#this is going to be the saving grace of being so stressed about finals rn

[lesbianpegbar]

goodnight gay people in my phone the guy i like asked me to have dinner with them tomorrow. lesbianism wins peace and love <33333

[anachronistic-falsehood]

cellbit dsmp.... could be a saving grace or a living nightmare depending on when he joined

like early l'manberg? saving grace. He's got the paranoia that cWilbur had yet to earn, I genuinely think there's a good chance he would have been able to spot Eret going turncoat. And it wouldn't have hurt to have a guy who could actually fight in this faction (cccellbit's pvp abilities aren't that noteable but qcellbit is a renowned killer so we can pretend). Maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe the Final Control Room would spare some lives, leaving Wilbur or Fundy or Tommy or Tubbo with one extra

But if he joined during elections era? More complicated. Just looking at how he was during the QSMP elections, I think he might have been a SWAG supporter? Non-zero chance that he would have been cQuackity's vice president, which is funny to me. Also, based on how he tried to handle the Federation I think that when/if Schlatt won he would stay in L'Manburg and try to spy, leading to a Manburgian cabinet like

Tubbo 🤝 Fundy 🤝 Cellbit: I Sure Hope They Don't Realize I'm The Only Spy Here

If he joined when Pogtopia v. Manburg was already in full swing, I think he would have gone for Pogtopia. cWilbur spends the whole time thinking he's an assassin hired to kill him and is just waiting for that knife to the neck. Never happens, though. He's on board with the Kill Schlatt cause, if not Wilbur being in charge- not personal, but he wouldn't want himself to be in charge either, and he has objections to Wilbur on similar grounds. Which probably makes things just that bit more stressful and worse, in the long run

For the life of me I can't figure out how he'd feel about the Butcher Army stuff

Would have supported cQ eating Schlatt's heart 100%. In general I think he and cQuackity would vibe, no matter where he appears on the timeline. If he joined before November 16th he'd understand the weight of Q eating Schlatt's heart and be tactful about it, but if he joined after he'd be like. A fellow enjoyer of cannibalism! What are the odds! And just assume that they had a shared hobby, not knowing that was a one-time thing

Could have quite the time getting possessed by The Egg

There's no way that he has a good reaction to the prison torture stuff, no matter what happens. Actually really interested about what he'd think of it, being on the one hand someone who suffered in the prison system, and on the other hand considering how he reacted to BBH capturing Ron. Non-zero chance he could get onboard and involved. Just depends on when he joins and how much he knows about the guy

I think Las Nevadas would unsettle him and if he joined as late as s3 I think he wouldn't go for any of the factions. Might put that paranormal research to use and go against The Egg

And also if he'd been there during ho16 he would have gotten a folding chair or something to put on that pressure plate. Bam. No Ranboos were harmed in this pyschocompetitive rivalry

OH this is an older ask but i am rotating it in my mind on loop rn. i am THINKING about this. ik i talked about cellbit being around for lmanberg but i like to imagine he would have joined around the time ranboo and puffy did, right after nov 16. he never knew wilbur as he was and met ghostbur a handful of times, which would make him meeting revivebur later on sooo much more interesting. he would be so standoffish with this guy. like oh you're the guy i keep getting compared to. nice to finally met you. so i heard you blew yourself the fuck up and destroyed your country and made your father kill you. what was that about huh. and wilbur would HATE him he would detest this man. you know how when two people are so similar but just different enough that they clash horribly??? that's them. they go about things the same way but have very different things that they want to do so they disagree on everything and are equally stubborn about it. they would drive everyone around them INSANE.

and if we're keeping cellbit's backstory the same as q!cellbit's then he's already got a history with bbh, so he might be tempted to join the badlands. he would LOVE the egg arc omggg he would go crazy for that shit. he would be obsessed. since cc!cellbit wanted to be a villain when he joined the qsmp (and got distracted by Gay Roleplay) i think he would love to act the part of an egg infected villain :3 i like to think the egg would be able to sense his bloodlust and try to manipulate him into helping it. and i think he would for a bit!! whether he's actually infected or just pretending so he can gather information and betray them later, idk, but he'd certainly play a part in the eggpire somehow, that's for sure. he'd fit right in with them :3

HOWEVER i do think that after the red banquet, or even during it, he would denounce or betray the eggpire (which would be insane, imagine hannah betraying the pro-omlette team and then cellbit immediately going HA YOU THOUGHT!! and betraying the eggpire, the plot twist would be crazy) and i think he would join the syndicate right after. he'd be sooo good in the syndicate i am so serious. cellbit himself is kinda friends with ranboo and they click so well so i think they would have a great time roleplaying together!!! imagine him escaping to the end with the rest of the syndicate +kristin AAAAAA syndicate cellbit...... save me syndicate cellbit

and i would LOVE to hear the insane homoerotic way wilbur would write him into hitting on 16. you KNOW cellbit would be involved in las nevadas/the burger van arc somehow. we'd have a three way homoerotic psychocompetetive rivalry going on. idk what he would even do to get involved but you just know he would involve himself somehow. i think quackity and wilbur would fight over him a little bit and cellbit would be a little shit and tell them he'd join the country/faction of whichever of them could give him the best offer in terms of riches or weapons or other benefits or whatever and then he'd leave them to fight. he loves stirring shit up <3 but i think he would get involved because he'd be friends with ranboo and wants to make sure they're doing okay. the syndicate sticks together!!!! i do think he'd ultimately get more involved with las nevadas as cquackity's vice bc i think cq would offer him a chance to torture cdream in prison and cellbit would be like. absolutely vibrating with excitement. he would accept immediately. when cq is tired he sends cellbit in his place and cdream DREADS those days, bc at least quackity is methodical and clean with his torture. cellbit just goes absolutely ham and gets very close to killing him multiple times. oh cellbit would have such a blast beating the shit out of dream <3

[yukisdomain]

kenjaku, sukuna, uraume 2, 11, 18, 20, 23, 28; yuuji - 2, 11, 12,13, 24, 29

Thanks for the ask! This is going to be a loooong post.

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

Kenjaku: After I started posting about them. At first I thought they provided enough material to joke about, but now I genuinely enjoy their character. The thing is, I binge read most of the jjk manga so I didn't get to fully process a lot of things until I was forced to slow down.

I enjoy brainiac characters who like testing the limits and think outside the box. If they were a better person, they'd be my type hahahah

Sukuna and Uraume: I don't feel strongly about either of them. Naoya and Mahito make me feel more mad than Sukuna, so yeah, he could definitely be less of a basic villain. Uraume is his saving grace in my opinion. I like them better

Yuuji: Immediately. The baby boy is too good and pure for this world, definitely didn't deserve all that crap happening to him.

11. What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

Kenjaku: "Mastermind"

Sukuna: "Heh, you could do better worse"

Uraume: "Simp"

Yuuji: I don't think, i melt, he's too cute

12. Sexuality hc!

Yuuji: Too oblivious to notice whenever he likes a guy ("we're very good friends!"). Yeah, he's bi.

13. Your favorite friendship they have

Yuuji: His friendship with Todo, it's funny watching him run away

He's a genuine friend to everyone he's ever befriended, so it really depends on the other party. While he and Megumi have their moments, I think Megumi is still way too stiff around him, so Yuuji and Nobara

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

Kenjaku: too curious for their own good. Probably had shown signs of psychopathy early on but has learnt how to hide them and adapt to their surroundings as they grew up

Sukuna: bratty, noisy because he wanted attention, maybe misunderstood, kinda cruel

Uraume: that weirdo in the corner that watches your every move and is very obvious they are judging you despite their blank expression. Very quiet, nobody hears them getting closer so when people finally notice Uraume it scares the crap out of them. Basically could serve as an inspiration for those weird kids in horror movies

20. A weird headcanon

Kenjaku: Boy, can they walk in heels. Can do some competitive acrobatics level shit in them, no joke. However, they see their skill as nothing special and are confused by those who are mesmerised by it. Kenny still prefers flat footwear

Sukuna: Heard rap music while being in Yuujj body, liked it, could rap super fast if he wanted to. Spoiler alert: he doesn't

Uraume: they know how to knit and do that as a stress reliever. Whenever someone dares to tease them about it they just stab them with one of the needles (or both).

23. Future headcanon

Kenjaku, Sukuna, Uraume: Kenny will show up only to annoy the other two.

I'm sorry I'm not getting into it more, but the post is already long and I can't think of anything else rn. I'm just trying to enjoy the manga as it is

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Yuuji: Junpei

Ok besides, you know, I think he has a hard time talking about his emotions. He processes them on his own and then brings up the conclusion he's come up with, for example that he has to die, or that he can't go back to jujutsu high after everything he (sukuna) has done. He doesn't speak of his loneliness, or how scared he is or whatever he feels in general.

Speaking of which, I doubt he'd be able to speak about liking someone/being in love too. Maybe with Nobara, but only if she's suspicious and really presses him about it.

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Kenjaku: There's plenty because: 1) they are old and 2) they have the 'let's fuck around (sometimes quite literally) and find out' attitude from time to time. But knowing them, they probably got someone pregnant and later realized it was for nothing (them and their pregnancy fixation smh)

Sukuna: waited for Yuuji to switch back after he defeated the finger bearer lol

Uraume: Gave their best to prepare a meal for Sukuna that he didn't want to eat. I can't imagine Uraume doing anything other that because they are very efficient and wouldn't want to waste time

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

Yuuji: the most loving, supportive (and confused) dad ever. If he had a daughter and she gave him the puppy look, he'd be a goner in mere seconds. He'd be strict very rarely and in that scenario his kids would have know they really fucked up. Like "we made dad mad... damn". Yeah, I headcanon that he'd have more than one kid for sure. He'd be forgetful (not saying he'd forget one of his kids somewhere lmao) and wouldn't be able to multitask for the life of him. But his children would prefer his cooking over their other parent's.

I think I covered everything. Sorry for the wait, have a nice day :)

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 14 - Belgium

So I remember sweet f all from Spa, bc I’m pretty sure that was around the time of both family stress, and my parents catching covid, so this and the next two races are total blanks to me bc I was both not on tumblr much and didn’t watch any of Channel 4 highlights.

(I mean I’m also running on the assumption that Verstappen won bc that’s almost all he did last year).

So let’s just jump in and hope Seb and Lewis had a somewhat fun time

I am highkey dreading this race, Zandvoort and Monza bc I have NO IDEA what happened so like these combined could be six hours I never get back

at least Seb looks pretty in the intro

As I also watched Spa 2021 I’m glad I have context for whatever that race was.

ANYWAY, starting grid:

Mick P19 :(

why the fuck is Charles in 15th????

NICKY P11, GOATIFI

Seb and Lance top 10 😭🙌

how on Earth did Alex get 6th in quali?! (I mean, the ultimate good for him, but HOW?!)

I’m really going to have to start looking up quali results before I press play to avoid all this whiplash bc I didn’t even notice Sainz on pole aovhaeog

[Start/Lap 1]: Perez almost driving into Alonso at the start aegehg 

���A brilliant start from Sebastian Vettel” THAT’S MY BOYYYYYYYYY

oh fuck me Lewis on Fernando violence

so Lewis does not have a fun time in this race then 😭

The racing gods giveth (Seb up into P5) and the racing gods stab you in the chest (Lewis DNF)

[Lap 2]: The way you can literally see the Ferrari bouncing up and down the straight. Yikes.

NICKY NO don’t take out Val like that

cut to a solitary Lewis by his car. Does not spark any joy.

Thank fuck we have a replay bc WHAT WERE THOSE TWO LAPS?!

Seb’s start was bloody gorgeous though. KING SHIT.

but yeah... no F1 car should be flung up into the air like that with any kind of contact.

Oh not even Lance and Seb being violent on the first lap. Everyone left their braincells at home it seems.

[Lap 4]: Charles making his first pit stop bc pain I guess????

Seb being in 5th is the race’s only saving grace rn

...there was a tear off in one of Charles’ front breaks is2g I’ll start causing violence next

right safety car coming in, I paused to grab some chocolate for emotional support snacking.

oh boy Charles doing his own strategy calls and you know what I trust him more than the Ferrari pitwall

[Lap 5]: Perez v Russell v Alonso. I AM IN DISTRESS

“Then comes Sebastian Vettel” INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS

I mean he’s just there in P5 vibing but GO ON SEB!!!

Verstappen already into P6 after starting 14th

oh no don’t cut to a solitary Lewis I’m sad again

[Lap 6]: ALEX??? PASSING A McLAREN????

What is going on in the House of Commons

Seb drops to P6

[Lap 7]: Jesus that shot of Verstappen closing on Alonso really shows how strong the RB18 was last year.

“We are for Plan B” Please... I’m not strong enough I am already at my limit 😭

[Lap 8]: Verstappen already into P3. If I speak.

also my emotional support chocolate had been devoured.

Charles passing Gasly at the bus stop chicane? Nice.

[Lap 10]: Okay I think the race has finally settled down now, apart from Charles making his way up through the field

I’m still this close to asking for a refund though

Clinging onto Seb in P6 and Lance in P9 with both hands rn

cut to Jacky Ickx, watch Ferrari disrespect his presence with more clownery

[Lap 11]: Ignoring potential RBR team orders and focusing on Seb being almost a second behind Alonso

oop Sainz pits, tbf comms have been talking about high tracks temps so no wonder people are complaining about high deg

[Lap 13]: Oh Verstappen got past Perez. 

anyway, Charles up to P6!!

“Could George Russell undercut Perez” oh I hope so I’ll take anything at this point

Seb also pits, it was slow 😭

[Lap 15]: Charles being a little bit unhinged trying to get past Perez, I support his right to go feral

“We are considering Plan D” I WILL BURN DOWN MARANELLO

No, I’m not kidding. I’ll call it a belated Ides of March.

Russell v Charles 👀

whew he actually got past on the kemmel straight!

George said I’ll avenge Lewis by dragging the W13 places it doesn’t deserve to be

[Lap 17]: SEB INTO P8!!! LET’S GET IT

I’m also acknowledging Ferrari putting Charles on Plan D and moving on

MICK PASSING NICKY UP EAU ROUGE!!! A KING!!!!

[Lap 18]: ...and Verstappen retakes the lead

“Hasta la Vista Carlos” eafuvhefuawh okay Brundle I’ll give you that one right it was funny

oh Seb is on the hards. I do not know how to feel about that.

[Lap 19]: Alpha Tauri finally remember to pit Yuki

“Why would we stop now” A very good question Charles, you tell em

[Lap 21]: I’m actually glad Seb is holding the gap to Alonso ahead bc I still haven’t recovered from the first lap

And Perez passes Sainz like he’s just taking a stroll

oooh Lance passes Galy round the outside of the the chicane for P11, noice

[Lap 23]: It’s me I’m the unimpressed McLaren garage

also thank fuck we’re past half-distance

Lance v Dan up Eau Rouge??? BOYS THINK OF MY NERVES

[Lap 25]: Seb watch: he has really closed up to Alonso, I’m stress

[Lap 26]: oh looks like we’re gonna get another pitstop shuffle *cue Disco music*

oh fuck Ferrari are double stacking

okay it wasn’t awful

[Lap 28]: Oh dear potential Canadian on Canadian violence.

Anyway Seb’s in P5 so I think we should end the race and call it a day

[Lap 31]: Charles closing up to Seb, my Ferrari boys 😭

oh and here we are with a Charles onboard

not surprising that was an easy pass, nice to see my lads briefly reunited though

[Lap 33]: Russell hunting Sainz for sport, gap down to just over 4 seconds

[Lap 34]: Seb pits, he couldn’t make the 1 stop work I guess 😔

but still in the poinnnnnnnnnnts!!!!!

[Lap 35]: and he passes Gasly for P7!!!!

oh shit he got double French tag teamed

asdfghjkl Ocon with the double slipstream, maximum zoom

[Lap 36]: Sainz v Russell watch: gap down to under 3 seconds

oh jeez not Brundle calling the Merc a Williams asvhauvhuhu

[Lap 37]: a 4 car battle for P10 you say? 👀

Midfield spice (beloved)

[Lap 38] I can’t believe it took this long to make reference to the Great Contract Drama of Summer Break 2022. I may have been tuned out of a lot of the races last year but boy was last Summer Break the most hilarious

“It’s too late for Plan G” McLaren???? Don’t take lessons from Ferrari I BEG

[Lap 39]: Alex having the best time being a train conductor as he clings onto P10. Pet power!!

[Lap 40]: I’m still trying to get my head around Verstappen going from P14 to P1 in the dry like ?????

Like yes I will acknowledge that Verstappen is a good driver, but jeez man

[Lap 42]: ANYWAY, Seb still in P8, please Spa give me something in the way of joy

Sainz v Russell watch: gap holding at 2 seconds so I think Ferrari are going to escape Spa with a podium

and cut to a replay of Yuki passing Zhou before the bus stop chicane

[Lap 43]: I was about to question why they were pitting Leclerc, but it’s to try and get fastest lap.

oh jeez but Alonso is right there. 

And he passes Charles. Clowneria Ferrari strikes again.

There is not a big enough facepalm emoji.

[Lap 44/Finish]: oh phew Charles got past Alonso on the Kemmel straight

and Sainz holds onto P3. Props to George for trying though.

Charles didn’t even get fastest lap. And he got a 5 sec penalty for speeding in the pitlane so he drops to P6 🥲

but anyway SEB POINTS!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!

Seb finished in P8 and nothing else happened idk what any of you are talking about.

Ugh yeah I’m trying to not let my personal attachment to some drivers affect my thought on the race but... oof my friends. This didn’t spark that much joy. Granted, there was a somewhat decent amount of action, but the first two laps were not fun to watch. So I’ll give it a tentative 6 front wings out of 10. Next race - Zandvoort! 

[6okuto]

Hcs for felix & mc during the time between CH 11 & 12?? 👀 what do u think they got up to,,,has felix been horny for mc the ENTIRE TIME??? WHAT ABOUT HIS DEPRESSION GIRL HELP IM SO SAD

— felix and mc between chapters 11 and 12

warnings: erm.. angst. horny. note from nia: anon fantastic news there is almost never a moment where felix is not horny! he was infatuated by mc and now he finally has someone to direct it to. horny depression combo. EDJFGJH /hj. /HJ. but everyone who said he knew what he was doing putting on that outfit was Right you should be loud and be proud . i went overboard i don't know what happened to the hcs i got overwhelmed with felix angst i'm so sorry i am not ok

distraction time...you know how he said he wanted to take mc on a date. first of all, :headinhands: . second of all, i want to think mc was able to take him somewhere. his favourite bookstore maybe...for a walk...just a quiet place without many people around

he probably felt guilty about being so upset and y'know,, it not being the dream first date he wanted. but mc was just like "nope. i don't need a perfect first date or anything, felix. i just want you to know i'm here for you and to help you feel better" SMH SMH

maybe they'll have a canonical real first date later. consider these unofficial outings

fr though i don't even want to imagine felix realizing he can't use his magic. like the devastation of that scenario...help girl..."magic was all i had, all i was ever good at" and he can't even keep his favourite flower bloomed? :/ like the insecurity and genuine depression that would bring me . having mc was a saving grace

i'd think that felix, after some rest y'know, would try to do something he could usually do. even something he'd use as a warmup after exhausting himself and then he just..couldn't.

so he kept trying to do smaller and smaller things and god why is nothing working?

depressive episodes r such Ass and felix seems like the kind of person to struggle with wanting to isolate himself and also wanting mc to just,, hold him and tell him it'll be alright

i'm pretty sure he mentions them bringing him food and generally just being very helpful which is </3 i am so sad. he seems to dislike being reliant on people and :// mc is really helping him work through that

they definitely spent a lot of nights together trying to figure out what had happened to him. mc would not let him stay up alone because he'd probably spiral or stay up too late and feel worse without them

break from the pain: he still goes down in the middle of the night for his olives. actually mc brings it to him themself. he laughs

asian parent bringing up cut up fruit except your partner brings your coping mechanism olives HLESDFSOI

bath . b. bath. bath :thumbs_up: they took more baths together. it's warm and comforting and how are you going to be sad while i put suds in your hair to make you laugh

perhaps mc, seeing how terribly stressed he is, decides to read a book to him. even ask how taxidermy works. what his favourite projects were. things that don't. involve magic.

time to be sad again. he'd try to do simple spells while he was alone and every time he failed he'd get more and more frustrated which eventually boils into. sadness

and the mark would just continue to grow and he'd feel worse. before wearing the new ch 12 outfit where it's visible,, he couldn't even bring himself to look at it in the mirror :/

my god. imagining felix having a genuine breakdown at his desk just crying and venting about how useless and weak he feels and how he feels like nothing and how sorry he is to mc for being this way and having to deal with him and maybe if he was stronger maybe if he could stop messing up and tried harder and he just keeps going and going

help. sorry.

that's grounds for a completely separate hurt comfort scenario. i will tell you rn it ends with him clutching mc almost impossibly close and maybe just maybe accidentally saying i love you (i want a canonical i love you HAS THAT HAPPENED YET? but that scenario would be quite silly and fun if he did it!!!)

suggestive/nsfw starting Now // but also with all the time together and comfort and kisses and shit he was probably on the verge of losing it because Help Him He Is So Down Horrendous

like,, building off that breakdown scene. he wakes up and he's like oh god that really happened and then he looks and their face is(/lips are) so close and he's like oh god.

i would not be shocked if they made out multiple times. not even a little bit. once felix was getting more accustomed to their new routine y'know. ermmm smth smth strong emotions smth smth

i don't fully doubt that the mark is actually uncomfortable but no way in hell that was the only reason he put on that outfit. he sat there putting on the corset then started getting these images in his head of mc kissing him again and touching his chest and taking it off himself and there he goes to shove his face into a pillow absolutely flustered and sweating

WHY WOULD YOU NEED A CORSET FOR THAT OTHER THAN TO SLUT OUT

sorry.

his little smut books are on the bookshelf and he passes by that section while trying to research and he physically tenses up. has to lean his forehead against the wall telling himself to get it together. poor guy

once his horny TM overrode his depression TM then mc asked if he wanted to take a bath together again and he yelled No.

sorry but "All I can think of is you. You're on my mind every waking hour. I ache terribly for you...I want you to hold me, and touch me, and..." WHAT!!!! AND WHAT !! fuck. you want to fuck say it with your chest dear god.

that was obviously being pent up for so long he probably got caught staring at them multiple times.

insert cliche scene where their hands brush each other while reaching for a book and they make eye contact like [ ?@?@!# ]

they were both emotionally all over the place. mc is not innocent here mx. check your chest & "i want you to crack me open like one of your books" EXCUSE ME! yeah? what else mc? you want him to pin you down? you want him to try one of his favourite book scenes on you to spoil him? Get Away From Me

and i know it mentions those little awkward silences which first of all, pain. second of all, would only make all of this worse because Oh i want them so bad but Oh No this is awkward Why Is It Awkward

sorry guys i'm dead. if you want explicit nsfw i could try :heart_eyes: but not in this post i need emotional help

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

[sxfterhearts]

33. [12:12 pm]

➳ pairing: mark x reader

➳ genre/warnings: fluff, office worker!mark

➳ word count: 1,348 words

➳ summary: 33. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

➳ author's note: apologies in advanced for any mistakes (it's so late rn ㅠㅠ) please enjoy another timestamp featuring descriptions of fooddd

//

“Let's dig in!” Mark chirped with a huge smile on his face before tucking his silver skinny tie into his plain, light blue button-up and grabbing a mouthful of jjamppong, his beloved spicy seafood noodles.

You could only offer a weak nod in response. Picking up your chopsticks, you poked lightly at the large bowl of jjajangmyeon that was patiently waiting for you to dig in. You didn’t have the heart to do so, however. Physically, you were seated next to Mark in your usual cramped corner of the Korean-Chinese restaurant frequented by nearly every office worker within its vicinity, eating your lunch. Mentally, though, you were still back at your office desk, scanning through every single cell of your Excel spreadsheet.

It was when Mark had to pause his meal for a drink that he finally realised your less-than-enthusiastic mood. “Y/N,” He called over the aggressive clanging of the kitchen’s woks and the lunchtime chatter of the other patrons.

You shook your head in an attempt to dispel your worrying thoughts, your hands moving to mix the glistening, black soybean sauce with the egg noodles underneath at a snail’s pace. Even such simple actions required more effort than usual, perhaps due to the constant tension in your muscles that left you exhausted.

“Hey, something’s up. What is it?” Mark eyed you attentively, taking in your slumped figure, dark eyebags and bitten nails. It was clear that you were under a lot of pressure. “You’re not mixing it right, let me do it for you. In the meantime,” He said, exchanging his jjamppong for your jjajangmyeon. “Have some of mine.”

“Thank you.” You replied, taking a sip of the red hot soup. This restaurant’s jjamppong was known to be spicier than average, but your tastebuds welcomed the tingling sensation. Its flavour was comforting and tempted you to go back for more.

The familiar squelching sound of jjajangmyeon being mixed could be heard as Mark stirred the hot contents, his tongue sticking out in concentration. “So?” He asked expectantly. “You haven’t told me what you’re stressed about.”

Grunting in protest, you hurriedly chewed and swallowed a crunchy piece of prawn. “Who said I was stressed?” You were met with a look of disbelief. “I’m just… concerned.”

“Go on, talk to me.” Mark promptly returned your meals to its original positions when he caught you stealing another prawn. “I’m here to listen, feel free to offload all your complaints on me. That’s what a boyfriend is for, right?”

“Boyfriend?” Your hand stopped mid-air, your mouth agape as noodles dangled off your chopsticks. “What… What do you mean by boyfriend?”

Now it was his turn to pause while reaching for the plate of tangsuyuk sitting between you. The crispy sweet and sour pieces of pork would have to wait for now. “I mean me, your boyfriend.” He emphasised. “Why are you even asking that question?” Mark paused for a few moments, the two of you just staring dumbfoundedly at each other before he waved his hands in front of you. “Anyways, we’ll save that for later. Continue what you were saying earlier.”

You narrowed your eyes at home, a bit annoyed at his nonchalant dismissal of the discussion of your relationship. That would have to wait. You heaved a sigh. “It’s just, the client told us about a change in their fringe benefits at the very last minute, which wasn’t captured in the tax return we already filed, which means we’ll have to submit an amended return, but I can’t seem to find any evidence of this and this client is such a pain in the ass! Their tax department is so damn slow at replying to my emails and it’s going to take forever–”

“Y/N,” Mark’s voice cut through your rambling, firm. “Y/N, take a deep breath for me, okay? Yeah, just breath in, and out. Again, in, hold it, and out. That’s my girl. You’re doing great. Feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah,” you agreed, still a little breathless from your earlier ordeal. “Yeah, thank you. It feels good to let it out.”

Mark responded with a knowing smile. “Good. Eat your noodles, it’s going to get cold.” He urged, turning towards his lunch. “I have to admit, I didn’t understand most of what you said after ‘fringe benefits’, but it sounds like you have a deadline to meet and a client who’s not very responsive?” The IT worker guessed with his scarce knowledge of your profession.

“That’s basically it.” You sulked internally, taking bigger mouthfuls of noodles as your appetite slowly returned.

“How long do you have to submit your work?”

“Technically, the tax office allows three years. My manager will probably want it done by the end of the week.” It was already Thursday. You winced. “Maybe earlier, I haven’t told her yet.”

“Why? You need to tell her, Y/N.”

“I know, but like, I don’t want her to get mad at me, you know? I've never submitted an amended return before…”

“Y/N, clearly this whole thing is giving you a lot of stress. You need to tell your manager so that she can ask someone to guide you or reassign your other tasks to your colleagues. The longer you sit on this, the worse it gets. Tell her.”

As you processed his words, you began to realise that he was right. It was times like this that you truly appreciated his presence. While your first response to situations was usually fuelled by raging emotions, Mark always faced everything with a level-headed, logical approach that you admired. “Okay, I will.”

“And even if, and that’s a big if, she does get mad at you, I’ll help to make up for it.”

“How?”

His face scrunched up into a mischievous smile. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Without even sparing it a second thought, you followed his instructions exactly. You trusted him.

“Like this,” Mark said, sounding much closer to you than before, as you felt his larger hand grasp your smaller ones securely. Your breath hitched when his warm, moist lips melted against yours, engaging in a short yet graceful dance. When he pulled away, you curiously licked your lips, enjoying the lingering taste of jjamppong he left. “And this.” He announced, lifting his hand away.

It was then that you realised he had placed a piece of colourful paper on your hand. Holding it closer, you recognised the logo printed on the top of what seemed like a buy one get one free coupon. It was for the dessert place where you had your first date. “Free bingsu?” You wondered. Your insides were bubbling in excitement.

“Wow, I'm going to take you on a date to the place we first went out and all you can say is free bingsu?” Mark teased, his ears still a bright, noticeable shade of pink from your shared kiss.

“You can't blame me for that, it's unfair! You didn't even tell me that we're boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“What?!” Mark shrieked in pure shock. “What did you think we were? I've took you out on like at least ten dates already, we've held hands, kissed and everything, how—”

“Yeah, you took me out on dates, Mark. We never discussed anything which means we're just dating.”

“Who cares about labels?” He sighed exasperatedly, but went silent at your pointed gaze. “Well, that's a bit of a shame. All this time you thought we were just dating when I was going around telling everyone you're my girlfriend.”

“What… Really?” You stared at him unblinkingly.

Mark couldn't hold in his laughter when he met your dazed look. Each and every expression you wore on your face was adorable to him. “Yes, girlfriend. And if you really don't start eating now you won't finish your lunch, which, as your boyfriend, will make me very worried.”

“Stop teasing…” You mumbled weakly before stuffing your face with jjajangmyeon. Your tummy may not be full but your heart was filled with pure adoration for the man sitting next to you, chuckling amusedly to himself at your cuteness.

[darlinvandijk]

omg imagine quarantining with ruel and just chilling listening to him play his guitar or sing u to sleep🥺 bruh i’m too soft rn

This is complete shit honestly so I’m sorry lmao but I hope it’s good enough for y’all to somewhat enjoy lmao, I gave it a more fun and honestly realistic Ruel approach, before letting it fall into a soft and fluffy thing. (also fun fact: the song used is one of my favorite songs, I sing it at least 2 times a day haha)

~Quarantine Vibes~

I look up from my Instagram feed that I was scrolling through when I hear the bedroom door slowly creek open, watching as Ruel practically drags himself into the room, a large pout formed upon his pink lips. I let out a soft laugh as he drops himself on top of me, crushing me into the bed, and almost cutting off my airflow.

“Get off of me asshole or I’m gonna have to throw you out into the streets” I giggle out, watching the amused look on his face turn to terror at my words. He sits up and straddles my waist, giving me his typical over dramatic eye roll, unhappy with me making him sit up. I rest on my elbows, tilting my head up to look into his eyes, waiting for the complaining that I knew was about to ensure.

“Honestly this quarantine shit is going to kill me-“ he groans out, tilting his head back as he lets out a frustrated sigh, before falling off of my lap and landing right next to me on our bed. I give my handsome boy a soft smile before climbing into his lap, mimicking the position he was in seconds ago, and reaching forward to softly comb my fingers through his overgrown locks. “I love you, more than anything, and I’m glad you’re who I’m on lockdown with. I just wish I could go out and go for a walk and do normal things, because being locked here is almost suffocating” he mumbles out, eyes closing in content from my nails raking across his scalp. I give him a soft hum in agreement, understanding the place he’s coming from, and trying to come up with something to say that’ll hopefully soothe his anxiety.

“I love you too bubs, I get it though, it’s hard being locked in here without the freedom we all crave. But remember that you’re doing a good thing! You’re keeping yourself safe, your family safe, and those around us safe-“ I start out, resting my palm against his cheek as he intently stares at me, taking in everything I have to say seriously since one of the most important things to him is keeping those he loves healthy and safe. “We’re young and healthy, meaning we’re the perfect vessels to spread this illness, so us staying home means we’re saving lives. It might feel shitty right now, but I know you already know it’s worth it in the end” I state, watching him nod his head in agreement, giving my palm a soft kiss before he pulls me down to lay on him, gripping me tight against him.

“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re literally my everything. I don’t think anyone else could make me feel better and make me not stressed as easily as you do. Thank you baby” he mumbles against the side of my head, pressing a kiss to my hair, and I mumble my ‘I love you too’ back. We stay silent for a few minutes, relishing in the feeling of just holding each other, before he abruptly sits up and tosses me on to my side of the bed. I let out a shriek as I land on my pillows, instantly coming out of the sleepy daze I had fallen into, watching him with wide eyes as he runs out into the hallway.

Seconds later he reappears, the pout long gone from his lips, now replaced with a giant grin, causing me to watch him with a cautious look, knowing the mischief he was probably dying to cause. I open my mouth to object to whatever he wants to do, instantly being cut off as he darts across the room with a large object in his hands, only realizing what it was once it was too late. Of course this boy would try to cause chaos at 3 something in the morning with his random burst of pent up energy.

“Ruel holy shit no! People are trying to sleep” I screech out, my eyes wide with fear of the noise complaints I know we’re going to get. He stares at me with a frustrated frown upon his face, holding his guitar that he had hooked up to his amp, which was still ringing with the loud chord he had just played at max volume. I give him a blank stare in return, silently telling him he won’t be getting his way tonight, watching as he then sighs while turning to start unplugging and putting away his amp and guitar.

“I’m trying to have a good time and I can’t even do that in my own home. Like I just wanna have funnn-” he whines out, throwing himself back next to me, basically repeating the whining he had just done literally minutes ago. I ignore his incessant whining, only for him to abruptly go silent moments later, making my shift my gaze to him, watching as he stares at the ceiling. He flips on to his side and stares at me with an unwavering gaze, making me flinch from the fast movement, and then my face heat up from the attention. I finally will myself to look away, but as soon as I shift my glance from the green eyed beauty in front of me, I hear his laugh echo throughout our bedroom, before his fingertips find their way under my chin, turning my gaze back to him. “Don’t look away from me pretty girl” he softly states with a grin, watching my face flush even more from his compliment, completely forgetting about how upset he was with quarantine.

“Bubba can you do me a favor?” I yawn out, rolling on top of him, and curling myself around his body, trying to signal to him that I was ready to go to bed. I feel him nod as I rest my face in the crook of his neck, my body starting to fully enter a state of inevitable drowsiness since it was nearing 4 am already. “Can you sing me a song?” I whisper, my voice coming out mumbled since my lips are pressed against the base of his throat. He shivers in response to the feeling of my lips, causing me to let out a quiet laugh, earning a little pinch on my hip from him for laughing at him.

“Aw getting tired my love? Want me to sing our song?” He softly questions, brushing his fingers through my hair, a sigh of content escaping his lips as he feels me cuddle myself against him even more as I give him a mumbled yes in reply to his questions. He shifts on the bed, pulling a blanket over the top of us, before going back to using one hand to play with my hair and the other to draw soft shapes on my back, his hand having crept up the back of my shirt once we settled.

“You're just too good to be true.. I can't take my eyes off you.. You'd be like heaven to touch.. I wanna hold you so much.. At long last love has arrived.. And I thank God I'm alive.. You're just too good to be true.. Can't take my eyes off you” he quietly sings, his voice floating throughout our silent bedroom, instantly lulling me to sleep, his voice bringing me a sense of peace that nothing else can.

As I sleep, rested upon his chest, he continues to sing our song, feeling nothing but love and content fill his heart, the words tumbling from his lips in such a honest form as if he wrote it himself. A smile gracing his lips as he drowsily finishes off the song, pressing a soft kiss to my head, his eyes slowly falling shut as he drifts off to sleep.

Maybe quarantine wasn’t as bad as he thought, or maybe it just becomes a little bit more bearable when I’m wrapped in his arms.

[cabinofimagines]

This (Infinity) -Connor xReader.

A/N: My best friend loves Connor. That’s it, that’s the post -Danny. P.S. Tumblr won’t let me separate the text like I want so I’m trying something new, hope it works. <3

This is a Song-Fic! which in case you didn’t know, are my favorite thing to do, even if I’ve never actually done it lmaoo but I thought it was good to start with this one. The song is Infinity by AJR and you should check it out cause it’s the cutest.

Request: Yo, guys! I actually don't know how to ask this lmao. First of all, I am a big fan of all of you, and I love your work but I would adore you for forever if you wrote anything about Connor Stoll... A fic, imagine, head canon WHATEVER. This fandom always focuses a lot on the 7, Nico, Reyna and Will but there are sooooo many other characters to explore and this boy (Connor) needs love. It obvsly doesn't have to be rn, but pleaaaaaaase 😭❤️

Words: 1,213

Warnings: Nothing but it might be cheesy, sorry I got carried away blame the song for that. Blame me for the mistakes tho, I did not proofread or will I ever proofread these things, sorry-not-sorry.

Was it all in my head? In an empty bed And I told you that I need you Baby, can't you see I'm alone? Oh, oh

He just... gets you. There’s no way to put it into words, Connor has that and that’s it. If you’re angry he’ll give you space; if you’re upset he’ll give you comfort. Happy? He’ll make sure you stay that way as long as you can. Also, the feeling of trust between you two is the strongest of all. Which is ironic considering how much of a tricky little shit he tends to be. Not with you though. With you is like he’s still that kid you met when you had just arrived at camp. 

It was stressing (to say the least) to date someone as problematic as Connor Stoll. Fair enough, you aren’t perfect. But at least you weren’t exploding things at the speed of light just for laughs, or stealing other people’s stuff, or playing pranks on Ares’ children... Why did you like him again?

I was lost in my feet On an empty street So I save your seat, infinity Forever figures 5 and 3 You know, oh oh

“Y/N” Connor hopped right next to you, he wasn’t exactly a touchy person but he was fidgety, so he’d always have a way to feel like he’s in contact with you even if he’s not exactly touching your body. Sometimes he’ll grace his fingertips on yours, or play with the laces on your hoodies, it was sort of endearing.

“Connor” You replied in the same tone, giving him a side-eye look, “What are you up to?” 

“So... I’m starting college once this summer ends” He started, but you didn’t want to hear the rest.

You weren’t ready for this. You’ve been together since you were sixteen and now, What? Probably you’ll end up breaking up because having a relationship so far from the other will bring nothing but trouble. He was leaving to New Rome, for once deciding to be in a different school than his brother and thinking it’d had a whole new bunch of fascinating possibilities. It also had plenty of new people as well. And you. Just. Weren’t. Ready.

He had found a way around your heart and became vital to it, you’ve felt so alone before; like you were the third wheel of everything. Connor was the only person that made you feel like maybe, you weren’t meant to live your life like that, that you were worthy of having all the love and more.

So it was supposed to be you and him for a long, long time, not just a few years. 

“Oh?” You mumbled, looking down at your feet. If this was it, you just waited for everything to end soon.

“Right. I just need to make sure of this, Y/N/N” Connor shifted in his place so he could face you, “and I know you still have one year left before you have to go too but, uh, Would you rather live close to school or downtown? Cause I could do both but I’d prefer if you tell me know so I can get a place you like and we don’t have to move later next year-”

“What?” You cut him off.

Cross my heart and hope to die Stick a needle in my eye My mama says to pick the best And you are it

“A place? To live together once you go to New Rome?” He insisted, then got strangely pale, hit by a sudden thought, “Oh gods, unless I misunderstood your plans for the future and weren’t trying to go to Camp Jupiter once you get old enough, oh shit. I’m so stupid, ignore that I said all that-”

“No, Connor that’s not what I meant,” You quickly tried to correct him, “I was trying to ask- uh well actually not an ask, well it is but- ugh, this is awkward”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Connor messed with his hair in concern, “I wasn’t trying to pressure you into choosing today! I thought- It’s just that the other day you mentioned how cool it looked the University and how you were dreaming to study there so I thought you wanted to live with me too? Now that I say it out loud it makes no sense, wow, I’m an idiot...”

You let him ramble not because you thought he was right and needed an explanation but because you felt speechless. He wanted you there. Connor had seen his future and for him, it wasn’t over after all, it was still both of you, growing as tall and strong as before.

Was it hard to believe? Wear your heart on my sleeve And I'll hold you when you're lonely When you're cold cause you're the only girl for me

“So you’re not going to break up with me?”

That question was all it took for Connor to stop his speech and look at you like he couldn’t believe what you were saying.

“Breaking up? Why the Hades would I break up with you?”

“Heard long-distance relationships never last, all this time I took it to enjoy my last few days with you before it was over for us, cause you’re finally moving on...”

“Oh, Y/N” Connor huffed, “you’ve always been so dramatic.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” You asked in disbelief.

“Why would I break up with you?” He repeated, “no but seriously, why? You’re the coolest demigod on earth. When I was little I was terrified of being separated from my brother y’know? And once we started dating I didn’t have a single nightmare about that anymore. You got my back and I take care of you too”

This. This is exactly why you love him. Blind trust and nothing but honesty on his voice. Sweet, loving words that revolved around you and held you away from the cold it gave you that lonely feeling from years back. 

“I like you so much,” You were reaching for his hand, beaming.

“I love you,” His eyes turned gentle and the smirk changed into a soft expression, nothing but the vulnerability that he showed to no one but you, “you’re the only one for me.”

Cross my heart and hope to die Since you came into my life My mama says to pick the best And you are it

“So are you,” You replied, holding his hand firmly, tight against yours, “life is so much easier when you date a Hermes child, they can come in handy much more often than you’d think”

Connor laughed, pushing your shoulder with his teasingly.

“Oh, no, stop it!” He pretended to blush, “or you’ll make me believe you actually like to have me around”

“Gods forbid, no” You frowned, “my mom is very strict about what kind of boys I’m allowed to take home. Only the top of the top, best in their kind” You then leaned as if you were about to tell him a secret, “I think you’re it.” 

Oh, Hey All our trouble's gone Like when we were young Take me back to where we all began Here we are again, like we should've been

“And what if Mom doesn’t think that way?” Connor followed the joke, always in for a laugh.

“Well if I can’t take you to her home it won’t make much difference, cause I’ll be living with you by then, close to the school so we can sleep five more minutes  every morning before starting the day.”

“I‘d like that,” He closed the distance between you two, brushing your nose with his, “I’m gonna miss you for that whole first year though, gonna have to pay you a visit during the holidays...”

“Let’s make sure you get enough of me to take with you during the semester then...”

Wrapping your arms around his neck you kissed him and it was like going back to the beginning when you were kids falling in love for the first time, this was how it was supposed to be since then, like you should’ve been and were about to, for the rest of infinity.

Cross my heart and hope to die Since you came into my life My mama says to pick the best And you are it

-Danny :) 

[dabiapologist]

[My Hero Academia Fanfiction]: Like We’re Running Out of Time

For the DabiHawks Gift Exchange 2k18!

@how-to-train-your-kirishima , Surprise! I was your partner for the exchange! Sorry for being a day late, hope you enjoy the fic <3

Rated E

Word Count: 6.2k

Tags: Hooking up, on the DL, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Light Dom/sub, Light Bondage, quirks used for sex, Overstimulation, Sex Toys, Gift Exchange, dabihawks gift exchange, #NSFWDabihawksGiftExchange, Bottom Dabi (My Hero Academia), Bratty Bottom Dabi is my life force

It’s funny to him how Dabi is both the main source of his stress and the relief at the same time.

Read it on || AO3

                                                                  1.

Hawks learns early on that Dabi is capricious by nature.

He often wonders if it’s a villain thing or a Dabi thing to be as fickle and unhinged as he is; probably both. So when Dabi unexpectedly grabs him by the sleeve and pulls him into a bar, Hawks decides it’s not worth the effort to fight it. He’d been in a sour mood for most of the night, for reasons which remain a mystery to Hawks, given that Dabi is not much of a sharer.

But now, two hours in and an untold number of tequila shots later, Dabi seems to be in much higher spirits and is once again tugging at his sleeve-- this time they’re headed for the bathroom.

“If you stretch my sleeve out you’re buying me a new jacket,” Hawks mutters. It barely registers over the booming bass coming from the stage at the other end of the bar, and Dabi doesn’t react, so Hawks assumes his complaint went unheard.

They’re barely in the door before Dabi grabs him by the collar and shoves him into one of the stalls. Between the four of them: Dabi, Hawks, and both of his human-sized wings, it’s cramped as all hell in the tiny stall but that makes no nevermind to Dabi, who looks wicked and determined.

“Here ?” Is the only thing Hawks can say when Dabi bites at his lips. Dabi likes to kiss with teeth.

“Yeah.”

This is a popular bar. It’s crowded. There’s people walking in and out of the bathroom as they speak; some laughing, some puking, some thoroughly wasted. Hawks flushes, arousal and anxiety growing the more packed the bathroom gets. He’s not known for his expert silence during sex, and the walls in this bathroom are the kind that carry sound a little too well.

His only saving grace is that, whether for ambiance or frugality, the lighting in here is shit. No one would be sober enough to recognize his silhouette.

“People are gonna hear us, you know.” He whispers.

Dabi kisses him deep and slow, completely unguarded as he wraps an arm around Hawks’ neck. He tastes like a night full of bad decisions. He can feel Dabi smiling against his mouth between kisses and nips, but he doesn’t say anything for a long while. Gradually, his free arm slides down his back, the heat enough to set his feathers quivering against the cold stall wall, over his hip, down between them to cup the prominent bulge in Hawks’ pants.

Dabi is capricious. He lives and fucks like he has nothing to lose.

“Then we’ll make it good for them, too.” He finally says.

And, fuck, it is impossible to say no to him when he starts to sink to his knees, looking up at Hawks with those cold blue eyes as he tugs his zipper down.

Hawks huffs, resigning himself to a blowjob in a dirty toilet stall in a shady bar. This isn’t how he used to spend his Thursdays.

“Or...we can go back to your place, if you’d prefer?” Dabi says with a teasing smile. Hawks glares back down at him. Like hell I’m going anywhere like this. His cock is rock hard in Dabi’s warm hand, and the warmer it gets, the more of a fog Hawks’ mind falls into.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Dabi says quietly, laughing. Hawks doesn’t care enough to respond. He leans back against the stall wall, sighing every ounce of tension out of his body as his eyes slide shut. It’s been a long week, and right now, the thought of his cock in Dabi’s mouth is the only thing that is keeping his mood and stress above water.

It’s funny to him how Dabi is both the main source of his stress and the relief at the same time.  

He tamps down a throaty moan when Dabi takes the tip in his mouth way too tenderly, gently flicking and circling his tongue over the tip for a bit before taking it a little deeper. The wet sounds of Dabi’s mouth moving over his cock seem to reverberate in the present quiet of the small bathroom.

Right now, it’s empty, so Hawks allows the soft groan that’s been building in the back of his throat to finally escape. Dabi hums around his cock in response, quickening the pace.

“Fu-fuck, Dabi…” Hawks grunts when Dabi takes his full length in his mouth, mouth vacuum tight around his cock. His leg jolts when Dabi releases him with a wet, lewd pop, taking some time instead to suck one of his balls.

His phone starts vibrating in his pocket. It is then that Hawks vaguely remembers that he is still technically on duty, so he’s obligated to check who it is that’s calling. But just as his hand starts to slide into his pocket, Dabi licks up the underside of his dick so torturously slow that all conscious thought leaves him in that moment.

“God, Dabi, I love your fuckin’ mouth,” He moans out loud, the words not coming from his brain, but from every inch, every nerve in his body.

“Yeah, I know you do.” Dabi says with a chuckle before leaning back in to finish him off.

“Do the thing, pl-please,” Hawks begs-- he absolutely hates hearing the need in his tone, but he needs to end this week on a high note, and there is no higher note than the sheer euphoria that comes with the orgasm that Dabi can give him.

“Man, the live band is really awesome tonight, what’s the na-”

Fuck. Some guys just walked in, disrupting the perfect heat and tension in the room. But it’s only for a second. Dabi has him fully in his mouth again, his cockhead hitting the back of his throat hard and fast, and he knows Dabi heard him. He knows Dabi knows what he needs.

If they hear him come, oh fucking well.

Truth be told, his body has been aching for this for weeks, and it will not be denied for a second longer.

“Yo, shh… I think someone’s getting blown in one of the stalls…” Hawks overhears one of them say. He could laugh. That’s putting it pretty fucking mildly, he’d say.  

The cat calls start not long after, but Hawks is too far gone to be irritated by it. If anything, it only adds to the mood.

“Suck him good, baby,” One of them says, and he can feel Dabi pause. He slowly pulls back, giving Hawks’ cock a teasing lick.

“Oh, I am,” He calls back, effectively silencing the lot of them, “Now either shut up or fuck off.”

Hawks loves the silence that follows. He’s not sure if they’re still there or not, but he could care less.

Dabi takes him by the tip again, head bobbing good and slow over the turgid flesh. Hawks’ hand flies into Dabi’s hair on reflex, wordlessly begging for that sweet heat. And Dabi always obliges him, if only to hold it over his head later.

His mouth falls open, letting his shuddered and uneven breaths come out unhindered. Dabi’s mouth starts to get hotter as the seconds go by. He doesn’t alter his pace, keeping Hawks on a smooth, slow gradient. But his mouth is fit tight around his reddened cockhead, his soft moans as he moves sending pulses up Hawks’ body as the temperature rises.

Dabi has truly mastered every aspect of his quirk. Hawks both loves and hates how impressive his control is. Both over his quirk, and over both of their bodies.

His climax is not silent, and it’s not gentle.

He chants Dabi’s name over and over again, gripping Dabi’s hair and the stall wall behind him hard as his body spasms and twitches in Dabi’s grip. Dabi keeps blowing him even after he’s spent, relishing in the squeaks and pitchy whines Hawks lets out at the overstimulation. His mouth is still so deliciously hot as it moves over his cock.

“Fuck, you’re so good…” He purrs, delirious with bliss and very, very drunk. Dabi finally lets him go after a few minutes, but not completely. He licks and kisses along Hawks’ cock, from the still oozing tip to the thick vein along the underside.

“...Damn… Can I get next?”   The person in the next stall suddenly says.

That's the first and only time Hawks ever sees Dabi genuinely laugh.

                                                                                                                      2.

Turns out, the call he had ignored was from his overlords at the hero commission. And come the next morning, they are none too pleased with him and his spectacular lack of reportable intel.

“How close do you think you are to gaining entry into the league?”

Hawks sighs. “Frankly, not any closer than I was last time. My, uh-” His cock is still pleasantly sore from the searing blowjob Dabi gave him last night, and it takes a lot of focus for him not to zone out thinking about Dabi and his hellishly hot mouth around his cock.

“-my liaison in the league isn’t known for his… what’s the word I’m looking for here… his, uh, chattiness ,” Hawks helps himself to the glass of water one of the secretaries set down for him. “It’s taking a little longer to crack him than I anticipated.”

His phone buzzes twice while his boss continues to lay out their plans for the league. Hawks discreetly peaks at the screen.

Speak of the devil.

Where r u

Rude. Hawks scoffs as he quickly types a reply.

Busy rn ill text u later

“Hawks, did you hear a word I just said?”

Hawks quickly snaps back to attention. “Yes ma’am. Sorry, got a text from one of my sidekicks. Nothing serious.”

She looks unconvinced, but lets it slide. “Fine.”

His phone buzzes again a few minutes later.

Does it look like i can wait til later?

      (1) New image  

He shouldn’t open it. Not here, not now. Hawks knows this. This would be the literal worst possible time to see whatever it is Dabi sent him. He knows it’s probably dirty, probably a little x-rated.

And yet, here he is, with his finger still hovering dangerously over the attachment.

Hawks chews his lip. Fuck it.

He opens it. Dabi’s unfairly pretty blue eyes stare back at him, looking incredibly smug for someone who clearly has no clothes on. He’s lying on his stomach, butt naked. From the angle he took the picture at, Hawks can only get a small glimpse of that tight, pert ass over Dabi’s shoulder, but he’s sure that was the point. Dabi only ever shows enough to entice. To incite a reaction.

He’s definitely gotten what he wanted, in that regard.

“Motherfuck,” Hawks pants out loud. Luckily for him, everyone is listening rapt to the presentation and no one hears him. He studies the picture a little more, drinking in the little subtleties. Dabi looks damp, his hair hanging more in his face than usual and curling at the ends. Droplets of water are visible on his bare arms and the top of his chest.

Now it’s Hawks turn to ask.

Where r u?

But after he sends the text, he stares at the picture, sharp eyes zeroing in on a very familiar sight. That plaque on the wall behind Dabi is all too familiar. Because Hawks’ name is on it.

And Dabi’s response confirms what Hawks already knows.

I'm in your room. Hurry up and get here.

Another text comes before Hawks has a chance to fully process the first.

I’ve been lying here fingering myself for the past half hour. Prepping for you.

Hawks can’t help but smile at the marked change in grammar and punctuation that takes place when Dabi sexts him. It’s kind of cute.

Oh yeah? He texts back, Are you nice and stretched for me?  

He can feel his cock starting to harden in his pants. Shit.

Dabi’s next text gets him rock solid. He can practically see the smirk on Dabi’s face as he types it out.

No resistance.

“Sorry to interrupt everyone, but I have an emergency that just came up.” Pfff. Understatement of the fuckin’ year.

He waves off their protests and races out of the room without looking back once. He doesn’t bother with the stairs or elevators. Instead, he pushes open a nearby window and jumps out, letting the wind catch his wings. His place is a ways off from this building, but he’s a fast flyer, especially when something worth the strain he puts on his wings is waiting for him.

Because when Dabi says ‘no resistance’, he isn’t just talking about his body.

***********

“I was in a meeting.”

“Don’t care.”

“It was important .”

“And yet here you are, in bed with me.”

Hawks grins against Dabi’s skin, gives it a slow lingering kiss, savoring the tingling in his lips from the warmth. “What can I say? You’re very persuasive. I saved that selfie, by the way. In case I ever need to blackmail you.”

Dabi groans something unintelligible into one of the pillows as Hawks rolls his hips once last time before finally pulling out and lying down next to him on the damps sheets. They lie in comfortable silence for a bit, each coming down from their climaxes, letting their bodies cool off. Hawks’ eyes fall shut and he slings an arm over his eyes with a satisfied sigh.

“I needed that,” He says after a while. His hand moves from its resting place on his stomach, slides down his front to reach for his cock. He tugs the condom off gently and ties it off before tossing it vaguely in the direction of his waste bin. It lands on the floor instead.  

Dabi mumbles something in agreement before shifting to a more comfortable position. Well, about as comfortable as he can get really; Hawks’ feathers are tight around his wrists and wrapped around the metal bars of Hawks’ headboard. The bright red against black lacquered metal quickly reminds the both of them of Dabi’s current captivity.

“Are you gonna take these off of me any time soon?”

“What’s the matter sugar , are they too tight?”

He gets the reaction he was hoping for. Dabi turns to him slowly, eyes sharp and irritated behind heavy lids.

“They’re fine. And don’t call me that again.”

Hawks chuckles, biting his lip. He fishes around under the sheet, feeling for the tiny remote that had gotten lost in the midst of the vicious, frantic fucking that had taken place not twenty minutes ago.

“You’re tied to my bed, Dabi,” Hawks says when he finally finds it. He taps “ON” and dials it up to the second setting. Immediately, a soft buzzing whirs from underneath Dabi’s body, and the other man hisses a curse. “I don’t think you’re really in any position to be telling me what do right now.”

He dials it up to three as he lies back, propping himself up on his side. “You bought this ticket, now you’re taking the fuckin’ ride.”

Four.

Dabi’s already panting softly and writhing at the suddenly way too intense stimulation; Hawks licks his lips with a pleased noise as he watches Dabi’s hips start to grind into the mattress. But the bullet strapped to the underside of his cockhead isn’t going to be moved so easily. He made sure of that.

“Fuck,” Dabi moans, his voice rising a couple of octaves. But Hawks can see the smile on his face as he struggles against the intense sensations. He loves this.

“Want it higher?”

Dabi mumbles something that barely sounds human, let alone Japanese. Hawks leans over and gives him a swift slap on the ass. He never thought he’d see the day where he got to hear Dabi, serial arsonist and murderer, leader of the Vanguard Squad of the League of Villains, and Shigaraki Tomura’s right-hand man, yelp like a child, but since they started hooking up, it’s become a sound that Hawks is not only familiar with, it’s one that goes straight to his cock every single time. He strokes himself a few times as he sits up and walks in his knees to seat himself between Dabi's spread thighs. It doesn’t take much effort to get himself fully hard again. Dabi makes for a hell of a sight.

“Words, Dabi. Use your words.” He instructs as he rips open another condom and slides it on.

Dabi licks his lips. “Ye...yes. Higher. Please.”

Hawks shuts it off instead.

The feathers around Dabi’s wrists come undone briefly, if only long enough for Hawks to immediately grab him and roughly flip him over onto his back. They return to their previous position as Hawks makes himself comfortable between Dabi’s spread legs. He scoots in closer and pulls Dabi’s legs further apart, one resting on each side of him and giving him full access to any and every part of Dabi’s body he wants tease.

“That's better,” He says with a chuckle and dials the bullet up from “OFF” all the way to seven.

The noises Dabi lets out are primal.

Hawks strokes himself in time with Dabi’s harsh pants, letting his free hand caress over Dabi’s thighs, his abs, down to fondle his balls, and finally back up to ghost over his cock. Not that that needs any extra help. It’s thick and purpled, and pre-come is already leaking out onto his stomach.

“God, Dabi, you look so fucking hot right now,” Hawks whispers as he reaches for the lube sitting off to the side. He squirts a bit on his fingers and rolls them around to coat evenly.

No resistance. Those are Hawks' favorite words.

He loves the way Dabi’s back arches up off the bed as he slides a finger inside him, his name coming out like a breathy sigh. Hawks likes this side of Dabi the most; the pliant, primal, submissive side, the side that likes to lose itself in pure sensation, in pure ecstasy. Nothing else matters, if only for a while.

He slides a second finger in as he dials it up to eight.

“God, Hawks,” Dabi moans loud, breathing ragged and uneven as his body shudders and squirms and he rolls his hips in Hawks’ grip, wordlessly pleading for the slightest touch. Hawks swears he could blow another load from hearing Dabi say his name like that alone. It won’t be much longer until he loses control and gives in to the urge to plow right back into that perfect, addictive heat, but he staves it off a little longer. Watching Dabi unravel is half the fun, after all.

When he dials it all the way up to the highest setting, Dabi screams bloody murder.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” He chants over and over,  furiously tapping his hand on the bed. Hawks grins down at him and shuts the bullet off. Dabi moans hoarsely as his head falls back onto the pillow, his entire body visibly unclenching and relaxing into the soft mattress. “Holy shit,” He pants out, trying to catch his breath.

“Aww,” Hawks coos, raking his fingernails up the inside of one of Dabi’s thighs, thoroughly pleased at the violent shiver that travels up the other man’s body at the sensation, “Had to tap out on me, Dabi?”

Dabi tries to kick him. Or at least, that’s what Hawks thinks he’s trying to do, as the only thing Dabi can really manage at the moment is a mumbled curse and a weak spasm of his leg.

“That one...that one is way stronger than the other one,” Dabi chokes out after a minute or two, “I need a few minutes.”

Hawks sits up on his knees and stretches out on top of Dabi, hands on either side of his head.

“Gimme a kiss,” Hawks says quietly.

Dabi leans up obediently, or as much as he can with his hands still bound, still breathing hard and struggling against Hawks’ feather bindings. “Come closer, asshole,” He mutters, trying a few times in vain to reach Hawks, who keeps playfully rearing up out of range. Dabi growls, frustrated, and starts snapping, trying bite instead of kiss.

“Whoa, easy,” Hawks chides, licking his lips, and then he leans down to lick Dabi’s, too. The second their lips brush, Dabi’s mouth falls open and the other man quickly flicks his tongue against Hawks’.

“Want it back on?” He murmurs against Dabi’s lips, licks at them again. Underneath him, Dabi groans and shifts, grinding against him as he wraps his legs loosely around Hawks’ waist.

What he wants doesn’t need to be said.

Hawks fucks into him slow as they continue to kiss and tease, indolent tongues and teeth tasting and biting at the other’s lips and jaws. Sliding inside of Dabi is like sliding into a hot bath; the heat is all-encompassing and travels up his core, up his spine, to every single hair and cell of his body, up to his heart and jars its rhythm. It’s quickly become one of Hawks’ vices, and one that has him in a death grip.

The instant the bullet comes back on, the pace grows feverish. Hawks feels a little lightheaded from the heat in the room; his forehead and back are damp with sweat and beneath him, Dabi’s body is covered in a glistening sheen of sweat, too. But the drag of his slicked cock moving in and out of Dabi’s ass, the low hum of the bullet vibrating between them, steadily growing louder as Hawks dials it back up, and Dabi groaning his name, voice breaking and his body arching against his own… it’s all maddening. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, he thinks.

He lets the feathers come undone and hauls Dabi up onto his lap, pulling him flush against him and crushing their lips together. Dabi barely puts up a struggle, even as Hawks roughly yanks his long legs and secures them around his waist. Being the taller of the two doesn’t mean much, they both realized early on. Dabi may have height, firepower, and an attitude problem, but not much else. Hawks is stronger, much more powerful, body rough-hewn from hero work, and he loves to remind Dabi of that fact every time they fuck.

Dabi leans in his ear. “Oi, your phone’s ringing.”

Hawks responds by sitting up on his knees and hoisting Dabi up higher, grip firm on his thighs and ass as he bounces him on his cock.

“Fuck it,” Hawks grunts as he thrusts hard up into Dabi, “It can wait.”

It keeps buzzing on Hawks’ nightstand, but it barely registers when Hawks dials the bullet back up to max.

*******

“I called you four times last night,” Miruko says loudly when he meets her for breakfast the next morning, their weekly tradition. “Where the hell were ya?”

“I turned in early last night,” Hawks lies smoothly. Too smoothly, he thinks with a grimace. It’s become second nature.

“You? Sleepin’ early ?” Miruko parrots as she stares at him, unconvinced, “You sick or somethin’?”

Hawks shakes his head, stifling a yawn. “Nah, I’ve just been going a little too hard lately, maybe.”

That’s a definite understatement, he thinks to himself. Too hard is right. His entire body is still sore from the ridiculous, straight-out-of-the Kama Sutra position they finished each other off in. His lips snag his bottom lip as the events of the night before play on a reel in his mind. God, that orgasm was more than worth the effort and the soreness. Dabi rides dick like no one else Hawks has ever had. It’s a little unfair. Hawks knows he’s good, but Dabi is like a divine being when he’s on top.

His cock twitches to life in his pants and Hawks flushes. This is really not the time to be thinking about this.

He tucks into food with forced vigor, eating quietly as Miruko recants the story of her latest criminal conquest, dropping in the odd “wow” and “you’re amazing, dude” at the appropriate times, but inside his head, he’s miles away, back up in his apartment with Dabi wrapped around him.

                                                              3.

It’s been nearly three weeks since the last time they hooked up, hell, since the last time he saw or heard from Dabi period, and Hawks is irritated and, if he’s honest with himself, embarrassed, by how on edge he’s been since then. His leg is bouncing under his desk at a hundred miles an hour, and has been for most of the time he’s been sitting.

His sidekicks are giving their reports on pending cases and cleanups, but Hawks just can’t seem to focus on anything anyone is saying.

“Hawks, sir?”

“What?” He snaps. His sidekicks all jump back at his tone. Hawks is a tough boss to work for, but he’s never once yelled at his sidekicks. He sighs apologetically, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands.

“Sorry,” He mumbles. “I’m not feeling like myself tonight. I didn’t mean to take it out on you all. Sorry.”

One of his sidekicks hazards a step forward. “Uh, should we, um… should we give you the rest of the stats and stuff later?”

Hawks inhales deeply, lets it back out. “...Yeah,” He nods after a brief pause, “That would be better. Give me ten minutes.”

They all nod in affirmation before filtering out of his office one by one. Hawks pays no mind to the hushed chatter or concerned looks over their shoulders as they leave. When his office is empty, Hawks stands up from his desk with a tired groan, stretches his arms up until his back cracks as he crosses to the other side of the room, and flings himself face first down onto his couch.

“Fuck this,” He mutters into the couch cushion.

He lies there for a long time, unmoving, just breathing and thinking. Thinking about nothing in particular, about everything.

His phone buzzes loudly over on his desk just as he starts to drift off, and Hawks considers just letting it ring. But he’s gotten yelled at enough lately for missing important calls, and he’s over that. He pushes himself up off the couch, cursing softly to himself. It stops ringing the second he reaches his desk and picks it up.

                                              (1) Missed Call from:

                                           Crispy Bacon McMurder

Hawks snorts, his mood instantly lifting. Oh boy, if only Dabi could see his nickname in Hawks’ phone. He’d roast him alive.

Hawks hits redial, waits for a few seconds. Dabi finally answers on the third ring. Over time, Hawks has learned to differentiate regular, moody Dabi from genuine emotion Dabi. Dabi’s face isn’t nearly as expressive as his tone.

“Where are you?”   Tonight, he sounds annoyed.

Nonetheless, Hawks cradles his phone in the crook of his neck as he leans against his desk, folding his arms across his chest. He hasn’t exactly been shooting rainbows out of his ass either, and he’s in no mood for Dabi’s bitchiness tonight. “Tch, hello to you, sunshine.”

Over the line, he hears Dabi suck his teeth.

“I’m working.”

“You on patrol?”

“No, I’m at the agency, finishing up some paperwork right now. Is this League business or you business?”  

Silence on the other end.

Hawks waits, listening to Dabi’s quiet breathing on the other end. After a beat, Dabi sighs and chuckles, his low, smooth baritone enticing and disarming, no matter the tone in it. Hawks feels a smile pulling at his mouth. He shakes his head at himself.

Dare he say it, he actually kind of missed Dabi over these past few weeks.

“I guess it’s a little of both, ” He finally says, his tone taking on a lighter, more playful edge. Hawks wets his lips, smile growing a little more. He likes it when Dabi gets playful. He can’t even really explain why, beyond the obvious reason that he’s sure he’s going to get laid at some point in the near future. Right now, that’s enough for him to go on. He’s running on fumes.

“Wanna meet up somewhere?”

“Yeah.”

Just then, there’s a knock at the door.

“Okay. The usual place, ten minutes.” He mutters quickly into the phone and hangs up just as one of his sidekicks pokes his head back in. “Listen,” He interjects before the guy has a chance to even greet him, “I’m gonna head out really quick. I’ll be back in half an hour.”

“Oh, uh, but-”

“I’ll hear the rest of the stats later.” Hawks says impatiently as he shucks his coat on and adjusts the collar, along with his visor.

“Is this something you need help with? One of us can accompany you if you want, sir.” His sidekick calls out after him.

Hawks doesn’t even turn back. “Nah, this is something I need to do alone. Later.”

********

The warehouse is a bittersweet place for Hawks. Coming here always makes him uneasy, but it’s the most convenient place for both of them, equidistant from Hawks’ agency and from Dabi’s-- the League’s-- hideout, though the exact location is, as of yet, unknown to Hawks.

Dabi is already waiting for him when he gets there exactly ten minutes later on the dot, leaning against a large crate and halfway through what is probably his second or third cigarette. He blends into the darkness like a bad dream, the only hint that he’s there is his eyes shining and the orange tip of the cigarette as he inhales.

He looks so fucking good right now.

And frankly, Hawks had intended to talk League business first; he told himself over and over on the way that his mission must always take priority. It’s a talk he’s had with himself many times since meeting Dabi, and it’s gone out the window virtually every time once things got physical.

And tonight, he concedes, defeated, will be no different.

The second they lock eyes, Dabi smirks at him and he flicks his cigarette away, his eyes flashing with an intensity that pushes what little rational thought that is left out of Hawks’ mind as he closes the distance between them.

Coats and shirts begin to litter the floor within minutes of their heated collision, the both of them needy and eager. And pressed for time. Hawks can feel it in the way Dabi claws at him more desperately than usual, hands roving over every inch of skin he can get his hands on, greedily drinking in his moans as they kiss hard.    

A few more minutes , Hawks thinks. He’ll allow himself a few more minutes and then it’s down to business.

But then Dabi moans something filthy in his ear and then starts to suck at his bottom lip. Fuck it. That’s also something Hawks finds himself saying and thinking often, nowadays. His sidekicks will just have to wait for him, for once.

He immediately shoves Dabi hard up against one of the man-sized crates, fumbling with both of their belts.

“We gotta do this quick,” He says between grunts and kisses.

“I know,” Dabi responds with equal fervor, already shoving his pants and boxers down.

“Give me the lube.”

Dabi pauses to look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t have any lube.”

Hawks freezes. “Shit, me neither.”

The two of them stand there for a beat, staring at each before finally, Dabi’s head falls back against the crate, a rueful smile on his face. “Well, fuck us.”

Hawks leans in and kisses him deep. Despite the time crunch, it’s slow and languid and deliciously warm. Fuck it. Seriously. He’s been so high-strung these past few weeks, he needs this. It doesn’t have to be full-on sex, he just wants to be close to Dabi for a bit. And clearly, Dabi is having similar thoughts.

The other man cups his face, angling his head to deepen the kiss. Between them, his hand creeps down and brushes over Hawks’ bare cock, stroking it.

“Mm,” Hawks moans low when he pulls away briefly. He mimics Dabi and takes his cock in his hand, stroking it in time with Dabi’s hand.

“I can get by with a handy,” Dabi says against his lips, “For now, anyway.”

Hawks chuckles. “Yeah.”

By the time their paces reach fever pitch, his phone is already buzzing in his back pocket, his sidekicks wondering where the hell their boss has run off to, no doubt. People really have the worst timing, Hawks thinks. But their passionate fervor makes quick work of the both of them. Dabi groans into his neck just as it stops, coming in a few quick spurts into his hand, Hawks’ name falling way too softly from his lips. Hawks had finished only seconds before, and is still coming down from his own orgasm as he brings Dabi to his.

The two of them take a brief moment of respite, kissing and touching, basking in the altogether much too brief afterglow their respective obligations allow them.

“So,” Hawks begins after some time, pulling away to make himself decent, “What did you want to tell me?”

Dabi is already dressed again and lighting up another cigarette, back to his usual aloof self. The only evidence of what just transpired between them is the faint flush of his face and his ears, and his still somewhat heavy breathing.

God, if only they had the time. The things he would do to Dabi all over this dirty warehouse.  

“I have some exciting news,” Dabi says, exhaling smoke in a thin tendril, “Boss wants to meet you.”

Hawks pauses. “Really?”

“Yeah, Hawks. Really.”

“When?”

Dabi shrugs. “Dunno yet. He just happened to mention it the other day, and asked me to pass the message along. But relatively soon, I figure.”

Dabi pauses to take a long drag. “He’s got some plans in the works, currently,” He says before exhaling the thick plume all in one shot, “and he’s gonna need someone on the inside. He’s ready to give you a chance to prove yourself and your loyalty to our cause.”

Hawks remains silent, contemplating Dabi’s words --and the thinly veiled threat in his tone.

“What do you think?”

Dabi takes one last puff before flicking his cigarette butt away. “What do I think of what?”

“Do you think I’ve proven myself?”

Dabi doesn’t respond right away, instead taking the time that they don’t have to calmly finish his cigarette. Hawks quickly gets the sense that Dabi is purposely letting him dangle, relishing the suspense. There’s always time to see someone squirm, as far as Dabi is concerned.

He only gives in after Hawks make an impatient noise and shrugs his coat on with more force than necessary. “I told him that we can trust you.” Dabi says quietly, pushing himself up off the crate and once again closing the distance between them, this time with none of the urgency from before.

Dabi cups his neck, thumb over Hawks’ jaw tenderly. Or at least, there is an illusion of tenderness. Dabi’s eyes have taken on that cold, hard edge that sinks like a stone in Hawks’ stomach.

“I can trust you, right?”

He’s gotten way too good at lying lately.

“...Yes, Dabi. You have my loyalty. I swear.”

Dabi presses his forehead against Hawks'. It's much too affectionate, Hawks thinks, starting to feel anxious. Certainly much too out of character for Dabi. Hawks swallows hard, hoping Dabi can't feel how tense he is. He can handle bitchy. He can handle needy and horny. Hell, he can handle rage and he could handle it if Dabi had his hand on his throat to choke the life out of him. But this is the one version of Dabi he hasn't trained himself to handle yet: vulnerable. And because of that, this is the most dangerous version.

Because nothing is ever off the table with Dabi, especially when his guard is down. He knows how fickle Dabi can be, after all.  

The other man closes his eyes, sighing as he brushes their noses together. His warm hand is still firm on Hawks' neck, easing the tension in Hawks' neck and shoulders.

Again, Hawks positively hates how Dabi can be both the source of his stress and the source of his relief from that stress.

"Good, because I want you with us when we make our move," Dabi says quietly. His grip tightens slightly, massaging into Hawks' skin.

"Don't ever betray me, little bird."  

And with that, he pulls away completely and departs without another word, leaving Hawks vulnerable to the sudden and intense chill that passes through the empty warehouse; though, Hawks can't quite say how much of it is simply the night breeze and how much is his nerves fraying at the ends.

He takes flight not long after Dabi leaves, the other man's words still echoing in his head as he lands on the roof of his agency, where a few of his lead sidekicks are already waiting for him.

Don't ever betray me, little bird.

I won't. Hawks had wanted to say out loud. But in the end, it's best if he keeps those words to himself, because he's not sure he doesn't mean them anymore.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

[nxrcissasmuses]

Veronica Rosamie Flores-Cooper

Fc: Shay Mitchell

Age: 30?

Occupation: labor and delivery doctor

The only child to her parents

She had a very nice childhood though there was always the pressure to be perfect. She strived for perfect grades and perfect friends

Growing up her mother put her in beauty pageants which she did until she went to Columbia. At her parents’ house is where her trophies and crowns are stored

Because of her parents being in the public eye of said occupations I need to come up with, she learned from a young age that appearances matter

This naturally leads to some issues she now faces in the matter of her divorce and her daughter which I’ll go into more a little later.

There’s much about veronica that scares her in the fact of how she was raised to always keep a smile on her face even in times of hardship that she feels a sense of fakeness to her.

One of her deepest fears is that eventually the line between real and fake will stay blurred and she’ll never get to be herself

Which is how i think her and Daniel first started out in their relationship. She was away at college in a whole nother state where she could finally be herself for once. And maybe that's why things were so good because she was actually enjoyable to be around.

But then the marriage had shattered the glass when her family started to get more involved back into her life and she kept seeing the flaws in herself and Daniel more and more

Her family and their relationship with her has become strained due to the divorce. It’s a stain they always seem to find and bring up.

Deep down she blames herself for the divorce and even misses Daniel sometimes. She’ll never admit to it though. In the end, they just weren’t good for each other and maybe if she didn’t let her mother’s words affect her so much they might’ve been good. It’s a what if she’ll always have. A regret.

But she can never truly say she hates Daniel and mean it. Not when he’s given her their daughter. She’s their saving grace when emotions run too high.

Another one of her deepest fears is her daughter turning out just like her. To have the fear of not being good enough. To strive to not just reach the ceiling but to break it. It’s a heavy burden she doesn’t want her daughter to have

What I would love to see for Veronica is that she becomes more of herself and not what her parents want. I want to see her thrive emotionally and mentally (and hell lets throw in physically). I want her to somehow try to stop drinking or a more reasonable goal to drink less. I want her to start believing in herself more and have more of a real confidence, not just the facade she puts on for people. I know her and Daniel will probably never be super close, but I know they’ll do whatever they can for Amelia to have a good enough childhood as she can for having divorced parents. But maybe they can become friends or at least entertain the idea of becoming friends once Veronica starts to show signs that she’s changing for the better. Maybe he sees her acting more like she was in college and he just becomes curious on what made this all happen when he clearly wasn’t the reason since they aint getting back together. But ya know just grow into a healthier co-parenting relationship. like they can both go to the park together (with whoevers SO as well) and like just be a normal family.  BASICALLY I JUST WANT GROWTH INTO A BEAUTIFUL ASS BUTTERFLY.

Back to some more bullet points cause i cant write like a legit bio rn

I feel like bc of her upbringing shes like hella into schedules and like has a daily planner of everything related to her life aka work and mia’s stuff and like the times daniel is suppose to have her ya know all the important things

I feel like her dress style is pretty much all neutrals. I know boring (as i look into my own closet of neutrals and jewel tones) BUT she’s a classy bitch and will let everyone know it

Uhhh, theres your headcanon of drinking but like we already know that but i thought id include it just so you know i remember it and the others of the charity and the unknown affair

Tbh i think knowing the affair is going to hurt waaaayyy more than the actual divorce papers so yes yikes daniel cause like they tried to save their marriage and it just didn’t work.

“Loving you was young, and wild, and free.

Loving you was dumb, and dark, and cheap.

Loving you was sunshine but then it poured.”

Right now in the timeline I think she feels very alone. But she’s also pushing herself away because she’s afraid of people seeing her all disheveled and not her usual go lucky self.

She’s totally her mother’s daughter.

she also has two hidden tattoos, both small. one is behind her ear and the other is near her hip.

Oh i also feel like in her little planner she has this list of the things both her and daniel agreed on with raising mia so that it’s not super different between the different houses. Like feeding schedules, snacks and what kind, her favorite tv shows and favorite foods at the moment.

And more about mia i like the idea of her having a little stuffed animal she sleeps with and daniel and veronica are like always stressed about where the damn thing is because its sacred at this point. It’s life or death if mister floppy ears or whatever name we want is not found and with mia.

I feel like she also has a lot of self doubt on if shes a good mom or not.

I also feel like she lashes out because of her self doubt in herself and the little voice in her head getting too loud.

Playlist: outta of my mind by khalid, wait a minute by willow, basically every post malone song main repeats are die for me and better now, and you know i hope by gabby barrett, say so by doja cat, nights like this by kehlani, more to come

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 9 - “He just told me what side of the fence to fall on” - Corey

Well that went my way for sure!! While unanimous, literally five minutes into the warzone I told Ian we have to go after Madison and Jacob. He agreed and then we rallied the troops. Love when a plan works out. 

An alliance called M&M&M was made between Matt, Madison, and I. We were thinking of doing Ian but we didnt want to push too hard because we didnt want to reveal our cards that we had something. I just hope us sacrificing Jacob will be a positive thing for us and not a negative. Im glad theres allinces forming now. Hope i can stay away from warzone this next round but who knows. Im going to try my hardest tho.

help. who knew that my blood revenge for wanting Nehe out resulted in ALL of the other Kilimanjaro reps to be voted off one by one. parting that with chips, there was 5 people repping that season... and now I'm the lone Survivor from that season. pray for me yalls.

Ugh!!! I blame Johnny for this. Scavenger hunt is usually my favorite challenge except the both times im doing it with Johnny :p  these are soooo weird again. Dealing with this challenge and moving my stuff from my apartment on friday/saturday will probably not get me immunity. Im still trying so hopefully everyone else is busy as well. I Curse Johnny but like only a small one. Like him spilling his fries on the floor. 🍟

Hosts: Another Ian confessional, hopefully he shuts up about his idol and actually give some insight into his game. Me: MY IDOL!!!!11!!1 IT IS MINE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS. On a real note, I'm not sure if I confessed this round yet that one of the reasons behind the Jacob vote was to put Nar in a numbers advantage should that come into play at anytime.  The point of the premerge phase is to build as many pathways to alliances/mutually beneficial voting blocks as possible that also have a vested interest to vote with you.  I have Maynor asking to be a duo with me, sure yeah man I do like you and hope to work with you deep in this game as someone that can help me cut Corey or Trace if working with them in the game becomes problematic, but I also know Maynor has a vested interest in Kait, which I do like Kait well enough but she can't be allowed to go on a run if I want a chance to make a run myself.  Corey wants to keep our partnership as secret as possible, which yes I do think is smart, it also relies heavily on trust.  At this moment in time I have no reason but to trust Corey.  That may change in the future, he wants to keep it secret, that's chill, but I'm going to have my own backdoor deals should shit hit the fan. Devon/Matt one of them put me as the scapegoat to Jacob, I don't know which and honestly I do not care which one of them it was. They are both standing in my way at this moment for the win.  That could change in the future.  The game is long and full of terrors.

this is it this is the round im goin to the w a r z o n e 

Im safe!!! Im glad cuz tomorrow is graduation party from my parents and didnt wanna attend tribal. But i feel like Drunk Maynor is being cheated out for this season. I dont have my drinking buddies. Maybe this season wont see Drunk Maynor and I could actually be good in this game.

Me: goes to warzone a bunch People in warzone: don’t target me at all ———— Last round: People in warzone: mention my name Me: flips that ish on Jacob REAL quick also me: HA NOT GOING TO WARZONE AGAIN FOR A HOT SEC BEST BELIEVE IM FINALLY IMMUNE. imagine that! I kinda tried for once! and I placed exactly where I needed to hehe.

Thomas is a fucking idiot honestly. Like, he has been to the war zone enough times to know that the WORST possible thing you can do is throw a name out on the first night. Everything always comes together a couple hours before tribal, and by putting names out there this early, he is basically just MAKING SURE that the vote will come down between him and Adrian. For background, Thomas came to me, still butthurt about being called inactive, telling me that he wants to vote Adrian. I am very into that plan, don't get me wrong. Adrian is one person that I have literally nothing in common with. But to come in, guns blazing, this early in the war zone is a HUGE mistake, one that will probably end in a lot of extra stress for Thomas. But, it is good for me, because even though Thomas likes to spill all the tea to me, he is someone that I could very well afford losing. Kait is finally in the war zone. This could also be a pivotal moment because I would be shocked if people do not gun for her this round. I don't really want her out yet because I feel like she's a great shield for the merge, but we shall see what people want. basically, even though I don't really have any of my closest allies in the war zone (ian, Corey, Madison), I might be okay because of Thomas v Adrian, and MAJOR threats being here. The only thing that could fuck me up is if Owen tries to pull something. I do not trust that kid and want him out early merge. But for now I am just trying to lay low and vote with majority.

against all odds, I'm still safe! Warzone looks like a crackden tonight and I'm nowhere near it. I hope Owen makes it out okay. Kait, though chaotic, is someone I'm getting closer to. I would like to have her around until around f9??? we'll see. Same kind of story w Maynor. I need Thomas and Stephen OUT. Timmy as well. They are on my Arya-style kill list. I've been immune for ??? 4 tribals in a row now??? I still have my save vote to use as I have not been to tribal since obtaining it. I have also acquired a rock-save thing that Ian and I dug up together. Basically, if we go to rocks, I can use it to save myself (immune from my rock being picked). Nifty lil power... Hopefully I also get this save vote and don't become the owner of a dead power. After tomorrow's tribal, we'll be final 14. 10 gone. only 11 more to go before I'm in FTC. or 12. I don't care. As long as I'm there in the end. Ideally, with Ian and Owen and I come out victorious. I am playing nice girl, liar AND schemer. The game is outwit, outlast and you can't outwit Corey Rae Jepsen baby! and if you want the truth, this is Corey. I suspect Owen-Kait-Thomas to vote the same way. i expect Adrian-Matt to vote the same way. Chloe and Stephen are wild cards. Trace... I am praying for to be okay as well. If Chloe-Stephen-Trace-Matt-Adrian work together, they could get Thomas or Kait out. We'll see! I feel bad wanting Kait out as I do like her but if she goes w/o me having a hand in it... I'll be sad bc I like her but happy bc I think she's too smart to keep very long. She'll catch on to me. She'll plan my demise, which is exactly why I need her close to me as long as she's here. Also - Maynor coming in 2nd? I'm out here busting my butt and they're gonna rank me number three? after someone who can't even barely walk and barely do anything and all he does is sit around and fuss and curse everyone.. I was VERY insulted. (this a crystal cox quote sgflksgls) But fr he said he barely did any. mmhmmmm.. If i was on the fence about him before, he just told me what side of the fence to fall on. 

Im glad Im safe. Idk how this  vote will actually go. I wish luck to thomas matt kait. And ithers but cant remember who from other side is in it. Today imma just keep talking to ian and corey to make deeper bonds with then and enjoying my grad party. Drunk maynor may leave a confessional later.

This warzone is by far the most crucial one in my game. I’m absolutely PARANOID at this point because Kait gave me some info that Ian is mad at me for telling Jacob to vote him, wasn’t my idea but okay. I’m at a point where playing in the middle will leave me getting absolutely squashed in the middle. My allies Kait and Adrian are totally at odds with each other, and Thomas is targeting Adrian and Adrian is targeting Thomas and like, I just wanna vote Chloe. I have the feeling that Adrian needs to go this time around, it would free me of the threat of being sign partners in this game and I’d rather leave bitter betrayals for the pre jury portion of the game. As long as I’m not getting votes and I can keep holding on to this idol and some semblance of good graces with everyone in the game I’m satisfied.

Well I forgot to submit the video confessional I will later lol but I want Adrian out. He seemed very d*ckish about me being inactive and I am not taking kindly to it. It seems Trace is with me and so it Kait and Owen. I hope I can get on more person so we can get Adrian out.

I'm highkey getting 15th again... and I'm gonna cry. Like this fucking hurts so much. People aren't talking to me and the few people are just talking about life and pretty much anything but the vote. Getting a third 15th placement will literally crush my heart and soul so much, so I pray that something works out in my favor.

So happy to be safe, didn't think I would be. Ummmmm, looking at who is going to tribal, i'm not sure who is going to get voted out. I would be so sad if Kait goes, but it would be a smart move in all honesty because this is the first time she's gone to tribal. Getting her or Owen out would be a big move, but I need them in the game for the time being because they are some of the only people who are seen as bigger challenge threats than me. Although I am only safe because of the tribe I'm on, I've never scored the best overall and so really it's an interesting scenario, if I was on the other tribe I would be at the warzone, yet on mine I got 3rd. I just hope it's not a unanimous vote because I want people to come back to camp with drama.

I feel more sick than I ever have and now I’m back in the war zone. How fun. I just hope I can manage to stay safe yet again, I feel like that’s unlikely though 

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

Its Alcohol Time!!!!!!!!

Show just got out and barely anyone messaged me the whole time whoops! I think I’m about to get blindsided tbh this is too quiet lmaooo but Kait and I pushed Adrian so hopefully that’s it. If not then it’s been fun. This seems too easy so I’m not expecting much nnnn but if I’m here.... I’m goin for it 

Im drinking more now. And im nervous who is leaving tonight. Hope the people im working with stay alive.

Good news! I won the past two challenges and have been safe!  That is awesome. Even better news is I just searched Q10 and got a hit which means I’m near an idol :)

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

I am drunk. And i miss havjng my drinkjng buddies in dani alyssa n jess. And havung jones be on call. I need to find some drinking buddies here to have more fun. Plus monty alyssa n johnny r doing amazing as hosts this seasob.

[staarknaked]

There is so much shit happening that I am stuck in a positive feedback loop of ever present anxiety and sadness that until this week I have successfully been staving off by playing very large amounts of Final Fantasy XII in my bedroom and pretending really hard that I know what I’m doing when I sew.

If anyone wants to know why I’ve spent the last several weeks of summer feeling like a complete failure of a functioning person, this continues below.

First off, it is really fucking weird being sad but not like, Depression Sad. For me Depression Sad is largely defined by the overwhelming presence of apathy that is mostly not overwhelming because it sucks all my feelings into a void and leaves only tiredness and resignation with a small amount of self-loathing if I have the energy. Depression Sad is great because I pretty much just sleep through it until it starts to go away. Sad because of Other Things, in comparison to what I’m used to, is Fucking Awful.

Second, apparently I’m compensating for the fact that I did not work in June or most of July by taking every fucking shift they call me with and then looking at my calendar and dying. I’m relief staff rn so they call me for everything, so on the docket I have two overnights on the weekend and then 2 day shifts immediately following. So in 4 days I work 2 night a and 2 days. What fun. I have also taken two Saturday shifts on both my free weekends. Like a dumbass.

This normally wouldn’t be a problem except I’m getting real tired of the petty shit the full time staff keep pulling and the fact that they refuse to address the racism and discrimination in the house and all but one of our non-white coworkers have quit and that’s because they work the night shift and never have to interact with the person who’s being a twat. (The fact that over 90% of the clients who come through the house are white despite the fact that we literally take people in crisis from the street is also super problematic because I have no idea if were racially discriminating on a street level too or if they’re just not accessing our services because they have other ones but that is 100% it’s own rant) 3 months ago I was literally writing and rewriting my resignation email in my head. That’s how much annoyance I have for this job. I was supposed to be applying for new jobs this month, before my cousin told me she needed me for the month of September and into October as full time office admin staff because it’s going to be busy season and she’s going on leave after her c-section. Which means sticking out my shitty weekend night rotation for an extra 2 months and then starting the job search and hoping like hell that I can find something with benefits because I need to go back to physio.

Why? Because right after I get home from hiking and climbing mountains i fucking cut open my foot and do mild tendon damage which results in me not being able to wear any shoe that covers the top of my foot and losing a large amount of mobility that I am only starting to regain. This has removed my ability to work out. When I don’t work out, all of my under developed bones start pulling out of their worn out sockets (thanks gymnastics!) And now I have a twisted psoas which is pulling my knee out of place and I am back to being in pain all the time. Everything I do involves moving my knee and thus experiencing pain. Super awesome.

I also feel like shit because since Sunday I have been puppy sitting and while I was paid extremely well, I literally cannot leave these dogs alone because they are a- puppies and b- toy breeds and thus, extra needy. This means I’ve done no work on either of my cosplays for fanexpo at the end of the month which is stressing me the fuck out because I am a perfectionist and already cry over cosplay problems and now I feel the time crunch. Which is only crunchy because my Papa fucking died unexpectedly in June which is why I’m fucking sad all the god damn time.

Compound all this with the fact that I am trying to find motivation to apply for an MA this September because my Papa really wanted me to not give up on my school goals but I literally never imagined a world where he wouldn’t be here to support me through this and my main reference didn’t reply to my email and my other reference was dismissed without cause from her position of 20 years which is super illegal and incited a rash of resignations among my volunteer group and I have been dealing with all my feelings by playing stupid amounts of Final Fantasy XII and pretending I know how to sew which I haven’t been doing since Sunday because puppies!

And then, let's tie all that up in a neat little bow of constantly beating myself up because I'm still sad despite logically knowing that I lost a father and that's going to fuck me up for a while. My saving grace is that I have 2 friends who I can talk to about it even though I feel like I'm bugging them I know that I'm not because the idea that being sad is stupid is actually stupid and all in my head.

I don’t know how coherent that was but it would be really great if either everything could fucking stop or if I could just take a reaaaally big step over all this bullshit and just, come to in October.

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 16 -  “I’m Gonna Commit Mass Arson TBH” - Evelyn

Alas, another confessional needs to be made, so here I am, to type out more nonsense.   To start off the confessional for this round, will just say, the past vote went good with Nicole going to jury, relieved she didn't have anything, and I think at least being honest with her right before the past tribal allowed me to stay in potential good graces with her, but time will tell on that front.   Now, for the start of this round, we had Touchy Subjects as our immunity challenge, which I loved so much, Touchy Subjects is by far my favorite org challenge to ever exist.   Sure, I didn't win immunity, but I could care less, as it was fun seeing what we all thought of each other.   Sarah is perceived as the biggest goat, which not overly surprising, but in a way, I actually thought I maybe would have been perceived that way, however, am grateful that I wasn't seen as the biggest goat, although still a partial goat nonetheless.  However, the things I did majority answers for were too trusting, which I knew full well I am too trusting, and that's probably never going to change.   Was voted as biggest liar, which was a little bit of a shock, since I have tried being as honest as I potentially could, but this is a game more about lying than honesty, so of course, you got to lie at points.   Then was one of the ones that was voted for funniest, which a little surprising, and the one that surprised me the most was being a majority answer for most likely to compete in actual Olympics.  Like, have these people seen me??????   Trust me on this, I don't think I'd ever be in the Olympics, as I am more a nerd than an athlete, that I don't have the build really to be an Olympian.   Anyways, Kevin ended up winning Immunity, which is fine, and plan for this round is to take out Caeleb, which is going to be a tough vote, as I do like him, but got to play with your head, not your heart, and Caeleb is just too big a threat to keep around, so ideally he goes this round.

The tribe chat is hilariously quiet. Just sayin

Well it's getting close to the finish line folks and it's no time for slowing down the gameplay. It's time to turn it up and start to get out the jury threats, sadly that means my boy Caeleb has to go this round :/ <3 this is a heartbreaker but he's played an amazing game and sadly I can't go any farther with him because of the chance he has an idol or goes on an immunity run because I don't win sitting next to him in the end.

I WON IMMUNITYYYY IM SO HAPPY I ALSO WON IT ON TOUCHY SUBJECTS WHICH IVE NEVER WON BEFORE THIS IS SO BIG IM SO HAPPY ok anyways basically in eves mind she wants stoner to go home but me and caeleb kinda want Sarah to go home but we need four and we thought Stoner and Darcy would be 2 plus us is 4, because we’re also trying to get our alliance of 5 to split the vote 4-3 but 4 on stoner but then we swap so maybe it’d go 5-2 BUT who knows, people are being very quiet and maybe the vote is just this easy or maybe they’re gonna blindside someone but guess WHAT it can’t be me and that’s all that matters my dudes !!! Hopefully Sarah goes but if not something went wrong cheers to Final 6!!!

If I go tonight, im gonna commit mass arson tbh, Ive worked way to hard to not get to the end, all of the little moves that i made that are probably gonna be over looked. Its just really stressful rn, bc I really really want this. And to know I may go tonight. Its a lot of stress. Idk I havent even heardmy name but I ALWAYS THINK ITS ME 

Last minute paranoia and now eve is also voting sarah. Honesty could be that I’m in danger and it’s necessary to save me skdjsj or people just be quiet. Either way the person who’s (hopefully) going helps me and now I’m in less trouble for it

I may be going home. I’m really bluffing I have an idol. Caeleb needs to go but I’m mad scared. 

Video coming soon

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode # 12: “I Can’t Shut Up to Save My Life” ~ Dana

i am actually trembling. will is so mad at me but it's okay. this feels okay. I'm literally the biggest rat in this series LMAO fkasdjh fuck I feel so bad for Ali rn but I also am....fkadshf really kinda happy idk. I just know a lot of heat is coming my way and Cameron's idols are going to make me pay for this

Everyone is mad. Everyone is crying. Everyone feels fucked over. But um. Everyone is me merge vote and I am everyone merge vote. So. I guess we’re even.

im so sorry

Hi im drunk and im here to say that I almost cried in the club tonight because of how much i miss Will.   I just feel really alone and I think everyone hates me, especially owen, and im just trying to be friends n have fun and make it to the end of the game and also win is that too much to ask. IDk I played myself.  Also I actually just started crying now writing this yikes. I dont know what to do, I'm never in the minority because usually I just get voted out over all my allies because i'm upsetting. I don't know what to say to people, I don' trust anybody, why is kevin in the game. Does Ashvika actually like me? WHo knows. I'm just happy I wasn't totally blindsided. I knew Will might leave, I knew he was getting votes and I let it happen so I wouldnt get any which makes me a snake ass bitch. I just couldnt believe his vote out stayed so air-tight with the exception of Ashvika letting me know what happened. Idk if this means she wants to work with me, probably not, who would, she didn't respond to my pms after the vote, but i'm trying not to stress. Hopefully I can just continue to be a meme and appear non threatening but I just want some tea im getting thirsty nd also i love to strategize i crave it. Remember... I'm the village idiot? Like I will photoshop as many lizard hidden immunity idols on these people as i need to if these snakos dont vote me out thank u so much. This is the first time in my life where everyone hates me more than I hate myself and i just cannot handle IT. 

I...can't believe that worked??? I can't believe I voted in the majority??? ???????????? I'm really happy about this and I hope the Soup alliance (??? where did soup come from) can stick together even if just for one round. The biggest problem is if Cameron or someone else has an idol. Owen told me an idol had gone missing in one of the areas which means someone has already gotten it so we have to tread very carefully if we don't wanna get fucked.  

I love filming a 30 minute confessional about the game, where I get upset again over Will hating me and crying over how much I love Owen and Emily. I'm a mess sakdjhfa

You know? No matter what I do in this game, I’m going to be deemed a threat. Even if I don’t do shit. Even if I just sit and take orders. Hm. Well. Here’s to proving people right! If anyone’s upset with me, just know that they woke me up! Threat Emily is here and she’s ready to fucking win.

I love Ali. I love that he's such a good friend and that we're so able to move past things like this - I really do want to go far in this game with him. It's what we deserve. Wouldn't it be cute if Owen got 4th again too <3

this would be a better challenge if we could discuss xo but I think like....there isnt any way we shouldnt win unless someone is intentionally messy. two groups of people, four A's and five B's. no matter how it gets cut, whoeveer starts, one A and one B should end up in the final two with three As and four Bs voting, so someone from B SHOULD win, I think. It just alternates who starts each time, A, B, A, B or B, A, B, A, until yeah one from each is left. and it'll be easy to see who a snake is bc we directly see the lists. I'm more worried about Ashvika and Kevin at this point....but oh well. I also need to be on high alert of getting idoled out this round. Cameron is denying that he has two idols which like....yeah I'd way rather have Ashvika or Emily have one and be lying than Cameron have one, but at the same time I'm just gonna like assume  ksadjhf that Cameron has two :) worst case scenario :) so I like?? would think he uses both of them this round maybe unless he is worried more about himself, and also ugh idk like ashvika or kevin could flip or even emily/ali although I think the three of us can trust each other rn. idk yet.

I came in second... again. Woohoo! I love immunity challenges yes I do! :—————) ________________________________________________________________

(This was filmed like 7 hours before the immunity challenge)

The soup alliance is hopefully sticking together!!!! Unfortunately we can't get Cameron out so we're playing some 4d chess mind games tonight. The plan's to vote Ruthie, and then we tell the others...Zach or Cameron, I'm not sure I already forget. Not like they'll approach me about this but you know. My ass will scream if things flip on us because people are rats, double the screaming if it's me who gets flipped on butttt things are looking good so far, but then again I've found that it's when I'm most confident in our plans that I get blindsided. 

Welcome to my roundly long confessionals where I, Zachary rae, gives information on the past few days. Before we begin, I should put a disclaimer - this may be the last one! --- Hello fans! So where do I begin. Last vote Dana and Will called me in paranoia and, frankly, they were right! However, on that call I suggested that if the idea of them having majority (or half; 5) was accurate, we may as well just not split and pray for no idols. Dana didn't like that idea, and in hesitation, asked to split the vote 3-2 and... yeah. Bye Will. I was like crying afterwards though cause I genuinely love him and he's a great person and ugh it sucks cause I really wanted to continue working with him and i'm just so disappointed. Moving forward, I made an alliance of four [Ruthie/Zach/Dana/Cameron], entitled "Will's Puppets".  In this immunity, it's common sense by any mathematical logistics that one person from each "side" will make final two, and one of them five will win immunity. However, Cameron adjusted our views and just saved Ali and maybe it was because they didn't comprehend what a proper strategy was, or perhaps to build bonds with Ali. In the end, I voted (once again, wow) in the minority and for Emily to win immunity, but Ali came out victorious. Good job for him! Going into tribal it's kind of like... there are 5 people on one side, vs us four. Dana and I talked and it's kind of like... we needed a plan. Ideally, everyone knows that Cameron (and Ali) have an idol. They want Cameron out, I believe THAT part of their expression, but they know he isn't easily struck as he's likely playing his idol tonight. Dana and I realized a good way to escape, since it's probably better to take out one of us, is to get in the good graces of Emily and Owen. I like them both as people, I genuinely do, but in this game they are two of the biggest threats to win. What we are suggesting to Owen is that in the event we take out Ruthie this vote, and then Cameron next, it's final 7 and that's when you need to start realizing who you want to be with in the finale. Dana called with Owen for so long suggesting that if me and her are safe (we're trying to separate ourselves slightly but like saying we both think alike), then we can help him take out Emily at 7. He needs the numbers since Emily is a powerful player. I don't know if he sees value in me but hopefully he likes me cause he thinks i'm funny and I love him. I go to Emily and I say that I will make sure Cameron plays his idol as my piece of leverage to keep me safe. They vote out Ruthie, Cameron flushes his idol and goes next, and then it's FFA at final seven, and I think at that time Dana and I are safe for one vote. Do I want to go to the end with Dana though? HELL NO!! Originally I was thinking I would love to sit with Kevin and Ruthie. If Ruthie goes, then I think i'd want to go with Kevin and Ali. Maybe Ashvika but... i'm not sure. She's just so adorable and likeable but she's not playing strategically amazing like other people. Neither am I though so I can't talk. Do I think Emily's being honest with me though when she leaked that "Ruthie's the vote and she wants to clue me in"? Not at all. I would not be surprised if I leave tonight, and she better be able to justify herself when she lies. She's manipulative and a liar (IN A GOOD WAY I STAN!!) but like I don't vote bitterly, I vote who I think I connected with more and played better, and if you can't justify why i'm the good vote this round (which I truthfully disagree i'm a good vote this round), then you ain't getting my vote. I also think if I survive I can easily go final 4/5. Dana's a bigger threat than me, which is my strategy to align with physically bigger threats so i'm able to slide by like a little snake, and say Ruthie/Cameron leave next, then Dana, one of Emily/Owen and Ashvika even are the big threats. I don't see how I will go unless it's final 4/5 but who knows. I'm not being cocky but that's how I see things, and if they let Dana make it further than me, which is possible, i'll be shocked. I really will be. Also can I just say how much I adore Owen. Dana said he talked about how funny I was and he pmed me saying that i'm funny and hilarious and despite the occurrences in this game, he'd love to be friends and I agree. Though this is a message reassuring i'm probably leaving tonight, I adore him and he has my vote 100% if he makes FTC and I leave. I don't want to leave, but that's the fact. Weirdly - well not weirdly but just... I don't know. I'm troll. I'm just trying to play fun but I really don't want to leave tonight like i'll cry. I've had so much fun and i'm not ready to leave and... ugh. I really want to be here and prove myself because I don't think I have and I don't want to see myself as a flop. Not saying 10th+ is a flop, but saying that I haven't done anything or utilized my All Star spot yet, and it's just... ugh. I'm defeated. I hope I can stay to keep going further in this game but... I don't know. I hope this isn't my last confessional. I really hope I get to stay and... elaborate on my amazing gameplay. Joke, of course, but I do hope I get to stay. please!!! :(

This could be my last confessional. When I go home tonight and become the long suffering 4th juror I have waited 8 games and lots of failed strategy to become, I just want to say it’s been a fun game and I genuinely love everyone. Tribal is in 3 hrs and I just don’t know how i’m Voting. The biggest meme of all is that I implicitly trust Owen, who I feel is far and away the best player in this game. I told him I don’t think he can get to the end with goats, because they’ll all flip on him, and I think that’s true. He needs other key players as buffers towards the end. Inevitably when the Emily v. Owen power struggle for power, glory, and stardom breaks out, I’d LOVE to be a spectator still in the game. I will vote how Owen tells me tonight, and even though he has promised me i’m not going home, i’m Not sure he’s in the position to promise that. I just dunno. I had such a good talk with him last night and tbh if nothing else that was amazing jury management. He knows I can’t shut up to save my life, and he just let me talk for hours. So thank u for validating my goblin personality. Also he told me he thought I was smart which honestly... my kink thank u. I also talked to Ali for a while this morning, and he says he’s doing his best to keep me and Cameron safe, I believe it idk. Like why lie to me i’m On the bottom and everyone knows i’m an idol-less sad snake, so like no point tbh. The hardest part about playing with him is that I feel like I want him to succeede more than he wants himself to succeede. Like I can’t want it for you, and had so much to work with, I just wish he would own it. He’s like a defenseless almond and I just want him to be a bad bitch ya know? Finally, I’m trying to play with Ashvika here and use the fact that she game me info last round that I “kept quiet” as a bargaining chip to show I can be trusted. Will Ashvika end up as my target or my closest ally u be the judge. Overall I’m so prepared to get voted out i’ve all but made total peace with it. Hopefully I can push through tonight wih my sparkling personality and some wheeling and dealing. ________________________________________________________________ Owen stopped talking to me about the game which means i’m going home. I love watching my own death occur in real time. 

thanks for reminding me about the way zach pronounces mario. I know what I'm writing on the parchment tonight.

I..... have no idea what's going on tonight.

THAT WASNT MY LAST CONFESSIONAL BECAUSE.. OWEN AND EMILY ARE SNAKES! (mario)

iiiii feel really uneasy about ashvika for some reason??? idk she keeps asking if we're voting for ruthie, so she could be planning to #flip on us which would be a dumb move, or maybe she's just confused and if that's the case then me too. Owen and I kinda talked about this the night before because we know she's somewhat attached to Dana but like we ain't voting Dana so I hope that's not a problem. And I mean we both voted for Ruthie at the Duncan blindside so like??? I hope she wants to do it again?? I just think any of us flipping now especially would be bad for us and for them. I have secure trust in everyone else in this alliance so like...let's make it through please??? If anyone goes home I hope it isn't Emily because I think her vote negator can play an important role in f8, no matter who goes home tonight. Iiiii just don't want things to get fucked up tonight!!! and i haven't talked to anyone from the other side (i mean they could approach me but yknow two way street and all that) and idk if i should??? bc being too pushy and saying oh yeah we're voting cameron could be a big miss steak??? 

I can’t be the only one who sees that Owen is aligned with Cameron right?? I thought I would have been one of his closest allies after the duncan voted but he didn’t save me and later chose to save Cameron over ali even though he’s supposedly in the minority, and now he’s vying not to vote Cameron out? I understand he makes some good points but  it’s sketchy 

im going home bye ________________________________________________________________ I LITERALLY FEEL WHAT IS HAPPENING DSAKSJHF I AM GETTING FLIPPED ON BY EMILY PROBABLY EITHER THAT OR LIKE???? IM GETTING IDOLED TF OUT OF HERE AND I JUST WANNA DIE WHERE IS ALI I NEED TO TALK TO ALI I WAS SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HIM FSDHAFHJ GOD

Day by day, I get closer to voting Kevin as the sole survivor of Athena All-Stars. Congratulations, I played myself, but Kevin played me better. 

ali is rlly acting sketchy why :'( i think I'm going home ugh ________________________________________________________________ I dont think ali will idol me and I want 2 scream dfskajhkdjfhkjsdhfjkhsdkjfhkjsdhfkjds

so I won immunity and literally am confessing at tribal and am a mess

Ruthie becomes the 12th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 5-4 vote, and the 4th member of our jury. You can see Ruthie’s preseason interview here.