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#this is actually so fucking insane
spamgyu · 7 months
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may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become gasoline in the car that took his mom to the hospital to give birth to him.
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backpackingspace · 2 months
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okay so post epic odyssey where odysseus and Penelope have surfaced from their room finally and he and diomedes are catching up I'm imagining the conversation going something like this
Odysseus: so then I gave up being merciful and became the monster.
Diomedes:....you tried being merciful?
Odysseus: Yes?
Diomedes: you did? You tried being a good merciful person? You?
Odysseus: Yah okay fuck off it was polties dying wish. I had to try.
Diomedes:.....90% of the war crimes in the Trojan war were suggested, planned out, and carried out by you. We literally stoned to death the guy you had a personal grudge against. We framed him for treason and stoned him to death. 70% of why Athena liked you was because she thought she knew all the ways to kill someone and then you'd suggest something insane and I'd see her taking notes. You literally gave Ajex a psyoctic break just being yourself.
Odysseus: shut up
Diomedes: I'm not wrong. Did you tell Penelope about your attempt to be a good person?
Odysseus: What? Of course I did. I told her everything.
Diomedes: did she laugh?
Odysseus:...shut up that's not the point
Diomedes: she did didn't she!!!
Odysseus: ANYWAY eurylochus wasn't appreciative of my return to monsterhood and he started causing problems so I
Diomedes: killed him? Yah saw that coming. No shit. I'm so shocked.
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shefinallyrose · 11 months
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1.586M NO FUCKING WAY?!?! SURPASSING MIDNIGHTS?!?! A RE-RECORDING DOING THIS?!?! WITH NO PROMO?!?! HOLY SHIT?!?!
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lotus-pear · 7 months
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lore accurate teen soukoku. the worsties ever
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pa-pa-plasma · 4 months
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love fics where Danny ends up in the DC universe & every alarm goes off at once & the magic users are like "yeah that's the most powerful being in the universe & also possibly super evil we are FUCKED fucked" & the Justice League is freaking tf out trying to find this thing that casually tore a hole in reality & it just cuts to Danny (Fenton) standing in the background blissfully unaware & like "man my life sucks but at least i have this candy bar—" *drops it in a puddle*
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splatbastards · 4 months
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what if sea critters were GAY and AUTISTIC or some shit...
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saragrosie · 2 months
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As promised, incredibly stupid s4-5 drawings
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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shower-phantom-ideas · 11 months
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Bruh emotional support ghost kid? Well thats what they are calling him
Suicide cases in gothem are about to fucking plummet boiz cause this one weird blue eyes, black haired boy is now heading to your location.
How does he know where to be? Having a bad day and are all alone? No the fuck your not cause don’t turn around now but theres some shiny blue eyes coming at you from that dark ally. Oh shit hes here to drop some information about you and your lost loved ones that he should know. Oh god the closure. How could you have been afraid on this sweet, creepy, boy who just helped you find your way.
Meanwhile Danny is chillin in Gothem cause the GIW hate it there (none of they equipment actually functions in Gothem so it’s either super haunted or actually not haunted at all). Then all of a sudden he gets approached by a random ghost begging for his help because their sweet baby girl is about to do something horrible. Oops now all the ghosts are following their most loved ones around just to make sure they are there to rush to Danny for help when all else fails. Now hes getting to fulfil his protection obsession double time because one hes helping protect people from themselves and two hes protecting everyone in Gothem by stopping people from becoming villains for revenge. Plus he gets to see first hand how hes making a difference because all those people he saved are sending him some good vibes from all across Gothem.
Thank god he followed Jazz around so much to slightly absorb some of her phycology knowledge over the years. Plus it was actually pretty interesting so she gave him her old text books. Shes also helping him deal with the rare events where he can’t save someone. Just a moment too late or he stops them but they later succeeded in the hospital. Neither are his fault. Now only if he could convince his core of that.
Anyway why Gothem you ask? Amity Park would have been just as good tbh but imagine Batmans face when he finally gets to be face to face with the emotional support ghost boy. Why is he here? Bruce is fine. Batman is fine. Hes not gonna do anything crazy. It’s just a hard time of year. Around their death always gives him grief. But hes an adult and can manage it.
“You know they are so proud of you.” The boy states. As if it’s clear as day, even though it’s Gothem and never a clear day. Batman blinks at him, stunned for a moment. “What?” This boy can’t possibly know that. No one will ever know that, Bruce can only hope. “They see their home, full of such life. That big house that felt so empty, so cold, to them as well for years. Then you filled it with Family and Love like they had always wanted for you. They are so proud of what you have turned it into. Somewhere full of life and warmth.” A small smile graces his face as finally “you have made your parents so proud” and its all he can do to contain himself. Emotions are running high and sue him because he really did need to hear that ok. The boy suddenly looks to Bruces right with a confused face “aren’t all basements like that though?” Before Bruce can even get a word in hes gone. Just vanished before his eyes.
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stormjay0 · 3 months
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I haven’t belly laughed at a YouTube video in a long time but CHRIST was the Cleo/Doc case hilarious
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bluehoodedmousebane · 1 month
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Started playing Halo 3! Nobody told me about the flood stalkers. GIRL HELP.
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estrellami-1 · 3 months
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Steddie Week 2024
July 5th Prompt: Reunion
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 6 | Day 7
@steddie-week
“Babe,” Eddie calls from the kitchen. Steve’s in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, so he garbles out an unintelligible one minute! before quickly finishing.
He walks into the kitchen, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “What’s up?”
Eddie’s eyes are dancing with mirth as he helps Steve fix his collar. “You’ll never guess what just came in the mail.”
Steve raises a brow. “You’re acting like my parents are groveling at the door right now.”
Eddie barks out a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart, no. I’d very much be laughing in their faces if that’s what was happening.” He grabs Steve’s glasses from the counter he’d forgotten them on last night, unfolds them, and carefully slides them on Steve’s face. “No migraines,” he murmurs, and Steve’s hit with a rush of love so big he just has to tell Eddie.
“I love you.”
Eddie smiles softly; a small, disbelieving, hopeful thing that’s never changed from the first time Steve said it. “And I, my love,” he murmurs back. “But no, it’s not your parents.” His grin grows into a giggle. “It’s fuckin’ Hawkins High.”
Steve makes a face. “It’s still standing?”
Eddie snorts. “Apparently-fucking-ly.” He grabs two letters; one with Steve’s name, one with Eddie’s. “One letter for each of us. I already opened mine. It’s a reunion.”
Steve furrows his brows, rips into the envelope, pulls the paper out. “Hawkins High School… forty-year reunion… de-” he frowns up at Eddie. “Decennial?”
Eddie hums, nods. “Every ten years. God knows where our other ones went.”
Steve hums. “Guess we can throw these in the trash, huh?”
Eddie shifts. “You don’t want to go?”
Steve stares at him incredulously. “You do? You, Eddie Munson, want to go back to the place where—and these are your words, here—apart from our group of friends, only the- the backwoods of inbreeding resides?”
Eddie cackles. “Oh yeah, I did say that, didn’t I?” He’s delighted. Steve’s finding it hard not to smile in the face of that joy.
“So you want to go back?”
Eddie shrugs. “Think about it,” he requests. “I don’t want to go to see how anyone else is doing. Frankly, I don’t have the time to give two shits about them. But you know I’ll always jump at the chance to show you off.”
Steve raises both eyebrows this time. “You want to show me off? In fucking Hawkins?”
Eddie deflates. “You don’t want to go.”
Steve shakes his head. “No, babe, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that even though it’s legal, even though we’re officially married now, if there’s one place that isn’t gonna be accepting…” he trails off, lets Eddie finish the thought for himself.
“What if I convince Nancy to come?”
“Well, she’ll have to come if we go, won’t she? Cause you know she’ll go anywhere Robin does, and Robin’s gonna follow me, so…”
Eddie snickers. “Okay, yeah, fair enough. But babe, we’ll have Nancy and Robin on our side. The three of you took on Vecna, I think you can take on some overweight, washed-up, balding fifty-something-year-old.” He squeezes at Steve’s biceps, and Steve tries not to preen.
He’s proud of the care he’s shown his body, he’s proud of the way he looks, he’s proud that Eddie likes the way he looks. He can feel his resolve waning, is about to tell Eddie fuck it, let’s go, when his phone rings.
He pats his pockets, looks around for it. “Room,” Eddie supplies, and Steve gratefully peck his cheek before jogging to their room, where it’s laying on his nightstand. Eddie walks in as he answers it, having followed at a more sedate pace. “Hello?”
“Are you going to the reunion?”
“Hey, Robbie,” Steve chuckles, meets Eddie’s eyes. “Yeah, we are.”
“Yes!” She cheers. “You’re the best, we’re getting joint hotel rooms, right?”
He laughs and sits on the edge of the bed. “It’s Hawkins, Robs, I don’t think it has anything quite that fancy.”
Robin groans, loud and long enough that both Steve and Eddie have to stifle their giggles. “But I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“It’s been barely a week, Robbie.”
“That’s what I said!”
He relents. “I know. I miss you too. We’ll see you there?”
“Yeah,” she agrees, and hangs up.
Steve looks at Eddie, amused. “I guess we’d better pack. And you should tell the guys, don’t you have something going on that day?”
“Oh, shit,” Eddie says, and runs to the living room for his phone.
Steve surveys their room and sighs. He calls out to Eddie, “bring me a notepad on your way back, please!”
Eddie does, so he sets to work making a list for everything they need to pack while Eddie types away, postponing his plans.
While they might not get joint hotel rooms, Steve, Eddie, Robin, and Nancy are carpooling back to Hawkins in Robin’s van. She’s driving, Nancy’s in the passenger seat, Steve’s right behind Robin and Eddie’s right behind Nancy. Their luggage is piled precariously in the back, meaning every time Robin turns, the luggage slides from one side of the van to the other. Steve, with his mostly-undiagnosed OCD, flinches every time. And every time, Eddie pats his hand.
Besides the shifting suitcases, it’s a nice ride, even if Steve does grab Eddie’s hand and squeeze, just a hair tightly, whenever they pass the Welcome to Hawkins! sign.
Everyone gets a little quiet, after that. Robin fumbles with the radio, and Eddie perks up. “This song,” he says, practically bouncing in his seat.
Steve snorts. “Iron Maiden,” he tells her.
“The fact that you know that-”
“It gets worse,” he tells her, grinning. “The song is called Wasted Years. I know all the words.”
Robin grins, turns the volume up.
The joke’s really on her, though, because she’s always been good at music, patterns, and she’s singing the chorus with him and Eddie by the time they get to the end of the song, Nancy laughing at them. “So understand,” they sing, Robin glancing in the rearview mirror, Steve looking from her to Eddie and back again. “Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years. Face up, make this stand. And realize you’re living in the golden years!”
Steve and Eddie are practically screaming it at each other by the last line. Robin’s given up to join Nancy in laughing at them. Steve joins in as Eddie plays air guitar to the end of the song, collapsing in a laugh when it’s finally over.
“Okay,” Eddie says, grinning. “I think I could take on anything now.”
“Yeah?” Nancy asks, pointing ahead. “You’re ready for the reunion?”
They’d decided, since the last time they took a proper road trip had been too many years ago, they could do it the same day as the reunion.
They’d forgotten how getting old, coupled with the problems every one of them still has from the Upside Down, means they’re all very much sore from sitting in a car for upwards of five hours.
The plan was drive the five-something hours, go to the reunion, crash in the hotel, and drive back home the next day.
Steve hates the plan now and wants to go to the hotel to rest like the old man he’s letting himself be.
However unfortunate it may be, the reunion is today, which means Steve gets to suck it up, say hi to people he probably doesn’t even remember anymore, and then leave.
He hops out of the car and stretches a little, laughing when Eddie attempts the same hop out of the car and almost eats asphalt. “Dumbass,” he mutters. Eddie shoots him a Cheshire grin.
Before long they’re ready to walk inside. Steve takes a breath as he passes through the doors. The hallways are the same, but the lockers are new. It still smells like teenagers and feet, he notices, wrinkling his nose. The things you’ll get nose-blind to, he supposes.
The letters they’d gotten said the reunion was to be held in the gym, so that’s where they head.
Steve didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a few snack tables along the edge of the room and a single Reunion of ‘85 banner. “Goddamn,” Eddie says from beside him, “depressing much?”
Steve snorts in agreement and walks over to the drink table. If he’s going to talk to people, he’s at least going to have questionable-looking punch while he does.
When he turns after getting punch, he nearly runs into someone. He quickly steps back. “Oh, sorry!” He looks up into the shocked face of Tommy Hagan. He blinks. “Tommy?”
“Steve.”
Steve smiles. “How’ve you been?”
Tommy blinks, like he can’t believe Steve’s being nice to him right now, and that’s when Steve remembers they’d parted on not-so-nice terms. Oh well, he would’ve feigned politeness even if he’d remembered. “I’m good, yeah, uh, how- how’re you?”
“I’m good,” Steve agrees. “Really good. Last I remember you and Carol were dancing around each other, yeah? What happened there?”
“We got married,” Tommy nods.
“Congratulations!”
“And then divorced two years later,” Tommy adds, smirking. Steve winces. “How about you? Last I knew, it was you and Wheeler, ‘cept she cheated on you with Byers, yeah?”
“God,” Steve laughs, “that was so long ago. Yeah, that happened. We talked it through and Nance and I are really good friends now. She’s married to someone else, as am I, but we both keep in touch with Jon, thought he’s out in California now.”
Tommy’s brow raises. “Married? Who’s the lucky girl?”
A presence beside him makes Steve turn to see Eddie grinning at him. “My ears are burning.”
“They should be,” he laughs. “Tommy, you remember Eddie?”
“Munson,” Tommy nods, then does a double take. “Wait, you’re married?”
“As of three years ago now,” Eddie says proudly. “But together for…”
“Thirty-seven years,” Steve provides, smiling at his husband before turning back to Tommy. “Did you ever get remarried after Carol?” Tommy shakes his head.
Eddie whispers in Steve’s ear, “You know he totally had the hots for you, right?”
Steve winces at the blast of static from his hearing aid and quickly shuts it off. “Ow,” he mutters, grinning crookedly at Eddie, who looks apologetic. He quickly signs what he’d whispered, and Steve laughs. “Don’t you remember my initial panic?”
Eddie thinks, back to when Steve had asked him what’s gay versus friendly, becoming increasingly confused when most of the things Eddie ticked off in the gay category were things Steve and Tommy had done that Steve had thought firmly resided in the friendly category. “Oh, yeah.”
Steve snorts, shakes his head, pushes him away. “Go talk to someone else. Rescue Robin, she looks like she needs it.”
“Nah,” Eddie says, “she can hold her own,” but goes anyways after a quick peck to Steve’s cheek. Steve turns the hearing aid back on.
“Man,” Tommy says wonderingly, “what happened to you?”
“Concussions,” Steve answers flatly. “Three of ‘em. Then I grew up.” He sighs, looks down at his cup, then up at Tommy. “Listen, man, about what we used to do-”
Tommy winces. “I know. I had that revelation a while ago, actually, but it was definitely shitty of me.”
Steve smiles, shrugs. “You had a crush on me. It’s not an excuse, but it does make a certain kind of sense you’d react that way, especially considering the kind of home life you had.” He smiles self-deprecatingly. “Feel free to stop listening if the therapist side of me comes out. I swear I’m not trying to, like, diagnose you with anything.”
Tommy’s brows raise. “You’re a therapist?”
Steve hums affirmatively. “Started as a school counselor, if you can believe that.”
Tommy fixes him with a wondering grin. “Y’know? I think I can see it.”
“Do my eyes deceive me,” someone says from their side, draping their arms across Steve and Tommy’s shoulders, pulling them into a hug.
Steve comes face-to-face with Carol. He grins. “Hey, Carol.”
“Hey, you,” she says, raking her eyes over him. “Time’s been good to you.”
“You’re one to talk,” Steve says happily, but its true; she doesn’t look a day over forty, instead of the fifty-odd she is now. “How are you?”
“Can’t complain,” she agrees.
They go through the same song-and-dance, but this time when she asks who he’s married to, he sees Eddie juggling water bottles, talking to a couple of people. “Oh, for-” he mutters, then louder, “Eddie, what in the everloving fuck are you doing?”
Eddie drops a bottle, puts the other two on the table behind him, and jogs over to throw his weight onto Steve. “Making friends.”
Steve snorts, elbows him off. “Say hi to Carol, babe.”
Carol clocks it immediately, based on the twitch of her eyebrow, but only says, “I didn’t peg you two as a couple.”
“Well, yeah,” Eddie snorts, “it was Bumfuck, Indiana in the 80’s.”
Carol tilts her head in agreement, then turns to Tommy and says coolly, “Tommy.”
“Carol,” he replies, tips of his ears red.
Eddie looks between them, then turns a raised eyebrow on Steve, who quickly signs, “Married for two years a while ago. I don’t know any details.”
“He clearly is still into her.”
“I refuse to be a part of whatever you’re planning.”
Eddie pouts. “You’re no fun.”
Carol clears her throat. “Sign language?”
Steve snorts. “Turns out brains aren’t supposed to get banged around. You’ve got a real good chance of messing something up that way.”
Eddie pokes his cheek. “‘S not your fault.”
“Never said it was,” Steve placates.
Carol shakes her head. “How many concussions do you have?”
Steve hums. “Three? Four?”
“Three,” Eddie corrects. “Not that we need to get into it right now.” He gives Carol a tight smile, and Steve hip-checks him.
“Down, boy,” he murmurs with a smile. “I’m alright.” He turns to Carol with a wider smile. “Long story short, the concussions caused irreparable hearing loss. I’m almost completely deaf in my left ear, but I get by.”
“Damn,” Carol says lightly, “life, huh?”
Steve snorts. “You can say that again.” He tilts his head. “How are you?” He asks. “Really?”
She gives him a crooked smile. “Let’s walk and talk.” Steve offers her his arm, which she takes with a laugh.
“How am I,” she muses. “Well I thought I found love, but we imploded two years later. Thank god for prenups, I guess, but at the same time, that made it feel like we were doomed from the start.”
Steve hums. “Eddie and I have been legally married for three years,” he tells her. “Together for thirty-seven. We’ve got prenups. Not because we think we won’t work, but because we want the people we care about to not have to worry about any of that.” He’s silent for a few steps. “I used to think love is out of our control. That we don’t get to decide who we fall for. And maybe, to a certain extent, that’s true. But love is also a choice you make every day. Eddie and I are still in love because we choose to be.”
“You look at each other like you’re on your honeymoon.”
Steve giggles. “And to think we didn’t even have a honeymoon!”
Carol laughs, too, then sobers. “You always were more fortunate in love,” she says. “What do you think? Do we have a chance?”
Steve hums. “I think it’s obvious, just by looking at him, that he’s still into you.”
“No shit.”
“So what’s important is how you feel. Marriage is work, I’m not gonna lie and say it’s not. So are you ready, and I mean really ready, to work for it?”
She works her lower lip. “I think so,” she admits. “But I- I’m also not completely sure I’m straight.”
“Okay,” Steve shrugs. “Do you know what he and I used to get up to?” He shrugs at her look. “I’m just saying, neither is he.”
“I mean, I definitely still like guys.”
“Well duh, you’ve taken more dick than I have and I’m married to a man.”
She snorts. “But women…”
“I know,” Steve says sympathetically. “It’s hard, isn’t it.” He pats her hand. “If you’re ready to try, though, you need to talk to him.” He turns her around, gestures toward Tommy, who quickly looks away, cheeks burning. They both laugh softly.
Carol leans up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Steve. Let’s keep in touch.”
“Let’s actually keep in touch,” he agrees, handing her his phone. “Where do you live?”
“Columbus for now, but he’s in Dayton.”
Steve hums. “We’re in Detroit.”
“We’ll do phone calls,” Carol decides, laughing.
Steve chuckles, saves her number. “Plan to meet up-”
“Never actually do-”
“Oh, Carol, it’s been so long-”
They both break off into giggles. “You’re fun,” she decides. “I wish we’d kept in touch.”
“To be fair, we competed for title of bitchiest.”
“To be fair, I don’t think we ever grew out of that,” Carol retorted, and Steve snorts, gently shoving her.
“Alright, go get your man, and send mine over here.”
She gently steps on his shoe as she leaves, impish smile in place, and Steve turns only to run into Nancy and Robin. “Hey, guys,” he smiles.
Nancy gives him a look. “Making nice with Carol?”
Steve shrugs, grins at her. “Turns out we were just kids. Who knew, right?”
Just then, Eddie comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder. “What’re we talking about?”
Nancy smiles at him, wraps an arm around Robin’s waist. “Being kids.”
“That so?” He presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek, pushes back to look at him. “You look lighter.”
Steve hums. “‘S cause I love you.”
“Charmer,” Eddie mutters, turning bright red. “C’mon, seriously.”
“Seriously,” Steve agrees. “I was talking with Carol about her and Tommy, and I told her that why we work is because we work at it.”
“Very true.”
From behind them, someone cautiously asks, “Eddie Munson?”
They both turn, and suddenly Eddie’s scooping her up in a hug. “Ronnie! What the hell are you doin’ here, huh?”
She laughs and hugs him back just as hard. “Did you ever know a Jackson Starnes?”
Eddie’s brow furrows for a second, then smooths out. “Oh, Jackie! Yeah, he was cool.”
“Mhm. He’s my husband.”
“No shit? I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” she laughs, then nods at everyone else. “Who’s the hunk you were hangin’ off of?”
Eddie chuckles. “Ronnie, meet my husband, Steve.”
She turns an eyebrow on him. “You got married?”
“He proposed,” Steve corrects her, grinning.
“To the preppiest of jocks,” Robin adds.
Eddie laughs. “What can I say? It’s love.” He swoons, placing a hand over his chest, almost pulling Ronnie over with the arm still over her shoulder.
She laughs and dumps him off of her. Steve swoops in before he can fall, hoisting him up with a quick kiss.
“I’m Nancy,” she says, extending her hand to Ronnie. “And this is my wife Robin.”
“Oh!” Eddie says, literally jumping back into the conversation. “Robin and Steve are like how we were.”
“Platonic soulmates,” Steve agrees.
“With a capital P,” Robin emphasizes.
“It’s nice to meet you all,” Ronnie says.
“How’s Wayne?” She asks Eddie.
“Dead.” He snickers at her face. “‘S alright, Ronnie. It’s been years.”
“Still. I can be sorry.”
“You can,” he agrees. “It won’t help anything, but you can.” He digs his phone out of his pockets, opens his contacts app. “Here, lemme get your number, yeah?”
“Fuck yeah,” Ronnie says, “let’s hang out, just lemme know when so I can get a sitter.”
Eddie chokes on nothing. “You have a kid?”
Ronnie grins, a shit-eating thing as she hands his phone back. “Three.”
“Goddamn,” he says, “you got pictures?”
Ronnie rolls her eyes, grabs her phone. “What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t? Here, this is Cassie, Alex, and… that’s Elijah.”
“Oh, man, Alex looks just like Jackie, doesn’t he?”
“I carry him for nine months,” Ronnie bitches good-naturedly. “‘Nough about me, though, how’re you? Corroded Coffin ever take off?”
Eddie snorts. “You hear about the psychopath in ‘86?”
“I remember something about it.”
“Yeah. I got caught in the crossfires, wrongfully blamed, and spent…” he looks at Steve. “A year?”
“Almost.”
He turns back to Ronnie. “Almost a year hiding out. Corroded Coffin was officially disbanded after I was allowed out of hiding.”
“Fuck,” Ronnie says, “there goes my entire foot in my mouth, I guess. What’re you doing now, then?”
He chuckles. “A little bit of everything, honestly. A little music, a little writing, a little D&D. Nothing that’s made me a household name, but enough that I’m kept busy and we’re comfortable.”
Ronnie nods. “And how about you?” She asks Steve.
“Oh, nothing as fun as that,” Steve chuckles. “I’m a therapist.”
Ronnie tilts her head. “Any specialties?”
“C-PTSD, mainly.”
“Damn, I know about eight people who could use someone like you.”
Steve snorts. “That’s usually the way it goes, yeah.”
“Well it was great seeing you, Eddie,” Ronnie says. “And meeting all the rest of you. But I’ve got to find my husband and get back home, so we’ll have to continue this later.”
“Of course,” Steve says. “See you later?”
“Absolutely,” Ronnie nods, then turns and walks off.
They decide to leave not too much later. They’re all tired, so the drive to the hotel is filled with only the sound of the radio, turned almost all the way down.
“Y’know,” Eddie murmurs, tracing the ring on Steve’s finger, “she was my first kiss.”
Steve snorts, an explosive thing that he definitely learned from Robin. “She what?”
“Yup,” Eddie nods. “I knew I liked girls, but she’s the only one I got close enough to to actually know. We got stupid one night and decided to kiss and it basically went how it would if you and Robin were to kiss.”
“Ew,” Steve says on reflex. Eddie snorts.
Robin slaps at him from her seat, then yells when he slaps back, “Don’t distract the driver!”
“Bitch,” he tells her, “you slapped first!”
“You said ew about kissing me!”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Hell no!”
“That’s why I said it!”
Eddie leans up to murmur to Nancy, “should we break it up?”
“Eh, give it a minute. Once they resort to cursing their lineages we can break it up.”
He chuckles. “Always the wise one, Wheeler.”
“You’d best believe it,” she nods smugly.
“Nancy!” Robin says. “Baby! Defend me!”
“About kissing Steve? Who I’ve kissed before?”
“Oh, no,” Robin says, horrified. “I’m stuck in the car with the two people who are experts on Steve kissing.”
“Why’d you make it sound like a bad thing?” Steve demands.
And… yeah. Eddie’s glad they got separate hotel rooms.
Based on the look Nancy throws his way when they part, she’s glad, too.
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bakudekublogblog · 3 months
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theyre so goddamn gorgeous it’s insane
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lotus-pear · 1 day
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
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perpetuallyboo · 4 months
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The posts ive seen about "I really hope the bad kids dont hurt the rat grinders :(" is giving the same energy as the hangman to fabian going "we should be nice to her cause if we just keep being nice to her then she'll stop being so mean!!"
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heartorbit · 8 months
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always by your side
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