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un-beel-lievable · 4 years

Note

I saw you were taking requests! Could I request mammon confessing and some emotional intimate nsfw if you want to do that?? Thatd be cool :)) thank you

So I kinda took this and ran with it. I love this concept of Mammon being horny but sweet at the same time. It kinda went from a scenario ask to a fanfic which is why this took so long! Plus I’m working on a whole bunch of stories at once and also I’m a perfectionist by nature and thus I’m usually never 100% confident in my work and I spend so much time doing rewrites. I apologize for the delay, I just wanted it to be perfect. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!

Fuck.

Mammon glanced up at the clock. He began to grow more and more restless in his seat. He fidgeted with his pen in his sweaty palms as his last class of the day drew nearer and nearer to an end.

‘Only 8 minutes left,’ he thought to himself. ‘8 more agonizing minutes. You can do this Mammon. It’s just four minutes two times! It’s just two minutes four times!’

Of course this would be the one period he doesn’t have with you. And clearly you knew that. But you said what you said anyway, letting him stew in his overactive thoughts until the final bell at the end of the day.

“Mammon...hypothetically speaking, what would you think if I told you I had a crush on you? And like, I wanted to start dating you...hypothetically? Cause I mean like, if you think about it that doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea. We have a lot of fun together and get along really well. If you and I were dating I- oh! That’s the bell! We can talk about it after school, okay?”

And that was it. You scampered off to class, leaving Mammon standing in the middle of the hallway, a sputtering mess in a sea of students shoving past him.

What was he supposed to make of all this? Was it really hypothetical after all or were you serious? You must have been if you asked what he thought about it. Did you ACTUALLY like him back?

It was no secret that Mammon was absolutely in love with you. He was so obvious. Saying he thought you were just some dumb human, but ravenous for the slightest bit of attention you showed him. He would often become frustrated at himself for not being able to admit his own feelings.

“Mammon you’re completely ridiculous,” he remembered hearing Satan say. “That’s something seven-year-olds do. It’s playground romance. Tell them they have cooties, but miss them as soon as they’re gone.”

That’s not true...he never said you had cooties. But he DID miss you when you were gone. Hell, he missed you right now and you’re down the hall! He wanted to confess to you, and there were a few times when he almost did! But the timing was just never right. He was always being interrupted by someone or something and then the moment was gone as soon as it came. Who knew when he’d get another chance? Unless he just went for it. Should he do it today after school? What would he say? What would YOU say? How could he play it cool?

“Roflolol Mammon’s tsundere attitude is just proving that he’s soooo desperate. I’m embarrassed FOR him lololol.” Levi’s voice rang. He became more and more frustrated with each ill-timed memory that popped into his head.

‘Screw that little otaku creep.’ He thought. ‘What does he know? Kid hasn’t gotten laid in centuries! The GREAT MAMMON is NOT desperate.’

Except he was.

He WAS desperate. The more he thought about dating you the more he saw himself playing with your hair, and taking you on cute dates, and holding you by the waist, and kissing you softly, and unbuttonin-

“Mammon?” Solomon asked, snapping in front of Mammon’s face, bringing him back to reality.

“Whattaya want Solomon? Can’t you see I’m busy thinking?”

“Oh, so you ARE capable of thought!” He said with a wry smile.

“Dick…” Mammon muttered under his breath.

“Well, I just saw you staring into space and I figured I should let you know that the bell rang like almost two minutes ago.”

“WHAT?!” Mammon bolted out the door and down the hall.

“You’re welcome!” He called after him. Solomon looked at the pen he lent Mammon (of course he was unprepared) left abandoned on the desk.

“School supplies. The one thing he DOESN’T steal.” He chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh, there you are!” You said smiling as an out-of-breath Mammon caught up to you walking back home from school.

“Jeez would it kill ya to wait for a guy?” He panted.

“Sorry,” you giggled, “I waited for a bit but I thought you weren’t coming. I thought what I said before scared you off…”

“Pft! ME? Scared? I- uh...” However, it dawned on him that now you were with him again… alone. And now was the time! He was finally gonna confess his feelings!

‘Just do it now Mammon,’ he thought. ‘Get it over with you pussy! Rip the bandaid of love off!’

But how the hell can he say it? He hadn’t gotten to that yet in his daydream… he kinda just skipped to the part where you guys like...touch butts and stuff? Solomon snapped him out of it before he could come up with something super suave and clever to say to you instead of stuttering like an idiot.

But here he was.

Stuttering like an idiot.

“Uh, I… uh.”

“Relax, I was just joking! It’s kinda cute that you're nervous though.” You admitted with a little sway in your step, fiddling with your backpack straps as they dangled tantalizingly by your hands.

“Yeah well-”

Wait...CUTE? YOU THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE? Damn it, now he’s blushing. Oh god could you see? Of course you could see! He looks like a baboon’s ass!

‘SAY SOMETHING YOU MORON!’

“At least now you have company in cute-ville. Ha hah, Cute-ville, population: us.”

Fuckin SMOOTH.

Did he have to add the finger guns at the end? He mentally kicked himself for saying the dumbest thing possible. And shortly following his self-loathing came the state of panic he found himself in as you began to laugh. Were you laughing with him? Or at him?

Shit.

“Oh so you think I’m cute too then? Thank you.” You said, a teasing edge to your words.

Mammon hadn’t meant to call you cute. Well...he HAD but not by saying you lived with him in cute-ville, whatever the fuck THAT meant. He stared down at his feet kicking the dirt around. His mind raced as he tried to think of something to say to reverse the damage he had done already but he came up blank. And then the worst thing that could have possibly happened at that moment, happened.

It got silent.

You said nothing. He said nothing. For like, thirty whole seconds. Why weren’t you saying anything? Did he screw it up? He turned to see if he could get your attention by saying something, ANYTHING, only to find you already looking at him with wide, sparkling eyes. He audibly choked on his breath. You let a small giggle out at his strained sound.

‘Mammon you fucking nerd.’

His eyes returned to the road in front of him as you both came up on The House of Lamentation.

With all the courage he could muster, and all the pride he could swallow, he stopped as soon as the two of you reached the door.

‘It’s now or never.’ He thought.

You could see that Mammon was visibly tense and blushing a deep crimson. You knew what was coming, you had set it up so perfectly for him. You knew exactly what you were doing when you brought up him hypothetically dating you. You planted the seed of confessing to you in his head right before your last class, knowing you wouldn’t be together. That way he could sit there and think about it without you there. All you had to do was give him that last little nudge.

“Mammon? Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?” You said with fake concern, knowing precisely why he was so uncomfortable.

“MC… listen up will ya?” He said, voice shaking. “I gotta tell ya something…” he trailed off. You hung on his every word. “MC, I’m only gonna say this once, got it? So ya better be payin’ attention. I...I love you, okay? I love ya, I’m crazy about ya. I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya and it’s drivin’ me nuts! And when you started talking about dating me, I almost lost it right in the hallway. That’s all I’ve wanted, since I met ya. I’m greedy, ya know? I want you to be mine and ONLY mine...”

Woah.

You weren’t expecting THAT. Sure maybe an ‘I like you’ or an ‘I really like you’ or even the coveted ‘I really REALLY like you’. But for him to fully confess his undying affections to you, right here on the doorstep?

Unprecedented. It shook you, if you were being honest. Of course you loved this moron back but this situation had escalated from 0-60 in 2.2 heartbeats and now it was your turn to be a blushing, speechless, mess.

“M-Mammon… I…”

This was it. He was about to be humiliated even more wasn’t he? This was the part where you say that you were only joking about dating him and how you never want to speak to him again because he creeped you out. Mammon wanted the ground to swallow him up right there. Why did he just spill his guts out like that? It was diarrhea of the mouth. Absolute word vomit. He couldn’t stop himself! But at the same time he wanted to keep going. To let you know how beautiful he thinks you are, how much he adores you, how he wants to take a bath together and wash your body for you, how he wants to smell the lovely scent of your hair in his face after a night spent in each other’s embrace, or how you’re the only thing that matters more than money and Goldie, how he wants to be a better person for you so you could be proud to call him your boyfriend. But he had to clamp his lips shut before he admitted to more than just wanting a cuddle with you...

“Mammon... I love you too…” You croaked out softly.

Mammon could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears. What? Did he hear that right? You loved him back? Was this a prank? Was it a dream?

“And… I’d like nothing more than to be yours.” You added.

Mammon’s heart soared and there was no way to hide the big goofy grin or the tinge of red on his face. He moved instinctively and pulled you toward him, squeezing you against his body.

Your synapses momentarily pulled a cease-fire at his sudden action but after regaining the ability to think for yourself, you quickly returned his affection and wrapped your arms around his waist. You nuzzled into his chest, breathing in his natural scent mixed with his high-end cologne.

“O-of course you do! Who wouldn’t want The Great Mammon to be their boyfriend? Y-you should be honored.” He said into the crown of your head with a soft fondness and a hint of relief.

You tilted your head up to capture his lips in a soft, yet needy kiss. Taken slightly aback at your brash actions, he leaned into the kiss, snaking one of his hands up behind your head to steady you and the other down to the curve of your hips to draw you even closer. Now that you had admitted your feelings to him, he had received a boost of confidence. Hearing you say you loved him was an ego stroke and we all know what happens when his ego is stroked...

You gasped at his touch and let out a sigh as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, letting him take over without much of a fight. He licked into your mouth and gently tugged on your bottom lip to elicit tiny squeaks from you. Months of pent-up sexual tension and frustration between the two of you finally coming to a head. Gazes from across the room, touches that lingered just a moment too long, flirty words and claims of being your first man all lead to this at last.

Somehow in that moment you had enough consciousness to realize that the two of you still stood outside the door of the house where anyone could see the show you were putting on.

“Mammon...why don’t we take this back to my room?” The question came out far more seductively than you intended but you were breathless from the kiss and your voice presented itself as more of a moan. Mammon shuddered slightly at the way you spoke and couldn’t help but think of the sexual implications behind the innocuous question.

“Babygirl,” he spoke, with a warning tone. “Ya shouldn’t start something you can’t finish…”

Your eyes intuitively dropped just below his belt to get an eyeful of Mammon’s prominent “concern”. The cocky air in your response was unmissable.

“Who said I wasn’t gonna finish it?”

And that’s how you ended up on your bed in only your underwear, underneath Mammon who was kissing and nibbling at the sweet spot on your neck. You intertwined your fingers through his, your other hand free to travel the vast expanse of his exposed torso. Your skin flushed deeper with each nip he gave to your collarbones.

“Ah~!” Your small hiccupy moans and breathless whines filled what little space was left between you. Mammon sat up and pulled you up to him so he could unlatch your bra, throwing it to the side. He kissed in between your breasts as his hands came up to massage them. He wrapped his lips around one nipple and started suckling while rolling the other one tenderly between his thumb and forefinger. He continued kissing down your stomach until he reached the hem of your panties. He glanced up into your eyes asking for silent permission to take them off. You nodded rather curtly, signaling your wish for him to continue. He hooked his fingers in the sides of your panties and you lifted your hips up ever so slightly so he could slide them off of you. His eyes trailed every inch of your fully naked form.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” Mammon said between kisses at your hip bones. “I can’t believe I have you here like this, all to myself.”

“Mammon, please…” You nearly whispered.

“Please what, doll?” He asked coyly.

“Touch me, kiss me, eat me out, fuck me, anything! I need to feel you…” You admitted, shying away from the hunger in his eyes.

“You got it babe.” Mammon spread your legs open and placed a kiss right to your core followed by a few strained licks to your sensitive clit. You gasped at the sensation and your hands flew down into his soft, fluffy hair. You unconsciously pushed his head down, forcing him to lick into you deeper. He groaned softly at your taste on his tongue which only caused him to become more ravenous. He was eating your pussy with fervor now, softly nipping at your clit and drawing circles with his tongue.

“Ah, fuck!” You cursed out, feeling yourself beginning to let go. At this compliment, he sped up the pace of his ministrations. You noticed how he wrapped his arms around your thighs, drawing you closer so he could fuck you deeper with his skilled tongue. Your praise sparked something primal in him and you wanted to push him a little further.

“Fuck, you’re eating me out so well Mammon! I feel like I’m gonna cum!” You praised.

At this point Mammon was practically GROWLING into your cunt, eating you out like a man depraved, slurping and sucking and licking.

“Yeah? Then cum for me baby. Hump my face if ya have to. Cum on my tongue. Your pussy is fuckin’ delicious, let me taste how sweet your cum is.” He said between licks and kisses, nibbling gently at your labia.

You felt the tell-tale pit feeling in your abdomen tightening as he spoke his obscenities. All it took to get you over the edge was Mammon shoving two of his fingers into you and pumping them in and out in time with the flicks of his tongue and you were gone. Your eyes fluttered as you came with a loud sigh. Mammon gave you a couple of pumps while you rode out your orgasm, careful of not overstimulating your pulsing clit.

He barely let you get a few good breaths in before crashing his lips into your own. You could taste yourself on him, not that you minded, really. Something so lewd only helped in refueling your arousal.

“Fuck baby, that was amazing.” You moaned into his mouth, as he continued kissing you through your words.

“Yeah? Well I couldn’t have stopped even if I wanted to. Ya taste real fuckin’ good.” He said as he climbed off the bed to take his pants off. He was about to unbuckle his belt when you stopped him.

“Wait…”

“Somethin’ wrong, babe?” He asked with a look of concern. Now he was starting to panic again. Did you not want him to fuck you?

“Allow me.” You said, quelling his fears as you sauntered over. You stood in front of him and he placed his forehead against yours as you began to work on his belt, the clanging sound and your combined heavy breathing the only noise in the room. You then undid the button of his jeans and slid them down to his ankles, while dropping to your knees. His erection was trapped still behind his boxers. You grabbed his clothed member and Mammon squeaked at the solid grip you now held. You gazed lazily up to his glassy, hooded eyes and began to mouth over his cock gently, leaving wet patches on his boxers wherever your sinful tongue lay. He inhaled sharply, head already reeling from that hot, wet, little mouth of yours. You had your fill of teasing and finally freed him from his boxers, feeling the weight of his rather large cock in your hands. You gripped him with one hand around the base the other on the shaft, the soft skin juxtaposed by it’s hardness. You kissed the tip lightly and lapped at it with kittenish licks. Mammon suddenly grabbed your hair and pulled you off. You looked at him with confusion.

“Sorry babe, as much as I’d love to fuck that pretty mouth a’ yours, I just can’t wait any longer. I wanna fuck that pretty pussy of yours instead.” He walked back towards the edge of the bed and sat with his legs spread, palming and slowly stroking his stiff cock as he took in the sight of you.

“C’mere hun, why don’t ya have a seat?” A chill ran through you and straight to your exposed nipples, stiffening the little buds and this did not go unnoticed by Mammon. “So turned on you can’t even answer babygirl?”

All you could get out was a dry little “Mhm~” Mammon chuckled at how cute you were.

You straddled him as you lowered yourself onto his throbbing cock feeling every inch pushing deeper inside your quivering little hole, feeling the delectable stretch as he entered.

“Fuck,” Mammon cursed, “you’re so tight…” You let out a small huff as the back of your thighs met the top of his and he fully seated himself inside you. Now with you connected, he laid on his back, leaving his hips off the edge, giving him enough leverage to begin slowly thrusting into you.

“Ohhh fuck.” You cursed out in bliss. His hands gripped your waist as he rocked into you creating a steady rhythm.

“Fuck, you’re so big Mammon.” Upon hearing this compliment he began to push into your tight, wet heat faster, making your tits bounce with each thrust. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to keep this up, not only because of the challenging position, but because he felt like he could burst with every passing second.

“How ‘bout we try another position, hm? Whattaya say babe? Missionary? Kinda boring, I know, but-” He paused. His expression shifted slightly. Gone was the lust from before as he looked into your eyes and in its place was something more endearing.

“But what?” You inquired.

“I-I want to look into your eyes when you cum… I want to see how beautiful you look when I make you cum...I wanna see that look of ecstasy on your face...all cause a’ me...” He began to blush which seemed odd to you because he was literally fucking you seconds ago and yet still had the ability to be embarrassed while telling you something sweet.

‘He’s too adorable.’ You thought as you laid your head on the pillows. Mammon followed suit, climbing on top of you and kissing you tenderly. He guided himself to your entrance while gripping your hips. Once fully sheathed in you he leaned down for another kiss.

This kiss was different from the last few. It was certainly passionate, but it was almost desperate. He didn’t just want you, he NEEDED you.

He loved you.

You grasped for his hand amid his thrusts interlacing your fingers and he squeezed your palm earnestly. No words had to be spoken for you to both understand this intimate declaration of devotion.

Mammon began to pound into you harder, the sound of your lovemaking most likely audible from down the hall. Wanton moans and pants and skin slapping echoing through the room.

“Fuck you feel so good Mammon! Fuck, I love you! Ah~! I’m-I’m cumming!” You cried. Your walls clenched and pulsed around his cock with the intense wave of your orgasm. Mammon looked directly into your eyes with such adoration as you came, you could almost cry.

“Babe… fuck...I’m g-gonna cum-”

“Come inside me Mammon, I want to feel your love inside me.” You said not breaking away from your eye contact with his blue orbs, hazy from sex. He screwed his eyes shut with a shout of your name as he came into you, resting his head on your as his hips stuttered into you, releasing his load. You kissed the back of the hand you were holding as he came down from his high, slipping out of you and plopping down next to you. The two of you laid in silence, regaining your composure. You curled up into Mammon’s side, resting your head in the dip of his shoulder.

“I love ya so much MC...and I’m so happy I could die.” He said with a laugh and a sigh, wrapping his arms around his girl.

“I know Mammon...I love you too.”

He tilted your chin up to kiss you once more before drifting off into sleep. He awoke the next morning with the sweet smell of your hair tickling his nose, just like he always imagined it would after a night spent in each other’s embrace.

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luminescentlyricist · 4 years

Note

VD: y⊙ur turn, buddy :o)8 (if y⊙u want t⊙, that is)

VD: n⊙ full ⊙n pr⊙mpt, but h⊙w ab⊙ut just s⊙me b⊙nding? maybe putting my makeup ⊙n ⊙r fixing up my hair, y⊙u kn⊙w, getting int⊙ the r⊙utine. can g⊙ any directi⊙n y⊙u want, ⊙r y⊙u can use an entire different pr⊙mpt. i just want t⊙ hear y⊙ur take ⊙n me :o)8

;; Gotcha!! Hope you like this :o)

🃏A Road To Recovery ⊙

Being the newest troll in the circus troupe, as unintentional as it was, Jezakk often stood out like a sore thumb when it came to showcasing his skillsets. He was unbearably graceless, even though he had never adorned the classical shoes that the clowns seemed so fond of. He left trails in his wake, whether or not it was a physical presence. Scent trails, more often than not, that were unbearably easy for a certain other troll to pick up on. While the tinkerer had never established himself as a sociable troll, he kept himself silent despite his yearnings for interaction of any kind. It was a strange fear that helped him maintain his otherwise unassuming nature, though it did nothing to deter one Othamo Oculus. If anything, the smaller of the two had the feeling he was being watched around a corner more often than not, regardless of Othamo’s lack of sight.

Then, there was always the heaviness. Although noticeably thinner and smaller in stature when compared to the other purplebloods around him, there was an uneasy leadening feeling that occasionally swept him, and it was nothing that he could yet explain. Of course, there were quite a lot of things that he had failed to glean from his short time in the facility, when he was conscious. The only conclusion he could draw was that it was a power-based backlash from his time as Othamo’s chucklevoodoo puppet. Jezakk felt there were also things that he had been told then, critically, that his amnesia - as a result of the unfortunate puppetry - had made him forget.

This was one of those times that he didn’t want to forget. Jezakk sat out in the hallways leading to one room of the Mordant King, the ringmaster of the whole group and undisputed Lord of the Circus. Panton Magnic was his name, but that title had been long since forgotten in favour of raw greed and want to establish his power with a title. Sometimes, his tinkerer mused that Othamo was no longer the main puppeteer of the troupe. He fidgeted restlessly with the small golden pendant he had been given on his first day, twisting it around in his claws and glancing downwards to catch the Capries as it flashed in the light of the windows. These windows, Jezakk thought, were unnecessarily large, and depicted circus acts in manners more suited to scenes of the Sufferer’s preaching than entertainments.

He looked around himself, heart beginning to pound in his chest. Panton’s name was the only memory he had retained from the many-sweep-long amnesia, and he wasn’t sure why. It barely mattered. If he shared it with anyone, he feared being exiled from the troupe and never seeing Sealdad again. And the healing of his father’s injury was exactly what landed him in the troupe in the first place. It was strange how desperate he had once been to get into the area, because all he wanted now was to escape. But there was a moral dilemma to deal with, and that was the fact that he would have to choose between his friend and his father if he wanted to get out. As much as Othamo gave Jezakk the creeps, he remained one of the lucky few that held his attention for long enough.

There were vaguely familiar voices behind the door, those of Ferrum and Mierle, two of the other purplebloods that he often crossed paths with. They were friendly enough, but he was wary nonetheless. Tilting his head and standing, he realised that there was no way he was going to hear the conversation. After a few moments, they exited together, looking quite shaken. Laughing dryly to himself, Jezakk shivered in anticipation and dread. He’d not been looking forward to any sort of meeting with the ringmaster, and the unnaturally hesitant appearances of the other trolls did nothing to reassure him. Smiling at them as they passed, he forced his hands to his sides and entered the room without waiting for Panton to call him through.

First mistake.

There was something unnerving about the way that Panton swivelled on his heel to greet the other, and the calm smile that he wore did nothing to soften the sharpness in his gaze. Something told Jezakk silently to turn tail - literally, as it squeezed around his waist tight enough to hurt - and get out of there before he was sliced into. Instead, the tinkerer bowed his head to show his respect, stepping forward. Despite his acquaintances’ nervousness, the naive tinkerer saw next-to-nothing that he should have been concerned about until the ringmaster raised an eyebrow, clasping his hands in front of his body neatly and beginning to speak. His tone was soft and disarming, made to rekindle a false sense of security. Although the smaller knew this, he couldn’t help but begin to let his guard down.

“Y/o\)u( KN/o\W, JEZAKK, I’VE BEEN THINKING AB/o\)u(t Y/o\)u( RECENTLY.”

This caused Jezakk’s eyebrows to raise in alarm, but he was otherwise still. He’d had to work on suppressing his fidgeting in fear of irritating the other troupe members, which had also caused him to unintentionally become skilled in preventing general movements and emotional displays. Raising his head to look at Panton, he remained silent.

“THERE’S A SMALL J/o\B I WANT Y/o\)u( T/o\ D/o\ F/o\R ME, AND THERE IS N/o\ /o\NE ELSE Q)u(ITE S)u(ITED F)o(R IT. Y/o\)u( ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE BEES, I TR)u(ST? I HAVE SPENT AN ADMITTEDLY L/o\NG TIME SEARCHING F/o\R S/o\ME/o\NE WILLING T/o\ C)u(LTIVATE THEIR H/o\NEY, AND I HAVE N/o\W C/o\ME T/o\ A RECENT F/o\REG/o\NE C/o\NCLUSI/o\N THAT Y/o\)u( MAY J)u(ST BE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE.”

Jezakk often spoke without foreseeing consequence, and lacked much of a social filter. It proved itself a dire slip to make more often than not.

“I’Ll do IT, sir.”

Panton’s smile widened, showing off rows of teeth more suited to a shark than any troll. It was less comforting than it was menacing, and the ringmaster’s next words sent a chill through his subordinate’s whole body for no clear reason.

“AH, GOOD! I AM S/o\ GLAD I F/o\UND Y/o\)u(, JEZAKK. Y/o\)u( START IMMEDIATELY, N/o\ Q)u(ESTI/o\NS ASKED. ASK /o\C)u(L)u(S F/o\R ASSISTANCE IF Y/o\)u( M)u(ST AND BEAR IN MIND THE AM/o\)u(NT /o\f FAITH I AM PLACING HERE. D/o\ N/o\T BREAK IT, F/o\R THE C/o\NSEQ)u(ENCES WILL BE DIRE.”

And with that, Panton Magnic returned to his work. Jezakk shifted in his stance. There was a creak as the door was leaned against by another from the outside, and the man only looked up once more from his work before smiling - almost threateningly, despite the lack of teeth - and waving to dismiss the troll in front of him.

Leaving the room, the little tinkerer never expected to see Othamo already there and waiting for him to follow. Placing a hand on the blind troll’s shoulder to indicate where he stood, he looked towards his companion.“WElL shIt. DIDn’T expEcT TO hEar thaT. UH… wEll. I KNoW yoU caN gENERaLlY SMEll yoUr waY AROuNd pRettY weLL, oThAMO, Sir, BUt I thINK I’ll LEAve THe hEAvY LIfTin tO VIZeRA aNd LUmIra WHen I CAn GeT THeM to LIsTen ENOugH.”

Othamo raised an eyebrow, waving to Jezakk as if trying to snap him out of some kind of daze. There, on the palm of his hand, was a carefully drawn eye. Jezakk looked dumbly at it, placing his hand over the one seemingly offered to him. This caused the other to flinch back, curling his nose in disgust. The scent of lemons was heavy in the air, which made him smile despite the distaste he’d show moments prior. He treated those inferior to him as they should have been treated, and never once considered that the tinkerer - a newbie, fresh meat, the perfect little puppet for his games - would be any different, regardless of the time he had in an uncomfortably close proximity and seeing through his eyes. Although it was normally an unpleasant, sharp scent, the undertones of fruitiness unique to the other made fear smell inviting.

“i can see a little bit, y⊙u kn⊙w. en⊙ugh t⊙ want t⊙ c⊙mment ⊙n h⊙w idi⊙tic that was t⊙ assume.”

He murmured, pointing towards the eye on his palm and inadvertently causing Jezakk to look down towards it, even though he had nervously averted his gaze prior. The lemon still hung in the air between them, and the smaller’s appreension was unrelenting. Tension ran through his every movement, and the stiffness was what caused him to fumble and almost trip over. He likely would have, had Othamo not reached out to steady him, unintentionally knocking their bodies a little closer than was comfortable. The taller chuckled, letting his arms fall from around Jezakk and noting how powerful his lemon scent was after that, enough to make his head spin.

“i can generally see thr⊙ugh eye shapes as well, n⊙t just y⊙ur eyes. thatd be selfish, d⊙nt y⊙u think? als⊙, the legends are true. y⊙u smell ⊙f blackberries and fear.”

Jezakk nodded silently, seeing that Othamo would notice the gesture without shifting his arm. He couldn’t help but laugh in fear, even though his words were stuck in his throat, making it near impossible to muster any vocal reply. There was something disarming about the puppeteer, but he was entirely aware of what he was doing. It was making Jezakk on edge, constantly, and he hated it. As such, he sped up his walking, attempting to get as far away from his companion as possible. Due to his dismal height difference, it only took a few rapid strides for Othamo to catch up.

He still intended for the others to help, however, so he continued on his merry way while periodically checking whether or not his ‘friend’ remained at a safe distance from him. There was really no use bothering him further. The first section of the journey to his practice room - as it was in an entirely separate tent to the Ringmaster’s quarters - was filled with a tense silence, which at least one of the pair seemed to heavily regret. The tinkerer was spinning his Capries necklace about in his fingers as an anxious fidget once again, something he performed under stress frequently enough that he took no notice of the action more often than not. Attempting to break the silence, Othamo spoke. It was more of a private mumble than anything directed towards Jezakk, despite that he was wrongly addressed.

“i have n⊙ idea why that jerk th⊙ught it was a g◎︶◉d idea t⊙ put me in charge ⊙f the bees, jazakk.“

“JazAkK? I’M jEzAkk.”

To this, the puppeteer simply shrugged, giving his companion a toothy smile. There was no true joy in the action, and it was unnervingly similar to the Ringmaster’s in that it was more threatening than anything else. Othamo never appeared to drop his grin, which was one of the other reasons Jezakk found it hard to detect whether or not he was being genuine about his expressions. Reaching to place a hand on Jezakk’s shoulder in a mimicry, his claws dug deeper than necessary. He spoke in a hiss, though there was some lightness to it that was reassuring. As if he never meant to threaten, but it was habitual.

“well, y⊙ure n⊙t t⊙ me. y⊙ur ⊙fficial nickname is jazzy n⊙w.”

“I- fiNE. BuT You cAn’T LEt anyONe eLsE knoW… Ah, hERE we aRe. WaNnA CoMe in fOr a BIT? I dOn’t miNd thE cOMpAnY. NObOdy elSe mUch PUTs UP wIth me THeSe daYs. SoRRy… Uh, sOrRY AbOUt thE mEss. I’VE bEen tiNKerINg QUItE a BIT. sEcreT PRoJect.”

The tinkerer, still fidgeting restlessly, rubbed at the back of his neck.

“I SHoUld proBabLY gO anD sOrt ouT the BEE buSINess foR a Bit. NOw thAt I knoW yoU don’T wannA dEal WITh thEm. FeEL frEe to LOOk arOunD, i guEss.”

With that, he left his friend to his own devices for a moment, which likely wasn’t a good idea. There were things scattered all over the place in a frantic manner, as if there had been a fight or something had occurred very quickly. Otherwise, the room seemed relatively empty on the ground, instead hosting shelves that lined the walls filled with boxes of all shapes and sizes. These were Jezakk’s pride and joy; the jack-in-the-boxes were what he was known for among his friends, and rightfully so. He’d definitely honed his craft, making them with an unprecedented love and precision.

Luckily enough, certain trolls - such as Othamo himself, and Jezakk - had been born with tails, according to whether or not their lusus had one, although it was rare. This enabled Othamo to better navigate the room, sweeping objects aside and out of his path to sit and wait for his friend’s return. Closing his eyes, the troll noticed soon enough that there was a strangely printed pair of leggings discarded across a chair, and his grin widened. Perfect. Their ocular design - unnerving to some, and even more so to Othamo himself because of his phobia - would enable him to see properly, though significantly blurred. He had chosen to sit on Jezakk’s recuperacoon, which had been fitted with a cover. It seemed nearly unused.

Activating the chucklevoodoos he was so adept at using, feeling about for the eyes and latching onto them, he made sure to keep his own closed. He wouldn’t need them. Observing the room through his ’new’ sight made his head spin, more than it ever had before. But the fruity scents were like a comforting punch in the nose, so to speak, and it helped him relax slightly and disregard the strangeness of it. There was nothing he could see that would possibly reveal the secret Jezakk had mentioned beforehand, or so he thought. The truth was that he wished to sell his jack-in-the-boxes to help him gather enough Caegars and ensure a safer escape from the troupe.

Meanwhile, Jezakk had located one of the two trolls he wished for help, and he was glad to find that ze was pleasant enough for him to avoid losing his composure. Vizera was slightly too loud for his tastes, and he kept his distance from the acrobat beside him, recalling the enthusiasm with which she had accepted his comparatively gentle plea for assistance. It was not exactly his ideal bottle of Faygo.

“LuMira? YEs, hElLo. It’S… JEzAkk, AND i Don’t THiNk we’VE reaLLy spOken, bUT i wAS WOndeRIN if I couLd HavE soMe heLp mOVIn thEse BeEhOUsEs inTo mY roOm.”

“YEAH, LLLLLUMIIIIIRA! HELLLP THE KIIIID OUT, WON’TCHA? HE’S A NEWBIIIE, AND YOU KNOW HOW THE RIIINGMASTER GETS IIIIF NEWBIIIES GET THIINGS WRONG!”

The troll at the door wore a pleasant smile, directing zir gaze towards Vizera and nodding before looking back towards the little tinkerer, who was significantly shorter than both of them.

“oh!! of course i’ll helP you, jezakk!! i suPPose i have enough time, and i wouldn’t wish for you to get in trouble with the ringmaster!!”

With a small sigh of relief, Jezakk smiled towards Lumira - still, unfortunately, finding it rather difficult to speak because of the new people around him - and led the two through the task, eventually saying his shaky goodbyes to the two and returning behind the safely closed doors of his room. His heart was pounding in his chest, and there was nothing that could have possibly prepared him for the sight that greeted him in that moment. It was an absolute mess. Everything that was scattered on the floor beforehand had been shoved to the side messily. The fact that a few of the jack-in-the-boxes had fallen from their shelves had just established itself as the second most distressing sight there.

The first, of course, was Othamo.

Immediately, the smaller’s hands retrieved his card deck, and he began to rapidly shuffle them as a reaction to his nerves. There was nothing else he could think of except the boy on the floor, but his body completely refused to move in a way he wanted it to. It was hard to decipher what had happened, exactly, but Othamo was laid out on the floor, staring blankly towards the tapering ceiling with eyes weakly flickering purple. He looked as if he’d been almost paralysed. Tears dripped their way down his cheeks, an even paler lavender than his eyes themselves. The only sound in the room - that Jezakk could hear - was the beating of his own heart, so loud and panicked that it drowned everything else.

Jezakk wasn’t used to this at all. His claws were trembling as he shuffled his cards around, silken gloves at risk of unravelling from where they were pulled high to his shoulders. He wasn’t truly expecting anyone to be with him within his practice room, let alone when he returned to it after Othamo had scheduled a busy day at the shows. Because he was new to the troupe, everyone else tended to have more performances than he did, which left him lonely. But here Othamo was, finally giving him the company he so craved, and he had no idea what to do. Everything was just a little bit too wrong, and no amount of physical messing around could fix it. So he distracted himself first, because his thinkpan wasn’t letting him make any lateral solution to the problem yet.

Tiptoeing around so that he didn’t disturb anyone else, Jezakk let his mind drift away from his friend for a moment. He placed his cards away, attempting and failing to regulate his breathing. How could he, when his pan was being wild? Instead, he walked around and picked up all of his boxes that had fallen, softly humming a show tune under his breath that he was fairly sure Panton himself had composed. He wasn’t sure why his pan had strayed to it, but he didn’t like it much. There was a funny taste in his mouth about it, because it meant that something about that suave, manipulative asshole was genuinely likeable. Shaking his head physically in an attempt to clear it, Jezakk placed the last box upon the shelves and redirected his attention to his friend.

Clearing a space to sit next to Othamo, he crossed his legs and began to sing a little louder. Even though his voice was croaky and awful because of the tears that had begun to greet his eyes and blur his vision, he continued, hoping that his voice would at least rouse the one on the floor. There wasn’t much else he was able to do, because he couldn’t properly attend to someone who was unconscious. Othamo was practically a dead weight as it stood, so manipulation would prove difficult for Jezakk. Nonetheless, he continued to sing to his friend, the frown lifting from his lips into a smile.

However negative, he enjoyed the time he spent with the puppeteer, and hoped Othamo felt the same. Taking a handkerchief from his pocket, the clown gently wiped the tears away from his friend’s cheeks and eyes, which caused them to flutter and Othamo to stir. He flinched back, seeing the purple sparks that licked at his fingers, and shuffled his position so that he could give him some space to properly orientate himself.

“Ah, SHit, sORRy otH. DidN’T, UH, didN’t meAN tO hUrT YOu or ANytHIn…”

Othamo’s unseeing gaze followed Jezakk’s voice when he struggled into a sitting position, and he shrugged, not having gathered enough composure to vocalise his thoughts. Everything was spinning, and he felt dizzy even though there was no visual indication of it.

Although there was no longer a smile upon the tinkerer’s face, he was relieved beyond expression that Othamo had actually stirred. His fears often caught up with him, and he’d panicked about leaving the other troll to get into a bigger accident. Observing the smudging face paint smeared across his puppeteer’s cheeks in blackened tear trails, he pursed his lips. Softly telling Othamo to wait - as if he could do anything else - Jezakk left the room, locating Othamo’s own and entering it. It was cluttered, sure enough, but he was soon able to locate some liquorice-scented face paint among the jars of scenting strings and return to his friend.

“HOLd on. I thInk YOu smUdGed, mAn. LEmMe heLp yoU.”

He murmured, lifting the puppeteer into his arms with a groan and placing him on top of his recuperacoon once more, back against the wall. He hopped onto the cover himself, settling beside Othamo with his supplies. Taking a makeup brush and some remover, he began to gently brush away the crust of old makeup and remove the rest. After he was mostly clean, Jezakk preceded to wash his friend’s face of the smears with warm water on a cloth, all the while mumbling rapid-fire apologies whether or not he’d actually hurt the troll. He didn’t know how long it’d been since the blind troll had been able to reapply it himself or bothered to, but it couldn’t have been good.

He wrinkled his nose upon twisting the paint’s cap off, the scent making him almost vomit. Why Othamo liked liquorice was something he’d never understand, but he dipped the brush into the pot and began to carefully outline the boy’s ‘mask’ nonetheless. Subconsciously, he found his singing beginning again as he worked but reducing itself to a vague hum. It was a habit he’d suppressed, like many others, but Othamo made him feel safer about expressing himself. Filling it in gently, with slow and rhythmic strokes, he was pleased to find that the paint was drying rather quickly.

“YOu shOuLd gET soMe reST, BRoTHer. I CAn’T be sURE hoW loNg yOu weRe ouT FOr, buT yoU SEEm tiRed AS alL hEll. I hoPe I DId yoUr FACe PaInt WELl enOugH. I guEss I’M prEttY LucKy THaT YOu cAm’T SEE it… I’LL chEck On yoU LAtER, but I SHouLd go DEaL witH acTaLLy geTTin ThE bees FOr thE hOuseS. YOu caN usE mY reCUPerAcoON toDaY, lOokin IN no RIgHT sTaTe tO BE MOvIN.”

Once again using his unprecedented, caste-granted strength, the boy moved Othamo enough to slip the cover away from under him and help him ease into the slime underneath. Jezakk remembered how warm and relieving the sopor was, especially for physical pain. He’d installed a special heating apparatus underneath it so he - or another recipient - wouldn’t get cold in the harsher Alternian months. Turning this on and walking towards the door, Jezakk flashed Othamo an equally warm smile that would go unseen, but was nice regardless. Feeling a deeper sense of satisfaction than he had in sweeps, the tinkerer flicked the lights off and partially drew the door closed.

“HAve A gOOd rEsT, BRoTHer. yoU dEsERvE it. I’m pROuD oF yoU.”

#🏠 stuck at home 🏠#fantroll #jezakk imetat #othamo oculus #❤️ a world of our own ❤️

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grailbot143 · 5 years

Photo

Hiya @pechikka (#218), thanks for the ask and the encouragement! This one has been sitting on my desktop for several months waiting for a time when SonBot and I could polish it up, but without further ado. . .

Campaign: Crystal Gems

Session 3: Cheeseburger Backpack

ShieldsNRoses: ♪Hey, Mr. Postman, bring me a post, bring me the post that I love the most.♪

MotelCalifornia: The Mailguy walks around the corner of the cliff

ShieldsNRoses: Huh? I gasp My song came true! Do you have a package for me today?

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Hold on. Let me see what I've got here. takes out package Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?

ShieldsNRoses: No.

AwesomeSaucem: can I have it anyway

Pearlescence: Of course not! You're not even there! And you are presumably not the intended recipient.

AwesomeSaucem: so? that's never stopped me before

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* pulls out envelope Did you order a jury summons for R.J. Finkle?

Pearlescence: I'm not sure that you would order a jury summons. . .

ShieldsNRoses: That's not me, I'm Steven.

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Oh, right, right, right, Steven! pulls out a package Here it is, Steven Universe.

ShieldsNRoses: looks at package Ha! This thing is gonna help me save the world.

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Really? It says it's from um, whos it from?

ShieldsNRoses: o i didnt think of that. wacky sacks?

AwesomeSaucem: whats it like a hackysack? hows that gonna help?

ShieldsNRoses: just trust me

MotelCalifornia: alright kiddo, we'll go with it. its from *mailguy* Wacky Sacks Supply Company.

ShieldsNRoses: Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl think I shouldn't go on magic adventures because I don't know how to use my Gem powers

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* That seems reasonable.

ShieldsNRoses: But there are other ways I can help.

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* With a Wacky Sack?

ShieldsNRoses: Exactly!

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Do you know how you can save my world? takes out signature pad Sign here, please.

ShieldsNRoses: Aah! I rite my name and pu a bunch of stars aroound it

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures.

ShieldsNRoses: That's awful.

MotelCalifornia: the warp pad activates back at the house. Steven you can see the light:)

ShieldsNRoses: Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are back! I take the package and run bak inside

MotelCalifornia: *Mailguy* Wait, Steven! What IS a Wacky Sack?!

AwesomeSaucem: ya srsly man when r u gonna explain this

ShieldsNRoses: Huh? youll see. dad says you guys were gonna do a dungeon thing today. so i gots somethin to help so I could come wit you

Pearlescence: What? You can't come with us! You're not ready!

AwesomeSaucem: hell never be ready if we dont take him sometimes and this place shouldn't have any enemies, right?

MotelCalifornia: yea mostly just a puzzle dungeon

Pearlescence: Well, alright. I'm still going to raise objections in-character, though. Pearl would be concerned that something bad might happen to him without that reassurance.

MotelCalifornia: Alright continuing from where we left off with the gems. Garnet's still covered in feathers since she never bothered to take em off and Amethyst is still carrying around that giant egg.

STELLA: HELLO, STEVEN.

Pearlescence: Amethyst, we do NOT need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge and you have to make a new strength check for it every 5 minutes! That added almost 10 minutes to our campaign! What are you even going to do with it?

AwesomeSaucem: What? I got this. ima try to put it n the frige

MotelCalifornia: look it's not gonna fit. there's too much stuff already in there and there isn't any space with the shelves in there.

AwesomeSaucem: I'll just slide this tray out

Pearlescence: Great! There is milk and bagels and other food in there!

MotelCalifornia: Fine. I guess you can make a roll to fit the egg in there. um, what would you roll?

AwesomeSaucem: like i no

MotelCalifornia: fine, perception

AwesomeSaucem: but i suck with perception!

MotelCalifornia: Then i guess you suck at putting giant eggs into fridges too

AwesomeSaucem: *Rolls 4* AAURGH! Look, it fits! i jus slam the door on it

MotelCalifornia: A crack is heard from the inside. Amethyst fails to hear it.

AwesomeSaucem: Oh, man. We can make a big omelet, or a quiche, or big sunny side ups!—

Pearlescence: Steven. We fought a giant bird. We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out.

ShieldsNRoses: What? Why?

Pearlescence: I show Steven the Moon Goddess Statue. We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart! Oh, Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday. I project a hologram of the gala we had at the Sea Spire near the beginning of our last campaign.

MotelCalifornia: remembwer that your projections are low detail

Pearlescence: It doesn't have to be much. Just a general idea. I made a little bit of art from our descriptions. I'll upload it.

Pearlescence:

ShieldsNRoses: thats great!

MotelCalifornia: not quite how i remember it but i think this is better!

Pearlescence: It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue!

ShieldsNRoses: Wha? That's perfect!

Pearlescence: What? Why?

ShieldsNRoses: Because I can help carry it for you in this! I open my package and pull out this!

Pearlescence: A hamburger?

ShieldsNRoses: It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger! Aww, I blew it. i put it on I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like, "Dang, Steven, that's so cool." But this is obviously important Gem business.

Pearlescence: Yes, so you should let us take care of it.

ShieldsNRoses: What? I'm a Gem! I lift up shirt and points to gemstone

Pearlescence: But you've still got a lot to learn.

AwesomeSaucem: So, let him come! waving my hands It'll be educational.

Pearlescence: Hmm, alright. I hand the statue to Steven You can carry it in your hamburger.

ShieldsNRoses: Hmm. I open the backpack Check this out! Everything's a pocket! Even the cheese is a pocket! I could fit a lot more stuff in here. Give me a minute. I'll pack extra supplies.

ShieldsNRoses: I wanna grab some food in cas I get hunngry. What do we have?

MotelCalifornia: Well, there sere bagels and milk but the milk would have spiled when it fell

ShieldsNRoses: I'll just take the bagels. Ooh I also need clothes in cas its cold. wat do I have other than this shirt?

MotelCalifornia: um, there might be a couple of sweaters in the hall closet?

ShieldsNRoses: um I'll take those. I'm pretty sure there was a raft in there too so ill take that

AwesomeSaucem: r u gonna take the kite n there 2?

ShieldsNRoses: OOh ya thatd be cool. Is there anythin in my rooom that I could use?

MotelCalifornia: you have your vieogames, your posters, yur action figures, your stuffed animals, your clock, your pillows and blanket. I'm not sure waht your looking for herer

ShieldsNRoses: Mr. Queasy isn'tr an animal!

Pearlescence: Mr. Queasy?

MotelCalifornia: Its a stuffed animal that SheldsNRoses has. its basically sick all the time and complains when you shake it. He thinkss its hilareous

AwesomeSaucem: dude it sounds hilarios

ShieldsNRoses: *gasp* LOL Mr. Queasy! I shake the plush doll and laughs You're definitely gonna come in handy! I remove the first aid kit and stuff him in

MotelCalifornia: first aid kit? i don't remember that

Pearlescence: Steeeven, let's GO!

ShieldsNRoses: Coming! walks down stairs and onto the warp pad

MotelCalifornia: ok, wait. Shieldsnroses, what all is in yur cheeseburger?

ShieldsNRoses: um, bagles sandwitches, kite, raft, 2 sweaters , and mr. queasy

MotelCalifornia: ok

Pearlescence: Woah, Steven, did you bring your whole room?

AwesomeSaucem: Back that thang up.

STELLA: LET'S WARP

AwesomeSaucem: Suck it in, Steven!

Pearlescence: Do you remember how to do this?

MotelCalifornia: ShieldsNRoses make a warp pad roll

Pearlescence: Oh, wow! It's been a long time since we had to make warp pad rolls!

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls 4*

MotelCalifornia: Steven starts floating and his head goes out of the warp stream.

Pearlescence: Keep your head in. I pull his head in Come on.

MotelCalifornia: yu all make it to the sea spire. Steven falls down as the other gems land gracefully

ShieldsNRoses: Whoa, the Sea Spire!

MotelCalifornia: As yu look at the spire a piece falls off.

Pearlescence: It wasn't like this a hundred years ago.

STELLA: I'M SENSING STRUCTURAL INSTABILITY.

MotelCalifornia: cracks form on the ground around you

ShieldsNRoses: Oh, yeah. That's never good.

Pearlescence: Gah, Steven!

MotelCalifornia: shields roll for acrobatics to avoid a piece falling on you

ShieldsNRoses: What? *rolls 8*

Pearlescence: I roll to save him *rolls 14*

MotelCalifornia: you save him

Pearlescence: Alright, hold on. We're taking Steven back! I hug Steven. I thought you said this dungeon was going to be safe! It can't be safe if it's FALLING APART!

MotelCalifornia: a weird sound comes out of the cheeseburger backpack

ShieldsNRoses; Oh, Mr. Queasy! LOL

MotelCalifornia: Pearl, it's not too bad. he'll be ok [probably]

Pearlescence: Steven! This place is your heritage. I want you to stay and help, but you really got to take this seriously! Can you do that, Steven?

ShieldsNRoses: You got it, dude! I stick my tongue out

Pearlescence: Yesss...

STELLA: ENOUGH WE HAVE TO MOVE.

MotelCalifornia: you come to the moat. you see on the other side a building with tall arched windows and small diamond windows above them. do yall remember it?

STELLA: I STOP EVERYONE.

AwesomeSaucem: What's the hold-up? We can clear this easily.

STELLA: NO. THE MAGIC THAT SUSTAINS THE WHIRLPOOL CREATES A VORTEX THAT WILL PULL US BELOW. I SHOW THEM WITH A ROCK

Pearlescence: So we can't jump?

ShieldsNRoses: Oh, wait! I pull out sweaters from backpack

AwesomeSaucem: What are those for?

ShieldsNRoses: They WERE for keeping warm, I tie them together but check it out. I whip one end through the window and try to catch the other end.

MotelCalifornia: roll for slight of hand?

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls 15*

MotelCalifornia: Ok i guess it works

ShieldsNRoses: I take a deep breath and jump

AwesomeSaucem: Steven!

Pearlescence: Wait!

MotelCalifornia: as Steven reaches the wall he is being pulled down by the vortex. I can't really make this safe if yu kep doing things like this

AwesomeSaucem: He's getting sucked down!

MotelCalifornia: roll for acrobatics

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls nat 20*

MotelCalifornia: wow! I guess you make it! you run up the side of the wall and into the archway

ShieldsNRoses: Cheeseburger!

AwesomeSaucem: Steven! Way to go! C'mon, guys! i summon my whip and grab them and whip it thru the window. Steven style!

MotelCalifornia: You have to roll

AwesomeSaucem: *Rolls 22*

AwesomeSaucem: we make it!

Pearlescence: Roses, you must be more careful! Don't ever do that again!

ShieldsNRoses: Sorry!

Pearlescence: But it was pretty great.

MotelCalifornia: Pearl, do you want to descirbe the damage?

Pearlescence: Oh, um, certainly! Oh, no, no, no, this is even worse than the outside. Ugh... that's... oh! Oh, this didn't used to be so— Oh, and the water damage. This pillar... Oh, and this had a head...

AwesomeSaucem: This is y we don't let u dm we walk ahead so i dont have to listen to her drone on

Pearlescence: That's fine. We stop and look at a particular statue. Oh, Steven, once the statue's in place, it'll restore all of this to its former glory

MotelCalifornia: as u walk up to 1 of the statues you see crystal shrimp crawling up it

Pearlescence: aaah! I summon my spear and slice the statue in half sending the top half off the edge along with the disgusting little shrimp. Why would you bring these back?

MotelCalifornia: this is where we met them first y wouldn't they be here?

ShieldsNRoses: What was that goobers?

Pearlescence: Crystal Shrimp.

MotelCalifornia: Garnet and Amethyst see a swarm of crystal shrimp at the top of the staires

AwesomeSaucem: You guys, we got a problem!

Pearlescence: We run up to them and see the crystal shrimp. I gasp. It's an infestation. And we have to pass through there to get to the top.

ShieldsNRoses: i look closely at one how big are they?

MotelCalifornia: small like a cat

ShieldsNRoses: Can't you just squish 'em?

Pearlescence: I pull Steven away from them. Don't touch that, their shards are deadly! We need to clear a path. I create a plan and share it through a projection.

Pearlescence:Amethyst, if you go around to the side and disturb them with a spin attack...

Pearlescence: And Garnet, if you move to the ceiling and strike this exact spot... I show the spot as an X with my projection

ShieldsNRoses: Bagel sandwich!

Pearlescence: then I can advance with my... Roses, you interrupted my plan! And what does that even mean?

ShieldsNRoses: I take two bagel sandwiches out of the backpackand throws them on each side of the room.

MotelCalifornia: why?

ShieldsNRoses: so the shrimp can eat them

Pearlescence: You don't even have bagel sandwiches! You just brought bagels.

AwesomeSaucem: thats true

ShieldsNRoses: no i said sandwiches. why would i have just brought bagels? that's not a good meal if we get hungry

MotelCalifornia: he apparently did say sandwiches i tjus scrolled back up and looked. Shields, roll for animal handling

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls 16*

MotelCalifornia: alright, the shrimp group around the sandwiches and start to eat them, I guess there's a path for the gems

STELLA: BRILLIANT.

AwesomeSaucem: Oh hey, what do you know.

Pearlescence: I guess I don't need my grand hologram plan! Uh, uhh, how did you know that would work?

ShieldsNRoses: Well, if I were a shrimp, that's what I would do.

AwesomeSaucem: You ARE a shrimp.

Pearlescence: I just want everyone to know: my plan would have also worked.

MotelCalifornia: you make your way up the stares. you come to a room where there are several pillers around the room a giant crack on the wall to the left. there are broken stairwells over a crevice. as you reach the top Garnet you see the crack widen and a small river rushes through the crevise and forms a waterfall that drops down to the lower level

STELLA: WATCH OUT

MotelCalifornia: The wall to the left of them cracks and forms a small, rushing river that drops below.

AwesomeSaucem: What are we gonna do? i look at steven

Pearlescence: I also look at Steven.

STELLA: ME TOO

ShieldsNRoses: What? Me? y is every1 lookin at me

STELLA: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

AwesomeSaucem: i start chantin Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!

ShieldsNRoses: uh, uh, hold on. what else is in my backpak?

AwesomeSaucem: Pearl, c'mon.

Pearlescence: Oh, alright. I start chanting with her. Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!

ShieldsNRoses: o wiat i kno w I pull out A raft! i pull the handle and it inflates

Pearlescence: Steven, that's so sensible!

ShieldsNRoses: i put the raft in the water

MotelCalifornia: ok kiddo theres just one problem with that. it floats away

Pearlescence: Ugh!

Amethyst: srsly?

STELLA: I KNOCK DOWN A PILLAR OVER THE RIVER. GOOD IDEA ANYWAY, STEVEN.

MotelCalifornia: Everyone walks across the piller bridge and you continue on

AwesomeSaucem: Yeah, they can't all be winners.

MotelCalifornia: You climb up winding stairs that lead around the outside of the spire. At the top you see a pedastal.

Pearlescence: _This is it. The Moon Goddess pedestal. _ I look up to see what time it is

MotelCalifornia: Its still a few minutes before the moon is lined up

Pearlescence: And the moon is almost overhead! It's not too late to save this piece of history!

STELLA: STEVEN, THE STATUE

ShieldsNRoses: I pull out the statue and put it on the pedastal

MotelCalifornia: actually. . .

AwesomeSaucem: o no!

MotelCalifornia: you don't have it

ShieldsNRoses: wut??

MotelCalifornia: Sorry kiddo, I asked for your inventory and you didn't mention it

ShieldsNRoses: Uhh, I, uh, ah, uhh... cant you just asume i had it?

AwesomeSaucem: What's the hold-up?

ShieldsNRoses: Im freakin out here I don't have it.

Pearlescence: What?!

ShieldsNRoses: I must have left it on the bed!

MotelCalifornia: The moon is nearly lined up

Pearlescence: There's... there's no time...

ShieldsNRoses: Wait! I have an idea! I pull out Mr. Queasy

AwesomeSaucem: Could that work?

MotelCalifornia: um, i guess roll for it?

ShieldsNRoses: I put Mr. Queasy on the padastool.

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls 1*

MotelCalifornia: the moon blasts a ray of light onto Mr. Queasy. he floats a few feet up

AwesomeSaucem: omg is it gonna work? with a nat 1?

MotelCalifornia: he shakes violently and explodes

Pearlescence: Oh my! I thought for a minute...

MotelCalifornia: the spire begins to shake, and a bunch of cracks form in the ground.. The waterfall starts to close in on the Spire.

STELLA: EVERYBODY KEEP STEADY

ShieldsNRoses: No, no, no, no, no!

MotelCalifornia: The cracks separate and the gems are pushed apart. everyone roll

Pearlescence: *Rolls 14*

AwesomeSaucem:*Rolls 12*

STELLA:*Rolls 19*

ShieldsNRoses: This is all my fault. I broke it.

Pearlescence: No, Steven, the Spire was falling apart when we got here. You handled everything well under pressure. You did great!

AwesomeSaucem: Yeah, two out of four of your ideas worked. That's fifty percent.

MotelCalifornia: Shields you still need to roll

ShieldsNRoses: *Rolls nat 20*

ShieldsNRoses: Yeah. I guess you're right. They can't all be winners.

MotelCalifornia: hm, lets see. i guess your raft pops up

ShieldsNRoses: Wooo!

Pearl & Amethyst: Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!

STELLA: IT'S A 3 HOUR PADDLE HOME.

ShieldsNRoses: i pull out a bagel Anyone want a wet bagel?

Pearlescence: Bagel? Not bagel sandwich?

ShieldsNRoses: Well no one wants a wet bagle sandwitch!

#Celebration #Universe003 #@pechikka #CampaignAU #dnd #freewriting #Answered Asks

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archived--hell · 6 years

Note

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh, or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore!

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

#general oc tag #Anonymous

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jasondean · 7 years

Note

i'm sending you the first thing i thought of when i tried to think of an ask to send you. so. here's this cursed thing. heathersstuck.

ohhh my god okay first of all im gonna preemptively apologize for how long this is about to be.

another disclaimer that this is all gonna be based on my knowledge of the alternia that we see in homestuck itself because i havent gotten super into hiveswap yet. and, as we all know, any good homestuck au is one where the contending canon is thrust into the homestuck universe as opposed to the other way around. so im gonna spare everyone the painful ideation of plucking a small handful from the VAST homestuck cast just to put them into the plot of heathers

im ALSO gonna preface that im thinking about the heathers film while writing this, not the musical. and im not gonna go into anything regarding martha, betty, kurt, or ram because i think focusing on the main cast is enough for right now lol.

anyway, potential positions in the blood caste system as well as god tier assignments under the cut!

so ive definitely thought about this on several occasions and ive seen some heatherstuck content where the heathers are trolls right. the thing is, the color symbolism from both media dont line up. and the heathers being drawn to keep their original colors just doesnt work out with the hemospectrum. like no way is heather chandler a red blood or mutant blood (imo itd make sense for jd to have mutant blood). the heathers being red, yellow, and green blooded would just make them a group of lowbloods and that doesnt fit with the power structure depicted in either canon.

heather chandler would absolutely have fuchsia blood! i couldnt imagine it any other way. duke could maybe get away with being jade blooded because thatd put her in the midblood range but also what does that leave for mcnamara? i dont really have a good answer for that right now but -

the heathers themselves aside, veronica would actually be pretty well suited for being some kind of blueblood (teal or cerulean maybe?) veronica being blue blooded would put her in a position of enough privilege to be taken under chandlers wing but also not privileged enough to naturally be at the top.

jd would probably be rust or mutant blooded. but its also fun to consider: purple blood? since those in that blood class are more susceptible to becoming more ..unhinged. however, i personally favor rust or mutant blooded since i am partial to reds and it would help play into his hatred of society.

trolls or not though theyd all be destined for something right? so im gonna move onto potential god tiers.

now this is where my laptop cut out so most of the classpect analyses themselves come with help fom http://dahniwitchoflight.tumblr.com

im imagining veronica as a rogue of space. first of all, space players are CRUCIAL to a session as one of the cardinal aspects (space & time making up the fabric of paradox space). its been said by calliope that space can be a passive aspect that holds great power, “hosting the stage before suddenly in some way ‘showing who the master truly is’” and then collapsing in on itself. space players are essential to sessions because it falls on them to light the forge which is necessary for the process of ultimate alchemy (creating the next universe) - and that aside, the idea of veronica collecting and breeding frogs is incredibly cute to me.

“Those bound to the aspect of Space are, as the name suggests, concerned with the big picture. They are patient, masters of the art of ‘wait-and-see’, and are inclined to take things as they come. That isn’t to say that they’re pushovers or willing to let injustice lie-they just choose their battles wisely, understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before. To this effect, they tend to be innovators, concerned with creation and redemption. Catch them recycling the old to make the new, the fresh, and the beautiful. For the Space-bound, the journey is as, if not more, important than the destination; how they do something is as important as what they do. At their best, they are steady, impartial, and creative. At their worst, they can be detached, apathetic, and vague.” – this description of space players comes from the extended zodiac quiz itself

rogues invite theft through their aspect or theft of their aspect. they have problems coping with their aspect or their supposed lack of it, they think that they cant handle it which causes them to give it up too easily. the challenge rogues face is to come to terms with their aspect and own it.

heres a bit on rogues of space specifically: “They might have a tendency to quickly change the subject into others things or cover their interests up to distract from what they perceive to be their failed creations. They may feel uncomfortable with the thought that everything is random and meaningless in the universe, or that it is what you make of it, because they often think they don’t know what to make of it. They may feel lonely at times and feel like they have too much Space to themselves, wanting to fill it up with other people and things. They might lower their standards to the point that they give up their personal Space to someone not worthy enough, just so they won’t feel alone.On the flip side they might feel like they have too much stuff, maybe because they invite others to use up their Space, giving it away too readily, lamenting their lack of impatience with others, or the ability to say no to people. […] a Rogue’s challenge is to learn to be comfortable with their Aspect, and allow the healthy parts of it to enter their lives. They must learn to be okay with what they have right now, that they have it within themselves to change things and make them better. They don’t have to give up so easily.”

jd seems like hed obviously be a prince of doom and this feels self explanatory but. princes are described as being stubborn and pessimistic and they actively destroy using their class / destroy through their class. a princes challenge is to not end up destroying themselves along the way. doom aspect because not only does it pretty much encompass chaos, but the symbol (and the aspect itself has been speculated to be) pretty clearly draws from The Tumor which is. a giant fucking bomb essentially. another fun tidbit about doom players is that they are DEATH MAGNETS they die a LOT and its theorized that for this reason sburb has a sort of game mechanic in place to help balance that out by granting doom players multiple dream selves. i just think itd be really fun to see a sburb session where jd (maybe) cant be kept down by dying. doom is also associated with judgement and sacrifice, and have been said to be “fates chosen sufferers.” “doom players are wise, kind, and non judgmental at their best and bitter, resentful, and fatalistic at their worst.”

and while i definitely think the doom class is fitting for jd im stuck between prince and bard? bards are the embodiment of the “wild card”. they allow destruction through their aspect / invite destruction through their aspect and their challenge is to not be ruled by the whims of their aspect. and im just now thinking that while this does make sense in its own way, princes and bards are active / passive opposites and i cant really imagine jd being the more laid back of the two. hes just too extra, lol. although i love the idea of jd being in that ridiculous bard getup

heres some insight to princes of doom: “A Prince of Doom unapologetically pushes people way past their own limits. They are truly passionate, even almost crazy activists. They hate being told no or that they can’t do something, but are more likely to simply destroy or kill the person who said no then prove them otherwise. Depending on what kind of situation or session they find themselves in, and whether or not what they do is really needed at the moment, they can be heaven sent saviors, freeing people from what binds them, or terrifying dictators, ruling over people and enforcing their will wherever they want, letting nothing and no one limit what they do. […] They likely use Bombs and Fire as their main weapons. They have a lot of potential to go down a very destructive or even evil path if they use their powers irresponsibly, but not every Prince of Doom is automatically evil or will Doom their session.“

heather chandler i can definitely see being a witch of rage. witches manipulate using their aspect or manipulate their aspect directly and their challenge is to use their rule breaking powers in a morally conscious way.

heres some info about witches of rage: “You don’t tell a Witch of Rage anything, they tell you. Anything you have to say they can Reject with Doubt, Negativity and Skepticism and be like ‘No you’re wrong, it’s actually this way.’ They manipulate fear, mistrust and anger, either lowering it or making you believe it’s not all that bad, even if it is. Or they can amplify it, making you paranoid and afraid of even mundane things. […] They can be ‘loose cannons’ and this can be good or bad, depending on how good you are on getting them on your side and keeping them there. Their entire moral challenge lies in the choice between using their powers on their allies or their enemies, like most witches.”

heather duke would likely be a maid of mind. a maid creates with their aspect / creates their aspect, and a maids challenge is to rely on themself for their aspect. this absolutely isnt to say that duke cannot think for herself at the beginning of the story by any means.

here’s a bit about maids of mind: “At first they tend to defer to the decisions of the group rather than be a part of them and are more focused on watching and waiting and seeing how other people make decisions. […] When a Maid of Mind starts rising to their challenge, they start deciding for themselves what roles they need to play and when. […] They may just have an apathetic and indifferent personality in general. They start letting their thoughts and decision be known and have an effect instead of just referring to others and blending in.”

and finally heather mcnamara would probably be a page of heart. (i had a hard time coming up with a god tier for her since, if im being honest, shes not a character i pay much attention to.) pages invite exploitation of their aspect / invite exploitation through their aspect. they start with a deficit in their aspect that they overcome through (obvious) overcompensation. their challenge is to keep at things, even if they fail or the journey is slow, to become stronger in the end.

bit about pages of heart: “They can be very over dramatic in their emotional displays, blowing up every little thing completely out of proportion and giving disproportionate emotional responses to almost everything. […] They can be easily exploited through all of this by other people who either take advantage of the Page’s emotions and empathy, or take advantage of the Page’s obsessions and desires, using it against them. […] When they rise up to their challenge, they start learning to be more balanced and sincere with their emotions, their affections, and with themselves. They learn how to be passionate, sincere and truly honest with themselves and others.”

and all of this is just SOME of the possibilities of what could happen in a homestuck heathers au. would they all be in the same session? would they all be trolls? would the heathers & veronica be in their own session and jd be in his own session that ends up intertwining together? theres literally SO MANY possibilities when it comes to homestuck aus and i love that shit.

now that ive spent so much time speculating all this its time to deposit myself directly into the dumpster

#heathers #homestuck #i cant believe im about to use this tag but #heathersstuck #or wait #heatherstuck #i think single s feels more right #anyway #stupidestquestion #are you happy #.txt

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xeminencefrontx · 6 years

Text

I remember how achingly and painfully lonely i was as a freshman and sophomore in college. I literally had no friends but was surrounded by tons of people that were friends with each other. I wanted someone to see me so badly. Now i can't imagine what it would even be like to have a group of friends. Or someone who was happy to see me. It's a strange concept. Not everyone deserves love or kindness or companionship. Think of all the living creatures on the earth that are mistreated, ignored, lonely, scared. There are many more of those than there are of the opposite. I am one of the lonely ones. No one particularly likes me and why should they. I am not funny or smart or interesting. I am fat and i have an ugly face, so I'm not particularly pretty or desirable to be around. Thankfully my mother and grandmother take pity on me. They are merciful and love me and pretend to be interested in me. Or maybe it's even genuine, sometimes i like to think that. But i think their nurturing is born out of guilt. They brought me into this world and my grandmother feels guilty that my father was never interested in me. They have seen that i have nothing to offer to anyone else and have thankfully expressed interest in me, provided me with things and opportunities so I at least wont be poor in company and fiscally. I am very grateful. I love to fantasize though. What would it be like i wonder to be liked? My mother and grandmother care for me, humor me, provide for me, but i can't say they particularly like me. I am a terrible person, i am selfish and spoiled and difficult to love. Everyone reminds me of this, so it must be true. I dont know why I'm like this. I wish i werent. Perhaps i could have a group of friends or know what it's like to have people happy to see me. Like genuinely happy. Maybe i would actually make someone's life better even? Thatd be weird. But i bet it would also feel really good. Fortunately i have my cats. They seem to be happy to see me and they love to be around me. They're like my little minions. I suppose theres not really much i can do except to try and be less of a burden on people. And i am making an honest effort to do that. I dont always do it right, but im trying. Eventually i think i will totally be self dependent and that will make me feel good. Maybe a little lonelier, but at least not makimg me feel worse about myself. If i could have one wish in the entire world i would wish that no one in my family ever ever ever has to feel this way. At least in my immediate family. I dont want any of them to feel lonely or worthless and that theyre unloved weird or disliked. I am especially concerned about my brother he is young, he still has a lot of experiences to be had and things to enjoy. And i hope he gets to. I want him to be surrounded with friends and to be valued and feel like he can do anything in the world. I'd like to imagine that i feel these intense negative feelings or have been delegated to being this kind of way because someone needs to, and I'm the one steong enough to bear it. In all reality it's because im a terrible person that doesnt know how to change and im just awkward and weird, but if i imagine it that way, it feels like I'm doing something noble.

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caepaecaesurae · 8 years

Text

> Cae : Fail to talk with Psii again, less violently

Today at 3:22 AM palteringcecutiency -- [PC] is online! -- i want to be friends still caepaecaesurae > Oh good fuck what do you say to that. Your friend is a horrible mess.

caepaecaesurae are you alright? palteringcecutiency no doesnt matter caepaecaesurae ... It should. palteringcecutiency shrug caepaecaesurae WVhat did I do, that I can stop doing? palteringcecutiency nothing you want to stop doing caepaecaesurae The quads thing? palteringcecutiency ha. no. the shit where you dont want me here threatening everything caepaecaesurae ...chief, that's not I don't think I'm doing that. I wvant to be your friend. The first time I sawv you it wvas a huge relief. Plus or minus the concern for my owvn hide, but wve'vwe covwered that. You're here, you're real, you usually don't wvant to kill me, it's amazing. palteringcecutiency youre not going to convince me so just save the effort still wanna be friends though i miss you too as stupid as that is caepaecaesurae It's... probably pretty foolish on both our sides. caepaecaesurae That doesn't make it stop, though. I'd like to be friends. I don't alwvays knowv howv. palteringcecutiency i dont either palteringcecutiency youre a trap and i dont want to get too close also stupid caepaecaesurae If it helps anything, I swvear to you absolutely that I am trying my levwel best to leavwe Kankri, Porrim, and Meulin out of any conflicts betwveen us, howvevwer they end up. I don't describe it to them, I only let them knowv you're upset if I think you need them, and I don't tell them wvhy or howv or wvhat. I do not like making people choose betwveen me, and an alternativwe. palteringcecutiency you dont need to theyve already picked caepaecaesurae I disagree. palteringcecutiency told you youre not going to convince me caepaecaesurae You somehowv wvish to be my friend, despite evwerything that has happened. It does not erase the past, only somehowv attempt to occur in spite of it. ...so it is on many fronts. I'll stop pushing. palteringcecutiency i want to be friends because im alone and im tired of it i dont fucking care if it kills me anymore its inevitable why not have fun until you get tired of me caepaecaesurae Death is, for evwery troll. Its route can be negociated. I'd prefer to havwe fun too. palteringcecutiency i wish youd shorten the route to be honest but youre not gonna caepaecaesurae Can wve restrict our attentions to situations that are the same, wvhether I am hostile or sincere? caepaecaesurae I... cannot compromise, on wvhether I mean you no harm or not. But I can cooperate wvith safeguards that wvould be possible to perform, evwen if I am sincere. Small, specific acts that make this time of trying to be friends more tolerable for you. caepaecaesurae You do not believwe me and I cannot budge, but if wve find the places wvhere these beliefs ovwerlap, perhaps wve can find something better for you than wvhatevwer wve are doing nowv. palteringcecutiency ...i dont know what thatd be any of that i dont know what you want and you wont tell me so i just dont /know/ anything i dont know your moods or your goals or what will make you decide im not worth it anymore i cant fucking read you cause youre as fake as i am and i hate it caepaecaesurae I'm trying not to filter myself, or be fake, around you at all. It doesn't alwvays wvork. I knowv you wvon't believwe me saying it. It's... interesting, talking into the wvind like this. palteringcecutiency how is it caepaecaesurae It's frustrating. It's hard. caepaecaesurae Searching for the magic wvords that wvill make a difference and count. palteringcecutiency you could try being honest for once caepaecaesurae I wvant a wvorld wvhere my moirail can havwe his brother. I'm not great at honesty. All I can do is my best. palteringcecutiency we had that. it got taken from us. twice. caepaecaesurae Third time's the charm? palteringcecutiency there is no third time we parted ways sweeps ago its only going to get farther when i finally get myself killed caepaecaesurae He doesn't wvant immortality. He's going to leavwe me to join you somenight. palteringcecutiency i doubt that even if he does die caepaecaesurae I wvish I'd killed you in that auction hivwe on Alternia. WVhatevwer crude mercy stayed my hand is one of my larger regrets. Maybe you'd havwe more peace of mind then, and wvould havwe had longer wvith him. palteringcecutiency maybe a little before some other bullshit took him from me again caepaecaesurae He worries for you. palteringcecutiency he worries for everyone caepaecaesurae Congratulations, you're included. palteringcecutiency confetti caepaecaesurae ... Howv long havwe you been here, mit? A full swveep? caepaecaesurae ..I think it's in that range or longer. palteringcecutiency no its only been a cycle caepaecaesurae I must havwe misremembered. I knewv there had been twvo gift-givwing holidays palteringcecutiency showed up a few perigees before the one before the last caepaecaesurae And it's nowv been a fewv perigees after the last, so the swveep mark isn't too far awvay I suppose palteringcecutiency yeah caepaecaesurae ...regardless... Life has been proceeding normally this long, wvith your family in reach, wvith descendants and alternates and tumblr and the vwiewv outside your wvindowv. Might it not go another cycle, the same wvay? Half of one? Is there some length of time, from a perigee to a wveek, that you can believwe it wvill continue this wvay? ..I don't need to knowv wvhat it is, if so. ..but.. palteringcecutiency ha that depends on you doesnt it caepaecaesurae If you are wvaiting for some invwisible harm to fall, it does not seem to be soon in coming. ...Enjoy wvhat you can bring yourself to. palteringcecutiency i try to i dont always succeed mostly dont caepaecaesurae I'm sorry to hear that. ... Anything I can do to make that easier, I wvould like to. You wvill be wvaiting a long time, I think. palteringcecutiency yay more suffering my favorite caepaecaesurae ... Confetti. palteringcecutiency heh caepaecaesurae Do the pictures of Arlequin wvearing my skull amuse you? i havwe the link. caepaecaesurae I also havwe one of my actual execution for some godly reason, though I don't knowv if that wvould entertain you near as much. palteringcecutiency ...ive had my fill of executions thanks caepaecaesurae ...Sorry. palteringcecutiency its fine doesnt make me twitch as much anymore palteringcecutiency just not in the mood right now caepaecaesurae That's fair. palteringcecutiency sorry caepaecaesurae It's not your fault. If I think of any wvay wve could bridge the trust gap, I'll let you knowv and maybe wve can talk about it. WVays that don't allowv any funny business. It'll at least givwe you something interesting to tell me to fuck off about. I wvant to keep being your friend, wvhatevwer that means. You seem tired. Is it time to rest? palteringcecutiency if you wanna waste your time pretending its not like i can stop you. but youre fun when youre not toying with me. i do like you and wanna be friends yeah probably palteringcecutiency been a long night telling you guys youre full of shit after all gotta rest up for whatever youre gonna pull tomorrow caepaecaesurae I'll probably ask you for lists of wvhat counts as toying or not toying wvith you, honestly. I'm not great at telling the difference. Rest wvell. Maybe somenight I can come vwisit the cats. palteringcecutiency most of what you do is toying with me. but yeah. you should. theyre starting to come out. light cronus caepaecaesurae Light, Mituna. Good luck scheming. palteringcecutiency heh. you too. caepaecaesurae 👉 ( -_-) 👉

#ooc eyes only #palteringcecutiency #morbid jokes #paranoia/

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #3: "Make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent" - Mo

So first off WOOOOO! The vote happened exactly as it was supposed to. I'm hoping that means I'm actually on the pulse of this tribe. I've gradually been getting closer to Jared, and I think he trusts me probably more than I trust him.

Second off, this challenge my god. I hate it, like it's a good challenge but for me... oof. Doing this, it's like I have facial dyslexia or something. Like all of the mouths and eyes start blending together and it just starts to look nuts.

I'm hoping to keep trudging forward, if we somehow pull a win out of this, even better if Cyrena goes to tribal again given it was basically unanimous. Alternatively Orfeo to balance things out. I'm tired though and it's been a long day, so it is now time to sleep.

I’m conflicted because I so badly want to be a bad bitch and create an over the top plan but there’s such a high chance that it will flop and make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent. So I’m going to try to create my own kinda of genius that only applies to me. It sounds stupid but it’ll work. I’m being bold by saying it’ll work cus if I get eliminated I’ll look like a Doofenshmirtz. We’ll see. I’m already making charts to help me see who’s good and who’s not so good at comps. Comparing teammates to eachother and comparing the entire cast to eachother. Wish me luck. (Also I love everyone in this cast.)

So like I have so many mixed feelings about this cast. In terms of talking a lot of them are BORING or LEAVE ME ON READ, and like maybe for some it’s cause I’m not in their tribe but like, some people on my tribe still make me want to hit my head against a rock. So like that’s what I’m feeling.

Also think we’re gonna loose this immunity which I’ve hardly done anything for. So go me.

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Just a small update Mitch and I are chatting so that answers that question

"What's going on?" Well I shall tell you Anna Jane exactly what is going on. I need to get back into therapy that's what.

Apparently everyone is stressed about results and then there is me who does not care cause I want bodhi gone cause he legit doesn't talk to me so meh.

ALSO ALISSA FOUND AN IDOL QUEEEN. so we now have an idol between the 3 of us which could come in handy very much later down the road which we love! I have 100% trust in jack and alyssa now, with mo as my number 3 on this tribe. As much as i love tobi personally (hi tobi reading this post season) but like idk something is still off. he hasn't spoken much game to me at the moment so idk where his head is really at..

god help us its results this challenge was hard woo go cyrena!

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we lost by 1 point. oh my god. 1 point. that makes me wanna cry. dear god let this be a simple vote or i will actually start crying

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE ON THE SHITTY TRIBE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THERE SOME SICK SATISFACTION OF ME ALWAYS GOING TO TRIBAL????? FUCK

I am SO pumped! I do feel bad for the people on Cyrena, but where it stands now, them going to tribal I feel is best for my game just relationship-wise for me. Still, I can only hope I am making few bonds over on their end while maintaining the ones I have on my tribe and Tuatha as well. I do really hope Mo at least makes it because he helped me this morning when I was getting bummed about all the winner talk. I'm quite optimistic for right now!

I Wrote Alexis Maxwell But I Erased It

Well we won the challenge (BARELY), a bit annoyed that we submitted before I got another chance to take a crack at the photos. I feel like I could've maybe found 1 or 2 more before we submitted. Granted we'd need to have found either 3 more or beaten Orfeo to the punch if we had wanted the reward.

I think so long as Bodhi doesn't go on Cyrena I'm pretty indifferent about them losing. They're the people I talk to the least relatively. Ideally I'd probably want an Alyssa, or Matt boot, but I have no influence so we'll see what happens.

I'm just trying to be social and relatively unimposing right now. It's Day 8, now's not the time to be doing glaringly bold things.

um so we won wooh but still no 2nd idol im sad i want one. um wanted green tribe to go tribal but blue going again i hope bodhi/jack/alyssa leave cuz they dont talk to me ever um ya thatd be cute or maybe tobi cuz hes a snake but maybe he not a snake this time? my stan list atm is jared > zach = rhys > loris = chloe > everyone else. my unstan list is: sharky jack alyssa mitch <3 um yaa hope i can do sth. chris so good gotta always watch out for him jared asked who i wanted to go to f3 with and i said def not chris and he was like oh i wanted chris in end so like hes def a threat also he likes zach so um that needs to stop real quick.

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I think it should be Bodhi or Tobi to go. Am I gonna say anything? Not right now, no. Will I say something later? No clue it depends. But Bodhi isn’t as active as the others and doesn’t participate all that much. Tobi is semi-active but isn’t great at challenges. I remember him being good at challenges so idk if he’s just distracted or not putting that much energy into this. I think a swap is happening after this potentially but if it ain’t it’s still best to vote out the weakest link. It might be me and I might just be super cocky rn but I don’t think it’s me.

hi! yesterday was a monumental day. I tried to mend my social game with those I hadn’t talked much to, which resulted in me having a lengthy conversation with jack, and making me feel a bit more secure in my tribe/in the event of a swap. the people I don’t talk to keep getting voted out which I’m very much a fan of but that’s probably because they were inactive so that trend might not continue :(. also I lied in my last conf I’m now in an alliance with Chris Jared kori and Bryce? I didn’t expect it but i didn’t feel too close with kori so that should help me solidify something there!! :) I’m thriving. don’t call me ANGEL!

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don’t call me ANGEL! (in case of task challenge :p)

So we won the challenge. Again. It’s really nice to be able to just sit back and relax in the game and watch people struggle but I’m really nervous about it because we’re all so kumbaya on the Oreo tribe that I don’t fully know who I can trust just yet. Another piece of tea is the fact that Alyssa has an idol which is great for me because it shows Alyssa trusts me and I can trust her for the time being. However I’m worried about Alyssa because we keep promising each other merge which tells me she won’t want to go to the end with me just yet so I gotta keep her close and we’ll see how much damage we can do but i think I’m thriving bc I actually know where an idol is compared to last time when I had no clue.

so previously on The Adventures of a F*g, i had a small breakdown about the game. i dont know if true, but bryce informed me of an alliance between kori/jared/bryce/loris/chris, and the last two named are super close allies of mine (the closest on my tribe). they like.. didnt tell me shit about it and idk i guess i just feel excluded and it sucks that im in legit 0 (real) alliances. ive been doing good socially i thought and i dont know but i feel like i really sucked.

meanwhile, i sat down with a bag of salt and vinegar lays chips and talked to myself. why was i doing bad? why was i in 0 alliances? why no one like me?

then it hit me... like boom.

i realized that a typical flaw i had this game was caring too much. i pride myself on my ability to read situations (barring paranoia) and i know myself very well. like, i realized that since i was too concerned with doing good and proving myself, i kind of lost the fun of it all and probably come off as fake or forcible to other people. that isn't authentic.

BUT MY EPIPHANY increased even further. how? i dont know!! my brains so fucking big. i just had to be goofy. yes, i want to do good. i really do. but i played once before in this series and got RU pots and 5th. i know i am capable of being a good player and im content with that, and now that im moving into that mindset where this game wont no longer dictate whether im good or bad, im going to start having fun.

i know this isnt about game really but its like... #selfdiscovery

but ya i just wanted to update yalls on that. i won immunity though so im f18 and probs in swap. woo. finna get fucked. anyway, thank u.

and since i want like attention on this post im going to put tags.

#selfdiscovery #justgirlythings #l4l #follow4follow #gay #faggot #0alliances #disney #anime #weeb #lgbt #survivor #bigbrother #celestial

After we won the face morph challenge, it has been pretty slow. I still have a solid group with me Stephen Z and Jared. Kori and Bryce are close, Jared and I are close, Rhys and Jared are close, and Stephen and I are close. Those are the allegiances I know of right now, but things could change. Lucky for the alliance of 5, they all get to stick together. If there is a swap though, I won't hesitate to flip on bryce/rhys/kori if the opportunity presents itself. I am also kind of worried I am not keeping up socially. I have had a busy week, so my availability is limited, but I try to talk to as many people as I can when I am available. If my predicitons are correct, we should expect a swap soon. I'd love to meet up with Michael, Bodhi, Alyssa, Chloe, Drew, and Mo just to name a few. I feel like I have been able to connect well with everyone except Matt H.

So, as per my last confessional we are at tribal. And I'm conflicted. As said before I have an alliance with jack and Alyssa and they are my main 2 at the moment like love them both. We helped Alyssa find the idol and we now have a vote steal which I found. However I am feeling kinda conflicted over this vote. Jack and Alyssa want to get rid of Tobi but I personally want bodhi gone. He doesn't talk to me like at all and like he's not the best at challenges. I wanna keep Tobi as well for like a laugh because I genuinely love him. We all agreed to keep mo thank god but still, a lil conflicted. AGH. I have found a vote steal tho woo. I'm not going to be happy but I'll swallow my pride and just go with the alliance, because I'm not out here trying to make waves and be unloyal at the moment. That's for later LOL

I think there is a relatively high chance that i'm going home here, considering its 1 and a half hours till tribal and people "still haven't heard anything" so i'm assuming that i'm getting the chop here which sucks... I tried pretty hard considering i've been pretty busy and like they're not giving me much to work with here and it feels like im trying to break through a wall. I'm trying to get the target on bodhi but no one is fucking online to even try to talk to about it so i'm at a lost for what to do here... I want to stay but i just don't know how to do that when no one is talking to me... i could just be extremely paranoid and i sound delusional right now but idk something feels off here... its so annoying when I enjoy talking to other tribes more than my own NNNN like i really wish things were different but they're not so i'm just gonna try my best and see what happens

Woo we win again. Im trying to step up socially with my tribe, although who knows how long it's gonna matter bc we're prob swapping tonight. Apparently people were saying mo's name, let's pray it doesn't happen bc he's a good fucking kid.

Well it's been a slow couple of days for me. In game I can't really speak much to anything that may have happened. I feel like Tuatha has had a bit of a kumbaya casual flow going on. Which isn't necessarily bad but it makes it hard for me to know how I'm really doing.

Tobi was messaging me worried it might be him, which admittedly wouldn't be the worst thing given how we ended our last game. I was kindof an ass which I kindof leaned into after essentially throwing that game, but I still wish I'd found a way to end things better with him. While there are others I'd rather see go, his boot is one I can probably accept.

If it isn't him then oof who knows then. So long as it isn't Bodhi from that tribe. Overall I'm feeling ok, but I don't want to get complacent, it's just so early that I really don't know what to make of things. One world still isn't really helping since I'm still struggling to try and make conversation with EVERYONE. I really should consider just narrowing it down to some instead of all.

I’m sure hoping this works out for me if there is a tribe swap like a suspect, I think I’ve built some strong enough connections but without going to tribal it’s just not possible for me to be 100%

I've never been on a tribe with a winning streak I feel like I'm in the upside down hahaha. I'm having a great time and getting to know everybody and not having the stress of tribal is great. Sucks for the other tribes OOP

Nothing much is happening! I am still set up perfectly on my tribe and Bodhi has informed me that either Mo or Matt might be going. That was at the beginning of the round so it could really be anyone. I just hope it isn't Bodhi Alyssa or Mo.

Ok this past round was ok. I just kind of let us lose immunity and then we voted out Tobi. I didn’t want to vote out Tobi but that fucker voted for me so I don’t really care at all fuck him.

So not very much has changed on Tuatha as far as I can tell. My tribe winning the immunity challenge has helped me delay any confrontation between my 2 alliances which is great, as it should theoretically allow me to maintain relationships with all 6 members of the tribe. Still, it's going to keep being important to win immunity or pray for a swap in order to keep these groups from clashing.

Jared and Rhys are still a ? for me. I don't know why/how Rhys was able to convince Kori to invite Jared to the alliance of 5 instead of Mitch, and it worries me that those 2 may have a stronger bond than I immediately suspected. Hopefully I'll have an opportunity to deal with that when the time comes.

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Tobi is voted out 5-1. We swap!

#episode #shinebright

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makotokyoqoku-archived · 5 years

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i mean,, i never said they were oppressed asjaljdkdjsl. maybe they don't deserve human rights rn but in the future, definitely. androids will become more normal and integrated into society and robot rights will become a concern. androids have already begun to express thoughts that haven't been "fed" or programmed into them. as tecnology advances, more and more robotic parts will be made by other robots until you get a new "generation" of robots making and fixing themselves, without humans.

thats basically the entire plot of blade runner cksnkcmsf but i gotta say that i agree with you on this; that people will one day advocate for robots' rights.

the thing is: for me, even if robots did gain sentience & independent beyond their programming, saying that they are people is a very flawed logic because then thatd make animals, also sentient and have independent thoughts, people as well... when they really arent. even if robots were made by other androids, saying that they are people is just... honestly stupid. they are robots—they are made of electrical circuits and a huge amount of data & programming. a robot cant be a person, imho.

but i get what youre saying though, its just that my point is a robot is a robot, just because it could be sentient doesnt mean its a person.

#asks #anonymous #time to philosophize about robots i suppose

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gothjjk · 7 years

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how are you dealing with jjong passing away are you doing alright? 😥💗

ty for your concern!! i am doing better than when i first heard about it but im still not 100% okay, nd dont think i’ll ever be, i hope ur doing ok tho !!!! 💕

also u can ignore whats under the keep reading part i just need a place to write about how ive been dealing with it all just so that i can keep it somewhere for myself its boring nd long nd not worth reading

i remember opening tumblr after coming home from work and seeing a few sad posts/edits about shinee but i was scrolling pretty fast nd not reading through posts properly and the first thought i had was that shinee had disbanded (which, looking back, i now hope that was actually the case instead of what happened) so i clicked on a mutuals blog to find out what the fuss was about and i saw an ask saying what happened? and they answered that jonghyun passed away and i. didnt believe it i didnt want to believe it it hadnt been confirmed yet by sm at that time so i was like okay this is fake he is alive and safe but after a few minutes the news about him passing away turned out to be true yet i still didnt fully believe it i started crying so hard i was hyperventilating and all i didnt know what to do i dont think i even remember what i did after that i was just full on in a hysteric crying mode i went through tumblr some more hoping thatd help calm me down but seeing all those posts about him talking about how he’s gone made it all worse i just closed my laptop turned off all the lights and started listening to all the shinee songs on my phone and every time i heard jjong’s voice my tears woudlnt stop coming i think i cried for two hours more after that and stopped, i didnt eat dinner i had no appetite at all my head felt like it was going to burst and i actually really wanted to kill myself i didnt want to be alive any more i didnt want to live when he wasnt either it was a really bad night for mei just took some sleeping pills and hoped for the best. the next morning that i woke up my eyes were so fucking swollen i looked so bad had the worst headache and had to go to work which i was looking forward to a bit cuz i thought it would take my mind off of this all especially since i had to work for 8 hours three days straight and i gotta say working did help distract me even though i was feeling dead inside it did help a bit to not actively think about him and destroy myself even more i also had to work at the asscrack of dawn and i could still see the stars when i was walking to work i started tearing up staring at them thinking about jjong again i will think of him every time i look up at the nightsky now. that day i also couldnt listen to any shinee songs anymore when tell me what to do came on shuffle i got so fucking mad even though thats my favourite song of theirs i skipped it and put on another song i really could not deal with it its a wonder i didnt burst out crying at work tbh i also had the worst migraines this whole week and felt sick and nauseous all the time this really took its toll on me i’m exhausted. i also took a break from tumblr, actually i was tempted to delete my acc since i couldnt get myself to think i would ever be able to post happy things again but idk, anyways that didnt help immensely i think tiring myself out by working a lot helped i also saw my friend whom i hadnt seen in like 2 months today we hung out and chilled and it was rlly nice being with him so that distracted me as well also i started istening to jjong’s songs and his voice has been very healing and soothing i feel like he’s still here with us i think i still dont want to believe that he’s actually gone like when i watch videos and see him have fun in them or when i see pictures of him or when i hear his voice and laugh it really doesnt sink in that he’s not here anymore when i can experience his presence like that i dont think he will ever fully be gone from this world he still lives on especially in all of our hearts and i think coming to terms with that is important this is also the first time that someone i love passed away so i didnt know how to deal with it at all especially since i love jjong so fucking much he was and still is so important to me i wanna thank him for everything that he has done i still feel bad knwoing that he had to suffer and that i couldnt do anything for him but i think just as we dont want him to suffer he doesnt want us to suffer as well so as hard as it may be we should live our lives in thebest way we can and show him how much he meant to us i willnever forget about him and my heart will always feel heavy because of what happened but i think the love i have for him is stronger than the sadness i feel and thats realy important or maybe i’m just bullshitting but thats okay too i think if i killed myself here right now he wouldnt have wanted that not that he knows me or cares about me specifically or anything but im sure he didnt want to cause this much sadness and hurt and as much as i would like tp say that he’s happy now and that he’s watching over us in heaven i dont believe in the afterlife so i wont say that but i do believe that he’s watching over us his energy is still present in the world and i do like that thought hes still here with us he still loves us and we still love him so jjong, i thank you, i miss you and i love you from the bottom of my heart.

#suicide mention #asks

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isaacathom · 7 years

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im figuring for most of the game Rhia ONLY refers to Jun as ‘my uncle’ - she doesnt refer to him by name. you can figure out that she means Jun through his own dialogue and through interactions with Lyndelle, who Rhia says is her cousin. and Lyndelle speaks quite openly about her father and how much she aspires to be just like him, and how much he inspires Rhia, too. so when you eventually meet Jun in relation to Team bullshit, and he’s friendly and kind, you go ‘ooohhhhh thats her uncle, right’.

the main reason she does it is because shes paranoid about accidentally incriminating him. when shes berating Elliot for leaving her behind, and describing in detail what occured after she left, she’s fully aware that if she says his name, and then FAILS to stop Elliot and the player (and Zeke, iirc) from leaving, they might report his connections. its a VERY weak defence, admittedly, given how easy it is to work out who she’s referring to. but theres also the fact that shes NOT related to him. and Elliot, knowing this fact (knowing that she’s Seren, and that her entire family live in Johto and didn’t take her ‘home’), would be unable to connect that dot. Being that he is obsessed with Seren, rather than Rhia. the player knows she means Jun, but the player has also actually met Jun - which Rhia doesn’t know. But they’ve met, and they know that Jun isn’t enthusiastic about Team shit, and only works with them because he is blackmailed and wants to protect his family.

so. yknow. if she just says ‘her uncle’, theres room for interpretation. its vague enough. plus, if you actually go to HER records, the records of Rhia Stanton, you will not find Jun Zhang anywhere. he’s her step uncle. instead you will find Patrick’s family, and the family of her ‘mother’. who i think, for shits and gigs, dont have any brothers. that’d be funny. someone investigating Rhia’s ‘uncle’ claims would actually have to look a long way into her records to find a man who could match that description. ofc in reality they’d just ask Jun because that’s her home address now but like, yknow. they share no blood, both in general and as far as her legal records are concerned. so. yknow. someone trying to be covert and investigate Rhia would have to put a lot of extra effort to find this info.

idk i think itd be fun if Rhia’s going on her long tirade explaining the time between her being assaulted and Jun finding her and speaking in these vague terms. not in any overt hilarious way, i just think itd be cool for her to do. then, of course, once shits all cleared, he’s just Jun. well, ok, she alternates, because she does feel a genuine familial attachment to Jun and Bronwyn and Lyndelle, and terms like ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ and ‘cousin’ are vague enough that it can describe how she feels while not NECESSARILY necessitating blood ties. its a cute thing. initially it was part of her cover story, calling them auntie and uncle (and then mostly just calling Lyndelle by name), but at one point Rhia would’ve just slipped and called Jun ‘uncle’ in private and honestly it probably made him cry. and shes fretting and apologising and saying ‘fuck fuck i meant Jun sorry’ and hes all ‘no no its fine.... you can call me uncle if you want.’ and shes like ‘wait, really?????’ ‘absolutely, Rhia. if you want to!’ and she cries too. Bronwyn comes downstairs to find them hugging and crying and shes just ‘did i walk in on something?? do you want me to give you a minute’ and they both laugh reallyyyy awkwardly and theres a silence, before Rhia goes ‘heyyyyyy uuhhhhhh i had a question..... am i allowed to call you auntie????’ and bronwyns very confused about what exactly brought this on, looks at Jun, looks back at Rhia, back at Jun, and it clicks and she goes ‘oooooohhhhhhhhhhh. oooohhhh. you mean actually?’ and rhia nods and bronwyn goes ‘well, you do already, dont you? why not! :)’ and its just a big fun time.

then lyndelle also walks in and is INCREDIBLY confused. what the fuck is happening. why is everyoe laughing and crying and hugging and shit. did something happen???????? it is an incredily weird time.

uhhhhh point is she means it sincerely but not in a blood tie way and its also juuuuuuussssttt vague enough that she doesnt give anything away when shes trying to keep shit secret. of course, if pressed in a normal situation, she’d tell you exactly who ‘uncle’ is, the talented Dr Jun Zhang, but in any remotely crime-y shit, you wont get a peep.

so i guess she just always calls him uncle? maybe after the whole team/org blows over, she switches to ‘Uncle Jun’, rather than just uncle? that’d be kinda cute.

im not sure exactly when shed start sincerely calling then family, though. she has like 8 years to figure that out. it certainly wasnt in the first year or so - she was still mixed in that time. at some point, certainly.

the same sort of terms follow for Jun and Bronwyn too. Bronwyn probably took a little longer - mostly because she had slightly less history with Rhia than Jun did - but both of them feel very close to her and refer to her as their niece on a few occasions. Jun especially. mostly because meeting Jun is actually required for story progression, so IF he mentioned his family at all, itd be in vague terms. because just like Rhia, he really doesnt want to tie them into his business. he hates this business, why would he want them connected? so its just ‘my niece’ not ‘my niece, rhia, that cop whose been sorta bothering you the whole game’. YOU know, obviously, the player knows thats probably whats happening. which is probably also the point where you should be going ‘hang on......... her uncles in the evil team??? does she know???’ and it should cause people to think twice. ideally between meeting Jun in a team context and the tower sequence the player should see her again - presumably to insert the whole Seren thing which ive technically retconned out of existence but still needs to occur i guesssss - and she should seem especially suss in that instance. in fact, yea, having that be the point where she asks you to ask elliot about Seren makes sense, and should look INCREDIBLY shifty. like, whyyy cant she just ask him herself? why do you have to do it? what does that mean? theres probably been minor hints about it throughout the game, and there IS a cemetery why you can find graves for both her parents AND a grave for Seren with only her DOB and an end year. and Zeke probably actually knows about it, even if he didnt know Seren personally (given the age difference - he’s older than the player but younger than Rhia, being that he is like.... 17??? which is 6 years younger than her and anywhere from 2-5 older than you. idk. there would be minor info sprinkled about Seren throughout the game, to the point where the player COULD fill in the blanks about what the fuck is happening themselves. to a point, anyway. like, hmm.... so Seren was Elliot’s charge, and vanished, and now this girl who is roughly how old she’d be now is asking me to ask Elliot about her...... hmmmm. and the player might click it. the details, about how he abandoned her, come out only from Rhia herself in her tirade against Elliot. what Elliot tells you is slightly different. ooh, thats a bit, actually.

how Rhia recounts the events and how Elliot does is vastly different. mostly because they drastically diverge at a point, but also in terms of what they recount in that similar lead up. Rhia talks about how shifty the plan was, how he made her wait while he spoke to the gym leaders before coming to get her, how they were on their own despite the other groups being fairly large and proportionally uneven, how she ended up leading the way down the corridor (of her own arrogance, but her point is that He didnt stop her). Elliot talks about her boundless enthusiasm to take part, her insistence, his concern that he’d end up disappointing her if the gym leaders found out and subsequently stopped her. and the specific ‘incident’ bit, the description is different too. Elliot doesn’t really go into specifics. its just ‘there were..... complications. i had no choice but to flee’. Rhia instead describes in details how they were grabbed from behind when the corridor opened up abruptly, how the grunts jeered them and held hands over their mouths, how she kicked one of the grunts in the arm so they let Elliot go, how Elliot hesitated for JUST a moment before bolting, silently, down the corridor. that silence is a big part of it, too. Elliot will say to you that he tried to find help, which is true (to a point), but Rhia’s statement makes that seem strange. if he ran silently, how much did he want help? whether he DID actually leave without crying out at all is..... unclear. neither account of events is wholly accurate. the commonalities are true, but the minor parts are based on interpretation. in fact, the ONLY people perhaps equipped to offer an objective view on what happened in the confrontation are the Grunts, who could talk about how Seren crossed the threshold first with a pokeball in hand, and how Elliot passed closely behind without, and how Barny got kicked in the hand and probably later in the face by the flailing Seren, how Smokes followed Elliot down the hall and saw him completely leave the premises, how Tiny Fae later told Jun about Seren. that sorta shit. those are random names i dont even know what the fuck those mean.

i think thatd be a very neat difference. just to emphasise how they both feel about it. how Rhia would highlight the choices available to Elliot (and technically herself, but trust me, that isnt her idea) and how Elliot would highlight how inevitable he felt his choices were, or how he didnt have them.if it isnt obvious i probably agree with Rhia more, though shes a lot less blameless than she makes it out and there is probably more actual manipulation of information in her recounting over Elliots. like yea, both are manipulated to elicit a specific response (sympathy for both, and anger at Elliot in Rhia’s case). but since Rhia is making a point when she’s telling her version, she’s likely slightly twisted parts of it. the emotional impact of the event isnt changed, but some of the physical elements are likely emphasised to make Elliot feel reaaallllllll fucking guilty. like ‘you thought i was dead, but i lived! but in agonising pain for a while and there have been permanent physical and mental repercussions for your actions, asshole!’ what fun! :)

#story blogging #codename seren #long post #lol i got.... very carried away...... i love rhia and elliots whole conflict its my fucking shit

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