#this is ugly as hell

[hantu-burung]

every image of a tawny frogmouth is perfection. i've never seen a single picture of a tawny that dissapoints.

[mcmansionhell]

ode to a faux grecian urn

Howdy everyone,

Today's house, built in 2001, comes to you from, you guessed it, the Chicago suburbs. The house is a testimony to traditional craftsmanship and traditional values (having lots of money.) The cost of painting this house greige is approximately the GDP of Slovenia so the owners have decided to keep it period perfect (beige.) Anyway.

This 5 bedroom, 7.5 bathroom house clocks in at a completely reasonable 12,700 square feet. If you like hulking masses and all-tile interiors, it could be all yours for the reasonable price of $2.65 million.

The problem with having a house that is 12,700 square feet is that they have to go somewhere. At least 500 of them were devoted to this foyer. Despite the size, I consider this a rather cold and lackluster welcome. Cold feet anyone?

The theme of this house is, vaguely, "old stuff." Kind of like if Chuck E Cheese did the sets for Spartacus. Why the dining room is on a platform is a good question. The answer: the American mind desires clearly demarcated space, which, sadly, is verboten in our culture.

The other problem with a 12,700 square foot house is that even huge furniture looks tiny in it.

Entering cheat codes in "Kitchen Building Sim 2000" because I spent my entire $70,000 budget on the island.

Of course, a second sitting room (without television) is warranted. Personally, speaking, I'm team Prince.

I wonder why rich people do this. Surely they must know it's tacky right? That it's giving Liberace? (Ask your parents, kids.) That it's giving Art.com 75% off sale if you enter the code ROMANEMPIRE.

Something about the bathroom really just says "You know what, I give up. Who cares?" But this is not even the worst part of the bathroom...

Not gonna lie, this activates my flight or fight response.

If you remember Raggedy Ann you should probably schedule your first colonoscopy.

Anyways, that does it for the interior. Let's take a nice peek at what's out back.

I love mowing in a line. I love monomaniacal tasks that are lethal to gophers.

Alright, that does it for this edition of McMansion Hell. Back to the book mines for me. Bonus posts up on Patreon soon.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

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[knifegremliin]

hey. hey. what the fuck is this. this is ugly. stop that. i don't want this.

[somewhere2start]

tumblr for mobile what are we doing...

[sia-paskuda]

male MC core

[frankehstein]

I've been to a lot of scary places in my career, and there was no way I was going down those stairs.

HELL HOUSE LLC (2015) dir. Stephen Cognetti

[solargeist]

i can't rly draw it but concept, Grian sees a broken mirror, and it reflects so many little eyes back at him

[hyunsung]

HAN & HYUNJIN / STRAY KIDS 6TH ANNIVERSARY; skz's magic school feast

[woneko]

wonu x shouting in silence

[blueskittlesart]

yeah can i get ummmmmm link but he's a halloween monster. idc which one. follow ur heart

(guy who just answered multiple asks about The Werewolf Show) yeah idk why but im really feeling werewolf

[wiha-jun]

TREVANTE RHODES

via Chris Teague's Instagram (November 2023)

[benzatthanin]

world's worst secret keeper and his keeper

WE ARE | Ep 6

[wonboos]

YOON JEONGHAN in MAESTRO

[toffeebeantable]

Serirei warmth

[hellboys]

negan smith in every episode (9/??) THE WALKING DEAD ↳ 8.01 — mercy

[uncharted-constellations]

Dreaming about them 🥰