#this song just hurts and ive never had a breakup what

[juniestar]

Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

[da-rulah]

I have a lyric ask!!! This is so fun! (Sooo many to choose from!)

“You'd never want me to appear

You'd never want it to be over”

NSFW with Copia, Papa IV or Secondo please!!!!

Oooh I love this song so much. I'm gonna hit you with a little bit of angst, here... 😏

NSFW, MDNI! copia x f!reader

TW: Angst, breakups, aftermath of a breakup, emotional sex, unprotected sex, pentrative sex.

Staying away from him was killing you. But you knew this was for the better, with his ascension to Papacy he merely did not have the time nor the energy to give you what you needed anymore. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It didn't mean you didn't miss him, crave him, love him still - every day.

It was killing Copia, too. He'd let you go without much of a fight, understanding your need for more that even he wasn't sure he could give you now. Still, he was drawn to you like a magnet. He didn't have time, but he made enough of it to check in on you, to watch from afar and torture himself constantly in between his meetings and various responsibilities.

He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't be apart from you and watching how you went about your daily activities with such a sadness lingering over you, he was so sure you were struggling with this too.

One evening, you found yourself on clean up duty after dinner service, scrubbing at the banquet tables in the dining hall long after the last siblings had wondered off to bed. You were taking your time, mulling over your heartache in peace while you scrubbed at the surfaces.

As deep in thought as you were, you hadn't heard his footsteps on the stone floors. He wanted to speak, to garner your attention but words failed him. Everything he'd practised over and over in his head seemed so foolish now you were here, in front of him.

It wasn't until you stood upright to clean your sponge in your bucket of soapy water that you noticed him, and jumped out of your skin when you did. The sponge flew from your hand, and you stumbled back against the edge of the table you'd just scrubbed clean.

"Mi scusi, I... I didn't mean to frighten you," he reached out for you, but thought better of it, his hands turning to fists, leather gloves squeaking as he retracted his arms. "I don't know why I came, I know you don't want to see me."

Your heart broke all over again, his gaze full of shame burning holes into the floor beneath him willing it to open up and swallow him alive. You had seen him around with his new face paints, new outfits. He didn't look like himself anymore, and yet, underneath it all he was still very much the same man you loved. It ate you alive to see him so grief-stricken.

But you had no words of consolation for him, nothing to comfort him. You didn't know why he was here either, but a part of you was glad he was.

"I had to see you," he said weakly.

"Papa..." you started, but the title felt foreign to you. You even caught his wince.

"I don't want this to be over," he whimpered, looking up to meet your eyes. Only now could you see the tears gathering there. "Do you?"

"I-I... I just don't know how it can-"

"Do you want this to be over?" he asked again, taking a step towards you desperately. He was so close to you, towering above you as he searched your eyes for an answer when you failed to give one immediately.

"...no," you admitted. Of course you didn't, you never wanted that. Not really...

Copia didn't even think, there was nothing stopping him. He grabbed at your waist, pulling you close to him and crushing his lips to yours as if it were his last. For all he knew, it could be. If he couldn't kiss you, he wouldn't be kissing anybody. You were it for him, you always had been.

His kiss knocked the wind out of you, and having already been unsteady on your feet as you leaned back against the edge of the table, you have to grip onto his waistcoat just to stay upright. He thought you were going to push him away, but instead, you only pulled him closer.

His hips pinned you to the table, his hands so large and strong on your waist to hold you tightly against him. Immediately, everything you'd ever felt for him rushed through you, and you couldn't remember why you ever thought being apart from him was for the best.

"I'll... I'll make it work... I swear," he promised between kisses. All you could do was nod, chasing his lips to make up for lost time. You had no idea how, but you had to try. you couldn't bear this separation any more.

Neither of you could think straight as the seconds passed, just needing each other as close as possible. Copia couldn't help the way his hips rutted against you, how his hands grabbed at your hips and his cock swelled beneath his trousers. You couldn't help the soft moans that left your lips, how your hands wove into his hair, how your thighs spread to accommodate him.

Before long, he was pushing you to sit properly on the edge, lifting the skirt of your habit up past your knees and bunching it around your hips. You frantically tugged at the laces that held his tight trousers together, losing your mind while Copia's lips trailed down your neck. There was no time for pleasantries, frankly you needed each other immediately.

You rolled his pants down just enough past his ass, letting his length spring free. You spat into your hand before taking his length in it, lathering him up knowing that the arousal between your thighs wasn't growing as fast as the need to feel him again. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut and groaning at the feeling.

Copia gripped the underneath of your thighs, lifting them to wrap your legs around his waist. You took the hint, letting go of his length and pulling your underwear to one side to give him access to your core. For good measure, he spat into the palm of his glove and lathered himself again, before running his fingers once through your folds and stepping in closer.

You pulled him back down to you for a kiss, and as you did, he slowly pushed inside you, savouring every moment. His jaw went slack, interrupting your kiss as the two of you took in a deep breath, his groan harmonising with your own moan when he had nothing left to fill you with.

Given a moment to compose himself, his hips started to rock into you, slowly building up a pace until his thrusts were frantic. It was as if he as scared you'd disappear again, and all he could do was hold onto your hips with the tightest grip as he derived pleasure for the both of you.

You pressed your foreheads together, both of you stabilising yourselves that way and maintaining intense eye contact. Already, pleasure was building inside you like your body had given itself over to it, to him.

"P-Papa..." you whined.

"No... Don't. Don't call me that," he practically sobbed. "Copia to you. Just Copia." You nodded, pulling him into another kiss.

Truthfully, you believed him. He was just Copia, still your Copia. Had he struggled to balance his time when he'd gained the title? Absolutely, but maybe you'd been hasty, already too hurt to give it a fair go. He deserved another shot; you both did.

Copia slid his hand between you both, using the tips of his fingers to draw circles over your clit to get you to your climax quicker. He knew he wasn't going to last long, his emotions far too intense to have the energy to stave off his undoing. But being selfish has got him in this mess, ignoring you was the reason he'd lost you - whether that was his fault or not, he wouldn't let that happen again.

Before long, both of you were on the edge, ready to climax together. The frantic kisses you shared ended when he held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him.

"I need you here..." he panted, "Need you with me." Tears spilled over your waterline and you bit your lip to stop the sob, gripping his wrist.

"I'm here, I'll stay," you promised, just as your orgasm began to rip through you. You cried out, grip on him tightening. you'd have thrown your head back if Copia wasn't holding your chin still, watching you let go beneath him as he tried to stop himself too. To no avail, of course.

Copia came inside you with a growl, hips stuttering as he filled you. His cock kicked inside you, shoving you from your orgasm ebbing away into a state of oversensitivity but you let it happen, watching through hooded eyes as Copia fell victim to his climax.

It took a little while for you both to come down, heavy breathing slowly returning to normal as you held each other. Copia started to pepper gentler kisses to your neck and jawline until he regained enough emotional strength to look you in the eye.

"Come home with me tonight..." he invited, his paints running with tears and a light sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Okay," you told him shakily. Visibly, the weight from his shoulders lifted. You saw him relax, watched as his fear of rejection melted away. You had no idea how badly this had been affecting him, how willing he was to make it work.

He never wanted to do this without you. Becoming Papa should have been the single biggest achievement of his life, and he wanted you there to celebrate it with him. But the work had got in the way, and the celebration had been short lived. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

He'd never neglect you again.

[pells-beautiful-wife]

Shattered hearts and bottles

Zoro x reader

Warnings:angst, angst without comfort, drinking, arguing, established relationship, breakups

I'm so, so, sorry but yall are suffering with me

Inspired by this song:

He knew he should have been softer. Should have listened to you. But it was too late now.

Your argument still stung his heart as it replayed in his head, as if the first time hadn't been painful enough.

He clenched his fists tight. Slamming his left hand into the wall leaving a huge dent.

It hurt more knowing you would stay with sanji out of spite.

He could hear you both know. He knew you wouldn't cheat you weren't like that.

Why did he have to get so mad?

He lifted the bottle back up to his lips taking a lengthy glug.

He moved his legs slightly the countless empty glass bottles clinking together.

It took a lot to get zoro drunk and right now he was cursing that fact.

He wished the alcohol would wash away the image of your hurt angry face.

Wished the alcohol could take away the fact that he was the reason for that expression.

You and sanji had just been cooking, and he had to get all protective over you, well fuck him.

"What do I do now ive added the chicken?" You'd fretted.

"Calm down love, just add the stock and stir it."

"Oh ok."

"Whats this?" He'd asked.

"Oh sanji was just teaching me to cook?" You'd replied innocently.

"Oh he was?"

"I'm sorry is there an issue?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" He'd felt the rage stur in his stomach.

"What?"

"You know what just keep flirting with shitty brows."

"Flirting? No zoro we were just cooking."

"Oh so that's what you call this?"

"Yes because that's what it is," you'd stiffened going on the defensive. "Do you think I'm lying?"

"Yes."

"Why? What have I ever done to make me unloyal in your eyes?"

"I-"

"No I don't wanna hear it. Why are you so... frustrating?"

"Me? Woman have you met yourself?"

"Yes I have but I've also sadly met you, and with how your acting right now I wish I never had!"

"How am I acting then?"

"Like an incompetent child denied a toy,"

"At least I'm not flirting with some third rate cook."

"Neither am I!"

He had scoffed, causing you to place your hands on your hips eyebrows high.

"If you have something to say say it!" You spat.

"Why bother, your obviously to bussy with him, you know what why dont you just fuck him while your at it."

"Zoro!" Sanji warned.

"And you, stay away from her, the only thing your good for is food, fucking remember it."

"Zoro leave sanji out of this."

"I'd love to but your the one you fucked him into this!"

"Omg do you even have a brain in there, or is it just as empty as your heart!"

"At least I have a heart, bitch!" He'd regretted that instantly. But that hadn't stopped him. "Why are you even here you can't fight, you can't think and you most certainly can't fuck!"

"Me? Zoro you can barely take two steps without getting lost! All you do is sleep, to be honest all you do is take up space!"

"And your just a whore!" He spat.

"I can't believe I fell in love with you," you'd said in disgust.

"You love me?"

"NO! NO I DONT! NOT ANYMORE!" Her face stained with tears.

"You don't mean that?"

"Try me!"

"Whos acting like a child now!"

"Leave us alone zoro."

"No I'm not leaving you alone with him," he had pointed to sanji.

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" then she'd thrown the wine bottle.

The shards of glass didn't hurt half as much as her words.

His heart hurt.

You'd confessed your love in that argument.

But had zoro ruined things?

That moment wasn't what he expected he'd never considered being in love with you but now, after that he realised he did.

He was madly inlove with you and he worried that now you'd realised you didn't love him afterall.

He felt suffocated, he had been rendered blind to all but his thoughts and the bottle in his hand.

His tears run free down his cheeks and trickling down the glass of the bottle.

His eyes stung slightly.

Oh how he wished you were here to hold. Here on his lap nesting into his chest as he burrowed his face in your hair.

He instinctively wrapped his arms tighter but finding nothing but himself.

He sobbed into his elbow. Tucking his knees up higher.

In his head he could hear you voice asking if he was ok. He lifted his head throwing it back against the wall his hand clutching at his shirt over his heart.

"DAMN YOU!" He cried out his tears coming thick and fast. His head throbbed but not nearly as much as his heart.

He didn't doubt everyone on the ship had heard his scream but it didn't even compare to the screaming of his heart.

He stood quickly, lobbing the still half full bottle at the wall. The throw caught him off balance and he stumbled forwards causing him to fall to his knees.

His knees stung as the bottles shattered under his weight.

No one had come to check on him, he could hear them comforting you. More proof he was in the wrong.

His strong fist thudded against the floor inpailing glass into it.

"FUCK!" He sobbed.

His head spun at his own voice, he seemed to have skipped the drunk stage and gone straight into hangover.

Grabbing another full bottle he sat back on his knees and downed that one too.

If you were here you would rub his back and scold him for drinking so much.

But you weren't and every breath he took was a sick reminder.

He needed comfort too. But he didn't deserve it. Rolling onto his back his threw his arm over his eyes sheltering his gaze from the throbbing lights. Or maybe it was his head that was throbbing.

If he could take it back he would.

You deserved better than him. Maybe Sanji could treat you better.

Sanji? What the fuck was he thinking?

He swigged his booze again.

Had he lost you forever now? You'd argued before but this felt more real. He'd never made you yell before let alone cry.

What if you really didn't want him?

He couldn't stand this, this unknowing, this turmoil.

So ignoring his pounding head, he stood leaving the bottle he stumbled through the door, down hallways until he was in the kitchen.

You were sitting on the table crying into sanjis shoulder and nami rubbed you back.

"Hey, um," he rubbed the back of his neck, not quite able to slurr out your name.

"You!" Nami seethed.

"Can I talk to her alone," he slurred slightly.

"Zoro your completely intoxicated, I don't think you want to talk to her now," sanji offered.

"I do," his gaze slipped to the floor.

You just sat there head on sanjis shoulder, listening.

"Ok but we're staying!" Nami glared at him.

He just nodded.

Sanji and nami took a couple of steps away and zoro strode over to you. Standing just a baby step away from you.

"Uum, I just- I'm sorry," he spluttered, the other two exchanged a shocked look. "I over reacted and, i shouldn't have said, any, of those things, I was just mad but not at you, at me. I guess-"

He looked away gritting his teeth fists clenched.

"I guess it made me realise I love you too!" He finished looking to you with bated breath.

You both stayed like that for what felt like hours but was probably only a few seconds.

"Zoro," you said softly, tilted your head up to his. He saw your face, scarily absent of tears. "I'm sorry but, I meant what I said."

Cold fear gripped his heart and twisted his gut.

His heart thudding in his ears as cold sweat covered him.

"I don't love you anymore," you smiled gently.

His head spun this time for a completely different reason.

"I've decided to leave, there's an island pretty close by, I'm going to stay there."

His own tears threatened to fall.

He could see himself reflected in your gorgeous eyes. The same eyes that had once looked to him with such love, now completely void of emotion.

"Oh, ok!" His voice shook as his lip wobbled. "I understand!" He wiped his eyes quickly exiting the room.

The door clicked shut behind him and he collapsed against it not bothering to hide his sobs as they echoed across the whole ship.

[9w1ft]

This might be too conspiracy-theoryish, but we’re amongst friends… do u think it’s possible that Taylor and Karlie want ppl to think they’ve been apart. So that if things do play out where Taylor formally comes out (let’s be real, she has come out many times lol) we can see they were together and then found their way back to one another? Maroon, for example.

oh yeah for sure i think this is plenty possible, if not more probable than many other scenarios. i think sometimes you might see me or others use the phrasing “public reconciliation” and that, to me, refers to the idea of working towards publicly making amends, finding their way publicly back to one another, and this being something separate from the truth of how they might actually be privately

i think it’s possible because personally, i don’t think taylor would go back and correct the record and be like oh the feuding i made that all up! —at least not anytime soon— because i think that these gaps in their story, a haze, if you will, would be kind of necessary to protect certain parts of their truth. so while i don’t really agree with the idea that they broke up but got back together, i’m not out there actively picking that line of thinking apart as an argument because i think this way of thinking about it is important to have exist given the circumstances of what i think the truth could be.

i’m not saying taylor would make up songs entirely. like, i think taylor can sing about one thing but present it as another. i mean hey, that’s something she’s always done, in a way. that is, she can tick both boxes: songs as a form of personal truth expression and also packaging it as a means to an end.

there is a nice collection of songs that a lot of people have come to consider kaylor breakup songs that i’ve curated other interpretations to, that strongly fit the major beats of what would have had to have transpired over the last several years. since you brought it up as an example, i have an idea that maroon might be about losing the 2016 election, and losing a public reconciliation narrative, as opposed to breaking up, for example. hoax, as a lot of us talked about at the time, can be about actual hurt in a long term relationship without having it be a breakup song. etcetera etcetera. honestly, slowly uncovering these things little by little has been so enthralling and has made albums like folklore and even moreso with evermore and midnights in particular so incredibly fascinating and mind blowing to me in terms of what she might have been able to get away with singing about.

i think that if you spend time with it and think hard enough on it and consider a lot of things, it’s possible to grasp that full picture. but i think that there is also an intentionality to how one can also just accept that they once had a moment and that the feuding narrative pushed by gossip magazines was real and that they (pending it happening of course) found their way back to one another. and in terms of probably never seeing eye to eye with all gaylors on it, well, ive made peace with that 😆

[sea-dwelling-wizard]

my interpretation of stolas and blitz's relationship + ranting that goes nowhere

just look my way was the most beautiful mv ive ever seen. stolas 😭😭😭😭😭 bbg are you okay (he's not)

i've read through the comments on this video and i agree with, well, all of them! one really struck me, though:

i love this theory!

i have another one to add to this; several, actually!!

can the moon signify blitz's heavy emotional barrier? blitz is shown hiding behind the moon's outer crust in a protective position.

what i think is that he's protecting his heart, his soul; one that has been hurt many times in the past. he's suffered through the accident that led to fizzarolli losing his arms, his horns, etc., he's been through a breakup for a relationship that meant to validate his feelings, that yes, he can love, he could have someone love him, but all that happened was a breakup and public humiliation at asmodeus's lounge. and then there's his presumably dead mother and frustrated sister.

blitz doesn't want that to happen again. he's built such an emotional wall around his heart and his body that he doesn't realize stolas loves him. he doesn't want to get hurt. he's shown tucked away into the depths of the moon, curled up.

now, stolas--

i've been thinking about him a lot. the end really got me theorizing. he falls into the water, and he reaches his hand out only to 'drown' and wake up to reality, the asmodeus crystal on his desk.

i love that segment of the song so so much!!!!!!!

my favorite depressed owl boy hshshshshshshshhshs ily stolas <3

the moon affects the waves of the sea. it reflects its light on the water and no matter how far they go, they always go deep. the moon provides light for the creatures above and below. the sea is deep, it's alluring, and it drowns those who are too weak, cowardly, or overconfident.

stolas is drowning in it. the sea implies his deep feelings for blitz. what started as a one-night affair led to something more, and that was love. he's never been in love, and all this is new to him, but he's being acknowledged yet pushed away by blitz (see emotional barriers above). i feel like their emotions are mutual; however, neither can express it properly.

stolas is trying so hard.

at face value, blitz seems... ignorant? cold? busy? i, on the other hand, think he's trying not to get too close. there was a theory in that episode's comment section that blitz is not too educated and is trying his best to communicate. i have mixed feelings about that one.

the lyrics signify stolas letting blitz making his own choice, whether he wants the crystals or if he wants to continue the deal. i fear blitz will have the wrong idea on seeing the crystals. hopefully they clear everything up??????????? i might be hoping too much for a show that's bound to end in tragedy 😔

one more thing!!!

in the truth seekers episode, stolas had blitz on a leash.

could this mean that blitz thinks stolas is truly in control? that stolas decides where their relationship goes from now on?? stolas is royalty, so its natural blitz thinks so. he looks scared? hesitant? is he too hesitant... to do what? to accept stolas loves him? to accept that their relationship is bad in a way? to accept that he loves him? to accept what?!

stolas is smiling in this scene, but it was all a truth poison trip, meaning that's how blitz perceived him before. in the later episodes, i feel like this perception changed. it still hurts to see this, though.

tl;dr: the sea, or the water body seen near the end of the mv can either be stolas's deep feelings for blitz or a metaphor for his chaotic life. blitz has protective walls around his heart to protect himself from further harm. blitz feels stolas is in control of their relationship.

dear god this show is so well written- i could write more but alas i have other things to do

[b3rrymilks]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞. // 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 “𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐟𝐞𝐲 - 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞“

✰ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : “she’s just a friend” until you spot them both a bit too close for comfort. slowly progressing through the breakup, you just can’t seem to fully let go. ( miles 42 will be known as milo and is miles twin )

✰ — 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂 : “i’ve done the math, there’s no solution we’ll never last. why cant i let go of this?”

✰ — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : sad stuff😞 that’s all😛. MILES 1610 I STILL LOVE YOU.

✰ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : miles 1610 x gn!reader (there is a mention of wearing mascara?? idk sorry if you’re uncomfortable.)

𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐀𝐘.

while cleaning out your room, you spot a polaroid of you and miles in the kissing booth. ‘i’ve done the math, there’s no solution we’ll never last’ you both were two young kids in love, with not a single care in the world. tears welled in your eyes as you ran your finger along the small polaroid. “sweetie?? you ready to go??” your mother called to you from downstairs. quickly wiping your eyes, you take the photo and pick up your last remaining bag. when you walked down the stairs your mother saw the smeared mascara on your eyes and pulled you into a hug. “any last stops?” she softly asked. “can i go see him? for the last time?” your voice was so quiet, not knowing if this was a mistake or something that would cure the wound that held you two together. ‘why cant i let go of this?’

“we’re here honey, but you can’t take too long our plane leaves in an hour.” nodding at the reminder, you got out of the car and looked up towards his window. your hand shook as you held it up to knock on the door. you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. “cmon..” you quietly urged yourself. finally placing three knocks on the door, you stood there. ‘i made a promise.’

the door flung open and there he stood, eyes red and puffy. you two both stood frozen for a moment, observing each others features. the tears swelled in your eyes once again. his lips were parted but nothing came out. ‘to distance myself.’ you couldn’t take a second more of the silence, throwing yourself into his arms.

he squeezed your waist as you both broke into tears. the entire morales family knew you were moving, but weren’t allowed to see you due to the state you were in because of the breakup. miles buried his head into your shoulder as he lifted you from the ground but held you carefully. the sound of you both sniffling filled the space around you, and caused the morales family to all come to the door. “i’m so sorry y/n. i’m so, so sorry.” miles spoke through his sniffles as he continued to hold you. “i’m sorry too.” you returned the apology and remained being held by the boy you once loved so deeply. ‘it hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you.’

mama rio, uncle aaron and milo stood at the door to watch the exchange happen. finally pulling away from miles, you gave hugs to the rest of the family. when you got to rio, she pinched your cheeks. “if you ever come back, you’re always welcome here, to the morales home.” her words made you smile through the tears. ‘i broke my promise,’

when you got back into the car you saw miles waving while still wiping tears, being held by his brother and mother. while riding to the airport, you felt a weight had been lifted from your chest and you felt less empty. folding your arm against the window to cushion your head as you watched the buildings of brooklyn pass by. only to fade into your memory. ‘no matter how long i resist temptation, i will always lose.”

✰ — 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : uMMM IVE NEVER ACTUALLY FINISHED WRITING SOMETHING THAT IVE HAD IN MIND FOR A WHILE 😕 but umm ik my writing isn’t perfect, but uhhh tehe i just wanted to write this because Laufey’s music makes me wanna curl into a ball and sob violently. 🧍🏽‍♀️ sorry this is short but it’s basically all i wanted to write. the lyrics aren’t in order of the song, they’re in order because of what they say.. if that makes sense… MAN IDK😞 ART CRED : thokzu on tt ☺️

[dual-fantasy]

duncan is simultaneously the funniest fucking guy and super tragic to me. i think hes The Worst Ever because its a way of acting out against his dad. funniest shit ever and devastating. Everything about duncney as a whole leaves me in hysterics and also clutching my chest crying punching holes into the walls. he is killer phoebe bridgers to me. can the killer in him tame the fire in (various romantic partners he swore were the one then broke up with 2 days later). or is there nothing left to do for them. hes sick of the chase but hes hungry for blood. and theres nothing he can do. hes a dog motif in a really specific street dog way you just have to understand. in a wolf way, even. but in a rabid stranded starving way. he is the only heartbreaker as well btw. he'll be the loser in this game he'll be the bad guy in the play. eric is a duncney song but in a way you would not expect. it is the duncney duncan pov song ever actually. she can come closer he'll let her hurt him how she chooses. this view of her of the top of her head makes him forgive her. her skin cries a soft weep like his. his price how about just a part of her cause he wants. shouldve been me is THE duncney/gwuncan song ever. courtney pov. when she saw the girl looked just like her and it broke her heart the lengths he went to have her to get to have her. cause she hasnt given him what he needs. he wanted her but couldnt reach her. so he went into his memory and relived all the ways he still wants her. shes sorry it shouldve been her. thought ive had in my head for over a year. its literally Them. a loving feeling is the aleduncan 90th breakup song. theyre compatible but only behind closed doors. they mean a lot to me actually jsut like . In General duncan and duncan ships by extension are mitskipilled. mitskimaxxing, even. GRAVE DOG!!!!

frrrr you're so real but if im going to comment on Duncan I need to confess something. Ive never finished watching action. ive gotten to like ep 20 I still have literally never finished it. I know that he has a lot of moments in there but I haven't finished it for some reason. I understand you but also I'm not as insane. feel free to keep screaming about him because I completely trust your opinion . I'll probably finish action soon because you are dragging me into the duncan hellhole. I love characters who are so silly and stupid and also absolutely devastating if you think about it too hard. literally peak characters.

dog motif but in the way that he was abandoned by everyone because they weren't aware he was actually a wolf. he keeps finding new homes but he gets kicked out after a day. he's rabid and scary and he's desperate for a secure home, but he can't admit that because it goes against his nature. everything hes ever known.

I love duncney too btw. Courtney is such an interesting character to me but I cannot put it into words. I love her though. absolutely love her. she's so complicated and nuanced. Courtney is for the intellectuals (joking). same with gwuncan.

also I'm insane about aleduncan. not to be kind of basic but they're everything to me. they can only be with eachother if they're alone. insane about them

I don't have any song recommendations bc school has been fucking my ass recently. moving to an online school while being tech illiterate is actually horrible </3 but your music taste is soooo good. actually top tier. real and genuinely incredible. he's mitskimaxxing, lushpilled, puberty2mogging. grave dog you're so real always

[fragilecapric0rnn]

ive gotta ask for 🔀 & steddie please!

hi Mj! thanks for the ask!

as it seems, the writing gods want to keep the angst theme going...

because CHRIST is this a sad ass song.

I've toyed with the idea in my head of a steddie fic that is more on the sad side, something where they just can't make it work, but good god do they try really hard to make it work. But at the end of the day, they're just two traumatized boys, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. So, for one reason or another, they're perpetually on-again off-again.

This line in particular —

Oh so kiss him again Just to prove to me that you can I will stand here And burn in my skin

— is particularly gut wrenching to me.

I can see it as them seeing each other after their last failed attempt at being together. They're in their mid to late twenties.

Steve moved to Chicago to live with Robin after their break-up, caused by their inability to communicate, both of them bottling up their feelings, only for said feelings to be released in an alcohol induced blow-up that ended in Eddie storming out of Steve's apartment, coming back in the morning to get his belongings and say his goodbyes.

Eddie, thinking that they just need some space, that he can go back to the apartment in a few weeks and try again. Try and make it work again. This time he'll stop drinking. This time he'll try harder. Only this time was the last time, as he goes back to the apartment in Hawkins and sees that it's vacant.

But now, it's years later. Steve didn't think he'd be seeing Eddie tonight. Eddie never made an effort to show up to anything that anyone invited him to in the past. Eddie is the furthest thing from his mind as he makes his way into the bar, the entire place rented out for Max and Lucas' engagement party. Steve showed up with Robin on one side and his newest (and most serious) boyfriend, Nick, on his other side. He was feeling good. Two of his closest friends, celebrating a huge milestone, his heart filled to the brim with excitement.

The night progressed, champagne flowing, Nick chomping it up with his friends and being the charming beacon of sunshine he always was, in every setting, in private and in public. Steve beamed with joy, it was oozing out of every pore of his body. He is happy.

Robin stiffens beside him, grabs onto his bicep, stealing his attention away from the story that Nick was telling Dustin and El about their trip to the coast. As soon as Steve turns his head, sees what made Robin react in such a way, he is hit with every emotion humanly possible.

Standing on the other side of the room, staring at them with a blank expression, was Eddie. His hair was still long, the bangs gone, grown into the rest of his hair. Steve wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there, but there he was. Like a ghost come back to haunt him. He felt 19 again, heart ready to burst outside of his chest, sprout legs and sprint toward him. Not a single day had passed, but the five years felt like fifty. Hard blinks to make sure he's not dreaming, prickles of anxiety draw up his spine. He can't breathe

Meanwhile, Eddie had stayed on the other side of the room on purpose. He had been there all of thirty seconds, knowing damn well that Steve was going to be there, but never expecting to see him here like this, with someone other than Robin.

After the breakup, Eddie spiraled. He didn't leave the house for over a month. Wayne had to coax him into stepping out onto the porch every once in a while to feel fresh air, to remind him he was alive. He never left Indiana. Worked as a mechanic and never dated anyone seriously after Steve. It had hurt to bad. Too much. Kept a safe distance from everyone, well, except Dustin and Max. They wouldn't let him hide for too long. Ironic as it is, considering they were also closest with Steve. But, when they were around Eddie, his name never entered the conversation, never entered the vicinity, who's Steve, type of reaction. Yet, he still spent years rejecting invitations to celebrations, deciding to be a shut in, a recluse, celebrate the wins of life with two of his oldest friends in private.

Until Max and Lucas got engaged. Knowing, this would be the only wedding for either of them. Knowing, Max would be upset if he missed out on these moments. Knowing, he'd see him. He still agreed to show up to the first celebration of many.

And immediately regretted it.

Why didn't they tell him that Steve was with somebody? Why, even if they never spoke his name in Eddie's presence, did neither of them feel the need to tell him how fucking happy he looked?

This was a mistake. He needed to leave before he was seen by Steve.

He really should've guessed that Robin was the one he truly needed to avoid. Steve's second set of eyes. He froze when his eyes met hers. Stood there in the walkway, only a few feet from exiting. In his line of sight, there was Steve right behind her. Looking at his boyfriend like the sun was shining out of his ass.

He couldn't move. Feet further cemented to the ground when Steve's eyes locked onto him.

Kick in the stomach, punch to the neck, air stolen right from his body by the sight of the man who broke his heart all those years ago. The man who's heart he broke right back.

His legs, suddenly uncemented, start moving. But not in the direction of the door. No. For some god forsaken reason, they take him right into the direct line of fire.

As usual, his body and brain never chose the right moments to lean into cowardice.

send me a 🔀 and a pairing, and i’ll shuffle my playlist and make an au based on the first song that comes up

[becomingpotatoes]

unfinished lines for songs and/or poetry that ill maybe use one day but for now they’re just sitting in my notes app

“and i was crying and i was holding you and the world spun to a stop / and i knew there and then that i couldn’t return the love i got”

“i’m gonna fly away to the hometown of my favorite cafe / i’ll teach english there cause that’s the only thing i can do / when i get out of this house everything’s gonna be okay / gripping my japanese goose mug i’ll step off the hallucinatory plane”

“you’re running away from me / and i am letting you leave / to chicago or mississippi / or wherever else you want to be

you’re the worst thing to ever happen to us and you know that / you’re the best thing to ever happen to us and you don’t know that

you’re running away from me / and i am begging you not to leave / to chicago or mississippi / or wherever else you want to be”

“why do strangers do the things they do? / do simple acts of kindness make them feel good / i overthink and overanalyze / every interaction that plays out before my eyes / but in the twelve hours that’ve passed since we met / my thoughts have transformed to purely you instead”

“this is not a breakup song / its a song breaking up every bond that went wrong”

“hey, boy, come here closer, and give me a painkiller / i don’t care how much they cost /i’m incredibly desperate for a pallet cleanser / and i think you’re the perfect one”

“regulate me to the bottom line / tell me that everything is gonna be fine / but she is coming back / oh she’s coming back /and i am just a mouse encased in a trap”

“i hold the knife / like a girl on the sand / with her enemy in / the palm of her hand / and a choice to make / i can stand here making allusions for days / that no one will get

except you / if you cared”

“you see your daughter building with legos

brick by brick she stacks on and on

and you think to yourself,

“what a talented young architect we’ll have one day”

but what steers her onwards isnt the complicated math that decided where each piece should go

what shape and what size and how much space

its the feeling of creating

something from nothing

of things snapping into place

and when your daughter tells you that she wants to be an artist

you wonder where it all went wrong

when she was showing every piece of you since the beginning

you just never

stopped

and

looked

closer”

“i thought i missed being in love but i just missed being strung along”

“a lover at heart who’s touched only once / a kid at their center who craves so much / more than they deserve / and you gave them the world”

“so tear me down / dig up my roots / and let my petals burn / ive gone numb from all the hurt you never realized that you delt”

“i was the venom coursing through your veins keeping you alive / but you had no hesitation to run me through with a knife”

“it wasn’t love it was co-independence / without your help i might not be alive / but that doesn’t mean that i don’t bear scars / from screaming your name into the night”

“and who am i now? / not a girl anymore, but something else / once i was your mirror but now you wouldn’t know my own name”

“ive been starving myself trying to find a way out / is this what dying feels like / if so, its not that bad”

[ohhcalamxty]

hello. its been a while? 5 years actually. what a place this is! what a trip down memory lane of many emotions.

a quick tldr: im 25 now, im engaged and live with my amazing partner and 2 cats. i am ed free (for the most part - i still struggle to love my body sometimes), clean, and i am in therapy! a place i never would have thought id be.

i didnt think id come back here like. ever. but ive been having nightmares of sam recently. its odd isnt it, how the brain works? i havent seen sam in 7 years? since the 2nd june 2018 to be exact, and yet he haunts me. why?

this is an odd correlation but recently i got into taylor swift. her music has been wonderfully cathartic and whilst i never assumed id be one of those girls who screams breakup songs and curses them at my exes....here we are.

TTPD (and most of taylors sad songs) unhealed me, so to speak, or at least awoke something in me. i wouldn't ever proclaim i have had bad relationships. i am always grateful for the time myself and owen spent together, and i am extremely happy with josh (I'd say 2/4 of my relationships being good is pretty huge) but here I am screaming and crying over break up songs at the eras tour and tearing up in the shower because they resonate with a point in my life and put my feelings into words in a way I've never been able to do.

elliot was interesting but i try not to curse his name so much as we were 14 and maybe he didn't mean what he did because he didn't understand consent, or maybe i am naive and too nice - i guess we'll never know because he quite literally dropped off the face of the earth! (Also, minor shoutout for him delaying dumping me because my grandma died! i do appreciate that at least!)

sam however....oh where do I begin with sam!

"Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?"

I think I spent a lot of my teen years reflecting on sam, because well, he fucked me up so much. i mean how emotionally spent must I be to have nightmares of someone who I spent less than 12 months with at the age of 16, and then collided with again for a single night at the age of 19. Clearly we're fucked here.

I cannot find the words to describe you, and I'm unsure what i did to deserve a love like this. You had a girlfriend that you loved and were with for years, and then I (your close friend at the time) got dumped, and you make your move. We hang out a lot, cool, fine, nothing new as we were friends anyway. My mind is hazy on how it started or when we went from friends to whatever we were but it haunts me so much lmao.

The constant talks of i was the one, and that yes I will leave her for you. I fear nobody ever talks about being the other woman because its so odd - it isnt a flex, it isnt cool or sexy. it fucking sucks and it fucked me up but i liked sam so much i believed it. I mean picture this: you're 16, just lost your grandma, heavily depressed, self harming, riddled with an ed and have been dumped but low and behold your best friend tells you he loves you and plays with your hair and holds you. we go on dates and have sleepovers with friends (he still had a gf btw) hes fucked up too but he worries and cares about you more than anyone else, but at the cost of if you try to pull away he hurts himself, and threatens suicide (and believe me he'd do it) - stuck between a rock and a hard place aye.

"And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts - Memories feel like weapons"

Less than a year of back and forth, misery and stringing along. I can't remember how or why it ended but I know it took a lot of attempts of pulling away (and him pulling me back) to get away. A lot of bits are hazy but I can assume it must have been around the time when I met owen? There are old screenshots on here of sam talking to me and they make me feel unwell (not an exaggeration) - his words (even after it all ended) and how he tried to act like he cared makes me feel like a pit inside (even now). I do however find it funny that my posts from 2015 and 2016 about him claiming hes ruined my life don't seem that dramatic now that im 25 and having nightmares about him.

"Oh, God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind - I regret you all the time"

I think I would have been ok if this was it. I don't think I would be grieving my past self, my girlhood, my naivety if this was all - i very much had support through my other relationships to help the sam trauma which i do appreciate. But it doesnt end here does it? Nah thats too easy.

"Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden"

2nd June 2018: Me and Josh had briefly split up. It was Karlies birthday and we went out in HTC (dire) and I guess because Hinckley is a tiny place and everyone goes to the same places we ran into a lot of people (some good some bad) - including Sam.

Ima be honest idk where he came from or who he was out with but there he was, buying me drinks, talking to me, I dont remember much but I can assume I was happy. I do however remember him leading me away, telling me we're heading to the next bar because that's where everyone else was going but we actually were heading in the complete opposite direction haha. god knows where we were going but on the walk we sat on a bench, i cried, i told him off, told him he ruined my life, he told me he'd missed me so much, he held me, i cried more, i hated him and then we just rinsed and repeated as he pootled me up castle street to wherever he was taking me. My friend rang me, I told them I was with sam, people came running (guess they all know hes bad news) and they (including josh, who was my ex at the time and ig technically hated me) beefed him until he left and that was that. I haven't seen him since - i still dont know where he was taking me or what his plan was. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didnt answer the phone, sometimes I wish I hadn't and that maybe I deserved whatever would happen. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, being dramatic, but the trauma of the emotions that 16 year old me feels is still there. It haunts me.

"Don't call me "kid", Don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me"

So here we are. I guess I'm bringing this up at therapy in a few weeks because these feelings won't disappear (and Honestly I'm not sure why they reappeared other than being repressed emotions). I wonder though, has this affected you as much as it as me? Do you feel bad about what you did? Are you suffering? Do you think about me? Do you feel bad that you had such control over me or did you enjoy it? Claiming you've lost sleep over me and that you want to protect and help me? Was any of it true I wonder.

"And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?"

I suppose I'll never know, but I can only hope that memories of me haunt you as much as they haunt me. I hope you get everything you deserve, and I hope I can heal. My skin is no longer the skin you touched, I no longer physically feel you, and I hope one day my memories of you will be hazy and faded, and I don't need to jump at ghosts anymore.

And my therapist wonders why I really dislike men huh.

[plagued-by-dreams]

This last week was mental hell. My mind went through so many decisions, so many replaying of things said. I had told myself that this was the end. That I couldn’t handle the way I was being talked to any longer. My mind was made up and I had chosen me. Then those words rang in my mind, over and over ~ “please give me one more chance.” When you hear a plea like that, it is heart wrenching. But when you hear that plea from your favorite person… from /your/ person, it pulls at more emotions than even the initial fight did. The love is there. The love was there even through the breakup. It’s never left. It’s never faded. When your person comes to you, begging you for another chance, that is them choosing you. That is them coming to realizations and hard facts that aren’t easy to face. I was in my darkest place with him when he asked that. And even though I was so upset, hurt and mad, all I wanted was to hold him. To hug him. To cry on his shoulder. There is love, and then there is soul mate love. A connection you can’t explain. And letting that go is the hardest shit you’ve ever faced. To this day there are songs that I still can’t listen to because they remind me of our break up.

Life is hard. Love is more hard.

There are so many things that affect it. So many emotions and situations that can change things in an instant from good to bad, or vice versa. It isn’t hard to fall in love- not when you’ve found the one that makes every aspect of your heart and soul just soar and reach heights you never thought possible. Love, laughter, adventures, intimacy~ all those things that are just so much more meaningful and better when you’re sharing them with someone else. Someone who you never tire of talking to, being with, sleeping with. There really /are/ so many fish in the sea- that’s no lie- but when you find your match, you know. And that’s not to be taken lightly. You will fight tooth and nail to keep them, to stand up for them, to make them feel safe. They are every priority, every first and last thought. Harsh words can damage, but nothing starts to heal a wound than those words and actions being recognized and owned up to. There is strength in that. Admitting a wrong doing isn’t easy. In fact, it fucking sucks. Ive been there. But that is what shows your value in a relationship. That is what shows you’re still going to war for that person and doing everything you can to keep them. He is going to war for me and I will be by his side through that effort.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” - Poe was right. Because that is us.

[oetscop]

anyway uhhhh im struggling to focus bc my neck hurts like fuck so im gonna talk abt max and dizzy. and like elaborate on the whole "theyre the same person" thing

so max is my truesona right? his name (maxamillion) actually has a personal meaning to me. my whole life ive fought with identity and ive always had this sort of scattered sense of self. a lot of that comes from childhood neglect and housing instability growing up. every time i move or something bad happens i feel like i get splintered off into another jagged piece of myself, and as life goes on the older pieces get eroded away until i cant even remember who that person was.

i dont want it to sound like DID or something, because its not. its very different. these "other people" never exist at the same time as one another or anything like that. sometimes i can kinda call back how i was at those times in a nostalgic imitation sort of way, but like. its still me? i guess? i dont know.

maxxy is kinda based off the sort of shameless open bleeding wound of a person i was at one time. i was loud and wasnt embarrassed by it. i was open with what i enjoyed. i was clingy but oblivious and sometimes unrealistic.

dizzy is sort of like the more "rational" side of myself. he thinks hes smarter than max because he's been hurt more. hes more familiar with rejection sensitive dysphoria and has been through the same sort of really bad relationship and amicable breakup i went through, as well as the fallout that caused my entire friend group to splinter. hes apprehensive and distant and refuses to trust anyone to an unreasonable degree, hence the quotations.

hes perpetually trying to knock max down a peg or snuff him out. he reminds him how annoying he is when hes loud, he constantly tells him that expressing any emotion about a situation is manipulative. a lot of his character comes from the song hope by roar (among others) and specifically the line "if your hearts upon your sleeve, amputate the arm." hes very motivated by revenge.

really he comes from a well intentioned place, but hes also aware that hes being harmful. he thinks its for the best.

and in his defense max isnt a good person either, not entirely. hes terrified of losing people, but instead of growing distant to avoid pain like dizzy, he becomes incredibly clingy. constantly disarming himself and asking what he would have to do to keep someone around. he has no sense of self and is willing to just drop everything for someone. even if they hurt him. hes also insecure and somehow also full of himself.

but like, they are also literally the same person. the same dog, i guess. but they can interact physically with each other. dizzy looks exactly like max, just with mirrored fur patterns and is more desaturated in color. his hair is also like....greasier. and matted. max has really soft hair but dizzy spends most of his time in bed or just at home so he doesnt take care of himself. sometimes max can convince him to let him brush it. they have a very codependent relationship with eachother. well, okay that makes it sound romantic. its more like a symbiosis sort of thing. parasitic perhaps. theyll kill eachother together but theyll die if theyre apart.

it actually started with like..giving max an A/B/NLM sorta thing (since i do that a lot actually! give ocs traits from a specific media i like a lot. one of my other sonas shrinks when hes upset like cassie from dragon tales) but it sorta just became what it is now. idk why?? i still sometimes draw max with a flower on his head tho lol. its hard not to involve that when hes my truesona and care and paul r like........the focal points of my entire identity and sense of self rn lol. but theyre also nothing like max so i scrapped that.

idk this makes liek no sense lololol. theres far more "versions" that i might flesh out in the future? but for now its just the two of em. hooty hoo

[ichigomis]

WHEN THEY HEAR YOU SINGING 'ENOUGH FOR YOU'

inspired by olivia rodrigo's 'enough for you'

with: timeskip! ushijima, hirugami, oikawa

wherein: the lyrics you sing bring back some of his own past thoughts about "being enough"

notes: this has been stuck in my drafts for too long so here it is! spoilers ahead! —angst! to fluff!

❊ USHIJIMA unlocks the front door and drags his body inside, tired from the chaos of the day. he drops his bag and immediately looks for you. his eyes dart to the kitchen where you'd usually be fixing yourself a snack then to the sofa where you'd usually lounge while scrolling on your phone. a small sigh escapes him, he just wants to hold you after a long day. suddenly, he hears your voice coming from the bedroom and makes his way towards you.

he lifts his hands to the door but freezes as he hears you sing:

"don't you think i loved you too much to think i deserved nothing..."

and he just stands there as he hears those lyrics again and again as if it were suspended mid-air. he looks to the doorknob and retreats, clenching his hand to his chest. did you really feel that way?

his feet drag him to the sofa and he plumps himself down, placing his hands on his head. his world is spinning, panic quickly surging through him. he scours his mind for something he did wrong, perhaps he said something mean? or forgot to do something you asked? he slowly drowns in his thoughts, falling deeper and deeper into a spiral.

this was exactly how it was with his parents.

he's suddenly brought back to screaming and shouting in between their fights as he pretended to fall asleep. he's brought back to dinners without his father and playtimes without his mother. he's brought back to his father's indignant words, "will i ever be enough for you?" and his mother's sour reply, "do you think i deserve nothing!?"

he thinks back to the day his father finally left and how he heard his mother's secret cries every night. he can still vividly see his mother's sullen eyes, her forlorn stare, and her joyless smiles.

then he sees you.

your bright eyes, your doting stare, and all the joy in your smiles. all that for him—all that he can and will lose.

he doesn't think twice, he pushes himself up from the sofa and his current state and immediately bursts into the room. you whip your head at him questioningly but then you're enveloped in his hug. a tight hug that feels as if he was scared to let go, and he was.

"i'm sorry," he whispers shakily.

you try to push him back to see just what has gotten into him but he burrows his head on your shoulder, dreading to see the worst possible outcome.

"toshi, wha-"

"don't leave me," his voice cuts through the air as he pours his whole heart to you, "please."

you breathe in feeling his weight on you, "i won't," nothing makes sense but you know him enough to know that at moments like this, he only needs one thing, "i promise, toshi."

he nods, still buried in your touch and you don't have the heart to pull away. he breaths, calming himself down, hanging onto your words for dear life.

❊ HIRUGAMI watches as you carefully fold laundry on the sofa, gazing at you like a lovesick puppy. you keep to yourself, humming to the songs on shuffle, and work on your task. sundays are designated cleaning days at your home but you honestly don't mind. not when after a long tedious day, you can cuddle with hirugami in a clean and organized house, just the way you two like it.

you take a disheveled sweater from the basket and start to neatly fold it on your lap. suddenly, that song that has been stuck on your head for days comes into shuffle, and you clear your throat. nothing's going to stop you from belting out olivia rodrigo like you actually just had a breakup. not even when your loving, sweet boyfriend is just a few meters away washing the dishes.

hirugami quietly listens to you, keeping himself from thinking too much about the lyrics slipping from your lips.

"and you say i'm never satisfied,"

he knew exactly what it felt like to not be enough, to never be satisfied. to feel as if every mistake lessens your being and how things only seem to get better if you beat yourself up. he knew all too well what it felt.

he did the same to himself before, he didn't think he was ever enough. he was never satisfied with his serves, his blocks, his strength, himself. he beat himself up and blamed himself for everything. and he knew all too well what happens when you do.

"but i don't think that's true."

in the time he's known you, he's made sure that you knew that you are enough, more, even. his compliments never run out, his attention never wavers, he made sure he filled you with love to the brink. but he knew that sometimes, that is still not enough. for most times, feeling as if you are not enough is a one-sided battle with yourself.

"'cause all i ever wanted was to be enou—sachi?" you stop to see him sitting in front of you, his hands softly on your lap.

you open your mouth to speak but you're suddenly pulled into his arms, engulfed in his warmth. he shakily breathes in and pulls you in even closer, eliminating any space between you.

you rest your hand on his hair and stroke it lovingly, not having the faintest idea of what's going on. suddenly, you feel him relax and you take that opportunity to pull away and stare at his face. he stares back at you, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

your heart just sinks. "what's wrong sachi?" you ask brushing his cheeks.

he sniffles and sits beside you, "you're enough..." he mumbles.

you tilt your head, confused. suddenly, you hear the song finish and everything just clicks together like a solved puzzle. "i-i was just singing sachiro! there's nothing else to it!" you take his hand and squeeze it, "i swear, you know me."

he looks at you intently then nods his head, convinced. but still, something pulls inside him and he can't help himself. "i just want to make sure you know that..." he whispers.

"i know," you cup his face in between your hands and smile, "i know and that's all because of you."

❊ OIKAWA listens in as you hum to the songs on the radio, utterly in love with you and every little insignificant thing you do. a familiar soft guitar breaks him from his trance and shifts his thoughts from you. and if he wasn't in such deep thought, he would have instantly started singing olivia rodrigo with you.

but he's suddenly brought back to that time.

he's brought back to that time in his distant past when he pushed himself to every limit to the point of it almost breaking him. that time he just couldn't break through certain walls and hindrances, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how long he practiced. that time when he felt like he was never enough.

if you're gonna hit it,

at that time it was not more about the ball, it was meant for himself.

hit it 'till it breaks.

there was a time when he felt as if the very thing he dedicated his life to was suddenly meaningless, it didn't bring him the same joy it did before. it was too late to turn back but it was as if he had nowhere else to go. he remembers the struggle of searching for its importance in his life and the way it was a never-ending battle against himself. it was tough, it was exhausting, and it almost broke him.

he stares into space and catches a glimpse of you in the mirror. you're singing as if the world had hurt you, stuck in your own little music video.

he smiles, comforted and reminded.

you look at him through the reflection and wiggle your eyebrows, he knew exactly what he needed to do. he takes a hairbrush from the desk and enters the shot of the mirror, joining in your little escapade.

"and you say i'm never satisfied but that's not me it's youuuUUUUU!"

the two of you belt out as if it wasn't 3 am. if other people saw you two now, they would just shake their heads unamusingly. but he didn't care, and you didn't either.

oikawa looks back at you, and you're looking right back at him with a smile on your face.

he's here now with you after all the things he's been through. he's here now after all his struggles and battles. he finally felt enough—enough to love and to be loved.

and to him these little moments with you are all that matters.

p.s.: ushijima, hirugami, and oikawa have said it but i just wanna say it again: you are much more than enough, my love.

» m. list

[goldenlikedaylight013]

Glimpse of Us

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: im not good with summarys so ill not do one. read the a/n to understand the story better.

warnings:angst and not feeling loved

a/n: i am quite excited about this one even though is not as long as i wanted it to be. i love angst so much and after i read  @hey-kae ‘s fanfic called “secrets he’ll keep” (go check it, i cried a lot) i got extremely inspired to write. this is base on a joji’s song called “glimpse of us” bc that is some amazing music and i cant stop listening to it. also, im still learning how to write stories so please tell what you think so i can improve and english is not my first language so if you see any errors lmk :).

you and charles had been dating for a while now. you have been best friends since your teenage years. you really knew and cared about each other so, after the most awful breakup of your life, charles was the one to console you. that was also when he confessed his feelings for you, feelings that had been bottled up inside his chest ever since he met you and, after seeing you in such a painful state, he couldn't suppress those feelings anymore, he couldn't just sit there and wait for another jerk to break your heart again.

after that you found yourself in such a sensitive state that you just decided to receive his love and not fight against it. charles didn't know that. charles didn't have to know that.

it was not like you didn't love him, you indeed did, it was just a different kind of love and, after trying and trying, you just couldn't make yourself love him the way he loved you.

you were in his apartment, laying on the couch while he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack. this was a part of your routine now, going to his apartment so you wouldn't be left alone with your own thoughts but, here you were thinking about how you used to go to your ex boyfriend’s house just to be with him. charles never liked him, now you kind of know why. he used to say that he didn't deserve you, that  he was no good for you, and that was all true, you knew that but, still, you loved him.

charles sits beside you on the couch taking you out of your pondering. he smiles at you while coming closer. you give him your best fake smile but, that's not enough to fool him.after that you realize he backed off a little, not sitting as close to you as he usually does. “charles…” you start being immediately interrupted  by him “no, y/n. im not stupid, i know you dont love me” charles begins “i've tried to pretend that i don't see it, ive tried to pretend that you actually want to be with me but i cant keep fooling myself” he continues as tears start to stream down his face. you try to come closer to hug him but he just backs off “please don't do this to me, y/n. please stop pretending like you care about me when you're only thinking about yourself” now you are the one crying. the idea of hurting charles made you feel disgusted about yourself. “ i'm so sorry…” tears and more tears from the both of you “...i can't love you as you want me to…i truly don't know why and i can't change how i feel, i've tried and i've failed…im so sorry,charlie.” charles didn't stop you this time, he just sat there crying in silence. “i can't love anyone else,y/n i only love you” he said, breaking the silence. “charles…” “please, don't say anything else” after a moment of silence he stands up “would you like me to take you home?” he asks, not looking at you “yes, please” you say while trying to stop crying. after that nothing more is said. he drives you home, you leave the car and he goes back to his apartment. no goodbyes, no kisses, no hugs, no talking, just a painful silence and probably the last time you'll see each other. that was exactly what charles most feared, the end of you.

[myuni-moon]

[event details]

warnings: yandere content, yandere cult stuff, violence, slight gore

the cards have given you the answers you seek, and everything has been set in motion. here are the themes present in your reading.

Youkai!Cater Diamond

[IV - The Emperor] ; How do they confess?

he doesn't really confess, more like he's already yours. he doesn't need to confess to you because fate has already made it that he's been yours the moment he was born. there's really no need for him to when the rope around his neck says it all, but if you really want to hear how much he loves you, he wouldn't mind telling you just how in love he is with you~

[XVI - The Tower] ; How do they act after a breakup?

in this case, it would mean you wouldn't want him anymore as your familiar. cater would be extremely distraught, borderline manic if you express you don't want him anymore. but he'll have to swallow his feelings and let you be even if it kills him. your happiness will always come first to your familiars, so even if all he wants to do is to stay with you, he'll retract from being your familiar.

[XIX - The Sun] ; What’s their happiest memory with you?

the first moment you touched his tails. he finds it to be grounding just imagining that cold night that you first wondered about the multitudes of fluff swaying behind him, he remembers urging you that it's alright for you to touch them, but anything after the moment you put your hands against the fluff of his fur, he doesn't reaaly recall. all he remembers is the euphoria that ran through his body as you admired his lovely tails.

Youkai!Riddle Rosehearts

[IV - The Emperor] ; How do they confess?

like other familiars, he doesn't confess. you've had him from the very start, and to familiar, there is no real need to announce what's already so obvious. riddle still tends to say some really "cool and heart-throbbing" things akin to confessions, if you really consider them like that. just as i have written with cater, he has no qualms with telling you he loves you if you so wish, but he'd say it with a blush on his face and a flustered expression to match.

[XVI - The Tower] ; How do they act after a breakup?

as an oni, his anger really does get to him. it would never actually be directed at you because he loves you so much that he couldn't even bare to live if he ever hurt you, but the lives of other familiars or anyone around you are not guaranteed. he will become violent, near impossible to calm down unless it's you who has to let him rest after venting his frustrations out on whatever poor soul was close enough to him. it's better to just not say anything about not wanting him anymore, other people getting a few broken bones would be the least of your worries.

[XIX - The Sun] ; What’s their happiest memory with you?

his happiest memory would be just you and him... doing absolutely nothing. he lives for any chance he can get with you alone where he can just be riddle. not riddle the leader. not riddle the oni. not riddle the peacekeeper. just riddle, your familiar. he still dreams of the moment you let his head rest on your chest as you hum a song that lulled him into a slumber so serine that he wonders if he really is an oni.

[awsugar]

Like… surely they HAVE to talk to each other about their feelings, right? Even if they felt okay by the time they agreed to a reunion, there must be layers of just raw emotion to get through. Gerard seemed to genuinely believe he didn’t have a choice and heard a voice telling him *something* that made him decide to quit the band, Frank said he felt like he’d been stabbed but tbh I think it’s easier to recover from a physical wound than being dropped by a friend, losing a job and a dream ending all at the same time, Mikey was going through so much, and Ray posted a lighthearted response to the breakup then went off the grid for the most part. They had their alleged family bbqs and supported each other’s solo work but there’s so much history that no one else knows or understands. They basically shared a life and an identity for more than a decade then it ended unexpectedly and that was it. Even their lyrics. They (you know who) had each other listening to songs saying “fuck you I don’t care” “fuck you I’ll always care” but never let anyone on the outside know what actually went on. Frank does wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s going to say what he thinks or show people through music, and he was hurt-hurt for a very long time, so a little part of me wonders if they ever even found out what Gerard’s thought process was and if they thought it was a valid reason to leave it unfinished. After letting him direct them, put them in costumes and make it so much bigger than anything else anyone in their class was doing so he didn’t get bored, he still dipped and found a new band to preform new songs in a suit, which was what he had been scared of doing when he decided to scrap CW and push for DD. It’s just. It’s the messiest way to end a relationship and it’s almost uncomfortably personal, we know way more than we should but also we don’t know anything? Then the (unconfirmed!) rumours that they’d even consider reuniting without Frank because they felt he wasn’t over it yet and wouldn’t want to even if they asked? I am terrified of the possibility that one of them will write a book eventually and we’ll find out that they actually, not only didn’t speak for a long time, but didn’t like each other for a long time. It’s very possible that’s the truth, I’d just rather pretend it wasn’t lol

yes to all of this like. its just wow. "fuck you i don't care" vs "fuck you i'll always care" is really what it boils down to isnt it...and yea like thats what drives me crazy is that we DO know way more than we should cause these bitches messy but there are still so many gaps?? like so many unknowns.

im certain that the rumor that they tried to do the reunion without frank is made up though bc i asked my friend about it who has a friend very close to the band (won't say who) and they told her that that was a lie and made no sense cause frank was the one always pushing for a reunion when they'd get together.

unlike you, i DO want that frank tell-all. ive been gagging for it for years and gerard always said frank would probably write a book about the band one day. i think it probably is the truth that they were not speaking for a while. i mean you read the lyrics they were writing. but it's fine bc they are best friends again they said so :)