#this one goes out first tonight bc it's FUNNY

[brutalage]

she'd bury his body in a concrete box with no openings and see how long it takes him to get out

my muse is dead . tell me how yours responds to the news / not accepting !

[fcthots]

Thinking about rockstar!jason again.

- he would use your voicemails as samples

- leaves hints about you in his songs

- also samples your laugh

- when you go to his shows, the first thing he does when he gets to the mic is say hi to you and wave at you

- endlessly talks about you in his interviews

- has called you while he’s on stage before bc “I’m on a roll tonight, you need to listen”

- if you don’t attend his shows, he buys you a souvenir for each place he plays

- any time he figures out a new chord progression he likes or lyrics that sounds good, you have to be the first person to hear it

- someone hits on you at a show and he just stares at the guy, dumbfounded bc “if you don’t know who that is, you’re a fake fan, get out. i don’t care if you don’t know the lyrics to my music, fake fans are the people who don’t know who that is.” he found the whole situation funny, but brings you backstage for the rest of the show.

- he winks at you for all suggestive lyrics and smiles

- he would wear a skirt during select shows, i don’t make the rules

- oh and he hangs your underwear on the door handle backstage if you’re fucking so no one goes into his dressing room

[ayyy-pee]

𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝟘.𝟝 - 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕄𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕥𝕠 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕜

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Next Episode

Pairing: JJK Men x Female Reader

Episode Summary: After a drunken night of binge watching your (least?) favorite show, you find yourself making a grave mistake.

STORY TWIST: READERS WILL VOTE AFTER CERTAIN CHAPTERS TO CHOOSE WHO GETS A ROSE AND MAKES IT TO THE NEXT WEEK. KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR THE VOTING LINK AT THE END OF CHAPTERS

Story Warning: DRAMA, lying and scheming, REVERSE HAREM, profanity bc I can only be me, arguments, fights probably, heartbreak and tears, (more to come)

Artist Credit: momoya348, Umbra3terna, ilameys,maoyaoyao519, _0_0219 Divider Credit: Cafekitsune (Tumblr)

A/N: IT'S FINALLY HEREEEEEE! I hope you guys enjoy this ride (that you're in charge of in later chapters!!!) I'll put up Episode 1 tomorrow after proofreading!!! <3

“God, this show is so stupid,” you mutter, shoving a handful of popcorn into your mouth while you get settled onto the couch.

“Please…It’s so bad, but I tune in to every season.”

You glance over when your friend reaches into your lap and dips her fingers into your bowl of popcorn and grabs a few kernels.

That was the perfect way to describe what was happening now. You’re currently huddled up on the couch, having spent the day binging the most recent season of The Bachelor until you’re all caught up. The new episode airs tonight and you’re eager to see who Joey ends up picking. Will it be Rachel? She’s gorgeous, funny, and her family seems to really get along with this season’s Bachelor. They have great chemistry. Or maybe it will be Daisy? Though you couldn’t see that working out. The girl is a total bore. Or it could be…what’s her name again? The one who looks a little bit like she could be his sister. Ah, whatever.

You’re not sure when you really began to even give a shit about this mess of a show. It’s corny. No one falls in love within a few weeks of knowing each other. And why does one man or woman need to date twenty people to find someone to marry? Are they that unlikeable in the real world? Not to mention, it’s totally unrealistic. Do these relationships even work out once the cameras cut off? Unlikely. You find the entire premise of the show downright stupid.

And yet, you can’t tear your eyes away as this season’s Bachelor takes each girl out on an extravagant date that…you can’t lie, you would love to be on.

Dancing in Malta? Sunbathing on a yacht off the coast of Spain? Getting to see Niagara Falls up close? Sign you up. You don’t think you would stand a chance being the object of everyone’s affection, but you could definitely milk being a contestant for free trips and good food.

“Why can’t he see that Rachel is the best pick here? Ugh, annoying. You know he’s going to give what’s-her-name the last rose.” Your friend downs her wine in one swig and you don’t bother to hold back the laugh bubbling in your chest. She’s all red faced. You’re not sure if it’s from how passionate she is about the show or from the two empty bottles of merlot she’s managed to down practically on her own, but the glowing hue it gives her highlights the thick scar across her face. A product of her line of work, and said line of work being the reason she’s guzzling wine in the first place.

“Maybe take it easy on the drinks, Utahime.”

She hiccups next to you, slouching in her seat. “I haven’t even had that much to drink!”

“You’ve had most of the wine just on your own!”

“Oh my god, you have one or nine glasses of wine and suddenly you’re wasted,” she mutters sarcastically. “I’m fine.”

You roll your eyes, because you know there’s no going back and forth with her stubborn ass when she starts drinking. 

The living room dims for about three seconds before it lights back up, the show now having gone on commercial break. The rose ceremony is next and despite shit-talking the show only ten minutes ago, you’re eager for the commercials to wrap up so you can see who goes home. It better not be Rachel. You use this brief intermission to go and get some water for yourself but mostly Utahime so she can sober up.

This has been your routine for the last few weeks. Every Monday night, Utahime comes over, peels you out of your bed and forces you on the couch to chug alcohol and watch this ridiculous show. While you find the entire premise of the show nonsensical, you’re grateful for the time it’s given you with Utahime.

You’re fairly new to the Kyoto area and Utahime was the first person you’d met on your first day at your new – how can you put this? – unique job. You see, you and Utahime both work in the field of Jujutsu sorcery. But there’s about where your similarities in the field stop.

Utahime is an active Sorcerer. She’s an instructor raising up the next generation of Sorcerers, building them up so that they can one day join the frontlines to protect the unaware non-Sorcerers of Japan. She’s strong– a grade 1 Sorcerer. Quite impressive. She could easily knock a curse’s head off if she wanted to.

But you? Well, while Utahime is at the top of the ranks of Jujutsu society, you are what some would refer to as a bottomfeeder – an unranked, unimportant, lowly Window. You’re someone who has just enough cursed energy to see a curse. But can you do anything about them? Not unless you want to end up in the nearest trauma center. So if you’re smart, you’ll do your job and whip your phone out to report it so that the real Sorcerers can handle it.

You’ve been in this field for several years now, but working outside of the major cities of Japan. Transferring to Kyoto was your idea of wanting something new and different. Utahime had quickly taken you under her wing. You were certain it was because she took pity on you. A weak, barely gifted Window. But as time went on, you came to realize that that was just Utahime. She was kind and funny, and had a good heart. Well, except when it came to –

“Hey!” Utahime calls from her spot on the couch. You can hear a slur in her words as she speaks and you know she’s opened yet another bottle of wine from who knows where. “Come here! Look at this!” You peer at the television from the doorway of your kitchen and see Utahime has it paused on a very ugly ad. It’s bright white with a background full of red rose petals across the screen. Your eyes roam over the words.

“THE SEARCH IS ON FOR THE ELIGIBLE WOMEN WHO ARE READY TO FIND TRUE LOVE! DO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE THE CHARM, STYLE, AND PERSONALITY TO BE OUR NEXT STAR? IF SO, APPLY OR NOMINATE SOMEONE NOW!”

“Will you hurry up? Come look!” Utahime demands, messily pouring more wine into her glass. But it looks like a normal advertisement to you, so you’re not entirely sure what has Utahime’s interest so piqued.

She beckons you again, yelling “Come here!” So you quickly grab a couple bottles of water from your fridge and head back. Utahime is pointing insistently at the screen. “Look. Look really hard.”

You follow the path where her finger points, shuffling closer to the t.v. to get a clearer look. It takes a moment for you to see it, like really see it, but it’s definitely there. Underneath the last line, hidden from the eyes of those unable to see the horrors that you and those like Utahime can, is another message. You fall to your knees, eyes glued to the tiny additional message floating beneath, glowing with cursed energy that reads, “JUJUTSU SorcererS PREFERRED”. 

Confusion slowly takes over your features, the corners of your lips turning down with a frown, a brow arched and skepticism in your eyes. Were you missing something? Was this some sick joke? Were Jujutsu Sorcerers huge fans of The Bachelor or something? You spin around to face your friend who has a look of mischief twinkling in her eyes. You know it all too well, mouth falling open and a finger pointing when you scream “NO” at the exact moment Utahime yells “YOU SHOULD APPLY!”

“Absolutely not!” You must be looking at Utahime like she’s grown two more heads because she looks just as confused as you.

“Why not?! You’d be great on there!”

Maybe she hasn’t grown two more heads. Maybe her brain was swapped while you were in the kitchen because why the hell was she suggesting this?

“Well, for starters, I’m not really looking to date.”

Utahime rolls her eyes, as if that’s just not a good enough excuse. You should just ignore her, snatch the remote from her hand and hit play so you can get back to the show and see who this guy chooses to potentially get engaged to. But for some reason (could be the single drop of wine your friend allowed you to have while she downed the rest), you feel the need to keep listing off reasons to not sign up. “Secondly, I– why would I even want to go on this show?”

Utahime sips her wine, eyes low as she falls into her drunkenness, but you can still see the sparkle of mischief in those brown hues…and it scares you. So you keep talking, chatting away and listing excuse after excuse to your friend, eventually finding yourself back on the couch trying to drive your final point home.

“Besides, they want Sorcerers.” This seems to get Utahime’s attention again, makes her set her glass down as she looks at you.

“I’m sure it’s fine. You are a Sorcerer.”

“I’m a Window.”

“Semantics. You can see curses, can’t you?” Utahime argues.

“...yes.” You shift uncomfortably in your seat. “But I can’t do anything about them.”

It’s not something you should be ashamed of, but there’s just the tiniest bit of you that is ashamed. Because being able to see these monsters and not having the power to do anything about them…well, it feels like a curse in and of itself.

To this, she sighs. “Sorcerers, Windows. They’re just terms used by the higher-ups to keep their stupid, fucked up heirarchy intact.”

You know it’s the wine that’s loosened her tongue. In public, Utahime would not dare to speak so freely. The Jujutsu politics in Kyoto were a lot stricter than they were in Tokyo. Not that that said much anyway. The politics were shit regardless. But Utahime worked closely with those connected to the higher-ups, so outside of this little bubble in your apartment, she kept pretty hush hush about her true feelings.

You watch Utahime closely as she fiddles with her wine glass. She really is beautiful. You think she’d be incredible on a show like this. Which gives you the idea.

“What don’t you apply?”

Utahime leans back, a cackle so loud and abrupt leaving her tiny body.

“No way. I would never date any of these Sorcerers.”

“And you want me to?!” You ask incredulously. You don’t know whether to be offended or not.

Your friend fixes you with a deadpan stare. “You don’t know them the way I do. The only good one out of all of them is Nanami Kento…and Shoko.” She mutters the last name quietly, like it’s a secret that she thinks so highly of her. And maybe it is a secret…the way she feels about the doctor in Tokyo who you couldn’t help but notice has Utahime’s cheeks glowing red whenever she’s mentioned.

“Besides,” Utahime continues. “If I signed up for this and got paired with Gojo –” she shudders at the mere thought of being near the man. “I don’t think I’d be able to keep myself from projectile vomiting just at the prospect of having to kiss him.”

It’s your turn to laugh obnoxiously now, because – “Why the hell would the strongest Sorcerer in a thousand years sign up for this shit? You don’t think he has anything better to do? Like, you know…keep all of Japan safe?”

“Satoru Gojo does whatever Satoru Gojo wants.”

You can’t argue with that. Utahime would know best. She did grow up with him after all. She knew him well. You’ve never met the man, being just a Window, you doubt you ever will. Out of all the Sorcerers, you’ve only ever met Utahime and Principal Gakuganji. You’ve never even met any of the students. You all run in different circles, but that doesn't mean you don’t keep up with the going-ons of the Jujutsu world. Everyone knows Satoru Gojo.

“You should really sign up, though,” Utahime suggests once more. “You might meet a good person. If anything, you’ll get a good vacation out of it.” With that, she stands. It’s clear that the wine is hitting her again, because she wobbles clumsily to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

If it’s anything like every other week before this, you’ll be peeling Utahime out of your bathtub because she will have inevitably fallen asleep.

Your eyes fall back on the hidden message on the television, reading it over and over before you finally just hit play and let the finale finish.

Joey chooses whatever that girl’s name is. You’re only halfway paying attention because against your better judgment, you’re actually thinking about applying to this. But you think the show is stupid, right? Why would you waste your time? But what if Utahime is right? What if you do meet someone? It’s not that you’re against dating. You’re just not actively in the market for romance because you’ve found that dating non-Sorcerers is more stress than it’s worth.

The constant obligation you feel to regulate their emotions so you can avoid the creation of a cursed spirit that you’ll have to call in and do paperwork for? Exhausting. Not to mention, if you ever grew to truly love this person, you’d be overwhelmed with guilt if a curse manifested and harmed them in any way and you couldn’t do anything but watch in horror as you made a phone call.

You’d never really given any thought to it, but perhaps dating a Sorcerer is what you needed. You could end up meeting an amazing man!

But also, semantics or not, you were not technically a Sorcerer. You were simply a Window. Why the hell would an actual Sorcerer want to be with you? Better yet, what were the chances of this show even choosing you as their next Bachelorette?

- - - - - -

Apparently, the chances were extremely high, because one phone call, four video interviews, a nearly five hour drive from Kyoto to Tokyo, and days of promotional video and photo shoots later, you find yourself standing outside of the Bachelor Mansion, donning the most expensive gown that money could buy.

This is not what you expected. Not at all. There is so much going on. You want to run and hide from every single camera you see being propped up. You want to curl into yourself when the lights come on and the director calls, “Action!” And you see some man you’re just meeting for the first time approaching as he speaks directly to the camera.

“...and she’ll be making history tonight as The Bachelorette’s first Jujutsu Sorcerer,” you hear him tell the camera as he stops just a few feet short of you. Tall, blonde and handsome. He looks like an American football player. “I’m Jesse Palmer, ladies and gentleman. Now, let’s meet our Bachelorette!”

He turns to you, wearing a bright smile. The cameras follow, moving closer to catch a close-up of your face, so you smile as naturally as you can and try not to flinch when Jesse moves forward to embrace you in a swift hug.

Jesse calls your name as though you’ve been friends for a long time. “So nice to finally see you. You look great.”

The camera pans down your body and back up to your face. “Likewise, Jesse.”

“How’re you feeling?” he asks.

“I’m nervous! Definitely nervous, but feeling good! I’m so excited for this,” you lie. You’re dreading this process. But it’s too late to back out now. So you just hold your smile, conversing politely as Jesse makes small talk and gets to know you before the first contestant pulls up.

And you hope that if Utahime is watching, she sees the message behind your eyes screaming that you’re absolutely going to kill her.

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

Reader and Eddie both being clumsy shy virgins and Eddie ands up creaming his pants eating them out

-🧚

I LOVE THIS THOUGH BC LBR, HE WOULD. reader is 18, as always!

imagine that you & eddie have been friends for awhile now, and you're both smoking weed one night in your room. you're reminiscing about your childhood friendship, about how everything has always been glorious with the two of you, and how you would never trade the other for anything. you're best friends, through and through, and you've never had a single fight; tonight, that's what comes up. you're both giggly, heads pleasantly fuzzy with pot, and you're telling him how grateful you are for him and how he's never once fought with you, never once said a bad word to or about you, and never judged you for anything. he thanks you in turn for the same, and then after you both laugh at that (it's so goddamn funny, because you're both giggly when stoned), you play a game of truth or dare.

it goes smoothly for awhile, until you choose truth again in one round. eddie grins at you, flat on his back with his hair spread all around, his knees drawn to his chest as he takes a drag from a cigarette he was smoking. he meets your eyes, winking before saying: "who was the last guy you slept with?"

you freeze, but soon erupt into giggles at the question. he looks at you in confusion, but his gaze is expectant, waiting for an answer. you feel your face growing hot, and realize that you would have to admit the truth to him. it was a topic that never really came up, one that was always assumed because of your dating history. however, the truth was, you never had sex before--not even hand or mouth stuff. and you admit that to him, shyly and absolutely mortified, hiding your face from him. but he's tilting your chin up as he sits up slightly, smiling softly before caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"hey, no," he says gently, shaking his head. "no, it's okay. i...look, i know you probably assume that i'm getting groupies by the loads at every corroded coffin show. the truth is, i've never actually...i've never done anything past a blowjob before."

your eyes widen, and you look at him in surprise. "you're kidding."

"cross my heart and hope to die," he says as he puts a hand to his heart. "i never have. i've never been attracted to anyone, except--i've just never been attracted enough to anyone else."

"who are you attracted to?" you ask teasingly. "you could always ask them; she would be the luckiest girl in the world."

he blushes at that, chuckling again as he pulls you close. "well, she already knows now. kinda."

"what--" you begin, but you're cut off as he presses his lips to yours.

this is hardly your first kiss with him, but it's the first one that actually mattered. the first time he kissed you was when the two of you were drunk, in the back of your best friend's car as they drove you home from a party. you didn't mind it, though, and neither did eddie. in fact, you hoped he would do it again after that, only he never did. tonight, though, with the way he's kissing you, you forgot that first kiss even existed. this one isn't fueled by booze and drunk thinking; it's fueled by passion, by love, by such desperation & longing that you feel your breath being stolen. you never knew that eddie could be such a fantastic kisser when he wasn't sloppy drunk, but goddamn if he wasn't surprising you right now. his lips moved softly, chastely, his tongue swiping your lower lip before he draws away.

"i've never wanted anyone else but you," he admits, his cheeks still red. "i know it's ridiculous, because you're my best friend, but i can't help the way i've always felt about you."

"no, don't say that," you say, taking his face in your hands. you stroke some of his hair back, tucking some behind his ear as you press your forehead to his. "i feel the same about you, too."

"you do?" eddie asks in surprise, and your only response is to kiss him again.

that kiss turns into making out, which then turns into hands & lips wandering, which then turns into the slow removal of clothing. you never thought that anything could feel so good as his lips on your neck, and then on your breasts, and finally, on your inner thighs. both of you are clumsy in your movements, and eddie's inexperience does show with you, but you don't mind. you know that you're just as inexperienced as he is, and this is a journey that the two of you would be taking together. it feels amazing, and you're so glad that you can share yourself with him this way. between clumsy kisses, fumbling with each other's clothing, the blushing of his cheeks and the heating of your own every time your teeth bumped together, everything was absolute fucking paradise.

and then eddie is eating your pussy, and oh god, it's wonderful. he doesn't really know how to do it properly yet, since this is his first time, but he's still incredible at it. his tongue drags experimentally through your folds, groaning at your taste as he grips your thighs. you moan, arching a little as his tongue swirls all through your pussy, even pushing inside once to test the waters. you cry out, one hand flying to his hair to hold on as he starts to slowly push it in & out. you look down at him, chest heaving as he looks back at you, brown eyes full of lust as he does so.

"doing okay?" he asks. "you're enjoying this, right?"

"very much," you admit, your cheeks warm. "i promise."

"good," he says, and his cheeks turn red as he admits: "i'm really fucking hard right now, y/n."

you giggle, feeling more heat in your face as he sets back to work. he eats you out until your legs are shaking, and you're a moaning, writhing mess above him. he's moaning against your cunt, his grip on you tightening as his eyes squeeze shut. his groans get louder, his body spasms, and his grip is getting tighter on your legs, which causes you look at him in confusion. before you can ask if he's alright, he's opening his eyes to look up at you, pulling his face away and wiping the bottom of it with one hand. he looks absolutely mortified, his doe eyes widening as he begins to stutter. he's blood red, glancing down at the crotch of his pants as he ducks his head in shame.

"shit," he whispers. "y/n, i just..."

you sit up a little, concerned as you examine him. "what happened?"

"i just came," he says, still not looking at you. "i'm so fucking sorry, i--"

"shh, hey," you say, reaching down so that you can tilt his head up. "it's okay. we can always try again later, or tomorrow, or any other day. it happens sometimes; it's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about."

"you're not mad?" eddie asks, his face flickering with relief.

you laugh, rolling your eyes playfully before booping his nose. "when have i ever been mad at you in my life?"

"okay, i guess that's fair," he says considerably, lazily kissing your inner thighs. "do you want me to finish what i just started, though? maybe it'll get me...you know, ready again. i'm really, really enjoying this, a lot more than i ever thought i might."

"i'm not going to refuse that," you reply, lying back on the bed and opening your legs further as you feel heat in your cheeks. "i wanna know what it's like to cum with someone else, namely you, so..."

[oniikabuto]

hi i hope this doesnt seem annoying bc i have never requested anything from ppl IDK it makes me anxious 😭 but ur one bed for sp was so cute i adore ur writing !!! do u think u could do it for craigs gang + butters?

one bed! part 2

-- sfw --

part one (main 4 boys)

characters: butters stotch, craig tucker, tweek tweak, tolkien black, jimmy valmer, clyde donovan

a/n: you arent annoying at all dws!! ty for being my first request this is monumental. oh and i wasnt sure if tweek counted as part of craigs gang or not but i adore him so i made one for him. also thank you!!!!!! ;; also jimmy is so underrated i love him so much mwagh

notes: i cant write clyde for shit idk he has no personaluty sorry i love him though; same character dynamic as part 1 (mutual pining, character has a crush on the reader)

— ⛧ b. stotch

complains that it's past his bedtime, but gives in because he wants to spend time with you.

"it's past nine already!"

"well.. yeah. it isn't that late, butters."

"but i always sleep at nine!"

but he'll sit through movies with you anyways because he has a fat crush on you.

except when the end credits start rolling, you look over at butters and he's curled up in a ball, snoring.

you don't have the heart to wake him up, so you quietly shut your laptop and move it off your bed.

he'll probably get in trouble for not coming home at all, but his parents trust you enough. you can probably talk them out of grounding him tomorrow morning.

"butters", you whisper. "leo, you gotta move."

he rolls over, half-asleep and dazed. "huh..?"

"you're staying with me tonight. scoot over."

"o-oh, jeez, okay", he blushes when he feels the warmth of you next to him.

"night, butters."

he's probably praying he doesnt wet the bed he would actually die

murmurs in his sleep and talks about nonsense

drools like a puppy

probably goes mimimimimi like in the cartoons /j

you will wake up with his arm around you. if you move it, he'll find his way back again in his sleep

looks like a baby when he sleeps its so funny you cant help but take photos



— ⛧ c. tucker

you turn around to tell him it's getting late and ask if he needs a ride home

and he's dead asleep. on the floor. textbook over his lap. snoring very softly.

like no wonder it's been so quiet... as you were doing your homework, craig was asleep on your floor.

you felt so bad having to wake him up to move him to your bed

"craig, i'm so sorry. i got distracted, i didn't mean to-"

"it's fine. just let me sleep in the corner. i like your plushies", he yawns.

so he sleeps in the corner against the wall, and you sleep on the outside to make sure he doesn't roll right off the bed.

if you weren't there, he definitely would have bc when you wake up, he's smushed into you.

how can he breathe???

he also violently gnashes his teeth and it's very startling (my brother did that as a kid and i would almost pee myself in fear)

and he'll randomly put his hand somewhere like your face?????? the way he does it is so funny because it always seems like he's wide awake but you look over and he's mouth breathing and sound asleep

yeah he's a mouth breather

it's okay he's a cutie



— ⛧ t. tweak

passes the fuck out from coffee. like CRASHES

"yeah and then i was telling kyle about how- tweek, you okay?"

"tired....... can i go.....mmfjkg"

like at a certain point past 1am he just turns into a dead slug

poor thing

you just send him up to your bedroom and get him a change of clothes so that he doesn't have to sleep in a button-up

except by the time you get up to your room, he's dead asleep.

you don't bother trying to wake him up, since you've never seen him sleep so peacefully.

he's curled up on his side, face buried in your plushies.

you scoot in next to him, so close that you can smell the milky coffee lingering in his hair.

it's kinda nice

in the middle of the night you wake up to a really strange noise.

it's tweek

he's doing this weird clicky thing with his tongue in his mouth in his sleep

like. okay?????? you go back to sleep

and then he flings his whole arm over and WHACKS you hard in the face

"TWEEK??"

"nhg..,"

he just randomly jerks in his sleep, wakes up for a second and falls back asleep

it's very startling

sometimes you have to hold him down with your arms

he loves it



— ⛧ t. black

actually a super chill guy to sleep with

he's enjoyable to have over

you'll both be studying for midterm exams next week, and he yawns

"it's like. ten. do you just wanna spend the night here?"

"is that, uh- is that okay with you?"

"yeah, my room's upstairs. i'll meet you up there in a sec"

he'll text his mom that he's spending the night because he's actually responsible

gets a little embarassed to sleep in your bed

but a win is a win

gets a LOT embarassed when you get in bed with him

falls asleep pretty fast actually

he's a relatively normal sleeper

spends like 30 minutes in the bathroom washing his face and stuff before he goes to bed

"do you have cleanser?"

sleeps like a rock

except for when he randomly talks

like TALKS. clear as day

scares you shitless

"y/n."

'tolkien??? are you up still??"

"why would you do that."

"do what??"

"grape juice"

and then he'd roll over and go back to sleep

does not remember any of his nighttime conversations in the morning

"i said that? are you sure?"



— ⛧ j. valmer

fell asleep on your couch in the middle of a horror movie

to your dismay

because when you turned away from the screen and grab at him in fear, he's SNORING. his ass is SNORING as the clown violently murders the main character.

"jimmy!"

"what?"

you just make a jokingly-angry face at him.

"it's late. can't i ju-just stay h-h-here?"

"well- i mean, sure, but you can't just sleep on the couch, dude. come up to my room, i'll show you."

"re-really?"

grins ear to ear

hes so down bad for you

almost implodes when you lean his crutches against the door and make sure they won't fall

DOES implode when you get in next to him

he smells like dish soap but in a good way

like citrus

you tell him so, and to that he makes a stupid "orange-you happy i'm here" joke

"jimmy, go to sleep."

"f-fine."

makes sure he's got the elastics for his braces in

in the middle of the night he'll whisper your name

"y/n r u still up"

"yeah what"

"i just thought of something really funny"

it gets old so fast but it's okay he's cute



— ⛧ c. donovan

crashes at 8pm after insisting he can pull an all-nighter

refuses to get up unless you drag him by his ankles

and even then he'll lay on the floor like a dead fish

so you just let him stay

meticulously brushes his hair sideways with wet fingers to make sure he doesn't wake up with a bedhead in front of you

he does anyway.

you walk up behind him as he moves his hair "whatcha doin?"

he jumps THREE FEET and whirls around

"nothing!" as if he's hiding a government secret or sum

once you guys r in bed he stops acting all tough and cool and just freaks out

his back will be turned but he's beet red

breathes really loudly when he falls asleep

and sleeps in ATROCIOUS positions

you'll wake up with his foot on your chest and the blanket flipped upside down

someone needs to belt this boy down to the bed or something

he's really a cute sleeper though

sometimes you wake up and see him face-down in a pillow and move him over to make sure he doesn't like. suffocate

and then he wakes up to you on top of him with no context

"....y/n?"



[xo-urban]

HI HIII HELLOOO

soo, request for ghost x male reader? :D

probably this one may be a little sad, but let's say reader also uses a mask like ghost so no one actually knows his face, not even ghost. he has been working on his team for years now gets along with ghost (they're in love but in denial lol) bc both use masks and the team finds it funny.

one day one mission goes wrong and his mask gets snatched, ghost sees and they act like nothing happened the rest of the mission but ghost clearly sees that the soldier is affected by this.

later, ghost takes him to a more private place where they adress the situation and the soldier let's ghost take off his mask basically showing his face again more carefully, seeing this big ass scar that covers a lot of his face and that's mostly why he used the mask in the first place. they already have a lot of trust in eachother so simon let's the soldier see his face and then they kiss.

kinda dramatic, but that's my thing lol bye bye!

I loved this sm 🫶

Good Things Come in Damaged Packages

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Male Reader

Summary: A mission went a little south and Ghost supports you all the way when you show him your biggest insecurity.

Warnings: Typical mission violence, angsty themes, fluff and Ghost support, no beta read cause I’m lazy 😭

Word count: 883

Despite how much time had actually passed serving with Task Force 141, you have never shown your face, not to a single person. You despised your looks and cherished your privacy. You were okay with it, knowing there was another person who also his his face made you feel a little bit more welcomed when you first came.

You and Ghost never asked about taking off the masks, keeping to yourselves was the normal. You liked him for being wary of your boundaries as you are of his own.

The reason for your mask was this nasty burn scar that made you heavily insecure, to you, it was hideous, your only option was to hide it so you wouldn’t be so heavily judged. It took up almost half your face, like someone tried to erase you but couldn’t quite get the job done. You’d never thought about anyone loving you to this day, it was completely hopeless to you.

Over the years, you and Ghost became closer, you would trust the man with your life, but you’ve still never shown your face to him. You’ve seen him lift his mask to take a drink, and you can’t lie when you were caught staring for a few moments.

Tonight you two had a mission to retrieve some intel for your operations. It was dark out when the two of you approached the building which said to have held the information you needed. The place was littered with enemies.

You stayed dead silent when you lead Ghost into the building. Whenever an enemy appeared, you aimed and pulled your trigger. You had no silencer which alerted the whole building. Footsteps ran to your position as Ghost had your back, firing clean shots at your enemies, savoring his ammunition as you tread forward, clearing a path.

You took a step forward, only to get pulled into a dark room. “Fuck!” You yelled, capturing Ghost’s attention. The enemy yanked your mask off before you threw yourself at him, sending the two of you tumbling to the ground. When Ghost turned into the room, he froze, shocked as he saw your angered face, it was the worst yet possible time to have seen it. You gritted your teeth when his fist connected with your jaw, cursing as you pulled out your pistol and shoved it into his chest, firing multiple shots into your enemy. You stood silently, picking your mask off from the ground and putting it on. You huffed turning to leave, only to see Ghost with his eyes on you.

He saw.

He saw your face.

The face that you found hideous, you cursed to yourself as you shoved past him, this wasn’t the time to deal with your anxiety. The mission continued without further problems, happening to be too easy for you and Ghost. You grabbed the files and left quickly, not wanting to say a word.

When the two of you hopped in the car to head back to base, it was so uncomfortably suffocating but silent for the most part. The tension was there and you hated it. When you arrived at base you were in a hurry to leave, gripping onto the files to hand to Price later. You heard Ghost call for you but you ignored him, he probably found you disgusting and you hated it, you hated yourself for it.

You dropped off the files before quickly walking to your room with your head slightly down. That's when you were pulled into a room you found so much comfort in. You looked up to find Ghost staring at you with soft eyes, “What do you want..?” You spoke softly, afraid of what he’ll say after seeing your face.

“You don’t have to run away from me.. Scars can still be beautiful and shouldn’t define you at all..” Ghost spoke softly, cupping your face in his hand, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. “You’re beautiful y’know? You don’t need to hide from me.. Not any more” Ghost spoke softly, slowly lifting up your mask to reveal your teary eyes, you never fought him, letting him remove your sense of security.

“You’re so perfect.. I love you so much..” Ghost whispered, watching with soft eyes as tears rolled down your cheeks. You hiccuped, pulling Ghost close to you as you cried into him. You felt accepted after hiding for so long.

But most importantly, you felt loved.

Ghost hushed you, cupping your cheek to get you to look up to him through teary eyes, his mask was off and you couldn’t help but sob out of pure happiness.

Ghost pulled you into a kiss, hushing you softly as you leaned against him, he rubbed your back with a free hand while the other rubbed away your crystal tears.

“I love you so much, ever since the day we met, just knew you were the one. You’re so perfect darling.. Wouldn’t trade your handsome face for the world… never. I love you.”

It was all you’ve ever wanted, to be an accepted human again.

You cried in Ghost’s comfort, sobbing as you told him you loved him so much, over and over as if Ghost was too stubborn to get it in his head.

“You’re perfect, just the way the world built you.”

[whosjunglejim4322]

Stay? - Vampire!Johnny

Warnings : slight mentions of violence, nfsw, pussy eating, overstimulation, kissing (bc 🥴) johnny being overly protective and also kinda spooky but in a cute way, SOFT VAMP JOHNNY AGENDA, mentions of blood because....well, maybe I AM a monster fucker

You'd allowed him in, four months ago nearly to the date. Still, he feels intrusive in nature everytime he enters your room through the balcony window. He tells himself it's mandatory, that if your shitty landlord won't get you proper locks in a vampire infested neighborhood - it's his duty to protect you.

As he did those months ago when a Strigoi almost ripped your face off, not his choice of words, but yours. In quote, "That guy almost ripped my fucking face off." In reality, the creature would have ripped your heart out, not your face. But that's a less important detail that he had chosen not to share while you were so worked up.

Your old floor doesn't creak as his footsteps careen towards your bed, where you're strewn across the sheets like you've been hit by a bus - each leg in a different direction, your face smooshed against the pillow and your arms hanging off of the bed. A chuckle echoes silently through his hollow chest as he sits on the bottom right corner of your bed, the only available space.

Normally, his presence would go unnoticed. As if a ghost bounded gracefully into your home, but the sticky midnight air is heavy on your skin, and his being is like cool morning air against your feet and ankles. It sends a shiver up your leg and then through your spine, until your eyes are fluttering open as if you've been greeted by a breeze.

"Mm, is that you Mr. Creepy?" You grumble, tired spine cracking in a few places as you roll over on your back. Mr. Creepy. You always think you're so funny, and unfortunately, you are. It's like he goes eons without smiling until he's with you.

"No, it's the big bad wolf."

You can hear the smirk in his voice, and you'd be more prepared for something snarky in return but you're far too tired, and far too entranced by the beauty that he is, right there in front of you. His ears twitch. Curse your beating heart, for its palpitations give everything away.

It's not like it's a secret, but sometimes you like to pretend you have composure around him.

Tonight is different, it is a rare occasion when you're actually awake for his visits. He hates waking you, he envies the dreams you have, the rest. However, you insist that whenever you wake up it's only because you weren't fully asleep in the first place.

"Come here, please." You beckon softly, hands reaching out for him, and like a beacon he follows despite his internal hesitation. He is like a feather above you, the cool of his skin underneath his shirt a sweet relief as your palms press against the expanse of his broad chest.

"You're dangerous, you know that? And really tempting." His lips spread into a smile against your cheek as his nose skims your skin. You giggle, tickled by his light touch. Your fingers find their way into his dark hair, using the tufts as a way to pull him closer.

"You're the one who wants to eat me, John." Your eyes connect, and his irises begin to bleed ruby upon the utterance of your words. You don't allow him to look away as he normally would, holding his face as though you have some type of strength over him at all - it's only your will that holds him steady.

"That's only partially true," he whispers, breath fanning against your mouth. "I think you'd let me, anyways."

You can't stand even the centimeter of separation between you two, and your impatience gets the better of you as you lift your neck to reach his lips, pressing them against yours and allowing yourself to be held by his arms as they wrap around your torso.

He has to practice so much control, its the sweetest of torture. You're fragile in his grip, hot and warm and throbbing. He feels the blood pumping through your veins, the thump of your heart. It's intoxicating, and - "Fuck, I'm sorry."

He disconnects from you at once before the whimper can even leave your swollen mouth, his fingertips having pressed too hard against your sides. He's by the window, wincing, trying to scope your range of emotions. He smells the blood underneath your skin, the way it's leaking from the vessels and forming a bruise.

You're pouting, whining even, and he's perplexed.

"No, come back, please. I'm okay Johnny, really." You sit up, flushed and eager and he feels horribly guilty for the way his dick is solid against his belly, for the way he wants to crawl back to you and lick you raw.

You sense his hesitation and it does nothing but infuriate you.

"Sweetheart, you don't know the things I wish to do to you right now." His voice is low, and despite the fact that he's trying to sound gentle - the predator within him can't help but to slip itself into his intonation. Your sweet eyes plead, and your body is like the sun - pulsating with this heat. If he had a soul, he'd sell it just to be able to treat you in the way he wishes he was able to, to make love to you as a man would instead of a beast.

But you, you, you're so unfazed by his monstrosity, your feet are already on the floor and you're moving towards him. Before your toes can even lift from the surface he's got you pinned to the bed by your wrists, with the gentleness that compares to how you'd hold the stem of a flower between your fingers.

Even so, you're immobile.

"You don't scare me, you never will. I want you to kiss me again, just one more time." You're flush against him, a visceral reminder of how hungry he is for you. He groans, as if pained, and presses his pillowy mouth to yours with a force that takes your breath away.

You're enraptured by the intensity, the thrash of his tongue inside your mouth, as if he's seeking to taste every word you've ever spoken. His kisses alone feel like sex, thirsty and devout. You don't have time to put forth any effort yourself, he's taking this moment to suckle your bottom lip, then the top, in this repeated pattern until your mouth is nearly purple.

You're arching into his touch, the solidness of his form grounding you to reality so you don't float away and convince yourself this is all a sweet dream. You wiggle your wrists and he allows you room to breathe, unwrapping his slim fingers so that you can wrap your arms around his sturdy neck.

This time, when you look at him, he's different. He's still Johnny, his nose is still slender and sharp and his lips are still heart shaped and plump - but he's different. He looks like a vampire like a true vampire. Fangs have begun to protrude from behind his mouth, and he holds back the snarl that naturally wants to contort. His eyes are so dark they're like the expanse of the night sea. You're not his prey.

You're fixated, mesmerized and your hands slip down the scope of his shoulders, down past his sides and over his hard abdomen. His head cocks to the side as he hovers his lips over yours, hair tickling your cheeks.

"Careful, please." He groans, as your warm hands slip underneath his tee shirt to smooth across his belly, to revel in the slopes and planes. It feels too good, he doesn't know what to do with himself. Being with a human has never felt this way. He feels drunk.

"Open your mouth, Johnny." You ask so sweetly, he actually feels like he's the one in the lesser position of power, a choked gasp caught in his throat when your pretty pink tongue slips past your lips, and meets with the small dagger that serves as a weapon for his kind.

You don't lick it hard enough as to draw any blood, but the shiver that wracks his body is satisfying enough. When you travel to the other fang, your hand grace's over the hard bulge protruding from his bottoms, any trepidation he felt prior to walking, or floating, into your home has left him. He knows exactly what he's going to do to you.

"Can I taste you? I need to taste you." Johnny is weak against you, your hand is palming his length and he can't think straight, how odd.

"Yes, please yes." You breathe, though Johnny descends your clavicle - skipping your neck for all intensive safety purposes - before he can see you tilt your chin up, exposing your jugular to him, awaiting the sting. Instead, you're greeted by kisses that even the thin material of your tank top doesn't stop.

His hands never stray from your body, gripping your sides as he passes over your left breast, tongue toying with the hard bud through your top. The sound you let would have his heart ready to burst if he had one that was able to beat. Your arching up into him with this need, his fingertips accidentally rip through the fabric.

He doesn't apologize this time, not when he realizes you're so fucked already, you don't even have a silly or snarky comment to make about it.

His hair is a vice that your fingers cling to as he travels down to your navel, sloppy wet kisses left below and around your bellybutton. Your legs have already begun to spread, his palms traveling across your hips to the meat between your thighs where he pries them apart - greeted immediately by the scent of your arousal.

"Fuck, you're so sweet baby, all of this is for me?" He quizzes lowly, trying to take his time, to resist the urge to eat you whole as he pecks and nibbles at your flesh, relishing in the squeaks and gasps that leaves your throat at the action.

"Please, please don't stop." You beg, and for the first time, his laugh sounds sardonic.

"Don't stop? Baby I haven't even started," he kisses the crease between your thigh and your middle, holding you down to prevent the squirming that your human body instinctually resorts to when faced with pleasure. "what do you want, hmm? You want me to lick your little pussy? Is that it?"

You're taken aback by the words, by the tone he possesses. You try to clamp your legs together to relieve some of the throbbing but he's having none of that, forcing you to answer by licking the mound of your pussy through the thin little pajama shorts you have on, already tasting the sticky arousal that's been leaking and now coats your labia.

"Yes, w-want you to l-lick me." You're not sure what's come over you, why you're on the verge of tears with need but Johnny enjoys seeing you like this. A taste of how you make him feel all the time.

"That's it, that's what I wanna hear baby." He growls, cool air hitting your swollen clit as the sound of ripping fabric roars through the dark room. He has no time for the barriers between you two.

Your scent is like nothing he's ever experienced before. He's literally drooling, grateful that he's the only one who has acute vision in the dark, for he'd feel a little pathetic if you saw how hungry he is for you right at this moment. He parts your thighs even further with his elbows, leveling his face with your sex.

He uses both of his thumbs to spread your lips apart, reveling in the sticky sound of your flesh separating and opening up for him - he doesn't even tease, he dives straight in, wrapping his lips around your bud and suckling with as much gentleness as his kind can muster.

You're not sure what to do with yourself, spine arching and mouth parted with a moan that is caught in your throat. Your fingers grip his raven locks fiercely, and you feel the vibration of his hum in contentment, against your clit.

"J-John! Oh!" Your mewls only further his vigor, head shaking back and forth as dines. He rears back and spits on your folds, watching it drip past your entrance and down to your ass. Once again, he has to remind himself to be gentle with you, sweet. You're so pliable underneath his ministrations.

"Mm, this pussy is mine. All mine." He groans between suckles and licks, frustrated he can't somehow just consume you completely.

Johnny decides right then, he's going to keep you.

[lime1991]

hold on i have to recraft my trolls age hc... i just learned there was a brozone website and on said site we have:

January 2nd 1999 is, maybe, Branch's birthday? And instead of being like "awesome im a big brother" Floyd just goes "thank god im not the baby anymore" after hes born.

Baby Branch's oldest message is this:

February 26th 1999. He's over a month old at this point, but the phrasing of "tonight's show" leads me to believe he was part of the band from literal birth (also why Floyd's first reaction to his birth is "thank you for saving me") and therefore this isnt his first show.

The last logins for all of the brothers is March 11th 1999

And just a day before, according to John Dory, new merch dropped

Soooo i think its safe to say around March 11th 1999 is when the band broke up after their ruined performance, which makes sense that it was also the last time any of them logged into the website. (though i think it would be sad and sweet if it showed branch had logged into it sometime recently but whatever)

So that brings me back around to the age thing.

The trollspedia page states Poppy is around 21-23, and I agree and am more inclined towards 22-23 personally. Seeing as Branch was born in January 1999, he'd be 24 in 2023. But the only thing that confuses me a little is Branch saying its been 20 years since the band broke up:

For 1999 to be 20 years ago, that would mean the movie takes place in 2019. And... honestly that's not too far off from 2023 so i don't mind that being the case, its always vague about what year its meant to be, a lot of animated movies are like this. Also i wanna bring up that the song Bridget and Poppy sing in the beginning (Good As Hell by Lizzo) came out in 2019, SO... its not impossible that the movie is meant to take place in 2019.

SO... with this all in mind... my new theory/headcanon:

As of 2019...

John Dory - 39 Bruce - 38 Clay - 33 Floyd - 28 Branch - 20

And as of 1999...

John Dory - 19 Spruce - 18 Clay - 13 Floyd - 8 Branch - 2 months

ALSO lets not forget the fact that troll age stages are different from humans', a 2 month old is singing and dancing in a boyband. They tend to mature past their actual age really quickly.

(i know these are country trolls, but the idea is still there. as soon as they pop out the egg, trolls are basically toddlers)

And I've tried to keep my theory compliant with what the wikia says (like how Clay's 1999 self is referred to as a teenager, therefore i made him 13) because i believe theyre mostly right. however. i also believe the movie takes place in 2019, not 2023. even if that wasnt the intention of dreamworks, they wrote in the script that its been 20 years since 1999... that can literally only be 2019 lol.

But if we want to imagine it takes place in 2023, heres age hcs for that too:

John Dory - 43 Bruce - 42 Clay - 37 Floyd - 32 Branch - 24

Btw this means, in my hc, Poppy is 19 in 2019 and 23 in 2023, as is implied in the wiki. Which makes sense to me, because Branch is obviously older than her by at least a year. With my hc that Bruce and JD are only a year apart (again, in compliance with the wikia that claims JD was a teenager in 1999 and therefore not 20 like i want him to be. and making the "heart throb" not a minor bc thats weird to me) the moment where Poppy calls JD the "old one" but later fawns over Bruce is made extra funny when the two of them are so close in age.

But i want to say for the millionth time so nobody gets confused bc of all these numbers: I THINK BAND TOGETHER TAKES PLACE IN 2019!!! not 2023. And don't even ask about how the first movie truly fits into this, I DONT KNOW, they definitely did not fully think through a trilogy in 2016. Some things are just a product of when they came out and thats ok.

[only-angel-28]

mastermind, part five

hey guys😀🔫

first of all im so sorry ik its been literally ten years since the last update but we're backk😋🙌🙌

anyways this used to be called redbone but im changing it to mastermind (the taylor song) bc i feel like it just fits more w the story but heres part five!!

its a short one for now but dw part six and seven are in the making and theyll probably be out later tonight or early tomorrow morning idk

anyways i hope you like this one please lmk and leave me some requests😋🤞

mastermind, masterlist

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“Good morning,” Harry says, smiling brightly as Hermione and I sit at the table.

“Morning,” we both reply in unison, Hermioen going to say something but is cut off when our attention darts to the old owl that all but crashes into our food on the table, sending bowls of cereal and plates of toast flying into the air.

“Ron! Get your owl in check!” I yell as Hermione magics away the spilt milk on my robes, leaving them brand new.

“Sorry, sorry. God this bird’s going to be the death of me.” Ron replies as he detaches the box in the owl's claws before shooing it away.

“What’s that?” Harry asks, pointing at the box curiously as Ron goes to open it and pulls out a long black robe with white ruffles at the collar.

“Mum’s sent me a dress!” Ron says in horror as he stares down at the old thing.

“Well, it does match your eyes. Is there a bonnet? Aha!” I shout through my laughter, pulling out a white collar with a black bow and holding it up at Ron’s neck.

“Oh shut up Y/N. You’re not funny.” Ron says dismissively as he walks over to Ginny and continues,

“Ginny here, these must be for you.”

“I’m not wearing that, it’s ghastly.” she says looking up at the dress in disgust.

Hermione lets out a fit of giggles as Harry and I smack each other, laughing at Ron, unable to control ourselves.

“What are you on about?” Ron asks confused.

“They’re not for Ginny, you idiot, they’re for you!” I shout as the Gryffindors around us join in on the laughter.

“They’re dress robes,” Hermione adds, calming down slightly.

“Dress robes, for what?” Ron responds with frustration in his voice.

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“The Yule Ball has been a Hogwarts tradition since its inception,” McGonagall’s voice booms in the large room filled with girls on one side and boys on the other. Hermione and I softly giggle as we make small quips about how uncomfortable Harry and Ron look, having to sit next to Theo and Draco.

“On Christmas Eve night, we gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity,” she says as she glides around the room, eyeing Harry and Draco as they make faces at each other, causing them to stop almost immediately.

“I expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward. And I mean this literally as the Yule Ball is, as you know, first and foremost, a dance,” she says, sending the girls into excited conversations and the boys into a sea of annoying groans.

“Silence!” she shouts over the noise, clapping her hands together over her head, “Our school has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for over 10 centuries. And I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.” she finishes, sending everyone into quiet laughter. I look up from my fixed gaze at McGonagall at Theo who snickers softly and looks at me before mouthing, “Try saying that five times fast.”

I smirk as I try whispering it as he does the same, before McGonagall walks over in front of us, breaking our gazes at each other. “Now, to dance,” she says, waving her arms around gracefully, turning to the girl's side, saying, “is to let the body breathe. Inside every girl, a secret swan slumbers…longing to burst forth and take flight.”

She turns to the boys, cutting off whatever snide remark Ron was making, “Inside every boy, a lordly lion prepared to prance. Mr Weasley.”

She walks over to Ron swiftly as he cowers slightly, looking immensely uncomfortable as she asks him to join her.

“...Yes?”

Harry looks over at Hermione and me and we smirk at Ron as McGonagall lectures him how to put his hands on her waist.

They dance for a minute before McGonagall calls everyone over and tells us to partner up, and Theo comes up to me with a hand behind his back. “Join me for this dance?” he says jokingly as he bows forward slightly and puts one hand out making me smile and reach out for his hand before I swiftly grab Harry’s from behind him and say, “Sorry maybe next time!” over my shoulder, sending him into laughter, shaking his head as Harry looks up at me quizzingly.

“Leaving him wanting more?” he smiles at me, “Yep, I learned from the best.” I joke, referencing the endless amounts of times Harry and Ginny have gotten close but have never made anything official.

He rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up.”

“Have you even asked her yet?” I ask as we sway to the music, “Not yet, I think I’ll do it tonight…if Ron doesn’t interrupt us again that is.”

“Don’t worry,” I say nodding my head over to the other side of the room where Ron and Hermione are trying to dance, “I think he’s got other things to worry about.”

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“We really need to get a move on, otherwise we’ll be the only ones without dates,” Ron whispers to Harry as we try and recreate the potion Slughorn’s just shown us.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he smiles to himself and focuses back on his potion, making me smile softly in return knowing he’s probably asked Ginny by now and she's said yes.

“What are you smiling about?” Theo asks, interrupting me from my thoughts as he adds fluxweed into our potion and looks at me confusingly. “No reason.” I smile up at him, noticing the ring I gave him on his finger.

“So,” I say, taking my seat as we wait for our potion to boil.

“So?” he replies, taking his seat next to me and resting the bottom side of his jaw in his hand with his elbow on the table, staring at me with his blue eyes.

“Yule Ball’s in a few days, have you found a date yet?”

“Mm no not yet. Why do you ask?” he smirks.

“Oh no, no reason.” I stutter, feeling embarrassed, as I try to distract myself with the brew in front of us.

“So your bruises have healed,” I say, reaching out and holding his face to the side to examine the area they used to be on top of his sharp cheekbone. “Mhm. All better now.” He smiles.

I sigh and say, “You shouldn’t have done that you know.” “Why not? I’d do it for Blaise or Pansy or even Draco, I’d do it for any of my friends, so why not you? Especially you.” he mutters the last bit silently but my ears catch it before it disappears, making blood rush to my ears and cheeks.

“A friendship between a Gryffindor and Slytherin is unheard of. Especially considering your family and my best friends, what makes you so confident in ours?”

“I don’t know. You’re…different,” he says, standing up, “You’re not like those other Gryffindors. They’re too proud.”

I laugh after him, gathering my own things as he goes to give Slughorn our finished potion, “You Slytherin lot aren’t all that humble anyways.”

“No Star, we just know our worth.” he winks back at me as he leaves and I notice something on his side of the desk. A little envelope with my name on it.

I open it to find,

“Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after curfew. Bring a jacket.”

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“You took your time,” Theo says as I walk up the stairs, holding two cups of hot chocolate for him and me.

“Shut up, I was bribing one of the elves to give me whipped cream in these this time.” I hold one of the drinks up to him to take it before he grabs both out my hands and puts them down on the floor,

“You shouldn’t have, we won’t need them.” He smiles mischievously before taking my hand and running down the large, empty corridors.

“Theo stop! Where are we going?!” I whisper yell out of surprise, grabbing his hand tighter as I run to keep up with him. “You’ll see!” He says over his shoulder, leading us out the castle and giving a few galleons to the prefect keeping watch at the door.

“Come on,” he says softly now, both of us panting from the run.

The cold wind hits me in the face and immediately sends a shiver up my spine, making me pull my jacket up slightly to cover my exposed neck.

Theo lets go of my hand and pulls his black, green and silver Slytherin scarf off and wraps the cloth around my neck, 

“Theo, will you stop being a prick and at least tell me where we’re going?”

He grabs my arm and links it in with his before saying, “We’re almost there.”

I look up at him as we walk in comfortable silence, the soft moonlight reflecting on his sharp features, his rosy cheeks and the cold vapour coming from his pink nose as he breathes and he turns to me giving me a big smile as he stops walking, turns me around and covers my eyes.

“Theo what now? You drag me out of the warm castle and make me freeze out here in the stupid snow and you didn’t even let me drink my hot chocolate and you won’t even tell me where we’re going and I’m probably going to get hypothermia at this point because of you.” I finish my rant as he turns me around, slowly removing his cold fingers from my eyes.

“Shut up and open your eyes, you drama queen.”

I can hear the smile in his voice as I open my eyes and see a big tree with a covering on top, looking like a den adorned in fairy lights and snowflake decorations. A red checkered picnic blanket resting on the ground along with my favourite pastries, hot chocolates and movies all set up on a projector facing the castle. Snowflakes all form one sentence above the movie projector screen playing Tangled, making my breath stop and a huge grin form on my lips.

Will you get tangled with me at the ball?

I turn around to find a flustered-looking Theodore with his hands in his pocket, nervously looking down at me waiting for my reaction. “You did this?” I ask with a quizzical smile on my face, still in disbelief that he went through all this effort for me.

“Yeah. Well I mean Blaise, Mattheo and Pansy helped me. Draco tried but he wasn’t any good so I got Pansy to instead. And I asked Hermione for all your favourite movies and I’ve seen you with all these pastries and hot chocolates a lot this time of year so I thought you’d like them. But I mean if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I can scrap it all and we can pretend like this never happened and-”

“Yes.” I interrupt his rant with a smile on my face, admiring his stress over whether I’d like the gesture or not.

“And I- Sorry?” He asks breaking his rant confusingly with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes, I love it and I’d love to go to the ball with you Theodore.”

“Oh, I- Okay well. Okay. That’s great, that’s…Wow.” He stutters out, surprised at my response.

Theodore Nott stuttering? Nervous? When did that happen? I think to myself as he composes himself again and asks, “Shall we?” pointing to the blanket and movie playing on the projector.

I nod, smiling brightly up at him as I give him a side hug. He tenses for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and hugging back tightly.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

part five done!!

lmk what you think and send me requests<33

taglist:

@harrysnovia @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @lilianelena39

[charmac]

My dad and I rarely talk on the phone unless there's bad news from home and he texted late tonight and asked if I could talk. Naturally I'm thinking something not good is coming.

He goes on to tell me that he was flying home and the plane had "that Philadelphia show you like" available to watch and he decided to watch the "Chuck-E-Cheese episode" because it looked interesting (insert me immediately turning insane). He thought it was really funny and told me how when he first came to the USA (early 90's) he took my sister to Chuck-E-Cheese and he remembers how baffled he was by the fact that there was a bar in the place (bc Australians would have that place looking like the end of the episode in a day).

And then he told me he watched the Celebrity Alcohol one because it reminded him of my interactions with the guys in the show (lmao) and that one was pretty funny too "with the private jet jokes" (surely the part of the celebrity alcohol episode that stood out the most)

He didn't watch any of the others (I don't think he remembers that I made him watch Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day last year) and his conclusion was "It's funny but it's a weird show" (So true)

[blankiebloo]

Can't sleep?

Venti x Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff

(Note: A drabble for my insomniacs)

You've been tossing and turning all night, small huffs escaping your lips as your mind just won't stop running. "Come on brain..." You groan out, feeling your exhaustion rise, yet your body nor mind will relax.

After a few more additional moments of trying to sleep, you give up. With a defeated sigh, you sit up in your bed, carding a hand through your hair as you try to brainstorm some ways of falling asleep. With no other option left, all you have is your beloved, Venti, to perhaps soothe you to sleep.

You stand up, the bed frame creaking from the change in weight, and you set out to Venti's bedroom. Normally, you'd be hesitant to knock on his door, not wanting to wake him up, but his lights on and you can hear the faint sound of a pen against paper. You gently knock on his door, not wanting to startle him nor ruin his train of thought.

"Ah... Come in." You can hear him call out, his writing stopping momentarily before continuing. You walk in and see him at his desk, a sheet of paper in front of him, with an ink bottle and feathered pen in his hand for writing. He takes a moment and looks at you, a gentle smile on his face, and his untied braids framing his cheeks perfectly. "Can't sleep?"

"Always..." You mutter, stepping inside and gently shutting the door behind you.

Venti hums, pointing to the chair next to him before he continues on writing. "Sit next to me, Windblume; lay your head in my lap if you'd like." He mutters, his voice drawing out as he focuses on writing once again.

You do exactly as he says and sit down, laying your head on his lap, and immediately you can feel your exhaustion getting to you. It's funny how just a bit of time with your lover can help you calm down; especially the sound of him writing, just the little things he does can work. Your eyes slowly close, and he starts to hum, one of his hands abandoning his desk in favor of gently stroking your hair.

"It seems like tonight's just a restless night for the both of us." He starts, before chuckling and continuing. "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to write some poems." He goes silent again, finishing up his poem you assume before he stops again, an almost silent sigh coming from him as he gently grabs one of your hands.

"We can sleep together." You suggest, opening your eyes and looking at him—he looks down and stares into your eyes back, smiling softly. "Yeah, we could."

A/N: Writing this bc it's 3:00 AM and I can't sleep, and I could really use some Venti cuddles. If only he existed. #Lonelyblankhours. But as always, if you'd like to make a request, read this first; and I love you all! ~Blank♡

[gramarye]

really really long post where i just talk about johan from yugioh gx thank you

im thinking about johan tonight bc i was drawing him and i wanna talk abt him. bear with me. I REALLY LIKE JOHAN . TO START THIS OFF WITH i have an official licensed johan "WHERE AM I" shirt and i adore it its really funny also i used to have like a johan pin i bought from a german anime store and it was like 8 euros but i shipped it off to my friend who is really really crazy about johan

^johan where am i shirt

anyway johan. jessejohan. i like johan so much believe me he is my nordic scandinavian brethen i just think his writing has issues mainly that he has like no real relationships outside judai and like. i know as a gay person -- i am literally a lesbian In A Lesbian Relationship In Real Life -- that characters will become more likeable when they're queer coded bcuz its Different and its relatable. however i think his writing is kind of really weak and i quote this thing my friend said in 2022 like a lot

HARD TRUTHS TO SWALLOW jesse is a beautiful damsel in distress and his personality outside jaden and crystal beasts is kind of nothing. i love him tho

but the most offensive thing abt it writing wise is like in season 4 when they duel against trueman sorry it was fujiwara. okay i was rewatching gx ages ago and my ex was watching it with me and it was her first time seeing it and shes a literature major and when the whole. "what is the darkness in johan's heart" scene, AFTER IT WAS ESTABLISHED EVERYONE, EVERY STUDENT INCLUDING MANJOUME SHO ASUKA O'BRIEN ETCETC has darkness in their hearts,

my ex goes "if they reveal that he has no darkness in his heart because hes such a special boy im going to be so fucking mad because hes already a mary sue" (HER WORDS NOT MINE she was so mad about johan its funny.) AND THEN THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO

like he is literally too perfect. his only flaw is his one (1) time thing about getting lost which is never really brought up again (also its more of an endearing haha funny thing and yes i like it i have a shirt referencing that scene.) and the fact that.. he gets taken over i guess.

i do think the switch around where they bamboozle fujiwara is really funny. it is a funny scene i just wish they literally didn't do it at the cost of "johan is a perfect person without any mental weaknesses when literally every single other character has some flaws" I DONT GET IT!!!

maybe he can just photosynthesize his worries into strength i dont know. does anyone remember that meme

but really like WHAT IS JOHAN WITHOUT JUDAI!!!! why is he literally perfect and above other characters also. why could they not give him any darkness like What possible reason does that serve except me think he is BORING!!!! i do like johan btw as i said i really do. i just think his writing kinda sucks and people are way too nice on johan because he is queer coded but the fact is his writing is really weak. this isnt exclusive to johan ok i also dislike some aspects of jadens writing and asukas and so forth (naming characters i really like to prove my point) I AM CRITICAL this is just. about johan. ok.

and this brings me to the weirdo youtube essayists who only care about s3 and think its the peak of gx and yugioh in general and also. ONE SUCH YOUTUBER. WHO SAID IT IS "HOMOPHOBIC" THAT JESSE IS SOUTHERN IN THE DUB WHICH. WHAT?

you think all southern people all homophobic??? im sorry but i know so many goddamn queer people in thhe south. are you out of your mind. please blow up. LET HIM BE A GAY TEXAN you are just showing your own prejudice literally why did so many gx fans eat up "umm it was homophobic of 4kids to make him southern" they give like everyone accents. he has cowboy boots in his design. its not homophobia hes just southern and southern gay people exist. watch brokeback mountain or something

anway

i think johan is a much more interesting character if you incorporate his manga counterpart into it. like combine him with his anime self and it'd be really fun. his bug enthusiasm in the manga is fun like he has an actual hobby and personality. ADHD bug king

also i think personally they should lean into him being scandinavian more. ITS FUNNY. i think he should try to feed manjoume blodplättar because he looks anemic. he should open a can of surströmming around asuka (canonically very much hates food with strong smells) and she gets so upset she has to like leave the building entirely. she should get into a cultural dispute with o'brien because he thinks carola's swedish cover of mickey is better than toni basil's original

i think this and like. septembers mikrofonkåt is what he should listen to. swedish pop baby

anyway. i like johan i just think Some of his fans are insane and thats why i need to take him down a peg every now and then . in a loving bully way. also hes very gender to me dont worry about it. also TWO different people have said some variation of the "fuck danganronpa and its fans i hope komaeda marries a woman" post about him to me in different years which is so funny.

anyway yes i love jessejohan. send post

[harryfeatgaga]

the first time you hook up with harry, you know about his reputation so you know it'll be good but he kind of takes you by surprise how good it actually is 🤭 he definitely goes down on you and makes you cum twice (and starts to try for a third but you push him away bc it's too much 🤭) and he talks soooo filthy to get you wound up and he's way more into kissing than you realized 🤭 and after he gives you a little break he fingers you and says "i think you can give me a few more, hm? one like this and at least one when I'm fucking you" and all you can do is whine bc it's just sooooo good and you're so overwhelmed 🤭 when you're getting a little too whiny he shushes you gently saying "doing so good for me you know that? my sweet girl" allll the soft praise and gentle neck kisses to keep you calm and make sure all you can think about is him 🤭 by the end of the night you're exhausted and so fucked out and he knows you won't be getting out of his bed for at least a few hours so when he comes back with a warm cloth to clean you up he kisses your forehead and says "i already ordered food, you can sleep if you want and I'll wake you when it's here" 🤭 when it's time to wake you up he's so gentle with it, saying your name softly and kissing your face until your eyes flutter open 😔 you do a full body stretch and smile a little saying "your bed is so much better than mine" and he grins saying "then you'd better sleep over tonight huh?" and your eyes go wide saying "oh I don't have to-" but he shuts you up with a kiss before he says against your lips "you're staying" and he leaves no room to argue and you're not going to complain🤭 the next morning you're way more sore than you expected and you're trying not to show it but he notices how you're walking a little funny and he can't help but grab your waist and pull you back to bed 🤭 he's kissing on your neck saying "I'm sorry... let me make it better" and then he's kissing down your body to eat you out again 🤭 after that you say "you know... you've gone down on me three times now and I haven't gotten to return the favor" and he just smirks, thumbing over your lip and saying "next time" 🤭 when you're ready to leave he insists on walking you home and all the way up to your front door, you give him a little kiss then say "we should do this again" and he's all "we will very much be doing this again" 🤭 he waits to make sure you get inside safely, and once you do you get a text before you even take your shoes off, when you check it it's him asking if you're free tomorrow 🤭

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FUCKING GODDDDD WHAT THE FUCKKKVJNHJFINHJFNFBHCJ BITCHHHHFIJFHC IM OBSESSSEDDJHBHJNCBH ARE YOU KIDDDING MEEEEENJFBHUJIKOL;?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

[hotchs-big-hands]

hi hi im fucking obsessed with your page and all the lovely anons like ya’ll are keeping me alive with your thoughts, comments, rants, stories, and gifs😭😭😭 HOWEVER i was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about how the team would take it if they saw how haley was treating the reader with her snide fucking comments and ugly ass attitude???? OR what if haley tries to get the team on her side bc she’s so fucking stupid and blinded with jealousy even tho they arent really close in the first place????

please bless me with your thoughts (IM BEGGING YOU🧎‍♀️)

- 🌊

Awwwhhh gosh thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖 you're very sweet! And I welcome you 🌊 anon!! It's nice to have you here 🥰🥰🥰🥰

NOW onto the deets!! Sooooo okay they can tell that whenever you're around or mentioned Haley is ✨tense✨. I mean they are profilers! It esp goes down when there's a gathering at the bar after a case. You're there, as you often are (even before you started dating Aaron if you're part of the team) and just generally having a great time sitting with him.

And then Haley enters the same bar. She managed to have Jack handed over to her sister, being encouraged to "get back out there". But what Jessica doesn't know is Haley decided to go to the very same bar she was attending with Aaron with the team years ago. She had heard he was seeing someone, but now she knows he is. And boy... she is not happy.

You're younger than her for a start. Pretty. Real pretty. Definitely more filled out than she ever was, however. And Aaron has his arm around your waist, smiling gently and chuckling at whatever the conversation was being had. No, she didn't want to see him so-

So she decides to saunter into the bar, pretending she hasn't seen any of them as she orders herself a drink. As she takes hold of her drink she walks casually near their table, she knows they've spotted her now. And then she feigns surprise as she lets her eyes wander to the group.

"Oh! I didn't expect to cross paths with you all tonight." She says. The group offer polite greetings to her and she smiles and nods, then her eyes land on you. "Ah... and you are?"

You tell her your name. She watches as Aaron's grip on you tightens a little. She hums.

"I see. Well I'm Haley Brooks, Aaron's ex-wife. I'm sure you know my dearest Jack, yes? I'm his mother." She says smugly as she shakes your hand a little too tightly. You look uncomfortable, she enjoys it. Her eyes drift to Aaron, who's watching her with slightly narrowed eyes. "I didn't expect you to move onto someone so... hmm, how should I put it?"

"Haley." Aaron says. His tone is a warning. Haley narrows her eyes a little.

"I was only going to say they're young, Aaron." God, she enjoyed the discomfort from the way she said his name. You're looking at her with a certain look that suggested you knew she was lying about what she was about to say. No doubt you'd heard it before, she thinks. One of the others at the table clears their throat.

"Ah, you here with anyone tonight?" Emilia(Emily?) asks her. Haley shifts her gaze to the woman with dark hair.

"Mhm no. Just haven't had much time for myself recently." She knows her words sting. Good. You clear your throat and offer a polite smile.

"I don't mind looking after Jack sometimes if you and Jessica need a break. He's always a good kid when he's at his dad's." You offer and Haley breathes out through her nose sharply.

"That's funny, when I spotted you all I thought you probably worked as a babysitter. You certainly look like one."

Before anyone else can speak up, Aaron slams his glass down on the table and stands up, firm and tall.

"Alright, that's enough. I think you should go." He says sternly to her. Haley gasps, wide eyed.

"A-Aaron I-"

"Now."

In a spark of anger, Haley downs her drink in one and slams her own glass down on the table.

"Fine. I'll just have to try to find myself a ride home then." She snaps. She turns to leave, and from behind her she hears possibly Derek say,

"Leave it to us, Hotch. Stay with (Y/n)."

She never did get to see you again.

[likesunsetorange]

Need her to drunkenly over tip by a huge margin again and for Eren to witness 😭

He tries to argue with her in the car but her head hurts and she’s certain she’s better at math than him even if she is drunk!

bodyguard au drabble # 4

LOL maybe bc im bored and taking a break from writing and i miss writing them cute bc i love them so much and its depressing writing them hate each other lol so here’s a little mini drabble!! also tried to combine some of the hc’s we’ve made that i happened to remember!!

(this is when they’re on good terms finally btw)

For all intents and purposes, Mikasa, albeit surprisingly, can handle her liquor.

How exactly? Eren’s not really sure, it’s something that still confuses him, especially when he’s certain she doesn’t weigh more than 140 lbs, he can’t quite comprehend where all the alcohol she drinks goes to. He’s sure it has something to do with her previous partying trysts, developing a tolerance over time. But from what Eren’s seen, some way, somehow, unless she’s purposeful in her drinking, she can normally make it out of a night unscathed, ending up mostly coherent at the end of the night.

So it’s because of this, Eren can’t seem to understand why tonight of all nights, she’s drunk beyond her means off two beers and a shot, as if it’s her first time drinking.

It’s Mikasa’s decision in the first place why the end up at the bar. After a day of running around, Mikasa wanting nothing more than to go to some new exhibit and an art gallery in Chelsea, in which she spends the entirety of their time their explaining every little detail of every art piece to Eren (which Eren finds himself enjoying more than he would like to admit), she insists on stopping at a few places he would like, feeling bad she drags him around to do her bidding; and then it’s only customary they get something to eat, knowing the two of them would be too lazy to cook once they got back.

But Mikasa, instead of ordering much to eat, orders a round of shots which they take together, and two beers (to Eren’s great surprise), and somehow ends up drunk. Her face flushed pink and her words beginning to slur, the customary signs of a Drunk Mikasa. She even starts scooting closer to him, whispering little jokes into his ear.

“Eren,” she whispers, trying to hold back giggles. “What do you call a sad strawberry?”

Eren raises a brow, wondering where this could possibly be going. “I don’t know, tell me.”

“A blue berry,” her words almost inaudible between laughs.

He can’t help but laugh a bit, because he can admit, it’s a little funny. He finds he likes this laid back version of her, when she’s seemingly more relaxed, not worrying about the things that he knows plague her mind—the side of her hates to see, plagued by her familial issues that cause more of a strain on her heart than she likes to admit. But on days like today, her steps are a little lighter, her smile a little brighter, and it’s hard to not be infected by her joyous mood.

“You’re ridiculous,” he says, shaking his head, but his mouth is upturned, clearly amused and endeared.

“I’m actually berry funny,” she counters in between laughs as she lightly sways side to side, almost causing her to fall out of the barstool before Eren steadies her.

After this, he can see how drunk she is, and flags the bartender over, ordering her something to eat, knowing they should probably get going soon before she gets any drunker.

He watches her as she sits at the bar beside him, picking at the fries he forced in front of her just a few minutes prior. She props her head up on her hand, face visibly flushed crimson, sporting this dopey smile on her face that Eren can’t help but find endearing—she’s so fucking cute.

“Eren,” she says turning to face him, “can we go now?” Her voice is sweet, the tone she uses every so often, the one that always gets him, it lacks the snappy tone she normally uses, even now that they’re on good terms.

“Mikasa, you need to eat something, you’re drunk,” he protests.

“I can be drunk at home; I’m tired,” she whines, her face almost forming into a pout—such a brat.

He almost succumbs to her wishes, much like he always does, knowing she does somewhat have a point. After a day full of running around—much like they always do—even he wants nothing more to go back to the apartment, shower, and go to sleep. But he would rather not deal with her being in a mood in the morning because she’s hungover.

“Just hurry and eat your fries and we can go.”

Though, Eren fails to realize that Mikasa, albeit drunk, is still Mikasa and does as she pleases. He watches as she waves the bartender over, her motions a little wobbly, and motions for the check. They’re one of three groups of people in the whole dive bar, so the bartender is back within a under a minute’s time, check in hand, Mikasa already having taken her card out ready to pay. He takes her card, handing her back her receipt for her to sign for it.

Eren sighs, knowing he isn’t going to win this battle, and watches as she signs, before she hands him the receipt.

“Here, hand this to him so we can go,” she says, her usual snappy tone back.

Eren reads over the receipt eyeing the original price and then the final price with tip, seeing Mikasa tipped him well over 100%.

“Mikasa, why did you tip him so much?”

“What do you mean, I tipped him 20%,” her voice confused. She stands up from her seat not wanting to continue the conversation, before grabbing Eren’s hand almost a bit forcefully, and pulling him from the stool. “C’mom, Hannes is here let’s go.”

Eren leaves the receipt on the counter, knowing there’s not much of anyone in the bar to grab it anyways, before allowing Mikasa to tug him along outside. He sees the usual SUV, and holds the door open so Mikasa can hop inside, and slides in behind her, opting to sit in the back with her.

“So do you usually drunkenly overtip people?” Eren finally asks once the car starts moving, Mikasa leaning her head against the seat with her eyes closed.

“What are you talking about, I tipped him correctly. I know how to do math Eren, I’m a Columbia graduate, thank you very much.”

“Mikasa, you tipped him $100 on a $55 tab.”

Mikasa opens her eyes to look at him, her face shocked. “You’re giving me a headache, stop talking,” she huffs before leaning against him, clearly wanting to end the conversation. Eren doesn’t mind her touch, almost leaning into it, clearly receptive of her (rare) physical affections.

“It’s this damn bow you wear all the time,” he jokes, tugging lightly at today’s pink ribbon.

“Well take it out then,” she says, not bothering to open her eyes.

He does as instructed, pulling on one of the strings, and taking off her hair tie, watching as her hair comes loose. “Thank you,” she mumbles. Her face visibly softens, almost as if his joke was half right, the tension instantly leaving her face once her hair is down.

“You know, there’s worse things you could be doing drunk, you’re just a generous tipper, who would’ve thought,” he jokes.

“Fuck off, I’m a nice person, okay.”

“Yes, Mikasa, you are,” he teases. “Now go to sleep, I’ll wake you up when we’re home.”

[spinnysocks]

appreciation for @devilsrecreation's janja and kiburi swap au (post here) bc i've had SO MUCH BRAINROT over it and i want to share some thoughts :3

for kiburi

first of all and mostly importantly, HE SINGS! LIKE, A LOT! it would be so fun to hear Tonight We Strike, an already A*** song, in his voice. i wonder if the songs would be different because he and his float are crocodiles 👀

more tamka and nduli screen time! :3 they'd be way more fleshed out and we'd get kiburi calling them "fish-for-brains" all the time <3

neema taking the place of nne and tano... kiburi gets so annoyed at tamka and nduli one day that he appoints neema to second-in-command. yeah, it goes downhill 💀

i feel like nduli in this au would enhance my mjuzi au even more if it was put into this! mainly because he'd be the mjuzi to makuu (because he swaps with jasiri)

on that note, makuu taking the place of jasiri is SO FUNNY. he's got practically the exact same personality as when he becomes a respected leader in canon, but he's... cheery? compassionate? helpful? basically enough of a small difference for him to greet kion like jasiri does in canon

makuu singing Siwi Ni Sawa 😭 i want to see that so bad. this is making me wonder if makuu and the other crocodiles would be teens maybe? unless kion just makes friends with a whole ass fully grown crocodile from the outlands who happens to be friendly hgdgf

and on THAT note, makuu and kiburi replace jasiri and janja, so gay croc bfs!!! kiburi's personality is obviously slightly altered to fit janja's role but it's so funny cuz dude just has internal gay panic. him singing A New Way To Go would be fucking amazing

as i'm typing this i realised that makuu x kiburi reminds me of that Go For It, [Insert Character]! meme. kiburi's the one who has to go for it and he's surrounded by images of makuu lmao

makuu and kion having a close friendship would be so fun, it's such a cool twist from canon cuz makuu is just that little bit more compassionate. it also means he becomes leader of the outlands! now THAT would be something to see

reformed kiburi 😍 who doesn't wanna see that?? him defending makuu's leadership and everything! what a twist from canon huh

i can just imagine the scene of makuu and kiburi reaching the tree of life, it takes all of kiburi's self control not to snap at bunga when he pounces him lmao. also he'd so be scared of lightning but pretend to be chill in front of makuu adsjjdhh. i love janja and azaad's friendly rivalry in canon, would be funny to see that with kiburi because "afraid of water, cheetah?" would make so much sense since he's a croc lol

OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED WE'D GET BABY CROCS IN "THE LAKE OF REFLECTION"!!!

also i love kiburi and reirei's allyship in canon so it'd be funny to see them bicker, and they'd get a song!!

the weird twist of hodari and kinyonga being the spies for scar's army while the skinks live in the pridelands as good guys. shupavu and njano actually being friends with the lion guard is really weird but also would be fun. njano wanting to be a croc! and SINGING!!! 🥺

in general, it would just be so goddamn funny for the lion guard to deal with kiburi's attitude all the time lmao

for janja

actual asshole janja is not something i thought of before but now i'm rocking with it. he literally just hates jasiri's rule, is like "nah, fuck you, i wanna be leader!" and gets his tail kicked like an idiot /affectionate

jasiri taking makuu's place and maybe being a bad leader at first?? that'd be pretty interesting to see especially with her personality. imagine her not being trusted at the savanna summit!

her being humbled by the pridelanders saving her clan would be awesome to see, i'd really like to see her personality shifted to the point where she's cocky and disrespectful but she betters herself

a hyena mashindano between jasiri and janja 👀 damn that'd be cool

i think i like this au of jasiri a lot bc she is involved in the pridelands, and it reminds me of this post <3 which could be even more fun if inserted into this au, with makuu as leader of the outlands accepted into the summit, cause crocs are a lot more dangerous than hyenas let me tell you that. it also adds depth bc it would be personal healing for kiara, as she was attacked by outlander crocodiles in TLK 2!

i wish i could talk more about janja but kiburi is canon does not have too much depth tbh 😭 but the concept of them swapping is soooo cool. it would be so trippy for them to be swapped when they meet in Let Sleeping Crocs Lie

i'm probably gonna get even more ideas after i post this i guarantee. just a very cool au with a lotta potential!!