#those lyrics hit me like a revelation

[chaifootsteps]

Media Illiteracy anon here.

Onto the dreaded episode 4... Warning for SA and all that, of course.

I would like to start by saying that by Definition I am a CSA survivor (I was sexually exploited from age 10 to 16, made to produce CP). But I don't really consider myself to be one since I am not... traumatized by it? I just don't care that it happened. So I don't think I can say much in the way the episode handles SA or even how it might trigger someone who was also exploited for the making of pornography.

That being said. Yikes. I think this episode is the best one so far, as much as it pains me to say that. It's the best paced and it sticks to one plot and the plot... has Some good moments. I really liked the scene where Valentino yells at Angel that he should get rid of Charlie and how he physically abuses him. I think that scene is The best scene in the entire show because of how terrifying it is and how well it shows the damage he causes to Angel as well as his relationships with other people.

I think that scene should've literally been it. It shows physical abuse, it shows Angel's fear, how Valentino owns him (literally) and even implies the SA to come when he says he's going to make him work all day. Overworking is already a horrible thing to put someone through, but as a sex worker there'd be a point where it's no longer enjoyable and you want to stop, which is where it then also becomes rape. That line was Terrifying and made you feel dread with just the Implications of what was gonna happen to Angel, as if This wasn't already bad enough.

Then they ruined it with that stupid song.

Now Poison is not a bad song, in my opinion. I think it sounds nice, and even looking at the lyrics (which is not something I usually focus on, due to the Illiteracy I mentioned), I don't think it's awful. But putting That over a scene where Angel Dust is getting raped On Screen is a bit Very tasteless. That whole scene was Awful, you could easily tell that whoever made it clearly had a thing for it. I'd seen the leaked clip before and that was enough for me to realize how fetishized it was, but seeing there was more was just. Augh. Do they have no shame? It's so blatantly obvious I felt like I was looking at a NSFW Twitter animation.

I kind of hated the aftermath, too. Angel going back to the hotel and drinking was good, but I hated him coming onto Husk like that and then pulling a "a nice guy like me is too good for you anyway". I feel like I had never fully realized before that the Angel and Husk thing was sexual harassment, cause you grow up with movies and shows where like. A female character coming onto a male one is just. Normal, and the result would be them getting into a relationship Anyway, so it was harder for me to recognize that it qualified as Harassment. I think Angel saying that shit made me realize it was and then it was just. Weird. Also the way the line is worded and delivered, it sounds less like that's something Angel is parroting back from what Valentino usually tells him, and more like he wholeheartedly believes it, which certainly didn't help.

Following scene I also kind of like. The bar scene. I liked that even if Husk was reluctant in going, since he doesn't like Angel, and was stalling for time so he wouldn't have to talk to him, he Still stepped in when he saw someone putting something in his drink. I think if this show was written better that could've been a way to show that even those who think they've hit rock bottom are still humans with morals at the core of their beings, and that they still have the ability to care and do good even with years worth of bad decisions and an environment that encourages depravity.

I also liked him getting him out of there and trying to care for him, in his own grumpy old man way. I liked the dark revelation that Angel knows when he's being drugged, and that he just let's it happen because he thinks it gives him some control and that if he's broken enough by this random men, Valentino will finally let him go. That was really messed up.

Then Loser Baby comes on and fucking.

Okay so, I Really like Loser Baby. It's the best show in the show so far. The instrumentals are nice, it's catchy, the lyrics are a little silly and fun, and Keith David carries it, though Blake Roman is not half bad. It's the context in which is used that makes this song just flop HARD.

I think everyone understands what the song was meant to be, and I think it doesn't do Too horribly at connecting both of their situations and how they're not alone because they have each other. It fails at everything else though, because beyond "both are owned by Overlords", Angel's and Husk's situations have Nothing to do with each other, they are Not comparable.

Also calling Angel, a rape victim, a loser is not. Good, even as lighthearted as it is. The song is "suck it up, slut", and while kind of in character for someone in Hell or as grumpy/harsh as Husk, it's still. Yikes? It minimizes the situation way too much, this is not an "Oopsie, made the wrong choices in life" moment. He's getting actually abused and that's not his fault.

Also Alastor fucked off for 7 years and all he makes Husk do now is man a bar where he does nothing all day except drink alcohol. Angel is going through the worst Alastor could've done to Husk, on a Daily Basis, and even if Alastor could be cruel, it would be extremely out of character for him to straight up Rape Husk too. Or torture him without killing him, even torture doesn't seem like something he would do, at least not to Husk specifically.

Husk's lines are tone deaf and kind of offensive, but I think they're passable since it's at least Trying to say something positive, even if they're doing it poorly. Angel's though... Again, you can just Tell someone with a fetish is writing him. I hate how he says "I've got an appetite for samplin'" and "I've got no holes left to deflower". That's super insensitive, it doesn't even feel as an Hypersexuality thing, especially that second line. It doesn't feel like it's "i love being a slut because it's reclaiming my stolen sexuality", it feels like. Shock? Value? like "i'm a big whore", and that's it. It's hard to put into words, because the message comes across in every bad possible way, I have Nothing positive to say about it.

The only good thing about Loser Baby that I like, aside from the sound of the song itself, is the little dancing bits between Husk and Angel. They're kind of cute, I like how he's trying to cheer him up by pulling him up and making him dance with him a little bit.

Augh. After that there's this bit where Husk says Angel needs to learn to respect his boundaries. I Like this scene but the context diminishes the impact it could've had by a lot. It's trying to acknowledge that Angel's sexual harassment is Bad, whether it's a trauma response or not, and that he needs to Stop. And Husk is willing to start from zero with him and become friends if they start like that.

I kind of Like that they're acknowledging that it's bad, and i Would've liked Husk telling him they can be friends if he learns to respect his boundaries but like. Do we Really want to be like that about someone who sexually harassed someone else? That they can be friends? I feel like that is a bit insensitive and offensive to victims. I myself would Not like to be friends with my abuser even if he begged on his knees to be my friend.

It's also implied that Husk and Angel end up romantically involved. If you could excuse the befriending thing, saying that maybe it's not the same since Angel never Touched Husk sexually, i still think that going and making them Lovers is harmful. A "he yanks on your ponytails because he likes you" kind of situation. I like them as friends, hate them as lovers.

Another big problem I have is Charlie. She's a cardboard cut out in her own show. She's a background character in the episode where she causes the main conflict.

She's a bit of a pushover, cause she's nice. Even with pilot Charlie I don't think she's too OOC since calling the news reporter a bitch and defending yourself against her is not really comparable to being face to face with a rapist who is actively harming your friend. She can't just kill him, sinners reform eventually, and then be would be even angrier. Not at her but at Angel, because it's his fault Charlie even got to lay a hand on him in the first place. I think it's a more complex situation than "why didn't she just kill him".

But for as complex as the situation could be, Charlie is extremely. Simple. She barely appears and it's just "I'm sorry" and it's all fixed. I feel like there could've been a bigger emphasis on Charlie's and Angel's relationship (even while still keeping Husk's involvement in it all). I also kind of hate the treatment of her? Like how when Angel says he forgives her, she Cries and is carried away by Vaggie. Idk, that scene made me a bit uncomfortable. They treated her as if she was a child and it was Weird.

I think this episode had a lot of potential to be good and fumbled the bag catastrophically. Husk and Charlie are Worse characters because of it.

That's all. I can only hope the plot twist leaks aren't true, because this story is barely salvageable and that "Rosie is actually Lilith" bullshit will just ruin my experience from how stupid it is. You can be as painfully oblivious as me and this show will still find a way to make itself as dreadful as possible. I really don't understand why so many fans are so aggressive about criticism, I think they also see the disappointing bits but are far too committed to back down and admit they were wrong, so they just double down. I liked Most of the show, even though it's mostly because i already had Some attachment, curiosity and knowledge from before. But it's not as good as it had the potential to be, nor is it the single best show to have ever existed. It's honestly sad that many people, such as myself, have to go on anon on a poor person's blog to lightly criticize the show, because they're too afraid to be harassed or sent their literal house address on a direct message.

Thank you and goodnight, Chai!

You see, this is what I get out of running this blog. You guys write up these fabulous essays taking all the words out of my mouth, and it's deeply cathartic.

Try to hang in there. Vivzie's fandom will probably never go away completely, but I really do think their reign of terror is coming to an end.

[notroosterbradshaw]

ahhh maybe 21 with rooster? 21- Having your lover list everything they're insecure about, and responding with gentle caresses, kisses, and compliments about those areas.

21. Having your lover list everything they’re insecure about, and responding with gentle caresses, kisses, and compliments about those areas.

Nonny, I'm writing this after a few drinks, so my mind is wild. Trying to keep it above board tho. Ladies' night, cock talk, dancing, drinks. Rough thots. All those cheeky things you may talk about when out with your mates. Then fluffy stuff. Enjoy x

Hearing the front door open and a few choice curse words, Rooster chuckled quietly to himself, pausing the game. Not too concerned, he already knew his Phillies won, but it was nice to watch the game in peace. "Baby, you good?" he called.

"Oh, you're still up."

"Have the weekend off, I'm ragin', babydoll," he joked. Hearing a thud, he cringed and asked again if you were okay.

"I'm good," you confirmed. He heard the sound of items hitting the wall - two, your heels, he bet - and you appeared a moment later, hair wildly sexy, eyes a little bloodshot and a wide grin on your face. "Hi, gorgeous."

He raised an eyebrow, giving you his attention. "Hi, babydoll. How was your night?" he bit back a grin.

"Really good," you told him.

"Lots of dancing?"

"Yeah. My feet are aching. My back is completely out of alignment from those heels."

"I could have come and got you," he reminded you.

"Shared an Uber with the girls. I knew you wanted to watch the game, it's all good."

"Thank you," he said softly, his eyes watching you move towards him. "Catch up on all the gossip?"

"We don't gossip, we state facts."

"My apologies," he laughed. "Dick talk?"

"Always. Yours reigns supreme, baby and everyone knows it."

Rooster winked. "As they should."

"But they will never really know."

"No," he agreed. "Only you."

"I'm very, very lucky," you told him with a grin.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he murmured, his voice a little rougher as he tried to keep his amusement to himself. "You can keep stroking my ego though. If you want to, of course," he begged, teasingly.

"You stroke your own ego just fine, Bradshaw."

He shrugged modestly. Who was he to argue?

You laughed, stretching. "You want me to wax lyrical about your cock?"

"Haiku form, please?" he demanded, knowing the impossible wasn't about to happen.

"Okay, lemme try..." you inhaled, trying to remember what the fuck a haiku was. Bradley chewed his lip, trying not to lose it. You weren't drunk, nowhere near it, but you were certainly looser than usual. He loved that for you. You didn't go out with your friends as often as you should, and knew you revelled in nights just like this. "Okay, okay," you grinned. "Ready? I think I got this."

"I don't think you do, but be my guest, baby," he watched you take the floor.

"Rooster is his name," you counted the five syllables on your fingers, he licked his lips, actually about to lose it. "And he has a six-foot frame. And nine inches hard."

He cackled. "You are insane, I'm very impressed," he stood up and greeted you with a warm kiss. "You tell everyone you meet about the nine inches, right?" he teased.

"I rounded up," you reminded him. He didn't argue but pouted anyway. It wasn't a generous roundup and the locker room gifted his Rooster for it. "But usually I don't even offer a name. Just tell everyone my sexy naval aviator husband has a huge cock. You wouldn't believe how many often I am asked how I'm walking straight," you reminded him.

"All right, all right," he laughed, his dimples deep and bold. "People don't need to hear anything after nine inches, baby."

"Bradley Bradshaw, you are so full of yourself."

"Sure am, I'm the 1%. I got it all. Perfect partner, perfect house, perfect job - " he paused. Your glare told him he was incorrect. "Even if you don't agree and I'm away far too long," he held his palms up and rested them on your shoulders, leaning down to kiss you and whispered, "Sorry, I give, I give. Did you eat?"

"We ate, still hungry though. Did you leave any pizza?" you asked hopefully, as he hoisted you into his arms and fell back against the couch, you perched perfectly on his lap.

"Of course."

"You're the perfect man."

He scoffed, knowing how untrue it was. "Thank you, but you know I'm not."

You kissed him and kissed him thoroughly. He was a tender kisser, or at least knew that was how you needed it. "I missed you, lover. I love being with my friends, but this is so much better. Don't tell them though."

"Never, sweetheart. Your secret is safe with me," he pressed a kiss between your brows. "You look very sexy."

"My feet hurt, my back hurts, I think my make up is melting like The Joker."

He grinned. "Just how I like it," he teased.

"You're such a pig," you giggled, resting you head against his clavicle, appreciating the shirtlessness. His cologne invaded your senses, his skin hot, as always.

"Do you have any idea..." you murmured quietly, hiking up the skirt of your dress, to sit comfortably. Your hands rested on his clavicle, pushing in to massage his strong traps. He licked his lips at your advances and eased you both back against the back of his seat, preparing for anything you were about to give him. "Do you know, you probably do, just how sexy you are to me?" you asked, your face staring intently at his.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, a humoured smirk gracing his features. "So, you’re booking in to the optometrist next week, I see?" he chuckled darkly as you wriggled to rest on the hefty muscles of his quads. He wasn't surprised to hear your breathy gasp. You'd had a few drinks with your friends after work, leaving him all alone at home to his own devices (he watched his team play baseball, he was fucking fine) but you were fairly sober, he knew when you were drunk, this was not it. You may have been a little more turned on and chattier than usually though and he was very pleased with this.

"Look at your beautiful face," you told him, holding his jaw in your palms. "You are just so gorgeous, Bradley."

He made a face, not quite believing you. He knew what he looked like, he knew the scars that marred his skin and you knew how self-conscious he was about them. He'd tried lotions and potions, anything to help reduce the scarring. Laser too, but nothing really faded the wiry marks from a mid-air incident when he was a young pilot. He was lucky to live, and walked away with a few cuts, scratches and pretty banged up. A lot more than his father was ever allowed and that’s why he tried not to make too much of it.

“You know I hate them,” he lowered his eyes, embarrassed. A bit angry at his lot.

But you knew. He knew you knew how unsure of himself they made him feel. You never made a big deal of them. They were such an innate part of him, and he never spoke of the incident. You only learned about it during a conversation with Natasha. She was so surprised to learn you didn't know that she figured she overstepped the mark. She told you later that Rooster was so angry that she'd told you what had happened and hoped it hadn't caused any problems for you. It was early days then, when he'd do anything for your attention, sing, crow, buy all your drinks, shoo other suitors away.

You were in love with him the moment he introduced himself. He was a young aviator in port so far from his home, uniform a little tight from the burgeoning muscles he was clearly working on. Moustache that was growing in. His voice roped you in immediately as you shared a quiet beer. You'd lost your heart to him the second he introduced himself by callsign and you laughed at him. He blushed so redly from his chest to the tips of his ears. You were enamoured right then and there. You were so proud of him but you waited the day he said he would he retiring and keeping his feet planted on the earth.

Those days weren’t as close as you wanted though.

“I love every single part of you,” you reiterated. “These would never make me love you less, Bradley.”

He only murdered a gun in reply.

You lifted his gaze and traced every blemish, and kissed his chin. You thumbed his upper lip and the scar across his cleft, kissing his lips tenderly. "I love you, Bradley Bradshaw. Scars and all," you devoutly gave him everything he deserved.

You knew you words didn't soothe his disappointment but he'd be lying to say that each time your sweet lips gave love to the raised skin, it sent shockwaves through his system, the nerve endings so sensitive and it made him feel invincible.

But it didn't change what he looked at in the mirror.

You inhaled as you kissed his Adam's Apple, the longest of his scars. He swallowed roughly, his palms knotting in your hair. "Fuck, that feels so damn good, baby,” his voice lower and deeper than before.

"I know, baby," you said, trailing gentle kisses across his neck, towards the gnarliest of his scars on his shoulder.

"Thank you, babydoll," he said softly.

"I know you hate your scars, but they absolutely take nothing away from who you are. You strong, sweet, so smart, a smart ass," you told him, kissing his full lips as he resisted smiling. "And so fucking sexy, and honestly, nothing you can tell me will ever make me think differently."

SEND ME A PROMPT, I’LL WRITE YOU A DRABBLE.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x

[conquerthenight]

I’ve been thinking nonstop about the time someone on ao3 mentioned that Maxim took on some of Rebecca’s worst traits as a way to cope with (or that some of his own worst traits were exacerbated by) the abuse he endured by Rebecca’s hand. And that honestly makes so much sense.

None of this an excuse for how he behaves, but I think it could be an explanation.

I mean, think about it. We know he has quite the horrible temper. In the musical Beatrice states that he was “the same way as a child” meaning that his anger issues have always existed in some way. Of course that is most likely true, but take that and add in years of emotional abuse and it’s certainly a recipe for disaster. What used to be an ordinary bad temper became something border lining on volatile over the years. We see that in those moments Maxim snaps at his second wife. In the musical, during the first boathouse scene, Maxim rushes after his wife who had run offstage in terror, as if he was about to hit her before ultimately realizing what he was about to do and stopping himself in his tracks.

We know that Maxim can be quite cold and distant when he wants to be. At times he is also super patronizing and mocking. In the musical it’s a bit less so (but even that has the “you react like a child” line) but in the book he’s constantly talking down to his wife. Perhaps he does so because Rebecca did the same to him? Of course, Rebecca definitely didn’t compare him to a child as Maxim did to his second wife, but she could have mocked him with his insecurities (his obsession with holding up his family’s reputation, his intense desire to be seen as a strong figure and the toxic level of pressure he puts on himself as a result).

And of course, we can’t talk about Maxim or Rebecca’s worst traits without mentioning manipulation and the abuse of power dynamics. And what’s more is that both of them are fully aware that they are manipulating the situation. Rebecca sought to control Maxim by holding her affairs, Manderley’s standing, etc. over his head knowing full well he either wouldn’t or couldn’t (or a combination of the two) divorce her. See the lyric in “Kein Lächeln war je so Kalt”: “Divorce was taboo for the de Winter family. The family honor was worth more to me than my pride, and she relished in her triumph”.

Likewise, Maxim knows full well that his second wife came from basically nothing. He knows she’s financially dependent on him and that should their marriage fail in some way, she would have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He even outright admits to her that he “did a selfish thing” marrying his second wife and that he “should have waited and let [his wife] marry a boy of [her] own age”. He knows that he has (and arguably still is) manipulating the dynamics in his own favor until the very moment he confesses to Rebecca’s murder and the power shifts from Maxim to his young wife.

Both Maxim and Rebecca know that they are absolute monsters. But it’s important to also note where they differ. While Rebecca revels in her absolute assholery and abusiveness, Maxim’s situation is the opposite. He hates himself for his own assholery and has basically condemned himself to a suffering of his own making.

Ironically, Mrs. Danvers said it best: “He’s made his own hell, and he has no one but himself to thank for it”. Was Mrs. Danvers just trying to get under the new Mrs. de Winter’s skin and hit her where it would hurt most? Yes. Was it said out of bitterness over Rebecca being replaced? Yes. But was she correct in her assumption? Also yes.

And of course, the key difference between Rebecca and Maxim is that all important shift in power. Rebecca held the power for almost the entirety of their relationship, and Maxim sought to take that power back through any means necessary resulting in Rebecca’s murder. When Maxim eventually confesses to said murder, it serves as an act of giving up that power he had claimed by killing Rebecca. He can no longer hold the weight of it because he knows he is damned and thus power transferred itself to his second wife. Where he was previously codependent on Rebecca, his second wife became codependent on him upon their marriage, and ultimately he became codependent on his wife upon his confession.

This is where the adaptation of Rebecca’s traits begins to fade. Maxim becomes basically a shell of himself, barely keeping it together through the rest of the story if not for the influence of his wife. He becomes as reliant on her as she had previously been reliant on him. This toxic cycle is only truly broken with the burning of Manderley. Only then are they equals. Only then do they begin to truly grow.

Rebecca, on the other hand, never got that chance. It was taken from her by the very man she had ill used. She knew that her “pregnancy” was a lie. She knew that her cancer diagnoses would damn her to a slow and painful death. Did that stop her from perpetuating the cycle of abuse? No. Instead she continued with it until her last breath, passing the torch to Maxim in the process.

Maxim certainly was no innocent. He perpetuated this toxic cycle as well. The only difference was that the person he passed it onto ended up not only breaking the cycle, but also gave him the opportunity to heal from it. He knows he isn’t worthy of it. We as the reader/viewer somewhat know that too. And yet the second Mrs. de Winter unknowingly grants him this post Manderley fire. Maxim has the opportunity to redeem himself where Rebecca did not.

Whether he takes the opportunity or ultimately succumbs to his inner demons (figuratively or literally) is completely up to the one consuming the story.

Personally my opinion is ever changing. While the optimistic part of me believes that he does work to better himself and ultimately succeeds in doing so, the realistic part of me wonders whether that’s the case. Of course, when I am of the realistic opinion I don’t think he reverts back to the traits he took on from Rebecca and those that were made worse during his relationship with Rebecca, but rather he wallows in a state of being that is just numb to it all. He is stagnant in his recovery because he believes, he knows, that he is beyond help. Things don’t get worse, but they certainly don’t get better either.

Ultimately Maxim de Winter is a character that foretells the tragedy of abuse and how the cycle of abuse can continue in ways that those trapped within it don’t comprehend until it’s too late. He is and isn’t a victim. He is and isn’t a perpetrator. We root for his relationship with his second wife on our most hopeful days and yet we don’t on our most cynical. He is an asshole. He is a dick. He isn’t exactly the best of men. And yet he is also broken. He is lonely. He is lost.

He finds what he is looking for in the end to an extent. A love that, while not exactly the healthiest, sets him on a path to becoming a better person. The relationship between Maxim and his second wife is in a way just like the drive leading to Manderley itself. Constant twisting and turning, plenty of bumps in the road, obstacles that temporarily prevent them from moving forward. And the beauty of it is that they do, in their own twisted way. They move on from the cycle of abuse they started in, however irreparably damaged and emotionally numb Maxim may be by the end.

“Love that liberates”. I’ve seen plenty of debate over whether that signature line from the musical is applicable to the story of Rebecca and the journey the de Winters take. My two cents is that it is, although the love itself isn’t what liberates the de Winters, Maxim in particular. Maxim may delude himself into believe that the love his second wife shows him despite his crimes is what liberates him, but while it certainly sets the foundation for their liberation from the cycle, in the end it is he who must crawl out of the hell he created for himself. No one can pull him out of it but himself.

[luminalunii97]

A while ago, the first season of the Voice Of Persia was aired. Of course the competition took place outside of Iran, and only those who have immigrated could participate.

In the last couple of decades, Persian music have been in a slumber. Music is kind of forbidden in Iran because the regime deems it anti Islamic. Women aren't aloud to sing at all and men can only sing in specific genre and topics that the regime considers appropriate. It's understandable why good music, with a couple of exceptions, wasn't being made and new talents were being buried.

So the voice of Persia was a great opportunity to showcase new talents who have managed to skip Iran.

Anyway, I said all of this to get to this song. The finalist and winner of the competition performed this song on the show and I realized even though I knew the original singer for years (he's a political singer and had to flee Iran years ago), I somehow missed this poetic piece. So I've been obsessed with it ever since. I wanted to share it with y'all.

This is a protest/critical song with some symbolizations. The lyrics are from Iranian poet, Yaghma Golrouee. He's also the lyricist of the song Our Dream. The song came out about 10 years ago. I added explanations for the lyrics in parentheses:

Driving Drunkenly by Shahin Najafi

من یه گلایلم که تو این سرزمین شوم

راهم به قبر و سنگ گرانیت میرسه

I'm a Gladiolus flower who in this ill fated land

Find my way to a grave and granite gravestone

(In Persian culture gladiolus is used in funerals and to visit graveyards. It's the flower of the dead)

هر روز به قتل میرسم و شعر من فقط

به انتشار شعله کبریت میرسه

I get murdered everyday and my poem only

reaches to spread the match's fire

دردم هزار ساله مثه درده حافظه

درمونشم همونیه که کشف رازیه

My pain is a thousand years old pain like Hafez's pain (a Persian poet)

The cure is Razi's discovery (alcohol)

نسلی که سر سپرده عصر حجر شده

به ساقیای ارمنیه پیر راضیه

وقتی که زندگی یه تئاتر مزخرفه

تنها به جرعه های فراموشی دلخوشم

The generation who became a devotee of the stone ages

Is now happy with the old Armenian wine dealers

When life is a trashy theatrical show

I only find comfort in to-forget gulps

راسکول نیکف یه پیرزنو شقه کرده و من

با اون تبر فرشته الهامو میکشم…

Raskolnikov chopped an old lady but I

would kill the angel of revelation with that axe

هی مست میکنم مثه یه بطری شراب

که وقتی پاش بیفته یه کوکتل مولوتوفه

I get drunk like a wine bottle

that would turn into Molotov cocktail when the need arises

یه مجرم فراری شدم که تو زندگیش

درگیر یه گریز بدون توقفه

I became a wanted criminal who in life

he's stuck in a fatal car chase (x2)

فرقی نداره جادۀ چالوس و راه قم

من مستی ام که خوش داره رانندگی کنه

There's no difference between Chalus Road (a touristic road) and highway to Qom (a religious city) for me

I'm a drunk who likes to drive

یه ماهی که تو آکواریوم زار میزنه

تا توی اشکهای خودش زندگی کنه

I'm a fish who is crying in an aquarium

So that he can live in his own tears

باید تلو تلو بخوری این زمونه رو

وقتی که مست نیستی به بن بست میرسی

You should stumble drunkenly in this life

Because when you're not drunk you reach a dead end

تو مستی آدما دوباره مهربون میشن

حتی برادرای توی ایست بازرسی

When you're drunk people are kind again

Even the brothers (police officers) in roadside checkpoints

میخندن و به دست تو دستبند میزنن

راهو برای بردن تو باز میکنن

They laugh while they're handcuffing you

They clear the way to take you

تو دام مورچه ها به سلیمان بدل میشی

قالیچه ها بدون تو پرواز میکنن

In ants presence you become the Solomon

The carpets fly without you

این بار چندمه که به یه جرم مشترک

هشتاد تا ضربه پشت تو هاشور میزنه؟

How many times for the same crime,

Your back has been shaded in with 80 counts of hits?

(The punishment for drinking alcohol is 80 lashes)

برگرد خونه حتی اگه با خبر باشی

تنها دل خودت برای تو شور میزنه…

Come back home even if you know

You are the only one who gets worried about you

تو یه گلایلی و تو این سرزمین شوم

راهت به قبرو سنگ گرانیت میرسه

You are a gladiolus and in this ill fated land

You find your way to a grave and granite gravestone

هر روز به قتل میرسی و شعر تو فقط

به انتشار شعله کبریت میرسه

You get murdered everyday and your poem only

reaches to spread match's fire

هی مست میکنی مثه یه بطری شراب

که وقتی پاش بیافته یه کوکتل مولوتوفه

You get drunk like a bottle of wine

That will turn into a Molotov cocktail when the need arises

یه مجرم فراری شدی که تو زندگیش

درگیر یه گریز بدون توقفه

You are a wanted criminal who in life

Is stuck in a deadly car chase (x2)

Ps; If you're interested in checking the voice of Persia I recommend watching Amin yahyazadeh, the winner who is the main vocalist of an English language metal band. Also Maria who is a new female rock singer.

Ps2; drunk driving stands for living in defiance of the regime./ Killing the angel of revelation is the poets disdain for religious ideologies./ Deadly car chase is the dangerous life of an opposition./ The generation who became the devotees of the stone ages are the people who in 1979 revolution rooted for today's theocracy. And now they beg for the scraps of the freedom they willingly gave up./

Hafez is one of the greatest Persian poets who used wine and drinking metaphorically a lot in his poems. I guess this poet was inspired by that./ Razi was a Persian physician, philosopher and alchemist who discovered a way to extract alcohol from fermented materials./ Getting drunk like a bottle of wine that could turn into Molotov cocktail means living in defiance of the regime and also be ready to fight it actively./ The surface meaning of the poem about drinking and getting punished is valid too.

That's all I could think of in case you missed any metaphor or double meanings.

[eurydicees]

55!

55 for the spotify wrapped prompts!! apologies for the delay, please take my humble iwaoi offering. i DID in fact, out loud, to an empty kitchen, say, "fuck they're so cute" when i finished editing this. literally so fluffy it's sickening. enjoy!!

if i tell you i want you forever

summary: a car ride. a song. and a proposal, of sorts. prompt: spotify wrapped #55, paper rings by taylor swift pairings: hajime iwaizumi/tooru oikawa words: 1436 warnings: none 

They’re driving, Oikawa behind the wheel and Iwaizumi in the passenger seat. Iwaizumi is fussing with the music, tapping at Spotify playlists on Oikawa’s phone as if it were his own. He finally finds a song that he likes, and he lets it play; and the thing is that he doesn’t even like this song that much, it’s not really his taste in music, but Oikawa is singing along, tapping his hands on the wheel, and that’s enough for Iwaizumi. 

And the other thing is that Oikawa is not a good singer. He doesn’t know how to sing, is always just slightly off key, is always a beat behind the track, always fumbles with the words when the singer goes a little too fast for his tongue to keep up with. He’s not good at singing at all. 

Iwaizumi sits in the passenger seat, though, and he stares at Oikawa in the driver’s seat and he listens to him sing the words all wrong, and he thinks, I want to be here for the rest of my life. 

The thought that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Oikawa is not a groundbreaking epiphany. It’s something that he’s always kind of, sort of known—something that’s always lived on the periphery of his plans for the future. When he was a kid and imagining his future, Oikawa was always there: sometimes in the apartment or house next door, sometimes just in the same city meeting up for coffee every week. But always there.

So this revelation about wanting to spend the rest of his life in the passenger seat of Oikawa’s car, listening to him sing off key, is not a revelation that comes out of nowhere. He’s always known that he wants to forever keep Oikawa in his life whether it be in one form or another. 

But, at the same time, it’s different now. It’s different because they’ve been dating for three years and how soon is too soon to tell someone that you want to listen to their rendition of a bad pop song for the rest of your life? How soon is too soon to tell someone that having these moments—driving down the highway into the sunset, the windows rolled down and wind fussing with their hair, the music blasting and their voices louder—means everything to you? How soon is too soon to tell someone that they’re kind of everything, kind of it for you? 

Iwaizumi doesn’t know, but he’s also never successfully kept a secret from Oikawa and he thinks that probably this realization isn’t something he’s going to be able to keep to himself for very long. He doesn’t want to scare Oikawa off, but if Oikawa hasn’t been scared off by now, he might never be. That may be impossible to do. 

He stares at Oikawa: watching his mouth move around the wrong lyrics to the song; watching those long, slender fingers tapping out the beat on the steering wheel at the wrong tempo; watching the wind tangle its hands in his hair and mess with the styling he had spent an hour on earlier that day; watching his gaze, soft on the road, and those beautiful eyes; watching him smile a little as an instrumental break hits. 

He loves him. He loves him. 

This is something that has always been true and always will be true. He’s sure of it. He wants to spend the rest of his life watching this boy’s happiness openly written over his face. He wants to spend the rest of his life at this boy’s side. He’s watched Oikawa grow up, he’s grown up with Oikawa, together at every step of their lives, and he sees no reason that he shouldn’t be at every future step. 

“You’re staring at me,” Oikawa says. He doesn’t sound particularly bothered by it, but there’s a pink flush at his cheeks and Iwaizumi isn’t sure if its the bleed of the sunset lingering on his skin or its the weight of Iwaizumi’s staring making him blush. “What’re you thinking in that head of yours?” 

The empty stretch of highway seems impossibly long. There’s much too long between here, at mile marker 328, and the motel they’re headed to for their anniversary celebration’s week away. There’s much too much time between now and then for Iwaizumi to keep this to himself. 

“I love you,” Iwaizumi blurts out. The words feel too big for his mouth, and he feels clumsy in his confession, like it’s his first time saying it all over again. 

The pink at Oikawa’s cheeks deepens, and Oikawa smiles a little. “I love you too.” 

Iwaizumi continues, blunt as ever, stumbling over the words a little, “I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We—can we get married?” 

Oikawa’s eyes go wide. He glances over at Iwaizumi, a sharp turn of his head, and then swears and turns back to the road. Iwaizumi’s heart drops into his stomach, fuck—he said it too soon, said what he shouldn’t have, he’s ruined everything, but he can’t stop talking. 

“You deserve a real proposal,” he manages to choke out, “with gold rings and diamonds and shit. But I—I want to be with you forever. I want this forever. And I want you to know that. I want you to know—” 

Oikawa puts his blinker on, signaling the move to the empty road, and swerves to the side of the road. He parks the car on the shoulder of the highway, his breathing heavy—Iwaizumi’s heart is in his throat now, pouring out a confession that Oikawa clearly isn’t ready to hear—and then Oikawa says, “Are you—are you serious?” 

He’s crying. There are tears gathering at his eyelashes and Iwaizumi is terrified. He knows Oikawa loves him, of course he does, they’ve been dating for three years and pining for years before that, but maybe marriage isn’t something that Oikawa wants, maybe Oikawa isn’t ready for that— 

But he says, anyway, “Yeah. I’m serious. It’s—we could. Right now. We’re in Las Vegas for the week. Plenty of people—” 

“Shit, Hajime,” Oikawa whispers. He’s looking at Iwaizumi with wonder in his eyes, like he’s a miracle or a prayer come true or something that’s both. “Yeah, fuck, yes, let’s do it—let’s, like, right now, let’s—Hajime.” 

“We don’t have rings,” Iwaizumi stutters out, “but we can stop somewhere and—” 

Oikawa shakes his head and the tears are falling now for real, slipping down his cheeks and past his chin. His hands scramble around the car seats until he finds what he’s looking for stuffed in the cupholder: the paper wrapper for the straw they had gotten with their milkshakes some miles back. 

“Here, here,” he says, laughing, bright and joyful and that stupid song is still playing and it’s suddenly so warm in the car and Iwaizumi thinks his heart is going to burst out of his body and grow wings. 

Yes—this is what he wants for the rest of his life. Drives to shitty motels in expensive cities for anniversaries and cheap milkshakes along the way and singing the wrong words to bad music and paper straw wrapper rings. 

Oikawa grabs for Iwaizumi’s hand and Iwaizumi splays out his fingers for Oikawa to wrap the paper straw wrapper around his left ring finger, once, twice, then tucking in the end to the loop. He’s crying and laughing and still holding Iwaizumi’s hand and Iwaizumi feels golden. 

“I’ll get you a real ring when we go into the city tomorrow,” Iwaizumi promises. 

“Three months' paycheck,” Oikawa says, laughing. 

Iwaizumi grins at him. “You fucking wish.” 

Oikawa lets go of Iwaizumi’s hand to cup his cheeks in both of his own hands and pull him into a kiss. It’s tender and sweet and Oikawa tastes like chocolate milkshake and Iwaizumi probably tastes like vanilla and Iwaizumi is struck, all over again, with wonder that they’re in love with each other. How lucky is he? 

“I’ll marry you with just a paper ring,” Oikawa promises, pressing their foreheads together. His eyes flutter shut and Iwaizumi takes a deep, shaky breath. “I’ll even elope with you in one of those cheap chapels run by Elvis impersonators.” 

Iwaizumi laughs. “I love you so fucking much.” 

“I love you too, Iwa.” Oikawa exhales and Iwaizumi can feel his hot breath on his own lips. He wants to drink Oikawa in, wants to hold him forever, wants to be with him forever. “Gonna spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“That’s a long time.” 

“Yeah,” Oikawa whispers. He’s grinning. “Aren’t I lucky?” 

[rotschopf-thedrow]

7 snippets, 7 mutuals

Got tagged by the awesome @cr-noble-writes <3 Thank you!

No pressure tags: @lonesurvivorao3, @ficbrish, @valka-arialitan, @mallaidhsomo, @nyamadermont, @clericofshadows & @kalliesa, if you feel inclined ^^

I only have one WIP I'm currently working on - The loneliest Hour - and the story only has 6 chapters. Ah well. Something from a one-shot, then? Perhaps? ;)

So, one snippet from every chapter of TLH + an yet untitled one-shot.

1. The music turned to a slower, more sensual rhythm that belied the lyrics accompanying the song. They spoke of hurt, of loneliness, of devastation; of loss so profound it threatened to rip you apart on the very seams of your being; of not being alone in that moment, of being allowed to lean on someone. Kaidan put up no resistance when Coats pulled him closer, encouraging him to accept it. It would take Kaidan a long time to come to terms with losing Shepard, to accept that he himself was still alive when so many good people had gone down with the Normandy.

2. He took a sharp breath when he felt Coats’ fingers sliding under his uniform shirt, unto his bare, sweat-damp skin on the small of his back.

“So, do I get to call you Daryl?” Kaidan whispered against Coats’ ear, revelling in the shiver that travelled through Coats’ body.

“You sure as hell get to call me Daryl,” Coats replied just as huskily, and Kaidan had to suppress a moan when Coats’ lips travelled along his hairline. Fuck.

3. He knew he would if he were interested in someone. “You know, you have an awful tendency to show up at the most convenient opportunities, Daryl,” he finally said, placing the glass back on the table and making sure his fingers brushed against Coats’.

A glint lit up Coats’ eyes, and he smirked. “Do I now.”

“Yes.” Kaidan narrowed his eyes, inclining his head slightly. “And you’re a shameless flirt, who neither calls nor writes.”

Coats snorted. “Same goes for you, Kaidan.”

“True. What’s your reason you never got in touch with me?”

Coats took a deep breath and stole Kaidan’s shot of whiskey, sniffing it before he took a careful taste. “I didn’t think you wanted that kind of attention from someone like me.” Coats’ words hit Kaidan directly in the gut. “The longer I didn’t hear from you, the more I believed it. What’s your excuse?”

4. “No need, James. It’s just that someone needs to drill it into the head of this idiot from time to time that he’s worth it. Especially when his man is not around.”

“Wait, what?” Vega’s eyes jumped from Kaidan to Shepard and back. “I thought… you two are… you know. Most of the crew do.”

Kaidan groaned. He had been waiting for it to happen and, frankly, it amazed him that it had taken so long to come up. Back on the first Normandy, Ash had waited a full two days to ask him if he was dating Shepard.

“We’re not together, James,” Shepard finally said after a moment of awkward silence.

“Why not?”

“Because I won’t fuck up the best friendship I’ve ever had for a lay I wouldn’t enjoy anyways,” Shepard replied. “But that is beside the point.” He sighed. “I appreciate the sentiment, Kaidan. I really do, but it had to be me. Leviathan only let me go because it was me, because of who I am. It would’ve killed you, and that is something I wouldn’t have been able to bear.”

5. He would probably never get used to Shepard just turning himself into a weapon, but it was still a sight to behold. “So what? I’m not allowed to kiss my man goodbye?” he asked, emptying a clip into a couple of marauders.

He hated those things. They were somehow capable of bolstering the armour of close-by husks and cannibals, turning a skirmish into a fully-fledged battle in no time if they weren’t taken out as fast as possible.

“Maybe the James-human does not understand those things since he has no mate,” Javik commented, and Kaidan was almost certain that this was a smirk he could hear in Javik’s usually solemn voice.

“The James-human does understand it very much,” Vega retorted, stomping on the neck of a downed marauder with more force than necessary. “The James-human just chooses his mates as carefully.”

6. “I joined because of Shepard, Cool Aid down there,” he continued and gestured towards a huge marine at the end of the line, “as well. Martens was in Coats’ company before they arrived at the FOB, and you, sir, saved my sorry ass from a banshee. We owe you, and with your permission, we’d like to join your efforts in finding Shepard, and Major Coats as well.”

For a fleeting moment, Kaidan didn’t know what to say. They knew. They knew about him and Coats and had just made it their objective to help him find his man and his best friend. This was loyalty no amount of pay could buy. This was loyalty forged on the battlefield, and Kaidan was thankful for it.

He nodded. “Permission granted, marines. Thank you.” “Hooyah!”

And now for the snippet of a yet untitled one-shot that is set beofre The Loneliest Hour:

7.If there was one trait Daryl Coats attributed to himself, it would be “stealth”. He had been stationed far behind enemy lines, had stood knee-deep in batarian corpses and still made the enemy believe their people had died in a freak accident. One well-placed shot from his sniper rifle exploding one fuel tank had put an end to the uprising on Mavigon, effectively saving todays Admiral Mikhailovich’s arse from getting busted.

Stealth was his business if he wanted to and, thus, it didn’t come as a surprise to him that no one seemed to notice him slipping into Court Room 3. No one had bothered to inform him of the proceedings though his sister had died in the Battle of the Citadel. There were a lot of people missing from the court room: All the families and friends of the 2,400 soldiers and crew who had died defending a Council they had only heard of in tall tales. The least he could do to honour their sacrifice was to be here and look their murderers in the eye.

[sharpestasp]

Devil's Night Watch: The Crow (1994)

Thank you to @eerian-sadow and @ilyena-sylph for watching with me, even if it was just by discord for the incomparable eerian-sadow!

++

Graeme Revell knocked it out of the park for the OST Ilyena_Sylph: 💯 eeriansadow: YES

I love the kid that played Sarah. She just… she's perfect Ilyena_Sylph: i love Sarah so much

I am VERY glad Eric's introduction as the Crow is SO extensive and long. I know some complain that it is slow in relation to the rest, but… it works so well. Then again, comic book feel of it is perfection to me. eeriansadow: I agree Ilyena_Sylph: i can't imagine it being even a frame shorter. it's just. it's perfect. eeriansadow: — It IS. It's exactly what he needed. And it's an indrawn breath before the madness hits Yeah. And the transition, once the memories play out, into the rock music from the eerie haunting music? +chef kiss+ eeriansadow: So good, yes I just… you feel ALL OF HIS LOVE and his PAIN eeriansadow: nodnod

Still amused that my two roles for Tin-Tin's actors are THIS and Hackers -- where he was a bit Flaming

I love that both The Cure and Nine Inch Nails limited how often they would play their songs from this movie, despite both being frequently requested.

That is not murder strut. That is VENGEANCE WALKING

Ilyena_Sylph: i adore that they put the lyrics in the proper closed captions.

Ilyena_Sylph: i have such a love-hate with the fucking pawnshop owner and Tin-Tin and how much they despise each other. Ilyena_Sylph: like, it's just enjoyable in a truly bizarre way. Ilyena_Sylph: and gods, his sheer physical power.

I love the fight with Tin-Tin for showing how he is learning his abilities. I totally think "it's all in the reflexes" when he catches the knife.

Top Dollar and his sister are CREEPY. And I love it. Ilyena_Sylph: they are and it's gloriously terrible. Michael Wincott is still so pretty here.

Brandon Lee wasn't actually on the short list for the role. Lee himself convinced O'Barr. And then helped shape the final film creatively.

Torres is such a DICK.

Super strength, nigh-invulnerability, speed, animal senses, post-cognition…

Ilyena_Sylph: "jolly pirate nicknames!" "Is that gasoline I smell?" Creator cameo! (looter taking the TV)

Was it just me, or was there some Looks going on between Myca and T-Bird? Ilyena_Sylph: such a delightful little meeting there. Ilyena_Sylph: there were some interesting looks, for sure.

OH ERIC Touching her was SO HARD for his mind. Ilyena_Sylph: and doing anything good.

For those that never looked it up, the lady cop is Annabella. Tony Todd's character is Grange. Neither is named in the movie.

"Stop me if you've heard this one before…" I actually had not heard that joke before this movie, and I love it. I am sad they had to abbreviate the Fun Boy scene. But it works the way they handled it. We didn't actually NEED to see Eric interrogate him, though it served to show for every thing he did that wasn't directly part of the vengeance, it weakened him. (If you don't know, Fun Boy recovers enough before Eric is done to hurt him because of Eric healing Darla's addiction.)

I LOVE Albrecht. "You still have your hat on." Ilyena_Sylph: ACAB, but he tries not to be. Ilyena_Sylph: "Boo." He's what I used to believe cops were supposed to be. People who really wanted to make the world better. A fairy tale, in other words. OH ERIC. Ilyena_Sylph: "nothing is trivial." I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC. "I thought I'd use your front door."

Now, I've never verified, but the sword Top Dollar uses here is the same blade from The Three Musketeers. I should get a copy of that to verify… Oh Gideon you dug your grave, insulting Myca. Ilyena_Sylph: "for fuck's sake, die, willya?!"

Actual Vinyl. But then, Detroit. Makes sense there would have still been vinyl presses running for the indie scene up there. eeriansadow: Yep

"Drive." Hello Henry Rollins. In the Yugo. Ilyena_Sylph: +giggle+ Coffee in the lap of an ACAB. Ilyena_Sylph: hot coffee to the crotch. Ilyena_Sylph: say what you will about Skank, he's loyal as fuck. crazy little bastard. Yes, he very much is. I love that T-Bird is actually the one that has to endure TERROR before his death. Fun Boy was too high to be really terrified, Tin-Tin didn't last long enough… Skank, yeah, he winds up having to watch the melee, but he ain't all there enough to really feel what T-Bird just did.

Ilyena_Sylph: Grange's 'what the fuuuuuuck' face perched at the edge of the opened grave. INDEED!

Ilyena_Sylph: oh, Darla. Yeah. Side note - Darla is a good character in the TV show.

Ilyena_Sylph: god i hate Torres. Yes, we do. Ilyena_Sylph: racist prick

The story BEHIND the reunion between Sarah and Eric HURTS. Ilyena_Sylph: ?? She filmed this after Brandon's death. Ilyena_Sylph: oH GODS YES "You're not dead, are you" to the CAT Ilyena_Sylph: WELL?! it's a reasonable question! Ilyena_Sylph: given her last 24 hours! And I always though Gabriel was touched by the supernatural because of the events.

The Skank scene with Grange and Top Dollar… Skank's actor played it well.

Sarah and Albrecht coming clean about Eric is so touching. Ilyena_Sylph: 'he can't be my friend because… because i'm alive.'

Thrill Kill Cult's song is so PERFECT for the coming scene. Jeff Imada, legendary stuntman and stunt coordinator. "Devil's night greeting cards." I love how Brandon MOVES. And the kill floor is live. Ilyena_Sylph: YES the change from the techno metal to the eerie music, the almost quiet around the bullets… Ilyena_Sylph: when did you become a shootist, Eric? (talking about Brandon's other roles) - Showdown in Little Tokyo? Or Rapid Fire

What was with the 90s and Helicopter chases over skylines? "So many cops, you'd think they were giving away donuts." Also, ALL the blood on Albrecht's car seat was a really good sign of his power waning. eeriansadow: It was, yes. Good visual storytelling

Sarah sleeping at the graves is just so her. He CAN'T tell her goodbye, because you don't get that chance before you die and can't take it after. And that is a promise she kept, about not taking off the ring, if I remember the second movie right. eeriansadow: I haven't watched the second in a LONG time but I believe you're right I think it gets taken off of her at one point? But. Just like Top Dollar just did to her. eeriansadow: Yeah

Metatextually (as Top Dollar will monologue in a few minutes), Eric's job WASN'T done. But oh he's waning on power. Ilyena_Sylph: but he thought it was Ilyena_Sylph: he didn't know. Yeah.

Albrecht to the RESCUE! Grange going down to Albrecht, when he was the enforcer for Top Dollar, the man behind most of Albrecht's cases, felt good. Ilyena_Sylph: yep And Myca, the mystic, dies at the actual crow's actions. Weather-vane versus sword…. Top Dollar is one of the best amoral villains in cinema. Ilyena_Sylph: and stupid enough to not be able to not gloat. Ilyena_Sylph: and make himself a justified target again. Well, Lawful Evil. He has rules, they're just… fucked up.

"I've been meaning to come to church anyway." And Albrecht pins it all on Top Dollar. Gotta love that.

MY HEART ALWAYS THUMPS SO HARD AT SHELLY COMING FOR ERIC. "For Brandon and Eliza" - yep, there's the tears now. eeriansadow: Yes. I always cry at the dedication

And new to me trivia - Eliza, his fiancée, was his assistant on the movie.

[spaceguylewis]

Day two of Horizon Base Jams, the single artist playlist!

I chose the Killers — again, very predictable — because there's just something about their discography that hits that perfect desert scrubland vibe that comprises so much of the Horizon landscape.

As for the theme of the playlist, I was very very self indulgent again and picked a song from each of their albums (excluding Pressure Machine) that has that good old Avad/Aloy energy. Explanations for the choices under the cut!

First up, All These Things That I've Done! I pictured this as a call-and-response kind of song between the two of them, particularly the bridge. Of course, there are a few lines here and there that I immediately pinned to one or the other; "Another head aches, another heart breaks // I'm so much older than I can take" for Avad and "I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand // And my affection, well it comes and goes" for Aloy.

Second, Bones! I feel like this one more for Aloy, trying to figure out her feelings and come to terms with the fact that it's okay for her to feel so strongly about something that's not her mission to save the world.

A Dustland Fairytale is more vibes than anything; "A change came in disguise of revelation, set his soul on fire" and "Oh, don't you know, the kingdom's under seige // and everybody needs you" really strike that H:ZD-era Avaloy for me though.

Sweet Talk in the context of this playlist is definitely an Avad song; it brings to mind the weight of his position and his dreams of freedom from it even though he knows he can't leave the throne behind anytime soon.

Deadlines and Commitments is the true heart and soul of the playlist. Sung from Avad's point of view, it's melancholy and soft, gently imploring (If you should ever tire // Or if you should require // A sudden, simple twist of fate) this warrior to care for herself as well as the world and letting her know that wherever he is (I'll catch you darling // I'll be waiting // I am on your side), there's a place for her there too if she wants it. (If you should fall upon hard times // If you should lose your way // There is a place here in this house // That you can stay). Honestly, all the lyrics are just perfect for them, it's really hard to pick which to highlight!

Life To Come is an emotional high point; it has the energy of an Aloy who's figured herself and how she feels out (I didn't see this comin', I admit it // But if you think I'll buckle, forget it) and is ready to see where those emotions lead her — and she's inviting Avad to come along with her. It'll be hard and they'll stumble along the way (I know it ain't a cake walk // Let go of the blame // Have a little faith in me, girl) because she's never done anything quite like this before, but with the two of them she's more than confident they can work it out together (I know sometimes you think that I regret it // But I don't remember stumblin' when I said it // I told you that I'd be the one // I was talkin 'bout the life to come).

My God is for that post-NEMESIS moment of relief and victory — they've triumphed over this impossible foe together, and while there will always be work to be done, here and now they can rejoice in the fact that all the hard work of bringing the tribes together has finally paid off. "Don't talk to me about forgiveness // My God, just look who's back in business // That weight we lugged around, it has been made light // I'm at the top of my lungs // 'Cause big love cannot be understated // Don't push, control is overrated // I know that if we stick together // My God, it's like the weight has been lifted."

... and that's all for tonight, folks! Thanks for reading all the way through, and stay tuned for tomorrow's playlist (most likely also posted very very late lmao)

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Smile (Mattress)

Sung by: Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson Original Artist(s): Lily Allen

Like how Hairography had a theme (distracted!!) Mattress also has one as well -- 'smile'. I think this episode, however, does a better job of integrating the theme into the story and not hitting you over the head with it. The thing about the whole 'smile' theme, though, is that it's the idea of smiling as a façade over the darker emotions going on.

The thing about this song, though, it's also a façade; albeit possibly unintentionally? On the outside, it's a nice, flirty Finchel duet. But have you guys ever actually listened to the lyrics? It's about reveling in your ex's misery. I'm totally going to try to make the case that this song really should have been a Quinn song...

Story Analysis

So - the whole point of this scene was Rachel trying to teach Finn how to smile better for the yearbook photo. And... you know what? It's kind of a cute scene on its own. Rachel is, somewhat, uncharacteristically happy during it (it feels very Lea-ish, or at least post-Season 4 Rachel) and yes that's part of the schtick, but I think the genuine flirtatiousness of the song kinda makes Finchel sweet. Finn is adorable in his awkwardness, and then he kind of loosens up and goes along with Rachel. It's honestly, kind of sweet, and I feel like showcases their actual chemistry for once. (As I'm of the mind that Finchel is going to feel so forced in the future.)

But the thing about the song is that it's sooooo not about just general happiness and flirtatiousness. This song is about being happy that your ex is a groveling, dribbling mess and really not giving a shit. And -- I just can't make it work for Finchel.

I suppose you can argue that Rachel can be overdramatic - and want to think herself being better than petty relationship drama. But even as Rachel will go on to do some truly batshit crazy things (does it get any worse than Sunshine and the crackhouse?) she doesn't really pull this stuff with Finn. Nor, I'd argue, would she actually be happy to see him sad or upset.

The reason this song is misleading, really, is the fact that the song makes such an emphasis on the word 'smile'. So as Finn and Rachel are dancing around singing about smiling -- you kind of get wrapped up in the fun beat and the cheery melody and the word smile, and can easily miss the fact that this song is really vindictive.

As I was going over this one in preparation, though, it occurred to me that this would be a perfect song for Quinn.

When you first left me I was wanting more You were kissing that girl next door What you do that for? (What you do that for?)

Quinn being pissed off that she was dumped for Rachel -- um, yes, she was upset about that on multiple occasions.

I never been on my (own that way) Just sat by my(self all day)

Who defines herself by the relationships she has with men? Why that's Quinn.

(Oh!) I was so lost back then (Oh!) But with a little help from my friends (Oh!) I found a light in the tunnel at the end (Oh!) (Oh!) Now you're calling me up on the phone (Oh!) So you can have a little whine and a moan (Oh!) And it's only because you're feeling alone (Oh!)

The first time I really listened to the lyrics I was like - whoa, those some dirty lyrics. But, again, Quinn would think this way -- I can totally see her talking like this.

At worst, (I feel bad for awhile) (But then I just smile, I go ahead and smile)

This is the real deal sealer for me, though. Because Quinn is all about the façade - and all about trying to present as this perfect, in control person. She will just smile and cover up any emotions she has to save face. She'd also does not really care about your pain. She's too busy dealing with her own to have pity or sympathy for someone who has screwed her over.

Plus - I feel like this song should be sung with a real sense of sarcasm and edge to give it that ironic sound. This song plays it straight, but I think a Quinn version would have added those darker qualities.

Really -- they should have had Quinn scowling in the background of this number and it would have felt perfect.

Technical Thoughts

First thing to get out of the way is, yes, I know they changed the lyrics. The original lyrics say *fucking* the girl next door instead of kissing. It's a network tv show about high school students, so I'm not surprised - but also, that would have taken you completely out of the Finchel love fest they were going for.

So. Here's my thing - Rachel sounds fine on it. But the song itself was put through some kind of filter. Was it autotune? Was it some other kind of electronic something? I have no idea what exactly -- but the sound feels /off/ -- too mechanical and produced. And this is one of the few times on the show that I can feel that they're lip synching. Especially at the beginning. Glee usually does better at integrating pre-recorded song with the performance, but this isn't one of their better attempts. Ah well.

Meanwhile, Finn sounds alright. At times, it's a little too high - and it feels forced. But, in general, Cory Monteith sounds better overall than he has in previous numbers - and when he and Lea are singing together, I have no complaints. It's a catchy little tune, and the scene is very sweet.

vs. The Studio Version: There's a little more of an introduction and they include the second verse, but that's pretty much it. It's a solid song though.

vs. The Original Version: So. Glee's arrangement is more or less the same as the original song. Lily Allen's voice is a bit grittier and a little less produced (sorry Lea - you're still good on the Glee track.)

The thing though, wow, this video. It really showcases the duality of song -- being a happy, bubbly sound song, but the singer is out for blood and shows no mercy. There's a lot more going on than the music would outwardly suggest. (Secret Quinn Solo)

[picnokinesis]

Hi, half return song rec anon again- your response was soooo lovely, thank you :) one more song that's been shouting at me in relations to this fic since I started reading! All Comes Crashing - Metric (again, thank you so much for your wonderful work)

DUDE. Oh my days, I just listened - I love Metric anyway but I only know a couple of songs, and this one I didn't jknow this one but HHHHHHHHHH HELLO?? THE LYRICS??

Starting over won't be easy, broken, divided Split tomorrow from today Knowing what you know just makes it harder to think straight Starting over after it breaks Starting over when the story's got an astounding twist You better turn that page When push it comes to shove We do not fall out of love We double down, we do not fade

Like this is the FIRST VERSE and oh my days I feel like I got hit by - not to be too on the nose - a campervan because KSKSK oh my days. Those first two lines just make me think of her amnesia right?? Like her past and her present are divided, there's that disconnect between the person she was before the train crash and the person she was after....but then!! Also!! It's almost about the night of that revelation too, right? "Knowing what you know just makes it harder to think straight" - like that's just the Doctor in part 3, right? She didn't realise how much she was missing, but now she KNOWS....and it was a twist that came about because she turned that page in that notebook, and she doesn't remember Dhawan, she had NO IDEA who she was......but part of her knows him. She can't DENY IT, that shared past that she can't remember but it makes her who she is. It hasn't faded. If anything, they've both just doubled down on it, even though the Doctor doesn't realise it. It's defining, for both of them.

And then it all comes crashing down - it does make me think of a certain train crash, but also like.....the reality of the Doctor's amnesia, the truth about the past she's missing - it certainly does come crashing down on her at the end of part 1, doesn't it? Man. MAN.

Also this song goes OFF KSKSKSK SO YEAH. EXCELLENT REC THANK YOU <3

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

THE IDOL 1x03: Review

For me the best thing from this episode was the new (or unreleased) song from the Weeknd: “Take Me Back”. The lyrics are so powerful and so truthful to this episode. At least, Abel is good at something. So please, stick to the music and stop acting (even if it was a little be better this time because you were mostly wearing sunglasses). Did you notice that so far he doesn’t appear in the short behind the episode. 

Also, again, some shots were amazing, especially the one from the pool. 

I will not comment on the “sex scenes”, because honestly I couldn’t care less, and someone told me they are just not realistic at all (position, fonctionnement, ...). I will not look at the fitting rooms the same way. 

The hairbrush during Jocelyn and Chloé’s scene should have told us a clue about the revelation we’ve got at the end of the episode. But I don’t understand Chloé’s role in all of this. 

Honestly congratulations to Lily-Rose for playing in front someone so bad (as Abel). There is nothing left in his eyes and his glance have really something bovine in them. Il n’y a plus rien dans ses yeux. And his face is all bloated.

Even Tedros’ name is stupid. 

So, we just learned that Jocelyn’s label wants her to be portrayed as a “bad girl”, it’s not her wishes. Like they did to Britney Spears? 

Honestly, the cover album with cum on her face as a success? 

As all the cocaïne in LA will have inside it Fentanyl? 

Jocelyn smoking to mirror a French girl? 

Tedros’ family gives me more and more Manson’s cult vibes (who killed Sharon Tate). From the club to the house. 

Can someone explain to me who are Head (the guy with the tattoo) and Ramsey (The new girl with black hair)? It’s like they appear out of thin air. 

Finally, the girl from Vanity Fair is not present. 

But Nikki is replacing step by step Jocelyn by Dyanne. The music industry will keep chugging along with or without you and that they don’t care about your individual Voice or Vision as an artist what matters most at the end of the day is how they can turn a profit and it doesn’t matter who they use to do that.

At least in Euphoria, the make up was amazing. 

Every intervention of Leia is kind of dumb. 

The conversation between Izaak (which’s still gay) and Jocelyn raises the question of whether or not embracing pain can lead life changing art that is truly impactful? I must agree with it, because it’s bring something so powerful after it, that’s completely addictive. 

We just learned that Jocelyn is on her third album only and her last hit was “Daybreak” on her second album.

The diner scene was truly amazing! But question: who cooked? Knowing that Andrés, the chef has been fired. haha.  At least, this time Tedros was asking the good questions. He is a fucking good narcissistic parasite. He becomes in control of almost every aspect of Jocelyn’s life. 

Whether it’s the music industry or Tedros’ manipulation, it’s so so fucked up to use Jocelyn like this, knowing the state of her mind. 

Her team’s concern is hypocritical. They couldn’t save or help her from her mother, so how could they save her from the grip of Tedros. 

Finally, the real villain is the music industry that preys on those seeking fame and fortune, and they’ll pit women against each other in the process as long as you play by their rules you will get the career you want but it comes at the cost of your own voice as an artist, this further the undeniable parallels between Tedros’ cult and the music industry, both groups are attempting to exploit and profit off of the artist through any means necessary however they have vastly different approaches to doing so but what are these differences. Well the music industry and record label Executives believe that proven data tired clichés and previous methods of success can be repackaged and resold to the masses. They think the general public will listen to or watch anything that is put in front of them because of this they’re more likely to keep all the pieces that work and swap out old artists for new ones that are willing to do their bidding ultimately it is about business over the individual person. As on the other hand, Tedros represents the complete opposite. He encourages being as unique and individualistic as possible because your personal experiences shape your art in a distinct way. Tedros believes in taking risks rather than calculated bets he goes so far as to encourage Jocelyn to lean into publish the leaked intimate photo being used for her own personal gain rather than letting the world paint a picture of who she is without her input it could work or fail but at least she would have tried something new rather than stick with the old such as the music industry typically does although both groups are extremely exploitative and harmful to the artist the series showcases how both sides push Jocelyn into making a difficult decision exploit yourself or be exploited. 

Jocelyn inevitably chooses to exploit herself her pain and her trauma as this will allow her to be the artist she always dreamed of becoming but what is that trauma she has yet to tap into and why hasn’t she done so before you see the reason I found the opening sequence to be ironic and the concern of her team to be hypocritical is because of what we learn about Jocelyn’s mother and their involvement or lack thereof she was physically mentally and emotionally abusive toward Jocelyn and she controlled almost every aspect of her life we get hints of this unprocessed trauma in previous episodes when Jocelyn would spend a significant amount of time in front of a mirror brushing her hair it was with this hairbrush; being the perfect daughter and pop star the physical and emotional scars from that abuse were evident to her team but Tedros points out that no one stepped in to stop what was happening because they were all profiting off of Jocelyn at the time. Tedros sees this as an opening to fully indoctrinate Jocelyn into his cult by convincing her to embrace her pain in order to create music that is authentic and comes from somewhere deep within her earlier in the episode. 

The next day Jocelyn thanks Tedros for taking care of her symbolizing her falling back into the cycle of abuse she was familiar with in the past will result in Justin becoming crazy relatively unstuck 

Overall it was a tough episode to stomach as there were many uncomfortable and provocative questions being raised about Jocelyn’s experience in the industry to me it’s clear that the series is highlighting the similarities amongst the music industry, Tedros’ cult and Jocelyn’s family as they all claim to be looking out for her best interests but that they all are only comfortable with her exploitation as long as they profit from it or have something to gain even Leia who is positioned as someone seemingly innocent and genuinely worried about Jocelyn’s well-being is only okay with exploitation if she is under her management team’s guidance we have to remember that while she’s Jocelyn’s best friend she is also her employee whose livelihood is dependent on Jocelyn’s success as a pop idol.

Honestly, I don’t think that the show is glamorizing these difficult topics just for the sake of being shocking it is trying to make a point about how Fame and the spotlight dehumanized the person behind the music and ultimately turns them into a profit generating machine that commodify is their own trauma.

Dream is never easy and oftentimes it is filled with wolves in sheep’s clothing. 

[newmusickarl]

5-9’s Album of the Month Podcast – Episode 3 Out Now, Episode 4 Coming Soon!

Just a reminder that the latest episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month Podcast is now available, reviewing some of the best albums we heard in March. As ever I take a seat alongside 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt and Check This Out’s Kiley Larsen to review five high profile album releases from the past month in music, and ultimately name one as our Album of the Month at the end of the discussion. With some divided opinions between us, which one reigned supreme?

Then for our April review episode dropping in early May, the five albums we will be discussing are:

Language by Circles Around The Sun

Fuse by Everything But The Girl

72 Seasons by Metallica

First Two Pages of Frankenstein by The National

Garden Party by Rose City Band (Poll winner!)

If you want to listen to the latest episode simply click the link below, but also be sure to follow 5-9 Blog on Instagram and Twitter for more news and polls relating to the podcast, along with other great content like film reviews, sports articles and more.

Listen to the March 2023 episode here

Album & EP Recommendations

A Kiss For The Whole World by Enter Shikari

I feel like I say this every time Enter Shikari bring out a new record, but they really are one of a kind. When they first released their incredible debut Take To The Skies back in 2007, the euphoric collision of trance and metal was unlike anything I had ever heard. As a teenager at the time that record was everything and whilst many (including shamefully myself initially) wrote them off as surely being a flash in the pan, the St Albans quartet have just gone from strength to strength.

Across six brilliant albums, their rave/metal fusion has since evolved to include more elements of grime, pop and punk, whilst their lyrical messages both social and political have also grown in scope alongside their sonic ambitions. Their musical journey has been nothing short of a triumph and album number seven feels like them taking stock of just how far they’ve come.

When we last heard from the Shikari boys, it was at the height of lockdown when they were found revelling in the abyss on their most ambitious outing to date - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. Now with A Kiss For The Whole World, it’s like the band have re-emerged from those depths, this time filled with hope, positivity and gratitude. There’s a sense of optimism in the songs here, with the band also referencing their previous work multiple times (“You’re still standing like a statue” on the title track, “Wish I was back at the Dreamer’s Hotel” on Jailbreak and “I went to live outside to find myself” on Giant Pacific Octopus to name just a few easter eggs).

It presents an interesting dynamic at the heart of the record, almost like the band know how dire the world is right now, but on the flip side they are just so grateful for their fans and the career that they’ve been able to have until now. With these contrasting emotions driving forward the writing, it all makes for a thrilling 30-minute listen that’s impactful yet joyous, and also plays out like a love letter to their fans.

The kitchen sink of ideas thrown at Nothing Is True… has also been refined a bit more this time too, with this album seamlessly flowing from one track to the next. As ever with Shikari, the singles for the record sound better in the context of the whole, as electronically-charged thumper (Pls) Set Me On Fire and motivational anthem It Hurts both hit much harder now. Leap Into the Lightning is then a dubstep-induced message of encouragement to make bold choices, whilst Dead Wood is a string-tinged adaptation of Pinocchio, with Shikari seemingly getting in on the Hollywood trend of revisiting that story but of course doing it in their own unique way.

If Dead Wood is their Pinocchio then Jailbreak is their Papillion, as the band repeat their mantra “I hope I keep hope intact” during the euphoric outro. It’s already one of my favourite Shikari songs and it leads seamlessly into Prodigy-inspired banger Bloodshot. As great as the main part of that song is, the Coda for the track that follows may be one of the most beautiful arrangements the band have ever put to record – an utterly stunning orchestral composition that successfully brings out all the goosebumps. It all then gets brought to a rousing climax with the poignant closing two-parter Giant Pacific Octopus, where frontman Rou Reynolds questions “I don’t know you anymore - or maybe I never did?”

When I get asked what Enter Shikari’s best album is or am asked for suggestions on where someone should start with their catalogue, I always struggle to find an answer. The reality is each new album is always as good as the last one, with the band yet to deliver a misfire across their 15+ years doing this - even when their batshit crazy, genre-bending sound is almost tailor made to serve up a misstep or two. With each new release and each new triumph my respect and admiration for the band only grows stronger and it seems with A Kiss For The Whole World, the feeling is mutual. One of Britain’s most underrated bands and I really hope they finally get their first number one album later today – fingers crossed!

Listen here

MTV Unplugged (Live) by Twenty One Pilots

Whilst not for everyone, I’ll be the first to admit I love these MTV Unplugged sessions. From Nirvana serving up an all-time classic live album with theirs back in the mid-90s, to incredible recent releases from some of my own favourites like Placebo and Tash Sultana, these sessions have given us some great music over the years. So when I saw that mainstream superstars Twenty One Pilots had released their own MTV Unplugged live album, I was naturally intrigued as to what they might do with the concept.

As opposed to simply taking the easy route and busting out a few acoustic versions for fans, the duo of Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun instead use the Unplugged concept to present their live show in an interesting new format. Rather than just using a pre-recorded track as they would normally, the pair use hands-free looping and sampling to build their songs out in front of the crowd in real time – even using the audience themselves at points as their instruments. Not only that, but the arrangements of their biggest hits have been reworked, some mashed up together whilst others simply remixed into a new alternate version.

Altogether it makes for a fascinating 30-minute listen, with the duo using the audience members as their drum kit on a cool mashup of Ride / Nico And The Niners, whilst also elsewhere serving up awesome live versions of Shy Away and Stressed Out. However, the pair save the best moment for last, combining two of their best songs in Car Radio and Heathens into a spectacular grand finale.

Listen here

Exotico by Temples

If you are looking for a summer indie rock record bursting with catchy melodies, glistening guitar solos and trippy instrumentals, then look no further. English Psych-rockers Temples recently returned with their dazzling new album, Exotico, which is just a whole heap of fun.

Drawing shades to the likes of Tame Impala, MGMT and Life Is Yours-era Foals but with that vintage 70s psychedelic sound, this is Temples at their bold, cinematic best. Single Gamma Rays already feels like it could be one of the songs of the summer, whilst the title track plays out like the soundtrack to a futuristic Western. The first third of the record really is all killer and no filler, with early favourite Oval Stones boasting the catchiest orient-inspired groove.

Of course, at 16 tracks and pretty much an hour in length, the less patient few may find listening to Exotico front to back in one sitting a bit of a challenge, especially within the current trend of shorter 30–40-minute albums. However, Temples do reward those who stay the course, with the hypnotic synths of Giallo, the mesmerising tropical guitars of Inner Space and the paranormal sonic vortex that is penultimate track Afterlife, just some of the delights in the latter half of the record.

I’m already finding a lot to enjoy in this new Temples record, and I can’t wait to return to it on those hazy summer days that are (hopefully UK weather!) coming up.

Listen here

Forever Means EP by Angel Olsen

And on the shortplay front, American singer-songwriter Angel Olsen recently returned with a spellbinding new four track, 15-minute listen. Opener Nothing’s Free is my personal highlight, a haunting ballad centred around Olsen’s soft vocals with a light jazz-blues inspired arrangement. Once those horns arrive towards the back-end, you’re sure to be swept away.

The title track also leaves a big impression, featuring a simple guitar backing and Olsen’s aching falsetto vocals with some slight shades to the late, great Jeff Buckley. The folksy Time Bandits is equally gorgeous, before Holding On offers up the fist-pump-the-air, triumphantly defiant finale, full of big rock guitars as Olsen heartbreakingly sings “Couldn’t see the light you brought to me, now you’re gone and I can see.” An excellent EP that continues Olsen’s typically fantastic recent output.

Listen here

Garden Party by Rose City Band

“There’s no better way to describe Rose City Band, and this new record especially, as the tightest, most enjoyable first set the Grateful Dead would perform in the late-70s - one in which we’re treated to the best freeform guitar interplay that’s still reigned in before the sun sets on a second set full of surprises. “Porch Boogie” invites the dirt churners to groove as Paul Hasenburg’s keys work (phenomenal throughout the album) fills the gaps of Johnson’s psychedelic solos.

As much as Earth Trip fit the times in which it was crafted, Garden Party returns to the carefree picnic days of Summerlong and builds upon that feeling for their best record. Letting the Rose City Band catalog breathe on the road has opened the door to the complete capabilities of Johnson’s vision for the project, and his supporting cast is absolutely locked in right now.”

Read Kiley Larsen’s full review here

Listen here

Also worth checking out: 72 Seasons by Metallica, Fuse by Everything But The Girl, Plus Ultra by Chappaqua Wrestling, Multitudes by Feist, Intellectual Property by Waterparks, Big Picture by Fenne Lily, Stay Teenage EP by Billy Tibbals

Tracks of the Week

Couldn’t Make It Up by Ben Howard

Two years since his last release Collections From The Whiteout, singer-songwriter Ben Howard has announced his new album Is It? will be released fairly imminently this coming June. With Ben you never really know what to expect from his albums other than they are usually a fascinating listen, but he’s given us a bit of insight to the album’s possible direction with this jangly summer number that will serve as the album’s opening track.

Listen here

A Child’s Question, August by PJ Harvey

Also announcing a new album this week is the legendary Polly Jean Harvey, whose tenth album will be coming this July and is titled I Inside the Old Year Dying. Interestingly it will also be her first independent release since 1992, having recently signed with Partisan Records. In her own words, “the album is about searching, looking – the intensity of first love, and seeking meaning.” The first taste is A Child’s Question, August, a typically stirring folk track led by ritual-like drumming and Polly’s choral voice.

Listen here

The Score by Grian Chatten

The Fontaines D.C. frontman also made a splash this week, releasing his debut solo single - The Score. There’s no official word on a full length yet, but this first taste of what Chatten’s solo material could deliver is mighty intriguing, a sunkissed and string-tinged acoustic number written on a lustful night in Madrid.

Listen here

Mermaids by Florence & The Machine

Last Friday, Florence quite unceremoniously reissued her acclaimed 2022 album Dance Fever, this time titled The Complete Edition and featuring a couple of reworked versions and a few new tracks. One of these new tracks is Mermaids and it is already one of my favourite Florence & The Machine tracks. Powered by rumbling horns, exquisitely written lyrics and an anthemic refrain of “Cheerful Oblivion”, it’s a phenomenal track that I can’t quite believe didn’t make the original album cut.

Listen here

This Is A Photograph II by Kevin Morby

One of my Top 20 Albums of 2022, Kevin Morby’s This Is A Photograph was an incredible project, autobiographical and reminiscent whilst also sonically invigorating. Now, the Texan singer-songwriter is releasing a new companion project to that record, titled More Photographs (A Continuum). The album will feature reworkings as well as completely new songs, with this first taste a sort of a mix of the two – a funky and cinematic sequel to the original album’s brilliant title track.

Listen here

Love Make A Fool (Orchestral Version) by James

Mancunian indie legends James have begun their much-anticipated new tour this week, where they will be joined by a full orchestra and gospel choir on all dates. Alongside the tour their new orchestrated record Be Opened By The Wonderful is due out in early June, celebrating the band’s 40th anniversary. Although it will predominantly feature reworked versions of their greatest hits, there is also this new gorgeous new track, Love Make A Fool. Wonderfully arranged with poignant lyrics, it serves as a welcome reminder as to just how James have managed to still endure after all this time.

Listen here

Double Fantasy by The Weeknd featuring Future

It won’t be long now until The Weeknd’s HBO show The Idol hits our screens, due to premiere this June. Naturally I’m expecting the show to have a killer soundtrack, and this atmospheric, neon-soaked collaboration with Future is a good indicator that my expectations are correct.

Listen here

Mother by George FitzGerald & SYML

Hot off the back of his brilliant 2022 album Stellar Drifting, electronic musician George FitGerald has announced a new four track EP titled Not As I will be arriving this June. Mother is the first single from the project, a beautifully ambient groove featuring American musician SYML on vocal duties.

Listen here

High Life by Bloc Party

It has become tradition for indie legends Bloc Party to release a standalone single following the release of an album, with gems like Two More Years, Flux and One More Chance gifted to fans over the years. Whilst High Life isn’t quite to that standard, it’s a great upbeat summer tune with a danceable central guitar riff and a catchy chorus.

Listen here

Children by Opus Kink

A band who released my EP of the Year in 2022 with ‘Til The Stream Runs Dry, ska-punk outfit Opus Kink have a new EP on the way in May titled My Eyes Brother! Children is one of three tracks to have been released from the project so far and is my current favourite, a wonderfully maddening sensual barrage of snarling vocals and cacophonous trumpets.

Listen here

The Analyst by pecq

And finally this week, electro indie duo pecq have recently released their latest single from their forthcoming EP, Amnesia’s Ritual, which is due out in early May. Offering unique, entirely self-produced soundscapes, pecq blend ambient electronics, ethereal vocals and field recordings into tracks that are quite special. The Analyst is a perfect example of this, and a good way of introducing you to their dreamy sound.

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Ribs by Rachel Chinouriri, Don’t Let Me Down by Gus Dapperton & BENEE, Rescued by Foo Fighters,The Canary Trainer by Smashing Pumpkins, Jealousy by The Xcerts, Three Drums by Four Tet, Time (is a healer) by Keir, Life Is Yours (Dan Carey Dub) by Foals

REMINDER: If you use Apple Music, you can also keep up-to-date with all my favourite 2023 tracks through my Best of 2023 playlist. Constantly updated throughout the year with songs I enjoy, it is then finalised into a Top 100 Songs of the Year in December.

Add the playlist to your library here

[whitewolfcraft]

I’ve been tagged by @powerangersemo to list my favourite song from each album by an artist/band. I went with Muse cause I get to see them live this year! This is harder than I thought. I also went from newest to oldest album even though I listed it the other way around here.

Showbiz - Unintended Okay I barely listen to this album so this was a difficult one to pick. I think I like Unintended the most.

Origin of Symmetry - Space Dementia Space innit. Also more classical music influence. Classical music is very good!

Absolution - Time is Running Out I’m not that familiar with this album, but I can sing this one along so good enough for me.

Black Holes and Revelations - Supermassive Black Hole Look. Knights of Cydonia is a really good song. But some days I just have to put on Supermassive Black Hole and sing along as loud and as bad as I can cause I sure can’t hit those high notes.

The Resistance - Uprising This is maybe the most unoriginal choice but this is the first Muse song I heard and why I started listening to them so you know, gotta pick this one. I Belong to You (+Mon Coeur S’Ouvre a Ta Voix) is also very good. Also United States of Eurasia (+Collateral Damage) for the classical music influence and the ending.

The 2nd Law - The 2nd Law: Unsustainable This album has a lot of songs I really like, but I’m a bit of a sucker for their slightly weirder songs. Madness and Survival are both very good, but if I have to make a pick, it’s this one.

Drones - Drones I thought long and hard about this one but I have to go with Drones. The lyrics and the way their voices overlap and they way it sounds like a prayer in church and the way the album ends with this song.

Simulation Theory - Pressure This already was a really good song and then they did the version with the UCLA Bruin Marching Band and I was sold.

Will of the People - Ghosts (How Can I Move On) A gorgeous piano piece that makes me sad, what more can I say

I’ll tag @meova101 @toyotagazoo @jasonkelce @soyouwinagain @outofbodyinjury known lovers of music (if you wanna do this of course!)

[septembersghost]

the thing you said about taylor and pete using similar imagery is so interesting to me because the moment i listened to so much for stardust (the song) and heard lines like “i need the sound of crowds or i can’t fall asleep at night” and specially “like a sledgehammer to a disco ball crushing all my low low lows” i instantly was reminded of mirrorball

pete is a quintessential mirrorball and those lines really do express it - he's been revisiting that theme for so long, but laid it bare there, and it's also mastermind (to make them love me and make it seem effortless), which appears in flu game too: all this effort to make it look effortless. (it's also applause by lady gaga, which is on taylor's pre-show playlist. i live for the applause...) the way so much (for) stardust deals with fame, survival, and doing your damndest to cling onto that life and carve out love and happiness in it despite everything, still recognizing that the attention and bright lights bring hurt, but you can't stay away from them either. sledgehammer to a disco ball, hammer to the statue of david, when i break it's in a million pieces. the themes with mental health (which of course are consistently there in pete's writing and part of what makes that raw and personal and expressive), and not being defined by that, but rather recognizing what it is, and how to keep going, it's all so midnights-coded. screw-top wine and internal labyrinths and turning down the sunshine to chase the pain, and reveling in creation of the art, and living anyway. you're on your own, kid/i am my own muse. you should find another guiding light, but i shine so bright/so much for stardust, we thought we had it all. it's very much that vulnerability of: i need your love and attention, i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me.

so MUCH of pete's writing is: i'm still a believer, but i don't know why, i've never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try, at its core. i want to be known for my hits, not just my misses. i'd promise you anything for another shot at life. i don't even have my own attention, you say: "please don't ever change," but you don't like me the way i am. i will never ask you for anything, except to dream sweet of me. also! former heroes who quit too late -> all of my heroes die all alone. would you read my eulogy? -> is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me? me, i'm still a sunbeam -> i'm the free-flowing wind in our sails. i could go on and on here! and of course my favorite: you are what you love, not who loves you -> i just think that you are what you love. they share some divine lyrical thread, it's probably why i love them both the way i do. car crash hearts.

they're also often saying, this is what i am, this is who i am, but it's not all i am, and then compassion and power spring forth from that.

[fumbles-mcstupid]

I found this in my drafts, written YEARS ago, that I’d been intending to post alongside that billyalan post that I ALSO had in drafts but never got around to and I’m so glad I wrote this down because I’d forgotten a lot of it and it’s nice to refresh my memory so I’m posting it now

not to get uh,, all gushy but, anyway-- that post I just reblogged to my sideblog? iconic and formative? still doesn’t quite cover it. It’s like looking back at an old familiar signpost that pointed me in a direction I’m glad I went. I remember first listening to the song Blue Driver (at that point it was pretty much less than two months after getting into billyalan, two MONTHS) and that night staying up and hitting replay a good dozen times or more, reveling in ship feels, and then clicking a recommendation on the youtube sidebar from the same artist and same album, the song Roll On Babe. It was slower, but also really good, and they were thereafter linked irrevocably in my mind, one following the next, and not through lyrics but by pure aesthetic association. They were, and still are, essential billyalan for me, highlighting a mood about the ship that has carried on, that I’ve carried with me, for years since. Only a short time after hearing Blue Driver, I had a 2am impulse to learn it on guitar, found the simple chords online, and quietly played it, and once I was eventually better at it? it was the actual first song I could play while singing at the same time, fundamental to making me into a decent guitar player, really just a baby step in the long run because at its heart it’s a pretty simple song, mostly E to A to E to A and to a form of B and so on. And that’s partly why the two songs go so well together, because they consist of the same two base chords, E and A, and Roll On Babe in its basic form is just a repetitive strum that has the beat of a train chugging along, reminding me of empty spaces and trains and the miles they cross, of lonely places like the ones Alan and Billy spend their summers in, how they’d listen to songs like this one and lean into each other....

Anyway, those two were covers by Vetiver and I read up and found their earlier forms, the original of Blue Driver by Michael Hurley (who lent his help to Vetiver in their cover, fun fact!), and the principal cover of Roll On Babe by Ronnie Lane & Slim Chance (banjo! harmonica!), where Vetiver took their cue from. All four tracks? super enjoyable for me in their own different ways.

The point is, I GUESS, is that any damn time I’m bored and I pick up my guitar, on a random day whether I’ve been thinking about billyalan or not, lol, those two songs are some of the easiest things to strum out, maybe hum, maybe sing, and I’m instantly taken somewhere else, somewhere on a sunny highway, somewhere in a truck, imagining Billy and Alan singing along, arms hanging out the window, carefree and very much in love

[niuxita21]

No one asked for this but I’m still gonna word-vomit my feelings on the finale because if I don’t process them I’m gonna explode (don’t worry it’s not a rant or anything, I just have a lot of Thoughts).

OK so my main concern regarding this as the backbone of the season 3 storyline is that, for it to play out in a way that I will actually enjoy, the ONLY option is to have it be so that they eventually realize that they are enjoying their little charade a bit too much and find themselves wishing it were real and THAT is one of the big revelations/twists of the season. Otherwise, it would just feel too much like they’re cheapening the relationship, which is weird considering that this is a ship that THEY created, that has fans because THEY said "Here, ship this, and no, you are not delusional, it's real." And the thing is that, if they were a straight couple, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind that THAT is where they were headed, but I’ve been burned too many times by shows with f/f ships not to be a little apprehensive. I'm also not super thrilled with the whole "using the gay flag in vain," as Ana's lawyer put it, which is why the only way for me to be comfortable with this storyline is for them to think they are doing this purely as a means to an end only to realize they don't actually want it to be JUST a pretend situation anymore. So, as you can see, there are a lot of caveats in order for this storyline to be enjoyable for me, lol, there's so much at stake here I'm so stressed!!!!

And yet, weirdly, there’s also a part of me that’s glad they didn’t actually go there with them for real just yet? IDK it’s just... if they had, I would be really stressed out right now (what else is new lmao) fearing that the execution of an actual relationship between Ana and Mariana could fall short of what it could be. But now, whatever they do, it’s gonna be fake anyway, so there’s less pressure! LOL. And also, yeah, I’m one of those crazies who actually LIKE a good, drawn-out slow burn and sometimes find it more compelling than the actual relationship bits of a ship, so I don’t mind waiting a bit longer for the payoff (PROVIDED that the payoff does actually come, that’s the thing. Hence my anxiety). And also like... The show is gonna give me FAKE DATING???? Only THE most god-tier trope that is impossible to find in an f/f context??? How did I get so lucky???? So yeah, in spite of myself, there is a lot to be excited about for next season. And, as someone somewhere pointed out, it was Juan Carlos and Pablo the ones who wanted to use the “weird situation between Ana and Mariana” against them in an explicitly homophobic manner, so if Ana and Mariana want to fight back against such a ridiculous ploy to fight them for their kids, I’d say they’re entitled.

And there are a few tidbits that I did find reassuring: 1) Once again, THE FUCKING SONG that played over the kiss/announcement I mean??? All about how “you can try to fight it but you’ll eventually realize I am the one for you” and “when [love I guess?] hits you, it happens even if you try to get away” and basically being a Mexican version of Shania Twain’s “I’m Gonna Getcha Good” and I AM GOING INSANE like you wouldn’t score a pretend kissing scene that way if you didn’t want the audience’s takeaway to be that there’s something more than just pretend there, right? RIGHT??? 2) The fact that Ludwika and Paulina are posting Ana/Mariana manips and pictures of the infamous necklaces with romantic lyrics, etc., which speaks to there being a more serious undercurrent to this situation than just “LOL fake gay dating to stick it to our baby daddies who are being insufferable about custody battles.”

And while I’m overanalyzing, I’m very intrigued by Mariana’s uneasiness after Ana asks if she’s ready for the annoucement and before Mariana confirms that she is. I mean it can probably be explained away most obviously by Mariana not wanting her newfound “arrangement” with Ana to mess up her budding relationship with Ferrán (which is a valid point). But IDK I kinda want to think that there’s something deeper there that has more to do with Mariana being worried about all this bringing back all her feelings for Ana that she thought she was over, especially considering that, as far as she knows, Ana doesn’t feel the same way. So, in Mariana’s head, it would be like a Faking It-type situation where she’s having to fake a relationship with someone to whom the charade is just a means to an end, whereas for Mariana the feelings are very much real. This would be a much more interesting path to take so I hope there’s some of that in the subtext of Mariana’s actions next season.

So, all in all, this season played out pretty much exactly how I expected/hoped it would. I fully expected the show to take its time to bring Ana and Mariana back together just in a friendly capacity because that’s Storytelling 101, and I didn’t expect anything romantic to happen between them until at least the penultimate episode (that’s Telenovela 101). What I failed to foresee, lol, was that ending and the fact that the show wouldn’t go there with them just yet. I actually reasonably expected them to get them together for real in the season finale (I spoiled myself with a YT fanvid thumbnail of the kiss, so I thought it was for real and, by the time I’d watched the second-to-last episode, I figured it would be the final scene) and then season 3 would finally deal with them trying to navigate a relationship. Silly me! But by now, after a LOT of sleeping on it, I actually think this is a way better option?? Lots more potential for fun hijinks, which is the show’s trademark, plus maybe some romantic/UST moments between them as they’re trying to keep up the charade. I don’t actually mind that they won’t be in a relationship for real yet because this whole setup is enough for me (once again, PROVIDED that there’s real subtext there). Is it December (?) yet????