#time for the back to work depression to hit 🥲

[nebulous-wanderings]

I've been AWOL from social media cuz I was on vacation for a friend's wedding in Orlando, and I went to Disney World right after and also saw the NieR Orchestra concert there.

Here's a photo of me looking like an Alice secret service agent, and a photo of Yoko Taro who was a surprise guest at the concert:

[fuyuu-chan]

"Life Is Hard But You Are Loved"

Pairing: Vyn Richter x Reader

Fuyuu-chan: I know i'm late :') i'm sorryyyyyy ... Anyways let's pretend Vyn is a psychotherapist here 😅

Seraphiism's 2023 Collab Event

Also Thank you for letting me join @seraphiism 💙

~ the boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse

Warning: Mental health issues (Not Proofread, might be kind of cringe 🥲)

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Having a depression is hard. Like really hard, it makes your life harder. That's why you took your friend's advice when she said there's this one therapist that is highly recommended.

And that's when you met Vyn. In your darkest times, he was there to light up your path. And you were so grateful to him.

He changed your life. He was there when no one was able to help you, even if it's not his work hours. He told you it's okay to contact him if you needed.

That's why whenever your anxiety hits or you feel like you can't anymore, you always contacted him and as Vyn promised he always came to you and comfort you. Even though he was your therapist he became your friend..a trusted friend.

One time that you contacted him you were crying...

Because when you told your parents about your condition, they suddenly act differently towards you. Like when you suddenly get hit by sadness and anxiety out of nowhere they just stared at you. You feel like you shouldn't have told them anything cause they would just judge you.

Vyn saw how you cried. He don't know why, but when he see you cry his heart always ached. Vyn hope he could take away your pain. But the only thing he could do is comfort you.

He also gives you advices when you needed.

He patted your back while he said "You know maybe because they don't know what to do, that's why they just looked at you. Because this is their first time seeing you like that, right?"

"I guess..." You said as you lean on his shoulder.

"Also (name)... they're your parents, they would never judge you, they would love you no matter what, they care about you...think about this, when you are sick they're there, right? They took care of you when you are sick. So I'm pretty sure they would be there for you too now" he explained.

"Just give them some time..." He continued.

You nodded as you closed your eyes for a second.

"Do you...really think they still love me?" You asked as you opened your eyes again and looked at the ground.

Vyn looked at you. "Of course, you are their child, so of course they would love you" he said as he was convinced.

You sigh softly as you looked at him. "...Thank you"

"Always" He said as he softly smiled at you. Making you smile slightly.

After a moment of silence. You decided to break the silence by asking something to Vyn. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course" he answered as he looked at you and wait for you to speak your mind.

"...I don't know why, but seeing people nice to me or some of them telling me they love me...I feel like they are lying, I feel like they meant the opposite...my feelings are so weird."

He listened to what you said and think for a moment before saying something. "(Name) it's normal for you to say that and feel that especially after one of your friends...left you..."

He looked at you for moment if you had a change in mood after he said that. But he saw how you just nods at his words. Looks like you already accepted it.

He then continued. "But it doesn't mean that people are like that...true some people just use you while others are genuine... but give a chance to the people you think or feel that they are genuine, let them be kind to you and love you."

After he said that, you looked down for a bit before looking up at him. You smiled at him and nods "Alright... I'll try"

Vyn smiled back at you. He was contemplating if he should tell his feelings to you, but he thought if not now then when will he do it? He sighed and looked at you. "And maybe...you can let me too?" He asked.

You tilt your head and looked at him confused. "Huh? What do you mean? We're already friends aren't we?'

Vyn chuckled because of your reaction. "I meant that...can you let me love you? As partners..."

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, and repost to any other social media, Thank you

[duplicitywrites]

Thank you so much for replying to my other ask! I completely understand not wanting to revisit a fic you had wrote when you weren't doing the best, and I hope you're feeling better now! 🩷 I adore 'evermore' so much even though it's quite depressing aha 🥲 The way you wrote Harry's mental health and escapism was so good and Id love to hear some spoilers if you were up to it 😅

One thing I love about fanfic is the freedom of it all, and like you said "What is fanfic if not an ode to writing that felt unfinished?". Your interpretation of Harry as an abused child at his core in works like "damaged" always get to me. It always felt weird in the HP book series that Harry had such an awful childhood and was as well adjusted and happy in the future.

Another one of your works I was really interested in is 'perfect boys with their perfect lives', the Harry/Cedric aka a certain dark lord one. It really had me thinking about what could have happened in the graveyard if Harry hadn't escaped 🫣

i am, thanks! it was around covid, which was an awful time for everyone i'm sure, with weird life stuff piled on top of it.

i was going to answer all of the ones you mentioned, but evermore is actually one of few stories i have planned out in detail. this is why it has a planned chapter count (though that hasn't stopped me from going overboard before lol).

i guess i'll just give you the whole thing in case i never finish it kljsdgkljdgs it's pretty long, so under a cut it goes! but first some context for everyone else:

🍃 Evermore

Tags: Alternate Universe, Unhealthy Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Infidelity, Past Child Abuse, Dream Sequences, Depression, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Plot Twists, Happy Ending, Surprise Ending, Healing

Summary:

Harry is a married man who is living a charmed life. He has no need for the fantasy potions gifted to him by the Weasley twins—or so he thinks. After falling asleep on the train ride home, Harry dreams of the perfect man, a man named Tom Riddle. As Harry explores his dream life with Tom, he realizes that his actual life is not as charmed as it seems. The pristine image of his faultless marriage shatters, revealing a darker reality, and Tom Riddle becomes an oasis, a sanctuary for Harry to escape to. However, no sanctuary is eternal and no oasis is truly perfect. Harry must eventually confront his demons, inner and outer, before he can find real happiness for himself.

Notes:

these notes are arranged in order from where the most recently posted chapter left off.

there are probably some divergent points that occurred during the actual writing process, but this plan below (i'll admit i'm not quite brave enough to reread it all) is what the general storyline will be.

-

reality four - right where you left me

maybe harry's been harbouring fears of his potions being found? :thots: or his husband's made note of his changes in behaviour, accuses him of not spending time/being devoted

they get into an argument where harry gets a looooot of shit for stuff he doesn't deserve to get shit for, stuff that's not even true

harry yells back but gets hit, idk if by magic or not :thots: and he backs down, distraught. then once he's alone, he goes straight for the dream world

dream four - no body no crime

it'll be a much shorter version obviously, and the character roster won't be the same

i hadn't nailed down the specifics of the background and so i'm not sure how it'll look, exactly

harry is NOT married in this dream, he knows dream-husband but they are only friends

dream-husband is ginny's role in this particular iteration

but the climax of this scene is where harry is snooping around in the house, where he happens upon the dream-husband's diary

he's been looking for evidence to prove the murder

harry reads through the diary

and in the diary are tragic entries describing depressive thoughts, details of emotional (maybe even physical) abuse, etc.

this is a pivotal moment for harry, who up until this moment has been in denial about the failings of his real life marriage

reading this in the framing of it happening to someone else is enough for him to realize that it's wrong

what happens to him is not okay

but of course it's not that easy to just, shrug off years of marriage all at once; harry once again exits the dream, thus ending that particular dream universe

he's partly in denial but it's not as bad as before

he's been using the dreams as a coping mechanism up until this point

i've made it sound kind of frustrating but the dream worlds that harry goes to are meant to be very lush, romanticized

while we realize that harry's dream worlds are not ideal, he doesn't realize it right away

he thinks he's still doing something wrong

reality five - coney island

uh so next is probably another real life scene which shows tension between harry and his husband, only harry is no longer acting the way he did before aka accepting things without question

after the dream, harry starts to... notice things. he picks up on the slights, on the manipulative behaviours. he doesn't argue back for most of it, because he's still figuring it out and he's in shock, but he does start acting differently, which is noted by his husband

it escalates things further, a landslide of 'harry is no longer listening to me, is no longer under my control' type of deal where it results in more attempts to manipulate, which harry now sees is bad

voldemort grew addicted to power, made deals with politicians, gained a following

he looks back on past events and picks out the red flags, realizes that his marriage is not a marriage of equals. but just because harry knows these things, doesn't mean he knows what to do. he goes back to the dream world for comfort/answers

dream five - cowboy like me

this one is 'cowboy like me'

harry is there with his husband staying at a hotel, they happen across dream-husband, who is a con artist attempting to swindle an older woman

either harry is also a con artist in a similar vein, or he is mistaken for one - i'll probably decide once it's written out and i get a sense of the vibe

but he and dream-husband have some interesting conversations, flirting, etc

the theme of this dream i think will be further strengthening the similarities between harry and the dream-husband he's made up in his head

this dream ends with a bittersweet farewell

something along the lines of, despite their attraction for each other, they must part ways? :thots: or some other thing

but there will be a bit of a cheeky 'see you soon'

aka referencing the fact that it's a dream/dream world, that the dream-husband is a recurring character in harry's mental space

reality six - happiness

harry's down to two vials now, the bittersweet farewell of dream five has him realizing that time is running out in the metaphorical sense; we understand that soon he will need to make a choice

i might loop back to infidelity at this point, maybe in an attempt to bring harry to heel, his husband starts flaunting an affair? :thots: cause in the past, flirting with other people probably worked to make harry upset and easily manipulated

but y'know now harry is armed with his brand new knowledge of Marriage Should Not Be Like This and also he's got some shiny self-worth stored up, courtesy of dream-husband

dream six - ivy

in this dream world, harry is married to his current husband, but he is having an affair with the dream-husband; not in the sexual sense, but in the emotional sense. drawing on the dream five, harry is seeking comfort and solace from his bad marriage

this dream is meant to remove more of harry's doubts and encourage him to see that his current situation is bad

and i imagine we start to break through the fourth wall; dream-husband speaks directly to harry, referencing real life events that have occurred

he encourages harry to leave

harry is doubtful, obviously. this is all he's known and he's been gaslighted, manipulated, mistreated

he's terrified he will be found out and punished for it

but the dream-husband reassures him, promises him that things will be okay, etc.

he makes harry promise to take care of himself

and i'm thinking in true romantic sense, maybe they spend the night together? :thots:

reality seven - closure

we solidify that harry deserves better, that what has happened is not his fault, etc all the important, healthy things

we have harry reaching out to the people that have been slowly pushed out of his life (mostly by his husband). he’s reconnecting with them, being healthier, i think this section would end with harry going to ron and hermione and telling them the truth, telling them everything

harry is down to his last vial, so he's been saving it

like, he could obviously go and get more, they would give it to him for free, even, but you know it's kind of like

he shouldn't have to rely on that as a coping mechanism any more

dream seven - evermore

i'm thinking harry goes for one last dream, they sit together outside(?) or somewhere else that has significance for harry

they hold hands, harry talks about how much the support has meant to him, what he's learned about himself, what these dreams have taught him

sometimes things don't work out

he knows he needs to walk out and move on

i'll probably cry writing all this so you know it'll be good

the end - it’s time to go

then like i mentioned before, there will be a scene of harry signing divorce papers. his friends are with him, telling them they support him, and he feels... relief. he feels hope.

the story ends with harry attending a party, this time by his own decision. he's here to genuinely mingle with people, with his friends, and have a good time

and then he sees someone

much like the previous dream, it's someone who he once knew

they talk, they catch up, but this time it doesn't feel odd or uncomfortable

harry feels secure with himself, and we end on the hopeful note that this could go somewhere good

[aliveinacoffin]

request for maybe an all might fic of him neglecting (not paying any attention) to his daughter. And she’s depressed in the inside (but even more after sir night eyes death) but outside she is “happy and cheerful”. But then she just gives up on her looks and behaviour and then someone notices and tells him and then he finally acknowledges her and when he asks what’s wrong she finally snaps at him. (Sorry if this is long)

That's okay! Are you the person who requested the same for the aizawa fic? Your ideas are so good but so sad 🥲 I hope you're not going through a tough time :( also, I was unsure if you wanted it to be in readers pov, but it was already too late when I started, oops T_T

Important To You

Being the daughter of such an important man was already hard, but after he gets deathly ill and the death of his best advisor? Forget about it!

TW: Neglect, parental abuse, depressive episode, mentioned eating problems, bullying, death,

Being the illegitimate and unwanted daughter of Toshinori Yagi wasn't all too bad. He was often times caring and meek, not really knowing how to be a dad to the daughter he never wanted.

But being the daughter of All Might? It was the worst thing in the world.

It made you feel guilty to feel that way. You knew his job was important, he had saved hundreds of lives every day for fucks sake! But he used to always be All Might. He had never been Toshinori, ever.

He used to never be home, always at his agency or out working. He used to just wire you money to let you fend for yourself if he remembered. Sir Night Eye, or as you knew him, Uncle Mirai, has been there from the beginning to make sure you were fed and made sure you were alive and safe every day. Ever since you were little, he would send someone from his agency to pick you up from school or from home to take you to his office.

Ever since your father's accident, his fight with All For One that left him chronically hurt, he had been spending more time at home. But it was all for naught since he just spent time locked away in his room or trying some new healing technique to try and get him back to his prime. He was still just as distant as always, but instead of the distance that separated you, it was the emotional availability.

Currently, you were sitting in your uncle-not-uncle's office doing school work while he typed away at his computer. Apparently, he was working with the Hero Commission for some secret project. Whatever it was, you knew it was serious business. Usually, he'd spill the beans to you, hoping that Hero business would rub off on you to give you more smarts or something like that. But you had never been usually interested in stuff like that, so most of the time, it was a lost cause.

But this time you were extremely interested, but he just wouldn't tell you.

"Please? Why won't you tell me? You know I won't tell anybody else, not like I could anyway." You muttered pitifully, scooting your school desk over to him. It was one he got for you when you were small, and he just continuously upgraded it as you got older. Faded drawings could still be seen, the main one still as bright as ever.

It was a stick figure of you and Mirai holding hands in an office, while All Might was a small figure in the clouds.

Spread out on your desk were math papers. You were a second year in a reasonably priced high school. What? Did you expect the quirkless daughter of the technically quirkless number one hero to go to hero school? Or even a prestigious high school? Hah, in your dreams.

"Because I can't. This is a very important mission. Hopefully, it will be over soon." Mirai said, his stiff form diligently working.

You sighed, hitting your head on your desk. Looking at your homework made your head spin, so you packed it up and pushed your desk to the back of his office. You grabbed the chair from the desk behind him and pulled up to sit next to him.

He immediately glared at you and exited all his open tabs. He called out to you, scolding you. You groaned and got up to face the back of his computer.

Mirai sighed and shook his head, mumbling a thank you as he reopened his work.

You took out your phone to play around on it, and you could feel his harsh gaze on you. You looked up, and half expected that he would tell you to 'smile more' or 'try to be more funny', but that's not what he said at all.

"What have you eaten today?" His voice was stern, almost cold in the way he said it.

You've always been in the middle of the weight class, with nearly childish features you inherited from your father. But you have never been the weight you could've been, always just falling short. Like always.

"Food, I ate today." You mumbled, looking away. Lying wasn't that hard for you. You lied all the time. Yes, I'm fine! Oh, don't worry about me, I'm just not hungry. Yes, my life is great! But when it came to your uncle? There was always a guilt there, like you were committing egregious sins when you lied about your homework or how home was like. The pain and squirming guilt outmatched the grumbling of your empty stomach.

"I asked what you ate today. You need to take better care of your body, you're a growing teenager, you must eat the proper meals to grow." Mirai scolded you, quickly opening an email to send some intern to get you food.

"It just slipped my mind." You shrugged, looking down like a pouting child.

"Then set reminders." He countered, not caring about your sour mood.

Sometime later, Mirio's shining face came in with a hearty meal and a large bottle of water.

___________________________________________

The mood was off, and everyone could tell, and you were no fool to it.

"Why's everyone so tense?" You asked, flinging your backpack at the entryway. Dragging a nearby chair to sit in front of Mirai's desk, taking your usual spot.

"Do you remember the case we're working on?" Mirai asked, green hair mussed and slightly greasy.

"The one you won't tell me about? Yeah." You scooted closer to his desk, leaning over in anticipation.

Today had been shit. There had been a presentation in class about your family history. Of course, you tried to get info from your father, but that ended up being pointless.

"Dad?" Your voice was small, and the knock you landed on your father's bedroom door was smaller.

There was rustling, on the other end. "Yes, hun?" He called out to you, somewhere in the depths of his room. Not bothering to even face you to talk to you.

"I uhm-I have an assignment for class, and I need your help." You said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You held the paper in your hands, the edges crinkling slightly as your nerves got the best of you.

"Oh? Why don't you ask Mirai, I'm sure he's much better equipped for your school assignments." You could hear the sound of papers hitting a desk, and a feeling of sadness filled you. They were probably lesson plans for that one student at U.A., the one he had been training the past couple of months. He was giving that one random kid more attention than you had gotten from him your whole life.

"Because for this one, I need to ask about my family history. It's about gathering information about my parents and grandparents and so on, it's to show our research skills. It's a summative grade." You explained. A large part of you was in denial, there was no way he'd say no, right?

"W-well-" Suddenly, his thin form peeked out the door, a kind smile on his face. "I'm really busy at the moment, how about later we can go through the closet and try to find some old pictures, huh?" Your father reassured.

"O-oh, okay!" You nodded fervently, trying to hide your disappointment. You went into the apartment living room, and sat down on your couch, pulling out the expectations and requirements for the assignment.

Later never came.

You did the same next day, asking him to help you, and each day was the same. Tomorrow alright? Oh later, is that okay? Each and every time, later never came. Timidly, you asked him why he kept pushing you off, trying to stress just how important this assignment was to your grade.

"Oh! I'm so sorry honey, my side has just been acting up, and I have so much work to do that it must've slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, how about I make it up to you? We'll get ice cream later, how about that?" Your father promised, his two bunny ears bouncing as he bowed slightly as he apologized.

"A-alright, as long as we get my assignment done." You said, trying to sound stern. Your tears threatening to spill out.

Later. Never. Came.

When it came time to present your assignment in front of the whole class, you were humiliated beyond belief and got the worst grade out of the class.

Back to the present, Uncle Mirai sighed and looked over at you from his computer.

"Well, we're finally making a move on them tomorrow. I have been doing extensive research, and I can only strive for the best outcome." Mirai was looking down on you, but you knew he was trying to comfort you.

You had gotten wind of how serious this project was from wandering the halls of the building, seeing how solemn and serious people looked, and overhearing hushed whispers made you somewhat aware of what was happening. But not only that, the look of your uncle's appearance became more and more disheveled the more you saw him, just seeing how overworked he was.

"That's great! I'm sure this will help the agency's notoriety right?" You trusted your uncle's abilities, you knew how strong he was, how smart and capable both he and his team was. You didn't have a shadow of a doubt that he'd be fine. He had to be, after all. You had no one else but him. You didn't have friends, growing up around your uncle and absent father didn't exactly give you the best people skills. Everyone either thought you were weird, or a freak. Especially as a kid when you tried to brag that All Might was your father.

"But he is! All Might is my dad!" You exclaimed, tears filling your eyes as you stomped on the ground.

"Then how come you don't have a cool quirk like him? How come you don't have any pictures of him? How come he never picks you up from school or shows up to school?" The other kids jeered, a small group of other kindergarteners surrounding, you trapping you.

"Because he's busy! My uncle just says I'm a late bloomer!"

"More like a lame loser! Stop lying for attention." You felt a pair of hands shove you to the ground, and the group dispersed.

The rest of your childhood was the same, you gave up around middle school trying to convince people. The bullying just became too much for you. Around that same time, you stopped eating as much, and stopped caring about your appearance, what you wore, and what you did.

Your hair was long and often tangled, the ends light from all the damage done to your hair, your constant eyebags deep and dark, your unhealthy weight from either the lack of food or the lack of proper food. The only reason you even bothered to eat was to make sure you didn't upset your uncle, he was the one to make dentist appointments, hair appointments, and doctors appointments. He was the only one who ever came to important ceremonies for school, sometimes even going to parent-teacher conferences for you, he was the one to hold you after school while you cried, the one always there for you. Your uncle was the only one who even cared about you.

"The justice we will bring will be greater than the fame we will gain." He nodded, piercing yellow eyes boring into you. As if he could read your mind and not the future, he turned fully to you, giving you his full undivided attention.

"I promise it'll all work out in the end, you're a strong and capable girl. Now tell me, did Yagi ever help you with your assignment?" Mirai asked though both of you knew the answer.

You turned away from him, trying to hide the embarrassed tears that came crawling to the surface. "I failed, and now I barely have a C in that class."

He sighed and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. He groaned and looked at you with annoyed eyes. "I should've known."

That made you giggle.

___________________________________________

"Well, we're finally making a move on them tomorrow."

Today.

After school you immediately raced home, sending a text to Centipeder or Moashi, that you wouldn't need a ride to the office. There was no point anyway, your uncle wasn't there to keep you company.

You remember the first conversation you had with him, a funny misunderstanding that was the first development of your Kind Guardian/Kid relationship.

"I just don't understand." He said from the front of the car one day, unprompted.

"Uhm, what..do you not understand?" You piped up after a beat of silence, confused.

"well, for Sir Nighteye to even acknowledge someone, they must make him at least smile. But I haven't heard you tell even a pun to him, and yet he is very open with you. I am...also confused about the nature of your relationship." Moashi confessed, eyes constantly going back and forth between you and the road.

"O-oh, I'm his niece. And I'm...not very funny, I'm too awkward to try and tell him a joke every day." Your voice was weak and trailed off, embarrassment filling you. But you had told the truth, you struggled to even ask to go to the bathroom, let alone try the daunting task of trying to tell a joke. He hadn't made you do it when you were too young to tie your shoes, why suddenly start now?

"ah, I apologize for my unprofessionalism." He asked, embarrassed himself too.

Since then, you felt a little bit more comfortable around him, even if most days you sat in the back looking out the window.

Still, none of that mattered when you turned on the TV, feeling like a little get as you sat right in front of the screen.

"Oh sweetie, please don't sit so close to the screen, it's bad for your eyes." You could hear your father's voice behind you.

You didn't even bother to pull your attention from the screen when you spoke to him, "You know that's actually not true. Plus, Uncle Mirai has his raid today, and I need to know the result." You quickly surfed through channels, and you jumped when you found the one you needed. A helicopter was circling above an inconspicuous-looking house, absolutely swarmed with heroes.

"That's today? I hope young Midoriya will be okay." Toshinori mumbled, and it made you glare at your TV screen without realizing it. Your emotions were on the fritz, you hadn't eaten since yesterday, hadn't slept, hell you hadn't even drunk water. Too nervous to do anything other than go through the motions of life. Your head hurts, your eyes stung, and you felt like absolute shit, but you needed to know.

You heard your father sit down behind you, but you didn't move an inch to give him a better view.

Then, it began.

___________________________________________

They won.

The heroes won, and they arrested all members of the Shie Hassaikai yakuza. But there were heroes so gravely injured that they needed to be life-lined out, and when they zoomed in on the victims' faces, listing off their names, both you and your estranged father ran to the car to race to the hospital.

Normally, your father was a strict follower of the rules, especially when it came to the laws of the road. But at this moment, the speed limit just didn't exist.

Hell, you guys were pushing a hundred while on your way to the hospital, the ride deathly silent. You were too terrified to speak, and your father remained unreadable to you.

The ride to the hospital was the most unbearable experience of your life.

___________________________________________

You ran ahead of your father, not even helping him get out of the car as you burst into the hospital. Hurridly, you ran up to the receptionist, speedily saying your name and asking for Mirai Sasaki. She pointed you to his secluded room, and you didn't even bother to thank her as you took off at top speed.

It felt like your world was crashing down, your breath coming in short, and panicked. You could barely breathe, barely think, the only thing you could do was run.

Your lungs burned when his room came into sight, a scream was worming its way from your throat, your heart and chest burned absolutely alit with fear.

Some part of your mind registered a green-haired boy and a blonde boy in the room, but it didn't matter as you slammed the door open.

A sob forced its way out your mouth when you opened the door, your eyes clouding with tears when you drank in the sight of your uncle. "Mirai!" That scream tore its way out of you in a voice you couldn't recognize as yourself.

You rushed over to his side, grasping onto the sidebars as if your life depended on it like it was the only thing keeping you here on earth.

The display of his health horrified you. His usually cunning eyes were dull and glazed over. His naked body was filled to the brim with tubes, filling the hole in the middle of his abdomen. His body was weak, the blue veins visible under his thin flesh, covered in sweat as he weakly breathed, his lungs wheezing with the strenuous task of pumping hair into his body. He looked over to you slowly, a small smile tugging across his face as if the mere act of making a minuscule smile drained what little life force he had left. His usually neat hair was mussed up, a sight people rarely saw because his appearance was the second most important thing to him.

He reached a shaking hand to you and placed it gently on yours. It was such a stark difference, the feeling of his cold and weak hand gently resting on your hand, still clenching as hard as you could next to him. Tears were freefalling now, hitting his pale arm and sliding down it. His hand trembled on top of yours, and you hurridly grasped it with both of yours to ease the shaking.

"U-uncle-y-you-" You tried to speak, but snot and tears made it difficult to speak. Your throat was tight, the feeling of thorns and barbed wire made it near impossible to even breathe.

He called out to you, voice soft and small, shushing you in an instant. "Breathe, you must calm down. You're having a panic attack." Mirai's words were shaky, and he tried his best to reassure you, even at a time like this.

"But you're-you're-" You couldn't even finish your sentence, couldn't even think of the word coming to your mind.

Dying.

He was dying.

Your uncle, the man who raised you, the man who made sure you ate every day, who made sure you had clothes, who taught you to tie your shoes, brushed your hair, and had held you on your best and worst days, Mirai Sasaki was dying.

And there was nothing to stop it.

When your father had almost died in his fight with All For One, you had been upset, sure. But Mirai had reassured you that he'd live, he even used his quirk to ease your worries, so you hadn't been as worried. Sure, it was still a deeply traumatizing event and was a hard time for you and your father. But you had Mirai, you always had Mirai.

And now he was leaving you, he was leaving you behind. The man who had replaced your father your whole life was abandoning you, and there was no way to stop it.

"Please, please don't leave me." You cried, finally managing to say words to him.

Mirai's face never faltered from his gentle smile, and his eyes crinkle slightly. "My child, please don't cry. Please don't forget your smile." He looked up at the ceiling and rested his hands on his wheezing chest. Your uncle's body completely relaxed, but he still had a smile on his face.

"When you were born, your father...did not want to keep you. Toshinori wanted to leave you at an orphanage, but I refused. I wanted you, I wanted you so badly I promised to take care of you. So I did. For the first couple of years of your life, I took complete care of you." He wheezed. "But he realized just how precious you were, so he took you back." Mirai mustered up the strength to look at you again, and it was obvious that the smile on his face was fake. "I've regretted that day every day. I should've kept you and raised you on my own. So I made sure to the best of my abilities that you were okay. But, I failed." Now, tears were falling from his eyes.

"Nno, no you didn't-" You started, voice full of panic, but he shushed you.

"Let me finish." He took a deep breath in and continued. "Every day I knew I should've kept you, it pained me to see you in such miserable conditions. Before I realized it, I had grown contempt for Toshinori. I hated seeing you in such a state, but I never wanted you to hate your father, so I just tried to help you in any way I could, and kept my anger to myself. I don't know when, but you had morphed into my own daughter over time. Maybe you always were, I'm unsure. Still, I want you to know one thing. I love you, and I always have. Please, promise me you'll live your life with a smile on your face and a kind heart, don't forget who you are." You gasped, trying to get as much air through the tears and agony.

"I promise, I swear on my life I'll honor your legacy the best I can." At this point, you were practically in the hospital bed with him, hunched over and clawing at his shoulders and hands.

"Remember to take care of yourself, live for me, and grow older than I'll ever be." Mirai shakily reached up to grasp at your face, weakly trying to wipe away your tears.

You closed your eyes, trying to appreciate and memorize his touch. "I pinky promise, I love you so much." Your eyes flew open when his touch disappeared, and your heart broke at the sound of his heart monitor flatlining.

At that moment, when nurses rushed in and your father's weak hands tried to pry you away you felt it.

Everything after that day was a blur.

Your world stopped that day.

___________________________________________

You don't remember how you got home that day, or what you did the rest of that week. Hell, even his funeral was a blur. You didn't go to school, didn't eat, didn't sleep, you didn't even leave your room. You just didn't exist anymore, like you had died with him.

Moashi had tried to contact you, calling and texting you constantly. He wanted to go over the will. His will.

But you just couldn't bring yourself to answer him, or to check your phone, or even to look over to see it.

A week or two or however long into your depressive episode, your father came into your room. He was holding a plate of food and a glass of water, looking just as bad as you.

"I brought you food." Toshinori whispered like you were ready to break at any moment. Maybe you were, or maybe it was too late, and you were already broken, instead, he was being careful of the pieces of your heart that were scattered around.

You didn't even spare him a glance, still staring at the ceiling. "I'm not hungry." You didn't even sound like you, voice rough and damaged. Vocal cords fried from unuse.

"You must eat. You cannot keep living like this. What would Mirai-" Your father started, and you shot up out of your bed.

"Stop. Don't you fucking dare use his name. You have no right to even think of him." You growled, getting up out of your messy bed. You hadn't changed your clothes from that day, your life was slowly slipping away from you, and even doing basic tasks seemed impossible. You knew you smelt, you knew you were a disgusting mess, and you could feel the grime and filth from lack o personal hygiene and care. But you just couldn't.

Your head swam from the sudden movement, your body trying to shut down on you. You felt weak and disorientated, and the constant gnawing hunger pains ate away at you. Your teeth ached, your head and body itched, your body and mind just hurt.

"Do you have any idea how horrible it was to live with you? Oh, sorry, to live by myself? I used to get bullied for trying to tell everyone you were my dad, it got so bad that I stopped talking at one point because every day people were telling me to kill myself. I used to not eat, and did you ever notice? No! Because All Might didn't have a daughter, so he was never home. He was there for every fucking person in Japan but his daughter. There were times when I didn't come home, and you didn't even notice wasn't there. Did you even care if I ate? What I do? You let me fail an assignment because it was just too much of a bother. Who do you think took care of you when you almost died? Where were you all the times I stayed home because I was sick?" Your voice was raw, and your throat burned from the agony of yelling at him. But you didn't care, you didn't even have any tears left to cry. You had nothing left.

"Mirai was always there to kiss my wounds, he came to everything. Ever wondered if I know how to play instruments? What my hobbies are? Mirai did! He encouraged me to pursue what I loved and came to all my plays, and performances, kept every drawing I made him, every craft I did." You fell to the floor, exhausted. You looked up to Toshinori Yagi, the stranger you've lived with for the past sixteen years. He was not your father, he never had been, your real father, the man who loved you unconditionally and wholeheartedly was dead. And he was never coming back.

"I hate you, I wished I had never been born to a man like you. You're not my father, you've never been my father. You should've died instead of him." You spoke your truth, glare downright murderous as you watched the horrified man in front of you. You felt no regret as he started to tear up, clutching his damaged side in pain.

You'd live up to your promises to your father, but you'd also never come to regret the words you uttered to the man who you shared blood with.

Just because you shared blood with someone, that did not automatically make them family.

___________________________________________

Holy shit;;;;; that was 4,538 words. Longest one-shot I ever fucking wrote. My computer is literally slowing down because I wrote this all on Tumblr lmaooo

Kinda don't like the ending, but I had so much fun writing this,,,, THANK YOU SO MUCH WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS, at first I was nervous because 'oh no how tf do I write this' but then it just started FLOWIN gyat dayum.

anyways, little notes incase you were wondering,,

Reader was abandoned by her mom after she was born, and mummy dearest managed to hand her back to toshi before she disappeared,,later she died pretty young, so, unfortunately, kiddo will never meet her. Toshi wanted to leave her because he couldn't deal with a child, but sir felt an instant connection with her and wanted her,,so he really did raise her but toshi saw how cute she was and was just like 'it wont be hard to raise a child right?' how wrong he was,,over time sir started to hate toshi, meaning his room isn't decked out in all might merch and isn't as harsh on deku and mirio when they come around,,if anything, kiddo made him much softer than he is in anime, because he knows what its like to be a dad(tm),, he never took her back because he didn't want her to hate toshi, so he just kept his anger to himself. (meaning he ain't creepy to bubble girl, thinking if anyone did that to his daughter hed fuckin kill them),,in his will, he left the agency to centipder so thats still the same, but he's under strict directions to train reader to one day take over the agency for her own, not caring that shes quirkless. Reader and all might will never make up, and when he dies, she will not feel regret nor sadness over his death, she will silently hate deku from the sidelines, and will be an endeavor fan (ick) ([okay sorry that want little but I love her-])

[allthecanadianpolitics]

I was wondering if you or your followers could help with this question. I'm in my mid 20s and I live in Ontario and have such a hard time finding a job. I haven't finished my bachelors because of my mental health and I unfortunately haven't had any work experience because of depression and anxiety. If any of you have been in this situation with no work experience, what did you do to get a job? I've done volunteering for experience and applied to lots of jobs but never heard back :(

I wish I could help. I’m in a similar situation, but I’m BC. Have a Diploma and Bachelors in my field and have been job searching for the past 1.5 years with no success. Don’t have enough work experience because outside of summer jobs inbetween semesters I have little to show and Covid hit during my 3rd and 4th year where I planned to volunteer and get summer work experience. 🥲

I’m trying to network with local colleges to see if I can at least volunteer, but besides just applying every day I don’t know what else to do. I’m in my 30’s so it feels like I’m losing my chance to have a career if something doesn’t happen soon.

[daisyvisions]

I'm currently in such a depressive episode just because it hit me that can't have jacob like 🤌 why is life like this 🙃

Don't mind me i just needed to let out the cobie feels otherwise i will go insane 🗿

(other than that heyyy how are you? I hope that you are doing okie 😶😶)

aww no it's okay babe you can always let out the Cobie feels here 🫂 I get you (bcos that's me with hyunjae huhu)

honestly? I feel like im suffering a really bad brain fog, since getting back from the holiday's we've been working at full speed and I was given more responsibilities bcos they moved my position to something a bit higher (but I wouldnt say its a promotion)

like I have all this motivation to write and im excited to write but the brain power is gone by the time I feel like writing 🥲 plus! our work hours shifted earlier so my body's still trying to get used to it too! but I swear im gonna try writing because I am DELAYED with writing some stuff jsknksjndfds

other than that I think im okay, everything's gonna pass so nothing too bad on my end! Hope everything's okay with you too babe!!

[crepesuzette2023]

Questions for 'Brian Manages (Sole Direction)' please!

7. What inspired the idea for the plot?

8. What inspired the title for this fic? Is that usually how you choose titles?

24. Did you write every scene in order? What was the first scene you wrote, and what was the last?

(behind the scenes fiction ask game)

Thank you for asking!

7��What inspired the plot?

I was closely following the prompt:

1968. paul is losing john to yoko. his relationship with jane (and seemingly everyone) is falling apart. he doesn’t know what to do or what went wrong. except, in this au, brian is still alive and does his job - keeping lennon and mccartney together. happy ending. john/paul endgame. basically just wish fulfillment 🥲 I love fic where brian just KNOWS them and reads them both like a book and, well, manages them.

I thought this prompt left room for exactly one possible plot, so you can imagine my surprise when I read @theoldmixer's completely different prompt fill! I knew I wanted to start at the beginning of the year 1968, when things started to go awry, and have Brian back at his desk by the time they're in India. In my mind, he had to be a different, sober, stronger person than he was in '67, which made me come up with the idea of some kind of therapy/ soul-searching having gone on prior to his return to work. The Brian who could have prevented the miscommunications and conflicts of '68 would have to be someone confident and less fearful of losing the Beatles than '67 Brian at his most depressed. That gave me the idea of his extended stay at the Priory to work himself out of his personal shadow and valley of death. It also felt 'obvious' to me that the story would be from Brian's POV, and it wasn't until much later that I realized the prompt actually suggests Paul's POV! I wanted Brian amongst his boys, Brian front and center, and I definitely wanted to make sure he was okay in the end, like J&P.

8—What inspired the title?

With the title, I again followed the prompt, which ends on "...Brian manages them." And because I was so frustrated with John and Paul (and myself, see below) while writing this story, I gave it the working title " Brian manages the dumbasses." Fortunately, I came across the concept of Brian taking "sole direction" in the Lewisohn book, and I thought it sounded good, and honestly kind of hot, and made it the eventual title. Also, sole/soul, wink wink, groan...

24—Did you write every scene in order?

I did have an outline, and the beginning as it is was the first thing I wrote. But I got badly stuck with the scene between Brian and Paul. In honor of Brian's love of theater, I wanted the scene to be two people talking, with meaningful beats of silence and A+ dialogue and...aarrrrgh, I just really hit a wall. So I skipped ahead and wrote the remaining scenes next. I knew I wanted to end with Brian and Nat 'almost flirting' at the bar, and then some J/P, um, activities to close out. I think the Brian/Paul conversation was was the last thing I finished.

[lifespectator]

https://www.tumblr.com/lifespectator/723428522718347264/httpswwwtumblrcomlifespectator72342688947103?source=share

I used to be so good in Valorant but then this huge academic depression hit me and then I had to uninstall all my games and bury myself in school works but now I'm back I suck at every game that I play even in minecraft... FUCKING MINECRAFT!!!! dhwjkfhwhfiwhfw

also... it's almost your bedtimeeeeee

-Liho

Oohhh!! That explains it :( sorry to hear that. But on the bright side, you now have time get good at those games again :D. Speaking of minecraft (when I used to play it), it took me a while to get decent (yup I was still building dirt houses 😭😭). Plus, I used to love creepers a lot but then one somehow sneeked up on me, blew up and killed my dog, so now I hate them forever 🥲

Yup, it was and I fell asleep 😅. Sorry for responding late btw. How are you doing rn??

[kiwibubbles5]

Painful Story Time (Unus Annus)

So. I have more strict parents, and I wasn't allowed free reign on the internet and YouTube until... Maybe around the start of high school? So like 2018-ish. I was super busy with school and depression and anxiety lol, so even once I was allowed to watch YouTube, it took me a while to get into it. My brother loved DanTDM so he was one of the main channels I watched. I found LaurenZside and Let's Game It Out, too. And... That was about all I had the brainspace for. I did not go looking for other content. I did not watch recommended videos. I didn't have time to be curious enough to check out new things.

My brother watched a very few Markiplier videos. Showed me Markiplier Makes: Pie. Showed the family a couple Heist paths. I watched them for my brother. I couldn't fathom trying to get into a new channel myself. I heard little whispers of unus annus. Saw an unusual number of black and white spiral profile pics. Heard some boys at school chanting "UNUS ANNUS UNUS ANNUS."

And, look, in truth, I know it wouldn't have really worked. With everything that happened?! The FIRST video was COOKING WITH SEX TOYS. And there was...... just... so much nudity. My parents would have freaked out. I wasn't into that kind of humor at that point.

But looking back now. Knowing. Being able to remember those little whispers. Knowing that I'd seen a couple videos. It just... it hurts to know how close I was. Close to having been there. Having been a part of this beautiful amazing thing, having this thing to share with the rest of the community. Knowing the ins and outs of what happened. Having seen all the videos. I was just... so painfully close.

And now it's too late. I subbed to Mark toward the beginning of 2022. I was a over a year too late. I see fanart, fan videos, compilations. Sometimes it just hits me. I can't say it hurts more than those of you who experienced it, but it hurts in a different, special kinda way. And I cry. I haven't watched the vids Mark and Ethan posted yesterday yet. I will. I know I'll cry. I was so close and now it's so far. So unreachable. Cuz, like, I know there's archives. I could watch them all. But I won't. I couldn't. And if I did, I'd feel awful. It'd feel wrong. I can never go back.

So... I guess for me, Unus Annus taught me to be curious. To investigate. And, to not write off things just because they're mainstream. Cuz even when I knew my brother was watching some Markiplier, and I got most of my YouTube recommendations from him lol, I also knew Mark was popular. And I didn't wanna go check something out and get into it just because it was popular. But what I sorta ended up doing was avoiding something just because it was popular. Never really checking it out for myself. Until it was too late to be a part of this exclusive thing. So, yeah. Unus Annus is affecting even people who can only see the remains, the clips, the ghost. 🥲 Memento mori.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Hey also side note. Something I've been anxiously afraid of being lowkey judged for just because of the weight of ua and the fact I wasn't really there and all but I must confess. I'd seen tons of people making their own unus annus outfits and merch and such, but I am not artistically talented in those ways. So I turned to Etsy~

I wanted something to hold onto, to support and to have and just - even though I wasn't there. Even though it isn't official merch.

It makes my heart feel kinda sparkly

I wear it all the time except at work cuz my boomer manager would yell at me for wearing a hat

[ahdriking]

hi Ahdri, it's the very patient anon from before. oh wow, can't believe we're HERE! you made it!!!! I'm super excited to read it, even more than before, but also I've been hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia... I'll miss everything about the journey we've been thru, even the wait 🥲

obviously as I've survived this long already, I'm keeping cool and still waiting for the epilogue. but I've just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and your hard work. I'm sure I'll love every line and every word of BB just as I did with other fics you've written so far. you're absolutely amazing and I'll follow your future stories as well.

sending you head pats and see you in the BB comments! ❤️ (you bet I'm gonna scream at every chapter when I finally get the story in my hands)

(going thru my inbox for old messages I was too depressed to reply to at the time so sorry for the late reply!)

PATIENT ANON we arrived at the end!!! It's finished!!! And what a journey it was, oh my. I have so much nostalgia from writing blue blood that i'll carry with me forever honestly, so I'm glad it's something you can look back on fondly as well.

Thank you for your appreciation!! Without even having read it, I felt the love and support of so many people who were observing the journey from the outside and (un)patiently waiting for me to finish, you being one of them! Knowing that so many people were so excited for the finished product was a huge motivational boost!

I'm so excited to know what you thought!! You have to tell me whether you've commented already or not cos I've had a few people leaving lots of comments as they've gone through (which has been fucking awesome and i've loved it so much) Love you anon!!! 🥰🥰

[enchantedlyhooked]

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ 

*depression, PTSD, medicating, paralysis, burnout, numbness, death* 

•••

First of all, I can’t believe Stranger Things went THERE. And I’m kind of pissed ‘cause *SPOILER* *YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!* Max Mayfield is in a coma right now! But she better be fucking okay in the end 🙃

Making this edit was kind of hard because I underwent a period (long ass period) of major burnout, ESPECIALLY DURING FREAKING QUARANTINE! & apparently that can lead to depression like symptoms and evidently cause me to have more meltdowns & shutdowns. Long story short, I was a mess. I mean who wasn’t, or isn’t right now? It is true what they say when they unchecked can often lead to bad physical ailments.. bad mental health stresses you out, go figure 🙃 Just so everyone knows, burnout and meltdowns are not fun and it’s been “a joy” 🥲  Now that I am just now recouping I feel that it is a good time to post this edit, and hopefully it let's some people know that there is truly hope & a light at the end of that dark tunnel you may currently be looking down. I'm still not completely cured, Idk if you can be but I do know I am doing a hell of a lot better than I was and honestly I'm feeling more now. I'm not just allowing myself to feel, but I am physically; mentally; emotionally able to feel again. OOOOH I should listen to FEEL AGAIN BY One Republic -- this is a perfect time for that song right now, kind of fits.

ANYWAYS…

BEHIND THE EDIT: That scene where it looks like Max is having a sleep paralysis is legit me; both having sleep paralysis & just overall freaking out. Safe to say Max’s storyline for season 4 of Stranger Things hit a little too hard. Though what she went through isn’t EXACTLY what I’ve been through it was similar enough that I felt it, and broke down a couple times watching her scenes. She went through grief and guilt, and I went through the same just under different circumstances. 

WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?: After I stopped isolating myself, it took auditioning for a theatre show (and not chickening out), getting it, and hanging around the coolest people that have brought a form of love back into my life. However, I still need to make sure to keep my mental health in check (a constant work in progress), so as not to fall back into that deep dark pit of despair & burn out.

To conclude,  no one from the ‘Season of La Llorona’ cast follows me but I just want to give my absolute gratitude to them, and the director for casting me. When I started rehearsals, I started to feel better, and I even reached out to a couple of friends that I fell out of touch with (as this song says; yeah this song hits deep, and I felt EVERY word). Now I get what my acting lll instructor meant when he said “Theatre saved me.” It for sure has saved and helped me big time! 

If you are struggling please know that you can always talk to me; I know I may sometimes put off the vibe that I don’t want to talk but I do and I want to help as well. You Are Not Alone. 

Ps, I know I ended the EDIT on a downer, but fucking blame Stranger Things  #JusticeForMax  💜🖤

•••

AC - Me *edited* 

Original Song - Numb Little Bug by @embeiholdhold

CC - Me 

DT - Anna [finally made that Max edit lmao… took me ions] 

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! Gossip Girl here! ❤️ I'm actually doing pretty goodish right now! Me and My friends on Campus actually ended up getting really really really lucky hurricane wise where we were! Even though it basically ran right over us, we were on the Eastern Coast of Florida right when Ian went from like a Category three into a tropical storm again (and then did you see right after it got back on the ocean it build up into a hurricane again!) ! That alone was a part of a miracle really for me too because it meant that even though my college canceled classes they didn't force us to evacuate either. If they had I probably wouldn't have had anywhere to go (where I would have felt safe in) that was out of the path since they waited until they day before it hit Florida to tell us we could go (which made everyone mad). So in the end I basically ended up staying in more dorm for almost all of the week with my suitemate and friends snaking on the food we had in our cabinets! It really ended up being constant rain and very very windy and the power did go out for a bit. And then my campus also got very lucky, even though we had one of the highest rain amounts, we didn't have major flooding all over because of we aren't right on the beach and a little higher up! There was one parking lot at the bottom of a hill though that got completely flooded and I saw pictures of people actually swimming in it after Ian had kinda left! And we have some planes on campus that were like tied to the tarmac with chains and on one plane a few of the chains actually broke and the plane ended up getting turned around by Ian! But yeah! Over all I actually got very very luck with how it ended up for me! I saw the news and like social media all the videos of what it did to the west coast and like Sanible Island😭😭 I know a good number of friends who have family in the areas that got hit bad😭 I'm also just very much keeping them in my prayers! Cuba and Puerto Rico to!😔 Cuba got hit by Ian right before Florida did and the Puerto Rico got hit by another one pretty hard only like a week or so before 😖 Plus I saw the other day they there is already a 80% chance depression/storm/hurricane forming in almost the exact spot Ian did with in like 5 days! 

But other than that I'm doing pretty well! I already did start classes again this Monday and have basically had a test every day of the week to make up for what was missed🥲 And I did try writing and got maybe a paragraph or two more done but then there ended up being like two of my others friends in the room and more in the room next door and they were all in here and kept getting both distracted and nervous about writing in front of them! 😂Plus I didn't want my phone do die while the power was out and I wanted to save the life in the portable charger I had just in case. And since all my teachers are trying to catch on on what was missed I feel like I have more work this week! But tomorrow is my like one day where I have a longer break and I may try to force myself to write then to self motivate😅! Even if it's not one of my current stories I may try do do sometime for one of the head cannons ideas I have that are shorter and don't require as much grammar checking😅😂

I'll totally have to look at that App too! I don't mind too much not being able to use photos. I guess I can just put spaces in the spots where I want them to go and put them in when I go to post! I see if I can get it! (Also I'm interested in what "Drunk Tommy" means 🤫😂) 

Re-blogging is pretty cool! Sometimes I'm scared to reblog my own stuff on my own b/c again anxiety and there's a little voice in my head that tells me it's just repeating what's been seen so don't bother. But I know that it's stupid because I've seen others reblog their own stuff (especially time zone re blogs) before even if it's not to respond to someone else and no one seems to mind at all! I probably should do it more but I'm also kinda scared if I do it someone will be like why do you keep re blogging your old stuff and rarely post new or what not. But idk? I think I need to write more before I can re blog what I write😂 I'm also probably a moron too because I really didn't understand what reblogging  was when I first got on, and even now I'm still not use to it. I only got on here like a year or two ago and didn't realise that it did more than just liking. So if there was a story I really really liked and wanted to say something, I would end up just commenting on it instead of re blogging. Then I learned to reblog is better but I'm still not too use to it, especially when my anxiety about interacting gets the better of me:( but I am trying to do it more (when I am active) because like you said I like seeing how people interact and get excited over the ideas! When I'm to nervous to interact by reblogging though I do try and like send an anon comment though and let them know I liked it that way, which probably isn't as "good" but still! (Kinda like how we started this😂) 

Ok I just realized how long this is getting so I'm gonna send this part and then I'll write the next part and send that so it's not like a super super long thing😂 See you soon!

Xoxo Gossip Girl

Hey GG!! finally my answer and sorry for the time it took me, but better late than ever, and it’s good  to have a couple of things to talk about... I hope you are doing great, and that school’s going good too, you must be close to test dates or something by now.

I know its been a while since the hurricane, but I’m glad to hear everything went well and you and your friends were safe. :) I know what you mean, it must be pretty scary to have to evacuate, sometimes those natural disasters take away everything. Oh no! I wouldn’t know what to do in that kind of situation, and everything around must be very chaotic. Really? Just a day before? That’s a terrible organization, no wonder everybody got mad, I mean apart from the scary times and they do that??? pff -.-

But it’s a good thing that you were with your friends, some good company during the storm days and to pass time, how did you cope with that? It must have been frustrated to know that uni had some flooding, but thankfully it wasn’t a big damage. Oh wow the plane “swimming” around must’ve been shocking!! So even though Ian was a storm, it was heavy *shocked* I saw some news to, families lost everything, there were small boats trying to find survivors, people crying over the destruction, I mean working all of heir lives and then watching everything destroyed :( What? I didn’t know Cuba and Puerto Rico were damaged to, they didn’t cover a lot of that on the news :/ but I hope things are getting better for everybody now that’s been some time, I will keep them in my prayers as well! ❤ Hurricane times are now gone luckily, it’s been quite a year huh? In Mexico city had an earthquake on the very same day that a previous one happened, they were actually doing a simulacrum and it happened at even the same time of the day (statistically it’s almost impossible, yet it happened).

Let me know how is school going now, and best of luck with homework/tests for you, don’t forget to take some rest from time to time, I know students have lots of pressure. Haha so you don’t like to write with noise around huh? Right? The distractions ugh are so frustrating haha I hope later you found some time on your own to do some writing, it’s been the best therapy for me *hearts* oh they don’t that you write!!!! And then they start asking questions, the same happens to me haha and it’s so hard to keep lying about it well yes in that case the battery was more important to see the news and stay in touch... ohh tell me did you write later on your day off?? I’ve tried to keep up with some stories and I have a couple of new Tommy one shots under my sleeve that I try to post one part of each per week. We’ve been sending some gifs around, I find that inspiration hits a lot from a gif. Oh please share some of those ideas! I’m curious now haha have to confess a secret, I’ve been reading some Alfie stories written by amazing people here and I’m starting to like those a lot.

Good thing there are a lot of options to use, depending of what you need :) ohh that drunk Tommy story is this one haha I just had to write it as the general idea of the story. Oww babes no, don’t be scared, just do it! ;) you see, sometimes you need to be your own cheerleader first, so it’s fine to re-blog your own work. Yeah I sometimes read a story that was just posted, and reblog later or the next day, thinking someone  who didn’t saw the original post will be able to see it. Sharing is caring right? But also reblogging something is a nice way to find new stories ;) otherwise I wouldn’t be able to find some amazing stories around (hoping to see some of your somewhere down he road) oh don’t worry I’m a moron too, because I used to reply to rb in the comments box, then I understood the power of rb :) really? So you’ve been around for a while! I’m about to turn 1 year old lol I remember clearly because my first post was a Tommy/Charlie Xmas photo super cute. I feel the same I was so shy at first but here I am reblogging smut 24/7haha and non smut stories as well... but don’t be shy, everybody is so kind and caring here, I am surprised by the amount of love online, in comparison to what I get irl, anyway whatever way you choose to interact is more than alright, I’d say :) and it makes me so so happy to see you around GG.

Al right, so I only have one message in my drafts, i will try to answer that one tomorrow, in the mean time I hope you’re doing just fine and your weekend is going good, I’m about to catch a Xmas movie

 And do some writing too :)

Have you seen the new version of GG? I didn’t see all the first series but I think I will stick to that one...

Alright, have a good night GG xoxo

[esprei]

As a long time submas fan, I fell out of pokemon when I went to college actually because I was just so busy with schoolwork- And then when Sw/Sh got announced and they eeby deebied like half the pokemon I really lost interest in the franchise outside of fan works and like. some of the merch I collect (plush dolls :) ) BUT I will tell you I was so confused when I saw Hisui Ingo on my insta dash one day and I was like huh that guy looks familiar and then I clicked on it and started scrolling and I looked it up and i'm like INGO??? MY BLORBO??? MENACING TRAIN CLOWN??? IS POPULAR???? AND HE'S DEPRESSED WHO DID THIS WHO GREENLIT THIS WHO SAID "YEA MAKE HIM SUFFER-" and the angst hit feckin hard I ended up buying PLA because I was so curious and then just like. stared at a wall for ten minutes after the part where he takes you through a cave I was so sad-

I also ended up getting my sister to become a submas fan as well tho so at least now I have someone to share my hyperfixation with- But yea my other friends who liked the twins from B/W Are just like "the angst? We do not see it. Ingo is still happy with Emmet driving trains around so help me Arceus :)"

omg wow i can only imagine how hard those lines he said about chandelure and emmet hit i go back and watch that part now and while i don't think it has quite the same effect on me because i've only known about him for a few months it still hurts 😭

and yeah i don't blame your friends alkdsjflsjkf if i were them i'd probably say that too 🥲

[lovely-renard]

hii léna, congrats for reaching 300 followers! i hope you reach many more!

i'd like to participate in your match up event, please!

i am an infj-t, cancer female (think cancer sun, mercury, mars AND venus, and then we have libra moon and rising). i love to read, write, work out (both in the gym and outside like hiking or riding a bike), i love to bake too! i used to figure skate for a long time but then i got injured, and only recently i started coaching beginners at my club!

my favourite book series are Child 55 ( post ww2 soviet union, thriller), A court of thorns and roses ( young adult, fantasy) and throne of glass (also ya and fantasy). I generally love reading books that keep me at the edge f my seat. my favourite tv shows are vikings, the walking dead, brooklyn 99, and also grey's anatomy. my favourite songs are typically pop, anything i can dance to- think doja cat, ariana grande, but i also really like chase atlantic and rammstein sooo 😅

my fashion style is comfy and casual, on most days i am in athleisure, but otherwise i like neutral colours and light green. i love wearing high waisted pants and crop tops with chunky sneakers, and i love love summer dresses (that i have in all sorts of colours).

i used to be a medical student until not long ago, and i decided to start over as an English lit student. Medicine has and will always be my love, but it was too hard on me, and the quarantine didn't help a lot. Depression hit me HARD lol, so I am still piecing myself back together.

i am around 5'6, i have shoulder length wavy dark brown hair (it used to be longer but i cut it short recently), and brown eyes, i also wear glasses. all the lifting gave me a bit wider shoulders and thicker thighs, and i am a bit insecure about my stomach (it used to be more lean, now it is not the case 🥲).

For the fandom, I'd like to choose a Haikyuu guy!

tysm, and i hope you reach more milestones soon! stay safe xx

I match you with ... Iwaizumi Hajime ♡

Your relationship song : Killer Queen (Queen)

The sun may be awake, but this doesn’t mean it had to wake you up in the process. A simple glance at your phone tells you it’s way too early to start your day. Sighing, you put the phone back on the nightstand and turn around, searching blindly for the warmth of your boyfriend. “Haji…” you whine, hand patting the mattress to grasp his arm. When you only encounter the covers, you open your eyes again and realize he’s not by your side anymore.

Right, it may be too early for you but never for Hajime.

Reluctantly, you push the cover off your body, put on the first hoodie that encounter your way and open the bedroom’s door. Immediately meeting a pleasant smell. That only means one thing: your boyfriend’s cooking the breakfast.

Quietly, you make your way down the stairs, peeking from the doorway to eye him. He’s shirtless (meaning you have a perfect view of his back muscles, which is enough to make you drool), moving around effortlessly while preparing coffee and scrambled eggs just the way you like them. Before he can spot you, you make your way towards him, arms outstretched so you can hug him backwards. He doesn’t jolt nor say anything when he feels your presence, only putting one hand over both of yours.

“Morning, dove. Had a good sleep?”

You nod, grumbling about how the sun was mean for waking you up this early which makes him chuckles.

“Go sit, I’ll bring the food in a minute.” “No, wanna stay with you…” you refuse, still a bit sleepy.

“As you wish, ma’am.” He mocks you gently, patting your hand one last time before returning his attention to the stove with you clinging on his back like a koala. Another peaceful and lovely morning for both of you.

[i-like-potatoes]

omg just realized park hae young also wrote 'my mister'. is this why i like it so much. my mister is my top 3 dramas ever. i was actually going to rewatch it again because it helped me out before but i kinda wanted a new story so i gave mln a try and i'm glad i did! wow... omg so i finished. the ending 😭 i'm just hoping he's taking that money and going to mijeong and living a life that he actually wants. also my heart when chang hee sat in class for the funeral director, and i suddenly thought that was such an appropriate thing for him tho im not sure that was the class he intended?? im not too clear on that cus it looked like he passed that door and then stumbled in there and realized it wasnt the right one but then the whole thing about his feet takes him where he should be, where he belongs 🥺 oh god i loved these characters and i feel like they did a good job at showing their stories and im satisfied with how it ended. it gave me about the same feeling the end of my mister did :') hopeful. i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine. when the end they want to restart the club until it works, i'd join 🥲 why do i feel like i just finally let my children live their lives at the end of this ;-; also about your comment on the intros, i didnt this time and now i regret it 😩 i was just too eager to start the show so i only ever watched it the first time and skipped it jfgjf but what a lovely detail to do that, id have to check it out. and ty for your thoughts. tbh im not doing that great in the 'having someone to talk' to department. this year seems to be a year of loss for me. i lost my bf when he just left (so gu just leaving like that kinda hit a little hard) and then i lost one of my bestfriends, bc my depression was/is becoming too heavy and i stopped talking and replying for weeks and they took it as i didnt care anymore. and what mijeong said early on, about how u dont do anything and u feel exhausted and every relationship feels like work.. thats how i felt with the situation and yeah. i regret how things ended but maybe its a lesson i needed to learn. but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

hello again, anon!

yes, she did. i haven't seen any other dramas written by park hae young, but i have heard praises about her writing. it looks like you really love 'my mister.' i'll definitely take a look at it when i have nothing to watch.

the ending is really great and i loved it very much (i wrote my thoughts about it too, you can see it here if you're curious). i love the symbolism shown through that coin; like it's trying to say that everything's not lost and you can still pick yourself up again.

and yes! changhee's ending is one of my absolute favorites. you're right, that class was not the one he meant to attend. but it's one of my favorites because it's about him finally coming to the conclusion that that might be his purpose given all the experiences he had with the people closest to him dying.

i felt really hopeful for the characters and myself as well. i'm glad it did the same to you. and i really mean it when i say i'm glad it made you feel something.

i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine.

agree to what you said! it's so much more than a drama as it allows you to look at your life as well.

(you can save the intros for your rewatch session!)

and about what you're going through, i'm really sorry to hear that. but i want to let you know that you're not alone in how you feel. as a person with depression, i also find myself wanting to be isolated from others, both personally and virtually. i feel too much burdened and feel like a burden. i also know how it is when it affects the relationships you have with people you really treasure.

what i want to tell you right now is please take care of yourself. please get professional help if you can afford it. if not, don't forget that you still need to take care of you. try to get enough sleep, try to eat at the right time, stay hydrated, and try to take a little shower if you think that will make you feel better. it's not easy, but after doing that, you can pat yourself on the back and say, "you did a good job."

i mentioned before that i see myself in mijeong a lot. i knew it was because of this. the way she dreads every single day and has to play the role of a woman who is loved — it hit too close to home. to be fair, i dropped my liberation notes at episode 2, not because i did not like it, but because i relate to it so much that it was getting too heavy. is this why we relate to it so much? anyway, i picked it up again thanks to that i have found something that makes me delighted every time i talk about it.

but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

cheers to that! we can say that we're just lost right now, and that's fine. we can be filled with hope and be hopeful too, anon. i'm wishing the best for us 🧡

[cognacdelights]

hiii bestie 💛 how are you?

i do literally send you an ask whenever i’m drunk it’s become my ritual when i go to the bathroom hahaha the cure for my lack of communication in lockdown, which you’ll never guess got extended again 🥲 but yeah we’re getting vaccine passports but i don’t think it’s being reviewed till the end of november to see if we can start opening back up as normal

and unsure if new years will happen, it’s all pretty reliant on the main city coming out and every city hitting 90% vaccinated, but it’s also such a big risk to let them go ahead. the biggest festival said they would only go ahead if that city was at the lowest alert level, and theyre still getting 100 cases a day so if they allowed people from there to go it risks it spreading to the rest of the country if that makes sense

i hope things are going okay for you at the moment though, i’m back on my lockdown depression but have to focus on my last two exams lol

#💛

hi bestie! 💛

i’m okay right now, but this last week has been pretty bad for me /: had waves up being up and down and just not entirely sure what’s going on? but went to a pumpkin trail with my friends, carved some pumpkins for the first time, watched some youtube vids and done some writing and feeling a little better! how are you?

it’s okay haha i love being your go to person that you message when you’re drunk 😂 oh no it’s been extended again? that’s so shitty but i guess that it’s kind of expected when cases are rising like that :(

i think it’s always good to be hopeful with these things because it gives people reason to follow the rules because there’s something for them to work up to you know? it’s just shitty in the mean time

first of all, good luck on your last two exams! let me know how they go! and no bestie i’m sorry :( if there’s anything i can do let me know! and i’m always here if you need to talk! 💛