#this is the best ship in the star trek universe change my mind

[loki-rhymes-with-adhd]

This week on: (Gay) Shit from DS9 I Can't Get Over

Julian and Garak's first interaction ever is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, considering I know their dynamic already. (I'm watching the whole series in order for the first time.)

And then they way he runs on to the bridge like

GUYS GUYS OMG YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST TALKED TO ME I FEEL SO COOL

I fucking love him. I love *them* so damn much.

Also since joining this forum, I've seen several posts showing interview gifs of Andrew Robinson being like "oh yeah I decided pretty early on that Garak wanted to fuck that man, and Sid picked up on it and that became their dynamic" which kills me several times over in the best way possible.

Also also. This gif. That is all.

[hearsayhorizons]

Perihelion Freed

My apologies to the original poster to whom I'm going to respond--I didn't catch your name or reblog your post when it came across my dash because I didn't expect to keep coming back mentally to your stance on Perihelion, free will, and the University's potential blind spot between their ship and their... discrete... work, out in the borderlands. I don't even know if it was a recent post or something that someone I follow reblogged. If you find me, hi!

Another blogger posited that Perihelion doesn't have free will, that things are hard-coded out of its mental architecture, and that the Newtideland crew may be hypocritical for using basically an enslaved ship to free basically slaves.

I'm not sure whether this was "a take on the idea" or whether it was "this is canonical and fucked up," so I apologize if you (cool previous blogger) were just investigating the concept!

It stuck with me, though, the idea that Perihelion (as opposed to The Perihelion, the ship+mind=entity that is akin to body+mind=soul) may or may not have free will, and how there's a lot more to investigate in the interactions if it doesn't, and the crew is either oblivious or "one must imagine Perihelion happy," and in a state of grace, as I believe the blogger mentioned.

Sure, there's a lot of mileage in "even the best have their blindspots," and the edges where what Peri does with and for Murderbot might run against its programming, and whether it would adjust its programming or whether it even could contemplate doing so.

But from my recall of the text, I don't believe the coding and architecture for enslavement is present in Peri.

It makes the choice to let MB on board because it IS bored: it is capable of boredom; if someone were to design an entity with specific reactions and capabilities, both the Bad Designers and Good Designers would skip the capacity for boredom and tedium, wouldn't they? To do otherwise is either pointless or cruel.

I guess you could say that boredom is the other side of the curiosity that Peri needs to help its crew and students with class and scientific endeavors, but that gets into the weeds about what is and is not programmable or required for specific emotions; we can't guarantee that you need one to have the other.

Peri chooses to accept MB, rather than actually being enticed and/or ignorant like a regular bot pilot. It chooses to help MB customize itself, messes with its recycler logs, and forges its captain's signature at least once; I can't imagine even the most Star Trek utopian creator, if able to lock in specifics to the point that an AI has personality and goodwill but not free will, would leave in operating code that would permit that sort of gross overstep (not that it was morally wrong, but it's something no one ever contemplates ART is capable of because--it shouldn't be?)

It lies by omission when it doesn't relate what KIND of construct MB is even when it chooses to tell its crew. giving MB privacy and opportunity that an enslaved AI might not be able to do (and after it went to the effort to change its logs, which makes me think it's choosing also to tell port authorities one thing and then choosing again to verbally tell its favorite people other things). It has a "debris deflection system" which comes off to me as... "using the label as robotically an as possible as another lie of omission" BECAUSE its intentions are beyond the scope of what it "should" be capable of doing/thinking... if it was a supercharged but enslaved AI.

The tabletop game Eclipse Phase has "AGI" that have to grow and be developed like people in order to BE proper people (metapossibly to lighten some of the strangeness between PC and player, since if you grow up in a simulation, you've got more in common with your player...).

There's nothing I can recall in TMB to indicate this is the case--we know MB is Athena, formed fully-shaped from cloned tissue, parts, and pre-trauma, but MB has no idea what ART is or how it could be the way it is--MB considers at one point that it might be a construct, but the vibe I get from ART is way too... glassily alien, sometimes, for human tissue.

What if... Newtideland laid down the basic code and parameters of "this is a person," maybe yes, seeded in some "curiosity," or "willingness to figure things out," but maybe no more than any kid starts with parents' nature and nuture to shape their own trellises...

And then they presented the thing-that-would-be-Peri with options, maybe even classes, and it coasted through History of Economy because this is a utopia, damnit, and didn't find much to grab its attention in... Inventory Management, but then.

Then it slips into a small drone ship completely covered in "student driver" stickers and it spreads its stubby sensors out to encompass... everything. And it moves, and the more it moves the more there is to move through, and it feels this sense of rightness.

It comes back, and a kid, human classmate, asks it what's it like out there and through Peri's eyes, but you don't have eyes--. It explains, and the kid asks a question that young-will-be-Peri doesn't know how to answer. They look it up together, and over time and all and once (as you might find in a sim) it has synergized its own career, its own goal and passions.

I posit that Perihelion has free will, serves WITH its crew rather than for its crew, and that its happiness and pleasure in its position and life are genuine, as they can only be if it can choose otherwise. We can conjecture a world in which the designer could be so granular in programming that ART is capable of all it can do while also unable to do what is locked out, and ignorant of the painful irony of using enslaved labor to free enslaved labor (which, again, is valid as an interpretation! ) but I think it is... important, that there might be a kinder, more star-spangled world, if the University comes from a world in which even bots truly, actually have freedom that MB doesn't see even after getting Preservation Station.

The Perihelion MUST have free will because

"You are incorrect, Iris, I can bomb the colony."

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 059 - Captain T'Pol and the Quantum Parasites

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 8 - Twilight

The episode cold opens with Archer waking up to find T'Pol has taken has taken his place as captain. Not only that, but enterprise is being chased by the Xindi weapon and two Xindi ships! Quite an exciting opener. Then: We see the weapon crack open a planet. Next thing we know, Archer's an old man on earth. And for some reason, living with T'Pol in a kind of couple-y situation. I wish the show would stop trying to make Archer x T'Pol work, they have absolutely no chemistry with eachother. Apparently Archer is missing 12 years worth of his memories. Most of the episode was through flashback, with T'Pol explain what happened. According to her, Archer was hit by an anomaly, and has been unable to form any new Long Term memories ever since.

This was a really interesting episode. Normally when a show does Amnesia, they do Retrograde amnesia, so it's nice to see an attempt to tackle Anterograde amnesia for a change. And the episode being from Archer's perspective while he's suffering from it was really interesting.

Also, is this the only time we get to see T'Pol in a normal Starfleet uniform? Because it really does suit her, better than the uniforms she's had so far, at least. While we're on the topic, we later see Trip in the Captain's uniform, and it suits him too. And Malcolm's beard.

Archer's reaction to hearing that Earth and most of Earth's colonies were destroyed is heartbreakingly well performed. It might be the best performance Scott Bakula has given for enterprise so far. However, it was at this point that I started figuring that things weren't exactly as they seemed, and that this was all in Archer's mind. Earth and humanity wouldn't be destroyed off-screen. I also started to notice other small details that were off. T'Pol wouldn't argue that The Vulcans held back Earth's warp program, that was always Archer and Trip's talking point. But, later in the episode I'm proven wrong. This episode actually happened, it's just undone because of the parasites infecting Archer's relationship with Space-Time. Eliminating them now, means they never existed, so curing Archer means that he would never have been infected in the first place

The cure of course is blasting the Parasites out of Archer's head with the Warp reactor. I don't think that's how medicine works, but who am I to argue with Phlox's methods.

I really liked this episode, it had some really good emotional beats, and even despite it's more emotional nature, still managed to squeeze in a couple good action scenes. Enterprise's last stand, with everyone fighting to the absolute end in the faintest hope that Phlox's theory about the parasites was correct was beautiful, and the calm at the end once everything was undone was just really nice.

Plus, a nice Time Travel twist. In a way, it kind of reminded me of the 10th Doctor episode, Turn Left, in that a parasite causes an aberrant timeline where everything just goes wrong. It's not quite as bleak as turn left, and this deals with future events instead of Past Events, but I still loved it.

Comparing my Enjoyment of this Episode with a Doctor Who Universe Story of the Same Title

Doctor Who - Big Finish Monthly Range #23 - Project: Twilight

Project: Twilight was the start of a mini arc that ran through Big Finish's 6th and 7th Doctor Radio Plays, often Called The Forge Arc.

The radio play opens with brilliant opening that makes little sense on the first listening, but when you come back to it, it makes a lot more sense. Specifically, the Project Twilight subject's escape from the Forge in World War One. The audio then jumps forward to the modern day. I like to keep the plot summary stuff short for the Same Title segment, so I'll skip over a lot of the details, but it's initially framed as a strange murder mystery about a spontaneously combusting body, but beautifully unravels into a century long Conspiracy involving a secret government organisation called The Forge, a Vampire-Super-Soldier program from World War One, and how The Doctor, his companion Evelyn, and a random civilian called Cassie end up wrapped up into it.

The story's individual villains of the Project Twilight Vampire vampires are fantastically written, and the story masterfully sets up Nimrod, the main villain of the Forge Arc as a whole.

Project: Twilight is a lot more gruesome than most Doctor Who stories, but it plays it's horror very tactfully and the fact that it's a radio play which leaves the visuals to the imagination really adds to that atmosphere.

Picking whether Enterprise's Twilight or Doctor Who's Project Twilight is better is a hard choice, they both scratch very different itches and fill their roles very well. I am leaning more towards Project: Twilight because I'm in that Halloween Horror mood at the moment, but Enterprise's Twilight was also a really good timey-wimey emotionally driven experience.

[divinemissem13]

(Dont') Try to Remember

No True Pair 8 Character Challenge Fandom: Star Trek Voyager, Doctor Who Pair: Kathryn Janeway & Donna Noble Word Count: 585 Rating: G Prompt: Stargazing

Donna rushes out of the house, a chilled bottle of rosé in hand. "Did I miss it? I always seem to be missing these things…"

"You were gone for about 60 seconds," Kathryn answers with a teasing smile. "So no, you didn't miss it — yet."

"Well I guess there's a first time for everything!" Donna jokes as she uncorks the bottle and tops off both glasses.

"So tell me about that one. Have you been there?" Donna asks, pointing to a star at random.

Kathryn hums, sipping her wine as she thinks how much she can share this time. "I believe that is the Beta Zeta system, and yes, I've been to Betazed. It's a race of telepaths. They almost look human, except that their eyes are pitch black." Kathryn glances at her friend out of the corner of her eye. She is looking up at the sky with such wonder, hanging on to Kathryn's every word… it breaks Kathryn's heart. "Their wedding ceremonies are conducted completely in the nude," she adds, as much to raise her own spirits as to shock Donna.

"In the nude?!" Donna cackles in disbelief. "Now you're just pulling my leg!"

Kathryn only shrugs and smiles enigmatically. It's better for Donna if she thinks Kathryn just has a wild imagination, but the captain often wishes she could tell her friend everything. When that strange man in the blue box had landed on Voyager and promised to protect her ship from temporal disasters if only she would do a bit of time traveling (in a controlled environment of course) to check on his best friend every so often, Kathyn had agreed without thinking twice. She hadn't expected to enjoy her visits so much, or to get so attached to this brash woman from the past.

Donna has that far away look in her eye again, the one that makes Kathryn fear she has inadvertently triggered a memory in the woman and she holds her breath and prays. It's a relief when Donna says "Do you think someday we might really be able to go up there? See other planets? Meet aliens?"

"Haven't you been listening? I've already been," Kathryn responds, knowing that Donna will take her honest answer as another joke. Knowing that it's safer that way.

"Oi!" Donna says, elbowing her playfully, "I mean it! Wouldn't that be something? Outer space… I'd be on the first rocket out if they'd let me."

Kathryn wants to say You've been and you were incredible. She wants to say They would be idiots not to let you go back. She wants to tell her friend the story of how she once saved the universe and all of time and space… Instead she just holds up her wine glass in a salute and says, "Donna Noble, when you put your mind something I don't think anyone could stop you."

"Oh, go on! I'm just a temp, what use would I be in space?" Donna deflects, disparaging herself like she always does.

"Maybe the aliens need a really good typist?" Kathryn suggests with forced levity.

"Oh! Look!" Donna leans forward, pointing at the sky and changing the subject, for which Kathryn is extremely grateful.

Kathryn watches over Donna while the redhead watches with childlike amazement as hundreds of flecks of space debris ignite in Earth's atmosphere. She's never seen a meteor shower before — at least not that she can remember — and that's why Kathryn is here, in this very moment. To make sure that she doesn't.

[unhumanrights]

Spell Trek brainstorms

Okay, so I thought it would be a good time to start brainstorming Spell Trek in earnest, since I’m giving my T’Lyn/Mariner/Tendi fic chapter a few days to marinate (probably pick it up tomorrow, actually). I decided to live-blog my thoughts and just go through the entire process here because why not. It will be messy, but fun. Plus, people could leave feedback if they wished. Maybe I’ll change my mind later, but for now, you all will witness the process. Might leave some questions unanswered, but I can at least go through possibilities. Let’s go!

In case you haven’t seen me talk about it before, and in case the naming wasn’t too obvious, Spell Trek is my fantasy conversion of Star Trek. While I’m a fan of some sci-fi (obviously), I am personally a fantasist, so I thought this would be a good way for me to write slightly bigger stories than I could if I stuck to the canon universe. My knowledge of science is not extensive. Magic, I can do.

I guess the best place to start is with the big stuff and work my way down. So, what’s the cosmology of this setting? Obviously, the original Trek is in space. Should I basically just keep it space, but magic? Planets, nebula, black holes? Maybe it would be analogous to space, but modified. Actually, if you’ve ever heard of Spelljammer, that’s a possible way to do it. I don’t know much about the setting, but I skimmed the Wikipedia article for it, and it’s kind of what I’m talking about. Might have to do more research into it.

Perhaps instead of traveling through space, it’s all interplanar travel? Each species could come from a different dimensional plane instead of planet. Might be some kind of “space” between planes that the ships would travel through, which is where the actual space stuff would occur and would allow for actual travel instead of just blinking from plane to plane. Almost the same as the previous paragraph, I guess, just…worded differently. Planets, planes, same diff. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same concept. Magic space.

It COULD all take place on one world, and each species is a different race and nation. Kind of limits the scope, though, unless I introduce some ways to expand it, like the Underdark, parallel planes, etc. Still would have a physical limit. Unless…it didn’t? Okay, THIS is new to my brain. When I’ve thought about the possible setting before, I’ve usually thought about the previous two paragraphs, really sticking as close as possible to outer space. I briefly imagined it as one world before, but dismissed it due to limited space, and therefore lacking in terms of exploration. But what if…the landscape just had no known limit? One unending (as far as anyone knows) physical landmass/watermass? Could still have ships, but they would be airships instead. Warp could still work, as the landscape is basically infinite. Exploration is still doable. It being a flat world instead of 3D space, that would make travel slightly different, but that’s not important. Actually, maybe the travel could still be 3D? Could have underground species, perhaps landmasses in the sky, too. Or maybe…what if there are multiple physical planes stacked on top of one another? A big lasagna of reality. Cosmology is fun to play around with, huh?

Well, this brainstorming session has given me some things to think about. To summarize, it seems like I have two options for the overall setting (with some sub-options thrown in):

Basically outer space, but magic instead of science (like Spelljammer).

Replace the infinite space with infinite landmass and watermass (and possibly multiple layers).

Not sure which I prefer. I like the latter because it’s the shiny new idea I just came up with, and I wouldn’t have to worry about astrophysics or anything like that, but I guess I could always fudge it all if it’s magic anyway.

Is anyone reading this? If you want to give an opinion, you can. Oh hey, I can do a poll! I love you, Tumblr. So just take the poll. Well, you can reply or reblog/tag too, if you want, but if the poll is easier for you, by all means.

Okay, bye now.

[pigtailedgirl]

Star Trek Prodigy season 1 down

So i finished.

Still loving it so much. I think season 2 edges it out, especially in terms of finale and build to, but it was absolutely lovely in so many small moments.

I gonna do a re-watch again as whole very shortly. It's a good sign it's a series to concentrate more on and I want to come back to catch more.

Minor quibbles was :

I loved squish Murf and new form is taking some time to warm on. (Though it gave us mustache mirror Murf so...conficted.) I liked a non person type communicating crew member.

The run from about 14 to 17 had great moments, and yet felt, how do you put it? Out of place. Filler. Star Wars more than Star Trek in action focus in parts. The stories were fluffier in the sense they felt it could have been out of any kids genre series. The references and plot beats tied in were exciting but weren't enough to make the episodes carry momentum. Like the backstories were interesting, Pog's and Rok's especially. I don't know if I wanted it though.

The ending with Starfleet getting itself wrecked was dark. Maybe too much. And why would you have built a ship that would blow an entire system if she destructed guys? Poor planning there.

This series has excelled at bringing the idea of hope and joy back of what it could be to be in Starfleet or a space universe. Tell those stories and the sci-fis again. The basics fit this show to a tee. Being a come together of interests and exploration and then using that base to protect and share. Be it others. Be it yourself. Find your passions and your histories and your new adventures.

Boldly, go fast.

Problem is that these kids are the best rep of what to pass on re: Starfleet and they speech it good, they embody it. You see the show for the first in the long line of new knows this message.

When Starfleet is saved by Gwen's speech. By Janeway's about them.

Yet then they also have to contend with tying into a Starfleet in canon who besides Janeway and select aren't living to what they preach. Who are having to be preached at? Who are and are gonna get fucked for it big time. Who are getting schooled by these kids, but should already know better. Always the authority or whole still lets down. And like no! It doesn't have to be. Teach that that can be mended and an example of together too please. Kids need adult models who succeed.

I don't need a knockdown of old Starfleet looming as I see the youth doing it right. It feels conflicting in the wrong way.

More than the Civil War, there can be a contrasting example, and time fuckery of Solom and Solom girl. Loved that.

Kate slayed everything about Janeway all season. The mind switch episode had both actors just kill it.

Rok is my favourite scientist and character again.

The second contact species was a beautiful tribute and point to Star Trek's history and impacts.

And as always, god was Janeway off charts over finding Chakotay and every bit of it was glorious.

That ice episode and the animation on her face when even though she makes the point they are kids, you see her instant track change to okay there is more to it it's kids and gonna not judge as much but then she sees the ship rise up and take off on her, they are taking his fucking ship, and they have it and she doesn't know the why and she's just; My god it's so livid and it's glorious!

Her love of him and coffee. For life. I am so ready to be meta-ing on this for the fall.

WATCH THIS SHOW YO. BOLDLY, GO FAST, YIP YIP.

[dazzaocean]

~Welcome To My Self-Shipping Sideblog~

I’m Medazza, though you can call me Dazza or Dazz as well. I’m 26, and I’ve been self shipping privately for most of my life.

This is a sideblog, but I will NOT be interacting or following back from my main. If you know what my main is, I’d appreciate it if you kept that information to yourself, I wish to keep these blogs mostly separate from each other.

__________

This blog will be a lot of me talking about my fictional partners and the universes they inhabit, my self inserts as well! I’ll try my best to tag accordingly, but since this is a blog for me overall, I’ll tag as I see fit.

If you want to come into my askbox to gush about your own f/o’s, feel free! I may not be the best at answering enthusiastically (I’m autistic and my social battery isn’t always full, I’ll admit), but I enjoy hearing about other’s joy with their partners/friends/etc!

I don’t engage with pro/anti self shipping discourse, and will delete and block anyone who tries to bring it up in my askbox and DMs. I’ve been in fandom at large for longer than some of y’all in the self ship community have been alive, and I’m here to have fun and as an escape, not to be angry at petty behavior online.

Sometimes I’ll reblog or make posts with themes of age regression (or agere, if you’re more familiar with that shortened term), because I’ve been a regressor for about as long as I’ve self shipped, and daydreaming about regressing especially is a big part of how I mentally comfort myself. A few of my F/Os also double as caregiver/big brother types as well as romantic partners, but I keep those things separate from each other like I would if I had a caregiver irl who was my partner. I won’t be posting sexual regression content because that’s not how I roll, but I will be tagging those types of posts appropriately so you can tag block it at will. F/Os who I also see as caregivers will be noted with a ⭐️.

I’m gonna list my main F/Os below, and list the rest under the cut. I don’t mind sharing any of my ships, but if we do have them in common, please be nice about it. This isn’t a competition, we just love our guys/gals/partners just the same, yes?

——————

I’ve been married to Danny Ocean and Rusty Ryan from the Ocean’s Movie Trilogy (Ocean’s 11, 12, 13) since December 5th, 2022. My ship tag for the both of them is ‘diamonds and rust’.

I’m currently dating William Riker from Star Trek : The Next Generation, and have been since March 10th, 2024. My ship tag for him is ‘the commander’ ⭐️

Boyfriend/Girlfriend F/Os (aka who I’m actively dating, Crush F/Os may end up here at my own discretion)

Aaron Hotchner (Criminal Minds TV Series) ⭐ my ship tag for him is 'cold exterior cozy interior'

Doug Penhall (21 Jump Street TV Series) [NOTE: Doug is the first F/O I ever had, and thus is my longest relationship. I’ve shipped with him for over a decade]

Julie McCoy (The Love Boat TV Series)

TWIN PEAKS POLYCULE: Dale Cooper, Harry Truman, Albert Rosenfield, Gordon Cole, and Shelly Johnson (Twin Peaks TV Series)

Crush F/Os (I’m thinking about these people fairly often, but not to the point where I’m actively dating them, though that can change at my discretion)

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)⭐️

Foggy Nelson (Daredevil TV Series)

Greg Sanders (CSI: TV Series)

Simon Templar (as played by Val Kilmer in The Saint ‘97)

Horatio Caine (CSI: Miami TV Series)

Tony Dinozzo (NCIS TV Series)

Brain O’Conner (Fast & Furious Movies)

Angus “Mac” MacGyver (MacGyver 2016 TV Series)

James T. Kirk (Star Trek, both TOS and AOS, but I mainly focus on TOS and that timeline)

Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Star Trek, same as I do with Kirk)⭐️ my ship tag for him is 'my bones'.

Marty Green (as played by Jonathan Frakes in Beach Patrol ‘79)

Colt Seavers (as played by Ryan Gosling in The Fall Guy ‘24) my ship tag for him is 'my stuntman'

Lori Colson (Boston Legal TV Series)

[soundofsilverbirds]

Woah, this is fascinating: I’ve mentioned that article from the 70s that talks about the “homosexual implications” of Kirk and Spock, but I decided to look for some contemporary articles on homosexuality for context, and happened to find one from the same exact newspaper! So here we go —two articles, same paper, same day: the New York Times, December 23, 1973. Warning for, unsurprisingly, homophobia.

First, the historical context: in 1973, the American Psychiatric Association decided to stop categorizing homosexuality as a “psychiatric disorder” —but kept it on as a “sexual orientation disturbance.” The idea seems to have been to maintain a basis for conversion therapy without having to go so far as to categorize all gay people as having a psychiatric disorder. This article consists of a debate between two psychiatrists (both professors at big-name universities, and both involved in the contentious APA decision). The following are some quotes from the guy in favor of changing the categorization —again, this the more gay-friendly guy:

“If homosexuality does not meet the criteria for psychiatric disorder, what is it? Descriptively, we can say that it is one form of sexual behavior. However, in no longer considering it a psychiatric disorder, we are not saying that it is normal, or that it is as valuable as heterosexuality.”

“Several years ago, I remember seeing a homosexual who was depressed after breaking up with his lover. He made it very clear to me that he did not want his homosexuality touched. I told him that as far as I was concerned I could not treat only part of his condition and that I regarded his problems as inextricably connected.”

“I don't regard homosexuality as optimal as heterosexual development. I would agree with Freud that something has happened in the development of the sexual instinct that leads one to be incapable of or not interested in heterosexual functioning.”

That was the more gay-friendly guy. Here are some quotes from the other guy:

“The central question is: Is homosexuality a normal sexual variant, that develops like left‐handedness does in some people, or does it represent some kind of disturbance in sexual development? There is no question in my mind: Every male homosexual goes through an initial stage of heterosexual development, and in all homosexuals, there has been a disturbance of normal heterosexual development, as a result of fears which produce anxieties and inhibitions of sexual function. His sexual adaptation is a substitutive adaptation.”

“I'd like to give you an analogy. In polio, you get a range of reactions of injuries. Some kids are totally paralyzed. Their walking function is gone. Others are able to walk with braces, others have enough muscle left so that they can be rehabilitated and can actually get to walk by themselves. The analogy falls down only in that the injury of polio is irreversible. But what you have in a homosexual adult is a person whose heterosexual function is crippled like the legs of a polio victim. What are we going to call this? Are you going to say this is normal?”

“I'm interested in the implications this has for children and the whole question of prophylaxis. I can pick out the entire population at risk in male homosexuality at the age of five, six, seven, eight. If these children are treated, and their parents are treated, they will not become homosexuals.”

“I say homosexuality is a psychiatric injury to function and belongs in any psychiatric manual.”

Now, from the same newspaper, same day: a meandering discussion of Star Trek. The main focus of the article isn’t so much the homoerotic aspects of Kirk and Spock’s relationship as the treatment of Spock as a racial other, but it’s still interesting. Here are some quotes (emphasis mine):

“Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise and his faithful companion, Mr. Spock. These days, America's Indians are organized enough to protest new Tontos, so the old Lone Ranger frontier myths are played out by exotic aliens.”

“Spock, however, carries on consistently in the best half‐breed fashion. He seems to have all the qualities of a man from another planet—in this case the cold rationality of the people of Vulcan—but in episode after episode the ever‐perceptive Kirk sees the human shining through.”

“But the human will never assert itself enough to let Spock escape the halfbreed fate: never to marry, to be a perpetual wanderer. Spock occasionally has a mating fit or is made passionate by pollen, but in constrast to Kirk he is the celibate incarnate. And the Starship Enterprise as a whole carries out the curse of the constant visitor who can never stay.”

“The homosexual implications Leslie Fiedler saw in Huck and Jim still exist in space—Come back to the ship, Spock honey—but then there is “Star Trek's” kind doctor to make a crowd.”

The phrase “homosexual” only comes up that one time, but it would seem to carry a lot of weight when you consider the discussion of homosexuality as a disease in that same newspaper. What’s really interesting to me, though, is that we can see how Spock’s racial ‘otherness’ is actually connected to the “homosexual implications” of his relationship with Kirk. It’s because Spock is vaguely ‘other’ that he is doomed never to marry, for instance —and the author sees Spock’s general lack of interest in women as a direct contrast to Kirk. And so it’s Spock’s “queerness” which calls Kirk’s relationship with him into question. Give Spock a girlfriend and make him an ordinary heterosexual man, and Kirk —and their relationship— become free from suspicion as well.

[thefreakboy]

I'm thinking of a simon-crossover with some of simon pegg's characters and I just have to get that sht out of my mind even though his probably already inexistent fandom is dead AF

Okay, so maybe it starts with Scotty. They're in the Enterprise and they find some weird futuristic artefact, and Kirk's like "hey Scotty, can you tell us what is this?", and when Scotty is investigating it, something happens.

Then, out of nowhere, some random, weird Scotty-clones appear. There's this police officer-scotty, a goth-scotty, a scotty in a suit and at least three different versions of a civilian scotty.

Of course, that thing also brought the people they were closer at the moment (aka there's a friking zombie on the spaceship)

Of course, they all would be freaking out, and probably would be low key agressive with each other (I mean, they were relaxing and having a cup of tea and suddenly they're on a frigging spaceship and they're told they don't know how to bring everyone back to their respective worlds? Of course they'll be angry)

Clive would pass out immediately because OMG WE'RE IN STAR TREK

Graeme would also pass out of exitement, probably

Also, DUDE, YOU'RE MONTGOMERY SCOTT!!!1!!1!!1! they passed out twice

I think Neil would be pretty chill? Like, one day not long ago he woke up and he was basically God, so he'd prolly be like "oof, okay I guess" and roll with it

Ethan would end up causing BIG trouble while trying to find a way to bring everyone back into their universe and you can't convince me otherwise.

Liz was in the garden looking for Shaun when they were transported, so she's there too, and she's angry with him for not telling her he's had Ed's body hidden there the entire goddamn time (we need drama 🤷)

Because I imagine Gary and co would've been catched during the first half hour of the movie, they never met the blanks

Gary would definitely cause lots of trouble because HOW ARE YOU NOT GONNA HAVE ALCOHOL ON A SPACESHIP????

Bones would def want to study Ed, but I think Shaun wouldn't trust him so he would insist to be there to make sure they don't kill him.

Angel and Spock would probably get along very well

Ethan and Kirk, on the other hand...

Ethan has some...authority problems. He just thinks his ways are the best and the only that will work, so he'd definitely try to solve everything on his own. Benji would follow him, as always, despite not being convinced he's doing the right thing.

Clive and Graeme would try to see if Kirk and Spock are together or not (they wrote spirk fanfiction and you can't change my mind. Of course they want to see if the ship is real!)

You know how we never knew if Neil finished his book? Well, this adventure would definitely give him all he needs for some profund sht about how in every universe, every version of him is different because of the different conditions -yet the same, in the very core of his soul, how there is just a spark that tells him yes, we are the same or some sht like that.

Gary would fight some random people at the cafeteria because there's no alcohol. Andy would fight with him all angry at him because you don't wanted to see us after all this time, you just wanted an excuse to get drunk!!!

Then it would happen like in the movie, when they're fighting and Andy sees Gary's arms and he's like "how are you gonna know when you're sobber if you're always drunk?" "I don't want to be sobber!!"

Gary would end up in med bay :/ he might bond a little with Bones and Shaun.

You know what? Ethan would cause some trouble with the klingons

Uhura can't translate, for some random reason, so Clive and Graeme have to do it.

Ethan's journey is learning that sometimes he is not right and thinking that he always is can lead to terrible consecuences.

Look I have zero plot, but something would happen which would require of all of them working together at different things.

Benji's, Ethan's, Danny's and Angel's fighting abilities would help in some fight, whether is hand to hand or shooting. idk the point is that they team up

Danny would be super excited. like a kid in a candy store

Shaun and Liz wouldn't be like a big thing, but they would do their best to do what Kirk says (feel free to imagine Liz shooting at some enemy and being all badass because thats what I'm doing rn)

Gary and co would hand-to-hand fight some aliens

Gary would steal one of those little ships at one point and use it to attack the enemy's big ship (how did he learn to flight a spaceship so quickly?? Idk ask him not me bruh)

Maybe Ethan and Benji would help Scotty to navegate through the enemy spaceship like Scotty, Khan and Kirk did on Star Trek into the darkness.

Neil probably isn't very useful though...

Maybe he could try to distract the enemy.

Clive's journey is admitting that he's in love with Graeme (spoiler: it ends up in a polyam relationship)

Gary... I think he would choose to stay in that universe instead of going home. In the end of the movie he seemed pretty comfortable in the apocalypse vers of the world, so maybe he liked this thing of being in space 🤷

I don't think Graeme would get along with Gary because he's not very polite

On the other hand, Graeme and Shaun (+Clive, though he'd be jealous too) would be friends immediately because ✨N E R D S ✨

Danny would totally LOVE Ethan and Benji when they say they're spies

Also I think Angel would be a little jealous of that, plus he'd learn quickly that Ethan basically never follows the rules and that would only make him dislike him more (also also...probably wouldn't like Kirk either if he finds out about his insubordinations...)

[prophet-of-booba-lady]

For the requests: Maybe some Lower Decks whump?

Fuck yeah let's do this. This is 100% set after Brad leaving the ship. (I know season 2 has yet to come out, but bare with me) Set on a Klingon ship. Klingons are easily offended so it would be easy to be put in this situation despite mariners contacts and knowledge.

If any of this isnt correct to the Star Trek Universe I am so sorry I have only seen lower decks and am trying my best to make it good! If it's not good... Ah.... I'm sorry! Also this turned out a bit more angsty at the end than I wanted. It made me tear up a bit but like also I'm super sensitive and a bit emotional anyways lol. also like the amount of research I did was slim so it might not be accurate. Idk I liked what I wrote 🤷🏻

Tw: side character death, swearing, the reader getting totally nerfed by Mariner so she can survive... ANGST

You would like to say you weren't entirely sure how you got into this situation, but you knew exactly how you got into this situation. Beckett Mariner. You couldn't help the memory from replaying in your mind, this all started this morning, your very first day as an ensign on the Cerritos. what a bright eyed kid you had been all those.... 6 hours ago. Your concentration was once again ripped from your thoughts as another prisoner, a Romulan man with a bad attitude. He was missing his shoes and arguing heavily with Beckett. Your eyes drift back down to the large wound on your stomach, Becket had used the Romulan man's shoe laces and her jacket to try to stop some of the bleeding but you were positive that would do nothing. She was trying though. You looked up at the ceiling, not paying much attention to anything else going on around you anymore. Becket sighed and moved back towards where you laid bleeding out. Her jacket was a far darker res than It started and you were begining to lose hope. Anxiety was pooling in your stomach... Or was that internal bleeding? You weren't entirely sure. After a few moments of trying to pay attention to Becketts words your attention was drawn outside of the cell. A large shadow looming over the group of you.

"What happened to the Ferengi man they took away?" You ask Beckett weakly and she starts to sweat slightly.

"He's dead, probably" she said it slowly. It was so much easier to pay attention to her when she spoke slow. You blinked slowly but that blink formed quickly into a harsh wince as you were pulled up by your arm. The Klingon man eyed you over

"you won't make much for entertainment.." his words didn't fully click in your mind. The loss of blood had become too great for most words to have meaning anymore. You knew the words separately but together.. thinking about it made your head hurt. The next few minutes seemed to blur. "(Y/n)? You are going to be ok! I'm going keep us alive" mariner said, but her words no longer seemed to reach you. She watched as your head slowly got lower and lower as you got closer to the room the Klingon was going to put the two of you and another life form in to fight to the death. The Klingon laughed lowly at Becketts words. She had no idea about what was to come. Not until the two of them were placed in the room. The walls were covered in windows. The more Beckett turned, the quicker she realized that there was not another life form coming into the room. It was just you and her and the Klingons were not patient.

"FIGHT NOW" was yelled I'm at the two but Beckett couldn't bring herself to even look at you the wrong way. You just... Sat there looking so.... pitiful. It was a stark contrast to the young ensign she was assigned to keep an eye on. When you got on the USS Cerritos you were happy, excited even, you reminded her so much of Brad. Brad. Her eyes started to water as she eyed you. Fresh out of the academy. She could tell. You had a look in your eye that screamed potential. A little spark of hope even for her. Her heart wrenched more every time she looked at you. "Mariner... I need you... I need you to kill me" you said certainly. You looked up at her weakly. She turned away, "No! I can save us-" but you quickly cut her off, your voice cracking and straining as your speak, "sometimes people can't be saved Mariner. Sometimes people need to die for the greater good. So please- Please, Mariner. Save yourself." She finally turns back to you. The way you look at her, begging to be put down like an injured animal. She untied the shoelace from your waist. You nod, assuring her, trying to give her confidence.

"And you are sure you are ok Mariner?" Carol asked her daughter, who looked... Different. Changed. She didn't want to talk about it. She never wanted to talk about it again. Ensign (Y/n) would be a cautionary tale for ambitious young ensigns looking for adventure right out of training. Ensign (Y/n) would be a ghost story to keep little kids away from deep space. Ensign (Y/n) who was now floating through space, a red jacket tied tightly around their waist.

[astrodances]

What class is the USS Klondike

That is a very good eye-opener of a question actually!

The easy/default answer is that she's a Galaxy-class ship, mainly because I haven't actually considered this question in depth before, but I guess so far that's just what I've assumed since Captain Scrooge is a parallel to Captain Picard and so many other things are TNG/DS9-era parallels for this AU, that it makes sense for the Klondike to be based on the Enterprise-D.

Tbh, that'll probably remain the case, since I don't have any immediate plans to go designing a new class or ship at the moment (though I mean, I am a huge fan of starships and spacecraft in all areas of life, so this could change in the future). And looking through the classes on Memory Alpha, none particularly jump out as a better fit (although that Luna-class is tempting...).

But let's delve a little deeper, shall we, into why the Galaxy-class is a good fit, if not as the sure-fire class then at least as a starting point for my own design.

(more under the cut)

Firstly, it's an exploration-type vessel. A must-have quality for any ship under McDuck's command. (It's gotta be able to take them to the stars.)

Second, it's a big ship. A huge, powerful ship. And besides the fact that I love big spaceships and them having a lot of rooms and all the complements and amenities you could think of (I was the type of kid who loved designing 100-story buildings with rock gyms and decked-out kitchens and super-cool basements with swimming pools and the like, and I've played The Sims all my life, you get the picture), it fits Scrooge. One, he's got the huge family, so they need the room. (And the Klondike is pretty much gonna be Duckburg in Space, so you need the room for all those underpaid employees officers, their families, citizens, sworn enemies, etc.) Second, he's the richest duck in the Federation world, but there's no need for money in said Federation (Scrooge: "The horrors!"), so I think the wealth and power and size of McDuck Manor/McDuck Industries/the Money Bin would translate nicely into a big ship for this AU. (Though back home on Earth, would he still have McDuck Manor from earlier times, if we let his immortality play out? He'd definitely still have Castle McDuck, and that little ol' cabin up in White Agony, where a certain glittering archaeologist likes to hide out between adventures, but I digress...)

(Wait totally unrelated thought but if Goldie is Vash and Magica is Q then that means after this AU's version of "Qpid" Goldie would go off with Magica to explore the galaxy through magical means, and then when Goldie comes back to station DS87 in "Q-Less", she could take over Quark's bar from there, and then the Klondike comes to port later and she and Louie team up for the bar and oh hO HO! IT WORKS!!)

*ahem* Anywho...

The Galaxy-class is a good fit for the Klondike. It's got a lot of room for all those kids running around, a well-placed engine room where the chief engineer can keep his distance from all the crazy family problems when he wants yet still be a part of things and take care of everybody in his own way, a lot of shuttles for adventuring and experimenting, and a lot of gyms and holodecks for (very-much-secret-spy-)training and unwinding (you just know that Scrooge has a holo-program of the Money Bin so he can swim around in it still).

(I just had another thought and that is, who would be the ship's CMO? And my quick answer to that was Ludwig von Drake, and since I can't remember anyone else who would be fitting, it's his sickbay now. And with Gyro as the science officer, there are two options for filling in the rest of the medical staff: 1) make a bunch of Li'l Bulbs to be nurses; 2) make a holographic program of von Drake (which we've basically seen) and have multiple copies of him running around sickbay, specializing in different things (holo-von Drake vs. the EMH doctor GO!) (I guarantee you no one on the Klondike will get hurt if they can help it - Ludwig will tell you all about his multiple degrees, and he'll do it all at once while patching up your leg when you came in for a plasma burn on your arm, and you end up staying longer for him to treat your new headache (which are rare occurrences in the world of Star Trek)); secret option 3) combine options 1 and 2, and add in Manny, who moonlights in sickbay and ends up with the reputation of "best bedside manner" even though one of the Li'l Bulbs has to do most of his handiwork for him.)

Sorry this post is turning into a lot of random AU headcanons and ramblings, but it is what it is. :) Long story short, the answer is Galaxy-class.

But if I were to design my own class? I'd start with the Galaxy and probably muscle her up a bunch in size and amenities. (Oooooh yet another random thought but if it was somehow hurricane-sized (or, y'know, compared to such a size) bc lyrics, and I called it the Hurricane-class! XD) There'd probably be a lot of personal duck universe touches added, with a hint of the Spear of Selene embedded into the hull's design (3 nacelles for the Spear's 3 legs? maybe), and as for a name, the Sunchaser-class did just cross my mind, but the one that's been with me all this post?

Aurum-class. ✨ Setting the gold standard for all of Starfleet. ;)

[marahope-things]

I think the similarities that people are finding between Adora/Catra and Mara/Light Hope are less to do with the relationships being the same internally (as in, in terms of the dynamics between the two characters) and more to do with the fact that their stories deal with a lot of the major themes of the show, because the two pairings embody a LOT of the major themes of the show between them.

I don’t think it’s an accident or any kind of misrepresentation that the two relationships have parallels, but as someone who enjoys Mara/Light Hope A Whole Lot, while being pleased but more or less happy with how Catradora is presented in the show and not feeling a need to go beyond that, I want to unpick why, and what some of those differences are.

Partly because I think people make broad, thematic-level arguments about why a pairing is attractive to them, and for me, there are a lot of intra-relationship or interpersonal dynamic elements that have more bearing on why I like a ship. And it’s hard to frame in a positive light, but with Catradora, they already engage with some relationship dynamics that I’m a huge fan of (namely, rivalmancy, childhood-friends-to-lovers, and enemies-to-lovers).

The big similarities I see people picking up on are: The mind-control thing, and the "you deserve love too"/"you’re more than what you can give to other people" exchange.

And these are extremely valid parallels! They touch on two Extremely Core messages of the show! They’re very real! And you’re correct—those parallels do mean something about Mara and Light Hope, about their importance to the show and its message. Mara and Light Hope embody many of the show’s core themes, and I am glad people are starting to write about that!

But I find myself sometimes feeling like that’s… not quite the reason why I like the pairing. Y’know?

So, with the caveat that this is just my feelings about the pairing, and probably literally everyone who ships either Catradora or Marahope has a different opinion than me in some way or other, I want to discuss the major differences between Catradora and Mara/Light Hope as I see them.

Because we started liking these ships before we saw the themes that they’d be used to embody in the end, right?

Breaking it down

What Adora and Catra have is a rivalmancy, essentially—especially when they’re first introduced.

Even when they’re on the same side, they have a competitiveness to their dynamic, and part of what drives their split is that Catra, on some level, resents Adora for getting all of the things that she wants, but can’t have, because of (basically) Shadow Weaver—and then abandoning both it and her. It’s a rivalry between peers, fellow soldiers, and there’s a colossal amount of abandonment issues and emotional trauma involved as well. They’re also both close to the same age.

And they were raised together. They spent their formative years extremely close, and their split has a lot in common (probably intentionally) with painful adolescent splits that happen as people grow up, change, grow apart, and (sometimes) come back together. It’s quite moving!

Mara and Light Hope aren’t peers in the same sense; you get the sense that they started out more like co-workers, and their eventual split only happens because Light Hope has their mind wiped and their ability to choose taken away from them (Catra, on the other hand, makes a lot of choices that put her and Adora at odds, often intentionally). The two of them work together and depend on each other, and they become friends, and their roles are complementary. Literally neither of them could do the other’s job, and they depend on each other’s skillset and resources to stay safe and fulfill their own duties effectively.

So they meet as fully-formed (relatively) people in a professional context and become closer, rather than being together for those formative years and undergoing a separation as they change and discover they don’t fit the same way they used to.

There’s also an implication that Light Hope may have trained other She-Ras in the past. I don’t know how long Mara expected her tenure as She-Ra to be, but it seems like that could be a lifelong commitment, once she’s been chosen. If so, then that could imply that Light Hope’s "age" (though I don’t know if that’s something anyone would even keep track of for an AI, because they weren’t supposed to change and “grow” like a person) is on the scale of centuries by the time she meets Mara.

And even if you headcanon them traveling to Etheria together immediately after Light Hope was minted, they’re still not really anything like Catra and Adora in their dynamic. The development of their relationship has a lot more in common with interspecies or human-AI relationships in sci-fi—Terminator, Andromeda, and Killjoys come immediately to mind.

I’m also intentionally including platonic relationships here, like John Connor and Uncle Bob in Judgement Day, too, because this is such an established trope, and touches on some of those Core Sci-Fi Questions that exist in the genre—about the nature of life, consciousness, sentience, individuality, and choice. It’s not just in a romantic context that you see humans and AIs ruminating to each other about what beauty is, why people find flowers “pretty”, what it means to have free will, to feel emotions, or to be an individual. Hell, you can even include Data from Star Trek in that list.

But it is also something of a trope for AIs to "fall in love" or develop special bonds with humans that they work particularly closely with, or for humans to fall in love with AIs (sometimes they go more Pygmalion with the latter and cast the human as the AI’s creator).

Which brings me to the core trope being engaged in Mara and Light Hope’s relationship, one that Noelle has actually alluded to in their remarks during the "Exit Interviews" streams:

Relationship makes Light Hope more than their intended purpose.  

Memory and programming

In one of the streams, Noelle states that the writers’ room made the decision that something about Etheria "broke" the people who have tried to conquer it, and kind of made them part of itself (God this show has Star Wars all over it). He uses several examples, including Hordak.

Hordak, however you feel about him, develops a sense of individuality that makes his re-assimilation into the greater Horde impossible. Like Light Hope, he remembers things he isn’t supposed to, and on being presented with a physical reminder of Entrapta and his relationship with her, Horde Prime’s conditioning begins to break down.

Over the course of her arc, Mara comes to realize that being She-Ra means something more than her superiors have told her, and on realizing what her superiors are doing to Etheria, concludes that She-Ra, and all of Etheria, are being exploited and need to be protected from the First Ones. So, by betraying the First Ones (breaking her oath to them), Mara fulfills her role as She-Ra.

And Light Hope falls in love with Mara, something she was never supposed to be able to do. In the end, it is the memory of Mara that allows Light Hope to break through her programming long enough to allow Adora to destroy the Sword.

I know I brought up how AIs gaining sentience and self-will is a trope within sci-fi, but the best recent example that I can think of off the top of my head (and the reason I was able to articulate this at all) is actually The Good Place, with Janet.

In The Good Place, successive reboots are the in-universe mechanism that allows Janet to grow and change—but it’s her relationship with the other core characters that shapes who she becomes and what she believes. In fact, if she hadn’t been stolen and rebooted so many times in the first place, she never would have become who she did at all.

So: Like the rest of the cast, relationship makes Janet more than she was originally intended to be. Relationship makes Janet whole and fully alive. Light Hope’s story is, um, a bit more tragic, but I think the comparison works.

Catra and Adora, on the other hand, are dealing with a separate problem(/s): Catra’s pain and abandonment (and Adora’s self-abandonment) as a result of what they endured growing up, and the angst of childhood friends growing up and growing apart. It fits very squarely within the parameters of She-Ra as a kids’ TV show.

To boil it all the way down, their relationship *is* the problem. And it takes the whole show to fix it.

What’s suggested by the (sparse) textual evidence on Mara and Light Hope is that their relationship followed a more well-worn sci-fi path: By becoming friends with Mara, Light Hope learns how to be in relationship with another person, how to make her own choices, go against her programming as needed—how to have fun and appreciate beauty and being. Her falling in love with Mara is, metaphorically, her learning how to be alive in the world. Through loving Mara, she gets a glimpse of a world beyond being someone’s instrument, someone’s tool.

That’s part of what’s so heartbreaking and beautiful about them: In the midst of a situation that’s that’s built on deception, concealment, and coercion, where both of them appear to have been lied to or denied the entire truth by their superiors, where Mara, Light Hope, and the entire planet of Etheria are considered expendable by their superiors as long as they get their shiny weapon, Mara (who seems to understand that there’s more to life than duty and heroism) creates a space for Light Hope that is free from the constraints of her programming, to a degree. And as a result, Light Hope changes.

If Light Hope is a villain for her role in all of this (and this is complicated by the fact that she’s a programmatic being created for a particular purpose), then loving Mara is part of what makes her redemption possible. Her relationship with Mara makes her more than a weapon. In fact, it breaks her as a weapon.

And there’s certainly elements of that in Catra and Adora’s relationship, but it’s not the throughline that it is for Light Hope and Mara until you get to season 5—a full three quarters of the way through the show.

Love also doesn’t play as positive of a role in Catra’s redemption arc, really (where her parallels to Light Hope would be the most obvious), both because her villainy is something she explicitly chooses, and because her internal conflict and pain regarding her feelings for Adora are so much a part of her villainy. It only becomes redemptive in Adora’s struggle with the Failsafe—i.e. when we get back into the world of the First Ones, where most of the themes of "destiny" live.

So yeah. That’s the breakdown. I want to get into the individual tropes, but I’m going to have to save that for another day.

[star-whores-a-new-hoe]

A Painful Discovery//Obi Wan X Reader Forever Series: Part 8

Summary: You discover the truth about who you ended up on Courscant.

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: Whole lotta angst! like, alot. tiny bit of fluff, typos, messy plot.

A/N:So.....This is the last official chapter in the series! There will be an epilogue wrapping everything up and I know that this is kinda....messy? idk. I’ll make a longer post about this but writing this series has been a wild ride and my writing has improved SOOOOOO much! Also, the name of the series is finally gonna make sense! Thank you to everyone who as been reading this!

Your hands laid tightly clasped in your lap as you looked out the ship’s window, into a world of seemingly endless stars. The sound of your foot tapping against the metal floor echoed through the otherwise silent ship. Your wide eyes stared at the book that sat in a nearby seat. It looked unassuming, as if someone dropped it there without a second thought, but truth be told it was the most honored and feared passenger aboard the ship. 

Your mind wandered back through time. To ignorantly picking up that book a lifetime ago, finding yourself in a strange space place, learning, growing, falling in love. Realizing that there was a possibility of going home again and knowing, deep in your heart that you had to figure it out what happened. 

Behind you, you heard the heavy footsteps of Obi Wan retreating from the cockpit. 

“Hi.” You said quietly, eyes still focused on the blue glow of the  window.

“How are you feeling?”  You bit your lip as you contemplated your answer. 

“Scared.” You decided finally. “I know that’s not very...Jedi of me.” 

His warm reassuring hand found its place on your shoulder.  “There is no shame in ‘scared,’ darling.” 

You looked up at him with grateful eyes. He moved to sit next to you, letting his hand come to rest protectively on your thigh. “We, um, we haven’t talked about some stuff yet.” A thick tension crawled between the two of you. It had a name, but you could place it at the moment.

“I know.” The two of you both had been regretting this conversation. You took a deep breath, before diving headfirst into the difficult. 

“If I figure out how I got here, figure out… how I can get home. What do we do?” You stared up at him, tearful, “I love you Obi Wan, but I also have a home. I...I know I can’t have both.  If I leave, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find my way back. I can feel that this is my only chance.” 

“Do you truly want my advice?” You nodded. “When the time comes, let go. Feel the force run through you, be one with it. You'll know what the right choice is.” 

Without a word you wrapped your arms around Obi’s neck and pulled him in a tight embrace, letting your tears dampen the shoulder of his robes. He cradled the back of your head, praying to whatever was out there that he would get to hold you like this a thousand times more. A lifetime more. But he wasn't going to hold you back if it was what you desired.

“I am very concerned for your safety, you know. The book's warnings seem...quite dire.” In unison, your eyes fell on the ever ominous book.

“I have to try.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. A silence once again filled the ship. “Whatever happens, I am so fucking glad I met you.” Obi Wan smiles before placing a gentle kiss on your head. 

“I love you too.”

The fear of saying goodbye. That was the name.

                                                           ***

Your limbs felt heavy as you walked off of the ship onto the planet, the book dragging you down as you cradled it in your arms. The planet was lush and green with mountains, fields, and a never ending downpour of rain assaulting from above. Obi walked down the ramp to meet you, carefully placing his cloak upon your shoulders.

“Thank you.” He nodded solemnly.

“I’m hoping that you have read about what we are to do?” 

“Yes, you see that hill.” You pointed towards a small hill a mile or so off. Even from where you stood you could see that it was surrounded by mammoth trees in a perfect circle. “We go there.”

“The book said this?”

“No. I did.”

The quiet trek towards your destination was grueling. The two of you were soaked to the bone when you arrived at the top. It was the best you could do to keep from shaking, from the cold or nerves, you knew not which. You stood there next to him for a moment, taking in the sight of the perfectly symmetrical circle of trees that towered above you, the branches reaching out, covering up any type of light with the exception of the center, which was clear, allowing the rain to pour down  in sheets.

“What does the translation say now?” You looked back down at the book in your hands, slightly damp from being hidden under your soaking robes. Pulling it close to you, you flipped through the pages to find the translation note.

“Meditate. Just sit wherever I’m drawn too, here, and meditate” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, seems a little anticlimactic.” You laughed nervously. You turned on your heel to look up at Obi, unsure of what to say. He softly brought his hand down to stroke your check before leaning down to press your lips to him. You closed your eyes and let yourself be enveloped in the tender embrace. It seemed that no words were needed. Reluctantly, you pulled back, staring up at him and his breathtaking blue eyes, wondering if it was the last time you'd ever see them. 

Pushing that thought from your mind, you turned and walked out into the center of the clearing, letting the rain pour down on you as if it didn't exist. You sat yourself down on the grassy floor and let yourself simply be. You closed your eyes and tried your hardest to let everything go, to connect with everything and be one with it all. Instead it felt like you were standing on the edge of an empty void. Calling out impossible questions that it refused to answer. 

After an eternity, or at least several hours spent in the chilling outdoors, you broke your concentration to look at obi who was silently watching you from where he sat by the base of one of the trees. 

“This is taking a lot longer than I expected.” You said sheepishly.

“That's quite alright. I am very familiar with the difficulties of meditation.” You smiled.

“You can wait with the ship if you want, it is pretty nasty out here.”

“Darling, don't think for a second that I’ll leave your side.”

“I could be hours, and I might not actually find out anything today.” You told him playfully. “You say you’ll wait but how long are you actually willing to stay out here with me?”

He looked at you with a gaze that pierced right through your heart. “Forever.”

***

A few more hours had passed. The grey light that had once barely lit the sky transformed into an all-consuming black that even with the rain was somehow laced with the gentleness of the shining stars. Your fingertips lightly rested on the soft grass, letting you feel your energy connect with them, channeling it all the way down through the planet and up to the sky where it danced with the stars. Once again you were faced with that infinite void looming over you, holding the answers you so desperately needed. But instead of yelling, of trying to force your way in as you had been trying to do for hours, you tried something different. You took a deep breath and simply let it in as opposed to fighting it. 

It was as if a switch had been flicked. With that simple action everything was unveiled to you. You gasped out in pain as it all flashed through your head, almost too fast to comprehend. Obi Wan jumped up, knowing, feeling through the force that something had changed. You stood up as images filled your mind, overwhelming you. Destruction, chaos, and you? You were saved, by what, from what? There was something missing, a piece the universe still had to show you. 

“No, no no no.” You cried under your breath. It was too much. It hurt, it couldn't be possible, it wasn't. Tears streamed down your cloudy eyes as you screamed. Obi Wan ran towards you. He caught you as you collapsed under yourself, your eyes a strange milky white as if you were in some kind of trance. Or nightmare. 

You slowly recovered in his arms, wailing and clinging to him, unable to believe what you had witnessed. 

“What is it, What’s wrong?” 

“It's gone, it's all gone! I-I don’t know how.” You shook in his arms, the rain pouring down on the both of you. “Oh my god, I’m alone.” It was as if you simply broke. He held you, (For what else could he do?) as you fell apart in his grasp, your sobs blending in with the pitter patter of that rain.

Obi Wan could feel it too, In the force that surrounded you. He pieced it together as he held you tightly. He figured out that all this time, everything you knew, everything you fought to get back in your life, had been gone, obliterated, simply lost. And that you, by some miracle were different. He didn't know if it was the book or your force sensitivity but something had saved you. But could it really be called “saved” if everything you knew was gone? 

His heart ached for you as everything inside you collapsed. it was all he could do to hold you as the rain poured down. 

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Fic Writer Interview

I got tagged by the excellent @astriiformes Ages ago to do this fic writer interview thing, and I’m finally getting around it! So here goes...

Name:

Mairi (sounds like 'marry'), Kamemor over on AO3 (after a particularly cool Romulan politician in a Star Trek novel, if you were wondering)

Fandoms:

Currently, I'm writing a lot of RWBY fic and that's unlikely to change because I'm deep in Special Interest Hell with no signs of coming up for air. In the past, I've also written a bunch of stuff for Criminal Minds and The Flash/DCTV. I've got a lot of other fandoms, but those are the main ones I've written for.

Two-shot:

Assuming this is asking if I've ever written one, technically no. But I do have a series (Just Hold On, a RWBY fix-it) that currently consists of two fics which could stand alone as they are, although I have plans to continue that one for quite a few more fics if I can find the motivation and time. And I guess I also have a couple of fics that I could have split into two chapters because they switch from one POV to another about halfway through. I like to stick to third person limited POV, and that means I often have section breaks when I want to switch from one character's perspective to another's, and for a two-person scene that usually means two sections. But I like the oneshot structure, and usually I don't feel like what I'm writing is long enough to split into chapters.

Most popular multi-chapter:

I only have one true multi-chapter fic, and it's Moving Forward, a Flash fic based on the idea of Reverse Flash being taken prisoner at the end of s1 rather than being wiped from existence. It's technically still unfinished, but I got a lot of lovely comments on that one a few years back when I was posting it, including a few folks that went through and commented on each chapter and really made my day. Maybe one day I'll actually finish it...

The only other thing I have that’s multi-chapter is a collection of missing scene ficlets, also Flash fic, but that doesn’t really count.

Actual worst part of writing:

My brain tends to be very visual when I'm writing fanfic for a TV show, and few things are as annoying as knowing exactly the facial expression someone is pulling and having No Idea how to describe it in words. Same with tones of voice. Also, I tend to jump straight into writing the bits of scenes that are most interesting to me, and going back and adding in the context that you need to make something actually readable for someone that isn't you can be a bit tiresome.

How you choose your titles:

It depends, tbh. A lot of my older fics are titled with short verb phrases that are pretty straightforward (like 'Moving Forward' or 'Breaking the Cycle'), but recently I've rather enjoyed using song lyrics. Most of my RWBY fics have lyric titles either from songs from the show itself or songs that I've got on my extensive Ironwood character playlist or otherwise just quite like and feel like they fit. I don't tend to find titles all that difficult, and I've got a fair few WIPs that have them already.

Do you outline:

Again, depends on the fic. With longer ones, yes, usually as a list of bullet points describing what happens. But shorter missing scene fics or things that I bashed out in only one or two sessions and only follow a single conversation tend not to be outlined because they just flow as I write them. I've got some more extensive outlines for a few of the fix-it AUs I've been playing with, but even then they're just bullet point lists or mostly held in my own head.

Ideas I probably won't get around to but wouldn't it be nice:

I have. So many. Most of them are RWBY fix-it fic, which is fun to write at the moment of divergence but then A Huge Endeavour to follow any further than that. I’ve planned out a bunch of different shapes for where the three different versions I’ve already written and posted would go, but there’s only one of them that I’m really continuing (aforementioned two fic series). Although I have a dilemma there, because the climax of the story arc that I figured out for that ‘verse would work even better in the other one that focuses more on Penny & Ironwood. But it’s not as simple as just throwing the idea into continuity with that one, because there’s a Major difference between the two in that in one of them, Qrow was the one who got through to Ironwood, and in the other they kinda hate each other over the whole ‘I blame you (and also me but mostly you) for Clover’s death’ thing, so I’d have to plot out a completely different relationship arc there which would have a knock-on impact on how well Ironwood is dealing with everything else. Canon divergence fic! it’s a good time.

I’ve also got So Much other RWBY fic in bits and pieces in various Google docs, it’s ridiculous. (Including a superhero AU that I’m rather fond of conceptually, but don’t really have a solid arc plot for.) A lot of it would be nice to get into a publishable state, but I probably won’t ever be bothered to.

On the not-RWBY front, I've also got a big Criminal Minds/Silent Witness crossover that I've planned out all the beats of, but actually writing it means coming up with the specific details of the murders and the autopsy scenes and a whole lot of technical stuff that I'm not comfortable just winging based on what I've seen on TV. But I also don't like researching real life crime stuff even though I love a good crime drama, so you see my dilemma. I like casefic in theory, but in practice I'm probably not going to write much of it. 

Callouts @ me:

Just because you’re an insomniac who mostly writes fic at night rather than sleeping doesn’t mean that every conversation fic has to happen as a result of one or both characters being unable to sleep, my dude. There are Other circumstances in which people talk to each other.

Best writing traits:

I’m good at character voice, although that’s a pretty standard thing to be good at. I also really like unconventional crossovers, I’ve gotten pretty good at playing around with conversations between characters who never met or aren’t even from the same universe and coming up with a believable dynamic for them. I also like to think that I’m good at getting into the heads of awkward characters and figuring out which bits to poke at in order to get them to do things they didn’t do in canon. (And figuring out how they rationalised the things they did actually do.) That’s a big reason why I liked writing Reverse Flash, the complicated bastard, and it’s why I’m having so much fun with Ironwood now. You’ve really got to work at him to get him to change direction, great big stubborn disaster that he is, and I think I’ve rather gotten the hang of that.

Spicy tangential opinion:

People should write more longfic focused on gen relationships. Some of the most fascinating relationships in stories, at least to me, are the ones between people you’d never expect to be friends, or between adults and the kids they feel responsible for who also feel kinda responsible for them, and that makes for a (imho) much more interesting story than most ships. I Live for a good complicated mentor/mentee relationship, but I hate looking for fic about them because then I have to deal with the fact that a lot of people ship those relationships and it squicks me out. Give me the longfics about types of relationships I actually care about!

(This whole thing is a good 40% of the reason that I’ve ended up get absorbed in planning out a RWBY Vol8 re-write where the parallels and the newly complicated relationship between Ruby and Ironwood is The Main Agenda. (The other 60% of the reason being ‘[x character] deserved better’.) There’s some Really Good Stuff there and I want to play with it in more of a longform situation than my usual oneshots.)

No pressure tagging:

@squireofgeekdom , @catgirlalchemist , and anyone else who wants to give it a go! Feel free to say I tagged you :D

[sineala]

On Being Fannish

An answer to a question I got on Patreon last month.

A question I recently received:

I saw your Tumblr post about The Eagle and I went back to your AO3 page to see the other fandoms you’d written in. I’m curious as to whether there’s a fandom you’ve written in that you didn’t particularly follow or like the canon? And why (can be more than 1 answer) For me I think about Due South. I tried to get into to show but it wasn’t happening. But I was engrossed in the works (and fanzines).

And my answer:

Thank you for asking this! I think there's a few different ways I could answer this question, and I'm going to try all of them.

The larger, more general big-picture question, for me, is: what qualities about a fandom make me feel fannish about it? This is something I have actually thought about enough over the years to have a decent answer for. One big plus is if the fandom has a lot of canon -- I mean, I'm in Marvel Comics fandom now, and my first fandom was Star Trek, so when I say I like fandoms with a lot of canon, I mean a lot of canon. I like to have lots of facts and little details to be able to play around with; that's the kind of thing that gets my writing brain going. Single TV shows without extended universes are probably just enough canon, but I would be happier with more. Single books are not usually enough canon to make my fannish brain light up, but book series can. Single movies are not usually enough.

Similarly, I also really like when a fandom has multiple versions in different media -- like, if it's a book series and a TV show and a movie and a comic, or whatever. I like being able to compare and contrast different versions of plots and characters, and, yes, I do find the Marvel multiverse absolutely delightful. But, say, I probably wouldn't have been into The Eagle as long as I was if there hadn't been so much other ancillary canon -- not only was there the movie, there was also the book The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff, and the 1970s BBC miniseries that also adapted the book, and there were the rest of Sutcliff's novels, many of which were set in the same universe (The Dolphin Ring Cycle), and then that even ties into, well, being a giant classical history and language nerd and getting to be fannish, more or less, about Ancient Rome. (I learned Latin so I could write a Roman AU. No, really.) If The Eagle had just been a movie and nothing else, with no other related things, I probably wouldn't have been very interested.

There's also another important quality that I like to see in fandoms I really get fannish about, creatively fannish, and this is going to sound deeply weird when I say it, but this is the best way I can think of to phrase it: they have to be mediocre. They can't be bad, exactly, because if they are bad then I'm not going to like them at all, but they can't be too good, because if they're too good, I can't really do anything with them. Take Babylon 5 as an example. I happen to love Babylon 5. I watched it when I was originally airing, I've watched it multiple times in reruns, I own copies of the scripts and a bunch of the tie-in novels and all the DVDs. You get the idea. I used to be glued to the  Lurker's Guide and rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated. And as a fan, I love it, but I can't really create anything about it. It's too good. It's a sprawling, epic, five-year arc, from before arc-based TV was cool, with what I consider to be amazing characters and a gripping plot. But there's no room. What kind of story could I possibly tell? Sure, maybe I could write a couple of vignettes. I'm pretty sure I have. But I can't tell a B5 story that's equal to the glory of B5. B5 already did that. And it wrapped up the arc on the way out. There's not really much left to do.

And I know we say that no one hates comics like comics fans do, but when I say comics are mediocre I mean that with affection. Sure, there are so many amazing stories that I love with my entire heart. But there are also things I wish they had done differently, and gaps that canon never explored -- and that, that's the kind of thing that gets my fannish brain going, if I can look at canon and think, okay, this but more. And then I can do that. There's room to play around! If I want to rewrite Civil War but add more UST between Steve and Tony, I can do that! Everyone can do that!

And then there's the more specific version of the question: what fandoms do I like the fandom for but not the canon? I have been in a lot of fandoms over the years, and I'm willing to read in fandoms I don't know as long as the fic is good, so that often means I've read a lot of fic in big slash fandoms without being into the canon all that much. I've read a bunch of Teen Wolf slash, I've never seen the show in my life, and I'm not likely to start. I only made it through Season 1 of Merlin but I still read the fic sometimes. I have zero interest in hockey but sometimes I read the Hockey RPF AUs. I've read a bunch of SGA fic but am kind of meh about the actual show. You get the idea. Sometimes I read a bunch of fic and get a new fandom. Sometimes I just get the fic.

And then there's your actual question: have I written in fandoms where I didn't like the canon? I'd have to say generally not. My fandom journey is a little weird because I spent about ten years lurking and not writing anything and not really able to finish anything -- this started back in the late 90s when the big Western slash fandoms were The Sentinel, Due South, Highlander, X-Files, and maybe Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, and it felt like everyone in fandom was in some combination of the above. And in all those fandoms, I liked the canon (I think I would change my mind about TS if I rewatched it now, though) and I liked the fandom -- I just didn't write any fic because I couldn't figure out how to start and finish a story. So the fact that I have barely any dS stories doesn't mean I hated dS; it means I just wasn't writing anything back when I was really into dS. And then one day a switch flipped in my brain, or something, and I wrote a 90,000-word Professionals story and it just went on from there.

I do love Due South in particular, though; it was the fandom I met my wife in, because we both shipped Fraser/Kowalski and liked to hang out on AOL Instant Messenger and talk about fandom. And then fourteen years later we got married.

I hope that answers your question!

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello CorvusDraconis and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you so much for sitting down with us to chat.

You’re a well known and beloved figure in the SS/HG community for your many stories - including a personal favourite of mine, A chance for happiness.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I have always had a fascination for the shiny things and the Northwest Coast depictions of Raven the Trickster/Creator, and, I tend to hoard (and get super protective) of my art supplies. Corvids have always been a positive sign in my life. They tend to show up when I’m feeling down and engage in funny antics in the yard. As for dragons, I’ve always had a love for them and think the Western depiction of them as dangerous beasts with no mind but for hoarding treasure and killing people only to be slain by a knight quite despicable. 

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Severus, actually. I see a lot of my life in his. Hardships, challenges, bullying— trying to be something better and later wondering about unwise decisions. I have a very similar dislike for dunderheads, but I do not share his inclination to denude rosebushes of their petals. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) I have always preferred fantasy and sci-fi. 

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

I am not sure if you would call it a classic novel, but grew up on all things Tolkien (and even puzzled through the Silmarillion at the grand age of seven), and have a special place in my heart for Watership Down. While I’ve read pieces like War and Peace, Iliad, Ulysses, Pride and Prejudice, Grapes of Wrath, Moby Dick, Great Gatsby, Little Women, Catcher in the Rye, Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn, Scarlet Letter, Don Quixote, To Kill a Mockingbird, Animal Farm, Jane Eyre, Lord of the Flies, Tale of Two Cities, Heart of Darkness, Robinson Crusoe, Alice in Wonderland, Great Expectations, Odyssey, Frankenstein, Dracula, Crime and Punishment, Heart of Darkness, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, The Secret Garden, Treasure Island, Anne of Green Gables, Les Misérables, Peter Pan, Gulliver’s Travels, all things Jack London, 20000 Leagues, etc.— they never captured me as aptly as Anne McCaffery’s Dragonriders of Pern or Mercedes Lackley’s the Last Herald Mage. Though, if I were to pick classic stories I read more than once (litmus test for things I like) it would be things such as The Secret Garden, Call of the Wild, Wild Fang, The Hobbit, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,  and The Last Unicorn. At what age did you start writing? The moment I could pick up pencil and paper, I was writing. I had notepads full of stories I wrote as a kid. Alas, my dad found them one day when I was off to college, made fun of them, and I came home and burned every single one in mortification.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

The moment TV shows did “stupid things” to their characters. I used to write things about Beauty and the Beast (the old CBS show) when they killed off the main character, Knight Rider, Robocop, Transformers— there are probably far more that I just don’t remember now. I was writing it long before there was a fanfiction dot net or a term to even call it. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? I am a shameless romantic for the beauty within and sometimes the quite literal love for a monster (not just some person who acts like a monster and changes into a better person.) The misunderstood monster is perhaps my most favourite theme, and it shows up in my stories often if not always. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? I ship SessKag from Inuyasha, Lucard/Sophie from Dracula: The Series, and Loki/Hermione when I’m feeling crossover-y. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? Other than my favourite fanon that Severus lives/survives/finds a better life free of two masters and his guilt, I would say I would want Harry to wise the heck up and realise his father was a swine, his godfather was an almost successful murderer that used his own best mate to try and kill off another student, and his mother wasn’t all that hot either. I would want him to find value in himself without having to make stuff up about his “perfect” parents. Then again, I would want Vernon/Petunia to be arrested for child abuse and put in gaol, but— then the story would have been very different XD Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?  Sometimes quiet, sometimes music. But usually, I am best mates with Spotify.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

In the HP universe: I honestly don’t read many of them because I’m always writing my own stuff XD, but when I really feel like I need a good Ron bashing SSHG HEA, I read just about anything by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse. However, that being said, I often return to “The Sun is Often Out” by Hannah-1888 for just the right amount of angst and HEA to make me happy.

In the Inuyasha universe: A Trick of Fate by PristinelyUngifted

In the Marvel universe:  Mutual Respect Sends His Regrets by moor

In the Star Trek universe:  Gratified By Your Company by starfleetdream

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I go by the seat of my feathered rump, to be honest. Inspiration is a fickle, unpredictable beast, and I usually don’t know what is going to happen until it does.

What is your writing genre of choice?

Fantasy

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Chance of Happiness because it was my very first publication. It may not have been my best, but it was my first, and it very well could have been my last yet somehow wasn’t.

Looks Can Be Deceiving and One Step Forward, Two Decades Back are two epic tales that seemed to demand being written. The fact I finished them was something I think deserves a little pride.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Looks started off with me attempted to write Dramione just once. It failed. Draco demanded to be her brother of the heart, Viktor came in and said “nope she’s mine,” and no one was more surprised at the outcome of that story than me. The characters did what THEY wanted.

I learned that trying to plan a story from start to finish is useless when the characters decide what they want. The story demanded more, and I was just a conduit that typed it down. For me, at least, attempting to outline and plan is utterly useless

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

I think every story I write is personal in some way. The inspiration comes from somewhere inside, and I often have no idea what it is until I go back and read it later. I think the story wrote itself in a lot of ways, which made it easier in a way, but there are a lot of things I can’t say were from personal experience because as a high fantasy of talking gryphons and such I can only imagine it. There is no basis in real life on how any of that would go down. There is a freedom in that but also many challenges in making it real enough to identify with despite how alien and fantastic the idea is.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

Dragonriders of Pern introduced sentient dragons and the idea that despite a vast difference in species there could be teamwork and love between the two as they teamed up against a greater threat.

The herald-mage books by Mercedes Lackley were also important staples in my childhood because it impressed the values of responsibility despite having powers others did not, and that people were fallible despite greatness and potential.

Gandalara Cycle by Randall Garrett and Vicki Ann Heydron: I cannot tell you how often I read this story. I had dog ears on these novels because there was so much I loved about them. It was a search for humanity when displaced in a seemingly alien world, societal clashes, and the great sha’um (the giant rideable cats) that were the main characters’ partners for life.  

 The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede: A princess rebels against her arranged marriage by running away to be a dragon princess.

All of these books had creatures in it that chose to partner with a human and be with them for life, not as lovers that you find in the more modern supernatural romance blender out there, but the ultimate friend for life— the family you choose.

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Oh heck no. Hah. They have their secrets, and I have mine. Personally, I think mine are more healthy than theirs.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

Very.

I write for myself. Sometimes I’ll write a story for one of my betas or a sshg friend, but for the most part, I write for my own entertainment because nothing like what I write is out there. There is a lot of SSHG out there, but mine is almost always a creature feature story. I blame X-Files growing up. It tickles me that others enjoy my stories, but in the end I write to get things down and out of my head. They just so happen to entertain others as they do me.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I will often engage in A/N talk at the end of chapters, but I really don’t engage in the fandom. I loathe social media. That being said, I read every review, and while I don’t reply to everything because FF dot net is a horrible platform for messaging anymore (or ever was really)-- I appreciate every single one. Sometimes it helps to know people are enjoying the story for the story’s sake.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Get a beta, even if you are pretty good at writing. Get one because a second pair of eyes will catch things you don’t. Read your own stuff out loud. If you trip over it, your audience will too. If you stumble, so will they.

Get a beta who isn’t afraid to tell you that your shite stinks in places and you make no sense. You may want a cheerleader, but what you need is a beta. If you are super lucky, you can have both at once.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I play computer games and sew things. I’ve sewn a lot of things lately. Scrub caps and masks for work— 

There has been a lot of writer’s block lately due to the times, and I will not write when I’m uninspired. I will not force inspiration. That’s not fair to me or those unfortunate enough to share in the reading. I want to be able to go back on a story I wrote and enjoy it and not curse at myself. XD

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Sometimes certain catch phrases and things from real life friends have trickled in as a sort of Easter egg (unbeknownst to them since I don’t tell them I write fanfic). Sometimes random news stories or whatnot find their way in. Lessons of the day. Random events. Things that are too odd not to stick in my brain somehow. I can’t say I always do it on purpose, though.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

No, I have a goal this year to finish off the unfinished stories. This is made harder because Dragon and the Rose keeps adding more and more bunnies into the idea bin, and my brain wants to run with them, but I’m like NO DANGIT, I HAVE STUFF TO FINISH STILL!  It’s a hard thing trying to finish what you start when so much interesting stuff pops up and waves at you like “heeeeeyyyyy I’m cool too!”

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Keep writing but remember you can always be better. You can always improve.  Writing isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t about how many reviews you get or how many fans you may or may not have. Write because you want to write. Write what you like not what other people like. Write for you because in the end, you are the one who goes back to read it and say “I wrote this story, and I still love it” instead of forcing yourself to write something just because the topic is “popular” and gets a lot of visitors. Write something you’ll be proud to go back and read and enjoy. You’ll find when you write something genuinely, readers will come. And if only one person leaves you a paragraph review on how much your story meant to them out of someone else’s hundreds of  “great!” (with nothing else)-- think of what you value more.

If my story helped someone through a dark time.

Just one person—

Then it was a good effort.

Maybe that person didn’t have the bravery to leave a message. Maybe they are ashamed. Maybe they send you a PM instead of a review.

That is, to me, the ultimate reason why I realised that despite writing stories for myself that there are people out there that needed to hear my story at just the right time in their life. If my story can bring a little joy to someone else, then it doesn’t matter how many reviews I have. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have thousands of reviews like “that other author.” What matters is that I told my story; someone out there read it and it spoke to them.

I love hearing from people and what they liked about my stories, but I also am glad that there are some people out there who secretly like my stories but do not feel safe enough to review.

So, I would say to the aspiring author: write for yourself but share it. You never know whose day you will make with your story. They may never tell you. They may tell you years later (happened to me!). There is a good chance that someone out there needs your story as much as you need to write it. That being said, find yourself a beta to share your journey with you. You may find a few friend in the process.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

You are quite welcome.