#this isn't a new problem but im. squints

[sillyabtmusic]

bae173 so called "mini album" is only three tracks ....... okay .......

[shyxcherry]

a little jealousy | keeho

summary: after having your heart broken by your ex fwb that you caught feelings for, your best friend convinces you to venture out and date again. too bad your ex fwb wont let you.

pairing: keeho x reader

genre/warning: fwb to lovers, fluff, smut (oral (female receiving), handjob, p in v, unprotected sex, lots of dirty talk from keeho), a little bit of angst if you squint, reader has social anxiety and has a panic attack, keeho is a little bit of an asshole in the beginning, he also calls reader baby a lot, drinking and partying, one stupid drunk guy

word count: 6.8k

note: my first p1harmony fic! with my bias of course. i also tried something new and added texts in with the story, and i kind of like it.

"come on (y/n). it'll be fun."

you look over at your room mate yunjin as she prances around your shared living room. she had just gotten back from her shift at the cafe on campus where she found out that there was a party on friday and she wanted to go. she was trying to convince you to go, but so far she hadn't had any luck.

it wasn't that you didn't like to party. being friends with yunjin, you found yourself going to more parties than you ever thought possible. you were just having issues doing anything social as of late, specifically partying. especially since partying is what got you into your mess.

"about as fun as me slamming my head into a wall."

"babe. as your best friend, i mean this with the most respect, you need to get over keeho."

you glare at her as she mentions his name. yoon keeho. your good friend turned fwb. it happened at a party three months ago. the two of you got too drunk and slept together. except instead of pretending it never happened, you two instead decided to keep it going. without the relationship that is.

it was keeho's idea. no strings attached. no feelings. which exactly what you thought you needed. that was until the lines became a little too blurred for you. you stopped seeing him as your friend. obviously he didn't feel the same way when you told him this, which you completely expected. but it hurt you all the same. and here you were two weeks later wishing the last three months never happened.

"im working on it." you snap, throwing your phone next to you and ignoring the message that came from mark.

yunjin was the one who convinced you to start talking with him. he was sweet and treated you well enough. even when you said you weren't looking for anything relationship wise at the moment. the only problem is he wasn't keeho. you wanted to slap yourself for thinking that.

"i know, babes." she sits next to you on the couch. "i think this may help though."

"you said that theo is throwing it." you deadpan. he was one of keeho's best friends.

"and what better way to prove that you've moved on then by going to his party." she told you. "you could also invite mark."

you met her gaze before letting out a sigh. you knew that she had a point. you needed to get over him because you know that he isn't interested in dating. he's only told you that a million times. it was your fault you didn't listen.

"fine." you jump when yunjin screams in excitement. "but you're buying me food after."

"deal."

"are you sure mark doesn't mind me riding with you two?"

you roll your eyes as you finish applying you lip gloss. you shove it into the pocket because your too lazy to carry a bag before turning to yunjin. she was laying on your bed scrolling through her phone. she had already finished getting ready and was just waiting on you.

"jin, he's the one that offered you a ride. of course he's okay with it."

before she could respond to you, your phone dinged from the night stand. you reach over and grab it to reveal a message from mark.

"he's downstairs."

you do one last once over of yourself before you head out of your room. yunjin locked the apartment before you two headed downstairs.

"i can't wait to see that asshole's reaction to you. maybe he'll realize what an idiot he is."

you look down at your outfit. you were wearing a short jean skirt along with a black tube top that exposed your stomach. you also had a gold body chain across your stomach. yunjin picked out the outfit- not that you minded. you were just scared you were showing too much skin.

"it's not to much, is it?"

"it's just enough." she answered immediately. "you look so good. you're lucky i don't swing the other way."

"shut up." you laugh as you two exit the building. you notice mark standing next to his car. you walk up first, smiling in greeting.

"ladies." he greets with a smile. "you chariot awaits."

yunjin gets in the back seat once she's close enough. you make your way to mark who was in front of the passenger's side. you tried not to stiffen when he pulled you into a friendly hug.

"you look amazing." mark tells you as you pull away.

"thank you. you do as well."

mark opens the door, allowing you to get into the car. the three of you chat as he drives you guys to the party at theo's place. well, it was more like his parent's place that theo uses for parties when they're not renting it out.

by the time you got there, the party was in full swing. cars lined the street as music came from the house. you got out of the car right as yunjin walked over to you.

"im going to split up so you can have fun with mark." she wiggled her eyebrows at you. "text me if you need me."

mark moved next to your side as yunjin disappeared into the crowd. he did tell you that his friends were here as well, so he lead you that direction. of course stopping to get the two of you drinks first. you found his friends in the living room sitting on the couches. mark introduced you to them as you sat next to him. he didn't waste any time throwing his arm around your shoulder.

you listened to them talk, inputting when you wanted to. they were all nice enough, but your thoughts drifted to keeho's friends. you had gotten used to hanging around them, and these guys didn't feel the same. but you doubt that any of his friends wanted to hang out with you anymore now that you and keeho weren't on talking terms.

you felt you phone buzz in your pocket causing you to shift in your seat. you pull out your phone thinking that yunjin was messaging you but to your surprise it wasn't her. it was in fact someone you never thought you would message again.

we'll see about that? what the hell was that supposed to mean. you look around, trying to see if you could find keeho or any of his friends. you frown when you didn't see anyone.

you also couldn't understand why he was messaging you about that. he was the one who ended things, not you. so why he was messaging you was a complete mystery.

you roll your eyes, choosing to not let it bother you. you put your phone back in your pocket before turning back to the conversation. that was until you noticed that your drink was empty. you told mark you were going to fix you another one.

you pushed past the many bodies as you make your way to the kitchen. thankfully, its not as busy as the rest of the house. you fix your drink before taking a breath of relief. even after all of these parties, you still never got used to them. you started out fine, but eventually your anxiety would start messing with you. normally, you would have yunjin, or keeho, to help you. but you didn't know where yunjin was, and you weren't talking to keeho.

all of a sudden, an arm wrapped around you- effectively scaring you. you jumped before turning, meeting a pair of warm brown eyes. the eyes of the man you were trying, and failing, to forget.

"miss me?"

"get off of me." you shrug his arm off before stepping away from him. you took a quick second to look him over, and god if he didn't look even better than he did the last time you saw him. he also wore the same smirk that he almost always had when he was with you.

"don't be like that, baby." you glare at the sweet tone of his voice.

"don't be like what?" you questioned. "i'm just following your request. what was it? oh right. stay away from you."

you watch as keeho too a deep sigh, and if you didn't know any better, you saw regret sweep past his emotions. but before he could say anything, someone calling your name got your attention. you turn to see mark making his way towards you, saving you from having to deal with keeho any longer.

you turned away as mark greeted keeho, so you missed the clench of keeho's jaw when mark's eyes were off of him. or the way that his eyes tracked mark's every movement, especially when mark got close to you. you only turned back when mark stood next to you, his hand on you lower back as he bent down to speak to you.

"yunjin was looking for you. she wanted to see if you were ready to go."

you nodded, turning away without giving keeho a second glance. "let's go. i'm hungry anyway."

you let out a tired sigh, pushing your hair back behind your ears as you continued to stock the shelves of the grocery store you work at. you made sure your headphone was hidden, the low music soothing you as you did your job.

you pass a glance at your phone, seeing that your shift was almost over. only thirty more minutes. you bend back down to grab more product when you heard someone walk up behind you.

you stiffened, knowing it was probably a customer looking for something. you turned with a small smile, but quickly dropped it when you found keeho standing in front of you. it had been nearly two weeks since you last talked to him.

"what the hell do you want?"

keeho's jaw dropped in mock shock. "now, that isn't any way to talk to a paying customer."

"paying customer, my ass." you scoff before turning back to your work. you thought he would leave since you were clearly ignoring him, but he continued to stand there. you let out a huff of air as you turned back towards him. "can i help you? or are you just trying to make me smack you with a can of peas?"

"you still get off in thirty minutes?" keeho asked.

"what's it to you?" you ask, hating that he still had your schedule memorized.

keeho turned before starting to walk away. you thought he was going to ignore your question, but he looked back over his shoulder with a smile. "i'll see you when you get off."

you roll your eyes as you watched his retreating figure before going back to work. for someone who told you to leave him alone, he sure did a shit job with following that.

you finished unpacking the box you were working on before going to clock out. you go over to your locker, opening it and throwing in your badge before putting on your hoodie. you grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulders before leaving the break room.

you nodded your head to some of the workers as you left. you didn't see any sign of keeho, so you assumed he left. that was until he showed up right in front of you, nearly making you run into him.

"are you hungry?" he asked, looking down at you.

"no." you lied. keeho scoffed at your answer.

"liar." he accused. "i know you don't eat before your shifts because coming makes you nervous, and it makes you sick if you eat before."

you stood there for a moment just staring at him. you didn't understand how he knew all of these things about you. it's not like you ever told him, or anyone else for that matter, what he just told you.

"come on." he grabbed your hand, pulling you to walk next to him. "there's this really good food truck a few blocks from here. they have great tacos."

you were quiet, allowing him to pull you along with him. you don't know why you were entertaining him. maybe you just enjoyed hurting yourself making yourself spend time with someone your completely in love with- someone who also doesn't want you.

once the two of you got to the small park, keeho led you to the sitting area. he made you sit down before he went to get you two some food. he didn't even ask what you wanted, and you had the feeling that was because he knew exactly what you wanted.

you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. you pull it out to see a text from yunjin.

you put your phone down when you heard keeho walk up to you. he set down two sets of boxes along with some drinks. you quietly thanked him as the two of you started to eat. and of course, he got you exactly what you would've gotten yourself.

"so, not that i'm complaining, because i absolutely am." keeho chuckled at your words. "but why am i here?"

"i can't come and check on you?" he asked.

you swallowed your food before looking at him. "you already know the answer to that."

"i'm not going to lie." keeho started. "i acted like an asshole."

"at least you're a self aware asshole."

"i shouldn't have acted like that. i know an apology doesn't mean much to you, but i am sorry. and i would like to try to make it up to you." you finally met keeho's gaze. you saw the regret that you saw at the party, but this time it didn't go away.

"how do you plan on making it up to me?" you ask.

"by being the best damn friend you ever had." he answered. you felt your heart drop at his answer, but you tried to not let it affect you. the quicker you learned that he doesn't feel the same, the better. "by the time i'm done, you'll be begging me to be your best friend instead of yunjin."

"i'm gonna tell her you said that."

"please don't." for the first time, you laugh at him. he held out his hand for you to shake. "so, what do you say? friends?"

you look at him for a moment before shrugging. you shake his hands. "friends, but i'm not going to make it easy. i'm hard to please."

"i won't let you down. not again."

the next time you saw keeho was at another party later that week, except it was him who brought you this time. this was only after him begging you for the past few days. the two of you started texting again, and as much as you hated to admit, you missed messaging him. before he was you fwb, he was a good friend to you over the past year. you missed his silly texts at weird hours.

currently, you along with keeho, yunjin, and theo were in the kitchen. you were perched on the counter, drink in hand while you and keeho watch yunjin and theo argue about which horror movie is the best.

"everyone knows that the exorcist is a classic." yunjin argues, slinging her arm causing alcohol to sling out of her cup.

"it's a shitty classic is what it is." theo tells her which causes her to let out a loud gasp. you let out a chuckle as you take a sip of your drink. keeho moves over, draping his arm over your legs so they weren't as exposed.

suddenly, yunjin turns her attention to the two of you. "what do you two think?"

"my favorite is nightmare on elm street." you answer first.

"of course you think a killer with kitchen knives and a christmas sweater is good." keeho spoke up. "you have horrible taste in movies."

"i do not." you argue, pushing him away from you. that didn't last long as keeho moved back to the same position he was before. "its fucking better than friday the 13th."

"apologize to me. right now." you laughed at his behavior.

you quickly turn back to yunjin and theo as they continued their argument. you met yujnin's gaze for a moment. you gave her a small nod, not forgetting your previous conversation.

she expressed a couple of times how worried she was that you were back to being his friend knowing that you still had feelings for him. you understood where she was coming from, but you still reassured her that you would be okay. that was until she asked you one question that you didn't answer. if he said he had feelings for you, would you choose to be with him.

you didn't need to answer her because the both of you already knew the answer- yes.

you shifted your weight, moving away from keeho before jumping off the counter. "i have to use the bathroom."

once keeho gave you a nod, he took your drink before you left the group. you made your way upstairs to where theo's locked room was. all of you knew the code, so you all could use his bathroom which was a lot cleaner than the one downstairs. you had just turned the corner when you ran into someone.

"i'm sorry." you apologize, looking over the man you didn't know. you figured he was a student and moved to go around him, but he moved to block you from moving down the hallway.

"what's a pretty little thing like yourself doing all alone?" you rolled your eyes at the stupid question.

"ignoring idiots like you. now move." you were able to move around him, but he moved to grab your wrist.

you turned to look at him with a look of anger. anger that was quickly turning into fear. there wasn't anyone around you on the second floor, and this guy was easily twice your weight. you knew he was probably harmless. just a drunk guy wanting to have some fun. but your mind kept going to the worst possible scenario like it normally does is causing you to panic.

"let me go."

"what's in it for me?" he asked with a smile. you opened your mouth to answer him, but your voice got caught in your throat. instead you tried to pull away from him again, but his grip tightened. "don't be like that."

you felt yourself panic even more. you didn't know what to do. you couldn't scream. no one would hear you with the music blasting from downstairs. you felt trapped. that was before your wrist was snatched away from his grip.

you watch in shock as keeho pushed the guy up against the wall. "do we have a problem here?"

"n-no." the guy stuttered, blinking quickly as he sobered up. "we were just talking."

keeho met your gaze. tears threatened to fall as your breathing sped up. he could tell that you were moments away from having a panic attack. he looked back to the guy.

"don't ever go near my girl again."

"okay. i'm sorry." keeho let him go, watching as he stumbled away before he turned back to you.

he immediately pulled you into his arms as he led you towards theo's room. he helped you sit down on the bed before he knelt in front of you. he had helped you through a couple of these, so he was familiar with helping you.

he gently grabbed your face, causing you to meet his gaze. he spoke slow and clearly, so you could understand him. "you're okay. nothing's going to happen to you now that i'm hear, okay?"

you let out a choked sob as you nodded. you burried your head in his neck as he pulled you into his arms. his hand running soothing circles as he tried to calm you down.

"i'm sorry."

"don't apologize, baby." he whispered. "i'm hear for you. i'm not going anywhere."

you don't know how long the two of you were like that, but once you calmed down mostly, you realized the position keeho was in. "you can't be comfortable like this."

"all i care about is your comfort." he answered.

you blushed at his comment before you pulled away from him. you wipe at your face as you avoid eye contact with him. that felt different than the other times he help you. normally, he would just sit next to you, rubbing your back. but this time, he held you. he's never done that, and you didn't know how you felt about that. it also didn't help that the air between the two of you felt different- heavier.

keeho stood up, going to the bathroom to get you some water. he sat next to you as you drank the entire glass. he waited until you were done before talking to you. "are you okay?"

you nod your head, not trusting your voice. you were still shaking, but it was starting to go away. all that was left was embarrassment and exhaustion.

"do you want me to take you home?"

"please."

he pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to yunjin before standing up. he helped you up, holding you as you were a little unsteady. that was when he bent down, allowing you to jump on his back, so he could carry you out of the house. you did as he said, jumping onto his back and hiding your face in his shoulder.

he carried you out of the house and to his car. he helped you in, even going as far as buckling your seatbelt before getting into the driver's side. the two of you drove to your place in a peaceful quiet, the only noise was the radio softly playing.

once he parked, you moved to get out of the car, but keeho stopped you. he walked over to your side, placing his arms under your knees and behind your back before lifting you up. you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to ignore the blush climbing up your neck.

"kee, i'm okay to walk."

"i know you are." he told you. "but i'm still going to take care of you."

he carried you up to your apartment, taking the key from you and unlocking the door. he walked you to your room, skipping the bed and bringing you to the bathroom. he sat you down on the counter before standing in front of you.

"take off your makeup while i get you some clothes, okay." you nodded your head, watching as he walked off before getting off of the counter.

while you wiped off your makeup, you tried to wrap your head around what all of this meant. you didn't understand what keeho was trying to do. he's never done this before, even when you were fwb. you just hoped that he was doing this because he wanted to, and because he felt like he had to.

keeho stuck his head in silently, handing you the clothes before leaving you again. not bothering to shut the door, you quickly changed into the small shorts and oversized shirt before stepping out of the bathroom.

keeho wasn't in your room, but you could hear him in the kitchen, so you knew he was still here. you pulled back the covers of you bed before slipping in. it wasn't long before keeho came back in your room with a glass of water and your medication that you take for your anxiety.

"thank you for doing this." you mumbled as you took your medication.

"you don't have to thank me." he told you, running his hand through your hair. "is there anything else you need?"

"can you stay the night?" you ask before you could think about it, but before you could take it back, he nodded his head.

"of course."

he got off the bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead before moving over to your closet where he knew you still had some of his clothes. you laid down, turning your back while he got changed. the light turned off before he moved to lay next to you.

and just like every other time he's spent the night, his arm wrapped around you before pulling you into him. your back pressed against his front as his leg was tucked between yours. his face is pressed against your neck as his arm moves up, resting his hand on your chest.

"why do you do that?" you ask quietly.

"do what baby?"

"your arm." you clarify. "why do you put it there?"

keeho was quiet for a moment, leading you to think he wouldn't answer, but his answer came a moment later. "so i can feel your heartbeat and make sure you don't have a panic attack."

you felt all air leave your lungs at his answer. the man clinging to you continues to confuse you the more the night goes on. you couldn't help the next statement that came out of your mouth. "and you say you don't have feelings for me."

"i lied about that." you open your eyes at his confession.

"i'm sorry- what?"

"i was scared." he admitted, holding you tighter in his arms, so you couldn't turn to look at him. "you know me. i don't commit. i never have. i thought when i set up the rules, everything would be fine. and then came the moments like this, where you slept in my arms, and i could imagine you never leaving. i felt on edge when you weren't with me because what if you had a panic attack, and i wasn't around to help you. i found myself falling for you, and it scared the hell out of me. so i pushed you away and ran."

you kept quiet with your thoughts as his words sank in. you never thought that he was running from his feelings, just that he didn't have any towards you romantically. all of the things you two did while you were fwb, you thought were normal. all of the things you questioned while you were together finally made sense.

"so, yunjin was right." you mumbled. "you were jealous at that party, weren't you?"

keeho huffed. "of course i was. i was scared that he was going to take you away from me. and that fear turned into jealousy and me trying to run mark off."

you finally shifted, turning to lay on your other side, so you could finally look at him. it was dark, but you could still see part of his face. that part that was very clearly blushing. "is that why he ghosted me? i saw him the other day, and he practically ran in the opposite direction."

"maybe." he answered you making you laugh.

"you are such an ass, you know that?"

"didn't stop you for falling for me though, did it." you roll your eyes at his answer. you almost didn't answer him.

"no it didn't. though i'm still mad you lied to me."

he moved closer to you. close enough to where you could feel his breath as he cupped your face in his hand. "i'm sorry baby. i know i'm an idiot and don't deserve a second chance, but i am asking for one."

you staying quiet for a minute. you wanted to make him wait, just like he did to you. you didn't need to think about it. you knew what you wanted, and it was him.

instead of answering him, you moved forward, pressing your lips to his. he froze for a moment before responding, pulling you closer to him. this kiss was different than the other ones you two shared. it was full of the emotions that the two of you tried to hide.

"please tell me that's a yes." keeho pleaded as he pulled away from you.

you nodded your head, lips brushing against his. "you better not fuck it up this time."

"never." he promised, kissing you once again. this one was more laid back than the first one. his hand was running along your thigh that was now draped over him. your hands gripping his shirt as your lips lazily moved with his.

keeho's hand trailed higher up your leg, brushing against your shorts before gripping your waist and pulling you closer to him. with you now flush against him, you could feel his hardened erection brush against your thigh. keeho moved away from your lips, trailing kisses down your neck.

"i've missed this. missed you." you heard him mumble as he continued to kiss your neck. "i missed you laugh. your smile. the way i could be myself around you without any judgement. but do you know what i missed the most?"

"what?" you asked, brushing the hair that fell in his face away. you met his eyes as he pulled back to look at you. you didn't fail to notice the smile on his face.

"the sounds you make when i touch you."

to prove his point, he moved forward, biting your neck where it met your shoulder. not hard enough to hurt but enough to shock you. you let out a gasp as shifted, pushing you on your back before he settled between your legs. his lips stayed attached to your neck, no doubt leaving a dark bruise. you shifted your hips as you wrap your legs around his waist, causing you to grind against him. he bit you harder making you moan in response.

"see?" he asked with a chuckle as he pulled away to look at you with dark eyes. "my baby is so responsive to me. i wonder how loud you'll get for me tonight."

he pulled away from you. his hands next to your hips on the bed while he shifted down your body. his hands toyed with the edge of your shirt before pulling it up, revealing your stomach to him. he bent down, kissing along your stomach as he made his way tortiously slow towards your chest.

"tell me baby. did you miss my touch as well?"

you lifted your head to look at him. his chin rested on your stomach as he awaited your response. "i missed everything, kee."

you thought that keeho would continue to kiss up your body, but he didn't. instead, he moved up and kissed your lips. his hands cupped your cheeks as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

"i'm going to make up for everything. i promise." he whispered as he pulled away.

he tugged on your shirt causing you to sit up. his lips found yours as soon as he took off your shirt. his hands ghosted up your sides until they reached your breast. you let out a gasp into the kiss as he squeezed your breast. you felt him smile as he pulled away from you.

he shifted back down to where he was at your chest. he started out kissing and marking your chest before he placed one of your nipples in his mouth. your hands went to the back of his neck as he sucked on your nipple. his other hand sought out the other one, making you hiss as he twisted it.

"my sweet girl." he mumbled as he moved to your other breast.

as he attacked your chest, you failed to notice his other hand moving down your body. it wasn't until his hand slipping through the front of your shorts that you noticed. his fingers teased your clit making you whine in impatience. you heard him chuckle, but he did give you what you wanted. he pressed down on you clit making you sigh in relief.

that relief was short lived once he pulled away from your breast. he removed his hand from your shorts before tapping your hips. "lift your hips for me."

you did as he said, lifting your hips so he could slide the rest of your clothes off, leaving you completely bare under him. you didn't find it fair that he was still fully clothed, so you opened your mouth to say something when keeho took his shirt of, somehow know what you wanted.

once his shirt was off, he continued to make his way down your body. a brief thought occurred when he kept marking you was that you were going to be completely covered tomorrow in bruises. that thought flew out of your head once he placed a kiss right above where you wanted him most.

"do you know how many times over the past few weeks i thought about this?" keeho questioned as his fingers trailed up your thighs.

"probably just as much as i've thought about it." you answer. keeho smiled at your answer since he knows that you missed him just as much as he missed you. and as much as he loved to tease you, he couldn't handle doing that tonight.

he gave your thigh a squeeze before he licked a long strip up your heat, making you jump. he placed a kiss on your clit before wrapping his lips around it, sucking harshly. you let out a moan at the action, rolling your hips up before he placed his palm on your stomach and holding you down.

you felt his finger tease your entrance causing you let out a whine. he chuckled at you before sliding his finger in. he quickly added a second as he started pumping them, curling them every so often while he watched you unravel. you had your eyes shut as you lost yourself in his touch. one hand was gripping the sheets beneath you while the other one was tangled in his hair.

"fuck keeho." you cursed as he added a third finger.

"you taste so good baby." he praised as his hand increased in speed. he was rewarded by his name coming out of your mouth in a sweet moan. "and all mine. isn't that right?"

"a-all yours." you stuttered, crying out when his lips reattached to your clit. you felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm in your stomach. keeho could also tell too since your sounds were getting louder.

"are you close, my baby?" he questioned tauntingly. "are you going to make a mess all over my fingers like a good girl? and let everyone know who's making you feel this good?"

he was answered by a loud moan coming from you as your orgasm washed over you. his fingers slowed down, but keep moving as you rode out your orgasm. keeho kept his eye on you, watching you closely as you tried to catch your breath.

he slowly removed his fingers before sticking them in his mouth, sucking them clean. your eyes met his as you watched him just as intently as he was watching you. once he was done, he crawled back up your body. as soon as he was close enough, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips to yours. he groaned into the kiss as his bare chest pressed against yours. his tongue slide past your lips, brushing against yours.

your hands moved from the back of his neck before trailing down his body, loving the feeling of his body beneath your fingertips. he stuttered as you hand cupped his erection over his sweats before squeezing. you didn't waste any time slipping your hand into them and wrapped your hand around him.

his lips broke from yours as you stroked him. his head fell to your shoulder, and you took the opportunity to give him a matching bruise on his neck like he did to you. he let out a groan as you squeezed him again as you other hand wrapped around to his back, pulling him closer to you as you continued your assault on his neck.

"fuck baby." keeho groaned, grabbing your wrist to stop you before pulling it out of his sweats. "you gotta stop, or i'm going to cum."

"and that's such a bad thing?" you raise your eyebrow at him.

"it is when i have even been inside you yet." he argues, pouting when you laugh at him. it was your turn to grab his cheeks. you pulled him into a kiss that caused him to almost melt into you. you tugged on the hem of his sweats making him pull away from you.

"i need you, kee." you whisper against his lips.

"fuck." he cursed, moving to pull down his sweats. "i need you too. are you still on birth control?"

"yes." you answer as he settles back between your legs. he grabs a pillow, placing it under your hips to make it more comfortable for you. your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you.

"are you ready?"

you nod. "please."

keeho lined up with your entrance, pushing in slowly. the two of you sigh of relief as he fills you completely. his hips meet yours before he stops, giving you time to adjust to him. he presses his lips all over your face while he compliments you.

"my perfect girl." he coos while he brushes your hair out of your face. "you take me so well, don't you? you fit around me like you were made for me."

you responded with a squeeze to his shoulder, signaling that he could move. he moved his hips, moving almost all the way out before thrusting his hips forward. he starts out slow, teasing you some until you whine for him to speed up.

you let out a moan as his hips snap into yours. "is that what you want baby? for me to let everyone know who this pussy belongs to?"

"yes." you moan as you dig your nails into his back, drawing a groan from him as well. after a particularly harsh thrust, you squeeze around him as you let out another moan.

"my dirty girl." he smiles down at you. "just milking me for everything i have. take it. take it all, baby."

he more he watched you, the closer he felt himself to his climax. he moved his hand down your body to where you were joined before rubbing your oversensitive clit. you let out a loud moan which keeho cut off with his lips. the way you kept squeezing him over and over were driving him mad.

"fuck." you moan when he lets your lips go. "i- i'm close, kee."

"i know baby. i am too."

after a few more thrusts, he watches you fall over the edge again. a sight he will never get tired of. he helped you through your orgasm before he let himself go. his lips met yours as he rode out his orgasm. after a few thrusts, he pulled out of you, nearly collapsing on top of you.

your forehead touched as the two of you caught your breathes. he pulls away first, pressing kiss to your forehead. "you did so good for me. perfect as always."

after he recovered, he pulled away from you before moving to help clean you up and get you dressed again. once you were dressed and comfortable, he did the same before going back to bed. as soon as he laid down, you moved over, laying your head on his chest. his arm draped over your shoulder, moving to play with your hair.

"i think the entire neighboorhood knows who you belongs to now." keeho said before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. you let out an embarrassed laugh as he pinched his side as you mumbled a small 'shut up.'

a knocking at your door had both of you looking over at it. you then heard the muffle voice of yunjn. "that's an understatement. next time you two argue, please make up at your place."

your face reddened as you hid it in keeho's neck. you heard him chuckle before responding. "sorry."

"no you're not." she yelled as you heard her disappear back to her room.

"she's not wrong." you pulled away from his neck to look up at him. "i couldn't help myself though. never can with you."

you roll your eyes before you press a kiss to his jaw. "man, you must love me or something."

"i do." keeho said making you freeze. you met his gaze as he pulled you in closer to him. "you don't have to say it back because i know i don't deserve it yet, but i do love you. and i will keep working and do whatever it takes for you to trust me enough to say it back, okay?"

you nodded your head, appreciative that he wasn't going to make you say it. you knew that you did love him back. but like he said, you were still weary of trusting him because of last time. but he was a man of his word, and you knew he wouldn't stop until you trusted him with every fiber of your being. and you were okay with that.

"okay."

[bytemee]

chapter three. | WHERE DO YOU SLEEP? — YU JIMIN.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — y/n, a rising music producer, has built her dream career while keeping her personal life under wraps. karina, aespa’s leader, is preparing for a huge comeback with a mini album produced and written by the one and only y/n.

karina knows this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and she has to nail it. the only problem is, she may be a bit distracted by her producer.

something about their connection feels different—like maybe it's worth the risk of prying eyes. but how much will they give up to chase after what they want?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — includes texts, fluffy, tiny time skip, suggestive jokes aha, and i think that's all.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 2.5k

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲— tiktok is down so now im forced to stop procrastinating and update this series

taglist (open) — @sunshinez4 @gtfoiydlyj @yuyuy90 @liaponderstings @rinapomu

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next. extra content.

"when are you gonna teach me the choreography for your solo?" you mutter, breaking the silence between you and jimin. yes, that's correct. jimin. she basically began forcing you to call her by her first name barely two hours after you'd agreed to start over.

she doesn't reply right away. instead, she lets out a faint, breathless laugh, the kind that sounds half-conscious, as if her mind isn't fully caught up with her body. you glance at your phone and notice her eyebrows knit together, her eyes fluttering slightly as she fights to stay present. through the camera, your eyes meet, and for a moment, it's like she's trying to focus on you but can't quite manage it.

"sorry," she apologizes, a shy smile on her face. "i'm listening."

you take in a deep breath, plopping your head back against the headboard of your hotel room bed. "mhm," you reply, a small smile forming on your own lips. it was getting late; you can't blame her if she's a little sleepy.

"so, when are you gonna teach me the choreography?" you repeat, this time a bit slower.

she giggles. "i can't right now."

"why not?"

"because i'm in my underwear."

let's backtrack.

after meeting with jimin, aeri, minjeong, and yizhuo (yes, you're also on a first-name basis with them) for dinner, you and jimin exchanged the correct numbers (after checking five times to make sure you put the right number in).

you and she have been texting each other since and have met in person on numerous different occasions, whether that be because smtown called you both in to finalize the lyrics and final ideas or if it was to simply hang out.

jimin's solo is coming along nicely, and she's been working hard to get it perfect. she's so passionate and driven, and she's always ready to try new things. and even though she's a professional, you can tell she gets nervous sometimes, which is understandable. it's not an easy job, and these past two months have been hectic for everyone.

she didn't even officially record the demo yet that she, you, and her entire team worked on. but the day was coming, and it was coming fast.

"i didn't need to know that," you laugh, rubbing the tiredness from your eyes.

she laughs, the sound muffled by her hand. "i'll teach you next time, okay?"

"i'll hold you to that," you say, pointing at the camera with mock seriousness, though the grin on your face betrays you.

jimin leans closer to her phone, squinting as if trying to look more intimidating. "you think you can handle it?" she teases, raising an eyebrow.

"please," you scoff, reclining further into the pillows. "i have rhythm, you know. don't act like you haven't seen my moves."

she has indeed "seen your moves" because she loved your music, as she admitted to you the first time you met. so, she's seen your music videos, performances, and a couple of interviews. you were great at what you did—music, interacting with fans, and just being... yourself.

it was confusing why you were producing and writing songs for other artists instead of focusing on your own music career.

"your dance moves aren't half bad," she concedes.

"half bad?" you repeat, pretending to be offended. "my dancing is better than half bad."

"really? then show me," she says, her tone daring.

"i'm in my underwear." you playfully mock her earlier statement, your eyes locking on the front camera. she's still in the frame, her head resting against the palm of her hand, the phone propped up against a pillow on the bed.

"so?"

this girl.

you narrow your eyes at the screen, trying not to laugh. "so? what do you mean, so? the hell?"

jimin laughs loudly at the pure shock in your voice, so loudly that she moves out of the camera's view to cover her mouth, trying to keep it down so as not to wake up her roommates.

when she reappears, she's still covering her mouth, and her eyes are watering with unshed tears.

"what?" you laugh, and she shakes her head, lowering her hand and waving it in dismissal.

"nothing, nothing. i just like teasing you," she says, a smile spreading across her face.

"and why is that?"

"because you make it so easy," she replies, and you roll your eyes, not able to contain the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"you should sleep," you whisper; it kind of feels like you didn't want to say the words that had left your lips. it was nice being here with her, even if it was just on a video call. it was almost like you didn't want the night to end, but you had both been up for a while now, and the fatigue was setting in.

"i don't want to," she says softly, her voice sounding more vulnerable than usual. "not yet."

you watch her, and she looks away from the camera, biting her lip. a few moments pass in silence, and then you speak, breaking the quiet. "me neither. but i don't want you to be tired when you wake up tomorrow."

"my schedule's free tomorrow," she says, turning back to face the camera.

"mine too," you respond.

another moment passes, and then you break the silence once more.

"wanna do something tomorrow?"

your legs are beginning to hurt.

a lot.

"i need a bench!" you whine, stretching out your lower back. "i need a place to sit!"

jimin laughs, and her hand flies up to her mouth as if trying to stop herself, but it's no use. she does that a lot, you've noticed. so cute.

you're in a park, the one near the hotel where you're staying. the two of you were going for a walk when suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, you've been walking for quite a long time now. talking about whatever came to mind, and now, your legs are giving out.

"we could just stop and sit down anywhere, you know."

"no, no," you protest. "the bench will come."

jimin snorts. "okay, okay. if you say so."

the two of you continue walking, your steps slowing as you glance around for this mythical bench you're so convinced will magically appear. jimin keeps laughing softly under her breath, her amusement growing with every dramatic sigh you let out.

her gaze rises to the hat on your head, smiling to herself.

"i'm too young to feel this old," you groan, stretching dramatically. "is this what you feel like, unnie?" jimin doesn't respond, shooting you a glare, and you laugh, throwing up your hands in surrender.

finally, she reaches out and tugs it off your head, putting it on her own. "hey," you exclaim, reaching for it, but she dances away.

jimin places the hat on her head, adjusting it with a playful smirk as she steps just out of your reach. "what do you think?" she asks, spinning on her heel dramatically, her hands on her hips.

you pause, crossing your arms with a mock frown. "i think you're a thief, and i want my hat back."

"it suits me better, doesn't it?" she teases, tilting the brim slightly as if she's modeling it for a camera.

yes.

"you wish," you reply, stepping closer, but she takes another step back, grinning.

as she settles into a more natural stance, her fingers brush over the fabric. "you really like this hat, huh?"

you shrug, "it's a good hat."

"it must be," she says, raising her eyebrows. "i mean, you never take it off."

"i barely wear it!" you protest, which was semi-true; it was one of your favorite hats, but you wore it a lot less than others.

"you were wearing this the first time i saw you walking around the company building," she says, and then pauses. "and the second time."

"well, like i said, it's a nice hat."

she laughs, shaking her head.

"do you wanna keep it?" you ask.

jimin blinks, surprised. "keep it? like, keep it forever?"

you nod, a grin spreading across your face. "sure. keep it safe for me."

jimin hesitates, studying your expression. "you're serious?"

"why not? it looks better on you, right?" you say, repeating her own words with a slight shrug.

a slow smile creeps across her face as she adjusts the hat.

she walked a little closer to you for the rest of the day, her shoulder brushing against yours more often, her hand occasionally bumping yours. it wasn't intentional, you were sure, but that didn't mean it didn't make you feel something.

the day passed quicker than you wanted, slipping away before you could really grab hold of it. you kept glancing at her when you thought she wasn't looking, wanting to see the way the light hit her skin, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, the way her nose scrunched up whenever you said something a little too silly.

and she caught you staring, multiple times. but she didn't say anything, didn't point it out, didn't make you feel embarrassed.

just smiled, and smiled, and smiled.

at some point, you ended up at a small café near the edge of the park. it was quiet, tucked away from the busier streets, a perfect little hideaway. you sat across from each other, the table small enough that your knees brushed under it if either of you moved even slightly.

you talked—about anything, everything. you told her about growing up as an artist, how much it took out of you some days, how exhausting it could be to pour so much of yourself into your work and still feel like you weren't enough. and she listened, really listened, her chin propped on her hand as her fingers idly brushed the brim of the hat she still hadn't given back.

you wanted her to keep the hat. you wanted her to have something of yours, something that showed you cared, even if it was just a simple hat. and maybe you were getting ahead of yourself. maybe you were overthinking, reading into things too much.

she made you feel something, something different, something exciting, something that had been missing for so long. and maybe you were being naïve, hoping for something more than what was actually there.

but you couldn't help yourself.

eventually, it was time to part ways. she had her dorm to return to, and you had your hotel room waiting for you. the two of you were still giggling and whispering and talking as you made your way down the street, the sun already starting to set.

your hotel room feels emptier than usual after you part ways with jimin. it's not like there's anything missing, really; everything is just as you left it. the bed is neatly made, your suitcase is half-open in the corner, and your phone sits charging on the nightstand.

you sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through your hair, and check your phone. no new messages. you don't know why you were hoping for one. she probably went straight back to the dorms, tired but smiling—at least, you hope she's smiling.

you sigh, flopping back onto the bed. the ceiling stares back at you as if mocking the restless thoughts running wild in your head.

"stop overthinking," you mutter to yourself, dragging a pillow over your face. you're trying not to admit how much you've started to like her—because liking her feels... complicated.

and you don't want to complicate things.

but maybe it's not as complicated as you're making it.

who knows?

your phone buzzes on the nightstand, breaking the silence. your heart skips a beat as you lunge for it, nearly knocking it to the floor.

the beach is quiet, almost deserted. the sun's long gone, leaving the sky dark, with the moon hanging high, its pale light spilling over the sand. the waves crash softly, the sound blending with the gentle wind. everything feels calm, peaceful.

you sit on the bench, beside her, neither of you saying anything. the stillness isn't awkward, though—it feels good, like it's just the two of you and the ocean. the air smells like salt, the breeze ruffling your hair. you take a deep breath, savoring it, letting the quiet sink in.

jimin's beside you, her back resting against the bench. she hasn't said much since you got here, and you're okay with that. she's content with just having your presence around.

her eyes are closed, her hair fluttering in the wind, strands falling across her face. everything about her seems so effortless, like she belongs here, like this place is where she's supposed to be.

you catch yourself watching her, and it's impossible not to. there's something about the way she seems so at peace, so in tune with everything around her.

it makes you wonder what's going through her head—if she's thinking about work, home, or maybe something completely different. you just wish you could know what's in her mind, even though it doesn't matter. you just like being here, in this moment, with her.

she's so beautiful, and you can't help but think it. the moonlight makes her look even more stunning, softening the sharp lines of her face, highlighting the way her hair catches the light. her lips are slightly parted, like she's lost in her own thoughts.

and then, without thinking, your hand reaches out, brushing a strand of hair off her face. your fingers linger a little longer than necessary, and when you pull back, her eyes open and meet yours.

your heart jumps in your chest, and you pull your hand away, embarrassed. "sorry," you mumble, suddenly feeling awkward. you can't meet her gaze, your eyes shifting to the ground.

"it's fine," she says softly, her voice barely louder than the sound of the waves. she looks at your hands, resting awkwardly in your lap. "your hands are cold," she adds, smiling, and before you can say anything, she takes your hand in hers.

you freeze, a little caught off guard. her hand feels warm against yours, the contact so simple yet so grounding. her fingers curl around yours, and you just sit there, unsure of what to do, but not really wanting to move. it feels right, even if your thoughts are racing. the only thing that matters is that you're here with her, and she's holding your hand.

you sit like that for a while, neither of you speaking, just holding on to each other, feeling the quiet surround you. eventually, jimin leans her head against your shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. "this is nice," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "i don't get to do this very often."

you smile a little, your heart softening at her words. "you make things feel... easy," she adds quietly, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "like i don't have to think so hard about everything."

without thinking, you reply, your voice quiet but sincere. "you don't have to think so hard around me. just be yourself."

she looks up at you, her smile small and shy, and then she rests her head on your shoulder again. "i'll try," she says, squeezing your hand gently.

you squeeze her hand gently, offering her a smile that reassures both of you. "good."

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next. extra content.

[dilf-docs]

Misery Reigns My Lonely Neon Nights

old man!logan x younger fem!reader

summary: logan should've said no. should've just drove the pretty waitress home. that's his job. hers is to serve his cup of coffee to the brim. so why is he riding you to his house?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (cause we have a small daddy kink going on here.. hence the blog name BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD DAD), smut, this reeks of corruption kink for no reason other than me being a virgin whore, like he gets stalker-ish for a second but its logan howlett so we forgive him<3 ya está viejito, brief mention of suicide, sub logan edging on praising kink (if u squint), no protection but u gotta put the hat on the cowboy to ride the horse alr, riding, breeding kink??? angst (the depressing vibes are there cause they follow my writing like a shadow ijbol)

word count: 6,102 words (at the v crack of dawn.. i think i've gone insane FR it's 02:07 am and my brain its eating itself like im gonna start seeing logan in the corner of my room)

side note: newbie here after reading so many fanfics on tumblr but never publishing my own!! its hugh's birthday (well, its past midnight so no more but still!!! it was a couple hours ago) so i figured i should give it a try today cause that man does things to me ESPECIALLY as old man logan i can't lie and say the thought of him fucking me good and slow hasn't crossed my mind too many times 😩 we love sad hot old people in here so naturally my inaguration fic had to be done by him. also, i'm tired of scrapping for votes, comments, and interactions on wattpad so please treat me well during our first:// it's me moving to tumblr it's me hi i'm the problem it's me. i'm a feedback whore so pls leave tons of those!! also, english isn't my first language so if i make a grammar mistake pls do not tell me bc i have no respect for this language ―it just makes me cringe less to write smut on a language that isn't mine lol<3 but if there's any other mistake yes pls do tell me thank u OKAY BYE i needa quit yapping ENJOY dilf town<3

So it started something like this.

It was another simple nightshift for Logan. The weather humid, uncomfortably sticking the fabric of his white button shirt onto his skin. Even with the windows down. Those nights that the driving dragged on for long, like those cigarettes that now made him cough more than relax. The roads felt too long; his eyes too heavy.

Nothing new. Just about what to expect: money short, clients and traffic equally annoying. But that was the problem; nothing was new anymore.

He'd just finish dropping a customer close by, and since the tiring feeling didn't seem to leave his body just yet, a coffee wouldn't hurt. As a matter of fact, the need for a boost to make it home makes him get out of the car and limp his way into the first place his tired vision sees.

The rim of his recently adquired reading glasses slips as he climbs the stairs into the decades old diner, the decoration outdated. He understands; he feels the same way.

Neon lights flash his face when he enters the place and sits in the farthest booth he can find. The air is impregnated in grease and cheap coffee, but he waits at least fifty minutes to order, giving his body some time to rest. In the meanwhile, he tries to distract himself with the newspaper resting on the table, but God knows his eyes are too tired and his mind drifts every two words.

He hopes he doesn't get kicked out, judging from the attentive look he's receiving by a waitress resting on the bar. She looks as bored and tired as he does.

Maybe that's why he chooses her, raising his hand with order in mind. A black coffee. The waitress slides from her position and takes some steps to where he sits.

Her voice is sweet when she introduces herself, and Logan finds himself asking her again what her name is, pretending he's half deaf just to listen to it again.

"It's y/n" you repeat, oh so sickeningly sweet, he might have to skip on asking for sugar.

"Y/n" he savours the name on his lips, trying the tender sound, his eyes darting to the name tag, like he's confirming it. Testing to see if the young woman in front of him is real. Maybe his eyes linger a little too long, and the tip of your ears start to heat. Its the way he examines every feature on your face, like memorizing it in a sense, that makes you squirm. But maybe, just maybe, it's the small―brief, peak he gives to your exposed cleavage, pushing itself against the tight fabric of your uniform what truly gets your heart beating fast.

He looks like what your parents would warn you to stay away and your friends would talk behind your back. Rugged in a way that screams heartbreak, rough around edges your kind nature wishes to soften. It's unresonable to feel this way about a client you just met, but his aloof demeanor peaks your interest, so different from your usual costumers and familiar faces that pop up at the diner.

"Can I order you, darling?" his voice comes out deep, almost passing as a grunt. Just what you imagined it to sound. Why he's acting as his past self so effortlessly, after closing himself off to the point of going by entire days without talking more than three words, is concerning. Why the cute waitress who looks at him with doe eyes, expectant to take his order, is making him break the promise he made to himself not to get attached again―just live by enough to make it to the sea and put a bullet in his head.

"Well, that's just about my job" you joke, feeling confident for no reason. "But you can't order me".

"A damn shame" he chuckles, the sound deep, rumbling on his chest. It's been so long since he's laughed like that: carefree, without that pressing weight on his chest, that despite the sinking notion, sometimes feels more like a hole carved where his heart is supposed to be.

"So..." you trail off, unsure where to proceed after that sound that jolted your entire system awake, "what will you take?"

The banter dies, and Logan is dissapointed when she scribbles the dark coffee on her pretty round letter and walks away. He doesn't miss the sway of her hips, and almost calls her back just to hear her voice again. But he stops himself, because it's getting pathetic.

When she returns with her order, he almost regrets the comeback of his enhaced senses, her honeyed perfume mixed with the bitter smell of the freshly brewed coffee, creating an intoxicating mix.

His lips burn when he sips it, but that doesn't stop him from emptying the cup. Again. And again. All in the name for asking for more coffee, a magnetic force pulling him to the ground, making him forget he's a 200 and something year old man begging like a starved man for at least a fraction of her attention. He feels unworthy of your warmth.

He feigns interest on the newspaper when you return again (he's been stuck on the same paragraph ever since he sat down), the pot in your hands. If you've noticed he's emptied the cups faster than a normal person, you don't ask questions. He's thankful, but can see the amusement and confusion laced across your pretty face.

"More?" you ask, but it's unnecesary. He only nods, and you miss the chatter.

The closeness it's a challenge itself, the uniform's neckline practically shoved down his nose while she fills the cup to the brim. He hears his own heartbeat, the sound averting his attention from another "brief" glance at the cleavage. Is it intentional? Is your goodwill and act? Are you this cruel, playing with an old touch starved man like that?

God knows it's been long since he's had a helping hand during his relief hours.

He can't help it; he's a man, after all. So he seizes the moment and steals a glance. But his eyes meet yours, the wary green clashing with the cozy chocolate. There's warmth on your eyes, and he's looking at your tits like an animal. He pulls away, ashamed. The shirt feels a bit suffocating, and there's sweat on his forehead again. Great, you'll think he's a perv.

"Excuse me" you say, leaving his table. Logan is afraid of having fucked it up for thinking with this dick and not with his head. You were messing too much with his head, and now he'll pay the price. Fair, he thinks, for a perverted old man trying to woo a girl younger and far more innocent than him.

There's benevolance on her smile and blood on his hands.

The whole situation is stupid.

But then he's thinking of excuses (like saying it's his failing eyesight's fault) and something close to an apology, as if he cares a little too much about what you think. And then you come back.

"I forgot to bring you a napkin" she lies, leaving the piece of paper in the middle of the table. You laugh, and Logan let's you because 1. He deserves it, and 2. It's a sound as saccharine as the smell the freshly heated pies emit on the table across him.

You leave before he can even open his mouth, so all he's left with is the napkin that seems to have something written on it. Pervert, he reads, on the same calligraphy you scribbled on your bloc. He can't help but laugh, even with your watchful look on him.

That's how it continued.

Even if he had other rides and more energy to drive, he kept coming to the decaying diner just to see you. Almost as if he was forgetting his desperate need for the money, the boat goal further and further.

"You've forgotten about me" complained Charles, although his tone lacked of bite. "But I'm not mad that you've had".

He'd go on, rambling about living life but Logan just laughed. Yet, maybe he was right. Didn't even need his powers to know it.

Now, you? you simply couldn't get enough of your favorite costumer. Of his late stays until you closed, sometimes not muttering more than necessary, yet his company, even if curt, proved to be what you needed to make it through work, giving you a legitimate reason to yearn the before tedious night shifts.

Despite this two month weird relationship, Logan is as a stranger to you as he was the first day, no matter how many times you've tried to get him to talk. In the end, all your conversation efforts feel more of a monologue than a chat.

He knows about your mom and your dad, one strict the other dead. He knows most of your friends names, what you're studying and what you wanted to. Your dreams and your hopes, your aspirations, failures, and some other things you'd never say to anyone else out loud. All and nothing. And he listens, sometimes asking questions, but never about himself. He never takes the lead.

So frustration from the Logan enigma pours into you, the puzzle pieces layed out over your mind, consuming your thoughts. So now you're stubbornly cleaning the same grease spot on a table you've already wipped before, and that, coincidentally, it's the booth in front of Logan, the permanent resident of your head during these past weeks. You might as well make him start paying rent by now, his power and hold over you ridiculous.

"It's not going anywhere. Take it easy" he mocks you.

There's a bit of annoyance when you reply back, although it's mostly superficial. "Don't know what you're talking about" comes out your dry response, earning a low chuckle from him.

"How about you sit for a moment?" he offers, ignoring your apathy. "You're almost done cleaning up".

If his ever changing attitude isn't enough, closing this night's shift is as tiring.

Logan doesn't expect you to obey, but now you're sitting across from him, and a voice in his head says you maybe feel sorry for this lunatic old man.

You're so close, he can see the eye bags and sorrow you are far tired to try to hide.

"I have to finish cleaning" you explain, "we're about to close".

He doesn't know why he says it, or what takes over him when he says:

"I could wait for you"

He surprises himself and surprises you too.

"No need" you assure, and why does he feel so dissapointed. It's stupid. "My friend picks me up".

Ah, yes. The friend with the perfect stupid smile that picks you up every night. Not like he parks his car until you leave and sees the scene unfold each time, his white knuckle grip on the wheel a bit too much when the young boy opens up your door. Makes him see red, knowing he's your age and maybe the breathe of fresh air you need. Not a man far older, who bears too many sins and scars in and out.

"I see" he says after some minutes in silence, retracting his impulsiveness. "I'm sorry if I made you-"

"No!" you clarify hastily, "it doesn't bother me".

He smiles unconsciously in relief.

"Well, me neither. I insist. If you change your mind" he's practically begging, despite his monotone tone.

But you don't.

The place closes and Logan is forced to get in the car. He lights a cigarette, in no hurry to return home. The lighter lights up while the diner's light goes off. You and your boss come out, biding each other goodbye. She leaves and you're is left alone, hugging your body in the early morning cold. 

He sees you wearing particular clothes, for the first time. He takes a slow drag on his cigarette, eyes running up and down your bare legs, the fragile fabric of the skirt fluttering in the wind. He exhales, watching as you dials your phone several times, getting no response, obviously frustrated.

He mutters something under his breath, and maybe there is a God after all. He starts the car, approaching her, who has already noticed it, probably because of the noise of the engine.

She looks scared, but Logan rolls down the window so she can see it's him.

"Need'a ride?"

Just by his reverberant sound you could accept. But you try to play cool for a while, despite your aching bones and need to get home.

"He doesn't answer" he was right, "my friend".

I know, he wishes to say, but he's the same hot headed asshole who walked through the doors of the X mansion for the first time, so his tone will be laced with irony. He doesn't want you to see him as an intense hot blooded mouth.

I could take you. His head pounds but he shuts the emotions down.

He shoves the knot on his throat down and asks as casually as possible, "do you live close?"

"Just around the corner" you answer. A beat, your frame bending so he can see your face from the driver's sit, the cleavage saying hello again. How considerate of you. "Do you really want to do this?"

Do you really want to do this?

The question rings on his ears. It holds more than just the favor. Logan knows they have a certain tension between them that he no longer wants to ignore. For the first time it seems to be reciprocated; palpable, and he is surprised to hear his heart beating loudly, so accustomed to hearing others' with his sharp senses, constantly forgetting what his own sounds like. Yours also beats erratically, despite your calm composure.

You arch an eyebrow, amused. "I can't believe you waited for me. Your family must be worried."

Logan realizes you're trying to test waters. So he raises his hand discreetly and places it on the door, so you can see the lack of a ring. As expected, your eyes travel to his free finger, and he can swear he sees you breathe with relief, which is funny, because in case you hadn't picked up until now, Logan is very much fucking alone.

"In case you changed your mind," he answers. "I have nowhere else to be."

That is enough of an invitation for you to get in the car.

"I was going to open that door for you" he protests.

You only laugh as you buckle the seatbelt. "It's not that big of a deal, really. You've already done enough for me by doing me the favor".

"It's not that big of a deal" he repeats your words, "as long as I'm of help, that's enough for me".

He smiles wistfully, remembering better times. A part of him still aspires to be that hero everyone loved and remembered, something that clearly doesn't happen anymore (or if it does, it's rare), given the lack of recognition of his former identity in El Paso. He shakes his head, focusing back on the street in front of him. It's too late to get fucking sentimental.

"I like to help too…" you confess, meekly. Logan sighs, how could he not know? "My father used to say that I had the kindest heart he'd ever met. I hope it stays that way, and that when he looks down on me, he's proud".

It hurts Logan to see you be so hard on yourself, as if he didn't do the same.

"I bet all the customers in the place would say you're the sweetest thing they've met", he sees you smile from the corner of his eye, and can't help but emulate it. "Believe me, you're their favorite".

"Thank you, Logan" you say sincerely. However, the affliction that he hates to see crosses your face. So gloomy that you don't even seem the same person.

You wipe away an unexpected tear, but Howlett is faster and notices. You turn around, looking towards the window. Then, you catch a glimpse of his license.

"So… you're a driver" you try to break the silence that Logan has put without knowing why. Maybe to give you some space after being sentimental and opening up again to this closed off wall name Logan, but he knows it's a lie. He's scared. After wanting so much to be closer to you, he cowers, not trusting himself and what he would do trapped in a small space with such an attractive woman. Besides, the tension from the previous conversation was still there.

"You judging me now, honey?" the pet name rolls off his tongue before he catches it. He tries to play it cool, continuing the banter, carrying the same tone. "The only thing necessary to make you trust me was to give you a free ride?

"I'm in your car, Logan. I got in without thinking" you laugh. "I believe that's enough trust"

"Then, I'll keep doing you favors. Maybe if I do…" he trails off.

Your voice drops an octave, provocative. "Maybe what?"

His knuckles grip the steering wheel until they turn white.

"Maybe…" he hesitates, "maybe…"

"It's here" you point out. Shit, Logan curses, braking abruptly without meaning to.

"See you tomorrow" you bid as a goodbye, getting out of the car. Logan misses your smell.

So he sticks his head out the window, like a begging dog.

"How about now?" he says a bit forcefully.

Your face shows surprise and something else.

"You're getting attached" you reply, and he doesn't know why there seems to be sadness in your voice.

"I just keep coming back for the coffee" he defends himself.

You laugh, shaking your head "Now, then. For the coffee, clearly."

"I can leave" he says. Yet, makes no move to leave.

You sigh, giving him one last look. Surrender, he reads.

"You're a driver, right?" he nods, taking in every word coming of your pink plush lips. "Then let's drive off. Anywhere" your voice trails off, and you're just so tired of everything, you'll just let go yourself with the flow. "I'll go wherever you go..."

And this is how it ends.

When you wake up, it's almost dawn.

Logan had suggested you to sleep, claming the road where he was taking you to be long. He had covered you with his jacket, even if your body was burning from nerves.

Why had you agreed? Your mom would probably smack your head in search for some sense, and your reckless friends would encourage you to do it for the sake of a story. But something about Logan makes you feel safe, despite not knowing anything from him. It's sort of a sense of protection―like he would never hurt you, that envelops him. Everyone else would call you crazy; only you can understand that.

When your eyes adjust to the light, you realize you're in a line of cars.

"Did you bring me to the border?" you exclaim groggily, still in a sleepy voice.

"Good morning" he answers instead.

You rub yoou eyes, settling into the passenger seat.

"You're not going to kidnap me, right?" you question, half joking half serious.

Logan laughs, "Not only that. I'm also going to throw your body in a mass grave"

"It's not funny," you pout, although you're laughing too.

Once you've crossed the border, Logan drives a few more minutes, until he reaches a restricted area.

“I live here” he answers before you can ask, “saves rent and questions”

After opening the locks, you can better appreciate the place. Well, appreciate may not be the right word.

“It's an abandoned smelting plant” you voice out loud.

Logan just nods. You realize that he didn't like the comment, so you try not to talk about it anymore.

“Come” he gets out of the car, going to open your door. He offers you a hand, and you fail to hide your smile.

“You didn't miss this time, huh? Quite a gentleman” you praise. Then, add jokingly, “if you choose to kill me, at least I'll die taken care of".

“Stop talking nonsense and go inside” he scolds but smiles.

Inside, the abandoned plant is exactly what you expected.

"We're alone" Logan says, after leaving to check. He opens the door to his room, letting you in. There's not much inside, just a bed and scattered things. A yellowish light begins to filter through the broken glass. "I'mma change. Be right back".

You begin to explore your surroundings, to avoid thinking about the impact of the situation. Two things could happen: leave or stay. Maybe everything was going too fast, but you prided yourself on your spontaneity, often confused with impulsiveness. Others would say it was your naive nature: too innocent for your own good.

What had led you to accept without further ado? Was trust enough, that you had even fallen asleep in his car?

"S'rry for the wait"

You notice that Logan's gotten rid of his formal attire, leaving him in just slacks and an old white tank top. His muscles flex with every movement, making you swallow involuntarily. He still retains his extraordinary physique, despite his greying hair. She can't help but stare at the scars that cover his exposed skin, her fingers itching to trace them.

"Haven't they told ya' t's rude to stare?"

You look away, embarrassed. Logan walks over to the bed, bumping into you in the process, bodies barely touching. Still, an electric shock runs through you. You hug yourself, scared, aware of the effect he has on you.

"Logan" she dares to ask, "what are we doing?"

He finally looks at you. You feel naked under his intense gaze.

"What do you want us to do?"

His voice comes out low, like a growl. You stand in place stiff, unable to form a word.

"Come on, honey", the nickname comes out of his lips so easily, it hurts. "Are ya losing your voice now? Got into my car a while ago without thinkin', what's changed?"

You slowly approach Logan, each stride calculated. He watches you in silence, a silence as hostile as the wind hitting the broken windows, watching you remove your clothes, until all that's left is your bra and that skimpy skirt, as if you knew he liked it.

"Logan…" you whisper his name like a prayer, letting yourself fall on his legs. He holds you with his hard calloused fingers, like a promise.

Don't let me fall. Don't let me go. Don't leave me.

"Use your words, sweet thing" the trepidation condenses between, "we're grown up now, aren't we? Use your words"

If by words he meant feeling your lips against his, it's enough to have Logan following his impulses, using his strength to embrace your body until they feel like one, the scars on his hands feeling like your own. Your lips move in sync, and it's almost so casual, so learned, so meant to be, that fear appears in Logan, soon forgotten with the symphony of moans that come from your lips.

"Tell me" he pauses, breaking away from the kiss (something you don't like and express in the form of a pout), "what do you want?"

Logan tastes like cigars and whiskey, a combination you hate and the reason you quit your old job at the bar, but on his lips, it's an intoxicating taste.

"I want you, Logan" you whisper, hot breath against his skin, “you”.

He resumes the kiss, an electric shock of hunger and need between you: lips parted, colliding, teeth almost clashing against each other.

His fingers hesitate with a delicacy that belies his rough touch, the tips of his worn fingers lifting the fragile cloth of your skirt first, revealing soaking wet panties he goes crazy just at the sight of. The smell is sugary, sicklingly, so now he's hard and pulling at the clasp of your bra first, exposing your nipples, which he rolls and pinches mercilessly. A gasp escapes you—then another, and another as Logan pushes his thigh between your legs. The friction is delicious, almost painful against your pulsing center.

His hand firm up his position, securing itself onyour bare legs as you digs her nails into him. His labored moans turn into a guttural growl.

“You think I’m not capable?” he mocks, stealing another moan from her, “that I can’t keep up with you, you pretty young thing?”

You deny it, but Logan takes it upon himself to show you that he can take you like he's in heat, the ghost of his old self taking over in his almost animal way of fucking you, hips arched, muscles flexed and tense, his teeth appearing every time he opens his mouth, reminding you of fangs. They dig into your exposed skin, leaving bruises that will take time to disappear from your shoulders and neck, marking what belongs to him.

The hardness of his skin meets your soft when he grabs you by the waist.

"Look at you" it slips from his tongue, ecstatic. He's a goner, saliva dripping from the messy and sloppy kisses he leaves through your collarbone, "so good and so pure. I bet you're innocent, that you haven't seen what I've seen..."

His pupils darken, a strange mix between torment and desire in his gaze. Hungry and violent.

"Will you let me show you how's a real man s'ppossed to treat a woman?"

He feels shame settle in his belly, the hunger to possess her almost virgin body fueling his dark desire of errasing her sweet smile until she's an unintelligible mess of sobs. To show her what she would complain about, so she'll never slettle for less. So you can feel what it's to be taken care of―handled. And then he'll fill you up with his seed, so no other man will take what's his. His sweet little thing. Oh, he's so going to hell for this.

But maybe he likes pain.

"That's it, honey" he plays with the fabric of your wet panties, pulling at the loose threads in the delicate fabric. "Let me show you".

You take it off, and Logan lies back against the bed, spreading his legs and unbuttoning his belt and pants―a clear invitation to repeat the previous position, except this time, his hands are on top of your hips, squeezing the soft skin. He doesn't take his eyes off you, his gaze reserved only on you. If the adrenaline from before pushed you, now the confidence gained motions you to finish the task. It's just the push you need, remembering that this is what it feels like to be with a real man as you throw a leg over his hips, sitting your ass right on top of the bulge marked on his underwear.

“Right… there…” he barely manages to formulate a coherent train of words, the years of lack of help in attending to his needs leading to overstimulation, “good girl.”

The compliment makes you increase the pace of your hips, his labored breaths a sound so rich and so manly it makes you squirm.

You need it desperately, rubbing your increasingly wet clit against him, riding the fabric. His scruffy beard barely hides the smug smile that graces his lips.

“Like this?” she whispers, and Logan can no longer contain himself, staring at his sweaty, ripped body failing to please her completely. It feels so good it aches, and he can't believe this is how he's ended. But if that means having your pretty face on top of him, covered in his marks, dripping on your joint sweats, well maybe it isn't so bad.

“How can I repay you, honey?” he pleads. He'll try he's best. He just wants to give you a glimpse of the way his whole world has light up ever since he stumbled in that greasy diner.

“You said you were going to show me” it comes out almost as a purr, expectant, “and I’m waiting”.

Logan takes it as his cue, pulling down his underwear until his member is exposed, chuckling darkly when you swallow at the sight.

"Don't tell me you're scared already" he teases, "look how you have me… you can't leave me like this…"

You stifle a scream as you feel every inch of his thick cock enter your sensible walls, trying to fit his member inside of your needy body.

"So tight for me" he stammers, using his hands to keep you in place, on top of him. The only sound in the silence of that place that smells of death is that of their skin colliding―vulgar, the obscenity highlighted by being the only thing that can be heard in the small room.

Even though his stamina has dropped over the years, he thrusts into you relentlessly. Logan fucks you senseless, his balls buried deep in your dripping pussy, a constant rhythm of avid suction with each entry to your walls.

He takes a moment to see you as you take something from the nighstand he doesn't remember putting there.

"Look what I found" you whisper in the middle of your moans. Logan recognizes the shine of metal in front of his eyes, "so Wolverine?"

You say it so easily, like it's not the first time. With acceptance; it scares him.

Do you recognize him? Are you not scared? Why haven't your eyes go from curiosity and kindness to cold and rejection?

He should panic, rip off his dog tags from your hands and pretend he doesn't know who he used to be, but he's so deep inside you and so enraptured, he can only manage to gently take them from between your fingers and put them around your neck, the cold metal against your warm, bare skin creating an electric shock.

"I want to see them on you"

He likes to watch it hang over his face while you're on top, panting heavily as she repeats his name, slurring her words. It dangles with every thrust, the silver glistens in the seeping sun, just like the sweat that adorns her skin.

"Are you that needy of your old man? " he teases, caressing her. He smacks the curve of his ass, “You want more?”

His veiny length makes quick work of your needy hole, more moans escaping your lips.

“Shit,” you curse, wincing at the pain that begins to increase. “Yes, Logan. Just like that. Nobody ever treated me like that, nobody's made me feel like this-”

He moans, pleased with the praise, seeing he isn't as lacking as he thought. Making you feel good is his priority, but he won't lie and say he doesn't want to feel it too.

In an attempt to distract yourself, your eyes try to focus on him: searching his features, memorizing every scar, every wrinkle, every little grey hair.

“You’re perfect, Logan,” you mumble through a moan, the confession hiding more than you want to say and more than he cares to admit.

Before he can process it though, the fire in his stomach signals the arrival of his impending orgasm.

There's something delightful about the way you can barely speak, a mess of moans that sound like his name, eyes half-lidded and lips swollen alongside your messy hair.

He feels almost sick to be consuming something that doesn't and shouldn't belong to him. He doesn't deserve to have such a beautiful, young woman riding him while she clings to him like he's the last thing in this world, him: a worn, old man who can't keep up with her.

His member spasms, and it's got you feeling it all inside your walls, causing him to close his eyes in the process as well.

It's too soon, Logan thinks in shame, but it's been so long and you feels so good, he let's it go:

Thick whips of his cum shoot out of his member, drawing out more than you would've imagined. You don't have much time to think about it, for the orgasm hits you immediately, fingers curling and eyes rolling to the back of your skull.

Logan feels his tip getting wetter, and the extra lubrication is a nice finishing touch.

“God,” he gasps, “what a mess…”

You avoid looking at him, taking one of his hands in yours, kissing the red and violet painted knuckles. If you do, you'll give away what you feel, the same way her memory burns in Logan's chest, more now than ever, as his mouth tastes just like you.

Dependency.

Devotion. Absolute. Sick.

Maybe that was what he felt. This weird feeling. That abyss piercing his chest but never killing him (so much for regenerating...), pressing his heart with a crushing force whenever it threathened to beat again. Logan was content with rather nothing, always a man who didn't ask for much, and since the death of his family―the X-men, less.

"You should go" he mutters in defeat, the shame washing over. Even if he'll miss your warmth, even if he doesn't want you to leave at all. "It's for your own good, y/n. Pretend you don't know me and turn around. Go away" he insists yet gets stuck on his words, "you're not stupid. Then you'll know it's good for you and you'll never speak to me again"

He looks at the ground, cowardly, because he wants your lust filled warm look to be the last memory he remembers. Not whatever look you're giving him now.

So Logan closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he opens them, you'll be gone. It'll be a dream, something too good to be true. Short lived, like every good thing in his life.

"Logan..." you calls his name. So softly it seems like a breath.

You're still here.

"Logan" you call again, more firmly.

"Logan" you don't give up, cupping with one hand his face gently, "look at me".

When he looks up, he comes across a heartbreaking vision. You cry, tears falling like waterfalls down your cheeks. But that's not the most devastating thing, no: it's the look in your eyes, as if you've shared his pain. As if you've had suffered the same things he had suffered; a twisted reflection of him.

"Of course I understand you" you take his hands, and Logan feels that same strange warmth he felt the first time when your hands brushed his with the diner's menu. "I've also lost people… people I loved. Don't you think it hurts me to see the world go on as if nothing happened? Everyone forgets, Logan. But I can't; there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about them"

For a moment, you stop crying, and the hidden internal turmoil he tried so hard to decipher finally makes sense.

"I don't know what you've been through either, but I can promise you, that I understand you more than you think…" it seems like you'll say something else, but you stop and say instead. "Think, Lo: would these people want to see you like this?"

"It's what I deserve" he murmurs barely, his voice constipated but without shedding a single tear.

"It's not what we want, Logan. Please" you sniff, pained "stop being so hard on yourself".

"I'm not who you think I am" he insists. You're still naked on his bed, and he feels dirty for having you like this. For taking you to his home and fucking you raw out of your innocence. "I'm not a good person."

"No, Logan" you seem hurt by that statement. You trace one of his most recent scars with a touch so compassionate, that he feels your fingertips burn, "you are a hero".

Your words were so sweet, so comforting. He wanted to sink into your lap, which smelled like flowers and tasted like safety. A home; a life that had been taken from him. He wanted to believe everything you said―feel who you believed he was. Not this pathetic, tired and apathetic version of himself, but the old version: the version that inspired respect, that despite his tough exterior, had a family he loved. Because he had a heart. Now he feels like he has no soul: no purpose, nothing.

But maybe you are the answer.

Before he can change his mind, you blurt out “can I stay?”

That morning, in that old bed that creaks under his weight, Logan discovers that feeling alive again isn't so bad.

credits: divider @kodaswrld / gif @userparamore

[st-just]

I have a bit of a question here with a probably long answer but you reblogged a post a while ago about ttrpg culture that linked another post and I was really curious why it is people say you cant or shouldnt hack 5e into a sci-fi campaign. I did it just fine with little effort outside of the usual task of building out a world (or several in this case) for it. Granted its essentially spelljammer meets shadowrun but thats still sci-fi enough to have been told time and again by people online that it cannot work

Like I get starfinder exists but im really comfortable in 5e and overall I find starfinder, like pathfinder, relies on a lot of modifiers for rolls, where 5e's math is simpler overall since there are less floating modifiers to calculate, and most importantly my players didnt want to learn a new system since a few of them have trouble committing all the rules to memory and JUST picked up 5e for our other campaign.

Overall people always act like it could never work and theres never any reason to try, even in situations like this i should have just slapped my players with my starfinder book instead of just changing up how a some of the spells work, and the campaign was great, so why is it that people are so insistent on not even trying to do it?

re

So I've never actually played/looked at Starfinder, but to the extent it's 'Pathfinder IN SPAAAACE' it's, like, possibly the single worst possible suggestion to give someone when you're trying to explain the benefits of a non-D&D system, so not sure what the people who say that stuff are really talking about. (Even saying pathfinder/starfinder isn't D&D seems like useless pedantry to me. It's all just Edition 3.75 but with a third party publisher)

But to actually answer the point - there's no problem at all hacking D&D 5e to run Sci Fi instead of Fantasy - the difference is basically set dressing and aesthetics and renaming all the magic stuff. But the sci fi it's good at is still very distinctly D&D sci fi - a zero-to-hero adventure series where the challenges and obstacles the heroes face are primarily expressed in terms of physical harm and danger, and which are primarily defeated through small-scale violence between the protagonists and their opponents.

Like, if you're willing to squint about character classes and whatever, D&D can do something like Mass Effect fine. It would really, really struggle to do Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. (Or I mean, you could do Duet or By Pale Moonlight as D&D sessions, but they would be roughly 90% freeform roleplay with a few die rolls thrown in here and there to keep up appearances. At which point why did you spend an hour doing all the math for character creation in the first place?)

Honestly I think a decent chunk of the rhetoric around this is kind of cartoonishly vitriolic and pretty unbecoming, but it is kind of painful to try and hack at the thing to tell stories it's not at all suited for (if you're not looking for power fantasy pulpy heroic tactical violence, don't use the game that spends 90% of its word count on that!).

(The other thing is that D&D very much relies on the players as acting as independent agents - if you're character isn't someone who solves problems by personally charging into danger, and whose primary problem solving toolkit can be expressed in terms of tactical violence, they just don't really work as a D&D character.)

...sorry, it's pretty late and I'm rambling. Hopefully I understood what you were getting at?

[kalpasio]

IT IS I, 🧊ANON, SCREAMING IN MY PILLOW

JUST READ THE 5 + 1 FIC AFTER RECOVERING FROM A COLD AND I AM GIGGLING LIKE A DUMBASS I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Tbh I would be the EXACT SAME as reader because I cannot for the life of me pick up on social cues ESPECIALLY with someone as hot as Kalpas😭

AND IM NGL, BRIAN AND EMILE CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD LMAO But hey be who you areee (he is 100% gay I don't make the rules)

KALPAS COUNTING ON HIS FINGERS IS SO RELATABLE, WE LOVE DUMB FIERY MAN <3

When he grabbed reader by the shoulder I kept thinking of those dramatic kdramas with the glowy effect and the scene repeating 47 times YKWIM?

This fic will live in my mind rent free for the next 3 weeks thank you for the food and ty werewolf kalpas anon for requesting this masterpiece of an idea!!

(WHAT THE HELLL KIND OF BULLSHI- EXCINTMINT MY ASS BOY)

HIIIIII 🧊ANON!!! WELCOME BACK! I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER!! 🧡🧡

I'm exactly the same, kalpas could flat out tell me he's in love and I would just overanalyze it and stand there squinting for a solid minute before going "neat! ANYWAY-"

BRIAN AND EMILE WERE AN ACCIDENT I just felt bad for being mean to Brian and Emile deserved a bf for putting up with Kalpas lol Emile is at the very least bi, you cannot convince me this man isn't going 👀👀 to half the guys on base at all times I both make the rules and enforce them, gay Emile is my son now I'm kidding kind of

KALPAS COUNTING ON HIS FINGERS IS LIKE ONE OF THE TOP 10 ER LOUNGE DIALOGUES and I constantly think about it and it's a problem lol also Kalpas grabbing reader's shoulder but they do that thing in 90s anime where they just show the same frame for actually a full minute with no sound or anything before suddenly moving????

I'm so glad you liked it!!! also hopefully I'll have new pieces up by the end of the week so you wont have to go so long!!

speaking of which, this is already way too long but I wanted to say that the next two requests are literally "soft kalpas" and "put us in the fucking angst zone" so I've been trying to get both done so they balance out, but it's obviously taken me a hot minute. I go back to school tomorrow, though classes don't start for another few days so I'm hoping to have both up by then! if I don't have the angst done, the soft kalpas is done (kind of, you'll see) and I'll put that up by Friday regardless of how far along the angst is!!

[waspenned]

sleepover headcannon :) tsam!peter getting high as shit and acting like a giggly little bimbo. not sure where else to go with the idea but i just feel like it fits him lol. i can also picture him as spidey on the rooftops rolling a joint and just chillin!

penn's 100 follower celebration

drug stuff under the cut oop

yes absolutely im so glad someone said it bc garf pete def dabbles and can roll a beautiful clean crisp j  (btw I would 100% teach him abt girl blunts he can use my pink papers and my rainbow lighter and I'll put some chamomile in there to help him sleep xx) anyway this is based off of personal expo..... (not proofread as per xxx its 4 am lol)

You could have sworn that you and Peter had been on the roof of his house for hours now, collapsing in fits of dizzy laughter every couple of seconds, but when you check your phone, it's only been five minutes.

Across from you, legs dangling from the roof, Peter squints at the blunt in his hands, his tongue pressed between his lips, stifling laughter, as he rolls. He's slower than something slow, like a turtle - why were turtles so slow anyway? 

“Stop laughing!" He hisses, barely suppressing a giggle, and then you're falling back, cackling, as he desperately attempts to shush you. He's speaking in jumbles of words, barely English, until the wind blows, and everything's suddenly serious; protecting the joint from the breeze with his life. After it dies down, you're both rolling around on the porch roof like spinning tops, laughter dissolving into silent wheezes and squeaks.

"Come on, blunt boy." You goad, watching him tongue at the paper, struggling to get it to stick. It, like everything else in the world, is the funniest thing you've ever seen, and your laughter sets him off, restarting his sentence a good five times before he manages to stumble his way through it.

"Stop! Stop! I have dry mouth!" He whines, pawing at the wrinkled paper. It's your second of the night, and already the quality has gone way down. You'd told him to preroll them, so you wouldn't have this problem in the first place, but he'd been as stubborn as ever. "Skip this song, it's not helping."

"What do you mean ‘Hotel Room Service’ isn't helping?!"

"Put on the long one! Put it on! Play it!" He means ‘Zungguzungguguzungguzeng’ by Yellowman, you think, and when you play it on your phone, Peter nods enthusiastically, his body bopping to entirely the wrong beat. You'd heard it a while ago in one of your New Girl marathons, and since then it had been a staple of your smoking sessions, even though it felt like it never ended. All of a sudden he spasms, shaking out his shoulders and looking around wildly. "Oh my God, I just got this huge shiver up my back, like I was touched by, like, an angel."

"It fuckem wimdy." You say, clearing up the rolling materials and loose papers, weighing them down with his awful, squeaky grinder so they didn't blow away in the cold Queens chill. Peter is apparently not convinced, glaring into the street, like he'd been back-poked by a phantom back-poker.

"No, seriously, I think it was an angel." He finally manages to get the glue to stick, packing the joint down towards the filter, before becoming alight with a gasp. "What if it was Yellowman?!"

"For the last time, Yellowman is alive, you thick bitch." You're watching him twist the end of the paper now, holding his lighter between his teeth, even though he keeps nearly dropping it, laughter bubbling through him.

"Wh...What two colours make yellow again?"

"Girl, oh my God."

[butteraway]

when time runs out | iv

⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

authors note: I wanna say im so sorry for lying to yall about that extra chapter KJDFFF😭😭 ALSO @chibiiichann I APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING YOU WHENEVER I REPLIED TO YOU💀 A DIFFERENT ACC WOULD POP UP BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS AN INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER EXPLAINING THE OC'S CONDITION JFJDJD

"HAHA! I GOTCHU NOW LOSER!" Y/N smashed the buttons on her controller, basically on the edge of her bed. A grunt was heard through her headphones, then a loud bang with laughing in the background. Y/N felt her stomach turn at the sound of this, feeling a little left out, but smiled nonetheless.

"HOW'D YOU EVEN DO THAT?!! YOU’RE DOING SOME HACKING MY GUY!" Denki yelled through the laughing in the background, hands pulling at his hair. He seriously couldn't believe it!

"I'm not! I just wanted to show Sero I'm way better at this game than you are. And turns out I am!" Y/N let out a loud laugh, falling backwards onto her pillow. After finding out that 'Tape Dispenser' went to her cousin’s school by hearing his voice in the back of Denki's room, she got to learn more about this Sero dude. She already knew this after their last game a few nights ago, but he was so chill. It was still insane for her to find out that her cousin and online friend went to the same hero school. The coincidences in this world. Y/N thought as she grinned.

"It's okay Kaminari, you still lasted a long time! But you did get brutally beat by Y/N at the end though..." Sero said, trying to raise Denki's low spirits, but only succeeded in making him more miserable. Rustling was heard through Y/N's headphones, making it obvious that there was movement happening.

"You don't understand Sero! THIS IS THE ONLY GAME I COULD FULLY BEAT THIS GIRL IN!" Denki shook Sero by the shoulders, quickly doing the action. Cackling was heard through the speakers while the girl wiped a tear from her eye. Sero laughed along, as he was pushed to the ground by Denki. His arms were crossed as he looked away, upset that Y/N managed to finally beat him in every game they played.

"It's okay Denki, not everyone can be as good as me!" Y/N exclaimed, getting up from her bed to start taping specific parts of her room. Kaminari continued to complain about his defeat to Sero, who only chuckled in response. As she finished taping the bottom of the walls, Y/N sat back on her bed, sighing in content.

"So, how are you? I'm doing terribly after being utterly destroyed by you, by the way." Said Kaminari, opening his water bottle and taking large gulps from it. Y/N felt her face light up as she remembered to tell Kaminari of her future activity.

"Bro, you won't believe this! So, basically, they're actually letting me paint my room! All by myself! How fricking cool is that?!" The girl laughed out loud, jumping on her bed in excitement. Kaminari's eyes widen, in surprise and slight fear, sitting up and taking in the new information.

"Wait, really? But isn't that like extremely dangerous? Cuz of the chemicals and what not??" He tried his best to keep his voice leveled, not noticing Sero look at him weirdly. That guy had no idea what was happening.

"Well, they said that they were gonna do something to the paint so it won't hurt me or anything, I don't know what, but-" Y/N was cut off by an extremely confused Sero. "Wait wait wait, hold on. I don't understand what's happening. How can paint harm you? Besides like...eating it. And what do you mean by 'finally getting to paint your room?’ Silence was the only answer he got. Sero gulped in embarrassment, thinking he asked a really personal question.

"Um, it's nothing du-" A loud 'shhhhhhh' was heard from Y/N, who let out a shaky breath. She never really told anyone, it's not like she could either way, being confined in the hospital room for a long time. She pushed a loose strand of her away from her face, preparing herself to tell Sero.

"Well, the reason is because I basically live in a hospital. I can't go outside, or have 'unpurified' air, as the doctors like to say, meaning my interactions with people and the outside world are extremely limited. That means anything that's not cleared of dust and germs, I guess, can be extremely harmful for me? As pathetic as it sounds, it could actually kill me, haha." It was quiet as Sero took in the information, a large wave of emotions crashing on him. A person shouldn't have to be locked in a room for the rest of their life. Especially someone who is such a sweet person like Y/N.

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that Y/N. If you don't mind me asking, how...how long have you been in the hospital?" The young girl answered with a quick 'Two years', and that's when Sero felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kaminari abruptly got up and headed towards his door.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you want something dude?" Kaminari's voice was low and trembling. It didn't take a genius to see that the blonde haired boy needed some time alone. "No thanks." Kaminari let out a hum, quickly exiting his room and closing the door shut. Sero heard the loud sniffs that slowly faded away, as he hung his head down.

"Hey, you good Sero? That was probably a lot to take in, sorry." Sero shook his head, letting a sad smile adorn his face. "It's fine, really. I actually feel honored that you're comfortable telling me. Feels like we're getting closer, to be honest." He smiled happily, meaning every word he said. And Y/N knew that. "Ha, we are though!" The air was tense, despite the two teenagers being in different rooms.

Y/N went to clear her throat, but was interrupted when a light knock echoed throughout her room. "Someone there?" Sero asked, noticing her silence and hearing the very faint knocking.

"Yeah, um Sero, I'll call you guys later, my doctor wants to talk." Y/N quickly replied, seeing Receen open the door and walk in with his thin suit on. Sero let out an ok and they hang up. Y/N finally took in how the doctor looked, noticeable eye bags under his blue-grey eyes, from lack of sleep. His dark hair slightly tousled, probably from putting on the protective helmet that came with the suit, and a small smile on his welcoming face. And a large container of paint in his left hand. Her eyes immediately lit up.

"What’s up doc? I see you have something in your hand, can I see it closer?" The small girl asked, getting up and making a grabbing motion with her hands. Receen chuckled, lifting up the paint for Y/N to see. Even if he were to hand her the container, she wouldn't be able to hold. She was just too weak. Said girl let out a high pitch 'OOOO ' in excitement.

"I'm not sure if you wanted more, but we managed to get you your favorite color! This should be enough to paint the room, you can even put a second layer if you want." Receen walked over to where Y/N put all the equipment, opening the container of paint. And with a low grunt from him, the lid was opened. Y/N watched with amazement as the doctor poured the soft looking paint into a tray. She picked up a roller near her, and drowned the roller in paint, the white fluff getting covered in color.

The two began painting, Y/N's hand shaking every now and then. After painting half the room, they sat in silence, resting for a while. Receen seemed to be tense, though Y/N didn't seem to notice since she was too happy to speak. Receen let out a breath, breaking the silence, causing Y/N to look towards him.

"I didn't get to ask you how you were, did I Y/N? How are you?" Said girl let a beaming smile spread on her face, causing Receen to slightly squint his eyes from the intensity of her smile. "Honestly, I haven't felt this happy in a very long time! I actually still can't believe you guys really let me do this! Thank you so much!"

Receen gave her a small smile while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a problem, you could’ve asked sooner and gotten this done a long time ago. You've been here for two years, so please don't be afraid of asking for things!" At the mention of her time spent in the hospital, Y/N lowered her head, causing Receen to wince. Well, might as well tell her. The doctor cleared his throat and began to talk.

"Y/N, as you are aware, I, along with many other doctors and scientists, have been working hard for you to be able to go outside again. To see your family, hug them, be a normal kid again." There was a pause and that alone caught Y/N's attention. She looked up at him. "There is a way for you to finally do that, Y/N."

Shock evident on the girl's face, she abruptly stood up and faced the doctor. There was absolutely no way anyone could have found a cure for someone like her. Someone who had an incurable sickness. Someone who was too sick, to even have medicine. He's lying. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the grown man sitting in front of her.

"With all due respect Doctor, I highly doubt that ​​that's possible. Cuz, y'know? I basically have an incurable disease? I mean, like, even if you did manage to find a way for me to leave this place, how do you even know it's gonna work? I don't think you've tried this medicine since no one in recorded hospital documents in the past have had people like that checked in before-"

"How do you even know that?"

"-so how do you truly know it'll work?" Y/N quickly finished, completely ignoring his statement. Receen sighed, scratching his head. "We live in a world where quirks exist. Would you believe me if I told you centuries ago that the human race would evolve to have super powers? It's kind of like that, but not really." Y/N eyed him suspiciously. He's avoiding the question.

Receen looked straight at the girl standing in front of him. He felt slightly intimidated by her piercing gaze. He quickly looked away and got up, towering over Y/N's small frame. Then he smiled. "Y/N, you are a very sweet girl, no doubt about it. I know how much you want to get out of here, and I want to help you. My team has created this almost perfect pill, especially suited for your sickness. I know you're very cautious, just like your mother, but I can only reassure you, that these are your ticket out of here." He pulled out the bottle from his protective suit, shaking it in front of [Y/N].

Her eyes widened as she restrained herself from reaching out and snatching the bottle. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she pulled herself together. Crossing her arms and slightly tilting her upwards, she looked into the doctor's bright eyes. "There's always a catch when it comes to these kinds of things. What's the price if I take these? My lifespan shortens, I only have five hours to go outside, it drugs me or something?"

"I'm hurt you think I would just give you these without setting out the consequences." There was a slight glint in his eyes before it quickly disappeared. Y/N hummed, urging the doctor to continue.

"There are exactly 15 pills in here. And consuming just one of these bad boys right here, would allow you to go outside! Though, time is very important when taking these. You'd have 10 hours before the pills effects wear off. These would dull your hypersensitive senses, but not to a point where you can't feel, smell or do anything. No no, it'd just be like how you were before. You'd feel slightly dizzy and be a little itchy, but besides that, nothing too extreme. It just dulls all your body senses down." Receen gave Y/N a small smile. She looked a little weary, unsure if what he said was true. She looked at the bottle then back to Doctor Receen, fingers twitching every now and then. Breathing in and letting it out slowly, Y/N stared straight into the doctor's eyes.

If I take these, I can finally go out. I can hug mom and dad, I can be around Denki again. I can meet Sero face to face and feel the grass again! I can be... happy again. But if these don't actually work, I'd immediately die on the spot. I'd be able to go outside though. Aah, so much going outside, I can meet new people! I don't wanna spend the rest of my days slowly rotting away in here anyway.

"So Y/N, are you going to take them or let all our time go to waste?"

Sero looked at his hands solemnly, thinking about what Y/N had told him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, then lightly slapped his cheeks to stop the wave of emotions from spilling out.

"Yo, you good dude? It's not everyday I see someone willingly slapping themselves." Kaminari chuckled, walking in and closing the door with his foot as he carried a soda bottle and a bag of chips towards the boy sitting on his bed. Sero grinned, feeling the sadness of everything wash away.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. But what about you though? After we had that conversation, you were, well, umm... kind of out of it." Kaminari froze, letting a dejected smile appear on his face. Dragging a hand down his face, he let out a sorrowful laugh.

"She's my best friend. My first real, true friend. She's basically my sister at this point. So when she collapsed that day, I felt my whole world crashing down. She is the sweetest, the most kindest, person I have ever met. She never let me degrade myself, alway cheered me up when people called me stupid." Kaminari rubbed his eyes, opening the bag of chips and plopping one of them into his mouth.

"It hasn't been the same ever since she left, her parents barely come over anymore, and they're always so sad whenever I see them. My own parents aren't the same either, they treated her like their own daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how Y/N feels about this all. She was the top in our grade, highest scores in our test. No one could compare to her. M-my heart breaks for her. She lost everything." Sero let that information sink in, thinking about how she was before. He smiled as he saw Kaminari's shoulders begin to shake. He cares so much for her.

He put his hand on his shoulder, watching Kaminari slowly lift his face towards him. "Come here you emotional ball of feelings." Being the friendly guy he is, Sero gave the sobbing boy a hug, cuz hugs fix everything.

"No homo though bro." And with that, they both laughed out loud, continuing their bro day.

[whatamievendoingherern]

TALKING TO EXPLOSION BOY (BNHA)

Cat: Lil floof and if you squint, angst

Agender! Reader was nervous about their internship with Thirteen already, but throw in the sparky porcupine? Anxiety maxed out. But surprisingly, he just isn’t as explosive as usual. (Reader has a fire related quirk)

Y/N remembered when they first decided to try out for cross country.

It was the summer before 8th grade when they vowed to make themself into a person they could like. Their sister had given them a ride to the school, they’d retied their sneakers about fifteen times on the way, and they’d practically had a death grip on that poor plastic water bottle.

They’d been so nervous that they refused to get out of the car. They remembered knowing absolutely nobody on the team, feeling so socially inept because they hadn't talked to anybody all summer. It wasn't until their sister reassured them that they finally found themself unlocking the door.

That's what they thought internships were gonna be like.

But rather than the hellish experience their middle school self endured, it was quite different.

They chose to intern with Thirteen to learn how to use their quirk in rescue scenarios. Thirteen, who they’d recently learned went by xe/xyr pronouns, was a pretty nice person, who took their wall of awkwardness and formality into consideration.

Y/N was finally letting the wall drip down a bit, allowing Thirteen to see their real personality. And the acceptance was nice.

That's why they didn't really mind it when Thirteen said xe needed to drop by Best Jeanist's agency. Something to do with the author and plot lines.

So they followed Thirteen through the building, politely smiling at the passersby they happened to make eye contact with. The two stopped at a door in the building, pushing it open, and just like that feeling of finding someone you know in your home town, Y/N felt like they’d been smacked with frying pan.

Bakugo and Y/N made eye contact from both sides of the room, a silence as his hair sprung back to its normal state.

Oof.

If the rest of the Bakusqud were here, Y/N probably would've been able to sneak in a laugh under Mina, Sero, and Kaminari’s cackling, but alas that was not the case. And despite the self destructive ramblings of Y/N’s rather common mental breakdowns, they valued their life.

Best Jeanist sighed as though this weren't the first time this occurred, flicking his comb into his pocket. "Thirteen." He said in greeting. "What brings you here?"

"I just need to do some touch ups on the paperwork for the collab takedown we did last week. Turns out the villains quirk wasn't energy mutation." Xe replied, while Y/N suddenly begun to wish they had Hagakure's quirk instead as Bakugo’s eyes burned into their skull.

"Is that your intern?"

Uh oh.

"Yep," Thirteen said, pushing Y/N forward much to their dismay. "They’ve got quite the quirk."

Best Jeanist hummed in response, having been there in the stadium. He remembered sending them an invite to intern with him after the festival, but he supposed they were searching for something specific.

"You two are in the same class right?" Best Jeanist asked. Y/N stiffened as he acknowledged Bakugo's presence. Without waiting for a response, he carried on, "You two stay here. Thirteen, the reports in my office."

And despite every cell in their body yelling at the two to stay, the door closed behind the two leaving both Bakugo and Y/N in immediate discomfort.

Silence.

Y/N looked around the room at anything and everything except for Bakugo. They spotted a chair, the only other one in the room placed right across from the blonde porcupine.

With an internal groan, they shuffled over to the chair, sitting uncomfortably still as they pulled out their phone. They stared at the screen, pretending to be doing something while attempting to negotiate a ceasefire with the whatever deity above was listening.

Whatever I did to deserve this, I am so sorry. It'll never happen again, bro, just get me tf outta here rn before my soul skrrt skrrts from my body-

Oh no, now their nose was itchy. The temptation was there, but the risk of drawing attention was even greater. Were they gonna sneeze? Were there tissues in here? Jeez did hearts always beat so loudly? And what is up with the whole breathing thing? It sounds like there's gonna be a whole goddamn tornado-

"Hey. Depressed Flambé."

Y/N hesitantly looked up from their screen, wondering if they placed their funeral plans in an obvious enough location. Top left drawer of their dresser, beneath their will. Dang they forgot to write if they wanted red camellias or white camellias. Surely class 1-A would know they were a red camellias type of lad. And they had to change the song from "Thriller" to "E-Girls Are Ruining My Life", ya know, get with the times-

"I know you're avoiding me. Your damn phone isn't even on." Bakugo's brash voice said, and they suddenly felt like dropping an anvil on their head.

Y/N gave a smile that may as well have said, "I've been caught" and tucked the phone into their pockets where their hands could fidget out of view.

Silence.

Depressed Flambé, Y/N pondered.

They hadn't thought they had a nickname, they figured since they had barely interacted with him all year that they were in the clear.

Guess not.

Their thoughts and the room stayed radio silent for a bit before they hesitantly spoke up, "Trying out a new hair style?"

"Mention it to the rest of 1-A and I’ll kill you!" He barked defensively, huffing when he saw them flinch almost unnoticeably. "He won't let me patrol with him until I 'reform my appearance' or some bullshit like that."

Y/N nodded, though they didn't really see much difference. He was intimidating either way, one just made him look a little more idiotic. "Some bullshit sounds about right." Y/N replied, trying to let themself relax.

Bakugo seemed content with their response, and once again the two fell into silence. And just like a hand reaching out, they felt their voice wanting to come out, to keep talking, but maybe he didn't want to. Maybe it'd be better to take the chance and have no regrets later? But what if he just told them to shut up? They probably would never get over that. It was probably best if they-

"How's your internship?" Bakugo asked, clearly uncomfortable with asking the question. He wasn't even making eye contact which was supposed to be Y/N’s thing.

By the author's grace, was this the power of those behind the divine fourth wall?

"It's good!" Y/N said, a little too quickly for their liking.

Stupid social anxiety.

"Um, Thirteen's trying to teach me how to use my quirk in rescues." They added slowing their words, before their voice lowered into a murmur. "I just kind of wish I knew that they don't really teach fighting techniques."

"Well why don't you teach yourself?" He asked.

Why do you have such good hearing, they thought. "I mean I tried a while ago, but I wouldn’t know where to start."

"Is the phone you were using to avoid me just for show or can you actually use it? Just look some up or walk yourself to a library."

OML THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT HE GOT THROUGH A SENTENCE WITHOUT CURSING OR INSULTING ANYBODY IM SO PROUD OF YOU, BRO, WE NEED TO CELEBRATE THIS MOMENTOUS OCCASION- "I guess that make sense." Y/N replied, sheepish but surprised.

They really thought it would be like that first day at cross country. Like everyone would be looking at them, judging them, ostracizing them. But it was all their head, just as it was then, just as it was now.

There was a gap of (you guessed it) silence, but this time it was less awkward, more...comfortable.

"It's too bad, Best Jeanist, isn't what you thought he would be." Y/N said.

He hummed in response.

"It seems more like he's trying to change you than train you." They thought aloud.

"It's annoying. I wish he'd finish this damn haircut, so I can skip to the fun part, and kick somebody’s ass."

Y/N snorted audibly. "If it's about getting it to stay, I think I can help."

Bakugo raised an eyebrow, which before may have had them thinking they were on his kill list, but now not so much. "You do hair?"

"I mean, I take care of mine almost every morning, and I'm pretty good with gel at this point so why not?" They shrugged.

"Hurry up then, I don't want to have to do this for any longer than I have to."

"Your hair is surprisingly soft."

"Shut up, Flambé!"

"Seriously, what conditioner do you use?"

"I WILL BLOW YOU UP RIGHT NOW!"

•••

"Thanks for stopping by Thirteen, it's been nice." Best Jeanist said, as the two stepped out of his office.

Thirteen replied. "No problem. See you around."

The two turned to the other duo and though neither visibly shown it, the surprise remained present.

"Did you do his hair?" Thirteen asked in mild confusion.

Best Jeanist was past the point of mere confusion, he was borderline baffled. "You fixed it?!"

Y/N tucked away a comb granted by the author, "Magic."

"Are we gonna patrol now or what?" Bakugo asked, a grin tugging at his lips.

Even though it looked borderline evil, Y/N was still pretty proud they made him smile. Even if he looked like he was about commit a homicide.

A/N Feel free to hit me up via anything if you have any requests. Whether it’s headcanons, scenarios, or different pronouns lemme know! I really like writing these and wanna make everybody feel ✨comfy✨💕

[star-ocean-peahen]

okay first of all AIKJEGNVLAJBEWFAEF HOLY FUCK THIS LITERALLY MADE MY DAY THANK YOU SO MUCH

mmmmmmmmMMMMMMM THATS A BRILLIANT IDEA FOR HIS DAD'S BACKSTORY YEP CANON NOW THATS HOW THEY MET AND GOT CLOSE

and about Shei's physical traits: oh MAN you've opened the floodgates here we goooooooooo

yes his dad is Chinese and he's visibly identified as Chinese as well!! But he does have some of his mom's facial features, like her jawline and lips. Other than his ears you wouldn't look at him and go "huh he looks like the queen" unless you saw them standing next to each other and squinted real hard.

And the circumstances of the queen's pregnancy—I LOVE your idea where Shei's dad was delivering her wine on the regular and they got too close!! He wouldn't dare tell anyone for fear of execution and obviously she'd be keeping her mouth shut. Buuut when she got pregnant she really hoped it was the king's baby............but when her son was born he was very visibly the winemaker's baby. So she bribed the midwives into keeping mum (executing them would be a biiiiit too dark for the tone I'm going for but otherwise Yes that Would Have Happened) and spread the word that her child was stillborn. She might have had children after that, but they didn't live to adulthood because (here we go) the tyrannical reign of the current queen was inspiring a revolution and a group of plotters staged a coup and killed all the known members of the royal family, which is why Shei was literally the last of the goddess' bloodline. A new royal line (and dynasty) was established. The dynasty in the current era is actually the successor to the one that overthrew the line of Hylia, since so much time has passed.

Also i LOVE Shei's new grandpa I gotta find some way to work him in

I do love the queen's ruthlessness.....and I definitely feel like it's in line with her character as a tyrant.....but I feel like razing the vineyard and tavern and executing Shei's dad would be a bit too intense? Like SOMEONE'S gotta be left behind to grieve for him. Idk I just feel like Id like to contrast Link who doesn't know or remember what she lost before Faerie with Shei who remembers the peace and happiness he lost with perfect clarity.

and yessssss he had some signs of magic before holding the goddess blood-essence. It's my personal hc that anyone of the line of Hylia has light magic powers, regardless of whether they hold the GBE or not.

sarcasm isn't in his nature but I agree with you he DEFINITELY has a lot of pent up aggression and hurt from his mom. Anger is often a defensive mechanism for hurt, and even if it's not his primary reaction, letting himself feel angry about what happened to him would probably be a major step in acknowledging his pain and fear, since he would have been way too terrified to let himself feel that before. I also think seeing Link fight back against someone who hurt HER so badly would trigger that, so after that big fight we can have some excellent angst where Shei starts getting really angry and a bit aggressive but not really knowing why until it clicks. Like, generally, I imagine him to be relatively emotionally aware e.g. being able to deal with his emotions once he can identify them. It's id'ing them that he has the problem with 😂 Anyway I think it would be cool if this was an opportunity to show a different side to him that we wouldn't normally see—just a much-needed reminder that our boi ain't perfect.

and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck hhhhhhhhhhhhh mother of DIN that snippet is PAINFUL

okay first?? sword that inflicts wounds that never heal??? genius?? a bit too pg-13 for this vibe (actually time out I don't personally mind gore and more extreme stuff like execution and shit i think it's genius and im enjoying this angle very much but like for this story im keeping a more zelda-y vibe and im kinda already stretching it with the child abuse and stuff so while i do LOVE your ideas i can't declare them canon) but yes???? AND THE FUCKING LINE ABOUT THE CALLBACK TO HIS MOM THAT'S PERFECT THATS FUCKING PERFECT HAM I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE HOW PERFECT THAT IS

and paralleling Shei and Link's abusers??? uhm??? how are you this good at writing my own story??? hhhhhhhhhhhhh now all we need is for Ganon and Stella to complete the trifecta-

WAIT

SHIT

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YES PARALLEL GANON TO BOTH OF THEM YES YES YES i mean it won't be the same since she's. just his soldier. BUT YES PARALLEL THEM

And as for your questions about Ganon and Stella's origins, the answer is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,✨i don't know yet✨😭😭

so. hhhrm. since Apparently im rewriting my story structure so that Shei doesn't die (because i HAVE TO 😤) im thinking that instead of him dying from snake boss venom and handing off the goddess blood-essence to Stella..................he just gets really sick and passes off the GBE then.........because he thinks he's dying......and you have to go on a whole quest to gather ingredients to make an antidote and save his life............but i want stella to have some space to shine so shei has to shove over at some point here..........i mean i guess i could just give him a break and some quieter moments of character developement so she could get some time..............agh im thinking out loud and going nowhere

ANYWAY revisiting the whole Ganon thing I feel like Dorfy's shit is not really noticing when things are Not Going His Way and just sending minions to bonk his problems on the head and all of that would be exacerbated when he's Ganon not Ganondorf soooooooooo apply that to stella especially if he's Undorfy he would just be like "-1 stal soldier huh" and just send more because hes a fucken idiot like that

like if we imagine all our main antagonists as a team (which, unfortunately, they are not in this universe) Fae King and Tyrant Queen would 100% hold all the braincells. Ganon would just be there to be scary.

OOOOOOOOOO WAIT I JUST—HOLD ON

so OBVIOUSLY i said he was centralized in the castle and i ALSO said there's a tyrannical monarchy against which there's an active revolution SO instead of that being a plothole we can have Ganon holding the current figurehead captive while we run around gathering support for the resistance so when we beat Ganon and free the figurehead they're met with a slew of pointy objects and a throne long gone

hhhhhhh okay sorry i just had to figure that out

AAAANYway that would be One Fucking Cool Way for Shei to die and I will file it away under my "Unfortunately Not Canon" story beats

Okay thank you SO MUCH for interacting with me today and listening to me ramble but i am V Tired so gonna break it off for today. thank you SO MUCH

tell me ALL THE THOUGHTS about shei's father

AHAHAHA WELL. PREPARE YOURSELF.

Alright so. Shei's family situation in general but mostly his dad right. And the Queen didn't want him to protect her public image so she sent Shei away with his father... I wonder how that interaction went down- because rn I have. A pretty frigid "character image" of her, I mean. She sent her child away with her secret lover. And on top of that, she locked her teenage bastard son in the dungeon when news finally broke out... I'm not sure what became of Shei's father after that but I almost wanna assume he was executed for spreading conspiracies or something. Or if he wasn't, he would've come to plead at the stairs of her throne, and maybe the same would've played out. He just loved (her) the crown. A little too much, some might say.

I like to think that Shei comes from a long line of... brewers? I'm not sure the correct term for it, but they make good wine and beer and stuff. Which leads into my next headcanon, that because they’re known for their wine and stuff, the Royal Family just had to have them in their staff. And that was how Shei's father and the Queen met. Maybe the Queen was stressed and drink helped take the edge off, and Shei's father was just... there to unburden herself on. And because of his station/class, he'd thought that meant something. He doesn't expect the baby to be shoved into his arms and to be sent away- but he gets it. If the King(? Is there one?) If anyone knew... all the more reason to send them away. As much as it breaks his heart.

I might be making this one up but I think I remember reading in one of your posts Shei having longer ears than most Hylians and I like to think that that's a royal trait. And you mentioned him being mixed (I think) Chinese and I like to think that comes from his dad so, although he has the huge royal ears his face just as much if not even more of a dead give away that he's the Queen's bastard child, especially when there are rumors of one. I'm not sure if Shei ever meets his grandfather but I have and incredibly specific incredibly brief Thing about him. That Shei's grandfather is ex-military, and while fighting got hurt. Permanent limp in his gait. Got sent home. Very strict/stern. I figure maybe Shei's father talks about him in passing as Shei grows up, and maybe they have a portrait of him hung up somewhere.

Back to the Queen- I think you killed her off to pass off the Goddess Essence in the latter years of Shei's captivity. I'm desperate to know by what.

Another thing I don't think I touched on about Shei's father/but also the queen. I think she'd totally order the tavern (and if they have one, the vinyard) razed to its foundations. On top of thereafter executing Shei's father. I'm not sure if she or someone else would go to tell him. If the queen went to go tell him herself... oof. That'd be some first impression to make upon meeting your child for the first time... "hey, I murdered your dad! Sucks for you lol"

Oh! Speaking of! ...Shei has magic previous to yknow. The Goddess Essence being passed along to him? I'm definitely curious about that, if that's going to stay a thing and the implications of that 👀👀👀👀👀

But yea I don't imagine Shei is very happy about that, and being denied revenge or justice via crystal time capsule so um. I bet he has abit of Repressed anger 👀👀👀 that he lets out maybe passive aggressively 👀👀👀👀👀 or sarcasm and mean smiles 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I'm serious. I'm telling you, Fae King would not stand a CHANCE

Edit under the cut bc I don't know when to quit

Tw for gorey subjects but I mean. We talked about executions so

Pspspsps what if Fae King caught him off guard tho 👀👀👀👀

Ough the angst 😩🤌

Shei always being confrontational, always needing Link to save him, thinking he's done it this time and he's got the upper hand, he's saved his friends, he's returned the favor. Only to find the other end of the Fae King's rapier protruding through his gut. At this point, he's lived through so many near death experiences. Giant spiders and monsters, poisonings, and now this?

But let's say there's something... funky about this here sword.

Neither opponent moves. Shei, hurting, for fear of further injury. The Fae King, sadist, reveling in his power gives the hilt a little jiggle. Shei feels his insides mix. The Fae King leans in, and because that's always a good thing, he smiles.

"Do you know why they call this sword the Bleeding Edge, boy?"

Shei doesn't, and he doesn't get more than a second to answer before it's ripped out of him with a great, maniacal laugh.

"That's because the wounds it makes never heals, stupid boy!"

Shei hits his knees, clutching his gut. He can barely understand what Fae King's saying through the panic.

"They bleed like pigs and you're bleeding all over my floor!"

He must snicker because-

"What's so funny?"

"You just... remind me of someone." Shei grins. "She didn't like when people bled on her things either."

It'd be HILARIOUS if the Queen and the Fae King had similar/parallel fates, like if the Queen died in a revolt or something. I think I remember you saying the old castle being in some sorta ruin so It'd be reasonable if there was some sort of "disaster" that happened. Plus wasn't Ganon like. Sealed under the castle for some reason? I'm BEGGING for more elaboration on that- juicy 👀👀👀👀👀👀

But ya it'd be funny if they shared fates. Plus Link would be even more bite kill maim than before since Fae King killed Shei (and took his essence? 👀👀👀)

I'm not sure if that's a confrontation that Link and Stella are gonna be able to wrap up in a nice little bow. And by that I mean. Actually kill the Fae King. Plus I think it'd be really cool if we could see Fae King and Ganon work together maybe? Ik I keep bringing him up but I'm like 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 I definitely wanna see how the power scales and Ganon's role other than big bad you gotta kill. I wonder how he feels about Stella galvanizing with the heroes... if he tries to bring her back or use that to his advantage. If he doesn't have her killed (personally or otherwise) first. And I wonder how Stella feels, if she misses that life. If she considers going back, because Shei is dead and at least Ganon isn't- but then there's Link and well. Shei would want them to take care of each other, right?

Hhhhhhh I might be back with more thoughts