#this has been the only thing ive been thinking of for the past 2 days

[watcherthrowaway]

also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...

no one knew who i was talking about.

these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc

so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.

this time, crickets.

i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers

because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.

i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops

the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'

not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'

even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?

and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.

why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?

i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.

they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.

that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.

bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.

and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.

this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.

my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...

there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.

and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.

goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.

and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.

but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.

[undercoverpigeon413]

Frisk and my idea of what monster kid would look like in Slumbertale! ^^ [au by @rainingskeletons - sorry for the tag. Love your au and art <3]

Monster kid's boots are based on Undyne's, and their stripes are shaped slightly more like Undyne's gills bc they look up to her in Undertale! I also gave them a little hood and tiny stars on the dinosaur (is this how you spell it?) like spikes :] update: didn't realize we had already gotten to see what monster kid looked like! :'D

[lemongogo]

can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

right. so. i meant to be writing the thasmissy fic. i did not do that but

i can explain

[be-good-to-bugs]

i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa

[wishful-seeker]

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

[thebuttsmcgee]

[smalltestaccount]

196 Migration

If you’re not aware, the subreddit r/196 is going offline tomorrow (the 12th) in a protest along with multiple other subreddits against a decision reddit has made to their API pricing. 196 is one of the largest LGBT centric meme subreddits. The deal being that 196 will be shut down until reddit backs down from their stupid decision. Other subreddits are only going to be offline for a few days. 196 held this massive decision to a poll where about 60% said the subreddit should be privated indefinitely. Despite what people say, this will be an almost certain permanent end to the Subreddit. I think that anyone who believes that the chance of 196 coming back after the 12th has not thought it through very much and I consider this putting this to a poll to have been very stupid on the moderators parts as a lot of people clearly do not fully understand the likely outcome.

In short, Reddit is going to win this no matter how it’s sliced. Reddit will only back down their decision if the money they can squeeze from API pricing is larger than the loss in ad revenue from the protest. Many large subreddits that are closing will only be down for a few days. This results in a small dip in site usage, yes, but it definitely won’t cause significant issue to Reddit. However when all these subreddits come back there will be an uptick in site traffic, generating Reddit more money. The only way Reddit will lose money is with a decrease in active users, which is why some people want the subreddit to go down indefinitely, they want to leave Reddit and take many 196 users with them. Reddit definitely will not be backing down, the chance of that happening is minuscule. Therefore 196 will not come back.

196 is a special community on Reddit as it one of the largest subreddits with a strong LGBT presence and unique culture. 196 leaving will have many negative effects on the Reddit ecosystem. There are other LGBT subreddits that will very likely be shutting down too (for other reasons) such as r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns which is one of the largest trans subreddits. 196 has a large overlap with circle jerk subreddits, over the past year or so the relationship between 196 users and circle jerk subreddits has been quite important as they essentially have formed their own ecosystem as a place that LGBT teens and young adults feel comfortable in when Reddit as a whole is more dangerous. When 196 closes some people will leave for Tumblr TikTok and Twitter due to their main source of posts going dry. Circle jerk subs will start to reduce down to the users that do not consume content from 196, a group of people that is on average more conservative than the subreddits as wholes are with 196 users. This political shift on circle jerk subreddits will cause two things, 1: lgbt people feeling less comfortable on circle jerk subs and 2: circle jerk subs doing less circle jerking, due to less users and also a reduced interest in calling out bigoted posts on other subreddits. That will very likely become a negative feedback loop where circle jerk subs become increasingly similar to Reddit as a whole. And the effect that this will have on Reddit is going to be a general trend to become more conservative as the socially progressive community on Reddit shrinks with 196s departure. It’s likely a new or existing subreddit will replace 196 (a subreddit with less moderation tools and none of the user blacklists from 196), but by the time that subreddit comes about it will not reach the size 196 did. 196 leaving will have a permanent impact on Reddit as atleast some people will be reducing Reddit activity of leaving permanently. Reddit likely won’t become a new 4chan, but I would not be surprised if it became more similar to Facebook.

And a trans woman I must also feel the need to say that with r/traa and 196 very likely closing a large community of transfems will be displaced online. In the past 6 years Ive been a trans woman on the internet I can say fairly confidently that Reddit has been one of the most popular sites for trans women to congregate at, along with discord. Trans women are very likely a majority of the trans community on Reddit however on other sites like TikTok and here on tumblr trans women are definitely a smaller minority of the community. I feel like I should’ve just put that out. Right now is a scary time to be a young trans woman and two of the largest online places of support for young trans women closing doors will have negative impacts on the trans community.

Many 196 users who are smart enough to see what lies ahead are finding ways of congregating outside of Reddit. Besides the small social media sites that will obviously die before getting off the ground, tumblr is the most recommended place to call a new home. I know this sounds familiar to what happened with twitter, and the idea of Redditors coming to tumblr is quite scary. But I assure that 196 users are not dissimilar to tumblr users.

196 users migrating here to tumblr are using the tags #196 and #r/196. I will be posting some of my 196 and old r/traa posts under these. As a pseudo archive. I’ll also reblog and post as some of my favorite posts I wish to remember. Hopefully a migration of 196 users to tumblr is successful (though unlikely), if that happens I will try to post memes in the style of 196 posts. I know that I am an incredibly small account that is mostly inactive, so neither this post nor future posts will get much visibility. But I want to be here to support those trying to migrate

[destructive-path]

Fan. - E.W.

a/n: Hi! This is the first one shot i have ever written so i would appreciate some feedback in the comments please! (but pls be nice) This is ur average ao3 coded fic with no proofread and bad grammar to ease you in to what i plan on posting if all goes well!

summary - jackson au where basically the entire pt.2 never happened, Ellie is older, Joel is alive. Instead of falling for Dina, Ellie has a fascination with a girl (you) that swims at the local creek near jackson.

( I imagine farm ellie looks here bc im a mullet enthusiast )

warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY mdni, smut, kissing, mentions of sex, fingering (r receiving), service top! ellie, sub! reader, oral (r receiving), pet names,

word count : 8.5K (I KNOW SHE’S A BIT HEFTY BUT ITS WORTH IT IMO)

Jackson summers were painfully hot. Maybe it was the effects of the extensive bombing that took place when everything went to shit. Or maybe it was just living in the apocalypse that made everything unbearable. Everything was out to kill you, including the heat. Great.

You could cut the air with a knife. In this time of scarce recourses there wasn’t a lot of remedies people could access to alleviate the sheer heat that surrounded them. There was an occasional establishment in city limits that was graced with a limited amount of air conditioning. (In summers jackson preserved the generators for more important things) Although it never really stayed cool for long anyways because every citizen that wasn’t on patrol or working an assigned shift could be found in one of these buildings.

Fans were like gold during these times. If you were lucky to have one it was most likely scored on patrol, which was rare. So whatever chance you got, you found yourself at a creek just outside of jacksons walls to cool down. It was a flowing stream that kept cool year round, surrounded with trees and engulfed in shade from the sun.

Lots of people your age could be found there during these excruciating summer days. Mostly young adults, those old enough to be assigned on patrol with the exception of the occasional teenager. It was a safe space for younger people to get away from the effects that summer had on authority figures of jackson. To be fair the heat made everyone a little irritable, but you could only take so much.

You had almost made it to your sacred spot before a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Hey there little minnow” A soft but somewhat gruff voice states behind you.

You must have been so consumed with getting to your destination that you had failed to hear the footsteps of your fairly recently acquainted swimming partner close behind you.

It wasn’t an intentional initial meet cute, one day while you were enjoying your solitude she emerged from the trees. Her eyes were wondering in search of something but when they landed on you in the water, the curious stare faded and she asked if she could join you. You Accepted.

She wasn’t always there when you were but you had begun to notice that she has been attending the spot more frequently the past few weeks. You never said many words to each other, both using this time as more of a solitary escape than a social vacation. You couldn’t deny though, she had a presence that felt intimidating…yet comforting? So you never dismissed her. Maybe just admired observed her unique demeanor from a distance. Only ever exchanging words on occasion.

You slowly spun around to face her, taken aback by the new nickname that left her lips.

“Minnow?” You state teasingly, your raised brow coaxing a chuckle out of the girl.

“Ive seen you out here almost everyday.”

She looks down in a sort of bashful way. Clutching the strings of her bag on her shoulders in a fidgety manner.

“Like this creek is your home or something…honestly now that im thinking about it I dont know if Ive ever seen you anywhere in jackson but here.” She scratches the back of her neck and repositions upright. The bottom of her shirt lifts at the tug of her elbow upwards to gain better access to her neck. This action exposes her slightly tanned stomach and a v line practically begging you to stare at it.

You inhale. As you think about the times you have laid eyes on her you realize its always been the way she looks now. A slightly grown out mullet pushed back with a thin black headband, some sort of sports bra underneath a slightly cropped muscle tee, with short swimming trunks that stop a little less than halfway on her thighs. She always had slightly sun kissed cheeks and freckles that decorate her entire face in various places. Exhale. Maybe you do come here too much.

“I could say the same for you too, you know. This was my spot first.” You rebuttal in a playful tone, crossing your arms.

The young woman throws her hands up in defense and steps a little closer to you. You can see a layer of sweat rolling off her now.

“Fair, fair…you dont mind do you? Every other corner of this stream but this one is overrun by like- loud jackson youths. I just need somewhere I can cool down and relax. Away from the noise you know? If im honest the only reason I found this place is because I saw you sneaking away from the usual crowded section.”

Her eyes meet yours in search of something. Acceptance? Maybe just a sign that you dont think shes a creep? You cant help but blush at the thought of her eyes following you, curious of your endeavors.

She notices this.

“Its fine.” You state calmly. Genuinely. Which makes her smile as she watches you turn on your heels to continue to the stream.

“Just as long as you dont call me a minnow anymore…” You pause. In search of her name. You remember she told you the first time she swam with you.

“…Ellie. Right?” You keep walking ahead listening to her steps slightly behind you.

“Right. And got it, no more fish related nicknames. I like swimming here with you. Id hate to fuck it up.” You can hear the smirk in her tone. You try to shake it off but you cant. She enjoys your time together…Noted.

—

You make it to the edge of the stream and stop at a patch of grass where you normally put your things. This time Ellie settles next to you instead of her usual spot a few patches over.

“Can I ask why you come here so much? I feel like you have to be half fish.” You laugh at this, taking a liking to her humorous side as opposed to the usual quietness you are used to.

“Pretty much the same reason you do. That, and I dont have a fan in my room, so this is the only way I can stay cool in summer. ” You reply as you began to remove the clothes that served as a sort of practical cover up from the journey from your house to the stream.

Ellie hums in response and watches as you peel of the top that was clinging you your body on the walk here. Revealing the only bikini u had the luck of finding in this current state of the world. You were now only in your swim suit peering down at your own reflection in the water. Ellie stands up behind you, motivated by your new state and removes her black headband and muscle tee then tosses them ontop of her own belongings as she makes her way to stand next to you by the stream.

She is close. Closer than shes ever been before, which isnt even really THAT close. But for some reason its enough for you to notice. You can smell her now. The need to sneak a look at her state from this distance overcomes you. You can see some scars on her face you didnt notice before. A small pit in your stomach begins to form and u turn to look back at your own reflection in the water. Her gaze averts away from the stream and towards your direction. You shift your eyes to look at her reflection in the water until you muster enough strength to meet her gaze next to you. Ellies mullet has now fallen around her face and is stuck to her temples and forehead due to the heat. The green in her eyes impossible to ignore, almost as if they were daring you to swim in them and not the water next to you. The pit in your stomach grows a little larger but you cant think of anything to say. Luckily (as if she read your mind) she speaks up.

“Jump in on three?” She asks. You Nod.

“One” says ellie

“Twooo” You drag

“THREE!” You both shout and finally break eye-contact to jump into the cold water.

This day was different than the others, you both knew it.

—

After swimming for what felt like no time at all, (but both of you determined had been several hours due to the sun’s dramatic new position) you decided to leave the coldness of the water and return back to jackson city limits.

The walk back was silent. A juxtaposition to the time you two had spent together in the water. Maybe you were silently soaking in all the information you had learned about Ellie or maybe it was because your time together was almost over. This swim session was filled with questions about each other, statements about jackson and various basic getting to know each other things. Ellies questions were unique. She asked you things no one had before. It was as if she was desperate to know you, like she had already had an arsenal of questions ready for the moment you two had finally decided to get to know each other. Your questions came naturally, but still revealed a side to her that you could never predict yourself.

She was an artist. She was a killer, of man and monster alike. Mostly everyone was these days. Although, her stories and the journey it took to get Jackson was something you would never forget. Ellie loved jokes and comics and space. Nerd. She asked you lots (lots) of questions about your own theories of how the universe worked. You could tell your perspective was as interesting to her as the subject itself. You told her about your own interests which also seemed to dazzle her in a way even you couldn’t explain. Getting to know each other reminded you of reading a really good book, or traveling to somewhere new. Theres was so much to learn. So much to still unravel, details to notice. You didn’t want to stop getting to know Ellie. And she didn’t want to stop talking to you.

So the silent walk back was interrupted by Ellies voice.

“Um-you mentioned you dont have a fan in your room?” She asks, already knowing the answer but mostly seeing if you would fall into the trap she had been asking herself the entire walk back to jackson if she should set. You shake your head and respond.

“I do not unfortunately. Never got lucky enough on patrol to find one. I look every time though, and nothing. My guess is all of the ones within our patrol areas got taken by jackson citizens. If I wanted to find one these days I would probably have to journey for miles.” You state plainly. Curious why she asked, so you ask.

“Why?”

She looks up from her shifting feet.

“Well, I uh- have one. In my room…A fan. If you were still feeling hot.”

She steps closer.

“We could go there and continue to cool down...” Shes looking directly at you again. Her green eyes are begging for you to accept her seemingly gracious (but really somewhat selfish) offer. You cant help but swallow, hard.

You accept and she leads you to her place.

—

As you enter Ellies home everything she had told you at the creek before makes more sense. Its almost as if her personality had been stripped from her and placed on the walls and shelves around you. You had never seen a room with so much stuff. A part of you was curious on how she had collected so many items over the years. These days you had forgotten that was an option, you had become too consumed by other things to remember to have a personality of your own to decorate your home with.

You liked it in her room. Well liked was an understatement. You silently paced around the space taking note of everything you saw. Posters, figurines, lots of books and comics. You began to notice her art that was sprawled all over the room in various corners. She was talented. You noticed a guitar and a record player with lots of vinyls next to it. She had mentioned a guardian of hers had a large influence on her love for music. You made a mental note to make sure she showed you her appreciation for music sometime. As you continued to take in everything in silence, Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off you. She watched the way you hesitantly touched the occasional item. Her stomach did flips each time you stared a little longer than normal at a sketch or painting you had discovered around the space. Each little hmm or ah that exited your mouth left her with a mountain of curiosity. She wanted to know every thought behind every item you saw. She was overwhelmed by your presence in her space. You were here. Admiring her things, in her room, alone with her.

“So, what do you think?” Ellies asks.

“Of your room?”

“No of the fan.” She gestures to a grey fan slowly moving side to side placed near the corner of her bed.

“Oh. Its nice.”

“Im joking. Just nice?”

“Jerk. Your room is cool.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. I like your art.”

Ellie gestures to the art you have been observing for the last few minutes.

“Oh you mean this art?” She asks in a playfully sarcastic tone. You catch her smirking this time, not wanting to give her the full satisfaction so you decide to continue with the playful dialogue she has struck.

“Mmmhm, Id like to meet the artist someday. Do you think you could introduce me?” You ask. Now mirroring Ellie’s smirk.

“Woooooow.” She scoffs in response only making your smirk turn into a much wider grin.

“Ohhh!” You continue your game. Ellie continues to laugh whilst matching the increasing smile now on both of your faces.

“Is this? This cant be your art? I mean its actually good. I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a young van gogh.” You tease. Hoping you didn’t offend her with the comparison to the only artist you could remember. Now you are both laughing.

“Oh come on.” She rolls her eyes.

“Im no Van gogh.” She states boldly. Your laughter dies down slightly as you both continue to stare at a painting she had been working on. She turned her gaze back to you.

“You know Van goh was like, criminally underrated in his prime? He was deemed untalented by those who viewed his work when he was alive.” You smiled at the knowledge she decided to share with you.

“Ah so you do have something in common.” you turn to face her fighting a smile, wanting to see her reaction.

“Ohhh okay… whos the jerk now?” She asks as her head tilts slightly to the side, lips back in smirk position.

You dont respond immediately. Soaking in the effortlessness of you and Ellies rebuttal. You search for words to change the subject, but, in this moment you cant help but notice her current state. Shes in diffferent clothes now. The change must have happened as you were distracted admiring ellies room. She was dressed in dark blue boxers and a white longsleeve sleep shirt with the top two silver buttons left unclasped. The longsleeve was slightly oversized and stopped just above her waist with the sleeves pushed to her elbows. Her boxers were slightly shorter than the swimming trunks you were used to. The pit in your stomach had reappeared again. Noticing her now dry hair didnt help much either. It was very much disheveled sticking out every which way. Ellies fringe framed her face in a way that made your cheeks turn red. It was only then, when the heat on your face was significantly more prominent did you realize how long you had been staring.

Your gaze returns to Ellies eyes and the playful demeanor she once had was gone. Instead it was replaced with something much more. Her eyebrows were knit and her bottom lip was now under them punishment of her teeth. She looked at you as if you were a painting. Not one in a museum, more like one of her own. A piece of art she could only imagine in her head. A blank canvas she needed to decorate. Afraid one wrong stroke could ruin you. She looked at your arms, legs, stomach, chest. Ellie studied you with such intensity you thought you would dissolve under her stare. Your breathing increased. You swallow hard.

“Ellie.” You say, hoping to ease her piercing stare. Its no use. Shes lost in the observation of you.

She stands from her sitting position and slowly walks towards your direction, still saying nothing. Ellie still hadnt made direct eye contact for a while, so you took this moment to look at her face. You wanted to notice every facial expression she made whilst discovering your body. You watched her mouth part to support the fact that she was now breathing as hard as you were. With every step ellie inched closer you spotted something new. A freckle or scar, the slight pink of her lips, the twinge of brown in her astonishingly green irises.

She was inches away from you now, still refusing to acknowledge your eyes. Your instincts made u step away from her like two negative sides of a magnet. The more she moved into you the more you moved away. There wasnt much room for you to avert her. You continued this dance until you were met with the hardness of her desk behind you. The solid surface made contact with the lower half of your behind, leaving you no choice but to seize your movements away from ellies unwavering advances.

She stops and places her hands on either side of you. Your trapped now. Ellie is gripping her desk like she would fall over if she didn’t. Shes so close yet not touching you at all. Your breaths are now synched. You look at ellies neck and see her swallow hard. When you look at her face she still hasn’t gained the bravery to look you in the eye. Instead she has her eyes fixed on your slightly parted lips. She looks at them as if they were a cold glass of water just out of reach. A perfectly good dessert thrown in the trash. She looked at your lips as if she needed them to stay alive. Like it was painful.

How did you get here? One moment you two had been playful and lighthearted and now the room was filled with tension as thick as the hot air outside. The pit in your stomach returned with a great force.

Noticing this, you decided to be brave. You allowed your tongue to swipe itself through the part of your lips, wetting them for whatever was to come next. Ellie let out a shakey sigh of relief. Followed by a soft hum. Her head lowered in order to get a closer look at your newly damp lips, her eyebrows knit even more at the sight of them from this new angle.

Slowly but steadily her hand began to rise from its grip on the desk behind you. Her palm inched closer and closer to your face. Only until her hand had risen past your shoulders did you notice its presence, distracted by the concentration in her eyes. She froze for a moment molding her hand into a lazy cuping formation mere centimeters from your cheek.

She was shaking. Ellies breathing had picked up slightly. You took this opportunity to look away from her hand and back to her eyes, still not on yours. The painful yearning look was still painted on her face. As if she ran a marathon in order to connect with you but couldnt go the last mile, like she needed your permission to cross the finish line. So you moved your head forward and slowly wiggled into the crescent her long and slender fingers had formed so close to your face. As if you were begging her to become your own personal champion. You wanted to be her prize. Ellies breathing stopped.

For a moment there was pure silence. Every sound around you from the fan by the corner of her bed to the hum of jackson civilization became muffled. Everything in you ached for her finish what you two had started, whatever it was.

You leaned into the warmth her fingers provided biting back a whine for something more. Only then, when Ellie noticed you dripping with desperation did the first words in several minutes get uttered.

“Can I kiss you?” Ellie whispers in a low tone. You were sure you wouldnt have been able to hear it if she hadnt been so close. The heat emitting from her hand on your flushed cheek had become scalding. Unable to utter a word because you were afraid your voice might crack, you nod.

Ellie mirrors your prior actions and licks her own lips to alleviate the dryness her heavy breathing had caused. Green eyes still trained on your parted lips.

You feel the soft grasp she has on your cheek shift slightly. Her thumb strokes your cheek unbearably slow, inching closer and closer until it finds its place at the corner of your mouth. She pauses for a second, inhales-then swipes the digit slowly across your lower lip. This causes you to inhale deeply. Ellie had barely touched you at all, her intimate gesture crumbled what ever composure you thought you had left. You were going mad and extremely needy. Heart racing faster than ever. Then once she was done with the first touch your bottom lip, she swipes her finger even slower back across your top one. You swear the roughness of her finger tip is stained in your memory forever.

This causes you to become weak.

You sink into the desk behind you slightly leaning on it due to the fact that your knees no longer seemed to function. Ellie becomes the support of your head as your neck becomes limp after she had taken whatever strength you had at the delicate touch of your lips. Fuck. fuckfuckfuck.

You start to think its impossible for Ellie to look you in the eye. She had become entranced by your lips. You have yet to look away from her eyes which were still focused on the one place you wanted her most. It was evil that she has yet to meet your stare.

“Ellie..” You whispered once more. Yearning for something, anything. Then, as if she could hear your thoughts before they left your mouth for the second time today (at this point you were convinced) she began to grant you your wish.

Ellie pressed her head against yours for a moment and exhaled. “What are you doing to me?” She asks, in that painful tone you saw oozing out of her demeanor earlier. You cant find the words because you honestly dont know what you have done to make her want you this way. All you can think, see, hear is Ellie, ellieellieellieellieellie. So instead you plead for her. “Please look at me Ellie.”

She becomes more malleable each time you utter her name.

Ellies eyes rose to meet yours. Finally. Then your lips meet. It was as if your stare had pulled her in. When eye contact had been made she couldn’t stay away anymore. You thought that was maybe why it took her so long to return her gaze to yours. If she did, she couldn’t stop herself from doing whatever she wanted with you. But you didn’t care. You needed Ellie.

You both sigh into the kiss, eye contact unbroken for a moment. Sure most people would consider open eyes during this moment strange, it didn’t bother you though. It had felt like eons since she had graced you with direct eye contact. You needed it so desperately you refused to look away. So did she. So you kissed like this for a moment.

Her eyebrows had scrunched together again at the sight of your own eyes trained on hers, matching desperation. This made you sink even further into her grasp. Finally finding the courage to reach out and grab onto her, you placed your hands on either side of her waist pulling her into you. This new closeness made both of your eyes snap shut. You swam in the feeling of her lips on yours. She was as comforting as the stream that had brought you together.

Ellie was remarkably soft. Images of her once rugged state appeared in your head furthering the intensity you were feeling. How could someone who appeared so tough, be so malleable? So gentle? The curiosity made you whine for more. More and so much more. Her lips belonged on yours. Each slip and slide of your swollen pink lips on each other further ignited what you both thought was long gone. You couldn’t stay silent, moans and whimpers escaping from you left and right. This only made Ellie hold you tighter. Kiss you harder.

She ran her hands to the underside of your exposed thighs until her hands were where she wanted them. Her grip tightened on your skin as she lifted you onto her desk. Painting materials shifted behind you due to your presence. This action caused you to squeal slightly, which drove Ellie mad. She grabbed your waist and brought your clothed core against her own. This new position made Ellie moan into your mouth.

It was a sound that made your whole body become hot. The once soft kiss had turned into a dance for dominance. Your hands traveled from her waist to the back of her mullet due to the new position. You tugged on Ellies hair as if it would bring you closer in her already impossibly tight embrace. This action coaxed another moan out of her mouth against your lips and she broke contact for the first time in what felt like hours. Ellie left her forehead connected with yours and suddenly she was back to her harsh breathing state.

“Shit.” She curses and breaks her gaze on your swollen lips to meet eyes that are already trained on her. “Your driving me crazy” She pecks your lips. “Those pretty fucking noises you make are driving me crazy baby.” Ellie states in that dangerously intoxicating tone. You both breathe harshly. You can still feel her hands on the small of your back underneath your shirt.

A devilish grin forms on your lips which turns into a breathy laugh coming from both parties. She interrupts your laughter with another peck on your lips. and another. and another. You are both still laughing. You cant tell if its because everything was moving so fast or because how good you feel in this moment. Thats a conversation for later.

“You taste-“ Ellie starts in a whisper.

“Like the lake?” You cut her off.

She laughs at your answer and deepens the kiss once more. “Mhhmm” She hums into your mouth. Then pulls away.

“Wait how did you know?”

“Because you taste like the lake.” You moan back pulling her in to kiss you again. She pulls away.

“Shit, is it bad?” She inquires in a concerning voice.

“Do I taste bad?” You ask.

“No, you taste like fresh water and the feeling of outside? Its like oddly addicting.” Shes scratching your back now and it’s making your head spin.

“Good. You dont taste bad either. You taste really good actually.” You say shakily. Your brain has become foggy due to Ellies-well everything. Her smell, her voice, her hands on your body.

“Yeah?” She asks and leans back to observe the effect she has on you. Ellie loves how out of it you are. She needs more.

You nod slowly and hum whilst wrapping your hands around her neck again to pull her head closer to yours. Before she can enclose the space between you, she whispers something against your lips.

“Can I lay you down on my bed pretty baby?” Shes begging you now. Ellie is drunk on your touch and reassurance. You mistake her desperation for confidence at the new nickname for you that leaves her lips. You cant do any thing but whine and wrap yourself around her. Legs surround her waist and arms settled on her broad shoulders. You crane your head against her neck and whisper your response in her ear.

“Please Ellie.” You drag out slowly. She shivers at the feeling of your breath against her neck. Ellie runs her hands over your legs making sure you are securely wrapped around her. Then she grasps your butt to lift you off her cluttered desk. The grip she has on you there sends a shock to your core. You cant help but moan and sink further into the crook of her neck. She chuckles at your sensitivity to her touch. Which only sends you further into bliss. Theres something so tantalizing about the fact that you were falling apart so easily and you had barely been touched. You both could feel it. Ellie holds you close until she reaches her bed and gently places you on her dark green covers.

Almost as soon as you hit the mattress she was on you again. Ellie had one hand on the side of your stomach just above your waist. She had slipped that hand under the shirt you had on and was touching your skin directly. Her other hand was propped in a way that help her upper body stay upright, but her lower half was slotted in between you. You continued making out like this.

The friction of your bodies was becoming more and more intense. The hand that was touching you began exploring your body. From caressing your stomach to your back and down to your butt to pull you closer into her lower half. “So soft.” Ellie barely whispers just loud enough for you to hear.

Your hands had found their way underneath ellies shirt and clawed at her back desperately. You tried to mirror her caresses of you on her back, but her touch and kiss was so overwhelming all you could do was grasp at nothing but skin. Leaving scratches she would sport proudly at a later time.

“Your body feels so good against mine.” She says against your ear making your hips buck up to hers. The slotted position makes your core connect with her thigh. And your thigh to her core. Ellie hissies and grips your hips in that position so you cant move as she rolls her own hips into yours. This action elicits a moan from you both. Foreheads connect as Ellie swears against your mouth. “Fuuuuck.” She continues the movement of her hips in an achingly slow manner. You both cant believe how good it feels and you tell her that you need-

“More. I need more.”

“Yeah?” She moans. This is when Ellie realizes you both are fully clothed. She moves her hands from your hips to your back and sits you both up. You pull back from your closeness to look at her for a moment, wondering what her actions would lead to next.

You take her current state in. Ellie is completely disheveled. She looks so fucked out in-front of you. You blush at the thought that its because of you. The mess of her mullet, the sweat on her temples, her flushed cheeks and glossed puffy lips. All your doing. If she looks this good now you were definitely a goner for whatever she had in store.

Ellie maneuvers herself so she can sit in between your legs. She takes in your spread out position on display for her, then looks at you.

“Im getting hot in these clothes.” She says as her hands move back to their place under your shirt. You exhale at the feeling of her fingers tracing your sides.

“M-Me too.” You whisper.

The heat building in you as she moves her hands up your sides as your top bunches at her wrists the higher they venture up your body. When her hands find their place just below the pits of your arms you lift them above your head and let her remove the damp fabric from your body. Ellie hooks her fingers into your shorts and states-

“Lift your hips baby.” You should’ve known to do this. But you were far too distracted by the way she looked undressing you. That same sort of nervousness from earlier (when she refused to look you in the eye) filled her demeanor. So when she snapped you back to earth with her voice you had to ask her to repeat herself. Instead of vocalizing her needs she took matters into her own hands. Ellie leaned over you and grasped your hips to lift upward. This caused you to fall on your back and gasp as she shimmied your shorts down your legs. When she pulled them off you completely, her hands dragged back up your legs to spread you open and move them back in their position on either side of her. She pulled you closer so that she could move her hands up and down your thighs and take you in for a moment.

Her eyes on you in this position made you grow wet. You have nothing but your swimsuit on now. Which was in a different type of way than what she saw you in earlier. This was 10x more intimate, you feel exposed. Dirty.

You are nearly naked with your legs open due to Ellie putting them there. Now it was your turn to look a mess. Fucked and blushing without even being touched in your leaking center.

Her bottom lip is pushed out into a pout and her head cocked to the side. Ellie sighed deeply like she pitied you. Like you were a toy left at her dispense to play with for as long as she wanted.

The darkness that slowly seeped into her eyes made you embarrassed at your exposed state. You didn’t want her to think you had abandoned all of your composure and willpower. You wanted to surprise her. You brought your hand behind your neck and lifted it slightly so you could untie the swim suit top you had on. As the strings fell apart on either side of your head Ellies breath hitched. Then you lifted your back and pulled the bow placed there loose. You never broke eye contact with her. There was no support on your chest now. This left the swimsuit to act as a mere barrier between your breasts being fully exposed to Ellie. Instead of removing the piece yourself you asked-

“Will you touch me Ellie?”

The way her name exited your lips drove Ellie insane. She let out a shakey breath and brought her hands to your ribcage. Each time her fingers met your skin its like the first. Your stomach flips and the temperature rises in your head fogging your brain. Ellies touch had you reeling. Slowly she raises her hands up your sides until she is grasping your fully exposed chest in her palms. Shes shaking.

“God.” She breaths out.

You cant help but whine at the contact. Instinctively your chest rises with her grasp causing your back to lift off the bed making Ellie bite her lip as her chest rises and falls. She kneads the soft skin and you squirm under her touch. Her hands are impossibly hot against your skin. The sounds coming from you only encouraging her more.

“Fuck baby.” She whispers to herself again. “Look at you.”

She spreads her hands to reveal your perky nipples. Painfully hard from her touch. Shes salivating now. Her mouth remains parted as she inhales harshly, tongue constantly swiping and swirling around her lips to keep from drooling. Ellie runs her thumbs over your sensitive buds, taking you back to moments earlier when she did the same to your lips. The roughness of them still not lost on you, you sigh from her touch.

She playes with you like this until you cant take anymore. With every knead and tug on your breasts, your pussy became more wet. The puddle forming underneath you was not ignored by Ellie. She simply wanted to take her time with you. But you were growing impatient, you needed relief.

“Mmmno more.” You grabbed her wrists to stop her movements. She tried to continue but your grasp was so strong she had no luck. So instead she leaned down to your chest and blew cool air on your right nipple causing you to bite back a moan.

“You all done baby? Cant take anymore?” She continued to blow on your chest. Your whole body shivered. She moved to the left nipple.

“I havent even kissed you here yet…” Her tone had you spinning. She sounded sad. Deprived. Shit.

“Mmmfine. Y-You can keep going. But not for too long, I need you Ellie.” You managed to get out. She gave you a look of affection and relief. Like you gave Ellie her life back. She nodded and reassured you.

“I promise I wont tease you for too much longer, I just want to savor you. You are just sooo pretty baby.”

Your head fell back against the mattress at her words. You have never heard something so intoxicating to your ear drums. Ellie sounding desperate to have you sent you even further into bliss. Then she brought you a new wave of pleasure when her soft lips came in contact with your raw nipples, sensitive and red from her teasing. She sucked the pain of her previous actions away. Ellies tongue swirled around your areolas and flicked across your aching buds. You could no longer stay silent. Your hands flew to Ellies Mullet and scratched at her scalp at her undying progressions on your body. You were a mess of “Ohs and Ahs” urging her to continue as she switched to your neglected breast causing you to go through the motions once more. This went on for what felt like forever, then Ellie finally detached.

“Wait-“ You whined at the loss.

“Shh shh. Im going to take care of you now.” She says against your lips before kissing you again.

You dissolve into her kiss. Its wetter now, the saliva from making a mess of your tits had coated her lips. Everthing had become sloppy. Ellie kissed you as she fumbled out of her boxers and white sleep shirt. Leaving her more exposed than you were, seeing as all you had left to reveal to her was your soaked cunt hidden by your bikini bottoms.

But first you admired her. She was beautiful. Lean and strong. Her frame was small but she somehow had muscle everywhere you looked. The longer you stared the hazier your mind became.

“You’re beautiful.” It comes out of your mouth like a waterfall, so fast you couldn’t stop yourself. You inhale a sharp breath and blush from embarrassment.

“Thank you pretty.” She says in a slight chuckle. When she had enough of the attention on her she began to slot herself against you once more. Bringing together your two hot, now exposed bodies.

“Oh my god.” She breathed.

The feeling on skin to skin contact was a drug. She lay barely ontop of you as you collided. Her exposed cunt was moving and grinding on your thigh messily with no rhythm. Ellie was using your body. Hands exploring each other like it was your job. You were drunk on the feeling of her body on yours. You were jealous at the relief she was getting from you, but it had also sparked something deep inside you. You kissed like this until Ellie had moved her lips to your neck. She sucked there for a moment, making sure to leave a mark. Her hips had lifted as she moved lower down your body. She kissed your collarbones, the valley between your breasts, stomach, belly button. Until she kissed you at the center of your swimming bottoms. Then she moved lower and finally kissed you right on your clothed core ontop of your puffy clit.

“Oh shit” You breathed. You were incredibly sensitive.

She looked up at you from her new spot settled between your legs. Ellie gave u a pleading look. Laced with lust and desperation. She needed to taste you. Now. You gave her a nod of approval and moved to remove your swim bottoms before she stopped you.

“Keep them on.”

There it was again, that tone that drove u crazy. How could you deny her? You wanted to tell her that it wasn’t fair because she was more undressed than you were. But when she sounded like that, and looked like that, between your legs no less…all you could do was nod and watch. Ellie hooked her finger into the side of your suit and tugged them upward creating friction between you and the fabric on your clit. The sensation made u grasp at the comforter underneath you. You tried to hard not to rock your hips, at least not yet. You were sure if you moved any more than what ellie was already doing you would snap. Ellie brought her free hand to her mouth and spat. The sound caused you to twitch. Which she noticed.

“How does this feel baby? Do my fingers feel good? They making u wet baby? Hmm?” It wasn’t a condescending tone. She wanted to make sure you felt good. Really.

Ellie had began to circle her slick digits around your sensitive mound. She would occasionally drag her fingers up and down the sides of your exposed lips. Sending you into a frenzy.

“Y-Yeah…” Your overwhelmed shy tone wasn’t enough to convince her that she should continue.

“Yeah? You sure?” her expression is almost teasing now. Eyebrow raised and grin apparent. You were under her spell.

“Yes! Yes…Feels too good Ellie.” You almost shout. Your voice is tinged with pain and pleasure. The good kind of pain. The you needed release and you needed it now, pain. Finally satisfied with your response Ellie massages you harder, tugs at your swimsuit harsher. The sight of your arched back and agape mouth only made the need to taste the continuous slick pouring out of you unbearable. Ellie needed to take action. Now.

You yelp as Ellie unexpectedly tears your swimsuit down your legs and wets her fingers in your slick. Then she is face to face with your dripping cunt.

“Im gonna kiss you down here now okay? I cant wait anymore…you look too delicious, soo beautiful.” The words ooze out of her perfect mouth.

You sit up to watch as Ellie places a delicate kiss on your clit. You’re shaking now. She repeats this up and down your pussy a few times never breaking eye contact. Each kiss sends you deeper and deeper into the pit of pure euphoria.

“Ohhh fuckk Ellie—.”

You think it cant get any better until Ellie flattens her tongue and begins to lap at the pool of slick pouring out of you. She sinks her tongue into your folds sucking, kissing and licking every surface of your overstimulated core. You are nearly screaming now. You hadn’t even come yet. It was approaching fast, you were trying so desperately to release, you were just so damn hot. Too hot. You pat the soft top of ellies hair and she stops her antics to meet your gaze.

“You dont like it?”

You shake your head harshly and tell her that you’ve never felt so good.

“Whats wrong then baby?” She gives you a look of genuine concern.

“M-Hot Ellie, I feel like im going to pass out.”

Ellie gives u those pitty eyes again and your weak. “Oh babyyy.” You hear her pout. She lays u flat on your back once more and pushes your body to the corner of the bed. At first you question her methods but then remember the savior device that persuaded you to come here in the first place.

Ellie leans over u to halt the rotation function of her fan and dials the speed up to 3. Now cool air is flooding your senses and bringing you back to earth. Ellie finds her position back in between your legs and continues her earlier routine. Instantly your brought back to your breaking point. Something about the heat between your legs and the cool air at your front was driving you insane.

“Better?” Ellie questions as she continues to suck hard on your clit. Already knowing the answer based on the way your body is reacting. You cant even answer you are so consumed in the pleasure of the movement of her fingers and the breeze of the fan. The cool air has made you dumb. Ellie had made you weak. Still, she needed to hear you say it. So she teases her middle finger at your entrance to get an answer out of you.

“I need you to tell me if you feel better pretty girl, or Im going to have to stop.”

That was the last thing you wanted. Your hands left the sheets and found their way to her hair, eyes meeting hers. You hum and whine shaking your head in protest.

“Better Ellie, So much better. Please dont stop.” You almost cry. Its all too much.

“Good girl.” Ellie Coos, then inserts her finger inside of you. With every centimeter entering u deeper and deeper your back arches higher and your mouth falls more open. When shes fully in you, she begins thrusting her long digit in and out curving the tip of her finger prodding where it feels the best.

“Shit your tight.” Ellie spits.

You become limp at her actions and your hands grip her auburn hair tight. You cant help but moan loudly at her actions. The feeling of her inside of you was heaven. Ellie couldn’t take seeing you like this, she had to give you more. So she brought her mouth down to your shaking legs and placed wet kisses on your thighs and all around your pussy until her mouth sucked where you wanted her most. You were a wreck. Exactly how she wanted you. She continued moving her longest digit in and out of you in that curling motion loving the way you clenched around her finger. When she thought you could handle it she detached her lips from your pussy and slipped in another finger.

“I need you to take this finger too baby, it’s going to feel so good okay?” Shes talking you through it like it’s your first time. Obviously you have touched yourself before. Sex wasn’t foreign to you, just rare. But something about this moment made it feel like you were discovering the act all over again, with Ellie as your guide.

This full sensation brought you back to a sitting up position so you could make eye contact as she exited and entered you over and over. It was a filthy sight. Her hair was completely stuck to her head and her mouth formed and ‘o’ shape. Ellies string of curses and moans were borderline pornographic.

“Yeah Hmm? Shit listen to how well your- fuck-fucking taking my fingers in baby.”

She was turned on just by the sight of her effect on you. Ellie was getting off on it. The sounds coming from your cunt drove her mad. She wouldn’t let up, she moved back down to taste you again. You began to move your hips chasing that same need you saw from the girl below you. You could feel the fuse about to blow inside of you as you humped Ellies fingers and face.

“Els Im gonna-“ your voice had reached an impossibly high pitch.

“Please please come for me baby let me taste you.”

Remembering how good the cool air made you feel earlier, she pushed you closer to the edge of the bed until you were almost hanging off. Your body was so close to the fan you could feel the fast blowing air everywhere now. On your nipples, stomach, and even through the hair on top of your pussy. You focus on the feeling of the cool from the fan for a moment to long that u see water. You saw the beloved stream you swam in just today. Your own heaven. You see Ellie. You had reached your climax and you didn’t even know it until you were coming all over Ellies hands and face.

“Shit-Ellie!” The speed of her fingers had doubled. You saw flashes of the creek and you swimming in it. Ellie had made you come so hard you were seeing things.

“Mmhmm baby you’re doing so good. So pretty like this.” She kept you like this until the pitch in your voice had become so high it was silent. Until you were a writhing panting mess chanting Ellies name over and over. Only when your hands loosened their tight grip on her hair did she slow the movement of her fingers inside of you.

Ellie helped you ride your high for a moment before retracting her fingers from you and kissing your swollen cunt one more time.

“You taste amazing.”

She smoothes her hands over your body making you shiver under her touch. She couldn’t help but stare at your fucked out state.

“You are so beautiful.”

You don’t even have words to respond to her compliments. Your sex drunk more than ever and completely non verbal. Instead u hum in acceptance. Which she laughs at.

After moments of admiring you she grabs her discarded boxers and begins to clean you up with them, too lazy to move up from the bed. This was fine to you because while u were nonverbal, you also couldn’t move.

The fan was still on full blast and Ellie craved to share the cool air with you. You had gone completely limp. Exhausted from Ellie having her way with you. So Ellie laid next you and pulled your body against hers. Skin to skin contact making you hum. Your face had gone to that perfect place in her neck. You took in her smell before she turned her head to look at you. Her eyes were lidded and sleepy, but also in awe of your state and her affect on you. She smirked slightly and placed a slow breathy kiss on your lips. When you broke apart your eyes were too heavy to open them again for the night. Ellie took one last look at you before sleep over came her.

“Thank youu, fan.” She whispered before pulling you closer and falling into deep sleep.

Thank god for fans. Thank god for the creek. Thank god for Ellie. (and her fingers) You thought and snuggled into her before dozing off completely.

Maybe this summer won’t be too unbearable.

🌿

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...

...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.

again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well

coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.

(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)

anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.

[vesper-tinus]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 (part 2) Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female ! Reader

Summary: You awake in the hospital, recovering from your injuries, and find that you have not been alone. A continuation of a request that you can read here. Keywords: Minor mentions of hospital equipment (if one is squeamish), happy end, a continuation. I hope you guys enjoy it 😊 Wordcount: 1668. Tags: (my firsts, wow!) @srjksr — @nicoleoeoeoe 🖤

Simon’s eyes stay locked onto yours as he, with hardened yet wavering voice, begs you to keep your attention on him. The certainty from his lips fading with each second you are unresponsive. He moves closer to you, pulling your bloodied and lifeless body into his arms and holding you there protectively—furious and heartbroken—and so alone. 

You feel a sharp pain somewhere in your head, you’re not certain where—did you just think? There’s a subtle buzzing in your ears, under your skin, crawling over you like weevils. You attempt to grasp at the thin threads of your consciousness, but everything you find is fleeting. Logic and experience tells you that you are in some drug-induced state of exhaustion, one that is coming to its end.

You persist.

You persist despite the pain that awakens with each breath. 

As your mind continues to reassert its existence in the waking world, the past few days come back trickling into focus, dripping into being like the IV attached to your arm. A sensation you’ve felt before, and have been hoping to never feel again, alas, a small price to pay for un-death. Gradually, you become more aware, but it’s a fighting battle. Each light re-lit causing new pains to be discovered. Your eyelids feel heavy, resting would be so easy, but you want to wake up. You need to wake up.

You cease your attempts at movement. 

Someone, or something, is holding onto your hand. 

And there’s a noise—faint, but noticeable—that almost rhythmically accompanies the continuous beeping, steady and quiet, but you hear it. The faint inhale and exhale of breathing—not your own. 

Sleeping?

You attempt to move your palm, wiggle your fingers, but waking up your limbs seems almost an impossible task. You inhale slowly, your weakened lungs taking their fill of assisted-oxygen. The hospital room reeks of disinfectant—there’s a staleness in the air that brings no comfort to its visitors. It’s a weighted silence that feels almost artificial to your awakening state. 

You blink to clear the cobwebs, and you are met with a blurry sight. You grimace as you squeeze your eyes shut once more, attempting to will the world to sharpness. The first thing you manage to carve out is the whirring ceiling fan above you, the movement of the lazy blades doing little to help, and so you avert your eyes to whoever has been holding your hand. 

Simon?

You’ve always known him to be a light sleeper, but the depths of his exhaustion comes as a surprise to you. He has always been strict regarding exhaustion and sleep schedules—going as far as to confiscate caffeine when the situation called for it, with Price’s permission, of course. To see him here, sleeping and unmasked, stirs not only relief in your heart, but worry. 

How you’ve missed him.

“Sh-” Your attempt at speaking his name is barely audible, your voice hoarse and unfamiliar to both your throat and ears. 

He startles awake, his grip on your hand tightening as he springs to life. Shoulders squared and the intensity of his attention is solely focused on you. The dark circles beneath his eyes have worsened since the last time you saw him (though you are unclear how long ago that is). He speaks your name with faint disbelief, with wonder, and oh the love. 

You can almost see the weight lifted off his shoulders. Unburdened by the proof of life—by your life. 

“Took you long enough,” he says, pointedly and honest, but without bitterness. His words are accompanied by a gentle squeeze of your fingers. His eyes dart all over you, as if afraid you were a conjuration of his dreams—as if you could disappear at any moment.

What comes out of your mouth is something between a wheeze and a dry cough, and Simon is quick to rest the cup of water by your lips. The cold water feels unfamiliar to your throat, burning the entire way down, but it helps.   

You lick your lips, and attempt to speak again. 

“Dick.” 

You’re rewarded with the quiet sound of Simon chuckling, all too charming on its own, though it soon quiets down—a bit too soon for your liking—and once more you are feeling the weighted silence of your hospital room. 

He doesn’t speak further. He merely sits back down to watch you as he traces gentle circles over your hand with his thumb. You’re not even certain he knows what he’s doing, but it’s enough to cause your heart to flutter, so you avert your gaze, peering around to exercise the few muscles that have been still for… who knows how long. You crane your neck, attempting to find any hints to your location. “Where am I?”

“The hospital.”

“Thanks, smartass, “ you reply with a wry smile, “which one?”

Simon pauses, glancing down at your intertwined hands. “... The one you’d be the most comfortable in.”

His response is not what you had expected, and the subtle crease between your brows should be telling enough. You wait for further explanation, but receive none. So you take matters into your own hands, glancing around the room again, but this time with intent. You notice the pattern on the far wall, and the familiar colour of the blinds half-drawn. You notice the little print on the corner of your blanket of a logo you’ve seen before. A memory resurface of an incident months ago. 

“They treatin’ you alright here?” Simon asks, tossing you an unopened cup of pudding as he nears your cot. “I don’t see why you couldn’t just have stayed on base. We have medical personnel for a reason, y’know.”

You roll your eyes, expertly catching the little plastic container with ease. “That’s exactly why, Simon,” you respond, peeling off the plastic spoon attached to the side of the cup, ”because they treat me better here.” You pause, smiling at the obvious disbelief on his face. “They’re… I don’t know… friendlier?”

“Sure, “friendlier”. A military wing in a civilian hospital. How nice.”

“It’s an”—you wave the, now stained, spoon in a circular motion—”acquired taste. Plus, I’ve been here before. I like it better here.”

… you’ve been here before, and Simon knew. He knew and he remembered. 

The realisation must be showing on your face, because Simon clears his throat, diverting your attention. “I should probably let the others know you’re awake,” he says quietly, his warm hand still encasing yours.

“Yeah,” you respond with equal gentleness, “you probably should.”

But neither of you make any further effort to act on it.

The silence stretches on. You notice how his jaw is clenched again, and his shoulders seem to have tensed up. You, yourself, are not free of these symptoms either. Neither of you have forgotten why you’re here, yet neither of you are willing to delve into those memories just yet. But you should, right? For answers? For reassurance? You swallow a breath, steadying your thoughts. 

“Help a girl sit up?” you ask with a wry smile, and with subtle hesitation, he does just that. Cautious hands propping up a stack of pillows behind your back for you to rest against. He’s careful not to disturb the IV tubes, nor the nasal cannula you have become annoyingly aware of. You mutter your thanks and receive a nod in response. 

When he retreats, he doesn’t move far, but he doesn’t take your hand again. The lack of his warmth bothers you more than you'd care to admit.

“You’re smart enough to know what comes next, right?” you ask, attempting to keep a light tone. "What I'm about to ask you?"

“I know.”

You press your tongue against the roof of your mouth. 

“... did you mean it? What you said? When I…”

You take a breath, holding it for three seconds, before exhaling.  When you almost died. When he thought you died.

There’s no need to clarify what you are referring to. It’s been weighing on both of you for a long, long time, though neither of you were keen to bring it up. Perhaps out of fear to change what you had, or maybe it was the risk of losing it all together. 

But it was always there.

“I still do,” he says carefully, pausing briefly to gather his thoughts. “And I almost lost you for it.”

“Simon-”

He interrupts you, rising from his chair in a sudden movement. “I don’t know if I can go through that again.” He's not sure of what to do, and that frightens him, but losing you frightens him more.

Muscle pains be damned, you attempt to sit up straighter, reaching for him. You can’t risk losing him, not when he’s this close. “You don’t think it’s worth trying? I love you, Simon, I’d… I’d like for us to try.” Your hand is weakly gripping the sleeve of his hoodie. Should he wish to, he could easily walk out the room… but he doesn’t. Quietly, he settles down again, easing your fingers apart to hold your hand once more. Silence builds between you again, growing so palpable that it almost feels oppressive.

“Alright,” he says.

“Alright?”

“I’d… like for us to try, too.”

You sigh in obvious relief, carefully falling back into the pillows stacked behind your back. “I can’t believe you made me go through that in a hospital cot,” you mutter, “what kind of boyfriend does that?” Your attempts at easing the atmosphere are appreciated, and Simon eagerly takes the hook you’re offering. 

“The ones’ who’s girlfriends die in their arms.”

“We weren’t dating back then, and secondly, I didn’t die fully.”

“You look like it, though,” he quips back with a fuller smile, more than eager to forget the intensity of the previously exchanged words. 

“You’re such a—”

The banter between the two of you comes as natural as breathing, and it’s a welcoming feeling. One you’ve missed. This is not the end of your conversation, of course, but neither of you are ready for it just yet. 

[iikatsukii]

3:15 (breathe)

synopsis: story inspired by the song 3:15 by russ

pairings: lo’ak x metkayina!reader

warnings: angst to comfort & minor violence

word count: 6.6k

a/n: ive been writing this for too long but im back with a present 🫶🏾 (also i know this one isnt shortened by a read more thing im sorry guys i tried idk why its not working but hopefully when i get my laptop charger back ill be able to fix it but pls just bare with me just this once)

you had been staring at the roof of your marui for about 20 minutes now. you were dreading getting up. you've felt like this for the past few months but couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. being the youngest daughter of tonowari and ronal is like asking every boy in the clan to court you. when you chose rotxo, all the boys in the clan were heartbroken. you and tsireya found it kinda funny, to be honest.

you and rotxo have been dating for about half a year now. everything leading up to the relationship had been amazing. the fleeting glances, soft touches, the surprise dates. he had courted you perfectly, so he was over the moon when you finally said yes. his loving actions continued three months into the relationship. then suddenly, you started to notice a shift in his behaviors.

he wouldn't surprise you with dates anymore, he only hung out with ao'nung and his friends, he wouldn't make time for you, and when you did ask to spend time with him, he would brush you off, saying he was busy.

of course, your siblings didn't know about this. rotxo told you not to tell them. "i mean, what would ao'nung think of me? he would never want to be friends with me again," he told you. you sighed, "you're right, rotxo. i'm sorry. i won't say anything." rotxo pulled you into a hug, holding your head to his chest so you couldn't see the smirk he held on his face. on the other hand, you held an expression of self-doubt. like you knew the choice to not speak up was dumb, and you wished you could take your words back, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

so you remained in rotxo's arms day after day, putting on a show that everyone believed. never saying anything to anyone. never saying anything about all the harsh words rotxo would say to you, about the loneliness you felt, or about the scars he left on your heart.

tsireya, your twin sister, suspected something was off about your relationship because of how differently you had been acting recently. ever since rotxo started treating you poorly, tsireya would hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. still, when she confronted you about it, you would brush her off, saying she was probably hearing things from how tired she had been. and the thing is, nobody else seems to hear it, so it's not like tsireya can have someone to back her up.

you finally gathered the energy to get up, 2 hours later than you were supposed to, and you groaned, knowing your father was going to kill you. you quickly get dressed, rushing to find someone, anyone who can tell you where your father is. finally, you see a huge crowd, what looks like the entire clan, gathered at the shores of the beaches.

"uturu has been asked.." you heard faintly. as you made your way to the front of the crowd, where you heard your father's voice, you caught the tail end of the conversation. "toruk makto and his family will live among us. my children will teach your children the ways of the water so that your family does not suffer the burden of being useless." you hid behind your father. as he spoke, you looked over to who he was talking to.

a group of 6 darker-toned na'vi were standing huddled together. 2 parents and 4 children. you analyzed each child, still hiding behind your father. the smallest, youngest na'vi was holding her mother's hand, hiding behind her leg, similar to how you're hiding behind your father. the older female, who looked about your age, had an annoyed look on her face. you giggled at her expression, being able to tell that she wanted to be anywhere but here.

then you looked at the taller, assumingly older brother. he looked tight-laced, like he was the perfect child. a golden boy, if you would. not really your type but eh, who are you to say anything. you have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. you shouldn't even be thinking things like this in the first place. you rolled your eyes, ignoring the annoying thoughts in your head, as you looked at the other boy standing next to the eldest son.

that's when you noticed the eyes that were staring back at you. they were the prettiest amber color you've ever seen, accented by… is that hair above his eyes? his eyes glowed in the sun, and his markings? don't even start; his markings running along his body were mesmerizing. but the one thing that interested you was the look he held in his eyes. nobody had ever looked at you like that, and of course, that makes it harder to pinpoint precisely what makes you feel this way. while you were entranced in the visitor's eyes, you failed to notice your own boyfriend noticing you. once the clan's people started to disperse, your sister grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the new family.

rotxo was going to approach you, but he was stopped by ao'nung, who nodded his head back to the water, where they would later meet you, tsireya, and those 'freaks' for lessons. ao'nung missed the furious expression his best friend held. rotxo was quick to fix his face, though, playing nice. he saw the looks between you and that forest boy, and he was not happy about it. he decided to observe from afar before confronting you about anything, not wanting youîu to know that he noticed anything.

as you and tsireya approached the family, you got to take a closer look at the boy before you. your thoughts, though, were interrupted by your twin, "let us show you to your new home," as she and you guided the new family to their home, you could tell their father was trying to stay positive, but the way their mother dropped her belongings when she saw where they would be living was comedic to you. you couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, not maliciously, of course. you're not like your brother ao'nung and boyfriend rotxo.

"sister, i was late to the gathering. i have no idea who these people are or what's happening." you whispered to your twin. "oh right! where were you, by the way? i had to go through ilu training with the boys alone! it was horrible." she groaned. you sighed. yeah, you're definitely gonna get your ass beat when you get home. "father didn't happen to notice, did he?" you said, already knowing the answer. tsireya just laughed "skxawng." she said, hitting your shoulder. "hey!" you said defensively, ready to hit her back until a hand caught yours. you turned around to see one of the new na'vi boys. it was the younger one.

"as amusing it is to see two sisters-" he started

"twins," you and tsireya corrected at the same time. it freaked both boys out, but they thought it was cute in a way.

"as amusing as it is to see twins bickering with one another, i believe a lesson is in our near future? per request of your father, that is." the tone he used was teasing. how could he speak to you with such confidence when he didn't even know your name? rotxo had never spoken to you like that. his words were always soft, almost shy as if he didn't want to scare you with how loud you knew he could be. for some reason, though, it made you like rotxo more.

but with how things have been going well recently, rotxo isn't that soft-spoken boy anymore. hell, he barely acts like your boyfriend now. so maybe it won't be wrong to get to know someone new? only as a friend, though. you would never dream of cheating, let alone act on it.

you looked down to see that the younger brother, whose name you still had yet to find out, was still holding onto your wrist, waiting for an answer.

oh shit, he's waiting on an answer.

you had zoned out, daydreaming about the boy who was gazing at you equally as curious. thankfully you guys had an energetic little girl to catch your attention. "LAST ONE TO THE WATER IS THANATOR BAIT," she said as she jumped into the water.

you and your sister giggled at the young girl's actions, deciding to jump right in after her. the remaining na'vi jumped in as well as you and tsireya swam, guiding them to where you would have this supposed lesson. as you and your twin swam, she explained everything that had happened while you were sleeping using your clan's sign language. it was making more sense now. this family fled their home, seeking a safe place to stay… uturu…

as you had gotten to the rocks by the beach, you noticed that your brother was there, which could only mean one thing. rotxo was here, too, great. you didn't really feel like pretending to be happy with him around people right now, but you slapped on your usual fake smile, praying to eywa that these newcomers were as easy to fool as everyone else on this island.

you had begun your lessons as usual, you and tsireya being paired up with the youngest son as he was having the most difficulty.

"breathe in. breathe from down here," tsireya said as she placed her hand on lo'ak's stomach. you placed your hand on his heart to check its speed as you continued, "breathe out." you sighed again. "lo'ak, your heartbeat is fast," you said, looking up at him, happy that you had learned his name because now you could address him by his name.

"sorry," he said,

"try to focus," tsireya added, his eyes meeting hers as she spoke. you noticed that when his eyes shifted, his expression remained the same bright, curious look he gave you; he also held with your sister.

maybe that's just how he looks at people, you thought as you continued to help him.

you felt eyes on your back, knowing it was rotxo staring at you. you looked over your shoulder and made eye contact with your boyfriend, smiling and waving at him, getting nothing but a stone-cold look in return. nobody seemed to notice, so the embarrassment was yours alone. or so you thought until you turned back to lo'ak, seeing as he had seen the whole interaction between the two of you. nobody had ever noticed something like this happen. you tried to read the forest boy's expression but couldn't. all you knew was that he didn't have that same bright look in his eyes as he looked at rotxo.

so maybe he doesn't look at everyone like that…

the exchange sent a shiver up your back. you had a feeling nothing good would come of these two interacting, but over the months, rotxo had diminished your self-confidence, finding yourself seriously doubting your judgment. so you ignored the feeling, not thinking it would be worth risking the normalcy in your daily life.

with lessons finally ending, you excused yourself from the rest as you walked back to your marui, knowing that your parents were about to beat your ass. you walked into your home with your ears flat against your head, tail between your legs, and head hung in shame.

"y/n te ronal'ite," your mother sneered.

oh yeah. you're fucked.

"father, mother, i am sorry i do not know why i overslept this morning–"

"this is the fifth time this has happened, child. you do not know why you have overslept five times this month?" your mothers' words were harsh; you knew she was very upset with you because of how you had been acting recently. you also knew she didn't like your relationship with rotxo, no matter how nice she thought the boy was. to her, something was just off, she could hear eywa whispering to her about it at night, but when she awoke in the morning, it became nothing but a second thought as all her tsahik duties became a priority as she started her day.

"mother, i am sorry. i do not know why this is happening, but i promise it won't happen again," you said, falling to your knees and begging your parents for forgiveness. you hated when they were upset with you, from when you were a kid until now—especially your father.

you were a daddy's girl; you couldn't help it. your father was your safe haven, and you hated when he was disappointed in you even more than you hated when your mother was mad at you. so when you looked into his eyes and saw concern and not disappointment, you knew something was wrong.

"ma y/n, what is the matter? ite, if something is wrong, you know you can tell me." your father tried.

this was the one thing you couldn't confide in your father for. usually, you have little to no trouble telling your father what's wrong, but this was different. you couldn't bring yourself to tell him. so you just looked up at your father, tears in your eyes, and said

"nothing is wrong, father. i have no excuse for waking up late, so please issue my punishment. i have to finish my chores for the day," hearing your voice so cold sent a shiver up your parents' backs. that was what made them realize there really is something wrong. no matter how much you deny it, they can finally see past the facade that you've been keeping up.

how have they never noticed? how long has this been going on?

ronal looked at her husband, silently asking him for help. for once, the tsahik didn't know what to do. as attuned to eywa as she was, the great mother can't outright tell her what is wrong or how to solve it, thus leaving ronal feeling hopeless.

useless.

a tsahik who can't even help her own child. what good is she?

tonowari cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.

"two weeks, ilu keeper. you are to bring and return the villager's ilus as well as headcount the north, south, east, and west pens before the eclipse to ensure all ilus are accounted for. you are dismissed," your father's tone was equally as cold as yours. you knew the game he was playing, and you wouldn't fall for it this time. you knew your father was just trying to reciprocate the attitude you were giving him so you would crack. so you quickly left your home, knowing that if you stayed any longer, you would burst into tears and beg your father to hold you in his arms.

your depression had continued for months after the day of the sullys arrival. things with rotxo had only gotten worse, and to you, it seemed like nobody was noticing your depleting health. but in reality, everyone knew you were sad, but nobody knew why.

except for one person

you were so grateful for lo'ak. he was the only person who noticed. he saw everything and sat you down, saying you couldn't endure this abusive relationship anymore. he saw all the scowls and rolled eyes your boyfriend sent your way when you were looking and when you weren't looking. he also saw stuff that you hadn't seen. like rotxo entertaining different girls throughout the village. all of those girls being the ones who you said were your very good friends, but more specifically, it was your best friend.

you and your sully boy were walking along the shore, deciding to go for a walk after he had returned from his daily chores. the walk was silent, but you noticed the furrowed eyebrows above lo'ak's eyes, indicating that he was thinking.

"if you think too hard, you may end up hurting yourself, forest boy," you teased, giggling at his reaction. the boy had rolled his eyes, relieving his eyebrow of their stress as he nudged your side with his elbow. "hey, watch it," he said, laughing along with you.

then he got serious again, you noticed the stress return to his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but stop walking, concerned for your friend.

"lo'ak, what is the matter?" you asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper. lo'ak had barely heard it over the sounds of the tide washing up against the shore. he was silent for a while, debating on if this was his place to say anything, but the boy was worried for you so he spoke up.

"as your friend, y/n, i cannot allow you to continue to be in this relationship." his words were firm. you knew this was coming, and you were hoping you could avoid it, but in the end, it seemed inevitable. you sighed, exhausted, dropping your facade.

"lo'ak, please. don't say anything to anyone. i am fine, okay? rotxo is just busy, is all–"

"yeah, busy suckin' face with your so-called friends, y/n," lo'ak huffed, tired of seeing you endure this treatment. you perked up at his words, though. what was he talking about?

"what do you mean?" you said as you stepped closer, wanting to look deeper into his eyes to ensure he wasn't lying.

"your boy has been cheating on you with all the girls you call your 'friends', especially your best friend. whenever he says he's busy with ao'nung and the guys, neteyam tells me he sneaks off halfway through. and i've personally caught him with so many girls y/n. he's been cheating on you." the words echo in your head.

cheating?

with your friends?

your boyfriend…

your boyfriend.

a new feeling had blossomed in your chest. it felt like a raging fire in your chest, out of control and blazing with heat. oh, you were pissed. so lo'ak hatched a plan for you.

"take this," he said as he reached up to his neck, taking off his communicator and giving it to you. "wear it tomorrow. and right before eclipse, i want you to go to the west ilu pen. but be quiet when you get there. that's usually where rotxo meets your best friend." the words squeezed at your heart, but the fury in your chest overpowered it all.

"fine," you said as your eyes met his once again. you moved your hair behind over your left shoulder as you turned around, signaling for him to put the communicator on for you.

once it was secure, you turned to face him again, knowing that this would be the last moment of peace you would have until the storm you had been so severely trying to avoid.

"thank you," was the last thing you said to the forest boy before you made your way home. knowing the next day would be one of the worst days of your life.

it was a few minutes til eclipse, and you were waiting in a hidden spot near the west ilu pen just like lo'ak had told you. you had been waiting here for 15 minutes, and neither rotxo nor your best friend had shown up. did lo'ak lie? what reason would he have to lie? it's not like he likes you. lo'ak always uses phrases like "as your friend…" and "friends don't treat friends like that," insinuating that he, too, thought of you as a friend and nothing more, so what reason would he have to lie. you were about to radio him, pressing the button on your neck, because you were getting annoyed waiting here for so long. but then you heard a familiar laugh.

that's your best friend's laugh.

you turned around, peeking through leaves to see rotxo and your best friend holding hands, laughing with one another. keeping your hand against your communicator, you tried to get as close as possible without revealing your hiding spot so that lo'ak could hear everything happening.

"are you sure this is okay, rotxo? what about y/n? you know she's my best friend." your best friends laughter had died down as the two came to a halt.

"ma yawne, you need not worry." your boyfriend reassured.

"but what about her? you guys are in a relationship, and she is olo'eyktans daughter. if we get caught, we're done for. plus, she's been looking so sad recently. i can't help but feel like she knows." tears sprung to her eyes and you couldn't help but roll your own.

"mawey, my love. she does not know. besides, she has been ignoring me recently. i've been left alone, wondering if she's okay. i ask her every day to talk to me and tell me something; i reassure her that i'm here for her and that she can talk to me about anything. she brushes me off, not even giving me the time of day. it is like she has completely shut me out. i feel so left in the dark," your best friend just coos at the boy, pulling into a hug in an attempt to 'hug' him when she really is just trying to push her boobs against his chest. his hand placement wasn't any better. he had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to himself if even possible.

OH, BOO FUCKING HOO, IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??

it was taking every molecule of self-restraint in your body not to blow your cover and strangle the man you call your "boyfriend." upon hearing his words, you could only scoff. this is what he's been doing? while he's been ignoring you, leaving you lonely and hurting, he's been out in the village, cheating on you and playing victim, making everyone think you were ignoring him.

you could only roll your eyes as you walked away before you were discovered. you were furious. you knew exactly how you wanted to approach this, thinking based only on your heated emotions, throwing all rational away. as you walked away, your hand fell from the collar around your neck, knowing lo'ak had heard enough. he was probably on the way to your parents' marui right now to tell them everything.

you walked to rotxo's family marui; glad to see the rest of his family is still out doing whatever they do. you could care less. he and anyone related to him could perish, poof into thin air, never to be seen again, and you wouldn't bat an eye. in fact, just the idea of it brings a smile to your face. a smile that instantly dropped when the flap of the marui was pushed aside, revealing your boyfriend and your brother.

"ao'nung, leave. i need to talk to rotxo," you said as soon as you made eye contact with your older brother. you knew he was clueless about what had happened because he was hanging out with his friends all day. supposedly, so was rotxo.

"sorry little sister, but you're going to have to leave. rotxo and i are–"

"AO' GET THE FUCK OUT!" you screamed at your brother, eyes falling to the floor, knowing he wasn't the target of rage, so you probably shouldn't be treating him like this.

your brother was surprised you raised your voice at him but listened anyway, knowing that this wasn't his problem and he honestly didn't care about your relationship as long as rotxo treated you right. and to his knowledge, his best friend is treating you right. rotxo, you told your brother that it was you shutting him out, so ao'nung just assumed this would be another one of those 'irrational arguments' that rotxo always tells him about.

watching your brothers back retreating toward your home, you turned your attention to the man of the fucking hour.

"my best friend? are you serious right now, rotxo?" you asked him to get straight to the point.

rotxo rolled his eyes, groaning because he realized you knew he was cheating on you.

"y/n, don't be like this. my family will be home any minute–" you cut him off.

"i do not care. you are walking around telling people i shut you out? cheating on me? you are out here forcing me to put on a smile, fake happy, so your reputation doesn't get ruined, and you have the nerve to try and bring mine down with you? saying i'm leaving you in the dark. making yourself seem like the goddamn victim?! you're cheating on me, rotxo. FOR FUCKS SAKE." the english word that the sully children had taught you felt like the only word that could adequately convey your feelings.

"using the words that sully boy taught you, huh? you know you've been spending a lot of time with him. you're lucky the only rumor i spread was that you left me in the dark. be grateful that i'm not telling everyone how you've been spreading your legs for that freak." you gaped at his words. how did he know about how much you've been spending with lo'ak? of course, he's completely wrong about what you guys do but he's always busy with his friends, blowing you off, cheating, and not caring who you're with or what you're doing. regardless of how he knew or not, you and lo'ak were friends, and that's it.

"we are just friends. i would not even have to hang out with him if my own shitty boyfriend actually acted as if he fucking likes me. we hang out as all young na'vi do, free diving, ilu racing, sea shell collecting. things i've done with you, my siblings, and countless other friends, like the bitch you are cheating on me with, so why is it a problem when i do it with lo'ak? hmm, rotxo? what's your fucking problem? are you projecting? is that it?" you were blinded by your rage, not even realizing that you had approached your boyfriend, but it felt like your words weren't getting through to him. he still held this shitty condescending smirk on his face, and you were sick of it. so you pushed him with all the strength you had in your body. rotxo fell to the floor pretty hard, groaning in pain as he landed funny on his wrist.

"ah! ha–" rotxo graoned in pain as he gripped his wrist. his gaze met yours as he spoke again "look, she's finally snapped. what? are you going to go, run to your little demon blood? are you going to let him cheer you up like the little slut you are? might as well prepare yourself for tomorrow because when ao'nung asks me what we argued about, i'm telling him i found out you were cheating on me with that sully boy," rotxo stood from his place on the floor, holding a look you had never seen on him before. he walked towards you menacingly as you matched his pace, walking backward until your back made contact with the wall of his home. his hand came up to your neck, squeezing, not noticing that he had once again pressed the button on your collar so lo'ak could hear everything.

“y/n? what's wrong? what's going on?" you heard his voice in your earpiece but kept quiet, not wanting rotxo to know he was about to get caught.

"you're so easy, huh? playing hard to get for everyone in the village when really you just wanted to be a whore for a half-breed freak who has only brought problems and war to our home–" you pushed him off of you, running out his marui with your head down, not wanting him to see your tears as if he hadn't already.

as cruel as rotxo had been to you, he had never called you such degrading names like this.

as angry as you were, hearing someone you once loved say things like that to you felt like a bullet to the heart.

you ran to a hidden oasis within the forest line of awa'atlu. only you and rotxo knew of it, but recently you've found yourself coming here alone much more than you would come here with him.

falling to your knees in front of the river before you, you allowed the dam to break, letting all your pent-up emotions out. you couldn't help but cry to yourself. you hated life like this. you hated living a lie, not wanting to bare this pain anymore. you cried, sobbed, screamed, wailed, anything to get this hurt out of your heart.

rotxo had broken you. he had taken your pure, innocent heart and smashed it to pieces. no matter how much you tried to love and care for him, you realize he would never really love you. it was all just a ploy to get in with the olo'eyktan's daughter. he was just like every other stupid boy on this island. but you fell for him, and you hated the feeling.

and for him to cheat with your best friend, of all people? how could he? did he even love you?

to say lo'ak was worried was the understatement of the fucking year. he was basically having a panic attack rampaging the island after he didn't find you in rotxo's marui when they arrived. lo'ak had come with his family and yours, everyone having heard the cruel words that rotxo had spat at you thanks to lo'aks communication device.

jake and neteyam personally held lo'ak back from killing the metkayina in front of him.

"YOU FUCKER! YOU CALL HER A WHORE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STICKING YOUR DICK IN ANYTHING THAT HAS A FUCKING HOLE, YOU PUSSY–"

"lo'ak, that's enough," jake said, trying to restrain his youngest son.

"NO, HE'S RIGHT! DAD, LET ME GO! LET ME BEAT HIS ASS!" lo'ak looked over to see tonowari and another warrior holding ao'nung back, but the look on tonowari's face showed that he was seconds from ripping rotxo limb from limb for what he had said to his daughter.

that's when lo'ak noticed you weren't in the marui. pulling himself from his father and brother's restraints, he ran out, immediately going to all your favorite places on the island, trying to find you.

he searched the shallow reefs on the east side of the island. he visited the ilu pen on the south part of the island because that's where you kept your ilu. he checked the floral shoreline on the northwest part of the island, knowing that you loved getting all your flowers from there, whether it was for your hair, a top, or a gift for the new boy on the island.

lo'ak noticed a forest line near the floral shores, so he also decided to check within that area in case you were wandering around there.

walking through the forest area kind of reminded lo'ak of home. he had been reminiscing on the flora of his home when he heard what sounded like crying—very loud crying.

immediately arming himself, prepared to protect himself or someone else. lo'ak stepped into the clearing, seeing you kneeling over the stream, fists clenched into the ground beneath you as you let out the most heart-twisting cries he had ever heard.

you were crying so loud you hadn't even heard the forest boy approaching you. feeling arms engulfing you, you began to panic. whoever it was immediately tried to soothe your struggles, and much to your surprise, you listened. you felt warmth, security, and comfort. things you never felt around rotxo, at least, not anymore.

"mawey, y/n. mawey. try to match my breathing," it was a familiar voice, but with all the physical and emotional pain clouding your senses, you couldn't pinpoint who it was. regardless, you tried your best to match his breathing, your heavy breaths slowing to quiet sobs and whimpers. it felt like your heart was really breaking. this realization was painful. rotxo didn't love you. he was using you.

you just wanted to be loved, and rotxo made you feel that way for a while. but that was the problem; it only lasted a while. then everything went to shit, and you were left cold and alone while rotxo was out cheating on you and forcing you to fake a smile for everyone around you so that you wouldn't ruin his reputation.

your cries had died down, and you were resting within the hold of the person behind you. his hushed words of comfort hadn't stopped, praising you for controlling your breath as he soothingly rubbed your shoulders. when you calmed down enough, you turned to look at the source of your comfort. it was honestly one of the last people you expected it to be.

you would've thought your brother or sister would find this secret spot before the forest boy did.

"lo'ak, what are you doing here?" you asked him, trying to escape his grasp and wipe your tears at the same time. lo'ak was quick to grab hold of your hands, preventing you from moving away from him.

"mawey, y/n. just relax. i'm here for you, and you can cry all you want to, sevin. i am not going anywhere." his voice was so comforting as he pulled you back into his embrace. you just sighed as you felt another wave of tears coming to your eyes. so you cried it out, relieving every sob, scream, and cry you had ever kept in, and lo'ak stayed with you through it all. never once letting you go and never stopping his whispers of reassurance.

when your sobs died down again, you noticed he intertwined his fingers with yours. you hadn't noticed his hands before. you weren't aware, but your ears perked up a bit, and your tail started to rev to life a bit when you saw he had five fingers instead of four. you wordlessly detangled your hand from his, causing the boy's ears to fall flat to his head.

you noticed his hands. did you see him differently now? his thoughts started as a drizzle quickly forming into a hurricane, but when he felt both of your hands grab one of his pulling it closer to your swollen eyes so you could examine it better, he chuckled. he thought it was cute, seeing you fiddle with his fingers as your soft sniffles continued. if this was distraction enough to keep you from crying, then lo'ak would let you play with his hands 24/7.

you didn't know that lo'ak's hands were his biggest insecurity, so the way you played with them and looked at them with wonder and not worry made his heart swell. lo'ak had not thought his life would be turned upside down like this, being forced to move away from his home and learn new ways of life. he hated it. but willingly getting to know someone and maybe even starting to fall for her had to be the best thing on that list. lo'ak knew he liked you for a while but never made any advances as you were taken. even though he could've been treating you so much better.

he loved how your hands felt in his and how your smile brightened up an entire room. he loved how attuned to nature you were. you hadn't even realized the school of fish swimming around your ankles rested in the river before you. it was as if the animals were trying to comfort you, too, somehow being able to sense your distress.

“y/n. do not listen to him. he is nothing but a lowlife who derives pleasure from others' pain," lo'ak started ranting, not caring if you were listening. he just wanted to speak his mind. "you are beautiful, y/n. the most beautiful, strong, loving, kind, graceful na'vi i've ever had the chance to meet. if moving away from my home means i get to find a new home here, with you, i would fly, walk, jump, or crawl my way here a hundred times over. i would do anything to be with you properly. i want to heal you from that asshole's mistakes. i want to show you what it feels like to be loved. not because you are olo'eyktan's daughter. but because you are you."

his eyes remained focused on yours as he recited every word. but you could tell he wasn't speaking something memorized or forced; he was speaking from his heart. you could hear it, as if eywa herself was whispering it to you. but you were hurt. could you trust someone so soon?

almost as if he could read your thoughts, he spoke up again.

"i know your trust is weary right now, but let me prove it to you. i will court you properly, meet your parents officially, ask for their blessing, i–" lo'ak sighed, almost as if he didn't want to continue, but he did. "i'll even stop fighting with ao'nung." that got a laugh out of you.

"lo'ak, are you sure about that?" you asked, looking up at him through your tears, flashing the first genuine smile he had ever seen on you. he was amazed. if he thought your fake smile lit up a room, then your genuine smile could bring light to an entire clan.

"i would do whatever you want me to do, syulang. i just want to be with you. i want to love you if you'll have me. we can take things at your pace. i'm in no rush because, for you, i would wait forever," he yearned for you, waiting patiently to see if you'll accept him.

you couldn't find any reason not to. this boy had to have been sent to you by eywa. he was meant to be the remedy to heal your heart after this tragic breakup. you were crying, but they were tears of joy and relief. you were finally free. free to feel love. free to feel happy. free to be you.

in the heat of the moment, you felt something wiggling under the ground beneath your leg. looking down, you see a glow worm inching up your leg. most do not know, but since the metkayina spirit tree is underwater, these little glow worms come up from the sand or appear on or around you whenever eywa tries to give you a sign. they're the metkayina equivalent of a woodsprite.

you could only gasp at the sight of the tiny creature. so he really is eywa sent? you thought as you saw a glow worm crawling up lo'ak's shoulder. this caused you to laugh, seeing as he also noticed the glow worm on his shoulder and started to panic, trying to flick the bug off his shoulder without hurting it.

"kehe, don't do that," you said as you grabbed his hand to prevent him from hurting the poor thing. you carefully placed your hand in front of the glowworm, allowing it to crawl into your palm. you took lo'ak's hand in yours, facing his palm up to allow the glow worm to walk from your hand to his.

"what is this?" he asked as he brought his hand closer to his face turning it as the glow worm walked around.

"i've heard about omatikaya woodsprites from kiri. they are like that but for the reefs. they are sent from eywa, meant to be wordless messengers," you explained to the forest boy.

your forest boy.

lo'ak couldn't help but smile at you, processing the words you had said. as he spoke again, he held nothing but love in his eyes, "y/n, i see you. oel ngati kameie," he gently held your face in his hands to ensure you made eye contact with him as he said it to you. you cried even harder because rotxo had never said that to you. and you're glad he didn't because you wouldn't have been able to say this back,

"oel ngati kameie, forest boy."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for reporting my coworker friend to hr for harassing our other coworker friend?

(🥩🦎 to find later)

I (23nb) work at a food service place and always close with the same two people one day of the week, we'll call these people N (20m) and Red (19nb). We all met at work and being closest in age with each other compared to most of the other people there plus having similar-ish interests, we started hanging out with each other outside of work

Red is the kind of person who overshares with people right after meeting them, and N is the kind of person who rarely takes anything seriously and thinks its funny to pretend to be a jerk and bigot (hes the only cis white neurotypical guy at work while red and i are both trans and autistic and I'm black), so Red has shared a lot of their trauma and past with the both of us and N typically uses it to jokingly bully them

Now most of the time Red and I are okay with N's jokes, and we make it clear where our boundaries are and N usually respects this with the exception of a few times we've had to make it very clear where our boundaries are after he's crossed them. But lately N keeps poking at one particular thing of Red's that is especially triggering for them, and this has happened two weeks in a row now. I don't know what this thing is specifically because both times I've been just out of earshot when the topic has been brought up, Ive just been told by Red that it has to do with the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

Both times this has happened Red has, understandably, gotten really upset and angry at N, and N only apologized for it the first time it happened. This week when it happened apparently he only started to make a joke about it but then stopped before he finished it because he thought better of it, but it was still enough for Red to figure out what N was gonna say and be upset about it.

I've tried to explain to N why even if he didn't completely say the joke he was going to make it still hurt Red, but he just sort of threw a tantrum about not understanding why he was getting in trouble for something he didn't say and concluded that it would be better to say it outright if he's going to get in trouble just for thinking it anyways.

I've also tried to convince Red to either just stop joking around with N while at work or report him to our manager or hr themself, but they're standing firm on that it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with and that it wouldn't be if N could learn to think before he speaks.

I'm also convinced that Red would feel bad if they reported N because he's been reported by other coworkers in the past year and everyone we work with including our manager often pokes fun at him to varying degrees of intensity and they might feel bad if he lost his job because they reported him. (Red has a second job somewhere else while this is N's full time job)

My concern is that N is actively making Red feel unsafe and uncomfortable, and I also feel uncomfortable both in knowing that N would carelessly cross our boundaries for the bit and also because of the tense and awkward atmosphere in the workplace that has followed immediately after both times he's done it. I don't want to have to deal with that and I'm pretty sure Red doesn't want to either.

I told N right when I learned that he'd joked about Red's trauma again that he was on strike 2, and i plan on telling N and Red both that i plan to take action if it happens next time i work with both of them.

WIBTA for following through and reporting N? Am I overstepping into a situation I'm barely involved in?

What are these acronyms?

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[be-good-to-bugs]

the world isnt so bad

[hobisstar]

What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader V Last Part

Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.

Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN.

Taglist: vante 🫶🏾

A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol. This has been absolutely fun to write for you guys! Im so happy how much love it had gotten over the past month since ive been writing it! I love you all so so much! Enjoy!

Its been about two years since Jungkook decided to let yn go on her own! So far, yn has become the owner of the coffee shop, has opened up plenty of them across Asia and plans to open some in The Untied States.

Life has been looking absolutely beautiful for yn! But heres the thing.

Bodies have been discovered. Fresh bodies. Of course going through what she went through with Jungkook, she feared that this was his doing. That the so called hobby has now reached the news channels. Though it says that the crimes has been in only England, it was still capability of it being Jungkook.

“Yn! Are you even listening? Im telling you Namjoon wants to take you on a date!” Joy, yns now close friend that she has gained from opening the coffee shops.

“Sorry, but i dont think im ready to date. The last guy was for 5 years and it didn’t turn out well in the end.” Yn mumbled looking over at the tv that was on the crime scene of the killings.

But what was showed, made yns blood run cold.

What was at the crime scene was dandelions.

The flowers that Jungkook always used to gift her on days he felt like we did something wrong. He would cut the steam off and just leave the flowers to never be able to grow again.

Was he…back?

It was closing time and of course yn being the owner, she decided that it was her duty to close every single night.

But tonight, she couldnt shake the feeling that she was being watched.

As everyone was leaving she saw a guy with a big hoodie on taking his time to clean up his mess on the table. Putting his crumbs inside a napkin then taking the napkin and closing it tightly then throwing it out.

yn watched from behind the counter taking containers from the counter and putting them on the shelf behind her.

This mysterious guy has been coming in everyday. Same time. She never serves him but she knows Joy does and she hates serving him. ‘His glare, it can kill.’ She would say when describing the eyes of this mysterious man.

While cleaning she saw the guy get up and come up to the counter.

Face mask on and glasses… sun glasses.

Its night time.

Maybe it was a fashion statement. Thats what yn left it as. “ Hi sorry we are about to close soon so im gonna have to ask you to leave..” is what she was aiming to say but once she turned around she saw he just left a napkin with hand writing on it.

She grabbed it and began to read it:

“Hi baby! Oh its been such a long time, oh how i miss you. Our child also misses you. 2 years right? That is let you go? Ah, I remember something. Today is our anniversary! Our now 7 year anniversary. Im picking you up at 11! Be ready!

JJK,”

Yn was at this point shaking. Fear took over her body but was trying to hide it. She wasnt doing such a good job at that. As much as she wanted to call the cops, get him arrested, she knew that those cops had no chance in trying to get Jungkook.

Hed kill them all in the blink of an if he even knew that they talked to yn.

When yn got home she didnt let the fact go that when she got there she obviously saw Jungkooks car right outside her town house.

Mind you this is the 5th time this year she has moved. None of the reasons dealing with Kook but they definitely where personal reasons.

She braced herself, once she goes inside her home, Jungkook will be inside.

She could call the cops and run away from home then go to Jins house.

Actually now that Yn thought about it, what if Jin had something to do with it? He was always to calm for her liking honestly. Why was he always just so calm with him? I mean he explained it yes, hes seen it for so many years but why didnt he at least call the cops? Then again was the cops really gonna help him?

Entering the home, it felt like deja vu. Coming home on anniversary and Jungkook was cooking their favorite shared dish.

Spaghetti! Yn liked it because it was delicious and Jungkook probably like it because it reminded him of blood.

“My love! You are right on time! The Spaghetti is hot and ready to be platted. Get comfortable and come eat”

He didn’t need to turn around for yn to know that it was actually him. He colored his tattoos, became more swoll and also cut his long hair.

Yn didnt change anything or didnt get comfortable since this was all just too much for her.

‘Keep calm and go with his plan, yn.’ Thats all she kept telling herself.

Though what was his plan? Drug her? Kill her?

Well, none of those. He wanted her back. If that meant living in this house with her, then so be it. Jin had Bam so, they’d have plenty of time together.

Finally he sat down with two plates of spaghetti and there he was in all his glory.

He had the cockiest smirk while toying with his now new lip ring before sitting down across from yn.

“ Fucking finally, i have you again.”