#this is pretty much a diary entry lol

[sproutandroid]

My Ireland trip haul :>

I’ve been on Ireland for almost two weeks and I loved every bit, everyone was so nice 😭🖤

There’s a bit of celtic culture in the north of Spain and Ive always loved it, so seeing so much of it everywhere made me happy.

I wish I could have been a little longer to practice my english but it was pretty expensive compared to Spain 🥲

[homenecromancer]

had a great time at the renaissance fair, even though i was sweating like crazy the whole time

like i kind of wish they’d just have the thing in fall instead of summer, just so it wouldn’t be 90 fuckin degrees out -_-

but i found a nice incense burner and some shower steamers… and a cute skirt that i absolutely need a slip or something to wear under, because it’s slit up to the hips on both sides lol

…got like five compliments on my outfit as well; my fashion secret is being too thirtysomething to be self-conscious. well ok. still self-conscious, just relatively confident that i was never gonna see any of these people again, so might as well wear black lace and heeled boots*

*perhaps not my brightest idea given how uneven the ground is, but my choices were: converse-style sneakers that rub at the ankles; heeled boots that don’t do that

[girl-bateman]

it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif

[softwaluigi]

oh my fucking god I need squeaky cheese Right Now

[hoshigray]

˗ˏˋ Summertime ⛱ Madness ˎˊ˗

Dear Diary...summer is finally here, and you're ready to spend it all with your best buds — Itadori, Megumi, and Nobara! Because the season is meant to be eventful, no? Though, how eventful? You already have plans with your friends to make every day count...Yet, so much has happened this summer that you NEED to write it all down! Especially since five men, in particular, have put you through a complete whirlwind of a summer...

Collector's Note: Hi, hello!! This is my first time doing something like this, but to commemorate getting 1k followers (tysm!!), I felt this would be a fun way to celebrate!! These entries will be posted throughout the summer (with dates provided), so keep your eyes open for when a diary entry opens! They can be read as standalone fics, but some (2-3) may be linked with one another. And no, they are not gonna be in first-person, only for this post as a sort of introduction to the pieces, lol. And FYI: these adorable sea-themed dividers are made by the wonderful remi (@cafekitsune), whose dividers I use non-stop!! Thank you sm for the dividers as always, remi, love what you do sm!!

Diary Status: ongoing!!

Word of caution: fem!reader - modern AU - age differences (the reader is at least in their 20s; the guys' ages will be specified in their respective fics for convenience's sake) - explicit content/nsfw so minors DNI - mentions of alcohol/drug use - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - taboo (consensual sex b/w professor/undergrad; a friend's relative) - size differences - one night stands - be sure to read the content warnings (cw) to fully grasp what each fic will contain before reading!

Intrigued readers: wanna be tagged when an entry is posted? Lmk in the replies plz!

✎﹏﹏﹏ 📖 Y/n's Diary Entries 📖 ﹏﹏﹏✎

Dear Nanami Kento... ༄ My Professor's Final Spring Praise

Entry Narrative: Before my summer break officially started, I had to finish my last in-person exam with Professor Nanami. It was so tough, but I made it through! I was the last to leave, so I thanked the professor and shared some final words before heading to my dorm to finish packing up. However, how do a few gratitude and praise exchanges end up with me on his desk and him between my legs? Contents: professor! Nanami x fem! reader - explicit content so minors DNI - taboo (consensual sex b/w a professor & undergrad) - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Nanami approaching early 30s) - fingering (fem! receiving) - cunnilingus - semi-missionary position (reader lies on their back on a table while Nanami stands) - public sex/sex in a university classroom - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - pining if you squint - praise - pet names (baby, darling, love, sweet pea) - clitoral play (licking and sucking) - kissing/makeout sessions. Completion: July 3rd (Nanami + my bday :DD so I better see y'all wish me and my hubby a hbd or this shit isn't getting released >:T)

Dear Satoru Gojo... ༄ Sweet Blind Summer Fling

Entry Narrative: Due to a bet made by Nobara, I made an online dating account to set myself up with a blind date. Although a bit witty and annoyingly childish, Gojo's remarkably handsome and sweet...So, how the hell did I end up sleeping with him on the first date!? Contents: switch! Gojo x fem! reader - explicit content so minors DNI - blind date/online match-up - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Gojo is around early 30s) - texting back and forth - sex at a hotel - one night stands - consensual sex under the influence - protected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - cowgirl + lotus positions - pet names (angel, baby, dollface, pretty, princess, sweet thing) - clitoral play (swiping and pinching) - mentions of drug/alcohol use (reader and Gojo don't get blackout drunk, but y'all get tipsy) - a bunch of silliness bc it's a Gojo fic (duh). Completion: July 24th

Dear Suguru Geto... ༄ Swim in Waves, Chill in Caves

Entry Narrative: I went to the beach with my friends!! Only for me to...run into Gojo again!!? And to make things crazier, I met his attractive best friend who heard "so much" about me??!! Thanks to Gojo's nonstop blabber-mouth, Geto was interested in me in ways I would rather not be known for! Contents: Geto x fem! reader - explicit content, so minors DNI - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Geto is around early 30s) - oral (m! + f! receiving) - heavy depictions of a blowjob - semi-handjob - sex at an open area; cave by the beach - 69+ doggy style/backshots + missionary position - unprotected sex but Geto doesn't shoot inside (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - fucking while the sun sets, lmaooo - pet names (baby, cutie, sweetheart, sweetie, princess) - clitoral play (swiping and pinching) - Gojo is here so expect some silliness. Completion: August 4th

Dear Choso Kamo... ༄ In[put]s & Out[put]s

Entry Narrative: My friends and I are getting ready to go out, but I'm feeling a little nervous about my outfit since it looks a little risqué... So, I took a pic of it and sent it to Itadori to hear his thoughts. Come to find out...I instead sent it to his half older brother, who was coming to pick me up......and he liked the outfit so much that he gave me his personal opinion?? Contents: still deciphering... Completion: TBA

Dear Toji Fushiguro... ༄ Secrets, Sweat, and Summer Fever

Entry Narrative: The gang and I hung out at Megumi's place for the last week of summer. But when I'm left at the house alone with Megumi's hot father, how am I supposed to act normal after "accidentally" eavesdropping on him jerking off to me!? Also, why and how the fuck does he know about my personal endeavors!? Contents: still deciphering... Completion: TBA

© hoshigray 2023 ~𓆉~ Diary entries above are collected by, written by, and belong to me, so please do not steal, edit, or post my works. Or I'll find all the people in your family who don't know how to swim and throw 'em in the ocean (and yes, that includes you). :/

[aetlasx]

prologue

pair: eddie munson x witch!reader

summary: Ah, memories. You journal your first day of high school, but things quickly take a turn just a few weeks later.

tw: menstruation, pad/tampons, bullying, name calling (pls lmk if there’s anything I missed)

a/n: just stick with me lol. he’ll be in the first part. Also, this is an AU!! For spooky season!! thank you so much for reading!!

*the chat font is the diary entry and it goes back to normal at the end*

August 22nd, 1983 It's been a few months since i've written in this thing. I thought it'd be a good time to start now since I finally made it to high school!

You know what that means? Four more years till I leave this shithole!! Better than five. June was actually waiting by the door when I got home, she really wanted to hear every detail of how it went. I told her about my classes, I have Jonathan in two and Nancy in several. I told her how the school and people were so different from anything I was used to. But, it doesn't take her long to find something wrong with the way I think. She started with her usual warnings and advice, all the things I need to avoid, all the mistakes I shouldn't make. I know she's just trying to protect me, but it feels like she can never have trust in her little sister.

On the other hand, at least Teddy asked if I had fun. He's always been the one who knows how to lighten the mood, especially knowing how his wife is. He asked about my teachers and any clubs that looked cool enough to join. He even asked about Jonathan and Nancy.

Jonathan was definitely not as excited as me. He's quite, but he's always been that way.I know that his mom was excited for his first day of high school, she even convinced him to bring his camera. Right now, I'm trying to convince him to join the newspaper but he just shrugs me off. And Nancy, well, although it's been one–girl is practically glow. Within just 8 hours of the school day, she was able to meet a boy. She kept gushing about him and is pretty excited for the rest of the school year here. I'm genuinely happy for her.

Before June could add her two cents, I interrupted her with how I stopped by Aunt Claudia's after school to see how Dustin's day went. He was already sprawled out on the couch, 'exhausted' from fighting with his new math teacher. It had been a bit since I had seen them, I slaved away my summer at my job so stopping by, I felt grateful that they weren't even mad. I'll have to start hanging out with him again.

Anyways, I’m determined to make the most of freshman year with my friends. I’m ready to prove that I’m more than just a product of this stupid town.

Wish me luck!!

September 16th, 1983

I think I lied. I don’t know where to start…but a four year wait is too long. I don’t know where it all went wrong but it started over the weekend.

Sometimes I’d like to think that if my mom was still around, this wouldn’t have happened. Hell, June is like my mom, why did it happen. I’m talking about mother nature’s gift. It seemed as though no on thought to inform me that a girls first period would be this chaotic.

Nance and I had a movie night planned. I hadn’t really talked to her much, only in class, because her new boy toy or whatever—Steve Harrington, was taking up most of her time. I thought this would be a good time to just catch up and gossip, I was wrong. That Friday was horrible. I ended up throwing up, getting the chills, my body ached to no end. But I was still determined to make movie night happen, especially since June and Teddy were gone for the weekend.

As I was dying on the couch, Nancy finally showed up. But to my disappointment, it was only to cancel. Her and Steve were going out on their first date. I don’t know if it was how hot I was feeling or my intestines twisting, but black spots started clouding my vision. I just remember her screaming for Steve and once I knew it, I woke up in the hospital.

What I’m about to write, I’ll say with confidentiality…probably because I’m the only one reading this. Whatever.

A period is probably normal for all females. What’s not normal is having to go to the hospital and having your best friend’s boyfriend make fun of you because the doctor called you a late bloomer. I mean, she apologized but, if I could’ve just died on that bed, I wouldn’t be here.

Even June lectured me when I interrupted her weekend getaway. The whole ride home she kept complaining and saying ‘how could I not know’ and ‘you just gave us another unnecessary bill’. Like, sorry my baby’s natural response has ruined something for you.

Fuck. That’s not even the worst part. When Monday came back around, everyone was looking at me when I walked in. I know how cliche it sounds after what had just happened but knowing how popular Harrington was and who his friends were, he had already told the whole school by now. During gym, Carol and a few other girls threw pads and tampons at me. I got called ‘Bloody Mary’ and ‘Leak Freak’ in the hallways, at lunch, and anytime anyone had the chance. I tried to stay strong, I even hoped Nancy would say something to me during class or at least when she saw me but she just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. It’s just hard to believe that a few weeks ago, everything was fine. We were making fun of our teacher, gossiping with Barb, and even went shopping but I guess things change. Now when I look at her I’m just consumed with rage.

Jonathan has been supportive, though. The evening I got out of the hospital, he had actually brought over some of my favorite snacks and listened to me cry all night. Even when the mocking was bad, he’s stuck by my side. He’s told some kids to fuck off, walks me to class, and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong but knowing that I have to wake up and go through it again doesn’t really ease my pain.

I feel like my chances of making friends and actually joining some clubs are ruined. When I try talking to some new, they give me dirty looks. When I go to ask about different clubs, they turn me away. I’ve lost hope. Thought this was suppose to be a fresh start but I guess not.

And just to add more salt to the wound, I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes and drift to away, I’m met with such an unsettling environment. The atmosphere is thick, groggy, red. It’s coated in fog, but a man I’ve never seen before always walks through it. He says his name is Henry, he starts talking about my worries and pain. It’s always the same—he says he’s ‘there to help me’, he’s there to ‘take away the pain because he knows what it’s like’. I truly don’t know what has caused my subconscious to create things like this but I guess I’m just tired of feeling like shit.

I don’t even know why I bother keeping a journal around. Sometimes I feel like I won’t even be here in the future to reminisce on the shitty days like this. Why would I even? I guess it’s just easier to write these things down than having to say them out loud. I thought I’d be able to make my sister, aunt, cousin, and friends proud, but I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this.

Closing the diary, the blonde places it back in the shoebox you hid it in. Pushing it back under your bed, standing from the place he sat. A satisfied smirk on his face.

He’d been following your turmoil closely, knowing that this was just the turning point. Your struggles were feeding into his plans. This entry was straw that broke the camels back—your vulnerabilities, your fears, and your desperations. It was almost too easy.

“Your suffering is almost poetic,” Henry said to himself, walking out of your room, your house, determined to take action now. He planned to finally confront you, to force you to acknowledge the full extent of what your destiny could be with his help—with what he had to offer.

[spacesodaa]

HIII i don’t do asks often so i have no idea how to do this ☹️ but can i ask for a acheron x reader? i have no idea for a prompt or whatever so i’m fine with anything !! ^^

You and me both, this is my very first ask lol

Acheron x Reader - Mornings With You

Characters: Acheron, Reader

Summary: A morning with Acheron

Warnings: fluff

A/N: this is my first time writing an Acheron fic, hope you like it~

The light coming from the star system penetrated through the small window of the ship. The small ship, shared between Acheron and you, was set to orbit the star in this system placidly until you had decided what to do next.

Compared to the usual, this morning, or rather the morning calculated by the ship system clock, was quiet and peaceful. Only the hum of the engines and the soft tapping of fingers on a screen could be heard.

Acheron laid in bed on her back, with her phone in her hands and you snuggled up to her side with your head on her chest. You were clutching at her sleeping shirt quite contently, sighing from time to time with a small smile on your lips. The galaxy ranger - or the emanator of nihility, as you had known for some time - kept flicking her eyes between you and the phone, typing short bursts of text.

She was trying to keep a diary of sorts, under your suggestion, and to her surprise she had lost count of how many times she had mentioned you pretty early on. Each and every stream of thought lead back to you, often accompanied by pictures of you she had taken. She had started taking those pictures of you in different candid moments to prove to you that you were, in fact, beautiful in every moment. Even when you were wheezing in laughter, or deep in thought, or intently watching the people around you.

People watching was another passion of yours, given your nosy streak. You were incredibly curious about pretty much anything, especially how the world around you worked. You had even asked what an emanator does at some point, but unfortunately for you, Acheron didn't have a straight answer for you.

The woman gazed at you once again and in a split second decision, took a selfie of you in her arms. She quickly pasted it in the entry she was writing before pressing a light kiss on your head.

Had you told her she would be taking a selfie - a. selfie. - she would have looked at you like you had three heads.

It had been a long long time since she had felt the warmth in her chest. So long that she used to think she could never feel it again. But then you had come in her life, a chance meeting in Penacony, and absolutely buldozed the walls she had painstakingly built in her years of solitude with your sunny disposition. She had shut everything out as to not lose anything more than she already had. Acheron had lost her former lover, her world, her family. Now that she had you she was deathly afraid that you would leave her memories and her sun would disappear once again.

A grumble pulled the ranger out of her thoughts. Your hold on her tightened slightly as you yawned and further nuzzled your face in her chest.

"Baby" you muttered against her shirt.

"Yes?" Acheron replied, putting away her phone to give you her full attention. She smoothed your hair with her hand and gently carressed your head trying to coax further details.

"'m hungry" you elaborated, scrunching your face up.

"What would you like me to cook?" The woman began to shift in order to get up from your shared cot, but you whined in protest so she gave up for the moment.

"Nooo stay with me!"

"My love, I can't help you if I don't get up" Acheron said softly. You whined once again "Do you want to come with me? You can hold onto me while we prepare breakfast" that proposal seemed to appease you.

You clung onto your girlfriend as she carried you into her back with little effort. Acheron headed to the small kitchen on the ship, where she opened the fridge to check what you had available to eat.

"Waffles?" She asked. She might have not been able to remember all of your favorite things, but she sure as hell had a list on her phone. It was one of the pages of her diary and it held all your likes and dislikes so she could check it whenever her memory was screwing her over.

"Yes!" You perked up at the idea, mouth watering at the thought.

Recieving the confirmation, your girlfriend pulled up a recipe on her phone and set to work. With her deft hands it didn't take long to have a small pile of funing hot waffles on the table.

You stayed on her back until it was time to eat, when you reluctantly let go of her to gobble down the delicious breakfast.

You looked at Acheron, beaming. How did you manage to win her over was a mystery to you, you felt incredibly lucky.

"You like them?" She asked, seeing your smile.

"Yeah! But I also like you a lot" you answered cheekily.

Acheron chuckled at your answer, an amused expression adorning her usually calm face.

"So, where do we head next?"

[herozdiary]

Hi, request here! Would you have anything in mind for simon with a gothic reader?

I keep thinking about the summer days with my best friend when we would lay for hours in bed just smoking and listening to vinyls, watching the rays of sun try to come into the room through thick curtains and when it would finally get dark outside we would go to libraries or just wander the streets (or cemeteries). I think this would be nice to do with simon if he could be my (boy)friend lol

Don't feel pressured to get this out too fast, enjoy your holidays :)

Summer days

Simon x reader

This diary entry contains…established relationship | smoking | Simon being silly | fluff! | might be short but probably won’t be that long😵‍💫

THANK UUU FOR THE REQUEST 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 I honestly had to do some research to get the goth style accurate 😓😓 I HOPE THIS IS TOO YOUR LIKING!!!

Simon was absolutely head over heels for you.You were laid back,chill person who knew how to put people in their place when they would call you “emo”.

Simon knew a thing or two about the goth style and was interested in it.he loved your style and how you dressed,It made you stand out.you always had the best outfits,you didn’t cause a scene and mostly just watched things unfold before going back to doing whatever.

He always would get nervous when you would wave at him.He always wanted to make the first move and introduce himself but he was just too scared you wouldn’t like him.

Turns out you also wanted to talk with him but didn’t know how as he would always look the other way when you would look at him.you knew he had a friend named Sophie and wondered if maybe she could help you talk to him more.

Sophie was pretty nice and onboard with getting you and Simon to get closer.You guys had the same lunch period so Sophie brought Simon over to your table and introduced him to you.

You saw the way he fidgeted with his fingers as he spoke to you.he then went on a small rant about how much he liked your style and had been wanting to talk to you for a while.

You happily explain to him how you found him cool mostly because he stayed to himself and didn’t cause any trouble.

You guys got closer as the months went by until it reached summer.Simon had asked you out a month ago and you happily agreed.it was a slow simple relationship as you both respected each boundaries.

It was a bonus as you explained the goth style to him and it’s background as the both of you laid on your rug going through Simon’s vinyl collection he had brought with him.he took in every piece of information you had to offer as reached into his bag and brought out of pack of cigarettes.

He offered you one which you gladly took as the two of you sat in silence,Sadly your record player wasn’t acting right so you couldn’t play any music but that didn’t matter, you had Simon’s amazing singing skills…by amazing I mean you wanted to put him on mute but in a good way!

He made small comments about how much of an angel you look sitting in front of the window,the rays of sunlight outlining your silhouette in a way.

You adore how honest and thoughtful Simon was with his compliments as he watched you with his pretty tired eyes,Your favorite thing about him.

Your main plan for later that day was to just sit outside and chat about things.Even the smallest talks were nice for you and Simon as well he doesn’t speak much but when he does speak he can go on hour rants or just tell you small Swedish history facts he finds cool.

Once the sun had fully went down,You packed a small bag with a flashlight,your phone charger and a bottle of water mostly because that’s all you really needed to just sit outside and talk.

Hopping down your steps,Simon was sat on your couch watching whatever was playing on your TV before noticing you were ready and turned off the the TV.

Unlocking your front door he opened it for you with a small smile as you give him one back before stepping out the house.It was pretty quiet and warm out.You wouldn’t really expect to see anyone besides maybe a couple of kids who didn’t have a certain time to be in or maybe a bunch of teens causing problems.

You kicked a small rock with your boot before looking at the moon.”I really like summer nights,It’s really the only time where it’s kinda quiet out.”You say while looking at Simon who was on his phone.

“I don’t really have an opinion on the summer or really any season,I’m more of a winter person though.”He says while putting his phone back in his hoodie pocket.

“I could kinda tell you like winter more.You look like the type to play in the snow and make snow angels”You say while looking at a small playground with three teenagers on the monkey bars chatting and taking photos.

“Funny that you say that,I used to love making snow angels until one day I just kinda grew out of it and stopped.I prefer making snowmen now”He explains.

You nod slightly.”I like snowmen…maybe when it gets colder and it snows we can build one together!”You say while looking at Simon as he smiles and nods.

The rest of the night was filled with the two of you pranking and scaring a bunch of teens,Buying snacks and sitting on the top of a building watching the pretty city lights,hands interlocked.

[starferret]

omg hiiiiii :3

Ok so first off thank you guys so much for all the love and support on the previous comic, it really does mean a lot. I might try to continue it in some way, either by just drawing some key moments, or sharing the script of it. But anyways!! Here’s some behind-the-scenes and fun facts about the comic!

This was the initial concept sketch from back in May. I wanted to focus on the creepy expressions that Luigi would have with mimicking Dimentio’s, but didn’t go that much into detail in the comic since it was just meant to be sketching out the ideas

These were the sketches for what was the next planned sequence, but I just didn’t like the action poses. SPEAKING OF ACTION POSES-

When trying to visualize the fight scene, I’d boot up Smash Ultimate and observe their attacks. I’d go to training mode and have so it advances by one frame at a time and just stare at it. I just spammed all of their attacks to learn about their fighting style and how they move.

Fun fact! Pretty much every Dimentio that floats behind Luigi were all drawn while I was on a 6 hour plane ride back in August

Writing stories always have you researching the most bizarre and mundane shit. I had to scrub through videos to see how Mimi teleports, and in the end I didn’t even do the one in the video. In Chapter 2 when Mimi is chasing you, she has a unique animation when she enters the room where she basically materializes out of a bunch of squares. There was no way I was going to be able to replicate that effect in 2 panels, so I went with the normal flipping animation- which she does do in her normal form.

Time for fun details :3

While the “dependent” one isn’t based on any specific moments, the other two are each from the previous Paper Mario games (woohoo I love canonical timelines!). “Insecure” is based on Luigi telling Mario about his adventures in TTYD, while his partner Blooey says that he’s lying. “Obsessed” was a bit harder for me to find an example of, but I settled on a line from his diary in the original Paper Mario. In one of his entries he talks about how the Goomba family came to visit and gave him a treat, and he writes “It looked so yummy I ate it without telling my brother! My FP increased by 3. .........You think he'll notice?”. Now this could be interpreted as “do you think he’ll know that I ate it without him” or something like that, but the way I interpreted it was that he’s proud of his FP increasing and wonders if Mario would notice this ‘accomplishment’, as if he’s desperate for his brother’s approval.

Luigi’s hand twitching is him trying to break free :) that punch angered him so much that he overpowered Dimentio’s control on him enough to be able to move his fingers around :)

Also I drew Bowser on Carrie cuz I didn’t know how to draw him running lol

[oxceen]

Alterhuman alphabet!

(credits to @/local-xenogender-icon)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

I awakened around two years ago, when I was 12. My neighbour/friend and I were hanging out outside our houses and he asked if I knew what a therian is. I said no, and he explained it to me, and told me that he is one. I was really interested, because I've felt very cat-like since I was a kid, and often saw myself as a cat, and afterwards I researched more about therianthropy and asked my friend a ton of questions and around a week later I confirmed that I am indeed a therian!

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, etc.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

It doesn't really affect my social life much, but I get phantom ears very often and it gets uncomfortable sometimes, and my friends often ask me if im ok bc I'm aggressively rubbing my palm against my head to try and get rid of my phantom shift :,)

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

I live in a sub-urban area (thankfully) because cities are pretty overwhelming for me. The area I live in has plenty of trees and bushes but it's mainly just in people's front yards and I wish there was a small forest nearby that I could walk around in, but sadly there isnt't :(

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

I used to, but I kept forgetting to add entries to it so I gave up lol

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

So far, everyone's been really nice! Everyone seems to be really supportive of eachother and I've only seen discrimination in the community once or twice. I'm also a little concerned about the nonhumans who are severely struggling mentally due to their nonhumanity.

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

My three closest friends know, and they're very supportive!

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I have an ear headband that my neighbour gifted me for christmas, and although the colours are wrong, I love it and wear it pretty often. I also have a half-finished yarn tail that's been a WIP for a couple months now because I can't find the time to finish it. And I also have a necklace with a green gem, a rainbow and a wolf pendant! It was originally just the gem to match with my best friend's purple gem, but then I added the rainbow (bc LGBTQ+) and the wolf pendant came from an old necklace I got alongside a book (Wolves of the Beyond, I def recommend) that I got in 2nd grade.

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

Vancouver coastal grey wolf, Turkish Angora, Western jackdaw, orca and banded linsang!

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

Both! I don't really make jokes about it myself, but my friends often joke around about my nonhuman behaviours (in a nice way) and I laugh along :)

K - knowledge

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

I'd say around a 6-7. I know pretty much all the basic stuff, but the more complicated stuff like physically-identifying nonhumans and otherlinks I don't really know much about yet, mainly because I've only recently heard about them.

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

I like my theriotypes a lot! I find my theriotypes really interesting, there's always something new to learn about my kind.

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

All my theriotypes are wild, except for my domestic cat theriotype.

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

I'm snakehearted!

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

I'd say my wolf theriotype is very "popular" if you just look at it like a wolf, but I've only seen one or two therians who are coastal wolves like me.

I see domestic cat therians everywhere so it's needless to say my cat theriotype is pretty "popular"

I see crow therians and raven therians a lot, but I've never met another jackdaw like me. I wonder why /gen

I used to think orca therians are rare, but after joining tumblr I found that there are quite a lot like me!

I've never seen another linsang therian, which makes sense because barely anyone knows asiatic linsangs even exist. They were discovered only in 2013 and we know next to nothing about their reproduction, social behaviours, and diet.

R - real body

Do you feel good about your physical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

I don't get gender dysphoria often, but I do get species dysphoria. A lot of the time I wish my legs were shaped differently, or my face was longer, or I had a tail, wings, etc.

S - sex

Does your therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

Yes! I identify dpecifically as a male dominant/"alpha" (I dont really like using that word to describe it)/pack leader wolf because I do not feel maternal instincts toward young wolves. I know this because when I look at pictures of kittens, or see actual kittens, I feel a strong urge to look after them, clean them up, protect them from danger, etc. Aside from these two theriotypes, I don't identify as a specific sex.

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

I get extremely aggressive toward people who wrong me or people close to me, and my typical response is to growl/snarl at them.

If a friend gets their hand close to my face, I try and play-bite but they always draw their hand away (understandably).

When I'm in a group of people, or I see a group of people, I can often tell who the "pack leader" is within a couple seconds, even if it's not obvious to a human.

Very wide smile during tense/awkward situations or any situation where I feel threatened. It's basically a snarl but bc im physically a stupid human, no one notices >:(

Sometimes I raise my shoulders and then shake myself all out (usually involuntarily), which is like the human equivalent of feather rousing

I sometimes also bump/rub my head on my (close) friends' shoulders as a way to greet them

U - urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

I'm fairly good at controlling my urges, but when I get angry I feel like I'm gonna lose control and just go feral on everyone. It's never actually happened though.

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could physically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an image here!)

I think I'd just look like any other member of my species.

Y - yarn

If you wanted to buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

I prefer real fur, but I'd only buy it if I'm 100% certain it's not from a cruel fur farm. But if I'm unable to buy it, I'd make my own, from yarn (which I've already started doing).

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

I think zoos are okay (only ethical ones), I enjoy going to them and seeing all the cool animals there. Sadly none of my theriotypes are at any of the zoos I normally visit.

___________

:3

[goatcheesecak3]

Adam's diary

Adolescent Adam stanheight x adolescent Scott tibbs (platonic)

Fic type: diary entry, angst

Warnings: domestic abuse, underage drinking

Summary: a diary entry written by adolescent Adam Stanheight, detailing the weekend he spent with his best friend, Scott Tibbs

A/n: absolutely no one asked for this but it came to me like a prophetic vision, and I live for rustynail angst

Scott just left. He stays here sometimes when his mom's boyfriend gets mad, and I stay with him when my dad drinks. Scott says I'm lucky to have a real dad, but I disagree. At least Scott only gets hit by some chump who's banging his mom,  I think it's way worse when the beating comes from someone who's meant to love you. But that's whatever, because someday me and Scott are gonna be famous!! He's gonna be in a band, and I'm gonna do all their artwork and be their personal photographer. We'll be rich and we'll never speak to our families again.

Well, maybe I'll speak to mom. She's nice to me for the most part, she even hid enough money from dad to buy me this awesome camera for Christmas last year. I'm not allowed to use it when dad's around though, he can't know mom spent that much money on me. He doesn't have a clue where that money really went, he still thinks mom got robbed by one of the baseheads in our neighbourhood LOL!

I'd like to get rich enough to buy mom a house and take her away from dad, but even if I could afford it someday I don't think she'd go. She's scared of him, but she says she loves him and that she won't leave. It sucks because part of me wants to protect her, but the other part of me is really pissed that she doesn't protect me. I've gotten into fights with that asshole plenty of times, just to make sure he doesn't hurt her, but she's happy to sit back and watch him kick my ass.

Anyways, back to me and Scott. Scott stole some spray paint from his older brother, so this weekend we went and painted a mural on the old bridge downtown. You're not really allowed to get onto the bridge since it isn't used anymore, but me and Scott aren't scared of a little climbing LOL!!

I painted this cool design of a pole with skulls stuck to it, Scott says he wants to use it as an album cover for his band someday, which I think is pretty cool. After that we went to the corner store and brought some 40s to drink. The guy at the store is so old he thinks we're 21! Scott says one day we should try and walk out without paying, but I don't want to push our luck, plus, the guy seems nice, even if he isn't really all there.

There's a big football game on next weekend, so I'll probably stay at Scott's House, because dad will probably be drinking. We're gonna go back to the mural and add some finishing touches, and I'll bring my camera to get some cool shots of us in front of our masterpiece.

Life is better since I've found ways to avoid my dad. Anyways, that's all for now. I'm going to bed.

[randomthefox]

I know there still a likelihood what we see in the animation so far is a product of black doom illusion (although the official youtube description has more or less confirmed this) but let's put that aside for a little bit and going hypothetical/speculation.

I just revisited Sonic Battle Gerald's diaries and i thought of something: one of the diary said that Gerald give Emerl to the upper management to bought him time to complete Shadow, saying that "soon, shadow will be complete" and we know that some diaries has little time skips, could be possible that Shadow to exist/be present when Emerl went out of control ?

That's not be the first time shadow deal with things out of the control in Ark as seen in his own game.

This is just hypothetical and speculative of course, feel free to criticize if i mistaken.

Oh I didn't even look at that.

PFFT WOW YEAH that seems like a pretty overt confirmation that it's a Black Doom vision.

I just can't stop being right~

And yeah I actually thought the same thing while revisiting the journal from Battle. The amount of time that passes inbetween the entries is ambiguous. We go from Gerald talking about how The Gizoid was subdued, and the very next entry is after the ARK raid and Maria is already dead. I think it's very plausible that in-between Gerald handing the gizoid over to the higher ups and it going on a rampage, he might have made significant enough progress in Project Shadow that Shadow himself was walking around and being an active part of his research into curing Maria.

I think Shadow fighting Emerl on the ARK is definitely a retcon, but it's one that doesn't break anything. I don't know if that fight as it'll be shown in the animation is going to be an accurate recollection of events as they happened, or be more of a representative nightmare. But I think either way would work without clashing the pre-established lore.

The only incongruity would be the idea of Shadow knowing Emerl first hand when he encounters him again in Sonic Battle, where he never says anything about having witnessed his destructive potential himself in the past. But you can easily explain around that by saying Shadow didn't feel like resorting to a heartfelt admission to convince Sonic and just wanted to sledgehammer his way to a solution because of the baggage he was dealing with. I would also say the status of Shadows memories are still ambiguous. How much and what he remembers, I believe, is still an open question. I don't believe Shadow the Hedgehog ends with Shadow truly remembering absolutely fucking everything about his previous life by any means, I think all he has is a mosaic of broken remembrances.

It's no MORE OR LESS of a retcon than Shadow being created from the DNA of an evil race of space aliens who want to vore the planet earth lol. Retcons in and of themselves are not bad, and I think if Shadow vs Emerl is being introduced as a retcon then it can be handled in a way that doesn't contradict anything we already know about the story.

[calekinnieplus]

This looks like a fun idea, so here goes! :

What do you think of this guy🙃?

Oh wow! Good character you chose there ahahaha! Roselle Gustav aka Huang Tao!

First impression

Honestly, I was floating in confusion at the start a bit, considering it was my first Chinese webnovel, so I had a period of readjustment to the writing style (or the translation ig?), so I didn't immediately connect the dots that Roselle was a transmigrator or that he's... kinda "dead" lol

Buuuut, once the dots connected, I did find him quite amusing! Bro's self-confidence gave me second-hand embarrassment, but not That bad. But also, Klein was bashing on him so hard, it was kinda hilarious.

I don't fully remember what impression I had of him, since I was reading pretty slow in the beginning and some ideas were lost, but overall, fun guy lmao

Impression now

Hilarious guy, a meme, a legend.

Yet...

Quite unfortunate that his end was just endless suffering (which will hopefully not be endless haha...). Bro made small mistakes in the beginning when he didn't know Anything, when he was transported to a world he didn't know anything about, forced to adapt and live a new life. I don't know, I find him tragic, just like Klein.

At least he had some good times along the road (especially with a demoness heh). The funny stories were nice to read.

Favorite moment

Basic, but his first talk with Klein. I mean, him meeting a fellow transmigrater and quickly having faith in him was sweet. I really wish to see more of them :>

If we're talking about the diary entries, I'd probably choose when... uhhh the corruption thing. Roselle going to the moon. And when he gazed into the Abyss. I remember how the diary entry abruptly cut off after dumping a lot of info and both Klein and I were Flabbergasted. What did it MEAN-!!

(I have a feeling I'm mixing up the moments, but the feelings remain. The confusion, the anticipation and the wonder from some diary entries were Amazing)

OH, and the last diary entry of course. It was so chill-inducing! It was one of those moments that answered a lot of questions while also bringing even MORE questions. It was just- the atmosphere full of fear and uncertainty, putting into question what that fellow transmigrator went through, wowie~

Idea for a story

Well, let me shuffle in the corner of my brain...

I've always been a fan of Time Travel AUs. So the idea of Klein (at a higher sequence but not Saint Level, maybe? Idk, a lot of possibilities here) travelling to Roselle’s time period and the two of them becoming best buddies (Roselle’s words, not Klein's. Klein's facepalming in the background at Roselle’s shenanigans).

Maybe! It could be a young god Mr Fool using his domain over Space and Time and having a misplaced adventure during Roselle’s time.

(We're pretending the Outer Gods and CW isn't as dauting of a problem as they are in canon, aye?)

Anyway, doesn't matter which version of Klein or during what time he's visiting, it's mandatory that he facepalms at least once :))

Unpopular opinion

Well, I don't know the popular opinions, so I'll guess I'll just go with an opinion.

I mean, he totally could've treated his wife better. I can understand feeling a disconnect with this world and humanity in general, but at least don't bring shame to her name by being a known womanizer, mm? At least divorce or smth, man. You overthrew the government, you could definitely do that.

Unless he actually did divorce her and we just don't know. But otherwise, yeah. Kinda dick move there, Emperor.

Favorite relationship

(Platonic, right?)

Again, basic but. Roselle and Bernadette.

The fact that Bernadette spent so much time searching for a father she was on dubious terms with and how much faith she had that he persevered against all odds.

The fact that Roselle’s one and only tie with this new world was his daughter, his beloved child that he loved with all his might. A child he shared a piece of his old world with. A child he remodeled this entire world's structure for. Absolutely heart-warming.

Favorite headcannon

Hmm let's see...

Huang Tao, as a young individual who surfs the internet, would know a lot of memes or jokes. After becoming Roselle Gustav, those memes aren't easily forgotten.

I mean, is it canon, actually? Maybe he made several Chinese meme references and I missed them lmao. That would be funny

Bonus: imagine Huang Tao and Zhou Mingrui bumped into each other one day, unaware that the next time they'll meet each other, it will be after more than 10 000 years, give or take. ...what's the timeline here?

[duplicitywrites]

Thank you so much for replying to my other ask! I completely understand not wanting to revisit a fic you had wrote when you weren't doing the best, and I hope you're feeling better now! 🩷 I adore 'evermore' so much even though it's quite depressing aha 🥲 The way you wrote Harry's mental health and escapism was so good and Id love to hear some spoilers if you were up to it 😅

One thing I love about fanfic is the freedom of it all, and like you said "What is fanfic if not an ode to writing that felt unfinished?". Your interpretation of Harry as an abused child at his core in works like "damaged" always get to me. It always felt weird in the HP book series that Harry had such an awful childhood and was as well adjusted and happy in the future.

Another one of your works I was really interested in is 'perfect boys with their perfect lives', the Harry/Cedric aka a certain dark lord one. It really had me thinking about what could have happened in the graveyard if Harry hadn't escaped 🫣

i am, thanks! it was around covid, which was an awful time for everyone i'm sure, with weird life stuff piled on top of it.

i was going to answer all of the ones you mentioned, but evermore is actually one of few stories i have planned out in detail. this is why it has a planned chapter count (though that hasn't stopped me from going overboard before lol).

i guess i'll just give you the whole thing in case i never finish it kljsdgkljdgs it's pretty long, so under a cut it goes! but first some context for everyone else:

🍃 Evermore

Tags: Alternate Universe, Unhealthy Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Infidelity, Past Child Abuse, Dream Sequences, Depression, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Plot Twists, Happy Ending, Surprise Ending, Healing

Summary:

Harry is a married man who is living a charmed life. He has no need for the fantasy potions gifted to him by the Weasley twins—or so he thinks. After falling asleep on the train ride home, Harry dreams of the perfect man, a man named Tom Riddle. As Harry explores his dream life with Tom, he realizes that his actual life is not as charmed as it seems. The pristine image of his faultless marriage shatters, revealing a darker reality, and Tom Riddle becomes an oasis, a sanctuary for Harry to escape to. However, no sanctuary is eternal and no oasis is truly perfect. Harry must eventually confront his demons, inner and outer, before he can find real happiness for himself.

Notes:

these notes are arranged in order from where the most recently posted chapter left off.

there are probably some divergent points that occurred during the actual writing process, but this plan below (i'll admit i'm not quite brave enough to reread it all) is what the general storyline will be.

-

reality four - right where you left me

maybe harry's been harbouring fears of his potions being found? :thots: or his husband's made note of his changes in behaviour, accuses him of not spending time/being devoted

they get into an argument where harry gets a looooot of shit for stuff he doesn't deserve to get shit for, stuff that's not even true

harry yells back but gets hit, idk if by magic or not :thots: and he backs down, distraught. then once he's alone, he goes straight for the dream world

dream four - no body no crime

it'll be a much shorter version obviously, and the character roster won't be the same

i hadn't nailed down the specifics of the background and so i'm not sure how it'll look, exactly

harry is NOT married in this dream, he knows dream-husband but they are only friends

dream-husband is ginny's role in this particular iteration

but the climax of this scene is where harry is snooping around in the house, where he happens upon the dream-husband's diary

he's been looking for evidence to prove the murder

harry reads through the diary

and in the diary are tragic entries describing depressive thoughts, details of emotional (maybe even physical) abuse, etc.

this is a pivotal moment for harry, who up until this moment has been in denial about the failings of his real life marriage

reading this in the framing of it happening to someone else is enough for him to realize that it's wrong

what happens to him is not okay

but of course it's not that easy to just, shrug off years of marriage all at once; harry once again exits the dream, thus ending that particular dream universe

he's partly in denial but it's not as bad as before

he's been using the dreams as a coping mechanism up until this point

i've made it sound kind of frustrating but the dream worlds that harry goes to are meant to be very lush, romanticized

while we realize that harry's dream worlds are not ideal, he doesn't realize it right away

he thinks he's still doing something wrong

reality five - coney island

uh so next is probably another real life scene which shows tension between harry and his husband, only harry is no longer acting the way he did before aka accepting things without question

after the dream, harry starts to... notice things. he picks up on the slights, on the manipulative behaviours. he doesn't argue back for most of it, because he's still figuring it out and he's in shock, but he does start acting differently, which is noted by his husband

it escalates things further, a landslide of 'harry is no longer listening to me, is no longer under my control' type of deal where it results in more attempts to manipulate, which harry now sees is bad

voldemort grew addicted to power, made deals with politicians, gained a following

he looks back on past events and picks out the red flags, realizes that his marriage is not a marriage of equals. but just because harry knows these things, doesn't mean he knows what to do. he goes back to the dream world for comfort/answers

dream five - cowboy like me

this one is 'cowboy like me'

harry is there with his husband staying at a hotel, they happen across dream-husband, who is a con artist attempting to swindle an older woman

either harry is also a con artist in a similar vein, or he is mistaken for one - i'll probably decide once it's written out and i get a sense of the vibe

but he and dream-husband have some interesting conversations, flirting, etc

the theme of this dream i think will be further strengthening the similarities between harry and the dream-husband he's made up in his head

this dream ends with a bittersweet farewell

something along the lines of, despite their attraction for each other, they must part ways? :thots: or some other thing

but there will be a bit of a cheeky 'see you soon'

aka referencing the fact that it's a dream/dream world, that the dream-husband is a recurring character in harry's mental space

reality six - happiness

harry's down to two vials now, the bittersweet farewell of dream five has him realizing that time is running out in the metaphorical sense; we understand that soon he will need to make a choice

i might loop back to infidelity at this point, maybe in an attempt to bring harry to heel, his husband starts flaunting an affair? :thots: cause in the past, flirting with other people probably worked to make harry upset and easily manipulated

but y'know now harry is armed with his brand new knowledge of Marriage Should Not Be Like This and also he's got some shiny self-worth stored up, courtesy of dream-husband

dream six - ivy

in this dream world, harry is married to his current husband, but he is having an affair with the dream-husband; not in the sexual sense, but in the emotional sense. drawing on the dream five, harry is seeking comfort and solace from his bad marriage

this dream is meant to remove more of harry's doubts and encourage him to see that his current situation is bad

and i imagine we start to break through the fourth wall; dream-husband speaks directly to harry, referencing real life events that have occurred

he encourages harry to leave

harry is doubtful, obviously. this is all he's known and he's been gaslighted, manipulated, mistreated

he's terrified he will be found out and punished for it

but the dream-husband reassures him, promises him that things will be okay, etc.

he makes harry promise to take care of himself

and i'm thinking in true romantic sense, maybe they spend the night together? :thots:

reality seven - closure

we solidify that harry deserves better, that what has happened is not his fault, etc all the important, healthy things

we have harry reaching out to the people that have been slowly pushed out of his life (mostly by his husband). he’s reconnecting with them, being healthier, i think this section would end with harry going to ron and hermione and telling them the truth, telling them everything

harry is down to his last vial, so he's been saving it

like, he could obviously go and get more, they would give it to him for free, even, but you know it's kind of like

he shouldn't have to rely on that as a coping mechanism any more

dream seven - evermore

i'm thinking harry goes for one last dream, they sit together outside(?) or somewhere else that has significance for harry

they hold hands, harry talks about how much the support has meant to him, what he's learned about himself, what these dreams have taught him

sometimes things don't work out

he knows he needs to walk out and move on

i'll probably cry writing all this so you know it'll be good

the end - it’s time to go

then like i mentioned before, there will be a scene of harry signing divorce papers. his friends are with him, telling them they support him, and he feels... relief. he feels hope.

the story ends with harry attending a party, this time by his own decision. he's here to genuinely mingle with people, with his friends, and have a good time

and then he sees someone

much like the previous dream, it's someone who he once knew

they talk, they catch up, but this time it doesn't feel odd or uncomfortable

harry feels secure with himself, and we end on the hopeful note that this could go somewhere good

[mygwenchan]

Just some random Playboyy thoughts after rewatching ep8:

The folder in which Nuth saved Nant's casting and suicide clip was named "Research". Judging by other folders and stuff on his desktop, it's all related to the movie Nuth is planning to film. In the first clip, Nant also recited parts of the script. Maybe both Nant clips are part of the movie? I'd love to get my hands on that script tbh... And also on the diary entry Nuth wrote on the twins bday. I bet there is a lot of useful information to be found!

They said Nant filmed the suicide video in a hotel room, but it's literally the same building in which Soong used to live... I think it's a production error, but it still bothers me a little.

So we were all wondering why the baddy bunch's kitchen looks different right? Well... Since First decided to live with his friends and Teena pretty much moved in with Zouey, meaning First couldn't bunk with his bestie anymore, they needed a new house with more rooms! I think that rooftop party was basically their housewarming party. They simply forgot to mention any of this in the series lol

That dog mask... I think Nuth must've asked Keen to hide it for him. But I also think Nuth himself is hiding it for someone else... It's pretty obvious that Nuth and the doggo guy aren't the same person and I still think our culprit is Prom. Which somewhat leads me to the suspicion that Prom is also our drug provider! Maybe that's his actual job and being the Playboyy manager is just a side gig? Or maybe Prom is dealing drugs behind Jason Lee's back. I mean, Prom already stole a large amount of money from his "daddy" (probably stole it from the club's cash register and the Playboyys). It wouldn't surprise me if he's also stealing drugs or doing other shady business.

If the post credit scene of ep8 isn't just a dream, then Nant is very much dead 😥 Thing is though, if that is happening in present times and not in the past, Nant has died only very recently. His eyes have turned white, but his skin isn't pale and patchy. There are also no signs of insects and other stuff... So unless they got the makeup wrong, Nant hasn't been dead for more than 2 hours. Plus, I didn't see any severe strangulation signs and Nant is wearing only his undies. The clothes he wore in the suicide clip are gone. And well, someone obviously placed him in the middle of the woods. But who? That is the question!

If Nant has indeed died recently, after Nont already came pretty close to finding the dog mask and the doggo guy... someone must've gotten cold feet! I don't think it's anyone from the baddie bunch. Nont had a whole breakdown in front of them and very convincingly told them he'd give up his search for Nant. Which pretty much only leaves Nuth, Phop (yes, also my cutie Phop!) and Prom... I went back to the convo Nuth had with Phop and it does sound kind of open for interpretation:

Nuth: Aren't you mad at me about Nant? Phop: You already told me about it. Why would I be mad?. I just want you to tell me everything. Then I'll be fine."

Now Phop is the very same person who stayed strangely calm while being held at gunpoint. Same when Nuth held a knife against his throat. So either my boy is dense as fuck, or he's got nerves of steel. Add some questionable morals and a pinch of insanity to the mix and you've got the perfect psycho boyfriend who'd be more than willing to commit crimes with you! On the other hand there is Prom, who tried to find out where Nont is planning to search for Nant, but instead was told that Nont would search for the doggo guy and not his twin brother. Now if Prom is Mr doggo, he might want to get rid of all the evidence... Might as well discard of the boring twin while he's at it, since he's got a new one now?

[luvrodite]

ok ok dad jason and his diary about his baby growing up…

he ends up treating it like a real diary and writes some pretty honest and intense things in there. talking about how he used this as a bridge to make up with dick, how no matter how scared he was that this was the first time he’s had hope in such a long time. that some nights he would let his fear of failure and being a parent get the best of him, and shed tears while whispering “i’m so sorry you’re mine” to the baby. that sometimes he feels SO helpless as he watches mom struggle to breastfeed and sob because she feels like she’s failing, too.

but these entries are sandwiched between moments where he writes about how baby smiled for the first time, and jason swears he never felt love like that before. that baby rolled over for the first time, lifted their head up on their own, learned how to clap and thinks sneezes are the funniest. that he watches mom lay on the floor and play with baby and finally feels complete.

he stops writing in the journal as consistently as the baby begins to toddle. he’ll write entries as he remembers, saying how much he misses baby while they’re at preschool/daycare. that they came home with sloppy hand turkey art for thanksgiving and he swears he’s never seen anything greater. but he starts to go months, years without writing. it eventually ends up forever untouched when baby reaches age 7, and shoved into a closet somewhere.

when the kid is a teenager, and deep in their teen angst where they hate everyone/everything, they have a chore to help sort out the hall closet. they find the journal and start reading through it, and never realized how much their father went through. i don’t think jason will ever be able to fully articulate feelings, and he never planned on telling their kid just how difficult his life was before, and especially not during those first few years of baby’s life and was still learning that he deserved a life like this.

jason comes home and finds them on the floor, poring through the worn journal. he stops in his tracks because he never really planned on giving the journal to his kid, and he honestly forgot about it. they have this heart to heart on the floor, talking through the tensions that had been building up between them in the past few months. a lot of teenage angst “well i’m sorry i ruined your life!” or “i bet you just wish i was never born!” sort of things, lots of twisting words and miscommunication. i’m team girl dad!jason, so for me it’s him and his 15 year old daughter talking, sitting against the wall, with her head on his shoulder. it’s the first time he is really transparent and open with her emotionally, talking about how having her truly changed his life, but it was never for the worse.

anyway it strengthens their relationship and she is unabashedly a daddy’s girl again, and life in the house feels a lot smoother. mom finds them sleepy against the wall after a long talk and lots of tears.

sorry this is so long LOL i spent my lunch doing this. maybe one day id turn it into a real fic who knows. anyway love u ro 💖

i love u ro thank u for sending this in i don't think i can add anything to this except to say that this version of dad jason is unfortunately so very me and my father except we did NOT talk about it lmao (i do love my baba very much though)

this breaks my heart in the best way i'm going to be thinking about this for a really long time