#this is definitely staged but its so fucking funny

[jeongin-lvr]

Hear me out..

Brat tamers!vocalracha.

You got invited to a award show with skz but oops.. You didn't wear any underwear under your dress, and you're incredibly needy for seungmin and jeongin so you decide to get their attention a little.. :)

needy reader and vocal racha ouuuu.... I need them both so bad… seungmin is definitely the meaner of the two and jeongin is more lenient… buttttt I’m thinking about making jeongin snap and him being the mean one!!!

You felt like seeing them like this— seeing them dressed so handsome in neatly pressed suits was making you mad. The kind of suits that hugged their slim waists and fit nicely around their arms. The kind that drove you absolutely insane. With their gelled back hair and pretty faces so nicely illuminated by the lights overhead; it was impossible not to think the thoughts that you were thinking. You couldn’t help yourself.

Jeongin had warned you that tonight meant no funny business. That meant none of the usual teasing or fussing you usually displayed for them. And Seungmin had agreed sternly, telling you that there’s a time and place. It’s funny they’d think you’d actually listen. You selfishly nodded along to their words as you had put your makeup on, the sounds of their voices only being background music now. Everything they’d just said— the warnings, the stern talking to’s —went in one ear and out the other.

That was so apparent as soon as they got to the event; what was supposed to be a suit and tie, calm, posh event ended up feeling like pure torture for everyone involved. Not because it was boring, not because the people there sucked. No, it was because in the limo ride to this award show you’d smugly shown the boys the fact that you had no panties on. Giving them a show as you snuck your dress up your body, watching as their eyes widened and their lips twitched. You could tell they weren’t surprised, just a little bit pissed. Deep brown eyes on your body, objectifying every inch of you because they fucking could. And you so desperately wanted them too as well. But before they could even think about getting their hands on you the car ride was over and they knew tonight would be a very long night.

To you, this was fun. To the boys, well, it was pure torture at its finest. The aching glances between the three of you, the knowledge that you were in deep shit later. All of it made you giddy. There was a side of you that felt like this was exactly what you needed.

You spent the entire night trailing your fingers up their biceps; making sure to drag your French tipped nails along their thighs and briefly over their bulges. And then you’d gleefully watch them bite their inner-cheeks and narrow their eyes in pure frustration. You could see the end goal so clearly— exactly what you wanted.

But so could the men you were so mercilessly teasing. So they’d decided to not give it to you. They let you toy with them the entire night and slowly they watched the excitement die from your eyes and fade into a dull boredom. A pout on your lips as you crossed your arms and turned away from them. So the boys enjoyed their night and you felt anything but that.

Until they got you home it was disheartening to see your plans so miserably fail. The ache between your thighs only grew and along came the distinct flavor of frustration on your tongue. You glared at the boys, preening and pawing at their suits. You’re sure people were watching; however, you didn’t care. You just needed their attention so bad you thought you might die. But they just continued staring ahead at the stage, admiring whoever was up there, and more importantly, ignoring you.

Jeongin was always the kinder one, the one who folded for you quicker, but honestly not by much. Seungmin on the other hand could go days just torturing and plucking at you. Taking his time with riling you up. At least with Jeongin it wasn’t tedious and horrifically long. But not this time. This time Jeongin was the one not sparing you the glances, he was stoic and dead set on eyeing the stage the entire night. Seungmin was the one returning your touches, still they were nimble and airy.

You wanted to stomp and scream and shout at them for not returning your attention; for keeping you waiting this long. And just as you were about to Jeongin finally broke his gaze from the stage and his gaze was electrifying. It was sharp, his scowl apparent and for once you finally shut up and froze.

Regret has swamped your being now as his fingers drilled into your poor, overstimulated pussy. And Seungmin merely let it happen, his own big hand wrapped tightly around your throat as his other pinched at your clit. “You wanted my attention and you fucking got it. Happy now? Say something or I’m leaving you like this, slut.” Jeongin’s words felt like they were corroding your brain; leaving nothing but a mushy, pleasurable mess. His palm slapped against your folds, words hanging in the air like knives. He’d ruined your dress, torn on the sides from where he’d hunched the tight material up; the straps loosening around your shoulders as they fell and your bare tits spilled out. Regret was an understatement.

Your body spent you simply shook your head, too tired, too maimed by the hands of the men you’d so desperately wanted. “Say something, bitch”

[itsdefinitely]

highschool tgwdlm ted is so important to me

[borom1r]

born too late to get stuck in Mr. Munch’s Magic Madhouse and die, ironically, like a trapped rodent 😔

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hands down one of my worst experiences in high school was when the seniors decided to extort the entire school by using tactics that were banned by the UN to get them to pay for the senior party! If that sounds like a wild sentiment stay tuned because this shit got crazy.

I was living in Arizona at the time and I was a freshman. Our campus was largely open air, with walks between class room buildings and some covered outdoor tables. Our event began with a morning announcement. The seniors were collecting donations for the senior party, and when they reached their goal, their fundraising method would stop.

Their fundraising method:

To pipe the entire schools speakers with "If You're Happy and You Know It" on loop. To this day, I cannot hear this song without experiencing a degree of rage and madness that is frankly alarming. One of the worst parts of the entire thing was that the recording they chose had the female singer do a little clap and say "Yay-ha-hey," at the end. So it wasn't just the song, it was this awful little cooldown stinger at the end.

If this sounds a lot like psychological torture you'd be extremely correct! This practice has been banned in some countries, but the good old US hasn't ruled it a human rights violation, and what a fun silly way to raise money, that definitely wasn't damaging to adolescent psyches!

Every morning for 15 minutes before school began, every passing period, every lunch, and after school for another 15 minutes they blasted that fucking song on unceasing repeat through every speaker in the school. Everyone found different ways of coping with this and mine was to observe my classmates descent into madness and categorize the stages.

The first stage was almost completely consistent, and it was a smug almost exasperated eye rolling phase. Often accompanied by derisive comments about the song or the tactic, this phase was extremely mildly annoyed. Most people figured it would blow over soon, and no one anticipated this continuing for a week and a half, creating a miasma of fraught tension.

The second phase was elevated annoyance, starting to snap and be less amused characterized this level of irritation. People would try to cover their ears or put on headphones, humming aggressively to block out the syrupy repulsive children's performer with her loathsome little clap. This phase had people picking their absolute least favorite part of the song. Her inflection on certain words, her timing between verses. I think it's pretty clear already which part I hated most.

The next phase was a bounce back out to absurdity. It became funny how annoying it was and people would sing along as if to challenge the song's authority over their psyche. This paired exceptionally poorly with people in phase two as they'd often lash out at the people giving more voice to their hell.

The fourth phase was a dead-eyed madness. People would stare straight ahead and their lips would silently mouth the familiar words. The song had pounded its way into their very soul and was inextricably linked to auditory output. They often didn't even realize if they began chanting along.

The fifth and final phase was pure uncut pubescent rage. Kids would scream, attack each other, and in a truly epic end to the event hurl a cafeteria chair with such force at the speaker in the cafeteria to irreparably damage the sound system.

The seniors got funding for a party, but some of it had to go to repair the damages, which were substantial.

[lucvly]

— boyfriend headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: tooth rotting fluff and a nsfw part?? not proofread stop its almost 1 am

a/n: i’m trying my best to feed you guys but school is Fucking me upppp :/ sry this is a little short Oopsie

— tries to act tougher in public but when both of you are alone he’s a total sweetheart.

— he loves it when you play with his hair, when you let him lay his head on your chest and won’t ever admit it out loud but loves when you’re the big spoon.

— gets so distracted when you’re around it’s hilarious (+ matt and nick always tease him for it because he looks “ridiculous”) literally has the biggest heart eyes for you, always following you around and drooling over you.

— pda pda pda !! this man loves pda, i’m not elaborating.

— shows you off anywhere and everywhere. literally anyone who’s ever spoken to him knows you because he’s always talking about you.

— his instagram feed are mostly pictures with you in them. he loves posting you.

— adores touching you. not even sexually, but always has an arm around you, hugs you from behind, an arm around your waist, a hand in the back pocket of your jeans, etc.

— don’t ever ask him about it but if you’re a romcom fan he’ll definitely watch them with you. sure, he’ll act like he hates them but actually loves watching them with you. his guilty pleasure fr!

— adores doing domestic stuff with you: grocery shopping, cooking, baking– man, he’d even do laundry with you. which just pisses matt off because the only time chris helps with chores is when you’re around.

— if you mention a certain song or a certain artist he’ll slowly start adding them into his playlist. don’t ask him about it because he’ll actually get Embarrassed but still. ++ he has a playlist of songs that remind him of you.

— spoils you good. you want a new perfume? just say the word. that book you talked about last week? he already bought it for you. new necklace? of course. and it has his initials on it so it’s a win win.

— asks you for fashion advice LMFAOO. you’ll get spammed at like 7 am with something like “black or white?????”

— still flirts with you like you’re in the talking stage it’s sooo funny. tells you the lamest pickup lines but it’s cute because it’s Him !!

— nsfw below!

— a munch. loooves eating you out. he does it for his own pleasure trust. + he gets pussydrunk soo quickly.

— teases you soo much help?? especially in public. you could literally be at an important meeting and he’ll still have his hand on your thigh while whispering dirty ass things in your ear.

— loves it when you drag him lingerie shopping. he’s just there to support you and drool over you tbh. he can’t help but get hard when he sees you in all those pretty sets. (+ always ends up with you fucking in the dressing room).

— this man suffers when he’s on tour. he’s so used to having you take care of him he almost forgot how to jerk off LMFAOOO??

— has a whole album on his phone for his eyes only which include videos he’s taken of you getting fucked senseless, videos of you crying out his name, pictures you’ve sent him and videos.

— loves phone sex HELLOOO?? just hearing your voice gets him rock hard. sometimes you’ll be talking about the stupidest thing ever while on call with him and all you’ll ever hear from the other line are soft grunts, panting and heavy breathing. (+ when you tease him about it he just tells you to keep talking– yeah, you both end up moaning into the phone LMFAOO)

— literally anything gets him turned on. something as simple as you giggling or wearing one of his fresh love hoodies and boom– he’s bricked.

— pet names are a huge yes. this man could be choking you and balls deep in you but he’ll still call you the sweetest pet names ever. (“angel”, “princess”, “baby”, “doll”.)

— teasing gets him so worked up. don’t even try to pull on his hair a little, slightly touch his crotch when he’s hard or bend over in front of him unless you wanna end up pinned against a wall and going for at least three rounds.

[hyuckiefluff]

Hey so I hv request! Really love the way you write♡ ok so mark is on adrenaline high frm the concert and is really touch starved and really just wants to fuck his gf! Established realtionship y/n and Mark, feel free to add your magic, thank you!!!

a/n: thank u for the nice words and for sending in this req!! this is exactly what i needed to get back into the mood cuz i’ve (once again) been neglecting my writing lol but anyway when i read this the first thing i thought of was quiet down hence the pic :)

ps: requests are still open btw (still got a lot of them to go through but feel free to send in more) i usually do them in order of which one inspires me the most so even if you send rn i might get to it first!

pairing: mark lee x fem!reader

wc: 1.3k

content warnings: semi-public sex, unprotected sex, slight choking, brief mention of blood, mark is sex starved so he goes a bit crazy, ass groping, handjob (m. receiving), cum eating yeah ik ik i keep writing this but i can’t stop sawry, big c0ck mark!! barely any prep or aftercare (they don’t have time!!!) basically just a messy & needy quickie backstage.

masterlist

Mark was losing his mind. 

Why?

All because you placed him on a week-long sex ban in an attempt to prepare him for the upcoming tour. He knew you were just trying to help him adjust to being away from you, but it felt like torture.

Everything was fine at first, or at least Mark was doing a great job pretending. But as the first week neared its end, his resolve started to crumble. Today, in particular, he was extremely horny for no reason.

...Well, he actually did have a reason and it was the picture you sent him this morning, wearing the new underwear he had gifted you  'They fit perfectly, Markie ;)'.

And as if that wasn’t enough, you showed up to his show wearing his favorite skirt—the very one you knew he always fucked you in. He wasn't sure if he was just thinking with his dick, but it felt like you were trying to push him to his limit.

Either way, it was definitely working, because when you leaned in for a kiss, he caught a glimpse of your underwear in the mirror's reflection and and he had to fight against every part of himself to not moan right then.

To make matters worse, you were still wearing the black lace panties he had gifted you.

By the time he stepped on stage, he was already painfully hard. What kind of pervert gets turned on in front of an audience just because his girlfriend accidentally flashed him? Well, apparently, Mark Lee did.

But he didn't care about looking like a desperate, sex-starved fool. 

So as soon as the VCR started playing and they had to change outfits, he made a beeline for you backstage. Ignoring the protests of staff and confused band members telling him he only had 10 minutes to get ready he grabbed your arm and pulled you through the crowd.

“That’s more than enough time,” he muttered under his breath. Despite your persistent attempts to ask where he was taking you, Mark didn’t stop until you were hidden away in a dark, secluded corner behind the stage.

"Mark, what's going on? Are you okay?" You inspected him with concern in your eyes, checking for any injuries.

"Ah...fuck... I have a really big problem," he groaned.

"What's wrong?" But you quickly understood the issue when he pulled up his shirt, revealing the growing bulge in his pants.

You tried not to laugh, but the way he looked like a child in need of help was too endearing. "Aw, did I do this to you?"

"It's not funny," he protested, suddenly invading your personal space. "I need you to fix it." His forehead pressed against yours, his hands roaming over your sides and gripping your hips to press you firmly against his body, your lower abdomen coming in contact with his hard on.

"Of course, baby" you replied, ready to kneel down, but he stopped you by grabbing your arm. You looked at him confused, and the stage lights cast an angle that highlighted his pleading eyes. They were glossy with desire.

"I need to be inside you," he murmured, his voice strained and raspy.

The idea of having backstage sex at his concert with just about seven minutes left before he had to return to the stage felt crazy. But there was something about it that turned you on beyond explanation.

So, you cupped his face and kissed him hard enough that your teeth clashed with his lips, but not even the slight taste of blood stopped you from devouring each other’s mouth. Mark quickly matched your intensity, his tongue wasting no time exploring every corner of your mouth. Every time he nibbled on your lips, it elicited little gasps from you. His hands moved from your hips to your ass, pressing you firmly against his bulge, a clear reminder that he was about to explode down there.

You started to undo his pants, the friction of his erection against the fabric made him suck in air through his teeth. He broke away from your lips, allowing you to pull down his pants. His boxers were already stained with pre-cum, and when you lowered them, his dick looked at you flushed and angry. You bit your lip, his size always made you clench your thighs in anticipation.

Before you could even touch him, he turned you around and that’s when you realized you were pressed against one of the glass boxes from their performance.

"Mark..." you moaned his name when you felt the tip of his dick at your entrance. There was no time for much preparation so when he slowly pushed his hips forward, a string of curses left his lips at the tightness.

"Fuuuck..." he groaned when your walls clenched around him relentlessly. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you leaned against the box for support

“God, you feel so good” His hands gripped your hips, and you felt his lips kissing your shoulder before he whispered that he was going to start moving. You nodded weakly.

His pace started out slow, but there was an undeniable urgency in each motion. His hand moved from your hips to your neck, gripping you softly and pulling you closer with every deep thrust. His lips found that sensitive spot just below your ear, and with every kiss and nibble, you couldn't help but clench around him, making his hand close tighter against your throat. This pattern continued for a while, bringing you closer to the edge.

"Please..." you whimpered, and he grunted softly against your neck.

"What do you need, baby?" he asked.

"More, please, I need more," you moaned, feeling his grin against your neck.

He wasted no time. His thrusts quickened, and you couldn't help but release soft gasps and moans with each movement. You leaned forward against the box, your breath fogging up the glass, feeling it tremble beneath you as he continued fucking into you harder. Mark was losing himself, or perhaps he already had; he was rutting against you as if he was an animal in heat.

"M-mark... I'm close," you mewled, not sure if he even heard you amidst the loud cheers.

"Mhm, me too," he moaned, his voice strained. 

It only took a few more thrusts and you were spent, moaning and mumbling incoherently as he helped you ride your orgasm.

 "Fuck, it's gonna be messy if I cum inside you," he realized, slowing his movements.

He was right… he wasn't wearing a condom so as soon as he pulled out, it would definitely drip down your legs. And there wasn’t anything nearby to clean you up with.

"Pull out," you said, and you could see his confusion from the corner of your eye. Nonetheless, he did as told. His hand was already on his dick, ready to take care of himself, but when you knelt down, it was as if his body glitched momentarily.

Your hands replaced his, applying just the right amount of pressure in your strokes to evoke that familiar sensation building in his gut. You looked at him through your eyelashes, your makeup slightly smudged from tears and sweat. The sight was incredibly hot, and just when he was about to cum, you opened your mouth, catching all of his release. Some of it trickled down your throat. The whole scene, along with the sounds you made while swallowing, had Mark almost in tears from the sheer intensity of the moment.

After swallowing every drop, you stood up, adjusting your panties and casually licking a remnant from the corner of your lips, all while maintaining eye contact with Mark. He watched you in stunned silence, still catching his breath. You chuckled when he remained frozen for a good 10 seconds, pulling him close gently and zipping up his pants. In that moment, you heard his voice.

“Please come on tour with me,” he begged, his eyes wide with hope. You just smiled and kissed him.

“Where’s Mark?! You guys are up in 2 minutes!” The staff's frantic shouts pulled you both back to reality. You exchanged a glance and burst into giggles like a pair of teenagers.

i think i might be shadowbanned guys so interact with this post if u enjoyed it pls <3

[terezicaptor]

Thinking about how jealous Pac got upon thinking Quackity was dating Tubbo. Rotating them in my mind. All I want is for him to realize that he does NOT like the idea of non morning crew people flirting with or dating Tubbo, but he also doesn't care when Tubbo flirts with or gets flirted with by his own actual literal boyfriend. He sees Fit and Tubbo flirting and he thinks its funny and he LIKES it because...? Well, because they're all some of his favourite people so why WOULD he mind? :D

HONESTLYYY

Like Fit got jealous when Tubbo gave Pac a lap dance that one time but he doesn't mind when Tubbo talks about them making out and getting married. And Pac was perfectly fine with Tubbo giving him a lap dance.

AND ALSO FIT BLATANTLY INVITING HIM ON THEIR DATE??

Like I think the only reason Pac is fine with Fred is bc he thinks Fred doesn't interfere with the morning crew poly type dynamic.. though we're getting into fanon territory here. Let's lean a little harder into fanon/fanfic territory though.

Pac cannot STAND Bad after purgatory because he's convinced Bad and Tubbo had something going on. And he isn't wrong there was definitely something happening there. But he hears from Fit that Bad "filled Tubbo's hole" and that Tubbo asked him to clean it out and suddenly he's trying to spend time with Tubbo like no one's fucking business.

Sunny calls Fit her dad? Oh you bet Pac is trying to show Sunny all the cool shit Chume Labs has to wow her. He's going to be her Pai if it kills him. He's going to build her so many cool gadgets.

Fit misspoke and said Sunny wasn't family? Oh you bet your ass he's doing a Daddy-Daughter day.

He knows way into Tubbo's heart is thru his daughter's affection.

But back to him being jealous. He's chill with Fred because Fred seems entirely fine with Tubbo being involved with Fit and himself.

I think he was so upset when Tubbo didn't come on the date. And then he saw the edited photos and was like "Ohhhh is he jealoussss?? 😏" Which he wasn't but Pac decides to get him back on his own date by staging a pic of Tubbo on a date with him and/or Fit.

And Fred has a complete non-reaction. Despite them seeming to be the jealous type from how he reacted to thinking Tubbo was w/ someone else bc of Sunny.

Theyre just like. "Oh if you're dating other people you can tell me. We can be poly."

And Tubbo's like "I'm not? I don't think at least??"

And this somehow leads to him thinking morning crew is dating and Pac is very pleased. Meanwhile Fit is confused out of his head bc he hasn't been keeping up with the weird homosexual mindgames that Pac and Tubbo are on.

Idk this got away from me. Thanks for the ask 👍

[estxkios]

Reader calls all of Tokio hotel pookie🫢🤭 like there call out for them an reader will be like “yes pookie” what’d you think their reactions would be

tokiohotel x reader

hcs for what tokio hotel would do if you called them pookie. 😭 also i wrote this for them in 2008 because tom and gustav have wives now so it would be kinda.. ykyk 💀

warnings : swearing , fluff (?)

BILL

you would definitely say it out of nowhere

like bill would ask "can you grab my hairspry, love??"

and you would just be like

"sure pookie!!"

he wouldnt say anything he would just starnd there like "🤨" until you came back to the bathroom

"what did you call me?"

"oh nothing." you would say handing him the hairspry

"bitch, i definitely heard you call be something and it wasnt my name.."

after that day you definitely teasing him by calling him it all the time.

if he was about to go on stage youd be like "good luck pookie!!"

and he would roll his eyes at you but you and the other members think its so funny

the other members would start calling him it too 😭

GEORG

you would be helping him pick his outfit and he would be like "does it look good?"

you just say "yes pookie"

at first mans would be flabbergasted 😭

"did you just call me POOKIE?"

"yes pookie"

i feel like you guys would star calling each other it as a joke, but then he would start taking it seriously.

so it kind of just stuck and till this day you call him pookie

like you would be mad at him and he would just be like

"but im your pookie, right?"

"georg. stop."

"aww man."

TOM

you guys would just be hanging out in his hotel room and you would say "pookie come over here"

"what the fuck did you say"

you would ignore him and he would stay staring at you

"i said come here tom"

"no bitch what did you say before.."

"oh, u mean pookie?"

i feel like he would think ur treating him like a baby and get mad

"im a man you cant call me that."

"okay get over here pookie"

"y/n im gonna kill u."

GUSTAV

okay hear me out i feel like gustav would either love it or hate it

he would think its an insult at first because pookie really isnt a word in germany

so he would be like "what the fuck did you call me stupidmathafacka"

then you would tell him its like a pet name and he would be like " oh " 🧍🏻‍♀️

mans would definitely call you it after that day

he would just be like "pookie wanna hear me play drums?"

"pookie come here"

pookie is just ur new name.

he would basically steal the nickname from you 😭

--------------------------------------------------------

i hope this is what u wanted!! p.s im might make a really long fic?? 😱

but im debating wether to post it on wattpad or tumblr. so lmk what u think !!

bye angels <3 !!

[fruity-fruition]

Who here is willing to hear me out on exes Mizurui. Like. Mizurui, who're unaware of what actual romantic love is supposed to feel like, and started dating because they both can't figure out what it is so it has to be romantic, right?

But broke it off when they realized that it isn't what both of them wanted, on friendly terms. Turns out, they're qpr who knew. Also, they're peak mlm wlw solidarity after that.

ALSO also. Hear me out on exes Shizukasa but not in a "they dated" kind of exes. Like, they both caught feelings, but were too busy with life and disasters being thrown at them that they never figured out what it actually was. Once one figured it out, the other had already unintentionally moved on. So they had to learn to let go.

Shizukasa in a "first love, never meant to last" kind of way. A love that showed the potential of being loved, but could never reach its highest limit.

Anyways both Mizurui and Shizukasa stayed amazing friends even after and they joke around about it a lot. Which isn't funny in Shizukasa's case because people kept looking at him like "how the FUCK did you fumble SHIZUKU HINOMORI."

(Bonus, I had this stupid Shizukasa headcanon that they're each other's first kiss and Tsukasa used to ask to practice stage kisses with Shizuku a lot for school plays n stuff because he wanted to improve. Idk just unrelated info)

Ruikasa and Mizuena endgame but dude, think of how FUNNY it would be if Rui, a Shizuku stan (a fangirl even) found out that TSUKASA. The guy he's head over heels for. Had something between him and her. Like. He's definitely jealous. Of who? He doesn't fucking know dude all he knows is that he feels weird and scared

[bloodykora]

If you’re still doing Buggy headcanons: Sooo I always actually thought big noses on people are INCREDIBLY attractive. Give me men with noses that look just a bit too beaten up, women with noses that are big and wide, give me Roman noses and hawk noses and any unconventionally attractive nose and I am SWOONING.

… I feel the prompt almost writes itself at this point, what would Buggy think of someone who sees his funny looking nose not as a flaw but a mayor charm point and just constantly gives it kisses, traces it affectionately, boops it or comments (in all honesty and absolutely genuinely) how handsome and distinguished it makes him look, how it really suits him etc?

Wanna read about that man bluescreening because he hasn’t even treathened them yet to not make fun of his nose and they are already at the „flattering him to save themself“ stage? What do you MEAN you’re not saying that to safe yourself?!

This fucking anon/ask made me giggle so much, I literally showed it to my friends. I hope I did you and the prompt justice!

Enter the moment in Annie where Ms. Hannigan sees Warbucks’ diamond and goes “Oh my god, is that thing real?!” in shock but also delight. Me at that dude’s honker. (I want to be put on his nose like he has gangrene and I’m a leech who sucks on it to get the blood flow going) Also enter the Doja Cat quote of liking big noses.

- At first, dude is fucking weirded out. People have made comments and jokes about this stupid little red thing on his face and you… you think it’s attractive??? Huh.

- Definitely thinks you’re lying at first (and for the next few months), you’re literally the only person who is able to shut him up.

- Curtain drops, spot light is on, the blue haired clown walks in. Blabbering on about how his entrance should be more enthusiastic, but you got your eyes on your own prize, bright big red nostrils. If he wants an entrance, you’ll give him one by starting to clap loudly, getting so giddy that you start slightly hopping.

- “Oh my goodness, that is just.” Loss for words. “Are you making fun of me?” He approaches you, you hear him but his words don’t really seep into your brain at the moment. “It’s gorgeous, literally the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Your eyes are locked with his eyes and before he can even reply you reach up to brush your fingertip against his nose.

- Wants you dead first, no one has gotten close to touching it in years. And you, a low life nobody insults him like that. You get strung up immediately, your arm stretched so your fingers are out.

- “For that little ploy, I’ll take your fingers first and then your life.” Yes you’re scared but really could you regret it? This was the pirate’s life. “Oh, darn. Well, I’ll at least die happily. My eyes set on the most lovely nose I’ve seen in my years of life.”

- Thinks you’re still making fun of him until a few compliments later it clicks in his head that you mean it, with no hint of sarcasm or mockery. He lets you down, immediately ordering his crew to take care of the others you came with while he returns (runs) to his quarters. He’s a little intrigued by you, willing to die for a graze of his face. He keeps you as well, not that you’re upset by it.

- Crew thinks you’re hilarious, stopping a task to gaze longingly at the captain until either he realizes in which he shoos you back to work or he walks away. You boost his ego a ton though.

- From a distance he can ignore the thoughts he knows you’re thinking but up close, when they’re said in front of the crew, other pirates, hostages. He’s been known to cover your mouth with something so he doesn’t freeze up. When yall get together though, its game over.

- The first time you licked it, he almost saw some form of god. The angel's chorus was in his ears and he couldn’t help but say a little prayer in his head about you.

- Kissing it at least 3 times a day for good luck, rubbing up and down the bridge to soothe him to sleep, nipping at it when you feel playful. Not to mention he now has your voice in his head if he ever insults it going: “That’s not true! It is like one of the top 3 of the things I love about you and if you are mean to it again then I’m gonna cut it off and keep it all day!”

- Laying in his bed just watching him go about the day when you drop a “If my memory was wiped tomorrow I hope I’d get to keep at least the picture of your nose in my head.” before just turning over and going to rest. You hear him physically stop in his tracks and then a thud, he had let go of a boot.

- He doesn’t ever want to ask for praise about his nose on the days where he feels more insecure but you can tell by the way he rubs it on your collarbone and shoulder. You immediately pull out the good old “Have I told you how dashing attractive your nose is today? I seriously would just hop on and ri-” he doesn’t let you finish the sentence, cutting you off with a kiss knowing where it’s going.

- If anyone comments on his nose, you are the first to bite back. Threatening to cut out their tongue and string it up for future people to understand their place. Then squish Buggy while speaking highly of his stunning feature and how lucky they are to see it in the first place.

- You’re kinda crazy but hey, so is Buggy and he loves that you’re insane about him and his nose.

[inoreuct]

hiii!

if youre willing could you please do (more) headcannons of (were)tiger!zoro x sanji?

or (were)tiger!zoro in general with the crew

HIIIIII YES YES ABSOLUTELY

he’s definitely very protective. if there’s one thing that can rival his tenacity for his dream, it’s his love for his crew. he knows that they can handle themselves but once the danger has passed he has to stand on his own metaphorical tail so that he doesn’t usher them all back to the ship and look them over one by one

even when he’s not a tiger he’s still vaguely cat-ish; he bristles when he feels threatened and yawns to casually put his canines on show as a subtle don’t-fuck-with-me. he just has a vaguely feline countenance to him. it’s in the way that he slinks when he walks, the head tilts when he’s focused or trying to intimidate, the way he tries to act uninterested but perks up when he’s excited 🤌🏼🤌🏼

(sanji finds it awfully endearing. he’d never admit it, though.)

the crew probably tries to keep the fact that he can shift under wraps, considering how many people would pay a pretty penny for his pelt (not that they’d succeed, but. still). HOWEVER. he’s a force to be reckoned with as a person, but if he gets mad enough even while around enemies/strangers he’ll just shift anyway and start ripping people apart with his teeth lmao, especially if his nakama need backup. the eyewitness accounts saying they saw a massive green tiger bounding across the battlefield with a sword in its mouth all sound crazy anyway 😭

i think he licks people just to fuck with them, but also to satisfy a grooming instinct. sanji definitely gets the brunt of it, since they share a bed more often than not; he’s woken up too many times to count with zoro nuzzling at his hair, or callused hands smoothing his bedhead back into place. when they’re arguing zoro will pop into tiger form and lick the hell out of sanji’s hair just to make the cook screech, but if he can tell that it’s not one of sanji’s good days he’ll cut it out because he’s a shithead, but not an asshole. come on.

DEFINITELY shifts when he’s getting yelled at. sanji or nami nagging at him? he turns into a giant tiger and flops down onto the floor to nap. sometimes he puts his paws over his ears for emphasis.

when they’re sailing through colder areas, he just watches indifferently as everybody else shivers and complains because he runs BLOODY hot and it doesn’t affect him at all. but then after dinner he shifts into his tiger form and pads around in a circle before laying down and blinks at them like …well? and they’re all scrambling curl up against him. he snaps at luffy’s fingers when luffy tries to pet his head, but luffy just goes “oop, sorry :p” and goes to sleep and, well. zoro supposes it isn’t all bad.

(he is so used to being the one pinning others down that the weight of his crew is an entirely new experience. he likes it more than he expects.)

speaking of touching. he only really welcomes sanji getting touchy-feely in his tiger form. he tolerates the occasional scratch behind the ear from luffy, because it’s luffy, but his captain knows he doesn’t really like his fur touched beyond that. enter stage right: sanji, who had the audacity to start petting zoro’s head absentmindedly while reading one of his french romance novels and using zoro as a backrest.

zoro had been purring before he even realised. then sanji had realised, and they’d both freaked out, and then zoro had scrambled up to the crow’s nest to figure out what the hell was going on. this whole incident was perhaps his biggest personal indicator that he liked sanji as more than just nakama; funny, because he hadn’t thought he’d like sanji very much at all, period.

he started paying more attention to how much he was willing to make exceptions for the cook, and sanji finally got the hint after weeks of zoro butting his head into his palm. it went something like:

sanji, scratching beneath zoro’s chin: nami, what do you mean he likes me? i do hope that he likes all of us, considering he’s— nami, about to jump overboard: you idiot. you fucking idiot. sanji, leaning against zoro’s side leisurely: nami what do you MEAN nami: HE CAUGHT YOU FISH. *pointing at the huge net full of tuna* sanji, zoro draped across his shoulders like a shawl: HE’S FEEDING THE CREW! nami, at her limit, eye twitching, so close to ripping her hair out: HE’S FEEDING YOU

mind you, throughout all of this zoro’s being absolutely useless and just sitting there incredibly amused. he hadn’t minded waiting for sanji to come around on his own, and that in itself was a sign that he’d been gone from the beginning.

sanji is the only one zoro has EVER rolled onto his back around. his belly is the most vulnerable spot on his entire body; sanji knows what a privilege it is. it’s essentially zoro’s version of puppy dog eyes.

i think he had plenty of run-ins with hunters when he was younger. his pelt is thick and vibrant and highly sought-after, and a few close shaves had left him with scars and major wariness of people in general. he used to hide the fact that he was a weretiger at all cost but now… well, now protecting his crew’s more important. s’not like they’d let anything get to him, anyway.

i see him as a wahnsien tiger, with black stripes and fur in various shades of green; he’s big, heavy too. the first time he woke up with sanji squashed beneath him he panicked a little inside but the cook was fine. his eyes are gold in his tiger form, luminous like all cats’ are, and hella unsettling.

which is interesting, because i like to think that after so many years he’s picked up a few tricks and now? he can sort of half-shift. lengthen his fangs or claws with a neat snk or make his eyes phase burning gold when he wants to scare someone; it’s a brilliant intimidation tactic but it takes a lot of concentration, so he only ever does it on home turf where they have enough territorial advantage for him to feel safe doing it.

wow okay this got LONG. i’m sure i’ll think of more but that’s all i have for now! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ANON 🫶🏼

part 1 | part 3

[chouxsardine]

Hold Me (1)--- Jake Kiszka x reader

My fic for @seenoversundown 's Valentine's Day Writing Event! I choose the prompt: Play Truth or Dare

Summary: "hold me like you hold your Les Paul, have your way with me the way you play her.” || Your drunk slip-up leads to one of the best Valentine's Day gift you've ever got

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3547

Warnings (for this part): 18+! Minors DNI, sexual implications, cursing, alcohol, dom Jake/sub reader, guitar kink, bondage, scissors, inappropriate use of guitar strap, pickle slander

Author's note: Remember I said here about a series of improper guitar use fantasy? Well, here's another one! This idea has been circling in my mind for the longest time. Happy Valentine's Day, Enjoy!

🎧: Dirty Little Religion by Warren Zevon

“Come on, y/n, you have to play by the rules. That’s only fair.”

“Oh gosh, please don’t,” you groaned, banging your forehead on the table, regretting every possible decision you have made in the last two hours.

It was a Friday night, Jake and you were throwing your very own drinking party at home. It started out with some innocent cocktails but has somehow soon turned into chugging down straight tequila. To add to the fun, you proposed an impromptu and very informal round Truth or Dare, which, looking back now, was a very bad idea. Yes, your original intention was to fish out some funny anecdotes from Jake, but woe is you—how the tables have turned. Now, you were the one facing the difficult choice between spilling your dirtiest fantasy or drinking a shot of pickle juice.

That dare was definitely devilish, and Jake was setting it up for you to fail. He knew you absolutely can’t stand pickle juice, especially when it’s that bottom-of-the-jar “essence”— evilly green and murky with all the loosened pulp and seeds floating around. Simply one look at it made you sick.

“Pick your poison, darling,” Jake said, making no effort to hide his smirk.

You tentatively reached for the shot glass but immediately gave in as its smell reached your nose. Why trouble yourself? You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t an arousing tingle inside. Simply the way Jake said the word ‘fantasy’ sounds sexy. Talking about the chokehold this man has on you. It was clear that you were fighting a losing battle. To choose something so ghastly over a little spice in the uncharted territory is just straight-up stupid. Plus, you may or may not have had a bit too much to drink. You felt positive that one simple sip of that pickle juice would make you throw up before the alcohol does.

Sensing the silence, Jake’s demeanour changed. He was more than tipsy, yes, but not to the point that it stops him from being attentive to your feelings and reactions. It was a cute, hot little thing he came up with on the spur of the moment that he thought would be fun. It wasn’t meant to put you on the spot. To make you uncomfortable and ruining the moment is the last thing he wanted.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have—”

“I’ve always—”

You opened your mouth simultaneously.

Jake took one look at you and shut up immediately. Your cheeks are flushed, your half-lidded eyes were fixed on him with a familiar look. Your left knee that was previously stretched out was now bent against your chest. Oh.

“Go on.” He whispered.

Fuck it.

“I’ve always felt jealous of your guitar, you know that? Especially when you are away on tour. The way you play it on stage, making all those girls scream for you…And that one time you fucking kissed it to make the vibration like that?” You let out a humourless laugh as your eyes narrowed, “it drives me mad.” The way you accentuate “mad” blurs its meaning, and it makes Jake wonder.

“Mad, huh? Which kind? Mad as in crazy, or mad as in angry?”

The drinking game long forgotten now that it has changed into your worship of Jake. You ignored his question completely as you continue. The words coming out much easier and at a faster pace.

“Or the way you slap it, the way you hold its neck and rock it,” all the images and videos you’ve seen are alive in your mind, overlaying with the sight of Jake right before your eyes, “the way you make her whine and scream.”

Jake’s heart skips a bit at the change of pronoun.

“Did you ever get hard while doing that?” You set down the glass on the table, got down on your hands and knees, crawling towards Jake until you were by his feet. “I bet you did. How can you not?” Jake beckoned and you straddled his lap in one swift motion, holding his face. Your eyes were glassy, your pupils dilated. “That’s when I get so jealous and….and insecure.” Jake frowned at that last word. He never thought of that.

“That’s when I wish I was there, waiting for you backstage. I want to kiss you and tell you how amazing you look up there because you deserve it,” with that, you studied Jake’s face intensely through your droopy eyes before defeatedly dropping your head onto his shoulder, your words muffled and slurred,“hell, you have no idea what I want to do to you.”

“I will if you tell me,” Jake tempted.

You pulled back, staring down at him. You caressed his cheek, your fanned breath tickling the loose strands of hair that frame his face. To Jake, you feel like a warm dessert soaked in bourbon; you looked…delicious. It was the same kind of primal desire that shares the same origin with hunger, the wild biological needs fuming. All your shame and self-consciousness unraveled by the alcohol, coming off like a corset with its ribbons pulled.

“I want you to tie me up with your guitar strap,” your eyes closed at how good it felt finally having those words freed from your mind, “I want you to hold me like you hold your Les Paul, have your way with me the way you play her.”

Jake’s jaw hung open. Damn, alcohol does makes people open up. He was not expecting you to say that and was also not expecting himself finding it so incredibly hot. Practically, whiskey dick, but mentally, he was so hard. Before he could come up with a decent response, your head dropped down again, this time with a heavier thud, and he could feel your breathing change.

“Y/n?”

No response.

He was so glad you finished that last sentence before passing out.

That was some weeks ago and you only had vague memories of the night. You knew that you must have spilled some crazy shit because since then, on several occasions, you have caught Jake staring at you. Well, it’s not like he can keep his eyes off you very often, but you can tell this is different. He would have his thumb and index fingers rubbing his chin, looking deep in thought as if composing a riff, except that his eyes are on you, and there is a predatory smugness that keeps you at your feet.

“For fucks sake, Jake. You’re doing it again! Why are you glaring at me like that?” You have tried fishing it out of him more than once.

“Secret” and a wry smile were the answers you got every time.

Luckily, he didn’t keep you waiting for too long; it was only a few days later when you finally get to find out about it.

Neither Jake nor you are the type of people who would go overboard on Valentine’s Day. In the past, it has always been a cute dinner date followed by a night that is both sweet and spicy. You could tell Jake is up to something this time. He’s been dropping subtle (or so he thought) hints throughout the day.

Evening was fast approaching. You opted for staying in and cooking. Jake made an amazing chicken piccata. (He even used heart-shaped pasta!) Dinner was quick and delicious, Warren Zevon’s record was playing in the background as you did the dishes. A pair of arms wraps around your waist as you turn off the faucet. Jake’s curls tickle your skin. He is humming to the song, and it takes you a second to realize that he was humming along with the record to the lyrics of Dirty Little Religion.

“I have a gift for you, sweetheart.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, as if his intentions couldn’t be clearer. But who says you aren’t equally (or perhaps more) excited?

“Oh love, you’ve been so good to me all day, how could I ask more from you?” You sound innocent, as if completely unaware of the implications.

“M’not asking. I’m offering. My good girl deserves all my loving.” Jake replies slyly.

Jake calling you good girl will always make you knees go weak. You turn around in his embrace and willingly accept his affectionate kiss on the lips before pulling open the dishwasher. ‘Fine. I’ll just finish up here real quick, okay?”

“Of course, and when you do, come downstairs and find me.”

You quirk your eyebrows. “Downstairs, huh?” It looks like he does has some ideas.

“And you better hurry up, sugar.” He gives you a teasing smack on the butt before turning on his heels.

Downstairs means his studio. Your steps are a bit wobbly as you reach the bottom of the stairs and your fingers shiver as they come into contact with the cool metal of the doorknob. Calm down, y/n, you could be getting all riled up over nothing; knowing that couldn’t be further from the truth, your attempt to calm down sounds pathetic. Throughout your relationship with Jake, the last thing this man ever did was disappoint. And if your nose serves you right, you detect a faint smell of magnolia in the air—the scent that was only reserved for certain occasions. God, what has Jake been planning?

On a second thought, you retrieve your hand from the doorknob, choosing to gently knock three times. A gut feeling tells me that the man of the other side of the door would prefer some manners tonight.

“Come in.”

You push the door open. The room is warm and well-lit, looking the same as usual. Jake is sitting in his Corbusier-style leather chair in the corner, fingers steepling together.

“Hmmmm, a girl with courtesy I see. Very well.” Jake commends.

Bingo. You smile coyly. Your praise kink almost made you curtsy to him.

“Already so good, perhaps I have to find something else to reward you with on top of your gift,” Jake says thoughtfully as he approaches you and pulls you in for a kiss, “but first, my princess deserves to live out her fantasy.”

Fantasy? The way Jake says it gives the word a familiar twang that triggers something in your brain. Your mind is racing as it flips through memories from the past few weeks. Looking around you, most of Jake’s guitars are hanging on the wall instead of resting on the stand. A rather odd thing for him to do. And every guitar on the wall has the strap attached, hanging below them and casting snake-like shadows on the wall.

Then it kicks in. Memories of that Truth or Dare night rushes back to you. Your drunken words replay themselves in your mind, clear and loud: “I want you to tie me up with your guitar strap.”

“Oh, Jake, you didn’t—” Your hands fly up to cover your face in embarrassment.

“Oh, but I do,” Jake laughs, taking your hands in his and thumbing them in soothing circles, “no need to be shy, love. There’s nothing shameful about having desires; it’s a very human thing to do.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. I’m so happy that you feel comfortable enough to share it with me,” Jake smile reassuringly, “and I find it hot beyond words.”

Your eyes shot up at him upon hearing it, and Jake’s gaze tells you that he is being honest. Seeing that you’ve relaxed, Jake leads you to stand right in front of his guitar display, his hands resting steadily on your shoulders.

“I’ll let you take your pick, doll. Whichever one that has the honour to have caught your eyes.”

You take a deep breath, feeling like a child in a candy store. This is not the time to get overwhelmed. Your eyes first travel greedily between the guitars, linger over their smooth curves, then you divert to the straps. Jake’s signature ’61 Les Paul SG is standing tall and proud in the middle, paired with the most often seen thin leather strap in back. Moving further right is his SG Classic with the Pinegrove brown padded strap from earlier days, and there’s the black one with the broader shoulder pad which was once used to hold a double-neck but now used on his Coodercaster. You picture them laying over Jake’s shoulder, the way they strain and slacken with his movement, the umbilical cord between his body and his creation. You also imagine the what they would look and feel when wrapped around your waist. The slightly nervous you is inching towards the brown strap—it looks so comforting with its suede texture and its wrinkled surface, and its also wider, therefore leaning towards a cuff rather than a rope when tied; however, the bolder voice obviously prefers the black one—classy, timeless, direct and succinct like a command. It’s thinner, so it might cut into your skin if you are squirming too much (which you definitely will), but isn’t that what you are after? Isn’t that the gist—pleasure mixed with pain?

Jake is being unexpectedly patient, giving you all the time you need to take it in as he resumes his previous position in the chair, admiring your predicament from afar.

“I want that one.” You blurt out finally, pointing at his black strap.

The look on Jake’s face made you suspect that he has known what you’d choose all along.

“Nice choice.” Jake comments, stepping forward to remove the strap from the guitar. You know it’s most likely in your head, but the strap looks different the second that it was detached from the instrument; now wrapped around Jake’s palm, it looks more powerful, it looks like it is determined to serve its intended purpose well for tonight.

“Now go upstairs.”

This time, the command is brusque.

Oh, so the studio is not the final destination. You feel like being on a scavenger’s hunt, following all the clues and getting more snd more excited and impatient by the second. You can’t tell if you are disappointed or relieved that you are not doing…well, whatever Jake intends to do with you…in his studio.

You hands are already touching the door when you heard him again:

“While you are up there, princess, do yourself a favour and strip down to your bra and panties.”

You gasp, but chose not to turn around.

“Yes,” you murmur just loudly enough for him to hear you, “Sir.”

Upstair in your shared bedroom, you do not know how to position your body. You are naked except for your underwear, but the room still seems too hot. You tried laying in bed in a sultry pose—too pretentious, for fuck’s sake, you’ re not shooting porn. You sat down but you kept hugging your knees to yourself—you don’t want Jake to mistake that as reluctance. You are just a bit jittery. God knows how long you’ve been fantasizing this. You tried sitting on the ottoman, but the leather kept sticking to your bum, and it wouldn’t take long before you start sweating and leaving a shame-filled imprint on the seat. You’ve always wanted this, and it’s Jake, there’s nothing to be nervous about, just do what feels best.

Alright, alright.

Following the voice in your heart, you find yourself dropping down to your knees, kneeling on the plush beige rug by the bed. You have your back against the bedroom door. You know it would be impossible for you not to look at Jake’s reaction the moment he see you in this pose, but you are also not sure if you are ready to take that reaction. To you, for now, kneeling feels the most right. For you and Jake, the dom/sub thing in bed is never explicit. Sure, he enjoys you calling him Daddy from time to time and you definitely have got him all whiny and teary for more than once, but this would be the first time that you will be trying restraints. You guess you have always had this fantasy—there’s just something about Jake and his guitar that makes your knees buckle. You are secretly thankful for your drunk slip-up, because you are not sure if you will have the courage to stare into his eyes and say those words sober, even though you know that Jake would never judge you.

The sound of the door opening interrupts your thought. The room is so quiet that you can hear a pin drop, and you are holding your breath. Therefore, even without looking, you are positive that Jake hitches his breath when he sees you. You regret a little for facing away from him. Now you want to see his expression.

“Don’t move.” As if reading your mind, Jake orders. You straighten your back. Jake approaches until he is standing right behind you.

“What a good girl.”

Something touches you. You quickly realize Jake is using the bended strap to trace random patterns on your back. You feel the looped end of the strap at your cervical spine before it circles around your scapula, from where it travels down along your spine all the way to your hipbone, dipping a little into the elastic band of your panties. Jake watches the involuntary contraction of your muscles as they react to the touch, feeling satisfied as he sees the fine hairs on the back of your neck slightly perk up.

You just breathed a sigh of relief when you feel the smooth leather again, this time reaching in front and tracing your clavicle. It stops at the little indentation between the bones, right beneath your throat and inches upwards to your chin, tilt it upward, then finding leverage on the left side of your jaw, Using it to turn your head back.

You run straightforward into Jake’s eyes, which are now the colour of melted chocolate. The dark, mesmerizing, 80% cocoa type.

Your pouty lips and puppy eyes are silently begging him for a kiss. Jake indulges, catching your bottom lip between his teeth slightly as his pulls away.

“Already tasting so sweet, angel.”

Aside from the praise, the tenderness in his tone is unvarnished. This is the voice he uses whenever he checks up on you. This is a sign that you are about to have the talk—the sweet conversation with a fraction of awkwardness before you two try out anything new that gives consent and sets up rules and boundaries.

“I…I really want this.” You pre-empt.

“That’s good to hear,” Jake chuckles. Now he has came around, sitting face to face with you. What looks like a wash bag laying beside his knees. What? He has gone and got a bag for this? You wonder what the hell he has got in there.

“I know it’s been a minute, but do you still remember our safe word?”

“Yes. It’s ‘soundcheck’.” You answer, peeling your eyes away from the bag. The safe word was something you two has settled early on in your relationship. Neither of you has been in a position that requires the use of it, but the simple fact that such a word exists and you are comfortable using it when the situations calls for is reassurance for both sides.

“Good. Use it if you need to. Since we are trying something new today, I suggest we add on to it a bit more,” Jake holds your gaze steadily as you nod, “we are going with colours. Green means all good and continue; yellow means pause, say it if you feel like it’s too much, we will take a break, check in, work things out, and you decide if you want to keep going; red is the big ‘no-no’, say it and everything, I mean everything, stops immediately, no question asked. Copy?”

“Yes, green to go, yellow to pause, and red to stop.” You repeat it back, knowing Jake always requires a clear response at this point. This is starting to sound like those naughty romance novels, although you have a secret feeling that what you’re about to experience is going to be so much better.

“Clever girl,” Jake unzips the bag and takes out a pair of scissors, showing them to you, “these are safety shears. I feel like they’re necessary if I am tying you up today. They are medical grade and they cut through everything. Whatever the reason you need out of the restraints, they get you the quick release. ”

He places the scissors in your hands. You hold on to it, finding its curved blade and matte handle consoling. “Now listen up, if it comes to that,” Jake speaks slowly, his index finger tapping your naked skin with each accentuated word, “I will cut the strap. I don’t care how long I’ve had it or how much it costs. They are nothing compared to your safety. Do you hear me, love?”

“Yes. Yes, I understand.” You heart melts at how serious he is taking this. You knew he must’ve done his research. The colour system and all. “Thank you, Jake.”

“No need to thank me for keeping you safe, doll,” Jake squeezes your hand gently, “now, are we ready?”

Part 2 out now

Yeah! you made it! Thank you SO MUCH for reading :))

any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated. I've never done a taglist before....does anyone want to be tagged for part 2?

my other works: Permission to Fall | Mariner's Complex | Ticked (all my boxes) | Love is a four-legged word | The Lucky Ones | Coming back to me | Warm Honey | He Would

[glassrowboat]

Lounge Music

Word count: 1600+

The plan, originally anyhow, was to improve the atmosphere. The bar has its regulars, the patrons that always come crawling back, but being able to draw more people on with something new has its benefits. That's what Gallagher was thinking anyway as he posted a ‘we're hiring’ sign right out front for a singer willing to work in a bar.

At first he was expecting wide eyed young ladies coming through hoping to get any shot at being on stage, to have their voice heard, and admittedly that is what he got in a way. Only two applicants showed up. A bubbly little thing who was excitedly talking about using this to make her big break and the other girl who’s first impression was to sit down and tell him he will hire her.

Well, it certainly left an impression. Enough of one to tell Gallagher that she would be a pain in his behind if he did hire her, and oh boy was he right.

○He does not appreciate your constant teasing about him looking like the type of guy to call a girl dame, especially as you pretend to hold a cigarette up to your lips to take a long drag to really sell the bit. Worst part is when he went home that night, hand ruffling through his hair in pure exhaustion as he closed the front door right behind him only to be met by his tired and worn expression and Gallagher couldn't even deny you had a point. Dammit.

○Though on that note the bar used to be a smoke where you want place as he didn't see the point in knocking that behavior out of his customers when Gallagher is guilty of such behavior himself, but that changed after you were hired. A smoking section specifically being set up in the part of the bar furthest from the stage, the sign something he taps out now when he sees a customer pull out a lighter. Did he do this because you wouldn't stop pretending to cough every time he lit a cigarette for himself? Maybe. At least it gets you to stop being so dramatic every five seconds. 

○You've introduced him to more music and artists than not. Gallagher had gotten so used to the radio playing the same few songs again and again on repeat that he'd be sick of them, so when you came in with something new ( that you're playing on his phone for some reason rather than your own) it was more like a godsend than anything. Finally, some variety.

○Gallagher will always make sure you have a glass of water right beside you in case you ever need it. He's not sure how much of a strain singing all night would even put on you, but it's definitely something, right? Especially when you have to do exercises before even going out there. 

○He won't make a remark about how your voice sounds a little hoarse after each night, not even once, but if your voice cracks one time while you're singing it's going to be held over your head for weeks. Payback is a bitch and you have to deal with it. Not like it will stop your teasing though.

○Gal will not entertain your requests to sing with you, not even as you try to drag him on stage. Funny that you thought it'd even work, but good on you for having goals. Any time you ask it's always met with an “I hired you for a reason.”

○He does not keep up with trends at all so if you decide to sing a tik tok song it will fly right over this man's head. Use this information as you will.

○You're allowed to hide behind the bar if you ever feel the need to. He'll even keep an eye on you between the drinks he makes and customers coming up with orders to make sure no one is bothering you. At first he only did this as he tried to figure out how people would respond to this change, trying to see if they liked the live music or not, but somehow it just became second nature over time. Well, maybe not ‘somehow.’ More like when he noticed you cussing someone who was clearly a few drinks too many in pestering you. 

○He has never heard a woman call another person a bitch in heat that needs to go fuck a lamppost so the can leave her alone until that day and he still finds himself laughing about it on a rare occasion.

○But yeah, anytime you want you're free to come hide behind the bar with him. It's more common than not on days when there's less people coming in, just a few faces that stick to their seats with a drink in hand as you pester him over something. Again. On one such day Gallagher took one of the drink shakers and tried to teach you a trick or two, the simplest ones he knows just to waste time. It shouldn't be that hard, right? Well that was apparently wrong as the shaker slipped out of your grasp and landed right on your head.

○It was a good thing he thought ahead and chose not to fill it with anything. 

○”You're a real clutz, aren't you?”

○And yes, Gallagher has spotted you tripping over the wire attached to the microphone more than once.

○Would walk you back to your car every night after cleaning up. It has led to you running around wiping off tables because you want to catch up on some drama you've been watching. He can't honestly keep up with the details of this show either. What do you mean this girl just ate poison and walked it off like it was nothing? Where's the context, (Y/n)?

○He never gets that context in the end.

○You get free drinks. He's more than happy to pull out a glass or mix something he's been testing out together for you even if Gallagher claims this will come out of your paycheck. It never does. 

○Now when Gallagher hears a new song a part of him can't help but wonder what it would sound like in your voice. It's worse on the days you're off, having to go back to the radio just to fill the air a bit more than just the chatter of customers and the sound of glass on wood as people set their drinks down a bit too harshly as the alcohol starts to flood into their systems. 

○Somehow, in some way, the days you're not there have just grown to feel wrong. 

Which is why it's all the better as you're back the next day, your same habit of swaying along with the beat the same as ever. Maybe he'd call you out for it later if you decided to say something weird again, but for now Gallagher simply leaned against the counter, hand raising up in a wave as someone walks through the door. Bell attached to the top of the doorframe swaying back and forth as it rings. Somehow it doesn't come across as melodic as it once did but it still draws his attention well enough. It serves its purpose, so no point getting rid of it.

“Welcome in,” he calls out, voice already getting a bit gruff from having to talk so late into the night.

In turn a familiar face greets Gallagher, an old regular that stopped dropping by sitting down in a stool before him as Gal wipes the surface off to make sure it wasn't sticky from any spilled drinks. “Been a while, hasn't it?”

“That it has. Come back here cause of another fight with the wife, James?” Something else you make fun of him for, acting as the good old fashioned bartender people come to to spill their woes. But hey, it pays the bills on his end and it's cheaper than therapy to buy a beer or two to come whining to him about what's going on. 

“You can say that again.”

“The usual?” Even as he asks that Gallagher is already grabbing a beer, James preferred brand as the familiar label flashes across His eye while popping off the bottle cap.

“Why ask if you already know?” Even with his need to roll his eyes, James picked the bottle up, bringing it up to his lips for a quick chug. “It's clearly been a while since I've been here. The woman up on the stage is new.”

“(Y/n).”

“Okay, (Y/n) is new.” James leaned back into his chair to look at the woman, watching as you toyed with the cable attached to the mic between your fingers, letting it go round and round in circles between each word sung. “It's an improvement I'd say. Makes this old place a bit more lively.”

“She's certainly become a bit of a fan favorite.” 

“One you can't take your eyes off of.”

Gallagher could barely help the sigh falling from his lips at that, not exactly enjoying being called out so blatantly. Maybe a smoke would be nice, get his mind off this stuff just like he's been doing these past few weeks whenever that mischievous smile sneaks its way into his mind. “Just drink.”

He can decide what this all means later, but for now Gallagher can sit back and listen to your voice flooding over the bar and just like always, as this place shuts down for the night, he'll walk you back to your car and pretend he doesn't want to do more than tell you to get home safe.

“Can I still tell you about what bull my wife said this time?”

“Yeah, yeah, man. Just go ahead.”

[apclyptc]

hey.

so i haven’t written anything in a while. i have two drafts that are completely unfinished and i just cannot think of a single word to continue them. honestly im just not feeling it anymore. the adhd is a true hobby killer.

with that being said…

THIS VIDEO HAS IGNITED THE APCLYPTC RENAISSANCE. IN ALL MY LIFE I HAVE NEVER NEEDED A MANS DICK IN MY THROAT SO BADLY. I HAVE NOT STOPPED SCREAMING SINCE HE POSTED THIS. NO SERIOUSLY IM SCREAMING RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

i’m being so fr. any and every man i have ever been with is nothing but a shadow in comparison to this man. a guillotine could not stop the head i would give him. all sloppy n shit. i need him so bad its not even funny anymore

i’m so fired up i think i could write 20k words if i really wanted to. expect several updates from me in the coming weeks.

—yours sincerely, a woman who is most definitely coming up to the ovulation stage of her reproductive cycle and just needs a really good fucking from the aforementioned man above.

[johnnys-breastmilk]

NSFW Alphabet List - Johnny Slaughter x GN!Reader edition

a/n — nsfw list as promised! this one is significantly darker than the sfw list. I attempted to make it as gender neutral as possible!

warnings — please be aware that this alphabet list contains dark contents. dark!Johnny Slaughter, knife play, murder, implications of stalking, consensual non-con, blood play, general violence, necrophilia, dismemberment, choking kink, hunting kink, smut, 18+

don't like? don't read. I may have posted this, but I am not responsible for your media consumption. Keep scrolling if any of that sounds like it may be triggering.

A — Aftercare

Johnny isn’t the best at aftercare, and he doesn’t really try at all. It’s like a jarring personality change as he becomes cold to you when he’s finished. He’ll waddle from his bed to his fridge and return with a beer and softly sip it as he tries to listen to the music playing on the radio. If he’s been rough with you, he’ll make sure you can at least bandage yourself before minding his own business.

B — Body Part

Johnny loves his hands. He loves unraveling you with only two fingers, or wrapping both of his hands around your neck for some more intense moments. You usually end the night with the early stages of bruising around your neck from how hard he’ll squeeze. 

Your favorite part about him is his back. It’s so scratch-able while he fucks you and insanely easy to hold onto thanks to its definition.

C — Cum 

Johny’s not one to play with it, he just likes to cum in or on you—though, he rather prefers the latter to mark you with it—and then help you clean it up after. He loves cumming on your back or on your face the most.

D — Dirty Secret

While he doesn’t love to play with cum, he does love to play with blood. He loves to run his knife along you, carefully cutting into your skin to let you stain his bedsheets. He’ll watch blood perforate the small cuts and how the blood runs down your skin like teardrops until he swipes it up with his finger. He’ll taste it, flashing a bloody smirk as his teeth are already stained with your bloodletting. Sometimes, he marks tallies on your body with it for how many loads he’s pounded into you so far. 

He loves when it coats his body—his dick, specifically. The way it feels against his skin. The way he watches your holes turn red, blushing almost, at his primal nature.

E — Experience

Johnny is plenty experienced in the world of sex. Mostly, he’s experienced in pleasuring himself. He had numerous stints where he’d hook up with the people passing through Newt as a young adult, and that, cobbled together with his own self-exploration, led to him being able to do what he can do now. He can make you cum just from how much he’s trying to get himself off.

F — Favorite Position

His favorite position is to fuck you in is the mating press. It allows him to go as deep as he wants into you while looking at your face, his hands able to easily slip around your neck while he’s fucking you. It’s primal and leaves nothing in his way for him to go as fast or as hard as he wants.

G — Goofy

For the most part, Johnny is pretty serious. He wants to get in and get out, to get pleasure from fucking you and then go on with his day. He wants to get the job done, because his family has conditioned him to be anything less than perfect. The only funny parts come from his own actions, like when he talks to himself to hype himself up or is trying way too hard to be serious in the moment. He'll loosen up after it's all said and done, though.

H — Hair (body hair)

We’ve all seen him shirtless. Johnny lets his body hair grow, but he doesn’t have much to offer. He has a light coating of hair over his thighs that thickens up when you reach his crotch. The carpet matches the drapes, though, and his hair down there is unkempt. It’s too much work to use all those “fancy tools” to keep it clean, and if you don’t like it, there’s always a way to convince you.

I — Intimacy

The violence mentioned above is one of Johnny’s many ways of being romantic. He has a fucked up sense of love, and that’s just one of the byproducts of his upbringing, but he can be sweet in the traditional sense. There are times when he gives you a break, whether he’s feeling romantic or if you ask for it, he’ll take things easy when you want something less intense. 

J — Jackoff

Johnny has a pretty high libido, but he has his responsibilities that keep him away from you. He doesn’t love doing it since playing around with you has made him cum harder than his hand ever could.

K — Kink

Johnny has a hunting kink. It’ll usually start in his shack, he’ll ready himself with no more than a knife and his wits while he ties your hands together and blindfolds you. He’ll help you into his pickup truck and drive out to some field, going for a different spot every time. His favorite time to go is when the sun is starting to set and you’re caught in a golden glimmer of an untended field. Johnny will usually lead you out far enough so that you can’t see the road or his truck, then undo your blindfold and shut his eyes. He’ll start counting to let you know that you have to run, and then the fun begins.

He also has a knife kink. He loves trailing the same blade he’s cut up a thousand people and animals with to trace over your body, debating on whether he should sink the blade into your softer parts like it’s butter or carve his name into you. He isn’t sure how permanent your relationship is yet, so he wants to wait on that.

Lastly, he has a choking kink. Sure, his knife can do wonders and make your body a bloody, painted mess, but nothing beats what two hard-working hands can do. He loves pinning you up against the wall while he’s fucking you, pressing you back against it with one hand wrapped around your neck. If he’s fucking you on his bed, then he’ll use two hands to keep himself steady and control your breathing at the same time. He adores looking down on you, your eyes fluttering and looking weakly up at him as your mouth strains out each moan.

There’s also necrophilia, but he’s stopped that since he met you.

L — Location

Johnny’s not a prude. He can get it on no matter how dirty it is—even if it’s a dirty sunflower field.

M — Motivation

Johnny loves to see how willing you are. He’s used to dealing with victims who scream and cry and beg, and so he grows tired of it sometimes. If he returns to his shack and you’re eager to do the deed with him, he’ll waste no time undoing his belt buckle.

N — No (His turn off basically)

Asking him to be tame. The extreme is his normal. He wants to have primal, animalistic sex with you.

O — Oral

He loves receiving and being the one in control. Though, he will go down on you just to see squirm as he teases you about whether or not to cum. He loves to edge you but hates when you deny him release.

P — Pace

This one could go either way. If Johnny’s fresh off a hunt—whether he was “hunting” you or his actual prey—he’ll play it fast and loose. His thrusts will be sloppy and hard and done without much care with bloodlust filling his eyes. If it’s a night of spending time together in his shack, he’ll take it slow and steady.

Q — Quickie

Johnny adores watching you writhe under him, and quickies don’t provide that satisfaction. He’ll make do with the time he has, but he would rather save it for when he can focus all of his attention on you and him.

R — Risk

He does like to explore, but if it makes him uncomfortable in any way, then he’ll immediately ban it from being brought up again. 

S — Stamina

This is another one that depends on the mood he’s in. If his hunts were successful, then you can bet your ass that he’ll be pumping load after load into you for as long as the night lasts, but if it went poorly, he might not be up for it at all. Without hunting, he can usually go two or three rounds before needing to take a breather.

T — Toys

Given the time period, Johnny’s only toys are simply the ones he makes himself. Though, he didn’t have many. One time, he kept a victim’s head in the freezer for a few days when he thought they were really pretty and almost felt guilty for tearing such beauty away from the rest of its body. Needless to say, he felt pretty hot and bothered and needed some kind of relief, so he used their head as a fleshlight.

U — Unfair

As mentioned above, Johnny loves to leave you hanging. He loves to leave you wanting him while he’s perfectly satisfied after each sexual encounter with him.

V — Volume

Johnny’s pretty loud and vocal when it comes to sex. He quips a lot about how good you take his dick and that you’re his “perfect little fucktoy.” He usually grunts instead of moaning, but he has moments when you make him feel so good that he can’t help but make a noise you thought you’d never hear come out of his mouth. His shack is far enough away from the other family homes that he doesn’t have to worry about how loud he is, either.

W — Wild Card

He loves car sex. He’s taken you in many of the defunct cars on Nancy’s property because each is a different experience. The interiors of each vary wildly, some having vinyl seats, others having leather, and a few having cloth. All of them are different colors and range in their condition.

He loves having sex in his old pickup, too. He’s taken you in the bed and even made you suck him off while he was driving. He had one hand on the wheel, an eager foot on the gas, the open road, and the other hand was on the back of your head. Life felt fuckin’ amazing for him in that moment.

X — X-Ray

Johnny is packing an impressive seven inches, which makes for the perfect counterweight for everything he’s carrying in the back. His dick is fairly thick as well, and he is cut with a pretty pink tip. His balls hang decently low and swing when he walks.

Y — Yearning

Johnny spends most of his days hunting or fixing up cars—working up a sweat and pushing his head to the limit with hunting strategies and the puzzling assembly of various cars. He spends all day out in the Texas heat, so he needs to blow off steam almost every day. More often than not, he’ll go at it with you multiple times in one day. 

Z — Zzz

Not very quickly. Johnny usually does his routine of getting up for a beer, turning on the radio for some background noise, and getting you bandages or ice depending on how rough he’s been before settling back into bed with you. If something’s really bothering him he might share it with you, but otherwise, he embraces the silence.

[prettytranzboy]

You were a stripper at some country club, when you look inside you can tell that it was a farm theme and the stripper were animals.

You dressed in cow print outfit (the blonde male at the top) you were in the back getting ready to go on while chatting with some of the males in the room.

"did you see that guy in the blue? He looks so hot!"

"Nevermind him, haven't you seen the guy in the front with the green eyes? hes so handsome but he's married..."

"That never stopped you from ruining a mans life"

"I didn't know he was married though! That's the only time thing!"

You giggled before getting up, you were taller then the rest plus wearing heals you are about 6'4.

"Its my time, I'll be going boys~"

Before going up, men cheer for you until you started dancing on your pole. about 30 min later, your show was over and both your panties and bra were fill with cash. You were one of the many who made tones of cash. before you left you glanced at the bar tender, he was wearing and a thong plus bull ears and tail.

You quickly walk of stage once both of you made eye contace, you had a cruch on him, you didnt know his real name just his stage name 'Big Bull' and he was definitely big alright. His cock was huge you dreamed of sucking it as you try to take every inch down your throat.

"The bartender is so fucking hot, I just need his dick down the throat-"

As you were fangirling over him and his dick you didnt know he was eves droppng on you and he heard everything but left before he got caught.

A few shows later you headed to bar with Mr'Big Bull' you still can getting over that name.

"Hi Bull~ hows your night going?? Get hit on by twinks again~?"

"Ha ha very funny M/N, the bar has been going slow. Maybe cause of your dancing, you got all the man drunk for you~"

"Stop tease me! They may be hot but there not my type."

"You don't like a cowboy? Thats a shocker, a cow like you needs a cowboy in their life~"

"And what of i don't want one? What if I want someone... bigger~"

"Now look who's the tease now, you can't lie that you want me baby~ I heard what you said backstage about me~"

"H-huh? I don't know what your talking about!"

You start to get nervous

"But didn't you say " The bartender is so fucking hot, I just need his dick down the throat and fill me up like a good little cow boi that I am~" did you not say that darling~?"

"I-"

You were out of word, all you felt was embarrassment wash over you like a fucking wave.

"And don't try to deny it, I don't like bad boys~ you better be good~"

"Y-yeah I said it so what~"

"Come around the bar and get on your knees right in front of me slut~"

You did as you were told, you weren't gonna pass this chance up anytime soon. As soon you were on the other side, you and just see his bulge about to burst out of his thongs. You got on your knees, the floor was cold against them but that was the least of your worries right now.

"What are you waiting for darling, be a good boy and suck me off~"

You quickly took his thong off and his dick sprung out and hitting you on the nose. It was even bigger than you ever thought, it was intimidating.

"Suck it boy, don't make me force you baby~"

His cock pressing against your lips, you could taste the saltiness for it. You had no choice but to take it in, slowly easing it your mouth. You get more of the salty taste yet you didn't mind it at all, all you wanted was to please him.

"Fuuuck! Such a good boy, your such a good cow boi~"

That's right your a good boy, such a good boy for the 'Big Bull' himself~