#this is in memory for 2015-2017 me rip

[halfpastdead]

in honor of my twelfth paramore show tonight i peeked to see what songs i've never heard live and i am posting for me

AWKIF

All We Know (not played since 2007, think they need to bring it back for the nostalgia)

Brighter (played at Parahoy 2016 & 2018)

My Heart (played at Parahoy 2016)

Riot!

Hallelujah (played at Parahoy 2016)

Fences (not played since 2013, another need!)

We Are Broken (not played since 2008, I get it)

Born for This (played at Parahoy 2016, would love this in the new era)

Paramore

Grow Up (played on Parahoy 2014, 2016, 2018, one of my fave self titled)

Interlude: Holiday / Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore (Parahoy 2014)

Escape Route (Parahoy 2014 only, this song means a lot to me I'd be happy to hear it)

Native Tongue (never played, would be very surprised if ever)

After Laughter

Tell Me How (Art + Friends 2018 only)

Additional

Decoy (last played 2009, not part of Riot! US release)

Monster (last played 2013, absolute banger should return)

Hello Cold World (Parahoy 2014)

In the Mourning (pulled out of decade retirement especially for Grand Ole Opry 2023)

Renegade (Parahoy 2016, harder to sing than All I Wanted arguably lol)

[twipsai]

god, this took me DAYS to make, but i finally finished my interpretation of Dedf1sh and Paul throughout the years!!! some notes under the cut lol

2015

Ahato and Marina are childhood friends, Marina was even there for her when her parents passed. Marina helped her take care of Paul when they were growing up to the point that Paul considered her a second big sister. this, of course, changed when

the two worked on music together when Ahato wasnt working (which she got increasingly busier up until she left to go to kamabo), and the melody for Chopscrewey and Crush were made by them during this time!

while Paul was a musical genius, he did struggle in school quite a bit as his creative drive often overwrote his working drive :P

the skull/octo logo is a logo they made for themselves for when they got to the surface and formed a band together

Ahato dropped out of school to work full-time to support her and Paul (which,,, isnt very uncommon for octarian families)

2017

the Kamabo sanitization program (tm) requires patients to remove strings such as shoelaces and hoodie strings from their clothing to reduce the risk of them trying to strangle themselves or each other, which is why Ahato doesnt have shoelaces

Paul didnt go to the surface until he was recruited to Sashimori, and started living with the three of them

Ahato has amnesia, she knows she had a family, but cant quite remember who they were or where she even came from. most of her memories are muscle memory, which is why she remembers how to make music and such

Ahato cant hear anything around her-- she wont become out-right aggressive when approached like most sanitized octos are, but she will be a little jittery and on-guard

2022

im not really prepared to say too much about Ahato/Acht here bc of how little we know about her role in side order as of writing this (1/7/2024)

Paul has mostly moved on from trying to find Ahato, while he does wish they could be reunited, a lot of his memories of that time have become fuzzy... he wouldnt be able to recognize her face if he saw it.

Ahato's dress got ripped when she first left kamabo (which was a few months after octo expansion)-- she found some red thread to stitch it up and lace up her shoes! :D

on that note, the addition of more red in her design is to symbolize how more and more memories of her life are resurfacing-- same thing with being able to see her eye on her visor

also her eye is supposed to look like a turret from portal lol

Paul regularly commutes from inkopolis to splatsville-- i think he went crazy for the alterna tracks when they were first recovered lol

andddd,,, thats it!!! if you have any questions about my headcanons for these two, feel free to ask in my inbox!!! though i dont have EVERYTHING fleshed out yet, im still waiting for side order to release before i figure it all out ^^;

[peacereturnedtothevalley]

My tumblr and online life history. If you even care (it’s long and rambling I’m bored on a plane)

[pretend there is a read more button here and just keep scrolling]

I got a tumblr summer of 2011 bc my brother kept showing me #fresh memes and around that time my online activity was scrolling endlessly though canihazcheeseburger network of meme sites. I was 17 so lol 12 years…

it started with memes and fandom type gifsets (and following some irls) but after a year or so I completely entered my #sjw era and nothing a decade ago is perfect but I’m always vaguely thankful for tumblr putting me in that direction

in 2015 I got frustrated and locked myself out of my account on purpose and then could not reverse it the next day because I changed the email to an email yahoo decided to delete lol.

I made a new account soon after but exclusively for following and reblogging steven universe stuff but I ended up becoming more and more general again after a few months… I remember so much mess and drama but I also never directly talked to any of those people so it was just a one person stomach ache time

Got really into taz in my last quarter of college in the summer (monster factory a few months before) and this was what made me start a twitter in 2016… I never talked to people directly online before as much except a handful of mutuals (hi if you’re still on here) so slowly joining in that was fun! Also messy I saw all of the highs and lows of taz fandom, made and lost friends (mostly from the periphery of a group but a handful of direct breaks lol) and in that actual play space I had friends get into friends at the table… I listened to a few eps of counter/weight and could Not keep it going so when twilight mirage was starting it was a good opportunity to follow along instead of a backlog. Also finally realized I was slowly iv rating to tweeting full time rip

Also 2017 I made a few fatt friends but I was scared to talk to the fandom bc I still liked taz a lot and fatt fans you know how we are (I too am like that now) but anyways I had like 10 followers to my name and nothing to lose so I started posting more in 2018 and I have gained lifelong friends in the fandom since :’) I feel like twilight mirage was such a contentious era so I got really close with my #tmstan friends and all the stress of that time is a memory now….

I did listen to almost every season eventually but I did fall off of keeping up with fatt 2021/2022 I think (so sorry sangfielle)

unexpected side plot of my life is loona and kpop in general. I was vaguely into loona from seeing stuff on tumblr in 2018 and something clicked for me with the butterfly comeback in 2019, as in it was the first time I was watching performances on music shows and it was really cool to me and I also had no idea what was going to happen to me (the great 2019 loona hiatus) and I slowly was starting to follow kpop liking accounts outside of a handful of tumblr people I followed on twitter and unfortunately the hiatus made me check out other groups and I love the music (loved…? It’s still good when it’s good but it’s not always good) and understood too much about the minutia behind the industry but I also made more lifelong friends (I hope? Hi carbs)

Kpop era coincides with my not listening to sangfielle era but I think my attention span was shot and all I wanted to do was fill my head with music…

Wait okay I had also a career change (don’t worry about that) and also got really into final fantasy xiv. So that’s another era of my life that is neither fatt or kpop. I was gaming so much and I love my cat girl and my catboy wife. I started right before endwalker dropped and now I’m too caught up but I was solidly playing for 2 years straight. I’m playing Zelda for now but I’m almost done

Okay anyways fatt season palisade started up earlier this year and my fatt era is back in full swing. Went to a fatt friends’ wedding this april. Palisade is really good every week. And now twitter is dying so I have returned to Blog for Real. I’ll post my cohost hear if I end up there more lol

[thedavinoparadox]

Reading Wrap-Up (September)

🍂☕️🍁

8th October 2023, Selenio

And suddenly it’s October…

No, but seriously: this month has come quite quickly and I have yet to decide if I’m already ready for all the change it will bring. Not only will I open fresh new pages in fresh new books but also in my personal life, as my life in university will begin on Monday… I still can’t quite fathom it.

September has been filled with preparations for the time ahead but also with new reads. I spent my time tying up loose ends left from August and already started planting some seeds for the upcoming month.

Bella Ciao by Raffaella Romagnolo (2019)

Italy in the late 19th century. Giulia leaves Sicily for America after discovering that the man she is supposed to be marrying has fallen in love with her best friend, Anita. Decades later she returns and the little old town awakens long forgotten memories. But life has happened to Anita as well. Will the two women meet again? And what has really happened during the long time that has passed? In August I surprisingly discovered a certain comfort in generational dramas. I began reading this book while laying on the beach, enjoying the Italian sun. But somehow there was something about it that made me put it down for a few weeks. The writing and characters were incredibly realistic yet also incredibly melancholic. I loved how there usually was a deeper hidden meaning in some of the scenes which often felt like expertly placed punches in the gut. A dark, yet interesting beginning to last month’s reading.

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata (2017)

An autobiographical novel by a young Japanese woman who has had to struggle through her fair share of depression, eating disorders, anxiety and overall feeling like she has not found the ‘key’ to living yet. My sister has recently re-discovered manga and although are tastes often differ substantially, she believed I would enjoy the refreshingly honest psychological aspect of this work. And she was absolutely correct. There is something incredibly heartfelt and direct about the way, Kabi Nagata tells her story. She doesn’t sugarcoat her feelings and the way she talks about mental and physical health truly feels refreshing. She tackles ‘taboo’-topics in such an honest way, it makes them lose their sense of ‘unspeakableness’ often given to them by our modern society.

The Grain of Sand (Das Sandkorn) by Christoph Poschenrieder (2015)

It’s the beginning of the last century. Tolmeyn is arrested while spreading sand from different places in Italy in the streets of Berlin. With his questioning at the police station his life story slowly gets unveiled and the mystery behind his reasoning gets revealed piece by piece. It took me a couple (hundred) pages to truly be sucked into this novel. This might be attributed to the writing style of dividing it into shorter, almost diary-like entries and police reports, as it sometimes rips you out of the plot for a few seconds. Nonetheless, Poschenrieder has created an excellent morally gray character with very human emotions and flaws. He is trying to exist in a world which shuns the very core of his identity and has to adapt a kind of ‘secret code’ to navigate it unharmed. His life is filled with unanswered questions and unfulfilled desires. His struggles seemed authentic, thanks to the research that undoubtedly went into it. I do believe a story just like Tolmeyn’s could have easily played out in this way just a few decades ago. This book also ignited the flame of my passion for art history inside of me again.

The Obliterated (Die Vernichteten) by Ursula Poznanski (2014)

In September I was finally able to finish listening to the last installment of Ursula Poznanskis dystopian ‘Eleria’-trilogy. It concludes the events surrounding a group of ejected ‘darlings’ or ‘sphere inhabitants’ who first make contact with the outside world by means of a seeming misunderstanding and slowly start to unravel the conspiracy, the government which they have always put their unwavering trust in, has spun. It really took me three books to realize how fond I have grown of these characters and how invested I had become in the story detailing their adventures. Every single time I open one of her books or start listening to an audiobook by her, I am amazed by Ursula Poznanskis writing and how effortlessly she manages to create a vivid picture in my mind. I am a little bit ashamed at how late I am to reading these books and sort of wish I’d decided to do so when I was still in my ‘sci-fi’-phase a few years ago. But in my opinion, even someone who is not as invested in this particular genre is fully able to enjoy these books. There is just something so well done and satisfying about the way everything is wrapped up with a neat little bow in the end. A feeling which I get from most (if not all) of her work.

Dangerous Holidays - The Alps by Anna von Planta (2017)

This wonderful collection of short stories and novel excerpts all centered around the alps was gifted to me by one of my favorite professors and during the last month of summer I decided to take a trip down the very short memory lane. There is just something special in reading about your homeland (or better: home region). In this case, it was made even more special by the fact that so many of these places, the people living there and their practices and little quirks felt so familiar. Although most of these stories are set in Switzerland there are many similarities between the people from the places I’ve lived in and the Swiss. This novel really was a compilation of some of the best works in modern and classic fiction and I can not recommend it enough to anyone coming from or meaning to visit the alps.

Stories from Duckburg: Monsters, Mummies and Mutants! (2023)

Ever since I was a child I have loved Donald Duck and his friends and family. And I believed there was no better way to end my high school career (and subsequent ‘student’-status) than to practice some self-care by indulging in some nostalgic comics again. In this case, you either enjoy the humor in Duckburg or you don’t… there’s not much of a recommendation I can speak here. Only perhaps that if you’re looking to get back into reading comics again after a long time I’d recommend reading these ‘specials’ and analogies first because picking one of the seemingly millions of regular copies at random seems impossible. This little book was just the thing to put me in the spooky fall mood and end September with.

This little recap of September made me appreciate the diversity of genres I was able to read last month just a little bit more. I’m a strong believer of the fact that you need variety and alternation in your every day life. Not simply in reading matters but also in each and every other aspect of life. Only this variety can bring full happiness and fulfillment to one’s numbered days on earth.

[days-of-steam]

Days Of Steam 008: Icarus Redux

(Released July 11, 2023)

Restrained freakout sonics and subcranial rhythms from @icarus-redux — “earth-moving kicks, baleful, eyes-dilated synths, and rough, mostly unsampled breakbeats. Fog machine bathing all as one.” Inspired as an artist by a mixed bag of artists and theorists that cast light on the darkness - Fisher, Graeber, Preciado, Shadow, Sprinkles, Tiqqun, Weatherall - this mix is one of the first I’ve heard that approaches AI-assisted technologies (demuxing, polyrhythmic mixing, etc) in a way that reminds me of early cut-and-paste techniques or Richie Hawtin’s Decks x EFX mixes that reassemble contexts on a micro-level, not just layering tracks over each other but reconstructing them, and here it’s far more subtle. It’s enticing and unnerving to me but such is the effect of the dawn of a new form of technology that has the principle for use and abuse. Here it’s done to only positive effect, again highlighting the spaces between the notes, the snatches of memory that flit through your brain. A lot of the tracks from the early 2010s are records I remember hearing and playing when I lived in Leeds, which I had associated with a very different scene that I naively believed at the time would never truly take off Stateside. At the same time, Disclosure were getting big then and I thought the US would pass them over. From downloading italo and house rips off of Bicep's old blog to seeing them headline warehouses in Brooklyn that charge $40+ admission. Mais je divague...

Bianca Scout - Kingdom [First Terrace, 2022] Herbert - Deeper (Basic Soul Unit Remix) [Curle, 2016] T++ - Dig [Honest Jons, 2010] Avatism - Self Control [Vakant, 2017] Basic Soul Unit - Jak'd Freq (A Made Up Sound - Puur Natuur Mix) [Crème Organization, 2010] Ayln - Victim [Nous, 2018] Tenebre - Axe Nord-Sud [WNCL Recordings, 2018] Reckonwrong - Morton [Pinkman, 2015] Taraval - Bart's Sanctuary [Text, 2016] Blawan - Iddy [Hessle Audio, 2010] Martyn - Body Music [Dolly Dubs, 2018] Pugilist - Déjà Vu [Banoffee Pies, 2022] Ryan James Ford - Brixa Endt [SHUT, 2018] Shed - Lumber Fix TT [The Final Experiment, 2018] Private Press - Wetweird [Of Paradise White Label, 2022] Clark - Superscope [Warp, 2014] Andrea - Rainbow [Ilian Tape, 2015] Glaskin - Grey Lines [Hotflush, 2018]

[lukalovesyou]

Hi! 8th grade me is sobbing 🤡🤡🤡

Welcome back to Luka oversharing 🤡🤡🤡

I saw Dan’s video earlier in my recommendeds and I haven’t been the same since. I’m a pot of emotions right now, mainly nostalgia. I’m remembering how much both Dan and Phil’s videos helped me back when I was thirteen and closeted and alone and so d a m n sad like holy shit. I remember being at school and all I could think about was going home to watch Dan and Phil’s videos because I felt like I didn’t belong there. I felt so alone and isolated back during my middle school days. I was the only lesbian I ever met (at least I thought that) and I felt suffocated and trapped every day because i felt so damn different. I was legit the only emo whore i knew besides everyone i surrounded myself with on the internet. I had ~1 semi consistant friend and I felt like all I had was Dan and Phil,, no joke.

I was this way until I promoted from Middle school to high school. There I made plenty of new friends and strengthen bonds with people who were there with me before. Most importantly, i met my future girlfriend who was (and obviously still is) the person to bring joy and light into my previously dark and gloomy life. [Side note: the part of Dan’s video where he mentioned that Phil was the first person he truly felt comfortable with and then called him his “soulmate” hit me so fucking hard because that describes exactly how I feel about my girlfriend. I don’t mean this in a “oHmYgOd PhAn iS rEaL” way but It gave me chills because I know that feeling so so well that it shocked me,,, other people feel shit like that it’s not just me,,,,damn] Everything about me began to change. Black jeans and Steven Universe t-shirts were traded in for overalls and more colorful attire. My music taste went from basic emo music to indie. I cut my hair short like I’ve always wanted. I started wearing makeup, a passion that brings me so much joy and has helped me connect with more people. Most importantly, I stopped relying on Dan and Phil for that happiness and friendship and I left the phandom that year.

They helped me during my dark times yet they were such an unhealthy coping mechanism. I’m still very glad I had them and even happier that I got rid of them before i got to the point of no return. I shouldn’t have let my attachment to them become too personal and invasive, especially in the shipping aspect of it. I would read fanfiction of them and constantly watching “phan proof” videos. It never occurred to me how weird this was, especially because I viewed them as my best friends. Looking back, I just wanted what they had. I was envious of how close they were and the romantic relationship that was portraied in the fanfics. Now I can confidently say I have what I wished for. I am in love with my best friend, my soulmate. No matter what, however, they will always have a part in helping me become the person I am today and I’m so thankful for their voice.

Now, a mainly out and generally happy 16 year old, I can’t help but think of the past. My past self would’ve sobbed watching his latest video. I would’ve rewatched it a billion times and cried each time. That video would’ve reminded me that I truly wasn’t alone. I may have not had anyone then but I would in the future. It would remind me that there are others like me even if I only spoke to them on the internet. I would’ve know that love for me was out there, even as a queer individual. I would’ve known it was ok to be me, even if that’s not what society views as important. I’m so glad I was able to realize this, even without his video. I’m glad I could make lasting friendships. I’m so thankful that I’m in a stable and healthy relationship with my soulmate (a thing I thought I’d never say). Most importantly, I’m so glad I grew up and out of that toxic stage of my life. I have both Dan and Phil to thank.

So let me emphasize this,, DANS VIDEO IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!! And if I see you shitting on him I will FIGHT!!! NO!!!!!!!! CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video WILL help kids who are just like middle school Luka (and many of you). It will show them that they aren’t alone. It’ll show them that they aren’t weird. It’ll give them hope. I’m am so so SO proud of Dan for coming out today. I’m also proud of Phil for coming out on twitter as that takes as much balls as a 45 minute video does. This video represents the queer kids of the past and the present. I hope this video will help all the queer kids of today and tomorrow. I can proudly say that I’m forever grateful for both Dan and Phil.

Thank you @danielhowell and @amazingphil for everything.

NOW !!!!!! LETS !!!!!!! GIVE !!!!!!!!! THEM !!!!!!!!!NOTHING !!!!!!!!!!!BUT !!!!!!!!!!!SUPPORT !!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

👋✨💗 10, 22 & 29

10. what was your first concert?

h o n e s t l y i was very late to the concert game. I saw Ingrid Michaelson in 2015 or 2016 I believe. Jukebox the Ghost was opening and they were my favorite band at the time.

22. name a song that reminds you of one of your best memories.

oh my gosh. "Supercut" by Lorde. My summer of 2017 after graduating college. I was really falling into depression, but I was able to spend it with two of my best friends in the world. We would "joyride" for hours and blast music. It was like my last little kernel of childhood.

29. is there any song that you mostly like, but there’s one specific part of it that you don’t like as much? if so, what is it?

Oh my god. Yes. YES. "Cherry Red" by The Groundhogs rips until the very end when it's like an unbearable grating droning sound that, if I'm blasting the music, it TERRORIZES me.

Music Asks 🎼

[broxklynn]

The End Of My Candy Love

Warning!

Alright, so. This post will contain a lot. First of all, it's gonna be really sloppy. I'm very emotional person and I easily get attached to games, movies and stuff. I know it's a bit weird, but yeah, I'm a weird person. Anyway, that's why there's a warning: there's gonna be a lot of sloppiness, grammar mistakes (at least I think so, specially since english isn't my native languange) and it's probably going to be long. So, if you're intrested in reading my thoughts about everything - good luck.

First Adventure

I first heard about "My Candy Love" in 2015, six years ago. So, I was basically a baby (I'm pretty young). And I started playing a year after, I got totally obssesed with Lysander and I fell in love, seriously, haha. I was into writing back then, but I couldn't find any ideas on "what to write?" and MCL gave me just that - inspiration (that's most likely why I'm just a romance freak).

My Story

You know, I was a child so I couldn't really pay for AP, but I always found some kind of way to get them. But then I got my phone I just used money from that, geez, I was nuts. The old AP system was so iconic, looking for Nathaniel, finding Kiki, I'm gonna miss it.

Anyway, I got along with Castiel pretty well (which suprises me 'cause I found about walkthroughs in 2017, like year after, so maybe it was because I was a brat?), but I adored Lysander. Oh, I also loved Ken (I was so sad when he went away) and Nathaniel. After I met Armin, I liked him too.

Again, being a child and playing a game like this I came across all diffrent kinds of emotions. I was laughing, crying, dying from embaressment (this thing with Nath and locker room, aaa) and getting seriously mad (Deborah's arc, Priya, Charlotte). I remember impatiently waiting for new episode to come out or crying my eyes out during Lysander's amnesia plot. Jesus. I loved the way Castiel was teasing Candy, I loved this cute-clumsy Kentin, I loved the old Nathaniel, I loved Armin and most of all - I loved my precious Lysander. I adored the interactions between characters, how funny or cringy they were and how much fun I had. I even like this secret-dating plot even when it got on my nerves. I still remember staying up late to watch videos like "lysander illustrations" and stuff. I also really enjoyed reading MCL manga and I spent hours trying to translate it from Spanish to English or my native languange (funfact: I still haven't finished it! I don't know where to find those mangas) or trying to draw something from the game up ending up terribly failing. Anyway, I was crying during the prom thing, my Candy was so grown-up, I got emotional, haha. So, 40 episode came in. I was pretty excited 'because, me, being extremely naive (I got to say, I've never had a problem with Beemoov before, I started playing MCL in 2016 and Eldarya in 2017, so there were no major issues with them, only the price of PA, I think) thought that my Lysander is going to propose (I was a child, ok?) and maybe, there's going to be a second season with us living together. Haha, how naive I was. Whole episode 40, really got me tearing up, I was a wreck, seriously (When Kentin couldn't take Candy's bra off I lost it or this whole ananas thing in Castiel's route, omg). But I finished it feeling happy. I truly enjoyed spending my time on this game. But, then this whole university thing came out. And the fact, that Lysander, Armin and Kentin won't be with us foe the next season. I spent entire vacation crying (I was a kiddo, ok?) and being mad at everyone. I felt like I got robbed. It was horrible.

"A New Chapter"

I was one of these people who just couldn't accept the change. Not in the world. Never. They stole my Lysander, Kentin and Armin from me and changed AP system to some kind of bullshit. God, I was mad. Really mad. Seeing Castiel was quite nice, but I didn't fill the void of my baby. But, oh, my, God. When I saw Nathaniel I just couldn't believe. I said I was mad? Then I was furious. I really liked the old Nathaniel, he had his own vibe, his backstory, his character and it was just, damn, amazing. But they changed him completely, for what? They wanted the second Castiel? Yeah, they got it. Priya as a love interest was quite a good move, tho. I even though I didn't like her (in highschool or in university) I liked the idea of adding a female interest. But the thing that hurted me, was the fact that Lysander was taking care of the farm. Like, no! He didn't want that. He didn't like the countryside. He had such a potential to become a author and Beemoov didn't let him. God, that broke my heart. Anyway, I didn't spent a single penny on MCLUL, but I have to say - I kinda enjoyed it. You know, it was the guily-pleasure kind of thing. I didn't like it as much as I liked highschool, but there were some good or funny moments. I loved Rayan's kiss scene. I adored Chani. Or Hyun making us watch "Toy Story". Nathaniel's ulgy green hair or all these crazy threesomes. I liked it. Kinda. I hated Nath tho. The ending, hm, it was okay, I guess? I do feel sort of nostalgic thinking about it 'cause I got some nice memories from it, in the end. But yeah, going on.

Love Life

Oh. My. Lord. I was so sceptical about it. Like, I was sure that, at this point they're going to do "My Candy Love Mid-Life Crises" next or some other shit. But in the end, I "kinda" like it. It wasn't good like highschool or fresh like university, but I was nice to see new chapters with our annoying-cringy Candy, that I love (btw, I started playing other otome games and I realized that Candy wasn't that bad). Meeting Eric was nice, even tho, this whole cheating plot really got me ragging. Like, damn, Beemoov, seriously? And if you going this, why not with old LIs? Just kidding. Anyway, I truly enjoyed meeting Dan and Eric, the two of them were quite a characters. I won't forget them, hah. I was happy with single ending, 'cause I think about it as a "open ending" when my Candy can go back to my baby and everything's going to be alright.

Regrets & Complaints

Now, now. Where do I start? AP system was a freaking nightmare. Replacing old Nathaniel with some kind of weird Castiel was a nightmare. Removing Lysander, Nathaniel, Armin and Kentin was a nightmare. Not finishing plots was a nightmare. And why in the whole Love Life I haven't seen Amber once? Why Alexy never mentioned Evan like they're not brothers? Why Castiel doesn't care that I was dating his bestfriend? And why, in the world, after changing the system finding Kiki is so damn easy? Why AP is so expensive? So many questions!

All The Good Times

But, I got to say. I will never forget this bitchy Castiel, cookie-monster Ken following us around. Or cute Nathaniel. Castiel buying Candy some kind of weird McDonald's. Or Lysander's parents exposing him having crush on Candy. Or seeing Kentin kissing Amber (ew). This super akward-funny sex ed lesson. Deborah's arc and losing my shit over it. Or Thomas (this weird child) stalking my Candy and her LI in the park. And Lysander asking us how to hide a body, aaa. Or Armin telling us he loves us. Or Kentin. And Cookie ripping this huge teddybear apart. Or the water fight in Kentin’s spin off. And crushing on Alexy and later on finding out he’s gay. Or spin-the-bottle game and Lysander getting jealous. Or Dake, being a creep for entire game straight. Or guessing what was guy's surnames. And for sure, I will never forget this demonic Kiki dog.

What it worth it?

In the end, yes. Have I ever told you that I want to become a professional writer? Silly dream, I know, but writing is a huge passion of mine, and well, my first story was based off My Candy Love (it is cringy as hell, but I feel kinda nostalgic thinking about it). All these years spending on playing game that I wasn't supposed to be playing was amazing. It was one of the best experiences I had in life and I will never, ever forget that.

What now?

Well, Beemoov is working on a new game and I'm kinda optimistic. I know, it's really naive of me, but I want to believe that they won't f*ck this up, this time. And going back to Sweet Amoris, well, I truly missed this place! And the teachers... And Kiki. I wonder, when it will be released and will Beemoov finally open up about telling us surnames and ages of love interests. Anyway, I want to believe they learnt from their mistakes.

In the end. Thank you, My Candy Love, for creating so many memories. I will be forever grateful. 

(I just re-read this post and it seems like I have really love-hate relationship with this game)

[thevoilinauttheory]

The Great Eight

[ In lieu of the Rising event ending tomorrow - and myself, just now finishing it - I had some words I wanted to get out.

I get this type of nostalgia - it hurts, it physically hurts my chest; I feel sick to my stomach, and I just want to cry. I’ve asked others if they ever feel this way, but I’ve never gotten a yes to it.

The Rising always gives me this feeling. It’s be eight years since I first picked up XIV. Eight whole years. That’s a slap to the face, it’s been so long and it feels so short. I wish I could give people the same experiences and feeling I had for this game - the pain and happiness this nostalgia brings me. When I say this game means so much to me, it’s not an exaggeration. This game changed my life - I wish to share it a little bit with you. I touched on some of it in the past, but here I’m laying it all out. ]

[ I first started playing in 2013, when a friend recommended the game to me shortly after the game’s rerelease. They were ecstatic to have another player join them, and I owe them a lot for the experiences they gave me. My very first character was Raramlah Ramlah - she was a paladin, because that’s what I mained in WoW. I realized shortly that a tank probably wasn’t the best way to go, but also that my computer at the time couldn’t handle playing it, due to the graphics.

I gave it another shot in 2014, that’s when I made Danny Harold. He was the first character I ever got to level 50. I absolutely loved the game, when I wasn’t sitting idly for my friends to come online as I had with Raramlah; when I picked it up of my own accord. I remember I was in the hospital when I first picked it back up, when I first made him and leveled him through Gridania. But I was still going intermittedly between it and WoW. I missed the first Rising due to ignorance.

2015 comes around, and I’m in a stressful place. I just started a new job, and I’m finally able to live on my own with little issues from my disabilites. However, my apartment complex didn’t have internet, and so I’d take my laptop to Starbucks and sit there until they closed playing WoW instead. I wanted to spend what little time I had on the internet with the friends I already had grown close to.  Year 2 went on without me. But it still wasn’t all bad. Near the end of 2015, Maximiloix Voilinaut was created - and when I started up my XIV tumblr account under “ishgardianscholar”. See, I had made it to Heavensward on Danny when I found out that someone I had met through a friend was starting up a new character for the purpose of RP. I thought to myself “I want an Ishgardian character” - and rolled a new one. It was a new adventure, a clean slate, with a couple of friends I knew from WoW to join me.

Here comes 2016... and WoW had let me down. My disabilites came back full force, and I was left bed bound and reliant on partial disability from my workplace while waiting for SSDI to start kicking into effect. My roommates did little to help take care of the house we were renting, lied to me about their incomes, and forced me to use what little money I was getting to pay for everything myself. I’m short a total of 2000$ because of it. But. But. That was the best year of my fucking life. It ruined me, that year ruined my life, but it was the happiest I had ever been. Lothaire Voilinaut was first conceived and Maximiloix became my pride and joy as a character, I found the class I wanted to keep playing - I made friends, so many of them! So, so many of them! And I loved them, and I still do! I miss them terribly. If I could relive one year of my life... it would be that year. What I would give just to feel that way again - because I had never felt it since. I didn’t realize until Year 3′s Rising came around, how nostalgic just the few short times and experiences were to me. Because I was met with two things... the first song that truly captured me in Final Fantasy games (Prelude), and the first song I ever heard in the game itself (A New Hope). I cried there. Music has always hit me so hard, and I never realized just how much this game meant to me until then. This was how I knew I would stay - that XIV had my heart for good.

2017, during the release of Stormblood, I went homeless. I had wanted so badly to see my first expansion release - and only witnessed second hand “Raubahn EX”. My friends moved on without me, and I was left alone again to start playing. But I told myself already. XIV had my heart, there was no reason to go back to WoW. So I didn’t. I didn’t, and I don’t regret it. This is when I truly started playing Lothaire fully - and when I met my spouse, he became my main. I made it to Year 4, and cried just as much.

2018 - with the loss of friends, did I find new ones. It wasn’t the best time of my life, but I wouldn’t trade the memories for a thing. Year 5 came and went faster than I could blink, but that was it. I heard the music, I remembered my first Rising, I remembered all the times I had before. And I cried.

2019 started off rough. I moved across the country and had a hard time finding a place to live. I got it down, started a new job... and made it to the release of Shadowbringers. I had grown so much since I first started - and the expansion release was everything I wanted it to be, regardless of the issues that came with it (though I’ve been told that it was a far smoother release than the others). I was so excited... and I was not let down. XIV upheld its standards and presented to me a game worthy of pushing onto my friends no matter how annoyed they got with me about it (looking at you @rose-color-boy). Everything about it was a pure masterpiece, people think I’m exaggerating. But this game had done so much for me, that finally, now, I got to witness something I always wanted to. Sure, I didn’t have many friends to start the expansion with... but the story captivated me immediately. Year 6... and I cried.

2020. There wasn’t much to say about it, I was stuck inside all year and I hit a bad patch during the end of it, but... Year 7. It hit me like a truck. It gave me goosebumps, it gave me laughs, and ultimately, it gave me tears. I actually sobbed, this time. Remembering everything I gone through hurt me so badly, the nostalgia was coming in hard. But I knew, in the end, this game would always be here for me. This game had wormed its way into my heart accidentally, and yet I feel like I couldn’t live without it.

This year. Perhaps it didn’t hit me as hard - I still cried. This game means so much to me. So, so much. It hurts, it really and physically hurts how much it means to me. This game made everything in my stressful life so much easier, littered the pain with good memories. I can recall bad places I was in, and associate it with something good that happened to me in the game. 2020 - I got knee surgery... but 5.3 had just released and holy shit. My spouse got a little annoyed at me that the only thing I was listening to was the theme of that last battle (To the Edge). It helped me get through it, the pain and the misery I felt from not being able to walk. 2019 - Work was driving my depression in deep, and I didn’t want to live and continue the pain I was feeling... but I got to the end of 5.0 and only wanted more. I wanted to know what happened next. I still remember that one cutscene, how they got me attached to a minor character so quickly and ripped her away just as fast; and the first dungeon? Experiencing the Trust System, and going through this intense battle on a grand scale with the help of the friends they kept on the sidelines for so long. 2018 - My life was monotonous and I had three other people living with me in my one-bedroom apartment. One of my roommate’s ex’s was now stalking him around my apartment, and work was becoming physically taxing on my legs. But I remember how much fun I had doing maps - and the release of the Tsukuyomi fight? That whole scene there? Oh, wow, it was so bittersweet. The fight was beautiful, the music was haunting, everything about it. Not to mention the ending solo-instances and Ghymlit? The Burn? Omega? The Four Lords? As much as I disliked them (due to my computer issues), even Rabanastre was memorable. 2017 - I was homeless, forced to work a job my body couldn’t handle. I met my spouse, though. I became heavily invested with my tumblr account, doing a full re-write of it all. While I wasn’t much of a fan of the expansion itself, there were some places that really opened my eyes. Azim Steppes? So beautiful - and gotta hand Y’shtola the award for sickest burn. Then I heard my favorite piece of music, and the most nostalgic for me when it comes to SB, Skalla’s theme (Far From Home). 

Lastly, I know this has been long. But I thank everyone around me for being so supportive and kind - I may not be in a good place, but know that every good thing that happens will be associated to this moment. I’ll look back on Year 8 and go “my security was compromised, and my anxiety ran high, but there were these people here who supported me on tumblr, that kept my blog running strong”. I will remember my roleplays, I will remember the music and scenery - even now, I’m getting nostalgic about Shadowbringers, and Endwalker hasn’t even come out yet! So thank you. Here’s to year number 8 - 8 whole years of XIV being in my life. It may not have been that long for many of you, some of you, this might be your first year; hell! Some of you, it’s been longer! But know that this community has helped me so much, and I can’t wait to continue being a part of it. Here’s to the eventual tears Year 9 will bring me! ]

[larentsbr]

porque eu não acho que essas músicas são de término, análises.

vou separar por ano e por escritor.

HARRY:

2013 - Midnight Memories

happily:

You don't understand, you don't understand

What you do to me when you hold his hand

We were meant to be but a twist of fate

Made it so you had to walk away

[Você não entende, você não entende

O que faz comigo quando segura a mão dele

Fomos feitos um pro outro, mas uma reviravolta no destino,

Se fez, então tivemos que nos distanciar]

Eu enxergo esse primeiro verso como o sentimento em ver o louis tendo que sair com qualquer mulher e isso parte o coração do harry. Na parte que fala “fomos feito um para o outro, mas alguma coisa no destino aconteceu e tivemos que nos distanciar” e no tal destino mencionado é a gestão falando para se manterem distantes e fingirem que o outro não existe.  

I don't care what people say when we're together

You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep

I just want it to be you and I forever

[ Não me importo com o que as pessoas dizem quando estamos juntos

Você sabe que eu quero ser o único que te abraça enquanto você dorme

Eu quero que seja só você e eu pra sempre]

Eu interpreto como se o harry estivesse pouco se fodendo para o que as pessoas vão falar, se vão continuar sendo preconceituosas e se vão jogar praga.

I wonder if he knows that I touched your skin

And if he feels my traces in your hair

Sorry, love, but I don't really care

[Eu me pergunto se ele sabe que eu toquei sua pele

E se ele sentir meus rastros em seus cabelos

Desculpe amor, mas eu realmente não me importo]

tenho duas interepretações:

1° continua sendo uma boyband, não tem só o harry e essa banda foi montada para ser enxergada como todos da banda sendo héteros. É a única parte da música inteira que contém pronome e nesse caso é masculino, então estaria montando uma narrativa de como se o harry estivesse perguntando para alguma mulher se o atual sabe que ele a tocou.

2° está desafiando alguém que manda eles não ficarem mais juntos. e está se perguntado que, independente de tudo, essa pessoa está ciente de que o harry ainda está com o louis.

something great:

One day you'll come into my world and say it all

You say we'll be together even when you're lost

One day you'll say these words

I thought you'll never say

You say we're better off together in our bed

[Um dia você irá ao mundo e dizer tudo

Você diz que vamos ficar bem mesmo quando estamos perdidos

Um dia você dirá essas palavras

Que eu pensei que você nunca diria

Você diz que somos melhores quando estamos na nossa cama]

Para mim fala explicitamente sobre a vontade de se assumir, que o parceiro diz que o ama e que são melhores quando estão só os dois a sós. Que eles são melhores só dois no sentido de saber que estão protegidos nos braços um do outro, é diferente quando está em quatro paredes com a pessoa que você ama e de quando está no mundão. Mas ele quer se assumir e mal pode esperar por isso.

I want you here with me

Like how I pictured it

So I don't have to keep imagining

[ Eu que você aqui comigo

Como eu imaginei

Então eu não preciso ficar imaginando ]

Claramente ser sobre querer voltar ao que era antes, onde os dois podiam interagir. Mas agora o harry quer não só poder interagir como em 2010-2012, mas também que mostrar o verdadeiro eles e quem eles são.

The script was written and I could not change a thing

I want to rip it all to shreds and start again

[ O roteiro estava escrito e eu não pude mudar nada

Eu quero rasgar em pedaços e começar de novo ]

Eu não vou falar nada sobre essa parte, eu acho que está bem explícita. Em compensação vou deixar um post com vários tweets da Rebecca Ferguson falando sobre a indústria e sobre ter sido forçada a assinar contratos (v, w, x, y, z). Eu sugiro que entre no twitter dela e veja todos os tweets sobre

You're all I want

So much it's hurting

[ Você é tudo que eu quero

tanto que está machucando ]

Único solo do louis na música inteira e é justo nessa parte, onde ele canta que o harry é a pessoa que ele ama tanto que machuca. Eu acho que é ambíguo a parte da dor, eu acho que fala sobre realmente amar demais a pessoa, mas eu acho que fala sobre machucar não poder falar para o público

2017 - harry styles

two ghosts:

Same lips red, same eyes blue

Same white shirt, couple more tattoos

[ Mesmos lábios vermelhos, mesmos olhos azuis

Mesma camiseta branca, algumas tatuagens ]

Eu sinceramente não me apego muito nessa primeira parte porque tem como desmentir e falar que o harry está descrevendo dois fantasmas e por isso que pode ser sobre a Taylor. (Mesmo eu achando que haylor nunca existiu) Mas enfim, quando essa música foi lançada o louis depois de uma semana postou foto todos os dias durante 4 dias só com blusas brancas.

Tastes so sweet, looks so real

Sounds like something that I used to feel

But I can't touch what I see

[ Tem gosto tão doce, parece tão real

Parece com algo que eu costumava sentir

Mas eu não posso tocar o que eu vejo ]

Por que ele não poderia tocar a taylor sendo que ambos já apareceram se abraçando e conversando? Para mim fala sobre relembrar dos momentos de 2010-2012 onde eles tinham mais liberdade.

Tongue-tied like we've never known

Telling those stories we already told

'Cause we don't say what we really mean

[ Língua presa como nunca antes

Contando aquelas histórias que já contamos

Porque não falamos o que realmente queremos ]

Para mim fala sobre precisar mentir mais ainda de que não estão juntos e que não é real, e na verdade eles tem namoradas.

Então para mim, essa música inteira faz referência a dois fantamas (harry e louis), que precisam fingir que não existem, são invisíveis, mas não deixa de machucar lembrar do passado onde não precisavam passar por isso.

meet me in the hallway:

vou copiar e colar uma resposta que a minha amiga @foockinlosah​ deu.

“acredito que mmith fale sobre falta de comunicação no relacionamento, não acredito em qualquer interpretação de término e afins. Acho que essa música fala sobre ser viciado nessa pessoa, viciado no amor dela, viciado em estar com ela, mas não conseguindo ter o suficiente daquilo porque não estão fazendo isso de forma correta e tem que melhorar em algum aspecto. "Give me some morphine" na minha opinião foi um substituto para "Give me more of you", falando isso rápido na música soaria quase como Morphine então eles mudaram para ficar mais sofisticado. Mas usar a palavra Morfina da a entender que a pessoa preciso daquilo pra parar de sentir dor, então isso também é algo a se notar. Não acho que "Meet me in the halway" signifique literlamete Me encontre no corredor, sei que muitos usam isso pra dizer que a música é sobre a época da banda quando eles ficam em hotéis e afins, mas na minha opinião, Hallway aqui teria o mesmo sentido que "halfway", que significa "meio do caminho". "Me encontre no meio do caminho", da uma impressão de se encontrar poucas vezes e sempre quando estão ocupados e acabam nem conversando direito. Nessa música em específico não tem referência nenhuma a falta de comunicação, mas o álbum todo tem, então incluindo mmith no tema central do álbum acho que podemos entender que eles estavam com esse problema na relação e o H se sentia perdido, fraco, deixado de lado sem o Louis e ele passa a música inteira dizendo que precisa mais dele e que eles precisam melhorar.”

2° post (está em inglês)

from the dining table:

a minha interpretação é sobre não ser autobiográfica. Para mim é conversa em uma mesa de jantar, onde os amigos contam como foi o processo para tentar superar um namoro.

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool

[ Acordei sozinhx nesse quarto de hotel

Brinquei comigo mesmo, onde você estava?

Voltei a dormir, fiquei bêbadx ao meio dia

Nunca me senti menos descoladx ]

1° parágrafo alguém da mesa

e assim com o restante da música

LOUIS

2015 - Made in the A.M

love you goodbye:

Se você olhar a letra, ela não diz especificamente sobre fazer sexo antes de terminar o namoro de vez. Eu acho que foi a narrativa que criaram com o fim de elounor. E eu não acho que é sobre término larry também; até porque quando os meninos cantaram essa música no Good Morning America, a entrevistadora perguntou sobre o que era e o louis respondeu sobre ficar com a pessoa uma última vez antes de terminar e o harry fez uma piada “isso é um programa que passa pela manhã,certo hahah”. Eu não acho que ele iria fazer uma piada com o ex sobre uma música que fala sobre o término deles. Nós sabemos que o harry não tem problema em demonstrar o drama sobre o relacionamento em público.

ps: aqui um post traduzido deles trazendo o drama a público: Louis e Harry entre 17 e 21 de julho de 2015

Para mim realmente soa como uma reação à decisão do grupo de entrar no hiato e estarem passando pela fase de negação/aceitação e também pode ser sobre a saída do zayn, eu acho que encaixa também.

It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end

It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah

[É inevitável que tudo que é bom chega ao fim

É impossível saber se depois disso nós ainda seremos amigos]

A banda chegando ao fim, cada um seguindo a sua vida com carreira solo, não vão mais se ver 24 horas por dia. É tudo uma grande incógnita.

Unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands

Unexplainable the love that only we could understand, yeah

[ Inesquecíveis juntos seguramos o mundo inteiro em nossas mãos

Inexplicável o amor que só nós podemos entender]

23/07/2020 a one direction completou 10 anos e sites saíram do ar, rádios tiveram problemas com tanta gente querendo escutar as músicas, charts dos álbuns subiram muito. Óbvio que são inesquecíveis.

2020 - Walls

too young:

O louis ainda fez o track by track falando que é sobre conhecer o amor aos 18 anos e reforçou bastante essa parte.

We were too young to know we had everything

Too young, I wish I could've seen it all along

[ Nós eramos muito jovens para saber que tínhamos tudo

Muito jovens, eu gostaria de ter visto tudo isso antes ]

Essa parte eu enxergo o louis relembrando da época de 2010-2012, onde eles tinham muito mais liberdade para demonstrar o carinho e o amor que eles sentiam um pelo outro. Então eles tinham tudo: música crescendo cada vez mais, o amor deles, eles podendo interagir em público.

I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no, oh

We were too young

[ Me desculpa se eu te machuquei, não, oh

Nós éramos muito jovens ]

Mas então tudo veio por água baixo e começaram os stunts/beards mais intensamente e isso machucou muito ambos. E o louis deve sentir que é o culpado porque é ele que mentia/mente que não é real, ele fingia/finge que estava feliz ao lado de uma beard.

I’ve been looking back a lot lately

Me and you is all I've ever known

It’s hard to think you could ever hate me

But everything's feeling different now

[ Eu tenho olhado bastante o passado recentemente

Você e eu é tudo que eu conheço

É difícil pensar que você poderia me odiar 

Mas tudo é diferente agora ]

o louis não está falando que o harry o odeia, mas que odeia a possibilidade de um dia isso acontecer. Eles passaram/passam por tantos altos e baixo e nunca se odiaram, o amor continuou e agora as coisas estão diferentes. Talvez o louis esteja falando do futuro e que eles já estão planejando como vai ser.

Oh, I can't believe I gave in to the pressure

When they said a love like this would never last

So I cut you off 'cause I didn't know no better

Now I realise, yeah, I realise

[ Oh, eu não acredito que eu cedi a pressão

Quando eles dizem que um amor como esse nunca duraria

Então eu te afastei porque eu não sabia melhor

E agora eu percebo, sim, agora eu percebo ]

A pressão eu interpreto como baixar a cabeça e aceitar de um certo modo. não precisa ser um término, é só  um momento que cansou de lutar e escutar as pessoas dizerem que um relacionamento LGBTQIA+ não iria durar. Quem diz isso a um relacionamento hétero? E a parte de se afastar, não precisa ser literal, pode ser simplesmente interromper, ignorar o assunto. Aí entra a pressão novamente, que deve ser um peso no relacionamento ter que aturar as dificuldades e principalmente por estar de cabeça cheia, resolveu deixar de lado. E aí vem o próximo verso.

Face-to-face at the kitchen table

This is everything I've waited for

Now we can finally have a conversation

That I wish we could’ve had before

[ Cara a cara na mesa na cozinha

Isso é o que eu fiquei esperando

Finalmente podemos ter a conversa

Que eu desejava ter tido antes ]

O assunto ignorado do verso acima está falando sobre isso. Ele finalmente se permitiu e começou a pensar sobre o assunto e se abrir.

It's been two years since I’ve seen your face

[ Fazem dois anos desde que eu vi o seu rosto ]

Stunt line, assim como meetatyourunicheapdrinks. 

A original que o louis vazou uma parte era “Oh my I remember those times, being you cheap drinks...” - vídeo que o louis vazou 

post explicando stunt line

habit:

eu acho que habit se conecta de algum jeito com too young.

eu também concordo com uma coisa que a minha amiga disse sobre o louis falar no track by track que essa música é sobre o trabalho. 

palavras dela: “fala sobre o trabalho no sentido de que foi escrito com uma época já em mente, e talvez nessa época as coisas no trabalho não estivessem ido tão bem e isso refletia e suas atitudes/escolhas e assim saiu Habit”

I always said that I'd mess up eventually

I told you that, so what did you expect from me?

It shouldn't come as no surprise anymore

I know you said that you'd give me another chance

But you and I knew the truth of it in advance

That mentally you were already out the door

[  Eu sempre disse que acabaria ferrando com tudo

Eu te avisei, então o que você esperava de mim?

Não devia ser uma surpresa

Eu sei que você disse que me daria outra chance

Mas você e eu sabíamos a verdade sobre isso antes

Mentalmente, você já estava do lado de fora ]

Never thought that giving up would be so hard

But God, I'm missing you and your addictive hear

[ Nunca pensei que desistir seria tão difícil

Mas, Deus, estou sentindo sua falta e de seu coração viciante ]

Nesses dois versos de habit eu enxergo a conexão com too young e no verso sobre ceder a pressão. E juntamente com essa parte que eu também acho que conecta o trabalho na parte que ouviu tantas pessoas querendo se meter na vida dele; ou ele estava infeliz de como se sentia em relação as músicas e isso influenciou o relacionamento de alguma maneira. E a parte da saudade é porque ele está falando de um hábito, quase como se fosse um vício, então sentia saudades de estar aberto novamente com o relacionamento e não estar tão preocupado com tudo. Eu acho que é quando ele percebe suas ações e como ele está agindo com o amado.

I took some time 'cause I’ve ran out of energy

Of playing someone I’ve heard I’m supposed to be

But honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

And it's been ages, different stages

Come so far from Princess Park

I'll always need ya

In front of me, in front of me

[  Eu demorei um pouco porque fiquei sem energia

De tanto interpretar alguém que disseram que eu deveria ser

Mas, sinceramente, não preciso mais escolher

E faz anos, palcos diferentes

Viemos de tão longe desde Princess Park

Eu sempre vou precisar de você

Na minha frente, na minha frente ]

O louis fala sobre estar cansado de interpretar um personagem, escondendo o seu verdadeiro “eu”. Para mim faz referência em estar no armário e ainda se conecta com o clipe de walls onde ele está sozinho em volta de casais héteros e com defenceless:

Been up all night

All night running all my lines

[ Fiquei acordado a noite toda

Noite toda lendo as minhas falas ] 

line em inglês pode tanto significar linha quanto fala. Por exemplo uma atriz fala “I forgot my line”, ela está se referindo a fala que era para ter dito na cena.

Agora voltando para a análise, o louis está cansado de interpretar alguém que não é. Ele sabe qual dos “personagens” ele vai escolher, que é ser ele mesmo juntamente com o amor da vida dele que morou em Princess Park. 

E agora eu vou ser grossa, mas me poupe quem falar que o louis colocou a referência ao complexo só porque foi onde toda a banda morou. 

1° lugar: sim, todos moraram nesse complexo, mas as únicas duas pessoas que moraram juntas foram o harry e o louis

2° lugar: o louis não é idiota. ele sabia que colocando essa parte na música todo mundo iria teorizar, assim como ele tinha certeza ao fazer o cover de 7 do Catfish and Bottlemen.

You give me the time and the space

I was out of control

And I'm sorry I let you down

I guess that I know what I already knew

I was better with you

And I miss you now

[  Você me deu tempo e espaço

Eu estava fora de controle

Me desculpe por te decepcionar

Eu acho que sei o que eu já sabia

Eu estava melhor com você

E sinto sua falta agora ] 

Esse verso eu também enxergo com too young e com os dois primeiros versos que eu comentei sobre o louis estar sobrecarregado e com isso se afastou, se fechou, não permitindo que o hábito dele (amor dele) o ajudasse a passar sobre esse momento perturbado da vida dele. E a parte de decepcionar na verdade pode ser quebrar as expectativas. 

always you:

eu não vou analisar a letra em si, vou falar só um geral.

eu não acho que essa música é de término e nem sobre voltar de um término, por exemplo reconciliar. Para mim, essa música é bem estilo Canyon Moon, então ele está falando que está com saudade de estar em casa com o amor dele ao invés de estar com uma beard na Holanda.

E no primeiro verso eu não acho que é um diálogo como as pessoas acham que é, até porque essa música foi escrita em 2017 e o harry foi escrever fine line no Japão em 2018. E pelo o que eu vi uma vez, na rua com só bares gays que o louis foi fotogrado, tinha um bar chamado Duke of Tokyo e talvez por isso que "Fui a Tóquio para esquecer, bebida atrás de bebida".

Mas agora indo para o contexto:

Louis fez esses tweets falando que estava irritado com a indústria.

Depois disso ele soltou uma parte de always you justo na parte falando "I went to Amsterdam without you". Alguns minutos depois, ele resolve aparecer novamente no twitter perguntar se já tínhamos desvendado da letra.

E falou que tinha ido à Amsterdã no mês anterior.

E ele foi em julho de 2017 com a Eleanor e o Oli comemorar o aniversário dela.

Mas, alguns minutos depois ele fez outro tweet falando que tinha escrito a música há 6 meses, o que nos leva para fevereiro/março e isso foi antes da viagem.

always you

Provavelmente ele tinha planejado essa viagem meses antes, já que ele é provavelmente uma pessoa ocupada e estava com 2 singles nos tops das listas, então tinha entrevista para fazer, shows etc. Além de que, eu acho que essa viagem foi planejada antes também para mostrar que elounor estava firme e forme e que eles se amam incondicionalmente. E por isso que 2017 foi um ano cheio de pap pic para os dois, exatamente para deixar falado que o antigo casal voltou. Mas você também pode acreditar que ele só falou isso porque pediram para desviar a ideia das pessoas e para não fazerem teorias.

Outras pessoas também podem falar "ah mas ele foi a Amsterdã sem a Eleanor antes." Ok, ele pode ter ido, mas porque ele precisaria/faria questão em vazar uma música para poder ser colocada no álbum se é para um casal assumido e público? Por que em específico Amsterdã e não qualquer outro lugar que ela não foi com ele depois que terminaram? Ainda por cima fazer outro tweet falando que tinha ido a capital da Holanda no mês anterior?

Ele queria essa música de todos os jeitos no álbum e não queria que ninguém impedisse essa música estar em Walls.

"Always in my heart @Harry_Styles. Your sincerely, Louis"

Como também, a parte de Amsterdã e Tóquio pode ser uma referência aos dois países que os dois mais gostam e tem muitas memórias, e por conta disso escolheu como forma de simbolizar os dois.

Foi isso. Essas são as minhas análises, que contém o meu ponto de vista e no que eu acredito. Vocês podem acreditar no que quiserem e se tiverem outras análises e quiserem compartilhar, fiquem à vontade :)

[fieldsofbone]

i wrote a more intimate variant of this in my journal but for almost my entire adult life i’ve resisted saying i have depression because i’ve never been so bad that i can’t get out of bed or brush my teeth or do a lot of the things that become so difficult when you’re severely depressed but it’s like. there are entire periods of my life that are demarcated solely by how sad i’ve been. my memories of the entire summer of 2015 predominately revolve around me being so profoundly and achingly sad and lonely that i was wracked with sobs every night and the winter of 2017 i neglected my friendships and couldn’t even make it to class most days. what did i think that was???

and even outside of those more extreme/severe instances, there are so many nights (like tonight) where i just feel a chasm of loneliness and misery rip open in my chest for no reason, and i try to self-soothe and rationalize it by saying i’m tired or hormonal or whatever the fuck is convenient that day but it’s like… plenty of people are tired all the time and aren’t overcome with a dread and sadness that they can’t shake! that’s not normal, bestie!

anyway this is long and nobody asked but i’m just having a lot of thoughts. i’m gonna try to sleep this off snd then, in the words of billie eilish, “i’m going […] to therapy”

[ash-etherwood]

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

[2015habsroster]

stole this from @couturriere who left tagging open, cause im sick in bed today and super bored

1. why did you choose your url?

pretty obvious i think, but the 2014-15 habs have such a special place in my heart and they were my team when i started getting into hockey more seriously and getting to know players better (also i miss pk subban & patches & the gallys together & when all the veteran players i grew up loving were still on the team)

2. any side blogs?

this is technically a side blog even tho its not a real side blog my main is here if anyone is curious lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since 2012, and 2015 for this blog specifically

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope never used the queue lol

5. why did you start your blog?

ive always been a hockey fan and in 2015 i found out abt hockey tumblr and loved that it was a thing, so i decided to make a side blog

6. why did you choose your pfp?

i was drawing that picture and just liked it idk?? ill probably find a new one soon

7. why did you choose your header?

its the same one i had back in like 2017 when i was last active on here. i went to a canadiennes game and was rlly excited abt it (rip the cwhl), so i just kept it for the memories idk

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

probably one of my drawings??

9. how many mutuals do you have?

not sure?? lots of new ones tho hi <3

10. how many followers do you have?

674 but like im sure most of them are inactive at this point

11. how many people do you follow?

1398 which is crazy i dont eve follow that many ppl on main but i have to unfollow a bunch cause most are inactive at this point

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uhh probably??? who hasnt

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

lol lets just say its my most used app

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

dear god no, i hate tumblr drama

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

makes me not wanna reblog it no matter how good the original point was, i hate guilt trips and i dont want to spread them to other people

16. do you like tag games?

yes i love talking about myself

17. do you like ask games?

also yes, love attention

18. which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

idk abt here but i definitely have some tumblr famous mutuals on main which is funny cause im a three notes post kinda gal

if anyone wants to do this, im tagging u & tag me so i can see ur answers, i love reading these!!

[eunicegorgonia]

About Jonah Mae Panen Pacala

Fiction is a literature created by the imagination of an author. It is the imaginary world and a way of the author to escape the reality. Teenagers like me love to read romance stories where we can find our ideal man that we want to have in the future that we can call our “forever”. One of the best authors I know is Jonah Mae Panen Pacala, also known as Jonaxx. She is one of the best authors I know in wattpad community. She already published her books under Summit and self-published some of it.

Jonah Mae Panen Pacala A.K.A Jonaxx, is a well-known author who published and self-published a lot of books. She was born on January 23, 1991 and is a pre-school teacher based in Cagayan de Oro City. She was 12 years old when she started writing at Creative Corner way back 2003. She wrote Shakespeare in Love at the age of 12. JSL or jonaxxstories lovers is the name of her fandom that has thousands ang millions of members. She is also known as most followed author in wattpad community and has the biggest fanbase. She wrote the stories titled Shakespeare in Love, Princess in Disguise, Loving in Darkness, How to Produce a Prince, Downfall Chronicles, 24 Signs of Summer with a book two titled Remembering Summer, Just That, Nung narealize mo na, Training to Love, Why do you hate me, Baka Sakali Trilogy, Mapapansin Kaya, End this War, Heartless, Worthless, Scorching of Love a Costa Leona Series book 1, Waves of Memories a Cost Leona book 2, Island of Fire a Costa Leona book 3, Blown by the Wind a Costa Leona book 4, What lies beneath the sand a Costa Leona book 5, Sands of Time a Costa Leona book 6, Ruling the Wild Waves a Costa Leona book 7, Sunburned Heat a Costa Leona book 8, Whispers of the Wind a Costa Leona book 9, Love in the Dark a Costa Leona book 10, Kissing the Dust a Costa Leona book 11, Sweet Flames of Vengeance a Costa Leona book 12, After the Chains a Costa Leona book 13, The Sun’s Heartbeat a Costa Leona book 14, Hushed Thunder a After Last Series, Whipped a Alegria Girls Series book 1, Ripped a Alegria Girls Series book 2, Tripped a Alegria Girls Series book 3, Against the Heart a Azucacera Series book 1, Getting to You a Azucacera Series book 2, Hold me Close a Azucacera Series book 3, Every Beast needs a Beauty a Good Lips Series book 1, One Night, One Lie a Good Lips Series book 2, Give in To You a Good Lips Series book 3, Invisible Man a Jimenez Cousins Series book 1, No Perfect Prince a Jimenez Cousins Series book 2, Chase and Hearts a Jimenez Cousins book 3, Until Trilogy a Montefalco Series book 1, To Stay a Montefalco Series book 2, To Fall Again a Montefalco Series book 3, and Shelter in Your Fingertips a Rara Avis Series and a on-going story. Some of her stories are published under a publishing company but some of her stories are her self-published. She also loves watching movies and some of her favorites are Divergent, Harry Potter, and all movies with medievalist setting. She also the first wattpad author that held his/her book signing in Arena. The first book that she published on her own was 24 Signs of Summer and the first book published by a publishing company was Mapapansin Kaya. She already published 12 books under the publishing company named Summit. In 2015, she won as the Filipino Readers’ Choice Award for her story Heartless and got featured in YES Magazine in 2017 August issue.           Despite of her popularity and gained 45 million of votes in wattpad she still stayed humble and appreciable especially for her supporters. She made an app solely for her stories so that her supporters will not have a hard looking for her stories in wattpad. That is why her supporters loved her even more. Her story is very admirable that despite of a lot of achievements, being the bestselling author and many more she still have her foot on the ground and never lift it up because she knows that where she is right now is nothing without the support of her fandom and fans. She plays as a role models to those aspiring young authors to continue dreaming and striving to achieve all the things we desire. That challenges in life is not a hindrance for us to achieve our goals but a way for us to appreciate hard work and effort. That dreams and goals are not meant to be said and wished but it is also meant to work hard for to achieve all those dreams and goals. 

[samgiddings]

5 Years Later...

It’s weird how five years can feel like no time at all while also feeling like a lifetime. When I see the words five years, it’s like “yeah, that’s not that long”, but then I think of where I was in life five years ago, and I realize how much time has actually passed. When the game came out, I was younger than all of the kids, flash forward to now, and I’m older than all of them.

August 25th, 2015, the day that Until Dawn was released. I got into it probably a week or so later. Wasn’t active in the tumblr fandom at the time, but I became an Ashley RPer for a few months on Instagram which was a really fun experience! 

October 31st, 2015, literally just adding this one because this is the day that MICHAEL.....MOOOOOOD LIGHTING was recorded.......iconic.

October 13th, 2016, the day Rush of Blood came out. The kids finally got last names, and I created a new tumblr (RIP my abandoned one) to nab this URL. Sam wasn’t my favourite at the time, but I was just stoked to have a canon URL LOL. Initially I wasn’t planning on using this to talk to people, but then people began reaching out to me and I started making friends here, something I’ll always be so grateful for. 

February 4th, 2017. UMMMMM this is the day Galadriel Stineman followed my art instagram and honestly I can’t believe she still follows it with all the Total Drama I posted BUT this is something that genuinely keeps me going on bad days sometimes so I’m putting it here.

November 19th, 2017. The day signups for the 2017 Until Dawn Secret Santa went up. This was SO MUCH FUN to run, and I met multiple people while running this that became some of my closest friends here. It was so cool to see so much new art in the fandom, and while the exchanges lost their magic after the first few, they were definitely fun while they lasted! I hope people are able to still look back on them fondly.

February 7th, 2018, I joined Until Dawn Hell. This literally changed my life, I don’t know how else to put it. I’ve grown so close to so many people from the fandom because of this server. It’s so fun to have this little community, and like, with the way everyone hypes each other up, I genuinely feel like I’m more confident now. 

These are just some small things that have happened along the way, but I really didn’t know how else to capture everything I was thinking about. There are so many more memories that came from this game that are more personal and that I’ll always hold dear to my heart. I guess I want to say “thank you” to everyone who has supported this blog, and for those of you that have stuck around for so long.

I still remember getting a text nearly 5 years ago that said “Hey! have you heard of Until Dawn?” Never thought I’d be here after all this time, but here I am. 

[justanalto]

author tag!

I was author tagged by both @tomatobookworm and @aleksandrachaev (thanks, both of you! <3) to do some author’s tag, hehe

name: serena or re, depending

fandom(s): actively, I write for agents of SHIELD, but I’ve got a fair toe somewhere in the grey’s fandom, 911, bones and the MCU as a whole :)

where you post: Ao3 currently -- I used to be on FFN but made the switch somewhere during 2017 (which I have been told was mean of me a few times :P)

most popular oneshot: burnt turkey and cranberry sauce massacres, which is an avengers team!fic I wrote sometime in 2015 and transported to Ao3 sometime in 2018, LOL. somehow it still made a ton of traction, which I am...very confused about. 

most popular multichapter fic: *laughs in singular multichapter fic* may’s golden dragon, which I’m pretty sure is only because it’s a 3-year-old fic that keeps resurfacing every now and again for new people to hop on, LOL. may has bobbi and skye as her adopted daughters and at a chinese restaurant, where phil gets sent to review it -- chaos ensues. 

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh god how do I CHOOSE?? putting may’s golden dragon aside, because that one’s just always a fun time, I’d probably have to say either now i’m freefallin’ or twelve pumps of mocha and a double chocolate bagel (which I need to put back up, smh) because they were just so entertaining to do. both of them were in some way also based off of an experience of mine, which also made me laugh because I got to relive them, LOL! 

fic you were nervous to post: i don’t really get nervous posting things, I don’t think, because I’m just very gung-ho about it -- if it tracks, it tracks, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t -- but it was something I still wanted to read and there was at least one person who wanted to read it. I think if anything, it was probably (of recent memory) beautiful stranger, there you are because it was written as a gift for such a fantastic author! 

how do you choose your titles: like, 80% of the time, it’s song titles -- lyrics and snippets I pick from my head because I listen to so much music -- but sometimes I’ll just pluck something pithy from the air? wheel of fortune (but much better than tv) was one of the things I plucked from air, for example, but i would ruin myself (a million little times) was straight up from when I was living on folklore’s release, LOL. 

do you outline?: sometimes?  sometimes I’ll get really into writing an outline and end up putting down all of the plot points and small details to a story (which come in very handy when I have to bribe someone), or when it’s may’s and I have to plan several chapters in advance so i don’t take another year’s haitus (rip), but most of the time it’s just quotes jotted down in a notebook or me yelling over the phone to someone. I did just get a white board, though, so we’ll see how that pans out. 

complete ao3

in progress:

may’s golden dragon: T, philinda, fitzsimmons, skye/oc, mackelena and soon-to-be-huntingbird, melinda may runs a chinese restaurant and phil coulson is sent to review it; shenanigans ensue. I attempt to update wednesdays, sometimes. 

coming soon/not yet started:

the dekesy fic known vernacularly as renaissance reconnaissance that i somehow was inspired to write because of kat (how did we get here @aleksandrachaev), in which deke and daisy go undercover at a ren faire

if you prompted me back in like, august...I have a couple of those still left in my inbox and I am so sorry 

a 5+1 times revolving around bobbi and hunter’s return to SHIELD and their attempt at trying out different areas of the new organization 

do you accept prompts?: I do! but sometimes they take a while to get to because my brain doesn’t like me very much (hence, if you prompted me in august, I have those still in my inbox and I’m going to get to them eventually, I’m so sorry!), but I’m always down for a good song-rec-songfic! 

upcoming works you’re most excited about: May’s chapters, always. (especially chapter 38, hehehe.) And the casually-named renaissance reconnaissance, mainly because I’m ready to write the chaos that is Deke Shaw trying to shove a whole turkey leg into his mouth. 

tagging: @libbyweasley @unrequited-ship @agentmmayy @florchis @apathbacktoyou and anyone else that wants to do this! (it’s been a week since I was tagged in this so idk who’s done it yet -- if you got tagged already, I’m so sorry!)