#this scene was difficult for me to gif i'll admit lol

[shun-nie]

Gojo Satoru x reader x Geto Suguru

->you guys are chilling in your room.

!!!!!reader is a grade 1 sorcerer, Gojo and Geto being fools around you. Fluff, mentions of getting hurt.

"So, how did the last mission go?" Suguru asks, sitting at the floor since an annoying 6'3 white haired dumbass is taking the whole bed.

"It was fine, Utahime cried on me though." Y/N replies with a bored tone, she was reading a book, a book about murder to be exact. Suguru hums and smiles, it was the book he picked while you guys were out the other day.

"Don't act like you don't care, Y/N~ You always comfort her when she cries!" Satoru says and laughs loudly, stickin his tongue out when you glared a him.

"Your point is? You always whine on me and I have to shut you up everytime."

"Hey!!"

"Y/N is right, Satoru."

"You always back them up! It's not fair!!" Satoru crosses his arms and turns his back to you and Suguru.

Suguru sighs and turns his gaze over Satoru to you. Watching you close your book and stand up from your seat, walking over to your bed and sitting next to Satoru who was still laying down with his back facing you two.

"Hey, don't ignore us now. You'll probably give in and talk to us after 5 minutes anyway." Suguru chuckles as he watches you both. Satoru doesn't say anything, you roll your eyes and place your hand on his head. playing with his snow white locks, he told you many times that he likes it when you play with his hair.

"Just beacuse we team up to bully you doesn't mean we don't love you, 'toru." Satoru turned to you quickly, a childish grin on his face.

"So you admit you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

Satoru hugs you tightly, making you groan and pat his back. Suguru watched the scene in amusement, you're a difficult person. That's for sure. If you loved someone, you would care for them and make them see that you loved and cared for them deeply, but you'd never tell it with words. The first time you actually said that you love and care for both Satoru and Suguru, they were shocked. Never did they thought they would hear those words from you. Suguru smiled at the memory, standing up and prying Satoru away from you.

"Hey!" Satoru glared at Suguru, making Suguru shrug.

"Thanks Sugu'." you said and smiled slightly, Suguru smiled back and sat next to you on bed.

"I heard you got an injury from the last mission." Suguru said quietly, Satoru's eyes widened at the information as he lokks over you.

You stayed silent. It was true you got injured, it was serious too, but you didn't want to tell them beacuse tey would worry.

"That's why Utahime cried, right? She was telling Shoko about how she thought you died beacuse of her." Suguru continued, both of their eyes were on you. You sighed and nodded.

"Why didn't you tell us--" a very angry Satoru started but Suguru placed his hand on his shoulder, making him shut up.

"It was a deep scar, but I was fine. I didn't want you guys to worry about me. So I didn't brought it up." you finally replied, voice calm and steady.

They both frowned at your answer.

"This is literally the fifth time."

"You think it's better if we found out like this?"

"You would actually kill us if we did the same thing but you're doing it yourself?"

"Show us the scar."

"Yeah, show us the scar."

You sighed and stood up, lifted your shirt up to show the scar on your back.

You heard Satoru's gasp and Suguru's sigh. They probably won't let you go out of your room for the next 10 days.

"Y/N. I'm sorry but you call this scar a nothing?"

"This will probably leave a scar."

You could hear their worried tone, you frowned. This is exactly why you didn't tell them. They worry too much.

"Relax, I'm fine. Better than ever." You turned to them, Satoru rolled his eyes and Suguru shaked his head.

"i'M FiNe. No you're fucking not. Get on the bed. You have to cuddle us as a punıshment."

"Damn, chill. Fine, I'll cuddle your nasty ass." you said and sat on the bed, opening your arms as they got comfortable with you in their arms.

.

.

"NEVER hide things from us again." -Satoru

"I agree with Satoru on this one." -Suguru

"Yeah, yeah. Just shut up and sleep." -Y/N

..............................................................................................................................

[simp4wom3n]

Silent Scream

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Reader

Requested: Yes/No ~ request

Summary: Y/n appreciates horror movies but they also scare the sh*t out of her. When it's her girlfriend Jenna's pick for their movie night, Y/n attempts to hold in her fear in order to not embarrass herself ~ Word Count: 1.001k ~ Warnings: mentions + vague descriptions of gore - otherwise fluffy af

A/N: Hi!! two fics in one day?!? crazy. Anyways this one is kinda short but it was hella fun to write so hopefully you guys enjoy it. I'm hoping to maybe get another fic out before Christmas but no promises <3

"Y/n?!? What do you want to watch?" "I don't mind it's your turn to pick" you respond as you walk into your shared bedroom with a bowl of popcorn in your hand. Jenna was sat on the bed in an oversized t-shirt scrolling through basically every streaming service available. You let out a small chuckle as you watch her aimlessly scroll, "Just pick anything I'll watch whatever you want" you suggest, placing the popcorn down next to Jenna before you walk into your closet to change. "Mmm ok"

You change into an oversized shirt and some baggy shorts before exiting your closet and glancing at the TV to see if she had picked anything. 'It' was open and ready to play. "Ok anything but that" you blurt out pointing at the screen as Jenna shoots you an incredulous look. "Really?. I finally pick something and you refuse to watch it" she pouts at you, already making you feel bad. "Are you scared or?". See, you didn't hate horror movies. You admired the concept of them and loved the idea of them, but if you were being completely honest with yourself, they also scared the shit out of you. You liked watching movies for the purpose of relaxing and horror movies did the exact opposite. You were constantly tense and/or sitting on the edge of your seat knowing that there would be a jump scare, or something else terrifying about to happen. Were you going to admit that to Jenna though... No.

"It's not that I'm scared" you start, making your way over to the bed. "I just... I don't know I just like to feel like I got something out of the movie we watch and this one... I don't know I feel like there are better horror movies." you ramble as Jenna looks at you with a slight smirk and raised brow. "Such as?" she asks. "I don't know... Like one your in. That way I at least get to watch my girlfriend right? Seems pretty rewarding to me." "Fine cutie... we can watch Scream 5 instead." she chuckles as you smirk and get into bed next to her, thrilled that you somehow managed to convince her not to watch 'It'. Were you still watching a horror movie... yes, but you weren't lying when you said you found watching Jenna rewarding so that was a plus... right?

Your knuckles were already white due to how hard you are gripping the blanket and it's only the first scene. You really tried to just distract yourself with Jenna but it's very difficult to do when she is crying and screaming bloody murder whilst being stabbed by a psycho in a ghost suit. "What the fuuuuuck!" you mumbled in disgust as her character is stabbed in the hand, the knife going cleanly through and poking out the other side. "Ok fuck that" you slap your hand over your mouth as you turn your head to the side trying to get it out of your vision, meanwhile Jenna is just laughing and having the time of her life.

Basically every time ghost face is on screen or you suspect him to make an entrance at some point, you heart starts pounding with how scared you were. Despite you obviously knowing it wasn't real, a mantra you repeated many times in your head, you were still scared shitless and the gore definitely didn't help either. Every murder that happened made you scoot closer to your girlfriend, eventually grasping her hand in yours when her character is attacked in the hospital. "Fucking hell... why do you have to be such a good actor" you complain as tears begin to well in your eyes. "Oh my god Y/n are you crying?" Jenna asked sympathetically with a small chuckle. "Well yeah" you state whilst giggling as if it was obvious. "I mean I know it's not you but it looks like my girlfriend is being murdered" "Awww it's ok" Jenna pulls you into a small hug which leads to the two of you cuddling in bed. 'About time' you thought, finally able to find complete comfort.

The rest of the movie doesn't necessarily fly by, but it certainly goes faster than the first part. Every time you got scared or saw something disgusting, you would either squeeze Jenna tighter or hide your face in the crook of her neck. At this point you had given up trying to hide the fact that you were a bit of a pussy because you weren't going to deprive yourself of your girlfriends comfort for the sake of your ego. By the time 'act 3' came around, you weren't as scared as you expected yourself to be - except for the fact that you thought Jenna's character was dead for a hot minute which broke your heart. The gunshot makes you jump slightly but as soon as the camera pans to Jenna's character, probably the first smile of the movie makes it to your face. "Badass" you mutter causing Jenna to chuckle softly.

The movie had finally finished and you didn't hate it as much as you were expecting. Did you cry? yes. Did you jump? absolutely. But did you enjoy yourself? oddly kind of. Was it purely because Jenna was in it? possibly but who knows. "I didn't know you were such a chicken" Jenna laughs as the credits roll. "I am not!" you retort very defensively as she just gives you a knowing look, your defensive stance slipping immediately. "Ok maybe a little bit but I've seen worse". you turn your back to her as Jenna giggles, before she wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you back into her. "It's ok. Your cute when your scared" "Oh so my pain is funny to you?" you laugh turning your head around to face her, barely any space between the two. "A little" she giggles again as she covers your face in small kisses. "So mean"

Tag-list: @nitchxhdc @emeraldevan @looseheartedlady @the-night-owl-blr @badassjaguar @txmxav @oh-thats-cute @blckrwidow @cacciatricediartemide @flaiire1805 @rainbow-love4ever @fall-08

[cynicalclassicist]

Musings on Chibnall Sontarans

I've decided that it might be fun to try writing down some Doctor Who thoughts rather than just musing on them to myself. I freely admit that it's a tad rambling and I might diverge on the topic a bit but this is just me putting some thoughts down.

But the only way I'll ever get any better at writing posts like this is to write them.

Some thoughts on the Sontarans that I mused around.

I think that I prefer Chibnall's take on the Sontarans the most.

A recurring criticism that I saw of the Sontarans during Moffat's era was that they were being played for laughs too much. To be fair, the Sontarans don't really appear in force during much of his era. It's mainly just Strax, who is framed as a comedy Sontaran. It gets bit more complex when you see that when he first appeared there was a bit less of that comic tone, but after he joined Vastra and Jenny he was largely there to be the comic relief in the trio.

And when he briefly reverts back to his normal self in The Name of the Doctor it is effective, before he... gets disintegrated or erased, I'm never quite certain which.

But then you have scenes in The Time of the Doctor where the Sontarans don't seem to realise how an invisibility shield works and are there for a one-off joke.

The Sontarans don't really show up much under Peter Capaldi, Strax turning up in the first episode which is about it.

You may wonder why. Did they not fit Moffat's tone of more reflective and experimental takes with 12?

The boring answer for why the Sontarans didn't turn up much with 12 is... they just didn't. It's not really like the Daleks and to a slightly lesser extent the Cybermen, where it's sort of expected that each Doctor meets them.

The Sontarans were often seen as the third of the villain races in Doctor Who, behind the Daleks and Cybermen. But now they've been sort of eclipsed by the Weeping Angels. You can see that in how in The Time of the Doctor promo it had Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels, Silents... something something joke about not remembering them. And that Hell Bent had in the catacombs a Dalek (that I headcanon was left over from The Apocalypse Element), a Cyberman and a Weeping Angel.

And likely Moffat didn't really feel that there was much more to do with the Paternoster Gang. I didn't object to them not turning up again in 12's era and I don't object now.

The Sontarans in Pond Life were a bit more traditional in that they're menacing, Pond Life being the piece Chris Chibnall wrote... which leads back to the original point.

The Sontarans in Flux are presented in a much less comical light. This is probably the most effective that they've been on-screen since... The Invasion of Time, where they came close to conquering Gallifrey. But in Flux they are shown massacring their way through 19th century British soldiers, having inserted themselves into history and conquered a large portion of the world. In the same ep they've easily conquered modern-day Earth. Then later that series they conquer Earth quickly again, having engineered a plan across decades with another alien to weaken Earth's defences.

I would say that you do see some of the flaws in Doctor Who: Flux from what I've said here, in that there are two invasions of modern-day Earth by the Sontarans this series, apparently un-connected, as it's not clear if the Grand Serpent helped in their War of the Sontarans invasion. I know that Flux was cobbled together in very difficult circumstances, and it does kind of show that the scripts have had to be forced a bit so they all sort of fit together, with the odd ending which seems to forget that most of the Universe was destroyed. I hope that we get something like a Writer's Tale one day or even adaptations of the original plans, like Big Finish has done for some Classic stories. Maybe novelisations? Anyway...

Along with invading Earth, the Sontarans trick the Daleks and the Cybermen, who they often play second fiddle to, into being destroyed by the Flux and come very close to becoming the main power of the Universe.

Though the Sontarans have often been seen as rather comical thugs, with full-on attacks we do see that they can be cunning. Flux does make them worthy of their status as one of the Universe's top warrior races.

Now I don't think that the Sontarans need to be too serious. You can still play them for laughs in their belligerent nature. Their whole Imperialism is always subject to mockery. The Time Warrior starts with Commander Linx annexing the Earth. You get touches of that throughout. Commander Skaak tells the Doctor that they are invading during the Crimea War as they wanted to ride a horse... That image of a Sontaran on a horse is brilliant. And of course, a Sontaran getting addicted to chocolate.

I kind of like some more attention being drawn to the alien biology of Sontarans, with details like them easily getting a sweet tooth and the detail about them having trouble on Earth so needing to refuel every 27 hours. You might argue that this is the sort of weakness that would have been brought up earlier, that it would have worked as a weakness for another alien race, and that the Sontarans already have that probic vent weakness. Yes. But DW being in new stuff after decades is... meh, it happens. Though it's odd that Svild still goes through this sleep when he doesn't have access to the ship. Maybe he has supplies?

A scene which feels symbolic of the move to more brutal Sontarans over the bumbling Strax happens in War of the Sontarans. Svild feels more Strax-like, even while he is imprisoned boasting about defeating human scum. When he goes back to the Sontaran base he is told by his superior that he is a disgrace and killed.

I would hardly say that this is a personal attack on Moffat's way of doing the Sontarans. The mentality of presuming that different writers are attacking each other like they are rival politicians I find to be very reductive and needlessly provocative. It does feel though like a reminder that Strax and the way he acts is not typical of the Sontarans. It's as if Strax is being killed but it's not Strax, as to kill Strax here would be a bit much.

There is also a much nastier feel to the Sontarans. We are used to Strax talking about killing human scum and off-screen he apparently killed numerous horses, but we don't see him doing that. We know that it's his usual boistering. But the Sontarans in Flux do show that it's not just talk.

In their first scene in The Halloween Apocalypse a Sontaran tells another how disgusting they look, a meaner kind of humour. The Sontarans seem to revel in how nasty they are. They mockingly tell human captives to keep their last words to themselves before killing them. They even massacre all the Lupari save for Karvanista (that is done a bit quickly I agree). They trick the Daleks and the Cybermen into a trap.

I have noticed that Chibnall seems to prefer writing nastier villains, which you see with Solomon (it counts as he wrote the episode), Tzim-Sha, the Reconnaissance Dalek, the Spy Master, Ashad, Tecteun, Swarm... this deserves it's own essay. All I'll say here is that the world is showing so many real-life monsters it doesn't seem too implausible to depict characters revelling in their evil.

It is worth noting, as I am fond of doing, that there is a sort of Russian element to the Sontarans. In a way they seem a metaphor for the likes of Putin. After all, they take the place of Russia in a changed timeline. Then resorting to a long-scale infiltration of Earth's defences, including defunding UNIT, obviously alludes to Brexit and the weakening of British defences. Probably why the Master and the other top villains of the Whoniverse assemble around Russia in The Power of the Doctor... but that's another story. That needs its' own essay too.

And their leader rides a horse.

The Sontarans are opportunists here, not planning the Flux but certainly taking advantage of it. What the Flux is... well, it can be interpreted in various ways. It could just be a general worry of complete annihilation. The main villains in this series, the Ravagers, are basically Gods of Nihilism, believing in simply the destruction of everything and seeing it as a duty to bring about inevitability. Kind of like the Anti-Logopolitans... or an Anti-Monitor, if you're going DC comics. And that story had the villains taking advantage of the trouble to try taking control of the remaining Earths...

Unfortunately, some of the dialogue does lean into unfortunate territory. "If the Flux is destroying the universe, if planets and stars are being wiped out, there will be displaced creatures who need a home. Somewhere to take over." It does sound like it is leaning towards the great replacement, the scaremongering that people like Douglas Murray snarl about, of how European culture will be replaced. I don't think that was the intent, aliens whose planet has been destroyed invading Earth is very standard sci-fi, from War of the Worlds to a lot of Doctor Who. It's probably just unfortunate phrasing. Reminds me of Lawrence Miles going at Mark Gatiss over The Unquiet Dead having aliens pretending to be vulnerable then invading in force. Could that be argued as more problematic? I won't debate that here. The other showrunners have done their show of problematic stuff and comments but that doesn't really make it any better and if I go on about this then it looks like I'm excusing it.

Of course, if we're talking about Doctor Who writers going great replacement that's probably more Gareth Roberts, considering he writes in Douglas Murray's shitshow The Spectator now. And Strax was based on a concept he had... but moving on as he's a sore spot for many Doctor Who fans because of how clearly he rejects the mentality of the show.

It did occur to me that if the Sontarans were travelling back in time to invade human history in a big sweeping universe-threatening adventure which involves multiple Doctors, that sort of makes Flux the closest thing to a live-action adaptation of Doctor Who Legacy, a fun little game which ran from 2013-2019, as Tiny Rebel did not want to renew the license with the BBC. I suppose that Chibnall gets the blame for that as seeing the complaints over the lack of Christmas specials has demonstrated to me that lots of people don't seem to entirely understand how much power the showrunner has.

Moving back... maybe even the design of the Sontarans seems to hark back to their earlier nature. As opposed to the sleeker, more realistic look of the Sontarans from The Sontaran Stratagem onwards, these Sontarans are more Classic in design. The blue armour and smooth skin is replaced by the black armour and rocky look of the Classic series. From what I've seen (but that's my circle so not sure how representative it is) a lot of fans actually prefer this design.

To quote a site that I found recently...

"I don't know that I'm a huge fan of the new Sontaran design - Commander Skaak kept reminding me of George C. Scott - but I do like that it was a deliberate nod back to the initial Sontaran mask as designed for 'The Time Warrior,' with the hairs and pock marked skin. Kevin Lindsay, the actor who played Linx in that story and who received a shout out in this episode's script, suffered from heart trouble, and that initial mask caused him a lot of breathing problems. So much so that when they brought the supposed 'clone' of Linx back the following season they'd had to re-make the mask for the sake of his health, and they used that opportunity to clean up the look a lot, removing the hairs and giving the skin a much smoother complexion. That was the general Sontaran aesthetic they used thereafter, and I like the nod to the original concept." (https://www.douxreviews.com/2021/11/doctor-who-flux-chapter-two-war-of.html)

They even have a Sontaran in The Halloween Apocalypse stick his tongue out!

For the sake of completion I may as well show how it changed from Commander Linx to Commander Styre.

I actually asked @dalesramblingsblog about this comedy stuff recently and got a response. Yeh, Sontarans have always had a comic edge. https://dalesramblingsblog.tumblr.com/post/733709232342499328/if-were-going-on-the-making-affectionate-digs-at

Maybe this whole post is a waste of time... Anyway, it's kind of fun writing these. I should do more. I might quibble on some details but it's honestly nicer saying how I liked something in Doctor Who.

[solivagant-muse]

I am considering making DDLC fanart because I have an idea I want to try and draw! I just love DDLC so much.

Spoilers for DDLC ♡ Warnings: suicide mention, self-harm (cutting), domestic abuse, self-indulgent for me, ooc Sinclair brothers.

Regardless, these are the girls the Sinclairs would pick in the game according to me, also a little modern au of sorts:

Bo would pick Natsuki

Okay, I'll be honest, his first pick would have been Monika because she is meant to be the perfect girl (smart, athletic and popular) in the game. So in Bo's head he would go like: "She's the end goal of the game and I want to win the game (it's a visual novel Bo) so I'll go with her! Wait, I can't do that? WHY? Isn't this a dating simulator!? THIS IS BULLSHIT."

However, the longer he plays, the more he'll start to relate to Natsuki a lot and in a way feel a bit protective of her (more when he reaches the second act...) because it reminds him a little when he was a kid and his likes were ridiculed.

Her outbursts, difficult home life, defensive personality that hides an inner hurt, trying to enjoy the little things she has without being judged. He admires her strength as well despite being so small and frail.

He originally saw her poems as childish but learned to appreciate it the more attached be became of Natsuki. Not that he could say much about her writing because in his words, he doesn't have an artist bone in his body. (lies)

It speaks to him and NO, HE DOESN'T CARE FOR THIS RANDOM ANIME CHICK, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LESTER? SCREW YOU! THE STORY IS JUST INTRIGUING AND HER CHARACTER IS WELL-WRITTEN OKAY?

He actually jumped backed when Natsuki cracked her neck in the second act and came running to the screen, be then laughed at how dumb he was for getting scared of that but it actually haunts him a little. Touche Salvato team... touche.

Would be tempted to continue with the game but he has other responsibilities to attend to. Will probably watch a video or two if they grab his attention and wants to figure something out. Will maybe replay it in the future.

Routes:

Finished Sayori's Route ❌️

Finished Natsuki's Route ✅️

Finished Yuri's Route ✅️

Played all the Routes ❌️

Vincent would pick Yuri

Not surprising he picked her from all the other girls; quiet, shy, socially awkward, a bookworm with an interest for the morbid and knives, internal angst and complicated relationship with others. Aren't they pretty much the same person?

He just liked how smart and shy she was, and not only that, how she also had a fascination with the darker aspects of literature and life. Reading with her and listening to her explain her poems and books with such passion will surely get him really interested in whatever she has to say.

Vincent enjoyed the little poem making video game a lot, found it a cute detail and change of pace from the usual dating sims.

When it is revealed that Yuri self-harms, he's already thinking about how he would clean and bandage her wounds before taking a step back and realizing, Vincent... she's fictional. I shouldn't get this attached, and besides there is literally nothing I can do. But it will be at the back of his head, replaying how he would help or how he should react if he found out a loved one was doing the same. It was... an odd feeling for sure.

He actually blankly stared at the death cg scene for minutes after Yuri died, too stunned to react before quietly skipping the scene. Well... he really became attached to a pixel, huh? But he has to admit that the horror and mature themes of the game were quite impactful and unexpected.

He's still bitter that the "Portrait of Markov" wasn't a real book.

A completionist, so he would most probably unlock all the CGs and special poems. Will multi-task as well, watching all the ddlc videos he can find and read all theories while sculpting. He's pretty deep in the lore.

Routes:

Finished Sayori's Route ✅️

Finished Natsuki's Route ✅️

Finished Yuri's Route ✅️

Played all the Routes ✅️

Lester would pick Sayori

He just found her personality super sweet and endearing, I also see him getting quite upset at the reactions of the protagonist. Makes him a little angry and envious because if he had had a nice and pretty childhood friend who would visit him everyday, it would have helped him feel less lonely and make his every day feel less shitty than it already was.

Someone like Sayori would have really benefitted him and even his brothers in their child/teenagehood a lot. A little ball of sunshine than seemed to illuminate everything in her path with her presence alone.

With each letter and poem he would read, his heart would break more and more because the girl has so many bad feelings in that little head of hers. He genuinely wants to help her and tries picking "the nicest options" in where he can continue interacting with her.

He relates to her as well, the feeling of wanting to keep everyone together to the point of dismissing his own feelings, and acting as if everything was okay. He was the weird and energetic kid at school, didn't have many or any friends.

When the dreaded rope scene appears, he tried so hard to replay the game and make things right to no avail because this is DDLC we're talking about.

He'll most probably stop playing and uninstall it the moment the game rearranges itself and restarts the game play. Yeah, he knew it was a psychological horror game but the glitching and file deleting really messed him up. He'll find out about the end of the game due to the twins. He's glad he didn't continue.

Wouldn't have the heart to continue it, the Sayori scene (if you know, you know) affected him too deeply to do so. He thought that the many warnings splattered all over the game would prepare him for it, but they didn't.

Routes:

Finished Sayori's Route ✅️

Finished Sayori's Route ❌️

Finished Sayori's Route ❌️

Played all the Routes ❌️

In short, the boys get attached to anime pixels.

[fangirlings-things]

He's just too much — Part. 3

A/N: hey guuuys, thank you for all the positive feedback on the previous chapter and I'm sorry for the waiting, but here I am finally with chapter 3!!! I'm thinking about doing a final part 4 so, as usual, let me know what you think

Pairings: Michael Gray x reader

Warnings: a few curse words, mentions of smut

Summary: Michael Gray is just too much for (Y/N) to not fall in love with him

Word count: 1913

Part. 1 Part.2 Part. 4

"Here" Tommy poured a glass of whiskey and gave it to you, watching with his eyebrows raised while you drank all the liquid in a matter of seconds and returned the glass to him, to be filled again, not even flinching by the strong taste. "Wanna tell me what's going on, (Y/N)?" the dark haired then asked, turning around to refill your drink. 

"I'm fucking stupid, that's what's going on" you said with your eyes fixed on the floor, while passing your fingers on the arm of the chair you had seated on as soon as you both had walked into that room of his house and he closed the door behind you two. 

Tommy sighted, then turned around and gave you the glass of whiskey again. While he saw you take this time only a sip, he knealed in front of you so that your eyes were on the same height. He inspected your face little by little, searching for the answers he wanted there, because he most times sucessed using that strategy. He knew you extremely well; maybe more than anyone else. You realized what he was thinking by the narrowing of his eyes and sighting, you tried to force a smile for him. 

"Everything's fine, Tommy. No need to worry about" you said, trying to hide your lie by taking another sip from the whiskey that had been burning your throat. It still burned less than the words that left your mouth during your argument with Michael. Suddenly you wondered what he had done. Was he still in the corridor you and Tommy had left him? Did he got back to the party and to that blonde girl? It was better, if you didn't knew. 

"You were crying, (Y/N). You never cry in public. And I always worry about you" he stated, touching your face with his right hand softly and you couldn't help but lean in to that touch that was always so comfortable. "It's something about Michael, isn't it?" he asked, and you felt your heart skip a beat on your chest. He noticed the shocking in your expression, then got up and walked to the chair that was in front of yours. Sitting down, he gave you a little smirk. "By the way you were arguing, anyone could see that you two had unfinished business"

"Great, I ruined your event with my screaming" you said before finishing the content of your glass again. Embarrassment took a hold of you, as well as guilt. Tommy had worked so hard for making that happen and you threw his work in the trash. 

"You didn't, it's everything ok. Polly is hosting the whole thing while I'm with you" he said and you felt relief fill every inch of you. You had ruined your night while screaming like that, not Tommy's. "And I think that deep down, the guests were kinda expecting a scene like that. After all..." 

"We are the Peaky fucking Blinders" you completed his phrase and he gave you a nod in agreement. You both set in there quietly for a few minutes that seemed like hours and after giving it some thought you realized that after all Tommy, was your best friend. He was the one you always could talk to about anything and everything. You loved him and if you lost him someday, it would break you so hard that you doubted that you would ever be able to rebuild. Saying to yourself that you owned him some explanation, you decided to tell him the truth. "You're right. About Michael. He's the reason I was... crying"

"Did he hurt you?" Tommy's voice was low and controled, but the threat behind it could easily be noticed. 

"Yes" you said with a laugh empty of any humor, playing distractedly with the glass that was still in your hands. You saw the way Tommy's expression had gotten immediately dangerous and you took a deep breath. "I mean, he didn't. Not physically anyway" getting up, you walked to the wooden stable that was on the center of the room and put the glass upon it. You heard footsteps and when you turned around, you saw the black haired man staring at you completely serious. 

"(Y/N) you have five minutes to tell me exactly what happened before I go downstairs and beat the shit out of Michael" he stated firmly and as much as you were angry at Michael and wanted him to feel some of the pain he had caused you, you knew that it wouldn't be fair to do that. 

"I like him, okay?" you said hesitantly, staring at Tommy who didn't move or said anything. You frowered your forehead at him. "You're not surprised?" 

"Your not as difficult to read as you think, (Y/N). For quite some time I have been noticing the way you acted around him; how you fancied the guy" Tommy admitted, and you felt ridiculous. It must have looked like you were completely stupid for liking someone who didn't gave a shit about you. You wished that no one else had noticed. 

"Well, even if the whole fucking neighborhood knew about how I felt, Michael didn't. He never realized, I guess anyway. So when I went to talk to Polly the other day about some advice..."

"You asked the mother of the guy you like for advice?" Tommy raised his eyebrows, momentarily seeming to forget the seriousness of the conversation and looking confused. 

"Don't judge me, I was desperate!" you replied, feeling extremely uncomfortable in your dress, like it was suffocating you. Add this with your hurt and anger, you almost wanted to rip out your own skin. "This stupid shit!" you screamed losing control and started taking off the dress angrily. 

"Ahn... (Y/N)?" Tommy kept his eyebrows raised, watching as you got completely out of of your dress and threw it away with your left hand. 

"What?" you putted your hands on your hips, now wearing only a bra and panties along with your high heels. Out of that black piece of clothing, you already felt better. Your mental state must have scared Tommy, because he didn't say more. And the fact that your relationship was so strong and genuine, didn't even made you bother about being almost naked in front of him. "Look Tommy, not much happened. Polly wasn't there in that night. Michael was. He kissed me and then left. And today, he kissed a rich blonde girl and I got pissed so that's why I was crying"

"Have you tried to speak to him?" Tommy seemed less stressed now, that he knew that Michael's actions weren't perverted or evil towards you. 

"What you saw down there is our way of trying to speak" you said sadly, because you knew that Tommy was right. The attempts of talking to each other normally had gone extremely wrong and if you guys could get to an agreement, to an understatement about not interfering in each other's lives anymore, maybe you both could move on. Even if you secretly didn't want to. 

"It'll be ok, little one. I promise" Tommy's voice was gentle and you were able to smile after hearing those words. 

"You know you can't promise me that. But thanks anyway, Tommy" you saw him looking back at you with a smile too on his lips and when a cold breeze entered the room through the nearest open window, you shivered. "Give me your suit"

"I knew you would ask me that" he laughed and then took off his suit, putting it on your shoulders next. Instantly, you felt warmer and safer. "I'll tell the maids to arrange a room for you to spend the night, ok?" you nodded and then after hugging you tightly for a minute he left, closing the door behind him. 

Alone for the first time since your argument with Michael, you thought about your words. His words. The hurt in his face. The sadness you thought that took a hold of your own features. In a twisted way, you had liked the fact that you two actually talked. Or tried to before starting to yelling. If things were more simple, you maybe could have a chance. Maybe. 

You were practically asleep when you heard knocking on the front door of your apartment. Even though it could be a strange thing to someone to be at your door on the middle of the night, it had happened before. Maybe Arthur had gotten drunk and your place was the nearest he could get to before passing out or maybe, Jon had a fight with Esme and wanted to crash in your home for the night. 

Wondering what of those things would be the one, you got up from your bed and walked to the front door wearing only your nightshirt. You opened the door and your eyes instantly widened when you saw Michael Gray standing on the corridor of the building, his eyes immediately fixing on your eyes. 

It had been five days since the whole argument in Tommy's house and since then, you hadn't seen each other. You took those days to think, to set your head in place and try to assimilate the fact that you wouldn't have him because he didn't want you. Simple as that. But now he was at your door, and all the emotions came rushing back like a hurricane. 

"What do you want?" your voice got out harsh, and your hand was gripping at the door firmly. You felt tempted to just shut it right on his face. His stupid beautiful face. You held back that urge though, accepting the possibility that he could be there for bussiness. 

"We need to talk" he replied, jaw clenched. The shadow of frustration could be seen on his features and it got you intrigued. 

"About?" you questioned, raising your eyebrows at him with that same harsh tone on your voice. 

"Don't play dumb, (Y/N). We need to speak about... us" he hesitated but completed his statement, taking his eyes out of you for only a second before turning them back at you. 

You couldn't help. You laughed. A genuine loud laugh that made him blush from embarrassment and something else. As soon as you were able to stop laughing, you gave him a serious look. "There is no us, Michael. And it's fun that in less than a week I got from bitch to dumb. Think I'm making progress on your raking" and with that you tried to close the door, but he pushed it with his hand and gave you the most fierce look he ever did. 

"Don't you close this door. We need to speak" he held it open. There were so many emotions expressed on his face at the same time that you couldn't even identify them. 

"What do you wanna say? You're planning on telling me how you fucked that blonde after the event? How she's perfect for you?" the irony was clear in your words and that made him lost control. 

With a hard push he opened completely the door and then got in your apartment, shutting it with a kick of his right foot. The door bang and you took a deep breath as he walked in your direction and stopped millimeters away. His breath on your face was hot and his smell of cigarettes and cologne never seemed so dangerous and so good.

"Now, we are going to talk"

[years-waiting]

3. Bölüm

I keep asking myself why I'm watching this drama, but then it comes a cute scene of Ferit and Ayşe together and I can't help myself but keep watching. What makes me question why I'm watching it is Azade hanım's character on the show. There's a word in my language that embraces the hatred I feel for this woman, "ranço" is a word that almost everybody in my country uses to call anybody who for no reason gets on your nerves of so much hatred you feel for them. It means hatred, disgust, loathing, antipathy, instant dislike for no apparent reason, etc. In resume, I can't see the face of Azade hanım because of so much "ranço" I have for her. I knew I didn't like from the very first episode, but right now I have very clear to me that it'll be difficult to keep watching every week with the bad deeds of this woman against Ayşe.

Ah! The fake-dating, no, the fake-marriage trope it's totally what's making me stay and watch every week. I mean, that scene of Azade hanım destroying Ayşe's plant was my last straw. I was there just saying out loud "Ferit, if you don't do something, I'm gonna do. I'm going to drop this show if you don't do something because I'll cancel you". You arrive home and your wife is in tears because her mother-in-law hurted her in a filthy way. YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! So he did, he said to her take her things and go back to İstanbul because she didn't deserve what his mother was doing with her. But there's another solution that in my opinion is better than her fleeing away. Why you don't get another house in Antakya for both of you to live Ferit? Do you have to live with your mother? You are a grown up, you can survive without her in you life (but I can't deny that Ayşe going back to Istanbul is not technically a bad solution). However, I have to admit that them living in another house would probably end with most of the drama. AND Ayşe can't get out of there, she has to stay for them to fall in love with each other (that's why I'm watching this show!).

So I'm being direct in saying that I'm not going to survive this dizi for too long, Azade will make me foam even more because she's certainly going to surprise me and do something much worse than what she did before. That's why I'm not fond of drama as much as comedy. In the romcoms I usually watch, they make me swoon and laugh, and in the end I'm happy with the result of it.

I think that's all for now!

[ramblingaboutthings]

The stars | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Word count: 2.7k (the longest I've ever written UwU)

Warnings: curse words because my Italian self doesn't have self control in this kind of things lmao. Also a little amount of angst and FLUFFFFFFFF.

A/N: I'm actually alive and I'm so proud of this, I hope you'll like it too!!

Summary: you think you could never stand a chance with James Potter but little do you know, he's just oblivious to the fact that he has stronger feelings than simple friendly love toward you.

The day had begun in the best way, you’d gotten an excellent mark in divination that you somehow found really difficult and boring. Then you went to have lunch, like, you were absolutely starving.

You’d usually sit with the marauders but today you weren’t in the mood. You sat with your group of friends instead.

You sat right beside Lily and you were talking about something you weren't really interested in, she giggled as she muttered something about Severus and blushed lightly.

You smiled widely when you realized that maybe she was starting to develop feelings.

Then your eyes traveled around the table only to find James already staring in your direction, well in Lily's direction actually. A piece of your heart shuttered.

"Y/n! Are you even listening?" Lily laughed and you shook your head.

"Sorry Lils I got caught up in my thoughts" you answered, suddenly feeling awkward.

"You like that idiot" she pointed out, smiling softly.

Your eyes widened at her statement, you looked back between her and James before looking away, suddenly finding the slytherin table interesting. You tried to change the subject, starting with the homework you had to do but Lily wouldn't budge.

"You like him don't you?" She asked again gaining a huff from you.

"Maybe, I mean he's cute, he's funny but he likes you not me. Who'd even like me? Look at me!" You said, feeling the tears that managed to escape from your eyes, on your face.

Lily smiled sadly.

"You'll never quit with that low self esteem, will you? You're beautiful, clever and if he doesn't like you for who you are then fuck him Y/n/n" she reassured you.

You looked again towards James, this time he was actually staring at you and as soon as he met your gaze he smiled mouthing a "why aren't you sitting with us?".

You shrugged "I'll see you later" you mouthed back.

Meanwhile Lily's beautiful smile now became a playful smirk." I think at least one time he has thought about the fact that he likes you, and not me" you gave her a small shake of your head, signaling her to stop. She just tilted her head to the side while you went back to your staring session. Eyes still watery.

“hey.” Sirius hit Remus lightly in the chest. “Look at Y/n.”

Remus followed his friend’s gaze, and his eyes widened when he saw you staring at James, furiously wiping at the tears rolling down your cheeks. You try to avoid their gaze, but they'd already noticed you “y/n, what happened?” Sirius mouthed, brown eyes searching yours with concern.

"Nothing" you answered.

“whats up?" James asked his two friends, noticing the worry in their faces. Then he met your gaze and crossed his arms, looking away, with an angry expression. Angry? Why would he be angry at you? You frowned.

You saw Sirius come up to you “Who do I need to beat up?” he asked.

You sniffled and rolled your eyes up to the ceiling, laughing dryly. “No one.”

“it's Prongs. Isn't it?”

"I said I'm fine Black!" you spatted.

“Hang on, (y/n), firstly you never said tha–”

“Y/n!” James’ cheerful voice called from behind you, and your eyes widened in surprise. “What’s up?” he asked, stopping next to you with a grin. That grin fell, however, when he noticed your red eyes and wet cheeks. He reached for you and inquires in a soft voice: “y/n, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I’ll see you guys later.” And, with that, you stepped past the two boys and disappear.

James’ wide eyes found Sirius’s. “Who do I need to beat down?” he asks gravely.

Sirius shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line. “Prongs, you are that stupid, you could fail a test on yourself.” He walked past James, bumping his shoulder against his as he went, and stormed off in the opposite direction you ran away to.

“James Potter!”

Despite his now sad mood, James’s head couldn't help but lift at the sound of Lily’s angry voice coming from beside him. “Ah, Lily” He smiled broadly and spun around, only to meet a hard slap to his left shoulder.“Ow–hey! What the fuck was that for?” he asked placing a hand on the spot she'd slapped him.

Lily gritted her teeth and poked a finger on his chest. “You, James Potter, are a real asshole.”

“What did I–”

“You need to stop chasing after me, I don't like you and I never will and think about the real girl you're in love with instead! Everyone has noticed James” the redhead hissed before running after you. Leaving James quite confused.

She found you on your bed, staring at the many sky maps you hung on your wall. She knew you'd been crying again.

"Y/n, he'll realize how good you are sooner or later" she whispered approaching you.

You rolled your eyes.

"As if" you laughed darkly.

Lily giggled "y/n, do you realize that with all those protective manners toward you, he can't see you only as a friend?"

"Can you stay with me? We don't have classes this afternoon, we could just chill here" you almost pleaded changing the subject of the discussion.

Lily smiled softly and nodded before jumping on your bed.

One hour later, the marauders were all reunited in their own dorm room. James was thinking about what Lily had said some moments before, but actually the real thing he couldn't bring himself to stop thinking about was your sad face. This image was like printed inside of his mind.

"Prongs, we're heading off to Y/n and Lily's room, do you want to come?" Remus asked suddenly.

James slowly nodded his head, now all he wanted to do was comfort you, all he wanted was to look into your eyes and make you smile, because it was like his favourite pastime, making you smile was like recieving a gift. You were a gift, a gift that the world decide to give him.

"James?" Remus snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah coming"

They sneakily made their way to the girls dorm, and when they finally got inside, you were done crying and was laughing at something that Lily'd said. James smiled at the scene.

"Hey girls! Y/n was in a bad mood so we decided to lift your spirits" Sirius exclaimed.

You gasped, as you didn't even hear the door open. Then your eyes met James' hazel ones.

"hey Y/n/n, is everything alright?" He asked you as he made his way to your bed.

"Yup, much better now" you instinctively hugged him, even though he was the cause of her previous sadness.

He smiled inhaling your scent and you did the same thing.

He sat on the bed and you laid on his lap.

The rest of the people smiled at each other with knowing looks.

You, oblivious to the many glances, quickly fell asleep lulled by James' heartbeat.

Lily rolls her eyes to the ceiling. “Merlin’s beard! You like her! Leave me the hell alone!" Lily whisper yelled.

"What are you talking about, Evans?" He asked, genuine confusion covering his face.

"You like your best friend, we've all noticed except you. Open your eyes, Prongs” And, with one last groan of frustration, Sirius knocked some sense into James

It hit him like a train, he liked you! Of course he did, how could've he been so dense? He'd actually liked you for a long time, every time you blushed, he smiled. Every time you would kiss him on the cheek, he'd even lightly blush.

Did you like him? He asked himself as his gaze settled on your graceful sleeping face. He would have never thought about it if Sirius hadn’t literally knocked the fact into his head. He finds himself going through all of his memories of you. You even gave him, -your crush- advice on how to win another girl over.

Oh, he really was stupid.

"Fuck, does she even like me back?" He whispered, gaining weird looks from Lily and Sirius which were seriously questioning his intelligence.

"Why do you think she was mad? She saw you staring in my direction, and all her hopes went down really quick" Lily explained with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

"I wasn't staring at you Lily, I was making sure she was okay, I didn't even notice the tears but I somehow knew something was off" James admitted.

Sirius giggled followed by Remus.

"I told you, you are some new kind of stupid" James stuck out his tongue at Sirius.

"I'm not stupid, just quite oblivious"

They continued to talk, not about you, but they kept whispering things to each other, trying not to wake you up.

Your cat -that you named Rigel after the star in your favorite constellation, Orion- jumped on the bed and curled up beside James. He liked him just as much as you did, and it made the boy laugh everytime you told him. But even that thing now made sense, you really loved him, like in the actual meaning of the word.

He slowly started to get uncomfortable in the position he was in, but he couldn't risk to wake you up, so he just stayed still, cuddling Rigel and still chatting with the others.

You woke up only two hours later, your hair sticking to your face. When you looked up as you rubbed your eyes, you blushed as the realization of who you had fallen asleep on, hit you.

“y/n?”

James’s grip around you tightened but you got up and took a few steps away from him. The sun now shone right on you, like it was some kind of sign for James, as if for the first time, he realized the fascinating way in which your eyes sparkled in the warm sunlight. “hey guys” you whispered.

The boy shakes his head and his eyes traveled around the room before setting back on you “I think we need to talk Y/n". You slightly panicked.

The others in the room smiled "we're going uhm- see you later" Remus announced awkwardly before they quickly walked out of the room.

“Then what do you want?” you ask, finally turning to face him. Your eyes were tired when they meet his and, even though they were still red from crying, at that moment, their beautiful e/c finally managed to make him fully realize the amount of love he felt for you. “Because if you’re here to tell me you are in love with Lily again, I don’t want to hear it.”

James shook his head. “I’m not here to say that.”

You blink in surprise. “Then what are you here to say?” you whisper.

James takes a deep breath and looks out of the small window. “Honestly, if it wasn't for Remus, Sirius and Lily I would've never realized but I like you Y/n/n. And I know you like me too” You studied him for a moment, not able to read his expression, and after a few moments of trying, you gave up with a sigh and looked away just before he spoke “I know I’ve hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. “Jam–”

“No, let me talk please.” He took my hand and shifted his body so he was facing you. “I’ve been so hung up on Lily that I haven't realized it was you I was only staring at, you're the only girl I give a fuck about. And I know I have been oblivious lately but I hope you’ll still give me a chance.”

The awkward silence nearly caused James a heart attack, and he sighed in relief when you looked up at him shyly. You'dnever been embarrassed in front of him but your feelings were now too exposed.

“I don’t want you to do this just because you found out. I don’t want a pity-date, James” you admitted quietly.

He shook his head. "It’s a you-are-my-best-friend-and-i-have-liked-you-since-4th-year date love.” you shivered at the nickname.

You pursed your lips and stared at him him intensely. His eyes shone through his glasses with nothing but honesty, and your heart fluttered in your chest. He was just offering you something with no tricks...Well that's new.

“Alright, Potter.” you smiled at him, still not fully realizing he liked you back.

James grinned sheepishly as he took your hand in his. “after dinner, I'll pick you up and the rest is a surprise”

You nodded and snuck closer to him, feeling his breath on your forehead. You liked the feeling he gave you, staying this close together. You felt his heart beating at a rate -a really fast rate- that matched yours.

"We should go to the others" James broke the silence, and you nodded in agreement.

You walked hand in hand through the halls of the school until you found the rest of the marauders and Lily sitting on the grass of the middle courtyard.

"Hey guys " Remus grinned at you two and when they noticed your intertwined hands. they all smirked.

"Have you got something to say?" Lily asked.

You blushed brightly and buried your face in James' chest while he wore his signature smirk.

"I asked her on a date" Lily squealed in response.

"Oh Merlin! I have to get you ready! When is it?" She asked excitedly.

James took that as a further confirmation of his dead feelings for the redhead, and he kissed your forehead as if he wanted to reassure you.

"Tonight and It's a surprise actually" James announced.

He held you like you were some kind of rare thing that could break at any moment, and you loved it.

You stayed like that untill it was time to go to dinner.

The great hall was already full of students and you decided, along with Lily, to sit with the marauders, so you could stay with James.

You sat across from him and you really tried not to stare at him, but you couldn't, it was stronger than you, and he of course noticed.

"Like what you see y/l/n?" You gasped at his sudden question, but still mimicked his smirk.

"Actually, yes"

The marauders started to fake their disgust while Lily laughed.

"Since when are you that bold Y/n?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, he just gets on my nerves sometimes" you answered grinning widely.

And you spent all dinner exchanging looks and bold remarks from you that left almost everytime James speechless.

"Go put something comfortable, I'm taking you somewhere you'll like" James said at the end, placing a kiss on your nose "be ready in 10, I'll pick you up from your room" he finished.

As soon as you got to your dorm, you suddenly felt nervous and started to search for something to put on, and you opted for a gryffindor hoodie and leggings just in time.

"Are you ready?" James asked after knocking at the door, in response you opened it.

"Let's go then" he took your hand as you walked toward the highest tower of the castle, you couldn't hide your smile as you walked up the stairs of the astronomy tower.

"Is this too simple? I mean I know you love space and all but maybe-"

"This is perfect Jamie, this is the idea I had of my first date, I love it" you interrupted him.

You sat on the floor and looked up.

"That is Orion, and there is Rigel, my cat" you chuckled as you explained pointing to the star.

"Right on the horizon you can spot Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky" James smiled while your eyes lightened up, they'd always sparkle when you started talking about space, and he could listen to you for hours.

"What star is that?" He asked pointing to a very bright spot in the sky.

"That's Venus James" you laughed playfully.

"How was I supposed to know?" He pouted.

When you looked at him you noticed how close you were, you could feel his breath on your lips.

His gaze traveled from your eyes to your lips and before you could even think straight he kissed you putting his hands on your waist he held you closer and closer until he lost his balance and fell on the ground, you on top of him.

He laughed breathlessly as you just laid your head on his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you" you suddenly said, as a bright blush crept onto your face.

"I know I'm love with you Y/n".

[starship-imzadi]

S5 E21 The Perfect Mate

I hate Ferengi.... They always seem to be a stand-in for the worst qualities for the sake of contrast. They act as the most greedy, sexist, and uncouth, people in the room so Starfleet looks sophisticated and progressive in comparison.

Sounds like Brent has a head cold

"not too close to mine" damn. Riker makes it clear he hates the Ferengi too.

Ferengi are never as stupid as they act but they're so annoying no one cares to pretend otherwise.

How did they learn about this cargo?

"have you had chance to see the dolphins yet? This is something you really don't want to miss" Dolphins? Quantum dolphins perhaps??

It's a really odd line....

It's Famke Janssen! You might know her as Jean Grey or the Phoenix in the X-Men film trilogy, in which Patrick Stewart was also cast as professor Charles Xavier.

Riker in the background is checking her out.

prevarication: to deviate from the truth

"I'm a gift" slight red flag. At least Picard and Riker see it.

So they have male metamorphs...but this story is about a female one, why? Don't we already have enough women who change to be what a man wants, without the man reciprocating the same ability to change?

"oh, think you're more empathic than you admit, at least when it comes to women"

"i think you have me at a disadvantage"

Okay, hold, stop for a moment and appreciate the restraint Riker shows here. This woman becomes the most arousing and attractive she can possibly be for whatever man she is with, and Riker turns her down.

"Riker to bridge. If you need me I'll be in holodeck 4" so clearly this is meant as a joke. How dirty that is, is up to your mind. Maybe he's going to a jazz club, maybe he's going fishing. Why the holodeck instead of his quarters?....

Yasss Beverly!! Call out that misogyny! But also, I freaking love that Beverly and Jean Luc share breakfast.

Aww, poor Picard. That might have been a little harsh. But he takes it well. It makes me glad Beverly is in his life. (That scene makes me want a croissant 🥐)

Her Dutch accent is surprising soft considering this was her first TV role and second role as an actor.

"And now, to this day, I’m not comfortable with how fast television and the writing of it changes. So every night or morning before we’d start shooting they’d have new pages for me. And my English wasn’t that good at the time… and I had all these strange things to say (laughs). It was strange for me, and very difficult for me to memorize, but it was probably normal in the world of Star Trek. So I was very nervous about the entire experience, but it was good."

- Famke Janssen startrek.com

"I'm independent, forceful, brilliant, and adventurous. Exactly as you would have me be, captain." This is interesting because Picard's sexuality always seems to be overshadowed by Riker's, and while Riker certainly seems more comfortable with his sexuality, Picard, in equal measure, has his own, different preferences in a companion. The difference is Riker has explained what he wants to a few different people (for example in "The Vengeance Factor" and "The Outcast") but no one asks Picard his preferences, and he is most likely less forthcoming. So here we learn what Picard really wants, but from someone else who can read him, proverbially, like one of his beloved books.

Star Trek's other cultures....have such a distinct flair. They kind of all look the same but I'm not sure which elements are cause for that stylistic consistency.

"every man on the ship will be fighting over her"...so, aside from the obvious message about women conforming to men's desires, there's a fair amount sexism in the depiction of the male reaction to her. Every man might find her attractive but in declaring that every man will be fighting over her suggests men have too little control over their sexual desires. Riker's previous reaction to some extent would seem intended to display just how alluring she is, but he also shows restraint. Plus, "fighting" over her suggests there's a prise to be won, her. So all of these men think "winning" a fight against his peers would be enough to claim her as his own?

Data reaffirming his android-ness

I understand that this scene in ten-forward is meant to display Kamala's ability to adapt to the men around her, but the growling at Worf cracks me up. Also, in the midst of her adapting to the men around her, and their enthusiasm for her, she's an absolute flirt. Does she have no control over her own behavior either? She can read the men around her but are her subsequent actions involuntary?

"a man of deep passion and conviction. So controlled, so disciplined."

From this performance I wouldn't guess that Picard would go on to play the flute...

Fact I forgot about Picard: he took piano lessons as a child

"do you find me unattractive?" surely she would know if he did.

Woah....so the music as Kamala walks towards Picard right before she says "in a day I will bond with a man I've never met" is a variation on the theme played in "The Host" as Beverly looks across ten forward at Odan/Riker.

When she says "please don't leave" it's so heart-wrentchingly earnest.

Their relationship seems very genuine and tender.

I've seen some fans ask if Picard and Kamala slept together and I see no reason to think so, in fact I have reason to think the opposite. They're relationship, though they are attracted to each other, is not about sex. The intimacy they develop is specifically non sexual and that's what makes it important. For so many other men she is a sexual object of desire, and because Picard refuses to see her this way or treat her this way, he is who she wants to be with; not as an emotional, passion driven decision, but as an active, conscious choice. The one event her entire life as been prepared for, her "destiny" is undone because for the first time she has been afforded agency. (Also, until the next morning Picard is oblivious to the fact that she has bonded with him)

There is a sort of parallel between Picard and Beverly with Riker and Troi. Regardless of the shifting winds of romance, they are each good and supportive friends to each other.

I really wish Troi had been in this episode. An interaction between her and Kamala could have been really interesting.

"I like myself when I'm with him." This is actually some of the best advise for relationships: find people that being with, encourages you to be the person you want to be. (Not people who will fix you, people who naturally bring out the qualities you want in yourself.)

[thatsweetsexypsychotroyotto]

I'm Not a Bad Person- Chapter 6

SUMMARY: Troy Otto does have feelings you know. He's in the process of figuring them out; especially when it comes to his childhood friend, Jaymie. Whatever they are, they're rooted deep, and they're growing.

WARNINGS: Language, Warped thoughts, Violence.

WORD COUNT: Fuck if I know.

PAIRING: Troy Otto x OFC

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My plan is to follow along with the events of season 3, but with my OFC involved. I'll veer off plenty of times and probably switch shit up completely. Not sure yet. We'll be exploring different characters' perspectives throughout the series. I'm not great at this writing thing but I try my best. Hope you like it enough. All characters except my OFC don't belong to me.

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Chapter 6

(Jaymie's POV)

The next day, a memorial service was held to honor Charlene- Jeremiah's goddaughter. She was the pilot of the helicopter that Jake, Alicia, Luciana, and Travis were on. She survived the crash, but the dead got her on the way back to the ranch.

To be honest, I didn't like Charlie. She was such a bitch to me. It was because her dad had an affair with my mom, and her parents split up. So she took her anger out on me.

One particular day she was talking shit; telling our mutuals I'd end up a whore just like my mother. That was stupid of her, mostly because Troy happened to be walking by. He turned and made a beeline straight to Charlene and decked her; no questions asked. I laughed my ass off when I found out. Wish I could have seen it first hand.

Naturally, Troy got in sooo much trouble. Mainly because he hit a girl. Pretty hypocritical of Jeremiah, but he was a "Do as I say, not as I do," type of parent. So, Troy was grounded for a month. That didn't stop me from sneaking in to the Otto's house every single night though. I'd take him desert and we'd stay up till 3 or 4 in the morning playing cards and board games.

Anyway, after Charlie's service, it was lunch time. I worked the line with my friend Gretchen, scooping globs of mac and cheese onto everyones' trays. Madison and Alicia were approaching, and I heard a community resident giving them a hard time. I felt bad for them, until Alicia said that people should be harassing Troy instead of them. Madison responded, 'I think they would be if they knew what he had done.' I know what Troy did was fucked up. That won't stop me from defending him though. Nothing will. I guess that makes me fucked up too; and I'm fine with that.

Both Madison and Alicia stopped abruptly, making eye contact with me. They realized I was serving, and that I most likely heard what they said. I tried not to let it show that it bothered me, but I know my eyes looked sad.

Gretchen broke the awkward silence with her subtle humor and kind words. Then she invited Alicia to attend one of her "Bible studies" (which was actually just a handful of our friends getting together to drink and smoke pot). There was no hiding Alicia's reluctance, but Madison practically made the decision for her to go. I'm grateful for it, because I need to figure Alicia out. Is she trustworthy? Could I see myself becoming friends with her?

***

About 2 hours later...

(Jake's POV)

How am I going to convince Troy that he needs to stay away from the Clarks? Ever since T.E. began he's been harder to control. I need Jaymie's help on this. She's the only person who has more influence on him than I do.

I find the two of them working together on mending one of the crops' fences. Both their faces are plastered with smiles. They kneel, preparing to wrap extra barbed wire around the bottom of a post. I can't make out what they're saying, but Jaymie throws her head back with a vivacious laugh. She nudges Troy with her shoulder, and he retaliates with a playful shove, causing her to topple over. She counterattacks by throwing a handful of dirt at him. They're honestly adorable.

It's a heartwarming sight to watch my brother in normal-human-being mode; and genuinely happy. Jaymie's good for him. Except on occasion she tends to enable his psychotic side. Though I'll admit that many times his semi-sociopathic behavior has been in her defense. He saw nothing wrong with it when he ki- ...never mind. I don't want to think about that. Anyway, the pros still outweigh the cons by a long shot, and they really are a good match. I kind of thought they'd have gotten together by now.

Troy offers Jaymie a hand and pulls her back to a kneeling position. She tries to wipe the dirt off that she threw at him, but she's actually making it worse since her hands are covered in soil. They're still laughing when I reach them.

Troy notices my presence and his smile falters slightly. "The boar's back. Keeps digging up the fence posts to get to the cabbage. Could use an extra pair of hands tracking it tonight."

May as well cut to the chase. "Stay away from Madison and her family."

"They're my friends."

"They came here under my invite. They trust me."

"They came here not to get eaten. I wouldn't flatter yourself."

Jaymie snickers at Troy's response, then looks at me with a grin she tries to suppress.

"Yeah, but they're staying cause I said I'd protect them- from you.

"And how are you going to do that?"

I knew this would be difficult. "Please don't do this, Troy. Please. I'm the one who still believes in you."

"Well I don't need you to anymore."

"Yeah, you do. If the ranch knew what you really are-"

"And what am I Jake?"

I look to Jaymie for an assist, but she's clearly upset with me. She stands and stalks toward me, grabbing my arm to pull me away from the scene. "What the hell would you say that for?!" She scolds me quietly.

"You know he broke in to Madison's cabin and threatened Nick?"

"And you're dumb enough to believe she's not over exaggerating?"

"Do you have any idea what he was doing at the depot? Do you?" Her expression is unreadable. "He was murdering people, Jaymie; timing how long it took them to change."

She sighs. "Yeah, yeah I know."

"Then why are you standing here upset with me?" I don't understand. She's acting like it was no big deal.

There's venom in her response. "Because of what you said to him back there, about what he is. You act like he's some kind of monster, Jake. He's your brother! Why would you say that?!"

I cannot believe what I'm hearing right now. So much for getting Jaymie on my side. I walk passed her and reapproach Troy. "Do you really think you were helping those people out at the depot?"

"I think I was helping all of us."

Alright. This is going nowhere. Let's try a different angle: "Troy, when Dad's gone, this is all on us. We have to take care of this place. We have to lead."

"Together." His tone sounds incredulous.

"Yeah. But I need you to do something for me. I need you to stay away from the Clarks. Do you hear me?"

"Yep. I hear you."

"Do you mean it?"

"I always mean it, Jake."

There's nothing more I can say. I turn to leave, and as I pass Jaymie, I beg her in a commanding tone, "Please help me with this. I need you on my side. Troy needs you on my side. He just doesn't realize it." She narrows her eyes at me with annoyed inquisitivity. "Just, think about it, alright?"

***

(Troy's POV)

Jaymie's so pissed off at Jake. She's always got my back. It doesn't matter who it is or what it's about. I know she doesn't agree with everything I've done. She does try and steer me in a different direction sometimes. I don't listen to her as much as I probably should, but whatever I end up doing, she never ever judges me. She's the only one. God, I love that girl... Wait, what?

"You alright?"

"Huh?" I didn't even notice she was by my side again.

"Forget what Jake said."

"Wasn't even thinking about it."

"Good." She gets back to helping me with the barbed wires, in silence, until, "Maybe we should both avoid Nick and Madison. Just for now?"

"Nah, I'm gonna have Nick help out with the boar tonight." I feel her looking at me. "It'll be fine, Jayms."

She considers my words for a moment then nods. "Alright. Well, I gotta get ready for Gretchen's Bible study. I'm gonna try and get to know Alicia; see what I think of her."

I give her a half-hearted smirk. "Have fun with that." I'm just bummed out she's leaving.

"I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Later, Jayms." I watch her walk away, lost in the thought I had just a minute ago.

*******

[windless-hurricane]

Pennywise and the Dancing Girl

Chapter 1: The Shadow Girl

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SUMMARY: At the moment, I want this to be solely mysterious. I will say though that the "Shadow Girl" isn't who she seems and this will eventually become a Henry x OC (or reader) fanfic.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Before I begin, this story takes place in the 2017 IT universe. I also shifted some pieces of information around. So before I'm scolded for inaccuracies, I'll say them now. First off, I combined the Derry Middle School and High School. I wasn't sure if that was the case in the movie, but it wasn't stated. Nevertheless, I will still refer to it as Derry High. The main character is 14 and a freshman (going on sophomore). The entire Losers Club will be in 8th grade (going on to be freshmen) and all 13. The Bowers Gang are all sophomores (going on juniors) and 15, excluding Henry who is 16.

WARNINGS (for the entire series): Explicit language, violence, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, some sexuality possibly, and some underage drinking and drug use.

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

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It was the last day of school. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't somewhere near excited. I knew it wasn't the last day of school altogether, but it would definitely be a step up from my current status as a freshman. All 8th graders dream of becoming freshmen; but once they realize the difficulties of dealing with upperclassmen, they want to join them. That had been the same mindset for me. Not only was I freshman, I was a transferee. That normally wouldn't be such a big deal, but it was at this school.

See, Derry High wasn't a typical high school. It included middle school as well. So, almost all the children here were attending this school for half their lives. They started in 6th grade and ended as seniors. Everyone knew everybody. Due to that, I thought I'd become a perfect candidate for teasing. I was practically fresh meat. However, that didn't happen. Why? Because I was barely noticeable. I kept to myself, hardly spoke a word to anyone, and moved swiftly through the halls like a shadow, avoiding certain people. It soon had become an objective to avoid four sophomores in particular: Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, Victor Criss, and Reginald "Belch" Huggins.

They were douchebags who got a kick out of tormenting anyone they saw below them. As a result of their animosity, even the juniors and seniors were afraid of them. You never messed with the "Bowers Gang" as they called themselves. I, a rarity, was not afraid of them and never would be. I just wanted to stay the shadow that I liked being and it became a promise to myself.

I kept to that promise for the entire year and now all I had to do was get through this day like any other. Then, it would be summer vacation, which was full of reading and...reading. I didn't have any friends, but I was satisfied with that. It was better to not get too attached to people you would end up leaving. In a way, that was my curse: the inability to care for anyone because you are not worth caring for. But it would be ok.

I walked through the front doors of the school, clutching the straps to my bag. Other students were already situated inside, engaging in morning chatter and shenanigans. I...went straight to my locker. I knew I had to empty it out and it would be better to do it now than later. So, I put in the combination and got to work. I wasn't necessarily the neatest, but it didn't look like the aftermath of a hurricane. Just messy. There were notebooks, textbooks, and a bunch of scattered and crumbled pieces of paper. It didn't take long to stuff these into my bag and throw what was left away. I closed my locker with a slam, but it didn't echo like it normally would because of background conversation.

I glanced around and my eyes ending up following the scene of two boys running away in the direction opposite to mine. Moments after, Henry Bowers and his gang of misfits were in the shot. He had an apparent smirk on his face. Probably from gloating because of the amount of power he had over the kids here. The thought of it was enough to make me roll my eyes; but I continued to watch, seeing if he would do anything else. He didn't. Just as I was about to turn away, his eyes met mine. He knew I had been staring and didn't have the intention of letting me go.

His eyes were crystal blue and they contradicted mine: my chocolatey brown. However, they still managed to be darker than mine and mine brighter than his. He didn't hold any expression in his face and neither did I. It was just blank staring. This wasn't the first time we did this. Occasionally throughout the year, we'd find each other's eyes, but never did anything about it. He didn't know me and he assumed I didn't know him. We had never been in the same vicinity as each other because if he was ever too close, I would've found a way out. All we had was this.

I hated to admit it, but he was quite pretty to look at. It didn't throw my hormones out of whack or anything. I stared at him because of his eyes. His eyes were dark, beautiful, and so familiar to me. I couldn't put my finger on it. It seemed I had looked into those eyes even before I knew him. There was something that intrigued me about them. I knew there was something hidden there. Even if I already had an idea, I longed to know myself.

I gulped out of my trance and released the handle to my locker. I stared just a bit longer until I turned away, losing sight of him and those eyes. Who would've known that days later Henry would tell me himself that he saw me as this mysterious girl that he wanted to crack. A girl that actually drew him in.

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I was able to make it through three classes of Algebra, English and History. Since it had been the last day of school, we hardly did anything. There was clearly no homework to assign or assignments to finish. It was either a free for all with limited volume or we watched a movie on the projector. I was only interested in the movie. Currently I had one more class until lunch and no doubt, it was going to be the same as the others. It was actually quite a relief. Relaxing felt...nice. It nearly brought a smile to my face before I was interrupted.

My head snapped up on impulse as I heard a loud smack echo through the hallway. It didn't startle me, but it certainly caught my attention because before I knew it, I was rounding the corner quickly with a newfound purpose. It was a boy and he was lying on the ground. Getting a clearer shot, I saw that it was Eddie Kaspbrak, the local hypochondriac. I never knew him on a personal level, but I always saw him around. As you can tell, I knew a lot more about him than he did me. That's how it usually was with people. I knew along with him being a hypochondriac, he was a germaphobe who constantly expressed his paranoia to his friends. Other than that, he was quite funny and would never shut up about the evils of sickness and blessings of cleanliness. I sometimes found it rather cute.

He was also a favorite plaything of the Bowers Gang, along with the rest of his friends, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, and Richie Tozier. I saw them around quite often too, either goofing off or arguing. I wonder where they were to have left Eddie alone. To have left him alone with Bowers and the dick squad. Maybe he was just unlucky. Henry had been manhandling Eddie's fanny pack and dumping its contents onto the floor beside him. I could only assume Eddie tried getting it back, but was only met with a shove to the ground. All I did was stare. It seems that's all I was good for.

Even though they deserved a good beating, I never interfered. It was part of the promise and it hadn't been difficult to maintain until now. I nearly wanted to break it. I don't know why, but the feeling was there. It wasn't enough to push me though as the fanny pack was already empty. I watched as Henry threw the pack at Eddie's face and mouthed something that I couldn't make out. Most likely it was some humiliating insult. I looked to Eddie and his expression killed me. Was it - sadness? Anger? Disappointment? It could be helped.

I walked over quietly and squatted down near him as he sat up. He gave me a shocked and questioning look before I began to gather his belongings into the fanny pack. He wasn't moving or saying anything, just watching like I had been moments ago. There was an inhaler, a few containers of pills, bandage. I guess this also served as a small first aid kit. Nice. I stood up and glanced around, making sure I collected everything. I had, expect for Eddie. I zipped up the pack before reaching my hand out to him. His expression managed to change. Why was he looking at me like that? It's like I was some miracle. Then, he looked to my hand and I smiled softly,

"Don't worry. I just came from the bathroom. It's clean."

His gaze switched between my face and hand until he finally took it. His was oddly soft. I helped him up gently and let it go as soon as he was up.

"Um, here," I muttered out, handing him his pack. He was still staring at me and finally, he snapped out of it. He took it quickly.

"T-thanks...um..." he cocked an eyebrow.

"Emma," I finished. "Emma Gray."

"Thanks, Emma." Red found its way onto his face. Was he really blushing?

"It's no problem. No one should face a jagoff alone." He smiled and it made me smirk. I reached into the side pocket of my bag and pulled out my mini bottle of hand sanitizer, showing it off to him. "I noticed you were almost out and you're definitely going to need a lot more to get rid of the stench of Bowers and his goons." I breathed out a laugh. "Here." I handed it to him and he took it almost joyfully.

I smiled completely and for once, it felt real. However, it was short lived. The bell rang.

"Shoot," I groaned. "We should get to class, like, now. It was nice talking to you. See you around, Eddie." I know I didn't give him time to respond, but there wasn't time for a response. I turned around and headed the opposite direction to class.

(EDDIE'S P.O.V.)

"Wait," I called out, but she was already gone.

"Damnit." How did she already know my name? I looked at the bottle she gave me and her name was written across the label in black marker. Her handwriting was beautiful. I let my thumb run over her name as I smiled to myself.

"Emma - Emma Gray."

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(BACK TO EMMA'S P.O.V.)

I made it through Biology and as expected, we watched a movie - a real boring one about the inner mechanisms of a cell. It was over and time for lunch. I was looking forward to it because of what I packed today. If I did it right, it was going to be delicious. I began to fantasize about the greatness of my meal until I was forcefully pulled out of it. Could the world just not leave me to my mind today? Geez.

It was a noise and a deafening one at that. It came from down the hall and it was loud enough to make me wince, slight pain being brought to my ears. Who was it this time and why do they keep interrupting me? Thinking about it more, should I even ask? Knowing this school and its students, it was without a doubt Bowers. Did I want to find out? No. Would I inevitably end up finding out? Yes. This was the only way to the damned cafeteria.

I inched slowly down the hall, not in any rush to get an answer. I wasn't a nosy person. I actually considered myself quite considerate of other people's business. Then, I heard whimpering. I rolled my eyes harshly as I quickened my pace. What's wrong with you, Emma? Why are you being so interactive today? Why the hell do you even care? No one else in this god forsaken school does, why should you? Don't you remember the promise? You're too good for this, but maybe there was a reason not to be too good. Maybe it was Eddie and his call for help.

I rounded the corner and it wasn't Eddie, loosing a good amount of motivation. It was Ben Hanscom, the other new kid. Chubby, adorable, vulnerable, and being pushed up against the lockers by Bowers while his goons watched in amusement. I scoffed. This was the second time today. Was this really his way of celebrating the last day of school?

"Hey!" Oh, Emma. What the hell are you doing? You know you could care less.

All five boys turned their attention towards me with different expressions on each of their faces. Ben's eyes were pleading and hopeful while he was completely red in the face. Patrick was smirking creepily and it was enough to make me shudder. Victor and Belch actually held a similar look that reeked of 'Who the hell is this girl?' For the main star, he just looked pissed.

"The fuck do you want," he questioned deeply, his eyes peering into me.

"For you not to be a conniving dickhead," I stated proudly, stopping in front of them with my arms crossed. I don't know where this surge of confidence was coming from, but I kinda liked it.

"The fuck did you just say to me," he let go of Ben and started lurking towards me. This was the perfect chance for him to get away. The boys were entirely focused on me. I looked passed Henry's shoulder and my eyes met Ben's. He was terrified and astonished. I nodded my head up slightly, gesturing for him to go. He didn't get it the first time; but after repeating it, he got it and ran away. I looked back to Henry,

"You heard me." This is the closest I've ever been to him. We were nearly a foot apart. He was significantly taller than I was, not a giant, but taller. Had surprisingly muscular arms and I never noticed the upturn of his nose before. He broke the distance with one more step. I wanted to step away because of the awkwardness, but I also didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I simply kept my arms crossed and craned my neck up to look at him. He did the opposite with his neck, but also crossed his arms. Maybe this was a way of establishing dominance.

"I don't think I heard you quite right. Mind repeating what you said," he pushed. He was trying to scare me, but I don't scare easy.

"I said, I don't want you to be a conniving dickhead."

"I don't care about what you want," he retorted.

"You're the one who asked, honey." He let out a breathy laugh.

"No one gets away with talking to me like that, sweetheart."

"I think I just did."

"I like her," a voice called out. I soon realized it belonged to Patrick. Shame because I didn't like him. "What're we going to do with her, Henry?" Henry opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to walk away and enjoy myself a lovely meal in the cafeteria, while you four stand around and play with each other's dicks. And then you're never going to bother me ever again. Got it? Ok." I moved to walk past him, but he grabbed my bicep instead.

"It's not that easy," he told me, squeezing roughly. I yanked my arm away harshly, catching him off guard.

"It is that easy because I'm not afraid of you, Henry," I let out through gritted teeth. With that, I pushed past him, hitting my shoulder with his purposely.

(HENRY'S P.O.V.)

Patrick scoffed, "You're just going to let her get away with that? She deserves to be taught a lesson to." I agreed. I completely agreed, but she wouldn't be easy.

"I know," is all I managed to say before I turned to face them. "Do any of you know her?" They all shook their head uselessly, causing me to roll my eyes.

Vic was the only one to speak,

"I know she's a freshman, just not the name." I nodded,

"Lets get outta here." I walked ahead, knowing they would automatically follow. It was that girl. She knew my name, but I didn't know hers. It bothers me, but a lot more than it should. How could I not know the name of a girl like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THAT IS THE END OF CHAPTER 1. Hopefully you enjoyed it! This is the first chapter of a definite series :)