#this is mostly just me thinking aloud for a very specific scene i have in mind for Skysail

[sidereon-spaceace]

Concept: an upper limit to how much magic you can use to heal someone

Like how desperately chugging gallons of water in a span of minutes will kill you, how eating far too much food than you're used to can make you sick- in similarly extreme cases, casting too much magic to heal someone from serious injury can cause more problems than you're trying to fix.

Sudden onset of fever and chills, burns, after a certain point the body may just outright reject the magic being applied so that it has no affect.

[queermediaanysis]

I’m late to the Hazbin Hotel stuff, but I’ve binged it a few times recently and just have to say that I’ve never seen an abusive relationship that looked so much like mine portrayed so correctly (as in both accurately and in being completely condemned by the narrative) as Angel and Valentino.

I’ve seen a little of the discourse on this and I’m gonna add my thoughts under the cut.

Gonna start by saying 1. I was lucky enough to get out of my eight-year long abuse/DV situation in 2019 and I’m safe and okay now 2. I know everyone’s experience is different and I’m specifically talking about my experience of being in a long-term abusive situation and don’t mean to diminish anyone who’s experience with SA/DV was different than mine and 3. this is all high praise for what the show did, because it may not sound like it at first because it is legitimately hard for me to watch, especially the first time through.

I’ve realized I’m probably rambling out of order at this point and I apologize to anyone who’s chosen to read these words I just had to shout into the tumblr void but oh well.

Yes, I read the trigger warning at the beginning of e4. I braced myself because that one is typically fine with a heads up for me, but I still wasn’t prepared. I barely made it through that first watch because it didn’t warn about the DV tied to the SA. I’d already barely made it through the scene in e2 where Angel Dust is listening to voicemails from Valentino because jfc it’s so painfully accurate. I heard some of that stuff verbatim from my abuser. Word for word exactly the same.

The other part that’s accurate is how self-destructive Angel is as a coping mechanism and his reasons why. “If I end up broken, maybe I won’t be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he’ll let me go.” It’s. So. Accurate. To my experience at least, which is one that looked a lot like their whole relationship.

“Loser Baby” is absolutely fine with me. Because again, it’s so accurate. Having someone sit with you and say “hey, I clearly see that you’re not being treated right no matter how hard you try and fake things, and that you’re at rock bottom and not doing good things with the ways you’re dealing with that, and I’m here for you anyway” is what pushed me to finally leave. My now-best friend who at the time was my co-worker who’d just been hired a few months prior is the one who said it to me. He saved my life in more ways than one and I’m forever grateful for it. I’ve read a few things saying the song was calling Angel a loser in a victim blaming way, and that’s not how I took it at all. Admitting how much things suck, saying that aloud, including the ways I’d changed for the worse was crucial for me in the process of leaving and trying to heal afterwards.

“Poison” wasn’t even the part that was difficult to watch for me, even though those scenes are (mostly) what earned e4 the trigger warning at the opening. But the lyrics hit me hard. “My story’s gonna end with me dead from your poison.” I lived this for years. I can’t overstate how much this was the reality of my experience. I thought that was how things would end up for me. I didn’t think I’d have a way out from this person who was both hurting me and making me the absolute worst version of myself possible. I was so sure I’ve of those two things would eventually be the end of my story. I’m very very lucky it wasn’t and I’m grateful for the resources I had that let me leave when I could.

This was a whole lot of rambling to really just say I’ve never felt so seen and respected by the representation of abuse in a piece of media. Maybe it’s because I’m coming off feeling weird about things in OFMD2 and withholding saying any on that because reasons. But I can definitely weigh in accurately in the abuse plot line in Hazbin and it’s all praise from me. Would I have avoided watching it if I’d have known how big of a plot line that would be? Yes, probably. I would’ve at least read spoilers ahead of time to try and gauge it. I nearly stopped it a few times because I wasn’t expecting it to be so painfully close to my own experience and shown so blatantly instead of being implied off-screen.

But am I glad I watched it? Absolutely. Mostly because the narrative so clearly frames everything as capital-b Bad. And I’m grateful they showed what they did how they did, and even more grateful and that the narrative (which is specifically working with a major, prominent, surface-level text theme of redemption/redeem-ability) frames Valentino as an irredeemable villain for his role as the abuser, while also giving Angel Dust three-dimensions in his own flaws that he’s responsible for. It’s done flawlessly imo. And I’m glad I watched it, even though it was hard.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

First off, the way you write Tsumiki is so beautiful and makes so much sense and I would die for her. Also, Tsumiki/Maki is fucking inspired. It fits so perfectly within the story and fleshes out both of their characters and I have so many feelings about it.

What you wrote about the cause of the no-contact fits so well with the Zenin how do you even come up with this!! And it also reframes so many scenes in sea glass gardens (specifically, I went to double check bc I just realized that Tsumiki still refers to Megumi’s dogs by their names and they still reapond to them. I am going to cry Megumi deserved so much better). Nanami is absolutely insane in the best way for demanding half custody like he seems like he’d be willing to throw hands over it regardless of the cost to himself and it’s so perfect with how much he (like Gojo) believes so much in protecting children. I have more words to say but not the brainspace to say them bc it is late at night for me. But! I would die for you and your writing thank you so much for getting into jjk

I’m soo glad that y’all liked Tsumiki/Maki too. The versions of them that live in my head just fit together like puzzle pieces. They were each other’s foil and they understood the other all the more for being what the other had chose not to be. Tsumiki had chosen her sibling and Maki had chosen herself, and both of them know what it means to have those be mutually exclusive.

Also the version of Tsumiki that lived in my head violently hates the Zenin and I could not imagine anything more attractive to Maki. Tsumiki would firebomb their compound without hesitation or regret. Maki wants to kiss her on the mouth.

Tsumiki very purposefully was designated as the character who would keep calling the dogs by their names, because she’s the one who most aggressively tries to insulate Megumi from the effects of the jujutsu world on him.

Tsumiki knew Kuro and Shiro longer than anyone. She remembers when Megumi first summoned his puppies. She knows exactly how much he loves them and she knows exactly how badly he must have been hurt to push him to never call them by their names again. Those dogs mean the world to him, and she knows it.

In her mind, what Megumi lost wasn’t his love for his dogs. If he lost that, she thinks he’d be more willing to call them by their names—names are just easy ways of distinguishing them, after all. They’re already named. He’s only inconveniencing himself by never saying their names aloud.

She thinks Megumi stopped calling them by name as a way of protecting them from the Zenin clan.

He never saw his family again, is the thing, but the Zenin have always existed on their periphery. They know that the Zenin haven’t lost interest in him. Gojo tries to shield them (but mostly Megumi) from as much of the Zenin as possible, but they know that the Zenin have been prodding them for more contact and information on Megumi ever since Gojo cut them off. And they know that the Zenin have a lot of contact with the jujutsu world. They both assumed that, over the years, plenty of people have reported back to the Zenin on Megumi.

They trust Gojo, Nanami, Shoko, and Ijichi to not leak information to the Zenin. No one else.

She’s always suspected that Megumi stopped calling his dogs by their names because he didn’t want it to get back to the Zenin that he loved them like pets still. They’d be safer if the Zenin didn’t realize how much he still loved them. Maybe if he hid it, they’d assume they scared him off, and they wouldn’t hire someone to kill a dog when he’s on a mission or something. And that’s what she’ll never forgive the Zenin for taking from him.

They took away Megumi’s safety in his love. It became something he didn’t feel comfortable showing, ever, because it was something he would be hurt over. They made him hide it. And it kills Tsumiki to see, because her brother loves more fiercely than anyone she’s ever met. He loves in a way that terrifies her, sometimes, because she thinks it will kill him one day, she really does.

He loved those dogs enough to be beat within an inch of his life to keep them safe. He wouldn’t just suddenly start treating them like they’re impersonal weapons. They’re still Kuro and Shiro to him, she knows it. They’re still his puppies. And she doesn’t want the Zenin to get to take that from him.

She doesn’t want Megumi to just… succumb to what the jujutsu world did to him. She doesn’t want him to just take the beating the way he took it for his dogs. And she doesn’t want him to just sacrifice himself for her and call it a day. She wants him to fight for himself and for his right to live on his own terms. And she’s not sure if he’ll do that.

So she’ll fill in the gaps where she can. His dogs’ names are Shiro and Kuro, and they’re her brother’s puppies. They’re her best boys and she’ll treat them like pets all day long if she pleases, because the Zenin had no fucking right to take that from her brother. She’ll spit in Zenin Naobito’s face if she ever gets half a chance.

[lilredghost]

Bestie I hope you're doing alright <333 I just need to let you know that i love the emperor obi wan fic?? I marriage oh god i mourn for them both, both had such different expectations but why don't they just COMMUNICATE oh god they're idiots your honour And oh the different ways in which they pray and the braids!!

In some ways, Obi-Wan is asking an entirely different question now.

“Would you like to spar?” he says.

Would you stand by me? he means. When I’m wrong, will you correct me and force me to try again?

Will you stay?

And Anakin says yes.

i love this scene and the words and the way you show us them getting over their differences <3 and the plot over the poison!! i was expecting it to go like in the movie, you know, that anakin cooks the meal but komari humiliates him by asking him to take the first bite but ths is just!!! so perfect!!! will we see obi going undercover into the kingdom? i can't wait to see how you've planned it all out bestie i already love all your writing 💜💜💜

Ahhh thank you!! This fic is such a pain in the ass (affectionate), it's really a labor of love.

We all know Obi-Wan and Anakin are incapable of communicating on the first try (or even the twentieth try). They had to do a whole lot of work to undo first impressions and then find their way from there. But one of the biggest problems is that they won't even admit what they want out of it!!

Obi-Wan is out here going "Please love me, please love me" but he REFUSES to say that aloud because he's too afraid to hear a refusal. In his mind, nothing is making sense anyway, because (spoiler alert) Tatooine was the one who asked for the marriage. He really thought that Anakin WANTED to marry him, and he feels like he's being jerked around when Anakin's behavior seems to show that he never did.

I think there's definitely a bitter, self-hating sort of sentiment here where Obi-Wan is thinking that he's somehow unloveable. So in this scene with the spar, he's thinking "Will you stay?" because he's willing to settle for being coworkers and being friends, even if it means he'll never have a loving marriage. (And it's such a relief that Anakin says yes to even that. Like, progress in SPADES)

They're slowly sort of figuring out their emotions and trying to reconcile their cultural differences at the same time. I'm hoping the next arc (after the poison thing) will be very hindi-love-song-esque (ie: if ch 6-8 was jashn-e-bahaara, Tatooine arc will be in lamhon ke daaman mein ((sex included))

Glad I can still surprise you even though you clearly know the movie well!! I remember rewatching it before starting this fic and going "Wow what do you mean no one has made this extremely specific crossover as a fic already?" Like to me it was so vividly clear that Komari was Maham Anga and Xanatos was Adham Khan but somewhere along the way I threw out Sujamal's plotline and added more siblings and omegaverse and a whole bunch of Force philosophy and it became its whole own beast!

Obi-Wan's definitely going to get a chance to explore Tatooine (mostly at Anakin's side, but not always) because I want him to get some direct insight on Anakin's culture and traditions. I have yet to decide how much anonymity he has, but I feel like the people of Tatooine are pretty chill about royalty. Also they'll get to go to a temple, which I'm pretty excited about!!

[writing-nebula]

Update! (Also, sneak peek at the chapter!)

H I I'M NOT DEAD, HERE'S THAT UPDATE I PROMISED

Admittedly, most of this is going to be copied from AO3, with a few wording changes, as I summed myself up pretty well there, s o if you don't happen to follow Aura on AO3-

"I'll let you know if I think a chapter will take 6+ months" 9 months (10 months now, near 11 w h o o p s), no chapter, and no update later:

All I can really say at this point is sorry about the lack of update- I got a job, started writing a few other stories, some oneshots you may have seen me post if you've looked at my AO3, and just generally been Too Busy to work on Aura, even if I hadn't been having major writing block issues for it specifically

I'm making this update to assure you guys that this story hasn't been abandoned, that I'm not dropping it- I am still working on it! It's just going a lot slower than I would've liked, and I'm not sure if there's much I can do about that at this point in time.

That being said, I'm making this update now because I have actually made great progress on the next chapter! It's certainly not done, but the block seems to have mostly lifted for now, and I know exactly what I want to write for the rest of the chapter.

A n d, so I don't just leave you hanging here, I d o have a few scenes I'll be posting alongside this- both to assure you I am working on it, and to apologize for taking so long lol. I'm doing my best with it, I promise you!

That's all I have to say, I think- thank you all so much for your patience, and I hope to have something more out for you soon!! Alrighty- with that being said, I have a few scenes to add here, also copied from my update on AO3, so if you read there nothing has changed! But for those who might only follow Aura via Tumblr, here are a few preview scenes for the upcoming chapter, under the cut! I'm really excited to show the whole thing to y'all when it's done :D

"That was, uh, Mark and Amy, probably- I had a dizzy spell a few minutes ago, they both freaked out when I hit the floor."

"Oh," that would explain the suddenness of it- "then- That means there's someone new?"

Now excited- and feeling less shaky- Anti pushed himself to his feet, smiling when the human joined him and trying to peer past him again. "Who is it? A fan ego? I know there are a couple out there you like-"

He cut himself off when he registered the confusion drifting out from the living room, and from Jack himself.

"...What is it?"

"...See, we don't know who or what appeared," Jack told him with a frown. "Nothing changed, and we can't find sign of anybody..."

----------------------

When he entered his room, the feeling increased tenfold, which should be impossible, Marvin put spells up to prevent him from feeling their emotions so strongly up here- ...Which meant he was right.

There's someone in here.

Anti took a deep breath, trying to push away the fear and apprehension that kept squeezing, tightening like a vice around his chest- it's not me, it's not mine-

He took another deep breath, letting it out slow.

He shut the door behind him.

"...I know you're there," he started quietly, not wanting anyone outside the room to hear him. "I don't know why you're hiding from everyone, but... I'm not going to tell them." He paused, shoulders slumping in relief as the fear eased up somewhat.

"I won't tell them you're here, but you can't just hide in my room forever, okay? Not without at least calming down. I can... Feel you, and it's a lot."

Still no response, but as he sighed, going to his little desk and sitting down to use his laptop, he felt the fear in the air receding further- to be replaced by a gentle spark of curiosity.

He smiled, just to himself, and put on Jack's Resident Evil playlist. I'll give him some time to adjust. It's not like I can blame him for being nervous... 

When he felt a presence watching over his shoulder, he chose not to comment aloud, and he was very proud of himself for not immediately turning to look- though he honestly doubted he'd see anything anyway. 

...I just wish I knew who the hell 'he' is.

------------------

Anti was honestly used to the feeling of someone watching over his shoulder, at this point. Three days and this mysterious, silent, invisible ego still hadn't shown himself, though Anti was very sure he was still there.

Besides the watching whenever he was using his laptop, he could still feel him- nervousness, curiosity, faint stabs of irritation. It felt like a million things at once and were way stronger than one person's emotions could feel, but it had only ever seemed like one person, so he just dealt with it.

Today it was Golf With Friends, rather than the usual horror game- he mostly had it up for distraction, because despite Marvin's charms on the room, he could still feel Jack and Mark's excitement from the recording room, though thankfully he was too far away to physically hear them.

...With how focused he was, trying to ignore the emotion feelings, he wasn't really paying attention to his 'roommate'.

But he still noticed the instant that presence solidified, became something real-

And Anti found himself holding his breath as the semi-annoying phantom sensation became the very very real feeling of somebody actively leaning over him.

it's a hell of a time to stop being shy why the fuck-

"...What are you watching this time?"

Anti's racing thoughts screeched to a halt, and he exhaled sharply, keeping his gaze fixed on the laptop screen.

He felt frozen, fixed in place- and it wasn't because the guy finally spoke, the question startled him, sure, but it was reasonable enough, he probably couldn't see the screen very well.

No, the problem wasn't the question- it was the voice.

Calm, but deep enough for a faint rumble in his chest. Smooth, but not soothing- more cold. 

The faintest of echoes ringing in his ears, two voices just below the first- similar, but different.

...I know that voice.

-----------------

(Please note that these are still from a newer draft, and wording or more may change between these and the final chapter!)

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

3, 4, 5, 11, 18, 19, 34, 37, 38, 40

*Berry flicks me in the back of the head with her fingers*

Ow!

"Hey Twig, you've been forgetting that when Sparkle sends asks they're for both of us again. I'm jumping in on this post now. We get in double the amount of songs that way."

Oh! Okay! Sorry. I'm really sorry I don't know why the frick I keep forgetting--

"It’s. It’s fine. Honestly, I forget too, which is kinda even more upsetting. Well anyways, I'm here now. And I can go through your previously answered asks and get on any of those I’ve missed after."

3) a song tied to a specific moment in your life

Not really a specific moment so much a specific period of time, but, Problem Child by Simple Plan reminds me very strongly of 6th grade.

"The Middle of a Moment from the James and the Giant Peach musical adaptation reminds me of when I first left home."

4) a song that is not sung in your native language

H@ppy Together from Fresh Precure.

"Aisling's song from The Secret of Kells!"

YOOOOOO WHY DIDN'T THAT ONE OCCUR TO ME FIRST KJGSHDGKJSDLIGBSDAG

"I have no idea. That was like, your favorite scene back when you were watching The Secret of Kells like, every day."

I mean. Technically that one has a line that's in english.

"Yeah, exactly ONE line. That comes around like, twice. The entire rest of the song is not in english. It counts.

...If it doesn't count, Imma say Histoire de Mensonges by Fred Pellerin."

OH POOP WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF PRISENCOLINENSINAINCIUSOL

"WHY DIDN'T YOU OH MY GOD anyway that's already FOUR songs instead of two, next question."

5) a song over 5 minutes long

The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace by The Amazing Devil.

"The Most Unwanted Song!"

dsjhfsdkjg the way I'm the one who names a song by the band that makes everything sound like something out of high fantasy, and my best friend who's literally fae names the song literally crafted in a lab to be the worst song ever.

*Berry shoves me*

11) something you'd give ANYTHING to hear performed live

What comes to mind is musicals that I’ve listened to the soundtrack of but haven’t seen. Saw the Hamilton proshoot but never saw it live, seeing it live really really must be AMAZING.

“I think if somecreature were able to perform The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku live I would HAVE to see that.”

JFOISDHGOUASDGBISDGUISDVGIUSDVUIFAVSDIUGVUISDBGSDUIAGDSIVUIVGUIDSVUIFVSDUIVGUISDFDSUVGDIUSVGDAISUGAS okay your answer’s entirely a jillion times better than mine and I 100,000% agree.

“Aurelio Voltaire songs must be amazing live too, if we had to stick to like, naturally humanly possible things.

But seriously. Disappearance of Hatsune Miku.”

Yes.

18) a song that demands lip syncing into a makeshift microphone

What comes immediately to mind is 30/90 from Tick Tick Boom but it's not lip syncing so much as fully belting along to it so really it's more of an answer to 16 than 18.

"Yeah, this is kind of a hard one for us 'cause we don't really DO lip-syncing so much as just singing along, huh? Hmm. I do see you lip-sync to Taylor Swift songs when they come on out loud a lot though."

Yeah sometimes it’s ‘cause I’m in a context I’m not totally comfortable singing aloud in, and sometimes it’s just ‘cause if I try to sing along it’s hard not to automatically try to match the key and my voice isn’t high enough for that. Hmm. Still doesn't feel like a proper answer.

"Might be best to just go onto the next question or we'll probably be stuck on this one for a ridiculous amount of time."

Yeah, I guess.

19) the last song you had stuck in your head

It keeps changing every minute, bro. At this particular second of me typing this, it's All Hallows by Aviators but also They Come In The Night by Elise Ecklund and also some other song I forget the name of but mostly All Hallows. It'll be something entirely different by the time we're done with these asks.

34) a song you'd like your favorite artist to cover

I mean, we have a LOT of favorite artists...

"Ooooooh! What about a Rachie or Jubyphonic english cover of Fear Garden or Scissorloid?”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Y E S

OR OF THIS IS THE HAPPINESS AND PEACE OF MIND COMMITTEE

“OH MY GOD YES. WE NEED A RACHIE OR JUBYPHONIC COVER OF THAT ASAP.”

37) a song you're ashamed to have in your music library

Several fan songs for media I consume secondhand.

*Berry smirks at me and takes a bite out of the cookie she's eating*

*she looks at you* "I can't give an answer of my own for this because I have no shame."

38) okay what's the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37

*i sit there sweating, mouth clamped shut*

*Berry just looks at me*

"How long will you drag this out, Twig?"

I'm GONNA come clean eventually, just not in an ask that's posted for EVERYCREATURE who looks at my tumblr to see!

"Fair."

40) favorite disney song

Are we counting TV shows or only movies? 'Cause I have a bunch of favorite Sofia the First songs and a bunch of favorite Phineas and Ferb songs, which feels pretty separate from Disney movies--

"I think we’re just counting movies. I dunno, just feels like that was probably the original intent with this question."

Ah.

...Well, cliche as it is, I might actually have to say Let It Go. It WAS genuinely in my top 3 favorites for years after Frozen came out. Don't anycreature judge, it's a genuinely good song, y'all are just mad because it’s been overplayed to the extreme. 

"Hmmmm. Hard decision for me. I wanna say something from Tangled the series, maybe Wind In My Hair or Waiting In The Wings or Nothing Left To Lose--and SERIOUSLY it’s hard to choose between those--but I also kinda feel like saying The Next Right Thing from Frozen 2? I dunno, we’ve seen some videos talking about some of the making of that song and some of the music theory in it, and the Frozen people really did go hard with that portrayal of hitting absolute rock bottom emotionally and trying to pull yourself up just the tiniest little bit at a time.”

It’s true.

“Welp! That was fun! 😄”

We really do have to get better at remembering to BOTH answer Sparkle’s asks gsudbagisbgiiau

“Yeah.”

[jurdanhell]

When Cardan mentioned "above me is the same silvery moon, which reminds me of your knife pressed against my throat and other romantic moments" did he mean when she led him to court of shadows for the first time at knife point or when she did it just before their first kiss?

PS - I love your tfota analysis posts!

hi, friend!!

tbh it could be seen it as an “all of the above” type option.

for reference, i’m going to draw connections from the moonlight to the ‘glint of your blade’ bit, it’s because that’s the only observation i can recall that directly involved both moonlight and her blade, which would trigger his memory of her blade on his throat from moonlight (i hope that made sense??? i’m so sorry my brain stopped working right here. moving on)

jude pressed a knife to his throat in both scenarios, and considering the folk are (because i cannot remember the proper word for this other than:) nocturnal, i imagine both times where at night (i.e. the scene i chapter 21 where they leave the coronation-turned-bloodbath and jude flips the script on him & the iconic chair scene)

however, if i had to give you my best analysis, i would say it was when cardan had first gotten them out of the coronation (when she led him to the cos). here’s why:

for context, in this scene cardan has just allowed them to skip past the guards with some careful wording. he’s got a possessive grip on her arm as he steals her through hallways with locked doors that he has keys to.

jude picks her moment and presses the knife to his neck. he says her name aloud for the second time in the book (unfortunately, i checked), appearing as though he’s trying not to drunkenly slur (fair, although i’d argue that he was also scared and horny).

at this moment they’re just inside the upper level of the palace. admittedly, i imagine this part of the palace to have a decent amount of windows, both for aesthetic and to allow for natural light.

since their cycles are practically flipped (considering holly’s folk are creatures of the dusk), the moon would likely be out, with moonlight spilling in from the windows. i can very easily see the light spilling in and glinting off her blade.

it seems like a stretch, but hear me out.

the reason i don’t think he’s specifically referencing the chair scene is because the cos is known to be underground (behind the wine cellar i think?). there would be no windows here, mostly because it’s underground but also because it’d be a security risk. there’s three of them (not counting dain or jude) and if there were windows they’d have to be guarded at all times—it’s just not practical. underground, there’s one way in and one way out.

since there’s no windows, there’s no moonlight getting in.

since i find it very difficult to believe there was any reason to draw the blade to the throat scene from his mind at the mention of moonlight (in reference to being tied up in the cos), i highly doubt it was the second one.

as such, i think it’s a lot more believable that he was most likely thinking about that first time she held a blade to his throat. after all, it was the first time he’s really started to see her. jude even goes as far to mention that he looks at her “with a new intensity.”

that line could be interpreted a ton of different ways, but that’s not what you’re asking ab lmao

none of this was worded very well but i hope you get my point. in conclusion: i do not think it plausible that he was referencing the chair scene. thank you for your time

ps - !! thank you so much friend! i’m very glad you enjoy my little rambles!!

[danniburgh]

Give you what you want (Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo

Summary: You’ve been crushing hard on Javier - and Colonel Carrillo. And when they both find out about it, they can’t help but indulge you.

Word count: +11.1k

Chapter warnings: mild angst, mentions of violence, divorce talk, discussion of polyamorous relationship. OT3 SMUT, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, double penetration, alcohol, a lot of cum lol

A/N: this is a collab between me, @maharani-radha-writes​ and @queenofthefaceless, okay, yes this is a repost (basically the blog in which this os was posted blocked me). originally posted on april 6th 2021

ao3 // Masterlist // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

Carrillo slammed his face on the steering wheel of his car with a groan. He had just spent all day in court finalizing his divorce—which had been going on for months—and just as he had gotten home, he realized that he had forgotten his service pistol at the office. Something he was not allowed to bring in the courtroom.

Fuckers.

He had separation anxiety from it, so even though he had multiple spares in the house, he had one trusty weapon, and he wouldn’t be caught dead without it. He glanced at the clock, and saw that it was only eight o’clock, so it wasn’t too late for him to swing back to base and grab it. Shaking his head, he turned the ignition of his car back on and reversed out of his driveway to head back to the station.

When he got there, he used his keys to enter through the back doorway, not really wanting to have to greet the guards at the front. He was just… way too done with people that day. Although he and his by then ex-wife had separated amicably (or as amicably as it could get), the divorce had taken a huge toll on him. He and Juliana had separated about five months before, and he had spent that time sitting in lawyers’ conference rooms, arguing over this and that. He was ready to just give her everything and anything she wanted if it meant he could get that painful process over with.

Truth be told, Carrillo was lonely. He had been for a long time, even while he was still married to Juliana. They had been less of a married couple and more like roommates for the past year at least, and it was getting to them both. His job was tough and dangerous–Juliana didn’t understand a lot of it. To be fair, he kept most of it from her, but that got exhausting after a while. He longed to just...let go, and he couldn’t do that with her. And after a while, she had decided that staying married to him (and his job) was more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t blame her, not one bit.

It didn’t matter any more. He had firmly closed that chapter of his life, and was ready to move on. He didn’t know what the future looked like for him, but the only thing that he was sure of was that Pablo Escobar would be dead. He would make sure of it–even if he died trying.

After finding his service pistol, which had been stuffed in a holster under his desk, Carrillo closed the door to his office, and proceeded to walk down the hallway to the back exit. But he stopped when he heard voices coming from the bullpen.

Odd.

He hadn’t seen anyone when he had come in. He turned slightly and strained his ears to try to see if he could discern who it was. Then he heard the distinct Southern American drawl of none other than Steve Murphy. The man had been pulling late nights in the office ever since his wife got up and left him.

“All right, kiddo, care to tell me what the fuck your problem is?”

Who–? Was “kiddo”? It certainly couldn’t be Peña. It was a Friday night, surely Peña was off….doing something (or someone) else.

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem, Murph?”

Oh, it was you. The lone female agent of the DEA. Carrillo had been quite wary of you when you had joined the team about a year before. He really wasn’t sure what, if anything, you would be bringing to the table. And he thought that having two DEA agents was two too many already. But over time, you had proven to be a strong, capable, and intelligent partner, and his respect for you had grown.

Bringing you to Colombia had been a good decision, on the part of your superiors.

Now that he had identified the two people still stuck in the base, he should have been satisfied and been on his way. But something about Steve’s tone of voice kept him rooted to the spot. He really, really shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, especially since he was sure that it was a conversation he was not meant to hear.

“You’re on edge. A lot more than usual,” Steve said, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Steve. Just drop it,” you grumbled.

“Oh, so there is something?” Steve snarked, “Look, I normally would back off and leave you alone, but you’ve been highly distracted lately. And it’s affecting your work. I need to know what’s up or at least confirm that you’re going to get this resolved soon because we need your head in the game.”

Now that Steve mentioned it, Carrillo had noticed that you were...not yourself. And you hadn’t been for a while. But Carrillo was too caught up in his own drama to give it much of a thought.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I’ll try not to be so scatterbrained. I’ll fix it, I promise.”

“Is this what I think it is? The thing you told Connie that I’m not supposed to know about?” Steve asked.

Carrillo knew he absolutely needed to leave. That was not a conversation he should be listening to. But he just could not help it.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Steve. I’ve told Connie a lot of things,” you chuckled, nervously.

“I mean about–” there was a pause, presumably Steve looking around to check that nobody was there, “–your feelings. For, uh, ya know, Peña?”

Oh. That was news.

“And–uh–Carrillo I think?” Steve continued.

Wait...what?

Carrillo whipped his head around so fast that he winced as his neck twinged in protest. Since when...since when did you have feelings? For him? And Peña? What was happening? Someone needed to shoot him because that could not be real.

“Must you say it aloud?” you hissed.

“I’m sorry, kiddo, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” Steve apologized, “And normally I would mind my own fucking business, but this is getting out of hand. You really don’t think I notice the cows’ eyes you make at Peña when he’s not looking?”

“I don’t do that!” you denied, indignantly.

“Okay fine, maybe that’s a bit dramatic,” Steve conceded, “But the point still stands. You definitely need to get this fixed. Have you thought, oh I don’t know, telling Peña? Or even Carrillo?”

“Are you crazy?” you stammered, “Do you have any idea what that would do to my career? Not to mention that Carrillo is...fucking married?”

“Well, he’s divorced now,” Steve clarified, “And nobody has to know. It’s nobody else’s business but yours. I’m just saying, think about it ok? You deserve an outlet, just like everyone else.”

Carrillo decided that it was best to not stay and hear what you had to say to that. Instead, he hightailed it out of the base, as quickly as he could, trying to keep his footsteps light so as not to alert you and Steve to his presence. Once he was finally in the safety of his car, he put his head back onto the seat and let out a long breath, trying to figure out what he was going to do with that information. He couldn’t deny that the idea of you having feelings for him was incredibly flattering. You were a very guarded individual and quite hard to read sometimes–not so dissimilar to him. He would have never, in a million years, guessed that you would be interested in him, and that was mostly due to your closed off persona.

But to find out that you had feelings for both him and Peña? That was an interesting development. Carrillo didn’t know how to feel about that. But he can’t deny that it intrigued him...more than it should have. His mother would be completely mortified if she found out that he was entertaining this--whatever it was.

But his mother was not here. His wife was gone, and had taken the kids with her. It was just him, and his large house. And now, apparently, you and possibly Peña. Carrillo tilted his head contemplatively and started the ignition of his car.

Maybe...just maybe, there was something to this whole charade.

**Scene Break 1**

Steve was tired. Scratch that, he was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally.

Javier had been looking at you for far too long, and Steve could taste the yearning and the tension that lingered around the office when Peña looked at you. It was maddening, and Steve had no idea how Peña had managed this long without jumping you. After all, he never seemed to have a problem getting a woman’s attention and keeping it. So, why were you so different?

And the worst part of this whole circus is that you were so blissfully unaware of it. It made Steve’s mouth foam with rage.

When he told Connie over the phone, the previous night, what you had said to him and how you had confessed to being attracted to both men, she actually convinced him to talk to Javi on your behalf. Because Connie knew you, and she knew you would just shut up about it, guard it as if you were a dragon with a treasure, never say a thing, and suffer in silence until your feelings went away. And if they didn’t. Too bad. Steve hadn’t wanted to get involved. After all, you were an adult, and Javier was an adult. You should be able to sort these things out yourself. But alas, that had not happened. And if Steve didn’t do something about it, it was going to get out of hand, quickly.

So when you got up from your desk and got out of the office, Steve walked to Javier and slammed his hand on a pile of files that Javier was almost hiding behind.

“Yes, Murphy, how can I help you?” Peña drawled, trying to keep his voice as even and unaffected as possible.

“Don’t give me that innocent bullshit, Peña,” Steve growled, “I’m so sick of you.”

“What could I have possibly done now?” Javier huffed, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. He figured that if he played dumb, Steve would go away.

Alas.

“You, and her,” Steve said, emphasizing his point by jabbing his finger in the direction of the door you had just walked out of, “There’s something between the two of you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Javier decided not to answer that. Instead he just took a puff of his cigarette and stared at Steve, daring him to continue.

“I’m serious Peña, stop playing coy. This is starting to affect your working relationship, and I’m getting sick of it,” Steve grumbled, “Do something about it. Now.”

It took a few moments of silence, but Javier finally decided to concede to Steve. Truth was, Javier’s head was full of thoughts. Full of you. Truth be told, getting infatuated with you was just a matter of time.

You were just… frustratingly attractive, incredibly strong and so damn smart. A dangerous combination, you were almost perfect. And that, scared the shit out of him. It had been a long time since Javier felt like that; he didn’t like the vulnerability of it all, he didn’t like how it was way too apparent that whatever you did, for small that it was, affected him in some way. He didn’t like the fact that he wanted to be with you all the time, see you all the time, talk to you all the time. He wanted to protect you all the time even when he knew you could perfectly protect yourself. And he had been feeling like that for months.

Javier interpreted that as karma, getting so madly, deeply into you and getting absolutely nothing in return. Until Steve chimed in, nosy as ever, to speak about something that was clear as a water drop but he just kept denying from himself.

He replayed what Steve had told him while he puffed from his cigarette and for a split second, and let himself smile at the words of his partner.

Steve was right. He was aware of how much he had been missing and how affected his job seemed to be because of how much time he spent thinking about you. It was so unlike him, and it was very unprofessional. But he just couldn’t help it.

You and your strikingly beautiful being. You letting him hold you close. You, with your hands on him. You and how sweet your lips must taste. You and how your naked body must look in the dimmed lights of his bedroom. Fuck.

So he decided, after his partner all but scolded him about being too dumb to realize, that he was going to face you and just… make things happen.

Steve smiled to himself while looking down at a file when Javier stood up from his own desk and walked out of the office.

“Attaboy,” he mumbled to himself.

**Scene Break 2**

You weren’t sure what it was, but suddenly the air in that bullpen had become oppressive, and you just needed to get out. Well, frankly...you weren’t stupid. You knew what was causing you to feel this way. It was stupid Steve and his stupid way of being right all the time, how the fuck did he do that? At some point, you were going to have to tell Javier (and possibly Carrillo, as well) how you felt, but if you could put it off for longer, you were absolutely going to do so.

You sat on the concrete wall bordering the police base, observing quietly as the citizens of Medellín went about their day, getting lunch and catching up with their colleagues. There was a man selling arepas just a few feet from you, and the smell was amazing. But no matter how tantalizing the scent was, you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat. All you needed was some air. Yeah, that’s what you needed. You’d be fine after a few moments.

Unfortunately, your peace wasn’t to last long, and as you were soon to discover, your observational skills would need a check up because Colonel Horacio Carrillo himself had just plopped himself next to you, and you hadn’t even noticed. Carrillo, for his part, waited a few moments before clearing his throat, startling you from your thoughts, and successfully getting your attention.

Ah shit.

One of the exact men that you didn’t want to deal with right now was sitting right next to you.

Joy.

“Those arepas look fantastic,” he remarked in that lovely accent you really liked, “Do you want one?”

You shook your head.

“No thank you,” you mumbled, “I’m fine.”

Carrillo hummed.

“I’m sure we could find something else if you would prefer. There’s all kinds of food in Medellín,” he replied. But you refused again.

“No, really, I’m fine. I don’t want any food,” you said.

Carrillo tilted his head and clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly. He gave a small, almost imperceptible smirk, and if you didn’t know him so well, you would have missed it.

“I see,” he observed, amusedly, “So, then, Agent. What do you want?”

You frowned, and furrowed your eyebrows. What...what was he doing?

“I–I don’t want anything,” you replied, completely flabbergasted.

“Hmmm,” Carrillo began, “I don’t believe you. I think you want something.”

You raised your eyebrows at that. You’d never known the Colonel to be so bold.

“I want Escobar dead,” you quipped, “Same as you, I suppose.”

“Ah yes, I certainly want that,” Carrillo agreed, “But I want something else. Something that I imagine might be the same as you.”

You scratched the back of your neck, nervously, not sure where this was going.

“All right, Colonel, I’ll bite. What is it that you want?” you questioned.

Carrillo adjusted his position on the wall, turning so that he was facing you squarely. He looked you straight in the eyes before taking a deep breath, as if he was working up the courage to say something.

“You.”

You felt the air leave your lungs, Carrillo’s face was a puzzle laid before you but before you could say something else, you heard a deep, timbered voice calling your name.

You reluctantly turned around and saw Peña walking up to the both of you, you felt Carrillo shift beside you and let out a sigh, as if he knew something like that would happen.

“I was looking for you,” Javier mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear but you.

“So, you found me,” your voice was shaky after the Colonel’s admission, and you tried to control it “What?”

“Can we–uh–talk?” he said, and you looked back at Carrillo.

“Can it wait?” you pleaded.

“No,” Javier declared.

“I think I know what this is about,” Carrillo announced, and you frowned at him, asking with your eyes for him to elaborate. But he just stayed quiet, looking between you and Peña.

“What do you mean?” Javier huffed, “This is a private conversation that I need to have with her.”

“I think we all need to have this conversation,” Carrillo mumbled, looking at the ground for half a second before returning his gaze to you and Javier.

“What are you two on?” you asked, frantically, “I am so confused.”

Javier glanced at the Colonel, at the way he was all but shifting around like a nervous kid. He realized Carrillo moved like he was hiding something, like he had a secret he so wanted to confess.

“Do you know something?” Javier questioned him, furrowing his brow. The Colonel turned to study him and there was a small moment in which they said nothing, and their eyes just locked.

And there, Javier saw him, as he was. Colonel Horacio Carrillo was an honorable man, everyone knew that, but as he was honorable he was dark, and Javier had a small suspicion of what he knew and was badly hiding.

Javier felt himself smirk at the man and Carrillo smirked back, and Javi knew it. Because he never misses things like that. For him is like having a sixth sense, somehow enhanced by his career and his experience. He just knows. Javier had never been indifferent to men. After all, being honest with himself, he had a little crush on Steve before he saw the wedding band. And Carrillo was… just his type. He never thought he would have the chance to even get closer to the Colonel like that. In the end, the time was not right and he was quite sure Carrillo wasn’t like that.

Clearly, he had been mistaken.

“Okay you two, I’ve had enough,” you grumbled, “What is going on? I’m sick of these games.”

“This is not a game,” Carrillo said, finally looking at you, you felt your frown get deeper.

“Then what is it?” you demanded.

Javier shrugged and took one last look at Carrillo, as if to confirm his consent, and replied.

“An arrangement,” he deadpanned, “With both of us.”

“If you want it,” Carrillo added, quickly.

You shot up from the wall you were sitting on and turned to glare at both of them. Javier put his hands on his waist and leaned on a leg, and Carrillo stood up as well, clasped hands in front of him, just waiting for you to say something. Anything.

Javier glanced nervously at Carrillo from the corner of his eye, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. I hope this is gonna go how you were planning, Carrillo, he thought, Because if it doesn’t and she refuses to speak to me again after this...I swear to god–

“Where did you get this idea?” you blabbered, feeling the sting of nervousness and insecurity settling into your stomach. Along with something else in your lower belly you refused to acknowledge at all.

Javier sighed, and shook his head.

“Steve Murphy has a big mouth,” he murmured.

“Dios mío,” you exclaimed, “He told you both?”

“Well, he told me,” Javier said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know about our Colonel over here.”

Now it was Carrillo’s turn to look sheepish.

“No, he didn’t say anything to me,” Carrillo admitted, “I overheard the two of you talking the other day.”

“You eavesdropped on me?” you gasped, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Is nothing I say private?”

Carrillo at least had the grace to look ashamed.

“It was an accident,” he tried to assure you, “But–I don’t regret listening in. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you.”

You scrubbed your face with your hands, trying to figure out what you were going to do. It wasn’t that you were–unhappy–more so embarrassed. You’d been carrying this secret for a long time now, and to have it so out in the open made you feel more exposed than ever. And you hated the feeling.

“I’m gonna need a minute,” you said, “Can we talk about this later? I need some space.”

Without waiting for a response, you briskly walked away from the police base and in the direction of the city. You weren’t sure where you were going or when you were going to be back. All that you knew was that your privacy had been massively violated, and you needed some space to collect yourself. Alone. And perhaps when you had calmed down, you could think about Carrillo and Peña’s proposal, like a functioning adult. But right now, you were too embarrassed (and aroused, let’s be real), to think straight.

Javier turned aside to look at Carrillo when your figure had disappeared into the city.

“So,” Javier broke the not-so-awkward silence, “Are you okay with this?”

Carrillo huffed at the question and glanced at the agent, noticing in him things he hadn't noticed before.

“Are you?”

Javier felt his stomach drop at the Colonel’s question… interesting.

“I’m all in,” he replied, smirking at Carrillo.

“Yo también.”

**Scene Break 3**

It was later in the afternoon by the time you had calmed down enough to return to work. You couldn’t believe what had happened today. You absolutely wanted to smack Steve. What you had told him was in confidence, and he had broken that trust. But you couldn’t deny that you were happy with the result. The idea of having even just one of those two men was enough to get you going, but both?

Men like them?

The pool of arousal was already forming in between your legs.

You could not deny how much you had wanted this, and how much you had been dreaming about it. And for a very long time. For god’s sake, you had lost sleep over this shit. It made you feel dirty, filthy, unprofessional. But you just couldn’t help it. You’d done a decent enough job of keeping your feelings in check, but now the cat was out of the bag.

And not only did these two men know how you felt. Apparently, they felt the same way. And for some godforsaken reason, they wanted you.

Were you really going to say no to an opportunity like that? Were you truly that stupid? No matter how much you were angry with Steve.

Connie would lose her shit when you'd call her to tell her about her husband’s work.

You walked into the bullpen and saw the office door opened, the first thing you saw was Javier’s face buried inside a file, his posture rigid and his hands grasping at the folder as if it were a lifeline.

He looked up and his eyes went wide when he saw you walk in.

But then you saw Murphy, sitting like nothing had happened and you saw red. You rushed at him and without a word your hand flew and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“What the fuck?” he yelled, and you heard Javier laughing behind you.

“You asshole,” you hissed, “Exactly what made you think it was a good idea to tell him? I trusted you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Excuse me,” Steve groaned, rubbing the back of his head, “I did you a fucking favor. I got tired of hanging around with you two idiots, just looking at each other and not saying shit.”

“You should not have done that,” you growled, fixing him with what you hoped was your most intimidating glare.

“Perhaps not,” Steve shrugged, “But I don’t regret it.”

“Can I–say something?” Javier asked behind you.

“No. Shut up.” you hissed without looking back at him.

“You do something like this again, and I’ll kill you,” you threatened Steve before storming out of the base, and into the parking lot. You sat in the driver’s seat of your car and banged your head against the steering wheel. You had had every intention of finding Peña and Carrillo and taking them up on their offer, but now all feelings of boldness had been once again replaced by shame and embarrassment. No doubt you were the talk of the police base, what with your massive crush on two of your colleagues.

Although you knew it was irrational, you couldn’t help but feel as though Carrillo and Peña were making fun of you. You knew it was stupid. Both of them were grown-ass men. They wouldn’t be so immature. If they didn’t like you at all, they would have just left you alone. But you just couldn’t help the raging insecurity you were feeling. Perhaps if you had actually told both of them, directly, how you felt, rather than let Steve Murphy do the hard work, then maybe you wouldn’t be feeling this way.

But that was all water under the bridge now, you supposed.

Later that night, you were heating up a pitiful TV-dinner in your apartment, not feeling up to eating, but you needed something, when your phone rang. You froze with the fork halfway to your mouth. There were only a handful of people who had your landline number, and even then, only a few of those people would have the guts to actually call it. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.

Sighing, you trudged over to the phone and lifted the receiver to your ear.

“¿Sí?” you asked, quietly, and you heard the low voice of Colonel Carrillo on the other end.

“It’s me,” he said softly, “You left work rather abruptly. I called to see if you were fine.”

“As fine as I can be, given the circumstances,” you grumbled.

“I’m sorry that things transpired the way they did, truly,” Carrillo mumbled, sounding genuinely apologetic, “But I meant it when I said I don’t regret finding out.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” you snarked, “You’re not the one whose colleague breached her trust.”

There was a pause before Carrillo spoke again.

“Do you regret it?”

Now it was your turn to pause, contemplating your words and how you would respond. You didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, you wanted to make it clear that you weren’t pleased with the means---even if the end was fantastic.

“I regret how this started,” you replied, slowly, not trusting yourself to say anything further.

Carrillo hummed over the line, contemplating your words.

“I can’t blame you for that,” he said, “But forget about Steve for a moment, please. Have you thought about it?”

You inhaled and held your breath for ten counts, trying to calm down your racing heart. You couldn’t deny that just the mere thought of being in the same room with these two men, especially in a non-platonic setting, was difficult for you.

“I think you know the answer to that, Colonel. You aren’t stupid,” you quipped, “Have you discussed this with Peña? I must admit, I am surprised at you both. This doesn’t seem like something either of you would be interested in.”

“We’ve discussed this, absolutely,” Carrillo said, recalling the deeper conversation he had with Peña earlier that day after you had slapped Steve, “I think we’ve both surprised ourselves, if I’m being honest. But if the attraction is there, it’s there. But I want you to know, there is no pressure. This only goes as far as you want it to go.”

You frowned at that.

“What do you mean?” you pressed.

“Querida,” he sighed, “What happens between the three of us–well–Peña and I know where we stand–it’s up to you now. If you don’t want this, then just say the word. We’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”

You took a shuddering breath and tried to respond as best as you can.

“I–”

“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” Carrillo interrupted gently, “Think about it. Make sure it’s what you want. Then you can let us know.”

“I–ok,” you stuttered, for lack of a better response.

“I should leave you to your evening. But think about it, and let me know what you decide ,” Carrillo said, “Have a good night, querida.”

“Sure, good night, Colonel,” you mumbled, hearing the click on the other end, indicating that Carrillo had hung up.

You passed the rest of the evening in relative silence, going about your mundane business with an extra air of heaviness. Slowly you could feel the embarrassment from the day give way to desire. As you lay by yourself in your bed, clutching at your pillow, you couldn’t help the acute sense of loneliness that you felt. After all, you hadn’t really had anyone before you came to Colombia, and your job here certainly killed whatever chance of having a relationship you might have had. It was why you had so easily fallen for both of your colleagues.

You were lonely. And they were lonely too. But it wasn’t just out of loneliness. You’d seen what Peña was like when he just wanted to have a warm body next to him. Just as it had taken courage for you to confess how you felt to Steve, it must have taken just as much strength for Carrillo and Peña to admit the same to you. This wasn’t going to be a one time thing–born out of isolation and tragedy–it would be something much more meaningful than that. You could feel it.

You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was just past midnight. Although you knew that Carrillo usually stayed up late, you didn’t want to bother him, so you dialed the number of the only other person who you knew would be up this late.

“Hello?” Javier Peña gruffed on the other end, clearly annoyed at having been woken up.

“Javier, it’s me,” you said, by way of greeting. You heard some rustling of bedsheets, no doubt Javier was fully awake now.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concern coloring his tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him, “I just–I’ve thought about your offer. Yours and Carrillo’s.”

You heard a sharp intake of breath over the phone.

“And what do you say, cariño?” he questioned, hope ringing in his voice.

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“Yes. I’m saying yes.”

**Scene Break 4**

You sat inside Javier’s car, silently, as he drove the two of you through the streets of Medellín towards Carrillo’s address. It was a Friday–exactly a week from when Carrillo had overheard you talking to Steve, and you were completely floored at how your life had changed that fast. You didn’t regret anything though, not one bit.

You were nervous though. Having one of these men was enough to make you swoon, but both? You weren’t sure what was going to happen. All you knew is that it would be a fantastic night. You just hoped that you could keep up.

A hand on your knee brought you back to the present, and you glanced over to see that Javier was eyeing you out of the corner of his eye as he drove.

“Relax, cariño,” he ordered, “It’s just us.”

You laughed.

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about,” you said, jokingly. But Javier wasn’t having it.

“Why would that make you nervous?” he asked, turning to face you when you had stopped for a red light.

“You two are my friends and colleagues,” you stated, “I don’t–want to disappoint you. Especially since we will have to go back to work after the weekend.”

Javier shook his head and pressed down harder on the accelerator, hoping that if he got you to Carrillo’s place faster, you’d stop your fatalistic thoughts.

“None of that,” he grumbled, shutting down your line of thinking as quickly as he could, “What happens between us tonight stays between us. That’s it. No pressure or expectations. Just enjoy yourself, okay?”

You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak. And thankfully, you didn’t have to say anything because you and Javier finally pulled up in front of Carrillo’s house. It was a much larger property than you had expected, with a beautifully-kept lawn and a mango tree just at the front of the house. It was a stunning place to live, and the thought that Carrillo had been staying there alone, with nobody to share it with, for the past several months just left you heartbroken.

Well. That was likely about to change tonight.

“You’re still sure, cariño?” Javier asked, taking your hand in his and staring at your knuckles, “If you’ve changed your mind, I can drive you back now. No questions asked.”

You shook your head.

“I’m completely sure, Javi. Don’t worry,” you assured him, and Javier nodded.

“Bueno,” he mumbled, “Let’s go.” And with that, the two of you walked up the path to Carrillo’s front door and rang the bell. Carrillo answered almost immediately, face relaxing at the sight of you.

“I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the place,” he greeted, stepping back to allow the two of you to enter his house.

“I have some wine if you would like,” Carrillo suggested, leading you and Javier into the kitchen after the two of you had kicked off your shoes.

Carrillo walked straight to the fridge and took out what appeared to be a pretty expensive brand of wine, but neither you nor Javier said anything in regards to it. Instead, you both sat down and exchanged a series of fugitive glances at each other.

You thought you needed the wine, the bitter, strong taste of alcohol to run through your veins in order to be able to process the moment in its entirety. But suddenly, as you glared at both Javier and Carrillo, there was no need for anything else. No liquid distraction to be drunk beforehand, no ridiculous and meaningless pleasantries or comfort words. You knew those men. You trusted them with your life every day when you went out there on the streets, and you trusted them just as much now. Their mere presence was sufficient to relax you and ease the tension, although you thought they would both agree that the tension was thicker than you could’ve imagined.

“I trust you both, and I care about you both, so damn much.”

It came out of the blue; you weren’t even sure you thought about it in your mind, and yet you said it nonetheless, standing up. Both of them seemed a little surprised by your impromptu confession, but patiently waited for your continuation, if there was any to begin with.

“What I mean is… why make this harder on ourselves? Why bother with small talk and awkward conversations when we can just… do it, enjoy the night?”

Javier was the first one who smirked. And of course he would, he was probably used to a lot of those moments, or similar ones, and had almost no issue baring it all, you thought. You swore, for a brief, almost too rushed moment, that you saw Carrillo hesitate with saying something and averting his eyes from both you and Javier, but you brushed it off. Instead, he looked tall and mighty at you, as his official position required, and smiled gallantly at you.

“You are the one in charge tonight,” he told you.

Simple, yet effective.

From the moment you heard that sentence, it did something to your ego. It gave you an unexpected boost of confidence, it sparked a desire, a flame so bright and hot you wouldn’t have believed it to be true in any other situation.

You took a few steps closer to Carrillo, all the while having Javier watch the scene unfold from the kitchen entrance. He stood up when you did, out of some long-forgotten courtesy that he didn’t used to care about anymore, and he just knew where it was all headed. He recognized the look in your eyes, the longing on your face. He knew what it meant, how much it must’ve consumed you, and he felt oddly enticed and captivated by it.

Just as swiftly as the night began, Carrillo’s hands rested on your waist while he kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he only brought you closer to him; his lips tasted surprisingly sweet, with just a faint tint of nicotine. Your chest was pressed against his, warm clothed skin found yours and you shivered against him. His hands gripped your waist as if saying farewell to them and he slid them up your body. You could feel Peña’s eyes fixed in your bodies, staring at the scene, and when the Colonel broke the kiss to nibble at your neck, you opened your eyes to see him next to you; half-lidded brown deep eyes, an opened bottle of wine in one hand and his lower lip in the other. Your skin was burning, and you had barely been touched.

You smiled at him when Carrillo took your jacket off, Peña smirked and took a sip of wine directly from the bottle, careless about any pleasantries.

Carrillo’s wet tongue latched softly at your pulse point and ripped a low moan out of you, you closed your eyes again when his hands gripped your ass over the fabric of your jeans.

“Colonel, please,” you muttered, sighing as you felt his large hands had fun with your flesh and grip it after hearing the way you called him.

“Words, querida” he just replied, putting some distance between your wet skin and his lips.

“More,” you bit your lip, Carrillo smirked at you and you noticed the way his eyes darkened with desire in front of you. He turned to look at Javier, who was still standing at the kitchen entrance, palming his erection over his jeans.

“Bring that,” Carrillo said, pointing at the bottle, then slid his hand from your ass to the small of your back and guided you towards the staircase.

Between your hazed eyes and the cloud of lust that had begun to invade your mind you looked around Carrillo’s space and wondered how a man like him could live in a place that big. You smiled to yourself when he put his hand on the small of your back and soon enough Peña caught up to you, you felt his ever so imposing presence behind you.

Carrillo opened the door to the bedroom and pushed you softly inside.

You didn’t even have time to take your surroundings in when you felt a pair of warm hands find your hips and a set of lips grazing at your earlobe. Your eyes closed by themselves and the sweet, strong smell of Javier’s cologne invaded your nostrils as he pulled your back flush against his chest.

“Sh–shit,” you let out, half a whisper, half a moan, when you felt Carrillo’s hands roam around your waist.

You were losing yourself between the touch of the two of them, you shivered when Carrillo cupped your breast as Javier nibbled at the skin of your neck, from behind, you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to do whatever–the–fuck he pleased with your neck.

“Mírate, chiquita,” Carrillo whispered, you felt his breath on your lips and when you re-opened your eyes you saw him inches away from your face “you’re already wrecked.”

You felt Javier chuckling against your flushed skin, and you bit your lower lip, bringing a hand to the Colonel’s nape to pull him closer and kiss him again.

One of Javier’s hands found itself under your shirt, his mouth was moving and his other hand pulled softly at your shirt over your shoulder to find more skin to lick and kiss. Carrillo found the hem of your shirt and broke the kiss to look at you, as if asking for permission and reassurance that you wanted what he wanted. Javier watched the silent exchange and smirked against the skin of your shoulder, he gave it a last brush of his mustache and a last kiss before you nodded to the Colonel and he helped you out of the garment.

Carrillo smiled to himself when he saw what you’ve been hiding under it, a black, only-lace bra that showed the shade of your nipples, you bit your lip again when you took in his disheveled figure, his notorious erection under his military green pants that made the pool between your legs grow.

“How are you this fucking beautiful?” Javier muttered behind you, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses behind your ear to your nape.

Your breath hitched when Carrillo kneeled in front of you and you felt your chest heaving with desire when his large fingers dextrely unbuttoned your jeans and his thumbs hooked on the hem. He looked at you again and you nodded for a second time. Javier looked over your shoulder at the Colonel slowly sliding your jeans off your hips then your legs and he left his hands roam around the now naked skin of your torso. Your hands landed on the back of his head, and he took the hint, attacking the skin of your neck once again.

Carrillo threw your jeans away once he helped you out of them and you moaned loudly when his lips grazed against your knee. One of your hands dropped to grab Carrillo’s head as his trail of kisses moved up, up, up until he reached the soft skin where your thigh and your hip joined. You were sure he could smell your arousal, you were sure he could feel it at that point and you didn’t care, for once you let yourself only feel and let all thought out of your mind while you felt two mouths, two men, take care of you.

There was no hesitation from Javier’s side as his fingers gently grazed up your spine, expertly unclasping your bra, taking in the image of the straps loosening on your smooth skin. He was damn near panting at the mere sight, but he had to remind himself that that was only the tip of the iceberg. The moans you were letting escape your mouth as Carrillo pressed gentle kisses on your inner thighs aided him in no way. He felt himself get harder and harder and fought off raging instincts to turn that moment into another one of his one-night stands.

Javier made sure he tasted your skin while he took the straps from both sides between his fingers and slid them off your shoulders, he felt you shivering under his hands and over Horacio’s mouth and you could feel the smirk on your skin, once the bra came off, Javier took your chin and moved your head to face him, he pressed his mouth on yours, his tongue hungry for your scent, invading your cavities and feeling your warmth rush through his body with the speed of light. Everything about your scent was intoxicating and consuming, and ever so addicting that he could barely find it in himself to stop.

But then his calloused hands found your breasts and oh–oh, shit.

That first squeeze, tantalizingly slow and powerful, took you out completely. You gasped, and you weren’t sure if it was Horacio’s warm breath in between your legs or Javier fondling your breasts, but you embraced the overwhelming effect both had on you. Javier squeezed again, and moved around to locate the sweet torture of his mouth onto your nipples, taking one in his mouth whilst his thumb moved over the other one, twisting it in between his fingers as he nibbled at your skin. His tongue left a glistening trail as he peppered kisses in between your breasts, moving up your sternum, collarbones and neck and focusing on one particular spot that seemed to drive you wild. So much so that you reached behind your back to grab a handful of his hair, pull him in closer however you could.

“Lay her down, Peña,” Carrillo cooed, and the man followed suit.

You saw the Colonel untuck his shirt and take it off while Javier kneeled on the bed and helped you lay down on it, the softness of the sheets embraced you and the coldness made you whimper softly.

It was a premiere for him to witness Javier Peña, of all people, being so submissive and attentive, but he had other matters to focus on at the moment. His mouth left your already glistening and plump lips to grab the bottle of wine, your eyes followed him as you felt Carrillo’s hands spread your legs open and kiss the inside of your legs again, Javier came back to the bed and kneeled next to you, his hand gripping the bottle and the other cupping your face, he smiled softly at you and took a sip from the bottle; you moaned when Carrillo’s hands worked to get you out of your lace panties and Javier leaned down to you, the hand that cupped your face moved to your chin and he opened your mouth with his thumb, letting the wine pour from his mouth to yours, the wine was warm and it tasted sweet, when you closed your mouth and swallowed, Javier’s thumb grazed your lips and you heard a hard pant next to you, you turned to see Carrillo’s lusted face, you gave him a soft smile and he all but threw himself to you, kissing your mound, you moaned again and Javier leaned back, bringing the chilled bottle closer to your body, letting the tip of it graze against your warm skin, between the cold sensation and Carrillo’s lips tasting you, you were about to scream, Javier looked at you, smirked and pour some of the wine all over your breasts and abdomen, immediately reaching down on your again to lick the liquid off. A bit of the wine had traveled down your abdomen to your lower belly and found its way into Carrillos mouth, the feeling of the cold wine and their tongues made you growl. You had two pairs of equally sinful and skilled lips teasing and licking deliciously well over your exposed skin, and you had half of mind to grab either one of them and get to business. You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so aroused, but it was all a masterful torture and all for a good time. If anyone else was allowed to have their downtime, why shouldn’t you?

It was somewhat futile to even attempt to please either one of the men in return; their own pleasure seemed to be revolving around yours and they were both doing such an incredible job out of it that you had a hard time trying to keep track of where did the waves of pleasure come from anymore. It was all one big tsunami of feelings, from overstimulation to lust and appreciation and love in some form.

Carrillo continued his ministrations while Javier licked the remains of the wine from your body, his tongue traveled to your sternum and he took a nipple on his mouth ever so briefly, then he stood up and quickly undressed, not bothering to be cool about it, he just threw his clothes to the floor while he looked at Horacio have the time of his life between your legs, you let out soft moans and whispers and while Javier took off his jeans he saw your hand grip Carrillo’s hair as your hips hatched against the Colonel’s face. You felt his tongue flicking your clit and he pushed a thick finger inside you, curling it around, building you up and throwing you off the cliff with the same force he had put you there. You came on his mouth with his name on yours.

As you laid on the bed, legs spread for Carrillo as he helped you ride off your orgasm, Javier kneeled back on the bed next to your face, his hand snaked its way around your neck, gently grabbing both sides and helping you take his erection in your mouth, which you were more than happy to do. You could tell he was somewhat tensed: he was doing his absolute best to control his motions and to keep it at a normal rhythm, but the more you involuntarily groaned as Carrillo began to glide his tongue across your slit once again, building up your second climax, the more Javier was slowly losing bits and pieces of himself. Within seconds, you could just tell you weren’t gonna last long, but neither would Javier as he picked up the face and jerked his hips forward more and more, thus obliging you to take more of him in. You couldn’t explain it, nor find any logic behind the action itself, but you swore you felt his release in Javier’s impatient thrusts and, sure enough, mere seconds later, he finally came, grunting as ropes of his seed dripped down your jaw.

Your moans returned when Carrillo added two fingers to his mouthy torture over your clit, and you felt like you could explode. Not long after that all-too familiar gut feeling, that almost persistent desire to burn, you came for a second time, eager to jerk your hips forward and meet as much as you could of Carrillo’s tongue, but this time, the man’s grip over your thighs was impossible to break. He held you in place ever so expertly and ate you out like you were his favorite five course meal, soaking up every ounce of juice that you provided him with.

You temporarily lost feeling in your arms as you tried to raise them to make at least Javier pay attention, but words also failed to leave your abused mouth.

“Que buena chica,” Carrillo said from somewhere down below. (What a good girl.)

Your brain didn’t register what he said properly. All you could feel was a fire so intense, so vivid, you nearly saw stars. And something told you that was only the beginning.

And you were proven right.

In the momentary lack of physical touch, you thought about the moment itself, having two of the strongest, most desirable men eager to please you–simultaneously, might you add–and the more you thought about it, the more it threw you off completely. Why? You weren’t really sure. Perhaps it was the idea in the back of your mind that you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of that. Or them, really. The activity hadn’t been exactly on your to-do list over the past few years and yet now, you couldn’t have thought of a better way to figure out your feelings for them, and to spare time.

The freshly acquired ecstasy was not only enthralling, but efficient as well.

After your second orgasm at Horacio’s ministrations you saw him between your lusted, narrowed eyes, undress completely, Javier was next to you, trailing his fingers up and down your wet torso–wet with wine and his saliva, what a fucking thought– while the both of you saw Carrillo take the remains of his clothes off and took in his lean figure, Javier smirked when he saw him whole and thought to himself the things he would do to the man if he had the time.

Javier wrapped his arms around your waist and helped you roll over to the side to face him, licking his bottom lip in the process and made sure you watched as he did so. He had been eyeing you up and down the entire day, whether clothed or not, and every glance he threw you, ever so dark and desirable, filled with subtext and desire, made you weaker and weaker, just like Carrillo’s touches were.

You reached his face and took his lips in yours, his tongue slid inside your mouth and as he explored the insides and his hand grabbed fistfuls of your ass, you felt the bed shifting behind you, and another hand snaked from behind and found your breast, you were being pressed against and between two bodies and the wam of them was driving you insane, when Carrillo’s fingers played with your nipple you bucked your hips forward and you felt Javier’s erection graze at your lower belly. Javier moved his hand from your ass to your thigh and then he let it slide to your pussy, you bucked your hips backwards and you felt Carrillo’s erection graze at your ass.

“How are you still this wet, bonita?” Javier asked, while his fingers found themselves between your lips.

“Don’t you know the answer by now, Javi?” you muttered, feeling the way Carrillo’s mouth found your shoulders.

You glanced at him and Carrillo the same way Javier looked at you and you understood in an instant why he always preferred to be that way. It was enticing, addicting and sinful, just the way he was.

And by the looks of it, Colonel Horacio Carrillo was no saint either.

“How do you want this to go, chiquita?” Horacio asked behind you as you moved your leg up to allow Javier’s fingers to find a way inside you.

You sighed. Why was he asking you that question when you weren’t even sure something like this would happen? For a brief, brief second you wanted to hide, just grab your clothes and hide. But you found yourself sandwiched between the men that you most desired and you just couldn’t waste this opportunity for the life of you.

So you rummaged around your deepest, filthiest fantasies you’ve had when everything had just been a sinful dream, a product of your lascive thoughts giving into what you catalogued as your darkest secrets and desires and you found one you couldn’t stop think about after it had given you a stars–behind–the–eyes orgasm.

“I want both,” you muttered, feeling the way both men groaned at your sides, “both inside me, please.”

“You sure?” Javier asked, pulling out his fingers from your cunt and looking at the way they glistened, you nodded.

“Words, chiquita,” Horacio said and you turned to see him, he leaned down and stole a short, deep kiss.

“I’m a hundred percent sure,” you murmured against the Colonel’s lips.

“Let’s get you ready, then,” Javier whispered on your neck and you sighed when his fingers slid back into your slit, you closed your eyes when Horacio played your nipples around his fingers and then his hand roamed down your body, finding their way to your pussy.

“Déjame entrar,” Horacio said under his breath, Javier stopped moving his fingers inside you and you squeezed your eyes tighter when Carrillo slid two more fingers inside your cunt.

“Fu–fuck, fuck,” you gasped, Javier let open mouthed kisses around your face and the skin of your neck within reach while your walls tightened around their thick fingers.

“You okay?” Javier asked and you nodded a few times before your body relaxed and got used to the intrusion.

“Mo–move,” you pleaded, feeling Horacio’s mouth nibbling at your shoulder and your neck.

Javier and Horacio moved their fingers at the same time inside you, looking at each other as if marking a dancing pace. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as they moved in and out and curled their fingers in all directions inside you, making you moan and whimper and open up more for them as they somehow found an identical pace to torture you with.

“Eso, eso nena, lo estás haciendo muy bien,” Carrillo praised behind you, feeling the way your walls were giving into the attention and dilating around their fingers (That’s it baby, you’re doing great)

“Más,” you pleaded, rolling your hips against their hands “Más, más,”

They grinned at each other, Javier’s eyes landed on your face and took in the way your features quirked in pure pleasure. Their fingers moving at the same time, pacing in and out faster. Javier’s mouth landed on your shoulder and Carrillo only took in the lewd noise his and Javier’s fingers were making as they pulled in and out at a murdering pace.

“Oh, sh–shit,” you bit your lip and tried to hide your face inside the crook of Javier’s neck but Horacio pulled you away with his other hand.

“We wanna hear you, querida.” he whispered behind your ear, you shivered again at the feeling of his warm breath and then it became too much, their fingers were covered in your arousal as you spread your legs impossibly wider as your throat began growling and your hands landed on both of them, digging your nails on their flesh. Javier hissed against your shoulder and Carrillo bit the skin of your mouth, both of them throwing you together from the cliff and your body spasmed between them.

“Oh my god, oh shit, fuck!” you screamed between their bodies and they slowed their pace to help you ride down your climax “please, please, fuck me, please,” you let out, almost desperately, eager to feel the same with them inside you. They slid their fingers out of you and you shivered again.

Your body was already a mess, after three powerful orgasms you were panting for air, the only thing you wanted was them inside you, you wanted to feel every ridge and every vein of them, you wanted; you needed to cum around them both.

“What is taking you so long?” you opened your eyes, quite frustrated at the lack of attention to your bodies, but the sight that you took in was otherworldly.

Carrillo had his fingers, his covered–in–your–arousal fingers inside Javier’s mouth.

“Fuck,” you let out, dropping your head on the mattress, looking at the way Javier grabbed Horacio’s wrist to keep his hand on his mouth and lick them clean of you while Horacio’s deep gaze took Javier in with a smirk adorning his face.

Horacio pulled his fingers out with a soft pop and they both looked at you, panting and brushing a nipple with your fingers.

“Next time you’ll have to put on a show for me,” you teased.

“You’re ready?” Javier asked, leaning down to kiss your temple, you looked at Carrillo and smiled at him as he licked his fingers.

“Very,” you replied, softly, your voice was already hoarse because of the moaning and screaming they had pulled out of you, they got comfortable on each of your side and you took a deep breath when Horacio lifted your leg and hooked it on his hip.

Javier was the first one to tease your entrance with the dripping head of his cock, when you felt it sliding up and down your slit you gasped and as he pushed himself inside you you grabbed his arm and licked any part of his skin available for you.

“Oh my god,” you cried out softly.

Javier was having a hard time staying still when your walls were warm and wet around him, his hands roamed around your body as Carrillo lined himself with you and him as well and then he pushed.

“Holy fucking shit,” you had close your eyes at the feeling of Horacio making his way inside of you, you breathed and panted and tried so hard to relaxe but they were thicker than their fingers and your pussy was clenching already around them. Javier took your hand and you squeezed his as both of them bottomed up inside you.

Horacio put his hands over the entanglement of yours and Javi’s and the three of you gasped and panted until your body stopped squirming between them and your walls stopped closing themselves at the feeling of two thick cocks making their way inside.

Javier had to close his eyes as well when he felt how your cunt clenched him tight closer to Horacio and he felt himself throb inside you, when he opened his eyes he saw you, open mouthed gasps leaving your body as it got used to being that full, and then his eyes traveled to Horacio, that buried himself in the crook of your neck, he supposed he was feeling the same way as him, trapped in a oh–so–tight hole with him.

“Move, move, move,” you all but begged, the initial sting of being filled like that disappearing and being replaced with the darkest, deepest, hottest desire you had ever felt, “fu–fucking move already!”

Horacio smirked against the skin of your neck at your demand and moved slightly to look at Javier, who nodded once and then, murdering pleasure; Javier pulled out and as he was thrusting slowly back in, Horacio pulled out and moved in as Javier moved out and you gasped and the air in your lungs left you for the time being as your cunt was filled with the two men you wanted the most.

It was pleasure delivered in a delicious swing of two hips rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth into you, making you impossibly wetter, incredibly hornier, and way too lost in the haze to even care about anything else.

The way that they were fucking you was shameless, the noises were lewd and your moans invaded the room as soon as they picked up the pace and kept driving into you at the same pace but in different directions.

Four hands caressed your body, two sets of lips nibbled at your skin, two tongues tasted the salty sheet of sweat that had covered your body, two thick cocks used your body at their will, making you want to explode; it was an eager combination of feelings and sensations pulled out of the most sensual, lechery, degenerated dreams you could ever had.

“Harder, please, pleasepleaseplease,” you panted out, gripping any skin and limb your hands could find. Your hips started rolling and rolling and rolling with them as they thrusted and pounded inside you.

“Mierda,” Horacio gasped behind you, biting at your skin, making you whimper.

“You’re so fucking tight, so fu–fucking good, baby,” Javier cried out as your pussy clenched around them and you absentmindedly rolled your hips harder.

It was an entanglement of limbs and wet skin, mouths clashing against skin, hands gripping and grabbing available flesh, a swing of bodies and a symphony of licks, kisses, hums, gasps, pants, begs and praises.

“Shit, sh–shit,” you panted harder and clawed at Javier’s arm when you felt the well-familiar tug on your belly of an incoming orgasm, you hummed and moaned and you felt lips in your ear, licking and nibbling at your earlobe, “I’m so close, más,”

Javier gritted his teeth when you demanded more and angled his hips to pound inside harder, Horacio followed his lead, dropping his hand on Javier’s shoulder for leverage. Carrillo’s touch burned in Javier’s skin and he felt his body stiffen with the feeling of his second release.

“Por dios, querida, me estás matando.” Horacio cried out behind you, feeling as well his body falling from the cliff. (My god, you’re killing me)

Javier’s free hand slid through your wet, glistening skin and his finger circled your clit slowly, you screamed his name, your legs buckled and your entire body squirmed with the sea of sensations your body was feeling and flooding with.

“Cum inside me, please, please,” you panted again, feeling the way your legs started to shake as both of their thrust became erratic and Javier’s finger kept circling around your bundle of nerves you exploded around them, gushing out and soaking them as your orgasm made you scream both their names.

“Mierda, querida, mírate,” Horacio grunted before he gave into the lustfulness of it all and came inside you and around Javier.

Once Javi felt the warmness of Carrillo’s release and the way you soaked both of them and his hand, he locked his hips with yours and spilled himself inside as well, gasping out your name.

“Ohmyfuckinggod,” you let out as a sigh, feeling your legs tremble with the strength of your climax.

The three of you stayed like that, joined, for a while. As your bodies relaxed you finally opened your eyes and saw the way Horacio’s hand was resting on Javier’s shoulder, wrapping you as well between them. Both of them breathing heavily, eyes closed, recovering from whatever the hell you had done was called. You sighed and smiled to yourself. If it weren’t for the four orgasms you had and the way your cunt was throbbing after the abuse and dripping with their seed, you wouldn’t believe it was real at all.

“How was that, cariño?” Javier asked, grazing a hand up and down your arm.

“That was–magnificent,” you gushed, not sure how else to describe that positively euphoric experience, “I think–you two have worn me out.”

Horacio chuckled and moved your head to press a kiss to your forehead, and shifted to allow all three of you to lie somewhat comfortably under the covers. You whined when they pulled out of you, solely because at the loss of them, you felt empty.

“Rest now, querida, we’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered into your hair, and that was all the permission you needed.

“We should–” you brought a hand to your mouth to cover a massive yawn, “–do this again sometime.”

After that, it didn’t take long before you had succumbed to the tempting pull of sleep. Horacio sighed and glanced over your shoulder at Javier, who looked rather worn out himself. Tenderly, Horacio reached over and brushed aside a small strand of hair that had fallen in Javi’s face.

“So, same time next week, then?” Horacio asked, giving Javier a lazy smirk, which was returned in kind.

“Yeah,” Javier mumbled, turning over to drape his arm around your way and bury his face in your neck.

“Absolutely.”

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[luna-rainbow]

Ok but the parallels between Bucky and all the NWH villains but particularly Norman and Otto though. While yes, Norman and Otto were much more willing participants in the events that led up to them becoming Doc Ock/Green Goblin than Bucky was in becoming the WS, all three men were forced into doing horrible things against their will, and were scared and horrified of what they had done once back in control. AND all three are good, kind people who immediately jump to help to protagonist once in control.

It's odd how both Otto and Norman were treated so well by the script, with no victim blaming (something I am thrilled by, since I love my sad boys and am very happy that they are (mostly) ok) but Bucky was given pretty much the opposite treatment. And I'm not really convinced that it's necessarily because of Sony's involvement in NWH as much as it is having people who actually like the characters as they are writing them.

From what I've gathered from interviews about NWH, everyone involved is big fans of not only the original source material, but also the other Raimi and Amazing Spider-Man movies. They genuinely like the characters they are working with and wanted to right by them. Whereas as we've all talked about, the interviews with Skogland and Spellman are pretty clear in their dislike of Bucky.

I think there's also an issue with Bucky in that I don't think Sebastian is the type of person to try to advocate super hard to have something changed even if he doesn't feel like it fits the character. Don't get me wrong, I love Seb, but I just don't think he's the type of person to really push the writers or directors to change something or to consider putting something specific into the story even if he feels it's right for the character. Meanwhile the NWH villain actors, who also have quite a bit seniority as actors, seem to have been involved much more in the creative process. Willem Dafoe basically told the director from the beginning, before they even had a script, that he wanted to have more to do than just a glorified cameo appearance, and he wanted to do his own stunts (which, damn, kudos to Dafoe for still being able to that sort of action stuff well into his 60s).

Idk, sorry for the essay lol, I just think it's interesting how two similar circumstances for characters but with very different executions ended up looking in the MCU.

Sorry for the late reply!

I completely agree. NWH comes from a place of such joy and love. It's clear how much the people involved had understood and respected the entire franchise, all the way back to Tobey's story. The entire story was an homage to who "Peter Parker" was, and that defining trait of holding himself responsible even when there's no one else around him.

I feel for Seb, you know. I mean, people are in the acting business for different reasons, but the sense I get from his interviews is that he really enjoys the story-making process, more than being the centre of attention or having cool scenes or having an escape from reality. He seems happy to choose roles that are unconventional, if he believes that story is worth telling, even if the role might be unpleasant or unsavoury or controversial.

Erm, that's just a rambly way of saying that I think Seb has a good read on stories and characters, so he's well aware of the deficits in Bucky's story. Him even saying aloud into a panel "I only heard about it 40 minutes prior" is pretty rebellious (for him), because it paints a pretty clear picture to avid fans of just how little scriptwriters cared about his and Steve's character arcs. This especially coming from someone whose default comment is "I just read out what the writers have written" -- which, as all Bucky fans know, is really unfair to what he (and partly Chris too) has brought to their dynamic.

But...Disney and Hollywood are big machines, you know, and Sebastian doesn't really have a lot of awards or hits to his name, which gives him very little bargaining power. At the moment, Bucky is the role he is best known for, and I think it's a double whammy of his opinion isn't considered important in the Marvel grand plan and him really not having much to use as leverage. I don't know if it's partly cultural as well, but his immense gratitude towards the MCU is more than I might expect from an American-born person.

Also we really don't know how hard he argued for the EG scene because even soft spoken in that panel, he sounded pretty unhappy with the way it was done. This is getting super rambly but it reminds me of the time when Letitia Wright remarked Sebastian hates stupid questions. And since then I've noticed he does get very offish in his answers to weird questions even if he never raises his voice or act abrupt. Together with the TFATWS stuntspeople saying he was surprisingly involved and specific about how he wanted Bucky to physically move -- we fans don't really know enough about his workplace dynamics to say how it went down. I feel like he does get irritated and frustrated with incompetence, and he might have argued harder than we give him credit for, but they'd drawn up their plan and they weren't going to shift around an entire movie for an insignificant side character like Bucky Barnes.

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

[jamlavender]

Hi! May I ask if you would be able to give some advice on how to manage rhythm when it comes to writing? I really enjoy reading your fics and would love to learn how to incorporate rhythm into my own writing (albeit academic) so it's more enjoyable

Firstly, sorry it took me such a long time to answer this ask. Secondly, I’m so flattered that you’d like my advice on this topic - though, to be clear, I am very much an amateur writer and am no authority on the craft! But I do think a lot about the rhythm of my stories and I can happily share my own thought process here, in the hope that it might be useful to you too. And for what it’s worth, writing so much fiction and trying to improve as a creative writer is the best thing I’ve ever done to improve my academic writing as well. So the ideas are absolutely transferable!

For me, the most important thing is to read everything aloud. It gives you a different perspective on the sound of the sentences and I can always tell when there’s a clause that needs to be cut or when a word is missing. Pay attention to when your mouth wants to end the sentence (and when it’s hanging there, because it needs more). I’d also recommend reading your work aloud several times: if you keep tripping over the same phrase or section, then that’s a good sign that the flow’s not right. 

Following that, read other work aloud! Great books and poetry almost always have perfect rhythm (that’s why they’re so pleasing to read and listen to!). Often reading your own work aloud only alerts you that something’s wrong; it doesn’t tell you what to do about it. That comes from reading work with excellent rhythm and slowly learning what that sounds like to the ear. Overall, I do think reading aloud is the most important thing: in John Gardner’s book The Art of Fiction, he writes at length about the specific details and techniques of writing with various metres, but then says that a good writer will do this all by ear. Only in dire circumstances do you need to mark the stresses on a sentence!

Vary your sentence structure. Gary Provost said this better than I ever could: 

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. 

Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important. 

So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader’s ear. Don’t just write words. Write music.” 

This is an important thing for me to keep in mind, because I love a long sentence!

Sometimes you need an extra word or clause just to make the rhythm work. Mostly, I try to cut out the ‘just’s and the ‘now’s, because they’re filler words and are lazy on my part. But sometimes you need that extra beat or two to make the rest of the sentence sound right.

Match the rhythm with the mood and character. This might be less relevant for academic writing, but in fiction, the rhythm you choose for a scene (or paragraph) is an integral part of the overall mood. If a character’s feeling relaxed, lazy; daydreaming by a river in summer, you might use long, drowsy sentences to capture the atmosphere. If a character’s struggling to think straight or is under immense stress, you might use sentence fragments. Short, regular sentences might work well for a character who is very logical and orderly, while longer, meandering prose might make sense for someone dreamier whose mind is often floating off on tangents. You get the idea. 

And lastly: get the rhythm of the final sentence right. That last sentence is the part of your work that readers are left with, and it’s so important that it leaves them feeling like the story is finished. If you get the rhythm wrong, you’ll leave your reader with a sense that there’s more to say but they’re not privy to it. Don’t do it! Make that last part perfect. 

So those are the rhythm-related things that I keep in mind while I’m writing. I hope that they’re useful to you (and sorry again for taking months to write them down!). :)  

[kittydemon9000]

Okay so once again, 3 am thoughts have gifted me with yet another au. It is by no means original but screw it: SmithSwap

The only things I’m switching is their ages, so now Nya is the older one, but it. Gets. Fun.

For specifics, as of the Pilots/S1 Nya is 15 and Kai is 11, because I want bebe kai

Now, prior to Wu showing up, it’s pretty much the same as canon only with roles reversed. Nya mostly runs the shop while Kai is trying to everything he can to make things easier for his big sister, and I mean everything. The only one Nya doesn’t stop him from doing is cooking because Kai is the better chef, though neither can figure out why. Nya also likes to tell Kai stories of their parents since he can’t remember them too well, much to his disappointment.

ANYWAY, Wu shows up, Kai gets upset he’s insulting his sister’s work, then Skulkin show up. Kai does get snatched, much to Nya worry and canon continues.

Okay but also tiny spinoff, it also would’ve been hilarious if Nya still got kidnapped because then when the guys meet Kai they’d be like “who is this sassy lost child?”

So then while Nya’s training, I’m actually going to say what happened when Kai is captured.

You see, a side affect of being really freaking old is that your perception of time changes, specifically how long periods seem shorter. Garmadon decided that because of the prophecy it would be best to snatch the Master of Fire, who he thought would be Ray.

So you can imagine his surprise when his Skulkin bring in a kicking, screaming 11 year old child.

He is, understandably, not happy and very confused.

He sends the Skulkin away and tries his best talking with Kai. Like, as little malice as he can in a gentle voice, and he actually learns a few things. 1) both Ray and Maya went missing years ago, 2) these kids have no idea about anything regarding the Elemental Masters, 3) Kai’s sister has been raising him since their parents went missing, and she’s only four years older than him

Understandably, he is concerned, but also sees this as an opportunity. If he raises the Master of Fire to be loyal to him, then he’ll never want to fulfill his role in the prophecy, thus ensuring his victory. also he really misses lloyd and now when he returns he’ll have two kids!!! how amazing is that

So yeah Kai’s stay in the Underworld isn’t that bad. This Garmadon guy is pretty nice, tells him awesome stories about his parents, teaches him a bunch of things(mostly how to fight), and really just acts like the paternal figure he never had(Garmadad is canon, no matter what form you can fight me on this). The only part that sucks in Samukai, but he’s just a jerk and Garmadon makes sure he’ll never actually do anything to hurt him. He does miss Nya a lot though.

Anyway back with Nya and the guys.

They don’t actually know the exact reason why she was here at the beginning. All they know was that Wu originally left for the Master of Fire and came back with her instead. They know she has a brother, but aren’t quite sure how he falls into it.

They learn her full story the night they’re heading to the Temple of Fire, at which when they’re winding down Zane brings up how she never actually told them how she met Wu.

They are very concerned when they find out the whole story and swear they’ll help her get him back, which is nice.

Then she sees Kai But Actually Garmadon, follows, and bam Sword of Fire time. She isn’t able to fully use it, but she’s able to get a few sparks. However, things then start to take a turn for the worst.

Kai is actually here, very confused why Garmadon’s having him tied to the ceiling, but hey Nya’s here! But then oh no he then realizes that Garmadon is the bad guy, which gets him upset and more then a little betrayed.

Seeing him hurt his sister, the one of raised him, actually has Kai pick up the sword and use his powers. Under normal circumstances, it probably wouldn’t have been bigger than a few sparks, however Kai has his big sister in danger, dealing with the betrayal of an almost father figure, holding the Sword of Fire, and being surrounded by his element.

So yeah. Not that small of a fire.

The guys and Wu are actually able to to witness the truly incredible fire blast he lets out from the camp, put two and two together, and start heading over. Wu didn’t follow Nya…..because plot and was the able to help them fight off the Skulkin.

Anyway, it’s more than enough to dissipate the shadows, however it also wakes up the dragon. Garmadon, who is sort of panicking because That Was Not Supposed To Happen, ends up scooping up an unconscious Kai and the Sword and retreating to the underworld, leaving behind a very pissed Nya and an equally pissed Fire Dragon.

But yeah, Nya deals with the dragon, they get the other ones and head to the Underworld with Wu this time, and he’s actually the reason they’re able to get past all the Skulkin. 

But yeah, Samukai gets vaporized and Garmadon about to leave when a feverish Kai makes his way in and begs Garmadon to not do it and that they can fix things.

And Garmadon….actually pauses for a second and you can see the conflict in his eyes before he shakes his head and says “there’s no going back for me” and walks through. Kai then collapses and the end up heading back home.

As for what’s up with Kai, who would’ve guessed tapping into a kind of power you aren’t supposed to have access to yet in a high stress situation would be bad for the body. He has a really bad fever but he’s fine after a few days.

The few month timeskip in between the Pilots and S1 is mostly spent training Kai, so they have quite a bit less free time. However when S1 starts and Kai hears about Lord Garmadon, he actually wants to check it out himself first.

So yeah, he meets Lloyd by himself and it actually doesn’t go that badly. Kai actually buys some candy for them to share and they leave the town, and Kai actually starts talking with him. Eventually the topic comes up about Garmadon and Kai gives a rough basis about how he sort of got kidnapped, and then his work in progress plan of making him good again. Lloyd is completely down with seeing his dad again and says how they could probably get his dads attention if their got their own evil army.

And because they’re both stupid kids, neither of which have had parents before, Kai thinks it’s a great idea.

So yeah. That’s why they find the Serpentine here.

Ofc, it isn’t a right away type thing. It takes them about a month before they find the Hypnobrai Tomb, and Kai just plays off all his time spent out as him having made a friend, which they can’t exactly argue with.

Ofc, canon still happens and when Kai was busy training Lloyd ended up finding the tomb and releasing the Serpentine, and they do their regular Canon Nonsense. 

However, Kai is not too happy about the whole Attack Villages things and after a bit comes clean to the ninja about their original plan. They very much aren’t happy, but admit his heart was in the right place and they doubt he’d pull something like this again.

Fast-forward a bit more, Kai is mostly chill with Zane’s “weirdness” and unfortunately stays home when the Hypnobrai burn down the Monestary. It’s only because the dragons were able to get out and protect him that he was still alive. Nya’s actually the one who yells at Zane this time around because again. Kai almost died, but it’s all cool later and they find the Bounty :D

Anyway, Canon again continues. Kai is still really good with the dragons and is a little upset they need to leave. He also gets along really well with Ed and Edna. Then when Lloyd joins Kai is a little….well he doesn’t hate him but he does spend a while avoiding him.

Eventually Nya has enough of their dancing around each other and locks them both in the same room so they can talk it out. Turns out the reason Kai was avoiding him was because Lloyd’s betrayal really hurt since they were supposed to do it to find Garmadon, not hurt people. They have a tearful apology, then Kai learns how much of a jerk the Serpentine were and is like “the next time I see any I’ll protect you, since you’re like my little brother and as a big brother it’s my job to keep you safe”

Now it’s Samurai Time :)

You see, this time around Kai has double reasons for being the Samurai. 1) Yeah, he hates being left behind and wants to be involved but also 2) he wants to keep his big sister and big brothers safe

So yeah, that happens. He does think it’s pretty funny when they keep trying and failing to one up him though.

But then :) He gets captured with Lloyd :)))

So yeah, that sucks but it only gets worse because while Kai was able to “summon” his Samurai Mech, he had to send it off to get the ninja away. So that sucks.

Garmadon eventually shows up to help since the Serpentine stole both his kids, much to Nya’s chagrin.

Then comes the freaking Volcano Scene and this one is from Nya when she rescues Kai, then has to choose between Lloyd or the Fangblade. She ends up unlocking her True Potential by essentially leaving behind all negative feels she had for Lloyd and accepting him under her protection just like she did Kai.

The sheer torrent of water easily cools all the lava and thoroughly soaks them. But hey, even Kai has to admit being wet is better than being burnt alive. Also when the ninja start wondering aloud why the Samurai didn’t help Kai bashfully admits he was the Samurai, and this thoroughly impresses the ninja since Kai is like, 12 at this point.

Uhhhh, S2 isn’t too different. Kai is super happy that the dragons are back and is easily Ultra’s favorite. He isn’t hit with either Garms spell nor the Tomorrows Tea, but is there to comfort Lloyd and says that even though he got hit with some magic stuff Kai is still going to protect him since he’s still his older brother. On the Dark Island Kai is heartbroken Nya got corrupted and swears he’ll help fix her. When Garmadon gets purified Kai looses his shit and gets so excited since let’s goooooo not only is his dad not evil anymore they can go out in public together :DDDD

S3, also not too different. During the whole Love Triangle nonsense Kai’s just sitting there so confused. Also Pixal joins team Kai’s Older Siblings. Him getting captured was just him being at the wrong place wrong time. He has a really fun time time in space though, which was nice.

But uh. Then Zane hecking dies, which hits everyone really hard, especially Kai. Only this time, Nya ends up taking Kai back to Ignacia and opens up the forge again, pretty much cutting all contact with the other ninja, Wu and Garmadon. While it might’ve been boring and lonely, at least in Ignacia they were safe. 

Kai is…honestly really miserable, but hides it well. He can barely get up some mornings, but does so anyway since he’s desperately trying to act like things are normal, despite how Nya doesn’t talk very much. He misses the other ninja a lot, even Pixal despite not knowing her for very long, but doesn’t want to tell Nya since again, trying to make things normal again. Nya also doesn’t let him out of the house too often, only really if she’s there to watch him.

This routine goes on for about two months, until Lloyd shows up to try and get everyone back together. And Nya.....Nya doesn’t like that.

She and Lloyd end up having a bit of a passive aggressive argument that is progressively getting louder until Kai just. Snaps.

He yells at them to stop fighting, how they’re acting so horribly and that he wished things could go back to normal, how Zane wouldn’t want this and that he’d be disappointed in them.

The two visibly flinch.

Then Kai realizes exactly what he just said and who he said it to. And he runs.

Nya and Lloyd both spend some time in silence, mulling over what Kai just said because he was right. Zane would hate what’s become of the team and how they separated.

Nya ends up being the one to break the silence, asking Lloyd where and when to meet.

When Kai doesn’t return from the woods, she ends up leaving a note before she leaves, explaining where she’s going and how she’s sorry.

Meanwhile, Kai is having a slight breakdown in a Tree Base he made years ago.

But yeah, fast forward a bit and Kai’s getting ready to sneak onto Chen’s Island, but in a slightly different way than canon. Instead he takes a slightly experimental ship that’s basically a smaller Bounty which he calls the Destiny’s Wish. Think of the comparison like a Car vs a Go Cart. Comfortably, it can fit 2 people long term, but for quick trips can carry as many as 10, but it’ll be a tight fit and the Wish might have some trouble flying.

So yeah, he’s on his own and he doesn’t arrive until a few hours before the EMs all get dropped from the plane. Shade is actually the one to find him first, but has a moment of pause since Literal Child and gives Kai enough time to kick him into a tree and run. The whole chase actually lasts about two hours but unfortunately Kai isn’t able to get back to the Wish and gets caught.

Now for the fun part :)

So all the EMs(and I do mean all because he wanted to “thank them for their contribution”) are in the throne room, their powers snatched, when Chen said aloud “But it is such a shame that we don’t have the Master of Fire, the we’d be able to complete the spell.” and for the briefest second the Ninja Fam are relieved but then Chen does a whole “SIKE, WE GOT HIM” and has some of the guards bring Kai out.

The Ninja are, understandably, freaking out. The EMs kinda are too since Child but only a little bit and it’s not personal

But then just as Chen’s about to snatch his fire, Kai starts saying how Chen cheated since Kai never got to play in a match. Chen refutes it since His Game His Rules but then Kai says that age old statement to get siblings to do Stupid Shit: “What are you, scared?”

Chen is not scared, thank you very much. And you know what, since you’re so confident fine, you now get your own challenge!

So yeah, now Kai has his own challenge.

What is it you might ask?

A vertical obstacle course with a time limit. If Kai doesn’t grab the Jade Blade, the exit closes.

Not that bad you might think. After all, Kai’s been training with the ninja for the past year, he’s probably got this in the bag.

Yeah welllllllll, a little bird told might have told Chen that a certain Master of Fire couldn’t swim.....so he uses Nya’s power to gradually fill up the room and forcing him up.

Surprise surprise, it was rigged against him. I’m talking platforms having false bottoms, ladders being oiled, high pressure water jets to knock him off, the works.

Kai is so close to making it. So close..... but Chen can’t have that happen now can he :)

So yeah, Kai ends up falling in and Nya almost drags all the EMs into the water trying to get him.

Luckily it’s at that moment Lloyd bursts in with Garmadon, frees the EMs and gets Chen’s staff. The EMs bust out and just as Nya’s about to dive in the whole thing starts draining, like an enormous whirlpool.

You see Chen actually thought ahead and realized that “hey, if the kid dies he’ll loose his power” so he made a plan that when Kai was going to fall in, he would use one of the tubes that shot water but in verse and suck him in. Luckily he was able to pull it off before the gem was smashed because if not MMM.

So yeh, Kai is now captured, but still on the island. Skylor reluctantly copies his powers(she got sort of close with Nya and this is the little brother she was gushing about), and Anacondrai happens. However, the two are able to escape, Skylor’s actually able to figure out the Summon Dragon thing, and then they head back to the main group.

Then comes the inevitable question of “how did you get here anyway?” and then Kai shows them The Wish. He actually ends up flying back with Garmadon before all the EMs learn how to Summon Dragon so they can warn people about the ensuing danger.

So yeah, they head out, the Pythor thing happens, canon then Sad because Garm still needs to do the whole sacrifice thing D:

That one hits Lloyd and Kai really hard, but they both use each other for comfort so it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been.

But yeah, this is getting long so tbc for a part 2 :DDD

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwynriel one shot

I wrote another fanfic before this one. Each can be stand alones, but I wrote this one awhile ago with the intent that this specific scene happens before the mate bond snaps into place for them. I like the idea of the necklace causing major drama, but I also think Gwyn is a levelheaded person which is where the inspiration for this scene came from. Enjoy!

Nesta had insisted on a dinner party for Gwyn's birthday. Gwyn hadn't wanted a celebration. This day had been one shared with her sister. The sister she had failed. She no longer found this day worth celebrating. She was not worthy of this day. Not without her sister by her side. She found she couldn't deny Nesta though. Not when her and Emerie bounced off chattering excitedly about the night they would plan for her. Even the house flickered with excitement.

Gwyn stared at her reflection. It was so different than what she was used to. She borrowed one of Nesta's more modest dresses for the occasion. It was still much tighter than her priestess robes and showed much more of her collar bone than her fighting leathers had. She left her hair down, mostly to cover the parts of her shoulders that the dress didn't. The final adornment to her ensemble for the night was the dainty necklace given by an anonymous friend.

Gwyn smiled at the memory of Clotho handing her the necklace. Gwyn hadn't realized why the piece of jewelry was important to her. Just that it was. The evening would be fine she reassured herself. She would not allow her thoughts to stray to Catrin. Catrin was gone and she had to accept that. Gwyn stifled a laugh at the memory of previous birthdays. Catrin was a notoriously bad gift giver and even though she knew Gwyn better than anyone, her gifts were never sentimental. One year she got Gwyn a book of songs which would have been wonderful if Gwyn did not already have that exact same book. A book that she had shown Catrin out of sheer excitement when she originally got it.

Gwyn found herself walking up the stairs to the house of wind. She stopped right outside the dining room. She just needed one moment to compose herself. A shadow whipped out as if to alert her of Azriel's presence. She smiled at the shadow before turning to the Shadowsinger. His face was unreadable per usual, but he was staring at her with a new sort of intensity.

"I just needed a moment before the chaos ensues." Gwyn felt the need to explain why she was staring at the door to the dining room. Azriel nodded his head in understanding. He knew better than anyone how overwhelming his family could be.

"Happy birthday Gywneth." He gave his normal smile as he said the words. It was the only smile he gave out. Could barely call it a smile considering it was the smallest upturn of the corner of his mouth. It was enough to ease the anxiety blooming in Gwyn's chest.

"Thank you." She planted a large smile on her face and opened the door to the dining room. She was immediately bombarded by her two best friends.

"I knew that dress would look amazing on you." Nesta smirked. Gwyn had outwardly refused the dress at first. Claiming it would not look half as good on Gwyn as it did on the more petite Archeron sister.

"You look beautiful Gwyn!" Emerie gushed. She looked as though she was going to cry and Gwyn couldn't help but poke fun at her.

"Are you going to cry, mother?" Gwyn's light jesting was returned with an elbow to the ribs.

"We are going to warn you now though, you can't open your gift until tonight. We are all sleeping in the library. I already have it set up for the three of us." Nesta was giving Gwyn the warm smile that always made her feel accepted. She had found a sister in Nesta. Their relationship was different than that of the one with her twin yet it made Gwyn's chest squeeze happily. Her relationship with Emerie was much the same. She knew tonight would be draining and wanted nothing else but to go to her room alone after this dinner. She never could deny Nesta and Emerie especially when they teamed up like this.

"Sounds fun!" She emphasized the words, trying to make herself sound excited.

"Happy birthday Gwyn!" Cassian shouted from where he stood across the room. He lifted his drink to her. Suddenly a wine glass appeared in her hand. She whispered her thanks to the house.

"Gwyn you look lovely!" Feyre walked over to give Gwyn a hug which was ultimately awkward since Nyx was resting on her hip and he just wanted to pull Gwyn's hair. Rhysand appeared next to Feyre. He also lifted his glass to Gwyn.

"Nesta demanded extravagance for you and I couldn't exactly say no. Only the good alcohol for tonight." He sent the priestess a wink. Once again the thought of her sister crowded her mind. Those thoughts were always ready to remind her of what she deserved. Good wine was not one of them.

"Thank you everyone. It means a lot." Gwyn made sure to make eye contact with everyone. She truly was grateful for the effort and she wanted them to know that.

"Well, let's eat." Amren drawled.

Rhysand wasn't joking when he said Nesta demanded extravagance. Her and Emerie had created such a feast that Gwyn couldn't control the shock etched on her face. The item that caught her eye was the fish. Parmesan crusted flounder. It was a rarity growing up the way that they did. Gwyn couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her.

"This was my sister's favorite! When we were younger they served this on special occasions and Catrin would pick it up whole and would pretend the fish could talk." The table had gone quiet. Probably recognizing that any discussion of her sister was taboo. That didn't seem to stop Elain from inquiring. Though Gwyn questioned how much anyone told her. From their few interactions, Gwyn gathered that there wasn't much information the girl was included on.

"Where is she? Your sister?" Elain was genuine. She wasn't trying to be malicious. No one had clued her in and Gwyn couldn't fault her for that. Nesta seemed to think otherwise though. The death glare she sent Elain would have had Amren feeling nervous. The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

"She, uh, died." Gwyn didn't like saying the words aloud. They made her feel her lack of control too completely. Elain bit her lip. She was about to respond when Gwyn's necklace seemed to grab her attention. The tension was so thick Gwyn thought she might be suffocated if she didn't try to relieve it.

"What was she like?" It was Feyre who finally spoke up. Gwyn didn't want to talk about Catrin. Not to people who openly judged Nesta for her perceived failings. She looked over to her two friends. Nesta was concerned, but Emerie was giving her such a soft, supportive look that Gwyn responded. She figured at the very least Nesta would never allow anyone to openly judge her.

"She was adventurous and ridiculously beautiful. We were opposites in almost all aspects. We couldn't go a day without fighting. But she was my person. We never really belonged any where, being part nymph, part high fae, we were shunned everywhere. But we always fit in with each other. We always belonged with each other." Gwyn closed her eyes. She was imagining Catrin's face, her smile. Catrin had always been the fun sister. Life was never dull with her. Gwyn was extremely aware that everyone was staring at her. She wished it would stop.

"The mini Pegasus would have loved her." Emerie said. Only the three best friends understood, but it made Gwyn laugh all the same.

"You still would have been the favorite though." Nesta sighed. She had tried to win the Pegasus over, but there was no swaying it from Gwyn's side. Luckily the conversation changed after that. Gwyn, Emerie, and Nesta were in a heated debate about which romance author was the best when Mor set a present in front of Gwyn.

"You didn't need to get me anything." A blush of embarrassment rose to Gwyn's cheek. The beautiful female was notoriously bad at gift giving which only made Gwyn more excited to open the gift. If only to pretend it was Catrin giving her the present.

"I promise you, you'll wish that to be the case once you see what's inside." Cassian smirked as Mor rolled her eyes. Indeed, the gift was unnecessary. Gwyn stared for awhile with pursed lips, perplexed, before responding.

"What is it?" Cassian, Rhysand, and Azriel howled in laughter while the rest of the table looked amused.

"It's enchanted shampoo. The smell never fades!" Mor looked so excited despite the amusement from the rest of the table. It reminded Gwyn so much of Catrin that it wasn't hard to find a genuine response.

"Thank you Mor. I love it." She sent her a small smile in hopes of appropriately expressing her gratitude for the present. Azriel placed something in front of Gwyn next. She looked at the Shadowsinger with surprise. She hadn't expected a gift from anyone, let alone the most closed off of the Illyrian males. She began to unwrap it when Elain spoke again.

"I hope it isn't another regift, Az. That would just be unoriginal." The words were spoken as a joke, but the intense stare the two shared had Gwyn pausing her opening. Most of the table sent the pair a questioning look. It wasn't until Elain glanced at Gwyn's necklace again did she understand what Elain had said.

The necklace around Gwyn's neck was meant for Elain, but for one reason or another Azriel had given it to Gwyn. Perhaps he actually intended the necklace to be given to Clotho who regifted it yet again to Gwyn. She didn't really mind one way or the other. She decided it didn't make much difference. Until this moment she hadn't even realized the necklace was from Azriel. She allowed herself to wish for only a moment that the Shadowsinger gave the necklace to her himself without it being meant for Elain originally. Now she would admit that the silent conversation between the two of them unnerved her in the slightest. Gwyn allowed a smile to curve on her lips.

"I hope it isn't a ribbon either. I would find that unoriginal as well." The joke did as Gwyn anticipated. Azriel chuckled along with Nesta, Cassian, and Emerie. Azriel hadn't thought of the potential backlash when he regifted the necklace to Gwyn. He had been holding his shadows back all evening. He didn't want his family to know the lack of control he had on them in Gwyn's presence. The second the joke left Gwyn's lips, his shadows danced toward her. He couldn't help but feel relieved that she wasn't upset. He quickly gained control of his shadows again and nudged Gwyn to continue opening the present.

It was a dagger. Gwyn smiled softly at it. To the rest of the group, it would appear to be a simple gift. It meant much more to Gwyn though than any necklace ever could. Azriel had spent many lessons going over daggers with her. They spent hours talking about different metals and styles and weight distribution. The dagger in her hand was perfect, exactly what Gwyn had discussed would be her preference in a dagger. She analyzed every inch of the dagger before coming across the engraving. She laughed a heartfelt laugh upon reading it.

"I know it's not a sword, but I couldn't think of any other name that best represent you." Azriel was giving Gwyn a true smile. She realized that was the true gift of the night. Seeing how beautiful his face looked when a full blown smile graced it.

Nesta threw her head back in a cackle while Emerie and Cassian groaned at the carving.

"What is its name?" Rhysand quirked one eyebrow while looking at Azriel. What could he have possibly named the dagger to elicit this type of response.

"Silver majesty." Gwyn stood from her chair and swung her arms around Azriel in a hug. It was an awkward hug considering he was still sitting down, but it had her heart beating faster and not all together unpleasantly. Azriel too found that the hug shot a thrill into his shadows. It had them curving around her in a hug as well.

"That is the most ridiculous name I've ever heard." Amren muttered as she gulped down her wine. Gwyn didn't care. She thought it was perfect. She realized in that moment, the dull ache left behind by the death of her sister lulled while the shadows danced around her.

[cinlat]

Interview with a Fic Writer

I was tagged by @swtorpadawan​​ (Thanks a bunch!)

I’ll tag @kunoichi-ume​​ @tishinada​​ @dimigex​​ @sleepswithvillains​​ @actualanxiousswampwitch​ @chivalin​​ and anyone else who wants a tag. Feel free to slap my name on it so I can read your answers too.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42 (I’m now unable to post anymore fics because it’ll mess up this perfect number)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

     923,873

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Family is more than Blood

Heart on a Trigger (the sequel to the above)

Echo of Evil (ffxiv)

The Lost Medallion

Odessen Files

Holy crap, Primal Appetites finally got booted out of the top 5.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do....even if it takes me a minute. I love reading the comments that come to my email, but since those usually reach me away from my computer, I tend to....forget until I log in to publish something.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That’s a tough one, but I’ll have to go with Soul of the Bes’bev. It ends with Fynta being forced to acknowledge out loud the lengths that she’s willing to go to, to the one person that she never wants to disappoint.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I mean...are we talking smut? Because all of those have happy endings. No? Okay then how about Shenanigans. This fic will always have a special place in my heart.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I have been known to dabble. The only one currently posted is SWTOR/Naruto crossover shared with @dimigex​ involving the disasters that are Fynta Wolfe, Theron Shan, Genma Shiranui, and Kakashi Hatake. The aptly named Tounge-in-Cheek

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

One person disagreed with my interpretation of Ma’at as a slave to her families’ expectations rather than a proper slave in Sithy Bunch, but I’d hardy call it hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do I write smut, haha. Yes, actually, I do. Mostly aggressive given my main subject matter. It is also playful or a way to express deep emotion that must never be spoken aloud because scary. There is lots of flirting, plenty of biting, and satisfaction for all.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense that someone specifically singled it out. Just that it’s shown up on websites without my permission.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have, it’s always a fun experience. Namely, Thunder and Scars with @kunoichi-ume​ and Rules of Engagement with @tishinada​

I also have several series where each of us writes a chapter and posts it into the same story with Ume, Dimi, and Tish as well.

13. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I’ll never get enough of these two. Art by the amazing @dingoat​

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Sadly, probably Generations of War, the continuation of Our Own that introduces Quinn/Sith Warrior and their 4, head strong and very Force sensitive daughters alongside Jorgan’s triplets. I love the story so much, but I have absolutely no idea where to take it. Waht I have published though can be found >HERE<

15. What are your writing strengths?

Action scene, without a doubt. I enjoy writing the flow of a battle or just movement in general.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

All the squishy, gushy stuff that makes of a romance. Legit, I struggle hard with feelings.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve written a lot of Mando’a into my fics. It was daunting at first, then became fun when I needed to figure out how to string something together to make phrase that wasn’t pre-generated by the online dictionary. 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Probably SWTOR

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet, but want to?

Gears of War. Man, I love those stories so so much, but I just...haven’t written anything for it. I reread their books once a year though.

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to have to say my Meet Me on the Battlefield series. I don’t even know how many years I’ve been working on this, but I’m into the final book (that I will finished damn it.) with a few in between novellas, if you want to call them that?

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

NOT A QUESTION ABT LORE but what r everyone's fave type of music / fav artists / etc . This is very important

oooooh this is a good question and i can probably not give it as good of an answer as it deserves because i grew up in a white evangelical community /neg and was basically not allowed to listen to anything but That Kind of worship music for the first like 14-16 years of my life. so since then i have been trying to figure out how normal-people listening to music works. i still haven’t really figured it out, i’ve just found a few artists that i like and i just kind of put them on repeat and am not sure how to go about regularly finding more new things i will enjoy. like. i listened to over 11,000 minutes of lil nas x last year. (which i am very proud of actually lol.) but like, that one artist was a full tenth of what i listened to the entire year.

[ask me questions abt the backstories/lore for my if you’re going my way, i’ll go with you fic]

answers in terms of general vibes below the cut, although i do not know enough about music as a whole to give really specific examples like u asked for i am sorry 😭 (if you have opinions on what they would listen to, you are Probably Correct and also I Would Like To Hear Them) (also cw allistic ableism mention):

so obviously virgil likes emo, because that’s the law when you write fanfiction with virgil in it lol /hj probably his tastes are a lot more expansive than just emo though. like you can tell that emo is kind of where he started out from, but he’s branched out a ton since his teenage years and he likes a bunch of different genres now.

logan i think likes anything that he can use as an audio stim. stuff with big loud strong rhythmic noises. technically i have not officially made him autistic in this fic but like. probably he is lol. im dragging my feet on talking about it in the fic a little bc,,, i feel like if random people in the fic’s universe find out he is autistic, they are definitely Super fast to draw incorrect connections between his supergenius power and the savant stereotype. which is gross and which logan haaaaates so much. i vaguely have a scene in my head of him like getting really annoyed by some ableist reporter talking to him on live tv and snapping that “actually i have only been a supergenius for 2/3 of my life. i have been autistic my entire life” but also like. ughhh i don’t want to put him through that. so im on the fence about talking about it in the fic or not. but yeah i think he really really likes audio stimming and is hyposensitive to audio in general (which also is part of why he likes to process his thoughts by speaking them aloud) so he likes music with lots of Noise in it.

patton mostly listens to Music Aimed At Little Kids. like disney soundtracks etc. plus anything child-appropriate that logan listens to, bc again, logan does not treat children that differently based on their being children and sees no reason to play entirely different music than normal when patton is around.

i don’t know what janus likes to listen to but i know it is very different from the like disney soundtracks and kidz bop or whatever that patton listens to (and that janus does also listen to because patton listens to it lol) (literally nobody is making them do this but they do it anyway and then complain about it a lot) (but only when patton is not around bc they don’t want to make him think they’re upset at him about it <3). possibly he is kind of snobby about his music taste? but like in a very oh-this-person-is-definitely-in-her-mid-20s way if that makes any sense (im not sure if it does). i have the least idea of what janus’s preferred music is tbh.

remus’s music taste,, again i don’t know what it is but i do know that you can Very Clearly tell that Oh This Man Is Extremely Mentally Ill from looking at what he chooses to listen to.

roman i think has honestly mostly not been allowed to listen to music basically at all up until now. like if his parents felt like listening to music, then he would have to listen to that, but he wasn’t ever really allowed to choose music or have any way to listen to it on his own. his experience with music has been whatever other people choose to play around him and that’s about it.

yeah!! those are the vibes!! i don’t really have a ton of specific genres or artists to name im very sorry 😭 but i am super open to hearing ideas for those if anyone has any!!

[myhoneststudyblr]

i received an ask from @sunset-study asking me how to annotate texts so i thought i would do a post giving some of my tips! as an English literature student, i spend a lot of my time doing annotations on loads of different types of texts so i think i have some good advice that i can give. i hope that you will find this helpful and if you have any other questions, please feel free to send me an ask!

disclaimer: these are my personal tips and experiences and i’m sure that there are many more that are relevant. i have tried to do a little bit of research to get some other ideas which hopefully will make this a useful post but as always i appreciate others adding their opinions and advice in the comments!

[Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes]

What is covered:

General Tips

Things to look for

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

Other resources

General Tips

don't just highlight. this is very passive and often you will not really be taking in what is important. 

pencils are great for annotating. if you are anything like me, when you are annotating, you often are doing it as the thoughts come into your mind so a pencil allows you some leeway to erase and refine ideas. also when you are writing in a book, i personally do not have enough confidence to write in pen.

don’t annotate extensively the first time you read. often on a first read, you don't see the recurring imagery or features because you don't have the whole context so don't annotate deeply the first time you read something. that said, it can often be good to jot some questions in the margins that you have because these can be useful to remind you of your thoughts when you reread. 

think of some symbols to indicate important or interesting parts. for example, if it is a dramatic section, i will box it off and put a big exclamation mark. or if something is confusing or unclear, use a question mark. i tend to put a star for a section that is important. you could think of symbols for humour, foreshadowing, particular themes or characters etc.

actually respond to the text. this seems like an obvious one but a lot of the time, because we are taught in schools all these fancy techniques, when we see one of them in a text we just highlight them and note that its a metaphor or simile or foreshadowing. what you should try to do is explain - briefly - why that is important and its effect. also if you have any personal reaction to it, note that down as well because this can be really helpful when writing essays because it shows that you’ve actually engaged with the text. 

practice, practice, practice. annotation is a skill and honestly it can be quite difficult because you need to often read between the lines and summarise, while also analysing. so take some time to focus on this skill and create your own method and shorthand.

Things to look for:

structure. are the paragraphs long? is sentence varied or does it remain quite consistent? are there any repeated words or phrases? what is the overall shape of the text? where does the narrative start? does the focus shift anywhere? 

language. what are the literary devices used in the text? if so, what is their effect? has the author used a particular semantic field? are there any usual words? are there repeated words? are there any individual words that stand out to you? what are the connotations of these words? are there any words that you don’t know? if so, what do they mean? is there any unusual syntax? 

characterisation and voice. who is speaking in the text? if it is third person, how ‘close’ or ‘distant’ are we to the character? can we trust the character? are they an unreliable narrator? what are their key features? do any of these features link to key themes? if so, where is that shown in the text? is the author using a particular voice in order to get a specific reaction?

themes. what themes is the author exploring? where does the author explore these themes? are particular opinions (either by a character or perhaps the implied opinion of the author) expressed on the themes? are there any words or phrases that link closely to this theme?

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

SUMMARISE REGULARLY

a novel is often long and there is a lot of stuff to cover throughout it so it is really important to keep making sure that you understand what is going on. summarising will also help you when revising.

for example, after each chapter quickly summarise the key points in a few sentences - which characters were important, did the plot move forward in any important ways, what themes were explored.

you could either do this on a post it note or if you have space on the last page of the chapter. make sure that it is not too long. a few sentences is absolutely fine.

KEEP A LIST OF CHARACTERS 

characters are obviously very important in a novel so make sure you know who’s who and where they come into the book. you could write the list of characters or a little character map on the inside cover of the book, which you can refer to if necessary.

COLOUR CODE

i personally don't colour code that often when annotating. i usually only do it in important scenes and moments where there is a lot going on and things can get very confusing. that said, colour coding can be particularly useful to keep track of themes in the novel.

there are many different ways that you can do this. for example you could have a particular highlighter colour for each theme. you could also put coloured sticky tabs on the page so you can quickly find the themes throughout the novel. 

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

This is mostly the same for novels so take all of the tips above and apply them to the play you are studying with two main - VERY IMPORTANT - additions:

NOTE THE DRAMATIC FUNCTION

a play is written to be performed and this has a huge impact on the text, because it can affect how we interpret a particular character, theme or scene. 

so it is SO SO important that you remember that it is being performed and think about the different ways that it could be acted and how the audience could respond to it. 

on that note, remember that every performance, actor and audience is different so try to think of ALL the ways it could be played and how our interpretation could differ

PAY ATTENTION TO STAGE DIRECTIONS

this is a related point to the one above. my GCSE English teacher used to go on about this all. the. time. because it is so easy to overlook them and not consider them a real part of the text. BUT they are such a key part because they can give hints to performance as well as the atmosphere which might otherwise be difficult to discern just by reading the dialogue. they can also be good ways to demonstrate character traits

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

NOTE GENERAL FEATURES (STRUCTURE, RHYMING, METER, CONTEXT, THEMES, ETC.) SOMEWHERE SEPARATE 

poems are obviously much shorter than plays and novels so they are often packed full of interesting language points to annotate. therefore if you try to add in all of this other stuff in your annotations using arrows, it is likely that it is going to get very full and confusing. 

therefore, i would suggest only directly annotating language features for the poem and writing your notes on the more general features of the poem elsewhere - for example on a post-it note, or if there is a bunch of white-space under the poem. then it is easy to find and refer to but won't mix with your annotations and make it confusing so that you feel that you need to rewrite more notes on the whole poem 

if there is a particular word or phrase that is important for the above features (for example, links significantly with the context or has unusual - and therefore probably significant - meter) you can notes this on the text using arrows but keep it specific and short. you can expand on it in more depth in your general notes

IDENTIFY THE TONE AND MOOD OF THE POEM

this is good to identify because it can help you focus on the language that is important and helps you to interpret the meaning. 

THINK ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE POEM

poems are usually meant to be lyrical and rhythmic in some way and read aloud. so think about how these words sound when you read it (are they harsh or soft) and consider the rhythm that the poet creates through punctuation. it could be helpful to consider a poem like the lyrics of a song and imagine what it would sound like if it were set to music 

rhyming is an important part of this and you could note - just for your own reference - the rhyme scheme (if there is one) using letters at the end of the line. but again, referring back to tip one of this section, talk about the rhyme scheme in greater depth elsewhere so as not to clutter your notes 

Other Resources

there are so many resources that you can find on the internet about annotation but here are just a couple that i thought were useful:

Annotation Guide Produced for AP Language Students

BBC Bitesize GCSE Revision Page on Annotating Texts

General How to Annotate Guide (Note: this is not just for literature but also for textbooks but has some great tips)

Annotating Poetry Guide