#this is about physical disability. please don't derail it

[spookietrex]

I hate the look on able-bodied people's faces when you can't do a thing that you could do the day before. The look of disappointment, confusion, the "Oh but you could do it before. Are you SURE you can't do it?" Like yes, Brenda, I'm sure that I am in too much pain to function/move from my bed right now so going for a walk when I could move 50 feet yesterday without my cane IS too much.

[hellyeahsickaf]

When I say "I can't do that" what I'm not saying is:

I don't feel interested in doing that

I don't care enough to

I'm too good to be doing that

I don't think you deserve that of me

I'm not in the mood to do that

Not now, I'll do it later

Maybe

If that's what I meant, that's what I would say

What I am saying is:

It will negatively affect me in ways I can't afford

I simply can't physically fucking do that

I can't risk the potentially severe consequences I may experience if I overestimate my ability to do that

And if I explain that I am unable to do that, it is not an invitation to:

Tell me how much my disability hurts your feelings

Ask if I'm sure

Interrogate me because you believe yourself to be the judge of how unwell is unwell enough

Put words in my mouth ("why don't you care?")

Tell me how easy it would be

Remind me of how many other things I've been unable to do. I keep the score more than you do

Accuse me of exaggerating or faking to avoid doing it

Ask me again shortly

Make assumptions about additional explanations. (I must be mad at you, I must not care about this)

Offer compensation in return ("I can pay you" "we can do something you want to do after" "I'll get you something you like")

Ask what it would take for me to suddenly be capable of doing it

Tell me how you do things you have to do when when you're tired and then you can just rest and recover. I am not like you

Remind me of a time I was able to do that. Either I had more spoons or was less severely disabled if at all.

Say that if I was well enough to do X today, I should be able to do this as well. Energy doesn't work that way. Are you capable of running 8 miles right this minute just because you were okay to work a 10 hour shift today? That's what I thought

Suggest simply doing it a certain way ("take your time", "do it sitting down", "we can stop and take breaks", "just take your painkillers", etc)

But it is an invitation to:

Leave me the fuck alone about it 💕

[thedisablednaturalist]

How to not derail a physically disabled person's post -guide for abled neurodivergents

Hey this is a huge problem and a ton of my and other peoples posts about physical disabilities have been getting overrun with comments making it about mental illness and completely derailing the post.

Here's some things to think about before adding a comment/reply onto a physically disabled person's post:

Is the person talking about disabilities in general? Or are they only talking about physical disabilities?

Do they say specifically that neurodivergent people are welcome to comment? Or do they have a banner or tag that says DO NOT DERAIL

Check the comments and reblogs that are currently there. Are they already overrun with people making the same points you are? Are physically disabled voices getting drowned out?

Is the post tagged with cripplepunk only? (Aka not neuropunk or madpunk)

What is your addition adding to the conversation? How is it related to the original post? Is it shifting the conversation or generalizing it?

Did you actually read and internalize the post or did you only focus on adding your point of view.

Who is the intended audience for the post? Is it you? Are you listening or arguing?

Are you using their language for yourself?

Could the addition stand on its own as a separate post? (If so it probably should)

Think about how you would feel if someone did that to your post and everyone only talked about their problems and ignored your original statement. Think about how angry you'd be if they then said "you're not allowed to get mad cuz I said I wasn't derailing! I love you people!"

Also these questions can and should apply to other posts made by people who are frequently talked over (people of color, fat people, etc.) No your adhd autism does not count. There is a long history on this site of neurodivergent people talking over and taking over entire disability spaces and the problem persists today. This problem is why cripplepunk was created in the first place.

Yes mental illness deserves to be talked about. I'm proudly neurodivergent and often reblog posts from neurodivergent blogs. But you are able to make your own posts, you don't need to take over ours, especially when we are specifically pointing out how our physical disabilities differ from mental disabilities.

Also respect when someone asks you to please delete your addition. Mistakes happen what matters is how you respond to them. Learn from it and move on. Don't cry about the meanie cripples "censoring" you.

[thatgaydemigodnerd]

Happy disability pride month to all my physically disabled people! Wether you:

Are chronically ill

Are in chronic pain

Have reduced mobility

Need a wheelchair for whatever reason

Wish you had a wheelchair but can't get one

Have a tremor

Are a spoonie

Have reduced visibility or are blind

Have reduced hearing or are deaf/Deaf

Have an autoimmune disorder

Have a skin condition

Have something else physically wrong with you but you just can't figure out what

Have some other kind of physical disability that I didn't think of/add here (feel free to put in the tags if you are comfortable doing so)

Don't let the world forget about us this July! We are here, we aren't going away any time soon!

[image ID: the updated disability pride flag. A dark grey background with 5 stripes on it, going diagonally from the top left corner to the bottom right corner. From top to bottom the stripes are coloured: green, blue, white, yellow, red. End ID]

(yes, mentally disabled people also fall under disability pride month but this post is meant to celebrate physically disabled people, please don't derail)

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

hey ablebodied people please teach your children not to swerve in front of mobility aid users. We might accidentally hurt them (my power wheelchair does not stop quickly and the bones in your child's foot are small and breakable) or they might accidentally hurt us (someone who's already having trouble balancing is likely to fall if they have to stop short). You don't have to teach them everything about physically disabled people but these are basic safety things that can make the difference between a cordial interaction and 1-2 very injured people. This also goes for touching mobility aids without permission, we may not notice the child or they may do something harmful before we can stop them.

[image ID: a banner that says "this post is about physical disability, don't derail" on the first line and "physically ableds don't speak including talking in tags" on the second line].

[prettyboychik]

ur allowed to be sad/angry/scared/frustrated/bitter/etc about your physical disability btw. About not being able to do stuff u once could. About pain, fatigue, brain fog, other symptoms getting worse. About the loss.

U dont have to be an inspiration or be Tough about it all the time or even ever. Ur allowed to feel what u feel. Don't have to buy into "blessing in disguise" narrative. Don't have to go "well I'm not me without it" if thats not ur reality/experience. It's allowed to just suck and ur allowed to not want it and wish you didn't have it and wish there was a cure. Ur allowed to hate it and ur allowed to feel trapped in ur body.

You don't have to shut those feelings away and deny they exist just bc it's not how you "should be feeling".

[This is about physical disabilities specifically. If it resonates w/ u about a non physical disability that's great but please don't derail. Thank you 💛]

[vaspider]

when a post is talking about access to public spaces and then halfway through stops to scold people about 'not derailing' if you are 'physically abled' like "non-physical" (lol no such thing) disabilities don't have physical access needs too

please suck my cock, i am so sick of people playing division in the disability community

[peachteaships]

Okay, I have some gripes about the self ship community. I need to get off my chest. This is a long one. Do not derail this, I will block you. Pro.ship and com.ship DO NOT try to interact with this post, I will block you too. I do not have the patience for this today.

Rant/gripes under the read more.

I'm probably going to get shit for this or something, but I'm getting exhausted over this. The self ship community didn't used to be so scary and hateful. What the hell happened?? What happened to being understanding and kind to others who didn't feel comfortable sharing f/os or having doubles? Why the fuck are we dealing with people spreading lies, causing drama and pulling shit because they're mad someone doesn't want to share? Or causing shit because you end up finding out you share with someone, but instead of blocking them and moving on, you start shti instead? You go out of your way to attack them, harass them, give them trauma and make them feel unwelcome all because you couldn't stand the thought of someone else sharing an f/o instead of using the block button and the black list function that are right there. All because you couldn't respect someone's boundaries.

Why the hell are we being racist or ableist to each other for no other reason besides "I don't like them"? That doesn't give you the right to be cruel to someone because they're a different race or have a mental or physical disability they can not control. There's never an excuse to be out here being so hateful to someone because you feel like you're allowed to say a word or term that you have no right saying or reclaiming just because you want to drag someone down.

And then there are people who question if others' sexualites are valid or not because of the gender of fictional characters they're interested in??? When the hell did we decide that was a "good" idea to do any of this?? Then you have the audacity to claim they aren't valid enough to be considered their own sexuality or gender because they're not good enough for you? Why the hell would you think this is okay?? Does it make you feel better about yourself?? Because it shouldn't. And if it does? You need to take a moment and ask yourself why.

And don't even get me started on the fact that we have to deal with so many pro.shippers and com.shippers in this community. Especially ones that try to lie about it, hide it, and disrespect other's boundaries. We already have to deal with enough toxic bullshit in this community enough as it is, and now we have to deal with these people as well.

It's already hard enough to thrive and grow in this community enough as it is due to the whole fact that unless you're popular or ship with a popular character or have a more appealing and attractive art style compared to others, you don't get much interactions at all. It's a struggle enough in this community for small blogs. We don't need to add on all of this hate to it.

All of this is exhausting and frustrating. I remember when it used to be fun and welcoming, and when we tried to uplift each other, give each other a boost and respected other people's wishes and boundaries. What the hell happened?? When did this all change?? If you're uncomfortable sharing, you're valid, but please don't be so rude and disrespectful to others over it. The block button and the black list function are available to us. It applies to basically everything. Someone rubs you the wrong way, or you don't want to interact with them? Block them. You don't like a person? Block them. Don't like a ship that involves a character you don't like? Black list the tag. It's that simple. I really wish we didn't have all of this hatred happening right now. I really wish this community wasn't so scary and cause so much anxiety for people. Self shipping is supposed to be about having fun and for your own comfort. What happened? What happened to this community?? We need to fix this. People have left the community because of all of this or have been driven out by others over this. This has to stop. We have to do something. I know I myself am just one person, and I'm just a small blog, but it doesn't mean I can't use my voice to an extent.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for taking a moment to listen. Hopefully, this community will improve soon.

Have a good day.

[winterandwords]

For the writers living with chronic illness and physical disability

I'm going to get into writing and posting this while my brain is still half asleep and before I change my mind because it feels too personal and I don't do that online. Please excuse any typos.

Comments on a recent post of mine about wanting to write but not being able to got me thinking. I'm chronically ill and physically disabled. I have been for most of my adult life (I'm 42 now). It's been progressing slowly throughout that time and more rapidly over the last few years. It is what it is.

I don't talk about it in detail on the internet because it's impossible for me (not saying other people can't do this) to accurately represent the full experience in a way I feel comfortable with while still engaging enjoyably with an interest-based community, which is what I'd rather be doing here.

Also, people get fucking weird about it. I have no patience for *pat on the head* "well done for existing" consolation-prize pity bullshit or inspirational cripple bullshit. Equally, I have no patience for being dragged into a who-has-it-worse competition that I'm never going to take part in because I don't see the world that way or a what-about-me-ism-fuelled derailment session.

This shit is complicated. I'm on Tumblr to write and to talk about writing. But if I'm also quietly dealing with all that other stuff alongside making up some guys (gender non-specific) in my head and putting them in situations, I know some of you are too.

And you know what? It's hard. I know it is. We live in an inaccessible world and so many parts of that world and so many people in it can be brutally hostile towards chronic illness and physical disability in ways that still shake me to my core when I encounter them. It no longer surprises me, but it still fucks me up on the regular.

But listen. YOU ARE CREATING. You're doing something huge and worthy and valuable and fucking difficult. You're carrying the weight of all that other shit and YOU ARE STILL CREATING. It might take you longer than you'd like and you might be doing it in ways that are far from ideal, but you are still doing it.

You might feel excluded from communities and events and conversations, not necessarily because anyone is intentionally excluding you, but because you have no option other than to do the sick-person version of things and it's impossible not to feel like you're on the outside looking in sometimes when that's your experience.

The point of all this is that I want you to know with my whole heart that YOU ARE SEEN. Your strength and your determination and your sadness and your rage and your pain and your more-able days and your rock-bottom days are all seen.

Your challenges and your messiness and your perfectionism and your complexity and your dichotomies and the unrealistic standards and demands you have internalised from existing in an ableist society are witnessed and felt, widely and deeply, and with a solidarity unshakable enough to hang bridges from.

I'm not going to tell you that you're good enough, because it should go without saying. I am going to tell you that you're not alone, because that does need to be said. You are so much more than a conditionally-acceptable exception and you deserve to reach and exist beyond the boundaries of the small boxes you get shoved into without your consent or permission. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE.

Alright? Alright. Keep going 💜

In case this gains any sort of traction and people start replying to it or reblogging it, I want to make something very clear. I am also neurodivergent. That is not what this post is about. I also have lifelong experience of mental illness and trauma. That is not what this post is about. This post is about chronic illness and physical disability and it's for people who are living with those specific things, whether or not they're also living with the other things.

So, in the most loving way, if you have something to say that isn't about that, this isn't the place to say it. Thanks.

[oblivious-flesh]

hey in case anyone needs this:

your pain doesn't have to be at high levels constantly to be valid. Chronic pain is classified as "pain lasting over three months." I don't fully agree with this definition, but it supports the fact that your pain doesn't always have to be super bad to be chronic!!!

Any level of pain, if long-term, is considered chronic pain!!! For example, I have chronic pain, but most days it's at like a 1-3 when sitting or laying down and not moving my joints, and like a 3-5 when standing or walking!! You don't always have to be in like level 7-10 pain for your pain to be valid!!!

Obviously, I'm not trying to say that people who are always in extremely high levels of pain aren't valid, or that they don't need support. I'm just saying that it's ok to not be in super high levels of pain constantly and that it doesn't mean you aren't 'disabled enough'!!

this post is about physical disability, please don't derail it

[cripple-punk-dad]

I smell bad. I don't shower that often. My breath stinks. My hair is greasy and crunchy and I definitely have dandruff. I have a hard time putting deodorant on. I can't wash my clothes that often. I get really sweaty sitting in a wheelchair all day and I do not look clean or put together or sophisticated and frankly I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't owe a world that wants me dead, a world that prevents me from entering a building just by forgetting about me, a world that points and laughs at me, I don't owe that world a damn thing and if that world loved me at all then it wouldn't ask me to hide my struggle and my identity from it.

This post is about physical disability please don't derail it.

[yrfemmehusband]

This post is about physical illness physical disability please don't derail

Me vs being consistently retraumatized in literally every single fucking appointment i go to me vs getting literally one singular fucking doctor to listen to me oh my god I cannot stand doctors. Literally every single doctor I've been to with maybe two exceptions has done nothing but gaslit me and made it difficult for me to get care. It doesn't matter who they are what practice it does not matter if they're a man or woman cishet or LGBT with pronouns on their website, it doesn't matter if they're "trauma informed" or have never heard of the term. They are all the same. They all make it their goal to be as much of an obstacle to receiving care as possible. They refuse to listen because they're so much smarter than any patient that walks through the door and simultaneously expect you to have googled your symptoms and to have an idea of what tests you want and also if you've done that then you're Malingering or you're called doctor Google or made fun of for thinking you could possibly do their job (diagnosing you.) If you have any issue worse than the common cold they'll slap you with an anxiety diagnosis or a "we don't know what causes it" disorder. If you ask for more tests than one singular blood panel they'll laugh and ask why. If you ask what your options for treatment are they'll tell you to lose weight and exercise, and also here are some antidepressants. They'll tell you to come back if symptoms continue or worsen and act surprised when you do, because the symptoms continued and worsened. It doesn't matter how you look, how nice you are, how sick you feel, how much pain you're in. Their goal is to get your money and get you out. I have never met a doctor who wasn't blinded by their own ego and most people who think doctors are there to help you have never been sick with anything long term.

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think what trips people up in the neurodivergent vs. physically disabled discourse is that you can't treat disabilities the same way as you treat LGBTQ+ identities. The goal for LGBTQ+ identities if for us all to one day be equal to cishet+ people. Someones gender identity or sexuality or race will not make them inherently more privileged or oppressed eventually. But with illnesses it's different.

I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user. I am disabled, but someone who is paralyzed is less privileged than me even though we both use wheelchairs and are disabled. For example, if I reach an area that is inaccessible, I can stand up and go around or remove the obstacle. It is not as easy for someone who is a full time wheelchair user. But we are still both disabled. Someone who has only ADHD and no physical disabilities is more privileged than someone with physical disabilities. Both people are disabled. However if the building is burning down, one person can take the stairs and escape and one person has to wait for rescue. And for the foreseeable future, unless there comes a day that prosthetics and medicine become so advanced there are no longer any negative aspects of disability (pain, illness, mobility, mental state), this will be the case.

And instead of trying to burst into the paraplegic support group and whine at them and throw a fit that they aren't talking about ME, I use my privilege to advocate for more accessibility in my town and at my college campus. Not that they aren't able to, but being able to mask my disability has put me in sort of a medium between abled people and the disabled community. I've been able to help so I do.

I am physically disabled, so I consider myself part of the cripplepunk community. I can do this because people look at me and label me as a cripple. People don't look at a mentally ill/neurodivergent person and do that. There are other descriptors used for neurodivergents if you would like to reclaim one of them.

Also, I consider myself neurodivergent as well. Some of you don't consider that people can be physically disabled AND neurodivergent. The barriers I faced with my neurodivergence and the barriers I faced with my physical disability are worlds apart. Both are challenging, but my physical disability has been harder. Does that mean I should ignore my neurodivergence? Does that mean neurodivergents should no longer be supported? Of course not! But in many cases, especially in modern times, mental health has made a ton of progress but it's left us physically disabled peeps behind. So please stop talking over physically disabled and chronically ill people and derailing the little support we get for yourselves. You aren't a cripple and you don't need to be one to be a part of the larger disabled community. You don't need to be a cripple to get support. In our society it's the opposite. We get left behind, ignored, our lives ripped from us. And yea, neurodivergents have this happen to them too but please understand that our pain has continued while neurodivergence is becoming more accepted.

I was able to get on meds so easily. I was screened for depression at my school. There were problems with this of course but they actually tried to seek out depressed kids and help them (even if it caused issues). Yes it costs money. Yes it may be harder outside of the states (or easier idk). But the same shit happens to us cripples as well and our mobility devices cost THOUSANDS out of pocket while meds cost hundreds at the most. My psychiatrist gave me a Zoloft prescription my first appointment and my rheumatologist laughed at me for wanting a walker.

We are tired and we are mad. We have a right to be angry at the mistreatment we've suffered. It's incredibly insulting to dismiss that pain. It's what our doctors do to us, our parents, our friends, our communities. Stop tearing us down to push yourselves further forward. If you truly want to get rid of any division in our community, help bring us up to your level instead of throwing a tantrum about the meanie cripples not letting you take our word that doesn't even fit you. It's insulting to want a word so bad that would never be thrown at you in the first place. It's like a cis binary queer person crying that they can't use the word tranny for themselves.

Please try to understand our pain and educate yourselves about history and experiences outside of your own diagnosis. Don't assume we have it easier because you see us. Most people don't.

[frankiensteinsmonster]

I made a poll for blind and low sighted people and some abled folks wanted to talk about how some people who use alt texts aren't/might not be disabled and still benefit. And it's fine that they do but I. Did not ask them and will not be catering to them. My blog is not the space to talk about how abled people might/also benefit from anything regarding disabled people. My priority is always the disabled people who need the function. Those are the people who matter most here! (But now I'm just a little curious.)

They have to deal with shit like screen readers. Y'all don't. I want Them to have a better time navigating my blog.

This post is about, by, and for disabled people, do not derail, and if you are abled please just vote and/or reblog. Don't make this about yourself or other able bodied people. You do not know better than the people who are affected by this.

[rachedurst]

Shout-out to those of us who use disability aids that ARENT easily visible, that are hidden underneath hair or clothes and have people demand you need to show them your devices else they claim you're lying! That want you to take off your devices because Theyre Not Necessary Right and electronic devices Aren't Allowed In Here or whatever else. Those of us with physical disabilities who just get told we're lying because our devices Aren't clearly visible or smth they know. (Don't worry I know bigots do fakeclaiming with visible disability devices too. Please do not derail or act like visibly disabled people have it easier bcs they don't)

There's a lot of focus on visible disability aids getting negative attention and thats important as well, but heres this post for the not noticeable ones that don't get talked about a lot :) we are out here....

[crippledasinfuckyou]

Hi there! I decided to make a blog surrounding life with disabilities and challenging ableism, as it's something I post about and share posts about fairly often.

Let me introduce myself:

My name is Stevie, I'm 21 and I use he/him pronouns. I use the word queer to describe myself in terms of both gender and sexuality.

I'm both physically disabled and neurodivergent. I identify as crippled.

I rely mostly on a cane to get around, and sometimes use a wheelchair. I'm often housebound.

My disabilities include hypermobility spectrum disorder, degenerative disc disease, scoliosis and fairly bad asthma. There are others but most I'm waiting on diagnosis for and doctors are never helpful when it comes to chronic illness.

I may reblog posts about neurodivergencies or mental disabilities, and I may crosspost ones I come across elsewhere. I will NOT be making my own. My purpose on this blog is to educate and vent about ableism towards the physically disabled, as I personally experience that much more regularly than ableism due to neurodivergency, and would feel like I'm talking over people to talk about ableism not directed at the physically disabled. No, this does not mean I want to exclude you. It does not mean I think you are not disabled. It means it's not within my remit to discuss this ableism, and would rather leave that to people who know what they're talking about. If you wish to suggest otherwise or are upset about this then go make your own blog and your own posts.

Able bodied people are welcome to follow but PLEASE do not leave terrible comments on my posts or posts I reblog. You embarrass yourself and me by doing so. Consider the consequences of your words and whether they speak over disabled people. This applies to nd people too. Not everything is about you and physically disabled people are entitled to talk about what they face and have a space in which they can do so. I will block anyone leaving shitty or derailing comments on any post on this blog, mine or reblogged.

Please don't ask me if you're disabled.

It's one of those things where if you're sitting there like "is it bad enough to be a disability", swap those first two words. It's not my place to decide if you're disabled, it's yours. If you think you might be, then go for it. Disability is not black and white ❤️

I don't always have the spoons to answer asks but I get to them as quick as I can