#though—insomniac
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my brain go brrr I think of him a lot
#help my spiderman hyperfixation is coming back#also I got used to the new face cause cmon it's been like 3 years#even though I still miss the old one#he's still the little dorky man#spiderman#spiderman ps5#insomniac spider man#insomniac games#spider man 2 ps5#spiderman 2#peter parker#character design#character art#artwork#fan art#digital illustration
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Random thought. Doai would fuck so hard in the gaslight district art style
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lale life update:
i've been sick as a dog. still am, but today is the first day in a week where the screen doesn't hurt my eyes when looking at it for longer than three minutes. my screen time has an all time low and i don't wanna think about how good that makes me feel
might or might not have broken a rib when i fainted on my way to the bathroom at night (bad)
didn't break anything else (good)
anxiety is at an all time high because of that incident (bad bad)
realized the tools i learned in therapy are actually helping because despite it all i'm still more stable than throughout my entire 20s (good good)
the green lesbians kiss has been carrying me through the entire week. one of those "i'm so glad i didn't kms" moments
Rafayel has surpassed Sylus in affinity levels (96 to 95) and idk how to feel about that. i need to throttle him i think
unblocked Ateez on all platforms now that i'm not ovulating anymore. we'll talk again in two weeks
not on hiatus but also not not on hiatus but secret third thing (playing alone in a corner in an attempt to find my whimsy again)
i fever dreamed another ending of Soft Launch and might rewrite the drafts of the remaining chapters from scratch. idk. toaster bath also sounds really nice
i have a lot more to say but i'll be saving this for another day. thinking about everyone fondly. if you want tell me something about life lately <3
#ok back to napping for 16h now#insomniac except when i'm sick apparently. my body only knows two extremes lol#also infold needs to give me a damn award... didn't miss any of my dailies even when running a 39.5C fever#though i did purchase a caleb outfit i have NO memory of (but i appreciate it) (it's the shirtless one with the robotic arm)#-`♡´- tulip mail
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I love the trope of brothers who hate eachother SO MUCH
This doodle was inspired by Asylum In Nemesis, this incomplete fic by @grape-of-agayte that had an AMAZING interaction between simon and lankmann, ESPECIALLY when Simon reluctantly agrees with Lankmann to stop Clyde or something idk. I also loved how Lankmann convinces Simon through guilt tripping (???) lemme bring an excerpt.
“You’re just going to stand by while all these good people drop like flies? Do you genuinely value your own pride THAT much more than you value the lives of others, Simon? Hoho… That’s quite unlike you…”
OOUUGHHHHHHH THATS AMAZUNG
Anyways sorry for yapping I’m back to regular scheduled posting
I like to imagine they fight over mundane shit
#pastraspec#dreams of an insomniac#doai simon#doai lankmann#brothers who hate eachother#is a trope#that I love so much#because it’s funny as hell#aaaaaaa#soeey for the tag grape#read asylum in nemesis#even though it isn’t complete#Simon is my babygirl#sorry for yapping#lol#not sorry
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Controversial Silmpost time
I don't blame Elwing for not returning the Silmaril. She was really nothing more than a child. I also can't really blame Dior for the same reason (though he is more complicated, because if he was a mannish child and not half-elven because of Luthien's Choice, he was fully grown at 34). But Thingol and Luthien? Oh yes. Yes, I blame them.
They knew damn well what would happen eventually, Luthien even experienced the Fëanorians at their worst 1st hand, almost getting forced into a marriage all for the sake of the Silmarils. She knew that they'd do ANYTHING, even to their own friend and cousin, because she saw it. They even tried to kill her and Beren. They knew the story of Alqualondë. They knew. But they willingly kept that thing around their family, their *children* even knowing full well that it would likely be the death of them. Heck, Luthien, and Beren aged and died prematurely because of the presence of that thing, and she yet still gave it to her young son with small children while knowing that the Girdle was gone.
Of course, the Fëanorians had no right to do what they did, that goes without saying. But Thingol, Luthien, and Beren really should have known better. Anti-Fëanorian or Anti-Sindar, there is simply no denying that the Elders of the royal line of Doriath played a huge role in the decimation of the kingdom and Sirion later.
They are certainly not blameless in the whole thing. It's more like a 75% vs 25% thing rather than 50/50, but certainly not negligible enough to be glossed over or ignored.
In the end, my question is just... If you know that a fire will eventually kill you if you don't turn off the stove, despite it having been very difficult to light it, why would you deliberately leave it on, even if the fire warned you multiple times that you should turn it off?
#the silmarillion#jrr tolkien#tolkien#silmarillion#doriath#sindar#feanorians#noldor#2nd kinslaying#sirion#3rd kinslaying#controversial silm post time#i guess in the end it was just greed again#but tolkien would rather snort ants than admit luthien had flaws lol#not just greed ofc#a whole lotta pride as well#thingol#luthien#dior#elwing#though i get why Elrond might be mad at Elwing for choosing to jump#while also understanding that she was in way over her head#in a situation her (great)grand folks should've avoided#but she still did choose a rock over finding her children#and I guess then the circumstances will not really soften that blow when you're 6#but in his adulthood he definitely forgave her 100%#but then he looks at his own kids and just... he'll never understand#not fully#incoherent thoughts of an insomniac#don't send me death threats for this teenage sinda stans istg
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Credit to the artist: Rawmune
#but the color pink#doesn't wash away sin#and rosaries#don't make you any less scared#of God#religious trauma#religious ocd#sleepless#insomniac#panic disorder#i searched everywhere#to find the original poet to this work#credit to the artist: rawmune on insta!#amazingly talented#just stunning work#really painful though#isn't it?#pink line art#pink aesthetic#just a girl#just girly things
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I was going to write a whole paragraph explaining how I think that Alex was a medical first responder trainee who’s academy put them on mandatory leave because their anxiety was so bad and thats when the foundation approached them to work there because they had the qualifications (even if they were somewhat inexperienced) and they were in a vulnerable position and that the Lankmann foundation mostly targets young medical school dropouts because no reasonable doctor or medical professional would ever even approach that foundation due to their weird habits and that they could more easily keep said dropouts quiet about their shady practices because they���re young somewhat impressionable college students who need jobs. But then i realized I might be over analyzing.
#i was kinda making this up as I went along#im proud of it though#i love over analyzing my hyperfixations!!!!#doai#dreams of an insomniac
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peter making the holographic trainings as a way to enhance miles’ spider skills work through his issues with his geriatric supervillains
#leave him be he can’t afford therapy#he gets back from symkaria and he’s like hey miles i’m cooking up a couple more fighting sims for you#miles is like really?? wasn’t vulture the big finale?#peter (still stewing over doc ock and has already perfected a monologue for fake ock): …no#don’t get him started on scorpion 🤕#he’s eerily good at a mac impression though#peter parker#miles morales#miles morales ps5#insomniac spider-man#spider man
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You can't convince me these two weren't gay for Peter
#I MEAN IM NOT THE ONLY ONE RIGHT??🏳️🌈#I thought it was kinda cute though#harry osborn#ultimate spider man#insomniac spiderman#spider man 2 ps5#marvel
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if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently
#anti rtd#oomfs ur so right#s14 is the kinda mid that people think his era was#and yet#you throw in that razzle dazzle written by rtd and all of a sudden there's no criticisms!#or worse somehow#is how its a polite and gentle reframing of chibs criticism#like with him it was hey he ate this singular one thing But I KNOW CHIBS IS BAD HE'S TERRIBLE DONT WORRY I KNOW IT#and with rtd its oh i disliked this nonsensical and objectively bad writing but ummm guys i lOVED LOVED everything else i swear#its soooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO#it must be studied#but i knew yous were a lost cause when we had 14/15 running around calling men hot bc yes totally something the doctor just does#not ooc at allllll#bc this is how we know the doctor is queer now guys#dont you know it#i have like a million other complaints i miss being like oh hey that was mid/bad and moved on with my life 😭😭#god i think 13 era killed me bc now i do care about u hypocritical losers#rip 15ruby i wish i cared and that you had any development#ncuti millie i would like to hang out with you though#15 maybe you'll cry less next season so that the emotional scenes have impact perhaps 🙏🏾🙏🏾#ramblings of an insomniac#god i just remembered the whole real mum antics#fuck i need to go i gotta go!!!!#ps the ncuti conundrum where he's the most charismatic dr in nuwho whilst also being the worst actor is driving me nuts#idk if its the characterisation or his lack of ability in creating that inner psychology that connective tissue between his louder acting#which he's great at btw!#idk maybe that one monologue in boom made me go yes okay here we goooo#but then every other moment has been like hmmmnnnmtgodhd okay whateve#i think he needed more acting prep before he got this role bc he's got Something he could be Great but the subtle stuff is lacking#sooo hoping he can grow into that but it's giving perfect actor wrong time.... and if ur white ur not allowed to agree with me shush go away
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I know I’ve said Mike has accidentally almost eaten Jeremy because of the remnant hunger, but honestly I do also like to think he lingers on the idea of eating him even when he’s completely lucid
#He feels guilty about it though#cannibalism as a metaphor for something#fnaf#fnaf au#michael afton#jeremy fitzgerald#jeremike#sleepwalking insomniac#shitpost#tw cannibalism
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mom says it’s my turn on the writing
Idea came from @silverstudios
The exhaustion has returned, as it always did this time of year. The snow outside the window signaled that it was time for it to hibernate. But it couldn’t bring itself to go back to the nest. It was too big for just it. It would bring back to many painful memories of it’s last hibernation.
Back when it still had Winfrey.
It didn’t know where else to go to hibernate besides it’s nest, it couldn’t think of anywhere else it felt safe. Besides, well-
No, it would not stay at the human’s house to hibernate. They would turn it into the asylum the second its guard was down. It would not get lured into such an easy trap.
It wouldn’t. It,
It needed a place to sleep, and the human was the closest thing it had to a safe place, but it would not.
It would not,
It would….
……..
It did.
Curled up into Alex’s bedroom closet, it padded the nest of extra blankets and pillows it had made from it could fine inside. It curled around in circles, preparing to finally hibernate for the winte-
“What are you doing?” It looked up sleepily at the human, standing in the open closet. “Preparing to hibernate” it said, struggling to keep its eyes open “why?”
Alex raised an eyebrow in confusion “Velidgun hibernate?” They asked. Clyde rolled its eyes “yeah, most of the winter.” Alex looked over to the side, “and you’re staying, here?”
Clyde turned over to the side. “I can’t go back to the nest” it stated simply. “Why?” The human asked. Clyde shivered, it couldn’t tell them about Winfey, couldn’t tell them anything.
At least not yet
“None of your business” it stated, and it could see Alex’s flinch in its mind. They were still kind of scared of it. Good. It wouldn’t need them for much longer.
“Okay” they replied, then turned to shut the door. They paused, and turned back to the veldigun. “Tell me if you need anything”
They shut the door. Clyde rolled its eyes.
It didn’t need anything
It didn’t need anyone
It needed to stop lying to itself
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Alex had been avoiding their closet like the plague, aware of the sleeping demon inside. They had been trying to live life around the velidgun in their house, but Clyde had somehow become some sort of staple in Alex’s life.
So, they did something weird.
Not as stupid as the first time they had left out a sandwich for Clyde, just sort of odd. It had seen how much Clyde had adored Halloween, and they had seen it squirming around in its sleep, so they had dug up an old bat plushie they had as a kid. They opened the closet and placed the plushie into Clyde’s makeshift nest, then turned to leave.
Only for Clyde to grab them and pull them in.
Alex panicked, only the breath a sigh of relief when they realized they were still in their coat and winter gloves. Their bones wouldn’t be fusing with their flesh from this. They looked over at Clyde, the sleeping veldigun’s face still as the sea, arms wrapped around them in a hug. Alex was confused, but went along with it for now.
They could rest for a bit.
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two more left
new connection
faint, but there
drown the soul in void
An experiment
could it drown this mind in madness
w̵͇͙̤̄͆͑h̷͚́͝a̵͓͚̋t̴̬͉̞́́̾ ̶̘̽̒͠à̶̹̰̤r̶̫̂͆͂ẹ̸͎́̓͌͜ ̷̻́̇̕ỳ̵͉͑̽o̸̝̠̤̕͠͠ȕ̵͔͚ ̶̪͇̦̒̃̈d̴͔͓̩͐ǒ̷͚͙͘î̸͎͔́ṉ̶̬͑̀g̵͉͑̇ ̴̙͓̐̀f̴̺̭̄͋͝ǐ̴͖͎͆ṟ̷̛̉͑s̸̬̙̣͗́͝t̶̺̩̙͌̓?̵̘͊͐̋
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Clyde woke with a start. It blinked a few times to chase the sleep away from its eyes.
It’s always had the weirdest hibernation dreams.
Six it was starving, it always was when it woke up from hibernation. It saw something out of the corner of its eye, and it turned to open the closet door.
Sure enough, there was a sandwich there. Peanut butter and jelly, it’s favorite. It yawned and stretched, and went to go take a bite.
Maybe staying with the human for hibernation wasn’t so bad
#dreams of an insomniac#doai#doai sitcom au#clyde doai#doai clyde#doai alex williams#alex williams doai#Doai six#i like to this that since Clyde was the first velidgun six created#(Again just a headcannon)#It’s six’s favorite#So it gets brief connection to it in it’s dreams#Only in incredibly deep sleep though#Like in hibernation#If you’re wondering Simon’s the least favorite child
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In all the iterations of Spider-Man I’ve seen (Tobey Maguire’s, Andrew Garfield’s, Tom Holland’s, Insomniac) they always call Aunt May their Aunt but why don’t they ever call her mom? She practically raised them you’d think at some point there would be a switch. Maybe I’ll write a fanfic about this…
#peter parker mcu#mcu peter parker#insomniac peter parker#peter parker#tobey maguire#andrew garfield#tom holland spiderman#tom holland#andrew garfield spiderman#tobey maguire spider man#insomniac games#insomniac spiderman#aunt may#mama may#there’s plenty of fics out there where Peter calls Tony dad even though he’s known him for a substantially shorter amount of time#but I’ve yet to see one where he calls May mom#and I think she’s more then earned it#may parker#the woman you are
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saw people talking about afo having heavy eye bags due to his lack of sleep from the nightmares from his quirks and I like it.
I think he would have them covered up with either a quirk or some make up as to not make himself look weak to his enemies as it'll make his lack of sleep obvious and also for vanity reasons.
having yoichi near him while he sleeps helps as he would hold his wrist similar to how he held his wrist when they were babies as they lay next to each other and it would comfort him (thank you kstbj for this hc), I would say he gets an average of 6 hours when he can sleep at this time. not in a row he wakes up often during the night.
after yoichi died he would hold his severed hand as he slept and pretend the real yoichi was there next to him to help him sleep or else he would only be able to sleep when he felt on the verge of passing out from exhaustion. he still gets far less sleep after yoichi died than before, about 3 hours on average. I do imagine during the time when yoichi left til where he realized a part of yoichi was still around he would get no sleep for days at a time. the nightmares of yoichi falling to pieces combined with the regular nightmares would make him force himself to be awake and then hallucinations ensue from the sleep deprivation....
#not a fun time for him#fully convinced if yoichi's body had been left whole when he died he would sleep next to his corpse 😶#preserved of course he can't have it rotting#I like the idea of him using a glamour quirk that hides his eye bags so when he lets it down bc drains some stamina it takes you by-#surprise how exhausted he looks without it#he wouldn't just let anyone see him like that though I think doc and machia saw him like that and grew concerned for him...#ujiko particularly would get after him to sleep better as it's terrible for his physical and mental well-being to be so sleep deprived#and then proceed to attempt to come up with something to help him#he would use quirks to keep himself awake as much as possible sleeping isn't his favorite activity most days#insomniac a41 who is reluctant to fall asleep.... he's like me @_@
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Can you tell that I'm fixating yet? I drew these last night while I heavily medicated on my sleep aid lmao
Bottom doodle is directed at my friends (and even my mother) who have had to listen to me talk about Dreams of an Insomniac on repeat for the past week or so
#I will walk out into the living room and go “Hey mom I love you hey here's so more things I learned today-”#she always listens even though she is so very confused#her favorite is winfrey though#so i consider it a win#art#ghost draws#artists on tumblr#doai fanart#doai clyde#doai#dreams of an insomniac#pastraart#pastraspec#pastra
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I'm of the belief that Gortash is incredibly good at pretending to be asleep.
Like, if you'd see it, you're 100% convinced. Maybe even concerned he's not asleep but dead instead.
I don't know. He just strikes me as that kind of person.
#he definitely didnt just learn that to escape his parents#even the most gruesome sally would leave him alone#as long as he didnt move even if she screamed and cursed#yk this man is insomniac though#laying motionless for hours while plotting smth#then maybe getting a few hours of sleep#bg3#bg3 spoilers#enver gortash#bg3 gortash#lord gortash
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