#this series got me out of the biggest reading slump.

[motherfeyre-archeron]

"Reading is so calming and good for anxiety "

Have you read the Throne of Glass series?

[themyscirah]

Does anyone know if there was simonjess crumbs in the justice league book at the time or is it like just in their solo (meaning I need to reread that book again which I was already planning on doing but like still)

[cinnamostar]

seven dates to fall in love

part two. part three. part four. part five. part six coming soon.

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 4.3k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn (?!), cursing, one gorey joke thing, arguing, they;re each other's biggest haters, let me know if i missed anything !!

a/n : this is part one of a possible mini series! not sure how many parts this will be, but let me know what you think <33!! likes, reblogs, and feedback is always appreciated. this is supposed to be an uncomfortable read so i hope i got the vibe down LMAO this is also more to set the scene/story so not much going on in this part...

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Tears rolled down your cheeks as Hyunjin cupped your face, lips trembling as your doe eyes looked into Hyunjin’s. His hands gently rested on your cheek, his palms cool to the touch in contrast to your warm tears. His eyebrows furrowed in concern as his thumb gently caressed your cheek in an attempt to soothe your broken heart, yet his eyes lacked any emotions, no love to be found behind his cold, dark eyes. His body was stiff and uncomfortable, his movements almost robotic as he tried to lean closer to your face, yet all you could do was roll your eyes and sigh, as you braced yourself for what was next.

“Cut!” yelled the director furiously, a frown painted on his face, “This is ridiculous! We are never going to finish filming if you two can’t act out a simple kiss scene with each other.”

Hyunjin and you instantly jumped away from each other, not missing the chance to glare at the other as the director chastised you both.

“You two are amazing actors, that’s why I picked you both for these roles, I’ve seen you both act these kinds of scenes before, but my god, do you two lack chemistry,” ranted the director, his face reddening in frustration, “I get you two don’t like each other, but your entire job is to act like it for a bit. If you guys can’t solve this, then one of you is getting kicked off the project and being replaced.”

The last sentence caused you both to snap your heads towards him, eyes widened in disbelief as you scoffed, “It’s not my fault he doesn’t know how to fucking act properly! He’s the one who is messing up the scenes,” pointing your finger accusingly towards Hyunjin.

Hyunjin crossed his arms defensively, venom lacing his words as he spat with incredulity, “Me? Please, I should be getting paid more for having to pretend to be in love with that face of yours.”

You turned to Hyunjin once more, your hands balling into a fist as you opened your mouth to speak, but you were quickly cut off, “Save it, I don’t have time to listen to your childish arguments anymore. I will give you guys one week to figure this out, and if you are not able to get through this scene, consider it over for one of you,” promptly spoke the director before turning to the crew, “Everyone, go home. We’ll come back in a week from now and hopefully we will have something to work with.”

As everyone began to shuffle off set, you stomped your way to the dressing room, wanting nothing more to get away from Hyunjin at that moment as a rageful fire burned inside of you. You slammed the door open as you slumped in your seat, seething as you remembered Hyunjin’s words and how unlucky you were that he had to be your costar. You sighed as your manager entered right after you, a serious look taking over his features, “Y/N…”

“I know, I know!” you groaned, rubbing your face with your hands out of frustration, “I know a lot rides on this project and I promise I am trying my best to work with him, but he makes it so difficult too!”

Your manager, Chan, gave you a sympathetic look while shaking his head, “Well, you two are going to need to get over your differences somehow. This will look really bad for you if you get kicked off and you will be less likely to get any other roles in the future,” he murmured, “I will… talk to Hyunjin’s manager and see if we can figure something out, okay?”

You removed your hands from your face, your apologetic eyes meeting Chan’s, “I’m sorry, he just really knows how to get under my skin.”

“It’s alright, we’ll work something out. I’m not letting you lose this opportunity,” he promised before stepping out of the room, presumably to meet Hyunjin’s manager.

Sighing once more, you recalled the day you met Hyunjin on the set of another project two years ago. Initially, you both seemed to get along really well with each other and had great chemistry on camera, as you each were playing two side characters that had a small romance flourishing in the film. Yet, somewhere along the line, your relationship with Hyunjin soured out of nowhere, him suddenly being cold with you and making snide remarks every chance he had. It created such an uncomfortable work environment, you almost considered dropping acting altogether, afraid to encounter other similar characters like him. Luckily, Chan had convinced you otherwise, reassuring you he would do everything in his power to avoid any projects with him in it and also insisting your talents would go to waste if you let one guy ruin it all. Besides, you loved acting and you were slowly making your dreams come true. Why would you ever let Hyunjin of all people ruin it for you?

Ever since then, you despised Hyunjin due to his treatment of you and whenever you did have the misfortune of running into him, you did your best to keep it curt and cordial, never lingering around too long. He seemed to be on the same page as you, but the look on his face spoke of every nasty thought he was holding back on, and you hated him for it.

And while Chan did hold up on his end of his promise, it all came crashing down at this latest project. This was an offer neither you or Hyunjin could resist, especially when the writers, producers, and director personally approached both your managers and offered the role to you directly, plopping the opportunity right in your lap. The writers really wanted you both to be the leads, believing you two were perfect for the roles and had even seen that one film project you and Hyunjin did years ago, which unfortunately set their expectations extremely high, which led to the disaster you two are currently in.

It was impossible to say no to them, especially when they went out their way to contact you, and the script was great, it seemed like something you would have so much fun filming it, yet Hyunjin was quick to suck out all the joy from it.

You tried, you really tried to be as professional as possible with Hyunjin, and filming went pretty well the first few days. In fact, it may have gone a little too well that you both left the entire staff speechless after filming an argument scene between the two main characters. So much so, that the director applauded at how real you two were able to portray the scene, even bringing him to tears as he beamed proudly at you two, assuring him that he had made the perfect casting decision. Little did anyone know, you and Hyunjin’s scripted argument was not acting at all, but was a reflection of how you felt about each other. The rageful yelling, the resentful expressions, the improvised insults, and emotions were all entirely real - there was no need for acting when you both loathed one another.

Once it was time to finally start filming the romantic elements, the prospects of this being the next greatest show was squandered instantaneously by the painful awkwardness between you and Hyunjin. And to be honest, it was mostly Hyunjin who was tripping up during these scenes, making anyone who witnessed his weak attempts of being romantic with you cringed due to how much he struggled to even look at you and treat you like a person. Every now and then, you’d find yourself breaking character, but for the most part you were able to get through your lines pretty convincingly. Although, for some reason, Hyunjin was having an incredibly difficult time completing most of his lines and struggled keeping that abhorrent scowl off his face. Yet, even though you had managed to do quite well, you were also being punished by Hyunjin’s ineptitude. 

How on Earth was this supposed to all be resolved in one week? This was a two year long feud that was not simply going to disappear over the course of the week, but you knew both of you were too competitive to let this project go. Somehow, it would just have to work out, but it was a matter of how. As you lost yourself in thought, the door to the room opened once more with a nervous Chan standing at the entrance.

You raised your eyebrows in concern as you examined Chan’s anxious body language, “What happened?”

He gently closed the door behind me, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, “So… I talked to the producers and Hyunjin’s manager…”

You nodded your head, encouraging him to continue, “Okay, go on. What did they say?”

“They’re really upset and disappointed, as they had really high expectations and now they've decided that they’ll just replace both of you if next week doesn’t go well.”

“What?!” You jumped from your seat in shock, no longer having the possible safety of remaining on the project to back you up.

“And I don’t think I need to tell you how much worse this will be for both your public images,” Chan spoke nervously, almost as if he was dreading to share the rest of the conversation with you, “So, Changbin and I spoke, and as both your managers, we think you two need to do something to get over this bump.”

Your eyes narrowed as you tried to decode Chan’s words, “Uh huh, which means what exactly…?”

“You’re really not going to like this, I’m really sorry, I tried to think of other solutions, b-”

“Please, Chan, just spit it out already.”

Chan sighed, “Well, Changbin and I think the best way you guys can learn to recreate that kind of romantic chemistry is by, well… going on dates this next week? You know, learn to get used to being romantic with each other so it's easier to act it out on camera.”

Your jaw dropped as your eyes bored into Chan’s as annoyance made its way into your body, “No, absolutely not! I want nothing to do with that man, that sounds like a terrible idea!” you exclaimed, your face contorting into a frown as your voice grew louder.

Chan lifted his hands before him in an attempt to fan the flames of your anger, “Y/N, I know, I know, but this is the best we got for now! Do you have any other better ideas?”

Your shoulders slumped in defeat as you shook your head, “No, but… That just sounds like a week of pure torture!” you whined, Chan’s face dropping into an apologetic expression.

“Just promise me you will try your best? It’s only for a week, and then all you will have to do is get through the rest of filming.”

“I guess,” you grumbled, turning your back to Chan as you ran your hands through your hair, “Let’s just hope Hyunjin isn’t too much of a pain in the ass.”

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The next day rolled around as you waited outside of your apartment building with a miffed expression on your face, tapping your feet impatiently as you pulled out your phone to check the time. 

7:10pm.

Great, Hyunjin was now ten minutes late to pick you up for your first oh-so practice dates. You felt yourself grow angrier as the minutes passed, your veins burning hot as you contemplated going back inside and calling Chan to yell at him how this idea was never going to work, but before you could, a black car with tinted windows pulled up next to you. The window on the passenger side rolled down, revealing an upset Hyunjin in the driver’s side who called out to you, “Wow, don’t look too happy to see me. Get in.”

This only made your frown deepen as you rolled your eyes, opening the car door to take a seat, “Whatever. Couldn’t even open the car door for me, huh?” you slammed the door shut, crossing your arms as you looked ahead, avoiding Hyunjin’s gaze.

He scoffed while putting the car in drive, “Now why the hell would I do that?”

“Aren’t you supposed to learn how to be all gentlemanly and shit? Isn’t this why we’re doing this?” you snapped, nails digging into your hands as you clenched them in an attempt to hold your anger in.

Hyunjin only shrugged, “Funny you think you deserve that treatment. Just shut up and let's get this over with.”

You held your tongue, resisting the urge to start another quarrel with him in this car ride to whatever restaurant Changbin reserved for you two. It was a 20 minute drive and you refused to waste your breath on some argumentative asshole, and reminded yourself that at the very least you’d be eating something delicious soon enough.The car ride was tense as neither of you dared to speak, especially after Hyunjin turned the music up to hide the deafening silence that hung in the air. As soon as you both arrived at the restaurant, you exited the car in a hurry, desperate for a breath of fresh air and some reprieve from the tension you just sat in. Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin strolled right ahead of you, not making any sort of effort to acknowledge your existence as he marched through the restaurant's front doors as soon as he exited the car, causing you to chase after him just to keep up with his long strides. Truthfully, it felt like Hyunjin was just trying to piss you off, and it was working.

Upon entering the building, you realized Changbin had definitely booked you guys an extremely upscale restaurant, which explains why he was so insistent on making sure you both dress formally. Everyone in here reeked of affluence, and while you and Hyunjin were able to afford these luxuries due to the success of your careers, you still couldn’t help but feel out of place. The other patrons were dressed similarly to you, but there was this extra layer of otherworldly riches radiating off of them. Perhaps it was their mannerism or the snobby, fake, business smiles exchanged amongst them, but something about this place was extremely unsettling.

Hyunjin approached the host with a polite smile, “Reservation for Hwang.”

The host nodded, retrieving two menus before standing in front of both of you, bowing “Mister and Mx. Hwang, please follow me this way.”

Your body physically recoiled with disgust and shock when you heard the host refer to you as Mx. Hwang, wanting to immediately correct him, yet you reminded yourself you were here on a date, so it would be best to try to immerse yourself into the role as much as you can for the sake of your career and the future of this current project. The host led you to your table, which was thankfully located in a more secluded corner of the restaurant, a small candle in the middle of it to help set the romantic mood.

You thank the host as you sat down, graciously taking the menu from his hand with a smile, which dropped into a glower as soon as the host left, “Are you not taking any of this seriously?”

Hyunjin pursed his lips, his eyes scanning the menu in his hand, “You expect me to take you seriously?”

Your jaw dropped, completely flabbergasted at his lack of concern over the situation he put you both in, “What the fuck is your problem?” you growled in a syncopated whisper, trying not to draw any attention to you, “Do you not care about the possibility of both of us losing our roles?”

Hyunjin let out another exasperated sigh, as if you were inconveniencing him, “I am trying to get through his evening with you without wanting to gouge my eyes out,” he dramatically plopped the menu down on the table, “I do care, of course I fucking care.”

“Then can you at least act like it?” you whispered angrily.

“Maybe if you would shut up-”

Before Hyunjin could finish his statement, the waiter came by with an excited and hospitable smile, “Hello, Mister and Mx. Hwang! I hope you both are having a lovely evening. I’ll be your server for the night, can I interest you guys in a bottle of wine before we get started with food?”

You smiled at the server, nodding your head, “Oh, yes, that sounds wonderful. We’ll take whichever one you recommend.”

The server nodded sweetly, blissfully unaware of the tension between the two of you, “Great! I’ll bring out one of the house favorites for you two to try, I’ll be back shortly.”

As soon as the server was out of earshot, you glared down at Hyunjin once more, gripping the menu in hand as your knuckles turned white, “I am going to pretend I didn’t hear you. Do you know what you’re going to order?” you asked, trying to at least make some sort of conversation with him.

Except, Hyunjin just hums a response as his eyes return to the menu, choosing to ignore your question as the chatter of other patrons fills the silence. You let out a heavy exhale, debating on whether you should reach over the table and slap him, play along with him, or continue trying for, once again, the sake of your careers. “Well, I’m going to get the filet mignon. I think it’ll pair nicely with the wine.”

Hyunjin continued to ignore you, now scrolling through his phone which caused your anger to boil up within you as you wondered how on Earth you were going to get through the rest of the night with any sort of progress. “Seriously, Hyunjin? Are you not even going to try?”

He looked up from his phone, an unamused look painting his features, “Please just shut the fuck up. It would make this night a whole lot more bearable if you knew how to keep your mouth shut.”

“Hwang Hyunjin, I swear to f-”

“Alright, here you go,” the waiter returned with a cheery smile, setting down to glass cups while popping open a bottle of wine, “Are you two ready to order?” he beamed as he poured a healthy amount of wine in each of your glasses, and lord knows you need a drink right now.

“Ah, thank you,” you forced a courteous smile, “I’ll take the filet mignon, please.”

“Alright, and what about you, sir?”

“I’ll have the whole grilled snapper, thank you.”

“Perfect, I’ll have those out as soon as they’re ready.”

You felt yourself growing incredibly frustrated as time ticked by, unable to sit still in your seat due to the roaring fury you felt inside of you. You just could not understand why Hyunjin was so hateful towards you, you had no idea what caused him to behave this way with you and you were growing sick of it. Maybe you could confront him about it, but right now, you were way too riled up to even think of having that conversation with him. Your face was stuck in a permanent scowl as Hyunjin wore a blank expression, seemingly not caring about the circumstance you both were in. It floored you that Hyunjin wasn’t taking any of this seriously. He said he cared about the fact he was at risk of losing this role, yet his actions and attitude said otherwise. 

If looks could kill, Hyunjin would’ve been dead ten times over, yet as he looked up to meet your eyes, he returned your gaze with a humorless one, “You know, staring is rude.”

It was taking an exuberant amount of self control for you to hold it together, “I just can’t understand how you’re so relaxed about this. It’s like you want us both to get dropped from this project.”

“Like I said, I do care, but this whole arrangement isn’t so easy to do,” he said sternly, “You’re not even giving me the chance to get comfortable. You can’t just expect me to be able to act like we don’t hate each other. And pressuring me isn’t helping much either, is it?”

You bit the inside of the cheek, recognizing that Hyunjin wasn’t entirely wrong in how he was feeling. “I guess so,” was all you could manage to reply, not willing to give him the satisfaction that he was right. 

Once more, an uncomfortable, tense silence loomed over as you each waited for your food. You decided it was best to deal with this rather than forcing a conversation, perhaps it was best to let Hyunjin take the lead since he was the one struggling with this disaster. Despite the heavy atmosphere, you found your muscles slowly relaxing as time went on as your focus returned to the environment around you, how decadent each detail of the restaurant was and the false laughters of businessmen filled your ears. 

The waiter returned with both your meals in hand, grinning from ear to ear, “Alright, here’s the grilled snapper for you, sir,” he carefully laid the plate in front of Hyunjin before turning to you with a sweet smile, “And here’s the filet mignon for the beautiful Mx. Hwang.”

You noticed Hyunjin trying to hold back a teasing laugh at the waiter’s comment, even going as far to add, “They’re lovely, aren’t they?” But only you could see through the fakeness Hyunjin wore as the waiter politely agreed, causing you to kick Hyunjin hard in the shin from under the table. Hyunjin’s face winced as he thanked the waiter for the food before glaring at you, “What? You want us to act like a couple, but the moment I do something, you have a problem with it?”

You grumbled, annoyance lacing your voice, “Oh, shut up. You were being sarcastic, you asshole.”

“Oh, really? I would say our server didn’t have a clue, I’d say I’m a pretty good actor,” he smirked, picking up his fork and knife, “Let’s just enjoy our food, hm?”

You returned Hyunjin’s smirk with an insincere smile, “You’re right, it’s probably the only good thing that’ll come out this evening.” 

Hyunjin only hummed in agreement, choosing to ignore your comment as he dug into his food, you doing the same as the familiar tense silence enveloped you once more. In all honesty, this felt like it was going nowhere, it felt like this whole project was doomed from the very inception of it and Hyunjin’s stubbornness was only making this more difficult than it needed to be. The idea that you had to put your full trust and the fate of your career in someone else was too much, it was ridiculous, yet here you were, with the man you loathed the most having full control on whether this project would be a success or a blemish on your career. His lack of cooperation filled you with anxiety, yet you knew you had no choice. Patience wasn’t always your strong suit, but Hyunjin never failed to test it and you weren’t sure if you were going to survive this entire week if this was how every meeting was going to be like.

You were half way through your meal when Hyunjin cleared his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts, “So, why did you take the project knowing I was going to be the male lead?”

You snorted at his question, “Could be asking you the same thing.”

“Well, I honestly took the role thinking you wouldn’t do it knowing it was me as the lead,” mumbled Hyunjin.

“Wow,” you stared at him with disbelief in your eyes, “You really thought I’d reject a hand delivered opportunity?” you let out a surprised laugh, “Besides, the script seemed fun. Just didn’t realize you’d be so impossible to work with.”

“I see,” responded Hyunjin as he continued to eat, causing you to raise your eyebrow, fully expecting a witty response from him in return. 

The rest of dinner went on without a word, that being the only exchange throughout the night. While it was not an enjoyable time, you and Hyunjin seemed to have agreed that the silence was far more welcomed than any bickering you two would engage in, preferring the uncomfortable peace over anything else. 

The car ride home went the same, no words other than the loud music that drummed over your incessant thoughts, anxiety crawling throughout you as you began to worry that maybe you were losing out on the biggest role of your career, all thanks to Hyunjin of all people. If this didn’t work out, this would make it impossible for you to find other roles in the industry, as rumors would inevitably spread about how difficult it was to work with you and Hyunjin. You couldn’t trust him one bit, you had no faith in him that he would be able to get over his own differences with you, ones that you still had no idea where they even spawned from. 

As soon as Hyunjin pulled up in front of your apartment, you left his car without a word, not even looking back before making your way up to your unit. You pulled out your phone as you unlocked the front door, stumbling as you dialed Chan’s number.

“Oh, Y/N! How did it go?”

“Chan, this isn’t going to work. We’re fucked.”

[planet-marz1]

The Less I Know The Better

Summary: Joel returns home with a heartbreaking confession Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Word Count: ~1.7k

Tags/Warnings: no use of y/n, jackson!joel, established relationship, angst, angst no happy ending, infidelity, joel just kinda sucks honestly

A/N: After an eternity, I've finally finished my first little fic. A huge thank you to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for always being my biggest cheerleader & supporter when it comes to writing 💜 and to @kajashe & @hyzer34 for beta reading this for me!

| part ii | series masterlist | main masterlist | follow my fic updates blog @planetmarz1-notifs

beautiful dividers by @/saradika

The dim light from a single lamp flickered in the living room of your modest home in Jackson, Wyoming, casting long shadows on the walls. The walls seemed to embrace you as you lay on the couch, wrapped in a worn quilt. The rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock echoed in the silence, a stark reminder of the passing time. You stirred on the couch, blinking away sleep, your eyes searching for any sign of Joel’s return.

The door creaked open, the sound echoing through the silent house, announcing Joel's late arrival. You shifted on the couch, your eyes squinting against the sudden intrusion of light.

You sat up, rubbing your eyes, “Joel?” you called out, your voice laced with a mix of concern and fatigue.

There’s no response. You pushed yourself up, the quilt slipping off your shoulders, and a chill crept down your spine. “Joel,” you call out again softly, your voice tinged with concern and exhaustion.

Joel steps in, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the moon outside. His shoulders slumped, a weariness etched into his face that you hadn't seen before. The air in the room seemed charged with an unspoken tension as he kicked off his boots, the heavy thud echoing in the quiet space.

His gaze met yours, and something in his eyes seemed distant, a flicker of guilt that you couldn't quite place. There was a hesitance in his movements, a weight that hung in the air. “Hey,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact as he shuffled toward the kitchen.

You studied him, noticing the subtle changes in his demeanor. The air in the room felt thick with unspoken words, a tension that had never been there before. “Where were you?” you asked, your words gentle but laced with a hint of worry.

Joel hesitated, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Just out,” he replied vaguely, avoiding the specifics.

A knot tightened in your stomach. The suspicion that had been gnawing at the edges of your consciousness intensified. “Joel, you've been different lately,” you admitted, your voice catching. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed, a heavy exhale that seemed to carry more than just weariness. “I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all,” he muttered, his eyes still avoiding yours.

He looked away, guilt etched on his features. The room seemed to close in on you, the air heavy with unspoken words. Your heart pounded in your chest, and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. Something had changed, and you couldn't shake the feeling that the Joel standing before you was not the same man you had known.

The silence lingered, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the settlement at rest. You took a step closer, a sense of unease deepening in the core of your stomach. “Joel, we've always talked about everything. What's going on?”

He finally met your gaze, but his eyes held a distance you hadn't seen before. “Look, it's been a tough time for me. I just… I need some space, okay?”

The words hung in the air, leaving a heavy silence between you. Something in his tone felt off, and a chill ran down your spine. You couldn't put your finger on it, but a sense of unease settled over the room, casting a shadow over the once-familiar space.

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat growing as you grappled with the unsettling atmosphere. “Joel, we've faced tough times before, and we've always faced them together,” you said, your voice carrying a mixture of vulnerability and determination.

He looked away again, a pained expression flickering across his face. “It's not that simple this time,” he muttered.

The silence stretched between you, thickening with each passing moment. Joel's evasion of your questions left a bitter taste in the air, and you couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in your chest. You took a step closer, reaching out to gently touch his arm, an attempt to bridge the growing distance.

“Joel, please,” you implored, your voice barely above a whisper. “I can feel that something's not right. Talk to me.”

He sighed, shoulders slumping even more. “It's not about us. It's about me.”

A cold shiver ran down your spine. The room, once a sanctuary, felt like a trap closing in on you. “Joel, you can't just leave me in the dark like this. Whatever it is, we can face it together,” you pleaded, your voice trembling.

His gaze finally met yours, and there was a haunted look in his eyes. “I messed up,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dread settled in your chest as you processed his confession.“Messed up how?”

He hesitated, and for a moment, the air hung heavy with unspoken truths. “I… I shouldn't have, but I… I was weak,” he stammered, his eyes avoiding yours once more.

Dread settled in your stomach as the pieces began to fall into place. “Joel, did you…” The words caught in your throat, the possibility too painful to voice.

He nodded, the admission hanging in the air like a heavy cloud. The room seemed to spin, and a profound ache settled in the pit of your stomach. You held onto a nearby chair, the weight of the revelation pressing down on you.

He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. “I never meant for any of this to happen,” he mumbled, a shadow of shame crossing his features.

A mix of emotions surged within you—betrayal, anger, and an overwhelming sadness. The room felt colder, the once-familiar walls now witness to a fracture in the foundation of your relationship. The silence stretched between you, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the settlement outside, oblivious to the unraveling of your world within.

Joel's admission hung in the air, a heavy cloud of betrayal and sorrow. The room, once a sanctuary, now felt like an unfamiliar battleground where emotions clashed with the harsh reality. You struggled to process the revelation, the weight of the truth settling on your shoulders like a burden too heavy to bear.

A chilling silence enveloped the room, broken only by the distant sounds of the settlement outside. You looked at Joel, searching his face for some sign that this was a terrible misunderstanding, a nightmare from which you would soon wake.

“How could you?” you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion.

Joel reached out as if to comfort you, but you recoiled. “I don't know,” he admitted, his voice raw with regret. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

You held up a hand, a feeble attempt to create some distance between you. “Why, Joel? We've been through so much together. Why now?”

He sighed, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I don't know, alright? It's like I lost myself for a moment. Everything's been so damn difficult, and I… I made a mistake.”

Anger bubbled within you, mixing with the hurt and confusion. “A mistake? Joel, this is more than a mistake. This is a betrayal.”

He winced at your words, the weight of his actions sinking in. “I know. And I hate myself for it.”

The room felt suffocating, the air thick with tension. You stood, pacing away from him, needing the space to process the whirlwind of emotions. Tears welled in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Anger mingled with heartache, creating a storm of emotions within you. “How long?” you finally managed to choke out, your voice strained.

Joel hesitated before answering, each moment of silence amplifying the pain.”It's been a few weeks, maybe more.”

A few weeks.

The revelation struck you like a blow, and you felt the sting of tears welling up. 

A sense of betrayal and disbelief surged through you, threatening to overwhelm your senses. The cozy house, once a haven, now felt like a prison of shattered dreams. 

“Why?” you asked, your voice a desperate plea for an explanation, your eyes searching for any sign of remorse. “Why didn't you say something? Why let it continue?”

His eyes met yours, filled with a mixture of regret and shame. “I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared of losing you.”

Joel struggled to find the right words, his expression tortured. “I don't have an excuse. It's just… I lost myself for a while, and I thought I could fix things on my own,” he admitted, his admission doing little to ease the pain.

The words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the fragility of trust. The room seemed to close in on you, and you struggled to find the right words to express the pain pulsing through your veins.

The room echoed with the weight of unspoken accusations and unshed tears. You stepped back, creating a physical distance, as if trying to escape the emotional turmoil. “I trusted you,” you whispered, the words heavy with disappointment.

He reached out again, this time not to comfort, but to grasp at the last strands of connection. “I messed up, but I want to make things right,” he pleaded, his eyes desperate.

The hurt and anger within you were too raw to process. “Make things right?” you scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “You can't just fix this, Joel. You've broken something that can't be repaired.”

The truth of those words hung in the air, a painful acknowledgment of the irreparable damage. The home the two of you shared, once filled with laughter and love, felt like a haunting reminder of what was lost. As Joel stood before you, the chasm between you widened, and the realization settled that the life you had known had crumbled into ruins.

A moment of silence stretched between you, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the settlement outside. The reality of the situation sunk in, and you felt the weight of a decision hanging over you like a guillotine. “I need time,” you whisper. “I need to process this.”

Joel nodded, a mixture of remorse and regret etched on his face. “I understand,” he murmured.

As he left the room, the door creaking softly behind him, you sank back onto the couch. The moonlight spilled through the window, casting a cold glow on the space that had once felt warm and secure. The echoes of Joel's confession lingered in the air, and you were left alone with the shattered remnants of a relationship that had been your anchor in this harsh universe.

tag list: @wannab-urs @pertinentpostmortem @party-hearses @mandoisapunk @bastardmandennis @catchallfangirl @chaotic-mystery @beskarandblasters @millerscoffee @worhols @amanitacowboy @littlegrungegirlaf @pamasaur @pedrodascal @gracieheartspedro @chloeangelic @annasinterests @sweetercalypso @ilovepedro @cool-iguana @pascalpvnk @alwaysmicado @lovers-liability @futuraa-free @morgaussy @pedritoferg @spookykoolkat @wethairjoel @chronically-ghosted @buckyispunk @pattwtf @morning-star-joy @elvinaa @onentaien-kwara @yourlocalmerchgirl @nandan11 @tinycozycomfort @magpiepills @nervoushottee @pr0ximamidnight @joelscurls @janaispunk @5oh5 @farmerlarrry @atinylittlepain

[dollysilena]

TRAINING WHEELS

CHAPTER THREE | BABY ON BOARD

ao3 | series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

five years ago, you stupidly had a fling with inarizaki athlete, miya atsumu– now, present day– he had a son he knew nothing about. you made sure it was going to stay that way, but as fate would have it, he unexpectedly stumbled back into your lives, now as volleyball’s biggest star.

wc & notes: 3.5k — this chapter was originally going to be 7k+ words, but for my own sanity during editing i decided to split it in two different chapters instead! i also thought it would be easier to read in separate chapters instead of just one really condensed one so pls forgive me 🗿

The past twelve hours had been a whirlwind for Miya Atsumu.

His day started late, but not out of his own fault! He swore it. It was just because his alarm clock didn’t go off. At least that’s what he told Coach Foster when he walked into practice late with a Starbucks frappuccino. But hey, at least he got one for everyone right? The team nutritionist yelled at him later for it because sugar wasn’t on the regiment, especially with the V-League season so soon. Hinata gladly slurped down the drink though, which consequently sent him into a sugar rush later. And once that happened, their coach chewed out Atsumu for the ginger’s erratic playing. It seemed like the scolding was neverending, but he shook it off as practice continued. He thought that the rest of the day was going to go on without any more hitches, up until he got a call from his brother. 

“She’s here right now with a kid. He’s four years old, and I don’t think the fact he looks like ya is a coincidence.”

The air stilled, and despite the clamor and ruckus of the gym around him, all Atsumu heard was the ringing in his ears and the silence on Osamu’s end. A kid?

There was no way. Osamu was just messing with him, right? It was just a prank, Suna or one of their friends probably put him up to it. There’s no way that… that he actually… He thought of you, something his mind hadn’t crossed paths with in awhile. You were just a girl who left him high and dry five years ago… without a word. He wanted to tell himself he wasn’t convinced, but something lurching in his stomach told him otherwise.

The denial didn’t stop Atsumu from abruptly running out of practice. He would deal with what the coaches had to say later.

FIVE YEARS AGO — INARIZAKI HIGH SCHOOL

“What’s up with ya?” Atsumu questioned, slumping down on the seat infront of your desk as he faced yours. “Yer acting funny, ya sick or something?”

Atsumu couldn’t care less about the fact he was bothering you in the middle of class, all he could think about is how weird you’ve been acting with him. He thought things were going good with you over the past few weeks, maybe a little too good considering you both… He shook it off. You’ve been acting odd all week, suddenly barely sparing him a glance. Despite the fact you both weren’t dating, he had to admit it was bugging him more than it should’ve.

“What makes you say that?” You responded, almost defensively. You didn’t look up from your math worksheet, and to anyone else, it would just look like you were focused on your work, but Atsumu knew you were distracted, you hadn’t moved from the same problem for over ten minutes. 

“Well, ya barely have been talking to me this week first of all,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “And not to mention one of your friends told me you went home early yesterday because of food poisoning.” He didn’t mean to reveal that he had been asking around about you, but you didn’t seem to linger on it.

You fiddled with the pencil on your desk, clearly avoiding his eyes. “Why does it matter to you? It’s none of your business, Miya.”

Miya? Harsh.

“And here I thought ya liked me!” Atsumu replied, melodramatically clutching his chest as if he were wounded, albeit, his ego was admittedly a little bruised. “Of course what my girl does matters to me.”

You couldn’t help yourself from cracking a smile, and Atsumu considered it a victory. 

“We’re not even dating, we met a couple weeks ago,” you replied, shaking your head. 

Atsumu rolled his eyes. Though, you were right, you had never made anything official. It was all just harmless fun, right? 

“That didn’t seem to matter when we–”

“Be quiet!” you hissed in embarrassment. Atsumu smirked when he noticed how flustered you got. When you realized Atsumu wasn’t going to let up, you gave him another sigh. 

“I think I’m just not feeling well, probably a stomach bug or something.”

“Blegh!” Atsumu replied, sticking out his tongue. “Well don’t give it to me!”

You bore a small grin at him. Atsumu smiled back, happy that he was at least able to make you feel a little better that day.

He didn’t think that would be the last time he ever saw you.

He was going to walk you home that day and he even considered finally formally asking you out. Granted, he probably should have done that before the… bathroom incident, but he digressed. He went to your classroom later only to find your desk empty. Your classmates already said you left and he shrugged it off. He would just wait until the next day.

Then you were absent the next day, and the day after.

 It wasn’t until a whole week had passed where he felt himself starting to get worried.

You weren’t answering his texts, and after awhile, they didn’t even deliver anymore. He thought things were going well, at least to him they were… Whatever, he wasn’t going to let it get to him. If you didn’t want to talk to him anymore, so be it, it wasn’t his problem. People walked out on him all the time. He repeated it like a mantra, whatever, whatever, whatever.

But it doesn’t stop him from thinking.

As the days progressed, he felt himself plunging deeper into his doubtful thoughts.  You weren’t avoiding him on purpose were you? He didn’t realize how much it was getting to him until he missed practically every set during practice because he was too busy thinking of your smile at him instead of where Osamu’s hand was. He was tired of it, he finally decided he wasn’t going to wait for you to show up. He would get the answers himself.

Afterschool, he followed the trek to your house and stirred silently. Why was he even bothered this much about some girl he barely knew? You weren’t the first girl he was with, and he didn’t plan for you to be the last. So why was it bothering him so much? He wasn’t sure why, but it crept up his spine like a chill. 

Miya Atsumu isn’t someone you can leave, he’s always made sure of it. He’s never the one left behind. He doesn’t want to be. 

He stood on your doorstep, deliberating with himself if it was even worth it. But he didn’t come all this way for nothing. Even if you told him to get lost, atleast it would put an end to his endless lamenting. It would be better than having you plague him like a damn fever. He knocked.

He doesn’t expect your mother to answer.

“What do ya mean she moved?” Atsumu asked in disbelief.

“She’s gone to live with her grandmother in Kagawa,” your mother stated firmly. “I don’t think you’ll be seeing her anytime soon.”

Before Atsumu could pry for any other details, your mother spoke again.

“Don’t ever come back to this house.”

Then the door was slammed in his face.

PRESENT DAY

Despite his best attempts at staying in denial, he realized that all the signs were there. You were getting sick, avoiding him, your sudden disappearance. He should have known something was wrong when your mother forbade him from coming back without a reason. His mind was a flurry as he rushed through the streets of Osaka. The little voice in the back of his head that was saying it was impossible was getting flooded out, it was entirely too possible. 

In his rush inside Onigiri Miya, he was met with a body crashing into him. He looked down to see a horrified face infront of him, it’s yours. And in your arms, an unassuming boy that looked indisputably like him. A moment passed, as if the world stopped spinning on its axis. The panic seemed to be flooding out of your body and into the room. His mouth felt dry and whatever was spinning through his mind was suddenly a standstill. His gaze followed back to the boy, and his heart lurched.

There was no doubt about it, he had a son.

Even if you hadn’t told him, Atsumu could instinctively already tell, something in his gut just knew. He shared his smile, his brown eyes, and even his naturally dark hair that swept in the same way Atsumu’s did when he was that age. There was a piece of him out there, and he didn’t know all these years.

He barely choked out, “could we talk?”

While you both spoke at the table together, and as he gazed at Haru playing with Osamu and your friend not far away, he found himself wondering so many questions. What had Haru looked like when he was a baby? What was he like? Was he more energetic and lively like him? Or more quiet and reserved like his brother was? Was anyone there to help you through the pregnancy? What were his first words? Did he ever ask about him once he was old enough to understand what a father was?

“Atsumu, you realize what you’re asking right? You’re agreeing to be a father, which you just found out right now of all things. It’s a commitment, no take backsies.”

He knew he should’ve weighed the circumstances more, you were right after all, it was a commitment, a life-long one. Not to mention he barely found out an hour ago. Did he even know how to be a father? Infact, Atsumu hadn’t even considered kids in his life yet. He thought he had a long time before he thought he ever had to make that decision.

He thought about Haru, and how for years, he didn’t grow up with a father. His jaw hardened. Four years was too long for him to be absent. He couldn’t just… walk out. When he looked at Haru, he couldn’t possibly think of going on with living his life while knowing his son was out there. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

After your talk and once the situation was settled, atleast as much as it could be, Atsumu had offered to walk you home for the night. You decided to opt out of the company party you were attending for obvious reasons, and Naomi made sure to pass the news on to your boss about a “family emergency”.

 Now there he was, walking down the streets with his ex highschool fling, and his child. Whoever said life worked in unexpected ways, he wasn’t quite imagining this.

You both walked in silence, with Haru in your arms as he slept soundly. Atsumu wasn’t sure what to say, or if he even wanted to break the silence, so he kept quiet. Throughout the walk, he found himself stealing glances at you, and it felt as if he were meeting you all over again. You obviously weren’t the same girl he knew all those years ago. You held yourself up with a maturity he felt like he couldn’t match. Unlike him, sometimes he still felt like the clumsy kid he was in highschool. Maturity was something he always seemed to lack. His friends and brother always made sure to remind him of that whenever he behaved so. 

He looked down at Haru, still fast asleep. He imagined it was well past his bedtime now. You stifled a yawn as you carried the small boy, the tiredness seemed to be contagious. He saw your shoulders beginning to sag, and Atsumu realized you had been carrying him for the better portion of the walk.

“Here, let me take him,” he offered. “You’re tired.”

You looked up at him, with a raised eyebrow. “Have you held a kid before?”

He felt himself pause. Had he held a kid before? There were a few times at family reunions where he held the children of distant family members but that had all been for mere seconds before another family member scooped them up. He remembered how his mom was able to hold him and his brother at once for hours on end, how hard could it be?

“No, but I want to try seeing as I have one now.”

You laughed and extended Haru out to Atsumu, who gently took the boy as if he were made of porcelain. Haru shifted in his sleep, but comfortably adjusted into the setter’s arms.

He heard your laugh beside him and he immediately stiffened up. Had he done something wrong?

“He’s not a volleyball,” you chuckled, “hold him up from here.” You went to adjust Atsumu’s position and pushed up his arm so Haru’s weight could rest on it. He felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment, apparently it was harder than he thought.

“Good,” you replied, patting his arm, and he had to stop himself from blushing when he felt your fingers brushing his arm. “Now just keep him there.”

Atsumu nodded as you continued your walk. It’s then that the thought hit him—when he was finally holding Haru in his arms—that he's his. 

His arms instinctively held Haru tighter. No, he couldn’t be doubtful now. There was too much on the line and too much time lost. Unlike the past four years, he swore that he would be there from now on, no matter what.

You both rounded the corner before you got to your apartment complex, a smaller building in the quieter part of the city. You both had lived here all this time, and he didn’t know. Had he ever walked down this street unknowingly?

“This is us,” you stated, gesturing to the building. He felt himself trying to come up with something to say, but nothing came out. He just knew he didn’t want the night to end, there was still so much he had to know.

“Would you like to come in for a bit? I have some pictures of Haru I could show you.” You asked, and it was like you read his mind.

“I would like that.”

He followed you inside and into the elevator where you led him to your apartment. You flicked on the lights and Atsumu glanced around. He looked around and saw Haru’s toys laying about, pictures of the two of you framed around the home, he even spotted Haru’s homework still strewn out on the coffee table. You both crept inside, careful to be quiet as to not wake Haru. You led him down a hallway and opened a door to what he presumed was Haru’s room, and ushered him inside. 

Atsumu carried the boy inside his room, and looked around. He saw his drawings framed along the walls, toys, stuffed animals, and noticed a volleyball near his toy trunk. He made a mental note to ask Haru about that later. He padded over to the bed, and set him down so he was laying. You came up beside him, and tucked the covers over him before kissing his forehead. 

He realized this was the first time he was putting his son to sleep. Was this what having a family was like?

You both quietly exited the room, making sure to close Haru’s door so he wasn’t disturbed by you both outside.

“I can make us some tea,” you said, as he nodded. He didn’t even really like tea, he was just glad he could stay. He followed you to the kitchen, where he took a seat at the kitchen island while you put the kettle on the stove.

“Is it just ya two here?” He asked, looking around. You had some pictures framed up, as well as some photographs hung on the fridge which he could see. But from what he could tell, it was only you, Haru, and sometimes Naomi in the photos.

“Yup,” you responded, pulling out two mugs from the cabinet above you. “Since Haru was born, really.”

Atsumu felt his heart in his stomach. “Even when ya were pregnant?”

Atsumu saw you still, and he hoped he didn’t open an old wound. He scolded himself for not being more sensitive, and letting his own curiosity get the better of him. 

“When I told my parents, they kicked me out,” you stated bluntly, putting the tea bags in the cups. “They sent me to live with my grandmother, who was amazingly supportive, but she died before Haru was born, so since then it was just us.”

Atsumu was silent, he wasn't sure what to say. I’m sorry? I’m sorry that I wasn’t there? But that wasn’t enough, it didn’t change what you had to go through. The thought of you being in that delivery room by yourself only added onto the guilt on his shoulders, and his heart sank even further when he realized you had to do everything else alone too.

“Atleast Haru’s birth was quick!” You joked, a smile beaming on your face. Despite all that, you were still… positive? Atsumu was in disbelief, he probably couldn’t go through a fraction of what you had and still manage to put on a brave front. He always got into a mood, as Osamu called it, even at the smallest of inconveniences. You pushed a cup of tea towards him which he took graciously.

“Yer amazing,” he said in awe.

“It’s just tea,” you laughed, blowing on your cup. Atsumu shook his head.

“No,” he responded. “For everything. For what ya had to go through, and what you’ve done for Haru. And at eighteen? Osamu was still packing my lunches when I was that age.”

You laughed in response and it made his cheeks warm. He liked the sound, he thought.

“Let me get those photo albums I was talking about,” you said before walking into another room. You came back a few minutes later holding a few photo books.

 “Do you wanna start with the first one?” You asked, holding one out.

Atsumu eagerly nodded as he took the dusty blue album, decorated with ribbons and stickers. He could tell you had decorated it yourself. It showcased a picture of you holding a newborn Haru in the hospital. The picture almost made Atsumu frown, knowing you were by yourself that day, but he ended up smiling seeing how proudly you beamed holding the baby. He opened the book and inspected inside.

There was a sonogram of each phase Haru was in during your pregnancy, and eventually a few photos of Haru being born in the hospital. He saw the tiny notes you wrote besides the pictures, and his mouth grew agape when he saw 3.68kg written next one of Haru’s pictures.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, noticing his expression. “He was a big baby, I guess since his dad’s a pro athlete and everything.”

His face grew more horrified and he almost wanted to apologize. He apologize to his mom too considering she had twins. Then another picture caught his attention.

 “Hey, what’s this one?” He asked, pointing to another photo.

He pointed towards a picture that looked somewhat recent, he could tell since Haru seemed to be almost the same age in the picture as he was now. It was of you in a graduation cap and gown holding up Haru proudly who looked like he was cheering. It definitely wasn’t your high school graduation since Haru was in it.

“Oh, that’s when I graduated from university last year.”

“Ya completed university?” Atsumu asked in astonishment.

“Yeah,” you grinned. “Pretty proud of myself. I was working two jobs and had to take night classes for a couple years but I ended up getting my degree finally a few months ago, then I got a great job at the firm I’m at now.”

No, you’re not just amazing, you’re phenomenal.

The rest of the night was filled with you and Atsumu looking over Haru’s pictures, some of his favorites being Haru’s second birthday where he had cake painted across his face from where he tried to eat his birthday cake face-first, his first day of preschool (which he found out he started this year), and one of you and Haru at a festival with matching daifuku in hand. He made a mental note to take you both when he saw how brightly you both smiled. Whenever he wasn’t looking at the photos, he was paying attention to you. He was getting to know you again.

“It’s getting late,” you yawned. “I have work tomorrow, and I probably have to explain why I missed the party tonight.”

Atsumu groaned. “That reminds me, I have to explain to my coaches tomorrow why I ran out of practice, they probably won’t believe me though.”

You giggled, before sliding out the picture of Haru’s second birthday from the book. “Maybe you can use this as proof.”

Atsumu took the photo and smiled warmly in the picture in his hands. The picture would find a well-loved home in his wallet, but would later be replaced with a picture of the three of you adorning matching jerseys on Haru’s eighth birthday at one of Atsumu’s games.

reblogs, comments, & asks are appreciated!

taglist (closed): @cloud-lyy @gabicalicota @lilith412426 @luvkaku @bbaegirl @allainaemm @fashionloverr846 @slut444spencer @tsumus-babydoll @1-800-peakyblinders @lellokitty @blinkingsuns @polish-cereal @lilolpotato @yogkurts @awkwardaardvarkforever @swan-chan @bngtnsecret @themoonreflectsthesun @mazdoe @marvel-ing-at-it-all @botphobiaa @kyomihann @koutarostiddies @katsunarii @coconut-soup @ibby-miyoshi-nerd @nicerthanu @invyou @ti-mame @ushygushybaby @hanahanasstuff @drageonix24 @bokuatsubro @littlemochi @softtashoney @curiouslilbeasty @rukia-uchiha-98 @pinkwhiskers @urmomondeez @unstaaableaf

[talknerdytome18]

Ranking All Books by Holly Jackson

Since I've read all of Holly's books, I'm going to rank them! Disclaimer: This is my opinion. If we don't have the same opinion, then respect that. Let's go!

Warning: this may contain spoilers for all books published by Holly Jackson. If you don't want to be spoiled, then scroll away.

6. Killjoy (2021)

I found this story cute! Very fun and fast-paced. I loved seeing how it all started and loved seeing the friend group's dynamic again. I just found this to not be the best out of all of Holly's books (granted this is a novella, but it's not my fave). Also, too much Ant Lowe in my opinion. I would have preferred more Jamie Reynolds. Also, I personally think Connor and Zach should've kissed but oh well.

Overall, fun book! If you wanna go back to where it all started, then this novella is worth it.

5. Five Survive (2022)

Guys... I have a reason why this book is ranked so low. I'm going to start by saying that I did not hate this book. I found the story intriguing and was engaged once the action started. For her first standalone, this book was really good and exceeded my expectations. My main problem with this book was that I found that I could care less about the characters. Personally, I found Red Kenny to be a weak protagonist in comparison to Pip and Bel and, not to mention how I could care less about Red and Arthur. Red and Arthur are cute, but honestly, I could care less if they got together or not.

Again, I don't hate this book. For Holly's first standalone, it was really good. However, I found that I didn't really care for any of the characters.

Overall, good book! Wish I connected more to the characters because the premise is incredible.

4. Good Girl, Bad Blood (2020)

All books in the AGGGTM series are five star reads in my opinion, but I find this the weakest book in the trilogy. Honestly, I love this book with my whole heart. Coming from being Connor Reynolds's biggest fan, I love how much he appeared in this book and how he aided in finding Jamie.

I think this book suffers from what I've dubbed "Sequel Slump" - meaning that the first book is so good that the sequel "slumps" in comparison. In this case, A Good Girl's Guide to Murder is so good that this book just "slumps" in comparison, and I think it's because it takes a while for the mystery to officially begin, since we're taken through a quick recap over the previous book's events and then the memorial.

Also, I personally think that Connor and Zach should've kissed. Connor going to Zach's house to play Fortnite after the memorial? Very fruity to me (joking... or am I?)

Overall, love this book. Wish it got more recognition in the fandom.

3. A Good Girl's Guide to Murder (2019)

LOVE THIS BOOK. This book is fast-paced, thrilling and mysterious. It has a healthy dose of mystery and romance, along with characters I truly felt interested in. Pip's an amazing protagonist who fought hard to prove Sal innocent and find the real killer under the guise of her EPQ, all as she got the guy (Ravi Singh) in the end.

I loved that this book kept me guessing until the very end. I was suspecting everyone (Max, Jason, Naomi, Elliot, etc) and was genuinely surprised finding out Elliot killed Sal. Holly had written him to be such a likeable person that I couldn't believe he would kill Sal just so he could frame him as Andie's killer. AND BECCA? Never would've guessed it. Holly Jackson knows how to write compelling thrillers and I love that for her.

My only real complaint is again, Zach and Connor should've kissed. Connor honey I get that you liked Pip, but Zach Chen is literally right there. You boys are soulmates and I pray that the show recognises that (along with LauCara).

Overall, AMAZING BOOK. Deserves all the hype!

2. As Good as Dead (2021)

AHHHHH I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. THIS BOOK IS HOW YOU END A TRILOGY GUYS. From the beginning, I was hooked by the mystery of Pip's stalker. This book broke my heart with Andie's email - poor girl was so scared of her father and died trying to escape him. I really like how this book doesn't give Andie a full redemption arc, rather it explains her actions. It really humanises Andie - a girl who grew up in a toxic environment and died trying to save herself and her sister.

My heart shattered when Pip broke up with Ravi. AND HIS SUGGESTION WAS TO MARRY SO THEY COULD GET SPOUSAL PRIVILEDGE??? RAVI FUCKING SINGH WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME???

The ending? EVIL. FUCKING EVILLLL BUT I LOVE HOLLY EITHER WAY. In my heart, I believe Pip got back together with him and they married. They also got another golden retriever in my mind after they got married.

Only complaint was WHERE WAS ZACH CHEN? CONNOR AND HIM SHOULD'VE KISSED WTF. Not to mention Lauren and Cara... Love my girl Steph though. Hoping that Lauren and Cara are a thing in the show though since we don't know much about Steph.

Overall, BEST BOOK IN THE TRILOGY GUYS.

The Reappearance of Rachel Price (2024)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

THIS BOOK... I WILL ONLY SAY ONE WORD: BRILLIANT.

When Holly Jackson said that this book was her favourite, I can see why it is. While I struggled to get into it from the beginning, once I read past 100 pages, I was hooked. Bel Price is such a complex protagonist that I could find myself relating to. All the characters were just so complex and you truly don't know who's lying until the very end, when we find out (spoiler alert) that Charlie (Bel's dad) had ordered his father to kill Rachel.

Not to mention how insane the sibling plotline was??? I NEVER WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED THAT CARTER WAS RACHEL'S BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER. My heart broke when Rachel spoke about how Patrick took Carter away from her when Carter was only two weeks old. The Price family are truly disgusting - Rachel, Bel and Carter deserved so much better.

Also, I preferred the romance between Ash and Bel over Arthur and Red. Ash is such a fun character and I was genuinely sad when him and Bel weren't endgame. I believe that one day, in the near future, they reunite and get together officially.

Overall, LOVE THIS BOOK. If you haven't picked this up yet, then do so now!

~~~~

That's it! If you wanna talk, then my inbox is open :) - Em

[justmybookthots]

Legendborn

Um??????????

I put this book off for so long because a) I heard the next book in the series only comes out in 2025 and I didn't want to be left hanging, and b) I wasn't the biggest fan when I heard there was a (sigh) love triangle in there. And yet here I am, having finished it at long last.

Confession: I was/am in the middle of something like a reading slump. February has not been kind to me with my reads. When the Ann Liang book I was anticipating for months let me down horrifically, ALL the books that followed either fell flat too or were just… middling. I went through book after book feeling empty, and then I told myself: you know what. Legendborn has been on EVERYONE and their mother's radar, and their responses are the same—near unanimous acclaim. It's honestly quite insane.

So I took a gamble. I got the book and started reading it. 

You can TELL. You can just TELL when a book hits right for you, unlike the ones I read before it. I was hooked. Engaged. Totally captivated. I'd read and DNFed another fantasy book just weeks ago, which also utilised King Arthur lore (titled Silver in the Bone), but somehow Legendborn succeeded where that story failed (for me). Maybe I'm just a basic bitch who's a sucker for the typical storyline of a normal girl finding herself entangled with a group of monster slayers and doing tournaments to become one of them. (Is this why… I was instantly enthralled with the Infernal Devices??? Or why I love Demon Slayer—the anime—so much????? I am finding out new things about myself.)

But sure… the beginning isn't anything too different from traditional YA structures. But as you get going, and you continue down the road, you start to see new grounds being tread, and it deviates from anything I've personally read as a teen.

As usual, even though I loved this book, I'm going to do what I almost always do and explore the dichotomy of what I liked and didn't.

Spoilers abound. 

Didn't like:

It was predictable… up to a point (and then I was GOBSMACKED but we'll get to that later). Like, I knew pretty quickly which characters were going to make it to Squires and which weren't. You could just tell from how the author treated certain Pages (the folks trying to be Squires) in a more favourable light. The nice ones win, the not-nice ones don't. I'd have liked more nuance in their characterisation, TBH.

Speaking of which, however, Bree's characterisation at the start was rough. Like, she'd do stupid shit and get in trouble and continue being irresponsible. I wasn't surprised Alice was mad at her, and I don't think that the trouble she faced stemmed solely from her race but rather her irresponsible behaviour (going off-campus when she already knows that's grounds for expulsion and she STILL gets mad when the dean, who decides to let her off, is churlish with her. Seriously?). That said, I am NOT Black, and I can't speak for the quotidian prejudices they face, so take my perception of it with a grain of salt. In any case, Bree changed and this was no longer an issue for me later on.

Nick. And his whole romance with Bree. Like, I really did NOT care. And Nick was pretty much a white boy-damsel in distress the entire story. Every time screen time was devoted to their romance, my eyes would glaze over and I'd start skimming all the kissing and stuff. 

There were a lot of characters. Like, a lot. Too many. My brain was scrambling trying to remember and place everyone in their different roles. And aside from a few (bless William), they didn't have very distinct voices. Greer had, like, ZERO distinctive voice other than being non-binary, which should not be the only thing to define a character. Whitty was… nice, is all? Everyone kinda just melded in my brain, which is probably why none of the character deaths really hit me. 

I'm not a huge fan of Chosen One tropes. But this does play on the trope in a VERY interesting way. 

WHAT I LIKED (!!!!!!!!!!!):

The whole concept of Root and Bloodcraft. I LOVED how the author used magic to convey the colonisation of white men. The idea that Legendborns forcefully TAKE their power, while non-Bloodcraft users only borrow their power, speaks volumes to me. It was such a good way to portray real life.

Also??? The ending twist about Bree????? All along, I was convinced she was secretly the Scion of Lancelot, but I wasn't sure HOW, because all the knights are obviously white. And then the author pulls a fast one on me and she's actually fucking Arthur. The reasoning is so good. I loved how the White Man's own cruelty and their disgusting ownership of Black people led them to this predicament. I think THIS was the part that truly sold me on how terrific and unique this book was.

Characters-wise… William. Like, I adore the fuck out of him. In another world, in an even less conventional book, William would have been the hero for me. He's exactly my type with how calm and confident he was without needing to be overbearing about it. In fact, he was so gentle. (Makes me think of Jem Carstairs, but obviously Jem is THE published blueprint for types like this.)

Sel. Yes, I know I just talked about how I didn't like overbearing characters, and I initially went into this book expecting to hate him, but… :) I thought he was quite justified in his hatred / distrust towards Bree at first, knowing what he knew about how the mesmer and Oaths didn't take. I'll see if my opinion of him changes in the sequel. 

I  really, really liked how for once, King Arthur wasn't depicted as just some hero. He actually seemed almost villainous in this book, especially in the moments when Bree was possessed by him. What happened to her supposedly getting wisdom when she Awakened, though? This man does not sound wise at all. I am intrigued.

I am so glad I read this book. SO GLAD. I was down in the dumps for a bit and finally reading a good fantasy made me feel a thousand times better. I'm a bit nervous reading the sequel because some things often don't live up to their predecessor, so I shall see.

- 28 Feb 2024

[princessofbookaholics]

END OF THE YEAR BOOK TAG 2023

It's the end of the year again! I've been doing this tag since 2020 and I love looking at the stats every year. Although my 5 star reads keep getting lesser every year or I'm just getting more strict with my ratings, who knows? Some answers might be a continuation of my Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag so I don't repeat books again. Here are the questions:

1. How many books did you read this year?

I read 166 books this year (including 4 rereads)

2. What genres did you read?

62 romance books

59 mystery/thrillers

15 fantasy books

11 contemporaries

6 graphic novel/manga

6 anthologies

3 non-fiction books

3 historical fiction

1 poetry

3. What age ranges did you read?

130 adult books

16 young adult books

13 new adult books

7 middle grade books

4. How many books got each rating?

23 five star books (including 4 rereads)

69 four star books

58 three star books

16 two star books

5. Best book you've read this year?

I think Babel by R. F. Kuang is still my number one of the year, nothing was able to top that reading experience for me. I've made a post with all my 5 star reads of the year if you need more recs!

6. Have you completed any series this year?

It was my reading goal to complete more series and i definitely did that.

Dance of Thieves duology by Mary E. Pearson

Lovestruck series by Mimi Grace

Tattered and Torn series by Catherine Cowles

Spirit Hunters by Ellen Oh

Dirty Air Series by Lauren Asher

Queen's Cove series by Stephanie Archer

7. Biggest disappointment (for the second half of the year)

8. Biggest surprise (for the second half of the year)

9. Underrated gems (for the second half of the year)

10. Beautiful book covers (for the second half of the year)

11. New favorite authors you discovered

Romance authors: Catherine Cowles, Mimi Grace, Stephanie Archer, Juliana Smith, Kristina Forest, Catherine Walsh

Mystery/thriller authors: Freida McFadden, Mary Kubica, Catherine Ryan Howard, A. R. Torre, Lucinda Berry, Keigo Higashino

12. Favorite new releases of the year

13. Books that lived up to the hype

14. Books that did not live up to the hype

15. Longest and shortest book you read this year

Longest book: Final Offer by Lauren Asher (583 books)

Shortest book: Not Your Valentine by Jackie Lau (136 pages)

16. Did you accomplish your reading goals

I did complete 5 series so that's done. I read more than 100 books but i didn't manage to finish The Count of Monte Cristo because i gave up halfway because I had started slumping. I will try to pick it up again next year!

17. Reading plans for next year

I want to slow down on my reading and try to put quality over quantity because this reading year was so average.

[kanohimineka]

The Murder of the Power Rangers: A Conspiracy

This post requires brief context of this one: https://www.tumblr.com/kanohimineka/729314732989874176/i-would-like-to-add-i-also-posted-this-to-my?source=share

I didn't want to reblog it, since this is more of its own thing, but whatever, read it anyways.

So, Cosmic Fury is now out, and it seems that our friend Simon has completely let loose. In a brief Twitter Space thingy, he took in questions from fans, where he would eventually answer them. Most of it was pretty innocuous, basic production stuff. However, there were a few moments of Hasbro heavily limiting what could be done with Cosmic Fury. The two biggest examples of this are the first two posts, with Hasbro being the ones to limit Cosmic Fury to a measly 10 episodes, despite Netflix being interested in more, the seeming circular production hell of Once and Always, and the fact that, for some reason, they only had 2 weeks to film the action footage. Of course, there is still some issues on the production's end, but they seem to have interest in continuing Power Rangers, that's just being stopped by Hasbro's Reboot plans, plans that have been in talks since 2019, Both Cosmic Fury and Dino Fury 2 being stopgaps. This fills into a continual issue that I briefly touched upon before. So, let's talk about the economics of the Power Rangers.

Power Rangers started as a massive success, a series designed on the cheap, basically only filming half a show's worth of generic sit com footage, licensing out some weird Japanese show, and ADRing your new actors over it is an extremely inexpensive production for the kind of action show it is, all things considered. Then, the series got massively popular, selling reprints of pre existing Japanese toys with some new branding, ensuring extreme profits for everyone involved, Toei, Bandai, and Saban. However, after some time, the series starts to slump in popularity, it happens to the best of us. However, Power Rangers, being, again, relatively inexpensive, and still having some cultural relevance, allowed it to stay in some form of existence for the past 30 years. It is a series that has been able to coast, staying financially viable, while still not being a gangbuster success. It persisted, giving a decent living to those around it, and allowing artists to create something fun.

It has been hot potatoed between multiple rights holders, who all eventually saw value in the way it was made. However, we jump to today. Now, Hasbro is cancelling that, as mentioned, moderate success to form a reboot of it, helmed by Jonathan Entwistle, a creator who seems like a decent fit, his two big breaks being focused on teens in small towns doing stuff, a decent fit for at least half of the Power Rangers Pipeline. It is yet to be seen how he will do in the more action heavy elements of Rangers, as again, most of his projects are smaller, but he at least seems interested, also working on some sort of Karate Kid reboot. However, it seems they want it to be bigger in scale. They want it to fit that Netflix Limited Series High Budget, Short Length structure, targeting a slightly more mature audience. However, a lot of this seems to come from one main desire. They want the Power Rangers that was there in the 90's

I don't just mean, "They Want MMPR!" though that is a symptom of this issue. What they really want is the size and growth that MMPR had back in the day. Therefore, they're going to pump their whole ass into this project, shifting it to be whatever would be seen as following the popular Hollywood trends. This, to me, is a secret side reason to hire Johnny E. He fits into that MCU Formula of hiring a relative unknown known for a few smaller, personal projects and getting them to make some big action blockbuster. And part of this is to reboot to MMPR. It is the recognizable iconography. It's the version of the Rangers my Grandma would know.

Now, it seems neat that Hasbro would want to invest into Rangers. However, they aren't really investing into what Rangers is. That has been going already, and it is only a moderate success. That's not enough. It needs to be a massive success. It needs to be the next big billion dollar hit. Which means, while they are risking the money, since they are a business, they will be trying to mitigate risk. Which, again, means they will be trying to make the safest choices possible. This means taking the old iconography, taking out the weird unique ideas and grafting on more conventional ideas. You know, making it like the MCU 5 years too late. This is an infinitely deep hole caused by the visualization of art as capital

Now, of course, most art, when made in capitalism, needs to be somewhat financially viable. This is more extreme in things like Power Rangers as they are toy vehicles, ways to sell other products, a practice heavily strengthened by the deregulation of children's television under the Reagan administration. A lot of what is going on with Rangers right now reads as the hyper extreme of this concept. At least before, Rangers was able to fit in that weird little corner of the toy shelf that had its own campy vibe, flowing with new ideas every year, staying viable through the Power Rangers brand. It is this perfect creative balance where new ideas can be forged while also staying to a single IP. Yes, Sentai footage limits this, but sticking to whatever weird ideas Toei makes forced the writers to push Power Rangers further. However, now, Hasbro is bucking away from the Sentai footage, not to be able to be more creative with the brand, but to be less creative. Bringing it to be the old Power Rangers, rather than anything new. That's why I am sceptical. And a lot of what has been discussed has only cemented that in my mind.

If anything, thanks to Simon Bennet for keeping with Rangers for so long, for making one last ride, even through Hasbro can suck. And thank you for liking my silly, pessimistic tweets. And godspeed to Johnny E, I hope you can make something good.

[admrlthundrbolt]

Perfect World (David x Cubby Reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The leader for the Woodscouts is on pick up duty for the Lake Lilac dance. How will David react to seeing an old rival in such a romantic setting?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys. I'm back at it. This is a favorite series of mine. It just took me a while to decide what direction to go in. Hope you enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------------

Gwen was checking off the list of things needed for the dance. Food; check. Decoration; check. Fliers; check. She slumped into a chair at her desk and breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was falling into place. A large grin spread across her face. With any luck she may even be able to play match maker.

“What's got you so happy Co-Counselor?” David said, leaning over her desk excitedly.

Falling out of her chair with a shriek, she laid on the floor and frowned. “I’m excited the kids get to have fun tonight.”

“I’m sure they’ll have tons of fun. When should we pick up the other guest?“

Looking back at the list she shook her head. “We don’t need to. A Woodscout leader volunteered.” Squinting down at the list she read the name off. “(Y/N).“ She glanced up, but had to double take at the expression in his face.

“(Y/N), but I thought she was with her Grandfather this summer.”

“Do you know them or something?“

A blush bloomed across the bridge of his nose. “We’re old camp rivals. She's the only girl to ever get into Woodscouts.”

Gwen interrupted him. “How is that possible? I thought Woodscouts was an all boy group.”

“It was, until she got in. She proved herself, by doing the task to receive the most difficult badge. I still don’t know what it was though.“ His mouth shifted into a frown. “We’ve been competing since the moment we met. She's just so perfect and pretty.” Throwing his hands in the air he left the office in a huff.

Gwen could feel her smile grow. Not only could she play match maker with the kids, but it seemed a certain Co-Counselor could use some love assistance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night had arrived, but no one was socializing. Gwen was confused. It was only The Camp Cambell kids, but they were awkwardly shuffling around. Maybe the other campers would liven up the party. Then the mess hall doors swung open. With Pikeman and Sasha fighting each other to be the first ones through.

Only to have a full figured women to step between them. “I love the enthusiasm kids. Though a true leader would understand when the moment deserves a gentler touch.”

Pikeman stepped to the side and cleared his throat. “Oh course. After you madam.”

Shasha bowed and stepped to the other side. “No, I insist.”

With a soft smile the woman stepped forward and thanked the two rival campers. She then ushered the other guest into the mess hall. Looking around her eyes widened when she noticed Quatermaster and made her way over to him.

Gwen was in shock. How could she keep two of the biggest trouble makers of rival camps from fighting. Looking over at her, she was even more shocked to see Quatermaster smiling while talking to her. Maybe David was right about her being perfect.

At the thought, she saw him come from the kitchen with a worried look. “Gwen, i’m not sure that the kids are having much fun.”

She also frowned. If she was going to play match maker, she would need more intel. “You know, I think you’re right. Go see if there's anything in the cabin that might help.” She said, pushing him towards the doors.

He perked up at the suggestion and darted out the front entrance. “Great idea!”

Sighing in relief at him not noticing you, she walked your way. “Hey there. My name is Gwen. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

You greeted her with a bright expression. “Hi, I’m (Y/N). It's great to finally put a face to a name. You wouldn't believe how much Pikeman goes on about you.”

With a grimace she immediately changed the subject. “I was shocked I didn't see you earlier this summer. I had to bring one of our camper back after an incident.”

Your face shifted to a more somber look. “I would like to personally apologize for that. I was away caring for my Grandfather at the time. I had no idea that things had gotten so out of hand in my absence.” You placed a hand to your chest. “Please believe me when I say that I handled the boys punishment myself. I would also like to reassure Max that under my watch that will never happen again. “

Gwen blinked in disbelief at you. She felt like she had been through emotional whiplash. It seemed like all apologies she had received until now had been worthless. She honestly didn't know where to start. So she said the first thing she could think of. “Is your Grandfather ok?”

You gave her a watery smile. “Unfortunately he passed. But I know he is better off now that he's not confined to a bed. I only hope that he is unburdened now.” You placed your hand on her arm and sniffled. “Thank you for your concern.”

If she didn't already know David was into you, she would definitely shoot her shot. Shaking the thought from her head, she looked around the room. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Spotting Max she directed you towards the troublemaker.

Where another shock was had. Max smiled when he saw you and seemed happy to talk with you. It was like she had been thrust into the Twilight Zone. But seeing the way Neil blushed at Erin got her back on track. Time to play cupid!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was falling apart. No one was with the right person. Including you and David. You kept missing each other. Although that could also be her fault. But David kept saying her plans were interfering. When he obviously didn't even realize that he was into you.

Whatever, her last ditch effort of a slow dance with partner switching would solve everything. Then it all turned bad. She had somehow been forced into Pikeman's arms. Until David came to the rescue.

“Gwen I thought you were staying out of it.” His look of disappointment did more to her self-esteem than she like to admit.

“I was just trying to help.” With a heavy sigh her shoulders sagged. Until she noticed you heading their way. “But I can get at least one thing right tonight. “ Before she could get another word out you spoke.

“Do you mind if I cut in?”

A shocked look crossed David’s face. “Sure thing.”

As he went to walk away you caught his hand. “I meant with you Davey.”

His face tinted with a blush and he nodded. Wrapping his other hand around your waist as you brought yours around his shoulders. “I’ve been trying to catch you all night, but you were always out of reach. “

Your soft expression and plush body were throwing his heart into overdrive. “I wasn’t sure you would make it this year. With your Grandpa and all. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Glancing at him through your lashes you smiled sweetly. “Thank you. That means a lot, especially coming from you.”

Gwen was going crazy behind the snack table. You were obviously into each other!

His brows furrowed. “But you’re perfect.”

Your smile dropped. “What?“

He held you a bit tighter and shook his head. Looking you in the eyes he said. “You’re perfect. You always have been. What you’ve accomplish with the Woodscouts. How all the kids resoect you and like having you around. Heck you even took care of your dying Grandpa and still came to camp. All in the same summer. How can I not see you as perfect?”

Your eyes shine with pent up emotions. Glancing around the room, you faced the snack table. “Hey Gwen. Do you think you can hold down the fort for a few?”

Slowly raising her head above the bowl of chips, she grinned sheepishly. “ Yeah, I think I can manage that. “

With that handled you pulled David out the doors and towards the lake. Heading to the shore you grabbed a few stones and skipped them into the lake. Trying to allow the activity to let your thoughts gather themselves.

Not wanting to pressure you, David joined in. He wanted to laugh at how much further your rocks skipped past his own.

You let the last pebble slip from your fingers. “I loved my Grandfather, I still love him. But I only ever joined Woodscouts for his approval.“ Your shoulders sagged at the confession. “It always felt like he cared more about his troupe members more than he ever did me. So I did what no one else had. Got into the Woodscouts despite my gender. But it didn't change anything. I only realised what the real issue was when my younger brother was born. I just wasn’t the right grandchild in the first place.” You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

Only to gasp as arms wrapped around your body. “You're wonderful.” He said it into the top of your head. In that moment you couldn't imagine a better person to share this burden with.

“So are you.“ Shifting to look up at him, you have a heartfelt smile. “Everyday you try to make every child feel special and happy. I wish the Woodscouts would let the kids personalities shine through more. At Camp Cambell they truly get to be themselves. But that’s why I can’t leave my boys alone. It wouldn't be fair to expect them to only follow the rules. “

As you met his eyes, you saw tears building in them. He sniffled loudly and hugged you tighter. “You can come here anytime. Bring the boys around too.” He piercing sobs rang out.

A wail of protest cause you both to turn to a nearby bush. Where Gwen and Max stumbled out from. “I’ll get him back to the dance.” As Gwen dragged the fuming child away, you couldn't help but smile. His comment of David conning the one cool adult, was something else.

“I would love that Davey. I'd even like to spend some quality time together, just the two of us. “ Your cheeks color a bit darker. “If you want to that is.”

Taking your warm hand in his own, he grinned brightly. “Nothing would make me happier.”

As the sound of the party music winded down, you held his hand tighter. Glad to finally have the courage to be open with such a wonderfully perfect person. Not know just how similar the thoughts were running through his mind.

[animeboye]

Remembering Akira Toriyama

On March 1st, 2024, legendary mangaka Akira Toriyama passed away due to acute subdural hematoma. He was just sixty-eight years old. His most famous creation, Dragon Ball, has had a profound effect on the anime and manga industry as a whole. Without it, we wouldn't have had series such as Yu Yu Hakusho, Naruto, One Piece, or many others. On top of how inspirational as a series Dragon Ball has been, it's shaped the childhoods of many kids all over the world, me being one such kid.

Toriyama is one of the few famous deaths that has actually brought me to tears, the only others being Satoshi Kon and Satoru Iwata. Losing Toriyama, for me, was such a sudden and devastating revelation and if I had never gotten into Dragon Ball Z when I was a kid, I don't know if I ever would have become an artist or writer. While I have had many inspirations for becoming an artist/writer, such as Yoshihiro Togashi, creator of Yu Yu Hakusho and Hunter X Hunter, Masashi Kishimoto, creator of Naruto, and Eiichiro Oda, creator of One Piece, it was Toriyama and Dragon Ball which really helped to show me the path I wanted my life to go on. While writing Dragon's World, I've gotten comments from readers who've told me that there were moments where they were reminded of Dragon Ball and with Dragon Ball being one of, if not my biggest inspiration for becoming both a writer and an artist, those comments, to me, are not just some of my favorites that I've ever received, I find them to be some of the highest praise I've gotten.

Alongside Dragon Ball, Toriyama's other works such as Sand Land, which has both a game and an anime series coming out, and Dr. Slump show just how funny and imaginative Toriyama was. His paneling was always so clean and any action scenes were always easy to read and his characters, while not always the deepest, were always full of life and made the series they starred in so much fun to read.

Like many other kids who grew up on DBZ, I also tried on so many occasions to do a Kamehameha or go Super Saiyan. I remember when I saw the episode where Gohan was teaching Videl how to fly and she was focusing her energy into her palms, I tried to do the same, thinking it would help me to fly, too. When a new VHS (yes, we are going back that far) and later, DVD of DBZ would be released, I would beg my grandma or my mom to buy it for me. The same way true for when new Dragon Ball Z action figures would come out. I had to have them all, and I think I actually did have most of them. Then, at fifteen, I sold them because I thought, "I'm going into high school. I need to be a big boy and big boys don't have toys". Heh. Funny how well that thought process aged. Especially since now, I'm trying to find those same figures from my childhood so I can buy them again.

I would often recreate the fights and adventures Goku and his friends went on with these figures I bought, and sometimes, I would make up my own stories. One that I can always immediately recall was Goku and the gang fighting a group that used a seal similar to The Seal of Orichalcos from Yu-Gi-Oh! (also, RIP to Takahashi-senpai) and just like the Seal of Orichalcos, whoever lost that fight would lose their soul, too. Granted, the stories I came up with back then weren't good (I mean, they came from the mind of a little kid, so please be a bit gentle on me), but when you're an Elementary schooler/early middle schooler, they feel like something incredible. It's like you're getting to contribute to this world you've come to know and love and yet, you're the only one who truly knows about said contribution. In a way, it's a really special feeling.

Call me a weeb if you want for saying this, but to me, Toriyama wasn't just another creator. He wasn't just another storyteller. He was my sensei. He was my biggest inspiration and the person who got me to realize where I wanted my life to go. That I wanted to be a writer and an artist. That I had stories I wanted to share with others. Toriyama was someone I always wanted to meet and, I guess now I'll have to wait until I get to Other World myself to get that chance.

Thank you for everything, Akira Toriyama. Thank you for showing me who I was meant to be. Thank you for Dragon Ball and for allowing it to be such a staple of my childhood. I'll be hoping your family is doing well and are remaining strong in these times. May you rest in peace.

[jimothy-hopkins]

Meddling Kids IX

WARNING! This work/series contains mentions of slut shaming, EDs, gore, implied torture, implied SA, SH, violence, and many other things that can trigger some viewers. I will also mention that this work does NOT intend to glorify, romanticize, normalize, or promote ANY of these behaviors or ideas. That is not who I am and that is not what I stand for. Please do not take that message away when you read this.

Wawa

Jimmy woke that morning with a pounding headache. His left temple throbbed with agony. That punk knew how to land a hit, that was for sure. His vision was blurry for a moment before his eyes finally found a focal point at his door. Jimmy contemplated attending his classes for the day, thinking it was better to go easy on himself. He likely had a concussion, but Jimmy remembered his grades. So much for laying in bed all day.

He sat up with a groan, pulling open his nightstand to fish out some Tylenol. Jimmy popped two, chasing them with water he had on his desk. He grabbed his go-to uniform and dressed. Jimmy checked himself out in the mirror before he left his dorm to catch Pete and Gary at the library.

He walked the campus, hearing angry gossip. At first, he figured it was over something trivial and petty, like prep vs. greaser smack talk. However, this was very different. He noticed that irritability among the jocks was more prevalent. Every single one of those roid donkeys was making threats through gritted teeth. So, he did what any nosy student would do; go to Christy Martin.

He jogged to the school building, finding the perky redhead instantly.

“Christy! Wait!” He hollered.

She turned, “oh my god! Hi, Jimmy!” She smiled, looking down at him.

“UH, quick question. I know the mascot got taken, but what’s got the jocks all wound up?’ He asked.

“Oh yeah! Last night some Heartland kids came and vandalized the field, fieldhouse, and took the mascot,’ Christy explained, ‘it’s like, so stupid, and like, childish.”

“Good grief, who even are the Heartland kids?”

“You don’t know? Oh my god! They’re like, our biggest rival in like, everything Jimmy,” Christy gasped.

Jimmy nodded, feeling like an idiot. He’d attended Bullworth for a semester and hadn’t known their rival until now.

“Anyways, I’ll see you around! Bye, Jimmy!” Christy grinned, giving him a flirtatious finger wave.

He smiled, shaking his head. What a cutie. Jimmy turned on his heel and power walked to the English class he shared with Gary and Pete.

As soon as he sat, Jimmy got hit in the arm.

“Where were you, moron?’ Gary snapped.

“Ow! Chill out Gary! I was tryna find out who stole my mascot!” Jimmy tenderly rubbed his stinging skin.

“Your head,” Pete mentioned.

“Yeah, I tried to stop ‘em. Some punk guy took a cheap shot 'cause he was taller and bashed me in the head with bolt cutters.”

“Awe, you want me to kiss it better?” Gary teased, leaning over his desk.

“In your dreams,” Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“You’re missin’ out James, but ok,” he chuckled, slumping back in his seat as Mr. Galloway began his drunken lecture.

English class wasn’t eventful at all. The only work Galloway gave them was vocabulary and the occasional ACT prep work. So most of the students just talked while Galloway napped on his desk. Easy A, easy way to dive deeper into what was going on with Alice’s case. The three boys went behind a bookshelf that his a corner from the rest of the class. Pillows and blankets cushion the area. Often they’d sit here anyways, so it wouldn’t be out of the norm to see the trio of trouble in the back corner scheming.

“So, what do we do now?” Pete asked.

“Go to Heartland,” Jimmy stated.

Gary and Pete slowly turn their gaze, looking at Jimmy like he had eight eyes and an extra head.

“Are you crazy?” Pete asked, scrunching his face in unease.

“If you’re suicidal, Jimmy, I could refer you to my brother,” Gary suggested but was slapped upside the head by Pete.

“What?” Jimmy squinted.

“Listen, my big neanderthal ginger friend, Bullworth kids do not go, to Heartland, ok?” Gary sighed, his cold hands clutching Jimmy’s shoulders tightly.

Jimmy narrowed his eyes, looking at the two like idiots.

“L-look man! Heartland kids hate us! And if we wind up on their turf we’re dead!” Pete whispered.

“Oh, come on! I’ve kicked almost everybody’s ass, and that includes Russel’s. What’s so scary about these kids?”

“They have nothing to lose,” Gary answered.

Jimmy shook his head, “whatever. I’ll see you two at lunch.”

A class block later, lunch began. Today was, unfortunately, mystery meat Monday. God only knows what Edna concocted in the witch’s gumbo pot to create it. Jimmy sat with the bullies, closest to Trent. The blonde had his arms around Jimmy’s waist with his chin rested on his shoulder. Jimmy poked at the pulled pork burger, squinting.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Trent asked, adjusting his hold.

“Where Edna gets this from,” he grimaced.

“I bet it’s probably not even real pork,” Trent chuckled.

“Probably,” Jimmy shrugged, taking a bite of the dull, sickening burger.

He felt a lump in his throat form, swallowing hard to get the disgusting lunch down. Jimmy would much rather live off Beam Cola and raw potatoes than whatever slop this was. What reason was there for the food to be this bad? What was Crabblesnitch even doing with all that money Derby’s dad donated? It seemed to all go into a bottomless bit, or to the football team.

“They probably have no more funds after blowing it all on the stupid football team,” the redhead spat.

“You’re tellin’ me man, Ms. peters is making all the costumes for the play by herself cause of budget cuts,” Trent sighed, glaring towards the jocks, more specifically Kirby Olsen.

“Wound’s still fresh?” Jimmy glanced.

“It’s just getting old. It’s on and off. You saw how he bailed on me at the theatre.”

“Don’t worry man, always here for you,” Jimmy patted Trent’s back.

“Awe thank you,” Trent chuckled, “promise to attend the play?”

“Promise,” Jimmy nodded, giving Trent a kiss before the bell rang.

They parted ways, Jimmy picking up his skateboard and walking to the iron gates.

“Moron! Where you going?” Gary asked, snatching Jimmy’s shoulder to turn him around.

“To get my shit back, duh.”

“Not without us dumbass.”

“Y-yeah! We’re a care package, right Gary?” Pete jogged over.

“Right!” the brunette nodded.

“Well, you bitches better grab a bike,” Jimmy snorted.

“Gary doesn’t know how to ride a bike.” Pete blurted out.

Gary slapped Pete “will you shut up femboy!”

Jimmy cracked up, but quickly restrained himself. “Pete how about you take my bike and have Gary ride on the pegs and meet me at the bus stop in town?”

Pete nodded, catching the keys to Jimmy’s tiny bike garage.

With that, Jimmy pushed off, skating down the streets and roadways until he halted at the bus stop. After a few minutes, Pete and Gary rode up and discarded the bike. Jimmy could always steal it back anyways. When the bus pulled up, they paid their tickets and boarded.

The ride to Heartland Academy was around thirty minutes or so. For most of the ride the boys spent time plotting on how they were going to sneak in- their vests would make them instantly stick out. That was not a good thing.

The plan was set. They’d toss their vests, walk by a prefect, get dress coded, then would buy heartland uniform vests. Perfect.

The trio hopped off the bus and stood outside the campus gates. Like Bullworth’s they were wide open, which was concerning. Anybody could walk in, even criminals.

“Take off your vest moron! Do you wanna get jumped!?” Gary spat, taking Jimmy out of his thoughts.

“My bad,” he replied, chucking his Bullworth vest into the bushed to join Pete and Gary’s

“Ok, act natural,” Gary urged, taking the lead and entering the campus.

Jimmy awed at the campus. Heartland was so nice compared to Bullworth, or maybe he just knew it all too well. Students passed, not even giving the three the time of day. So far so good.

Gary scanned the area, waltzing into the vision field of a prefect, initiating step number two.

“Hey! You three! Where are your uniforms?” The tall boy demanded, marching ver and coming to a robotic stop.

“Oh, we’e new and we never got any,” Gary lied, making himself look convincing.

The boy sighed, softening his posture, “follow me, I’ will show you where you can purchase your uniforms gentleman.”

The triad trailed behind the prefect like ducklings. He guided them up the stairs and into the main building. He winded through a few hallways before coming to a school spirit shop.

“Here is where you’ll get uniforms, they’re free since it’s your first time getting them. Enjoy your time at Heartland Academy boys,” he bowed, walking off to continue his rounds.

“See? It worked. I’m clever,” Gary laughed, pretending to flip his hair as they rummaged through the rather expansive options.

Jimmy had picked out a dull red vest with the school crest embroidered onto it. Gary opted for a long-sleeve scarlet cardigan wth gold trim. Pete went with a muted rose cardigan.

“Ok, what class is it today boys?” Gary grinned, turning to Pete and Jimmy.

“Uh, down that hall,” pointed pete, leading the charge.

By this point, students had began to file into class. Jimmy searched the crowd, looking for one of the mascot stealing dipshits. Specifcally the punk. He pushed through people whilst simultaneously trying to follow Pete and Gary.

He saw him. That tatted-up, spikey-haired- pierced freak.

“That’s one of them,” Jimmy growled, hustling to follow the guy as his friends caught up.

Jimmy wound the halls, following behind the jackass until they entered a classroom.

It was clearly some type of anatomy class. Diagrams of human body systems decorated the walls, and in the corner stood what looked to be a real human skeleton earring a straw hat, sunglasses, and flower lei. Some grim sens eof humor the teacher had.

Gary grabbed Jimmy’s shoulder, pointing him to a a empty row of seats in the back of the class closest to the windows. Jimmy followed, sitting down as he tried to act as normally as he could.

The teacher walked in. He was a man in his early to mid forties. His hair was dirty blonde with a few gray spots. He t]was also lanky with a somewhat athletic build. The man wore rectangular framed glasses with gold accents. His outfit consisted of irons khahi slack, brown dress shows, and a red cardigan with the sleeves rolled up. Jimmy also noted that he looked quite timid, with sad eyes.

“Hello everyone, how’s your day been?” the man asked, turning to the three with confusion. “Oh, are you three new to my class?” he sked.

“Oh uh, yeah. We just got here today,” Jimmy answered.

“That’s great! I’m Mr. Joiner, but you can also use Mr. david if referring to me by first name is more comfortable,” he smiled.

Jimmy nodded. Hm, David Joiner. He reminded Jimmy of Ms. Philips, only shy.

Gary turned back to face.

“He looks like my brother’s boyfriend Danny,” Gary whispered.

‘Your brother was gay?” Jimmy looked back.

“I dunno,” he shrugged.

Today was going to be full of fun, that was for sure.

[mirrorballsss]

pjo fandom y’all listen up here i need some help

so we all know the sun and the star is out in the world rn right and i’ve been seeing so much about it and i really want to read it! so what’s the problem here you may ask? I NEVER FINISHED TRIALS OF APOLLO AND I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO FINISH IT! i dnf’d the second book about 100 pages in because i was falling into what would become one of my worst reading slumps and j just never got back around to finishing it. ik the big thing that happens in book 3 (i knew it like a year before reading pjo actually) so it’s not like i’m avoiding too many spoilers every day, but there’s still some weight over me that makes me wanna finish toa. however, i don’t really have toge time energy and motivation to finish the whole series, so i was wondering if i should really just read some summaries somewhere or find someone in here to give me a good summary of the books and maybe some plot points i should know if i want to read tsats. maybe one day i will finish the whole toa series, but i just can’t rn so i need some help :)

please interact the best you can to spread this and sorry it’s so long!! i give my biggest thanks to everyone and have an amazing day 🫶🫶

[pennyserenade]

hey, miranda! any recommendations for someone who’s been in a reading slump?

miranda’s pseudo-book club / X

cynthia, hi!!! —

you asked this at just the right time because i’m coming off an awful, three month long reading slump, and i’m trying my best to catch up on my reading goal (as you’ve seen lol). i find when i’m in a reading slump, shorter, punchier stories are better for me than slow ones that require patience. having said that, i’m going to go against most of what i just said when i say that i broke out of my reading slump with the ballad of songbirds & snakes by suzanne collins. songsbirds & snakes is the biggest of the hunger games series, and sometimes slower to the punch than the others, but it worked for me because i had the motivation of needing to finish it before the movie came out. and i did! but i understand that might not be a motivating factor for all, so here are two short, impactful stories i read recently that might also help:

i who have never known men by jacqueline harpman. this is a short story about a woman who lives in an underground bunker with a bunch of other women, and who has for as long as she can remember. as the title suggests, this character has never met known a man, and she hasn’t really gotten to know what life was before they all got trapped. as the story unravels, you slowly begin to learn little bits about the women while also exploring what humanity is through the eyes of someone who knows nothing very little about it. this is incredibly heartbreaking, but insanely good.

small things like these by claire keegan. this is another short story centered around the scandal about mother and baby homes in ireland. in the story a local coal merchant discovers something that forces him into a difficult position. while this veers towards bleak a lot of the time, i found the ending to be heartwarming and inspiring.

[sungbeam]

hi beam :33 i am here to shower you with love!!

1. i feel like i have so much fave fics from you, particularly the love in unity series but i do think party people and off the record hold special places in my heart <3 i remember when i first read off the record </3 like i feel like i dont express it ENOUGH but it was around the time i was very disconnected from tbz... and somehow ur fic really just PUSHED ME to write and post... and after that, reading party people really just reassured me that yea deobiblr is back!! going back to tbz is what i need to do!!!

6. kind of transitioning to this, i remember vividly reading ur fic in a starbucks because i was waiting for grentperez's concert here and literally my friend was just watching me REACT TO THE FIRST PART. i was literally telling her "oh mygod i am BACK IN DEOBILAND" BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD?!??!?! I FEEL LIKE IT WAS JUST A REMINDER OF MY BIGGER DEOBI DAYS U KNOW and im back stronger than ever

8. i just love ur plots in general. im very much a big fan of just not romance-centered media in general and i really love all the details you put into ur fics esp with the reader and the boyz themselves!!! like for me, it means so much that they have their own arcs/stories!! esp as a big fan of slow burn and just character development I LOVE IT!!!

11. i am hoping for some more jacob fics.... HELP i am just so crazy in my jacob delusions and i know i dont need to ask for more jichang ones bc i rest easy knowing u and i are the biggest kyubodans

13. i talk abt u and ur works so much to my besties actually :') my besties are big caratdeobis so i always recommend ur works to them

i love you beam! you always inspire me tbh :') so glad i got to know you and i am always rooting for u!!! so excited for what else you have in store for us

moni, my lovely, thank u so much for your words, both here and in prose <3

raaaaah !!! it always means so much to me to hear that i was able to inspire u out of ur writing slump :')) i def know how that feels,,, getting into the boyz and p1h was what got /me/ out of my writing slump and i somehow whipped up party people 💀 im just really happy that i was able to find more of deobiblr or maybe even inspire deobis to come out from hibernation w that fic skfnkenfkf

LOL starbucks is like my writing place half the time istg 😭😭😭 omg you reading otr in a starbucks makes me so skcnkrnf im like jumping around in excitement cuz idek !! and pls (´Д⊂ヽ im crying im really really happy that my fics could haul you back to deobiblr cuz we wouldn't be the same without you 🫂 and thank u for always reccing my stuff to friends !! it means the absolute world to me, i get do tender-feeling :'))

and pls, ik u of all people would def appreciate the non-romantic arcs !! i really do enjoy creating and developing friendships and outside relationships—it just adds an extra layer to the fic besides just the romance itself 🤧 and omg i promise i'll get more cobie content out >< the other day i was thinking of posting drabbles of this one au i had written for him, so whenever i don't have a new fic to post, you'll def see it 😎

i love you moni, thank u again for all ur support and love 💖

[hanaasbananas]

Power to Play Chapter 5

A series of ficlets each based off a song from the McFly album Power to Play

AO3

Prev//Next

I'm Fine

“Wh– get away from me!”

Ladybug blinked, startled as the akuma victim pushed her hand away, scrambling backwards to get away from her. All around them, the miraculous cure was doing its work, knitting everything back together and repairing the city but the woman didn’t seem to notice or even care, her eyes fixed firmly on Ladybug as she got to her feet. 

The woman swayed slightly and Ladybug offered her hand again. “Ma’am are you–” 

“Don’t .” The woman spat out venomously. “I don’t want your help.”

Of course she didn’t. Ladybug suppressed a sigh, her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. She half expected to see another akuma coming their way, but the sky remained blessedly clear. 

“Right. Okay then,” forcing a smile, Ladybug turned to Chat—who had been watching the exchange with a furrowed brow, his mouth drawn into a thin line. Her earrings beeped. “Chat? Will you uh..will you get this lady down safely from here? I have to go.” 

“No problem, My Lady.” Chat extended his baton and addressed the woman, his voice noticeably harder. “Come now, madame.”

Not trusting herself to say anything else, Ladybug simply nodded and zipped away, trying hard to ignore the feeling of Chat’s gaze on her retreating back as her eyes burned with unshed tears.

She should have been used to it by now. Had thought that she was, but anti-Ladybug sentiment had been growing in recent months, with multiple articles and news outlets questioning her ability as a hero. 

Chat Noir was her biggest defender against it all of course. Though she’d asked him to take a step back and be less vocal after he’d had a go at some people who had suggested–to her face–that she give up the mantle of Ladybug entirely, that she should pass it onto Chat Noir and ‘let real heroes sort things out’. 

She had never seen him so angry. A few other outlets followed his example, trying to push back against the negativity when she herself couldn’t.

It didn’t help, however, that Hawkmoth had decided to take advantage of people's resentment of her, fanning the flames by sending more and more difficult akumas and specifically akumatising those who seemed to have a problem with her.

Generally, she tried to avoid reading anything about herself–Alya had even taken her phone and muted any and all variations of the words ‘Ladybug’, ‘Paris’ and ‘hero’ on every social media platform that she had and it had helped, but…to see such vitriol in the eyes of the people she was saving…it was still jarring and took her by surprise every time.

Ladybug sighed, her shoulders slumping as she landed in the empty backstreet behind her flat and detransformed. She would get through this. Public sentiment changed all the time– Alya had told her multiple times– and this would blow over soon, she was sure of it. In the meantime, she couldn’t let it affect her. 

She wouldn’t let it affect her. She was fine. It was all fine.

*

Chat Noir had a large folder with him when Ladybug met him for patrol later that evening.

“What’s this?”

“How are you doing?”

They both spoke at the same time. Ignoring her question, Chat set the folder down and patted the space beside him. Slinging an arm around her shoulders when she sat down, he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Immediately, she felt the tension that had been thrumming through her body all day melt and Ladybug sighed contentedly. 

For a long moment, they simply sat there enjoying each other's company in silence until Chat spoke. “You know, I really let that lady have it earlier for being so rude to you–”

“ Chat!”

“What?” He said defensively, pulling back to look at her. “Did you really think I wouldn’t say anything?”

Ladybug sighed, this time, for an entirely different reason. “No,” she admitted. “But you shouldn’t have.” 

“Look, I know you’ve told me not to but I saw your face earlier when–” 

“It just caught me by surprise, that’s all.” Ladybug interrupted. “It always does, that doesn’t mean I’m not alright.” 

Chat didn’t seem convinced but she didn’t care. He didn’t need to know that she’d made two cakes and three batches of cookies that afternoon in an attempt to stop herself from wallowing in self loathing; to forget the hatred that had twisted the akuma victim's expression when she had seen her. 

He definitely didn’t need to know that she’d cried for twenty minutes when one of the cakes had ended up overcooked.

“C’mon, let’s go patrol.” Ladybug rose to her feet and stepped past him.

“Ladybug.”

“I’ll go um…I’ll go this way.” Unspooling her yo-yo, she prepared to throw it when Chat grabbed her by the wrist, stopping her. 

“My lady.”  Chat’s voice was low. Still holding onto her wrist, he turned her gently to face him. He regarded her steadily, his green eyes soft and swimming with concern. “You can’t keep bottling this up. It’s not healthy.” 

Ladybug swallowed past the lump in her throat. “What do you want me to say?” she cried out. “I have to be fine! I can’t afford not to, because what if I get akumatized? Then what?”

“Then–”

“Then we’d be screwed, that’s what! ”

Chat was staring at her, wide eyed but he did not try to interrupt, standing quietly as Ladybug pulled herself out of his grasp and began pacing back and forth. Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. The dam had finally burst, and a torrent of words poured uncontrollably from her mouth. 

“And–and I don’t know what they want from me–it’s like they’re just waiting for me to explode so they have another reason to hate me and I just…I have to be fine because otherwise they’ll know that they’re getting to me and get worse!

“You know, –sometimes I just want to shake these people and yell at them that I’m trying my best ! Why can’t they see that?  

“I wish I could just get mad and say fuck you to all of them, you know? All those people going on panels and dissecting every fight like they’re somehow perfect and would have done better!” She scoffed. “I’d like to see them try to do what I do every day.”

Breathing heavily, Ladybug looked back towards Chat, startled to see that he had moved to stand right behind her.

“C’mere.” He enveloped her in a hug. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Ladybug closed her eyes and let herself relax in his embrace. They stood like that for a while until Chat pulled back slightly to look down at her fondly. He was smiling. “Feeling better?” He asked.

“I–” Ladybug paused. She was surprised to realise how much lighter she felt after her outburst, how the weight seemed to have lifted from her chest. “Yeah, actually. I am.”

Chat shook his head ruefully, gesturing to the discarded folder at his feet. “And here I thought we’d have to set fire to all these articles–” he wrinkled his nose, “no, they aren’t articles, more like rag pieces. Whatever–point is I thought it might be cathartic to–”

“To burn them?”

“I mean…” Chat shrugged “I don’t think we need to now. Unless…” his raised his eyebrows, expression mischievous. “You want to do it?”

Ladybug was already reaching for the folder. Laughter was bubbling up in her chest–the first genuine cheerfulness she had felt in a long time. “ Absolutely.”