#this is soooo something that middle school me would dream about lol

[queerstudiesnatural]

i was in a full 2010s romcom in my dream last night lmao. i was in some sort of school and this boy started talking to me about the? idk i think it was swordfish figurines i had? i think they were supposed to be snails. anyway he said they were cool and i was cool and long story short i got a boyfriend. i was my middle school self btw and i couldn't believe someone actually liked me and i was vibing with this boy so much, he was sweet and funny. and then one day i was on the bus and the only seat left was next to my middle school bully and her pack of mean girls. so i sat there and tried to ignore them and i was texting my boyfriend and of course they all started reading over my shoulder. and then they all started laughing and i was like what. and they told me they had asked the guy to pretend to be interested in me to humiliate me. he never actually liked me, he was dared to talk to me and date me and how could i think anyone could actually like me etc. it was all them, they just hired this guy to mess with me for fun. so of course i was devastated and confronted my boyfriend when i got off the bus, and he admitted he'd started talking to me as a dare at first but he'd grown to genuinely like and even love me, and he begged me to forgive him etc. but of course i didn't. i told him never to talk to me again and i was soooo hurt like i remember crying so much in my dream because i genuinely liked and even loved him, and i'd trusted him. anyway he tried everything to get me to talk to him again, he'd send me cards and messages and try to get us into situations where we'd have to talk to each other like getting us partnered up for art class etc, but i always refused to engage. until one day sjonnie my beloved @castielsprostate was texting me and telling me about his day and how he was at a party for his friend ils who had just gotten his degree in like engineering or something. and sjonnie said oh btw your boy is here. and i was like my boy? and he said yeah your ex. he's here. and i was like tf is he doing there why is he in the netherlands hello?? and sjonnie was like idk apparently he has family here and he's been talking about how he hurt someone he cared about and he needed to get away and find himself or something. and idk i guess i was moved by that and i finally decided to drop my wall and reach out to the guy. so i answered his latest text, and he was so happy i was talking to him, and i asked him what he was doing in the netherlands and he said how do you know i'm there?? and i was like you're at a party with my friend. apparently you both know ils who's passed his engineer exam. and he was like omg ils brought us back together??? i'm gonna kiss him!! and yeah anyway we started talking again and i said i just wanted to be friends, i needed to get to know him and trust him again. so we did that but of course i still loved him, and we eventually ended up back together and lived happily ever after the end

[smoosnoom]

hello moonie :] i listened to the songs u gave me and !

i really really luved 'how soon is now?' by the smiths and i definitely need to listen to them more !!! im so obsessed w how he sings certain lyrics it sounds So nice (literally listneing to the song rn as i type lol)

u were right abt me enjoying 'crybaby' by destroy boys a lot as i already know that song and its one of the 2 or 3 songs i know from them lol . its really really good

i Immediately added 'saturnine' to my main playlist once it was over !! the chorus is So nice to listen to i really luved it !

i had forgotten u said u were going for the vibe of floating in the ocean and when listening to 'andromeda' i literally thought 'this song feels like floating down a river or something' . the way she sings 'let me in if i break / and be quiet if i shatter' was So. gah . its good.

as for my recommendations:

summertime - my chemical romance

heaven, iowa - fall out boy

unpunishable - ethel cain (the chorus of this song is Everything)

so far so fake - pierce the veil (1:30-on, but especially 2:25-~3:00 is Beautiful. i . luv guitars .)

and bonus song because its all that stuck in my head currently : bury me in black (demo) - my chemical romance . very different from the other ones lol .

ok that is all i think :> i hope your week is good and not stressful and that any writing block u may have is broken <33 also do not worry about answering this quickly i am So ok w patiently waiting until ur able to answer please do not feel bad if it takes a while ok byebye ily

yes omg ok i am such a fan of the smiths . which is probably my biggest red flag LOL but i cant help it !!!! theyre so good !!!!! and i think half of it is just how morrisey sings some certain words . he is such an asshole but Damn it if he doesnt make his songs unique .

i think u already knowing and liking the song is so crazy but also . i am kind of proud of myself for guessing right on ur taste :D

im honored !!!! and yes i have a whole playlist about just . songs that feel like floating around on some mystical beach, its based on this freaky dream i had but . if u ever want it ...

ohhh i should say . i am in fact an mcr and fob fan LOL . i have already listened to both those songs, summertime is sososoooo good but so is the entire album, and ive been loving the new fob album :D i think my personal favorite is maybe . well ok i have three LOL "love from the other side", "heartbreak feels so good", and "i am my own muse" ofc . i feel like i picked the most popular ones 😭 theyll probably change ! also . completely unrelated omg but ive been . kind of . crushing on a specific white man ok and specifically ethan hawke and then imagine my surprise when i see him on the album ??:W?? what the hell was that . what the he lll . anyway .

ok i listened to unpunishable and i love love loveeeeed the section after 3:30-ish . like it was soo like . metallic sounding with her vocals and the ringing guitar and it was just so everything . it made me want to write something crazy so badly, it was amazing !!! ive only heard a few songs by her but this one is definitely top three for me i think . wow

i did have . a pierce the veil phase for like fiveseconds in middle school LOL but i enjoyed this one !!! i got flashbacks to 2018 but i really did enjoy it :D i think ill always like their sound, its always so . indulgent . i did really like the bit at 2:25-3:00, i didnt even realize u commented on it LOL i was like Wow . wow . it was so so good

oh i loveee bury me in black . that entire era will b so close to my heart forever i think and its just so . good . oh my god . the brash guitar and drums are soooo . i need them permanently playing forever and ever

ok sorry for giving u a whole essay 😭 i just had a lot to say i think LOL

but here are mine !!!!

if u liked how he sings certain lyrics then u would loveeee "a rush and push and the land is ours" by the smiths . the way he sings rush and push . oh boy

are u a fan of p!atd ? i think u would like them even tho i am brendon urie's biggest hater . but ryan ross ... loml . anyway . "new perspective" is so underrated and one of my favorites, very reminiscent of the 2000s pop punk scene !

also a more like . "weird" sounding song but its so so good . "girls & boys" by blur ! its one of their more popular songs but it holds up so so well

and . in honor of me purchasing a radiohead poster . i think u would love radiohead . i recommend . "just" . a popular song but i think u would absolutely enjoy it and My Bad if u have already heard it before . if u have i would not be surprised !!! i think it trended on tiktok for a second ? idk

anyway . thank u so much for being so so patient, it means everything to me :) i adore the songs u recommend me and i was kind of itching to answer this to get some more recs LOL . ok byebye ilyt !!!!!!

[silvermistcosmos]

good luck with your new work then!! keep me updated on how you’re keeping up with it♥️ rooting for you bub!!

you make me wish i got home-schooled too because working at your own pace and sleeping in</3 the dream honestly,,, i’ve studied my entire life in private school and let me tell you that stuff is kinda crazy there too lol, but i made a lot of friends that i still talk to nowadays so i think that’s the only cool part about all of this.

yes khh and kr&b are some of my favorite genres along with k-indie <33 so !! yes, def give those genres a try.

JAY💔 park jongseong my beloved, he’s so attractive and talented and lovable and</333 i get it what you’re saying. we love jay in this house

ohhh when i first started with kpop my first group was bts too hekwsi jungkook used to be my ult but i just listen casually to them now, they’re still very dear to me<3 oh and i’ve heard songs from dkb! i saw them debuting so ik they’re really talented ♡ AND !!! OMG YOURE A FIX??? the taste‼️ it’s so weird to me whenever i find a fix because my cix boys are so underrated 😭😭 who’s your bias??? i also realized that i stan almost all of the groups you stan!! we love multis in this house🤍

HELPP HELWJA TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE</3 jake has been bias wrecking me soooo much lately like,,,, he has something going on that makes all of us fall for his charm😓 and niki and his blonde long hair looks so pretty omg</33

about the spotify!! i promise i’ll share it with you after i post my drabble for you because,,, what if you discover who i am before i get to “unmask” myself??:p

(talking about the drabble,,, is there a certain genre you would prefer?👀 or a certain enha member???)

—🐰

I feel like being homeschooled though, there's usually a lot more pressure with grades and going to college and being this very very book smart, know everything kind of person. OR it's very possibe I'm just stereotyping because a lot of the families I know that are homeschooled are huge on that sort of thing, but I also know there are tons of public schoolers that go through that as well. But it is really nice to be able to do things in the middle of the day like going out and taking breaks and stuff like that. I sometimes wonder what it's like in school and how I would manage.

yesss, i mostly listen casually to bts now, but I honestly think it would be so nostalgic to go to one of their concerts because oh my gosh, a few of their songs have A PLACE IN MY HEART FRFR! ALSOOOo, I wouldn't call myself a fix, YET! I want to be! I just haven't gotten to know the members yet, but I really love their music! any song recommendations or videos to help me get more into the group? ahhh similar music tastes, I LIKEY!!!

NO CAUSE JAKE IS SUCH A FLIRT, OH MY GOODNESS, HOW CAN YOU NOT BE BIAS WRECKED BY HIM?! IT;S LIKE HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO AHH and OKAY NIKI WITH HIS HAIR RIGHT NOW IS 👌🏻 I THINK THIS IS HIS BEST LOOK! okay! im fangirling hard right now help!

okies! that sounds good! i totally understand the wanting to stay anonymous. I'm also staying anonymous for now with the person im writing my drabble for. it's more exciting that way i feel like.

(ok ok, fluff and humor are always my go to, but some good angst to make me cry is always good too so whatever you feel most comfortable with. do you want to make me cry is the real question. if so, you're providing the tissues.)

[ahtsumu]

Hiiii can i request a hcs for akaashi, iwa and oikawa where they secretly have a crush on their childhoodfriend!reader for so long and they panic when the reader got asked out by someone that they can't stand? I hope this makes sense👉🏼👈🏼🥺 ty so much in advance i really love the way you describe things in your writing💓💓💓💓

longtime crush + childhood friend!reader being asked out by another hcs with akaashi, iwaizumi, and oikawa

genre(s): angst oops

warning(s): nope!

a/n: hey so you didn’t specify how you wanted it to end so i just left that open-ended ?? hopefully it meets your expectations haha :D also i may have gone a little ham with akaashi’s im sor ry 

[akaashi]

akaashi tried to accept the fact that you just might slip out of his grasp–– he really did

it’d always made more sense for him to just go with the flow, letting things happen to him instead of making them occur himself, because he trusted that there was a logical explanation for everything that happened

but the insane, paralysing ice that was spreading through his chest at the moment did not make sense

your text had sent five minutes ago and akaashi felt like he hadn’t breathed since. his brain was going haywire

y/n: soooo maeda asked me out today

he started typing out his response for the third time, paused, deleted, started typing again... paused, deleted. was there any way to make “say no and go out with me instead” sound less selfish? less… demanding?

trying to retain even the smallest bit of logic, every possible outcome to his text played vividly through his brain

option a: studying for math tests separately. no more after-practice snacks at the 7/11 near school. he starts mornings a bit later now that he can’t stop by your house first. you tell kinda funny lame jokes to maeda instead. bokuto slings one arm around akaashi’s shoulder and ignores how the other just hangs awkwardly now. your teacher stops calling your mom to complain about how much you talk in class–– she complains about your falling japanese literature grades. no more “good luck akaashi”s before every game. you avert your eyes in the hallways. he misses you every day.

option b: a kiss for every problem you both get right. holding hands as you stroll into the 7/11 near school. he starts mornings even earlier by having breakfast at your house. maeda watches him with envy from afar. bokuto third wheels behind you. your teacher starts calling your mom to complain about akaashi. you wear his jersey and kiss him before saying “good luck akaashi” at every game. you wink in the hallways. you love him back.

the wave of jealousy that had washed over him whispered in his ear that not telling you to say no wasn’t an option–– in fact, seeing you with anyone else but him wasn’t up for discussion

with your conversation a blur through his panicked eyes, his fingers made the decision for him

keiji: you should say no and go out with me instead

if akaashi had been as collected as he typically was, he would have seen that in the time he spent weighing his options, you’d sent a second and third text

y/n: i said no btw

y/n: i like someone else haha

[iwaizumi]

iwaizumi had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve–– he preferred his affection to hint at itself through his words and actions, no matter how ambiguous they were

still, the creeping suspicion that all of his affection had been lost in translation burrowed itself in his head when he walked into the cafeteria during lunch and saw you laughing beside another seijoh third year–– some guy he remembered to have heckled oikawa at a game before

discreetly, he walked past your table from behind, trying to gain an idea of what the guy could’ve possibly been saying to make you beam like that

“.... bowling on friday maybe? are you into that?”

iwaizumi blinked as he passed. were you being asked out?

suddenly the only thing he could hear was his own blood pounding against his eardrums— only broken through by his own voice telling him to keep walking, keep walking, keep walking

he felt completely lost. was it too late to start laughing at your jokes instead of merely smirking and rolling his eyes? was it too late to text “sweet dreams y/n” instead of “go to bed it’s late”? was it too late to start greeting you by wrapping you in his arms instead of ruffling your hair? but he’d been doing that since you were both children…

“hajime!” you called out once lunch ended, bouncing over to his side, “you’ll never guess what happened”

“hmm?” he asked, struggling to keep his composure

“i got asked out by yamamoto”

iwaizumi swallowed uncomfortably and crossed his arms over his chest. “oh.” 

“you’re not gonna ask if i said yes?”

he stayed silent, unsure if he even wanted to know

your face fell just a little bit. “y’know, hajime, sometimes i wonder if you even care about me.” you’d meant for it to come out playfully, though he could hear that you were upset

the voice in his head spoke up again— say it. say it. say it.

so he did

[oikawa]

oikawa felt like you’d pulled the rug out from underneath him when your note said that you wouldn’t be walking home with him that day because you were going on a date

with his mortal enemy, not to mention

all his life, he’d grown up with you at his side: from the schoolyard swing set where you’d compete to see who could swing the highest to the middle school gym where he took you to junior high prom to class 6 in aoba johsai where he’d often find his eyes gravitating to you every so often

he’d thought you would, like the earth does with the sun, revolve around him forever and, similarly, he’d also thought that he had forever to tell you that he loved you–– that he’d loved you for so long that he’d forgotten at what point his feelings even began. and until today, he’d thought that you loved him too

but now, as his chestnut eyes scanned over the note again just to make sure he wasn’t imagining anything, it finally registered in his brain that if he didn’t make a move now, oikawa tooru was going to lose you

from the table beside him, you watched as he blinked in shock. a curious look flitted over your face. that was not the reaction you’d anticipated

“lol are you surprised that someone actually finds me attractive??” you wrote on another slip of paper, sliding it on top of the original note on oikawa’s desk

you’d expected a reply seconds later, something along the lines of his usual snark, something like “ofc not even shrek found love”

but his reply never came

in fact, oikawa remained silent for the rest of the class, absent-mindedly fiddling with your first note between his fingers as he stared ahead, mind most definitely lost elsewhere, only returning to the present once the bell rang for lunch

“tooru,” you called out after him in the hallway, “what’s wrong?”

“why?” he asked, gesturing to your note in his hand. “why him?”

you furrowed your brows. “what do you mean? he’s nice”

“and me? am i not nice?”

it became a lot clearer to you that, perhaps, what he was really asking was: why not me?

you’d always had an inkling that there was something that tiptoed between the lines of your friendship with oikawa–– something that surfaced as gazes caught red-handed and then locked, as hugs that lasted a beat longer than most, as rare glances into the hidden universe inside his mind

you were just too afraid to jeopardise your oldest friendship for a feeling that might not have even been returned

but as oikawa stood there in front you with his eyes wide with imploration, knuckles white around your note, it suddenly struck you that maybe–– just maybe, not all was as hopeless as it seemed

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With @all-these-paperback-dreams!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

¡Hola!

I’m back! Today we talk new book-inspired interests, recommendations, and getting books.

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

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[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Kylie, she/her; country: United States; three adjectives to describe her: Nerdy, driven, and funny. If "perpetually baffled by existence" counts as an adjective, then that too /end]

1. What is your favourite fairytale-inspired retelling?

I don't read many fairy tale retellings, but the one I read and that stuck with me for years is East by Edith Pattou. I remember checking it out from the library in middle school and absolutely loving it. A few years ago I found it at a library book sale, and it actually held up! I was so afraid I would hate it now that I was older.

2. Last book that inspired a new interest?

I'm not sure if this is really a hobby, but I finished Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain last month, and one of the things that really struck me in the book is the permanence of handwritten letters. She cites extensively from letters she wrote to people and ones she received throughout the book, and it lent so much more power and depth to an already emotional book. So I decided that I was going to try to write more letters to people and mail them. It's fun to get things in the mail, and it's been rewarding on my part to just write things out and see my feelings and thoughts in my own handwriting. Hopefully, my friends don't get annoyed with all the random letters they get lol

[This project is precious, I wish someone mailed me handwritten letters! Or left me little handwritten notes, I don't care. I just think there's something magical about the care you have to take when writing versus typing!]

3. Does your TBR scare you or is it manageable?

Oh I'm definitely daunted by my TBR. There are so many things I want to read, and there never seems to be enough time! I've gotten better at not buying books lately, so I haven't added too many new things to the list in a while. 

4. Any book blogs you'd recommend?

Okay!  I mainly just follow people here, so my top book blogs are @the-forest-library​ (Mable is honestly one of the nicest, coolest people I've ever been lucky enough to talk to. She has great book taste and has such diverse interests that I always learn something or get a neat recommendation whenever I talk to her), @lilymaidofgallifrey​ (Anna is the SWEETEST. She's got an ongoing project about apocalyptic books that's really fun to follow and feels apt for this day and age), @anassarhenisch​ (She has such good book discussions and really cool rec lists that are a great way to find more things to read), and @freckles-and-books​ (Lindsey produces some great content, and her book photos are soooo nice. She does a fantastic job of updating what she's currently reading, so it makes for another resource to find books I may not have heard of before).

[This is the sweetest! Thank you for taking the time to talk about each booklr independently!]

5. How do you get your books? Library? Bookshop? From friends?

I get them from lots of different places. I've been going to libraries more lately since I've been lucky enough to live in places that have solid library systems. Other than that, I tend to either go to library book sales to finds new reads or I'll order books from indie bookstores when they're newer and books by authors I really like. A lot of my friends aren't big readers, which is kind of sad, so only a handful of people have ever sent me books (but the ones that do have great taste and know just what I'll like).

Free space to say/add/recommend anything!

I really do love talking to people about books, so I'm always open for conversations if people want to interact more on Tumblr. As for recs, my go-to's are the Books of Pellinor series by Alison Croggon (YA-ish fantasy series that has incredible world building), the poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke, and Persuasion by Jane Austen.

You can follow her at @all-these-paperback-dreams.

----------------------------------------------------

Thank you, Kylie! This was a super nice chat.

Next interview: Wednesday, 7th of October

[hanamuranobuyuki]

About the Amanda, Jyushi, Jiro, Love, Life series

Today I thought I would try to give a little bit of insight to the ongoing series right now. It’s surprisingly been a couple of months since I began this journey, and with how much I have planned to write for this, it will probably take a few more until I’ve written all that I have planned out. With the sheer length of these works it does take a long time, so I might have forgotten about a loooot of stuff, but I’ll try to list off the things I remember quq. If you’re interested in reading some of these backstories, you can after the line break^^

For those interested in reading the series as it gets updated, you can read it here! I hope you enjoy this!

To be completely honest, I should have been done with this little excursion after writing Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness. I thought that this much was enough, and I was having low confidence issues as to whether or not things were likable, if they were in character (or somewhat at the very least...) and the list could go on forever.

But ideas kept popping into my head and what was supposed to be disjointed scenes out of everyday life for Jiro and Jyushi as they manage a long distance relationship after only being together for a day turned into Closing the Distance Between Us..... quite comical if you ask me considering the word count just got longer from there *cries into the distance*

But to tell you the truth, I’m happy I continued this journey despite the challenges. I feel like the way I’m progressing through this is giving it a more complete story that embodies the “circle of life and love” I imagine thanks to Amanda’s existence. This is also the reason why I named the series the Amanda, Jyushi, Jiro, Love, Life series. It’s a circle of connections, founded by Amanda, and it branches off into love for Jyushi and Jiro, which betters their life and/or changes it drastically from what it could have been. So with that kinda pushed out of the way, lemme tell you about some good old background info.

1. Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness is not my first Jiroshi fic

... it’s just the first one I’ve completed. After being immersed in the Hypmi fanfic archives and devouring the sweetness that is Jiroshi I started thinking about things I could write. The first one came in the form of Jyushi wearing red lipstick, which to this day I don’t know if I’m making it fluff or more explicit but I was hooked on the idea and... stopped writing 500 words into the work. The second one came in the form of An Outrageous Circumstance. I wasn’t surprised about Buster Bros making an appearance in my strange dreams, but after reflecting on it I realized I could use this and switch Jyushi with me in the dream plot. I fortunately did manage to finish writing that, so if you’d like to read that, you can here.

Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness was born from the concept that Amanda has more of an importance to Jyushi’s life than ever imagined. I wondered, what would happen if Amanda had a soul and supported Jyushi? And from there this was born. Initially I was content with leaving it as it was since I didn’t know just how much power I could give Amanda, but they grew on me so much okay? I practically love Amanda as much as I do Jyushi and Saburo. I can’t produce them tho aha... having Amanda as a support person is one of the best things I could write for Jyushi. And I hope people can enjoy this as much as I have.

2. The soulmates concept is mostly forgotten about 90% of the time for me.

Whenever I write more installments I forget that this is kind of a soulmates au, based on the fact that Amanda can see the fated linkage between Jyushi and Jiro. I always imagine this is kinda like a semi rewrite of canon world but at the same time it’s like it’s own little world quq. But whenever I have to stop and think about how much fluff I need to add and just sequential things like that... the soulmates concept come out. I guess I do have to thank myself for actually remembering about it every once in awhile XD

But I will mention that this fate concept will come out more in some of the newer installments. I have prewritten something a little more into the future that heavily talks about the fated pair deal. I hope you’ll look forward to it!

2.1. Why is Jiro the only one that has a fated string?

I wrote this specifically in Amanda’s point of view. If anyone had a fated string, Amanda would believe this person to be Jyushi’s fated partner, because their duty is to look over Jyushi and make sure he receives the happiness he deserves. Amanda cannot see the fated strings of anyone else in the world, because Jyushi is all Amanda truly cares about. Think of it as a special gift Amanda was gifted by the gods for their journey to giving Jyushi his happiness.

From here, I don’t know what else might be important, but I’ll list off some other things that might’ve been written in notes and other things like that.

3. Jyushi has “graduated” high school.

Jyushi’s school circumstances are kinda strange now that I think about it. THINKING ABOUT IT LOGICALLY, Jyushi should be a third year in high school at his age of 18 (or at least... I thought so lmao). Instead, I’ve given him a job and a life outside of school lol. So I’ll just say Jyushi got into school a little earlier than he should have thanks to his parent’s frequent travels abroad. He was raised by his grandmother most of the time, whenever his parents couldn’t stay in Japan. Around middle school, Jyushi transferred to a middle school that was closer to his grandmother’s residence, rather than feed into the middle school his elementary school was joined with, so then the commute from his grandmother’s residence wouldn’t be as problematic.

Amanda was born around this time, and they got to witness the extremely difficult times Jyushi faced. When Jyushi’s grandmother passes, Jyushi moves in with his aunt and uncle who lived in the next town over. Feeling bad about being a nuisance when they were planning on having a family, Jyushi finds a high school with a boarding plan so he doesn’t have to inconvenience them any more than he did. Along with these plans Jyushi also found part time jobs that were allowed in accordance to the school rules. This is where he finds his passion with making music, which is more than just listening to it and singing in general.

Jyushi was fortunate enough that he had his own dorm. Most of that reason came in the form of his “eccentric personality” which came out a lot whenever he was nervous. He had classmates who talked to him, but he didn’t really have friends. With that said and done, Jyushi quietly progressed through school and quietly graduated around his 18th birthday. He was already set with a job though, with the label he is currently under giving him a contract whilst in his third year of high school. The company officially advertises Argo Kishii Gakudan, and Jyushi becomes the lead singer who produces everything on his own. They gain popularity almost instantly thanks to the copious amount of lives they have done.

Technically, Argo Kishii Gakudan was already a couple years old however. They were made up of Jyushi’s upperclassmen that recognized his talent for music, Takeru, Jun, and Keisuke. You will see more of them in Side N. But because they were so small, and had to pay for all their bookings and everything on their own, going out to share their music, even when they were a hit in their frequent live houses, was nearly impossible. Thanks to the backing of their label, Argo Kishii Gakudan was able to perform around the country and do tours. The fateful one that brings Jiro and Jyushi together is their first one to Ikebukuro.

Jyushi in the current day doesn’t have many opportunities to see his mother and father. They’re successful in their own respective companies, and it shows in the way they send copious amounts of money to Jyushi whenever they can’t meet. Jyushi never has used it though, instead saving it and using only his own earnings from his contract and his previous part time jobs.

Sooo that’s my sorry attempt to document the reason why Jyushi doesn’t attend school lmao. And maybe a little insight on Argo Kishii Gakudan lol.

4. Room settings are soooo difficult to envision, especially whenever they’re different from whatever it is you’re looking at

When I started writing Side: I, and even before when I was writing the ending of Closing the Distance Between Us, I didn’t have the image of Jiro’s room to refer to. How I imagined his room was somewhat drastically different, and thanks to that, I ended up not really giving much of a description to those fics. As of today though, I wrote some hefty descriptions of Jyushi’s room because it’s building up on the imagery I had, in combination to Jyushi’s room in ARB.

You’ll get to read it in the next fic I post from this series. Hope you look forward to it!!

5. Music kinda defines a lot of my inspirations to adding to this series

I listen to music all the time while I’m writing. As a result, there are times I get sidetracked based on songs that come to the shuffle. When I wrote Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness and Closing the Distance Between Us, I shuffled a lot of the Hypmi music into my playlist, with a focus on Moonlight Shadow XD. But then I started writing Side: I, and then I came across a really inspirational song when I watched a Men’s Rhythmic Gymnastics routine. While I don’t really associate with the story this song was for, I love this song enough I played it on repeat for like. 80% of that fic entirely.

There’s a couple lines where Jiro thinks about how some romantic music would be playing in the background if it was a drama of some sorts, and this song was a tribute to the fact I was listening to one song... almost entirely. Please listen to it here.

For Side: I-02, another song was put on replay for a little while as well. I made mention of it in the upload post I did for that fic, but I’ll list it here as well.

I hope you’ll give these tracks a listen one day!

7. Some references kinda inside the fics.

I guess I’ll wrap up this mini list of nonsense by mentioning some things I’ve added into these fics based on inspiration from other things or just in random I guess.

Amanda’s Journey to Bringing Jyushi Happiness: I didn’t know how a love at first sight type of story with soulmates au would work out when I wrote it. I was inspired to write the arcade portion of the date because 1. I wanted to write a kiss segment. And 2. I thought arcade dates would be enjoyable XD.

Closing the Distance Between Us: I never expected this would be in sequential order, like I think I mentioned earlier. I intended on this being more like texting and messaging moments between the two while coping with their long distance relationship. Because of this... I... I don’t really know. I didn’t have an excuse to write this XD I just loved the two and my inspiration was the fuel that was this series? Ahahaha XD

You, Me, and Summer: Side I: a lot of romantic feels fueled this fic, among other things. I was inspired to write a whole lot on Jyushi’s hair routine bc of the tsunami season voice lines on ARB. When I did write this, I was also watching a sports anime called Bakuten. It is a Men’s rhythmic gymnastics anime, and it was what I mentioned when Jyushi watches the anime with Ichiro. The game that they all play is the Game of Life, more or less. I played a few games from the game boy edition just to get a grasp on the game ahaha. But the reason why I added this game was because the ARB event that ran me over with Jiro and Jyushi SSRs. They were event scout SSRs... and the fact that I was drowning in Jiroshi feels only to have MORE thanks to official content even if they weren’t in the same team just made me internally scream and dance all night long.

These two... destroyed my account in more ways than one. I’m now technically a Jiro and Jyushi stan rather than a Saburo and Jyushi stan bc Saburo or Ichiro on that matter never come home. But thanks to this I had to play enough to rank on two accounts. Thus... the one month delay.

Side I-02: because of this event, I decided that they should okay their own human sized Life game. I had to give tribute to the event that wrecked me aha. When I was writing this, I drew something on the side as well. . . And while I’m not sure I like it anymore, I thought I’d share it as well.

One hour of watching the sun rise and not being able to sleep led me to drawing this prototype on a whim. And because I’m a fan of drawing Jyushi’s wardrobe... I thought it would be fun ahaha XD I am a newbie still when it comes to digitally drawing but I am happy at how this turned out!

Finally, I will make mention of the haunted house. While hopping through logs on pixiv, I came across some log that showed how Jiro and Jyushi are scared of scary things, but Jyushi is like a sobbing mess and Jiro is just flat out scared. And later, I heard Jiro react negatively to a horror movie in ARB. When I heard this, I couldn’t resist the temptation! And since technically, Jiro and Jyushi don’t know more about each other than you would think, I thought it was a good opportunity to get them to know something else about them.

Sooo... I think that’s all I can think of right now! I hope you enjoyed learning about some of these small tidbits I could remember when I started working on this series. There’s a lot more to this you can look forward to, and I hope you look forward to it!

I will also apologize in advance for the sheer amount of mistakes there may be. I am my own beta, and I’m usually finishing these up at 5am like clockwork XD whenever I hit a slump in my writing, or miraculously reach the end of this series, I will make sure to clean them up I swear TTuTT thank you for understanding QuQ

If you have any questions, you can ask me here! I’ll try to get to them as quickly as possible. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[ambitionsource]

what's the weirdest/craziest dream you've ever had?

OMG I’ve had so many weird ones. The problem is I can never remember them very long, like if I’m lucky they’ll stay in my head just long enough for me to tell Asher and sometimes the techies about them that morning. It’s so bad that Asher has a whole notebook where he writes them down for me (along with weird stuff I say in the middle of the night, because I apparently do that too), because he was tired of me going “I have no idea what you’re talking about” despite me having told him about them like that morning. Hold on, lemme grab it and flip through it and see if there’s any good ones.

OKAY YEAH so this one time, I had this crazy dream where I was like, in this technology commune on Earth, but it wasn’t like... Earth. And I got kidnapped for some reason and then when I was brought to this other place (that was not technology based), they were asking me all these questions about like a war and what I knew about weapons but I didn’t know anything obviously, it was soooo freaky. But then in the dream Asher showed up (he’s always in my dreams, and usually Lucas and Riley show up too, or other classmates, but not always. Asher always is though) and he was the only one who like talked to me normally, and he talked about like... he mentioned this thing -- sorry, Asher’s handwriting is all neat and curly and a little hard to read because he was rushing to keep up with me -- this says something about Adams Station? Whatever that means. I also apparently made a point of saying that Asher’s hair was kind of wild and not perfectly combed, which my Asher underlined and said “yeah, right.”

Oh, here’s another good one. I was a teen pop sensation, but I had an alter-ego, like Hannah Montana style. His name was Jordan Oregon, and my hair was blonde when I was on stage as him. Lucas was my best friend, and Riley, and we all lived in Los Angeles near the beaches. Asher had just moved to town from like Boston or something, and he told me -- as his welcome committee buddy -- that he didn’t like Jordan Oregon’s music, which obviously made me really annoyed. Also I apparently met Carly Rae Jepsen? So that’s fun!

Then in this other one, we were like old-timey, like must’ve been 1800s or something. No major technology to say the least, which makes you wonder, what the hell did teenagers even do back then? So my family moved into this providence, and my dad opened a book shop, and I would work at the book shop because I didn’t go to school cause I like couldn’t read lol. Asher said this is probably because it was old-timey, but I think it’s because I can barely read now, in 2020. So it’s not that unbelievable. But Asher, Asher is like top of his class at the boys school and comes into the book shop all the time to, well, buy books, and dream me is like damn this nerd is cute (he is). So I convince him to read books to me since I can’t read, and he’s so offended by the fact that I don’t know any of the awesome books since I can’t read that he agrees. Damn, that dream me may not have been literate, but he sure was smart. That’s a genius plan. I should refer back to dream me more often.

Anyway, that’s a pretty good sampling. As you can see, when I go to sleep, I really never know what I’m going to get. Dave thinks there must be something special about my brain, like I’m connected to something greater, but I think I’m just very creative. 😌

[purplesurveys]

962

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? I used to have a pair. I mean it’s still around in my closet, but it’s completely broken now with the cable all given out and the cushion for the left ear has been missing for a while. I just don’t have the heart to throw it out because it was my absolute favorite pair of headphones that gave me good memories during a particularly shitty time in high school.

How was your week? A little better. I’ve gotten into the groove at work so I’m no longer shy when it comes to asking questions and giving inputs, and I’ve gained a better grasp of the workplace’s dynamic so it’s also been easier to communicate with people. Heavy life stuff is still around and it won’t be leaving for a while, but they were easier to ignore this week.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? Not really, but my phone’s charger cable recently stopped working. I have a backup that I’m using at the moment and while it’s able to charge my phone, it’s starting to fray and I’m not feeling too good about the wires that I’m starting to see hahaha. I just don’t know how to take care of my cables, guys. Anyway, this question made me paranoid so I took a few minutes to wrap a shit ton of electrical tape on the frayed area so I think it’s all good for now.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I like thinking about my wedding but I truthfully dread the wedding gown part. I’ve never been able to decide what look and style suits me best and I’ve just never been good at determining things like that. I like to imagine that I’d leave that bit to whoever my maid of honor will be, because I’d definitely prize a second opinion more than my own.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Yesterday, 6 PM when I exited the last Google Meet for the day. It was a Friday night and it meant my work week was over :)) I mean I love what I do, but Friday nights will always hit differently.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? I wouldn’t say it bothers me but covers are definitely a hit or miss for me, with way more misses than hits. Nothing wrong with acts putting their own spin on an already existing song, but I’m personally the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type when it comes to music.

What brand of chapstick do you use? I don’t use any mainly because I’m bound to lose them within a week. Same goes for other care products.

Do you really think someone could be perfect? No. Everyone has their flaws and that should be okay to acknowledge.

When was the last time you cried? Wednesday, I think. It’s been three days! I’d count that as an achievement. But idk, my sadness comes in waves so I shouldn’t be celebrating too early. I’m sure I’ll feel a pang soon and be crying again over the weekend.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Cake. Too sweet and rich; I wouldn’t enjoy eating it every day. What letter is the song you’re listening to under? Not listening to music, but I have a YouTube video on.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s would be the lesser evil, I guess. I would NOT want to live through Martial Law in the 70s...I originally wasn’t even going to go with 60s because I think the world was a bit chaotic at the time, but I think my country was mostly unaffected by the political/cultural things happening then so it’s whatever.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? I don’t actively seek them out but it feels nice when someone likes me enough to extend their arms out to me for a hug. I haven’t been hugged for a while and I feel kinda empty.

Do your socks say anything on them? I think some of my socks have the brand name on them but that’s it.

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. AMC.

Have you found out who your true friends are? For now, yes.

Gray or Grey? I use both spellings for no particular context. I simply like changing it up lol.

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? LOL of course not. And I’m very picky when it comes to concerts that I choose to attend anyway, so I doubt I would’ve bought any tickets in the last six months even without Covid unless it was for Paramore or Beyoncé.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Nope, but everyone was hyping that movie up when it came out. It never really looked like my thing < Yeah pretty much. I feel like it’s such a teenage-y movie so I was never drawn to it. I also think it would be too triggering for my depression, so I’ve felt wary about checking both book and movie out.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? One of my biggest fears is to end up alone, so I always have to have some form of a support system to fall back into. I would be very lost if I didn’t have at least one person to rely on.

How many weddings have you been to? I can think of four off the top of my head. I was either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid for all of those.

When you smile, are you confident? Most times I am; I like to smile. But sometimes I smile just to fake it and avoid any questions.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol.

Was the weather beautiful today? For me it is, but only because I like the rain and cloudy weather. Others might find it bleak and sad, but I feel right at home.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yeah, all year long.

Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? If I had my dream modern/brutalist home, grey would be soooo fucking perfect for the bedroom. 

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? I’m open to it, but I don’t think it’ll be a good match for my black hair as both are darker shades as it is. If I could dye my hair I’d pick lighter colors like green or even go all the way to blonde.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yeah, from kindergarten all the way to high school. Private schools here typically give a better quality of education and they don’t give off the for-lazy-spoiled-kids vibe that I always hear from private schools in other countries, which makes them the norm for middle and upper-middle class families.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I have other favorite animated movies, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Finding Nemo. :) I would always tune in for the whole thing if it were on.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? I had to wear one in my first school, but I didn’t need one for college.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? No TV where I am. I think my parents are watching a movie on their TV, but it’s on Netflix rather than a channel.

Does your house have security cameras? It does not.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? Eh, I guess it sounds fine but I’d rather have a pint of ice cream. I think that fits better with the weather and the mood that I’m in today.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? My weight training class last year was a lot of fun. I always felt dead after every session haha but I definitely felt healthier. I wish the semester had gone on longer just for that one class.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Lol I love doing many different things < Same lmao this question is so vague??? My favorite thing to do these days is binge-watch Rhett and Link content, but I like doing so many other things too.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I was with Gabie that day and we went to a local art museum, as well as to a restaurant that she had wanted to take me to.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? We don’t have Walmarts.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never had stuffed animals. Well I was given a few of them as gifts, but I was never into them and they always ended up being owned by my sister.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not even think about it. Just show them that I couldn’t care less, lol.

Are you good at swimming? I can do a few strokes and am pretty good at treading, but I'm prone to panic-kicking when I can tell that the water is too deep.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is such a pain in the ass. Shouldn’t even have to be an issue in 2020 anymore.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Cat-called, whistled at, winked at, lunged at. One good thing about this lockdown is that I haven’t had to deal with men as much as I used to. Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well I only have one layer of bedsheet and it’s the one that covers up the mattress, so it’s tucked in by default. I have a blanket to cover me up when I’m cold.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I find a few videos to watch as that tends to make me feel sleepy the quickest.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? I used to have a tumbler/water bottle in college but I forgot it at the gym one day and when I came back for it, somebody already stole it :( It was such a handy water bottle because it kept my water cold all day, so it sucks that I lost it. I’m planning to buy the same model again soon.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It doesn’t really run in my family save for one grand-aunt who had cancer, so I’m not too worried. But I’ve accepted the fact that it is at least a possibility.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I like being in the middle. Slow walkers are annoying so I try not to be one, and walking fast just reminds me of my mom and how quickly she walks at malls when she’s supposed to be spending time with her family lol.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No. They all fit me just fine.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? Eghhh, it really does. I know it shouldn’t but it really does. I just feel like it’s so invasive and it gives me a lot of secondhand embarassment.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Not really. I like staying safe with my hair. The most daring thing I’ve done with it is get bangs tbh, and I don’t plan on going any further than that.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I don’t feel that way about any age. Whenever I reach ultimate satisfaction and security will be a good enough age for me.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Minnesota.

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? Think about how to tell my parents. D:

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth, drink water.

What exercise do you hate the most? Pull-ups.

What do you do at a party? Drink, socialize, tell stories, eat allllllll the food ha.

[mcrmadness]

Dreams vol 5782

Lol I dreamt about Die Ärzte!!! :D

In this dream I was to some random concert and I’m not even sure what band that was, but at the end DÄ did a surprise concert as well. And the whole venue was actually empty, I was the only person there and for some reason DÄ did not see me nor they didn’t seem to care there was no one (else) there, they were still playing as if they had a full venue :D And they looked like in those mid-90s live videos. And I just remember thinking to myself “I thought I’d never see them live but now I accidentally saw them twice!!!” (In fact, I saw them live for the first time in Poland last year and I still can’t believe that.)

The place in the dream was like a theater, with chairs and the “stage” was quite high from the ground so if you stood right in front, you barely saw anything because it was probably at least 2-3m high.

After their concert, they started doing some random shit which was just the three of them, now looking like they do nowadays, running around these audience chairs and giggling so much. But now there was no longer a stage but another set of chairs in its place and it was like... two sets of chairs facing each other and an aisle going in the middle. I don’t know what was the meaning or use of that space but anyway, I was standing between the chairs and they were running around the other chairs on the other side of that aisle. And I was filming it all because it just looked so stupid - 50-years-old men running around chairs like some kids and laughing their asses off :DDD And I couldn’t wait to get back home to upload those to Tumblr because it was just too hilarious XD

Then I think the dream changed a bit and I was now at home, because I had transferred the videos to my computer and I was about to burn them on dvds or so. I also had other material on my computer but I don’t know if those were my actual videos from Poland or something else (too).

I think there was also a moment where I had gone to Germany or somewhere because if DÄ and then suddenly saw some posts or got news some other way that DÄ was currently in Finland. And that was bugging me so much because why would they do so??? Why when I have spent my whole life in Finland and they don’t care to come here, and then I leave to somewhere and OF COURSE then they decide to go to Finland??? :D And I wanted to go back home soooo bad because asdddddd NOT FAIR :D

In this same dream I also was to school again and I came back home (my parents’ house, it was as if I was back at junior high) by bike and I let our dog outside. And then I was confused because I asked her, in Finnish, that does she want to go for a pee, and she just barked once but it sounded like she would have said “Joo!” which means “Yes!” in Finnish (spoken language) :D And then at some point I was going to sleep because I had to wake up early to somewhere, and somehow the time was flying so fast that I only got to sleep 1-2 hours until I had to wake up again and it was weird because I was not feeling tired at all. I also dreamt of some house or so under ground nearby (actually there’s nothing there) and the whole dream felt like a mystery from that on.

[forreasonswretchedandivine]

Tagged by: @kimchi-fried-ice (feel free to say hi whenever! I LOVE your blog, and you seem very nice I’d love to be friends!:))

Nickname: it’s practically my actual name, but it’s tidge. When I was little my basketball coach would always say my name as tish lol. Then my family started calling me that because they thought it was hilarious, and my mom said it in front of my theatre friends and they started doing it too. It’s honestly grown on me, and I let just about everyone call me tidge BC it usually leads to me telling them where it came from. Also I think it’s cute:):)

Height: 5’5?? 5’6? People always say I should know this but I just never do🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.(side note: if you’re taller than me and also a girl who likes girls HMU😚)

Hogwarts house: I’m like the only one of every person I know who’s consumed 4 Harry Potter things( read first book, watched first 3 movies) but I took a quiz and got slytherin? Sounds about right from what I know lol. I’m nice, but I’ve got major RBF and I’m ALWAYS down for a little drama

Last thing I googled: “where to catch dreepy in Pokémon sword” that elusive motherfucker has a 2% chance of spawning in the wild area and I almost exploded after 2 hours of running in and out of like 3 different tall grass areas. Didn’t find one BUT I found it’s evolved form, which was fine because looking any longer may have killed me

Song stuck in my head: From Eden by Hozier and high five by Sigrid. They are both bangers in their own respect, and the are playing ln my head at the same time right now. It’s kinda nice!

Following:253! Though a few of those are inactive now, I’ve had this account since middle school

Followers: 27 total but 10 are inactive, and I’m pretty sure one is just a spam account that was VERY convincing

Amount of sleep I get: I try for 7-8 and get it most of the time, but some nights I get hit with that good self hate™️™️ and stay up later because why not? Or I’ll be up till 3 in fugue state trying to finish homework/ projects that I procrastinated on lol. I take lots of naps too BC they are soooo great

Lucky number:13! I have no basis behind this, other than because I want it to be, and because people say it’s bad luck. So far it’s been pretty great to me!!

Dream job: 😬😬😬 welll over the past 2 years, especially since I transferred colleges and had a bit of an unexpected major chance( technical theatre> studio art) My career path has been pretty unclear and I’m still not really sure what I wanna do. I’d love to get back into something theatre related because I’m pretty good at it, but lately the art I’ve been doing makes me very happy and gives me a personal sense of accomplishment that theatre never gave me. I’m hoping to find some sort of intersection between the two, so I can be able to make something for either a play or musical, then when I’m done just go chill somewhere for a little while and take a nap. Or like make some cool painting or drawing, make some money from it, then take a few weeks off of doing sutff, repeat. So I guess the short answer is: make art that I enjoy, get paid, not work every day:)

Wearing: what am I wearing?My, my, how sexual!! Just kidding;);). Black boots, high waisted skinny jeans, an button up shirt with a stranger things demegoron pattern, tan cardigan, and a little trans pride pendant I made to remind myself I am valid, and to signal other trans people!

Favorite song: (TAZ balance spoilers) idk if this counts but any version of lucetia’s theme from taz, written by one GRIFFIN TEAR MY HEART OUT ANDREW MCELROY. It’s just so beautiful, and it always makes me feel such strong emotions because every time it plays on the podcast there’s like a major plot development or moment of growth for lucetia, and I JUST. I literally ascend when it plays during the finale when she’s about to stop the hunger, just ugh so good

Instruments: I played the baritone for like a year in middle school. To summarize how that went: I was not very good:/:/

Random fact: I’m always telling myself that this probably isn’t something I should be so casual and open about, but then I tell people anyways. When I was 3-4, my sister was getting on my nerves and we were both on the kitchen counter for some reason. So to get her to stop, I took a knife and cut almost completely through her finger. Needless to say that got me in a bit of trouble with my dad, and to this day most of my family gets on edge when they see me with a knife. Which I find funny because In my teen years and now, I’ve gotten really into buying knifes and swords like some sort of blade gremlin. All of that probably made me sound very unstable, but I promise I’m not, just like sharp things. Im like 30% unhinged at all times AT MOST.

Aesthetics:????? I’m really into symmetry and matching colors of that counts as an aesthetic. My room is probably the best example, because everything in it is organized in a weird messy kinda way. I know where it is but it’s not where you’d think(ex: The sword I have hung next to my window) again I am very much a gremlin girl, and while I keep a lot of weird stuff, Im also very organized and creative so I end up using some broken things to make something new(ex: the bow and arrow I made out of a walking stick, some rubber bands and a 5 mechanical pencils). This description is probably also a good example of my aesthetic, which is to say messy, and slightly incoherent, but prepared and practical. In terms of clothing, it’s a sliding scale between “ For all intents and purposes I was not planning on leaving my room or being perceived physically by others today, but a friend wanted to hang out, and I love my friends so here I am looking like this” And “ I am an ethereal being of pure beauty and elegance, but watered down a bit so I’m still very well dressed, but minus the elegance, and plus a lil slut and probably some black boots”. It should also be stated that my gayness is part of both of these in varying degrees of intensity

I tag: @rosebudyke @negative-ghostriderr @sunshine-nb @severedned @seraphlesbian (y’all don’t have to if you don’t want to tho,but if you want message me! You all also seem very nice☺️)

[stephdaninja]

About Me Tag

I was tagged by: @lizzylunawizardessfanfics, @wizardessheart-sideb, and @god-damn-it-liz

I will be tagging: @youkaiangel, @mrsalfonsegoldstein, @cailannuesugi, @mythiica, @lordbunshin, @solarsollux, @ejli, @mikamiw, @la-piperina, @mcl-mia, and anyone else that would like to do this!

How tall are you?

I am 5′5.

What color and style is your hair?

My hair is very dark brown, almost black (unless the sunlight hits it, then it looks brown), with some leftover blonde from when I went blonde a couple years ago. Right now my hair is a long bob but I plan to cut it shorter, I’m just a lazy fucker. :’)

What kind of student are/were you?

When I was in school I had good grades, I just talked a lot lol My teachers would be soooo pissed about it, it was always a comment on my report card xD I eventually became a slacker, I would put in the minimal effort because I didn’t give a fuck.

What color are your eyes?

Brown

When were you born?

April 28th, it just passed! (hooray I’m old :’))

What’s your fashion sense?

Haha I feel like I have horrible fashion sense, I like to wear jeans and a shirt or rock my anime shirts, but I also want to dress kawaii but I’m not really comfortable with how I look so just anime shirts and jeans.

Do you like school?

I used to like school, until I was bullied all throughout middle school. Then I fucking hated it. And the way US school systems are set up, we’re just thrown out to the wolves that is adulthood.

Where were you born & where do you live now?

Born and raised in NYC, still here sadly.

What school do/did you go to?

Went to a local community college, like -COUGH- 7 years ago...

Full Name:

Stephanie.

Do you wear braces?

No.

Do you have any regrets?

Plenty. Not gonna get into that.

Favorite book?

Tbqh school took the joy out of reading for me, so I can’t really say I have a particular book that I like. One that does come to mind is A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. If I remember correctly, that story broke my heart.

If anyone’s got book recommendations, feel free to send!

Favorite Movie?

This is based off of being able to re-watch and never tire of it: To All the Boys I Loved Before.

Favorite TV Show?

Again, based off of being able to re-watch it and never tire of it: Cowboy Bebop.

Do you wear glasses?

Yes.

Favorite past time?

Listening to music, writing up my fanfic ideas, obsessing over otome men, you know, the usual xD

Dream job?

sighs TBH I don’t have a dream job anymore. Maybe traveling for a living, so like a flight attendant? Or just having the money to be able to travel to wherever I want to go.

What countries have you visited?

The Dominican Republic, Canada, Japan, umm and South Korea for like 12 hours? Does that count? We left the airport and actually got food in the city, so yeah lol  （´∀｀）

Scariest Nightmare?

I’ve had several horrible dreams in my life, unfortunately I can remember all of them: a family member dying, a Twister kind of Armageddon, a Resident Evil Armageddon, being in an elevator and it suddenly dropping down 283 flights (and these dreams have occurred more than once), running for my life from idk what, but the worst ones are the Inception ones where something is trying to get me and I try to wake up and open my eyes and/or scream but I just wake up out of another dream. (⊃д⊂)

Any enemies?

Don’t know, don’t care tbh. I’m tired of worrying about what people think of me. If you like me, cool. If you don’t, cool. Just don’t spread your hate.

Any significant other?

Nope, and I don’t plan on it. Gotta worry about myself.

Do you believe in miracles?

Yes.

How are you?

Had a better day than most, a friend took me out to eat and told me some good news so that made me super happy for him. :D

[sunflowervol69]

15 questions :)

I was tagged by @freakymedecine and @levitatehes and @brielyse11!! thank you, i love y’all 💖💖

1. are you named after anyone? nope! my middle name was my grandma’s but that’s it

2. last time you cried? last night HELL yeah baby i love saturday night depression

3. do you have any kids? no but in another 10 years we’ll see how miserable the world looks and then it’s a maybe :)

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess so! idk i really don’t think i’m all that sarcastic tbh and my “fluent in sarcasm” days ended about a decade ago :/

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? i think their smile probably!! or their general style

6. what’s your eye color? hazel babyyy!!!!

7. scary movie or happy ending? happy ending i do NOT fuck with scary movies lmfao

8. any special talents? i play some instruments aaaaand idk i do crafts and stuff 

9. where were you born? wichita, kansas!! love that wheat baby show me those corn fields yeehaw 🤠

10. hobbies? i mean theoretically i play music, embroider, knit, weave, take care of plants, hike, skip rocks, pet dogs, bake, but mostly i sit on my ass

11. do you have any pets? i don’t have any that live with me 😩 but almost 5 years ago i stole the sweetest little chihuahua from a vet clinic i was working in (she was going to be euthanized but i said fuck y’all she’s mine) anyway then i took her home and my dad thinks she’s his mother reincarnated soooo she lives with him now!!! but she’s still my stinky lovey dovey daughter. my parents also have another dog named toot toot and a couple cats and i love them like they’re my own :)

12. what sports have you played? i guess i played soccer for a few years but past the age of like 9, none

13. how tall are you? i’m 5′11″ but i slouch (i’m a half-giant like Hagrid)

14. favorite subject in school? i mean i majored in english so probably that lol but i also took tons of political science and journalism classes that i loved. anything where i just get to think and discuss lol

15. dream job? i don’t know!!!! i used to love the idea of being some kind of writer or working in publishing but i don’t think i have the discipline to work on constant deadlines. idk i think i would like something outside of an office or with a flexible-ish schedule but i’m probably destined to do 8-5 office jobs the rest of my life lol

i think i’m supposed to tag 15 people and i probably won’t lol but i tag: @inkslingerharry @roseringharrie @nightflowerhes @always-jackedup @givemesomemore @emotionally-imbruised @yes-daddy-i-willl @for-fucks-sake-h @wowweeharrystyles @jeanskort or anyone else who wants to do this jump on in 💖💖💖💖

[transslyblue]

Also "1-99"

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Haha, closed. I don't like seeing the dark void that I call a closet

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Yea, but you can't really see them unless you're close

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame musical, the Tavern Song

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Blue, but I also like a variety of purples and greens

(6) Relationship Status.

Single and not looking

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

69º F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yea, unless I wake up myself

(9) How Many Followers?

118, but I need to go through and block any bots. (;w;)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Leo

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Blue/green hazel. My eyes are multi-coloured so they have blue, green, and brown with a very grey look to them.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I forget daily

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yup!

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I really want to get back to reading some more Lovecraft, but i don't have much time to read

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

"Minutes before librarians ate him."

(16) Favourite Anime?

Uuuuhhhhhh, hm. I guess it'd have to be InuYasha, but I like a lot of anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Err,,, it was a very close friend. Idk if they'd want me to say who they are tho

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Rocks and those snowglobe musicboxes

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Yogurt and a protein bar. Ik, ik real healthy and filling

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Depends on the song, but not really

(21) Favourite Animal?

Owls and cats

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Not really, but when I do it's the diving Olympics

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

2am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I don't wear makeup. Though I have considered it

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Either. Pool is safer though

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Oof, idk if I can pick just one, so imma name a few. @ohhimarx @mirosuikaaa @masochist-incarnate they're all really friendly and nice

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Whichever is most convenient at the time

(28) What Makes You Happy?

The sound of rain, art, my friends talking to me, I have a list that I've posted, so I won't list out here

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Haha, I don't study;;;

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Cats

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Blue-tiful lol, for real though probably bubble blue

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Does Switch/ds count?

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Idunknow

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Not really, but I won't bash on anyone who does

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Black, but is a Link being a meme

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

I save more then I spend.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yea, it's a pink pillow of Lion from Steven Universe and a music stand from when I was in middle school

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Kirby in general

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Nope, but I have touched one before

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Yes and no. It really depends on how long I've been around them

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Omg yes! I remember a few and they were all lucid dreams! (I looked up the term from last time I answered this question)

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Never been on one

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Of Mice and Men

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Both

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Panic!At the Disco, Fallout Boy, or The Neighborhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really. There are some foods I refuse to eat, but otherwise I eat pretty much anything

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yes

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nope! I actually like thunder

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I enjoy reading. As for writing, eh. I'll write out my ideas but I'mno good at fleshing them out to be interesting

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yes. But not too loud, just enough where I don't hear everyone around me

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins! I really am bad at wrapping presents

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Hurts - Illuminated

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Spring and dying from pollen

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

Idk, something salty tbh

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

I'm a transgender male, so i use he/him pronouns.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Both, but I like tea more

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

I'm not in school anymore soooo no

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Idk. Questioning I guess

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

No

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

I already answered this one, so I'll say a new pokemon that I love. Rowlet!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Bruh I am not a fan, but Tumblrs the one I'm on most.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

Idk. I don't have an Instagram

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Yes

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yes, and I plan to stay that way for awhile

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

I use Suave, but I also use TeaTree when I get really bad dandruff

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Depends on the place. But most likely I'd risk the motel.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

My mom yes, my biological father... It's complicated

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I don't really watch movies, so none

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

I don't have an ex

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

Be the person you needed when you were younger. I have no clue who said it, but I live by that

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Eyes in general are great. Idk how anyone can not find something they like in any eye colour

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YesYesYesYes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Nachos

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Voez and Pokémon Go

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Yes, because no oen deserves to die. I'd do my best to help any homeless person

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Haha, not today. Yet

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Not really

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I don't wear jewlery much. But I would like to get my ears pierced properly

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed! I don't want people or my cat to walk in

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I woke up, did laundry, answered these questions

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Pajama pants and a t-shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I've got none. Unless you want me to name what body wash i use. :/

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Phone: Voez, Pokémon Go

Switch: Legend of Zeld: Breath of the wild, Super Smash Bros Ultimate, Kirby Star Allies, Mario Kart 8, PuyoPuyo Tetris, Bayonetta 1&2, Hyrule Warriors, Just Dance 2017, Super Mario Party, Let's Go Eevee, Mario Odyssey, Undertale, Shovel Knight, Pokémon quest, Mom Hid my Game, Deemo, Sonic Mania, Detention, The Coma, Cave Story

3DS: Kirby Clash Deluxe, Kirby Triple Deluxe, Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn, Kirby Planet Robobot, Kirby Canvas Curse, Kirby Mass Attack, Kirbg Super Star Ultra, Kirby Squeak Squad, Pokémon Y, Pokémon Platinum, Pokémon Ultra Moon, Pokémon Alpha Sapphire Pokémon Heartgold, Legend of Zelda Link Between Worlds, Legend of Zelda Majoras Mask, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time 3D, Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass, Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks, Super Smash Bros, Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon, Wario Ware Gold, Super Princess Peach, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow, Cooking Mama, Cooking Mama 2, Sonic Colors

Gameboy Color: Pokemon Blue, Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening

This is over the course of many years

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I had this dream where I was flying a red paper plane. It took forever to carry it up this tapestry, but i did it. When I finally took off this group of white paper planes were chasing me so I shook them off and landed, taking shelter in this museum. This museum held other people hiding and was actually an abandoned grocery store. Then I woke up.

I don't rememebr when this was, but I wrote it down. I have a few more if you're interested.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Strawberry Ramuné

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rainstorms,

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans, since I can't wear sweatpants to work

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Uhhh, probably a slob since I've been in pajamas all day

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Stuffed animals

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Idk. Haven't really wanted one. Maybe a connect the dots one.

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Idk. I watch Pyrocynical and Markiplier, but other than that I listen to music, watch speedpaints, and speed plays of various videogames

[surveysmakemehappy-blog]

Because our 1 year wedding anniversary just passed

Crush/Significant Other/Whatever Survey

1: Do they drink coffee? Occasionally.

2: Are they left or right handed? Right. 3: How do they do their hair? Facial hair? (If they have it) It’s in a bun right now. 

4: What’s their favorite animal? Giraffes. 5: What is their relationship status? We’re married. 6: What is their favorite band/singer? Nicki Minaj. Lil Wayne...etc. 7: Are they more a cat or dog person? Definitely dog. 8: What does their laugh sound like? Ugh, it’s hard to explain. But it makes me laugh. 9: Do they know multiple languages? Which ones? Lol, she knows like 4 words in Tagalog. 10: How old are they? How old are you? She is 26 and I am 27. 11: One word that describes them. Different. Lol. 12: Do they have any pets? We have two doggies. 13: What is their favorite TV show? She doesn’t really have a favorite tv show. She’s really into Shitt’s Creek right now. Super funny. 14: What is their favorite movie? Selena. 15: What car do they drive? Dodge Dart. We got that together back in 2015. 16: What ethnicity and/or nationality are they? Chamorro. 17: Where did you meet them? Work. Payless 🤓 18: What was your first meeting like? She met me like 3 months earlier than my memory. Hers: Health Fair for Payless. She kept checking me out and I gave her the dirtiest look and walked away. She remembered what I was wearing and how my hair was red which is what caught her attention. I don’t like being stared at so I can imagine myself atan babaing her. Lol. Mine: She ended up transferring to my location. I was out of work for like a week for medical reasons and my coworker was telling me how the new girl wants to go back to the mall, so I was like, “That’s because she hasn’t worked with me yet.” Lol. So our first meeting went like this.    Me: Hi, I’m Sabrina!!!  You’re gonna love it here. (ALL SMILEY)    Marina: Hi, okay. (She said I was the only reason she wanted to stay.) Lol. 19: What is their zodiac sign? Are your signs compatible? She’s a Leo & I’m a Cancer. We are only compatible if we make compromises. We have to meet each other halfway. Lol. The struggle has been real. 20: What month is their birthday? August. 21: What is your favorite outfit on them? I like her black pullovers and khakis. 22: Are they good texters? With me, yes. 23: Your favorite feature about their appearance. Her smile. 24: Your favorite thing about their personality. Everyone gravitates towards her. 25: Do they make you laugh? Yes, all the time. 26: Do you make them laugh? She says I’m the funniest person she knows, soooo. Lol .27: Are they good huggers/ kissers? Yes.. 28: What is your favorite “flaw” that they have? Lol, their ears. 29: Are they nice to strangers? It depends. 30: What is the funniest thing they have ever said? I can’t truly choose one thing. 31: Saddest? Ehh, probably when we argue. 32: Weirdest? Have you met her? She’s weird af. Lol. 33: Cutest? Ugh, these questions bore me. 34: Ever dreamt about them? What happened in the dream? Different things. Before we got married, I was dreaming that I cheated on her. She said it was because I was getting cold feet. I’ve dreamt of her dying, leaving me, cheating on me, etc. Haha. 35: How tall are they? How tall are you? I’m 5’6” & she’s 5’5” 36: Do they have a booty? Lol, yes. 37: What are their hobbies? She likes watching meat videos, playing game on her phone, bbqing. Lol. 38: What are their talents? She is a great cook. 39: What would your dream date be with them? I’m a really simple person. Honestly, a late picnic under the stars would be perfect and we’ve done that before for one of my birthdays. 40: Does anyone know about your crush/love? We’re married. 41: What do you guys have in common? We live well together so we have tons of things in common. 42: Do they go to the gym? Sometimes. 43: Do they go by their given name? Yes. 44: What is their favorite color? She loves black. 45: How far apart do you live from them? We live in the same house. 46: What song reminds you of them? Sure Thing - Miguel Wanted - Hunter Hayes Suffocate - J. Holiday Love Don’t Change - Jeremih Latch - Disclosure Faithfully - Journey Ughhhh, so many..... 47: Do they listen to a lot of music? She loves music and always knows the newest, underground songs that come up. 48: What do they smell like? Lol, nothing specifically but do you ever get the “they smell like they used to when you first met” vibes? Love it. 49: If they were in a book (protagonist or antagonist or supporting character, up to you) how would the writer describe them? She’d probably either be the one fighting for someone’s honor (annoyingly) or the person sitting back doing nothing. It’s really either or. 50: How often do you see them? Well, she works two jobs and I work a full time job and go to summer school so we see each other in between. 51: The last text message they sent you? Call me. 52: The last thing they said to you in person? We actually just talked about something with her second job. 53: What is the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in front of them? When I went with her to visit her family, I was helping to bring in groceries and I straight up slipped in the middle of the living room. Marina was soooooo shocked and I couldn’t stop laughing. Lol. Super awkward for me. 54: Do they have any tattoos or piercings? Lol, yes. Both tattoos involve me. 😛 “Forever Yours” is on the inside of her arm and that’s how we used to sign our letters to each other; it’s also our song from Journey “Faithfully.” The other one is a big “Sabrina Ann” on her outer arm. AHAHAHA. In no way did I push that on her, she made that decision on her own before we even got married. Lol. She also has piercings on her ears. 55: What color are their eyes? Brown. 56: What is their clothing style? It just depends on how she’s feeling. She can dress down or dress up. 57: What is one thing that makes them really special? The love she has for me is unfathomable. 58: Will you tell your crush your feelings? Lol, She knows all about it. 59: How long did you know them before you started falling for them? Definitely over a year. We were arguing and it just dawned on me that I really loved this hoe. I loved the fall which definitely happened in the first 6 months of us dating but I didn’t truly love her until over a year later. 60: Was there a defining moment when you knew you liked them? When I told her I left my chicken nuggets in her car when she dropped me home and she came back to drop it to me. I came down the stairs and she was like “Dayummm!” I was wearing my sleeping clothes already which was like booty shorts and a tank top but I was flattered and giddy. Lol. 😂 Also, when she always stayed back off the clock to help me get things done. It was the cutest thing.

[tcsnextgen]

What would a meeting between London and Vic look like, hypothetically ?

(Warning: It’s a bit rambl-ey and I’m drifting off at some point but that’s only because this is such a cool question and I had to use it at a prompt, lol! :D)

Fun thing is that London and Vic will actually meet, soooo that meeting ain’t even hypthetical. :D

I feel that London will be the driving force when it comes to Rory “breaking up” with Vic. Not because she’s jealous but because she sees things he doesn’t see. Even after some years in the streets, she’s still a woman believing in love and affection after all.

Right at this point, I see Rory and Vic being quite in the “middle” of their thing. One, maybe two weeks into it. They might be in one of the pubs around (read as: one of the few pubs Rory and his crew aren’t banned from yet, lol... and EVERYONE needs a fave pub in my universe), and suddenly there’s this tiny woman, clad in laque and lace, very obviously one of those girls, at their table.

“You look like a man in need of special service!” the lady grins cheekily and now makes herself comfy next to Rory, just like that.

Vic is appalled. Gasping for air a little, she gives her a look that says “Uhm, Lady, excuse us...?”, absolutely ready to kill both of them with looks because Rory just smiles at the intruder now and gives her a kiss to the corner of her mouth, which she returns.

“Where have you been for the past three weeks?” he asks cheerfully but instead of giving him an answer, the lady takes a glance at Vic now.

“Ah, I’d love to tell you but I’m a little scared to speak ‘cause Blondie here apparently wants me dead in a ditch.”

Rory now looks at Vic, suddenly realising how disconcerting the moment must be to her. “Oh. OH. Uhm, you- you can stop lookin’ at her like that, she’s just an old friend-”

“What? I’m far more than that.” his ‘old friend’ interrupts him.

“-and the most annoying person in the world.” Rory concludes with a nod.

“There you go. I am London. And please, please stop looking at me like you want to murder me, he’s all yours, really, I can’t stand him anyway.”

Still a bit irritated but slowly realising that... London apparently didn’t mean any harm, Vic relaxes a bit.

“Can I call you ‘Blondie’?” London now asks quite cheerfully.

The irritation instantly comes back and Vic draws her eyebrows together. “What? No, you can’t!”

“’Barbie’, then?”

“What- no!”

She must be the most annoying person in the world indeed.

“Just tell her yer name or she’ll never shut up.” Rory now yawns and he takes another sip from his beer.

“It’s Vic. My name’s Vic.” Vic lets out a sigh.

“Oh, short for ‘Victoria’?”

“Quite obviously.”

“That’s a beautiful name. Look, Vic, I really didn’t mean to piss you off. I haven’t seen this bugger here for a while but if you want we can do the catching up another time.”

Both her and Rory now look at her, apparently expecting an answer.

Vic really wishes for London to leave but she doesn’t want to appear catty either. As much as she liked him, her and Rory haven’t defined what their thing is about so far and she feels she can’t just send an ‘old friend’ of his away like that.

She suppresses a sigh.

“No, it’s okay. Stay. I bet you two have a lot of stuff to talk about.” She forces a smile and checks her phone. “Actually, I should head back to my hostel anyway.”

“Naw, c’mon Vic, it’s not even nine.” Rory protests.

“Yeah, stay with us, it’s gonna be fun!” London agrees.

“No, no it’s alright. It’s fine. Charlie picks me up tomorrow at ten. Shopping marathon. Girl talk. I need every bit of energy for that.” Forcing another smile, Vic gets up and picks up her bag.

“You sure?” Rory asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sure.”

“If that’s what you want?” He bites his lip. “See you around, then?”

“Sure.” Vic gives him a last smile and puts some money on the table for her drink. “Bye. Have fun.” she mumbles before she eventually leaves the pub.

Both Rory and London look after her. Once Vic is out of sight, London turns to her friend.

“Really? I leave you alone for three weeks and you’re fucking Barbie now? Now that’s an upgrade.”

Rory smiles at her. “I missed you, too.”

“How tall is she even? Man, I’d kill to have tits like hers. Have you seen her tits? Why, stupid me, of course you have. Up close, I’d guess. ”

“You done?”

“How’d you find her anyway?”

“‘t was the other way round, more or less.” Rory answered truthfully.

“Where’s she from? She’s hardly from here. Sounded like a yank to me.”

“Boston.”

“And what would she want from you? I mean, she looks like cute little birds help her get dressed in the morning, if you catch my drift.”

“So many fuckin’ questions.” Rory moans.

“And what is it with you two? Oh boy, she really did want to murder me for a second, wow. Does the infamous Rory Jameson have a girlfriend now?”

Rory gives London a look, one that says “Will you finally stop talking?”, but London doesn’t even think about doing that.

“You know I won’t leave you alone until you tell me at least something.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Rory groans and rolls his eyes. “She’s an extended friend of my family and she’s on... what the fuck ever they call that shit over the pond. Summer Break or so.”

“How high school!” London beams.

“College.” Rory corrects her.

“Oh, phew, that would make her at least eighteen. Seriously, Rory, what the hell? What do you want with an American college kid as a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Does she know that as well?”

“Of course she knows.” Rory snaps at her. “She ain’t fuckin’ stupid.”

London gives him a weird smile but she nods and apparently accepts his answer. The two now sit in silence for a few moments. Rory holds his glass in both of his hands now, lost in his thoughts, until London speaks up again. “I’ll leave you alone now. I’ll come by tomorrow, alright? I missed you.”

The two of them say goodbye and I think that Vic and London will see each other for about two or three more times, and Vic will be slightly irritated but London eventually “wins her over” with some occasional “girl talk”. She also tones her manners down a bit - pissing of Rory and his friends might be fun every once in a while but the girls gotta stick together after all.

London always pays close attention to Vic and she sees what Rory simply fails to see. She sees the looks she gives him. She sees how she tries to be casual about everything but London knows that Vic must already be daydreaming of the moment when she has to go home again. About Rory seeing her off last minute at the airport, assuring her he can be a better person, for her and only for her, promising her that they will stay in touch until they will have the chance to see each other again and figure things out.

At some point, she will tell him exactly that. They are on their way back from town, late at night, and hey sit on a railing at an old and abandoned playground, sharing a joint.

Rory brushes the sentiment off. “She knows it ain’t for eternity. She’s having fun, for fuck’s sake, Lon, let her have some fun, she ain’t no baby.”

“It’s so fucking embarrassing how little you know about women.” London scoffs. “The gal has massive heart eyes for you. I know those looks. I have given many of those looks myself and never realised that I was led on the entire time.”

“I am not leading her on!” Rory cuts her off, his voice harsh and with a warning undertone.

“I’m not sayin’ you are, sweetie, but I know that girls like her- oh man. Rory. Girls that age have hopes and dreams, no matter how much they pretend otherwise. Trust me, she’s already pickin’ her damn wedding dress in mind.”

Rory takes another drag and he ponders what London just said.

“She doesn’t deserve this, Rory.” London’s voice is soft now.

“It was her who started it. I never did anything she didn’t want-”

“Of course you didn’t. That’s the problem. You’re such a brooding gentleman, those adventure-seeking college girls are bound to fall for you.”

“You never fell for me.” Rory now laughs and gives London a little nudge and she chimes in laughing.

“I was never like her. My hopes and dreams got shattered a long time ago. Besides, you’re too short anyway.”

“So what am I supposed to do, according to you?” he asks after a while.

“Set her free. Give her a chance. It’s almost over anyway, she’ll be gone in a few days. She’s strong and smart, she’ll heal.”

And that’s when Rory realises that there’s something he has to do. Very soon. He has never meant for any of these things to happen, he merely leaned back and enjoyed the ride but now that he gives the whole situation another thought, he figures that his friend is right. Jeez, she’s always right about these things. If she could only see how smart she actually is. He’s going to do it the next time Vic seeks him out. Every word of his feels like a stab to Vic’s heart until it finally tears apart, he is going to see it in her eyes.

It’s fascinating. After ten years in the streets and knowing all kinds of people at that point, he still has to learn some things. Lesson learned today: Girls have hopes and dreams. Destroy them and you might destroy a life.

He will think of it the next time a pretty young lass makes eyes at him. He will stay with his kind from now on. It really is for the better.