#this is the new dumbest thing ive ever written

[boatboysrowout]

i am So Very Interested in the burger king vs mcdonalds au if you're willing to share more 👁️👁️

i'm so glad you asked

it's all grian's fault, of course. 'it'll be great if all my friends got a summer job around the same place!' he said. 'it'll be fun hanging out on our lunch breaks!' he said. 'this is a genius idea, nothing will go wrong!' he said.

it goes wrong in less than a day.

it all starts with scar's job application getting rejected from burger king. he takes this very personally, as the man who interviews him is grian's friend who had just been hired the day before, and scar had been assured he would get an easy in. ren, however, didn't like how many questions scar was asking about their ice cream machine and where their security cameras were placed.

so out scar goes, sulking his way through a successful interview to work at the white castle down the road, joining bdubs and cleo. the rest of grians friends end up scattered in shops around the two restaurants with varying degrees of satisfaction with their summer jobs.

grian, as he is wont to do, waffles around a bit before committing to a job. he's pretty sure he's going to join bigb at the library, but before he decides, he goes to pay scar a visit to make sure he's still not sulking about the burger king fiasco.

that, too, is a mistake.

grian doesn't know what happened. he swears he just meant to stop in and say hi. and maybe play a little prank! just a funny little joke! only he didn't realize how much hair spray bdubs uses and how flammable that made his hair, and really, how could grian have known that the second after he fled the scene of his crime, scar would walk in at the exact wrong moment holding a lighter, making him look like the guiltiest motherfucker on earth?

it's absolutely not his fault.

but.

now scar is out of a job again, and he's gotten it in his head that the only way to get his revenge on ren is to work at the mcdonalds across the street from the burger king and, to quote scar, "make him regret not taking my offer." and listen. this is the third job scar's had in two days. it kind of feels a little bit like grian's responsibility to make sure he doesn't get fired from this one too. but it'll be fine. what else could go wrong?

so much. so, so much.

scar almost immediately goes off the rails. he creates his own customer rewards program in which he refuses to serve a customer if they don't pledge their undying loyalty to the mcdonalds in exchange for scar certified McReputation points. this somehow is remarkably successful despite grain's repeated warnings that this is a scam- scar pulls some strings and grian is forced into kitchen duty after he tries to warn one too many customers. martyn and ren catch word of this and try institute a similar program, albeit to a much less successful degree. scar, however, cannot let that stand.

grian also cannot let that stand, but this is more due to martyn coming over every day during his lunch break and annoying grian by telling increasingly convoluted jokes all ending with a punchline relating to the mcdonald's broken ice cream machine.

so that afternoon grian and scar pay the burger king a visit. scar goes up to the front counter and gives ren and martyn the longest sales pitch of his life, something about cereal, and while they're distracted grain climbs through the drive through window and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat.

that's the beginning of the end.

ren takes the attack way too personally. he gets naked, makes martyn crown him with a shitty cardboard crown, dubs himself the burger king, and declares war on the mcdonalds.

he and martyn set out to recruit for their army amongst the rest of their friends in the area to varying degrees of success. they first go to visit joel in his art shop, but quickly decide to leave after the first thing they hear upon walking in is a conversation in the back room in which someone appears to be blackmailing joel over something in the basement.

they decide to try impulse and tango down at the arcade, and both of them are so confused by ren's sales pitch they just agree to make him go away (they do the same thing when scar and grian visit them a few hours later).

ren and martyn's visit to the white castle is the worst yet. instead of walking in and recruiting bdubs and cleo with their impassioned speech and thirst for justice, the burger king and his hand walk into an active warzone.

there's smoke everywhere. bdubs is screaming. martyn swears he hears a gun go off. cleo is cackling. someone runs past them entirely engulfed in flames. as ren and martyn make a hasty retreat etho cheerfully greets them from his seat on a bench outside the building, tinkering with something that looks suspiciously like a pipe bomb.

they decide to take a break from recruiting after that.

meanwhile, scar and grian have been busy. they've recruited jimmy and scott from the florists down the road to launch a yelp smear campaign against the burger king, tanking them from a respectable 3.8 stars to 1 star in an afternoon. to a normal human being, this would mean nothing, but they text a screenshot of this to martyn and ren with the caption 'this u?'

martyn and ren have never once reacted to anything normally or proportionality in their life.

skizz, one of their regulars, also takes great offense to this. he insists that this is a devastating blow against the burger king's honor, and vows to get revenge.

no one's sure exactly how he does it, but within an hour he manages to trace one of the bad reviews back to jimmy and promptly doxes him, getting him fired due to the content of his surprisingly popular google+ account.

scar and grian, after laughing hysterically for an hour over the fact that jimmy was a google+ influencer, continue their reign of terror over the burger king by taking a selfie of them next to the burger king drive through menu, which they somehow have relocated to the roof of the mcdonalds.

it's the last straw for ren.

decked out in a red cape made of the burger king curtains and armed with a spatula and the fury of a thousands suns, ren marches across the street to the mcdonalds and challenges scar and grian to a winner-takes-all duel.

a crowd begins to gather, with nearly everybody grian knows save for the people involved in what has been dubbed the white castle war, forming a loose arch behind ren and martyn as they begin to chant for a fight.

grian and scar, who came outside to see what all the commotion was about, both predictably panic at the sight of two men in capes charging towards them backed by a crowd chanting for blood. grian tries to claw his way back up the roof while scar, possessed by the spirit of apollo, does the only thing he can and chucks a potato at ren's head.

that potato hits ren square in the forehead and knocks him out cold.

the crowd goes silent.

martyn, thinking ren is dead, drops to his knees and cradles his unconscious body close to his chest and dramatically confesses his everlasting love, vowing to never leave ren's side and to never stop spreading the tale of ren's 'grey long and strong' bits.

grian, upon witnessing this, realizes to his abject horror that he also has gay feelings for his manager.

he has no idea what to do with these feelings, and the crowd is still chanting fight, and he's experienced a lot of stress and unexpected emotions in the last five minutes, so he really can't be blamed when he turns on his heel and punches scar in the face.

scar, surprised but absolutely willing to go along with it, punches grian back, and they begin beating the shit out of each other in the most pathetic fist fight a mcdonalds parking lot has ever witnessed.

meanwhile, there's police cars and fire trucks with sirens on speeding down the road past them, and someone in the crowd realizes 'oh shit are those all going to the white castle?'

so the crowd immediately abandons the world's worst fight to go see what the hell has been going down in the white castle.

it takes a bit, but, with martyn still confessing his love and sobbing over ren's unconscious body, grian finally manages to land a lucky hit and knocks scar out, sending him crumpling to the ground. for the second time that day, grian realizes with horror what he's done, and frantically tries to run to get a medic only to trip over scar's unconscious body and knock himself out as well.

The headline of the local newspaper the next morning reads as follows:

...anyone wanna ask me about my last life mall au

[ellecdc]

okay so I just wanted to start by saying I love you're moonwater stories so much.

Ive been thinking about this like paring ig for a bit and your recent moonwater story when r gets home from girls night just made me think of it more so if you're interested id love for you to do it.

Basically its like poly moonwater plus Barty ive been calling it moonwaterkiller in my head (idk if its already a ship or already has a name but I haven't been able to find anything) but basically I feel like r and Barty would be like a chaotic duo and reg and rem would just be like wtf a lot idk... I just think it has some potential and I just love your writing so fucking much.

(I also just love how you write Barty)

so if you're interested I think it would be cool

much love :)

I love the way your mind works babes. thanks for your request! (it's almost two am where I am so please forgive any awkward sentences or spelling mistakes). also, if I didn't completely lose everyone with my DeathStar fics - this may very well do it. && this was written with the help of our fabulous @unstablereader

poly!moonwater x chaotic fem!reader + Barty Crouch Junior

Regulus didn’t know whether to be concerned or slightly aroused at the slightly deranged way that Remus was stalking the halls in search of you and Barty. 

You and Regulus had both at one point or another been in a friends-with-benefits situation with Barty (albeit separately) during your time in school, before you and Regulus went and fell in love with a Gryffindor. 

Regulus still wasn’t quite over the humiliation; both of falling in love and falling in love with a Gryffindor.

Of course, you and Regulus both stayed friends with Barty; Regulus mostly because he couldn’t shake him (ignoring the fact that Regulus really was quite fond of his maniacal friend), and you because the two of you really were sort of two sides of the same hyperactive galleon. 

And though Remus (and sometimes Regulus) liked to pretend that yours and Barty’s friendship caused them grief, they couldn’t deny how much they valued Barty’s loyalty and devotion to his friends; specifically you. 

Regulus’ new favourite thing was easily Remus’ new found appreciation for Barty. 

Up until this point, Barty had been his notoriously flirty and salacious self when it came to the likes of Remus, who wasn’t yet accustomed to Barty’s unique…personality.

However, once Remus realised the history between his two partners and the other Slytherin boy, he quickly came to appreciate the kind of pull Barty could have on people.

So, Remus had started flirting back.

Barty hated it.

Regulus loved it.

You started keeping track of the number of times Remus reduced Barty to a blushing and stuttering mess in your notebook. 

Barty hated that too.

It was nearing curfew and Remus and Regulus hadn’t seen you all afternoon. 

Usually that was fine, considering you were a bit of a free spirit. What was concerning, however, was that they hadn’t seen Barty either.

Regulus watched as Remus checked the stupid map that his brother and their friends had created when his brows furrowed in confusion.

“What? Don’t tell me they’re in the middle of the Black Lake again?” Regulus asked quickly, moving to stand over Remus’ shoulder to peer at the map.

“Again?”

“Don’t ask.” Regulus muttered.

“But…doesn’t Barty not know how to swim?”

“I said don’t ask.”

Seeming to know better, Remus turned back and pointed towards the Ravenclaw common room on the map. “It says they’re up in Ravenclaw tower?”

“For fuck’s sake.” Regulus muttered, dragging a hand over his face.

“How’d two Slytherin’s manage to get into Ravenclaw tower?” Remus asked bemusedly, earning him an unimpressed glare from Regulus. 

“Remus, I love you, but that was perhaps the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he closed the map and tucked it back into his trunk.

“Come on, we might be able to catch up to Pandora on her way up and have her help us in.” 

They had indeed caught up to Pandora, and Pandora had indeed helped them in, though it seemed to be for naught. 

“I thought your stupid map said they were here.” Regulus muttered as he surveyed the common room, unable to spot a single lick of green and silver.

“It’s not stupid and they are in here.” Remus muttered back, moving to stand in the dead centre of the room. 

“How do you know they’re here if you can’t see them?”

Remus glared at Regulus before looking around to ensure no one could hear them. “I can smell them.” He whispered.

Well Regulus just didn’t know what good these wolfy senses were if they were still out two Slytherin’s. 

“Shit.” Regulus heard whispered suddenly as a quill fell from the air and landed beside his foot.

Remus and Regulus both looked up to see you and Barty casually lounging in the chandelier above them.

“Are you sodding kidding me!?” Regulus shouted.

“I think our cover’s been blown.” You said simply to Barty as if you didn’t have two fuming and fretting boyfriends standing nearly forty feet give or take below you.

“Pity.” Barty responded as he peered down. “This was a nice refuge.”

“How’d you even get up there?” Remus cried, pacing like he was getting ready to catch you should you fall.

“Magic.” Barty taunted from above.

“Junior, so help me gods if that witch falls I-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lupin. I resent the insinuation that I would ever let anything happen to our sweet angel baby.” Barty bit back immediately.

“Okay, okay. Fair enough.” Remus acquiesced as if he were negotiating a hostage situation. “Why don’t you both just come down here, nice and slow, okay?”

Both you and Barty leaned forward to look down at the two boys, causing the chandelier to swing precariously.

“Fucking hells! Stop moving!” Remus shrieked, causing the attention of the few Ravenclaws sitting in the common room to look over.

“Such a worrier.” Barty muttered as he stood and started manoeuvring himself to the edge of the chandelier - you following him over and causing the chandelier to tip to a nearly 90 degree angle. 

“I’m going to be sick, I’m actually going to throw up right here.” Regulus muttered mostly to himself whilst Remus tried to stand directly underneath you lest you need to be caught. 

To Remus and Regulus’ absolute horror, Barty launched himself away from the chandelier, grabbing at the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling causing the chandelier to swing away from him like a pendulum. 

“JUNIOR!” Remus shouted, causing Barty to momentarily look shamefaced as he looked below him. 

As the chandelier swung towards the opposite wall, you too launched yourself at one of the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling and began monkey climbing down them.

“Can you make sure she doesn’t fall, please.” Remus barked at Regulus as he made his way towards Barty.

Barty let out a high pitched screech and began hastily making his way down the wall. “Run Treasure! Save yourself!” He shouted dramatically.

You turned quickly at that and saw Regulus making his way to you.

You let out a surprised squeak and hurried down, and before Regulus realised what you were doing, you had used your wand to open one of the windows and were shimmying out.

“Oi! What the-” but before Regulus could even shove his torso out the window, you’d managed to shift into your animagus form - a mink, which Regulus felt was very fitting considering what a sodding cheeky minx you were being right now - and began scaling your way down the side of the building.

Regulus was interrupted by the sound of a squeal - Remus’ squeal - and turned to see Remus hanging halfway out of the window in much the same fashion that Regulus had been.

Unlike Regulus, however, Remus had been successful in his capture of Barty and had him hanging from the tallest tower at Hogwarts by one of his arms.

“Junior! Are you trying to sodding kill me!?” Remus barked angrily at him, trying to pull Barty up without any help from Barty himself.

Barty looked up at Remus with all the innocence he could muster (read: none) and winked. 

“Catch me if you can, Mr. Wolf.”

And Barty shrunk into his own animagus form - an osprey - and let out a cry before swooping down to pick up something that looked suspiciously like a mink from the eaves of one of the lower towers and took off towards the grounds. 

“Fucking son of a bitch.” Remus cursed as he tried catching his breath, still sitting half out of the Ravenclaw window. “Why do we put up with those two?”

Regulus shrugged with all the nonchalance he could muster. “‘Cause they’re cute?”

Remus sighed and hit his head against the windowsill. “They’re so sodding lucky that they are…”

“Come on.” Regulus said, offering Remus a hand and helping him out of the window. “Unfortunately, I know exactly where they went.”

Barty loved nothing more than the feeling of his feet sinking into the sediment of the Black Lake below his feet. He also loved the feeling of being near you, his Treasure. He also loved the idea of two handsome men frantically searching for you, and him by proxy.

All this to say, Barty was having a really nice night.

“Junior!”

Barty’s face morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as he turned towards the voice of the man and his boyfriend as they stormed towards the waters edge.

“Well hello, Lupin. How nice of you to join us; care for a dip?”

“Get out of the water.” Regulus drawled in a bored tone.

“Why would I do such a thing? The water’s lovely, I’m in wonderful company, and we’re going to feed the Giant Squid.” He argued.

“Barty.” Remus barked with all the severity he could manage. “You don’t know how to swim.”

Barty scoffed indignantly. “Yeah, well…neither can Reggie!”

“That’s why I’m standing on the shore you absolute bell-end.” Regulus countered quickly.

Remus turned his furious gaze into a bemused one as he took in Regulus. “Do you really not know how to swim either?”

“None of us can!” You shouted from your disturbingly deeper place within the lake as the gentle waves nearly lapped against your skirt.

“Oh, for the love of- you know what? This summer, everyone’s getting swimming lessons.” Remus proclaimed.

“Ou, does that mean I get to see you in your swim trunks, Lupin?” Barty called.

Remus, without missing a beat, started towards Barty, walking into the lake in his shoes and all. “You could see me right now, in less, for free, Junior. You only had to ask.”

Barty let out a screech and tried running towards you, albeit in slow motion on account of the water’s resistance. “Y/N! Treasure! Help! Make him stop!”

“No can do, bubs.” You called back in monotone, still throwing chunks of bread towards the middle of the Lake in hopes of eliciting the company of one Giant Squid. 

“Dove, you’re going to catch a cold; get out of the water.” Remus called to you, pants soaked up to his knees after giving up on chasing Barty in the water.

“We’re trying to make friends!” You whined.

“You cannot make friends with a squid, amour. He will eat you.” Regulus explained from the shore. 

“He wouldn’t eat his friend.” You scoffed. 

“Dove.” Remus barked again.

“I want to see the the big water kitty!” You whined again, turning towards the boys and offering the most pathetic pout you could muster.

Regulus scoffed from his place, still dry on the shore, Remus let out a pained sigh, and Barty all but skipped towards you. 

“A valiant death it will be!” He cheered before he felt the fabric of his jumper being summoned by an accio, dragging him unceremoniously through the water towards Remus.

“No! Ah! AH! STRANGER DANGER. STRANGER DANGER!” He shrieked as Remus threw him over his shoulder.

“Okay, well, now you’re just showing off, Lupin.” He muttered, crossing his arm petulantly as Remus held his free hand out to you.

“Dove, please? Come inside with me?”

You looked distressed at this and moved obediently towards Remus. “Are you mad at me?” You asked timidly.

Barty could actually feel Remus’ body soften beneath him as he allowed some of his tension to dissipate. “Of course not, dovey. I love you.”

You leaned over and pecked a kiss to the corner of his mouth before turning into your animagus mink and swimming to the shore, crawling up Regulus’ pant leg (who admonished you in faux contempt for ruining his trousers), and allowed him to carry you back to the castle. 

Barty was feeling petulant about the whole matter of being chased and chastised so decided then that he was going to force Remus to carry him all the way back to the castle in silence.

Unfortunately for Barty, he hated silence.

He was at least proud he’d made it to the dungeons before giving up on his vow of silence.

“You’re really not upset with her?” Barty asked quietly from his current prison. He could feel Remus’ head tilt in confusion, though his steps never faltered.

“Of course not?” He responded as a question.

“Hmmm.” Barty said, racking his brain for something to upset or fluster this man.

“Oh! What about me having slept with both your boyfriend and your girlfriend?”

“What about it?” Remus asked plainly. 

“Well…aren’t you upset about that?”

Remus scoffed and adjusted his grip on Barty, hand’s migrating none too innocently up the back of his thighs. “Junior. The only thing I’m upset about is that you haven’t slept with all three of us. I don’t like feeling left out, you know?”

Barty made a strangled sound as he struggled in Remus’ grip to no avail, causing you and Regulus to chuckle from a few strides ahead as you all stepped into the Slytherin common room.

“We told you he was smooth, Barty.” You chuckled.

“You should hear him in bed.” Regulus taunted, reaching over to pinch Barty’s arse, causing him to yelp and start cursing at him.

Remus relented and put Barty down, who immediately made for Regulus’ throat.

“Easy, Junior.” Remus chuckled, pulling him back by the shoulder. “You wanna keep Reg around, don’t you?”

Barty harrumphed and crossed his arms indignantly.

“We’d like to keep you around.” Remus continued.

Barty grumbled again and let out a quiet. “Fine.”

Remus beamed at him, which was very alarming if you asked Barty, as they stepped into his and Regulus’ shared dorm; Rosier and Avery were already asleep in their beds with their curtains drawn.

“Yeah? You’ll let us keep you?” Remus asked.

“I said fine, Lupin.” He bit back.

“Great. So we’re in a relationship then.” He explained simply, causing Barty to level him with a severe glare. “How dare you, Lupin. Never say such vile things to me again.” He spat before storming towards the boy’s bathroom.

Regulus groaned and grabbed his own toiletries before making his way to the washroom behind him. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t try to drown himself in the shower again.”

Remus shook his head and changed into his pyjamas before climbing into Regulus’ bed and pulling you towards him.

“So, explain this to me, Dove. Why is Barty the way he is?”

You snorted a laugh and turned to face him. “You’re going to have to be way more specific, love.”

Remus chuckled and ran his hands up and down your back. “He likes Reg. He loves you. He seems sweet on me. We invite him to be ours and he accepts - but runs when we make it mean something?”

You smiled up at your boyfriend and booped his nose with a perfectly manicured finger - which Remus found very confusing considering you spend your spare time scaling the rafters of grand ceilings and enticing Giant Squids from their hiding places. “Barty doesn’t understand, Rem. He wouldn’t know love if it punched him right in the face.”

Remus could feel his brows furrow and he pulled you in tighter to his chest. “Dove…love doesn’t punch you in the face?”

Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say as you rolled your eyes in exasperation and threw your head back onto the pillow. “You see? That’s the kind of thing someone who grew up loved would know.”

It’s not that Remus ever really forgot to worry about you per se, but he sometimes really worried about you Purebloods. 

At some point in the night, you had apparently decided Remus and Regulus’ bed was too hot and moved to Barty’s. Remus would have been slightly more petulant about the matter if he hadn’t thought you looked absolutely precious with Barty resting his head on your chest.

He looked so innocent in his sleep.

Sleep clearly didn’t know him very well.

Remus was shocked when the four of you entered the Great Hall for breakfast and Barty actually followed you three to the Gryffindor table. Though Remus was trying to play it cool, he couldn’t help but feel a flutter of hope surge within him at what that might mean for the three four of you.

Remus was just about to bite into his toast when a sultry voice sounded from behind Barty.

“Hello, Bartemus.” Amelia Bones sing-songed as she trailed a finger up Barty’s arm.

His brows furrowed almost comically from above the rim of his coffee cup before he slowly lowered it and turned to consider the Hufflepuff.

“Bones. Can I help you?” He asked, punctuating the word help as he plucked her fingers from his being between his two fingers as if he’d found something really quite disgusting on his person.

“I was thinking, you could help me, perhaps tonight?”

Barty turned to look at her incredulously.

“Help with what, Amelia? I’m really quite busy.” He spat, gesturing wildly to his cup of coffee. 

“An orgasm or two? Gods, you’re pissy in the mornings.”

Barty scoffed, sounding completely scandalised as he clutched at non-existent pearls adorning his neck. “I am sitting here with my beloveds, Amelia. For shame. You see this lot? I’m theirs, capiche?” 

Amelia looked bemusedly at the group of you before shaking her head in confusion. “Whatever you say, Junior.”

She moseyed on away, and Barty turned back towards his cup of coffee. “The gall of some people, honestly.” He said in exasperation, downing the rest of his still hot coffee and standing unceremoniously.

“Well, I best be off. Things to fuck up, people to scare. Tah-tah.” He called, pressing a quick kiss to your hair as he left the Great Hall.

Suddenly, realisation dawned on Remus.

“Ah, I see. So no to a relationship, but he is ours.”

You and Regulus chorused a hum of acknowledgement. 

“That’s just how Barty operates. You’ll get used to it.” You explained, still not looking up from the Daily Prophet you had been reading all this time.

Remus didn’t mind getting used to that; not if it meant he managed to get everything he wanted.

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[lolotheparagon]

One of the dumbest things I think you've ever said was that cartoon fans hate children because they don't like how certain child characters are written or because they think a reboot of a kids show is badly written. Like, you do understand there's a difference, right? Yeah, I totally want children dead or something because I children's entertainment can be better than those soulless, ugly nursery rhyme compilation videos that children are addicted to. Logic.

Cartoon fans always have a warped idea how children actually are. Because they forget WE WERE kids. Whenever they see a little kid character who is slightly overbearing and overenergetic, yknow what a little kid IS, the fandom calls the character "annoying", "brat" etc. And god forbid if a teenage character was their point of contention

I remember watching Transformers Prime and I thought Miko was my fave out of the human teens the Autobots looked after. Yet Ive seen so many fans complaining she was a rude, impulsive, bratty bitch and found her excitable attitude around the Autobots "annoying" because how DARE a 14 year old acts stupid and is excited to hang out with giant robots.

And this stems to how cartoon fans view children who are fans as well. I was in the brony fandom and I noticed whenever the show introduced more characters or spin offs for the sake of toys, a lot of bronies groaned how its so "girly" and "not what the show is" aka anything remotely marketable and feminine whatsoever. And they got mad when kids loved it cos it reminded them they're watching a girl's show. They outright pilloried G3 fans for liking such a baby's show when Friendship is Magic is literally no different than g3 outside of more consistent characters and its funnier. Heck, even when G5 came along and there was a poll of who their fave main character was and Pipp, the most feminine of the group who was a social media savant, had the least votes. Whereas Izzy, the g5 Pinkie Pie, was at no. 1. (which goes to show how cartoon fanbases are extremely biased to wacky comic relief characters with quasi-neurodivergent traits) Also I was exposed to a lot of fucked up shit, the porn of this fandom was unfiltered and incredibly easy to access on youtube and google. (this was before youtube kids was a thing) This is the same fandom that brought us Cupcakes and Fallout Equestria and Rarity's New Designs. All from a show thats about horse puppies being friends. And as for the little kids who were surrounded by this content, no wonder they grew up traumatised. Cos bronies didnt give a single pissing shit about the children. Look up brony horror stories. You'll see why.

Cartoon fandoms have this preconceived notion to muscle children out of the picture as possible so they can feel more secure watching kids shows without their parents judging them. They hate being reminded that the stuff they watch IS FOR KIDS IN THE FIRST PLACE. But the problem is 75% of media out there is made for children in mind. Star Wars, Disney, Pixar movies, Dreamworks movies, Batman, Spiderman, Marvel, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Transformers etc.

As for the bad reboot angle, I always firmly believed the phrase "This X REBOOT RUINED MY CHILDHOOD" is always a defensive way of saying: "THIS CHILDRENS PROPERTY IS NOT IMMEDIATELY CATERING TO ME >:(" Like they treat a reboot like its an act of betrayal when its just a piece of media changing and evolving with the generations to appeal to the newer ones. If you want the same show you watched as a kid, just watch the original thing on youtube or collect dvds and merch of it. But if you want to watch this reboot, you've got to realise change is what reboots do and if you get mad at the small/big changes a reboot makes...

You're literally Patchy in this scene

As long as a show doesnt push racist/sexist/bigoted or any problematic themes in their faces, its fine. If the kids love it, the reboots done its job.

And as for the quality of children's entertainment, I dont really give a shit what soulless nursery rhyme collection or sanitised fluff kids watch. We all had our mindless fluff we watched as kids and we didnt get scarred for life because of it.

Just...leave the kids alone. Just act like adults and manage your shit carefully. Let the kids enjoy what they enjoy and for the love of god DONT GET SO FUCKING DEFENSIVE OVER LIKING A CARTOON AIMED AT BABIES. ITS ONLY WEIRD WHEN YOU MAKE IT WEIRD.

[bigfemboyenergy]

to anyone who looks at my posts, im not-so-secretly thanking you. so yeah. love you guys. just seeing that some people are looking at and maybe even enjoying my stuff means a lot to me, even if its the dumbest shit ive ever written outside of my original stories and..a drarry oneshot from forever ago…. (we do not speak of that)

super grateful for you guys. im pretty new, but ive even reached 100 “likes” or whatever the fuck theyre called on this platform. i feel very seen cause of yall. so..thanks a lot guys. if you have an qs just hit up my askbox thing or whatever, ill answer

[der-sonne]

For the prompts,

"I never ask for help because I'm not sure I know how."

For Tangled 👁👁💕

i’m just writing a drabble, she said, as she proceeded to write 1270 words. i’m she.

anyway you can go read this on ao3 or keep reading below!!

***

Before stealing the crown, Eugene had spent two months casing the palace. It was a slow process of finding the old blueprints, memorising the schedule of the guards, and even sneaking into a tour intended for visiting dignitaries. That is to say, if anyone knew how to successfully sneak around the castle, it would be him.

Of course, none of that planning ever accounted for the princess standing with her arms crossed in front of his room.

“Hey, Rapunzel,” he said, using his best and least suspicious smile.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you alright?” He tried to switch topics. “You look cold.”

It was true, in his defence. Now that he walked closer, he realised she was only in a thin nightgown, and she was shivering. He shrugged off his outermost coat without a second thought, draping it around her shoulders and tugging her into him.

She pushed back. “Are you wearing… five jackets?”

Oh, right. That’s why he was trying to go unnoticed. He stammered for a response while she removed the coat and inspected it. “Technically, two of these are shirts.”

“Eugene.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Can we get out of the hallway before someone sees, though? I can’t have any rumours circulating that my fashion sense is anything less than show-stopping.”

Rapunzel smiled, at least, which he took as a good sign. She had discarded his coat though, and as she tucked her legs under his quilt, he found himself shedding another layer to offer to her. It was still the end of summer, but the past few days had been wrought with thunderstorms and between this and his girlfriend’s habit of running through the rain, he was worried she’d catch a cold.

And she never did say if she was alright. It was just past midnight—by two minutes, judging from the sound of the night guard starting his rounds in the hallway—and Rapunzel had only ever shown up unannounced at his door like this after a nightmare.

He opened his mouth to ask again, but she beat him to the chase.

“You didn’t wear three jackets and two shirts just to give them to me, did you?”

“Ah, well. My wardrobe was looking a little thin, don’t you think?”

In fact, in the five weeks since being invited to live in the castle, he’d barely acquired enough clothes to survive between washes. It was still more than he’d ever had, but it felt pitiful beside Rapunzel’s never ending selection of gowns.

He had a reputation to uphold here, after all. And with the weather getting colder—well, he was running out of options.

“So you went shopping at midnight?” she asked.

He winced, but he’d already promised himself never to lie to her again. “Not exactly.”

Though he was too busy pacing a hole in the floor to bury himself in, Eugene could imagine the look she was giving him now. He only hoped there was loving concern behind it.

“I didn’t steal them!” he quickly explained. “They’d just been… left. Discarded, really. Unused and in need of a new home! It would’ve been a disservice not to take them with me. Cleaning up the town, is what I did.”

He snuck a glance at her, and sure enough, there was that frown. She took the second jacket off her shoulders, spreading it out over the bed.

“This belongs to someone, Eugene.”

“No, no, I made sure of that. Spent days asking if anyone had misplaced a coat, and got zip, nada, nothing. Trust me, there were plenty more I did return.”

Including a very snazzy woollen sweater that he’d been loath to part with.

Rapunzel held a hand out to him, ceasing his pacing at the very least. It just reminded him once again of how little she was wearing since she seemed determined to freeze, so he began doffing his third jacket for her.

“I don’t get it,” she said. “You could’ve bought more clothes.”

“With all the money I don’t have?”

“You could ask.”

“I could never ask for help,” he scoffed.

He was being harsh and he knew it, but it was a sore spot for him—for more than ten years he’d managed just fine without relying on anybody. Rapunzel looked up at him unimpressed.

Sighing, he sat beside her on the bed, and looked stubbornly at the wall. “I’m not sure I know how.”

She leaned into him, head falling on his shoulder as he automatically wound his arm around her. That was the one thing he could always count on her for, as hard as learning to trust another person was. But she understood him surprisingly well.

“Why don’t you practice?” she asked.

“Practice,” he echoed.

“Sure!” She scooted back to give him an encouraging smile, and he watched in dismay as the latest jacket slid off her shoulders. “Go ahead, try asking me now.”

It was absurd, and foolish, but so distinctly Rapunzel that he thought it just might work. What did he have to lose around her anyway?

He cleared his throat. “Alright. Uh, so the thing is, you see—no, wait, let me start again. This is harder than it looks actually. I was just asking, I mean, you know what I’m asking, really, so I don’t know how to—”

“Focus, Eugene.”

“Right, right. It’s just, well.” The words felt glued in his throat, and he felt like an idiot. “Help. You, I mean, me, I mean, would you… me.”

Rapunzel was nodding along, though, with one of the largest grins he’d ever seen on her face. Which was saying something. He really didn’t deserve her.

“You were so close! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, sunshine.”

Yeah, he definitely didn’t deserve that, but as she flung her arms around him, he found he didn’t mind in the slightest. She was soft and warm, squeezing the life out of him in the most pleasant way. Wait, warm?

He reached up to cup her cheeks, and placed an experimental kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, why were you waiting at my door in the first place?” he asked casually, as if a thousand alarm bells hadn’t started ringing in his head at once.

“Oh, you know.” She pulled away, and her guilty smile confirmed all of his suspicions immediately. “I just wanted the company.”

He shed off his final extra layer, a green shirt that was several sizes too large, even on him. This time, he guided her through the sleeves, and started buttoning the shirt at her chin. He could tell the moment she gave up her act, slouching into him with a grimace.

“I guess my head kind of hurts,” she said slowly.

“Uh huh.”

“…And my throat’s a little sore.”

“Sure.”

“But it’s nothing to worry—”

She sneezed, and at least had the decency to appear sorry. Not that he was mad at her in the slightest—only increasingly worried. Did she need more blankets? A glass of water? He should call the physician, right?

No, he had to calm down. It was just the beginning of a cold. What she needed now was some rest and someone to hold her. Or maybe that bit was for his sake.

Then it occurred to him. “Are you trying to ask for help?”

“Maybe.” She sniffed.

He slid in the final button, and tucked her more firmly against his chest. It was probably unwise to remain so close to someone sick, but he hadn’t exactly been making the smartest decisions lately.

At least he had someone to remind him why he tried.

[favoniuscodex]

lol yeah, new anon, this one is my third ask I've sent but i scrolled through your account for awhile and your writing is lovely, and the interactions tend to have immaculate vibes, so i figured I'd stick around lol-

but also- i just came up with the flower thing- and as with most things my head comes up with- it has spiraled- and i drove myself into brainrot as well- but also, feel free to delete this ask if you want cuz i can imagine having to respond to as many asks as you have could get easily overwhelming.

but the possibilities for this are so wonderful- (tho most of the ideas ive had are around Kaeya cuz while Diluc is soft af, Kaeya would probably be a lot more casual with it... also i realized Venti would probably know it too because y'kno- he was there)

. Kaeya just having the most insulting, passive aggressive flowers for whenever people try to hit on him at the tavern. Like someone thinking they actually have a chance with him a Kaeya just does that one coy look(he has many but- y'know) and hands the person a fucking butterfly weed and Diluc is just staring in second had embarrassment because the person doesn't even realize what it means and its just- sad to watch

. also imagine you're not yet dating Diluc so you make the mistake of going to Kaeya to ask for advise because 'hey, he knows flower stuff too' and then it'll have more meaning and stuff- but Kaeya just totally messes with it and in the end you're left with this arrangement that means just- the dumbest fucking shit . and you go to give it to Diluc and he just stares at it for a solid minute processing because 1) this is his crush 2) he's still processing the meaning 3) this has Kaeya written all over it and 4) he realizes how much thought you would have to have put into it to go this far- and he just doesn't know whether to explain to you what happened or just accept it and spare you any embarrassment or regret in the present

. OKAY BUT- my angst-loving ass can't-

. you know the "Mi muhe ye' means i love you in the language of the hilichurls" thing- there's no way it ended at that. And Venti probably can't talk outright about Khaenri'ah bc of Celestia stuff but just trying his best to apologize through his by now rusty knowledge of flowers only to receive further more (honestly probably justified) passive aggressive arrangements.

. also- can we take a moment to appreciate just how beautifully meaningful the arrangements by Crepus's grave would be.... not only because of the meanings of the flowers they placed for him, but also because there's no way these two would disturb Crepus's grave with brotherly quarrels and as a result it's one of the few, if not the only places, where they're able to communicate with each other without hostility- tho neither ever brings it up in person.

like please- there's literally so much stuff that could go down with these three possessing this knowledge and its wonderful

- Dad joke Diluc Anon

omg don’t apologize — brainrot asks are actually really easy 4 me to respond to! i don’t get a lot of them tbh and they’re my fave to interact w/ !!! also all of this is *chef’s kiss* mwah !!! amazing !!! ur brain is immaculate, nonnie ! i’m glad u wanna stick around, the blog is always open to new recurring anons haha.

additional response utc !

kaeya exchanging flowers for drinks at the tavern, but the flowers he gives out are all insults to the people annoying enough to want to try to buy his love with alcohol!

kaeya also giving you bad flower advice when you’re making a bouquet for diluc because 1. he sees it as an opportunity to mess with diluc and 2. jealousy perhaps?

if diluc gets the botched bouquet, he’d probably just plaster on his typical poker face and be like “this is great, thanks.” but then lecture kaeya about it later because you’re his crush and diluc doesn’t want kaeya messing that up by scaring you off by meddling

venti definitely knows the meaning of flowers. after all, he is the archon of a nation that pretty much has a spring holiday centered on flowers. his favorites are cecilias, but iirc he has ever native mondstadt flower somewhere on his outfit? or at least details reminiscent of them. however, if you expand past the realm of mondstadt’s flowers, he’s kind of at a loss.

kaeya doesn’t care for any of venti’s dumb apology flowers and just sends back the meanest flowers ever. even includes a little notecard with a >:( face drawn on it.

every year, diluc decides to smother his father’s grave in the most beautiful flower arrangements on the anniversary of his death. sure, he always ensures that a beautiful bouquet is there, but on the anniversary date, diluc ensures that there are even more flowers. he overlooks any flowers kaeya might have added as well, trying to ignore the subtle regret it instills within him. diluc tries his best to forget that he and kaeya were brothers, but the flowers make it hard. the flowers are a reminder that that day, they both lost their dad :(

[romancemoved]

9, 25!

✨ @debtwon. meme. still accepting!

9. Have you ever written fanfictions?

i don’t really enjoy even reading fanfiction. glfdjgldf. i love reading horrible fanfiction. i used to make a party out of in skype w. old buddies. so naturally i was never inclined to write fanfic.... i did write some final fantasy x fanfiction, but man i love the source material so much. i never enjoyed media to a point where i enjoyed fanfiction. i wrote a lengthy yuyu hakusho fanfic for a friend back in ye olde days of aol. i always just wanted to write my own stories and i did! and i still do. there’s just nothing interesting about fanfic to me zzzzzzzzzz unless its funny / bad and i can read it out loud to people and scream w. laughter.

25. One thing you’d like new roleplayers to know?

don’t feel pressured to follow these lame ass trends with aesthetics and formatting or whatever the fuck holy shit. just write. write. ive seen newbies get in a tizzy cuz their theme is plain or their posts arent fancy omggg who caaaaaresss. im about to ditch icons myself cuz im tired of this sh*t. if u have to get occupied with aesthetics, please keep them true to urself and ur skill level.

lord the times ill go to a blog with a container theme with a lot of blank links and lorem ipsum still in the tabs because the blog owner wasnt capable of utilizing the theme theyre using.

the f*ck

just write.

write anything. write the dumbest meta about how ur muse likes to eat cream cheese right out of the container and be proud of it.

[youlovemetoomuchsir]

ktown takeover

You're dumb girl has not been able to take her happy pills for like a week now, and to say the least things are not going the greatest for me. I haven’t written any of what has happened down, so while I wait to go to the gym I thought I would. 

First, I somehow like Kingston more than home which is not something I ever saw happening. I feel like I have this whole new life and im watching it from the outside, and I feel like nothing is real anymore. ive seen stuff like this on tik Tok and that it can happen sometimes when u smoke too much, but its really fucking weird. 

I also kinda sorta made out with both liam and josh since ive been here which has been kinda weird. the Liam thing is freaking me out the most though because like the night we hung out felt so intimate, and not just like a mistake. this is definitely just my perspective, but like it felt like a date. we cuddled, got food, watched movies and made out the whole time. he even fucking kissed me goodbye!!!!1 YOU DONT DO THAT WITH FRIENDS??? so now Rachel doesn't know what she is supposed to do or how she is supposed to act. 

I have also been feeling very shitty recently, def because of the medication lmao, but also because as usual, though this is not a bad thing, Kennedy’s love life is thriving, right now she has her summer fling and new school thing both wanting her. I am so happy for her obviously, she has been through a lot and is so loving so she deserves to be with someone that can make her happy its just that for me sitting here and seeing it all, it sometimes gets hard to be confident and love myself when no one wants me. but you see, as I read what I just wrote, WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED VALIDATION FROM A BOY TO LIKE MYSELFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!? that kind of shit makes me so mad when I see other girls feel the same thing, and its actually the DUMBEST thing on the planet, so im just trying to work on myself right now and keep boys and other distractions away in order to thrive by myself. honestly, relationships are pointless and just leave you heartbroken, so really what's the point. 

omg. I also like unfollowed Aidan on anything. I don't think my brain did it to see if I could get a reaction, or at least that's what im telling myself, but its just been really hard to get over him when I see him seeing my shit, cause he obviously doesn't post shit. I think this is the best thing for my mental health tbh. I don't wanna say I want to forget the whole summer and my time with him, because I did learn a shit ton about myself and relationships and all that shit, but I just wanna forget how he made me feel and how happy I felt when I was with him. I want to find that happiness in myself and I felt like I couldn't do that if I was obsessing over the fact he was seeing me live my life. I want to forget him, not the lessons I learned. 

that's all I really have for now, but wish me luck on this new adventure of self discovery, im sure it'll be so interesting 

[outlawnurse]

He Insists - Chapter V

A RDR2 Modern AU Written by: @ninja-nurse, Inspired by: @heart-of-gold-outlaw and with Special Thanks to: @ceruleanchillin @teumessianfox and @letsloveimagines

Warning: Language, Spoilers

Introduction | Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V

Caitlin startled awake, with a gasp, as a clap of thunder boomed overhead.

"You're alright, girl."  The gruff voice came, only half awake, from behind her.

She looked down at the arm across her, holding her.  She sighed, turning carefully under the blanket, nestling her head into the man's chest, as he pulled her closer, falling back to sleep.  She slowly drifted back to sleep herself, as the storm raged overhead.

*The Next Morning*

"Hey, you ok?"  Arthur asked, as his pulled his pants on, watching the woman dress herself. "I should go apologize to Sophia." He just looked at her. She smoothed the dress along her stomach, "I said some pretty mean things." He nodded. She walked over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders, as he sat on the bed to put his boots on, "Thank you for letting me stay with you last night." He smirked, putting his hands on her hips, "Thank you for staying with me last night." She leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips, before leaving his tent. The man grinned to himself.

The sun was barely up yet, as the woman walked across camp to her own tent.  She stood, looking at the closed flaps.

*The Previous Night*

"You know what?"  Sophia growled in the woman's face, "Do whatever you want!  I don't care!  Change the past.  Change the future." "Can you stop being a goddamn bitch for two seconds and listen to me?"  Caitlin snarled. "No.  I'm done listening to you!  You're delusional."   "If we weren't sent here to help them, why are we here?" "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't for you to sleep with a wanted criminal." "....and what were you doing out there with Micah?" "Nothing."  She said, "We just went for a walk." "He's not a good person!" "Neither is Arthur!" "Yes, he is!" "Fine."  She grabbed the blanket from Caitlin's bed, "You love Arthur so much, why don't you go spend the night in his tent with him." Caitlin grabbed the blanket, as Sophia threw it at her, "Why are you being like this?" "Because I'm worried about you!"  She admitted, "You've been on a downward spiral ever since dad died, and then mom...  I don't want something to happen to you." "Nothing is going to happen to me." "You were literally arrested three weeks ago for threatening to kill a federal agent.  If Hosea hadn't gotten you out of there, you would have been hung!  You're sleeping with a man who died a hundred and something years ago, who happens to be our great great grandparent's best friend, who you fell in love with because you read his journal and saw a pictures of him." Caitlin just looked at her, "I'm not sleeping with him.  That was the first time we..."  She sighed, "Why does it matter?  The only person who could possibly be hurt by this is me, and honestly, we're stuck here in the past, so why can't I be a little self-indulgent and have some fun with Arthur.  I deserve to be happy.  Arthur deserves to be happy.  He deserves to know that he's not a bad person and that someone loves him." Sophia gestured toward the closed tent flaps, "That man is falling for you.  What about his feelings when we leave?  He's going to be destroyed.  What about how John and Abigail are going to feel... and Jack?  It's not just about you." Caitlin looked at her, hugging her blanket tightly, upset, "What do you want me to do?" "I want you to lay low.  No more meddling.  No more telling them anything that happens.  No more protecting them.  No more outlaw cowboy sex." "Listen, I will do my best not to interfere with their lives, but I'm not ending things with Arthur.  I love him." "Fine, but if you can make the best of it with Arthur, why can't I make the best of it with Micah." "Literally anyone else but him, Sophia." "Why?"  She asked. "Where do I begin?"  She shook her head, "He's a fucking rat, Soph.  He is in cahoots with the Pinkertons.  He told them everything.  How do you think they knew about that ferry job in Blackwater?  How do you think they knew where to find us here?"  Caitlin grew increasingly irritated, "He's sexist.  He's racists.  He's disgusting.  Oh, and he fucking killed Arthur!"   "It's not like I'm going to marry him.  He's been a friend to me since we got here." "He's not your friend.  He just wants you to think that."  Caitlin shook her head, "He's a conman.  He spends his life trying to charm people so that he can fuck them over in one way or another." "Well, I like him." "Fine."  Caitlin shook her head, "Do whatever you want, but when he breaks your heart... or kills you... I'll tell you I told you so." "He's more likely to kill you with as often as you antagonize him." "Me?" "Yeah."  Sophia snapped, "You." "You know what... I'm done."  Caitlin turned to leave, "You're my sister, and I love you, but sometimes I hate you!" "The feeling is mutual."  Sophia snapped, as Caitlin stormed out of the tent.

*The Next Morning*

Caitlin took a deep breath before walking into the tent, "Soph?" There was no response. "Sophia, I want to talk to you."  She said, quietly.  She sighed, "Sophia, I know you're mad at me, and I get it, but will you please talk to me?  I don't want to fight with you."  She grew irritated, walking over to the bed, pulling back the covers, "Sophia, don't be such a ...  Oh."  She dropped the blanket on the empty bed.

John looked up from the fire, sipping at the coffee, as he watched the woman walk around the camp, peeking in every tent. "What's she doing?"  Arthur joined him, making his own coffee. "I'm not sure."  He said, continuing to watch her. "Hey," John called her over, somewhat quietly. She walked over to the men. "Why are you being weird?"  John asked her. "Have you seen Sophia?"  She asked. He shook his head, "Is she not still sleeping?" She shook her head, "I wanted to apologize to her for last night, but...  She wasn't in the tent." "Maybe she went for a walk." "Maybe."  She put her hands on her hips. "What?"  John asked her, noticing her face changing. "Micah!"  She growled, picking up her skirt. "No."  Arthur grabbed her arm. She looked up at him, surprised. "You need to stop antagonizing him." "Oh, I'm sorry."  She said, as he let her go, "Did I hurt your little friend's feelings?" "Cait," he said, softly, "I'd just as soon let you shoot him in the head."  He sighed, "However, I don't trust that he won't kill you if you keep pushing him." "You sound like Sophia."  She made a face at him. He returned the face, letting her arm go. "Dutch wouldn't let Micah hurt her."  John was suddenly worried for the girl. Caitlin scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Dutch..." They both looked at her. She looked at them, standing a little straighter, "I need to find Sophia." "Her horse is still here.  She can't've gone far."  Arthur shook his head, "I'm going to head out to hunt with Charles later this morning.  We'll keep an eye out for her." "Could you try to catch something besides a deer?"  She complained, "If I have to eat venison one more day..." "Of course, Princess."  He bowed to her, grinning, "Whatever Her Majesty desires." She smiled, slapping his arm, as he walked away, "You're not funny, Arthur Morgan." He smirked at her.

John looked back at the girl, "You really care about him, don't you?" "I really do, John." He sighed, "I suppose if there was anyone worthy of dating my family, it would be him." "Are you giving me your blessing, great great grandfather?" "Don't call me that."  He pushed her lightly. She smiled, "I mean, that's who you are!" He made a face, "Can't we just tell people that you're my... sister... or something?" She laughed. "Can I ask you a question?"  John looked at her again. "Of course." "How was it that you got Arthur's belongings and not his own family?" She looked at John, not wanting to answer, "Well..." "...because he doesn't have any." "I didn't say that." "You didn't have to."  He sighed, "I don't claim to be the smartest man, but I'm certainly not the dumbest." She sighed, "You can't say anything.  I've already ruined enough." "That secret is safe with me."  He nodded, "What happened yesterday with you and Sophia anyway?" Caitlin looked at him.

*The Previous Morning*

It had been two weeks since Arthur had left on a job, and Caitlin was becoming increasingly worried.  She did her best to hide it, but many of the others around camp had begun to notice.  Many of the girls around camp did their best to distract her.  Karen and Mary Beth even took to teaching the girl some tricks of the trade.

Mary Beth looked around, "Ok.  You've gotten pretty good.  This will be your last test." "If you do this we'll take you into town and you can try for real."  Karen grinned. Caitlin looked at the women. "Hosea." "No way."  Caitlin shook her head. "Fine."  Karen threw her hands up, "I guess you just really don't have it in you to be a real outlaw." Caitlin just looked at her, "Karen." "I bet Arthur would be proud of you."  Mary Beth tried to persuade her. Karen smiled. Caitlin looked at her skeptically, "Arthur would be proud that I learned to pickpocket?" Mary Beth shrugged, "He was always proud of me." "Fine."   The two women watched as Caitlin made her way over to where the man was seated at the table with Lenny.

*The Next Morning*

"Wait a minute," John interrupted the woman's story, "they taught you how to pickpocket?" "I mean," Caitlin shrugged. John rolled his eyes, "No, Cait.  You're better than that." "Am I?" He looked at her. "It's not like I'm going to start looting the citizen's of New Hanover."  She threw her arms up, "They only taught me to keep me busy." "Cait." "John, I will not become an outlaw." "Promise me!"  He growled, "I want better for my family.  I want better for Jack.  I want better for... you... and Sophia." "I promise, John.  I will not became an outlaw." "Good." He nodded, "Now, go ahead and finish your story." She nodded, "Where was I..."

*The Previous Morning*

Caitlin walked over to where the man sat, tripping on the ground.  She gasped, loudly, as she crumpled to the ground. "Caitlin!"  Hosea gasped, jumping up, "Are you ok?" "My ankle!"  She cried out, holding her leg. "What happened?" "I don't know.  I was just walking and rolled my ankle." "Oh, dear."  Hosea looked worried, "Can you stand on it?" "Help me up, won't you?"  

"The old damsel in distress routine."  Karen put her hands on her hips, "It works every time." "She's quite good at it, actually."  Mary Beth nodded, impressed. "Are they real tears?"  Karen leaned forward, squinting her eyes. "That girl has a dark side to her.  I can tell." "Well, she is a Marston."

"How's that?"  He asked, keeping his arm around her, as he helped her to the table, sitting her beside Lenny. "It's feeling a little better."  She made eye contact with Mary Beth, "I guess I just needed to walk it off." "Good."  Hosea nodded. "I should really get back to work before Miss Grimshaw finds me."  Caitlin stood, limping slightly. Lenny looked up at her, "You're sure you're ok?" She nodded, putting her hand on his shoulder, "I'll be ok.  Thank you." "Of course."  He nodded. Caitlin smiled at the two women, as she walked back to them.

"What did you get?"  Karen smiled. "I got a small money clip from Hosea, and for bonus points, a pocket watch from Lenny." "Oooh!"  Mary Beth grinned. "That was too easy!"  Caitlin chuckled. "Cait."  Karen's face looked suddenly serious. "Thank you for teaching me." Mary Beth turned around, her smile fading. "It was so exciting!  I never imagined being an..." "Miss Marston!"  The man's voice boomed. She froze, turning around slowly, "Mr. Matthews." "Did I or did I not recently save your life?" "You did."  She nodded. "...and you thought it appropriate to thank me by picking my pocket?" "N-no, Sir."  She handed him back the money clip. He gestured toward Lenny, seeing the watch in her hand. She lowered her head, walking over to the man, still reading at the table, "Lenny, I'm sorry I pickpocket you." He pat his pocket quickly, before taking back the watch, "That was... impressive.  I had no idea!" She half smiled, "I wasn't going to keep it." "I know you wouldn't do that."  Lenny smiled at her. "Now," Hosea point at the woman, "I'm very impressed, but don't ever do that again." "Yes, Sir."  She felt her face blush, embarrassed. "We have rules here in camp.  We don't rob each other.  We don't shoot each other.  We respect one another." "Yes, Sir." He put his hand on her cheek, "That being said, I am proud of you.  You learned very quick." "Thank you."  She grinned.

*Later that Evening*

Abigail sat beside the woman, as she sat on the edge of the steep cliff, "I hear that you're quite a pickpocket." "It was just for fun."  She shook her head, chuckling, "I would never actually do it." She smiled, but it faded, "Are you ok, honey?” She nodded. "Your eyes look sad."  She looked at her, “Are you worried about Arthur?” “I know he’s more than capable of taking care of himself, but,” she shook her head, “he’s been gone for a really long time.” “He’s probably fine.”  Abigail assured her. Caitlin nodded. “There was nothing in his journal about bad things happening around now, was there?  You didn’t try to stop him when he left.” “There wasn’t… before I got involved.” Abigail looked at her, “You really care for him, don’t you?” “I never meant for this to happen.” “Have you two…” “No.”  Caitlin shook her head, “He’s kissed me a couple times though.” She looked at her. Caitlin smiled, looking at her, “Arthur Morgan is one of the most intimidating people I’ve ever met.  Within five minutes of meeting he had a gun in my face, ready to shoot me.  He’s a thief and a murderer, but he's also… a gentleman.  He’s kind.  He’s considerate.  Did you know that he brings me a flower almost every morning.  He’s low key romantic and super awkward about it, and it’s adorable.” Abigail smiled. “His hands are strong and rough and calloused, but when he holds your hand, he’s so gentle… like he’s holding glass and he’s afraid of breaking it.” “He’s a good man.” Caitlin sighed, “I’m guessing you didn’t come over here to talk to me about Arthur Morgan though.” “No.”  She shook her heard, “John wanted to give you some space, but Grimshaw thinks you’re a bit too uppity.” “I’m sorry.” “It’s fine.  You're worried about the man you love.”  Abigail laid her head on the girl’s shoulder, holding her hand in her own, “I still love you.” Caitlin rest her head on Abigail’s, “I love you too, Abs.” "Why don’t you go for a walk?  We could use some more herbs for dinner.” Caitlin nodded. “The whole gang has agreed that the food has tasted much better since you girl’s got here.” She smiled, "I do what I can for the greater good." Abigail chuckled.

The longer Caitlin was alone with her thoughts the more emotional she got.  She wiped the tears from her eyes, as she picked the flowers, putting them into her satchel.  She wanted to believe the man was fine, but feared the worst.  She hated how overwhelmed she felt by this whole thing.  As much as she'd been through in her entire life, the last two months had been the most stressful of all.  Worst off she hated not knowing when this would all be taken from her.

Sophia looked up as the man rode into camp, “Mr. Morgan.” He looked at her, not used to her giving him attention, “Miss Marston.” “You look a little worse for the wear. Are you ok?” He nodded. “Are you hurt?” He looked down at himself, “The blood isn’t mine.” She didn’t want to know the details, “That's good, but I'm guessing that black eye and split lip are though." He lowered his head. She sighed, "Why don't you go clean yourself up?  Get a bath.  Get changed.  Leave those dirty clothes on your bed.  I'll wash them for you." "Thank you." "Caitlin will be happy to see you.”  Sophia nodded. “I know you don’t like me, but I do care about you, Sophia.  You’re John’s kin, and that makes you family.” “I like you Arthur.  I just don’t agree with your lifestyle.”  She looked at him, “I am genuinely glad that you’re back and that you’re ok.” “That’s fair.”  He nodded, “Thanks.” “I also don’t want to see my sister get hurt when she ends up home, alone, and you’ve been dead for over a hundred years.” He took a breath, nodding, “I promise you that her leaving won’t be any easier for me.  I adore that girl.  I wake up every morning thankful that I get one more day with her, but I know this is just temporary.” Sophia just watched him walk away.

Caitlin sighed, unable to fit anything else in her satchel.  She turned to start her walk back to camp, as she held the flower in her hand.   “Look at you going out of camp all on your lonesome and not trying to shoot anyone.  I’m proud of you, darlin’.” She froze, looking at the man, “Arthur.” “Hi.”  He grinned at her. She dropped her belongings, running to him, jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backward with a thud. He laughed, coughing, as she knocked the wind out of him, “What’s gotten into you, girl?” “I missed you.”  She peppered his freshly shaven face with kisses. He held her hips firmly against himself, as her lips settled on his.  He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other arm reaching up her back, his hand holding the back of her neck.  In one quick motion, the man flipped her over so that he was on top of her.   Their kiss was broken, as they looked at each other with a longing that neither of them fully understood. Her eyes searched his.  She touched his face gently, her finger tips barely touching the bruising around his left eye, "Does it hurt?" "No." "Does this?"  She gently touched his lip. "No."  He smiled, enjoying her fussing over him.  He leaned down, kissing her again, this time more passionately. She moaned silently, as she felt his arousal pressed against her. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. “I was afraid I would never see you again.”  She spoke barely above a whisper, tilting her head back, as he kissed her neck. He stopped, looking at her, putting his hand on her face, his thumb brushing her bottom lip, “I promise I will always come home to you.” “Arthur…” She said, breathy. His hand moved down her chest, caressing her breast, “Tell me what you want.” “I want you.” “Are you sure?”  He asked, moving his hands under her skirt, as she unbuckled his belt, nodding. “Please…” She begged him, desperately excited.

*At Camp*

“Miss Marston.”  Micah looked at the girl, “you look worried.” Sophia looked at the man, "I'm just tired." "Is everything ok?"  He sat on the edge of the table, as she sat reading a book. She closed the book, sighing, "I'm just thinking about home, and... I don't know... I guess I'm wondering if I'll ever see it again." "I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Would you like to... go for a walk?"  Micah offered. "I don't know." He looked at her. "You know what?"  Sophia stood up, "Yes, I will go for a walk with you."

"Why are you so interested in me all of a sudden?"  Sophia asked the man, as they walked, her arm linked through his. "You're a pretty girl, but you seem sad these days." "I just want to go home." "It must be hard for you being so alone here." "I'm not alone."  She shook her head, "I have Cait." "Do you?" "What do you mean?" "I mean no offence."  He shrugged, "It's just that... Caitlin is the only person you truly know here, and she's left you to chase old Arthur Morgan." "It's not like that." "Isn't it?" She looked at him. "She's devoted her time here to making his life better, but what about the rest of us." Sophia didn't say anything. "Why doesn't she try to save me?" She looked at him. "She's selfish that's why.  She wants to save him for her own reasons." "I wouldn't say that."  Sophia wasn't sure she liked where the conversation was headed, "She's doing the best she can.  She knows the fate of all of you, and she's trying not to get too involved, but she also wants the best for all of you." "...and I want the best for you girls as well.  I mean, after all, you're John's family.  That makes you my family too.  I just want Caitlin to do the right thing." "We don't even know what the right thing is." "Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing at all." Sophia sighed.

The two stopped, suddenly, hearing a noise. Micah put his hand on his gun, but left it holstered.

***

"Arthur!"  The woman gasped out. He put his hand over her mouth, "Shhh!" She breathed heavily, as he took his hand away, kissing her to keep her quiet, as she reached her climax.

"Well, well, well," Micah folded his arms, as he stood with Sophia, "what do we have here?"

The two jumped at the sound of Micah's voice. Caitlin covered herself, as Arthur quickly grabbed his gun from beside him. "Relax, Cowpoke."  Micah laughed, "It's just me." "Shoot him."  Caitlin grumbled, putting her shirt on. Arthur looked at her, shielding her from Micah's view, as he zippered up his pants, "What are you doing out here?" "I would ask you the same thing, but I think I knew the answer."  Micah grinned. Caitlin looked away from the two. Micah clucked his tongue, "You are a selfish little one, aren't you?" Caitlin glared at the man. "Your sister is struggling, frustrated, scared.... and you're out here having sex... with Arthur Morgan." "You know what,"  Caitlin raised her hand, only to have Arthur stood between the two, "No!" She looked at him, her eyes flashing with rage, before turning back to Micah, "Fuck you, Micah, you dirty snake!  You may have pulled the wool over Sophia's eyes, but I know who you are." "That's enough."  Arthur growled. "The one fucking thing I asked you not to do."  Sophia hissed. "Same!"  Caitlin gestured toward Micah. "I think we need to have a little talk." "Agreed."  Caitlin furrowed her brow.

*The Next Morning*

John looked at the woman, "You... were... with...  Arthur?" "I don't need a lecture, John."   He put his hands up, "I wasn't going to." She rolled her eyes. "Listen, I know you're upset, but..." "Good morning, Jailbird."  The voice interrupted them. "Stop calling me that!"  Caitlin demanded, "Where's my sister, Micah?" "I didn't know it was my turn to keep an eye on her." She clenched her jaw, "So help me God, if you did anything to hurt her." Micah looked at John, "Now, why would you assume that I hurt her?" "Because that's what you do.  You hurt..." "Stop."  John stood between the two. "You're upset."  Micah nodded, "I can see that.  I'll leave you alone." Caitlin glared at the man as he walked away. "You'll have to tell me one day why you hate him so much."  John pushed her toward his tent, "Abigail." She looked up, as she sipped at her coffee. "I'm taking the girl out to look for her sister." She nodded, "I'm sure you will find her." "I imagine we will."  He agreed.

***

John and Caitlin had no luck finding the woman, nor did Arthur and Charles while they were on their hunting trip.  As the day went on, Caitlin grew increasingly concerned.

"Dutch!" He looked at her, as she marched over. "Dutch, we have to do something." He nodded, "I'll tell you what.  We'll go to Valentine, and see if we can't find her there." "She wouldn't just wonder off." "You did."  He chuckled. "Right, but I'm an idiot.  She's the rational one." He chuckled, "Alright, dear.  Don't worry."  He raised a hand, "Arthur, John, let's go!" "Where are we going?"  Arthur asked. "Valentine."  He said, "We're going to see if the other Marston sister managed to get herself in as much trouble as this one did." "That's not funny."  Caitlin looked tearful. "We'll find her."  Arthur put a hand on her cheek, before going to tack up his horse. John hugged her, "It'll be ok, Cait." She nodded, watching the three men prepare to leave.

*Valentine, New Hanover*

The two men sat down at the table at the small saloon just off the main strip, as they waited for John. "Caitlin's not going to be happy." "I imagine not."  Dutch sighed, "You don't think... something could have happened to her?" "Like what?"  He didn't want to think about it. "Like...  O'Driscolls... or... Pinkertons..." "I hope not."

"Dutch Van der Linde!"  An angry man's voice called from outside. Arthur and Dutch looked at each other. "Dutch Van der Linde!"  He called again, "I think I've got something of yours out here!" He sighed. "I don't want no trouble."  The bartender said. "Nor do we, my friend."  Dutch nodded toward him, "Nor do we."

"John."  Arthur muttered under his breath, as he saw the man being held with a gun to his head. "You took something of mine, Mr. Van der Linde." "I assure you, Sir.  I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." The man chuckled, "Pardon me.  I've gotten ahead of myself." Arthur's hand hovered over his gun. "My name is Leviticus Cornwall."  He stood tall, "You robbed my train, you killed my men, and you stole my money." "Ah!"  Dutch snickered, "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you." "I want my money back, Mr. Van der Linde." "Well, that's the thing, Mr. Cornwall."   He put his hands up, chuckling, "You see, I don't have it." "That's a shame."  Leviticus gestured, "I don't suppose anyone is going to miss this degenerate, but I'll be taking his life.  Thank you."

Before the man holding John knew what hit him, he fell dead to the ground at Arthur's hand. John rushed to cover, drawing his weapons, as gunfire erupted around them. "This is the exact opposite of laying low."  Arthur hissed, as he ducked beside the man. John shook his head.

*Horseshoe Overlook, New Hanover*

"Miss Grimshaw, Mr. Pearson," Dutch called out with urgency, "lets get camp packed up!" "What's going on, Dutch?"  Susan asked. "We had some trouble with Cornwall and his men in town.  We've got to move." "Where?"  She asked. Dutch retreated to his tent, only to return a few minutes later with a map, "Arthur, Charles, take this map.  I want you to go scout out some camps for us.  I've marked a few good spots." Charles took the map, "Ok." "No!"  Caitlin made her way over, "We can't go!  We can't leave Sophia!" "We can't stay."  Dutch said. "We'll find her."  Arthur said, "Right now we need to leave." "I'm going back out to look for her."  She stormed off. "No, you're not!"  Arthur grabbed her arm tightly, "You're not going anywhere.  I told you we would find her, and we will, but right this minute, we have to move.  Now, go pack your shit." His sudden anger startled her, "Maybe I just won't go!  I'm not the one that's wanted!  No one has a clue who I am.  I don't need to do a damn thing except find my sister." "Fine!"  He rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up, "Get yourself arrested again!  Worse...  Let Cornwall's men kill you.  See if I ca..." "Arthur!"  Abigail scolded him. He looked at Caitlin, softening, "I'm sorry.  I don't want you to stay behind.  I'm worried about Sophia too.  Just...  Please, just... go pack your things.  I swear to you that I will help you find your sister." Caitlin glared at him, before walking away. "You don't scare me."  He called after her. "Doesn't she?"  Charles looked at him. "A little."  He nodded. Charles smirked, "Come on."

Charles sighed, "After we got back from hunting today, I spent the better part of the day trying to track down Miss Marston." Arthur looked at him. "There's no sign of her.  It's almost as if she just... disappeared." "You think she was sent back to her time?" Charles shrugged, "I don't know what I believe anymore.  I do know that Caitlin isn't going to give up looking for her." "She is a Marston."  Arthur said, "What if she just took off?" "Where?"  Charles asked him. He shrugged. "You're still mad about John?" "No one else would have been welcomed back with open arms if they abandoned this family." "You don't think Dutch would have done the same for you?" "I never would have left." "Fair." "Although, I guess I have to be honest...  He's grown up a little bit since Sophia and Caitlin got here." "I agree." Arthur just sighed, as the men rode to their destination.

***

Caitlin packed her things, angrily, though she didn't have much. "He didn't mean it."  Abigail said. "It's fine." "He's worried about Sophia too.  He just doesn't always know how to... express himself.  Arthur's not...  Well, I mean, Arthur doesn't do emotions well." "Abi, it's fine."  She said, "If it's all the same to you.  I'd like a few minutes." Abigail looked at her, "You know where to find me." "I do.  Thank you."  She sighed, looking up, as the woman parted the tent flaps, "I love you." "What?" "You're my...  You're my family.  I just... I just need you and John to know that I love you." "What are you planning, Caitlin Marston?"  Abigail frowned. "Nothing."  She shook her head. "You're so much like John...  You have no idea.  He gets the same way when he's..." "I'm not going to do anything, Abi.  I'm not going anywhere.  I just..."  She sat on the bed, tearful, "What if we never find Sophia?  What if she's dead?" "Oh, Caitie." "What if the last thing I ever said to my sister was 'I hate you'." "She knows that wasn't true." "All we did since we got here was fight.  I was so worried about trying to give everyone a better life, and she was terrified.  I wasn't here for her."  She sighed, "Maybe Micah was right...  I have been selfish." "First of all," Abigail walked over, hugging the girl, "that's ridiculous.  Micah is never right, and I should disown you for saying so.  Second of all, you are both stressed and scared.  You got tossed into this world with a bunch of wanted outlaws.  I can't even imagine how different your world must be.  You both said things you didn't mean.  Sophia knows you love her.  We'll find her." Caitlin sighed, still hugging the woman.

*Clemens Point, Scarlett Meadows, Lemoyne - Late That Night*

After setting up camp, the group was exhausted.  It had been a very event filled day between Sophia's disappearance and the sudden move.  It was well into the wee hours of the morning when the group finally got to bed.

Caitlin cried into her pillow, unable to sleep.  She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes, as she sat up.  The air was thick and sticky with humidity.  She peeked out the tent, looking towards Arthur's tent.  She crept toward him silently. The man was sprawled on his cot, his arm covering his face, as he slept.

She knelt beside the bed, whispering, "Arthur?" He didn't move. "Arthur!" "Huh?"  He jumped up, "What's wrong?" "Shh."  She put a hand on his chest. "Caitie, what's wrong?" "Can I lay with you?"  She whimpered. "Of course."  He moved over, as she got onto his bed. She cuddled up beside him, facing him. He put his arm around her, holding her tightly, as he rested his chin on the top of her head, "Are you ok?" "I'm sorry I got mad at you, Arthur." "Aww, it's alright darlin'.  You're just worried about your sister.  It's fine." She sighed, "It's not fine.  I couldn't live with myself if the last thing I did was be mean to you, and..." "Hey," he held her face in his hands, looking at her, "we're ok." "I miss her." "I know you do.  I promise you, I will do everything I can to find her." She nodded,"The last thing I said to her was that I hated her." "Now, I think she knows that isn't true.  We all know how much you loved her.  You've done nothing but protect her from the minute you got here." She cried. He pulled her close to himself. She buried her face in his chest. "I promise you, we won't give up until we find your sister."  He reassured her again.

To Be Continued.........

[liquifiedstars]

8

my sleep schedules been terrible ever since quaratine started :[ i sleep at like 4 am or 11 am, no in between....... idk its just super inconsistent... its 4:23 am rn for me

i dont know what to rant about i wish i could talk to someone but i only really talk to my bf and i dont really have anyone on rn.... anyway im just gonna talk about random stuff haha

im reallt embarrassed rn actually i have been since like 8 pm last nighrbbecause one of my teachers posted an assignment linked to a survey and also a response question thing and i answered both. i didnt know we were supposed to just fill out the form... so there was me writing a genuine, well-written response on whatever they survey was asking for and everyone just put . or random shit for their answers and i was like. H... BECUASE YOU CAN SEE YOUR OTHER CLASSMATES RESPONSES AND I JUST. BDNFJDJSLS YOU CANT DELETE IT CRYS

but these are times where im just like. Hey! Uro! theres no need to be embarrased about that....., but likw. ah idk i just get super duper anxious over the dumbest things and i hate it sm :( i know its not my fault, thats just how my brain works but i just hnnng..,

anyway drawing plans...! i wanna make a new sona; preferably one that doesnt have to be. Me. LMAOOO ever since i started drawing, ive always made personas, and ive never done anything fun... like its just...literally a meet the artist and das all.... no ocs and shit its just that shit and wholeass bunch of fanart ahaha

i wanna try coming up with some fun designs, i should totally try to go to my old dA accounts and my oldass toyhouse to see if i can get any designs :] and maybe redesign them?? hehee

i also wanna draw more yn(fg) stuff ofc!!! prolly sabitsuki and more urotsuki :] mmmmmmmm and tf2 man yaaaaaa and redraw old ass stuff hehe or fanart of other peoples chars!

im not sure what else to talk about, it's 4:33 am im just gonna either stay awake until like 11 am lol or hopefully fall aslepe before that time ok byebyeeeee

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

10 Followers: Oh Boy O h  B o y

I uh. Guess this is where I gotta start doing celebratory things.

.

yep

SO YEAh, I don’t know how to do these big “Follower [insert word i really cant think of right now here] celebration.” To be honest, a lotta these things feel forced. And I’m not gonna drop on my knees and be like “you guys made me who i am today” because obviously thats such an exaggeration. So I guess I’ll just say

Thanks for reading my blog. It’s kinda fun knowing that people like reading what I have to say on this stuff, and definitely kinda keeps me motivated to continue making more *said the guy who takes week long breaks between posts sometimes*

Anyways. I don’t know if this warrants celebration or not, but FUDGE IT. FUDGE IT RIGHT TO HECC.

YOU KNOW WHAT? TAKE MY CELEBRATION. DO IT. TAKE ALL THE CELEBRATION I HAVE TO OFFER.

NO

FUCK THAT

THATS NOT ENOUGH

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

IM NOT SOME DEMIGOD ARTIST CREATOR 

I ANALYZE SHIT

AND

I GUESS SOMETIMES MAKE MUSIC BUT IM KINDA PUTTING THAT ON HOLD RIGHT NOW

ILL ANALYZE 

ANALYZE ALL THE SHITS

ILL ANALYZE YOU

ILL ANALYZE HOW WEIRD IT IS THAT YOU GUYS LIKE READING SOME PANDA ASSHOLE GUSH OVER HIS FAVORITE CHARACTERS

FUCK

FUCK YOU

TAKE MY MONEY

ILL TAKE YOUR LIVES AND FILL THEM WITH CLEAR RATIONED ANALYSIS 

NO

NO

NO WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT

I DONT KNOW TAKE SOME BALLOONS

YEAH

YEAH

YOU LIKE THAT

YOU LIKE BALLOONS?

WELL GUESS WHAT

im tired.

really tired

god my sleeping schedules been so outta whack lately, and right now my mood literally changes at the snap of a goddamn finger

like

ready?

WATCH this

SNAp now im in a new mood

like

fucking whatever

im gonna upload this even though this is the dumbest post ive ever written

and um

yeah

celebration time i guess

im gonna go ahead and pump out as many posts as I can before I pass out from exhaustion. Unless you guys want something else?

Yeah. If anybody cares enough about celebrations, there’s probably a way to suggest things to me on this site.

anyways, imma gO get started

SEE 

YA

LATER

ALL

A

GATOR

[ciathyzareposts]

The Black Gate Bonus: The Books of Britannia

One of many in-game books that make in-jokes and build lore.

         I’d have to look through my notes to see what game first offered full-text books–not as plot devices but just as random background flavor and world-building. It might have been Ultima VI. But even if they appeared in earlier games, Ultima VII is the first game to treat them this extensively, with at least a couple of dozen different titles found on desks, nightstands, and bookcases throughout the homes and workplaces of the Britannian people. The castle alone had more than 15 different books.

     Ultima VII admittedly doesn’t do as well with its books as many later titles. Many of them are goofy, or simply analogues of real-world titles, and not the world-building tomes that we find in, say, The Elder Scrolls series, the Infinity Engine games, or The Witcher series. Still, they’re fun and deserve some additional attention and analysis.

I thought I’d use this entry to organize that analysis, adding new books as I find them. I’m excluding some “plot” books that don’t have much text (like Morfin’s register of venom sales). I’ll add notes to future entries when this one has been updated. The books I’ve found so far are:   The Apothecary’s Desk Reference by Fetoau. A book that accurately describes which potions have which effects. Very useful.

The Art of the Field Dressing by Creston, with a forward by Lady Leigh. It has some advice about cutting cloth into strips to bandage wounds, something that actually works in the game. While Lady Leigh is later found in the game, I don’t believe Creston is.

The Bioparaphysics of the Healing Arts by Lady Leigh. The bible for in-game healers. I believe Lady Leigh will be found later in Serpent’s Hold.

The Book of the Fellowship by Batlin of Britain. The first page of the game manual–the one time it makes sense for a real-life book to appear in the game.

Chicken Raising by Daheness Gon. A relatively useless instruction manual for raising chickens and producing eggs. The anatomical advice seems accurate, but I’m not sure how it helps in-game. Found on the shelf of a farmhouse, which makes sense.

Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang by Ian Fleming. The real-life 1964 book by the author better known for creating James Bond. Lead Ultima VII writer Raymond Benson later went on to become the official James Bond writer from 1997-2002.            

With a couple of syllabic substitutions, this could easily have been a James Bond title.

          Collected Plays by Raymundo. An anthology of plays by the guy who runs the theater in Britain. Play titles include Three on a Codpiece, The Trials of the Avatar, The Plagiarist, Clue, and Thumbs Down. “Raymundo” is the in-game avatar of lead writer Raymond Benson, and at least three of these plays are real plays written by Benson. Clue is a 1977 musical based on the board game–a full 8 years before the Tim Curry film. The Plagiarist and Thumbs Down are more obscure; I’m not sure when or if they were ever staged, but they were published as short stories by Amazon Shorts in 2006. Three on a Codpiece is described in-game as a performance art piece in which audience members “tear an undergarment into tiny pieces, after which they are placed in funeral urns and mixed with wheat paste . . . then the audience may glue the pieces anywhere on [the actor’s] body that they wish.” One Ultima site suggests this might be a reference to Yoko Ono’s Cut Piece (1965).

A Complete Guide to Britannian Minerals, Precious, and Semi-Precious Stones by B. Ledbetter. The book discusses some of Britannia’s natural resources, including veins of gold and lead. It is notable for a paragraph on blackrock, a “recently discovered” substance with little practical use, rumored to have a “profound effect” on magic. This will of course become a major part of the game’s plot. I don’t believe Ledbetter appears in-game. I thought it would be funny if it was the guy who runs the jewelry shop in Britain, but his name is Sean.

The Day It Didn’t Work by R. Allen G. A collection of essays about “overseeing a group of well-meaning misfits in a mechanical environment.” An obvious joke about Richard Allen Garriott and the staff at ORIGIN.                Everything an Avatar Should Know about Sex. This book is blank after the title page. Ho-ho-ho. Or maybe it’s not a joke and it’s foreshadowing the upcoming unicorn encounter.

            The Honorable Hound inn register. The guest list for this Trinsic inn has four recent names: Walter of Britain, Jaffe of Yew, Jaana, and Atans of Serpent’s Hold. Jaana is of course the Avatar’s companion going back to Ultima IV. I don’t believe the others are ever seen or heard from in the series.

How to Conquer the World in Three Easy Steps by Maximillian the Amazingly Mean. The ravings of a “megalomaniac cleric.” He plans to acquire VAS CORP (“Mass Kill”), which he thinks will make everyone fear him, and that not even Lord British himself is immune. I’m pretty sure that Lord British survives a VAS CORP (which is a real spell). Lord British doesn’t even die from VAS CORP IN BET MANI (“Armageddon”). Also, there are no “clerics” in this setting. As an aside, I wonder if employees of Vascorp Network Solutions know that to a portion of the public, their name means “Mass Death.”

Hubert’s Hair-Raising Adventure by Bill Peet. A real 1969 children’s book by a real author. It tells in rhyme how the proud lion Hubert had his mane scorched in a series of escalating misadventures. We learned about its presence in Britannia in Ultima VI, where Lord British spent every night reading it to Sherry the Mouse. I don’t know which idea is worse: that the adolescent Lord British was carrying the book while hiking through the English countryside, or that he later went back for it.              

It’s good that Lord British has priorities.

            Jesse’s Book of Performance Art by Jesse. A “controversial and eccentric Britannian actor” who has published a book of “scripts” for performance artists and argues that performance art is basically the same thing as acting. Jesse is an NPC in Britain who jokes about playing the Avatar and having only three lines: NAME, JOB, and BYE.

Key to the Black Gate. A cluebook to the game, found within the game (but without any of the actual text). Probably meant as a subtle in-game advertisement. Can you imagine needing a cluebook to solve this game?             

A crummy commercial?!

             Lord British: The Biography of Britannia’s Longtime Ruler by K. Bannos. The biography frankly acknowledges that Lord British is from another world. I wasn’t sure that was public knowledge until now. He entered Britannia through a moongate and became one of the rulers of the eight kingdoms of Sosaria. The people proclaimed them the king after he successfully dealt with Mondain, Minax, and Exodus. The book recounts his role in Ultima IV and Ultima V but ends just as the gargoyles become a threat in Ultima VI. Unfortunately, the text also re-affirms the idea that the Avatar is the same hero as the one who defeated Mondain, Minax, and Exodus–the dumbest retcon ORIGIN ever introduced.,           

Part of Lord British’s bio. A party of Fuzzies defeated Exodus and nobody can convince me otherwise.

              Mempto Rays: A Qualitative Study in Metaparaphilosophical Radiation by Mempto. Some rantings about Britannia always being bombarded by radiation “lethal to all non-living matter.” Probably meant as a send-up of pseudo-science in the modern world.

No One Leaves by R. Allen G. This sequel to The Day It Didn’t Work is a humorously-phrased paragraph about missed deadlines and forced overtime.

No Way to Jump by Desmonth. A treatise on tropes found in adventure stories. This is probably another in-joke about game development. After all, Ultima VII, for all its realism, does not allow the Avatar to jump. The issue continues into the present day and is found on TV Tropes as “The Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence.” Note that Ultima VIII does feature jumping and jumping puzzles.

On Acting by Laurence Olivier. Philosophical notes on acting “written by a noted thespian of a distant land.” The text notes that it was apparently “one of the many brought to Britannia by Lord British.” Why was the kid hiking with half a library on his back? Anyway, Sir Laurence did in fact publish a book of this title in 1986.

Play Directing: Analysis, Communication, and Style by Francis Hodge. A “respected textbook” written by “an eminent professor emeritus from a university in a distant land.” It is in fact a real-world book, published in 1971 by a professor at the University of Texas at Austin. Probably someone that Raymond Benson or someone on the staff at ORIGIN (which was based in Austin) knew. Hodge passed away in 2008.

The Salty Dog inn register. This inn and tavern in Paws lists seven recent visitors: Addom of Yew, The Avatar, Jalal of Britain, Tim of Yew, Blorn of Vesper, Sir Dupre, and Penelope of Cove. Addom is a traveling merchant who later shows up in Moonglow and plays a role in that city’s plot. To my knowledge, Jalal and Penelope never appear in the game, although I think Jalal appears in another register. Tim of Yew is also an unknown (there was a bard named Tim in Ultima V but he’d be long-dead). Blorn is an anti-Gargish racist who we later find in Vesper. The idea that Dupre recently visited a tavern is entirely within his character. The most disturbing entry is that someone is wandering around passing himself off as “The Avatar.”

Thou Art What Thee Eats by Fordras. A nutritional analysis that pre-dates the Atkins crazy by suggesting meats and vegetables ahead of carbohydrates. The author recommends certain foods in order, and I think it roughly corresponds with how filling those foods are in-game. 

The Transitive Vampire by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. This is a real book by a real author, originally published in 1984. As best I can tell, it’s a real book about English grammar and syntax, but all the examples are vampire-themed and there are vampire illustrations. If there’s something deeper going on, someone’s going to have to tell me. I suppose if it actually gets people to read a book on grammar, there are no bad ideas.             

Go figure.

           Tren I, II, III, IV . . . XVII. An autobiography by “the obtuse mage” which “reveals Tren’s life in all of his incarnations as he continually strove to possess more powerful beings.” As far as I know, we never meet a mage called Tren, nor do we ever see an application of magic that involves possession of beings. 

Up Is Out by Goodefellow. A treatise on gravity and mass, including “falling apples.” It’s a clear analogue to Isaac Newton, but I otherwise don’t know if the title and author are a reference to anything. If Goodefellow is an actual Britannian trying to research physics, his life is going to be rough.

Vargaz’s Stories of Legend. This anonymous book is subtitled Reasons Why One Should Never Build Doors Facing North or West. The book has two stories, one about a plague of locusts foretold by Father Antos (Ultima II and IV) which destroyed houses with north-facing doors. The other tale suggests that monsters fleeing sunlight are more likely to flee east and thus invade houses with west-facing doors.

The Wayfarer’s Inn register. This tavern in Britain lists five recent guests: John-Paul of Serpent’s Hold, Horffe of Serpent’s Hold, Featherbank of Moonglow, Tarvis of Buccaneer’s Den, and Shamino. I later found Shamino shacking up with an actress, so he probably only had to stay for one night. I don’t believe Tarvis or Featherbank appear in the game, but John-Paul is in fact the ruler of Serpent’s Hold and Horffe is his Gargish captain of the guard.

What a Fool Believes by P. Nolan. The book only has a brief paragraph, describing it as “the story of a bard, a blonde, and a bottle . . . a classic tale of the war between the sexes.” There’s a song of this name, of course, recorded by the Doobie Brothers and Aretha Franklin among others, but it doesn’t mention a blonde or a bottle and has no association with anyone named “Nolan” (although, in a weird twist, the R&B artist Nolan Porter did cover the song, but not until 2011). 

The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum. The real book from the real world, except that in the real world, the author is L. Frank Baum. It is given a quick summary in-game. I assume it’s in Lord British’s castle because I stole it for him as part of an Ultima VI side-quest.

         source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/the-black-gate-bonus-the-books-of-britannia/