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foreverisntenough · 5 hours

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Extra warning! The end of this chapter touches on mental health struggles and body image issues. It’s a little dark so if that is at all potentially triggering to you please be advised and do not interact.

Chapter 18 - Where Is She | ‘Ours’

You boarded the plane for your flight back to England with Trent, Teddy, and Dianne. It was nice you were able to spend time after the game and get to see your friends but you were also pretty tired. Teddy had just woken up from her afternoon nap when the plane took off. She was so much more communicative now you couldn’t believe it but it was also really fun and exciting to watch her learn so you’d pepper her with silly questions all day and she loved talking. Most of the time it was babbles interspersed with a few words but you could understand what she was getting at.

“Where’s nana sitting, Ted?” You asked her as she stood looking around. Dianne was in a seat facing away from Teddy so it wasn’t inherently obvious. She was able to indicate that she knew exactly what you were talking about. She walked a little bit towards her and then pointed excitedly when she found Dianne. You laughed when she came running back towards you and Trent.

“Mama! Mama!” She was adamant about getting your attention. She tugged on your shirt excitedly despite your focus already being on her. She looked up at you with her big brown eyes, the same ones as Trents. It felt like yesterday she was born and you could remember seeing her for the first time, seeing her striking resemblance to him for the first time. The fact that that same tiny little girl could stand and walk on her own now was insane.

“Yes, baby?” You gently asked her, running your hand over her head careful not to ruin her two pigtails Dianne did this morning. Teddy told you Nana was down at the other end of the plane incredibly enthusiastically.

“Teddy girl, did you find me? You’re so smart. How did you find me?” Dianne cooed, leaning over for Teddy to see her. Teddy giggled proud of herself.

“Dada! Nana!” Teddy pointed at Dianne for Trent to look as well. It was important that Trent saw her amazing discovery.

“Wow! Good girl, Ted.” Trent laughed. “Do you wanna go sit with Nana?” Trent asked her and her face lit up running back down towards Dianne who scooped her up into her lap.

“Come here, you.” Dianne cooed, situating Teddy on her lap. She looked at you and Trent who were exhausted. “So last night was fun?” She asked not having heard about it all day. You just kind of forgot to discuss any further once you were back with Teddy.

“Too fun.” You giggled rolling your head to the side. She smiled and turned back around. Trent pinched your side at the cheek. You weren’t really referring to your dinner or the club, you were talking about your night once you got back to the hotel, that was too fun and you had the markings to prove it. “I love you.” You whispered to Trent before you pressed a soft kiss onto his shoulder.

“Come sit with me.” He smiled and pulled you into his lap. You giggled and cozied up to him giving him another kiss this time to his lips. “I love you so much more.” You rolled your eyes. He wasn’t saying this because he loved you so much more. He did love you but this was to ‘win’ the who loves the other more debate. You tapped at his chest. He smiled again and it made you pout it was so cute. He kissed your hair. You rested our head on his shoulder and Trent reached over you to fix the strap of your top that had fallen. You kissed his arm that was outstretched in front of you while he was fixing it. It was in these silences that you felt you could tell you loved each other more than you ever could put into words. He leaned back into the seat and sighed keeping one arm wrapped around your waist, the other just resting on his thigh. You traced the lines on his rested hand’s palm with your finger and smiled. You wish you could memorize every inch of him down to the pattern of these lines. You laid your palm over his, comparing your hand sizes. Yours being significantly much smaller. You giggled when he collapsed his fingers around yours suddenly. “What are you doing, silly girl?” he whispered.

“I like your hands.” You whispered back to him inspecting his hand that was now laced with yours. The back of your hand was facing upwards so you could see your engagement ring tucked between his fingers. It made you swoon a little when you saw it paired with his hand. You got distracted from your assessment of his hands though when a tiredness continued to wash over you and only grow stronger. You cuddled into him sleepily. You listened to his slow breathing and the hum of the plane lulling you into sleep. Trent followed you or maybe he had gone before you, you weren't sure.

“Your daddy loves your mummy so much. Did you know that?” Dianne cooed seeing you and Trent embraced and asleep. She remembered meeting you and being awestruck by your natural beauty. You weren’t like the other girls that had been around. There was a type of woman that circulated in the football community and she was sure they were all lovely people but there was something about your normalcy that put her at ease. Seeing Trent so affectionate was shocking. He never had the time or never cared to devote his attention to someone the way he did for you. She wondered what it was. What was the draw? Obviously over the years she got to know you and she watched her son fall madly in love with you. What made Dianne smile though was when Trent would share all the reasons he loved you. They were all incredibly insignificant human actions and yet he thought the things you did were ethereal. The way your lips curled with a smile while you took a drink from a glass listening to someone tell a story, the way your nose scrunched when it was too sunny, the way your hand fit perfectly in his, the way you would always fall asleep on him before a film would end. It was the color of your nails, the sound of your voice, the way you smelt. These are things everyone did or had but it was all so very different because it was you. You were what made him fall in love. She looked on as you two fit perfectly together in his seat. It was strange to look at Trent and see her little boy and yet there she was holding his little girl just the same age that she’d always imagined him to be.

“Leaving so soon?” He cheekily asked with a dumb sleepy smile. You shook your head ‘no’ and scooted a little further from him. You woke up with still a bit of time left on the flight. You kissed Trent’s forehead and moved back to your own seat. Your movements initially waking him. You checked your phone for emails and texts, mundane things. When your phone pinged though it was like an alarm bell for Teddy. She noticed that you were finally awake. She was squirming in Dianne’s arms dying to get back to you and Trent.

“Someone has been patiently waiting for mummy and daddy to wake up.” Dianne sang, letting Teddy run down the aisle of the plane. That was a lie. She wasn’t patient at all. She napped for a bit but all she wanted to do was spend time with you two. She loved Dianne but having you in such close proximity but not having your attention drove her nuts.

“Oh thank you for waiting, sweet girl. Want to come sit with me?” You cooed as she eagerly climbed up onto your lap with little grunts of determination. You could’ve helped her but you figured she could do it on her own. She didn’t answer your question verbally but the little girl with her face smushed in your boobs was an answer in itself. You landed, Teddy cried, but you made it home eventually.

“You know that man from Condé Nast emailed me.” You spoke to Trent aloud as you skirted around the kitchen island beginning to make dinner. Teddy was sitting with bright eyes excited watching you pull out all the food letting her try bits of it all for your meal. Trent sat at the island next to her on his phone checking the update from the England team about their upcoming travel details.

“Oh yeah? What’d he say?” Trent asked you sincerely but kept his gaze on his phone. He was reading an email about their departure in a few days time. He needed to get to St. George’s and then they were flying to Norway for a friendly.

“He just asked how I was, you and Teddy as well but really he was asking if I gave any thought to the piece he wants to write. He told me he wants it to be like a full spread. He’s already gotten the green light to run it. He obviously just needs me but… why me? Don't you think he can just use someone else?” You rambled for way too long and Trent was doing his best to follow your train of thought.

“No one is you though. Baby, you’re one of one. Of course he’s interested in you… for an article.” Trent clarified and you gave him a sly smile. “Baby, I think it’d be nice for you. Maybe you should see it out.” Trent finally picked his head up and looked at you encouragingly.

“Maybe…” You turned back to the stove and were quiet for a moment. “Maybe I’ll tell him after the wedding I’ll meet with him and we can go from there.” You told Trent but you also told yourself. You replied to his email later in the night and awaited his reply. He got back to you the next day and was ecstatic in his response. He even sent along his outline of what he wanted to discuss when you met eventually. It was a weird feeling, of feeling confident yet incredibly insecure. You spent days rereading his outline wondering what kind of questions he’d ask under each of the categories and how you would answer them. Trent left to head down south to St. Georges and like you had told Denise in Madrid, you had planned to fly to New York, taking Teddy with you. Teddy didn’t love to travel, mostly the taking off and landing really bothered her. If her ears popped it was a nightmare but she was getting a lot better at it given the frequency at which you were doing it.

“Send her flowers or something that she likes.” You cooed looking into your phone. You were laying in your new Manhattan apartment courtesy of Trent. You had your mum handle a lot of the furnishings like the moldings and painting but now that you were there you finally could decorate it just how you and Trent wanted it to be so that was on your docket as well as wedding appointments for the week. Jude and Trent were together Facetiming you laid on the couch with Teddy cuddled up on your chest.

“I always send her flowers.” Jude responded in a very defeated tone. You watched Trent’s face pull into an adorable smirk trying his very best not to poke fun at Jude for keeping the fact that he had even been sending flowers to Lauren at all in the first place a secret.

“Okay… well sorry? I didn’t know that because you’ve told us nothing!” you teasingly raised your voice at him fulfilling Trent’s desire to joke about this. Teddy rustled on your chest not thrilled with the volume of your voice.

“No mama, shhhh.” Her face crumpled into a very unimpressed but simultaneously very cute pout. Her little hand pulled at the collar of your t-shirt. Trent laughed at Teddy reprimanding you. You kissed her forehead and apologized.

“Laurennnnn” You sang bouncing Teddy on your hip as you shut the front door of her apartment after accepting flowers from the delivery man a few days later.

“What?” She asked you from the kitchen. She thought you just wanted her to listen to you, not come and find you. You settled and walked to the living room where you could see into her open kitchen.

“Are you dating a certain Mr. Jude Bellingham?” You giggled in a mocking tone she didn’t appreciate. She rolled her eyes at your comment before she pulled her head out from the refrigerator after getting herself a seltzer water.

“What?” She said preemptive to looking at you. Her face fell into a pout quickly seeing you holding a gorgeous floral arrangement. “Oh… Those are pretty. Are they from…” She paused like she didn’t want to say his name. She was so hesitant. So un-Lauren.

“Your boyfrrienddd!?!??!” You cooed cheekily, bouncing Teddy more who was loving your excitement. She clapped. You imagine she probably thought you guys were celebrating something and to a degree you should’ve been.

“Y/N...” Lauren dragged out your name silently asking you to not make a big deal. You threw your head to the side with a scoff. You were annoyed. How much more did she want from him? Lauren told you about their conversation in the club and about the evening they had following it but she said they kind of just proceeded as normal after that. Jude dropped her off at the airport's departures a couple of days after the match and kissed her goodbye. That was that. She didn’t know what they were referring to each other as now. She didn’t know if dating meant they could see other people and she didn't want to ask. Lauren couldn’t suppress her smile though as she took the flowers out of your hand and brought them to her kitchen table. She plucked the card tucked in them and bent over leaning her forearms on to the surface to read it. She shut her eyes in a blissful way and ran her one hand over her face bashfully. Naturally you were curious what elicited such a reaction. You walked over and snatched the card from her in the same way she did to you years ago in your own apartment when Trent had sent you something.

‘I want to take my girlfriend on holiday this summer. Let me know what she says xx JB’

“So what are you going to tell JB, huh?” You hummed inquisitively to her emphasizing the nickname you'd never heard before. Okay, it was very cute. Her response was merited and you understood why she was so smitten reading it. You handed her back the card.

“It’s just what I put his contact as in my phone as when we first met on the holiday in Greece. I didn’t want to be weirded out texting that name or someone steal my phone and get his information. I don't know, it was stupid really but it became a joke between us and stuck.” Lauren kept trying to explain something she didn’t need to but you figured that was enough of the teasing. You were surprised that she had been so considerate or aware about keeping Jude ‘safe’ if someone were to find her phone. The fact that she was even thinking about that so early on made you think that maybe she had much more than a lustful crush to begin with.

“Laur, it’s really sweet. I like it. You should call him, maybe. I’m sure they’re doing nothing right now.” You cooed with a soft smile. This was really good for her. You didn’t want to deter her from pursuing it. You were texting Trent about something not pertaining to this but you knew the boys were sitting around doing nothing at the England camp.

“So you know they’re doing nothing clearly…” Lauren looked at you with a smug knowing look calling you out.

“I do!” You giggled, finding it a little funny. “I didn’t do anything else though! Note, flowers, etc.. all JB.” You smiled and as much as she didn’t want to, Lauren smiled back. “And Laur, he’s so prettyyyyy.” You cooed with a pout.

“He is really pretty.” Her smile only growing. She laughed and shook her head walking away from you and Teddy. “Stay down here for a second.” She instructed you before she ran upstairs to her lofted bedroom. You could obviously only hear her end of the conversation but that was enough to keep you intrigued. You sat on the bottom of the steps with Teddy ready to listen intently.

“Hi… No, thank you… yeah, it was really sweet… your girlfriend said you need to do less but she’d want to go.” Lauren giggled. You’d seen her with Jude before, of course, plenty of times but it was always in really high energy places. At matches, clubs, parties, or around a ton of other people, especially other guys, it wasn’t a true reflection of them. Hearing Lauren’s voice go so soft and calm almost made you want to cry. You couldn’t believe they had kept this so low key. There was so much emotion behind her words. You were eager to ask Trent if he knew how much was going on. He would’ve told you if he did but you couldn’t believe how comfortable she was on the phone. “I wish I could kiss you…” Your ears perked up again. She sounded so… loving. “Yeah, can’t wait to see you in two weeks… No, tell your mum I’ll send her the one I like, she’ll like it better…. Okay, bye JB.” She hung up and you heard her lay back flat onto her mattress. Jude had promised he’d ask Lauren to be his girlfriend in person officially but this was pretty cute and Lauren was infatuated. You ran up the stairs giddy with a silly smile eliciting lots of giggles from Teddy.

“What’s so funny cutie girl, huh?” Lauren cooed with a smile that was on her face you’d rarely see. She was beaming and it wasn’t caused by the little girl she grabbed out of your arms. You looked at her smug. “We’re not doing the approach you did. I want nothing, no one can know I exist in his world.” Lauren clarified to you without you even asking a question.

“Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.” You laughed, shaking your head. Lauren laughed as well she knew it was farfetched especially considering the scale of Jude’s fame but she’d do her best. She collapsed into your lap bringing Teddy with her. She kissed Teddy’s cheek again and again. Teddy calling out ‘mama’ on repeat muddied in giggles for you to save her from Lauren’s kisses.

“Oh my god! We can go to the world cupppppop together!!” You squealed excitedly about your revelation. As much as you loved going to the England games with Trent’s family, going with Lauren sounded like a lot of fun especially on quite literally the world's biggest stage. The next world cup was next year and now that Lauren was with Jude that would make it that much better.

“Isn’t that like treachery against the US?” Lauren joked with a coy smile.

“Oh shut up! Also, I’m a dual citizen, so are you, you're not English but nevertheless a dual citizen.” You attempted to rationalize supporting England in an international tournament with a very poor argument.

“That doesn’t make me want to support England?” Lauren rebutted pretty fairly. She had no ties to England. Her parents were French so if anything she was going to support their native country but that wasn't really the point of your comments to begin with.

“You don’t want to support…” you paused. “Your boyfriennddd?” You cheekily sang squeezing her side. You both let out an embarrassingly childish giggle as if this was the first time either of you were talking to a boy. Teddy was thrilled with the laughter. She laid on her tummy kicking her legs joining the giggles.

“What the fuck!' Lauren whined then frantically covering Teddy's ears to prevent her from hearing Lauren's curse words. "You did this to me! This is so embarrassing. I’m down so bad.” Lauren laughed a little more covering her face with her hands embarrassed she had become so smitten by Jude. “You introduced us, you bitch! When he breaks my heart it'll be your fault.” You rolled your eyes. Jude was not going to hurt her, even if things were to fizzle out he was way too nice of a person to let it be messy. Lauren got a text from him and her phone screen glowed facing upward on her bed..

“Wait… Lauren he’s your fucking background!?!? You loser! Obviously this man’s your boyfriend. Who puts anyone but their significant other as their background like this! Oh my days!” You screamed at her. It was ridiculous she tried to play this off as long as she had and even more ridiculous she had gotten away with it. Your long distance relationship with her aiding and abetting her secrecy but it was out now and they were together now.

You returned back home after your trip to the US and Trent did the same from international duty. You were so relieved to be back together. It often felt like your world stopped turning when you were apart. You talked constantly when you could but just being so physically distant was horrible. He came home early in the evening and you put Teddy down for sleep together. She was a little fussy wanting to stay up to be with him but eventually she couldn’t fight her own tiredness and she was out like a light. Trent stood behind you at the doorway of her room with his hands wrapped low around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder pressing his lips against your neck softly and slowly repeatedly.

“You know, the past week all it’s been is ‘daddy, daddy, daddy.’ She missed you so much, T.” You cooed, turning around to face him. You cupped his cheek and looked deep into his eyes.

“Yeah? And what about mummy? Mummy miss me?” He asked cheekily, ghosting his lips over yours. His hands dropping lower off the small of your back down to your ass.

“Yeah, missed daddy so much.” You draped your arms over his shoulders and hummed as he pulled you gently out of your daughter's doorway. Trent’s lips moved back to your neck. Slowly he dragged his tongue over your skin. The smell of him was completely intoxicating. “T…” You attempted to stifle a moan when he began to nibble on the most sensitive part of your neck. He picked you up and brought you into your bedroom. He shut the door and he laid you onto the mattress. You giggled as you bounced slightly from the force of the drop. He crawled over you beginning to kiss you again before he pulled away.

“Who did you miss? Tell me.” He commanded as his big hands dragged the material of your shirt up revealing your bra. He pulled the cups of your bra down letting your tits fall out. Your nipples quickly hardening as he began to play with them.

“Daddy.” You giggled initially jokingly but your voice transitioned fast into a moaned when he began to nibble on your earlobe and massage your tits slowly.

“Yeah? You want daddy to take care of you?” He whispered with a conniving grin, grinding on top of you. You couldn’t believe this man had you like this. Begging for daddy? Who were you? Well, you were his. You were his and you loved every second of this.

“I think you do, baby.” He cooed, moving his kisses from your ear to your neck, across your jaw, over to your lips. “I think you like it when I come home and have you like this. You pretend you don’t like saying it but I think it gets you off, hmm?” Do you get turned on calling me daddy?” He mocked you with an incredibly and unfairly handsome face. You two were kidding around with the whole 'daddy' thing but also if you were being honest... it kind of did. You shook your head definitely and unconvincingly, unable to keep a sly smile at bay. He reached between your two bodies beginning to play with your clit. Your arousal was dripping and you couldn’t stop yourself from pushing your hips up into his hand desperately. He pulled back and sat on his heels in front of you. He pulled his shirt off over his head and you felt yourself somehow manage to get even more wet than before. You reached forward greedily towards him grabbing at his sweatpants. “Nah, nah, nah, baby. I’m in charge here, you know that.” He smiled at you. He slinked off his sweats before he pinned both of your hands above your head with his one hand. Your heart faltered, excited he was in this kind of mood. You loved when he took control. Trent slapped his cock against your entrance a few times. His cock covered with your slick. He dragged his length through your folds before he slowly pushed inside of you. You gripped his hand above you holding yours.

“Fuck, T…” You whined, not exactly ready to be stretched so suddenly by him. It was the perfect type of pleasurable pain though. He began to thrust into you slow giving you some time to adjust but not nearly enough. “Oh my god, you feel so good.” You squirmed under him, wiggling your hands to try to break out of his hold. You needed to cover your mouth. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to be quiet and you didn’t want to wake Teddy.

“I fucking needed you, baby.” He grunted. “Needed you so bad all day.” Every push and pull of his cock made you reel in pleasure. He reminded you with every thrust you were his. Trent wanted to fuck you all night but with the way your pussy was tightening around him he knew he wouldn’t last all that long. He bent over and latched onto one of your nipples. He licked and sucked them, finally dropping the grip of his hands from above your head. You moaned when he let that hand drop between you again and his fingers returned to your clit. “Can you cum f’me, baby? Cum f’me, beautiful.” He asked you and almost like magic, you felt your high crash over you like a tidal wave. Every inch of you lit up. You snatched your hand down in an attempt to cover your mouth and muffle your whines. Trent continued to thrust into you relentlessly extending the pleasure.

“Oh T…” you whimpered coming down. The way you said his name made the impossible possible. His cock even harder than before. The aftershocks of your orgasm lingering building a damn of tears on your lash line. “I love you so much. Please cum inside me, baby.” You begged him and his eyes lit up, his perfect pout slightly agape, his skin shiny with a sheen of sweat. He was absolutely drool worthy fucking you into oblivion. You gripped his hair desperately wanting more of the way his length perfectly hit deep inside you again and again.

“You have no idea how much I love you, baby. Gonna cum, yeah? Cum with me.” He muffled against your skin leaving kisses along your jawline. “Cum f’me one more time.” He asked you before he pressed his forehead against yours and you felt him release inside you. He carried on fucking you, continuing through the length of his high. The sounds of his cock pumping in and out of your soaked pussy leaking of his cum was all incredibly lewd. Your own orgasm quickly following feeling him throb inside of you. It was blinding white and completely and utterly addictive.

“Mmmm, my baby.” You giggled out of breath feeling his weight crush you as he laid on top of you before he pulled out and collapsed over to the side of you. You watched his chest rise and fall before crawling back over to him. Needing to be closer once again fully satisfied. You giggled kissing his neck. “That was good, daddy.” You teased him.

“Alright, enough…” he laughed at you pulling you into him a little more and dragging the now crumpled sheets back over the two of you. He cheekily whispered to you why you couldn’t call him that for a little while.

“All mine, forever.” You cooed pressing a final kiss to his lips before you fell asleep completely worn out on his chest.

It was late April and very sweetly Winnie had organized a Bridal shower for you in Liverpool. She, Lauren and your mum all flew over. A few of your aunts as well. Dianne, of course and some of her friends. A couple of other wags from the Liverpool and England teams were invited. It was small but still sizable. Maybe it was a family thing but Winnie had a knack for throwing parties. I guess maybe all three of you did; your mum, Winnie, and yourself. It was gorgeous. It was all very boho but girlie. A brunch in your back garden. Winnie captured the whole scene on her film camera and you were already so excited to see those photos. Photography was Winnie’s life. She worked as a model when she was around 17 till a couple years ago when she met someone who introduced her to it as a possible career and then she studied it at university. She was really talented but frankly, you think she liked the power it gave her holding onto all these memories to develop and dole out. At the end of the lovely brunch Winnie had gotten cupcakes that were perfectly delicious as they were beautiful. Of course, you had to let Teddy have a few bites of yours at the party. She was insistent.

“Mama, yum!” She looked at your greedily eating it. You weren’t sure though if she ate it or just mushed it around but either way it made her happy. When you got home though she was begging for more. You gave her a tiny bit more, you were a sucker and she had you wrapped around her tiny little finger but regardless she devoured it. Icing everywhere, naturally. You were itching for her to be finished so you could clean up the mess she was making in your kitchen.

“Can you come here, baby, please?” You cooed, turning around to look at Teddy. She was able to climb on and off chairs without help now so you thought it was important to ask her to do these things on her own. She had a very happy smile on her face but it was paired with very very sticky hands from all the icing. She ran towards you, hands out eager for a hug. “Wait, wait, wait, Ted!” You giggled. “Come here, let me wash your hands first then I’ll give you the biggest cuddle, yeah?”

“Mama, wash pleabs!” she stretched her arms up to you. You picked her up and held her out to watch her hands over the sink. You were wearing a white linen corseted maxi dress with flower detailing. It was gorgeous in your opinion but definitely something you didn’t exactly want Teddy’s very cute, yet very grubby hands on. You hadn’t had a chance to change from the shower yet.

“Wow, am I lucky or what?” Trent cooed coming home from training into the kitchen to see you holding Teddy. The way you were bent over the sink holding her was a sight. The corseted top of the dress had your tits practically spilling out. Since having Teddy your boobs were bigger to say the least and Trent wasn’t exactly complaining.

“Hiii baby.” You sang seeing him coming in. He came over and took Teddy from you now enjoying the fruits of your labor with her newly clean hands. Her palms grabbing at his face eagerly pushing her lips out awaiting her kiss from her daddy.

“Gimme a big kiss, Ted. Mwah! Did you know you have the most beautiful mummy ever?” You swatted at Trent dismissing his silly comment.

“My mama!” Teddy cooed, reaching back out to you in his arms. The more she talked the more she liked to tell you how you and Trent were hers. Her mummy and daddy and every single time without fail it made you just want to squish her in the tightest possible hug loving that she was all yours. It got late so you laid Teddy down for sleep. Marcel and George came over to watch a series, Trent and they had started the other week in the cinema. You came in later on. Frankly, you had no interest in the show they were watching but you wanted a cuddle with Trent. You snuck into the dark room half way into an episode and slinked onto the couch Trent was on cozying up to him. He didn’t say anything. He just kissed your hair and situated the blanket he was under over both of you. After about one full episode you were falling asleep on him.

“Why don’t you go upstairs to bed, baby? I’ll be up in a little.” Trent quietly whispered to you, running his hand over your head. You shook your head ‘no’ not very keen on leaving your very comfortable position right now. “Okay, so you just want me to carry you up when I go?” Trent let out a silent breathy laugh. You cuddled further into him adamant that you were not going to move and your silence was his answer. Yes, he was going to have to do just that. As you fell further into sleep you pawed at his chest letting out a sleepy whine of his name. He smiled and peeked around to see if Marcel or George had noticed or heard your whimper. Neither had. The show was quite loud and Trent was amazed you were even able to sleep in the noise. “I’m right here, baby.” He coddled you pulling you tighter to him pressing a kiss to your forehead. Two episodes in and a few bickering conversations between the boys later, you were fast asleep.

“Daddy...” You let out a quiet mumble in your sleep. If there wasn’t a lull in the dialogue of the show they were watching Marcel and George probably wouldn’t have heard you. Trent smiled looking down at you, assuming this was the same as earlier. You were talking in your sleep thinking about the father of your daughter not in an overtly sexy way but that didn’t matter to the other boys. It was still being said and they still heard it. Trent thought it was endearing, they did not.

“Oh my days, bro… No… we’re not doing this.” George snapped his head to look back towards you two. Marcel of course quickly followed. Hearing your brother or friend being called daddy when their child wasn’t around definitely was a little jarring and probably merited the response Trent received.

“I swear to god I’m not touching her!” Trent quipped quickly coming to defend himself. George would never let go of the blanket cinema incident and hearing you whine ‘daddy’ behind him in the dark room was not something he wanted. Trent held his hands up in innocence. The boys didn’t care, they were not in the mood to put up with you and Trent’s nonsense while they were trying to watch a show. They eventually just mocked Trent for a good long while until they had to rewind the show after missing some key plot point but they moved on, they watched another episode, George headed home, and Marcel opted to sleep over. Trent carried you upstairs when he finally decided to get to bed. He held you in his arms but he felt a weird sense of sadness wash over him when he picked you up. You looked frail. He knew you were taking a lot better care of yourself since you had the fight after Teddy had been born but it wasn’t lost on him how thin you had gotten. He could always pick you up easily, that wasn’t really it. It was the way you were wearing yourself down. The stress of the wedding and Teddy maybe was just getting too much. His eyes narrowed, laying your sleeping frame down in your bed. He was worried but you said you were fine, you had been acting fine, you’d been eating fine. He told himself you were fine but he promised himself he was going to keep an extra close eye on you, noticing it so clearly now.

Winnie came back to England to stay with you a month or so later for the week ahead of the FA Cup final. It was almost the end of another season. This one seemed to fly by. Each game nestled between the wedding planning and your growing baby's milestones. Each match week buzzed by without a thought. Liverpool was set to finish 3rd in the League which was fine, not ideal, but they qualified for Champions League next season. Back in early March they had won the Carabao Cup but they really wanted a 2nd trophy so the FA Cup had become more important than you initially had thought. The final was down at Wembley in London and Jadon had planned to meet you there. It was a little bit of a double edged sword for him having his season basically over now knocked out of all his club’s other tournaments only with league play left but he figured he’d come home to London and see Winnie and simultaneously catch the game with you all.

“Mama, up!” Teddy yelled for you standing in your kitchen with Winnie. She was so vocal now even if she was being a bit demanding it was still pretty cute to see her becoming her own person, developing her personality.

“Okay! Okay! Needy girl. Goodness.” You laughed, picking her up and placing her on your hip.

“What’s that?” She asked you curiously. Pointing repeatedly at a box of biscuits you had recently bought from the store till you answered her. She definitely could comprehend more words than she could say and she needed to know about everything. To say she was curious was an understatement. She would just point repeatedly at something until you named it for her. She’d file all the information you’d tell her away for later. ‘Nngh.” Teddy grunted trying to reach for a biscuit on the counter. “Biscuit, mama!” she begged looking at you like you were somehow wronging her for not already giving one to her.

“Yeah? You want a biscuit, huh? Hungry girl.” You cooed. You gave her a small piece placing her back down and told her to sit while she ate it. You had to get on your way down to Wembley soon and needed to drop Teddy off at Dianne’s which was always going to be a little bit of an ordeal. She was well behaved and listened well but being away from both mummy and daddy was not exactly her favorite thing, no matter how much she loved her nana.

“Can we show Win where your shoes are?” You asked her excitedly after she finished eating. Teddy knew right where her shoes were in the mudroom. She scampered off echoing your excitement giggling with a squeal. She went to go and grab them when you asked her to, picking up her tiny little samba trainers and running back to Winnie eager to show her just how smart she was. Winnie naturally gassing Teddy up about how amazing she was for doing so, helping her put her shoes on. Trent had gone earlier the day to London with the team to prepare for the competition. To Winnie’s delight, Jadon had planned a night out for them and invited you along. You agreed to go to dinner without thinking much of it. Dianne wasn’t traveling for the game so she had offered to take Teddy for the night. It was meant to be a fun time, it was meant to be a good time, it was meant to be a night out before you watched your fiance win another trophy. After a tearful goodbye to Teddy, you and Winnie got on your way. You had a great dinner with Jadon and Winnie at a chic restaurant tucked away at a table in the back. It was really nice. You got to know Jadon a bit more, taking mental notes on what you were going to report back to Trent about their relationship. You and Winnie probably drank too much. Okay, in retrospect, you drank way too much. A friend of Jadon’s texted him that they had a table at a club nearby in Shoreditch about half way through your dinner. At that point you had a bottle of wine, maybe two, you can’t remember but you didn’t have Teddy, Trent was already off to bed ahead of the match, it couldn’t hurt to have a night out with your sister and whatever Jadon was to her. Then you found yourself surrounded by people your age living completely different lives. The club was dark. It was body to body yet you felt completely alone. You were planning to walk down the aisle and teaching your daughter how to talk and here everyone around you was talking about who was fucking who in the bathroom.

“Yo, this your new bird, Sanch?” One boy asked eyes narrowing on Winnie’s frame. She was in leather pants and a black tank top with no bra. Her waist impossibly small. She looked good. Winnie always looked good.

“Yeah she’s with me.” Jadon confirm content and a bit smug with the way Winnie looked and the fact that she was with him.

“That bird's leng, mate, who is that with her?” Another friend asked him, eyeing up you as Winnie whispered in your ear.

“Nah, mate. She’s spoken for. That’s Trent Alexander-Arnold’s gal.” The friends Jadon was speaking to eyes widened as they processed who you were. You were in a black bralette and cargo pants. The lights from the club illuminating the rise of your highlighted collarbones and shoulder blades. You laughed at something Winnie said but went quiet quickly after she told you she was going to talk to Jadon. She draped her arms around his shoulders, her lips quick to find his neck. You felt silly feeling so alone when she left. Your phone pinged again and again but you couldn’t clear your vision enough to read it. Trent texting you again and again.

‘Y/N, where are you? Did you make it back to the hotel?’ 'Baby, can you please answer... Just trying to make sure you're okay.'

You had said goodnight to Trent before your entrees at dinner had even arrived. He tried to sleep, he really did but he couldn’t knowing you were out and weren’t responding. It wasn’t like you. The thought of you out in London being the caliber of drunk where you were not responding to him was making him sick. And just like that, your phone died and your location disappeared off his find my friends app. The table you were at probably wasn’t a scene you should’ve been in but you couldn’t pull yourself out of it. Winnie and Jadon were tangled up somewhere else in the roped off area and would check in sporadically but you didn’t even know where you were. This wasn’t smart, you were a mum. It kept ringing in your head again and again. ‘You are a mum.'

“Erm… Yeah, Hi… can you get away from her? Thank youuu.” Winnie cooed with a slight drag of her words physically moving a man away from you. You were slumped on a velvety couch surveying over the crowds of people in the club. The masses blurring together. You hadn’t even noticed the fourth man of the night trying to talk to you. “Y/N, you need to get back to the hotel…” Winnie cooed softly in your ear grabbing at your arm,

“Win, I’m fine.” You slurred. Jadon came up behind Winnie and looked at you. He had deterred the first three men of the night. Men would come up with propositions and drinks in hand sitting next to you. Far too close for anyone’s liking including your own. You’d told the first one you were taken, the second you told you had a baby, by the third you couldn’t see straight, you weren’t sure what was said.

“Y/N, babe, maybe let’s get some water or something and get you back home, yeah?” Jadon leaned over and brushed some of your hair off your shoulder. You looked at both of them slightly confused why they were so concerned. You stood up on wobbly legs. Winnie kept hold of your arm to try to steady you.

“Where are you going? Let me go with you.” Winnie cooed trying to talk to you but you were the type of drunk that you couldn’t hear and you could barely see. Light's were on... nobody was home. You said nothing and just went off to the bathroom. Winnie looked at Jadon concerned but he tried to reassure her everything was okay. You all were drunk, it was hard for anyone to have a clear head at this point. This was a mess. The sound of the club's music and bass was shaking your entire body. It didn’t take much for you to get drunk but you were completely gone. You thought you knew where you were going, the route to the bathroom but suddenly you found yourself outside practically gasping for air. You started crying unable to catch your breath. You looked down at your body and felt sick. You were completely alone yet surrounded by the millions of people in the city of London. You got sick in front of yourself narrowly avoiding your heels. Winnie called and called your phone but it was dead, she couldn't reach you. It was then she began to panic. Why didn’t she go with you? You slid your back down the exposed brick wall outside. You could feel the cement filling between each brick drag on your skin peeling your skin. You were balling your eyes out. You had no gauge of where you were. You went from your sister holding your arm to standing outside shivering confused, hating yourself not only for every decision you made tonight, but every poor one you made in your entire life. You leaned your head back onto the wall and closed your eyes. Tears still managing to seep out. It wasn’t until a black cab stopped in front of you out on the street that you snapped back to reality, barely. You had no idea how long you were outside alone for. An older man rolled down his car window. He looked like the typical cabbie.

“Hun, you alright? Can I bring you somewhere?” He cooed softly in the loud city night. You picked your head up and locked eyes with him. This was a 50/50. This could be a guardian angel or an incredibly dangerous situation. You were a mum! Yet here you were climbing into the back of a cab. You didn’t give him much. You muffled out ‘Four Seasons’ to him thankfully remembering that was where you were staying in between fits of tears. He peppered you with questions trying to get more information about which one, were you okay, all sorts of things. None of which you were able to answer. He helped you out of the cab arriving at what the man had hoped to be the correct location. You nodded your head. He wrapped his arm around you to support you as you steadied yourself in your heels. In any other state you would probably have been skeeved out but at the moment you just wanted to disappear.

“Where is she? I haven’t heard from her, Win. Where are you?” Trent frantically asked Winnie pacing in his hotel room as the night rolled into the morning.

“She went back to her hotel. I’m still out with Jay. I’ll text her but I bet she’s already asleep, T. Which by the way you should be too! Don’t worry, okay?” Winnie cooed with tears beginning to fill her lash line. She feigned a confidence and comfort she couldn’t have felt further from. She felt sick. Why did she just lie to Trent? She knew she shouldn’t have but she didn’t know what else to do. She was past the point of panic. She collapsed into Jadon crying. “Why did I let her go? You don’t understand. She shouldn’t be alone.” Winnie cried as Jadon dragged her out of the club taken aback by the shift in their night.

“Win, she’s alright. She went home. We’ll go to her hotel right now. Promise, she’s a big girl. She’s fine. Probably just felt sick and booked it.” Jadon tried to calm her down but it really wasn’t going to help.

“Jay… you don’t get it. She’s… She’s not okay, alright?” Winnie began to cry more. Jadon’s eyes narrowed confused what was happening here. He wouldn’t have let the night get as rowdy as it had if someone told him something was off. If Winnie or Trent or you even had given him any indication prior to this very moment that you maybe weren’t the healthiest at the moment. “She just has a hard time. She doesn’t exactly have the best health and things can get really bad if she drinks too much. God! I’m so fucking stupid. I know better than this. I need to find her.” Winnie balled her fists and shut her eyes tight.

“What you saying? Health? In what way?” Jadon asked Winnie whilst ordering them an uber. Winnie ran her hands over her face flustered. As drunk as she was, as much as she liked and trusted Jadon, unloading her family's past and trauma on him felt like a lot to do in the current moment. She didn’t know where to even begin to be fair.

Hours went by and Trent couldn’t sleep. Where were you? Were you with someone else? You weren’t, you had some strange cabbie drop you back at the hotel and that was it but he didn't know that. Honestly, you barely even knew that was what was happening. Thank god, frankly. In some fashion or another you made it back up to your hotel room. It took you about 20 minutes to even get the door open with your key card but you did it. You were hysterical curled up in the bathtub of the shower. You were shaking and crying uncontrollably. In retrospect you had no idea what came over you. It was like suddenly you were 18 wishing you never existed. Like you had never met Trent, like Teddy was never born. You felt disgusting and worthless. All you wanted was to vanish off the face of the earth. You hated yourself for a million different reasons. So that was it. That was your night until it was morning and Winnie was pounding on your hotel room door frantically.

“Y/N what the actual fuck!” She screamed. “What the fuck?” She was fuming. Your neck hurt so fucking bad from passing out in the bathtub, your eyes were almost swollen shut from all the tears.

“Honestly… We have to talk about last night but we need to go right now because your fucking fiancé has a game you’re supposed to be at… Jesus Y/N what the fuck.” She yelled at your seething.

“Win…” You whimpered out, beginning to start to cry again. You slid down the wall of the entryway of your room feeling the hotel wallpaper against your back stinging the scratches left by the brick wall from last night. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore.

“Y/N… what’s going on?” She cooed sympathetically. The way she looked at you made you feel like you were little girls again. Like you were in your house in the hallway between your bedrooms.

“I can’t do it. I’m a bad mum. I’m not cut out for this. It’s too much.” You looked at her pleading for help. You felt desperate. You felt defeated. It was like the last shot of liquor opened a channel in your brain you had been trying for ages to close and suddenly it was thrashed open.

“It’s not. You’re doing great. Please.” She looked at you with so much pity. Winnie had heard you say that before. She remembered being 16 and hearing you cry in your bedroom. ‘It was all too much’ It was customary in your family to ignore things like this. To put on a brave face and never let anyone know, much less anyone know that you weren’t perfect the way your mum had wanted you to be perceived in society. It wasn’t lost on people closest to you the trajectory of your life in the last few years might've been difficult. You’d made a valiant effort before meeting Trent to avoid the public eye. It was a lot of pressure on you but when you met him, you’d do anything for him and it worried Winnie if she was being honest.

“I can’t be in this body anymore, Winnie.” You had felt this way your entire life but suddenly under the lights of a London club it flooded your mind in a way you hadn’t had a moment to consider in the chaos since becoming a mum. You weren’t good enough to be with Trent, You weren’t good enough to be Teddy’s mum. You weren’t good enough. You needed to escape. To describe this as a panic attack wouldn’t have done it justice. You were manic. Trent had the ability to pacify you. You’d never felt healthier than you did in the last few years with him and yet after you had Teddy it was like someone flicked a switch off in your brain.

“Y/N, I know. I know, it’s really hard. I know life hasn’t been easy on you. It’s been really fucking heavy but you do not have an option here. You are here with me. You cannot fucking leave me. You promised me, Y/N.” Winnie’s eyes welled up. “You promised you’d never leave me. You can’t leave your baby, you can’t leave T… God, T.. I lied last night, Y/N. We don’t lie to him. Where did you go? I was so worried.” She began to babble tears rolling down her face as she paced in front of you. “Y/N, please! I can’t go through this again. I’ve almost lost you before please god please don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to Teddy.” Winnie cried, dropping in front of you. She remembered being 16 and you promised her you would be okay and then she remembered being 18 getting a call from Lauren confirming the exact opposite. She grabbed your arm, being able to wrap her hand around your bicep entirely. She felt sick.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 18 xx

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #oursfic #trent alexander arnold smut

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massivedrickhead · 22 hours

Note

Could you do something for “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”? Maybe as a follow-up or prequel or something to the prompt you did for “I’m not going to yell at you”? Thanks in advance! 🩵

First off, I'm so sorry this took so long! Usually when I go this long without posting any new fics it's because I'm working on something but I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've written anything in the last month.

I've had probably the worst writers' block I can ever remember having and I've just not felt any desire to write anything or work on any of my wips.

I don't even know if this is any good, but I'm hoping it'll pull me out of the slump.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Prompt taken from here

Trigger warning: physical domestic abuse

This is a prequel to this fic

Read on AO3

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Chloe didn’t believe him.

She swallowed, the pain radiating from her mouth as she forced a steadying breath through her nose.

She knew her lip was bust. She could taste the blood in her mouth, could feel the sting when she swept her tongue across it.

“Chloe.”

Chicago knelt in front of her. His eyes were full of tears, one of his hands cradling the other as if he’d hurt it when it collided with her face. As if he was the one in pain right now.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…” he trailed off. “Are you okay?”

Chloe wanted to laugh, but instead tears stung her eyes.

“Please don’t cry,” he said. “Please… Please just say something.”

“Can you get me some ice please?” Chloe asked, no longer recognising the sound of her own voice.

He seemed to deflate with relief, and Chloe felt her hatred for him grow.

“Of course,” he said. “Let me help you up.”

Chloe couldn’t help but flinch away from him as he extended his hand towards her, and she saw the briefest flash of anger cross his eyes.

She took his hand and he helped her up and onto her feet before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Now alone, she gingerly touched the split in her lip and winced. It hurt more than she’d expected it to.

He’d never hit her before, and even though he was full of apologies and remorse now, Chloe already knew he would do it again.

He came back with a bag of frozen peas. “We’re out of ice,” he said.

Chloe nodded and took it from him, holding it against her rapidly swelling lip.

“I’m-”

“I know,” Chloe said, cutting him off. “I know you are.” She couldn’t bear to hear him say it again. “Let’s just… Let’s forget it.”

“Sure,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

The rest of the evening passed in a tense silence until Chloe finally crawled into bed.

She feigned sleep long enough to hear the sound of Chicago’s snores fill the room, and then she eased herself out of bed.

Shoved in the back of her closet was a bag she’d begun prepping months ago. When the rose-tinted glasses had come off, she started to really see those red flags that she’d so often dismissed.

The bag contained some clothes, toiletries, a small amount of cash, and her important documents.

She grabbed it out of the closet and, still in her pyjamas, climbed into her car and drove.

Beca had been fast asleep when the sound of her apartment buzzer cut through her dreams.

She groaned and fumbled for her phone, one eye closed as the bright screen lit up the room.

It was close to 2 am, and her stomach lurched as the noise continued.

She stumbled out of bed and hurried to the front door, her heart beating uncomfortably in her chest as she did so.

No one ever knocks at your door at 2 am with good news…

“Hello?” Beca asked into the intercom.

“Beca?”

If Beca’s heart had been beating hard before, it was doing something else entirely now.

“Chloe?”

“Please can I come up?”

Beca hit the button to unlock the door without a second of hesitation, and she waited anxiously for Chloe to reach her apartment.

Even though she’d been expecting it, Beca still jumped at the sound of the tentative knock at the door and she hurried to open it.

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “I’m so sorry for just turning up like this.” Chloe’s hands were shaking as she adjusted the weight of the bag on her shoulder, and her eyes shining with tears. “Please can I stay? Chicago, he’s…”

Chloe trailed off, but she didn’t need to tell Beca what Chicago had done, because Beca could see it for herself.

Beca felt like she couldn’t speak, so she just stepped aside so Chloe could enter her apartment. She shut the door behind them and slid the chain lock across for good measure.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Chloe said. “I’m sorry.”

Beca shook her head and forced herself to find her voice. “Don’t be sorry,” she said. “Of course you can stay here.”

Chloe seemed to deflate with relief in front of her, and Beca hated that in Chloe’s mind, there might have been a chance she’d have turned her away.

“Stupid question, but are you okay?” Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged. “I don’t think so,” she said, tears filling her eyes faster than she could wipe them away.

Beca wasted no time in closing the gap between them and wrapping Chloe up in a hug. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she said. “How can I help? What can I do?”

“Can I go lay down?” Chloe asked, the adrenaline that had been keeping her going was now quickly fading away. “I’m really tired.”

“Of course,” Beca said, reluctantly ending their hug. “Take my bed until I can get the spare room set up. I can sleep on the couch.”

Chloe took hold of her hand. “Please come with me,” she said. “I don’t want to be by myself.”

Beca nodded and squeezed Chloe’s hand. Her throat felt tight. “Go ahead,” she said, the strain evident in her voice. “I’ll be right in.”

With Chloe out of the room, Beca’s hands closed into fists, and she clenched her jaw shut in order to hold back the scream that threatened to erupt.

She’d never felt an anger quite like this before, and she needed it to go before she joined Chloe in the bedroom.

She closed her eyes and imagined herself pummeling every square inch of Chicago. Her jaw was clenched so tight she was amazed her teeth hadn’t shattered.

She counted to ten in her head, and then forced a slow breath out through her mouth.

Her anger was no good to Chloe right now. Chloe needed her to be strong and stable, but not angry.

She could be angry later, but not now. Not tonight.

She filled a glass with water and returned to the bedroom. Chloe was curled up on her side, her face lit up by her phone screen.

“Here,” Beca said, placing the water on the nightstand.

“Thanks,” Chloe said, locking her phone and placing it on her nightstand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Beca asked, climbing into the bed beside her.

“Not really,” Chloe said. “Not yet.”

“Okay,” Beca said. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“I, um, I don’t really know what to do Bec,” Chloe said, her voice beginning to waver again. She let out a small sob, that was quickly followed by another. “I’m sorry,” she said, quickly wiping her eyes.

“Don’t,” Beca said. “Don’t be sorry, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” She lifted her arm so Chloe could cuddle into her side, which she eagerly did.

“What’s going to happen when he figures out where I am?”

Beca felt that anger pulse in her again, but she pushed it away. “I don’t know,” Beca answered honestly. “But we’ll figure it out. I do know one thing though, and that’s that he won’t put his hands on you again.”

Chloe knew it wasn’t as simple as that but she allowed herself, for that moment, to feel safe. To feel protected. She decided to believe her.

“All you need to worry about now is getting some rest,” Beca said. “We can deal with everything else tomorrow.”

#bechloe #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fic #bechloe fanfiction #pitch perfect fanfiction #pitch perfect fanfic #pitch perfect #fanfic #fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #beca #chloe #pitch perfect fic #hurt/comfort #bechloe hurt/comfort #no matter the timeline

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ambrosiagourmet · 3 days

Note

I love your analysis and your fics! Do you have any fanfiction you recommend written by other folks?

Thank you!!

I'm not very good at bookmarking or tracking fics I read but I've taken a gander back through my history to find some Good Stuff for you:

My biggest rec by far would have to be The Taste of Goodbye by Birbliophile, which is a Marcille-centric gen fic that I think pretty much everyone in the fandom should read. I'm usually not a big fan of stories that fast-forward to character deaths (frankly it can get ME a little existential), but this is so lovingly crafted with such a hopeful focus that absolutely nails the themes of the manga. I really love how it ends off, too, but I won't spoil that :p

Their other dunmeshi works are also great, and in particular I'll also rec It's Still You which somehow in less than a thousand words made me fall in love with Marcille & Laios' dynamic all over again. It's SO good.

Let's see, what else....

Tomato Quiche by OfficialSpec is a wonderful Kabru & Laios fic (and also pre-relationship Labru) that characterizes both of them fantastically and hits the PERFECT sweet-but-still-difficult flavor I love in my post-canon dunmeshi.

the end of desire by rubiginosa is a beautiful piece about the dungeon lords. It's gorgeous and thoughtful and and painful and loving and very good.

Tarts by Fumiku is just a really really sweet short Laios/Marcille fic that I especially appreciate because it has such a wonderful depiction of post-canon Laios gaining wait and being loved for it.

And. Okay. This is such an obnoxious level of revealing and silly but FOR YOU ANON I shall, perhaps, reveal myself.

So. I am Very Ace and don't really read a lot of smut fic (nor do I feel particularly qualified to rec it), but. Um.

A Midnight Meal by perilouspage is a Falin/Marcille fic with some of the most fucking incredibly tender and sensual descriptions of food and cooking that I've ever seen. Sensuality in all forms is so important to the manga, and I sometimes feel a bit out of my depth when trying to capture that in my own writing, so this fic has been a big source of inspiration on how to do that. 👍The sex also is very beautifully written and good I am not at all trying to diminish that by the way. I'm just, uh. It's not as much my area of expertise.

And that's all I've got! There are lots and lots of other great fics out there but these are some particular favorites that I was able to dig up. Hope there's something in there you enjoy!

#ask #recs

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nerdieforpedro · 2 days

Text

Our Umbra of Life

Chapter One of Fire and Fury Series

Pero Tovar x Calista (fat/plus size OFC)

My entire masterlist and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI. I do not consent to my work being used in AI, recommended on TikTok, borrowed or plagiarized.

Word Count: 2784

Summary: We meet our mercenary and dragon, both on their last legs. How will they survive? What is the cost?

Warnings: References to death, graphic descriptions of injuries, arguing, Sassy Pero, trying out enemies to lovers trope (long way off everyone), a little Spanish?, colors, time period misogyny

Notes: I wanted to try writing a fantasy Pedro character fic and figured Pero was the perfect man for the job! Thanks so much to @tinytinymenace @604to647 @fhatbhabiee and @megamindsecretlair for beta reading my first chapter for me. ☺️

Let me know what you all think! 🤭

Main Masterlist/ Pero Tovar Masterlist/ AO3 Link

Two flickering flames

I share the same sense of urgency and finality that the creature does. Can I find it in time? Do I even know how to fuse two spirits together? Are we even compatible? I may still die despite trying. But I must do something, my soft carmine glow is being replaced with pallor. That arrogant libertine believes me dead, yet I’m only two steps away from it. The smoldering one, reeks of that colorless creatin - devoid of even the kindness to kill the thing outright. He left it to suffer the same as me. It is human. No matter, it is injured, and I will need to bargain with it to keep the eternal night at bay. It will claim my soft green and slate access to the heavens, maybe I can reclaim it after this ordeal, I have lived through worse. From the human’s anguish, conviction can bloom in revenge. I may yet become we.

This means there’s still hope.

Mierda (shit)! I survived a war, countless battles, fell hundreds and men and this…being killed by a fucking dragon and now knowing that the damn things are real?! This is bullshit! What other life was I supposed to live? A sword has been in my hand since I was five years old. The coin I’ve earned, the scars my body bears, the small group of villages I finally feel welcome in. I’ll lose everything. To hell with it! I can smell my flesh cooking in my armor. That white dragon’s flames aren’t extinguishing, I still feel my insides burning. This forest’s greenery is all the same except…dammit my vision is starting to wane…water. I hear the rush of water. If I can get there and submerge myself in its healing embrace, I may be able to make it back.

Everything will not be in vain, I will live.

Iron, burnt flesh, leather and…desperation.

Two souls are on the brink of death. When they meet, is it just for survival? Can differences be bridged upon a common goal?

We wonder if they may collapse from the strain on the essence of one’s core. A soul is meant to only be tethered to a body, not stretched across two and mingled with another.

The Fall

Animals scurry away from the clear waters of the rushing river. They know that stench and it hangs in the air, growing nearer. An unknown’s demise is happening now.

The lush emerald grass crunches under his heavy boots. With each step he becomes more encumbered, dripping fresh crimson down his armor coating the green with the dark red liquid. Pero Tovar is dying. Alone. His trusted friend William is nowhere to be seen, nor is his horse for that matter. Maybe he should have given the damn thing a name. It’s not important right now. He’s within ten feet of the water’s edge. If he can just jump in, the burning to his chest and stomach will cease. It has to. He didn’t force himself from beneath the shadow of the rock that bore scorch marks from that bastard dragon’s white-hot breath just to fall short of his goal. Tovar had lived a violent life, one that began young and grew increasingly dangerous as he aged. He’s not a young man anymore. He should have been retired at this point, in his mid-forties. It’s ancient for a mercenary. A small plot of land with a house that he planned on fixing up himself waited for him. Beckoned him back to make it into a modest home. Tovar might even be able to find someone to share it with. He would need to be alive for either of these things.

With heavy eyes stained with scarlet Pero creeps toward the water, extending his sword arm. The echo from his body’s thud two feet away from the river makes him groan. He’s so close, yet, he has not the strength to pull himself forward. Tovar’s left arm remains under him, limp and burnt as he had tried to block the flames with his non-dominant hand. It was in vain. Strangely his armor only had some light burns, it was his skin that broiled underneath his supposed protection. It now caged in the heat and Pero needed both hands to remove its pieces.

“Human. Can you hear me?” It’s a soft soothing voice. Pero knows it’s either a ploy for a demon to have him sell his soul or Death mocking him for not stopping at the brothel before taking this extermination job in this village. “Human. There shall be no eternal rest for you yet. I have need of you.” He’s needed? Bah, the voice is lying. He failed to report back that the monsters are dead so what good is he now? Someone else can easily take credit, maybe William. No, he’ll come looking for him. Might he run into the white dragon too? That dumbass would and he’ll die too. Hopefully quick, not agonizingly slow like this.

Darkness is beginning to take him as is the cold. Pero cannot feel his limbs nor tell if he’s moving them. “Hmmpf, you care nothing of your life? Just to let it slip away like this. You appeared to be a warrior of some sort. Do all human warriors lay on their belly and wait for their final breath? Such a pity.” This voice, such torture before death to be mocked like this, couldn’t he have died in battle?

“I’m already in hell only hearing this voice before I die. Goddammit.” The mercenary laments.

“Are all humans fools like this? Why will you not heed my words? I am not trying to reach you for simple vexation.”

“Stop with your flowery words then. Say what you actually need. I’m not going to listen to you the entire time before I leave this earth.”

“Such arrogance from a lesser being. Had I had any other option, but I do not. I can keep you alive long enough to complete the process. It will be painful, the combining of essences. But we will both hold fast to our mortal coil yet and seek our shared purpose of revenge.”

“What do you know about my need for vengeance? Silly voice. If it means I can live, then I can find you and shut you up in addition to killing that fucking white dragon. I’ve done worse than ‘combining essence’ in my life. Whatever the hell that is. I’ll agree. I need to see, move and fight. I will not succumb without another chance at battle.”

“Counting on your need for spilling its blood was the right call. You’ll feel me enter you. Do not resist me. I shall call your name. What are you called?”

“Pero Tovar. Make it quick. There’s a bright light. I’m trying to avoid it, but it’s getting closer.”

“Do not rush me. It is my first time attempting this. Pero Tovar.”

“Just my damn luck, an amateur silly voice.”

“Call me Calista you weak mortal. I shall not suffer being called names. Once you are revived, I will teach you who is more powerful, Pero Tovar.”

“Call me Pero, silly voice Calista. Do you not know what last names are?”

“I think I shall make it hurt more just for you Pero.”

“That’s provided you can revive me and not mess up whatever essence you mentioned. You best not kill me Calista. I’ll find your idiotic voice in the afterlife and stab the throat that creates it.”

“Big talk for a mostly dead human Pero. Enough. I will begin.”

Tovar felt pressure, his entire being is forced down into the ground. He is still in the shadows and cannot see. A presence is near, that much he can tell. He notices that the aching burns from before no longer bother him, they’ve been replaced by throbbing bubbles that are pushing against whatever is pushing him down. His body feels like it’s contorting, and he screams, cursing and agreeing with some faceless voice in his final hours. Pero figured with this much pain, he could have been torn in half and not know yet. “I’m being made into a filthy demon’s plaything! Fuck!” The scar on his left eye begins to simmer, tingling before growing, setting itself ablaze. His fingers touch his face, he doesn’t feel anything causing the pain in his scar. That same voice asked how he felt with glee, this asshole was enjoying his pain. “You bastard! Kill me or revive me but hurry it the hell up!” The bubbles tingled in the shape of a hand; it was pulling at something in Pero’ chest. It didn’t feel like an organ but something even more critical.

It’s wrong that it’s being touched and bent. Kneaded with something foreign. A wave of rage and disgust washed over his body briefly before he was able to regain control of himself.

A Fighter’s Rise

His body becomes still. He isn’t sure when, but now he’s on his back and wrenching to vomit. Sitting up, Pero dry heaves before coughing. Wait.

The mercenary is sitting. The wind is on his face. He no longer smells his burnt flesh. Dull aches from head to toe, but his legs and feet are attached to him and so are his arms. The rippling waters tickle his ears as he takes in the sights. He can see everything. Out of both eyes. “Dios mio (My God)!” The gruff mercenary exclaims, slowly rising to his feet. He can stand and he doesn’t feel heavy, no pressure. “Qué pasó (what happened)?” The grass that he had been laying on is covered with different flowers. Some he could identify, others he had never seen. “Why are all of these here?”

The soldier of fortune was alive and that was the focus right now.

“I told you I could bring you back. It appears things went mostly as planned, simple Pero.” The same voice he’d been hearing ringing in his head was further away, but closing in on him. Drawing his sword, Tovar readied himself for battle.

“The flowers symbolize what has happened here. They all have their own meanings, though I doubt a brute such as yourself would appreciate their significance. Lower your weapon. Do not bite the hand that brought you back from the brink of death.” A rush of air is all that Pero’s eyes are able to capture before he’s flat on his back again, pinned by his arms with what looks to be a large woman standing on each forearm. His broadsword slices the ground next to his head, cutting a curl or two of his dark locks and drawing blood from his cheek.

Warm chestnut skin adorns her legs as a silver and mint green dress wraps her body. It’s lightweight and seemingly has no protective value. Underneath the dress he notes different shapes to her body, similar to a woman who is well nourished. Many places to hold and most appear soft. She looks to have thick thighs and legs as well, but her undergarments are smaller than what he’s seen human women wear. The skin of her thighs are completely exposed to him. Her shoulders are exposed and her fingernails are a deep crimson, almost as if they have been dipped in blood. Her eyes remind Pero of warm honey fresh from the comb with hair that calls upon the midnight hours. As she speaks, he watches her raspberry lips with shock and amusement, “Do you not see who is the greater of our pairing Pero? You will remain beneath me as the creature who is controlled by his desires.”

The mercenary grinned and licked his bottom lip, “I would say you are the one with base instincts you reptile. Pinning a man like this when speaking of desires only leads to one outcome. Whatever great being you’re supposed to be and not aware of what human men think of when a woman has her legs open in front of him.” Was he really interested? Mildly, he hadn’t been to the brothel for a warm cunt since before this latest job. Pero was trying to unnerve her since she was acting ‘mightier than thou.’ He hated those types, looking down on everyone. She is literally looking down at him though.

“You disgusting ingrate. You will not move me Pero.” Pressing the soles of her feet into his forearms, she squinted her eyes. “I am called Calista. You will show proper reverence to a dragon! Should count yourself blessed to even meet me, let alone be essence bonded with me.”

At this, his signature scowl is on his face, “I was nearly killed by a dragon and now I’m partnered with one! You damn crazy woman!” Calista drops her hips and uses her shins to continue to pin his arms. Leaning over Tovar, one hand is wrapped around his throat, her nails dug into his skin. Gripping a handful of his hair with her other hand, her breathing was beginning to quicken. The honey of her eyes became a deep jade and flames of the same color puffed out of her mouth with each exhale.

“Damn humans…degenerate, reprobate humans. That I have to lower myself to someone like you to survive…We will be together until our goal is met and Acanthus is dead - the white dragon. Be prepared lowly Pero. I shall use you until completion of my goal.”

Tovar ended up laughing at her words. He’s sure she’s serious, her claws are around his throat but the woman dragon or whatever she is, will make whatever journey this will be a funny one for sure. Huffing, Calista gets off of Pero and waits for him to stand before tossing his sword at him. The scratches on his throat heal and she clicks her tongue.

“We must discuss our predicament so you understand what I am doing for you and the both of us. Sit by the river you sought out. I will come to you shortly.”

Pero spat on the ground at her feet and nodded, claiming a seat on a large rock next to the river.

The Dragon’s Lament

Calista stood, peering up at the sky. She would miss it. She was grounded now, stuck in this human form with such a body. And tethered to this lewd and foul man. She needed to survive, but at what cost? “Great Elder Bahamut, what have I done to deserve this? Why did you only exile that vile serpent? They should have been burned to ash.” She looked at Pero’s wide back, his hair was dirty but soft and his voice was a dulcet tone that made the scales she had left vibrate.

Taking steps toward her new other half, Calista felt unfamiliar sensations. Pero made her stomach churn, she spat in the same manner he had, except blood came out with it. She wipes her mouth as her once booming voice has lightened. Still rich in its depth, but didn’t vibrate the very air. “Dammit. My wings, my voice. Does this mean my magic as well? Just to survive, just because I wanted to remain my own dragon.” The short walk toward Tovar appears endless to her, each step heavier than the next. “Weak, shifty human. Pero you must-“ Her voice cut off as she fell forward as the mercenary had in the same spot. Shivering in the resentment at how frail her body was now, Calista gasped. A boot was next to her head.

“Who is above who now, you haughty dragon? You look sick. I would be stuck with a half-dragon that can’t move.” Pero heard the thud and rose from his seat next to the water. The creature did appear to be posturing to cover for something. Now he knew, whatever she had done to keep them both alive had grave consequences for her. What did it mean for him?

“Vamos la arpía pequeña (Let’s go little dragon).” Pero slipped his arms underneath her body and turned her over. She may have been exceedingly prideful as a dragon - something to have pride in, but she was also beautiful, there were scales dotted along her skin that varied from silver to magenta. He lifted her and surveyed his area, they’d need shelter for the time being until she woke up or nightfall came. His eyes seemed sharper than they had been, he didn’t remember being able to see that far, spying a cave about three thousand feet away. “Maybe there might be something to this. Not telling her that though.”

Measured steps toward the cave gave Tovar ample time to think and consider next measures.

One who might pin Pero down…for reasons:

@tinytinymenace @604to647 @jessthebaker @megamindsecretlair @soft-persephone

@rav3n-pascal22 @iamskyereads @sherala007 @morallyinept

@soft-girl-musings @readingiskeepingmegoing @bishtrouille @yorksgirl @inept-the-magnificent

@avastrasposts @perotovar @connectioneverywhere @alltheglitterandtheroar @all-the-things-2020

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pero tovar #pero tovar x ofc #dragons #Fire and Fury #A Nerdie series

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buttercupshands · 26 days

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So... Ch 423 spoilers huh...?

Just read them... since, yeah, they just appeared and stuff

I... don't really have much to say other than.... I guess this is over? The battle, the arc... basically everything?

I'm... glad that it is, since it was really slow from all of the breaks, but at the same time it's... a little sad, or, actually, just... nothing

I think it's time to... reflect on... whatever happened in this arc or just in general, so... a personal story tie ig

I've been following mha for almost 5 years since I first watched and read it as my first "real" anime and have been following stuff ever since ch 240-241 came out and I caught up with manga, so it was pretty obvious what characters were the most interesting ones

Ever since the volumes became available to buy in 2019 I've been collecting them all up to the very recent ones and it was fun to do even if calculating how to buy them was a challenge for 'I just graduated high school' kind of person. But it was worth it every time with how LoV appeared basically in every single volume since they used 2-in-1 way of publishing so since LoV appears ever so briefly sometimes every 2 volumes it was a win-win situation

I took a break from buying them last year after the exams and stuff and after chapters of Toga's death came out I just took a break from mha in general, focusing more on other stuff like hsr, genshin or just my life while helping with stuff

I still followed the spoilers every week they came out just to see how Horikoshi wants to end the LoV story or at least how would Izuku fight Tomura in the end

And... it's the last chapter of that. After 2 years since the Final arc started and a year since Tomura actually started fighting Izuku inst

It feels right in a way, even if I'm a bit sad how... this is it? AFO just dropped info in ch 419 for it to be irrelevant in the end just for AFO to have control for 4 chapters and Tomura yelling to say that he's still alive in there

It was odd to actually read the spoilers one by one this time since I sometimes wake up too late so I just go through them quickly and that's it

I wondered halfway into the chapter that Tomura would just die soon but I didn't expect it to happen this chapter even more so at the end of it

It's... really is over now?

Defeating LoV was literally just finding a way for them to self-destruct instead of making Class 1-A be the ones who kill them showing that they're still good in the end. It's not like I'm complaining - it's the way I wanted them to be defeated because them staying alive in the end felt unfair, especially when fans were the ones who wanted it. Just leaving them in Tartarus for a way to say that Izuku can't save villains or changing the story so the LoV is left alone is not the way this manga would deal with it, I thought

And I was right in a way, even if it took Toga's monologue to actually be more sure that this is where it's going

It felt too much like how Twice's death was done - without any regret from him

Maybe it made me a bit... off from how other people wanted it to end with heroes "getting what they deserve" or something, but it would've stopped being MHA after something like that happened, especially in a final arc when all of the LoV (except maybe Compress who is not on the battlefield) is literally wearing death signs with Dabi being the most loud one with it - and we still haven't seen him have this "alright, goodbye" moment like Twice, Toga and Tomura now had

And I don't believe that Dabi will survive this arc - he's literally too far gone with his body less alive than before and with him living only to be angry at Endeavor I guess it's a matter of time we get a goodbye from him too

With how this chapter handled it it seems that Spinner might survive this arc after all, but again - it makes it all the more sad since Horikoshi did remind us that Tomura befriended Spinner, in a way making it... a bit sad that it means that Tomura didn't expect others to make it or at least since they were more focused on their own goals Spinner was caring more for Tomura's goal than for himself.

Which is... even more sad considering that Tomura literally tells Izuku to say that he was destroying until the end instead of telling how Tomura lost everything and couldn't do anything anymore even before dying from basically decaying from the quirk that AFO gave him

And that's... Not dissapointing, no. It just makes me sad that his arc ended like that after all those chapters ever since he debuted 10 years ago.

Is you want it to be correct, since Horikoshi based Tomura off his oneshot about Tenko - it's been 17 years since the concept of his character first gained form and only now he's gone

Like... really gone. Nothing else left.

You can probably tell that I didn't take it well even if I wanted this ending to be this way not the "everyone survives way", but it still hurts to see the character that clicked ever since first watching and reading MHA and the character who is basically responsible for me even trying to check first the anime then wiki and then manga just... dying like that

Granted Kurogiri was the one who showed up in the end and I'm just glad for this because ever since ch 419 came out and even before that I just hoped for it to matter in some way and it did

I remember reading some fics that dealt with this arc in a way that was satisfying for me, but I still crried a lot and I still am crying now from thinking that Horikoshi did in fact give LoV a break instead of leaving them in jail.

I do need a break tho. Not in a "I leave and no more sketches or anything from me", no

I need a break from this manga, thankfully next volume isn't close so I'm free to not buy it right after that, especially since it's Toga's volume and I'm not ready to read it again but this time as "read every volume" way

I also can't leave Ultra Impact since I suddenly became a leader for a club I was in alone after everyone left, it's now full with 30 people appearing from s7 starting ig, but it gave me some responsibility to support the new players who decided that a weird club which name I can't even change from what last leader called it, so I might continue playing just to, at least, have all or the LoV characters fully leveled up just for fun

But in a way a need a break from Tomura. I had one or two when it was becoming unberable with how manga was going and with how things are... yeah

I have some sketches ideas but other than that... it's a bit hard to touch something LoV related right now.

I also don't think that doing something like this again is a way I want to cope with what happened - it happened and I already have two different posts about both how depressing and hopeful ch 419 is, and in the end both were true.

Nothing changed what happened in ch 419, Tomura just decided to destroy AFO when the plot wanted with Izuku and OFA together which is definetely something that people made theories of

He didn't get time to get at least something before he's gone and whatever happened with Nana was happened off-screen so we might as well see it as Tomura dying with his life never meaning anything, never actually having any purpose and only by helping to destroy AFO did he do at least something that helped others and was his own choice, but was it? Did he ever have a choice at all?

As it is now and will be for the end for MHA Tenko Shimura or Tomura Shigaraki never really had a choice in anything he did, not in a "I didn't have a choice!!!" dramatic way of how Nana Shimura left Kotaro. No. He didn't have any choices to choose from to begin with.

But with how Kurogiri still wanted to protect Tomura and reminded him of his friends at least it's not just the first part of the post that was right, in the end last words that Tomura said were connected to LoV and what he wanted to do for them, not that AFO was to blame for everything which is true still, but that LoV, even as broken as it is, is still a priority in Tomura's head after all this time of having AFO's quirk twist his mind and anything Tomura said outside of that headspace should've been carefully checked since it could've been AFO who's talking

It's not the ending for Tomura that people were hoping he'll get nor is it something that everyone will agree on, I can feel people arguing from here even if I didn't check Twitter or tags here on Tumblr to be sure. I don't need to.

So... those are my thoughts, a bit emotional in some places a bit chaotic in other, since my head is a mess right now and this was a way to say "this is it... are you happy?" to myself and answering it.

And the answer is no. I'm not happy. This arc, Tomura's personal arc and the way Izuku "helped" Tomura is still some of the worst things, even if I'm glad that this is over and I'm not obligated by myself to wait every week nervous that Tomura would suffer, and he did suffer, a lot.

From how his only way of getting his memory back was to suffer again to the fact that he had to suffer to get rid of his hate that AFO so carefully nurtured for 16 years. It wasn't great, especially since I joined after MVA was over and nothing after that was good to LoV getting worse every chapter from Twice dying and Toga learning that she'll probably die too, to Tomura never actually meeting LoV again as himself after he got AFO's quirk basically making him oblivious to the fact that Dabi is Toya or that Spinner followed what AFO wanted just to be useful, that Toga gave away her blood to save Ochako or that Dabi burned himself to death probably and Mr. Compress compressing parts of his own body. And the only person he saw before talking to Izuku was Kurogiri who was literally melting away at that very moment.

It's... a bit unfair.

Yes, villains lose at the end since we're reading a manga even if the manga itself isn't sure if it wants to go "no this is REAL" or go the way every shonen goes with the main character getting what they want. LoV lost at the end just because the manga needed them to lose, even if the way it was shown wasn't disrespectful to their character arcs, all of them making sense in the end.

It's still unfair that their only choice was to die and in a way bring everyone with them if they can, it was the way Dabi almost did it, it was the way both Toga and Tomura did, only for their respective Heroes - Shouto (and Todoroki family as whole), Ochako and Izuku being saved from dying from something that would've worked ONLY there and then. While the villains are not in the My Villain Academia version of manga anymore, so they don't have a way to survive anything like they did in MVA. For Toga, Twice and Tomura it was the only way to survive, if they weren't the main characters of that arc they would've died.

So, in the end it's miracle that we even had that arc in the first place with how Horikoshi wasn't planning for the villains to become the sympathetic characters for the fans - they were supposed to be just scary, and it's clear when you read stuff before volume 23 comes with MVA - they were always just evil and scary without any hope for us to get something out of it. You may say that the chapter with Toga helping Twice and having Tomura talk to them after the conversation with Overhaul was the first sign of Horikoshi not just showing them as those evil villains, and in a way it's true.

Nothing from before that arc actually helped LoV aside from showing some poins of "Dabi might me Toya" or first points of AFO and Tomura talking face to face. In the end everything important was in Overhaul arc and MVA tightly connected to each other.

I'm glad that for the 5 years of my life I've been analysing LoV and took my time getting every volume, I'll still hold them dearly. But aside from couple of chapters at the end showing us what happened to others... it's really the end of it.

With how long this post is I don't expect for people to read everything, since it was mostly just me talking about the new chapter for an hour and a half, sharing my thoughts, feelings and... whatever else there might be.

Because it was important thing in my life for a long enough time that I would miss it.

I can talk for hours more and just loop around this topic, but this is long enough post and I'm tired, but thanks for reading

I'm happy that this is over

#important #not art #bnha #bnha manga spoilers #mha 423 #personal post #personal thoughts #shigaraki tomura #I debated on do I want to tag him or not #but it is heavily Tomura related #tenko shimura #toga himiko #it's related to her too #for the past months I've been thinking a lot #what do I think of MHA what do I think of LoV and what do I think about Horikoshi and his writing #I enjoy it in a way #Izuku is still a good hero and I'm glad that he got what he wanted - he's a main character #but it doesn't make it any less sad that LoV were just obstacles for him and his friends even if they were just as well written #they would've had a terrible life after this final arc so at least they chose not to go through it #and I did read couple of good canon divergence or coping with canon fics for me to be okay with this like... they're probebly in the bar no #I wanted to add a screenshot from Ultra Impact at the end but I didn't it wasn't fitting there but I did rearrange some stuff #*sigh*#thank you #edit: fun fact I was listening to Might+U for the last half of this post this track is horrible for making me cry even more

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theflyingfeeling · 6 months

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fic talk in the tags 💝

#aaaaaaaa i have only 4 stores left to write for the advent calendar and then i'm done?! 😭#i can't believe it guys i might actually be able to pull this off 👀#i've literally just winged it day after day with minimal planning #and i haven't even had a breakdown once? gonna knock on wood here real quick lol #i've had so much fun writing all these little stories too 🥺 and i'm fairly satisfied with them as well! yes!! me!! my biggest critic!!#i'm not gonna be writing anything for a while after i get these last ones done though lol i've written SO MUCH during these past weeks #however i did write down a short piece of dialogue in finnish the other day 👀#like. literally 11 words and idk if i'm ever gonna write more but those words just...came to me so i had to write them down somewhere #(it has been peer-reviewed as 'perfect' (thanks eetu <3) and you can totally slide in my DMs if you're curious)#and the college/uni au i've been playing with practically all autumn is something i definitely want to give a try #(so far i only have some random notes and moodboards 😅)#but whatever i'll end up writing i'll do it because i want to and that's what's important 🤍#thank you so much everyone who has been reading these stories or any of my fics this year #i really am not expecting anyone to read my stories and i'm happy if even just one person does 🥺#okay sappy talk over now back to writing byeeeeee #*stories

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ereborne · 4 months

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Song of the Day: February 26

“Diamonds in the Mud” by Gerry Cinnamon

#song of the day #another song off that same excellent concept playlist by losersimonriley #there's so many more Scottish bands added to my circulation now it's wonderful #this is a song specifically about Glasgow being his hometown so he uses more of his accent for it which I love #I've been pestering my brothers with accent and slang fun facts for a while now #more or less since the first time somebody had Soap use a particular Scottish saying in their CoD fic and made me go over all !!!!#'innsidh na geòidh as t'fhoghar e' translates to 'the geese will tell it in autumn' and reading that nearly made me explode #because when I was a small child and I asked my uncle too many 'why' questions he told me not to worry about it #that the geese would tell me next fall #amazing to me to find out decades later through Call of Duty fanfiction that that's an actual phrase #preserved for who knows how many generations between the first Scottish folks who must've brought it to Appalachia #and then eventually my Uncle Tommy who decided to use it to turn the aggravation tables around on a child #I'm thinking about that again now not just because it still blows my mind a little bit #(really truly had so firmly accepted it as just my Uncle Tommy trolling me with nonsense. it's such a thing he'd do)#but also because of a specific bit from the end of the song 'it's thirteen degrees and there's folk in the street in the scud'#that's just under 60F (a blissfully warm sunny day in Glasgow it seems) and 'in the scud' means 'naked'#which is also a thing I've almost heard from my family!#my aunts up the mountain and therefore also my father at times would say 'in the scuff' (my aunts with a little tilt to the vowel sound)#there was a sort of connotation of it being a silly or immature or maybe drunken sort of naked. an unimpressive naked at least #like 'Tommy fell into the muddy end of the pond trying to catch that damnfool heron' (this is a true story btw. take that Uncle Tommy)#'when he got back his wife made him take off all his clothin in the yard and hose down first. had to walk into his house in th scuff'#and then all the old ladies cackle about Tommy walkin through his door 'both heads hangin low' and my dad winces a little bit #it's important I share all these memories with my siblings now. most of the family's dead and gone and the boys don't remember #very fun for me to tell the stories now and see Nick do the exact same wince at the slightly mean-spirited dick commentary #just a little family legacy in action. thank you Gerry Cinnamon #(in the spirit of song-of-the-day though I will share my favorite line without the contextual boost of silly ereborne family stories:#'I know a guy who's a lightweight / one or two jars and he's buckled #he's the guy that loses keys / has to break into his ain house and gets huckled'#ungodly fun to sing and I do know several of this guy. not related to them though. my whole family drinks like fish)

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soulffles · 1 year

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i've been working on this au nonstop. i've poured my heart and soul into this piece, into the slow progression of andre and gigi's relationship, into all the star/constellation research, and i'm so so proud of it. i really hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it!

i even made a spotify playlist for the fic! check it out!

chapters: 1/2 fandom: inside job rating: 18+!! warnings: no warnings ships: andre lee/gigi thompson, god i love kickass girlbosses and their dependable malewives summary: gigi tackles her first midlife crisis after getting laid-off from her cushy executive job. when she receives a new next-door neighbor and unwittingly enters an unfortunate cycle of embarrassing run-ins with him, she begins to believe her life is the ultimate practical joke. however, as time goes by, andre starts to fill a hole in gigi’s heart that she never knew was empty; the small, intimate moments between the two held in the palm of her hand like stardust, scattering across the galaxy the moment they crash into one other.

#inside job #save inside job #renew inside job #andigi #andre x gigi #breagan #brett x reagan #inside job au #ij #inside job fic #inside job fanfic #my posts #my writing #this fic is so important to me so if you do read it thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart

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luuxxart · 1 year

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Are you still continuing the Earthbound fic? I loved the first chapter

oh gosh. Not to be obi wan kenobi on main but. That is not a name I have heard in a long time 🥺🥺🥺

Ok so like, I was, I really was going to continue it. And that fic is my baby. That’s like. My first born child. I was SO proud of it. So it wasn’t that I fell out of love w the series or I lost my passion for it bc . Gahhhh it was the best thing I’d come up w/ in a while. This is the fic

What happened was, the app I was writing on (My W Days bc, idk it was convenient at the time and I wasn’t really into google docs) decided that in the middle of the second chapter (I had literally written out the whole library scene where Ness gets the map and part of the Sharks stuff) it would just. Destroy half the file????? so I was like. Ok.

And I just. Never wanted to go back it made me so pissed. Left a bad taste in my mouth idk.

But idkkkkk I can’t say I won’t ever go back to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i still have the whole fic scripted out I’m my notes and I go back and reread it sometimes lol it would’ve been 22 chapters fr

Seriously though thank you so much for having read and enjoyed the first chapter. I really wish I could’ve shared more with you 💕💕

#listen like. at the time that fic was SO important to me #writing Ness as a community college kid helped me understand my own feelings abt being a gifted kid in high school and then.#by circumstances having to go to comm college #which now I’ve been accepted to a prestigious 4 year so i guess I’m more like Porky now haha #but like. this was at the height of my love for catcher in the rye and I think it shows. ness is very holden-coded #catcher in the rye is still my favorite book I’ve read it three times. idk I just like pessimistic characters who try to be quirky lol #writing them is just so fun #i will say. something that didn’t help was that I got into persona immediately after I published the first chapter #and if i was going to finish something I’ve got some Shu/ake and Maru/dachi stuff I really need to finish up #but man . i do think abt this fic a lot and I hope to return to it someday #thank you so so much for asking about it im really glad you enjoyed it. that makes me happier than. man idk what #ask

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scoopsgf · 2 years

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i just have to say something that always impresses me with your writing is your ability to give characters their own distinct internal voice. my biggest turn off is usually writing with multiple povs cause none of the characters feel particularly different from one another. when reading any of your fics the internal monologue and even references the characters make all feel so distinct and adds a layer of dimension to the story that makes me love it even more 💕

did you know that i love you. did you know that. i don’t think you know how much i don’t think you get it. it’s a lot okay

#asks #emmeriex #gilmore girls #this is just. super important to me like seriously #ever since reading that one divergent book as a kid and always being confused as to whose POV i was reading #recreating that confusion with my fics is my personal nightmare #so thank you SO MUCH you are just the sweetest ever. i really do adore you

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ninjaaa-go · 11 months

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every once in a while it really just hits me how important representation is

#like I talk about it a lot with my sister especially in regards to lgbtq+ rep #but every once in a while I really feel it you know?#And sometimes it reminds me that it’s not just the obvious ones (race sexuality etc) that are important #Sometimes even just small things like seeing a character with freckles or glasses goes a long way #And even in small projects it does a lot of good #Like I was only even thinking about this because I read a fanfic and a character I really love was written as having scoliosis #And I have scoliosis as well- and just stumbling across that in an unrelated fic made me so ridiculously happy #It’s honestly such an amazing feeling to see characters that you love or relate to or look up to have some of these same traits that you do #Especially the ones that aren’t shown a lot in media #Idk where I’m going with this #But thank you to fic writers and every other creative out there who includes some sort of representation in their work whether big or small #It is definitely appreciated!#fanfiction #rambling #representation

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navybrat817 · 7 months

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I wish I had a smitten Bucky. Just sees me and wants me. 🥺

I know the feeling, nonnie.

Check Yes or No

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky instantly falls for you, but waits to ask you out.

Word Count: Over 2.1k

Warnings: Fluff, could be seen as instalove on Bucky's side, attraction, slight insecurities, minor time jump, Alpine being the best, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: I can't send Bucky your way, lovelies, so I hope you enjoy this short, surprise fic! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky wasn't looking for love the day he met you, but it found him anyway.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted from his seat when he walked into the conference rooms and nodded to the spot beside him that you occupied. “I’d like you to meet our newest transfer. She’s also moving into the Tower.”

He was a changed man the moment your eyes met. Breathtaking was a word to describe you given how he had forgotten to breathe. He had witnessed many sunrises and sunsets in his life, a kaleidoscope of colors painted in the sky to both soothe and awaken the soul. They paled in comparison to the beauty before him.

One glance and he belonged to you completely.

“Hi, Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”

While he wasn't sure if Heaven existed, you speaking his name was like hearing the voice of an angel.

“I’m Bucky.”

Of all the things he could've said, reiterating his name was what his mouth went with.

Instead of giving him a weird look or brushing him off when he scowled at himself, you smiled. “I look forward to us working together.”

Bucky couldn't tell you what the meeting was about that day, but he remembered the details about you. The way you leaned forward in your seat to pay extra attention when someone else spoke, also giving him an ample view of your chest before he reminded himself not to stare. The slight crease in your forehead when you jotted down an important note. And the soft giggle you let out when Steve cracked a joke.

He suddenly wished he was funnier.

“Have a good rest of the day, Bucky,” you said when the meeting ended.

Bucky didn't have to try to smile with you. It just came naturally. When you smiled back, it was easy to imagine what it would be like if you were his girl.

“You, too,” he replied, giving himself a mental victory for not screwing up his words this time. “Wait!”

You paused and looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

Bucky realized he had no reason to keep you from leaving. He just didn't want you to go. “Do you need help moving your stuff in?”

“I actually got my things moved in late last night, but thanks for the offer,” you replied, checking the time with wide eyes. “I'm so sorry. I have to go. I’m in 2L if you need anything!”

“Bye,” he called after you, turning in his chair to watch you go.

How did he miss you already?

Though Steve had a knowing look in his eyes, he graciously kept his mouth shut as he left the room. He reminded him an hour later that he wouldn't break any bylaws by asking you out. The punk somehow knew that you weren't seeing anyone.

Which made him happy.

While he appreciated Steve looking out for happiness, he still had to get his head on straight.

“Once I completely trust my own mind, maybe I will,” Bucky said, even though the stuff was already out of his head. He owed it to himself to take his time. And you.

Imagine his surprise when he found a note from you on his door the next day.

Hey, Bucky! Lunch on me today? Check YES or NO.

The lopsided grin on his face wouldn't go away when he read it again. You must've been interested in him enough to ask about him. How else did you know his apartment number? Why else would you ask him to lunch?

He nearly shouted “YES” in the hall before he came to his senses and simply checked the option before he returned the note to your apartment door.

When he met up with you later, he told himself it wasn't a date. It couldn't be, right? It didn't keep his heart from stopping when you answered your door. Dressed down and casual, you looked like an angel went to Earth just for him.

“Hey, Bucky,” you smiled. “Ready to go?”

He hadn't said much on the way to the cafe since he was too busy hanging on to your every word, but it was like he had known you for ages as you carried on the conversation. Your questions weren't invasive and you didn't seem to mind the occasional short answers. It was also the shortest meal of his life, over too soon for his liking, and he also refused to let you pay for his meal.

He wanted to show you that gentlemen still existed.

“Lunch again next week?” You offered.

“Sure,” he answered, his head spinning from giddiness.

But it wasn't a date.

It was time to change that.

Today was the day. Six months from the day he met you. Six months of chatting with you between missions and slowly getting to know you over weekly lunches. Six months of falling for you more and more each day and he finally worked up the courage to ask you out.

But falling was the easy part. Confessing was an entirely different story. He would either crash to the ground and hope his wounds would later heal or you’d catch him as he fell. No matter what, he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.

“Just like we practiced, okay?” Bucky asked.

“Meow.”

Alpine nuzzled her head against Bucky’s with a gentle purr when he huffed. She was his little partner-in-crime through and through. Like you, even though you didn't realize it, the little white ball of fur helped save him. He was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to bring her to this floor, but any reprimand would be worth it.

Besides, the Tower, office, anywhere they operated should allow them to have their pets with them, especially for emotional support.

“I'm counting on you,” he teased, placing the folded up piece of paper in her mouth. “Go.”

He peeked around the corner when he set Alpine down. The sun illuminated you from where you sat in the lounge, curled up in your normal spot on the sofa. You liked to relax there occasionally to read. He wondered what book you had with you today.

Thankfully, no one was around to disturb you.

Except for him.

“Alpine, is that you?” You asked when you looked up, closing the book as the cat approached you. While the feline was cautious of some, she warmed up to you immediately when you met and solidified that you were the one for him. “Whatcha got there? Where’s Bucky?”

His name spilling from your lips was still one of his favorite sounds.

He held his breath when Alpine jumped up beside you, opened her mouth, and dropped the paper in your lap. He immediately began to second guess himself when you unfolded it with a furrowed brow. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why didn't he just ask you like a normal guy?

To be fair, he hadn't been normal for some time.

“Will you go out with me? Check YES or NO. Love, Bucky,” you read out loud with a huge smile, which was enough to make his heart race. You giggled a moment later when Alpine bumped your hand, the soft noise making his stomach do a funny sort of flip. “Okay, okay. Let me get my pen out of my bag.”

Bucky exhaled a little as he moved to stand in the doorway. You didn't toss the paper away, so that had to be a good sign. He carefully kept himself from showing any outward emotion when you met his gaze, but his knees nearly gave out. His palms also began to sweat when you gave him a half smile.

Just when he thought you couldn't look more beautiful than you had the day before, you proved him wrong.

He ran a hand through his hair and hoped he looked halfway decent since he hadn't brushed it. But you commented a few weeks back that you liked it long when you saw an old photo, so he wanted to grow it out. He lost count of how many times he imagined your fingers in his hair

Maybe one day.

Watching you grab your pen, it was like he was drowning. The tide pulled him under as you made a mark on the sheet. His lungs burned when you handed it back to Alpine. He couldn't come up for air. He couldn't breathe.

Until you smiled again.

“Thanks, Alpine,” you said.

His cat gracefully walked back to Bucky and he swore he caught you trying not to giggle as she climbed up his leg. His heart hammered in his chest when he took the slip of paper from her mouth. Meeting your tender gaze, he couldn't bring himself to open it though.

After he told himself he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.

“Not going to see what my answer is?” You asked as he carried Alpine into the lounge.

“I want to,” he replied, sighing as he took a seat beside you. His cat was perfectly content to lay in his lap. “But I’m questioning if I did this the right way.”

The note you gave him for a simple lunch request may have been a small gesture in your eyes, but it meant the world to him. He thought by asking you out this way that he could give you something meaningful in return. Something that only the two of you shared.

That was all he wanted.

You turned toward him, your knee touching his. The small touch sent heat down his spine. “Open it and you’ll find out.”

He nodded, thankful that his vibranium hand didn't shake as he lifted the sheet. “Wait, let me say something before I do.”

The corner of your lip tugged as you tried not to smile. “Bucky-”

“I like you. I really like you. I have since the day we met. And I'm going to like you tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that,” he admitted in a rush, catching your sharp inhale as he looked into your eyes. “But I know my past isn't easy to deal with. If you just want to be a teammate or colleague, that’s okay. Just. Being a part of your life in some way is more than enough.”

Alpine lifted her head and looked between the two of you, as if she was waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.

Bucky felt a crack in his heart when you didn't speak or react, his body slumping slightly into the couch. It was okay. He took a chance and told you how he felt. He wouldn't force you to reciprocate.

“Bucky?” You asked above a whisper, reaching over to help him unfold the paper. He gasped when he saw the checkmark beside “YES”, blinking rapidly to make sure you picked that box. “I really like you, too.”

“You do?” He exhaled, grasping your hand with renewed joy. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Hurting you was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

“Yeah. Pretty much since the day I met you,” you admitted, glancing in your lap before you met his gaze again. He saw stars in your eyes. “And your past isn't your fault, Bucky. You aren't something to ‘deal with’, okay? You’re a good man. I can give you a whole list of reasons if you need it.”

Physically, Bucky’s body was in peak condition. Your confession, however, caused all of the air to leave his lungs and made him weak in the best possible way. A familiar warmth moved through Bucky’s veins as he breathed again and it dawned on him at that moment that he hadn't felt cold since you walked into his life.

Not once.

Your faith in him gave him strength. Your mere existence gave him the courage to try. And he didn't have to go it alone.

“Wow,” he breathed, relieved and elated as he gave you a small smile. “How about tomorrow night?”

“It’s a date,” you smiled.

“Great,” he smiled back. A date. He couldn't wait to see the look on Steve's face when he told him that he finally asked you out.

“And I think the note was purrfect,” you teased at Alpine before you scrunched up your face. “I ruined the moment, didn't I?”

Bucky brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it as gently as he possibly could. He could hear your heart race. So was his. “Not at all.”

He knew it was too soon to say he loved you and it was likely too soon for you to feel that way about him, but he felt hope in your smile that you would one day.

For now, he had a date to plan all because you checked “yes”.

We know it'll be the best date ever, right? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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1-800-kami · 9 months

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R U MINE? feat. gojo satoru

gojo satoru has got to be the picture definition of a stereotypical college frat boy. he’s cocky, loaded with his daddy’s money, and dangerously handsome. it seems like common sense to stay away from him since you’ll never get more than a one-night stand out of it.

that’s why you choose to turn a blind eye once you’ve come to the horrific realization: you’re in love with him. and you’re just itching to ask…

“are you mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?”

IMPORTANT: part two is out! read here :)

content: 8k words, afab!reader, angst! fluff! heartbreak! n everything in between! implied smut, rich college frat boy gojo and hellcat driver geto 🤑, emotional rollercoaster, reader has a toxic ex, trust issues (?) gojo is absolutely insufferable, misunderstandings, use of words hoe, slut, etc., mutual pining, some jjk character cameos (wink wink) me writing very unfunny dialogue, no bc wtf is this, cheating implications, emo gojo (the worst warning of them all)

author's note: hello hello! my name is kami, i've been reblogging fics on tumblr for a while now but i've recently figured out how to work this hellsite, so i'm going to start posting fics that i write! thank you to those who enjoyed my nanami drabble <3 kisses 4 u all.

this fic IS split into two parts and there is smut in the second part. so just. prepare yourselves for that ig.

reblog and interact for a kiss ;)

“so… let me get this straight.”

“go ahead.”

shoko takes a deep breath, and you just somehow know that she’s pinching her nose in exasperation right now. “utahime dragged you out to a party in hopes that you would hit it off with somebody. you wander off on your own and later, she sees you and gojo–THE gojo satoru–giving you his number?!”

“uh, yeah. that’s exactly what happened.”

“do you even understand what you’re getting yourself into?! that man bags hoes like they’re pokemon!” you readjust the phone against your ear and sigh at shoko’s comment.

“okay, first of all, never say that again. second, i rejected all of his advances. i didn’t even save his number.” you stare at the crinkled-up note in your hands, which proudly displays his number and a slick call me if you change your mind ;). you wonder if you could sell this paper to his fangirls–you’d surely make a little bit of cash out of it. “i’ve seen gojo around. i know that i shouldn’t mess with him. plus, he was drunk as hell at the party; i doubt he even remembers my name. to him, i’m just some chick that he’s frustrated at because she didn’t want to fuck him the second she saw him.”

“do you… do you share any classes with him?”

“i don’t think i do.. just, don’t worry about it, okay? i’ll throw away his number and we can put all of this behind us. here, i’ll do it right now.” you rip up the paper into a few pieces before tossing it in the garbage can. hopefully, you did it loud enough that shoko heard it through the phone. “i get that you’re worried for me. and i appreciate that, but i can handle myself.”

“just… no more mention of gojo anymore, okay? you’re right, y/n. let’s just put this all behind us.” shoko sighs, and you smile at that. problem solved. you threw away his number, and he’s most likely moved on to the next girl by now, so that was that. now, you just have to forget about satoru gojo.

all to never let yourself get hurt ever again.

it’s hard to forget about gojo.

not because of those dangerous blue eyes of his–getting anyone lost in them if they stare for too long. not because of his stupid silvery white hair, which makes him look like a mop, and sometimes like a paintbrush. not that stupid cocky grin of his, either…

...but because you’ve recently found out that he sits next to you for physics.

the revelation was truly disheartening. you thought you could avoid him for the rest of the year because as far as you knew, you shared no classes with him. however, you completely forgot about the fact that gojo never attends class in the first place, and you don’t even know what classes he’s in… because he’s never there. so finding out that the seat next to you in physics wasn’t just an empty seat, and it was gojo’s assigned one, was truly an experience.

“gojo.” the name alone makes your heart stop, and you drop your pen to look at the man your teacher was addressing. “finally choosing to attend class for once?”

speak of the devil.

there he was, in all his glory–the man you’d never thought you had to deal with ever again. the man who tried to butter you up with his corny sweet talk so that you would go home with him for the night. the man who persisted with talking to you, even though you were barely interested. the man, who, at the end of the night, insisted on writing down his number for you in case you changed your mind about him and gave him a chance.

you wanted to shrink into your seat and never resurface.

“good morning, yaga!” he says rather loudly, with no regard to honorifics at all. a few giggles could be heard across the classroom–though geto suguru’s voice was prominent–satoru’s equally as infamous bestfriend. “and yeah! it’s surprising, isn’t it?”

what’s also surprising is how gojo took a seat next to you. you thought that there was a mistake, that your teacher would scold him for sitting somewhere he isn’t supposed to sit and relocate him elsewhere. however, yaga just grumbles and begins the lesson, leaving you helpless and unable to look at the man next to you.

you swear he’s burning holes at the back of your head.

pleasdon’tremembermeisweartogodpleasedon’trememberme-

“you’re that girl from the party, right?” he whispers, and you’ve never wanted to disappear so badly in your life. you slowly nod your head, turning to look at him, and he pouts. “y/n l/n. you never saved my number. hmph, i was looking forward to a text from you, too.”

“i’m surprised you even remember me, 'cause you were fucking wasted that night.” you twiddle your pencil, averting your gaze from the man. “and i never saved your number cause i threw the paper in the trash. it’s probably at a landfill somewhere, y’know.”

your words catch him off guard, and you laugh at how surprised satoru looks. it seems that’s definitely not an emotion he shows often. despite his initial reaction, satoru swears he could feel butterflies with the way your laugh sounds.

“not a common problem for a womanizer, huh?”

“what did you just call me?!-”

“y/n and gojo, do either of you have something to share with the class?” a dark blush of embarrassment covers your face, and somewhere in the back, you could hear geto snickering. gojo just smirks at yaga, seeming completely uanffected. “then i’d suggest you stay quiet the rest of this lesson. don’t make me separate you two.”

“i’d prefer that, actually…” gojo huffs at your comment, thinking of this as a lost opportunity if the two of you get separated. he does a once over at your appearance. you’re cute, but definitely not the party kind. you’re playing hard to get, and gojo finds it adorable–not a lot of girls go that way with him. however, gojo thinks you’re not just like any girl. there’s something different about you that intrigues him.

“did no one ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

“how could i not? you’re so cute.”

“i thought you already learned from the party, gojo. i’m not interested in you.”

the light blush coating your cheeks says otherwise. he smiles cheekily at the way you tried to hide your reaction to his words. you’re an enigma to gojo… and he’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame. he thinks he’s made his decision.

he’s gonna do whatever’s possible to get your number.

when the bell rings 30 minutes later, you shove your notebook into your bag, eager to finally leave the class that you had with that stupid paintbrush. that is, until he stops you with a question. “what class do you have next?”

he’s relentless. “why do you care?”

“i want to walk you to your next class,” he says, and smirks before saying his next words. “it doesn’t really matter if you tell me or not. i’ll just follow you anyways.”

you sigh, absolutely exasperated with him. he’s like a fly who keeps invading your personal space—always coming back no matter how many times you swat it away. he’s right, though. damn him for being stubborn. “i actually have this period free.”

“oh, sweet!” he chirps, walking with you out the door, making sure to greet geto before he leaves the classroom. “let’s go to the courtyard. i’ll buy you a drink from the vending machine-“

“i was gonna do that regardless if you were here or not.” you give him a look, and you can’t help but tug on your sleeves when you see people whisper to each other as you walk the halls with gojo. of course you’ve heard the rumors. the man next to you is the most popular guy on campus. girls glare daggers at you and the guys call his name, although he barely even acknowledges them.

some common things that you’ve heard about gojo around the school are: “i heard he only talks to girls for sex,” “apparently his best friend geto is just as much of a player!” “i mean, who wouldn’t fuck a guy like gojo, though? he’s hot and loaded.” “that’s how he reels you in, though. he gets his hand in your pants and never calls you back again.” you know you should stay away from him, it’s common sense, but it’s hard to stay away from him when he’s the one who glues himself to your side.

“well, now you’ll get a free drink and we’ll get to know each other! isn’t that great?” he smiles and you just grimace at his words.

“i don’t need your money…”

“don’t care! can’t hear you!” he says, and you’ve seriously considered just making a run for it. at least you’ll lose him, and you’d finally be able to find peace for a bit. although, it would cause a scene, and gojo would probably end up finding you again somehow.

“what can i do to get you to leave me alone?”

that piques his interest, even though he looks slightly hurt by your question. he thinks for a bit, and smirks. “i really do want to buy you something from the vending machine.. and i want you to spend your free period with me. i’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day if you do.”

“do you promise? like, actually?”

“mhm! pinky promise!” you feel like you’re talking to a prepubescent boy.

“then sure-“ you’re about to agree, but he cuts you off with one more condition.

“i also want your number.”

you feel like you’ve been cursed by a god, because having the most popular guy on campus be interested in you has got to be the most chaotic thing to ever happen in your life.

“what do you have me saved as?”

the question comes from out of the blue, and you look up from the book you were completely absorbed in. you and satoru were at the school library, on a “study date” as he calls it, although it was more so just gojo inviting himself to wherever place you go, as per usual. this time, you have an exam to study for, and you explicitly told him not to bother you unless absolutely necessary.

you do have to say, though, he’s not annoying as you thought he was. he just nagged you way more the first day he sat next to you in physics so he could get your number. it’s been a few days since then, but still, you’d definitely be more efficient in your studies if you didn’t have him attached to your hip all the time.

“satoru, i told you not to bother me-“

“unless absolutely necessary. yeah, i heard you, and this question needs an absolutely necessary answer! contact names really say a lot about our relationship, y’know.”

“relationship? nobody ever said we were even friends-“

“don’t break my heart like that, babe. plus, you don’t call me gojo anymore! it’s satoru to you now,” his heart warms at that realization, and you scoff, especially at the pet name. “we are friends, unless you’d like to be something more...”

“if you say anything else i’m calling you by your government name. gojo satoru.” he looks especially wounded by that.

“ah! don’t do that, please. it feels like we’re a married couple and you’re really mad at me.” he cries and you can’t help but giggle at his words. you decide to entertain him a little bit, fishing through your pocket to find your phone.

he almost passes out at what he sees on your screen.

“it’s just my number? you didn’t even save my contact?!-“

the shushes from your fellow students and the librarians aren’t even enough to calm gojo’s agony and despair. it also does nothing to stop your laughter, either.

from that day on, gojo’s contact was forcefully changed from his number to “satoru” (he initially added a heart, but you deleted it, much to his disappointment) and one of his many selfies from his stupid instagram account. how the hell can a college student even have thousands of followers?! you think.

gojo just says that nobody can resist his shirtless post-workout selfies. you’re surprised that you didn’t slap him at his words.

you push him away.

everytime gojo buys your favorite drink, (it’s always on him, despite your genuine insistence in saying that you could pay for your drink just fine.) everytime he walks you to all of your classes each day, (he memorized your schedule just so he could do this) everytime he buys you your favorite foods on the rare instances that you let him take you out for lunch, (usually, this requires a lot of begging, and you mostly relent during class when you’re just exasperated and wanted to get some notes down.), and everytime he calls you by those stupid pet names of his, you think back to what the entire student body says about him, and you think back to your phone call with shoko, where she warns you to not associate with him so you don’t get hurt by anyone ever again, and you push him away.

you push him away even when you realize that if he just wanted you for sex, he would’ve stopped chasing after you when you didn’t text him after that night at the party.

and that thought alone scares you.

still, you’re not heartless. satoru’s been asking to take you out for a while, and you finally agreed to go today. he’s especially chipper about your agreement right now, walking with a slight pep in his step as he bit around his ice cream cone.

the park boasts some beautiful scenery today, and little children are out and about. still, you underestimated the weather, and the cold uncomfortably nipped your arms as you internally cursed yourself out for wearing just a shirt. you crossed your arms as a subtle way to shield yourself from the cold.

“don’t play coy with me, y/n. are you cold?” satoru says with a cocky grin, and you huff at his question. surprisingly, he drops the teasing act and unzips his sweater, handing it to you. “here, take it.”

“satoru-“

“i’m not doing this to flirt or whatever you’re thinking right now. you’re shivering, and i’m just concerned for you, so please wear it.” he deadpans, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him be so… upfront? you kind of like it. it’s not him teasing you or him being flirty. it’s just him showing that he genuinely cares for you as a friend. you take the sweater with a nod and put it on, ignoring how your heart is thumping as you take in his signature smell. cedarwood with a little bit of musk. it’s not an overpowering scent, but it still envelopes your senses.

“nevermind. you look so cute with my hoodie on. i feel like we’re in a j-drama right now, y/n!”

you take back everything you just said.

a few minutes later, you two are near the kids playground when you decide to take a break from walking, sitting on a nearby bench with gojo. the chirping of the birds and the wind passing through the trees is quickly overpowered by loud crying. crying from the child right in front of you, in fact.

you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but satoru beats you to it. he kneels in front of the kid, and coos, “hey, buddy. what’s your name, hm?”

he stops crying for a moment to look at gojo and shakily responds, “gumi-um, megumi fushiguro..”

“megumi, huh.” he clicks his tongue for a moment. “why are you crying, megumi?”

“i-i don’t know where my dad is!” he cries, and satoru looks to you for help. you just shrug, unsure of what to do with the lost kid, until gojo’s face lights up, assumingly with a great idea.

“he’s most likely just around here somewhere. you can wait with us, and we’ll help you find him! say, do you want an ice cream to help you feel better, megumi?” the boy hesitantly nods, and satoru gives him a thumbs up as he takes him to the nearby ice cream stand. you’re watching this entire scene unfold, absolutely enamored with gojo for the first time. you didn’t think he had a natural talent with kids—but the way he’s making megumi laugh while he happily snacks on his ice cream says otherwise. an outsider could look at you three and assume that you’re just a happy family.

you try to ignore how that makes you feel.

and as you wave goodbye to megumi once he eventually is reunited with his father again, (an intimidating man who gave you two an appreciative nod as he walked away with his son.) you realize something as you tug on the sleeves of your-satoru’s sweater.

you’re in love with gojo satoru.

and fuck, that revelation scares you more than anything. the last time you had given your heart to a man, he had crushed it repeatedly until you decided that you would never let yourself be vulnerable like that ever again.

and now, you're in love with your school’s notorious playboy—and it feels like you’re setting yourself up to be heartbroken again. you want disregard those rumors and shoko’s words so badly, but they still eat at the back of your mind even though the real gojo satoru is right in front of you, and he doesn’t match the characteristics of the gojo satoru in those rumors at all.

you also remember that he has one real best friend, geto suguru. you like to think that this is also what geto sees in gojo. the reason why he’s stuck around.

the reason why you want to stick around too.

you’re so busy in your head that you’ve just noticed gojo frantically waving his hand in your face. “earth to y/n? oh, good! i thought you had, like, a shock reaction from seeing megumi’s father. he looked a little scary, no?”

“he looks like if a muscle came to life and started talking.” you whisper, and he laughs in agreement. burying your hands into the pockets of his hoodie, you smile. you don’t want to think about your current revelation with gojo right now. instead, you’ll stick with the present. and right now, you like the present.

you just don’t want to think about what this means for your future.

it’s the weekend, and you’re doing some work at the local cafe, gojo-free for once. only god knows what the man is doing at three pm in the afternoon on a saturday. not like you should be thinking about him right now, though. his presence alone has caused you to be behind on your studies, and you need to make sure you catch up.

you have to admit, you were a little unused to the silence. usually, the silence would be filled with gojo’s endless banter with you, as well as his terrible, corny jokes that are so stupid you can’t help but laugh. his seemingly never-ending presence was annoying at first, but now, you’re starting to yearn for his company.

it further fuels the pit of uncertainty in your stomach, and you hate it.

shaking your head with a sigh, you take another bite of your pastry and continue typing up the report on your laptop. the looming thought of this report’s impact on your grade and the need to pass this class helps you forget about satoru for a while. once again, you get lost in your academics.

the ring of the cafe bell breaks you from your trance. it was a natural impulse of yours to glance at everyone who entered the cafe, but once you did this time, you felt your heart drop down to your knees.

it was your ex.

your ex boyfriend who destroyed the notion of love for you, because he made you feel it for a short time, only to throw it all into a pit of fire and leave you scrambling to find nothing but ashes.

if you had to find the true roots as to why you’re so afraid to pursue a new relationship–you always find your ex in the center of it. and now, he’s right in front of you. you have to face him again when you refuse to shamefully admit that you’ve barely even healed from the emotional scars that he’d left behind.

you feel as if an invisible hand has wrapped itself around your throat, blocking your airways and your ability to speak.

out of all the days satoru wasn’t here with you, it had to be this one.

“y/n? is that you, sweetheart?” you wanted to vomit at the way he said your name. he had no right to say it so sweetly, when all he’s ever left behind is venom.

“i don’t want to talk to you.” you cringe at the way your voice cracks, and you avert your gaze from him.

“please, just hear me out for a minute, baby..” he coos, and you hate the way he talks to you as if you were a child. “i know i fucked up, and i can’t change our past… but i can change our future together. if you take me back, i’ll show you how much i’ve changed-”

you don’t know how many times you’ve heard that stupid line before.

“god, you sound like a broken record with how many times you’ve pulled that bullshit on me.” you spat, loud enough to draw commotion in the cafe. your ex has surprise written all over his face–most likely due to your non-compliance to his words. “what, do you say that shit to all your hoes?”

your ex looks around, shrinking a little when he sees all eyes are on him. “now, now, y/n, no need to be like that-”

“be like that… be like that?! you’re telling me to be civil when you’re the one coming in here wanting me back, spouting some bullshit saying that you’ve changed, when i told you to leave me alone already!” you scream, and you could feel the tears bubble up in your eyes. you look down, so you aren’t able to see how everyone’s staring at you with pity. god, you hate pity. it makes you feel weak and vulnerable. the two emotions you absolutely loathe. “i just want you to leave me alone, god. i hate you, why won’t you just-”

“you fucking bitch-” he makes a move to lunge at you, and you instinctively take a step back, pure fear enveloping your senses.

you never feel the impact, though, as you see your ex being restrained by the cafe worker.

you remember him. the man who took your order earlier. he was an older man with a warm smile on his face, although you noticed how his cheekbones were slightly sunken, and he looked a little overworked. you jokingly quipped earlier that he should get some sleep before thanking him for making your order. he just replied, i get that quite a lot.

the size difference between your ex and the man is enough to discourage him from fighting back. he makes quick work your ex, dragging him out the door while he hysterically screams profanities to you on the way out. you assumed the worker threatened to call the police, because your ex scrambled up from the ground and ran away. you hoped this was the last time you would ever see him again.

“are you okay, ma’am? he didn’t hurt you, did he?”

you didn’t even realize that the worker was back inside the cafe. everyone was gradually returning to their own businesses, with the eerie silence being replaced by casual chatter once more. you also didn’t realize how much your hands were shaking, and you huff out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “y-yeah, i’m alright, and he didn’t hit me. i just… need a minute,”

you decide that you aren’t gonna get anymore work done like this, so you pack your laptop into your bag and slump onto the seat with a sigh. you bury your face into your hands. “is it a long story?”

“oh, don’t even get me started.”

he laughs at that, and you ease up a little. “i told him i’d call the police if i ever see him around here again.”

“that’s good to hear. though i’d prefer if i never see him in my life ever again.”

he hums at your words, and he turns to look out the window. “it’s getting dark out. do you want me to call you a cab?”

“no need, i’ll call my boyf–my friend. i’ll call my friend. he’ll uh, pick me up.” you’re still so shaken up you barely even register what you said to him. your eyes are frantic as you turn your phone on and look for gojo’s name in your contacts. you don’t know why you want him to pick you up out of everybody. you could ask utahime or shoko right now, but you just wanted nothing more but to see gojo.

the bell rings again, and you flinch at the sound. thankfully, it was just another customer. the worker sighs. “well, these orders aren’t going to be done themselves. just wave me over if there are any other problems, okay?”

you nod absentmindedly, and he turns to leave, but you stop him. “wait, sir, what’s your name?”

“kento nanami.”

“thank you so much, nanami. i appreciate it.”

“i’m just doing my job.”

“your job is restraining crazy exes of college girls and kicking them out?”

“‘it comes with the job description.” he teases, and you laugh lightheartedly. “and your name is?”

“y/n l/n.”

“anytime, miss l/n. again, just please… call me over if anything happens.”

“will do…” you say, pressing the “call” button on gojo’s contact. the anxiety is hitting you again, and you take a shaky inhale. you’re surprised at how he picks up almost instantly. “hey… satoru? yeah, can you come pick me up, please? i know i don’t normally ask you to do something like this but-”

“did something happen?”

“a lot happened, actually… i’ll text you the address. please, just come soon.”

“of course, y/n.” you could already hear him running out the door, hearing the roar of his car engine coming to life. “i’ll be there as soon as possible.”

he gets to the cafe in five.

you wave goodbye to nanami, thanking him once more as you get in the passenger seat of gojo’s car.

it’s not your first time inside here, but you still can’t help but admire how… expensive everything looks. or maybe you’re just looking around because you’re stalling, and you have no idea where to begin with satoru.

however, you notice that he’s not asking you what happened, and he’s not forcing you to explain anything to him. instead, he switches the gear shift out of parking and says, “do you want me to take you home?”

your eyes widen at his words, and you shake your head no profusely. the last thing you want to be is home alone right now, mainly because your ex knows where you live. you know he most likely won’t go that far with you, especially since nanami knocked some sense into him… but the possibilities still scare you. you take a deep breath before saying your next words.

“...can you take me to your house? i-i’m sorry for asking, i just don’t want to be alone right now cause i’m terrified and-”

“y-yeah. i’ll take you to my house.” he says, and you’ve never seen him so nervous in your life. it almost makes you laugh.

“i’ll explain everything later. i just… wanna be somewhere safe first.” somewhere safe. you find his house as a safe place. gojo doesn’t know how to react. his heart is thumping wildly out of his chest, but he makes sure to put your own comfort before his feelings.

“you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” he says, maintaining his cool by keeping his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.

“but i want to, satoru…” you say. you can’t believe you’re doing this again. you’re crossing so many territories that you were so afraid to cross because of your ex. now, you think you aren’t that afraid anymore. not if you have satoru by your side.

you place one of your cold hands on the gear stick, interlocking it with his. is he… shaking? “thank you for this.”

still. there are so many things you can’t say to him yet. you don’t know when you’ll be able to… or if you’ll ever be able to.

i love you. i love you but i’m too afraid to say it. i just hope that you’ll be able to wait for me.

“god, you’re killin’ me here, y/n.”

that pit of uncertainty in your stomach has grown so large you feel it's about to consume you whole. you don’t think you mind much, though.

the two of you are lounging at his couch after satoru insisted on telling you to make yourself at home. there’s a movie playing, with neither of you paying attention at all, takeout on the coffee table, two glasses and a bottle of wine after gojo didn’t know what drinks to serve, and freaked out by pulling the first expensive drink out from his parents’ alcohol closet. has he never properly invited someone to his home before?

“so in short, you had a crazy ex who saw you at the coffee shop… and he was begging for you to take him back, and when you went off on him he called you a bitch and tried to hit you…” he recalls, a huge grimace on his face. “tch. the cafe worker shouldn’t have let him go like that.”

“i’m sure he learned not to mess with me after getting humiliated in public.. and nanami did more than enough for me.” you retorted, and he gave you a sour look.

“oh, so you know the worker’s name now?” he says, and you could feel the tension build up in the air. oh. so he wants to do this with you? “what, is he your knight in shining armor?”

“he looks like he’s in his late thirties, satoru. i’m not into older guys,” you roll your eyes at his absurd questions and add, “what’s it to you anyway?”

“what’s it to me, y/n?” he repeats your words, and you could feel an argument coming, like you already didn’t have an exhaustive one with your ex. “you know how i feel about you-“

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” your voice is getting louder, all to hide your fear behind the implication of his words. you distance yourself from him on the couch.. much like how you distance yourself from letting satoru get too close to how you truly feel. “we’re not even together, satoru. you don’t get to control the guys that i talk to- hell, have you even seen yourself?”

you’re rambling, and all you want to do is shut up, but you can’t bring yourself to. “i’ve heard what our school says about you. y-you’re a playboy, right? and you only ever talk to girls because you wanna fuck them. i’m not stupid, satoru. i’m not different from any of them, right? you only chase after me because i’m playing hard to get and that pisses you off-“

“what… what are you even saying, y/n?” he asks, and it stops your rambling for a moment. you don’t know what you’re saying. you’re pouring out all the reasons why you’ve tried to push him away, the reasons why you were so afraid to give your heart to him. but now that you say them out loud, they sound outright stupid.

“i started coming to class just to talk to you, i memorized your schedule just so i can walk you to class every morning. i buy you all your favorite food and drinks… i had to memorize your favorites too, by the way. and i have shit memory.” he’s screaming at this point, and you’ve never had satoru scream at you. there are unshed tears in his eyes, and it’s all overwhelming to watch this unfold. “and when you called me, i drove as fast as i could to you because you never call like that and i was fuckin’ worried!”

“so let me ask you a question, y/n… would i do all these things for you just because i want you in my bed?! i’d do anything for you, and you know that!” he’s crying. the gojo satoru is crying, and it’s all for a girl. if you told this to someone in your school, they’d call you a shit-faced liar. gojo satoru doesn’t cry for a girl. he makes them cry.

“i’m sorry for being skeptical, satoru! i just can’t help it when there’s so many rumors about you wanting to fuck girls just for the shit of it – and i’m conflicted on whether or not i should believe them because i want you so bad and i’m scared you’ll end up just breaking my heart and i don’t want that to happen again-”

he cuts you off. “you… what?”

you’re confused at why he looks so surprised, but then you backtrack on your words and you gasp. fuck. why did i say that? you cover your mouth and look away from him, refusing to meet his eyes.

those stupid blue eyes that you know you can’t get enough of.

“y/n… can you please say that again? i don’t want to do anything if i didn’t hear you right.” his voice is soft now, and you swear that you’re dreaming. this isn’t real. right? i’m gonna wake up soon. you dig your nails into the palms of your hands, leaving half-moon marks in their wake. it doesn’t work, and you don’t wake up, and you know you have to accept the fact that this is very real and it’s happening.

this is the worst leap of faith you think you’ve ever had to take in your life.

“i want you so fucking bad, satoru. and i’m realizing that you’re not just the stereotypical rich playboy that everyone talks about on campus—you’re a really great guy, and i guess i’m just scared to face that-” you don’t even realize that satoru’s got you cornered on the couch, and you can’t finish your words as he slots his lips against yours. hard. it’s the most passionate kiss you think you’ve ever had in your life, and it’s got your breath taken away in seconds. holy shit.

you quietly moan against his lips as you kiss back, cupping his face with your hands and wiping his tears away. you wish this moment would last forever, but you pull away so you can breathe. you meet gojo’s eyes, and they’re clouded with lust and desire, but you could tell he’s still a little uncertain. “we’ll talk later… just take me to the bedroom already,”

gojo doesn’t need another confirmation from you, and he lifts you up to carry you to his bedroom, practically tripping on his feet the way there.

a few hours later and a noise complaint from the neighbors, it’s safe to say that gojo satoru was the best one you’ve ever had.

“god, i’m never letting you go, baby.”

he’s tracing hearts onto your bare back. it’s littered with bruises and red scratch marks just from a few minutes ago, but you’ve never felt better in your life. you stare at the man who invited himself into your life just from an encounter at a party, and you thank your lucky stars that you agreed to go with utahime that night. “is something wrong? you’re starin’ again.”

“i’m sorry it took me so long to trust you. i’ve just been scared to open up my heart again, especially after him.” you don’t have to name “him” for satoru to understand.

“i’m sorry too. i just got angry about the rumors and i also disregarded the fact that you’re scared to love again after your ex did all of that shit and-” he pauses, and sighs. “sorry. i’m rambling again.”

he pulls you into another kiss, and this time, it’s sweeter, lighter, and full of love. “i’m going to show you what it looks like to really be loved, because it’s definitely not the shitty picture that your ex painted in your head. there’s way more to it than that.”

“i love you, y/n.”

“thank you, toru.” you whisper. maybe, one day, you’ll be able to find the courage to say it back. and it’s okay, because gojo is willing to wait an eternity for you.

he’ll wait an eternity for you to teach you how to love again.

“look at how beautiful you are…” gojo says, appearing out of nowhere as he wraps an arm around your waist. you yelp, staring at your boyfriend through the mirror. he’s wearing a classic black tuxedo, with no doubt it being very expensive. it compliments the glimmering rolex on his wrist, and the thoughts running through your head about him and his outfit sets fire to your stomach.

“look at yourself first, toru… god, we should just stay home,” you tease, turning around to pull him into a deep kiss. it’s a friday, and gojo’s taking you out to attend geto’s party tonight. the two of you are going for several reasons. he wants to introduce you to his bestfriend, since you realized that you’ve never actually formally met geto before. it’ll also be your first formal “couple appearance”, as if gojo being attached to your side all the time doesn’t say enough about the two of you already.

gojo pulls away, which surprises you. you pout at the expression on his face. “as much as i want to, suguru’s been bugging about you all week. i really do think it’s time for you to meet him,”

“hmph. alright.”

“i’m tearing that dress off of you the second we get home, though.”

“satoru!”

“what?! not my fault my girl looks so damn hot all the time!”

this night is going amazing.

when satoru walks with you through the front doors, arm wrapped around your waist and the dress you picked out for tonight glimmering, you feel a little shy. the guys all whistle at the two of you, and the girls whisper amongst each other, but you and gojo don’t care. in his eyes, you’re the only girl he sees. the only girl worth being with here.

“wanna go get drinks?” he asks you, cerulean eyes showing underneath his sunglasses. you nod, walking to the kitchen with him. you’re getting severe deja vu… you can’t believe you met gojo at the last party you were at. and now you’re at another party, with gojo as your date. you scan the crowd for utahime or shoko, wondering what you would say to them if they saw you with the man they specifically told you not to mess with.

it’s alright, though. shoko was wrong about those rumors, and gojo’s proving it to you.

“satoru!” the playful voice greets your boyfriend, and you turn to see geto suguru. you’ve seen him around campus, and he sits somewhere in the back of your chem class. you haven’t really had the opportunity to talk to him, though… and he looks a little intimidating.

“you must be y/n,” he says, offering you a freshly opened smirnoff from the drinks on the countertop. you thank him and grab the drink, taking a swig.

“yup! my lovely girlfriend,” gojo lets go of his arm around your waist to grab a drink.

“you probably don’t know this, but i’ve been his wingman.” he smiles at gojo, who’s pouting, like he’s preparing himself for what suguru is about to say. “he’s batshit crazy for you, its insane.”

“oh? do tell.”

“when the two of you got together, he left me a voicemail at like… four in the morning? anyway, he was screaming about how he was the happiest guy in the world… or something.”

“that’s because i was!” you’re laughing at how unashamed satoru is about this.

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” geto clicks his tongue, pulling out his phone. “and he’s reposted you on insta to like, every drake song-”

“alright, me and y/n are gonna go dance.” he interrupts suguru, and drags you away from his best friend with a yelp. “nice talkin’ to you, suguru!”

“hey, i wanted to know more!-”

“shh, you don’t need to know about all of that.” the two of you are in the living room, in the midst of all the bodies dancing and grinding against each other. he pulls you close to him, and you feel his hot breath against your neck. “you look so beautiful tonight, y/n.”

“same for you, handsome. let’s dance, shall we?” you wrap your arms around him and just sway to the beat. you’ve never been much of a dancer, but everything feels natural as long as gojo’s with you.

suddenly, the music changes, and one dance starts playing. you two look at each other, and you both burst out laughing at the same time. “have you reposted me to this song?”

“duh. it’s a classic.”

“can’t disagree with that.” you say, finding yourself grinding against satoru while wizkid’s part plays in the background. it feels like such a perfect night–you’re pulling satoru into a deep kiss, and he shoves his tongue down your throat while he’s leading you to a nearby couch. you’re seated on his lap, mimicking practically every couple in this party tonight.

suddenly, you pull away, and you whisper, “i need to use the bathroom.”

satoru smirks at your words, thinking that it’s a hint for something else, and you give him a sour face. “want me to join you-”

you hit his chest playfully. “that’s not code for anything, you perv. i actually need to piss.”

he’s pouting at your words, but he lets you off his lap anyway, and holds your drink for the time being. “it’s at the second door in the hall to your right. be quick, please.”

“no duh. i’ve got a cute date to come back to,” you say, walking away and traversing all of the bodies that smell like sweat and alcohol. you’re a little unused to this environment, but it’s alright. you fix up your makeup in the bathroom and freshen up a little, walking back to the living room to find satoru again.

you wish you never did.

you were gone for four minutes. five minutes max. you come back to satoru, and your breath hitches at the sight.

on his lap was a random chick that looked like every other girl at this party. she was practically naked, since her outfit didn’t do much to cover her skin at all.

fuck.

you remember the first time you saw gojo at the last party you went to. the sight wasn’t that different compared to the one now. there were girls all over him, all fighting for his attention. and yet, it seemed that night, his attention was focused solely on you.

what bullshit that was.

your eyes are blurry, and the music is muffled in your ears. white noise fills your senses, and all you want to do right now is run.

so you do.

you run, not caring if gojo saw you at all or not. you run out of the party, eternally grateful that you didn’t pick out heels for tonight and settled for much simpler shoes. you run, despite the fact that you drew geto’s attention. you were already out the door before he could ask what was wrong. you run, just wanting to get away from everyone and everything. you run with no particular destination in mind. you stop running when you almost get run over on a red light, the car honking at you–screaming profanities as it drives by. it breaks you from your trance, and you sit on the curb of the sidewalk, letting all of your tears out on what was supposed to be a perfect night.

of course gojo didn’t think that you were different. you were just like every other girl to him.

stupid. stupid. stupid. you’ve never felt so stupid in your life.

when geto sees you running out the door with unshed tears in your eyes, he immediately panics. what the hell happened?

he goes through every room of the house, trying to find gojo, when he hears a bunch of commotion in the living room. he runs there, pushing past everyone, only to find a total disaster inside.

he sees gojo screaming at a girl dressed like a stripper, who was on the ground with tears in her eyes. satoru looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel with how pissed he looks. there’s a crowd forming at this point, and geto knows he needs to intervene, so he drags his bestfriend away, who looks so distraught that geto could just wonder what the fuck happened.

they’re outside now, and its significantly a lot more quiet out here compared to all of the chaos inside. all the noise is coming from gojo—who won’t stop crying, and geto has no idea what to do or where to even begin. “fuck!”

“dude, what the fuck happened!?” satoru looks like he’s feeling every emotion at once. he looks pissed, pissed enough to punch a wall, and geto’s a little afraid that gojo might actually do that–or worst-case scenario, punch him. he’s crying, and geto hasn’t seen gojo cry ever since he fell off a swing in pre-k, so what happened must be really fucking serious.

“i don’t KNOW what happened, goddamnit! y/n went to use the bathroom and some slu- some girl came up to me and threw herself on my fucking lap! i was gonna tell her to fuck off but y/n saw before i was able to and now she’s gone and she probably thinks that i’m just some cheater when i’ve worked so hard to get her to trust me and-FUCK!”

he stops, trying to calm down a little, and gojo takes the shakiest breath he thinks he’s ever taken in his life. the red in his vision starts to fade, but he still feels helpless. “i just don’t know what to fucking do, suguru.”

“i just saw y/n run out of my house a few minutes ago.” he says with a grimace, and he’s trying to figure out what to tell his bestfriend. “i’ve never seen you like this over a girl before. holy shit, you really love her, do you?”

geto thinks that gojo’s bloodshot eyes, the brutal names that he called that girl at the party, and the tears he’s shed for you are already an answer.

“this is your last chance to prove it to her, satoru.” geto fumbles through his pockets and hands him the keys to his challenger. gojo snatches them, hearing the car engine rumbling itself to life. the white-haired man thanks his best friend as he steps into the drivers’ side, with geto reassuring him, ‘ill deal with the chaos inside, you go ahead and explain yourself to your girlfriend’.

gojo swears that he’s never driven so fast in his whole life.

part 2 :)

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