#three stooges cursed

[suugarbabe]

ballooning around | t.n x reader

warnings: fluff

word count: ~1.9k

a.n.: this is for my wives' @finalgirllx & @thatdammchickennugget jinxed july <3 this is for week one; water balloon prompt

Truly it was a marvel that you were functioning, with as hot as it seemed to be at the villa. Somehow, Theo had convinced all of you to spend two weeks with him in Italy at his parents' very large, very private (and very expensive) villa. You say somehow, but everyone knows that with just the smidgen of widening of his big ocean eyes and you’re a fucking goner, doing anything and everything your boyfriend asks or suggests. 

Pansy and yourself had decided that if you were stuck in the heat then you might as well also get bronze; the two of you choosing to lay out by the pool, oiled and lotioned with giant sunglasses perched on your noses. You two had managed only a mere hour of peace and quiet in the sun before you were bombarded with the shouting and rowdiness of the boys. The slapping of bare feet on concrete became louder and more multiplied until you saw three bodies whip by the two of you to cannonball into the pool. 

Your body tensed, eyes closing as you braced for the feeling of sun warmed water to assault you. But it didn’t come. You peaked an eye open when you heard moans and groans of curses (both english and italian), only to see Theo, Enzo and Mattheo hovering just above the surface of the pool. “There’s not a chance in bloody hell I’m allowing you to drench us in pool water just because you lot act like you’re all eleven again in the heat,” Pansy had her wand leveled, pointed strait at the three culprits in front of you. 

It was impossible to hide the grin on your face, pulling your sunglasses down ever so slightly to make direct eye contact with your boyfriend. “Please, bella, tell your friend to let us have a little fun, yeah?” he was laying his accent on extra thick, he knew it was something that often had you melting on his every word. However the heat had you feeling extra bratty, “Not today, amore mio, it’s too hot. Leave the shenanigans for cooler temps, please.” You turned to your friend beside you, “Let them down, Pans. I wanna go inside for a drink.” 

Pansy shrugged, tugging her wand slightly to break the connection. You didn’t miss the slight gape in Theo’s mouth, his expression that of slightly betrayed, but you thought it was cute that he thought you’d give in so easily. Pansy followed you, twirling her wand between her fingers. “Ladies, looking like you’re plotting something, should I be afraid?” Blaise teased as he and Draco exited the villa, Blaise holding the door for you two to enter. Pansy spoke over her shoulder cheekily, “If you know what’s good for you, I wouldn’t plot with the three stooges in the pool.” 

Blaise wore a smirk as he held his arms up in defense, backing away and towards the pool as he let the door close behind the two of you. Sliding up to the kitchen island you let Pansy work on making the drinks as you took off your sunglasses, pulling your wand from the strap of your bikini top where you had secured it for the walk inside. Pansy quirked a curious eyebrow, “Doing some plotting of your own, babes?” You shook your head as you smiled, “Not necessarily, more like…precautionary measures.” 

You held your sunglasses at arms length, pointing the tip of your wand to one lens, “speculo vicissm.” You did the same to the other lens as Pansy laughed lightly, “A reflection charm? Pray tell, my dear, how are these going to help?” You grab the glass she had just set in front of you and threw a decorative straw in it before taking a large sip, “Fucking, Merlin, Pansy, is there any mixer in here?” Pansy just shrugged her shoulders. You took another smaller sip, “Okay, actually it’s not that bad. Anyway, we know that Theo and the others are probably plotting some childish plan to get us back for your little hover charm earlier.” 

She nodded her head, waving her hand in a circular motion as if to tell you to continue, “So I figured…what better way to see him coming than to have eyes on the back of my head. Or rather, be able to see him behind me…without him knowing.” Pansy tapped the side of her glass with her fingers outstretched, her ring making a clinking sound like a mini applause for you as you put your sunglasses back on. “Oh, that is fucking brilliant. I knew Nott had to have fallen for you for more than just a nice ass-ouch!” Pansy rubbed her arm where you swatted at her, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, your very average ass.” 

You laughed, going to swat at her again but she jumped back, running toward the door leading to the pool. Pansy was giggling as you followed briskly after her, being distracted only by Mattheo calling your name. You walked over hesitantly, eyebrow raised and scanning your surroundings as you approached, “Is this some ploy to help Teddy get back at me, Matt? You know I’ll get you back if it is.” You pointed an accusing finger at the raven haired boy who held his hands up in defense, “I’m clean, swear. Look, no wand. I was just, erm, wondering what you were getting Nott for his birthday this year?” 

Arms crossing you sat into your hip, “Theo’s birthday is not until December…why are you asking about that?” Mattheo started stumbling over his explanation as you saw movement in the reflection charm you put on your sunglasses, “I, erm, just wanted to know because I didn’t want to get the same thing as yo-” Mattheo was cut off by you crouching down, pulling him with you. The snap of elastic led way to a burst of water hitting the fence where Mattheo and you once stood. You raised to full stature, quickly turning around while Mattheo continued to sit behind you only to see Enzo with a weak smile on his face. 

“A water balloon, really? Explain yourself, Berkshire,” your tone took that of an accusing older sister and Enzo became visibly nervous. “T-theo,” Enzo cleared his throat after his voice cracked, “ahem, erm, Theo made me do it.” You turned to face your boyfriend who seemed completely unbothered. He stretched his long, toned body across the pool floaty, feet lazily hanging into the water, “What’s wrong, cara mia? Can you handle the heat, or no?” His accent made the question more taunting then it already was. You shook your head, smirking down at him, “Okay, pretty boy. I know what you’re up to. Good luck trying to get me now.” 

But try Theo did, and fail he did often. After the mishap with Mattheo distracting, or more like attempting to distract you Theo tried three more times to soak you with water balloons. And nearly each time your sunglasses charm came in handy. When you were walking back towards the villa to get you and Pansy another round, you saw Mattheo trying to sneak up behind you, “Don’t even think about it Riddle.” You heard him groan in defeat before throwing the balloon at Enzo instead. 

When you were laying out again with Pansy, he had tried to use a hover charm. Thankfully Pansy sensed that one a mile away, using her own wand to counter his spell and send the balloons chasing Theo until he jumped back into the pool to escape. His third attempt was the lowest one in your opinion, so you’re happy it didn’t work out for him. Theo had called you over, saying he wanted a truce and that “he forgave you for foiling his plans earlier.” He tapped on your bottom lip with his thumb, something he did often when he was wanting a kiss. You wanted to believe him, even began to lean towards him until you saw Draco and Mattheo tip toeing in the reflection. The moment you saw them release the balloons you apparated to the other side of Theo, causing both balloons to hit him in the chest and forehead. 

Theo had let out a slew of curses as your hands set firmly on your hips, “Really, Malfoy, you too? Shouldn’t you be hiding in the shade with how fucking pale you are? You’re brighter than the fucking sun.” Draco scoffed, a scowl gracing his face, “Hey, just because you’re pissed at Nott, don’t take it out on me.” Theo had called a truce then, and for the last thirty minutes you felt like you had finally found peace. So when Blaise called you over to the table, you didn’t find it suspicious whatsoever. That and the fact that you fully trusted him to stay out of the rest of the boy’s childish antics. 

“So how did you manage it?” Blaise asked as you sat down. You tilted your head, “How did I manage what?” Blaise leaned his elbows on the table, hand waving as he spoke, “How did you manage to always know when they were coming? Did you put eyes in the back of your head or something, love?” You laughed lightly, handing your sunglasses over to your friend. Blaise quirked an eyebrow, picking up the sleek shades and twisting them this way and that before finally putting them on himself. He let out a low hum of recognition, smiling as he pointed a finger at you, “A mirror charm, you clever witch.” 

You nodded, leaning back in your chair, “Thank you, much. I’m very proud of that. Although I do feel slightly bad with how many times Theo got pummeled with water balloons today.” Blaise pulled your sunglasses down his nose slightly, peering at you over the lenses, “Don’t feel bad, love. He deserved that. However, I do feel bad, because I don’t think you deserve this, but they roped me into it.” Before you even had a chance to properly process what Blaise had just said, what felt like a water balloon the size of your head burst above you, essentially drenching your entire top half in frigid water. 

Turning around slowly in your chair, a look of shock still etched on your face, you saw your boyfriend standing by the edge of the pool, looking far too proud for his own good. You stood up from the patio chair you were sitting in, your look of shock now exchanged for one of determination, “Oh, you are dead meat, Theodore.” You started running after him, Theo only giggling before running away and around the pool. Enzo took your earlier seat next to Blaise, mouth half full of licorice as he spoke, “M’money’s on Theo, his legs are longer and he’s far quicker. Ten galleons he laps the pool and catches her first.” Blaise shook his head, “Nuh uh, no chance. Our little witch is gonna get him and then they’re both gonna end up in the pool.” 

Not as soon as Blaise finished his sentence did you grab hold of Theo’s shoulder, a small yelp from him heard before you both hit the water; Blaise simply smirked at Enzo, holding his hand palm up and waited for his winnings.

[greycaelum]

Kaleidoscope Series—Clouds and Mochi Chapters: { Salve }

—Gojo Satoru X Wife Reader

𑁍 Genre: fluff, small mishap in the kitchen

𑁍 WC/CW/TW: (1.6k)—/ finger cut from a knife, caution: hot oven, discussion on cursed techniques—/

𑁍 A/N: I'm very busy with life before college starts so, here's a little piece for everyone while I'm out sorting my stuffs

It's one of those weekends when you are ready to clean a chaotic kitchen after a good time baking some sweets with the family. A small recreational afternoon after a tiring week for everyone to unwind and just have fun as a family.

Saika seems to have inherited her father's addiction to sweet things and you are really worried for her health. After all, even if you forbid sweets in this house their Papa will always find a way to sneak some for the kids.

Kouki on the other hand would eat anything his Papa gives him. You're not sure if you should be thankful your son isn't a picky eater. It seems like his stomach would accept anything that classifies as food.

It's hard not to watch the three of them all huddled up on the counter wearing the same kitty apron. Their fluffy white manes are like those pretty cats you see in tv shows. Satoru is leaning on the counter with his hair down and sunglasses. The two munchkins are sitting on the counter wearing a chef's hat and reading the recipe.

They look so cute~ so perfec—

"2 cups of sugarrrr~"

Satoru sang and dumped 4 cups of sugar into the cookie batter.

Actually no, they're a disaster.

"Sa.To.Ru."

He looked up to you and grinned.

"Aweee c'mon Honey, it won't hurt just to be extra extra sure it's sweetttttt! Cookies are supposed to be sweet, right kids?!"

"Right!!!" The two stooges of their Papa chorused.

"Baking needs to be measured, okay? It's not gonna come out right if you don't measure it correc—"

Satoru put a finger on your lips and shushed you making the kids giggle while you glared at your husband who winked at you and gave your pursed lips a small kiss of bribery.

"I got this. You just sit there and relax, okay?"

You're left with not so many choices but to watch the kids adjust the recipe to whatever Satoru tells them.

This isn't gonna be good... Maybe you should make a batch of your own and just let them play on whatever devil spawn of a cookie they end up making.

Satoru preheated the oven while the kids cut the cookies in shape cutters custom-made just for today's fun. It includes Panda, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, Yuta, Maki, Toge, and even Todo miniature figures.

For some reason, Kouki likes hanging out with his Aoi-nii. Todo can actually be very chill with kids.

Satoru finally popped their cookie tray inside and clapped their hands while they waited.

"Why are you all crouched down there? There are seats here."

You sighed at the three cats (yes, their father is included) all crouched down side by side in front of the oven with their chins on their knees watching their cookies getting baked.

"Heyyyyy..." You pursed your lips and eventually joined the huddle, the four of you sat on the floor with the kids playing with you and Satoru to pass the time. Some thumb wrestling, tickle fights even rock, paper, scissors.

It's just like this, the simple moments of family time that you crave the most.

12 minutes passed and the 'ting' of the oven made the four of you excited (half of you dreading you'll run straight to the toilet in one bite).

Satoru carefully took out the hot tray while you were making something light for dinner. A light vegetable soup and some fried tofu and pork.

You chopped the carrots into diced and for a split second on your peripheral you saw Kouki trying to grab a cookie from the scorching tray distracting you altogether. Mother instincts leaping on action.

"Kou!" You hissed and just in time Satoru grab Kouki's hands away from the hot metal but you didn't escape the sharpness of the knife.

"Mama!"

"Hon!" Satoru put the knife away and held your finger with a cut bleeding profusely. "Can you get the first aid kit on the toilet Kikufuku?" Satoru turned to his son who immediately ran to the toilet.

"It's fine, I'm fine. The wound is not that deep." You sighed as Satoru seriously washed your wound but the blood does not stop. "Love, I'm not gonna die from a cut." You held back the urge to chuckle at Satoru's serious face as if you were hacked by a machete.

"Right, and I'm not going let you bleed like a waterfall either." Satoru snaps and drags you to sit on the tall counter chair while he tries to apply pressure to stop the blood.

Kouki came back with the kit and Saika immediately opened it.

"Mama, I'm gonna make it go away. Sho-chan taught me how to." Saika confidently brought out gauzes and betadine.

You chuckled at the little girl who wants to push her father away so she can treat you. For some reason, she really likes hanging around Shoko and often talks about being a nurse.

"Cat, clean your hands," Kouki remembered, pulling the stool so his sister could wash her hands and hop back to you.

"Princess, can you sit and behave for a minute? Papa is trying to help Mama first, okay?" Satoru frowned at the blood and was too busy to deal with the little one.

Unlike Shoko, he can use Reverse Curse Technique only to himself. He doesn't know how to heal others. Ironic.

"Papa, it's not like that." Saika huffed. She put her hands on her hips and stared at her father.

You notice your daughter's defiance and nudge Satoru. It's not like the wound is too big to worry everyone.

"Papa, Cat can do it... I saw it." Kouki interceded and for a second you thought his eyes glimmered like Satoru's.

Satoru stopped and looked at his daughter with a stubborn look on her face. He sighed.

"Cat... Well, how would our little princess do it?" Satoru crouched down and looked at her eye to eye.

"It's very easy." Your four-year-old daughter beamed and held your wounded finger. "Imagine two opposite waterfalls..." Saika murmured, concentrating on your finger.

A chill ran down Satoru's spine. Kouki didn't take his eyes off his sister and mother's interlocked hands.

"And the calm point they meet..."

A faint glow emanated on your finger and the deep cut that was bleeding was gone and there is no mark of a scar at all.

Saika's face brightened and turned to her Papa.

"See! I told you, Papa. I can do it. Sho-chan can do better though." Saika pursed her lips but smiled anyways turning to you.

"Did I do good, Mama? Is it good?" Your bubbly daughter jumped up and down and her brother ruffled her hair praising her a lot.

"Uhuh? What does my Cat want to be when she grows up?" Satoru chuckled as he carried his daughter in his arms.

You and Satoru looked at each other. A long silence before you both snap out of it and pat Saika's head, telling her she's so good.

"Where did you learn that Cat? Did Sho-chan teach you?" Satoru asked the smiling toddler.

"No, I just watch Sho-chan. She doesn't let me inside when a patient comes in so I just watch behind the door." Saika put a finger over her lips and shushed. "Don't tell Sho-chan, okay Papa?"

"I'm gonna be like Sho-chan! I'm gonna be a doctor." Saika clapped.

"See, I told you she can do it." Kouki grinned, looking at his sister being tickled by their Papa.

You ordered takeout instead and the kids happily ate their dessert and played in the backyard while you and Satoru sat beside each other, drinking some milk tea and shortcake.

Kouki has the color of your eyes, but there are several times that when you look into his orbs, the only thing he inherited from you is the color, the rest looks exactly just like Satoru. Vast and unfathomable. There are times you wonder how vast does your son actually see?

"Y'know, I struggled with reverse cursed technique until 16, I couldn't understand it very much." Satoru started while Saika tackled her brother down.

"Mnnn, even you struggled with it... Now that's something." You hummed and sighed. Your head found rest in Satoru's shoulders as he intertwined your hands and kissed the back of your palm.

There are only a few sorcerers that can perform that advance cursed technique, much severely few are those that can heal others, like Shoko. But even Shoko cannot fully explain how the technique works.

"How much does that take a toll on the brain? Unlike curse energy that comes from the stomach, reverse curse deals with the brain, no?"

"My wife is so smart, are you seducing me? Teheehehehe~" Satoru winked at you making you roll your eyes.

"Mnnn, it depends. The reverse cursed technique is more complex than it sounds. It boggles my mind how our 4-year-old daughter could even do that without being taught properly." Satoru chuckled seeing Kouki easily pinning down his sister and tagging her back and running again.

"You saw the wound she healed. It didn't even have any speck of scar Satoru. Even Shoko cannot heal wounds that cleanly. A scab or a scar is always present over the wound." You fear the situation that arises with this kind of technique. The ability to heal any kind of wound is one matter, but repairing it with no scar at all... You know it's another story. The underlying fear of her talent being exploited lingers at the back of your mind.

There are so many out there who would want to covet such precious ability themselves.

You watch Kouki playing with the bright clear marbles with blue streaks inside with Saika who is just as enamored by the swirling curse energy inside the crystal produced by her brother.

"We'll protect them." Satoru pulled you closer and kissed your temples.

It seems like your children will never fail to keep you and Satoru surprised at every chance they try.

—GreyCaelum

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME

Check out the Masterlist for more

All rights and credits of the Jujutsu Kaisen character(s) mentioned images(s) and songs(s) used, belongs to their respective owner(s)

General/Kaleidoscope Series Taglist: @ice-icebaby @aeanya @gummy-dummy @tender-rosiey @lexiene @nevermoresworld

[wrightingdungeon]

The Past Reborn

I was re-reading  “Dear Diary”  and this wicked angst popped into my head…. I'm not sorry I like making people cry! I'm just sorry Alex, Mee Maw, and Pop Pop are a angst farm some how

Final part here BTW

Warnings: Farmer go boom, I kinda blow up the ASS trio, Alex punches Sam, Cursing, ANGST, its 3 am ill come fix any errors later

Alex had always hated that you used bombs. The first time he found out was when you used some to clear out boulders on your property. That caused a few arguments, but he just wanted you safe. I mean, look at his grandfather.  Though Alex wasn't born when his grandfather had his dynamite accident, the story was a haunting family legend. The accident was a constant reminder of the dangers of explosives. George narrowly escaped with his life but was left wheelchair-bound. For Alex, the story was a cautionary tale. Even without witnessing it, the vivid descriptions from his grandparents painted a clear picture. It instilled in him a deep-seated fear and aversion to using any explosives. 

Every time you mentioned using explosives, Alex felt a surge of anxiety. He knew you were careful, but the inherent risk always loomed large in his mind. The fear of a repeat of his grandfather's fate was a constant source of stress. Ultimately, Alex's concerns were rooted in love and a deep desire to see you safe. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you to an avoidable accident. 

Today was one of the many arguments over your use of explosives. “I don't care if it's faster! I don't want you using them, Farmer!” He grabbed the back of the couch, his head held low. “Please.” He begged shaking the couch slightly, looking over at you, tears welling up in his eyes. "Please..." He was scared that he'd lose you; he had already lost his parents, and his grandparents weren't getting any younger. You are his rock.

“Alex, baby.” He watched as you walked over and carefully took his face in one hand, taking his hand in the other, pulling him into a hug. “Ok… I'll stop, ok,” you said, kissing his cheek and holding him close. Alex sighed out brokenly, warm tears still falling as he held you tightly. “Thank you, babe, thank you,” he said, kissing the top of your head as he rocked you slowly, so happy he had gotten you to listen. The weight of his fear seemed to lift slightly, knowing you understood the depth of his concern. You could feel his body shaking as he clung to you, each sob making your heartache. 

You had sold some but Abigail, Sam, and Sebastian had bought some. He observed as they excitedly packed their bags with the tools for their next mining expedition. Abigail carefully tucked the cherry bombs into her pouch, while Sam and Sebastian joked about blowing up rocks. It gnawed at him, this uneasy feeling, watching his friends prepare to venture into the depths armed with explosives. Yet, he remained silent, conflicted between his concern for their safety and his respect for their autonomy as adults. He also didn't think any amount of begging would get the Three Stooges to listen to him like it worked for you.

Alex remembered it was a warm Wednesday afternoon. Haley, Emily and Him hanging outside with Dusty before Emily's shift started. “Where's your lover today?” Haley teased poking Alex in the side. Rolling his eyes he pushed her hand away chuckling at her. “They said they needed something from the mines.” He said crossing his arms and watching Emily play tug of war with Dusty. “Oh, I think Abigail and the boys headed down as well.” Emily piped up as she pulled the dog toy back and forth. “I asked Abby if she had any crystals and she said she was going to get more.” Alex nodded and shrugged. 

“More people the better, no one will get snuck up o-” Suddenly screams filled the air, Abigail and Sebastian’s. “HARVEY!!!! HARVEY!!!” The two were a blur as they ran down the steps booking it to Harvey's Clinic. As the screams pierced the air, Alex's mind raced, grappling with the stark reality of the situation. His heart pounded against his chest, each beat echoing the urgency of the moment. He struggled to control his breathing, feeling the panic rise within him like a tidal wave threatening to engulf him.

 The sight of Sebastian's anguish-stricken face, his arms wrapped protectively around the injured figure of the Farmer, seared into Alex's consciousness, leaving an indelible mark of despair. It was a moment frozen in time, one that would haunt him for days to come, his heart sinks at the sight of your limp body, covered in burns that blister and ooze, and bruises that mar your once flawless skin. Your head bounces limply against his chest, a painful reminder of the violence you endured. Sebastian and Abigail, though also bruised, seem almost untouched compared to the severity of your injuries. Sweat beads on Alex's forehead as he struggles to comprehend the horror before him, his mind racing with fear and desperation, searching for help in the midst of the chaos.

His eyes remained fixated on the Clinic. Despite Haley and Emily's attempts to draw his attention, his focus was unwavering, ears ringing with a deafening silence. Haley and Emily have to physically make him look at them their mouths moving silently open and shut to Alex. As Haley and Emily exchanged glances looking behind him, his dread intensified, compelling him to turn and face whatever awaited. Sam came limping down the steps after his friends, his limp was more severe than Abigail or Sebastian's injuries. Sam glanced towards Harvey's before meeting the gaze of Alex, Emily, and Haley, guilt etched across his features.

The dull ringing in his ears was replaced with a buzzing anger that drowned out everything else as he glared at Sam, who looked guilty, fully aware of what had transpired. Without realizing it, Alex found himself confronting Sam, pinning him against the wall of Pierre's shop, his forearm pressing into Sam's chest. “WHAT DID YOU DO!”  Alex bellowed, ready to knock Sam's head off, his emotions teetering on the edge, tears threatening to spill. Sam, trembling with fear, raised his hands defensively. “I-Im sorry! I-I did-didn't know!” he stammered, meeting Alex's gaze with a mixture of dread and remorse. “KNOW WHAT!” Alex demanded, slamming Sam into the wall again, ignoring the attempts of Haley and Emily to restrain him. "They... they just came down the ladder! There was no one around, and they just... came down!" Sam explained amidst sobs, offering a fragmented account of how they all ended up injured while trying to fend off the unexpected onslaught. “We tried to stop it!” He sobbed his body shaking with fear and pain from his own burns.

Amidst Alex's growing fury, the truth began to emerge. Sam's actions had set off an explosive chain of events, and Farmer happened to be descending the ladder at that precise moment. Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian sprang into action, attempting to stop the impending disaster, but the Farmer bore the brunt of the blast, followed by Sam, then Sebastian and Abigail, in their desperate but futile attempts to intervene.

Alex's scream pierced the air, raw and primal. Tears streamed down his contorted face, blending with sweat. Fury burned in his eyes, but behind it, terror loomed large. His body trembled, muscles taut, veins bulging. He snapped and decked Sam in the jaw. He had told Farmer to be careful, he let them sell the stupid bombs to these morons, it was his fault…. It was all his fucking fault. You got hurt because of him.

Haley and Emily grabbed Alex pulling him back. “ALEX! STOP IT!” Haley yelled hugging his arm close to her and pulling him back. “Come on, just come on!” Emily said ash she pulled at his other arm. She motioned to Sam with her head as she and her sister pulled Alex off Sam. Pierre and Caroline had come out of their shop during the commotion, having heard Sam's body hit their outer wall, they grabbed Sam and pulled him away as the girls dragged Alex back home.

Evelyn was heading outside and met the trio at the door. “What is going on? Who is screaming like that?” She asked, her eyes landing on her grandson. “Alex, sweetheart…” She said carefully, taking the boy into her arms, and wiping his tears with her thumbs. “What's all the yelling about!” George hollered out as he wheeled himself to the entryway. “Alex punched Sam…” Haley said softly. “What! Alex baby?” Evelyn asked, looking up at him, her eyes full of worry. “He… He blew up Farmer!” Alex cried and sobbed out falling to his knees hugging his grandmother, his sobs loud, his whole body shaking with each sound. Evelyn gasped covering her mouth before hugging Alex back. “Oh Yoba…” 

“What happened?!” George barked out looking at the girls his face contorted in anger. “We… don't know,” Haley said softly as she rubbed circles in Alex's back. “Abby and Sebastian came running yelling for Harvey… The Farmer… uhh.” Emily looked at Alex not knowing what to say not wanting to upset him further. “Sam said it was an accident though, you know he'd never do that on purpose,” Emily said, looking at George. Evelyn and George shared a look that only time could read. “Help me get him up, sweetheart.” Evelyn with Haley's help got Alex to his feet and led him into the living room.

Sitting him down on the couch his body shaking, tears and heavy sobs racking his body. Evelyn held him close, petting his hair and letting him sob into her, quietly shushing him. “We have him, girls,” George said softly as he looked back at his wife and grandson. “Thank you, and please, apologize for us.” He said as he led the girls out of the house.

The town had a different heavy atmosphere that day. Three families have to bandage and care for their children, one family has flashbacks to days long past brought to the present, and one life is held in limbo.

[majosullivan]

Castle Swimmer Dashboard Simulator 2

🔄 gay-ass-seagrass reblogged sandyshells

🌳 everlastingwhiskers Follow

Threre are ha;ir thi eves haeving sex ;;; in my castsle’swalls sned help

🌳 everlastingwhiskers Follow

There are hair thieves having sex in our walls and now I’m getting fucking HECKLED

🪝 hookedline Follow

This has to be the funniest reason I seen for accusing a post for being fake cause like…it implies that they thought it is simply impossible for anyone here to be the same age or have similar usernames imao

🌳 everlastingwhiskers Follow

I can’t believe that out of all things, I’m being accused of lying about my castle having hair thieves infestation. I don’t think some of you guys understand just how much of a nightmare it is t;o ha e (32$$:?2 s)3$:!/@“/ svehiwsjlajwvdbk

🐚 sandyshells Follow

Op? Op are you good?

🌿 gay-ass-seagrass Follow

The hair thieves fucking got them

62,586 notes

🐬 divingdelphinus Follow

Head of the Guards: Oh hey, you guys are back early-

Guard: God Mouth’s haunted

Head of the Guards: What?

Guard: [grabbing a leister and heading back out the castle] God Mouth’s haunted

82,506 notes

♣️ saltysoul Follow

There are three evil witches from the dark sea traveling through the Purple Peaks? Damn, are they single?

496 notes

🔄 kitti-fishh reblogged

💟 kitti-fishh Follow

As a mer with any basic morals, what mini gods are capable of is terrifying. I have heard so many stories about poor castles being cursed because they defend themselves from an unprovoked attack from a minigod. No creature should have the ability to damn someone or a whole castle to a cruel fate because they defended themselves or an offence out of their control.

However, as a petty bitch-

🫧 bubbly-bubbles Follow

💟 kitti-fishh Follow

You. You Get It

#LISTEN #I’m not SAYING that if I had mini god destructive powers I would use them constantly for petty shit #I am simply putting it out there that the temptation would possibly pass my mind

5,891 notes

🔄 lesbiankelp reblogged

🦪 clamingdown Follow

What if we k-kissed at the bottom of the god mouth 🥺👉👈 and we were both girls 😳

629 notes

🔄 needling-on reblogged

💰 needling-on Follow

A list of things that I have learnt about/was told by the thirteen year old boy that has recently been staying at our castle with his mother (with every single thing being confirmed as being true):

-His mother threatened the leaders from their original castle that she would cut off their HEADS if they ever came near her son again cause they were treat him like shit. It should be mentioned that she said this TO THEIR FACES in front of THE ENTIRE CASTLE

-His first sword fighting pupil is a cursed prince (from what I’ve heard from his mother, his pupil is basically a big brother to him now)

-Also, his first pupil happens to be the beacon’s BOYFRIEND???

-AND HIS PUPIL IS FRIENDS WITH TWO OF OUR RULERS HERE, ONE OF WHICH IS MY OWN QUEEN???

-He could probably beat every guard at my castle in a fight

-He has broken a grown man’s arm so badly it popped in the other direction because he made fun of him and his pupil

-His mother was almost kidnapped by a giant trench monster in the God Mouth

-He stabbed said trench monster in the eye to save his mother

-He has recently fought an evil witch

-Him and his mother have also recently met the beacon

💰 needling-on Follow

Love seeing everyone’s priorities

239,063 notes

🔄 seadaisies reblogged

🌼 seadaisies Follow

okay but can someone tell me what is up with petrified pufferfishes? i swear, every time I plan for a trip, without fail, someone wanting to help me with supplies will give me one of these stupid little guys and just. Refuse to elaborate further

🐡 petrified-pufferfish Follow

You fool. You halfwit. A senseless sentiment from a simple-minded stooge. Your denial of me will bring forth your downfall. Your ignorance will wrap you in the garments of your rising. What will you have when you’re buried in the sand, choking on your own blood and no merciful god to hear your pleads?

🌼 seadaisies Follow

feel like my skeleton is about to jump out of my god damn skin, what the actual FUCK does this mean???

8,475 notes

🔄 give-that-axolotl-a-knife reblogged

🌿 gay-ass-seagrass Follow

The Surface God released me into the wild and now they’re hunting me for sport

24,074 notes

🔄 nauticalnymph reblogged

💠 nauticalnymph Follow

Of course you have an unending sense of dread as you desperately cling to a prophecy that could never be fulfilled. and pronouns

💠 nauticalnymph Follow

Easy site

58,944 notes

🥒 cutecumbers Follow

Oh the things I would give up to live the rest of my life as a little sponge. Bouncing around all day. Not a single thought ever going on behind those eyes. The ideal existence

2,857 notes

🖼️ ocean-landscapes Follow

The Purple Peaks

749 notes

🪨 mossy-rocks Follow

rip to everyone who died while trying to swim to the surface but I’m different

🪨 mossy-rocks Follow

if I wanted to reach the surface, I would simply just swim straight up until I got there

🔘 mossy-rocks-deactivated

you know what i’m gonna start swimming up there right now

84,689 notes

🔄 moonjelly reblogged honeydew-gourami

🎗️honeydew-gourami Follow

Do we still talk about that giant mini god crab that was destroying the Purple Peaks and making it basically impossible for castles to live peacefully there? Like whatever happened with that?

🌀 moonjelly Follow

The beacon completed the crab’s prophecy and turned him back to normal so things are chill now

🎗️ honeydew-gourami Follow

🌀 moonjelly Follow

What’s not clicking?

#you know who does click though? #the crabs #bunch of funky little guys

47,524 notes

[mountingpulisic]

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?

part one

tequila had always been your choice of alcohol when you wanted to forget. each shot representing a memory of yours that you wish you could erase from your brain. 

one for the look on christian’s face when you whispered those three little words.

one for how quickly he had gotten dressed and sped out of your flat.

one for the heartbreak that came along with the silence after the door closed. 

you weren’t blind, you had noticed him the second he came in following behind ben and mason. the three stooges, you used to call them. 

your eyes scanned over his club attire, mentally cursing yourself on how no matter how much you hated him right now, he still could cause your heart to flutter. 

you didn't know exactly when you started to fall for the former german player, had it been when the two of you binge watched gilmore girls and he agreed with you that logan was the better option for rory?  

was it when he showed up with a bag of nando’s when you absentmindedly told him you had been craving it since the arrival of your period? 

or was it that night at kai’s dinner party where he told your group of friends during a game of fuck, marry, kill that he’d marry you in a heartbeat. saying you were the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on.

 you are positive that is what did it for you. 

not wanting to be faced with the constant reminder of your failed situationship, you turned your attention to the stranger next to you and struck up a conversation. 

an hour had passed and you found yourself genuinely liking the company you were keeping. his name was henry and he had just recently moved to england for his job. having to leave his boyfriend of three years behind in france, resulting in a break up. 

“enough about me, y/n. tell me something about you.” henry said, getting slightly annoyed at how much he had talked in the past hour.

“what would you like to know?” you asked, bringing the drink you were nursing to your lips. you had pushed closer to henry since the area you two were occupying was quickly getting filled, leaving little to no space. you were basically on the man’s lap at this point, not that he minded, there clearly wasn’t going to be any blood rushing down there anyways. 

“I don't know, i already know what you do for a living, how many siblings you have, what you majored in uni. however, you still haven’t brought up your love life.” 

you were hoping henry hadn’t noticed how you were purposely avoiding the topic when getting to know each other. how were you going to explain to a stranger how you stupidly agreed to a friends with benefits situation with your neighbor only to have broken the one rule set before the mutual agreement. 

luckily for you, you had been interrupted. 

unluckily for henry, he was suddenly pulled up from behind by his collar and thrown into the nearest wall. 

the five ten midfielder was seeing red by the time his fifth drink circulated through his blood stream, eyes never leaving the scene that unfolded in front of him as you flirted with the man. Christian was content in his own personal bubble of anger until he saw you move closer to sit in the bastard's lap. 

that’s when the bubble popped. 

mason and ben hurriedly flocked to christian’s side trying to pry him off of the shellshocked blonde. 

“are you fucking delirious, man? trying to make a move on my girl?” christian screamed in henry’s face. the two mens strength combined was not enough to get him to loosen his grip on henry’s collar. 

you sat there frozen, digesting the scene that was unfolding in front of you, henry’s eyes sending you a pleading look to help him.

“christian, what the actual fuck.” he seriously could not be causing a scene in the middle of the club right now, embarrassing not only you but himself as well. However, christian didn’t give a rats ass if he looked crazy as of this moment, because right now he was pissed.

right now, there was nothing more he wanted to do than rip henry’s head off his shoulders. muffled shouts and hands grabbed his shirt trying to get a hold of him to pry him off the poor guy. any minute now security was going to come and kick all five of you out. 

and that’s exactly what happened as you sat on the curb with henry’s waiting for your uber.  hands covering your face as you practiced your speech that you were going to deliver to christian after henry was safely in the car. 

apologizing once again, you sent henry off and started making your way towards the three stooges who were leaning on a wall a few feet away from the club exit. noticing you approaching rather quickly considering the fact you were in heels, ben and mason knew they had to act quick.

being the good friends that they were, quickly dividing trying to keep space between yourself and christian. ben consumed you in his arms as he fought off your hands trying to push past him to the dimpled boy as mason stood like a brick wall shielding christian from you. 

“you have to be fucking kidding me right now, what was that?!” you shout, looking around at the three men, waiting for an explanation.

final part

[eriquin]

The Prophetic D&D Game, part 24

POV switch to the excellent Erica Sinclair.

(master post)

One day in January, Lucas’s moping came to a head. Erica normally would not have cared, but this time her brother pulled her aside. He wanted to talk about Max, and about some game he was playing at school. At first, she didn’t understand why she should care, but then he went into more details. Max was withdrawing from all of them, and the guy running this D&D game was putting in stuff about the Upside Down that he shouldn’t have known about. He told her the whole story.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” Erica asked. “Max doesn’t know me, and your new nerd friends sure as heck aren’t going to listen to me. I’m in middle school, remember?” 

“No, it’s not about that,” Lucas said. “I just need someone else to know what is going on. Max is too hard to reach. Mike tried telling Nancy, but she blew him off. Dustin tried with Steve and Robin, but they both think he’s imagining things. We’re not imagining it, though. This story that Eddie’s telling? It’s for real.”

“Does it have anything to do with the Russians?” 

Lucas shook his head. “I don’t think so, though there’s some hint about foreign countries with the king. But the Russians weren’t involved when Will was taken, so maybe they’re still going to come up later?” 

Erica nodded. She got a notebook out from her backpack and flipped it open to a new page. “Okay, go over it again,” she said. “I want to take notes this time.” 

She got regular updates whenever they got to play that game again. It made her a little jealous that her brother had a regular D&D group, even if all the people in it sounded like huge dorks. None of her friends were interested in playing, even when she tried to make stories about My Little Pony. It didn’t matter, though. The mystery of her brother’s DM having some kind of sixth sense was fascinating to her. 

Mike and Dustin both knew that she knew, and sometimes when they all got together, they went over her notes. They filled in some gaps and had their own theories, but Dustin was the only one who made any sense. Mike mostly whined about having been tricked into playing Steve as a character. Erica didn’t know what his problem was with Steve. The man had fought Russians for her and gave her free ice cream whenever she asked. He was all right in her book, but she didn’t point it out. They didn’t need to know her business.

The four of them decided that it definitely had something to do with the Upside Down, even though they weren’t sure what. They could tell who each person in the main group was supposed to be, but they weren’t sure who all the other characters were. Lucas was mostly worried that all the things that happened in the game were going to happen in real life. He was convinced that Max was in danger, but didn’t know what to do about it.

Then March arrived. The Hawkins Tigers made it to the championship game, and Mom and Dad were so excited to go, even though Lucas never got to actually play. They talked big about supporting him, and how he was putting in his time now and would play when he was older. Erica, on the other hand, could do the math and knew that it would conflict with Hellfire. She was completely unsurprised when she saw those three stooges approaching her after school. 

“What now?” she asked. 

“We need a sub,” Dustin said. “Eddie said that if we found a sub for Lucas for Hellfire, we could play the Cult of Vecna.”

“What’s the Cult of Vecna?” 

“It’s the other game that he’s running,” Mike said. “See, there was this evil lich, and he’s dead but he made a cult and they’re trying to bring him back. We have to stop them. It’s really—”

“Wait, you’re playing two nerd games? At the same time? Gross,” Erica said, shaking her head. “I take it you want me to sub?” 

“Yes,” Lucas said. He clasped his hands together. “If we don’t find a sub, then he’s going to run Cursed instead. We’re coming right up against the big bad, and Sadie is going to be bait. If I’m not there, he will kill her for sure.” 

“Why don’t you all just ditch?” she asked. “Go watch Lucas play his game. He can’t run anything if you’re all missing.”

“He can, and he will,” Dustin said. “He’s in a truly terrible mood this week. I don’t know what’s up with him, but he would definitely kill us all out of spite. I don’t know what that means for us, if he’s predicting the future.” 

Erica scoffed. “You think he’s not just predicting it, but he’s able to change things?”

“I don’t know,” Dustin said. “All I know is that we have to see it through until we can figure out what’s supposed to happen.” 

“Yeah, we can’t have something like Lucas being out screw with the final battle,” Mike said. “Also, if we can delay it, then I can tell El and Will about it when I go to visit them in California.”

“You haven’t told them yet?” Erica asked, slipping as much judgement into the statement as she could.

“I didn’t want to tell them over the phone in case someone was listening, and it sounded weird when I started writing it down,” Mike said. “Also, I wouldn’t put it past the lab people to read our mail.”

“Rude,” Erica said. “That’s a federal offense.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they care about that,” Lucas said. “Will you be the sub? I know you have a character you can use.”

Erica arched an eyebrow at him. “Mom will be pissed if I miss your game,” she said.

“Not half as pissed as she’d be if I missed my game,” said Lucas.

“If I do this, I expect to be appropriately compensated.”

Dustin sighed and rolled his eyes. “I will buy you three new minifigs at the game store next time we go.”

“Six new minifigs, plus a baby dragon.”

Dustin groaned. “Four, and no dragon.”

Mike threw his arms in the air. “We don’t have time for this! I’ll get her the dragon!” he said. “Can we just go?” 

Dustin sighed and looked at Mike with disgust, then back to Erica. They both knew that bargaining was part of the fun. “Fine, four minifigs and a baby dragon.” He held his hand out to her. “Deal?”

They shook on it, and Erica prepared for her grand entrance into Hellfire.

Taglist: @weirdandabsurd42, @10moonymhrivertam, @blueskiesandstarrynight

[mannequinentity]

u dont understand , ur actually one of my fav oc / ppl on this hell site , EVERYTIME IM CRIPPLED LAUGHING I CANNOY WITH YOU

Constantly watching Three Stooges, Eric Andre show, and etc is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

But THANK YOU! It means a lot after many weeks of demotivation earlier this month.

[mysterybooks-world]

I would like huge applause for @chiquitafresa

For my giving great idea name for my OCS

Visuelle sister & Visuel brother of Vox

I was thinking about their early childhood Like old cartoon kids having adventures for example The Chipmunk Adventure

when they became a teenager They were like The Three Stooges They traveled around the world and worked in different jobs

Vox is like Moe, Visuelle is like Larry and Visuel is like Curly

They made many acquaintances, friends, and enemies on their journey

when they became adulthood They became CEO Of their company

They bought lands. They built their own Studios

(note some ghosts are haunting here, they were friends of the triplets When they were teenagers) in the years They protect the place and take care of it.

They do the coolest and greatest shows

You could say they were like (the greatest showman) (JINGLE JANGLE)(movie Cats Don't Dance)(Singin' in the Rain)

You know, like old movies

Visuelle is married to my other OC he is man, Let's say Vox and Visuel spy on their date, like the siblings of overProtect In Each Other

they mess with him Like pranks and tricks But in the end they accept him In family.

the reason vox in hell Although he killed some people who tried to harm him, his family and friends

Vox didn't tell his siblings

In hell vox changed

He does not regret his actions, but the only thing vox regrets is not telling his siblings the truth.

poor Visuelle and Visuel They miss Their brother

In heaven They started their own company like Vox They know all the information about heaven

Their appearance like demon vox. suit Light blue colour And a TV for a head With light blue wings and a halo angel.

Visuelle and Visuel find out They have the ability to open portals between Heaven, Earth and Hell

They decided to search for their brother The first changed their form into demons like vox.

vox was in his office when he felt vibrations From two familiar Signals

From nowhere his siblings They appeared from one of the screens. vox couldn't believe the two people in front of him And he said Visuelle ,Visuel Is this really you?

Visuelle: Who else are we similar to each other, you dummy?

Visuel started crying and He jumped on Vox for a hug, Visuelle did the same thing And the three of them started crying While they curse each other, After the family reunited

They started scolding Vox In not telling them anything But the important thing is that they are together again

Visuelle and Visuel like Velvette BUT Valentino oh boy So let's say, they taught him politeness.

If they meet Because they keep it secret

Vox talked about Alastor And about his behavior with him They both tapped their hands on their screens and They shake their heads

All the while Vox was in hell losing a part of himself. vox no longer cares about anything like before, not without siblings.

Because he lost his desires And his determination Without his family So he began to treat the world like his stage He doesn't care about anything, he just plays the role

So when they started spending time together Some things in his life improved in hell

Vox moved on about His past with Alastor Because with his siblings he can be his true self

So yeah that's the story of my au.

I have other au for them like (assassin triplets AU)

Do you know Yor Forger and Yuri Briar from (SPY x FAMILY)

They are a mix of both

All three of them died at the same time At the age of 43 When they were fighting enemies and They sacrifice their lives for the lives of thousands from a dangerous type of weapon.

They fell in a park on the bushes. They try to make sense of the situation while The three of them hid in a tree. Visuel says something silly About their appearance

When a random Sinner was walking Close to them. They caught him And They squeeze all the information out of him. They threatened him not to tell anyone About meeting them.

Anyway After they realize that they are in hell

Visuel: This is funny, whoe knows death has a future

Vox: What do you think we should do?

Visuelle: This is a simple question my brothers We will live a peaceful afterlife Or at least we try live a peaceful afterlife, look at the chaos

Visuel: Yes, we deserve eternal rest

Vox: Sorry to break your optimism But we need a job and a home. Here's the plan. So we'll open it as a TV store and Devices & Studio

Visuelle: sound like good plan

Vox: And the important thing We don't become a overlords or meet overlords And I mean this Visuel

Visuel: Why I didn't do anything?

Visuelle: YET

They by electricity After they discovered how to control their power

After they settled in an area in their home

The first floor and the second floor are a shop and the rest of the building is their house.

Vox was on his way back to the store When he saw everyone running away and screaming The Radio Demon, Vox teleported over a building to try to avoid him, And when he was inside the store

The doorbell rang

welcome to the VoxTek store How can I help you?

But his facial expression changed to one of shock when he saw it in front of him Alastor

Alastor: Alastor a pleasure to be meeting you quite the pleasure

Vox: Hello, I am honored to meet you Radio Demon What brings you to my humble Studio store?

Alastor: Call me Alastor is Enough

Alastor: I've heard a few things about your store From some Sinners

Vox: So I hope what you heard is a good thing

They start a conversation with each other.

Visuel and Visuelle entered the store

They were ready to kill the Radio Demon Behind the door But Vox told them do not do at by through their shared frequency.

so They stand With Vox behind the cashier

Alastor: It's rare to see three Sinners similar in appearance,

Visuel: You don't say, looks at him With sharp look

Vox kicks his foot under the table

Visuel: What did I do

Vox invited Alastor over for lunch

While they were eating

This scene happened The spoon got stuck in Vox's mouth

When they looked at the instead of Jam jar It was a jar of glue

While Alastor burst out laughing as he watched vox chases his Siblings

And that's how they became friends

But later they became overlords Because of a certain deer.

Because Alastor can't stop laughing when he's with them

to Alastor He feels found treasure of entertainment from the pure kind

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

Wildflowers (pt. xviii)

a john paul jones x fem!oc fic

summary: Julia Morgan knew nannying for three girls who had recently lost their mother would come with many challenges. But she never thought their father, the enigmatic musician John Paul Jones, would be causing her the most trouble. And while Julia is not in the business of saving broken men, her tenderness might be meant for more than little girls and wildflowers.

table of contents │ previous chapter

masterlist│ko-fi

notes: general angst, brief allusion to ed, imbibed john paul jones

a/n:  shoutout to the anon who has said wf reminds them of lady chatterly i'm sorry i've never responded to you

pt. xviii, nightshade

“I think I want to. I think I’m ready to get back at it.”

The sound of keys jangling, scraping into the lock. Skkrrt…skrr…thnk…thnk…

Then his cursing. “Bloody hell.”

I made my way from the stairs to the door; the front hall was lit sparely by a candelabra wall sconce, casting eerie shadows on the dark wood paneling.

It was late. And he’d told me not to wait up, but I couldn’t stand to be in bed alone. I’d become so accustomed to his body next to mine, his warmth and weight always just a brush away.

More keys jangling. Mumbling. Another key shoved into the lock, angry and wrong.

Truthfully, I’d been anxious since John told me he’d be going to Plumpton for the evening. It was a last minute thing, a phone call that morning from Peter or Jimmy. Never clear which. The girls and I were already sitting around the breakfast table, his space auspiciously empty.

“Where’s Daddy?” Kiera asked.

“Yes, Julia, where’s John?” Annie followed up, vaguely scathing.

I glared at her. Ever since Annie came back, nighttime was the only time John and me could safely spend together without fear of her critical eye. No more playing house or stolen kisses while the girls’ backs were turned.

For all of John’s attempts at smoothing things over after Annie walked in on us, she remained relatively cool, at least to me. Our conversations always had a tense undercurrent. We could be near to enjoying ourselves when Annie would suddenly remember my indiscretions and freeze up on me.

Or she’d just be plain rude.

“Girls, you start eating. I’ll go check on your father,” I said as I got up from my spot at the table.

“Yes, who knows how long it might take Julia to…do whatever she does,” Annie added.

I turned to her sharply. “Do you mind?”

She didn’t look up from scrubbing a pan in the sink. “Pardon?”

“Do you mind holding back your commentary, Anna?”

Annie smiled at me saccharinely. “No, don’t mind at all.”

I rolled my eyes, but as soon as I turned to go, John swept in through the door, nearly walking right into me. “Oh!”

“Ah!” John exclaimed.

The girls giggled as we slapsticked around each other like the Three Stooges. That was our new default. Being terrified to accidentally touch in front of anyone.

“I was just coming to get you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” John went to his seat at the table, giving each of the girls an affectionate kiss. “Was caught up with a phone call. Hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“My eggs are cold and my juice is hot,” Tamara said with a dramatic sigh.

“Good thing today is a topsy-turvy kind of day,” John replied.

I sat back down. “What kind of phone call?”

John’s eyes shot up to mine. “Uhm. Business.”

I pursed my lips. This was a question I would not have asked when I was only his employee. As we’d gotten closer, I felt more entitled to know about his life. Follow-up questions, though, were for a wife. Not a…whatever I was.

It turned out, though, his caginess was not because I asked.

“I have to go out to Plumpton tonight,” John said to Annie and me after sending the girls to the playroom, the three of us sitting around the table over coffee and cigarettes.

“Whatever for?” Annie asked.

He sighed in resignation. “Peter’s insistent it’s just a ‘friendly get-together’. You know the boys, their wives. To which I said I couldn’t possibly be there. But then he pushed and pushed and it became clear quite quickly that this was much more of a…professional engagement.”

Annie poured him another cup of coffee. “You think it’s the same old song and dance, then?” 

“Naturally.” John sipped his cup. “And you know when Peter wants something, he can be very persuasive.”

“That’s a generous description,” I said.

John hid a smile. “Anyway, I won’t be at dinner tonight.”

“Well, we’ll be just fine. As always.” I wanted to reach out and squeeze his wrist, but with Annie’s eyes on us, everything was off-limits.

John sighed. “Not worried about you. Worried about me. They’ll all be their with their wives and they’ll have me cornered into conversation after conversation. Trying to convince me of something we have to do to stay relevant. They convinced me to do the bloody film, they convinced me of the label, and now all that’s left is an album. And that's Pandora's box.”

“You just tell them no as you always have. Simple,” Annie said. Then, she looked between the two of us. “Or you take Julia.”

“What?” I scoffed.

“Well, if he’s worried about being the center of attention, you could completely distract them, couldn’t you?”

Neither John or I spoke.

“Oh. I forgot,” Annie replied drolly. “You’re just friends. ‘Scuse me.” She got up from the table and went to get started on laundry.

John took a long drag on his cigarette. “Well. She’s in fine form isn’t she?”

My mouth was hot. I waited a moment longer, hoping he would ask me to join him. But that’s not what this relationship was. Just friends in the daylight, just lovers in the night. No in between, not since Annie came back. I was getting tired of this light switch flipping off and on. “You’ll be alright tonight?”

John smiled at me. “You worried about me?”

“Hasn’t that been painfully obvious for a while now?”

John eyed me through the smoke of his cigarette. “Aren’t you sweet?”

I blushed.

John stamped out his ciagarette, got up out of his chair, and poured the rest of his coffee into the sink. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. And besides –” He crossed to the kitchen door and gave me one last look. “I’ve got a trump card over Jimmy if I need to use it.”

“You wouldn’t say anything.” It was a fact. He wouldn’t.

John shrugged. “No. But if anyone’s giving me any guff, I can just imagine you with your knickers ‘round your ankles and that’ll be quite a pleasant distraction.”

My jaw dropped but I had no time to respond before John slipped out of the kitchen to the studio.

We’d been about this affair a little over a month now. And it was honestly getting a bit stale. The flirtatious comments and stolen kisses held less excitement. I was starting to wonder if and when things would change between us, hopefully for the more permanent. However, there wasn’t a lot of time to consider any changes between us when things were so busy. I was preparing the girls for back to school the first week of September and John was attending to business matters more frequently. He was also more “inspired” than he had been in a while. That’s the word he used: inspired. Inspiration often struck at night. Sometimes, he’d let me join him in the studio while he tinkered around. Other times, I’d leave him alone and awaken to him slipping into bed with me. Always in my bed, never in the master.

That night, I hadn’t settled since John had left even though the girls were in good spirits over a dinner of macaroni cheese and a jaunt into town for a sweet treat. I was distracted by thoughts of John at Plumpton. Was anyone asking after me? After everything at Montreux and the way I’d left things with Pat, certainly she’d be inquiring. But men weren’t quite like that. They asked after wives and children, not lovers. Or nannies.

Despite him saying not to wait up for him, I waited with a copy of Lady Chatterly’s Lover in my lap going unread.

Every sound of the creaking house had me going to the door to listen and see if it was his keys or his car.

Hour after hour passed. I felt for sure he would call if he were to stay over. Or maybe he wouldn’t to avoid suspicion.

But then I heard it. The jangling, the cursing, the wrong key in the lock.

I opened the door, revealing John. He fumbled forward and grabbed the doorframe to steady himself. His ring of keys rattled against the door. “Julia! You’re up.”

John’s eyes were wobbly. “Don’t tell me you drove drunk,” I said.

“Not drunk, just a little –” He paused, looking down and swallowing back the slurring cadence of his voice. “Tipsy. Only a little.”

“John…you could have gotten yourself killed.”

John took a step forward and stumbled right into my arms, clinging to my shoulders. “Oh, come now, Julia. It’s just a half hour drive.” He kissed me. I tasted fermented grapes on his lips. “Mm. I’ve missed you.”

I couldn’t help but swoon “It’s only been a few hours.”

“A few is too many hours. Especially when everyone was asking about you.”

Oh, how my heart soared to not be too far from his mind. “Well, I missed you too.”

John smiled, leaning in for another kiss. “Pat wanted to know why you haven’t called.” His breath was hot and stale smelling.

I pulled back. “Your breath is –”

 “Peter wanted to know why you hadn’t come along.”

I dodged his mouth again. “John…”

“And Jimmy asked as innocently as he could how you were doing.”

I laughed. “Cheeky bastard.”

“And I realized I had no idea how to answer that question because I haven’t asked you that in some time.”

I stopped, furrowing my brow in bewilderment. John took advantage of my pause and softly kissed me.

“How are you, Julia?”

“Ehm. Fine.”

John pouted out his lower lip. “Just fine?”

“Is that not a good enough answer?”

John raked his hand through my hair, scratching my scalp. “I want you to be more than fine.”

I leaned my head into his hand. In the night, with him, when nothing was off-limits, I felt more than fine. My questions were starting to outpace my enjoyment.

John went in for another kiss.

“Easy,” I giggled, catching his kiss on my cheek. “I wish you would have stayed the night there than risk driving in this state, John.”

“Even if you had to sleep alone?”

“Even if I had to sleep alone. Yes. Now, let’s get this coat off, hm?”

John wriggled his arms, the sleeves sloughing down his arms. “Goddammit.” He started spinning around, trying to get them off.

“Hold still, I’ll get it,” I giggled.

I followed him around in a circle like he was a toddler until I managed to snag the collar and yank the coat off. “Ough, thank you. Thought I was trapped. Like one of those, uh…” He pointed his fingers together in front of him. “Those finger traps, you know?”

“Goodness, how much have you had? Or what have you had?”

John put his hands on my shoulders, intense concentration folding his brow.

“What is it?”

He took a breath as if to say something important. “I’m very hungry.”

I patted his stomach. “Poor thing. Didn’t you all have anything to eat there?”

“No, Jimmy never has anything. I’m not sure he even has any food in the house let alone for guests.”

“So that’s why you’re so tipsy.”

John rolled his eyes in thought. “Mmmwell, I did have a couple of mints from Pat’s purse.” 

I laughed. “Alright. I’ll make you something. Let’s get your shoes off first.”

John tripped past me to the hall bench, landing with a thud on his backside. “Oof.”

I finagled his keys out of the lock and shut the door quietly. The girls had been asleep for several hours and I didn’t want them waking up and asking questions.

“I’ve only had some wine and grass, by the way,” John sighed, leaning forward to undo the laces on his loafers.

“Really? That’s it? I’d hate to see what literally anything else does to you.”

“Out of practice.”

I scoffed at the idea of drugs and alcohol being considered a practice. “Here, let me help.” I knelt to the ground.

“I can undo my shoes, Julia.”

“You can, but you’re being awfully slow about it.” I waved his hands away. “Let me.”

I liked to make myself useful to him in any small way. It was the best way I knew how to show my affection and perhaps lead him to be unable to picture a life without me. I was a woman so perfect, I’d get on my knees just to take off his shoes.

Clearly, I was getting desperate.

“So tell me. How was it?”

John didn’t reply. His breath was heavy, thick with drink. I could feel his eyes watching me. Waiting for something.

I tapped his calf. “Off.”

He pulled his foot out of the shoe and twiddled his toes in the sock.

“Was it what you thought it was?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“Were they trying to get you to start back on the album?”

“Oh, yes, yes. Yes, they were.”

I undid his other shoe and started to pull at it.

“I think I want to.”

I froze. Certainly I must have misheard him. But when our eyes met, I knew I hadn’t.

“I think I’m ready to get back at it.”

I opened my mouth to respond. All that came out was a sound of hesitation.

“It all sounds rather exciting again. I haven't felt that in a while. But knowing you’re here with the girls, I didn't feel quite as worried. And I’m feeling more –”

“Inspired, yes.”

John smiled in such a way that broke my heart. Like a young boy asking his mother if she was proud of him. He wanted my approval.

If I had been more to him, I might have felt compelled to tell him what I really thought. That the girls weren’t ready. That I wasn’t ready.

But I was only the nanny. What he said was gospel. 

“What do you think?”

I swallowed back my concerns and placed my hands on his thighs, getting up on my knees. “It’s wonderful.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I’m thrilled for you. I’m sure everyone is…just so thrilled.”

John wrapped my face in his hands and kissed me. “You’re my angel. I would never have felt ready without you.”

“Nonsense.”

“No, really, Julia. Really, really. I…” John was losing cogency by the moment, brain saddled with drink. “I never thought I’d be ready again, but...I just think it’s time. I really do.” The more he spoke, the more assured he was.

“When will you leave?” The word leave stuck in my throat.

“I’ll stick around for the girl’s first day of school and then be off.”

That was barely a week away. “How long?”

“Well, as long as we need. Probably the month. But it’s a short drive. I can visit.”

A month. When the girls were just starting school, Kiera her very first year.

And we…

I had no right to “we”. That was clear now.

I took his hand and squeezed it. “You said you’re hungry. I’ll make you something. What do you want?”

“I’ll eat anything. I’m ravenous.”

I got to my feet, but John did not let go of me. He pulled me down into his lap and buried his face in my neck.

“I’ll have you if you like,” he murmured.

My stomach turned. There was nothing I wanted less at that moment than for him to whisper lewd things in my ear. I squirmed in his arms. “I’m on the rag, John.”

“Mmwhat’s that matter?”

“I’m tired.”

“You won’t have to do anything.”

“I’ve got cramps.”

“It’ll help.”

I finally made it out of his arms and started down toward the kitchen. “Come on and be quiet about it.”

John laid off once we made it into the kitchen and he remembered his empty stomach. He was indeed ravenous, scarfing down a sandwich and babbling on about various events of the night with no regard to chronology or clarity. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t listening. Everything was about to change even more than it already had. And that was all I could focus on.

The next morning, after a fitful night of sleep made even worse by John’s liquor laden snoring, with the girls gathered around the breakfast table and Annie listening as she cleaned, John delivered the news.

“It will only be a few weeks. And I’ll come home as often as I can. And Julia and Annie will be here, of course.”

The girls all looked to me. Their eyes pleaded with me to say something, anything that would validate the way their stomachs had just dropped.

I have regrets in life. For a person to say they haven’t got them is a lie. And sitting at that table with a smile plastered on my face instead of speaking to their fear is one of many regrets I have.

“How does that sound?” John finished with an eager smile.

Tamara spoke, holding her head high, “Good.” She would lead in her appeasing, eldest child way.

“We’ll have a lot of fun,” I said and reached for Jacinda’s hand that was clenching her fork. She looked at me warily. I squeezed harder. “And we’ll talk to your father every day on the phone.”

“Yes, absolutely,” John added. “We’ll have lots of chats and you can tell me everything.”

The girls were silent. They’d been here before. Old hat. Better at this than me.

“And there’s plenty of time before I leave to spend time together. We can do whatever you’d like. Whatever at all.”

“Anything?” Kiera asked. She did not have the skill of conceptualizing the true feeling of John's absence. She would be the hardest to care for.

“Sky is the limit,” John replied. “We’ll start today. Tell me, what would you like to do?”

I couldn’t sit there any longer with my irritated grin. I excused myself from the conversation, saying I needed to use the bathroom. But the moment I left the kitchen, tears filled my eyes.

He couldn’t leave. He shouldn’t. Not when things were so unsure.  

I stumbled to sit at the bottom of the stairs and tried to steady my breathing. A tear rolled down my cheek. I smacked at it like it was a fly. One tear became two, became a deluge. I buried my face in my lap to muffle any sound of my sobs.

Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Familiar, yet nowadays so rare. Annie.

She guided me into her arms and held me against her bosom. I wrapped myself around her as if she was my very own mother as she stroked my hair.

“Oh, poor heart…” she murmured. “He’ll be back for you. I promise you that.”

I lifted my head from her lap, finding her foggy gray eyes. Annie cupped my cheek in her hand.

The next thing she said, I’ll never forget.

“But you have to be careful, Julia. This is his life. This will always be his life. The coming and the going. Do you think you can handle that?”

My head knew the answer was “no”. However, my heart was not willing to let him go. Not when we had just begun.

“I can. I can.”

Annie's brow pinched together only momentarily, but enough to let me know she didn't believe me. But instead of carrying on another moment, she kissed my forehead. “Of course, you can.”

tag list: @jimmys-zeppelin, @kari-12-10, @grxtsch, @edal-weis, @ritacaroline, @kyunisixx, @salixfragilis, @rebel-without-a-zeppelin, @jimmypages, @dollyvandal, @cassiana-on-dark-side, @thepinklovewitch, @babyl222, @faisonsunreve, @sastrugie, @seventieswhore, @t4ngerinedr3am, @mayspringcome, @barrettavenue, @foreverandadaydarling, @glimmerofsanity, @matty-heally, @lzep, @jimmysdragonsuit13, @n0quart3r, @larsgoingtomars, @paginate54 (let me know if you’d like to be added 💋)

[momo-de-avis]

The way republican press, heavily atheist at times, reports on these miraculous events is so fucking funny. In 1895 there was reports of a man being healed of lycanthropy: in other words, they were trying to get rid of his "fado", or fate. Werewolves in Portugal are called men bearing a fate, and to break the curse is to "break the fate". These are the 7th sons who always undress at night at a crossroad and then fuck off butt naked after spinning five times. The way to break the fate can vary from region to region. In the Algarve I believe, the wife has to pick up the clothes and then fucking BOLT back to the house to burn them, and that is because anyone who touches the clothes of a cursed man will attract the cursed man himself so he can attack them.

Anyway in 1895 the way the news report it is so fucking funny. It's something like "last night, three dumbasses were spotted by the cemetery. They undressed the third idiot believing the cold would heal him of his fate, then the absolute clown was poked and two of the three stooges just left the fool there alone, who was taken home with no issue" lmaoo

[boyakishantrinity]

The Blades.

I don't know if I've ever told this before. But when the major figures shifted towards engaging into a war, whoever hadn't been pulled into the swarming mass. Well, there was a problem with man power.

Waging a war was expensive, people began to bend people, pull and push them into working for them and only their allies. It was how I ended up in this shit.

Walking towards the same old path, the hill long since abandoned, a pair of gods and one of their priestesses. With fields of wheat, trees sprouted as the remnants of trash were absorbed and eaten.

People forgot about this place ages ago, the name arepo long since dying out, reborn way back in the 2020's. And coming back now, with reality showing disparities. People would sometimes show up here, come back. Most who stayed now fought and protected this land. A growing number, I looked towards the hill.

Covered in flowers, the breeze blowing calmly, the soft remnants of hundreds of tiny insignificant things. The large upkeep of the land done by the people, children stopping their play as the stranger walked forward.

"... Who are you?"

Black hair, tan face with a kind smile. An unsettling presence like something was wrong with the woman, but she didn't. Act, look or truly feel strange. The child smiled, looking at her.

"... Mate, just reveal your true form or whatever. I'm tired of riddles, I've come to pay respects and ask a few questions."

The three kids looked at each other, the eldest of them called out.

"How did you-"

"Either you let me in or I'll letting myself in."

Squinting, tense. Their forms shifting to more adult, the dark skinned group of young teens pausing as one laughed it off.

"uh huh, well-"

Shouting her gun, to them, coat shifting as she looked at them.

"You let me in, or I let me in."

"... Woah-"

"You listen here-"

"Wait a second-"

Raising the gun out, snarling as she aimed it at them.

"I don't have the fucking patience to wait for you stooges to catch up. Either let me in, or I get in."

Again, looking between themselves, one gripping a rock as the woman opened the revolver's chamber. Shoving bullets into the hole and snapping them back, she took aim at one of the teens as they stepped back.

"Don't try to run, don't call for help. I've got a shit ton of people coming for my ass, if I don't get this done in the next seven minutes this place will be swarmed by a bunch of mercs."

"... You-"

Pulling a gun on her, glaring as she explained in a slower dumb voice.

"Me getting chased by bad people. I need to talk to arepo and his spouse so I can do a thing to not get swarmed. I don't have time to explain or comfort, either let me in or this place will get swarmed and at that point you'll be fucked."

Glaring into their soul, breathing heavily, she motioned for them to open the gate.

She'd grabbed their wrist, Arepo calling out in shock, the woman stabbing into their neck after warning her. Immediately tackled, pulled away, the god gripping their hand. Gasping, before something burst from them. The wound vanishing, woman grunting as she was lifted up. The large man holding her called out.

"WHAT THE FUCK-"

Shoving her foot into his balls, biting the arm of the other person at one arm, before throwing a punch into the person to her left. Stumbling onto her side. Cursing as she landed onto her shoulder.

"... What- what did you do???"

Gasping, hand gripping their wound as she spat onto the floor.

"Fuck you think? I would've told you, but those gate guards didn't give me enough time."

Helping herself up, glaring at Arepo to try stop her. Priestess sitting there, servants frozen as she wiped her mouth. Coughing, grumbling as she stretched herself. Looking at the god.

"you're welcome, don't fucking ask me how long it took to find that shit. Not only did I need to find a way to give you a body, but I also had to figure out a way to make your ass cover me while I figure some shit out. Also, ow. That fucking hurt you. CUNT."

Kicking the groaning man's arm, shouting in pain as he rolled over. His daughter rising, shaking her head as she gripped her hand.

"... HEY DON'T KICK MY DAD- ... Did you b-"

"So what if I did, you wouldn't let me fucking-"

Hand at her neck, Arepo snarling as he lifted her off the ground.

"ARE YOU INSANE-"

"Yes? I can't. Breath. You..."

"-WHAT IF THAT DIDN'T- GAH!"

Kicking into his balls, now gasping for breath as she raised a hand.

"Jesus... Christ. I'm sorry I didn't fucking plan or think this through or whatever. But who gives a shit. I would've done something else, but... Ah whatever. What's your name, you good?"

Turning to the goddess, blinking, body shifting as they gripped their head.

"I- it. It hurts."

"... Oh right, Sun mentioned that. Uhhh. Hey, if you can hear me. Think about your body returning into air!"

Calling to them, gripping their neck, eyes widening to Arepo. And then a flash of light.

Stirring the tea, Arepo glaring at her as she calmly drank tea at the table.

"... What is wrong with you???"

He finally stated, glaring at her. Young, nanites swarming across her body as she chuckled.

"I told you, I'm crazy. Now. Bitch boy-"

"THEY ARE NOT A BITCH BOY."

Shouting at her, hands slamming the table. Priestess glaring at the woman, snarling as she looked at both of them.

"... I- I really don't mind-"

"See? But for your benefit mate. No name, I'm gonna need to borrow a smidge of your power..."

And now I will have more on AO3. There will be no new updates pages or anything. Toodles! :3

[olberic]

i love seeing what other ppls curse of strahd games are like. ppl saying its a tragedy or talking about dramatic moments or character deaths. meanwhile OUR curse of strahd game is a comedy. we’ve gotten werewolfed. twice. stole so much wine from the vineyard. we pranked isaac in the town square. barovia (town) failed the vibe check so we left. me (paladin) and the sorcerer and the ranger do three stooges distractions so the wizard can stealth in and rob ppl. we’re making father lucien into an adventurer by bringing him everywhere. we’re hitting on one of strahd’s consorts. me and the wizard are trying to get strahd to hire us. the sorcerer and ranger want to strangle us.

[lettherebemonsters]

10 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 .

Muse: Kenneth Chase "Jeffrey Hawk"/ The Clown, William Afton/ Clown Springtrap, Domenico " Nicky" Giuseppe SanGiovanna/The Ringmaster (my three stooges lol)

The Clown

1.) The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature

" Welcome to the lower birth The greatest show unearthed We appear without a sound The darkest show around We will leave you in a daze Madness, murder, dismay We will disappear at night With blood on the concrete..."

2.) The Carnival by Amanda Jenssen

" Hammerman, you make me dull I'm going to the carnival I'll sit beside and watch them play It's gonna be an awful day..."

3.) Put on a Happy Face! by Jagwar Twin

" Flip the switch, flip the stove World gone mad, let's start the show Get your kicks and let's go If you're sad, don't let it show

Say I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy today I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy today They say put on a happy face 'Cause we're tick-tock, tick-tock Ticking like a timebomb..."

Clown Springtrap

4.) Our Little Horror Story by Aviators

" Five nights left to find you One last thing to tend to You'll fear what I can do But you'll never run Ghosts warn of my actions But I'm the main attraction You'll bring my satisfaction Our little horror story's just begun..."

5. A Gorey Demise by Creature Feature

" One by one we bite the dust Kick the bucket and begin to rust Give up the ghost when your number's up We all fall down

Ashes to ashes, bones to paste You wither away in your resting place Eternity in a wooden case We all fall down..."

6. One Foot in the Grave by Creature Feature

" I've got one foot in the grave And in its shackles I'm its slave And here I lie With all the night The pearly gates turned me away In this sarcophagus I lay No longer dead but I am bored of breath

I can feel the cold night air I can feel the decay there I can feel it in the wind In death I have been born again..."

The Ringmaster

7. Slasher by Aviators

" Starved out in dust to make a killing For shares that we won't see Our minds feel hate and flesh is willing We hurt what lies between One second passes and you're gone Our weapons drawn but Somehow these kills won't make us whole We've sold our souls..."

8. Scarlet Vow by Aviators (though replace 'she' with 'he' lol)

" Lock your doors She's coming back to even out the score Vengeful spirits do her dark commands In the devil's hands Now the fire's in her breath Scarlet vow Taken by the girl who you cast out You're not the only one with chants to sing Or a prayer to bring But her patron saint is death..."

9. Death of a Dollmaker by Creature Feature

10. Here There Be Witches by Creature Feature

" Unholy hexes, dark incantations Our days are numbered just sacrificial lambs Depraved and corrupted agents of darkness Chosen by the black mark of the beast Archaic volumes, forbidden writing Blood ceremonies, sermons for the damned This curse must be lifted before the full moon Or we're all just meat for the feast..."

Tagged by: @silvcrignis (thanks boo! >:3)

Tagging:

(Anyone who wants to do this!)

[gingersnapwolves]

Kouri watches The Eclipse, episode 3

Akk, try to contain your gay panic

You heard the man, kids. If you don’t want to wear these shorts to school, you’re going to end up in jail.

Ayan over here like ‘I’ve seen cults less creepy than this’

The third stooge over here like ‘sorry but I know gay jealousy when I see it’

Everyone thinking Ayan is behind the protests when really he’s just reminding these guys that curses aren’t real

I didn’t realize these kids were just high schoolers. That explains a lot lmao

They resolved it in like thirty seconds, dude. Calm down

Listen I’m not saying it would be the right thing to do but why doesn’t the school just expel the three troublemakers and move on?

Ayan’s eye roll when he realizes Akk is following him omg

Just two guys, sitting in a car, three feet apart because they’re playing gay chicken

Not a shower scene I expected, but I can’t really complain

They’ve got that whole apartment and they choose to squeeze together at that tiny desk? lmao

Cuuuuuuuuuuuute

Man I can’t wait to see which one of these two is gonna snap and kiss the other first

[anorc-writing]

Who's on first?

No, not the Three Stooges skit. What have I been working on lately?

Well, atypically, one of my older works. "The Old Betrothal Contract"

Who doesn't love a betrothal contract story? (Obviously, they're quite toxic, and no, I don't like them, which is why I write so many parodies of them.) This one.... is different.

Here's the draft blurb.

A Harry Potter marriage contract story where played straight. And it's obviously Haphne. But the twist is ... it's set in canon "real world." so it's not magically binding or anything. Harry just has "first refusal." Obviously, Daphne can say no too.

Technically there are two Siberian Princesses, but it’s not Daphne, and they’re not beautiful.

Because it’s been such a huge trope in fandom, what if a Potter-Greengrass betrothal contract was a real thing. But just less cancerous than as portrayed (lets pretend Magical Britain is a stable reality of sorts). Our bespectacled Hero will do what he does best. Wing it.

And let’s pretend the author of the Harry Potter Series didn’t make up all the back-story as she went, and thus, like a snowball, a few almost accidental questions make Harry’s life different. Note not necessarily better, just different.

Now, I've been accused of writing crack. This will, obviously, crack because Betrothal from birth isn't a thing. Well, okay historically it was a thing, and don't worry, characters will be bringing up the Henrys of England to explain to Harry that yes, it's a real thing.

It will contain inherited humiliation for Harry, because the idea that Harry has a Mysterious Ancestry(tm) is a fandom staple.

And that leads to an element of crossover-ishness towards the end of the story. (Which will be taking elements of cursed child as canon, because it's a framework for postwar history.)

[the-curse-wizard]

hey how did you handle that curse i cursed you with (Curse of Not Knowing How to Handle Curses)

THREE STOOGES EFFECT