#this comic has too much information all of the time but im enjoying myself

[omegawott]

hi im reading homestuck for the first time and im witnessing the silliest robot ever made

[sparklecarehospital]

I know you’re not working on any askblog things but will the sparklecare askblog ever return?

i've thought about this a lot, semi-recently. sorry for long post, i had a lot to say

see, the issue with asksparklecare is the fact it's supposed to "go along with canon events" and a lot of the time, the arcs will just abruptly end or change with no real connection between them. haunted was sort of my first attempt at putting a "story" on there, then again with the kissmas comic from 2021.

when i started cometcare for example, i wanted to take the generic "ask blog" format and turn it into a coherent, cohesive connecting story that just had interactive elements to make it engaging with readers as opposed to just making people ask the characters questions aimlessly. the main ask blog never really had that entirely, it was just sort of the classic 2010s-style ask blog, this is apparent in basically every arc on there.

it's stumped me quite a bit because now that i have this very different style of ask blog storytelling, the original ask blog feels weird to go back to and i don't feel the same passion or connection with it that i once did. it's a little bit frustrating. i tried to do an arc about the side patients but as you guys saw, i never even did it because i felt so out of touch with that old format of ask blog posts and i couldn't bring myself to work on it at all.

cometcare and darkermatters both have Stories to them, and each arc has a plot that is moved on by readers- even if i already have it written out, there are little things people can influence through the asks and it's a good way for introducing new characters or expanding on characters who we've already met. several times cometcare will return to specific characters to relay information or new details or exposition or something that their initial introduction didn't have.

it's a much more fun process for me to write actual stories in my AU blogs, instead of just....making the characters talk. and another thing- going alongside the main comic has problems, because sometimes there's information i can only reveal in the comic itself, and it's hard to keep up with it in general.

i enjoyed doing the kissmas comic because i got to do a "story" even if it wasn't interactive. i had fun repeating the concept on cometcare last december with help of the crew.

i'm sort of at a loss of what to do with the main ask blog at this point. as much as i miss doing stuff like that for main comic, i just don't find it FUN to do it that way anymore, i've become too attached to the storytelling aspects of my other ask blogs and it just doesn't feel the same exciting experience of watching people react to events and such.

if anyone has suggestions about what i should do with the main ask blog to solve this problem i'm open to hearing them, it would be nice to have some ideas because i'm really not sure what i want to do with it.

there was a time i had the idea of doing a backstory ask blog as an alternate main canon interactive story that followed similar mechanics as cometcare and darkermatters, but idk if everyone would be interested in that. that would probably be a separate thing if i ever did it.

thoughts, opinions, suggestions and ideas are all welcome in the replies or my inbox, i would love to have your guys' input since im making content you all would be engaging with after all

[eraserisms]

Your portrayal sticks out because it represents the only time I've ever fallen in love with a fandom just because of 1 RPer, never mind that I agreed to RP with you on this account despite my usual apprehensions about interacting with fandoms I don't know. I trusted you & I'm glad I did. You're so patient yet passionate when it comes to summarizing scenes of the show & relationships between characters--but that's over IMs, OOC. (Yes, everyone, the mun is kind & funny, in addition to be being a great RPer.) ANYWAY!

Shota's 1 of my favorite characters to interact with on here. I don't have it in me to go read or watch all of MHA, but I'm always finding myself asking questions about Shota or wondering what he'd do in ___ situation. & you know his voice, so you know the answer. & then there's all the work you put into developing parts of him that aren't canonically talked about. This is what the writing part of fandom is meant for. I don't know if you write fanfics, but they'd be enjoyable as fuck. I love reading your metas & HCs for Shota, no matter how long, because I CRAVE THE INFORMATION!! Also he's my dad (lol).

TL;DR - you're my only Shota & I love the effort you put into your portrayal. Thanks for introducing Kylie to his first boyfriend.

In reference to this post

You're so sweet. I am so glad that you gave me and Shota a chance! I have to say though, I feel the same way about the characters that you write. I honestly had forgotten how much I enjoyed X-men and Marvel things and didn't plan on doing too much interaction with those fandoms despite BNHA being a superhero based fandom. Thank you for reminding me, truly.

Also I am always ecstatic to answer any questions that you have about the fandom and storyline-esque things. Your active interest in something that you are unfamiliar with is really flattering within itself. I feel that you've also been so incredibly patient with me as far as explaining things goes because I have forgotten so much about those fandoms. Also the only comics I've ever really read as far as Marvel goes have been The Incredible Hulk, Captain America & Hawkeye. So, you filling me in on stuff I don't know about has been incredibly helpful especially considering that so many other Marvel RPers have reached out to me here.

I haven't written any MHA fanfictions yet but maybe sometime in the future. If I were to do anything like that , it would likely be some sort of one shot because I'm terrible at writing them to be honest. I think that's why I end up writing a lot of long-winded headcanons/metas here instead. & Shota is more than willing to 'dad' you any day of the week, being a dad is one of his many talents.

P.S. - I do a lot of shippy things with the person who introduced me to Shota who also plays All-Might. I actually made this blog with the intention of building familial/platonic & student/teacher relationships with Shota. Also given Shota's asocial nature, I didn't think that I'd be writing too many romantic relationships for him. But, given that we had written with each other in the past I was more open to the idea of shipping with you in general. & I have to say; I am happy to have started shipping Kylie with Shota. I feel that they compliment each other so well.

[flower-zombie-rob]

@archivefullofyoutubers Did a thing and I keep seeing people filling this out for new community members so I thought I would do one too just for the hell of it

Preferred name: either robbie or flower. Neither are my real name because i value my internet privacy, but most default to robbie so im comfy with either :)

Preferred pronouns: i dont really care

When did you start watching JSE?: I started around 2016, but 2017 was when I really got into the fandom and started watching the whole channel addictively on the regular.

Why did you start watching JSE?: I had a (really toxic) ex friend who liked it and at the time I wasn't that fussed so i watched a few vids, fell in love with his personality, went down the ego rabbithole and ended up getting so connected with it that im still here to this day and its been a really positive thing for me. I don't think she's involved with the community anymore, but I still am and will be for the foreseeable future.

Favourite thing about the channel?: its between the sweet personality of the man running the channel and the wonderful community of amazing people who inhabit the fandom. I love the whole ego thing because I am a sucker for weird characters who are played by the same person. I love the amazingly kind community and the charity work that we help sean to do. I adore all of the spectacular people and friends that I've met along the way in this community and the absolute talent that lines every part of our niche intrests. I just love JSE as a whole.

Do you have a fav ego?: Its no secret that I among the very rare few whose favorite ego is Robbie the zombie(second place is marvin). He is non-cannon and was a community creation that came about after a thumbnail was made with him in it. From there, the creatives took him and made him a great custom character who is fully up to everyone's interpretation and usually he is the sweetest little cinnamon roll boi that I have ever seen. He also has an incredibly strong connection to me personally and my blogs branding throughout the years, and I could never forget how much, as a character, he has contributed to my persona online. And hes just as cute as a muffin, i wanna hug him and squish his cheeks and pat his head and hes my little blorbo now id die for him.

What kind of community member are you?: I am a very active member of the community and thoughni dont think my art is comendable i have to condsider myself(due to others perceptions) to be a community artist. I am not a theorist because I do not have the brains for that, but I do like to entertain theories and read them. I like to get very interactive with other members of the community and according to someone on a jse discord server I am a tumblr OG of this community (though I'm not sure how true that is...)

What else do you enjoy?: In terms of content: I like sander sides, I like markiplier, I like the owl house, im obsessed with all things neil gaiman, im head over heels for good omens and the sandman, i love my own ocs even if i rarely draw them, and id like to dabble and try out cosplay because its an intrest of mine among other things. As most people do, I like music and films and I am actually a grade 3 vocalist doing a filmaking course(no way! I have a life outside tumblr!?😱)

Are you open to nice messages and new friends?: Oh yeah, 100%. Please! I absolutely love interacting with people and I get so many really kind and supportive people interacting with me! I love all of you so much!!! In terms of making online friends, I don't tend to give away much about myself personally or my information outside of what I share on my blog (like my age or my real name or my face most of the time or anything), but i have been branching out more with that, having met some of you at comic con this year. So sure! im open to friendships that dont push my boundaries :)

Thanks to the og creator for the questions and I'm glad to introduce myself to some new members of this community or migrators from Twitter

💜

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don��t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

&

@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

&

Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[loxxxlay]

a4 spoilers below

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okay seeing all these posts this morning, im getting upset so im gonna explain where im coming from:

im not mad that thor is fat now. i actually went through 3 phases once i read the spoilers about it:

one, briefly mourning the biceps that we all know i love.

two, GETTING SUPER EXCITED AT THE POSSIBILITIES. i definitely headcanon thor as becoming an alcoholic and losing touch with his physical health post-IW. i have like 3 fics lined up to read that deal with thor being overweight post-iw. i also have considered changing a post-iw fic im writing to include thor as being overweight too. i fucking love this idea of thor in canon showing signs of the huge grief and depression hes gone through. finally!!

and then three: i found more info, and while plotwise it might have been set up this way, thematically it seems to be insensitive. hes shamed by the people he loves--which Im well aware is a common experience, more on that later--but rather than for realism, it seems to be for COMEDY. so basically his weight gain is the butt of the joke. his suffering, his depression, his coping mechanisms are the butt of the joke.

okay more on my personal experience. i am not currently overweight, but i used to be throughout high school. and i got a really fucked up self image because of a few things ppl said. in college, i did ballet and basically starved myself for 2 years and became so thin that everyone started worrying about whether i was annorexic (i dont think i was but the fact is i did become underweight). that was a long time ago. ive finally regained my sense of hunger lol, and i am a decent weight right now, if a little chubbier than im comfortable with. many ppl call me "thin." however, even now i still binge eat during spikes of depression. im also very close to a family member who is currently overweight and used hard drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms during one of their brutal depressive episodes.

in my weight now, i know i am privileged. but that doesnt mean i was always this way and that i dont understand the reality behind thor's experience. and its really frustrating that i feel i have to self-disclose all this information about myself simply to be able to say "i dont want to risk seeing fatshaming of a beloved character in end game"

like, this doesnt even add to the fact of gamora's treatment in IW. i saw DROVES of people who said that they thought the russos were very respectful of her character and the abuse she suffered. while i respect those ppl's opinions and their enjoyment of the movie, i INTENSELY disagree. and because of that, i dont trust the russos anymore.

and so just because now, loads of people are saying thor's mental illness and weight gain were treated respectfully* doesnt mean i will agree???? like ive read the comments characters made to thor. i know about the "go eat a salad" line. and whether i ultimately agree with ppl or not about whether it's respectful, im too emotionally vulnerable to risk being in a crowded room for 3 hours unable to escape while listening to ppl laugh at a line--a line that has been said again and again to *my* family member when *i* was the one to rebel against ppl who would laugh and *i* was the one to reassure her and make her feel better about herself because she hates that she is fat. if i have to relive these kinds of things during the movie, then there is absolutely no way i will enjoy it. im fucking sorry for not being willing to risk it -_-

so yeah, in short, to all the posts im seeing today trying to imply i (and ppl like me) are fatphobic for not wanting to go see and potentially not liking endgame: it's not that thor is fat. quite the opposite. it's that i dont trust fatshaming used as comic relief, esp in the hands of the russos.

just like, it's not that gamora was abused. as u can see by my focus subjects in writing, quiiite the fucking opposite. it's that i dont trust a representation that has her killed by her abuser, thus validating her abuser's "love" for her.

*i respect every overweight person or every alcoholic person (or anyone who used to be either) if they enjoyed this movie and/or thought thor's experience was respectfully depicted. i, in no way, want to rob you of your much-desired representation. it makes me super happy for you to know you felt fulfilled. ❤❤ all that this post is asking is that you respect me for my opinion.

p.s. i have not seen endgame yet. my opinion might change when i do. the premise of this post is that i dont want to see it right this moment because, based on the knowledge i have, the risk to my mental health is too great.

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO ARGUE WITH ME OR CONVINCE ME IM WRONG. ive read like 5 million different opinions on thor being fat before i made up my mind, and i am WELL-VERSED on anything u could possibly say. (at least as much as i can be without seeing the movie.) i dont want hear it anymore. i dont want to defend my feelings anymore. i already had to like literally 50 times yesterday and im ooooverrrrr itttt. 😭😭😭😭 let me be upset and unwilling to go see endgame at this time. i promise you, despite my opinion, the world will keep spinning. your own enjoyment will stay strong. ❤❤❤❤

[jeremiahwasajoker]

5x02: Trespassers (A Review)

It’s that time again! I got to watch Trespassers on Thursday night. I know I said that I would be watching on Fridays, but I have convinced my parents to watch the night of, and they’re pretty okay with it! Anywho, tonight was episode two, and there were so many epic scenes, along with good laughs and memeable moments.  This season is my favorite by far, and it just started! At any rate, let’s start this review!

WARNING: This includes spoilers. If you have not seen the episode yet and want to avoid seeing any information about it, I would advise you to not look at this until you have done so. Without further ado, let’s get started!

First, I would like to say thank you to Barry Friedman. He was apart of the show’s post production team, and unfortunately passed away in August, when they were filming this episode. They made a title card for him at the very end, and his work was vital for the show to be aired. Rest in Peace. 

Also, shoutout to the composers and musicians that make the music on this show. Wow. The score is incredible! I think I remember hearing an extended version of the theme song this episode, and it blew me a way. As a music fanatic myself, it really added to the mood and atmosphere of the episode, which really elevated it even more. Wonderful job!

Next, I would like to review what I thought about some of the arcs of major characters and scenes that were incredible throughout Trespassers. They are in no particular order! Here we go!

Bruce and Ivy

IVYYYYYYYY! Peyton List is my favorite interpretation of Poison Ivy. She really encapsulates the character from the comics in the perfect way, and her design is beautiful! I like how Bruce acted throughout these scenes as he was determined as ever to get whatever it was that Selina needed in order to get better. He wasn’t going to play any games with her and when she turned on him, he was ready to fight. I will say, Bruce has become a good liar, too, as we see that he easily spit out the statement about his fake little brother. All in all, the two had a lot of chemistry together, and I just loved the scenes they shared together.

“Here he comes, Gotham...”

Erin Richards is really killing it this season. This scene was, once again, chill inducing. I feel like the quote that she said about Jim being Gotham’s most hated son will probably end up being one of the most iconic of the season. Whenever Babs yells, you can really hear the pain and utter anger in her voice, and something about this just leaves me in awe of Erin’s magnificent acting ability. Also, it is very interesting that she would help Jim out after everything. I know she said that she did so he could get killed, but we see towards the end of the episode that she genuinely wants to help. I can’t wait to see more of Barbara this season! 

Harvey’s Quick Quips

First of all, I would just like to say that this picture looks like it’s supposed to be for some kind of sit-com. Anyway, Harvey was so funny this episode! I think that he’s always the one to lighten a darker situation, and he really adds humor to the scenes he’s in. Some my favorite quotes this episode were “It's a freaking arrow, Jim! IT'S A FREAKING. ARROW!" , “Jim, I don’t feel so good.” (As someone who watched Infinity War and was utterly destroyed by Spider-Man dissolving, I’m glad it was turned into a meme. I know it probably wasn’t supposed to be referencing that, but still.), and “The Halloween shop was out of gas masks, so it was either this or sexy nurse.” Him dealing with Mother was also hilarious. Gotta love Bullock.

Mother and Orphan

This exact shot of Mother scared the living daylights out of me. I love that there was a sort of horror movie feeling to this episode, I’m not the biggest fan of those, but there was such a huge feeling of suspense in this episode, and it was amazing! Her just lurking around, and Orphan acting the way he was really did succeed in creeping me out. Those lights that knock you out were interesting, and it makes me wonder if the boy was really telling the truth about that or not. I’m glad that we got context to that random shot of teeth, as I was really confused about that when it was in the trailer. I’m so glad they introduced these two villains this season!

“I feel better...even better than before, in fact.”

I’m really glad that Selina is back to normal now. I did get scared when she was convulsing, and Bruce’s reaction really does show how much he truly cares about her. If she had died, I know he would never had forgiven himself. The fact that she’s happy again also relieves me, because seeing her in so much pain beforehand really hurt. When her eyes were glowing like a cat’s, I really liked the symbolism of the scene, as she was truly turning into Cat Woman. If she’s a metahuman or not is up for debate, but I’m not opposed to the idea! I’ll get into that a little more further down the line.

Since there were too many scenes for me to have the time to cover, I’ll have some honorable mentions! Ed peeing (face it, it was unexpected and hilarious), Jim and company versus the gangs, and the soothsayers.

Now is the time for a few questions I have about the latest episode!

Is Selina a Metahuman? I’m really not sure. I know people have been commenting about this, and if she is, I honestly don’t mind. It could be symbolism with the way her eyes turned into cat’s, but if it was the medicine really working and doing that, it’s interesting how her inner nature that is being released is that of a cat. I know some people don’t like the idea of this, but I think it would be cool!

How will Jeremiah obtain the tunnel the Soothsayers were in? At first, before we were introduced to these men, I thought that maybe they worked for Jeremiah. However, their motives told me otherwise. They want to get to the mainland, and he wouldn’t want that. I think that maybe he finds the place and hires some guys to make a maze under Gotham? Another thing that confuses me is that I thought that’s where his hideout was. Where is he hiding? Where’s his latest place of residence? I’m sure we’ll find out in the future.

If I had to sum up the episode with one Jeremiah Valeska mood, it would be:

Another entertaining and hilarious episode of Gotham! I loved it!

I know some people thought this episode was boring, but I personally felt that it was needed in order to set up plots and to develop the rest of the story line this season. From Trespassers and Year Zero, I can tell that this season is going to be my favorite by the time it’s complete. I can’t believe we have ten episodes of Gotham left!

Thank you for reading this! I hope you all had a wonderful time watching, too! I think I’m going to do one of these for each one that comes out. I’m so excited for the rest of the season! I hope you enjoyed!

[yasuda-yoshiya]

im so glad you decided to give utena a go! it's my favourite anime and there truly isn't any wrong interpretation of the events, themes, and characters. what are your thoughts on the individual student council members? as well as the black rose duelists, and the black rose arc itself? that part of the series always struck me as very important in the elaboration of themes that are important for the rest, even if its 'filler', lmao. and im glad you liked utena as well!

Utena is great! I’m very glad to have watched it. And I know what you mean about interpretations, haha; I’ve been looking up a lot of people’s meta and analysis about it since I finished watching it, and people really do approach it from so many different cool and interesting ways. I think it’s a really cleverly presented show in the sense that it doesn’t really directly push any particular lesson or moral to the story; it just sort of very accurately observes and portrays a lot of really relatable and recognisable social dynamics, and lets the viewer decide for themselves what they want to take from that. I really like it a lot!

Haha, gosh, that’s a lot of characters to cover! Well, let’s see how quickly I can sum them up… For the student council members, I really liked Saionji; I think they did a good job at balancing the portrayal of his sweet and childish side with his capacity for genuine ugliness when his insecurities cause him to lash out at people. He came across to me as someone who really did want a genuinely mutual emotional connection rather than just “possessing” someone (that exchange diary was very endearing in its ridiculousness) but didn’t really know how to go about that except by clumsily forcing it on people, which feels like a pretty relatable teenager thing.

Then there’s Miki…I felt like his fixation on his memories of Kozue and later Anthy as his “shining thing” was a pretty good portrayal of how idolising and putting people on a pedestal can also be its own way of dehumanising them, and I thought his episodes did a good job of showing how those sorts of feelings can easily get diverted into something ugly despite him being a basically gentle kid at heart. I wasn’t quite sure what to make about the stuff with his parents, exactly, and I felt like the whole plotline with Kozue was a bit all over the place, but I still basically appreciate the core of the character and what he adds to the series.

Juri was interesting! Her bitterness over Shiori felt like a pretty authentic and recognisable emotion to me; it’s certainly a very uncomfortable situation as a teenager to be in that position of having feelings for someone you know you’re not “supposed” to, and then having to put up with people giving you those empty platitudes of “oh, if you like someone then you should just tell them!!” without any real understanding of the situation. I thought her relationship with Shiori was pretty compelling in how messed up and dysfunctional it ended up being on both ends, but then her last couple of episodes with Ruka really didn’t do anything for me; it felt to me like he ended up sort of hijacking her plotline in a weirdly offputting way, so I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it in the end. I still like the character, but I felt like her overall arc had potential to be more interesting to me than it was.

Touga…I didn’t really like Touga very much! He honestly just came across as a very consciously manipulative asshole for most of the series, and the show’s eventual attempts to humanise him felt like too little too late for me. I think I can somewhat see and appreciate the idea of what they were going for in terms of a lot of his gross attitudes being a misguided attempt to emulate people like Akio as role models for what a “prince” should be, and that he was also a victim and a pawn of the system in the end, but on the whole I was pretty much inclined to agree with Saionji when he said “you’ve never actually cared about anyone”. Even after Utena supposedly made him doubt himself, he still seemed to keep acting in the same gross ways for the most part, which I guess was probably meant as an intentional deconstruction of the usual tropes in some respects (falling in love doesn’t actually magically make you a better person), but that still doesn’t really make me like him any more!

Nanami was just hilarious, haha. I expected her to be a really grating character from her introduction, but her comic relief episodes were so completely over-the-top ridiculous that they sort of wrapped around to being weirdly endearing in their way, so I couldn’t really actively dislike her. I also couldn’t ever bring myself to actually take her seriously as a character at all, though; bizarre comedy episodes aside, she seemed like a pretty standard clingy brocon character without a whole lot of nuance. But at least she was a very entertaining one!

Oh yeah, the Black Rose arc was really important, I agree! I wouldn’t really say it felt like filler particularly - I suppose it’s true that Utena and Anthy don’t do much in it, but thematically I think it does add a huge amount, and I enjoyed the way it established Akio as a sort of “wise mentor” figure in the background before really putting him into the spotlight in the final arc. It sort of made me sort of instinctively want to trust him even despite him being really obviously shady, which in retrospect was a pretty impressively complicated feeling for the show to be able to pull off. But yeah, the arc itself was really interesting! I think it was definitely a really effective and thematically important choice to put the focus on the “losers” of the system, giving a voice to people you’d expect to be background characters and giving them the chance to fight for themselves. I know Ikuhara said the Black Rose arc was inspired by him hearing someone on TV say something like “society is divided into the chosen and the unchosen; to be unchosen is to die”, and wanting to explore the feelings of the “unchosen”, and I think it achieved that pretty well; a lot of the Black Rose Duelists’ stories were pretty insightful in criticising the narratives behind that sort of artificial social hierarchy and what it does to people.

I think what left the most impact about it to me, though, was that it just had such a strong atmosphere! Those elevator therapy sequences really managed to be legitimately creepy and disturbing; the juxtaposition of the duelists’ big emotional breakdowns with Mikage’s weirdly impersonal, deadpan, scripted response struck a very effectively unsettling note for me. And the Black Rose Duelists themselves had such a cool and memorable aesthetic, too…it always felt really striking to me whenever we got to see them dueling, probably because most of them really aren’t the kinds of characters you’d expect to be fighting (as opposed to most of the student council members who have established fencing and Kendo skills), so it sort of added to the impression of these people who wouldn’t normally have any power within the system being given a chance to fight. So yes, on the whole I think it’s a really cool arc, with a really fantastic presentation in particular.

As for impressions on each of the Black Rose Duelists individually, hmm, let’s see…Kanae was a good enough introduction to the concept, but didn’t really leave that much impression. I felt bad for her being used by Akio, but she didn’t really get enough screentime for me to get invested. Kozue…I think Kozue never really clicked for me, honestly? Her being so creepily possessive of Miki was sort of offputting to me (this show already has enough incest, you know…?), and I felt like I couldn’t really get a good feel for her character or what drove her on anything more than an abstract level.

Shiori was really interesting! There was a compelling sort of raw desperation behind her panicked, uncomprehending response to finding Juri’s locket that really stuck with me; it’s sort of an ugly reaction but it honestly felt pretty sympathetic to me, I think? Like, if on the one hand your former best friend is totally off-handedly dismissing your attempts to reach out and make amends with her in person and acting like she never wants to see you again, but at the same time you find out she’s also secretly treasuring an old picture of you as her most prized possession and keeping it on her at all times…well, that IS actually pretty weird, you know?! I think most people would be at least a little creeped out by that. So Shiori’s kind of totally confused panic response and weird mix of vindicated elation and anger culminating in that accusing shout of “WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME THAT WAY?!” honestly felt pretty real to me. I felt like they did a good job of conveying a real constant sense of deep-rooted self-loathing behind her more selfish and manipulative actions that made it hard for me not to feel sorry for her a lot of the time; it seemed to me like she was stuck in a sort of toxic cycle of trying to escape her low self-esteem by “deceiving people into liking her”, which inevitably just made her feel even worse about herself and just fed deeper into the initial assumption that no one would like her unless she deceived them, and so on, which was really painful to watch. I’m not surprised that she seems to evoke such visceral emotional responses from people within the fandom, because I think a lot of what she says and does really feels uncomfortably raw and real in a way that’s difficult to process. She’s a very good character in that way!

Tsuwabuki…well, he didn’t particularly grab me as a character, but I did actually enjoy his Black Rose episode quite a bit. I feel like it makes for a pretty strong illustration of just how little coherent and accessible information there really is out there for young kids trying to understand what sexuality and relationships are like, so it’s easy for people to end up turning to dubious sources and developing weird and messed up ideas about how things work and what “adulthood” actually means. It’s really no wonder that our whole cultural standards around that stuff have become so screwed up and dysfunctional when no one’s even really willing to talk about it.

Wakaba was great! I liked her a lot. She was a genuinely good friend to Utena and a good illustration of the unappreciated strength and value of “normal people”. The end of her arc with Saionji honestly made me really sad! I sort of wish there was a little bit more follow-up after her duel with Utena, though; I would have liked it if the whole thing had a bit more of a lasting impact on Wakaba and how Utena viewed her and their friendship, but it didn’t feel like that ever really happened, so her subplot felt a bit…unresolved, I guess? Well, I think it’s probably intentional that most of the characters besides Utena and Anthy don’t really get a firm “resolution” to their arcs - the potential for growth is there, but they still haven’t broken out of their shells yet, which is fine - but I think I would have at least liked to see her take a few more steps toward being able to see her own worth without needing someone “special” to validate her. (Akio can get lost with his whole “oh normal people only ever get to shine for a short time lol” nonsense, urrgghh.)

I liked Keiko too! Devoting a whole episode to a previously nameless bit character like that was a really cool way of hammering home the whole theme of breaking down the conventional assumptions behind social “hierarchies” even on a meta/narrative level. Keiko herself was interesting to me in the sense that her grievances and anger at having her chance at happiness “denied to her” when she’s no less deserving than anyone else actually felt legit sympathetic at first in isolation, but then you look at the unspoken assumptions framing that narrative and it suddenly becomes really disturbing (this person would make me happy, everyone deserves happiness, therefore I deserve this person).

Mikage…man, I really wanted to like Mikage - the basic ideas behind his character are really cool and fascinating - but I think his arc just felt too rushed for me in the end? It felt like we basically got dumped with his entire plot and backstory immediately before it got resolved, so I didn’t really have time to get emotionally invested in his story before it was already over. Revealing midway that half of his backstory was probably a lie didn’t exactly help things either, as I was left struggling to keep up with what was actually real and what wasn’t; I still don’t feel like I really have a handle on some of the basic points like why he actually set the building on fire or when exactly Mamiya died, which makes it hard for me to really connect with the character and understand what exactly he got out of the illusionary narrative that Akio constructed for him. Theoretically I feel like he should really be exactly the kind of character I absolutely love - someone detached from their own emotions who doubts their basic humanity, who keeps clinging single-mindedly on to his memories of the only people who ever made him actually feel something even after they’re long gone? Wow, sign me up - but the execution just didn’t quite do it for me. I feel like his story might have benefited from being more spread out across the whole Black Rose arc instead of shoved entirely into two episodes, so that we got more of a chance to get more gradually invested in him? As it is, I still think he’s a conceptually fascinating character, and I’ve read a lot of great meta about his place in the story and his parallels with Utena that makes him sound incredibly interesting, but I just couldn’t really feel it from the show itself.

Wow okay I sure did write a lot! Well, that’s my initial impressions on the Utena characters. I expect a lot of those impressions would change if I watched it again, though - like I said, I don’t think I really fully grasped the real aims and themes of the show until the very end, so I’d probably pick up on a lot more nuances a second time around. But those are my thoughts for now!

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[maddieforrest]

What Do I Want To Do?

I don’t know why at this point in my life I’m feeling a bit baffled. What will make me longterm happy? I feel like recently my brain has been stuck in this weird loop, thinking of all the things I could want to do and trying to figure out with one of them will make me the happiest, because to succeed at any of them, It seems like I have to either choose one to be really good at and get greater and greater at it and also post about it constantly. 

I love indie comics! I love reading them and they feel like such a unique infinite artform where you can use so many beautiful techniques to make them and i love designing within the format of the comic, pushign panels into each other and having monsters lumber through one to another and talk to you and each other through this portal. I feel like I can create a world within them that my monsters inhabit and it could make me happy. 

I love Jewelry, I looked at it as my true love and the medium was infinite and that I could design within the sculpted format and think three dimentionally, and my days, when I focused on that completely were so fruitful and fullfilling and I dreamed up such a life for myself and saw the end of the road as a famous jewelry maker and thought oh my what a thing to dress people up in costumes and let them see themselves as extravagant and otherworldly in my jewelry, it is the perfect life mission and one that I like all the steps of conducting. The mold making is such a fun puzzle and makes me feel like im really hands-on working, like i like. I love seeing each piece as it came out and seeing how the glitter concoctions i made came out. I loved buying all the materials and just surrounding myself with weird tactile beauty that never existed before i made it. I love the feeling of resin in my hands and making the organic shapes I did felt so rewarding to touch, like magical artifacts from a world that never existed inside my heart. Sappy I know, but I’m in a sappy  mood right now, I’m trying to determine my stupid destiny, let me have this!!!!

I could see making beautiful illustrations and strange sculpted gallery-hanging things my real art and something even more precious. This used to be my main main longterm goal and I was so set on it for a long time but i don’t know how much i like the gallery world and focusing so much on one piece that goes away. plus the people that buy it are all rich and i don’t know how lovely that life would be, selling my stuff to rich people who life a life i don’t. who knows maybe i will be rich then. that seems unlikely but also i know im speaking completely about a world and people i don’t know. 

why did i stop singing? Why am i afraid of that? I see people around me follow their singing dreams and i envy them but also see how there’s nothign in their way and there’s nothing in mine. Even if i don’t win the game and get followers and find people who want to pay me for what I’m making, even then. I think it would be fine because I would be doing it. Making songs is hard though. But i don’t even know if that’s really true, songmaking is just more nebulous, all the information is being made in my mind and i have to look at it in my mind and remember it and sculpt an invisible thing in my mind and that has frustrated me but maybe i just have to let myself play. That was my first dream, to sing for a living. 

I heard about polymaths, who are people who are pulled toward many different avenues and collect those skills and just ARE many things. Many great people of history were polymaths, like Childish Gambino!!

I can do that, I’m already doing that with working as a hand model, which i like very much and it makes me feel important and necessary, and also doing stop motion which also makes me feel important and necessary and makes use of my visual eye and ability to make good art choices! I think as I take jobs and do things i learn more about mysefl and what I can do and all I can ask is to have fun along the ride of experiencing me. I want to just do that, have fun experiencing me and seeing what that’s like. Who am I? what can I do? What things define me, I don’t like being defined as one thing, but also my life is too short to be all the things I see, so i just have to work really really hard, but aslo have a life of leisure would be nice too how to do it all, I imagine if i work really  hard now the future can be a little leisure but also i see so many people later in life where that never happens to them. Is the point just to ponder this into infinity till we die not knowing anything? I’m not happy just sitting and watching a movie, i have to be acomplishing something. building towards something all the time or taking a break from doign that for an afternoon or day but never does it leave my mind. i dont know. im figureing it out.

I love stop motion fabrication. It is the smartest option of all the art futures i can see for myself. I get to be around loving and beautifully creative people with weird perspectives and dreams and the same attitude towards life as i do, and i can see it being lucrative, no rich maddie future, but thriving maddie future. I am feeling more positive towards it and i am starting to get jobs in it and i am thrilled and nervous and frightened and in love but cautious. This next month of my life, starting the 20th, im going to be on my biggest stop motion job yet! It’s going to be hard work that I feel i can accomplish but that I know i have to really focus for because it could really jumpstart my career i think. it’s 18 days total and 5 days per week at $250 per day and i don’t know what’s going on. I was asked to do a stoopid buddy job and had to turn it down because i was already booked on a hand modeling job and I kindof feel crazed about that but i only remembered that that was true right now recalling it. Gosh. A while back, i got to talk to Jessica Dalva about her career, very briefly. I was thinking about this so much, as i seem to do once in a while, and she has a similar path that I have had i think. She was in stop motion and then went to just making what she really wanted to make, figures on a wall in the most elegant and haunting of poses. She explored beautiful emotions and surreal artifacts, but not full stories. 

I suppose, if you think about it. I don’t need to lead the whole lifepath to appreciate the end goal, the object. When I look at some comics, i know i could never even get near making the majesty that they are, so I’m so glad someone else dedicated their lives to showing me how great a thing could be if you went all the way with it and learned everything about it and sought such perfection with the path. I know then that I shoudln’t try to go down every path maybe or I wont get to the end. but is the purpose in the end to have an end that is great or to have enjoyed the journey to your full ability to enjoy it, and the monotony of one thing is too boring even if it could give many people the feeling of complete awe for a very small duration of their lives. 

in my research of this world and what it has to offer, i feel like im coming to a thought recently, that the best way to explain whats great in the world is through stories, those get to the heart of things, not object making but story weaving. Maybe? But i also feel like stories need support roles. the depiction of good emotions and the correct deep emotion weaving is part of good depictions of stories. What would a pixar movie be without every little part that one person added to the big puzzle. Individually, did each person feel the same amount of fulfillment from doing one of the more menial parts? I need missions. I need things to feel a part of, even if those things are things I just make up but also things that already exist. Like with mattel, i feel like im part of making something that affects children and tells them what’s good and lovely that they could play with and make believe with. toys are so magical and i really believe that. I puppet the dolls really well, i think and I take pride in my work, and it feels good that it pays a lot for such a task, it feels like they’re saying what I’m doign is so worthwhile. It just has increased my confidence a lot. which is so weird because i got the job accidentally kind of and had never thought of such a field as a way i would identify in any way and for a while i rejected it so much, but i think everyone is just themselves and who they are isn’t defined by the things that society has already made me feel they are defined by. It’s so hard to shirk that internal feeling that i am what I do. I am how nice i can be, how witty i am, how i feel about music, how i feel about other people’s beauty, and how i want to know you. 

to be continued, i just typed until i was less confused and down, and now I shall continue to figure it out and shit. 

[legit-min-yoongi-trash-tho]

BTS Intro Post

Title; BTS Intro Post

Genre; Info(??)

Type; Intro Post

Group/Member; BTS – OT7

Authors Notes; Enjoy! I’m soo terribly sorry it’s so late! Hope it’s what you wanted!! 😊 Also this is a rlly rlly long post with lots of facts and photos so um ye...have fun. Tbh all this post does is just prove what a big ‘ol piece of trash i am because 95% of these facts were from memory, I typed all dis shit out guys...im fuckin dead now. These are all facts from websites that I remember, certain nicknames are not necessarily what I call them but some dso. kbye 😊 x

{Requested}

oKAY SO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND GET YO FEELS READY FOR BTS AKA BANGTANSONYEONDAN AKA BULLETPROOF BOY SCOUTS, AKA BEYOND THE SCENE, AKA THESE 7 DORKS WE STAN FOR SOME REASON!!

First up is Kim Seokjin {Jin, Jinnie, Mamma Jin, Princess Jin, Eomma/Eomma Jin, Pink Princess, Eat-Jin, Third Guy From The Left, Car Door Guy, Mr Worldwide Handsome, Seokjinnie}. Jin is the oldest brother, the oldest hyung in BTS and is basically their mother and let’s be honest our mother too.

Some facts;

 Born in Gwacheon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He’s got a papa, mamma, and hyung

 He majored in film at Konkuk University

 BTS be placin’ him as #1 visuals…I mean…he is gorgeous

 He has the longest legs & widest shoulders (60cm)

 He does this “traffic dance” which is adorable and you should go check it out, you won’t regret it

 He speaks a lil Chinese (Mandarin)

 Lil Jinnie usually cleans up the dorms (because he’s literally bangtans mum)

 He also rlly likes Disney princesses which is adorable

 He’s a v v good cook and has said he’s happiest when he’s with food (relatable jin m8)

 Fave number = 4

 Fave colour = blue (used to be pink, I think he still has a soft spot for it tho)

 Fave weather = spring sunlight

 Jin started playing Super Mario at like age 5 and Maple Story in Seventh Grade (Year 7) and he still plays them 😊

 When he’s hungry his left eye blinks a lot

 Fave foods = lobster, meat, Naegmyun, chicken, and greasy foods

 He’s friends with Jin Hyosang (Kidoh) from ToppDogg as Kidoh was under Big Hit Entertainment but left in 2012 and switched to Stardom Entertainment

 His role model is T.O.P from BIGBANG (same boi, same)

 He has lots of Nintendo games and Action Figures

 When he was younger he wanted to be a detective

 He wears rlly strong prescription glasses but doesn’t like wearing them because he’ll become insecure (I think we can all agree that Jinnie bean would look absolutely adorable in glasses??)

 He has a cute lil dog named JJanggu

 He likes Alpacas

 Jin can play guitar and piano

 He says V is the member he’s the closest to

 Jin says if he’d get a day off he would want Suga to be his servant so he an order him around

 If he were a girl, he said he would date Jimin because he is shy and someone like Jimin would help him open up and be social

 Jungkook and Jin bicker a lot, and a taxi driver once thought they were twins because of their nonstop bickering

 He likes strawberries but not strawberry flavoured things (yO SAME THO)

 He makes a lot of dad jokes (goals)

 Suga is the only one who doesn’t laugh when he makes dad jokes

 Jin said that looking at bugs isn’t scary, but if they get on his body, that’s rlly scary

 He dieted for a year, only eating chicken breasts ☹

 He is friends with B1A4’s Sandeul, they even went to an amusement park together

 He’s also friends with VIXX’s Ken and Lee Won Keun

 Jin sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside V, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You” (can find it here)

 He was casted in Law of the Jungle in Kota Manado but left earlier than the other cast because BTS had an abroad concert that time

 After BTS attended the BBMAS (Billboard Music Awards), Jin got a lot of attention (internationally) for his v good looks

Other members about Jin;

 Jimin; “He’s the oldest, but he likes to whine” [after school club] / “He’s like a grandma”

 Jungkook; “Jin-Hyung looks manly and he’s chic like a wolf but personality-wise, he’s carefree so he’s sloth-like (laughs). He’s really nice and he’s also a good cook, so we call him ‘granny’ between us”

 Suga; “A wolf”

 V; “Prince”

 J-Hope; “A princess”

 Jin’s ideal girl is a girl whose looks and personality is similar to that of a puppy, who’s hood at cooking, kind and takes good care of him

Summary; Literal princess, BTS & army’s mother, loves food and cooking, a beautiful man wHO NEEDS MORE RECOGNITION PLS AND MORE LINES ISTG I WILL WALK ALL THE WAY TO SOUTH KOREA FROM ENGLAND ALL THE WAY TO BIG HIT AND DEMAND THIS SHIT

Okay so next up is my ultimate bias (in case you couldn’t tell) Min Yoongi {Suga, AgustD, Yoongles, Min PD, Syub Syub, Motionless Min, Genius (self-proclaimed but I can reveal that this is a true fact m8), Min Monarch, Min Suga, D Boy, Sub-Energy}. Yoongi is the second oldest in BTS and probs the most savage human upon the planet, he often seems like the grandpa of the group but he can also be kinda childish and lively sometimes ^_^

Some facts;

 He was born in Buk-gu, Daegu, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

 He attended/attends Global Cyber University

 Yoongles is usually in charge of fixing the things Rap Monster breaks. He changes lightbulbs, fixes the toilet etc (handyman ayyee 😉 )

 He is like the father or grandpa of BTS

  Although Rap Monster revealed that he sometimes acts like a 5 yr old (same m8, same)

  He usually scolds and nags the younger members when they make mistakes

  Yoongi chose to become a rapper after listening to “Fly” by Epik High

  His role models are; Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Lil Wayne, and Hit Boy

  He has a driving license but doesn’t usually drive

  Yoongi loves to play basketball and when he was a trainee he played basketball every Sunday

 He is quite blunt and straightforward, a trait of many ppl from Daegu

 When he was younger he wanted to be an architect

 His hobbies include reading comics, basketball, playing games, and taking pictures

 He writes/composes lyrics daily, and even writes lyrics when he’s in the waiting room, car, or even the toilet (dedicatioooon)

 He wrote the song ‘촣아요’ (Like It) under 40 minutes

 If he has a problem he usually talks to Rap Monster because their age gap is small, they have things in common, and they’ve known each other for quite some time

 Fave food = meat, meat, meat (same tho)

 Fave number = 3

 Fave colour = white

Suga comes from a poor family, in an interview he disclosed; “After we debuted, I went back to the dorm and sat there blankly staring. I could not believe that me, a kid from a poor daegu family, would be able to make it”. (you made it bby, so proud omf)

He speaks with a satoori accent when he’s nervous and when he cries ;-;

His ideal date would be something simple, “For me, just an ordinary date...I want to watch a movie, walk and would like to eat together”

When asked which member would he bring on a deserted island for 3 years, he answered Jimin.

Suga; “Jimin. To boss around. (LOL) Just kidding. I don’t talk a lot, I’m not the fun type, but Jimin is pleasant and mature, so I think it’d work out.”

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He loves taking photos (same)

His bad habit is biting his nails (also same ;-; )

3 things he likes are; sleeping, quiet places, places with no people

3 things he dislikes are; dancing, loud places, places where there are people crowding around

Fave weather; where you can wear short sleeves in the day and long sleeves at night

He thinks his looks are 50 out of 100; “Truthfully, when I see myself I think I’m ugly” (um liess boi, ur fuckin gorgeous so like…ye)

Other members about Suga;

Jin; “He likes being attached to his bed. He has a variety of knowledge and always gives help with that knowledge. I’m fascinated as to where he gets that weird knowledge from.”

J-Hope; “Is cool. His personality is quite strong on his own thoughts. Pretends not to care when he does. Seems like he’s all over the place, but is quite careful. That kind of personality. (Ah!! Personality where he only just shows strength ㅋㅋ)”

V; “He really has a lot of knowledge. He’s quite cool on stage. Cool and amazing. No answer to him being lethargic.”

Jeongguk; “He’s like a grandpa. But his passion towards music is overflooding. He also has a lot of knowledge. But he’s still a grandpa.”

Rap Monster; “Lingers on things more than you would think. He’s really timid once you get to know him. Full of random information. Grandpa. Although he seems cool – never… no no… Wants to be loved. Likes music. Has passion and stubbornness. Says what he wants to and can say everything well in front. Has style.”

Jimin; “He talks too much in front of you. He doesn’t hesitate, and although this is my personal thoughts, he likes being loved by the members ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

His ideal type is a girl who likes music, especially hip hop. He says he doesn’t really care about looks. He also wants a girl who can be very active when he wants to and very silent when he wants to. A girl that will always be by his side (boy im here, sign me tf up)

He has a male doggo named Holly and she’s deffo his weakness

Summary; The lethargic turtle of BTS with a both a savage side and a cutesy side that spits literal fire that needs to be protected imo. He is a lil been who can act 5yrs old one second and then act like an 80yr old man the next.

Now we have the actual sun personified, Jung Hoseok {J-Hope, Hobi, Hopi, Hoseokie, Sunshine boy, Your Hope, Your Angel, Hope, J-Horse}. Hobi is basically literal sunshine and so sweet. He has the voice of an angel and can also rap like a gOD, he’s also the main dancer for BTS and he has major skillz m8.

Some facts;

Born in Gwangju, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and noona

He went to Gwangju Global High School; & Global Cyber University

Before he debuted, he hated doing aegyo but now he’s changed his mind (and we love his aegyo obvs)

Hobi and B.A.P’s Zelo went to the same academy for rap and dance in Gwangju

In his pre-debut days, he was part of a street dance team called NEURON

He won an underground dance battle and even performed at a festival (go hobiii) 😊

Initially he auditioned for JYP Entertainment, together with B.A.P’s Youngjae and Halo’s Dino

Fave colour = green

He has a cute doggo named Mickey

Hobi hates working out and exercising (I relate)

Used to be a tennis player in elementary school and played in competitions. He once received a bronze medal, out of 3 team competitors

He rlly likes melodramatic movies and remembers watching a lot of DVD’s when he was a kid, since his father also likes movies

His role models are; A$AP Rocky, J. Cole, Beenzino, G.D

He says he is closest to Jungkook

J-Hope’s motto “If you don’t work hard, there won’t be good results”

He likes visiting the Fancafe when he has time because he needs to know what are fans saying (always there for us armies)

When having problems or worries he would share them with Rap Monster or Suga (so cute 😊 )

When he was younger he was quite famous in the Gwangju dance underground

Things he wants to steal from other members is Jimin’s chocolate abs, Rap Monster’s rap skill and his good English

His ideal date; “I love the sea, I would like to walk down to the beach and hold hands (laughs)”

Other members about J-Hope;

Jimin’s first impression about J-Hope; “The first person I met was J-Hope. He was very friendly to me, ‘Excuse me, Jimin.’. So, I remembered J-Hope the most.”

Jimin about J-Hope’s mean side; “J-Hope is bright guy, laugh a lot and has become hopeful like his name. J-Hope has good energy that effects everyone in a good way and I think J-hope is awesome. And people think he’s always nice and innocent. But, inside his smiley face, there’s an evil living there. J-Hope winds me up all the time but never stop smiling even when he does that. But you can never punch someone who looks so happy like that. One day, I was sleeping and all of sudden he poked me and shook me saying,

‘Jiiiimiiiiiiiin, wake up and play with me!!!!’

So, I woke up. But right after I opened my eyes, he just grinned at me and went back to sleep like nothing happened. So, I thought,

‘Uuuugh! I can never say anything to him cause he’s older than me!’.

And once he told me he would give me a massage and started squeezing the back of my neck, and that got tighter and tighter! He was smiling at then too! At the end, I was getting upset but he didn’t stop it. He was doing it even harder and said,

‘This will relax your muscles.’

When I was sitting down at the rehearsal room during the break, he head locked me. He hit me once and left the room so I looked at him with a serious face for a second. J-Hope, the timid, came to the room only after three seconds and gave me some mischievous hugs and said,

‘Jimin! Are you upset at me? Are you?? You are not! Aren’t you??’

Chuckling hard, he left room after 10 seconds. What should I do with him?”

Rap Monster; “There’s something he always says whenever we make a comeback or wrap up our promotion. He says that we got to make a comeback or successfully complete the promotion, thanks to the love shown by our fans.”

Suga; “I’m not good at expressing how I feel with words. But Jimin and J-Hope are good at expressing themselves. I envy them for that.”

Hobi’s ideal type is a girl who loves him, is good at cooking, and thinks a lot

Summary; he’s literally sunshine and he has one of the biggest hearts ever. Dancing machine Hobi is such a lil bean and he deserves the world, honestly 😊 alSO DESERVES MORE LINES!!

Kay so now we have the intellectual, the very philosophic Kim Namjoon {Namjoon, Joonie, Joonbug, Moni, Rap Monster, Rap Mon, Namjoonie, Leader Mon, God of Destruction, The Destroyer}. Smol dorky bean with dimples and a v v high IQ of 148. Also, literally a Rap God whose life is about philosophy, BTS, and music.

Some facts;

He was born in Ilsan, Gyeonggi-d, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and lil sis

He went to Apgujeong High School

Rap Monster studied in New Zealand and lived/stayed there for 6 months. :O  

He’s currently enrolled to Global Cyber University

Pre-debut he had already been performing as an underground rapper, with several tracks released informally, including a collaboration with Zico (Block B)

He’s really smart with an IQ of 148. He was previously ranked in the top 1% of the nation in his high school exams (so fuckin smart m8)

He speaks English fluently (he does so well omg ;-; )

Rap Monster’s TOEIC (The Test of English for International Communication) score was 900.

There was a rumour among the Korean fans that at the age of 15, Namjoon had a heart surgery with a 30% chance of living (but that’s probs legit just a rumour)

Hobbies include surfing the web

He’s a great supporter of Gay/Lesbian’s rights 😊 😊

He has a younger sister the same age as Jungkook but when asked if he would introduce her to him, he said N.O (ehehe)

His image before debut was a neat and quiet student

He started to write lyrics since he was in school, on his textbook

Rap Monster has composed/produced 100+ songs (y’all needa check out his solo raps n mixtape boisss)

Clothes matter to him (yo I live for his daily kim posts)

Fave food = Kalguksu (Korean knife noodles)

Fave colour = black

Fave number = 1

Fave items = clothes, computer, books

Despite Moni’s rough and tough image, he is v playful n relaxed

He likes clear weather

If he were a girl he said he would date J-Hope because he’s like the mother at the dorm

Role models; Kanye West & A$AP Rocky

Rap Monster wrote the lyrics of ‘No More Dream’ because he had no dreams when he was in school ☹

He, along with Jung Hunchul (ex member of Bangtan) wrote a Brave Brother/YG diss track called ‘Hook’ (check it out here man)

He wants to be a rich Rapper in 10 years

He has a dog, whose name is RAP MON

He would like to make a sub-unit with Jungkook

He was the first member to join BTS

He likes to imitate his members

Rap Mon said that he and GOT7 Jackson are good friends. He said Jackson is very handsome and really good at dancing

 His ideal date; “It’s like the ordinary college student date. We can see a movie together, eat together, walk together. I want to have love like that. It’s because I can’t at all (laughs)”

Some of his popular quotes are; “Jimin, you got no jams” and “Team work makes the dream work”

Other members about Rap Monster;

Suga; “On the stage, Rap Mon wears sunglasses and has a powerful image but actually he likes cute things. He keeps the ‘Pocket Monster Ball’ on his bed that he received at a fansign”

Jin; “The Baby Dinosaur Dolly. He shakes his tail and crushes things

Jimin;” In the fact, he gets hurt easily”

Rap Mon’s ideal type; “Sexy, even to a brain. Someone that is thoughtful and confident”

Summary; lil dimpled smol bean Moni is all about his music and his groups and fans. He’s chilled and relaxed but has a powerful image on stage. Literally the god of destruction and could probs just look at something and it’d break (that’s what happens to me anyways)

oKAY so next up is lil squishy sinful bean Park Jimin {Jimin, Chim, Chim chim, Chiminie, Mini, Jiminie, Mochi, Sexy Mochi, Jiminie Pabo, Christian Chim Chim, Kumquat Mochi, Mang Gae Ddeok. Oh, and I regularly call him Chim Cham/Chim Chams}. Such a smol chubby lookin bean but then he turns into the personification of sin itself on stage and I literally cannot deal with it man…kills me

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and lil bro

He attended/attends Busan High School of Arts; Global Cyber University

Pre-debut Jimin entered Busan High School of Arts as the top student in modern dance, but later transferred to Korea Arts High School with V

Fave colours = blue & black

Fave number = 3

Fave foods = pork, duck, chicken, fruit, kimchi jjigae

Chim Chams used to view himself as “fat” and he was self-conscious of his looks and cheeks (which were adORABLE)

When he viewed himself as “fat” (he doesn’t anymore)…(I hope) he went into depression and starved himself T_T

He prefers sunny and cool weather

Is known for his impressive abs (*dies*)

He likes to jokingly hit the other members as a way of showing his affection for them

If music is playing he will start to dance no matter where he is 😊

When the weather is sunny and cool, Jimin likes wearing earphones while listening to music that gives a good feeling.

Jimin became interested in a singing career after watching a Rain performance

Once he wrote some lyrics and gave them to Suga. Suga said; “You called these lyrics?!” (the lyrics sounded like a children song). Suga asked him to redo the lyrics, but in the end, he still couldn’t use Jimin’s lyrics ☹

Jimin’s role models are; Rain, Taeyang (Bigbang) and Chris Brown

He is most confident in his eyes

He enjoys reading comic books. He said that comic books influenced him a lot

Jimin usually solves his problems himself. If he can’t solve it, he will share it with V and ask for his advice

Jungkook is always teasing Jimin about his height

In the dorm, Jimin in charge of the kitchen (chef chim doe??? 😊 )

Things he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s height, V’s talent and gaze, J-Hope’s cleanliness, Suga’s diverse knowledge

Jimin’s ideal date; “Sitting on the bench, drinking together… I would like to have a countryside date. We would also walk holding hands…. (Laughs)”

If he’d get a day off, Jimin jokingly said he wants to go on a date with Jungkook while holding hands together. And when Jungkook talked about his wishes, Jimin shouted; “Live happily together with me!” (fucKIN SHIP)

He felt a bit hurt when Jungkook ranked him the last in terms of looks. Jimin thinks the 1st is Jin while the 7th is Suga. (He was going to rank Rap Monster as the 7th but he changed his mind saying that recently Rap Monster got better-looking)

He has to use eyeliner while practicing the choreography, else he can’t seem to show strong expressions and he will get shy

Jimin appeared in GLAM’s MV Party (XXO). GLAM disbanded, they were under BigHit.

Jin chose Jimin as the member who has changed the most since debut😊

Other members about Jimin;

Jin; “Comes at you really cutely. It’s like being attacked by a puppy. Can’t refuse requests because he’s too nice.”

Rap Monster; “Basically kind and gentle. Is very considerate. Isn’t as timid as you would think. Likes clothes and style (same with me). But even though he responds well, there are many times where he doesn’t actually do it. Is quite stubborn. Is the effort-type.”

Suga; “Follows the hyungs’ words well, isn’t the personality where he’ll receive dislike somewhere, puts in effort to live his hardest”.

J-Hope; “Is kind, listens to his hyungs well, has a lot of greed, and has a personality where he makes sure to do his part, and he has a really good personality where he likes me the most and his faith towards me is very strong~~ ♥♥♥♥”

Jeongguk; “He’s the effort-type along with being a triple blood-type A, timid, shameless, and hates losing.”

V; “Cute. Only the amount of him losing his temper is excessive, he’s kind and a friend that’s trustworthy. I talk to him the most, and if I have any worries, he’s the friend that I tell it first to”

His ideal type is a nice and cute girl who is smaller than him

Summary; uuggggh he’s just so fuckin cute and he deserves all the love in the world. He loves the others so much and cares for them loads. He’s a squishy bean in the streets and a sinful bean on stage. Everybody needs a lil chim in their life 😊

Up next is the animal loving, sweetheart, 4d alien Kim Taehyung {Taehyung, Tae, Tae Tae, Taehyungie, 4D alien, Blank Tae, 4D, Alien, CGV, Gucci Boy, Gucci Prince, V} dis bean is crazy and extra as hECK. He’s also super adorable and his laugh is probably the best thing ever omfg.

Some facts;

He was born in Daegu, South Korea.

He has a mamma, pappa, and lil bro

He attends/attended Korea Art School; Global Cyber University

Tae Tae can speak Japanese fluently :O

Fave colours = black, green, and white

Fave number = 10

V’s favourite items are = his computer, big dolls, clothes, shoes, accessories, and anything unique (like himself lol)

It is said that when his teaser image was released 5 personal fan clubs were created 😊

He has been in the group for a while, but fans didn‘t know or hear of him until the time around his debut

He likes anything that is unique

His favourite artist is Eric Bannet

His role model is his dad. He wants to be a dad like his dad, someone who takes care of his children, listen to everything they say and encourage & advise them in their future plans (so fuckin cuuuute)

He has the same hobbies with Jin

When V has a problem, he will share it with Jimin and Jin. But he thinks it’s easier to talk to Jimin since they have the same age

Fans said V looks like Baekhyun (EXO) and Daehyun (B.A.P.). He said Baekhyun is his mother and Daehyun is his father. (it’s true tho)

V is a mood maker in BTS, along with Suga (daegu princessss)

V’s motto; “I just came up with it but let’s life coolly to the maximum. Since life happens only once, waking up at ease in the morning and working doing your best”

According to Yahoo Taiwan poll, V is the most popular BTS member in Taiwan

In the dorm V is in charge of the washing machine

When V celebrated his Birthday (131230 at MBC Gayo Daejun), he felt very happy because he able to share birthday with K.Will. K.Will’s waiting room was beside BTS’s room. So, K.Will came to him and said, “Hey, is it your Birthday today? It’s mine too! Let’s blow the candle together.”

V likes amusement parks. He especially likes the gyro drop, gyro swing and roller coasters (boi we can go together because same)

V can climb a tree but he can’t get back down (such a dork omg 😊 )

V comes from a poor family; “I came from a poor family and I never thought I would become famous.” He grew up under a family of farmers and often takes pictures of the farm they own

He revealed in an interview with ‘The Star,’ “[Being an idol is] a lucky chance that will only come once in a lifetime. If I wasn’t in BTS I would probably be a farmer. I’d be pulling out weeds from a farm with my grandmother.” (farmer tae doe can you imagine… :O )

V acted in the Korean drama “Hwarang” (2017-2017) (if you haven’t already watched it, y’all needa do so)

V sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside Jin, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You”.

If he’d get a day off, V wants to see his parents (he’s literally so cute tho omg)

V said the 3 requirements for his happiness are; family, health and honour.

V’s ideal date; “Amusement park. But nearby park is also good. I think that it’ll be nice if holding hands. My ideal is cute dating.”

Other members about V

Rap Mon about V’s cooking; “Honestly, we’d love try it. But V’s cooking is too great, we might end up crying. That’s why up till now we haven’t tried it. If V can roll the seaweed a little better, we will definitely give it a try.”

Jimin about V’s cooking, “We’ll try V’s cooking sooner or later. I just hope, V will stop stealing the food when I’m cooking.”

Jin ranked V as the noisiest member; “First, there’s V. I’m not kidding. He’ll be sitting in the dorms, then suddenly he’ll run around going ‘HO! HO! HO!’. He’s really weird. He’s like a different species. Do you know what he does alone at our house? ‘Jimin, I love you!! Oppa, I can’t! Jimin, I love you!! (Imitate V’s alone conversation). Seriously...”

Jin; “Although he seems weird, I think it’s a concept. He asks before he does something, he’s very detailed.”

Jungkook; “Although he’s a hyung, I have no answer to describe his personality.”

Suga; “Compared to his age he’s immature and isn’t able to become serious. It seems he doesn’t care what others think.”

Jimin; “He has a cheerful personality and really doesn’t notice his surroundings. He likes playing around. He’s innocent.”

His ideal type is someone who takes care of him and love only him and who has a lot of aegyo

Summary; le 4D extra alien who is suuuuuuch a family man which is so adorable is such a soft bean I can’t deal oh god. He’s v v sinful on stage tho so watch out…he’ll pull you in with his cute charms and then BAM hipthrust muthafucka

Okie dokie! Last but not least it’s time for the lil bun bun Maknae Jeon Jungkook {Jungkook, Kook, Kookie, Jungkookie, Bun, Bun Bun, Golden Maknae, Triple Threat, Muscle Pig, Jeon Cena, Ironman, Bunny, Seagull, Justin Seagull, Living Meme, Meme Child, Baby, Jungshook, Nochu

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

He went to Seoul School of Performing Arts and graduated in February 2017

He attended Baek Yang Middle School

He has an older brother named Jeon Jung Hyun

Fave foods = anything with flour (pizza, bread etc)

Fave colours = red, black, and white

He loves playing games, drawing, and soccer (football)

He has a weird habit where he sniffles a lot because of his rhinitis. He also wriggles his fingers a lot

His shoe size (U.S. conversion) is 7.5

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He likes the number 1

Said to be a very skilled cook

He likes shoes and makeup

He dislikes tasteless things, bugs, getting hurt, studying

He speaks Korean, Japanese and English (basic)

In 7th grade Jungkook learned B-boying in a club with some friends and hyungs

He knows Taekwondo (he has a black belt)

Before joining the group, he was a handball player

His favourite weather is a sunny weather with a cool breeze

In 10 years Jungkook wants to be the owner of a duck meat restaurant or a tattooist (fuCKIN TATTOOIST JUNGKOOK THOOOO

In middle school, he went to Superstar K auditions but failed to pass the elimination round

On the way back home, he received offers from eight different entertainment agencies

After randomly seeing and falling in love with future member Rap Monster’s rap, he decided to join Big Hit Entertainment (so cute)

Jungkook’s role model is G-Dragon (BigBang).

His dream, when he was younger, was to become a badminton player.

In the 1st year of High School he listened to G-Dragon’s songs and changed his dream to becoming a singer.

His motto is; “Living without passion is like being dead”.

Jungkook wants to go on trip with his lover someday.

He loves reading comic books.

Jimin says that Jungkook smiles when he swears.

About school subjects, Jungkook dislike everything except Physical Education, Art, and Music Class.

He doesn’t like bugs, but he likes cool bugs like (stag) beetles. He used to have a stage beetle when he was younger, but he didn’t take care of it well, so it died.

He said he usually doesn’t exercise a lot but started working out after seeing Taeyang and Jay Park.

The member who’s most similar to him; “V Hyung. He’s random, our comedic cords match well, and I think our personalities are similar.” (Profile written by Jungkook)

He is friends with GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s DK, Mingyu & The8, and NCT’s Jaehyun (a.k.a. ’97 line).

Jungkook, GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s The8, Mingyu, DK, and NCT’s Jaehyun (the ’97 liners) are in a group chat. (Jungkook and Bambam mentioned the ’97 liner squad in their ‘thanks to’ in their recent albums)

Jungkook’s ideal date; “Walking along the beach in the night.”

Things that he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s knowledge, Suga’s diverse knowledge, J-Hope’s positive mind, Jimin’s persistence and his effort, V’s natural talent and Jin’s wide shoulders.

Other members about Jungkook;

Suga; “Jungkook has a good memory so he can imitate us well. And I remember that when Jungkook first came, he was shorter than me. Seeing him grow taller makes me feel like I’ve raised him.”

Jimin; “I’m 2 years older than him but he keeps making fun of me for my height.”

Jin; “He’s quite bad at refusing requests.”

Rap Monster; “Individualistic, doesn’t share clothes. Washes his clothes separately. A slight timid-ness that’s like a maknae. Although he wants to seem manly, he’s actually a cutie. Although his passion overflows, it doesn’t go on long. Puberty, rebellious, but it seems cute.”

J-Hope; “He’s the maknae who talks backs a lot and doesn’t listen. Although his personality is quite kind… I also have no answer for his personality”

V; “Truthfully, he’s the same as me. I have no answer.”

Suga; “Because he’s the youngest, he’s still immature. However, he clearly shows what he likes and what he dislikes.”

Jimin; “He’s kind, innocent, and is bad at expressing his feelings. That’s why he’s cute. Jeonggukkie’s mine.”

Suga about Jungkook entering High School; “Jeongguk was the most handsome one there.”

V about Jungkook entering High School; “It’s not that the other students were ugly, but JK was most noticeable because he’s tall.”

Ideal type; someone who’s at least 168cm but smaller than him, is a good wife, good at cooking, smart, has pretty legs, and is nice. Also, a girl who likes him and is good at singing.

Summary; he’s a smol, innocent bun who is also a coMPLETE MEME CHILD HOLY FUCK NUGGETS. Hella tall bean with killer thighs and a v v disrespectful attitude on stage…I cri ever-tim ;-; 

OKAY SO THAT’S BTS HAVE FUN WITH THAT INFORMATION GO NUTS, HAVE LE FEELS, BECOME TRASH. LIKE I SAID IN MY NOTES THIS POST JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH OF A PIECE OF TRASH I AM OH GODS... 

{Request anything you want guys}

[spockandawe]

So you’ve heard Spock is the actual literal devil

Have you heard that I’m a terrible person? A plagiarist? Have you been told that I’m only into transformers at all because I wanted to make this one random guy unhappy? If you’ve been told that, you’ve probably also been told that a year and a half later, I’m still making fanworks just to upset him. You might have even heard that shhhh, don’t disagree with Spock on anything, or they’ll hunt you down and harass you.

Right, okay. This is one hell of a saga that I will attempt to tell in as compressed a form as possible. It’s a lot. Years ago, back in HS, there was this one guy who policed the hell out of one of the character tags. I’m going to call him C. He’d pressure people not to make the content they were making, decry the hateful people reading with a malicious eye who thought the character would ever do anything bad (the character was a creep). And because being obnoxious wasn’t bad enough, if you didn’t cave to his demands, he just might do things like start whisper campaigns about how you support rape, casually out you as a survivor, cute little things like that.

This is not a story about that guy.

This is a story about C’s one-time attack dog, eventual boyfriend, and current ex. We’ll go ahead and call him R. I’ve tried real hard to avoid namedropping on my blog before, but could people find him from this? Probably. Have I stopped caring? Absolutely.

TL;DR, unsubstantiated accusations of serial harassment are a little questionable when they’re coming from someone with a years-long, extensively documented history of serial harassment and a personal grudge against me.

Cut for length.

Edit 7/2/2017: R has posted that he regrets making these posts about me, and admits that he said things that were out of line. And he’s stated that he’s going to try to do better in the future. I genuinely, truly appreciate that. I’m leaving this post up because there have been lies about me floating around for a while and I reserve the right to defend myself, but I really do appreciate that.

Oh balls, none of this makes sense without backstory (I’m so sorry)

If you think I suck or my work sucks, that’s fine! You do you, go enjoy the things that make you happy.

If you think I’m the devil because this one guy told you about my evil, evil past and all my terrible misdeeds, without anything at all to back up his words? You can ask me. I don’t bite, and oh lordy do I have receipts.

To be clear, R is totally allowed to hate me! I don't care. I don't care if he hates my writing, I don't care if he hates me as a person. But now he's escalated to spreading lies about me, and people are believing him, and I’m not enough of a doormat to let that just stand.

And I’m going to cheat a little. Here’s a memo with the cliffs notes version (not the original memo, I made a copy with C’s urls cropped out since he hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while). Warning, digging any distance into this turns up violent fantasies, violent sexual fantasies, creepy interactions with a minor, and lots more, it’s all really, really unpleasant. Evidence is thoroughly documented, please tread with care.

You would not believe how truncated that is compared to the reality.

Now, the worst of this came via C. Who has calmed down a lot these days, and I’m really happy that’s the case. Good for him. I hope his life continues in a direction where he doesn’t find it necessary to do this stuff.

Lucky for me, R was standing by to pick up the slack.

It doesn’t show up as much in the memo, which is mostly C-focused, but R was standing by C this whole time, defending his right to spread around private information about someone’s abuse history, sending nasty messages on the other guy’s behalf, and much,much more. it’s long, it’s awful, it’s unpleasant. R personally hurt people in some significant ways that I don’t want to link directly, for their sake. He expressed deep remorse a few times, but it never stuck.

Here’s my personal favorite quote from R. He’s speaking to the CSA survivor that C casually outed (with information given to him in confidence), and who they’d been running a long, long whisper campaign against, and who was understandably a bit upset over the whole thing:

oh go wank to your own tears [name]

#and get your sympathizers to help #nasty fucking people #maybe if you cry enough youll be able to go into second grade in the fall #ooc

Said, again, to a CSA survivor they outed and harassed. That person is such a sweetheart, and this screencap still infuriates me.

The first time I saw C pick a fight he had lots of friends. Shockingly, as he did things like loudly fantasize about how he wants to mutilate people and rant about how autistic people should die, those friends mostly drifted away. I know one person had a friend even help them stage a faux relationship-ending fight, so they could be sure they’d be able to completely cut and run from C. R stuck with him, though. Eventually they even started dating.

‘Spock followed R into transformers to harass him and stalks his favorite characters just to harass him more’

Then, transformers. Here, let me show you the first post (by R) that ever brought MTMTE to my attention. I spent years being aggressively uninterested in transformers, but this caught my eye

and honestly, ppl (adults too!!!) shipping someone who has the mentality of a child and is quite glaringly lacking a world of experiences and general understanding of things outside of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, with an adult, is just. very alarming and gross to me.

and honestly, the fact that there is a large portion of people who want him to become romantically (and sexually!!!) involved with either one of two fucking adults in canon, and hell, esp those defending it with ‘hes an adult too tho!!’ is really gross.

you can pretend all you want that hes ‘an adult’ because his body is, but theres no way jro didnt intent to code him as a child. stop fetishizing children lmao,

#pedophilia -/-/- #cygate -/-/- #if someone comes at me screaming ‘rule 38′ im gonna shove them in a locker

I didn’t know transformers, but I was pretty sure this was some straight-up bullshit.

(but don’t worry, he ships it now! no hypocrisy here, no sir)

It’s “really gross” to ship this adult with other adults. Mm. Given the reasonableness of the claims these guys have made in the past, and given their extensive history of harassing people over those claims, I hopped to the wiki to check it out. I read a bit about the comic and the plot, and all of it sounded so fascinating that I just had to give the comic a try.

Reader, I married it.

I shotgunned MTMTE 1-47 in two days, started doing fanworks right out of the gate, and I’ve never looked back. A lot of my art was cygate, because come on, the comic wants you to ship it so bad, my first readthrough ended with issue 47, and that was the first ship I’d ever read about for the series, even before I dove in.

Now, both these characters punch me right in the heart, in some painfully personal ways. Tailgate’s the more relevant one here, but I don’t even know if I could do justice to the emotions both of them give me.

I’m still not a fan of how R’s lies about me have edged me into needing to say this in public, but okay. I’m developmentally delayed. It’s been a rough ride. And Tailgate hits me in some of those spots so hard it just takes my breath away. I’ve got a lot of baggage over not being a real adult, and not in the funny oh-no-how-do-taxes-work way, more like an extended months-long meltdown my first year of college because I can tell that my friends are years ahead of me and I don’t know how to even start catching up, and just existing, as myself, is humiliating.

All of my relationship milestones have come painfully, painfully late. The whole thing is still one awful emotional bruise. I hate it, and I hate how easy it is to convince myself that yeah, of course you don’t actually deserve to be treated as an adult and you never will. Just look at you. So then it is unbelievably important to me that I can see someone someone who is like me, being treated as a legitimate adult, and being able to have an adult relationship.

Hearing that shipping someone like me is essentially pedophilia is the opposite of that.

But he ships it now, so everything is fine :)

Yeah, you know what? Another fucking receipt.

uGHGH im so tired of all the rabid cy// /gat// //e fans like even cy’s giving em a look like ‘leave my fucking child alone’

#i just #im hoping jro has some taste tho and doesnt make an adult date a child #and if not im hoping the outcome blows over soon bc im so tired of seeing people defend pedophilia #pedophilia -/-/-

Parental.

This continued even after JRO explicitly confirmed Tailgate was an adult.

Bonus ableism: shipping Whirl (another character who hits me way too hard) isn’t okay either. Even though there isn’t the excuse of ‘but he only lived three years--’ No, at that point, you’re saying that an adult who fails to adult correctly does not count, and isn’t allowed to have romantic relationships. It makes my skin crawl, and it is an issue which is very personally and directly important to me.

So some of my cygate was porn from the start (it’s what I write. it’s what I draw.), and some of the porn was made because I was upset over discourse that says someone like me needs to be treated as a child. I played with cywhirlgate too, because omg how could I not, and some of that was porn as well. It was ages ago, so I don’t remember the details for every little thing I made. But when I saw someone saying that Cyclonus and Tailgate had a parental relationship, I’m sure that helped nudge me in that direction. Maybe R thinks I should have channeled my emotions by starting a whisper campaign to exclude him from fandom spaces. But I think my way of working through bad emotions might have been a little healthier than that.

So when R accuses me of making cygate content to spite him? Half true. Just true enough to be real fucking dishonest. R spent a nice long time insisting that cygate was pedophilia. I channeled my outrage over that ableism into fan creations.

I didn’t attack him. I talked about him some – on a private forum, with people who’d already been aware of him and had been watching him and C hurt people for years, plural. I haven’t told people on tumblr any real details about him until now. And R still is happy to talk about how it was his toxic ex’s right to post torture/rape/murder porn vent fic about actual people.

Tell me, how exactly am I in the wrong?

Bonus pettiness: I posted some cywhirlgate porn. The next day, R vaguely whined about robot pedophilia and turned around and wrote some obviously-a-response cywhirlgate. Where it was super platonic and the text explicitly said it was super platonic and it even had platonic thigh nuzzling. With two “children” involved. Of course I turned around and wrote more fic of my own, because jesus h christ that made my skin crawl. You want to play this game? I guarantee I can write faster than you, let’s do this. (he did not follow through on that)

I’d also like to say that forgetting inconvenient little details like this is a thing with R. Hard to call me terrible for writing spitefic when you write it yourself.

A history of Spock’s personal involvement

Let’s backtrack a tiny bit. You may notice I am up to my elbows in this nonsense for no clear reason.

I was friends with some of the people C was taking shots at, and I was unfortunate enough to believe his original smear campaign about that one artist (I’m still ashamed about that). I cared about a number of people C was trying to hurt. I think one or two fanworks of mine upset him, but he already had loads of targets. I kept tabs on him and R, because anxiety is the gift that just keeps giving.

Eventually, C fantasized about wanting to put my former datemate’s hand through a meat grinder (ey wrote a fic that portrayed his fave in a negative light). And R defended his right to do that.

The person he posted about is still feeling the effects of that incident. I’m still feeling the effects of that. And it wasn’t even directed at me, just someone I care deeply about.

R has recently posted that ‘oh my goodness, C sure was awful, remember when he posted this thing about a meat grinder and how unreasonable it was?’ Thanks buddy, glad you noticed, now just go ahead and keep on blaming me for the aftereffects of what your boyfriend did, and what you defended.

After that, it was months before I could properly look away from either of their blogs.

C posted extensively about trying to track down the street address of his ~enemies~ (including the one whose genitals he fantasized about mutilating). He posted about how autistics should die. He had skype chats about wanting to do amateur brain surgery on people. All while posting very often about finding real addresses.

Yeah, it’s more than a year later, and every so often I get a stab of anxiety and have to head off to double check on what these two are up to.

I will repeat that C has been pretty chill lately. He’s got a career he’s aiming for. Good for him, go find success, please don’t slip back into being an internet bully. It’s sad and upsetting to see R echoing some of the early patterns of his ex, and it’s so strange to see me labeled as his own personal enemy.

‘Spock will totally come harass you too’ and/or various accusations of ableism

So there are some things I did in the mix in this history that I regret. Occasionally, I went out and flipped through the blogs of C and R’s friends, seeing if maybe they’d had said something in their notes, did they have any vagueblogs C liked, did they post about— It got unreasonable. I admit that. Anxiety was at the root of it, but it absolutely got unreasonable. And also it is a massive time sink, and I can’t remember the last time I bothered with it. I enjoy life much more when anxiety and paranoia issues don’t have their claws in me. This hasn’t been an issue in a very long time.

I came down hard on some of the kinfeels and system stuff too, which I do walk back a bit. C’s approach was… hahaha. It was something. And he was my intro to the kin and system paradigms. I saw R talking about C’s approach being unreasonable too, pretty recently. So that was an unfortunate bit of poison in how I processed the next people I met who did that sort of thing. I don’t do kin stuff, but I get it. And DID may not strictly apply to all systems, by the formal diagnostic criteria, but I’ve learned there are plenty of other dissociative disorders out there. And I met people who were multiples and who did kin things that weren’t these two guys. Which helped a LOT.

But the big one, hmmm. C wrote a fic. The idea was interesting, but the execution frustrated me. Everyone but the main lead felt so… flat. Everyone was constantly cruel to the main, for no reason. I saw a way to riff on the original text while staying true to its shape, and writing my bad emotions out is also a major, major thing I do to cope. Now, my big thing is that I should have asked before I remixed. I’d been thinking in terms of, y’know, transformative fanworks. Even with authors like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice, who fought against fandom, people have still felt that it should be allowed, even against their wishes. So I wrote the remix. I gave full credit on ao3 in the ‘inspired by’ box, linked to the original with positive words, the whole shebang.

The guy was still furious, and… that’s fair. I thought I’d written a thing on self-sabotage that was pretty sympathetic and compelling, and the self-sabotage actually drew a lot on my own personal history. But I gave the main flaws he strongly disagreed with, and I didn’t ask for permission. I get why he was/is angry over it.

I’ve been a fixture on their shitlists ever since :P

It’s remarkable, even while R posts now about ‘oh my god, remember how C wrote the creepiest things?’, I’m still the one who’s the the actual worst, for being skeeved out by the creepy things and finding a constructive way to deal with it. R’s controlling ex gets full freedom when it comes to vent fic, even when it’s about wallowing in torturing, raping, and murdering an avatar for a real person (the original one they harassed!), or punching someone in the face until they agree to be your friend (another artist these guys targeted). But R’s position seems to be that only C is allowed to vent (even if it’s genital mutilation fantasies), and I’m definitely not.

Oh, and R has now expanded this remix into me totally having a consistent pattern of stealing ideas and plagiarism and so many remixes that are obviously done as revenge on anyone who pisses me off. So that’s nice.

So R hates your writing. Is that seriously why this post exists?

Ha, no. Let’s look at the concrete things R is saying. Here, let me post a little sampling of evidence.

These aren’t just things he’s shouting into the void, people have responded saying wow, I never knew that! These are lies that people are believing about me. And then yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to disagree with my meta, or I’d come harass them. A friend I’m aggressively leaving out of this, just as I’m leaving out other responses, because these people don’t deserve to be dragged into R’s bullshit.

Let’s have bullet points. Some of these are the silly spock-is-bad-at-writing complaints. Those are here because this whole mess is pretty fucking depressing and the ridiculous claims make me laugh, but these are all things he says.

Spock is evil – You know what, he’s not calling people pedophiles, which is a step up. I’ll take it.

Spock is a plagiarist – I remixed one fic with full credit, said only good things about the original, and linked to it in extra places so that people would have extra opportunities to click through and check it out. I arguably remixed inappropriately, but that’s not the same thing. Words have definitions. If I’m a plagiarist, so is everyone who’s ever written a fanfic.

Spock is something something mean when people disagree – I don’t even know, man. I’m actually shockingly conflict-averse. Is this because I make walls of text and explain why I hold opinions at great length? I enjoy talking about a thing I love. I’m autistic, I’m hyperverbal, and this is my special interest, so is it that I talk a lot? That’s the best I can do. I’ve talked about things I disagree with on a private forum, in which case mister pot has had a lot of fun in public on twitter, not only talking shit, but also spreading outright untruths. Maybe he wants to rethink this one.

Spock will come harass you if you disagree – You need to back the heck down, pal.

Spock’s meta/fic/characterization is bad and they should feel bad – Hahaha, fite me. He won’t, because I can articulately defend myself at significant length, and his criticisms seem to stop at ‘spock sucks’, but hey.

Spock used ableist language about Whirl - I... what? This one confuses me and makes me laugh so it stays here. Also, holy double standards, batman.

Spock is only into transformers to harass R – I checked out transformers because I was pretty sure R was being disgustingly ableist (he was). I stayed in transformers because I adore it. I had to adore it a lot to make me willing to share fandom space with these two. My god, I have better things to do with my life than spend all my time on something that bores me just to annoy one asshole on the other side of the internet. I’d ask if he thinks I spent dozens of painstaking hours cross-stitching Starscream just to bother him, but….. yep, pretty sure he does.

Spock goes after all of R’s favorite characters to upset him – R latches on to just about every interesting and/or sympathetic character that shows up. When he was dating C, they covered most of the cast between them. I don’t care who R likes best because I don’t agree with his opinions. I tend to stay away from his opinions because I don’t like reading things that bother me. This is asnine. I’m only allowed to like the characters R despises, I guess.

Spock makes fanworks for things R likes just to make him see them – Oh my god, I don’t caaaaaare. I write about things that interest me, unless I’m venting. Say, venting about the way R and his ex have deliberately hurt a shockingly high number of people I care about. ‘Spock made rodistar because I liked it--’ I made it because I wrote a thing about their parallels, and shipping was the obvious next step. R isn’t that important to me. Promise.

This is just exhausting, man. The anxiety bugs had been dying down, and it had been ages since I checked out this guy’s anything. C, who drove the whole initial blowup that led to this, has been quiet and chill on tumblr. But R has learned from his ex’s old example and has been having fun spreading lies about me.

In conclusion

Some fun history.

R was 18 when he told a CSA survivor upset about being outed and harassed to wank using their tears for lube.

He was older than that when he defended C’s right to post about wanting to mutilate someone’s genitals (for the crime of saying C’s logic didn’t make sense).

He was older than that when he complained about that person’s spouse being ‘vicious’ for reacting badly to C’s genital mutilation fantasy.

He was older than that when he nodded along as C called autistic people retards and said they should die.

He was older than that when he talked about being happy that someone he disliked was triggered, and nodded along when C fantasized about that person drinking bleach.

And he was older than that when he defended C, his twenty-something boyfriend, against the thirteen-year-old that C had been having incredibly inappropriate conversations with, despite skype log proof and everything.

And despite all this, I’m still the bad guy, because I didn’t think what they were doing was okay. I’m the bad guy for being upset by C's actions, even though... R is now upset by C’s actions. The ways I responded to C were inexcusable. My only motivation is to hurt people. Every thing I did that ever upset them still means I’m terrible, even though R is saying this while he’s busy posting about how awful C is. And this all means that he needs to warn his friends not to catch my attention, or I’ll come harass them.

So, I’m tired.

I’m very tired.

I’m glad he’s trying to grow past that history. Good. Maybe he can do that without making up a story about how I’m unrepentant villain who lives for villainy and who only takes joy in causing him pain. I’m sure it helps him, because it’s a story that brushes aside the shit he did that he regrets, and makes his past less painful to think about. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with him telling lies about me.

I don’t know why I’m the one boogeyman he has left (I kid, it’s because I’m in transformers, and because he thinks I’m popular. he harps on it a lot, and it’s weird for everyone). I mean, whatever. I’ve aggressively avoided publishing drama details on here for a very long time. But there are two blog tags, miscellaneous other untagged blog content, three forum threads, and hundreds of pages of skype logs with hard evidence of this bullshit.

I’m pretty sure that if he tries to defend himself, one, he’ll place some blame on his ex. That’s fair. C was pretty darn controlling and demanding. But R is still absolutely responsible for his own actions, and is especially responsible for the harm he personally caused. He’ll talk about how it’s bullshit to pull up all these receipts from so very long ago. In that case, his receipts for me (whatever he even has) are equally old, so aren’t they null and void? No, because Spock is the devil. And it’s not so much bullshit if he’s clearly learned nothing, and has gone back to spreading outright falsehoods about people.

To be clear, a lot of the lies he told about me were told a while back. Weeks to a few months to a year. I was letting it sit, because I’d really, really hoped this was over. Yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to publicly disagree with my meta or I’d come and harass them.

It’s been three years since I first saw him doing this. I’ve watched him hurt a lot of people, and I’ve watched him admit, multiple times, that he has hurt people. I thought he’d learned to stop following these toxic patterns. Apparently he has not.

Edit 7/2/2017: To repeat the edit up above, R has said he regrets posting these things about me, and that he's going to try to avoid slipping into this in the future. I very much appreciate that.

[cosmicpink]

Get to Know the Writer - Tag Game

Rules: Answer the questions below, then tag nine people.

Hello, I got tagged by @Amyowl470, i don't consider myself a writer but this seemed fun to answer so, here i go!

Relationship status: Single! And not really looking for anything at the moment, i feel like i could talk a lot about this, but i’ll just leave it as: It isn't a priority of mine atm. I just don't feel like i have the time for that ^^

Favorite Color:.Black and pink all the way, I love this color combo in clothes, in websites, in decorations… Idk these two colors are very appealing to me *shrug*

Top Three Favorite Ships: I gotta start with Rorschach and Nite owl, DanRor OTP  life bby xD I also really like Eddie brock and the Venom symbiote, or Symbrock I think it's being called, I used to be a lot into the Venom comics, so I ship this for a long time, i'm glad with the movie more people got into it <3 I'm sure I have more ships I like, but I can't really remember right now, maybe Spiderman/Venom? I used to be into it, I haven't read anything of them in a long time tho… I kinda want to mention self ships here, but i’ll leave those secret for now, you’ll have to get to know me to learn them ;)

Lipstick or ChapStick: Can I say none? I don't like wearing makeup, and I never liked the feel of chapstick, idk it makes me uncomfortable :V

Last Song: The Decemberist, Isn't it a lovely night? It's a song I sort of discovered when I let my youtube playlist autoplay for a while, it's a pretty song, makes me kinda sad tho? Gives me a weird feeling of nostalgia.

Last Movie: Aquaman, Its was pretty good, tho I wish it had more focus on the characters, everything seemed to happen so fast… But hey, Arthur and Orm where pretty hot, so I enjoyed that too xD

Last Book: This is a hard one, i haven't read much in a long while, I mean, i’ve read a lot in uni, but I wouldn't count those texts as something enjoyable… I’ll mention “Things fall Apart”, by Chinua Achebe, had to read it in school, and i’ve wanted to re read it because it was so interesting. If my memory is right, its about pre colonial life in the south-eastern part of Nigeria and the arrival of the Europeans during the late nineteenth century, all told from the perspective of the locals, really interesting!

Currently Reading: The disaster Artist, I freaking love Tommy Wiseau movie, The Room, and i’m enjoying way too much reading about its making. I haven't been able to read much because of uni, but i cant way till break to continue reading it <3  

Fanfiction: Oh man, i’ve read too many, and the current ones im reading are al reader inserts so i'm not mentioning them xD But i guess i could mention a few DanRor ones… Tiny Grains of Earth by etherati, its one of my faves, i have read it many times, i remember the first time not being able to stop because i was so into it, i’ll just paste the author's summary: “Rorschach is acting funny, not remembering things how he should, and is just inexplicably different. Dan gets paranoid, and seeks his real partner.” Another one I really like is Letters from Prison by theunknownfate, very sweet, i think i’ve read this one multiple times too, again i’ll just leave the authors summary: “Walter gets arrested, but manages to hide enough of his costume that no one knows he's Rorschach. He's just one of many nobodies in jail and has no choice but to serve out his sentence. With nothing to do and no way to get information, he starts writing his retired partner.”

Tagging: Oh man, the only person i know here already tagged me, so i dont have anyone to tag xD But hey, if anybody reads this and wants to join the fun, please do!

[franeridart]

Hey hey hey, so I've seen your lack of Bokutoo art (or haikyuu art in general) and at first I was going to comment on it, but then I saw your art theft post and I hope that won't have too much influence on your haikyuu art? Of corse I'm gonna let you post whatever you'd like to post, I just miss it a lot y'know :0

Well. Okay, I’ve talked about this a lot but I understand people don’t just read all my answers and it’s totally my fault for procrastinating on that faq page so let me just go through this again in an as clear way as possible?

I haven’t stopped drawing for hq! As a matter of fact in the last week alone I have posted one, two and three things for that fandom for a total of five portraits and a three panels comic

That said I understand with the rhythm I update this blog you might think “well, that isn’t much at all, is it?”, which, again, is my fault because - even though when compared to most art blogs’ update schedules eight drawing in one week is more than enough - I’m the one who set the rhythm here

The “problem” with hq is that all my favorite characters are currently absent from the manga and there’s no anime airing, while at the same time my other main fandom (bnha) has both an interesting arc going on in the manga AND an anime season airing right now - I hope you’ll understand if my interest at the moment is mostly focused there, that’s a continuous stream of inspiration I have coming my way

To add to that some parts of the Haikyuu!! fandom are being unrespectful of what I post (this includes reposting, treating my stuff as if it were templates for their own art instead of ship/character specific content, honestly unrespectful comments and tags under a lot of my main ships posts and so on) which, you’ll excuse me, but dampens the joy I get from posting art a lot

Moreover, the creative side of the hq fandom is being, at least for what concerns the zones I frequent, pretty damn quiet lately, so I can’t say I get much inspiration from there either

I haven’t stopped and I can’t see in my foreseeable future myself stopping posting stuff for haikyuu!!, and all things considered I don’t think I’m posting too little for it either? Art and inspiration aren’t things I want to force, if I started I would stop finding drawing enjoyable really damn fast and I can’t let that happen - please be understanding, I first and foremost draw for myself, I can’t help it if sometimes I get stuck on one fandom or another

Anon said: Have you seen the latest chapter of haikyuu? I like how they are showing more Daishou. It’s fun to see his reactions and thoughts about nationals! And I will love to see him in your art style.

Anon, my friend!!! I have drawn Daishou in the past! As a matter of fact the last one was just after he appeared again in chapter 251! I love that snake boy a lot, seeing him there made me really really happy haha

Anon said:SAEKO NEE-SAAAAANNNNNN

SHE WAS AMAZING WASN’T SHE OH MY G O D !!!

Anon said:Kirishima and/or Bakugou being good at singing. And then gay happens.

BOI ANON I have drawn these boys singing to each other a whole lot already (like here or here) at this point I would assume you guys were fed up with it hahaha (… can’t say I won’t ever have them sing to each other again, though)

Anon said:DADZAWA IS SO REAL! But I’m actually so amused because Izuku is basically Ron Swanson with his “I can do what I want” permit except Aizawa wrote and signed the permit

No no anon it’s even better because Aizawa wasn’t like “you can do what you want” he was like “you can do only what I tell you you can do and it just so happens that I’m deciding that you can do exactly what you want to do but it’s still my decison” it was amazing lmao I love Aizawa so much poor man

Anon said:friendo, whats your opinion on the traitor kaminari theory? it breaks my heart but it has a good backbone to it?? like in the new chapter, theres a character that looks like kaminari’s dad/uncle/older family member and im worried for my electric baby

I still don’t think Kaminari is the traitor - as a matter of fact, I still don’t think the traitor is any of the kids. If that’s how it’ll turn out to be I’ll be sad about it, for sure, but right now I really, really don’t believe it. It’s true that the Kaminari-is-the-traitor theory is very cleverly worded and super convincing, but a lot of the things in it are really stretched out as far as I’m concerned

ie, taking the weird faces Horikoshi makes him make in the sketches and using them as proof that he’s got a double face? Too far out for me; his original design being that of a villain? Deku’s original design was villain-ish too, no one is calling him a traitor; taking the expression he made when Aizawa told him he could go to the camp and making it sound like he didn’t want to go? Might be believable as long as you don’t take into account the fact that he had just had a conversation with Midoriya in which he told him it was impossible Aizawa would let them go and that Midoriya was just being too optimistic, the “what the actual fuck is this” expression makes a lot more sense in that context; the fact that he makes clever quotes and uses a complex vocabulary used to say that he’s pretending to be stupid is unfair towards the very real possibility of him just not liking studying or thinking things through analytically but otherwise enjoying reading and being fairly intelligent in his own way?? - in the theory it’s also mentioned that it’s weird how during USJ he was worried about an electricity villain overcharging him as if that’s not perfectly normal, having an electricity quirk obviously doesn’t stop him from suffering overcharges, and later during the end of term exam they say it’s “weird” he refused to go all out with his qurik from the start, again, as if that weren’t a perfectly sensible decision in that context (you have to keep in mind that Kaminari is also studying to become an hero, him going “wait a second, maybe keeping on going stupid and putting myself out of commission every time I fight isn’t the right choice” is perfectly in line with him growing up and learning)

Now I don’t have the post open in front of me and it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but most of the theory as far as I get it is based on the idea that Kaminari can’t be lazy and an airhead and might talk without thinking now and again (the Stain comment), but at the same time be clever in his own ways, which just isn’t convincing for me. It’s taking this character’s three dimensionality and making it a plot-hole, why would you want to do that

(on a similar note, the Kirishima-is-the-traitor theory doesn’t convince me for the same kind of reason, it’s all based on the idea that he can’t just genuinely like Bakugou for who he is without having second reasons for it, which is just unfair and cuts too much off the personality of a really good, well written character)

As far as the new villain guy goes, I understand why most of the fandom might be weary and linking him to Kaminari, but we don’t know his color scheme nor his quirk and the pattern on his hair isn’t even a lightning bolt - Horikoshi has had to make up unique designs for a whole damn lot of characters, the fact that one random guy might have something similar to Kaminari isn’t really enough to make him his dad (again, it might turn out to be true, but in my opinion it’s still too early to make theories about it). Also, this guy is from the Eight Precepts. Weren’t you all trying to link Kaminari to the League of Villains? Isn’t the traitor supposedly tied with the League? How many people is this boy working for even

By the way, during the USJ attack the villains had informations they couldn’t have gotten from any of the kids aside from Midoriya (the “they told me All Might was getting weaker” comment) and tbh that’s enough for me to not believe any of the student is behind the informations leak, but all of this is just my opinion

Anon said:Your thoughts on mob psycho 100??

LOVE IT  one of the best anime I’ve watched lately, without any doubts

Anon said: Being a bokuroo artist? More like drawing art but every time someone says brOTP, you get steadily more annoyed, lol - love your art, btw; you have a really cute and fluffy style

Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh… sadly you kind of grow used to it but it is incredibly annoying and one of the reasons why I’ve been drawing it less, t b h

Anon said:I love the concept of the bakubowl because unlike with other characters where everyone’s like “omf they’re so cute!!” the bakubowl is just “why is he like this. why do we ALL like him for this ffs”

WELP I don’t ship Bakugou with everyone so I can’t say I’m fond of the idea as a whole, and the ships I do ship Bakugou in are with the people that actually do like him for whatever reason (lmao), but I can understand why you’d find it a fresh take on the concept! 

Anon said:Ily your art gives me life

AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!! *O*

[smurfettte]

💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy