#this whole thing was supposed to be a shitpost guys

[duckysprouts]

crack idea for your scum twilight au: stephanie meyers transmigrates into bellas dad

would be absolutely hilarious if bella’s mom is stephanie meyer’s type however i think if bella saw jacob trying to beat the ever living shit out of her dad she would have questions

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[purpdrawsthings]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

special birthday post 💜

[very long yap incoming 💥]

Edit : this was supposed to be released on midnight yesterday right when it turns 20th in my country but I didn't have time so yeah, kinda upset <=[

IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the time I post this my phone will be well, closed and I will be unable to access it since it's past 9 and it'll turn back on at 7 in the morning.

This was made one day before the bday btw I did not prepare 💔

Anyways..

Todays the day I turn ▒▒ years old! Oh. Why would I tell my age? Gotta keep that a secret!

Funny fact, the 20th of April is also the same date as when the prophet of Islam Nabi Muhammad was birthed! Crazy amirite?

But anyways, I've gone through so many things. Both sad and also wonderful. Life sure is full of possibilities isn't it? I'm in a fandom about beans and suddenly I'm in a fandom about a Saturday morning cartoon mario shitpost? Never thought that would happen but it did, somehow.

The thing is, you'll never know what ever happens next! Prepared or not, you'll always be hit with the most unexpected occurrences. And that's the wonder of life! It's what keeps us interested and curious!

It's okay to change. I used to promise to myself that I would always stay in the among us fandom! But look where I am now. I used to think that I was a bad person for doing that, but now I realize that, it's okay! It's not like the end of the world happens when you leave a fandom you've been in for 3 years!

Looking back at old things may be cringe to most, but it's always nice to feel that nostalgia that you haven't felt in a while! It really shows how much you've grown for the past few years!

I used to be really terrible with animation. Like- really ass. But since 2024, my animations have started to become much better! It just takes time and patience. Thing won't always go your way and you shouldn't rush everything! [ Ironic considering that I always rush stuff 💀 ] Taking your time slowly but surely will pay out and you'll have a good result in the end!

Now those few past paragraphs I literally said earlier made no sense whatsoever considering I just talked about life but in a non rearranged order. So I'm sorry for that one 😭

But anyways, all I wanna say is, thank you. For everything. To everyone here! Involved or not, I could NOT be here if it weren't for you all! You can't BELIEVE how much it has impacted me! I sincerely love you all! 💜 <=3

Being in here for less than a year and having this much is crazy! Like I didn't know you guys liked my stuff! I'm just a silly girl who just draws that's all 💜

For the last part, I'd love to say a few words to some people that I love/admire the most 💜 [ the words I'm about to say may be a bit similar to the ones said in the Christmas special so yeah =[ ]

Neptune - You were my first friend, friendo and best friend. We don't interact a whole lot anymore but I just wanna say, you are an amazing person. You were so supportive and amazing! You always made my day back in amino. And I won't ever forget about that. You've improved so much on your art too! I'm glad to see youre improving so much on your art, and to that, thank you Nep. Thank you for being my friendo. 💜

@rr3d2y - My first friend in the SMG4 community! I WANNA HUG YOU SO BAD IRL 💔 you are seriously such a kind and wonderful person! GENUINELY LIKE YOU SO COOL!!!!! We got along with each other so well like, I didnt know you were that chill smh??? I LOVE YOU AND CHERISH YOU SO MUCH A FRIEND!!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH ME YA SILLY!! 💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

@mikchi8 - Pulls you out and hugs you and shakes you affectionately. YOU TOO MIKCHI. YOU TOO!! YEAH WE DON'T TALK A WHOLE LOT BUT GENUINELY YOU'RE A COOL PERSON!!! LOVE YA YOU FUNNI PERSON!!! 💜💜💜💜

@superluigiglitchy - I will make art of Oliver soon I'LL GET TO THERE SIDHOSHSKDKDHD 😭 PJ I love ur art and the stuff you do like- A LOT! Like that vanellope AU and also the squib! THE SILLY HIMSELF!!! No seriously how'd you make him so cute siudidjdodjdojdodhdidj /silly we don't a talk a whole much as much as we used to but I'm always interested and up for what u're cooking! Love ya ^^ ! 💜

@jmaknavigr @markboyblue - You both are so kind and sweet like JMA YOUR AXOLOTL GIFTS ARE SIYDIDHDIHDOFJF AND MARM YOUR COMPLIMENTS THEY'RE SO SIHDISHDIDHDKHDKSJS I'LL GET YOU BOTH!!!!!! MARK MY WORDSSSSS /silly /jk /nsrs /lh I'M SORRY FOR NOT HAVING ANYMORE TO SAY BUT JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE U TWO 💜💜💜💜

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @cookiepopcat @its-a-me-mango - You four have been like my main source of inspiration like HELPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! YOU ALL ARE STILL VERY COOL TO ME. All of you fours contents are just so unique and well made?? Man that what I really strive for tbh 😭 all I wanna say is you are all creative in your own separate ways and I'll continue praise you four for that, 💥💥💥💥💜💜💜💜

@libbytwq @bear-boi-5 @coralalala64 @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - OKAY I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE FRIENDS/MUTUALS WITH ANY OF YOU. SERIOUSLY 😭. LIKE UH... HOW? You four have like, really cool stuff and people should really see that because y'all are cooking some rlly good art in that kitchen right there 💥 interacting with like all four of you has got to be one of the goofiest and silliest things. Like- sure it's not that chaotic but it can get rlly silly at times and I'm glad for that do what you four do XD 💜💜💜

@michaelscorneroftheinternet @grinnames @dorriostareyes - OH GOD YOU THREE ARE REALLY COOL TOO. Micheal and Dorrio, you boths writing are actually like top notch WHAT ARE Y'ALL COOKING UP WITH CHANGE IN SCRIPT PUT THAT GIF WHERE SOMEONE IS WRITING AND IT'S ON FIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Grinnames you too I know I said this before but ur Godbox au is so interesting very excited to see how that like.. Event... Thing.... Ends =D! You three are all obviously very cool and deserve more recognition 💜💜💜

@alelathedragon - Hey uhhhhh wasn't expecting this huh? I KNOW WE HAVEN'T INTERACTED A WHOLE LOT BUT I GOTTA SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME LEND A HAND ON THE COMPETITION!!! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT AT ALL LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY DOORSTEP ALL THE SUDDEN!! Honestly I love broken star like he's such a silly goober AND LOYBOO TOO. HE'S SUCH A CUTIE!!! Man you so cool. Yeah this is what you get for interacting with me muahahhahaa 💥💜

@eliscz @meg-girumi @theclosetcreature @fbanjex @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @h4ppysoki @dakaakula @icedbeverageenjoyer @jibrilthethingart @stargus0k @hplonesomeart @scimagic @the-masked-astro @yasmin70 @fenicearts420 @mrtophat518 @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @change-name-later - YOU ARE ALL REALLY COOL MR PUZZLES ARTISTS IN YOUR WAYS!!!!! SERIOUSLY YALLS IDEAS FOR THIS SILLY MAN ARE REALLY COOL LIKE THE WAY Y'ALL DRAW HIM, HEAD CANNONS AND THE STUFF Y'ALL DID WITH HIM, ARE ALL JUST REALLY COOL!! Will adore you all till the ends of handsome tv man 💜💜💜 /silly

And these are the list of people that I'd like to make messages to but I simply don't have the time and energy to do that so yeah 😔. Just know that I enjoy you all as equally as everybody else before this!! 💜💜💜

@opossol @shygirl4991 @theartistisme24 @art-parasi-te @fruit-sy @dictatortirah @corgibuttdraws @smp-eclair @psinkaaa @rat-n-atty

And for the last bit! A recap of alllllll of my digital drawings since I interacted online! Enjoy 💜

And that's it!.. There was supposed to be a bit where I yapped more but with my real voice but that got scrapped.. =[

Anywaysssss yeah! Thank you for whoever read this far smh ig you have a good attention span 💥💥💥💥

Have a great day every body and most importantly, happy purpday to me 💜

[sapphic-agent]

The recent meme you posted made me very interested. I want to see the alternate reality where UA is so monstrous that they'd abandon the 500,000 people they kept in their gates during the final war arc because the civilians got mad about hero failures. The fault of this is 100% on the heads of the heroes and the government, by the way. Something that makes the League look weak is the fact that Tomura's brutal killings and dustings don't even cause all the heroes to quit. They don't hear about a guy who plans to destroy the world, shit their pants, and the flee the country. No, these lily-livered, pansy bitches decide to quit because they're not getting the praise and love they feel they're entitled to. The civilians are complaining about them being complacent and incompetent, and it makes these piss babies crack. Tomura and his boys didn't do shit, what happened was their Taxi Service smashed through some cities trying to save them. Tomura called an Uber and Gigantomachia's reckless driving made many heroes decide to hang up the tights. Naturally, it's also the government's fault for having a system so fragile that people are just allowed to quit en-mass like this and leave the country defenseless. Gee, maybe disposing of the military and replacing them with heroes was a bad idea. I say as a half jest. The military was shown once in one of the allegedly canon movies and then is AWOL in the series. They claim the movies are canon to get people to watch them, but this remains a massive plot hole. Melissa Shield exists in the canon manga and Star first appeared in a movie. So where's the JSDF? Ignoring that tangent, all of these aspects makes the meme AU even more fascinating. What happens after the final war arc?

Do people call for the disbanding of heroes? Does Nezu take the chance to appoint himself as the new head of the hero commission? Does All Might replace the prime minister? They'd be dealing with a highly traumatized public who got left out to dry by the people who are supposed to protect them. The heroes killed/captured the villains, but they also left them in the streets to fend for themselves. Hell, there weren't even any shelters that would take mutants besides UA, so I guess we have a lot more people joining that hospital riot. Why would anyone listen to Shoji or Koji when they know what school he comes from? If UA isn't willing to take in civilians, why would they recruit Gentle and La Brava? Nagant might have faith in Deku, but when she gets word about UA's actions towards the people they're meant to protect, is she even going to show up again? If all the heroes are united in this decision to leave the civilians to hang, why? What makes normally kind people suddenly act like this? Is this another situation where like Hawks' and Endeavor's actions, all of the heroes have a unified front and justify it? It would make the later Dark Deku arc even more hilarious when class A comes to drag Deku back because he's actually the only person doing anything for these people. You'd have whole refugee camps setup near UA where people are waiting in the hopes that UA lets them in. UA's selfishness changes Deku's arc from an open world survival game to a hub world mission board adventure. Because the villains would primarily exist where the people are, they'd target the refugee camp. So he'd stay there to defend it. The author of the meme, if it wasn't a shitpost, probably didn't think through the implications but it's wild to imagine.

I do have to agree that the heroes 100% came off as pussies.

The casualties were not as extreme as it was made out to be in-universe. Endeavor, the strongest at this point, was still alive. Most of the top 10 made it out unscathed with Crust being the only death. The only relevant death to us as the audience was Midnight. Musha quitting because he was getting backlash means he was only in it at all for the ego boost, fuck him.

The heroes deserved the backlash they got. As soon as things got hard, they turned tail. After they failed to keep things under control with the inside information they got from Hawks.

But now that you mention it, UA closing its doors on those people would actually improve Dark Deku in a way (I mean, it would make UA worse but I'm not opposed to that because UA is kind of a symbol of the corruption of hero society. So I'm fine with it coming off as terrible). Because it reaffirms that he did the right thing running away to help people. This would be his first time resisting the systems of hero society which would justify the arc name Dark Hero.

Deliberately making UA lean into that corruption could have improved Izuku's character a lot

[hellfiresky]

Bro, what the fuck?!

Summary: Hound was your best friend and you tried to play matchmaking with him because he was a lonely dog boy.

Pairing: ARF Trooper Hound x F!Reader Word Count: 10k lol Warnings: Long. Lots of curse words.

Join the taglist if you’re interested Taglist: @orangez3st, @msmeredithrose

Working for the Republic was a pain in the ass. The politics were a mess, the office was more guarded than the Republic prison, and “normal” days off didn’t exist. Whilst the rest of Coruscant got a whole week off during New Year Fete Week, you got - drumroll please - one day. One. During the new year day. And then it was right back to the grind.

The only good thing about your job was the massiffs. At first, they were just part of the scenery, stationed near the checkpoints with their guards. You’d pass by them like everyone else, eyes forward, no sudden movements. But over time, that changed. First came the smile. Then a little wave. Then you started sneaking them treats, just to see their tails wag. And saying hi to the dogs meant saying hi to the ARF troopers, who were always close behind. You didn’t expect them to be funny, because most Coruscant Guard troopers were always too polite, but they were. Real shitposters in armour, especially when they figured out you weren’t some uptight Republic staff. One of them taught you how to say “fuck you” in Mando’a. Another made a game of seeing who could sneak unregulated sweet treats for the massiffs in the weirdest container. 

But out of all of them, Hound was different. Maybe it was the running. You both had a thing for early morning jogs, less a shared hobby, more a coping mechanism. You remembered it perfectly: one foggy morning before work, you were making laps around the Federal District when you heard panting behind you. Not the “this guy’s out of shape” kind of panting. The animal kind. Big, heavy, and a bit way too close for your liking.  Shit, rabid wild massiff, your brain screamed as you picked up your pace.

“Aye, aye! Calm down, it’s me!”

You nearly tripped over your own feet spinning around. And there he was. Armour off, breathless, sweating, and somehow still managing to look presentable with those curls matted under a backwards cap. Grizzer skidded to a halt in front of you, tongue lolling, tail thumping. He immediately nudged your thigh with his big head like he hadn’t just scared you half to death.

“Gee,” you panted, scratching Grizzer behind the ears, “where did you come from? Those shoes carbon-plated?”

Hound let out a toothy grin, a little too proud. “Finally cashed in my BAS savings. Got these new training runners - they got this super flexible bouncy soles and this stabilising tech that’s supposed to reduce ankle impact by 38 percent.”

You raised a brow. “You memorised the spec sheet?”

“I read the entire product page,” he said, completely unashamed. “Twice.”

You laughed.

“I’m joining the Corusca Bank Marathon next week,” he was practically bouncing in place. “Command finally gave permission for us to join public athletic events as long as we don’t wear the armour. You believe that?”

“Wait… really?” you brightened immediately, pushing sweaty hair off your forehead. “Me too! That’ll be my fourth marathon this year!”

His eyes widened. “Fourth?! Stars, I haven’t even done one. This is my first. But did you know we get free electrolyte gels at every checkpoint? And also the running kit? I just picked it up yesterday and it came with a free water pouch and t-shirt! And there’s a gear expo the night before with, like, vendors and giveaways? And they’re handing out real physical finisher’s medals, not just holograms.”

You laughed again, unable to stop yourself. “You sound like a tourist.”

“I am basically a tourist! Trotting around the planet but was never allowed to participate in any civilian events.” he grinned. “Do you know how long I’ve been begging for a pass to run in an actual sanctioned race? They even waived the registration fee for clone troopers. Said something about ‘military goodwill visibility’ whatever, I’m not gonna argue if it gets me a free bib.”

“Oh my god,” you wheezed, “that’s actually really nice!”

“Yes! The bib even has a chip in it to track your pace.”

“I’d rely on my chrono for that, but that would make a good comparison. What wave are you starting in?”

“Third. Group C. The ‘highly enthusiastic but most likely underprepared’ bracket.”

“You’re such a nerd,” you burst out laughing. Meanwhile, Grizzer flopped at your feet, huffing through his nose. He knew the signs. His handler had entered Chatterbox Mode. He wasn’t getting home anytime soon.

“Hey,” Hound gave you a mock-offended look. “I trained for this! Ran loops around the barracks courtyard every morning until Thorn yelled at me to ‘stop making laps and put more work into strength.’ You know, cause we don’t wanna lose this baby.’” He flexed one arm, biceps gleaming with post-run sweat, grinning.

With both hands on your hips, you clicked your tongue. “Ah yes. The greatest fear of distance running. Not shin splints. Not plantar fasciitis. Not knees turning into gravel. No. It’s losing muscle mass.”

“I’ve worked very hard on these arms. And thighs. And legs.”

“And you think one single marathon’s gonna vaporise them?”

“Maybe! I’m not a medic, I didn’t get a physiology module!”

You snorted, covering your mouth as you broke into another round of laughter. “I swear,” you wheezed, “you’re gonna show up to the race with creatine gummies and protein powder taped to your belt.”

“...Is that a bad idea?”

“Oh my stars.”

“I could run with a shaker bottle!”

“Absolutely not. You’ll tire yourself. Stick with the free water pouch that came in the kit and those electrolyte gels.”

Grizzer let out a tired groan, rolling onto his side with his belly exposed in full “please end this conversation” protest. You dropped down beside him and gave him a belly rub. “Sorry, Grizz. Your dad’s training for his first marathon, and is already losing his shit.”

“Come on, I’ll finally have a medal to hang in my locker,” Hound crossed his arms as if he wasn’t trying to hold back a grin.

From then on, it was kind of a thing.

You, Hound, and Grizzer. Morning runs. Caf before work. Casual shit-talking. Dog treats stuffed in your jacket pockets. Every now and then, he’d stop by your wing in the Senate Office Building for no reason at all, just to “check on security,” like the hallway outside your department was suddenly the hotspot for insurrection. Everything was friendly, though. Totally normal to get butterflies when your work bestie laughs at your jokes like you’re funnier than you actually are. Totally normal to pretend you didn’t notice how good he looked covered in dust after patrol. Totally, completely normal to memorise the sound of his laugh and file it away for bad days.

“Wanna amp it up to four minutes per kilos?” Hound asked one morning, side-eyeing your casual pace.

“We won’t be able to chat if we amp it up.” You groaned. 

“You’ll survive.”

Before you could fire back, another runner passed you going the opposite direction - a Zeltron with peachy pink skin decked in full neon green workout gear, like she was promoting that new hyperpop album on the fly. Without thinking, you cupped your hands and shouted. “CUTE FIT, MA’AM! BRAT SUMMER EVERYDAY!!”

The Zeltron lit up, grinning wide and throwing a peace sign over her shoulder. Hound huffed a laugh. “I think you might scare people off with your compliments.”

“She loved it.”

“Yeah, but not the old man from yesterday.”

“Okay,” you said, “but he did have an immaculate mustache.”

“He nearly walked into traffic.”

“He should’ve been proud!”

You had a thing for noticing people. It wasn’t just something you did. You once stopped mid-run to tell a teenager sitting on the curb with a busted hoverboard that their eyeliner was “so sharp it could slice a speeder in half,” and you meant it. You waved at garbage droids and shouted, “keep up the good work, king,” as if they could hear and appreciate the encouragement. You named the stray alley tooka you passed every week on the same corner - first Pablo, then Kel-not-dor, then simply that guy. And Hound, despite not being the sentimental type, remembered every name. You brought backup gloves for him once when he forgot his on a freezing morning, and didn’t wear any yourself. You talked too much when you were excited, shouted compliments at strangers without warning, and sometimes you outran him like you had something to prove. And Hound started to realise he liked mornings more when they had you in them. But, true to form, he kept that particular revelation to himself and maybe muttered it once to Grizzer when no one else was around.

“Oh, by the way,” he continued after a few metres, “there’s this thing at 79’s next week. ARC Night.”

“What’s that? Like a ladies’ night?”

“Mhm.” He hummed, the both of you still sticking to the easy run, not yet veering into Zone Four territory. “ARFs are included this quarter, apparently. Big inclusion win for all us helmet-wearing dog guys. And… those dog-less ARFs from the battlefield.”

You raised a brow. “So, it’s a mixer?”

“More or less. You know how it goes. Free drinks if you show up in armour. Everyone brings a date. It’s a thing.”

“Ha!” You barked a laugh, loud and shameless. “And you’re too fucking busy being a lonely dog guy!”

“Ey, come on,” Hound wiped a sweat from his nose. “Shep and Spitz are single too.”

“Didn’t you say Spitz started seeing that barista dude?” you side-eyed him.

Hound made a face. “Okay, technically. But the guy keeps giving him free caf. That’s not a relationship, that’s a transaction.”

“Sure.” And then, without thinking much, you said. “Bro. Admit it, you’re too hot to be single.”

Hound’s pride and joy - the carbon plated running shoes - slightly caught on the pavement as he skidded. With widened eyes, he turned his head towards you. Then he burst out laughing. Loud, unrestrained, unbothered. The laugh took over his whole chest cavity. Grizzer barked excitedly too, tail going wild like even he thought this was comedy gold.

“Bro, what the fuck?!” Hound wheezed, still laughing, shaking his head as he picked up pace again. “That was way too random!”

“Nah, I’m dead serious.” You ripped open a pouch of energy gel with your teeth. “I don’t get it. Your brothers? No dogs. No killer runner’s legs. Still get dates. You? You’re always available, always hanging out in the barracks with Grizzer like a sore loser. What is that? Even Shep and Spitz have dates.”

“Wow. Harsh.” He groaned.

“I’m helping you get dates for ARC Night,” you declared, elbowing him. “This is charity work.”

He snorted. “You’re fiddling with my love life now?”

“Exactly.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“You don’t get a say,” you said with a smug little grin. “I’m getting you laid.”

He let out a long suffering sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “Maker, I regret every life decision that led me to this moment.”

“You won’t when you’re getting your back blown out by some hot tech from Research & Development.”

“I swear to fuck—”

“Just trust the process, Hound.”

The run ended the way most of them did - with your legs warm, your lungs happy, and your brain already spinning into “what now” mode. The sky had finally cracked open above the city bright morning sunlight filtering through Coruscant’s layered skyline like the planet was apologising for being so grim all week. When you finally slowed to a walk with sweat cooling on your neck, you spotted one of the old wooden benches near the pond, and flopped down onto it. Without missing a beat, you pulled out your datapad and started tapping.

Hound, still catching his breath, kicked your feet as if you were personally offending the sanctity of cooldown time with immediate gadget time. “We just finished running.”

“And now I’m working,” you muttered. 

“What are you even doing?” He leaned over your shoulder, breath warm against your ear, cheek nearly brushing your temple as he peered down at your screen. You could feel the heat coming off him - sweaty, post-run heat, but somehow still weirdly comforting. He smelled like pollution, sweat, and caf and whatever awful protein bar he’d inhaled before the run started.

It was his day off. And yours, miraculously. One of those rare alignments in the Republic’s scheduling universe where both of you had been granted the same day off. No meetings for you. No last-minute patrol routes for him. Just… free time. And a park. And a little caf booth that, despite looking sketchy as hell, hadn’t poisoned either of you yet. He handed you your usual order with a suspicious look. “I think the droid running the booth shorted my change. I’m not even mad. That coffee was terrifyingly fast.”

Grizzer slumped onto the ground in front of you both, tongue out, tail doing that lazy thumping against the pavement. He pawed at his nose and sighed.

“CoruMatch,” you announced proudly, lifting the datapad. “Also going to get you on Coraya. That one matches you with senators and other rich sad single professionals. We’re covering all bases.”

Hound blinked. “You’re setting me up on a date with a senator?”

“Senators need love too.”

“They also need better legislation. But sure, let’s go with that.”

You ignored the snark, fully locked into the mission now. Profile setup was a sacred act. This was war.

“Name?” you asked, not even looking up.

“Hound.”

“Should I put your CT number?”

Hound gave you a flat look. “Do you know my CT number?”

“…Fair.”

“Exactly.”

“Fine. Hound it is.” You punched it in. “Occupation: ARF Trooper. Likes: long walks along the periphery of the Senate Building.”

“You’re making me sound like a Separatist spy.”

“Noted. I’ll tone it down.” You tapped again. “Hobby?” you asked, ignoring his suffering. “And don’t say ‘working’ or ‘running with Grizzer’ because I’m putting something fun.”

“You’re gonna lie on my profile?”

“I’m gonna make you hot.”

He rolled his eyes. “Maker, I hate you.”

“You love me,” you shot back sweetly, not realising until the words left your mouth that your heart definitely skipped a beat saying it. Hound didn’t react. Or maybe he did, but you didn’t dare look up to check.

“So. Hobbies. I’m going with: running, cafe hopping, massiff training, and…” you trailed off, squinting at the screen. “Do I put ‘arms so big they could choke you’ or is that too much?”

Hound choked on his caf. “WHAT?”

“You’re right,” you said solemnly. “Too slutty. Gotta leave a little mystery. Okay, now pictures. Gotta show the goods.”

“The what?!”

“The goods, Hound. The product. The merchandise. Now send me that topless pic of you - no, wait. Too slutty. Or maybe just slutty enough. Hmm…”

“I hate this.”

“Oh shut up. You sent me that pic last month when you got your new paintjob, remember? Half armour, mirror selfie?”

“I was showing off my vambrace mod, not trying to thirst trap you!”

“Well, it worked.” You blew raspberries. “Now cough it up.”

He bit the inside of his mouth, and started scrolling through his device. “And,” you added, pulling back and lifting your datapad before he could react, “for the casual, approachable vibe…”

Click.

You captured him whilst he was sipping his caf, curls slightly mussed, brow furrowed, looking like a grumpy, rugged dreamboat. Grizzer, massive yet photogenic, was curled up at his feet like the perfect accessory of crime.

“What the hell, warn me first—”

“Nope. Candid. That’s your ‘just a regular guy who wrestles Republic threats for a living’ pic. Irresistible.”

Throwing his head back, he let out a long suffering sigh. “This is a mistake.”

You were too busy uploading the photo to hear him properly. “Boom. Profile complete. CoruMatch is gonna eat you alive.”

“I feel like I need a booze for this.”

“You’ll need one after your first date.”

Hound grimaced. “I’m scared.”

“Okay, let’s get swiping.” You angled the datapad so he could see, fingers going at lightspeed. “Nope. Nope. Definitely a catfish. Ew, one of those ‘if you’re under six feet don’t talk to me’ bios. You’re six feet though, but not letting you date a red flag. Next. Ooh, what about this Pantoran?”

“Eh…”

“C’mon,” you nudged. “She’s got glossy baby pink hair.”

“That’s your metric?”

“Better than the catfish who used a stock photo of Senator Amidala.”

“Okay, fair,” he muttered. “But… look at her bio.”

You rolled your eyes, tilting the screen back to yourself as you skimmed it. And then you stopped. Brows furrowed. Read it again.

“…Oh no.”

“Yeah.”

“She wrote ‘Fluent in Shyriiwook because I only date men who growl.’”

“Yup.”

“She said ‘looking for my #DivineMasculine’ unironically.”

“Uh-huh. I felt myself get physically weaker reading that.” Hound closed his eyes like he was physically sucker punched by the cringe bio. “She also tagged her own name in her bio.”

“Who is she trying to SEO for?!” You swiped left. “We were almost victims,” 

You both sat in momentary silence, wind brushing through the trees, the caf long forgotten. Finally, you looked up. “Wanna keep swiping?”

“Maker help me, but yeah.” Hound groaned. “Why do people do this?” He sank deeper into the bench. 

“Cause it’s a fucking city planet and we’re all lonely.”

“I’m just saying,” he muttered, “even the shinies are… phew. Don’t ask.”

“No, I have to ask.”

“The moment they landed from Kamino, they already knew shit like - moon sign compatibility, whatever the hell that is. One of them tried to explain ‘twin flames’ to me during barracks cleaning.”

“NO.”

“And now you’ve dragged me into this hell.”

“Oh, this one looks green-flag-ish,” you ignored his grumbling, zooming at the screen. You shoved the datapad into Hound’s face. “Hala, a folk musician from Alderaan. Based in CoCo Town. Now listen, she likes running and wellness. She even spelled everything right in her bio. No weird emojis. That’s rare.”

“Alderaanian folk musician?” Hound grabbed your datapad and inspected the profile. 

“Don’t knock it. This might be the most emotionally stable person within a five-klicks radius.” After you swiped right, the screen immediately exploded with celebratory heart shapes and a little jingle. “Oop! It’s a match!” you gasped. “See?! The algorithm works!”

“I don’t think the algorithm has met me.”

You ignored him completely, already typing. “Now we say hi…”

He tried to reach for the datapad. “Wait, what are you saying?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No. No, give me that—”

“Too late!” you beamed, holding the screen out of his reach like you were taunting a toddler. “Message sent.”

“What did you say?!”

“I said, and I quote, ‘My name is Hound but you can call me tonight’”

The ARF trooper stared at you like you’d grown a second head. “You did not.”

“I did. You’re a confident, playful trooper with a sensitive side and dog dad energy.”

“I’m going to die alone.”

“You’re going to die loved. Possibly with a girl and a litter of massiff puppies on your deathbed.” Grizzer whined in confusion. You patted his head. “Your dad’s about to go on the nicest date of his life. Be happy for him.”

Your datapad buzzed with a reply. “She said yes! She wants to meet tonight for tea and a walk around the sculpture gardens. Fancy.”

“Ugh,” he groaned and grabbed your datapad to check Hala’s profile again. “If this doesn’t work…”

“We’ll try again!” You grinned.

That night, you made yourself dinner. Instant noodles jazzed up with a soft-boiled egg and way too much chili oil, and promptly forgot about Hound and his date. It was just another match. A little experiment. Some harmless fun to entertain you both whilst the Republic slowly caved in on itself. You even put on a face mask, tied your hair back, and curled up on the floor scrolling your datapad like this was just any other lazy rotation. You were halfway through a video of the latest Coruscanti gossip when your comm buzzed at exactly 2300 hours.

Hound.

Brushing your fingers clean on your sleep shirt, you accepted the call.

“Hound? What—”

“She brought a crystal,” he cut right to the chase. “Said it was from Koboh. Told me it had ‘natural regenerative energy’ and waved it over my shoulder like she was summoning the fucking Force.”

You dropped the commlink straight into your lap and immediately started wheezing before picking it up again. “Maybe she thought you had energy inflammation,” 

“She told me bacta is a big pharma conspiracy to keep us addicted to it.”

“Stars.”

“She drinks this fermented root thing that smells like glue and tastes like piss. No caf. No caf at all.”

You went still. “That’s a crime against the Republic.”

“She told me, verbatim, that caf disrupts your body’s natural vibrational frequency.”

You were already tearing up. Fumbling to switch the call to holo. “I’m gonna cry.”

The hologram streamed a moment later. Hound appeared in blue-tinted 3D, hair damp and curling at the edges, skin flushed from a recent shower. He was wearing his old Kamino fatigue shirt - the red one that hugged his arms a little too much and was, arguably, the most emotionally devastating shirt in his wardrobe.

“I almost did,” he deadpanned. “From dehydration. She only drinks filtered rainwater.”

“Her bones are probably hollow.” You shrieked. 

“She asked if I’d ever done a past life regression,” he continued, running a hand over his face. “Then told me I used to be a Wroshyr tree.”

You choked, nearly knocking your comm over. “A Wroshyr tree? What are you a wookiee descendant?!”

“I said I didn’t remember that and she got offended.”

By this point, you were doubled over, sitting cross-legged with your comm propped against your knee, face buried in your sleeve as you cackled into the fabric.

“She was really nice, though,” Hound added after a moment, because he was polite to a fault and probably thanked her for the disastrous date. “Just… you know.”

“Yeah.” You wiped your eyes, still breathless. “A little much?”

“She thinks medbays and hospitals are a scam and she tried to cleanse my aura with essential oils. I smell like a spice market exploded, and I’ve showered twice! My nose is burning.”

You finally flopped backward on your floor, staring up at the ceiling. “Okay,” you couldn’t stop laughing. “So. Maybe not a second date?”

“Absolutely not,” he snapped. “I can’t do this again. You win. I tap out.”

“Don’t say ‘you win’ like this was a competition,” you rolled onto your side. “I matched you with someone who thinks Grizzer is the cutest bundle of joy.”

“I hate you. I’m going to bed.” He flipped the middle finger at you, earning another bark of laughter that hurt your belly.

“Burn your shirt.”

He looked down at himself. “Never.”

You sighed, watching his little hologram glitch as he moved around his space on the other end.

“Hey, same time tomorrow?” he asked.

You smiled. “0700.”

“Bring caf.”

-----------------------------

“Okay. Second date. After office hours. Are you writing this down in your note app?” you quipped, adjusting your pace to match Hound’s stride as you both jogged towards the Senate Office Building.

It was part of your unspoken routine now - morning run, post-run chat, then split off to your respective showers. The communal one on your floor was barely used; most staff preferred to stink in silence or go home first. You didn’t mind. It was quiet, tiled, and vaguely smelled of expensive aromatherapy. Hound, meanwhile, would bolt back to the barracks for his own rinse and then kit up before his 1100 patrol shift, lunch hour. His least favorite. Too many politicians, too much foot traffic, and too many civilians trying to take selfies with the massiffs. “They’re not lap dogs,” he’d muttered once whilst untangling Grizzer from someone who tried to put a pink tutu on him. 

Hound slapped a towel around his neck. “Who am I dating again today?”

“The financial advisor for Mobquet,” you said, pulling up her profile as you slowed to a walk. “Twi’lek. Yellow-gold skin. You literally said she’s pretty when I showed you before we started running.”

“I said she had nice cheekbones. That’s not the same.”

“Sounds like horny math to me,” you snorted, angling your datapad towards him. “Look at her. She does this meditative stretching but not the fake shit that comes with a thirty credit jogan smoothie. This is your best shot yet.”

He finger combed the curls that fell on his forehead back, dark brown eyes widening as he raised both eyebrows. “She’s got those rich people eyes, you know, the ones that would judge your eating habits”

“She’s going to cleanse your palate, bro.”

“Right, bro. From what? Tree girl? My will to live?”

You ignored him. “Also, heads up, I got access to Coraya.”

Hound stopped dead. “What?! I thought you needed some kind of clearance to get in.”

“I have connections.” You winked. “Some senate aide owed me a favour. And now? Boom. You’ve got four matches.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t trust people who use dating platforms with references.”

“They’re vetted! They’re verified! They’re—”

“Emotionally unavailable,” he finished for you.

“You’re emotionally unavailable.”

“Exactly. That’s why this isn’t going to work.”

You reached over and punched his bicep. “Shut up and take the love I’m forcing on you.”

He let out the most dramatic sigh and mouthed “fine.”

“Second date,” you said again, cheerful. “Twi’lek advisor. Nice outfit. No interest in crystals. We’re going to debrief over drinks afterward.”

——————————————

The next day you found him already waiting at the usual deli table near the Senate Plaza, hunched over like he’d been up since dawn - which he had. No run that morning. You had a 0800 meeting with some stiff-necked junior advisor about budget allocation, and Hound had pulled a patrol shift that started before sunrise. It was one of those rotations where you’d barely messaged, just a quick “lunch?” over comm before diving back into the hustle.

Sliding into the seat across from him, you wordlessly pushed a cup of caf and fish sandwich across the table. “Well?” you asked, unwrapping your own sandwich. “Is Twi’lek the new aphrodisiac?”

Hound groaned and dropped his head onto the table, face-first.

“So that’s a no?”

“She was nice,” he mumbled, words muffled into the metal. “Really nice. Smart. Articulate. Not into star charts or past life regression. So nice.”

You chewed, watching him from over your coffee lid. “And…?”

He rolled his face to the side so one eye could look at you. “She also spoke in numbers.”

“…What.”

“Like. Numbers. Statistics. I complimented her jewelry, and she hit me with ‘75% of women on Coruscant wear blood diamonds from a deregulated mine on Iktotch.’ Then she asked if I was more of a ‘risk-assessment or projected yield’ kind of guy.”

That made you choke on your caf, nearly snorting foam up your nose. “Okay, that’s… honestly very on-brand.”

“She tried to explain compound interest and capital gain using us as a metaphor.”

You lowered your sandwich slowly. “The fuck. Like… emotionally? Or financially?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell.” He stared into the middle distance. 

“So… second date?” Slurping your caf, your eyes never left his.

He didn’t answer right away. Just looked down at the rim of his caf cup, fingers absently running along the lid like it had suddenly become the most fascinating object in the galaxy. “…Yeah. Benduday night.” he said finally.

That drove your eyebrows to the ceiling. “Really?”

“It wasn’t awful. And…” He trailed off, lips pursed, eyes still on the table. “You’re right. Everyone’s bringing dates to ARC night next week.” He dragged his eyes up at you. “They already think I’m a lonely dog guy. I just want to be left alone. But if I show up alone, they’ll start pulling stunts. Thorn’s already threatened to sign me up for speed dating.”

You both laughed at his suffering. Taking another sip of your caf, you let the warmth sit on your tongue as your eyes drifted back to him. “So you’re really doing this, huh?”

“What, dating?”

“No.” You looked at him over the cup. “Performing heterosexual stability for your brothers.”

“Do you want me to date or not? You literally signed me up for this.” He narrowed his eyes. 

“I was joking! I do,” you grinned. “And I stand by it. I want you to be happy.” You said it lightly. “Whatever that looks like.”

The man in front of you stared at you for a moment, one curl fell on his face, eyes searching like he was trying to line something up in his head that wouldn’t quite fit the puzzle. You forced yourself to hold the gaze, even though it made your chest feel strange. Then he stood up, stretching his arms behind his back. “Same time tomorrow?”

“0700.” You pointed at his caf. “Your turn to bring me one.”

-----------------------------

The night after his second date, he met you at your usual pre-run meet-up spot, right on time. It had been two days since your last run together - both of you swamped with tight schedules and barely enough time to check in. But the post-date debrief was still on the menu. The morning air had that crisp, early chill that made you grateful for your long sleeves, cold enough to sting but not quite cold enough to curse Coruscant’s wind this time of the month. Grizzer was spinning in circles chasing his tail before suddenly catching himself, straightening up with dignity like he hadn’t just been an idiot ten seconds ago. He posted at Hound’s side like a statue, ears alert, pretending to be all business. Little weirdo.

Hound looked… lighter, somehow. The dark under his eyes hadn’t vanished, but there was a looseness in the way he carried himself, a settled ease in his shoulders. Quietly content. You reached for the caf in his hand without asking, and chugging it like it was the only thing tethering you to the galaxy. It was still hot, nearly scalding your tongue, but you didn’t care. Pre-workout religion, shared by you both.

“So,” you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “Financial Advisor Round Two went well?”

Hound huffed a short laugh, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah. Actually… it went really well.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “We went to this rooftop spot in CoCo Town. Real quiet, kind of hidden. Good food. Nobody rushed us out, which is rare as hell. We just… talked. For hours.” Deep brown orbs gazing at the path ahead like he couldn’t meet your gaze. “She’s still intense with the finance metaphors, but… I don’t know. It felt easy.”

Tossing the flimsi caf cup to the bin, you tried to keep your suddenly hitching breath steady. “Easy’s good.”

“She gets the job stuff, too. Doesn’t flinch when I talk about the field, or Underworld patrol, or massiff training. She actually asked about Grizzer. Didn’t call him a ‘soul creature’ or whatever that last girl said.”

You didn’t know why you didn’t feel like laughing, but you forced one anyway. “Wow. A miracle.”

“Yeah,” he said, and he smiled a little, soft and fond in that way that made bugs swarming in your belly. Has this feeling always been there? “She said she’s down for ARC night at 79’s too. So I was thinking…” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, thumb rubbing along the edge of his caf cup as if he needed something to fidget with. “Maybe I don’t need the Coraya matches after all? You can cancel them. I’ll probably just… bring her.”

You felt it hit your chest before your brain could register it. There was no dramatic gasp. No nothing. Just a sudden gravitational drop of your heart. Like blinking and realising you’re standing at the edge of a skyscraper and don’t know how long you’ve been there. “Okay.” You pressed a smile onto your face. “Wow… that actually went well. Great! I’m… I’m glad.” You didn’t look at him as you said it. Simply stared out at the running path. 

He looked at you then with his brows pulled together. “You okay?”

You laughed too quickly and it cracked on the way out. “Yeah. No. Of course. This was the whole point, wasn’t it? Me setting you up. Helping you find someone who isn’t a crystal-wielding root juice drinker.”

“Right.” Curls bouncing on his head as he chuckled.

“Good for you, though,” you forced brightness into your voice. “She seems like a great match. Really.”

“Thanks,” he eventually said after finishing his caf. “For all of this.”

With your smile still intact, you turned your head towards him, and tilted your chin toward the trail ahead. “Anytime. Now, race you for the next hour? Wanna hit four minutes per kilo?”

“You’re on.” He elbowed you before both of you took off. Maybe if you just ran hard enough, you could outpace the sudden ache you felt in your chest.

-----------------------------

ARC night always drew a crowd. From off-duty troopers blowing off steam, shinies still awkward in their freshly ironed grey uniforms trying to look like they belonged, to civilians taking advantage of cheaper alcohol and the overall safety of the place. The music had that smooth, electronic beat with vibrating bass that made your chest thrum. Lights flickered and spun in warm ambers and electric blues, bouncing off bits of clone armour worn by a handful of troopers.

But you weren’t here for that. You were here for ladies’ night, which, because 79’s was a marketing genius, happened to fall on the same night as ARC night. Your friends had dragged you out with the usual bribes: Free drinks, come on, we haven’t gone out in weeks, you never wear that black dress anymore. You told yourself it was fine. Just a night. Nothing would happen. You’d sip something sugary, laugh too loud, and head home before midnight.

“There you are.”

A deep voice rose just above the music. You turned, drink in hand, your breath catching before you could stop it. There he was, Hound. Wearing his blacks, sleeves rolled, half armour. Arm casually draped around the shoulder of a stunning Twi’lek woman in a fitted blazer and asymmetrical dress, her skin a smooth shade of yellow-gold. She leaned into him, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. The sergeant looked relaxed. Comfortable. Buzzed enough for that loose smirk to melt across his face like he’d never known stress a day in his life.

And stars help you, he looked good. Too good.

“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight,” he stepped closer, arm still slung around the heaven-sent Twi’lek, though he adjusted his stance like he wasn’t sure how close to get to you.

“Yeah, the girls dragged me out. Free drinks, loud music. You know. Classic trap.” You sipped your drink. 

Hound’s eyes gazed on your outfit, lingering a little too long. The black dress. The low back. The way the straps crossed at your shoulder blades. You knew you looked good. That wasn’t the problem. “Oh—uh,” he blinked, straightening like he’d forgotten himself. “This is Lyra. Lyra, this is—” He hesitated. Friend? Matchmaker? Teammate? Almost-something-that-never-was? 

“…This is the one who made this whole thing happen,” he settled on. “My, uh… running partner.”

“Yeah. I built him from the ground up. Swiped left on twenty-five disasters before we found the financial wizard.” You grinned from ear to ear, drink raised. “I’ve heard… about his past dates,” you added breezily. “You’re already winning. You haven’t assigned him a soul animal yet.”

Lyra laughed politely, and flicked her eyes between the two of you. “He told me all about that. I promised I’d never try to name his soul animal.” She smiled, free hand flew on his chest. Perfect.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you teased. “He does have ‘feral rancor’ energy in the mornings.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Hound’s eyes narrowed. “You’re the one who nearly started a fight with a street vendor for under-toasting your bagel.”

“It was limp!”

Lyra laughed again, but it came with a hint of confusion. Hound had turned towards you now, fully engaged, like the two of you had slipped into an orbit only you understood. Jokes that no one seemed to understand but the two of you flew effortlessly. You didn’t even have to think about it. You never did.

Finding yourself smiling a little too wide, and a little too guilty for accidentally leaving Lyra out of the conversation, you checked your chrono. “Anyway,” you said quickly, stepping back. “I was just about to head out.”

“Already?” Lyra pouted. “It’s not even 2100!” 

You gave a one-shouldered shrug, adjusting the strap of your purse. “Early meeting tomorrow. Some budget subcommittee that thinks my entire department can function on six credits and free lunch Primeday.”

Hound frowned slightly, like he wanted to say something, but didn’t allow himself to.

“See you tomorrow?” you asked as casually as you could make it.

“Yeah,” he said. “Same time.”

“Cool.”

You smiled at Lyra. Gosh, she was beautiful. You nodded again once, then turned. The crowd swallowed you almost instantly. You didn’t look back. And Hound, still standing beside Lyra, watched the space you’d left behind.

After you left, Hound didn’t even register the music anymore. The pulsing rhythm, the strobing lights, the press of bodies moving through the haze of conversation and laughter - all of it blurred into static. He barely heard Lyra chatting beside him, her voice distant as she mentioned something about a Senate finance shake-up, her hand lightly tapping his arm in that casual way she always did. But he couldn’t focus. His eyes were still fixed on the spot where you’d just been standing, now swallowed by the crowd. The smile you gave him hadn’t reached your eyes. And you didn’t even look back. That shouldn’t have meant anything. But it did. Right in the gut. 

He didn’t know what he wanted to come after him, but he knew it wasn’t this silence. He’d been so sure he would try it with Lyra. She was kind, smart, asked good questions, and didn't try too hard. She didn’t flinch when he talked about his nasty Underworld patrol. She didn’t ask about his rank or make his clone status a topic of fascination or pity. She got along with Grizzer. She laughed at his jokes. She was almost perfect.

But she didn’t look at him the way you did. She didn’t roll her eyes when he was being dramatic or bicker with him over dumb things like caf orders and running pace or which vendor in the Federal District had the worst bagels. She didn’t shove caf into his hand at 0700 and say, “You’re welcome, war criminal,” with a wink and that stupid grin of yours. She didn’t make him feel like he was being seen for something other than what he did or what he was made for. Which, to be fair, wasn’t her fault. You’d known him for a while. Lyra was new. But even back when you were new, the second time he ever hung out with you, he remembered thinking this is different. With you, he didn’t have to hold himself back. Didn’t have to double-check his tone, or scan for offence, or explain things that didn’t need explaining. 

You understood. And somewhere deep down, a door quietly creaking open in a part of him he hadn’t dared to look at. Not until now. A sudden shout of laughter from the other side of the bar pulled him back into the present. The music swelled again. He blinked, refocusing, turning back to Lyra as she smiled up at him. He nodded, forced a smile of his own, and answered like he hadn’t just felt something click into place that might ruin everything.

-----------------------------

You were already stretching by the time Hound jogged into view, Grizzer loping at his side, tongue out and tail high, a red bandana tied around his thick neck. Hound gave you a nod as he slowed to a walk, hoodie tied at his waist like a makeshift kama, the regulation red of the Coruscant Guard bleeding into civilian comfort. No caf in his hand. No shouting “You ready to smoke the entire district?” like he usually did, every morning like clockwork, as if it were part of the run-up ritual.

You didn’t meet him with a joke either. Just a quiet, even, “Morning.”

“Hey.”

And that was it. You took off at a steady pace with your breathing already synced to the shape of the path ahead. No warm-up banter. No arguing over pace. Just running in silence, broken only by the echo of your steps and the ambient murmur of the waking city. 

By the third block, you’d pulled ahead. Not by much, but enough to leave Hound and Grizzer behind. A few metres in your back, Hound had started breathing harder, legs pushing just slightly more than usual to stay even with you. “You training for a trail run or something?” he called out jokingly. “That’s not ‘til the summer rotation.”

“Just clearing my head.” You didn’t turn to face him. 

Another block passed. Your feet carried you forward like they were trying to outrun something. The silence was suffocating - it made your ears ring.

Eventually, he caught up again, matching your pace. “Heading to work after this?”

“Yeah.”

“Big day?”

“No bigger than usual.”

An uncomfortable silence that was never there finally made its way in, and neither of you did anything to break it. You stared straight ahead, into the rising silhouette of the Senate tower, its gleaming metal surface catching the early sunrise - grey, cold, and detached. You hated this. The distance where ease used to live. The absence of all the little nothings that once filled the space between you. You hated the way your own voice felt unfamiliar in your mouth, and how the words burned as you asked the one thing you promised yourself you wouldn’t.

“So,” you said. “How’d it go? With Lyra.”

He glanced sideways at you, brows furrowed, as if he wasn’t sure if this was an actual curiosity or a test. Then he looked away, settling his gaze somewhere in the middle distance as he let out a long, quiet sigh. “It was fine.”

“Everyone loved her at ARC night?” You nodded, forcing a smile that felt hollow in your cheeks. 

A small laugh escaped his lips. Not quite genuine, but not unkind either. “Yeah. She handled it well. Didn’t get weird about the armour. Didn’t freeze up when the war stories started flying. Talked shop with Thire about tax brackets. That was… actually impressive.”

“She sounds like she fits in,” you said. Your laugh came out manufactured, trailing off before it even landed.

“Yeah.”

Both of you kept running. Grizzer’s claws tapped a steady rhythm on the pavement in that click-click-click noise - the only constant sound in this suddenly foreign silence.

“Everyone kept asking if we were already a thing,” Hound said after a while, like he wasn’t sure whether it was relevant or just another thought that wouldn’t let go. “Didn’t help that we actually showed up together. I-uh, I picked her up.”

“Are you?” You glanced at him. 

He looked at you.

You looked away.

“I don’t know,” he said, quiet again. “Feels like I’m supposed to want that.”

There was nothing left to say to that. Not truthfully. Not without setting fire to something you could never put out. So you smiled again, your last defense, and said the thing you’d practiced in your head a dozen times. “Well, as I said. If it makes you happy. I’m also happy!”

Bumping your elbow into his side, you tried to shake the weight from your shoulders, to turn it back into something familiar. “I’m just glad you’re no longer a lonely dog boy,” you said, joking, pretending, swallowing everything else. That earned a smile from him. Faint, a little confused, maybe, but he said nothing. And you kept running. Because it was fine. You’d get over it. You always did.

-----------------------------

The locker room was steaming with humid air from the last round of hot showers. Water dripped from showerheads, and pooled along the corners of the tiled floor, glistening under the overtly bright overhead lights. The clatter of boots against the floor, the dull slam of locker doors, the occasional bark of laughter - all of it echoed in the wet acoustics of the room, bouncing off white walls scrubbed too many times. Hound hated the soap. The godawful knockoff citrus the quartermaster kept ordering in bulk, probably because it was dirt cheap and smelled better than bacta spray. He sneezed twice as he scrubbed the scent off his hands with a towel, rubbing his curls dry, autopilot whilst his mind lagged somewhere three steps behind.

Across the aisle, Thorn leaned against his locker, towel wrapped low around his hips, datapad in hand, somehow managing to look smug even while dripping. Thire was already halfway into his blacks, pulling the undersuit over his legs. 

“ARC night was wild,” Thorn cracked his neck with a sigh of deep satisfaction, and threw his datapad into the locker. “Did you see Fives try to dance with that senator’s aide?”

“Bet he tapped that,” Thire grinned, adjusting his belt as he spoke.

“Yeah, well… of course he did.”

Hound let out a low laugh despite himself, tossing his damp towel into his locker and shaking his head. “That son of a bantha.”

“Hey,” Thorn suddenly pointed at him. “ARFs included in ARC night perks now, right? You get your free drinks?”

Hound grabbed the bottle of body spray off the bench, giving himself a quick hit of the aggressively named Cool Breeze - which was supposed to smell like cool ocean breeze, but as much as he remembered, Kamino didn’t smell like chemical peel. “Yeah, I got my drink.”

Beside him, Thire held out a hand. Wordlessly, Hound tossed the bottle his way. Thire sprayed himself like he was trying to disappear into the mist. Then, without warning, he turned and lobbed it toward Thorn, who caught it with a laugh. Of course. Now the communal body spray era began.

“Free drinks and Lyra,” Thire added with a knowing grin.

Hound rolled his eyes, trying to keep the warmth from creeping up his neck. “It was just drinks.”

“Sure,” Thire snorted, tugging on his chestplate. “Though I gotta say. I thought you’d bring the other girl.”

Hound blinked. “Huh?”

“You know,” Thorn cut in, waving a hand vaguely. “The Senate Office girl. The one you’re always running with. The one you ran with this morning. Always talking about. She said this, she did that…”

“Yeah, that one,” Thire snapped his fingers, snickering. “The one who drops you off after every run like your personal handler. We were betting on that.”

“I think I saw her last night, actually,” Thorn mused. “Just a flash. Thought she’d be with you. She’s already taken or what?”

“Oh,” Hound hesitated. “I mean… she’s my best friend. She was there, yeah, but had to bail early. Something about chasing that mythical eight hours of sleep.”

Thorn raised an eyebrow. “That all?”

“She’s the one who set these dates up for me,” Hound said quickly. “Said I was, uh, too hot to be single.”

Thire barked a laugh. “She said that? Bro.”

“Damn,” Thorn grinned, shaking his head. “She’s out here playing matchmaker? Didn’t see that coming. Thought you two were already a thing before you came with Lyra.”

Hound gave a short laugh, trying to match the casualness of the situation. He turned towards his locker, busying himself with pulling his blacks free. “She’s just… like that. Always something to laugh about later.”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘just like that,’” Thire echoed, securing his chestplate. “You really think she expected this setup to actually work?”

“I mean,” Hound said softly, staring down at the locker’s empty interior. “She was excited. Really excited. Wanted me to meet someone. Wanted me to… not be alone.”

“Sure,” Thorn said. “But that doesn’t mean she thought you’d actually meet someone.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Thire clapped a hand on Hound’s back. “Don’t overthink it, man. Just figure out what you want. ‘Cause from where we’re standing? You’ve already got it.”

Words stuck in Hound’s throat. From where they stood, it was simple. From the outside, it probably looked obvious. But inside his own head, all he could hear was the difference in laughter, the way you called him out for his military posture during his pre-marathon trainings, or made him wave at service droids just to prove a point that not all droids are bad. The way you saw him.

“Besides,” Thire added, tossing the rest of his gears into his bag. “We haven’t heard one word about Lyra ‘til last night. But you? You talk about your running buddy like it’s breathing.”

-----------------------------

The place he found himself in that quiet Taungsday afternoon was small, warmly loud in a very intimate way. The lights were a soft amber glow, filtered through greasy glass blocks, and the walls were a curated mess of vintage flimsi posters, hand-painted holo ads from decades past, and cracked tiles that no one had bothered to fix. It smelled like garlic that had been left to crisp in the pan and fire-cooked meat. The type of smell that stuck to your clothes and made you feel full before you even sat down. His kind of place. Unpretentious. No frills. Real. 

Lyra loved it instantly. Sliding into the booth across from him, her smart wrap top still crisp despite the heat, her lekku draped politely over her shoulders. “This place has character,” she’d said, eyes crinkled as she smiled. “I’m into it.” And she meant it. She cracked jokes with the grumpy Pantoran running the register, ordered the house special without needing a menu, didn’t flinch at the spice level or the sticky tabletop. She fit in effortlessly, like she could match the rhythm of any space she walked into. She told stories between bites of food. “…and then my CEO tried to write off her cousin’s entire old speeder collection as ‘cultural artifacts.’ I had to explain to the board that if the licence still lists him as the primary driver, it’s not an antique, it’s a tax writeoff”. And he’d laughed, genuinely. She was clever. Funny. She made fraud sound romantic. And Hound smiled back, and he meant it. 

But beneath the laughter was a stillness he hadn’t expected. Lyra laughed in rhythmic bursts, just enough, never too much. Polished. Controlled. Unlike you - who laughed like the world owed you joy and you were going to take it. Loud, messy, infectious. You snorted. You shook with it. Lyra made way too many gestures when she spoke - it was always delicate, graceful, careful not to knock her drink - but Hound missed the way you stabbed the air when you got mad about procedural inefficiency in Senate legislation, like you were personally ready to brawl with the system armed only finger guns. 

Watching Lyra across the table, he saw the way she tilted her head when she listened, saw that she was everything he was supposed to look for in a person. Grounded. Thoughtful. Uncomplicated. And yet the space in his head where he stored your morning runs and caf orders was louder than her laughter. 

“You okay?” Lyra asked softly, pulling her eyebrows together. 

“Yeah. Sorry. Just… long patrol this morning. Think I hit a wall.” He blinked. 

She nodded easily, understanding, not offended. “You’ve been busy. If you want to call it early, I won’t take it personally.” 

And he hesitated - not because he was tired, but because this wasn’t fair. Not to her. Not to himself. Because the truth was, he didn’t want this to be enough. He wanted you. Your chaos. Your rants. Your unpredictable moods and predictable orders at the cafe. The way you never made him feel like he had to perform as a clone, a trooper, a protector. With Lyra, he was seen. With you, he was seen, accepted, understood, and known.

As they walked under the haze of golden streetlights back towards her building - a charmingly old one with cracked brickwork, ornamental balconies, potted plants clinging to welded iron, she asked, “Lunch date next Centaxday?” 

It should have been easy to say yes. But something inside him had already moved on. He stopped walking. She did too, turning to face him with that soft, curious tilt of the head. 

“Um… Lyra,” he started, and the words felt too small. 

“Yeah?” The warmth in her lekku deepened, a subtle flush. 

Hound took a breath. “I don’t think this works.” 

Her expression changed, not to sadness, but a quiet understanding. 

“It’s just… I’ve been pulled into extra rotations, the Guard’s assigning more surveillance routes to ARF teams, I don’t even know if I’ll get Centaxday off,” he stumbled, reaching for logistics like they could make this sound less like a rejection and more like unfortunate timing. Coward. 

She didn’t interrupt. Just watched him, hands folded in front of her cardigan. And when he finished trailing off like a kicked massiff, she only smiled. “So… is it really the Guard?” she asked gently. 

He lowered his eyes, then looked back up, hating how easy it was for her to read him. “Actually… no.” 

“Of course,” a faint smile curled on his lips. “Didn’t think so.” 

And when he tried to apologise again, she waved it off. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re kind. Very kind. You tried.” 

He opened his mouth. “I just—” 

“You’re in love with her,” she said. There was no accusation in her voice, only clarity. “The girl from 79’s.” 

He froze. Not because she was wrong. But because it was the first time anyone had said it out loud. “Tell her,” Lyra added, stepping back towards the entrance of her building. “If she’s as smart as I think she is, she’s probably still waiting for you to catch up.” She smiled one last time. Not sad, not bitter. “It was nice hanging out with you, Hound.” And with that, she disappeared behind the building’s old wood-framed doors. 

Hound stood there for a long time, hands loose at his sides, breath thick in his lungs. The streetlight above him buzzed faintly in the quiet. And then he moved, first a step, then another, faster, into a brisk walk, feet carrying him without thought. As if his body already knew the way back.

After a few klicks his feet carried him faster, regulation boots be damned. He cursed himself for not wearing his running shoes to his afterhour date, but here he was, feeling blisters started to form on his achilles and foreseeing days of complaining about shin splints during patrol. He ran through CoCo Town, down crowded footpaths and across skybridges, breath burning in his throat. He didn’t bother with the hovertrain. Six stops was nothing compared to what he felt gnawing inside his chest.

Your flat. Fobosi District. He remembered. You’d told him once offhand, “seventh level, corner unit, west side. I get the sunset through the window!” You’d said it mid-run, cheeks red, breath fogging in the cold. Like you didn’t expect him to care.

But he did. He remembered everything. You always ran home early. Always claimed you had meetings or unfinished paperworks. But maybe you just liked being alone. Or maybe you didn’t want to say why. He liked that about you. That you didn’t give everything away. That you kept parts of yourself sharp and chaotic and yours. He remembered how you’d point at people during runs and shout, “Nice boots, queen!” or “That’s a perfect beard, ten outta ten!” and then dare him to do it too. You made the whole planet feel alive, like the city was filled with weirdness and wonder and you were just in love with all of it.

You were kind in the way that made people uncomfortable, raw and loud and relentless. And then after a while that uncomfortableness would turn into the realisation that this galaxy did need more kindness. He loved that. He always had. How did he not see that?

The question looped in his head as he tailed the previous resident who entered your flat building, and the lift creaked up to the seventh level.

But she’s the one who set the dates. She matched me. She told me to go. She smiled when I left. So why did it hurt her so much to see me with someone else? Oh. We really do share a single brain cell.

The doors slid open with a hiss. And there it was, your floor’s hallway. Quiet. A little worn. Smelled faintly of dust and someone cooking something spicy two doors down. His heart thundered as he approached your door. He didn’t have a plan. Didn’t know what he was going to say. Just that he had to say something to end this slowly growing silence. That you were the one thing he’d run to without hesitation. Always had been.

-----------------------------

You opened the door at the third buzz, face smothered in a clay mask the colour of green milk, hair pulled back with a clip, oversized Tatooine Summer Camp tee slipping off one shoulder. Your eyes blinked at the unexpected silhouette in your doorway. “You’re not Dumpling,” you said flatly. 

Hound stood there, breathless and baffled, hair matted down with sweat. “What?” he managed. 

“I’m ordering dumplings,” you clarified, stepping back and waving him in as if he was not new here, even though this was technically the first time he’d been inside your flat. “That place you like… you know, the one with the spicy green sauce that makes you cry and curse in Mando’a?” 

You turned and wandered back towards your couch, noodle bowl in hand. Hound hesitated for a second. He thought about turning around, faking a patrol alert, but no. No more excuses. No more running. Not when you looked like you'd gotten all that unexpected heartbreak out of your system and stuffed it in a nice little box labeled “Not My Problem Anymore.”

The door slid shut behind him, locking in the moment. “I broke it off with Lyra,” he said. 

You didn’t even look up from the stupid holoseries you were watching. “Oh,” Then a long groan followed. “Hound, what the hell! Now I have to dig through the trenches again!” You dropped your bowl on the table and flopped backward onto the couch dramatically. “You were so close.” He opened his mouth, but you cut him off, sitting upright and waving for his datapad. “Nope. Give it. We’re using yours this time so I don’t have to flirt with some Southern Underground girl at 0200 just to trick her into a conversation.” 

Hound stood there, rooted to the floor, and something snapped. “Absolutely not!” he barked, hands flying up. “We are not doing that again!” And just like that, he started pacing. 

“I went on a DATE with a woman who thinks medical science is a SCAM,” he ranted. “She waved a fucking crystal over my back like it was gonna realign my entire bowel system and then fed me fermented root juice that tasted like shit!” You bit your lip. He kept going. “AND THEN! Sweet, wonderful, beautiful, normal Lyra took me on dates. Correction, I took her. She was very nice, very adult! Oh shit, I think I should introduce her to Thorn so he wouldn’t have to sleep around anymore. Remind me?” His eyes widened in realisation. “NOT THE POINT!” He grabbed your glass of water and chugged it. 

“And guess what, the entire time I was with her, I was just thinking about you. And your laugh that sounds like a poorly modded speederbike backfiring. And how you always fake cough after saying something embarrassing like it’ll delete it from reality.” 

“I do not—” 

“You do! And it’s so dumb. And I miss it.” He laughed once, manic. “And I miss you calling me ‘paw patrol’ and ‘war criminal’, and shit like that, and acting like caf is an emotional support crutch and I just…” He paused, turned, eyes wide. “I miss running with you EVERY SINGLE DAY. I miss you yelling ‘KING’ at old men with good coats. I miss pretending not to laugh when you flirt terribly with vendors. I miss the hot sauce in your pocket. I miss you.” Silence. Your clay mask flaked at the corners of your mouth from sheer expression overload. 

Hound dropped his voice. “I don’t want another date. I just want you.” 

You looked down at yourself, sauce-stained shirt, peeling graphic, swamp-coloured face, a literal chili oil splotch over your left tit, and felt absurd. Ridiculous. Feral. And yet this emotionally constipated man had just poured his soul out on your welcome mat like it was nothing. “…You couldn’t wait until tomorrow? When I didn’t look like Bozo the Hutt Clown?” 

Hound blinked. “What?” 

“I have chilli oil stain on my tit, Hound.” 

Cracking the tension open, he burst out laughing, head thrown back, hands on his knees. “Stars, you had to pick tonight?” you groaned, almost smearing your own drying mask with a hand dragged down your face. 

“I ran here,” he said helplessly, walking closer. “Six hovertrain stops. I didn’t have a plan. Just… you. You were the only thing I wanted to run to.” 

“…Okay, that was hot.” Your heart stuttered. He really made your heart soar, huh? But then you halted into a pause. “What’s your pace?” 

“What?” 

“Your running pace, paw patrol.” 

He instinctively checked his chrono. “Uh… three and a half minutes per klick.” 

You whistled. “Damn. PB?” 

“By a whole thirty seconds.” 

“Shit. Was that really all the way from CoCo Town?” 

“Started slow, hit stride at the rail line, then sprinted once I saw your district marker.” 

“Respect.” 

And you both nodded, silently, like that made perfect sense. Until— “Wait. I confessed my feelings.” 

“You got off-topic!” You pointed a finger at him. 

“You brought up my pace!” 

“You answered!” 

And then you both burst into a breathless laughter. Instinctively, Hound stepped even closer, tilting his head, and leaning down towards you. “…So?” 

“You’re trying to kiss me?” With your hands stretching the fabric of your clothes, you made a point of the stubborn stain that painted over the graphic. “Again. I’ve got sauce on my tit. And this mud mask is working overtime.” 

“You’re pretty,” he said without thinking. 

“It’s bentonite clay from some backwater planet, not love.” 

“You’re gonna make me wait?” 

“Two minutes. Let the vitamins set in.” 

“I can’t believe this,” he groaned, hands in his hair. “I run across half of Coruscant, confess to you that I’m in love with your gremlin ass, and you’re making me wait because of your skincare?” 

“…Yeah.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“Correct.” 

The gears turned in your head, fuck it. You grabbed his jacket, yanked him down, and kissed him. Clay be damned. He made a soft noise of surprise and then melted, hands finding your waist, forehead brushing yours, the kiss was awkward and hurried and absolutely perfect. 

When you finally pulled back, breathless, he looked dazed. “You taste like clay and seaweed,” 

“Mask got in your mouth?” 

“Yeah.” He wiped his lips, and peeled a flaky green smudge from his cheek. “Worth it.” 

You pinched his face and slapped it lightly. “Dumbass.” earning another grin from him as if it was the best word he’d ever been called. 

“I’m not kissing you again until this swamp is off my face!” You turned towards the kitchen sink next to you. Behind you, Hound laughed again, arms wrapping your waist, kissing the top of your head as you wiped down the sludge on your face. 

Not another minute later, the door buzzer pinged. “Now, that’s Dumpling,” he called. 

[littledesertfox]

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! My name is Marlowe/Atari! I come to you to expose another neo-nazi in the community. His name is Paul, and his goes by @dertotalenkrieg on Tumblr.

Now, why am I saying this now? Well, I noticed that this user was in the same reichblr server as I was. As I was scrolling through the Neo-Nazi Community under the reichblr, I noticed that Paul posted there.

Content Warnings for Nazi Imagery and Holocaust Denial in the Screenshots

Before anyone says, "This wasn't supposed to be taken seriously/this is out of context." Counterpoint, the implication of the post's caption is that Paul had to obtain this from Telegram. It also implies that he has experience with the platform and its neo-nazi communities contained within.

And this isn't a one-note incident either. I looked through Joseph's likes and saw these posts.

Obviously there are more posts that aren't shown in the screenshots that are noteworthy. The only one I can remember is one that was about cutting a swastika on one's skin.

What initially set off alarm bells was this guy's Discord profile;

I immediately detected the dog whistles within this user's profile. The SS's, the extraterrestrial imagery referencing neo-nazi pseudoscience, and the quote are obvious signs that this person is serious about this.

I deliberated on doing this since I didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, and the fact that this could possibly be traced back to me. I'm hesitant on associating my blog with this community (even though I'm a part of it.) and getting called a Nazi (despite this entire ask pointing to the contrary). I know you guys don't like Nazis, and I'm not gonna call you bad people for having unconventional interests.

The obvious way of avoiding any nazis joining this community is looking for dog whistles, that's your best method of exiling them quicker from your community.

Also, if you're gonna refer to me in your post, my pronouns are they/them + co/cos.

Thank you for reading my ask!

Hi, first of all sorry it took me a bit to respond, I had some busy things going on in real life.

Secondly ew, that's fucking nasty. I wasn't aware that this community existed (I never really looked much into the communities feature in general), but that's just gross and shouldn't have a platform. Immediate report, I don't know if this will just result in (hopefully) the deletion of the community, or if it will also have an effect on the people who are members of it, but as it is public to everyone here's a free block list I guess:

Reminder: Don't go over to these blogs and harass them or send anon hate, it won't do anything and will only give them more attention. Block, and in case they have sufficient evidence of hate speech or other harmful content on their blog, file a report to Tumblr moderation (if you feel comfortable enough to check their blogs that is, I understand that it can be difficult to stomach seeing that kind of content, especially if you're part of a targeted group).

Formerly, I didn't take a direct issue with this dertotalenkrieg guy personally, maybe I'm also confusing him with someone else but at least a few months ago I reckon he posted just historical photos and fairly "normal" reichblr stuff. Never really interacted with him as Goebbels isn't really a focus in my interests, and since a while I had him blocked anyway because he definitely did get weirder (and I just didn't want to see him anymore). I first noticed when he commented on my post to defend that other neo nazi, which should have been a clearer sign to me, however, I always had a hard time telling if he was ever genuine about something or if his entire account was just one big shitpost (personally I also don't believe in the whole reincarnation stuff, at least not in the way that he claims it to be, so the way he behaved about that might also be another reason why I couldn't really take him serious).

However this of course changes that, I never thought of looking through the guy's likes (I frankly didn't even notice that he had them public), but the things he engages with plus obviously the fact that he is a member in that neo nazi community makes it pretty obvious (that photo he posted there has literally nothing to do with historical interest). I kind of wonder now if him believing that he's the real Goebbels is what made him become a nazi (because he thought he had to replicate his "former self" or whatever) or vice versa that him being a neo nazi made him at some point think that he's one of the actual historical nazis. Regardless, he should not have a place here anymore. Thank you for letting me/us know!

[mystycalypso]

Update: I realized I never told you guys my dnd character got a major change up

Why you might ask? Well- at the risk of sounding insane and or even more autistic, and I'm also going to preface this with my hyperphantasia which- I don't actually know if it's why I create like this but according to Kaydin it's not exactly normal so- take that as you will. Anyways, he wasn't alive in his cowboy form. I knew nothing about that man. Which is something that almost never happens when I design a character, usually they are very alive. They have a personality, a voice, they tell me their life story as I line their sketch, etc etc. Azrael was dead fucking silent.

Except for one thing, and it hit so god damn randomly I didn't understand what he was telling me for like two whole days. That being, a clip of the Bobomb vs Creeper rap battle, he REALLY liked the military themeing of the Bobomb's section. I figured for so long that it must've just been voice claiming, or something but it didn't make sense.

I sat staring at this man, trying to understand what his playlist would be, his backstory, (which is meant to include paranoia) how his godly stat (wisdom) was supposed to play into everything, and all I had was that song clip.

So I started doodling aimlessly, scrolling my music and pleading for any life out of this man, even if I had to redesign him entirely.

AND THEN HE HIT ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A GOD DAMN FRYING PAN. AND YELLED,

"OPEN YOUR FUCKING EARS SOLDIER."

And it all just clicked, my hand was moving fast as hell because suddenly he was there and I was drawing him with complete understanding, his gravely old voice corrected me in my ear and his life made sense.

So uh, yeah turns out I was just being deaf to my character until he physically couldn't take it anymore. Without explaining too much about the homebrew campaign, he's a (former) vampiric general, the campaign is a steampunk one and his replacement limbs are iron and similar metals with gems embedded, (ik not traditionally steampunk coloured or gear covered but the vampire kingdom's main export is iron) He's 40 in vampire years (really fucking old in human years), and a necromancer (technically warlock class) (the sword isn't even for him, it's for his skeleton/former husband)

His paranoia is much more the silently cautious type from his years in the war, which is also where his wisdom plays into it, as wisdom is real-life experience put into action.

The war he was in and the damages he gained were from the elven army, meaning he's not exactly fond of them. Expect some shitpost memes about the party's war vet father (everyone else is around 20 something in their species age) along with more au stuff

[antebellumite]

tumblr fake posts but it's exclusively the US congress 1830s-50s. this will probably not make sense to anyone. it barely makes sense to me: [this is a long post. press j to skip]:

12 notes

forthurricane

guys help three senators from my party are outside my door and its a sunday and im scared i think they want something.

forthurricane

they want me to blackmail the president.

2 notes

henrywisingitup Follow

ohhhh goddddd ok so the coworker that called me a slur at work a few days ago IN PUBLIC just got a duel challenge from a friend of mine aslkdf. istg i hate him so much he's so annoying and he needs to resign or kill himself immediately. i hope he accepts the challenge fucking dies or gets shot up. good RIDDENCE fucking turd pile of trash empty bladder dung beetle puppy bastard LIAR. welliamgravely Follow

what'd he call you?

henrywisingitup Follow

an aboliti*nist.

congressionalglobe

Congblr Heritage Post. #congblr heritage post #senblr heritage post #houseblr heritage post #lmao remember when abolitionist was a slur guys #thank u pierceuinfiftytwo #i hate this post #and i think u do too #mod greeley

346,356 notes

Anonymous asked hi i'm sorry if i'm bothering you with this ask but i'm kinda new to this whole politics thing ( was just recently elected by my constituents so this is my first term ) and i would like to know how to get started on congblr? i've been recently appt to the house and i'd love to engage more with the community. do u have any blogs you'd suggest to me? bunnybrownfrench

hi anon!!!! i'm so glad you're here and in the house too ! ( it's where i am- frankly the Better House of Congress too while we're at it ). sadly i don't know what politics or party u have and i mostly scurry round the democrat side of the aisle more than anything, so i might not be able to help u that much, but i can try to give you some good ones!

@/gowestyoungman is a good source for news, and i'm personally a fan of @/mattbradydaggeurotype but @/geopeteralexhealy has some great portraits! obviously anyone has to follow @/oldhickory if they're a dem ( or even a whig ) they have great posts, lots of drama and thought provoking articles. a vv funny scroll. @/greatcompromiser is on the opposite side as a whig, but always sophisticated in their arguments, with nice shitposts in between to lighten the mood if you're uneasy about the american system.

@/jquincy and @/oldbullion are mostly serious blogs and if you're a westward expansion fellow, they're top blogs for u to follow. a bit hard at times, but personally i think they have great humor to make up for it ( unlike @/castironman though if you're here for what he posts all the more strength to u i suppose). @/redfoxkinderhook is also a good blog but they rarely post ( and never anything personal). @/godlikedan is my personal favorite blog. they have everything on there- drama, shitposts, detailed analysis, longposts, important info, aesthetics, etc.

for the rest tho anon, i'll leave it up to you! go out and explore! find the blogs u like; i wish u the best of luck!

15 notes

greatcompromiser hey guys, look at this BEAUTIFUL new commission i just got from @/mattbradydaggeurotype! it was wonderful to work with you, matt! <333

oldbullion

every day i wake up.

#body horror

555 notes

gallerywatcher Follow

why he kinda......

robrhett Follow

this bitch thirsting over baldy mcuseless LMAO

gallerywatcher Follow

hearing strong words from a guy whos blog is devoted to john c calhoun

244 notes

jrandolphofroanoke

i have herpes. greatcompromiser

yeah? and????? we know.

jrandolphofroanoke

IN MY EYES. IN MY EYES.

135 notes

bunnybrownfrench asked: orgies in hell over secession!! dailyaskstotheussenate

i forgot i asked for poem recommendations for a moment.

0 notes

#ask #bunnybrownfrench

castironman follow It is with great misfortune that I continue the discourse of the past week, but due to recent actions by certain other accounts, I have to re-engage with this conflict. Again, I would like to say that I stand firm in by belief that the 2BUS should not be re-instated, and that I resent the idea that I have somehow 'flip-flopped' or 'betrayed' my past ideals or other people in regards to what I believe to only be my own rational decisions, all logical as I will prove. read more

greatcompromiser

oh you've got to be kidding me.

read more

#fucking fuck offfff JOHN #dumbass ungrateful bitch #subtreasury discource #castironman #i shouldve let oldhickory hang you

54,233 notes

theliberator

Hello, all. The Liberator is proud to announce a new mod today to assist in spreading the antislavery message. Presenting: @/frederickdouglass! We're very glad to have a new member to the abolitionist movement, and even more so to have a new mod with us today! We're sure they'll do great work, and we hope you share our excitement as well!

-Mod Garrison and The Liberator Team

theliberator

Hello, all. Disregard this post, since we cannot delete it. Frederick Douglass has been removed from the mod team.

#info #state of the blog #mod update #mod garrison

44 notes

dailyaskstotheussenate

to the anon who asked us when the gag rule is going to be repealed.

the day that john quincy adams finally snaps and decides to murder the rest of his colleagues on the floor.

or never.

#misc

234 notes

thenorthstar

Hello all, Frederick Douglass here. As you might be aware by now, The Liberator and I have since parted. The reason for this is due to several irreconcilable differences, some political, some personal. The drama has since cooled down, but due to the blowout from our conflict, William Lloyd Garrison and I have agreed to since part ways. I am currently running @/thenorthstar on multiple platforms available in my bio.

Garrison and I are still part of the abolitionist movement together, so if you're worried about the harm this might cause to our end goal of emancipation for enslaved people in the United States and the complete destruction of the slave system as it stands today, do not worry. I will be reposting a catalogue of my speeches and writings here that were originally in The Liberator- which you may feel free to mute as you wish. My advocacy for human rights will proceed as normal.

Please do not contact me to ask about just what occurred between The Liberator and I, however, as that is something that I both do not want to discuss, and feel it is unnecessary considering this blog's true content matter.

#info #blog #the liberator #please direct any and all comments about wlg to mr smith from now on

245,234 notes

higherlawseward Follow

Let's settle this once and for all.

littlegiantofillinois

/lmao.

#bro's getting ratioed so hard i almost cant watch. #SEWARD #delete this sewage boy

brecknridge Follow

fellas is it gay to bring a flower to your senate colleague as your first act in congress to express your admiration for him (also from your state)( literally the most famous senator of your era)(you plucked this flower straight from your home state and tenderly carried it all the way to washington dc to hand to him)(kinda cute too)(this is the first time you've met him)(whig party, you're a democrat)(70 yrs old)???

brecknridge Follow

fellas is it gay to bring a flower to your senate colleague who's dying in a washington dc hotel room and sit by him for hours on end talking about politics and personal life before he finally expires his last breath and you tenderly are the last person to gently readjust his pillow as he falls asleep in your arms...

oldbuck Follow

No.

brecknridge Follow

oh ok

43 notes

godlikedan

A gift from a friend. ;) ;) ;)

godlikedan

Wait.

godlikedan

Everyone stop reblogging this. This was supposed to go to my other blog.

godlikedan

PLEASE.

#lmao get wrecked. #always knew you had a porn blog danny

12,000 notes

oldbullion

real talk everyone in this senate needs to stop having drama.

#@/castironman @/greatcompromiser... looking at you both #stop it

133 notes

roberthayne

menstruation sounds so cool....but why doesnt it ever happen to men???

godlikedan

remind me how you got elected again.

76 notes

oldbullion

going to @/oldhickory's inaugeral party. I expect a solemn affair.

oldbullion

F U CK they broug ht t cheeessseeee....

12 notes

jgiddyings

back to work in the senate :D~~~!

dawson Follow

tf i thought we censured you??

jgiddyings

i got reelected :) :) :)!~

#take that mofos #no blocking or muting can remove me NOW #suck my dick

65 notes

memberofthehouse

OH MY GOD I HATE this house chamber so much the acoustics are horrible and its so crowded istg I am blaming Thomas Jefferson for all of this. the room was clearly already too crowded in the 1790s and then the louisiana purchase just comes by and Fucks! Shit! UP???? by doubling the amount of people who have to be stuffed in here??? and everyone keeps on smoking and spitting tobacco everywhere and its too hot??? i think the lead is killing me. i think the air is killing me. i think my colleagues are going to kill me. I DEFINATLY THINK HENRY WISE AND HIS COMPANY IS TRYING TO KILL ME???

Kill me.

henrywisingitup

get used to it buddy.

rogertaney

we're making court decisions in the goddarn congress basement if that helps.

346 notes

littlegiantofillinois

so horny for her

77 notes

chucksumner

just saw william seward and jefferson davis taking a carriage together. i don't get it. am i the only one who thinks that as antislavery advocates we in the senate Shouldn't be playing nice with slaveholders??

28 notes

forthurricane Follow

breakfast is very fufilling i say as a person who's morning meal consists entirely of a carton of milk and one (1) expired bread loaf garrison Follow

everyone please stop reblogging op is literally jefferson davis.

#dni

52,346 notes

goldtippedguttapercha-deactiv

Not to be mean but this coworker of mine needs to get caned. 23,233 notes

senatorero hangman foote threatened to kill me again today. can someone please tell me if this means im part of the antislavery club.

vivelasboston Follow

are you a republican? because otherwise i think it's appropriation.

senatorero

oh for christs sake

#personal 4 notes

littlegiantofillinois

such a cruel world... so many good laps to sit on and no one to let me do so.

#SO MANY SOFT LONG CONGRESSIONAL LEGGGGS #THEY ALL LOOK SO COMFFYYYYY #ah well #no comfort or joy in life i suppose #time to bully president pierce into expanding popular sovreignty into kansas nebraska!!! :)))))) #this won't cause any issues

33 notes

[ilikekidsshows]

There's part of me that wishes you still in ml fandom because there's something that bothered me to no end about Kuro Neko episode in s4, about the whole episode in general but especially so about what Ladybug said at the end of it.

Just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you at all, Cat Noir.

I couldn't picked out why it's bothering me so much like it should be assuring because she means well, right? but it just make my anxiety skyrocketed?? Maybe it just my weird brain I don't know.

I suppose I'm in the Miraculous saltdom now. Almost everything I say qualifies as salt, but it's also peer support for the people who were let down by this show's retooling.

I think I might have said something about Kuro Neko at some point, because I was, like, still checking out what scenes the fandom posted about the most whenever a new episode dropped during season four. It's what made me realize that Miraculous is a subtanceless show that puts singular moments above having actually consistent themes or story arcs.

I think it was a shitpost about me getting New York Special flashbacks from that line from Marinette, because one of the several things about the New York Special that I have criticized was the fact that it places Cat Noir's usefulness to Ladybug over her care for him.

The thing that brings Cat Noir back to Ladybug in the New York Special wasn't her saying she cares about him, that she wants him around because he's important to her, it was her saying she needed him, that she couldn't be Ladybug without him. Rather than giving Cat Noir words of affirmation, Ladybug unintentionally pressures him with the fate of the world.

It made their reunion hug ring extremely hollow to me.

From what I've heard, Kuro Neko is basically just more of the same. Like, the only improvement is that she lessened the pressure, but it's still about her needing him and not her wanting him. Ladybug's words basically translate to: "you're not as essential as you used to be, but you quitting would still make this job needlessly hard for me," which still aren't words of affirmation.

This guy is her partner and she can't manage the bare minimum of emotional connection and vulnerability to tell him she likes him and wants him around.

No, I don't think you getting anxious about Ladybug pressuring her partner into sticking around instead of telling him how she feels about him is weird. It's a red flag.

[loweffortopinions]

Davrin’s Scene with Eldrin 

This was supposed to be a post about the positive aspects of Veilguard, but somehow it spiraled into how I’d rewrite the scene between Davrin and Eldrin. Happy reading, I guess? Let’s start with the original dialogue snippet as it plays out. You meet an elf named Eldrin who clearly knows Davrin. Eventually, you ask him to tell you something about Davrin:

Eldrin: “He sang a lot.”

Rook: “This guy?”

Eldrin: “He’d sing to the halla.”

Rook: “You mean the Grey Warden standing next to me?”

Davrin: “Now hold on—I’d get tired herding them, so I’d hum to keep myself awake, and they slowed down to listen!”

Rook: “So naturally you broke into song.”

Davrin: “Only when humming didn’t work. Just getting the job done.”

Eldrin: “And now the job is caretaker to a griffon.”

Rook (Choice): Diplomatic/Amused/Stern

Eldrin: “Seems my old lessons sunk in. Not every creature in the forest is quarry.”

Davrin: “I didn’t ignore everything you said.

I like this scene. It’s fun, cute and wholesome. That said, it’s not perfect. The dialogue is clunky for one. So let's tackle it!

New Scene Setup: In a quiet clearing of the Arlathan Forest, an older Dalish elf stands beside a lone halla, stroking it gently. Around him, the faint hum of activity carries from other elves tending to their duties, though they keep to themselves. As you approach, the elf looks up, his posture stiffening. His expression is wary, but when his gaze lands on Davrin, his shoulders ease, and a faint smile forms on his lips.

You exchange pleasantries, and then ask him to share something about Davrin. He chuckles softly before speaking:

Eldrin: (Pauses thoughtfully, then grins) “He used to sing to the halla.” Rook: (Amused, raises an eyebrow) “Is that so?” Davrin: (Slightly defensive) “Now hold on—" Eldrin: (With a knowing smile) That’s right. As I recall, you had a thing for 'The White Stag’s Lament'. Always humming about Ghilan’nain and her journey home. Even the halla seemed to know it by heart after a while. Davrin: (There is a shift in his expression when Ghilan’nain is mentioned) "I wasn't doing it for fun. Herding halla’s exhausting, so I hummed to stay awake. That they slowed down was just a bonus." Eldrin: (Teasing) “Funny, I seem to remember a lot more singing than humming.” Davrin: (half-joking, half-defensive) "I only sang when humming didn’t work!"

(At this point, Assan interrupts, trotting up to Davrin and nudges him for attention. Davrin hands him a snack and pats him on the head.)

Eldrin: (smiling) “I see some of my old lessons finally stuck."

(Davrin shrugs, but there’s no hiding the softness in his expression as Assan nudges him for another pat.)

Davrin: (glances at Eldrin, voice is softer) “I didn’t ignore everything you said... some of it stuck, whether I wanted it to or not.”

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert, I’m just doing this for fun. I'm not taking a jab at the original author of this scene. I have the luxury of shitposting on the internet, which gives me ultimate creative freedom without the constraints of actual game development, take this for what it is.

This is pretty much how I’d go about it if I wrote it. I’d probably change a whole lot more if I went through the entire scene, but I’ll leave it at this unless someone wants me to dive deeper.

Thought process

Context: Eldrin doesn’t know about the whole… elven gods running amok situation, and Davrin chooses not to burden him with it.

Let Eldrin and Davrin have their moment without Rook interrupting every other line.

Add more immersion! Instead of characters standing around, I'd have them interact with their surroundings. Too many scenes in Veilguard feel static, like the world is waiting for you to show up.

Add more information! As it's written, we don’t really learn anything new about Davrin: We already know he has a soft side and tends to be practical. So I added a connection to Ghilan'nain.

[askthehoverbase]

what even is a hover base anymore

[Asks in queue: 0]

[This blog takes place after the events of the Rapper Failboat arc during the Failboat ACNH lore, as a sort of strange epilogue featuring the Collision Crew. And if you don't know what any of that even means, please. Save yourself. Turn back. It's not too late.]

[...anyways, to anybody who does know what a Failboat ACNH lore is, enjoy the brainrot ig. More info under the cut.]

THE CREW:

RAPPER FAILBOAT - Leader of the Collision Crew™ and the resident issue-haver thanks to author bias and a whole lot of bad improv. He can, in fact, rap.

WINCAR - A surprisingly vocal iteration of Failboat's emo twin brother. He secretly binge watched all of Sonic Boom within 2 days.

MUTANT CREEPER - The creeper who got to be isolated from society for over a decade. He now has no idea how to use emotions, thanks a lot Failboat.

PIXELBOAT - The caffinated, animated, redstone innovator who will murder Floop (the Failboat channel mascot who REPLACED HIM) one day, probably.

SHARC-CHAN - Local pessimistic shark who actually has an emotional and deep backstory behind that annoyed facade. source: trust me bro

BEAMY - Yes that's the guy from the Beam Attack meme. Somebody dropkick him already.

...Also FAILWHALE is here too. Throw rocks at him while he's still somehow connected to the blog.

RULES:

There WILL be occasional swearing, badly written angst, and maybe even a bit of blood. You have been warned!

Don't be actually rude and spam the ask box or attempt to bully anybody (unless it's Failwhale, then go right ahead). In fact, be silly instead :>

NO NSFW OR DEPICTIONS OF GORE. Don't think that anybody here would like to see those types of things!

boring, bye

TAGS:

[Ask the Hover Base! 🌤] - The tags used for all asks, plus some important posts (which will be indicated as not an ask).

[Shenanigans in the Hover Base 💥] - Used for silly/in-character moments that aren't asks.

[Hover Base Lore 👁️] - Experimental lore stuff (a.k.a. cringe).

[Rapper Failboat crashes out 📣] - he does it a lot and will do it again okay????

there'll be a cross-blog interactions tag soon. prolly

MOD INFO:

hey uh it's @funthirtythreethirty and this blog was supposed to be a shitpost taken seriously I think but then it got complicated and now I'm trying to actually make it actually legible again. so uhh yeah.

[aliciavance4228]

We already know that Adonis' beauty was a curse, considering the amount of people who were into him (Aphrodite, Persephone, Apollo, Dionysus, Heracles) and the fact that the first two mentioned here were very possessive over him to the point where dude ended up being groomed.

But the theory that I'm about to tell you is just... Yikes!

Many people are wondering how is it that Hades isn't involved at all in any myth about Adonis. He punished Pirithous and Theseus when they tried to steal Persephone, so why wouldn't he try to punish him as well?

There are three main possibilities, and the last one is the most... questionable, to say the least.

1. Persephone loved Adonis as a son

I heard a lot of people claiming that. Wheter it's because they do not want the image of their perfect Underworld couple to be ruined by the existence of a lover or because the idea of Persephone falling for a literal child is simply disturbing (though let's be honest, the same could be said about Aphrodite as well) is up to you guys to decide.

Anyway, here is the passage about Adonis' birth:

"Nine months later the tree split open and the baby named Adonis was born. Because of his beauty, Aphrodite secreted him away in a chest, keeping it from the gods, and left him with Persephone. But when Persephone got a glimpse of Adonis, she refused to return him. When the matter was brought to Zeus for arbitration, he divided the year into three parts and decreed that Adonis would spent one third of the year by himself, one third with Persephone, and the rest with Aphrodite. But Adonis added his own portion to Aphrodite's. Later on, while hunting, he was attacked by a boar and died."

Some people consider that the entire Adonis-Aphrodite-Persephone triangle is in fact similar with the whole Persephone-Hades-Demeter situation from Homeric Hymn to Demeter, and that Persephone plays the role of the mother here. However, when it comes to this theory I'm more inclined to believe that, while Persephone slowly started to perceive Adonis as a lover as he grew older, Hades saw him as some sort of an adoptive son and that's why he was tolerant with him all this time.

2. Persephone was very good at hiding her lover

Though let's be honest, Hades isn't stupid enough not to suspect anything and he would've figured that out sooner or later, due to the mere fact that Adonis was a living mortal. It is common sense in Greek Mythology that mortals aren’t supposed to stay in the Underworld before their time, otherwise Hades sucks at his own job.

3. Hades didn't object to Persephone's relationship with Adonis because he was in love with him too

Okay-okay! I know that it sounds weird or improbable, so let me explain.

First of all, it’s Ancient Greece. We're literally talking here about a historical period and a place where Pederasty not only that existed and was idealized by some briliant minds of the time (Looking at you, Socrates!), but wasn't explicitly prohibited even in the cities that criticized it.

Second of all, both Zeus and Poseidon had a male lover (Ganymedes and Nerites, respectively), so why shouldn't Hades have one too?

The thing is that Hades seems to respect his wife as well, to the point where he allows her to have just as much authority as him. And considering the whole Minthe incident, it’s undersandable why dude would no longer want to have any other extra-conjugal relationship so easily. So what can you do with this hot guy then? Well, it’s simple: share him with your wife! 🧠💥

Thank you for reading this shitpost. I really hope that I managed to change your entire brain chemistry and ruin your day. 👍

[adrian-sheppy]

Sorry if any one has asked before but does the whole HLVRAI being like a simulation thing just not apply to the freemanverse?

(ALSO I LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEE UR ART MMMMMMMMMM)

:P

YAY THANK YOU!!!!! I appreciate it a lot it makes me smile when others enjoy my work. and thank you for waiting!!! . i am slow . heres a . martini shitpost make up for it hopefully. explaination under cut :3

sooo everyone just has their different ways of making it work. in HLVRAI, gordon is playing a game canonically but people have made aus where its not a game! so just like that, it depends for each enjoyer of freemanverse whether they have martini as a real guy or just a playable avatar controlled by some being outside of that dimension or whatever. gaming.

extra yapping if you want my take on it:

me personally, I dont like having character's that are "playable characters" in freemanverse because i feel like it cheapens the stakes and emotions. silly graphic to help visualize what i mean

as an example: when you watch hlvrai, youre like oh man Gordon got his hand cut off!! but no. he didnt. it's a game. the player roleplaying as gordon is acting. hes hamming it up for the audience. and that's ok because hlvrai is a COMEDY its supposed to be funny and unserious...

... and freemanverse is a comedy too, but i like to consider it ALSO a drama. it's existential. it cant NOT be existential. so martini? real guy. freemercy? real guy. freerun? real guy. they have real stakes and when they lose something, it is a tangible loss that affects them personally .  I also dont like the implications of playable characters. so for my freemanverse, there are none! that's the fun of freemanverse. we make the rules. we can all have our different versions and interpretations and its cool. ok im cutting myself off now before this becomes another one of my barely coherent essays

[never-not-ever]

We went from massive essays on here to shitposting in my IG stories 😅...

But little update? I should probably see what I last yapped about on here... ah yes.. the crashout at the airport/on the plane... el oh el..

So I had a blast at my friends place in NC. She bleached and dyed my hair. It was a whole 24 hour process, cause we started Friday evening and then spent the next morning trying to fix it lol. Here's a little before and after. Oddly don't have many selfies so these screenshots from my yapping stories will do- hence the weird facial expressions lol.

The pictures kinda don't do it justice and the "supposed to be pink" lol is fading which is fine by me! I didn't really have any idea of what I wanted, just that I wanted a change and to be lighter so that's what we got!

Hair lighter and skin darker... started in NC poolside and now I'm taking full advantage on my Aunt and Uncle's deck whenever the sun comes out in between thunderstorms. We're making progress with the tanning and I'm happy!

I started applying this scar cream a couple times a day to help with the appearance on my left arm. The tanning is somewhat making them more noticeable but honestly I don't really care but guess I do care enough to want to make them slightly less prominent.

So I drove up to WV on Sunday afternoon. Took about 6 hours and I had a tiny VW Jetta as a rental. I was blasting my feel good music and had the sunroof down (more tanning opportunity!) when it wasn't raining- I was on the highway when I got a flash flood alert and the storm was pretty bad! One of the exits had flooded out and cars were at a standstill. I took out zero insurance on the rental cause that's just the kinda person I am and I was so scared I was going to get stuck in flood waters. I saw it on the news the week before in Boston, cars stuck on one of the major highways in the city. All was fine though and I made it up here, obviously lol.

Anywho, it's been pretty chill and lowkey here in WV and it's what I was expecting honestly. They're technically my "Great" Aunt and Uncle but I hardly ever say "Great", too many words. So they're a bit older and my Aunt got sick the other day so she's been in and out of bed not feeling well. She felt bad and was apologizing and I was like "Auntie please! I'm completely fine hanging around the house, don't worry about me"... I've taken their car out to get groceries and go to Starbucks, been loving the sun on the deck, took a walk around the neighborhood earlier in the week. I'm perfectly content with how things are. They've been in WV for over a decade now and at first we'd always go out and see all the landmarks and attractions nearby but the last couple trips things are just lowkey, watching tv, shopping, lounging around.. I'm good with this.

I restarted Wednesday at my friends house so I'm trying to finish the first season to catch up before season three comes out next week. Me and my Uncle started a show called Paradise on Hulu and it's really good! When my Aunt comes down and hangs with us in the living room we'll watch something together even though all of us are playing games on our iPads it's kind of funny lol. I was in a race to finish some coloring collection on an app on my iPad with my cousin. She won, I'm almost done with "Z" lol.

(highly recommend this coloring app, it's called Happy Color, even though my cousin joked that it should be Mad Color cause there's times where you have to find the tiniest little sliver to color and she got mad lol)

So on the dating/guy update... sooooooooo that guy from my last post... he snapped me 2 nights ago when he was drunk... ughhh. Drunk words are sober thoughts I guess. We talked on the phone for like 2 hours, it was nice. He kept saying "sober C is going to be so mad at drunk C for this" he kept apologizing and felt bad for reaching out cause we agreed we'd stop talking so neither of us got too attached and hurt if Boston didn't happen. It was nice talking to him, I missed his voice and his face. He was telling me more about pilot life and it's pretty neat. He wanted to send me a flying post from his instagram but it's private so we're now friends on there... I was like "oh god, now you're going to see all my cringey stories"...

I usually post way too much on there, I can be annoying, and I yap a lot lol. Sometimes I conceitedly rewatch them and I'm like this is pretty entertaining just cause I'm all over the place and a total nut at times... To get back to him- so the next morning we agreed to keep things the way they were. I joked when I'm back in Boston I'll drunkenly snap him next. Honestly that night I was a tad worried about it all starting up again (the feelings and such) but the next morning went a lot better than the previous week lol. We're still on the same page about checking in in August about his bid for Boston..ugh this happened on the phone that night

Me: on your days off you can fly to Boston and stay with me! C: that’s if you don’t find Mr. Right by then.. Me: maybe I already did.. C: you wouldn’t be on the phone with me if that was the case. Me: I was talking about you.. C: 🙄🤦🏻 (but then turned into) 😏

He said that was smooth and I kind of meant it. He said how he thought of me every day and missed me. Ugh x10. As much as I like him I can't just hold out while not talking to him as well. Plus even if Boston did happen it wouldn't be until November.. and this may sound pathetic and needy/clingy but I want a special someone in my life now.

So... I started talking to other guys online. My friend in NC and cousin aren't too pleased and they think I should date around like normal but of course I get sucked in too hard and too fast. I don't know. I'm not too worried about this new guy. I can't (and won't, TMI) explain it properly but he's just so... respectful... we're taking things like extremely slow but he lives in the city and we're planning to meet up when I get home next week.

*weight and numbers talk below*

Body stuff/food stuff- all that jazz... so before I left (last Friday) I was already down to eating intuitively, more so what I actually wanted and also not weighing myself everyday. That being said I did weigh myself that morning and ugh it was in- how do I phrase it, like the tenths? like 340, 280, 150... the 40, 80, 50 part... So it was up like two numbers in just two fucking weeks-of course I finally hit my goal weight, for the first time in my life a normal BMI-granted at the very high end of it... ugh I probably shouldn't be doing this. Like looking back and calculating and seeing the weeks in between and the actual numbers. Like I thought I didn't snap a picture of the scale last Friday and was thinking it was a different number, but I looked back in my camera roll and I guess I did- a pound less than I thought but still it was up in that next tenth of a bracket. BUT it honestly didn't bother me as much as it might seem like it is now lol. Like it ended in XX1 and the two bracket difference from the two weeks prior was XX9 so honestly it's just like a 12lb difference which isn't that bad. Okay I should probably stop this trainwreck soon cause this is getting a tad bit obsessive...

I will say that I'm excited to start going back to the gym and for the same reasons as before I left. Just an hour on the machines, not caring about calories burned- cause tbh I don't even look at that. Just more so I like getting my HR in cardio cause it feels like a better workout. Body wise I feel so bloated and I'm worried I've gained so much weight. Tank tops are a tad more snug and it makes me self conscious and uncomfortable. Actually the funny part is that yea, in the moment I feel like I look so different but I'll look in the mirror after eating, expecting to see myself like 50lbs heavier and I'm like just like "oh. I still look the same I guess". Body dysmorphia is a funny thing.

So all that being said I kind of want to create a lowkey meal plan or just meal ideas. Not getting super obsessed and weighing and measuring out every. single. little. thing like before but just eating a tad bit healthier and more balanced meals and of course still letting myself get McDonalds fries if I drive by and crave them because damn it, food isn't good or bad!

Okay. I think that's all. Funny I thought this would be a short little bulleted list but.... 🙃.

Gonna go make oatmeal, pecan, chocolate chip cookies and then take a walk around the neighborhood if it doesn't rain again!

***********

Also so random but I just put shit in my tags and it reminded me... an old coworker from my previous job was watching my stories yesterday and I was just like 👀. We were pretty close at one point, but I haven't seen her or talked to her in so long. I was expecting a follow or a message, but she just watched a few stories and that was that. oh well. Okay, cookie time.

[spectrum-core]

hi if you don’t mind me asking I’d love to hear more about serrated duo parallels?

Alright, just to make sure we are on the same page because I'm not sure if many people know who am I even talking about when I say serrated duo, I mean this pair of goofballs who I love very much.

Fuckass essay about them and how this thing even came to be (which is not what you asked for but it's still important I think) under the cut, as a warning though this is EXTREMELY long, i'm also writing it assuming the readers have played ruina to completion, have at least glanced at the ruina artbook once and are decently familiarized with the pjm universe and its terminology.

"But Spec", you may (and reasonably so) say, "these guys show up in different story tiers, one is a glorified ranged attack tutorial with a minor lore exposition attached to him and the other doesn't even have anything going on due to being a general reception, what the hell".

So let's get into this, more meticulously organized than some essays I've submitted for my uni classes because I care that much about these guys (don't be like me and do your uni projects, please).

Table of contents:

How the fuck did this even come to be 1.1. Me yapping about character dessign

Liwei as a character 2.1. The surface 2.2. Emotional internal nature 2.3. Resentment

Dong Hwan as a character (sorry can't separate him into many categories bc there's NOTHING THERE man i'm absolutely grasping for straws here i KNOW it, but please bear with me)

Summarizing parallels

If you don't feel like sitting through my attempts to contextualize how this ship came to be and me desperately grasping for straws, feel free to skip all the way down to part 4

1.- How the fuck did this even come to be

Honestly the whole thing started as a sleep deprivation shitpost I rolled with because yeah i like these two guys a lot (if you read that one post talking among other things about why I like liwei so much in the first place, the short reply also applies to dong hwan and... Yeag, the only thing that's better than one hot guy is two hot guys and so on).

There was also an interesting aspect about this because maybe it's just me but based of liwei's dialogue lines and keypage text he suggests not trusting, or even liking/admiring/looking up to, high graded fixers (despite feeling that he's supposed to). With an emphasis put into colors because, I mean, he fucking died because he met one at the wrong moment, but I feel it's a general thing he feels for grade 2s and above.

With this in mind, putting him to interact with a grade 1 is... at the very least it has the potential to put them into a funny mutual vitriol kind of dynamic with lw constantly thinking "what's the deal with this guy? does he expect me to praise him just for having a high grade? well, tough luck, i'm no bootlicker" and dh constantly thinking "what's wrong with this man? is he unable to recognize greatness even if it punched him in the face...? should i punch him in the face?", but it becomes far more interesting when you try to imagine (and, with dong hwan being an absolute background character we can only assume things of from extremely vague hints, pretty much all we can do about him is imagining) what made them both special enough for each of them to think "wait, hold on, i actually like this guy" of the other.

After the initial shitpost stage was over, we (the guy who came up with serrated duo while sleep deprived and me) started talking about why we liked both characters and we essentially concluded that, at least dessign wise, they are the same type of guy (ofc I also added a couple of characters I like and who fit the criteria to my post but this post isn't about them).

1.1.- Me yapping about character dessign

On top of that, if you pay attention specifically to liwei and dong hwan in there, you can notice that there's a pretty neat balance of common and contrasting themes in their dessigns, almost in a two sides of the same coin way, so here's a non exhaustive list:

both characters have a primarily monochrome/dark aesthetic going on, with their eyes being the primary colored element that stands out in their dessigns (yeah, you could say that dh has brown hair too but it's a dark shade of brown that doesn't catch the eye nearly as much as the bright-yet-deep shade of red of his eyes)

on top of that, liwei's eyes are blue while dong hwan's are red (i thought they were reddish brown at first but that's just an effect of the transparency, if you separate the sprite in it's different parts, you'll notice his eyes are actually red), which happens to link with a certain trope about two-sides-of-the-same-coin pairs... (will elaborate on this later trust me).

despite the previously mentioned similar monochrome aesthetic, there's a clear contrast between their styles and how they wear their clothes, with liwei having a much more "only informal if it's more practical that way" type of look, with a focus on practicality over trying to stand out too much (for the most part at least, he was dessigned with the idea of a cool guy in mind after all), while dong hwan is essentially wearing a business suit in the most fucked up way possible (really, what the fuck dong hwan), which of course makes his dessign incredibly memorable. To further elaborate on this (and to add details that don't really follow this formal until unpractical/informal AND unpractical pattern): -Liwei's clothes stay in similar shades of grey and black giving him a more uniform look, while dong hwan uses more contrasting shades in his clothing (despite wearing primarily black clothes, that light grey shirt absolutely stands out, and by extension he does) -Liwei wears long boots, while dong hwan wears regular shoes -Liwei wears a long coat, while dong hwan wears a short jacket -Liwei has a fully buttoned dress shirt with a tie, dong hwan wears his shirt unbuttoned, in an universe where clothes are basically like armor this is essentially him saying that he's confident that his opponents won't be able to hit him in the chest, or that even if they did he wouldn't get too hurt from it, and it's a dessign detail that absolutely stands out in an universe where most characters only show skin in their head, neck and hands at most, as we know since its stated in multiple keypages and cutscenes, if a character shows more skin than the absolutely bare minimum, then that means that A. they are inmensely strong, and B. they are even more confident in their capacities, with this being a tactic to intimidate potential enemies for many factions -Liwei wears fingerless gloves while dong hwan wears regular gloves, while at first glance this detail seems to subvert the pattern, let's be real here... have you tried to hold any object and using it properly with gloves? unless you're wearing latex gloves or something made of very thin fabric that shit's absurdly hard, of course i assume there's weird city tech involved in dh's gloves but at least that's my own personal impression of that particular contrast)

and going back to common but not really details: both characters have something noteworthy in their ears (this is most likely just a result of the characters being visible as chibis in game so the best way to give them memorable dessigns is by slapping somewhat unique stuff in their faces and heads BUT IM GRASPING FOR STRAWS HERE OK) with liwei's earpiece (which serves a practical function) and dong hwan's earrings (which look cool as hell, going in line with both characters' general priorities)

similarly, both have something in their opposite eyes, with liwei partially covering his right eye with his hair and dong hwan having the scar going through his left eye.

the right-left motif is actually very relevant in their dessigns. You see, most character sprites in ruina switch the hand in which they're holding their weapons for certain frames (or at least, this is not uncommon to see), either for rule of cool, clearer silhouettes or whatever reasons. However, in every frame in which liwei is visibly holding his knife, he holds it with his left hand (and when he uses his pistol he holds it with both hands), suggesting that he may be left handed. On the other hand (see what I did there?), dong hwan consistently holds his knife with his right hand, in every. single. frame. of his sprite, suggesting that he's right handed instead.

And of course, both of them have elements in their opposite legs too, with liwei having these two stupid fucking belts (affectionate) in his right leg while dong hwan has... whatever the fuck that thing is, in his left leg.

Of course I'm not here saying that they were given contrasting dessigns on purpose, but all these details end up making both of them looking really cool when put together, specially with how their dessigns emphatize their personal preferences and priorities, something I will elaborate upon in each character's section later.

2.- Liwei as a character

Liwei is one of my favorite pjm characters as a whole, yes i like him more than ayin, yes i like him more than angela, yes i like him more than carmen, yes i like him more than dante, yes i like him more than your favorite sephirah/patron librarian/sinner, no im not saying i think any of these characters is bad or poorly written and in fact i think pjm has made an amazing job with protagonists so far catching my interest even with characters i thought i wouldn't vibe with at all, but i have a thing for unremarkable background guys.

As you may have guessed, this means that i have a lot, and i mean A LOT to say about him.

This also means that I have a very specific interpretation of him, this interpretation, while clearly taking bases from what we can see of him in game, is entirely fanmade and i'm not trying to claim this is what anyone intended to convey with him, but it's what makes sense for me.

This interpretation also strays away from some other fan characterizations I've seen of him. So if you think he's actually, at his core, a serious, formal, emotionally detached and unbearably professional, even outside work hours, guy who's deeply dedicated to the honorable task of murder and who is in good terms with the shi association or holds them in high regard? sorry, but for me he's nothing like that.

2.1- The surface

"But Spec", you may say again, "he does act emotionally detached during his cutscene, he even says that people die all the time! are you sure you are actually reading this character right?"

Of course I'm not, I'm just saying that I'm reading him in a way that makes enough sense to me, but I do have reasons to believe that the serious and emotionally detached attitude is an akward mixture of a facade he puts up to be taken seriously by others and an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, so let's start by analyzing his artbook profile...

Wait a minute, is that..?

Ok, I'll see myself out and continue writing the actual character analysis this is what people are here for.

Anyway, going back to the character profile, you may be inclined to see it and assume "well, that actually just proves that he's a serious and formal dude" at first, until you realize that artbook profiles, due to their in-universe explaination being that they were compilled by roland and angela from the information they could take out of the guests' books, are most likely to be about what the guests perceive themselves as/would say to describe themselves rather than what they actually are when looked at from an outsider's perspective. Further proof of the artbook profiles being subjective comes from how the profiles change almost erratically for distortions and ego users, with people in the middle of both states simply not knowing how to describe themselves, the fact that we lack any information about the agents of the head as they were never booked, or how characters such as tomerry have...

This, which I mean, it's very clear that's just tomerry talking about themselves.

Now, liwei's personality traits, or at least what he'd use to describe himself, are "Meticulous, Efficient, and Sharp". We know that he has to be efficient at the very least, considering the nature of his job and guns in universe, the same thing goes for meticulous, we can assume he wants to do things the right away so that he gets paid, sharp as a personality descriptor can take multiple meanings and frankly i don't know which was the original korean word used to describe him so i can't tell which is the right one but most of them seem pretty accurate, at least when looking at him from a surface perspective.

To be honest, I don't think any of the traits mentioned there is precisely wrong, I simply don't think that they are the main or core ones, but they are the traits liwei tries to show, at least.

Another interesting detail is that all full stop fixer artbook profiles have food related items for the likes and and dislikes sections, except for stephan disliking dangerous jobs.

Not particularly noteworthy for this category in particular but still tangentially linked to a point that I believe is also a core characteristic of all three full stop fixers and that is key to understand all three of them, their dynamics and the choices they make during their reception: they are Poor As Shit, because guns and bullets are expensive of course, we also get to see this in stephan's obssesive fixation in money (come on nobody actually checks their bank account as a hobby... right, guys?), and of course this ties in with wanting to be seen as someone serious and professional people will trust with their money AND with the idea of them having the need to maximize efficiency to... well... you... you know... not end up even worse than they actually are.

2.2- Emotional internal nature

Alright, and here we dwell into the actually spicy part of the essay, at least for liwei's character: the moments in which the mask of a professional and emotionally detached guy cracks and he shows his more emotional, and mostly caring, side. This is focused in the way in which he treats stephan and tamaki (compared with how several other faction leaders treat their underlings).

While I should probably need to read all the dialogue in the game to make sure this is a particularly notorious detail, something that inmediately caught my attention is... the fact that liwei never uses a single honorific when refering to other people, neither he's bothered by stephan's more informal speech and the fact that he doesn't refer to him by any honorific or title either (sure, you could say this is because they were in a life or death situation but also y'know, it says something about you that the people below you don't feel the need to use formalities when talking to you), the only person he calls by title instead of first name is... well, the blue reverb, whose real name we can assume he didn't know, with also him being someone perfectly capable of killing not only him but the guys standing beside him as well, you'd want to be as respectful as possible when talking to a guy like that and trying to negotiate.

(even then he doesnt use any sort of honorific towards him, at least in the english translation of the text, he simply refers to him by title)

He neither uses any title or honorific when talking to angela, despite keeping a formal/respectful attitude, i honestly believe that he is genuinely formal and respectful but... you know, that's not the beginning and end of who he is.

Of course, this isn't a major point, but I think it's worth mentioning considering how important honorifics can be to establish the speaker's relationship with the people a message is directed to, they can be used to distance oneself from others. So in a way it could be seen as him putting himself at an "equal" position relative to stephan and tamaki, as opposed to trying to assert that he's their superior (at least in the context of the mission they were working in, since his title is merely fixer, not operator, president, director or anything implying some form of leadership on his end).

Another extremely important detail is his inmediate first reaction once argalia shows up and ruins their plan is... not coming up with a plan b, not trying to fight him in any way, not doing anything about trying to save what little money they can, he quite literally tells stephan "forget about money, we need to survive now".

His initial reaction is directly just yelling at his team to run away, and this stays consistent once he:

Notices that stephan and tamaki are beginning to argue over the future of their mission and how much money they lost.

Realizes that they can't outrun argalia as long as they're wielding their heavy (and again, extremely expensive) equipment. This says a lot as it shows that he cares enough for the people under his care to let the office go bankrupt if it means they can live.

Needless to say, stephan and tamaki refuse to do so and while he clearly isn't precisely happy about the inevitable confrontation with argalia, he doesn't argue about this, he does understand their concern about money, he's not like the other authority figures who will ignore their underlings' concerns at best and ditch them once they outlive their usefulness at worst (at least, that's what i imagine he thinks as he makes these choices).

Not to mention, once they are in a, if only slightly, safer situation in the library, his inmediate response is trying to comfort stephan and tamaki, things dont look good but theyre at least alive, for now.

And there's this line which... doesn't seem to fit at first glance with the idea of him wanting his office to survive at all costs... right?

That is until you realize that he says that line during yet another argument between stephan and tamaki, as an attempt to get them both to calm down, this could also fit in with him trying to keep or restore the cynical, stoic and serious act, but then again we get to see his more emotional and sincere side once he:

Gets killed, quite literally saying that he didn't want to die yet, at least to me this line alone is enough to pretty much confirm that he didn't really mean it when saying that trying to delay their deaths was pointless, but if you need more, he also acts against that same line when he...

Sees his allies die, and inmediately starts freaking out.

Wins the reception, in which case his inmediate first concern is, again, not money, lost ammunition or anything, but rather if stephan and tamaki are okay and if they will be safe once they return.

I don't think that line was him fully lying though, it does say something about him that makes enough sense to me and fits with the rest of the characterization: that his cynism runs much, much deeper than stephan's.

Tl;dr he is extremely caring and emotional deep inside, and even though he tries to suppress that side of himself it always finds a way to show itself, I feel like in other contexts this makes him prone to emotional outbursts and generally make him an unpleasant person to be around... save for people who are already familiar with his personality quirks and the fact that he is Like That.

2.3- Resentment

Of course, this dissonance between the person he tries to pretend to be to fit in/keep his job and the person he actually is made him grow a pretty strong disliking of... well, everything he considers related to the fact that he has to act like that to get enough money to feed the people in his office.

I also feel like he feels genuine guilt over the fact that his job is essentially just glorified murder, I have no base for this other than the more detached way in which he refers to the church of gears, it almost feels like hes forcing himself to not care because its them or him and his office, and that he has genuine self-hating tendencies because of it (which he also uses his stoic act to hide, he doesn't want to worry his office and become a burden to them, after all), in a way he may be trying to overcompensate by being nice to his office to feel like there's people he can help/protect.

But this hatred towards himself also manifests in the form of hatred towards anything he can blame over him being the way he is and working the job he has.

As I said before, I don't think liwei likes colors, or most high grade fixers for that matter, you may also extend this to figures of authority, influential organizations or even the city's society as a whole (and honestly? i do personally, i don't think he's actually capable of forming any particularly healthy bond with people outside his office because of this, and even then saying that the relationships he has with his office are healthy is... generous to put it softly, this is not to say that he secretly hates the other people in the office, but rather that he fears that they may secretly hate him, because he's the highest graded member of the office, he hates people sitting above him so it only makes sense that people below him hate him for being above them, right?), and of course I'm not saying this because I'm projecting or because I think it's cool and edgy and sad but I actually have bases for this from what I can see in the game.

The first example of him not trusting high grade fixers AND influential organizations being one of the very first things he says when being introduced: that having an important person, from an important organization, belonging to an important section of said organization, approach him and give him a request was shady as fuck.

And he turned out to be right, as Yujin was planning for him and his office to get sent to the library and die there so she could read their books and find some passage saying shit like "well we were found by the blue fucking reverb and our only choice was to come here and die even though we were royally fucked either way life sucks see you all in hell my final message 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕" so she could use that on her favor.

In this topic too, I'm personally firmly opposed to the idea of full-stop office being affiliated to the shi association and this is the hill i'm willing to die on, but I digress.

We see this same resentment on an even deeper level in his keypage where he talks about colors (and we can assume this view extends to other high graded fixers, and to a lesser extent to the hana association), he doesn't sound like he wants to become a color, he doesn't sound like he even likes the concept of colors being a thing that exists in the first place.

The most important lines from these fragments to me being the following:

"A color is the dream [...] of all fixers who wish for freedom.", freedom is a VERY relevant concept in project moon and ruina makes a very clear point about how nobody is free in the city, roland says it, most plot relevant guests say it, some patron librarians say it too... a huge part of the story is how angela comes to terms to the fact that turning human wont grant her freedom and how she ultimately becomes free by embracing her nature as a machine (so free indeed that the head decides to kick her and the entire library out of the city, not only shes a machine that acts like a human, which is already a major city wide taboo, she made a choice that no human in the city should ever make). Essentially, liwei seems to see colors (and im assuming that by extension high graded fixers) as the ultimate example of an impossible aspirational class (think of these "self made" enterpreurs who received extremely generous financial support from their rich parents to start massive companies as the closest irl equivalent, except that obviously not the same, i will elaborate more on this later).

"They put forward the colors as great and successful people that other fixers will look up to. They dream of earning wealth and fame, and to be free like them one day." Why would he be talking in third person here if he too admired colors, or wanted to be like them, or thought that were free in any way? Also that separation between money and fame (something that colors objectively do have since they can afford exclusive high tech weapons and armor) with freedom (something that is debatable, but liwei seems to assume colors don't have) feels too much like a deliberate choice to further push towards that point of him seeing colors as not only an impossible goal to achieve for the average fixer but also that the ideal of a color as someone who is free is something impossible to achieve even if one were to become a color.

"Colors are assigned by the 'Hana Association'. [...] The title of a color is forcibly given to fixers who qualify essentially. Can a fixer be truly happy with freedom that was forcefully handed to them?" This particular fragment, specially the last sentence, is absolutely key for Liwei's characterization, and the final and most important part of him saying "wait, no, colors aren't free, because nobody is" to me. It is also worth noting that this fragment can be read in multiple ways, all of them are important and accurate for his characterization.

He thinks that the responsability and risks that come with being handed the title of a color are far greater than the prestige that comes with the title, can you really say that someone who cant afford to decline requests due to being contacted by the most important organizations in the city, whose closest friends or family WILL be regularly targetted by rivals either to extort them for money or just try to attack them to the point in which most high graded fixers abandon any personal attachment to others, who will have to see the horrible things that happen in the city in an almost day-to-day basis and will likely have to do even worse things in the name of corporate interests is free? Can you really call it freedom if you can't refuse it? Essentially he is saying "actually every single aspect of being a color is terrible and to make matters worse that life is forced on them after they go through extreme miseries in the hopes for a better life but all they get is more of the same if not even worse, they aren't free and shouldn't be refered to as such."

He thinks that in order to become a color (or any highly graded fixer, really), you must essentially lose yourself, which is to say abandoning all friendships or familiar bonds, only keeping shallow interactions with people, desensitizing themselves to whatever horrifying shit they may have to see, abandon all sense of morality as they never know what their next request will be and "im sorry but i dont do xyz, it does against my personal morals" isnt an argument that will work in a place like the city, this also fits into the whole "actually having a much more chaotic emotional side he's trying his absolute hardest to supress but failing" theme mentioned in point 2.2., someone who is so deeply emotional and whose actions are ultimately defined by what is the most likely to keep the people around him alive is obviously not going to like the idea of keeping his distance to them, or to dispose of people with lower grades than him because they were supposed to be expendables anyway.

I don't remember the exact quote and i dont feel like looking for it but in one of gebura's cutscene she claims that all power in the city only serves to strike those below but never up. You have to climb to get stronger and then you'll only be able to assert dominance (through violence) over people weaker than you are, and she grew to dislike this, as she wanted to protect others but was never able to do so because of how the city was dessigned.

Of course, liwei reached the same conclusion but he took the much simpler but much more unhealthy approach of assuming "well, if things are like that, then that must mean that everyone in a position of power (over me) must be responsible for this".

Of course this also comes with the side effect of him being as caring for the rest of the office as he can because he doesn't want to be like other figures of authority as i mentioned in point 2.2, but thats not to mean that things are all fine in the office, i feel like there are several moments in which he internally curses his position of authority but not quite (bc i don't think he's actually The Big Guy In Charge of the office, really), most obviously the aforementioned moment in which he yells at tamaki and stephan to drop their guns so they can run away and live when they clearly dont want to, i feel like at moments like that he feels like they only do things because he tells them to and they "can't argue" (except that they do, fortunately for him the enviroment in the office is healthy enough for the rest of full stops to not abuse this fact, but the "what if"s are absolutely eating him from the inside). As ironic as it sounds his earnest desire to not be Like The Others is the same thing stopping him from being the perfect and efficient leader he wishes to be, and he probably isn't sure of which thing he values more than the other (it's staying true to his own morals and keeping the people under him safe).

However, there's a key detail here that's worth noting: liwei has a tendency to treat everyone else as equals, sure he is formal and respectful when doing so (pressumably even when talking to people he'd rather never interact with if we assume his conversation with argalia was actually how he is and not him just walking on eggshells to not get killed) but he doesn't bother trying to make a clear distinction of who is above and below him, no matter what their title and rank may be, and for people who are used to being looked up to by everyone else this will be seen this as him insulting them in some way, it may come from a sincere desire of him to come off as insulting while not breaking any (major) social convention in an act of malicious compliance or just the type of person he is, that's up to you to determine.

"But how the hell does any of this relate to dong hwan?" we'll get there right now.

3.- Dong Hwan as a character

This is kinda... the hardest point to talk about, because sure I can yap all I want about him but... it's hard to without going "Source: I made it up" too much.

So, looking at his combat sprites you may notice one thing: he is unbelievably hot for real what the hell he has an incredibly smug aura, most people who care about him to some extent i've seen tend to depict him as a very prideful person, and honestly i dont think differently either.

HOWEVER, i feel like despite this he's still a levelheaded guy who can aknowledge his own flaws. On top of that, i think he's a pretty charismatic guy and he's capable of noticing other people's strenghts, and he'll let people know about their own strenghts too.

Also, to contrast with his smug and cheerful exterior, his combat lines depict him as someone very serious when at work, he doesn't even react emotionally to getting killed.

His first "on kill" line is also particularly interesting, as it shows that he prefers to work on his own (unlike everyone's favorite monochrome moody boy), which makes sense considering that he comes alone to the library when you fight him, he may belong to a one-man office (which is the closest a fixer can do to be fully independent, as far as we are aware).

His keypage story also fits this more serious and analytical personality but not much of it is particularly noteworthy from a character analysis perspective, it doesn't say much that you couldn't notice from his combat lines anyway.

Another important factor to me and to contrast him to liwei is... okay, this may be the fact that he's a solo fight and he is, pressumably, an independent fixer, so he's not titled as a member of a particular organization, instead his title (for him, his reception, his keypage and his book) is "dong hwan, the grade 1 fixer", which i mean, again, is most likely just so we dont fight this guy with zero context on who he is and what hes even doing in the library in his own is he stupid? but i like to imagine that the in universe explaination is that he has tied his perception of himself and his own self worth to his grade, to the point in which using both his name and grade is what comes naturally to him when introducing himself, since books are essentially physical manifestations of the soul, then it just makes sense then that his book will give both his name and grade the same importance. This may come from a need to compensate for something else and i actually like to imagine that's the case because it adds yet another layer of parallels with liwei (source: trust me).

Another point is... remember that I mentioned how food was a very consistent thing in the full stops' likes and dislikes sections in the artbook? this point is also not relevant but dong hwan is frequently assumed to be the owner of that pub that shows up at that short side story about roland and angelica which i never watched because i Literally Can Not Care about angelica sorry, but, hey, it's a cute detail, i think he should cook for the full stops.

I feel like there's something to be said about dh's red eyes because in pjm when a character has red eyes you know that means one thing: they will be a big deal, but dong hwan, other than looking incredibly fucking cool and carrying me through the snow queen suppression (FUCK THE SNOW QUEEN ALL MY HOMIES HATE SNOW QUEEN) and star of the city tier 1 (thank you dong hwan i love you dong hwan)… he is rather unremarkable on the grand scheme of things, he's a general reception so you don't even need to defeat him to beat the game, and he only serves to give us some insight on who the fuck was the vermillion cross, and even then he does a terrible job at explaining who he was other than "well, he was a guy i guess" and honestly, the relevance of both liwei and dong hwan is ALSO an important factor in these parallels, as with one being the guy who introduces the concept of colors and the other being the guy who introduces one particular color fixer by casually mentioning being friends with him, both feel like characters who would be much more narratively important in any other story, but here they... aren't.

4.- Summarizing Parallels

Aka the part you may want to skip to if you don't care about me analyzing characters with little background info about them.

So, basically a list of personality (and background, i guess) traits they have in common and how they're different:

Both characters are putting some sort of facade, with liwei trying to act serious and stoic so he's taken seriously while dong hwan... i dont think he even knows what the facade he's putting even is, he's been putting an act for so long that his mask became his true self

In both characters' cases, the first impression they give isn't really the kind of person they truly are (in lw's case this is a deliberate choice and in dh's case i assume that's just the type of person he is), HOWEVER, while liwei acts serious and analytical (and to some extent he is), his true self is far more emotional and prone to form deep bonds with people, while dong hwan has a more passionate, smug and cheerful external attitude but he's much more serious and levelheaded deep down

Both characters have different, conflicting views about their grades, however these differences ultimately lead to both of them being able to treat each other as equals, or as close to that as possible in the city, i feel like liwei can see dong hwan as someone of worth so to speak for reasons unrelated to his grade, while dong hwan does see liwei as a good person (well, good is a subjective term specially in a place like the city) and far better at teamwork than most people in the city, in a way both value something in the other that the other never stopped to consider "hey this is actually a good thing i have"

Both characters are (pressumably?) trying to compensate over something, with liwei putting his professional and formal act to compensate for his sentimental self while dong hwan puts a strong emphasis on his high grade for... who knows, really, i just like this parallel being there because i think it adds a lot

Both have problems forming relationships, with liwei being a generally unpleasant person but being capable of forming deep, meaningful relationships with the people capable of seeing through it, while dong hwan is a charismatic guy liked by almost everyone he's met, but whose relationships tend to be shallow

Not really a personality thing but both characters have a thing for being remarkably unremarkable guys, dong hwan is obviously forgotten by most ruina playes because he's a general reception and the biggest impression liwei leaves in most players is "OH SHIT HE HAS A GUN", even though both are pretty intentionally dessigned with the intention of making them look cool however ive very rarely come across full stop or liwei fans (by which i mean people who like them particularly instead of "actually the entire pjm cast is cool and that includes them) and dong hwan fans are.... yeah, i think ive met like, 4 of them at most (thanks guys i owe you my life)

Something about their combat styles including their passives, liwei's only visible passive is called Concentration and gives him extra strenght for the first turn of a fight, after which he relies in the fact that his attacks weaken the enemy, so he comes off as the sort of guy who prefers to keep his distance and figure out the opponent's weak spot(s) (something he canonically is good at doing) to keep an upper hand at combat, however despite this he's still lacking in both strenght and technique, being only a grade 4 (which i mean let's be real the grades go from 9 to 1 and i feel like a majority of fixers are in the lower grades so he's still pretty much above average but he isnt doing all the cool shit you see the stronger characters do, because that's not the kind of character he is). On the other hand dong hwan's passives have much more cooler sounding names (Fervor, Carver of Scars, Toughness...), all of them focused on either inflicting bleed (status ailment that gradually makes the opponent lose hp)/buffing him against enemies with bleed or buffing him as he gains emotion levels, and his focus is just inflicting bleed like crazy, as well as delivering harder blows against people with bleed, prioritizing raw damage over strategy (but likely being able to figure out an opponent's weaknesses as well, brute strenght alone are most likely not enough to get you far in a world where the powerful people are INSANELY strong bc physical enhancements are commonplace)

I feel like in a way both admire each other, liwei admires dong hwan's capacity to keep a cool head at all times when at work and not letting his feelings have too much weight over his desicions, but dong hwan admires how honest liwei is about himself as well as his capacity to work in a team taking in consideration what will be best for the team as a whole even if it's perjudicial for him in particular.

In Conclusion

Your honor, two of them

[warrmonger-archive]

I'm tossing three at you-

✍ Favorite thing about writing the muse?

😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore?

⌨ What’s a situation you’ve always wanted to RP with the muse? 

Mun talks about the Muse

✍ Favorite thing about writing the muse?

i love writing a character so different than myself - like, not to be arrogant but i don't really see myself as a very nasty person (lol). i really am super chill, maybe dangerously laid-back and side by side with heidegger, we don't have much in common ( maybe our confidence at times c.c ). I love getting to write this character who is so much more than me - like, he's an older man who has experienced wars, battle, the world. he's powerful, in charge. he's like one of the TOP dogs. i find that so fascinating to write.

not just the social / status side of his character though but also his personality. i have a really good time looking at him and breaking him down. why does he do that? why does he do this?

i know a lot of people look at heidegger and just see an evil guy. they see a moustache twirling villain who isn't worth even bothering to look into. i lowkey see it as a challenge. like, as far as i'm concerned - if people are willing to see sephiroth as so much, they should be willing to pay mind to the other villains, too. a lot of the time, people don't because they aren't 'hot'. but i genuinly enjoy fleshing him out for me / my writing partners. everything i get right or that is like increased upon by square is a blessing and it always warms my heart.

it's also a lot of fun writing a villain. sometimes, i have situations where i am desperate to make heidegger do the good thing. but he wont and i know he wont. so when i write it, i have to challenge myself to make him do the bad thing. i have to find his reasons, his justification. i cant just half ass and either discharacterise him by saying 'aw no he does the super sweet thing' or be lazy and say 'hes just a bad lad lol', i have to actually work out WHY he's doing the shitty thing. i just love having that complexity when writing. it can be very tiring but it feels super rewarding.

😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore?

hmmmm, i don't think so. i know some people may look at my heidegger and believe it's solely based off of the remake but he isn't! i tie elements from before crisis and the original in there too! i suppose you could say i ignore his design in the original - i don't see him being so portly, personally. but i do subscribe to the idea that heidegger would have a bit of a tummy; i see his build as being the typical former athlete who no longer works out as much kinda body, y'know?

but personality wise, i like to think i retain as much from his character as i can. all of the ugly included! his scenes in before crisis where he fucks up the turks / army, i explain as being due to an alcohol addiction / incompetence caused by this. and for the most part, remake has followed how he is in the original fairly closely.

a couple of things i carry from the original that haven't been shown / explored in the remake are

the idea that heidegger is beyond stressed due to having take over multiple departments within shinra ala soldier, turks, science department. this is talked about in the og, but not in remake. though i suspect part 3 may touch on it when hojo goes fully rogue. i love the idea of the stress slowly killing him lol

in the original, when the group go to the northern crater - heid's the only one who doesn't leave the highwind. i made a whole-ass story line about how he's lowkey afraid of the northern crater, it's like his biggest fear haha.

generally, although people may see me shitpost A LOT - i like to keep the character as close to canon as i possibly can.

one thing i do want to note on here is sexuality - as i know people would debate me on my choice to make him bisexual. i've always said i dont really write him as openly bisexual, he just kinda is. powerwash sim, arguably, made a point when he randomly comments on sephiroth being good looking. personally, i do think anyone can call someone good looking without it meaning a thing but yo, i'm using it as a point in my reasoning for his sexuality. :D his sexuality though ultimately stemmed from the idea that a man that looks like that has GOT to be hitting up the gay leather scene at least once in a while

⌨ What’s a situation you’ve always wanted to RP with the muse?

*fear and hunger empty scroll* -

o lord give young heid

i have been wanting a young heidegger thread for 84 yrs now. i have SO much of his backstory fleshed out and i made sure (somewhat) it all ties in the ffvii timeline / world. i just want to do anything from heidegger in his mid 40s below. i've written some awesome stuff with people before set with heid in his 40s and would love to explore that and below.

thing is, i write him as being similar but so different back then - he's got the same edge though slightly duller. honestly, he's just a little nicer.

otherwise, i would be so incredibly gangster for a hardcore bdsm smut thread. no cap - it's something i've always wanted to explore but am EXTREMELLLYYYY like picky about how to go about it. not everybody has the same limits in terms of writing, triggers etc and i'd HATE myself if i crossed a boundary with someone so i'd have to ensure the other person was comfortable / everything was chill / what limits heid could push etc. but i'd find something like that fascinating to write!