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rogueobservation · 4 years

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STARLET

Pairing: president!Steve Rogers x actress!OFC

Summary: Twenty years after the events of 1963, Tony Stark gives an interview for the first time about his incredibly famous wife and her affair with President Rogers.

Warnings: Angst? Vague foreshadowing?

PROLOGUE TO MY SERIES: MR. PRESIDENT.

1983

Rain-swollen clouds drifted high above the skyscrapers, blowing and shifting, teasing patches of blue sky every once and awhile before hiding it again, with the sun trying futilely to burn it all away. She would have hated today. Well, not hated since she didn't believe in hate, but intensely disliked. She survived in the sun, basked in it. A California girl through and through. Today, she would've been curled up in a chair, a blanket hiding her lower half, reading some book she'd swiped from her section of his library. The weather would have pointed her in the direction of Virginia Woolf or Oscar Wilde. The day was warm but the amp spring wind was chilly. As soft as the outer skin of a peach. At the first break of the rain, she would have gone out to sit on the terrace only to be chased back in moments later– returned sulky as a child, slightly damp. He visualized her in the doorway, pouting. In his mind, she looked like a ghost, cast in a hazy, whitish aura by the light rain that pattered the panes of the library window; a contrast against the lurid orange glow of the fire that burned in front of him; the smell of fall against the damp, cold feel of–

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony tilted his head away from the window, two fingers under his chin, and looked at the woman sitting beside him in an adjoining tall, wing-back oxblood leather chair. A stranger, an outsider. A reporter from The New York Bulletin, Karen Page gazed expectantly at him, looking for answers. Truth be told, he didn't know if he was willing to tell them to her... or the public for that matter.

"I drifted off. What did you ask me, Ms. Page?"

"Just a preliminary question, if you don't mind," she glanced down at her notepad that rested on her thigh. "My editor was wondering if you'd be willing to tell me if your daughter will be taking over for you as CEO of Stark Industries? There's a rumor going around that she will."

"A rumor based on what exactly?"

Karen looked up. "She's your only child."

“That I know of,” he japed.

She smiled at that. “The wires picked it up from a–” checking her notes– “’close source’.”

Tony couldn’t help but smirk, albeit weakly. “A close source is the journalistic way of saying assumption."

“No comment then, I guess?”

Tony sighed. “Off the record,” he shifted in his seat, wincing slightly, “my answer is yes. She will.” Better to give her something now, in case nothing comes later, he thought. The reporter was growing frustrated with him, he knew. Did she expect him to pour out the story without a little bit of a nudge? "Look, I'm used to the press being... not amicable to myself or my wife. To my family."

“You summoned me here, sir.”

“I did,” he replied. “Only because I want to do this on my terms. Not yours." There was a pause. "I'm sure you did your research before coming, but what all do you know?"

“What the public knows about it all which is barely anything. All I've found is fabrications and rumors from close sources, but, as you noted, that's assumptions mostly. The truth is too obscure even to be visible at this point," she clicked her pen. "Why haven't you talked about this before?"

“Didn’t feel the need to.”

“You feel the need to now then?”

Tony laughed. "My sixty-six birthday is coming up, Ms. Page. My time is waning and everyone, at this age, has unfinished business they need to take care of. This is mine–” he gestured between himself and her– “It just so happened that you decided to write about all this, about her. I read a few of your past articles and decided that you're genuine about what you're writing. Plus, if you are going to give her story and about what happened, you might as well get the truth about it all."

"From a close source?"

Another laugh. "If you want to put it that way."

Karen’s gaze drifted to the mantel above the fireplace where an array of awards sat; three Oscar statuettes, golden exterior shining brilliantly, at the foreground. In the background, six Golden Globes, two BAFTAs, a few lesser awards. Above them, a stunning, iconic portrait of his wife done by Andy Warhol.

Stark’s art collection was, without a doubt, impressive, lined the walls of his penthouse in SoHo as a reminder that the modern era hadn't entirely escaped him. The space was a time capsule of the golden years of Hollywood; enormous by New York standards and outdated yet still retained a sense of upper class chic with monochrome interior and splashes of tan and bits of color here and there. Barnett Newman’s Stations of the Cross: Fifth Station and Now II were on display in the entry hall and Jackson Pollock’s No. 5, 1948 in the living room, but his office was different. Darker colors. More austere which was strange considering the Warhol Pop Art silkscreen was on display in here. She’d been shocked to see it. A few years ago Sotheby’s had hosted a highly publicized auction of Warhol’s paintings and among the lot had been the artist’s series on Stark’s wife including the famed Icon Diptych (fifty images of Stark’s wife based on a publicity photo from her Oscar winning film, Marionette) and the less renowned Starlet, her favorite of the lot.

The press, of course, as her husband, published that Stark was to buy the series of his wife but nothing had come from the rumor until Sotheby's released a statement that the whole lot of the artist's work had been purchased by a single anonymous buyer for a historic, record-breaking 700 million. Days later, the MoMA stated Icon Diptych was theirs on permanent loan from the buyer and a new member of their “MODERN FAME” exhibition but the outcome of Starlet along with the other ten works of the series turned into a mystery with no evidence of who had bought them.

Well, until ten minutes ago.

When the Icon Diptych was placed in the MoMA, it had turned into one of the most visited pieces of art in the world and was even dubbed by a reporter as the "western Mona Lisa." Fifty images of the actress split into two– the twenty-five images on the left side vibrantly colored with five layers of underpaint (yellow, pink, white, aqua, and orange), unified by a final layer of black paint. The twenty-five images on the right, however, were done on silver underpaint and as the images moved farther to the right, each row faded more and more. Starlet, on the other hand, was the best of both worlds: nine white, black, and pink silkscreen images. The four pink images were of her smiling while the five other black and white images had her looking less than happy. Sad, tearful, haunting even. Images taken at the worst moments of her life. The nine images were supposed to represent the juxtapose of on and off-screen; the closeted version of stardom.

Karen clicked her pen and looked back at Stark: withered, aged by time, worn by life. Although he didn’t look great, he didn’t look like the hermit the media made him out to be. Not skinny or unkempt; no long fingernails or wiry beard. His dark hair was almost all silver now, and a paper-thin hand was clasped around an elaborate golden cane that rested against the arm of his chair. His plain-gold wedding ring hung loosely on a finger that used to clasp it cozily. Lilac tinted sunglasses hid his eyes as he stared at her. No one (the press and public) had seen him in months, not since he left the White House after consulting President Reagan about the Strategic Defense Initiative; photos from that day showed him getting into a black car, looking gaunt, and when he returned to New York a few hours later, the media was waiting for him at the airport, snapping pictures of him giving his ever-so charming grin, throwing a peace sign before getting into another black car. A week after this, major American news published that Stark died peacefully at his SoHo penthouse. This wasn’t taken seriously albeit since the press had published similar stories so many times the public referred to his penthouse as “The Tomb.”

While this hadn't been true, it sparked something in Karen. An article on the extraordinary lives of Tony Stark and his famed, iconic wife. She was still in the research phase of things when, the other day, she got a call. Tony Stark wanted to be interviewed for the piece. How he heard about it, she didn't know. No one but her and her editor knew about it. Ellison, her editor, told her that it was a prank caller. “He wants to do an interview? The Tony Stark?” was his reaction before he broke out into laughter. “That had to have been some punk-kid pulling a joke. No way, Karen. Everyone’s been trying to get him for an interview since 1963.” It hadn’t been until Stark himself called and spoke to Ellison, with her as his specific choice of interviewer, that he’d taken it all seriously. “Do good and you’ll be the next Theodore H. White, but be fucking careful and do not spook him away.”

That had been two hours ago.

Suddenly, Tony cleared his throat and said: “We have to respect his children.”

“Sir?”

“Ms. Page, in my family, what my wife did is not a secret. My daughter, she knows. His children however... I don't think they really know the whole truth of it. Peggy made me promise that none of this would see the light of day while she was alive but now that...”

His voice trailed off. She understood perfectly what he was trying to say: that he didn’t want to hurt Peggy and the President’s children possibly by divulging the story. Guilt, she thought, was the expression on his face. Peggy Carter had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease five years ago and passed away peacefully in her sleep less than seven months ago. Karen frowned sadly. “I understand,” she said, agreeably enough. “I’ll try my best."

"Not try. Do." His eyes looked fixedly at her. "Are you married?"

"No, sir."

"Any kids?"

“No, sir."

Tony waved a hand at her– the wedding ring on his finger twinkling momentarily in the firelight. "You're young, kid. A long time ago, I didn't think I was the marrying type– and maybe that's not your thing but back when I was your age it was strange if a man didn't have a family. I'm not too big headed to be able to admit that I was a playboy. The wayward son, my father used to call me. Never dreamt of settling down with anyone until her. Cliché, but that's the truth of the matter."

"What was your first impression of her?"

He gave a fond smile. "That she was endlessly fascinating."

"Fascinating how?"

Tony seemed not to have heard that. "Are you planning on writing about President Rogers?"

The question felt like a trap. "He's part of her story."

There was a long period of silence before he said: "My wife loved me, I know that, but even all these years later, he's the man who lives with her constantly. Do you understand? We were married. There were vows. We committed to forever together, but now forever includes him."

It almost seemed as though he was talking to himself. Like a message was hidden for her behind his words. "I'm not following–"

"Would you like the fairy tale or the truth?"

Karen didn't know what to say. "I try to give my readers the truth."

"However that's not what they want," he replied curtly. "The truth isn't as glamorous as the fairy tale they've spun in their minds. For them, my wife is either a princess or a homewrecker, but he's forever the prince that touched divinity for such a brief period yet preferred my wife over it."

"And what do you think she is?"

"I can't see it from their third person perspective, Ms. Page. She's just my wife." He looked over at the Starlet painting above the fireplace. "She's a woman who got entangled in the greatest love story of the modern ages." His voice had lost all it’s emotion; stoic, long-since pained. She saw that he had started twisting his wedding ring with his other hand. She suddenly felt sympathetic.

"How would you like to begin?"

"The only way it can." He looked back over at her, slowly removing his tinted sunglasses, his deep brown eyes blank, exhausted, and deeply sighed. "In this room on May 19th, 1962..."

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47pictures · 3 years

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“All-Star”

Link to original r/nosleep post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mv9j9a/for_my_blog_i_toured_a_movie_studio_to_find_the/

________________________________________________________________

I finally made it to Hollywood… at least, I suppose that’s what I’d say if I were trying to make it big. That wasn’t exactly the case, though. On the contrary, my old hometown friend was the one who I’d say ‘made it big,' and she was the only reason I managed to get there. No way in hell I could just stroll through these Hollywood gates without some sort of reputation associated with my name.

I’m currently pursuing a degree in journalism, and right now I’ve got a pretty successful status as a blogger, and hopefully podcaster in the near future. My topics typically cover things involving entertainment, specifically movies, television, some celebrity gossip here-and-there, the ins and outs of the film and occasionally music industry, nerd topics about comic books or comic book movies, and I could go on. Essentially, all the things you’d expect from an entertainment blogger.

I don’t have a secret or special tip for how I grew a mass following. It just sort of happened. I did it since I was in high school - sophomore year, to be exact, and it started mainly as a hobby. Most people are surprised to hear that I was such a good writer and articulate for my age when they look back on the articles I’d put up during that time, speaking on topics such as the ‘downfall of blockbuster films,’ and the ‘toxicity of media's body standards on the youth.’ Truthfully, I didn’t know all of what I was saying half the time. Writing was sort of just my natural gift that I honed to where I could essentially bullshit anything well enough to make a great story. However, being ethical always remained my moral code.

The topic I was covering now involved my own personal ‘investigation’ of a famous movie studio known as Gemini Films. They’ve put out several flicks now that have garnered what most would consider moderate success (they're no Warner Bros. or Paramount, that's for sure). They deal mostly in the thriller/horror genre, sort of like Blumhouse. I’m a bit more in the sci-fi, comedy realm when it comes to my tastes, but really, I’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to scary stuff.

So why am I 'investigating' them? Well, as it turns out, it's their amazing use of special effects. Yep, that’s it. Special effects, that thing we fell for as children we called ‘movie magic,' and growing up learned that some of it were all the crafty work of well-put CGI. Though that’s usually the case, this time, something about Gemini Films seemed different. They’ve always been praised for their ‘hyperrealistic’ visual effects and pulling off stunts that would otherwise seem impossible. I was watching one of their action/horror films titled Last Thorn, and in a particular scene, a character’s on-screen death is, well, very lightly put, gruesome. I’ve seen my share of on-screen gore and played plenty of Mortal Kombat growing up, but I gotta say, I found the scene hard to watch. To clarify, it involved a character literally exploding before the camera, and from the way it was shot and the lack of cuts and edits typically required to create the illusion of a scene, it seemed quite real. A little too real…

They’ve done other things aside from their special effects department that some people on internet discussion forums found a bit too impressive. Take the actors, for instance. In their dramatic scenes, especially the horror flicks, I’m almost always convinced that the actors are actually going to die on screen. I’m surprised all of them haven’t been given Oscars yet, ‘cause goddamn, you’d think the director was holding them at gunpoint. We all saw just how amazing the acting was in films like Hereditary and The Babadook were, but I gotta say, after watching these films, they make those two look like child’s play (no pun intended to the Chucky series). I was so impressed with the actors that I had to look them up and see what other work they’d done, but from what I did find, their resumes didn’t seem that much greater than the work they’d done for GF. It was almost as if that was the peak of their careers unless they decided to further their contracts to star in any more of their movies. Anything else they did pale in comparison that showcased their acting chops.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jamie Douglas.

It had somewhat of household name potential, I thought. She was the next rising star. She’d just won a Golden Globe for her leading role in a TV series I’m sure no one had high hopes for in the beginning, and her name was now attached to an Academy Award-winning film for Best Original Screenplay, all at the age of 22. Her acting was stellar, always had been even growing up back in high school when we did theater together. I was never for the acting side of things; I always preferred the technical realm and behind-the-scenes work. She, however, had the ‘it’ factor. I never once doubted that she’d be famous. It was destined for her.

The taxi driver dropped me off in front of a luxurious one-story home in the Beverly Hills neighborhood, surrounded by other similar houses with a property value larger than what I’d probably make in my lifetime if I was being honest. From the outside, her home reminded me of that gilded, golden age of Hollywood back in the 60s, with a slanted roof and art deco-styled exaggerated features. It was nice and simple. But that’s how Jamie was. Nice and simple.

I could see her peeking through the curtains of her window before she came running out the door to meet me in the front yard. That big beautiful smile and those joyous eyes came rushing at me with open arms.

“Christian!” she screamed my name with excitement, as she gave me a big, suffocating hug.

I hugged her back with my free arm, as my other one was still carrying my trolley bag and she had that one pinned in her grip.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, I made it to Hollywood, right?” I dryly humored.

Jamie giggled as she began to pull back from her hug and put both her hands on my shoulders.

“Yes we did,” she said with a big smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “We sure did.”

She led me inside the house and gave me a tour. Compared to the outside, the inside was the complete opposite in regards to the decorative era. Whereas the exterior was ‘groovy’, the inside was a bit more with the times. Wide-open spaces, tan or beige-colored furniture and walls, a wide sliding door for the backyard where you can see the pool. Jamie recently moved into the house, so I figured there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill it up with just yet.

“Someone said Bette Davis used to live in this house, which I knew was bullshit, otherwise the value on this home woulda been way outta my league,” Jamie commented.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think you’re well on your way, trust me,” I reassured.

I was going to be staying with her for a week while I did my journaling/blogging. We did tons of catching up. She gave me all the inside scoop of what goes on in Hollywood - or ‘Hollyweird’ as I liked to call it - and even some of her other famous neighbors you might recognize living double lives on the down-low. She said she’d been to a couple of big mansion parties as well, where you’ll see all sorts of celebs from different categories of entertainment. Actors, athletes, musicians, models, influencers, you name it. But Jamie insists that she doesn’t attend those very often, if hardly at all. She prefers to be a homebody when she’s not seeking work through her agent, and her extraversion mostly comes to play when it involves networking.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the night we stayed up watching TV and YouTube videos. One that fascinated both of us was a video explaining how scientists managed to find a way to make a perfectly cooked steak from a cow, but without actually harming or slaughtering it. Instead, they extracted a small sample of the cow’s cells and took it to a lab where the cells would essentially grow into muscle for it to be cooked later.

“I’d consider that over going vegan,” Jamie said.

But I grimaced at the thought. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right,” I remarked.

"What, are you vegan?"

"No, not that. Just the thought of cloning animals, ya know?"

“I mean, it’s not like they’re killing the cow or anything. They said it’s perfectly unharmed.”

“I know, but still…”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning was day one for me. Jamie had the right connections to get me an on-set tour of the studio lots associated with Gemini Films. I was greeted and led by the third assistant director (or AD as they’re commonly referred to).

“Hi, I’m Tiffany, nice to meet you,” she said, with a rather forced smile and handshake.

She carried a clipboard in her other arm, as well as a hand-held radio clipped to the pocket of her jeans, and I saw that she also had an earpiece nestled in her right ear. I could tell she was about her business and probably didn’t have time to be overly nice or talk too much.

I got a sneak peek of their most current production under the production title *"*Cold Silence", which required me to sign an NDA beforehand, of course. That wasn't actually their final name for the movie, but it's a common thing for them to do when shooting a film when either they haven't decided on a name yet or to keep the nature of the project a secret. It sort of took me back to my theater tech days with all the set designs and props lying around, except these were much more detailed and intricate thanks to their higher budget than what my high school had at the time. Here, there was limitless potential. Tiffany also introduced me to the other ADs, PAs, boom operators, cameramen, make-up artists, and then last but certainly not least, the director.

“Jeffrey?” Tiffany called to the man sitting in the director’s chair. The man turned to face her and then me. “This is Christian Watkins. He’s the man we’re giving a behind-the-scenes scoop for his… blog?” She looked to me for confirmation, to which I nodded. “Yeah, for his blog.”

The man in the big chair stood up with a cool smile and classy charm and extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, nice to meet you,” the man spoke in a tenor pitch. “Jeffrey Bachmann,” he introduced himself.

I didn’t take too much time last night trying to read up on his bio, but from what I could tell at first glance I knew that he was about in his mid to late fifties, as his hair was greying and skin was starting to wrinkle, and I could see that he had a surprisingly calm and laid-back demeanor. Surprising to me, at least. I always thought directing was a high-paced, chaotic mess that never ceased to present a myriad of complications onset that’d make any man want to pull their hair out. But Jeffrey seemed calm, collected, and very personable.

“Hi, thank you for having me,” I replied. “Seriously, this is like a really cool opportunity for me and my blog.”

“Hey man, it’s my pleasure,” Jeffrey said. “I heard you got a big following behind your name. Props to you. I respect the work ethic, especially giving your readers what they really want to see, ya know?”

I shrugged modestly. “Well thank you, but this time was mostly in my own interest to seek out this idea for my current blog,” I said.

“Ah, an interest in GF, huh?” Jeffrey replied. “Well, what would you like to know? We’ve got nothing but time today. In fact, we’re just getting ready to shoot the mangle scene for today and then we’ll wrap it up before we review the dailies.”

“Mangle scene?”

“Oh yeah, if you’ve got a weak stomach or aren’t into gore you don’t have to watch.”

At least he gave me discretion. “Hmm, I think I’ll tough this one out,” I said. “For the blog.”

Jeffrey gave me a sincere but slightly unsettling grin. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

He was a nice guy so far, but you know how you just meet certain people that for whatever reason, out of their control, their aura seems off? Maybe it was my preconceived notion and warranted cynicism I had of people working in Hollywood. Just a bunch of sharks in a pool with hungry eyes for desperate young talents eager to take a dive in the spotlight. But as I’d imagine with any field, there had to be a decent share of lambs among the many wolves.

Suddenly, one of the makeup artists scampered over to us, their attention directly at Jeffrey.

“Hey,” they said to him with a noticeably fake inflection.

“Hey, what's up?” Jeffrey returned.

“Savannah? She’s losing it back there. Said she wants to talk to you and only you.”

Jeffrey nodded. “Don’t worry, I got it,” he said, as he patted his hand on the MUAs shoulder. He then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Christian, duty calls, but hey, Tiffany?” he looked to the stern AD. “Make sure he gets a front-row view for the martini shot.”

“Yes sir,” Tiffany replied.

Jeffrey and the MUA stepped off to handle whatever business needed handling regarding one of the actresses backstage in the dressing room.

“Martini shot?” I asked.

“Last shot for the day,” Tiffany explained. “For me, that’s a term I like to take literally.”

She seemed so serious all this time that I found the joke almost funny.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was now quiet on the set. Shooting was about to start shortly. At this point in the movie, the main character has a stand-off that turns into a big fight scene with the main bad guy at a warehouse factory building. At first, there’s a gunfight, then eventually they both run out of ammo and it comes down to a fistfight before finally having a standstill on top of a rail just over a giant industrial shredder.

Right now, the actor playing the bad guy, Will, is hanging on for his life over the rail above the shredder, while Thomas, the main good guy, is standing over him victoriously. My question was, is the shredder real? ‘Cause it sure as hell looks like it. It wasn’t turned on yet, but just from a glance it seemed legit enough that if I dropped something as sturdy as a microwave in there, it’d come out jelly on the other end.

For the blog, I told myself. For the blog…

Suddenly, my suspicions were confirmed once Jeffrey called to have the shredder turned on. The machine roared to life, the inverting sharp metal gears rotating past each other being a black hole eating everything that passes through it with no escape. Holy shit. It was actually fucking real.

Jeffrey gave the nod to the 1st AD, and the AD returned the same.

“Action!” the AD called.

Based on what Jeffrey showed me from the script, Thomas is supposed to stomp on Will’s hand that’s gripping onto the edge of the rail, causing him to fall to his death into the shredder. The camera was now rolling, yet, I didn’t see Thomas do the deed. Was he pausing for dramatic effect? Was he acting for the camera? I wasn’t quite sure why he was hesitating.

I peaked over to notice that Jeffrey, the once calm and collected man I met backstage earlier, was now beginning to seem noticeably impatient and about to snap at any moment. There was now that dark edge I noticed about him from before but couldn’t quite put a finger on that I could see now coming to light.

Hesitation filled Thomas’ veins, about to raise his foot, then not, dragging on the scene longer than intended. From this distance, I tried to see Will’s own expression, and I regret ever doing so. Surely he was acting, but I’ll be damned, it was too good. Whatever fear he portrayed transmuted itself into me now. It was the kind of fear that I didn’t think could be replicated on command. Jeffrey stood up from his seat, but just before he could say anything or call ‘cut’, Thomas stomped his foot down on Will’s hand, and we all watched as his fingers slip from the railing. Will sent out a bloodcurdling scream as he plummeted to his ‘death’. What followed will haunt me forever.

Do you know what it sounds like to have a person’s body mangled to death? Have you bitten into the bone of any sort of meat? Heard and felt the crunch? Or maybe even the crunch of celery? I myself have never broken a single bone in my body, but imagining what it might sound like other than what I’d heard in movies or video games all seemed elementary now. At first, I had to look away, but what forced me out of my seat to leave was Will’s horrifying screams. He’d fallen feet first into the shredder, so his lower body had to suffer first before reaching his upper body and finally silencing him at the head.

I ran to find the nearest trashcan and hurled. I guess I really didn’t have the stomach for gore, at least, not to this degree. Will’s screams kept looping in my head. It was a new primal sound that evoked a dread within me that I wish I never discovered. The sound of torment. One thing was for sure, Will was one fucking hell of an actor - if this was acting. But the shredder…

It seemed so real. And there was no greenscreen besides the ones to be used for the background later in post-production. I saw him fall right into the damn thing. With my own eyes. In living color. There were no edits, no crazy tricks, no lighting effects. There couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was sitting down trying to recuperate, as everyone else around me was wrapping up set for the day. Tiffany came over and handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it.

“You feelin’ better?” she asked.

“Hmm,” I answered with a scoff, raising both my eyebrows and taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m surprised you stuck around if you had such a weak stomach. I mean, he at least warned you.”

“I usually don’t. But that?” I shook my head. “How do you guys do it? It looked so real.”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I almost vomited too my first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

If it was a shame to flinch at something so vile, I don’t wanna know what goes on in Jeffrey’s mind to even come up with such a scene. Speaking of which, I still didn’t get a one-on-one interview with him as I’d hoped. All I had was the end result of his ‘movie magic’, but not how he did it. At this point, I'm not sure I really wanna know.

I went to go get my belongings, which were left in one of the dressing rooms, and was stopped by the sound sniffling from the one a couple doors ahead of mine. I looked on the door to read whose room it belonged to. It read: SAVANNAH YOUNG. She was one of the lead actresses in the movie, or rather I should say the only actress in the whole film. With the makeup artist and Jeffrey thing that happened earlier, it was evident to me that something sour had gone on behind the scenes I didn’t know about.

The door was cracked open and I couldn’t see her face entirely from my view, but I knew she was sobbing. She looked to be sitting in front of her mirror. I was about to just ignore it and go on about my business.

I lightly knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” I asked.

She stopped and I could hear her get up and approach the door. She pulled it back just enough to where I could see her whole face. She was beautiful, just like Jamie, even if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah said. “Thank you.”

There was a brief awkward moment of silence between us. Clearly, she wasn’t fine, but I didn’t wish to pry any further than that.

“Are you one of the new PAs?” she asked. I arched a brow. “Production assistant?” she clarified.

“Oh, no, I’m just a visitor,” I assured. “Writing for my blog. I was supposed to be writing about behind-the-scenes things and how it all works around here, but I bitched out from the ‘mangling scene’.”

Savannah gave a short nod. “I see,” she said. “Well… I don’t blame you.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or just from the state that I was in, but her words gave me chills.

“I should get going,” I told her. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and then shut the door.

I got my stuff from the dressing room and got ready to head out. I wonder what could’ve made Savannah so down to where the director had to get involved and set her straight. Jeffrey seemed pleasant to work with at first glance, but who knows, maybe he had a mean streak to him after all, especially the way he looked during the shooting of the scene. God, I just wanted to forget about it. I can’t unhear the sounds. The bones crunching, the blood splattering, and the screaming. The fucking screaming…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I was leaving the studio lot, I noticed the cleaning crew of two men dump a large amount of black bags in the dumpster. From the way they swung the bags over into the bin, the shit didn’t seem light. The bags were in several different sizes, some small, some big, some disproportionate. I stood there and watched as the two men finished disposing of the junk and walked away to go about their other duties.

Regular, common sense me would’ve just picked up the phone, called Jamie to let her know I’m ready to get picked up, and go about my day. But the nosy blogger me kept itching…

I made sure the coast was clear and made my way over to the bin. I can’t believe I was actually dumpster diving, and for what? What did I really expect to find? In my head, I knew the answer, but was avoiding it, either out of how ridiculous it may sound or, God forbid, I was right.

The trash wasn’t stacked high enough from the bottom for me to simply reach, so I had to literally get in there myself. I climbed over on the other end, raised the lid, and jumped down on the piles of plastic bags, holding the lid up with my arm and my breath so I didn’t get a huge whiff of the smell. Though, if I did need to puke again, I supposed this would be the place to do it.

I immediately noticed the bags the men threw away, but in order for me to check what was inside, I’d have to crouch down and let the lid close on me. Fine. That’s what the flashlight on my phone was for. Surrounded in darkness and garbage now, I turned the flash on, illuminating the four dirty walls around me and I pulled back one of the bags. I felt around to try and see what sort of contents might be inside. Mush. It felt all mushy with chunks of solid and a little bit of liquid.

This was stupid, I thought. I realized how stupid I probably looked right then and there, sitting in a bin full of filth looking for clues like some sort of private detective. My followers have no idea how far I’d go, but this was ridiculous. Oh well, I’m too deep in it now, no pun intended.

I held my phone in my mouth as I used my hands to rip open the plastic. My heart began pounding as I slowly pried the bag open. Once I got a peek inside, shame and embarrassment came over me.

Food.

I should’ve just called Jamie to come get me. Had I really become that desperate? I threw the bag over and out of my way. Then I noticed the bag underneath had trickles of fluid. Curious, I shined the light down on it. They were red trickles. Considering how I’d just overreacted only to find a bag full of thrown out lunch, I wasn’t about to get all up in arms about finding red drops behind a Hollywood studio lot. I didn’t know the full recipe for fake blood, but if I recall correctly, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate when they filmed the shower scene from Psycho.

I tried to follow the small trail and see if it led to another bag. I slowly pointed the light further up and it led me to the bag just behind the one I tossed to the side. Looks like it had a small bust that caused it to leak. When I pulled this one over, a very noticeable smell filled my nostrils and erased any other scent of the trash that surrounded me. It was a metallic, rusty sort of odor, like copper from a penny. However, that smell also belonged to something else…

I ripped open the bag, and with the shine of my light beaming down, I was welcomed to a bright crimson sight of mashed blood and guts. It had to be fake, I thought. It had to… but the way I recoiled from the putrid metallic fresh scent of carnage, my primal instincts told me that wasn’t the case. I innately knew that it was real. I was staring at Will’s mangled body.

Frozen from fear, I sat there for who-knows-how-long. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d call the cops first, of course, but they would need evidence, and even then they’d probably dismiss me after I told them I dove into the dumpster of a movie set where fake blood is a common prop. I’d tell Jamie the same, but she’d look at me crazy, too.

I unlocked my phone and started snapping pictures. As much as I could. I even opened some other bags and did the same. I tried to snap every bit of remains that was left of Will and saved them into my phone. It felt like a sick test to see how long I could hold my breath so I wouldn’t gag, and I think I broke a new record that day.

I snapped probably about 47 pictures on my phone before I finally shot up and threw open the bin. The wave of fresh air hit me like a truck, and enjoyed it for only a brief second before turning to see Jeffrey, Tiffany, and the other AD standing by his side. My soul left my body right then and there.

“Christian?” Jeffrey said, sounding concerned.

Fucking say something, I told myself. I did my best not to stutter and look stupid.

“Hey, Jeff,” I said, raising the inflection of my voice, probably sounding dumb.

“Going for a swim there?” Jeffrey joked.

I fake laughed, then put on my best acting skills. “I cannot for the life of me find my ring.”

“Your ring?”

“Yeah, my mom’s ring?”

Then, with the slick subtle motion, I hid my hands to where they couldn’t see them behind the walls of the bin, and with careful coordination used my fingers on my right hand to pull the ring I already had on and flicked it down onto the trash below. I shuffled my feet over the bags I stood on to make noise so they wouldn’t hear the ring drop. Please God, don’t let the ring hit the hard bottom floor or one of the rusty walls, I thought. To my relief, it didn’t.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Christian, I haven’t seen it,” Jeffrey said, as he looked at the other two as they also shook their heads. “But we can definitely look around again and let you know if we find anything.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying not to make my voice tremble with anxiety.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get you outta there,” Jeffrey said, waving his hand over.

I nodded and shot a quick timid smile. I climbed out of the bin and faced the three before me, wiping myself down.

“Hands a little messy there,” Jeffrey said.

Anxiety raced through me again, but adrenaline had my back to make sure I didn’t fuck up by saying anything dumb.

“Oh, the fake blood?” I chortled. “Yeah, you guys lots of that shit in there. Smells like a chocolate factory.”

Jeffrey fell for it, and laughed. Good. But he could just as easily be playing me right now.

“Given how you ran off earlier back there I’m surprised you can stand to look at it, better yet, touch it,” he remarked.

“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered but stayed on track. “It’s just… I now see for myself, no one does it like GF.”

“Haha, you don’t have to flatter me to get back my respect. Don’t sweat it. I totally understand.”

Is that so? I thought.

“You could use that martini shot right about now, huh?” Tiffany joked.

Definitely not with her any time soon. Or any of them, for that matter.

“Well we’re just heading out for the day, you got a ride?” said Jeffrey.

“Yeah, I should probably call Jamie now and let her know I’m done,” I replied.

“It’s no problem, man, I can give you a lift. I can drop you off wherever you need me to.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I insist-”

“Jamie and I got a spa appointment to catch in a bit. Otherwise I appreciate the offer.”

Jeffrey had a brief look in his eyes, a glint of what I could only compare to a wolf’s gaze hiding behind that sheep’s clothing he carried himself around as, and then smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Christian,” he said. “Once again, nice to meet you and I hoped you enjoyed the tour, and hopefully make some good content for your blog.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Thank you so much again. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing, Chris,” Jeffrey said, throwing me off a bit. “Can I call you, Chris?’

I shrugged. “Sure. I mean, I called you Jeff by accident,” I said.

“It’s fine. Chris and Jeff it is.”

I needed to get away from here. Now and as fast as possible. But I still needed to do one more thing.

“Any chance I can wash these off inside?” I said, raising my bloodied hands.

“Oh of course,” Jeff said.

“I can lead him back,” Tiffany said, ready to go with, but Jeffrey stopped her.

“Ah, he knows his way in, right?” Jeff looked to me for reassurance.

“Yeah,” I answered confidently.

“Good, well hopefully I’ll see you around, Chris, and you enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, Jeff. And you all do the same.”

As I walked past them and towards the studio lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being set up. Why hadn’t he let Tiffany escort me back inside? I’d think that would be customary for them to do for visitors entering and exiting the building. But I felt that they were watching me from behind, and with every step, I grew more and more anxious.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’d made it inside and the lot was now nearly empty and quieter. I didn’t see a single person in sight, and only a few lights remained on, making it mostly dark. I hurried the fuck up and did what I came to do, as I didn’t wanna be here any longer and didn’t feel safe.

Down the hall where the dressing rooms were, I rushed over to Savannah’s door, and saw that it was closed. I tried opening it only to see it was locked. Looking down, there was no light shining through the cracks either, meaning there was no one inside. She wasn’t there. Shit.

I washed my hands in the bathroom, scrubbing the dried blood off as thoroughly as possible, getting under nails and all, cringing at the thought of it being Will’s. Suddenly, I heard a noise from outside the hall leading to the bathroom. Petrified, my heart sank into my chest, and I froze. I shut the water off, and carefully approached the door. I listened for any other sounds as I placed my ear closer. After a few moments, I heard the noise again, but then realized that it seemed to be coming from one of the dressing rooms just outside in the hall.

Since I carry a notebook around most of the time for jotting down notes, I certainly always carry a pen. What most people don’t know is that I carry a military tactical pen for a variety of uses, and in times like these, it can be used as a subtle but effective weapon. I switched the tip from an ink ball to a small slick blade.

I opened the bathroom door and crept through the hall over to the dressing room door that made the noise, holding the pen underneath the breast pocket of my sweater. On the outside of the door, it read, “WILL BANKS.”

Confused, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Common sense me once again kept barking in my brain telling me to GTFO, but I had to be sure. I gave three shy knocks and waited. There was definitely someone in there because whatever noise I thought I heard from behind came to an utter halt. I could hear faint whispers of someone’s voice, and then another. There was more than one. My hand trembled as it tightly gripped the pen underneath with sweat as I heard whoever it was on the other end of the door approach.

It swung open, and there stood Will Banks, the man whose blood was just on my hands moments ago, alive and well, in the flesh. It couldn’t be, I thought to myself.

“Can I help you?” he said.

I just stood there, baffled, without answering. Behind him, I saw Savannah, who instantly recognized me and came over.

“Hi,” she said. “I thought everyone left.” She looked to Will. “He was visiting the set today for his vlog, or I’m sorry, blog.”

Will nodded, understanding now. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you. Will Banks,” he said, pointing at his name on the door. “As you can see.” Savannah chuckled, and Will extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, or Chris,” I said, releasing the pen from inside my sweater and reaching my own hand out to take his. "Whichever you please."

He had a firm shake, and it felt uncanny considering what I’d just witnessed. I was touching him, feeling his skin and bone underneath, the warmth of his body temperature through the flesh. He was real. He was alive and breathing. That couldn’t be faked. That couldn’t be a visual effect. This was real. After we let go, suddenly my hand went cold. Everything about this seemed off and downright strange.

“Did you stick around for the shoot?” Will asked.

“I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, what’d you think?”

I wanted to say so many things right then and there, he had no idea.

“Um... y’all are some damn good actors,” I said.

Will laughed a bit, accepting my sham form of flattery, but Savannah, not so much. She gave one of those forced gestures as to not make it feel awkward, though, I noticed it right away.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“I would give you some artistic bullshit answer like ‘study your craft’ or ‘years of training,' things like that, but honestly… it just kinda clicks, ya know?”

I fake chuckled. “No, I don’t. It looked kinda real from my end. Too real, I might add. Care to go into detail how you guys pulled it off?”

“Well, uh-”

Savannah interrupted. “Wait, you know what Jeffrey would say,” she whispered to him.

“I know, but it’s for his blog,” Will argued.

“But still.”

“I mean, Jeffrey’s not here, right?” I chimed in.

They both looked at me, then at each other. There seemed to be some sort of nonverbal understanding between them, and Will looked back at me.

“All right, for the sake of your blog, I’ll give you what I can to the best of my wording, that sound good?” Will proposed.

I took the pen back out from inside, switching it to the ink ball with a short click, and whipped out my small notebook. “Hit me,” I said.

“Get ready for this one. Basically, we’ve been using a new thing in the biz lately sort of like mocap but it’s not exactly. It’s also kinda like hologram sort of tech?”

“Really?” I said, eyes widened with interest as I wrote words down.

“Yep. That’s how we did it. What you saw, was as real as the hologram thingamajig allowed you to.”

“Hmm.”

“The shredder, too.”

“What?”

“The shredder. That was a hologram also.”

“Really? Okay…”

I finished writing on my notepad then turned it so that Will could read it.

BITE ME, I wrote with a big circle around it.

He laughed. Savannah did, too, but, again, in a strange nervous and restrained demeanor.

“That’s a nice story,” I said. “So if you’re ready to quit bullshitting with me, and tell the truth, I’m ready,” I spoke in a playful yet no-nonsense tone. “How’d you do it?”

“You’re good, man,” Will said with a smile, pointing his finger at me. “Like a true journalist.”

Any other day I’d be pleased to hear that, but I was serious. I needed to know, so much that I’d forgotten how long I’d actually been here. I told myself I was gonna leave as soon as I could, but now, for some reason after talking with Will and seeing how personable and genuine he came off, he put me a bit at ease. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. But then the screams echoed in my head again, and the smell...

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” I said.

“Look, I wish I could, honestly, but if I did, Jeffrey may not be too happy with either of us,” Will responded sincerely. That much was true, I could tell.

“All right, I think I tortured you enough,” I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words.

“No worries, man. Nice meetin’ ya. Good luck with the blog.”

“Thanks.”

I looked at Savannah one last time, and she looked back with a serious and almost scary gaze as though she needed to tell me something very bad. That’s who I came back for anyways. But that opportunity was a lost cause now, as I left with nothing and still no understanding of how Gemini Films did their visual effects? And I lost my mother’s ring. Fuck, I didn’t have time to go get it right now. I didn’t wanna risk being seen again. Hopefully, Jeffrey keeps his word and they somehow manage to give it back. That being said, I'd be fine with not having to see him ever again.

Whose blood was that? Whose body was that in the dumpster? Was it real? Was it actually just that well made to where the average person could be fooled into thinking it was actual flesh? Who’d go through the trouble of all that?

The screams of losing your life inch by inch, the sounds that would haunt me forever. And the smell of what was inside that bag. That instinctual gut feeling… how was it not real?

#writing #story #horror #nosleep #horror stories

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02/11/2021 DAB Transcript

Exodus 32:1-33:23, Matthew 26:69-27:14, Psalms 33:1-11, Proverbs 8:33-36

Today is the 11th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is an honor and a privilege, it is a joy to come in out of the cold and come around the Global Campfire together with you and just let it go, let any…any of the things that are pulling us in all kinds of negative directions just let them go for a minute and let this be an oasis for God's word, for the Scriptures to be read and for us to bring them into our minds and hearts. I will say it probably 100 times before this year’s over. I mean we don't have to drag the anxiety in here. This is a safe place. We’re here together. We’re here together for one reason. We don’t have to guard ourselves. We’re here together for one reason, to hear the Scriptures. We can go back into the anxiety when we’re done, We can even amp it up. We can leave here as if it doesn't matter and go right back and pick all that up or maybe we can catch our breath in here and maybe we can go back out into the world with a renewed perspective and that happens more than it doesn’t. And, so, let’s just let go, whatever’s going on. We just have a few minutes. We can take a break. If we want all that anxiousness, if we want all that depression, we can go pick it back up. But we can let go while we’re in here and see what God does through His…His word today. So, we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week going back to the book of Exodus and God has been meeting with Moses on the top of Mount Sinai. He has been laying out the expectations and weaving together the tapestry of a culture that will be formed out of these former slaves who…who are Hebrew people. He’s reforming them and the people have been all around the mountain freaking out. Moses has been gone a long time up in the clouds, the…the glory of the Lord upon the mountain. And, so, they don't know what's going on. And we’re gonna see…we’re gonna some things today that shouldn't have happened and we’re going to see ourself in those things. Exodus chapters 32 and 33 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of Exodus, the story of the golden calf, that's a pretty famous story. And so…well…chances are we've encountered it in one way or another before. This happens because Moses has been gone too long in the presence of God hearing from the Lord what he, you know, how to lead the people and what the expectations are, all the stuff that we’ve been reading for the last several days. Meanwhile this…this whole thing takes 40 days, and the people are down around the mountain going, “whatever happened Moses?” And “where do we go from here because we don't know what happened to him?” And, so, they decide to make a god, the gods for themselves to lead them forward and leave Moses behind. And, so, they commission Aaron. And we know this will story. Then God tells Moses to go down and Moses goes down and he throws down the tablets and they shatter, and this visually represents the breaking, like almost the instantaneous breaking of the covenant, the breaking of the law of the expectations of God. And he confronts the people about their idol worship. He confronts his brother Aaron about their idol worship. Aaron does all this whole back side-stepping blurring of the whole situation that we’ve probably seen so many times in our lives or even done so many times in our lives. Aaron is directly confronted about what he has participated in and he’s like, “what? How? You know. What? You know how these people are. You know how they are. And I don't really know what I did wrong. I just told them give me all your jewelry and I threw it over here in the fire and out came this idol and so we worshiped it”, which of course…I mean…it’s like, “dude couldn’t you’ve…you don't think very quickly on your feet do you? Like we can all see through this.” And Moses is just exasperated. He has been in the presence of God receiving this revelation about this people and formation. And, so, it's like quite a contrast to come down off the mountain and see what's going on. So, he grinds up the…the golden calf and everybody has to drink the water that it's poured into and then Moses goes back up onto the mountain and it gets really interesting because Moses is back up on the mountain kinda changed. Like he knows how ornery and rebellious these people are. He's one of them. He knows, but it’s like things just went to a new level. God has done so many miraculous things to rescue and protect this people. And they are around this mountain that God is descended upon and spoken. Like they’ve heard the voice of God at this mountain. It terrified them to the point that they asked Moses to be the spokesman for God and not God be the spokesman for God. So, they know God is upon this mountain and they know Moses is upon this mountain. So, Moses is back up on the mountain and God is like, “I'm not gonna go with you. It’s time…you need to lead to people but I'm not going to go so I don't destroy the people.” This is like a whole change in complexion for Moses where he's realizing deeply the gravity of the situation. He's realizing for himself no matter how good of a leader he might be and no matter how revered he may be, he's got almost 0% chance of success. Like if God doesn't go this is not gonna work knows it. So, he's pleading and asking like, “if you don't want to go then just take me out of the story altogether because there's no way.” And Moses says something really really riveting that we should be saying and meditating upon. He says, “you said” so, he's speaking to God, “you said I know you by name.” In other words, Moses is saying, “you told me you knew who I was. And you also told me that you found favor with me. So, if indeed I have found favor with you” and I'm quoting here, “please teach me your ways and I will know you so that I might find favor with you.” God's response to that is “my presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” May we remember that as we go out into the chaos of the day. Like if we’re gonna pick all that stuff up we were just talking about at the beginning, may we remember Moses and his leadership here. We don't have a grandstander, we don't have an arrogant person, we don't have a power-hungry person here and Moses. We’re seeing a leadership style here in the Scriptures as we see the posture of Moses. And Moses is a human being and has done all kinds of things including asking God to send somebody else, but here we are. We've gone through all that, and now Moses reaches this point where he realizes very clearly, there really is no other way to lead or navigate life without an acute awareness of the utter dependence that we have on God. And when we acknowledge that then we are surrendering our own power and control into the hands of the Almighty knowing that there is no other way. And God responds, “my presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” May we remember that today.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come into that. When we surrender it feels counterintuitive because it feels like we have to put our hope and trust outside of what we can control or speculate or see it forces us into this other realm called faith, that we believe in what we can’t see or prove, that we believe in Your power, that You are mighty to save and we are not. We need to know this. We need to live this. It could rescue us from so much damage. So, come Holy Spirit and help us learn to surrender. Help of us learn to acknowledge You in all things as we are seeing built into this culture may we find all of the things that will continually remind us of Your goodness and make them a part of our practice as we are continually reminded of who we are, Your children, and who You are, the most-high God and where we are going -wherever You go where all things are made new. Come Holy Spirit we pray in Jesus name, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that is home base, that is that where you find out what's going on around here and how to get connected and how to find the resources that are available that surround this journey through the Bible that we are on. So, check that out. Of course, if you have the Daily Audio Bible app then you can check most of these things out as well said, so, indeed do that.

One thing that's in the app or on the web would be the Community section. This is where to begin to get connected. This is where the Prayer Wall lives. This is where we can always reach out to each other and reach back to each other. Also in the Community section are different links of places to be connected on social media. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we share collectively to do what we’re doing and bring God's spoken word read fresh every day and offered to anyone who will listen anywhere any time then to build community around that so that we’re never alone and we’re aware of that, clearly aware of that. If that has been a life-giving source to you than thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, everyone it's Christy and this is Tim from Kentucky. We wanted to call and let you know that we are keeping each of you in our prayers as we hear your prayer requests and I just want to say as special hello to Abigail and Desiree in Golden. I just want you to know that we have been listening and praying along with you and your names are just etched on my heart lately, just such young people with so much faithfulness to call in and we thank you so very much and will be praying for each of you. Also, I just want to let Tiffany know that we will be praying for you and Tom and also for Emily. Just all of your calls were so heartfelt. And we want you to know that your family, your DAB family is lifting you up in prayer. Also, Kingdom Seeker Daniel, brother we are praying for you. You and your wife are so very special and just praying for your children and we too are battling some issues with my husband's children. So, we understand, and we are praying for you. Also, if you would please keep Chris Thurston’s family in your prayers Pam Carlyle’s family in your prayers, Gene and also Dottie one of the ladies from our church. We…we've had to say goodbye to four of those in the past month. And, so, if you would, we'd ask you to pray for them and I just thank you for that. They’re now home with Jesus. I just wanted to ask for your prayers. Alright everyone. We love you so much and we pray each of you are having a most blessed and lovely day.

Hi, everyone it's Desiree. I called in January regarding about my mother with the drug addiction. I want to thank all…all of you guys who have been praying for my mother. She is still the same. I’ve been getting…I've been listening to all the prayers that you guys have done they melt my heart. And I want to say thank you to all of you guys, even though you may not call, thank you though for keeping Her and I in your hearts Lord. I'm thanking the Lord for all that. So, after I submitted my video, I just want to say she…after some of your prayers that you've done, she called after 8 months of not knowing what was going on with her. So, that was a big crazy time for us. And with all that's been going on though I want to say that you guys hit it right on the nail. I mean, my life has been so much better living here with my aunt and uncle. My grades are good. I'm an A, B student A+ B+ student. I still have problems with school you know that teenage little attitude. So…so, I just…I'm getting to know God so much more than I've known before. And I just want to say that’s thanks to my parents…well…my adopted parents but it's all because of them and mostly because of God. So, I just want to say thank you to all of you guys that have been praying for us and I love you guys and I'll be listening to you guys and I just want to say I'm praying for you guys as well, who have been having problems. So…

Hi, this message is for Tyler from the February 8th podcast of the Daily Audio Bible. My name is Jessica from __ California and I just wanted to say a prayer for you. You said that you've been praying because you have a pitiful spirit. And I just wanted to let you know or share that God's been working with me lately. Those are thoughts from the enemy and every time I think about, you know, I need to lose weight or condemn myself for eating something or not exercising enough, God's been just having me repeat this over and over again when one of those thoughts comes in my head. He has me say, “thank you God for just the way I am. Thank you God for just the way I am.” And I know it sounds kinda silly but actually it's only been less than a week and these thoughts are coming less and less into my mind. So, you know, I know it's hard to love ourselves sometimes and the enemy really can get ahold of us but just know that Jesus loves you so much and you're not a beautiful spirit. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And I know people have told me that before and I'm like, “sure, sure. Easy for you to say.” But really, just believe it and just like right now actually have…I have a sheet covering my mirror, so I don't look at myself, I don't judge myself every day. I know it kind of sounds weird, but he really just has me trusting him and saying, “thank you God for just the way I am. Thank you God for just the way I am.” So, I encourage you Tyler that God loves you just the way you are, and you should be thankful for it. In Jesus’ name I pray.

This is Dave from the United States calling. This prayer call is for Haneron from New Zealand. Once I heard your call it stopped me in my tracks. You've been through some tough times. You've had the strength to call in and ask for prayer. And in detail you asked for a covering. I will be covering. This family, Daily Audio Bible will be your covering and the Holy Spirit will be your covering. I pray that you continue to call in anytime that you need strength from your covering. We will be here. And anytime give this family a call. Someone on this planet will be praying for you. I'm going to commit to a day to pray and fast for you and your family and the Holy Spirit be there for you. Thank you so much for calling and giving me the opportunity to ask our savior to pray and cover you and keep you…keep you covered as your request is.

Hi DAB family this is triple T calling to encourage those of you today who are longing for a spouse, longing for a child, longing for friendships just to be surrounded by love in a like tangible way. I know leading up to Valentine's Day and that time frame is always quite difficult on people. I have many people in my life who are struggling and just want to encourage you guys, just press into the Lord and to seek Him and just to keep going after Him and letting him be or strength, your love, you're all in all. In psalms 34 17 and 18 it says the righteous cry out and the Lord hears them. He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. So, Lord we just come to You right now. God, I thank You for these men and women across the globe. God You see their hearts, You hear the cry of their hearts Lord longing for a spouse, longing for a child, longing for a friend that they can walk through life with. God we just pray that You would open the doors of opportunity, Lord that You would give men wives and give women husbands Lord Jesus and give them together children Lord Jesus, that You would bring friendships that are unified Lord and strong and growing and encouraging and accountable Lord and just pressing into You God. Through all these things and their waiting in Your time and God we know Your timing is perfect. May You give them the strength to continue, may they press into You even more. Lord Jesus may You be their everything. All that they are, all that they have Lord may they press into You. We love You, we glorify Your name Jesus, for in Your name we pray all these things. Blessings and love. Bye.

Good morning DAB family this is Doctor John in Illinois good this morning I was listening to the prayers and I hear Greg from Washington. Brother it’s hard to hear all your troubles in your families but I guess what I hear…what I hear most of all is your love for your family and your concern. Again, your honestness and your contriteness is what I hear more than anything. And I want to read to you, this is psalms 57:15. For thus says the one who is high lifted up who inhabits eternity whose name is holy, I dwell in a high and holy place had also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. Just know brother that He hears here. The word says there's nothing outside His hand. There's nothing He doesn't see or touch or hear. And Father I pray for my brother right now for Greg and for all these Lord that petition you for their families. Lord would you woo their hearts. Just know brother that there's a lot of people, a lot of brothers and sisters in this group, in this family, this wonderful family that are praying and believing for you that God will make a way for you. So, I pray, God bless you. Keep your head up and trust in God. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage for He strengthens your heart.

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lumina-chronicles · 5 years

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The Lumina Chronicles (A Writeblr Intro-Post Thingy)

Okay so, I love character asks/tag games and interracting with the writeblr community, but I realized I only sporadically talk about my work and my characters. I figured it was high time I compile everything in one easily accessible post.

I’m not entirely sure the best way to go about this so I’ll try my best. Have mercy on me and please feel free to ask any questions you may have!

This is going to be a stream of conscious BEAST so I appologize in advance for any and all typos, and for all the times I’ll no doubt bounce around and probably forget things. In order to not clutter up dashes and make everyone hate me, everything will be under the cut :)

_____________

THE STORY

(credit to the amaaaazingly talented mari_gdraws on instagram for this stunning cover. Go commission her, its worth it.)

First thing’s first, this is a Portal Fantasy. If you don’t know what that means, think Alice in Wonderland, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Wizard of Oz, any story where someone from our world gets transported by magical means (usually by accident but not always) to a fantasy world.

Second, I have been working on different variations of this series for over a decade. I started writing the first itteration of this concept when I was a 13 year old weirdo who thought I was the greatest thing to ever happen to writing. (Hint: I wasn’t. I still am not, but at least I’ve grown enough to recognize that.) I may share snippets of the original 2009 draft sometime, but be warned its steaming hot garbage. Good for a laugh though. tl;dr, I’ve been working on this story for too long, but these characters are my babies and I refuse to quit until I give them the story they deserve.

ELEVATOR PITCH

MAGGIE is a college girl who just wants to paint, stuck in a fantasy world with more ties to her life than she realizes. KINDLE is a wayward dragon dealing with PTSD, an obsessive fairy queen, and a stalling rebellion. ELLE, who wants nothing more than to find her missing best friend, is stuck babysitting (not literally) an angel (literally.)

^^^^^This is the really bad summary I have up on wattpad. The story is so much more than this but I’ve never been good at simplifying, hence 100k+ words of novel.

WHAT THE STORY ACTUALLY IS

Blood vs Bonds. (What really makes a family?)

A central cast who were children during a massive, life-altering war, now trying to pick up the pieces.

Found Family goodness out the wahzoo. (There is a mermaid adopting you as we speak. Her name is Faye and she’s your mom now, welcome to the family.)

A fox and a tree dating. They’re lesbians. I love them.

Not at all thinnly veiled bashing of imperialism, nationalism, and racism.

A few heavy concepts that I feel don’t get enough attention in media (pm me if you’d like to know since I don’t feel comfortable elaborating here, I’ll provide trigger warnings before explaining anything in-depth.)

The greatest bromance of all time, between a tired gen-Z nerd and a literal angel who doesn’t know how electricity works.

Said literal angel becoming obsessed with pokemon.

A moody dragon who loves to bake, and his ghost bff judging your every move.

A dozen angsty conversations masquerading as a fantasy novel.

On the subject of masquerades, one of those happens too. What can I say, I’m weak.

The slowest of slow burn ships.

Time travel shenanigans.

Me, pouring all of my love and tears and blood into one singular project for over a decade, unabashedly celebrating every trope I love and telling the story teen me needed.

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THE WORLD

So this is the map of the “known world” for the planet I refer to as Ragilora. This name is never used in the canon of my stories and it stems from an inside joke, but its a lot easier to say than “*gestures vaguely* The Planet.”

I am one of those authors who writes several unconnected series all set in the same fictional world, but for now, since I’m only talking about the Lumina Chronicles, we’re focusing on thiiiiiis chunk of the map right here:

This chunk of land (which 13-year-old-me dubbed “The Shadow Realm,” 18-year-old-me expanded to the “’much more impressive’ Realm Under Twin Shadows,” and 22-year-old-me just refers to as “The SR”) is the only location we pay any attention to in the Lumina Chronicles, which (surprise, surprise) focuses on the conflicts between Lumina and the territories surrounding it.

Important side note, Ragilora has two moons, hence the “twin shadows” thing. The moons come up a lot over the course of the story, especially since one of the cultures (Nox) believes their queen is a reincarnation of one of those moons.

MOST IMPORTANT LOCATIONS

LUMINA

The human kingdom ruled by the Lousvar family. Self-important racist a-holes who took over most of the realm during the Orphaner’s War nine years ago. King Jareth Lousvar (the aformentioned Orphaner) hasn’t been seen in years, so who’s really running the nation? Your guess is as good as mine. That’s a lie, of course I know.

IGNUS

Once the private, gorgeous desert home of the dragons, ruled by the Danthragnir clan. They were the main targets of the Orphaner’s War, and now Ignus sits as mostly unoccupied ruins. The dragons who surived the seige now live in hiding or are enslaved in Lumina. Their religion is my favorite of all the cultures in the story, and I’ll talk to you about it if you want, but I don’t wanna ramble here lol.

NOX

The queendom of the fairies, not rules by any particular family. The current queen in Lydia D’Norse, Queen Lydianna Chrysanthus D’Norse, Mother of Her People, the Moon Made Flesh. This is the territory of magical moon-worshipping lesbians. Fairies are great, they’re my favorite race in the Lumina Chronicles.

SPECIES/RACES

Human- Just your standard, magic-free human. Identifiable by their brown eyes. Any skintone/haircolor that can be found in nature. (A rare few have other colors for eyes, but that just means they aren’t fully human and will probably be shamed for this fact.) They hail from Lumina. Average height 5′9″. Average lifespan 70-80yrs.

Dragon- Generally dark skinned with dark hair, identifiable by their Firestone (a comination of red/orange/gold/black that shifts and flickers like flames) eyes. Basically firebenders who can transform into the giant, winged lizards you think of when you imagine dragons. Almost all dragons have black scales in dragon form, though some have dark red or a sandy brown. From Ignus. Average height 6′6″, Average lifespan 80-90yrs.

Angel- Generally pale skinned with either black or blonde hair, identifiable by their blue eyes and the fan of feathers behind their ears. Angels are a highly intelligent, long-lived species with massive feathered wings (either irridecent black if they have black hair, or white if they have blonde hair.) All angels have perfect recall and photographic memories, which is helpful for their self-imposed job as the Realm’s unbiased recordkeepers. They soulbond (explained in more detail further down.) From Aeterna. Average height 6′, Average lifespan 180-200yrs.

Merfolk- All varieties of skintone and hair color, identifiable by the colorful scales around their green eyes (and the eyes themselves if living in a situation where scales ahve been forcibly removed.) While preferring to live out the majority of their lives underwater, merfolk must travel to land to reproduce. While on land, they have legs. As soon as their feet come in contact with water, they go back to having a tail. All merfolk wear skirts on land regardless of gender (could you imagine wearing jeans and accidentally stepping in a puddle and then your legs try to form into a tail with the fabric between them? Ouch.) From Siaboras and the surrounding waters. Average height 5′4″, Average lifespan 70-80yrs.

Fairy- Generally pale skinned, all fairies have long pointed years, silver hair, and violet eyes. While they no longer posess wings, all fairies have the ability to produce a mind-altering magic known as “venom.” This venom is administered to a target through contact with the fairy’s skin, and can produce results ranging from euphoria and hallucinations to severe pain, memory alteration, and even death. Results depend on the specific fairy and the dosage of venom. A pregnant female fairy can produce a hazy purple cloud of venom outside their body to better protect themselves and their unborn child. Use of fairy venom as a recreational drug is outlawed (doesn’t stop fairy dens from popping up all over Lumina’s slums though.) From Nox. Average height 4′9″, Average lifespan 45-50yrs.

Shifter- All varieties of skintone and hair color, some that may not occur in humans. Identifiable by their golden eyes. While dragons mostly occupy their human form and can shift into giant lizards, Shifters are animals who can take human form. Their human form in some way resembles their animal form. Most prefer to be in their animal form and only take human form for the purpose of hunting larger prey or communicating with other species/variants of shifter. Others have chosen to completely integrate themselves into non-Shifter society and spend the majority of their time in human form. From the Wildlands. Average height 5′9″, Average lifespan 70-80yrs.

Dryad- All dryads have brown/bark-colored skin and leaves for hair. Depending on the type of tree they come from, the length/thickness/color/style of this leaf-hair can vary. When a tree has fed off the magic of the realm for long enough, they develop the ability to take on a human form, and can shift between that and their tree form. They can feel emotion and learn language just as all other species/races, but they tend to be slightly more detached by default. From the Wildlands. Average height (in human form) 6′, Average lifespan uknown. A dryad will live as long as their grove lives. If their human form in destroyed, they can be replanted and will eventually regrow.

OTHER IMPORTANT INFO

A few notes, mostly on sexuality in the Shadow Realm:

- Bisexuality is considered to be “the default” just as heterosexuality is treated in our society. There are still people with preferences for one gender or another, but most just assume that if you don’t specify otherwise, you’re bi.

- All angels are some variation of Ace/Demi/Gray-sexual. They mate for life in a process known as “soulbonding” to the first person they are sexually intimate with, literally joining their lifespans and spirits forever.

- Soulbonded partners can communicate telepathically and access a shared memory-bank, including access to skills and languages.

- It is perfectly valid for an angel to choose never to soulbond, and some choose to soulbond with a beloved friend rather than a romantic partner.

- Dryads have no sex organs and are genderless by default. Some choose to present as feminine/masculine or use pronouns, but that’s a matter of preference and not neccessity.

- All species can interbreed, but there are no “mixed-breeds.” Meaning if a dragon and a mermaid were to reproduce, the results wouldn’t be a mer-dragon with the abilites/traits of both parents, the resulting child would be either a full-dragon or full-merfolk depending on the sex of the parents.

Expanding on the above point, each species is either male or female dominant, with dominant meaning which sex of parent determines the species of their child with interbreeding. Dragons, Shifters, and Humans are male dominant. Angels, Merfolk, and Fairies are female dominant. Examples:

Male Human + Female Dragon = human child (with red-tinted brown eyes)

Female Human + Male Dragon = dragon child (with slightly duller firestone eyes)

Female Human + Male Fairy = coin-toss child (because humans are male dominant and fairies are female dominant, this duo would cancel each other out and the child would either be a fairy or a human.)

_____________

THE CHARACTERS (aka the real reason I made this masterpost)

all character art by needlessly_cryptic

NARRATORS

The three protagonists of the series. Maggie is our portal-hopper, having travelled from our present day world to the fantasy world of the SR. Kindle is one of the few surviving dragons and has never known any world but the SR. Elle, also from our world, spends the whole book in our world trying to figure out wtf happened to Maggie, while also dealing with Marc (an angel from the SR who came to our world around the same time Maggie vanished.)

^ Magdalyn, she/her, Human, 20yrs old. Heterosexual. ^

^ Kindle, he/him, Dragon, 22yrs old. Asexual. ^

^ Estelle, she/her, Human, 19yrs old. Bisexual. ^

ELLE’S PARTNER IN CRIME

Formerly of the Abandoned Order, now trapped in our world with no idea what to do or how to get back. He gets his own segment because I can’t really put him anywhere else. (Those are feathers behind his ears.)

^ Marcellus, he/him, Angel, 20yrs old. Biromantic Asexual. ^

THE ABANDONED ORDER

A ragtag group of former war-orphans and child-soldiers trying to pick up the pieces after the war’s end, and finding the strength in each other to take back their stolen home lands from the oppressive kingdom of Lumina. Kindle’s family. Maggie’s... well she’s not quite sure.

ALLIES

^ Faye, she/her, Mermaid, 26yrs old. Bisexual. Soulbonded to Seraphim.^

^ Carlyle, he/him or they/them, Ghost (former human), forever 20yrs old. Biromantic Asexual. ^

(A note on Carlyle: they can only be seen/heard by Kindle and later Maggie.)

^ Pina, She/her, Mermaid, 17yrs old. Lesbian. ^

^ Em, She/her, Dryad, ???yrs old. Lesbian. Married to Inari. ^

^ Rhiannon, She/her, Angel, 24yrs old. Biromantic Demisexual. Soulbonded to Isidor. ^

^ Izzy, He/him (trans), Fairy, 23yrs old. Heterosexual. Soulbonded to Rhiannon.^

ENEMIES(?)

^ Lydia, she/her, Fairy, 18yrs old. Bisexual. “Soulbonded” to Seraphim. ^

^Ser, he/him, Angel, 25yrs old. Biromantic Asexual. Soulbonded to Faye Lydia.^

^ Jakoby, he/him, Shifter(snake), 27yrs old. Lydia-sexual. ^

^ Nar, she/her, Shifter(fox), 23yrs old. Lesbian. Married to Emrys. ^

LUMINA

The children of the victors. Are they all as bad as their parents, or will they become part of the change and strive towards a better future? *shrug*

^ Cas, he/him, Human, 20yrs old. Bisexual. My son. ^

^ Rainette, she/her, Human, 17yrs old. Heterosexual. Betrothed to Favaro. ^

^ Juju, he/him, Human, 24 yrs old. Gay. Bodyguard to Prince Cas. ^

^ Tobi, he/him, Human, 18yrs old. Bisexual. Bodyguard and boyfriend to Princess Raini. ^

^ Ander, he/him, Human, 21yrs old. Gay especially for Julian. ^

^ Favaro, he/him, Human, 22yrs old. Asexual and Aromantic. Betrothed to Princess Raini. ^

PRECIOUS CHILD WHO ISN’T INTRODUCED UNTIL BOOK TWO

^ Khatalanya, she/her, Dragon, 16yrs old. Lesbian. In love with VENGEANCE. ^

_______________

IN CONCLUSION

this really was a dumpster fire lol. If you would like to know more about specific characters or races or aspects of my world, feel free to ask! I’m gonna link this to an easily accessible part of my profile somehow. But yeah, mostly just admire my children. I love them all, even the horrible ones.

#writeblr #intro post #wip: the lumina chronicles #am writing #fantasy #my ocs #art #not my art but my babies

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birdouttahell-blog · 6 years

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LONG ASS FUCKING RANT; Y’ALL HAVE BEEN WARNED

I have a metric shit-ton of problems with Injustice, and the following is my biggest one;

One of Batman’s quintessential qualities, is that he sees the best in everyone. For that reason, he will never give up on reforming even the most horrid of his rouges gallery. The Killing Joke supports this, as Batman tells the Joker, “We could work together. I could rehabilitate you. You needn’t be out there on the edge any more. You needn’t be alone” (Batman: The Killing Joke, Alan Moore and Brian Boland). This concept even shows up in other media, such as Arkham Knight. When Jason tries to tell Bruce that he is forever broken, Batman simply tells him, “It’s not too late. We can fix this... Together” (Batman: Arkham Knight, 2015). The point is, no matter what, Batman will always see the best in his enemies, and that’s why he doesn’t kill them.

Going off the second example, Batman is also, though not always, a good father. His basis for refusing Earth 2 Kal-L’s offer to return the DC Universe to it’s more golden age-esque state in Infinite Crisis is entirely based off Dick Grayson, his son. Going off of that, he also, though disagreeing with Jason Todd’s methods, welcomed him back into the Bat-Family. When he discovered that Tim Drake was alive and well, but captured by Mister Oz, Bruce searched tooth and nail for Tim. When Damian died, Batman fought with everything he had to bring him back to life, or to at the very least, recover his body from Ra’s so Damian’s spirit would be at peace. And, when Clayface was killed in Detective Comics, Bruce gave Cassandra Cain therapy for her grief. His children, and his family, are very important to him as a human being. This is why before he went on a suicide mission to recover Damian and bring him back to life, he gathered the family and made amends with them, promising to tell the truth and the whole truth. Though Bruce Wayne isn’t always a good parent, he always tries to be, because all of his children are very important to him. After all this is a man who watched his parents get gunned down in front of him. Family is obviously something he does not want to let go of.

Everything I said in the previous two paragraphs, however, does not apply to Injustice!Bruce. And all of this can be seen in how he treats his blood son, Damian.

When Batman and Nightwing go to Arkham Asylum to stop Superman from taking the inmates and their fates into his own hands, Damian questions whether or not Superman has a point in what he’s doing. While this was a time-sensitive matter, Bruce; instead of trying to see Damian’s point, commands his son to get into the plane instead. This compounds in Harley breaking out all of Arkham’s inmates, and, in the carnage, Damian accidentally kills Dick. As Damian is explaining what happens, and apologizing, Bruce simply shouts at Damian to get away, leaving Superman to comfort Damian, reassuring the thirteen year old that this was an accident. At a later time, Damian returns to the Bat-Cave, seeking forgiveness. Instead of trying to talk to his son, and see the man he could become, Bruce simply asks what Damian’s doing in the cave, prompting Damian to leave. It’s only at the behest of Alfred, that Bruce lets Damian stay. When Damian questions why he was left at Arkham, alone, Bruce tells him that it’s because Damian chose to stand with Superman. When Damian tells his father that he is refusing to see past his own morality, Bruce tries to deflect, saying it’s bot about him. Damian goes off on him, telling Bruce that, “Of course it’s about you! It’s always all about you. Your crusade. Your pain. Your parents who died. Your way. Your rules. Your legacy. Your impossible standards!” (Injustice: Year One #27, Tom Taylor and Jheremy Raapack). When Damian, enraged, accidentally strikes Alfred, Bruce moves himself in to strike Damian, who defends himself in turn. What this reveals, is that to Injustice!Batman, it’s his way or the highway. And if you disagree with what he’s doing, then you’re the enemy. This extends to every member of the Justice League (who admittedly do end up doing some pretty fucked up shit), and this extends to Damian, when he’s as young as thirteen? Is it any wonder why Damian turned to Superman? It’s because Clark was the one who comforted Damian after Dick’s death. Clark who was the father figure that was there for Damian when he needed one. When Batman, three years after this, mind you, tries to convince Damian to be Robin again, Damian, understandably, refuses, and who could blame him? The last interaction they had was the confrontation in the Bat-Cave, where Bruce essentially disowned Damian. And that second chance I was talking about earlier? He only gave it because Dick Grayson (who became the new Deadman), convinced him too.

As the series goes on, it becomes very clear that Bruce stops viewing Damian as his son, viewing him as an enemy. Bruce is constantly verbally and emotionally abusive to Damian, bordering on physically at some points. From disregarding Damian’s point regarding Superman maybe being in the right, to questioning what Damian is doing in his own home, to almost striking at Damian. Injustice!Batman is not Batman. Injustice!Batman, as seen by the treatment of his son, is an abusive man, who views himself as a moral abolitionist. While Main!Batman has has issues with morality and methodology, he has learned to accept that other people have their own ideas of right and wrong, and their own ideas of how crime fighting should be done. To Injustice!Batman, none of this matters. It’s his way or the highway, and in his eyes, your damned if you pick the highway.

All of this brings me back to what I said was one of the quintessential qualities of Batman; that he sees the best in his enemies. No matter how bad they become, no matter what they can do, no matter how far into the dark they go, Batman always believes that they can step back into the light, because he himself has been in that darkness. From his enemies, to even his friends doing things he finds to be morally repugnant. Batman has been, and always will be, a firm believer in the concept of second chances. After all, he himself has needed more than his fair share. Injustice!Batman, does not share this value, viewing Damian as an enemy when he steps out of line, just like everyone else he faces.

#birdouttahell #ooc #ooc post #tw negativity #rant #long post #Injustice gods among us #salt #MAXimum salt

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cryptidandwren · 3 years

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OUR FETISHES ARE NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT

In this essay we will discuss the media and social environment under which a dangerously unhinged President personally responsible for a quarter million of his people dying can come within ten million votes of winning the popular vote. You are seeing this because you follow my wife’s porn blog, so I'll skip over the part about minority rule’s role in American politics. There is nothing cute to be made of a Senate majority that represents 20 million fewer people systematically eroding reproductive rights, discriminatory protections, and twisting the federal judiciary into a visage of an extreme few. No, you are seeing this because of porn, so let's use porn to understand what is happening in The United States. Personally, I am very interested in dangerously unstable people with complete disregard for their actions’ effects on themselves and others. While it's personally undisputed that crazy is hot, this sexual preference was never going to factor into my dating decisions, because unfortunately I am within the subset of “others”. In this discussion we are also going to be talking about those on the right side of the political aisle, because what we are talking about is not symmetrical fresh-never-frozen-bug-fucking-insanity. The Republican Party started experimenting with putting its dick in crazy beginning with the Southern Strategy, and now its been balls deep in crazy for three decades. Part of the “go balls deep and nut in the worst angels of our being” strategy pioneered by Nixon and allies like the Koch brothers was to create a verdant media environment where you could choose your own adventure on talk radio or Fox News. Choice is where this all goes from “go balls deep and nut in the worst angels of our being” to “tied to a chair in a shady warehouse by the docks wearing nothing but a latex horse mask and being sucked off by one lady, one man, and an oddly enthusiastic aquarium fish.” In broad strokes people are selecting news that makes them feel good in the same way that they are selecting porn that makes them feel good, and people will become better able at determining what exactly they want over time.

Let’s start off by defining what makes something pornographic. For this there can only be one source of authority to begin our inquiry: The United States Supreme Court. The United States Supreme Court defined obscenity as: “1) A thing must be prurient in nature; 2) a thing must be completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing must violate the local community standards.” Miller v. California 413 U.S. 15 (1973). The Miller test is the threshold standard for obscenity. Obscenity is a classification under First Amendment law, and not all porn will pass through the Miller test threshold. At the same time Miller is the culmination of a large body of litigation over the question of how pornography, its almost always pornography, should be classified for First Amendment protections purposes. It is important to understand that this is a local standard. Which is to say that the Government’s ability to regulate pornographic or otherwise obscene speech is conditional upon local community standards. While two people fucking on the subway may be a charming part of the morning commute in NYC, or nutting to Lucky, the mascot for the Celtics, may be essential to Boston culture, both acts may be obscene in Des Moines Iowa. When discussing the internet, which we must do in this inquiry, local standards are thrown out. Additionally, Miller is a threshold standard for a certain kind of porn. For these reasons, Miller cannot be said to be controlling on what makes something pornographic.

Fortunately The Supreme Court’s long history of litigation on the legal question of what makes pornography allows us to draw on persuasive evidence. Justice Stewart in his concurring opinion stated that he knows it [obscenity/porn] when he sees it. Jacobellis v. Ohio, 378 U.S. 187 (1964). This rule cures the defect created by a local standard as found in Miller. Additionally, it provides a more sex positive framework with which to approach the issue, as it better acknowledges the full breadth of human sexual expression. Still, it is too subjective to provide a tenable framework, as when everything can be porn then nothing may also be porn. A synthesis of the two rules is therefore appropriate.

The definition of porn requires a global standard, room to embrace the full breadth of human sexual expression, and some objective elements. Drawing on both Jacovellis and Miller porn is: 1) a thing known when seen; 2) a thing completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing which violates community standards. Let us now apply this new test to two fact patterns. First, HOT MILF OCTAGON DILDO WARRIOR 3 THE RESUBMITINING is a hypothetical film about mothers, although proof of their identity as such is lacking, fighting with dildos to submit or resubmit other mothers in a octagon with elaborate combat etiquette around naked dildo fights. Starting at the top, let us stipulate that this would be known to be porn when seen. Second, only the most strained and lonely freshman year Lit students could glean some scientific, political, educational, or social value out of what has been presented. Perhaps something to the effect of: “it represents the way in which an overly sexualized capitalist society pits actors against each other in abstracted combat which inevitably comes at the expense of the family unit, and the brunt of this abstract combat falls on women and or female caregivers”. Finally, this would violate community standards. Transgressiveness is hot, and you are not supposed to fight, much less with ten (10) pound dildo flails. Alternatively, there is the Venus de Milo. They would show this on PBS. It's not porn. That's not to say you can't nut to it, but any such nutting would be brought to you by viewers like you. This synthesized rule provides a practical framework to view porn broadly.

Now that we have a definition to apply to the pornographic, let us turn our gaze towards the fetish driven hellscape that is American politics. Our politics have become run by civic pornographic tropes. These tropes exigent before the advent of social media found a newly fertile ground on Twitter and Facebook. In the same way that interest in DADDY BIGFOOT FUCKS ME IN THE ASS AND THEN TAKES ME TO CHILI’S existed before the internet, interest in a secretive government leaker trying to save children and provide life extending technology conspiracies existed before the internet. The internet simply reduces the transactional cost of finding what you are really into.

Sex sells, but faces problems of scalability. Facebook, twitter, and all the rest sell ads. The more you are on them the more ads they can sell. Porn sells like, well, porn, but Pornhub hasn’t managed to destabilize entire governments and escalate ethnic tensions into a genocide. The problem that Pornhub has is scalability. We are closer to chimps than bonobos, so sex can only sell so far. This presented Facebook with a problem. How do you scale up a platform designed to rank your co-workers on fuckability into something that can Grima Wormtounge everyone’s grandmother? Use algorithms to push people towards more and more specifically targeted salacious content and rely on a healthy community of amateur content creators so that there is always something available to engage anyone’s most niche interests. That the business model of Pornhub and Facebook are nearly indistinguishable are no mistake.

To scale up one not only has to understand what porn is, but what the draw of porn is. Porn’s fundamental draw is not the sex, but the fantasy. It is fantasy without the distant mirror, or at least without an intentional one. Porn, unlike sex, creates a reality of your own choosing unconstrained by real worldly limitations and curated to facilitate the chosen fantasy. PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS doesn’t have to be a dingy place standing as a monolith to a horrifying system housing those broken under the crushing wheels of a morally indefensible society of indifference, like a real prison. Instead it can be a well-lit, adequately shot, sanitized play place for beautiful people to fuck like they are in a smutty disneyworld after Disney ripped the still beating heart out of the play Chicago. Through its alchemy porn is able to transmute the real world into smutty gold. Any impurities which may have stood in the way of the fantasy drawn out and rendered golden.

It is this same alchemy that we find at work in the so-called “new media”. GOD KING TRUMP TO KILL CHINESE DRAGON AND FREE AMERICAN WORKERS FROM THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS is no more concerned with the realities of the election than PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS is concerned with The United States criminal justice system. Applying our standard to GOD KING TRUMP TO KILL CHINESE DRAGON AND FREE AMERICAN WORKERS FROM THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS its pornographic nature must be:1) a thing known when seen; 2) a thing completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing which violates community standards. Starting with the first element, this exists because someone is into it. It is, like most porn, ridiculous with the benefit of post nut clarity. Secondly, no real value can be drawn from it. Perhaps a vague sense that the American working class has not been served by the last forty years of neoliberalism’s relentless pace which makes scabs out of entire nations, but surely nothing can be gleaned worth thinking about. Finally, Trump by his nature and actions is transgressive and violates nearly every social norm he's ever met. He even paid off several social norms to ensure their silence. This is porn under the Miller-Jacovellis synthesis rule.

“Well that is only one example,” a scarecrow I just created to take down might say. Well scarecrow I've inserted in a petulant power fantasy, we will discuss yet another political pornographic genre.

Let's look at one of the most persistent fetishes in American politics. The fetish that The United States is a meritocracy. First prong is satisfied, because this is a fantasy that exists because it feels good. In a meritocracy one would see social mobility both upwards and downwards. As a person of great quality is born to a low class they would naturally rise. Conversely as a person of low quality is born to a high class they would naturally fall. This is simply not the case. You will die in the same class or a little below as your parents. Men make more on average than women for the same work. Finally, reports of racism's demise after Obama’s election were greatly exaggerated. Much as the realities of American prisons have to be thrown out to allow for the fantasy within PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS or the class and gender implications must be kept at arm's length for HOT MILF OCTAGON DILDO WARRIOR 3 THE RESUBMITINING, the realities of America’s class, gender, and race relations must be transmuted away for the alchemy of porn to take place on the American meritocracy. Element two is met, because this fantasy has no more value than those contained within DADDY BIGFOOT FUCKS ME IN THE ASS AND THEN TAKES ME TO CHILI’S. Any attempt to stratify and rank fantasies based on intellectual merit is more likely to tell us about the author of the list than to accurately rank the intellectual merits with any validity, so all fantasies must then stand on equal footing sexually or not. Finally, we must analyze the transgressiveness of a meritocracy to satisfy the third element. On one hand, this is a omnibus fetish like tits or ass in sexual pornography. However, a kind of transgressive nature does appear to materialize when POC or women succeed. Were Captain America to be cast as a black man it would surely be met with cries of, “that's not right, Cap is White, Libs ruin comic books”. When female characters fail to be thinly veiled fetish items or possess body fat necessary to make it through a day without getting dizzy are cast, one can expect cries of, “WOMEN CAN’T BE.” In this way it is transgressive for those who are not supposed to win based on their immutable characteristics rather than their talents to win under this meritocracy. It is therefore plausible to find meritocracy in The United States as a genre of civic pornography.

It is at this point that we must view those on the right side of the political aisle not as misguided by misinformation with infantilizing gaze and endless forgiveness, but as fetish enthusiasts who open conversations with what grocery store’s ginger makes the best buttplugs. People gravitate towards the news that makes them feel good, in the same way that they gravitate towards porn that makes them feel good. These are active choices to view and active choices to talk about their fetishes. It's fine if people want to read TRUMP ELECTED GOD KING OF AMERICA; TO LIFT US TO MOON BASE WITH MASSIVE COCK or PRESIDENT TRUMP LOCKS BABIES IN CAGES TO HARVEST LIB TEARS; TOO WINNING TOO HARD in the privacy of their own bedroom. Much like sexually explicit pornography, the line is drawn when you start acting on or discussing the weird stuff in the real world without consent.

Fundamentally, when Nixon first suggested to the Republican electorate that they had the freedom to go balls deep in the worst angels of our being, we saw a sort of sexual liberation take place. It started with veiled dogwhistles. Just the “tasteful” little “welfare queen” brand racism used to be enough, but it wasn't really what they wanted. I mean sure, BALL GAG BALLET SWAN TAINT LAKE has some things you like, but maybe GIMP SUIT’S A NUUTCRACKER; CHRISTMAS CUMS ONCE A YEAR is gonna really scratch that itch.

We need to stop asking Republicans to change for us. This is their authentic selves, and it's awful. Accepting someone for who they are doesn't always mean forgiving them for the things they jerk off to in the supermarket in a bizarre attempt to undermine your nation's democratic institutions.

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #these are topics of discussion and hopefully not present in the essay #tw: covid #tw: politics #tw: trump

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mariabblackyr2 · 4 years

Text

Telling Stories - Lecture + Seminar Notes & Set Task

· Surrounded by stories – true stories – family events or fictional stories

· Tell stores via social media via status and ‘stories’ - sharing a narrative

· Texts that can hold narratives – novels, comics, films, photographs, paintings, illustration – broaden what text is poetry, Instagram, songs, music videos – visual image considered by text

We can each be seen as a narrate – memories construct who we are – broaden notion of text

· Plato talks about stories and folk tradition that holds culture meaning – narrative from visual image – everyone has a different narrative of the painting before us – competing narratives within image – narrative within colour, texture

· Story of a story

· Title guides you to a narrative with the imagery reinforcing that but also telling more stories

· Your level of semiotic understanding limits your understanding of the image

· Narrative changes with the age that is looking at it - each generation is reclaiming words to subvert their original meaning.

· What is the first story you remember being told?

“A need to tell and hear stories is essential to the species Homo-sapiens – second in necessity apparently after nourishment and before love and shelter. Millions survive without love or home almost none in silence; the opposite of silence leads quickly to narrative, and the sound of story is the dominant sound of our lives, from the small accounts of our day’s events to the vast incommunicable construct of psychopaths’ – Edward Reynolds Price – when nothing material remains we still have cultural stories and identities built by these stories.

· There’s a large pool of stories we like to retell such as Romeo and Juliet – this links that no idea is original – universal metaphors – passing messages down through the metaphors – themes such as love, hate and conflict

· Each version applies to the new generation of the time – not just about culture

· Narrative is a document of it times

·Retold is different ways reach’s different audiences – becomes relevant to the year, the generation and what’s happening around us in the world

· Same old story – The taming of the Shrew vs 10 things I hate about you – same stereotypes apply in both stories

·Disney Princess reflective of the times – change in female character in current years – reflects cultural narratives

Cultural stories – help a community structure and assign meaning to history and their existences – include creation stories – community origins and fables which help teach moral values and ethical behaviour. Can help a community reinforce social norms and strengthen identity.

· ‘End of the World’ – types of stories we engage in – disaster films – global north – good vs bad – plays on climate change and the fear the goes along with – biblical repetition

Cultural stories – old folk tale – Juha and his donkey appear in many forms – adapted from an older oral tradition – inspired other stories – central to Arabic story telling culture – gulf region – donkeys still in pop culture

What’s the difference between ‘story’ and ‘narrative’ = story is a sequence of events (plot) – Narrative is the way those events are put together to be presented to an audience. – politics and moral value

· Royal Family – all the same story – narrative different in different sources such as newspapers – depends on the newspaper’s values

‘Narrative Theory starts from the assumption that narrative is a basic human strategy for coming to terms with fundamental element’s of our experience’ – how ‘narrative is different from other types of discourse’- ‘how stories help people make sense of the world, whilst also studying how people make sense of stories’

Matt Madden, 99 ways to tell a story – narrative changes in each comic – told in several images’ vs told in a one frame – same events, same story but a new narrative due to the construction of the story e.g. the way the story was put together not just the story itself.

Meaning in the colour – different representation

Narrative hard to pin down within work – so bland and boring – directly relatable – mundane experiences – plays with language within narrative making it obscure

· Narrative of the image Dorothea Lange – ‘The Migrant Mother’ – elements missed within the frame such as the women having more children, she has also been posed – the narrative was created by Lange but it is not really telling the truth of this woman – created as an image for the great depression

The picture of revellers in Manchester – viral sensation due to it resembling a painting

· The Fibonacci sequence – Renaissance artists would use the ratio with the visual ad of the Fibonacci spiral which is created by drawing circular arcs connecting the opposite corners of squares in the golden rectangle.

· Narrative in digital age – due to screens narrative cannot be read like looking at a person and hearing their voice – how is a tone created in social media – can be done visually but also done with text and emojis

· Accidental storytelling – the tone of a narrative can be lost – digital debate is often tone deaf

· Narrating debate – done by ‘upper class gentleman’ – juxtapositions

· Narratives in different forms – in our society there our multiple belief patterns and different types of narratives which are for the majority suppressed. The dominant classes have created the norm, a standard that is passed off as natural. This standard is reinforced by institutions such as schools and the church. Subjugated narratives have been continually produced as a response to dominant ideology. – form of protest

· Outsider art - something that’s not conventional

· Art Therapy is a form of outsider art – didn’t attend art uni – is it really outside art?

· ‘The Palestinian Trail of Fish: Artist’s Graffiti dives into heart of refugee struggle’ – response to the bad that is happening around the artists – controversial to make – not following the norm that has been created – comment of immigrants being fish out of water

· “My tattoos, or, rather, my single narrative tattoo, essentially charts the Eastward migration of Buddhism from its Hindu sources in India through its multiple manifestations / incarnations / influences in Tibet, Myanmar, Thailand, Indochina, China, and, finally Japan. Not unlike Shakespeare’s Parolles, from the ironically (at least from Parolles’ point of view) titled All’s Well that Ends Well, before I put my once-discrete tattoos into dialogue, into the development of classical narrative arcing, I was a “man of shreds and patches.” A tattoo here, a tattoo there. I found my nine scattered tattoos aesthetically unsightly. So over an 18-year period I worked (with the help of tattooists from Canada, Thailand, Colombia, India, Israel, Vietnam, and Hong Kong) on establishing an interconnected narrative. A story. But a postmodern story: one that includes, among other things, fragmentation, flashback, back story, interruption, and openendedness. There’s no single reading of my story of Buddhist passage.” – Jason S Polley

Prison tattoos – narrative of their life’s being told – symbols – more semiotics than narrative? – all tattoos follow a narrative – all part of what has made you up – your life narratives – an example of subjugated narratives

· Everything read as a text – shapes career and outlook

· Graffiti a example of a subjugated narrative – narratives found on built environment - subversive power

· The storyteller Walter Benjamin –

· The nesting place of the storyteller, Walter Benjamin pointed out, are in the loom shed and at the spinning wheel, in the fulling barn and the kitchen when doing tedious tasks - shelling peas in readiness for storing, sorting pulses for bagging, bottling and preserving. Stories were told to alleviate harsh labour and endless drudgery - and they were passed between generations - by the voice of experience, filled with the laughter of defiance, and the hope of just deserts.

· Creating narrative: exploring how makers and designers are using objects and making to tell stories – never used for food and drink but used for narrative

· Narrative fashion – everyone tells stories – fashion designers and brands use narratives to become a storyteller ‘ the expert of storytelling and apparel comes alive’ – the blouse has been passed down from generation to generation – narrative presents itself in clothing

· Creating narrative: exploring how makers and designers are using objects and making to tell stories – never used for food and drink but used for narrative

· Capturing a type of narrative through the aesthetic of craft by semiotics – narratives implied by signs

Set Task:

For this set task I choose to look at staged narrative. This idea came from everyones opinion of the migrant mother photography in the lecture. When asked what they thought they saw her as the mother of America, hard working, etc but no one even the lecturer mentioned that to achieve this photograph many were taken and the end product was staged by the photographer. Alongside the migrant mother I chose to look at the boy with grenade too which follows the same concept.

Dorothea Lange - Migrant Mother

The women is just a subject, ‘an appropriate symbol’ created by Lange

The symbol of the mother is created by the lack of the father figure, two small children holding onto her, the mothers gazing off past the camera - conjures emotions such as empathy but also admiring the mother at the time would of been a symbol of hope

Photograph taken for the FSA a government run project

One of the most reproduced images in history

Lange took a number of photographs of the mother and her family

There's a missing thumb - Lange had a retoucher remove the womens thumb

Constructed narrative - how authentic is the story/narrative in the image

Raises the question what stories are true and what are not?

Child with Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park - Diane Arbus

Seminar:

Part one

The colour of pomegranates - is a less literal sense - reveals poets life visually and poetically - little dialogue

Art that tells a story, art that is inspired by a story, art that is composed by existing stories, art that invents a whole new story opposed to a narrative

Artists who explore stories

Susan Hiller, Monument - 41 photographs of memorial plaques, reenactment of how the work is seen - headphones on bench, voice plays through them

Mark Dion, Tate Thames Dig, 1999 - combined banks of the thames - collected hundreds of fragments of history and tokens of life - objects create inner monologue - explores time

Doris Salcedo - Unland -The orphans tunic 1997 - address seems of loss and bereavement - period of three years spoke to children who had witnessed the murder of their parents, how individuals experiences can be conveyed by others - physical distortion that happens within work - distortion of life that happens when you lose someone

Part two - Anti-Narrative

Desperate need to make stories to make meaning from life - what do we do with anti narrative - when every-things been flipped on its head

Paul Auster - a novel without a lot of detail where the man is - what questions begin to formulate from it? Leaves room for interpretation

Exercise in frustration - full of paradox due to its ambiguity

Without truth are we lost?

Definition - AntiNarrative - methods that challenge the traditional concepts of storytelling - breaks conventions and creates more question than it provides answers

Storytelling and order - need narrative structure for world to make sense

Postmodernism tolerant of ambiguity, style free work, playful work without doubt, allowed to ask a question without knowing the answers - Lyotard, The Postmodern Condition

Contemporary methods of experimentation - blending of boundaries, practitioners rather question that get a clear cut answer

A conversation with the viewer

Subverting todorov - subverting the straight forward narrative structure of equilibrium, disruption and disequilibrium , an attempt to fix it, the new equilibrium

Part Three

Harvard Referencing and Paperpile

Google scholar

Little green arrow on P means it can reference

Have to format from blue hyperlinks

Create reference list from paperpile

Add books onto digital system

Part Four

Planning an Essay

Arrive at an academic opinion

Structure

Introduction( what, why and how?) - what: explain the question, key issues and ideas - Why: why is it important, think of broader context , how does it relate personally - How: how are you going to go about answering the question?

Main Body - setting out evidence , critical framework, two or three key texts, underpinning essay, summarise, analyse and evaluate - could also be comparing two different artists

Conclusion - should set out academic conclusions based on evidence supplied in essay, no new evidence, readdress the questions and explain clearly how they have been addressed and answer within the essay, refer back to introduction and main body of writing

links:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/28/lens/dorothea-lange-migrant-mother.html

Photography:

A Critical Introduction

Third Edition

Edited by Liz Wells

#contextualstudies

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majoringinsarcasm · 7 years

Text

The curious cases of wolves and rabbits (part 1)

I did not read over or edit this so keep that in mind :p. This goes along with an upcoming RP I have with @rin-matsuoka-daddy aka my husbando.

Rin adjusted his pusheen beanie and examined his nails. The polish was already coming off in glittery flakes, yet he couldn’t stop picking at them, an awful nervous habit. Kisumi sat humming next to him, editing another banner to put up on his blog. Only two more weeks of class before they were free of another semester. But instead of ordering paint and resin molds, they were sitting around the west campus commons.

“They’re late,” Rin grumbled, abandoning his ruined nails. “You said twelve-thirty and it’s almost twelve-fifty.”

Kisumi didn’t even bother to look up, digging his boots into the no doubt beer stained carpet. The jocks all assembled here, what with the frat houses being close by.

“Unless you’ve got twenty-five dollars to give, we’re staying. This is the last case of the batch I made this year. They were all bought before October except this one.“ He pouted, looking at the little box containing the custom made phone case. “I was starting to think it was cursed.”

Before Rin could say anything, a gust of cold air blew into the lounge, along with a pack of darkly dressed young men.

Rin hated stereotypes, both using them and being referred to as one. But the only word that came to mind seeing all that leather, biker boots, ripped jeans despite it being winter, piercings and buzzed hair, was Punk. And one stood out in particular.

“Why is Yamazaki walking toward us?” Rin hissed at Kisumi, anxiety making his hands shake. He patted down his puffy marshmallow parka until he felt the shape of his army knife on the inside pocket. A gift from his mother that he hadn’t asked too many questions about.

But the relief only lasted for a second, because soon Yamazaki Sousuke, known player and general misfit, was standing just a few feet away.

He was wearing all black, from his boots to the gauges in his ears, though they were the smallest Rin had seen in this group. And he was wearing those leather fingerless gloves again! Talk about trying too hard. But all in all he didn’t look bad, with both eyebrows pierced and his hair shaved on the sides and back like the one guy from the figure skating anime. A solid 8 out of ten. Maybe 8.5 if he wasn’t so frowny. But his looks were all he had. He was a major player, sleeping around and never calling his dates back. Yet the girls kept flocking to him. It was disgusting.

And he wasn’t alone. Rin knew that Momo had a brother, but seeing the older Mikoshiba in person made him glad he was sitting down. He was tall, and muscular, and with his dark red hair, shaved at the sides and messy on top, and his sharp golden eyes—which Rin swore were contacts despite Momo’s being the same—were piercing right through Rin.

“Are you Shigino?” Mikoshiba asked. Rin shook his head automatically, hating that he felt afraid in this moment. He wasn’t helpless, dammit!

“That would be me.” Kisumi stood up then, coming to stand in front of Rin. He wasn’t very bulky, but he was tall, and he looked less like a children’s painting today, wearing mostly brown and white. “Who wants to know?”

Rin’s body tensed, anticipating some kind of confrontation. Kisumi was a good student, but he went to a lot of parties. He was flirty by nature, and that’s gotten him into a few tight spots in the past. Had he flirted with someone’s girlfriend? Spilled beer on a jacket?

Mikoshiba’s expression shifted rather drastically. He relaxed from his alpha stance and even smiled! Smiled at Kisumi as he held up his phone. "Oh hey. I’m the guy who bought the phone case?” He handed Kisumi his phone. “I saved the email in case someone else tried to claim it. It’s still mine, yeah?”

Like a sitcom, Rin popped up to stand behind Kisumi as they both read over the email thread. It was legit, right down to the meeting time.

“And I’m really sorry I’m late. The sink at Samezuka house was leaking—”

“It fucking exploded,” Yamazaki deadpanned. “Takuya almost lost an eye.”

“… so I had to fix it.” He smiled again, appearing almost bashful.

Rin had to elbow his friend to get him to close his mouth. He didn’t like the sparkles he could practically see fading in to becoming Kisumi’s backdrop.

To his friend’s credit, Kisumi snapped into business mode pretty quickly. He took the case out of the box to show off, keeping with his policy. If the product wasn’t up to the buyer’s standards, they could withdraw their bid. Any damage noticed or made to the product after one week became the buyers problem. Rin was always weary of people trying to take advantage of that policy, but so far no one had demanded a refund.

The case wasn’t something Rin would associate with the punks. It was a pastel orange, decorated with cute sea life and pieces that looked like water. In the center was a little otter figure on its back, holding a peach. Rin wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but to see Mikoshiba literally fucking gasp was nowhere on his list of possible reactions.

“It’s perfect!” Mikoshiba took the case and looked it over, gently wiggling every glued on piece to make sure it was secure. “Dude, check this out.” He shook Yamazaki’s shoulder like an excited child.

“It’s just a phone case,” Yamazaki sighed, looking up from his own phone. Rin noticed that it was cracked in all kinds of places. “What’s so speci—oh wow that’s cute.”

“I told you!”

“Is the otter holding—”

“A peach, yeah!”

“Nice.”

Rin leaned into Kisumi’s side, eyes wide with something akin to fear. “What the fuck is happening right now?” He whispered, clutching at his shoulder.

“I’m making money, shut up!” Kisumi hissed back, schooling his expression when the attention was put back on him. “I trust that everything is up to your standards?”

Yamazaki snorted, mumbling something under his breath that only Mikoshiba seemed to hear. Mikoshiba elbowed him before flashing another smile Kisumi’s way. Rin swore his friend’s heart beat so hard he could see the outline of it in his chest.

“It’s perfect. My brother’s gonna love it.” Mikoshiba dug in his pockets to get his wallet, but Rin’s mind had ground to a halt.

“You’re buying this for Momo?” He tried not to sound incredulous, but from the look Yamazaki gave him, he hadn't done a good job.

“Yeah!” Mikoshiba looked so happy now, like a proud parent. “He loves cute things like this. Personally I don’t really get it,” he said with a little shrug. “But he’s my baby brother, and I wanted to get him something special for his birthday next week.”

Kisumi let out a sigh that could definitely be classified as dreamy. His eyelashes fluttered, and his smile was slow and just shy of coy.

“How much do I owe you?” Mikoshiba asked, looking up and into the face of his doom. He blinked a few times, caught off guard, until a small little smile graced his lips as well. Kisumi giggled and reached up to toy with a lock of his hair, and Mikoshiba’s smile grew wider.

“It’s twenty five,” Rin said, a little loudly, trying to look bigger than he was. Despite the utter weirdness of this encounter, he wasn’t about to let his friend get conned out of his money. Even if said friend was making heart eyes at the guy who climbed the thirty foot flag pole during spirit week.

Money and product were exchanged, and hands lingered far longer than they needed to. Yamazaki grabbed the back of Mikoshiba’s jacket and pulled him along, grumbling something about food. Rin waited until they were gone to tackle Kisumi to the couch.

“No,” he said sternly, red eyes fixed in a glare.

“He cares about his little brother.”

“Nooooo.”

“He’s got a great smile.”

“NO!”

“His eyes are like liquid gold, and it’s filled the mold in the shape of my heart.”

Rin groaned, loudly and dramatically, mourning his stress free day. He had not signed up for this at all. He stood up with a sigh and frowned down at Kisumi, before rolling his eyes and holding out his hand.

“Come on,” he said begrudging. “Let’s go stalk his social medias.”

Kisumi cheered, jumping up with far too much enthusiasm. He took Rin’s hand and just about dragged him across campus to their dorm room, bubbling with excitement the entire way there.

I should’ve stayed in bed this morning.

#pastel punk au #seikisu #kisusei #or at least the beginnings of it #eventually #sourin #free iwatobi swim club #free eternal summer

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believermag · 7 years

Text

Who Will Think of the Children?

Jim Knipfel on Satire and Children’s Books

This past September, the Abrams’ imprint Image, which specializes in illustrated and reference works, published a novelty book entitled Bad Little Children’s Books by the pseudonymous Arthur Gackley. The small hardcover, which itself quite deliberately resembled a little golden book, featured carefully-rendered and patently offensive parodies of classic children's book covers. Instead of happy, apple-cheeked tykes doing pleasant wholesome things, Gackley’s covers featured kids farting, puking, and using drugs. Others included children with dildoes and racially inflammatory portrayals of Middle Eastern, Asian, and Native American youngsters. The book was clearly labeled a work of satire aimed at adults, and adults with a certain tolerance for bad taste and crass jokes.

Upon its initial release it received positive reviews and sold fairly well. Then in early December, a former librarian named Kelly Jensen posted an entry on Bookriot entitled “It’s Not Funny. It’s Racist.”

“This kind of 'humor' is never acceptable,” Ms. Jensen wrote. “It’s deadly.”

Jensen’s rant circulated quickly across social media, and Abrams suddenly found itself besieged by attacks from the outraged and offended, who assailed Gackley for creating the book in the first place, and the Abrams editorial board for agreeing to publish it.

“There is a difference between ‘hate speech’ and free speech,” one outraged member of the kidlit comunity wrote on Facebook. “In the same way, you cannot yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater just because you feel like it. This book was in very bad, insulting, racist taste, and designed to look like a children's book. How is that a good idea? Children are too young to understand this as parody. If it's for adults, why is that even funny? Oh, I guess if you are a racist you would think it's funny.”

Another tweeted, “Sounds like something that should've been completely ignored and removed before it hit the shelves. Just because we have the freedom of speech, it can be taken way too far.”

Still another confused and enervated soul wrote, “Argue all that you want, but this particular book was for children yes? Or no? If it was, does that mean we should allow and subject young children to gratuitous violence, gore and pornography? And what age is it acceptable? Does this mean we have to start putting PG-14 on printed material and make it mandatory because certain writers can't conduct themselves with a moral scale?”

Another angry reader summed it up quite simply by posting, “Freedom is bullshit, literally.”

[Note: As much as possible, the spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors which peppered the above posts have been corrected here for the sake of simple comprehensibility.]

Although Abrams initially stood by Gackley and the First Amendment right to offend, and had received the public support of several anti-censorship organizations, by December tenth the noise had simply grown too shrill. Mr. Gackley, maintaining to the end his intentions had been grossly misinterpreted, admitted there was no way to salvage things, and asked that Abrams not reprint the book. In a statement, Abrams announced they would be complying with his wishes. Although Bad Little Children’s Books was not banned in any official capacity, it had all but completely vanished from online booksellers within a few days after the announcement. Used copies, while available, are now selling for outrageous prices.

At the same time that this was happening, there were also calls to ban the (real) children’s books When We Was Fierce and A Birthday Cake for George Washington. The invented slang used in the former was interpreted as racist by some parent groups, and the latter was attacked for its historically inaccurate portrayal of the daily lives of slaves on Washington’s estate. Meanwhile, a mother in Tennessee led the call to pull Rebecca Skloot’s The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks from the local school system. The New York Times bestselling biography, which concerned a Baltimore woman whose massive cervical tumor had become the invaluable source of several generations worth of cell lines used by cancer researchers, was being taught in local high schools as a means of educating students both about cancer and about racial issues within the medical community. The Tennessee mother calling for its removal, however, found the book pornographic.

Point being, I guess, that certain sectors of the population harbor an insatiable, even desperate desire to be shocked and offended by something they’ve read, seen, or even heard about, and the drive to ban these things (made much easier with the advent of social media) will likely always be with us. But back to the Gackley for a moment. Reading through the enraged postings aimed at Abrams, a number of the offended make the point that they are not attempting to censor, but are merely exercising their own First Amendment right to criticize. That’s fine and understandable. But the crux of the matter is that these people would be much happier if the book never existed in the first place, and considered Abrams’ decision a glorious victory for their cause.

Let’s try to put it in some sort of semi-comprehensible historical context. Dark and occasionally tasteless adult-oriented satires of children’s books, television and toys have been with us about as long as media aimed specifically at the innocent set. We just can’t help ourselves. Present us with the doe-eyed lukewarm treacle of the Smurfs or Care Bears, and some of us will instinctively reach for a baseball bat. In the case of Bad Little Children’s Books, the outrage in many instances seems to be sparked less by the content than form, and the fear that the book might actually be mistaken for legitimate kidlit. So here are a handful of similar cases from the last half-century. While reactions and results differ wildly, a certain historical pattern does seem to emerge.

Ralph Bakshi’s 1972 animated feature Fritz the Cat, based on the R. Crumb character, became notorious overnight for being the first theatrically-released cartoon to receive an X rating from the MPAA. What people tend to forget is that the film received the distinction not on account of its sexual content, nor because it included characters who were overtly racist, misogynistic drug addicts who cursed a lot. The real problem was the film featured cute and fuzzy animals who were racist, misogynistic drug addicts who cursed a lot, and had sex. The MPAA board was afraid people would see the cartoon poster and stroll into the theater, family in tow, expecting the latest Disney opus. By modern standards the film should have received nothing more than an R rating, but the damning “adults only” designation was an effort to avoid any confusion. It didn’t matter. People saw the X rating and immediately concluded Bakshi had made a hardcore cartoon in a diabolical effort to corrupt the nation’s youth. Although the publicity attracted large audiences and earned the film an undeniable bit of underground cred, that same publicity did irreparable damage to Bakshi’s career. For decades afterward, even while trying to redeem himself with the family-friendly Mighty Mouse cartoon series for TV, he found himself labeled a racist, sexist pornographer determined to get America’s young people hooked on heroin—charges leveled at him mostly by people who had never seen Fritz the Cat.

Long before he won a Pulitzer for Maus and became a regular contributor to The New Yorker, cartoonist Art Spiegelman spent twenty years working for the Topps trading card company. Among other things, he was one of the primary creative forces behind Topps' wildly popular and wickedly subversive Wacky Packages series, which satirized American consumer products. In 1985, Topps attempted to arrange a licensing deal to release a series of trading cards based on Cabbage Patch Dolls, which were all the rage at the time. Finding licensing fees had already gone through the roof, they decided instead to release a Wacky Packages-style parody. As it happened, an unreleased Wacky Packages design called Garbage Pail Kids was already on the boards, so they ran with it.

Spiegelman and the involved artists took the basic design of the cuddly and adorable plush dolls beloved by all the world and twisted them into deranged monstrosities covered in snot, vomit, oozing sores and bugs. From the moment they hit convenience store checkout counters, the GPK stickers were outrageously popular. Although some school systems banned them as an unwelcome distraction and more than a few parents were mortified and disgusted that any sick individual would do such a horrible thing to something so innocent and cuddly, there was no organized grassroots effort to censor the stickers on moral grounds. Topps' only real trouble came in the form of a copyright infringement suit filed by the Cabbage Patch Dolls’ creators, Original Appalachian Artworks, Inc.

Topps’ argument that what they were doing was clear and obvious parody (and therefore protected under the First Amendment) didn’t quite cut it. The suit was settled out of court, with Topps agreeing to alter the Garbage Pail Kids logo and basic character design so as to avoid any possible confusion with the original dolls. The stickers continued to come out, and went on to inspire an animated television series, a feature film, a book and an unholy array of merchandise ranging from trash cans to sunglasses. In the end, it could easily be argued that over time the Garbage Pail Kids had more of a lasting impact on the culture than their inspiration.

Struwwelpeter was first published in Germany in 1845. The cautionary and terrifying collection of nursery rhymes (with graphic accompanying illustrations to drive the point home) warned children that if they sucked their thumnbs, didn’t eat their dinner, didn’t clean themselves up properly, mistreated their pets or threw tantrums, a horrible fate awaited them. The book became a standard instructional volume in most German households with young children. In 1898, a similar but decidedly British version was released in England under the title Shockheaded Peter, and was nearly as popular. Nobody it seemed thought much about presenting naughty children with images of potential disfigurement or death. The book helped keep the little buggers in line.

In 1999, American indie publisher Feral House released a gorgeous new edition of Struwwelpeter, complete with new illustrations, interpretive and historical essays, and assorted bowdlerized and satirical versions of the nursery rhymes which had appeared over the years. Feral House, which had always prided itself on publishing dangerous and controversial works, soon found this simple history and analysis of a once popular if disturbing children’s book could be just as troublesome as their books by notorious British serial killer Ian Brady or the Church of Satan’s Anton LaVey.

“Yes, we had minor trouble with Struwwelpeter,” says Feral House founder and publisher Adam Parfrey. “But most of that was put to rest when bookstores simply refused to carry the book. I guess 21st century Americans are more touchy than the Germans of yore. For a while, a couple chains and many independent bookstores stopped carrying the Anton LaVey books we published after Geraldo Rivera put on those sensationalist programs about Satanism... I credit Marilyn Manson for putting an end to that crap. After he spoke out about it, so many people went into bookstores to order them that the stores saw best to get them back into their shops. Time passed, and the crazy ideas receded.”

Parfrey also sees a potential connection between the backlash Abrams suffered over Bad Little Children’s Books and the present brouhaha over what has been termed “fake news.”

“Right now there’s a good bit of madness going on with Trump-loving crazies, including Alex Jones and Infowars building up this idea that Hillary Clinton and John Podesta are torturing and killing children…and they’re pointing at Marina Abramović, too. That’s a big deal on Facebook at this instant. And anyone who poo-poos this story is being accused of covering up kiddie killing. I can see how this sort of madness can amplify into the book trade, a situation where parodies are mistaken for outright kiddie torture. Sad, isn’t it?”

As a final example, in 2010 Simon and Schuster published my book These Children Who Come at You With Knives, a collection of darkly comic fairy tales aimed at adults. Across roughly a dozen stories written in traditional fairy tale formats (though with more cursing, gratuitous gore, and uncontrolled bodily functions), assorted anthropomorphized animals, magical creatures, human children, the elderly and the dull-witted come to various terrible ends. The book received decent reviews and publicity, but there was no outcry, no controversy, and no one insisted the book be banned in order to protect the innocent. Meaning, of course, that I didn’t sell millions as a result of the hoo-hah. Christ, I’ve even heard from people who use them as bedtime stories for their own kids. Dammit! What the hell did I do wrong?

I think I made two deadly mistakes. First, despite my best efforts to the contrary, my publisher decided to release the book without illustrations, meaning it could never possibly be confused with an actual children’s book. More devastating still, I was cursed with bad timing. These Children Who Come at You With Knives was released halfway through President Obama’s first term, and while there was certainly a good deal of rancor in the air, satire was still a viable form and accepted as such, at least among the literate.

In different eras and in different ways, all the above examples were damned by a public inflicting its own preconceived notions upon works of obvious satire, insisting they be what the public believed them to be instead of what they actually were.

By the time Bad little Children’s Books was released, the world had become too ridiculous, too absurd, and as a result we lost our sense of humor. There was simply no longer any way to lampoon our chosen leaders or our own insecurities, with the world itself poised and ready to top us at every turn. In short, the book’s publication coincided with the precise moment satire breathed its last, meaning readers had no choice but to take Gackley’s work, as Parfrey points out, at face value. Lucky bastard.

Jim Knipfel is the author of Slackjaw, These Children Who Come at You with Knives, The Blow-Off, and several other books, most recently Residue (Red Hen Press, 2015). his work has appeared in New York Press, the Wall Street Journal, the Village Voice and dozens of other publications.

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vsplusonline · 4 years

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Earth turns wilder, cleaner as coronavirus lockdowns continue

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/earth-turns-wilder-cleaner-as-coronavirus-lockdowns-continue/

Earth turns wilder, cleaner as coronavirus lockdowns continue

An unplanned grand experiment is changing Earth.

As people across the globe stay home to stop the spread of the new coronavirus, the air has cleaned up, albeit temporarily. Smog stopped choking New Delhi, one of the most polluted cities in the world, and India’s getting views of sights not visible in decades. Nitrogen dioxide pollution in the northeastern United States is down 30 per cent. Rome air pollution levels from mid-March to mid-April were down 49 per cent from a year ago. Stars seem more visible at night.

People are also noticing animals in places and at times they don’t usually. Coyotes have meandered along downtown Chicago’s Michigan Avenue and near San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge. A puma roamed the streets of Santiago, Chile. Goats took over a town in Wales. In India, already daring wildlife has become bolder with hungry monkeys entering homes and opening refrigerators to look for food.

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READ MORE: Live updates: Coronavirus in Canada

When people stay home, Earth becomes cleaner and wilder.

“It is giving us this quite extraordinary insight into just how much of a mess we humans are making of our beautiful planet,” says conservation scientist Stuart Pimm of Duke University. “This is giving us an opportunity to magically see how much better it can be.”

Chris Field, director of the Stanford Woods Institute for the Environment, assembled scientists to assess the ecological changes happening with so much of humanity housebound. Scientists, stuck at home like the rest of us, say they are eager to explore unexpected changes in weeds, insects, weather patterns, noise and light pollution. Italy’s government is working on an ocean expedition to explore sea changes from the lack of people.

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“In many ways we kind of whacked the Earth system with a sledgehammer and now we see what Earth’s response is,” Field says.

1:54 Alberta wildlife behavior could change during COVID-19 outbreak

Alberta wildlife behavior could change during COVID-19 outbreak

Researchers are tracking dramatic drops in traditional air pollutants, such as nitrogen dioxide, smog and tiny particles. These types of pollution kill up to 7 million people a year worldwide, according to Health Effects Institute president Dan Greenbaum.

The air from Boston to Washington is its cleanest since a NASA satellite started measuring nitrogen dioxide,in 2005, says NASA atmospheric scientist Barry Lefer. Largely caused by burning of fossil fuels, this pollution is short-lived, so the air gets cleaner quickly.

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Compared to the previous five years, March air pollution is down 46 per cent in Paris, 35 per cent in Bengaluru, India, 38 per cent in Sydney, 29 per cent in Los Angeles, 26 per cent in Rio de Janeiro and 9 per cent in Durban, South Africa, NASA measurements show.

“We’re getting a glimpse of what might happen if we start switching to non-polluting cars,” Lefer says.

READ MORE: New cancellations prove lifting coronavirus restrictions won’t be easy

Cleaner air has been most noticeable in India and China. On April 3, residents of Jalandhar, a city in north India’s Punjab, woke up to a view not seen for decades: snow-capped Himalayan peaks more than 100 miles away.

Cleaner air means stronger lungs for asthmatics, especially children, says Dr. Mary Prunicki, director of air pollution and health research at the Stanford University School of Medicine. And she notes early studies also link coronavirus severity to people with bad lungs and those in more polluted areas, though it’s too early to tell which factor is stronger.

The greenhouse gases that trap heat and cause climate change stay in the atmosphere for 100 years or more, so the pandemic shutdown is unlikely to affect global warming, says Breakthrough Institute climate scientist Zeke Hausfather. Carbon dioxide levels are still rising, but not as fast as last year.

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2:03 Coronavirus outbreak: Pandemic sees pollution levels drop around the world

Coronavirus outbreak: Pandemic sees pollution levels drop around the world

Aerosol pollution, which doesn’t stay airborne long, is also dropping. But aerosols cool the planet so NASA climate scientist Gavin Schmidt is investigating whether their falling levels may be warming local temperatures for now.

Stanford’s Field says he’s most intrigued by increased urban sightings of coyotes, pumas and other wildlife that are becoming video social media staples. Boar-like javelinas congregated outside of a Arizona shopping center. Even New York City birds seem hungrier and bolder.

In Adelaide, Australia, police shared a video of a kangaroo hoping around a mostly empty downtown, and a pack of jackals occupied an urban park in Tel Aviv, Israel.

READ MORE: Coronavirus: Canadians report increased wildlife sightings amid COVID-19 pandemic

We’re not being invaded. The wildlife has always been there, but many animals are shy, Duke’s Pimm says. They come out when humans stay home.

For sea turtles across the globe, humans have made it difficult to nest on sandy beaches. The turtles need to be undisturbed and emerging hatchlings get confused by beachfront lights, says David Godfrey, executive director of the Sea Turtle Conservancy.

But with lights and people away, this year’s sea turtle nesting so far seems much better from India to Costa Rica to Florida, Godfrey says.

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“There’s some silver lining for wildlife in what otherwise is a fairly catastrophic time for humans,” he says.

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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Bookshelf Briefs 9/26/19

Black Clover, Vol. 17 | By Yuki Tabata | Viz Media – As predicted, friends are fighting friends in this one, as a good deal of the cast have been Possessed By Elves. Not Asta, of course; he’s our hero. But Yuno seems to be affected… except he proves to be the only one with the mental strength to throw it off. I’d roll my eyes at this if it weren’t Black Clover, a series that runs on clichés. Speaking of which, remember that nun from chapter one? The one Asta is theoretically still in love with? She returns here as the villains go after the orphanage, allowing Asta and Yuno to return and show off how much they’ve grown. Black Clover loves to run on things we’ve seen before, but this volume may have had a bit TOO much of that, as it was unsurprising. But still fun. – Sean Gaffney

Daytime Shooting Star, Vol. 2 | By Mika Yamamori | Viz Media – I will admit, this series is going to live or die on how far it takes the teacher student romance—I don’t THINK it’s endgame, but as with most shoujo it’s hard to make sure. (Shonen romances are nice enough to telegraph the winner in the first chapter.) It’s well-crafted, and the author seems to be aware of the issues it involves, but we shall see. Till then, I do enjoy the kids hanging out with each other, particularly when Suzume manages to be so sleepy during a study break that Yuyuya’s mask slips off and she starts berating her in front of everyone—though the masochistic guys she then starts to attract are less welcome. I enjoy the sense of humor and characters in this, despite some issues. – Sean Gaffney

Daytime Shooting Star, Vol. 2 | By Mika Yamamori | VIZ Media – Daytime Shooting Star continues to be far better than it seems like it’s going to be, with a student-teacher romance at its core. The important factor, of course, is that Suzune’s love for Shishio is unrequited, though he does finally become aware of it at the end of this volume. One thing I really love is that there’s drama—Suzune has made friends with Yuyuka (who has a subplot of her own in which she slips up and shows her true belligerent self and gains some masochistic devotees as a result) and is attempting to shield her from the knowledge that the boy Yuyuka likes (Mamura) instead likes Suzune—but no cartoonish, over-the-top villains. There’s just complicated circumstances and likable characters and it’s all really great. I hope it doesn’t spoil it all by doing something stupid like hooking up Suzune and Shishio, at least while she’s still a student. – Michelle Smith

Emanon, Vol. 2: Emanon Wanderer, Part One | By Shinji Kajio and Kenji Tsurata | Dark Horse Comics – This is two large short stories continuing the story of a young woman who has memories going back to the dawn of time. We get a better understanding of what happens when she moves from mother to daughter, and what happens to the mother—it’s disturbing and a bit terrifying, no surprises there. The current Emanon also has a twin brother, something that’s never happened before, and their reunion is as awkward as you can imagine. As for the first story, boy howdy that is a lot of nudity. It’s absolutely gorgeous—the art alone is worth buying this for. But boy howdy, that is an AWFUL lot of nudity. Interested to see where this goes next. – Sean Gaffney

Golden Kamuy, Vol. 11 | By Satoru Noda | Viz Media – This volume gives us the Golden Kamuy equivalent of Bonnie and Clyde in two lovers, now reunited after he gets out of prison, who love to make love and also love to kill people. Naturally, they run afoul of the 7th Division, but the action sequences are absolute gold. Meanwhile, Sugimoto and company are running into a new outlaw running around defiling animals. Biblically. If you’re the sort to be bothered by a two-page spread of a man screwing a deer… well, you likely stopped reading Golden Kamuy long ago, but I feel I should give the warning anyway. It’s also sort of hilarious, like a lot of Golden Kamuy‘s grossest moments. Even for a series that runs on pure “what the hell?” this volume was pretty bonkers. – Sean Gaffney

The Ideal Sponger Life, Vol. 3 | By Tsunehiko Watanabe and Neko Hinotsuki | Seven Seas – Even when our lead couple have successfully coupled, there’s still intrigue. Zenjiro NOT taking a second lover is proving to be, you’ll pardon me, a royal pain, and his pretense (which is somewhat true) that he’s so gaga over Aura that he can’t even look at another woman will only take him so far. Worse, once Aura’s pregnancy gets out, it turns out that Zenjiro’s ancestors may actually ALSO be from this world, which means trouble if the two magical powers combine in their child. Fortunately, our hero is also really good at contractual language, something we rarely see in an isekai. I’ll be honest, this is a LOT more interesting than I was ever expecting. I want more. – Sean Gaffney

Queen Bee, Vol. 1 | By Shizuru Seino | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – I read Seino’s Girl Got Game back in the day, but truth be told, I didn’t like it very much. Queen Bee is definitely an improvement, though I continue to not love Seino-sensei’s approach to zany comedy. (I just think too hard about where random chainsaws came from, for example.) Anyway, the premise here is that Mihane Hirata is an aggressive girl with a scary face who’s in love with the class prince, Toma. He thinks she’s interesting and wants to get to know her, but doesn’t want her for a girlfriend. What I didn’t like was all the background characters who keep popping up to comment about how hideous Mihane is, but what I do like is both Mihane’s self-loathing and Toma’s insistence that she should just be herself. If this were longer, I might pass, but as it’s complete in three volumes, I will probably finish reading it. – Michelle Smith

Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out!, Vol. 1 | By Take| Seven Seas – Given the titular heroine, all puns intended, and the fact that the book literally has a raised cover so you can see her boobs stick out, you would think this would in fact be pretty lewd. It’s not. Aside from one or two accidental gropes and a brief shot of Uzaki in the shower, this is not a title about boobs. What is it? Well, picture Teasing Master Takagi-san if she were actually bad at it. Uzaki really likes her sempai and wants to hang out with him all the time. He finds her overeager personality and ludicrous breasts to be rather exhausting, but doesn’t dislike her per se, so they do in fact hang out a lot. Slice-of-life then occurs. If you like that sort of manga, and can tolerate the breasts, this is worth a look. – Sean Gaffney

The Way of the Househusband, Vol. 1 | By Kousuke Oono | Viz Media – One of the manga debuts that I was most looking forward to this year was The Way of the Househusband. The premise is simple enough—a legendary yakuza boss known as The Immortal Dragon has left the underworld behind and now lives a his life as a stay-at-home spouse—but Oono’s execution is brilliant. The intensity, fervor, and complete earnestness of this former yakuza in his approach to household chores, shopping, and all the rest is magnificent to behold. I would certainly be interested in learning more about The Immortal Dragon’s wife and the story behind them settling down into marital bliss, but even if that is never more than hinted at, I expect The Way of the Househusband will continue to be immensely satisfying and ridiculous in the best sort of ways. I was not at all disappointed by the first volume and am eagerly awaiting future installments. – Ash Brown

The Way of the Househusband, Vol. 1 | By Kousuke Oono | VIZ Media – Tatsu used to be a revered yakuza known as “The Immortal Dragon,” but now he’s given up that life to pursue happy domesticity. Seldom has a series won my heart so quickly. It actually wasn’t the “cozy yakuza comedy” aspect, though that offers plenty of amusing scenarios, from Tatsu thoroughly intimidating an unscrupulous door-to-door salesman to drafting rival thugs to help him at a bargain sale to taking cooking lessons with a bunch of ladies to exclaiming “hot damn” over a great deal on cabbage. No, it was the cat, curiously sauntering into the background to survey the goings-on. The kitty has the best reactions (and some bonus chapters of his own). Tatsu’s career-woman/otaku wife Miku is great, too, and I look forward to the story of how they met. This short volume goes by swiftly, but it is quite the treat. – Michelle Smith

Why Shouldn’t a Detestable Demon Lord Fall in Love? Vol. 1 | By Nekomata Nuko and teffish| Sol Press – This book is like just eating pure sugar from the bag. For once the demon lord is the one summoned to another world. He’s fine with that, as a) everyone hated and misunderstood him in his own world, and b) his summoner is a hot young woman raising two cute orphan children. He’s nice. She’s nice. The kids are nice. Even the tsundere kid is really nice. There is an evil lord and his evil assistant, and they are the standard “I have no redeeming features” brand of evil, but you get the sense they were put in by editorial decree. The author just likes writing sweet married life scenes. I don’t know whether this deserves more volumes, but it was pretty good. – Sean Gaffney

Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 3 | By Kamome Shirahama | Kodansha Comics – It’s titles like these that make you realize the sorts of things Harry Potter didn’t do. After resolving the cliffhanger of the previous volume, Coco continues to learn how to be a witch, helped by a young man in a potions workshop who can’t see colors, which makes it hard to, well, tell potions apart, as absentminded folks don’t really label them well. He’s a smart cookie, though, and shows her a shortcut that might help save her mother. Meanwhile, a lot of forces are making things more difficult for her—both actual antagonists, giving her secret powerful ink, or her own teacher, who may be more of a smiling villain than anything else. One of the best new titles this year. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown

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battybat-boss · 5 years

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Vaccines and Autism: Expert Exposes DOJ Vaccine Fraud

On Sunday evening, over 19 million people tuned in to watch the Golden Globe Awards, where hosts Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh surprised guests and nominees alike when they sent out a team of nurses to administer flu shots.

And while this ridiculous stunt was seen by millions and has already been discussed at length, there's something else that happened on Sunday that no one seems to be talking about.

On the show Full Measure with Sharyl Attkisson, it was revealed that pro-vaccine expert Dr. Andrew Zimmerman, whose testimony as an expert witness has been used to disprove a link between vaccines and autism, told government officials over a decade ago that vaccines actually can cause autism. The information has been kept secret until recently.

Welcome to Vaccine Court

The question of vaccine safety is a major point of contention in America. While many will claim unequivocally that vaccines are safe and effective, there is mounting evidence that there may be major health risks associated with these vaccines. The problem is that research standards for vaccines are so inadequate that it's hard to know what effects they truly have on our children.

Additionally, the manufacturers of these vaccines cannot be sued. Instead, victims must go through the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP). The VICP is a federal “no-fault” program designed to compensate those injured by childhood vaccines. Claims are heard in the U.S. Court of Federal Claims (CFC), which handles monetary claims against the government.

This court has a statute of limitations of 6 years and the government, which is always the defendant in CFC hearings, is represented by the Department of Justice. The VICP is managed by the department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the money for these claims comes from patient fees associated with vaccines, not from the companies that produce them.

And this is where we meet Dr. Zimmerman.

The Omnibus Autism Proceedings

In the early 2000s, the VICP faced over 5,000 cases alleging that vaccines had caused autism. Rather than hear these cases on an individual basis, the VICP set up the Omnibus Autism Proceedings, in which they examined six cases to determine if there was a link between vaccines and autism. They specifically looked at cases claiming that the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine or any vaccine containing the mercury-based preservative thimerosal might lead to autism.

The proceedings lasted from 2002 to 2010. Dr. Zimmerman was brought in by Department of Justice (DOJ) lawyers as an expert medical witness in support of the defense. Dr. Zimmerman is a pro-vaccine, board-certified, pediatric neurologist and former Director of Medical Research, Center for Autism and Related Disorders, Kennedy Krieger Institute, and Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

This doctor is no slouch and has no inherent bias against vaccines.

That's why, in 2007, he made an excellent witness for HHS in the Omnibus Autism Proceedings. And at first, things seemed to be going well. Regarding the case of Michelle Cedillo, Dr. Zimmerman testified that

There is no evidence of an association between autism and the alleged reaction to MMR and Hg [mercury], and it is more likely than not that there is a genetic basis for autism in this child.”

It was exactly what the DOJ needed to protect the HHS from a massive liability and to silence any doubt about the vaccine-autism connection.

But then, on Friday June 15th, 2007, Dr. Zimmerman spoke with Vincent Matanoski, the DOJ's lead attorney for the hearings, wanting to clarify his written expert opinion. The following is directly from Dr. Zimmerman's signed affidavit:

I clarified that my written expert opinion regarding Michelle Cedillo was a case-specific opinion as to Michelle Cedillo. My written expert opinion regarding Michelle Cedillo was not intended to be a blanket statement as to all children and all medical science.

I explained that I was of the opinion that there were exceptions in which vaccinations could cause autism.

I explained that my opinion regarding exceptions in which vaccines could cause autism was based upon advances in science, medicine, and clinical research of one of my patients in particular.”

Shortly after clarifying his opinion to the DOJ attorneys, Zimmerman was contacted and informed that he would no longer be needed as a witness for HHS. He had been scheduled to testify on Monday June 18th, just three days after his clarification to attorneys.

And you know what? It makes sense that lawyers wouldn't want to use an expert witness whose opinion could be detrimental to their case. But the DOJ took it a step further. After dismissing Dr. Zimmerman, they continued to lean on his written opinion regarding Michelle Cedillo, failing to disclose the clarifications the doctor had made.

Here's an excerpt from Vincent Matanoski's closing statement in another case during the Omnibus Autism Proceedings:

I did want to mention one thing about an expert who did not appear here, but his name has been mentioned several times, and that was Dr. Zimmerman.

Dr. Zimmerman actually has not appeared here, but he has given evidence on this issue, and it appeared in the Cedillo case. I just wanted to read briefly – because his name was mentioned several times by Petitioners in this matter – what his views were on these theories, and I'm going to quote from… the Cedillo case.”

He went on to recite Dr. Zimmerman's case-specific testimony without any mention of the doctor's clarifications. In fact, Matanoski was even so bold as to say, “We know his views on this issue.” And so, the expert medical opinion of Dr. Zimmerman was deliberately used out of context to help the HHS win a landmark proceeding which resulted in a formal ruling that vaccines do not cause autism.

Dr. Zimmerman's affidavit was signed in September 2018 and is just now coming into the light. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., an attorney and vaccine safety activist, has called it “One of the most consequential frauds, arguably in human history.”

According to Attkisson, Kennedy was “instrumental” in Dr. Zimmerman's decision to come forward and document his claim against the DOJ. Kennedy has since filed a fraud complaint with the Justice Department Inspector General.

Vaccine Safety Initiatives… Where Are They?

Government agencies like the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), which is a department of HHS, have continued to promote vaccines and insist that they do not cause autism. The fact that the government's expert medical witness has confirmed that vaccines can cause autism and have caused autism has never been made public.

This news is not being covered by the media. In fact, finding any reputable coverage on the doctor's affidavit is next to impossible. And I get it. If you question vaccine safety, you will immediately be branded as a lunatic; a dangerous, conspiracy-theorist quack. But if vaccines are so safe, and if there really is no connection between vaccines and autism, then why did the DOJ commit fraud against the American people?

The report featured several current and former politicians. All of them saif that the pharmaceutical industry has given so much money to people on Capitol Hill that it is nearly impossible to initiate vaccine safety initiatives. Florida Congressman Bill Posey says that he doesn't know if there's anyone more powerful than the pharmaceutical industry, and that leadership in his own party have twice promised to hold vaccine safety hearings “only to scuttle them in the end.”

You can be proactive by writing your congressional leaders and demanding that we take a closer look at the science.

You can demand transparency from your leaders when it comes to the money they receive from Big Pharma.

You can demand that Dr. Zimmerman and Vincent Matanoski be subpoenaed and questioned so that we can get real answers.

The pharmaceutical industry may be pumping money into Washington, but our elected officials still work for the American people. It's time for us to speak up.

Go here to find out which politicians represent you.

The post Vaccines and Autism: Expert Exposes DOJ Vaccine Fraud appeared first on The Truth About Cancer.

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lopezdorothy70-blog · 5 years

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Vaccines and Autism: Expert Exposes DOJ Vaccine Fraud

And while this ridiculous stunt was seen by millions and has already been discussed at length, there's something else that happened on Sunday that no one seems to be talking about.

Welcome to Vaccine Court

And this is where we meet Dr. Zimmerman.

The Omnibus Autism Proceedings

This doctor is no slouch and has no inherent bias against vaccines.

There is no evidence of an association between autism and the alleged reaction to MMR and Hg [mercury], and it is more likely than not that there is a genetic basis for autism in this child.”

It was exactly what the DOJ needed to protect the HHS from a massive liability and to silence any doubt about the vaccine-autism connection.

I explained that I was of the opinion that there were exceptions in which vaccinations could cause autism.

I explained that my opinion regarding exceptions in which vaccines could cause autism was based upon advances in science, medicine, and clinical research of one of my patients in particular.”

Here's an excerpt from Vincent Matanoski's closing statement in another case during the Omnibus Autism Proceedings:

I did want to mention one thing about an expert who did not appear here, but his name has been mentioned several times, and that was Dr. Zimmerman.

Vaccine Safety Initiatives… Where Are They?

You can be proactive by writing your congressional leaders and demanding that we take a closer look at the science.

You can demand transparency from your leaders when it comes to the money they receive from Big Pharma.

You can demand that Dr. Zimmerman and Vincent Matanoski be subpoenaed and questioned so that we can get real answers.

The pharmaceutical industry may be pumping money into Washington, but our elected officials still work for the American people. It's time for us to speak up.

Go here to find out which politicians represent you.

The post Vaccines and Autism: Expert Exposes DOJ Vaccine Fraud appeared first on The Truth About Cancer.

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reomanet · 5 years

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Guide dogs: Where do they really come from?

These are external links and will open in a new window Close share panel Guide dogs are like politicians or Santa Claus: it’s a bit hard to imagine them as babies. But while I’ve never had a playpen of MPs crawling around my living room (promise…), I can’t say the same about guide dog puppies. This is the story of where guide dogs for blind and partially-sighted people really come from. It includes: why they wear nail-varnish as soon as they’re born, why they’re never scared of fireworks, and why you really must play them Guns N’ Roses. Settle in, team. The pups and I have a tail we’d like to tell you… It was a hot July night when the 12 youngest children of Abby Seales made their appearance, slithering out in a 01:00 relay on my parents’ kitchen floor. Abby, aged five, half-Labrador and half-Retriever, had some typical canine symptoms during her nine-week pregnancy: A spot of morning sickness, low appetite, clinginess, and – in the final hours – panting and contractions. You could see the spasms move across her stomach when a puppy was on its way, each one ejected in a bag of fluid. In the wild, its mother would gnaw the sack open for the pup to take its first breath. But in this case, the job of ripping it fell to her human family. Five hours and one “is it stuck?!” panic later, a dozen perfect specimens lay curled beside their mum – six girls and six boys, 11 black and one lone golden. Why did these creatures, destined for life-changing work, enter the world in a bungalow in the Midlands instead of a high-tech vet’s surgery? The answer is that it’s standard practice. Every year, about 1,400-1,500 such pups are born in the UK, and Guide Dogs’ 270 breeding mothers live with volunteers as full-time pets. Abby, like the others, has never been a working guide dog – but she was marked out as breeding stock before she was born, as her parents had qualities the charity wanted to keep in the bloodline. Image caption Mother Abby gave birth to 12 puppies Before their mother dog is due to give birth, volunteers are taught how to deliver a puppy and sent the right kit – comfy, absorbent bedding, medical gloves, and a special “whelping box” where the pups will live, complete with bars round the sides to stop the mother dog from sitting on any that lie against the walls. In case of emergency, staff from Guide Dogs are on 24-hour call. At the risk of sounding evil, Labrador puppies aren’t at their cutest as newborns. They look like wrinkly hamsters. The Andrex Phase, when they lollop around irresistibly, kicks in at about five weeks. At six weeks, we know ours will leave their mother for the Guide Dogs National Breeding Centre near Leamington Spa, where they’ll have to pass a puppy profiling test – the first hurdle. Any that fail will be dropped from the guide dog programme. And what stands between these tiny squeakers and that judgement day is… just us. No pressure, right? Media playback is unsupported on your device Media caption Even the best-behaved guide dog has to start somewhere… So, first things first: the pups are born soggy. They get cold very easily, so each is gently dried with a soft towel and placed under an infrared heat lamp with its mother. As soon as one lies next to another, a problem emerges: at a few hours old, they look identical – but it’s vital that we can tell them apart. Coloured collars would work, but playfighting pups can get tangled up in them. The lifesaver? Nail varnish. Each puppy gets a dab in a different place on its coat soon after birth, which its human carers use as a code. The mark is placed where it’s easy to spot – above any of the pup’s legs, or at the base of its tail. A little girl with a mark above her right foreleg would be known as “RFG” – or “right fore girl”. And “LHB” would be “left hind boy” – a male puppy with a mark on his back leg. They aren’t the catchiest names, it’s true. Pups get their proper ones at six weeks, when they’re taken to the National Breeding Centre. In the meantime, some volunteers call them all after characters in Coronation Street or Harry Potter. But in the Seales family and dozens of others, it’s become almost normal to coo, “h , little right fore girrrr !” at a tiny, wriggling ball of dog. In this litter, we made one exception: The single golden puppy in our dirty dozen was nicknamed “Mourinho” after the famous football manager Jose, who named himself “the Special One”. Labs are legendary for their greed, and I can confirm the instinct kicks in young. At feeding time, each one turns into a milk-seeking missile. Between zero and two weeks old, they are functionally blind and deaf, and can’t stand up – so they move around by shuffling, like seals. When not competing for a teat, they can often be seen in a “cuddle puddle” formation – nestled close to each other and their mother for comfort and warmth. One of our littlest puppies quickly stood out because she seemed to lack the manic milk craving the rest were exhibiting. At two days old, she wasn’t suckling properly and was noticeably weak and floppy. Worse still, her weight was falling instead of rising rapidly. Puppies can deteriorate within hours at this age and we were extremely worried we might lose her. Cradling the blanket-wrapped pup, we sought advice from Abby’s brilliant “doggy midwife”, Karen Stanton (formal title: “Guide Dogs Brood Bitch Supervisor”), who visited the litter every few days to check their welfare. Her verdict: hand-feed the puppy every two hours with a syringe or a baby-style bottle, and a special formula milk. Image caption “Poorly Pup” wasn’t feeding from her mother normally at two days old – a crucial time for growing puppies I definitely can’t say this was easy. Not least because at the start, “Poorly Pup” (as she became known) was close to death and could hardly hold her head up. I can, thank heaven, say it was successful. Over several weeks, milk from her mother plus additional hand-feeding eventually got her weight up to a healthy level. Puppies develop at an extremely rapid rate, which is both amazing and disarming to watch. Between weeks two and three, they learn to stand, totter around like furry drunks, then walk steadily. Tails start wagging, they make a small growly noise, and playfighting breaks out everywhere. Guide dog pups try their first solid food between weeks three and four – and mealtimes become a messy affair. The charity favours a device called the “multi-feeder”, where up to six pups can eat at the same time from six separate bowls. This rarely happens, as several would rather dive feet-first into their neighbour’s dinner. If they were baby people, this would be the hideous toddler feeding stage… Luckily for our sanity, puppies also love sleep, which they pursue with the ardour of Olympians in a medal year. They also yawn more adorably than any creature yet seen on Earth. Maybe you’re wondering about the weird Guns N’ Roses reference at the start of this piece. Believe it or not, it wasn’t (only) a clickbaity attempt to entice you in. In fact, music is part of “puppy socialisation”, in which the mini hound learns to understand and interact with humans, and gets used to non-threatening noises and other goings-on. Volunteers get a tick-list of things the pups should be introduced to – noisy toys and alarm clocks from week three, for example – and are encouraged to play them a wide variety of music. Ours got classic rock, Motown legends, a spot of Vivaldi, and some brass bands just in case their future owners like the trombone. Since working guide dogs have to be calm about pet-spooking noises like bin trucks and thunderstorms, the charity also hands out a CD full of “bad” sounds to be introduced when they’re two weeks old. (Sorry about the fireworks, little ones…) By six weeks, the rascally brood are annoying their mother with their sharp puppy teeth, and it’s time for them to start the first leg of their training journey. After many cuddles, all 12 leave at once, borne off to the National Breeding Centre, and the house feels unnaturally quiet without their squeaks, yelps and growls. At the centre, experts will test their temperaments, judging their confidence levels. It may sound brutal, but timid pups are unlikely to make good guides, and the charity deems it better not to put them through unnecessary stress. There’s still a happy ending for pups that fail the assessment, though. They will be offered to other charities whose work relies on assistance and therapy dogs. Dogs for Good, for example, trains canines to help people with disabilities. Their amazing animals can fetch items from supermarket shelves, open doors, or even help empty the washing machine. Dog changes life of allergy sufferer Some pups will go to work as medical detection dogs, supporting people with serious health conditions. Someone with a life-threatening nut allergy might have a dog to sniff rooms for nut traces, for example. Image caption Anna Marinker, a dog care supervisor at the Guide Dogs National Breeding Centre, with two of the pups As for the pups that pass the Guide Dogs tests, they’ll be sent off across the UK to live with Puppy Walkers – volunteers who look after them from the age of seven weeks, until they’re 14 months old and ready to start training in earnest. For the benefit of this story, I was allowed into the breeding centre to see our puppies one last time. I’m not convinced Poorly Pup knew who I was, but I was certainly glad to see her again – curious, healthy, and on the verge of a new adventure. Every year in the UK, 850 new guide dogs are carefully matched with blind or partially sighted owners. In many cases, it’s a life-changing partnership. To our absolute joy, this whole litter passed their puppy assessment tests, so they’re all in the running to join them. All pictures subject to copyright Related Topics