#this is just angst honestly

[mobius-m-mobius]

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever.

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.

You know what I do want?

I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy

I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good

I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.

I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.

[gotham-daydreams]

Not Tonight

[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Reader generally not having a good time.]

(Not proofread. Not too much Yandere shown. Mostly angst with Reader. Set up(?))

2nd chapter here. Chapter 3 Pt. 1, Pt. 2. [Series Masterlist]

๑۩۞۩๑————————————————————๑۩۞۩๑

How many times have you heard them say that? How many times have you tried to do something with them, to share your passion — or even just have some coffee with them, only to hear them say that phrase time and time again.

"Not tonight."

Well, what if you didn't ask them during the night? What if you asked them in the afternoon, or just when they were already up and about?

"Sorry! I can't right now, patrol reeeally kicked my ass last night. Besides, I have some other things that I have to get done, but maybe next time! For sure!"

Okay, right. That makes sense. Sometimes their line of work can be tough and draining, especially when someone is trying to run Gotham to the ground that night. So what if you just try to ask them when they aren't so busy? It may really limit the times you can ask... but you'd still try. Maybe it could also help if you asked for smaller things, like if they'd just like to spend a little time with you before going out again, or if you could just hang around them for a while? Nothing big, and anything was fine. Even if it was just sitting next to them, and having some small talk. Or maybe just the sitting part if talking was too much.

You'd take anything at all.

"I'm actually heading out right now, so I can't stick around. Go ask someone else."

"Can't you see that I already have enough compang with Titus here? Go bother Drake or something, I don't care."

All you could hear was snores past the door when you went to ask. So you moved onto someone else, hoping for a yes as your heart began to squeeze.

Someone had to agree eventually, right?

You begged the Gods as you traveled down the long halls. The chills of reality creeping up on you.

"Sorry, I'm going out to hang with some friends, but maybe next time!"

"..." She just looked at you before shaking her head, and taking her leave.

"I've got something to do at the moment, sorry, but hey, maybe you could ask your old man? Oh! Or maybe Alfred. That's a good idea."

Dick was out in Bludhaven, and you didn't want to bother Barbara considering how bisy she must've been the other night. So, you had no other choice. You asked, heart bleeding from how hard it squeezed.

"Not now."

Simple, to the point, and sharp.

Bruce's words were as cold as ever, and yet the echo in the cave only seemed to make the gap between you and him feel so much bigger. Even as you just nodded, eyes pointed to the floor. Taking your leave with a soft sigh that barely escaped you.

The elevator ride was longer than you remembered. The cold chill in the air grew freezing even as you stepped out, and now stood in one of the many halls in the Wayne Manor. Portraits and pictures decorated the walls, their painted and photographed eyes staring at you. Their gaze far from soft, but at least it was present. At least they, in that way, felt present.

You swore the only times they ever smiled at you that wasn't faked, or just for the sake of appearances was in those paintings and photos. Honestly, it was also probably the most times they've even looked at you too, and as sad as it is — you did say you'd take anything, right?

A 'no' or 'maybe' was part of that anything, technically. It's just not what you were hoping for.

Sighing again, you stared up at one of the portraits, eyes shinging under the lights as everything you refused to say made itself so clear for a moment. You didn't want much, and never asked for more than what you were given. You didn't think so anyway.

You always followed the rules, you did more than just excel in all your classes no matter how hard it was for you to understand certain things, and you even tried to get into things your family seemed to enjoy without pushing too hard.

You studied up on all the pets Damian had so that you could not only care for them properly, but maybe even take care of them with him some day. You played games and read reviews on games you saw Tim play just for a chance that maybe you'd get the opportunity to play with him. You picked up boxing and have even been practicing your aim with an airsoft gun, and have also been going to certain place when you could to practice using real guns and learn about them just so you'd maybe be able to have a conversation with Jason, and even connect with him in some way. You even read nearly all the books in the library just to have a sliver of hope for something, anything.

You learned sign language in three different languages and tried to find out what Cassandra was interested in, just to have some kind of interaction with her. Even writing on small note cards in serval other languages in hopes she'd give some kind of response, even if you forgot to put your initials and such more than several times. You participated in gymnastics in hopes of getting closer to Dick. You tried to find out what Barbra was into so you could also hold up a conversation with her if given the chance. You've tried to match Stephen's energy and do things she likes and have even taken up material arts as a means to maybe be a little closer with everyone!

Yet it never seems like enough.

Your schedule was so packed and filled with activities and extra lessons of all kinds, just so that you could feel like you had something in common with someone in this family. So that, when given the chance, you'd be able to form a connection with one of them and your efforts and sacrifices wouldn't be in vain. Though that still had yet to happen.

You weren't even a vigilante as you tried to persue your own passion and dreams, and yet that one single thing seemed to be keeping you away from everyone else. The one thing you were unwilling to do for them just seemed to make the gap between you and the rest of the family grow bigger. They're constant and continuous dismissals only seemed to further that point.

Just... what were you doing wrong? Was you not being a vigilante and constantly putting yourself at risk every night really putting that much of a dent in your relationships? Did your dreams really get in the way of that? Just because you didn't want to put yourself in danger? Just because you wanted to pursue music instead?

You took up art despite not being super interested in it before. You've been reading all of your life. Your stretched, ran, exercised, cooked, cleaned, organized, sang, wrote, danced, and even sculpted. You picked up almost any hobby someone could have under the sun, even if it began to feel like a chore and a job to you, just so that you could have something, anything in common with this family.

Though now you've gone through countless 'hobbies', and dropped many more since nothing seemed to be working, it... it still didn't feel like enough. Like you had to be doing something more despite having lost countless hours of sleep, just to go through the list of hobbies you had written down that you had left to try. You even took up some sports you were somewhat interested in, and yet nothing clicked.

Though is that really surprising when no one noticed how many times you snuck out for lessons and practice, or how long you were out? When you'd even forget to return to the Manor sometimes, and anyone still had yet to notice you were even gone in the first place?

... You couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped you. It was broken in every way, and yet empty all the same. Maybe you were finally taking after Bruce, but you wouldn't get your hopes up.

You looked up at the painting as if it'd give you all the answers, and yet dismiss you at the same time. The disappointment you felt was normal to you at this point, but the aching pain that came after was always the hardest part. Yet you still stared at the painted faces as if they were your real family, and the people close to them. Looked at the calculated and skilled brush strokes as if they'd give you what your family couldn't. What they refused to give you at every twist and turn, no matter how much you tried to accommodate to them. To do things for them. To just feel worthy enough to stand by their side. To be closer to them.

Though in the end, it is only that. A painting. A well crafted piece that, no matter how skilled the artist, could never truly capture how distant and vague they felt when you were the one standing to the side. No matter how much experience the painter had, they'd never be able to express and show how this poor excuse of a family felt to you, because they were only like that around you.

Maybe you'd feel special if it didn't make you feel like you were wasting your life living like this...

Eventually, you were able to tear you eyes away from the painting. The moon beginning to rise as you were sure the Manor was becoming more empty than it usually was, as more of its visitors and residents left.

The painting itself was nice even if it was one of many that didn't include you, with the number of photographs without you in them being much higher. Honestly, it used to be one of your favorites despite how bittersweet you feel about it now.

You still remember that day, but that would be implying that you forgot the others.

Regardless, you managed to pull yourself away from the spot you had been stuck in for the few moments you were trapped inside your own head. You tried to make yourself feel a little better, and give yourself some reassurance that maybe tomorrow would be different some how, and if not? Perhaps the day after, and the day after that.

Yet it all failed as you passed by more and more memories. Some were events you had participated in, sure, but the pictures made it look like you were never there in the first place. Heartwarming moments littered the halls, but you only recall seeing them from a distance — or being aware that the moment had even happened only when you saw the picture be put up.

It was like the very universe was trying to send you a sign with your constant failures and your family's persistence, intentional or not, to keep you at a distance. You didn't even know if it was appropriate to refer to them as your 'family', and maybe it wasn't considering things, but you still weren't sure.

You had been fighting for a chance to talk with any of them about anything at all for the longest time, because you wanted to be a part of this family. You wanted to spend time with them and really give this 'new life' of yours a chance, but now that 'new' part of this life had worn off. It was hard and honestly more draining than it was rewarding at this point, but you still wanted to give it a try.

Sure, it had been years at this point and now you were just about to go into college, and when you had first arrived here you weren't even middle school, yet little to no progress had been made — you never gave up. You haven't given up. So maybe you could try for a little longer? Just... a little bit, not too much this time, and figure something out?

You almost felt a little sense of hope return to you, no matter how redundant and helpless this situation felt and seemed. Yet it all came crumbling down again when you passed by one of the rooms, and saw something taped to the door.

It was a flier for your performance. One that would be happening soon.

Since your siblings began to pay less and less attention to you as time went on, with your conversations with them growing even shorter, you opted to just tape fliers of your upcoming performances on their doors. Though only the performances you'd thought they'd enjoy, and just hoped that they would show up, if they wanted to, when you stepped onto that stage and approached the instrument you'd be playing for the evening.

You tried texting and other forms of communication at first, but those quickly stopped working and so you just opted for this, and of course it was just as effective as the others.

Alfred was really the only one who listened to your music when you performed, and you only knew that because you caught him playing one of the live performances you had done on the television one day. He not only going out of his way to record the performance, but also trying to find the channel it was broadcasted on.

Ever since you've tried to give him the correct channel number when you do live performances, but that still didn't feel like enough. You loved and appreciated Alfred from the depths of your heart and soul, but what would it take for one of your siblings or close family friends to notice you like that? What would it take for your supposed father to even care to listen to your music? To watch a performance? To not turn you away?

It was only in that moment did a new emotion fuel you. Crawling it's way up your spine as you carefully took the flier in your hands, looking it over before ripping it off the door.

This. This one small thing was all you wanted from them. Over everything else, you just wanted to see one of their faces, one time when you looked out to the crowd when you performed — but every single time, all you saw were strangers.

Every charity event, every gala, every party- that's all you were surrounded by, strangers. Even when you caught small glimpses of them, they were always doing something else, and completely off in a totally different world than your own. That distance along creating a large void-like gap between you and them, and yet it only ever continued to grow. Even when they stood next to you, it was like you couldn't be further apart.

The reality of everything was crushing. Near deadly as you could feel your chest and lungs tighten, with your fingers digging into the paper enough to tear it apart, and reaching your palms as they formed crescent moons, soon drawing blood. Yet nothing could compare to the weight of your heart, and how heavy it felt to carry in your chest.

As you finally moved on from the door, your mind raced. Memories and flashbacks filling your head as every word and notion flashed before your eyes. Barely even paying attention to where you were going, but not caring enough to pay attention.

Every dismissal and excuse thrown your way. Every head shake and blank look. Every confused look, and realization that you were standing there the entire time. Every birthday that passed with the same wish never being granted. Every celebration spent on your own. Every message left on read. Every note ignored. Every time you were forgotten. Every time you were left behind. Every time you brought yourself home, and every time they never noticed. Every night wasted, trying to come up with different things to do only for all of them to turn out fruitless. Everyday that 'maybe' never cones true. Every time you looked out to that sea of strangers, hoping to see someone you recognized, only to find none. Every hour you wasted trying to do something for them while they never once thought of you.

Maybe you'd cry if you could. Then again, maybe not.

You already had spent too many tears over failures you recovered and grew from, and hardships you faced and fought. You've already cried just a little too much during those night you just couldn't handle being so alone, in such a big place anymore. Besides, you've cried enough over people who've never once thought of you. Who never once tried to make time to even see one of your performances, or even allow you to spend a few minutes in their space.

You've given them enough, you think. Especially since after you spent years trying to just make it two thirds of the way — they couldn't even reach that one third of the gap you couldn't. They didn't even try, at least not anymore, and after you had tried to make it easy. Yet, you only hurt yourself in the end.

They never cared about you, and maybe they did once upon a time, but good does that do now when you're trying to go out of your way to make things convenient and easier for them, only for them to skip out on you anyway. No text, no call, no message, no indication, nothing. Just pure silence.

Maybe you were asking for too much, but was it really so bad to want to be loved? And by the people who are supposed to be your family no less?

Hah, who are you kidding at this point. You've just been living in a house full of strangers, and you're the only one who hasn't seen it yet. They've already long since cast you out, and it's only now have you come to truly realize it.

Especially now, as you stand in front of the foot of the door to the music room. Staring at the knob as if it'll turn itself.

You weren't surprised, honestly. Playing music had quickly become an amazing outlet for you, and you had always come here to seek out what little your family couldn't give you; comfort. So it was no wonder that as you collapsed mentally, you had subconsciously brought yourself here.

And yet, only one thought entered your head in that moment.

'They don't deserve to hear my music.'

Perhaps it was now that you decided they had lost the privilege to do so. After all, ever since you had started having performances, even ones in front of wealthy crowds, your 'family' had seemingly been avoiding them like the plague. Never daring to even attend one, for whatever reason, and sure you could understand why they didn't attend the ones you performed at night — but they couldn't use that excuse anymore. You have strictly been playing during the after noon, and at sunset at a push, for over three years now. You've been playing in front of crowds and releasing music for four.

So, you turned away, walking off to your room as your thoughts still stormed. Anger fueling you as you barely remembered storming into your room, collecting any valuables and belongings you had and stuffing them into a bag or two. Not caring about clothes, and only what you deemed important and meaningful to yourself as you just grabbed and shoved everything into a bag if you could.

You could clearly tell now that you obviously weren't wanted, and that no one here even wanted to do the smallest things with you. That even asking to just spend a few minutes with them was too much. So you were doing the only sensible thing, and getting the hell out of here. Moving so quickly that your breathing became uneven, but you didn't stop until you had packed everything you needed, or was important to you in some way.

You only really had a second thought about all this when you were at your window, just about ready to jump out until you paused for a second.

Looking back at the door to your room, you couldn't help but hesitate. There was only ever one person in this entire Manor who treated you like family, and actually put in effort to not only be with you, but to indulge themself in your passion. That met you at the half way mark, and even went a little over sometimes. Since even if everyone else had ignored you — Alfed was there, even if despite all of his efforts you still couldn’t handle this, and maybe that was also your own fault in some way.

You still didn't want to stay, you couldn't anymore, but shouldn't you at least say goodbye? Maybe? After everything... at least he tried.

...

You settled for second best.

Quickly, you grabbed a flashcard and wrote down something before pocketing it and moving back to the window. You may not have any equipment for this kind of thing, but you still managed to scale and work your way around the wall, and managed to reach the window to Alfred's room.

You took a little peak inside, and when you saw that he wasn't there, you opened up the window just a bit, place the small note on the windowsill, and closed it. Then, you skillfully and carefully made your way down, and snuck off to Gotham City. Making your way to a friend's place as you crashed there for the night.

Never once did you look back.

Nor did you ever feel inclined to.

------

Later that night, when Alfred read the note, all it said was:

I'm sorry, Alfed. - Y/n

Just with that alone, it was like he understood everything despite the little that was said. All he could wish you was luck, and that you'd be safe wherever you went.

Suddenly, just like that. The nights where melodies would lull the residence of the Manor to sleep, and bring a temporary, mellow peace to all who heard such a tune, were long gone...

Guess they'll just have to find it, and bring it back.

--------

Kind of rushed at the end there, hope it isn't too bad for a first post. There's probably a lot of mistakes, so apologies for that.

[ohmygraves]

you and simon were fighting.

it was such a dumb argument too, something that you've forgotten already, but of course he didn't. he got irritated at you and yelled, pointing fingers at you calling you stupid and bringing up all the times you've wronged him. he brought up the time when you got the two of you late for a reservation and costed him both time and money, or the time that you almost burned down the house after you fell asleep cooking something.

you were undoubtedly upset, telling him about how he didn't make you feel happy, how you were alone while he was going away for so long on deployments and you're at home with no means to talk to your husband hoping that he's still alive. or that he didn't even appreciate that you'd drag your ass out of bed when he wants some midnight snack because he's a lousy cook and he only likes your food.

the two of you went back and forth for a while, calling eachother out before simon put his foot down, yelling at you.

"i can't bloody stand you, i shouldn't have married you!"

that got you to shut up.

you looked at him in shock, eyes wide as tears slowly fell from your eyes. your lips quivered as you tried to process what he just said, wondering if he was being serious or not. wondering if he knows how much his words basically stabbed you on the chest.

simon, realizing what he just said, snapped out of his anger. knowing that he had fucked up. he tried to say something, but you quickly retreated back to your shared bedroom, locking it. your tears wouldn't stop and you started bawling, your choked sobs can be heard as he approached the door.

you thought that your marriage was over, seeing that he basically regretted his decision in making you his. he yelled at you without hesitation, making you cry and basically was quiet the whole time. you should probably go back to your parents, start separation, and—

your phone pinged, a message from simon. hesitating to open the text, your fingers trembled as you read it, eyes blurry from tears as you try to quiet your sobs.

you cried more, unlocking the door as you fling it open, jumping into simon's arms. he whispered lots of apologies, promising to make it up to you, and to never treat you this way again. you cried in his arms, feeling his tender touches on your hair and your back, hands still trembling. you're sure he's bad at this, that he feels awful for what he did (you could tell he was scared because he saw thay he slowly turned to be like his father and it scares him too).

he promised that he didn't mean what he said earlier, and he didn't regret marrying you. he'll do anything to convince you, he hated hearing your sobs and cries.

[doesephs]

me and the emetophobics have mad beef, stay safe jean

[factual-fantasy]

I had Octodads on the mind but I didn’t really know what to draw for them.. So I went with some wholesome hugs with the fam :}}}

Well, mostly wholesome. It wouldn’t be a Factual-Fantasy post if there wasn't at least a little emotional gut punch in it somewhere <XD

[biboomerangboi]

The thing I love about Fabian as a character is that he is currently living the life that people write Sad Steve Harrington fics about but we will never get to see the intense angst scenes in those fics because he’s being played by the worlds most committed to the bit comedian so instead of ever unpacking any of that he eats animals organs raw.

[landedinpayne]

in case you are in the mood to feel devastated here’s an alternate way of viewing charles’ response to edwin’s confession:

we know that charles kinda puts edwin on a pedestal- yes they are partners but there is a bit of a hierarchy between them. charles just looks up to and admires edwin in so many ways while constantly looking down on and being really hard on himself. he puts on his big happy persona because he thinks that people wouldn’t like him if they actually got to know him.

so when edwin confesses, it’s like a blow to him. he took his charming persona too far and went and tricked the most important person in the world into thinking he was worthy of love. and it’s worse because he does love edwin in that way, which is exactly why he can’t let him know that. charles still believes that he is like his dad, and he saw exactly what his parents’ relationship did to his mother.

he thinks that loving edwin in the way that he wants to would only cause more pain to this boy who has already been through far more than he deserves. so he blinks back his tears, attempts the same charming smile he’s used all these years, and dishes out the gentlest non-rejection in the history of forever

[generalsdiary]

jiaoqiu actively taking the strongest poison he knows of, for the chance his captor will honor the long tradition of drinking the captured's blood before battle is literally a given sign of him giving up hope. because any single person wouldn't do so if they were hoping to get out, to be saved, rescued, to escape- for him to ACTIVELY DECIDE that he will poison himself is him giving up any chance of getting back alive. and that does things to a person, as much as he was portrayed "alright" in the end, his mental ain't the same like before and no one can convince me otherwise.

he is alone, kidnapped, even let loose to walk around to find information (taunted by it)- unable to seek help, to get a message across, from the literal nightmare fuel foxian parents tell to their kids; and when help does arrive for once the first thing he says is "Moze... run". still protecting others. taking care of moze.

playing this play of lies and trickery, giving away every card in his sleeve for the off chance that his captor may kill him. and he gave up that hope of being saved early on. as early as the green peppers analogy. it is heartbreaking. in his last moments he is grateful that he has bested him, saved feixiao which was his long-term goal and yet he is dying alone, still captured, left in some corner to rot like a fruit gone bad. and then found on the brink of death.

and waking up, alive? well at first I doubt it was a relief for him, because what if he was still with the borisin. what if he wasn't safe. I'm certain moze was beside him but remember he is now blind. he wasn't able to look around and confirm, yeah I'm in this commission and I'm safe. so to go through the literal terror where they treat you less than equal, less than them, fight or flight or freeze for days on end, possible death or worse his friendly companion in every moment and then to actually bring harm upon yourself and on top of it all to thankfully be saved and then to wake up in unfamiliar surroundings with one of your main senses gone. yeah, jiaoqiu isn't the same man he was before this. repercussions he reaps are not light ones.

[marimeeko]

I'm back with more for that one post by @dailytogachako (Himiko Toga lived, went undercover, dyes and cut her hair and doesn't use her Quirk for murder and continues to admire Ochako/uravity from afar because love)

Plz help this is becoming an entire ass comic lmao

404 no frame found, but suddenly the train stops and people move, and Himiko gets off the train amongst the crowd, just seconds after Ochako notices her

Ochako chases mystery girl off the train, but it's crowded and she quickly loses her in a sea of people. (Could she solve this by using her Quirk to float above? Yes, but one, would draw too much attention, and if its really Himiko then she wouldn't want that, and 2...

She stops, because what is she even doing? There's no way it could be HER. ....right? )

Maybe part 2 later bc I have more in me but need a break lol

++additional notes: Himiko has an URAVITY Keychain and what I attempted to make of a Froppy Keychain as well.

Ochako is wearing her hair in a Himiko inspired bun!

Ochako has a small heart tattooed on her wrist....it's for Himiko, to always remind her of her, and what Ochako fights for in her work.

Cute little gloves prevent Ochako from accidentally using Quirk while she is out and about.

As I said before, Himiko dyed her hair black, cut it, straightens it as needed(though there's still always a stubborn little Stick-up piece!) Braids to frame her face differently than her usual look, pierced her ears because why not? Darker eye contacts to hide eye color. Face mask to hide the cutest smile in the world!

:') it's all good, my brain is just rotten with these two

[thelilylav]

Ok but like imagine this: you're best friends with the straightest girl in the world. She makes jokes about you being more fun and amazing than any prince. You make jokes about her naming her firstborn after you. You're destined to lose her. One day your whole world will be gone, all your friends and family, and it will just be you and some stranger who came to rescue you because it was written down. It's all any of you have ever known. You will marry a boy born a century after you. But you see the way she smiles when you guys talk about your future, so you keep it down. It's what your parents expect, what your friends want, what the world is telling you is the right thing to do. You swallow down the apprehension and fear and eventually it becomes so easy it's second nature.

Then something changes. A girl says this isn't how things have to be. Maybe this isn't even how things are supposed to be. And you're angry, because you've been playing this stupid part your whole life and it's as bad as hers, so why can't she just fall in line? Can't she see the pain she's causing everyone (the pain she's causing your best friend)?

You try to make things right. You tell people that the girl is wrong, that things aren't meant to change, that everything is fine. You do everything you can to make your best friend feel better, you push down your own thoughts on the situation because they're not what's important right now. Your opinion has always waited in second, it clearly can now too, right?

Right?

But you can't stop thinking about that day. The sound of the page tearing. At the time it sounded like something horrible, like something disgusting and forbidden and scary. But you keep going back to it. You keep thinking of what would happen if you did the same. If you didn't have to leave your friends behind. If the terrible future you'd resigned yourself to your whole life wasn't as inevitable as it once seemed. The sound of the tearing page begins to sound like freedom.

Your best friend doesn't get it. She thinks you're being selfish and erratic and crazy. You push each other away. Of course she didn't understand. She never thought about things like that. Never thought about you like that.

Things keep changing. More people say they haven't been happy with the way things are. Your other best friend says she's in love with a boy she's not supposed to be in love with, and you start to realise that things are more broken than they seemed.

You go to Wonderland. You made a mistake, a big one, but you're trying to fix it. Things are still awkward between you and your best friend. She still thinks you're wrong. But she accepts that she can't change your mind, and you guys are beginning to admit that, even though things can't go back to how they were, maybe you can still have a future together. Maybe you don't have to lose her after all.

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine when Itoshi Sae realizes things a little far too late.

Imagine Itoshi Sae wondering when it all started? Messages rarely received, calls barely make it through the night, the way you look so distracted when the two of you were in a video call, the fewer parcels he received. The way you look distracted and sometimes even out of it when he was in a phone call with you talking about whatever stuff he rant about.

"I'm sorry Sae, can we call things off tonight? I'm pretty tired from work." You spoke with an apologetic gaze over the scene. "Huh? Oh, yeah sure." "Thank you, then I'm hanging up then, Sae." The call ended just like that.

Imagine the way he starts wondering, when did it start? The lesser time the two of you had for each other. When the two of you started your relationship, both of you almost could not live without a single text or phone call per hour. It's been three days since he last saw your face over the phone, nine hours since you might have accidentally put him on ready. Were you that busy?

9:46 p.m

Sae: You good in there?

Sae: You left me on read, so I'm just checking up on you. Did something happen?

11:42 p.m

You: Sorry, something came up and I have to work overtime at the company.

You: It's lunchtime out there, right? Make sure to eat properly, I'm going to sleep now.

Imagine him wondering when you started looking like that? When did you start looking so dull even when talking about all your favorite, the things and stuff you love, you both love. And when was even the last time you've watched him play?

"I'm sorry, Sae, what were you talking about again? I didn't quite hear it." For the first time in this fifteen minutes video call, you finally spoke first words after telling him talk, well more like spoke things you can't seem to understand nowadays. Not that you really can not, but nowadays, it seems like... It feels strange.

"I was talking about our next game next week in there, at 27th, I was wondering if you could make it-?" It sounded desperate, as if he was looking forward for you to come. Maybe he was. He have not seen you in person for a while now. "27th? Oh God Sae, I have an important board meeting that day, I'm sorry I wouldn't able to come..." Strange enough, it scares him how despite your voice sounds genuinely disappointed of the unexpected circumstances were, you look rather unbothered.

Imagine as he was looking forward to seeing you again once he got back into his home country. There, you were usually greeting him with a smile on your face. But now, it wonders him when did you started looking at him with such dull eyes and a rather forced smile on your lips.

"Is everything okay? You look.." like you don't want to be with him right now. Uncomfortable. "Huh? Ye.. Everything is alright right now. You're here now." Why do you look like you're trying to convince yourself right now? Did you even realize you did not even try to go for a hug like you usually does the moment you see him at the airport?

Imagine Itoshi Sae wondering where it all went wrong as he watched you pack your things as he stood there at the door right after you told him, "Things aren't working anymore between the two of us that's why... We should take a break."

Imagine as he sat down on the sofa at the spacious living room, he turned on the television to at least bring noise into the silent room. Only to find your favorite slow playing that sent a pang on his chest. He did not even dare turn it off. He just stood up and went into the kitchen when he found a still hot meal at the table, a note left right beside it.

Do not misunderstand, I still love you. Heavens, God I do Sae. I love you very much, but I can no longer do this alone. You know what I'm talking about Sae. I can't be in this all alone when it should be the two of us together. I'm sorry. I really do, but I really can't do this anymore. I hope you don't starve yourself, not tonight, not tomorrow, and the following day. Please do take care of yourself, I hate to see you neglecting yourself.

- (First name)(Lastname)

Imagine the way he scoffs and rolls his eyes, the note slowly crumple in his palm. But then, eventually, he let out a sigh and sat down the seat right in front of the meal left on the table. He doesn't have an appetite. And yet, as his shaking hands picked up the cutlery on the table, as he piece by piece ate the meal on the table. A single tear falls down, followed by another.

Imagine, the more he thinks about it. The more he realizes, he was the one to blame for all of this. It was never you. It was him all along, was it not?

"So the thing was, one of my coworkers-" "I'm sorry, can we talk about this next time? I'm really tired, we just finished a game and.." "Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't inform me you have a game today, I could have watched." "Hmm. Yeah, I forgot." Then he groan, "Sorry, I'm really tired I'm hanging up." "Okay dear, I love y-" Call ended.

yesterday, 8:47 p.m

You: Jgh, what about you?

You: Oh wait it's probably around lunch in there, have a nice day, dear. Please do eat a proper meal. :)

yesterday, 9:30 p.m

You: Dear?

You: You left me on read, is everything alright in there?

You: I hope you're alright.

yesterday, 10:28 p.m

You: Sae?

You: I know you're busy, but can you at least tell me if you're doing well in there?

yesterday, 11:47 p.m

You: I'm sorry if I'm bothering you right now, but I'm worried.

today, 3:24 a.m

You: I just contacted your manager, idk why I haven't done that in the first place, but at least I can now sleep knowing you're just knocked out after practice. I'm going to sleep now, I'm sorry for the spam messages, I love you. :)

"I didn't know you had a game today." You spoke over the phone. "Huh? I didn't tell you?" "You didn't." There was a bitter smile on your face. "Sorry, I must have forgotten about it. It's nothing important, after all." "Nothing important, you say.." "What was that?" "Nothing dear." You laugh. "When will your next game be? It's been a while since I've watch you on the field." "Oh that? I'm not sure." There was a few moments of silence after that. "(First name)?" "Yes dear?" "I got to go." "Alright, take care, I lov-" Call ended.

"You see, I've seen this great place for couples and newlyweds for a perfect vacation-" "Can't we just stay home?" "But dear, we've talked about this-" "It's been a while since I've been given a vacation, can we just.. Can't we just stay at home?" Frustrated, he didn't even look at you, nor was he able to pick up the hits you've been giving him, even the way you were caressing the empty spot on your ring finger, and lastly, the crestfallen look on your face that was quickly replaced by a fake smile. "... Alright, let's do that."

Imagine the way it was all coming back to him at that very moment. The way he just sat there, eating and crying, he could not even utter a word nor let out a sound of pain. Because he deserves it, he deserves every bit of pain he was feeling right now for taking you for granted and realizing it, a little too late. You have already left, and right now, all he could do was wait. Wait for you to come back, even if you might never wish to do so.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

[nezz-cringe-crib]

lawlight angst hc (spoilers)

i started reading the death note manga and there's this one panel talking about light's nightmares and i like to headcanon that those nightmares never go away. even when his memories are gone in the yotsuba arc, he's still having nightmares that he doesn't fully understand but he knows it has something to do with him possibly being kira. he always brushes it to the side though and keeps gaslighting himself into believing it's not true. i especially like to headcanon that the night he gets his memories back, the night before he kills L, he has the worst nightmare he's had since the start of all of this and it completely ruins him. like he just wakes up in a sweat and starts sobbing, to the point where he can't even try to deny himself from anything anymore. i also like to think that on this same night, him and L are sharing the same room together despite not being handcuffed anymore. L probably requests it just because his suspicions are up again, and watching light wake up in a complete panic is the last piece of evidence he needs. but instead of acting on this, he just chooses to ignore it. because despite everything, light is his friend. and he would like to die knowing that the night before his passing, he was beside his friend, not his murderer.

the panel in question btw:

[maroonmused]

spider-man/deadpool #8

[liebrenado]

@saimatsu-week Day 1: Chapter 1. "I'm sorry."

[mobius-m-mobius]

#letting time pass

Loki S2 (2023) // Good Omens S2 (2023)