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the-scandalorian · 3 years

Text

Tempered Glass: Chapter 3

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader Rating: M (will become explicit) Word Count: 6.3k Warnings: slow burn, canon rewrite, canon-typical violence, cursing Summary: You and Mando choose Sorgan as your place to lay low, only to get wrangled into a risky job. Notes: In my head, Cara Dune is Katy O’Brian.. Yes, I’m ignoring the fact that she plays one of Moff Gideon’s officers lol Taglist: @bbdoyouloveme @beskarhearts @dincrypt @honey-hi @just-me-and-my-obsessions00 @red-leaders @zoemariefit

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Image from The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian

The three of you sat in the cockpit—Mando piloting the ship, you in the copilot seat behind him, and the kid perched on the console. He had slipped out of his own seat, waddled to the front of the cockpit, and managed to grasp the edge of the console with his tiny hands and scrabble his legs against the front of it to shimmy all the way up there. Honestly, it was an impressive feat for such a small being. Mando pretended not to notice, keeping his visor trained on the viewport.

You’d been sitting in silence for a while, watching the stars streak by. It was a fairly comfortable silence, considering you were complete strangers and still trying to feel out the limits of your tenuous alliance.

Looking at the back of Mando’s helmet, the surface of which reflected the bands of hyperspace that surged around the Crest, you thought again about how challenging it was to read him: there was so little to go on. No facial expressions, no significant looks, and very few gestures—even the cadence of his breathing was largely disguised by the helmet and modulator.

That was definitely part of his appeal: the mystery. He was an almost blank canvass where others were open books. Because your survival had hinged on your ability to read people, you had gotten so good at it that the task lost its fun rather quickly. Mando was an interesting new game.

In some ways, the armor forced the Mandalorian to be much more straightforward. Because it obscured his features, he had to ask for what he wanted outright—unless it was from a bounty. He could easily communicate threat with just his stance. Anything else, though, he had to verbalize. You were interested to see how this would play out in his interactions with you. You weren’t a job or his enemy, and you were really hoping that meant he’d eventually be slightly less withholding with you.

The baby, looking around, cooed quietly and reached over to flick a random switch on the panel to his right. Mando disregarded the action, pressing a few buttons in front of him. You stifled a chuckle.

The kid, clearly testing his boundaries, leaned over to flick another switch. It turned green when he activated it, and the sound of a machine whirring kicked in.

“Stop touching things,” snapped Mando, frustrated, turning to look at him. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face, grateful that Mando couldn’t see you.

The child lowered his ears and trilled sadly in response to the admonishment but recovered quickly: his ears pricked back up, and keeping his eyes trained on Mando in what seemed like a purposeful act of open rebellion, he leaned over slowly to flick yet another switch. This one turned red, and the ship rattled in response. You let out a sharp bark of laughter, slapping a hand over your mouth to smother the rest of your reaction.

This time, Mando pushed one large gloved hand past the baby to deactivate the switch and picked him up to set him on his lap. You smiled again, knowing this was likely what the kid was trying to achieve anyways. He wanted attention.

“Do you know his name?” you asked. You assumed he didn’t because he always called him “the kid”...but it also wouldn’t be a surprise if Mando did know his name and just chose to call him that instead.

“No,” he replied. “You ready to pick a planet?” Mando changed the subject abruptly as he reclined to look at you over his shoulder.

“Sure,” you agreed, standing to lean over the back of his chair so you could see the screen in front of him.

After some discussion and research, toggling through the nearby planets on the nav, you decided on Sorgan as your place to lay low. It was a rural planet, sparsely inhabited and undeveloped. Mando described it as “a real backwater skughole.” But there were some small settlements, so there would be food and fuel.

Your stomach gurgled loudly.

“I’m going to go eat,” you said, standing to leave the cockpit.

Mando, still holding the baby, stood to follow.

You moved toward the door just as Mando did the same, both attempting to walk through it together. He paused and stepped back, pressing himself against the wall as far as he could to let you by, gesturing you forward with his free hand.

Without thinking, you touched his arm lightly as you slipped past him in the tight doorway, and he flinched away, wrenching his arm back. You withdrew your hand quickly and looked up at him.

“Sorry,” he explained gruffly, visor tilted down at you. “Reflex.”

“I get it.”

He twitched his hand forward like he was considering reaching for you then decided against it, clenching it into a fist by his side.

You stood in the confined space for a moment, pinned by the mesmerizing void of his visor. Inches from your chest, he was so tall and imposing, somehow equally menacing and alluring as he towered over you. It was hard to ignore his intoxicating magnetism when you were this close to him.

He cocked his head the tiniest bit, and you realized, with a rush of embarrassment, that he was waiting for you to move.

Flustered, you turned and climbed down the ladder to find your pack. Mando followed and sat across the hull from you, after settling the kid into a makeshift crib—a storage box lined with blankets—on the floor beside his feet. He busied himself adjusting something on the complicated armor that covered his forearm, as you ate one of your ration packs.

You studied him as he worked. As far as you could tell—with the glaring exception of the presence of the child—Mando was the definition of a bounty hunter. He worked alone, and all he did was work.

He was clearly not used to casual, nonthreatening human contact, aside from that of the child.

You felt a deep, cutting sadness when you really pondered the solitude of his existence. The bulk of his interactions were violent confrontations. He had the child, but for how long? He seemed a recent acquisition. Did Mando have friends? When was the last time he felt at ease around another adult person?

When was the last time someone touched him, other than a bounty during a fight?

You’d been on the run for years and, at times, it had almost killed you—not the running itself, but the loneliness. No matter how much time you had to adjust, it remained a draining existence. You maintained only loose contacts and casual, fleeting relationships. How long had his life been exactly the same? Decades? Had he ever known anything different?

You looked down at the baby. The presence of the child spoke to the possibility that he at least wanted something different for himself.

The kid seemed to feel your gaze and turned his head to train his huge eyes on you. You smiled at him. He grabbed the edge of the box with his tiny three-fingered hands to haul himself over the side and toddled his way over to where you sat. He hugged your calf, looking up at you expectantly.

Mando was busy fiddling with the controls on his vambrace and didn’t notice.

“Can I?” You gestured down at the kid. Mando’s head flicked up.

“I guess,” he acquiesced hesitantly. He watched as you reached down to pick up the kid.

The baby settled happily into your lap, looking up to reach a hand toward your face. You met his hand with your own, and he was content to latch his little fingers around your much larger one and sit back. He babbled and wiggled the tiny green toes that poked out of the bottom of his outfit, which appeared to be made out of the altered sleeve of an old beige flight jacket.

Despite the fact that the child was more than happy cuddled in your arms, Mando was visibly uncomfortable. Abandoning his task completely, he sat forward with his elbows propped on his knees and watched you tensely.

He didn’t relax until you set the baby back down, turning him toward Mando, and he toddled his way back across the floor. Mando took the kid with him into his bunk when he disappeared to eat.

***

From the ship, Sorgan looked inviting: lush greens and blues, the landscape broken up by winding rivers. Clouds swirled across the atmosphere. Mando touched the Razor Crest down in a clearing of a pristine forest.

Mando wasn’t about to leave you behind with the kid—or with the ship, for that matter—so he informed you that the two of you would set out to the nearest village to find lodging, and he would leave the child behind. You understood that he didn’t have a lot of options, but leaving a toddler alone on a ship seemed like a terrible idea. You decided not to question it for the moment.

It was abundantly clear that Mando was accustomed to running the show and operating alone. He was used to making unilateral decisions...and that was going to have to change if the two of you were ever going to get to a place of easy coexistence. As someone who was also used to making unilateral decisions, you didn’t take well to being told what to do without even being consulted. You figured you’d give him some time to adjust to your presence before bringing this to his attention. You reminded yourself that this was a temporary arrangement.

Before leaving, Mando gave the baby a very serious, very stern talking-to about not touching anything and staying put. This was another instance that made it clear that he hadn’t been in charge of this kid (or any kid) for very long. You tried your best to conceal your amusement while Mando lectured the child. When he started to wag his finger dramatically to punctuate his points, you coughed to cover a laugh that escaped your lips.

As you both gathered what you needed in the hull, you asked, “How effective are your lectures usually?”

He let out a tired sigh, shoulders dropping slightly: “Not very.”

You laughed.

Sure enough, the baby shuffled up behind the two of you as the ramp of the ship lowered.

Mando looked down and sighed heavily.

“Oh, what the hell? Come on.” He strode forward decisively without a backwards glance.

You bent down to scoop up the child, not sure how Mando expected this tiny creature to keep up with his long strides, and followed Mando into the verdant forest.

***

The village was made up of a collection of circular wooden structures with pointed roofs. You ducked after Mando into the public house, the largest building in the small cluster. Good-natured conversation and the smell of something delicious permeated the air. You set the baby down on the floor to walk beside you.

A lothcat curled underneath a table hissed loudly at him as he waddled by, and he cowered in fear. You scowled at Mando, who didn’t react besides tilting his helmet down, and picked the child back up, patting him lightly.

“It’s okay, buddy,” you murmured reassuringly. Mando paused to watch you comfort the kid. You waited for him to pull the baby from your arms or say something to discourage you, but he didn’t. When you looked up at him, he continued forward to find an empty table.

Mando scanned the room carefully as he strode between the tables. You noticed an intimidating woman surveying him as he passed. You seated yourselves, and a woman in an apron approached with a friendly smile on her face.

“Welcome, travelers. Can I interest you in anything?”

“Bone broth for the little one,” requested Mando. Then he turned to look at you.

“One for me too, please.”

“Very well,” replied the woman.

Jerking his head towards the intimidating woman, Mando asked, “That one, over there—when did she arrive?”

The woman hesitated, and then said, “Uh, I’ve seen her here for the last week or so.”

“What’s her business here?”

You studied the woman in question, noting her piecemeal armor and tattoos. She looked like a war-hardened soldier.

“Oh, well there’s not much business in Sorgan, so I can’t say,” the server responded noncommittally. “She doesn’t strike me as a log runner.”

Mando reached into his belt and threw some credits toward her on the table. She brightened.

“Well, thank you, sir. I will get those broths to you as soon as possible, and I will throw in a flagon of spotchka for good measure. I will be right back with that.”

The server left, and the unobstructed view revealed that the woman he’d been asking about had disappeared.

Mando stood quickly.

“Stay with the kid?” he asked, looking down at you.

You hummed your assent, but he watched you for a long moment, as if assessing whether or not this was a safe idea. He was weighing the risk of leaving the kid with you against the risk of not neutralizing the possible threat of this stranger.

“I’m not going anywhere. We agreed to stick together for the time being, remember? Relax,” you assured him. It wasn’t much of a commitment, but what else could you say?

He nodded decisively and turned on his heel.

You and the kid watched him leave. The baby made a small whimpering sound as Mando disappeared through the curtain that hung over the exit.

You considered the baby as you waited for your food. He looked around, curiously taking in his surroundings.

What species is he? You’d never encountered anyone like him. Despite the fact that he was clearly a toddler, he looked a bit like an old man. And a tortoise? And maybe a frog? Whatever he looked like, he was really damn cute. Those big eyes and huge, expressive ears were undeniably adorable. You’d never felt a maternal instinct in your life, but in that moment, you wanted to pick him up and snuggle him again. You resisted the urge.

The server returned with two steaming bowls of broth and a flagon of electric blue liquor. The child immediately reached out for the broth, letting out a string of gibberish.

“It’s too hot. Let’s let it cool.”

He narrowed his eyes at you and let out a disapproving huff.

Despite his protests, you waited until the broth cooled a bit before setting it in front of him. He picked up the bowl and slurped happily.

You didn’t start to worry about Mando until you’d finished your own broth and the drink—you’d figured Mando wasn’t about to drink spotchka—and he still hadn’t come back. You scooped up the kid, who was still holding his little wooden bowl of soup, and slipped out the exit to look for Mando.

The loud sounds of a brawl made it easy to locate him.

He was locked in an intense hand-to-hand fight with the woman. They were both on the ground, Mando on top of her briefly until she used her strong legs to launch him over her body onto his back. He landed with a thud.

Ouch.

You set the baby down on the ground, but neither Mando nor the woman noticed. The two of them seemed fairly equally matched. To be safe, though, you eased your blaster out of its holster and held it loosely by your side.

Before you’d decided whether or not to intervene, the fight ended in a stalemate, both of them flat on their backs, having drawn their blasters simultaneously.

They panted on the ground, until Mando lolled his head to the side and saw you and the kid watching them, the baby slurping his broth loudly.

“You want some soup?” Mando deadpanned, looking up at the woman. You let out a sharp laugh at the unexpected question.

The tension dissolved, and they both brought their blasters back down to their sides.

You sheathed your blaster and offered Mando a hand, and—to your surprise—he took it without hesitation.

“Thanks for jumping in to help,” Mando grunted as he got to his feet slowly and dropped your hand to dust himself off.

“Hey, I was ready to step in,” you held out your blaster pointedly. “I probably wouldn’t have let her kill you.”

The woman chuckled as she straightened up then turned to walk back to the public house.

“Good to know,” retorted Mando, fixing you with an exasperated head tilt.

***

The four of you sat down together and talked for a while, sipping broth. Mando introduced himself to the woman, ignoring you and the kid. His manners seemed to come and go.

The woman shared that her name was Cara Dune.

“And who is this?” Cara inquired, eyebrows raised, looking from you and the baby to Mando.

Interested to hear how he’d explain your presence, you waited to see what Mando would say before answering.

“Long story,” replied Mando. Yep, that seems about right.

You introduced yourself, offering a fake name and sticking out a hand to shake Cara’s hand.

Mando’s head snapped to you: “You didn’t tell me your name.”

“You never asked,” you shrugged.

If Cara was confused that Mando didn’t know your name, she didn’t say anything about it. She shared that she had been a shock trooper in the Alliance, but she was trying to make a new life for herself, away from all that.

When she inquired, you shared a carefully curated set of details about yourself: born on Naboo, studied on Coruscant, now a freelance programmer with a diverse set of clientele and therefore stayed off the grid as a rule, with Mando at the moment to get from one place to the next and find more work—Sorgan was a temporary stopover.

You figured Mando didn’t love the idea of being described as a glorified taxi service, but it was better than disclosing the truth.

Mando leaned forward slightly and fixed you with his unwavering gaze while you spoke but questioned nothing. You knew he likely recognized the gaping holes in your story, considering he’d witnessed firsthand how well you could hold your own in a fight.

He shared little about himself, aside from the fact that he was in the Guild but not currently in pursuit of a bounty. Cara explained that she’d thought Mando was hunting her and that was why she reacted so defensively.

Understandable. That’s a much more reasonable reaction to his attention than flirting with him from afar liked I’d done in Nevarro. Whoops.

Finally, Cara stood: “Well, this has been a real treat, but unless you want to go another round, Mando, either you or I are gonna have to move on, and I was here first.” She turned to you and added: “You, on the other hand, are welcome to stay.” She winked at you and sauntered away.

You let out a surprised laugh, and Mando swiveled his head from Cara to you so fast, he probably tweaked his neck.

You couldn’t decide if it was hilarious or frustrating (probably both) that Cara had warmed to you over the course of a twenty-minute conversation while Mando remained aloof after more than twenty-four hours together.

Mando shook his head like he was willing away an unwelcome thought and leaned an elbow on the table: “Well, looks like this planet is taken.”

“Technically, that only applies to you.”

“You want to stay here?” There was a hint of unease in his otherwise even voice.

“No, Mando. You’re stuck with me for now, remember?”

“Right.”

You leaned forward and placed both your palms on the table: “But before we leave, I would like it on the record that I watched the kid for a full ten minutes without running away or harming a single hair on his wrinkly head.” You reached over to rub one of the child’s ears briefly, and he cooed up at you. “And I am electing not to ditch you and stay here with Cara even though she seems much more fun than you.”

A sound that might have been a laugh crackled through the modulator.

“So maybe you don’t have to breathe down my neck every second when we’re on the Crest?”

“You did almost let Cara kill me.”

You leaned back and laughed. “So, you admit it—you needed help.”

“No—I...That’s not the point.” You enjoyed how easy it was to agitate Mando.

“You’re right, it’s not. The point is that if I’m going to stick around for a while, you’re going to have to give me the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, this doesn’t make sense.”

He hummed noncommittally and rested a hand on the tabletop, gloved fingers tapping out an erratic rhythm.

“I could have abducted the kid and stolen the Crest while Cara took her time kicking your ass, but I didn’t.”

“It sounds like you considered it.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Mando.”

You fixed him with an impatient stare, and he met your look with his impassive visor.

You huffed, and letting the levity fall away, so he knew you meant it, you asked, “Maybe it would just be easier for me to find some other way out of here?”

His fingers stilled. “No.”

“Okay... so, you’ll lighten up?”

In a well-timed interruption, the kid quirked his head at Mando and let out a string of nonsense that had the upward cadence of a question.

“He’s wondering the same thing.”

The child stretched his arms out toward Mando and wiggled his fingers. “He just wants to be picked up.” Mando scooped him up and tucked him under his arm. “But, point taken. Let’s get out of here,” he said, lifting his hand to flag down the server.

Mando seemed surprised when you reached into your bag and pulled out a small pouch of credits to pay for the food. In reality, it was one of three that you had on you at the moment.

You were a professional at disappearing. You always had a blaster at your back, a knife on your belt, another knife strapped to your ankle, and plenty of credits on your person. Plus, the roughly hewn necklace tucked under your shirt looked unassuming but was worth a small fortune—though, you’d have to be in a really tough spot to ever consider selling it. You were used to leaving places at a moment’s notice. Being prepared for anything was your default state.

Mando should understand that better than anyone.

***

When you returned to the Crest, Mando mumbled something about routine maintenance and disappeared outside with a heavy metal toolbox in hand. The kid was asleep in Mando’s bunk, and you were sitting in the hull, reading about potential planets on your datapad, when you heard strange voices approaching.

Setting down your datapad, you stood and walked down the slope of the ramp at the back of the ship quietly. You peeked your head around the side, staying out of sight, and watched two men speaking to Mando’s back as he continued working at an open panel on the side of the Crest.

The men didn’t look threatening, and Mando was clearly unconcerned. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

“Our whole village chipped in,” explained one of the men, a touch of desperation in his voice. The other man, who had longer hair, held up a pouch of credits.

Mando turned to face them. “It’s not enough,” he answered simply.

“Are you sure? You don’t even know what the job is?” the man with short, curly hair continued.

“I know it’s not enough. Good luck.”

Rude.

The men were insistent, pleading. Mando’s harsh rebuff surprised you. He seemed to flip flop between being decidedly cold and cautiously warm with strangers, and right now he was the former. You weren’t fooled though. With a little more prodding, you were sure they’d convince him—well, you hoped they’d convince him to take the job and stay.

“This is everything we have. We’ll give you more after the next harvest,” promised the second man.

The side door of the Crest hissed loudly as it opened, and the two men jumped back in surprise. They looked at each other, resigned, when Mando walked up the ramp, ignoring them.

“Come on, let’s head back.”

No, don’t give up yet. He’s secretly soft. He adopts stray babies, protects complete strangers, and offers soup to people who have just thrown him on his ass!

They turned to leave, mumbling sadly to each other. You hurried back up the ramp to meet Mando in the hull. You stopped, settling your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“I mean... we were looking for a reason to stay, and they just gave us one. We were looking for a place to stay middle of nowhere... they just happen to live in the middle of nowhere...”

“Cara—,” he started.

“She seems like a reasonable enough person.”

He let out a long, dramatic sigh then turned to lean out the open side of the ship. “Where do you live?” Mando called after the retreating men.

One of them called, “On a farm. Weren’t you listening? We’re farmers.”

“You have lodging?” Mando clarified.

“Yeah, absolutely!”

“Come up and help,” he said to the men.

The two men paused when they saw you.

“Hi,” you greeted, turning to pull on your boots and grab your bag.

“Hello,” they both replied tentatively.

“She comes too,” Mando stated, jerking his head in your direction, as he began to pack up a chest of weaponry.

“Sure, that’s fine,” one of the men responded.

“And we have to make a stop.”

***

You waited with the two men—they introduced themselves as Caben and Stoke—at their speeder while Mando took the kid and tracked down Cara. They shared that they were krill farmers and needed help because Klatooinian raiders had been terrorizing their settlement.

Mando located Cara quickly, and they met you at the speeder, the back of which was full of weapons. You scooted over to make space for them as the speeder stuttered to life. It was cramped and when everyone was seated, your side was pressed into Mando, the kid settled on his lap.

Mando and Cara talked quietly while you laid your head back to watch the stars. You looked down when you felt something gently press on your thigh. The kid had climbed off of Mando’s lap and was looking up expectantly at you, as if asking permission to crawl into your lap.

You smiled at him and looked up at Mando, posing a silent question.

He nodded once, and you pulled the kid onto your lap. The baby cooed happily, wiggled around to get comfortable, and closed his eyes. You rested your head back again and let the movement of the speeder lull you into a light sleep.

Before you were totally out, you felt Mando adjust beside you, leaning back and stretching an arm over your head. Instinctively, you lifted your head so he could settle his arm down behind you, and you relaxed back so your cheek rested on his cold shoulder.

In a sleepy haze, you decided to capitalize on this opening and let your hand rest on the beskar plate covering his thigh.

***

You woke up when the speeder stuttered to a stop and opened your eyes, rubbing them in the brightness of the morning. You sat up and Mando did the same beside you, moving his arm from where it had been supporting your back. He hadn’t moved all night.

The scene before you was nothing if not idyllic: green and peaceful. Wind whispered through the tall grasses that lined the village, forming a natural buffer between the settlement and the forest. Circular wooden structures, the same pointed shape as the public house, were clustered at the middle of the clearing. Villagers, catching flopping blue krill in flat baskets, waded through square ponds that encircled the small community. Children giggled and called out, running toward the speeder.

“Well, looks like they’re happy to see us,” observed Mando.

“Looks like,” agreed Cara.

The children flocked toward you to see the baby in your arms, and you hopped down to greet them.

***

You spent the morning meeting people, learning the layout of the tiny village. The children took to the kid immediately, following you wherever you carried him. Apparently, Mando had accepted the fact that the child was safe with you because he didn’t object.

The gaggle of children showed you around excitedly, even demonstrating how to expertly sift krill from the ponds. They brought you to the long hall where food—stew and spotchka—was served. You sat on the ground outside, eating and enjoying the sun, with the children and the kid. They watched in enthusiastic disgust as the child caught and ate a live frog.

That afternoon, you and Mando followed the woman who introduced herself as Omera to your lodging. Though there did not seem to be an official leader of the small community, Omera clearly garnered respect. You watched as she gave easy instruction to those around her, and they complied reflexively.

She led you to one of the wooden buildings on the edges of the settlement. You noticed the way Mando stopped in the doorway to admire Omera as she raised a window covering and the afternoon light illuminated her beautiful face.

“Please, come in,” Omera invited warmly.

You set the baby on the ground, and he waddled a few steps before plopping down to lean against a crate, his eyelids heavy after a full morning of play.

“I hope this is comfortable for the three of you,” Omera continued. “Sorry that all we have is the barn. There is a spare crib for the child.” She gestured at a well-made looking crib. You wondered when the last time the child had slept in a proper bed was.

You picked him up from where he sat dozing on the floor and settled him into the crib.

You looked around the open space of the barn. It was clearly used for storage: it was lined with baskets, furniture, crates, fishing equipment, and more, but a large space in the center of the room was clear. You hadn’t considered until this moment that you might be sharing one room with Mando. Neither of you would be comfortable in these close quarters.

“Oh, we’re not—,” you started.

“This will do fine,” confirmed Mando, cutting you off mid-sentence. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, surprised that he seemed okay with this sleeping arrangement.

“I stacked some blankets over here,” Omera pointed to a stack of quilts in the corner.

“Thank you. That’s very kind,” replied Mando as he turned to unstrap his rifle from his back.

A little girl crept up to the open doorway, looking down at her feet with her hands clasped behind her back. You recognized her from the gaggle of children. She was one of the quieter, shyer kids.

Mando, who was facing the back of the room, whipped around defensively at her movement. His hand hovered threateningly over his blaster.

The little girl gasped and jumped back, disappearing from view. Omera turned to follow her out the door.

You stepped toward Mando and put a steadying hand on his elbow in the space between his armor, drawing his arm away from his weapon. He looked down at where your hand gripped his arm.

“Are you okay?” you asked, under your breath.

He gave you a curt nod and exhaled loudly through the modulator.

You dropped your hand to your side when Omera returned, the little girl hugged tightly to her.

“This is my daughter, Winta,” she explained in her dulcet voice. “We don’t get a lot of visitors around here. She’s not used to strangers.”

Neither is Mando.

Mando stood awkwardly and said nothing.

“It’s nice to meet you, Winta,” you greeted gently. She smiled timidly against her mother’s stomach.

“These people are going to help protect us from the bad ones,” Omera said.

“Thank you,” replied Winta quietly.

“Come on, Winta. Let’s give our guests some room.” Omera took Winta’s hand and lead her away.

As soon as the two of you and the baby were alone, you turned to Mando. “How are we both going to sleep in here? You can’t sleep in your helmet.”

Mando stood frozen, staring at the doorway. He seemed not to have registered that you said anything.

“Mando?”

He turned to you. “I—uh, it’s fine. I didn’t want to inconvenience them any more.”

“But how is this going to work?”

“I can sleep in my helmet.”

“No way, that’s ridiculous. I’ll ask if I can stay with Cara.” You took a step toward the door.

He looked down at the floor. “I’d rather you stay here.”

“Ah...okay. I thought we were past the stage where you felt the need to babysit me,” you joked, hoping that wasn’t the reason for this.

“No. That’s not...” he started to explain but trailed off.

He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, and, despite the prickle of irritation you felt at the confirmation of his mistrust, you felt compelled to fill the uneasy silence that followed.

Avoiding his gaze, you looked over to where the kid was snoozing in the crib. “It’s fine. I’m going to go out for a bit if you want to take it off now. I’ll let you know before I come back in.”

“Thank you.”

You dropped your bag onto a crate and slipped out of the room and into the soft sunlight that shone through the sparse clouds.

Unwittingly, Mando seemed to know how to give you just enough reassurance to keep you around and just enough doubt to keep you guessing about why you were here with him. He was holding you at arm’s length, but not letting you go.

The potential between you was as enticing as it was confusing.

The more time you spent with Mando, the more of a paradox he seemed to be. He was constantly torn between a need to be hard and his instinct to be soft. You had an inkling that at heart, he was soft through and through. How else could you explain the presence of the baby?

His literal and metaphorical armor were clearly worn out of necessity—for several reasons, you guessed: to be successful in a brutal profession, probably as a result of past trauma, and simply because life is just fucking hard. You barely knew him, but you couldn’t help but want to be someone with whom he felt comfortable letting his guard down.

You pushed these thoughts from your mind as you stepped into the dappled light that filtered through the canopy of the forest. You were happy to explore the woods on your own, enjoying the serene atmosphere and natural beauty. It had been a while since you’d been on such a lovely planet. It reminded you of home.

***

When you returned a few hours later, all the villagers were gathering around the barn where Mando and Cara stood on the porch. You walked up to join the crowd and Mando’s visor followed your movement. You smiled at him, and he looked away abruptly, turning to Cara. They exchanged a few words then Mando stepped forward to address everyone.

“Bad news. You can’t live here anymore,” Mando announced. He declared this in an infuriatingly neutral, straightforward way, the same way you’d tell someone there was going to be rain.

They must have seen the same tracks in the forest that I saw.

The villagers broke out in surprised chatter: “What?” “Why?”

Cara and Mando muttered to each other. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you hoped Cara was explaining how callous he’d sounded.

Cara started forward, “I know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but there are no other options.”

Despite her slightly better manner, the villagers broke out in angry protests again.

“You took the job!” Caben cried.

“That was before we knew about the AT-ST!” exclaimed Cara.

Your stomach dropped. You had hoped you were somehow wrong about what those tracks belonged to. It would take serious preparation to successfully take on a band of raiders and an Imperial walker.

“What is that?” asked Caben.

“The armored walker with two enormous guns that you knew about and didn’t mention,” said Cara indignantly.

That is a pretty important piece of information they had chosen to leave out.

More protests erupted. The villagers shouted pleas over one another. Mando was surveying the desperate villagers, saying nothing. You had a feeling that despite his initial refusal and these adverse circumstances, he would elect to help them anyways. Eventually one of the many heartfelt appeals was likely to sway him—listening to their pleading voices, you knew you would find it hard to refuse them.

Omera’s plaintive voice broke over the crowd, and you suspected she’d be the one to convince him.

“We have nowhere to go,” she entreated.

Mando met your gaze, where you stood silently at the back of the crowd. He cocked his head, and you knew what he was asking. You gave him an understanding smile, nodding your agreement. He bowed his head slightly in response.

You turned and walked away, not needing to hear the rest of the conversation to know that Mando had already decided to stay.

***

Chapter 4

#Tempered Glass #my writing #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin reader insert #the mandalorian reader insert #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian x female reader #din djarin x f!reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

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Wei Wuxian never had the patience for embroidery, and Jiang Yanli was passable, but preferred cooking. Jiang Cheng found it comforting, stabbing something over and over again, with a better result than breaking training dummies.

It started with Jiang Cheng being a sticky child, refusing to leave his jie’s side even when she sat for her embroidery lessons; with him being noisy and troublesome and the teacher just shoving the needle and thread into his hands with a muttered comment about it being good for men to know how to repair their own clothing – as if a future sect leader would ever need to know something like that.

Jiang Cheng quieted down and focused, all hard work and determination to please the way he went about all aspects of his life – he wasn’t a natural talent, in cultivation or swordmanship or even this, but he always tried his best.

His mother covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter when he presented her with the results of several weeks’ worth: it was just barely recognizable as the world’s ugliest duck.

“A symbol of loving devotion,” one of her maids said.

“There’s only one, though,” the other maid said. “They’re supposed to be a pair.”

“He’s still young,” Madame Yu said, and then held up a fabric with a vaguely incoherent green-white-pink blob. “And anyway, it’s still better than this – what is this supposed to be again, A-Li?”

“A lotus flower,” Jiang Yanli replied, utterly untroubled by her mother’s criticism.

Madame Yu and her maids studied the fabric for a little while longer, trying to identify a flower inside the knot of threads, helpless expressions on their face.

“A-Cheng is a duck without a partner and A-Li is unrestrained by commonly understood boundaries,” Madame Yu finally said, pinching her nose. “With signs as inauspicious as this…well, at least you still have your father to hold up the world for you.”

“Men care more about cooking skills anyway,” one of her maids said. “And A-Cheng is an heir to a sect: he’ll find himself a lady duck one day. Maybe even a whole set of them.”

“He’d better not find a whole set of them!”

There was a small needle on the floor of the hut where the Wen sect had stuffed him away – too small and thin to attack anyone, even if a useless waste with no golden core could muster an attack at all, and so it had been overlooked.

Jiang Cheng held it over the flame of the lamp to sterilize it, and then, with shaking hands, turned it on his own flesh.

He didn’t have a choice – it was that or die bleeding out onto the floor of some closet in the Lotus Pier he’d never even known existed, some of the cuts left by the Wens too deep to be left alone even for a little while, and he didn’t have spiritual energy to encourage the healing process.

Maybe he should just die. What was the point of living? He was a waste, now. Maybe the deep cuts were even meant to be a kindness – a way out of the misery that awaited him, a life of being Wen Chao’s slave, an object of pity and mockery.

Jiang Cheng’s hands might be shaking, but his embroidery was good: he’d kept it up, citing it as good training for precision, a way to improve his dexterity, but in fact it was the only thing that could make his mother smile at him anymore. Sure, she yelled about him wasting time with feminine pursuits when he ought to be cultivating, training, getting stronger, surpassing Wei Wuxian, but when she looked at the little things he made for her, she still smiled, almost as if she couldn’t help herself.

She wouldn’t smile for him any longer. Neither smile nor scolding.

Jiang Cheng would live to see Wei Wuxian take the revenge their parents deserved. He could wait until that was done to die.

A regular needle could prick the finger of a cultivator a thousand times before drawing a single drop of blood.

Jiang Cheng’s fingers were covered in bandages, but the new disciples of his Jiang sect had robes embroidered with lotuses, the way they should have, and they need not be ashamed to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the other sects in battle.

It wasn’t a job a sect leader should ever do, but there was no one else to do it; any money had to be spent on supplies, none left over for paying seamstresses to do something impractical, and the few women who joined up expected to be used for their skill at the sword, not the needle.

It was just another thing he had to do with no time to do it – he had to train himself in preparation for battle, teach the new disciples the Jiang sect techniques, make sure they had enough to eat and drink, keep one step ahead of the Wen sect’s forces that sought to destroy them, recruit new sects to join their cause and all of it while searching desperately for Wei Wuxian, who had gone missing.

(Sometimes, in his nightmares, Jiang Cheng wondered if Baoshan Sanren had seen through their mischief, recognized him as someone other than her disciple’s son, and demanded a price be paid for the gift she had given him.)

At least embroidery was something he could do at night when he couldn’t sleep, something productive that wouldn’t disturb the sentries or make anyone worry about him.

Sometimes, Lan Wangji – who had joined him in searching for Wei Wuxian – would come and sit next to him at the early hours of the night, undoubtedly fleeing nightmares of his own. His meditation didn’t bother Jiang Cheng, and as much as he hated to admit it, the company was welcome.

That didn’t stop him from embroidering a small awkward stork on the inside of Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon the one time the other man had asked him for help fixing it after it’d been cut in battle.

“I know Madame Jin probably already got you something better,” Jiang Cheng said, his fingers twisting together – in fact, he hadn’t thought of it at all, not until he reached Lanling and heard the women on the street speculating as to which skilled seamstress had been retained to embroider all the auspicious signs onto the wedding clothing of the Jin sect’s new daughter-in-law.

It hadn’t even occurred to him that they would just buy a set pre-made – wedding clothing was traditionally embroidered by the bride herself, preparations made over the years, and of course the set Jiang Yanli had (with no real motivation or ambition) been working on had gone up in flames along with the Lotus Pier. When she’d come to let him know about Jin Zixuan’s impending proposal, and that she intended to accept, Jiang Cheng had panicked and ordered the silks and thread himself; his sister was passable at embroidery at the best of times, much worse when under pressure or a deadline, and he didn’t want the Jin sect to laugh at her.

He should have realized. What didn’t the Jin sect solve with money?

“As if I would wear anything other than what A-Cheng made for me,” Jiang Yanli said, voice warm as she ran her hands over the red silk he’d brought with him, the golden threads glinting. “It’s beautiful. Your ducks have gotten much better since your first attempt, all those years ago.”

Jiang Cheng covered his face with embarrassment. His mother had kept that stupid hideous duck for years, often just sitting in her pocket alongside regular necessities so that she could pull it out to embarrass him whenever she pleased; it had probably only died when she had.

“I left some undone for you to finish,” he said through his fingers. “I brought the thread…if you want?”

“Of course. A-Cheng will sit by me and make sure I don’t make any mistakes.”

The last pair of ducks ended up crooked, their heads too close together, their beaks at such an odd angle that it almost looked like a smile; they were Jiang Cheng��s favorite ones of all.

“For you,” Jiang Cheng said, shoving the box into Wei Wuxian’s arms and ignoring the look of confusion. “For when Hanguang-jun finally decides to live up to his responsibilities.”

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “Why are you even at the Cloud Recesses?”

Jiang Cheng sneered because it was easier than doing anything else. It was the first time he’d seen Wei Wuxian since the events at the Guanyin temple: Wei Wuxian hadn’t come back to the Lotus Pier, not once, even though Jin Ling had tried several times to invite him.

“Am I not allowed, now?” he demanded irritably. “I’m a sect leader; I have a visitor’s token, same as anyone else. Anyway, I have other business to attend to – just take it and be done with it. Don’t make a fuss.”

It was a mistake to say that – as soon as Wei Wuxian realized there was the possibility of a fuss, he couldn’t wait to confront it at once, and disregarded all rules of etiquette to pull open the box right there as they stood, before even Jiang Cheng left.

“Red…?” Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide. “Jiang Cheng, you got me wedding clothing.”

“Reused ones,” Jiang Cheng said before Wei Wuxian could get too emotional or anything. “The only adjustments were to the size and shape – don’t think too highly of yourself!”

“Sect Leader Jiang is too humble,” Lan Wangji said from the door. “It must have been a great effort to make clothing for a man from the ones your sister wore.”

“Sister…? You – this is what shijie married in?”

Jiang Cheng glared at the immovable Lan Wangji rather than look at Wei Wuxian. “Her marriage was happy,” he said stiffly. “Yes, it was cut short –”

Best not to say by whom.

“– but it was still happy. It’s not meant to be a bad omen or a curse…I thought you’d like it. Not that I expected you’d remember what it looked like, with your memory.”

“Of course I like it!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, hugging the red fabric to his chest. “You made it for shijie, and she finished it, right?”

“I had to add some more fabric to make up for the size difference,” Jiang Cheng said, still refusing to look at him directly. At least Lan Wangji had the good grace to be easy to glare at, that pig who dug up his family’s (lost, dead, resurrected) cabbage. “There are a few more that still need finishing. That way, it’ll have something from all of us – don’t you dare cry at me!”

“I’m not crying! My eyes are watering from laughter at how sentimental you are, that’s all!”

“It is good that we will both have signs of Sect Leader Jiang’s approval with us,” Lan Wangji said mildly.

Wei Wuxian turned to him at once. “Both? What do you have?”

Jiang Cheng was equally confused, and only when Lan Wangji reached up to his forehead ribbon did he remember his fit of pettiness in horror. “Wait, no, don’t – it can’t still be there –”

It was.

Wei Wuxian’s cackles followed him as he fled.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #lan wangji #wangxian #my fic #my fics #I really like how this one came out actually #Anonymous

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intheshadowofsignificance · 3 years

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Season four is such a train wreck in so many ways. I understand the recurring theme that basically everyone lacks boundaries, but there are times the forceful disregard for them doesn’t have a point.

Just because June is the MC doesn’t mean she’s a sympathetic character. That’s one thing I appreciate them boldly addressing. Her tunnel vision is affecting more than just her and Moira is right that living in anger is clouding her judgment. June should be hellbent on justice. She should be angry. I just wish some part of her would be angry and reflective at the same time. She’s not immune from facing scrutiny for the suffering she caused just because she’s a victim and I hope we see her grapple with that. She’s been traumatized and broken. She admitted to wanting to make people hurt the way she hurt. “An eye for an eye is bad” the narrative screams. “We know,” I want to scream back.

June doesn’t have the right to force her coping mechanisms on other people. She has raped Luke. Used Luke. Blatantly disregarded Emily’s feelings and consent, whether or not it happened to “enlighten” her by the end. Emily was allowed to be privately angry and her private anger was valid without June dragging it out in public.

Gilead didn’t just screw with sex, it screwed with her views of consent across the board. I really want some kind of closure on this even if it’s not for the good. Show June facing this even if she stays a fucked up mess after. Don’t keep throwing these bold concepts in our face and not letting the characters do anything useful with them.

Luke’s character is frustrating, but realistically there’s not a whole lot to expect. Someone who hasn’t been through Gilead trying to understand what it was like is always going to fall short. He’s trying to connect the only way he knows how, and idealizing to get by. Just like June getting to Canada was one step forward, two back, so is Luke trying to navigate their relationship now. Ultimately if things fall apart between them it’s not because he’s a bad person who didn’t do enough. He wasn’t equipped for this. No one is. He’s still trying to cope with losing Hannah and the June he knew, and on top of that is caught in the crossfire of June’s trauma. The man is allowed to grieve his losses. He should confront June for making him a sex object, both for himself and to make her recognize and own it. That said, any mention of moving on was wrong at this stage. Not even remotely possible.

Also, Lydia holding Janine and crying? Why? That was ill-timed and poorly executed. We have always known about her soft spot for Janine, it doesn’t make her a good person but a more complex and layered villain. And as much as I absolutely love that, and love the show for letting villains be villains even if they’re not pure, unadulterated evil every waking second (though with Lydia it’s close) we should not have been focusing on /Lydia’s/ emotions while Janine is begging for the remnants of her life.

Yikes.jpg

Fred needs to go down brutally and publicly for what he’s done. Seeing him and Serena in a battle of manipulation continues to turn my stomach. When he stood in that courtroom and spewed his zealotry and nonsense I kept waiting for someone to shut him up. Please. He would’ve been charged with contempt so fast. Trial or not.

“Did you believe all that you said just now?”

“Of course I did.”

He believes it when it’s convenient and gets him what he wants. Religion is a crutch and a pedestal for him. It has been the same for Serena especially in this season. Even if her part in Gilead came from a brainwashed evangelical upbringing, she had plenty of clarity when she tortured June. She believed it was all divine until she was the one suffering. Then God’s sacrifice couldn’t be “her” baby. He couldn’t want “her” Nicole. And submit to one’s husband? Yeah, no, he’s just a sperm donor in Canada. Until she needs him. My goodness, these people and their thinly veiled “godliness.” June called that part so aptly.

I want to see them both face humane justice. As much as Serena being a handmaid would be cathartic, I’m not gonna advocate for it. Having the world know her for what she is, charging her with war crimes / convicting her in Canada, and putting her son in a loving foster home away from her is enough for me. Also maybe having her and Fred in (separate) mandated group meetings with Gilead’s victims as “therapy.” Because they deserve to feel powerless and understand the gravity of the world they helped build.

Of course I couldn’t stand seeing anyone praise the Waterfords, especially Fred, but my god the glimpse it gave of Serena in that moment was worth it. Despite her seeming to have some flash of understanding for June in the courtroom later, in that moment, under that recognition, she held her head so high. Like she was powerful. Like it was the first time in so long she felt worth something.

Holding the hand of a man who doesn’t even use her name anymore, but rather calls her by the extension of himself — Mrs. Waterford — listening to Fred feed the world so many lines of absolute bullshit, knowing he doesn’t believe a word, let alone practice a word.

She caused so much pain just to have something, and I hope all she gets are those small, meaningless moments of praise as her life circles the drain.

But ultimately the men of Gilead did this and they should face the worst of the consequences for it. I think when the defense started questioning June in the court room was when Serena realized, even in Canada, that would never happen. I’m sad the baby is clearly just a tool for Fred to use to manipulate Serena and the world around him, even losing access to their son won’t really hurt him. And Canada’s cushy joke of a prison sentence doesn’t seem to be doing much either. That’s what’s really pissing me off the most, Fred is still having the time of his life.

#the handmaids tale #the handmaid’s tale season 4 #june osborne #serena joy #serena waterford #fred waterford

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floralkittygambler · 3 years

Text

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel��s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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arizona-trash-bag · 3 years

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I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year. All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #danmei #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 4 years

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I hate to be an asshole, but I see this a lot and I'd like your take because while we have differing opinions on some things, your metas are spot on (and I binged half your stories last weekend, oops) and I know you'll be straight up with me on this. What "chemistry" between Zuko and Katara? I keep seeing that and not getting it? The chemistry when he roughed up her grandmother and threatened her village? The chemistry when he tied her to a tree and violated her boundaries? (1/3)

The chemistry when he hired a trained assassin to stalk her good friend and if collateral damage happened, oopsie? The chemistry when he stabbed her in the back after she was nice to him in the crystal catacombs? The chemistry when he demanded that she accept him? Or the chemistry when he showed he didn’t know her at all? The chemistry when both of them were grossed out being thought a couple? Or is it the chemistry when he saved her and Katara couldn’t wait to kiss another guy? (2/3)

I dislike r/eylo from Star Wars fandom. I think it sends the wrong message. But as much as I hate it, there was chemistry there from the first. Rey is attracted to him and Kylo is attracted to her. They don’t want to be, but they are and it plays out in the next two movies. There was none of that in ATLA and I can understand z/ks saying it but other people? What am I missing? Where am I not looking? I’m not even that huge on Katara/Aang but Zuko/Katara chemistry where? (3/3)

Obligatory disclaimer: this is my personal response to anon’s questions and my personal thoughts on Zvtara’s chemistry. I’m not going to put this into the main tags - much less the Zvtara tag! - because while I believe this is a genuine question, I don’t doubt there’s at least one person out there who will misconstrue it as “hate” because the A:TLA fandom is, uh, aggressive in its ship wars lol. However, if I have any Zvtara shippers following me, I encourage you to reblog this post with your own thoughts! Please refrain from sending your commentary on anon unless you’re going to be friendly about it, lol; I like to keep my blog positive and welcoming! Thank you :)

Firstly, I am EXTREMELY flattered that you enjoy my metas so much and binged half my fics!! I was grinning so gleefully as I read that part of your asks,, y’all are too sweet to me. 💛

Okay. Moving on.

So, the main question here seems to be this: What chemistry exists between Zuko and Katara in A:TLA?

Short answer? None, in my opinion.

Longer answer? For all the reasons you outline in your asks, I do not perceive any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. Note the qualifiers: “romantic” and “within the series run.” I’ll try to break down what I mean!

“no romantic chemistry”

For one, a romantic interest with anyone in the Gaang would have undermined Zuko’s entire redemption arc, full stop. Yes, I mean anyone. For Zuko to have joined the Gaang because of romantic interest* would have been… counterproductive. Zuko joined the Gaang because he realized - to put it very simply - that the Fire Nation was wrong. He realized how he’d been indoctrinated since birth. He realized that he could help the Avatar (instead of trying to, uh, kill him lmao) by teaching him firebending. He realized he could help Aang defeat the Fire Lord and bring peace to the four nations. Zuko realized he could help end the war. He could help break the cycles of violence and abuse that had in part made his own life so miserable. For him to join the Gaang because of romantic interest? Completely takes away from all of that. A key theme of A:TLA is dismantling imperialist power, propaganda, rhetoric, etc. Zuko’s decision to fight against Fire Nation imperialism is crucial to his redemption. He could not have been redeemed without making that choice. Thus, if Zuko had joined the Gaang because of romantic interest, it would have been completely counteractive to his redemption.

(*That is, the relatively popular [? I think?] implication that Zuko and Katara’s moment in “The Crossroads of Destiny” was romantic-coded and thus Zuko should have joined the Gaang at the end of Book 2 because he had romantic interest in Katara and she in him. I genuinely am clueless how people interpret that moment as romantic - like to me it’s honestly heartbreaking! Katara offers Zuko tentative sympathy only for him to stab her in the back minutes later - so if someone would like to share some thoughts, please feel free to do so!!)

On a similar note, for Zuko to take the lightning for Katara at the end of the series because of romantic interest would also undermine his redemption arc. Please note: this does not mean Zvtara shippers cannot interpret the Agni Kai as being romantic-coded. Of course they can! That’s what fanon is for! Transformative works! But in terms of canon, Zuko did not try (and fail, rip) to redirect Azula’s lightning because he was romantically interested in Katara. (I mean, in terms of canon, Zuko and Katara were both romantically interested in other people, too, so… Moot point, lol? But I digress.)

Zuko taking the lightning is about him learning to earn forgiveness and accept unconditional love from his family (both Iroh and the Gaang). It is a selfless act, and it directly parallels Zuko’s selfish act in “The Crossroads of Destiny” to stand silently while Azula strikes Aang with lightning, thus becoming complicit in Aang’s death. The point of his “sacrifice” is that Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone (and don’t get me wrong - the moment is doubly powerful with Katara, as she’s a primary protagonist!). Zuko did not attempt but fail to redirect the lightning because it was Katara he was protecting; he took it because it was the right thing to do. Zuko has learned to differentiate between “right and wrong” on his own. To at last put others before himself. To make his decision about romantic interest? To make Zuko’s most selfless act in the series (not to mention one of his only 100% selfless acts!) about out-of-the-blue “romantic love”? That not only lessens the impact of his decision, but it is also reductive to Zuko’s entire character and arc. There’s no romantic chemistry there.

Again, of course, fanon exists for purposes such as interpreting Zuko’s failed misdirection of the lightning to protect Katara as romantic. Go wild!! I’m talking strictly about canon.

So that pretty much summarizes why romantic interest with anyone in the Gaang would have been detrimental to Zuko’s redemption, hence why Zuko doesn’t have any canon romantic chemistry in the Gaang. It just ain’t there! It would have screwed over his arc! And again, because of all the reasons you outline, I cannot comfortably interpret any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. Personally, romantic Zvtara would have been too sudden, too unexpected, and too… well, as I said: uncomfortable. Why would Katara have romantic interest in a guy who’d hurt her so many times? Who she’d only just forgiven? Why would Zuko have romantic interest in Katara, a girl he barely knew for most of the series? Especially when he already had feelings for a childhood friend? I, personally, just don’t get it.

But. You know what Zuko and Katara do have in canon?

A phenomenal platonic bond.

It develops very late, admittedly; Katara has only forgiven Zuko for the last five episodes of the series (5 out of 61… Katara was only on good terms with Zuko for 8% of the series, lmao). But Zuko and Katara are very, very similar personality-wise, so it follows that (eventually) they’d be great friends! Yeah, Zuko acts like an entitled dick for a good portion of “The Southern Raiders” lmao, but he ultimately respects Katara’s decision to spare Yon Rha (love that scene so much 🤧). Katara recognizes that Zuko is trying his best (if sometimes falling short) to redeem himself and earn the Gaang’s trust, and she also understands how - while she is completely justified in her anger! - holding that hatred close to her chest isn’t good for her. So she offers him a third chance (and honestly, Zuko should be forever grateful for that lmao!).

So what can a strong platonic bond lead to? Well, if it’s in your taste, a romantic relationship!

“within the series run”

As aforementioned, I don’t see any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. I think Zuko has hurt Katara in too many ways - and again, she has only just forgiven him by the end of the show - for there to realistically have been any blossoming romance between them. I think romantic interest for anyone in the Gaang would undermine Zuko’s redemption. I also think M@iko and K@taang are well-implemented romances into A:TLA, so romantic Zvtara would not have fit into the narrative. (Doesn’t mean someone has to ship them!! I just mean they made logical sense and had narrative purpose within canon. That’s all.) But again, Zuko and Katara have a great platonic bond. So while I don’t see romance within the series run, I can understand why people might be attracted to Zvtara in post-canon!

Post-A:TLA (disregarding LOK, which I haven’t even seen lol) Zvtara has some solid potential. I’m personally intrigued by the idea of how they’d navigate their relationship amidst all the politics! Basically, any relationship with a strong platonic bond can have potential for “more.” That’s why people ship T@ang, that’s why people ship Zvkaang, Zvkka, M@ilee, etc. So while Zvtara may not have romantic chemistry within the show - in my opinion! - they’ve got one of my favorite platonic bonds, so I can totally get people wanting to explore that bond in post-A:TLA and possibly translating it to romance.

So for some people, then, it might be less about “chemistry” in A:TLA itself, but more how their relationship could grow and change after the end of the series!

Quick sidebar: I mentioned that while I do not interpret the final Agni Kai as romantic, I’m fine when other people do. It’s fanon! Ain’t no big thing! But also, Katara has forgiven Zuko by that point. I, personally, am not comfortable with reading any of Zuko and Katara’s TSR-and-earlier interactions as romantic because of the imbalanced power dynamic. Example: I don’t think Zuko tying Katara to a tree and manipulating her with her mother’s necklace was romantic, and I don’t like the resulting implications when people do treat it as such. Zuko was still so indoctrinated by Fire Nation propaganda… Yeah, from Book 1 to about halfway through Book 3, I personally don’t feel comfortable shipping Zuko with anyone outside of the Fire Nation. Pre-redemption Zuko was not the most fun person to be around if you were non-Fire Nation.

But as I’ve said, these are all just my opinions! Again, if I have any Zvtara shippers following me, please feel free to reblog with your own thoughts! I would love to know where the idea comes from that Zvtara had chemistry within A:TLA, since I personally don’t see any romantic vibes (though platonic chemistry, of course, abounds.)

(For the record, I don’t know anything about Star Wars, which is why I haven’t brought up R.eylo, lol.)

TL;DR - To me, there isn’t any canon romantic chemistry for Zvtara. Narratively, I think it would undermine Zuko’s arc. Logically, because of how Zuko treated Katara for 92% of the series, I personally cannot interpret any of their interactions as romantic. But their platonic bond? Beautiful!! Thus, if people want to explore post-A:TLA, fanon Zvtara, I am all for it.

#hope this at least partially answers your question anon!#anon #amy answers #amy analyzes

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houndin-around · 4 years

Text

Cozenage | Maul’s Padawan pt.2

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, master/padawan relationship(she’s of age), smut, some angst

Wc: 4,496

Author notes; so it seems the first part I did was really well liked so he’s part II! I’m glad you guys liked the first one and I hope like this one too! This is my first ever smut writing..so uh please be gentle 🥺 I was really considering not doing this but here it is!!

“I just don’t understand why we haven’t found her yet!” the voice echoed throughout the council meeting, frustration visible.

“We’ve used all the resources we have at the moment, to find (y/n) Feles. Remember Coruscant is a very large city. The security forces can only do so much. We know two gangsters approached her, perhaps other members of the group took her. The two won’t give up any more information.” Mace Windu informed, his tone lacking any sort of sympathy.

“They must be hiding something. What if the separatists got a hold of her?”

The Jedi council took a deep breath, connecting with the force to figure out where in the galaxy you could be. As the days drag on, your old master is filled with vexation. There was more going on though then he let on, something far more suspicious than the others could read. He needed you, he needed your power even though it hasn’t reached it’s full potential yet. However, he knew you’d soon have the proper training that would be satisfactory enough.

“Clouded by the dark side, her future is. Something hiding her, no something protecting her. A dangerous force, I feel.” worry presented itself in Master Yoda’s voice. His body soon becoming rigid at the thought of you possibly choosing the path on your own accord.

After the confirmation that darkness has surrounded you, the meeting was adjourned but some masters remained behind. Some understood the complex relationship you had with your master, and his feelings toward you so to them they couldn’t calculate as to why Feles was acting the way he was.

“It just doesn’t add up. Even Ahsoka has shared some privileged information regarding the treatment (y/n) has received. I think Master Feles has some secrets of his own. An apprentice could be in severe danger, we have to do something! We can’t just sit around and wait for more information to be given up!”

Heads turned to the brash Jedi knight who was now on his feet filled with emotions. Of course, Obi-wan Kenobi was used to these types of behaviors from his previous padawan so the effect was little to none at this point. Quite frankly, Obi-wan agreed with Anakin for something did feel out of place.

“And what do you expect to be done, young Skywalker? Compel Feles to give up information he doesn’t even have? How do you expect that to look on the council’s part?” Windu’s glare could cut right through any other Jedi, yet for Skywalker it did absolutely nothing.

“As shocking as it may be, I agree with Anakin. It’s out of character for Feles to even show such emotion for another being, let alone an apprentice he’s never gotten along with. It couldn’t hurt to investigate a little more without him knowing?” Obi-wan’s voice was soft, though his point was persuasive as he gained some nods from his fellow Jedi.

--------------

“Fix your posture. Tighten up your right arm too. You’re all over the place today. Is something bothering you?” Maul inquired, soft eyes roaming your body.

“I’m sorry...I just can’t get it right. I’m failing you..” your voice was barely audible, shame running hot in your cheeks.

Shaking his head, the zabrak mosied over to you with narrowed eyes. “That is far from the truth and you know it (y/n)” his tone earnest, though deeper than normal. “The only way to vanquish the seventh form is by silencing your mind. Your apprehension, inner turmoil, is what’s stopping you. Feel the force flow through your body, let it guide you.” his tone was gentle, coaxing you to continue trying.

Standing adjacent to you, Maul activated his double-bladed saber and began moving through the positions of form seven. The fluidity was breathtaking, his saber cutting the air erratically yet he managed to remain in full control. As he demonstrated the form for you, his breathing became heavy and sweat glazed over his forehead. He managed to show no indication of fatigue, finishing off with one last throw in the air and a force push. Watching him sent a fiery sensation throughout your body and resting in your core, causing you to bite your lower lip. The sweat began dripping down his neck only intensifying the ache within. He was your master and nothing more, however, your body reacted otherwise anytime you looked at him the desire growing each moment.

“You make it look easy” you pouted, clipping your lightsaber to your belt followed by crossing your arms across your chest.

“Because I trust in the force and have a tranquil mind my apprentice.” his brow cocked as he noticed the heat settling in your cheeks. “Let me help you.”

Sheathing his saber, Maul shifted closer to you placing his hilt in your hands. Feeling the uncertainty bubbling within you, he placed his hands over yours guiding you through the movements breath hot on your neck. There were quite a few times your Master had touched you but this was unconventional, it had a different meaning behind it, so much so butterflies whirled in the pit of your stomach encouraging you to act on impulse. Pretending to adjust your stance, you play off accidentally backing into the crimson zabrak a little more, earning a faint groan. Making contact with him, his hands instantly grasp your hips, causing your core to burn in arousal. The tension was building between you both, so full of desire, except none of you made the next move. Without hesitation, Maul spun you around to face him, the space between you growing smaller. His amber eyes searched yours, slowly moving in closer pressing his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. It was as if he was holding back, resisting the urge of something you couldn’t read.

Opening his eyes and licking his lips Maul began to speak, “I...I think it’s time we finish up here. This form takes a lot of energy out of you and it is imperative you rest.” just as he finishes you catch him glancing over your body once more.

You gave a small nod before he broke the connection and taking his lightsaber back. A defeated sigh escaped your lips, you were so close to discovering if your assumptions were true and yet you were afraid to make the final move. Frustration boiled inside as you followed Maul to the shared room you have. He was possessive and protective resulting in you both sharing a room and bed as a precaution. The idea of someone taking you in the middle of the night haunted him and so his solution was being with him the majority of the time. Despite sharing a bed, boundaries were set in place by pillows placed down the middle of the bed to avoid any accidental contact. Entering the room, you went straight toward your drawers grabbing a clean pair of robes to take with you into the refresher. You wanted some time alone, time to process what just happened, and to figure out what it was you were truly feeling. Not even saying a word to Maul, you padded to the ‘fresher, placing your dark-colored robes on the marble sink, you undressed and turned on the sanisteam adjusting it to the temperature you enjoyed.

Stepping inside, you crossed your arms, hands on your shoulders taking in the warmth of the water washing away the weight of the day. After today’s events, you just wanted to stay within the transparisteel walls that protected you from the embarrassment of your actions. How could you be so rash? What if Maul didn’t even feel the same way you did and was simply holding back anger from you? Maybe you’re just confusing your emotions and don’t even want him like that? The doubts your Master had told you to rid of, came back with a vengeance with more to ponder on. Going to sleep tonight especially in the same bed as Maul seemed impossible.

The crackling of the fire filled your ears along with the smell of burning wood. Your mind buzzing with thoughts still confused about your feelings and actions. It wasn’t just the actions of today, your thoughts grew more intense focusing on the new path laid ahead. How did you end up here in such a position? What made you choose him and why Mandalore? During your first encounter, Maul had forgotten to mention that he was the new ruler of Mandalore. Despite having asked, it was something he did not want to discuss at least not yet. He also kept you hidden from the public eye of Mandalore citizens, those that were very close to Maul, like Death Watch, were able to meet you but that was it.

He didn’t lie though when he promised to train you. Much like earlier, he was so keen on helping you improve your technique and answer any question you had even if it didn’t pertain to the current lesson. You learned more from him than your previous master but even if the zabrack wasn’t like Feles, you still feared the inevitable errors. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, Maul intimidated you. You’ve witnessed his temper when it came to Death Watch. Metal lightly clinking against the marble flooring of the Sundari Royal Palace caused you to jump out of your skin.

“Do you fail to recall the ability I have when it comes to hearing your thoughts?” his voice was thick with sleep, brows furrowed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, Master. I just couldn’t sleep.” More like you didn’t want too. Rubbing the back of your neck, you noticed Maul inching closer to you out of your peripheral.

“You know, I’m more aware than you think. I know you have been coming out here the past few nights. I disregarded it with the expectations of it passing, but now. Now it seems it’s becoming a pattern. The only exception being, something seems to be troubling you a lot more than the previous nights.” eyes narrowing, his gaze fixated on you as he kept inching closer until there was about two inches worth of space between the both of you once more.

It baffled you how over the short period, things started to get a little different compared to when you first met. There was a type of tension between you both, though you couldn’t exactly put your finger on what it was. Today you tested those waters but instead of helping you, it only confused you more. The way he touched you though was unexpected, however, in certain circumstances, he would wrap his arm around your waist to pull you in closer to him if members from Death Watch were present.

“Hmm and yet again, the white noise is back. Care to enlighten me?” a sly grin presented itself on his face exposing his incisors.

“I don’t know. I’m confused about some things and there’s just a lot on my mind. I’m terrified Feles will find me and what would happen if he did...” sucking in a breath, lip quivering “I don’t want to live in constant fear of..”

Maul’s gaze soon became soft as he realized how much damage has been done to his apprentice. The apprentice he cares so deeply for that words alone could never express it all. His eyes searched yours, knowing you seek solace from him but he was unable to formulate a sentence.

“Just the thought about what happens if the Jedi find me? And when they see..”

“When they see you with me.” Maul interjected, his mouth forming into a frown.

“That’s not what I meant,” you mumbled, “I meant, will they take me? And what about you? What would they do to you? Surely they wouldn’t just slap you on the wrist…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something were to happen to...” trailing off, the mere thought of Feles coming for you made you nauseous. Not because of what he’d do to you no, but what he was capable of doing to Maul. The only being in this galaxy that cared for you so much, could be in danger due to the choice you made.

“(y/n) I made an oath to train you, but that also included protecting you as you’re my apprentice. My dear fret not, for we’d be made well aware of the Jedi’s presence in advance. Besides, you think he’d be able to take me on?” Pressing his forehead against yours, you can tell there was an abundance of words being withheld from you, but how could you get it out of him?

“Now little one, it’s time you get some rest.” his voice honeyed, flashing memories from when you first met. This zabrack was so forbearing with you, no matter how pissed off he’d get he’d turn to you and it would diminish instantly something you still needed to adjust to. Without any hesitation, Maul scooped you up in his arms carrying you toward the bedroom. The thought of going to sleep sounded delightful until you remembered the wall of pillows that separated your bodies. On occasions where you’ve woken from night-terrors, the boundaries were forgotten, the safety of his arms bringing you back to reality. Tonight seemed like one of those nights at least you hoped.

Placing you delicately on the soft mattress, he folded the sheets over you before shuffling over to his side of the bed. Swiftly he removed the top portion of his robes exposing his bare skin, the red skin, and black tattoos perfectly intertwined with one another creating breathtaking patterns. It was moments like these, especially during lessons, that increased your heart rate, the desire eating away at you making your body do, and feel things it’s not used to. Maker was he handsome. Slipping into bed, he started to arrange the extra pillows in the usual barrier causing you to look at him with pleading eyes. A small grin enveloped his features as he threw the extra pillows aside, waiting for you to move the rest of the way.

“You could have just asked.” maul smirked while wrapping his arms around you, chin resting on the crown of your head, your face buried in his neck.

“I’m..s-” his arm briskly unraveled, bringing the pad of his index finger to your lips.

“No. No more of that.” he hushed, his hand slowly dipping underneath your chin to lift it encouraging your eyes to meet.

Being so close to you, holding you, was enough to rile up the zabrak his mind being engulfed by lust. His breathing becoming ragged the thought of withholding himself anymore was too painful. He needs to let go and show you just how badly he wants you, and for you to be his. After your little stunt from training, the sinful thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind. His eyes met yours, luring you into his trap. This time it was inevitable, there was no escape but you didn’t run, you wanted to this, to be his.

Leaning in, your lips collide together, the kiss rough but full of passion, leaving you both ravenous for more. His hands slowly begin to wander your body, molding to your form, savoring how your skin feels. Pulling apart, Maul lowers his mouth on the soft flesh of your neck, open-mouthed kisses that leave you feeling light-headed. Soft whimpers filled the zabrak's ears, as you crave his mouth all over your body. Slowly he begins climbing on top of you, his kisses slowly turning into nips. A small gasp escapes your mouth as his hands find their placement on your hips, his grip growing more intense by the second just like earlier.

“Is this okay..?” he brought his lips back to yours for a chaste kiss.

Inhaling sharply, you nod, cheeks beginning to flush from the eye contact.

“Good. Did you think I’d let you get away with that tease during training?” the low guttural growl from him was enough to send you over the edge.

Your skin was prickling, pressure building up between your folds. You wanted him badly, you ached for him, he even knew that except he was going to tease you until you couldn’t handle it anymore. His hands traveled to the hem of your robes, glancing at you for permission. Once you give him the go, Maul wasted no time getting the fabric off your body casting it aside. Your heart now pounding you were exposed in front of him, the chilled air making your nipples harden. The zabrak’s pupils were dilated, his amber eyes glowing with passion. A low growl emerged from him as he brushes his lips against yours. His touch was intoxicating, leaving you dizzy and breathless.

“I can no longer hold back. Now that I know what you want,” he whispered. “Let me take care of you..” he pleaded, breath hot against your neck.

Hands splayed across your chest, he grabs your breasts, nipples between his index finger and thumb tugging lightly. You let out another soft whimper, only to be muffled by his lips begging for another taste. The tip of his tongue traced the outline of your bottom lip waiting to gain entrance. Opening your mouth, tongues were rolling together in the passionate fiery kiss while his hand began to slide down toward your heated core very slowly. Mouth trailing down once more, his teeth connected with your neck nipping hungrily. The need to wanting to mark you as his, now in full control. Reaching your breasts Maul couldn’t help but nip and suck the flesh leaving several glowing marks that added to the collection he created.

“Gods have I craved you..” he groaned.

“If only you knew what went through my mind….” your voice quivering as his tongue swirled around your nipple, sending a wave of ecstasy through your body.

A smirk enveloped his features hearing the words leave your mouth, only for it to be replaced with an arched brow as his hand reaches your folds.

"Seems like someone is a bit eager?" Maul teased, his middle finger gliding up and down your slit, barely touching your entrance.

Pleasure consumed your body causing you to buck your hips into the digit. A sly grin plastered itself on his face as he pulls away, his torturous teasing making you beg.

"Please..maul.." you cried out, grabbing his wrist and placing his hand over your pussy.

"Tsk tsk," he growled, leaving his hand on your heated core but eyes burning into you. "You're still being punished."

His teasing was driving you insane, you couldn't control yourself anymore. The warning that left his lips was so seductive, giving you the confidence to wrap your arms around the zabrak's neck.

"Two can play this game.." you muttered in his ear. Placing feathery kisses along his throat, earning several moans from Maul.

His thumb began circling your swollen bud in retaliation along with his middle finger brushing against your entrance. Seeing the relief wash over your face, he grinned as he began to insert his digit inside you. Just feeling of how wet you were because of him was enough to make him lose all inhibition. Breaking free from your grip around him, he slid down your body spreading your thighs farther apart. The need to taste you was overwhelming. Placing delicate kisses on the inside of your thighs followed by several on the lips of your pussy, Maul then delved his tongue deep inside. The sensation was one you've never even thought to experience, toes curling and moans ringing throughout the room. The sheets bundled up in your hands weren't enough, you needed something rigid. Your hands made their way to his horns latching on as he kept lapping away at your pussy.

"Maker are you delicious (y/n).." he murmured, still deep between your folds.

The ability to speak was taken away from you, the only things you were able to let out were moans and whimpers from the satisfaction. Maul gave you one last tongue swirl around your clit before breaking away to pull off his bottom robes. His body was stunning, intricate patterns woven all over even around his cock. Speechless, you reach out and slide your hand down his chest, abdomen, until your hand wraps around his hard, ribbed cock. Precum glazed his tip, however, your attention was soon taken to his size. He was larger than you expected, hesitation filling you at the thought of him tearing into you. Sensing your apprehension, he places a warm hand on your cheek.

"I'll take it slow at first okay just relax..?" he cooed, leaning in for a kiss.

Seconds later, Maul was guiding himself in, your walls stretching around his cock. Judging by the minor grimace on your face, he pauses so you could adjust to his length while whispering praises in your ear.

Trying to push past the minor discomfort, you locked eyes with Maul, "Go ahead. Fuck me. I need it...I need you inside me" you whined.

"As you wish darling...but don't forget. You asked for it." he grinned, planting a kiss on your lips.

Soon enough he was beginning to thrust into you rhythmically, the pain being replaced by ecstasy. Curses rolled off your tongue while he growled and grunted back, his breathing ragged and muscles rippling. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he pinned your hands against the bed, sinking deeper into your core. His warm skin against yours was even better than you had imagined it. A sheen of sweat began to cover his body, glistening in the low light.

Throwing your head back against the mattress, jaw-slacked, Maul began leaving another trail of open-mouthed kisses down your neck as well as a wandering hand toward your clit. Pleasure scorched through your entire body, the pressure building in your stomach making your walls tighten around his member.

"Gods...Maul...I'm so..cl-" you whimpered, a gasp leaving your lips as his thumb began brushing against your clit.

"No, I'm not done with you yet." he growled, pulling his thumb away and placing his hands on your hips.

"Kriff!" with his thumb retreating from your swollen bud, you needed something to replace the euphoric sensation. "Fuck me harder then.."

His hands made their way to your hips, grasp tightening as his thrusts increase. The room was filled with skin slapping against skin and the musky smell of sex. Your nails found their way into Maul's sweaty flesh on his shoulder blades causing him to release a guttural growl.

"That's my good girl." he rasped, licking his lips. "Look at you are taking this zabraki cock." his praise was so alluring, that you'd do anything to hear more.

You could tell by the way he was breathing that he was nearing the edge causing him to lose himself completely. Maul was absolutely feral, hearts pounding, lost to the pleasure that devoured his body. Despite his strokes becoming sloppy they still managed to hit your g-spot each time, bliss traveling throughout your body. Your pussy was soaking wet. Him being balls deep, cock swelling and pulsating left you breathless. You couldn't hold back anymore you needed to let go.

"Please..please Maul I can't hold back anymore...I need to cum...please..." you implored, your nails digging even deeper into his flesh.

"Go...ahead. Cum for me..." he groaned barely able to catch his breath.

He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes squeezed shut. Your orgasm struck you like lightning, vision going black and thighs trembling. Amid yours, Maul then came, the feeling of him pulsating stronger than before. Pleasure rippled through his body making him buckle on top of you breathing roughly. Coming down from your high, you wrap your arms around the zabrak giving him a moment to recover.

"Well..." he inhaled still laying on top of you. "That was...unexpected."

"yeah.." you mumbled trying to come up with more words, though your mind was blanking as exhaustion was washing over.

"At least you now know what happens when you pull something like that," he teased. He shifted slightly pulling himself out of your cum filled pussy.

"Guess that means I'll have to do it again huh?" you blurted out before realizing what you had just said.

"So the apprentice still hasn't learned her lesson hmm?" his brow arched, amusement in his tone. "Next time I won't hold back then."

"You were holding back?" you sucked in a breath, feeling the tingling sensation between your thighs. Maker was your body going to be sore in the morning.

Maul swung his legs over you and sat at the edge of the mattress before standing up. He chuckled at your question, giving a curt nod. “I may have made a mess out of you…” he grinned, looking at the marks he left behind. “Come now, let’s get you in the refresher.”

Taking your hand, he helped you up and walked you over to the refresher, hand resting on the small off your back. Once he got you situated, he walked back out to grab his robes and slipped into the bottom half.

“Sir you have an urgent holocall!" a Death Watch member frantically barging into the bedroom.

Hearing a voice erupting from the bedroom, you turned the shower on but walked over to the closed door trying to eavesdrop. Who was coming in so late at night?

"Lower your voice!" Maul hissed, meeting the Mandalorian half-way.

"I'm sorry sir...it's just extremely urgent. It's Fele-,"

Maul interjected him, "Don't finish that sentence."

The Mandalorian shut his mouth quickly fear washing over him. Taking a deep breath he started again. "He's asking if you have her..." his voice in a hushed tone.

A wave of nausea hit you. There were only several ways that sentence could have ended. You walked over to the shower not wanting to hear any more in fear of the truth. Stepping in, the warm water provided you comfort as sobs wracked your body. You slowly slid your back down the transparisteel not wanting to ever leave the shower. Was his offer just a deception? How could he pretend just like everyone else? How could he be so vulnerable with you and seal the bond he claimed existed? None of it made sense to you and that made the anxieties worse. You needed to leave, to escape.

"Tell him I don't," Maul uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Uh..well he requests your presence.." the young Mandalorian shifted uncomfortably.

Maul had enough. His frustration peaked causing him to use the force grip. The young mando dropped his helmet as he was grabbing at his throat, struggling to breathe. His eyes wide and beginning to tear, he truly felt as if he was about to die right then and there. Releasing the grip, Maul dropped the young man to the ground before walking right over him.

"Since you're incompetent, I will deal with this." he spat, anger fueling him.

#Clone Wars #star wars x reader #star wars clone wars #star wars #darth maul #darth maul x reader #darth maul smut #maul x reader #maul smut

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lady-charinette · 4 years

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Adrien Agreste =/= Sociopath - About Adrien Salt

I've seen a lot of posts going around about Adrien being a sociopath or the other (harasser, abuser...etc.)

What I find most of those posts lacking is looking at the big picture, or just zeroing in on certain moments of the show and even disregarding the context of those selected moments to unfairly rule judgement on a child (in canon) no less.

Definition of sociopath: A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.

People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming.

We have to analyze the context and the surroundings Adrien is in.

Family, social life, relationships (platonic and romantic), personality, age, environment...etc.

Family:

We know Adrien has a father who is controlling, preferring to micro-manage every aspect of his son's life to continue to have a semblance of control at all times. We assume (heavily implied in the show), that his mother was kind, warm and emotional (whether that emotional is the "out-there" kind her twin sister has, it remains to be seen.)

According to a snippet from "Simon Says", Adrien also has "Quite a temper, you remind me of someone" according to Gabriel's own words, we can assume the "someone" is Emilie, Gabriel says this when Chat Noir refused to follow his orders and told him to basically "get off his high horse". In this context, anyone who defies Gabriel in such a way would either be branded as "disobedient" or to "have quite a temper".

According to Adrien himself in "Adrien's Double Life" (from Miraculous Secrets) he describes being Chat Noir as "...I can finally do whatever I want to do, say whatever comes to mind." He doesnt feel as restricted and controlled since that's the one aspect of his life his father has no knowledge of.

Social life:

Adrien has had no or very little interaction with peers.

Evidence: Chloe being his childhood friend. Felix commenting on Chloe's appearance in the video she sent for Adrien's birthday, saying "Chloe. Just as annoying as usual." suggests he knows her from before, maybe even as early on as their childhood days.

This makes Felix and Chloe the only kids, of spoiled and rich background, with whom Adrien interacted.

Felix is shown to be good at manipulating people and keeping up appearances (potentially connected to insecurities within the family? Not confirmed), Chloe is openly mean and bullies others (with underlying insecurities also connected to her parents).

The only positive adult (if Gorilla isn't as involved and Nathalie had been solely Gabriel's secretary and not Adrien's caretaker since there was Emilie) in Adrien's life would be his mother, who also fell into a coma during Adrien's formative years (and still during a time where he's figuring himself and his emotions out: puberty), leaving him with his father.

Moving on, even if the writer's sometimes may not always successfully show Adrien being awkward in social interactions, it doesnt mean they dont exist.

This interaction between him and Marinette, asking for her autograph, very formal in his question, awkward in posture:

He's picked up on some speech patterns from his frequent interactions with Nino ("dude", "Hey man." "Totally dude.") showing he's, like many people, mimicking his friend's behavior and speech to grow more favorably in their eyes.

The same pattern can be observed with Gabriel and Adrien: Adrien adopts his father's formal speech whenever talking to him, since that appeases him.

Adrien has had very limited friendly interactions with his peers, romantic interactions are basically non-existent. The scenes where Adrien is being chased by his fans, who obsessively adore him, cant be linked to Adrien experiencing healthy romantic contact (Lila doesn't count since she only uses Adrien to further her goals). Marinette doesn't count since Adrien's isn't even aware of her romantic feelings for him. (Again, difficulties picking up social cues due to only ever being homeschooled > limited social contact with peers)

So no, in my humble opinion, Adrien sometimes doesn't understand other people's feelings not because he's a sociopath, but because he's an awkward kid with very little experience about making friends and having healthy relationships with them.

Relationships:

Let's be direct here: Gabriel is an abusive as*hole.

If the writer's wanted to show Gabriel struggling or having remorse for his actions being Hawkmoth and putting his son through danger, well... They blew it. "Gorizilla" was a 5 second reaction of Hawkmoth showing concern after letting Adrien fall from a skyscraper. Applause. After that? Not much.

Nathalie: Adrien likes, she takes care of him, his schedule, was the one to convince Gabriel to let him attend public school. There are moments in the show where she softens up towards Adrien, but always carries that air of professionalism on her to (possibly, assumption) not grow too close. Gorilla is...Gorilla, but at least the man tries with his nonverbal support and affectionate grunts. Lol.

Gabriel: He loves his father. It's his parent, after all. However, Adrien's reactions to him are vastly different than to how he reacts when thinking of his mother. He shows signs of fear (tensing up, growing obedient...etc.), he excuses his father's excessive controlling tendencies to just be "he's just worried about me", "that's the way he always was", "father cares and protects me". Adrien shows to be frequently disappointed with Gabriel, one of the first scenes being that Gabriel couldn't attend parent's day at school, Adrien was talking on the phone alone in the school hallway. He was genuinely surprised by the blue scarf his father gifted him (not knowing it was Marinette), since all he used to get were pens (again, not even from Gabriel, but Nathalie). This is my assumption but: Adrien has previously begged his father to go outside more or attend public school, but this time it worked only because Nathalie managed to convince him.

Friends from school: Nino is his best friend, Adrien seems to be good friends with Alya too, basically everyone in class, with varying degrees of closeness. Chloe is a childhood friend whom Adrien is fond of but also grows exasperated with and corrects her behavior if she's too harsh.

Marinette: likes and respects her, but can't read her well or at least when he thinks he's got her figured out, she claims the opposite. Marinette has been sending mixed signals, on one hand even making Adrien believe (and fear) they weren't friends. "Chat Blanc" contrary to popular belief, showed that Adrien is delighted at the prospect of Marinette being Ladybug (he'd severe doubts when Chloe or anyone else was brought up as a possible option).

Kagami: likes her, respects her, admires her fencing skills, learned to have fun hanging out with her and playing as kids usually do since she also has a controlling parent and they both know some ways/tricks around their boundaries to sneak off and meet their friends. Adrien and Kagami have similarities in that respect, Gabriel pushing Adrien to be a model, Mrs. Tsurugi pushing Kagami to be a master fencer.

Lila: At first defended her, was friendly towards her since she was a new student from overseas he sympathized because surely it would be lonely? The new girl would need a friend who supported her through all this things that were new for him too. However, as soon as he caught wind of Lila's schemes, he changes his tune. He feels uncomfortable around her overstepping his boundaries, expresses anger when Lila accused Marinette of crimes she didn't commit and even makes a deal with her to not bother Marinette again (but use him instead, doing photoshoots together...etc.) to keep her safe.

Age:

A 14-15 year old, having lost his mother, the only positive, healthy relationship in his life. Surrounded by a controlling father, not much free time, many extracurricular activities and being a superhero alongside Ladybug.

Some of the signs of being a sociopath include: Breaking rules and being impulsive.... Didn't Ladybug do those too?

Breaking the rules: (since LB and Marinette are the same) stealing phones, sneaking into places where she shouldn't, using the miraculous for personal gain (latest example: getting Kagami away from Adrien), giving Adrien the snake miraculous due to personal preference instead of drawing logical conclusions. Sneaked into the Agreste mansion.

Impulsiveness: Marinette's daily fantasies (sharing a future life with Adrien and their hamster-who-must-not-be-named), when Lila's "precious family heirloom necklace" was "stolen", Marinette was quick to include her classmates in the list of potential perpetrators for it (without ill intent, but still..)

You know who the real potential sociopath in the show is?

Gabriel

Some of you might include Lila too (since she fits all the criteria for being a sociopath), but the key difference is: Lila is still just a kid.

We don't know much about her family life. Just that her mother is busy with work, we don't know where her father is, who her friends were/if she even had them. She might be lying and manipulating people to follow her own agenda, but she thrives in attention, when people notice and praise her. In some aspects, that could've been Adrien. With one neglectful parent, a missing parent, no friends (prior to going to school)...etc. There is also a lot we don't know about her.

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tsukihimeyfan · 4 years

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Things in AtLA that I wish had gotten resolved/addressed better

So we all know AtLA is the Greatest Cartoon Show Of All Time (TM) but I always felt like there were several loose ends that would’ve REALLY benefited from a Book 4: Air, and I wanted to rant about them for a second, so here they are:

1) Azula’s mental health and (possible) redemption: I really wish we had gotten to see Azula come out of the pit she dug herself into. Because of the evil acts we see her commit, we often forget that Azula was just a 14 YEAR OLD GIRL, who had spent all of her life trying to live up to the expectations of her abusive father and who was betrayed by literally everyone close to her in the end. Of course there still should’ve been consequences to her actions, but I don’t believe she was an irredeemable hopeless case. I feel like this line:

was REALLY telling as to why she did what she did. I often wonder if maybe she’d started out just doing her best to act in a way where she would NOT be punished or hated like she’d SEEN her brother be, and then it just became so ingrained into her that it changed her. Especially since her mother and uncle, the only other adult presences in her life, kept themselves mostly removed from her and ultimately failed her (I understand that Ursa was probably trying her best to help the child she believed was most in danger from Ozai, but if your 9 YEAR OLD daughter comes out of your relationship believing “my own mother thought I was a monster” then you’ve failed as a parent. Sorry)

Aaron Ehasz said this about a year ago:

and honestly I would have LOVED THAT. “At the deepest moment in her own abyss she would have found: Zuko”. Like, what?!?! Zuko getting to be Azula’s Iroh, to help her crawl of the dark place she was in through compassion and kindness?? YES PLEASE!!! Also, imagine what Azula could’ve been if she’d ever decided to use her razor-sharp intellect for Good? This girl conquered Ba Sing Se with only 2 people on her side initially, little to no bloodshed, and no civilian casualties! She could’ve accomplished SO MUCH as Zuko’s advisor/right hand woman or something!

2) Aang dealing with his grief regarding the Air Nomad Genocide: truth be told, we never see Aang truly take the time to cry and mourn over the loss of literally everyone he ever knew and loved aside from those brief moments during the Southern Air Temple and The Guru, and even then he never got to dwell on it for long because the world needed him and he had to focus on that.

I’m quite sad that he never got to have that catharsis, to truly come to terms with his feelings on the matter (besides seemingly focusing all his love on Katara, as we’re told during The Guru). He should have gotten the chance to rebuild his home and find his new place in the world in the appropriately-named Book 4: Air. For example, I’ve seen theories that Ty Lee was a descendant of the remaining Air Nomads, and it would’ve been so great for it to be true and for Aang to go around the world searching for others like her and teaching them Air Nomad philosophy. Also wish we could’ve seen Aang finding and protecting the last Sky Bisons, collecting Air Nomad scriptures with Zuko’s help and spreading them across the world, or restoring the Air Temples to their former glory (maybe Teo and the Mechanist could’ve helped in that endeavor to make up for wrecking the Northern Air Temple. I never liked that at the end of that episode we’re told to think Aang was in the wrong, when literally the last remaining vestiges of his culture had been changed and almost destroyed and he had every right to be angry about it).

3) Toph’s Life Changing Field Trip with Zuko: I really dislike Zuko dismissing Toph’s talk about her parents during The Phoenix King. I feel like it’s quite a bit out of character, since he would of course be able to understand better than anyone in the Gaang how being forced to change yourself to fit in with your rich&powerful parents’ expectations of you feels. You’re telling me that the guy who immediately empathized with Katara when she mentions how the Fire Nation took her mother from her in the Crystal Catacombs (while they were still “enemies” might I add), who encouraged Aang when he felt uneasy about his firebending, who stuck with Sokka when he was feeling down about his plans failing and inspired him to keep trying, who helped Katara find closure on her mother’s death and praised her sacrifice saying “[she] was a brave woman”, and who was comforted by Toph herself just a few days before when he was feeling down about Iroh, wouldn’t take a second to empathize with her? I don’t buy it.

Also can you imagine the kind of shenanigans two badass rule breakers like them could’ve gotten into???

They could’ve saved or toppled a city in one night. It would’ve been EPIC. WE WERE ROBBED.

4) Aang and Katara’s relationship: just... so much about it. I’m not even going to get into how much I wish Zutara (or the beginnings of it) had been made canon, but if they were going to make Kataang canon I wish they had showed us MUCH MORE of the development of Katara’s feelings. I mean, on the Ember Island Players we leave them with Aang having screwed up by disregarding her boundaries and forcing a kiss (and then never apologizing for it smh),

and then we get NOTHING until somehow during the very last 10min of the series she all of a sudden reciprocates his feelings in full???? Without anything getting resolved????

Like what?!?! How did she go from A to B???? At least show me how she debated the matter! Show me how she talked about it with someone, or mulled it over on her own! Show me what exactly she found that she loved ROMANTICALLY about Aang! Show me him apologizing for overstepping and her forgiving him! Show me Katara stop babying Aang gradually! Show me Katara having cute blushing moments like she does for her other crushes (namely Jet and Haru) SPRINKLED ALL THROUGHOUT THE STORY WITH INCREASING FREQUENCY INSTEAD OF ONLY ON 2-3 ISOLATED INSTANCES IN THE WHOLE SHOW, WHILE OTHERWISE SHE ACTS LIKE HIS MOM OR OLDER SISTER!!!! Arrrggh we should’ve gotten a Book 4 if only so we could end on that kiss on a balcony properly. They both deserved better than we got.

5) Katara’s role in the world Post-War: from what little I’ve heard of the comics, it seemed as if Katara was relegated to the role of “Aang’s girlfriend”, which was reinforced by what we saw in LoK where she mostly stays in the South Pole while all her other friends are helping save the world. She doesn’t even seem to have her own statue! I find this highly disrespectful of her character, since the Katara we know would’ve “never turned her back on people who need her” and would’ve fought tooth and nail to make the world a better place. She never would’ve been content as a stay-at-home wife. She ends up “in the healing huts” just like Pakku thought she should and that’s so sad😔 I wish we could’ve seen her become a political activist protesting for women’s right to learn combat waterbending at the North Pole, an environmentalist/ecoterrorist, a medical volunteer, an ambassador for Aang’s new Air Nation or for the Water Tribes, a warrior putting the Fear of God(TM) into anyone who tried to assassinate Zuko or Aang, or even all of the above. Katara is a BAMF with strong opinions and we should’ve seen her do something with them goddammit.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#atla #Avatar The Last Airbender #thyf rambles #meta #the gaang #team avatar #Zuko #aang #katara #sokka #toph beifong #atla meta

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goth-surana · 3 years

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Hope and Hopelessness Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of 5

Main pairing: Anders/Male Hawke

Main tags: Angst with a happy ending, tranquil!Anders, cure for tranquility

Summary: After some time on the run with Hawke, Anders is caught and made tranquil. Hawke cannot bring himself to kill him, instead chasing a distant hope that there may be a cure.

Read on AO3 or below the cut

They made it to Amaranthine, and Hawke followed the instructions Varric left for contacting the Hero of Ferelden. It was a drop location where he could leave a note. He hoped what he wrote made it clear that Anders was in need of help without mentioning him by name. Hawke had Anders recount a memory shared only between the two of them, hopefully that would convince her

And so Hawke waited in the woods at the location he left in the note, slightly outside the city boundaries. Hopefully the Warden Commander got the message, and hopefully she would come.

Hawke had never met Warden Commander Surana, but he had heard the legends of the angry little elf who saved the whole nation.

Hawke waited, and waited. Anders stood silently. Although he showed little expression, Hawke could tell he was doubtful this would work. One thing Hawke never wanted to have enough experience to find out was that the tranquil were not entirely blank. They made logical deductions, they had opinions. Right now Anders’ opinion was clearly that Hawke was an idiot, but Hawke could live with that.

“Anders?” A woman’s voice cut through the silence, and Hawke turned to see a cloaked figure with a staff strapped to her back walking through the trees.

“Warden-“ Hawke began, but didn’t get the chance to finish before the woman let out an audible gasp and swung her staff around, pointing it at Hawke.

“Nate!” She screamed, “it’s a trap!”

An arrow flew directly into Hawke’s shoulder, and he yelled as he fell back into a tree. Vines erupted from the ground and twisted around Hawke’s legs, dragging him to his knees.

The elf loomed over him, her thunderous expression visible under her hood.

“How many more of you are there?” She asked.

“I’m not here to hurt you-“

“You-“ she began, then stopped as her voice cracked.

“Holy Maker!” A man with dark hair exclaimed as he stepped out from behind the trees.

“You,” Warden Commander Surana continued, “used my friend as bait to get me here! Start talking right now!”

Tears were welling up in her furious eyes.

“I did no such thing! I need your help!”

Surana looked at him incredulously, then raised her staff again. Hawke braced himself, but was spared by the man’s voice that Hawke now realized he had heard before.

“Wait, Commander! That’s the Champion of Kirkwall.”

“What?” The woman asked, her voice low.

“I met him in Kirkwall. He is Anders’ lover.”

“Yes,” Anders himself added, “please do not kill him.”

Surana’s eyes snapped over to Anders. Her brow pinched together for a moment, but she shook herself out of it and looked back towards Hawke. The way she spoke was all too familiar to Hawke now, because she was trying not to cry.

“Then why is he tranquil?” The woman managed to say, low and dangerous.

Hawke knew the answer to this one. It was easy, really.

“Because I failed.”

No one said anything for a few moments. Leaves rustled around them in the breeze, the fading sun broke through the tree canopy. The vines binding Hawke released, and Surana stepped forward.

Without a word, she yanked the arrow out of Hawke’s shoulder and followed it up with a wave of healing magic. It prickled and stung, nowhere near as smooth as Anders’ work.

“You move too fast,” Anders told her. “You are still impatient.”

Surana laughed, and then sobbed. She sank to her knees and pressed her head into her hands.

“You’re such a nag…” she muttered. “Even now, you’re still… oh Maker…”

“Anders…” came the man’s voice. If Hawke remembered correctly, his name was Nathaniel. “What happened to you?” He too looked stricken, his eyes wide and his face pale.

“I was made tranquil,” Anders said simply.

“I can bloody see that!” Nathaniel snapped, then took a deep breath. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I mean… who did this?”

“Templars,” Anders told him. “I do not believe they were officially sanctioned by the Chantry, but they were aware of the previous orders to bring me to justice for what I did. They felt this was a better solution than killing me, as they believed I could tell them about the mage rebellion.”

Hawke hated hearing one of the worst days of his life recounted with such dispassion, such disregard for the enormity of what happened. And to hear this from the victim himself…

“What-“ Surana asked before her voice broke again. “What did you need help with?”

“I’m looking for a cure for tranquility.”

Surana gave him an incredulous look. “What makes you think I’ll have it?”

Hawke’s heart sank. This was another dead end.

After letting out a long breath, Hawke answered. “Because I’m desperate, and Varric said you Wardens knew secrets no one else did.”

“Who’s Varric?” Surana asked.

“Member of the inquisition. Knows Leliana.”

“Oh. So she told him how to contact me?”

“Yeah.” Hawke’s throat felt dry, his heart felt dead. He had known this was a long shot. He had known that. But it still fucking hurt, like it hurt every time. Like it hurt every time he had to look to his lover and see a dead shell of a man. Like it hurt every single day.

A tear slid down Hawke’s cheek, but Surana didn’t say anything about it. She was crying silently too.

“There’s a Warden warehouse in Amaranthine that we’re hiding out in,” said Surana. “You two are welcome to stay as long as you need. I’m… I’m sorry I can’t help any more than that.”

And she did look sorry. Surana looked bloody miserable, on top of looking like the wind had been knocked out of her. Hawke had looked like that, in the beginning. When he had still been processing that his love was taken away.

“You were his friend, right?” Hawke asked.

Surana nodded. “I had been… fuck. I had been so happy to hear from Nate that he was alive. I had… I’d wanted to see him again.”

Surana scrunched her face up in frustration. “I’m sorry I’m being like this. I have no right to be, not next to his lover. I can’t even imagine-“

Surana couldn’t finish her sentence, and just curled her knees to her chest and hid her face in her arms.

“It’s alright,” Hawke told her. “I know you two were close. He didn’t speak often of his time with the Wardens, but he spoke fondly of you.”

Hawke remembered enjoying the times Anders did open up and tell stories. It was often in the Hanged Man, because Varric had a knack for getting stories out of people. Everyone would listen with rapt attention as Anders spoke of his time working under the Hero of Ferelden, of how she was just like the legends said but at the same time so different. How she was angry and passionate and how she saved him from the Templars’ sword.

“Thank you, by the way.” Hawke told Surana. He had remembered wanting to tell her that, if they ever met.

“For?” Surana looked up from her arms, confused.

“For saving him. He told me it’s thanks to you he’s alive. If you hadn’t stepped in, he would have been dead before I could even meet him.”

Hawke remembered having that realization long ago in Kirkwall. He had been in bed, Anders curled safely against his chest and sleeping soundly. So many things had almost taken Anders from Hawke before Hawke would have even known what he’d lost. Hawke had held on tighter then, and thanked the Maker for his fortune. He barely believed in the Maker anymore, but… but if there was someone out there to thank, then they deserved it.

Hawke didn’t deserve any fucking thanks, though. He had barely gotten Anders out of Kirkwall alive, and then failed him in every way possible. He failed to protect him from tranquility, and now every day he failed to free him from it.

“He saved me a lot too,” Surana replied, smiling sadly as teartracks caught the fading light. “He saved Amaranthine, you know. I was going to abandon it, I thought it was a lost cause. But… but he argued. He argued and he reminded me that we had to try, no matter how hopeless. I had become a bit jaded, by then… so thank the Maker for him. All of Amaranthine owes him their lives.”

“A lot of people owe him their lives,” Hawke said. “More than he killed. Everybody forgets that, they forget how many he healed.”

It was unfair that Anders would be remembered as a murderer and not a healer. If Hawke had any influence at all anymore, he would be remembered as a hero.

“Let’s head to the warehouse you mentioned,” came Anders’ voice. “It’s getting dark.”

Nathaniel nodded grimly. He wasn’t crying, but the man looked harrowed.

The group silently walked back to the city, and Surana led them to an old building full of crates and weapons. In one corner there were two bedrolls, presumably belonging to the Wardens.

“Why are you in hiding, anyway?” Hawke asked. “The inquisition was desperate to find you.”

“Same reason you’re hiding,” Surana answered, “because it’s the fucking Inquisition. I don’t trust that Chantry bullshit.”

“But… isn’t your…”

“…Lover with the Inquisition?” Surana finished. “Yeah. It’s complicated. It’s where her life took her, and she wants to reform the Chantry. If there’s anything left to reform at this point, what with the Divine dying and all.”

Surana was about to say something else, then stopped. She looked down at the floor and let out a sigh. From the light of her staff Hawke saw a faded red stain on the floorboards.”

“Fucking figures we’d end up here.”

Hawke waited for her to elaborate. Nathaniel offered to clear some space for Hawke and Anders.

“This place used to be owned by the Chantry,” said Surana. “Back when I first recruited Anders, the Templars set up an ambush here. Tricked us into thinking Anders’ phylactery was here… so I came to help him destroy it.”

Surana spoke calmly, but there was clearly emotion boiling beneath the surface.

“When the Templars attacked, we killed them. After that was done, I freaked out. I… I talked a big game back then, but like every mage I’m just afraid. I had never struck back at the Templars, I felt like the world was ending and the Chantry was going to somehow find out and somehow take me back.”

Surana looked over at where Anders stood, gave him a sad smile. “But my recruits were there to save me, this time. Nate and Valenna got rid of the bodies, and Anders sat with me until I could finally calm down. It was the first time…” Surana’s voice grew thick, she grimaced as more tears came.

“It was the first time someone really got it. He understood what it was like growing up at Kinloch Hold, he understood the fear. So he just talked to me until I felt like I could breathe. He told me it would be okay…”

Surana looked at Anders, then away again. “He was there for me, but I wasn’t there for him. The Wardens called me away, and I thought I left Amaranthine better than I found it. But then the new Warden Commander came and ruined everything. He’s gone now, but… but he did his damage first. He let the bloody Templars in.”

Surana looked angry, but the kind of tired anger where all you could really feel was resignation. Hawke was familiar, too familiar with that.

“I know you think you failed,” Surana told Hawke, “but I failed him first.”

Hawke was about to reply, when Anders spoke up.

“You didn’t fail me, Commander Surana. It wasn’t your fault. Even my former self never blamed you for what happened.”

The woman looked stricken, stared at Anders for a moment. Nathaniel’s stance also changed, he looked more tense.

“You called me Surana…”

“It’s what I’m supposed to call you.”

Surana laughed, wet and miserable. “But you never fucking did… you always called me Regan, even in front of the nobles…”

“That was quite foolish of me,” Anders remarked.

“No, it was you of you. You couldn’t respect niceties and customs… and I respected that about you. Sorry, I respect that about you. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t talk like you're not here.”

“Your friend is gone, Commander Surana,” was Anders’ calm reply. “It is reasonable to feel grief.”

Surana inhaled sharply, then took two strides forward and hugged Anders. He stood there passively while she cried.

“I’m so sorry…” was all Hawke heard of her muffled voice.

Something warm bloomed in Hawke’s chest for the rest of the night, as he and the two Wardens continued to talk. He had never thought about it before, but these were the first people he could talk to about Anders. They were the first people Hawke could grieve with. And they did grieve. Surana grieved openly, and Nathaniel silently.

It touched Hawke’s dead heart to see other people who knew how much good Anders brought to this terrible world.

They swapped stories of Anders the whole night, laughing and crying in equal measure. It didn’t feel pleasurable per se… but it was a release.

#handers #m!handers #anders/male hawke #anders/hawke

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delimeful · 4 years

Text

a mourning dove

here it is! a little late, but this is my @secret-sanders-sized gift for @roseof-alltrades3 !

i apologize for the lateness! i was so excited to work with your prompt that i ended up biting off more than i could chew and writing quite a bit more than planned! still, i hope that you like it! <3

warnings: blood, capture, fear, referring to a person as an ‘it’, random jerk giant

Logan was in the middle of breaking seven different rules when he was almost caught by a human.

He’d been frustrated with his teacher, who refused to even consider the possible benefits of human technology, and with his best friend, who got upset at even the mention of humans being anything but dangerous, evil creatures. Nobody ever listened to him, not about the things that mattered. He’d seen some of the tools humans had, and he was certain they could benefit greatly from studying them!

Of course, he’d only caught glimpses of those tools because he’d gone past the borough’s boundaries… far past them. But his point still stood!

Incensed by being disregarded, Logan had abandoned his daily tasks to find his way to the edge of the woods again. Now, he was searching the forest floor for any possible human artifacts he could bring back as evidence to support his claim.

Unfortunately, most of what he’d found was trash. Human litter tossed out of car windows or blown in from nearby fields. Logan grimaced, angling his wings to bank left, away from another shiny wrapper he’d mistaken for metal.

Though their creations were interesting, Roman did have a point. Humans themselves were rather repulsive, in both mannerisms and appearance, what with the lack of wings. He almost pitied them. Almost.

Distracted as he was by scanning the ground, when he finally caught sight of the human, it was just as the giant creature was crossing the boundary into the woods, only meters away. He froze for a moment, seized by some primitive instinct that overrode his logical mind screaming to flee before he was seen.

The human’s eyes flicked in his direction, and then promptly tripped over a stray tree root and toppled over with a yelp and a loud crash. The ground seemed to almost vibrate with the impact.

Shaken by the quick movement, Logan finally managed to break out of his terrified haze and snapped his wings to swiftly dive towards the nearest branches for cover. He was going too fast to manage his usual precise landing, but managed to slam chest first into a thicker branch and cling to it, tawny wings tucked up against himself.

“Oops,” the human mumbled, picking a twig out of his bangs absently. “Sorry for the scare, little birds.”

He didn’t give the trees around him more than a cursory glance before continuing over to a nearby birch, settling easily at the base of it and pulling the shoulder strap of his bag over his head. Logan breathed a near-silent sigh of relief, letting his death grip on the branch ease slightly; it seemed like the human had mistaken whatever glimpse he’d caught of the winged tiny as a bird.

Still, the scare was enough to make his heart beat like it was trying to jump right out of his chest. He began to edge slowly along the tree limb, trying for a branch that extended behind the human’s field of vision. A leaf fluttered down, shaken loose by his movements, and he followed it with his gaze to where the human was sitting with a strange, rectangular device in his lap.

Logan bit the soft inside of his lip. He should go back to the borough, warn Roman and the other guards of the human wandering near, especially after such a close call, but…

Below him, the human opened the rectangle up, forming a right angle that was almost like an open book held sideways. He hummed a cheerful tune as the inside panels of the device suddenly changed color. Logan locked his legs around the branch, peering down. The human hadn’t seen him, and was very intent on the device, so it couldn’t hurt to take a bit longer.

For the next hour, he watched curiously as the human pressed on the bottom rectangle, which was full of small square buttons that clicked, sometimes hesitant and sometimes so fast that it seemed as though he wasn’t even looking at what he was pressing.

More intriguing was the way the bright, color-changing part would respond to the button pressing, small black lines appearing on a white background or entirely new scenes flashing into existence. The device seemed to glow, like a light reflected by water or one of the boroughs enchanted lanterns, but he could find no source for the light to be reflecting from, and everyone knew humans couldn’t perform enchantments.

By the time the human stretched and changed the square back to a dull black, it was beginning to grow dark. The human closed the device back into its original form, and tucked it into his bag with easy motions. Logan sighed in disappointment, brimming with questions. He wanted to know everything about that strange technology- how it worked, what it was used for, where the human got it- but his only source of answers seemed done for the day, packing up and rising to his feet.

After all, it wasn’t as though he could speak to a human. He’d be killed on the spot, or worse, captured. He watched as the tremendous creature yawned, displaying a mouth with teeth large enough to bite him in half, and shuddered. He was fairly certain humans weren’t that barbaric, but it was still unnerving to see.

It was only once the human had vanished back over the hill that Logan finally felt at ease enough to stand on his branch, spreading his cramped wings a few times. He sent one last longing glance at the place where the human had last been, and-

Wait. What was that?

He glided down to the oddly bright colored shape on the ground, landing a few feet away and glancing over his shoulder warily, suspecting a trap.

Nothing jumped out at him, though, and when he prodded the odd rounded rectangle, it didn’t do anything but sit there like a rock. He cautiously reached out to touch it, lifting it up into his arms and inspecting it closely in the dying sunlight.

It was lighter than he expected, more like an acorn than a rock, and made of a smooth blue material that certainly wasn’t wood or spidersilk cloth. He ran his thumb along the hard surface, finding a strange divot in it, and pressed his thumbs against the line. It gave slightly, and Logan grinned victoriously as the shell of the device cracked open to reveal… another smaller and more angled rectangle within.

He blinked at the shine of metal, wondering what in the world the purpose of such a tool could be. It wasn’t sharp enough to be a knife. Was it made to open something? Some kind of human key?

A low hoot echoed nearby, and Logan stiffened, squinting at the bramble nearby in the low light. Roman would be having a fit by now, and it was too dark to do more investigating anyhow.

Pulling the shell-cap loosely back into place over the metal, he ran a few feet and then took off, flitting between the trees back to the borough boundary lines.

Taking care to avoid the night patrol, he kept the human item tucked closely to him as he reached the small aspen that held his home in its trunk. Luckily, he lived fairly far from the crowded borough center, and nobody took note of him slipping quietly in through one of his ceiling entrances.

At least, that was what he thought until he touched down on his bedroom floor and heard someone clear their throat pointedly behind him. He whirled around, not entirely surprised to see his best friend standing there.

Roman was the son of the king and part of the guard, well-known and well-liked for his charming personality and looks alike. He had broad red hawk wings that flecked with gold whenever he cast enchantments, and many of their small town would sigh with longing or admiration whenever he passed by.

Logan wondered how many of them would still have crushes if they knew how much of a worrywart their prince was.

“Roman, what have I said about entering my home without permission?” he scolded automatically, his grip tightening on the item.

“Maybe I’ll actually listen to that when you start listening to the elder’s rules,” Roman shot back, his hands on his hips and his wings distinctly ruffled with his annoyance. He squinted at the bulky item in Logan’s arms. “What is that?”

“... A human artifact,” he admitted, already drawing himself up in defense of his prize. “I found it, and I intend to study it.”

“Oh, and I suppose that it was just laying around within borough limits, huh?” Roman scowled at him for a moment, before dragging a hand over his face. “Logan, you can’t keep doing this! We both know stealing from humans is dangerous.”

“I wasn’t stealing. The human left this behind,” Logan defended, turning away to set the device on the floor next to his bed.

“The human? As in, a particular one?” Roman’s voice went up a pitch, and Logan hid a wince.

“I meant whatever human left the device. There was no human in sight when I retrieved it, of course. I’m no fool, Roman.”

It was technically mostly the truth, but he was careful to keep the tips of his wings still anyhow, since they tended to flick around when he told lies. Roman sighed, looking caught up in his own thoughts.

“Right, of course.” It was the closest they got to apologies, admitting the other was right. “I just wish… maybe we could meet up and work on spellwork more often? It’d keep me from worrying about you, and I miss when I had a decent partner to spar with.”

Logan pulled his wings tight against his back, irritated by the guilt welling up inside him. “I’ve told you before that I cannot help you progress any further. I have imparted all I can in theory work, and you have already surpassed me in terms of casting, traditional and freeform. There is no sense in having me present to sit around uselessly when you are busy working on bigger and better things.”

“Oaks above, Lo.” Roman swore, ruffling his hands through his hair in frustration. “You’re not useless.”

“Of course I’m not,” Logan sniffed, staring intently at the device to avoid Roman’s gaze. “I am simply better suited to spend my time researching other matters to help the borough, namely the potential of human artifacts, regardless of what you or our mentor are so set on believing.”

“Ugh! I don’t know why I even bother when you never listen!” Roman groaned, hands dropping to his sides.

Logan scowled. “I am listening, and that’s why I know you’re being ridiculous. I don’t need to be under constant supervision. I can take care of myself.”

“Fine, then! Keep dropping feathers in wolf dens, see how long it takes for one to hunt you down.” Apparently fed up, Roman flared his wings up and launched himself upwards, exiting through the skylight. Dramatic as always.

Logan shook off his lingering unease with an absent flap of his wings. He refused to let himself linger on his friend’s ominous analogy, choosing to instead refocus on the mysterious item.

He would be fine. Humans weren’t wolves, anyways.

The next day, Logan found himself once again heading for the edge of the woods, the device strapped securely to his lower leg.

He’d spent hours fiddling with the thing, attempting to understand how it worked to no avail. He’d considered taking it apart by force or trying more dangerous experiments, but ultimately he only had the one, and he didn’t want to ruin something that could potentially be vital to proving his point about human tech.

At least, not before exhausting all his other options, which included seeing if the human had another one, and if Logan could catch a glimpse of him using it. It was a long shot, particularly since he wasn’t even sure if the human would return at all, let alone happen to use a duplicate of this item.

Still, he had to try, and so he spent a few hours staking out the treeline from the leafy branches above. Taking the odds into account, he hadn’t honestly expected the human to return, so he was more than surprised when the giant actually did appear, several hours earlier than the previous afternoon as well. He leaned in to watch as the human scoured the forest floor, holding a black box to his ear and speaking to it.

“No, I remember having it in my bag at the end of class, for sure. It has to be around here somewhere, because this is the only place I went between campus and home, and I already searched my whole car!” the human said, voice growing more distressed as he went on. There was a pause, faint sounds coming from the box. Logan wondered if it wasn’t some sort of communication device.

The human took a deep breath, settling down onto the dirt for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, she’s a very nice professor. If I explained, I’m sure I could get an extension to redo the work, but that’s not what I’m really worried about.” A sniffle. “That thumb drive isn’t my normal school one. It has a bunch of old family photos stored on it, and I don’t have them saved anywhere else. If I can’t find it…”

With a pause to take a deep, shuddery breath, the human managed to keep from crying. “I’m just going to keep searching, okay? It’s kind of windy, maybe it got blown a little ways away or something. Yeah, I promise to stay safe. Are you sure-? Okay. I’ll text you when I’m done here, then. Thank you… bye.”

Logan watched as the human took the box from his ear, tucking it away into his pocket and beginning to sweep his hands over the dirt again. Searching, Logan was fairly sure, for the device currently tied to him. He stuck his leg out to look at it, studying the size. It certainly didn’t match up with any of his body parts, but for the human… he supposed it was vaguely thumb-sized.

Thumb-sized but somehow containing something important to the human, something relating to his family. Logan felt a traitorous sting of guilt, which was ridiculous. It wasn’t as though he’d known the human would miss the item when he took it, not with its size. And there was no way he could return it now. Could he?

He supposed if he managed to place it just right… and maybe, if he was lucky, the human would do something with it to check that it still functioned, and Logan would finally have at least one question answered.

His desire to return the item was purely scientific. It had nothing to do with how the human had to take breaks from searching to push his glasses up and rub at his eyes with the back of his hands. Nothing at all.

His plan came together simply enough; the human was traveling from tree to tree in a line, apparently not sure which one he had sat under the day before. Logan remembered, of course, that it was the birch next to the log with the oyster mushroom colony, and knew that the human had already passed it. He flitted over to the birch in question, climbing down the branches until he was as low as he could get.

As soon as the human was a solid four trees away, he dropped to the ground, banking with his wings to slow his descent. He stumbled slightly upon meeting the dirt, and hurriedly ducked so the tree was between him and the human, heart pounding in his ears. He took a deep breath.

There was no reason to panic. Humans were dangerous, yes, but he wouldn’t have to deal with a human so long as he was smart. He was always smart, therefore, nothing to worry about.

Checking to make sure that the human was still occupied, he hurried over to a boulder entangled in the tree’s roots. It was prominent enough that the bright blue of the device’s shell should stand out noticeably against it. He carefully laid the device on top of the rock and then took off, returning to the treetops.

He was careful to conceal himself thoroughly in the branches, well aware that the human might find the sudden mysterious appearance of the ‘thumb drive’ suspicious. He certainly would, but he knew that humans were generally as ignorant as they were huge, so he wasn’t overtly worried.

The human continued to search further and further, enough so that Logan began to worry that he’d bypass the tree entirely on his way back, but luck was on his side. Shoulders drooping with defeat, the human turned around and headed back the way he’d come, only to stop dead at the sight of the thumb device sitting innocently atop a rock.

He blinked, and then rubbed at his eyes for a moment as though wondering if he was seeing things. The thumb device remained real, and he knelt to pick it up with a growing smile, opening the case to check the metal inside with ease.

In the next moment, his head snapped up to search the woods around him, and Logan was careful to remain completely still, not a feather out of place. As expected, the human didn’t spot anything, and Logan watched as he rose to his full height, feeling a small twinge of disappointment as the device disappeared into his pocket.

Unexpectedly, the human spoke. “To whoever is looking out for me, thank you very much!”

He placed a hand over his heart and did an odd little half-bow, eyes curious, and then waited a few moments before straightening again and beginning to walk back along the path out of the woods. As he left, he held that little black box up to his ear again and began to talk into it after a few moments’ delay.

“Virgil, I found it, I found it! I don’t know how, but I think a friend helped me…” Logan’s feathers ruffled slightly as the conversation continued outside his hearing range.

What a ridiculous human. It was almost a shame Logan would probably never see him again.

“Hello, little bird!” A cheerful voice called out, nearly making Logan topple off his perch.

He clung to the wood beneath him and peeked through the leaves, eyes widening in disbelief as he confirmed that it was, in fact, the human from before.

“I hope you don’t mind if I call you that, since we weren’t formally introduced!” the human continued, spreading a blanket along the ground in front of the birch to sit on. “My name is Patton Hart!”

He paused, and the only response was distant birdsong. Patton seemed undeterred.

“Well, little bird, I’ve deemed this area my lucky spot, so I hope it’s okay that I study here!” He pulled his strange color-changing rectangle out of his bag as he spoke, and Logan couldn’t help but lean forward with interest.

“Thankfully, I was able to turn my final in on time with the files from the thumb drive! It worked perfect, so thanks for keeping it safe for me!”

Logan perked up, immediately spotting the small blue thumb drive- or rather, half of it. The shell had been opened, and the metal part was plugged into the large rectangle. So it was a key!

He waited for the human to elaborate on how it worked, what it unlocked and what it’s purpose was in conjunction with the rectangle, but he seemed content to sit and work in silence. Logan opened his mouth, and then snapped it closed again. He may have broken many of the rules already, but this one would put more than just him at risk.

No, he couldn’t talk to the human… but he could listen.

Scolding himself for leaving his notebook at home, he settled in to watch the human study, noting certain patterns or phrases the human used whenever he started off on some random tangent addressed to “little bird”. As far as nicknames went, it was... tolerable.

What made the encounter even more interesting was that when the human packed up to leave, he left something behind again, this time on purpose, going by the “Freely given, little bird!” he had announced before leaving. Logan had spent a good while agonizing over whether or not to approach such an obvious trap, but in the end his curiosity won out.

When he dropped down to the ground to investigate, he found that a small, embroidered piece of cloth had been set out with a variety of objects on top. Some he dismissed easily, like the oversized human food- undoubtedly drugged or poisoned- and the simple carved toys, but others were more intriguing.

Of course, there was no way he could take anything back to his home, not now that the human was likely waiting for that exact thing. He couldn’t remain here to investigate either, seeing as the sun was setting and he could get… immersed in his work. Anything could sneak up on him.

Deciding on a compromise, he took the objects that interested him- a small white cylinder with an orange protrusion, and a band with a metal face- and carried them to a nearby abandoned woodpecker nest inside a sturdy trunk. Once they were safely tucked away, he resolved to study them in the morning and headed home.

His evenings were strangely quiet without Roman there to laugh and tease. The heir was still giving him the cold shoulder, not that Logan had done anything to rectify the situation. Having Roman keep an eye on him would make his daily excursions all the more difficult. That was all that mattered.

The next morning was spent fiddling frustratedly with the items he’d taken, trying to understand how the switch triggered flickering light, what the light was meant to do. It wasn’t near warm enough to burn, so was it simply a light source? It was so dull that he’d need several to properly light up his room, let alone a human home.

The face of the band was no better, covered in symbols that clearly held some sort of meaning, and moving parts that continued unpausing in a cycle around the center of the symbols. It reminded him vaguely of a sundial’s rotations, but he had no way to guess the meaning of the human writing.

When he went to see how the human reacted, however, he found that not only was he completely unconcerned by the missing items, but even enthusiastic to see what had been taken.

“Are you a curious one, little bird?” he asked, carefully clearing the other objects away. “That little fake candle and the watch… I guess you’re light on time, huh?”

Logan watched as his human grinned brightly without explaining his words at all, and bemoaned the fact that he’d gotten a human that spoke in riddles. At least he knew what the items were called.

The next day, his human left more objects, none of them wooden toys. He wondered if maybe the human was conducting an experiment of his own, with how what he brought seemed to build off the few that Logan selected to take. Excluding the food, which was always replaced with new food despite the fact that he’d never touched it.

His hidden nook got crowded quickly, and he expanded it to a few other trees, careful to keep the precious items safe from rain or mold.

His curiosity about his human also grew with each passing day, learning small things about him from his daily chattering. He was going to college, which was what he was studying for, and he lived with another human named Virgil. He was incredibly forgetful, and whenever he forgot an item, he would politely request it back and then count down from sixty with his back turned and his hands covering his eyes.

The first time he did this, he was sorely disappointed, seeing as there was no way Logan would fall for such a trap, not even when baited by Patton calling him shy, which he most certainly was not.

The next day, however, found his human delighted by the return of his ‘keychain,’ and Logan continued to tell himself that he was simply being practical, since the item had no discernible use. His human’s smile had nothing to do with it.

Eventually, he started to get sloppy. When things were too large, he snuck them back home. When Patton lost his keys and did his customary turn-around-and-count gesture, he dropped them from the trees and fluttered barely a safe distance away to watch him reclaim them. Worst of all, he became… almost relaxed in Patton’s presence.

This lapse in caution was the only explanation he had for what happened next.

He had been running late, held up by one of his teacher’s lectures, and so cut through a swath of trees nearer to the road in order to arrive at their customary meeting spot.

Once he got close, he spotted something glinting in the grass. Normally, he’d assume it was another stray bit of litter and move on, but with Patton, one never knew when the human would accidentally lose something, or where. He sighed and dipped down to land, squinting at the… wire? Next to a pile of sunflower seeds?

Distracted as he was by the unnatural sight, he didn’t notice the top netted part of the trap until it slammed down on top of him, triggered by the shifting plate underneath his feet.

The impact knocked all the air from his lungs, leaving him wheezing and thrashing weakly under the mesh. He forced himself through a breathing pattern, over and over until it no longer felt like he was choking on nothing. His overwhelming panic calmed momentarily, he shoved against the trap with his wings, grunting in frustration when the bound edges of the net didn’t even budge.

There was no question about it. This had to be a human trap, and he didn’t want to be in it when the human came to collect.

A bit more desperately, he wrapped his hands around the edges of the trap’s thick wiring and pried at it, cursing when his foot slipped and plunged through the holes in the bottom netting.

Before he could wrench it free, he felt a distant, rhythmic rumble in the ground. It grew louder and closer, and a chill ran down his spine as his movements became frantic.

As soon as the giant boots creating the noise stepped into view, his whole body froze up, as though back in the clearing on the first day Patton showed up.

Seeing a human from the ground was so much worse. His body began to tremble uncontrollably as the human approached the trap with easy steps, each one heavy enough to trample him into dust.

The stranger was wearing a dusky camo jacket and bristle across his jaw, but Logan’s attention was entirely riveted on the long, serrated hunting knife in his hand.

“Shh, little thing. You’ll be f-- what…”

Logan heard the exact moment the man realized that he hadn’t caught a bird, and he resisted the urge to curl into a ball and hide behind his wings as a huge gloved hand approached. It gathered the netting of the trap up into a makeshift bag with him stuck in the center. Logan writhed against the hold, his breathing becoming quick and shallow once again as he stared at the knife.

“Easy, little thing,” the hunter muttered absently, turning his hand this way and that to see Logan’s ensconced form better. “What are you?”

Logan shuddered at the fascination in his eyes, pushing out against the net despite the fact that there was no way he could beat those massive fingers.

His silence cracked as soon as those same digits pinched down roughly on his wing, spreading it to its full wingspan.

“Agh! Let go!” he yelled, body shaking as the muscles in his shoulder were overextended. The man released him, more out of surprise than anything else.

“You can talk? Incredible!” The man prodded at him again. “Go on, say something else.”

Logan opened his mouth to say something that he would likely regret, but a different voice spoke first. A familiar one.

“Hello? Is someone over here?” Patton asked, pushing a low branch out of his way as he peered over at the hunter.

The hunter jumped, and for a second Logan believed he’d be shoved in a pocket, but the man seemed to decide showing off took precedence. He held Logan out slightly, net and all. “Take a look at this!”

Patton stepped closer, the furrow in his brow growing as his gaze fell onto Logan. His body vibrated harder with terror, betraying him easily at the sight of two humans looking at him.

“Um, did you… catch him?” Patton asked, voice hesitant.

The hunter barely seemed to notice. “Sure did… I was trying for-- well, it doesn’t matter, this is better. I think it can imitate human speech!”

Logan felt another shudder run through him, and Patton’s soft brown eyes found his.

“I think… I think you should let him go,” Patton blurted, surprising all of them. He drew himself up, nodding once. “You’re not supposed to be hunting here at all, anyhow.”

The hunter’s grip on Logan tightened, and a strangled whine escaped his throat without his permission. “Man, you actually pay attention to that conservation notice? This place is abandoned, park rangers haven’t checked on it in years. Finders, keepers as far as I’m concerned.”

“That doesn’t apply to people that can talk!” Patton protested, stepping closer with his hands lifted placatingly. “Look, just let him out, okay? I won’t report you to the authorities if you take your traps and leave.”

The hunter snorted, gesturing vaguely with his knife. “Yeah, right. I’m a careful guy. They’re not going to find anything that I don’t want them to find, and with the money that this,” he lifted Logan slightly, “will bring in, I won’t have to worry about cops anyways.

“You don’t have any leverage over me, so turn around and mind yourself before you get in trouble,” the hunter finished, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. Logan, ironically enough, felt a thrum of panic at leaving the other human behind. He wasn’t entirely sure that two bickering humans were better than one malignant one, but it certainly felt that way at the moment.

Footsteps thumped loudly behind them, and the hunter whirled on his heel in time for Patton to catch both his wrists, Logan grunting as he was tossed about in the net.

“What are you--?”

“Let him go, now!” Patton was frowning, arms visibly straining with the effort it took to keep the other man’s hands still. Logan stared down at the dizzying drop beneath him, wondering if it would kill him on impact if he was dropped now.

“You little--!” The hunter pried his knife-wielding hand free, and Logan watched as Patton swung his now unoccupied hand back and slammed it against the side of the hunter’s head, cupped right over his ear.

The man cried out and fell back, his grip on the net loosening, and Logan felt as though he was near heart failure as a new pair of hands gently closed around him, prying the trap away from the hunter.

Patton - for who else could it be - brought his hands close to his chest and bolted, making everything around Logan bounce rhythmically. He eventually pressed close to one of those large palms and clung to the edge of a finger, his head aching with the abrupt motions. He’d been ‘rescued’ from one human, but now he was securely in the hands of another.

No matter what Patton said, he was still a human. It had to be some sort of trap, some long con that he was trying and failing not to fall for.

The movements came to a stop with one final thud as Patton’s knees hit the ground, breathing heavily. Moments later, the hands surrounding him cracked open like a bird’s egg, sunlight pouring in.

Above him, Patton was flushed with exertion, and he was still breathing deep as he spoke. “Are you okay, little bird?”

His face creased with concern as Logan stared up at his giant features, body frozen like a deer before a mountain lion. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, I swear. It’s gonna be okay.”

It was a ridiculous claim for a human to make, but he found himself relaxing fractionally anyhow.

“I’m gonna- um, take this off of you, okay? I’m gonna get you out of there, don’t worry.” Patton shifted him delicately to one palm, wincing at the way Logan’s wings flapped ineffectively, and began to carefully pry the net open. The trap which had given him so much trouble was barely an obstacle for a human. Logan shifted uncomfortably as Patton untangled it.

“How- how did you know?” he asked, since his mouth had never known when to stay quiet. To Patton’s credit, he didn’t even blink at the question or the tiny winged person it had come from.

“It was just a guess!” Patton offered, a grimace crossing his face briefly. “I normally feel like I’m being watched when I’m out in that clearing, but today there was nothing, so… I got worried. Oh, unless you’re asking about the ear clap. My best friend signed me up for a self-defense class, because I… uh, ‘have a marshmallow heart’ and I’m ‘exceedingly liable to get into trouble,’ allegedly.”

It felt like a fairly accurate assessment.

“There we go,” Patton managed, finally getting the net completely open. Logan bolted for the exit before he could change his mind, spreading his wings as soon as he was in the open air and gaining some distance before turning.

Patton hadn’t moved from his spot. He was smiling, bright like his smiles when Logan helped him, and Logan couldn’t help but flutter a bit closer and return the gesture, so grateful for this strange, kind human.

“Glad… I’m glad you’re okay,” Patton said, and then winced, a hand dropping to his side.

When he pulled his hand away, it was glistening with blood. They both blinked at it for a moment, smiles faltering, and then Logan followed his gaze down to where a dark stain was spreading slowly through his shirt and jacket. He realized suddenly that Patton, one hand busy keeping Logan secure and the other busy boxing the hunter’s ear, hadn’t gotten away from the man unscathed.

In the process of rescuing him, his human had been stabbed.

“Oh,” Patton said weakly, and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell into a dead faint.

#g/t #giant/tiny #sanders sides #secret sanders sized 2019 #avian #ts logan #ts patton #writing #my writing #secret santa gift #roseof-alltrades3 #waaah i hope you like it!#bird borrowers #a mourning dove #amd

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