#this is written in ascending order of streams

[egregiousderp]

Do you have a current media obsession you could talk about for hours?

I can infodump about many things for many hours. 😬

Really, the trick if you’re a poorly socialized ascended feral paper genius is finding people who ask you and mean it, and then not scaring them off by actually talking for hours. (Unless they’re down. A good chunk of my friends are also neurodivergent so this is basically a love language if you’re certain brands of that.)

Dungeon Meshi’s the one that’s ongoing and is pretty standard right now. The fandom’s booming. The worldbuilding’s excellent. The characters are fun and have excellent development. The dubbed voice acting (for me) is ideal. And the anime-only people are barely even at the tip of the iceberg for how the series is going to escalate.

The reason I can keep up with dungeon meshi/Delicious in Dungeon though is because it releases weekly with a single episode. I have trouble sitting down and just…watching TV.

Left to my own devices my streaming is pretty much all anime and cooking shows.

If media includes books, though, Locked Tomb Series also has really excellent characters and worldbuilding. It’s been marketed as “lesbian necromancers in space” but that makes it sound like a Young Adult Fiction and it’s. Not. As a series, it’s done in such a way where you kind of have to go back and reread it and recontectualize the dialogues—even the background ones. And it has some of the most wonderfully written unreliable narration I’ve ever seen. It’s a series DESIGNED for rereading, even, I’d say. (Which is always a plus if you’re the kind of person who reads a book in three hours and is prone to rereading.)

I also really like the Murderbot Diaries. That’s a bit shorter. It’s a series of sci-fi novellas centering around a… constructed human? It’s pretty hard to explain what Murderbot actually is without context on the series. But the protag’s an Agender artificially created security unit with some human parts and human intelligence and paranoia who’s hacked the chip in its head that tells it to follow orders.

The storylines are simpler, so mostly what I’m enjoying is it’s first person POV being Narrated by Murderbot itself with all its scathing commentary about everything.

There’s a really delightful audiobook of All Systems Red, the first Novella, if that’s more your speed than sitting down with a book.

Or. You know.

I did actually sit down with my sister and her fiancé and talk about Star Wars for about four hours yesterday. But that’s pretty standard for me when I find Star Wars People. Good times.

[bobafett]

i loved that poll that was getting passed around asking about whether people felt like their fic on AO3 with the highest kudos was actually the best fic they'd posted because it made me think about what i think my best fics are. definitive ranking in ascending order:

3) they don't sing songs for me (star wars sequel trilogy, rated G) -- this one is fulfilling an absolutely vital fanfiction function in that it is about the relationship between two characters who have no business interacting. there is absolutely no reason asajj ventress and rey should know each other, but i wrote 8k about them adopting one another. the only reason this one doesn't rank higher is that i wrote it 6 years ago and have become a much better writer in the interim.

2) night shift (batman comics, rated T) -- i've been writing batcat on and off since 2019, but this is the one where i really feel like i got the proper blend of bruce-character-study and vaguely-aro-batcat-special-sauce. multiple people have complimented the way they feel like real friends in this fic, and i ride that high every time i go back to writing the pairing. the vibes are just right, y'know?

and finally:

1) high water mark (star wars empire era, rated T) -- not only is this the best fic i've ever written by a wide margin, but i think it might be one of the best things i've ever written period. full stop. stylistically and structurally, it accomplishes exactly what i wanted it to. it captures all the things i find most interesting and tragic about the clones and order 66. i think i pulled off some pretty damn good outsider POVs (if i do say so myself). it's also an insanely niche roleswap fic that's also fanfic of a fanfic (sidebar: stream less than zero by yellow_caballero), but honestly? that's kinda why it's so good. specificity is king.

[deviija]

Red Bear’s Annual Skyhold Spooktacular Celebration

(This is a twitter thread adventure that I did for Twitter, but am reposting it here to save it for posterity, and for folks to enjoy.)

Happy All Hallows' Eve, friends of Thedas! 

The moon is rising, the costumed guests are arriving, and the stars have come out to watch the spirits play. Welcome to Red Bear's Annual Skyhold Spooktacular Celebration Day   

 Come inside and enjoy the festivities!

(Come one and all, share your OCs’ costumes for this years’ special spooky day! Whether it is art, moodboards, photos of what they’d wear, moody screenarchery, prose writing descriptions, all is welcome! Share them here and let us all enjoy the creativity and festivities.)

Lace Harding is standing beside the stairs leading up to the entryway, dressed up in a replica of Cassandra’s Seeker attire and a black feathered domino mask over her face. 

She checks your invitations and cheerfully welcomes you inside.

The faint sounds of laughter, glasses clinking, and the murmuring melody of music grows louder as you ascend the steps. Decorations lining the railings and hanging from the rafters. 

 When you pass through the sunburst doors, you are to be greeted by a warm, booming voice.

“My friend! You made it!” Red Bear proceeds to crush you in tight hug that lifts you off your feet, then quickly sets you back down and looks sheepish for his overexcitement. “Come in, come in! We have just started serving the food and refreshments!”

Off to your left, there is a desk with an open guestbook to sign your name in, and even leave a message for the host if you wish.

Dressed up as Grand Duke Reynaud, complete with festering poison wound, is Grim of Bull’s Chargers. You can tell by how talkative he is when serving drinks and taking drink orders.

  *Grunts*

He hands you a tiny menu of drinks and desserts.

There are alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, along with some deliciously rich cupcakes and devilishly sweet cakes. 

You can have a seat with your refreshments at one of the nearby tables.

There is also plenty of food cooked and set out upon the rows of tables lining the hall. From roasted vegetable platters, savory soup bisques, to minced meat pies. All prepared by the Spirit Healer himself and his kitchen staff helpers.

As you sit and eat, or drink, or rest and just take in the sights of the decorated hall, the bards entertain with a collection of jaunty thrilling and chilling seasonal songs. Please, relax and enjoy yourself before the costume event begins.

Some couples dance to the festive music, while others merge into clusters of animated silhouettes, gossiping and merrily chatting among themselves. Red Bear’s unmistakable belly laugh can be heard in the background.

With the moonlight streaming through the stained glass windows, the Qunari host clinks his glass to get the room's attention. It is time to share costumed looks! One by one, everyone has a chance to come up and introduce themselves and share their costume and inspiration.

Red Bear introduces himself as Lord Vampire Corram of Grand Forest Villa, Siren of the Hinterlands, Handyman of Redcliffe (but you know, in a spooky way), and a pretty good hobbyist whittler.

After everyone has a chance to share, the time comes for the final tally. Josie, in ornate phoenix gown and masque, hands over a card with a written name upon it. The bards all drum their hands on their lutes. 

 And the winner of this year's annual Spooktacular is... 

 You!

Everyone is welcome to retire to the Herald’s Rest to continue the night’s jubilations and celebrations, with even more dancing and refreshments. 

Stay for the night, stay for the hour, stay as long as you desire! Thank you for attending this year’s Skyhold Spooktacular!

(Hope you enjoyed this silly little adventure thread. I just wanted to do something cute for  friends and the community at my favorite time of year. We could all use some thrilling celebration and spoopy enjoyment. Be safe out there, have lots of fun! Happy Halloween!)

~ F I N 

[mylyricpages]

INTERVIEW WITH JEFF SCOTT # 8 ( 2023 )

“After twenty years I keep thinking what else is there left to write about, but to my constant surprise life keeps providing inspiration.”

Barely a year after ‘On The Outside Looking In’ James Ellis is releasing not just one but two new lyric collections. “I had my doubts if I’d even do a collection this year,” he tells Jeff Scott, “but I ended up with more stuff than I knew what to do with.”

IT’S AN UNUSUALLY hot morning in early September, the nation basking in an unexpected heat wave after weeks of unsettled weather. Mercifully though, there’s a cool breeze bringing some slight relief. Caswell Bay, Swansea is brimming with activity, families filling up the beach, dipping in the sea, and across the way car after car arrives in a constant stream. We got here early. We’re sat outside the Surfside Café, queues are building at the nearby ice cream parlour and there’s already bustling going on at the local surf school hut.

I’m sat with here James Ellis, who’s picked this splendid piece of the Gower coast to talk about his two new lyric collections. Yes, that’s two, the first time he’s written more than one in the same year since 2013. “It caught me by surprise,“ he says. As you probably know by this point we’ve done this a fair few times before. You know the story, he finishes a new project, I interview him. It’s worked pretty well since 2012. We’ve talked life, music, his books, his comics, we’ve even collaborated on two volumes of his memoirs, but today, it’s the lyrics again.

It’s been a busy time for both of us lately and unlike our usual meet ups our time today is short. So quickly we get down to business, him with his coke zero, me with a fresh brew. We’ve agreed to dive pretty much straight into the songs albeit this time around we’re doing things a little differently and discussing them in the order they were written.

We begin with the 15 ‘songs’ on the first collection ’We Are Ascending.’

Dear Life

This was the first thing I wrote at the tail end of spring, pretty much in the last days of May. It was written alongside a very early version of ‘Twilight’s Last Stand,’ which was far longer and called ‘Shadowlands’ then.

For this collection I originally had a bunch of lyrical themes I wanted to explore but once ’Dear Life’ was done that idea didn’t work for me anymore. I guess I felt like I’d explored that way of doing things well enough with ‘On The Outside Looking In’ and going forward I decided I’d let whatever was going to come out just come out and get the hell out of its way.

It’s basically about me writing a letter to life and asking a few questions.

Broken Teeth

If anything represents the themes of ‘We Are Ascending’ I think it’s this. What I realised in writing ‘Dear Life’ is that this collection was going to be more about how I see the world, about what’s going on around me, rather than what’s going on inside me. ‘On The Outside …’ was very much an introspective thing and I realised while writing ‘Dear Life’ that I wanted to get away from that way of doing it for a bit. From that point it became very much about the times we’re living in. Once I figured that out I knew I had something I could explore.

I’ve had the first verse since the early part of the ‘Electric Hymns’ sessions, I’ve just struggled to find a good place for it until I realised it was actually an opening verse. Once I figured that out the rest just flowed. It’s pretty much about our current digital age and social media.

We Breathe/ We Breathe ( Reprise )

It started out as one song as these things often do, but when I got around to typing it up proper it seemed too long. I liked everything in it though. It had a significant middle section which was what I basically pulled out for the reprise but there were still a few verses that didn’t make it. As it turned out I liked the way having a reprise gave a little more cohesion to the collection, with things echoing a bit.

Both parts are about our relationship with the world around us, how we relate to it in both good and bad ways. They’re about the current not so good path we seem to be on but I made sure it had some hope too.

Ghost Of A Town

Written about my hometown. Much I love it, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s become a ruin of its former self. Empty shops, half empty streets, buildings falling apart, it just has a general sense of neglect. It’s not a shit hole by any means, not yet, but it feels like it’s at a point where it could certainly go that way. It’s been one bad local authority decision after another for decades since I was young.

It’s a place with a rich history. It was a brilliant, thriving market town when I was growing up but for reasons I’ll never fathom anything that made it unique or historically interesting has been taken away and its soul has been eroded. I just wanted to capture the feeling I get when I go there now. It’s not a ghost town but there’s a sense of it you can’t deny. People are fighting to keep it alive and I admire that too.

The title popped into my head one day when I was walking through the streets and it kind of perfectly summed up how I felt in that moment.

Intermission # 1 & #2

I wanted two really short pieces, something I hadn’t done for a while. I think the words have a kind of music hall feel to them but I’m no expert on that so I could be wrong. Early on I considered splitting the collection into three parts. When that idea later solidified I thought it might be nice to have these little intermissions, maybe just a verse, to end acts 1 and 2. I basically used the template for Intermission # 1 to write # 2 as I wanted them to be companion pieces.

Ministry Of Light

This came out of Intermission # 1 as I was figuring out how that was going to go. There was a bunch of lyrics that didn’t sit right in it but I quite liked and I was pretty sure I could still do something with them.

I have to be honest here and say I’m still not sure what this song is about. I know I wanted to write something that was a kind of hopeful thing, a mantra of sorts, about shining a light on things instead of throwing shadow over them, about veering more to the positive side of things. I wanted a kind of communal feeling to it. I’m not sure I captured what I was after but it‘s still got stuff in it I really like.

King Without A Crown

King Without A crown started out very differently. It sprang from a random few lines I wrote down which went something like ‘You lived your life/ you lived your life so well/ you were a king without a crown.’ It was originally about someone I knew, someone who died suddenly and died far too young, but it wasn’t working, not like I’d hoped it would anyway, and as I rewrote, it became much more of a universal thing. Who knows, I may still get to use those lines one day.

A Sympathetic Sound

Some of the verses are from the original version of ‘We Are Ascending,’ which I wrote around the same time as ‘Dear Life’ and the original version of ‘Twilight’s Last Stand,’ and quite frankly that version didn’t work. I liked the verses so I kept them until I found a suitable place.

It’s about the daily struggle we all go through in our lives but also about that sense we always feel that things will somehow get better, that sense of hope that we’ll always turn a corner toward something better.

We Are Ascending

This updated version came directly out of writing ‘A Sympathetic Sound.’ On revisiting the original version of this I realised, in a real light bulb moment, how I could get to the version I’d been trying to write in the first place. Once I’d figured that out the rest of just flowed.

The theme of it came out of ‘A Sympathetic Sound’ too. In a way it feels they’re two halves of the same thing. They’re about the same thing.

A National Address

A bit of a tricky one this. I had no idea how I felt about organised religion or the Church itself until the words hit the page. I have to admit I debated with myself about putting this out into world as I don’t want to offend anyone. Faith is one thing, everyone has faith in something, friends, family, God, we’re spiritual beings at heart, but when a group starts dictating to people how they should live their lives, embrace something they don’t believe in, that’s where I draw a line.

I’m not attacking anyone’s belief system, just how it’s corrupted by certain elements of certain institutions to further their own agenda. It was surprising how fast and how easily it all came together to be honest.

Alchemy

Now this came easily and nearly fully formed, unexpectedly so and it’s always nice when that happens as mostly it can be like pulling teeth.

The chorus came first, then a few days later the verses. I already had the ‘beauty in the tragic’ part and that just slotted in really nicely as if it belonged. It’s about how we remember those who’ve gone, about how we deal with that and how we keep their memory alive, for them and us.

Swimming Not To Drown

Written in bits and pieces over about a week. It didn’t exactly come in order either, nothing was where I felt it should be and it took a few more days once I had those bits and pieces to figure out how it all fitted.

It was only on putting the finishing touches to it that I realised what it was about. As with a fair few songs in the sessions for ‘We Are Ascending’ it’s about having hope in things, that whatever’s getting us down we’ll get through it by helping ourselves and helping each other.

The Class OF 23

There was going to be a completely different song in the position this takes up in the collection but my nephew was just finishing up in secondary school for good, which of course, is a big moment in his life.

I wanted to mark that somehow and the words just came tumbling out in a few hours. It’s certainly the song that took the least time on this collection, but it felt fully formed as soon as I put the words down.

*

[spiritsoulandbody]

#DailyDevotion Though We Sow With Tears, We Shall Reap With Rejoicing

#DailyDevotion Though We Sow With Tears, We Shall Reap With Rejoicing Psalm 126 When the LORD restored the captives of Zion, we were like those who dream. 2Then our mouths were filled with laughter, and our tongues were shouting happily. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD did great things for them." 3The LORD has done great things for us – we are glad! 4O LORD, make us prosperous again as the streams return in the South. 5Though you may sow with tears, you will reap with shouts of joy. 6Though you may go out weeping, carrying your seed bag, you will surely come home singing, carrying your sheaves. This psalm of ascent seems to be written after the exile to Babylon. While the LORD used the hand of the wicked king of Babylon to punish His people for their idolatry, He now uses the wicked king of Persia to restore them back to their homeland. It had been seventy years and no doubt most of those two and a half generations who were alive at the beginning of the exile were no more. Only the youngest who may have had only a glimmer of Zion's former glory were still left. Yet, while in exile, the LORD used His prophets to re-educate the people in the ways of the LORD. They knew of Israel's former glory. Now to be actually going home must have seemed like a dream to them. Since they were returning home as a nation, to their own land their mouths were filled with laughter and they shouted happily. In remembrance of this restoration, this psalm was written to be sung as they ascended Mt. Zion to the Temple of the LORD. Those who perhaps were converted later in life or who fell away and were reconverted, know the feeling of living for a short time as if in a dream. They remember the weight and burden of sin, guilt and shame being removed from them. They remember being delivered from the bondage of darkness to the marvelous light of the LORD. Those who were baptized as babies and never fell away may still feel this when they go to the LORD's Supper, private confession and absolution or even the public absolution at the beginning of the service. Yet both must drudge along the Way of happy destiny, as the final verses address. I do see these first several verses being fulfilled in their totality when the LORD Jesus Christ returns and His kingdom reigns on earth without hindrance. When we shed these mortal bodies weighed down by sin and receive from the LORD Jesus Christ an immortal, imperishable, and glorious body like His, it will indeed be like a dream. The nations declared the LORD has done great things for them. While the nations opposed the Jews rebuilding of the city walls and the Temple, nevertheless, when the LORD fought for the Jews and had them succeed, they could do no less than declare the LORD has done great things for them. We join in the hymn the LORD has done great things for us. More loudly and greatly shall we sing this when Jesus takes us from this veil of tears into His marvelous light. The nations will agains say how great the LORD is as He delivers us from their hands on that great and terrible day. So we petition the LORD to make us prosperous again. Before we experience that truly awesome life in the resurrection of our flesh and creation though, we shall sow with tears. Jesus promises in Matt. 5, "4Blessed are those who mourn - they will be comforted." So in Matt. 10 Jesus says, "38If you don't take your cross and follow Me, you're not worthy of Me. 39If you find your life, you'll lose it, but if you lose your life for Me, you'll find it." Again in chapter 16 He says, “If you want to follow Me, deny yourself, take up your cross, and come with Me. 25If you want to save your soul, you will lose it. But if you will lose your soul for Me, you will find it." In Rom. 8 Paul says, "we share in His suffering in order that we may also share in His glory. 18I think what we suffer now isn't important when I compare it with the glory to be revealed to us." So yes, in this life we will sow with tears but we shall at the end of the age reap with shouts of joy. We will come home singing carrying the sheaves, the fruits of our present suffering. Heavenly Father, preserve us in the faith as we sow with tears in this age, we may have glimpses of the glory to come and at the end experience the joy of glory. In Jesus' name we pray.Amen. Read the full article

[bills-bible-basics]

BOOK OF LIFE -- KJV (King James Version) Bible Verse List KJV Bible verse list compiled by #BillKochman for #BillsBibleBasics. Topic: "Book of Life". Visit https://www.billkochman.com/VerseLists/ to see all my lists. Based on the information that is found in the following verses, it appears that the Lamb's Book of Life is a separate Book that is opened during the Great White Throne Judgment. The other Books which are opened appear to be Record Books which contain all of our deeds in this earthly life. No matter what one has done in this current life, in order to be found written in the Lamb's Book of Life, he must have accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, because this is the only way to blot out our sins before our Heavenly Father. "Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.‭" Luke 10:20, KJV "A fiery stream issued and came forth from before him: thousand thousands ministered unto him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him: the judgment was set, and the books were opened." Daniel 7:10, KJV "And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works . . . And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." Revelation 20:12, 15, KJV "And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book." Exodus 32:33, KJV "[To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.] Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions . . . Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Psalm 51:1, 9, KJV "Yet, LORD, thou knowest all their counsel against me to slay me: forgive not their iniquity, neither blot out their sin from thy sight, but let them be overthrown before thee; deal thus with them in the time of thine anger." Jeremiah 18:23, KJV "And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life." Philippians 4:3, KJV "He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels." Revelation 3:5, KJV "And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world." Revelation 13:8, KJV "The beast that thou sawest was, and is not; and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit, and go into perdition: and they that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names were not written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, when they behold the beast that was, and is not, and yet is." Revelation 17:8, KJV "And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life." Revelation 21:27, KJV "And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book." Revelation 22:19, KJV "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Isaiah 1:18, KJV Please also see the following KJV Bible verse lists: According to Our Works Give an Account Our Sins Won't Remain Hidden Washed in the Blood of the Lamb If you would like more info regarding the origin of these KJV Bible verse lists, go to https://www.billkochman.com/VerseLists/. Thank-you!

https://www.billkochman.com/Blog/index.php/book-of-life-kjv-king-james-version-bible-verse-list/?feed_id=76926&_unique_id=650f79fd6ca99&BOOK%20OF%20LIFE%20--%20KJV%20%28King%20James%20Version%29%20Bible%20Verse%20List

[phagechildon]

A very small exert from chapter two of my Modern Hualian “Cursed Blessing” fic on AO3. I really hate the way I wrote the first chapter since at first it was just a stream of thoughts I stitched into a coherent back story orz Because of that it’s hard to write more of it. Maybe I’ll rewrite it or tell people to skip it cause it’s a “Prologue.” Or maybe I’ll keep it that way it is, we’ll see x.x This is a rough draft~ It’s sort of like a X-Men/Mutants/Fae AU where people have powers, but not everyone. Naturally, thanks to that, the world is out of balance. Xie Lian was born with an exceptionally rare gift, one that could save the world. But that very world made it a cursed blessing. 

---

Disbelief ran heavily through Xie Lian as he stared at the order written down on his coworker’s notepad, not knowing if he should laugh or cry. It was one in the afternoon on a Tuesday, a Tuesday, and someone ordered the Ascending Fire Dragon drink. Being an extravagant cafe with a notorious bar, they were used to seeing people ordering all kinds of alcoholic drinks, but this was the rarest. 

“Who ordered this?” Xie Lian quietly asked his coworker, who merely tilted his head towards the front of the cafe. By the window, hidden behind the outrageously expensive decor hanging off the booths and walls, was a handsome man with long black hair tied back in a ponytail bearing a plain black eyepatch over his right eye. His sleek crimson leather jacket glistened with a few black butterflies embroidered on it, concealing a tight black shirt underneath that was playfully half untucked from his black ripped jeans. There was no doubt in his mind that both ladies and men threw themselves at him, which was probably why he requested this drink. 

“I’ll handle it,” his coworker reassured. “I’ll call you when it’s safe.”

This was no ordinary order. Those who chose the drink ‘Ascending Fire Dragon’ only did so when they desperately needed help. As sad as it was, it was mostly ordered by females who were in abusive relationships, being held captive, or were approached and didn’t feel safe. During such times one bartender stayed to make sure the other bartender (or free employee) was able to escort the customer safely away until help arrived, usually through the back door. 

What confused Xie Lian was how calm the customer looked, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Some people ordered this by accident, which is why they had discrete questions that further helped them decide if this really was a situation. If his coworker brought the order over, it could only mean this was such a situation.

“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. This wasn’t going to end well, it never did when it involved him. If they weren’t the only two on staff right now aside from the kitchen help, he’d slip away by himself, taking the misfortune and bad luck far away in an attempt to give both his work and the one in need a better chance. 

Calmly making his way over to the man with dashingly good looks, he gave him the warmest smile he could muster. With nothing blocking his sight, he noticed no one else around customer, confusing Xie Lian even more. Was the person making him uncomfortable in the bathroom?

“Please follow me to pick out the fruit for your drink,” he said, motioning with his hand in the direction of the kitchen. “It’s a special customized blend, after all.” A shiver ran down Xie Lian’s spine as the man’s lone crimson eye stared into his own. That angular yet soft face held a few scars which only accentuated his captivating beauty, making it hard to look at anything else. 

Realizing he was staring, he cleared his throat, silently berating himself for making someone who’s already uncomfortable probably feel worse. 

The man finally smiled, a little wickness creasing under his eyes. Xie Lian had to tear his gaze away to refocus on the urgency of the situation. “I’d be my honor,” the man said as he rose. 

Just as expected, he was quite taller than Xie Lian, but not uncomfortably so. This poor man probably went through awkward and uncomfortable situations a lot. Still, it was odd, he thought, as he started leading him back towards the kitchen. Familiar doubt and dread started creeping into his heart, his eyes observing only two other customers in the cafe, both of which were regulars. The bathrooms were located just beyond the bar, and as far as he’s aware, no one’s gone in. 

Could this be a set up? He hated to think this man was using the opportunity to kidnap him, but how could he not? After so many years of cruel torment, trust was something he held with a grain of salt. Glancing back, he saw the young man had a strange twinkle in his eye and a smile filled with so much innocent happiness Xie Lian nearly tripped into the doorframe. This clearly wasn't the face of someone who was afraid, and it wasn’t the face of someone with ill intent. After so many years being hunted by what seemed to be half the world, he’s become an expert at getting a good read of someone at a glance. This fondness, he dare say, seemed to be towards him. 

Nah, that couldn’t be right. People hardly ever spared a glance in his direction.

Moving to turn back around, he caught sight of a rather large group of people walking alongside the outside glass before the front door was nearly torn from its hinges. Most of the group looked disheveled, parts of them bleeding while others were severely cut and bruised. 

“You little shit, where are you?!” One of them bellowed. Xie Lian quickly reached back and grabbed the young man’s wrist, pulling him swiftly through the kitchen. 

This handsome fellow asked for help to escape a group he tussled with outside their cafe? The odds of something that outlandish happening while on his shift made him snort, his smile ashening. Of course it would. Thankfully his coworker had a pretty good silver tongue, and even if that failed, there was a gun hiding beneath the bar. With a group that large and with Xie Lian being there, he couldn’t help but fear the worst.  

I want to burn, Xie Lian violently bit his lip, careful not to draw blood. That would only make the situation a thousand times worse. The cooks looked up at them in shock, used to seeing the other staff carefully leading someone away, but not in such a rush. 

“Follow them!!” Someone angrily shouted, making Xie Lian gasp and speed up. Coming up to the back door, he grabbed a frying pan and used his shoulder to burst through it. Behind them he could hear the clattering of pots and pans along with shattering dishes.

Crap, they were catching up!

Turning towards the entrance that led to the next street, Xie Lian pulled the other to hide behind the large green dumpster that belonged to the cafe. Not the most pleasant place, but it was better than being beaten!

Pounding footsteps poured into the alley, all of which came to a halt. “What the fuck?” One of them gasped, a growl following after. “Where the hell did they go?!”

Hearing them spread out, Xie Lian clenched the frying pan tighter while his eyebrows knitted in worry and concentration. Tomorrow was trash day, meaning theirs was nearly spilling onto the street. Though it may not smell great, the piles cleverly hid their bodies from any prying eyes. With his luck though, these thugs were probably going to check the dumpster. 

“Let’s go back, they must’ve pulled a fast one on us!”

What.

“No way, I saw them come out!”

No way.

“Maybe they hid behind one of the counters, or found another door?”

What… was happening? Were they really giving up and going back in?

“Yeah, we would’ve seen them still running away.”

Was his bad luck effecting the staff inside instead?! He didn’t bleed, and no one tugged on his hair, so how was that possible??

[santmat]

The Fall and Rise of the Gnostics: Gnostic Gospels Explored - Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcasts

Discover why these Gnostic Gospels and other writings got purged from the Western world during the Fourth Century. Celebrate the sages of Judaism, Neoplatonism and Pythagoreanism that helped to give birth to all of these amazing spiritual movements of antiquity such as the Essenes, Sethians, Mandaeans, Ebionites (mentioned in the Book of Acts, the Hebrew Christians lead by James the Just -- "Christianity before Paul"), Valentinians, Manichaeans, Cathars, and other groups that once represented "cousin" schools of spirituality that have much in common with living paths of today such as Kabbalah, Sufism, and Sant Mat.

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast: The Fall and Rise of the Gnostics: Gnostic Gospels Explored - Listen, Download, Subscribe @ the Podcast Website:

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Instead of a wafer-thin New Testament at the end of a very long old covenant, how about a huge treasure-trove of New Testament type literature, including poetry, psalms and odes? Some of the twelve surviving codices of the Nag Hammadi or Gnostic Gospels were organized with a curious New Testament-like format of: 1) gospels, followed by, 2) letters or spiritual discourses, and then, 3) books of revelation (heavenly apocalypses). These revelations consist of the visionary or out-of-body encounters by various Saints soul-traveling through several heavenly realms of consciousness. This almost two thousand year old "time capsule", now known as the Nag Hammadi Library, has set in motion a spiritual revolution.

Before the Sufis, in antiquity there were some who were vegetarians, followed a practice of being "initiated into the Mysteries of the Kingdom of the Heavens" by a living teacher, and during their meditation practice repeated several sacred names that correspond to various inner regions. Their goal was to spiritually ascend through several heavenly realms in order to return to the timeless Supreme Being in the highest realm. Some called this Being "The Nameless One". There are references to inner Light and Sound. There are also references to a Kal Niranjan type being, a false god or negative power called "the Demiurge". Several Sant Mat authors have written books about the Gnostics and the parallels between Gnosticism and the Path of the Masters.

One of the Gnostic scriptures called "Pistis Sophia" contains many beautiful hymns and prayers. Though reincarnation is mentioned as a reality, the goal of salvation was to liberate souls from material captivity, reincarnation, the wheel of fate, and go back to God again. Souls were given the ability to mystically travel via the Holy Stream of Light. In Pistis Sophia (the Book of Faith-Wisdom) Christ says, "Seek, all of you, after the Light, so that the power of your soul that is in you may live. Do not cease seeking day or night until you find the mysteries of the Kingdom of Light, which will purify you, make you into pure Light and lead you into the Kingdom of the Light."

In Divine Love, Light and Sound,

James Bean

Sant Mat Satsang Podcasts

Spiritual Awakening Radio

https://www.SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com

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[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 11 [13] August 1840

6 ¼

9 ½

awaked last night between 1 and 2 cats at my cheese and children squalling enough to distract the old gentleman himself A- awoke me before 6 anxious to be off – she ordered the horses – she out of sorts – terrible – did a good job so many women and people knew not whom to give to – gave nothing – the cottages so hid amid the trees and vines and 8ft. high maize hardly visible except when close upon them – off at 6 50/.. – the children especially and the men and women look pale and yellow and unealthy in this moist hot bottom – at 7 35/.. Engour [Enguri] fine river nearish (left) ascend highish (left bank) above it and go upwards along its broad bouldery bedded island streamy course – for over thro’ lanes of alder and hazel every now and then in our eyes – bits of deep mud every now and then at 8 ¼ at the village (large) of Dvjari i.e. orchards vine-covered trees alders pyrus diospyrus [diospyros] etc. (the woods chiefly beech and next in quantity oak) – at 8 20/.. close upon the Engour [Enguri] – then ascend again on higher ground always in the village of Dvjari  no houses to be seen – all hid – fine river running downwards amid lower green wooded rounded beautiful hills, and upwards amid higher such hills – beautiful valley at 8 55/.. at the large beautiful squares green of the village in the style of Zugdidi – with several picturesque goodish galleried sacles scattered around – alight at one of them (empty)) at 9 to breakfast – the white Krepost castle on wooded ridge of hill almost hid among the wood close over the river (left bank) – wrote so far till now 11 10/.. and R very nearly 21° - breakfast from 11 ¼ to 12 50/.. including a tolerably comfortable wash inside the sacle – off at 1 ¾ - at 2 50/.. out of our narrow lanes thro’ tall brackens in the bottom and I passed thro’ wood (beech and Spanish Chesnut and alder and walnut) and steepish, not good ascent and then fine view over rich extensive wooded plain and the old town of prince Āppăkīdzi at the village of Satchīnă close (left) – stop 5 minutes under enormous lime tree for the men to get water – off again from Satchina at 2 35/.. steepish bad descent down wood again from here – then up the hill and down and forded little stream and 2 or 3 more cottages at 3 ½ still the village of Satchina – and Indian corn 9 or 10ft. high – a village (Sapêlĭ) is a little district – at 3 35/.. ford good broadish stream, the Irīseērăh – and at 3 42/.. ford the Isleēăh an equally good stream – beautiful little green comby valleys among the rounded wooded hills, and here and there houses and fields on the lower hills – at 3 47/.. ford the isleēăh again – several more scattered cottages still the same village of Satchīnă old castle of Djĕgăli (princes Mantchar Dadiar) he lives at some other village castle deserted and empty? beautiful groups of valleys and rounded hills – Mingrelia very beautiful and fine race of men – e.g. our David and saw others whom we have seen – all our 3 men have left us to seek somebody or something – Adam came back in ½ hour – A- had had an egg beaten up, and I had the things off my horse and done up my mackintosh – David does not know the road – Get a man to go with us to the village – he now says it is 6 (instead of 3) hours from here to and 6 days from here to Muri – terrible – an hour lost here – off to the village Djkali at 6 5/.. and arrived at 6 ¾ - 2 sacles – arrange ourselves in the Indian corn barn (a little wicker place perhaps 4 ½ x 3 yards) – spread our burcas on straw and now

8 25/.. I have just [written] in it the last 19 lines – high hills north and within ridges of wooded hill rising every now and then into little wooded conical summits – the sides of the hill furrowed and little conical summits on the ridges of the sides – tea etc. now at 8 25/..  – 1 crooglee – lay down at 9 ½

[shysneeze]

missed smiles (draco malfoy x reader)

missed smiles (draco malfoy x fem!reader)

request: could you do a Draco imagine where the reader gets injured somehow (like falls down the stairs) after a fight (angst) and then he gets all protective (fluff)? tysm!

Warnings: kind hints towards depression but it’s minor.  half blood prince level draco angst because I'm in one of those moods mentions of war,  family pressures etc, fighting and injury. 

Authors note: I skimped so hard on the fluff this is basically just angst pls forgive me. 

..

The late November snow crunches aggressively underfoot as (Y/N) storms back towards the castle, Draco's footsteps echoing her own not far behind her as he calls after her. She lets out a harsh breath, not daring to look back in case her anger slips into something else and the tightness in her throat gives way to the sob she's been holding back.

"(Y/N), please." He pleads. "Let me explain."

She comes to a stop, breath shaking as it leaves her lips and forming wispy streams of condensation as it meets the cool air. She knows she needs to turn around, but she can't look at him right now, she can't look at him without seeing it again on his arm, the inky mark of the wizarding world's dark past and looming future.

It was revealed after what was a perfect date. She was so happy to see him smiling, that grin that was becoming so rare these days, she was sure it was the start of better things for this school year. Then she saw it, seeping through a wet patch on his shirt when he peeled off his coat to layer on top of her own due to the aftermath of an impromptu snowball fight. Ominous and taunting, the dark mark stared back at her.

Now, she finds herself turning slowly to face him, glad momentarily to find he's covered the incriminating tattoo, that she can't see it directly, with all its cruel implications. However, the knowledge of it has engraved itself in the centre of her thoughts, torturous and vile.

"How do you even begin to explain that, Draco?" She demands through gritted teeth. "How?"

He gulps under her harsh look despite knowing it's a quickly crumbling façade, watching her bottom lip tremble and her eyes well with reluctant tears. Words tumble out so quickly he's not even sure they make sense, a panicked onslaught of barely coherent apologies as he steps closer.

"No, Draco." She whimpers, stepping back. "No."

Her eyes clench shut and forces the escape of reluctant tears that she lifts her shaking hand to hide. The logical bit of her, the bit that tells her he doesn't want this, that knows him well enough to know his hand must have been forced in the matter, is hidden behind the bitterly betrayed part of her conscience.

"I can't do this right now." She exhales shakily.

His jaw slackens in defeat, explanations left hanging on the tip of his tongue while he watches her leave, ascending the steps to the castle. The weight of it all settles once again on his chest as it has all year, heavy on his lungs until he's forced to breathe manually under the pressure. He watches her go, convinced that's it, that his one perfect thing is gone for good.

His eyes cast downwards with shame and he's about to turn to walk away himself, to find somewhere to think everything through when he hears her yelp. He's too late in turning to help, instead staring wide-eyed and her crumbled figure at the bottom of the icy steps.

"(Y/N)!"

.

(Y/N) groans softly as she struggles to open her eyes, frown fixing itself on her face at the her unfamiliar surroundings. She doesn't register herself as being in the hospital wing until she hears the gentle tut of Madam Pomfrey from the foot of her bed.

"Miss (Y/L/N)." She greets. "Finally awake I see."

"Finally?"

Her voice is hoarse and quiet, forcing her to wonder just how long she's been out for. Madam Pomfrey gives her an understanding look and gives her a sympathetic smile. The older woman steps around her bed to (Y/N)'s side and gently pushes her into an upright position in order to manoeuvre the pillows in her aid.

"You had quite a tumble down the stairs, my dear." She informs. "Quite the concussion I'm afraid, so don't worry if it takes a moment to remember- I'm sure Mr Malfoy will be able to help once he wakes up too."

The nurse gesture with a slight smirk towards the head of blonde hair resting face down on the edge of the mattress, just by (Y/N)'s legs. The sight of him is enough to have the memories flooding back, heart aching at the memory.

"I'll be back to check on you in a few." Madam Pomfrey informs.

"Thanks." (Y/N) gulps.

Once the older woman is gone, footsteps placing her well in the distance, (Y/N) turns back to the sleeping boy by her side. He looks small here, curled by her side, so sweet it's hard to believe what he's hiding underneath his cool façade and long sleeves. She finds herself reaching a hand out tiredly for his hair, curling her fingers in it gently and watching him stir.

He wakes as groggily as she did, with the same confused frown. Then, eyes meeting hers, they widen and a sigh of sheer relief escapes his lips. He looks exhausted, with ashy grey circles hanging under his eyes, although she's sure they've been like that for months now.

"Thank goodness you're awake, (Y/N)." He exhales. "God, I was so worried."

"How long?"

"About a day." He informs. "You hit you're head really hard-"

"Not that." She corrects in a whisper. "How long have you had t-the mark?"

The light brought to his face from her recovery dies at the question, eyes dropping instantly. She almost feels bad, but she needs to know, she needs to understand this all before she can allow herself to look at him the same.

"The summer." He admits. "Just before the start of term."

She inhales loudly, sharply as she take it in. She pulls her hand back from where he'd clutched it in relief when he first woke. The betrayal bites bitterly at her heart and tugs her brows into a disbelieving frown.

"I know." He whispers.  

She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs aloud, causing him to shift guiltily. The logical part of her is back, reminding her that she knows him, knows this is not something he would do if given the option not to.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Her words throw him off and he stares at her in disbelief. Where he expects the furrowed brows of an angry glare, he finds her expression full of concern. His confusion over her reaction manifest itself as a frown.

"I'm a- a deatheater, (Y/N)."

His voice is hushed, cautious of the fact only the thin layer of the curtain around her bed shields them from the rest of the hospital wing, from listening ears. She lets out a sigh, clenching her eyes shut and shaking her head in response.

"No you're not." She sighs, an almost desperate edge to her voice, as if she's trying to convince herself. "You're not, Draco."

"I took the mark, (Y/N)." He corrects. "I'm sorry."

"There's no way you wanted this." She argues. "This has your father written all over it. I know this isn't you-"

"How do you always do that?"

She can see him trying to keep himself together, fists clenched so tightly they shake and his eyes brimming with tears he's begging to stay put. He lets out a sharp sigh, turning away from her to hide how his mask is crumbling, how he's so quickly beginning to come undone.

"What?"

"What do you see that no one else does?"

His voice cracks. Red rimmed eyes meet (Y/N)'s, so full of raw emotion that she finds herself letting out the smallest of sniffles as her fingers reach out for his closed fists, loosening them enough to grasp his hand in hers.

"I see my boyfriend frowning more than he smiles." She begins, voice trembling. "I see him losing all motivation for his hobbies, I see him sneaking off when he thinks I'm not looking and telling me he's fine when he's not."

She squeezes his hand, begging him to understand, to understand that she's worried, she so worried for him that it hurts. She worried when his smile didn't meet his eyes on the train, and when he asked to stay curled together in his dorm room the day of the first Hogsmeade trip when they would usually go to Honeydukes together. She’s worried all year.

"I was so relieved yesterday to see you smile." She continues. "I miss your smiles so much, Draco."

He lets out an inaudible apology, fixing his tear filled eyes on their joined hands, gasping under the pressure to keep himself together. It's like she's pulled out the last thread, the one that was keeping him in one piece and as if any sudden movement will rip him apart now.

"I know you're a good person." She concludes. "I know you don't want this."

"I don't." He admits through a raspy, quiet sob. "I don't want this but I had to- I had to for my family."

"Your dad?" She asks sadly.

"Father made a mistake, but it's H-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named who chose me, to amend my family's names in his eyes." He shakes his head. "It was the only decision that could be made."

"Draco..."

"You know what he did to Cedric Diggory." He explains. "I have to do this to keep us safe."

"You're just a kid, Draco." (Y/N) whimpers. "We're just kid and this isn't supposed to be our battle... I'm so sorry that it's ended up yours"

"Don't apologise to me." He pleads. "Don't., (Y/N)"

"Someone needs to, Draco." She argue. "This isn't fair on you."

Her voice finally cracks and tears rolls down her cheeks. She sighs in frustration when he looks up in concern. She's supposed to the pillar of support right now, hospital bed or not. The tears plough downward regardless though.

"Don't upset yourself." He begs.

"I'm angry, Draco!" She exclaims. "No at you- at this whole thing."

"(Y/N) please, you shouldn't stress yourself after the fall." He gulps. "You'll still have a concussion."

She's almost forgotten where they are, and why they're here in the first place. She lifts her free hand to the newly thumping pain in her head and grimaces. He shuffles closer, lifting a hand to tilt her head for inspection when she swats it away.

"No, I'm the patient so you have to listen to me."

She gives him a stubborn frown that has him sinking back like a scolded child to listen to her. She extends her bandaged arm out and pokes a finger against his chest sternly, his eyes widening at the serious look in her watery eyes.

"We're going to fix this." She states firmly. "We're going to fix this together and you and your family are going to be safe again."

"H-how?"

"I don't know but we will."

She drops her hand to find his once again, squeezing his fingers with a sigh. He stares at her in silence for so long she's worried he's angry, but then his lips twitch into the slightest of smiles and a breathless chuckles falls from his lips.

"Thought I was supposed to be looking after you." He explains softly.

"I only fell, Draco." She assures. "I'm fine."

"(Y/N), you have no idea how terrifying it was so see you on the ground like that." He shakes his head. "Not moving, not waking up, and all I could think was I drove you away and you hurt yourself."

"Draco..." She sighs. "I was surprised, I didn't know what to do when I saw that thing on your arm and  ran when I shouldn't have."

"This isn't your fault."

"It isn't yours either."

He lets out another laugh behind a poorly disguised sob, shaking his head again in surprise, perplexed again by her reactions. Always seeing the good in him, even when everyone is convinced it's not, when he himself has lost hold of it.

"I love you." He exhales.

"I love you too." She smiles sadly. "We're going to work this out, I promise."

He lift's the linked hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles gently. He believes her, something in his heart clinging to the assurance in her voice and the hope in her eyes. She's pulled that last thread, allowed him to fall apart at the seams in order to sew him back together again, gently and patiently, starting with the first stitch.

"I'm going to see that smile again."

.

Authors notes: like to think madam pomfrey is just sat outside the curtains like  👁👄👁 

[beautifulterriblequeen]

The Thief and the Tinker, Part 4: Circles and Cycles

part 3

Part 4

Viren: *smirks and plinks Runaan's coin to Ethari*

Ethari, furious: You throw another Moonshadow at me and I'm gonna lose it.

Circles and Cycles

Angst rating: 8/10

Back to Ethari, because we're not done with him yet. Ethari is soft, but he isn't weak. He won't be a willing pawn for Viren. He loves Runaan to the point of invention, and his devotion is more constant than the moon itself. He'll agree to do what Viren says, and he'll be Very Sad. But his spirit is in no way broken. Viren bribing him with the coins containing his family will only have the opposite effect. It'll give Ethari something to fight for.

We could get Focused Chaos Ethari. We could get Angery Trickster Ethari. We could get Rules, What Rules? Ethari. Let him try to steal the coins, try to break them, try to kill Viren, and be stymied at every turn, until he settles and seems cowed. And then all he does is craft his way out of the problem.

What if we are gifted with Iron Man Elf Ethari, who pretends to build a fake Key for Viren, but meanwhile he's really building a coinbuster with whatever he can get his hands on - primal stones, magically imbued gemstones, stolen artifacts, his own arcanum, his own reputation as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove. He'll use almost - almost - anything, to stop Viren and free his family.

Ethari may have to choose between those two things, though. And he's a hero, deep down, just like his family, just like his daughter. If he has to choose, he'll choose to stop Viren and save Xadia. He'll pay the same price as his family has if he must.

He'd let Viren think he was motivated purely by wanting his family back, but Ethari is far too steeped in the illusion and sacrifice for that to be all there is to his motives. It's a so-close-and-yet-so-far thing, how he and Viren almost embody the same ideals. Almost. Ethari would take one look at Viren, who just burnt down his whole Forest, he'd see the biggest threat in Xadia, and he'd say anything to get a chance to stop this juggernaut of destruction from getting his hands on whatever that ultimate power really is, locked behind that missing key. If he has to abandon his people and bawl his eyes out to convince Viren he's in, then he will.

And Viren wouldn't make it easy for him. He knows clever when he sees it. He went through all this trouble to persuade Ethari to work with him. He would need to keep Ethari as off-balance as possible to ensure that he keeps working as he should.

Angsty jewelry, anyone?

Viren giving Ethari his husband in pendant form to remind him what he's working for, when Viren and Ethari both know full well that only dark magic can open the hellcoins. Ethari wearing another pendant of his love, except it's not a metaphor this time. It's literally his love, in a coin around his neck.

Viren would love making Ethari stay close to him of his own free will if he ever hoped to free Runaan. Making people bind themselves to you is a big power flex. Remember that TDP stream future-season teaser note about Bait being in a creepy restraint in a future season?

This card is written on in all-caps, so that really could be "Bait" or "bait," or--knowing this show--both. Viren's been using Runaan as bait for Ethari all along. Putting his coin in a dark magic pendant casing for Ethari to wear would be a great parallel for that. Oh god. Oh man.

Maybe he'll stab the coin's scary casing right through that circle on Ethari's chest, right over his heart, make that Iron Man reference really obvious. Ethari also losing his shirt at some point, for angsty Viren-related reasons? It's more likely than you think. I mean... Ethari is literally involved in both forms of forging at this point. Shirt's gotta come off for uhhhh work reasons. And because he's hot. Because of all the forging. Mmhmm. I mean how else are we finally going to discover what his markings look like this is research I swear

I mentioned that I liked god-tier villains, right? Yeah, this is amazing. I haven't wanted to die and ascend over an idea for quite a while, but Ethari vs Viren in a drawn-out battle of wills would kill me in the best way. Especially since, while it looks like they're essentially fighting for who gets Runaan, they're truly fighting a much larger battle with much higher stakes. They're fighting for the future itself. It's an epic struggle between the Narrative of Strength and the Narrative of Love. And we've seen what happens, over and over, when the Narrative of Strength gets to call the shots.

On a meta note: If Ruthari's story arc isn't a love letter from one trauma survivor to another, and on a broader scope to all survivors who see it, I don't know what is. Sometimes life just chews us up and spits us out and we can't stop it and it breaks us. But sometimes we can reach out and grasp the chance to help each other, even after that, even when it hurts a lot, because we know what it means to be loved, and to love, and to want a safer future for each other and for people we'll never meet. The future is worth standing together for, helping each other back up for, fighting side by side for, even if you can't see how it'll end, or even how to begin. We are stronger together, and sometimes we need to fight for our "together" before we can fight for anything else. And that's worth it, every time.

This is glorious, it's beautiful, it's tragic, it's amazing, it makes me want to dance, it makes me want to scream into the void, it makes me want to slap someone with a semi truck. No, someone specific, don't worry, and he super deserves it.

Because Ethari is going to win. He was always going to win. He's soft, and he's clever, and he hasn't forgotten what love means. It's what he's fighting for. Not power, not control. Love. He doesn't want to dictate Runaan's future or anyone else's. He just wants his husband--and everyone else--to have one at all.

So he's going to win.

What thwarting Viren looks like, I couldn't possibly guess. TDP is no stranger to angst, so there will probably be a high cost involved in outwitting the dark mage. Maybe not everyone can be rescued from the coins. Maybe Ethari will lose his life, or his soul, or his vision, or something else really angsty. Viren could even kill him and resurrect him as a smoky craftsman, or a zombie craftsman, or something equally biddable but horrible. The only thing I'm sure of is that Ethari would never willingly make a working Key of Aaravos Ethari as long as there's a chance Viren could possess it. But I do believe that if he gets the right opportunity while he's busy saving the world from Viren's dark intentions, he'll break his husband's hellcoin open somehow and set him free, even if he has to smile at the devil to do it.

Ethari understands the difference between "you can" and "therefore you should." He might sacrifice his own world to save his husband, but he'd never sacrifice someone else's world. That's one of the Moonshadow cultural limits I've noticed: they accept boundaries when it comes to other people's autonomous rights, especially regarding life and death.

These limits could get pushed. Ethari will be under great duress and emotional strain if he goes through this kind of interaction with Viren. And maybe he will choose some dark things. Everyone else has. But I'm placing all my eggs in the basket labeled "Saved By Love." Either I'm right, or I'll get the best angst omelets in the universe. And I do love omelets. A villain invented them, you know. ;)

Another support for Ethari not making the key for Viren: the real Key exists!

Callum has it right now. The plot doesn't need Ethari's key (yet? ever?), but it does need Ethari to learn what he's made of, to stand up for something, or against something, or both at once. And once he learns what he will and won't do and the universe has rewarded his discovery with the return of his beloved husband then Ethari will be ready to take on whatever else the plot has in mind for him.

Depending on the plan, all of these events could happen in S4, as a setup for even bigger things to follow. Viren's wishes can be thwarted here and the show's overall tension will only continue to rise. It would let Ethari flex yes pls his skills so we know who he is, it would show how driven Viren can be for a long-term goal, it would let Claudia saunter further downwards, it would reveal some human/Moonshadow history, and it would resolve the seasons-long tension regarding Runaan's fate, allowing for the cycle of speculation, feels, angst, and Ruthari fanart to begin again. ;) Viren would need to find another way to pursue his long-term goal. And Callum's Key will get a little more clarity on just how important it is to the fate of the world - which will make everything he does, and everyone he talks to, and anyone who knows what he's carrying, intensely important.

Nyx is gonna steal it isn't she, omg chaos birb

To Viren, Ethari was a main course, meant to be devoured and consumed in his lifelong quest for something that will finally satisfy. But to Ethari, Viren was just empty calories to be passed over in favor of ordering his perennial favorite dish, one more time.

Once Ethari escapes Viren's clutches with as much of his family as he can rescue, Viren may turn back to looking for the real Key, especially if someone's seen it recently. Hunting a kid probably seems easier than hunting a full-grown Moonshadow craftsman who just outsmarted him. okay so maybe Nyx stealing it would be a good thing and save Callum's life

Ethari could go on to help repair the Sunforge, or rebuild the Moonhenge, or work on constructing Moonshadow villages in Katolis if he hasn't been ghosted for abandoning everyone after the forest fire. He might build magical devices for any number of reasons, to help all kinds of characters. Hopefully, wherever he goes, he'll have Runaan with him, in some way, for at least a little while. Cycles be like, and I feel like Runaan will not want to remain still for long, for whatever reason. Does he need revenge, atonement, justice, a new body, to find Rayla, to find Ezran? He'll be back in action as soon as he can, I think.

Okay, but, I'm so soft at the thought of a scene where Runaan and Ethari come before King Ezran. The husbands tried to save their people Runaan's way, the old way, and it only continued to endanger them. Following the cycle, as Moonshadows do, was the wrong move. But the son of the last human Runaan killed reached out with mercy and broke a thousand years of suffering and sorrow and hatred. Ezran did what Runaan couldn't: he saved the Moonshadow elves from total destruction. And that, more than anything else in the world, could soften one very broody assassin's heart toward humans again.

What would Runaan do, if his heart truly changed toward humans? What would he say to Ezran? I could see him struggling for a long moment before dropping to one knee to pledge his heart as he once had to do before the Dragon Throne. He doesn't know any other way but to serve. Ezran, reading the whole room and everyone's feelings before he tells Runaan that No, we don't do that here. That he's free, and free means free. No chains, no oaths. Just trust and friendship. He should get to make his own decisions for a change, even though that can be hard and scary sometimes. Runaan being genuinely scared, because that's too much freedom. But he's not alone. He has Ethari, and Ezran, and Rayla, and Callum, and their people, and their allies. And no matter what else happens, the people of Katolis - elven and human - will find a way forward. Together.

part 5

[missdawnandherdusk]

Fairytales

Hufflepuff!Reader x Draco

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life

Chapter One     Chapter Two    Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Summary: Is Umbridge the worst thing you have to face? Is there a silver lining or something much darker lurking underneath? 

A/n: Y’all are going to love me, then hate me. I’m serious. You guys love my fluff writing, but for those who have been with me for a while know I’m the goddess of angst writing. But it’s also +15k words so... Also this gets slightly PG-13 but nothing too risque. So, there’s that. Let me know what you think! I love seeing all the messages/comments from you guys!

Draco quickly found you in the halls, your silvery cloak setting you apart from the masses of black. If his aunt Bellatrix was out from Azkaban, so were a lot of other Death Eaters and he had gone about frantic the past few days not knowing if you were alright.

Paranoia wouldn’t leave him alone. Someone had to know what you meant to him. Maybe his father found out. Maybe someone told from the school. Maybe his aunt had seen you that day on winter holiday. There were too many variables.

But you were there smiling beside your friends waving at him. He pulled you into a quick hug and quickly slung his arm around your shoulders, his eyes darting around the halls as if he were expecting a Death Eater to jump out and take you away.

“Draco,” You chided softly. “I can hear you worrying,” There was a soft smile on your lips.

“Ten Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban,” He hissed into your ear and watched the color drain from your face.

You were quiet a moment, then you nodded.

“We knew this was coming,” You sighed softly. “Here it starts”

He huffed, not enjoying that he knew you were right. Up until recently he had been waiting for this moment, this rise to power. But things changed. You changed him. In his paranoia he had looked into your family history and felt comforted that you were a pureblood, but he knew that Abby was a half-blood, and a few of your—his—friends were mudb—muggle born.

Now a war was brewing, and he didn’t know where to stand. He promised he’d keep you safe, and he would. But he also knew that you would stand for what was right, what was fair. It wasn’t fair to condemn muggle borns. They were people too. It had come to a point that he had a respect for a few muggles as well—the author of your books to begin, and then you showed him muggle music and he loved that too (even if he wouldn’t admit that to you).

You remained quiet and thoughtful throughout the first week back. Sometimes he thought he’d see something in your eyes that held doubt or fear, but your smile would return, and you’d lay your head on his shoulder and it would all be a distant memory.

Despite the war lingering in the backs of everyone’s minds, O.W.L.s were still approaching for the both of you. And with Umbridge’s regime tightening by the day it left Draco practically desperate for a quiet moment with you that didn’t involve studying or hiding from an annoying shade of pink. He hated the color.

So, you started to join him for Quidditch practice. As far as he knew D.A. was still going on, which meant you would be alone without Abby for the night, and though both he and Abby suggested you go back, you shook your head and the subject dropped.

He’d watch your figure in the stands—most time nose in a book— as he trained and ran drills. Your proximity comforted him. The small waves and bright smiles you offered were enough to keep him going.

Until you didn’t show one night to his practice and Ernie nearly ran to him afterwards, out of breath.

“You need to come, quickly,” He panted out.

He dropped everything, stripping his quidditch gear and tossing his broom to the wayside and ran after your fellow house prefect, wand in hand, ready for anything and everything.

His heart broke when he found you crying in Prefect’s bathroom alone. You were curled up under a stained-glass window, sobbing into your arms. Ernie slipped from the room and Draco locked the door behind him. Panting, he made his way to you carefully, as not to slip and fall.

“Darling?” He called softly.

Your head raised, tears streaming down your cheeks. You buried your head back into your arms and started to cry harder, curling up tighter.

“What happened?” His voice was gentle as he came to sit beside you.

“She... she said... I was lying about my father...” You sniffled out the words. “That he wasn’t killed by a Death Eater... and I... I just wanted the attention...”

Draco’s heart froze, thinking about the secret that your mother had shared with him. The truth was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t tell you, not now.

“Who?” He demanded, “Who said you were lying?” He spat the words, fury boiling in his stomach.

“Umbridge,” You squeaked. “She made me... I got detention... It hurt so bad...” You uncurled your left hand from where it gripped at your sweater and he could see angry red gashes into your skin: I must not tell lies was written in your handwriting.

“She did this!?” Draco took your hand, becoming more careful when you hissed in pain.

Draco had to forcibly calm himself before he went and did something stupid. Really stupid. Justified. But stupid.

“She... she has this quill... made me do lines and it appeared...” You cried into his arms as he held you close.

You backed away slightly and wrinkled your nose, your tears all but forgotten, “Quidditch?” The word held a soft smile.

He rolled his eyes and stripped his shirt throwing it to the side. Wiping away your tears he stood, turning the faucets for the master roman styled bath and gestured for you to pick a sweet- smelling soap. You reached out turning the green faucet handle and the blue one, making the water a soft turquoise.

_______________________________

I watched as Draco stripped to his underwear and stepped into the soapy water. I couldn’t stop myself from following the tone of his back and the creamy white skin that stretched tight over lean muscles. He dipped under, the turned back to me.

“Are you coming?” There was an amused smirk on his face.

“We’re going to get in trouble.” I argued weakly.

“From who? The door is locked, and we’re both prefects,” He pointed out. “Scared Y/l/n?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, striping as I had in the summer when we swam and entered the silky water and into his arms. The warm water welcomed my skin and the pain on my hand. The winter chill faded from my bones. I loosely hung my arms around Draco’s neck. Butterflies fluttered in my chest. The detention was all but forgotten.

“Have I ever told you you’re beautiful?” His lips were just below my ear, pressing the words softly to my skin. “Because if I haven’t, I’ve been doing it all wrong,”

A warm smile reached my lips. My eyes slipped closed as I curled my fingers in his hair. His hands supported the backs of my legs as they curled around his waist. His lips trailed down my neck, making me shudder involuntarily. I felt his smug smile against my skin.

I bit my lip before three words slipped out that I wouldn’t say but desperately yearned to.

My eyes fluttering open, I nudged him, drawing his lips to mine in a soft, gentle kiss. His hot breath mixed with mine in a familiar comfort. His hand dipped from the water, curling into my hair, leaving warm water drops trailing down my neck and shoulders. A soft sound escaped at the sensation. He hummed in response. The kiss stayed slow and lazy. All of my cells relaxed and reached a tranquil state that I never knew was possible.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against his, breathing softly, my eyes closed. Again, I stopped myself from uttering those three words.

I felt him nod as if he knew what I wanted to say and acknowledged it. But maybe it was just my imagination.

He set me on one of the bath outcrops, ascending from the water and grabbing two warm towels that were rolled on a rack next to the bath. I watched him, memorizing every part of him that I could. Towel in hand, I rose from the water and I could feel his eyes doing the same.

“Get changed, and wrap your hand the best you can,” He ordered softly. “Meet me outside your portrait.” His fingertips brushed down my arm, making me shiver again.

In a sweater and fuzzy socks, Draco met me in the halls, a soft smile in his lips. Being careful about my hand Draco led me down the hall toward Snape’s office. I didn’t quite know why though.

Pausing at the door, Draco tried it, but it was locked. He knocked, huffing irritated. 

“Professor?” He called; I could hear the frustration in his voice.

My hand reached out and slipped around his waist, a calming effort. The door unlocked and opened, and instead of meeting Snape, green eyes and wild black hair met us.

“Potter,” Draco spat.

“Malfoy,”

“Oh, can we not do this now?” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

Draco gritted his teeth and pushed past Harry, pulling me in with him where he paused, Snape at his desk.

“Mr. Malfoy, Miss Y/l/n, what do I owe the pleasure?” Snape greeted politely, a smile not touching his face.

“She needs Essence of Murtlap. Or if you’ve got any of my vials left...” Draco spoke softly and lowly.

“Murtlap,” I clarified. “I don’t want to take his,”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Draco scoffed, his blue eyes piercing mine. “It’s fine,”

“Murtlap,” Harry muttered softly; I had forgotten that he was there. “Umbridge?”

I turned, my eyes meeting green ones. I felt Draco’s grip on me tighten but I paid him no mind.

“Yes,” I confessed softly, my eyebrows pulling together.

Harry presented his hand where fading still were the scars reading the same words that mine did. I pulled from Draco’s grasp and went to look at Harry’s hand, slowly unravelling the bandage from mine. Other than the differences in our handwriting, it was the same sort of magic that pierced our skin.

Draco touched my shoulder softly, a vial in his hand that I had seen once before. A time when I had to take it because of the boy with the same scars as mine in front of me.

I started to argue with Draco about not using his potion, adamant about not giving away why he needed it in front of Harry, which left me having to give in and take the Healing potion. I watched as my hand stitched itself back together, leaving nothing but pink skin in its wake. Draco pressed a soft kiss to my hand, not caring that Harry was watching us keenly.

“Y/n,” Harry started, but paused when Draco tucked me behind him.

“Yes?” I prompted him to continue, taking a step in front of Draco, giving him a look.

“I’m sorry,” Harry rushed out. “For... what happened at the match, and... everything else,”

“Mr. Potter, please apologize on your own time,” Snape sneered. “We have work to do,”

“It’s okay,” You whispered, looking down and moving into Draco’s arms, “Just remember who the real enemy is.”

I grabbed Draco’s and pulled him out of Snape’s office and into the hall. He was sulking and no doubt wanted to go back in there and give Potter a piece of his mind, but my gentle look stopped whatever he was thinking.

“That goes for you too.” I chided softly. “Remember who the real enemy is,” 

With an eye roll, a smile touched his lips and I knew the storm had passed.

“Thank you,” I reached up and pressed my lips softly to his. “You didn’t have to give up your Healing potion for me,”

“No one hurts you,” He narrowed his eyes, pressing another kiss to the back on my healed hand that was back to normal.

Merlin, he was protective, I thought, but stars if it wasn’t the most attractive thing.

 ______________________________________

Draco loathed the fact that it wasn’t the last time you came to him with the angry red words on the back of your hand. He thought about writing to his father about the matter then chuckled darkly at the thought: Father, Umbridge is calling Y/n Y/l/n a liar and physically punishing her because Umbridge doesn’t believe that a Death Eater killed Y/n’s father, could you please clarify the situation.

You looked at him, your eyebrows raised asking what had made him laugh in the middle of study hall. He just shook his head and pulled you into his lap, not caring about the stares it got him. You weren’t complaining.

With February moving into Hogwarts, the weather became warmer and rain replaced the snow. Draco watched you squint up at the rain one day like it offended you personally.

“Hard to fly in the rain,” You spoke softly, taking his hand. “Throws my senses off.”

He slipped his hand into yours and pulled you inside the castle, where you seemed more at ease. As it rained, you tended to stay inside more. The weather really seemed to affect you, or perhaps Pinnae and in turn you. Your wardrobe turned into darker muted colors. Draco wasn’t sure if you were doing it purposely or not. Your sweaters were traded for the same t-shirts you had worn over the summer but paired with school sanctioned skirts and pants rather than cutoffs that he found himself missing. Your robes still draped over your shoulders, so he couldn’t complain too much about the lingering chill in the air.

“So, Valentine’s day,” Abby asked pointedly one night at dinner as you all took your seats at the Hufflepuff table.

“What about it?” You asked.

“There’s a Hogsmeade trip,” Pansy finished Abby’s train of thought.

Of course, Draco knew that. He had been trying for days, if not a week, to figure out what to do for you on Valentine’s Day. Most of what he thought of was stupid and muggle, and he didn’t know if he wanted to stoop that low, but he didn’t want to show up empty handed. Then there was the pressing matter of your birthday that was a couple weeks after the fourteenth.

“Well, we were thinking about having a double date,” Abby looked deliberately at him.

Oh, he was so in Abby’s debt for thinking of this. A smile touched his lips at he gave an amused smirk to you.

“Would you care to accompany me?” He murmured softly in your ear, watching you face flush.

“Okay,” You stammered, suddenly very interested in your half-eaten dinner, your lips darting between your lips distractingly.

Later in his room that night as you read him The Phantom of the Opera, he asked how you really felt about the idea of Valentine’s Day. Before he always scoffed and rolled his eyes at it, thinking it was ridiculous, but he knew that you had a bit more of a romantic heart than he did.

“I mean,” You started, putting down the book. “If you wouldn’t buy me, I don’t know, flowers or chocolates or whatever on any other day, why should I make you do it then?”

“Do you want me to buy you flowers on a regular basis?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No,” You laughed. “I mean if you really want to, but...” You shrugged. “I don’t want you to do it because I think you should, or because it’s what society says... but because you want to, if you want to...”

“Well, you’re going to have to give me some sort of idea here sweetheart,” He chuckled, “It’s not like I’ve done this before,” The confession made his heart flutter because it was true: he normally had the answer to everything and knew exactly how to act, but this? He had nothing.

“Oh, come on, Dray,” You rolled your eyes moving to straddle his lap. “You know what I like more than anyone else. Well, maybe not Abby, but it’s a close call,” You giggled pressing a kiss to his nose.

His hands went to your waist and snuck up under your oversized band t-shirt. You scrunched your nose playfully and sat back.

“If you want to buy me flowers and chocolate and ridiculously expensive things, pretty rich boy, then I won’t stop you,”

“Maybe I will,” He drawled, propping up on his arms. “Pretty boy, huh?” He grinned.

You rolled your eyes and pushed his chest playfully so that he fell back laughing. You dissolved into giggles on top of him. His hands slid up the soft skin of your back, the warmth singing under his fingertips. You head laid on his chest, your fingertips tracing random lines on his arm and shoulder.

He had a week until Valentine’s Day, but you were right: if he wasn’t going to get you flowers on a normal day, why would he on a specific day?

So, with some help from Pansy, who was better at Charms than him—only slightly—he sent you notes every day, enchanting them to turn into flowers when they reached your hands. He did it in the classes that you didn’t have together, knowing it would make you blush deeper as the other students watched you. He felt an extra layer of satisfaction when he knew that Harry was also accompanying you in class when he sent you flowers—not that he’d ever admit that.

It was Wednesday when he got a note back—folded in the shape of an owl. When he opened it, it was a drawing of his profile and the flowers that he had sent that day framing his face.

I quite liked the sunflowers today,

He smiled at the note, not particularly paying attention to Snape as he droned on about Bellum Amoris.

The rest of the week passed, and a soft kiss ended his Friday night before the Hogsmeade outing tomorrow with you—their date. He was excited to take you out properly. But it was because he wanted to, just to see you smile and call him ridiculous and watched everyone else get jealous. Because you deserved the world, and he was going to do everything to give it to you.

Pansy burst into his room early Saturday morning, looking unkept and frantic. 

“Draco... Y/n is in trouble.” Was all she panted out.

Draco dropped everything and followed her down the stairs, through the common room and down the halls, both running towards the hospital wing.

“What happened!?” He demanded, rounding a corner.

“We’re not sure, but she didn’t wake up this morning, no matter what we tried. Abby just got her down here.” Pansy explained, panting.

“Where is she!?” He snarled, his eyes scanning the rows of white linen beds. 

“Draco!” Abby called, drawing his attention. “Please, she needs you,”

He saw you laying on a hospital bed, eyes closed as if you were asleep, but something was off. Madam Pomfrey was dabbing your forehead with a damp cloth. You looked sickly.

“What happened?” Draco demanded, taking your hands and clutching it in his.

Your hands were ice cold. Your eyelashes didn’t flutter open. Your lips didn’t smile.

“She was cursed, and we can’t undo it.” Abby whispered, your other hand in hers.

“What do you mean you can’t undo it!?” He roared. “Fix her!” He glared Madam Pomfrey down. “Get Snape! Get Dumbledore! I don’t care. Just fix her!”

“Mr. Malfoy!” The nurse scolded. “I have kept her alive this long! But I cannot undo what has been done. I fear you are the only one who can.”

“What?” He backtracked. “What do you mean me?”

“The curse,” Abby’s voice was so broken, Pansy was now behind her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. “It was Bellum Amoris. It doesn’t have an antidote... But... well we think that...”

“What!?” Draco demanded. “Tell me!”

“You need to kiss her. It should break the curse.” Madam Pomfrey finished.

“Are you bloody joking me!? This isn’t some fairy tale! This is her life on the line!”

“I know that!” Abby stood. “And I don’t want to lose her either! Now will you shut up and listen to me! You need to break the curse fast or she is going to die!” Her face was red with anger and Draco had to admit that he was impressed at her defense of you.

“But me?” He whispered. “Why me?” He looked down at your colorless face and the shallow breaths that seemed to lull with each moment.

“True loves kiss,” She stared as if it were obvious. “Bellum Amoris is a love-based poison...”

“But... she doesn’t love me. I’m... me.”

“Oh, the two of you!” Abby groaned. “Of course, she loves you! Why else would I put up with you if she didn’t? She sees who you are Draco. And though I will never truly understand it, she loves you. Don’t you love her too?”

He paused. He wanted to say of course he loved her but... did he know what love was? 

“Yes,” was all he could muster. “Please just... give us a minute,”

“She doesn’t have much time,” Abby whispered, taking Pansy’s hand and the two of them left him alone with you.

Draco reached out and stroked your cheek, tears in his eyes. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, his thoughts spiraling. He remembered meeting you, and how sweet it was. It seemed like things were meant to be... but was it true? Did you love him? Did was his love strong enough for this to work?

“Oh, why did you have to go and do this?” He whispered through tears. “It was to spite me wasn’t it? To prove that I could love and be loved?”

You didn’t answer but he desperately wanted you too. He wanted to see your smile again. You were just so good, and he wasn’t worth much with morality. His heart raced, wanting to believe that this would work, but if it didn’t? Nothing would tear him apart more if this was just a fluke.

Could he be your Romeo? Your Wesley? Your Raoul?

“Come back to me,” he murmured and pressed his lips to yours.

Pulling away, nothing happened. His heart plummeted to the depths of Tartarus. It wasn’t true love then. He wasn’t enough. It was just a mistake. He was unlovable.

He sat at the edge of your bed and hung his head, muffled cries escaping his lips. They were always right. He couldn’t be loved. He was nothing more than a carbon copy of his father. A Slytherin. A villain.

“Draco?”

He froze turning to you, meeting your warm eyes once more.

“Why... why are you crying?” You sounded so concerned.

And he knew, of course you loved him and how had he ever not loved you?

Scooping you up, he pressed his lips to yours forcefully and kissed you like he meant it. He kissed you like everyone doubted him. He kissed you like the way you loved him. He kissed you like the way he loved you.

Your hands were gentle as they curled into his hair and pulled him closer.

“I love you,” he murmured, pulling away. “Merlin, I love you Y/n,”

“I love you too Draco,” you gasped and pulled him into a tight hug. “I’ve loved you for so long,”

He gripped at your, his fingers curling into your shirt as he buried his face in your shoulder inhaling deeply.

He was loved. You loved him.

_______________________________

“What happened?” I asked meekly. “I... I don’t remember...”

“Someone slipped Bellum Amoris into your drink,” He gritted out, cupping my face, searching for something that I wasn’t aware of, but it seemed to calm him.

“Bellum Amoris? But who would... why would anyone?” My eyebrows furrowed. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” He assured me quickly, drawing my into his arms. “You didn’t do anything,”

“Wait, the antidote for Bellum Amoris is...” I blinked, looking up at him, a smile growing on my face.

He grumbled and pouted slightly.

“Oh, my stars,” I breathed out. “You... you really do love me,”

“Of course, I love you,” He snapped. “What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“That you’re healing,” I rubbed his shoulder softly. “I never thought that I would be the one...”

“How could you not be the one?” He gave me a gentle look. “Do you think I’d skip Quidditch practice for just anyone?” There was an amused smirk on his face that had me laughing.

“I love you,” I said again, just because I could and pressed my lips to his. “I love you Draco Malfoy,” It was euphoric, finally letting the words fly free. Giggled tumbled from my lips.

“Y/n?” Another voice rose.

“Abby?” My eyes snapped up as Abby and Pansy came back in, the former looked like she had been crying.

“Merlin, Y/n don’t do that to me!” She shouted, pulling me in for a hug. “What were you thinking!?”

“She didn’t do it, babe,” Pansy chided. “Glad to see you’re awake Feathers,” She offered me a smile.

“Only I get to call her that,” Draco snapped.

“Okay,” I drawled. “Let’s all just take a deep breath. I’m fine. No one is to blame. Everything’s okay,” I tried to pacify the air around us.

“You were just poisoned!” Abby retorted, mixing with Draco’s same declaration.

“Okay, yes, but I don’t want to worry about that right now,” I breathed out. “It’s the weekend, I have my best friends with me, I just want to go to Hogsmeade, and have a ridiculously overly done Valentine’s Day,”

“I think we can manage that,” Pansy grinned. “Draco you’re gonna have to let her go,” 

“She’s not going anywhere yet,” Madam Pomfrey strode over. “Until I give her clearance,”

Abby and Pansy backed away, Draco just moved over, not letting go of my hand as Pomfrey checked my pulse, reflexes, and asked a few questions as to how I was feeling.

“I love you,” I whispered into Draco’s shoulder as he hugged me one last time before we parted ways to get ready for Hogsmeade and Valentine’s Day.

“Oh, my Merlin he loves you!” Abby squealed as we flitted around our room getting ready. “Like, true love! Y/n!”

“I know,” I grinned and sighed, hugging a pillow.

“You lucky son of a bitch,” She laughed, and I knew she had been spending a lot of time with Pansy as the curse rolled off her tongue almost naturally—a habit Pansy also had. “All those stupid fairytales and you found your own, I should have known,”

“Do you think the dress is too much?” I asked off hand, running my hand over the dark magenta fabric of the simple dress. “Maybe I should just wear jeans,”

“Y/n, he bloody loves you, wear the dress,”

Well that was a good a way as any to shut up my anxiety. And maybe when I threw a cardigan over it and paired it with boots, it wasn’t so dressed up. It was casual. Like I wasn’t trying to hard.

Draco and Pansy met us at the portrait, and we headed down to the small village that sat at the bottom of the valley with our small group of friends. We passed Harry and Cho walking together on the way down. Cho waved at me and I waved back. Draco didn’t shout anything at Harry, so I counted that as a win.

“At least Cedric was better looking,” Blaise muttered. “Don’t know why she’s with Potter,”

I fumbled in step and Draco caught me before I could fall. I had forgotten that Cho and Cedric had been together. I thought I had gotten over Cedric’s death too, well, as much as I could at the current moment. Guess I was wrong.

“Bugger off mate,” Draco snapped. “How stupid can you be?” He draped his arm around me and pulled me away from the group a bit, sitting me on the wall of the bridge. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Just caught me off guard,” I explained. “I’m... I’m okay.” I nodded again, taking his hands. “I have you,”

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You look lovely, if I haven’t mentioned,” 

“I don’t think you have,” I smiled, knowing what he was doing, and I let him.

Abby and Pansy lingered behind from the rest of the group and we rejoined with them, walking along. Pansy hissed and Abby stiffened upon entering the village.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come,” Abby muttered, seeing the faces of the escaped Death Eaters staring us down.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that all of the Bellatrix photos were glaring me down, hurling silent accusations. It made me huddle closer to Draco.

“No,” Draco decided. “We deserve a day out.”

His confidence surprised me more than it should have. I had never seen him so... carefree? So bold that he deserved something good? It was like the Draco I saw when we were alone was finally shining through. It made me smile and agree with his words. We did deserve this.

Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop was filled with other couples today, just like us. I caught sight of Harry and Cho again and did my best effort to smile at them. Rodger Davies and Hannah were here too. They waved.

Taking a pair of tables in the corner of the small shop, I shrugged off my cardigan, not needing it in the warm atmosphere.

“I’ve never actually been in here,” I thought aloud. “It’s cute,”

“Bit frilly for my taste,” Abby muttered. “If one of those cherubs throws confetti on me, I’m hexing them,”

“That’s my girl,” Pansy grinned.

Draco was quiet beside me and I knew he was lost in thought. My mind ran through a list of things that he could be thinking about—the Death Eaters, Harry and Cho, Cedric, the frills of the shop, what to order, the fact that not hours ago we professed our love to another.

“Love?” I called softly, pulling him back to the present.

He hummed an acknowledgement, his blue eyes almost silver as they met mine. I nestled closer to his shoulder, resting my head on his shoulder. His arm circled around my waist, his other hand thrumming a beat on the table with his fingers.

“They look a bit awkward, don’t they?” Abby muttered, nodding to Harry and Cho.

“Give him a break,” I chided back. “Poor kid’s been through enough,”

“Just saying,” Abby shrugged.

“If he’s going to take a girl out, at least he should do it right,” Draco chimed in. “Bloke’s got no idea what’s going on,”

“Oh look, now she’s crying,” Pansy snickered.

I huffed and stood.

“Are you going to help me or not?” I snapped at Draco, gesturing to Harry and Cho.

“What do you want me to do?” He shot back. “Harry and I aren’t exactly simpatico at the moment,”

I opened my mouth to say something, but he had a point. Sighing, I kissed him quickly and raced after Cho who was heading out into the rain. I casted a quick shielding charm and ran over to her, calling her name.

“What do you want?” She asked, miserable.

“To know if you’re okay,” I held my wand between us so that the makeshift umbrella was over the both of us.

“No, I’m not,” She sniffed. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Harry is...”

“He’s not the brightest no,” I admitted. “But Cho, he’s a guy. It’s what guys do. They’re all stupid and hopeless,”

“Cedric wasn’t,” She whimpered.

I bit my lip and nodded.

“No, he was great, wasn’t he?” I whispered out, fighting back tears.

“At least you have Draco now,” She wiped away her tears. “It’s nice to see him with you. Makes this whole D.A. thing kinda worth it. That maybe there is hope after all. I wish you’d come back,”

“Thanks Cho,” I placed my hand on her shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly. “And... if you ever wanna talk about Cedric, I’m here,”

“You’re the best of us, Y/n,” Cho hugged me, and I almost dropped the shielding charm. 

“Do you want to join us?” I offered.

“No, you go have fun on your double date, I think I’m gonna head back and get some homework done while I can. We have Snape’s essay due Monday and I haven’t started it.” She drew her wand and cast her own shielding charm. “Thanks Y/n,”

“Anytime,” I waved, watching her walk towards the school.

Back in the small shop, I made my way back to Draco. Harry was gone. I sighed and shrugged mentally, letting myself enjoy Draco’s company.

“Always the Hufflepuff,” He teased.

“Better than Slytherin,” I drawled.

Rolling his eyes, he pressed a kiss to my temple. 

“You two are something else,” Pansy muttered. 

“Yeah,” I sighed contented.

The rest of the day was dampened by the rain so much that we all ran for cover and ended up in the Hufflepuff Common Room curled up on the couches. Draco’s hands played absentmindedly in my hair as I continued to read The Phantom of the Opera. Abby was flipping through my vinyl collection, showing Pansy how the record player worked, a lesson Draco learned not long ago.

I paused from reading when the song shifted to a new one—Abby chose one of my dad’s Bob Segar records. My eyes closed and a smile stretched across my face as I started to sing the words to the familiar song. Setting my book down, I pulled Draco off the couch and Abby followed suit and pulling Pansy into her arms as we began to dance.

I laughed and let Draco spin me around as I sang to the classic rock legend. Draco was laughing at my antics and Abby turned up the volume, the lyrics encompassing every inch of the Common Room. Others were soon drawn to the rock song and there was a makeshift dance floor in the Common room to my dad’s record.

The next song was slower, letting Draco pull me in as we swayed back and forth softly. With my head on his shoulder, I murmured the words to the song. After a while, Draco began to hum to the repetitive melody. I never heard him hum before, let along sing. It was comforting, a soft deep sound that drew me in.

“I love you,” I whispered softly.

“As I love you,” He responded, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

Though the hour was young, my senses began to drag me under, shutting me down. I leaned a bit more against Draco and he took notice, leading me back to a sofa, letting me drape across him under a blanket. His hands went back to playing with my hair and it wasn’t fair that he was so comfortable and warm. My eyes slipped closed, knowing that I was safe.

When they opened again, Draco was still beside me, but we were in a bed—his bed. Thinking nothing of it, I rolled over. He grumbled something and his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me back to him, his chest against my back, his legs tangling with mine. His soft breaths on the back of my neck were steady enough to lull me back to sleep.

_______________________________

Draco woke, and you were sleeping peacefully beside him, a small smile on your face, as it always was when you slept. He pressed a kiss to your neck and your eyes fluttered open, squinting up at him.

“Morning,” He grinned.

“Why are you a morning person?” You grumbled, dismayed, hiding in his arms from the morning light.

“Not all of us are night owls,” He toyed.

“I am an owl,” You mumbled, causing him to laugh.

“That you are, my dear,” He chuckled, pulling you onto his chest, brushing your hair from your face.

You squinted at him again, pouting. He pressed his lips to yours, and your pout was forgotten as you kissed him back sleepily. His hands ran up your back, causing you to shudder.

“Not fair,” You mumbled against his lips. “You know exactly what you’re doing,” 

“Maybe I do,” He mused, tracing up your spine, triggering you to shiver again. 

“Draco,” You whined, laying your head on his shoulder. “Stop being mean,”

“I’m never mean,” He scoffed, false dismay in his voice.

You didn’t answer and he could see that it was because you were fast asleep again. He continued to rub your back soothingly, pulling the blanket around you both. Draco watched you sleep in the morning light, knowing that he loved you and that you loved him. It made everything else sort of fall away.

“Is she awake?” Pansy’s voice piped up from his doorway. 

He shook his head.

“Ugh, that girl can sleep,” Pansy whined.

“I told you,” Abby chimed in pushing through the door. “She’s not a morning person. She never has been,”

“You guys are loud,” Your voice slurred grumpily.

“Well, you should be awake,” Abby countered. “Rise and shine Feathers,” 

“Only Draco can call me that,” You pouted into his shoulder and he chuckled.

You were absolutely precious in the morning. He wondered how many mornings he’d have with you and if he could have them all. You yawned and he decided that he was going to fight for them all.

The week passed with gentle ‘I love you’s and nights in the Hufflepuff common room listening to records and reading books. To be fair, you two did study as well, getting ready for your O.W.L.s but there was something sacred in the quiet nights that belonged to the four of you.

“Whatever you’re planning,” You and Draco walked up to the table in the Great Hall where your friends group went very quiet all of a sudden. “Don’t. I don’t want anything for my birthday.” Your eyes narrowed on Abby.

“We were just talking strategy for the Quidditch game,” She lied with a smile.

“Sure,” You rolled your eyes and looked up at him. “I mean it. Don’t let them plan anything. No party, no cake, no nothing,”

He chuckled and sat beside you, giving Abby a knowing look. There was no way they were going to let your birthday slide. However, they were better at keeping it a secret. All he had to do was keep you busy until after the Hufflepuff Gryffindor Quidditch match the Saturday before your birthday. Which means he had you the entire day.

You pouted when he showed up in your common room that morning. 

“What’s that for?” He teased, reaching down to kiss you.

“I know what you’re planning,” Your eyes narrowed and for a moment he thought you did, but your pout returned, and he knew you were clueless.

“All I’m doing today is spending time with you. Just like every other weekend. And maybe we’ll even do some homework,” He grinned. “No birthday stuff. No party.”

“Good,” You huffed sitting next to him on the sofa.

The morning passed, and he did actually end up getting some homework done and you practiced your Transfiguration spells. You were getting quite good when you focused, not that he was helping with that.

“Oh, actually,” He looked into his bag after you both returned from lunch, grinning when he saw the anger on your face. “Will you calm down, seriously,” He chuckled. “These are from Pansy for your album, she just got them developed.” He handed you the envelope with the photos in it.

Was it a birthday present? Totally. Was he going to tell you that? Nope. You were precious when you were upset and suspicious. Grumbling, you disappeared to your room and returned with the photo album you had gotten for Christmas and took the time to transfer the photos and dates from the back onto the unused pages.

Christmas December 24th

New Years, Jan 1st

DADA Training, Malfoy Manor, Jan 3rd 

First day back, Jan 13th

Draco and Y/n dancing, Feb 14th

Valentine’s Day, Feb 14th

The last photo was taken at the tea shop and held four smiling faces as one of the cherubs did throw confetti on you all. It was one of Draco’s favorites of the four of you.

“They’re planning something, aren’t they?” Your voice was soft as you placed the last picture in the album. “I know it is my birthday, but... celebrating,” You shrugged and sighed, leaning against him. “It just doesn’t feel right with everything looming,”

“I think that’s why they want to, love,” He rubbed your shoulder softly. “We all don’t know how long we have left to be kids,”

“I wish it would all just go away,” You confessed, thumbing you locket open, the Narnian lullaby playing softly as your eyes focused on the small dancing circle of mythical creatures. “Wish we could just run away to Narnia,”

Draco gathered you into his lap and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He wanted to run away too. Away from family feuds and wars and Dark Lords and Death Eaters. Back to a time when the biggest thing he had to worry about was who won the next World Cup.

“Let’s get out of here,” He decided. “It’s not raining, why don’t you let Pinnae out? For your non-birthday-day.”

Your smile returned and he headed out to the tree by the lake, broom in hand, waiting for you to fly down. Sure enough, you came swooping down, slicing through the air. He mounted his broom and joined you, feeling the brisk breeze of the end of February on his skin. Draco jerked when you cut dangerously close to him, banking in front of him, chirping a laugh.

“You did that on purpose,” He sulked, chasing after you.

You noticed and drove straight down towards the lake. It was almost too easy, and you were much bigger than a Snitch. Just as he reached out, inches from the water, you plunged in and he was forced to swerve up, hovering above the water.

Pinnae shot up from the water, showering him in little droplets soaring into the sky. He laughed and chased after you once more. Your game continued, he’d pursue you and you’d do something to escape his grasp. Until with wings outstretched you landed on his broom, morphing back.

“You’re such a cheater,” He steadied the broom, balancing it.

“I think you’re just mad because you lost,” You grinned cheekily pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I’ve never actually flown on a broom before.”

“Really?” He was shocked; it was one of his favorite things to do.

“Well, I mean in first year, but that was it.” You shrugged, your eyes looking at the world that seemed so small below you.

Draco shifted you so that you were sitting more securely before he began to coast down towards the lake water then back up, enjoying the ride with you in front of him. He eventually landed on the riverbank, letting you down, watching you stretch. A smile fell on his face.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, noticing his stare. He continued to marvel at you.

And he might have forgotten the time, or what he was walking into then he entered the Hufflepuff common room with you and a cheer went up at your arrival.

_____________________________

I froze, staring at all of my friends, classmates, and housemates. It seemed like everyone was there, from every house. There were banners printed in Hufflepuff colors as well as ones that had “Happy Birthday Y/n” plastered across them with enchanted letters and moving images.

“We won!” Abby exclaimed running up to me. “And happy birthday,” She grinned. 

“I told you not to—” I started but she cut me off.

“You said no nothing, so...” A mischievous look was on her face.

“It’s an expression,” I uttered in despair, turning to Draco.

He was smiling at me, raising an eyebrow, and no matter how much I might have hated that he kept this from me all day, and maybe all week, his words from earlier laid on my heart: “We don’t know how long we have left...”

“Thank you,” I turned to Abby, hugging her. “I guess I can’t really complain, can I?”

“I mean you can...” Abby drawled.

“But you won’t,” Draco came up behind me and held my waist. “Because we know you,”

The party, a mix of birthday and Hufflepuff victory went on for what seemed like hours. Draco and I fell into a sort of familiar pattern, the one we had started what seemed like forever ago at the Ball: mingle, say hello, and take breaks when I became overwhelmed. It seemed like all of D.A. was there including Harry, Ron, and Hermione. It was a tense conversation between the five of us, and even more so when Pansy and Abby joined. Hermione tried to alleviate the tension and it worked to an extent. Harry was pleasant, wishing me a happy birthday. Ron mumbled about the same before breaking off to join his twin brothers, who I thought were having a good round of “never have I ever” with fire whiskey. I avoided that section of the room at all costs.

Draco and I ended up in a corner near the fireplace. I swayed slightly to the music whose bass beat seemed to thrum through me. Draco’s hands were still on my waist and had become a lot more affectionate now that he seemed comfortable with the company around us. It was hard to keep a blush off of my face with the things that he whispered lowly into my ear. Or that his hands became a bit bolder when they held me.

As curfew neared, the crowd thinned until it was our normal group of friends. Pansy was draped across Abby’s lap, nursing a glass of fire whiskey. Ernie was looking very cozy with Taylor, his hand toying with her tight brown ringlet curls. I was in Draco’s lap, in a similar fashion to Abby and Pansy. Draco’s hands had slipped up past the hem of my skirt, but I didn’t really care because we were under a blanket. I couldn’t lie, he looked inviting: his tie loose around his neck, the few top buttons of his shirt undone, his hair disheveled and out of place.

“Happy birthday,” He murmured into my neck, leaving soft kisses. “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” I smiled up at him.

His lips pressed to mine, and I could taste the sweetness of cake on his tongue. My hands knotted into his hair, pulling him closer. His fingers pressed into my skin, drawing me flush against him, moving me so that I was straddling his waist. Excitement and desire fluttered in my chest. Using my advantage, I kissed him hard, pressing him back into the couch, grinning when he fought back for dominance. A low sound emitted from his chest, warning me to give in. I hummed back, as if to scoff.

“Get a room,” I heard someone behind us.

Draco pulled back and grinned mischievously. I don’t know how it happened, but soon we were in his room and he had me pressed against the door, kissing me again. His hands slipped into my shirt, running up my sides. The warm feeling started to spread from my chest to the rest of my body as I became putty in his hands.

“Draco,” I breathed against his lips.

“Trust me,” He replied, his hands moving to stroke my face gently. “I’ve got you,”

I nodded, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He took my hand and led me to his bed, setting me there before closing and locking up the rest of the room. Our own little safe haven. A new sort of anxiety rose in my chest.

His lips were soon on mine again as he pushed me back into the bed, crawling over me. His mouth wasn’t gentle; there was a brand-new edge of conflict and desperation in the way his lips moved. He didn't stop kissing me. I was the one who had to break away, gasping for air. Even then his lips didn’t leave my skin, they just moved to my throat and down my neck. The thrill of victory was a strange high; it made me feel powerful. Brave.

My fingers found his shirt in the dark and undid the rest of the pesky buttons. He took only a moment to strip the shirt before his hands were on me again. I pulled his mouth back to mine, and he seemed just as eager as I was. Little whimpers left my mouth to his deeper growls.

“Can I?” He panted onto my lips, his hands lingering at the top button of my shirt.

“Can you?” I grinned against him, feeling him return the gesture and he unbuttoned my shirt, desire and anxiety creating a beautiful creature inside of me.

With my head resting on his pillows, hands gripping at the smooth skin of his back, his lips and tongue explored the canvas he had uncovered. His name was a whisper and plea at my lips. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire.

“Draco,” I moaned softly, drawing him back up, his blue eyes meeting mine.

My name came softly through his lips, with so much affection, I thought that my heart would burst. “Are you okay?” He murmured, soft concern on his face as he brushed a hair from my face.

I nodded, my heart warming that he was so nervous. His mask had gone, and I could see him, the real him. The kindness, gentleness and selflessness that he hid rolled off him like waves.

“Do you want this? Do you want to keep going?” He asked softly.

I wanted to say yes just as much as I wanted to say no. Stars, I wanted him, and I wanted to chase this feeling, but I knew I wasn’t ready for it. I knew that he wasn’t ready for it. It would be easy to say yes, but just as important to say no. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to say no. I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to lose this; him, being here and close, no walls, just us.

I heard him chuckle, as he kissed my jaw and neck while I thought. 

“Hmm?” I asked, really not trusting my voice.

“We’ll wait,” He whispered softly against my skin. “I promised I’d do this right,” The smile that I fell in love with came back to his lips. “And if you can’t give me a yes undoubtedly, then we won’t,”

I nodded and reached up, brushing his hair out of his face. It had grown longer over the few months, almost shaggy and unkept. A small streak of rebellion.

__________________________________

Draco’s heart felt like it was going to burst. You were panting and so innocent underneath him that it made him want to claim you so that no one else would dare to think that they could have you.

But he would wait for that. He would wait for you. He would wait for himself.

Regrettably he left you in bed to take a quick—cold—shower and gave you the space to collect yourself. You were in one of his old t-shirts tucked under the covers when he came back. Your fingers were toying with your locket, your eyes closed peacefully.

Draco slipped into bed beside you. As if you were a magnet attracted to him, you shifted and curled up beside him, your head on his chest. Your fingers traced abstract patterns on his chest and Merlin, he loved you. The two of you spent most of the night talking about nothing and everything: childhoods, favorite foods and sweets, spells, future dreams...

The morning of your actual birthday, there was hardly an attention on you at all. Every student seemed to have their hands of a copy of the Quibbler and whispering about Potter again. Your eyebrows furrowed as you read the pages of the outrageous magazine and went quiet.

“It’s nothing we didn’t know,” You sighed softly, showing him the interview from Harry. “Your father is mentioned... so are Vincent’s and Gregory’s. This could get bad,”

He skimmed the article, seeing that you were right. Harry had named his father as well as some others as Death Eaters. He tossed it to the next student, wrapping an arm around you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, knowing that hearing about his father and the Dark Lord would throw you off balance.

“I think so,” You nudged a few strawberries around your plate. “Are you?”

He nodded, feeling the stares of the students on him once more. Like they were waiting for something to happen. Then he had a sinking feeling: they were waiting for you to react to the news about his father.

“Heads up,” Abby nodded to the monstrosity in pink clicking down the walkway of the Great Hall towards Potter. “That doesn’t look good,”

Pansy cursed as Umbridge turned towards where you all were sitting. The copy of the Quibbler that he was reading not moments ago was long down the table, so he didn’t worry too much.

“Miss Y/l/n,” Umbridge snapped with a false sweetness.

Draco clenched his fists, his hand going to his wand in his robes.

“Good morning,” There was your mask of politeness.

“I was not aware that being a prefect placed you above the rules,” She tutted. “All students are to sit with their House Tables at all meals.”

“This is the Hufflepuff table,” Pansy shot back. “And no one follows that rule, it’s ancient and wrong,”

“Watch your tongue Miss Parkinson,” Umbridge’s eyes still didn’t leave yours.

“Oi,” Draco called. This time Umbridge’s eyes did flicker to his. “Pansy and I are both prefects, I don’t see what qualm you have with Miss Y/l/n here when she has done nothing wrong,”

Umbridge tilted her head, her smile becoming more forced.

“I expect more from you Mr. Malfoy. It is one thing for you to show such disrespect, but another thing to fraternize with a delinquent like Miss Y/l/n,” She talked about you like you weren’t sitting beside him, tucked under his arm.

“My apologies,” You stood, “Abby,” You looked at your friend who stood with you and the two of you rushed from the Great Hall.

Draco started to chase after you, but Pansy held him back.

“Think about it Malfoy,” She hissed. “Umbridge can write to your father.”

The thought made his blood run cold. His eyes trailed your retreating form as you turned towards in the direction of the hospital wing. Then he turned to glare at Umbridge. Never had he hated someone more. His eyes met curious green eyes from across the way.

To no one’s surprise, the Quibbler was banned before the first class could get out. Not that Draco particularly cared, he had watched students all day charm and transfigure the magazine to hide it from Umbridge’s tyrannical rule. It almost made him smile that Umbridge was being defied by every student in the school.

As soon as his class got out, he went to find you. He doubted that you went to Herbology this morning, but Abby told him you had gone and stayed behind because you were in love with a bowtruckle. Draco sighed and laughed, thinking of how much you amused him. He found you, with a Ravenclaw student, a small bowtruckle crawling up your arm. You were giggling at it, rotating your arm to keep the small thing from falling. All of your worries and hurt from this morning was absent.

“I told her you’d worry,” The Ravenclaw spoke up in a dreamy voice to him. “She didn’t seem to notice with the bowtruckle. She named him Steve.”

You looked up from Steve(?) a sheepish smile on your face.

“Look!” You glowed, beckoning the bowtruckle into your palm and holding it out to him. “Professor Sprout just got them in, aren’t they precious?”

He wondered if Sprout really just got them or if the professor had been saving them for a day like this for you. Setting his bag down, he took the stool next to you, offering his hand to one of the small leafy creatures. One hoisted itself onto his hand. He much preferred these to mandrakes or anything else he had encountered in herbology.

“Very good at lockpicking,” The Ravenclaw nodded, about six bowtruckles on her shoulders. “Social creatures.”

“Luna, we’re not using them to lock pick,” You rolled your eyes.

“Oh, I know. There’s a spell for that. I’m just glad they’re not Nifflers, they’ll steal anything shiny.”

Draco finally placed why there was something familiar about this Ravenclaw student: it was Loony—Luna Lovegood.

“I don’t think he likes me much. He’s the one who started my other name you know.” Luna didn’t look up from Steve in your hand.

“He doesn’t like anyone much,” You smiled up at him. “Only a few.”

“I suppose you like him though. Seeing you became an Animagus and all for him,”

Draco froze and he felt you tense next to him. Both of you gazes were transfixed on Luna, who was nonchalantly picking up another bowtruckle.

“How did you know that?” You demanded. “How... who told you?”

“No one told me, but the signs were there. Silent for a month, you don’t really mind cold weather, and you have the mark. I’m surprised the bowtruckles like you, normally owls prey on them,”

“What mark?”

“All Animagi have them. You can’t see it though without having been kissed by a gnome you know the name of.”

He watched your face go through different stages of disbelief. At the moment all he was worried about was your safety.

“You can’t tell anyone,” He hissed. “It would put her life in danger.”

“No one believes what I say,” Luna’s large blue eyes met his. “I suppose I have you to thank for that,” It wasn’t a threat, but it guilted him. “And perhaps Granger to an extent.”

“Luna, this is serious, no one can ever know.” You pressed, setting Steve on the workbench. “Not Harry, not Neville, no one.”

_____________________________________

I was too preoccupied with Luna knowing my secret that I didn’t realize that Steve had crawled up my arm and to my shoulder until Draco’s hand carefully caught the bowtruckle and placed him back on the work bench.

“I won’t tell anyone if it means that much,” She smiled at me sweetly.

“Thank you,” I breathed out.

“Your father is a Death Eater.” Luna’s large eyes looked to Draco. “It must be difficult,” 

“I... um... yeah,” He stammered, thrown off balance by the kindness that Luna offered. 

“We should get going,” I whispered.

Waving to Luna and saying goodbye to Steve, we headed back towards the castle. Now that Umbridge was animate about keeping all of the students at the proper house tables under the watchful eye of herself and Mr. Filch, Draco and I only sat together in one class: Potions.

Being away from him gave me a strange sort of feeling. I had gotten used to him being by my side. Knowing that I would be alone left me more anxious than I had been in months. I was forced to keep a vial or two of Anxiety or Thoughts potion in my bag just to make it through a day. Draco always seemed to have them on his person as well, slipping me them between classes or at night when I’d spend countless hours in his dorm room: studying, talking, kissing, lamenting.

It was the beginning of April when things seemed to go from bad to worse. Draco, Pansy, and I were heading back from the library on a night that D.A. was occurring. A large group of students—that I recognized immediately as D.A.— were rushing down the hall and scattering. Abby grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Draco causing me to run with her or face falling.

As I rounded the corner, I saw Draco and Harry sprawled on the floor in what seemed like a collision in the fervor. Both boy’s eyes were locked on mine, a streak of pink standing over them as I disappeared around the hall and ducked into the Owlery.

“What the hell?” I panted at Abby.

“We were outed. Merlin, Y/n are you okay?” She panted.

“Are you?” I asked, checking her over. “I’m going back out there,”

“You can’t! Umbridge will expel you!” Abby protested.

“She can’t expel and owl,” I grinned and hugged her quickly, morphing into Pinnae.

“Be careful!” She called as I soared into the night and towards the tower that held Dumbledore’s office.

Perched on a window, I saw the entire scene unfold. Not that I particularly cared—I was just looking for Draco, to make sure that he was okay. About to fly away, I paused upon hearing Draco’s name.

“He was heading back to Gryffindor Tower,” said Umbridge. There was an indecent excitement in her voice, the same callous pleasure I had heard many times before. “The Malfoy boy cornered him.”

“Did he, did he?” said the Minister of Magic appreciatively. “I must remember to tell Lucius. Well, Potter . . . I expect you know why you are here?”

That was good wasn’t it? Not that Draco had meant to crash into Harry allowing Umbridge to grab him, but... maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. I hoped that Umbridge didn’t catch sight of me in the hall. I flew from the window and to an opened window where a blond-haired boy paced the floor. I morphed mid-flight into his room, landing on two feet with a soft thud.

“Merlin, Y/n!” Draco exclaimed drawing me into his arms. “Look I didn’t mean to get Harry caught, I didn’t! He ran into me, and stars,” He was frantic in his explanation.

“Draco, Dray, calm down,” I soothed brushing his hair from his face. “Everything’s okay.”

I sat him down on the bed and explained everything that had happened in Dumbledore’s office. He listened quietly, nodding and slowly calming down, his eyes not leaving my hands that were encased in his.

“I should get back,” I whispered. “Abby’s probably freaking out...”

He nodded. My heart fell because I knew I had to leave him when it seemed I needed him the most. I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and took off into the night. Abby was freaking out when I got back, but in a happy manor.

“I summoned a Patronus!” She told me excitedly. “It was the coolest thing! It was a badger! Like our house!”

I tried to share her excitement, but I couldn’t. I was too emotionally drained to. She caught my energy level quickly and simmered down. I told her about what happened in Dumbledore’s office, and she cursed Marietta. I changed into pajamas and drew the curtains to my bed. I spent the night staring at my locket’s magical scene, the lullaby lulling me to sleep.

The next day, Umbridge was appointed Headmistress of Hogwarts and it took everything in me not to leave on the spot. I met Draco’s eyes from across the dining hall and his grim expression matched mine.

Then came the Inquisitorial Squad.

“What in Merlin’s name possessed you to join her squad!?” I paced the floor of the Hufflepuff common room where the four of us were at a standoff. “Are you serious!?” I snapped at Draco.

“Y/n, please, I had to.” Draco stood, stopping me in my tracks. “She’s reporting to my father. If I didn’t join...”

That sapped all of the fight from me.

“Okay but that doesn’t explain you!” Abby spat at Pansy. “What were you thinking!?”

“You act like I didn’t join to keep you safe too!” Pansy shot back, almost snarling. “If Draco and me are on her squad, she thinks she’s won! And we get to see everything she plans firsthand!”

I sighed and rubbed my face. Pansy was right, and so was Draco. No matter how much I loathed the idea, it was smart. My hand reflexively went to the back of my hand where the memory of pain from detention with her lingered. Pansy and Abby were still bickering, but I didn’t pay them any mind. Draco hesitantly reached out for me.

I took his hand and exhaled softly.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered softly. “It was smart. I’m sorry I yelled.”

He nodded and drew me in.

“I hate it too, but with her here, it’s like my father has eyes and ears here. Sometimes I wonder if he already knows.”

“Do... Do you think we should...?” I hated even considering the idea. It made my stomach churn and heart fall to the depths of hell.

“No,” He answered immediately. “I’m not giving you up. The safest place for you to be for both of us is with me. I’ll go senseless with worry and you’ll get anxious and it will just fall apart.”

I nodded and looped my arms around his neck.

“I love you,” I offered weakly.

“As I love you,” He brushed away the escaped tears on my cheeks.

It was hard to stay bleak though, as the Easter holiday was this weekend and cut into next week. I returned home, and though I didn’t see Draco over the short holiday, we wrote to another daily. The small break offered some solace from Umbridge’s dictatorial administration. A break from Hogwarts in general.

The day I returned, I had to go and see Professor Sprout about future plans and career choices under the watchful eye of the horror in pink.

“Have you considered Muggle Relations?” Sprout offered. “Work for the Ministry?” Umbridge tutted.

It took a lot of willpower not to snark about the way the Ministry had gone down the drain, but Sprout caught my sentiment and switched tactics.

“How about a Healer?” She suggested.

“Too much anxiety,” I gave. “I did consider it though, but I’d never make it,” 

“Quite right,” Umbridge muttered under her breath.

I pursed my lips, glaring at her. Sprout scoffed with discussed then faced me again.

“Well, my dear, you excel in a great number of things, it may be time for you to find which one impassions you the most and pursue that,” Professor Sprout smiled. “I have no doubt that you will succeed in whatever you try.”

I left with a bunch of different pamphlets of different jobs that I could pursue, and they were shoved into the bottom of my bag as I went to find Draco.

“I think I want to become and Auror,” He said thoughtfully as we studied for our Charms exam. 

“An Auror?” I looked to him, a smile on my face. “I could see it,”

“Really? Snape didn’t seem too pleased when I mentioned it in passing. I’ve got the grades for it... and after everything... maybe I could do some good in the world,” He fiddled with his quill, staring down at his notes.

“You’d be a great Auror,” I encouraged, taking his hand.

Another beacon of hope that the next few weeks offered was Fred and George Weasley, who a week after setting off a hoard of fireworks in the Great Hall, hexed an entire floor as a swamp and rode to victory on their broomsticks right out of Hogwarts. We all cheered them on then scattered before Umbridge or Filch could throw a detention our way.

Things seemed to simmer down through the rest of May and the four of us found a new sort of normalcy. It wasn’t what we wanted it to be, but it was better than fighting with each other or getting caught by Umbridge so... it would have to do.

Draco’s birthday was in the middle of review week, so Abby, Pansy and I couldn’t plan much, but Pansy did manage to sneak a bottle of fire whiskey, Abby found a way to get into the kitchen so that she and I could spend a few hours baking. With the cupcakes cooled and frosted we headed to the Slytherin common room.

“Happy Birthday,” I grinned.

“Oh, come on, we have to study,” Draco pouted, defeated.

“You have time for one cupcake,” I wrapped my arms around him from behind, leaning my head on his shoulder. “I made them myself.” Abby cleared her throat. “Okay, we made them, but come on Dray, you deserve a little fun,”

He gave in and set down his quill. I cheered victoriously as a makeshift party formed. It was nothing like the rave that occurred in late February, but I didn’t think Draco wanted anything but the four of us together. Well, four plus Ernie, Hannah, Vincent, and Gregory. Pansy had shoved a handful of frosting in Abby’s face, who retaliated and now they were both licking frosting off the other shamelessly. I looked back to my own cupcake and licked the frosting timidly. Draco laughed beside me at the shenanigans that occurred around him, victim to the whiskey and need to unwind.

And for a moment, the weight of everything around us lifted from his eyes and features. That was worth everything.

___________________________________

Two weeks of O.W.L.s and Draco thought if he had to write his name one more time or hear Umbridge recite the same script of rules, he was going to hex her. He had spent his nights with you, studying and practicing spells.

Despite the looming exams, you seemed almost at ease. Draco could tell that you were anxious, you had been for weeks before the exams, but you walked into each exam with your head held high in confidence. You later told him that you had a technique to taking exams that kept you calm: either you knew it or you didn’t, and there was no need to have a panic attack about what you didn’t know.

After his astronomy exam, he found you with Abby in the halls talking to Ginny and Luna. They went quiet as he approached, and he tried not to take it personally. You took his hand.

“We need his help.” You pressed. “We’ve got to make it look like you all are captured, get Umbridge out of the way, then you guys can go!” You insisted.

Ginny glared him down and Luna looked like she didn’t have a care in the world, so the norm.

“What’s going on?” He interjected.

Ginny huffed. “Fine, tell him.”

“Harry thinks that Sirius has been captured by Death Eaters and they want to go and save him, but they can’t with the wicked witch in pink prowling the halls,” You explained quickly.

“So,” Abby picked up. “You go and ‘capture’ the ones who want to go, bring them to Umbridge, Hermione will get Umbridge out of the way, and then let them go,”

You looked up at him, a pleading look on your face. He took you aside, out of ear shot of the others.

“You want me to help Potter save a convicted felon?” He snapped. “Have you gone mad?”

“Look, I’ve met Sirius, and Hermione told me about what really happened, and Draco please, if someone had captured my father, I’d—” Your eyes became glossy with tears.

“When did you meet Sirius?” He demanded.

“Look, it was about a week into being Pinnae. Harry attached a letter to me and...” 

..............................

Late September...

I looked at the letter tied to my ankle and suddenly I felt a pull in my chest and my wings spreading. It was as if the letter itself possessed the magic to direct me to the recipient. Knowing that I couldn’t fight against it, I gave in and let the magic guide me.

I came to a place in London. A house. I fluttered to a window and chirped. A man with long brown wavy hair greeted me at the window. He was familiar, somehow. Then it dawned on me.

Sirius Black.

The escaped convict from Azkaban.

He peered at me, his gray eyes seeing right through my Animagus and into my soul. As if he knew what to look for in an Animagus.

“Come inside and rest for a bit, it’s a long flight back, there’s tea and biscuits downstairs” Was all he said after taking the letter.

I gaped after him, such a human gesture that I slipped out of form instantly. “H-how did you know?” I stammered, chasing after him, any fear towards him fleeting.

“Takes one to know one,” He muttered, lumbering to the kitchen table and sitting at the head seat. “So, who’d you do it for?”

“No one,” I covered quickly.

He gave me a look that told me he wasn’t convinced.

“Look, kid,”

“Y/n,” I gave.

“Y/n,” He rolled his eyes, unamused. “Becoming an Animagus is hard work and it take true dedication and devotion to a cause or person. So, I’ll ask again, who’d you do it for?”

I sat down in one of the chairs, a few seats away from him and looked down at the table. My gaze flickered to his as he waited expectantly.

“You’re close with Harry, yeah?” My eyes flitted to the note and back to steady grey eyes. 

He gave a seldom nod.

“And the stuff they say in the papers isn’t true, is it? My mother’s always defending you,” 

“Your mother?” He mused.

“Elizabeth Y/l/n,”

A smile touched Sirius’ lips.

“I knew her, back in school. Slytherin as they come. Until she met your dad. Then everything changed. It was so unnatural.” He was lost in a memory and I was holding onto his every word.

“I never met my father,” I said crestfallen. “He... He died in the war,” 

“He was a part of the Order you know,”

“The Order? Like Star Wars?”

Sirius barked out a laugh, his eyes shining for a moment.

“The Order of The Phoenix,” Sirius clarified. “Merlin, you’re like your father,” 

My smile dropped a bit. “The Order?” I asked again.

“An opposing group during the war. Voldemort had his Death Eaters; we had the Order. And still do,”

I nodded. “You said my mother was a true Slytherin, but that changed when she met my father...”

“Quite right, take a certain heart to get through to a Slytherin,” “Malfoy,” I whispered to the table. “I did it for Draco Malfoy,”

“So, you’re the Hufflepuff Harry goes on about,” Sirius leaned back in his chair, not giving away any emotion other than nonchalance.

“You can’t tell him that I’m an Animagus,” I rushed out pleading. “It would jeopardize everything,”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Sirius smiled. “Malfoy,” He scoffed. “No wonder Harry is so livid whenever someone mentions the either of you. James used to get so mad about your parents being together,”

“There is good in him.”

“There’s good in almost everyone,” Sirius mended. “The question you have to ask yourself: is it enough to be worth it?”

“That’s not my call to make,” I snapped.

An amused smile grew on his lips.

“And you’re sure you’re not a Gryffindor?”

I scoffed at the mere thought. “Bunch of stuck ups who think they’re always right. No thanks,” 

“You got spunk, kid,” Sirius chuckled. “And a good heart. I’m rootin’ for ya,”

“Really?”

“Sure,” He shrugged. “I told you, becoming an Animagus takes dedication and devotion. Even false hope is still hope,”

..............................

Draco gaped at you as you rushed to apologize for not telling him. And to be fair, there was a lot going on back then as there was now. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair and nodded.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

You jumped up and hugged him, beaming. He held you close before releasing you, going to round up the rest of his Squad to set the plan into motion. He did his best to act like the arrogant Slytherin that Umbridge took him for as she grilled Harry for information. When he was told to fetch Snape, he filled the professor quickly in on what was going on before putting on his act once more.

Hermione gave him one look then burst into tears, unveiling her plan to get Umbridge out of her office. And it was quite brilliant. He never really noticed before, but Hermione was quick on her feet. The kind of cunning that a Slytherin would envy.

When Umbridge, Harry, and Hermione were out the door, he had his friends release the small band of rebels.

“Here,” Draco pulled Harry’s wand from his robes, to a confused Ron and Neville who were about to full on brawl. “Now get out. Quickly.” The others were released, and his Squad flocked behind him, Pansy at his right-hand side.

“What in Merlin’s name?” Ron stammered.

“He’s on our side!” Ginny explained quickly, grabbing her brother’s arm. “Now let’s go,”

Dumbfounded, Ron staggered from the room with the others. Luna smiled and waved as she left, hand in hand with Neville. Sagging and rubbing his face, he stormed from the office, ripping the Inquisitorial Squad badge from his robes, leaving it in the hallway. The end of term was two days away and he felt as if after tonight, the entire Wizarding world was about to change.

There was the same fear and anticipation in your eyes as he gathered you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your lips harshly. You didn’t complain, instead you let him push you against the nearest wall and let him kiss you aggressively until all of his fears and doubts melted away on your lips. Pulling away softly, you looked up at him through your eyelashes silent reassurances in them.

And they waited. All night.

You were wrapped up in his arms as he, you, Abby, and Pansy lounged across his bed. You had tried to read aloud, but your voice got too shaky and too quick and jumbled. You gave up and sighed, pulling out your locket, thumbing it open and watching the Dawn Treader sail on the sea waters.

It was the early hours of the morning when an owl came fluttering to the window. He recognized the family owl and took the letter from its grasp with shaky hands. You were beside him, a gentle hand on his shoulder. Pansy and Abby must have gone, because he was alone with you.

Finding the courage he could, Draco opened the letter and distinguished his mother’s handwriting.

~

Draco,

Your father has been captured as well as Crabbe and Goyle and a few others and sent to Azkaban. They were sent on a mission to find a prophecy and it went awry.

Bring Miss Y/n back with you when you come home. I’ve already arranged it with her mother. 

Take heart my love,

Narcissa Malfoy,

~

His hands started to shake as he read the words over and over again, trying to make sense of them. Trying to wish them unreal. Draco let you take the paper from his hands as he let out a strangled cry. You were right there. He collapsed into your arms, terrified for what came next.

________________________________

Draco and I ended up on the floor. He clung to me, letting silent tears and gruesome cries escape. I bit back my own tears and consoled him the best I could. I took deep exaggerated breaths, knowing he needed a steady pace to match his own. I kept a rhythm as I rubbed his back. It might not have been a potion, but I knew how to get him through a panic attack. I repeated the same words softly: it’s going to be alright, I’m here, I love you.

Over the weekend, I had packed up my things, ready to leave, and moved into Draco’s dorm for those few days. Anyone who dared say anything to him, taunting or jeering, got a hex to the face.

On the rare occasion that I was without him, I ran into Harry who was coming from the Gryffindor common room.

“Y/n, look,” He started, “I don’t know how to tell you this but Draco’s—”

“Father is a Death Eater, yes I know.” I said firmly. “And he’s in Azkaban right now. I know that too.”

Harry looked at me, shocked.

“But... then... you’re still...” He stammered.

“Yes.” I folded my arms, but my demeanor softened. “And... I’m sorry about Sirius,”

He stiffened, his fist clenching.

“So, you knew that it was a trap! I bet Draco knew! That’s why he decided to help us!” He spat at me.

“What? No!” I defended quickly. “He had no idea! Neither did I! Harry, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Ridiculous!? Me!? Look at you! You’re delusional to think he actually cares about you! He’s using you! That’s what he does!” His words were a slap to the face.

“No that’s what you do!” I shouted back. “I’ve tried to be nice Harry! I’ve defended you time and time again and you’re still just as cruel! Just like Draco used to be! But you know what he changed! You might be a hero, but you’re acting like a real asshole!”

Harry drew his wand, glowering at me. I drew my own wand.

“Do it Potter,” I spat. “Come on. Scared of a Hufflepuff?” I twirled my wand. He raised his wand.

“Stop!”

We both turned, seeing Snape come down the hall, Draco and Abby right behind him. I didn’t lower my wand even though Harry did.

“What do you think you’re doing Potter?” Snape hissed, glaring down Harry. Draco and Abby were at my side, their wands out. I rolled my eyes and put my wand away. 

“Nothing,” Harry bit out, glaring at me. “He won’t always be around to protect you.” “He doesn’t need to protect me,” I scoffed.

Harry left muttered under his breath. Snape turned to the three of us.

“Miss Y/n,” The professor started.

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my temper,” I mumbled.

“I was only going to suggest that you loosen up on your wand a bit and center your stance,” Snape had a small smile on his face. “No need for you to get knocked over in a duel,” And with that he left, his robes billowing behind him.

“Are you okay?” Draco asked, stroking my cheek.

I nodded. “Just Harry being Harry,” I gave an amused smile. “Come on, we’re going to be late,”

At the End of Year feast, Draco sat by my side. Now that Dumbledore was back, we were allowed to sit together. I was also allowed to wear my muggle t-shirts again. I realized that it was also the small things that had worn me down over the year as well as the bigger things.

I sat with Draco on the train ride back as well. The compartment only allowed the four of us in it. Draco took the window seat and I stretched out beside him, curling up with The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland. I had found the right balance of asking him if he was alright, pressing for answers, and letting him have space to think on his own.

Narcissa greeted us both at the station, hugging me and stroking Draco’s face softly. Saying my goodbyes to Abby and promising to write to her, Draco and I set off, hand in hand. We walked

through the marvelous front door of the Manor. Draco sighed and set off to his room, trailing me with him.

“Draco, whose wand is this?” I asked, picking up the wand from his bedside table.

The wand seemed to hum at my touch, and it was familiar somehow.

“No ones,” He answered quickly, turning from his trunk.

I could see the lie for what it was and frowned. When did he lie to me?

“Draco?” I pressed softly. “What...?”

“Just leave it.” He demanded. “It’s not important.”

“I’d say it’s pretty important,” My voice started to raise without my permission.

“Y/n, it’s not what you think,” His voice hardened. “Just leave it.” It was nearly a snarl.

“Draco,” I snapped. “Whose wand is this!?” His gaze dropped to the bed, his hands clenched tightly into fists, shaking slightly.

“Your father’s,”

Whatever I had thought, whatever explanation I tried to find, it wasn’t that. I took a small step away from him.

“Why do you have this?” I hissed, gripping it tightly.

“It belongs to me,” his voice was soft and void of emotion, his eyes still didn’t reach mine.

“It belongs to me,” I snapped, tears rushing to my eyes. “What... why... how could you!?” I stammered, now yelling at him. “You kept this from me!? As if you had a right to it!” My blood boiled with anger.

“I do have the right!” He argued back, snarling, his cold blue eyes finally snapping to mine. “My father killed your father. My father forfeited the wand and now it belongs to me!”

I froze, staring at him. Trying to process his words and his harsh tone he never used at me, my mind reeled with pain and betrayal. What else had he been keeping from me? How long had he kept it from me? Was this all just a ploy? My mind thought of everything we had been through and I started to doubt it all.

“You have no idea the world you live in!” Draco sneered. “All you do is run away to stupid books and fairytales! They don’t exist Y/n! It’s time you grew up and faced the real world!” It was a slap to the face.

“The real world?” I shrieked. “What that your father is a Death Eater!? That he’s working for Voldemort!? That he murdered my father!? That you’ve kept it from me all this time!?” I could barely see him through my tears.

“Because you’re taking it so well!” He shouted. “How do you think I’ve felt!? Knowing what my father did to again darken the Malfoy name!? Knowing that you’d never forgive me for this!? Did you ever stop to think!? No! You only care about yourself! As long as you get to play messiah! As long as you get to run away to a fairytale!”

I squeezed my eyes shut, my lip quivering in hurt and anger. I dropped the wand to the floor unceremoniously and slipped the familiar weight of the locket from around my neck. I threw it onto his bed.

“Take them then,” I barely spoke. “And have fun with reality,” My face held an emotionless mask.

I met his eyes one last time. Then I turned and Pinnae flew out into the night.

I flew fast and far. Towards my mother’s house. I stumbled a few times in the air, my human emotions overriding my bird form. I made it home though. A miserable mess of tears, but home.

“Y/n?” My mother asked. “I thought you were with Draco,”

“How long have you known!?” I yelled, storming in through the front door. “How long have you known his father killed mine!?”

“Y/n, honey,” My mother cooed, rushing to comfort me.

“No! I want an answer! How long!?” My voice waivered as my faith in what I really knew started to crumble. I pulled out my wand and wielded it against her.

“Since he died,” My mother took a deep breath in. “I told Draco at Christmas. I gave him your father’s wand. It belongs to him,”

“You... you didn’t think to ask me!? Or tell me!?” I screeched. “How could you!?”

“I was keeping you safe!”

“By lying to me!?” I shot back. “All this time! My whole life!” Then it hit me. “I thought Draco knew from the beginning... but it was you! You kept it from me! You did this! Why would you do this!?”

“To keep you safe!” She shouted back. “His father killed my love! I didn’t want to see the same fate to my daughter!”

“So, you set the whole thing up!” I gaped at her. “You knew that I would get mad Draco! You knew I’d...” I took a step back, the weight of the situation crashing around me.

I didn’t know who to trust.

“Y/n, please, you have to understand—”

“No,” I spat. “You just cost me the most important thing in my life.”

“Family is the most important!” She threw the accusation at me. “Are you going to give that up for a Malfoy!?”

“He was my family! He was my home! I love him!”

Shaking my head in disbelief, I backed up to the door, and again, Pinnae flew out into the night. I didn’t know where to go. I had just lost everything. That was the reality I had to face. I wanted to go back to Draco. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t intend to get so angry and hurtful. I didn’t mean to walk out.

I glided over the countryside and found myself in a familiar place that I visited a few times a year. Surrounded by headstones, I phased back, walking towards a known gravestone.

“Oh Papa,” I sobbed, falling at the foot of the stone. “What did I do?”

I cried and cried, my tears falling and wetting the marble stone. I pleaded to him. I begged him to come back and tell me what to do. I just needed to hear his voice. Knowing I never would, I started sobbing harder. Just wishing he was somehow here again. Just so he could tell me what to do.

Sitting back on my knees, I gazed around at the stone angel statues and mausoleums. It seemed all wrong for the memories of my father, the cold stones that surrounded me. He was warm and gentle.

“Why did she have to... Why can’t the past just die!?” I sobbed out, hugging my knees. “Papa,” I whimpered. “Teach me to live...to forgive... give me the strength to try,” I buried my face in my arms and cried.

It was agony. I had no one. I had nowhere to go. I wasn’t going back to my mother, and Draco no doubt hated me. I couldn’t even be upset that Lucius killed my father because it wasn’t the worst betrayal I had faced today.

I had given everything up. 

I was truly alone.

.

.

Chapter 6

.

End note: I did apologize right?

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[ewritesthangs]

The Big Day

Today, was the day. Corpse and you were getting married. You woke up bright and early, but not before Corpse. He left you a rose with a note beside the bed. 

'I'll see you later. I'll be the guy at the alter. 🖤' 

Starting the day off with an even bigger smile than before. You received a text from your maid of honor, your mom, your dad, Sean. All basically saying they're excited to see you guys get married. You just chuckle and get ready for the day. First was nails. Then hair and makeup. Then to the venue. You put on a shirt that said "Bride", some jeans and your converse. You drive to breakfast first, since the nail salon wasn't open yet. The wedding was at 1. It was 945. Your appointment was at 1030 for nails. Breakfast was only some muffins and coffee. Iced, for you. You guys get there early, so they take you in early. You get acrylics. (See picture above) this took over an hour. By the time you finished, you had about 15 minutes to go to your next appointment. Which was only a few minutes away. 

"Were gonna be late!" 

"I'll call and tell them that I might be late. Don't worry Y/BFF/N." you did as you said, calling to make sure it would be okay if they were a little late just in case you guys were. 

"Of course love! You are my only client today. I want to see you guys get married. Uh-duh." You laugh. 

"Thank you so much. I'll make sure you get a nice tip."

"Just give me some extra cake." 

"You've got that too." You hang up and head over there.

CORPSE POV  

I awoke earlier than my wife to leave her a cute note with a rose. I leave her with a sweet kiss to her forehead before actually leaving for the day. Our day. Our wedding day. I was spending the day with Sean, Felix, Sykkuno, and some other friends of mine. Today was going to be a great day, though I am super anxious. I take some of my meds to help. The guys pick me up and bring me to go to breakfast first. At my favorite spot. 

"Soooo, are you nervous? Excited?" 

"Yes." I chuckle and order some food. "I'm nervous something might go wrong. But i'm excited to marry the love of my life." 

"Awww our Corpsey is growing up." Felix says feigning choked up. 

"Yeah, I really am. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Y/N." 

"So sappy. I love it." Sean chimes in. We eat once the food arrives and converse about anything and everything. 

"Where are you guys going for your honeymoon?" 

"Welllll were going to...." I tell them where. (Keeping it a surprise to you guys still.) 

"She is going to love it!" 

We then head to the venue to get ready. 

Back to 2ND PERSON POV 

You were finished up with your hair and makeup. You looked breathtakingly beautiful. Your mom chokes up. 

"My baby girl. Getting married." 

"Mom you're gonna me cry." You fan your eyes and hug her. 

"Lets get to the venue and get you dressed. Thankfully the venue is right around the corner." She chuckles. You guys head there. 

Upon arrival, you see many people already there. You were nervous, yet excited to marry Corpse. You get out of the car and go in, making sure no man sees you. You wanted to capture the moment your father sees you and your husband, of course. You go into a room of the barn there. You get dressed with the help of your best friend. Them and everyone tear up. At how breathtaking you look. 

"I said I wouldn't cry but crap here we go." Your best friend says, fanning their eyes. You laugh, tearing up yourself. 

"Guys I'm gonna cry!" You fan yourself. "God today is so emotional. I knew it would be." 

"It's almost time guys!" Your mom yells, excited. She goes out and sits down. Your best friend goes out and waits for her turn. Your dad comes in and stops, his breath hitching. 

"My baby girl. Getting married. To a wonderful man. Im so happy for you. You're so beautiful." He lets a few tears fall as he takes you into his arms. A Thousand Years by The Piano Guys starts to play. Signalling its time. Time to walk down the aisle to your future. 

"Don't let me fall, daddy." You whisper, holding onto his arm. You take a deep breath. 

"Never my love." You guys begin your ascend. You walk from the barn, to the aisle. Corpse sees you and instantly his eyes fill with tears. You were the only girl in the world, in that moment. Your own breath hitches at the sight of your future husband. You slowly walk to your Corpsey. He holds his hand out for you. Your dad lifts your veil and kisses you gently on the cheek. 

“Who gives this young lady to this young man?” The wedding officiant says. 

“I do.” Your father says, voice breaking. Corpse takes your hand and you hand off your flowers to your best friend so you can hold his other hand. 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Corpse and Y/N. If anybody has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace. Thank the Lord nobody said anything.” That comment causes everyone to laugh. “The bride and groom have written their vows. Corpse, your first.”

“Y/N, when we met I knew we would be at least friends forever. When you said yes to dating me, I knew we were in for the long run. I had grown to have strong feelings for you. And they keep growing for you every second of every day. The love I have for you is unmatched. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I do you. You have shown me I am loveable, I am enough, I can conquer anything. You mean more to me than I ever thought possible. You really do complete me. You have made me a better man. And I am eternally grateful for you being in my life. Now here we are. On our wedding day, granted I started writing this when you said yes to marrying me, you look beyond breathtaking. You standing in front of me ready to say I do, I hope.I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives and beyond together. I promise to uplift you, to love you forever and beyond, to be there for you, to cherish you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Together we can do anything. I love you, Y/N Y/M/N.” By the end of the vows’ you were in tears, happy tears but still. You were thankful for good setting spray and waterproof makeup. Corpse’s voice had waived during the duration of his vows’. “Oh baby.” He wipes your tears from your cheeks, trying so hard not to kiss your supple lips. 

“That was beautiful, holy crap. Any dry eyes up in here? No? I didn’t think so!” You chuckle. 

“Y/N, are you okay to say your vows?” The officiant says. 

“Yes. I’ve got this.” You take a deep breath before taking out your vows. “Corpse. My love. I knew from the moment I met you, we would forever be in each others lives. When I began to catch feelings for you, you asked me out. With great relief, I said yes. He likes me too! I knew from that moment on, we would get married someday. And I had a feeling that if the feeling was mutual, you’d pick Halloween as our wedding date.” You chuckle and sniffle a little. “My love for you only grows stronger as the seconds pass. I can’t imagine, nor will I, a life without you. You make me the happiest every moment of every day. I promise to love you until the end of time and beyond. I promise to be there for you, to love you no matter what happens in life. I promise to let you stream peacefully. I promise to have and to hold you in every way possible. I promise everything. I do I do I do. With all of my heart and soul, I do!” You wipe your tears and smile at your Corpse. 

“Beautiful! Now who is ready to put them rings on?” The officiant chimes. “Corpse, do you take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold? For richer or for poorer? In sickness and in health from this day forward?” 

His face broke out in the biggest grin. “I do.” He slides on your ring. 

“And do you, Y/N, take Corpse to be your lawfully wedded husband? You heard me say that stuff for him right? I don’t have to repeat?” He causes everybody to laugh again. “To have and to hold? For richer or for poorer? In sickness and in health from this day forward?” 

“Hell yes I do!” You slip his ring on with the biggest grin matching Corpses. 

“I now pronounce you husband and wife! Corpse, kiss your bride.” 

“With pleasure.” He takes your cheeks in his hands and he kisses you passionately. Sparks and butterflies fly around. And you pull him in closer by his waist. Everyone cheers for you. 

“I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. H/L/N!” He pulls back only slightly before pecking your lips then holding your hands up. 

“We’re married!” He cheers. You giggle and cheer as well. Your best friend hands you your flowers. You walk back down the aisle, a married woman. 

--------

Decorations flow in the light breeze of the autumnal afternoon. Laughter and conversations warm up the reception before the bride and groom enter. The final click of the camera notifies you that it was time to go to the reception. You hold onto Corpse's arm, walking into the reception once announced. You guys had planned on doing the first dance right away, to get it out of the way for both of you don't dance the best. You guys practiced a slow dance though, the whole time you guys were engaged. I'll Follow You by Shinedown begins to play. You and Corpse go to straight to the dance floor. Your arms wrap around his neck loosely and his arms wrap around your waist. 

If I could find assurance to leave you behind 

I know my better half would fade 

And all my doubts 

Is a staircase for you 

Up and out of this base 

The first step is the one you believe in 

The second one might be profound 

Eyes lock. Love emits. Kisses pressed to your lips. 

I'll follow you down to the eye of the storm 

Don't worry I'll keep you warm 

I'll follow you down 

While we're passing through space 

I don't care if we fall from grace 

I'll follow you down 

Twirls. Corpse twirls you a few times and pulls you close once again. 

You can have the money and the world

The angels and the pearls

Even trade my heart for color blue

Just like the tower we never built

And the shadow of all the guilt

When the other hand was pointing at you

Yet the first step is the one you believe in

The second one might be profound

You look at your husband with nothing but pure love and joy. He truly makes you the happiest. 

I'll follow you down to the eye of the storm

Don't worry I'll keep you warm

I'll follow you down while we are passing through space

I don't care if we fall from grace

You are picked up by your husband and spun around a few times. 

I'll follow you down to where forever lies

Without a doubt I'm on your side

There is no where else I'd rather be

I'm not about to compromise

Give you up to say goodbye

I've got you through the deep

I'll keep you close to me

I'll follow you down to the eye of the storm

Don't worry I'll keep you warm

I'll follow you down

While we are passing through space

I don't care if we fall from grace

I'll follow you

If I could find assurance

To leave you behind

I know my better would fade

I'll follow you down

Corpse pulls you in for a sweet kiss. Dips you down. You squeal, feeling butterflies in your stomach. He chuckles at your response and pulls you back up. "I love you so much Mrs. H/L/N." 

"I love you just as much, maybe more." 

----------

Later that night, as the reception is winding down, you find your husband with his streaming buddies laughing away. 

"Honey, it's almost time." You softly remind your husband. You knew you guys had a flight soon for the reception was almost finished. 

"Okay baby, let's go get dressed." His voice, though always raspy, was soft and sweet. He pressed a kiss to your temple. You just smile up at him and press a kiss to his jaw. Back to the changing rooms of the barn, you guys venture off to. You change into a cute little white dress, while Corpse changes into a button up shirt and some jeans. You guys meet back up, your veil still on. 

"My beautiful wife." Emphasis on the wife. "I'll never tire of calling you my wife." His smile was unbreakable. 

"Where are we going?" You ask, still unaware of where he was taking you for your honeymoon. 

"Hmmm. Where is somewhere you have always wanted to go?"  

"Bora bora?" 

"Yes baby." 

"What! How?!" 

"Thank Sean for helping. It was part of his gift." He winks and chuckles. You jump up into his arms and hug him tightly. Perfect way to end the perfect day. 

Tag list: @teenloves @whatinthyworld @deadangelbride @teamragnarssons @lovely-ki

[mylyricpages]

INTERVIEW WITH JEFF SCOTT # 8 ( 2023 )

“After twenty years I keep thinking what else is there left to write about, but to my constant surprise life keeps providing inspiration.”

Barely a year after ‘On The Outside Looking In’ James Ellis is releasing not just one but two new lyric collections. “I had my doubts if I’d even do a collection this year,” he tells Jeff Scott, “but I ended up with more stuff than I knew what to do with.”

IT’S AN UNUSUALLY hot morning in early September, the nation basking in an unexpected heat wave after weeks of unsettled weather. Mercifully though, there’s a cool breeze bringing some slight relief. Caswell Bay, Swansea is brimming with activity, families filling up the beach, dipping in the sea, and across the way car after car arrives in a constant stream. We got here early. We’re sat outside the Surfside Café, queues are building at the nearby ice cream parlour and there’s already bustling going on at the local surf school hut.

I’m sat with here James Ellis, who’s picked this splendid piece of the Gower coast to talk about his two new lyric collections. Yes, that’s two, the first time he’s written more than one in the same year since 2013. “It caught me by surprise,“ he says. As you probably know by this point we’ve done this a fair few times before. You know the story, he finishes a new project, I interview him. It’s worked pretty well since 2012. We’ve talked life, music, his books, his comics, we’ve even collaborated on two volumes of his memoirs, but today, it’s the lyrics again.

It’s been a busy time for both of us lately and unlike our usual meet ups our time today is short. So quickly we get down to business, him with his coke zero, me with a fresh brew. We’ve agreed to dive pretty much straight into the songs albeit this time around we’re doing things a little differently and discussing them in the order they were written.

We begin with the 15 ‘songs’ on the first collection ’We Are Ascending.’

‘DEAR LIFE’

This was the first thing I wrote at the tail end of spring, pretty much in the last days of May. It was written alongside a very early version of ‘Twilight’s Last Stand,’ which was far longer and called ‘Shadowlands’ then.

For this collection I originally had a bunch of lyrical themes I wanted to explore but once ’Dear Life’ was done that idea didn’t work for me anymore.

I guess I felt like I’d explored that way of doing things well enough with ‘On The Outside Looking In’ and going forward I decided I’d let whatever was going to come out just come out and get the hell out of its way.

It’s basically about me writing a letter to life and asking a few questions.

‘BROKEN TEETH’

If anything represents the themes of ‘We Are Ascending’ I think it’s this. What I realised in writing ‘Dear Life’ is that this collection was going to be more about how I see the world, about what’s going on around me, rather than what’s going on inside me. ‘On The Outside …’ was very much an introspective thing and I realised while writing ‘Dear Life’ that I wanted to get away from that way of doing it for a bit. From that point it became very much about the times we’re living in. Once I figured that out I knew I had something I could explore.

I’ve had the first verse since the early part of the ‘Electric Hymns’ sessions, I’ve just struggled to find a good place for it until I realised it was actually an opening verse. Once I figured that out the rest just flowed. It’s pretty much about our current digital age and social media.

‘WE BREATHE/ WE BREATHE ( REPRISE )’

It started out as one song as these things often do, but when I got around to typing it up proper it seemed too long. I liked everything in it though. It had a significant middle section which was what I basically pulled out for the reprise but there were still a few verses that didn’t make it. As it turned out I liked the way having a reprise gave a little more cohesion to the collection, with things echoing a bit.

Both parts are about our relationship with the world around us, how we relate to it in both good and bad ways. They’re about the current not so good path we seem to be on but I made sure it had some hope too.

‘GHOST OF A TOWN’

Written about my hometown. Much I love it, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s become a ruin of its former self. Empty shops, half empty streets, buildings falling apart, it just has a general sense of neglect. It’s not a shit hole by any means, not yet, but it feels like it’s at a point where it could certainly go that way. It’s been one bad local authority decision after another for decades since I was young.

It’s a place with a rich history. It was a brilliant, thriving market town when I was growing up but for reasons I’ll never fathom anything that made it unique or historically interesting has been taken away and its soul has been eroded. I just wanted to capture the feeling I get when I go there now. It’s not a ghost town but there’s a sense of it you can’t deny. People are fighting to keep it alive and I admire that too.

The title popped into my head one day when I was walking through the streets and it kind of perfectly summed up how I felt in that moment.

‘INTERMISSION # 1 & #2’

I wanted two really short pieces, something I hadn’t done for a while. I think the words have a kind of music hall feel to them but I’m no expert on that so I could be wrong. Early on I considered splitting the collection into three parts. When that idea later solidified I thought it might be nice to have these little intermissions, maybe just a verse, to end acts 1 and 2. I basically used the template for Intermission # 1 to write # 2 as I wanted them to be companion pieces.

‘MINISTRY OF LIGHT’

This came out of Intermission # 1 as I was figuring out how that was going to go. There was a bunch of lyrics that didn’t sit right in it but I quite liked and I was pretty sure I could still do something with them.

I have to be honest here and say I’m still not sure what this song is about. I know I wanted to write something that was a kind of hopeful thing, a mantra of sorts, about shining a light on things instead of throwing shadow over them, about veering more to the positive side of things. I wanted a kind of communal feeling to it. I’m not sure I captured what I was after but it‘s still got stuff in it I really like.

‘KING WITHOUT A CROWN’

King Without A crown started out very differently. It sprang from a random few lines I wrote down which went something like ‘You lived your life/ you lived your life so well/ you were a king without a crown.’ It was originally about someone I knew, someone who died suddenly and died far too young, but it wasn’t working, not like I’d hoped it would anyway, and as I rewrote, it became much more of a universal thing. Who knows, I may still get to use those lines one day.

‘A SYMPATHETIC SOUND’

Some of the verses are from the original version of ‘We Are Ascending,’ which I wrote around the same time as ‘Dear Life’ and the original version of ‘Twilight’s Last Stand,’ and quite frankly that version didn’t work. I liked the verses so I kept them until I found a suitable place.

It’s about the daily struggle we all go through in our lives but also about that sense we always feel that things will somehow get better, that sense of hope that we’ll always turn a corner toward something better.

‘WE ARE ASCENDING’

This updated version came directly out of writing ‘A Sympathetic Sound.’ On revisiting the original version of this I realised, in a real light bulb moment, how I could get to the version I’d been trying to write in the first place. Once I’d figured that out the rest of just flowed.

The theme of it came out of ‘A Sympathetic Sound’ too. In a way it feels they’re two halves of the same thing. They’re about the same thing.

‘A NATIONAL ADDRESS’

A bit of a tricky one this. I had no idea how I felt about organised religion or the Church itself until the words hit the page. I have to admit I debated with myself about putting this out into world as I don’t want to offend anyone. Faith is one thing, everyone has faith in something, friends, family, God, we’re spiritual beings at heart, but when a group starts dictating to people how they should live their lives, embrace something they don’t believe in, that’s where I draw a line.

I’m not attacking anyone’s belief system, just how it’s corrupted by certain elements of certain institutions to further their own agenda. It was surprising how fast and how easily it all came together to be honest.

‘ALCHEMY’

Now this came easily and nearly fully formed, unexpectedly so and it’s always nice when that happens as mostly it can be like pulling teeth.

The chorus came first, then a few days later the verses. I already had the ‘beauty in the tragic’ part and that just slotted in really nicely as if it belonged. It’s about how we remember those who’ve gone, about how we deal with that and how we keep their memory alive, for them and us.

‘SWIMMING NOT TO DROWN’

Written in bits and pieces over about a week. It didn’t exactly come in order either, nothing was where I felt it should be and it took a few more days once I had those bits and pieces to figure out how it all fitted.

It was only on putting the finishing touches to it that I realised what it was about. As with a fair few songs in the sessions for ‘We Are Ascending’ it’s about having hope in things, that whatever’s getting us down we’ll get through it by helping ourselves and helping each other.

‘THE CLASS OF 23’

There was going to be a completely different song in the position this takes up in the collection but my nephew was just finishing up in secondary school for good, which of course, is a big moment in his life.

I wanted to mark that somehow and the words just came tumbling out in a few hours. It’s certainly the song that took the least time on this collection, but it felt fully formed as soon as I put the words down.

*

[toastedclownery]

Hey so uh, I finally finished the bit I wanted to write based on this scene by @mintyfrosty!! I changed some things according to my version of them but it’s basically the same Gonna put in under a Read More. TW for anxiety attack and passing out of exhaustion ovo”

He looked at the board in front of him. Hours of work put into it, papers full of notes and reminders, calculations, timetables and floor plans.  And yet, he couldn't remember one thing he had written on it. He couldn't read, couldn't think clearly.

He had to get this heist right. Had to plan out every single detail, every possibility. That's what he was for. Think ahead, be prepared for anything that could go wrong, and create a way to avoid it. He was particularly good at that, it was easy for him to consider different scenarios where things could meet with disaster. However, it came at a cost.

Still staring at the bunch of papers pinned on his wall, he blinked slowly, unable to focus on anything. His mind was tired, and so was body, even if he himself didn't feel it. He took another sip of the cup of coffee he was holding, deciding to push his sleepiness away for one more night.

This one has to be perfect, they couldn't have any more mishaps. Terrence' last raid was the last straw. They had lost too many people to it. There had to be a stop to that de iure leader's wreckless nature. Reg thought if he proposed a calculated enough and totally safe plan, maybe the elites would listen to him. Maybe he could get a seat at their table. Maybe…

His head almost drooped and he quickly had to readjust himself, his eyes now wide open, heavy bags under them. His body was fighting against him. Why? He didn't feel tired. In fact, he wasn't feeling anything at all. He felt fine.

Rising his hand in order to reach for the cup again, he noticed the trembling waves inside the container. His hand was shaking. He frowned, shut his eyes in frustration and downed all the remaining coffee in one go. Two or three seconds later, he realized that might not have been the best idea.

No, it was okay. He didn't need to worry, he was fine. He looked at different points of the board rapidly, trying to take anything in. Nothing went through. His breathing became unsteady, and the corners of his vision were beginning to become blurry and dotted. 

It has to be perfect, he thought.

Realizing he was getting dizzy, he had to remind himself to breathe. He felt like he was choking. Why wasn't he getting any air?

We've lost too many people already, were the repeating thoughts drumming in his mind.

He was too out of it to notice his hand had given out, dropping the ceramic cup and letting it shatter. Startled by the loud noise, he tried taking a step back, only to notice his legs had turned wobbly, barely keeping him on his feet.

With one last glance at the board, all the papers were now a mess of smears and black spots. The room started tilting… and tilting… He was out before he even hit the floor.

Night patrol. It had to be night patrol. He would have preferred to have some rest tonight, but he had to be chosen for taking a walk around the base at ungodly hours of the night. He would have complained, but knew he couldn't speak against the Chief. He went along with it, knowing nobody else would do it anyway. Right thought Terrence usually cut the other elites too short, himself included. He felt like he could do more than just night patrol, but on second thought, he was the one that fit best for the job.

He was passing through the corridors, reaching a series of doors that led to the Toppat members' rooms. Unlike his fellow elite's bedrooms, these were smaller and had thinner walls. He remembered the time he had to sleep in one of those rooms. It was nearly impossible, any noise was able to get through those walls made of cardboard.

Just thinking about it made him tired. He was about to let out a yawn, but was stopped by a loud noise coming from one of the dorms ahead. It sounded like a glass-shattering noise, followed by a light thud. 

He saw a stream of light under one of the doors. Who in their right mind was still awake at this late hour of the night? He looked at the name on the door. "R. Copperbottom" It read. That name was familiar. He gave the door a couple of knocks.

"Oi, is everything alright in there?"

He waited about ten seconds, no response.

"Can I get in?" 

Again, silence. 

Right opened the door and stepped into the room. He didn't know what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn't a collapsed man in the middle of the floor. He cursed under his breath and went to check if he was okay. 

He gently turned him to face upward. He drew a few hairs back and was able to see his face. And then he recognized him. The smooth mane of hair that was usually collected in a ponytail was now a frizzy mess of ties and knots. There was also his familiar curled mustache, which seemed to get the same treatment, and a pair of dark circles around his eyes. 

He knew this one. He hadn’t spent that much time in the Clan, yet he had jumped up the ranks in no time. He ascended to his current position much faster than he had seen anyone do it in his time as an elite. There was a reason for that. The guy was a working machine. 

Ever since the day he was recruited, he would show interest in what the Clan’s next big heist was going to be. Even if he wasn’t part of it. Right had started to see his face more often around the higher positions. He shone with curiosity and initiative when robbery plans were finally handed to him for the first time, adding thousands of tweaks and details that would stun the field operatives. He would go on his way to arrange every minute of a heist, and then proceed to explain each new bit to his superiors. 

Needless to say they were surprised with this new guy appearing out of nowhere and before they knew it he was suddenly giving them lectures like a teacher rants to a bunch of toddlers. If he was met with any kind of criticism, he would come back the very next day with a new refined version of the plan. The team of elites were intrigued, they shared their recognition of his potential, whereas the Chief… Would usually butt heads with him. 

"I think you worry too much, pipsqueak" 

Right hated to agree on that, currently looking at said pipsqueak laying on the floor, most likely passed out from exhaustion. He doubted he got enough sleep when making all those schemes, and the scene before him proved his theory to be correct. 

He examined the room. Next to the unconscious prodigy were broken pieces of a ceramic mug. He must have dropped it before falling along with it. His hat was still on his head but tipped to the side. In front of them was a wide corkboard, filled with papers and post-its hung on it left, right and center. Right blinked twice before regaining his focus on the other man. 

"Hey, Reginald? Can you hear me?"

He shook him by the shoulders a little bit. Maybe he would be able to wake up momentarily so he could go to bed on his own. Seeing how that wasn't the case, he sighed, and decided to do it himself. 

He drew the bed sheets back, scooped him up carefully and held him in some kind of bridal style, his head resting on his shoulder. He was light as a feather, so he was pretty easy to carry around. The smallest yelp came out of Reg’s mouth at the feeling of being picked up, but he relaxed again when leaning on Right's chest. Right slowly put him down on the bed and tucked him in. 

It was weird, seeing him like this. The only times he would see him were quickly running through the corridors or giving his presentations on schemes. Always full of energy and enthusiasm. Right noticed a certain spark in his eyes when he talked. He noticed the way he would smile while telling his favorite parts of a plan. How he would sometimes motion rapidly while nervously rambling things under his breath. Now, he was laying limp on the bed, looking a mess, a strong fatigue visible on his features. Right chuckled. He would not want to be seen like this. Suddenly, he blinked, and found himself sitting on the side of the bed, hypnotized by the rhythmic breath of his sleep longer than he would have liked to admit. 

He shook his head and got up. He had completely forgotten about the ceramic shards still on the floor. He picked the broken pieces one by one. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be a lot of small bits, just five big shapes that fit neatly like a puzzle. He chose not to throw them away, thinking of putting them back together if possible. He grabbed the dark gray fedora that had rolled off his head and left it on the bedside table. 

He saw an alarm clock, set to chime three hours from now. He turned it off. There was no way he was gonna let him sleep so little. He would let him sleep in, have the day off. He could make up something not to make the others suspicious. He’d ask him about that jungle of papers another time. He needed rest now. 

He turned off the lights and shut the door, the pieces of the coffee cup still in his right hand.