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Till The Morning

-

Maybe you'll wake up

And no longer long for me.

Maybe you'll draw the blinds,

The sun will spill in,

Over the dust and flaws.

Maybe the way I'm okay at a lot,

And a master at nothing

Will slip below your skin-

Coil around your nerves.

Maybe I don't like saying goodnight

Because people fall out of love.

It happens as naturally as sleeping

Sometimes.

Yet I wake,

And the sunlight floods in

Day after day.

And my first thought

Is your name

I N A L L C A P S.

x

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"But it made you a stranger, And filled you with anger.."

&

"...My heart has changed, And my soul has changed And my heart, And my heart. That my life has changed, That this town had changed And you had not- That the world has changed, Don't you find it strange That you just went ahead and carried on?.." & "..You didn't put those bones in the ground.."

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Purpose

-

How many times must I be reminded

Fire cannot be gentle?

Try as I might,

My flames engulf the innocent.

Reaching out for an embrace

Leaves you burnt.

Leaves me cold.

How dare I try to be anything

Other than violent?

x

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Reminder: learning isn’t supposed to make you feel bad. Sometimes the """right""" way doesn’t work and it’s alright. There is beauty to be found in chaos.

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“Your hand is cold, mine burns like fire. How blind you are, Nastenka!” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

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If I were to kiss you then go to hell, I would. So then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without ever entering it.

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I will never finish falling in love with you

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Grab My Hand

-

Torn from the same cloth,

Suffering in silence.

Where I learned to scream,

You learned the hushed tones.

Where I learned anger,

You learned to swallow it.

Where I am numb,

You are beginning to feel.

Meeting you felt like

Spilling watercolor all over me.

Bleeding hues

I've never experienced.

Fears,

And the way I've always screamed-

But never for somebody,

Never the way I long to,

For you.

You've been strong.

A flower coiled against storms

That would've wiped the land.

Let me shed light

Upon the sins you've sat with,

Let me set the garden on fire.

I'll unearth you with care,

Carry you to safety.

Leaving the thick smoke of once burning flames

That you put out with your laughter,

Like rain.

I know how to fight,

I've fought plenty.

Let me fight for you.

x

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Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits

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i could tell you now

or bite my tongue

until it bleeds

and hide you in between

the lines of my poetry

—i could tell you, 2024

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Jennifer’s Body (2009) dir. Karyn Kusama

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another day of saying things I don't necessarily even agree with

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When We Share The Moon

-

Opposites attract,

They told me.

And I'd click my tongue in disapproval.

Yet I found myself drawn to your darkness,

Entranced by the absence of sunlight,

The kind I seemed to be born of.

Your starlight glitters on my skin,

Like cooling waves against my fire,

And I could drink a glass full of you-

And still find myself dehydrated;

Needing more.

I'm not sure if what they say is true,

Nothing in life is absolute

Or certain,

Except I feel most like myself-

I seem to like myself the most,

When I somehow end up beside you.

x