#tmi yeah but I'm feeling great

[milfbro]

dude honestly I made a miraculous recovery since yesterday??? I barely feel any pain at all?

this is surreal

[troubadour-malin]

aough

[sh4wty18]

✨Hello! I hope you are having a great weekend. I was wondering if you could write a Johnnie Guilbert x reader story about Johnnie, Jake, Tara, Carrington, the reader going to a party. At the party, the reader has a panic attack, and Johnnie notices her walking away. He follows her, helps her through it, and they open up to each other. The reader becomes really attached, kisses him, then immediately apologizes. Johnnie reassures her, kisses her again, and maybe there's some smut or just a good makeout scene - whatever you want to write! ✨

I LOVE THIS!! sorry it took so long <3

panic attack.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader

summary: same as request.

cw: angst, fluff, language, alcohol, graphic description of a panic attack

word count: 2.7k + edited

a/n: this is based on my own personal experiences with anxiety and panic attacks. i'm not saying this is what panic attacks look like for everyone, this is just how i have experienced them. also nothing i write about johnnie is accurate (i have no clue if he has/had panic attacks, i just said that for the sake of the fic and this is all FICTIONAL!!)

---

“Guys come on! We’re gonna be late to our own party!!” Jake yells up the staircase, “Tara’s already there!” 

You sigh and turn to face Johnnie, who’s finishing up his makeup. You’d already finished getting ready, but decided to wait for your friend in his room. You were super close with all of them: Johnnie, Jake, Tara, and Carrington, but you’d always been closest with Johnnie. There was just something about him. He always seemed to understand you better than anyone. You never felt like you couldn’t be one hundred percent yourself around him, and it was obvious he felt the same way about you. You were both open with each other about everything, nothing was off limits or TMI. It didn’t take long after becoming friends with them for Johnnie to suggest you move in with him, Jake, and Carrington. Their house had five bedrooms and they’d been wanting another roommate for months, so when Johnnie suggested you take the fourth bed, they’d all eagerly agreed. 

“Ugh, I really wasn’t feeling like a party tonight,” you complain, tracing Johnnie’s comforter with your finger. 

“I know, y/n, me neither. But we can’t back out now, we promised Jake and Tara we’d be there.” Johnnie replies, making eye contact with you through his vanity mirror. “It’s okay, we can stick together the whole time, I promise.” 

You smile and feel your cheeks flush. Although you considered Johnnie to be one of your closest friends, there was always something about him that drew you in other than just friendship. He was a very pretty person, and there was no doubt you were physically attracted to him, but recently you couldn’t quite distinguish whether the butterflies in your stomach were just due to his appearance, or if there was something else there as well— something romantic. You were always flirting with each other, it was a bit between the two of you. It had started out as a joke in his videos, similar to how he and Jake flirt. Eventually though, it had made its way off camera. You’d both learned exactly what to do and say to make the other blush, and once you started it was hard to stop. It became like an addiction of sorts, or maybe it was longing. You both knew deep down there was more to it, that it had always been more than just a bit, but you were too anxious to do anything about it. 

“Finally!” Johnnie exhales, “I’m ready.” 

He stands and faces you, and you give him a once over, eyes lingering on his silk button-down that hangs open to show off his tattoos. “Wow, Johnnie… you look hot.” 

He clears his throat as you stand up in front of him, “You look really pretty too, y/n.”

You smile at him, “Thanks, Johnnie.” 

Suddenly, Carrington slams the door open, and you both snap your attention away from each other, “Jesus Christ, can y’all stop flirting for one second so we can leave!!” 

You start, “We weren’t-” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you gotta tell yourselves.” Carrington rolls his eyes and leads the two of you downstairs.

“Fucking finally, dudes!!” Jake yells, rolling his eyes in faux annoyance. 

“Sorry Jakey, Johnnie here took fifty fucking years to finish his makeup,” You say. 

“Damn, all that time getting ready and you still look like shit!” Jake jokes.

“Gee, thanks dude.” Johnnie says sarcastically. 

Jake claps him on the shoulder, “What? If your girlfriend’s not gonna tell you the truth, I will,” he teases. Both your mouths hang agape at his comment, and he rolls his eyes again, “Will you both chill the fuck out, I’m just jokin’! Johnnie, baby, you look great.” He wraps his arm around Johnnie’s shoulder and leads him toward the front door, and you and Carrington follow behind. 

When you arrive at Jake’s car, Carrington shouts, “I call shotgun!” And jumps into the passenger seat. Johnnie laughs as you both climb in the backseat together, and you smile at him. 

The ride to the club Tara and Jake have rented out for their party tonight is short but tense, at least for you. You had not been in the mood for social interaction tonight, as your anxiety had been particularly bad today. You had gotten overstimulated twice just from hearing Jake and Carrington yelling and clanging pots and pans from the kitchen. It wasn’t their fault and you knew it, so you had isolated yourself in your room for the majority of the day, trying to calm yourself down with the looming thought of the party hanging above your head. But you couldn’t help it, you’d been overthinking about the party all day, and the only person you could swallow being around right now was Johnnie. He must have sensed your anxiety, because he rested his hand on top of yours as Jake pulled into the club parking garage, and you turned to meet his gaze, your eyebrows furrowed. 

“Hey,” he whispered, “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll stick together, okay?” 

You exhale deeply and nod, mentally preparing yourself to take on the night. 

The four of you make your way from the parking garage into the club, where Tara waits at the door. “You’re late!” She swats at Jake’s arm in annoyance. 

“I know… these fools took too long getting ready.” He points at you and Johnnie accusingly. 

“Mhm, I bet they did.” She side-eyes you both and smirks. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Johnnie asks, light embarrassment lining his tone. 

“Nothing, nothing. Just that you two seem to be getting awfully close is all,” Tara remarks, and Jake elbows her in the side. “Ow! What? We’re all thinking it!” 

“Can we just go in?” You ask, a bit more aggressively than you’d intended, but you were eager to get this night over with. 

“Yeah! Sorry…” Tara trails off. 

The five of you walk into the club and are immediately met with blaring music, screaming and laughter. The party is already packed and it’s only 11. You don’t want to see how much crazier it’s going to get as the night goes on. 

Jake, Carrington, and Tara walk ahead to greet people as you hesitate near the entrance with Johnnie by your side. “You doing okay?” He asks. 

You try not to let your anxiety take over, and give him a thumbs up. “Maybe we could get a drink?” 

“Sure, let’s go,” he stretches his hand out towards you and you take it happily, his touch alone somewhat helping to calm your nerves. He guides you towards the bar, “What do you want, y/n? I can order for both of us.” 

“I’ll have a vodka cranberry.” 

He giggles, “Turning into a basic valley girl on me?”

“Never!” You laugh in response. 

“Well, we’ll be basic together.” He orders two vodka cranberries and then guides you to where your friends are gathered— in the middle of the crowd. “Is this okay?” He asks. 

It really wasn’t, but you didn’t want to appear weak in front of him, so you nodded, holding on even tighter to his hand as the noise escalated around you. 

Once you reach your friends, Jake and Tara start shouting over the blaring music to talk to Johnnie, no doubt teasing him for holding your hand, even though he was just being sweet. Carrington was lost in the crowd, probably dancing wildly with Troy and Keith. You didn’t know where they were. You didn’t know what Jake and Tara were saying. You couldn’t pay attention to anything other than how loud the music was, and how many people were shoving into you, invading your personal space. 

Suddenly everything was wrong. The music was hurting your ears and the colorful strobe lights were too bright. You squinted and let go of Johnnie’s hand to cover your ears, but people kept bumping into you and giving you dirty looks. You could feel your heart rate getting faster as you got more and more overstimulated by everything around you. Your breath quickened, and you felt your eyes starting to get teary. Just as your hands started tingling you finally got called back into reality by Tara, who was placing her hands on your shoulders and shaking you lightly, “Earth to y/n! Are you good?” She asked. You know she’s just joking, but you were so uncomfortable and didn’t want to be touched you shrugged her off and turned around, walking toward the exit. 

You hear Tara shout, “Jeez! What’s wrong with her?” You couldn’t explain, you couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. Johnnie’s eyes linger on you as you speed walk towards the door. 

All you could think about was how you could suddenly feel all of your clothes scratching your body, your ears and eyes were throbbing, there were pins and needles running down your forearms and paralyzing your hands, and you couldn’t breathe. Fuck, you really couldn’t breathe. You finally got outside and into the cool night air, but you couldn’t calm yourself enough to take a deep breath so you continued hyperventilating. You flapped your hands aggressively, as if trying to shake off the overstimulation that seems to be staining your body. Your cries come out as choked sobs, and you walk in circles, not knowing what to do, which only enhances your panic. Usually when you have panic attacks, you call one of your parents and they help talk you down. But it was late at night and you didn’t want to wake them. 

You’re still sobbing and hyperventilating, and your hands are still numb with pins and needles when you see Johnnie exiting the club, frantically searching for you. 

His eyes widen when he sees you, and he runs up to greet you. “Y/n, there you are!” He says, relieved. “Can I touch you?” He asks. 

You nod, still unable to speak. He was the only person you felt comfortable being touched by right now. He takes both your hands, gently pressing one to your own chest and the other to his. “Feel that?” He asks rhetorically. “Feel my heartbeat?”

You nod again.

“Breathe with me, y/n. Look at me.” 

You lock eyes with him, watching as he breathes deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth. You attempt to follow his lead, your breaths coming out strained and ragged. Soon you’re able to take a full breath in, using his heart rate as your guide and matching your breathing to his. 

“Now tell me three things you can hear,” Johnnie says.

“Um…” you mutter, your throat sore from sobbing, “I hear the party, I hear cars, and I hear crickets chirping.”

“Good. Now three things you can feel.” He never removes his hands from yours, still pressing them to your chests to keep your breathing level. 

“I can feel the wind in my hair, I feel my skirt scratching my legs… and I feel your hands.” 

He hesitates for a second, smiling at you, “Good. And now three things you can see.”

“I see cars driving by. I see the stars. And I see your eyes… you have the prettiest eyes.”

Johnnie blushes, “Thanks, y/n.” He clears his throat before letting his hands fall to his sides, “Do you feel any better?” 

You take in your surroundings, noticing how you no longer feel suffocated by your senses, you aren’t squinting at the light anymore, your hands aren’t tingling, and you are breathing normally. “Yes, I feel a lot better. How’d you know what to do?” You ask as you sit on a bench next to the club entrance. 

Johnnie joins you, sitting down and resting his hand next to yours, close but not touching. “Just some tricks my old therapist taught me. They always helped during my panic attacks.” 

“You have panic attacks?” You ask, shocked that he’s never told you. 

“I haven’t in a while, but I used to ‘cause of my anxiety and depression and stuff. You know if you felt uncomfortable in there, you could've told me, right? Making you feel like that is the last thing I ever wanna do. I would’ve gladly ditched that party and everyone there for you.” He looks down and slowly slides his hand closer to yours, resting two of his fingers on top of yours, waiting for your permission. You open your hand to him, and he intertwines his fingers with yours. You’ve held hands countless times before, but this was different. There was no mistaking this for platonic, it was completely, unapologetically romantic. 

“I didn’t want you to think I was weak,” you admit. 

Sadness rushes over his face, “Y/n… I could never think you’re weak. You remind me how to be strong everyday.”

“Thank you,” you say. “For everything.” You stand up and pull him off the bench and into a tight embrace.

He pulls away first and gazes down at you, taking you in. His eyes savor every inch of your face and he moves one hand up to cradle your neck. Your hands fall to his neck, and your eyes drop to his lips for a split second, before meeting his gaze again. “Fuck it,” you say before closing the gap between your mouths. You feel his entire body freeze at your kiss, and you immediately pull away, embarrassed. 

“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I thought–” You let out a humiliated laugh, “I completely misread this situation.” He stares at you, shock still lingering on his face. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna go,” you say, letting go of him and getting ready to walk back into the party. It’s the last thing you want to do, but saving yourself the humiliation of spending another second with Johnnie after potentially ruining your friendship is your only priority right now. 

“Y/n, wait.” He firmly grips your wrist, pulling you back into him. The hand that gripped your wrist falls back into place at the small of your back, and his other hand rests on the side of your face, thumb slowly rubbing circles into your cheek. “Kiss me,” his eyes gaze into yours with longing, “Please.” 

A small smile forms on your face, and you drape your arms around his neck again, pulling him in to kiss him. He hesitates a little at first, before finally succumbing to whatever flame was igniting between you. He yanks your torso flush against his, and you feel his tongue beg for entry. You open your mouth slightly and feel his tongue flick against yours. In one swoop he turns you around, backing you into the side of the building and resting one hand on the wall next to your head. You run your hands down his chest and eventually his waist, which you pull closer to you. A small moan escapes your lips as he pulls away from your mouth to kiss down your neck. You move your hands up the back of his shirt, clawing at his back as he sucks at a sensitive spot on your neck. He groans at the feeling of your nails on his back, and you let out a small “Fuck,” in response.

“Johnnie,” you whisper, pulling his attention away from your neck and back up to your face, “I want to kiss you again.” He smiles and leans in to grant your wish, pressing his lips to yours in yet another deep, messy kiss. Still, you couldn’t get enough of him. No matter how sloppy it got, how close your bodies were, how tangled his hands were in your hair, nothing was enough. You still needed more. 

He must’ve sensed this, because he abruptly broke away, pressing his forehead to yours and groaning out, “Let’s get out of here.” 

“But the party–” 

“I don’t really care about the party right now. They already think we’re gonna end up together, they’ll be happy to know we finally fucked.” 

You smirk, “So you wanna fuck me, Johnnie?” 

He blushes, “Was it not obvious from me practically eating your neck?” 

“Oh, it was. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

He smiles and kisses you again, his hand moving down your back to squeeze your ass. “Yeah, y/n. I want to fuck you.” 

“I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You breathe against his lips before kissing him. 

“It won’t be. I want to be more than just your best friend, if you’ll have me?”

“Do you really have to ask?” You smile, “Of course I’ll have you.”

---

i love this one and i hope you did too. as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[rinadragomir]

My thoughts on the couples included in Better in Black for those who care

I expect you to write down yours so work work

📍Wessa

You know, as a dedicated Jessa stan I wanna say that it's okay~ Because these two were together for 50 years or sth, there's still some things to add. We might watch them in their 30s, 50s, 60s. I guess at this point both camps have around the same amount of content. Plus I'll have Jessa in twp so I'm in peace 🌱

📍Clace

All my first thoughts are over here. I'm a Clace defender, I'm their oldest stan, I'm a veteran👩‍🦳 So I feel like I have a right to say that...it was kinda unnecessary. We've witnessed every step in their relationship so far, beginning of it in TMI, gentle transition to adulthood in TDA and Tales of Shadowhunter Academy, adulthood in SOBH and proposal. So if the story isn't about their wedding then WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT REALLY? And we know that they won't get married until twp.

📍Anna & Ari (Arianna!)

Hey🥺that is nice, we've seen so little of them in chain of thorns and I've loved them since their debut in 2018 in that short story. I'm very biased when it comes to TLH, cause I'm their mother. So YAY🌱they have a long way to go, Anna still needs to change a tiny little bit for them to be healthy, so I'd love to witness it

📍Jordelia

We all have known about it, because Cassie kinda promised us their story a while ago. Wedding runes scene, honeymoon, kids, mortgage etc. Go kids, slay, serve, eat and so on, I'm excited for u!

📍Sebastian & Seelie Queen

🤨🧐🤔👁👁

Yeah... That famous Sebastian &Fanbase. Like... I'm conflicted, because it's useless and doesn't make any sense even tho it might slay. Listen up, I'll show you.

Lots of people defend it by saying that it might be important for Ash's background in TWP. But... No it's not. Because this is exclusive book made for few people who were lucky and financially stable enough to get it. It won't be posted online. So most people won't read it unless someone leaks it. So there's no point for that story to be important for the plot, therefore it has nothing to do with it.

And it's definitely not "one of the most beloved" couples. BUT LIKE... WHAT IF IT SLAYS? Toxic, unhinged romance, what if I'll love it? 🤡

📍Jemma

So you see the problem? Because it's the same as Clace. What else might she add, because there's nothing. SoBH ended like yesterday. We know exactly where they live rn, their daily routine, their plans. So there's nothing to add between SOBH and twp. What will it be about? Hard to say, but I hope Cassie will come up with sth interesting for them.

📍Thomastair (why did Cassie say Alistair instead of Alastair, I'm lost help me)

Yay🥺slay, serve, eat and leave no crumbs, go, kill it idk you're doing great boys, there's so much to add and explore because they've just started dating. I'm so excited ^-^

📍Kierartkina

That is fine. No matter what I think about their relationship, because in my point of view Cristina and Kieran fell in love because Cassie said so apparently, I still don't mind them being there. Because there's also lots of things to discuss and explore. I hope the story will be soft and warm☀they've just started their advantage so it definitely makes sense

📍Sizzy

Even though we've had lots of them in TMI and Shadowhunters Academy I still think they deserve to be here. They are famous (I guess? 👁👁) and I'd like to know more about their plans for future. Simon was still a teenager in the stories collection and now I'd love to see him as a grown man being in relationship with the woman he loves.

📍Luke & Jocelyn

👁👁🤨🧐🤔👀

Well... That was... Unexpected. I guess... I've just never met their fandom but I hope it's huge af, because I don't know why else would they be here. Sophideon, Gabrily and Charlotte with Henry were supposed to be here, let's be honest. But since they're here, I do think Cassie is able to make a decent story. I expect it to be bittersweet, angsty and somehow heartwarming. I think there's nothing to say except let's wait and find out.

OVERALL I think it's pretty fine. Maximum 7/10 from me. I was ready to face the worst, but it turned out to be... Fine. So it's fine☺🌱

[happyandticklish]

I've Created a Monster

So, I took the, maybe ill-advised, plunge, and told the dude I've been seeing for the past three months that I'm into tickling

And it turned out fucking great, I still cannot believe my luck in this area

Apologies if I rant for a bit. I have been living out my dreams for the past couple of weeks and need to share it with someone (outside of a few people already in the community who I've already told) or I will explode. It gets a tad TMI at the end, so I put that bit under the cut for people's comfort. So beware of that in advance

So a bit of background. I had been seeing this dude for about a month and a half when we got on the subject of kinks. At first just kind of generally discussing them, and eventually getting into what we're into. And I admitted that I had one that was a bit weird, not only because it was unorthodox, but also because I had a huge amount of trouble actually saying what it was, which of course spiked his curiosity. But he was really chill about it and didn't push, but there kept being tickly moments that kept popping up naturally in the relationship, none of which were lasting longer than a couple seconds. As such, mostly out of frustration at the brevity of these moments, I mustered up the courage at 3am to finally confess.

He was quiet for a bit and mostly just held me (I think because I definitely looked as anxious as I felt--I also have to give him props for having patience during the three fucking minutes it took me to confess because I was working up the courage to simply say the Word). Then he started asking me how long I'd known that I was into it, why I was into it, what appealed to me about tickling, things along that line, all of which I stumbled my way through answering. He then proceeded to inform me that he didn't think I was weird, or that liking tickling was weird, and that he had been expecting much worse and thought it was kind of cute.

After that, tickling started cropping up more in the relationship. It took a while to explain that I was totally okay with more intense tickling and that me squirming away and sometimes asking him to stop were reflexes that should be ignored (it was somewhat endearing how he would immediatelly stop to make sure I was good, if somewhat frustrating sometimes), but he eventually got it. He even briefly pinned me down once, a move he has yet to repeat, but eventually I will get up the courage to ask him to.

I had told him that I was into both doing and receiving the tickling, but also that he was under no pressure to get tickled if he didn't want to. But after a while we were cuddling when he said, quote, "I think I'm actually into this tickling thing. It feels kind of nice whenever you do it to me, and I do love how much it gets to you." And then gave me permission to tickle him, which was way more than I was hoping for

Although he is able to control his reactions and just stay still for it which is baffling to me ("well if I moved, it would stop happening??" yeah?? I know?? But most people can't do that shit 🤨)

Guys. He started looking into tools and shit. This man is researching into the community. Came to me all excited like a dork, talking about feathers and toothbrushes and the fucking Wartenberg Wheel and how he thinks that he'd may be be down to include bondage with tickling stuff (which I'd mentioned I'd be into before). He was all, "I also discovered that some people are into tickle torture, isn't that wild?" Meanwhile I'm over here like, "yeah, it is wild, isn't it, imagine that haha"

He's suggested safe words on his own too, worked out boundaries,,,,

Anyways. He's embraced this way more than I can image and I am living the dream

TMI under cut! Avert your eyes if shmexy things make you uncomfy!

He's also started tickling me while we fuck (and sometimes when he goes down on me) and my fellow people of tumblr. It makes everything so insanely intense. I have had to be like, "babe, I love this, this is great, but I cannot concentrate on any coherent goal if you keep this up".

Also definitely discovered that my ass is ticklish during this process and it is a fact that he will not let go. Not that I am complaining 😏

[osarina]

OMG I LOVE THE EMOJI!!! THANK YOU!!!

Vampire!Dazai 🧛 anon here because it’s time to talk about somno with Dazai again, methinks

When he was the one asleep, you partially considered yourself lucky. He was not used to sleeping without you nearby, but he did work almost four goddamn straight days in choppy territory and stressful conditions.

If it had been any other night, you would have woken him up — not even on purpose, he was just a light sleeper. But he was down for the count.

Which was great for his health, but dreadful for your — not to be crass, but you found no other way of putting it — horny self.

He was lying on your bed in a manner that made your heartbeat go erratic for a moment. He was on his back with one arm reaching towards the other side of the bed — your side of the bed. His head was tilted to face in the same direction.

You traced his jaw with a featherlight touch, enjoying the soft sigh that exited him when your skin met his for the first time that night.

(It would not be the last.)

You approached him by putting one knee on the bed, right beside his waist. You remained standing as your hand moved from his jaw to his cheek. He leaned into your touch.

Your pupils went wide. Oh, you wanted to eat him alive. To consume all he could give.

You swung your other leg over him and sat back, sitting on his pelvis with your hands on your mid-thigh. You slid your hands down towards your knees before leaning forward and placing them on either side of his head. You looked down at the person who caused so much pain and grief in the lives of others while erasing life’s inevitable dullness and loneliness from yours.

You were going to be selfish. You wanted to be selfish and indulge yourself in something you had both agreed upon a while ago.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling one of his thighs instead, since his noises were part of what got you going.

“If you were awake…” You didn’t kiss his lips, you kissed the corners of and around them.

“I wonder what you’d say.” You whispered against his jaw, grinding down against his thigh. Your breath caught at the first electric sensation; oh, you hadn’t anticipated that.

The idea that this was actually happening started to sink in.

Yeah, you could get behind this.

-sorry I got carried away because I have more but this was getting so long lmaoooo not to be tmi but can you tell I’m ovulating-

OH MY GODDDDDD DON'T APOLOGIZE U HAVE ME INSANE ACTUALLY IM SO OBSESSED WITH SOMNO IT'S MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING EVER I'M GOING TO COMBUST

... kissing down his neck and listening to all the soft noises he lets out, watching how responsive his body is to your touch even while he's fast asleep... and you feel bad because you can't imagine how exhausted he must be for him to not wake up for this. he's usually a light sleeper which is part of the reason why he has so much trouble sleeping. he lets out a shaky breath, shifting around when you free his cock from his sweats and you leave soft kisses on his lips to try to soothe him, waiting for him to settle back down before sinking down on his cock and as soon as he's buried to the hilt inside of you, his lashes are fluttering, brown eyes all hazy with sleep and confused as he tries to figure out what's going on, a moan already falling from his lips .... somno ....

[danieyells]

been thirsting over subaru before the new chapter even dropped, but now i'm really going through it. this might be tmi, but when it comes to pretty boys like him, i either want to make them into a pretty crying mess or let them have their way with me. it was the former before, but after seeing him express his anger towards humans? god, i cannot; i became very weak to that shit so quickly! i'd let him have his way with me anytime, anyday, but i'd probably have to fuck some confidence into him first before that ever happens <3

THERE ARE NO TMIS HERE ANON tell me your darkest and dirtiest /chinhands and kicks feet) it just may take me a while to get to them because i am very slow and my adhd is in the way and it's easy to lose track of things in my inbox and notes--

I think it'd be pretty easy to make Subaru into a crying mess, although you may have to be a bit mean to him to do it and make him touch a lot of people or things against his will to be overwhelmed by their memories and traumas and awful feelings. . .or maybe bring him to Jabberwock and let him watch Towa electrocute anomalies. . .actually now that I think about it when he asks if you frequent Sinostra in his voicelines I wonder if it's because he knows Taiga just raw eats anomalies and Romeo auctions off anomalies and he hates them for it. . .another thought for another post.

On the other hand between him being an actor and him having had experienced this for a while I wonder if he's beyond crying over it. . .he didn't cry for the souls of those children and the dolls after all.

but also with him being an actor if you told him you wanted him to cry he could probably do it on command. It'd be fake crying but I think, if he liked you, he'd want to please you and be able to cry for you haha

on the other hand. . .if you've done some bad shit in your life and he sees it all in your memories when he touches you, assuming he still likes you enough to fuck, it'd also be easy to get him to fuck you to tears lololol or maybe you could suggest he use you for stress relief("oh, no, I could never do that--" "No no no! I want you to. No pressure from either of us!" "Ah. . . .") but like. . .he'd need to really trust you. He thinks every minor infraction of his will make people hate him and leave him, so it'd probably take a lot to get him to rough you up if he actually likes you. but if you've enjoyed any sort of masochistic or submissive sexual activities and he saw that in your memories he might at least be lighter on himself since it's obviously something you enjoy. . . .

So, yeah, you're absolutely right. Confidence and comfort and trust building first. . .then absolutely ruining your holes. Maybe some punishment play if you're into that or you've done some horrible things in your life. He'd give great aftercare though, you'd have all day aftercare with him. He'd need just as much aftercare because you don't hate me right please don't hate me i was trying to do something you'd like but when i think about it you were in pain and that must have been awful and i understand if you hate me but i really like you and hope you don't or i can make up for it--BUT LIKE. HE'D TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. I can definitely see him as a people pleaser, if he liked the person and didn't think they were awful. On the other hand I can see him liking someone and learning they were awful to other people or animals or anomalies and he just. . .I still like you but we have to make sure you learn and improve and do better. I'll help you. That wasn't an offer, that was an order.

[imaginecolby]

Friends with Benefits || Part Eight - The First Few Months

"colby, honey, could you grab me another towel!" you called from the bathroom.

"yes, yes! just a sec." you heard him call back from the nursery. lucas unfortunately just had a huge blow out, and you immediately put him in the bath. colby quickly arrived in the bathroom, another towel in hand.

"thank you, sweet. someone decided he was going to pull his nice clean towel into the bath with him, so now it's soaked." you teased, shooting a look at lucas. he recognized your unserious expression and immediately started cackling. "don't you laugh at me, mister!" you jokingly scolded him, poking his belly. he started laughing louder, your heart swelling at the sound.

"i don't think i can ever punish him. he's too cute." you pouted at colby.

"he shit on your pants." colby said, pointing to your thigh and stifling a laugh.

"what else is new?" you shrugged. you finished lucas' bath, and colby took him to get dressed, allowing you to take a shower yourself. once you were done, and changed, you put a small load of laundry on before meeting the boys in the living room. colby was feeding him on the couch, and you sat down next to them, resting your head on colby's shoulder.

these last few months were a huge adjustment, but you and colby were making it happen. you fell into a quick routine that was comfortable for the both of you. it was lucky that you and colby were both able to take these first few months to focus on the baby and setting your routine, because you knew it was going to be much harder if either of you was having to go through it alone.

but lucas had been such a good baby. he ate and slept well, and he hadn't really kept you up all that much. he cried very infrequently, but when he did, he wailed. fortunately, you learned quickly that was only the case when he needed a clean diaper, and were alway quick to change him.

most of your nights were spent at home, with the exception of doctors appointments. you had friends coming over periodically, to see the baby and check on you and colby, which was always nice. the first night sam came over, it started out like any normal night, but ended up being quite emotional.

"god, i can't believe he's real. i had a hard time believing this when you first told me y/n was pregnant. but holding him here, he feels like a little doll." sam breathed out a laugh, lucas resting comfortably in his arms.

"yeah, we felt that when we first brought him home. but after about the zillionth diaper, the realness set in." colby laughed.

"this is definitely TMI, but i think the realness set in for me the first time he bit my nipple. that was unpleasant." you said, walking over to sam and handing him a bottle. sam began feeding him, and lucas quickly took the bottle into his mouth. "he's very attached."

"he gets that from me." colby teased, pulling you into the couch with him.

"okay, i know this is your house, but i'm right here." sam said, feigning nausea.

"sorry. our filters are broken, given the exhaustion." you laughed along with colby. sam just shook his head, turning his attention back to lucas in his arms. 

"i hope you show a bit more discretion than your parents." sam said to him. just then, you heard a small toot. "awe, c'mon dude." sam laughed. you all sat there silently as sam continued feeding lucas, and were suddenly overcome with emotion.

"i am so proud of you both. i know your relationship did not get off to the most normal start, and you had some shocking changes to it. but you stepped up and made it work. you've got such a great kid here and i know you're going to continue to raise him into a wonderful human."

"sam." you said with a pout, fighting tears.

"i mean it! especially with you." he said, turning his attention to colby. "we've grown up together, and getting to see my best friend grow into a father is amazing. i can't wait to watch you become the great dad you're destined to be. i konw you'ce always wanted a family, and i'm so glad that i get to be here with you while you're starting it."

"i love you, man." colby said to him. you got up to take lucas from sam, and stood back as he and colby shared a tight hug. you were so glad that sam was as supportive towards colby as he'd always been. and you were glad that he'd become such a great friend to you as well. you knew he was going to be a great uncle to your baby, and lucas was going to be so lucky to have sam by his side.

[fantasylandbitch]

top 5 fav writers

Top 5 Fav Writers hmm..

But if I had to say my top 5 it would be-..hold on before I say whom and I know this isn't apart if of the question, however, every writer sort of in some way fills a particular need or a want that I long for....TMI ahead.

1. Alkivm because and this is kind of embarrassing to admit but I love love how she writes erotica. Because the way she writes and how she interprets it is very like "Wanting, Desire, I need you, I want everything you have to offer but slowly I don't want to scare you, and like I crave you" at least that is what I see in her writing in my opinion and she doesn't seem afraid to go in-depth. Also her non smut writing is equally as beautiful because to me she writes from a personal place of love and fun and who doesn't want that? It's like I got permission to like erotica and everything linked to it and honestly I'm here to stay.

(Also Alkivm is mysterious and wise. Everything about her screams attractive and cool and I'm pretty sure she knows it to. Yeah i said it. Am I scared for admitting that yes.)

2. Blackwolfstabs because I'm falling in love with how she writes for Sam and Tara. She adds a different approach to the girls and the way she writes its raw and personal to me it just adds a bit of flavor to her writing. I also love how she adds so much emotion to the characters like when Sam and Tara are protective of each other or when they're feeling a bit vulnerable. I guess I feel like its something I missed out on a little with my older sisters but I know we all kind of grew up differently and were molded differently. She hits where it hurts sometimes and its great to feel emotions when you least expect it.

3. Zombiemeadow because the way he writes for Billy and Stu is so spot on to me its crazy. In a good way of course and he writes the characters with a real but also silly dynamic sometimes but that is literally how those two characters are even though Billy Loomis is kind of mean. Now admittedly I've only read some of Billy's work, however, I'm looking forward to reading more from him.

(his writing reminds me of my little  brother a little because my brother is super silly but he knows how to talk to people without a care in the world.)

4. Wandagrcre because she writes really well for Wanda, Sam Carpenter, Black Widow, Carol Danvers, and Kate Bishop. And I dont know why but for some reason I feel like I've been following her forever..even though I might be wrong. I say that because maybe something about her writing is super familiar to me and its not a bad thing. It feels like a lost soul or companion seeing each other again and how she writes is like *chefs kiss* its hard to put into words.

5. Me lol I'm just messing with you but at the moment I don't have anyone else in mind, like that sounds bad I know. But I do appreciate the range that you guys are able to write and you guys should be proud of the work you put out.

This is a shout out to all writers out there!!!!

❤️😘☺️❤️

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

hi, i'm trying to figure out my sexuality, I feel like i'm bi but i feel that a part of me is aroace. How did y'all figure it out?

"Well, things were a little different back when I lived. Sexuality wasn't talked about much, at least not openly. I was just expected to like women and want to sleep with them, and I did, so for a while, I didn't give it much thought, even if I did notice an attractive man every now and then. It wasn't till I caught my first girlfriend cheating on me with a friend and I realized I was jealous of both of them, that I realized I actually like guys in just the same way."

"And what happened with that first girlfriend?"

"Oh, we kept dating. I just joined in whenever they hooked up. Pretended it was for her, but really, it was the best sex ever was with her. So, what about you? I know you only recently got the terms for it, but...?"

"As you said, I was only recently told that I am apparently 'aroace'. My sexuality was something that I never gave much thought to! I never understood why people got so worked up over the thought of sex, or what qualified as 'attractive'. And I was never drawn to anybody romantically, either. Though, would you mind if we got Mel to weigh in here? As she is both bi and asexual, she might be able to speak more to your particular dilemma."

So yeah, not sure I'm the best person to speak on this, considering it took me so long to figure it out myself, but I'll just share some of my story. I remember when I was really young, worrying that there was something wrong with my heart because I wasn't sure it recognized that some people were girls, and so I wasn't supposed to like them like that. But I had a hard time distinguishing if what I felt about certain female friends was different from some of my male crushes. I grew up in a very small, conservative town, so the concept of sexuality was not something that was ever explained to me, and so I just shut down that part of myself.

Skip forward to getting married at 24 and being a little disappointed I never got the chance to kiss a girl, and realizing that whenever I have a couple drinks, I can't stop staring at all the women in the bar. Eventually, I determined that I am, in fact, bi. I talked to my best friend about it (who's also bi), and she was just like 'yeah, I know'.

Now, not to get too TMI, but my sex life with my husband was never what I felt like it should be (as ridiculous of a concept it is to have a standard for how it 'should be'). A bit of context - waiting till marriage was a value for both of us, so this was a whole new world to explore. I questioned if it was due to past trauma I experienced, or if I just had low sex drive. I liked the idea of sex, but it didn't feel like this amazing thing that was integral to a relationship. I also really didn't understand the way my husband naturally reacts when he sees me naked, and I wondered if there was something wrong with me, or if I was a bad wife, for not responding the same to him. Like, I can appreciate the naked body (especially boobs, cause they're great), but I'm more enjoying the aesthetics and not necessarily having a reaction to it.

First I started to think I might be demi, since I do like the idea of sex, I have some kinks, and I genuinely want to have sex with my husband, it's just not nearly as important to me as it is to him. But then I started writing radiostatic fanfic and exploring that dynamic, and I write Alastor as being willing to have sex, despite being ace because it fills a different need for him (i.e. kinky torture time), and I realized that that was actually much closer to my own experience. And if you're curious, learning this about myself and being able to communicate the way I feel with my husband has done wonders for our sex life, and marriage in general.

I don't know if any of that was helpful at all. I can't as well weigh in on the aro side of things, except to say, what has always attracted me to a person the most, male or female, is the vibes they put off. I think romantic attraction is something that's difficult to define, but the fact that I'm able to be attracted to someone in that sense is how I land on biromantic for myself instead of aromantic.

I know this was a long post, but as someone who has only fully discovered my sexuality at 30, it's something that I'm kind of passionate about. I hope it helps!

[kelyon]

TMI Tuesday

Good morning, Tumblr!

Things are going pretty well in Kelyonland. June is my favorite time of year. It's light out until like 9, it's not stupid hot yet, and my birthday is this week. It's sort of an odd feeling where I dread getting older, but I still enjoy my birthday. So yeah, I'm having a good time.

Writing is going well. Last Friday I posted Talking on the Telephone. It's a cute little pwp from my verse where Belle is a dominatrix. I haven't finished the next chapter of Courtship (Trousseau), but I have every confidence that it'll be done in time to post on Friday. I do have snippets to anyone who asks.

Not much else to say right now. I hope you all have a great day. Hit me up with questions about anything. Be good to yourselves.

Talking on the Telephone is here

Courtship is here

My inbox is here

[alluralater]

dw I didn't find it infantalizing at all !! it's funny for me cause it's like a meme at this point girls being like "omg I'm so small uwu" to flirt but I don't think I ever used that to flirt? I'm more of a let's compare hand sizes cause I have a thing for hands 💀💀 (sorry if its too tmi

being small is like cute for size kink but personally i can’t do a height difference where the other person is below more than 5’2. i’ve done before and it just— it feels like maybe the compatibility is off for me + too much height difference especially during sex triggers my trauma responses real fast. to each their own i suppose :) but yeah the uwu im so small gives me the ick unfortunately. like if average height (5’4-5-7) do that or if tall ppl do that i usually find it funny and like kinda charming but yeah i think my childhood trauma gives me the ick about it when shorter people do it. sometimes it depends on the person though and i will like it?? the human brain is so tedious lmfao. i think it’s SO cute when someone wants to compare hand sizes. so many people have done that with me and i love it. great flirting technique. 10/10 <3

[songmingisthighs]

a bit tmi about writing on tumblr and good writers leaving this community

so i write literally whatever i want. I take in requests but i can't act upon it if i'm not inspired and people here know i work at my own pace. I'd like to say that i'm one of the lucky ones who still get support despite everything i put people here through with my breakdowns and burnouts and really confusing working schedule and availability. sure i have to reprimand some people who pressure me or give me a hard time regarding my work, going as far as implementing the anon policy where i absolutely do not hold back when people don't follow my rules, and i get both hate and support for that. some people don't like the way i protect myself and some think it's all well deserved, either way the system works for me and I've been on this account for the past... 3 years ?? idk i forgot tbh but I've been here a while

i envy people who get a lot of attention with whatever they write, going as far as getting 6000 notes with one post and that's the kind of attention i can only wish to get. but i realize with such attention comes great burden. i saw people who do enjoy writing getting more reluctant to post because they're scared and they overthink and they lost the joy in writing and it sucks seeing that. they had to work around what they think people would accept or like and GOD that's tiring as fuck.

but what sucks more are the people who consume content like air and think that they're entitled to get more that's why they pressure writers to post. they see what is available and forget that there is a person behind the screen who has a life. like do you think i camp on tumblr 24/7? i have work, i have a life. granted it's not a fulfilling nor a productive one but i have things going on in my life. some people don't understand boundaries, some people can't differentiate 'hi. can i ask if you're planning on updating this series?' and 'it's been too long since you update this series. please update it, i need more' like the second one is TECHNICALLY okay if you know the author but if it's like someone you never interacted with, it's just disgusting. like for me personally, if you prefaced the second sentiment with something like your experience reading my crap or smth, i'd probably react to it well but if it goes straight to 'hey why aren't you updating?' the bad side of me will come out and i don't mean the right side of my face.

that being said, i don't agree with authors who pressure readers to like and reblog too. like that's how you get to 4k notes ig? but that just never sat well with me. maybe because i already set a certain expectation in this blog which is 'what i put here is simply what i want, you can enjoy it or not, and if you want to appreciate my effort to provide content, that's up to you'. like yeah comments and reblogs support my drive to post like the more i get them, the more i feel motivated to post but i wouldn't put something like 'if you want me to post more, reblog because likes don't give traffic' or smth like you're a writer, you could've created a more acceptable sentence. but if said writer is going for 'i provide this so I'm entitled to things i think i deserve' then... good for you ig?

point is, i think there is a correlation between writers and readers here and no matter what the reason behind someone leaving the tumblr writing community, i think the writer-reader aspect still has a play in it. i especially hate readers who criticize writers when they themselves contribute NOTHING in the form of content. I'm a firm believer of 'if you think it's a problem, be the solution' and that's how i came into writing here anyway. I didn't see the type content i like so i make it. that's it. i worry if people would accept my work but at the end of the day, it's so interesting seeing the 3 am thoughts i had turned into actual content. i don't get paid and god do i wish i got paid for doing this. but still, I'm lucky with the people, including readers, that i have around me. it's sad seeing good writers burning out and leaving but I'm glad that their lives still went on. but not the people that ran out of tumblr because of the crap they pulled. they can go ahead and camp in wattpad idc

[himbo-in-limbo]

Kure Rain x s/o Rant! (New season spoilers)

[tw gore n bloody stuff mentioned]

In hype of the new season (that I literally just finished binge watching a couple days ago)

It got me thinking of my mans

That crazy bastard that I love sm Kure Raian

(I'm so fuckin mad about what was supposed to be his big fight when the coup happened)

Anyways anytime I read a fic of Raian x reader it's always the same-ish thing of the reader not fully loving the sheer brutality that Raian is

I can't be the only one that gets excited seeing him covered in blood! Like dawg if I saw him all nice n bloody like that with a sexy smile comin at me all nonchalant

Like "Hey baby~ did you like the bloodbath?" I'm jumping on him and making out right then n there..

I wanna be covered in the same blood ya feel me? (That's TMI probably..)

It's probably bc I'm a fan of gore or something but like you gotta understand that killing is not only his job ITS HIS PASSION

And him being an asshole is also part of it, sure you can try n convince him to not FULLY kill someone but honestly I'd say you have a 1% chance of succeeding...

It'd have to be a solid good reason tho

Not just cuz your his partner...

Even so! Odds are the person he's messing with is a stranger to you 😭 (if your not into him killing random ppl then maybe not be in a relationship with him)

He has few morals...which align with his assassin fams code but he's just a morally grey character

That's what's so hot about him honestly

You can't ever really predict who he'll spare and for what reason...

But you get to see his fine ass just deal with grown ass men like nothing is a treat all in it's own

Hell we don't even know how he'd act in a relationship bc he hardly ever shows interest in anyone like that! He likes scarring people to hell tho

So I'd wager if you "end up with him" expect it to be a big ol situationship...

It's best to not put labels on it bc if you pressure him with that he looks like the type to leave...

And even if you are sick of it! Just tell him up front that he can either make it official or you'll leave!

That might make him realize that he has something genuine with you OR y'all just break it off and you can find yourself a better partner

Bc lets face it 😭 he's....not the best

His familys great tho I bet they'd be all over you

Especially if you're cool with reproducing an heir 💀

If not hey their just shocked he was able to find ANYONE that would "date" him

Like really? Him? Okay...

Raian doesn't strike me as the type to care much if you leave him, tho if you did have a profound impact on him

I think he'd stalk you for a bit...you'd never know he's there btw

He'd totally stalk the hell outta your new partner tho...and if their no good he'll kill em with much thought..

He dose care in his own way :D it's just bat shit crazy

I feel like If Raian did have a canonical partner they'd have to be a bit cooky themselves ya know? 😭

N yeah he might not say much but he dose better expressing his feelings through acts of service or just in general sleeping with you

Bc again we haven't seen him interact with anyone like that or show interest at all!

So odds are him sleeping with people is a rare thing! (Demisexual ass...)

But yeah back to him fighting n stuff I feel like he'd be super happy if his partner was also excited about seeing a real blood bath of a fight

Like yeah probably not the best influence on him like that but asdhsjsnskk

Honestly I wouldn't be able to help it

He's like when ppl are in love with the horror icons

You love ppl like ghost face n Jason! There def not gonna stop doing what they do! N their hella crazy!

That's the vibes Raian gives me...

The only thing that's different is, I feel like the more years you spend with him he WILL calm down by like 10% and he may not go off on ppl randomly like when he was younger but he'd still do it on occasion...

[plumadot]

Just wanted to say your blog is like a place of comfort and the way you talk is so human in a way that I've never seen before and you give off such a silly soft vibe and I really like being on your blog and it is literally one of the main reasons I have Tumblr

So. Yeah. Uh. You are very cool. Very silly. Silly cool. But very soft.

Oh uhm just so you don't take this the wrong way all of this is /pos :))

Love you (in a way a fan says "I love you" to their fav celebrity), Plume, keep on doing what you are doing

- 🕶️

ahhh gjfdkgjfd ehhh wow hehe. i mean. i am human :D and i feel more and more (feedback on here also helps with that!) that i'm allowed to be human :D maybe tmi but i'm working on stuff like that in therapy too because for a really long time i've been kinda not letting myself be myself at all? so maybe i now overdo it sometimes i really have no idea actually but!!! thanks for being cool about it!!!!

i like silly soft. a lot. it's nice :D words like soft and silly and cute are all great because to me it reads as harmless and safe. and i like that :') it's (probably too excessively) important to me

"fav celebrity" threw me off lmao gkfjdkgjf but i think you understand what you mean gkjfdkgjf big love back <3 thanks for sending me this super kind message ;v;

[itsjustagoober]

So, now that I finally have enough energy to focus to do this, I'm gonna tell y'all why I suddenly disappeared yesterday afternoon and didn't come back until about now.

Also, gonna put it under a break in case some of you all find this a little TMI. Better safe than sorry, right? Love y'all, too.

So, yesterday morning, I woke up not feeling too great. Nothing new so I didn't pay it much heed. It was the kind of not great where I didn't have an appetite, though, so I then forgot to eat and drink all day.

By the time it hit the afternoon, I was dizzy and nauseous. I couldn't stand or move too much without feeling awful and I couldn't keep anything but liquids down. I had chills and it hurt to go to the bathroom.

After my mom got home, she took me to Urgent Aid and they took me right back once they saw how bad I was and how my vitals were reading. I had a fever of 103°F, my heart rate was 170 and trying to go to the bathroom felt like trying to pass a small knife while peeing.

I was in Urgent Aid from about 6pm until 3am (CST). During that time, I:

-had my blood drawn for testing

-had to give a urine sample

-was given two bag of saline solution to rehydrate me, along with cup of water

-given graham crackers when I was allowed to eat again

-tried to force myself to stay still to calm down and lower my heart rate

After all was said and done, it seems I had another bad UTI and it compounded with the fever and raised heart rate. Doctor told me to take it easy for the next couple days, take my antibiotics and ibuprofen and to try and cut out caffeine from my life. He was mostly shocked about how my resting heart rate was still 120, when the average is supposed to be somewhere between 80-100.

So, yeah. I'm okay and home right now, just taking it very, very easy right now. The antibiotics seem to be working and the ibuprofen definitely is, so I might be a little more up to doing in the next couple days. This is the first time, in a long time, that I've had to stay at a hospital for myself like that. Hopefully, I don't have to go back anytime soon, for that reason.

But yeh, that's where I'm at right now. Hope you all have a good rest of your week and I'll be sort of floating around here maybe lol. Just as long as I keep my heart rate down.