#this is a joke i still dont wanna get pregnant

[tadpoledyke]

When you see your girlfriend's baby pictures and now one of you has to grow a dick and balls because oh my god... Oh my god... Baby

[peterparkersnose]

Lovers and Love.

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: pregnancy (if you don't like don't read), descriptions of morning sickness, anxiety, angst, illusions to sex

a/n back to your regularly scheduled program i dont wanna hear it i don’t write pregnancy stories often (i say this with a modern day au pregnancy joel fic in my drafts). literally my third in a year (back during my wattpad days I would solely write pregnancy stories. ew). i really like how this turned out though, the length is good

summary Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out

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read time: 8 mins 47 seconds

“What’s filling that pretty head of yours lately?” Joel asked between each chop of the wood.

“Oh, nothing.” you lied.

“You looked mighty focused on that rock just a minute ago.”

“Better than looking at you chopping wood,” you scoffed sarcastically, getting Joel’s scent off your trail.

What you were really thinking about? The last time you got your period.

Each swing of the axe made you cringe. You begged to think of something different, but the thought had filled your mind for the past few days when your expected period didn’t arrive.

You and Ellie had swept out an old convenience store about a month ago. Ellie found some period products and gave some to you and it made you think.

When was the last time you got your period?

Ever since you were a child you dreamed of being a mother. Raising a family with someone you loved. But when the world fell to cordyceps, that idea was quickly left in the past with every other hope and dream you ever had.

This was no environment for an adult, let alone a child. A baby was an absolute no. The constant crying would attract any creature in a mile radius. It wouldn’t get the proper nutrition babies needed to grow. And giving birth in this world was a borderline death sentence.

And your baby’s daddy? The man you had been hooking up with on the low.

He was meant to move the cargo. You assisted the cargo and made sure it behaved.

It wasn’t your fault when Ellie was captured by David and you and Joel had to hide out in a shed one night alone.

Or maybe that time Ellie went out hunting.

Or the time Joel had to cover your mouth and tell you to shut up because she was asleep in the next room.

You knew Ellie wasn’t a dumb kid, but you were just praying she wasn’t that smart.

But pregnancy tests were nonexistent. Most of them you assumed would be expired. Can pregnancy tests even expire? And condoms, come on. It would honestly be funny if Joel pulled one out as a joke. There was no way any of those were still in use at least five years after the breakout.

“Y/N!” Joel yelled, catching your attention. The volume of his voice caught you off guard. “What’s wrong with you, seriously?” he scoffed, flipping his axe in his hand.

Brushing him off, you helped him carry wood into the small abandoned cabin you had found for the night.

Ellie was sitting on the matted couch with her leg resting on top of the coffee table in what was left of the living room. If you squinted, it looked almost normal. No clickers, no cannibals, just a normal world, a normal Ellie sitting in a normal house.

You needed to quickly get the idea of a normal world out of your head. It wasn’t here anymore. You couldn’t hope and dream like you used to. It wasn’t the time for fantasy land anymore. This was serious shit.

“Thank god, I am fucking freezing!” Ellie announced, rubbing her hands together.

Joel dropped his few planks of wood on the ground. “I’m gonna go look for some blankets and supplies upstairs. Ellie, help Y/N with the fire.”

Ellie groaned and slammed her feet on the floor one by one from the coffee table dramatically. You could already imagine the eye roll she had just given him.

You began arranging the logs into a nice stack. Joel had cut enough to easily last you through the night and maybe into the morning.

“You doin’ okay?” Ellie asked, searching through her backpack for the matches. “Mhm,” you lied, watching her scratch the match and throw it in the dry fireplace.

“Joel said something about-” “It doesn’t matter what Joel said.” you cut her off. Ellie rested back on her legs. She was very obviously disappointed you wouldn’t tell her what was wrong.

Was it really that obvious?

“What did I say now?” Joel asked from the banister. He was carrying blankets in his hands he found in the bedrooms. He had a big smile plastered on his face that only widened when your eyes met his.

Just imagine how he would be. Carrying down blankets for you and your child to make a fort together. Making popcorn and watching a movie as the sky became dark. The child would fall asleep in your arms and the two of you would stare at each other and appreciate the world, the life you made together.

You broke eye contact with him and shook your head.

How could you let yourself think like that?

“That I was the best clicker killer in the group.” Ellie made up, lightening the mood. “Oh really now?” Joel chuckled, throwing all of the sheets down on Ellie.

“Oh thank god, warmth.” she sighed, wrapping herself in as many blankets as she could hold.

You snatched a blanket from Ellie with a smirk and moved in front of the fire. You saw the sun setting from one of the still intact windows. Joel made the bold move of laying directly next to you. Normally you would have been so touched by this little bit of public affection (even though the definition of public, for now, was just Ellie), but you were so exhausted by your mind games from the day that you couldn’t care less.

Ellie curled up next to you. She moved into your chest, wrapping her arms around one of yours. Poor Joel, Ellie got all your affection tonight after all.

After a few minutes, she was asleep.

“You wanna meet upstairs in a bit? Tell her your takin’ a piss or something.” Joel whispered in your ear. His wide hand touched your back, making you tense. He was craving your touch you could tell. It had been a few weeks since your last hookup. “No. Not tonight,” you whispered back, pulling Ellie closer.

“Hey,” he said in a low tone. You turned your head to look at him. “What’s really goin’ on?”

“Nothing,” you lied. “I know when your lying.” he sighed. “Joel, drop it.” you hissed.

Ellie’s head looked up at yours. You felt the movement and immediately reacted.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. Go back to sleep now,” you said sweetly to her, brushing her hair to the side of her face. You could tell Joel noticed how you called her baby girl. That’s what he called her.

“What’s happening?” she asked groggily. “Nothing important. Now back to sleep. We need our energy for tomorrow.” You gave her a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.

Ellie nodded and resumed back to her sleeping spot in your arms.

Joel now sat against the couch, watching the two of you interact.

After a moment of silence to make sure Ellie was asleep again, he spoke.

“You would make a great mother one day.”

Your head whipped around and the look on your face said it all.

“With Ellie ‘n stuff. Sorry,” Joel muttered, rubbing his hands down the front of his jeans nervously. The man never usually let his guard down and say vulnerable things like that and you could tell he was disappointed by your reaction.

“Good night Joel,” you said sincerely. He was right. Ellie was like a little sister to you.

On the brink of sleep, you heard him throw another log on the fire. Blankets shuffled and there was a defining silence. Then the thought hit you.

There was no way he knew, right?

-

The faces matched so perfectly but yet were so different. Joel stood in a kitchen, the kitchen in the house you grew up in. You followed the scent of some sort of food and wandered into the kitchen. Your balance seemed off to you. Looking down, you were met by a large bump. No toes could be seen.

“Mama!” you heard. Your head whipped around to the kitchen table. It was the same oak as you remembered it. A baby sat in a high chair. It had curly (your color hair) and Joel’s eyes. It scared you how fast you recognized his features. Unremarkably, they were copied onto the baby's face. “Come on now, eat your breakfast,” Ellie said, encouraging the child. She appeared next to them with a spoon in her hand, making airplane noises as the child laughed.

“Ellie! Did you finish your homework?” Joel asked her. The oh-so-familiar groan escaped from her lips.

“Yes… maybe…” she began to say as the dream began to fade.

You shot upright, breathing heavily. Then the feeling arose from your stomach.

“Y/N?” Joel asked, shielding his face from the sun rays displaying over his eyes. He watched you run to the kitchen that was left of the living room.

The kitchen sink was the victim of your vomit.

Joel quickly stood up and went to your side. His hand returned to its spot from the previous night.

“It’s okay,” he said. You could tell he was trying to calm you, but it also sounded like he was trying to calm himself.

Tears began to roll down your cheeks as the vomiting came to an end.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, wiping your mouth on your sleeve. “No, no. Stop, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Joel… please,” you stuttered. You embraced him. His surprisingly warm figure held yours tightly. “It’s okay,” he said again.

“You want to try to go back to sleep?” he asked you. Hesitantly, you shook your head yes.

Thank god Ellie was a deep sleeper when she had been asleep for a while. You could just imagine her putting the puzzle pieces together and announcing it without a second thought. She is a smart girl.

Joel held you on the wood floor. The two of you didn’t care if Ellie woke up to find your embrace. Sleep didn’t return to you, but a sense of peace did. You forgot about the world, the pregnancy, the cold, and the anger for just a moment. It was just you and Joel. The way it should be.

-

“Good morning Mom and Dad,” Ellie said, poking her foot into your shoulder.

Your eyes fluttered open from their relaxed state. “Go find some breakfast and shut it.” you hissed at her. Joel adjusted his hold on you, sighing in your ear.

“Some kid, huh?” he whispered.

“Tell me about-”

“Eugh! What the hell happened here?” Ellie yelled from the kitchen.

“I got food poisoning. Leave it,” you yelled to the kitchen, coming up with your best lie.

“Before we leave you should look upstairs. I thought I saw some clothes you might like. Warmer for the winter too,” Joel grunted, sitting up straight and stretching his arms behind his back.

Using the coffee table to help you up, you trotted across the cold floor and made your way upstairs.

The first bedroom was empty. The second had a few long sleeve tee shirts and a pair of jeans that would fit you. At least for now. You picked up a sweatshirt for Ellie and a book she might like.

The third bedroom seemed to be a children’s room. You were going to look for something smaller for Ellie, but when you opened the first drawer you were met with rows of baby clothes.

Your hands ran over the patterns on the onesies. A baby girl had lived here. Your heart ached as you tried not to think about what her fate had possibly been.

You opened another drawer and it was filled with baby shoes. The memories of swooning over the baby shoes at the store when you were younger filled your mind. The memory of little Y/N mentally picking out which shoes her baby would wear one day warmed your heart.

Opening the top drawer again, you looked through the clothes. You let yourself choose four, one for each season. Easy enough to keep hidden in your backpack. You were too busy looking at the clothes to notice Joel leaning against the doorframe.

You only noticed him when you turned to put the clothes into your backpack.

Audibly gasping, you dropped your bag on the ground along with the onesies.

“I… I-”

“Don’t,” Joel sighed. He bent down and grabbed your bag along with the baby clothes.

“You really thought I didn’t know?” he chuckled, slowly opening the zipper to your backpack.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, face burning red. It’s all you could manage to say. Your brain felt numb.

“No, Y/N. It takes two, remember?” he smiled, holding up a onesie in front of him.

“Been a while since I’ve done this,” he chuckled, beginning to fold the clothes. You stared at him astonished.

He was taking this news surprisingly well. You expected him to leave you somewhere, or even worse. The fact that he was smiling and folding clothes for a baby in this world was shocking.

“How did you know?” you asked him. He gave you the side eye and smirked. “I know your body like the back of my hand. I just have to close my eyes and…”

Joel closed his eyes and the stupidest grin grew on his face.

“Stop it!” you blushed, giving him a playful slap on the arm. “I notice things, darling,” he said, assuring you everything was right.

“How long have you known?” you asked him. You nervously dragged your finger across the dresser’s carved pattern. “Week maybe. Figured it was either that or you were hidin’ a bite. I prayed you were pregnant instead of bitten.”

“You also were avoiding me as much as you could,”

You looked at your shoes. “I really just didn’t want to think about… you. This.” you admitted.

“I’m not mad, sweetheart. Pick a few more, I have room in my bag.”

You opened the drawer again and went for your second pics.

“Your not mad?” you asked him. “I’m not thrilled. When I figured it out it wasn’t fun. But now…”

“What about now?” you asked him. Joel sighed.

“If I heard right…” he began.

“My shithead little brother has started a settlement up in Jackson.”

“Tommy?” you asked, folding a pair of baby shorts. “Get ‘sum them shoes too,” Joel muttered, pulling at the handle of the drawer.

“Jackson’s about a few day ride from here. I can't guarantee he’ll be happy to see me but it’s our best hope.” he assured you, placing his hand back on your back. This time you accepted his touch and pushed back on it.

You both agreed that would be the next step in your journey.

“Any name suggestions?” he asked you, handing you back your backpack.

“Jesus Joel, I haven’t even thought about that.” you said, swinging it on your back.

“What about Ellie Junior?” you heard her ask from the hall.

You and Joel made quick eye contact and then looked back at Ellie. Your mouth fell slightly open. The fear expressed over your face, you were basically a deer in headlights.

She walked into the bedroom with a shameful look on her face. “I wasn’t trying to listen I promise. This house seems to echo.”

The t

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy @milly-louise  @undeniableadrenaline @evyiione @qualitypudding @jmillerswife @mxtokko ​

[blondieeu]

miss u. satoru g.

satoru who leaves his clothes around the house like he was just dragged out or something.

satoru who leaves the tv on when he falls asleep in the living room.

satoru who gets mad at you when he washes the dishes and you leave a fork in the sink without washing it

"cmon i just washed that!"

satoru who will go to sleep mad at you.

"i dont wanna talk to you."

satoru who even if hes mad at you he still doesnt turn his back towards you when sleeping and gets mad at you if you do.

satoru who actually is the one who goes out and buys all the groceries.

"the orange peppers or the yellow ones?"

satoru who will fight for a kiss goodbye and if he doesnt get it he will riot.

satoru who still buys you flowers, opens your car door and opens and holds any door for you.

satoru who uses a million emojis when he texts you.

toru!

miss u ):

toru!

in car omw 😆🥳🥳

satoru who comes behind you when your cooking and sings some song with his hands on your belly.

satoru who really wants you to get pregnant and doesnt care how young ya'll are

"let's start our own little family pretty"

"cmon just look at that family over there!"

"our baby would be so pretty"

satoru who always "accidentally" slips the condom off

"shit sorry babe, didnt know!"

satoru whos over the moon once he finally gets you with a bun in the oven

satoru who makes sure to lay you down and worship you everyday while youre pregnant. (eat you out)

satoru who listens to asmr before bed and falls asleep with the video super loud with no headphones.

satoru whos that proud dad everywhere he goes with you.

"yea thats all me" and he points to your stomach and spins you around so he can showcase your ass

satoru who looks for you even in the biggest crowds of people.

satoru who ties your shoes every day when youre pregnant

satoru who is kinda surprised when everyone he works with doesnt know he has a girlfriend until yuuji makes a joke on how satoru would be single forever

"gojo if you keep that up you'll be single lonely and childless for the rest of your life"

"what? my girl has a bun in the oven like right now, shes almost 9 months. shes getting pretty big!"

"?!?"

satoru who cant stand being away from you for more than 3 days.

"when are you coming home?? . . . thats ridiculous just let me come with you. . . . so what if i have to miss a few days? wanna make sure theyre treating my girl well."

satoru who likes his chest and stomach kissed on, gets him all hot.

satoru who goes all big for every single holiday and invites everyone to christmas at his house and also to meet you.

"your girlfriends pretty hot gojo"

"wow! i thought you were kidding gojo she really is big!"

"excuse me yuuji??"

"i am only 8 months! (,:"

"girl or boy?"

"shes a girl"

"congratulations!"

satoru who loves you.

sorry the text isnt pink guys technical difficulties ):

blondieeu xx

[choccy-milky]

Their kids are so cute omg i'm gonna dir of adorableness

lewis: then die LMFAOO NO BUT FRR THANK UU IM GLAD U THINK SO🥹🥹💖💖💖all the love for them (esp lewis) gave me the idea to draw him deflecting all the attention so ty for giving me the excuse to post it....we luv our aloof distant boi🥰

its funny bc i was JUST talking about this recently, but i dont like pet names at all BAHAH, hence why seb and clora dont call each other anything, not even nicknames.... seb calls her the light/princess/a bird sometimes as playful and teasing jokes, but doesnt actually address her like that. and clora always calls sebastian by his full name as well, bc i was basing her dialogue/my writing off the game dialogue...bc for as close as anne and ominis are to seb, both of THEM call him sebastian in full, so maybe it was a victorian thing that nicknames werent really common? plus clora's so proper that it just feels like its in her personality to always call seb "sebastian"... i feel like if she ever DID call him "seb" he'd do a double take and be like ...HUH? who are you???......are you polyjuiced? LMAO. i do imagine seb calling clora "love" when they get older tho (not in hogwarts) bc i like how simple it is, and imagining him saying stuff like 'careful, love' makes me🫠🫠🫠🫠

aw TYY💖💖 honestly i didnt give the victorian setting TOO much thought, other than making clora more modest/not used to wearing trousers etc. like the actual victorian courting process was that youd ALWAYS be chaperoned by at least 1 other person and you wouldnt be able to kiss or anything, so the fact that our mcs are in a co-ed school with free reign already ruins that, so i wouldnt worry too much about it. a lot of it you can just wave off with the excuse that wizard society is more advanced than muggle society, which is true anyway LOL. i just kept the parts that i thought were fun/made it feel victorian ENOUGH but got rid of the stuff that was too annoying (one big example being the amount of clothing they wear....i said it in the notes for one of my chapters, but i wasnt about to make seb go through like 5 different layers just to touch cloras titty LMFAO) and no i didnt have 1 specific website i used, id just google "blank in victorian times" and look through all the articles and resources i could on that subject, and take little bits of it. SO YEA i wouldnt worry about it too much, just take what you want if you think it could enrich your story, and leave stuff out if its annoying to deal with BHAHA. and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING!!💖💖

BAHAHA yeah sebs bark was defs bigger than his bite when it came to actually having kids/getting clora pregnant LOL. he defs loves the pregnancy part, but i feel like seeing her go through the actual labour was super hard on him/made him feel guilty bc he hates to see her in pain, let alone bc of HIM. not to mention that i imagine he would still work even once they have kids, so to leave clora with like 6 kids by herself isnt something he would have wanted to do LOL. once both lewis and celeste are in hogwarts tho i actually imagine seb and clora still doing curse breaking as well (albeit less dangerous jobs/not as far away) BUT YES having a third kid that looks like seb and is sassy like anne would be SO CUTEEE...a happy accident is a good idea too, tho i kinda like the idea of it being cloras idea.....like, she gets baby fever again now that the kids are kinda growing up and sebs like no i dont wanna put u through that again... but obvs seb wouldnt be able to resist if clora was begging seb to put a baby in her LMFAOOO its already as good as done at that point😇😇 AND THANK YOU, and im glad you liked it!!!🥹💖💖💖

@the-kcm-muggleborn AWWW ur right thats so pretty.....ty for showing me!!🥹and im glad it make you think of clora...SHE WOULD APPROVE OF THESE STUDIES👌⭐🌙

[hannibalzero]

Loving Arthur

Charthur dabble

🦌🦬🦌🦬

Arthur was capable, Charles didn't have to worry much about his safety.

……most of the time.

Especially now that the gang has settled a bit, Hosea’s snake oil turned out to be very good whiskey.

True Dutch and Micha where still plotting something. But not having Arthur work the jobs for them and do all the leg work?

Those plans seemed to fizzle out like old cigarettes embers.

Arthur was strong, smart (despite what he would say) and was so damn quick with a gun.

Charles knew the love of his life would survive.

But the sight of Charles's beloved mate tanning the hide of a jaguar, hit a nerve.

Normally Charles wouldn't mind Arthur hunting big game, it was impressive. From a poor hunter to a master class one Arthurs skills had grown.

But Arthur was pregnant. Hardly a month or so, Kieran oddly had a skill when it came to babies? Like he knew Arthur was pregnant before Arthur did.

He had told Charles he was going fishing just down the way. Told Charles he would be safe and not to worry. Judging by the hanging corpse of a jaguar that's not what happened.

“Arthur.” Charles walked over to him, crossing his arms over his chest.

The outlaw jumped a bit holding the fleshing knife still. “Howdy Charles, how was ya-” Arthur's voice slowly died in his throat receiving a pointed look from his Alpha. “I…um…can explain?”

“I would love to hear it, how did you catch a jaguar while fishing?” Charles asked keeping his voice quiet and even.

Innocent until proven guilty and all that.

“I promise ya I was fishing, pretty bluegill just down the way. I was sitting down, drinking all that water ya asked me too and even ate.” he offered up. “I was packing my basket of fish to go, looked up and there it was. A whole jaguar!” Arthur shifted as told his story. “Started running for me, I was able to shoot it before it got too close.”

Charles looked at Arthur and slowly looked at the big cat. He covered his eyes and gave a low grown. “Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Naw, didn't even touch me.” Arthur rested his thumbs in his (much loser) gunbelt. “I'mma sorry, I didn't think-”

“It's fine Arthur. I'm glad you're okay, baby okay too?” Charles asked.

Arthur nodded slowly. “Yeah, had Mrs.Grimshaw check…baby is fine.”

“What am I going to do with you, crazy white boy? Strange things happen to you.” Charles pulled Arthur close and kissed him. “…..now…the pelt is beautiful…what are you planning on doing with it?” he asked resting his arm over Arthurs shoulder.

“Aw hell, i dont know. I'm still shocked you wanna be around me. Maybe keep me on a leash?” Arthur joked into the kiss. “Oh the pelt? I was thinking…i don't think I could use a stroller for the baby. I need to work and I ain't gonna dump our baby on people…was thinking of a backboard? Big enough for you and me to be able ta wear.”

Charles nodded thinking it over. “I get what you mean about strollers, I've only seen them in places with streets. Bulky and metal.” he looked at the pelt. “A backboard is a good idea, I'm not sure how to make one…”

“Figured next time we visit Eagle flys and Rainfalls we would ask?” Arthur suggested. “Being the best leather and hide we got?”

“I would like that.” Charles gave a nod. “But if you get attacked by another Jaguar, I think I'll die.”

“Oh no you ain't! Ya gotta stick around with me. Can't die until I do.”

Charles laughed loudly. “Love you too.”

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2021 for cscoop but i will replace coopers name with schlatts. enjoy!

-

"very sorry about having to delay the video again! i'm working really really hard on it, just give me some extra time, and i'll have it up by next week!"

... i feel bad for lying to the fans, but what am i supposed to say in a situation like this. 'oh sorry loyal viewers of the y/c/n youtube channel, ive been a bit busy having a child.'

i hadn't told anyone about her, and i wasn't really planning on it until she was old enough to conveniently walk into my recording studio. i made a really bad decision months ago when i decided to fuck a dude i didn't know, but the outcome was truly someone beautiful.

i sighed and decided that i should maybe try get a video out by next week, so i get off my ass and head to my recording room. however, before i do so i go to my own room to check on my little girl.

she's sleeping peacefully in the dimly lit room, nothing but her soft breathing being heard. i smile, not in a million years would i expect this to happen. when i found out i was pregnant i was mortified, i told nobody, i still haven't, what will they think of me if they found out i just fucked a random dude? i'd be slaughtered for sure. however, when i first lay eyes on her, i knew that she deserved all the love in the world, for she was perfect.

instead of staring at my child for the next hour i decide to finally get out of the room and work on the video i promised. it was already recorded, just editing to do, so the fun parts already over with. instead of wearing headphones, i let the sound come straight from my speakers, with my pc turned down extremely low, just to not disturb my daughters slumber.

the videos not too hard to edit, just a gameplay of castle crashers with the sleep deprived gang. the memories of the recording session rushed back as i was editing, a smile was brought to my face.

"go dude get his ass!' i yell into my mic.

'you're fuckin alive too y/n, help me out here!' schlatt responds 'besides, you were all talk earlier, what was that you said 'ougghhh i'm sooo good at castle crashers i finished all of it on the original xbox, you guys wont get any opportunity to shine.'

the rest of the group laugh as schlatt teases. mika ended up getting the final kill on the boss.

'god, you two tease SO much, why dont you two just fuck already?' mika joked. the group laughed once more, however, i was left thinking... is this really what everyone else thinks? do they know im pregnant? oh god...

'you good y/n? shit was a joke please dont think too much about it. i dont wanna get too many thoughts into your head.' mika interrupts your thought process.

'dont worry moka, i was just thinkin of a good response, since schlatts mouth is a little too full at the moment.' i smile, leading up to a bit, hoping schlatt gets where i'm trying to go with it. i never actually thought of cooper as such, however, the idea was intriguing... i wouldn't say no if he ever asked me out... and with this little dude on the way, itd be a good help.

'my mouths too full? what the fucks that supposed to mean?' schlatt quizzes, surprisingly he doesn't know what i'm leading up to. thats not like jschlatt...

'your mouths filled up with deez nuts dog, jesus christ' you giggle, schlatt groans in response, a bang on his desk being heard over the discord call. once again the other members in the call erupted into laughter.

'how'd you miss that coming, schlatt! i saw that shit from 300 miles away!' aztro struggles to say, her voice filled with laughter.

'surley.' mika simply says.

'look shut up, i'm a bit stup- oH SHIT WATCH YOUR ASSES WE HAVENT SAVED' schlatt yells out, but it's a little bit too late, as each knights health runs to 0.

the video was edited in the span of 3 hours, and with regular checks on the wee doll, everything was going fine.

you let your subscribers know that the video was done and ready to be uploaded with a tweet and youtube community post.

'hey dudes! the videos all ready to upload! see you guys again next week!'

as soon as i posted, likes and quote retweets were flying in. the people in the replies were ecstatic, and all of the dudes were dropping 'welcome backs :D' in the comments.

however, when i saw the response from schlatt, i swear my smile beamed more.

'welcome back fuckhead, we hangin later, yea? awesome, i'll be an hour ;)'

though my smile didn't last, for i looked down to see my daughter in my arms. oh. fuck.

what's schlatt gonna say when he sees you?!

hes gonna think im a whore! oh fuck my friendships gone hes gonna tell everyone, and im just getting feelings for him and everythings goin- woah hold on.

. . .

it sounds so right to say that?

i have feelings... for johnathan jschlatt...

i have feelings for johnathan jschlatt...

i have FEELINGS for JOHNATH okay we get it.

there's definitely a blush on my face, but i gotta put this newly discovered truth to the side, cause this silly little goobers here. what do i do?! i cant just stuff her into a closet! my plans foiled!

aegghhh...

this panic ensures for an hour, until that dreadful moment where theres a knock on the door.

i put her back into my bedroom, hoping that theres a chance that maybe she'll sleep again?

and walk back down the hall...

to the front door...

and slowly pull the handle...

to reveal...

...

schlatt, of course, who else was i expecting.

"schlatty!" i exclaim, pulling him into a tight hug.

"ey, whats up y/n," schlatt responds, return the hug, placing his head atop of mine. "you've been offline for a bit and wanted to see if everythings good. i hope you don't mind me suddenly coming over." he chuckles.

i smile in relief, hes so chill all the time. "don't worry, i've just been a bit.. pre-occupied, i'm perfect as usual dude." i close the door after schlatt, and we both walk into the living room.

theres no shortage of conversations, johnathan talks about how him, mika and pandah recently had a massive clear out, and he found an old glow in the dark ring i won for him in an arcade years ago.

-

"'we're only 20 points away from being able to get anything from the prize counter, come on john, lets play some easy mini games!' a 18 year old y/n replays in your mind.

'you want to get something so bad get your own points... i'll keep watch though cause i know you too well, y/n.' johnathan responds. 'besides, you wouldn't want me to miss if you got something huge, right?'

i stick my tongue out, preparing to spin a wheel with numerous numbers of points on them. it finally lands on 100 points, which definitely isn't the most but it's not the lowest amount either.

'YOOOOO!' you yell in unison, claiming your points.

as we arrive at the counter, i see this glow in the dark ring and decide 'john will hate me for this'

so i purchased it, and jokingly proposed to johnathan. to my surprise, he said yes, and wore it back to his house, his parents question it, i remember. they've been very keen on johnathan and i getting together, ever since we were younger. too bad my plans changed...

as we both kept reminiscing of the past and our food arrived, everything was going quite well. she was silent for majority of the time schlatt was in my home, which is really lucky.

we would occasionally go silent, and during that time i would scan johnathans face. he'd catch me starting from time, and he'd stare at me with forced wider eyes. we'd laugh at this.

unfortunately the moment was ruined, for a small, frail cry could be heard down the hall. at this moment i could feel my soul leave my body FUCK

"dude..." johnathan begins hesitantly. he looks extremely confused. "you.. you fuckin... child dlc?"

you both laugh at the comment, however he still looks lost. the kids probably best not to be left crying, so i head to the room to bring her down the hall. i come back, and his face shows a bit more understanding.

"woah." he gawks. his head relaxing on his shoulders and his muscles un-tensing. a smile is brought to my face.

at this point the small wails from the girl has stopped, her tiny frame in your arms as you sit down next to johnathan, a little closer than last.

"shes my little dude! sorry i didnt really say anything... i didnt want anyone to know, especially the youtube dudes..." at the end i trail off, thinking how stupid that sounds. these guys are some of my closest friends, why would they judge me for something like this?

one of his arms wrap around my shoulder and the other wraps around the little girl in my arms. theres a tranquil smile on his face, as he looks down at her.

"why'd you think hiding something this cool was good idea, y/n? look at her! she's awesome, i'm sure the dudes will love her!" he laughs. he leans his head against mine, and my face grows warm. "still surprised you 'got some' though, yknow what im sayin?" you can feel a faint smile tug your lips.

schlatts finger runs down the childs arm softly, and ends at her hand. he stopped and stared as her tiny fingers gripped around his finger. truth be told, he was astatic that his long time friend had a child. he was so happy to see his friend happy, and to have her here in his arms, and her daughter made everything better.

he loved you.

he kept staring at the little girl in my arms, his eyes unmoving, but there were another set of eyes that were unmoving.

my eyes kept on schlatts face, a dazed smile plastered on both of our faces. unnoticed, i put my hand over johnathans which rested on my shoulder.

his eyes move to look at mine, a shimmer in his eyes as his pupils grow. i study his face, his pasty physique now grazed with a soft pink, and his lips slightly parted. his eyes seem to be doing the same as yours.

his hands turning around to grasp mine, and just now am i noticing how silent the room is, all that is heard is the breathing from the three of us. a nervous smile once again graces my lips, leaning my back into johnathan a little more.

after a couple of more seconds of decision on wether or not this is what we should be doing, our mouths finally meet.

it was a very quick kiss, but we take no time at all to go back for a second, then a third.

and then a fourth.

once finished, we both smiled and looked down, both of our faces a rose like color. johnathans hands still caught by the girl in my arms, and my own.

"i could get used to this." johnathan says after some time, his head leaning into mine. all three of us falling asleep on one another. i hum in response, with a small chuckle coming through. i turn my head and give him another kiss on the cheek, and as i do it his cheeks turn red again. some of his brown hair falls down closer to his face as he looks at me again, simply to return the favor.

his lips are slightly chapped, but still feel soft and perfect against yours, he parts first, feeling his finger finally being let go. she had fallen asleep.

"my fingers sweaty... euch" he whispers, making a grossed out noise at the end. he leaned back into you. "love you."

i feel hot again.

"love you too johnathan."

-

this story was better when it wasnt jschlatt dont care hope you enjoyed

[bitchkay]

Do you have any drabbles or short fics for Robin playing with his human siblings? 🥺

Kitty deserves more attention, and so do ur sillies

I dont😔👊🏽💔

But I also haven't opened google docs in so long--

I haven't progressed on alot of wips simply cus I dont want to--

Like I'm like "I wanna work on this" then I open the doc and go "no, I actually dont"

The fics will however be let out of the vault eventually💯

I did start a wip a while ago about pregnant sex-- i know, but I stopped cus I dont know how to make it not sound weird like I really wanted to touch upon pregnancy hormones a d what it was like being pregnant with Halo compared to what it was like being pregnant with the twins and I started doing a bunch of research about it and what's normal, abnormal, and like the nuances about arousal during pregnancy even from the husbands side of the ordeal and how emotions can really be on high during the second to third trimester

There also another I started kinda on the whim a little bit ago that's like angst/hurt comfort which is more about the complications during the pregnancy w the elder twins and Rio reacting to everything that's happened so much so fast after the birth because the pregnancy w the twins was miserable and not the best experience cus it was a high risk pregnancy mostly in part due to being pregnant with twins especially fraternal twins and it being your first ever pregnancy on top of them being twins, so the birth was not an easy or fast process, I also did a bunch of research on the complications that can happen during birth and the circumstances if one was to die during birth, you definitely do live but I needed to know the extent of how much pain I can put you through, I also searched a bunch of medical terms and recovery processes for after a complicated birth and recovering from surgery, it's pretty much Rio working through his emotions cus yeah he just became a dad but you were also unconscious for a scary amount of hours and did a lot if the post birth bonding without you there next to him, it's a little darker than stuff I usually write but one of the reasons I love my little au so much is I be doing some goddamn research on shit I will never experience(I don't wanna be pregnant ever in my life)

☝🏽☝🏽Would you believe that either one of those wips I mentioned are probably rn 4-5 paragraphs tops, maybe 3 excluding the dialogue

Theres also "Boys will be bugs" (which I haven't started yet) which is pretty much Theo playing outside in the dirt cus he likes dirt and bugs, Theo loves bugs, like he loves bugs, yeah, hes autistic, he has a per caterpillar he cant wait til turns into a butterfly and set free

And then there's "Two pairs of twins" I think I started it idk I don't think I did, but it's about the dynamics between the oldests and the youngests, the elder twins and the younger twins, Adephagia and Gulliver watching the toddler Dylan and Eliana pretty much like damn I can't believe we're 16 apart and making a joke about neutering their dad because they cannot fathom the idea of their parents ever having sex but also, I touched on this in Prince and Princess but cus they're getting older they're more distant than they once were, they're still close but they're now burdened with more responsibility and stress because they're the oldest and one of them would one day succeed their father on the throne but because of you and your magic of dear lady vane until one of their manifest ancient magic it's not clear who exactly would be taking the throne. Talking care of their baby sisters is kinda like how they bond, you know? they're just regular siblings and not heirs to a throne, also the girls are really cute, they fight over who looks more like who cus Dylan and Eliana are also fraternal twins💀

Theres also another idea in my head that simply just have not written down but it's been in my noggin since I posted Prince and Princess and it like the other side of that like it takes place on the same day but kinda from Halos perspective like it goes through Halos day while the elder twins are getting fired for their first adult sized royal finery and like it kinda just introduced Halos little crush on Thoma, nothing comes of it cus Thoma is obviously way older and known her since she was born but it's just innocent little schoolgirl crush, you know how it is shes 14 and Thoma is nice to her kinda like how young girls would have a crush on their teacher, Halo helps him out with some of his tasks and stuff, just like how in prince and princess there was a Theo and Atlas cameo, there would be a Genesis w the younger twins cameo, I think that would be cute♡

I love that you feed my braid worms and I can rant about my sillies, all I be doing nowadays maladaptivly daydream about them

[elliesgirrl]

" My Girl "

Ellie Williams x Fem!reader

Summary: Ellie was behind a building in ruins, trying to stop her bleading after fighting with some gang and then she met someone..

Warnings: pure fluff, farmer!reader, loser!Ellie, Ellie loves fat cows, readers does too, kinda ooc Ellie, a whole character is a lorax reference

Author's note: this is my first fic in a while, so pls let me know if i make a mistake!!

No proof read 💐😡

Ellie was behind a building in ruins, her arms was bleeding from fighting some gang (and winning ofc..) and she was trying to stop the bleeding, *it hurted really bad*

After some minutes, she heard some dogs sounds, did those guys came for more? And with dogs too?! But she couldnt be more wrong, she soon saw a girl with those dogs, she was walking carefully and when the girl notices her, her eyes widen

The girl rushed to Ellie, it was like she didnt think twice about it, what seemed really dumb to Ellie since she was in alert since the moment she heard her dogs

"Are you okay? What happened? Does it hurt too much?"

The girl asked, in a worried tone..

"Im fine, its.. Tolerable."

Ellie answer but then she groaned, when she felt a sharp pain in her arms, then the girl helped her get up.

"Here, let me take you to my farm"

The girl said in her worried tone, she called her dogs and grabbed their leash and began to guide Ellie, who was actually pretty dumbfounded by the girl's kindess.

They arrieved to the girls house in a little bit, it wasn too far away from the place they just were, they enter the girl's house and it was really pretty and cozy, the girl made Ellie sit down on the couch, and then she grabbed a first aid kit and began to heal Ellie's wound

"Whats your name?"

The girl asked, in a soft voice

"Uh.. Im Ellie, you?"

She replied, trying to not let another groan out

"Im y/n"

She also replied, giving Ellie a warm smile and after a little, finishing patching her up she put the first aid kit where it belongs, leaving Ellie in the couch in the living room

When she came back, she swears that Ellie looked like a godess rigth now, she was looking at the window, the window lets you see the animals, the cows, horses and sheeps from the farm, it made you giggle a little

"Do you like animals?"

you said to Ellie, and she looked back at you a little surprised because she wasnt paying attention to anything but the animals but she let out a soft laugh and answer

"Yeah.. a little bit"

you nod smiling and sit at the couch next to her, you were going to say something but then you guys heard some foot steps from upstairs and an old lady stepped to where you guys were

"Oh? Who is this young lady, y/n? Is she one of your suitors?"

she asked teasing you, what made you blush a little and sigh

"What are you talking about nana?.. "

you asked in a awkward tone, with an awkward laugh

"My name is Ellie, ma'am"

she introduced herself to you grandma, with a warm smile and your grandma felt flattered

"Im granny Norma, dear!"

they chatted for a little while and you were dying from embarrasement because your grandma still thougth that you and Ellie were dating, even if you told her you werent

"Alrigth Ellie! So, why dont we take you to breath fresh air?"

You said, grabbing Ellie's arm and taking her out of the house, your face was blushed and she sighs when they got out but Ellie had to hold her laugh

"Your grandma is nice!"

Ellie said smiling

"Oh yeah.. well, wanna see the animals?"

"yes."

the two of you went to the farm, Ellie could hear a lot of animal sounds, moos and meee and whatever sound horses make! And she thougth it was so beautiful and peaceful

they got close to the cows, and you hugged one of them

"this fat lady is Linda, she is pregnant"

you said and kissed the cows forehead

"Really? Well i bet she will be a good mother"

"She better be.. if she doesnt i migth eat her"

you joked and Ellie laughed at it, and pets the cow softly

"Bet she tastes good too!"

you and Ellie spent the whole day in the farm with the animals, she helped you around with cleaning and feeding the animals even if you insisted her to not do it, and when the sun goes down and the moons comes out, your grandma called the both of you to eat dinner

you ate dinner and after it, you started to prepare the couch as a bed

"you can sleep in my bed, Ellie, i will sleep here"

"what? No! This is your house, i should be the one sleeping in the couch"

Ellie protested, she couldnt leave you sleeping on the couch of your own house when a stranger was sleeping on your bed

"actually.. would you like to sleep here, with me? like a sleepover!"

you suggested to Ellie, smiling and she opens her eyes widely

"well... sure, i dont mind"

You grabbed Ellie's arm, making her sit on the couch and began to talk, you gossip (well, Ellie did since the most interesting story you had it was when you fell on Linda's poop) and chatted, laughed all nigth until you touched the love theme

"So, Ellie.. did you ever had a girlfriend?

You asked, with a playful smile

"I did, actually, we dated for 6 months or so?"

she answers normally

"Oh, cool!"

"Did you?"

"Nope! I mean.. its been only me and my grandma this whole time.."

you explained to Ellie, and she nodded, understandly

"Well, at least you're safe here"

Ellie added, for her, safety was better than having a love life

"Yeah.. im glad, i wouldnt know what to do if something happens to my grandma"

you stay talking until it was too late and you both fell asleep in the couch, your head on her shoulder and her arm around you

the next day, when Ellie had to leave, you hugged her tigthly

"Take care, Ellie"

"I will, thank you for taking care of me yesterday"

you just smiled warmly at Ellie and then she left, but before she got too far away, you runned to her and gave her a soft and quick kiss on her lips, your cheeks blushing and you pulled away

"Come to visit me someday, Ellie."

[pilotheather]

LOL

not to rant about it further. cuz this is pointless bc lol itds not even what he did. but im still seeing ppl so angry at it cuz "SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN RIVERRRRR" and again its not just the fact its so cheap and overdone, but... like agan. in the firstplace, i do not like it when a companion is meant to be some special little enigma. so many reasons why thats fucking annoying. but like the fact that theyre a special little enigma becAUSE they MIGHT BE the CHILD of ... another character we already know! like its everything i find most irritating fucking coalescing. like i fucking hate the implications it has just in general that theres some sort of birthright and that blood and relation is what makes someone special. i dont ufcking get it. and its like i feel like the new character, whoever they are, just end up livingin their other familial relation's shadow. like theyre always the daughter of x or the sister of y or fuckin whatever. and yes you can break out of that mould you can. but when, like, the entire MYSTERY OF YOU and who you are is like OOOOOHHH LOOKY LOOK, AN OLD FAN FAVOURITE POPPED ONE OUT ... like Ok. and its like. everyones likie "BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL" - LIKE, TO DO WHAT? CUZ EVEN IF YOU DONT MIND ALL THAT STUFF... THIS IS LITERALLY SO OVERDONE. ITS SO FUCKING BORING. ARE YOU NOT SICK OF IT. DO YOU NOT WANT A SHOW TO LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE. DO YOU NOT WANT A MYSTERY THAT'S MORE THAN A BIG "LETS SEE WHICH OF OUR FAVOURITE TOY THIS IS!! xD"

AND ITS LIKE. IM ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO PRETEND RTD DID A GOOD FUCKING JOB OF EXECUTION. I ABSOLUTELY SHANT. i dont think he should have even faked out with it. but i am absolutely relieved thatshes just a normal woman even if it just falls flat. and that the whole POINT is shes normalbut we fucking hype shit up to deaht when its literally not that or anyhting like that. god. anwyays.

oh and. AND NOT TO MENTION. FULLY RESPECT IT COULD GO DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME. BUT LIKE... WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE REVEAL. IF IT WAS RIVER, OR 13, OR WHO KNOWS WHO WHAT HAPPENS THEN. THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING LOATHE ABOUT S6. I FUCKING HATE AMY SO BADLY BUT ALSO JSUT... moffats whole take on her being pregnant and horribly violated (i wouldgenuinely. think this akin to something like rape because god knows WHAT they did to her body) whilst she was unconscious for months for a shock horror woohoo! she's pregnant and wow! shock again! it's river! when like once the payoff was said and done its like... never really mentioned or reflected on at all aside from silly jokes. like haha hi mummmmm. like we see rory and amys relationship break down for an episode cuz she cant have kids any more. fantastic. but like theyjust had a whole fucking child that ... JESUS CHRIST. and i jsut have to fucking sit there and wonder what was all that mysteryt even for what did you fucking do with it in the end. you dragged it on and on for a reveal and bang now what. cuz look im not saying season long mysteries have to have any sort of impact. and this is what happens with MOST doctor who mysteries- hell its what happened here. but once youre bringing in crzy dynamics with that amongst characters......are you not gonna sAYYYY ANYTHING. HELLO? HELP ME? LIKE . I JSUT DONT THINK DOCTOR WHO CAN DO IT JUSTICE, SORRY. I DONT THINK IT CAN. ESPECIALLY NOT WITH THE CURRENT WAY ITS HANDLING THINGS. AND I LOVE THE SHOW, I DO. but like 8 episodes long with scant development and lots of ... really superficial relationships and dynamics right now.... which is such a shame because the cast has chemistry but its barely COOKED ENOUGH to handle even THAT nevermind whatever heavt shit people supposedly wanna bring in

like i feel like when ppl beg for twists in tv shows they dont sdit there and think they just want the biggest craziest twist ever. why dont we all wake up and its just a dream. stfu

[andvys]

ANDY!! how are you? I just caught up with the last 2 chapters and they were amazing!!

“Uh, it’s your birthday present.”

oh??? 🤨 is that a bomb

He scratches the back of his neck, “uh well, apparently Ray is a fan of pocket knives,” he laughs. 

omg i remember in school when we were like 14 boys used to bring pocket knives with them and that was scary cause wtf

You weren’t good enough for that – he did not want to change for you. 

NOOO DONT THINK THAT BABY

“She is not you.”

steve... what the hell.

“She’s not the one that I want.”

ANOTHER STRIKE BACK TO BACK???

“I know,” he whispers, frowning at the ground, “I know, I’m sorry. I-I made a mistake and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”

the rest of your- BOY

“We both made mistakes.”

girl... i don't think you did tbh

“I was a fucking asshole, y/n. I was an asshole to you, every day of our relationship, I kept fucking up, over and over again and you tolerated it, you never left me. You never got mad at me, you never said anything rude, you never did anything bad, you were – fuck, you were perfect, you are perfect,” he holds your hand tighter.

yeahhhh she's way too good for you

“I’m sorry that I acted like I wasn’t interested in the things you loved doing. I’m sorry that I didn’t show you how much I really loved you. I’m sorry that I didn’t hold you enough, that I didn’t kiss you the way you should have been kissed, that I didn’t take care of you.” 

took him long enough 😭

This year he can’t even hug you.

BOOOOO

“I’ll throw it away later, huh?” She asks, mocking him. 

OH I'D BE PISSED TOO NANCY

Her eyes have strayed away from him just a few weeks after he left you for her. The moment Jonathan stepped into her life, her heart was no longer his, she gave it to her supposed new friend. 

OH SO YOURE BEING PLAYED LIKE YOU PLAYED Y/N AHAHAHHAA

It makes your stomach flip – you don’t know why. 

girl... calm your horses 🤨

“Uh, the store!” Robin says, sheepishly as she gives you a crooked grin. 

SHES SO ME 😭

“Oh my god, y/n!” Heather snorts, “stop joking about it or you’re actually getting them someday!” 

i would actually jump off a cliff if it happened to me 😭

Apparently you are pregnant with Eddie’s baby and living in his trailer. 

NOT THIS

The pregnancy rumor made you physically sick – it made you stand in front of the mirror, checking for signs that you had gained weight. You did not, it still made you feel nauseous and you had to cancel your dinner ‘date’ with your friends. 

OH NO BABY :(((

“You have no idea how much I wanna get rid of that title,” you laugh, “I’m ready to give that position up to Chrissy.” 

girl we don't have cheerleaders here, do you know what i would do to be a cheerleader?? 😭

Jonathan shrugs, refraining from rolling his eyes, “cause you’re the captain of the basketball team and she’s cheer captain.” 

CAN PRINCIPAL MAKE IT EVEN MORE AWKWARD

Jonathan huffs with a soft chuckle, “yeah, you look good but uh, Steve? You’re supposed to look into the camera,” he says awkwardly. 

PFFF THIS IS SO AWKWARD IM—

“That uh, that was our dream. I only wanted to go to college with you.”

bro really based his whole life on a high school girlfriend 😭 that's bravery

“I got a job at the ice cream parlor,” he clears his throat, “Scoops Ahoy.” 

YESSSSSS OMG WE'LL GET SAILOR STEVE (and Robin? 👀)

“The one I’m pregnant? The one where he sacrificed a lamb to get my undying love and devotion? The one where I cheated on Steve? Which one of them all?” 

NOT THE POOR LITTLE LAMB 💀 was it served with hot sause

“Y-You look amazing is what I’m trying to say,” Nancy says nervously. 

enemies to lover arc with Nancy? 🫨

“You’re a little oblivious, aren’t you?” 

A LITTLE

btw how did you like 1989 TV? 👀 honey anon

BESTIE HI!!!!

I’m doing okay!!! I’m excited for Christmas season! 🤭 how are you? 🩷

OMG NO!!! why would they bring pocket knives to school 😭 (i got one too but only because i’m afraid of men LMAO)

Nancy had a reason to be pissed but damn girl, you stole someone’s boyfriend 😩

Robin buying the store bought cake is so relatable. I love baking but the moment I gotta bake a cake for someone I always fail 💀

AND WE DONT HAVE CHEERLEADERS HERE AT SCHOOL EITHER!!! 😭💔 like you can join a cheer team as a hobby but there’s no cheer teams or sports team in general at the schools here. I would’ve definitely been a cheerleader too if we had that here 🥲

And the principal ships steve and reader 😌 he cried when they broke up 😪

You’re definitely getting Steve and Robin at scoops ahoy with they’re cute little sailor uniforms 🤭

Also enemies to lovers with Nancy? Imagine if that was the plan all along 🤭 Nancy’s song would be Mastermind then

I LOVE THE VAULT TRACKS!! I love all of them but especially Slut! and Say don’t go (but is it over now? too ugh) AND I KNOW PLACES THE GROWL IN THE SONG? I SCREAMED 😭😭 how did you like it? 🤭

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 ‘I will pay him to shut up. I’m broke as a fucking joke but bro i am willing to work my tushy on every corner to make him shut up. Pretentious fucker. I’m so happy Brian isn’t this cringey. *mocks ethan* alone jerking off. Oh fuck off. HE WAS IMAGINING HIM KISSING HIM. I WILL LITERALLY VOMIT RIGHT THIS SECOND, this is gonna sound weird but Bri looks better when he gets head. This guy makes funky faces. (THE KNOCK JUST HAPPENED) imagine if its brian!!!!! He needs help with more posters or some shit! OH MY GOD ROSES! OH ETHAN LOOKS LIKE HE JUST SAW HIS OWN LIFE FLASH BEFORE HIS EYES….spoiler alert it was a very boring one. HIS MUUUUSE? OH ETHAN IS SCARED- OH FUCKS SAKE BEN! WHY DO YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!’ *Mikey is now being dramatic with a needle* ‘Mikey whatcha doing? Dude, why cant you just be dramatic over boyfriends the same way everyone else is? Dye your hair red and get a buzzcut! FINALLY BEN! Now go back to boring and call it a day’ And we are back to Justin ‘ow ow Justin that has to hurt. TELL HIM! YES HE IS A LIAR! OH YOU MISSED HIM? FOR A DAY?! OH ITS JUSTINS FAULT AGAIN LIKE USUALLY?! (Ethan says thee line) OH YOU KEEP YOUR BRIANS NAME OUT OF YOU CHEATIN MOUTH! EXACTLY YOU NEVER FORGAVE HIM BC HE DIDNT DO SHIT WRONG! HE WAS HONEST FROM DAY ONE! YES LEAVE! SHOVE THAT RING UP YOUR ASS. Oh i have a few ideas what you could do without Justin. *does middle fingers at Ethan* HAHAHA FUCK YOU MARACAS BOY! JUSTIN FINALLY SAW THE LIGHT! *pauses tv* you know what we need now? Brian and Justin to bump into each other and for him to see Justin’s bleeding hand. Yup. I could do this shit for a living!’ He is literally smiling so big and he rewinded the scene like 2 times. Each time he smiled more and more while also laughing at Ethan. *raises his soda in the air* ‘lets all have a toast to Ben’s failed attempt at trying to be less boring. Glad you saw the light, big guy.’ ‘NOW HOW DID BRIAN KNOW HE DIDNT SLEEP AT HO-oh his clothes are the same. BRI YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE SO HAPPY! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? THEY BROKE UP! (Ted just thanked Brian) dude, stop acting like you dont care for your friends. I get that its part of your schtick but dude come on. you most certainly did it for Teddy! THERES POTENTIAL IN THIS BROMANCE!’ ‘Oh fuck you Justin, you were buddies with him last episode but now youre saying he’s acting like total shit, i mean okay true BUT COME ON. And Debbie, maybe you could understand it if you, oh I don’t know, stopped blaming him all the time and being rude to him one second and the next you love him! Im still mad at you acting like you dont know that he loves Justin!’ Melanie just said she’s pregnant ‘oh no. Oh no. This is gonna be the worst thing since…quick name something bad. Mike is gonna be a dad. Oh that’s…i dont wanna say bad but i am coming up short on any other word’ ‘BRIAN! (Btw every time he says that when he comes on tv he literally points to the tv like he’s shocked he’s in the show..imagine that one Leo Dicaprio gif) HEY! brian is a good dad! *looks at me in wonder* Do you think backrooms are still a thing? Are they even legal? OH MY GOD ITS BLONDIE! JUSTIN!! HES IN THE BACKROOM! HES IN THE CLUB! FINALLY!! I hated how he acted that he was too good for it. AND LOOK HOW FAST BRI BRI SAW HIM! of course you are gonna fuck next to hi- OH JUSTIN SAW HIM *starts hitting me all excited* THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER! THEY ARE FUCKING AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER!!! DID YOU SEE THAT SMIRK? OH JUSTIN ISNT EVEN TRYING TO LOOK AWAY! *stands up and starts showing his shirt* TEAM FUCKING BRIAN! I KNOW THATS RIGHT! *screams literally on top of his lungs* I WANNA FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE?! OH THEY ARE SICK FOR THAT!’ He is now staring at the tv with his hands in his hair smiling while credits roll..’oh i gotta call mom! I gotta tell her! This is big news, shit i gotta call (friends name)! I gotta tell him all about this! I knew this shirt would work, you all thought i was crazy but it worked!’ And now he is giving mom the full run down. She is stuck with him on the phone bc she ignored his calls so he guilt tripped her

Your brother's reaction to THEE SCENE is everything. It is perfect. 10/10 would read that a million times over, no notes. (Or, this being tumblr, 1k notes post)

Brian and Justin to bump into each other and for him to see Justin’s bleeding hand. <- WHY WERE WE ROBBED OF THIS

THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER! THEY ARE FUCKING AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER!!! DID YOU SEE THAT SMIRK? OH JUSTIN ISNT EVEN TRYING TO LOOK AWAY! *stands up and starts showing his shirt* TEAM FUCKING BRIAN! I KNOW THATS RIGHT! *screams literally on top of his lungs* I WANNA FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE?! OH THEY ARE SICK FOR THAT!’

That is all of us right now.

I LOVE that your brother immediately wanted to tell everyone. No one cares but he still wants to share the good news.

[lovesaadiqa]

the unthethered soul

this book is one that keeps on giving or growing me i should say. my second time reading it helped me realized the different spaces i was in before and now. i seldom go back and read my entries, its kinda of cringe for me especially when i don't see in growth from one post to another, stagnation makes me sad. anyway i cried alot the first time i read this book and this time im highlighting like hell. just to catch me up, ive been driving over the road for 5 months now, initially soothing myself with music, empty conversation from random people and as dangerous as it sounds, tv, movies and murder mysteries. the last 30 days has been silent asf on my truck, no nothing! the window down and my thoughts. i gave the book another go round but ive been applying what im reading and this shit is no joke! ive learned how to know when im in the seat of self, how to be aware of my awareness, how to watch my emotions form, how to disconnect from what im seeing and pay attention to how whatever it is im seeing is making me feel. amateur at best but today was another monster and i can see how i definitely will need my awareness to grow and how consistency will play a major role in how fast i can find my freedom.

its 4th of july, no the weekend, the literal day. i'd been driving for 4 hours and go to my receiver super early because when i started my route i forgot the time zone was going to change. i arrived at 1:30 cst and am told the ppl who unload me was changing shifts and i'd have to wait until 3:45.. there's no pressure but its hard asf to find parking in general but especially on a holiday or weekend so idgaf about nothing but finding parking because im less than 1/2 mile aware from a flying j and dont wanna have to get back on the highway to find parking. i get back in my truck, eat and get on social media. i can feel someone unloading me but it's nowhere near 3:45 so i grab my paperwork and march my ass inside hype like "yes, imma be outta here soon" i get in a realize it was an over zealous worker who came in early for holiday pay (i'd still have to wait for my paperwork to get signed). someone shows up in the office right at 3:45 and im told they have to count and verify my freight which would be at least 30-45 more mins. im ok with that because my appt time wasn't until 5pm and im already unloaded before 4. it's gets dumb tricky because im notified im counted and good to go, i get inside and the guy who is to give me my papers says i have to pay a lumper fee. i've never in all my months had to pay a lumper fee, in fact i don't know wtf that is so i call my dm and I get Matt (he's a rude sob and hate hearing his damn voice) who tells me i have to send a message form. i do as im told but get a reference number on my tablet that says give this to the ppl inside to pay, i get inside give them the code and they tell me to put it in the payment slot on the text they sent (in my head im screaming "what fucking text") -- fuck the rest of the story

as im walking back and forth from my truck to the receiver i can feel the agitation building, my responses are on the rude side, i can hear my consciousness forewarning me that im getting heated. i tried to feel what was happening inside of me as im also trying to remain professional. i tell myself that im only frustated because i dont think im going to be able to find parking, im losing it becasue wtf is a lumper fee and wtf you mean i have to pay it, what text did you send me on top of hearing "western express this is Matt" lmmfaooooo. i get to the fucking gate to leave and the bitch gone say "can you pull all the way up im pregnant and i dont feel like walking to the back of your trailer. i legit wanted to run her tf over because bitch you at work and pregnant ppl arent handicapped HOT!!!! In the time it took me to tell myself to calm and actually calming down i ran a stop sign and drove past the flying j entrance.

then i get to my lil to do list and im supposed to read a chapter: Removing Your Inner Thorn (im literally fighting back tears writing this) the second fucking sentence "In order to grow, you must give up the struggle to remain the same, and learn to embrace change at all time" ATE ME TF UP! Im not the same because now i have the awareness to spot, feel and identify my emotions before they have me in a chokehold. knowing all that i still copped an attitude and let them run me. this chapter talks about have a literal thorn piercing a nerve and the options you have to avoid the pain. first option is to avoid anything that will touch, bother, graze, tap, irritate your torn.. second option, remove the fucking thorn all together! a few lines that made me legit get my laptop, come into the pilot and write this entire entry: if you decide you have to keep things from touching the thorn, then that becomes the work of a lifetime; the life of protecting yourself from the problem becomes a perfect reflection of the problem itself; you can actually fell that because you've minimized the pain of the problem, you've solved the problem.. all you did was devote your life to avoiding it; the problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what's inside; you are not the pain you feel; the thorns naturally work themselves out if you stop protecting them; you do no get rid of loneliness (or any thorn sadness, depression, anxiety, short temper, a broken heart, abdandonment) you just cease to be involved with it, it just another thing in the universerse like cars, glass or the stars.

i cant began to explain how i did the work and then read the book. there is no joy like getting it. i understand now. im praying for more situations to arise so i can better at this and win inner peace for myself. the ultimate goal for me is to sit in the seat of self and remain there.. i just know with my whole heart i will read this book until the cover falls off because it is a complete guide to spiritual freedom, in my opinion. i have about 6 books on my truck right now and this one is the most got a second read before i finished any of the other one for a first time. im happy to be here. in this space, with this awareness and the understanding of what to do with it and how if benefits me. i will get so fucking good at this!!

i hope when you come back to read this it wont be cringe babygirl. i wish you nothing but healing and total well being. to think that coming face to face with a pain that made you know want to wake up no more got you here is nothing but God's love for you. its so important to realize that it was all necessary! forgive, relax and release Saadiqa but most importantly remain thank for it all. equipped with the know-how to watch your thoughts and detach from them should make this journey so fucking delicious. you are awareness and EVERTHING else is an object of your consciousness. the feelings, the thoughts that get stuck on repeat, other people, aging, your body.. all of it. just a thing/things you've become aware of, they are not you. never, ever, ever forget that. leaving the seat of self is such a massive step down that some people do it for a single thing and they're never able to return again. that is the prize, the gift of a life lived. Chapter 8 over and over and over and over again!!!! please get this Saadiqa it is my life's wish for you NEVER STEP DOWN!

[chelleztjs18]

Haha gotta change up the nickname 😅

Yeah, usually if we're not busy, I'd be on my phone either on here reading and asking you questions, or on tiktok. Sometimes I play on my switch lite or do crossword puzzles. It gets really slow after 5 pm.

Things happen for a reason and at least we're still friends and talk so that's always a good thing to me. I think even if it didn't work out, I am glad that she is still part of my life somehow.

I kind of regret not telling her how I feel but at the same time I think it was a good choice not saying anything because she is straight 😅

You never had a tamagotchi before? You should get one for Christmas hahaha!

I dream most of the time. I never understand them though, and sometimes when I wake up, I don't remember any of it at all. This will sound crazy, but I want to believe that dreams are the windows to a multiverse 😅

Anyways, right now I am just playing on the switch and thinking of last minute items I need to get for Thursday. What about you?

Do you think you have a toxic trait?

-CuriousGeorge

Hahahha yeah true.. gotta changed up the nickname since i wont be sick anymore soon.lol.

Ah i see. Do u work from home since day one u started work or it's like this since covid?

I agree with u about u n ur ex.. it's a good way to look at it. I always try to find the silver lining to anything bad that happen to me even though sometimes hard. I always think that everything happen for a reason.

Ah i see, the type of crush is the hardest, so i've heard. 😁

Haha get a tamagochi for me? Nah, im too old for that. Lol. Do u always know what gift u want for ur self for bday or christmas? Do u buy gift to urself sometimes?

If yeah, what do u want for christmas this year?

Ah i see.. i mostly forgot my dream or not dream at all. Lol. Ouh multiverse, that might be true. I dont know. I hv heard before,people say that people who always dream flying around are actually their spirit is flying around, sometimes to the past or to a real place in the present. I hv met a person or two that dreams like that.

Wanna hear something crazy about my dream yeaaaaars ago? U can believe it or not. It's up to u. When i was like 17 or 18, which i never know that i would ever moved to U.S, i had 2 dreams that kinda "connected" to each other.

First one, so i was actually IN my dream as if i live on it. All of a sudden i felt weird with my stomach n turns out i was pregnant, i felt the pain n the uncomfortable feeling from the pregnancy, n when i try to find out where i am, i was with my friend in the U.S because i saw like a california license plate ( which i never know how it looks like), i walked so hard because of my belly. The dream was short n weird. N it just black out all of sudden when i get into the car n the dream ends.

Second, all of a sudden i was in my childhood house that my parent already sold. But all the furniture r still there n in the dream the house was still ours. I was looking if anybody there n then a little girl came up to me, n hug my legs call me Mama mama. I freaked out, she has wavy brown hair. N she looks like a mixed race girl. I was like where's ur dad, n she said over there with grandma. N i saw a tall white guy talks to my mom but his face was blurred n he said "hey hunnie".

So long story short i found out from my mom that he is my husband n she is my daughter. She even told me my daughter name n i saw her face. But whn i woke up, i forgot her name n her face. I only remember the voice n hair n her body feature n his body featurs.

And i kid you not, im swear im not joking. My husband is the same height n has the same haircut, same voice calling me with the same petnames. N my daughter's hair is wavy brown hair with the same voice n height just like how she is now n i live in the U.S. lol.. My mind is still blown until now. But really, u dont have to believe this. 😆

Toxic trait to myself? Yes i do i guess. I overthink butwhen i overthink i try not to express it but i do want to, so it drives me crazy a lot n hurts my feelings a lot. I overthink that i might say something wrong or do something wrong to people thsts why they dont reply or talk to me, or something. Stuff like that. I got attached pretty easy in a way if i like or adore someone i will not hesitate to do anything i could to help them or be there for them. But then i thought maybe i was too much or maybe people avoid me because of that n then i overthink..same circle of evil.hahaha.

Whats urs? Also im talkong with u right now n my other friends here, also brainstorming while watching one of my favorite fantasy movie The Huntsman: winter's war.

Sorry this answer is too long.

Cheerio!

[callsign-rockstar]

I do - N. Bradshaw

After a couple years of being engaged, Y/n and Nick Bradshaw were finally getting married. Even though the proposal had taken place years before the wedding, there was one more thing Nick had to say "I do" to on the day-of :)

a/n: sorry again for being so inactive!! this was a request and so is dedicated to @fandomstanner24 who requested it. I really hope y'all enjoy it, (stop reading this a/n if u dont wanna know what the surprise is, keep reading if u do) and if you want to know what y/n asks goose at the end/what the surprise was it's that she's preggers again :,).

•─────────────•°•❀•°•─────────────•

Opening her eyes, Y/n registered that today was different. She wasn’t waking up by her fiancé’s side. She was not, however, alone in her hotel bed. Her best friend, Penny, was waking up next to her, eyes sparkling while she was thinking about the day ahead. She shot up like a spring and shook y/n fully awake.

“Come on, y/n/n, we have to get you ready!”, Penny said.

“We can stay here for like, 5 more minutes, you know? We’re supposed to be up at 7 and its like, 6:30.”, replied y/n.

“Why am I more excited about this wedding than you are? Are you getting cold feet?”, asked Penny with mock concern. She grabbed her best friend and looked her in the eyes.

“If you want to ditch, I can be your getaway driver”, said Penny. And although it was a joke, somewhere in the back of her eyes, y/n knew Penny was more than willing to run away with her.

But y/n didn’t want that. Although she was nervous, she wanted to marry Nick Bradshaw more than anything she had ever wanted in this lifetime. 

“Shut up, Penny! I promise we’ll still be as close as we are now, if that’s what you’re worried about.”, replied y/n smiling and sitting up. 

Penny smiled and gave her best friend a hug, whispering in her ear that she loved her.

Neither of the expected to cry until the wedding itself, but on days like these emotions are running high. So, at 6:35 am, they were crying in each others arms.

They had been through everything together, and Penny could not be happier that her best friend was finally getting married to Goose. She knew they were soulmates, and she wasn’t worried about her friendship with Y/n because they were more than friends, they were sisters and twin flames. And nothing could ever take that away from them.

Both women got up and went downstairs for an early breakfast alone. They knew that this was probably one of the last moments they’d get to be alone together considering the day, so they enjoyed every last bit. The rest of the bridal party was supposed to get up at 7:00 like they had planned but quiet downtime was much appreciated. When they were done, they got to relax for a while up in their room. 

“I’m nervous, Penny. I have to call my parents and ask about Bradley. I miss him a lot and I want to know if he’s ok.”, said y/n, already dialing her parents’ house phone number into the hotel’s.

“Honey, I get it, getting married is big and nerve wracking. But I’m sure Bradley is perfectly fine! In fact, I bet he’s still asleep”, says Penny.

“Hi mom! Sorry for calling so early, I just wanna know how Bradley is.,” said y/n.

“He’s doing great princess. He just woke up, actually, do you wanna say hi?”, said y/n’s mom through the phone.

“Yes!”, exclaimed the bride-to-be.

“Hi mommy!”, said Bradley.

“Hi, honey. Have you had fun with your grandparents?” Asked y/n.

“Yes! We played with my toys and then we…”

Bradley proceeded to tell his mom about the time they’d been apart. Truthfully, he sounded like a big kid, despite only having turned 4 years old. It made y/n tear up a little bit, and it also brought back memories of when he was born. Nick had proposed to her only a couple weeks before they found out she was pregnant, and when they found out they figured they would rather focus all their energy into the baby and making sure y/n had the best pregnancy possible than to split the efforts between that and the wedding. That’s why it had been pretty much 5 years and they hadn’t gotten married yet.

But it was finally the day and they couldn’t be more excited.

Neither of the women knew, but Maverick and Goose were both asleep in their own hotel room, snoring the morning away. Nick woke up before his best friend, appreciating a second alone before Pete woke up. 

He sat with his feet on the floor, breathing in and out slowly and feeling the morning chill in the dark room. He drew the curtains slowly and stood right next to the window, observing the streets below. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. Everything was still for a fleeting moment, until he felt Maverick’s hand on his back.

“Ready, Goose?”, asked maverick.

“I’ve been ready this whole time,” answered Goose, with a smile on his face.

By 11:00, the bridal party was out of the hotel and at the venue: a beautiful botanical garden with a seaside view. The group consisted of Y/n, Penny who was the maid of honor, 3 other bridesmaids, Y/n’s mother, and the makeup and hair stylists. There was also the photographer who was doing her best to capture every moment that they would want to remember in 10, 20, 30… years time.

Bradley was in neither party, being carried around the venue back and forth between the guys and the women, but he was happy to be the center of attention wherever he went.

The day seemed to be both passing as quickly as water might slip through one’s fingers and as slow as a snail. One might say that 11:00 was early to get to the venue, but with weddings one can never be too early. By 2:00, almost everything was in order, and everyone was having lunch. The wedding planner was running around, trying to get every last detail right. She was making sure not one flower was out of place, that the band were where they had to be, that the sound system was in order and everything in between.

There was one more surprise that y/n and her best friend had to finish working out. One that not even Penny knew until a few hours before they came to the venue, but the reveal would have to wait until after the ceremony itself.

The guests were arriving at 3:00 and everything was exactly on schedule, with the wedding supposed to start at 3:30. Even though Y/n and her fiancé weren’t exactly the most traditional couple, they had been told by his mother to set the ceremony on the half hour mark, because that way their wedding would begin on the upswing as the minute hand on the clock was going up as well.

30 minutes later and everything was right where it needed to be. Y/n was still in the parlor, touching up her lipstick when her dad walked through the door. The room was silent, but there was a lot of love filling in the blanks that the quiet left open.

The man smiled at her daughter who always looked like a princess, but even more so in her gown. She looked like more than a princess, like an angel, he thought. She was perfect and he began to cry even before the ceremony started. Behind him was her mother, who shared her husband’s thoughts. She was getting teary eyed as well and both of them practically ran up to their beautiful daughter and hugged her tight.

Y/n wanted both of her parents to walk her down the aisle, she wanted to feel both of them next to her. The trio cried a little bit, but then y/n opened her trembling lips.

“Ok, we really have to stop crying. I can’t even imagine how bad it’s gonna get during the actual ceremony,” she laughed.

“Oh honey, we love you so much,” said her mother, as both parents kissed their daughter’s cheek.

“We better get going,” said her dad, as he heard the guests quieting down when the piano began.

“I know. But I have one more thing to tell you both…”

The ceremony began with Rooster and Maverick walking down the aisle together, the biggest smiles on both their faces. Then came the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, arms linked. Then came Penny, already tearing up and sniffling her way down. Even so, she had a smile on her face that could light up a room.

Little Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw (because yes, his father and uncle had already come up with a call sign for him) was walking down the aisle right before the flower girl with the rings for his parents. Everyone looked at him with endeared looks on their faces, because no one could resist “aweing” at a child as cute as him. He proudly walked down that aisle, with a smile on his face and his tiny chest puffed out.

It was a mystery to the guests why the bride and her parents already seemed to have cried as they walked down the aisle, and a lot. But, the bride looked beautiful and not one eye was dry.

Though it was supposed to be Mr. and (almost) Mrs. Bradshaw’s day, Bradshaw Jr. stole the show with his complete awe and admiration towards his mother. He stood there with his little jaw hanging wide open, and everyone laughed. But when everyone was looking at him, Nick only had eyes for Y/n. She was sparkling, gleaming, floating down that aisle. She was an angel come down from heaven. She was perfect, even when se cried she was flawless and he couldn’t help but cry as soon as he saw her.

The wedding continued and then the vows came. And finally, the I dos.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may-” and the officiator was cut off, because Nick was already dipping his bride to kiss her.

Everyone cheered and the celebration began. 

One of the reasons they had decided to get married in the afternoon was so they could have the best lighting for pictures: golden hour. The photographer had spent all day trying to find the perfect spot for pictures because the goal was to capture both the plants and the beach in the background. The gardens were full of life, breathing and the plants were letting the sun bathe them in what looked like molten gold. The pictures began with only the couple in the frame, then with their son, and their parents and friends, etc. After about 30 minutes, they had gotten enough pictures to remember the day by, and everyone was going toward the large tent where the dance floor was and their tables, too.

“Alright, one more picture,” said the photographer. This time, it was just the newlyweds in the frame like they started. 

“Ok, I want you to face away from each other and I’ll let you know when you can turn around. That way we can get a picture where everything looks dynamic and lively. These kinds of shots are great to make the pictures look like they’re almost moving,” instructed the photographer, winking at the bride.

Y/n was smiling so wide that it was hard to hide from her husband, but she knew holding back would be worth it for the surprise she’d been planning all day.

Once Nick was facing away from his wife, y/n got down on one knee, carefully arranging her dress so it would get caught beneath her. Penny came running to hand her the supplied necessary for the surprise and then ran away as quickly as she came back.

“You can turn around now,” said the photographer.

Goose looked down in confusion at his wife.

“Didn’t we already do this, love?” he asked.

“Nick Bradshaw, will you honor me by being the most wonderful father in the universe one more time?”, asked y/n, the biggest smile on her face and handing him a positive pregnancy test and a baby onesie.

The photographer was clicking away on the camera and all of their family and friends were already gathering around, cheering.

“Of course I will, I do!”, he exclaimed, picking his wife up and kissing her. His face was filled with pure love and admiration, the feeling of pure excitement filling him as he imagined his growing family. Bradley came up to his parents, having to be explained that he would be a big brother in about 9 months :)

[fushigur0ll]

EUPHORIA; SEASON 2 EPISODE 6, breakdown!

spoilers ahead!! tw. nate, cassie, guns & cal

— i just wanna start off saying this episode..was like much of a filler but not at the same time, there was a lot going on but not enough to make me get confused.

— the rue, leslie, gia and ali interaction was definitely what i need to put a smile on my face and just distract my brain only from that scene alone, away from all the trouble with c*ssie and n*te.

— marsha or whatever her damn name is, n*te’s mom GOTTA GO! the way she was talking about how if maddy got pregnant and all that, she would have the baby because of spite..girl why are you talking about yourself? isn’t that the SAME thing you did with C*al? i don’t get it? at this point the entire family is for the garbage and the garbage alone.

— n*te…what can i even say about you? like you’re a fucking asshole but THIS? pointing a gun at maddy’s HEAD? and saying it’s a JOKE? everything is a joke to you man like holy shit, he needs to leave idc anymore.

— c*ssie…you’re absolutely for the garbage too because idk what to say after this episode AND THE TRAILER FOR EPISODE 7? wearing maddy’s necklace? dressing like maddy? YOURE STILL DOING THIS? some bullshit bro. both clowns belong together.

—where’s travis? remember that guy from the first episode of this season? MAKE A COMEBACK— AT LEAST PLEASE😭 OR EVEN IN SEASON 3, i know he would worship maddy😩

— speaking of maddy…babe i will give you so much kisses and hugs right now if i could..i love her so much it hurt me that she had a gun pointed to her head..that’s traumatizing and she’s already dealt with enough. i hike she gets the healing and love she needs for next episode or even in season 3☹️<3

— coming back to the bennett family and ali interaction😽 I LOVED HOW GIA WAS GETTING ASKED BY ALI HOW SHE FELT AND HOW SHE WAS!!! because i know she hasn’t been getting attention from her mom or from anyone due to rue and what has happened.

— no one should be getting at leslie because she’s been trying her best from the beginning. she has the patience for rue and is honestly doing all she can as a single parent. i praise her so much and have you no i ed this episode she had her hair down? LOOKING BEAUTIFUL AS EVER!

— update; i seen the trailer and cassie needs to go to the BIN IMMEDIATELY. fezco..the leaks are coming together man and the foreshadowing…idk bro i think it might happen I DONT WANT IT TO BUT HELL its coming to the point

[e-jaegerenthusiast]

aot boys kink hcs

here are some kink hcs i found written on a piece of paper during my super important class 🥴 fr i was sitting in class as my professor gives a lecture— instead of listening i zoned out and wrote different kinks/overall sexual things down and thought if eren, jean, and levi would be into them 🤞🏻

eren art by aidan.k_art on insta

levi cosplay _hakkencoser_ on insta

warnings/tw; like many many kinks 💀

would they let you choke them?

eren: yes. surprisingly, it’s the only dom-like thing he lets you do him. (other than ride him) he would love the thrill of his life in your hands :,) although it would take him a while to let you do it to him. he says it mid-sex, i’ve written something for it with eremika here ;)

jean: yes yes yes. he loves it so much, gets him whining and moaning

levi: i feel like he’s claustrophobic :( so he’ll let you put your hands around his neck, just don’t put in any pressure. the first time you did it was when you were riding him, you didn’t really think much of it as you put your hands around his neck, giving pressure with your fingers. suddenly his lust-filled droopy eyes turned into one of horror. pulling you off of him as he grabbed his own throat, coughing. you apologized so fucking much and hated yourself for it. he hugged you and told you it was okay, that he’s sorry but it brings him ptsd and makes him uneasy :(

choke you?

eren: surprisingly, no 😳 i feel like he would love to see his own purple fingerprints on your hips. however, he doesn’t like the bruises he leaves on your neck, he inspects them with a frown, kissing all of them and burying his head in your neck. once he chokes you, he feels animalistic. more than ever. its like he doesn’t trust himself to put your life that closely in his hands :(( so once he doesn’t do it anymore, you don’t ask him why. you know him. you know what goes on in his head.

jean: only if you ask him to, he’d be scared to apply too much pressure tho, so he’d do it lightly

levi: yesyesyes. i feel like levi would do all dom things to you mostly when he’s mad at something or at you. he’s the type to grab you by the neck and kiss you passionately. awooga

would they whine?

eren: very. very. very rare. only if somehow you’ve managed to take the upper hand.

jean: yessir. definitely. mommy kink all the way.

levi: mostly no. although he really really needs to. he wont let himself. mostly grunts. although he does when you’re sucking him off, he whimpers and tries to hide it, but you humming around his length throws him over the edge.

would they overstimulate you?

eren: all fuckinggg day. he doesn’t care if you can’t anymore. shaking? pffttt suck it up. literally

jean: only if he’s super horny. would do it if you want to.

levi: not really. he likes it when you overstimulate him 👀— doesn’t really ask you to, however you can obviously tell by the way he bucks up his hips into you or your hand even tho he just came.

their fave position?

eren: he absolutely loves spooning you, fucking into you as your warm back is pressed against his chest, your back arching and head going to his shoulder when he hits that special spot in you and kisses your neck. he can easily hit your g-spot in this postition, loves when you squirm against his chest. his hand holding you close. —he also loves the most weirdest positions omg- he likes bending you in ways that could almost break you like a pretzel - your thighs pressed against your chest, your legs at a wide angle resting on his shoulder—you must take yoga classes for this man he loves fucking you in the positions🥴 even upside down

jean: he loves loves loves when you ride him. he’s called a horse for a reason😩 also loves mirror sex. we know he can get cocky sometimes, so he loves fucking you infront of the mirror as he holds your jaw and forces your eyes on the mirror, fucking you hard. also is a sucker for passionate/slow missionary.

levi: doggy. fuck yes he loves it. or reverse cowgirl omf— loves the view sm. not that he doesn’t like to see your face in sex omg😭 it’s just- he prefers it that way cuz he kinda doesn’t want you to see him, in all his vulnerability. :,) its rare he lets you. but when he does omg- the image is burned into your memory, his face and the way it contorts into pleasure, his thin brows going up as his mouth is wide open— or he’s clenching his jaw.

would they agree to you handcuffing/tying them?

eren: no. he likes to be free LMAO i’m sorry

jean: yes. definitely. finds it so hot but still tugs on them so so much and begs you to untie him.

levi: won’t admit it but he loves it. eventually comes around. pounces on you like a wild dog when you untie him and fucks the shit out of you. grunting as he calls you a brat for tying him.

would they tie you up?

eren: 100% fucker loves to see you squirming.

jean: not really, he tries it out of curiosity but just doesn’t know what the fuck to do without your touch. likes it better the other way ‘round.

levi: yes. he would like to take revenge for you tying him up. would def torture and edge you a lot.

let you blindfold them?

eren: never. would like to see you and every single expression on your face.

jean: yes. loves it. makes him so so sensitive and he loves the thrill of not knowing where he’s gonna feel your touch.

levi: maybe. if you really beg him and annoy him for it.

blindfold you?

eren: yes yes yes do i even need to elaborate

jean: not really. same as tying you up, he would get too nervous and flustered and not know what to do.

levi: absolutely. he’d actually almost chuckle at how responsive you are to his touch. he’d literally just sit there for minutes, gliding his hands over all parts of your body, your arms, legs, thighs, stomach. loses sense of time as he plays with your body.

would they let you peg them?

eren: absolutely not. fucking scoffs and chuckles at you and mocks you when you suggest it.

jean: yes. with persuasion. he’s mostly open and experimental. would he end up liking it? maybe. he finds the feeling very weird at first, but asks you with a blush if you can do it again another time.

levi: no— thinks it’s disgusting.

anal?

eren: yes. yes. yes. would absolutely destroy you. loves the tight asf feeling.

jean: would try, doesn’t like it. makes him cum too fast 💀

levi: thinks it’s filthy.

breeding kink?

eren: yes. loves filling you up. doesn’t like baby talk tho— he hates kids 💀💀 is sorry but maybe eventually?

jean: likes to cum on your back, stomach, or tits more. however he loves the idea of having a family with you. definitely cums in you while baby talk + “you’d be such a good mommy.”

levi: he rarely cums in you, you’d have to beg him to or wrap your legs around his torso, then he can’t stop himself. doesn’t trust condoms or birth control. he’d say there’s still a chance of you getting pregnant 🥴— not that he doesn’t want a baby with you- not yet tho. he needs to warm up to the idea of becoming a dad. trauma n all yk.

jealous seggs?

eren: definitely. he’s possessive.

jean: definitely. he’s insecure :(

levi: yes but doesn’t admit it (surprise surprise) not a lot tho, he knows he has you wrapped around his finger. doesn’t really show his jealousy much. lets it eat away at him silently:/

lets you pull their hair?

eren: hell no. you do it anyway , he goes absolutely feral.

jean: yes. loves it so so much. also open to basically anything that makes you happy

levi: even tho he doesn’t like anyone touching his face or his hair, he warms up to it. likes the feeling of your hands in his hair. (also- mostly kiss his scars. he’ll actually cry. oop imma write a fic on that ✍🏻) he also loves loves loves when you shampoo his hair for him. gets him turned on. did y’all know thats an actual kink

would they spank you?

eren: definitely. more mid-fucking to see your reaction and the way you clench around him.

jean: likes to hold and squeeze your ass more as you ride him.

levi: oh fuck yeah. when you act like too much of a brat, he makes you go on all fours, or lay on your chest on his thighs, giving you spanks and making you count. talking to you after each spank, “will you be a brat again, huh?” spank, “you do it on purpose dont you? like to rile me up? hm? get me fucking mad like this?” another spank as he molds the flesh of your ass with his palm after each one, holding himself back from kissing the flesh.

face slapping?

already made drabbles for you slapping them

eren: yes yes yes. he would be a sucker for the innocent look in your eyes as tears swell up in them. he would do it repeatedly and keep bringing your jaw back to look at him after each slap.

jean: no, he doesn’t have it in his heart 🥺 would love if you did it to him.

levi: this is very difficult. i’ll leave it for you to decide between these two; 1. he doesn’t lay his hand on women. (spanking’s an exception in his book, other than that, hell no) 2. he only does it when he’s angry. like genuinely mad at you during sex, so that’s how he takes it out on you. but kisses you afterwards.

dacryphilia?

eren: hell yeah he loves when you cry for his cock, for him. this fucker does anything on purpose just to make you cry. gives a sadistic smile when tears finally come to your eyes.

jean: no, he wouldn’t wanna make you cry. although you do cry for his horse cock😩 he’d have a concerned expression on his face as he wipes you tears with his thumb, “what’s wrong ,baby?”

levi: absolutely not. literally despises crying. for himself and other. especially you. he’d wipe your tears as soon as they come when his dick is in your throat.

knife play?

eren: YES. he would purposely put a little pressure on the knife to scare you. this mfs a sadist. but he would be very careful to not hurt you. (if you ask why he would be into this but not choking you, it’s cuz with a knife, he knows he won’t actually fuckin stab you. he has control over the knife. his hands, he’s afraid not.) pain

jean: no omg— he would think you’re joking at first, his face forms the most horrid expression as he asks you if that’s an actual thing💀

levi: yes, he would never put pressure on the knife tho. he’d only glide it accross your body teasingly, the cold blade making you shiver under his touch as his eyes go dark. would like to do it to you when you’re blindfolded. doesn’t want you to see that dark look in his eyes.

blood play?

eren: yes. he likes to sometimes bite on your lower lip so hard it draws blood, he would keep kissing you, the iron-like taste not bothering him the slightest. it turns him on. also loves when you make him bleed by scratching your nails on his back, he throws his head back and fastens his thrusts 😩

jean: not really, my baby would get concerned— blood makes him uneasy 🥺

levi; absolutely not. too much ptsd and trauma from the sight of blood. doesn’t wanna see it painting your soft skin at all.

gun play?

eren: not really, he’s too violent to be handling a gun in sex.

jean: no—

levi: yes. he’d empty the gun beforehand tho, without you knowing.

candle wax 😳

eren: not really, he doesn’t like the redness it brings to your skin afterwards.

jean: likes if you do it on him, fucking loses it. he actually cries and whimpers, making you concerned but he nods his had swiftly, urging you to continue. likes the burn, reminds him of your touch, it’s not really any different from the burns your fingertips leave on him upon your touch.

levi: yes omfg- he loves it. he would also blindfold you for this one, probably tie you up too. loves to see you squirming in this situation. (omg i read this one fic on wattpad called “submit” and he was using candle wax and ice— AWOOGA)

ice play?

eren: yes yes yes, he’d run the ice down your stomach after rolling it on your nipples with his hands, he’d put it on your clit and chuckle as you squirm from the coldness of it. goes down on you to warm you up with his tongue afterwards.

jean: he likes it when you use it on him. holding the ice between your teeth as you run it over his nipples and down his chest. he’d be squirming and moaning.

levi: fuck yes. he’d put it in his mouth and kiss you with it, the ice melting between both of your tongues as he hums in your mouth. he’d also run it down your stomach and your nipples as he holds it in his mouth. the contrast of the cold ice and his warm tongue making you moan and whimper beneath him.

podophilia (foot fetish) dont read that as pedophilia uhm💀

eren: not really no, never crosses his mind.

jean: yes yes yes. omg absolutely this man having a foot fetish is canon to me😩 he’d love you giving him a foot job omf- would whine so much. also would kinda like licking your anckles and your toes as you giggle

levi: uhm. you must already know this clean freak. he thinks it’s fucking disgusting. i agree with him

ear fetish

eren: he likes it when you nibble on it or bite the shell of his ear. absolutely his weakest and sensitive spot

jean: not really idk why but no

levi: would nibble and tug on your ear as he’s fucking you, head burried in your neck as he pants and grunts.

food play?

eren: would loved to drizzle honey or whipped cream on you and lick it off your chest or stomach.

jean: would love for you too do it to him, with whipped cream or chocolate on his abs and chest, even his neck. he’d be a moaning, panting mess.

levi: does not like to involve food with sex 💀

chastity (holding back from sex to rile themselves or you up)

eren: hell no💀 he’s an impatient fuckin bastard. cannot handle going without fucking you for more than a couple days

jean: would love for you to do it to him. would beg you and plead as his cock throbs for days, though you know he likes it when you don’t give it to him instantly.

levi: yes yes yes. he would make himself go without sex for weeks. you have to beg him to stop and just let you fuck him, but he’d mutter sum about needing to “train his own stamina and self control, and your patience, brat.” but when you do break through him, trying to seduce him after weeks, it would be some of the best sex y’all have. going for rounds on rounds.

voyeurism

eren: as much as i love the “eren watching you fuck jean/reiner”— i think his possessive self will never ever let another man touch you. i mean cmon have u even read 139 🥲

jean: dont do that to him 🥺 he’s gonna be super insecure like omg- no

levi: absolutely not. do not test this man. he might not show his jealousy openly but you are his and only his.

role playing?

eren: i feel like he’s not that into it but he’d do it, he’s very picky so hmm maybe good cop and bad cop? 👀

jean: as i mentioned before, he’s very experimental and would do almost anything you ask of him, so yes. he’d be into doctor/patient ;) he likes it more when you’re the doctor but you can switch too oh my god bye now i’m thinking about jean in a white thingy doctors wear omf

levi: only captain/subordinate 😩😩😩

daddy kink

eren: not really, it makes him think about being an actual dad which turns him off 💀 sorry to crush yalls dreams 🤞🏻

jean: as i said, mommy kink. though he would like it if you addressed him as daddy while he takes control.

levi: no💀 finds it fucking weird. lowkey makes him sad n think about his dad and who he is or where he is he like being called captain sometimes tho ;)

degrading?

eren: fuck yes likes degrading you all the way. “look at you, my little slut.” “such a whore for my cock hm?”

jean: would like to be degraded 😁

levi: would keep it on the minimum— occasional “brat”s or “dumbass” jdjsjs nothing too intense. he has a way with his words :)

somnophilia sneaked this in at 200 when i forgot to add it cuz it’s my absolute fave kink

eren: he’d play with your body for minutes on minutes, loves to see you so responsive to his touch even in your sleep. he rubs slow circles on your clit, to get you wet. raises his brows when he notices you’re already soaked in your sleep. he literally fucks you awake. shoves his length in you balls deep as you scream and wake up— hitting his chest as he chuckles at you

jean: you’d both be asleep, until you wake up to the feeling of jean humping your thigh, whimpering in his slumber softly, you smirk. he’s chasing his high in his dream, mumbling your name as it’s barely recognizable. he wakes up to your mouth wrapped around him, cumming so fast as soon as he realizes he’s awake.

levi: he barely gets any sleep. but as he’s laying down next to you, head buried in his book while you’re stuck to him like a koala, he’s content. having one arm wrapped around your body and hand stopping at your waist. he’s brought out of the focus of his book by you moving against him. at first he thinks you’re waking up for some reason, then is proved wrong when you’re repeatedly grinding against his thigh, your leg wrapped around it. he chuckles, catching himself off guard. he watches as you hum in your sleep and say his name. he starts slowly meeting your grinds against his thigh, shaking it. he’s now rock hard in his shorts, teasing your hole through your panties with the hands on your back. you end up cumming in your sleep, he cums in his pants. fuck.

••••••••••

© all content belongs to e-jaegerenthusiast, do not repost or copy any of my work

and there we have it— sorry if i left anything out- these are all the kinks i could think of for now 🥴

also ik i usually write hcs for aot and jjk boys but with this one, i kinda felt like only doing aot. since the paper i found had these 3 boys written on it 🤪