#this is really not to be a bummer or complain but if you can click the poll option you can click at least one more button? it's just as fun

[bizarrelittlemew]

😐😐😐

[nyarumie]

hii dropping by to say i love your works sm !! since you mentioned abt narumi requests, id like to make one :3

how aboutt narumi randomly feeling hungry during his game night and when he goes to find food he sees reader! so they end up making/getting food tgt all domestic and fluffy (if you’re cooking bro is definitely not thinking abt wifing u up uhhhh), feel free to create any setting you’d like for the scenario hihi

(also this might or might not be an excuse for me to ask u to become moots aha)

Food Impact! (Oneshot)

narumi gen x reader — pure fluff, more fluff, and even more fluff! sweet and gentle narumi, established relationship, the kitchen staff are eavesdropping on them, spoiler alert: they made a mess in the kitchen.

Author's Note: Readers, please search up the food name references I included here to get the entire picture of what they're trying to make <3

Author's Reply: hi, rye! I think we're already mutuals (at least, it's what my notif bar says? i know im already following u tho! i love your works too <3 it inspired me to write and post too, to be honest) thank you for this request i totally had fun writing it and helped me with my writer's block (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ id love to interact more too!

Cross-posted on ao3. Ask box is open, and masterlist can be found on my pinned. Have fun reading, everyone!

The sight that greeted Hasegawa has an unusual factor.

Stacked yamazon boxes, check.

Littered cans and bottles, check.

Neglected blankets and pillows, check.

An unbothered Captain on his futon playing his BS5, gone.

Or maybe he's just being dramatic. Narumi is actually there, albeit not stuck in front of his huge ass TV for once. Rather, he's shockingly seated behind his office table, adorning a serious expression while giving his laptop an intense focus.

His Vice Captain is rendered speechless. Was he seeing things? The First Division’s Captain… is actually doing work?

“Hasegawa. What is it? I’m busy here.” he said, hands busy on his laptop.

Oh, he's been staring at him for the past 5 minutes, mouth agape. Regaining his composure, he stated his business. “Your presence is requested for an interview. I believe I sent you the notice first thing in the morning.” But is it right to be disturbing him when he’s finally working—a rarer than once in a blue moon occasion?

“Requested, not required. Don't care, won't care.”

“...Then I’ll ask her to do it in your stead.”

“Don't. She's helping me with my work.”

Sighing, Hasegawa turned around to leave, surprisingly not picking Narumi up like a helpless cat to make him attend the interview.

Once Narumi heard the door click, the corner of his lips turned up, unable to stop the smug, triumphant grin from forming. “Hah, too easy! I’m busy working alright, my ass is practically burning from sitting here all day!”

In truth, the laptop Narumi specifically requested when he was promoted as Captain is a gaming laptop. He had somehow convinced the higher ups that its specifications are far greater than anything most officers can handle and is fitting for his position as Captain. Not that they know what it really is, of course.

He has been playing Jenshin Ympact the moment his office shift started. You had practically begged him yesterday to grind for you, saying that you’ll handle his paperworks worth a week’s job as long as he gets your desired character and weapon. “Why won’t she just top-up on this game? We have all the money to get every single character. What a bummer.”

Not that he understands why you’re willing to shoulder his paperworks over playing a game. Nothing’s enjoyable about paperworks at all! But you complained that your back was hurting from grinding, and who was he to reject such a good offer? That means a grumpy Hasegawa would appear less on his doorstep.

Complaints can be heard from him as he speedruns a side quest, mumbling about how the NPCs are too helpless. “What the… why do most NPCs ask for food here? What kind of adventurer doesn’t bring any food with them?”

Karma seemed to have hit him, his stomach growling too loud for his liking.

Ignoring it, he continued, still insulting every single unimportant character here and there. “Boo. Shut up. Don't like you. Go away. I hope you get eaten by a slime—”

And an even angrier sound came from his stomach.

“Fine! I’ll grab something to eat.”

What he meant by grab something to eat, is grab you to get the both of you something to eat. He refuses to eat anything without you, finding it more enjoyable doing mundane things with you around. His stomach has been empty since morning, wanting to get an early start on his grind.

He sulkily made his way towards your own room, knowing that you've been just as cooped up as him in your respective offices.

Not bothering to knock, he calmly opened the door, instantly finding you still working on his paperworks, desk situated across your door.

His familiar presence caught your attention, eyes lighting up in joy at the sight of him. “Gen! What brings you here? Do you need anything?”

Without a word, he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, making you drop your pen in the process.

Confused, you tried calling him again. “Gen?”

“Mhm… heard you. Just come with me.”

“Alright.” You smiled, his uncharacteristically calm demeanor endearing you. He was often like this with you, as if your very existence is his source of peace.

A comfortable silence lingered as you let him lead you to his your destination. Halfway there, you finally recognized the route to the cafeteria.

‘Oh, he's just hungry.’ you thought. ‘But wouldn't he prefer instant meals or deliveries instead of going all the way here?’

But instead of going straight to the self-service counter, he turned and made his way to the kitchen instead. Wait, are you even allowed there? Sure, he's the Captain, but he's not a cook!

He finally let go of your wrist, unceremoniously opening the large door, earning shocked stares from the kitchen staff and making them pause their job.

You pulled at his sleeve. “Gen—”

“Is there an available cooking station here?” he asked.

The staff looked at each other, obviously baffled. “Uhm, Captain Narumi, sir; there is. But it's at the far end of the Kitchen…” a cook said, pointing towards the station.

“Good. We’ll be using it undisturbed.”

Gen continued making his way forward, with you holding the cuff of his sleeve to ease your nerves. You offered an apologetic look at every person you made eye contact with as you both made your way through. He still hasn't said anything as to why you're here of all places, confusing you further.

He came to an abrupt stop once you reached ‘your’ station. It's time to get to the bottom of this.

“Gen, did you say we'll be using this cooking station? Are we actually cooking?”

He faced you, his arms crossing. Suddenly, he looked a bit bashful. “Yeah. That's what I said.”

Raising your brow, you tried prying more information from him. “And what exactly are we gonna cook?”

“Ahem. So I saw this food while playing Jenshin Ympact…” He pulled out his phone, showing you a screenshot of the food.

Invigorating Kitty Meal.

Giggles threatened to spill from your lips. No wonder he wants to make it yourselves.

He swiped the photo to another screenshot. “And there's this other one. You love mushrooms, I thought you'd want something simple to eat.” Milky Mushroom Crisp Tower. How cute, he was also thinking of you!

“They look pretty fun and easy to make. However… Both of us don't know how to cook, Gen.” you frowned.

“But you just said it looks easy to make. There's two of us, that should be good enough, yeah?” he pouted.

Fondly, you sighed. He’s being too adorable right now, you just can't say no to him. “Alright, we’ll try. If it turns out good, you’ll marry me, won't you?” you joked.

He brightened up at this, pushing his hair back, determined to make his kitty meal. “Consider it done.”

After thoroughly examining the screenshots, you personally approached a few people stationed in the kitchen, asking them which ingredients would best suit your planned meal. With a couple of pieces of advice here and there, you and Gen started to put the plan in motion.

He passes you a rather large bowl full of rice, busying yourself with shaping it to form a cat, filling its inside with mayo tuna. He tasked himself with (trying) to cook the steak while watching the eggs boil, which you doubted at first, earning you a complain from him (‘Hey! You're on the same boat as I am; can't cook, can't question!’)

Cooking the steak is quite the task, so you decided to handle your mushroom toast yourself.

You poorly sliced up the mushroom and tossed it in a small pot filled with a cup of thick cream and easily melted cheese. Not hard at all!

You leave it be and checked on Gen, who you find struggling with not burning the steak. “Need help?”

“I’m fine! It's just that this is totally not beginner friendly, that's all!”

“...Gen, the eggs are overcooked.” A series of curses left his mouth as he hurriedly took them off the boiling water, and his nose scrunched up on the smell of something burning.

“Your mushroom! The heat is turned all the way up!” Now it was your turn to panic.

After a couple of errors from both your ends, it was safe to say that you've finally reached the final task of your newly found skill.

You were carefully carving some seaweed, cheese, and ham as the final touches to his rice kitty’s facial features. Gen was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as he watched your art, humming to himself. He seemed pleased despite the mess you both made.

“Let's cook again someday.” he said.

You snort, “Speaking too soon? You won't say that if this turns out bad.”

“Nahh. Not if I’ll marry you.”

You laugh, taking it as a joke. You feel him perch his head on your shoulder, face turning into a frown. “I wasn't joking! Here, have this.”

He took your hand, putting a seaweed ring on your finger. You giggled again, your heart can't take him sometimes. “I didn't mean to laugh at you. You're being too adorable today! Let's eat these right here before they spoil.”

He looked too sad to see the kitty get devoured, sulking despite how good it surprisingly tasted. And yours wasn't too bad either, glad that you were able to salvage whatever was left from the burnt mushroom sauce.

“ ‘M definitely gonna marry you someday.” he suddenly said.

Your head whipped towards him so fast, only to find him munching on his meal, face serious. “Food so good it got you saying that again?”

He shook his head. “Don't you want me as your husband?” he whined.

You felt your face flush, suddenly aware that he meant what he said. “Go put on a real ring on me first. Then I'll take you as my husband.” you teased.

Looking thoughtful, he hummed. “I can wait just fine. It arrives tomorrow.”

Wait. What?

“What arrives… tomorrow?”

“The ring.” he said, matter-of-factly.

You faced him fully, mouth wide open. He’s dropping this information way too casually!

Sensing your stare, he also turned to look at you, food still in hand. “What? If you're worried about the size, I got it covered.”

“You're crazy. When did you purchase it?”

“Hmm… a couple of weeks ago. When I heard you scolding Hasegawa for disturbing me, saying I needed rest for carrying No. 1’s eyes on a daily basis. No one dares to scold him like that! So I decided to promote you as my wife!” he proudly said.

You tug at the front of his clothes, pulling him closer. “I want to kiss you right now.”

He set his food down, placing his hands on your waist. His eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth. “Then, as the Captain of the First Division, I grant you special permission to kiss me.”

And with that, you closed the distance between you, feeling the both of you smile in your kiss.

Bonus:

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the kitchen staff were eavesdropping the entire time. Who would’ve thought that this is how good their Captain's romantic life is?

You two were so absorbed in your own little bubble, failing to notice the suppressed squeal from a staff that was tasked to spy on you when you kissed. Seems like you forgot there were other people around you.

The staff went back to the others, meeting their expectant gazes. Wordlessly, they gestured their ring finger and acted out a kiss. It was comical, but the message was well-received nonetheless. It became an unspoken rule to keep what happened that night amongst themselves, wanting to respect your and the Captain's joyous moment.

[cookinguptales]

I found you through AO3 bc your nandermo fics devastated me and really helped kick off my newest special interest and I enjoy your metas a lot. I was sad when I saw your post about being disheartened by lack of interaction. I really struggle to communicate, especially online and especially when going through things, but I wanted to say that I really like what you write and your insight and thank you for creating. I wish I could interact more often and more specifically than leaving kudos. I had a moment of social energy and I wanted to use it to send this since I’ve been thinking about your post for awhile. Sorry for rambling awkwardly, just thanks.

I really appreciate that you put the effort into sending me this message, especially because it sounds like it's not something that's necessarily easy for you to do. That was really kind. Thank you.

I was mostly talking about wider fandom trends and my experiences in other fandoms; like I mentioned in the post, wwdits fandom has actually been one of the best experiences I've had in fandom in years. (Uh. Certain anons aside. lmao.) I get more interaction here than I have in a long time, and it's one reason why I keep writing fic and meta.

I will say that it's still... frustrating, I guess, the way that social media is kind of where fic goes to die these days, even in wwdits fandom. I do still think it's largely because you have to click off the "social" site to read the fic, and AO3 in and of itself was not meant for extensive social interaction. So you do still lose out on the kinds of social interaction that other kinds of fanwork (including meta, for that matter) seem to enjoy.

I would say that the way my meta is received vs. the way my fic is received is drastically different, and I really didn't start making as many friends on tumblr until I started posting it. The fic was definitely not enough, no matter how many people enjoyed it. Again, they might list me as an author that they enjoyed, but not an actual fellow fan that they liked to interact with. I guess that's the part that's a bummer. There is a more collaborative feel to certain kinds of fanwork, and fanfic used to have that feel.

Now, though, it can be very isolating and I do see a tendency to separate author from fanwork. That can feel weirdly like erasure, like people don't want you to exist, only the work you can give them. I've even seen people complain that author's notes exist because they don't want anything to "distract" from the fic. Like an artist existing distracts from the art...? That's frustrating.

I do think it's related to greater trends re: nonconsensual commodification of art, pressure to commodify hobbies, monetization of fandom, art as "content/product" and art enjoyers as "consumer/customer", etc. It does remind me in some ways of the way that people do feel... entitled, I guess? To various artists' output as separated from the artist. (See: misuse of art for AI.)

It does feel extra frustrating to see this forced upon fanfic, though, considering that it's one of the few types of fanwork that still exists in a real legal gray area re: monetization. It's like we get saddled with all of the downsides of commercialization with none of the benefits. I feel like we should be able to opt out of all this commercialization bullshit if we're not even getting paid to deal with the shitty dehumanizing parts. lmao

Ah, I'm getting distracted again.

I guess it's nice to just actually see people talk about something you've created and interact with it. Not just leave a comment to you personally, but show it to their friends, put stuff in the tags, ask questions, start discussions about it, etc. You know, the kind of stuff that happens with other kinds of art on social media. (Meta very much included!) Things that make it feel more like you exist in a community rather than just... idk, putting down something you've made and watching it get consumed absent your presence.

I guess... to extend the metaphor, I may be the cook but I still want a place at the table. The difference between making dinner for your family vs. making dinner for a customer at a restaurant, y'know? I wanna sit down and talk, not just perform. There's a lack of community these days that I really miss.

I guess all this is mostly just nostalgia for an older form of fandom. Fic did used to feel a bit more like an interactive art form back in the LJ days. (And before, I guess.) A conversation, if you will. Sometimes that could be irritating (remember back when reviewers could be put in the fics and such on ff.net? lmao) but sometimes it was really nice.

I SOUND REALLY OLD NOW... There are some things about modern fandom and AO3 in general that I really like, especially the ability to search and filter in ways that really weren't possible ~back in the day~. But... yeah, I do feel like we've lost something, too, by making fanfic almost too easy to "consume" outside of the rest of the social fandom space.

I guess I'll go take my cane and sit down now lmao.

[mrs-gucci]

Casting Couch {Charlie Barber x Reader}

author’s notes: hello, hello! I was driving home from work the other day and this idea just suddenly took over my entire thought process. so, naturally, I went ahead and wrote it up :)

warnings (what you see here is what you’ll get!): smut. the enemy of my enemy is my ally (with benefits). p in v sex. protected sex. rough oral sex. cum- swallowing.

(possible) tw’s: semi-public sex.

word count: 3.2k

charlie’s taglist peeps! {charlie currently doesn’t have any taglist peeps} my general taglist peeps! @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1​ @babbushka​ @safarigirlsp​ (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

Two Years Ago.

“Y/N...she fucking did it again.” Nicole says as she barges through the door of hers and Charlie’s shared brownstone. “She got the fucking TV gig.”

Charlie’s eyebrows furrow a bit before looking up at his wife with an empathetic expression, setting the notebook and pen he’d been using down on the coffee table.

“Bummer. I really thought you had it in the bag.” He says, elbows on his thighs as he leans forward a bit, folding his hands. “There will be other roles; I wouldn’t worry too much. You win some, you lose some; that’s how it goes in this industry. You’ve taken plenty of roles from her.”

She sighs, nodding. “Yeah, I know, but this one I was excited about. And I really thought I had it, too. It just stung a little extra, you know?”

Her husband nods, patting the seat next to him on the couch. “C’mere, sit with me. We’ll have a glass of wine.”

Nicole gives somewhat of a dreadful grimace, a clear sign she really wasn’t interested. Charlie’s been noticing this for the past few months, her disinterest in being with him as much as she usually was, but he figured it was just her being tired. She’s been doing a lot of odd jobs to make some ends meet lately, so it’s probably a result of that.

“Are you sure?” He asks, a twang of longing sadness in his voice.

She nods. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go lay down for a bit.”

Charlie just nods, picking back up his notebook and pen, continuing to review and add to his notes from the day. 

“Let me know if you need anything.” He calls after her. “I love you.”

She only offers him a small smile over her shoulder in return before emerging into their bedroom, closing the door immediately behind her. 

Present Day.

It feels strange, holding auditions for a female lead. He hasn’t had to do so in almost a decade;  just yet another reminder of how much of his life has changed just in the past year.

The divorce had been painful, stressful, and he was honestly more relieved than anything when it finally came to a close, despite it not really turning out the way he’d hoped for in terms of custody over Henry. 

Luckily, he’s dove deeper into his one true love, directing, as a way to cope with the loss of everything he’d worked so hard to build for himself; the marriage, the 'American dream’ family and home he wished he’d had growing up.

Now, after six months of weekly therapy appointments and keeping himself busy with work, he’s feeling more like the old Charlie he was back before everything went to shit. Actually, he’s feeling like an even better version of that Charlie, the best version of himself there’s been in a while, perhaps even before he met and married Nicole.

The first audition comes onstage and Charlie can’t decide what’s worse, her off-pitch singing or her monotonous speaking voice. 

God, this was going to be a long fucking day.

-

You’d heard through the grapevine that the famed Broadway director had moved here to LA, and that he’d divorced his witch of a wife, Nicole. 

Nicole Barber had been your biggest rival ever since you swiped that first movie role away from her. She hates you, and you don’t particularly like her, either, thus your rivalry began. And it was pretty heated, too; the two of you were always trying to one-up each other.

It really was a back-and-forth battle, her swiping roles from you, you returning the favor; it was a game, to put it simply. Although lately, you’ve been getting more roles than she has, not that you’re complaining, and there’s a part of you that hopes she quits the business for good.

Word got around that Charlie is heading his first LA Broadway production and what better way to hit Nicole close to home than to show up at her ex-husband’s auditions? Even better, what if you got the female lead in her ex-husband’s production? Oh god, that would be fantastic, not only for the rivalry but also for your career.

You’ve been looking to branch out into more theater roles, and this is as good an opportunity as to dip your toe in the theater world water. Plus, you’re not necessarily complaining about having the chance to look at and work with Charlie Barber every day...

So you prepared your piece of dialogue and a section of one of the choice songs, heading over to the theater fifteen minutes before your set audition time. Your knee bounces as you sit in the waiting area, eyes running over your script and lyrics sheet one final time, solidifying it all in your memory.

Your name is called a few minutes later and you head out onto the stage, handing over your headshot and qualifications resume. The agent hands over your profile to the handsome director, but he doesn’t even really look at it, already knowing exactly who you are. A small smirk grazes his lips as he flips to a new page of his notebook, clicking the top of his pen.

“Whenever you’re ready, Miss Y/N.”

After you’re finished, Charlie scribbles one final thing in his notebook before looking up at you. His eyes trail over your figure for a moment, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Would you be comfortable coming back for a more intimate audition later this week? Maybe, Friday at four? I would like to get to know you better, see if you meet all of my... qualifications.”

The look in his eye tells you all you need to know about the true motivations behind his question. You nod, biting your lip.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure, Mr. Barber.” You purr.

He shifts in his seat suddenly and quickly crosses one leg over the other before opening up your folder, handing the top sheet to his assistant.

“Diane, go ahead and have Miss Y/N put down all of her contact information.” His gaze never leave you as he speaks to the timid-seeming young woman. “Make sure she gives her personal cell number.”

You pull a pen from your bag on the stage, clicking it open before Diane hands you the paper. As you write every means of contact you can think of, starting with your cell number, you playfully bite the end of the pen and tap it against your bottom lip, something that certainly keeps the already attentive director’s full attention.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr. Barber.” Your tone is innocent-sounding, but your gaze is anything but. It sends a chill down Charlie’s spine. “I promise I won’t disappoint.”

“Oh, I’m sure you won’t.” A small tug at one corner of his lip accompanies his response. “See you soon, Miss Y/N.”

You offer him a nod.

“Looking forward to it.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In preparation for your upcoming...meeting with Charlie, you take a quick trip to the nearest intimates store, picking up a pretty little lace bra and panty set. Your lingerie wardrobe is long overdue for a bit of sprucing up, anyway.

When the time comes, you slip the fresh lace garments on before putting on your planned outfit, a cute-but-subtly-sexy low cut romper. You put on a light face of makeup, purely for professionalism’s sake, then head out with a small bag which contains various personal items as well as your script and composition page.

He’s not in his backstage office when you arrive, but he comes in a couple minutes later, a strong stench of cigarette smoke trailing behind him as he walks by your chair.

“I apologize for the delay. You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

You shake your head as he takes a seat behind the ratty oak desk, shifting a few small stacks of papers around on the heavily scratched surface.

“No, no I wasn’t waiting long.”

He nods, then folds his hands atop the desk, eyes flickering up to meet yours. For a moment, his eyes dart down to where your cleavage creeps out of your low-cut top.

“You’ve got the part.” Charlie says with a small smile. “You’re by far the best and most qualified audition we had yesterday, and I like the way you carry yourself. You’re exactly the type of person I like working with. Part’s yours if you want it.”

You’re overcome with joy, a wide smile spreading itself across your lips. “I’d love to be a part of this production, Mr. Barber. I’m really excited to get to work with you and the rest of the crew.”

“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it.” He nods, smile widening when as he processes your acceptance. His delighted expression falls after a few moments, replaced by one much more salacious.

“Now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way...I think you know why I called a meeting of such, uh, privacy.”

You smirk softly, shifting around in your seat slightly. “I believe I do.”

His feet plant on the ground as he pushes the rolling office chair out from under the desk, standing up and walking around the desk to tower over you. 

“Before anything happens, though, I want you to know that whether or not you do this with me will not affect my casting decision. Even if you decline, you still have the part.”

You nod before standing, quickly and swiftly, stepping forward to press yourself flush against him.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

Your hands rest on his chest, neck craning slightly to look up at him. “Just kiss me, will you?”

He laughs, massive hand moving to cradle the back of your head before he bends down and connects your lips in a passionate kiss. There’s nothing tender or gentle about this embrace, it’s all tongue and teeth, raw lust coursing between your two bodies.

“Couch.” His voice is soft but husky.

“Unzip me first?” You ask, turning around so he can unzip you. He does, then his hands slide down to your hips and pushes you towards the leather couch tucked in the corner of his office.

The material squeaks when you’re laid down on top of it, head resting comfortably on the cushy fabric accent pillow as he climbs on top of you. He presses his hips forward while he tucks his face into the crook of your neck and plants kisses on the skin there.

Your eyes widen as his impressive bulge rubs up against your inner thigh and you quickly wonder how in the world you’ll be able to take him. His crooked teeth scrape over the taut muscles in your neck while his hands pull the backs of your romper down over your shoulders.

His hands grab and grope your breasts beneath where they rest in your nice bra, one you wore just for him, and your back arches slightly up off the cushions with a soft sigh. 

A small smile crosses his expression, teeth sinking gently into your neck. “I like the little noises you make for me, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You smirk, running your hands through his hair. “Then I bet you’ll like my moans, too. If you think you can draw them out of me, that is.”

He laughs softly, sucking and licking at at the place his teeth have just abused. “Is that a challenge?”

“Well, it’s more like an invitation to prove yourself, but ‘challenge’ is also a good word for it.”

Charlie pulls away with a smirk, shaking his head as he sits back on his haunches and begins to unbuckle his belt.

“Brat.”

Once he’s undone his pants and pulled them down enough to expose himself to you, he leans down once more and pulls your romper the rest of the way off, leaving you completely bare, minus your undergarments. His eyes roam your figure for a moment before he dips a hand beneath the patch of black fabric nestled between your thighs.

Your breath hitches as his fingertips swipe over your erect clit, giving it a few little circles before yanking the panties off your hips and down your ankles, tossing them down alongside your previously-discarded romper.

His eyes widen in realization, cheeks flushing pink.

“Do you have any, um, protection?”

You smirk, nodding as you sit up and pat his chest. “Indeed, I do.”

He crawls off of you and you walk over to your purse, grabbing a condom from the mini-stash you keep in your wallet, the one you replenished just minutes before you left the house this afternoon. He takes it from you and pinches the tip, rolling it down his shaft. For a moment, you’re worried that it isn’t going to fit, but he rolls it on with little issue.

His hips press forward, then, entering you slowly but steadily with a soft grunt. You whine as your insides stretch out around him, hands reaching up to tangle in his hair.  “S-Shit.”

“You’re really fucking tight, jesus.” He growls between gritted teeth, jaw screwed shut as his hips begin to move. “I haven’t fffucked anyone in a while, Y/N, so I can’t guarantee that I’ll last very long.”

You nod, softly. “It’s alright, Charlie; it’s been a little while for muh--me, too.”

Your eyes flutter shut and your face begins to scrunch up with each time his fat cockhead brushes up against your cervix. His pace increases after a minute or so, a consistent slap-slap-slap noise now echoing off the drywall with each snap of his hips. 

“You’ve got a nice little pussy, you know that? Always knew you would be, too, knew you’d be a good little cccocksleeve.”

You moan shakily as he adjusts his position, towering over you and pinning your wrists above your head with one of his large hands. Your body begins to bounce, tits, thighs and tummy jiggling each time he thrusts in. 

He’s starting to sweat, a few dark hairs sticking to his dimly-glowing forehead, more and more accumulating there as his hair rocks back and forth in time with the rhythm of his hips.

“Touch yourself, now, rrrub your little clit.” His voice is getting shaky as he draws nearer to climax.

Nodding, your hand slides down between your joined bodies until your fingertips settle onto the small bundle of nerves. The hand that’s still weaved in Charlie’s locks clenches and he lets out a sudden deep growl, hips stuttering for a moment.

“Ooooh, Charlie.” You moan, hips lifting and gyrating against both his cock and your fingers.

“God, fffuck I love this cunt.” A vulgar squelching sound knits itself within the quilt of your salacious symphony. “Wrapped around my cock like a vice, gonna pull the fucking cum right out of it. Swear you get tighter each time I push back in...christ, I’m not gonna last.”

Your fingers circle your clit faster, setting a desperate pace, one that almost matches his quick and sloppy thrusts. You’re close now, too, and it doesn’t take much longer for your orgasm to hit.

You cream around him with a long moan and a string of various other noises, with a few profanities thrown in as well. The product of your release coats his shaft in a pearlescent sheen, dripping down his ball-sack soon enough. 

The sensations your climax creates around Charlie forces him to pull away almost immediately after, quickly yanking the condom off and onto his office floor, squeezing the base of his flaming red length. 

His hand seizes your jaw tightly, thumb pressing down on your tongue, prying your mouth open. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth and shove my cum down your throat, and you’re gonna take it all, isn’t that right?”

You’re nodding instantly, slacking your jaw to open even further in preparation for his upcoming intrusion. He smirks.

“Good. Now, on your knees.”

He sits down where you once laid, lazily pumping his throbbing length as you get into position between his spread legs. He pulls your hair up into a makeshift ponytail with his hand, then lines you up with his cock and eases your mouth down onto him.

“Thaaaaaat’s it, oh, gooooood girl.”

You start gagging about three quarters of the way down his shaft, but he still keeps pushing until you’ve got the whole thing in your mouth. Your jaw’s already getting sore as he begins thrusting upwards, fucking your mouth. 

Tears swell in your eyes and begin to spill down your cheeks the more he goes, mascara surely ruined and running down your face. The sight only arouses him further, a low groan rumbling through his puffed chest.

He’s trying so hard to keep himself together, to stave off his orgasm for as long as he can manage, but soon he finds it next to impossible to hold back. His bottom lip quivers ever so slightly as his length begins to twitch, balls drawing up.

“Fuck, I’m gonna--”

You taste and feel the salty ropes shooting down your throat before he can even finish his warning.

“Ah, fffuuuuck.” His head falls back against the couch cushions, hips bucking gently as each bit of release is spilled into your mouth. His grip on your head relaxes after he’s finished, cock softening while he catches his breath and re-grounds himself in reality.

Your chest heaves as full airflow returns to your lungs, knees and jaw aching a bit sore from their exertion. You grab your underwear from where they lay discarded on top of your romper, putting them back on before standing up on somewhat shaky legs. 

Charlie also redresses, standing and straightening himself out as you do the same. 

“Mind zipping me back up?” You ask, turning around again. 

He pulls the zipper up your back until it’s at the end of its tracks, then steps up behind you, placing a soft kiss to your shoulder blade.

“Thank you.”

A soft smile grazes your lips. “No ‘thanks’ needed; the sweet taste of revenge and spite is payment enough.”

He laughs quietly.

“Well, I’ll certainly be available, should you ever need a little replenishing of those feelings.”

“Mr. Barber, you wouldn’t be saying that because you’d like to see me naked again, now would you?” Your eyebrows raise and you look over your shoulder, a playful smile on your face.

He laughs again, blushing a bit. “Uh, yeah, sure, I'd like that a lot. But I’d also like to see you, um...not naked, fully clothed, maybe at a restaurant in the city for dinner sometime? I totally get it if you’re not interested, it’s not a big deal if you don’t want to...”

Holy shit, he’s asking you out on a date. Well, he’s trying to, at least.

You laugh, cheeks warming at his proposition.

“Sure thing. I just accepted this new job, though, so I’ll have to get back to you about my availability...”

Charlie smiles, shoving his hands down in his khaki pockets. “I’m sure your new boss would be more than willing to accommodate. He’s a pretty cool guy, or so I’ve heard. Handsome, too.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds like you have a reliable informant.” You turn around as you laugh softly, grabbing your bag off the chair before stepping up in front of him. Your lips plant a quick peck on his, hands resting on his broad chest. “See you soon.”

He nods, biting his lip to hold back his big, goofy smile.

“Can’t wait.”

[selchwife]

i don’t know what precisely is like busted in my brain where i’ve been desperate to say something about this for months, despite like, kind of feeling like it’s a terrible idea. but. i still after all this time want to talk about The Trauma, i guess, because i feel comfortable talking about things here.

i don’t feel good about adding specific tags or warnings to this just because it’s difficult to talk about at all, but for lack of ability to comfortably say anything else, the stuff i’m going to be talking about is kind of messed up, so be aware.

i guess like, it’s probably not a surprise if you know me well or just see me complaining a lot, like i’m sure the pieces aren’t particularly difficult to put together and i think at one point i might have even been more clear about what all happened

i’m sort of stalling for time honestly. it’s really hard and like, i’m always torn between “i want to disclose this here because i feel relatively safe and i’m tired of having what feels like an enormous secret” and “THIS IS NOT ALLOWED AT ALL AND EVERYONE WILL DIE IF YOU TELL!” and like. it’s a lot? i have a very hard time with perspective which is part of why I’m even disclosing this, i’m sort of hoping someone will say “wow that’s terrible!” because i have a hard time kind of like, knowing whether my responses to it are warranted.

anyway uh. i talk a lot on here about like vague PTSD shit and “oh the trauma tfw” and i get really violently angry about csa and incest so that much kind of all obviously clicks. i have a very difficult time using this Specific vocabulary but starting when i was a pretty young kid, maybe a toddler, up until i was 17, over the course of those years i was raped multiple times by both of my parents and a boyfriend of my mother’s. i also got harassed a lot outside of home, like, groped by my peers and targeted by adults for grooming, stuff like that. there are enough separate instances of things like this that i genuinely can’t keep them straight or list them all. all this was like, in tandem to emotional abuse at home, and i always feel like i’m overreacting saying this but i’m TOLD physical abuse as well.

i just like, hate talking about it because if i can make an absurd understatement here it’s kind of a bummer, and it’s not pleasant to think about. but sometimes it makes me feel like a shaken-up bottle of soda, like, just having the knowledge that all this happened and then kind of sitting nicely twiddling my thumbs pretending to be Completely So Normal And Well-Adjusted when that’s the kind of background i have. i guess. i still kind of feel like a baby, too.

in the end it’s like, i don’t know, i’m having a selfish moment and want to get it off my chest. and it’s my damn blog.

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Were there any episodes in season 3 where you felt they could've been written better? I'm only asking because I had some ideas I wanted to share with people about fixing them since, to me, the season started becoming a mess around The Phantom and the Sorceress. And the episodes don't need to be outright bad, there could just be parts in it you didn't like.

Oof. I've been a bit loud and obnoxious about certain episodes for sure 😅 I'll try to briefly sum up a few.

Also I'm just gonna say, some of these are just I don't like what they did rather than any huge fundamental problems like the finale.

Also disclaimer. This is not an attack on anyone who likes these episodes! Nobody has to agree with me! If you like these episodes cool! Glad you got something out of it! This is just Tombs being a nit pick loud mouth.

Rumble for Ragnarok

I can't complain too much about this one as it was still entertaining. Norse is part of my heritage and I'm a fan of the mythology which was on full display this episode. My only real issue this episode is that the message gets a little lost at least on me. And then two is I think out of all the episodes this one is the one that could absolutely be thrown out without losing anything really important. Trade this episode for something different. Something more important.

The Forbidden Fountain of the Forever Glades

Scrooge's behavior and leaving Webby in the jungle was painful to watch. (Much as I don't like the finale twist, the twist actually makes this episode worse.) [Also so much for Goldie's "fresh start" when in Split Sword of Swanstitine later showed she once again attempted to double cross Scrooge. Yeah. Fresh start. Totallyyyy.] Goldie is a fun character and I can't hate her too much. The episode has its merits and definitely still think this episode should be around but Scrooge's behavior here really kills me. Thankfully at the end he does better but ugh. It's low on the overall ranking for me based on how he behaves and treats Webby.

New Gods on the Block

I actually really love this episode but Storkules was pissing me off too much 😂 Nit pick for sure. I love this himbo but got dangit he was making me so mad. I get it was kinda important for the overall plot but come on we got so little Donsy content that it was frustrating that he was so intrusive.

The First Adventure

Nit picking again. I think it's kinda random how in the span of a few hours a hard ass like Scrooge went from "my obnoxious niece and nephew" to "my heirs and beloved family." I guess it's possible but not a fan of that kind of writing. For me it would make more sense that they had several adventures or at least more time with them before they became "his heirs" in his eyes. Extreme nit picking on my part though, the episode isn't bad at all really. Also no Hortense and Quackmore. Yes they were named. (Or she was) No we never got to see them. Rude! This was actually a really good episode though overall again I just have some minor nit picks.

The Fight for Castle McDuck

Okay this one is also kind of a nit pick but it's more like based on the episode's timing. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that Webby "Knower of all things Clan McDuck" has no idea that a family of Scots fights a lot. I can somewhat forgive it though as she's young and isn't as familiar with this side of the family in the flesh. But it's so weird how this late into the show we're seeing this?? I think I would have liked this episode more if it had popped up earlier into season 3 rather than so late? It just was a kinda weird episode and not the most enjoyable but the timing I think made it worse. Also the no mention of Hortense again. Referring to Matilda as the youngest when that's supposed to be Hortense? It's really not the worst episode. It just feels a bit off to me and again to me mostly the timing of it. Could have been better, could have been worse.

How Santa Stole Christmas

THROW THIS EPISODE INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE. HATE HATE HATE IT. THIS ONE ACTUALLY MAKES ME RAGE.

This episode is actually worse for me than the finale. Literally I consider this episode the worst in the series. I just hate it!!!

I hate that this episode was about Scrooge and Santa. I really don't give a fuck why Scrooge hates Santa and this story in no way compelled me. (Also why was Scrooge and Santa's dialog weirdly shippy??? Thanks to this episode got another huge NOtp, "scranta" is gross, sorry, hate it. Absolutely cannot board that ship at all, I have the tag blocked.) I see absolutely no reason why this was the story we got when there was literally an option to follow up The Last Christmas now that Della was finally home????? MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!! I hate the weird crazy ass capitalist message going on throughout the episode, I get Scrooge is a capitalist himself but he didn't change from this episode? He walked away from Jennifer's obvious poverty life and went "ah as long as she's happy" instead of I don't know, maybe a message about helping the less fortunate??

Look maybe I'm just bitter from my own life. I've lived in extreme poverty my whole life. My parents home has literally looked so much liked the ruined place Jennifer lived in during the episode. And I live in Alaska so I KNOW COLD. I know how it feels to go cold for days on end, no food, no water, nothing. Extreme poverty. Scrooge could have done something. He wasn't like Donald who doesn't have much either. He's a freaking billionaire. He could have helped. And instead the message he walked away with is "if you're happy life is fine" or something. Whatever the message that was supposed to be from this episode is completely lost on me because all I see is a miserable rich old miser who hates letting kids have fun and won't help someone in need. Absolute garbage episode. I really wish they had instead just followed up on The Last Christmas. Or had some kind of family centric episode at least! I seriously fucking hate this episode so much. I would legit erase this episode if I could it is the WORST.

The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker

Nit pick again. Didn't love what they did with Kit. Okay I get the idea he grew up to idolize Baloo so he turned out more like him. It...wasn't great. Didn't like that much at all. Felt like they just tried to shove Kit into a DT87/DWD Launchpad mold. I didn't love that Baloo and Kit's relationship was mentioned weirdly casually? Like Kit called himself Baloo's sidekick??? Except in Talespin Kit calls him Papa Bear??? Also great, got another tag to block from this episode, the delkit ship. Not a fan, thanks.

Kinda weird for me with this episode I didn't really catch the meaning of it. To me it felt like the message was "defy expectations...by meeting them." It didn't really click and I kinda hated it for that plus the weird characterization of Kit. Actually I was on Twitter and someone was complaining about this episode and I responded in agreement and then FRANK REPLIED TO US 😅😅😅. Frank explained that the point was more of "if you're good at something, don't give it up" rather than "you can do anything you set your mind to" type message that appears a lot in kids media. (Also Frank please don't look at me when I'm criticizing the show 😂😂😂😂😭 I promise overall I do love it I'm just a loud mouth when I don't like something some times 😅)

After Frank explained that it did click a little better and I can see the message a bit more clearly. But I'm still not really in love with this episode like I wanted to be. I freaking love Talespin so that was a bummer. But as I've said a dozen times. I'm mostly nit picking my personal opinion.

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck

Another one I wanted to like more than I actually did. And mostly this boils down to Louie having to apologize to Doofus when Doofus is the one who's like some wild sociopath or something. I get it Louie hasn't been completely innocent towards Doofus. He did try to use him and con him but Doofus flat out has tried to hold him captive and torture and even kill him. Doofus' sins outweigh Louie's. Louie having to apologize to prevent the tension and all just...feels like victim blaming? This one is harder for me to describe why I don't like it and I think others have explained it better than me. I think it could have been better if Louie AND Doofus both apologized and agreed to start over and let what happened between them before be water under the bridge. At least this way they're equals? Maybe it wouldn't have been the best fix but I feel it would have been better than Canon. This one I don't want to call a nit pick. This one feels like there is something fundamentally wrong with it but I struggle to explain. Mostly other than that though I think the episode was fine. A little weird that the karma court scale needed to be told the villains hearts rather than able to just know them (mostly looking at the Ma Beagle one here) but that part is more nit pick.

And finally...The Last Adventure

I have things I love about it. The individual character moments. The references and call backs. The music. This finale was clearly made with love and care.

But that damn Webby clone daughter thing twist changes things. I know some people say it doesn't but to me it does! I feel it messed with the family dynamic and the characters in a needless way. I feel it didn't add anything to but rather did take away from. I don't wanna say too much on it as there's already been so much talk on it so in keeping it brief- not a fan, didn't like, why the hell, no.

The thing with Bradford kinda threw me off too. His logic and insistence on not being a villain made him so interesting. He was truly a villain to rival Scrooge. Then in my opinion he was pushed into a weird middle ground. He didn't feel like he completely abandoned what he previously stood on but also didn't go full villain either? I get a villain like Bradford isn't easy. The writers have to truly bring their all for someone like him. But Bradford suddenly getting armor and the Split Sword and becoming a battling giant was kinda ????? inducing. Threw me for a bit of a loop. I probably need to watch this episode a few more times before I finally settle on where I sit with the Bradford thing but at least at this time I just feel kinda mixed on it. Maybe I missed something there.

Other nit picks from the finale. Donald's writing was a little weird, he sounded like he was going on vacation but then Della said he was moving out and Donald talked like "well you have the boys and Uncle Scrooge..." it just really sounds like he's leaving the family?????????? Especially at a time like this? Rude! I mean yes somebody please get this man a vacation but the writing here left me kinda confused and there is no reason Donald would ever just leave and act like "oh well their mom is back so my work here is done." Nope. DADnald for life.

Lena and Webby never getting shown to have made up after their fight. I imagine the giving June and May the friendship bracelets kinda implies it but come on. Even just a hug would have been good. Also...why are they giving up their friendship bracelets??? Confused, not a fan.

And also...in addition to the Clone twist, I really don't love that April, May, and June were all clones instead of Daisy's nieces. I really wanted to get to see them in the show and now I just feel like thanks I hate it! I admire the guts to make a twist like this and all but I really hate it.

Overall please let me say I LOVE Ducktales. The show as a whole to me is a huge important thing I love. This isn't an attack on anyone who likes these episodes. I am just once again being loud and obnoxious with my own opinions and nit picks and things I just would have liked to see or not see.

no idea if any of this rambling answers your question Anon but here you go. Hope it works.

[muilkyu]

Treasure vs A Bad Day

🐷 Hyunsuk 

"Hello?"

A chuckle comes out of the phone, "Did you just wake up?" 

You yawn into the phone prompting another chuckle to come from Hyunsuk, "Yeah. I was tired after class so I came home and went right to sleep." 

"How was class?" 

"So boring. I forgot my laptop so I had to take paper notes. I even had to tap the guy in front of me to ask. It was embarrassing," you groan. 

"Sounds so dreadful," he replies, voice coming out with a hint of teasing. 

"It was," you say, shifting you look around the room to look at the clock on the wall, "When are you coming back?" 

"That's why I called. Do you want to go get food?" 

"What are we going to get?" You question. 

"You can pick might cheer you up," he replies. That night you settle for pasta which you'll both admit was overpriced, but it made you happy. 

🐼 Jihoon

"Frowning causes wrinkles," Jihoon says walking into my bedroom. 

"Does it look like I care," you respond, shrinking further into your blanket. 

He signs making his way to the windows opening the curtains letting in the sunlight, "Get up right now." 

"No, leave me alone." 

"You know I can't do that," he replies sitting down on the side of my bed, "What happened?" 

"Nothing happened. Just everything today is irritating." 

He nods, "Okay, I understand that, but that doesn't mean you can't make today a good day. Let's go on a walk." 

"That's the last thing I want to do right now." 

"Come on trust me." 

You look up at him. You can see that he is trying so you groan sitting up, "Fine now get out I need to change." 

🐯 Yoshi 

"Hey come to the kitchen!" Yoshi shouts. 

"Okay," you yell back. Shuffling over to the kitchen you are met with a smiling Yoshi holding a plate of cookies. 

"Did you make these?" 

"I attempted to yes. Here, try one. I hope they taste good." 

Reaching for a cookie you look over the plate. They look like regular chocolate chip cookies with caramel drizzled on top. The color is golden brown so he cooked them at the right temperature. Grabbing a cookie you take a bite.

"Is it good?" 

"They are delicious," you reply, taking another bite it melts in your mouth right away. 

His eyes widened like he's shocked to hear the answer, "Really?" 

"Yeah. What did you make cookies though I have some in the pantry?" 

He sets down the plate wiping his hands on your apron he has on, "You looked a little bit down today so I thought I would cheer you up." 

"That's so sweet. Thank you." You reply before giving him a hug. Honestly, you had no idea Yoshi was paying so much attention to you. This sudden gift makes you love him a bit more. 

🐨 Junkyu

"It's okay you're okay," Junkyu comforts rubbing small circles into your back. 

"I messed everything up. I won't graduate,  then I'll have to go back home and I already have a life here."

"No, you can just take a summer course." 

"Then I'll miss out on our summer," you say pushing your head farther into your knees, "I don't want you stuck at the library with me." 

Sighing he runs his fingers through his head, "It won't matter as long as you get to stay here. We can study at some pretty cafes around Seoul and outside as well. The summer won't be a bummer as long as your here." 

Slowly you lift your head out of your knees facing him, pout still hanging strong on your lips, "Are you sure? What are you gonna do while I'm studying?" 

He thinks for a second the thought never came across his mind before he proposed the idea, "I don't know but there is no way I'm letting you go back home. You are here to stay." 

🐹 Mashiho 

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how sad are you?"

"Ten," you reply. 

"That bad?" He questions. 

"Yeah, migraine, and I have math homework." 

"I can't help you with your math homework, but I can get you some ibuprofen." 

Nodding in agreement you smile sadly, "That would be great." 

Mashiho is already making his way to the door, "I'll be right back then. You're getting cuddles when I get back!" He adds on at the end before he's out the door. 

🦁 Jaehyuk

"Come on one smile." 

"I'm smiling see," you reply, smiling but it doesn't reach the eyes. 

"That is a fake smile. I want a real smile," he says. 

"Jae I'm not in the mood," you reply.

"Why not," he questions. 

You look down at the table, "I just don't feel happy today." 

"Ahh okay well is there a reason?" 

You shake your head, "Not really I just woke up and it felt like it was a bad day." 

He reaches for your hand holding it, "Why did you tell me?" 

"You were so happy this morning I didn't want to ruin your day." 

"No matter what I'm feeling you should be able to tell me how you are feeling," he tells you, he starts playing with one of the rings on your finger, "I'm your boyfriend. I want you to talk to me." 

You nod knowing he is right, "Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I just didn't know how to tell you." 

Smiling he says, "You can always tell me." 

Giving him a little smile back you reply, "I will." 

🤖 Asahi

Mindlessly you click through the TV channels. Nothing good is on or well at least anything you currently want to watch. Groaning, you toss the remote down and reach your phone. There are a bunch of missed calls and messages from your friends. The thought of responding to them runs through your mind, but instead, you just swipe away the notifications. 

One of them catches your eye though actually, two new messages do. Both are from your boyfriend so you skin over them. 

Asahi 

I'm coming over with food.

I'll be there in 10 minutes. 

The messages were sent 10 minutes ago which means he'll be here any second. Just as you get up to look out the window to see if he's outside the bell to the door is already buzzing. Asahi doesn't even say hello as he walks in just walking to the table and setting down the food.

"Are you hungry?" He questions already opening up what looks like Bibimbap. 

"Not feeling that hungry right now actually," you reply taking a seat across from him. 

He stops adding the bean sprouts to his bowl, "If you're feeling down you should eat still."

"How did you know I wasn't in a good mood," you ask, surprised he was able to randomly guess how you were feeling. 

He mixes up his bowl and without looking up replies, "I had a feeling so I brought you some comfort food and now I'm here to listen," he grabs a bit of food onto his spoon leaning over to bring it to you, "Now eat and tell me everything you have on your mind."

🦊 Yedam

Notes have to be the most boring thing in the world. You write them for hours only to study them and then take the quiz and nothing you wrote to be on the quiz. It's boring yet primitive to get through school. 

Currently, you're at cram school, it's already 7 pm. Which isn't that late, but now you have a hand cramp from writing all day. Yedam wasn't able to join you today so here you sit face timing him instead. 

"Korea is trying to kill me," you complain, placing your pencil down. You rub your eyes to stop from feeling sleepy. 

"You only have 2 more pages to study," he says back. 

"2 pages too many," you reply glaring at the textbook. The font is the size of an ant and it's history. Not even Korean history, world history about America, nothing fun at all. 

"If you're like this I wonder how you studied back home." 

"Back home I studied, but I only studied a few hours. Most of the time we had study guides so we knew what was on the test." 

"Just think of this as a longer one than. It's just a self-written one with probably way more words."

You pout at the screen, "It still sucks. How am I supposed to remember all of this?" 

"I'll help you study."

"No, you already have so much going on," you refuse. 

"We can study together. It might actually help us. You can tutor me and vice versa," he suggests. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Why not. What could go so wrong?" 

🐰 Doyoung 

"Hot chocolate, coffee, or water?" 

"What about a Vanilla Bean Frappe made with almond milk and a little caramel drizzle." 

"I don't believe this is a Starbucks," he laughs. 

"Then what is the point? It's either that or I'm going back to bed."

"Okay so you've decided to be grumpy today," he responds walking back into the living room. 

"I've been grumpy all day. Which you would know if you weren't late today." 

"Oh, so this is why you're mad," he replies, eyebrows raised. 

"Not mad, 'grumpy'. I'm also extremely tired from staying up waiting for you," you say with a yawn following. 

"Do you just want to go lay down?" He suggests. 

You nod, "I want to take a nap while listening to sad music." 

"Okay," he replies walking over to the couch to sit. He taps his lap, "Lay down here." 

So you lay your hard down on his lap, "Where is my music?"

"Right away your majesty," he teases, pulling out his phone. 

"Majesty?" You question, then you smirk, "I could get used to that." 

🐏 Haruto

"I'm here." 

You sit up wiping the tears from your face. You call back to the voice, "Bedroom." 

A few shuffles are heard before your door opens. A concerned Haruto appears walking over to you, "Awee babe," He says so more tears come down your face. Arms wrap around you pulling you into a hug, "Are you okay?" 

Shaking your head you place your head in his neck. Giving him a small reply of 'no' which has him holding you tighter. 

"I'm here okay?" He comforts. Weakly you nod your head back. 

"I'm getting you all wet." 

"It's fine," he laughs lightly, "I wonder how bad today was for you to be this shaken up." 

Burying your head deeper into his neck you sigh, "It was terrible." 

"I bet. Look, we don't have to talk about it until you're ready." 

"Okay." 

🐺 Jeongwoo

"Why is she so annoying?" You groan. 

"I don't even know who you are talking about." 

"I told you that one girl at lunch, she keeps rolling her eyes at me. I haven't even talked to her before. I don't even know her name," you continue on. 

"Okay slow down. When did she start this?" 

You shrug, "It was so random. I was walking in line with some friends getting food and we made eye contact. Jeongwoo I've never seen this girl before yet she's so rude to me." 

"Why does it matter then?" 

"What do you mean?" 

He sighs, "Well it's like you said, you don't know her. People are mean for no reason sometimes. Don't let it get to you." 

You think it through knowing that he is right, "Still makes me mad." 

"How about we go get some ice cream so you cool off?" He suggests. 

"From the convenience store or Baskin Robbins?" 

"Which one do you want?"

"Baskin Robbins. I'll pay, let's go!" 

🐮 Junghwan

"I don't want to go." 

Junghwan pouts, confused at the sudden change in your mood, "Why not? You've been wanting to go for weeks." 

"I know just now I'm not interested anymore," you respond, crossing your arms. 

Junghwan stops walking to pull you aside. He looks you up and down before asking, "You've been waiting for this shop to open up for months and now you don't wanna go. So can you tell me what's wrong?" 

"It's nothing serious," you reply, uncrossing your arms. It doesn't seem to convince him because his eyebrows are still raised, "Fine there is a reason, but I don't wanna tell you." 

"Why not?" 

You shrug, "I don't wanna talk about it right now. We are in the middle of the street Junghwan."

"We are in a park," he points out, so you send him a small glare. He seems to get the message, "But I understand. Look we will do whatever you want today." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, anything to make you happy again."

--

Officially back! Requests are opened again for everything but fics!

Anon request.

[starswordartblog]

[Late for @oc-growth-and-development‘s OCtober prompts, day 22: Discovery. Uni and Nathan continue to find materials for magical clothing in weird ways. btw please don’t attempt to eat cotton.]

It had been a terrible adventure. Neither of the brothers wanted to talk about it, dragging their feet across town, hoping to get home as soon as possible. Uni's eyes turned lazily from side to side of the street, hoping to find something to talk about and distract themselves with, because their collective bad mood was really a bummer right now.

His gaze fell on the familiar building of Charming Taylor's, the best place in town for enchanted clothing and charms, and the only dude who would take Nathan's ridiculous tailoring requests —hey can you make me a coat that only covers half my body?— seriously, probably because a dude called Charming can't really complain on others being weird. That was an old joke already though, so Uni didn't feel like bringing it up again. His eyes turned to the poster pinned at the building's wall. Uni had seen a few times, a painting of some super rare cotton Taylor would pay a fortune for...

"Ah!" Uni screamed as everything finally clicked together on his head, grabbing Nathan by the shoulders and shaking him. "Nathan, I remember now, why those plants we picked up were so familiar!"

"What the hell?" Nathan shouted, pushing Uni's arms away. Uni just floated over him to the poster, pointing at it, his brother slowly coming over, grumbling as he readjusted his backpack that Uni had messed up with the whole shaking thing.

"What's it, wasn't that always here?" he glanced at the writing under the painting. "Labyrinth Cotton, very rare and powerful for enchantment, will buy any amount for good price... Wait, you think it's the same plant we found on those crates?"

"Looks like it, doesn't it? I think I still have some with me!" Uni opened the pouch on his waist and quickly took out a lump of light green cotton with shiny crimson leaves, a bit torn at various points, probably because he had shoved it on his bottomless pouch without any care.

"Why did you take so much of it?"

"Soft," was all the reasoning Uni needed. Nathan had the same habit of hoarding random trinkets from adventures so who was he to argue. "And guess I was right," he puffed his chest, "we might get some good money from Taylor with this thing!"

"Yeah sure, why not," Nathan shrugged, and they went inside.

The store was small, with wooden walls of a rich brown color, and one window at each side, which helped to make it less dark. Two mannequins stood at each side of the door, sporting a variety of outfit styles, and further on to the right were a few necklaces and brooches displayed under glass, with shiny plaques describing their magical effects.

To the left were the counter, and behind it, Charming Taylor himself, a young man with short and neat brown hair and fine clothes that displayed his skills as much as any mannequin. Because there seemed to be no customers around, he quickly stopped Nathan and Uni entering and greeted them with a wave and a big smile.

"Oh, Truefire brothers! It has been a while hasn't it, how can I help-" and then he jumped back with a gasp upon spotting the plant in Uni's hands.

"Hi, Mr. Taylor, we found some of this cotton you're looking for!" said Uni, extending his arms to show him the precious item up close while resisting the urge to laugh at his dramatic antics, for he was a very good business boy about to conduct some very good business and get some very good business money.

"That's, that's fantastic! May I appraise it?" he asked with his hands already on the lump, a slip of manners that Uni would kindly overlook for now, handing him the plant. "It's not fresh, and a bit damaged, but definitely still usable, and it's been so long since I could find it.” He laughed. “Ironically, while it's fantastic for defensive enchantments now, the plant is very delicate before fully maturing. It needs a controlled environment that's sadly beyond my skills."

"Sounds like a lot of work."

"And to think it tasted that bad," grumbled Nathan.

Taylor froze in place, blinking a few times, eyes wide and mouth making some confused noises. Yeah sure, Uni knew that must have sounded weird, but it hadn't been him starving on the worse dungeon of their lives which by the way Uni did not want to think about! "So," he tried to get the conversation back in track, "you can make enchanted clothing out of this then?"

"Of course!" Taylor snapped back to a smile, perhaps a bit too tense and loud to be genuine. "A resistant fiber well conductive to almost every enchantment, making it more versatile to work with than most armors, and light enough to be worn comfortably by pretty much anyone! To most people, it's the ultimate equipment!"

'So please stop cooking it', Uni could imagine the silent pleading on his eyes, which was so unnecessary. They had tried a bite in desperation, not a whole buffet. But it was funnier when people thought they were that stupid, so Uni made zero attempts to undo that misunderstanding.

"Wait," Nathan said, "if you made clothing with this, would it be green or red?"

"Oh? Well the natural color of the fiber is light green as you see," Taylor explained, tracing a finger over the cotton, "it should get a little darker after processing, but it can be easily enchanted to be of any color once ready."

"That's great, we can make something for Moira then!"

"Moira?" Uni tilted his head, but then it clicked. "Ah, yeah! Because she's always complaining her clothes are all red and pink with Mirian's enchantments! She won't need that if we give something just as strong!"

They both turned back to Taylor, grinning. "Can you make something then?" Nathan asked.

"Most certainly." Taylor seemed to have relaxed a little, back to his polite mannerisms and a gentle smile. "This isn't enough material for a full piece, but I'm sure I can manage it with the rest of my supplies, and for providing even this much I can give you a great discount. To confirm, it will be a gift to Moira Owen, sister of Mirian Owen, right?" They nodded. "I have made custom orders for both before, so that should make things easier. Any ideas on the design?"

"On the what?"

"What it will look like, Nathan," Uni replied. Of course he had jumped at the opportunity of making a gift without knowing a thing about it. Uni never figured out why people were against being a third wheel, lovestruck dorks are so funny to watch. "I guess Mr. Taylor can help if he already knows Moira."

"I surely can."

"Cool, I mean, you're the clothing expert so I guess that's better. Moira's gonna look pretty in anything anyway," Nathan shrugged, somehow saying the smoothest thing without a trace of embarrassment. Uni knew that would change immediately if anyone pointed out, and was tempted to do so, but decided to play the long game. It would be much better to tell Moira all about it later.

It would take these dorks like, thirty years to make her his official sister-in-law at their rate, but they were already family in every way that mattered so it was all great.

[hetacakes]

hitchhiking.

miya twins x fem! reader

snow white au, aka me making fanfics about my own fanfic

in which reader leaves her home in the big apple, the busy city, the whatever you'd like to call it, and takes a trip to a forest, the literal opposite of home. in fact, the two places are so different that in order to get there, a plane ride is preferable over a road trip. after a week, it's time to go home, with souvenirs, of course. leaving with a heavier bag is to be expected, but the empty backpack meant for said souvenirs was a bit too heavy, suspiciously heavy

aka reader just wants to relax and ends up bringing two hitchhiker foxes home

the others aren't included in this one, sorry :( one certain bluebird will make a guest appearance but other than that the storyline is in no way connected to snow white (though i made a few ~allusions~ for the Drama) anyway, i hope you love these annoying foxes as much as i do <3

also this is borderline abo but in my defense i wanted to make them seem more animal-like since they're technically wild animals

warning for cussing because life is hard and osamu hates atsumu

word count: 9,505

   You grew up in the suburbs, always just a half hour away from the big, bustling city, where everything is fast paced with streams of people working and struggling to make their dreams come true. So it was no surprise that when you were old enough to move out, you immediately made a home in a rundown, shitty apartment, taking the typical "small apartment, big dreams" approach to life. And it was true, you did have a dream, a big dream. While you could have been anything else: a doctor, a lawyer, a profession that would make your parents happy and keep you reliably comfortable your whole life, you could never picture forcing yourself to work through something that made you unhappy, and so you decided to take the writer path.

   It was as if you were meant to be part of the busy metropolis, meant to be the same as everyone else in the crowd: broke, fresh out of uni, and barely paying the rent for a small, crappy apartment. You soon learned that dreaming to reach your dream job, a job where working hours weren't physically and mentally draining but were rather hours of doing what you loved, would only become more than just a dream at the price of your blood, sweat, and tears, just like it did for everyone else.

   But after working your ass off and putting two books on store shelves, you were able to end your contract with the sketchy landlord in the shady part of town and move into a nicer, actually livable apartment in a better building with a better landlord in a better neighborhood.

   Now when you stepped out of your complex, you were greeted with the refreshing sight of people passing by, the sky a clear blue, with a soft breeze you could feel underneath your windbreaker as it ruffled your hair and rustled your sleeves, the bright red, blue, and yellow fabric almost as bright as the sun overhead. Birds chirped in nearby trees, and if you walked around and looked for a while, you could find a few cats hanging around the sidewalk or hiding behind dumpsters.

   It was all you could have ever asked for and more.

   But sometimes, city life can be a distraction, and sometimes, you really, really need a change of pace and scenery.

   Which brought you to the present, sitting with your legs underneath you on your soft couch, squishing the plush grey throw pillows and balancing your laptop on your thighs. The money you got from your newest releases was in no means enough to call you rich, but it was comfortable enough that costs weren't one of your concerns as you typed a quick Google search. An airline website was open on your screen, and you were browsing through the available tickets, looking for one that would take you to a nice getaway, a small break from the nonstop chaos of your city, which had finally begun to wear you out from the endless stress and sleepless nights.

   "Seven day long camp resort in one of the country's most beautiful and idyllic forests," said the advertisement that popped up on the side of your browser. Clicking on it, it took you to a pretty convincing website about Inari Lodge, a tourist attraction in the middle of a forest you had never heard of before. Lists upon lists of hiking trails, forest tours, and crafted souvenir shops caught your eye, and before you knew it you were booking a week's stay in one of their cabins. Sealing the deal and buying your ticket, you sat back and sighed, ready for a vacation.

   Two weeks later, it was a few hours before your flight, so obviously you had already packed. Not. You called a friend over to help and keep you company while you packed, and ten minutes later, a familiar brunet walked through the door, ruffling his chocolate brown locks.

   "It's nice to see you, Tooru," you greeted, padding closer to him as he opened his arms for a hug. "Your hugs are the best, as always," you smiled up at him, before taking a step back.

   "You would have seen me either way; I was just on my way to bother you," he said. "You're taking a trip without me? How will I survive without you?"

   "Don't be dramatic, Ruru," you chided, pulling your suitcase onto your bed. "I know for a fact that the week I'm gone is the same week the team you're coaching has tournaments."

   "Ugh, don't remind me. They're good kids, but they suck ass," Tooru groaned, flopping next to your suitcase. "Do you have everything you need?"

   "You tell me. Check things off," you answered while looking through your closet.

   "Oooh, do I get to see your clothes?" Tooru asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

   You rolled your eyes at him. "My shirts and pants, yeah. Everything under that has been packed into this," you said, holding up a medium sized makeup pouch. 

   "Bummer. Oh well, there's always next time."

   "Ruru, stop being dirty."

   He grumbled something underneath his breath, low enough that you missed it. "Well, how long is the stay?"

   "A week."

   "So you need seven sets of clothes?"

   "Yeah, assuming I don't pee my pants," you smiled over your shoulder, watching as Oikawa held back a laugh with his hand, a wide smile spread across his face.

   "Haha, you got the whole squad laughing. How cold is it there?"

   "It's pretty cold, apparently. I'm not surprised, it's farther north than where we live, and it gets pretty chilly here sometimes," you answered, pulling a few sweaters out of your closet, pairing it with random pairs of jeans you grabbed, and passed them to Tooru, who folded and put them in your suitcase.

   "Aww, aren't I such husband material? Wait here wifey, I'm gonna get your stuff from the bath," Oikawa winked, throwing up a peace sign at you before he turned and disappeared behind the white door.

   "Can you get my toothbrush stuff too? Thank you~," you called after him in a sweet singsong voice. 

   You glanced at your bookbag, still on your couch, just where you left it. You looked at the scarf in your hands, a large white scarf too bulky to wear, and decided to throw it in there, along with your laptop and charger. You put an extra pair of comfortable boots in a reusable bag, neatly settling it between your clothes. Tooru handed you another bag, and a peek inside showed you your bath and bathroom essentials. You flashed a grateful smile at him, before turning and grabbing the last few items to throw in your bookbag-turned-carry-on, which included your notebook full of your messy brainstorming, a pack of pens, and your phone charger. Zipping your suitcase closed, you pulled up the handle and hung your bag around it.

   "Okay, I'm ready. I've got everything, except you," you winked mischievously at Tooru.

   "You're flirting! It's not fair," he complained, hand grabbing at his heart, the other draped dramatically over his forehead.

   "Guilty as charged," you winked, throwing up a finger heart. "Drive me to the airport?"

   "Of course, babe."

   You had already checked in your suitcase, got your ticket safely in your hand, and all that was left for you to do was wait an hour or so until boarding. You turned to Tooru, giving him one last hug. "I'm gonna miss you and the others, Ruru," you whispered softly, even though you were only leaving for a week.

   Tooru hugged you back, holding you tightly against his chest. He let you go, before taking a step back and pulling his hoodie over his head, his shirt riding up a bit, showing some skin for a split second. "Here, wear this," he said, handing it over to you.

   You brightened, smiling like a thousand suns before slipping it on. It was huge on you, and you were almost drowning in the soft, teal blue fabric. He gave you a fond look, his eyes shining in such pure, unadulterated love that it took your breath away for a moment.

   "Thank you, Tooru."

   "Keep it warm for me, okay?"

   "I know, I know, I promise you'll see it when I come back."

   He gave you one last hug, short and sweet, before walking away, turning to look back at you one last time. You stood there until the doors slid closed behind his back, a soft smile on your face, before you turned away and walked to your terminal, hoping to kill time either shopping, eating, or sleeping.

  You could finally lean back and relax once you were secured in your seat, miles in the air. Boarding and finding your aisle wasn't much of a hassle, thank the gods, and the glass of the plane window was refreshingly cool against the tip of your nose as you peered down at the clouds passing by. You held your bookbag against your chest, looking inside at the empty space in between the few items you did pack into it. Your laptop was safely zipped up in its designated pouch, along with its charger and your notebook, and the pack of pens that had somehow opened inside the pocket, which you had found out earlier as you tried to fish one out but instead pulled the empty cardboard packaging. Your phone charger was the only thing laying on the scarf you threw in there, a makeshift nest for nothing. Well, nothing yet.

   You were excited to spend a week in a completely different environment, surrounded by lush forestry and the coos and calls of whatever animals lived there, a place where you're never truly alone, but in a good way. It was a stark contrast from the car fumes in the city air, with the only plant life in a park square and the only sounds are the constant chatter and hum of people and cars finding their destinations. There never once was an hour of silence, and while you had been able to enjoy it as your background noise while writing, it wasn't long until you finally got tired of it. You could've sworn that the city had gotten louder on purpose just to exhaust and stress you out every night, so you were more than ready to finally be able to clear your head and maybe even flesh out an idea or two.

   The sound of the intercoms crackling to life made you jolt, holding a hand to the cold imprint on your cheek left from sleeping against the window. The pilot announced that the plane was descending, and you gathered your bag and Tooru's hoodie, bundling them both in your arms.

   Truth be told, you were glad to step off the plane. You felt the chill of the outside while walking off the plane through the passenger boarding bridge and stood for a second to put the hoodie back on, humming slightly at Tooru's smell still on the cloth, a nice, sweet but not too sweet scent that made you smile to yourself.

   You got lost in thought, so your body was on autopilot when you went to pick up your luggage and almost picked up the wrong suitcase, until the actual owner picked it up first, eyeing you weirdly. With guilty, heated cheeks, you grabbed your suitcase, checked it once, then twice, then three times, and finally hopped into an Uber as fast as you could, hoping that you wouldn't be starting your first day on vacation dying of embarrassment.

   You hurriedly thanked the driver for dropping you off, then made your way into a wooden building, the wood a warm oak with a little golden bell that chimed as you walked in. A woman behind the desk smiled at you, and you sighed, happy to have nothing to worry about, now that you were finally there.

   "Hello, welcome to Inari Lodge! Is there something I can help you with?"

   "Yes, please," you said, pulling your luggage close to you. "I reserved a cabin, and I need the keys, right?"

   "Of course," she smiled at you, and for a quick second, you thought that she resembled a cat, with black hair and upturned eyes.

   "Um, I'm sorry if I'm being intrusive, but are you a mom?"

   "Haha, don't worry, you're fine! Yes I am, my name is Kozume Sakura, and I have a son," she answered kindly, and you couldn't help but feel relieved to finally have a good thing to improve your currently-going-badly day.

   "Ah, it's just that you seemed familiar to someone I've seen around campus."

   "Ah, that would most likely be my son," she said, a sweet smile spreading across her face. "Anyway, here are your keys, and I've written the directions to your cabin right here. Don't hesitate to come and ask me for anything, okay?"

   "Yeah, okay," you nodded gratefully, making sure to wave goodbye as you walked out the doors, looking at the map in your hands.

   "I can not believe how hard it was to find you," you said to the cabin as you flopped on the bed, tired of having such a conflicting day. You sat up quickly, slapping your cheeks, "No, I won't let a few fuck ups ruin everything for me."

   Grabbing your phone, you slipped it into your hoodie pocket as you walked out the door, set on exploring the area.

   You decided not to take an official trail, preferring to save them for later, which brought you to an ordinary worn dirt path as you walked aimlessly, taking rights and lefts as you pleased.

   A rustling in the bushes lining the trail caught your attention. Just as you walked closer to separate the branches and peek through, a fox fell out of the leaves, as if something had pushed it out. The fox seemed to scowl at whatever had shoved it, before it turned its attention to you.

   Before you could think better, you crouched on the ground as you cooed, resting your cheek in your palm. "Hello, cutie fox, how are you?"

   The fox stared at you, which was good, because if it started speaking you would've booked it right then and there, but also bad, because you didn't know if it was irritated by your presence. It seemed to look warily at you, not ready to attack, but not fully trusting either.

   "Come here, I want to pet you," you crooned, holding out the end of your sentence as you leaned forward against your better judgement, shifting your legs from against your chest to underneath you. Before it could make a decision, however, another fox jumped out of the bushes and straight into your arms, settling happily in your lap. Caught by surprise, you stared, while the first fox yipped at it, jumping forward and pushing it out of your lap. You watched as they tumbled to the ground, rolling as they fought and wrestled.

   "Um, okay… I think I'll just go now, bye!" You quipped before turning around and walking steadily back to where you came from, not wanting to get caught up in a wild animal fight.

   "Look at what ya did 'Tsumu, why do ya always mess everything up?"

   "Me? Me?! You were the one that jumped me!"

   "'Cause I didn't recall inviting you to our conversation, dumbass!"

   "Yer a fuckin' fox, you can't talk! You're just jealous!"

   "So are you! We're twins, shithead!"

   And they kept arguing, voices carrying throughout the forest, even as they walked along the path the pretty, perfect, kind, and amazing love of their li— , ahem, the completely normal girl from earlier took, leading to the all too familiar lodge situated at the edge of their forest.

   "That was close," you whispered to yourself as you leaned against the door, as if the foxes would be strong enough to bust it open. They hadn't even followed you, as you didn't hear them, and when you glanced behind you, nobody was there.

   "Anyway, I guess I should plan out what I'm gonna do here, I don't want this trip to be a waste," you said, opening your suitcase and putting your clothes in the drawers, setting your bathroom essentials on top of it. You grabbed your bookbag from where you had thrown it on the bed and set it on a glass table. You pulled out your notebook and flipped to a blank page, cringing as you passed by page after page of chicken scratch.

   "The only reason I can read my own handwriting is because I'm there when it's written," you muttered to yourself as you rummaged for a pen, finding one out of the set of five. You wrote down the days of the week you'd be staying there, with your first official day starting tomorrow, on Tuesday. Your flight back was scheduled for a week later, on Monday. You hummed happily, glad that your timetable worked out so neatly as you wrote down the days of the week, leaving enough space for a bullet list underneath.

   On your last day at the lodge, you made sure to make a note to leave at noon at the latest, since your flight was at six in the afternoon, and you wanted to be extra, extra, extra sure that you would not miss it. Ideally, you would be all packed up Sunday night, but knowing you and your procrastinating self, you wrote it down for the day before, even though you knew you would probably be packing the day of, just as you did before.

   You made sure to set Saturday as souvenir hunting day, hoping to bring back something for Tooru, a thank you for the help and hoodie.

   The foxes you met earlier crossed your mind, but the grumbling of your stomach reminded you to get some dinner and wrap up your day. Holding the map out in front of you, you memorized the directions to a cafe not too far from your cabin, and went on your way.

   "Hello, can I get the sandwich of the day with a cinnamon hot chocolate and a slice of pumpkin bread?"

   "Of course! Here's your total."

   The worker you were pleasantly talking to gave you a small smile before glancing to the side, as if something caught his eye. He pulled a face at whatever he was looking at, and you followed his annoyed gaze to the two foxes you met earlier, playing next to one of the bean bag chairs next to the door, near the window wall of the cafe.

   You laughed awkwardly, "Haha, um, is there something wrong?"

   He seemed to snap out of giving them the stink eye, profusely apologizing to you as he provided an explanation, "No, no, it's fine, it's just that those two foxes are some of the forest animals that walk around the lodge, except they're the only ones that are more annoying than cute. Some cats and birds and such come by and usually will just sit next to the register, you know, like nice and normal animals, but these foxes seem hellbent on walking around and biting at people's ankles and fighting and making huge messes that they can't clean up because they're damn foxes."

   You laughed again, though this time it was genuine. "You seem to have very strong feelings about their mischief," you joked, watching as he relaxed.

   "Yeah, but at the end of the day, they're still just foxes, and we make sure all the animals of the forest are safe and sound."

   And if the foxes decided to cause more trouble than usual, that was their business, their decision, and not in any way related to the slight dislike of the barista, which was in turn totally not because you got along well with him.

   After paying, you made your way to a table in the corner of the windows where the glass met the wall, looking absentmindedly at the visitors and workers walking past, occasionally with a rabbit or bird or other critter.

   "I have your hot chocolate and sandwich, and your bread will be in just a moment. Unfortunately, I also brought these two," the barista you were talking to said as he set your food and drink on the table, before glancing at the floor. Just as you were about to lean over and see, two foxes jumped up on the seat across from you, settling themselves on the table, curled up like cats.

   You waved him off with a grin, "Oh it's fine, I have a feeling they'll behave."

   You took a sip out of your hot chocolate, savoring the warmth it gave you after being in the outside chill. You picked up your sandwich and took a bite, before speaking, "Are you done fighting?"

   Both foxes stared at you, and if they were people, you were sure their mouths would be hanging open, dumbfounded and mildly offended as you nonchalantly took another bite, not waiting for them to respond or react.

   You reached a hand out while they were frozen and pet the head of the fox nearest to you. It lowered its head slightly, shyly accepting your affection.

   "Aww, you're so cute. What's your name?"

   Of course, it couldn't speak, but it batted your hand with its left paw. "So cute," you crooned, "Come here?"

   Just like before, when the fox was about to walk towards you, the other one jumped at you, and you hurried to wrap your arms around it. You stared at it in your arms, tummy up like a baby.

   You rubbed its stomach. "What about you? What's your name?"

   He happily raised his right paw, and you held it gently before putting him back on the table, which was good, because the left paw fox was a second away from pouncing on it again. The fox you set down scrambled onto the tabletop, and watched with what you would call betrayed eyes as you carried the other fox into your lap, petting its head lightly.

   "It's not your turn," you quipped, focusing your attention on the fox in your lap. "You're so cute, so cute, please be my baby~."

   The fox you dumped on the table yipped indignantly at you, and you decided to mess with him. "Oh, you're still here? Well, I guess you're okay…" you trailed off, struggling to keep a poker face as he looked at you with puppy eyes, while the other fox barked out high pitched laughs, which made him get up and get ready to jump.

   You pet him between his ears. "I'm just joking. Jeez, you're always at each other's necks," you complained, sitting back and continuing to eat your sandwich.

   As if to prove you wrong, the fox in your lap jumped on the table and curled up with the other fox, both of them leaning against each other like close brothers. Coincidentally, the waiter walked by with your pumpkin bread, watching in amazement.

   "How did you do that?" he asked, and you just shrugged in response, your attention mostly on your sandwich.

   When you finished it, you took another sip of your drink before you tore off two pieces of your bread. You offered it to them as a reward, for finally behaving themselves. They yipped happily in response, content with spending the rest of your time together eating in comfortable silence.

   You pulled yourself out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Embarrassingly, jet lag made you sleep in on Tuesday, your first official day at the lodge, and by the time you woke up, you had nothing to do but eat and jot down some story ideas, none of which stuck to you.

   So you made sure to wake up nice and early the next day, dead set on going on at least one trail. You showered and changed into a new pair of jeans and a knit grey sweater. You stood for a moment, debating if you should wear a jacket or Tooru's hoodie over it, but decided against it and deemed the sweater good enough.

   Thankfully, it was one of the warmer, sunnier days. You looked down at your map, making your way towards the open lodge outlet, taking note of the small clusters of people milling about, a familiar sight, albeit on a smaller, calmer scale. You looked up at the wooden signs pointing towards various shops, restaurants, and forest attractions. You finally found the one you were looking for, pointing to your right with the word "birdwatch" carved across. When you followed its directions, you came to a small gift shop at the start of a wide, dirt path, imprints of boots and footsteps all over the light brown ground. Walking inside, a small wind chime announced your arrival, twinkling like bird chirps, and the person behind the counter looked up.

   "Oh, it's you!" she exclaimed, recognizing your face.

   "Hello again! I thought you worked at the reception desk?"

   "I'm covering for someone's shift right now, they had finals to take. Are you here for a birdwatch?"

   "Spot on," you answered, bringing a hand up to rub the back of your head with a meek smile. Kozume winked at you, before taking out two binoculars from under the desk.

   "Well then, let's go!"

   "You know, some of these birds remind me of the ones that live near my apartment building," you mentioned, picturing the large cherry blossom tree that stretched its branches past your window. "The birds here are so much more interesting though," you lamented. "The city just has crows and small birds, but here there's robins and warblers and so many more species, with great diversity. It's like the bird version of the people back home."

   "I can imagine not many birds want to live near so many humans, but these have all of the forest to themselves. Look, the bird over there, with the blue mohawk, is called an Asian Paradise Flycatcher, and…" she trailed off, continuing your tour of one of the forest trails, before whipping an arm in front of you, exclaiming, "Watch your step!"

   You froze with your foot still in the air, watching as the fox you narrowly missed stepping on darted in front of you.

   "I'm sorry, he's not really supposed to be here, he has his own trail," Kozume frantically apologized while glaring at the fox, before sighing in relief when you responded with a small laugh.

   "It's fine, I've met him before," you reassured while looking around, searching for a certain somebody. "And I learned that he never walks alone…"

   To prove your point, the other fox you were well acquainted with joined his brother, running around in front of you.

   "Well, the next part of our trail is basically a circle back, so hopefully they run off to where they belong, I don't want you to get in trouble for messing with the animals because of them," Kozume said as you made a left, walking back to the start of the trail.

   When you opened the door to the gift shop, two furry animals zipped past your feet, and you already knew who they were before you even saw them.

   "Kozume, is it normal for these guys to always hang around here?" you asked, picking up both foxes in your arms, resting them comfortably in your arms.

   Kozume turned around to look at you, her hands still in midair, putting away your binoculars. "Actually, no, they do come by once or twice but they never hang around, and we just assumed they don't like people very much since they really only hang out with each other. They've never let anyone pet them…" she stopped mid-sentence as she watched you pet their heads and stomachs with no resistance from the two.

   You glanced up. "Huh? Oh, I don't really have a lot of experience with animals, but they're just so cute," you said, before snapping your head up, eyes wide in realization. "Hey, do you have some ribbon or something?"

   "Yes! We use them to identify specific birds we keep tabs on, especially ones we just recently nursed back to health," she explained, pulling out a box of ribbons, offering it to you. You set the foxes on the counter, watching Kozume hesitantly reach a hand out to them from the corner of your eye. They protested, but allowed her to pet them when you eyed them. Looking into the box, you fished out two ribbons, one a golden yellow, and the other a nice warm grey.

   "May I?" you asked, directing the question to Kozume. The foxes, however, decided you were talking to them and excitedly sat in front of you, pulling each ribbon towards them with their paw.

   "I think they said yes," Kozume chuckled, and you took that as your permission to put ribbons on their, er, the forest's foxes. You cooed at them, asking which one would go first. The fox with the yellow ribbon in his mouth nudged your hand with his face, making you smile.

   "Which are you, left or right?"

   The fox raised its right paw and rubbed his face as your answer, and you kept that in mind while you tied the ribbon around his neck, finishing it off with a nice bow. You did the same to the other fox, who voluntarily shook your hand with his left paw, just in case you forgot. By the time you were done, both foxes were playing on the counter, ribboned bows securely on their necks.

   "What if you started working here? The way you can interact with the animals so easily is honestly amazing," Kozume asked, springing the question on you out of the blue.

   You jumped, before you began rubbing the back of your head sheepishly, "Ah, I would love to, honestly, but I work as an author, and it's best if I stay relatively close to my publishing company."

   Kozume smiled understandingly, "Yeah, I figured. Well, just know that me and the foxes will be missing you hundreds of miles away." Then she brightened, pulling out her phone, "Put your number in, so we can stay in touch, and so I can keep an eye on my son," she winked cheekily as you accepted her offer.

   While the two of you were occupied, focused on your conversation, the two foxes stopped playing, standing abruptly and whipping their faces towards you.

   Loud crying made you turn away from Kozume and look for the source of the high-pitched whining, popping the question "who's making those crying puppy sounds?" into the air.

   Your eyes landed on the foxes, both of which were crying and walking towards you, tugging at your sleeve and rubbing their heads against your arms. Your heart melted, and you turned to Kozume, pity written across your face.

   "When I said they would miss you, I didn't think it would be this much…"

   "No, you can't come in here! I'll be kicked out if I let you guys in!"

   The foxes, still with the ribbons tied perfectly and safely around their necks, were looping around your legs, blocking your entrance to the cabin you've rented. They both looked up at you and cried, their whines catching the attention of some workers and visitors nearby.

   "Okay, fine! If I get in trouble, it's your fault," you relented, turning the knob and carefully opening the door, watching as they slipped in, leaving you to shut the smooth oak door quietly behind you as you flipped on the light switch.

   The second you let electric light flood the cabin, you realized the foxes were nowhere to be seen. Only mildly worried, since you knew they were at least somewhere inside, you shrugged it off and walked to the dresser, pulling out Tooru's hoodie and some sweatpants, before making your way to the bathroom.

   Out of nowhere, a fox came zooming at your feet, eager to come inside with you. This time, you were firm as you said, "I'm going to shower, so you can back off and play around while I'm in the bathroom, alone, with no perverts!"

   The grey fox started laughing at the peeping fox, which you realized was the yellow ribboned one. As expected, he launched at his brother, and you took the distraction as an opportunity to step inside the bathroom and shut the door behind you, locking it just to make sure.

   Freshly showered, with your comfortable, warm clothes on, you shuffled out of the bathroom, already expecting the foxes right there, having to step over them to make your way to the bed. They jumped up with you, but once the grey fox came close enough to sniff your hoodie, it barked indignantly, biting at the hoodie.

   "Hey! This isn't mine, it's Tooru's, so I can't let you destroy it!" you chided, pulling your sleeve away. Apparently you had said the wrong thing, because both foxes started pulling your sleeves together, before you yanked your arms out of their grips.

   "Tooru doesn't even smell bad, he smells nice," you said, pulling the hoodie up to smell the familiar scent, the aromas of chocolates and sweets in fresh air, reminding you of the skies back at the city: the smells of bakeries and cafes wafting through the air and birds chirping above you every time you walked down a street. Still, when the foxes continued growling, you reluctantly tugged the sweater off and stayed in just a white t-shirt, an old, stretched out shirt with the print on the front long since faded and gone.

   When you plopped back on the bed, the foxes crowded towards you, close enough that if you didn't know better, you'd think that they were trying to get you to forget about Tooru and focus on them. Subconsciously taking a breath, you caught the smell of a forest clearing or meadow, a smell of fresh grass and fresh air and petrichor, which you would expect from foxes that were supposed to stay and play in the forest, but you also noticed slight variations in the scent, obviously coming from either fox.

   Yellow ribbon had a scent like honey, with a strong undertone of a woodsy musk, which made you picture drinking tea sweetened with the golden syrup right outside your cabin. 

   Grey ribbon had a strong campfire scent, the smell of crackling wood and fire and melting chocolate. A scene under a clear night sky surrounding a fire with the aroma of cinnamon in the air came to mind, and you let yourself get lost in thought, your senses being occupied with new scents, sights, and imagery.

   If the foxes were human, their faces would surely have the widest, shit-eating grins, smug and satisfied at having you distracted from the minor annoyance from earlier and focused on them, just as they wanted.

   You snapped out of it. "You little—, you just want me to give you attention and affection and baby you," you accused, pushing them away from your face. They didn't protest or bark at you, and you figured it was because they knew they were guilty as charged. "Jeez, you're acting like Tooru is a threat or something…"

   You heard two big sighs, and blinked in surprise at the foxes as they settled onto the plush white covers. Maybe it was because they were so human-like and made you honestly contemplate whether they could understand you or not, or maybe it was because the only animal you've heard sigh is your mom's dog back at your family home, but whatever it was, it made you think, for a split second, that the foxes were humans turned animals, kind of like the frog prince. But that was stupid, so you shook your head, got up and turned off the lights, opening the curtains but keeping the blinds closed, and settled back into bed as slats of moonlight came from the spaces between the blinds.

   The foxes climbed into your arms, and you held them close to you as you fell asleep, telling yourself it was only because you had crossed the line earlier, even though deep down you knew that wasn't the real reason.

   You pulled the two fluffy sources of heat closer to you, unwilling to open your eyes and start the day. It's only when the heaters started licking your face that you panicked and freaked out.

   High pitched yips made the events of yesterday evening rush back to you, and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes tiredly, surprised that you had a good night's sleep with two, technically, wild animals.

   You scooped the drowsy foxes into your arms before making your way to the big wooden door and pushing it open, setting the foxes on the ground.

   "You weren't even supposed to be in there, you know," you said as the foxes tried to get back in, pawing at the door. You shivered, the chill in the air numbing your exposed skin and wrapping around your bare arms, and you hurriedly shooed them away before retreating back inside the warmth of the cabin.

   Safely bundled in a sweater from your university under a hoodie, one of your own this time, you joined a group going for the fox trail, wondering if you'd see yours.

   Pointedly ignoring how you immediately thought of them as "your" foxes, you listened to the tour guide, an employee you hadn't met yet, talk about how the foxes don't always show on the trail.

   "That's a shame, let's just hope for the best," other visitors and families whispered around you, with some of them saying they didn't see that many foxes yesterday, only a few odd ones out here and there. Knowing where they actually were the day before, you stifled a laugh, even as your ears turned red with guilt and embarrassment, before following at the back of the group as they started the trail.

   Luckily, you saw a few grey and brown foxes, who seemed like actual normal foxes and not borderline sentient, but around the middle of the trail it was basically deserted.

   "Let me try to call them," the guide offered, bringing his hands up to cup his mouth and whistle loudly.

   Silence answered, with no signs of anything coming to visit. 

   The tour guide encouraged the group to call out and whistle, and various whistles and voices rose from the group.

   Not wanting to draw attention to yourself, you crouched low, at eye-level with the bushes, and softly called out for two specific foxes, your hello muffled by the rest of the crowd.

   You gave up, feeling stupid and unconvinced that your almost-whisper would carry over the noise of the crowd, and sat on the ground, legs folded under you, deciding to wait until the group either got tired or another fox actually showed up for them. Just then, the bushes in front of you started to rustle, and your lovely grey ribboned fox jumped out, immediately crawling into your lap to nuzzle your face.

   The people closest to you turned at the noise and noticed you cuddling with him on the ground, and word started spreading throughout the group that someone had successfully lured out a fox.

   "Look! There's one running this way!" the ones at the front of the group called, and you looked just in time to see your other fox running towards you, straight past the tour guide and the rest of the group. You smiled fondly at them, before lowering your face to let both of them rub their cheeks against yours.

   "Ma'am, could you please not touch the animals?" the tour guide told you timidly, obviously not wanting to reprimand you for being able to actually call out foxes on the designated fox trail, but you understood it was mostly so others didn't start getting any ideas, thinking they had permission.

   You nodded sheepishly, lightly putting them on the floor before standing up, wiping the dust off your knees. However, the whole group watched as the foxes looped around your feet, even going so far as to jump up and paw at your thighs.

   "Do you work here? You're so good with animals!" a mom in the crowd asked, and you looked at the actual worker, unsure of what to say. He stared back at you with just as much confusion, before shrugging, leaving you to make up a convincing story on the spot.

   "Actually, these foxes used to live near me, but I live in a city, so I brought them here so they'd be safer than on the streets," you fibbed, though you gave yourself a pat on the back for how reliable the story was. If anyone really did have to ask, yes, you did live in a city, and yes, you would one hundred percent bring foxes and other animals to a forest or wildlife lodge. Did that really happen? No, but could it? The answer was yes, and you sighed in relief when the mom turned, accepting your answer. You giggled when the tour guide released a breath he didn't even know he was holding, and he continued the trail, sending a discreet wink your way.

   You didn't notice the way your foxes growled at that, and if someone had asked you why you had two foxes right at your heels, walking next to you protectively like a pair of guard dogs, you'd blink in confusion, oblivious to the reality of their words.

   Before you knew it, it was Saturday, souvenir shopping day. You slung on your bookbag, ready to put some weight in it.

   At the lodge's shopping centre, you saw gift shops, clothing shops, and random trinket shops alike. In the gift shop, you found crystal figurines of animals in and around the lodge, and a cute little bird the color of a clear sky caught your eye. For some reason, it reminded you of Tooru, and you couldn't stop yourself from buying it and watching as the cashier wrapped it in paper before setting it in a white velvet box, cushioned and safe. Huh, crystal bird, blue, bluebird. You may have found another nickname for Ruru. You absentmindedly slipped it into your bag, happy to have found what you were looking for so fast and a new nickname.

   But stores weren't anything if not eye-catching, and the shelf of plush animals distracted you. The fox plushies, specifically, were so similar to actual foxes that they'd be perfect replacement cuddle buddies for when you went back home to your big city.

   But then you felt incredibly embarrassed and childish for that, so you shook your head as you walked out of the shop, ignoring the way that thought stuck in your head like a moth to a lamp.

   Still, you found yourself walking through store after store after store. Once you finally snapped out of it, you had just stepped out of the birdwatching souvenir store, all too aware of the set of postcards themed after the various birds you could spot on the trail. You told yourself that the blue mohawk bird on the front was a great reminder of both the trail and Kozume, and made a mental note to get her to write something before you left, lessening your guilt over having bought something almost useless.

   By the time you came back to the cabin, your wallet felt significantly lighter while your bookbag was very obviously heavier. You had stuffed the velvet box, postcard deck, two maroon sweaters with "Inari Lodge" printed across the front with the forest's logo, and a large and heavy book about spirits and legendary deities that guard and dwell in the forest. According to the summary on the back, the book was basically a collection of the myths and legends surrounding the forest, including one about people that could transform from animal to person and back again. The cover of the book immediately made you think "grimoire", and you were set on buying it, if not for the stories, then for the aesthetic.

   You wondered briefly if it was real as you unclasped the leather string binding the book shut and flipped through yellowed pages with torn edges, looking at all the pictures that looked believable hand drawn and writing in a language you could only understand when you squinted your eyes.

   You had wrapped everything in the two sweaters, and then in the white scarf, making sure they were safe and at no risk of being crushed or damaged, especially the crystalline figure.

   "Are ya sure she isn't coming back?"

   "Yes, 'Tsumu, last I checked she was dropping off her keys to Kozume."

   "But she'll be back soon?"

   "Yeah no shit, genius, that's why you either get in here with me or stay behind."

   "Hey, I'm just makin' sure you're prepared for this y'know, in case you start crying for momma or somethin'."

   "Shut yer face and die."

   "What do we do now?"

   "I don't wanna pay for a ticket, 'Samu."

   "Me neither, but we can't hitch a ride in her carry-on anymore, it's going through TSA."

   They both leaned against the wall, realizing that they were both stupid and their plan was stupid squared.

   Atsumu looked up, the ribbon around his neck moving with him, and he watched you walk into the bathroom, leaving your luggage outside the door. He nudged Osamu, pointing at the bathroom door.

   "Nice," he praised.

   And if people saw two foxes crawling into a bookbag? It's the airport at three in the alternate airport timeline, who cares.

   "My bag is so heavy," you complained, flopping into your assigned seat. It was another window seat, and the view of the land underneath becoming smaller and smaller until it was covered by a sea of clouds made you feel a little better. Still, how did your bag get that heavy? When it was empty, it was literally lightweight, and when you were still shopping, it wasn't that hard to carry it as you went from store to store. You groaned, rolling your shoulder from the pain of carrying the boulder of a bag.

   "That's what I get for buying so much," you berated yourself, opening the flap and looking inside. Surprisingly, two fluffy foxes were curled up in there, resting comfortably on your white scarf. For a moment, you thought your foxes had hitched a ride and were coming home with you, but you'd obviously notice that, right? And besides, you did see the stuffed animals in the gift shop.

   "I can't believe I actually bought the stuffed foxes just because I'll miss the real ones," you huffed, blushing slightly, as if the foxes were there and could hear you. But the foxes were not there, you had left them at the lodge, so you settled for stroking the faux fur of the stuffed foxes, the silky smooth strands so lifelike that if you didn't know better, you'd think it was real.

   "Finally," you gasped, face planting into the soft fluffy white of your blanket. You tugged off Tooru's sweater and folded it neatly, walking out and placing it on your counter, ready to return. You rummaged through your bag, that you had dropped to the floor as soon as you opened the door to your room, and tugged out the scarf from underneath your very suspiciously heavy fox plushies. 

   You unwrapped the bundle, pulling all your souvenirs out before bunching up the scarf and throwing it into your laundry basket. You set the book and postcard deck on your bookshelf, next to other various books and collectibles you've found over the years, and grabbed the velvet box, feeling its smooth texture against the palm of your hand. You set it on top of the teal hoodie, before changing out of your jeans and shirt into shorts and an oversized tee, boyfriend style.

   Ugh, a boyfriend. You've been single for way too long.

   "Please let me wake up to a miracle," you prayed, closing your eyes and pulling a serene face, before immediately flopping over and falling asleep.

   Of course, you do not expect to wake up cuddled up to a warm chest while listening to someone messing around in your bathroom, the shutting of cupboards and a phone call drifting from the white door.

   You laid there, relishing the comfort that came from being flush against someone's side, tucked under their arm.

   That's when it hit you that strangers were in your house.

   You bolted up, using your hand to choke back the scream bubbling from your throat, not wanting to let either person know you were awake.

   You looked down, realizing that you had just left the side of a very handsome and very shirtless man, his eyes slowly opening when he felt the absence of your warmth, showing you his beautiful light brown eyes, getting lost in the gold specs like stars.

   You ripped your gaze away from him and moved to swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Unfortunately for you, the mystery man reached up and tugged you back down to him, holding a finger up to his very pink and very kissable and very attract— , wait, no. He held his finger against his lips, shushing you.

   "Wait, he's coming out. Stay beside me."

   Just as you opened your mouth to retaliate, he had already thrown your white covers over the both of you and looped an arm around you, his hand resting at your waist.

   The door to the bathroom opened, and yet another stranger walked out, though it was only him, making the total number of intruders two. He had the same eyes and lips, which were the definition of picture perfect, and he was also lacking in the shirt department. His brows furrowed, and you could already feel the argument starting.

   "What the hell do ya think yer doin'?!"

   "She prefers me."

   "No she doesn't!"

   "It's true, right doll?"

   Both pairs of identical eyes stared at you, and you started panicking under the pressure.

   "I don't even know you! This is literally stranger danger!" you yelled, jumping out of the warmth of both the blanket and the guy in your bed, dodging as his hand reached out to pull you back in.

   You pressed your back against the wall, staying as far away from them as possible. You then realized what you were wearing, and tugged your shirt down even further, mentally slapping yourself for wearing shorts that left almost nothing to imagination with a shirt that reached your thighs, which would put you at a disadvantage if you had to fight or flight.

   The stranger finally got out of your bed and walked next to the other, but it was only once they were next to each other that you realized they were twins, identical twins. Both had dyed hair, but one was blond while the other had grey hair. Their bangs were parted to opposite sides, so they kind of mirrored each other, which made you shiver.

   "Don't ya remember us?"

   "Yeah, you liked me better."

   As they started bickering, as almost all siblings do, you noticed the two sweaters you bought sitting on the edge of the bed. Snatching them and balling them up in either fist, you threw them at them.

   "At least wear these!"

   "Those sweaters would eat me alive, but they fit you so well," you sighed, sitting on your legs on your bed, the two still standing in front of you.

   As they pulled the cloth over their head, you noticed the ribbons tied around their neck as they popped free from the neckline. You felt your heart sink to your stomach when you realized they were grey and yellow ribbons.

   "'s not like we've never slept with you before," yellow ribbon said.

   "You even asked me to be your baby," grey ribbon added, catching his twin's elbow in his hand.

   "I haven't even been in the city for the past week! I was at the lodge forest thing."

   "So were we."

   "Yeah, we came from there."

   "Then how did you end up here?!"

   "We came with ya," yellow ribbon said matter-of-factly while the other shrugged in agreement.

   Your breath got caught in your throat as you flipped the flap of your bookbag over, looking at the empty space in dismay.

   "Where are my foxes?"

   "That's us!" they chorused, identical smirks of pride on their faces, as if being yours was something to show off or brag about. 

   "They were plushies! People cannot be plushies!"

   "No, they were real foxes, and we're real foxes, 'cause they were us."

   "Where the hell would I get real foxes?!"

   They saw the moment you pieced two and two together, your face turning from one of anxious anger to acceptance as you realized what they were trying to say.

   The ribbons. Their colors. The plushies that felt a little too real. That one night in your cabin. The day you fed them in that one cafe.

   They were your foxes.

   "Yup," grey ribbon nodded his head, and you shut your mouth, not wanting to accidentally say what you were thinking again.

   "Why did you come here? You belong in the forest!"

   "No, we're your foxes," they said in unison.

   "No you aren't," you groaned, covering your face with both your hands.

   The two of them had attached themselves to your side, and when you said that, they seemed to get even more annoyed, and so they snuggled even closer to you, an arm slung around your shoulders and around your waist.

   "What are your names?" you finally relented, relaxing in their grip.

   "Miya Osamu," the one with the grey ribbon said, pulling you closer from the waist.

   "Miya Atsumu, the better twin," the one with the yellow ribbon retorted, tugging you back with the arm around your shoulder.

   "Stop pushing me around! We barely know each other!"

   "Can you stop with that already?" Osamu said, though he had no actual anger or malice behind his words.

   "Or do we have to remind you who you belong to?" Atsumu said suggestively, and you braced yourself for whatever mischief he had planned.

   In one moment, you were sitting normally in the middle of your bed. In the next, you were back against your headboard, your head on your pillows. And you became a pillow, as Osamu tucked his face in your neck and Atsumu rested his head on your chest.

   "We're taking a nap together again whether you like it or not," Osamu said decisively, and you could tell that was that, no arguing.

   "At least let me pull those off, it's embarrassing," you complained, your hand drifting up to Atsumu's ribbons.

   "No," he said, catching your hand warningly. Something in his voice made you obey immediately. "That's mine."

   "Well this is mine too!" you replied heatedly, bringing a hand up and cradling Osamu's head against you. But instead of doing anything or acting out like any normal person would, Osamu started purring, a satisfied grin on his face while you had a look of dismay, your cheeks reddening. 

   Atsumu glared at him, moving your hand so your arm was wrapped around him, pulling him closer as well. You got the hint and raised your other hand to run your fingers through his hair, leaving you to deal with two purring fox-shifting idiots.

   "Fine, you're both mine, I guess," you gave up, fighting back a blush and pretending that statement didn't warm your heart as much as it did.

   "And your ours," they chorused happily, and you didn't even try to hide the pink spreading across your cheeks when they rubbed their faces against yours.

   "Okay," you said quietly, accepting the fact that them being yours and you being theirs made you feel something happy and content in your chest, something that was dangerously close to love. If you were like them, you were one hundred percent sure you'd start purring, too.

   I mean, you did say you wanted a boyfriend, and the universe was kind enough to give you more than what you bargained for.

   The sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with yellow and red while the blues and purples of night crept closer. The clouds were fluffy and lined with silver, their normal white reflecting pink hues.

   The last rays of sunlight filtered through a sheer peach curtain, coating everything in gold lighting.

   Three people were sleeping soundly on a bed, the white blanket thrown over their tangled legs, breaths even and in sync. Dyed grey hair peeked out from under a chin, and blond hair tickled a collarbone. Natural hair was sprawled out on the white stuffed pillows.

   Osamu opened an eye, before raising his head and pressing a soft kiss to the sleeping beauty's lips.

   And if he raised a finger to his lips? Well, I can't say what happened next, because my lips are sealed.

oh my GOD did this take forever between writing this and school and the fanart of this (which i’ll post later) i took way longer than i normally would

that being said, i hope you still like it <3

[panharmonium]

no man can know his destiny...

...because if we told him what it was, he might decide to tell destiny to bugger off!

all right, folks.  i am obviously eight years late to this party (party?  maybe not party; that’s...maybe not the best word), and i am aware that everybody who was ever in this fandom has probably already consumed all the finale reaction posts that they ever needed to read.  i am putting this S5 finale round-up together for my own purposes anyway, because now that i’m no longer avoiding spoilers, i want to make sure i get all of my own thoughts down on paper before i accidentally run into anyone else’s. 

fair warning before anyone decides to invest their time: this post is sixteen single-spaced pages long.  i am putting it under a cut here, so feel free to scroll on by.  

with that said, off we go!

in a land of myth and a time of magic (i fell in love with a ten-year-old tv show):

so, to preface this, i think it’s pretty fair to say that i very rarely complain about merlin.

i watched the first episode of merlin on a complete whim - i was by myself, on a trip to atlanta, and despite the fact that i usually never sit down and just decide to watch random tv, i was scrolling around on netflix before bed and saw merlin and thought “oh hey, that’s always been on my list as something i thought i might like.”  i clicked it.  i watched it.  i thought it was going to be a silly, fun, low-investment show i could use to fill the spare time on my trip.

it was silly.  and it was fun.  it was not low-investment.  i fell in LOVE.

and i know this comes through in the way i write about it, like - the vast majority of the blogging i have done about merlin has come from a place of THIS THING IS GREAT AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S GREAT.  sometimes the story will go places that stress me out or make me sad, but usually that hasn’t impacted my enjoyment, because generally, when i evaluate stories, i react more to my perception of the story’s integrity, as opposed to whether or not i personally ‘liked’ the ending.  so i might personally prefer stories that don’t end in tragedy, but if the story has earned its ending, with integrity, then i won’t feel any desire to criticize it.  i will talk about how sad i am or how low it made me feel, but if the story has earned its ending then i can’t - i just can’t argue with it.  i have to respect it.  

and i think i’ve demonstrated that well enough in all the other blogging i’ve done about merlin.  with 5.10 and 5.11 particularly; i felt those episodes were impossibly tragic and dark and SO unhappy, but i respected the storytelling, despite this.  i wasn’t hopping on here to make posts like ‘ugh this is getting so dark this episode sucks!!!’  i was writing about the story they were crafting - which, yes, WAS getting dark, certainly - and about how impactful it was (even when that impact was just “OUCH”).  i was still deeply engaged, at that time.

so - i think i have earned the right to say honestly that the following analysis does not come from a place of ‘this was SAD and that makes it automatically CRAPPY!!!’  that’s not how i assess things.  5.10 and 5.11 were devastating, but i respect them.  i loved watching them.  i would watch them again.  i thought that the show had the potential to pull off something masterful, after those two episodes.

but the one thing this series has always struggled with a little bit is follow-through.  bbc merlin is at its finest when they aren’t afraid to go barreling after the moral ambiguity and complexities that their show inherently contains (‘to kill the king,’ ‘the sorcerer’s shadow,’ ‘the disir,’ ‘the kindness of strangers,’ ‘the drawing of the dark,’ to name just a few), and they achieve real greatness in those moments.  but they sometimes pull back from the difficult questions they pose.  and i can’t tell if it’s that they’re deliberately chickening out, or if it’s just some variation of carelessness or ineptitude that makes them fumble the ball, but the end result is that they hit these amazing highs of “wow, i can’t believe we’re finally going there; we’re addressing the central conflict” and then all the complicated questions they asked just get dropped.   

it happens in ‘the sorcerer’s shadow’ (which is an amazing episode otherwise), when kilgharrah kind of...word-of-god handwaves away merlin’s conflict, saying ‘we just gotta wait for arthur to be king, that’s the right way to go about this.’  and they double down on this by having merlin say that it was gilli, not merlin, who had betrayed their kind - which is just not - that is not what that episode had been saying, up until that point!  the entire point of that episode was that yeah, merlin has in fact gotten himself into a position where he’s made a morally questionable decision to serve a regime that oppresses him and others like him.  they show us how conflicted he feels when he’s confronted by this reality.  they show us that he knows it’s true.  it was brilliantly done - and then they pulled WAY back.

but even then i don’t think it was like...unforgivable, at that point.  it doesn’t break the story’s integrity; i can definitely believe that merlin would take that tack - i’m not sure he’s quite ready to confront/accept the reality of his situation at that point.  so i get it.  it wouldn’t be a big deal - if the show had eventually addressed/followed through on this conflict in the end.

and i think the same is true of the episodes leading up to the finale.  they were dark and complicated and tragic, but they were telling an important story; and none of the terrible things we saw happening to the characters were dead-ends, story-wise.  there was a place for that story to go.  there was room for morgana to have her arc resolve in a meaningful way.  there was room for mordred’s arc to do the same.  the place in which we found ourselves at the end of 5.11 was as dark and complicated as merlin had ever been, and it was still bursting with potential.  

and then you watch the finale and it’s just - empty.  i described it as a paper castle in some other post, and that’s what it felt like.  no substance.  it was like they stuffed us on a bullet train and whizzed us past material that should have taken an entire season to handle, and you didn’t see any of it or feel anything because the trip took ten seconds and the scenery was a blur.

it honestly felt like they thought they had another season coming and then someone popped in and told them “actually you have to wrap this up in two episodes.”  i can’t think of another way to reasonably explain how dramatically the quality of the storytelling downshifts between 5.11 and 5.12.  i wasn’t watching the show then, so i don’t know, but it’s - at least if that had been the case, i would UNDERSTAND what had happened.  it’s just insanity, otherwise.

so anyway, with all that said, here are my own reasons for why i think the last two episodes were objectively bad writing, as opposed to just writing i don’t personally like.  nobody is obligated to agree with me on any of these points, but i’m also not putting them up here to debate them, really - i truly believe that almost everything i watched in the last two episodes was poorly-conceived.  

(there’s an entirely different discussion to be had, of course, about the relative merits of ending your, uh, hopeful fantasy story on a bummer of a death knell, and i might touch on that later, but that’s a little bit more subject to personal preference, and honestly, it’s not the point i’m trying to make here, because to be frank, these episodes are bad without even getting into who lives and who dies.)

i. plot contrivances: EVERYWHERE.

i don’t mean plot devices.  plot devices are important, in a story.  a plot device is something like how merlin throws excalibur into the lake in 1.09, and then is able to retrieve it in 3.13 because of a choice he made to show someone compassion in 2.09, and thus he is able to save the day and defeat the undead.  excalibur is a plot device, in that scenario - the ability to use it in 3.13 unfolds organically.

a plot contrivance, on the other hand, is artificial.  it’s unnaturally convenient.  it doesn’t feel convincing.  it’s what you reach for when you can’t think of a way to make something happen, but a writer is supposed to look at these things when they edit and think ‘hey.  if i can’t make this happen without it being contrived, maybe it shouldn’t happen.  maybe i need to look at this again.’

so like, from the very beginning of 5.12, we have:

the face-sucker slug.  never seen one before.  never heard of it before.  never given any indication that any such creature ever existed.  never given any indication that “stealing” magic was something that could even happen.  no idea where morgana found it.  created for and introduced in this very episode, just to give merlin a reason to go to the crystal cave; removed from the episode ten minutes after it’s introduced, forgotten.

gwaine’s sudden girlfriend.  NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE.  NEVER HEARD OF HER BEFORE.  NEVER GIVEN ANY INDICATION THAT ANY SUCH CREATURE EVER EXISTED.  where does she come from?  why do we care?  (surprise: we don’t.)  created for and introduced in this very episode for the sole purpose of explaining how morgana could get the information she needed to interfere with everyone’s plans, which was a contrived idea in and of itself, because it relied completely on making gwaine act like the kind of dope who tells a civilian military secrets.  

you just.  you can’t.  if your plot point can’t function without a) introducing a brand new character in the penultimate episode of your show and b) forcing a long-standing character to do something they just wouldn’t do, you can’t use it.  you just can’t.  you have to figure out something else.

this lady’s very existence is nonsense.  absolutely, utterly contrived.  to waste that much time on a character we’ve never seen before and don’t care about, in the last two hours of your five-season show...incredible.

morgana’s army.  they outnumber camelot’s forces “five to one.”  where did they come from?  how did she amass such a force?  in season 4 she was losing all her allies - the episode with annis and caerleon was specifically designed to show us how people were turning from her methods and aligning with arthur.  and then she spent two years in a pit.  how did she amass such a force in such a short period of time?  what could she offer them?  why do they fight for her?  there is no explanation of who the “saxons” are or what they want - the show just needed an army for camlann.

aithusa.  aithusa was, apparently, just a vehicle to enable mordred to obtain a blade forged in the dragon’s breath.  beyond that, he served no purpose.  he literally just vanishes, along with that entire storyline - the future of the dragons, everything - just dropped, forgotten, never mentioned again.

morgana in the crystal cave.  “gee, i finally caught merlin, the guy who’s supposed to be my doom.  i think i’ll just...trap him behind some rocks.  wouldn’t want to kill him, while i have him completely powerless and at my mercy.  how then would he escape from this super powerful magical cave and ensure that the next step in this impossibly weak plot unfolds?”

the crystal cave itself.  what is the entire point of this detour?  killing time while arthur and merlin are separated?  i mean, the whole “merlin loses his magic for all of five minutes” thing was a contrivance itself, just to ensure that merlin and arthur had a reason to be separated during the battle.  but even putting that aside, once merlin is in there, and balinor says ‘you have to go into the light to discover who you truly are, you have power of which you cannot conceive’ - what purpose did that serve?  all we see merlin do once he gets to camlann is call down some lightning.  he’s done that before.  he...he did that in season one.  

the entire detour in the crystal cave changed nothing.  it was a contrivance to mark time so merlin didn’t arrive at camlann at the same time as everybody else.

arthur at camlann.  the idea that we are supposed to believe that arthur somehow finds himself all alone on that battlefield, long enough for mordred to sneak up on him and stab him and for him not be found by a single other human being until merlin shows up.  he is the KING.  there is no conceivable circumstance where his army lets him go wandering around by himself after the battle has been mostly won.  it doesn’t make sense.  it isn’t believable.  it’s a contrivance to make sure mordred has an opportunity to get him.

“only the sidhe possess such magic.”  the SIDHE?????  you guys.  the last time we saw the sidhe was in that gooftastically wonderful filler episode where a pixie wanted to bone gaius.  you can’t - you just - you can’t center your entire ‘this is how we save arthur’ plan on a race of beings that we haven’t heard of since early season 3 and which we never knew anything more about than that they once possessed a farting princess.

“not without the horses.”  are you telling me.  that the reason they don’t make it to this fabulous isle in time.  is because.  their horses.  were conveniently scared away. that’s what killed the glorious once and future king.  the horses ran off.  

and the horses conveniently ran off because they were conveniently scared away by morgana, who conveniently happened to show up because she was conveniently put in a position to extract information from someone who conveniently knew where arthur was going - all of this, of course, predicated on the impossible-to-believe assumption that a) gwen would ever tell anybody where arthur was going, when the stakes were this high, when nobody needed to know and camelot had already fallen prey to spies multiple times, and b) that gwaine and percival would, if they did for some reason know where arthur was headed, be so foolish as to literally serve themselves up to morgana on a plate, when they know that the whole point of this scheme is that they WANT morgana to hang out in brineved wasting her time in order to allow arthur to reach the isle safely. 

I SAY AGAIN: if your plot point cannot function without making characters do things we just do not believe they would do, you can’t use it.  you can’t.  you have to revisit what you’re doing.  you can’t just make anything happen that you want to in order to drive the story to the place you want it to go.  it has to make sense.

kilgharrah.  is called just in time to deliver a pat explanation of the ending, but not in time to shuttle arthur over to the isle?  merlin could have called for a ride ages ago. merlin and arthur weren’t traveling fast, or far.  it’s not like kilgharrah was having that much trouble getting around.  we see that he handles carrying the two of them just fine.  we see that he flies away, zoop, no problem.  there is no reason for him not to have been called even a single hour sooner, other than that the plot demanded that he could not be, because the plot demanded that arthur not get there in time.  

it breaks the boundaries of disbelief.  it takes you right out of the story.  it reminds you, inappropriately, that all of this is a thing someone planned (poorly).  all of it is contrived.

ii. dropped plotlines

i can’t believe i actually have to say this.  

i’ve seen tv shows tank before, but usually, when tv shows tank, it’s just that the quality of their writing has declined, and they’ve resorted to resolving their plotlines in ill-conceived ways. 

i have never, in my life, seen a tv show DROP all of its major plotlines before it ends.  i have never seen a tv show just.  FORGET.  to address their premise.  never.  i still can’t believe it actually happened.  i’m sitting here trying to remember if the merlin finale was actually some kind of anxiety-induced fever dream i had while i was gearing myself up to watch the last few episodes.  

merlin bbc had, at its outset, two major plotlines.  these would be supplemented later by other throughlines (many of which were also dropped), but the two major ones always stayed the same, one for arthur and one for merlin:

for arthur, the question of him one day becoming the greatest king in history and uniting the land of albion 

for merlin, the question of him one day liberating the magical community from oppression and being able to live free from fear

those were the two constant throughlines in this show, from episode one.  the struggle to unite the land of albion, and the struggle to make the land a free and just one for ALL of its people, not just those without magic.  

this show, somehow, ended without actually addressing either of these things.

it’s amazing.  i don’t even know how they managed it.  somehow, this show ended without actually ending.

to elaborate on this (and other dropped plots):

a) the once and future king: we never see a united albion.  the show is driving at it, in seasons 4 and 5, when arthur makes peace with annis in S4, and then gets annis’s permission to travel through her lands in 5.01, and then helps Mithian’s father in S5, and makes peace with odin in 5.04, and then tries to make peace with the sarrum in 5.08, and it’s all making sense, and you expect that plotline to continue until we see its eventual fulfillment at the end of the show.  you would expect, if this were supposed to be such an important thing, that the big struggle at the end of the series would have been all the peoples of albion united together against a threat.  

but we never see any of these kingdoms again.  we never hear a peep out of them. no one ever mentions them.  it’s like they all just vanished into the wind.  as far as we’re aware, camelot fights morgana’s army on their own - it’s like annis and odin and godwyn and rodor and those five kings that came together to sign the treaty in 2.10 never existed.  

the dragon says at the end, “all you have dreamt of building has come to pass,” but we’re just like - WHERE?  we literally didn’t see it!  it was never shown to happen! you can’t just say that the most important outcome of your five-season series happened when it never did!  it demonstrably NEVER DID!  you can’t…..oh my god, you can’t...try to end your show offscreen, lol; i don’t know what else to say!

look - this is something i wrote before i knew how the series ended, when i was considering the possibility of arthur dying:

i wrote that before i even knew what happened.  that’s not the result of, you know, retroactive complaining because they killed a character and i didn’t like it.  i was doubting the idea that they would even be able to kill arthur, because i legitimately didn’t believe the show had shown us the uniting of albion yet (and they hadn’t, lol).  

it just...it truly doesn’t make sense.  something got tangled as they approached these last episodes.  in 5.10, finna tells merlin, “without you, emrys, arthur cannot build the new world we all long for,” indicating that it hasn’t been built yet.  but that scene takes place just a few weeks before the finale - you’re saying “the new world” hadn’t yet been accomplished at that point, but now, a few week later, it has?  arthur didn’t DO ANYTHING in that interval!  we saw camelot fight off a bunch of invaders (alone) like they’ve done a billion times before.  there was nothing to hint that now albion is united.  

and if finna was referring to the “new world” meaning a magical world, i mean - arthur didn’t do anything to build that, either.  he died.

something happened.  some wire got crossed.  i don’t know what it was, but it meant that the show ended without actually closing out Main Plotline #1.  

b) one day, we will be free: this show also somehow managed to end without addressing the plight of the magical community, which was THE central conflict of the show for all five seasons.  more than that, it was the show’s premise - it was how they crafted their entire idea; it was one of two defining features of their pitch to BBC: that they would “wind back the clock” to when the characters were young, and that magic in this universe would be outlawed.  

they literally abandoned the show’s premise.  the episode directly preceding the finale was entirely about camelot’s wrongdoing and the right of magic-users to stand up and fight for their rights.  it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.  and then we literally never heard a word about this struggle again.  it was dropped like a hot sack of bricks.  

IMPOSSIBLE. 

and yet 

it’s just left, twisting in the wind.  we have no idea what happened.  the one and only glimpse of camelot that we get at the end of this show has nothing to do with magic; it’s grim and somber people chanting ‘long live the queen’ in the throne room.  and then we’re gone from that place, forever, never to return.  it’s like they don’t even remember that ‘freedom for magical folk!’ was the driving source of conflict for the entire show.  you would never have known that “magical oppression” was ever a feature in this show, if you just watched the end.  camelot’s wrongs are never addressed, never referred to, never amended.  the fate of the magical community is never hinted at.  we don’t have any inkling of what happened to those people.  we literally do not even have any indication of whether the magic ban was lifted.  

it’s like none of that ever existed.  it’s like the show just FORGOT its entire premise. 

this truly might be the most unbelievable thing about the finale, for me.  i’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it.  in a roomful of writers and editors and producers, not a single person pointed out “hey uhhhh...we haven’t actually resolved either of our plots?”

i was exposed to enough vague reactions from fans to expect the finale to be disappointing.  i assumed that the show would resolve its major plotlines in ways that i either didn’t approve of or found unsatisfying.  

i did NOT expect them not to resolve their major plotlines at all.

i have never seen a tv show literally forget to end.  never.  never seen that happen before in my life.

c.) i am the last of my kind: the reveal of merlin as a dragonlord ushered in a third important plotline - his responsibility to the dragons, his duty to protect them and help them thrive.  and the question was always ‘all right, so as a dragonlord, how is merlin going to ensure the survival of the dragons as a species, since they’ve been almost exterminated - .’  and that was also dropped.  like a hot potato.  like it never was.  we never get clarity on what the heck was going on with aithusa, and then at camlann, aithusa just vanishes.  gone.  literally never to be seen, mentioned, or wondered about again.

d) i am old, merlin: this is a smaller thing, but in 5.10 the show starts this subplot about kilgharrah being unwell and merlin suddenly confronting the idea that kilgharrah is not, in fact, immortal.  and it was actually very poignant and made me emotional despite how kilgharrah kind of drives us insane.  they set us up for the idea that we are going to lose him.  they set us up to expect that we will eventually see merlin arrive at a place where he doesn’t have that voice in his ear anymore, kind of like when luke goes to cloud city and obi-wan can’t help him.  

but then, in the finale, kilgharrah just shows up like he always does, and there’s no mention of anything that came before.  he’s fine.  

it’s - it’s inconsistent, it’s not appropriate; there’s no emotional throughline.  the exchange they have in 5.10 is such a beautiful moment, when a wavering merlin asks “what will i do without you?”

and kilgharrah says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you will remember me.”

that’s such a powerful thing.  for someone like merlin, for someone who has lost so many people who mattered to him - you can feel that line expand to cover miles and miles of ground.  it’s about more than just kilgharrah.

but having kilgharrah then show up at the end of the finale to deliver his neat little explanatory summary the same way he always does dilutes that previous moment down to almost non-meaning.  there’s no emotional consistency.  they emotionally prep us for this figure’s departure, and instead he shows up, the same as always, with no reference to the fact that a few episodes ago we were getting ready to watch him leave us. 

it’s not good writing.  it just isn’t good writing.

iii. i want you to always earn your ending

i think it’s hard to come to grips with the idea that bbc merlin was specifically a show whose kind of...big premise was being a deliciously torturous slow burn up to some massive and long-awaited reveal, and then it fizzled just before it gave the audience what it had been leading up to for five seasons.  it’s really just...wow.  i’ve seen shows fizzle before, obviously, but the fact that this one was specifically built on the idea that you were waiting for something momentous (and inevitable!) to happen - which then doesn’t happen?  that’s just...hoo boy.   

the long-awaited, promised “payoff” doesn’t happen in any way that is convincing or satisfying or remotely plausible.  it’s a little walk in the woods, and it ultimately doesn’t matter, because as soon as it’s over, so is the show, and everybody except merlin is long dead.  

not with a bang, but with a whimper, indeed.

for a show that had its audience waiting on tenterhooks for five seasons for merlin’s secret to be stripped away, the fact that the show’s biggest “payoff” ended up carrying so little weight and feeling so unconvincing is truly a shame.  there was no way for the show to give this concept the weight it deserved by flying through it in thirty minutes.  the audience knows that there’s no way this could have been resolved so quickly, so everything that happens between the “reveal” (such as it was) and the end feels...false.  it doesn’t seem real.  it’s not believable.  it feels (again, to use the word that truly sums up the entire spirit of this finale) contrived.  rushed and squished together to be neatly tied up in the time they had available.

and that’s poor craftsmanship.  stories shouldn’t feel like ‘well, i needed to reach x destination no matter what, so i made this that and the other thing happen to ensure that we got there.’  a reader/viewer shouldn’t be able to sense the presence of the author.  they shouldn’t be able to feel the hand of god reaching in and arranging pieces to force a conclusion or extract an emotion that hasn’t been earned.  

stories, if they are crafted appropriately, should feel like they have no author at all.  like they just are.  like everything that happens is the natural next step to whatever came before, as if events could not possibly have unfolded any other way.  and i don’t feel like the “reveal” and arthur’s reaction to it met those criteria.  all the supposedly super sad and emotional moments they were having at the end made me feel absolutely nothing, because the things arthur says don’t feel real.  they haven’t been earned in-story.  i felt like i was watching that sequence from a hundred miles away...just like...clinical.  removed.  like i was taken completely out of the story.  like i was in the lighting booth of a theater watching some scripted scene play out below me.    

(and this might be the time to mention that this has NOTHING to do with the actors.  the entire cast was killing it.  they were AMAZING.  their performance threatened to wring emotion out of me even despite me being completely unconvinced by the idea of what was happening.)

but that aside - how can you stay immersed in something when you can feel the creator’s hand coming down and forcing a resolution that doesn’t make sense, that hasn’t been earned?  it snaps you right out of the suspension of disbelief that all stories require you to maintain in order for you to engage with them.  the writers needed arthur to say these things sometime before the end of the show, and so he says them, regardless of whether or not it would ever actually happen like that.  but i didn’t believe it, because it wouldn’t have happened like that, and so the emotional impact was zero.

here’s the truth: you can’t use lines like “i want you to always be you” and expect me to get weepy about it when you haven’t earned that kind of resolution.  it’s a false tearjerker.  the writers are relying on our previous emotional attachment to these characters and our burning desire to see merlin validated in order to slip a contrived resolution past us without actually doing the work to make it plausible.  they’re playing on our affections in order to cover up the structural shortcomings of the story they cobbled together.

i don’t like when a story tries to manipulate me like that.  i’m not going to play that game.

iv. you are destined to be albion’s greatest king (*thor face* are you, though?)

i think there are probably some people out there for whom arthur’s death would have been a dealbreaker no matter what the rest of the story looked like.  i respect that.

i’m in the camp where i could have accepted the ‘legend-compliant’ ending, if only it had been earned.  as it is, arthur is never allowed to fully realize himself before he dies.  the show keeps saying, and i quote, “one day you will be the greatest king this land has ever known,” but arthur skips off to avalon after having reigned for a whopping total of three years, during which time he is not shown to accomplish the only goal that was prophesied for him (uniting the land of albion) and during which time he also becomes further entrenched in his father’s anti-magic views (along with the hypocrisy of using magic for his own purposes), as opposed to ever seeing the error of his ways.  he doesn’t right his father’s wrongs.  he doesn’t usher in justice and freedom for all camelot’s people.  he doesn’t change the status quo in camelot much at all, to be honest - and then he dies.  and they try to tell us “there will never be another like [him].”

how?  how can that not fall completely flat?  he hasn’t accomplished his goal yet!  he hasn’t become what they’ve kept telling us he will become.  

so i can understand the ultimate plan of arthur shuffling off this mortal coil and being prophesied to return, and i could even accept that as an appropriate ending, but not when it hasn’t been earned.  the way it actually unfolded, watching this moment feels like we skipped a season somewhere.  it feels like a sham.

we’re being asked to give arthur credit for something he did not actually achieve, and it makes the whole thing feel like a farce.

v. gratuitousness and inconsistency

i had no emotional reaction when i realized they had actually killed gwaine.  

that is insane, because you know how much i love him.  but his death was so ridiculous that I actually started laughing in disbelief.  and that in and of itself should be a sign that something wasn’t working.  when your emotional beats are landing this wrong - falling this flat - something has slid fundamentally sideways with your storytelling. 

i laughed when they killed my favorite knight!  but what other reaction was i supposed to have?  it was laughably silly!  the premise itself was already foolish - that gwaine and percival would even come out here and endanger arthur in that way - and then gwaine dies because morgana used a nathair to extract information from him?  we’ve seen morgana use the nathair twice before!  she tortured elyan with it.  she used it on alator.  neither of them died.  it’s never been indicated that being tortured with this creature will kill you. which isn’t to say that it can’t be the case, but from a writing perspective, if you’re going to use a sudden inconsistency to kill a major character, it’s noticeable!  it’s jarring!  and it makes us feel, once again, that the writers just grasped at any little thing they could think of to make what they wanted to happen happen.

and then there’s the whole question of why they wanted gwaine to die in the first place.  what purpose did it serve?  gwaine didn’t have to die in order for morgana to get the information the writers wanted her to have.  and you’d assume that if they still killed him after that, that there would be a reason for it, or that it would at least...matter, somehow, but - WE LITERALLY NEVER HEAR ABOUT HIM AGAIN LOL.  i wasn’t even sure he was dead at first.  that’s how insignificant it felt.  i felt like zuko in the ember island players.

that’s it.  we never see him or percival again after that scene.  there’s this weird moment where percival examines a footprint and the implication is that he’s going to follow morgana or something, but then it never happens.  it’s like the showrunners ran out of time and were like ‘ok well, we just won’t be able to get back to that dangling thread.’  they gratuitously axed their most developed knight and then forgot they did it.

that’s why i laughed.  it was so unbelievably bad - there was literally nothing else for me to do.

vi. let the bodies hit the floor (but like, anticlimactically)

i don’t feel like i need to examine mordred and morgana’s fates too closely, because i suspect the subject of “they deserved better” has already been done to death, and that’s kind of a different conversation than what i’m dealing with here.  i’m not here right now to argue that they should have lived (though of course, yeah, i have my opinions on what would have made a better story), i’m just here to deal with how ineffectively the story we did get was executed.

one thing that amazes me is that when i watched the S5 deleted scenes, i realized that the showrunners did in fact originally have the right ideas about making morgana and mordred’s arcs deeper/more nuanced, but somehow these ideas never made it into the final cut.  there are two deleted scenes that change so much about what could have been - one where arthur and merlin are talking about morgana and arthur is expressing regret and confusion about what happened to her, and merlin says it’s not arthur’s fault, that “there were others better placed to help morgana,” indicating his own guilty feelings.

and the other one was after mordred defected to morgana, where he has a whole conversation with her about how he thinks there is still GOOD in arthur!!!!  he’s uncertain about what he’s doing!  I JUST

i can’t believe

they had the seeds

of this better story

and they consciously decided not to pursue them.  it’s not like they didn’t have the idea.  it’s not like they just never thought of it.  they thought of it, filmed it, and deliberately removed it.  unfathomable.

it’s also pretty remarkable that the big baddie they’ve been touting for the last three seasons just pegs out from a stab wound in about 5 seconds as we’re being hustled on to something else.  there is no space devoted to morgana’s death scene (such as it was…).  it’s a parenthesis.  it feels like, ‘oh we gotta get this out of the way quick hurry up let’s move on.’  

and the thing is, i am not wholly opposed to the idea of morgana ultimately destroying herself - it’s not necessarily my first choice, but there are ways they could have gone that route and still told a meaningful story - but if they wanted to go that way, her death would have to matter.  it would have to be treated like the terrible failure it represents.  it would have to be given the weight of tragedy.

but structurally, the way this scene is set up, there is no way for this to happen.  the viewers are already hyper-strung out on tension, when she appears, because they’re suddenly starting to get this horrible realization that one of the show’s two central characters might actually be about to die, but nobody wants to stop clinging to hope despite their bad feelings so there’s just this desperate, screamingly loud ticking clock running in the background, and when morgana shows up in the middle of that clenching fear, there’s absolutely no way her death can receive the attention she deserves.  the audience doesn’t have room for something like that.  they don’t have room to feel anything on top of what they’re already feeling.  they’re already about to explode.  they’re already maxed out on investment.  they can’t focus on her; they want her to disappear because something more urgent is going on.

and so the show hustles us past her, and her death is just this blip.  it barely registers. if you sneezed, you would miss it.

(and then mordred, for his part, doesn’t even have the benefit of a structural problem to explain the anticlimax of his death.  he just gets taken out like the trash.  for a character that they just spent all this time developing and making sympathetic - boy.)

i think...the thing, ultimately, is this: if this show truly felt that what they had to do was take their previously hopeful premise and stun their audience with the death of the hero, then they should have understood that trying to stack other things on top of that is too much.  trying to squash morgana’s death right up against arthur’s is foolish.  it’s ridiculous to expect your audience to be able to process morgana’s death and arthur’s in-progress dying at the same time.  these two things happen within two minutes of each other.  the audience has been following these characters for five years.  it’s unreasonable to expect your audience to hold so much emotion at once.  

vii. you’ll just have to trust me

the last thing i want to say is a more general thing.  

the rest of this analysis focused on the ways in which the finale is poorly-crafted, rather than on my personal feelings about who they did dirty.  it’s not really about my own personal thoughts re: the merits of killing gwaine and morgana and mordred and arthur or stranding merlin across the centuries; it’s about if these things (and all the other things in these episodes) were done effectively, and the answer, sadly, is no.  the show could have killed all these people and still written something i would have respected (even though it would have been devastating), but that’s not what happened.

but here, at the end, i think i can make room for a little sentiment.  

so what i want to reflect on here is this: ultimately, i don’t end up rejecting stories just because they do things i don’t like.  the pre-finale episodes were filled with things i didn’t like.  i hated how merlin turned mordred and kara in instead of letting them run.  i hated how he let the execution proceed.  i hated how arthur refused to see the injustice of his own actions.  i hated how merlin was getting so wrapped up in ‘make sure arthur doesn’t die’ that everything else was fading away, that he was doing things he could never have done in good conscience before.  but i was still deeply wrapped up in these stories, because i believed they were plausible and true.  i accepted them.  it made sense to me, that these things would be happening, dark and unpleasant as they were.

i don’t start rejecting stories just because they go places i don’t want them to go.  i start rejecting stories when i feel they’ve betrayed my trust.  

writers and readers/viewers can only ever move together if they trust each other.  i allow stories to take me places i don’t want to go because i trust the authors to keep me safe while we travel.  i know that they may take me somewhere i don’t want to be, but i trust that they will never take me somewhere i don’t need to be.  i trust that they are taking me somewhere intentionally, with the story’s integrity in mind.  a creator i trust can take their story anywhere, because i know they will take care.  a creator i trust can end their story tragically, because they remember that i am experiencing it alongside them.  they don’t surprise-punt me off the edge of the cliff so i can crash, alone, into the painful conclusion.  they carry me the whole way, and by the time we get to the end of the line, we can both look back and see that the road that led us here was straight and true.  i don’t fault them for taking me here.  it was the right place to go.

the end of merlin didn’t feel like that to me.  putting aside the fact that it was all so contrived that it didn’t even feel real (illustrated clearly enough in the ten pages above) - the truth is that even if it had displayed the highest quality writing in the world, the way this show ended felt like the audience had been abandoned.  the bond of trust between the creator and the consumer was severed.  the show forgot to take care.

i’m a ‘galaxy far far away’ girl first and foremost, so i’ll borrow an excerpt from the world according to star wars in order to make my point:

kasdan: i think you should kill luke and have leia take over.

lucas: you don’t want to kill luke.

kasdan: okay, then kill yoda.

lucas: i don’t want to kill yoda.  you don’t have to kill people.  you’re a product of the 1980’s.  you don’t go around killing people.  it’s not nice.

kasdan: no, i’m not.  i’m trying to give the story some kind of edge to it…

lucas: by killing somebody, i think you alienate the audience. (x)

i think merlin forgot this.  

i’m not saying that merlin shouldn’t have killed anybody at the end of their show.  i’m not even saying that they shouldn’t have killed arthur.  i’m saying that they forgot to take care.

merlin bbc betrayed their audience.  you cannot take a show whose underlying theme has consistently been the promise of better things and then turn around and end it like that without taking special care of the people who are watching.  you cannot just take an audience who has spent five years listening to someone bright and full of unflinching hope say - without any indication that anyone should doubt the certainty of this statement - “one day things will be better” and expect them to walk into this kind of ending safely.   

by killing someone, i think you alienate the audience.  and this doesn’t mean that nobody can ever die.  but it does mean that if you’re going to kill someone, you have to understand that there is going to be an automatic pain reaction from your viewers/readers/etc, and if you want to maintain their trust, you have to take so much care.  you have to be sure that you know exactly what you’re doing.  you have to be sure that it’s the right thing.  the only thing.  you have to make sure that it doesn’t betray the fundamental promises you’ve made whilst crafting the rest of your story.

the end of merlin is truly stunning in a) its utter reversal/unfulfillment of every major promise that comprised its premise and b) the casualness with which it throws its characters away in the last episode.  it’s not just “killing someone.” it’s a slaughter.  we have to watch almost half the cast die onscreen, and then at the very end literally everybody is dead except merlin himself.

and this is merlin!  not game of thrones!  merlin is a “family show;” that’s what the writers/directors/producers keep calling it when you listen to the episode commentaries and they talk about how they can’t show certain things or make it too bloody.  they wanted to follow in the tradition of “big, kind of epic family-entertaining shows, that—across generations—work on lots of different levels.”  but i cannot imagine a young person who has watched this show for five years coming into the finale to see mordred and gwaine and morgana and arthur violently executed, and to see gwen in mourning, and merlin anguished and then more alone than he ever was even when he was hiding his secret, and then, whoop, there’s the credits, that’s all folks.  aren’t you glad you got on this ride? 

the show ends without fulfilling any of the promises it made repeatedly for years.  the liberation of magic, the uniting of albion, and, for merlin, especially, the long-predicted day when he would be known and recognized for who he was - all forgotten.  all abandoned.  the finale finishes without giving the audience any of the things that they have spent five years being told to expect.  the show rewards five years of emotional investment with death and desolation.  it breaks all of its promises. it doesn’t take care.

i was lucky enough to have been so disconnected by how shockingly bad these episodes were that i mostly sat there shock-laughing at them in disbelief, the first time i watched.  but going through them again to put this write-up together was just like - that’s when a deep sadness kicked in, for me.  not at the ending itself, exactly, because, as i’ve said before, it was so poorly put-together that i can’t even see it as real.  but just - at the idea that i still had to see it, period.  that i had to witness this thing that i loved so much descend into this misery, for all that i didn’t recognize it as something plausible or true.  that i still had to watch merlin drag arthur all over creation, still trying, still scrabbling for that sliver of hope, only to have arthur bite the dust like ten feet from their destination.  that all merlin ever wanted in his life was to be accepted and loved for who he is, and that he put all of this on hold so he could (supposedly) bring about a world where it would be possible, and then he never gets it.  that a life of hiding himself and believing that everybody around him hated who he was inside - that was as good as it was ever going to get, for him.  

the writers just - piled it on.  ‘you can watch mordred die, even though we just went to all this effort to make you root for him!  and now you can watch gwaine die (why????? we don’t know!!! it doesn’t change the story, but why don’t you watch it happen anyway!).  and now you can watch morgana die!  but don’t look too long, because arthur is dying!  and now you can see camelot cold and in mourning - but only for one second, because now you can see merlin, who we never showed meeting any of his friends ever again, wandering around as a solitary old man thousands of years after everybody else is dead and the universe we spent the last five seasons living in no longer exists!!!!!!’

unbelievable.  

it doesn’t upset me in the sense of “it’s so terrible that the story ended that way” because i know it didn’t, really.  it was contrived and false enough that i laughed through most of the episode.  i know it isn’t the way things would have gone, and i won’t have any trouble forgetting it; whereas if it had been well-done, i wouldn’t have been able to dismiss it so easily.  but i still had to watch it, regardless.  you’re forced to watch it, because you care, and the creators know you care enough not to look away, and they use that trust to keep you glued there while they gut-punch you over and over and over again and then peace out without concluding any of their plotlines, saying, “isn’t it clever???  we really fooled you, didn’t we?  technically, we fulfilled the prophecies - nobody ever said any of the characters would get to enjoy the new world they would build!  i bet you’re so surprised!”

it leaves you stunned.  

it’s so...mean.  

it’s so careless.

i don’t have any desire to subject myself to that a second time.  after i’m done with this post, i know i’m never going to watch those episodes again.  they weren’t good, first of all; and if you need more clarification on that, please see the first ten pages of this document.  but more importantly, i don’t feel the need to subject myself once again to the callous disregard for the trust i gave this show’s creators.  

if i’m supposed to trust a creator to carry me over rough terrain, i’m trusting them to carry me all the way to the end.  they can’t violently dump me to the ground two feet before the finish line, run me over with an ATV, and then expect me to willingly climb back into their arms.

viii: if you want something done right

in conclusion, i guess the one nice thing about this is that we can crawl the last two feet ourselves.  

for me, sadly, i think canon!merlin is always going to end at 5.11.  the last two episodes don’t feel believable to me.  i couldn’t watch them and be convinced that i was watching something plausible; i felt like i was watching two hours of scripted theater.  which is, of course, what we’re always doing - but if the story had been crafted appropriately, we shouldn’t have realized it.  we shouldn’t have been able to feel the writer’s hand reaching in and making improbable things happen.  we shouldn’t have been laughing in disbelief as supposedly “sad” things were happening in front of us, and we definitely shouldn’t have been almost falling off the couch because the last scene was so jarring we thought it was an advertisement. (the TRUCK, people.  blaring across the screen and bulldozering through medieval fantasy-adventure show merlin bbc.  nothing on earth or in high heaven could have prepared me for that moment.)

but the one good thing about a piece of media that ended so unsatisfactorily is that it lights a fire under people’s butts to go ahead and sort of...row the boat themselves.  i was afraid, before i watched this, that seeing it would make me never want to go back to merlin again.  i put off finishing season 5 for an entire year because i was in the middle of writing a fic and i thought that if the end of the show upset me, i would never want to write another word.  but now that i’m finished, i’m relieved to be able to say that the finale, while it will always be a bitterly disappointing sore spot, was also SO laughably bad that i don’t feel the slightest compunction about just...letting it lie unrecognized.  if it were well-crafted and i was just ignoring it because it made me sad, i’d feel guilty for being petty.  but it was Just Actually That Bad, so my conscience is clear.  

and so is the path to more fun things, i hope, because that is the point of fandom, in the end, to have fun with something you love in the company of other people who love it the same way.

i hope i haven’t written the last merlin thing i’ll ever write.  i hope there’s more inside me that i want to say.  i hope i haven’t come in too late to make connections.  i hope i’ll enjoy rewatching (most of) this show someday.  i couldn’t imagine that any of these things would be true, when i knew the end was going to be a let-down, but now that i’ve finished, i feel like there’s infinite room to play, and that, at least, makes me smile.

i’ve said before that this was a hell of a ride.  it ended in a trainwreck, sure, but i’m not sorry i got on.

[frenchibi]

A rant-essay about The Witcher books (and comparison to the show)

((after having read book one, and started into a good chunk of book two.))

Proceed at your own discretion, there will be a lot of frustration and swearing. Also, spoilers for basically the entirety of the Netflix show. Also, there is discussion of sexual assault and objectification and lots and lots of sexism.

The structure of my rant is as follows (because yes I structured it):

 1. Things that I enjoyed in the books

1.1 Geralt talks more

1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

1.3 The fairy tale theme

2. Things that made me want to scream

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

2.3 Jaskier's sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would NEVER)

2.4 Female Characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it's bad)

2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

3. Bonus: Why the audiobook grinds my gears

Total length: 4k words :’) Click to proceed.

(So, we’re doing this? I think forty likes is sufficient general interest, so... okay. Obligatory disclaimer here: This Is My Opinion. However, I am not fabricating any of the… grounds for my opinion, it is based on the content of the books, that I read, and which are broadly available, so anyone can read them and see for themselves. Personally, I would not recommend the experience, and below I will detail the reasons why. If, like I was, you’re hesitant about reading them, this essay might sway your decision either way. You might go “oh thanks op now I know I won’t like it” or “huh I think I wanna see this for myself because you’re yelling a lot”. It’s all equally valid. Anyway, let’s proceed with “things I enjoyed”.)

1.1 Geralt talks more Geralt in the books is a bit of a mess as far as characterization goes - but I don't hate that he's less stoic here and less... idk, arrogant/superior towards humans than he is in the show. He talks to people, engages with them, discloses opinions and thoughts and… it's a good look. We even get several pages of monologue from him at one point (because he is talking to a priestess who has taken a vow of silence, but I’ll take it – the books in general have a monologue/structure problem which I will address in 2.5) which is way more than the show ever provided us with. I’d like to say it gives us an insight into the character but maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, see below (2.1).

 1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

Geralt and Jaskier are FRIENDS. And I mean that literally the first thing we hear Geralt say about Jaskier in canon in book one is "of course I want to see him, he's my friend". Which - Netflix!Geralt could NEVER and I'm salty about it. Jaskier in the books has his own problems (2.3) but I still think he's my favorite overall, he's fun and Geralt genuinely enjoys his company. They travel together and ENJOY it, they joke, they reminisce and it is Good. Netflix, take notes.

 1.3 The fairy tale theme

This gets lost in the Netflix adaptation altogether but. The idea in the books is that all these monsters that Geralt encounters are dark twists on fairy tales and I'm HERE FOR IT. Renfri is literally Snow White But Badass. Cinderella, Rapunzel and Rumpelstiltskin’s stories are mentioned in passing, and other ideas that are explored here have fairy tale elements, e.g. slaying the dragon. It's cool, but apparently the story loses this aspect in later volumes so I guess it makes sense that the show decided to omit it. Still a bummer tho bc I liked that.

 So. Now on to Things that made me want to Scream, which is what we’re all really here for.

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

Geralt, oh Geralt, I wish you weren't such an obvious Mary Sue, Saviour™ and thinly veiled Jesus allegory. Geralt is always, ALWAYS right and it pisses me the fuck off. Geralt gets all the women he wants with NO PROMPTING and it makes me angry. Geralt always has the last laugh in every and any situation. Geralt is always smarter and more powerful than the Idiot Humans. Geralt ignores advice and suffers no consequences for it. Geralt has no well-thought out character, no consistency - he just is the "main character" and "hero" that the story needs - if the story needs him to be smart, he is, if it needs him to make a mistake, he does - he has no AGENCY and it’s BORING. Why am I supposed to care about him, exactly? Because the plot tells me to, and because everyone else is framed like an idiot in comparison and you’re supposed to like strong and smart characters. Cool. Bleh.

 2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

Strap in, because this is the longest part.

Yennefer in the books is… a badass (but sexy) until the plot needs her to be a damsel (but sexy). She also occasionally has one (1) other character trait and that trait is Crazy Bitch.

I’ll admit I was not her biggest fan after the show (I didn’t really connect with her that much after she became vindictive™, though I gotta say her role in the last battle was Very Cool) but in the wake of what I have read so far, I have decided to AGGRESSIVELY STAN because she fucking. Deserves better. Oh my GOD it makes me so angry. Here’s how I think her character creation probably went:

"Ok so here we have Geralt, who is a badass, and So Cool, and he could have any Female he desires. But his Female can't be inferior and giggly and vapid like literally all other women - she needs to be the ideal fantasy Fantasy.

First: she needs powers. So we'll make her a Cool Sorceress! And more powerful than the other sorceresses because Geralt deserves the BEST. But also, he needs to be able to be Cooler and save her so she needs to be (like all females are, because they are inferior) emotionally volatile and vulnerable, and Geralt will also be the only one who gets to see that Vulnerability because Geralt has the biggest dick is her love interest. So she will be weak around him because he's just so hung wonderful.

Secondly, she needs a believable weakness (besides being too emotional because all women are too emotional), and as we all know, women have one purpose: to bREED. But not Yennefer - oh no, Yennefer is (wait for it, this is the dramatic backstory, hold your breath) broken, she's BARREN, USELESS AND EMPTY AND SHE HATES HERSELF FOR IT!!!!!

*pause for dramatic effect*

I know right that's so SEXY

[This is the point where I’m like… this might, possibly, maybe, under very different circumstances have been a compelling storyline if the author had ever consulted a woman. Or, you know, if the story was written by a woman. This is objectification and fetishization of the worst kind and I hate it. The show has this element too and it’s bad there too but it’s nowhere near as pronounced as in the books. Anyway-]

Speaking of sexy - obviously Yennefer is the sexiest of all the women Geralt has ever encountered. And because I, as the author, am aware that's unrealistic, I will drop in YET ANOTHER PIECE OF DRAMATIC BACKSTORY: She used to be a HUNCHBACK!!! *air horns* I KNOW RIGHT OH MY GOD and now she made herself SEXY with MAGIC because YOU KNOW ALL WOMEN WANT TO BE OBJECTIFIED BY MEN!!! SEXY FANTASY THAT FUCKS!!!!

[also? This is revealed to Geralt (and the reader) not by her telling him, or by a flashback, but because he "sees that she has the eyes of a hunchback". I can’t even begin to state how much I hate this.]

Anyway every time she shows up it will be mentioned how shapely her legs and breasts are and how young she looks despite the fact that she must be Old. She will turn heads and men will scorn her because she is too pretty and not interested in them and men hate anything that has any amount of sexual power or agency. but not Geralt, no, because he gets to fuck her at the end of the day so he's the only one who doesn't objectify her out loud. (but he does in his internal monologue. hooray.)

Also, to emphasize this point, we will have a side character sexually violate her while Geralt is tied up because that is The New Hotness™"

And if that wasn't enough, she as a character subscribes to what is known as "Female Hysteria For No Reason" and will become a Woman Scorned over absolutely nothing if the plot needs her to be angry.

The plot regarding her relationship with Geralt is also a bit different - in the show, she gets angry once she finds out Geralt's third wish ties them together (whether this is justified may be subjective - except yeah, no, she’s absolutely right, Geralt what the fuck??). In the book, she hears his wish as he makes it because MAGIC and is somehow SUPER INTO IT because this author has never met a human woman before.

...and then I need to complain about the storyline with the dragon. Because, you will remember, in the show, she gets angry and storms off after learning of the third wish, but that can’t be the case because she already knows about it in the books, right?

Well.

 The story in the books goes like this:

Six years ago, after one of their affairs™ Geralt leaves without waking Yennefer (but like. Leaves her flowers instead) and admittedly that's kind of rude but also like... ok. That doesn’t seem too strange a thing for Geralt to do. Maybe he just wanted to let her rest? Anyway.

They don't meet for six years, in which Geralt idk... idly misses her or something, and Yennefer develops a deep lasting hatred based on her abandonment issues…? (I am. grasping. there's no good reason if this relationship is as casual to both of them as they have made it sound, but she is SUPER MAD because the plot needs her to be ANGERY).

So with his backdrop, cue the search for the dragon. Geralt is like "eh I'll join them. I have nowhere better to be, also Jaskier is here and he's not boring so ok" and then he hears Yennefer will also be there and goes "oh well all the better, haven't seen her in a while"

And when he follows her to her tent to greet her, she spits verbal FIRE at him and is like "bitch you're lucky i didn't gouge your fucking EYES out" and other lovely statements of a similar calibre, and Geralt just stands there and takes it and tells her he missed her.

which implies either a) he knows what he did and he thinks he deserves this, or b) he has done nothing wrong in his own eyes and this is just "bitch crazy" to be ignored. It is heavily implied to be b), because, in our third person POV narrative, we get NO REMORSE from him, no indication as to what he thinks about this whole thing Yennefer is accusing him of, nothing at all in terms of emotional response to her. Cool. She yells at him and then storms of, and he just… idk, shrugs I guess?

So, they travel, Yennefer is Icy Bitch Queen but also everyone hates her and insults her to an absurd degree (see above, she's Too Sexy and Powerful and also like, a Woman) and she takes it without saying anything back but it's obvious that everyone's trash talk is affecting her (so it’s obvious that at some point she will be Vulnerable again). Jaskier, who seems to have no personal grudge against her at this point in the books, joins in the teasing because he's there to make fun of everyone I guess? (boy.) No deeper malice from him than from anyone else though.

And then, for drama, the party reaches a narrow bridge. They’re debating whether or not it is safe to cross with all their supplies and then BAM! there's a landslide so they have no choice. The events go like this:

- Geralt lets the others cross first. Right as he wants to cross, he hears Yennefer yell because her horse fell over, because of course it did

- Geralt abandons his own means of escape to go help her up, and then she proceeds to save his ass because SHE HAS FUCKING MAGIC THERE WAS NO POINT IN YOU GOING TO SAVE HER YOU FUCKER she just makes a shield so nothing hits them and they stumble to the bridge

- they get caught on the bridge as it collapses, and of course Yennefer is the one who falls first, and he catches her, so they're both hanging there and he's holding on to her suspended over this. Canyon or whatever.

- Jaskier, from above, yells to the others to get a rope to help pull them up but they respond to "wait until the bitch has fallen, then we'll pull the witcher up"

which. wow. but ok.

Yennefer can barely hold on, and HERE is where Geralt asks her to forgive him for… his wrongdoings…? (you know, can't have her die with a grudge, I guess? Or whatever?) He's like "Yen, forgive me" and she says "NEVER"

((and also, she has consistently kept telling him to stop calling her Yen (which he first started when they started... having Relations™ so obviously now it has bad memories attached to it for her), which he blatantly ignores because her feelings don't matter))

In the end, Jaskier gets the others to help despite their reluctance and hatred of Yennefer and they travel on. Yennefer's back to being Ice Queen - and then they find the dragon. Some fucker tries to fight it alone and gets injured. Yennefer is in charge of healing this dude, and so she ends up alone with Geralt in a tent – where she asks him to double-cross everyone else and kill the dragon himself (after telling them all she would cooperate with them) - "for me. I want the dragon, Geralt, for myself. All of it. I don't want to share. Kill it for me" and then explains that not all is lost because with certain parts of the dragon, SOMEONE CAN CURE HER BARRENNESS and i want to launch myself into the fucking sun

Geralt is like "uhhhh"

she says "on the bridge, you asked for my forgiveness- if you do this, I'll forgive you"

and then HE GOES "well, that no longer matters to me. I'm over it now" which hsadjlkfhsajdklfhsajkldfhaskdfsj I cannot begin to impart to you how many levels of “UGH” I felt at the predictable reversal of roles because he can’t ACTUALLY have to apologize to her – it’s HER who has to apologize to HIM for being an irrational Female

and now SHE'S all like. quivering lip and wanting him back or whatever and I am SICKENED that SHE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO GROVEL NOW BECAUSE THE PLOT CANNOT HAVE GERALT EVER MAKE A MISTAKE AND OWN TO IT?!?

Thanks, I hate it.

 Oh and I almost forgot in all my rage about that storyline – when we first meet her, we learn that Yennefer apparently doesn’t “bother with the whalebone [i.e. corset] nonsense other women use” (literal quote from the book) so I guess her tits are magic???

This just in, if she needs boob support SHE’S A THOT, if your knockers don’t stand on their own you’re INFERIOR and NOT DESIRABLE, GTFO.

 2.3 Jaskier’s sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would never)

Jaskier, you have been done dirty.

It could have been so cool too - Jaskier in the books is witty and likeable and makes friends wherever he goes because everyone likes a bard?? Also he's really smart and knowledgeable because "a bard needs to know about many things" which is SO VALID??? And Geralt trusts him and cares about his opinion??? And also it's clear Jaskier likes Geralt, not just for the purpose of writing ballads about him, but because they're old friends, they've travelled together a lot - yes, their relationship is good here, regardless of your shipping preferences. (Also, he wears a hat with a large feather on it, which is how Geralt recognizes him in crowds, and it's amazing and hilarious.)

HOWEVER.

Jaskier treats women terribly. At his first introduction, he literally gropes a priestess (and then makes fun of the high priestess for chastising him for it). He sees women very much as objects to be… maybe not “won” but, well, persuaded, which makes him a tiny bit better than most of the other men, who are basically straight-up rapists. But then there's the scene with Yennefer which. Made everything turn sour tbh. It goes like this:

Yennefer wants to go after the dragon alone (see above), but before she can get Geralt to do it for her and double-cross everyone, she's overwhelmed by some of the other men in the party and they're all tied up (Jaskier, Geralt, some other pacifist sorcerer who is around, and Yennefer). And one of the men, who hates her for her (sexual) power, rips open her blouse and exposes her and assaults her while she screams, so then he gags her. And then when he’s done he walks away and leaves her exposed. Geralt looks away after she screams at him not to stare (wow, points for chivalry, the standard is literally So Low - also his justification for obeying her wishes is that he’s already seen her boobs so it’s not a big deal to him anymore) but Jaskier shamelessly stares at her even after she makes it absolutely clear she does not consent to ANY of this and has no choice because SHE IS TIED UP, and he even jokes that he'll write a ballad about her perfect breasts. And I'm over here like.... no. no, no, no, no, no. Jaskier deserved better characterization and Yennefer deserves a better fucking franchise.

 2.4 Female characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it’s bad)

I have touched a lot on this already so I'll try to be brief, but. Ugh.

Sexy Fantasy That Fucks™ is practically a legit genre and sadly a lot of semi-progressive fantasy falls into this category - where we have moved on from having only like one or two named female character (see: LotR) to having several, and look, they can even fight, but only as long as they're aggressively sexually attractive to men while they do it. Poor Harley Quinn suffered the same treatment in Suicide Squad - The Male Gaze Filter.

Here in the books it goes like this: Oh look, “vaguely tribal” women who fight - but they're also the most overtly sexual and involved in a canon off-screen orgy with Geralt and an older (practically old) man and are portrayed as Perpetually Horny. Oh look, Yennefer, a badass sorceress who falls apart when Geralt so much as looks her way because Geralt is so fucking great I guess. Then there’s the 14-year-old striga princess who needs to be described, once her curse is lifted, with emphasis to her “perky breasts”. SHE'S FOURTEEN. And there’s the young priestesses, who are subtly flattered by Jaskier's direct "advances" because, you know, they've dedicated their lives to serving a goddess but understandably they just WANT TO FUCK™.

There is a single female character who is not sexualized - the head priestess, Nenneke. She's described as fat and old (and wise though, throw her a bone). Geralt respects her because of her wisdom but that's it - she has a Use™. And also, he ignores her advice in the end anyway. Pity she wasn't more beautiful I guess. I am Sickened.

 2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

Now, we get to the bones of the thing. There's... one main thing that really bothers me and that's a CLASSIC - the fact that this author prefers to have action explained to the reader through monologues by characters that inexplicably have All The Information, rather than have us, you know, experience the action first hand. There are a couple of fight scenes of Geralt vs A Monster, sure, but that's all we get - everything else is told to us through monologues. (and yes it's still a monologue even if Geralt interrupts to say "go on" or "get to the point". It's not really a dialogue if the other person is only being expositioned at. Now Geralt just looks impatient and annoying.) Even the short story format (of the first two books) is explained this way: the individual short stories are monologues within conversations in the base timeline, explaining to the reader (and to Nenneke in the narrative proper) backstories and how characters met.

Which... it's a choice? It makes more sense than the show with it’s wack-ass timeline with absolutely no conext. But like. Why can't you have us at least discover the respective monster through someone else's POV though? I get that we're always staying with Geralt because Geralt is oh so great, but rather than have some Constable explain to him for like twelve pages how the princess (who is, without any intrigue, an incest-princess - this is not a mystery, everybody is aware of this at the beginning of the story and freely provides this information without prompting) became a striga and how many people she has killed and what people say she looks like and how to allegedly cure her - can’t we see that shit happen? Like... ok, thanks? I hate it. The show did this better.

 3. Bonus: why the audiobook grinds my gears

Last and definitely least - the audiobook is BAD (but I don't want to buy physical copies, and my library won't have the English version because I live in Germany, so I guess I'm stuck with it). The guy who reads it is Bad At Reading Out Loud because his emphasis/cadence is incredibly unnatural (also regrettably all the books are read by the same guy) and his pronunciation of names (most notably Jaskier, who is called Dandelion in the English version of the books) is inconsistent??? He started out by (correctly) calling him dandelion in book 1 and now has changed to pronouncing it dandelion, like the flower, which is not how you say his name (and... no offense if he’d started out that way because I, too, thought that was how you said it just from reading the word - but he says it CORRECTLY in the first book and then changes it to the wrong pronunciation in book two so I’m confused?? How does that happen?)

Also - different accents for different characters are only a good idea if a) you're good at accents and b) they aren't overtly connoted? Like. Don't give a guy in a fantasy setting a bad russian accent??? Also what part of Geralt as a character made you think SCOTTISH???? Oof.

And another thing - these little descriptors after direct speech? They MATTER.

"Don't touch me," Yennefer hissed

and

"Don't touch me," Yennefer screamed

are two very different sentences and should be read as such. You can't just. Say "Don't touch me" seductively and then add "she yelled". That's not how voice acting works. Please, pLEASE I'M SUFFERING. I was already struggling enough with some of the content of the books and now you’re making consuming them really difficult and irritating :’) Oof.

 In conclusion – I don’t even know. I was mad and now I’m tired.

  Anyway, all this to say – I didn’t hate every aspect of the books. I will keep reading (in my case listening) because I’m stupid, I apparently love to suffer and I am, thanks to the show, invested in the storyline and want to know what happens. But I will most certainly keep complaining about them because that’s the only way to make this fun for myself. And are you not entertained?!

Who knows. Maybe stuff will get better.

Take from this post what you will, and if it’s only my personal hypocrisy then that’s fine. I hope you had a nice day – I’m gonna go make myself some tea to calm down. And I’ll have you know that despite what you may have heard, I have never worn a bra in my life, because I’m not like other girls.

[neoneversleeps]

bad guy | j.jh

pairing: jaehyun x reader - bad guy

genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings: cheating, swearing, semi-public sex, fingering, oral (female recieving)

description: 

The damn leather jacket that hangs over your desk chair is what compels you to finally come face to ace with the man whose heart you broke months ago. The outcome of the encouter however, is not what you had expected in the least. 

(this fic is kind of a twist on bad guy by billie eilish)

words: ~5k

playlist ⟡

You feel the blood trickle down your nose before you even feel the impact. It takes a few seconds to actually register that you’ve just been punched in the face. Slaps were a common occurrence but actually being punched? Now that was a new one. You had to hand it to her, she had a mean right hook.

A chuckle escapes your mouth as your hand wipes off the blood on your nose. You could hear the murmurs of shocked onlookers around you. The girl seems even more infuriated after you chuckle, face contorted in anger as she opens her mouth to scream at you.

"You slut! Making out with my boyfriend for everyone to see?

You simply roll your eyes at her. This wasn't the first time you had heard those words. You hadn't really ran any background checks on the long list of hookups you had these past couple months. You couldn't bring yourself to care much, either.

"Who do you think you are, going around kissing other girls boyfriends?"

You cock your head at her, slightly narrowing your eyes.

"Shouldn't you be asking your boyfriend why he's going around kissing girls that aren't his girlfriend?"

She pauses, suddenly at a loss for words. A few seconds later she stomps her foot, not unlike a toddler during a temper tantrum, huffs indignantly and storms off, boyfriend in tow, tail between his legs.

You decide to head to the nearest bathroom, behind the club, to inspect the damage. You catch some stares as you round the corner, the people there clearly finding your bloodstained appearance more interesting than whatever else they were talking about before. You didn't shy away from any of the glances, choosing instead to sneer back at them, which made them turn their heads away without a fault.

You near the outdoor bathroom, a small rectangular construction with only one meek bathroom stall and a poor excuse for a mirror. Closing the door behind you, you lean forward on the sink and inspect your nose. It could look worse for wear, nothing broken at least. The bad lighting and smudged mirror didn't exactly let you see the full damage, but there was no cracking and no continuous pain so that was a positive. You figure it must be just a few burst blood vessels. You splash some water on your face, cleaning off the already drying blood. You look back up at your reflection. The shirt was ruined though. Bummer, you didn’t own a lot of white shirts that you liked and unfortunately, you did actually like this one.

Slightly sighing in frustration, you leave the stall to go hail a cab, ready to head home for the night.

The door of your small city apartment clicks shut as you enter. You flick on the lights and glance around. The place was in disarray to no surprise. Every time you claimed you’d tidy the whole thing up, something more important always seemed to come up. Truthfully, you couldn't bring yourself to care.

You glance at the clock as you stroll into your kitchen. 2:39am. Perfect time for some plain old buttered toast. You hadn’t drank much, the alcohol levels in your blood probably close to zero at this point. Your stomach, however, was growling in demand for food. So you get to work, taking two slices of bread out of the freezer and placing them in your hand-me-down toaster.

After finishing your honourable 3am meal, you slowly shuffle past your bedroom door and into the adjacent bathroom. You discard your clothes, making a mental note to throw the bloodied shirt away instead of just throwing it in with the wash.

As you step under the shower, the warmth of the water envelops you. None of your neighbors in the apartment complex showered at this hour, so it was always a guarantee for hot water. You stand in the stream for a while, letting your muscles relax and letting the water wash aways all your sins, worries and fears. Of course the water couldn't actually wash those away, but you liked to believe it could linder them. Make them disappear even for a little while.

The bathroom floor tiles are cold against your feet after you finally decide you'd soaked up enough water for the night (morning, technically). You dried off your body, wrapping the towel around your figure before wrapping another one around your hair. You made use of the few skincare products you had for your nightly (again, more accurately morning) routine.

You pad out into your bedroom, removing the towel from your hair and trying to dry said hair with it as best you could. Your eyes flick to the jacket hanging on your desk chair in the corner of your still dark room, illuminated only by the path of light coming from the open bathroom door. It was an old dark brown leather jacket, surely worth a lot when first bought. The years of use have worn it at its edges but it still shines pristinely, leather well kept.

A face flashes before your eyes. The owner of that very jacket. Jung Jaehyun. The one boy who had managed to get a little too close for comfort. The thought of him leaves a bitter taste of hurt and regret in your mouth. A twinge of guilt twists your insides as well.

You had been meaning to give the jacket back to him, tired of it being a constant reminder of your past relationship. You had been saying that for months now though, yet you never got around to actually get it back to him. Coward. the voice in your head helpfully provides the real reasoning behind not returning the jacket. You would one day. In fact you would go tomorrow. Today? Ok, realistically that wouldn't happen. You settled for the coming week. The coming week  you would return Jung Jaehyun’s jacket.

Content with your decision, you change into your pyjamas and slip into bed, the clock on the nightstand reading 4am.

It’s a wednesday afternoon two weeks after the bloody nose incident that you finally walk down the street where the garage that Jaehyun works at is located. Ok so maybe you didn't quite adhere to the deadline you set for yourself, but you were here now, right?

You were slowly approaching Jaehyun’s workplace. The buzzing sounds  of various machinery filtering in through your ears. The garage always had its doors open, probably willing more wind to enter the hot work space. The afternoon sun stands proud in its place, rays casting a golden light onto the city and pleasantly warming its citizens. Even though you appreciate the balmy caress of the sunlight on your skin, you imagine being stuck working on a car in this heat would be most uncomfortable. Jaehyun never seemed to mind however, you couldn't remember him ever complaining about his job. He was good at what he did, although he did always talk about rising up in the ranks. He didn't want to work at a garage for the rest of his life, and you couldn't blame him. You were sure he would achieve his goals however. If there was one word you would use to describe Jaehyun, it was determined.

Your eyes search the area as you arrive in front of the garage. There’s a nervous feeling in your gut the longer your eyes search, the jacket in your backpack seemingly getting heavier by the second. Maybe you shouldn't have come.

You’re about to turn on your heel but before you can do so, your eyes catch sight of a brown tuft of hair behind the car on the far end. You would recognize that soft brown hair anywhere.

Your feet stroll over to the car furthest away from you. A red 1966 shelby. Nice model, a vintage mustang, the apparently freshly redone paint-job glistening in the afternoon sun. Now, you wouldn't consider yourself a cars connoisseur by any means, but your granddad had taught you to have an eye for value.

“Beautiful car.” You say, your fingers lightly hovering above the shiny red paint, careful not to touch. The man behind the car gets up with a chuckle. “Yeah, well, she's not mine-.” A pause. “Oh, hey, y/n. What brings you here?” The tone of his voice is casual, but obviously forced. It stings just a bit. He stands there just as you remembered him. His well-built frame stands tall, defined muscles visible in the black tank top he was wearing, honey brown fringe damp from the sweat falling just below his eyebrows. His hair had grown a little since you last saw him.

“Oh, you know. Just passing through this area and thought I might stop by. Maybe looking to buy some car air fresheners.” His face tilts, eyes narrowingly only a millimeter. “Uh huh. You don't own a car though?”

Shit. “Right well… it's for a friend. Her car always smells musty.” You recovered rather well in your defense, able to play it off with a chuckle.

“Um, okay. Is that really all? Because if yes I should get back to work before-” “No!” Okay, that was way too quick, you mentally reprimand yourself. Clearing your throat, you continue.

“No, actually, that's not all. I was wondering… if maybe you would like to go get a drink sometime?” What!? What the hell was that? You were supposed to give him his leather jacket back, not ask him out.

Even Jaehyun looks surprised at your question. His hands fly up to his hair, running them through it a couple of times, a habit you had seen countless times before. “Well I, um-” “Jaehyun!” You heard the rather shrill voice of a girl coming from your right. Soon enough the girl that had called his name was now plastered to his side, hands curling around his arm.

“Who’s this, Jaehyun?” The fake tone to her voice is so obvious you want to roll your eyes.

“Oh uh, Y/n is an old...friend of mine. Y/n, this is my girlfriend Nina.” She sticks her hand out and you take it, albeit begrudgingly, while forcing a smile. “It's nice to meet you.” The blonde smiles back, face scrunching up just a little too much to be considered genuine.

“Likewise.” She quips before directing a pout at Jaehyun. “Hyunnie, you promised you’d get off work early to go to that one restaurant I was telling you about.” Hyunnie? You internally shiver in disgust at the pet name. Jaehyun's eyes, which were previously staring at yours, suddenly flit over to Nina’s face.

“Oh yeah, of course. I’ll go get ready and be out in a sec. Why don’t you go wait in the car?” He smiles at her, dimples showing prominently in his cheeks. You hadn't seen those in a while. “Ok!” She says chirpily, leaning up slightly to peck him on the mouth. Suddenly the pit of your stomach boils with anger. Why were you angry? You surely weren’t jealous, were you? No, Y/n. You broke up with him, remember? You ended things.

She turns in your direction, blonde hair swishing around in her high ponytail. “Bye, Y/n!” The lilt in her voice almost made you want to gag but you force out a smile instead and bid her a goodbye as well.

“She’s nice.” Jaehyun almost snorts. Apparently you hadn’t managed to keep the slight disgust out of your voice as well as you had hoped.“She is. I like her.” He says the words as he looks at you. It almost feels like he’s trying to gauge your reaction. You simply nod and give him a tight-lipped smile at first, your hands digging themselves into the pockets of your denim jacket.

“Well, she’s your girlfriend. Isn’t it kind of a given that you like her?” You state more than asks, although you do feel slightly confused now that you thought back on his words. Jaehyun just shrugs nonchalantly.

“Anyways, you heard her.” He jerks his head towards, presumably, the direction of his car. “I'm heading out now.” He worries his bottom lip between his teeth, as if considering his options. “About that drink, text me and we can agree on a day. Just as friends though, right?”

It was your turn to be surprised now. You hadn't expected him to actually accept, especially after his girlfriend had interrupted the two of you. It takes you a few stunned seconds before you can respond. “Um, yeah of course. Just as friends.” You scan over his face, curious if you could make out any hidden emotions, but all you can see is Jaehyun’s pleasant smile.

You start to walk backwards, suddenly itching to get out of the now slightly tense and awkward atmosphere. You feel his eyes trail after you. “I’ll text you then. Bye, Jaehyun.” You turn fully after your goodbye, still feeling the burn of his gaze on your back.

“Bye, Y/n.”

You walk home that day in the afternoon sun, a weird feeling brewing deep in your stomach and Jaehyun’s leather jacket still safely stored inside your bag.

You watch the droplets of condensation slowly slide down the side of your glass, thumbs drawing idle circles on the table. Jaehyun should be arriving any minute now. The thought of him makes tiny balls of sweat form at the base of your neck. You’re nervous. Just like the day you went to see him at the garage, you were starting to regret ever texting him in the first place. Thinking that maybe you should've just ignored his acceptance of your invite.

You had tried to, really. But Jaehyun’s name on the message app on your phone had tempted you one too many times. You had caved a few nights prior, asking to meet at a relatively well-known bar in the city and now here you were, sitting alone at a table, leg bouncing in anticipation.

You heave a sigh and take up your phone. Just as you decide to distract yourself with some mindless game, you hear the scrape of a wooden chair from across you.

Jaehyun gives you a smile as he sits down in front of you, prominent dimples poking out. “Sorry I’m late. Got caught up in traffic. Have you been waiting long?”

You shake your head. “No worries, I only just got here about five minutes ago.” Liar. You had been waiting for over half an hour. Jaehyun glances at your glass and raises an eyebrow. “They must have fast service then.”

You don't let the nervous churn of your stomach get to you as you respond. “For a pretty girl sitting alone in a bar? The service is always fast.” You let a small smirk adorn your lips and Jaehyun chuckles at the statement. “Fair enough.”

After a quick glance at his phone screen, Jaehyun directs his attention back at you, leaning on his forearms. “So, how’ve you been?”

You lean back a bit, unconsciously (or more likely consciously) putting space between you and Jaehyun. “Oh you know, going to work, reading up on the news, getting into brawls outside of clubs, the usual.” Jaehyun laughs at what he assumes was a joke. You bite your cheek as a smile finds its way onto your face as well. If only he knew.

It’s ridiculous really, how easy you could fall into conversation with Jaehyun. It feels natural. However in your mind there’s a voice constantly reminding you that this was just what you had come to fear all those months ago. What you had with jaehyun, you had considered it a fling, even though it had felt like a relationship more than you cared to admit.

Your parents failed marriage and the many failed attempts at love on your own part had made you quite opposed to the idea of a relationship. The last time you had been with someone for longer than two weeks had been Jaehyun. You were adamant about keeping feelings out of the mix as best you could, but Jaehyun was a dangerous man. He had found a way to weasel himself into your heart and as soon as you had realised, you shut him out completely.

You wonder why jaehyun was sat in front of you at that moment, an easy smile on his face. When you think back to the night you “broke up”, you recall being rather horrible to him. The hurt expression on Jaehyuns face resurfaces in your mind and you push it down, choosing instead to focus on the conversation.

You laugh genuinely at Jaehyun’s crazy work story and watch how he leans back, the smile on his face making his eyes crinkle up. He was still gazing at you after you finished your little fit of laughter. “What?” You ask, a shy grin pulling at your lips under his gaze.

“I missed your laugh.” You don't fail to notice the way his eyes trace over your face and down over your body, lingering at the curvature of your breasts in your low-cut tee. You shift slightly in your chair and his eyes flick back up to meet yours. You both stare at each other, as if daring the other to back down.  You can feel Jaehyun's leg brushing against yours under the table.

Oh, you think, Jaehyun was a dangerous man indeed.

The bathroom wall is cold against your bare ass as Jaehyun slips your jeans further down your legs. You were unsure of how you got here, your memory going hazy after the little staring contest you had earlier. He’s kissing you feverishly, lips travelling up and down the sides of your neck as you claw at his t-shirt covered back. You audibly gasp as you feel his fingers rub at your clit through your panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet already.” You whimper as he grunts in your ear. You had slept and made out with countless people over the past months and yet none of them could make you feel even a fraction of pleasure compared to what you felt whenever Jaehyun touched you.

His mouth trails down further along your body, roughly pushing your t-shirt and bra out of the way to latch onto your nipple, his free hand coming up to play with your other one. Your head falls back against the wall as he grazes your sensitive bud with his teeth, loving the mix of pain and pleasure.

Jaehyun’s hands grab hold of the back of your upper thighs as his face hovers above your heat. He looked up at you through his lashes and you grabbed a fistful of his hair as you urge him on, the ache between your legs nearing unbearable.

A jolt of pleasure shoots up your body as you feel Jaehyun's tongue lick up your slit before pushing his tongue inside of your folds. His hands still work at your clit in small circles, applying just the right amount of pressure to the bud. You bite your lip as you try to hold back the moans that were threatening to spill, this was still a public restroom after all.

“Fuck, Jae.” You curse as he inserts two fingers into your entrance, moving to suck and kiss at your clit. You could perfectly picture his satisfied smile as he hums against your core, once again sending vibrations throughout your body. Gosh, how you had missed this.  

As Jaehyun picks up his speed, you feel the knot in your stomach twist tighter, the gasps leaving your mouth becoming higher in pitch. After a few more pumps you feel your walls contract around Jaehyun’s fingers and pure bliss overcomes you, your body going limp, almost sliding down the wall if it weren’t for Jaehyun coming up to support your weight.

“Shit, I missed this so much. I missed you so much.” Jaehyun mumbles in your ear as he turns your body. Now you stand facing the large bathroom mirrors, hips slightly digging into the border of the sink and panties still halfway down your thigh. You stare at your reflection. You look fucked out, hair and clothes in disarray, with a flurry of small marks beginning to form on your neck and Jaehyun slowly kissing down your shoulders. Looking at yourself was like a slap in the face. This was wrong, oh this was all so wrong. You broke up with Jaehyun. Jaehyun had a girlfriend.  You were fucking Jaehyun in the bathroom of the bar where you had asked to meet up as friends. Friends.

Shit. Panic floods your body and you know you need to get out. Out. Out. Out. You turn around and promptly push Jaehyun off you, nearly making him topple over in the process.

“We can’t do this! You- I - We- we just can’t!” You make quick of pulling your underwear and jeans, grabbing the purse you had previously discarded and rushing out of the room, Jaehyun still struggling to keep up with the sudden turn of events.

“Y/n!”

You hear his shouts coming from behind you but you don’t stop. Making your way through the tables, you desperately try to smooth down your hair so you wouldn’t look as disheveled. You push open the main door and the cold air of the night hits you as you step out on the streets. A shiver runs down your spine. All of this was wrong.

And all of it was your fault.

It was currently around 8pm and you’re sat on the couch in your apartment, the stark light of the tv screen casting shadows around your dark room. You mindlessly flick through the channels, not really finding anything worth watching. Your eyes keep on wandering towards your phone. All week you had been avoiding Jaehyun as if he were the pest. You Ignored both his calls and his texts. There was a twinge in your gut.

None of this was Jaehyun's fault. You had given him false hope of a relationship and broke it off. You had ignored him for months after. You had asked him out. You had made him cheat on his girlfriend. You were the one that had played with him as if he were some toy.

He cheated on his girlfriend because of you. Granted, you had slept with guys who were in relationships over the past few months, but that was different. You didn't know prior if they were in a relationship or not, they were just a hookup.

But this time, you had actually seen the girlfriend. Talked to her, touched her. And while yes, you had not liked her in the slightest, that didn't justify your actions. You were a cheater.

Just like your dad. Thanks brain, for that helpful reminder. You sigh in frustration at yourself. Maybe you should just go to bed.

You get up and switch off the TV, but just as you are about to head to your room, you hear a knock on the door.

You freeze, unsure of what to do. A few seconds later, the knocks are repeated. Deciding to just see who it is and not stand around in your living room like an idiot, you make your way over to the door.

“I broke up with Nina.”

These are the first words that leave Jaehyun’s mouth, as he stands on your doorstep. You don’t know what to respond in all honesty. Jaehyun worries his lips between his teeth. “Can I come in, please?”

You nod in your stunned silence and step to the side to let Jaehyun through, letting the door click shut behind him. There’s a pause, you don't know what to say and it seems like he doesn't either.

After what feels like an eternity spent in silence, Jaehyun finally turns to face you. “Ok, I’m gonna say something now and… before you say anything in response, please hear me out.” There’s an unsure fluttering in your chest, your heartbeat speeds up as your hands begin sweating slightly. The situation makes you anxious but after a deep breath, you nod at Jaehyun, signaling to him that he could continue.

“I know that what we had a few months back was intended to be nothing but a fling to you. I may not have known it at the time, correction, I had no idea it wasn’t serious for you at the time. We had been together for three months by then. I believed your lies, I’ll even go so far as to admit  you fooled me.” He chuckles in attempt to lighten the blow, but its bitter and it makes the guilt in your stomach rise up to your throat like bile.

“I don’t think it was directly your intention to hurt me though. You probably wanted something fleeting, a temporary boyfriend to get your insisting friends off your back. But you fell in love.” You cross your arms defensively on your chest, an innate response to Jaehyun’s accusing statement.

He sighs and pauses for a moment. “You can lie to yourself all you want, Y/n. I know you were in love. I know it because I felt it too. And you realized... and you got scared.” You feel stubborn tears prick at your eyes and turn your gaze towards the now very intriguing pattern of your carpet floor.

“Now maybe this isn’t my place to say but.... but I feel like it is. I know why you’re scared of the possibility of loving someone, of loving me, but this whole agenda you have of pushing away anything that might make you happy is ridiculous.” You can hear the anger in his voice and it pushes you to do something you know you shouldn’t.  

“You say that if you know anything about me!” You yell at him and his expression is taken aback for a second before the furrow between his brows reappears.

“Oh, I don’t know anything about you? Will you stop pretending that our relationship, which by the way, was an actual relationship, didn’t happen? Just for one second, can you acknowledge the fact that we had hour long conversations, that we actually shared our feelings? That you’ve told me about the crap you went through.”

Your breathing has become labored. You want to disagree so badly, want to argue that he knows nothing, that he’s wrong. But he wasn’t, and you sure as hell knew it. “Fine!” You scream. “Fine! Okay! I admit it. We did have a relationship! It was real! I did-” You inhale a shake breath, your voice not as strong when you continue. “I do love you and it scares me.” Tears are flowing down your face freely and you don’t hold back, you can’t, not anymore. “I’m so scared because I love you… so much. I love you more than anyone. These past few months, I- I’ve tried e- everything to get my mind off you but I can’t- I can’t and I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I mess shit up and make you confused and make you cheat-” “Hey, hey, hey” Jaehyun cuts you off as he crosses the space between you, his warm hands cupping both sides of your face. “First of all, the cheating part… we both take blame for that. And the confusion thing, well, it’s true, you did confuse me…a lot but it’s okay because you love me and I love you... and I forgive you.”

You shake your head fiercely and try to pull his hands from your face. “Don’t you get it, Jaehyun? I’m no good for you. I’m… I’m the bad guy.” jaehyun chuckles softly as he rests his forehead against yours, little puffs of his warm breath hitting your face. “You’re not the bad guy, Y/n. You deserve happiness. Will you let me give you that happiness?”

You breathe out deeply through your nose and close your eyes, feeling the anger and frustration at yourself slowly seep out of your body. Jaehyu’s touch relaxes yu and as you open your eyes to look at him, he smiles and leans in to press his lips against yours. It’s a short kiss, sweet and caring and delicate. The kiss is followed by another and another, until they get longer, more heated, more passionate.

Jaehyun’s calloused hands travel around your body with ease. He softly pushes you against the wall and presses his body flush to yours. His kisses trail all over your face, your neck and al the way down to your collarbone. It isn’t long before he hoists you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around his middle . Everything feels natural, easy. You let yourself relax fully and fall into his touch. You let him carry you to your bedroom and push you down onto mattress, let his kisses wander further south until your squirming under his hold. You let your sounds of passion echo through your room until late into the night and finally, finally allow yourself to actually feel something.

You’re done holding back from love. You could finally admit what you were repressing for so long.

You love Jung Jaehyun.

You trace the small crack in the wall next to your bed in the dark. It was well past midnight, and yet you’re wide awake. You feel Jaehyun’s arm safely secured around your waist, the warmth of his body behind you seeps into your very soul. The room aroundyou is quiet save for the few times a car outside passes by and the shallow breathing of the man pressed up against you. Some time ago, you would have found that Jaehyun’s arm around your waist felt like a cage, something that weighed you down and tugged at your heart uncomfortable. Now, however, you find comfort in the way his skin feels on yours, the way you can faintly feel his heartbeat against your back. You feel safe.

Your eyes fall to the corner of your room, where the brown leather jacket still lay folded over a chair. You smile to yourself.

You would give it back, eventually.

[snapchattingnct]

Champagne Giggles

Park Jisung x Reader

Genre: Mafia!au, fluff

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: underage drinking, minor religion mentioned

Notes: This was definitely supposed to be posted early but college started again and I got busy. But here’s my take on the “Champagne Giggles” prompt for @neowritingsnet Summer Writing Fest. It’s not 100% to my complete satisfaction but my sisters urged me to finish and post it so here it is~

Lifting the glass of champagne up his lips, Jisung admired the painting that was held up for display before him. His eyes touched over every inch of the canvas, taking note of each brush stroke and the colors that were carefully blended together. While the colors were much more muted, having had faded away through the many years, the painting was still stunning.  

Many of the people around him gushed and fawned over the artwork but he simply kept quiet as a sudden idea popped into his head. Without a second thought, Jisung pulled out his phone from within is his suit jacket. Pressing the phone to his ear, he continued to casually sip at his champagne, eyes surveying the rest of the art hall. 

On the third ring, a loud voice answered back, “Yah, what do you want?” 

“Have you gotten Mark anything for his birthday yet?” Jisung questioned as he eyed the painting in front of him with a smile. “Because if you haven’t. I think I just found the perfect gift.”

“Ohhhh,” Chenle hummed, interested caught. But then pausing, he asked, “Wait. Aren’t you at that dumb art exhibit in Positano?”

“Yup. It’s not that far of a drive. You’re already in Italy.”

He was met with silence on the other line. Continuing to sip at his champagne, Jisung waited for the information to register. Not long after, he was met with a resounding, ‘ohh’ before it increased in both volume and pitch. Chenle’s words soon became inaudible as he continued to shriek and scream on the other line in excitement. “Oh man, this is going to be so much fun! I’ll see you soon. I knew Positano was a good option. ”

.

Chenle had announced his presence with a hard clap on to Jisung’s back, startling him and nearly making him spill the champagne in his hands. Glaring the boy down, Jisung complained, “Give me a heads up next time when you’re going to do something like that!”

The orange haired boy simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Then turning his attention to the painting that Jisung was so invested in, Chenle whistled lowly. “Is that The Last Supper?”

“Nope,” Jisung replied. Then shrugging his shoulders in a similar fashion that the other boy had done before he added, “It’s about the closest you’ll actually get to the original one anyways. The real one would be harder to steal. Since it’s not just a painting but whole drywall that was painted on. Imagine trying to smuggle that out of anywhere.”

“Bummer,” Chenle pouted. 

“Hey, there’s literally only two copies of The Last Supper in the whole world. The important ones anyways. One painted by Cesare de Sesto, but that’s in Switzerland. And then this one, here, painted by Giampietrino.” 

Rolling his eyes, Chenle said, “I came here to help you steal a painting, not get a history lesson on it.”

“Yeah, well at least know what you’re even stealing, Chenle.”

“I came here to steal a painting for Mark’s birthday gift and that’s it’s literally the perfect gift for our Christian boy.” He grinned widely, eyes gleaming with uncontainable excitement. Leaning in closer he whispered, “So what’s the plan? Are two people enough to pull off this heist? Because the last time we tried to pull a heist off with the two of us, it didn’t end too well...”

Groaning at the memory of their failed heist in Austria, Jisung shook his head. “Please don’t remind me. That was one of the most embarrassing fails I’ve ever done in my whole life.”

“Trust me, I feel the same way too. That’s why I’m bringing it up, because I don’t want an incident like that to happen again.”

With a sigh, Jisung nodded. “Well, it would be ideal for there to be another person… but no one else is available. They’re all arriving in Italy tonight…”

Then as if the heavens above had heard their dilemma, someone suddenly came up behind the two of him, silent as a mouse, saying, “I can help.”

.

You watched in amusement as the two boys jumped at the sound of your voice, their eyes blown into saucers as they stared back at you as if they were a deer caught in the headlights. 

Frantically waving his hands in front of him, the taller boy smiled awkwardly, “No, no. It’s okay. You didn’t hear anything.”

“Oh, but I heard everything,” you countered back with a smile. “And I want in.”

“We have no idea what you’re talking about…” The taller boy continued to stutter out. 

“We’re stealing The Last Supper for your friend right? You need a third person for the job and I can be that person.”

Just as the taller boy was about to open his mouth and protest again, the shorter one, countered, “How can we trust you?”

“You can’t,” you smiled back at them in amusement. “Well you can, but knowing you two, you won’t trust me one bit even if I prove my innocence and loyalty to you. But what I can do is buy the two of you some time and give you the blueprint to this entire building, how does that sound?”

You watched as the two of them share a look and a moment of silence passed before the taller one turned around and extended his hand out to you. “Pleasure to work with you. I’m Jisung.”

Wrapping your fingers around his, you gave his hand a small squeeze. “Hmm, I know.”

.

After exchanging the basic pleasantries, the three of you ended up discussing the heist in some empty room of the art exhibit hall. Of course it was closed off to the public and locked but that was nothing too hard for Chenle to pick into. It was a basic lock, nothing fancy. So all that it took to crack it open was using the classic paper clip method. Child’s play, really. 

When the door clicked open, you weren’t even surprised. The moment that you had spotted Jisung hanging around in the art exhibit near The Last Supper for way too long, you figured he was planning something. And it became even more evident that he was full of mischief from the way that he kept glancing around the room, checking every exit and taking in all the securities in the room. Then came Chenle, who was a little too loud for such events like these. And when they huddled together, still standing before the famous replica, you had caught them. 

It was about time that something a little exciting happened around here anyways. You loved art but that didn’t mean that you could stand around all day and watch these paintings and not get bored. The two boys were the perfect distraction that you’ve been wanting all day long to happen.

With the building’s blueprints spread out on the table before them, you all began strategizing their game plan. 

“Okay, there’s a total of three main exits to the gallery room that houses the painting.” You pointed out as your fingers traced the paper. “But there’s also a private back door that only staff or security is allowed to use to leave. And there’s two vents directly above the painting that leads to the back exit.”

Nodding along as you spoke, Jisung commented, “So the vents are going to be our game plan. Where is the entrance and is there any security cameras?”

“The ventilation system is pretty basic, so it just cuts around the whole building in a loop. You can enter where you can exit. So you can use the back exit from the camera room to get in.” You told him. “As for cameras, you don’t have to worry about the main ones. I can handle those. The one that you will need to worry about is the hidden one out back. It’s out of range for me to control. A separate security company handles all of the ones outside.”

“I got it,” Chenle said with a smile, a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

“Then perfect!” Clapping your hands together, you pulled the blueprint from the table and began to roll it back up. “Sounds like an easy heist, no?”

“A piece of cake.”

.

It truly was a piece of a cake. It was way too easy. 

Not to mention, it made the whole job a lot easier since the exhibition hall was now closed for the night with only the hall’s manager and two security guards patrolling.  

It barely took five minutes for you to disable all of security cameras within the building and subbing blank recording over it. And it took Chenle less than five minutes to break past the firewalls and take charge of the cameras outside of the building. 

Giving Jisung and you a thumbs up, Chenle grinned brightly, “Let’s get this.”

Next thing you knew, you were crawling in the hot vents, sweating buckets as Jisung led the way in front of you. Chenle had used his magic and managed to shut down the entire air conditioning system so that you and Jisung could crawl through the vents. But with no air blowing, it was extremely hot and suffocating in the vents. 

You had changed out of your evening dress into a set of spare work clothes you had in your locker, consisting of a pair of black pants and polo shirt. Meanwhile, Jisung didn’t have that kind of luxury and was crawling through the vents still in his suit. How the boy was doing that and still living and breathing? You didn’t have a single clue because it was hot as hell. 

Within your earpiece, you listened as Chenle continued to give you both live updates on any movement in the cameras. “Coast is cleared. When you hit the next section, take the left vent and it’ll lead you directly right above the air vent of The Last Supper.”

“This is as easy as taking candy from a baby.” Jisung muttered in front of you. Then turning around to face you, he asked, “Why don’t you guys have better security around here? I mean you guys are housing some of the world’s most priceless pieces of artwork. You would think security would be more than than two lousy, lanky security guards.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you said, “Couldn’t tell you. I’m just the receptionist here.”

“Also, they really did not do a good background check on you if you’re up here climbing through the vents to help some random strangers steal a piece of artwork.” Jisung smiled before adding, “You’re completely over qualified to be a receptionist.”

“Why thank you. And I say the same thing every time someone argues with me over the prices of our exhibition tickets.” You laughed. 

In the short amount of time that you had met Jisung, you found that he was even more of a sweetheart than expected. He had the cutest nose scrunches and he had the prettiest eyes. Each time that he would smile or laugh, his eyes turned into cute, moon shaped crescents. And it was simply adorable. He was nothing but a stuttering mess at first but the moment he had warmed up to you, he wouldn’t stop talking. Not that you minded anyways. 

Snapping you out of your thoughts, Jisung tapped you on your shoulders, handing you the flashlight as he did so. “Alright, we’re here.”

True to his words, as the both of you looked down through the grate of the vents, you saw the painting in all of its glory. 

Carefully unscrewing the vent’s opening, Jisung lifted it, setting the piece of metal to the side. Then tossing you the rope, he told you, “Hold on tight. I may have eaten a slice of pizza too many before coming here.” 

With a roll of your eyes, you wrapped the rope around your hands and anchored it to the vent. “I’m sure I’ll manage, pizza boy.” 

For a boy his height and statue, Jisung swung down from the vents with ease. He was in his element one hundred percent just as Chenle was when he hacked into the security cameras. 

Jisung was barely halfway down the vent when Chenle’s voiced began yelling in your earpiece. “Oh crap! The manager’s coming back through for some reason! He’s moving from his office and heading in the direction of the exhibit hall. Eta four minutes.”

Yanking on the rope gently, you urged Jisung to move quicker. “You heard Chenle right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jisung waved his hand dismissing your distressed call. “I got this. We’ll be gone before his hand touches the door handle.”

“Well at the rate that you’re going, I don’t know about that.” As the words left your lips, Jisung had already reached the painting. 

Jisung sent you a smug smile over his shoulder as he pulled on the rope, his hands grasping the painting with the sound of Chenle’s frantic talking coming from your earpiece. “You guys need to get out of there asap. The manager is literally twelve steps away from the door.”

Mustering as much strength as you could, you began tugging on the rope, grasping it tightly with both of your hands. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as your heart thundered within your chest. The thrill was too much and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud in excitement. 

“Oh my gosh, stop laughing and get out of there before he comes in!” Chenle screeched loudly, his breath coming out unevenly in your ears. The poor boy was nearly on the verge of hyperventilating. “Five more steps!”

The both of you were barely able to keep your laughter to a low volume when you finally pulled Jisung back up into the vent and quickly shutting the air vent’s door as you did so. 

.

The moment Jisung opened the vent’s door to the camera room, Chenle was already on his feet and unhooking all the wires from his computer, packing up at the light of speed. Chenle was nothing but a blubbering mess as Jisung helped you down from the vent, along with the painting in hand. 

“They’re outside, right in the back. I completely disabled all the cameras for the next two minutes and thirty six seconds. And we have exactly one minute and forty five seconds before the manager comes barrelling in here to check the tapes once he notices that the painting is gone.” 

Quickly tossing Jisung the screwdriver, Chenle added, “Screw the vent back on. Grab everything and lets go.”

You watched with immense fascination at how fast the two boys cleaned the place up, making it seemed like no one was ever in the room in the first place. Within seconds, the room looked spotless and Jisung grabbed you by the shoulders, pushing you out the door. When the three of you stumbled out the door, a sleek, black limo was already waiting out back. 

There wasn’t much time to fawn over the car as Chenle yanked the door open and ushered you all inside hurriedly, glancing over his shoulder nervously. But the moment that the three of you made it safely inside the limo, stumbling in as a mess of lanky limbs and a huge oil painting, Chenle broke out into a high pitched laugh. Cheering loudly, he banged on the divider and told the driver to take it away. 

Besides you, Jisung couldn’t help but send a huge smile your way before reaching across and giving Chenle a loud high five, the impact echoing in the car. Then sharing a look, the boys made eye contact for a brief moment before they turned their attention to the other person in the car. “Happy belated birthday Mark!”

A young man dressed to the nines in his deep burgundy suit, who was no more than a couple years older than you, shook his head, smiling and said, “You guys are completely unbelievable.” Then passing each of them a flute of champagne, he toasted, “Here’s to another successful heist you wild kiddos.”

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 56

New Student, Familiar Face

Summary: In which my dumb af ship from 2013 can once again set sail. Word Count: 1,674 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

There were going to be about 50 new First Year students this year- Ven did the headcount. Was it a bad turnout? It seemed like a low number to him, considering how large the school was. He couldn't even remember his student orientation to recall the amount of students there. But weren't all the students cherry picked from around Departure County? Maybe this count was right after all.

'She's not here.' Vanitas grumbled somewhere to the left of Ventus.

“She is.” Ven mumbled back, making a vague motion to the sound of Vanitas's voice. “She promised she would be.”

Yet, despite telling himself otherwise, Ven still couldn't see Sabrina in the crowd. Right now, the new First Years were taking their house tests en masse in the auditorium. When they were done, they were to give their tests to the headmasters -all five sitting on the stage itself at a very long table- and wait for the others to finish. Once everyone had their tests reviewed, each headmaster took turns in announcing who was a part of their house. It was a very nerve racking time; it almost rivaled the stress during finals.

Ventus had thought that choosing to hide out in the balcony seat would have helped him see Sabrina better. He had been quickly proven wrong in that regard. Sure, he could see everyone, but he couldn't see them clearly. From the back you couldn't tell who was male or female- you only got a very good look at the back of their multicolored haired heads. Sabrina's hair was a raven black. He's never forget that. Too bad she wasn't the only new student with black hair, though…

“There she is!” Ventus declared, almost a bit too loud, when he saw Sabrina head up on stage to hand her test in. It took all it had in Ven to not shout her name and wave over to her in hopes of getting her attention. But it was a massive relief in knowing that she was attending Daybreak Academy; he didn't have to call for her because she'd be on campus from now on. Maybe if the orientation finished quick enough, they could have lunch together.

Ven let out a sigh of relief as he relaxed now. Knowing that Sabrina was here led him to wait for the orientations to finish. He was so relieved that, when Invi stepped forward to announce the students coming into her house, Ventus almost didn't hear Sabrina's name among them. It took a solid minute for the realization to sink in, and when it did, Ven's heart nearly stopped.

He and Sabrina were not going to be in the same house. Okay, yeah, sure, it had been a one out of five shot. They wouldn't be sharing many classes, but they could still see each other after. It could still work. You know, just like it did with Ephemer and his other friends. Nothing to freak out about. It was just… disappointing. Yeah… Really disappointing…

The orientations finished up about 30 minutes after the house results were announced. Ven had snuck out just before the stream of new students came out of the auditorium. He waited at the front entrance for Sabrina to come out- idly passing time by watching the clouds roll by.

He only had half a second to register the happy exclamation of “Ven!” before being tackled from behind. A loud, undignified shriek escaped the boy's lips as both he and his tackler crashed into the ground. Ventus blinked for a moment, waiting for his senses to come back, before realizing who had now pinned him to the ground.

“Sabrina!” he rasped. “You… you're…!”

A wide smile stretched onto Sabrina's face. “Lemme guess,” she said, “I'm a huge surprise! Or the best thing you've ever seen! Or, or…!”

“You're crushing my ribs.”

“Oh.” was the small answer. “Sorry about that...” and she quickly got off of him soon after. She even helped him get back onto his feet.

“So now what?” the girl asked him. “Classes start tomorrow, right? So what do we do now?”

Ventus blinked. There was no stopping with this girl, huh?

“We could go get lunch.” he offered. A nervous laugh escaped the corner of his lips. “The cafeteria isn't that far from here.”

“Sounds great!” Sabrina agreed with a cheerful nod. Ven smiled and before he was able to tell her anything else, Sabrina quickly grabbed him by the hand and led them both to the cafeteria.

. . .

“I can't believe we won't be in the same house.” Sabrina pouted. “What a bummer.”

“Yeah...” Ventus agreed with a little nod. “It'll be a bit harder to get together, but not impossible, I don't think.”

“Will the schoolwork be the same?”

“Should be. I'd have to ask Brain or Lauriam about that.” After a short pause, Ven then let out a small sound of remembrance. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “That reminds me...”

Ventus reached down into his backpack and pulled out a three-ring binder filled with paper.

“I, uh, I wanted to give you some of the notes I made last year.” he nervously said to her. “We won't have the same teacher for a lot of classes because we're in different houses, but it should still help. I think.”

“Sweet!” Sabrina declared, taking the binder without a second thought. “Thanks Ven!”

The boy bashfully smiled while scratching the back of his neck as Sabrina poured through his notes. They weren't the best, but they would still work for studying. Ven watched her- he was quick to notice the faces she made as she tried to make sense of curriculum she had yet to learn. Her eyebrows were knit together and her nose was scrunched up, almost like a little rabbit.

“What was it like being adopted by rabbits?” Ven asked her- not at all realizing what he said before it came out of his mouth.

“Hmm?” the girl hummed. It took her a moment to realize what he was asking; when she did, she looked up at him with her nose even more scrunched up in disgust. “Ortensia's a cat. Oswald's the rabbit.”

“O-oh...” Ven stumbled, “I didn't mean...”

“'S okay.” Sabrina told him with a little wave of her hand. “I know what you're sayin.' It wasn't bad, honestly. Can't complain. They had a lot of money that they didn't know what to do with. Such as it is when you've got a multimillion billionaire to call a brother, and he's one of the slightly more generous ones. Or maybe he has a really guilty conscience? Old Ozzie was cut off from the money for years, so I've been told.”

Then Sabrina's face softened a little. She looked Ventus over with a curious eye before asking, “What about you? What's your family like?”

If it was possible, Ventus's face went from a bright red to a ghost-like white. “M-my family isn't special.” he sheepishly claimed, averting his eyes from her.  “My parents are nice. I've got some siblings, but it's not...”

“How many?”

“Huh?”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“I have… four.” Ven confessed. “Last year, just before I started going to school here, my mom had a pair of triplets. Sora, Roxas, and Xion. Roxas, he… he looks a lot like me. It's really weird. I haven't gone to see them in awhile though- I plan on doing it soon. I've kinda been waiting for Mom or Dad to give the okay. Gets kinda hectic raising three babies at once, or something.”

“And what about the other one?”

He didn't mean to, but Ventus flinched. “What do you mean?” he asked her. But Sabrina wasn't having it; giving him an impatient click of her tongue.

“You said you have four siblings,” she pointed out, “So what about the other one?”

“It's a long story.”

“I have time.”

But Ventus shook his head. “I can't tell you.” he told her in a quiet voice. “You'll never want to be my friend again if I did.”

Sabrina raised a bemused eyebrow at this. She's probably only known Ventus for a full day now and she had massive doubts that she would suddenly decide not to like him. Family was family- how bad could it really be? And, by golly, was she a stubborn one.

“Can I have a name, at least?” she asked him- she even put on her best puppy pout. Ventus made the mistake of looking at her for half a second and immediately gave in.

“Vanitas.”

Without wasting a second, Sabrina followed up with another question. “What house is Vanitas in?”

Ven shrugged as he looked back down at the ground. “He's, uh, he's in An… guis...” He paused, only know realizing what he had said. He looked up at Sabrina with wide, fearful eyes. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” the girl snickered. “So he's here, at Daybreak, and we're in the same house! That's so awesome! I can't wait to-”

“But you can't!” Ventus quickly told her; he almost leaped at her to take her by the shoulders, but just barely stopped himself in time. “Vanitas is… Vanitas is…!”

His new friend was giving him a weird look. “Vanitas is…?” she repeated. She even rolled her hand at him- a not very subtle hint that he just needed to spit it out and get it over with. Ventus once more averted his eyes.

“You'll hate me.” he mumbled. Ven's fist started to clench as he thought about Vanitas. He couldn't tell Sabrina about his brother. She wouldn't understand. She just wouldn't…

Ven jumped when he felt Sabrina calmly place her hands into his. He looked up at her to be met with an unreadable expression. His heart leaped into his throat in realizing how much older she looked when she wanted to be dead serious; it was like the ten year old had switched bodies with a thirty year old instead.

“Ven,” Sabrina then said, her voice quiet and still, “Is Vanitas even real?”

[spiritedoperetta-moved]

[PREVIOUS ENTRY]

Given the new set of pens he’d acquired this Christmas he’d decided he’d give one of the newer ones a go. Taking them out of the package, still fresh since receiving them. New smell and all. Giving the top a few clicks of his thumb and he was ready to go. Settling in his seat tonight with a bit of a chuckle. Time to write. 

                                          January 4th, 2020

Happy New Year. I guess is what I’d be saying if this holiday season wasn’t so dreadfully shit this year. I’d expect nothing less, but it is rather dull these past few months. Even when Christmas came around, only the kids seemed excited. Bit of a bummer, but I’ll live. Not like I expected much, Christmas and New Years are going out of fashion fast. Especially with the turn of the next decade. Bit sad to see it go, really. I feel older every second.  Least things weren’t all bad. Got to celebrate an anniversary at least. Albeit in a rather... ‘out of worldly’ manner. I don’t usually do shit like that, but eh. Can tell X liked it, so I can’t complain. Was all for her anyways. Broke out of my comfort zone for once. Even if I haven’t fucking acted in over two hundred years. I’m so rusty I broke character half way through, fucking hell. There’s also been some buzz about the Kid fucking making rounds around Galar. Apparently he has a posse now and is racketing up quite the buzz in the rock n’ roll market there. Considering it seems to be rather popular, so can’t quite be surprised. Apparently he goes by ‘Luparo’ now. Just so he doesn’t have to deal with any bullshit back in Alola. But, it’s easy enough to see it’s him. Since they don’t go and give Seals plastic surgery anymore. At least SOMEONE is doing fine... Interestingly enough... I got posed with a question the other night. That is probably the only thing I don’t have an answer to. ‘What would make you smile?’. Everyone has something that’d make em smile, surely. But, I can’t for the life of me remember something, that wasn’t a person or an event that made me smile. Not an object, smell, taste, sight, not anything. Can’t quite think of anything that is within the mortal limit to make me smile, and genuinely. Not one of my fake cocky or mischievous ones. Or even a half assed one. I’m talking if I had teeth they’d be glaring smile.  I dunno, I’ll sit on it. I’m starting to think I more so just never had something like an object, that made me smile. And it was always a lover or an event like my first kid that did it. It’s probably just cause my life has always been hell and I never had time for happiness. Never lived.

[artemisia--hq]

Softyama-kun

To be completely honest, Kageyama’s violent tendencies is something Shouyou will never fully understand, despite being a target of it most of the time. No, scratch that, he’s subjected to it all the time. It’s like Kageyama has resigned Shouyou to be his personal punching bag. Add to that the verbal abuse he’s constantly been receiving—nevermind the fact that Kageyama’s insult vocabulary is restricted exclusively to dumbass, idiot, or stupid.

He sometimes wonders if there’s even a single bone of gentleness in Kageyama’s body, or he’s just hard-wired to be a violent, brash asshole.

So when Shouyou lands awkwardly after a spike (which he still hits perfectly, mind you), falling on his butt and elbows, consequently causing a disruption to their practice, he’s more than prepared for the volcano to erupt, hurling fiery rocks and spouting scorching lava with no mercy.

Except it doesn’t.

Kageyama just stands there, uncharacteristically quiet, even while the rest of the team huddles around Shouyou to ask if he’s all right or if he’s hurt anywhere.

He’s fine actually, he’s kind of used to it by now, but Kageyama's lack of reaction unsettles him. It puts him on edge the rest of practice, all of his senses on high alert that as much as a glance from Kageyama on his direction activates all of his defenses, ready to fend off whatever jab Kageyama throws his way, both physically and verbally.

But practice ends with not a single ‘dumbass’ or a smack in his head from Kageyama, whose face has been contorted into a grimace ever since Shouyou’s incident. But it’s not his usual ‘Frownyama’ look. There’s something else etched into it that Shouyou can’t quite identify.

It’s just the two of them in the clubroom, Kageyama still unusually quiet as they change into fresh clothes. Shouyou pulls off his shirt , and he winces when the fabric grazes over his elbow, mumbling an ‘ow’ under his breath.

A zip of a bag closing and then,

“Hinata.”

Shouyou jumps a couple of centimeters off the floor at the sharp sound of his name. The temperature around him drops to subzero, like he’s been doused by a bucket of ice. Oh crap, what if Kageyama has been waiting all this time for them to be alone, and this is the day he finally cracks and murders Shouyou out of annoyance?

He gulps dryly, and ignoring the trembling of his voice (and admittedly, his entire body), he says with as much grit as he can muster as he turns to face Kageyama, “Wh-what?”

Kageyama is frowning, clutching a small red pouch in his hand. Is that where he keeps his murder weapon? Is he going to torture him before he kills him off? Shouyou’s heart is pounding in his ribcage, blood pumping in his ears.

“Let me see your arm,” Kageyama demands as he takes a step towards Shouyou.

Instinctively,  Shouyou steps back, raising his arms in a defensive stance—if he’s going to die, then at least he goes down fighting. But as soon as he lifts his arms, the stretch of the skin on his right elbow causes him to audibly hiss in pain.

In one long stride, Kageyama surges forward, grabbing his arm with so much gentleness and oh god he's going to die and he’s about to cry for—

Wait.

Gentleness?

He feels warm fingers circling around his right forearm, firm and secure, yet light and gentle at the same time. He feels a tug, and he’s dragged down to sit on the floor.

“Open your eyes, idiot. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He doesn’t even realize he has his eyes shut tight. He tentatively opens them, one eye at first, followed by the other. His vision fills with Kageyama staring at him with his brows drawn, clearly exasperated, but still with a hint of that other thing.

Kageyama drops his gaze to Shouyou’s forearm and carefully twists it inward, just enough to expose his elbow. His swollen, bleeding elbow. Shouyou gasps in surprise. He must have scraped it when he landed earlier but didn’t notice, the adrenaline from playing possibly numbing him from the pain.

He hears Kageyama click his tongue. “You need to stop yourself from getting hurt so often, dumbass,” he says, annoyed, but there’s a certain tone to his voice that makes Shouyou’s stomach go ’shwooop,’ which equally confuses and satisfies him.

Shouyou studies Kageyama. He’s examining Shouyou’s wound with intense scrutiny, looking almost exactly the same way when he analyzes the things happening in court. Shouyou is still waiting for Kageyama to explode and berate him to oblivion or beat the living crap out of him, maybe twist his arm until it snaps in half, and this is just Kageyama lulling him into a false sense of security.

But Kageyama does none of those things. Still holding Shouyou’s arm in place, he opens the small pouch he’s been clutching with his other hand and only now does Shouyou catches the words ’First Aid’ printed on it.

With surprising finesse, Kageyama cleans his wounded elbow, swabbing it with an alcohol-soaked cotton, making Shouyou flinch.

“Stay still,” Kageyama snaps.

“But it hurts,” Shouyou whines, biting his lip, trying not to cringe as the alcohol seeps through his skin.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“I am not!”

“Are you sure?”

“Ow ow ow! Hey, you did that on purpose!”

Kageyama just smirks, eyes still focused on attending to Shouyou’s scratched up elbow. It’s a bit odd though, after he complains about it hurting, Kageyama dabs on his wound more tenderly than before. Or maybe he’s just getting used to the sting.

Kageyama applies some kind of ointment around the cut. Thankfully, it’s just shallow, just deep enough to draw blood. Kageyama’s exceptionally skilled at this, which kind of annoys  Shouyou—is he just good at everything he does? (Except academically. This guy is a certified idiot.)

Still, seeing Kageyama act like this, touching and holding Shouyou as though he’s a piece of delicate china, gentle and so very un-Kageyama, perturbs the hell out of him. Although he has to admit, experiencing an unexpected side to the ever grumpy and gruff Kageyama, a side no one else gets to see, is not entirely unwelcomed. The thought floods his chest with a soothing warmth, the jittery feeling in his stomach escalating.

But it’s weird. Kageyama is not supposed to be like this, most of all to Shouyou. He’s supposed to be rough and harsh and obnoxious, not this—kind and caring and dare he say, soft.

And now, with Kageyama’s face so close to his, silky dark hair fluttering whenever Shouyou exhales, Kageyama’s own breath skimming over his skin as he covers Shouyou’s wound with gauze, makes his heart thud erratically in his chest it’s almost painful.

“Why are you doing this?” Shouyou asks suddenly, the words out of his mouth before he can even think about it. He doesn’t even know what exactly he’s asking.

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Because you have a cut, dumbass. Why do you think?”

“Yes, but… why?”

Kageyama stills for a second and with a heavy sigh, lifts his head to look at Shouyou. “Because I don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

A snarky retort is half-formed in Shouyou’s mouth, but it dies as soon as he takes in the look Kageyama is projecting to him right now. His face is scrunched up in a frown, but his eyes are glazed with the thing.

And Shouyou finally has a name for it.

Concern.

For one ceaseless moment, brown eyes blend with blue, and Shouyou feels a pull, as if there’s a taut string linking him and Kageyama, tugging them closer.

But then Kageyama breaks eye contact and the look is gone, along with that bizarre fizzing energy between them, as if it never existed in the first place.

“If you get seriously hurt and can’t play properly, it’ll be my problem,” Kageyama grunts as he returns his attention to Shouyou’s wound.

Typical.  Of course, that’s what Kageyama is concerned about. It’s not like he actually cares about Shouyou’s well-being nor does he expects him to. He’ll probably be worried the same way if Kageyama injured himself and can’t toss to him. That would be a bummer.

Shouyou laughs. “Aww, don’t worry, Kageyama-kun. It’s just a scratch; I can still play. I’m a lot tougher than you think.”

Kageyama snorts. “I doubt that.”

They bicker some more, as Kageyama finishes patching up his wounded elbow. It’s strange and ridiculous, how all the arguing and bantering are what makes being around Kageyama comfortable and just plain right. How Shouyou really doesn't mind that Kageyama is rude and short-tempered and rough.

But seeing a soft Kageyama once in a while isn’t all that bad.

(He kind of wants to see it again.)

***

for @nyankittyblr who's craving some soft kageyama (^.~)☆ hope you like it!

ao3: artemisia_HQ