#timezone guide

[terribleinfluence-tour]

We've put together a time zone guide for the Australian and New Zealand TIT Shows, so that everyone is able to track what time M+G and the shows start!

If you are wanting to know what time the show will start in your time zone, most shows have an expected start of 8pm. To find this time in your zone, add 3 hours :)! We apologise that we are not able to include every time zone in this guide, but attached to this post is a world clock site in which you can look up your time zone and add the dates you are wanting to track + it also comes in a mobile app!

https://www.worldtimebuddy.com/ We are so excited for the AU/NZ leg of Terrible Influence, and are so keen to bring you any tour content that pops up along the way!💜💙

[0vergrowngraveyard]

nine visits the villain au part 2: wtf is wrong with this guy????

part one: (X)

part three: (nonexistent)

[the-cosmicbeans]

I still think about that one PIT cutscene where you meet Fawful, and how he KNEW he had some pretty bad issues. And then he just brushes it off... like Fawful please this is NOT going to end well 😭

[ssaalexblake]

Happy Birthday @yetanothercriminalmindsfanatic !!!

[lilliankillthisman]

They call me the post deleter the way i remove all online presence i have bc i just feel like it

Deleting posts is honourable behaviour. Committed Lilliankillthismanheads know that the bottom quartile of my posts exist on a timer of about one minute to ~ a day before they annoy me and I delete them. What you see scrolling my blog is the good stuff.

[blackpearlblast]

you can give seven days of internet connection to someone in gaza for just 6 USD

gazaesims.com is a website dedicated to helping people donate esims for people in gaza. (for the ultimate guide to donating an esim, see http://tinyurl.com/gaza-esims) there are multiple options for where to purchase an esim to donate, for the price i listed you want to use nomad esims. you can get a $3 discount by using someone's referral code from the notes of this post. it also will give the referrer credit to buy more esims! (you can only use a referral code on your first purchase) @/fairuzfan also a tag for esim referral codes here, some of which are nomad. BACKPACKNOMAD is another code to get $3 off your first purchase, it's been working for some people but not others so try out a referral code instead if you can't get it to work. also it took over an hour for the email with my information to come through so don't panic if it doesn't show up right away. (logging back into your nomad account seems to have helped some people get their emails to send!) NOMADCNG is a code for 5% off any middle east region nomad esims from connecting gaza. it can be used on any purchase, not just your first but is generally going to give less off than the first-purchase only codes, so use those first. it can be used in combination with nomad points. AWESOME NEW CODE: nomad esim discount code for 75% off any plan, NOMADCS25 do not know how long it lasts but this is an amazing deal esp. since they are really low on esims right now! (nomad promo codes do not work on plans that are already on sale, unlimited plans, and plans under $5)

weekly tuesdays only code on nomad web, PST timezone! it gives 10% off plans 10gb and above. NOMADTUE

for the month of may, first time referrals give 25% off for a person's first purchase and 25% off the referrer's next purchase! it's a great time to use someone's referral code from the notes if you are a first time buyer.

troubleshooting hint 1: if you are trying to pay through paypal, make sure you have pop-ups enabled! otherwise the payment window won't be able to appear.

troubleshooting hint 2: if you are trying to purchase an esim using the provider's app, it may block you from purchasing if your phone does not fit the requirements to install and use their esims. use their website in your browser instead and this problem should go away.

edit as of 5/21/24: holafly (israel and egypt), nomad (regional middle east), simly (palestine and middle east), mogo (israel), and airalo (discover) are currently in the highest in demand. here is a purchase guide i made that covers all of the esim platforms, including these three platforms. if it has been more than 3 weeks since you initially sent your esim and your esim has not been activated, you can reforward your original email with the expiration date in the subject line. you can see gothhabiba’s guide for how to tell if your esims have been activated. if your esim has expired without use, you can contact customer service to renew or replace it.

[differenttriumphdragon]

Pro-Tip: No matter which way around you do it, playing cross-platform in Infinity Nikki is a fucking NIGHTMARE

[acoolmetalfire]

i have GOT to figure out how to mod+vp

[pochaccoups]

the seven deadly sins — seventeen hyung line ver. (18+)

SEUNGCHEOL —; ENVY

Seungcheol can’t help how often the daggers of jealousy sink into his heart. You’re you, after all. The fucking hot love of his life. He think it’s a little justified that seeing other men make you smile brings out this possessive, protective urge in him, because it’s him that should be making you smile and laugh.

He’s not an asshole though. He’s not the type to punch a guy for checking you out, or even for hitting on you when he’s not by your side. He’s not even the type to intimidate, or humiliate. Your relationship is built upon a steady foundation of trust, and he knows before you even get to tell him that you’ve politely let whoever know that you’re taken.

That means it’s you who’s on the receiving end of his pent up envy.

Harsh, merciless snaps of his hips drive your face deeper into the pillow, make your muffled moans grow louder. Your poor pussy weeps around his cock as it drives in and out of you, as though Seungcheol won’t relent until he’s carved the shape of it into your guts. Until your mind can only think about him, him, him.

It’s his name you sob like you’re praying for forgiveness, his cock that finds a home in your greedy walls, his mouth that marks your skin and leaves a message upon you—you’re being taken care of.

JEONGHAN —; GREED

When Yoon Jeonghan wants something, he will stop at nothing to get it.

You were a smart girl, and he liked that. He wanted to play games with you, and you saw through him. Pretended to play along so you could play your own games and string him along, all in the name of fun. He wanted you—badly. Wanted to make you go dumb, put you in your place. How badly did you want the same thing.

What you quickly learn, however, is that it is not enough for Yoon Jeonghan to finally get what he wants. Even when he’s finally managed to slither his way between your legs, made you cry on his tongue and then his cock, in his eyes remains something akin to hunger.

He needs more.

Seeing you fall apart at his hands has altered something in his brain.

“One more, pretty?” he asks, soft and angelic, as though he hasn’t turned your bones into jelly and filled your head with cotton. He draws circles on your tummy; presses a kiss to your hair in a way that makes you melt for him.

“Can’t, Hannie, ‘s too much,” you mumble, your throat like sandpaper.

“It’ll feel good,” he says, sliding his hand between your legs to play with your poor puffy clit, grinning as you whimper at the contact. “Yeah?”

Your reply comes as a pitiful, broken moan. When he gets you to your high, it comes as a gentle, pulsing wave, but you’ve reached heaven now, and Jeonghan has guided you there. You’re floating, brainless, and as your eyes flutter shut and you drift away into slumber, he knows he has won.

JOSHUA —; PRIDE

Joshua Hong. The man who’s got it all. The face, the body, the voice, the girl.

Every conversation he has is about you, you, you. You’re his phone lockscreen. His social media pages are made up of pictures of you. It’s almost insufferable, the way he doesn’t shut up about how perfect of a partner you are.

He buys you a one-of-a-kind engagement ring. He doesn’t tell you how much it’s worth, but secretly he’ll leak it to the press—a quarter of a million dollars and a two year wait for it to be crafted.

It should come as no surprise that he likes to film you taking his cock. It’s not enough for him to slide his cock into your heat, to bury it snug between your velvety walls—he needs a way of remembering the tight, slippery grip of your pretty cunt pulsing around him, and the shameless, debauched noises you make when he fucks you good. Work means he can be far from you sometimes, and timezones mean you can’t just call, so tapes it is.

They’re strictly for your and his eyes only—of course. However, what crosses his mind too often is a devilish little voice in the back of his head telling him to post it. Just make a burner account. She’ll never know. But he can’t bring himself to do it when the ring on your finger is a promise of his trust.

Instead he’ll leave his phone unlocked, opened on his camera roll where the videos haven’t been tucked away into the hidden folder ‘yet’, or ‘accidentally’ clicking the wrong thing when sending his friends photos and ‘not realising’ until an hour later that he’d exposed to them a short dim clip of him covering your tits with his cum.

He knows they want you. It’s not like they hide their wolfish stares, their drooling mouths, their licked lips. They’ll never have you, though, and he sleeps well at night knowing that. With you in his arms, too.

JUN —; LUST

Junhui is quite a wildcard— a mix of a little bit of every sin. Above all, however, he is just so full of desire. He’s got an unquenchable libido that is heightened when he’s in love. And you are his lucky victim.

It’s the littlest things you do that make him hard. It’s even things you don’t do. It’s the way your tits sit in a low cut top on a blistering summer’s day. It’s the way you like to run your hands through his hair when you’re lounging on the couch together, or sitting at the dinner table. It’s the way you call his name from another room with the sweetest lilt to your voice: “Junieee?”

It’s the way you take him so good, whether you’re bent over the kitchen counter or pressed up against the wall or rolled onto your side first thing in the morning. He’s so greedy for you, for the warm embrace of your wet, fluttering pussy and for the sound of your soft, blissful moans.

It doesn’t help that you’re always so wet, so open and ready for him. Knowing that does terrible things to his sanity. You’re so pliable when he gets his hands on you, so welcoming, letting him play with you as he pleases. You try to play it off as he kisses along your neck and gropes at your nipples through your shirt, pretend like he’s bothering you, but you’re not fooling anyone.

He’ll try to make things quick sometimes, make you cum on his fingers while he kisses you hard, or let you take him down your throat, but then it’s you who’s whining, batting your eyelashes because you want more. He’s ruined you. You’re perfect for him.

HOSHI —; GLUTTONY

Oh, he can’t get enough of you. When he gets his hands (or, well, his mouth) on you, it’s over.

Kwon Soonyoung would spend weeks on end between your legs if he only could. He’d give up food and water and shelter and money if it meant he could survive on your pussy alone. It’s enough sustenance, he swears it.

“Taste so sweet, baby,” he tells you, smeared and glistening with you all down his chin and neck. He's the image of debauchery, indulgence, shamelessness all at once. You look even worse for wear. Sweaty, lips puffy from being bitten, skin burning, hair tousled. Both of you look like sin.

It always starts so innocent. Well, as innocent as your boyfriend using your stomach or tits as a pillow can be. “Just taking a nap,” he’ll insist. Then his fingers start wandering, and his hand is down your pants, and his head is between your thighs.

“Just… Just a lil’ sip, yeah?” he’ll promise, and you never believe him as his tongue dives into your cunt. It’s never been ‘just a sip’. He makes you sob, makes you spill your nectar all over his tongue and drinks it like it’s the blood of the Lord until he’s intoxicated by it, hooked on it, his life depends on it. He’ll keep eating even though he’s full and you’re a quivering, writhing mess, and even then it still won’t be enough.

WONWOO —; WRATH

Wonwoo is not mean. He doesn’t have much of a temper. He’s calm. Patient. Soft-spoken. His best friends of ten years have only seen him yell once. Really, he’s the last person to be described as wrathful.

Somehow, though, you’ve figured out how to get on every last one of his nerves. He’s smitten with you, but fuck if you don’t raise his heart rate sometimes.

“Are you really wearing that out, baby?” he asks, eyes dropping to the where you tug at your miniskirt, only for it to ride back up to just beneath your ass the second you move again.

“Yeah, why?” you reply, tilting your head at yourself in the mirror. “You don’t think I look hot?”

“You do, but—”

“You think I look like a slut?”

“No, love. It’s two degrees out. I don’t want you to freeze.”

“You just don’t want other men looking at me, I get it. God, you’re so controlling.”

You don’t mean it. His jaw still clenches.

Then it’s a never-ending back and forth until you’ve managed to wear out every last thread of his patience, and he’s putting you on your knees and stuffing your mouth full of his cock in return for you putting words in his. He’ll fuck your throat until it’s raw and your mascara bleeds down your face, until his release spills on your tongue and he’s cooing at you to swallow it like a good girl.

Then he’ll ruin your pussy. Flip that stupid little miniskirt up over your ass and give you something to complain about.

WOOZI —; SLOTH

It’s a well-known fact that Jihoon is a laid-back man. Not quite lazy—when it comes to his work he’s very much the opposite. It's just that doesn’t put any more effort into things than he needs to.

His slothful sex habits don’t come from the fact that he thinks you should be doing all the work because he has an ego. It’s nothing like that. It’s that he likes to let you take what you want from him, what you need. Which is why, most of the time, he’ll sit back and let you do exactly that.

With his arms behind his head, he watches with his bottom lip snagged between his teeth as you ride his cock into tomorrow. He’s in no rush to cum. So long as you’re not done with him, he doesn’t feel the need.

You’re a vision, anyway; and him, a sort of voyeur. His head spins only from the sound of your soft, broken moans, your disheveled appearance, the spit and cum and the marks that run down your chest. Your tight pussy is heavenly too, fluttering so temptingly around him, so needy, and he's not even doing anything.

Eventually comes your soft whining. Like clockwork, your hips start to slow, your words edged with exhaustion. “Jihoonie, my thighs hurt…”

"Ah, poor thing," he coos, but even in your fucked-out state you can hear the faux-concern in his words. He reaches for your face, warm and damp with sweat, and cups your cheek, running his thumb over your spit-slicked lips. "You wanted my cock so bad, didn't you? Then take it yourself."

Your thighs burn, and walking will hurt in the morning, but the only way you will get an orgasm and a load from your boyfriend is if you do as he says, so you brace yourself against his chest, and you ride him hard.

[fanged-fanfics]

Umm hello there

May I please request a one shot or headcannon (whatever works best) of black pearl cookie (crk) and fem! YN getting married! Wedding cake cookie got her work cut out for her, that’s for sure…

thank you very much, have a good timezone!

☆ That I'll Never Love A Boy, The Way I Love The Ocean — Black Pearl x Fem Reader ☆

──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Once Wedding Cake Cookie was settled into the Kingdom, she was absolutely thrilled to help you plan! The way you spoke of Black Pearl alone made her gush with well wishes for you both, and she got to work setting up a guide for all the details

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Black Pearl Cookie was... interesting to work with. She was very picky when it came to dresses, and tended to use really strong language to show her disapproval (mostly noting things about 'weak land Cookies')

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Nevertheless, Wedding Cake was determined to help! This wasn't her first time dealing with a metaphorical (or literal) monstrous client, and within no time you two had dresses and a bouquet all picked out, while she worked on the venue and extra details

ᯓᡣ𐭩 On the day of, the skies were darkened and gloomy. A setting Black Pearl found most fitting, a small grin on her lips behind the veil. She was escorted down the aisle by Frilled Jellyfish, all her sisters in the audience watching with barely a dry eye among them

ᯓᡣ𐭩 And when you came up next, Black Pearl felt her chest lighten like never before. The way the colors of the gown complimented your eyes, that tender smile on your face.. you were a sight more precious than any treasure in the seas

ᯓᡣ𐭩 A soft breeze swept past you both while vows were exchanged, Wedding Cake smiling softly while she observed you both. Never had the Duskgloom monarch felt happier, seeming the most peaceful yet when holding your hands in her own and professing your feelings once again

ᯓᡣ𐭩 To your surprise, the wedding band that was given to you had a large and round pear in the center of it. It shown brilliantly, even under dark skies, the iridescent glimmer catching your eye. You looked up, seeing Black Pearl smiling gently. It was her pearl, the one she'd gifted so long ago, now being entrusted to you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 When your lips met, the kiss lingered between you as the cheers erupted around your heads. When you separated, tears couldn't help but prick your eyes knowing that you were now looking at your wife. Whilst eating cake together, Black Pearl lovingly nuzzled into your cheek and murmured softly, "My dear queen"

[fastandcarlos]

Vamos Madrid : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz

summary: as the newest signing for real madrid, you can't help but capture the attention of a certain spanish driver

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by olgacarmona7, realmadridfem and 349,706 others

ynusername: such a proud day to sign for this incredible club…hala madrid 🤍⚽️

48,103 comments

username1: ahh i can't believe this finally happened for you!!!! 🤩

chelseafcwomen: thank you for all that you've done for our great club, wishing you all the best for the future yn!

username2: can't wait to support you on this new chapter yn 🎉

elliecarpenterr: at least i'll finally get some rest from you constantly messaging me about this now

ynusername: @/elliecarpenterr thanks for being my agony aunt over the past few weeks

username3: i hope real madrid know what they're in for with a talent like you 😂

carolineweir95: your spanish tour guide is at your service 🫡

ynusername: @/carolineweir95 cannot wait for a thousand and one coffee dates with you

username4: i've never been happier to see a post from you omg

realmadridfem: welcome yn! we can't wait to have you as part of the team 🤍

username5: officially now real madrid's number one fan btw

mackenziearnold: imma miss just being able to drive up the road to see you 😭

username6: at least you won't have to deal with the british weather anymore

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 1,604,394 others

carlossainz55: thanks to real madrid for hosting me this evening, had a great time cheering the women on ☺️🤍

284,640 comments

username7: we love a man who gets behind the womens team as much as the mens 🤩

landonorris: it still disgusts me that of all the teams you support real madrid 🙄

carlossainz55: @/landonorris i refuse to take abuse from a fake fan like you!!

username8: i can't believe carlos was in the same stadium as yn tonight

username9: hala madrid ⚽️

georgerussell63: one day i'll introduce you to a team that's actually good at football

username10: hope you had the best time and got to meet lots of the players

schecoperez: could they find you a tighter top to wear??? 😂😂😂

carlossainz55: @/schecoperez gotta show off the physique somehow

username11: i was just thinking how long it's been since we had madrid content from carlos

charles_leclerc: now that you've posted can you stop talking about that footballer that you met please??

username12: wait carlos met one of the players...who? when? why? omg i've got so many questions 🤔

username13: carlos sainz we need all the gossip asap

lewishamilton: so that's why you refused to come out for food with me tonight 🙄

olgacarmona7: on behalf of the team, thank you for all of your support tonight

ynusername: thanks for the photo...

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, samanthakerr20 and 493,607 others

ynusername: off season at last 🌴✅

39,102 comments

signebruun20: can we all just take a moment to appreciate how stunning you are

username14: it's unfair for one person to look this good 😓

samanthakerr20: lock up your wardrobe next time i see you otherwise it's all mine

ynusername: @/samanthakerr20 just gonna screenshot for the prosecution

username15: are we all just going to pretend that we don't see that middle photo?? 😅

username16: i can't believe yn might finally have a boyfriend

linda_caicedo11: off season looks pretty good on you 💕

username17: you can't just post something like that and not say anything else yn omg

caitlinfoord: idc about timezones pick up the damn phone now woman 😂😂

username18: anyone else feel like that hand looks suspiciously familiar?

evanavarro12: so you go on holiday with someone and don't even tell me about it first. rude. 💔

username19: yn i'm not willing to play this soft launch game i swear-

stephcatley: did you move to madrid for the football or the men btw??

username20: charles in the likes too...makes me wonder

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly and 1,492,705 others

carlossainz55: turns out I’ve still got it ⚽️💪🏻

189,584 comments

username21: footballer carlos is a vibe that i didn't know i needed in my life 🥺

landonorris: all the gear and no idea 😂

carlossainz55: @/landonorris are you asking for me to block you or something??

username22: oh to play football with THE carlos sainz...

alex_albon: one day when i imagine myself being a footballer, i want to look like you

username23: jw is there anything that this man can't do??? ☺️

lancestroll: i need the secrets for that hair asap my friend

pierregasly: i thought the spanish were supposed to be good at football 🤔

username24: why is this man suddenly obsessed with football once again

lewishamilton: bets you managed a total of 10 keepie uppies before dropping it

carlossainz55: @/lewishamilton it was 11 i'll have you know 😂

username25: the hair. the shirt. the concentration. i cannot cope.

maxverstappen1: i really hope this isn't you trying to play it cool

ynusername: if you want some pro tips you know where i am

carlossainz55: @/ynusername might just take you up on that offer

username26: omg first date when?? ❤️❤️❤️❤️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 329,607 others

ynusername: turns out red suits me just as well as white does ❤️🏎️

59,293 comments

username27: stfu i can't believe this is happening 🫢🫢🫢

georgerussell63: come and test out the white at mercedes instead 😂

caitlinfoord: what is happening to you right now, how’ve you managed to get to go to the f1 for free 😬

username28: someone pinch me, is this really yn in the ferrari garage

charles_leclerc: hope you enjoyed your weekend with us!!

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc it was the best time tysm 🫶🏻

username29: anyone else praying that these photos mean what we want them to mean?

samanthakerr20: and you just conveniently forgot the invite for your best friend…I see how it is

username30: i'd argue that red suits you so much better btw 🤩🤩

carlossainz55: we loved having you with us, dare I say you’re an f1 fan now??

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 you might’ve just convinced me 🥺

username31: red suits you more than white suits carlos hahah

username32: not yn tryna get in on the soft launch game too

maxverstappen1: btw carlos did not stop talking about the fact that you were here with us all weekend…

carlossainz55: @/maxverstappen1 shut your face now!!!

landonorris: wtf you were supposed to come and visit me before going to those losers

ynusername: @/landonorris guess I just got a better offer 🤷🏻‍♀️

username33: i refuse to let these two tease us about a potential relationship for much longer

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, ynusername and 3,504,102 others

carlossainz55: all warmed up and just waiting for the call if you need me @/realmadridfem

181,658 comments

username34: notice how he tags the womens team instead of the men?? 🤔

charles_leclerc: can guarantee you would end up pulling your hamstring after the first five minutes my friend

username35: yn and carlos in central midfield is a dream team waiting to happen

ynusername: there’s a nice spot on the subs bench with your name on it!

carlossainz55: @/ynusername hey im starting 11 material surely 😓

username36: i saw carlos at the game today, he went crazy whenever yn got the ball 💞💞

landonorris: I’d pay a lot of money to see you try and play football with the professionals 😂

carlossainz55: @/landonorris why do you bully me all the time?? 🤦🏻‍♂️

username37: he definitely went to be cheerleader for yn rather than the whole team

alex_albon: how many takes before you were happy with that photo???

username38: I love how much they support each other it’s adorable 😭

danielricciardo: you look like the worst fifabot in the world 😂

username39: now this is a couple I can see seriously get behind!! 💕

username40: is it okay to already be obsessed with these two even though we don’t know they’re acc together yet?? 🤔🤔

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by matildas, carlossainz55 and 492,192 others

ynusername: 50 caps for this great country, it’s always the biggest honour 💚💛

49,281 comments

username41: what would the national team do without you?? 🤔

carlossainz55: congratulations, such an incredible achievement ❤️

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 tysm for flying out and cheering me on ❤️

username42: won't be long before you get to 100 caps yk

username43: we're so proud of you yn!! congratulations!! 👏🏻

samanthakerr20: so proud to stand right by your side tonight and watch you reach this milestone

username44: was it ever in doubt? the best to ever do it 🥺🥺

charles_leclerc: that was awesome to watch…I hate how you’re turning me into a football fan 😂

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc told you I’d change your mind!!

username45: the matildas are the luckiest team in the world to have you

caitlinfoord: if i had it my way you'd have thousands of caps by now

ynusername: @/caitlinfoord not really sure that's how football works 😂

username46: i could sit and watch you play football forever

mackenziearnold: best. team. mate. ever.

username47: thank you for being such an amazing part of the team, we'd be lost without you in that midfield

matildas: congratulations yn, heres to the next 50 💚💛

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 3,694,702 others

carlossainz55: a well deserved break for the both of us ☀️💕🌴

283,102 comments

username48: this is everything that i've ever wanted to see and more

alex_albon: still offended that you didn’t invite me on this trip 😭

username49: i cannot begin to tell you how happy i am for you both 🤯🤯

stephcatley: omg i could not be happier to see you two together

ynusername: thank you for such an amazing trip, you're the best 💕💕

carlossainz55: @/ynusername you deserve the world and more

username50: now please continue to spam us with adorable pics

alexandrasaintmleux: so pleased to see you guys had such a good time 🎉🌴

username51: thank you for bringing the soft launch to an end, welcome hard launch!!

landonorris: shall i vacate the role of boyfriend now or later??

carlossainz55: @/landonorris i'll show you the door 🚪

username52: a match made in heaven if you ask me

username53: i'm not even in this relationship and i feel emotional

charles_leclerc: thank goodness, don't think i could keep the secret for much longer 😅

username54: everyone say thank you real madrid for introducing these two to one another 🤍⚽️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, elliecarpenterr and 593,604 others

ynusername: three of my favourite things, football, boyfriend and all the coffee ⚽️❤️☕️

59,201 comments

username55: yn it's not fair of you to melt my heart like this 😭

oscarpiastri: now the coffee I can get behind ☕️

landonorris: you’re forgetting the part where you mention your boyfriend’s best friend???

username56: look at their faces, they look so in love together!!

caitlinfoord: can you stop being so annoyingly cute please and thank you

carlossainz55: i better be number one out of those three things 🥺

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 the top spot is yours forever 🫶🏻❤️

username57: you'll find me in the corner crying absolute tears of joy

danielricciardo: well this is a bit cute isn’t it 🤩🤩

username58: officially now my favourite couple in the whole entire world 🌍

username59: i don't think i'll ever see enough posts from these two

charles_leclerc: presuming from this that football tops carlos 🤭

username60: cannot wait to see these guys spend the rest of their lives together ngl 💞💞💞

maxverstappen1: btw carlos does not shut up about you 😂😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[terribleinfluence-tour]

UK + IE + EU Timezone Guide !

Hi everyone!💜 As we enter the final leg of the Terrible Influence tour (😭), I've put together another timezone guide for everyone! It's a little different to the AU/NZ guide as there aren't as many timezones as there were in the last leg; but I hope it'll still help and that it's easy to understand!

As the previous guide, this one follows the time that M&G begins at 5pm (and may vary due to venue allowances!) To find what time the show starts, add 3 hours! Currently, information about the January 26th matinee show in London has not been released, but I'll update with the timing information for that as it comes !! We once again apologise that we are not able to include every time zone in this guide, but attached to this post is a world clock site in which you can look up your time zone and add the dates you are wanting to track + it also comes in a mobile app! https://www.worldtimebuddy.com/

Thanks again for following our blog on this journey, and we look forward to bringing you content from the final leg of the Terrible Influence tour! 💙💜

[intimidating-fettuccine]

hii can you pretty please write a little thing about soft sex w/ ej & hoodie? separately please :3

i am a huge fan of your works & a while ago i sent in something when i was upset about how ej would hug. i loved it and you did a phenomenal job in writing it<3

have a lovely day/night and take care of yourself!!!

much love <3

I remember that! :) I'm glad you liked it! I hope you thoroughly enjoy this as well! Also, I wasn't sure if you meant specifically Hoodie or if you wanted Brian, so I actually did a blend of both <3 I love writing stuff like this, so I hope you enjoy, have a wonderful timezone :)

EJ:

I know I write EJ as a man that likes to fuck and likes to fuck hard, but this man is also a connoisseur of softness and gentleness in all forms in a relationship. I feel like Jack's absolute, all-time favorite form of sex is cuddle sex. He loves cuddling you in general because he constantly seeks out warmth and your body is just oh so warm, so this man is curled around you at practically all hours of the day. What better way to have some warm snuggles than with his cock buried deep inside of you at the same time?? He loves just spooning you from behind and either cock warming with you and just keeping himself in there, or moving in and out of you in slow, languid motions. I actually wrote this for kinktober, but he's also a fan of intercrural sex, where he's just fucking your thighs, and cuddling is the ultimate position to do that in as well. It doesn't really matter what you're doing, so long as he can have you gently cuddled up in his arms, that's all that matters to Jack. He'll trail languid kisses down your neck and shoulders, gently caress your skin with his hands in soothing motions, nuzzle his head into your body as soft hums come out of him, until he's purring in content with his tail swishing back and forth behind him. If he's feeling especially sleepy you'll have to force your way out of his arms to get him to get up and grab a towel to clean the two of you up, because otherwise the sweet boy is just gonna fall asleep right after with you wrapped up in his arms and refuse to let you go. I feel like he'll eventually just start keeping a towel right behind him so he can grab it, clean you up, and fall asleep without having to remove you from his arms. Unless you get him particularly riled up and rough, softness is his default and preferred mode for sex, and it becomes quite easy and common for the two of you to transition from regular cuddles into sex.

Brian/Hoodie:

Sex with Brian is soft by default. This man doesn't have a rough bone in his body, and he does whatever he can to lovingly bring you to your peak every single time you have sex with him. There's no fucking with Brian, just making love. He loves covering you in kisses, gently rocking into your body at whatever pace you'd prefer from him, and always showering you with praise and affection. Smiles and giggles are common when you're having sex with him, and it's a very lighthearted, loving experience. Brian I think also loves cuddle sex, but he prefers it from a position where he can see your face while he's doing it, with you resting in his arms, your bodies pressed against each other while he presses passionate kisses onto your lips. Tangle your fingers into his hair in a position like that and you'll have him turning into a puddle against you in no time. Hoodie, however, is not as familiar with soft sex and is the one with rough bones in his body. Hoodie isn't used to emotions and feeling things, so it's easier for him to be rough when he fucks you instead of soft and loving like Brian, but he does try his best for you. It's cute when he starts trying at first to be gentle with you. He doesn't know where to put his hands, or where to look (as he's too shy in the beginning to look you in the eyes while he's trying to be affectionate with you), and I feel like you'd have to guide him through it. Hoodie's movements are still rougher in general, his hips snapping into yours, his hands gripping a bit tightly, but you can tell he's intentionally treating you softly. Sure, his hips are pounding into you, but his lips are feather soft across your skin, and whenever he gropes at you his eyes flick up to yours to make sure his movements are okay, that you're enjoying yourself, that you want him to keep going just as much as he does. He may be rough, but he wants you to enjoy yourself as much as possible with him.

[mindtrcks]

asmr | CL16

Charles has been having trouble sleeping. Your videos seem to be the only thing that helps.

WC: 5.4k

Notes: performance coach!reader who dabbles in asmr (but only for charles <3), smut, phone sex/mutual masturbation.

Charles has been having trouble sleeping lately.

It could be because of timezones, or how much coffee he drinks. But it probably has more to do with the way he’s been watching the Drivers Championship slip further and further out of his grip with every passing week. But to admit that would be to admit that he’s losing control of the car, and with it, himself. To admit that would be to admit that there's nothing he can do about it.

So he claims that he’s merely been a little restless at night. He’s told to try calming teas before bed, so he does. But then he just has to get up and use the restroom. He counts hundreds of sheep without getting tired, and ocean noises and whale sounds just pound around in his skull until he turns them off. He tries picturing the schematics of the SF24 in his head until he has a perfect rendition in his mind. But then he thinks of how it feels to drag it back into the pits, and works himself up so much he can’t even close his eyes.

He’s growing more than just a little restless. He thinks he might be getting desperate.

—

“Have you tried warm milk?” Andrea asks him, when Charles shows up to training with bags under his eyes, yet again.

“Yes, no luck,” he answers. He doesn’t know a kind way to say that he’s tried everything that appears on the first five pages of google when he searches for insomnia remedies, including an American military tactic that’s supposed to work in ten seconds. (Charles has found it doesn’t work at all.)

Andrea makes a sympathetic sound and begins to guide Charles through a warm-up. His limbs don’t stretch as far as they would if he had gotten a good night’s sleep.

As he struggles, your voice calls out, from the corner, “Wait, he’s allowed to eat dairy?”

And that is something he is still getting used to. You, shadowing his sessions with Andrea. You’re preparing for your transfer to a team that shall not be named, as you like to say. Charles figures it must be a team that pays well, because you take the NDA quite seriously. When Andrea first told him about the arrangement, he worried it would be awkward, but he quickly found the opposite to be true. You talk quite a lot for a soon-to-be head performance coach. It’s comfortable. He likes your chatter, even if it’s a bit inane at times.

“Drink dairy,” he corrects, just to hear you huff.

The satisfaction is short-lived, though, because then Andrea’s hands are on his shoulders, pushing him further into his lunge, and deepening the burn in his thighs. “Milk is healthy,” Andrea tells you, sounding like a professor. Like he really thinks you don’t understand the merits of drinking milk. Charles just thinks you want to be difficult. “Also, he has an ice cream company.”

“Yeah, but I didn't think he started it for the love of ice cream. Plus, everybody makes it seem like drivers can only eat gruel. I need to shadow a nutritionist or something.”

Andrea lets him stand up, and instructs him to start stretching his arms now. “You don’t have to make the meal plan,” he says, once adequately satisfied with Charles’ form. “They can just find Dan—”

You interrupt him with a gasp and a rushed, “Shshsh,” not quite a shush, but something close. Like calling a cat. “You can’t say who it is,” you say, waving your arms. But then you freeze, and Charles can see the moment your face lights up with an idea. He knows, instinctively, that it can’t be good. “Wait. Charles, have you tried ASMR?”

He briefly debates lying, but he’s not sure he has a good enough poker face to get away with it normally, much less when Andrea pulls his arm up and introduces a new ache to the stretch. “I have tried, but it did not help much,” he admits, choosing to ignore both the delight on your face and the reserved judgment on Andrea’s. “It felt weird to have some stranger try to put me to sleep.”

“Ah, so you need your own personal ASMRtist, just for you?” you ask, eyebrows raising. Charles would feel shame, but he is just too tired. He watches you turn to Andrea and shake your head. “These drivers, man.”

Charles just sighs. Andrea makes his way to the treadmill, and Charles sighs again, this time with feeling.

—

He doesn’t think much of it, as he goes through the workout. Andrea works him hard enough that he doesn’t think much of anything at all. That is, until he’s doing crunches and your face suddenly appears above him, grinning down. “I could do it, if you wanted to try ASMR again. I could make you some, seeing as I’m not a stranger.”

At this point, Charles would try just about anything. Exhausted, and sweaty, and struggling to finish his set, he grunts, “Sure. If it is not a problem.”

“No problem at all,” you say, throwing him an exaggerated wink.

He’s lost too much sleep over the past few weeks to spend time parsing out whatever that means.

—

A week later, and Charles has honestly forgotten about the entire thing until you text him out of the blue on a Monday afternoon.

what kind of things do you like?

for your asmr :)

He stares down at his phone and tries to think of a reasonable way to respond to that. He has watched ASMR before, yes. It’s true that if it exists on the first five pages of google, he has already tried it. But all of the videos he watched were too creepy, or too loud, or again, too impersonal. He didn’t really discover anything that worked, except maybe for the lack of traffic in the background.

I like for it to be quiet, he sends, eventually. He’s not sure what else to offer. As he watches you type, he hopes that you won't put too much effort into this whole thing. Charles is not very hopeful that it will help in the first place.

well, yes!

i mean do you like talking? or water sounds or something?

I’m not sure, he types. And then, just to ease your expectations, adds, Honestly it will probably not work either way

have you no faith in me?

He doesn’t know how to reply to that, so he turns his phone off instead of overthinking.

���

It’s Wednesday night by the time you text him again.

for you, the message reads. There's a video attached, of course. He has to wait for it to download to his phone before he can see the cover image: you, sitting at a hotel room desk, smiling softly. Your hand is blurry in the frame, like you're pulling it back after pressing record.

He feels something tight in his stomach, a jump of anticipation. If his problem was the impersonality of the few videos he’s tried on YouTube, this would definitely fix that. The frame looks like something he might see if he were to do a video call with you. Something he might see if you were really talking to him.

Pressing play seems dangerous. He thinks it will probably not work, but there's the nagging thought in the back of his mind of what if it does? What if, after all the home remedies and melatonin and sleepless nights, this is what finally works? Your voice, your face, on a video just for him. How is he meant to deal with the repercussions of that?

It's a war within himself, whether to press play or not. The fact is that he needs to get sleep before free practice in the morning. But he cannot honestly say that watching your video would help any more than staring up at the hotel ceiling, counting the cracks and divots. Picturing sheep jumping over a fence, like his maman always said.

It is almost like his phone is singing to him, though. In a voice that maybe sounds like a siren’s or maybe sounds like yours.

He cannot help it. He presses play.

“Hi, Charles,” your voice whispers in the quiet of his hotel room.

Instantly, he panics and shuts his phone off. Much too dangerous, he thinks. The sheep will work just fine.

—

He wakes up feeling more exhausted than he has ever felt.

It’s bad, he knows. He hardly has anything to say to the reporters who try to talk to him before he gets in the car. Free practice is a nightmare, and he nearly crashes out in the middle of a flying lap. And then, of course, he has to sit through an entirely long debrief in which all that seems to be said is how he needs to be focusing more. Concentrating on what's important.

“Maybe you just need to get more sleep,” you offer, like you know, somehow, that he was too much of a coward to watch the video you sent. That you can see how he didn't even try.

“Maybe,” he agrees.

There are sympathetic faces, and then he’s sent back to the hotel early, with firm instructions to go to bed.

—

He tries to fall asleep on his own. He drinks tea and plays whale noises and even does yoga poses, which do nothing but aggravate his muscles, already sore from his incident in free practice.

In the end, there's nothing to be done. He rolls over and grabs his phone, resolving that, if nothing else, he will try. And even if it doesn't work, then he at least will know, and he can stop thinking about you sitting at that desk, whispering his name.

He presses play before he can convince himself otherwise.

“Hi, Charles,” you say, on the video. The room around you is dimly lit, the kind of yellow light in hotel rooms that makes everything look a bit hazy. You’re wearing your Ferrari polo, but you've pulled a zip-up over it. Charles always thought you looked very nice in red. He isn't sure if he's supposed to close his eyes or not.

“I know you’re probably only watching this ‘cause you’re desperate, so I’ll try my best.”

He watches you talk until you instruct him in a quiet voice to close his eyes, and he’s thankful for the clarification. It’s an easier instruction to follow than to just relax, like the YouTube videos say. It’s easier to follow your instructions, period, he thinks. He’s used to it, from your input in training sessions. Straighten your back, widen your stance, do two more. It’s rote, listening to you. And your voice is melodic, comforting. He listens contently as you tell him to count down from ten, and to guess whether you’re snapping with your left or right hand. You start making that sound you’d made at Andrea during his last training session with you, a hushed shshshsh, and Charles finds himself yawning.

Maybe it’s a trust thing. Maybe he finds himself getting tired because he knows he can fall asleep without worrying about you randomly screaming on the video, or interrupting the quiet with an ad halfway through.

Maybe it’s just because it’s you.

He’s asleep before he can come to a conclusion.

—

“You’re looking refreshed this morning,” you chirp at him, when you cross paths in the paddock.

He feels a flush rise high on his cheeks. I wonder why, he thinks. Outwardly, he admits, “Yes, I slept well last night.” And then, after a moment, adds, quieter, “Thank you.”

Your smile is softer than the usual grin you level him with. Still, he can tell you’re proud of yourself. “And you didn’t think it would work. See, Charles, your performance coach always knows best.”

He finds himself feeling grateful for your capacity for talking, once again. When he woke up, he was nervous he wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation with you anymore, or wouldn’t be able to force himself into acting normal. Now, though, it still feels just as easy. “You’re not my performance coach,” he states.

It gets him an eye roll. “Right, I’m your personal ‘ASMRtist.’”

You whisper the word, which he isn’t quite sure is a real word to begin with, and it’s almost like he’s watching the video again.

He knew it was dangerous clicking play.

—

With sleep, his performance improves.

It’s nothing miraculous. The car is still the car; the team is still the team. But it feels less like he’s fighting, or like control is slipping through his fingers at every turn. He starts to enjoy it a bit more, even during the rough times. Everything had felt so much worse when he knew that he could spend the entire day wrestling with the car, and wouldn’t even be able to sleep it off when the race was over. Now, he breathes easier knowing that your video is waiting for him.

You send him another, during the two weeks off in April, and then one more after his podium in Miami. He rotates through the three of them based on how he’s feeling, or how long he thinks it’ll take. (Sometimes, he feels a bit spoiled for choice, and starts brainstorming ways to pay you back.) Though he likes them all, he does have a favorite. The one you sent after Miami. You start it by telling him congratulations and saying that you know he’ll be on the top step soon.

It would be one thing if you mentioned his podium finish off-handedly, just the once. But no. The entire video goes on like that, soft encouragement sprinkled throughout, like a reward for racing well.

Whenever he watches that one, your voice follows him into sleep, where he dreams of you encouraging him to do other things, completely unrelated to racing.

—

His problem then becomes wholly unrelated to sleep, and completely having to do with you.

It’s like he’s pavloved himself into wanting to hear your voice, or see your face. He tells Andrea that he would not mind if you sat in on more of his training sessions, just so he can argue with you about the difference between cartwheels and somersaults, electric stoves versus gas, flying commercial or private. He gets to the garage early to see you warm up the mechanics, a thinly veiled excuse to watch you doing squats. He doesn’t put his headphones in while he walks around hospitality, on the off chance that he’ll get to hear your voice.

He once wondered what the repercussions of watching your videos would be. Now, he knows.

—

Monaco is a dream that cannot be deterred by his growing obsession with you.

Charles has been finding it hard to keep his eyes dry ever since the last lap. His mechanics pull him into a hug, and he feels like he’s flying. Arthur is there, crying. Charles never thought he could do it. Jumping into the water feels like victory. It is victory.

There will be a big celebration, he is sure.

You’ll be proud of him, he is even surer.

—

He’s not thinking about sleeping until you find him outside of his drivers’ room, and take him by the shoulders. “I told you you’d do it,” you say, pulling him into a hug that’s tight like a vice-grip.

His voice is muffled by your hair when he says, through a throat still tight with tears, “I am glad I got a good rest last night.”

You laugh as you pull back from him. It is hard to see through the wetness in his eyes, but he thinks he can see a similar shine in your own. He’s not sure what to do with that. There are all these people who are so proud of him, and now you’re one of them. Now you’re holding his shoulders and crying with him. It’s nice. He feels cared for. He wants you there after every win.

“Well, I’m glad to be of service,” you say. “I’m not sure when you’ll be going to bed tonight, but call me if you need help sleeping, Charles. Among other things.”

You punctuate your sentence with a wink, and then you’re gone, leaving him with the memory of your grin at the front of his mind, like an image burned into a TV screen.

—

He is going out tonight. The whole of Monaco will be celebrating him. The team will be waiting to greet him with open arms and open bars. People will want to pour some more champagne on him, and get him drunk, and find a dance floor.

He is going out tonight, but right now, he’s sitting alone in his hotel room, thinking about what you had said.

Among other things, accompanied by a wink. A wink. That’s flirting, he thinks. No, he knows. You’re flirting with him. You had winked at him when you first offered this whole arrangement, too. Charles hadn’t known what it meant. Hadn’t really cared. Now he wonders if you were flirting with him then, too.

It’s not so much of a stretch. You spend a lot of time with him, even if he has orchestrated most of it. It never seems like a chore for you to sit in on his training sessions. You gladly correct his form and tell him that he can take more. You’re a very hands-on performance coach, unafraid to touch him in places Andrea wouldn’t. Whenever Charles is alone in hospitality, you’re always quick to find him, eager to gossip about the mechanics or to share contraband pastries he’s definitely not supposed to eat. You make him the videos that started all of this. You tell him hi and congratulations and I’m proud of you. You talk to him in a quiet voice that he hears in his dreams now.

You care enough to cry over his win. Embarrassingly, that thought is what has him dipping his hand below the waistband of his briefs. He thinks he should not. He has places to be, soon. But he’s still a bit high off the adrenaline, and it’s been so long, anyway. If he is quick, it cannot hurt. This is what he tells himself, as he lays back against the pillow, and pretends he’s not thinking about you.

He doesn’t think of your lips, or your legs, or the way you look in Ferrari red. Or the way you would look as he pulls the Ferrari red off of you, ‘til you’re bare in front of him.

He’s not sure what compels him to pull up the first video you made him; it feels like a force beyond his control. Maybe it’s the memory of your grin, and your wink. Maybe he’s just crazy. Maybe he’s still just as desperate as when this all first started. Probably all of the above, he thinks, pressing play with as much shame as one can feel with their hand on their dick.

“Hi, Charles. I know you’re probably only watching this ‘cause you’re desperate, so I’ll try my best.”

You have hardly finished the first sentence when he closes out of the video with a shudder. Too weird, he thinks. He doesn’t want to tarnish the video. Or to use it for something you didn’t make it for. But now he won’t be able to stop thinking of you, or stop hearing your voice. He feels hot all over as he stares at your contact on his phone. You did say that he should call, even with other things. You had winked! Is this what you meant?

He is a race winner in Monaco. He decides to risk it.

“Hi, Charles,” you say when you answer, just like the video. Louder this time of course, since you’re not trying to put him to sleep.

It takes a moment for him to trust his voice. It would probably be easier if he stopped touching himself, but alas. He manages to get it out eventually. “Hello. You said to call if I needed help.”

“Oh, sleeping?” You ask, after making a shocked sound in the back of your throat that—in a different context—could be interpreted as something else. He has to choke down a gasp, and somehow, you don’t notice. “Wow, early night.”

He swallows, braces himself. “Not sleeping,” he admits. “You said I could call with other things, too.” His voice comes out so quiet with shame that he's almost surprised you can hear it all. You’re silent on the other end for a moment that seems to stretch into eternity. His hand stills where he had been touching himself as he waits with bated breath, half-expecting you to hang up on him.

You don’t. “Charles,” you say. There’s an edge to your voice that he’s never heard before, something vaguely scandalized and entirely too much to handle. He strokes himself, again, unable to stop himself, and hears you inhale sharply. “Are you—”

“I’m sorry if this is not what you meant. I can hang up.”

“No, no it's fine,” you say. He can hear shuffling across the phone. Just like pressing play on your video was dangerous, this is, too. Because now his imagination is left to run wild, and he wonders if you're in bed like him, if you're taking off the Ferrari polo, if you're touching yourself. “I've gotta be honest, I don't really—er, I haven't exactly done this before,” you confess.

“That's okay.” There’s a shy, nervous energy about you that he can feel through the phone. It's not something he’s used to; you're always the one with something to say, cocksure and easy. Maybe now it's his turn to take the lead. Maybe this way he can finally pay you back for all your effort in making him the videos. “This is something you want, yes?”

“Charles, I offered.”

And he supposes that is true enough. “Right,” he says, steeling himself. This is something he can handle. It's not like he's used to it by any means; it feels strange that you're not here with him, stranger that you’re doing this in the first place. But he can't exactly stop now. The slide of his palm against his dick feels nice enough on its own, but the prospect of you, on the other end of the line listening is something else entirely.

“What are you wearing?” he asks.

He feels like a dick even before you laugh out a shocked, “Jesus Christ, Charles.”

Still, he knows there are only so many ways that this goes. “It is how you do it!” he defends “I say ‘what are you wearing’ and you say—well, you know what you say.”

“But you know what I’m wearing. Ferrari shirt. Jeans. My uniform.”

He does know. He has been picturing you in red this whole time. But it's not as if he had asked out of curiosity. He asked so that he could tell you, “Yes, it’s probably not comfortable. You should take it off.”

He hears the sound of your throat clicking as you swallow. “Oh,” you say, really nothing more than a huff of air. It feels just as close to victory as jumping into the water.

“Tell me when you’re done,” he instructs, to the sounds of more shuffling. He can picture it, in his head. You, pulling off your shirt, ridding yourself of the jeans. Laying back just like him, waiting patiently for instructions. It’s becoming difficult to think through the blood rush to his dick.

“Done,” you say, plainly. He wants nothing more than to be able to see you, touch you. He wonders if your hotel room is cold, if you have goosebumps he could chase away with his hands. The thought distracts him, until you huff, “Charles.”

“Ah, sorry,” he says. It really is hard to think, especially when you're saying his name like that, breathy and soft and naked in bed on the phone with him. His dick twitches and he has to pull his hand away for a moment before continuing. “If I were there, do you know how I would touch you?”

The sound you make is almost like he’s punched you in the stomach. “You’re such a tease, just tell me.”

It’s easy to imagine, as he tugs on his dick. He’s not too proud to say that he's thought of this before. Maybe not over the phone, but you, with him, together. “I would take my time to thank you properly. I would touch your thighs, and your stomach first. Just lightly. You should, too.” He can tell you’re listening based on the way your breaths come in harsher. “Does it feel nice?”

“Yeah,” you answer, sounding dazed. Charles understands, deeply. He cannot believe this is happening, that you’re doing this with him, touching yourself the way he instructs.

You seem content for a moment, but when he doesn't specify anything further, it's not long before you seem to want more. “I could do this on my own,” you whine, a pitch to your voice that he never wants to stop hearing. He files the sound away in the same corner of his mind that remembers what you sound like talking him to sleep. Distantly, he hears the sheets moving beneath you, and can't help but to imagine you writhing on the bed, aching for more.

“I can hang up and leave you to it,” he threatens, with absolutely no intentions to make good on it.

The sound of the sheets rustling stops. “You’re not being very nice. Some 'thank you’ this is.”

You are a bit of a brat, he thinks. He should've known, really. You always seem to have something to say. But he certainly won't complain about it now, not when the sound of your voice is enough to make him believe that you’re there, that it’s you touching him, faster now, than before.

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Proper thanks are in order, right? You can touch yourself where you want to.”

Your breath hitches, and he can practically see you, on your bed, your fingers working expertly at yourself. “Are you?” you ask, and it takes him a moment to recall the line of conversation.

When he does, he chokes out, “Yes, I—have been.”

“Chivalry is dead,” you sigh out.

He still tries to defend himself, even as the sound of skin slapping against skin becomes more and more pronounced in the emptiness of the room. “I’m being nice! You help me to sleep so now I will help you to come.” He hears you squawk a laugh, but it quickly turns into something more like a moan. “Ah, see? I am helping.”

“You’re not doing anything.”

He briefly debates the merits of walking through the hotel sweating and hard in his underwear to find you. But he thinks the team leads at Ferrari would prefer if he did not. He supposes that imagining will work just fine, for now. “If I were there, I would use my mouth,” he decides. “You could sit on my face, I would let you.”

“Oh,” you say. He pictures you with your head thrown back, chest heaving, and hid dick twitches in his hand. “Maybe you are a gentleman.”

Eh, this is not very gentlemanly, he doesn't think. If he were a gentleman, he would've taken you to dinner, or something. Not called you with his hand already down his pants. Still, he says, “Yes.” And then: “You should put your fingers inside.”

It might be his imagination, but he swears he can hear it, the slick slide, muffled by the sound you make, a choked mewl. “Good,” he says, and he thinks your answering groan may be equal parts frustrated and aroused.

He has to adjust himself against the pillows. Holding the phone makes it awkward; he considers dropping it and putting you on speaker, but he doesn't think he's quite ready to be able to hear your voice and your hands your noises projected in the room. It feels more intimate like this, just for him. And he would have to open his eyes to put you on speaker, have to stop picturing you fucking yourself with your fingers, at his request. It's not an image he plans on abandoning soon.

He hears your breaths become heavier and heavier over the phone, accompanied by sounds that slowly drive him insane, moans like a pornstar’s instead of a performance coach’s. If this is what you are like just from your own fingers, he cannot imagine how nice he could make you feel on his dick.

“I would fuck you,” he says, after a particularly nice stroke. He feels a little crazy with it. He won't last much longer, he knows. You called him a gentleman but he might finish first. At this point, there's nothing he can do about it.

The little hah you say into the receiver certainly doesn't help. “That would be—I can't say I haven't thought about it.”

“What did you think about?” he asks. He has to know now.

You make a tortured sound. He pictures you trying to hide your face, or squirm away from your own hands. His hips buck into his fist; he pretends it's you.

“I don't know. Everything, Charles,” you confess, through heavy breaths. “When you would take your shirt off in the gym, I’d think of you fucking me on the equipment. You made it very hard to take notes. Sometimes I'd think of you, like, fucking me in your car. The car.”

“There is not much room,” he says, instead of examining why that thought nearly sends him careening off the edge.

“Knowing that is above my pay grade.”

“I could fuck you on the hood, maybe,” he hums. The image is—god, he’s really not going to last. “My two favorite things.”

The sound that comes out of you is a mix of his name, and several assorted swears, and maybe something about Ferrari firing you. But your voice is shaky and you gasp like it’s over, like you just made yourself—

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “Did you—”

“Yes,” you squeak, like you're embarrassed. He didn't know you had the capacity. “Oh my god, Charles.”

It’s his name on your tongue that has him finally spilling his load with a shout that he hopes is mostly muffled by the hotel walls. He’s pretty sure Fred is the next room over, something he hadn't wanted to think about with his hand in his dick and still doesn't want to think about now, cum drying in his boxers and you catching your breath on the other end of the line.

“Is that what you meant?” Charles asks eventually. “When you said I should call you?”

You sound almost sheepish when you answer. “Yeah, but to be honest I didn't think you’d pick up on it.”

“I thought it might have been just wishful thinking. The adrenaline made me do it.”

“Well, you were very good at it. I think you could make better asmr than me.”

He shudders at the thought. He cannot imagine doing what you do, whispering to his phone camera and pretending it's you. He's grateful for your lack of shame, because he's not sure he’d be able to do it were the roles reversed. “No, I'll leave that to you.” And then, because he’s still running mostly off of adrenaline: “Maybe we can talk more later? In person?”

He can hear the grin in your voice when you answer. “I’d be mad that you're hanging up on me, but I think you may be trying to invite me to your party?”

“You know you're already invited. But maybe you could come with me?”

“It’s a date,” you answer, which makes Charles three for three on victories for the day. Somehow, this one feels the most monumental. Maybe it's because of the cum still drying in his briefs. “I’ll wear something more fun to take off than my team kit.”

—

You wear something that's honestly rather difficult to take off, but he quickly discovers that you're good with your hands, and layer, he discovers that ASMR is not the only trick up your sleeve to tire him out.

[physics-of-one-piece]

The One Piece World Timezones [Fixed]

Okay, so I did a big WHOOPS. I thought the Grand Line is the equator. Someone in the notes pointed out that no, the Grand Line is not the equator and honestly, yeah, my fault for not going a bit deeper into my research.

Here is how the globe is and how the Grand Line goes. The blue thingy is I suspect the actual equator.

The reasons I thought the Grand Line is on the equator is:

1) weather

2) natural occurences

3) map on the One Piece Wiki

Crazy shit happens in the equator in our world.

Here is how the Grand Line is positioned as told by Law.

(source)

Now, let's fix the mistake. (Sighs)

And... ROTATE THE MAP.

Here it is. I sighed many sighs while rotating this and maybe I cried a bit at getting everything 3 hours wrong and then cried some more that Dressrosa & Hawaii aren't in the same timezone bcs goddamn it, that fit, as did Mariejois.

But FINE. I'm doing this for all the Doffy x Reader writers, all the One Piece x Reader writers, all the One Piece fanfic writers, full stop. I REFUSE TO ALLOW MY MISTAKE TO BE A CURSE. I'll also edit the OG post and put this pic there so both posts have the correct one.

Okay, one more time, 100% correct this time:

Paradise:

Reverse Mountain [UTC -1]

Cape Valley [UTC 0]

Cactus Island [UTC 0]

Little Garden [UTC +1]

Drum Island [UTC +2]

Alabasta [UTC +3]

Island where Luffy Kicked Bellamy's Ass Vol 1 Jaya [UTC+4]

Skypiea [UTC +4]

The Arc I Skipped After Seeing It Became Filler Ring Long Island [UTC +5]

Water 7 [UTC +5]

I'm so sorry, Snail 😭

Ennies Lobby [UTC +6]

Florian Triangle [UTC +6]

Sabaody Archipelago [UTC +7]

Amazon Lily [UTC +7]

Impel Down [UTC +8]

Marineford [UTC +8]

Holy Land of Mariejois [UTC+8]

All the thematic representation of it being UTC +12, splash into the water 😭😭😭

Fishman Island [UTC +9]

New World:

New Marineford [UTC -8]

Punk Hazard [UTC -8]

Dressrosa [UTC -7]

Totto Land [UTC -5]

Wano [UTC -4]

Law vs Blackbeard Island [UTC -3]

Elbaf [UTC -3]

Weird that it's Elbaf that's Northeast, since shouldn't Law have gone there as his route? Maybe Kid lied and went there still after Law said Northeast is the quickest path, while Law took a detour onto Winner Island to fight Blackbeard.

Hachinosu (Pirate Island, Blackbeard's HQ) [UTC -3]

Egghead [UTC -3]

Even though Egghead's not shown on the map, Luffy went directly south from Wano, and by the line, the Sunny would have entered the UTC -3 zone.

Lodestar Island [UTC -2]

Calculating Guide:

From East to West

- if it's 17:00 (5 pm) in Marineford (UTC +8) and you want to know what time it is in Dressrosa, this is what you do:

1) (Current time in Marineford) - (UTC time number of Marineford) which is

17 (5pm) - 8 = 9 am (UTC 0)

2) now that you have UTC 0, you put another minus, this one from Dressrosa's UTC, which is UTC -7, so it goes

9 am - 7 = 2 am

So it's 2 am in Dressrosa, while it's 5 pm in Marineford!

From West to East

Say it's 22:00 (10 pm) on Saturday in Dressrosa, what time is it in Holy Land? Here are the steps.

1) (Dressrosa current time) + (Dressrosa's Timezone Number) = time at UTC 0

So that's:

10 pm + 7 = 5 am Sunday (UTC 0)

2) UTC 0 time + Holy Land Time Number

So: 5 am + 8 = 13:00 (1 pm) Sunday

So while it's 10 pm Saturday in Dressrosa and Doflamingo is conducting business with the Paradise part of the Grand Line, in the Holy Land, the ugly Celestials are eating lunch on Sunday or napping bcs they are freeloading cu- (censored) unlike Doflamingo who's actually working!

(looks at the maps of my previous timezone post) Okay. It's fine. I only missed Dressrosa by 3 hours. IT'S FINE.

(it's not fine, I'm crying, it's not FINE, my favourite island and I couldn't even get it right the first time, if Doffy turns me into a toy I deserve it)

I'll go climb the Red Line and jump off it. This is the greatest shame as a scientist. Wrong numbers.

A/N: Of course, if what the pic above said is true, it might as well could be that the original tinezone map I made is semi- correct and the entire territory up until Wano has a timezone from UTC -12 to UTC -9 if it's only the first third of the New World, as those are the "thirds" of the west timezones. I don't read the manga, but I'm caught up with the anime and if the manga does reveal a map, actual map like that curved one in the picture with Law or Oda finally makes one, I give the manga readers full permission to send it to me in an ask and I will update the posts again. For now, this is the most "official" map we have, and the most recent one. Also, the Grand Line being in the shape of a rollercoaster is fitting, haha.

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @moonbaby26

[l3viat8an]

Ro!!! What if!! What if!!! Mammon has a dick piercings!!!! But he didn’t tell you so you’re just loooking at his dick in awe!!! Thots⁉️🎤 

Nsfw!

Nonnie I’m so sorry this is from literal months ago- but it’s his birthday (in my timezone) ‘n I wanted to post SOMETHING!!!

Here you are, kneeling on the floor in Mammon’s room. The demon himself sitting on the couch in front of you, pants pushed down to his knees and cock standing at attention, his eyes following your hand as your fingertips skim over the little gold balls of his jacobs ladder piercing. (Link to a pic of a ’pierced’ banana cuz the actual dick pics make me laugh shjshshshsh)

“Did it hurt?” you ask, genuine curiosity in your voice as you start to pull your hand away, only for Mammon to grab it and guide you back to wrap it properly around his dick.

Keeping his hand around yours and setting the pace, urging you to go a little faster, until you’re jerking him off properly-

Mammon bit back a moan, before replying, “Like a fuckin’ bitch.” followed by a low chuckle at the shocked look on your face.

His hand still guiding yours, up and down his cock, your thumb rubbing across the tip to smear his per-cum down the length and making the jewelry shine for another reason-

“If it hurt that bad….why’d you do it?” You didn’t really expect an answer, hand still jerking him off as you moved your mouth closer. Wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock and sucking gently, pushing your tongue flat to rub along the top bar of his piercing before pulling off with a lewd pop.

Mammon’s other hand moves to grab a handful of your hair, guidelines you back down towards his cock, your mouth falling open again as you take him in again, deeper this time.

Hearing the demon above you, moaning freely when your tongue starts sliding across the ladder and his dick twitches in your mouth, “Keep fuckin’ suckin’ me like that, and I promise I’ll show ya.”