#this is a CHICKEN SCRATCH sorta post

[tensionpoints]

Anyway, let’s ask questions & make note of things!

(It's a strange letter. It's more or less completely illegible…)

“Strange letter” there’s various ways to interpret this— is it strange for a vday card? Or strange for other reasons? It’s very long, for certain. and it disappears! Why else could this be ‘strange?’

“Completely illegible” is this bad handwriting, or is this wingdings? Or a secret 3rd thing?

(But, if you squint your eyes, and, you squint your heart… For some reason, you feel you could understand it)

“Squinting your eyes and heart” is a very strange sentiment, and I feel it’s too easily brushed over. Heart, obviously could refer to the SOUL, but what gets me the most about this is the grammatical structure of the sentence.

1. “But,” starting a sentence with a coordinating conjunction is, for the most part, frowned upon. Why separarte this from the first sentence, starting another?

2. “But, if you squint your eyes, and, you squint your heart… For some reason, you feel you could understand it” let’s start by sorting this into clauses.

“But, [if you squint your eyes], and, [you squint your heart…] For some reason, [you feel] [you could understand it]”

Time for some questions! Why put a comma after “and?” I could be misremembering, but a comma AFTER “and” is very awkward-sounding.

Also. It’s inconsistent? Why write it as “But, if you squint your eyes, and, you squint your heart…“ when it would be more consistent to have “But, if you squint your eyes, and if you squint your heart…” or “But, if you squint your eyes and (your) heart…” why repeat the verb? how many “you”s is the sender talking about?

3. Squinting your eyes is common to try to read illegible text, as you focus more on the finer details. What could squinting a HEART do? what would squinting a heart be LIKE.?

All in all for this section, the narration feels different to me than the usual narration in UTDR, but I can’t quite place why.

WELL,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OR, WAS IT THE OLD YEAR.

1. First impression I’m getting here is “does this person experience time linearly?”

2. Second thing I’m noticing: a question ending with a period rather than a question mark.

3. Thirdly, the sender seems, at best, unaware, or, at worse, confused.

WELL,

IN ANY CASE, HOW IS DELTA RUNE?

1. Why are you asking US, sender?

2. What is MEANT by “delta rune?” the game? The symbol? What are we talking about?

AS YOU ARE WAITING

PATIENTLY, THE TIME IS GOING AROUND.

THERE WAS EVEN A RUMOR OF "VALENTINE'S DAY".

HOW ABSURD.

EVERY DAY IS A DAY OF LOVE,

IF ONLY YOU BELIEVE IT SO.

DO YOU BELIEVE IT SO?

…

1. What are we waiting for? The next release, or something else?

2. “The time is going around” feels like it’s worded this way deliberately. What does this mean?

3. “There was even a rumor of “valentine’s day” is this world building? There are lightners AND darkners with valentines. Why does this idea sound foreign to the sender to the point that the day is a “rumor?” Where are you from, sender?

4. “How absurd. Every day is a day of love, if only you believe it so. Do you believe it so?” What do we mean by “love?”

SO, THE PURPOSE OF THE MESSAGE.

I WANT TO HELP!

YES, THERE WAS SOMEONE I WANTED TO HELP

…

1. Given the last section, this creates an interesting vibe imo? This is a letter of “I want to contribute” and not “be mine 💘” which makes this feel even MORE out of place. Are you supposed to be here???

I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN WHO..

YES, IT'S QUITE IRONIC, BUT I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN.

WAS IT MYSELF? NO.

WELL, PERHAPS.

1. What, exactly, makes this ironic? In general for deltarune, or is there something about you that makes this something very odd?

2. “Was it myself? No. Well, perhaps.” What is a self, sender? How could it be that “no” and “perhaps” are both answers that are viable?

REGARDLESS, WHEN I SEE THEM, I'M CERTAIN I WILL KNOW IT STRAIGHT AWAY.

I NEVER FORGET SOMEONE I DON'T REMEMBER.

WILL YOU HELP ME?

…

…

1. “I’m certain I will know” will this be true for us as well? Are you a new character, or are you a character we’ve seen before?

2. “I never forget someone I don’t remember” also feels VERY deliberately worded. Something about this line is important, I think.

3. What do you need help with? I thought you were helping someone else?

4. The two lines of “…” next to each other strike me as odd. What does this mean?

YOU ARE VERY ODD, RESPONDING OUT LOUD TO A LETTER.

BUT, YOU SEEM RELIABLE.

I WILL BE COUNTING ON YOU.

1. This gives more of an in-game vibe than the rest of the letter, acting as though we have turned this into a dialogue.

2. What makes us reliable?

3. Counting on us for WHAT?

4. I feel like there’s some kind of joke lying in wait here over “letter” juxtaposed with “counting”

NOW, PUT ON YOUR COAT AND WASH YOUR FACE!

OR, PUT ON YOUR FACE AND WASH YOUR COAT.

NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.

OR, IN ANY ORDER AT ALL.

1. This general section really has me curious as to who the sender is. After all, this is a very strange manner of speaking here. Love the silliness. Very unsure of what this means on a larger scale.

2. Why are we being told to do this?

GOOD BY!

1. I’ve seen SOOOOOO many people mention the spelling here. Curious if it means anything, or if it genuinely is just a mistake.

(There was a sound like something walking away

And, the letter was gone.)

1. Again, the narration seems odd with the grammar here?

2. This is SO funny when we consider this letter was replaced with a blank. Toby why did you do this it’s hilarious.

3. I wonder if inanimate object (letter) with legs and the cup Toby asked us to look at are connected.

Verdict: probably Not gaster, but Deffo suspicious. Cant count anything out yet imo.

[adultswim2021]

Moral Orel: “Abstinence” | January 18, 2009 | Unaired Special

Abstinence, “the nearly lost episode of Moral Orel”, or “episode 14 of 13” was an episode of the show that was left in an incomplete state thanks to Adult Swim cutting down the episode order. The audio for the episode was recorded, at least mostly (some characters might be scratch tracks, but I’m not certain), but the animation hadn’t been done. So, some people who worked on the show took it upon themselves to animate the radio play using “Orel’s Movie Premiere” style claymation. 

I’m glad they did it, because this is a worthy episode to have exist, even if it’s not 100% a “real” episode. This actually comes pretty damn close to being as satisfying as watching a normal episode. I wish we lived in the alternate universe where Dino manages to talk Adult Swim into letting him animate the show this cheaply in exchange for more episodes.  

This episode takes place during season two (with a post-Nature scene at the end). Doughy has long been neglected by his parents, who simply give Doughy a few bucks and ask him to stay out all day so they can neck with each other. They are now requesting Doughy stay out overnight. Not used to non-daytime activities, Orel encourages Doughy to just do what he does and walk around trying to help people. Doughy keeps encountering people trying to have sex with each other and manages to cockblock them all.

This leads to Doughy getting a job cockblocking actual roosters from impregnating the farmer’s chickens. He loses this job because Ms. Censordoll’s campaign to illegalize succeeds. Doughy winds up working for Ms. Censordoll as a masked superhero that goes around breaking up congress everywhere. 

This one has a very funny joke at the beginning, where Doughy and Orel are waving goodbye to a busload of gay men, and remarking how it was a big mistake bussing them into Moralton. Do you think the show was cleverly going to show the gay dudes in another episode to explain the beginning of this one? And, don’t you think it’s sad they left on the bus and we didn’t get to watch them walk away (hubba hubba). I also laughed at the farmer’s extremely dumb and convoluted reason for not caging his roosters (it’s basically so he can say a dumb thing when asked why he’s not caging his roosters). 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Moral Orel: The Unproduced Scripts

A couple of scripts for episodes have been shared online. I remember Dino posting one on his Myspace page. The episodes are: 

Raped: This episode was going to be a late season three episode. The original arc for the season was meant to include Arthur Puppington, Clay’s father, moving into Orel’s bedroom while he waits to die of some painful life-ending disease.

Miss Sculptham finds that she is still pregnant post-abortion. That’s because she had twins, and only managed to kill one of them. So she arranges a visit to the prison to talk to Cecil Creepler’s (the guy what raped her) cell-mate to find out what his whole deal was (you know, being naturally curious about the father of her future child). This leads to her deciding to marry this man, even though he’s spending the rest of his life in prison. Orel is being a bitch about it, and celebrates when the guy backs down. The end of the episode is Sculptham falls in love with a woman and is denied for a marriage license, because “this is America”. She can get married to an actual convicted rapist, but not to another woman. 

I was about to comment on the time and place in which this episode was produced, but then realized: I have no idea how legal gay marriage actually is these days. Weird guys have been fighting over the stuff a lot lately. It took a weirdly long time for gay marriage to become any kind of legal here, and it’s still contentious. I just have a vague sense of reading it in 2009 and it feeling very pointed and topical. Pretty weird that it still sorta might be.

This episode was sorta billboarded in Alone, where we learn about Scultham’s rape and her abortion. There also a reference to this in “Abstinence”, where one of the encounters Doughy puts a stop to is one between Creepler and Scultham. 

Narcissism is the other “lost” episode. I never actually read this script before tonight, and I don’t know what the origin of this one’s leakage is or if it’s liberation was acrimonious or not. This one is another Putty-centric episode and is basically a follow-up on the events of Sundays. Putty becomes so obsessed with Florence and uninterested in other women that it makes him attractive. He unceremoniously beds all the hotties of Moralton and doesn’t feel a thing the entire time. His obsession with Florence is simply because she’s disappeared, and Putty doesn’t know where she went. When he finally finds her, she’s lost weight and is generally happier. It appears they get together by the end of the episode. 

I think Arthur is also in this episode, but I forget. I remember Oral mentioning him in a funny bit where he says he would do unto others with his Grandpa, who is currently dying in his bed. Orel says his Grandpa would probably let Orel die in his bed if things were the other way around. 

I found a thing on the Moral Orel wiki where Dino apparently posted the synopsis for the some of the unproduced scripts. I’d been looking for this to quote and kept coming up dry, so now that i found it, I’m just gonna paste it here in this post. The links link to pages on the wiki, and the scripts I described are available on their respective pages:

1. Easter: "Orel's Grampa (Clay's father) comes to Moralton to tie up loose ends before he dies. He ends up sharing Orel's bed as his death bed for the last ten episodes, giving Orel good advice. (happens during the Sacrifice episode)." 2. Nurture: "Shapey and Block nurture each other and grow emotionally." 3. Narcissism: After cutting it off with Florence, Putty becomes disillusioned with all women. This makes him incredibly attractive to all the females in Moralton and he becomes the most available bachelor in town, f***ing tons of *****. This makes him even more bored with every lady out there. He starts picturing Florence as he's f***ing everyone. When he finally runs into Florence, she is dating someone else and is really really thin. Putty's disappointed in her appearance. He's been picturing fat Florence, and even though she's prettier on a shallow level, longs for her previous look. She explains that she got so depressed when he stopped seeing her that she didn't feel like eating. He happily tells her now that he's back and she can get fat again. She is insulted by his self-centered attitude and tells him to go away. In the end, I think he probably wins her back though by showing he really cares. 4. Untitled: "Bloberta and Officer Papermouth accidentally bump into each other late at night, both reaching into the garbage can outside Nurse Bendy's apt. and simultaneously grabbing the "Sonny" Teddy bear. Papermouth chivalrously let's Bloberta keep it, and this starts off an affair between the two of them. It ends up being very good for the both of them. Not sure how Clay reacts. Didn't get very far on this one." 5. Untitled: "I wanted to write the continuing saga of Orel and Christina, but never got to it. No solid ideas on this." 6. Raped: A script for this episode was briefly put on Stamatopoulos's MySpace blog. It expanded on Miss Sculptham's trauma over being raped. She would take the kids on a field trip to prison to meet the man's cellmate and strike up a brief relationship with him. 7. Death: "Orel's Grampa finally dies. Orel doesn't find too much solace from anyone and becomes a Goth kid, getting heavily into the Christian Death Metal band: Multiple Godgasm. Don't want to say much more about this, on the remote chance that there will be a Moral Orel movie, I'd like to use a lot of this story."

And that’s it for Moral Orel. Unless you count the special. Unless you count the Frankenhole Bumper where he cameos. Unless you count Australian DVD releases. But you can COUNT on me… blogging about it!!!!

[arospaceboy]

I saw a post with goblins that have like bat like features and I loved it. I sorta had this idea ages ago, but couldnt figure out how to do it.

My baby boy looks so fun like this, big fan :)

Any input at all is encouraged! Hoshiko is my favorite problem!

sorry that my notes are all chicken scratch

quick gif of my drawing process under the cut

Enjoy!

firealpaca gave me some problems trying to record this lol.

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

[lmanburg-letter-service]

Dear, well, the rest of SBI I guess?

It's been a looong time since I've seen you three, and I guess I sorta miss you. Not a lot though, obviously, I'm a big man and I don't miss anybody

To Phil, I hope you're okay and doing well, that you've found the person, or people? that you were looking for. It'd be so funny if the crows found them first and sent you on a wild goose chase, but guess I won't ever find out

I do hope that you managed to get yourself out of the one sticky situation that you found yourself in. I hope you're okay and haven't forgotten me because the last letter I can remember from you is one from source. I miss your stories and adventures. Maybe you'll find yourself back here again sometime soon, but I dunno, I hardly believe that honestly

To Technobladee, don't tell Wil, but you're still my favorite brother no matter how much stuff happened between us. I think I finally understand where you were coming from, with the government stuff and what-not.

I get the whole corruption and control stuff now and I guess there's other stuff with it but I don't have the energy to cover this stuff the way you did with your "Gov. Bad. Anar. Good." lectures. Did you ever get better at those? I sure hope so cus those were borin as shit to sit through

But I do still love you, even if we ended stuff on a bad note before you left the smp. I sometimes hope you got my letters, but even then, it doesn't feel like you did. I think you would've been proud of my writing improvement, too. It stopped looking like "chicken scratch" (even though it was fine and completely legible to me) after a few letters, and I'm still good at writing now aside from a few imperfections that I like

To Wilbur? I don't really know what to say. You're not Philza Minecraft. Therefore, you're automatically one of the worst people alive- or unalived-alive? At this point, you're just redeadvibed and passed Dreams stupid revival vibe check with even gayer colors than the last. (Seriously, what was it between you and Quackity?)

But really, you needed help, and I really hope you had gotten it because I think I miss you. I miss just hanging out with you and having fun in our crappy van. I miss the late night campfires where you'd play a random song on the guitar for everybody far and near.

I hated the person you became for a bit, and then I hated Phil for a bit because I thought it was his fault. Then I realized it was Philza, and I can't hate Phil. So, I blamed everyone else around me for the longest time because I didn't understand why nobody had helped you.

I don't really know where else to go with this part of the letter, I had more to say, and then I got distracted, and now I can't remember. I just,, hope you're finally okay, or at least on the road to getting there. I know it was my fault, I know I cut you off, but I genuinely miss you, I just don't know the first thing about finding you.

To the admin, sorry this is so long, boss man, I'm just realizing I could have sent in separate much shorter letters rather than one big one. I don't really want to flood your inbox, though

Anyways,

This is from Tommy, AKA The Biggest Man around (also also if this does get posted, can it be tagged with fictive tags? not forced)

[Letter Sent!]

[art-forged-from-vengeance]

omori redraw

normal and flipped. top left corner is original drawing from a year ago pointing out every issue under the cut

since this was basically a warmup sketch theres a lot i didnt have the energy to fix but i'll point them out regardless -head is sort of .. going to the left. as you can see from the og drawing this has been an ongoing problem for my entire drawing career -hand on violin doesn't ... work. i didn't use a ref for either hands and i dont know what a violin really looks like or how it works or how you play it so -arms are sorta symmetrical and i Dont like that. i didnt bother to fix the stiff posing from the og drawing either oops -clothes are weird. sleeves dont look natural somehow

improvements from og drawing -i like to think that the expression is better but now im not sure -got rid of at least a little chicken scratch lining -clothes look better idk what was going on w the shirt collar in the og lmao

this one wasn't too bad. 5.5/10

edit two seconds after posting this i realized i could just adjust the neck and head. idk if it's better or worse bc i fucked up the head shape and cant get it to go back

[ihatebnha]

 deku + love notes

...where in which I am once again reminded that I am bad at introspection… although tbh, I never really forgot. Sometimes, when I have a headcanon about a character that is so vivid, particular, or strong, I flounder trying to figure out what I want to say. Deku and… being sorta… artistically well versed is one of them. Makes me emotional lowkey LOL... so I’m floundering. 

This was inspired by a note I found at work though and it just had to come out.

(warning: dunno. gendernuetral)

-

You knew, from the second you started dating Izuku Midoriya, that it wouldn’t be easy. In his own words, from his own mouth, he told you that he would never be around… not because he didn’t want to be, but because he couldn’t be. 

It’s fine. It sucks. It’s okay. 

You have long since become aware that this kind of love is a choice. That relationships worth fighting for aren’t built on aligning schedules, rampant, red-hot desire not enforced by how often you can see someone… and regardless of the fact, you, of all people, know just how deeply Deku loves. It’s fundamental in your understanding of him, and part of your acknowledgement that he is the strongest hero: having the ability able to shoulder what other people cannot. 

So it makes things worth it, when he comes home and reminds you of how little has changed despite his absence. That the him-sized hole in your being is even greater inside his. But he doesn’t relent or give up, doesn’t submit to the burden of missing you, because just as he should, just like he wants to, he always comes home. 

In his absence though, as a reminder, as proof, you find them sometimes. Notes. Squares of little, yellow paper marked with that familiar chicken scratch writing and scrawl. On them, proclamations of love in the form of tightly spaced letters and ink that blurs the post-it; haphazard, quick, and careless looking… almost as though someone didn’t want to but decided so anyway. Like time said ‘no,’ and yet he did not care. 

The first one is left on your kitchen table one morning, after you wake up and find yourself alone. You scratch your head when you read it, blink and let out a wry-sounding breath. It says, “Sorry I had to leave. x.” 

It’s typical of him. Familiar, almost, a reminder of what the beginning of your relationship was like, when kisses really were scarce, and mornings together even farther apart. You save the note anyway, put it in your nightstand and then swallow the bitterness down with your morning coffee. 

It should make you happy he even thinks of you, and it does, as just as soon, the second note arrives stuck to the laptop on your desk. It’s a story in four sentences, even if you hadn’t known that Deku had even been home. 

“Hi,” it says. Your name is scribbled. “I saw the ocean today and thought of you. Guess I’m always thinking of you. Let’s do something soon. Izuku.”

There is a smiley face next to his signature. A wobbly-looking heart, too, unsure in its rather naked stance: an apology, though you’ve never really needed on. In his hesitance, you have both seen Deku and you’ve missed him, woken up with him and gone to bed... so you tape the note to your calendar as a reminder that he’s trying, and of the fact that he wants to. 

It’s a handful of weeks later that you find the third note with a drawing.

In your bag, it’s tucked way down between a book and your water bottle. On it, a messy stick figure, with three fingers on each hand, lopsided hair, and freckles stands next to what you suppose is meant to be the beach. Above it, it says, “I love you. I miss you,” and below it, “See you soon!”

It makes you roll your eyes, smile, and laugh just a little bit... and you tuck it back into the pages of your book to keep it safe. He texts you, too, not too long after... and says he’ll be home for dinner. 

Deku can’t always be with you. You know this. He does, too. But that doesn’t mean he can’t remind you, in every way he knows how, that he is just as close as he is far. 

[shimmershaewrites]

A Matching Set (Caryl Post Season 10 One Shot + Grimes babies + Lydia and some Aaron).

Just a little tooth-rotting fluff I found on my hard drive half finished.  Kinda, sorta Christmas fic but not.  Read it.  You’ll see.  Sorry not sorry.  

“Play lots of Tetris as a kid?”  

 The mountain man beard does precious little to hide Aaron’s brief grin as he waits for Daryl to add more to that blurted, out of the blue question.  

 Daryl doesn’t blame him.  They ain’t talked a lick since they set off beyond Alexandria’s gates with a wobbly ass wheelbarrow and an ax in dire need of sharpening.  Once or twice, Aaron’s hummed a few notes of a couple vaguely familiar Christmas tunes, but other than that?  Radio silence.  Surprise or not, however, he figures the question’s pretty on point.  Especially considering their current means of passing the dwindling daylight hours.  “So.  Did ya?” he asks again, blue eyes averted and squinting as they search out any signs of potential danger, human or otherwise. Nothing’s there.  Hasn’t been since they took the head of the last Whisperer snake, but old habits?  They die hard.  And if they’ve kept his heart beating this long, he’s not looking to abandon them. ‘Sides.  If there were anything out there, he has no doubts Dog would be the first to alert them.  Provided, of course, he wakes his lazy ass up in time.      

 Rising and carefully slotting the last piece of tinder into place atop their firewood pyramid, Aaron lets his own eyes flit over the gray horizon.  “See anything?”  Soon as Daryl shakes his head, he allows his shoulders to relax.  Then he laughs to himself quietly.  “As a matter of fact, I did play.  You?”  

 Breath whining past his chapped lips, Daryl doesn’t respond.  He’s too focused on heaving the wheelbarrow out of the mud that’s caked around its wheels, his boots, even the abandoned ax.  Loaded down as it is, shit’s definitely heavier than it looks, and he gives up, at least momentarily.  “That the last of it?”  

 Aaron nods, bending to reclaim the ax.  “That’s the last of it.”  Daryl’s muttered thank fuck has his eyes crinkling in a way they haven’t in ages, at least not in the presence of anybody but Gracie.  “Need a little help?”  

 It takes the both of them working together to get the wheelbarrow out of the rut and bumping along the path home.  They’ve been walking a while, Dog trotting on ahead, before Daryl picks the dangling thread of conversation back up.  “Played,” he admits.  “Hell else was detention good for?”  

 “Homework,” Aaron quips.  

 “Pfft.  Bet your ass was the permanent hall monitor.”

 “You’re looking at a Hall of Famer.”  

 Daryl simply smirks.  

 “Ah, the Daryl Dixon approximation of a belly laugh.  I’m breathing rarified air.”  When his teasing is merely taken in stride, his steps start to slow and he regards Daryl with something akin to wonder.  Dog even turns back to stare.  

 Feeling his friend’s eyes boring a hole in him, Daryl mutters, “Hell you staring at? Wanna trade places?”  

 Aaron takes but a second to consider the offer.  “I think I’ll pass.”  

 “No shit. Figured you’d say…”  

 “Carol prefers you.”  

    ---

 The sky’s bleached of any color by the time Daryl’s finally headed home.  The streets of Alexandria empty.  

 No wonder because there’s a storm blowing in.  First one in what promises to be a long winter season.  At least according to their self-appointed weather man Eugene.

 Personally? Daryl thinks it’s all some grade A bullshit.  Pouring over half a dozen dusty old Farmers’ Almanacs like they hold the answers. Plotting random patterns and pieces of data on time-yellowed paper in chicken scratch that would have put Merle’s own to shame.  He doesn’t need or believe any of it because he can feel it in his aging bones like some kind of wizened old wizard.  Course, it doesn’t take much these days to make old hurts echo.  And the cold he’s feeling now?  It chills his blood.  Makes him ache and wish to high hell he’d worn the ridiculous hat Carol had tried to shove down over his ears this afternoon before he and Aaron had left out. Embarrassing piece of yarn might have come in handy filtering out the hollow, haunted whistle of the wind, but damn if he was going to sacrifice his dignity like that.  Wearing a whole-ass pom-pom on top of his head.  A rainbow one at that.  Nah.  Weren’t all that long a walk from Aaron’s.  “Almost there,” he reminds himself.  “Almost.”      

 Dog’s got a little extra giddy-up in his step as he trots ahead.  

 The mutt looks back and whines as if to tell Daryl hurry and Daryl can’t help but huff something resembling a laugh as he reshuffles the load of firewood stacked clear to his chin to get a better grip.  His breath fogs in front of him like thick, odorless cigarette smoke and shit.  His fingers might be halfway numb, but they twitch reflexively for the vice he hasn’t allowed himself to indulge in months.  Shaking his head, he includes Dog when he grumbles.  “Getting soft.”  

 Dog hangs back and stares him down as if to say speak for yourself.  

 “Ain’t the only one,” Daryl generously allows when a particularly biting gust of wind swirls around them both.  It lifts his hair from his forehead and makes his eyes sting.  Has him hunching his shoulders clear to his ears as if that’d do him any good, and he finds himself hurrying just as much as the little fucker that finally abandons him, home within his sights.  “Ain’t the only one.”  

    He sheds his muddy boots just inside the kitchen door and tries to make a grab for Dog before he runs off, he really does, but the damn animal’s too squirrely.  Too excited to see his kids.  To see his girl.  Daryl can relate.  

 “Ten minutes later and we were going to send out a search party.”  

 The soft lilt of her voice brings a smile to his mouth before he’s even seen her.  “Promised I’d be back.”  All the leftover tension from the trek back through the woods melts away beneath her gentle touch and he leans his head back against her chest with a sigh.  

 “I know that,” she murmurs fondly.  “Judith knows that.  RJ too.”

 “Lydia?”

 “She worries. It’s sweet.”  

 What’s even sweeter is the feel of her hands in his hair, her nails tickling his scalp, and the smile he feels curve against his cheek before her lips leave a kiss there. “C’mere.”  

 She’s straddling his lap, arms hooked around his shoulders, and nose nestled against his own before he can ask her twice.  

 Daryl cups her head and coaxes her closer, her hair slipping like silk between his fingers. He kisses her until they both sigh.

 “Miss me, Mr. Crossbow?”

 Her smile fills his heart and works a lump into his throat.  “Always.  Know that.”

 She traces the bridge of his nose, the line of his jaw, the curve of his ear, and pouts. “Your ears are cold.”  

 “Should have worn the fucking hat.”  

 “I’m not one to say I told you so, but…”  

 “Pfft.”  

 “You really should have worn the fucking hat.  I mean, look at me.  Really look at me.  This isn’t the time or place for vanity,” she teases.    

 “That’s the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen.”  She giggles like a girl.  Like Judith. Like Lydia when she doesn’t think anybody’s watching.  And he’ll tell her a thousand times the sweater is ugly just to hear that sound again, even though she’s still the prettiest thing he ever did see.  “The ugliest damn sweater.”  

 “The ugliest.  I left yours upstairs at the foot of the bed.”  

 “Carol.”  

 “They’re a matching set.”  

   ---

 The logs are crackling in the fireplace when he comes back downstairs and joins them.  

 RJ and Judith have their heads together nearby, talking in whispers and giggles.  Both of them seemingly transfixed by the orange sparks that float and flicker like fireflies against a midnight sky.  

 Lydia’s got a book and Dog in her lap and a blanket tucked around her toes.  A soft, hesitant smile plays upon her lips when she spies him, and she’s quick to bury her nose back in her book before it can visibly stretch from ear to ear.  

 “Stahp,” he gives a preemptive grumble when Carol glances up from mending his raggedy ass pants and her sassy mouth starts to twitch.  “Woman,” he warns with an accusatory finger when the first laugh sputters free. “If I didn’t know better…”  

 “Is Aunt Carol in trouble?” RJ asks his big sister.  

 Judith’s smile is soft and knowing even at her tender age.  “Not really.”  

 “They gonna kiss again?”

 Lydia does the answering this time.  “Probably.”

 “Did the Brave Man kiss Mama all the time too?”  

 “He did,” Judith answers wistfully.  

 “Why?”  

 “It’s what two people that love each other do.”  

 The dancing twinkle in Carol’s blue eyes softens into something else altogether, something that although it makes Daryl’s cheeks flush pink in the glimmering firelight, he brings her hand to his mouth and presses the imprint of his smile to her palm.  “Hear that?”  

 “Ain’t telling me nothing I don’t know, Sweetheart.  Now ‘bout this ugly ass sweater…”  

 “Nobody else could pull it off as well as you do, Pookie.  Nobody.”  

[neproxrezi]

Ao Oni fic as in the game with the weird purple monster guy??

psa: i found out by accident mid writing this if you press shift+enter on a text post it makes a smaller line break? holy fucking shit i’ve been here ten years and i never noticed this feature

yeah that one! i think an internet friend recommended it to me in about 2011 and for some reason i just sorta got hooked on the concept and wrote like a bunch of fic about it, it was basically just a retelling of the game where i eventually branched off and did my own thing instead

there were two i wrote, one on deviantart (i used to just write into the text input rather than a word doc for some idiot reason) that started as a copy of the handwritten fic then branched off bc i wrote that one faster, aaand the one in the journal

not to psychoanalyse my past self too much but when i read it back i’m comforted by how much my feelings on a lot of things have changed, and also i see a lot of myself in how i wrote the characters... the main character is a very neat cold calculating analytical sharply dressed person with a cool girlfriend (which is exactly what i used to want to be when i was 14, let’s not even get into how much i screwed my ability to outwardly emote over in that time) who winds up being a huge dick to everyone and very much the villain and the side character i inexplicably turned into the bad guy is.. literally just a caricature of everything negative i felt about myself at the time? he turns out to not be that bad a person but the narcissistic idiot protag neglects him and leaves him to die

let’s not overthink all of that huh

it’s really odd to read back, i’ve tried to transcribe it in full to a word doc a few times but it’s challenging because the handwriting is chicken scratch and the paragraphs are... i need you to understand i do not use the term cringe lightly and some of this journal is so cringe it’s physically painful

i should really do it though because the journal is in such shitty condition

[wingleader]

So this year can end already

Hey all. I haven’t posted an update in my #cluckingham palace tag in a while.

Big chicken-related update under the cut, with both very sad (RIP Corporal) and very happy (babies!) news.

Earlier this year we managed to finish up the new chicken coop enough that we could move the birds out of the temporary coop that they had been in since the old coop kept getting flooded out. No climate change, my arse.

Anyway, as we all know, this year sorta dragged at the start and then just ZIPPED by and summer was over and now it’s fall, wth.

Things were good! And then my boy, Corporal, fell very suddenly ill over a weekend and, despite my very best and most dedicated efforts, passed away before I could get in contact with a vet. He was six years old, but i feel like he had so much more time in him. I don’t know what happened. I am still grief stricken by this. He was my best boy and such a good bird and I’m going to miss him immensely.

In the aftermath of losing him, though, I decided to quickly round up some eggs from his ladies. He was the only rooster I had with my bantams (since he was a Old English Game, and despite being a terrible fighter, he insisted on picking fights with every other boy, even if they were ten times his size.). My gameplan was to hatch 5 eggs in the hopes that one or two would end up being little roosters. They won’t replace Corporal the Fox Fighter, but they can carry on his legacy.

So, weeks one and two pass, I candle each egg and everything is going great! Then, on day 19 (after removing the turning tray the night before) I find this:

What the heck you doin’, babies?? You’re two days early! I scrambled to finish getting the brooder ready, and by the next morning all five eggs had hatched without a hitch. Once I got them moved over, though, some issues cropped up and my suspicions of something weird going on with the incubator (probably too high temp despite 2 thermometers) were confirmed.

All but 1 baby had curled toes, one baby had a single bulging eye, and one poor bab had curled toes and two bulging eyes. Turns out, those bulbous eyes are blind. I taped up all the curly feets (and they have since been sorted out without issue) but my ordeal with the blind and half-blind babies would begin.

Meet Fish.

This poor kid came out of their shell completely blind, and the last week+ has been spent hand feeding this little thing and painstakingly teaching them how to find the food and water and eat on their own. Thankfully, my efforts panned out on day 5, and it’s now day 8 and Fish is doing fantastic. This was extremely stressful, all around, and I cannot quite portray on here how relieved I was when it finally “clicked” and they began pecking around for food in the dish on their own.

As mentioned, there were two babies with blindness issues, and this is where Sloth comes in (don’t worry, they were totally comfy and dozing off while being held that way). Thankfully, Sloth only has a single goofy eye and can see just fine.

Both Fish and Sloth needed a lot of attention in regards to their eyes. I consulted with a local vet and have been treating their eyes with ophthalmic solution. I had to switch over to antibiotic drops, however, when they seemed to have developed some scratched corneas. Baby chicks are wild things and having your soft, delicate eyes protruding sideways off of your face is not great. I’ve since carefully trimmed their wild foot claws (whoa, crazy extra toes!) so they won’t injure themselves further. Sloth seems to have the worse eye issue at the moment, but the antibiotic drops and supplemental vitamins and nutrients seems to be helping. So, that’s where I’m at (with my bantam flock, at least). Here’s some pictures of the final three! First up is the chonky goofball, Mango (who I suspect is a roo), and their two siblings who have yet to receive names (nothing has struck me quite yet).

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

APH College AU Headcanons:  Sweden

Dw, I’ll finish the Asians before moving on to the Nordics, I just had an urge to write Swe first. Explanation post here, AU tag is #college au musings on my blog!

- Architecture and design major

- As a hobby, he makes decorative and functional wood and clay figurines and furniture designs in the Scandinavian minimalism style.

- He usually makes smol animal figurines like this because they are smooth and curved with no sharp lines, friendly looking, and add nice, subtle touches to interior spaces. (But mostly, I just really like this headcanon because of the juxtaposition between a tall, intimidating looking guy working very diligently and quietly on small arts and crafts that could even be considered cute. It’s a nice image, and I think it’s fitting for Sweden’s character.)

- Decided to open an Etsy for his crafts and stuff (might as well try to support himself with his hobby). For each piece, there’s usually only one in stock because he makes everything by hand, so there aren’t any duplicates and every item he sells is slightly different. His shop is actually a lot more popular than his freelance work (see next hc); he thinks it’s sadly ironic his hobby is more useful than what he actually plans to do for a living :’) but he usually just takes it in stride and often reminds himself that he’s lucky to even have a hobby he can support himself with, and he doesn’t mind pivoting and making a living out of his Etsy.

- Trying to work freelance as a logo/graphic designer (he is an architecture student, but I don’t think many people would hire a college kid to design their buildings yet…). He’s still building up his portfolio, so he doesn’t have many customers yet.

- Lowkey dream job is to be an IKEA designer. Before you laugh, there are only 20 designers who make ALL the products they put out each year, so I’m gonna assume it’s incredibly hard to get a spot in the club.

- Really good at focusing, even though he lives in an apartment with the other Nordics who are very cHaoTiC

- Does fika almost religiously (it’s a Swedish coffee break where you relax and talk with the people around you, catch up and stuff). He never forgets it, and usually asks or forces the other Nordics to join him. It might be because of having this daily habit, but he never gets highkey stressed.

- B+ to A+ range grades. He really picked a good major, because he has an eye for design and a knack for building things, which makes homework and projects come fairly easy. Not a big fan of essays and typing, so he usually uses the dictation tool/voice input even if it sounds like he’s talking to himself (Denmark teases him about this a lot). His English and science skills are competent, but not stellar (and he’s not really interested in those subjects either), and he’s better at history and math.

- Always finishes his assignments in a timely manner; if he’s cramming or staying up late, he’ll only need an extra hour or two to wrap up and then he’ll go to bed around 11:30-12:45

- Very healthy lifestyle. Doesn’t eat much fast food or ramen or snacks instead of actual meals, exercises moderately, usually gets enough sleep. Has his life /mostly/ together so far.

- He used to go to the school cafe for breakfast but now just makes a half sandwich from scratch: one piece of toast with vegetables and some cheese on top. For lunch he always goes to the same food place and orders the same thing every time: chicken salad without mayonnaise and a yogurt (ok I have very little knowledge of food so please suggest alternatives that are more in character)

- Eats wheat crackers as a snack (would eat Swedish crispbread instead if he could buy it)

- Knows all the tricks when using rendering and editing software, ex Blender or photoshop. Very skilled at working on the computer for digital assignments.

- He prefers to take notes by hand, and always has a couple smaller sketchbook/graph paper notebooks on him (for design ideas and structure studies) as well as a lined paper one for notes. His handwriting is rather thin and narrow but very neat (like this). Has sworn off using pen.

- He renovated the Nordics’ whole shared apartment almost right after he moved into it (at the time it was just him and Denmark in there). Remade it into a perfect example of Scandinavian minimalism, and it’s very pleasant even if the rest of the apartment building is kinda dingy However, all the Nordics have personally redecorated their bedrooms to fit their own aesthetic and Sweden has a bit of a seizure when he goes into Finland’s room and sees death metal/rock aesthetic everywhere

- Doesn’t speak often in class, but when he does, it’s a thoughtful, intriguing comment or a well planned burn

- Has a fairly good relationship with his professors; they like his work ethic, designs, and how he’s pretty mature (some of them also like his lowkey sass). He likes them as well because they aren’t very scared by his resting bitch face, and as a result he talks to them a lot and has gotten to know them well. He’s been highly recommended for internships by some of them

- He and Norway have roasting sessions as they look on at people (Denmark) doing stupid things (often while drunk)

- This has no canon context but I really want Sweden and Netherlands to be friends in this AU, so they are. They met through Denmark, and the three go biking together sometimes. Sweden is more uptight about stuff, being healthy and not being obscene in public and nOt SmOKinG NeD pls save your lungs, Ned does not care and goes right on smoking. But like, they both admire things about each other; Berwald likes Ned’s efficiency with money and how he can get along with many people (at least on a business level) and Ned is impressed with Berwald’s prowess in design. Also they are both tall and sorta intimidating and that is a good enough similarity for a foundation of friendship

- He hasn’t joined a club, but has been called by the art people, some theater people, and some other miscellaneous clubs to build props and things for them. He’s chill about it, and likes taking the odd jobs around campus (obviously he doesn’t get paid but whatever)

- Has a reputation for being intimidating and scary because he doesn’t talk much and his face definitely isn’t an open book for his feelings, but if people actually talk to him without being scared they quickly find out he can be very playful, or at least is gentle and very nice

- But he doesn’t spill all his secrets to friends obviously; he just gets more talkative and more willing to share about things he likes and is passionate about

- I mentioned before that he’s not highkey stressed much, but he does feel like his future is futile (alliteration!) sometimes and sometimes just gets tired of doing work and needs a hug

- Also, you can’t really tell if he’s angry, but his expression gets stonier and he gets more threatening. Usually happens when someone insults one of his brothers or when he sees something unfair happening

I have some more but I forgot my basic structure for these headcanon posts so take this. Taiwan is next! Thank you for reading, and feedback is welcome and appreciated!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers VIII (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: Listen, I’m not saying my heart hurts every time I write their shitty talks, but I really need a hug right now. I’m too soft. Also, you guys prefer short chapters or long chapters? cause I have a 6k draft and idk if I should divide it into two parts or post it like that lmaoo

Words: 3,782

Warnings: Uh, sadness and we get a sort of graphic death scene. Alex has a gun to get rid of ghoulies so that’s also a thing ig?? The fluff might suffocate you.

Previous chapter // Next chapter

I bet you’re not surprised. This whole story started with me telling you that my life changed because of Josh. I guess is not a shocker to find out I didn’t leave the mall. Although the circumstances must’ve been surprising right? No? Okay then, party poopers. I’ll keep going with my narration:

“Where is he?”

“Still on the carrousel,” Angelica tells me, “he’s been there since last night”

“You keep giving him the slime?”

“Yes, I also make sure he eats it”

“Well, at least he’s eating something,” I sigh, “I don’t get it, where do you found her body again?”

Wesley coughs, he’s laying on the couch in front of me, so I can’t see his face but I can hear his voice:

“The middle of the street, close to a parking lot”

“Close to Cheeramazon territory?”

“No, no one lives there.”

“What was she doing there?”

“Maybe she was looking for Josh,” Offers Angelica, “you and Josh were loners, Sam could’ve been one too, only that she wasn’t lucky”

“Maybe”

I think about it for a moment, Sam and Josh were sorta dating when all this happened, they fought and she wants to fix things but she’s alone and things get out of control. It’s an awful thought, yet possible. 

“Why didn’t you tell me when you got back?” I ask them, “you seemed okay when I talked to you...”

“You were happy to see us back with the medicines,” Wesley retorts, “we didn’t want to ruin your mood. I know we did it anyway the next morning but at least you got to sleep better that night, right?”

“I suppose,” I sink further in the bed.

That afternoon I tell Angelica that I’ll take the slime to Josh and a small cup of the instant chicken soup I had on my bag.  He’s laying on the floor, his eyes are closed, however, I know he’s not sleeping. I know cause I’ve seen the way he looks when he sleeps. 

Okay, that sounded creepy. Ignore that I said that.

I walk up to him and kick his leg softly. He opens his eyes and looks over at me.

“Time to eat,” I put the bowl with slime next to his head and the chicken soup next to it, then I sit on his right. Josh gets up and takes the first bowl between his hands.

“I’m getting real’ tired of the taste,” His voice is low, hurting.

“You should’ve thought of that before cutting off your finger” I reply.

“I was preoccupied thinking about not becoming a Ghoulie.”

“Right,” I smile softly, “how are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” He looks at me briefly before putting his attention back on the slime, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay,” I change my position so I’m facing him completely, “I just want you to know that I get it. You don’t have to tell me anything but I know how you feel.”

He looks up again and this time his eyes remain on me, curiosity pouring through them.

“Your sister?”

“My sister, my parents, my best friend...” I sigh, “it’s all the same at the end if I’m honest”

“What do you mean?”

“My sister...” I explain, “I didn’t know exactly how old you had to be to turn into a ghoulie, so part of me was expecting to see her fine. Once I lived through that nightmare, everything else just felt... numb.”

------------------------------------------

“You sure this is the right hall?”

“Yes, Alex. Now stop talking before another horde of Ghoulies run our way.”

“That was one time and it was an accident!”

“Everything bad that happens to us because of your impulsiveness is always an accident according to you,” I reply sternly, “here...”

I point to the door on our left, my hands shaking.

“You ready?” Alex asks, holding the door’s handle.

“No,” I yelp, “I have to do it anyway...”

“Should I?”

“Open the door.”

Alex complies. It’s too dark to tell if there’s someone inside the dorm, I step in, with the boy following suit, too scared to talk. I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight.

“...Katie?”

Something moves under the covers of the bed. We jump back and the light trembles thanks to my own nerves. I decide to reach for the bed.

“Y/N...” Alex whispers beside me, “I don’t feel good about this.”

“Shh!” I look back at him, annoyed, “Maybe she’s hurt!”

I grab the covers tightly. For the first time in ten years, I want Alex to be wrong.

“It’s me, Vinchi,” I whisper at the figure, “Katie..?”

There’s a loud screech, then all I can see it’s a bloody face over mine with a set of familiar brown eyes. Katie scratches my arms and face, she pushes my head up so my neck is exposed and bites me. Hard. I scream and twitch under her, crying in pain. Then I hear a loud thud and her body slams against the bed’s frame.

I straighten up and put a hand over the bite, she didn’t get to tear off skin, but there’s plenty of blood and it’ll leave a scar. Katie is standing up again when Alex helps me to get on my feet.

“She’s gone, Y/N,” He tells me, but I can’t bring myself to believe him.

“No, not her. She’s young,” I insist, fighting to get out of his grip, “she’s just scared!”

“Look at what she did to you! She’s dangerous Y/N, we have to leave!”

“I can’t leave her!” I scream, “She’s my sister, I can’t leave her like this!”

“We can’t take her with us, she’s a Ghoulie!”

Katie attack us again, but this time I kick her before she gets to touch us. She crashes against the desk and the chair falls beside her. Katie’s on her knees when I jump into action and grab the chair, lifting it up and hitting her head with all my strenght.

“Fuck!” I tear up, “Why you?!”

I hit her at least twelve times. I was crying the whole time, the bite in my neck was pulsating and my hands felt stiff and soar from holding onto the chair like my life depended on it. I was angry and devastated, I just wanted all to be over soon.

I couldn’t recognize her face afterwards. I thought that was good, cause then it wasn’t her. Unfortunately, my brain didn’t have the same opinion. I do know that was my sister. I can’t forget.

------------------------------------------

“Although I did forget her last words,” I tell Josh, “actually, I think she turned into a Ghoulie in her sleep and I don’t know if that’s the reason why she wasn’t talking but I hope so, cause I don’t remember if she say something before I killed her.”

“Shit,” The soup is probably cold by now, but he’s not really paying attention to what he’s eating, “Do you really have... uh, you know, where she bit you?”

I pull the collar of my shirt to reveal the scar.

“I’m not self-conscious about it,” I say before he even asks, “if anything, this is sort of like the last thing I have left from my sister.”

“That’s a pretty dark thought,” He replies with worry.

“Is it?” I tilt my head, “yeah, I think you’re right.”

“You must’ve bled a lot... How did you get out?”

“I wasn’t alone, remember?” I let go of my shirt so my scar is covered again, “Alex was there”

------------------------------------------

“We need to get somewhere safe so I can help you with the bite,” Alex rasps as he pushes a Ghoulie down the main stairs.

“The blood will attract them, Al. You have to leave me.”

“No.”

He grabs my arm tightly and practically drags me outside the building towards our car. It’s surrounded by Ghoulies but he pulls out his gun and shots as many as he can reach on his first try. 

Alex didn’t know how to use a gun before the nuke, he learned fast cause the circumstances were asking for it. He quickly became accostumed and I made sure to always have enough bullets in case of an emergency.

“We need to leave now!”

I get inside the car, holding tightly my wound. Alex drives back to town as fast as he can, none of us has said a word, Katie’s body still present in our minds.

“There’s bandages on the back seat.”

“I know,” I reply without moving, “I told you to leave me behind.”

“You’re my best friend, I can’t do that”

“What if I turn into a Ghoulie?”

“We saw how Phillip got bitten and he was okay afterwards.”

Alex stops near Glendale when he offers a new plan.

“What if we don’t come back?”

“What?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Alex turns on his seat to look at me, “we have nothing but crappy memories of this place, we could make a whole new life outside... together”

I stay silent for what it feels like ages, my friend waits uneasy. 

“Y/N?”

“That’s a bad idea,” I open the door and get out.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m getting my stuff,” I open the back door and grab my two bags, “I’m leaving”

“Where?”

“Home.”

“You wanna go back?” Now he’s also out of the car, “To Glendale? The shittiest town you could live in right now?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the shittiest”

“You know what I mean,” Alex grabs my wrist softly, but it’s enough to further my annoyance, “we could travel, never settle down in one place... and there’s literally no adults to tell us we can’t”

“That’s all you can think of?” I ask in rage, “our parents where also part of the adults, our families just died. I- for fucks sake, Alex, I just had to kill my sister!”

“I know that!” He replies in the same tone, “I was there! Both times! And both times I got you out of trouble!”

“Jesus, thank you so much for shooting my dad in the face, Alex. I don’t know why I never thanked you for that.”

“That wasn’t your father anymore,” He lets go of me, “ Why are you so upset about it, I saved your life!” 

“Because they were my fucking parents!” I drop the bags on the floor, “It’s not my fault if you don’t care about how yours are probably eating european kids right now, is not my fault that your parents left you alone even before the explosion!”

I see how his expression changes and I don’t deserve to feel sad cause I did that on purpose, I couldn’t stay with him after what I had done. To me, that whole experience had taught one thing: Staying with someone would only increase the posibilities of dying or killing against my will. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do that a second time. Besides, nothing felt right anymore, I wasn’t the same, my life wasn’t the same, I didn’t want to get hurt or to accidentally hurt someone innocent. I had to remain alone.

We had ran out of chances. We simply weren’t a good team anymore. Forcing ourselves to work it out cause we didn’t have anyone else was cruel and unfair to both of us, it would only slow us down.

“You know what?” Alex steps back, his eyes colder than ever, “You’re right. I don’t have to waste my time trying to convince a coward.”

Two could play the same game, I thought as my heart stung at his words, I deserve what he’s telling me. I am scared, I am a running away. I’m a coward.

“Leave me alone,” I reply, picking up my things and walking away.

“Have a good life, Y/N.” 

You’d think that when someone means something to you for a long period of time the goodbye has to be something epic. Their last words won’t be dull and you’ll get to hug them one last time. 

It didn’t happen at all. I walked back to Glendale while he drive away and that was it. I was permanently broken, staying with him would’ve been a constant reminder of how nothing would ever work out the way I wanted. 

So I just let him go. 

------------------------------------------

“And back in Glendale where I had no one,” I exhale, now both of us laying on the floor, “I had one place to stay. I knew the jocks had taken over the school so I got in without being noticed. Mona Lisa never questioned how did I get there but since I never caused her problems she let me stay and used me as some sort of janitor.”

“And you let her treat you like that?”

“She didn’t mistreat me,” I frown, “I guess she couldn’t care less about me. There were bigger targets to fry. That’s when they started to kill kids.”

“And you decided to live on your own,” Josh states. 

“My parent’s house was still in one piece and although their bodies were there, it was easier to just drag them out than to look somewhere else to live,” I add, “it was hard at first, but once I got the hang of it I never thought about going back with the Jocks or with my old friends.”

“And why did you leave that place?” 

“It got destroyed. The mutant dog, a giant...”

“A giant pug,” He finishes at the same time.

I turn my head, staring intently.

“The pug attacked you too?” I smile.

“I had this dope mansion at the other side of town,” He replies with nostalgia, “it was great. I went back one night and found the pug in the garage. It wasn’t safe anymore, so I couldn’t stay.”

“Stupid pug,” I shake my head, “we should go out one day and hunt it.” 

“My dad showed me how to hunt, you know?” Josh mentions, “all the survival things I know...”

“Is he..?”

“Yeah. It happened before the nuke,” He turns his head to me, “the same day, just hours before the explosion.”

“Really?”

“Shitty, right?”

“Life tends to be like that,” I feel the back of his hand against mine. I fight the need to inch closer, “we learn from it, I guess”

“What could we learn from something like that?” He frowns, “that no matter what we do, people we love is always going to die?”

“They way I see it, it’s all for a reason,” I reply calmly, “if my sister hadn’t turned into a Ghoulie, right now I’d be traveling around the country with Alex and her. You and I wouldn’t have run into each other, and maybe you would’ve died after cutting your finger. That would’ve sucked, right?”

“I... guess. Yeah,” He stares at me intently, “that would have sucked.”

I feel a familiar warmth creeping up my chest and I try to push it down.

“Or maybe not,” I squeak, “maybe we’re just randomly running around like headless chickens and I’m bullshitting you just to make you feel better and-”

He pushes a strand of hair away from my face and I freeze.

“You ramble a lot,” Josh smirks, “either way, it kind of worked. I think.”

“You think?” I ask, “you’re easy to cheer up”

“Or I just really like talking to you” He jokingly offers.

“Who wouldn’t? According to you, I’m the coolest loser in town,” Josh snorts at my comeback.

“You definitely are a loser,” the boy agrees. 

Before I can help it, his hand is holding mine, he gives it a light squeeze.

“You should stop being so caring, though,” He continues, “I’m running out of ways to thank you”

“I’m curious to find out how creative you can get, to be honest,” I grin, “you’ll have to start giving me offerings”

“What, you’re naming yourself the goddess of the mall now?”

“Bitch, I might,” I straighten up, still holding his hand, “I think I would do a great job as a deity.”

“Hey, losers-” Angelica stops talking when she sees us laying on the ground, “Oh, come on. Wesley! Josh’s depression got to Y/N and now both of them are moping!”

“I’m not moping,” I counter, standing up and letting go of the boy’s hand, “we were just talking. And I was about to leave, anyway.”

“You were?” Josh asks, sitting up hastily, “Now?”

I stare at him in confusion for his outburst, until I realize he thinks I’m talking about leaving the mall for good.

“Not the mall,” I correct nervously, “I’m not leaving. I mean, at least not right now. I’m just leaving this hall.”

“Oh,” His shoulders relax, “when are you leaving the mall, then?”

“Yeah, Y/N?” Angelica smiles knowingly, “When?”

“Undecided,” I glare at the young girl, “I figured this place isn’t so bad after all and you guys need me. I’m safe. It’s better if I don’t go.”

“That’s cool!” Josh smiles, “I’ll get you a notebook...”

I laugh, starting to walk away with Angelica.

“Whatever you want, Wheeler.”

As I’m walking, I feel Angelica’s stare burning holes in me.

“What now?” I sigh, stopping in front of her.

“Nothing,” She shrugs, “I was thinking”

“You do that all the time,” I cross my arms, “Is this about your crazy idea of forming a new tribe? Cause you can forget it, I’m not staying for that long.”

“You and Josh...” She mentions innocently.

“Me and Josh, what?” I ask harshly.

“You seem to be getting along.”

“We’re the only ones in this mall that never got on our nerves, you mean,” I reply sarcastically, “don’t even try to talk me into your crazy plans.”

“I’m just saying,” She gives me her best, innocent smile, “he was in a better mood! It’s clear that you have chemistry...”

“You just found Sam’s body,” I reply in a hurried whisper, “Josh is grieving and I’m only trying to help him cope. You’re out of your mind if you think this means I’ll try to get in his pants.”

I turn around to leave, Angelica surely is frustrated cause I decided to not listen to her insinuations. Josh and I are not a thing. Simply cause I say so.

Nighttime is upon us and I’m on the second floor killing time, going left to right on my new pair of skates to loosen them up so I feel comfortable in them. I have earphones on and the music distracts me from the annoying silence that falls on this place when no one is up. Or when I think no one is up. 

Soon enough, I’m proved wrong by Josh. He walks straight into my practice and all I can do is lessen my speed before I crash against him.

“Shit!” He catches me with his injured hand and holds to the railing with the other.

We end up in this ‘prince-charming-catches-the-damsel-before-hitting-the-ground’ position that is more embarrassing than romantic. I try to stand up on my own but the wheels keep making me trip and Josh holds my waist firmly, pulling me up and helping me stay still.

Seriously? 

How many times are we gonna fall into each other’s arms like it’s a soap opera?

Josh says something but I signaled him to stop and I take my earphones off.

“Uhm, thanks for catching me. Sorry for almost killing you this time. What were you saying?”

“I said that you need to start watching where you’re going,” He snickers.

“Rude,” I scoff, “but really, you needed something?”

“Oh, I-uh...” He plays with his bandages, lost in thought. I want to stop him cause it could ruin them, "The things you told me today... I know it's hard to talk about it. I appreciate that you trust me and I... I keep thinking about this thing, and I wanted to ask you something about Alex"

“Oh,” Oh. Do I give myself away that easily? “What about him?”

“You had a thing with him, right?” Fuck. Give me a break, won’t you?

“I, uh-I mean, I never really...” I ramble, then I notice that he’s holding back a shy laugh and I just shake my head miserably, “it’s a long story”

"Well, I don’t get it,” He sits on the bench next to us and pulls me with him so I sit with him, “Why didn’t you say yes? He offered you a new life to do whatever you wanted, Why not going?”

“Cause I didn’t want a new life. I wanted the old one,” I shrug, “after the nuke I understood that no amount of freedom would ever give me the peace that being on my own could give me. It was better. That way I don’t exist for the rest of the world.”

“Sorry for ruin your plan,” He passes a hand through his hair in an anxious manner, “I didn’t know...”

“Exactly, you didn’t. So don’t apologize for something you didn’t do on purpose”

We stay silent for a second, then Josh speaks up again, this time with a shy demeanor.

“You exist for me now,” He replies in all honesty, his eyes have a strange gloom on them, “and even if you leave, you’ll exist in my head. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget about you this time. You're the girl that saved my life after all.”

That is the sweetest thing someone’s said to me in a long time and I can’t believe it had to be Josh Wheeler the one saying it. How dare he?

“I only wanted you to know that you’re not alone, so I told you my story. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable or...” I start to apologize, but he quickly interrupts me.

“It didn’t. Things didn’t go as planned but you’re right. I think they’re going to get better... eventually, I hope.”

“If you ever want to talk about your dad... you don’t have to,” I nudge him gently, “but if you ever want to talk about him or someone else, I’m here. I’m with you.”

“I know,” Josh smiles softly, “I’m with you too. And I’m glad I crashed into you in that alley,” He jokes.

I don’t know what to answer back. Am I happy or am I resentful because he dragged me into this madness? Was my life going as good as I’m trying to picture it? I honestly don’t know.

All I know is that I like being friends with Josh Wheeler and he’s glad he met me. Nothing else. No romantic feelings at all from any side. Just as it should be.

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @hollywaterpls

[tkdoodles77]

slowly slides art towards you. hey, so this is sorta the art style I was talking about using for Haunted Ties in my last post. It might not be exactly what I settle on in the end but its close to what I want to try. hopefully you like this (bribe) err.. example, I mean example. Anyways! ghost king danny is one of my favorite dp headcanons (like top 10) so I thought experimenting with my style was as good an excuse as any to draw danny as the ghost king. for anyone who can't read my chicken scratch ------- ghost king danny - "royal monkey suit" ver. #9       -don't ask about the first 8 versions (they were bad)       -only worn for ceremonial events -danny doesn't like wearing it       -though he'll admit the cloak is cool -ring and crown change to reflect current holder       -pariah dark was hot-headed       -danny's more chill, like the arctic sky -crown becomes simpler grouping of ice shards       -only giving the impression of a crown       -implies danny's more lax leadership -ring becomes more complex       -loses pariah's war symbol       -shows danny's love of space instead -the "power up" from the crown+ring causes danny's hair to resemble an icee-mist ------ now with this out of the way Im gonna go back to working on this weeks page and maybe also the scripting for the next couple pages as well.

[szopenhauer]

What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about? I won’t even have kids...

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc. 

Do you like sunglasses? it’s complicated Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? sorta, sometimes Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? what isn’t...

What is your favourite glass to drink from? prefer a mug When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? they were born in Poland where we still live What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from? 14.42 Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s? 60s  Is the computer your only current light source? window/sun too Do you think you look good with a hat on? I’m ugly no matter what so...

Do you have anyone you fully trust? not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others  When did you last talk on the phone with someone? yesterday with M.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? kinda When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? mom, this day Was the last movie you watched a horror film? noooo Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload Do you handle pain well? been told  Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though Do you enjoy your hairstyle? not really atm but it’s not the worst How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? none, ever Do you have a leather jacket? fake

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I’ve already heard everything I suppose... Do you write on your hands a lot? not anymore Do you think hugs are awkward? often Ever play Angry Birds? flappy bird only How late did you stay up last night? till mornin’ Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? mhm Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh Is there a place you’d rather live right now? on my own... Do you go out often? lately Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? my current partner, I don’t deserve her If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I’m not reading anything Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job How many scarves do you own, if any at all? uh oh :x

What is one way in which this year is different from last year? where should I start... Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? for me it is too hard Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? probably What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything  Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić Who’s death has affected you the most? my brother’s Have you ever grown sunflowers? they didn’t turn out well Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? no idea What is your doctor’s first name? which one?

Do you hate political posts on facebook? when there’s plenty, especially wrong  How many pictures do you have stored on your computer? omg  Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid? hard to tell Have you ever had a camera that took film? we had when I was still a kid Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself? disgusting Have you ever had a hot flash? common Are you ok? my heart hurts badly Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses? black If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section? absolutely If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section? I’m a woman What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”? religious person lmfao How many pullover hoodies do you own? bunch Which do you take more: videos or photos? pics What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening? my imagination is vivid What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger? for example - Ada and Adrianna What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I disagree Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out? I don’t own any

If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? on my phone, not computer What do you smell right now? luckily nothing much If you were an instrument, what would you be? smth annoying? Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color boring Does your house have a doorbell? of course Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? my classmate  If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it? mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one  What’s your most hated commercial to watch? most of them are shit What was the last thing you charged? cellphone When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth) Favorite farm animal? chicken What’s your favorite name that begins with B? I don’t like polish names starting on B letter If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk? why not Do you enjoy having time to yourself? :3 Can you do a cart wheel? still but crappy Do you like Ed Sheeran? blergh Would you rather become an author or teacher? author How many people are you currently texting? just 1 This time tomorrow, what will you be doing? hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? money Have you ever been inside a recording studio? I have not Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune? Neptune Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave? very Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident? my sister did Do you like quotes about love or life better? love is part of life What color is your garage? not applicable Do you like it when people give you compliments? they’re lying Was your hair straight today? my hair is wavy Do you ever share things on Facebook? quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM? am What color was your swim suit this year? bluish Do ladders scare you? I’m cautious

1 through 10, how would you rate your day? low Any specific reason why? how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things

Salt or pepper? salt If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see? bag Did you use swear words today? sigh... What did you buy today? food

If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose? dead or alive? Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? dog is domestic ;)

Do you think people under fourteen should have sex? hell no How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage? 20+ What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t? my interests? Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? just my teeth, fingers or eyes Do you like gore? no thx Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead? neck :P Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you? someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words Where is your biological mother at the moment? kitchen Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands? ... Do you have any annoying siblings? she indeed annoys me  How many people are in your immediate family? I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family Would you say you have good or bad luck? bad Do you like your laugh? uh... Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end? because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry What are your plans for the rest of the day? we’ll see

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? ... buttons? not zipper?... What does your last text say? it was the link to the article

Do you ever think about the past? I’m nostalgic and an overthinker Is math your favorite part of school? even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yesterday  You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?! Do you regret any of your relationships? yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda Whats the last taste in your mouth? stomach acid :(

What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc) *shrug* What was the last thing you felt disappointed by? my very own self Do you play games on your phone? nothing else but Choices Do you have music on your cellphone? spotify Name three black things that you can see? necklace, cellphone, calculator Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names? I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her  Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid? dad’s Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Marilyn Monroe forever anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped) for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<  would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing? dishes

[im-robins-bitch]

Kiss me again | c.h

masterlist

I was gonna post this tomorrow but i just hit 400 followers so thanks, that's kinda insane 💖

You feel more than you should for your best friend, maybe it’s time to admit it. 

warnings: swearing, sorta a sex scene?

word count: 9k+

“He sounds lame” Calum commented, laying back on your arm-chair with a yawn. You crossed your arms, hitting the top of his head as you walked past carrying the large pizza box. “Just saying,” He mumbled, grabbing a slice. He noticed the sweetcorn on top and scrunched his nose.

“Switch?” You questioned, holding out your plate with a matching pizza on it only with a lot less sweet-corn and a lot more tomatoes. He nodded, taking the plate with him making you grumble as he placed the slice of pizza sloppily in your hand, you could already feel the cheese sticking to your thumb. “He was just being a gentleman.” You explained, getting back to the topic at hand, your recent date. “the food was really-”

“shit.” Calum finished, making you open your mouth to protest but Calum beat you to it “You ordered pizza as soon as you got back in,”

“Fine, ok, he took me that new fancy place.” You said, although you didn’t really need to explain, the satin dress on your body was more than confirmation. “I did tell him I didn’t like places like that, but I don’t know I guess he just wanted to impress me.” You sighed.

Calum snorted, watching as you curved your pizza, shovelling it into your mouth, your hand cupped underneath to catch the rouge toppings trying to escape. “If only he could see you now.”

“Are you saying I don’t look hot as fuck covered into tomato sauce?” You joked, wiggling your red saucy digits at him. “Oh you look absolutely divine” He laughed, putting his plate back down on the table, “Some might even say you look delicious!” He moved from his position on the armchair and sat down in front of you on the floor, hooking one of your fingers with his and bringing it to his mouth to lick the sauce off.

“Ew Calum gross!” You laughed, shoving him away, making him knock back into the coffee table, the thud from his crash covering up the thudding of your cheat.

“I was just helping you clean up, and what do i get from the trouble? a concussion!” He said dramatically rubbing his hand against his head, which didn’t even hit the table.

“God, you are such a drama queen!” You groaned, trying to hide the smile on your face by stuffing it with more pizza.

“Are you going on another date?” Calum asked, his voice taut as he leaned forward, pulling his legs up to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Hmm?” You stuttered between bites, moving your hand to cover your mouth. “Oh you mean with-h-” You stopped, choking on a bit of chicken, “w-with William?”

“William, god even his name is pretentious,” Calum huffed under his breath, settling his head on his hands.

“Yeah I think so, he asked me, I hope its more...fun next time.” You pulled Calums plate your direction, putting down the pizza crust that you knew Calum was going to eat whether you offered it to him or not. “What about you? Didn’t you have a date with-”

“Oh yeah...” Calum said, feebly reaching to scratch the back of his head. “I broke up with her...”

“What?” You stuttered, “Why didn’t you tell me? you’re supposed to tell me these things before they happen! Those are the best friend privileges!” You rambled, “God I don’t even think I have any ice cream left.”

“It's ok,” Calum laughed, “It’s not really a big deal, she was more of a distraction really.” You raised your eyebrows, encouraging him to keep going. “Well, I was sorta...am sorta in love with this girl.”

Your eyes snapped wide, your heart both beating out of its chest and ripping apart at the same time. Never in your life did you expect Calum to tell you he was in love with someone and the fact that he felt that way made your heart leap with joy, your best friend was in love. Though you felt a sting, as if you had just been stung by a scorpion, because there you sat in love with you’re best friend always hoping maybe he felt the same, but now it was clear that was only a fantasy. 

 A few seconds past without you saying anything and you noticed Calum was growing anxious, you realised you had to say something “BEST FRIEND PRIVILEGES!” You yelled, sliding off the sofa to sit down on the floor with him making Calum giggle and move to sit with his legs crisscrossed, mirroring you.

“Yeah, I wanted to tell you sooner but...” He gazed down at his lap,

“So are you not going to tell the girl how you feel?” You questioned, biting down hard on your lip trying to prepare yourself for the reply.

“I-I want to I really really want to but I just can’t.” He reached his hands out for yours and you gladly gave them to him, watching as his fingers traced circles into your palm. “She doesn't feel that way about me”

“How do you know?”

“Huh...” He hummed focusing his attention on following the ridges of your palm with his pointer finger.

“How do you know she doesn't like you,” You asked again, trying to catch his eye. “No offence cal but you’re not that great at picking up when people are into each other.” He opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by you instead, “Do you remember when you thought-”

“that you were in love with Mikey because you were giving him ‘the eyes’“ He mocked. “You flirt with everyone all the time, you’re difficult to read.”

“Yeah well I’m assuming if she caught your attention she’d not such an easy catch” You joked, closing your hand around his giving it a squeeze “Trust me cal, if she isn’t into you now its because she probably didn’t even think you were an option, as soon as you confess your gonna be all she thinks about.”

“Do you think so?” He said quietly, hating to admit he needed this much comforting over something as stupid as love.

“I know so” You confirmed, giving his hand a warm squeeze.

Calum squeezed it back, looking at your hands thoughtfully. He let out a big breath “Actually, Y/N, the thing is-”

“AH, one second,” You said, pulling yourself up from the floor with a groan, to pick up the house phone. “Hello?” You mumbled into the cream block, you’re phone looked like it had come from the 80′s and it was very unusual for people to be calling it. “William,” You greeted with glee, turning to Calum to give him a soft smile and a wink, “hmm, oh no I’m fine my phone’s just on silent...”

You continued to chat to William on the phone, trying to steer the conversation towards hanging up as you looked at Calum regretfully, but you didn’t want to seem rude considering you had only been on one date, was in rude to invite someone over for pizza as soon as you finished a date? You didn’t think so, but you didn’t want to give William the wrong idea, especially now that it looked like Calum was definitely not an option anymore, as much as your heart wished he was.

After 5 minutes you finally managed to say your goodbyes and jumped back down onto the plush carpet with Calum. “Can you believe that he looked through the entire phone book just to find me so he could wish me goodnight, I told you he was sweet” You giggled. “Oh, you wanted to tell me something?” You questioned, cocking your head to the side, trying to ignore the how plush Calums lips looked as he pulled on it with his teeth.

“Uhm, yeah...I wanted to tell you I....I need help with packing? Can you help me?”

“You haven't packed yet?” You questioned, staring in disbelief when he nodded his head “you're leaving in like two days?”

“Some of us don’t start packing a week before there holidays,” Calum joked, laughing half-heartedly as he picked at the fibres of your carpet.

“I think going on tour requires a bit more planning than a trip to Florida “ You laughed. 

For the first time in a long time, an uncomfortable silence fell over the two of you. You squirmed on the floor, leaning back against the sofa trying to picture the girl that managed to make your best friend fall for her. 

A couple of weeks later you lay in a cush four-poster bed staring up at the ceiling noticing the brush marks from when it had been painted. You felt something drip down onto your shoulder and you’re eyes focused again on William who was floundering on top of you. Sweat was dripping from his every-pore, although you didn’t understand how because he wasn’t doing much. 

His hands lay either side of you like a cage you couldn’t escape from. His body thrust into yours and your eyes furrowed. He looked down at you, his face was so concentrated, you tried to smile up at him but from the way he looked away and picked up his pace it was clear it looked like more of a grimace.  

Your mind trailed to Calum, walking in on all the girls he’d fucked on your couch just because Ash couldn’t stand the noise anymore. Even when you went upstairs you could hear the sounds they would make, his name slipping from their lips like a mantra. 

Fuck, it’s not like you hated missionary all the time, but this was really like torture, the worst part was you just didn’t want to have to ruin your first time together by telling him he was just rubbing his cock in between your thighs, you wondered if he even knew what a vagina was, or if he had even watched any porn..  

You rolled your eyes to the back of your head, trying to picture yourself somewhere far away. You’d tell him next time, but for now you just sat in bed wondering how no one else had mentioned this to him and cursed that the responsibility laid on your shoulders. 

You sat on your porcelain throne wrapped up in your fluffy towel watching as steam raised from your skin. You didn’t particularly feel like getting up and drying yourself off, the hot water draining you of energy. Instead, you scrolled through your phone waiting for the air you dry you off a bit more. Only a couple of seconds and you already saw three posts of the same photo of Calum coming out of a bar in Paris walking next to (probably not even with) a tall beautiful brunette. Usually, you wouldn’t give these photos a second thought, but now they just made you wonder about his mystery girl, he hadn’t had much time to text you while he was off and you hadn’t wanted to bring up the girl he was in love with again, not sure you could deal with too much disappointment at once. 

You leaned back against the toilet seat, your thumb flicking the screen up and down just seeing the two photos again and again. It was dumb, really dumb to be thinking of your best friend this way, for the longest time you were just happy with this, the two of you were insanely close and knowing that he hadn't been interested in love always gave you this weird sense of security, that you could take your time, that nothing was going to get in between the two of you. 

He’d always called you his favourite girl (apart from his mother and sister) you had always corrected and he would nod with a smile “apart from them. Your eyes started to water, realising that soon enough maybe that wouldn’t be the case. He would have a new favourite. 

You scrolled up, deciding not to torture yourself any longer, refreshing the page you were filled with relief when that photo was replaced by an advertisement for plane tickets for Paris. 

For Paris. 

Your fingers were working before you even knew what you were doing, your mind didn’t even register the very high price-tag as you dropped your towel running around your flat to find your card, spotting it laying on your coffee table, spilling out of your purse. You clutched it in your hands, typing in each digit with a shaking hand, cursing that phone wasn't going fast enough. 

When you had managed to get the detail correct (it took 3 times because of your shaking hands and pruney fingers) You flopped onto the sofa with a sigh, staring at the screen. 

You’re going to Paris!

YOU WERE GOING TO PARIS. You had no idea what you were doing when you ran to your wardrobe, throwing clothes into an oversized backpack. When you drove down to William’s and knocked on his door until he came out, leaving him with a fleeting sorry and “it's not you, it's me”. 

You’re brain wasn’t even working when you went to the airport, needing to ask for help every second of the way, your brain to frazzled to even understand what each person was saying.

You spent the whole flight pushing the nerves out of your mind, pushing out every thought in your mind. Your legs were bouncing and you just wanted to sleep until you arrived but you didn’t want unwanted dreams slowing down whatever the fuck it was that was motivating you to do this. 

You clutched your fist, in your hand and stared out the window listening to mindless music to escape your mind.

The plane landed and you called Calum, but you were immediately sent to voicemail, you tried everyone but only got voicemail or no answer at all. You gave up, instead looking at twitter, they had a concert somewhere and you were going to go and find it. 

“Yoyo!” You mumbled after spending a good portion of time standing on the pavement, tourist threading through you as you scrolled through the 5 seconds of summer hashtag. You tracked down a taxi and asked them to drive you there. The drive felt like it was lasting a life-time, the taxi drivers small talk about what brought you to the city and love was to much for your brain to comprehend at that moment, once he got to the venue you dashed throwing money at him before you dashed out the car. You could hear the faint sound of fans screaming and the hum of music, not quite able to make out whether or not it was who you were hoping for. 

You looked for some kind of back door, a fire exit, even a window but couldn’t find anything. Your heart was plummeting every second, what the hell were you doing. You were in the middle of France, no idea where you were, you had just given most of your money to a taxi driver and had no way to get to Calum at all. Then you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket, pulling it out you saw Ashton and answered it as fast as you could.

“ASHTON YOU ARE MY SAVIOUR!” You sang through the phone. 

“Y/N whats wrong? are you ok? you’ve called so many times is something wrong? we’re in France we cant help remember” Ashton’s voice was filled with nerves, and you could hear the hustle and bustle behind him. 

“Yeah, so am i!” You exclaimed, “It’s a really long story but i’m here like outside so please come let me in, I really need to talk to Calum.” 

“have you hit your head? Y/n do you need some kind of ambulance?” 

You sighed, you really didn’t have time for this, and every second you stayed on the phone another inch of doubt crept into your mind. “Yeah I really do need an ambulance, because I’ve gone insane, insane on love so please Ashton let me in because Calum is the cure!” You blurted. getting antsier by the second. 

“Huh..are you about too.”

“Tell Calum I’m in love with him, yeah! So if you could let me in before i change my mind” You needed to keep talking, to keep moving, every time you stopped to think the only thing you felt was your brain telling you how bad of an idea this was. 

“No stay there ok, someones on their way. I’ve got to go, only came to pee” No sooner than Ashton hung up did a large man in a black shirt open a door, you had been certain was welded shut moments ago. 

You were ushered down cream corridors, it felt like they stretched on forever, you could hear the echo of the crowd and the music, your heart racing whenever you heard Calums voice “Sorry guys when you gotta go-” You heard Ashton say slightly muffled through the walls. The wind was knocked out of you, how long were they going to be on stage for, you didn’t know how much longer you could keep up this act. “You’re going to need to wait here.” The man said, finally leading you to a small dressing room. 

You sighed, plopping yourself on one of the wooden stools as the man left and closed the door. The room was covered in posters for events that were going on, some brand new and some so old they were peeling at the sides. Your eyes flicked to the brand new poster of 5 seconds of summer, your fingers trailing over the photo of Calum. 

Were you really about to do this, did you really fly all the way to France just to get rejected? You knew Calum, he wouldn’t stop talking to you because of this, but he sure as hell wouldn’t talk to you as much as he did now. 

Then he came in, sweat dripping from his chest, his tattoos peeking out of his black wife-beater, his face squished in a smile clearly excited but exhausted from his performance. He was looking at the boys behind him, laughing at something luke said, furrowing his brows in confusion when they stopped walking and slammed the door shut locking him in the small room.

He was about to spin around, thinking this was some dumb prank again when he spotted you, a smile instantly appearing his face, his eyes filled with disbelief. “Y/N? Is that actually you or did i fall asleep during the set?” 

You walked towards him, grabbing his hands in yours, twisting at the rings that adorned each finger. You took a deep breath, before looking into his twinkling eyes. 

“I love you, no. I’m completely enamoured by you Calum Thomas Hood and I flew all the way to fucking France just to tell you and even if you’re about to reject me please can you just wait for a second and kiss me first”

Your grip on his hands grew tighter, squeezing down hard enough to turn them white. His eyes scanned your face looking for any sign of doubt or joke. Your eyes began to water, your sudden surge of courage suddenly wearing off. “or you could just...reject me if you want” You mumbled meekly. 

Calums hands wiggled out of your grip and you moved away, bracing yourself when he pinched himself, “ouch” he exclaimed, before doing it again, looking to you and back at his sore arm again.  “I really must be awake.” he panted breathily

Tears began to roll down your cheeks, but his hands quickly cupped your cheeks and rubbed them away. “I love you too.” He confessed, bringing your face to his in a soft kiss. 

His lips brushed against your cupids-bow before they met yours more firmly. His hands moved to your jaw squeezing slightly as you moved your lips in sync with his. You could taste the salt from both of your tears, dripping down your faces with relief and happiness. “I love you,” You mumbled against his lips.

“I love you .” He whispered, his breath panting against yours. 

“I love you,” You said, nudging his nose with yours.

“I- hey wait.” He pouted, pulling his face back. “best friend privileges! You’re supposed to tell me when you’re in love with someone.” Calum said, his hand falling from your jaw to your neck giving it a soft squeeze

“fuck best friend privileges, I want girlfriend privileges.” 

“Yeah...like what?” He inquired with a teasing smirk. 

“Kiss me again” 

So he did.

[allyreactions]

EXO : Dating Baekhyun

~ A/N : I haven’t written in a while, but I’m super inspired. This has been in our inbox for forever and I really wanted to write some EXO stuff. While I was writing this, I was listening to Jenna and Julien’s new podcast (btw listening to podcasts while you write is a great writers tip - I’ll give y’all some more if you want). aNYWAY, I’ll shut up, enjoy!!!!

p.s : If any of y’all want to learn Korean, pop on over to @kpoppwriter, she’s been posting lessons on her blog and I’m so proud of her. SO GO FOLLOW MAX

- Masterlist

genre : fluff / smut / angst

word count : 1126

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how you meet : 

officially the softest boyfriend

baekhyun is such a loving, soft boi 

I can just imagine that you two meet in a cafe 

he accidentally bumps into you on his way out

he saw you spilled coffee on yourself and the floor

and (being the sweetheart the he is) baekhyun rushed to grab some napkins to help you wipe it up 

you said “thank you” for helping you clean up and he apologizes and offers to buy you another coffee to make up for it 

you two end up talking for an hour and he asks for your number because he enjoyed your company so much 

first date : 

weeks later you guys end up dating

as a first date baekhyun would plan something special

I feel like he’s the type to take you to an amusement park / a city fair 

he’ll buy you whatever deep fried foods you want and make sure to ‘super size’ it so the both of you can share 

also, just imagine how cute it would be if y’all share a milkshake 

my lactose intolerant ass is emotional

the both of you would have tons of tickets to play fair games and ride the crazy rides 

he’ll for sure want to go to one of those stands and play a game and try to win you the biggest teddy bear he can 

but let’s be real, he doesn’t win the game

lucky for you guys though, the guy at the stand gives you guys a freebie because baekhyun almost used up all his tickets trying to win it for you 

I feel like he’s a bit of a puppy when y’all are out though 

like he just wants to go on every ride and play every game and eat every food 

there’s just so much to do and he wants to do all of them with you 

before you know it, it’s sundown and baek leads the both of you to the ferris wheel 

 and of course it’s cheesy, but that’s where he kisses you

at the top of the ferris wheel, with the beautiful colors of the sunset in the background 

before y’all head home, of course he’s gonna buy you one last ice cream cone 

ooooh and he’s gonna carry all of the toys he ‘won’ 

living together / being a real couple : 

baek is a bit of a handful sometimes

he’ll leave his clothes around his room and he’ll wait weeks before he does his laundry 

he’s a bit of a mess in the kitchen, which is why you handle most of the work when you guys cook together 

he’s also super clingy at home too 

takes super long showers and uses up all the hot water, not to mention the fact that he sings so loudly in the bathroom as well 

but that doesn’t mean there aren’t good things about living with him 

he always gives the best fashion advice, he’ll help you pick out an adorable outfit 

even though his clinginess can be too much at times, you always have someone to cuddle with 

you’re never on the couch alone 

movie nights / drama binges are a thing 

since he’s pretty devoted to his work, he understands when you need your space to do yours 

even though he’s a mess in the kitchen, he’s always surprising you with little baked goods / snacks he’s whipped up 

constantly gives compliments to you, saying how beautiful / handsome you are 

he can be pretty playful and silly around the house

baekhyun love joking and messing around, he’s always there to brighten your mood

that stupid bright smile is constantly on show whenever you’re in the room with him

whenever you’re on your period, he’s there to give you all the snuggles and ice cream your heart desires

the best listener

baekhyun is the first person you go to to rant and complain about your tiring day 

and he loves that he can do the same with you 

I don’t think he’s the type to have deep conversations with every night, but he’ll have one with you every now and again 

mostly if he notices you’re feeling down or just to talk about how he’s feeling 

emotionally, physically, and mentally 

mainly he just loves the fact that he can trust you with everything

he gets the biggest smile on his face when you visit him in the practice rooms / the studio 

every tuesday, the members stop by for chicken and beer 

y’all have a blast 

baek loves the fact that you get along with them so well 

sleeping with baekhyun is the best part about your relationship 

he’ll hum in your ear sweet lullabies and twirl the hair behind your ears until you’re fast asleep 

he also enjoys when you do the same to him 

so y’all switch off every few nights 

arguments : 

so baekhyun hates fighting 

but he’s a taurus, and those bitches are stubborn af 

so even though he hates confrontation, he thinks he’s right 90% of the time (when that’s not the case) 

I feel like with the petty arguments (like forgetting a birthday or showing up late for a date), you guys are able to sort things out pretty quickly 

but with bigger arguments (your relationship becoming public or lying that he hasn’t met someone he loves), they would take longer to sort out 

he would probably lock himself in the bedroom or seperate himself, just so he can cool off 

he doesn’t want to say anything that he would regret / would hurt you

sexy time : 

I’ve said before that baekhyun is a switch 

here’s a link where I sorta ‘judge’ what kinks he has 

usually when he doms, he’s pretty merciless 

daddy / sir kink too 

just like how he is normally, he’s pretty playful in bed, so expect lots of teasing

with that come orgasm denial and over stimulation

loves when you wear lingerie 

will actually shop for some with you, but he also likes when you shop alone so he can be surprised with what you pick out 

strip teases are also a personal favorite, loves sitting back and watching the show 

not super into giving commands

when he subs, he’s got a ‘babyboy’ kink

as well as a ‘mommy’ kink if he in a relationship with a girl 

loves being overstimulated as well, preferably through deepthroating 

he’s also a fan of being spanked and receiving scratch marks on his back 

he loves marking in general (giving and receiving) 

he’s a pretty equal lover of rough sex and passionate sex though 

passionate sex with him is an experience 

he pays attention to every sweet spot of yours 

he knows your body like the back of his hand 

baekhyun is big into giving pleasure not only to himself, but to you as well 

so he won’t stop until the both of your are writhing and moaning with bliss 

you’ll know you had a great night, because the next morning you won’t be able to walk