#this literally ripped through my chest when i heard it last night

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

How is it that Game of Thrones of all shows has one of the best mottos about disability that I've ever heard:

"Some people will always need help. Doesn't mean they aren't worth helping."

[idwt-money]

Sleepless Nights

MDNI 18+

1.5k words, Noah Sebastian x fem!reader

CW: unprotected sex, oral sex (fem rec), slight spit play(??), tiny bit of aggression

“Fuck, Noah..” whispers were almost silent in the room. Words that wouldn’t be remembered in the morning. 

It was ungodly hours in the morning and it was the first night Noah was back from tour. He would usually be dead asleep, snoring and mumbling in his sleep by now but you made this tour…especially excruciating. 

You would send him pictures of yourself in new lingerie while he was away, forcing him to jerk off in a tiny tour bus bathroom. Having to be dead silent due to the, quite literal, paper-thin walls of said tour bus. 

You hadn’t been able to help but giggle to yourself when this happened. He would send you texts back almost immediately. Something along the lines of “I’m going to fuck you until your head is spinning.”

You had never held him to his words as he was usually a shy boy. Although this behavior was unusual, you didn't think much of it. You figured he had gained confidence over the phone. 

Once he had actually gotten home, he almost immediately pinned you against the wall of your shared home and took you like a rabid animal.

It took you by surprise, really. Usually you were the one to initiate, but this was nothing you were complaining about. 

And here you are now, ass up and Noah having no mercy on your poor body.

“What baby? Didn’t think I meant what I said in those texts did you?” His words were sparse between grunts and huffs from all the pleasure his touched starved cock was receiving in the moment. 

He knew you couldn’t respond, not only because your sentence would just be a string of moans and pathetic whimpers, but also due to the fact he had a fist full of your hair, pushing your face into the duvet.

God, you wished and hoped that he would turn you over so you could see how devilishly sinful he looked. 

That thought lasted maybe 30 seconds when Noah slapped your ass, with much force, bringing you close to your first orgasm of the night. 

You didn’t have to say anything, Noah knew your body better than you did. Your legs began to shake, your pussy tightened around him and your muffled cries and pleas were becoming louder by the second. 

“Give it to me. I want it now.” 

With Noah’s permission you let your orgasm rip through you like lightning bolts. It made your vision go blurry before you shut your eyes. 

It dozed through you before coming to an end. You had never gone for so long without an orgasm caused by your lover.

You both were highschool sweethearts and up until the tour, you hadn’t gone even an entire 2 weeks without seeing each other, let alone fuck. 

With no words shared, Noah moved you onto your back and thank god he did. He looked just as you imagined. His hair was messy and falling in his face due to the utterly unforgiving thrusts he had been fucking into you. 

“There’s my pretty girl. So so good for giving yourself to me.” His voice was ridden with a tone somewhere between lust and love. He had slowed his thrusts, just long enough to give you a kiss to your lips. It was messy and unfathomably pussy throbbing. Your tongues were swirling around each other as if they were dancing to an unheard beat. Saliva was starting to pool down your chin but when he pulled away, you couldn’t be bothered to wipe it away. Noah grabbed your legs, pulled you closer and went at an unrelenting pace. You knew he was close but not this close. 3 or 4 thrusts later he was letting curse words leave his lips and he spilled his load onto your stomach. 

His chest heaved and gasped for air as he milked his cock for the remains of his orgasm. The words he was growling out seemed to have come somewhere deep within his diaphragm. Almost like he was on stage screaming for thousands of people. Neither of you cared about how loud you were being or if any of the neighbors had heard you. In this very moment, it was just you two. 

You had made eye contact before watching him sink to his knees, off of the bed and dive into your pussy like it was a divine meal meant for the gods. The wet noises coming from Noah’s mouth immediately sent your two hands into his hair. No matter how nasty you two fucked, he always treated your pussy like his last meal on earth, being sure to treasure every lick, slurp and gulp. 

“Oh fuck, Noah” When he wrapped your lips around your already sensitive clit, it caused your body to jolt. Your thighs clenched around his head and your fingers to pull at his hair. 

Grunts escaped his mouth, his now being muffled due to the position you had him trapped in. In which only caused you more pleasure. The vibrations of his now low moans made your mind foggy. You started to take it into your own hands and grind against his tongue. 

Noah seemingly didn’t like the idea of you taking charge and left a hefty slap to your thigh. 

“We’re doing this at the pace I want. I waited far too fuckin’ long to taste you. I am in charge. Understand?” His voice was low and husky, causing a rush of wetness straight to your pussy. You nodded, thinking it would give him satisfaction of an answer. It didn’t.

“Use your fucking words y/n” He had a look of the slightest irritation written on it. 

“Yes sir.” Your words were quiet but it did the job as he went back down, taking long, thoughtful strokes to your clit. Your mouth fell open and your eyes collapsed closed, taking in nothing the warm, wet feeling of his devilish tongue. 

Noah could genuinely go on forever between your legs, he, a couple times, had gone until you were crying and his jaw was sore. It was almost like he enjoyed watching you squirm and shake due to his tongue rather than actually fucking you. 

Your moans had now gone high pitched, and the once slow, languid licks of his tongue were now fast and on the borderline of being dangerous. 

“Baby- oh fuck! Please keep going. I’m so so so close!” You once again rested your hands in his hair as a poor excuse to try and ground yourself. 

Noah didn’t say a word, instead giving you silent praise by swirling his tongue around your clit.

Another orgasm crashed into you and it was almost debilitating. 

Your eyes had rolled to the back of your head, Noah brought you in closer with a grasp on your hips and you were spent. 

He pulled away, licking his lips and slightly cleaning the mess your cunt had made dripping down his chin.

“You taste like heaven itself. Holy shit.” He said in disbelief.

He climbed atop of you and shared a chaste kiss with you, venturing his way down your neck. He left small bites and small hickies here and there, in some sort of proof you were his and no one else could ever have you in the way he does.

Despite what Noah had planned in his own world, you went against it and forced him to lay down, now hovering over his cock.as you sunk down onto him, his nails sunk into your hips. 

You softly grinded down onto him, throwing your head back and biting your lip as an attempt to stop yourself from smiling too big.

Once you got comfortable on top of him, you situated your legs and started to bounce up and down on his cock. Noah was now being more vocal with curses, groans, huffs, grunts. Whatever his body could do to help the overpowering sensation of pleasure.

This time, you weren’t worried about achieving your own orgasm but wanted to pull one more out of Noah before you both were too tired. 

“Come on handsome. I know you got it in you, give it to me.”

Noah had an undeniable thing for praise and encouragement in these situations, contrary to popular belief. 

“Mhm, just like that, just like that. Shit!” His voice was worn out now, giving it more of a soft moan rather than his previous growls.

Within seconds he was unfolding in front of your eyes, his breathing became shallow and his eyes were pinched closed, focusing on getting him to topple over the edge of pure bliss. As his mouth fell open, he released everything into you. As he came, his grip on your hips dug deeper and you wouldn’t have been surprised if you had bruises the next day. 

As soon as he was done with his orgasm, you toppled over onto his chest, even though you were dirtied with his previous orgasm. He softly rubbed your back as he whispered soft words of adoration to you. 

Soon enough helped you clean off what mess he made in your rendezvous earlier. Once you were in bed, you made a small conversation consisting of how much you missed him while he was away from you.

[ellieluvr420]

Friends? Never. Pt.23 (Ellie Williams x reader)

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

OMG she actually posted, what a day! Sorry guysssss, when I tell you life has been crazy but I'm back and I promise these fics will get finished if it is the last thing I do!

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

“I’m not sick.” Ellie punctuated her sentence with a cough that ripped through her chest and reverberated around the room. 

“Ellie you have a fever, you’re sweating and you’re pale and you just coughed in my face. You’re sick.” You had been going round in circles for too long and you were tired. Clem had brought home a virus from school and despite your best-efforts Ellie had also caught it, though she wasn’t ready to accept that yet. 

“Babe, I’m literally fine.” Ellie jumped out of bed before you could stop her and immediately swayed, you grabbed her by the waist to steady her as her arms wrapped around your neck. Her forehead came to rest on your shoulder as she whimpered quietly. She was clinging onto you for dear life as you huffed at her stubbornness. 

“Yeah you seem perfectly fine.” You snarked at her. “Get back in bed.” The tone of your voice made it clear there was no room for discussion as you gently lowered her to lay back down. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely audible as her eyebrows scrunched and she pouted slightly. 

“For what? You can’t help being sick.” She sighed but interrupted herself with another chesty cough as you brushed away the hairs that had stuck to her forehead from the cold sweat. “I’m gonna go check on patient zero then I’ll make you some tea okay?” 

“I love you, so much.” 

“That fever’s making you sappy huh?” 

“Fuck you.” Despite her words, her tone was laced with love as she chuckled quietly. 

“I love you too El, sit tight.” You pressed the back of your hand to her forehead once more before leaving her to check on Clem in her room. 

Clem wasn’t much better off than Ellie, she looked sullen, barely meeting your eyes as you walked into her room to check on her. It pained you, wrenched at your heart to see them both so weak and tired.  

“Hi baby, did you get much sleep?” You checked on her through the night, unable to get any decent sleep but eventually exhaustion had taken over and you had collapsed into bed next to Ellie for a few hours. You wanted to remark how much of a miracle it was that you hadn’t got ill yet but that felt like you’d be tempting fate so you pushed the thought out of your mind as quickly as it came.  

“I slept okay, when will I get better mommy?” That caused a pit in your stomach, knowing you couldn’t give her an answer to that. 

“I don’t know honey, it won’t be long.” You could tell by the scrunch of her eyebrows that didn’t help. “Tell you what, why don’t I take you to cuddle with mama while I make you both some breakfast? Does that sound good?” Her eyes lit up and she nodded while sniffling as she sat up. You carried her to yours and Ellie’s room and the smile on both their faces when they saw each other warmed you. 

“Hey kiddo, not feeling any better?” Ellie’s voice was nasally and scratchy but you couldn’t help but smile as she sat up slightly and shifted to make more room for Clem to lay with her. 

“No, are you sick too mama?” 

“Just a little bit baby, but don’t worry about me.” Ellie immediately wrapped her arms around Clem as you set her down on the bed and Clem snuggled into her side as you went to make breakfast. 

“Sorry I made you sick mama.” You heard Clem whisper sheepishly as you reached the door, pausing to her Ellie’s reply. 

“Don’t be silly, it’s not your fault, these things happen. Just focus on getting better hm, you can go back to sleep if you’re tired.” You smiled and walked downstairs to start breakfast humming to yourself quietly. 

When you returned with two mugs of tea, a plastic one for Clem, while the porridge heated on the stove Ellie smiled sadly at you. 

“What’s up babe?” Her cheeks flushed as her eyebrows scrunched, she looked visibly distressed and your heart clenched. 

“Started my period yesterday.” She looked embarrassed, she couldn’t make eye contact as she said it and you almost chuckled at how silly she was being. 

“Oh babe, you’re having a tough time. Cramps bad?” She nodded. “Lucky I grabbed that hot water bottle then isnt it? I’ll go boil some water for it, breakfast won’t be long now. Do you need help getting to the toilet or anything?” 

“No I’m okay, thank you, I don’t deserve you.” 

“Stop saying that!” You scolded gently as you left her to go check the bathroom and make sure you’d have enough pads for her, luckily there were still a lot from the last pack you had found on patrol but Maria was always very good at trying to make sure Jackson had a good supply of period products for the town, people were even attempting to make reusable pads.  

You finished the porridge with honey for Ellie and jam for Clem before filling the hot water bottle and taking everything upstairs, Ellie’s eyes lit up as you walked in, even sick, she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen, you’d kiss her over and over again even at the risk of getting ill but she had forbid you to try and stop you from getting sick, the thought was nice but you were struggling.  

“Eat up and drink your teas, I can make juice, do you guys want juice?” You felt useless and your rambling indicated that to Ellie as you pressed the hot water bottle to her stomach, barely meeting her eyes. 

“Babe, we’re okay, take a breath.” 

“I know, I just hate seeing you both sick.” Ellie nodded in understanding and smiled before turning her attention to Clem who was eyeing the porridge like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. 

“You put jam in it! That’s my favourite. Thank you mommy.” 

“It’s okay baby, El there’s honey in yours.” 

“You know me so well.” She smiled giddily before picking up her spoon and eating with a satisfied hum. 

“Clemmy, after breakfast do you think you’ll want to nap or can I give you a bath?” 

“We can do it after, I love you mommy.” 

“Aw I love you more sweetie, now c’mon, eat up.” You pinched her cheek gently and smiled as she giggled and continued eating before turning your attention back to Ellie. “Is the hot water bottle helping love?” 

“Mhm it’s perfect, you’re the best.” 

“You’re cute, I’ve got a couple things to do so I’ll be back in a bit okay, shout if you need me.” You smiled and exited leaving to eat and then tidy up the kitchen from making breakfast. You could hear Ellie and Clem coughing every so often but you mostly heard them giggling, even ill and tired, they still made each other laugh and it gave you peace as you sat and ate your porridge.  

You decided to make some orange juice from the oranges you had gotten from the market yesterday as they needed their vitamins and you knew they’d pull the sick card to get out of eating vegetables for dinner tonight.  

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧   

“You ready for a bath baby?” Clem nodded and smiled as you walked in. “How you feeling El? Need anything?” 

“I’m okay, stop worrying about me.” 

“Just won’t happen, sorry. We’ll be back soon.” You bathed Clem and by the time you were done she was nodding off so you set her down in her bed to let her sleep before returning to Ellie, finding her curled in on herself clutching her stomach. “Oh babe, have they gotten worse?” 

“I’m-” 

“You’re not fine so don’t say you are. You are allowed to be in pain. Want me to rub your back?” She gulped at your stern tone and then smiled sheepishly as she nodded, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. 

“I don’t want you to get sick.” She practically pleaded as you sat and pulled her to lay on your chest, her cheek squishing slightly making her look so sweet. 

“Well I don’t care, just let me take care of you.” You started rubbing her back and the contented sigh that escaped her lips had you grinning. “Clem’s sleeping, she’s never been this tired, I didn’t realise how much I’d miss her whirlwind of energy.” 

“I know, I hate seeing her like this. I was telling her puns while you were gone and she was laughing but eventually she just got tired and wanted to sit with me. She’s not herself.” 

“Neither of you are. Think this virus is gonna take down the whole of Jackson at some point.” 

“Hey at least it won’t happen on the farm.” 

“Just another reason to move, I’m so excited. I did a bit more packing this morning.” 

“Babe wait until I’m better and I’ll help.” 

“Ellie, it’s fine, why are you being so weird about being ill? You can’t help it.” 

“I know, I just feel useless, you already do so much for us and now you’re having to look after us too.” 

“I don’t have to do anything, I do it because I want to, I like taking care of my family. You’re not useless anyway, you kept Clem occupied and happy so I could get things done, so just please drop it, you’re perfect.” 

“You think?” She met your eyes and they sparkled for the first time today. 

“I know.” You smiled and bent down but she put a hand over your lips. 

“Hey, no kissing, I’m not risking it.” 

“What difference does it make? You’re laying all over me.” You huffed. 

“It’s different.” You rolled your eyes and then spotted her tea, you reached for it and took a large gulp of it. 

“See, we’ve already swapped germs, no point holding back now.” You smiled smugly as she frowned until she also smiled, relenting and leaning up to press a sweet kiss to your lips. 

“Happy now?” 

“So happy. If you’ve still got cramps, I can run you a bath, will probably help with the pain.” 

“You just want to get me naked.” She quirked an eyebrow as she snorted at her own remark. 

“I never said anything about me being there, just that I would run it. But glad to know you’re still well enough to have such a dirty mind.” 

“Oh whatever.” She huffed and pinched your waist as you chuckled. 

“Do you want the bath or not?” 

“In a second? I like laying here.” 

“Okay babe.” You pressed a kiss to the top of her head and let her relax into you once more as you rubbed soft circles over her back, Ellie had always been one to suffer in silence and it never annoyed you any less, so seeing her admit, even if it was with difficulty, that she isn’t feeling her best was more than you could have expected from her. “Kinda wish you were ill more often so I could take care of you like this.” 

“Erm... thanks.” She chuckled as you squeezed her slightly and feathered kisses all over her forehead and hair. “Can we just do this without me being sick? I feel like I’d prefer that.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with my Ellie?” 

“What?” She scoffed. 

“Admitting you like it when I take care of you, you’re a different person.” 

“Yeah well, it’s not all bad I guess.” You laughed at her response. 

“Thanks babe.” She coughed as you spoke and you realised you had almost forgotten she was sick. “Okay be quiet and have a nap now, you need your rest, I’ll run you a bath when you wake up.” 

“I’m not that tired.” You weren’t even surprised when she yawned as she finished her sentence. “Shut up.” 

“I didn’t say anything, just stop fighting me hm.” Your free hand came to play with her hair and scratch at her scalp, feeling successful when she let out a hum of contentment. 

“Yes ma’am.” She mumbled before squeezing your waist tighter and burrowing into your chest like it’s a pillow, to her, it was. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧   

“Do you wanna get in with me?” Ellie asked, hope seeping through her voice and face. 

“Are you sure? I thought you’d wanna relax.” 

“I’m most relaxed when I’m with you.” She purrs as she starts pulling at your top, you chuckle and help her rid you of your clothes before you sit in the bath leaving room for her to lay in between your legs. Ellie lets out a content sigh as she relaxes into the tub and presses her back to your chest, letting you lace your fingers into her hair and scratch at her scalp. “You’re so nice.” She hums eliciting a giggle from you. 

“You’re easy to please.” You quip with a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Damn right.” She agrees as her eyes shut and she relaxes back into you, her weight a welcome imposition in your body.  

“How’s your stomach? Cramps got worse?” 

“No they feel a little better actually, you’re a miracle worker.” 

“I think it’s the bath that’s done that babe.” 

“Just take a compliment would you? You’re infuriating.” She chuckles. 

“But you love me anyway.” She can hear the smirk in your words as you speak. 

“That I do.” She rasped out and a comfortable silence fell upon you both as you played with her hair and let the hot water help her aches and pains. 

You started washing Ellie’s hair, lathering it with shampoo and kneading into her scalp as she hummed in satisfaction until an idea popped into your head and you had to suppress the urge to giggle. You began forming a spike with her hair, letting the shampoo hold it in place as you moulded it to sit right on top of her head. 

“Er babe, what are you doing?” She asks suspiciously. You can only giggle in response as you look at the perfect spike a top her head and her confusion as she spins round to face you. “Oh what did you do?” She narrows her eyes before kneeling up in the bath to look in the mirror that faced you both, groaning at her reflection. “Seriously? How old are you?” 

“Er pot, kettle.” 

“Whatever.” She huffs and sinks back down into the water as you continue giggling until you decide to take mercy on her and rinse her hair of the shampoo, returning it to its original form.  

“Sorry El.” You pressed a kiss to her cheek and noted the smile that had puffed out her cheek under your lips. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“Yeah, I know.” You chirped before climbing out of the bath to start some lunch. Ellie moaned about you leaving but when you enticed her with tomato soup and a cheese toastie, she was quick to be quiet. You left her with a final kiss on the lips before checking on Clem on your way downstairs who was still fast asleep. 

Lunch was easy enough, you put ‘shaken by a low sound’ by the Crooked Stills on your record player and let yourself get carried away by the music as you made the food, you hummed along and swayed your hips to the beat while wondering how a song about murder could be so damn catchy until you’re broken from your thoughts by a pair of hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to their chest.  

“God you look so good, I wanna tear you apart.” Ellie rasped in your ear as she feathered kisses down your neck, swaying you both to the beat of the song. 

“You make it really difficult to get anything done.” You whispered as you leant back into her, slightly arching your back to push your ass into her crotch. 

“Maybe that’s the point.” 

“You want your lunch or not babe?” 

“Alright I get it.” She chuckled as she let her chin rest on your shoulder, clinging to you like a koala while you stirred the soup in its pot. The song switched from ‘little Sadie’ to the next causing Ellie to shuffle off without a word. All became clear when the record skipped to ‘Ecstasy’ and she walked back in with a sheepish grin. “Dance with me?” 

“If I ever say no to that, shoot me.” You chuckle as you take her outstretched hand and let her spin you into her so your back is once again pressed to her front, her arms wrapping around your waist and swaying to the melody ringing out through your home. You turned to face her and wrapped your arms around her waist as she pulled you in to a hug that was barely considered dancing but enough for you both. You pressed your face into her chest and breathed her in with a smile letting the song play through. You cherished moments like these, your home the backdrop of your relationship and how it blossomed. You felt a pang of nostalgia for all the memories you had already made here but the thought of making new memories in your farmhouse was so comforting.  

You danced until the song finished and the soup began to bubble causing you to break away from her with a quiet groan to stir the soup and cook the cheese toasties, Ellie just observing you with a giddy smile. “I’m gonna go wake Clem up.” She said before leaving you to the quiet of the kitchen. 

When she returned with a sleepy Clem in her arms you smiled at the sight and dished up everyone’s servings before putting them in their respective places on the table. “Thanks mommy.” Clem croaked out as Ellie kissed your hand.  

“Thanks babe.” 

“Anything for my girls, how you feeling Clem?” 

“Better, I’m just tired.” Clem replied softly. 

“I bet you are, once you’ve eaten you can go back to sleep if you want.” 

“Will you lay with me mama?” She directed her attention to Ellie. 

“Of course kiddo. I could do with a nap too.” She did an exaggeratedly loud yawn that Clem giggled at.  

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

You snuck into Ellie’s room to check on them both as they had been quiet for some time now and what you found was one of the cutest things you had ever seen. Ellie was sprawled out on her back, her mouth open, snores that were nowhere near soft echoing through the room because of her blocked nose. Clem was in almost the exact same position except most of her body was lying on Ellie and one of her hands had come to cup Ellie’s cheek from behind where she was laying. It was too cute to not capture the moment so you grabbed the polaroid camera Ellie had been gifted and snapped a pic of them, cringing when the flash went off though neither of them stirred. You stayed and watched just enraptured by them until you decided to go check on the washing you had hung outside earlier.  

The sun was beginning its journey towards the horizon and there was a slight nip in the air as you brought everything inside and began folding all the clothes. It was easy to get swept up in the little things like this knowing what the reality of the world is outside. Mundane activities felt rewarding, calming even. 

As you finished folding the washing, you yawned and noted how the day had taken it out of you, you crept back into Ellie’s room and climbed over the both of them to wedge yourself between Ellie and the wall, cuddling into her side. She groaned slightly and shifted to wrap her arm around you, pulling you closer into her and resting her chin on the top of your head. You laid, content, like that until sleep overtook you and you felt your body growing heavier.  

You were almost asleep when Ellie twitched like she had been electrocuted, making you jump in the process. You huffed and chuckled as she was still deeply asleep before settling in again, rubbing a hand over Clem’s arm and letting your exhaustion finally knock you out for good.  

a/n: idk if it’s just me but when I’m ill i literally sleep the whole fucking time like it’s the only thing I can do sooooo yeah also can anyone tell i love domestic ellie x reader, it just has a special place in my heart

tags: @emiliabby @radioheadfan699 @lil-elliesgf @isitadinosaur @amberputh @maelovescashew @a-little-bit-of-everybody @moonspowder @bready101 @euphternal @elliestwofingers @angelsrotation @drippyop @tphmnv (it won’t let me tag you :0)

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Exactly as you are

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a/n I apologize for the wait but here is part four! This story is literally a part of my identity now. Once again thank you to my sunshine @brekkershadowsinger for being my beta reader and sifting through ideas with me! All the love is so appreciated!🤍✨

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warnings: none? This feels wrong... past trauma, scars and I'm definitely forgetting something.

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Time. What a strange concept it is. We say that it takes a while for true feelings to grow. It takes a moment before you realize that you can trust someone, or even more, that you fully believe you know them. But then all the hard work of building can be ripped away and shattered in seconds. Maybe even less. So is it worth it? Is the work of building and cherishing worth it when it can all be taken away from you quicker than your heart could make a single beat?

You were sitting on the windowsill. The early morning sun kissed your skin, chasing the cold breeze away. The window was fully open. You had a thick, knitted blanket wrapped around you. Kaz's order - when he saw you sitting there with only your nightgown on. You hadn't left his room in the past couple of days, and Kaz was glad to give you a safe sanctuary to pick yourself up. He brought food up there. Let you look at the stars until most of the lights in the dregs were out. Just like after the first night, the bar hadn't been brought up. You knew that you could talk about it if you wanted to, but Kaz wasn't going to push you to do so.

You flipped through the last pages of your book. A frustrated huff left your lips as you pushed it closer to your chest, looking out into the distance. A light frown on your face. "What is it?", Kaz's voice made you glance over to his table. His head was buried in the papers that Jesper had brought up yesterday. He hadn't let go of them yet; some pages had permanent dents from where Kaz had held onto them for hours on end. You shook your head just as another sigh left your lips once more. "They didn't get a happy ending", you muttered quietly.

Kaz had gotten you that book. A lady had walked up to him in the middle of the street with a basket full of books. She pulled out a pretty old book in hardcover, "Find a home for it", she had told him, and Kaz was quick to drop it onto your lap, considering that you consumed anything and everything with letters on it. "Happy endings are overrated. Who is truly happy at the end of the day?", his words were distantly cold. Your eyes landed on him again. The funny thing was that you were feeling happy. Always feeling happy when you could finish your day up here with him. Happy when he would fall into light conversation with you. Happy when you would feel his presence behind you. Close enough to feel, but far enough to not be touched. Blinking a couple of times, you moved closer to the chest of drawers.

Kaz's eyes glimpsed up ever so slightly when you pulled the material off your skin. He often wondered if you felt his eyes on you while changing. He didn't gawk at you like a silly teenager. He loved your skin. Liked that harsh reminder of the world that swirled outside the slat. Kaz often thought about how it would feel to run his fingers through the deep valleys of scars on your back. He had grown to love that part of you so deeply, and so quietly.

"If…", you started, cutting yourself. Kaz lowered his gaze before lifting his head as if he was indeed looking at you for the first time. "Well, I was wondering if…", you muttered. Kaz dropped his pen. "Just get to it", he urged you, frowning slightly at his tone. "I want to go outside or at least downstairs, but…", your hands reached behind your back, quickly doing up a couple of buttons there. "I heard the girls saying in the street below that the apple trees are in full bloom. I've never seen one properly before".

How lame did it sound? A girl your age would probably walk through a tree like that without a second look. Most younglings ran around, climbing trees. Yet you never got to experience that. Sold after your first bleed, pulled, and shoved ever since. Locked somewhere deep within a house until you were needed. At best, getting to watch or see a tree or two through cracks in the walls. Kaz's silence felt like an answer in itself. He had grown even more protective after the incident, and at first, just being with him was exactly what you needed. But now it was starting to suffocate you.

"I have business in town till noon. I'll take you there after I'm finished", you just stood there, unable to help the surprised look that flashed through your face. The corners of your lips tugged upward ever so slightly. You wanted to let him know that he didn't have to. That you would understand. Maybe someone else would go with you, but now that he has offered… Your cheeks grew pink, and you quickly dabbed them, saying, "I'll be looking forward to that". You moved to wrap the silk scarf over your hair, fixing it neatly, and when you turned back around, Kaz was by the door, keeping it open for you."Oh, we're going now?", you questioned. "Aren't you hungry?", he asked bluntly, motioning with his cane for you to get going. "Just thought…" you said, but you shook your head, stepping in front of Kaz. Your fingers brushed against his arm ever so slightly as you moved past him.

Kaz slipped through the back door without a second thought. You did feel his hand lingering closer to the small of your back while you walked down the stairs as if he was there to catch you. There to offer support in case you fell or simply changed your mind and wanted to get back upstairs. But then, without you even having a chance to catch a second glance at him, he was gone. The warmth of him was replaced by the lingering coldness that now seemed to burn your back. You stood there for a moment. Just looking at the back door as if that somehow was going to summon Kaz back.

"Oh, Y/N", Jesper's voice made you turn around quickly. The genuine surprise on his face was hard to miss. Your eyes slipped to the plate filled with waffles that he was carrying, stomach growling lightly in begging for food. You wrapped your arms around yourself. The familiar unease returned to shackle your body. Wishing you were here, you let that thought slip through your mind. Not chasing after it, though, when it slowly drifted away into nothingness. "Come, join us. Everyone's been missing you", this time Jesper's voice had that comforting tone, the one that he always used while talking to you, followed up by a warm smile. He doesn't reach out a hand toward you. Aware of the impact a contact like that could have. You just nodded slightly, falling into the step behind him.

The kitchen seemed a lot lighter today. The windows were open, making the white curtains sway ever so slightly. Dancing in the spring breeze. Someone had bought flowers that were nicely arranged in a big vase. The sound of laughter and chatter made this place feel so much more like home. Who needed a fancy dining room if it would be filled with silence? However, it all died down when you came from behind Jesper's back. As if the ghost had lingered in the place, sending a shiver down everyone's backs.

You lowered your head. Scared to meet everyone's faces. As if you were meeting them all over again. But that fear didn't get to linger for long as you felt two hands bringing you closer to someone. A familiar scent filled your nose, and you were brought into Nina's embrace. She was the most affectionate of them all. And it was a big statement considering that Jesper and Wylan were rarely apart. But she thrived on it. Fed on it and consumed it with all that she had. "I am so sorry, you can't imagine. All this time, I've been blaming myself. You do know that I would never…", she burst out, tripping over her own words as she pulled away from you, wanting nothing more but to meet your eyes. "It's okay", you muttered, squeezing her hands. Nina's face froze for a moment, her mouth gaping slightly. "You should probably breathe because your heart might stop", you urge her sheepishly, yet she just shook her head as a smile crept onto her face as well.

You always liked blending into the background chatter that mingled around a table filled with food. Not knowing why. It just felt calming. You could observe. Be there, but also always able to build a wall between yourself and everyone in the room. Having a chance to watch the four of them was something you became so attracted to. Missed it even during your days up at Kaz's room. It was a sense of belonging. Even if you didn't want to participate in the talking, they never missed a chance to double-check that you had everything, whether you wanted seconds or a drink. It was a sense of warmth. A smile and loving words. Something that you didn't get any of before you came here. A sense of family. Knowing very well that if you reached out, you would never be denied. Never be left alone.

So without even thinking, you leaned to the side. Pressing your head on Jesper's shoulder. His hand instantly embraced you. "You're tired? Want me to walk you back up?", he asked you softly, but you didn't trust your voice, shaking your head ever so slightly. He dropped his hand from your side, leaving you enough room to pull away when being close to him got too much. You wanted to thank him for looking after you and for always being so patient, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so. Looking up at him, you wondered if he knew. Knew how much it meant to you to have someone like him. Jesper's eyes met yours as he pulled his attention from the story that Nina was telling. Pushing a strand of hair behind your ears, he gave you a lighter smile, winking before turning back to the rest of his friends.

"Soo…", Nina spoke up when you all had finally finished eating, and the dishes were washed and dried. You continued to fold dried clothes without acknowledging her curiosity. "Cone on now, you and Kaz", Nina said, wriggling her eyebrows. Abandoning the pile in front of her as she stepped closer to you. Flopping down on one of the bench. Perching her head on her fist as she beamed at you.

"What about me and Kaz?", you asked her, as if you indeed had no clue what she was referring to. You expected it. Well, no, you expected them all to first go to Kaz or not bring it up at all for that same reason. You knew that the fact that you had been calling for him for hours upon hours had to mean something.

"He cares about you", you quickly blinked a couple of times, dragging yourself out of your thoughts as Nina nudged you once more. "Well, yeah", you trailed off, moving to pick up another basket, "Just like he cares about all of his investments". Nina's hopeful face was quickly dampened by annoyance as she rolled her eyes at you. "Oh, wonderful! You even sound just like Kaz now", she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. The silence fell upon the two of you.

She had been eyeing you up during breakfast, so you weren't all that surprised when she asked you if you wanted to help her tackle the laundry. Nina was one curious woman, more than ready for a sprinkle of gossip. Her heart was pure. You know just as well that even before you spoke to her, she always made sure that you felt a part of their group. So if you were to join her, she always talked. Talked without taking a moment to breathe at times, and it brought you some comfort. Her voice kept your attention.

"You two talk?", she tried again, and you couldn't help the silent giggle that slipped past your lips, "Nina, is this an interrogation?" She let out a frustrated growl. Struggling as much as she usually struggles with Kaz when he indeed joins everyone for dinner or lunch. "No, no, just…", she was quick to defend herself. "You two seem like two broken pieces who ended up piecing together and…", "So you needed help with laundry?", you cut her off quickly. For some reason, it felt weird.

You didn't want to talk about anything that was happening in Kaz's room. Mostly because you didn't know what was happening. It didn't have a label. It wasn't something you could measure. Yes, things had shifted. There were evenings when you lay in bed together, just looking at each other. The first time Kaz climbed in to lay beside you, you probably looked redder than a strawberry. It was just that—laying and looking. Seeing. You've never been with anyone in such an intimate way. The world around you drowned out. Just you and him. Kaz would slip away after you'd fallen asleep. His fingers trace the side of your cheek or resting over your palm for a heartbeat. But nothing was ever verbal.

"Fine, don't say anything. I feel it all anyways", Nina said, standing up with a huff and swirling her hand in the air as she returned to her pile of laundry. "You feel what?", you frowned quickly. Surely, she couldn't feel you two from Kaz's attic room. Could she even distinguish it? And what was there to feel? "Nothing, nothing, an investment, and the owner", Nina smirked at you before dropping her gaze. You stood there for a moment. But with a quick shake of your head, returned to folding.

Kaz was frustrated. Even that didn't cut it. The anger in his veins was starting to burn. Nothing. No matter what he did or who he threatened, nothing led him any closer to the males in his bar. He simply didn't understand. How could someone just appear out of nowhere? No leads. Nothing to hold onto. As if that was the main point. As if the assault wasn't the main thing, the chaise was what was supposed to drive Kaz insane.

"Polina would have liked this", you muttered, eyes closed as you sat with your face turned to the evening sun. Kaz was desperate all day. Desperate to walk back and take you to see the blooming trees. He knew this was going to be his lifeline. Something that would keep him in check. And it was. The way your eyes nearly filled up with tears as you took the whole field of wild apple trees in. White and pink petals fall gracefully from time to time. He watched how you carefully reached up to touch them. So gentle as if you were to hurt them somehow. How you had turned to beam at him, how you had smiled. You. How was anyone able to take one look at you and want to harm you when all Kaz wanted was to protect and cherish you?

"Your sister?", he asked, and you nodded your head. You had never talked to Kaz about Polina. But you weren't all that surprised that he knew who she was. You fully expected Kaz to have done a background check on you, and at times it made you wonder - what did he know? What had he managed to find? And if he knew everything, why had he not said anything yet? But you never dared to. Clinging to the hope that Kaz had only gathered some of your backstory, not enough to uncover it all.

"Yeah, I feel like Jordie would be here sketching this", Kaz motioned with his cane to the rest of the field that stretched out in front of you. The setting sun was slowly starting to paint everything a golden gleam. Kaz felt stupid the moment these words had slipped past his lips, but there was no turning back, and the way your eyes had softened at that moment made it painfully aware that you understood his longing.

"Thank you for this", you muttered, turning your attention fully to the male sitting by your side. It was such a weird thing to see Kaz sitting on the grass, leaning against the tree. He looked his age here, not some dangerous gang owner who everyone feared. Kaz only hummed, closing his own eyes for a moment. You bit your lip as you watched him, and then your body was moving before you could even think about it. Leaning closer to press a feather-like kiss onto Kaz's cheeks, pulling back straight away.

His eyes shot open. Big eyes as he took in your rosy cheeks. The urge to pinch them between his fingers and kiss you was all Kaz could think of, but he shoved that thought deep down. Suffocating it with his own hands until it lay lifeless in the back of his mind. The switch in his emotions set you off as well. The flushed cheeks ran pale, and you turned away from him, rubbing your fingers together. "We need to head back. I need to work some more", Kaz stood up first, moving to walk even before you were up.

You had slipped into your quiet self upon returning home. Nina had tried to joke around about how you and Kaz had returned together, but your face only dulled at the mention of that, so she quickly changed the topic. Kaz went out once more with a harsh slam on the door, and all you could think about was how your actions had made him upset. You thought about asking Nina to check on his heartbeat to see if she could read out some of his emotions. Anything that might help you settle your guilt. But you had decided against it, knowing that this would be a breach that Kaz would never forgive.

When everyone fell into an easy conversation downstairs, you slipped out, heading back to Kaz's room. You debated whether you should be taking your bedding to the room that was initially set to be yours. You wondered if he was still going to talk to you tonight. Or come lay beside you so you could apologize and promise to never do that again. That you had just been craving his touch because he had started to feel so much like a haven, and your body was just seeking out the comfort he brought you. Your eyes feel upon the chair that lay pushed over. The papers were spread out all over the room. Some were even on the bed. You picked them up, turning them over in your hands, before an idea sparked in your head.

Kaz didn't have a reason to be walking through the streets so late, but his mind was moving so fast that he felt like he needed to move his body too, or he would explode. Even in the cold evening, nipping at his skin, all Kaz could feel were your warm lips. It felt like a flash of lightning. So quick you could hardly catch it at the time, but evident because it had set his whole body in overdrive.

He had to apologize once he got back. He had wanted to do that before he walked out. The moment he saw you sitting by the table downstairs, looking at the wall in front of you. But the moment he wanted to step in, Nina had walked up to you, hosting you up so you would help her with dinner. Your lips. The soft touch of them against his skin. Kaz wasn't sure why, but he didn't feel the drowning fear when you leaned in. Maybe he simply wasn't expecting it, or maybe his body was able to tell that it was you.

Yet his desires faded the moment he opened the door to his room and found you piling up the papers that he had left there prior. No. No. You didn't just… "What have you done", Kaz rushed in, looking all over the room. All the mappings of the information that he had been working on for days. Everything that was supposed to lead him to the males at the club. "It was all messy, I thought…", your voice was so small as you quickly let go of the files in your hands, stepping away from the table. "Who asked you to do this?", he rushed over, ripping the drawers open and sending some of the papers flying, "You stupid… thing. I was this close!"

Pulling a pile of papers, Kaz quickly sifted through them. There was once again no order between them. A harsh slap on the desk made you jump back. "Kaz…", you crocked out; this was supposed to be way different. All you wanted to do was help. "Get out", he pointed towards the door, and you let out a cry straight away. Never before had he pushed you away, no matter the frustration or the meeting he had with the crows, but here you were. "Get out; I don't want to see you here ever again", his words cut into your skin. Your lips trembled, but you still lingered. Hoping that maybe. Maybe he would change his mind. "I said get lost, or are you deaf now too?", you shook your head. Stepping out of the room, close the door behind you carefully.

You quickly rushed down the stairs, hand covering your mouth so you would suppress the sobs threatening to slip past your lips. You had no idea where you were supposed to go. Could you still stay here, somewhere in the house? Or were you supposed to get out here fully? You caught a glimmer of four crows, all standing by the arch that leads toward the living room. Faces drenched in confusion. No doubt, they had heard the yelling from upstairs. But you couldn't take it. Couldn't take pity. The smothering that came with comforting someone. So you leaped towards the door, ripping it open as you slipped out into the night.

You strode as if you were in a daze. The streets were familiar to you, but with all the emotions running through your body, it felt more like you were floating. The hot tears stung your eyes as you turned to get away from the main streets. You needed to find a place to lay low. Something. Anything. Till he calmed down. Till you could say sorry. But just as a night in the club, you felt it before it happened.

Someone grabbed you from behind just this time, instead of someone lingering to breathe down your neck, you felt a cold blade being pushed against it as the person pressed you closer to its chest with the free hand. "And the bird finally flew into the trap", your whole body went cold as the male's voice filled the dark alleyway. You knew that you should have run because the grip he had on you wasn't firm, and if you were smart enough, you might be able to turn just enough to avoid him slicing your throat fully open. But you couldn't move; your body was as firm as a block of ice.

"As quiet as I left you. No one taught you how to chirp?", the sick feeling twisted your guts. Something within you cracked, awakening the spark within you. Yet that wasn't enough to fade out the fear when you felt the cloth being pressed over your face. You tried to push it away, scratching your nails against the male's hand, but it didn't seem to give you any advantage, and as the black dots filled your vision, the only thing that made you petrified was that you knew who that voice belonged to and that you had hoped to never see that face again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kazle Dazle taglist: @igakc @anxiousbeech @vicky-09 @coldheartedmar @teigo-the-explorer @whos6claire @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters

[ggoojjoo]

20:35 — chpt 236 spoilers !

— pairing: gojo satoru x reader

— contains: gn!reader, angst, chapter 236 spoilers, angst, character death, slight gore

— wc: 0,4

— note: writing this with tears in my eyes :,) i’m still in denial

“satoru,” you sobbed breathlessly, your shaky hand reaching out to him, but you were just too far. “you can do it, i believe in you.” you didn’t know if you were trying to convince him or yourself, but you’d think it was obvious in the state he laid there. it was mortifying, seeing your most beloved literally torn apart. 

tears were mixing with the blood and dirt on your face, the sticky mess casting an uncomfortable stiffness to your skin. you noticed the way he tried to utter his last words to you, but it was already too late. “satoru!” the screech you let out was near blood curdling, sobs raking through your whole body. your grief was too much to feel the physical pain of your own injuries. a pained groan fell from your bleeding lips as you felt a heavy foot on your wrist, stopping your poor attempts at reaching your dead lover. 

“pathetic,” was all you heard before you drowned in darkness.

“wake up!” the all too familiar voice startled you awake, your eyes ripping open as wide as they could, meeting the blue ones you oh so loved, illuminated by the moon that shined into the dark room. “oh god, you scared me for a second,” he gasped through a laugh. his pale hands reached for the tears that were spilling from your bloodshot eyes. “oh, honey, come here,” he cooed, pulling you flush against his chest. his warm chest, the beat of his heart so strong you could feel it against your cheek. 

both of your hands clutched onto his flimsy sleep-shirt as if he was going to disappear into thin air, sobbing and heaving against him. “satoru,” you cried, calling to him, making sure that you weren’t dreaming anymore. 

“i’m here now,” he mumbled into your hair, not minding the slight dampness of your cold sweat. “i’m here.” his voice grounded you to some degree, the sweet rumble in his chest that reverberated through your body as he spoke. “you’re okay. we’re okay.” 

satoru was a patient man, especially when it came to you. he’d let you cry for days if you had the sheer willpower. he’d know what to do, what to tell you, hell, he’d sing a lullaby if you as much uttered a word to him. so when it was one of those nights again, he’d make sure to call in work and tell them that he’s staying at home, hanging up before the higher-ups could say anything else. and that phone would stay turned off in some corner in your shared space. and he hated it, so much that he’d consider burning the world down for you.

@ggoojjoo 2023 | ©️ do not steal or plagiarize

i do not own the jujutsu kaisen franchise nor the characters!

[doyawalker]

Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind #7

chapter 6.

contains swearing

previous chapter

taglist: @parkinglot-nights

__

C’est La Vie, I Guess

You simply stared at him, the world around you slowing down as it was only his eyes you could focus on. And suddenly you were taken back to that one night in the mid of June, the last time you had seen him and the feelings exploded in your stomach. The pain of never feeling good enough, the desire for his attention, the self-doubt that had slowly but surely made its way into every little corner of your consciousness. Everything was crashing back down onto you as his eyes continued to stare into your soul and it was too much.

Your eyelashes fluttered as you finally forced yourself to look away, your cheeks burning up because you felt so vulnerable like a prey bowing down before its predator.

The wound that had been slowly ripped open before was now bleeding again, as you were confronted with your past and the feelings you had obviously only stored away somewhere deep in your heart instead of actually getting over them.

Your stomach was turning in a funny way, confirming the rollercoaster of emotions you were going through and it was only until you heard his voice again that you finally snapped out of it.

“So, do you mind telling me about what’s going on with you and Tae?”

His voice was low, sounding huskier than usual, and as the words slowly seeped into your mind, the world picked up its normal pace again.

“Why do you care?”, you ask, looking back up at him. He was still way too close, his body almost hovering over you, and upon hearing your words he propped up one hand beside you against the wall, inching even closer.

“Because Tae is one of my friends.”

“Then why don’t you go and ask him?” He furrowed his brows together, the tip of his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. Normally he seemed amused by your answers but now he wasn’t showing any sign of humor. There was just this dark shadow cast over his eyes. 

“I want to hear it from you.”, he said, his voice dropping another octave lower. 

Your heart picked up a new speed, your hands were starting to feel clammy. 

“Why?”, you croaked, unconsciously holding your breath, the air around you so thick from the tension that it was almost unbearable.

A moment passed. 

He took a deep breath in. 

“Because maybe I made a mistake back then.”

It took you two, maybe three seconds until your mind finally picked up the meanings of his words. 

And when it finally did, the peng you felt in your chest would have made you stumbled back if it wasn’t for the wall behind you supporting you. 

Him making a mistake? Him…regretting? It sounded too good to be true. It couldn’t be true. He was lying. He was lying to you again.

And as he kept looking at you, awaiting your reaction, a new emotion flared up inside of you. Anger. 

Anger at his audacity, anger for coming back into your life, anger at how he left you two years ago, anger at yourself because you couldn’t understand why you still felt so drawn to him.

Pulling your brows together, new-found confidence washed over you as you straightened your spine, your gaze now challenging his.

“Isn’t it a bit too late to realize that? You really think I’m gonna believe you?”

You got him. You saw it in the way his eyes widened for a split second with surprise before he composed himself again. He had expected a different answer, it seemed.

“Why would I lie to you?”

You scoffed, his remark bringing your anger to a new level. 

“So you still don’t remember what you did back then, do you?”, you said, your voice getting louder, as you pushed your index finger against his chest, underlining your words. “What kind of sick game are you playing here? Do you really think I’m gonna be that stupid to let you play with me, just because I met you again literally three days ago?”

His expression started to change, as a similar emotion to yours flared up in his eyes.

“I’m not playing games, I mean it.”, he said, but his argument was weak.

“Do you really think you can just sit there, act like nothing ever happened, like we’re the best of friends and expect me to fucking play along with that, what the fuck?” 

Your voice had turned into yelling, as you couldn’t stop your feelings from gushing out of you, the alcohol probably not helping. 

And you hated it, but as you ranted on you couldn’t stop your eyes from becoming blurry, the sight of him in front of you slowly turning hazy. 

“You can’t even remember what you did to me, for fucks sake!”

It was the last straw, the last realization that tipped you over the edge, as you stood in front of him, glaring at him like you wanted to murder him.

A few people were walking past you, whispering something you couldn’t hear, but you didn’t care anyway. If he didn’t want a scene, then he shouldn’t have created one. 

But suddenly his demeanor changed. 

He took a step back, creating much-needed distance between you two, the expression on his face relaxed, as he tilted his head to the side.

A thousand insults clouded your mind, but as he looked at you so calmly, obviously not impressed by your emotional outburst, they slowly lost their power.

He simply looked at you, his dark shadow from before now gone and replaced with something you had never seen on his face before.

Sympathy.

“Why don’t you tell me what I did wrong?”, he asked, his voice softer. 

And your anger fizzled out as fast as it had taken over you, leaving you once again only with the pain and embarrassment of laying your emotions out so easily in front of him, as if you couldn’t control yourself.

What was he doing to you? Why was it so hard for you to compose yourself in front of him?

You wanted to go. 

His presence was too much, too confusing, too painful. 

You shook your head in disbelief, your gaze focused on a spot somewhere behind him.

“What does it change if I tell you? If you can’t even remember it.”, you said, your voice sounding weak and you knew you had to get away.

So you left.

Pushing past him, you fled towards the stairs, your mind racing with thoughts about what just happened. You had to find Tae or Sori, you shouldn’t have left without them. 

Maybe this wouldn’t have happened then. 

As you reached the stairs, you heard him calling out your name from behind you, but you didn’t look back.

You couldn’t. 

He was in your past, after all. 

In the beginning, you had always wanted to talk with him about your feelings. As soon as the power dynamic between the two of you had changed and you started to develop feelings for him, you noticed whenever he was being distanced or cold. You noticed the way he ignored your texts, how he declined your calls, telling you he was busy, only to call you up at night to meet at your usual spot. And at first, you had confronted him. Had told him how it hurt you when he was treating you this way and he kept going on and on about how he didn’t mean to hurt you, how you two were going to figure it out, how much he liked you. But as time went on and he became even colder and your complaints even louder, he started to blame it on you, calling you too emotional, saying that you couldn’t control yourself and that you were the reason the two of you had so much trouble.

Whenever you called him and asked if you could meet up and talk, he always sighed, thinking of some excuse to get out of it. And so you stopped talking. You accepted his calls, agreed to everything he said, did as he wanted you to, just so you could enjoy the few moments of attention he would gift you with.

Maybe that was the reason why the encounter with him at the party upset you so much. You had shown him your feelings again, openly and honestly. And he didn’t deserve that.

You had escaped the party immediately after almost sprinting down the stairs back into the living room. You had pushed yourself through the crowd back out front through the entrance, your feet carrying you back to Taehyung’s car on their own. And when you finally arrived there, you called Sori. 

When they came running to you, you were already crouching down beside Tae’s car, tears silently falling out the corners of your eyes and when Sori pulled you into her chest to hug you, the two of you sat there and you cried for minutes.

You had told them what happened, as Tae maneuvered the car out of the parking space, bringing you back home safely.

That was Saturday.

Now it was Tuesday.

You had skipped the gym on Sunday and on Monday you had gone later on in the day in order to avoid him.

But you knew you couldn’t run away from him forever.

And as you walked down the street that led to your university’s campus, anxiety started to creep up in your stomach. Because your next course in migration policies was a course you shared with him. He had told you his schedule - unasked - at the gym on Thursday and now you knew that you would see him every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. How delightful.

Dragging your feet across the floor of your major’s building, the anxiety turned into an unbearable feeling of doom the closer you got to your classroom. Maybe he wouldn’t show up? Maybe he wouldn’t talk to you? Maybe he did finally get the message? Or maybe you had just seemed straight-up crazy to him when you had yelled at him and he would forever avoid you? A dream come true.

As you entered the room, a bit of the weight resting on your shoulders got lifted, because he wasn’t there yet. Searching for the perfect spot to sit in the back of the class, you threw your bag onto the desk, your eyes wandering over the few other attendees that had already gathered. You didn’t recognize any of them, but you did notice how small the room was. This course wasn’t a lecture, it was a seminar, with group work and presentations and everything annoying that you dreaded most of the time. Especially when you knew that Jungkook would be in your class.

Slowly unpacking your things, you sat down in your chair, making sure that your bag was covering some of your body and face, as you opened your laptop in front of you.

Only two more minutes until class started. 

You took a deep breath in, rolling your shoulders backward, trying to relax your mind, as you pushed any thought of him or the weekend to the side. It wasn’t worth it.

But of course, as if the universe was trying to change your mind, he walked into the room the next moment.

His curly hair was loosely tamed under a baseball cap, his muscles for once not covered in a tight shirt but with an oversized pullover, grey sweatpants making it seem as if he had just gotten out of bed. And maybe he has because there were some darker circles under his eyes that usually weren’t there. 

Grabbing the strap of his backpack, he stopped at the entrance of the room, his gaze wandering through the class.

God, please no. Please don’t.

Sinking deeper into your seat, you tried to hide your face even further behind your laptop screen. It didn’t seem to work. 

Because as you silently begged for him to sit anywhere else, his feet moved toward you, his broad figure letting itself fall into the empty chair next to you, his now-familiar scent filling your nostrils immediately. 

Cursing at him silently, you chose to ignore him, the empty Google doc in front of you being so interesting that you didn’t even throw a glance in his direction.

A few seconds passed by, as he laid down his laptop in front of him on the table, his giant water bottle standing next to it.

And then he broke the silence hanging between you.

“Hi.”

His voice was only a whisper, as the professor had already entered the class, starting to talk about the course’s syllabus.

You didn’t answer.

“Can we talk?”

Pressing your lips together, you focused on a spot somewhere on the blackboard. 

He leaned closer to you.

“Y/N, please. I want to apologize.” “Don’t.” 

Your voice sounded harsher than intended, your eyes still not looking over at him. 

You had heard him talk about apologies often enough by now. You honestly didn’t need one. All you needed was for him to leave you alone so that your life could finally go back to normal.

But he was persistent.

“I don’t need your permission to apologize, you do know that?”

The audacity.

Your eyes finally snapped to his face.

“You sure talk about apologizing a lot for someone who still hasn’t said a single ‘I’m sorry’, you know that?” 

He eyed you carefully and something was different about him. It was still him, but he was missing a part. His confidence. The cockiness in his eyes and voice, the challenge. He almost looked pitiful.

You averted your eyes, trying not to let yourself be deceived. He could be acting after all. He sure was good at that.

“So, let’s form the groups for this semester’s presentation work.” 

The professor’s voice cut through your consciousness, making you sit up straight in your chair, as you eyed your classmates one more time. 

You had to be quick in finding a partner, otherwise-

“Yes?” 

The professor’s voice rang out again, as she pointed toward you. 

No, not you. Next to you.

Turning in horror, you looked at Jungkook’s raised hand, his body casually leaning back in his chair, as he spoke absolutely nonchalantly.

“I want to work with Y/N.”

Pointing at you, he didn’t even acknowledge the way your mouth fell open in shock, your heart somersaulting in your chest amidst his words.

What the actual fuck?

“What is wrong with you?”, you hissed under your breath, your feet hitting him against his shin.

His face distorting in pain, he finally looked at you, his brows furrowing together.

“I want to talk to you. And since you are ignoring me, I have to find a different way, right?”

“You’re such an asshole.”

He scoffed in amusement and there was his cocky side again. He didn’t hide that very well after all. You knew it.

“Besides, there’s no one else in this class that I want to work with.” 

“That’s not my problem.”

“Nope. But I just made it yours.” You glared at him, pointing your index finger at him.

“I promise you, we will talk about this group project and this group project only for the whole semester, and…”, you leaned closer to him, your eyes burning themselves into his. “I swear to god, if I get a bad grade because of you, I will hunt you down.” “Sounds promising.”, he answered, a wide grin spreading over his tired-looking face.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you let yourself fall back against your chair, crossing your arms in front of your chest. 

“God, help me.”

Class flew by, mostly because you took so long to accept the fact that you were stuck in this group work with Jungkook, and when the professor finally let you go, you packed your stuff up hectically, not even wanting to give him the chance to talk to you more than necessary. 

“So, when are we meeting for the first time, groupmate?”, he asked, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, watching you struggle with the zipper of your bag intently.

“Shut it.”, you mumbled, cursing under your breath, almost ripping your bag apart as you tried to close it forcefully.

“Let me.” He stepped closer to you, his hands pushing yours aside gently as he grabbed the bag with one hand and the zipper with the other. Pushing the metal back a few millimeters, he then pulled it back forward with ease, closing the bag in a second.

Sighing, you looked up at him, your eyes meeting his, as he let go of your bag.

He really looked exhausted and for a second you wondered why. The bags under his eyes acted as evidence for sleepless nights, undoubtedly. Maybe he had company over. The blonde girl from the party perhaps?

“Thanks.”, you murmured, your lips pressed together to a thin line, as your thoughts wandered to a picture you’d rather not think about, making you turn around on your heels, ready to walk off.

But he didn’t mean to let you go so easily.

You shouldered your bag, back already facing away from him, when you felt his touch on your arm, his hand gripping around it and gently but surely making sure that you stayed in place.

Glancing over your shoulder, you were ready to throw an insult at his head, but he was faster.

“You’re right. About me not apologizing. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do that.”, he began another unreadable expression painting his face. 

“But I’m sorry. For what happened on Saturday. I shouldn’t have pushed you so far, it was a shitty move.” He seemed genuine. Maybe he was. And maybe you did actually need that apology at least. Because as he finally said those words to you, for the first time in forever, your body relaxed a bit, no longer trying to wriggle out of his grip. 

You stood there for a second, unsure what to do, waiting for him to dissolve the situation, but he simply stared at you, his words still lingering in the air between you.

Looking away, you slowly removed your arm from his hand, your skin feeling hot where he had touched you. 

You felt like you couldn’t get any words out, didn’t know what to say to that either way, because he was right, it had been a shitty move, so you just nodded at him in acknowledgment. 

“Give me your phone number.”, you said, getting your phone out of the pocket of your jeans. “For the group project.”

This was your peace offering to him. No more fighting as long you purely concentrated on your work. 

A grin flashed across his face, as he pulled his phone out. “When do you have time to meet?”, he asked, as you typed his number into your contacts. It was a new number. You still had his old one. Not saved but it was still there with his chat. Why? You didn’t know either.

“I’ll text you.”, you said, looking back up at him. He was still smiling.

__

[spicyseonghwas]

jeong yunho - "no one can hurt you now"

pairing jeong yunho x male reader viewer rating 16+ ; yandere content genres/au's fucked up fluff, slight angst & suggestive, omegaverse content warnings physical contact, cursing, blood, implied abduction, weapons (knives), threats, alpha!yunho, omega!reader, assault/attempted murder, yunho sort of has aichmomania, word-salad mention of sex in literally the last sentence word count :: 812 network tags :: @preciousillusions-net a/n just because i decided the person that dies for hitting on reader is a woman doesnt mean im sexist !! youre literally reading a fanfiction !! :DD

please reblog this if you like it! likes do not help my algorithm.

your eyelid twitched; you had to fight valiantly to keep the whole right side of your face from twitching in the immense measures of annoyance you were experiencing right at that moment. you were beginning to get so annoyed with this random woman, who had been hitting on you relentlessly for the past hour, that your heart rate was actually, genuinely accelerating. it got so bad that you almost swung at your boyfriend when he walked quietly up behind you, finally rescuing you from this torture that you had been forced to suffer through up until this point in the night.

"hello, my prince." came a soft whisper into your ear. a small shiver sneaked down your spine when you heard his voice; it was deep, husky and sort of raspy from the many cigarettes and spicy, acidic foods yunho consumed on a daily basis.

"this blasted woman just won't take a fucking hint." you growled quietly, spitting the last word like poison on your tongue.

"mmm." yunho said quite loudly, "how interesting, because you have clearly been scented, and your alpha is clearly standing next to you and hasn't once been more than a few hundred feet away from you this whole night."

"not to mention the fact that this woman herself is an omega." you snorted.

"how pointless." yunho said with a much-too-chipper voice.

you giggled, taking yunho's hand and pulling, gensturing silently to him that you wanted to leave.

but yunho seemed to have something else in mind; he yanked you back into his chest, glaring poison daggers at the woman who had been hitting on you. you looked over in her direction to see that she had stood up. she had a knife of her own in her hand, and she was staring directly at you.

"may i?" yunho asked quietly. you took a moment to answer- not quite hesitating, but not rushing to give your alpha an answer, either. you looked her up and down, sizing her up just as yunho was, before coming to the conclusion that it should be a safe thing to do.

"go ahead darling, have at her."

yunho giggled in a voice that was much too high-pitched to have come out of his throat, spinning the obsidian knife in his hand before driving it downward. the woman underneath him screamed, holding her hands over her face in an effort to stop it, then flinched to the left when the blade of the knife burrowed into the dirt an inch from her bloodied, cut open right cheekbone.

she screamed again when yunho yanked her hair so that she was looking right at him, and cowered backward into the dirt she was already pressed into as a wolf-like growl escaped her abductor's throat.

"you gonna hit on a taken omega again? huh?" yunho hissed gleefully, the protective aura he'd always had bleeding into the dark sky around him as he held her. "answer me, woman!"

"N-NO, I SWEAR," she screamed, "PLEASE JUST LET ME GO- AGH!" the nameless woman cut herself off with another scream as yunho's knife dug into her shoulder.

"if i ever see you near him again i'll rip you apart." he hissed, his voice lower, colder, sharper than you'd ever heard it before. it was so much so that a small shiver ran down your spine as you heard him speak. "do you understand me, little girl?"

the woman nodded furiously, pressing a hand she'd wrestled out of her attacker's tightly against the fresh wound on her opposite shoulder.

yunho stood up, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt and yanking her up with him. his beloved obsidian knife- bi su, he called it- was in her sheath in a fraction of a split second, replaced by a silver glock 43x, custom made just for him...

and it just so happened to be that you had made that gun for him with your own two hands.

he pointed the shinny barrel of the gun at the woman's head, making her stumble backward in fear, before his arm moved faster than any human could ever move as he shot once into the dirt mere inches from her toes.

"run, little girl." he whispered venomously, his words tearing a gash in her soul as she scrambled to obey his command, running for her life past him out onto the street and disappeared into the darkness of seoul.

"wasn't she lovely?" yunho snickered, twirling the gun in his fingers before stashing it away in his jacket.

"sure, if bimbo minus the attractive ability counts." you snorted, smirking darkly when yunho chuckled at your answer. he dusted himself off, turned toward you and looked you in the eyes as he held out his hand, silently gesturing for you to take it so that he could take you to some other magical place.

© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.

[eddies-puppet]

My Queen

I’m laid up with horrible cramps today so just a little blurb/ daydream about Eddie looking after his girlfriend in the same situation 🥰

Warnings: menstrual cramps, fluff.

~ 800 words

——————————————————————————

“Y/N, I’m heading off now, do you need anything?” I heard my mom yell from the bottom of the stairs.

“No thanks, I’m good,” I called back, my voice hoarse in my throat.

“Ok, see you tonight,” she yelled again before I heard the front door slam shut behind her and her car start up. I lay there for a few seconds, just listening to the engine tick over. There was a loud squeak coming from the engine that mom had nagged me about a million times, but turning the music up louder so I couldn’t hear it was easier than constantly nagging my boyfriend, who’d promised to look at it.

Eventually I heard my mom pull off the driveway, and the squeak faded to silence as she made her way down the block. The clock read 8am, I should have been starting class now. Instead, I snuggled down into my pillow, pulling the covers tight around me, a hot water bottle pressed to my stomach as I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would at least let me ignore the pain for a few hours.

——————————————————————————

I woke with a start as my bedroom window flew open, a string of curses falling from my boyfriend’s mouth as he fell head first onto my carpet.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” He jumped up from the ground, pushing his long curls back from his face.

“Sorry sweetheart,” he smiled. “I was worried, you weren’t at school so I thought I should check on you.” As I glanced at the clock, Eddie made his way to my side, sitting gently on the edge of my bed. “You ok?” He asked softly, placing his warm hand against my cheek.

“I’m fine, it’s just cramps,” I smiled tiredly. “Eds, you should still be in class.”

“You think I’m gonna sit through O’Donnell’s class when my queen is sick? What do you take me for, Y/N?” He ranted dramatically, clutching his hand to his chest in mock offense, causing me to giggle softly.

“Ok, there’s no need to be such a drama queen,” I laughed.

Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through my stomach, like a thousand tiny snakes coiling around my insides. I pulled my knees to my chest, rolling my face in to my soft pillow as a groan rumbled in my throat.

“Oh love,” Eddie soothed, rubbing my thigh softly until the pain subsided and my body relaxed. “What can I do to help?”

“Not a lot,” I shrugged. “One of those famous Munson hugs would be really nice though,” I whispered, smiling as his face lit up.

“That I can do, my love,” he grinned as he shrugged off his denim vest and leather jacket. “Scoot over.” I shuffled backwards, giving him room to climb under the covers with me, and as soon as he was tucked up beside me, I snuggled into his warm chest, the sound of his heart beating and the smell of his apple shampoo filling my senses. The feeling of his strong hands pulling me in tight against him, rubbing my back, was heavenly.

“How was Hellfire last night?” I asked him, drawing a loud laugh from him.

“The Dungeon Master went undefeated as I’d expected,” he told me smugly.

“You know, you really should ease up on them, let them have half a chance for once.”

“Huh,” he scoffed. “Absolutely not. I’m doing those little sheep a favour sweetheart, building their resilience.” I giggled, shaking my head. Only Eddie could enjoy the win so much while pretending it was for someone else’s benefit. “You doing ok my love? Comfortable?” He asked softly, his hands running lazily against my lower back. I hummed contentedly.

“Always better when you’re here Eds,” I said, moving my head to look up at him. He smiled back down at me, his deep brown eyes twinkling in the late morning sun shining in through my window. “Thank you for coming to check on me. You don’t have to stay here all day though, I doubt I’m much company.”

“Hey,” he said, one hand moving to place a gentle finger against my lips. “There is literally nowhere else I’d rather be. Wanna take care of my girl,” he grinned, lowering his face to mine, the tip of his nose brushing softly against mine before he kissed me, his lips soft, warm against mine, the heady combination of cigarettes and minty gum so Eddie, so comforting. “I love you baby,” he whispered as he snuggled his head back into my pillow.

“I love you too,” I smiled as I closed my eyes, burying my face back in his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat slowly lulling me into a gentle sleep.

[absorbedbutler]

hii I was wondering if u could do an Austin!elvis x reader ?

Y/n and Elvis have known each other since they were kids and literally cannot stand each other like every litte thing the other does gets them annoyed and they argue all the time, but one day before one of his performances they get into a really heated argument and he’s just like “wait till I’m done with this show.” And like after he’s done preforming he just fucks her into an oblivion LMAOO

this was really detailed but Austin’s just so fine as elvis like.

the amount of detail i’m in love you basically wrote this for me IM ON IT

tw this is lowk filthy

you had known elvis since you were 4 and your parents moved in to the apartment next to his.

subsequently your parents had become friends, meaning they were either over all the time or vice versa.

as your parents drank and plaid cards, you two were shunned away to a free room where you were forced to play.

you had hated him ever since he got a brush tangled in your baby dolls hair and accidentally ripped out a chunk, bringing you to lock him out on the balcony.

as you got older, sure you were attracted to him but you had to push it down, your hate always over powered it and he would remind you why you hated him in the first place.

the rumors always circulated around school that you were dating but no matter how your stomach flipped when you imagined you two dating, you forced it down.

he was an asshole, really. he wasn’t kind to you, he was cocky, and he would pull your hair any chance he got. it was typical child’s play, every morning at your locker you would put your things away and he would stalk behind you and tug on whatever hairstyle you had that day.

he infuriated you, right?

“tell me right now that wasn’t you.” you said as you pointed to the mess in your room, your clothes all on the floor and your vanity fucked up.

“it wasn’t me.” he said with a smirk, leaning up against your door frame.

“elvis i’m going to kick your ass i swear to god, get out of here so i can clean this up.” you said pushing his solid chest out of your apartment.

he put his hands up in surrender, smiling as he walked out the door.

you had come home to him already in your kitchen, stealing food and looking through your room.

this was a daily occurance, you would yell, he would leave, he’d come back and you’d hang out.

you were hooking your last shirt back onto a hanger as he knocked on your door, as you sighed you made your way to the door, letting him in.

“you calmed down yet, mama?“ he said looking in your eyes.

“that’s nauseating, don’t call me mama.” you said rolling your eyes and turning around as you mumbled a quick “close the door”, making your way back to your room.

he flicked through one of the many magazines you had as you did your homework on your bed, humming.

“did you know i have a performance tomorrow night, it’s this real uppity thing, they want me to sing.” he said as you looked up.

you snickered as he shook his head, “i don’t believe it.”

“cant you you be happy for me? this whole hate thing is a real pain in the ass.” he scoffed.

“elvis, i have never heard you sing or talk about singing a day in my life.” you softly spoke, trying to de escalate the situation as you put your hand in his thigh, him quickly pushing it off.

“no, i’m sick of you acting like a bitch. we’ve known eachother basically all of our lives can i catch a break.” he sneered

“what is all of this, why do you care so much all of a sudden.” you were overwhelmed with the sudden heaviness of the room, looking up at him with big eyes as he stood up.

“only people who know are my folks and you, i thought you could at least push away some of the hatred you have for me and be a little happy.” he was looking out the window now, hand smoothing over his forehead.

“okay, i’m happy for you, it was just a shock. i didn’t even say anything i don’t know why you’re so upset.”

a beat of silence went by before he walked over to the bed, looking down at you. “i try to make things normal between us constantly but all you seem t’care about is hating me.”

you couldn’t get a word out before he started up again, “i’m gonna go, come to the show tomorrow. wait until i’m done with my time slot backstage. we can talk then.”

——————————————————————————

you kept your legs crossed as you sat on the couch in his dressing room, smoothing out the skirt on your dress as you heard the finishing notes to the song playing.

you couldn’t believe it was elvis, if you ignored the fact it was your neighbor it was actually quite good.

you were nervous, things ended very tensely between you two the last afternoon and you could barely sleep because of it.

you stared at the door, mind racing.

he hasn’t spoken a word to you, sneaking you into the back without a passing glance.

the door opened suddenly and you were making eye contact with him.

you saw him in a different light, his hair sweaty and eyeliner smudged, causing your thighs to rub against eachother.

you quickly stood up, hands playing with each other behind your back.

“you like the music?” the said turning to look into the lit up mirror.

you felt instant relief that he didn’t make things awkward, cracking a smile at him in the reflection.

“don’t think i haven’t forgotten about last night darlin’” he said turning around, darkness taking over his features.

he started to walk forward, causing you to move back, gasping when you hit the wall.

“elvis-“ he cut you off with your foreheads touching, causing your breathing to pick up as he moved his hands to your waist.

“don’t think i haven’t seen the way you look at me. these past few years, it’s just been building. you felt it too haven’t you?” he was practically panting in your ear.

“elvis this is crazy, you’re just feeling adrenaline from the show.”

he shook his head against yours, “tell me to stop and i will.”

you paused and let the silence consume the room.

he immediately swooped in and connected your lips, your stomach flipping as you brought your hand to the side of his face.

you had wanted this for so long and now it was finally happening, you wanted to scream.

quickly he moved you two to the dressing table, your lower back brushing against the uncomfortable wood.

you moaned into his mouth as his knee pressed up against you, he pulled away as you intertwined your hands with his hair.

“i know we both want it, but for any reason if you want this to stop talk now.”

you could barely hear him over your breathing but you shook your head, biting your lip.

with a quick nod he grabbed your hips and flipped you over, hands grasping onto the table as you looked up at him over your shoulder, eyes hazy.

he kicked your legs apart from behind and he hooked his fingers into the hem of your underwear, pulling them down and flipping your dress up.

you practically fucked your self against his clothed erection, putting your head into your arms in embarrassment.

“god, look at you, huh? i knew you wanted this as badly as me” he said pulling your head up by a makeshift ponytail.

he took his time undoing his belt and pulling his pants down, he threw his blazer on the couch behind you as he aligned his tip with you.

shoving in slowly, you whined out as you let him stretch you out.

“you can go” you managed to spit out as you felt yourself contract around him.

he slowly started to thrust in and out as he went to kiss your neck, your head pulled back against his shoulder.

your mouth hung open as you turned your head to him, looking up into his eyes as he placed kisses on your open mouth.

your eyes squeezed shut, foreign feelings taking over you.

“don’t act like such a prude, acting like i can’t hear you filling yourself up at night and moaning my name”

you whimpered, humiliation filling your body, but he wasn’t done. “too bad your hearing isn’t as good as mine, bet you would’ve heard me too.”

you couldn’t breathe, tears were coming out of the corner of your eyes as your body tingled against him.

it was sinful, you weren’t even married. but you couldn’t stop yourself from pushing back on him, finding new angles,

you could feel yourself squeezing him, deep groans going straight into your mouth, profanities coming out of his.

his hand wrapped around to rub your clit, causing you to yell out, you could barely keep your eyes open as his thrusts became sloppy.

heat grew at the front of your lower stomach, the pressure getting tighter until he administered one last pinch to your clit that sent you keeling over, crying into the wooden table that the side of your face met.

he worked you through it before he murmured something about not being able to finish inside of you.

before you knew it you were being pushed on your knees, looking up.

he tapped the tip on your tongue, your lips wrapping around it as you moved to cup his swollen balls, from the moan that came from him you could tell he was close.

not soon after he was spilling into your mouth, you immediately swallowed.

after getting up he wiped your chin and you let yourself fall into him, engulfed in his scent, letting your arms wrap around him.

“think this was enough to fix your attitude?”

[horror102]

Restless nights

TW: Smut, Size K!nk, F! Reader, 0ral, Anal,

(Black female reader X black Adam!)

“Adam?” She called out for him after a long day out with her friends. Silence, she had texted him that she hadn’t had a very welcoming day.

They had left her out, well that’s how she felt.

“Adam?” She coed once again, and wanting the comfort of his presence near her.

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw her handsome lovely husband. Quietly he touched her shoulder, automatically he heard her heart calm itself and sooth.

“Adam.” She spoke. Placing her hand on top of his. A small smile on her face. Only to turn around and realize what laid upon his face wasn’t very pleasant.

Though, to her it wasn’t that much of a big deal. That was always how he looked, no matter how he felt, he never expressed it outwardly.

“You don’t look as you normally do, what’s the matter?”

His heart skipped a beat, though usually his face had flat unnoticeable changes, she noticed.

“Nothing.” He stated.

Walking away though honestly he had crippling things on his mind, he watched her pout in response of him not communicating with her. And God did he feel guilty, he just didn’t want to trust again, he didn’t want to get hurt like last time he put his trust in an ordinary human.

“Adam, sit.”

She demanded, his eyebrows raised at the sudden change of tone. Though his sweetheart was never like this so simply yet reluctantly he obeyed.

“Listen to me Adam, I know. I know it’s hard to trust someone, and I won’t say that I can relate on your level of experience because to each its own. But I love you, my God Adam I married you! And even though you don’t trust me, I just want you to know it’s okay. It’s okay to find it a hassle at first, to find it hard. But listen carefully. You can trust me, I will never do harm to your heart. I love you Adam, and hopefully you’ll come around to talking to me more. To communicating, to expressing yourself. Goodnight Adam.”

She walked away from him, though he couldn’t help but feel some type of way about it, he could hear her heart pat in a beat that was different from when he appeared,

More saddened, more disappointed, yet still filled with patience and care.

Before she got out of arms reach he clasped her hand, her soft doughy looking eyes eyed him up and down, curiosity.

Her heart started to beat, as fast as he ever heard it.

“I love you too.”

His voice was stern, eyeing the fact that her hand looked so small in his. Her body petite and gentle. Needed to be held with care, yet here he was.

She jumped, she hugged him, she kissed his face, sitting in his lap she kissed his lips.

God, she drove him insane. Her tiny chubby thighs coating his, her soft chocolate skin shining in the moon light.

His hands placed themselves gently onto her waist, nails digging into her waist line.

He smashed his lips back into hers, forcing his tongue through her plump lips. He was coming for it all. An indescribable hunger.

Quickly, and carefully. He walked towards the bedroom, not wanting her to get a headache from unnatural speed.

Placing her on top of the bed spreads, lightly placing her down. A quick nod of affirmation before taking off her shirt, ripping it in two.

A small look of admiration, how beautiful she looked spread out, thighs apart, with wetness leaking through. Her stomach folds covered with the marks of his nails.

Her chest was laid out in front him, he didn’t know how to react, of course they had sex on their honeymoon. But never with such harsh love.

“Are you sure Adam?”

God he made himself look like a fool, why would such a tiny woman have to make sure he was okay. He was practically a god. And she took his urges into consideration.

He pulled out his cock, she was a like dwarf to him she was so much shorter than him. His cock looked so monstrous near her small cunt.

Aligning himself, obviously since she was a grown woman she hadn’t been a virgin. Yet still, he had to be cautious not to literally split her in halves, after all these years they haven’t had sex.

He pushed slowly, hearing her gasp and heart race, listening closely to the sound of her cunt tearing.

He pushed again, listening to her cry. He smiled, for the first time in two years, he smiled.

Watching her cunt leak around him, he pushed harder, she couldn’t handle it. But this is what she wanted, this is what she deserves for being such a good girl.

“Adam.”

She coed, crying and her tits bouncing as he thrusted harder. He had to slow down as he heard her tear once again.

“Yeah baby?”

She became flustered and so did he. It just slipped out as his cock slipped in.

She tried to push him away, trying to be released so she wouldn’t cum all over him. Yet he kept her in place watching little squirts of cum coat him.

A chuckle and a smirk, “such a good girl.”

He flipped her over, and she was so plump and tiny. He just wanted to fuck her dead.

“Fuck.”

He growled low into her ear, obviously he knew he began to get overstimulated. The way she’d squirt, and how her tits flopped around.

“Adam, enough!.”

He didn’t stop, he couldn’t. He wanted to fuck the shit out of her, too show her that he cares, that he’ll change.

“I can’t hmmpfh handle it!”

She clawed on his back as he pressed her legs up towards her chest giving her easier access to her cunt.

Thrusting in and out her pussy, her warmth coating him as she became all full and mushy inside.

“I’m almost done.”

He chuckled, grabbing her thighs and slamming himself into her cunt, making her scream and roll her eyes back. She dug her nails into his skin.

“Adam, fuck, oh fuck, help Adam.”

She couldn’t handle it, she started whimpering as the heat of his nutt coated her insides.

“It’s okay, it’s all over.”

He pulled his cock out. Watching his tip leave her cunt as her pussy dripped.

He turned around to talk to her, to communicate but his sweetheart had passed out.

He patted her thigh as he went up to grab a wash cloth and towel, running a hot bubble bath as he placed her body in.

Cleaning and scrubbing the nutt off, and a little blood from the stretches of how he ripped her.

Reminiscing of how huge his cock was stretching her little hole.

Poor baby. He thought

[caroldantops]

The house Natasha had brought you guys to was… well, not exactly luxury. When you arrived dust covered almost every surface, the floorboards creek and shake with every movement, and walls were so thin that you could hear the quietest of sounds across the house. But, you couldn’t expect luxury when you’re on the run from the UN. So you make due, happy that you get to travel from country to country with you’re girlfriend and best friend.

You were currently pressed into the mattress, the springs pushing into your back and Wanda’s weight on top of you. Her mouth is pressed deliciously against your neck, sucking and licking the spots she knows make your vision go hazy. Your hands are buried in her freshly dyed hair, the red unfamiliar but surprisingly suiting. You let out a gasp as Wanda’s teeth brush against a particularly sensitive stop, “if you keep going I won’t be a- able to stop,” you murmur, your hands tightening in her hair.

“Mmm,” she hums against your skin, “who says I want to stop?”

You tilt your head to the side to give her better access, “Nat will hear us.”

Wanda let’s out a breathy laugh, the air warm against your skin, “baby, we literally heard her vibrator last night. And the night before that. Oh and in Greece we saw her-“

“Ok ok, i get the point.”

She moves down to your collarbone, “Tasha won’t care. Knowing her she’ll just tease us, and then we’ll all move on.”

Your eyes slip shut, “can we-“ you’re cup off by a groan when Wanda’s fingers ghost against one of your nipples, “can we move to the shower?”

Wanda continues to suck and kiss, “sure baby,” she stands up with a groan and pulls you with her.

Before you can even registered what’s happened, you’re naked, pressed into the corner of the shower with your hand against your mouth and Wanda kneeling between your thighs. A third orgasm rips through you, and your hips jump, your feet slip and you’re only saved by a mist of red that comes up to support you. You can feel yourself dripping, your thighs are shaking and chest heaving.

“Just- fuck- just give me a second to catch my breath, and I’ll pay you back,” you’re still gasping for breath.

You feel Wanda chuckle against your thigh, her cheek resting against it and hands wrapped around you, “it’s ok baby. I know I’m incredibly skilled, take your time,” you roll your eyes at her as she kisses your thigh.

Eventually your legs feel shaky instead of complet jello, and you pull Wanda up. You find her clit easily, and, unlike you, she isn’t worried about Natasha hearing her. You try to stifle her moans with your mouth, but she’s too far gone. You circle your fingers particularly hard and at the right angle, and suddenly it’s her who almost falls.

You don’t stop, instead slipping two fingers inside of her, giving her no time to recover, “fuck- a little to the left- there you go. Just like that, so good for me. Always so good.”

You keep going, ripping gasps and curses and moans from her lips, but something seems off. Eventually, her face contorts in frustration, “baby, stop-“ immediately you pull away, concerned, “I’m sorry I just, well, I have to pee.” Her cheeks are slightly flushed.

She goes to step out, but you grab her by the wrist, “don’t, it’s ok. Just go.”

Her eyes brows raise, “honey, you don’t have to do that for me. Just give me a few seconds, I’ll be right back.”

She goes to pull away again, but you don’t let go, “please mommy. Let me help you.”

She stares at you for a see seconds, “ok, ok. If you’re sure.” She moves back into the shower, “ready?” You nod, and you watch as pee starts to trickle out of her, you can’t help the loud moan that escapes you. You drop to your knees in front of her, and watch, the stream occasionally splattering onto your face. You bring your hands up and sigh as the warmth spreads down your arms, running down onto your chest and legs.

Your hand drops between your own thighs, and you sigh as your fingers find your clit, Wanda’s hands burry in your hair, pulling you closer. You cum immediately, hard and fast. Loud moans spill out of you.

Eventually she finishes, and you both make your way out of the shower. You step out of the bathroom to see Natasha lounged against the couch, a book in her lap and smirk on her lips, “so watersports huh? Didn’t expect that,” you both let our chuckles as Natasha stands up and pushes past you, headed towards her bedroom, “oh, and If you ever want a third, just let me know. Happy to help.”

-🦔

*bites my fist and sCreams*

[weliketheiroldstuff]

Lamb of God's Omens Tour brings Killswitch Engage, Baroness, and Suicide Silence to Michigan Lottery Amphitheatre

After the Cleveland debacle last night I was so unbelievably stoked to work this show with four truly awesome bands. Suicide Silence is one of the heaviest bands ever. Baroness was the only one I haven’t seen live yet and they were so good. Killswitch Engage is responsible for a massive amount of influence on so many bands and musicians and artists. Then there’s literally one of the biggest bands in all of metal music over the last 20 years, Kings… Lamb of God. I really can’t think of a bigger band when it comes to the new wave of American heavy metal that isn’t lumped into Nu Metal or Metalcore…

I mean, Slipknot are kings right, then who after that, as far as weight? Manson, but he’s a turd so he got flushed. Um, Deftones? Sure maybe, not Kings though. Kings of the hypersexual metal kids yeah. I mean there’s like Parkway Drive and Avenged Sevenfold. But now we’re talking two bands who have sacrificed their credibility for a broader audience. See what I’m saying? God, don’t take that the wrong way, or do, who cares anymore? I think for the metal band with their hands still stuck in the roots of the underground, LoG has a rightful stake at the throne. I mean, I just disqualified all the bands mentioned, not much left after that… Korn, but that’s Nu Metal royalty, it’s different. Five Finger Death Punch, nope fucking can sell out Wembley and I won’t acknowledge that blue line supporting dorky cop rock bull shit as a part of this. Nine Inch Nails, I mean fuck no, industrial Lords, yes, kings of new wave of heavy metal? Shut up. They’re barely on the outskirts of this network of bands. And they pre-date pretty much all of them. System of a Down? Maybe? But ya gotta play some shows and make music to be the current Kings. Safe to say, Lamb of God is up there, and do they ever deliver. The new record drops the day this comes out and everything I have heard from it says it’s going to rip and tear metalhead eardrums for a long time coming. Ya know what, I will save it for my review of the record this weekend.

I have been a fan of Suicide Silence since the first record. Mitch’s voice and the grooves Chris writes have always been some of my favorites in deathcore. They helped define a genre. They helped push it. And they dropped a new tune recently and oddly enough so did Torn Within, which features former members Rick Ash and Josh Goddard who were on the original lineup and releases, Mark actually replaced Rick. And then Lopez replaced Josh. Wild. What’s crazy about this is that the Torn Within song is a basement demo in comparison to the newest Suicide Silence song “You Must Die”. Hear it below!

What did I say? Told ya it rips. Should’ve seen my face when they played it live while we were photographing them. That “FUCK YOUR LIFE…. DEATHWISH” breakdown felt like my chest was caving in. Granted they were on a massive amphitheatre stage setup, still. It hits so fucking hard. When the next Suicide Silence tour comes up and they roll through your town, if you skip on this band, that’s on you. I have no idea what’s going on with them but I fucking love it. I don’t know if it was Covid revitalized the boys, or personal lives have gotten better, or just being back on the road and working on a new record, if it’s all of it. All I know is when I witnessed them play that new shit it bitch slapped any remaining negative about their previous songwriting choices. I honestly feel like when they stay in that early wheelhouse, they fucking write the coolest riffs and breakdowns. I know that a lot of bands try to evolve their sound and style but I think this is one of those bands that will continue to grow their audience by getting back to this just belligerently heavy deathcore. The fuck you attitude works perfectly with it. The band is called Suicide Silence not Happy Fucking Metal Guys. Like, smoke the weeds, drink the whiskeys, write the heaviest shit, and you will remain atop the deathcore world. You could feel it watching them that all of this has been a piece of it. Let’s just do what we’re good at, and the truth is they’re way better than just good at it. Master of the breakdown man. I love it. It’s taking the heaviest riffs from downtuned Nu Metal and giving it death metal drums and my fucking whole existence just wants to hug these mother fuckers.

I don’t have a history with Baroness. I have heard some songs over the years. I know a little bit about the backstory and stuff but this was a pretty virgin moment for me. I try to be as much of a connoisseur of music as possible, especially of the heavy variety. My wheelhouse is hardcore, nu-metal, punk, deathcore, and emo, and then I know a little bit about most of the subgenres of metal. The droney, stoner, more 70s-influenced style of bands has always kinda blended together for me. Over the years I have been so picky about this stuff but Baroness was always one that stayed on the list of bands I was intrigued by. I literally have them and I like Mastodon, Clutch, Melvins, Down, Kyuss, and my favorites Corrosion of Conformity, and I dive into a little Doom with Pallbearer, Neurosis, Trouble, Cathedral, and Candlemass. It’s all derivative directly from Black Sabbath. This is Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler fans more than anything, don’t @ me you old bastards! Baroness is like a weird step outside of the box. I didn’t feel the way I did after watching them as I did watching High on Fire or Mothership or The Melvins. All like ripped my face off with their energy ya know? Baroness won me over with just straight-up incredible songwriting. Like I loved the 3 songs I photographed by them and I walked out feeling more disappointed in myself. Usually, I’m relieved that I finally photographed a band I’ve been chasing for a while. That’s the normal feeling. I left being upset with myself for not being into them more and earlier. It’s like I knew walking back to VIP that I had to reward myself with Chicken Tenders because there was no way I would be able to sit there for the next 45 minutes and not beat myself up. I need energy, I need food, and I need to get over the fact that I tell people not to sleep on bands, and I legit slept on Baroness.

After Baroness, we walked back to VIP and I let them know I was going to get food. I asked if they knew where the chicken tender stand was, and I was informed that it was the first booth, on the opposite side of the venue. Ughhhhhhhh. So, tubby mchighasfuck starts to speedwalk or so it seemed in my head, then I realized I was just regular walking and just buzzed. It seemed like it took the entire time to get there. Once I finally got there I then did a light yogging around the amphitheater to get to where the media hounds were chilling amidst drunken VIP’s and bored security. I then noticed we were leaving to go to the photo pit and my dinner is in my hands. Look, I understand it’s kinda funny to some people that a stoner photographer would be walking into a photo pit eating chicken tenders and fries… but it was so much funnier to me. I have always loved seeing people getting down with food, or with their cameras, or in a weird outfit, or whatever. But a chubby stoner with a beer and a chicken finger basket is just, it’s so on brand.

This is the second time I photographed KSE this year and my third time in total. They are one of the 2016 bands. A reminder any band photographed in 2016 is earmarked for being a foundational piece to the photography side of ILTOS. No one from Warped Tour 2016 used my work besides The Interrupters. But when I photographed the final Dirt Fest in Pontiac, almost all those artists shared my work. Jesse was I think the first one to do so. So crazy. With that being said, this was a special set as I got my chicken tenders and literally walked into the photo pit eating them. I was so elevated and had all sorts of emotions and tons of adrenaline going, but I was so fucking hungry… I shoveled the rest of my food into my face while laughing about how ridiculous it was and then photographed the dudes rip through 3 songs, one of them being “My Last Serenade” which was the first one that hit me directly, back when it was released. Bands, it should be obvious how we feel about you playing your older material. You gotta throw us a bone here. And KSE does it so well.

Shoutout to the Chicken Tender Booth Staff.

My photographic history with this band is one show, Slayer’s last in Michigan. I have relished that experience for years. To me, that night solidified I was willing to do whatever as I wobbled on a sprained ankle the entire time. Fun walking up and down Pine Knob’s steps after walking through the rain too. Wild experience and so thankful for it. Although I have been waiting for a Lamb of God headliner here that I could get access to for the entire time I have been doing this shit. This band has been dropping singles for their new record Omens for a minute now and today is the day it dropped. I waited to finish this piece so I could release it today along with a few new assets that will drop to help promote the post and the record. Straight up, it’s heavy as fuck and it basically shuts every Art Cruz doubter the fuck up. 10 songs and now these dudes can shut up. So fucking good. I’m not going to go any further about the album… The dudes came out ripping into “Memento Mori” and got the fire going in “Walk With Me In Hell” and absolute chaos during “Now You’ve Got Something To Die For. As an older Lamb of God fan, I could not be more impressed with their live show. It was fucking HELL in the photo pit though. We had you know, two dozen security, a dozen VIP’s, tour guys, and about 10 photographers. It was a bit crowded. Thank Fuck, it is a rather deep pit and there is room, but yeah it was a bit too chaotic to do the job at 100%. It’s why you just gotta roll with what ya get. Sometimes the situation is not ideal whatsoever. This was very frustrating but it just happens sometimes. Be fluid, and just do what you can. No reason to be a dick about anything. And besides, being a dick at a Lamb of God show to another LoG fan or someone working the event is pretty counterintuitive to the ideals pushed by this band. Which has always been soaked in the DIY Hardcore ethos of which they came from and are most influenced by. Remember, these are hardcore kids playing metal and that’s why this shit is so special. These aren’t heshers. These aren’t black metal dudes or death metal guys. These are badass open-minded folks who literally got to go to hardcore shows in DC in the 80s and 90s. I feel like I’m repeating myself.

Check out the gallery below! All photos by yours truly! Thank you Lamb of God for having me out for this one, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and am glad I could get some shots and add an experience to my memory banks.

LISTEN AND DOWNLOAD ‘OMENS’ HERE

www.lamb-of-god.com www.facebook.com/lambofgod https://twitter.com/lambofgod http://instagram.com/lambofgod https://www.facebook.com/killswitchengage https://twitter.com/kseofficial http://www.killswitchengage.com https://instagram.com/killswitchengage http://yourbaroness.com https://www.instagram.com/yourbaroness https://www.facebook.com/YourBaroness https://twitter.com/yourbaroness https://suicidesilence.store/ https://www.facebook.com/suicidesilence/ https://www.instagram.com/suicidesilence/ https://twitter.com/suicidesilence

[oh-holy-slut]

Bloodlust

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, blood sharing, mentions of death, oral sex

Word Count: 2,6k

Summary: Stefan forced Damon to try his animal diet. Damon hated it, but didn't had a choice... until Reader makes a suggestion. Suddenly things get steamy.

Being with Damon was complicated. Him and Y/N have seen each other a lot in the past weeks. The two of them had a lot of fun; saw a lot of movies. Actually, Y/N was sure Damon secretly hated many of those. However, anytime Y/N suggested another dramatic, romantic cliché movie like "Last Song" - the vampire groaned, put his arm around her shoulder, let her head rest on his chest and endured every single second of the movie of her choice.

Damon even flirted and teased Y/N here and there, but didn't lead to anything more intimate so far.

Today was another of those days. Y/N stuck around at the Salvatore boarding house, brought a few of Damon's favorite groceries and a bunch of movies, of which she thought that they will suit his taste. Even if they were a little to bloody and brutal in her opinion.

"Pick one!", she demanded, holding all three Blu-ray sleeves in front of him. Damon just shrugged, not bothering to even look.

"Don't be a killjoy, Damon Salvatore!" Y/N sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong or pick a movie. You've got no choice. And besides that... Which number of drink is this?" Y/N frowned, pointing at the liquor in her friends hand. Damon usually consumed his beloved bourbon with pleasure.

But the man on the couch didn't seem pleasured at all. His facial features totally hardened and a look in his eyes like he was ready to rip someone's heart out.

You put the disc's back in your handbag, closing the zipper and put the bag on the floor.

"Fine. No movie night today. Who are we going to kill?"

A small smirk appeared on Damon's lips, finally looking towards Y/N.

"Stefan and his hero hair. He made me go vegetarian... well, for a vampire... and I can't get myself to eat one of those chipmunks, bunnies or bambis." He shook himself with disgust.

"And why did he count you in? You clearly aren't excited about the changing... So, why did you agree?"

"He said, he would kill me, which is kinda funny. But-" Damon made a wide gesture "he stole my daylight ring. And he wouldn't give it back until I stop feeding on innocent people - and kill them."

"So, you truly let your younger brother blackmail you like that?! Wow... I don't know how to feel about your dieting or your new path. Or whatever this is supposed to be."

"You don't like me killing people either", Damon maintained, while taking another sip of bourbon.

"Well, I don't", Y/N agreed, took a step forward, stole the glass from the vampires hand and put it on a small table nearby. "But I don't believe in forcing as a method to get people to change their minds. I believe that change for the better must be an intrinsic motivation," she added quickly, giving the vampire an innocent smile.

Damon's lineaments suddenly turned from annoyed to curious. "Any suggestions, little one?" The vampire raised an eyebrow and a little smirk showed up on his lips. On the one hand, Y/N blushed over the nickname, Damon called her.  On the other hand she felt skittish looking forward to making a deal with him. Not only a deal. It's far more than a simple agreement.

It's Y/N, actually giving Damon a part of her. The red elixir of life. She was about to give him total control of her body and she not even for a heartbeat doubt that Damon will use it against her.

"Actually... Yeah. There's something on my mind." Y/N said chewing on your lip. "I could open up a vein for you. I mean, you could feed on me. And since you have my permission, there's nothing for anybody to have objection about."

Damon frowned and gave her an incredulous look. "You would do that for me?" The vampire couldn't believe, he understood correctly. Why would Y/N want to get involved with him feeding on her? What's in it for her? Damon tried hard to connect the dots, but he wasn't able to. It all seemed to make no sense. Y/N wouldn't have an advantage of that. The vampire hesitated, pinning his dangerously blue eyes on the girl in front of him.

"Is it so suspicious of me, that I'm trying to help my closest friend?" It pierced Y/N's heart, realizing, Damon's trust in her was rather fragile. "Never mind", she waved the pain away and forced herself to keep her composure. "I only had a hasty idea; you really don't need to fee-"

Suddenly Damon appeared behind Y/N, using his vampirism. "Shhhh", he whispered softly. "I never said, that I don't want your blood. I'm thinking about if we are going to cross a line? Blood sharing can be very personal..."

"It can be? It is personal already. Believe it or not - I'm not gonna offer my veins to all the vampires of Mystic Falls." Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms folded on her chest to point out the indignation she felt right now.

"Kinda sensitive today, huh?" Damon gently stroke a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N could hear this smug smirk through his words. It was a true 'Damon thing' to do. "I didn't mean it like that, princess." He sighed; unsure if he should agree or not. Damon didn't want to act selfish towards Y/N. He compelled a lot of girls for the purpose of drinking blood in the past. He literally used them as long as they weren't too annoying - and then he acted like they have never met. Damon Salvatore couldn't imagine this scenario with Y/N. They've been so close, the vampire couldn't stand loosing her. The offer was risky, but it also could bring each other even closer.

Damon tried hard to avoid any serious attraction between Y/N and him, afraid of messing up. Indeed, he found himself thinking, and even dreaming, about Y/N more than he wanted to admit. She was smart and had this special sense of humor, the vampire adored so much. She was the only one, who could make him feel good no matter what. Needless to say she had that glimmer in her eyes, when she did something she truly loved. In these moments she was even more pretty. Y/N was hard to resist.

And maybe now he could have her like nobody else. At least the vampire gave in. He wanted her blood. He wanted her.

Y/N flinched by the feeling of Damon brushing her neck with his lips.  "Oh, Damon", she gasped. "Bite me." Y/N almost begged for the vampire's teeth breaking through her skin. Damon loved the sound of her husky voice. In less than a heartbeat he turned into his vampire shape. "If you insist", he grinned devilishly, ready to place his teeth on to her skin.

Suddenly Y/N made a slight move forward with the intention to interrupt her friend. "Did you change your mind?" Damon was close to switching back to human, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Mostly a lack of understanding, but also a little of disappointment and even anger. Was Y/N playing games on him? While Damon Salvatore was sorting feelings, Y/N turned around, standing now in front of him.

She was so close, not even a piece of paper would fit between them.

Y/N slightly exhaled breath, her eyes darting between the vampires eyes and lips. It was the first time Y/N saw him like this. The icy blue of his eyes, she loved so much, has turned darker. Purple veins appeared under his eyes; Y/N couldn't help herself. Damon's appearance fully intoxicated every fibre of her being. Her fingertips found their way gently brushing over his dark purple veins. She felt heat and softness, while tracing one of them.  It took her a few seconds to get out of trance, realizing what she had done. "Sorry", she murmured with a voice barely audible. "Don't apologize, little one." Damon tilted his head, his lips curled up in a self-assured grin, exposing a perfectly white vampire fang. "I never saw you like this before, you loo-"

"... look like a monster?"

Y/N shook her head. It was nothing like that. Yes, he did look unfamiliar. And she should be scared under normal conditions. Instead, his look hit her in an unexpected way. He looked hotter as a vampire, if it was even possible. 

Y/N cleared her throat, looking up at Damon. "I feel... attracted to you."

"So nothing's changed", Damon teased, raising his eyebrows. The girl in front of him softly slapped him on his shoulder; which was only possible because the vampire permitted. "You are always so full of yourself." She smirked, feeling more confident being to something, they have had been so many times before. Granted, he was terrifying accurate, but she wouldn't serve her feelings on a silver platter.

"I'm still into it. You can bite me; feed on me. I only needed to see you before..." 

A shockwave of electricity flowed through her body the second Damon took her hand and pulled her close.

"I'll be careful", he promised, nuzzling his head into the nap of her neck. Damon once again placed his lips on her soft skin. 

Suddenly a harsh pain made Y/N feel like in a kind of haze. She flinched and let out a groan at the same time, unintentionally biting her lower lip. 

During Damon embedded his fang deeper and deeper, she started feeling dizzy. Her hands searched for the vampires upper body, finally wrapped around his neck. She needed him to lean on. A narrow trickle of blood flowed down her neck. Let Damon feed on her felt like flames licking up every fiber of her body. 

With every passing second Y/N could feel her control slip away. Her body was now firmly pressed against Damon's, like she would want to merge them into one.

Damon noticed her staggering, wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her.

Bloodlust already messed up the vampires mind, so he continued feeding on Y/N.

A tempting moan escaped her lips, but she didn't care to cover up. Y/N's heart was racing, her eyes flattering. It was almost as if he was about to push her over the edge, but in a different way. "Mmm, this...this… feels soo weird... and so good...", she whispered under a shallow breath.

As soon as Damon heard her fading voice, he abruptly

quitted drinking from her.

"Fuck!" He rapidly laid her on his lap and checked Y/N's vital signs, to make sure she was okay. Instinctively he bit his wrist, pressed it against Y/N's mouth. He knew his blood would heal her, but it wasn't going fast enough. A few seconds passed through, to him they felt like centuries. Y/N finally blinked and Damon was relieved. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze never leaving hers. "I thought, I'd gone-" Damon cleaned his throat. "I'm so glad, you are doing well", he whispered, while trailing her lips with his fingertips. "So, fuckin' glad..." The vampire exhaled a deep breath. 

"It... You made me feel good. Strange, but good", Y/N appeased and flushed over the memory. "Maybe you got a little carried away, but I don't mind. I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything."

Y/N quickly interrupted herself, before she could reveal too much.

However, Damon used his vampire skills, noticing that Y/N was hiding something from him. "Isn't there anything else you want me to know?", Damon asked without taking his eyes off her. Y/N shifted and flushed even more. "It's unfair. You use your vampirism to get everything out of me."

"Well, if that were the case, I could easily compel you." Damon shrugged and found back to his smugly self. "Tell me, what you are hiding". He said in a seductive voice.

"I wanted to get lost in you."

Her confession sent shivers all over the vampires body. At first he could not decide, how to handle this. "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you..." Y/N hummed.

In the next split second, Damon pinned Y/N against a wall, smashing his lips on hers, kissing her with all the passion he had to give. The vampire devoured Y/N with a new kind of hunger. He didn't know he could crave someone so much.

"Fuck me, Damon..."

The vampire felt him getting hard, only by hearing those little three words out of her mouth.

"Say it louder. Tell me, what you want me to do."

Y/N pulled him closer, gently biting his earlobe.

"Fuck... me, Damon." It took her a second to focus and forming the words again. After she was near to climax earlier, it wasn't a long way getting to the edge once more. "Make me cum... You almost had me there..."

A deep moan got over the vampires lips, once he understood, what Y/N was trying to tell him.

With the next blink Y/N found herself in Damon's bedroom, lying on his bed.

From now on there weren't many words needed. Damon's hand's found their way under her shirt, cupping her breasts and make her moan over and over again.

He closely listened to the rhythm of her heart, making sure he would be able to delay her climax to the point he needed her to.

"Don't cum yet... I want to taste your little pussy first."

Y/N grabbed the vampires head, running her fingers through his dark hair - pushing him down, since she was unable to form a single word.

As Damon got down, he didn't take his eyes off Y/N.

He used a hand pushing up her skirt and lightly stroking over her panties with his fingertips.

"My girl is so wet", he praised in a low husky voice."-and I barely touched you."

His dirty words in combination with his touch lead to another moan, almost turned into a scream.

Damon pushed the fabric aside, leaving sloppy kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Y/N's eyes fluttered, when his soft lips reached her middle.

Damon's tongue licking around her entrance was driving her nuts.

"...so delicious..." were the only words she was able to catch up. Damon knew, he couldn't thrill her forever, so he got back to her. He spit on his palms, stroking his hand over his crotch. In under a second Y/N finally felt this releasing pressure of his cock. It was like a switch went off in her brain and she braced herself for the hard thrusts that would follow.

Damon dimmed the whining noises Y/N made with a passionate, hungry kiss.

He cheated with his vampirism to give it to her deeper and faster, knocking out all the air of her lungs while Y/N screamed out Damon's name. Her walls clenched around him and made him twitch. It was like her pussy massaged his dick the best way possible.

Every time he hit her harder and rougher he was making sure he hit her spot with every thrust.

Damon gathered speed one last time and pushed her over the edge until she was a moaning whimpering mess.

With her last contraction around his shaft, Damon was cumming inside her.

"You are so tight, little one", he whispered under his breath. "We should make arrangements more often."

Please like or/and reblog if you enjoyed reading or/and want me to write more stories about Damon.

Thanks guys ❤️

[keigosbirdie]

FEMALE READER VERSION

Of all Hawks’ secrets, you are the most well-kept.

Version: Female Reader version | Male Reader Version Links: Gifset (art only) | Mood Music

NIGHTHAWK Rating: Explicit   |   Word Count: 13k  | Art: 14 animations, 2 stills (Technically no spoilers, but if you aren’t caught up on the events of the manga you’ll be missing important context. The fic takes place after Hawks’ meeting with the commission.) Synopsis: Casual was the word you used when you first agreed to sleep together. As weeks turned into months turned into a year, those quick and dirty nights blossomed into private moments that earned him little pieces of you. Warnings: Dom!Hawks, Nurse!Reader, animalistic behavior, rough sex, quirk/feather play, light bondage, biting, praise kink, hurt/comfort, secret relationship, talk of past lovers, mentions of death, panic attacks, PTSD, mention of a past, non-canon event. Spicy, then bitter, then sweet.

There was nothing exceptional about your life from an outsider’s perspective. You lived in an apartment on the outskirts of Jaku City, unmarried and childless. During the day you attended medical school where you studied for your doctorate. During the evening you worked as a nurse in the intensive care unit. Then, when you were home, you sat alone for dinner at a kitchen table meant for two.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

For the past year, however, an occasional tap at your sixteenth-story window would break up the lonely monotony. The tap was quite a scandalous secret, not that anyone would believe you if you let it slip. Even you still had a hard time accepting the bizarre reality of the situation; but it was real. Just as real his voice, which you could hear echoing faintly through your apartment.

You glanced up from your lukewarm dinner and dropped your fork. For a long moment, you sat in silence, listening intently until you heard it again. It was him; it was his voice. Your heart pounded against your ribs as you shoved out of your chair and jogged to the window. The part between your curtains opened, but when you peeked through you saw only the glow of city lights below a blanket of darkness.

A frown found your face, and a sigh spilled past your lips. You heard his voice; you would never mistake it for another. It echoed casually against your dim walls again, and you turned your head towards the sweet sound. The television was on in the living room. Your heart dropped at the realization. The little square thing sat on your end table and taunted you with his image. 

There he was. Hawks, the winged hero, being interviewed by a woman in a pantsuit. It wasn’t often he did interviews, so you left your dinner to go cold in favor of watching the program.

He was dressed in his hero costume, his visor lifted to rest atop his blond, wind-whipped hair, and his scarlet wings folded politely against his back. A wide grin graced his face as he exchanged charming banter with the woman. She seemed enamored with his expression, but she didn't know him like you knew him. He was smiling, yes, but the edges of his eyes were crinkled with tension. When he chuckled, his wings folded a little harder against his back. His beats of laughter were calculated. Uncomfortable, that's what he was.

He’d been that way a lot lately.

"So, I'm sorry, I have to ask- Every bachelorette in the country is wondering, is there any special lady in your life?" the interviewer asked. It was airy and friendly in intent, but your lip twitched with faint annoyance anyway. Your face fell slack and you leaned back into your chair. 

"Well, I don't know about every bachelorette," he quipped. His face was a little grainy on your old TV screen, but you could see the slight pink in his cheeks. He was cute. So, very cute. It made you miss him that much more. "But my personal life, well, how alluring would I be if I didn't keep a few things a mystery?"

And a mystery it was, to everyone but you.

Thankfully, the woman interviewing him had enough tact to know when to move on. Their conversation mercifully veered away from his sex life—your sex life—and towards his agency. The television was a wondrous thing. His voice rang through your home despite his absence. It brought sadness, but also a bittersweet comfort. Viewing him live stung your soul. You watched until his interview ended with a commercial break, and then decided not to wait up for him again. That would only lead to another sleepless night. 

Still, the window remained unlocked for him as you called it a night. The yellow glow of your desk lamp died with a click, and you climbed into your bed. Sleep was always difficult. Many nights you laid awake as you thought about your ICU patients. The things you saw in the ward were enough to scar anyone. But if it wasn’t work that plagued your mind, it was him.

Casual was the word you’d used when you’d first agreed to sleep together. It was easy to swallow when he only snuck into your apartment at night for sex. For the first few months, that was it. He’d steal into your home through the cover of darkness and you’d share a violently passionate night. Then, he would vanish out your window until he craved you again. Which, thankfully, was often.

As weeks turned into months turned into a year, however, those quick and dirty nights blossomed into private moments that earned him little pieces of you. You realized you were in too deep when it became difficult to be unbothered by the casual daydreaming of others. His face was clipped to girls’ backpacks long before you knew him, but others, covered so openly in his merchandise, began to make you a touch bitter. His sex life had been speculated about in tabloids since his debut, but to keep your mouth shut while your friends contemplated the size of his penis became hurtful and emotionally taxing.

The only one you could confide those pains in was the man who unintentionally caused them, but Hawks was too sweet. If he knew just how much it tore you up, he’d surely break things off to spare you the misery.

You cursed yourself for getting lost in thoughts of him. Bemoaning the casual chatter of others as he gracefully balanced the weight of the world on his shoulders made you feel weak. You allowed your eyes to close, your breathing slowed, and your body relaxed into your mattress. By the mercy of whatever god watched over you, sleep slowly overtook all your other thoughts.

At least until a shuffle and a squeak made you toss in your sheets. A faint light spilled into your room from the window, and a coolness settled into your bed. You shivered. It was the fresh winter air from outside. The cold wasn't the only intruder. It was him. 

The light was dim, but a dark silhouette of flared wings blocked out the moonbeams. Your heart lurched in your chest at the dominant display. It was a habit of the bird in him to fluff up when his blood was hot. His predatory energy kept you submissively silent rather than greet him.

Floorboards creaked beneath his shoes. The pulls of their zippers clicked with the movement. His breath was heavy as he moved to your bed. You caught a vision of your lover’s face. Little flecks of snow followed in. They danced around the brilliance of his wings and settled into his hair. In the blue light of winter’s night, his gold eyes looked dazzling. They also harbored a glint of violence akin to the blown-out eyes of a predator in pursuit of prey.

It was a familiar look from the strange animal. He’d seemed so open and friendly when he’d first snuck into your hospital room to talk, but he shrugged away at hugs and only laughed awkwardly when you told him he was your best friend. He didn't understand that kind of closeness.

You’d learned how deep his discomfort ran through him when the relationship became sexual. His inept understanding of touch translated to violence in the bedroom. Sex was most comfortable for him when he thought of it as a battle. He'd hold you down and force you open. You'd dig teeth into his arms and rip out feathers with your fists. To submit to his pounding was capture, but to overstimulate him until he was too weak to hold you down was victory. Extreme? Perhaps to those who didn’t understand your trust in one another.

He'd at least offer a sappy hello before he pulled his dick out, though. Not tonight. He eyed you as if expecting you to run, as if he'd give chase if you decided to. Fuck, it caused the warmest tingle between your thighs. You’d missed him too badly to try to put up a fight.

He left his jacket abandoned on the floor, which offered a much better view of his slim body wrapped in his black bodysuit. His canines dug into the leather of his glove before he yanked his hand free with his teeth. You laid silent and already breathless. It'd been far too long since you last felt him. Your body was hot with need at the sight of his rigid wings alone. His eyes swept over you as he toyed with the front of his tan jeans. He didn't come very often in uniform. To watch him fondle himself through his costume was- god, was there a stronger word than ecstasy?

“I want you,” he said from your bedside.

"You can have me..." You breathed out. It was intended to sound sultry, but your tone was more akin to a pleading whisper. Your body ached for him before your heart did, after all. Old habits were hard to break.

"You've been waiting for me, like a good girl, haven’t you?" he cooed. Cooed, quite literally. A low and rumbling song reverberated from somewhere deep in his throat. Not a bit of you was avian, but your body reacted instinctively when you heard your mate's call.

"I should reward you."

His visor glinted in the dim light as he pulled it off his face and let it land on the floor. His earmuffs, too.

You bit down your grin as the weight of your mattress shifted under his knee. His ungloved hand neglected the bulge in his jeans to tend to you instead. Warm fingertips slipped beneath your covers and found the skin of your thigh. A small sigh spilled from his lips, and your body trembled.

"You missed my hands on you, didn't you?"

You only managed a nod as his fingers slid up and beneath your pajama top.

Your body sank deeper into your covers when he moved over you. One knee landed on either side of your hips. His bare hand played with your breast while the still gloved one ran through your hair. The leather of the glove was frigid from the cold, but his body radiated warmth. The sweetness of his cologne mingled with the harsh musk of sweat. The smell of him fogged your mind.

The pads of his fingers pinched and tugged at the pink bud he discovered on your chest, which earned him a harsh gasp.

"That's it. I love it when you sing like that," he chimed. His hot breath ghosted over the shell of your ear. Wefts of his hair brushed against your face as his teeth nibbled at your throat. You were trapped beneath the cage his body made. 

"These cute little tits of yours- god."

He wasn't usually so chatty when he was about to mount you, but every grumble that reverberated in his throat added to the tingle between your thighs. He could devour you whole and you would thank him for the honor.

Your hands slid up the sides of his tight bodysuit. The inky black fabric was harsh beneath your fingertips. You traced the patterns of its gold accents around to his back and up towards his wings. He stiffened when he felt you slide nearer to them. Between the plush feathers at the base of a wing, you wiggled a finger until you found the skin beneath. Then you gave the joint a brutal squeeze.

Instinctively, that glorious wing of his outstretched and shivered. The stems of his plumes flexed against your hand as they puffed twice their usual size. The longest of them brushed against the ceiling of your room, dwarfing your bodies beneath it.

You were always in awe of the sheer size and beauty of them.

"F-fuck. Not fair," he growled, and then his teeth sunk hard into your neck in vengeance. The harsh bite only made you desperate for more, so you fisted his feathers in your hand and gave a sharp yank. He gasped a hot breath into the nape of your neck. Fuck. You couldn't take the teasing anymore. 

Your hands relieved him of their cruelty to pull off your shirt. He faltered when your bare breasts were exposed. His golden irises became thin rings as the darkness of his pupils devoured them. The tip of his glistening tongue wetted his lips.

It was your turn to stare with sharp desire as you heard the click of his belt, then the pull of a zipper. You pushed yourself up to get a good view of him working his dick out of his bodysuit. The throbbing muscle hit him in the stomach. The sensation made him hiss between his teeth, and you whimpered in reply. 

"Hhm, you must be really hungry, the way you're staring at it," he mused before he spat into his palm and ran the wetness along the shaft. He quivered at the sensation. You quivered, too.

"Please." Your cheeks were flushed, and your chest quaked with desire. "I want to feel it, please." 

"Oh, don't worry. You’re gonna have all of this. Gotta get that pretty little pussy ready for my cock, though, don't we?" he hummed.

He reached into his plumage and pulled out a long, red feather. The thing wriggled between his pinched fingers as he presented it to you. The way it moved was unnatural, but you timidly took it in your grasp. The look on your face must have been telling of your confusion because he chuckled at your expression. He gave no direction. Instead, he watched with a mischievous curiosity as you turned it in your palm. The barbs vibrated independently of one another against your skin.

Your breath heaved when you realized why he had given it to you. His hands slid down your stomach as a pair of red feathers brushed against your sides. They dipped into the hem of your shorts, then pulled the fabric, sliding them down your legs until you were deprived of them. The cold from the open window seeped into your most sensitive places as his hands caressed your hips.

His fingertips stopped over a series of divots and deformities in your flesh. They were painful mementos of the night you met, and reminders of the sacrifice you had made for him a couple of years prior. He was a stranger when you chose to forgo your own survival to shield him from death. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth as he relived the agony with you, but placed kisses all over the scars. It felt like a plea for forgiveness, so you ran a loving hand through his hair.

A soft sound spilled from him, and then his head dipped down to drink in the sight of your bare body. You were naked beneath your shorts, so he hummed through gritted teeth when he teased your legs apart. He'd seen it all many, many times before, but the sight of your glistening pink sex brought about his cooing again. The sound was a deep and beautiful melody unlike anything you'd ever heard, but also purely sexual. It was his body's call to yours. It beckoned you like a siren.

“No panties, huh?” he murmured. His breath hitched and vibrated with his lustful song. “You’re already so wet, my god… how about you put that feather of mine to use?”

He sat back on his haunches. Those narrow eyes bore holes into your exposed body as he spat another thick glob of saliva onto his palm. His hand found his cock. His eyelids fluttered at the contact and he groaned softly as he pumped around it. His eyes drank your every movement. 

You spread your legs for his gaze and then brought the pulsing feather between your thighs. He could feel through them, in a sense. The thought alone caused you to exhale a soft moan, but it was anything but soft when the vibration teased your sex. He groaned, too, at the contact. 

Your body flexed and wiggled when you pressed it hard against your clit. The sensation made your eyes roll back. Your slickness dampened its vanes despite its semi-hard state, and your hips ground into the pleasure. He observed. His hand pumped faster with each desperate whimper his feather worked out of you. 

It wasn't long before he couldn't take simply watching anymore. 

The roughness of his stubble dragged along your breast as he closed his teeth around one of your pink buds. He suckled, and your fingers tangled in his hair as his feather jolted from your grasp. It worked your clit without your help, and hot air blew from his nose as he jerked himself off. You used the distraction to sneak a hand between your bodies. You wanted the hot skin of his cock against you. You wanted to touch and play; to taste and feel. A thick whimper spilled out of him when you ensnared his throbbing dick in your palm and squeezed.

His feather stopped pleasing you.

"I didn’t give you permission to touch, did I?" His wings flexed. The feathered limbs grew massive as their quills stood on end in a frightening display. They were beautiful and plush, but deadly weapons all the same. “Testing me, huh? You're that desperate for my cock?”

Yes, fuck yes you were. You opened your mouth to reply, but your voice cut out when he grabbed you by the wrist. He jerked your hand away from his sex, and you whined. Usually, you were a bit of a hardass. It wasn’t easy to make you crumble, so he looked so devilishly proud of himself when you’d submit beneath the weight of him.

His teeth bared in a deliciously appealing smirk. "I’m gonna have to do something with these hands of yours if you’re gonna grab at shit without permission, yeah?"

You nodded a little too eagerly. His voice was heavy and deep with a depraved need to dominate you. To sully your skin with his desire. You weren’t going to stop him.

A cluster of feathers gathered in the air around you. You had nothing to fear, but watching them circle like small predators overhead made your heart pound against your ribs like a drum. They swarmed you and ensnared your wrists. The strength of his quirk easily had you overpowered. Your hands slammed into the headboard, pinned down by his feathers which trembled with excitement. You were now at his mercy.

“You’ll get your hands back when you’ve earned them,” he informed you through gritted teeth, but you were so mesmerized by the features of his face you hardly heard his words. Beautiful, that's what he was. You'd never told him how his appearance left you breathless. It could scare him away if you said such sweet things too often, but you’d held your heart back for so long it only felt fair to let it beat this once. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” you whispered.

He trembled. His eyes widened in startled confusion, and then his cheeks dusted the faintest shade of red. God, that only made your heart thump harder. His did, too; you could feel it rattle through his chest and against your stomach.

"What was that?"

You bit your lip, embarrassed, but echoed the statement a bit more sheepishly. "I said… you're gorgeous."

Your mattress groaned as he folded back onto his knees. The flaming red limbs on his back lowered until they rested against your sheets. Something about that sweet little compliment tore into him like nothing you had ever said before. That desire that flickered behind his eyes blazed out of control. His kisses landed on your knees before he placed a gentle caress of his lips on the innermost part of your thigh. So close to your pussy that the heat of his breath made you slick.

His other glove was abandoned somewhere on the floor, which rendered both his hands bare. A low groan spilled from him as he pressed his thumbs into either side of your heat. His jaw went slack and his breath erratic as he spread you open.

"So are you," he said, but it was muttered so softly you almost didn't hear.

His head dipped down. The tendrils that framed his forehead fell over your midriff as his tongue caressed your twitching flesh. The hot, wet muscle lapped hungrily between your folds. It flicked at your clit, and your legs trembled on either side of his head. His mouth working you open like that was enough to fog your mind entirely.

“You like that?” he cooed between the slurps of his mouth against you. "Oh, I bet you fucking do."

You replied with only a strangled whimper as you tugged uselessly at the feathers that bound you. You were desperate to comb your fingers through his downy hair, to fist it in your hands and press his face hard into you. A low chuckle flowed from his open mouth and tickled your flinching flesh. Another cry tore from your throat.

“My poor baby, so desperate,” he sighed after placing a kiss against your clit.

His poor baby. He hummed that phrase with such possessive intensity. He was right. Even if it was unspoken, you and your body belonged to him and him alone.

The warmth of his palms traveled back up your stomach and squeezed your breasts roughly. “Forcing you to wait so long for me, did I neglect my sweet little Chickpea? Hmm, I better make up for it, huh?"

God, the way his husky voice reverberated against your flesh was the most delicious form of torture. You bit your lip and nodded, and he rewarded you with a finger. It slid carefully into you, and his hand caressed your insides. You cried a loud, indecipherable string of mangled words. All grasp on language left you as he curled his fingers up and flicked his wrist.

“Aw, what are you trying to say, Sweetheart?” he huffed. All the little nicknames only pushed you further into your need for him. “You wanna feel my fat cock push into that pretty little pussy?”

A sharp inhale burned your throat.

“P-please!” you choked. Your voice was cracked and pitiful when it finally tore from you, and a wonderfully wonton sound fell from him.

“Please what, huh? Please what?” he gasped.

“Fuck me! I want it- I want your cock- PLEASE.”

“Ohhhhh, that sounds so pretty comin’ outta your mouth,” came his long, low growl. As a reward for your begging, he dragged the wetness of his tongue along the length of your little pink slit.

The rough material of his jeans slid down your inner thighs as he mounted you. The shaft of his hot, bare cock pressed flush against your sex. Clusters of his feathers bunched behind the bends in your knees and forced them back, which splayed you helplessly open. You watched as he bit into his lip and rubbed himself against your wetness. You couldn't look away as the most intimate part of his body sheathed itself in yours. 

The most delicious pressure overwhelmed your aching senses. Fuck. FUCK.  He moved slowly. It may have been meant as mercy, but to your sex-starved body, it felt torturous. The ridges of his dick caught at your swollen walls before the tip of it pressed agonizingly slow into the bottom of you. 

“Hawks! Oh my god, I can’t fucking take this!” your throat jerked and trembled just like your aching thighs. Your hips pumped in desperation for friction where your bodies connected. “Give it to me, give it- I swear to god- FUCK!”

Once you gave him control of your body, he lost control of his own. The mattress groaned when he slammed into you. His teeth dug into your throat, laying his claim on you as he panted for breath. His loose belt buckle beat at your outer thighs, and your bed frame groaned in protest with each merciless thrust. His hands dug into your flesh and locked you into his jarring pumps. He pinned you down as if he expected you to play the fighting game, but you didn't resist his cock this time. You didn't want a battle. You wanted your lover. Your moaning whimpers broke and cracked as his jerking hips rocked the wind from you.

He pounded into you too fast for your mind to keep up. Your scarred body buckled and stung under his animalistic need, but the shockwaves of pleasure that rolled through your core kept you begging him for more. More. More. 

His mind was so fogged that he lost his focus on his feathers. The clusters binding you down came loose without his influence, and you easily pulled out of them to throw your arms around his neck. His wings spread out and bristled until they were pressed against the walls, puffed and massive. His forehead was against yours. His hot breath puffed in your face, and his beautiful body was pleasured with yours. 

"Fuck, fuck! Please- Let me come inside you," he pleaded. His eyes were hazy and fogged, his mouth was slack and face a deep red. His body’s cooing song was so loud you could feel it in your own chest. The familiar smell of his cologne intermingled with the musk of sex and blurred your mind. You wanted every piece of him he'd give you.

"Y-yes, please, please," you begged between the hard smacks of his skin against yours. 

Your eyes shot open as his pace quickened. His wings… they were falling apart. Those beautiful eyes of his lulled further into the back of his head with each bone shivering slap of flesh. His teeth bared and his lips twitched as he pressed your bodies roughly together. Shivers rolled through his muscles, and those fierce wings of his were reduced to twitching little nubs on his back as he came.

You ran your hands between his shoulder blades as you marveled at his feathers. They littered the air as they weaved feverishly around one another. The gentle touch of your hands brought Hawks down from his high, and his feathers slowed until they lazily spun like autumn leaves. You pulled him down into a tight embrace and buried your face into his hair. He heaved into your chest, and you watched all the little pieces of him flutter around your room in the light of the moon.

He often lost control of his wings when you made love. They'd fluff up and flap wildly when he came, which often knocked shelves from your walls and your lamp from your bedside table. That was the first time he shed his feathers, and you were in awe.

"Are you okay?" he asked. His voice was gravely and shuttered between labored breaths.

“Yeah, I’m just... admiring," you said as you stared over his shoulder. He glanced behind him, and his cheeks tinted the faintest shade of pink when he realized the pitiful state of his wings. The little red feathers spread all around your room stilled in the air and swarmed to his back, returning his iconic limbs to their full glory.

“Er, you managed to pluck me. How embarrassing,” he quipped. You were so sore and exhausted from his sex all you could manage was a little laugh. You were a gasping mess, though, when he finally pulled out of you. The loss of pressure was a relief, but it also left you feeling empty. You laid quiet and trembling as he leaned back to marvel over the mess he made of you. His thumbs spread you open again, and he let out a breathless moan as you felt his come leak from you. His head dipped between your thighs. That beautiful tongue of his flicked out and lapped at the mess on your pussy. The warm wriggling of the muscle shocked your swollen clit and made you cry out, but you couldn't bear to ask him to stop. It satisfied something in you to watch as he licked you clean of your slick and his own come.

When he was content that he'd cleaned you thoroughly, he laid his body carefully beside you in your bed. His fingers tangled in your hair as he locked you into a kiss. You could taste the sex he licked from you on his tongue. 

The sex was always feverish and ravishing, but the afterglow was your addiction. In the beginning, it was rare. To kiss and caress crossed the line into his discomfort, but the more he learned to trust you the more of his affection you earned. The man who feared human touch began to ask for hugs every visit. Kisses became frequent and pleasant the more he let you do it. Then came sex that felt less like vicious wars and more like making love. Yes, after everything you did to earn his intimacy, nothing felt as lovely as lying naked beneath his plush plumage. 

His feathers caressed every inch of your aching body. His warm mouth, still wet from the sex, pressed gentle kisses onto your face. Your head rested against his arm as your breath slowly steadied. His wing flexed and rested on your shoulder as if tucking you in beneath a plush comforter.

“Mm. You like that?” he pondered breathlessly. His fingers trailed up your scarred side until they combed through your hair. There was a ginger softness to the touch that made your heart quiver. He smiled at you, those yellow eyes pierced through the dim light and into your soul. as you reached your hand out to run your fingers under his jaw. 

“Do you need to ask?” you hummed. Your cheeks were still red and your chest quaked as you slowly came down from the high. 

He laughed. What a lovely, airy sound. You hummed in the glory of the moment. And, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, you could breathe again. Typically, he’d spend his days off kicked back on your living room couch with a tall bottle of something hard in his hand. You’d go a week or so without seeing him when things got tense in the hero world, of course, but in the last two months, you’d had him for only a handful of nights. It was concerning, but you knew better than to ask. No matter how close the two of you had become he would never talk to you about work.

“It's been a while since you last flew in,” you noted as you got comfortable beneath his plumage. His body beside yours was the definition of comfort. Your mind could only be at peace when he was safe in your bed. “It’s nice to see you again, I was worried.”

“I know, it’s been too long. No need to worry, though, Chickpea, I’m right here,” he replied. His slow exhale tangled in your hair, and his hand's gentle touch found your cheek. He offered no explanation for his lengthy absences, but he and his crimson wing caressed you with apologies. 

You relaxed to the sound of his steady breath through the dim blue light of your bedroom. The wing he draped over you was so plush and warm you could easily fall asleep. You might have, if not for the fear of waking up without him. You scooted closer to wind your arms around his chest and bury your face in his neck. 

"I really wish you could stay," you whispered. 

To let your love get in his way was the last thing you wanted, but it was the utterance of a moment of weakness. It was uncharacteristic of you, the pathetic way it sounded, and you felt him stiffen under your arm as he soaked in your request. While there was never a confession of love, you'd tamed the wild bird with years of patience and earnest affection. He was loyal to you. It was cruel of you to ask for something you knew he couldn't give.

“Ah… I would if I could help it, you know that,” he sighed into your forehead, “but I can try to stay until morning.”

“Please. I’d like that.” It came out like the voice of a frightened child, but it was difficult to hide your need for him anymore. 

If you dwelled any further on the possibility of him vanishing, your emotions were going to get the better of you. You played with the feathers draped over your shoulder to calm yourself. A small one by your face was pinched between your fingers as you rolled the barbs around.

"Your wings are filthy," you mused. Dirt particles littered the poor things. You were sure, with some rooting, you'd find a few bugs he’d picked up in the air, too. "Actually, all of you is filthy. You got dirt all in my sheets, bird brain."

"Oh. Shit, my bad," he murmured as he sat upright. You shivered when the warmth of his wing left you.

"Hm, it's fine. Throw your clothes in the wash and I'll get a shower ready for you, sound good?"

“Sounds good.”

The bed creaked in relief when he stood. His frame was slender and small, but his wings at least doubled the weight of him. That was evident with how smothering being beneath him could feel. He kicked off his pants, though his body was still covered by the black and gold bodysuit he wore beneath them. It warmed your heart to see him carry his uniform out of your room and hear him tinker with the washer on the other side of the wall. The sound of the cloth being tossed inside followed by the creak of an opening cabinet seeped through the drywall, followed by the pop of the detergent lid coming off.

He was intimately familiar with your tiny abode. You’d made sure things stayed in the same place so he'd know where everything was the next time he'd visit. You'd been especially anal about it since he'd often be gone for such long periods at a time. When he returned, you wanted your home to feel like it belonged to him, too.

A sensation overcame you as you laid alone in your bed. The sheets were warm from the love you’d just made. Despite his tongue cleaning you off, you could still feel the faint warmth of him inside of you. His contented sigh found you through the wall and your heart burst.

To the rest of the world, he was a hero, but he was so much more to you. You'd give anything to have him completely. For his voice to echo, groggy and sheepish, against your walls every morning. To get to kiss him goodbye before the sun rose, and to welcome him home every afternoon with a warm embrace. For a ring on your finger; a crib in the bedroom. That wasn’t the kind of life that was meant for him, though. As long as he was afraid of you being hurt, those secret nights were all you’d ever have. It made sense. He had enemies, and you could only imagine how your quiet life would turn upside down if you ended up in the pages of a tabloid.

You only spent time together in the privacy of your apartment. Even after two years of being close to him, there was so little you knew about his life separate from you. What little you did know only made you frustrated on his behalf. You held out hope that it could eventually change, for your sake and his.

Preening Hawks was your favorite thing to do with him. There was something special about being across from one another in the shower, naked, warm water rushing over your bodies as your fingers smoothed and placed his dampened feathers. It took the first year of your friendship for him to allow you to touch them at all, so it was an obvious display of his trust in you. Which was understandable. His wings were an integral part of his identity. You watched as he ran his hands over his face and into his hair. His expression was in a relaxed state of bliss as your fingers picked through his plumage.

With his massive wings on either side of you like plush, padded walls, it felt like nothing in the world could get you. His laughter echoed around the small room as he told jokes and stories. It was okay if you didn't have anything to say, or if you just wanted to listen. He would talk for you when you fell short, and that's usually what got you laughing. 

Through the gentle moment, though, you couldn't help but let your emotions get the better of you. During times like those, when his visits were few and far between, your mind danced around the question of why. The possibilities bounced between him either being in danger or losing interest in you. Both were scary thoughts since he had become such an integral part of your life.

"Would you mind if I ask something?" you pondered, which accidentally interrupted a story he'd been telling about an intern of his.

"Depends what it is.”

"Well… there are a million girls out there who'd gladly do this with you," you mused, and it was true, even if it stung a little to remember. "Did you decide to do this with me because it was convenient?" 

That had been your reason, initially. Hawks spent a lot of time hanging around your apartment and he just happened to be wildly attractive. There were no feelings when he’d first asked if he could fuck you. That didn't come until later.

He laughed, and you glared at him.

“Self-doubt, huh? That isn’t like you. Me being away a lot’s really shaken you up, huh?” 

"It's not self-doubt, I'm just genuinely curious," you quipped as you pulled a feather from his wing. They'd moult if they hung around too long, so pulling out the loose ones was a help to him.

"Well… what we have going on is far from convenient," he said. "If that's what I was going for, I'd go after a pro that could keep a secret. It ain't easy to sneak away like this, you know."

So even a pro hero would have to be a secret for him? Did Hawks have any chance at all for a normal life?

“I wanted you, and if I want something, I go for it.”

You swallowed down a breath you’d been holding, but you didn’t say anything else as you watched his eyes dance around the bathroom in thought. 

"And I wanted you because… well, there were a lot of reasons. The night we met was a big one, I guess.”

You looked away. That night felt taboo to mention, considering all the guilt you knew he harbored. Your scars weren’t his fault. Several villains were on a rampage, and your hospital was in the destructive path. You were just another civilian, caught in the crossfire. His feathers tried, but they couldn’t get you out of the building. You’d been partially crushed beneath the rubble. 

“I was sure it was the end of the road for me. It would have been if you and your quirk hadn’t been trapped inside with me. You have a forcefield. You could have used it to protect yourself, but you bubbled me instead. You were gonna die. I was so sure you were gonna die and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.”

Still, your lips wouldn’t move. You’d spent ten months in an ICU after you were crushed beneath the weight of two stories of concrete. If not for the healing quirks of EMTs, you wouldn’t have survived at all. If not for your sacrifice, Hawks wouldn’t have, either. Still, it wasn’t his fault.

 “Still hurts to know I couldn’t help you when you needed me most, but when I looked in your eyes, there wasn't a hint of fear. All I saw was determination. I never met someone who was so sure of their choices, even in the face of death," he recalled. Your emotions skirted between sadness and flattery as you heard his thoughts. If only you could live up to that selfless picture of you, now. “I know a lot of pros who could only hope to have that kind of resolve.”

“Damn, when you tell it you make me sound like a badass,” you quipped, and your laughter bounced around the shower stall.

“I mean, what are the requirements to be donned with the title of badass? I’m sure you’re overqualified. Either that or you’re fucking crazy, which is also a possibility.”

You snorted.

“I'm not crazy. My job is to help people after they've been hurt. If I bubbled you instead, I’d be saving every person you’d live to protect. Before they would need a nurse like me. It’s just what made sense.”

He was silent for a moment as he absorbed your reasoning. You tended to be rational, even in the most emotional of situations. But that borderline-robotic way of thinking was a by-product of your own miseries.

You were a nurse in a world overcome by demigods and treachery. Some of the things you'd seen in the OR would haunt you for the rest of your life. And, sometimes, those ghosts came to torment you in your dreams. That made it hard the first time Hawks slept in your bed. You would sometimes wake with tears in your eyes as your voice quivered out sobs. Your past lovers didn't understand that part of you. The broken part. The part that had been poisoned by the darker side of this superpowered world. 

That's what fostered your love for Hawks. When he had awoken early that morning to you crying beside him, he’d only reacted with a patient embrace. He adored the bright parts of you, but he also had a solemn understanding and respect for your darkness. Having that connection through your mutual suffering was a kind of bond you’d never had before him. And now that you had it, you couldn't imagine life without. 

You went back to preening. You pressed up on your knees to reach a bit higher on his wing, and he watched intently. His voice died into silence as his gaze swept over your naked form, which dripped from the steam of the shower. It wasn't a surprise. Often, he would get lost in himself as he observed you, like a curious bird. It felt like a wordless compliment, so you silently allowed his eyes to explore you. Not that his hands and mouth and cock hadn't already drawn a map of you in his mind.

"Whatcha thinking about?" you teased playfully, and he hummed in response.

"How you look at my wings… I like it."

"Everybody looks at your wings," you said dismissively. A half-smile graced your face.

"You’re right. They do. People admire me because of what they’re capable of. It's what people think of first when they think of me, and rightfully so. They're hard to ignore. But when you look at me, you look at my face first, my wings second. It's like you admire them because they're a part of me, not because of what they can do. I appreciate that." 

Your fingers in said feathers slowed to a stop as he spoke. You smiled a little to yourself as you brushed them against a feather. He shivered. "Your quirk is a part of who you are. That's why I like cleaning them for you. It feels like I get to give you something special, but wings or not, I'd still want you."

Falling in love with Hawks was the best and worst thing you’d ever experienced. The pleasure of those beautiful moments seeped into your soul like a warm cup of tea. But the anguish that followed after he flew out your window… there wasn't a simile that could correctly describe the immeasurable pain. 

Your response must have triggered a long series of difficult thoughts for the bird. His head tilted slightly, his eyes hardened in expression and his brows furrowed as he soaked in your confession.

"In the year we've been doing this… has there ever been another man?" he pondered. The question jarred you. Occasionally, he'd get a touch possessive of his time with you. He’d asked a time or two who you were texting. You knew him well enough to pick up the hint of jealousy despite his light tone, but he never asked anything so outright.

“Well, look who's got self-doubt now. You sure are eager for a lot of questions and confessions tonight. What’s gotten into you?” you asked.

He shrugged. “You asked a question, so it's my turn now. Besides, we’ve been close for a couple of years. We've been intimate for half of that. just seems a little silly to keep up the fuck buddies act. Or is it just me?”

Fuck buddies act? You bit your lip. Hard. When he was with you he was so relaxed. This seriousness was unusual, and it made your wet skin rough with goosebumps.

"It's not just you," you confessed. 

For a short while, the bathroom was filled with only the sound of the running shower as you collected your confession. 

"There hasn't been another man since you. I mean… I've gone on dates a few times, but it never got that far," you replied. The moment another man kissed you… Well, kisses felt dirty if they were with anyone other than Hawks. "I know this thing you and I have going on was meant to be a no strings attached kind of affair, but… Well, if I’m being honest with you, it feels wrong trying to sleep with anyone but you. I like what we have, and I've always got the impression that you really do, too."

He didn't say anything. You weren't sure whether or not that was what he wanted to hear.

"Have you?" you asked. "Been with anyone else?"

You’d never asked before. At first, it was because it didn't feel like your business. Then, when the thought eventually made your heart ache, you didn't ask because you didn't want to know. But now that you had come clean, it only felt fair that he did, too.

Air left his nose and his head bobbed back until his wet hair pressed against the shower stall.

"Once,” he confessed, and he sounded ashamed now that he knew you never did. “I used to have this on again, off again thing, before I knew you. I messed with her a few weeks after you and I first… well, you know. But only once, then never again.”

You’d thought it would crush you to learn he’d been with someone else, but it didn’t sting like you thought it would. Probably because you didn't know specifics. If you knew what woman had her hands on him, if you could see it, it probably would destroy you. But the apologetic way he said it put your heart at ease. He mumbled like he knew it would hurt you, and he didn’t want it to. But you weren’t wounded, and your feelings weren’t perturbed. He never promised you anything, just as you’d never made promises to him.

“Why’d you stop seeing her?” you asked as you scooted closer to smooth shampoo suds down in his hair. He only shrugged at first, then sighed in contemplation when your fingers combed along his scalp.

“I’ve never had a place I could go to, you know?” he said. “I’ve never had somewhere like this, where I can lay my head for a little while and just be…”

“Pampered?” you suggested as your hands moved to massage his shoulder blades between his wings.

He breathed out a little laugh, but shook his head. “Yeah, but that’s not what I was thinkin’.”

“Out with it then,” you teased.

“Well… I’ve never had somewhere I’ve felt safe and... cared about?” he said, though his eyes were distant and lost when he said it, as if he wasn’t sure he should have.

“I gotta always be looking over my shoulder. Gotta always have a mask on and hope no one ever sees through it. But here, everything’s relaxed. You couldn’t care less what my ranking on some chart is or how much money is in my pocket. You don't give a shit about heroing or the tabloids. You’re the only person in my life who asks for nothing other than my company. I feel human here. I didn’t want to jeopardize that, or what I had with you. That’s why I stopped seeing her.”

Your mouth went dry. While your nights were long and passionate, you’d never whispered sweet nothings. You’d never told him how much he and his company meant to you because you felt he wouldn’t want to hear it, but he kept coming back. For a year he had clung wordlessly to what little affection you gave him. If he’d told you this a year prior, you would have given him so much more love.

“So you do have deeper feelings for me. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He was silent, as you’d expected him to be. He both craved and feared the closeness he’d formed with you. At times he’d drown you in sweet little bits of affection, but, when things got too deep, he would shut down. Through the last couple of years, you’d broken through a lot of his walls, but the cold influence of the commission would always be with him. Even if he was in love with you, he’d never understand how to tell you.

"Because of who I am when I fly out your window,” he began. The reverb of his voice against the shower stall took you off guard. You didn’t expect him to answer. "There are things I know you want from me… things that I can’t give you right now, and you deserve more than that. That’s why I never planned on telling you… Fuck. It was never supposed to be like this…”

He spoke more to himself than he did to you at that moment. There was an internal battle going on in his mind; one you'd never really be able to understand, but you wanted to try. 

"You mean you never meant to get attached?"

His silence was telling.

"It's okay," you said. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." You took a hold of his hand, but he flinched away from you. He was regressing back into old habits. It had been months since he’d last recoiled to your affection. Something was terribly wrong. The recoil was fine. It was okay. Whatever he needed to feel comfortable. "I'm sorry-" 

"No, I'm sorry," he interrupted. He rubbed the wrist you had touched as if you'd burned him. His brow was knit and his mouth became a harsh line. "Sometimes it feels easy and other times it doesn't, but I'm trying."

"I know you are. Like I said, we don't have to talk about feelings." 

He stared at you, and the longer his gaze rested on your face, the softer it became, "I want to try." 

You nodded and wrapped your arms around your naked knees. The shower had been turned off long ago by a cluster of his feathers, but the soothing steam still lingered around you. 

“It's just… this is difficult. One day someone may shoot me out of the sky. The thought of you still being right here, waiting for me, when I can never come back… It... kills me." He paused, his eyes hazed over as he swallowed his emotion down. The rawness in his voice struck such an unpleasant chord that your own eyes pricked with bitter water. "That's why I didn’t want attachments like this. But I didn't mean for all this between you and me. You snuck into me slowly, I didn't even notice until it was too late."

"Is this supposed to be flattering? It sounds like you're likening me to a parasite or something- heartworm," you quipped in an effort to dispel the heavy tension. He smiled, but only for a moment before he rolled his eyes at you. 

"Just… listen to me," he said, and your eyes trained on his as your mouth closed. "If that ever happens… If there comes a day you've been waiting for me, only to find out I'm never coming back, please know that I cared for you."

He didn't use the word love, but that's very much what he was trying to convey. In a way, you’d kind of always knew. It was why he’d said it, how he’d said it, that made your eyes prick with tears at their corners. The thought of what he was implying petrified you. Hawks was so skilled, so powerful, so almighty. Despite all his power, though, he was human, just like you. The night you’d met proved how possible death was for him. Nothing could keep him safe forever, not even your forcefields.

But he’d never talked like this before. He was always so light-hearted and relaxed. His work and the dangers associated with it was off the menu of conversion topics. What had happened to bring all this darkness up now?

"You talk like you’re preparing for death." 

Again, he didn’t reply. His silence was more terrifying than anything he could have said, but trying to pry him open would only break him, it seemed. So you didn’t.

“May I kiss you?” you asked instead. 

He nodded.

You leaned forward and breathed into his ear. He shivered when you placed a gentle kiss on the shell of it. His earring pressed against your lip was a gentle and familiar feeling, but after you heard all he had to say it also felt fleeting. He always had some ulterior motive or hidden reason for every little thing he did. It's as if he said all this because tomorrow would be the day he was gone.

“I’m not preparing to die.” Your kiss gave him the courage to speak. "I have too much to live for. It’s just always a possibility- for anybody, really. But heroes especially. I just wanted it off my chest is all."

He smiled at you, but you’d seen every smile in his repertoire, and this one was faker than your stick-on-backsplash. The air never felt so tense between you. Not even the night you met, dying feet away from each other. It all felt so… heavy. The weight of it pressed hard into your chest.

“Er, this reminds me, while we're on topic, I got some things going on at the agency. I hate to say it, but you won't see me again for a little while. I don’t know how long. It could be a couple of months.” His disposition remained fake casual. His shoulders and face were relaxed as he enjoyed the steam of the shower, but his wings tensed. You felt it in your palms as you preened him.

"You're in trouble," you said. Your mouth went dry as the realization drained the color from your face. 

"Trouble? Me? Nah. Just work stuff."

He spoke with a relaxed air about him, but he couldn’t lie to you. 

"No. You've been acting off all night. You’ve been making all these confessions. Talking about death, telling me you're going away for a while. I know you better than you think I do; something big happened and you're trying to tie up loose ends in case you don't get out of it okay," you rambled, and the more you talked the higher your voice became. It trembled and wavered with building fear. 

He stared at you. That silly face of his melted into a thin line and sharp, angular eyes. Those tricks worked when no one was close enough to see through them, but you knew his genuine smile like the back of your hand. You saw right through his facade, and he was annoyed by the very determination he just prided you for. 

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" 

You didn't whimper, but your eyes became glossy with emotion. It was a strange mixture of panic, sorrow, and rage. You had no idea what he'd gotten into, but you also knew he would never tell. He placed preserving missions above all else, which made sense but was frustrating.

"I don't know what's going on, but you need to get out of it if you're thinking it's something you may not come back from." 

"Things aren't that simple. I chose this life, I gotta follow through."

"No, I chose to be a nurse when I was sixteen and understood the implications of what I'd have to go through. You were fucking six when the commission took you, and they spent all that time gaslighting and taking advantage of you-"

"We aren’t talking about that right now, don't use it against me.” 

"Use it- what? I'm not using anything against you! You’re the one alluding to death! There’s nothing wrong at the agency, there’s something else- something terrible-" 

"Drop it.”

“How can I?!”

"Because I said so." His eyes were narrow and mouth a tight, thin line. You could read him so well. He was regretting this. All of this, because now you were onto whatever suicide mission he was embarking on. But, as his lover, how could you just sit back and silently watch him throw himself into a danger that had even him shaken?

You got louder, and he got louder. You tossed bitter, confused words back and forth until he was screaming. Until you were screaming back at him. Your calm, laid back demeanor slipped through your fingers the moment you realized he could be in over his head. That, if you let him leave, this could be the last night you’d ever spend with him. Your anger was driven by your fear for his life, and his was driven by your inability to let it go. 

He was still screaming. You were still screaming. You were fighting him. He just told you you were the most important person in his life, and you were spitting venom. 

You stopped.

He stopped.

Your hand came to your bare chest as it heaved in an attempt to steady your breath. The other came up to wipe the tears budding in your eyes. He looked away from you, his brow tugged heavily downward, his jaw clenched together in shame.

"Let’s just breathe, okay?" you pleaded.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," you whimpered into your hand. "Out of everyone in the world, you're the last who needs to say sorry, so don't. It's just- it's not right, okay? You're too… I don't know, selfless? I watch all the time as that gets taken advantage of. Doesn’t it get tiring? Even your name is some dirty secret. I've been sleeping with you for a year and I don't even know what it is-"

"Yes, you do," he argued, his lip wavered with weakness for one vulnerable moment. "You know me- you know my name."

Desperation laced between his words and strung the sentence together. It wasn't easy to see your lover look at you that way, just begging for you to let pieces of him go. It was hard to accept it, but whatever name he went by prior to heroism didn't exist anymore. Neither did the once innocent child it belonged to. You tried to respect that, but it was unfair he was denied a basic human right: to have a name. 

"You're Hawks, I know, I'm sorry… it's just… how much is left of yourself that actually belongs to you? How long until there’s nothing left to give? People have taken so much from you that you’ve become numb to it; do you even know what you're missing out on? Do you even know how lonely you are? When’s the last time anybody even asked if you were okay?"

He realized, then, that you weren't angry at him.

You were angry for him.

His eyes shifted to yours, and he nibbled at his bottom lip before he muttered with the quirk of his mouth: “Well, you ask me that pretty much every time you see me.”

There it was. The crack in your voice. The crinkle of your nose and the tremble of your lip. You cried, and he sat there across from you, still bare as his wings lowered to either side of you. His expression didn't change, and, for once, you couldn't read it. You didn't want to be so upset, but knowing he was in some kind of dangerous trouble that shook even him was too much for you to bear.

"I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. It’s just… Do you have any idea how many heroes I've wheeled into the morgue? People die on my table all of the time. Every time is just as hard as the last, but the heroes- those are the ones that destroy me. Because every time someone in a cape lands on the table I know their families are waiting for them at home, just like I wait here for you.

"I saved you once, but you're so far away from me, too far for my forcefields to reach you. Hearing you say you’re going away- all I can think of is coming into work one day and finding you c-... covered in a sheet."

His wings moved up from the shower floor. The feathers were dark with dampness as their joints pressed into your back. You sat there like that as he let you cry. Really, what else could he have done? What else could you have done? Of course you were angry. You would be for the rest of your life over how his panned out. His childhood was taken from him, his understanding of human affection was still stunted, even after all the time you spent gently undoing what damage had been done. Now he talked like one wrong move would end it all.

"It's… difficult," he began, though he couldn't make eye contact with you. He usually couldn't when you had discussions like this. "Being a hero isn’t what I imagined I would be when I was a kid. And sometimes I do ask myself: 'what is this all for? There's always going to be a new bad guy. Why does it matter?' And then I think about you…" 

He went silent for a moment; you could see the little battle behind his eyes. The battle between his affection deprived confusion and his need to be closer to you. To explain himself. 

"I think about you and it reminds me there are good people who are worth fighting for. As long as you are here and there are bad people out there that could hurt you, I have to be out there, too. And, yeah, sometimes I get afraid. But as long as I have these wings, I'm going to use them to keep this world safe for you."

He’d never felt so close to you, and yet so far away. He thought even more of you than you anticipated. A part of you felt touched you'd become a cornerstone for his sanity in such a hostile world, but the other part felt sick. If he wanted to fight for you, that was fine.

But to die for you; that would be unforgivable.

The urge to argue the worth of his life weighed heavy on your heart. If you did, he would call you hypocritical, considering your own history of self-sacrifice. It wasn’t the same, though. His self-worth depended on his usefulness to others and little else, and you feared the day that usefulness ran out. What would Hawks be, if not a hero? It should have such a simple answer, like what you would be if not a nurse. But it didn't. It never would.

You leaned forward to pull him into a tight hug. Perhaps when he was anywhere else you were unable to protect him, but right there, in your arms, you'd use whatever you could to keep him safe. Your bubbles, your kind words, anything. 

"I understand," you said, because you knew there were no words that could keep him away from the hero path. It wasn't just a part of his identity; it was all he'd ever known. "Just… don't forget when the heroing is said and done, you'll always have a place here if you need it."

He hummed a small, contented coo at your kindness. Of course, you didn't have to tell him that. He already knew. Why else would he spend so much of his precious little free time cuddled up to you? 

"I'll remember," he promised as his arms and damp wings curled in to squeeze you against him. 

You and Hawks bathed in the comforting darkness of your bedroom. Your window was frosted from the bitter cold outside, but his body heat kept you warm in the safety of your bed. Or nest, rather, as Hawks tended to construct mounds of tangled comforters and wadded up bedsheets to hide in as he got comfortable. You were buried beneath the mass of cloth and the cocoon of his wings as you tried to fall asleep. It was a difficult undertaking since you didn’t know when you’d see him again. You were so tired, but you wanted to be awake to hold him for what little time you had left. 

You wouldn’t have gotten any sleep, anyway.

Often when Hawks slept in your bed you'd awaken at strange hours. Sometimes this was due to your own nightmares. The subject bounced between the traumatic things you’d seen at the hospital and the night you’d met. You'd wake to find that you’d encased your bed in your protective bubble during your sleep, and Hawks' wings squeezed you gently against his chest. Other nights, it was Hawks' anxiety that would keep you awake.

During the day, his guard was discreetly up. He carried carefree conversations as if unbothered, but those well-trained feathers of his were on constant guard. Really, he never had a moment to breathe. This was something you never would have understood the depths of if you weren't woken by his anxiety in the midst of the night. The anxiety he kept bottled during the day often let itself out in the form of night terrors. He'd mumble. Roll. His wings would twitch over you. His face would morph into an agonized expression, and he chirped in distress. A good, gentle shake was usually all it took to pull him out of the bad dream. 

That night his nerves reared their head, though in an unorthodox way. Apparently, you did fall asleep, because you awoke with a small grumble when you felt the mattress groan, followed by a heavy weight draping over your body. You let out a long whine of displeasure, but the weight just got heavier. You turned your head and opened your eyes to find Hawks, but he wasn't gasping in his sleep. He laid over you, wings puffed but flat on either side of your bed as he stared at the bedroom door.

"Hawks? You're squishing me." 

He didn't answer or turn to look at you. Those sharp eyes of his danced around in panic, his feathers raised as they sensed every small movement in your apartment. You dropped your head back onto your pillow with a sigh. 

"What's the matter?" you pondered.

"Shh," he hummed. "I felt something…"

You laid and listened for a short while, but all you could hear was the lady in the apartment above you walking across her floor.

"It's my neighbor."

"What if it's not?" 

Whether the display was the primal instruction from the bird in him to protect his mate or if it was a by-product of the harsh reality of the life he lived, you weren't sure. Either way, his calm and almost lazy facade cracked. When the world was quiet and his feathers could sense every mundane movement in your apartment, his anxiety that those small bumps in the night might be something that could hurt you overwhelmed him.

The little display was an annoyance to your sleep-deprived brain, but his first thought in the midst of his worry was to protect you. That spared him from your groggy wrath. 

"Lay down, McNugget. There's no one there," you grumbled, but he didn't turn his head away from the door. 

Feeling your hand on his face seemed to snap him back into the moment, even if just a little. He leaned into you and encased you in his wings. It felt like a protective gesture, but the warmth you found beneath them made you hum pleasantly. The fluffy white cloth of his hoodie rubbed your cheeks as he cuddled into you. Well, actually, it was your hoodie. 

At one time it was just some old thing you'd snagged from a thrift store on a chilly day. It was much too large for you, though. When Hawks came into your life later on, you'd cut holes out of the back and hemmed it up. That way he'd have a little something to throw on when it got chilly at your place. He never said it out loud, but he loved the thing. He'd go looking for it if you didn't leave it laying out in the living room. 

"I know you usually have a lot to be afraid of, but you don't have to worry about protecting me. I'm a badass, remember?" you whispered into the shell of his ear. His shoulders relaxed just a bit, and he puffed out a little chuckle. 

"Yeah, I know. I just… I want you to be safe. That's all." 

Your gaze softened, though he couldn't see it in the darkness. You didn't need Hawks to protect you. You didn't need a hero. You needed a best friend; a lover. Between the both of you, he was the one in most need of saving.

"Shh," you hummed gently. Your hair lifted from your pillow and danced slowly around your face as if gravity was lost to you. He scrunched his nose as your locks brushed his cheeks, and his wings settled flat as a ring rose from the floor around your bed. The translucent wall came together above your bodies to form a hard, bubble shell.

"You've been the hero long enough. Let me be the protector tonight,” you said. His throat bobbed against your shoulder as his arms wound around you. He settled, but you still felt his unease.

“What’s got your feathers ruffled?”

“You shouldn’t have to protect me,” he said. His voice was muffled since his mouth was pressed into your skin, but you still heard the sadness in it. “I should be taking care of you.”

You blinked as you soaked in his words. For a year you pined for such romantic things to come out of his mouth. Of course he’d wait for a night like that night to say such sickeningly sweet things. The future that used to feel so full of mystery and excitement had become dangerous, uncertain, and disappointing.

“You don’t have to be the hero every time,” you replied.

“But if I’m not a hero, what am I?”

His question was an echo of your fears. The ambient light from your window filtered dimly into your forcefield, but your eyes couldn’t adjust with tears in them.

“I don't know if I have the answer you're looking for, but... Do you remember when I was in the hospital?" you asked. "When you first came to see me you brought a twenty-piece box of chicken nuggets, and while I was trying to eat one you laughed until you were crying because it looked vaguely like a penis.”

“Vaguely? It had balls and everything,” he recalled, and you rolled your watering eyes.

“Whatever. It was stupid, but it was the first time I laughed since I was trapped in that hospital. And, well… when they said I’d never walk again you helped me out of bed. I cried myself to sleep some nights, but you were there, still trying to save me. You were trying to be a hero then, too, but you became my best friend. If nothing else, that's what you’ll always be to me.”

A sound came out of him akin to laughter. You shot him a look, then hooked your finger under his chin. You wanted to see his dumb grin when you berated him for poking fun at you. When his eyes met yours, though, they weren’t crinkled with laughter. They were red and watering.

“Oh, Hawks,” you breathed, and he tucked his face back into your arm to hide his vulnerability. He never cried before. At least not in front of you. He was always the immovable one, virtuous and strong. Moments like this reminded you just how human he was beneath it all.

“I’m right here. I’ve got you,” you assured him in a whisper. Gentle promises spilled from your lips like lullabies, and he clung to every word with heart-breaking desperation. You whispered every sweet nothing you could think of to ease his pain, but you didn’t have that kind of power. 

You had no power at all.

His world always seemed scary to you. You feared for his life every day, but the thought of him being ripped from your arms overwhelmed you that night more than it ever had before. The protective bubble that encased your bed would keep him safe for as long as you could fight sleep, but what of the morning? You’d be safe at home, and he’d be lost somewhere in the dangerous fray of his duties. Far away from your warmth and the apartment he found so much comfort in. 

This would not be the last time you held him. You had to believe that, but what if it was? What if this sleepless night was your last together? 

Tell him you love him, you thought to yourself. Tell him before you never get the chance again. 

You bit your lip as you felt his trembling breaths on your collar. You prepared your lips for the taste of the confession, but he was so vulnerable, more so than he may have ever been before. He didn’t need you to tell him about your affections, he needed you to use them.

You placed a reassuring crown of kisses along his forehead, and he gripped you so hard his knuckles were surely white. 

When you’d cried as a child, your mother would lay in your bed and sing lullabies until you fell asleep. Your voice was untrained and awkward compared to hers, but you tried your best to use it. Your off-key tune echoed back to you in the dome of your forcefield, and your cheeks pinkened with how childlike it sounded. Your embarrassment interrupted your lullaby. He stirred against your chest.

“Don’t stop,” he said. “Please, sing to me.”

You cleared your throat as you gathered the courage to start again. His eyes fell closed as your song settled into the safety of your shield. His feathers relaxed, and his face went slack as sleep slowly overtook him. You sang until his tears stopped flowing. You sang until he was asleep in your arms. For as long as you could, you laid awake. If you succumbed to sleep, so would your forcefield. So would your promise to keep him protected through the night. As time moved slowly forward, sleep inevitably began to settle into you, too. It was as terrifying and as peaceful as death.

“I love you,” you whimpered as you felt your eyes grow too heavy to fight back open. “Please… stay safe.”

Credits: 

A massive thank you to my wonderful friend and editor, @fuwafuwagem​! If you thought the fic looked especially polished, it’s thanks to her efforts!

Also a big thank you to my buddies and beta readers: @dendriticheep​ and @narcolepticroses​! Thanks you guys for being such sweet friends to me ;u;

And a huge thanks to YOU, for reading !

Authors Note:

I’d love to do a lot more fanfictions like these! If you have any suggestions or requests for animations or animated stories like this one feel free to submit it to me!

[chiruba]

JJK BOYS' ACCIDENTALLY MAKING YOU CRY !

an. this is literal garbage and very long but enjoy LOL

ft. itadori, fushiguro, inumaki x gn!reader

wc. 1.3k

genre. angst to fluff

tw. broken bones, cast and death mentions, also some swearing bc its british culture

♯ MASTERLIST ♯ TAGLIST ♯

ITADORI YUJI — panic activated. there is nothing itadori would do in this world to hurt you, not intentionally at least. itadori had yet again come back from another dangerous mission - yet again another mission that almost took his life. it seemed that the danger levels just kept increasing as itadori continued to grow and improve as a jujutsu sorcerer, and as his significant other watching from the sidelines, the only thing that grew in you was your worry and concern. you thought you could handle it, seeing him come back each time with deep cuts and broken bones - thought you could make a subtle comment on how he should be just a little more careful, and yet, seeing him in this bad of a shape was all too much. itadori nearly pounced out of his skin when your teary eyes met his, all he did was ask you to sign his cast(s)! "yuji," he heard you sob, muffled by the hospital blankets you buried your head in. "please," he heard you whimper, hands clenched so tightly on the blankets he thought you'd rip them in half. "i'm not asking you to stop being a jujutsu sorcerer, i just want you to be careful." you looked up, eyes finally meeting, and itadori immediately reaches out to wipe the tears that spill down your cheeks. "what if you died?" the fear in your voice triggers something in yuji, and he immediately engulfs you in his arms. "no, would never leave you, baby." he says, tone firm. "i'm sorry, i didn't realise how stupid i was being - for not noticing how you felt and how reckless i was." he says, and its scarily serious. you nod, slowly taking in his words. "you promise?" you ask once more, wanting to confirm it. yuji smiles, breath tickling the shell of your ear as he whispers, "i promise."

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI — fushiguro knew he could be a little harsh with his words sometimes, which is why when you first started dating he always kept it to a minimum around you. yet as your relationship went on, megumi found himself more and more comfortable with himself, with you, with your relationship. perhaps… a little too comfortable. he had made another teasing comment - the only thought he gave it was making sure it was formatted correctly before it spewed out of his mouth. he expected to hear you giggle - tease him back, maybe give him a slap on the arm that really felt more like a tap, and yet, nothing. megumi ignored it for a minute or two, thinking perhaps you didn't care much, or were too busy doing something else to even pay attention to it. no biggie! it's not like it hadn't happened before and- oh. megumi thought, his heart dropping and eyes widening when he heard small sniffles come from behind him. oh fuck. he was sure he'd whipped his head around so fast it gave him whiplash, and yet that was the last thing he could care about right now. "you really mean that, fushiguro?" he heard you ask, your back turned to him as your shoulders shook - voice shaky and breathless. fushiguro. he leapt at your use of his last name, pouncing across the room to get by your side. "no, no! never! you know i love you more than anything, i-i didn't think - fuck - i didn't even think about what i was saying, 'm so sorry." he was panicked, his hands fidgeting awkwardly as he debated reaching out to you. luckily, you made the choice for him. megumi only felt like breathing again when your hands wrapped around his waist, head buried into his chest. "'is okay, 'gumi." he sighed, hands wrapping around you as he held you tighter, "just don't say it again, please." he shook his head without pulling away from you, and you felt him plant kisses across your neck in a silent apology. "of course, never again, love."

INUMAKI TOGE — inumaki is a tease. you wouldn't expect it from the quiet, innocent looking cursed speech user. inumaki loved to pull pranks constantly, and you had quickly become used to them in your relationship - even spiraling into your own little 'war'. beginning to see who could get the best pranks to just becoming who could get the most - and inumaki was determined to win. it had come across his tiktok feed. ignoring your s/o for a day to see how they react! he glanced over to see your sleeping figure wrapped around his arm, giggling when he saw your noise scrunch up at the sudden movement. yeah, inumaki was definitely gonna win this war. you were absolutely positively sure that you had never had a worse day than this. you completely forgot to charge your phone during the night, leaving you frantic as you tried to throw on your uniform as fast as you could - only to finally get to school and receive a big fat fail on your last test, but, hey! it couldn't get any worse! unless spilling your lunch and scraping your knee and - god, everything was just going wrong. you wanted nothing more than to be cuddled into inumaki's arms right now, inhaling the comforting smell of vanilla he always managed to subtly be coated in. which is exactly why you were seeking out your platinum haired boyfriend right now. a wave of relief washing over you as he came into view. "toge!" you yelled, a smile covering your features as you ran over to your boyfriend "ugh, you won't believe how-" "kombu!" inumaki exclaimed, running over to fushiguro, completely past you. you paused, awkwardly pulling down your raised hand that was stilled in a wave motion. perhaps he just had something really important to do right now? no big deal at all!... and yet, it was a big deal. it continued on and on, inumaki continuing to ignore your entire existence as you tried over and over to get his attention. he'd even looked directly at you at one point, only to turn away the next second - and it had been the last straw. chest burning and eyes watering, you stormed off to your dorm, throwing yourself onto your bed as you sobbed into your pillows. seeing how you'd progressively gotten more pissed throughout the day - inumaki thought all he was in for was a particularly nasty prank in return when he got back. he knocked on your dorm room once, then twice, and then a third - and yet he got no response. no response other than the muffled sobs he could hear come through the door. he felt panic course through him immediately, pushing open the door hurriedly. "takana?" inumaki practically yelled, bursting into your room as he saw you buried in your pillows, shoulders shaking as you sobbed. inumaki sat down by your side, ready to take you into his arms - before he was shoved off completely, your angered and tear-stained face meeting his eyes. "so now you care? go away, inumaki!" his heart sank as he finally began to realise what he'd done - that the anger on your face throughout the day looked more like sadness. "o-okaka," he stuttered, desperately trying to communicate through his gestures. you only glared in response, shoveling back into your blankets as you turned your back to him. inumaki stayed silent for a few minutes, listening to your cries as they lowered in volume. "please listen to me," he begged finally, and your ears perked up subconsciously. "jerk. don't use your dumb advantage…" he heard you mutter, and he felt his heart lift just a little. "i'm sorry." he said, and although it didn't seem like much - coming from inumaki, it was practically the world. you didn't say anything, but simply shuffled forward to give inumaki room on your bed - something he happily accepted as he immediately tackled you in kisses. inumaki did not in fact win the war.

reblogs appreciated <3 

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