#this is the worst thing to ever happen to me

[erinaeris]

Laios Touden and the Responsibility of Power

First off, let me gush just a bit about how fucking STRONK this man is. Olympic weightlifters are dying of sheer envy and lust over this man. He is a FUCKING POWERHOUSE.

My favorite panels ever, and judging by the cropping of the second photo, Tumblr agrees.

AHEM, where was I?

Ah yes. He's not just strong and incredibly hot, my man is literally an invasive species in this dungeon. He knows every single weak spot of every monster Thistle tried to throw at him and when he finds it he just fucking RAMS HIMSELF AT THEM AND TAKES THEM DOWN.

And when he's a dwarf HE LITERALLY BENDS STEEL.

"Beat Namari at arm wrestling"? My boy, she wouldn't let you anywhere near because you'd FUCKING BREAK HER HER HAND ALONG WITH THE TABLE. (It's such a fucking shame we didn't see Senshi at least raising an (perfectly plucked except it just grows that way naturally) eyebrow in the background when he sees this. Alas, he was too distracted by his hair.)

But I mentioned responsibility, didn't I? Strength is power in the dungeon, and we all knows what comes with great power. And Laios is, in fact, very responsible with that power!

(Futther examples under the cut, wee bit spoilers for anime watchers)

This scene lives rent-free in my head forever, because of two things: Thistle suddenly realizing just what the hell he's up against,

And Laios breaking Thistle's arm.

Now, I think Laios didn't mean to actually break his arm here, he's just half-blind and dizzy and knows he has to restrain Thistle or it will all go to shit. So that's what he does. The move you see above is a restraining hold. The point is that the person pinned down can't struggle much because the position of the arm presses the suprascapular nerve, so it hurts a lot, but unless they're held that way for too long they'll be fine.

But Thistle is TINY and elves are generally fine-boned. I think Laios really did just underestimate his strength.

And the moment the dragons aren't an IMMEDIATE THREAT anymore?

Laios heals him. Thistle's a better mage than him by miles, he could have done it himself. But no. Laios does it. He was too rough, too careless with his strength, and he immediately backtracked, fixed what he broke, and continued with more mindfullness.

And these are just the examples that stuck in my mind the most. And it happens often enough that the team isn't even fucking surprised! Laios' strength would 100% scare people who only saw him in a barfight and didn't know anything else about him. Hell, the other adventurers they meet fucking quiver before this guy who just took down a monster they had nightmares about in one blow, up until he opens his mouth and they relax. You put more malevolent software in that sort of hardware and he'd be the next Shadow Governor.

But Laios is Laios. He's a gentle soul at heart (a Great Pyrenese, specifically, the gentlest souls ever unless you're out for their flock) and he is VERY CAREFUL with his strength, ESPECIALLY around his team. Chilchuck, who is literally half his size and underfed to boot, can smack Laios as much as he wants with ZERO fear because Laios is aware he can hurt Chilchuck by literally tripping over him, so he just stays still and lets Chilchuck smack at him. I'd be surprised if he ever managed to leave a bruise. Chilchuck has to aim at Laios' weak spot (back of the knee here) just to get Laios to notice him!

But because I have some experience with marital arts and close combat, I think the fight with Shuro exemplifies my point so fucking well! Laios is HURT here, he's living every autistic person's worst nightmare.

And he HOLDS BACK. His restraint is fucking IMMACULATE.

Shuro is fucking lucky Laios still liked him when he started talking shit, because he would have broken his spine otherwise. Laios doesn't even take the fight seriously! He starts with a fucking SLAP.

Shuro retaliates with an actual punch (that does nothing but piss him off)

Laios wobbles. Shuro HITS THE DIRT.

And this is the part where he realizes just how outside his weight category he is. Shuro definitely has technique on his side, but that means jackshit when you need ten blows to to even bruise your opponent, but one hit from them will leave you drinking through a straw for a week. For a second there, Shuro thought he was in ACTUAL DANGER.

But instead of finishing the job, Laios tries to talk him down, which just sets him off again. Man was at his fucking LIMIT, and it snapped. Self-preservation who?

And the best part is? Shuro is throwing all his strength behind his punches and Laios just takes them, but Laios? He mostly pushed Shuro around!

They're mostly grappling here, precisely because Laios is very conscious his friend is pretty fragile right now.

And when he does have enough?

Shuro is flat on the ground again, and Laios has a black eye and a bloody nose. He sits down and five minutes later he's ready to go! Like yes, Shuro was at a low point here, but he's been mowing through monsters at only a bit slower pace than Laios' party. He's no weakling regardless. And Laios had to HOLD BACK SO HE WOULDN'T HURT HIM. And it's so obvious that Maizuru takes one look at the two of them and leaves them to their toussling.

When I saw her reaction I had to scroll back and take another look, because I was sure she would intervene! But she doesn't! She is aware of Laios' strength, she has to be, and she doesn't lift a finger to help her precious charge. She knows the big dog he's wrestling with knows to watch his strength.

And that's my whole point: my boi is STRONK AF! And he is very aware of his strength, and how he could hurt the people around him is he wasn't careful, so he is ALWAYS CAREFUL. He has deeply internalized the fact that to have strength is to be careful with it, to use it in service of people rather than to hurt them (possibly from his dad). He is going to SUCH a good king! He's not going to like the job but by GOD he will do it really well.

And I will give my right arm to see a fic about the first corrupt lord/governor/courtier who attempts to misuse their authority for their own gain. Kabru's gonna have to talk Laios out of an execution.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Me or him (part 2)

pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader x felix

a/n: this is part 2, read part 1 here! there will be more parts, tho idk if anyone waited for this but if you enjoyed it, please consider reblogging!🫶🏻

word count: 1.9k

genre: smut, angst

warning/s: toxic behavior, cheating, manipulation, unprotected sex, dirty talk

~check out my: Masterlist

8 months ago

Tears blurred your vision as you sat behind the wheel. You started the car, wiping your tears away, the last song you listened to blasting through the speaker.

You had a huge fight with your boyfriend Hyunjin, the worst one that happened between you in the last two years you'd been dating. You have no idea how it started, it was a culmination of little things and you were both so busy to work on them that you just exploded at each other.

Things were said, things you didn't mean and you had to just leave the apartment and give Hyunjin and yourself some space to calm down before you said even worse things to each other that couldn't be reversed.

You hit the gas and drove to the first place you thought of, your mutual friend's apartment.

When Felix opened the door and took in the state of you, wearing your pjs, hair messy and mascara streaks stained on your cheeks, he hugged you without a word.

You ended up on his couch, crying and telling him what happened as he held you and shushed you, trying to calm you down. He did feel bad that you were in distress, and he felt bad for Hyunjin too, but he couldn't help himself. Thinking that this was his chance, a chance to somehow come between the two of you. Prove to you that he was deserving of you, maybe even more than Hyunjin was.

You knew Felix liked you, he confessed to you once before but it was already too late as you and Hyunjin just started dating but haven't announced it to him or anyone else for that matter. You saw how his smile faltered and how his eyes lost the sparkle they always carried when you told him. Even though he said he was happy for the both of you, you could see through the fake smile he put on his face. Neither of you ever told Hyunjin about his confession.

Felix wiped your tears away with his thumbs gently before he leaned in and started peppering your face with little kisses. You sniffled and hiccuped, completely lost in your crying that you didn't even feel him press his lips on yours for a few seconds.

"Felix!"- you said pushing him away when you realized what he was doing.

"What Hyunjin said to you was out of line. I would never say things like that to you. You know how I feel about you."

"Felix, stop it."- you shake your head, heart beating fast as you try to catch your breath. Everything was too overwhelming tonight.

"Let me show you that I appreciate you more than he does."- Felix says and grabs your face, kissing you again.

"W-we can't do this..."- you whimper, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes.

"We can do whatever we want, sweetheart. Give me just one chance to prove myself to you."- he whispers sweetly, hands under your shirt, caressing your hot skin.

"L-Lix..."- you whimper as his lips attach to your neck. 'You're crazy' - you think. You can't believe you're actually letting this happen. Felix is kissing you, his lips on yours again, hungrier and messier than before.

His hands are roaming all over your soft skin and he cups your breasts and plays with your nipples. You gasp and he pushes his tongue in your mouth, suffocating the moans in the back of your throat.

You feel arousal between your legs, in the pit of your stomach mixed with an uneasy feeling of doing something you definitely shouldn't be doing. One big fight and you ran into another man's arms. How weak are you?

You part for air and Felix's eyes are dark with lust, making you shiver under him.

"You want me, don't you?"- he smirks.

"This is wrong, Felix."- you say, but your body screams for him, your hips lifting up towards him involuntarily, chasing some kind of friction.

"I don't care about wrong or right in this moment."- he shakes his head, his hand on your cheek. "Tell me you don't want this right now and I'll stop... but if you do, there's no going back."

You shiver at his words, driven by some kind of desire and insanity you grab Felix's shirt and pull him into another passionate kiss. He grunts into your mouth, his hands sliding down to your pants. He wastes no time in sliding them down your legs together with your panties, throwing them somewhere behind him.

"Fuck, so pretty."- he whines, taking in the sight of you with legs spread out for him.

"Lix"- you moan, crazed with hunger for him.

"I'll take care of you, don't worry love."- he smirks, leaning down, his breath ghosting over your wet cunt. His plump lips leave kisses on your inner thighs, hands squeezing your flesh, and you sigh impatiently.

"I can smell your arousal from here. So sweet."- he licks his lips, smirking and leaning his cheek on your inner thigh.

"Please, Lix!"- you whine, trying to push your hips up but he holds you tight.

"Tell me what you want love. I'll do anything to please you."- he says, his voice dipping lower, sending shivers through you.

"I want your mouth, please."- you beg.

"You ask so nicely."- he smirks and leans in, his lips attaching to your clit immediately, sucking on the sensitive nub.

"Ah, f-fuck!"- you moan and his tongue darts out to lick between your folds.

You find yourself comparing him to Hyunjin, and your heart skips a beat. Your sweet Hyunjin, who has no idea you have his best friend between your legs, eating you out like no tomorrow.

Even though you had a horrible fight, you know he loves you more than anything. And you love him too, so why are you doing this?

Felix brings you back to the present when you feel his fingers pushing inside your wetness.

"Oh my god!"- you whimper, hips coming up to meet his hand.

"So eager."- Felix says, his deep low voice sending shivers through you.

The faster he moves his fingers, the more Hyunjin keeps fading somewhere in the back of your mind.

You try not to think about anything, only focusing on the feeling Felix brings you, and the euphoria builds up.

"Are you gonna cum, sweetheart?"- he asks.

"Mm, yes, so close!"- you whine. "Don't stop!"

"Wasn't planning on stopping."- he smirks, curling his fingers and touching your sweet spot.

"Fuck!"- you whine, your legs shaking before you spill your juices all over Felix's fingers. He pulls them out of your went cunt and puts them in his mouth, sucking on them.

"Mm, so sweet."- he looks at you darkly. "I want you so bad."- he adds, pulling his pants and boxers down.

"How do you want me?"- you ask.

"I want you on top of me, beautiful."- Felix smirks, pumping his cock and hovering over you.

"Okay."- you sit up and Felix lays down so you can climb on top of him.

You grab his cock, touching your folds with his tip, your eyes already rolling back.

"Take me in deep, sweetheart."- Felix groans as you slowly start sinking down on his length.

The stretch is perfect as you take him in completely, your walls clenching around him making him groan.

"Move baby, please."- he practically begs.

You start fucking on him, wasting no time as you speed up immediately, feeling hungry for him in that moment like you've never been fucked before.

His hands are on your hips, guiding you and holding you down so you don't lift up too much.

He groans as he looks up at you, your fucked out face, your titties bouncing and the way his cock disappears inside you.

"Yeah, just like that. Fuck yourself on my cock baby. Make yourself feel good. Use me."- Felix groans, hips pushing up to meet yours.

"Ahh fuck, Felix!"- you whimper as the both of you start losing control, fucking each other like there's no tomorrow.

It doesn't take long for you to cum all over his cock, the way he kept perfectly hitting your sweet spot.

"I'm close, sweetheart."- Felix groans.

"You can't come inside me."- you groan, still trying to come down from your orgasm.

"Okay, whatever you want."- he whines, his hips chasing you.

You pull off of him and grab his cock, jerking him off fast and Felix whimpers, his hands grabbing at the couch beneath him, hips pushing up into your hand.

With a final groan mixed with your name and curse words, he cums all over your hand and his stomach.

Both of you sit there for a moment, trying to catch your breath.

"What the hell did we just do?"- you ask, coming down from the high and panicking.

"We fucked. And it was really good."- Felix smirks, lifting up and grabbing some tissues from the coffee table so he can clean himself up.

"This is wrong on so many levels. If Hyunjin ever finds out-"

"Hyunjin doesn't have to know anything. As far as he's concerned you're at a friend's place."- Felix shrugs. "I wont tell him anything unless you want me too. I don't wanna put you in a position like that."

"You kinda already did."- you say, too shocked of your behaviour that you couldn't even cry.

"I'm sorry."- he starts. "Actually, I'm not. I loved you first. Hyunjin didn't even care about you that way when we first met."

"Stop talking! You don't love me, Felix. You love the idea of stealing me away from Hyunjin."

"That is not true-"

"I'm not having this discussion right now. I'm gonna take a shower and then leave."

"Stay the night, please. Just this once."- Felix begs, grabbing your hand.

And you stayed the night. And you found yourself running into his arms multiple times after that, whenever you were sad or whenever you and Hyunjin got into an argument.

You know how wrong that is and that you should be working on your relationship, not going behind your partner's back but something about Felix always being there for you, listening to your problems and fucking your sadness away made you addicted to that feeling.

-

Present time

You had to drive around the empty roads to empty your mind before finally arriving home around 2 in the morning. The apartment was quiet and dark, meaning that Hyunjin already went to sleep.

You tiptoed to your room and opened the door, finding your boyfriend hugging your pillow and sleeping on your side.

Your chest feels heavy.

You walk slowly towards the dresser to grab some clean underwear so you can take a shower and Hyunjin stirs.

"Love, are you back?"- he asks sleepily.

"Yeah. I'm gonna shower, keep sleeping."- you say quietly, grabbing your clothes.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."- you say, your chest becoming heavier and heavier, the feeling of guilt overwhelming you.

Tears prick at your eyes.

"I'm glad. Come cuddle when you're done."- Hyunjin whispers, his eyes still closed.

"Ofcourse."- you whisper back and disappear into the bathroom.

You break down under the shower, hot tears streaming down your cheeks as the hot water warms your skin.

But you can't wash away the feeling of Felix's lips and hands on you.

They're burned into your skin. And you wonder how much longer can you do this?

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @janepg

[thesweetnessofspring]

Do you subscribe to the theory that Katniss had a crush on Peeta before the games (but she wasn’t aware of it obviously) or do you think that she only kept track of him through the years because he saved her from starvation and was thankful?

I really love all your opinions, you really do make me see things from a different perspective sometimes and are also very sweet . Thank you so much 😊

Girl I subscribe to "Katniss was crushing on Peeta from the dandelion scene moving forward." I mean

Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that's when I saw it. The first dandelion of the year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hourse spent in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to survive. To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away. Maybe if I had thanked him at some point, I'd be feeling less conflicted now. I thought about it a couple of times, but the opportunity never seemed to present itself.

So first, our how-do-I-do-feelings Katniss is saying she's "embarrassed" about making eye contact with the cute boy who just saved her life. Do you know what a crush is? Embarrassing. Like omg it is the WORST thing especially when your crush is the most amazing person. Other people have shown Katniss kindness, even kindness that is nearly impossible to repay, like when Madge gave her the mockingjay pin and Finnick restarted Peeta's heart, but she doesn't feel embarrassed by it. Flustered and confused, yes, as well as resentful at times, but not embarrassed. So why is she embarrassed after catching Peeta's eye? Because she has her first crush right after being traumatized and thrust into a parentified role so she can't be a normal kid about it. And Katniss thought about thanking Peeta but didn't because the "opportunity never seemed to present itself" just sounds like a teenager avoiding talking to their crush. "Oh no, sorry, I didn't talk to him because things weren't lined up exactly perfectly for that to happen" is exactly what having a crush as a teenager is for us introverted people.

And I mean, come on. She associates hope and her very survival to Peeta?? At this point we've moved past first crushes into soulmate territory. She "can't shake the connection." This girl is a survivor, she hates vulnerability because it seems to be a weakness, and if it were just a crush she would talk herself out of it within a day. She logics her way out of finding Finnick attractive and running off with Gale into the woods. But Peeta is lodged in there before they even know each other. They have that red string of fate tied around their fingers and they cannot escape it.

Also thank you so much, I'm glad you like my little Everlark analyses! I really love talking about them, the best fictional couple ever created (I say with my whole chest and absolutely no exaggeration).

[remedyturtles]

Hi! You totally don’t have to answer this but I was rereading Death Wish again today for like the sixth time and I had a thought.

After everything is said and done and they’ve lived a nice long life together, does Sensei get to see his Donnie again? Does Leo get to meet the family he’s seen so much of in Sensei’s memories?

Sorry if that’s an annoying question. It was just kind of a sad thought I was having.

i'll answer this in kind of a roundabout way -- sensei's story was always meant to be about grief. more specifically to me, it was meant to be a realistic representation of grief. there is ABSOLUTELY a place in the world for the fix-it stories where donnie shows up in a blaze of glory and they are reunited and everything is awesome. that is the ultimate wish fulfillment and i love it.

but i wanted something for those who can't fix it, who have to live with pain and think that they'd give anything just to have them back, just to be reunited, just one more time.

i wanted to write a story that said, this is the worst thing that will ever happen to you, you have to live with this pain and there is no fix-it, but you will live through it anyway.

would they be reunited in death? i have no idea, neither does sensei, so he will just have to live on as there's no way to answer that question.

but i really, really, really hope so.

[spacerockfloater]

hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!

Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!

If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.

Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?

Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.

For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.

It’s all just marketing

That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.

Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.

The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.

Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.

All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.

[planetception]

The Morning After - Caitlin Clark Headcannons

18+ Content mdni

Warnings: smut but only in like little flashbacks, suggestiveness, mentions of past sexual experiences, mentions of nudity, caitlin being an absolute sweetheart

A/N: probably the most freakiest thing i've written, except for that caitlin fic that will be out soon. um yeah as always enjoy

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༊*·˚ ok so like imagine waking up right next to her the morning after you two had sex for the first time

༊*·˚ she has her arms wrapped around you tightly and the only thing you can hear is the sound of her soft breathing and light snoring

༊*·˚ the feeling of her body pressed against yours gives you flashbacks from the night before

she's hovering over you, necklace dangling right in your face as she carefully strips each article of clothing off of your body. her hazel eyes stare right into yours as her hands roam all around your naked body-

༊*·˚ you get brought out of your day dream to caitlin grabbing your chin and pulling you up to a kiss

༊*·˚ i can imagine her asking you with a sexy raspy morning voice that makes you wanna do it again, "whatcha thinkin' about pretty girl?" your face would heat up as you smack her on the shoulder

༊*·˚ she's such a cutie pulling you back to cuddle into her chest, kissing your head as you again get pulled into last nights sexual activity

you two had just gotten back from another successful date, however the entire time caitlin was brushing her foot against your leg as you two sat at the fancy restaurant. once entering her apartment, she pounced on you like a dog in heat. she kissed you heavily as she led you to her bedroom before laying your body on her bed, she's on top of you. "cait? i think im ready. take me please?" you pleaded with her as she pulled off her suit jacket and unbuttoned her shirt-

༊*·˚ "mmm thinkin' bout last night aren't you?" she would ask in that raspy voice as you blushed again

༊*·˚ sure you had sex before, but it was different with caitlin. she took her time with you, praised you like a princess and made you feel things you've never felt before

༊*·˚ as your face was pressed into her chest, you breathed in the leftover scent of her cologne that she wore last night and the essence of the night before

༊*·˚ her hands would roam around your unclothed body as you laid on her chest

༊*·˚ she would observe every mark she made on your body, and she would feel the light burn of the scratch marks on her back from you as she remembered when you dug your nails into her back as she touched you so right

༊*·˚ now it was caitlin's turn to remember the events of last night, there was just something about you that made her feel like she was on a cloud

༊*·˚ after a long time of staying in bed just cuddling and talking to each other as your guy's hands play with each other. you two decide to get up and go take a shower

༊*·˚ you two would unwillingly separate from each other as she goes to the bathroom to turn on the shower

༊*·˚ as she was turning on the shower, you stood at the bathroom sink and stared at each mark caitlin left on you

༊*·˚ she would come up behind you as she held you from the back as she placed light feathery kisses on your neck with her hands roaming around your body and touching each mark she left on you

༊*·˚ she would smirk as your head flies back onto her shoulder

༊*·˚ you two eventually get into the shower to rinse of last night's activity

༊*·˚ this certainly won't be the last time this will happen and you two were extremely excited after finally having sex for the first time

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dear god that may have been the worst thing i've ever written....... um but enjoy this. as always my inbox is open for requests and just to talk. saturn out!

[yunyunrin]

Prologue: Holy Fool

Genre : Horror, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Enemies to Lovers, Alternate Universe

Pairing : ot8!demonateez x angel!reader (future chapters) (gender neutral reader)

Warnings : Mentions of the following: abandonment, sexual assault, harassment, murder, alcoholism, abuse. Side character death, slight descriptions of drowning. Main character death (Reader, but you come back to life don’t worry)

WC — around 2.3K

A/N — please read at your own discretion!!!! the prologue contains so so many heavy topics so please read the warnings!

A/N 2 — thank you so much for the love on the original masterpost! it gives me a lot of motivation to write this and bring my idea into fruition! feel free to send an ask if you have any suggestions or would like to be tagged! if you’re leaving suggestions please be kind! i have experience in writing but it has been a while since i’ve written a story like this. thank you so much and i hope you all enjoy <3 i can’t wait to show you all what i have in mind for this story!

The ache in your feet from standing for the past twelve hours is slowly being replaced by the harsh cold air hitting your body as you speed walk back to your shared apartment with your best friend Dina. You will likely regret that when you get back to your apartment, but currently, you just want to get out of the dark city.

Your apartment isn’t in the safest part of Seoul, but it is what you and your friend could afford. You went straight to work, something you often regret. Now that you’re the age you would have graduated with your bachelors had you went to university, you know it is too late. You chose your fate, and now you just have to live your life.

You’re back before you know it, your daydreaming seemingly making your days go by faster than they should be. Furthermore, you fumble with your keys due to the chilliness that has now settled in with the night. You walk in to your apartment, the eerie feeling settling in.

“Dina,” You say with your regular voice, hoping that your cheery best friend would walk in from her room. She never appears, so you call her name again, louder with a sense of urgency.

“Dina,” Again, your friend gives no answer. You walk to her door, it is cracked but not enough for you to see fully into her room.

You knock on her door a couple of times, holding the door knob, so your knocking wouldn’t fully open the door. “Dina, if you don’t do anything that indicates you are here, I’m going to come in.”

You slowly open the door, your eyes widening at the scene in front of you. Your friend is laying on the ground, pale, with her mouth ajar. Like something had sucked the soul out of her.

You rush to her immediately, holding her head in your lap as her name falls out of your lips with an urgency. You’re feeling for a pulse around her wrist, to which there is none. “Dina, please wake up,”

You pick up your phone to call the emergency services, your pleas from earlier having fell on deaf ears. Thinking to yourself, this is one of the worst things that has ever happened to you.

“Hello, this is Jenny with the emergency services, what is going on?” The voice of the women on the other end of the line seems to wake you up out of the sort of trance you have been in for the past couple of minutes. “Hello?” She says again, waiting for you to speak.

“Hi, yes. I need you to come to this address. I just got home from work to my roommate passed away on the floor. I checked for a pulse, she didn’t have one. I need you to send emergency personnel as soon as possible.” You say, in all but one breath, your impending panic attack is settling in.

“Are there any signs of an intruder? I’m sending someone over now.” The lady on the other end of the line says to you.

“No, there isn’t.” You respond back to her, your voice becoming faint.

“Stay there, the medical responders will be there in 15 minutes.” The lady says to you, asking you other questions that you can’t register in your mind.

“I’m sorry. This is the last thing that I can handle. I will leave the door closed, but unlocked. I’m leaving.” You say to the lady before hanging up the phone, not giving her the chance to convince you to stay. A lot of the times you were easily gullible, this is one of the times you don’t need to be.

“Goodbye Dina, I love you. Thank you for everything, also I’m going to take your keys for a little while.” You say to your friend before putting a pillow under her head and leaving the apartment to go to the parking garage, with Dina’s keys in hand.

You start up the car, a peer is about twelve minutes away according to the GPS. The first responders will be too worried to think about you when your dead friend is why they are there.

It is pretty late, so no one should be on the peer, you think to yourself. Putting a plan in action for something you have wanted to do ever since you were twelve years old.

You begin to drive, going where the GPS takes you. You have come to realize that you have heavy feet, getting to the beach where the peer is located in eight minutes instead of twelve.

You hesitate to put your foot on the gas pedal, having put the car in park. Not only that, but you get a surge of flashbacks from your early life.

You’re walking home from school, as you make your way to your driveway you notice something strange. Your mother’s car is not parked there, and she definitely should be home by now.

You walk into your home to see the whole house a mess, and your oldest sister, who was freshly eighteen, laying on the floor with your dad on top of her, with his hands around her throat. Immediately you run over and pull your father off her, knowing that if you were just a minute later you would have been too late. As the hands of your father leave your sister Mimi’s throat, you see the life that was just exiting her reenter her body.

“The bitch left.” Your father mutters before walking off, the smell of alcohol is permanent on his breath. You look at your sister with desperation in your eyes. You didn’t want to believe that your mother had left you both with your monster of a father. Mimi nods at you, confirming your fear. Your mother left you with a monster.

The rest of that night is spent staying in your room to escape the wrath of your father. You didn’t eat that night, you were lucky that your room was connected to Mimi’s by a bathroom so you didn’t have to wait to use it. Your sister had kept her side locked, you craved her company at that time. You were scared out of your mind, but you understood.

You then woke up to more things breaking, you walk out to see that your father had just exited your sister’s room. Walking into her room and you see no sign of your sister. Drawers opened, ransacked closet, piggy banks emptied and an open window. Your sister left during the night, likely when the alcohol had finally put your father to sleep.

Not wanting to be subjected to your fathers' wrath, you run out of the house and go straight to school. No fear in mind of being scolded due to your lack of a uniform, no fear in mind of being made fun of for your messy hair or bad breath because you skipped brushing your teeth that morning. The only thing you feared at that moment was your drunk and angry father.

Every day since your sister and mother had essentially abandoned the home, your life was hell on earth. He was drunk and if he wasn’t drunk, he was at work; if he wasn’t at work he was drunk.

You had gotten into a routine, you knew your father’s schedule. You’d make sure he was fed, you’d eat a little yourself, and then go to your room to do anything else you needed to do.

Ever since that day, the house has been cleaned and reorganized. You tried to make it as similar as it was before. Something about it just eased your mind, hoping that you’d wake up from your nightmare. That you’d wake up twelve years old, with your mother and sister still in the house.

That was never the case. You catch yourself more often than not finding solace in your sister’s room. You used to go into your mother and father’s room. That room had been abandoned since she left.

You had come to regret doing that, though. One night your father had woken up while you were laying down on her side of the bed, trying to feel close to her.

The alcohol had not worn off his system, and that night, at that moment you had realized you had grown into the looks of your mother. No matter how much you begged, no matter how many times you screamed that you weren’t her, no matter how many times your name left your lips in a hope to snap your father out of his trance, it never worked.

For years, it went on like that, as you got older you found ways to get out of your house so you couldn’t be near him. Faking your age so you could get overnight shifts then going to school the next morning, barely sleeping, but it was better than being home with him.

You have seen many things since working at a convenience store in a bad part of town, you’ve seen people get harassed, you’ve seen car accidents, you’ve seen people get stabbed.

Occasionally, you wonder to yourself if it is bad that you’d rather watch them go through that than go home.

You had grown to resent your whole family during that time for different reasons. You resented your sister for leaving you alone, your mother for not taking you and Mimi with her. Both of them for not trying to contact you. Your father for hurting you in ways no father should.

All of that you had bottled up once you turned eighteen. The only light in your life had been Dina. She kept you afloat. Made sure you finished school, she’d do your homework to make sure you’d pass classes. She’d bring you food because you often forgot to eat.

Dina didn’t have the best life growing up either, you had come to find out. She would regularly stay with you during your shifts at the convenience store, and you can’t count on your hands how many times you and her would sleep in her car so you both could escape everything.

Perhaps that is why Dina and you had bonded so closely. You knew what each other went through and you had never judged each other.

When you and Dina turned eighteen, you both moved away and got jobs. You found a roomy apartment that was cheap. Sure, it was in a bad part of town and not the prettiest, but it was the apartment you shared since the day you both abandoned your previous lives.

Nothing about it had changed until today. You have gone through the worst things imaginable, but never without Dina. You can’t fathom living without her. So now you are here. In her car at the beach, about to drive through a peer.

You put the car into drive, your foot still on the break. “If I don’t floor it now, I am never going to get the courage to do it again.” You say to yourself.

During your flashbacks, tears had started falling down your face and your nose had begun to run. You wiped your eyes and your nose with your sleeves and floored the gas pedal.

No one was on the peer and if they were, they had moved to the side. Everything happened instantly. The sound of the wood of the peer breaking on the car as you went through the peer was enough to bust your eardrums. The impact of falling into the water was enough to break every bone in your body.

You had passed out on the impact, only waking up once you tasted the salty water of the sea enter your mouth. You’re struggling for air, but you know that in a couple of seconds there will be no space to try to breathe that last bit of oxygen anyway.

A light with a golden aura shines beside you, but the rising water level has caused you not to care. Your last thought was wondering why the hell you drove off a peer when you are so afraid of big bodies of water. You guess it is because there is no escape.

You feel something like entering your mouth that is not water but quickly that feeling is replaced with the salty water from the ocean. At that moment everything goes still. Death must have taken you now.

It feels a bit weird. Not being able to move, and you can’t open your eyes but in a odd way you can breathe. Death feels so peaceful at this moment. Although, you can hear and that seems to be the only sense that you still have.

There is rustling next to you, and then humming. It sounds similar to that of a lullaby. After a couple of minutes, the humming stops.

“Y/n, you aren’t dead.” A soft voice says to you. You want so badly to open your eyes and look at whoever just said that to you, in your mind thinking that there is no way you are alive right now.

As if whatever told you that you weren’t dead could read your thoughts it says something that eases your mind a bit, “Just rest for right now, everything will be explained later.”

You never liked being in the unknown, so this comforted you. Whatever — or whoever was with you is holding you and rubbing circles on your arms. You slowly drift into sleep, wondering if death was playing tricks on you.

tags

@multifictionx @pre1ttyies

[dee-writes-smut]

CLEMATISES (Chapter Seven)

FEATURING Eris Vanserra x pregnant!reader

SUMMARY Eris processes new revelations while in a secluded cabin, when he finally makes his choice he ends up running into his father and learning the truth about what happened after he left.

CONTENT WARNINGS murder, death, angst, betrayal, Beron being a douche as per usual, Lucien being fucking oblivious, sad Eris, mentions of labor, just some more depressing shit as always.

AUTHORS NOTE sorry for the shorter chapter, this is just bringing everything together and setting up for the main event! That's right, I'm making you wait to know if they're going to be okay, sue me. :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

The cold wind of the Autumn Court’s forests bit at Eris’s skin, his cloak barely providing warmth against the relentless chill. He had left the palace in a whirlwind of anger and hurt, unable to face the reality of your betrayal. Each step he took away from the life he had begun to build with you was like a knife twisting deeper into his heart.

He found refuge in a secluded cabin, a place he had discovered years ago during one of his countless escapes from his father's tyranny. The cabin was nestled deep within the forest, surrounded by ancient trees whose branches intertwined above, creating a canopy that seemed to shield him from the rest of the world. It was here that he sought solace, attempting to mend the fractures in his heart.

Eris spent his days hunting and foraging, his skills as a warrior and a survivor keeping him alive. The physical exertion was a welcome distraction, a way to channel his rage and despair into something tangible. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the memories of you. The way your eyes sparkled with life, the warmth of your touch, the sound of your laughter—it all haunted him relentlessly.

Nights were the worst. In the stillness, his mind would wander back to the moments you had shared. He remembered the first time you had laughed at one of his jokes, the soft sound of your breathing as you slept beside him, the way you looked at him with such trust and affection. Those memories were a torment, a reminder of what he had lost and the betrayal that had shattered his heart.

One night, as he sat by the fire, the flames casting flickering shadows on the wooden walls, Eris allowed himself to think about his father. The slap, the humiliation in front of the council—it was all too familiar. His father had always known how to break him, to strip him of his dignity and humanity. It was a cruelty Eris had endured for years, but it had never hurt as much as the pain you had caused.

The revelation that Lucien was the father of your child had hit him harder than any blow his father had ever dealt. Eris tried to process it, his mind a whirlwind of emotions. He had always been closest to Lucien, had raised him and protected him as best he could. The memory of being forced to hold Lucien down while their father slaughtered Jesminda still haunted him. It was a betrayal that had cut deep, one that Eris had never forgiven himself for.

Now, to learn that Lucien was the father of your child—it was almost too much to bear. Eris felt a bitter, acrid taste in his mouth every time he thought of it. How could you not have told him? The betrayal was a poison, seeping into his veins and clouding his thoughts.

Yet, in his isolation, Eris began to see things differently. He started to realize that pushing you away had been a mistake. You had been his refuge, his hope for a better future, and he had let his pride and fear drive him away from you. The thought of you struggling alone, possibly in danger, gnawed at him day and night.

The image of Lucien, his brother, raising his child was a painful one. But Eris knew that Lucien would never intentionally hurt him. Their bond, though strained, was still one of family. And you—he had seen the way you looked at him, the way you cared for him. The love he felt for you was too powerful to deny, too vital to ignore.

On the twelfth night of his solitude, as he stared into the fire, something shifted within him. The anger and betrayal that had consumed him began to wane, replaced by a deep, aching regret. He knew he had to find you, to apologize and make things right. The realization hit him like a tidal wave—he couldn’t live without you. The love he felt for you and your child was too strong to let go.

With newfound determination, Eris packed his belongings and set out from the cabin. The journey back to the palace was arduous, the terrain unforgiving, but he pressed on with relentless resolve. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that you needed him now more than ever.

As he approached the outskirts of the palace grounds, the familiar sense of dread crept over him. He had no idea what he would find, or if you would even take him back. But he knew he had to try. For you, for your child, and for the future he desperately wanted to build with you.

His heart pounded with a mixture of fear and hope as he crossed the threshold of the palace, his mind racing with possibilities. He would find you, he would make amends, and he would fight for the life he wanted with you, no matter the cost.

Eris's steps echoed through the halls of the palace, the familiar corridors now seeming alien and hostile. His heart pounded with each stride, a mix of fear and determination driving him forward. He had to find you, to make things right.

As he turned a corner, he found himself face-to-face with Beron. The High Lord of the Autumn Court stood there, his eyes cold and calculating, a sneer curling his lips. The sight of his father, the man who had inflicted so much pain and suffering upon him, only fueled the fire of Eris's anger and urgency.

"Well, well, well," Beron drawled, his voice dripping with disdain. "Look who decided to return. The prodigal son. Have you come back to grovel, Eris?"

Eris clenched his fists, forcing himself to remain calm. "I'm not here for you, Father. I'm here for her."

Beron's eyes narrowed. "Her? Ah, you mean the pregnant woman Lucien tried to hide away in the palace. Pathetic, really. He always was soft-hearted, trying to protect those who don't deserve it."

Eris felt a chill run down his spine. "What do you mean, hide away?"

Beron chuckled, a dark, menacing sound. "Didn't Lucien tell you? He brought some woman here, claiming she needed protection. A waste of our resources, if you ask me. So, I threw her out. We don't need any more useless mouths to feed."

Rage boiled within Eris. "You did what?" he hissed, stepping closer to his father.

"I threw her out," Beron repeated, his tone mocking. "If she's foolish enough to get herself in trouble, she doesn't deserve our help. And as for you, meddling in affairs that don't concern you, it's high time you learned your place."

Eris's vision blurred with fury. The thought of you, vulnerable and in need, being cast out into the streets because of his father's cruelty was too much to bear. He felt a surge of power, raw and untamed, rise within him.

"You've gone too far, Father," Eris growled, his voice trembling with anger. "This ends now."

Beron laughed, a harsh, grating sound. "And what do you plan to do about it, boy? You think you can challenge me? You are nothing but a disappointment."

Years of abuse, torment, and humiliation flashed before Eris's eyes. The countless times he had been belittled, the pain inflicted upon him and his brothers, the loss of Jesminda, and now the suffering you had endured—all because of this man.

Eris's anger reached its breaking point. With a roar of fury, he summoned his fire, the flames dancing around his hands. Beron's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly masked it with a sneer.

"You think your fire can harm me?" Beron taunted. "You're weak, Eris. Always have been."

Eris lunged at his father, his flames blazing with an intensity he had never felt before. Beron tried to counter with his own power, but Eris was driven by a force beyond mere magic—a deep, primal need to protect, to avenge, to end the cycle of cruelty once and for all.

The fight was brutal, a clash of wills and powers that shook the very foundations of the palace. Beron fought back fiercely, but Eris was relentless, his determination unyielding. For every blow Beron landed, Eris struck back harder, his flames scorching through his father's defenses.

In the end, it was not just Eris's power that won the battle, but his resolve. With a final, devastating blast of fire, Eris overwhelmed Beron, the flames consuming him completely. Beron's screams echoed through the halls, but Eris did not relent until his father was nothing but ashes.

Breathing heavily, Eris stood over the remnants of his father, the reality of what he had done sinking in. He had killed Beron, ended the reign of terror that had plagued his family for so long. But there was no time to dwell on it. He had to find you.

Ignoring the stares of the palace staff and the whispers that followed him, Eris continued his search, his heart heavy with the weight of his actions. He had to find you, to make sure you were safe. Nothing else mattered.

As he raced through the palace, his mind was filled with thoughts of you—your smile, your touch, the love he had realized too late. He prayed he wasn't too late to make things right, to save you and your child from the fate his father had so callously decreed.

And then, as he turned a corner, he saw a familiar figure running towards him. Lucien, his face pale with worry, his eyes wide with fear. Eris's heart clenched at the sight of his brother, but there was no time for reconciliation now.

"Eris!" Lucien shouted, skidding to a halt in front of him. "You have to come quickly! She's in danger!"

Eris's blood ran cold. "Where is she?" he demanded, his voice hoarse with urgency.

"She's in the alley, near the east gate," Lucien panted. "She needs help, Eris. She needs you."

Without another word, Eris took off, his heart pounding with fear and determination. He would find you. He would save you. And nothing, not even the memory of his father's cruelty, would stand in his way.

Eris and Lucien raced through the palace halls, their footsteps echoing off the stone walls. The urgency in Lucien's voice had ignited a fire within Eris, and his only thought was to reach you as quickly as possible.

As they sprinted, Lucien glanced sideways at Eris, his brow furrowed with confusion and worry. "Eris, why didn’t you respond when I called out to you earlier? I saw you in the streets, but you just kept walking. I thought something was wrong."

Eris's mind raced, trying to recall the moment Lucien was referring to, but it was a blur. The past weeks had been a haze of anger, regret, and self-imposed isolation. "I didn’t hear you, Lucien," he said, breathless, his tone tinged with frustration. "I’ve been… dealing with things."

Lucien's eyes flashed with a mix of concern and exasperation. "You didn’t hear me? Eris, I shouted your name. You looked right at me, and then just walked away."

Eris shook his head, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. "I was lost in my thoughts. I had to get away, to think. Everything with her, with you… it was too much."

Lucien’s expression softened slightly, but the urgency in his voice remained. "I understand, brother, but right now she needs us. She’s in labor, Eris, and we need to get to her before it’s too late."

The words hit Eris like a physical blow. Labor. The baby was coming, and he wasn’t there for you. His heart pounded harder, and his pace quickened. "I won't let her down," he vowed, more to himself than to Lucien.

TAGLIST

@purple-writer8 @defnotlucienvanserra @cherry-cin @julesofvolterra @mirandasidefics @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @littlestw01f @skylarkalchemist @babypeapoddd @daardyrnitta @talesofadragon @thecraziestcrayon @asaucecoveredsomething @starryhiraeth @darling006 @rosewood-cafe @saltedcoffeescotch @dumblani @paleidiot @rcarbo1 @yourmomsushi

[fartquen12]

"ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ɪɴᴄᴀꜱᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅɪᴇ."

Carl Grimes x Fem! Reader.

// I had an idea for this fic for a while and I have finally pulled it together lmao. Hope you all love it <3 //

TW: Mentions of weapons, mentions of death, lots of smut.

|You only notice how you feel about Carl in the worst moment.|

There you sat covered in blood. Thats the childhood memory you remember best. Sitting on your porch waiting for your parents to come trick or treating with you. You thought a lot about your childhood. The apocolypse had just began and all you had was memories. You wanted more. You had no one now, you were alone. You were 15 when the virus broke out. You saw the first few videos on the news. Confused, scared. You had no clue what would happen to the world. You thought it might just disappear atleast that's what you hoped for... that's what you prayed for. Needless to say now you had been with a group for a while.. and to the looks of it... the end was nowhere near. "Y/N!" A voice called out interrupting your thoughts. It was Carl, a boy around your same age... you had known him for a while now... you didn't know how long but a couple summers and winters.. that's how you counted time. He had been the one that took care of you when your parents died. He was your bestfriend. "Yeah?" You replied, he was running towards you from the distance. "Its late.. however if you're not too tired I need someone to come with me into town." He said out of breath. "How come..?" You asked. "I have to go grab some things for Daryl... I don't want to go alone." He sighed. "Yeah, ok sure. Just let me grab my bag." You nodded reaching for the bag of guns next to you in the field. "C'mon.. we will make it fast." Carl said tugging your arm and before you knew it you were off into the night, again. The town wasn't far, luckily. You both had made it in 20 minutes and had no problems. It was pretty clear. There were no walkers. You both had split up and gathered the items. That's when it all happened... so fast.

"Hey Carl..-" you said hearing footsteps behind you. Unfortunately for you once you turned around you saw a walker coming at you jaw wide open and in a quick moment without thought you scrambled to grab your gun and shoot it right between the eyes. The gun was loud. Extremely loud. Carl came running in your direction after hearing the gunshot. "What the hell Y/N! We don't want anyone to hear us." He yelled. "Well excuse me I was about to get eaten." You yelled back. "You can't just yell and shoot your gun like that!" He exclaimed. "Well, it worked." You smiled. He shook his head. "C'mon, we gotta get going." He said grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of the building. "Holy shit." said Carl as you two exited the building you were faced with dozens of walkers all noticing you two. "Run." He said, yanking your hand and dragging you quickly through alleyways trying to gain distance. "Carl!" You screamed in fear as he pulled you, dodging every walker in sight. You had managed to lose most of them but some had managed to keep up. You kept running, turning and twisting through every possible exit until there was none. You were cornered. "Shit." Carl muttered. "We have to jump." You said looking at the window above the dumpster. So Carl hoisted you up above the dumpster and you quickly examined the area for something... anything stiff enough to break a window. But before you could even get a good look-

shatter

Carl jumped into the building scanning the room for any walkers and when he saw none he grabbed you and pulled you down with him. "You good?" He asked. "Yeah... just a scratch." You replied, your arm stung from the glass. "We're trapped in here. Lets just wait until morning..." he said looking around for somewhere to hide. He found a janitorial closet. Small, Hidden, and Sturdy. He basically threw you in there and locked the door behind the two of you. "Well this is nice." You said sarcastically. "Shh" he hushed you placing a finger to your lips. You hadn't ever said anything.. but you thought Carl was quite attractive. Infact you were pretty sure everyone thought he was attractive. He was two years older than you, the apocalypse had made him a man. You always found yourself admiring him, not like a crush, more like a friend crush? You weren't sure. But in the moment you were sitting in the dark closet face to face, chest to chest, leg to leg, and all you could do was try and not blush. You were pretty sure your face was red. You tried to shift away but he only pulled you closer. "What are you doing?" You asked. "Trying not to die." He whispered, his warm breath hitting your face. "G-Good idea..." you muttered, your heartbeat speeding up. He could feel your heart beating, pounding against your chest. His touch made you shiver. And his breath in your face made your body react in a way it never had before. "Y/N... " he said softly. "Yeah..." you replied, the air was thick and you were sure it was the tension. "Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper. "Y-Yes... I'm fine." You whispered, trying to look away. He put his hand on your cheek. "Stop moving around, they'll notice us." He whispered. You stopped. You could hear his breathing. It was heavy, almost like a sigh. "Are you ok Carl..?" You asked him. "Yeah.." he replied, he was quiet. "Are you sure?" You questioned.

"Yeah..." he responded, again, still quiet. "Are you su-" shhhh he hushed, again placing his finger on your lips. He placed his forehead against yours and let out a deep sigh. "Y/N..." he muttered, his tone low and gruff. "Mhm...?" You mumbled, looking up at him. He looked at you, his eyes piercing through the darkness and staring into your soul. His face was so close. "Y/N.. can I.." he whispered, his tone shaky. "Can you what?" You asked.

Without warning he pulled your face closer and his lips brushed yours. He lingered for a minute and then backed away. "Shit... I'm sorry..." he apologized, his face full of embarrassment. "No.. don't be... that was..." you paused trying to think of the right words. "Amazing." You finished, leaning in and kissing him back. He returned the kiss. It was gentle at first but then became rougher. He pushed his lips against yours and ran his tongue across your lips, begging for entry. You granted him entrance and his tongue was in your mouth. He explored every inch and bit down on your lip, causing you to moan into his mouth. You could tell it turned him on because he pushed his body closer to yours and began sucking and biting your neck, leaving marks. "Carl." You moaned as he grinded his hips against yours, his hands exploring every part of your body. He unbuttoned your shirt and slipped it off. "What are you-"

"Just incase we die." He says when...

BANG BANG BANG

"BRO... WHAT WAS THAT!!!" you yelled out. THATS WHEN JOHN STAMOS CAME BUSTING IN AND BEGAN HUMPING A BROOM AND FARTING ON BOTH OF YOU GUYS. "HOW BA-A-A-A-AD CAN I BE!!" YELLS OUT ONE OF THE WALKERS. THATS WHEN THE WHOLE HOARD CAME BUSTING IN AND ONE ZOMBIE TURNED ON SKIBIDI TOILET AND IN SYNC ALL OF THE THOUSOUNDS OF WALKERS CAME PILING INTO THE CLOSET AND BEGAN HITTING THE GRIDDY EVERYWHERE AND POOPING. "SHIT!!" CRIES OUT CARL AS HE TURNS TO YOU. "JUST RUN!!" HE SHOUTS. "WE NEED A PLAN." YOU SHOUT BACK. "YO POOP!" CARL SAYS DIVING HEAD FIRST INTO A PILE OF WALKER POOP. "OH, OKAY." YOU REPLY, DOING THE SAME. YOU AND CARL BECOME SO DIRTY THAT YOU DISAPPEAR INTO THE POOP. "HMMM, DID WE DO IT BRO?? DID WE SUCCEED?" YOU ASK. "I DON'T KNOW... LET ME TEST." CARL SAYS, REACHING UP AND TUGGING AT A ZOMBIE'S CROTCH. "I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING." YOU TELL HIM. "I HAVE AN IDEA." CARL SAYS, UNZIPPING HIS PANTS. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING." YOU ASK HIM. "MY FAVORITE MAGIC TRICK." HE REPLIES, BEFORE SLIDING OFF HIS PANTS AND BREATHING FIRE FROM HIS BUTT. "WOAH!" YOU SAY, AS YOU WATCH HIM SPEW FIRE AT THE WALKERS. "I HAVE A SECOND PART TO THIS." CARL SAYS, SLIDING OFF YOUR PANTS. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!" YOU ASK. "DO IT FOR DARYL!" HE SAYS, SHOOTING YOU INTO THE WALKERS WITH FIRE. "BRUUUU THATS SICK!" YOU YELL OUT DOOKIE FALLING INTO YOUR MOUTH "YOUR SICK BRO!" SAYS CARL "OKAY BRO BUT LIKE... NO HOMO." YOU SAY "NO HOMO WE SLEEP BUTT TO BUTT" CARL SAYS GRABBING YOUR HAND AND THEN YOU GUYS HIT THE GRIDDY WITH ALL OF THE WALKERS.

AND SO THERE YOU SAT

COVERED IN POOP

THE END!!!!!!!

HOPED YOU GUYS LOVED THIS FIC AS MUCH AS I DO <3

[demonslayedher]

More thoughts:

--Tanjiro, once again, nearly perishes of dehydration. I'm glad they later talk about Shinobu making a displeased face hearing about Genya's condition, because I would love to see what face she'd make hearing about Tanjiro nearly doing this to himself again. But on that note, it's so so so so so so so nice how Tanjiro and Genya bring out the most normal normalcy in each other. They can just. Be calm. And talk calmly. They can just chill like high school boys. AND INOSUKE CANNOT.

--I really loved how good that conversation felt for both Tanjiro and Himejima. Like, it wasn't just an interaction to have happen and cross off a list. They both needed that. Himejima needed some reminder of good kids out there in the world whom he doesn't need to be so jaded about, and that meant his words of validation for Tanjiro were extremely well through-though, which is why they had such a penetrating effect for Tanjiro. He gets told a lot how cool and special he is and he can only take it in stride with humility to deflect a lot of it, but Himejima's affirmations were about Tanjiro's moral character, and there was nothing for Tanjiro to do but let those words sink in. It's clear that Himejima wouldn't say these things to just anyone.

--Which is why the things Himejima says to the other Hashira always have such weight too, and the light novels are so good

--You know what really gets me about Himejima in this flashback? He's very self-aware of his own ugliness and motivations and why it's unreasonable to be upset with Sayo, even though he wronged so deeply. The fact that he wanted her to thank him, and if that was all he ever got, it would have been enough to save him.

--He's been tormented all this time by the disgusting feelings of violence that pulsed through his fists, but even now, ten years later, he knows what a different person he'd be if only Sayo had saved him in his darkest moment. Now that's an AU that's too tender and sweet to ruin with humor, however humorous it would be to have a Happy-jima.

--BUT Awwww MAAANN the way he USED to SMIIIILLLLLEEEE, Ufotable you're killing me

--Even now the memory upsets him enough to crack his prayer beads--the touch of the broken prayer beads on the floor was so good

--Showing Kaigaku's face was A CHOICE and Ufotable sure made it and they sure did justice to the pacing and revelation of Zenitsu's change in demeanor. Tanjiro, that was Zenitsu saying good-bye.

--Crying Nezuko in Tanjiro's mind is soooooo cuuuuute

--I've always loved how, despite Gotouge's usually avoidance of foreshadowing, what there is of it can be very clever. Sanemi and Giyuu breaking each other's wooden swords in the same moment is a preview of their equal strength in crashing blades to make them Red.

--Sanemi had aaaaaall the best faces, but the worst of all was the smile he has in Giyuu's delusions. And Sanemi's recollection of Tanjiro's mention of ohagi is so different than how Tanjiro actually said it; it's so insulting that way he heard it.

--Something happens to Tanjiro's face when he's around Giyuu. It gets squishier than usual. It was already squishy in the first place. He should probably bother Shinobu and get that looked at.

--I looooove how they made Sanemi connect the dots when he sees Nakime's eye.

--You know? Let Muzan have his dramatic walk. He's waiting so many centuries for this. But you know the only thing I would have changed to make it more thematic? I'D HAVE HAD HIM SPEND SOME OF THAT STRUT AROUND THE GRAVES WHICH KAGAYA HAD STRUGGLED TO WALK AMONG EVERY DAY.

[chaifootsteps]

think what annoys me so much about the 'Stolas has done character development! that's why he isn't condescending anymore!' argument is how blatantly it misuses what character development is

character development in this scenario would be Stolas realizing he's done and said things that are wrong, apologizing, then trying to be better

what he does in full moon looks like it, but it's not it. because he never takes personal responsibility and he's in total delusion about how he's treated Blitzo this entire time

then he doubles down on it in apology tour. when Blitzo says he looks down on him Stolas says he doesn't and then starts to say 'when have I ever-'

it's right there from his own mouth. he never acknowledges or admits that even if he didn't mean to come across that way, he definitely has done and said things that demeaned Blitzo.

Stolas will never develop as a character as long as he continues to insist that Blitzo is just wrong to think of him as a condescending royal, end of story. He hasn't fundamentally changed his behavior at all - the only feelings that matter are his and he's the only one who's owed an apology, because anything cruel he does doesn't matter as long as he didn't really mean it

this is the worst example of a creator's pet I think I've ever seen. Even the likes of Rachel Berry (who was also a black hole consuming Glee) managed to say 'I'm sorry' on occasion

Exactly. Character development means that a character actually developed...that something happened to them which resulted in them changing.

"Wait, wait, I want to ship this obnoxious, creepy sexual predator with his victim so he's good now" isn't character development.

[anthurak]

Something I find so damn interesting about Apology Tour is how both the scenes with Blitzo and Stolas actually show us, in real time, how Blitzo’s deep-seated trauma-defenses and internalized self-hatred actively STOP him from forming meaningful connections and burn down the relationships he forms.

In their first scene at the start of the episode, it is painfully OBVIOUS that Blitzo misses Stolas and at some level WANTS to patch things up with him. But at the same time is constantly self-sabotaging with his deeply ingrained emotional defenses. This scene really does show Blitzo at some of the WORST we’ve ever seen him, constantly blowing off, shooting down and mocking Stolas’s attempts at sincerity while being painfully obvious how desperate he still is.

And it’s all because his deeply ingrained emotional defenses and self-loathing actively FIGHTING his sincere love for Stolas in a way that I doubt Blitzo is even fully aware of: Every time he gets anywhere close to genuine sincerity or any kind of true apology, he almost reflexively back-peddles on ‘can’t-be-vulnerable-I’ll-only-get-hurt, can’t-be-vulnerable-I’ll-only-get-hurt’ to push Stolas away, to the point where when some genuine vulnerability slips out in the form of EXACTLY WHAT BLITZO NEEDED TO ADMIT TO STOLAS AND HIMSELF… Blitzo immediately undermines and sabotages it in the most sad and pathetic way possible.

It really makes it clear that what happened in The Full Moon was in NO WAY the product of circumstance or ‘just a misunderstanding’, but instead was the inevitable end result of Blitzo’s and Stolas’s relationship.

Then we have the conversation at Verosika’s party, which I think gives us a look at just how DEEP Blitzo’s self-sabotage and self-loathing really goes.

Because in this scene, unlike in previous ones, Blitzo has been effectively stripped of the normal callous abrasiveness he normally uses to keep people at a distance, with his only attempts being soft and not-even-half-hearted. Instead, what’s most telling about this scene isn’t what Blitzo does say, but what he DOESN’T.

Blitzo is largely quiet through much of this scene while Stolas does most of the talking. However, Blitzo’s nonverbal moments in this scene make it clear that he is both deeply in love with Stolas, and FULLY aware of how in love he is.

Yet it seems that when Blitzo tries to reach out and be sincere and vulnerable, he just… CAN’T.

As in, we see multiple instances during this scene of Blitzo have a chance to and even making what seems to be attempts to reach out and open up to Stolas, only to just… stop.

I think this scene is showing us that Blitzo’s self-hatred and simple, unbridled FEAR of being hurt are so DEEPLY ingrained that he simply CANNOT be truly sincere and vulnerable with Stolas or really anyone. Even when he’s not actively pushing people away, this scene showed us Blitzo being simply unable to actually open up to Stolas.

For me, these scenes and the episode as a whole really confirmed that, regardless of any issues/fault on Stolas' part, Blitzo’s relationship with him, or with anyone, was NEVER going to work as he is now.

These scenes show us that all of Blitzo’s trauma and baggage are actively PREVENTING him from forming close connections with others. And that Blitzo straight-up CANNOT have or maintain a close, meaningful and functional relationship with Stolas, or ANYONE, until he recognizes, confronts, understands and resolves all the trauma and baggage he’s been repressing for the last fifteen years.

So I suppose it’s a good thing that the next episode seems poised to drag him kicking and screaming into such a confrontation.

[auspicioustidings]

Ae Fond Kiss - Part 6

Despondency

Summary: Everything blows up. Words: 1.6k TWs: reference to miscarriage

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6

When you first woke up you were unaware that yesterday your world had just stopped. You wondered why you were cold when usually your husband stayed in bed with you until you woke up and him holding you always made things a perfect temperature. 

And then it all came back and you shot out of bed like a bullet. You needed to get to Joe. This was never how you wanted him to find out who his father was, and you felt like the worst mother on the planet for letting him be sent away after such a traumatic revelation. You needed to apologise and see how he was doing, sit down and talk with him before anything else. 

Fuck you felt old and worn beyond your years. But you fought the despondency, your kid needed you. You loved Simon and you loved Johnny, but they would always come second to your son and you were so sure they would not have it any other way. 

The moment you stumbled out of the bedroom you heard the arguing. 

“She’s my fucking wife! Yer a shite best friend LT, how could ye?”

You probably should have gotten some context before inserting yourself in the conversation but you were hardly thinking before you barrelled down the stairs and into the heart of it. They needed to calm down. Everyone needed to be thinking first and foremost of the brilliant little boy caught in the middle. 

“I- we never would have if we knew you were alive Johnny! I wouldn't betray you like that and neither would he! He was your best friend, please, you know he wouldn't hurt someone he loves like that.”

“Aye, we naw counting Las Almas then?”

Johnny knew it was cruel, but he had become a cruel man in Russia. He had to be. He had used so many cruel truths over the past decade to prove himself. But you were not the acceptable collateral he had just made of you to hurt Simon. Simon may not have loved you yet back when he had betrayed you, but the betrayal stood all the same.

He looked like the Ghost he called himself, pale and sickly. So he hadn't told you then. He had married you without ever telling you how his hands had pushed at your husbands shoulders to get him to present properly so he could take him deeper. How his cock had spilled filthy promises inside of him as his tongue dripped with the honey of confession. If I had known I would have scared her off at the start. If I had known what it'd feel like to watch you fall in love with someone else.

“No, fuck no princess that is not what he's talking about. I promise you that's not what he means.”

Johnny looked at you and saw the horror on your face. Not just horror though. Guilt. That was definitely guilt.

“What is it ye think I mean exactly?” he growled, starting to lose himself to the anger of the moment. 

“I- I-” you stuttered out, clearly in a panic. 

He came to the wrong conclusion.

“It was Simon I sent tae tell ye I was hurt… ye didn't get back to base until the day after” he said, almost startled at the realisation of what he thought he had uncovered. 

“Jesus fuck! I was in the med bay and ye needed someone tae get ye through was that it? A moment of weakness? Didnae even think tae tell me even when I asked ye tae marry me or when ye got pregnant with our son?!”

Somewhere in the depths of his mind he knew that they were the words he had been screaming at himself for over a decade. The words he tried to reassure himself with even when they weren't true. Simon had never been a moment of weakness. Looks like he hadn't been for you either. That’s what made him so angry, that he couldn’t even blame you.

The Simon he knew would have become Ghost on him by now. He’d be scruffed by the neck and growled at to calm down. But this was not quite the Simon he knew. Instead of paying any mind to him, he was desperately holding your face with complete tenderness, trying to block Johnny out. You looked… well now that Johnny was trying to figure out what the fuck was happening, you looked ruined. 

Surely he must be right then? What else could have happened on a night where Simon stayed over. Fuck he was a hypocrite. He knew it and it made him so goddamn mad at himself. Typical John MacTavish, hurting everyone around him. He choked back panic and got out of there fast before his anger could turn back on himself in front of two of the people he loved most in the world.  

– 

Simon couldn’t worry about Johnny right at that moment. His priority was you because he knew exactly what you had taken from that outburst. Fuck. You thought Johnny was angry at you over the miscarriage. 

“Hey it’s ok, breathe for me.”

“I- he- it was all my fault. I should have done something differently. I should’ve known earlier so I wasn’t drinking and was eating right.”

He couldn’t do it. He had thought about it, letting you believe that’s what had made Johnny mad.

“He thinks we slept together that night.”

He saw the confusion. Of course you’d be confused because why would Johnny ever think that? Only what you didn’t know was that he already knew he was capable of fucking people he shouldn’t be. He thought about saving himself. He had no guarantee he would ever get to hold you again if you knew what he had done, how selfish he had been. Johnny had shown him that ring and he had lost it. Changed nothing that he was stupidly in love with the idiot, he wasn’t his to love. Maybe you weren’t either. 

“I fucked him in Las Almas” he said, blunt and clear. 

You blinked at him, shocked still. It took a moment to even figure out what those words meant because surely not. There was no way that while you were at home going through the most traumatic period of your life alone that your husband was sleeping with his best friend. There was no way that said best friend was then the one to comfort you about it with the taste of your husband still on his tongue. 

And then Johnny had… that motherfucker had come back from the dead and acted like you were the one in the wrong for falling in love after he faked his own death? He hadn’t even asked about his son. His son who had his eyes and his laugh and his temper. No, he had swanned in like he hadn’t broken your heart and acted like you had no right to move on when he had cheated and lied. 

Maybe you should have been angry at Simon and you were sure that would come later, but right now you were storming after the fucking idiot trying to run away from his problems without even responding to your husband (second husband perhaps, you wondered vaguely if you were now breaking the law, not that it mattered when you were about to murder the first one).

“John MacTavish you get your arse back here!”

Johnny’s anger sparked against your tone and he turned himself right around. You wanted a fight? Oh he was ready for a fight. If he was honest with himself hearing you sound so angry was a relief after seeing the look on your face before.  

“Right then, let’s dae this!”

You turned the corner in a fury. He was taken aback. He had seen you mad, had yelling matches with you, but this was something altogether different. It scared the shit out of him. 

“Sure let’s. While you were busy sleeping with your superior officer I was losing our first baby all by myself. You then sent that superior officer to tell me you were hurt and I wanted to die. He stayed with me because I wasn’t in any state to be alone, but unlike you I was fully sincere when I told you I loved you so I didn’t do anything with him!”

Johnny was frozen in place as was Simon who had just come around the corner to join them. 

“I was so ashamed that I had lost our baby that I never told you any of it because I couldn’t stand you hating me. And then Joey came and I loved the family we had built so much. He’s a great kid by the way, not that you’ve bothered to ask. And you left me alone with him when I didn’t know what I was doing. You made that choice. I didn’t think I was going to survive losing you. At one point I was so sure I would give him up because he deserved so much more than me. But I survived it all and I raised him to be kind and brave and honest because those were all the things that made me love his father. They were all the things his step-dad was too. But the two of you lied the whole time.”

You were crying you knew, so angry and hurt that everything was spilling over. 

“Get out. Both of you.”

“Princess…”

“Bonnie…”

“Get the fuck out!”

You didn’t look at them as they left. You didn’t have it figured out yet, but you had survived worse than this and you would continue to survive. Now you just had to get your head back on straight and go get the one person in this situation who had done nothing to cause it and deserved every answer that he wanted. If you had to live the rest of your life with an irreparably broken heart then so be it, you weren’t the one that mattered here.

[bee-unknown]

It always amuses me when TG acts like Alicent's life would've been better if she hadn't married Viserys, like no, if she had failed in seducing Viserys her father wouldn't have allowed her to marry someone of her choosing, he probably would've married her to the best buyer and given her status it wouldn't have been someone very important and as we were able to see, Otto doesn't care about the age of the suitor

And no, don't say "But but but house Hightower was important bla bla bla" because though that's true, her father is the second son, so unless her uncle died with no heirs, her marriage prospects weren't very good, the only thing that would've saved her a little would be the fact that she was friends with the heir, and someone would've married her in the hopes of getting close to Rhaenyra and striking an alliance, but that's me trying to find something positive about a marriage with Alicent (in the political sense). Like, there's a reason why Otto didn't publicly present Alicent as an option, because he knew he would be laughed at, who would think that the king was going to choose the worst out of his 2 options?

Viserys married her because he thought she was interested in him (in s1 ep 2 she tells him she had been enjoying his company), or at the very least that they got along, she visited him in her best clothes looking better than she ever had (cause let's be honest here, she looked great), which showed more skin than normal, she ate with him, gave him gifts, etc. Like that's shit you do in Westeros if you are interested in someone. He also married her not because he was looking for a male heir, but because he needed that little reassurance that if something happened to Rhaenyra before she had children there would be someone who could take the throne, like there's a reason why back then people had many children, not because they were the product of love but because they had titles to lend and they needed to ensure that they would pass to someone in their lineage, after all, Corlys said it himself "History does not remember BLOOD, It remembers NAMES"

Viserys isn't some sort of pervert for marrying someone younger than him, that was normal in Westeros, women were considered old and barren as soon as they turned 24 (exaggeration), do you really think lords married young girls to prey on their beauty and youth? No! They married 15-year-olds because they were fertile and because of the advantages the marriage would bring to them, a marriage was never simply because "they are beautiful"

People need to stop putting so much blame on Viserys, does he deserve it? probably, but greenies often forget that Otto was the one who pimped out his daughter, and put all the blame on Viserys as if he had requested the guards to bring Alicent to his chambers as if he had made the first move.

"oh but he told her not to tell Rhaenyra" Wrong, he ASKED If she had told Rhaenyra, why would he ask her not to tell Rhaenyra, what, 6 months after they started seeing each other?

One last thing, Alicent did have a choice, she could've told Viserys "My dad sent me to comfort you" and then acted like she misunderstood what Otto meant by it and if she didn't do that and went with her fathers plan she could've told Rhaenyra, that way she could've at least saved her relationship with her. After all, if Alicent had a right to get mad at Rhaenyra for not telling her she had gotten stuffed by Criston, Rhaenyra surely has a right to get mad that her best friend had been seeing HER dad behind her back for MONTHS

[hestzhyen]

Already Waist-Deep

Hi internet void. Please allow me to kagura my bachi all over the place for a little bit. I've got a bad case of the brain worms about these boys that I haven't even had together for 20 chapters yet. Let me ramble a little bit about why they're already so compelling as not only a duo, but a ship.

First off, a caveat. Kagurabachi is a Weekly Shounen Jump (WSJ) action series. That means that if romance is ever addressed in the series itself, the protagonist is going to end up with a girl. Doesn't matter how underdeveloped or lackluster his relationship to her is, or how flat she is as a character. Invest lightly and come along for the ride without any expectations of m/m ships becoming canon. (That said, it might not be the worst thing in the world for our MC to end up with a girl in this case- more on that later.)

Second, I don't really ship that often. Not seriously at least. I need more than two guys being close with each other to start wanting them to be a pair, y'know? So I hope you understand the intensity of the material Hokazono-sensei has been giving us the past few chapters. I am on the brink of going all-in on HakuHiro/ChihiHaku in less than 20 chapters, it's that insane.

Third, I will be talking about current developments without marking potential spoilers. There are less than 40 chapters out as of writing this but there are at least two reveals that would be better appreciated going in blind. Spoilers for the oneshot Farewell! Cherry Boy are also a thing near the end.

Okay? Okay. Let's begin.

Who's Involved? First up is our protagonist Chihiro Rokuhira, an 18 year old boy and the son of a famous swordsmith. He was raised with genuine love and care by his father (no idea what happened to his mom yet), taking care of their day-to-day life while learning his father's trade. And from the very first chapter he is steeped in tragedy as he witnesses his father's murder and life's work being stolen. He then sets out on the long, fraught road of vengeance.

Sounds grim and not exactly compelling, right? Especially when this scene from the first chapter was making the rounds being memed to death:

But there's much more to Chihiro than meets the eye. Flashbacks to his time growing up show him being a natural caretaker to his dad and their fish- cooking meals, keeping his dad on task, and so on. We see glimpses of underlying tenderness when he meets and rescues Char, a sweet little girl with her own tragic past. And we get some insight that he might not be quite as resolute as he's projecting himself to be when he faces off against Sojo, a fan of his father who worships a much different version of the man than Chihiro knew. Right now Rakuzaichi arc has definitively shown us that Chihiro isn't as collected as he seems. One of his father's killers easily cracks the mask and shows us Chihiro is really just a desperate kid with a heaping helping of trauma, while Tenri's pointless sacrifice shakes him to his core. But despite it all he's still doing determinator things in the most badass way possible. Chihiro has layers, man. A lot of them. And the best way to understand our protagonist right now is through his foil: Hakuri Sazanami.

Who is Hakuri? Another 18 year old boy with a special lineage, but he's a loser who needs to be saved from common thugs. A pathetic guy who latches on to Chihiro and doesn't take the hint when Chihiro literally runs away to ditch him. An utter failure to his family. A lost puppy looking for a samurai.

Hakuri Sazanami is one of the best goddamn foils I've seen in shounen manga yet.

Let me tell you all the ways I love the writing around this kid and Chihiro because MAN I can't even contain all these feels.

What's Going On? From the start, Hakuri looks like he's just another person for Chihiro to bail out. He witnesses Chihiro's awesomeness fighting Sojo in the streets and decides to imitate it, standing up for a little girl being kidnapped. Instead of winning out, though, he's captured and kicked around. Once he's coincidentally rescued by Chihiro he's immediately all-in on tagging along and keeping Chihiro in his life. Look at this pathetic guy:

Chihiro decides to hear him out due to his connection to the Sazanamis, the Big Bads of the arc. He's initially put off by Hakuri's intensity but brings him along anyway, as Hakuri's insider information regarding the Sazanami family makes him useful. Then, as Chihiro wavers under Hiyuki's assault, Hakuri is truly useful for the first time:

And it only gets better from here. We see Hakuri hanging off Chihiro's every word trying to be as useful as possible for his samurai, striving to do anything he can, though it ends up with him forcing Chihiro to give up his precious sword Enten in exchange for his life. (Yes, Chihiro "buys" Hakuri from the Sazanamis- Hakuri's own family.) Later on during the invasion of the auction is where things go into overdrive though. We see their character arcs start to invert and shape each other's as the action unfolds and Hakuri's own tragic past comes to light, eventually awakening him to his special abilities. Chihiro's bravery and strength help him pull this off and finally defeat the older brother that tortured him in the name of "love". Hakuri ascends to being the strongest Sazanami since the progenitor started their line centuries ago. He's the Special Boy!

All this to say that Hakuri Sazanami isn't just a deuteragonist or a foil…

He's the goddamn heroine.

Kagurabachi's Built Different What makes a shounen series heroine? Firstly, they support the main character without getting involved in most of the heavy fighting; their abilities are usually support-centric. A shounen heroine will usually at most have a fight against another girl while the main event is happening nearby, making sure the main character has the spotlight. Second, most of the value they bring to the protagonist's story is emotional. They encourage him, validate him, provide a bit of a refuge for him to safely let his guard down. They can get him to express softer emotions that he wouldn't normally show around others. Third… they're the love interest. Ochako, Orihime, Chichi, and now… Hakuri? Really?

We know the third one will not happen for HakuHiro in canon. But what about the first two? Well, let's recap what Hakuri has done for Chihiro so far.

Hakuri can defend himself now, but his most useful ability is access to an interdimensional storehouse. Given the way that his magic works -he needs to prioritize maintaining a storehouse or using Isou- he'll likely be the means of keeping the enchanted blades safe rather than a front-line fighter. Support-centric character that will still get some combat time against lesser opponents: check.

Hakuri's given Chihiro some much-needed direct emotional validation that he hasn't gotten from anyone else yet. ("You saved me." … "That katana suits you.") Hakuri's words fortify his resolve and Chihiro later pays it back by trading Enten, an incalcuably precious sword and memento of his father, for Hakuri's life. He even uses the same phrase when asked why he'd do that for someone as worthless as Hakuri ("That guy… saved me.") He later reaffirms that Hakuri's encouragement gave him the courage to let go of Enten in the first place:

Emotional support pillar: check.

"Well that's not enough!" you say. "That's just taking some moments and doing that thing you said you didn't do- smushing boys together just because they're close!" OK but look at how Hakuri thinks about Chihiro:

Chihiro has been his inspiration from the first time he saw him. It can be read as admiration and hero worship, but isn't it a bit much when remembering how devoted Hakuri has been since they met?

And just look at Hakuri's face here, he's beaming when Chihiro busts in to save him just like he believed he would:

Mostly, though, Chihiro is the one who gives Hakuri strength in the moment. The Ice Woman broke him free of his family's mentality, and now Chihiro gives Hakuri what he needs most: hope. Something he never had before, which doomed his relationship to the Ice Woman; he couldn't prove to her that there was more to life than despair because that was all he knew… but that completely changed once he met his samurai.

And that's been their thing through this arc. Each one is giving the other the vital thing they needed to grow and keep going. When Hakuri was struggling at the start, Chihiro was his guiding light towards a better future. And when Chihiro struggled in the aftermath of Tenri's cruel death, Hakuri pulled him along so they finish the job. They're in perfect sync now as they take down the Rakuzaichi. Don't just take my word for it, check out Hokazono-sensei's color page for the most recent chapter (38): https://twitter.com/KaguraShiba/status/1804898273859445181 From Hella (KaguraShiba): >Kagurabachi Ch 38 JP Color Page 「阿吽の呼吸で薙ぎ払え」 "Two people dancing to the same beat, mowing down enemies" >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Synchronized breathing >Or when people are the most in tune with each other >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Is a Buddhist expression in Japanese meaning something close to "harmonizing in sync together" >"Aun" is also used to indicate an "Aun relationship", indicating an inherently harmonious relationship or nonverbal communication Yeesh. But holy shit it's paying off. In chapter 38 these boys are already in harmony- Hakuri registers Chihiro into his storehouse (yes they both "own" each other now) and sends him in to fight his father. During the fight Chihiro trusts Hakuri to interpret his intent and it works. Chihiro wordlessly tags a bunch of grenades with his spirit energy and Hakuri pulls them out into the real world to bomb the shit out of the Rakuzaichi audience. They didn't plan this beforehand- they had no idea Kyoura had fucking grenades laying around in there. But they're close enough to understand each other's thoughts already. Peak soulmate material right there!

What's got me most interested now, though, is how they will pull/push each other after this arc. Chihiro's going to be focused more than ever on tracking down his father's killer and the swords. But Hakuri, well… I think it would be very interesting if he starts to become a despair monster. A reflection of Chihiro's state at the very start of the manga where nothing mattered to him except exacting revenge. We're seeing shades of this in the most recent chapter where he's slumped over and obviously depressed about how all this is turning out. He's going to end his family's cruel trade but at what cost to himself? Will Chihiro see some of himself in Hakuri and be able to help him out, or at least promise to find relief from the pain together? Obviously a Bad End where Hakuri takes himself out is in the cards given Hokazono-sensei's previous works but… on a meta level, I think his storehouse ability will keep him relevant. I mean yeah he could be used to slap Chihiro across the face by showing what a bad end for his revenge story could look like but I think (hope) that won't happen. [Note to future self: I give you permission to go batshit insane if Chihiro stops Hakuri from committing sudoku.]

And this is where my brain worms are coming from. In just under 20 chapters we have an extremely strong set up between them- so much room for them to teach each other; push to grow and pull back from the brink when tragedy strikes again.

But where's the real meat, you ask? The actual literary analysis in this gushing rant about how much I love these boys I barely know? Well, fine. Buckle up because it's time for some…

Daddy Issues The Rakuzaichi arc really digs into comparing Chihiro's affection for his dad to the Sazanami family structure. And I gotta talk about this because it's the key aspect that makes Hakuri such a brilliant foil.

First off, the similarities. Chihiro and the Sazanami kids are all intensely devoted to their fathers. All of them were raised with love while learning the intricacies of their family trade. We see the Sazanami kids getting praised for doing well, just like Chihiro. Hakuri and Tenri were even told they were special. During the arc, the Sazanami kids put their lives on the line to defend their dad and family legacy with zeal matched by Chihiro's intensity to avenge his dad. When he falls, Tenri's final words are apologizing to his father.

It's truly heartbreaking that the Sazanami's dad never loved them back.

You see, the Sazanamis are one of those families that put their lineage and craft over everything else. Every member of the family lives for ensuring the Rakuzaichi auction goes off without a hitch. One of the clan is chosen to inherit the storehouse and the rest are trained to defend it to the death. Kyoura, the current patriarch, has no compunctions about letting his son Tenri die just to delay Chihiro and the gang for a few more minutes. He had his kids put their lives on the line to defend a storehouse door that he had already broken in secret- making it completely useless. And he's equally cold when it comes to children who can't perform to standards like Hakuri. Once Hakuri (apparently) fails to manifest an ability for sorcery, Kyoura turns a willfully blind eye to the abuse his kid starts to suffer. He knowingly lets Hakuri be tortured by his older brother for years and does nothing, then disowns him once some "merchandise" kills herself in front of him. There's no love for children who can't be useful to the family's traditions. Yet any love that does exist between father and child is manipulated as seen here:

What the fuck man.

So Hakuri is going into this arc firm in his conviction to end his family's evil ways. He's been abused physically and emotionally for at least six years straight; he knows his father doesn't love him. And even now when he's about to bring the whole place down with Chihiro he's still yearning for his dad's praise. Hakuri's family is fucked up bad and he needs a hell of a lot of healing after all is said and done.

Meanwhile, every flashback with Chihiro shows us that he was truly loved and cared for like every kid deserves. His dad wasn't perfect but he was exactly what a parent should be- kind, understanding, and supportive. His goofy advice helps Chihiro to this day. Chihiro and his dad had a genuine father-son bond that was broken by tragedy and thus Chihiro's desire to do right by his father's memory is driven by grief, first and foremost. So when we see his expression after Tenri's death, we know why he's so badly shaken. They clashed out of love and duty for their fathers, supposedly prepared to pay the ultimate price. But the Sazanami version of "love" is a very different, much less wholesome than the version Chihiro knows… and no less effective in terms of motivation.

You can practically hear his heart breaking for Tenri. And his inner thoughts in the next chapter say it all: he was naive to think he could enact revenge while holding fast to the kindness he grew up with. Chihiro's kindness that he learned from his father is a liability to him in this situation. Meanwhile, Hakuri knew from the start that he had to finally give up the last of his familial affection. He hardened his heart and steeled his resolve to do whatever it took.

Both Chihiro and Hakuri knew what it was like to be loved. Hakuri's version might have been twisted, but it was still painful to have that bond suddenly broken. And now we've seen Edgy Revenge Man's inner softness hold him back while Silly Soft Guy has a heart colder than the arctic. I go absolutely feral comparing and contrasting their situation and how their positions have reversed. Yeah, Chihiro's going to be the action guy who saves the day but Hakuri's the reason he can do it. Hakuri's surprisingly strong core has pushed Chihiro to put his feelings aside to get things done. I can't fucking wait to see how this arc ends and where these boys end up. What will the the most important thing Chihiro takes away from Hakuri here? I hope it leads him to be a bit more openly compassionate and soft around his allies- Hakuri's situation being a lesson in not letting your family's bonds overtake everything else. For Hakuri, well… I think being around Chihiro, Char, and the rest will help him heal. But I hope it's Chihiro that keeps him stable as the person that can relate to him best.

Meta Ramblings Whew. Now then… Yo dumbass writing this, we're not even 40 chapters in yet. Don't you think it's a bit too soon to start getting hyped for a character that could be shelved as soon as the arc is done?

From the four one-shots available to read, it seems like Hokazono-sensei is interested in writing about characters encountering tragedy through various kinds of love. I think it's intriguing that three out of the four end in despair and the one that doesn't still involves a fair bit of sadness. It's interesting to see the themes and characters he's reused in Kagurabachi. It's a bit early to say about Hakuri's circumstances since this is only the second proper arc in the series, but given Hokazono-sensei's past works I think Hakuri is here to stay. He seems to love his color-coded foils (Chain, Enten, Roku no Meiyaku). Farewell! Cherry Boy also explores the circumstances of a blindly loyal boy who feels useless being given his first chance to prove himself… I think this is a theme that Hokazono-sensei is revisiting in a more in-depth fashion with Hakuri, so there's a good chance there's more planned.

And just for fun, if we want to look at his romance stories… Madogiwa de Amu is all about one person being the other's greatest hope, their reason to perservere in the face of hardship and seeing that reciprocated in turn. Complete with the weaker person becoming strong enough to protect the person who inspired them first. Hmm. (Hopefully it doesn't end the same way though 'cause man, I can see Hakuri doing something similar right now…) It's also not impossible for Kagurabachi to touch on love given we see Farewell! Cherry Boy incorporating love as the crux of the narrative, despite starting as a gangster story. The true MC is quite like Chihiro as well in terms of motivation and action plan.

I also think it's impossible to overstate how important it is for Chihiro to have a friendly peer to compare to, narratively speaking. Char is a woobie, Shiba's an uncle figure, and Hiyuki is set up to be the aggro rival/frenemy. Hinao could become more than a side character but it seems unlikely at this time. Chihiro needs someone his own age to just be himself with. And that, I am 99% sure, will be Hakuri. A guy who's suffered just as much as he has. Someone who knows what it's like to have a famous last name and lineage to protect. An equal who's unquestionably on his side, who will lift him up when he's down, will need some protection and care. So yes I think Hakuri will be sticking around to be Chihiro's foil. He might take a back seat at times as heroines do, but he'll still be there to support our sad boi through thick and thin.

Anyway that's why I'm ready to jump feet-first into this ship. It's got all the hallmarks of a wonderfully strong bond and I hope we get to see these boys comforting each other for years to come. If you read all this… thank you? Maybe get yourself checked for brain worms? And tell everyone you know to read this amazing action-packed tragedy laced with BL crack cocaine.

[lurafita]

In case of superpowers/superheroes au kinda stuff

Magnus, laying on a dark brown leather couch in Ragnor's home: "So, I recently discovered that I might have feelings for one of my superhero Team members."

Ragnor, who just got in through the door: "How did you get in here?"

Magnus: "And that in itself shouldn’t be a big deal, but after everything that happened with Camille,"

Ragnor: "Did you bring this couch in here? That is not my couch."

Magnus, snacking on nuts: "I'm just a little worried that this might be some kind of rebound thing on my part?"

Ragnor: "Did you seriously buy a couch that looks like those lounge couches in tv therapy offices just to pour your heart out to me?"

Magnus: "And I wouldn’t want for that kind of reason to be the start of a relationship, you know? It wouldn’t be fair to my teammate or myself."

Ragnor: "You know people don’t necessarily lie down on such couches during their therapy sessions, right?"

Magnus: "And I have been trying to be nicer to myself, after your guys' last intervention for me."

Ragnor: "Wait, this table and the box of tissues and nuts isn't mine as well!"

Magnus: "But what if my feelings are actually genuine, and just badly timed? Wouldn’t I regret not trying to at least get a date then?"

Ragnor: "I'm not a bloody therapist, Magnus! You setting the stage does not change this!"

Magnus: "So I thought it would be best to get an outside perspective, since I am obviously biased here."

Ragnor: "A pain in my arse is what you are. Go ask Lightwood on a date and take this ugly couch with you."

Magnus: "That is hardly a professional way to talk to your patients. No wonder you have hardly any clients."

Ragnor: "I have no clients at all, just an incredibly annoying best friend who thinks turning my living room into a therapist's office is the best way to ask for advice."

Magnus: "Worst therapist ever. I'm going to write a bad yelp review, just so you know."

Ragnor: "I don’t have a website."

Magnus: "I made you one an hour ago."