#to check in with him even from afar
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Thinking about how in the funeral scene, Tommy is in perfect Buck Watching Position

#thinkin about how tommy’s eyes will naturally drift to buck#instinctually needing to know here’s still there#that he is safe#to check in with him even from afar#to be ready if he needs him#etc etc#bucktommy#911 abc#911 spoilers#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911#tevan#911 speculation#lou ferrigno jr#oliver stark#oli posts
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by the way im like nearly halfway through season three of mob psycho and I see what the serizawa/reigen people are on now. like yeah you know what i do think two cripplingly lonely probably definitely gay guys in their early thirties would end up with Something happening if you put them in a room together for long enough. don’t get me wrong i honestly think it would suck at least a little bit, but there’s Something There, i hear you. there is a possibility of me getting more invested depending on how they interact in the future…there’s Stuff here i need to like place them next to each other and observe them. put them in like a petri dish.
#also I know reigens like what. 29? but serizawa’s exactly 30 I think and like#yeah that’s on the Edge of early thirties but like. they pass the vibe check.#lemon speaks#OH ON THE OTHER HAND whatever the fuck ritsu and sho have going on is very entertaining#Like what do you Mean you told him he looked good in a maid dress and said it Like That like..?#sho do you have something???? to say???????#not even mentioning him practically seeing ritsu from afar and being like. you. I like you.#for seemingly no reason other than…he…seemed…interesting???#that just stinks of ‘oh he kinda cute let’s see what’s happening over there’ like I dunnooo#fascinating#you know my only critique abt this show is that I do really wish there was more women#I need yuri to complement my yaoi#like a charcuterie board#serirei#yeah I’m not tagging this with like anything else I’m too scared
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I play a new game. I look at a new man.
#NOT in a f/o way. yet. just looking at him in a faggy way from afar.#you can be faggy about characters without f/o-ing them#game isn't even out yet !!!#I just think it's fun when men are a little bit deranged or whatever ♡#roz posts#crush tag#hi past roswell. check this out:#♡: 🔨🎰🥃
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the world when you're with me

synopsis: you seek out sylus for comfort after realizing you were wrong about him.
tags: comfort, fluff, implied avoidant!reader learns to trust sylus, implied avoidant!reader clings to sylus, sylus takes care of reader from afar, sylus has mephisto and the twins follow reader but wbk pairing: sylus x reader, reader is mostly mc word count: 802
a/n: is this the peak of literature? no. did i need to write it after the day i had? yes. did i need to post it today? no, because i’m trying to stagger my posts more, but here we are. anyway 4k caleb pwp coming tomorrow

For the first few weeks after you’d infiltrated the N109 Zone, you’d avoided Sylus Qin like the plague.
After being scared out of your wits by the first version of him you'd met—the cold, unavailable criminal mastermind who’d forced you to shoot him within 5 minutes of knowing one other—you were unashamedly wary of working with him again.
But Sylus’s intel was unrivaled. More and more often, you found yourself visiting the N109 Zone to meet with him, eventually not even bothering to book a place to stay. There was always a guest room at the Onychinus base prepped for your arrival.
As you spent more time with Sylus, he’d noticeably changed his approach to interacting with you. Rather than forcing you to resonate with him, he’d explained to you how his Evol worked, letting you aim his hands at some training dummies to test it out yourself. Instead of unceremoniously shutting you out when he was tired, he’d drag his robe-and-slippers-clad self to sit beside you on the sofa, answering your cautious questions by practically giving away all his secrets.
His shift in attitude hadn't stopped there. Sylus had clearly been using that endearingly incorrigible crow to keep tabs on you, but for the strangest reasons.
Whenever you had a bad day at work, some building-wide maintenance emergency would magically appear, forcing your team to cease operations for the rest of the day. He’d text you a couple hours after your early dismissal, saying he was in the city and inviting you on an evening joyride to clear your head.
The day after you’d lugged a case of water up the stairs to your apartment, having to pause a couple times to catch your breath, you came home to see your fridge mysteriously stocked with groceries. The only traces left behind were the masked twin figures you spotted scurrying away from your window.
When a new phone showed up at your doorstep one day—you never even told him you’d shattered your screen, you thought—you’d decided that Sylus wasn’t as bad as you’d once assumed. Not anywhere near as bad, in fact. He was thoughtful, generous, and helped you without taking credit or forcing you to ask for it. You’d never had that before.
Which is why, somehow, you find yourself standing in the doorway of his armory, studying him silently as he polishes an antique-looking gun.
When he notices you, Sylus looks up, raising a delicately arched eyebrow. “Something wrong, kitten?” he drawls, subtly checking your body for injuries.
Mind numb from your absolutely dreadful day, you stay silent while Sylus looks at you expectantly, his hands forgetting their earlier task.
But for the next minute, you remain hovering in the doorway. You expect him to get annoyed—you almost want him to, so you have an excuse to go back to relying only on yourself—but all you see on Sylus’s face is patience.
When you start shuffling toward him, that patience mixes with a glimmer of anticipation that he visibly tries to suppress. You need him to be calm right now—an anchor, he thinks. If he loses his composure, if he startles you with his excitement at your approach, you might bolt at any moment.
Sometime during his inner struggle, you reach him. Meekly, you stand before his chair, briefly opening your mouth before closing it.
“What is it, sweetie?” he asks softly. “Tell me, and we can figure it out together. I’ll personally track down whoever seems to have stolen your words from you.”
At his offer, you break, collapsing into his lap. His large, warm hands immediately encircle your waist, and you bury your face into his neck, inhaling his leather and spice cologne.
“Aw,” he coos in his baritone voice, rocking you slowly in his embrace. When he lifts your head an inch, you resist, letting out a soft whine. Gently, he guides your head back to his chest, his quickening heartbeat thumping in your ears and grounding you in the the moment.
After several moments of silence, your deep, shuddering breaths the only interruptions, Sylus murmurs into your ear. “When I noticed you never ask for help, I was worried the world may not be treating as well as it should. You must be very tired, hmm?” he asks, rubbing his chin against your hair.
Tightening your arms around him, you sit there for a while, his steady breaths seeming to mend a decades-long rift in your heart.
The next time Sylus tries to lift your head, you let him. He pulls your face from his neck so he can look into your eyes, hoping his gaze conveys his sincerity, before pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
“You don’t need the world when you’re with me,” he promises. “I’ll treat you better than it ever could.”
#iris writes#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads x reader#love and deepspace comfort#love and deepspace fluff#lnds#sylus qin#lads fluff#lads comfort#lads sylus#lnds sylus
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Can you please write type of guy headcanons for dae ho and gi hun 🥺? Thank you ❤️
THE KIND OF GUY
(squid game edition boys) nsfw
Dae ho / Player 388
— DAE HO IS THE KIND OF GUY who radiates warmth and loyalty, like a golden retriever. When Dae ho saw you effortlessly take down the two bullies harassing someone else, his eyes gleamed with admiration, captivated by your strength and resolve. As the crowd erupted in applause, he couldn’t help but feel an even deeper respect for you. In that moment, you earned not only their admiration but his as well. (His crush on you was developing gradually.)
—He's the kind of guy who blushes whenever you're near, his nerves getting the best of him as he stammers while talking to you, laughing awkwardly. It's all because you're so sweet to him—and to everyone else, too! He can't help but adore that about you.
—He’s the kind of guy who genuinely wants to get to know you better, not just the surface-level details, but the little things that make you who you are. He asks questions with true curiosity, listens intently, and cherishes every story you share. To him, understanding you isn’t just about filling in gaps—it’s about building a connection that goes beyond the ordinary.
—He’s the kind of guy who secretly gives you his food. One day, after returning from your bed, you noticed some milk on it. Curiosity piqued, you wondered who could have left it there, but hey, free milk, right? So you drank it. If he saw you enjoying it, he'd be totally happy inside, his heart warming at the thought of you drinking it. But if you didn’t, and instead gave it to someone else, he'd feel a little sad, pouting as he quietly watched from afar.
— He’s the type of guy who daydreams about you even in his sleep, a soft smile playing on his lips as he imagines taking you out on a date, giving you flowers, and writing you heartfelt letters. He’s kind and sweet, but also shy around you.
— He’s the type of guy who supports you wholeheartedly, cheering you on through every victory. He wishes and prays that you’ll make it through the next game, and when you do, his heart swells with happiness. He desperately wants to run up to you, hug you tightly, and lift you off the ground, spinning you in the air while admiring you. But his nerves hold him back. Instead, he smiles shyly from a distance, watching as others celebrate your success, his joy quietly battling with his anxiety as he longs to be the one to congratulate you.
—He’s the kind of guy who admires you from afar, his heart skipping a beat every time you smile. When you're talking with your teammates, he can't help but stare at you lovingly, a soft smile creeping onto his face. But when Jung Bae notices his smile and asks about it, he panics, nervously brushing it off as nothing. If Jung Bae catches on to who he's looking at, he’d tease him, leaving him blushing and flustered, unable to hide his feelings.
— He’s also the kind of guy who would protect you no matter the cost. One night, when it was time to sleep, he stayed watch over you, ensuring your safety. In the process, he nearly put himself in danger, but managed to take care of the threat. Just as he thought it was over, he noticed someone about to ambush you from behind. Without hesitation, he shouted your name.
“Y/n!” he called out, grabbing your attention. As you turned to face him, he ran toward you, tackling you to the ground just in time to shield you from a knife aimed at your back. He placed a protective hand on your head, his heart pounding in his chest.
After dealing with the person who tried to harm you, he was consumed with worry, his concern for you evident in every glance. His hands trembled as he checked for any injuries, his eyes scanning your body for bruises. When he finally saw you were okay, relief washed over him, and he couldn’t help but smile, saying softly, “I’m glad you’re alright, Y/n.”
— He’s the kind of guy who, when you're speaking to him, finds it hard to hear anything at all. You're simply glowing, and he's so completely lost in admiration for you, smiling without even realizing it. When a strand of your hair falls across your face, he can't help but gently tuck it behind your ear. The moment you look up at him, his heart skips a beat, and he suddenly becomes acutely aware of what he’s done. Flustered, he starts to stutter out a flurry of excuses, his nervousness betraying him. But all you do is laugh softly, calling him "cute." That single, simple word sends his heart into a frantic race, leaving him breathless and unable to shake the warmth spreading through him.
—He’s the kind of guy who would go to any length to protect you, even if it means hurting the people who’ve hurt you. He’ll keep going until his fists bleed, unable to stop because his care for you runs so deep. He doesn’t want to see you in pain, and his love for you pushes him to act without thinking of the consequences. Even when you beg him to stop, he’s torn, unable to hold back the intensity of his emotions. But deep down, you know that right? That he just cares for you more than anything.
—He’s the kind of guy who’ll do whatever it takes to cheer you up when you’re feeling down. When you're crying, he'll be right there, comforting you with soft, reassuring words like, "I’ll be here for you," and "It’s okay, everything’s going to be alright." He’ll pull you into his arms, wrapping you in a warm embrace, rubbing your back gently as he holds you close, offering a quiet strength that makes you feel safe. His presence is enough to ease the weight on your heart, as he promises to always be there for you, no matter what.
—He’s the kind of guy who, when in love, will sneakily try to get closer to you, even if it means "accidentally" bumping into people in the crowd. Just being near you makes him happy, and the slightest touch from you sends a thrill through him. If your eyes meet by accident, he’ll hold your gaze for a second, but then quickly look away, his face turning bright red with embarrassment. When he tries to glance at you again and you catch him, his heart races uncontrollably. He’s sure he even heard you chuckle, and in that moment, he can’t handle it anymore—embarrassed and flustered, he tries to hide in the shadows, wishing he could escape how you make him feel. (You have no idea how much you’re making him nervous.)
—He’s the kind of guy who would shower your face with kisses, making you giggle and laugh, completely captivated by the joy he brings. He’s also the type who’s hopeless at flirting, but he still gives it a shot, despite knowing he’s not great at it. When he catches you staring into his eyes, his confidence crumbles, and he can’t find his words, stammering as his mind goes blank. And when you laugh, a soft, teasing chuckle, it only makes him more flustered, his heart racing as he awkwardly tries to recover, unable to stop the warmth spreading across his face. (ARGEUWHRAHHH)
— When he's in a relationship with you, he's the kind of guy who'll ask for a good luck kiss before every game you play together.
—He’s the kind of guy you’ll wake up to, his comforting voice gently pulling you from your sleep. “Good morning, baby,” he’ll say, his smile already softening his features. “Morning, sunshine,” or “Good morning, sweetheart, did you sleep well?” he’ll ask, his voice warm and full of affection as he watches you slowly wake up.
—He’s the kind of guy who would tenderly kiss the places you’re most insecure about, as if to remind you of how beautiful you truly are. He’s the one who won’t stop kissing you, pulling you back every time you try to pull away, as if he can’t let go of the warmth you bring.
—He’s also the kind of guy who craves you in the purest, most innocent ways. He craves the chance to say goodnight and press a soft kiss to your forehead, to tell you how much he adores you, especially when you feel at your lowest. He doesn’t need anything more or less—just being near you, sharing quiet moments together, is all he could ever want.
—He’s the kind of guy who kisses you slowly, with so much passion that it feels like time itself has paused. To him, every moment matters, and he wants to make it last—pressing his lips softly against yours, savoring the closeness. His eyes remain closed, his hands resting firmly on your waist as he pulls you closer, as if he can’t bear to let go. When he finally pulls away, his gaze locks with yours, filled with love so deep it leaves you breathless. And just when you think it’s over, he leans in to kiss you again.
—He’s the kind of guy who would stay outside your house all night the moment you mentioned your parents weren’t home. You said it in a teasing, seductive tone, hoping he’d catch the hint—but instead, his protective instincts took over completely. Without a second thought, he made it his mission to ensure your safety. The cool breeze and late hours didn’t faze him; his only focus was making sure nothing could harm you.
—He’s the kind of guy who values your comfort above all else, always asking for your consent to ensure you’re at ease. When you overstimulate him, soft whines and gasps escape his lips, his breathing uneven as he tries to handle the intensity. He’s incredibly careful, his fear of hurting you evident in the way he constantly checks in, asking if you’re okay. If you show even the slightest discomfort, he immediately stops, gently comforting you with soothing words and touches. Only when you’re ready does he proceed, moving slowly and tenderly.
—He’s the kind of guy who would be endlessly obedient for you, hanging on your every word just to make you happy. When you call him a “good boy,” his cheeks flush a soft pink, and he can’t help but feel a swell of pride, as if earning your praise is the greatest accomplishment. The way he gets all shy and bashful in response only makes the moment sweeter.
—He’s also the kind of guy who whispers a breathless “please” when you tease him, his voice trembling with both desperation and longing. When you refuse to let him cum, he’ll keep pleading, his tone growing needier, begging you to finally let him release cum since you've been edging him for hours straight.
—He’s the kind of guy who moans a lot and would be needy for you. Like he's breathy and full of unrestrained moans as pleasure overwhelms him. His voice, low and husky, spills out between gasps as he murmurs how good you feel. For example.
In the cramped confines of a public bathroom stall, he tries desperately to not make a sound. His trembling hand rests on your head, fingers tangling in your hair. He was desperately trying to keep quiet, not wanting anyone outside the stall to discover what you were doing. But you decided to tease him, to push him just a little further. Holding his gaze, you slowly ran your tongue over the tip of his cock, maintaining eye contact that had him on the verge of losing all composure.
“Baby, please...” he begged, his tone barely audible but dripping with raw desperation. His hips bucked slightly, seeking more friction, his body betraying how badly he needed release.
You smirked, letting your lips hover over his slick, aching member, your warm breath teasing his already overstimulated skin. “Hm? What’s that?” you teased, maintaining a deliberate slowness. “You’ll have to speak up.”
His head fell back, and a quiet whine escaped him, “I can’t—please, I need it so bad baby, please let me cum... Want you. I want you so bad.” he whimpered, the faint sound of his soft, needy whines filled the stall, his breathing uneven and ragged as he clung to what little composure he had left. His head tilted back against the wall, his lips parted, and his cheeks flushed as he whimpered softly.
His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, his flushed face and sweat-dampened skin making him look utterly undone. The way he squirmed and whimpered under your control had you tempted to keep teasing him, but his broken whispers and the raw adoration in his eyes made you relent.
"hng...—oh fuck," he gasped, his breath uneven as you gave in at last. "Your mouth feels so good baby, so damn perfect, fuck keep going just like that baby." His praise spilled out uncontrollably, barely coherent as you pushed him closer and closer to the edge.
—Hes also the kind of guy who cries during sex. (Something about men crying is just hgnngjdhe)
“Baby, please stop..” he whimpered, his voice trembling with the weight of his plea. “It’s too much… please, it’s too much.” His hands weakly gripped your waist, trying to stop you, but his body trembled with each movement, and yet there was no escape from the overwhelming pleasure.
“Aww, sweetie,” you cooed, not slowing down. “Just one more round, mkay? I know You can handle it for me."
“N-no, please… it’s too much… I don’t think I can…take it,” he said, his tear-filled eyes locking with yours, his flushed face streaked with the weight of his emotions. The sight of him so vulnerable made your heart ache, and without hesitation, you gently wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks with the pad of your thumb.
“Aww, don’t cry my love,” you whispered softly, your voice tender as you leaned in, brushing your lips against his forehead. “You’re my good boy, right? You’re doing so well for me. Just a little more, baby.”
“Fine… just one more.” he said, his voice soft and shaky. The way he melted under your touch, still willing to give more despite how overwhelmed he felt. (You made him cum multiple times 🫶🏻)
I decided to do dae ho first cuz he cute(≧▽≦) HAPPY NEW YEAR
#squid game smut#squid game x reader#squid game fanfic#squid game#dae ho x reader#dae ho#smut#fanfic#squid game season 2#x reader#kang dae ho#headcanon#player 388
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imagine soft bunny girl wanting to play a silly little prank on sugar daddy!dilf john price by paying for the check. only an harmless little prank, nothing serious, right?
not for him. as an old fashioned gentleman, he wouldn’t take that well. he’d never let you pay for a single thing, you’re his sugar baby after all (his unconventionally too young girlfriend)
let’s say you’re on a date. restaurant, sweet treat break, anything you’d like, and when you’re done, you stand up in your frilly little skirt, glossed lips, strawberry and vanilla perfume that swirls around him when you lean down to kiss him on the corner of his mouth, right above that mustache you go crazy for.
“be right back sir, lady needs” you use the bathroom excuse, he gruffs out a “aight doll” but instead of heading to the toilet, you secretly go pay. innocent, naive little bunny, you think he’s gonna laugh at that, find it hilarious.
little does he know, you slip to the front and quickly pay the bill, before slipping to the toilet.
but after you actually hop to the bathroom, he stands up. broad shoulders, straight, imposing stance that exudes confidence, pure masculinity that stretches like leather with every step he takes, a cigar that’s not lit yet hanging from his mouth.
he doesn’t say a word, leisurely takes his wallet off the back pocket of his expensive suit jacket and proceeds to hand the card to the waiter, who, cluelessly, just smiles at him,
“the bill has already been paid, sir”
john blinks, once, then twice, maybe his ears are starting to play on him, given his seasoned age. he’s not sure he’s heard that right. so he mutters a rough “ ‘scuse me?”
“yes, the lady who’s here with you paid earlier”
those words feel wrong in his head, unwelcome. he wants to spit them out, but he’s always a man of undeterred and outmost control, composure. only the way his jaw clenches underneath his thick beard, salt and pepper like the mixed thoughts running in his mind, says otherwise.
he doesn’t how how long he remains still like that, buff muscles somehow becoming thicker, building a stonelike wall that prevents the boiling fire within him to flow outside. unmoving, like the endless times spent eyeing the target from afar, waiting like a statue for the perfect moment to bounce on them.
feigned stoicism and broodiness decor his mature face, as he tucks his wallet back inside his pocket with more strength that before — he nods to the waiter, and waits for you outside. when you come back, careless, sugary bunny that hops close to her brown bear, unaware of the way she’s offended his sense of manliness, you grab his hand with both of yours, smiling sweetly, blinking your long lashes. “we can go sir”
“what did you do, doll?” his rough tone should’ve made you halt, but you, sweet soul, think that his usual half, lazy smile is going to appear on his mustache. you shrug, like it’s nothing, really, giggling playfully soft.
“treated you for once,”
he’s gonna find it funny, you thought.
but he doesn’t.
“did i give you permission to do that?”
your smile falters. you blink, bunnies are slow in their movements when they’re processing their surroundings. but then, they haste.
“what? oh, no, but i just wanted to pay for once. it was a j—“
“get in the car, now.”
oh no. you hope you didn’t ruin your date with your little prank. it was supposed to be harmless, just a mere little thing to take him off guard. but—
“it’s fine, you always pay, sir, i thought you’d find it funny that i paid for once” you try to justify yourself, but he doesn’t laugh. his characteristic authority and intimidating nature comes out, a second skin that fits him perfectly.
“i said get in the car, doll, don’t make me repeat myself again, angel”
and when you do arrive home, you don’t even have time to take off your heels. you’ve always been a good girl, obedient, well mannered. you never disobeyed him once.
he never had to punish you for anything.
you squint when he pats his thigh, sitting on the edge of your bed. the rustling of his leather belt being unbuckled. manspreading his legs, he invites you.
”how much did you pay?” his voice could cut on stone, deep, low and husky.
you almost shiver, poor bunny, you keep your eyes down, fidgeting with your hands,
“and don’t lie to me, sweetheart. i can check your account.”
your mumble is almost a mute one as you whisper ”sixty, sir”
his hand looks large, heavy, you knows it’s gonna leave red marks on your butt, as red as your flushing cheeks. ”good. gonna keep count until half of it, come here, princess, thirty spanks, and then you’re gonna be my good girl all over again. understood?”
“but—“
“not mad at you, princess. you’re still my good girl. you didn’t mean to misbehave, daddy knows that. but actions have consequences, angel, even if it was well meant and intentioned, now,”
he patted his thigh again, and you swallowed, docile eyes downturned.
“don’t make me wait, have to put those money back in your account”
#john price#john price x f!reader#john price x female reader#captain price x female reader#john price imagine#call of duty#john price smut#john price cod#cod modern warfare#cod imagine#daddy! john price
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❝ BOY NEXT DOOR! rafe is a prick. you hated him, but he certainly loved you. ❞ ▄▀▄▀▄
boy next door! rafe becomes infatuated with you once your family moves in next to the cameron household. rafe is the “bad son” of ward, and you kept your distance from him.
you were just trying to get through university with your new friends and learn your way around the new town you live in. your parents traveled a lot for their work, and your sibling was away for their own work; so you kept the house clean and did whatever you wanted whenever your parents decided to leave the house. (which was practically every other month)
rafe watched you for weeks, and weeks turned into months with his eyes watching how your parents leave for weeks then return to only do it over and over again. ward and rose became buddy-buddy with your own parents; rose inviting your mother to fancy dinners, gifting them rose’s homemade bread during thanksgiving and fresh fruit and vegetables during christmas, and ward invited your father to golf outings.
bottom line is; you began to detest rafe, and rafe began to get obsessed with you.
when he got the chance, he teased you and he made your live a little more annoying. he always “checked” up on you (more like annoying you whenever you checked the mail or took out the trash or mowed the lawn) and made sure to be the best person he could— even though you knew damn well behind the smiles and “sir” and “ma’am’s” was a prick who teased you and wasn’t shy about how he felt about you, you’d sometimes see his eyes peeking on you through his blinds when you’d undress… he wasn’t slick and he knew you knew that.
would it be bad to say you were slowly warming up to him? maybe. you didn’t know when it began, but your feelings slowly began to change about the cameron boy…
but to hell if you were going to admit it to rafe.
your mother and father were going to vegas for their wedding anniversary, and rafe being rafe, he started to ask your parents if he could “help” them with their lawn as they’re gone.
“I think your daughter could handle it! but sometimes you need a little help, Y’know?” you’d hear that sentence every single time rafe caught your father on the porch.
your father and mother thought about it, and after a week of silent deliberation; they hired rafe, to help take care of the lawn and plants during the three week anniversary trip.
the first week wasn’t that bad. you went to school, hanging out with friends and doing things around the house like refilling your pet’s food bowls and folding laundry when a fresh batch finished. you kept the inner house clean, pilling up the mail for your mother and father to go through when they get home, and you kept the house locked up at night.
rafe meanwhile kept checking on you, cleaning the lawn every fucking day and doing shit your father said he’d do months ago. you didn’t know if he was trying to impress you, himself, or your parents.
sometimes you’d invite him in, mainly because he sat on your porch swing until you answered the door, or because you felt bad for the prick, but he kept his distance (even if you could feel his hand sliding down your back, or his gaze becoming a lot more than just a friendly gaze)
when your panties began to disappear from your drawer, you had an idea in your mind on who did it but you never confronted him.
when you’d see his eyes peering to your ass while you finished putting the dishes away from your dishwasher after the dinner rafe made for you two, you never let him know.
sometimes when he peered through his blinds at night, and you kept your curtain opened a little on accident, he stroked his thick dick watching you rub your little cunt to a shitty porn video on your laptop. you could always sense another pair of eyes on you from afar, but never thought too much about it.
you didn’t hear him one night. you didn’t hear him coming through the back door downstairs, but you certainly began to smell his shitty cologne that probably costed more than it needed to.
he walked in on you, right as you got to the best part of the porn scene you were watching on your laptop you used for school… and he couldn’t help but be a good neighbor and help out.
here he was, with your back against his chest, his baseball tee brushing against your back as three of his thick fingers pumped in and out of you, licking the inner parts of your ear as he forced you to continue to watch the video you were watching.
“feel good, baby?” his hot breath brushed against your ear, making you shiver as his middle, ring, and pointer fingers pumped in and out of you, his thumb touching your vulva.
you nod, soft moans leaving your mouth. “f-fuck… ‘yea… so good.” you moan. you couldn’t help yourself, really, giving into the cameron son.
he smiles like the bastard he is, watching the video with you, watching as the guy fucks the girl in doggy, her ass jiggling with each thrust of the guy’s hips. the wet sounds were absolutely amazing, mixing in with your and rafe’s own sounds from his fingers and your sobbing pussy.
“r-rafe… rafe… oh god.” you whine, grinding against his thick fingers. you hated how you easily came apart for him. you really did.
he’s making you so much closer than your own fingers ever did.
he curled his fingers deliciously, rubbing against your walls with his fingertips as he brought you closer to the edge. “yeah? you close? you wanna cum all over my fingers like a good slut?”
again, you can only nod with intense enthusiasm. “yes, yes, yes… gonna cum! gonna cum all over ‘our fingers…!” your words slur, drool dropping on your chin.
rafe goes faster, his hand moving at a fast pace to the point he thinks his hand is going to fracture and he’s going to have to take you to the hospital with broken fingers in you.
he’s so quick, curling his fingers fucking perfectly. he makes you hit your orgasm right when the girl in the video hits her own orgasm.
“there you go… good girl… cum all over me like a little whore…” he coo’s directly in your ear, and it’s so fucking patronizing, like he knows he finally got what he wanted after months of waiting.
your eyes roll back, your vision turning complete white as the wet sounds of your pussy, the video, and rafe’s whispers hit your ear all at once. it’s overwhelming in the best ways possible. “rafe! rafe… rafe… oh god…”
grinding against his fingers to ride out your orgasm, you slump against the bed, weak and so high on cloud nine it’s delicious.
your cum decorates rafe’s fingers as rafe closes the laptop with his right hand, putting it on the bedside table next to your bed.
his fingers grab your chin and presses a soft kiss to your lips, you instantly kiss back as your hand reaches up to hold the back of his head.
rafe finally pulls out his fingers, your walls clenching around his fingers, almost to keep them within your pussy. “seems like your pussy doesn’t want me to leave…” he says with a smirk on his face as he brings his fingers up to his mouth.
the moment your cum hits his tongue, his eyes are rolling back, and you can only moan at the sight. “delicious.” he says lowly.
he rolls you onto your back and begins to undress the both of you, finally living out his wet dreams after months of peering through blinds and imagining.
@murdock-slvt 2025!
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#outer banks#outerbanks x reader#rafe cameron smut#smut#rafe x you#rafe x reader#boy next door! rafe#murdock-slvt
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Eden
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: Seeing you with other Bridgerton offspring has an interesting effect on your new husband...
I couldn't resist using a Season 3 gif cos hello.
Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, breeding kink, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, vaginal sex, creampie, ie filthy babymaking. Also, the smut is bookended by fluff; yeah, that probably needs a warning, lol.
Word Count: 4.2k
Authors Note: This is a very belated request fill for @victoriaholland (HERE) and Anon (HERE) about Benedict with a touch of baby fever. I decided to combine the asks as I saw a way to weave them together. Sorry for the delay, but well at least babymaking seems appropriate for spring hehe. Thank you to @colettebronte for being an awesome beta, as always. Err, Enjoy! <3
Daphne’s latest child is beautiful; you delight in his joy as he bounces on your lap, learning the strength of his sweetly chubby legs, little fists wrapped tight around your fingers.
Looking up, you catch your husband's eye from afar, his stare intense across the gardens of Bridgerton House as you sit under a tented shelter upon a picnic blanket. The rest of the family are scattered around, playing games or chatting, but you are quite content minding the little one while his nanny takes a few moments to eat lunch.
“Is everything alright, my love?” You inquire as Benedict draws closer.
“Yes… I….” He seems a little flustered.
“Are you sure?”
You pull a funny face for the infant, who breaks out into the most adorable infectious giggles that has you grinning from ear to ear and hugging him into your body, swaying with him.
“Are you alright? Minding the child?” He checks, his voice a touch odd.
“Oh yes. We are more than happy, are we not, my little prince?” You talk in a vaguely silly baby-talk voice, addressing the child in your arms as much as Benedict.
Again, the child peals with delighted noises and spit bubbles enthusiastically, looking up at Benedict eagerly as much as you do.
“Well, that is wonderful news,” he blusters, and you could swear he is out of sorts, breathless almost. “I shall… leave you to it,” he adds, giving you a bow and then withdrawing as the little one wiggles out of your arms.
“Ignore your Uncle Benedict; he is being a silly billy,” you whisper conspiratorially once the man in question is out of earshot.
The response is babbled nonsense as the child bashes one wooden brick against another.
“I quite agree,” you state sagely before breaking into a goofy grin.
——
“Please?” Hyacinth wheedles.
“No, Hy,” you sigh without even looking up.
“Ugh, you are no fun!” she scowls, crossing her arms defiantly.
“What is all this?” Anthony clips as he strides into the drawing room, Benedict on his heels, as Hyacinth flounces dramatically across the room.
“Your little sister is angry at me because I will not allow her to drink the punch; it has brandy in it,” you explain cooly.
“Quite right, too!” Anthony chimes as Hyacinth rolls her eyes.
“Listen to y/n, Hyacinth, and do as she says,” Anthony lectures, and you feel grateful for his support, effectively neutering her rebellion. “Despite a temporary lapse of judgment when choosing a spouse, she is otherwise one of the most sensible people in this family.”
“Hey…!” Benedict protests.
“Please…” Anthony withers, twisting towards him. “Brother, if there is one thing us Bridgerton men know how to do, ‘tis to marry a woman entirely too good for us. And well done on that, by the way.”
You smirk at Anthony’s hilarious way of putting his brother - your husband - in his place, catching Kate’s eye with a wink as she enters the room carrying her baby.
“Y/n, come and meet the future Viscount; he’s awake at last,” she calls to you.
You are immediately on your feet and grinning, taking the tiny bundle from her arms and cooing at the sweet little boy. The baby opens his enormous brown eyes and observes you for a second before breaking into a one-toothed grin and happily waving his fists at you.
“Oh, he really likes you!” Kate enthuses, delighted.
“As I do you, little one,” you smile, leaning over to kiss his forehead.
You look up to see Benedict with that same look on his face as earlier. A tempest, almost an energy over his being. It’s almost as if he is… aroused?! Which is most odd.
As you hand the baby back to Kate, giving him one final kiss, Benedict is suddenly by your side. Announcing to the family that there has been a change of plan and, regrettably, you will not be able to stay for dinner, his arm an insistent tug around your waist.
——
“Why did we not stay for family dinner as originally planned, my love?”
Your question is soft, only just audible over the noise of the carriage as you trundle over the cobbled streets of Mayfair a few minutes later.
“I decided that we should perhaps dine at ours this evening…” his voice adopting that deeper edge which always causes butterflies in your tummy. His hand lands on your knee, a heavy weight that feels portentous. He slides closer on the bench seat.
“Why might that be?” your ask turns breathy, entirely without you meaning it to.
“I want to be alone with you,” he murmurs, unmistakably pitched to arouse.
The carriage seems to notch up a few degrees as the rocking motion presses your side rhythmically into his. The sound of the wheels and hooves is so loud. He twists to wrap an arm around your shoulder and pulls your back against his flank.
“All day today, I have watched you,” he rumbles, hand warming the skin around your clavicle, fingertip brushing in circles. “You are so very good with children, darling. Seeing you so naturally with the babies and how you handled Hyacinth… you would be the perfect mother.”
You blush a little at his praise. “Thank you, my love. I would like children one day. Your children. Imagine a child with your eyes. They would be quite the most beautiful,” you sigh wistfully, leaning back into him, his hand feeling heavier on your skin.
Benedict chuckles modestly. “And what of your beauty? Would a child version of you not be the most fetching?”
You giggle and turn your head sideways to nuzzle against his jaw. “I think we would indeed make beautiful babies together, Benedict.”
“I agree,” his voice a tempting lilt, fingers skating downwards over the swell of your breast now, slipping inside the fabric and making you gasp as he tweaks your nipple. “And I think we should start as soon as we get home.”
“Did seeing me with babies suddenly make you want your own, Mr Bridgerton?” Your hand flexes on his knee as he toys with your breast.
“Oh yes darling, it made me want to take you right there…” he asserts, finally admitting those looks he gave you were indeed pure arousal.
You reach up and run your hand into his hair, fingers flexing on his warm scalp as you pull his face to yours. “And suddenly, it appears I am no longer hungry for dinner…” you whisper flirtatiously, your cupid's bow brushing his stubbled upper lip.
He groans, and his passionate kiss is plundering, a tingle running over your limbs, just as your carriage comes to a shuddering stop outside your townhome.
Uncaring of the neighbourhood or any prying eyes, Benedict sweeps you out of the carriage in his arms, carrying you bridal style over the pavement and through your front door.
“My wife and I are not to be disturbed,” he announces crisply and loudly to the staff as you enter the hallway.
Leaving no room for doubt about his plans by pulling you into a searing kiss for all to see before ascending the stairs rapidly. He practically growls as he kicks open the door to your master bedroom door and slams it shut again with his foot.
“Benedict…” you stammer, heart pounding at how overwrought he is.
You have never seen him like this. Commanding, crackling with an energy that has your body simmering. He is usually so sweet, affable, and kind. Every time you have been intimate since your wedding night a few weeks ago, he has been a complete gentleman: loving and so very tender. The grip he has had on you tonight feels different. This is something primal—like a switch has been flipped at a basal level in his being.
He places you down onto your feet before the roaring fire, his face intense.
“Wife…” The way he says it makes you feel a flush creep over your skin.
“Husband…” you respond in kind, belly fluttering with excitement.
“Take off your dress,” he orders, his dilated pupils shining in the firelight.
This is new. Usually, he is the one to remove it slowly and softly from your body.
“I cannot, the buttons…” you confess, signalling behind you. You would need your ladies' maid to unhook them from between your shoulder blades.
He moves closer, seeming so much taller; his ragged breaths dance in the tendrils of your hair as he reaches around behind your shoulders. With a rough tug that makes you startle, he tears the fabric asunder, the sound of tiny pearl buttons skittering across the polished wooden floor behind you as you gasp in surprise.
“There…” he smirks dangerously, “problem resolved.”
You are speechless as he withdraws a pace, looking at you expectantly. You follow his order, a slight quake in your hands as you push the frayed dress down your body, still a little shocked by his strength. Then you reach for the crisscross lacing of your stays, feeling the weight of his stare as each loop relents, his eyes hungry, his body heaving with deep breaths his fitted jacket taut with each inhale. You peel the item away, leaving just your thin white cotton chemise.
“Rip it too,” you plead before you realise it, enthralled by this assertive demeanour.
With a noise in the back of his throat, he takes a pace forward again, and you stare up at him, enchanted. He grasps the fabric above your breasts and then rips it loudly from your chest all the way to your ankles, the sound echoing up the walls. Again, his strength has your knees weak. As the torn pieces flutter from your body, you want to bathe in the hungry sound he makes as he realises you are clad only in white knee-high silk stockings, no underwear to be seen, the warmth from the fireplace swirling around your intimate area.
As you stand almost naked before your imposing husband, him still fully dressed, there is a knot low in your gut. But it’s not fear; it’s something else entirely—desire. Trembling, breathless and wanting. An elemental wish to be thoroughly taken.
He steps forward, eyes glittering, and his fingers plough roughly between your legs, making you gasp.
“Eden,” he proclaims, his fingers snagging over your swollen pearl of a clit with almost rough strokes, the callous where he holds his paintbrush abrading your folds. “A wonderful, lush, wet garden. Just waiting to be planted.” His words are hypnotic and low, questing fingers being coated with a dewiness that is entirely of his making.
“Please…” you whimper, squirming on his touch, captivated by this version of your husband, wanting to submit to him, a burning need low in your belly. His fingers slide faster, making a lewd, wet noise.
“Are you going to let me?” Benedict croons. “Plant my seed inside you?”
Until now, he has always been careful to complete outside your body. A slightly bereft feeling every time - the wonderful moment cut short as he leaves you suddenly empty, a warm splash upon your thighs, tummy or spine. The idea he will stay inside you is alluring in a way you don’t fully comprehend.
“Yes, please, husband,” your nipples puckering almost painfully against the wool of his lapels as he crowds into you.
“Good. Get on that bed right now,” Benedict orders roughly, pointing at your four-poster bed as he tugs off his jacket.
You scramble to obey. Feeling under a spell. Being naked save your stockings feels illicit as you lay back into the soft pillows and watch as he undresses, staring you down the whole time.
You slide a hand between your legs instinctively as more of his toned body is revealed. He growls at the sight, you biting your lip and watching him, his torso bare, his trousers clinging to his shapely legs, to his swollen cock. He bends to remove his shoes, and the sight of his broad shoulders flexing is enough to make you moan. As he stands back up and hooks his elegant fingers around the trouser buttons, a smug look on his handsome face that he is doing this to you.
“Husband…” you call out to him, writhing on your fingers shamelessly now, one hand shooting up to brace your movements against the headboard, flushing warm down to your toes.
With a few dextrous flicks, the buttons relent, and his trousers drop to the floor. His naked body is always a delicious sight, but tonight feels more, every sense heightened, moaning again as he takes a step towards you, thigh muscles flexing, his cock standing proud to attention.
Again, a soft plea falls from your lips, your eyes raking every plain of his tempting form, feeling yourself swell under your fingertips.
“Not yet,” he clucks, the arrogance somehow more beguiling as you bite your lip. “I think I want to watch you come, my darling. All by yourself. I hear female pleasure can aid with conception after all.”
“Will you not touch me?” you petition, reaching your other hand imploringly towards him.
“No darling, I shall watch,” his lopsided grin deadly.
He wraps a strong fist around his own cock, pumping slowly, a bead of moisture gathering at his tip, glistening in the candlelight as he does.
“Now, use both hands, please. Place your fingers inside yourself,” Benedict instructs as you blindly follow, a languid buzz in your brain—you would do anything he told you to right now.
Planting your feet squarely on the bed, you drag your ankles up higher towards your bottom, letting your legs fall open wider to give him a better view as your other hand slides down. You plunge two fingers into yourself, your hips canting off the mattress with a staccato breath at the sensation of yourself, so hot and tight.
“That's right,” he endorses, a leisurely movement of his hand up and down his cock as he watches you from a few feet away. “‘Feel yourself, darling. Tis paradise, is it not?” that trademark rumbling voice skittering over your skin, goosebumps raising down your arms just at the tone.
“Come closer,” you appeal breathily, wanting to smell him, feel his heat, his flesh—anything.
He shakes his head, smirking wider as his refusal spurs you on, desperate to come. Mewling as your fingers speed up, one circling your clit, the others buried as far as you can, wishing instead it were his long, graceful fingers reaching places you are unable. Watching him squeeze his own cock hurtles you fast, already aroused from the moment he slid a hand into your dress in the carriage.
Unable to fight the tide in your body, you screw your eyes shut and call out his name as your pussy starts to convulse around your own fingers, toes curling into the sheet, your muscles all going stiff, your hips again raised as you feel the tide break. A gush of wetness runs down your palm and your bottom cheeks as your mind floats away. Distantly, you can hear him speaking, but it’s fuzzy as you flop back down, sated, your legs going flat, too shaky to balance.
You startle as a warm hand circles the wrist of your fingers still inside yourself, bringing you abruptly back into the room. Benedict looms over you, his chest heaving, that power still there.
“What was that?” your query drowsy, lips dry.
He chuckles richly. “I said that was spectacular,” he repeats, bemused. “But also that I want you to paint your nipples with your arousal, my love, for me,” he commands, tugging your hand so your fingers slide out of yourself.
You do as bidden, still floating down from the high, smearing your own warm juices onto your puffed areolas.
“Perfect..” he intones.
In one swift, athletic move, he mounts the bed. You cry out as his warm mouth encloses your left nipple, groaning lewdly as he licks you clean of your arousal, his tongue a heavy, warm, wet weight curling around your sensitive bud, his lips tugging gently, reawakening those synapses only just recovering from your orgasm.
“Why do you always taste like heaven?” his dusky question is rhetorical, his breath gusting over your sternum as he swaps to your other breast to meter out the same treatment. He has you moving under him again as he settles his body over you more firmly, your hips tilting up to feel his hard cock graze your inner thigh. “I wonder if you will still taste like heaven when you are heavy with my child?” he hums thoughtfully as he teases your nipple with the tip of his nose, one hand cupping your empty belly. “I dare say even moreso, ripe like a vine, bearing fruit…” That sonorous voice teases over your skin as he moves slowly upwards to nuzzle your neck. “My fruit….” he adds, possessive as he sucks your earlobe into his mouth, so loud now right by your ear.
His hands wind around your thighs as he shuffles position so he is kneeling between your legs, his ropey thighs spread wide under yours…
“Are you ready for that, my love?” he pauses until you nod almost imperceptibly; you squeak as he suddenly hauls you down the bed, hips onto his lap, your pelvis now higher than your head upon the sheets. Your stockings unfurling down your legs where he quickly plucks at the ribbons holding them aloft.
“Good, because I am more than ready for you,” it almost sounds like a warning.
Then, with a solid thrust, he spears into your body, the invasion toe-curling, your fingers grasping his muscular forearms that are clamped around your waist. It is a primal position, and he begins to thrust with no mercy, his cock feeling huge and heavy, a strong weight that drags heavily over your walls as your pussy clings to him. Your eyes flutter closed as you whimper his name, powerless to do anything but take his thrusts, draped across his lap as you are.
“Look at me,” he demands raggedly. And you do, his handsome face contorted with effort as he slams into you, a little bead of sweat forming on his brow. “Look at me while I fuck a baby into you, wife.”
He’s never spoken to you like this before, clipped, harsh. It seems appropriate that he would be almost desperate in an act so elemental, so of the earth—to create life. Stoking a fire deep in your core that is a clarion call for him, a frisson running over your skin at the idea you are being impregnated. Bred.
You know neither of you will last long with this almost frenzied coupling, the tendrils of your arousal already swirling so soon after your last, his near-brutish handling precisely what you need, your swollen pearl slammed into his flat abdomen with every stroke he takes. The sheets roll under your shoulder blades as he keeps the same position, your hips high, a mounting that you cannot and do not want to escape, knowing he is leaving fingertip bruises around the dip of your waist, marks you will carry secretly with pride just for him.
You moan his name, so close again to that ephemeral bliss, thrashing your head from side to side as if willing the pleasure to break and wash over you.
“Come on, come for me, milk me, darling. Take what you need, take my seed,” his voice a deep wrecked purr, the lines of his body tense, craving release as much as you.
That command is what breaks the dam for you, an almost violent ricochet fanning out from where you clench around him, his cries muffled behind the rushing noise in your ears, every part of you convulsing in a pleasurable wave. And then, in a floating haze, for the very first time, you feel your husband come inside you, a warm bloom that coats your walls. It's an intoxicating feeling; you never want him to come anywhere else ever again.
“That's it, well done, my love,” he croons, eyes still shut as he shudders with little aftershocks, not leaving your body—as if he wants to stay inside you always.
——
As the embers in the fireplace glow white, you lay in post-coital bliss, bodies dewy from exertion. Benedict rests his head upon your stomach as you card your fingers leisurely through his hair.
“Do you believe we may have made a baby, darling?” he hums, pressing his ear to your belly button as if listening for a heartbeat.
“I am certain of it, husband; you were so very thorough with your attentions,” you assure as he takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. “I hope our baby has your face,” you opine.
“Even if it is a girl?!”
“Thou art as pretty as thou art handsome, Mr Bridgerton,” you quip.
He laughs, carefree, crawling behind you and pulling you into a spooned embrace. “Be careful with such provocation, wife; I may not be done with you after all,” he jests idly. “I, on the other hand, hope our child looks like you, even if it is a boy.” he posits, crowding into your back, his lips warm on the shell of your ear.
“Why?” you laugh, frowning, twisting to look back at him.
“So that I may love them as much as I do you,” he breezes nonchalantly as if what he says is not the sweetest thing you can imagine, causing a tart, sudden spike of want through your body, even as you lay sated.
“Be careful, husband,” you volley back, coquettish. “Or I may not yet be done with you.”
There is a sharp, approving intake of breath, and his hand slides low from your belly into the thatch of hair at the apex of your thighs.
“Is that a promise” he rumbles, your gasp loud as his fingers expertly drag against your clit.
“It is whatever you want. Just do not stop,” you rush out, your hand curling around his bicep, feeling a rigid mass slide hot against your bottom. “Again, husband,” you appeal breathily. “Impregnate me again.”
“With pleasure, wife,” he growls, surging into your body with a force that again steals the very breath from your lungs.
The pinkish light dawn is streaking over the ceiling above when you both finally succumb to sleep after many more vigorous attempts at babymaking. The last one, perhaps the most desperate, you pinned against the headboard, him fucking into you so hard from behind that a jagged crack appears, spidering up the wall from where the bedframe slammed into it. A flaw which he steadfastly refuses to get fixed, claiming it to be the most profound art—a souvenir and ode to a momentous night.
——
9 months later
Benedict’s lips mash against your sweaty brow as he keeps lauding you with praise, excitement and pride evident in his every word. You flop back onto the bed, exhaustion deep in your bones, your body turned inside out, hurting in a way you have never known.
But it was all worth it.
What feels like only moments later, in your shattered, addled state, the doctor and nurses depart. Your husband perches on the bed next to you, his face a picture of wonderment. Holding not just one but two bundles of joy in the crooks of his arms. One girl, one boy—fraternal twins.
“My love, we have created the most beautiful creatures on all of this earth,” he attests partisanly, his voice profound with emotion, his eyes pinging from one swaddled face to the other as they sleep soundly.
You shoot him a watery but ironic smile. “I suppose, dear husband, that is what happens when you spend a whole night impregnating me. You succeed twice over.”
His brow raises pointedly, his tongue shooting out to pass over his bottom lip. “Are you suggesting next time around, wife, we keep going for three days straight? So that I may have a brood of eight by the time we are done?” Deploying his bedroom voice that he knows full well makes your knees weak.
“Do not say such things in front of the children!” you chide, swatting his knee where it touches your thigh. “And no, I am not carrying six of your progeny at once; that is simply preposterous!”
“Four?” he petitions with a wink.
You roll your eyes affectionately, settling back into the mound of pillows. “A maximum of two at a time is my final offer, Benedict Bridgerton,” you respond drolly.
“Entirely reasonable,” he chuckles contentedly, dropping a kiss onto each of their foreheads before handing both to you so delicately, as if they are the most precious bundles in the world.
Which to you both, they are.
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i’m in such disbelief right now and beyond disgusted.
i really hope y’all are choosing your morals over kpop; because we do not know these men at all. i will never side with or defend a predator and a criminal, even with little to no proof. even if there is the smallest chance he may be innocent, i will always believe the victim first.
some of you, as fans of the boys for years and him in general, i know you must be feeling disappointed and betrayed. you’re not dumb for previously supporting him, as we couldn’t have possibly known. but now is the time for a reality check and it’s time to wake up and take a step back. this just goes to show that we know absolutely nothing about them.
for sm to just outright put out a statement on their own before any rumors even surfaced and immediately kick him out? this has to be insanely serious and i’m terrified of what he could’ve done. the crazy thing is with everything currently happening in korea with the telegram situation, and korean women constantly being in danger in general because of the men there, i’m not at all surprised that celebrities are being exposed. sm has protected criminals before, and held onto lucas when his scandal came out as well as other artists who have been exposed for similar crimes. i can’t even imagine the severity of the current situation. we’ve seen what happened with the burning sun, and these men are not immune to being misogynistic, vile human beings.
members have already unfollowed him and deleted posts with him in them; his best friend of 17yrs has unfollowed him. the company taking the initiative and him getting kicked out of the group in less than a second before anything even came out, no denying the claims or even trying to defend him. that should be enough to tell you and understand how serious this actually is. i am beyond disgusted with him and this whole situation.
i sincerely hope the victim is doing okay and praying for them to heal and get the justice they deserve. and remember that your love for these celebrities should always be conditional, because we do not know them. it’s their job to put on a show and show you their public persona, but behind closed doors? we don’t know what they’re actually like. we put them on a pedestal and yet we don’t know what they’re really capable of. they are still men after all. i hope the police are taking this seriously. there needs to be consequences and these women need to be protected.
let this be a lesson to all of us. they don’t know us, and we don’t know them, not really, not at all.
ALWAYS choose morals over these strangers you idolize. and as women, we should be standing with the victims.
maybe not all men, but enough of them. and maybe not all men, but somehow always a man. and going forward, i will continue to support nct as a whole with the remaining members. however, keeping the situation in mind, i will be supporting from afar for a little while. if the situation escalates and other members are investigated and new information comes to light about the rest of them either knowing or possibly being involved, it would be best to step away for good. i will do my best to stay updated. but i do hope the rest of the members are doing okay, and hopefully no other members were involved; but this, just shows that they can always surprise us. you never think it’ll be your fave, until it is.
let’s hope this causes a domino effect and more of these people are exposed and charged for the crimes they’re committing.
sending love to anyone who has ever experienced sexual violence or has been targeted and been in a similar situation. it is not your fault and it never was!
love you all and my dms are always open if you need to vent. <3
❗️EDIT: also i wanna add that we need to not praise the rest of the members or any other celebrity for simply unfollowing him on social media. that is the least of anyone’s worries.
we don’t know if they were aware, we don’t know if they knew and were protecting him or turning a blind eye. it could be them trying to save themselves and clear their guilty conscience. maybe they didn’t know and are just as shocked as we are, we don’t know that either.
we blindly trust these people and believe they have good intentions but look at where that can lead to. fans being upset is valid, yes; but remember people with money and power will do whatever it takes to sweep things under the rug and make it go away in order to save face and keep their image and reputation.
follow-up post here.
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I WANT TO F**K YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL .
( black noir x fem supe!reader )

summary: the not-so-innocent things that go on in noir’s head abt you during The Seven meetings (wc: 1.8k)
warnings: MDNI, dub-con, rough p in v, doggy style, primal play themes, size kink, gagging, sobbing, corruption kink, Homelander being a weirdo at the end… just a lil’
first fic on this blog and I lowkey hate it- ughhh sorry if it’s all over the place!
The morning sun cast its golden glow upon the Manhattan skyline as The Seven assembled in their meeting room.
Homelander paced before them, detailing some new initiative he had conceived, but his words rang as emptily as the void behind his eyes. The Deep hung on his every syllable, eager as ever to prove his ass-kissing self with poorly-timed quips. This earned him nothing but a withering side-eye.
A-Train and Maeve listened with feigned interest, checking out of the conversation all but in body. Noir sat apart, idly fidgeting with a pen as his mind wandered. But his attention was drawn not to the usual faces, for there was a new supe among them—you, the latest fresh-faced recruit to their team.
On the surface, you appeared the absolute picture of attention—eyes forward, laser focused on Homelander as he tiresomely outlined the team's objectives.
It was cute, really, how focused the newbies always strived to be. Yet beneath the facade, you were actually anything but so, not when you felt an unseen gaze assessing you, weighing you.
Flicking your eyes discreetly aside, you confirmed a suspicion you could smell from miles away: Noir watching from across the table, his expression shrouded as ever behind the visor of his helmet.
Ugh, talk about creepy.
A subtle flutter of your eyelids shifted your line of sight, choosing to trust that his thousand-yard stare just so casually happen to drift your way and not an attempt to burn his gaze into your very soul.
Besides, what else could the guy possibly think about? Training, orders from Vought, simple pastimes—usually, such painfully mundane, run-of-the-mill thoughts occupied him.
But little did you know in this moment, as he studied your presence from afar, his mental reflections took a turn less… innocent.
─────────────────
“N-Noir… mmph-… please…”
It wasn’t his doing, he didn’t ask to be plagued with this sickly obsession; but every time he heard your voice, it was as if sweet, smooth-spun sugar had come alive.
An alien lust scorched Noir’s consciousness, catapulting his fevered mind into unfamiliar territory. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake the sinful thoughts that stubbornly stuck to him like glue. Just the mere notion of ever being responsible for those pretty little sounds was enough for arousal to creep through his veins like a nasty virus, sapping what was left of his crumbling self-control.
Your every whine, your every moan, would be a siren's call that beckoned him to claim you, to strip away your composure until you were utterly, helplessly his. All he craved was to watch the light in your eyes dwindle, to witness your breaths dampening into shallow puffs of air that blanketed your gaze in a veil of fog, gradually muffling you into a stillness even quieter than he was.
And truthfully, it wasn’t a matter of whether you liked it or not.
Noir would ensure his touch left no room for refusal, his grasp iron-hard as he positioned your trembling, naked body on the floor to his liking—face pinned down, ass arched up, just as it should be. Yet even as he held you fast with a palm braced against your sweat-slicked spine, his other hand moved with a surprising tenderness, gently teasing loose and brushing apart the knotted strands of hair clung to your ruddied features.
He imagined the merest of touches would set your blood aflame, rumbling up a ripe groan from your core. “…Oh m-my god… fuck…” words fled your mouth on airless breaths, nearly inaudible but still enough for him to catch. In response, he’d slowly lift a finger to your glistening lips, accompanied by a soundless ‘shh’—a signal for you to behave.
After all, good girls should never cuss.
Large, strong hands would then greedily paw at the lush fat of your ass cheeks, the scratchy textured fabric of his gloves leaving blooms of red across your flesh. Spreading you open, he’d admire the way your juicy, moist folds parted slightly, the aching emptiness within your entrance eliciting an involuntary clenching—your muted moans, trapped in your throat, acting as a wordless plea for more of his touch, more of him.
He liked to think you’d be mere putty in his hands, before he was even close to fucking you.
Noir would take his sweet time exploring you, his curiosity of the human form eclipsing the immediate need to quell a white-hot carnal desire every red-blooded man gets. He was good at rearranging people’s insides, literally, but what if he flipped the script in a much different way?
Experimentally, he’d run the very tip of his gloved finger along the weeping slit of your sex, ghosting ever so lightly over your swollen, hypersensitive clit to collect your slick arousal. Then, without warning, he’d dip an entire digit into your quivering depths, reveling in the way your spongy muscles squeezed and welcomed him in.
Your breath would hitch at the intrusion, skin prickling with a visceral need as you eagerly shoved your rear back against his palm, craving more. However, just as swiftly, he would withdraw his hand, bringing it close to his face to observe it covered in your juices, inspecting how the slimy, milky-white essence connected a trail between his fingers.
Who knew light fondling and agonizing silence was all the foreplay you needed? (or at least, in Noir’s fanciful pornographic depictions of you)
Once done playing with his food, he’d drag his knees closer to your body, his hips flush against your ass, leaving your peripheral vision filled with nothing but his imposing, darkly-clad figure dwarfing your own. Without hesitation, he’d reach down to remove the codpiece off him, freeing his hefty cock which sprang forth in the air, where it stood rock-hard, veiny, and impossibly large.
Wrapping a hand around himself, the thickly-roped, buzzing veins were betrayed by each gritty pull of his glove, drawing a guttural grunt from behind his balaclava. He’d guide his erection between your warm folds, the engorged ridge of his tip prodding against your bundle of nerves, sending electric jolts of pleasure to crackle through your core, before he began to sheathe himself inside you with a push that drove him home.
With a grip possessive and firm around your waist, Noir quickly fell into a steady, almost robotic rhythm of sturdy pushes and pulls. Each punishing collision of your bodies was answered by the lewd, rapid sounds of skin-on-skin, making damn sure you felt every single inch of him as he rutted into you like a man possessed.
He’d only hope to see you struggle taking him all in, envisioning how the sheer scale of his size forced the very air out from your gasping lungs.
“P-Please Noir!… ngh-… my body can’t handle this much,” your once-lovely voice now ragged and frail, scraping sobs grinding your vocal cords near silence as you churned and coiled like a fawn caught in the clutches of a big, bad wolf. “Be gentle, I’m begging you!—-” You choked out weakly, bordering on a soft, pitiful whine.
Expectantly, a weighted silence followed suit from Noir. In his typical, unsparing fashion, he slipped a glove from his hand, jamming it into your mouth and effectively gagging you into silence, as if to say—pipe down, be a good girl, and take my cock like you’re supposed to.
Even without a single word uttered by him, it worked like absolute fucking magic.
Your torso would practically collapse under the onslaught, wobbly limbs giving way as you let Noir use your arched up, offering form like a personal fleshlight. His hips would retract further back in an excruciating slowness, simply marveling at your wetness coating the base of his member like a second skin, only to slam back into you with raw vigor.
Your tight, gummy walls would be offered absolutely no time to adjust to the relentless invasion of his girth, the sheer thickness of his cock forcefully stretching out your cunt to shape him, to the point it felt like he was trying to split you into two.
He’d yank your flexing thighs back to meet his brutal series of thrusts, burying himself into you to the very tilt as the fleshy head of his cock kissed your cervix, igniting a searing white bolt of static to lance through your vision, momentarily fracturing it.
The all-consuming, dizzying sensation hit you like a ton of bricks, toppling your senses and wrenching a strangled sob out from your slack jaw once more. This earned you another biting touch from Noir’s thumbs pressed into your sides, as if seeking to wring every gasp out of your chest, to hear your moans rattle through your ribcage.
However even your rawest cries were swiftly muffled, swallowed by the balled-up glove shoved roughly between your teeth, which reduced you to nothing more than a gagging, pleasure-drunk whore for him to claim.
─────────────────
Meanwhile…
“Welp, that about covers it for today,” Homelander announced with a thunderous clap, loud enough for it to ring through Noir’s ears and bring him back to the present.
Slowly, Noir spun his head back towards Homelander, who had just finished addressing the team while his own thoughts drifted to places where even the pearly gates of heaven wouldn't give him the time of day.
“Now shoo- and no more sloppy behavior. I’ll be keeping an eye on each and every one of you.” Homelander dismissed them with a casual wave and a chuckle laced with another one of his thinly veiled threats.
As everyone, including little-miss-oblivious-you, got up to leave the meeting room, Homelander sauntered over to Noir, heartily slapping a heavy hand onto his back. “Earth to Noir! I know that look—thoughts a million miles away behind that sphinx-like mask of yours,” giving a sly little shrug, he slanted a meaningful look towards Noir’s codpiece. “But methinks, someone here isn’t as impenetrable as I thought…” A thin wry smile played his lips, a subtle hint at his x-ray vision allowing him to see a particular something-something of Noir’s that was currently just as hard as his body armor.
“It might do you good to line that suit with zinc. Wouldn't want any unwanted eyes peeking where they shouldn’t, do we?" An amused exhale, part sigh part snicker, slipped out of Homelander as his gaze swept over Noir once more.
True to form, all he received in turn was Noir’s standard muteness, as soundless as a grave.
Homelander eased the quiet with a huffed laugh, rocking back on his heels as he tilted his head in playful study of Noir. "But don't worry," he added with a knowing smirk, "it happens to the best of us. But do try to keep your head in the game! And not with your other one, ‘kay buddy?” Homelander jested in mock-reproach as he landed one last waggish, firm slap between Noir's shoulders, flashing his gleaming white yet eerily pointed grin.
Noir remained statue still, no hint of feeling betrayed by his rigid posture despite the toe-curling awkwardness of the encounter, or perhaps he'd yet to fully realize Homelander had peered within and seen his aching, raging hard-on behind the suit's facade.
Noir silently watched Homelander shoot two playful finger guns, his cape swirled shut behind him before leaving the room.
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Pssst- Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated in this household and keep me motivated! <3
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Apologies if there are any grammatical errors here, cuz I’m alr so done with this fic 😭😭😭
#the boys#the boys fandom#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys series#the boys fanfic#the boys smut#the boys x y/n#the boys x you#the boys x reader#the boys black noir#black noir smut#black noir x you#black noir x reader#black noir#black noir fanfiction#homelander#the boys homelander#homelander fanfiction#john gillman#the boys show#the boys tv show#the boys tv series#black noir the boys#the boys x female reader#the boys drabble#nathan mitchell
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Seeing kny men shirtless for the first time

Pairings: Rengoku x fem!reader; Gyomei x fem!reader; Sanemi x fem!reader (bonus: all hashira men x fem!reader)
Word Count: 3,2k
Warnings: this might be a little shitty so be nice pls, this is actually the first time I ever wrote for Gyomei so please please please let me know what you think! not 100% proofread 🥹🤍
Rengoku Kyojuro

“Have you seen Rengoku-san? There’s something I want to ask him about our upcoming mission.”
Tengen tilts his head to the side ever so slightly, lips unable to keep that dirty grin off his face. Yeah, surely you’re asking for a mission and not because you’re having a crush on the flame hashira since joining the pillars.
“He went outside in the gardens to view the blooming roses”, he lies oh so innocently.
A bright smile creeps up your face, heart already skipping a beat in excitement. If you were only brave enough to finally ask Kyojuro out, how easier your life would be if you’d just keep your distance to him. But the prospect of seeing him alone is enough for your mind to go blank. Hopefully, the others don’t notice.
“Thank you so much, Tengen”, you blurt out with a hasty bow before yanking out of the room.
“Didn’t he say he wanted to change since he sweated so much during training?”, Shinobu thinks out loud.
“Yeah, that’s going to be a lot of fun”, Tengen replies with a smirk plastered onto his face.
Your mind races back and forth as you make your way to the gardens. What will you even ask him? Maybe what he has planned, if he already knows something? What if you mess up? This is actually the first time you and Kyojuro got assigned a mission together. You have to make a good impression or otherwise, he won’t take you with him again.
“Rengoku-san, I don’t mean to disturb you, but I have a few questions regarding the ne-“
Your breath gets stuck in your throat immediately, feet coming to a rapid stand.
There he is, the flame hashira.
Shirtless, his upper body soaking wet while he empties a bucket of water over his head.
“Oh, (y/n)! I didn’t expect you here!”, he announces with his eyes widened.
You can’t even blink, mind going dull. You always secretly imagined what Kyojuro might look like underneath that uniform, if his muscles look as buff as they feel underneath your touch while training.
And they do.
Oh god, they definitely do.
“I-I…Tengen told me that…You’re here to see…the roses”, you blurt out, still unable to look away.
“Indeed! But before that, I really needed to change my uniform since I sweated a lot during training.”
“Yeah, I can see that”, you mumble.
“(y/n), are you not feeling well? You look quite red from afar. Allow me to check on you.”
When he suddenly starts walking towards you with his chest muscles tensing with each and every step, you feel like fainting. Of course you never doubted that this man looks good underneath that uniform, but this?
“Your cheeks are really hot”, he comments while running his wet hand up and down your cheek.
“I…I…”
Your mind is a mess, not a single thought is making sense right now. Are you dreaming? Is that really Rengoku Kyojuro standing in front of you with his abs glittering in the heat of the sun, so close that you’d be able to touch him.
“Maybe you should go and see Shinobu-“
“I’m flustered!”, you finally cry out like an idiot.
Only to regret your words immediately.
His hand stops right in its tracks, the piercing presence of his orbs forcing you to look up at him.
“Why would you be flustered, (y/n)?”, he questions innocently.
May the ground swallow you whole in hope you’ll never return. God, why does this have to be so embarrassing? You’ll definitely have a word with Tengen when this is over.
“Because I…I have a crush on you, Kyojuro.”
The words you never dared to say out loud, that lingered through your mind each and every time you saw him. Like a rock, they fall off your chest while a wave of pure panic starts rushing over you.
You just confessed your feelings to him.
Him, Rengoku Kyojuro.
“I think I need to go now”, you blurt out, already starting to turn away when Kyojuro grabs your wrist gently.
“Please don’t go, (y/n). Actually, I feel the same way about you.”
He sweeps you around so rapidly that you are forced against something as hard as a wall. Did he accidentally throw you against a wall, the nearby tree?
The second you open your eyes again, you stare at his bare chest, only millimetres away from your face.
That wasn’t a wall.
“I had an eye on you since the first time I saw you. You are just…so amazing!”, he confesses with a passion that is even unusual for him.
“Kyojuro, I…”
Your bare face touched his naked chest.
“I…”
And don’t get started on his sight, his broad chest, the muscles that flex when he grabs your shoulders passionately.
“I…I can’t…”
“What’s wrong, (y/n)? A cat got your tongue?”, Tengen jeers from behind.
All your senses seem to come back to you in the split of a second when a wave of anger washes over you.
“You little…Why did you do that!?”, you cry out while storming towards the much taller man.
“Because your face looks very flashy when it’s this red.”
Gyomei Himejima

To say that you are exhausted would be the understatement of a century. Being out in the scorching sun all day really took its toll on your already bruised body.
Not to mention the training methods of none other than the stone hashira himself.
Gyomei is not a stranger to you. You’ve known each other for quite some time by now, joining the demon slayer corps almost simultaneously. And that force of a man never failed to impress you.
You wrench your sweat-soaked clothes in the river while staring at your own reflection. Why are you even here, though? You might not be a hashira yet, but you trained with Gyomei countless times before. Over and over, you shoved rocks around and almost drowning in that exact river. At this point, the basic training of the corps members isn’t even enough for you to break a sweat. You find yourself shoving that rock 10 cho by now while carrying tree trunks on your back.
You furrow your eyebrows. Now that you think of it, you didn’t even catch a glimpse at Gyomei himself since being here. Apparently, the hashira training does keep him busy.
That sting of agony that pierces through your heart can’t be stopped, though. Over the span of those last years, you got to know the stone hashira better. Despite his tall and threatening appearance, he is the softest man you’ve ever known. So kind that he brought tears to your eyes more than once, so considerate that it’s hard to believe that this man lives alone.
It was inescapable for you to fall from him head over heels. And now you find yourself longing for his presence even though you know all too well that he is busy training the corps members.
“I didn’t expect to greet you here at this late hour.”
You almost trip over head-first into the water, caught by a strong hand last-minute before you take another dive into the river.
“I’m beyond sorry for scaring you like this, (y/n)”, an all too familiar voice continues while pushing you back on your feet.
Normally, the first thing you see is his demon slayer uniform and cloak draped around him in a somehow elegant way.
But not today.
You swallow hard, widened eyes blankly staring at his naked chest. This man standing in front of you…Gyomei wears nothing but his uniform pants.
“I…uh…don’t w-worry”, you stutter like an idiot, his arms still holding you in place gently.
“Did I interrupt you? I didn’t know that you were taking a bath.”
His soft voice paired with that sight in front of you. You’ve never seen him shirtless, never witnessed the way his veins pop out of his arms and how well formed he is underneath that uniform. It would be so easy to allow your fingertips a taste and let yourself discover his muscles even better, to just stretch out your hand and-
“Does it bother you that I am shirtless? I came here to take a bath myself.”
“Bother?”, you press out.
“I…I’m not bothered at all!”
“I guess I’m just a little…flustered…”
“Flustered?”, he repeats in confusion.
“If I make you feel uncomfortable, I’ll cover myself of course. I just noticed you were here and we haven’t seen each other for a long time by now.”
“I missed you”, he adds, forcing your world upside down for a minute.
Since you’ve got to know him, there was never more than friendly words between Gyomei and you. Not more than a shoulder rub, not more than motivating words from time to time. You never allowed yourself to compliment him or talk about anything apart from missions.
Until now. Until Gyomei confessed out of nowhere that he missed you.
While being shirtless
“I…missed you too”, you finally give in.
You allow your eyes a little glimpse at him. Just a little taste of his broad shoulders and how his veins stand out. Just a little something of his rock-hard abs, his enormous upper body that is usually covered by his uniform. Just one look at-
“I thought about you all the time, to be exact”, you breathe out before you even realize what you’re talking about.
“I’m feeling the same way, (y/n). Let me assure you that my heart beats just as fast as yours at the moment.”
Gently, he cups your hand with his and presses your palm against his bare chest, straight against his racing heart that pulsates against your skin.
Oh god. You feel like fainting any given minute, your very own heart pounding so hard that you might get a heart attack.
“Now, allow me to put on my uniform again so that we can have a proper-“
“Wait!”, you blurt out.
“Let’s just stay like this for uh…a little longer…”
Sanemi Shinazugawa

It’s hard to keep your palms from sweating when you know exactly where you’re going. To him, the wind hashira. The man who swept you off your feet without even trying, the man you haven’t seen in such a long time by now.
While Sanemi always kept himself busy with missions, you were assigned to a mission far away from home. It took you over a month to finally find the demon who was responsible for this mess. And eventually, Sanemi just stopped writing you letters or replying to your messages. Even though you were so sure that he might feel the same way about you, he proved you wrong.
In the most painful way.
“I can’t go any further, that’s exactly where he is”, you complain while following your crow around.
You know this path uncomfortably well, the way it leads you next to a river, through a field of strawberries. Straight into the wind hashira estate.
“Direct orders from Kagaya-sama! You need to undergo the hashira training!”
“I just returned from an exhausting mission, did you tell him that?”, you bark back only to get attacked by your stinky crow.
“So cheeky! Watch how you talk to me!”, it cries out, literally dragging you along with it while its beak bursts the skin of your cheek.
Your heart almost stops beating, pounding rougher and rougher against your ribcage with every step you take towards the wind hashira estate.
What if the man you still love rejects you? What if he breaks your heart in front of everyone else, if he speaks out those words you imagined when you waited another day for his reply?
You want to escape, want to get as far away from here as possible. But your unforgiving crow drags you with it until you find yourself at the front doors of his estate.
“Get yourself together, dumbass! Go inside and talk to him! GO!”
With one last bite it finally leaves you alone, right at the opened front door.
There’s nothing you’d like more than vanishing from this earth, to get swallowed whole. Why on earth does it have to be him first? Why aren’t you allowed to train with Tengen, Giyu, basically everyone else? Your heart races so hard inside your ribcage that it takes your breath away, eyes staring into the dark estate.
Is he even home?
You allow yourself to take a few steps into the building, to look around. No cries, no voices? Maybe he isn’t even home. Are they training somewhere else, in the nearby woods, maybe?
“Fuck!”
His voice almost sends you over the edge, forces your eyes to dart around in sheer horror. That was Sanemi, without any doubt. But is he alone?
What if he’s not?
What if he’s with a girl?
You swallow hard, the ugliest thoughts taking over your head when you hear water splashing from a room nearby.
You can’t help it. As quiet as possible, you make your way towards the room the sounds originate from, ready to find literally everything. What if that’s the reason he didn’t write you back? What if he fell in love with another woman and simply forgot about you?
Your eyes peek through the ever so slightly opened door.
And your jaw drops to the floor in an instant.
There he stands, nothing but a towel covering his private parts while droplets of water run down his naked back. Sanemi just washed himself.
But oh…
You can feel your mouth watering just by looking at the scars that cover his back, how delicious the water than runs down his neck seems. You’re only a few steps away from that force of a man, only a few steps in order to touch him. You always wondered what his skin feels like, if his outside is as rough as his inside. And what does he smell like straight out of the shower? Does he still smell like himself? And what about his abs-
All air drains from your compressed lungs as you suddenly find yourself pinned against the wall straight in Sanemi’s bathroom.
“Why the hell are you spying on me like some little freak?”, he hisses through gritted teeth.
“I…wasn’t spying”, you press out, his distressed orbs meeting yours.
Fuck, you’re screwed.
“Oh yeah? Why were you standing outside my bathroom then? I didn’t even know you were back!”
“Because you never fucking asked”, you finally bark back.
He draws even closer, lingers over you like an unpromising shadow with his naked upper body still dripping. No, you have to concentrate on the fact that you’re mad as hell right now, there’s no room for inspecting his upper body.
But his abs definitely look as good as they feel.
“You were out on a mission, how the hell was I supposed to ask? I thought you’d just let me know when you’re back”, he bites back.
“Oh, could have tried answering my damn messages, maybe? Did you ever think about that!?”
“Me answering your messages? You never replied to me!”
You furrow your eyebrows.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“What I’m talking about? I sent you countless messages and you never answered. I even asked Kagaya-sama if you died or something! I…I was so fucking worried…”
His heavy breath mixes with yours, caresses your oversensitive skin.
“But Sanemi…I did the same”, you finally mutter.
Sanemi’s chest rises and falls rapidly, a few water drops escaping the force of his skin. His oh so glowy skin. Of course you knew that this man would look good shirtless. But this? How are you supposed to stay focused when his skin turns pink ever so slightly, when his muscular chest moves like that?
“Can you stop staring at my abs and focus on me for one minute?”, he barks while flicking in front of your way too focused eyes.
You feel your cheeks heat up in an instant, glossy eyes staring at him like a caught deer. If there’s one thing that’s worse than checking Sanemi out, it’s definitely getting caught.
“Sorry, I have to go”, you mumble while pulling yourself away from him.
Only to find yourself wrapped in his naked arms even tighter.
“You’re not going anywhere. I just asked you something”, he warns you.
“Let go of me!”
“Did you…miss me?”
Your arms stop right in their tracks, widened eyes staring at his flustered face in sheer disbelief. There he stands, Sanemi Shinazugawa, straight out of the shower while asking you if you missed him?
“Yeah, always”, you reply out of instinct.
“Good. Because same.”
He doesn’t even give you the chance to second-guess your answer. In the split of a second, you get devoured by his muscular arms, your very own kimono soaking wet in an instant.
Are you dreaming?
“Wait, what?”, you breathe out.
“And you totally checked me out”, he adds proudly.
“I didn’t check you out-“
“Oh yeah?”
He lets go of you just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his delicious upper body again.
“Maybe a little bit…”
-Bonus-
You huff out in exhaustion. What the actual fuck were you thinking when you agreed on training with all hashira? Well, apparently not that you’d literally vomit all over yourself after getting hit without any mercy by all of them.
“That little fucker Shinazugawa”, you curse under your breath while stomping towards the wind hashira estate.
“I’ll kick your puny ass next time.”
Your feet drag you back to them with last strength. Rengoku, Tengen, Obanai, Shinazugawa, Tomioka…why on earth are all of them so damn strong? Super unfair.
“Have you seen how I beat the shit out of her?”, you hear Sanemi jeer from afar as well as the constant mumbling of the others.
“It wasn’t necessary to hit her this hard”, Giyu comments.
“Hell yes it was. Now that brat knows what she’s dealing with!”
All you see is red. Even though your body begs you to stop, you storm towards their voices.
“Listen up, you little shit-“
Your breath gets stuck in your throat, eyes darting around without a real aim.
There they stand. Shirtless. Every single one of them.
Oh.
“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault that you’re a loser-“
Just this once, you’re actually able to ignore Sanemi’s shitty words. That toned abs Rengoku has, Tengen’s veiny arms, Obanai’s athletic build, the scars that compliment Sanemi’s muscles so well-
Why is it suddenly so hot?
“Are you okay, (y/n)?”, Giyu questions while rubbing the back of his head with a towel.
How is it possible that he looks this good underneath that loose uniform? You always expected Giyu to be rather athletic that muscular given his fast movements. But that mountain of a biceps definitely doesn’t lie.
“I…”
Not a single logical thought is left in your blank mind, eyes roaming back and forth between them.
“I need to go.”
In the matter of seconds, you disappear inside the wind hashira estate without a trace.
“Is (y/n) alright? She looked rather pale”, Rengoku thinks out loud, still staring at where you last stood.
“She was definitely checking me out”, Tengen announces proudly.
“You? Bet she was looking at me”, Sanemi jeers at the tall man.
“How are they so hot?”, you mumble to yourself while inspecting them through the window.

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Summer of desires



*pairing: pervy library student Heeseung x popular rich Girl
*trope: grumpy x sunshine/he fall first, she fall harder
*synopsis: What would happen when the city bookseller as well as your classmate timid with sweet air but with extreme dirty thoughts about you from the first day he saw you for the first time sold you spicy books? Between summer bonfires, stolen kisses in the library, provocations and summer baths what will happen between the popular girl with no wires on her tongue and a slightly perverted nerd?
*tags: A lot of tension, Heeseung is downbad for the protagonist, obsession, fake innocent girl, needy heeseung, needy girl, tease each other, summer vibes, kisses in the private pool, fluffy, masturbation,nipples plays, fingering, touchy girl/Hee, pacifiers, virgin protagonist, unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl) pet names (sweetheart,baby) (hee)
14.9k (👙)
(English is not my native lanuage)

The seaside town of Jeongdongjin was famous for its crystal-clear sea and fiery sunsets, but in that small community, there was also a place many didn’t notice, except for its dusty windows and the smell of yellowed paper that mixed with the scent of the sea. The Quiet Corner, the town’s bookstore, was a peaceful spot, but it was also a refuge of sorts for Heeseung. He was the typical nerd on campus, but not in a conventional way. Yes, he loved spending time between the pages of books and in front of the console, but he wasn’t just the solitary guy that no one noticed. Heeseung, with his glasses and always pensive expression, was also the type of guy who knew how to flirt with girls, but never really committed. He was an ambivert, so sometimes he seemed distant, at other times perplexing, and sometimes even charming, especially with girls. And with Y/n, he had a very different interest: he was obsessed with her innocence. Y/n, the perfect girl on campus, seemed to have stepped out of a dream. Long, curly hair that sparkled in the sunlight, eyes as clear as the summer sea, and skin so pale it seemed almost unreal. She was the silent queen among the girls, always elegant, flawless, and dressed like a good girl. Her innocence was almost tangible, an aura that made her irresistible to everyone. But Heeseung didn’t just see the angelic Y/n. He saw her as a target. A target to conquer, yes, but not in the way the other guys would. For him, the allure was in stripping away that aura of purity. He knew Y/n was a virgin, and in some way, he found that incredibly exciting. He wanted to see how she would react, wanted to uncover her darker side, the one no one knew. He wanted to ruin her. Heeseung’s thoughts were often fueled by less-than-innocent fantasies. He imagined her, saw her in his mind, stripped of her virginal calmness, shaken, like a butterfly caught in his net. Yet, despite his desire to break her, he always did it from a distance. He watched her from afar, observing every movement, every smile Y/n gave to the world, while he noticed the imperfections no one else could see. He had never really approached her. They had only spoken twice—once at a bonfire party when she had asked him where the bathroom was, and another time when they had bumped into each other in the corridor on campus. Nothing much. Yet, for him, every single exchange had been like an electric shock. Almost enough to send him into a frenzy. It was a late summer afternoon, and the heat outside seemed endless. The cicadas sang, emitting a constant sound that almost seemed to scream, "even hotter." Heeseung was behind the counter, focused on the computer while checking the shipments. The bookstore, now empty, didn’t see many customers, especially since people had started to prefer online shopping. It was one of the few places still holding live readings on the terrace overlooking the ocean, but those events only attracted a handful of enthusiasts. It was the usual boring afternoon when the sound of the door opening interrupted the monotony. A soft, familiar voice, almost blending with the wind, made him look up. And there she was, standing in front of him.
Y/n. Her light dress, a white sundress, fluttered just above her body, revealing the swimsuit underneath. The sun illuminated her, creating a sort of halo around her. Her tanned skin seemed to shine under the afternoon rays. The strap of her dress was slightly slipping down, exposing part of her swimsuit, and Heeseung couldn’t help but notice. A shiver of desire ran down his spine. "It's ridiculously hot outside," said, smiling. Your voice was cool, like the sound of a sea breeze. "I'm tired of being at the beach, so I thought I'd come grab a book. My roommates are dying to get away from university and read a few books under the sun, and they told me to buy some books that are going viral on TikTok." Heeseung snapped out of his daze and, trying to stay calm, responded, "Of course, no problem. What books did you order?" His tone tried to sound natural, but he couldn’t hide the unease that was growing inside him. His gaze once again fell on her dress, the strap slowly slipping off her shoulder, as if it wanted to reveal even more. His mind was immediately overtaken by mischievous images and desires he couldn’t suppress. You pulled out your phone and looked at the titles of the books spotted on her FYP. "So… let's see… A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Clair, The Deal by Elle Kennedy, and Twisted Love by Ana Huang," you said, smiling innocently, but Heeseung immediately sensed the spark those romantic and “spicy” books evoked. He raised an eyebrow, trying to keep the playful tone, but a small mischievous smile crept across his face. "I didn’t think the perfect, innocent girl on campus would be reading books like that," he said, almost challenging you. There was something in the way you looked at him that made him feel more uneasy, but at the same time, it also made him feel closer to her.
You, of course, blushed immediately. Your cheeks turned bright red as you looked down. "Well," you said with a nervous laugh, "everyone, even people older than me, has stumbled upon spicy romance. It's not that strange, right?" You tried to downplay it, but your face betrayed your insecurity. Heeseung couldn’t hold back a smile as he watched your reactions. The sweetness of Y/n always struck him, but now there was a different vibe. A vibe of complicity that he had never felt before. "A secret, huh?" he said, moving slightly closer to the counter, his smile becoming more intense. "I’m not as innocent as I seem," he added, lowering his eyes onto you with a look that was anything but innocent. His mind began to wander into darker, more sensual territories, imagining what it would feel like to touch your skin under his hands. You looked at him, your crystal-clear eyes now a bit confused, while your lips curved into a shyer, almost uncertain smile. Your sweetness, that same innocence that had always drawn Heeseung to you, made him feel conflicted. He wanted to know that side of you that no one seemed to be able to see. But his mind, growing more crowded with perverted thoughts, couldn’t stop. He could still see the strap of your dress slipping slightly, almost as if inviting him to look more closely. He wanted to pull it down even further, to discover what was underneath. You, unaware of the thoughts Heeseung was having, shifted slightly, trying to appear more at ease. "Yet, it’s not that strange," you repeated, trying not to seem too embarrassed. "After all, I’m part of Gen Z, right? We’ve got our secrets too."
Heeseung looked at you, his smile growing bolder as he observed you with amusement. "Are you sure you want to share them with me?" he asked, his voice now lower as if he were playing with you as if there were an unspoken challenge between you two. You, now almost completely red, felt torn between wanting to run away and wanting to continue that conversation. "I think it’s a secret you should keep to yourself," you replied nervously, trying to distance yourself from the moment that was becoming heavier with tension. Heeseung looked at you with more intense eyes, his smile more knowing than ever. "Maybe one day, when you’re not so… innocent anymore, I’ll reveal it," he said, as a flash of desire crossed his gaze. You, with your innocence mixed with embarrassment, could no longer keep your heart from racing. "Maybe," you replied, trying to joke, but the way Heeseung looked at you made you feel something strange in your chest. It was a tension that grew stronger, like the heat filling the summer air, as both of you felt trapped between desire and embarrassment.
"I didn’t prepare them, but you can easily find them in the BookTok and Romance section, right at the corner of the bookstore," Heeseung said with a smile that hinted at a bit of amusement. His voice was softer, almost as if he was trying to mask the little game he was playing. You smiled excitedly, your eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, like a puppy eager to run to a playground. "I can’t wait to check them out!" you exclaimed, your tone light and cheerful. "My roommates sent me tons of aesthetic TikTok videos. The fan art was amazing!" As you said that, you approached the counter with a confident step, your white dress moving delicately, revealing your tanned skin that Heeseung tried not to stare at for too long. But he couldn’t help noticing it, especially with your straps slightly slipping down, almost as if inviting him to look. Heeseung gestured for you to follow the path to the corner, where the section was hidden between shelves full of books. As you walked together, his mind filled with thoughts he tried to push away but couldn’t ignore.
"So… what are they about exactly?" he asked, trying to sound casual, although his gaze was a little more intense than before.
"Well," you replied, "in Twisted Love, there’s this incredible chemistry between the main characters. If I’m not mistaken, he’s the best friend of the protagonist's brother with a dark past, and there’s a lot of tension, and... well, let's just say calling it ‘spicy’ is an understatement," you said, laughing with a hint of mischief. "But I love these dark romance dynamics! The spiciest part is when she realizes she wants something more. And then... well, I’ll let you find out."
Heeseung stopped and looked at you, a small mischievous smile playing on his lips. "I figured," he said. "And what about The Deal by Elle Kennedy? Do you like sports? Hockey, right?"
"Hockey!" you exclaimed, a bit surprised by the question. "I don’t know much about it, to be honest. But... I’ve heard it’s one of the best in the series." Your voice was light and sincere, but you couldn’t hide a slight hesitation. "And then... the main characters have this amazing chemistry. She’s a total chatterbox, and he’s a bit grumpy at first, but then they start to discover each other. I think I’ll like it!" you added, trying to sound more confident.
Heeseung chuckled softly. "It is, and one of the spiciest too, if I may say," he said, his tone playful but with a hint of provocation. "It might surprise you." His eyes couldn’t seem to look away from you, from your crystal-clear eyes reflecting the sunset light, from your golden skin that seemed to almost invite him to do something more... intimate.
You became a bit more serious as if trying to understand better what Heeseung was trying to imply. "I think the spiciest one, though, is Twisted Love," you replied without hesitation, with a smile that carried a bit of complicity. "I don’t think you’d fully understand it. Let’s just say... it’s spicier than you think."
Heeseung looked at you with a mixture of curiosity and a hint of challenge in his eyes. "And how do you know all these things?" he asked, keeping his smile. "I didn’t picture you as so… experienced," he added lightly, with that little bit of flirtation he couldn’t hide. You laughed, but the laugh was shy, almost embarrassed. "Well, it’s another secret," you said, giving a little wave of your hand, as if trying to keep that little mystery. "Don’t tell anyone, okay?" Heeseung watched you, his hands in his pockets as he followed you along the shelves. "Another secret, huh?" he said, his smile widening a little, his eyes seeming to never want to look away from yours. Every word coming from your mouth felt like a little game between you two as if you were both trying to discover something more, bit by bit. But in the meantime, his hands were slightly sweating. The tension between you two was palpable, like the warm, dense air that filled the bookstore. Finally, Heeseung took the books you had chosen, one by one, and carefully placed them on the counter. "Here you go," he said, his voice lower now, almost a whisper. "All the books you’re looking for." You moved to pay, and while he did, Heeseung couldn’t stop watching you. His heart was pounding harder. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. Your skin, the way the sundress moved delicately on your body, your straps continuing to slip down slowly… It was all so tempting. When you grabbed the bag with the books, you turned to Heeseung and smiled at him with an air of complicity. "See you around, Heeseung," you said with a smile that was as innocent as it was dangerous. Heeseung was stunned, his heart skipping a beat inside him. How did she know his name? She had called him by his name. How was that possible? His thoughts started to whirl, and soon a flood of perverse images filled his mind. "See you…" he mumbled, still confused. "Y-yeah, see you…" he said, trying to mask the whirlwind of emotions he was feeling. You walked away, leaving the bookstore, while Heeseung stayed there, watching you leave.
It had been a week since the last time he had seen you, and on the bookstore's website, you had written that you would stop by to buy more books. The sky over the coastal town had turned gray a few hours ago, and the streets had been suddenly flooded by a torrential downpour that forced everyone to seek shelter. Heeseung, however, had stayed in the bookstore, nervously staring at the clock on the wall. 5:30 PM. You had told him you’d come by, and he – in a way he wouldn’t even admit to himself – had even switched his shift to be there. He had fixed his bangs at least ten times in the reflection of the computer, carefully chosen what to wear – no glasses this time, a slightly oversized t-shirt, and dark jeans, trendy enough not to look too nerdy – but there was no sign of you. He had almost convinced himself that you weren’t coming when the sound of the bell on the door made him snap his gaze upward. And there you were, soaked, with your hoodie completely drenched on your head, the light t-shirt sticking to your body from the water, and the only piece of clothing still somewhat intact and not fully wet were your light denim shorts, hugging your legs as if they were tailor-made. The wet fabric of your shirt, however, betrayed the secret hidden underneath: the pink bikini you wore was perfectly visible, and Heeseung suddenly felt very, very hot. But then, instead of complaining like most girls would have, you burst out laughing.
"Didn’t you hear the weather forecast? The rainy season has started," Heeseung remarked, crossing his arms over his chest while desperately trying not to look at you too intensely.
You shook the water off yourself, still laughing. "I was a little busy, actually," you said cheerfully, with a bit of cheekiness. "I was studying… or maybe I was too caught up in the spicy books you recommended."
Heeseung’s breath caught for a second. He looked at you, slightly shocked but mostly amused.
"...So you read the spiciest ones?"
You smiled, tilting your head to the side as you dropped your hoodie on the nearest chair. "Of course."
Heeseung swallowed. There was something dangerous in the way you were looking at him like you were playing with him as if you were enjoying seeing how far you could make him crumble. And he wasn’t the type to be cornered easily.
He took a step closer, lowering his gaze slightly. "So tell me, then… which one was your favorite?" he asked, his voice lower, slower.
Your eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "Mmh... hard to say," you murmured, biting your lip slightly. "But I think Twisted Love was the most... intense."
Heeseung smiled, the more dangerous side of him beginning to show. "Intense, huh?" You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest in an involuntary gesture that almost drove him insane – because the movement highlighted how the wet shirt clung to your body. He looked down, and you caught him in the act. With two fingers, you gently lifted his chin, making him look you in the eyes.
"My face is higher, Heeseung."
He held his breath, holy hell, you were provoking him,
he swallowed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain some control. "Do you need a dry t-shirt?" "That would be nice of you," you replied with a smirk. Heeseung sighed, shaking his head as he turned toward the back door. "Come with me, I’ve got one in the locker room." You followed him into the small room behind the counter, where the shelves with the bookstore supplies and lockers for the staff were. Heeseung opened his locker, pulling out a white basketball shirt with a number printed on the back. "It’s the only one I have." You took it, looking at it for a moment before lifting your gaze to him. "It’s huge on me." Heeseung leaned his shoulder against the locker, crossing his arms. "Better that way." You raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Why?" He moistened his lips, looking at you with that intense gaze. "Because at least it covers everything." He challenged you to say something, but you just shrugged, turning your back to him to change. "Heeseung," you called softly. He turned his gaze away. "Tell me." "Don’t suppose you have any shorts, too?" He ran a hand over his face. Holy shit, he was screwed!
Heeseung looked at you for a moment, as if he were processing your request. He did indeed have a pair of basketball shorts in his locker, but giving you his clothes meant imagining you in them. Imagining you without yours, and that simple thought was enough to send him into a spiral. "I only have these basketball shorts…" he finally said, scratching the back of his neck while pulling the garment out. You reached out to take them. "They’ll be fine, I’ll just tighten them with the elastic." He hesitated, still uncertain, before handing them to you. And then, he stood there, dumbfounded. You smiled, tilting your head slightly as a mischievous spark flashed in your eyes. "Do you want me to give you a private striptease?" Heeseung’s eyes widened, and he raised his hands in surrender. "No! No, absolutely—" But the Adam's apple that trembled slightly betrayed every word of rejection. Without saying anything, without even giving him time to process what you were about to do, you moved your hands to your jeans and casually slid them down, letting them fall down your legs. Heeseung swallowed audibly and saw the pink bikini you were wearing hug your hips, accentuating your golden tan. The fabric stretched perfectly over your wet skin, tracing every curve in a way that Heeseung found unfair. His eyes were glued to your legs, to the way the water left little glowing trails on your skin. He should have looked away. He should have. But it was as if his body had suddenly disobeyed him.
Then, you reached out and took the shorts from his fingers, but in doing so, your fingers brushed against his. Without thinking, you guided his hand to your bare thigh. Heeseung felt like he was dying. Shit. He was touching you. Your skin was warm, and smooth, and the contrast with his slightly colder fingers made him shudder. You lifted your gaze to him, amused. "No guy has ever touched me so close to an intimate part." His fingers tightened imperceptibly on your skin. If only you knew the things running through his mind right now. His thoughts were dirty. Too dirty: he imagined the skin beneath his fingers burning against his palm, he imagined his hands slowly moving up— No. Stop. He swallowed again, trying to hold on to some semblance of composure. "Why me?" he asked finally, his voice a little hoarser than usual. You smiled. "Because you look at me differently." Heeseung stayed silent. Differently. Oh, if only you knew how much. His gaze had never been innocent. He had watched you from afar for too long, studying the way you moved, the way you smiled at everyone as if you were untouchable. Yet here you were, with his hand on your thigh, letting him do something no one else had ever been allowed to. He stared at you for a few seconds, then let out a small crooked smile. "Maybe it's better if you don’t know why." A jab. You caught it instantly but pretended not to notice. Or maybe you just wanted to keep playing. With agonizing slowness, you took one of his fingers and guided it along the edge of your bikini, right on your stomach. Heeseung stiffened, and you heard him quietly breathe as his finger slid over your skin, following the fabric's line to your hip. It was the final blow. He shuddered slightly, his fingers trembling as if fighting a primal instinct. But then you moved away, laughing, and slipped into his basketball shorts, tightening the elastic at your waist. Heeseung forced himself to take a step back, running a hand over his face as if to recover. The problem? You still hadn’t taken off your shirt, and he wasn’t sure he could survive the next scene. Heeseung felt the heat rise dangerously along his neck, all the way to his ears. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where to look. It had already been hell watching you take off your jeans in front of him with such casualness, feeling the heat of your skin under his fingers, as if you had intentionally decided to drive him mad. And now this? You had taken off your soaked shirt with no shame, and the pink bikini you were wearing seemed painted onto your body. Damn, perfect.
His jaw tightened as his eyes involuntarily slid down to your chest, full and soft, the light fabric of your bikini clinging too well, revealing your hardened nipples from the cold. Holy. Shit. He cleared his throat, desperately trying to maintain control, but the smirk on your lips made it clear that you had noticed. "What's wrong, Heeseung?" you asked with an overly calculated innocence. "Have you never seen a girl in a bikini?" Something changed in his eyes. You were playing. And if there was one thing Heeseung knew, it was how to change the rules of the game. He suddenly became more serious, a shadow of a smile tugging at his lips. "You're aware you're playing with fire, right?" His voice was lower, deeper. You tilted your head, biting your lip. "Really?" He took a step forward. And you didn’t back away. Another step. And your chest brushed against his. Heeseung knew he should step back, he should stop you, stop himself—but he didn’t. Without thinking, he placed a hand on your back, his warm fingers sliding down the curve of your spine until they found the thin strap of your bikini. Your breath hitched in your throat. He was taller than you, and when he leaned in slightly, his eyes found yours, locked, dark, filled with something that made your legs shake. "What if I wanted to undo it?" he whispered, his fingers dangerously playing with the knot at the back of your bikini. A shiver ran down your spine. Heeseung lowered his voice even further. "What would people think if they walked in and found you with your bare chest, hm?" You smiled faintly. "You would never." A flash of amusement passed through his gaze. "Oh no?" You moved even closer, rising just a little on the tips of your toes, your body perfectly aligned with his. Your chest pressed against his, and Heeseung held his breath. Then you smiled again, tilting your head slightly. "You would never because you want to be the only one to see me naked."
A low moan escaped from Heeseung's lips, so quiet that you almost didn’t hear it. Almost. The tension between you became unbearable, and before he could react, before he could do anything, you rose on your toes again and pulled him closer, your hands gripping the collar of his shirt as your lips found his. You kissed him.
With passion, with desire, with an intensity that Heeseung never expected. And him? He didn’t think twice before kissing you back. Your lips against his were an explosion—it was the third kiss you’d ever given in your life. But with Heeseung… it was different. It was bolder, more intense, more desperate. He was the first to surprise you, because despite his grumpy and sarcastic demeanor, he kissed with a sweetness that made your legs tremble, but at the same time, there was something fierce in the way his lips moved against yours, something necessary, as if he had desired you for too long to hold back. And you? You weren’t any different. Your hands had gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, your chest pressed against his, the heat between you becoming unbearable. You felt the taste of his breath mingling with yours, the faint swipe of his tongue against yours, which made you moan softly into his mouth. That small sound was his undoing. Heeseung grunted slightly, his hands tightening around your waist with more determination, and the kiss became more intense. Deeper. More hungry. His lips moved against yours in perfect rhythm, sometimes slow, sometimes more aggressively, as if he wanted to learn every single angle of your mouth as if he wanted to mark you. His tongue caressed yours again, and you shivered slightly, your chest rising and falling in heavy breaths as his hands slid down your back, pulling you even closer. When you pulled away, both of your breaths were uneven, your chest rising rapidly against his. Your lips were swollen, and slightly reddened, and without even thinking about it, you bit your lower lip, savoring the taste of Heeseung in your mouth. He stared at you. With those dark eyes that seemed to devour you. "Stop," he muttered, his voice low and slightly husky. You tilted your head, confused. "What?" you asked with your usual calculated innocence. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. "Stop biting your lip like that, it makes me want to kiss you again. And bite you."
A dangerous smile slowly spread across your lips. With absolute nonchalance, you reached out a hand, your fingers slipping through his soft hair, gently pulling him downward until his breath mingled once again with yours. Your voice became a warm whisper against his mouth. "Then why don’t you bite me?" His pupils dilated. You lowered your chin slightly, bringing his face even closer to your body. "Maybe… here?" you suggested innocently, brushing the edge of your bikini at your chest, the fabric stretching against your skin. Heeseung swallowed. The air around you thickened. "You’re playing with fire," he whispered. You tilted your head with a golden retriever girl look, your usual sweet smile on your lips. "What if I want to burn?" Heeseung clenched his jaw. He hated you. He hated you because he knew you were playing, testing his self-control, wanting to see how far he would go. But most of all, he hated that you were winning. His hand moved slowly, caressing your warm skin as it slid along your side, reaching the thin fabric of your bikini covering your breast, and you held your breath. His eyes found yours as his fingers gently grazed the curve of your chest, almost with reverence. "No one’s ever touched you here, have they?" he asked, his voice low and slightly raspy. You shook your head. He smiled faintly, his eyes igniting with a dangerous kind of desire. "I thought so." And then, slowly, he lowered his head, his warm breath brushing your skin. His mouth barely touched the fabric of your bikini where your nipple had hardened beneath the cloth. The first thing you felt was the heat of his lips, then the slight pressure of his teeth, nibbling gently, almost testing your reaction. A shiver ran through you, and then a sound escaped your lips. A muffled moan, a moan that contained his name. "Hee…" It was his undoing. Heeseung closed his eyes, his thoughts now completely clouded by desire. He had imagined you this many times beneath him. He had imagined you with flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and your warm body beneath his. He had imagined you with heavy breath, his name slipping from your lips in that sweet, innocent tone that drove him wild. But now? Now it was real. And damn, you were even more beautiful than he had imagined. Heeseung continued to lick and bite at the small bud still covered by your light bikini, and every time his mouth pushed and licked at the fabric, you arched your back, pulling his hair. You didn’t think that such a simple gesture could make you go wild and crave more, but Heeseung pulled away from your skin with one last bite on the taut bud of your breast, still covered by the bikini, and you shivered, the warmth of his breath making your skin tingle. Instinctively, your fingers tightened in his soft hair, pulling him slightly, and he fully pulled away, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed slowly.
Then he sighed as if trying to regain control over himself.
"Raise your arms," he ordered in a tone that brooked no argument.
You looked at him with eyes still a little dreamy, your lips swollen from the kiss earlier.
"Why?"
He tilted his head, his gaze dropping for a moment to your bikini, still slightly damp. "Because if you stay like this in front of me, I might do something I shouldn’t."
Your skin heated. Despite his authoritative tone, his voice was slightly hoarse, and for a moment, you felt the urgency of his desire.
You bit your lip—which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed—and then slowly raised your arms above your head.
Heeseung slid his large shirt over you with a slow and careful gesture, as if trying not to touch you for too long. But when the fabric settled over your body, a faint smile brushed his lips.
You were beautiful.
His shirt was too big for you, the soft fabric sliding over your body, the sleeves reaching past your hands. The scent of Heeseung enveloped you instantly, a mix of light cologne and something more masculine, more his. You felt your cheeks warm slightly, suddenly shy, and he noticed, of course. Without missing a beat, he smiled sideways, one eyebrow slightly raised.
"So... today I discovered another secret," he said with a playful air.
You tilted your head, curious. "And what would that be?"
He chuckled softly, his voice low and velvety. "...that you’re not so innocent after all."
Your heart skipped a beat.
You looked at him, trying to figure out if he was joking, but in his eyes, there was only amusement—and something darker, more dangerous.
In a spontaneous gesture, you reached out and offered him your pinky.
He raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
"Pinky swear," you said with a sweet smile.
He stared at you for a moment as if he couldn’t believe that, after everything that had happened, you were still you, the girl who always smiled and seemed to see the bright side of everything.
Then he smiled, shaking his head slightly before intertwining his pinky with yours.
"I won’t tell anyone," he promised.
✦
After a few minutes, you left the private room, and he led you to the romance section of the bookstore.
"I want to recommend something better," he said, running his fingers along the spines of the books.
"Better than what I've read so far?" you asked with a small smile.
He shot you a challenging look. "Let's see... this one is without any spice," he said, handing you a book with a pastel-colored cover and a sweet title.
You took it, slightly surprised. "Wow, so you think I need purer reading?"
He laughed, but didn't respond.
Instead, he grabbed another book and handed it to you, this time with a dark cover and an eye-catching font.
You looked at it more closely.
"Oh my God," you whispered, recognizing the title. "This is super spicy."
He smiled to the side. "But it’s also one of the best stories. Trust me."
Your eyes sparkled with excitement as you hugged both books to your chest.
Then you turned to him with your usual bright smile.
"Well, see you, Heeseung."
✦ Later, after a warm shower, you slipped under the covers with your hair still slightly damp. The book he recommended was already in your hands, but before opening it, you grabbed your phone. You hesitated for a moment, biting your lip, and then, without thinking too much, you typed his name on Instagram. Follow. The notification popped up on his profile right away. And you couldn't help but think about how stupid you'd been for never noticing him seriously before today.
The days had passed with the same routine: mornings dedicated to studying, afternoons at the beach with friends or relaxing in the pool at your villa, with the breathtaking view of the ocean. Yet, despite everything seeming perfect, there was one constant thought in your mind. Heeseung. You were too embarrassed to go back to the bookstore after what had happened, but at the same time... you wanted to get to know him more. You’d spent more time than necessary scrolling through his Instagram profile, browsing through pictures of him with his friends, images of him playing basketball, posts about his favorite video games, his travels, and his style—always a little effortless but terribly attractive. The more you watched, the more you felt a slight shiver of anxiety because, to be honest, you had never had a real crush on anyone before now. And that scared you, but if there was one thing you were good at, it was coming up with excuses. So, nonchalantly, you wrote to him on Instagram. - “Heyy, I forgot to order three books that were recommended to me! Can you bring them to me? Pls 🥺”
And he, after a few hours, responded: - “You’ll have to pay me double for the home delivery. 😉”
You smiled like an idiot in front of the screen. And now, here you were, lying on a poolside lounger, wearing sunglasses and a new swimsuit, when the voice of your maid made you lift your head. 'There’s a cute guy at the door with a package for you.' You immediately brightened up; your plan was working. You quickly tied the sheer sarong around your waist, leaving your purple bikini with daisies peeking out.
Above, you didn’t bother to cover yourself—just the bikini, sunglasses, and the smile of someone who knew exactly what they were doing. You walked calmly to the entrance, and when you saw him, you couldn’t hold back a small amused smile. Heeseung looked like a confused puppy. His eyes were wide as he observed the entrance of the villa, hands in his pockets, the look of someone who felt slightly out of place. When he noticed you, his cheeks turned a light shade of red. You were winning, Heeseung didn’t know what to say. He’d already seen you in a swimsuit, but now the situation was completely different. Here, in your villa, under the blazing sun, with your skin still damp from the pool and your mischievous smile, you seemed like you’d just stepped out of a forbidden dream, and his thoughts immediately turned dirty. Damn, you were perfect. The daisies on your bikini seemed deliberately placed to distract him, the sheer sarong did nothing but make him even more frustrated, and your damp hair fell perfectly on your shoulders, driving him crazy. “Do you like my villa, Hee?” you teased, tilting your head with an innocent air. He cleared his throat and nodded quickly. “Yeah... yeah, it’s very nice.” He handed you the envelope with your books, but you didn’t take it immediately. “In exchange, I’ll offer you a lemonade.” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, hesitant. “I don’t want to disturb you, I need to go back to the bookstore.” You ignored his excuse and, without giving him time to protest, grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him toward the pool. It was hot, his skin burning under your fingers, and when you reached the pool’s edge, you handed him a glass of iced lemonade and gave him a fake pout. “I’d be offended if you didn’t drink it and tell me what you think.” Heeseung let out a small smile. “Oh yeah? Are you that sensitive to criticism?” “Only the ones that matter to me,” you replied, winking at him. He shook his head, amused, and brought the glass to his lips. Bad, very bad, because you casually watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed, sweat running down his collarbone, and the way the sun highlighted every line of his muscular arms. When he finished, he looked at you with a mischievous grin. “I didn’t know you were also talented at making lemonade.” You burst out laughing. “Hee, do you realize what you just said?” He thought about it for a moment, then covered his face with his hand. “Shit, I didn’t mean to—” “Too late,” you teased, stretching out on the lounger, relaxed. He, however, seemed slightly uncomfortable—awkward, out of place. “You can sit here,” you said, pointing to the lounger next to yours. “I told you I have to—” “Heeseung, it’s August 15th,” you interrupted, taking off your sunglasses and looking him straight in the eyes. “No one is going to the bookstore today. And with this heat, are you sure you want to go back there?” For a moment, you thought he’d come up with another excuse, but instead— without thinking twice, he took off his shirt, and damn, Heeseung knew exactly what game you were playing. The problem? He was also really good at playing, but at the same time, he looked at you a little shyly.
You burst out laughing. “What’s wrong, Heeseung? Are you shy to take a swim with me?” He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, but the redness on his cheeks betrayed him. “Your maid is here.” You raised an eyebrow, holding back a mischievous smile. “So?” Heeseung stiffened slightly, avoiding your gaze. That’s when you understood. “Oh my God,” you chuckled, giving his bicep a light tap. “And you’d be the innocent one, huh?” He scratched the back of his neck, biting the inside of his cheek. “I didn’t say I was innocent.” You looked at him for a moment, your smile becoming even more amused. “No, indeed. You’re not innocent at all.” Without saying another word, you untied your sarong and slowly slipped it off, knowing full well that Heeseung’s eyes were glued to you. He swallowed. Damn, you were incredible. You sat on the edge of the pool, letting your legs slide into the cool water, letting the sun kiss your skin. Heeseung didn’t move, he looked petrified. “So?” you pressed, swinging your feet in the water. You didn’t give him time to say anything else. You slid into the pool, diving in with an innate elegance. It was your element, and when you started swimming underwater, you decided to push it further, moving agilely between the bubbles, holding your breath for longer than usual, hiding among the reflections in the pool. When did you surface? You didn’t. And that’s when Heeseung started to worry. His jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed, and without thinking twice, he dove in. Underwater, you saw him coming towards you—fast, strong. His movements were precise, fluid, and for a second, you got distracted watching him, but then you decided to have some fun. With a sudden flick, you slipped behind his back, and before he could react, you grabbed him and pulled him backward. He opened his eyes underwater, surprised. When he resurfaced, you were there, your face lit up by a radiant smile. “Are you crazy?” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “Don’t exaggerate, Hee. I was just playing,” you replied, chuckling. He shook his head, running a hand over his wet face. “How the hell do you hold your breath for so long?” You shrugged. “Like you love basketball, I love everything to do with water.” He looked at you intently, and for the first time, he seemed genuinely fascinated. Drops slid down his face, his wet fringe falling on his forehead, his lips slightly chapped from the sun, and damn—those shoulders, those muscles, everything about him seemed sculpted to perfection. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from staring too much, but it was impossible. Without thinking, you reached out and ruffled his hair, laughing. “You’re gorgeous, Heeseung.” He froze. He cleared his throat, trying to cover up the little cough that slipped out. “What?” You smiled, amused by his reaction. “You heard me perfectly.” He lowered his gaze, biting the inside of his cheek. “No girl has ever told me something like that.” You were surprised. “Really?” He nodded, shyly. “Well,” you shrugged. “I was just telling the truth.” Before he could reply, you dove again, swimming to the other side of the pool with the grace of a mermaid. When you turned around, he was still there. Motionless, staring at you. You leaned against the edge of the pool and shouted, “Are you going to stay there stuck for the rest of your life, or are you going to come closer?” It was like you had woken him up from a dream, his eyes darkened, his expression hardened, and then—he moved. He swam towards you with determination, with an intensity that made you hold your breath. When he arrived in front of you, you found yourself pressed against the pool’s edge, and him? He was so close that you could feel the warmth of his body contrasting with the cool water.
The light touch of your fingers along the contours of his face made him tense for a moment. With the tip of your index finger, you traced the line of his jaw, then moved up to his lips, barely brushing them.
"You know I like them?" you whispered, your eyes locked onto his.
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, trying to maintain his usual aloof attitude, but the redness on his ears betrayed him. "What?"
"Your lips," you replied with a mischievous smile.
He cleared his throat, lowering his gaze for a moment. "Ah."
You bit the inside of your cheek, amused. "And do you like mine?"
Heeseung remained silent for a second, then shook his head with a smirk. "Too confident."
"Answer," you pressed, tilting your head slightly.
He stared at you for a few seconds, but instead of answering immediately, he lifted a hand and began to touch you gently.
"Your hair," he murmured, twirling a curly strand between his fingers. "I like it."
He playfully pinched the curl, making you laugh.
"Your eyes," he continued, lowering his lashes as his fingers traced the curve of yours. "Your lashes are long, almost annoyingly perfect."
His fingertip slid down the bridge of your nose. "Your little nose too," he added, tracing its shape with a light, barely perceptible touch.
And finally, he reached your lips. His thumb slowly glided along your lower lip, stopping right at the center.
"Your lips," he said, his voice slightly huskier. "I’d want to kiss them all the time."
A shiver ran down your spine, but you couldn't let him win that easily. You raised an eyebrow, pretending to be unfazed. "And?"
Heeseung smirked.
"Too much attention for just one girl, don't you think?"
You shrugged with a playful smile. "Maybe I deserve it."
He narrowed his eyes slightly, tilting his head. "Maybe."
And then—he ran a finger along the side of your neck, his touch barely there on your wet skin.
He brought his lips close to your ear, his warm breath tickling your skin. "Your neck," he murmured. "Because I want to kiss it and mark you."
A shiver shot down your spine, and fuck, Heeseung noticed—but he didn’t stop. His fingers slid slowly along your collarbone, then lower, brushing over the soft curve of your breast.
He barely touched it before pressing slightly, increasing the tension.
"This," he said in a low, deep voice, his touch almost hypnotic. "I’ve already bitten and kissed it."
He lifted his gaze to you, and in his eyes, there was something dark, something possessive.
"But I want to hear you moan my name while I do it again."
Your breath hitched in your throat. Damn.
His fingers trailed lower, moving down your stomach, while his warm breath ghosted over your neck. Then, he reached the edge of your swimsuit—but stopped there. His finger played with the fabric, teasing, waiting. And you realized—he wanted to see how far you were willing to push him.
You raised an eyebrow, suppressing a smirk. "What's wrong, Hee? Did you freeze up?"
Heeseung lifted his gaze to meet yours, his dark eyes burning into you.
"Careful, Y/N," he murmured, his voice deep and rough. "You love playing with fire too much."
Your arms wrapped around his neck as your legs instinctively locked around his waist. His breath hitched slightly, his eyes widening—not in shock, but in intrigue. His chest rose and fell faster, as if your touch alone was testing his self-control.
Then, without giving him time to react, you tilted your head and started kissing his neck, feeling his muscles tense under your lips.
"Y/N..." he whispered, his voice a mix of warning and want—but you didn’t stop.
If anything, you leaned in closer, brushing a soft kiss near his earlobe—and that’s when you heard it.
A low, strangled groan escaped his lips as his arms instinctively tightened around your waist, fingers digging into your damp skin.
A victorious smirk played on your lips before you went back to his neck, kissing and lightly biting that one spot you knew was his weakness.
"Hee," you teased, your voice nothing but a whisper. "I like your lips too."
You felt his jaw clench, as if he was struggling to hold himself back, but his hands gripped your hips even tighter.
Then, with innocent mischief, you leaned into his ear and whispered, "Lie down."
He raised an eyebrow, studying you—but you simply took his hand and led him toward the lounge chairs near the pool entrance.
He thought you were the one who wanted to lie down—only for you to push him back gently, making him settle onto the warm chair.
Heeseung looked up at you, his chest still rising and falling unevenly.
"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
You sat on the edge of the chair, the heat of the stone searing lightly against your skin.
"Studying," you replied with a playful smile—before lowering your head and beginning to kiss him.
First on his chest, leaving soft kisses and teasing bites as you traced his skin. Then, you moved lower, trailing kisses along his toned abs, and—damn.
For a bookworm who spent most of his time in the library, his body was surprisingly well-defined.
You looked up at him, biting your lip. "How the hell does a nerd—okay, fine, a basketball-playing nerd—have a body like this?"
He let out a low chuckle, trying to keep his composure. "Did you expect me to be some scrawny guy with glasses and a plaid shirt?"
"A little bit, yeah," you admitted, laughing.
"Library or not, I work out. I don’t spend all my time reading romance novels like you do."
You raised an eyebrow at his little jab, amused.
"Doesn’t seem like you mind," you shot back before kissing him again.
Your lips trailed further down his skin, reaching his navel—and right at that moment, Heeseung tensed up again
"Y/N, stop," he said, his voice lower now, wrapped in a veil of tension.
You stopped, lifting your gaze to meet his with a teasing smile. "Why?"
His jaw clenched, his eyes darkening as he stared at you intensely.
"Because if you keep going, I won’t be able to stop."
A shiver ran down your spine at his words, but instead of intimidating you, it only urged you to tease him more. Slowly, you lowered your hand, letting your fingers trail along the waistband of his swim trunks.
Heeseung held his breath. You looked up at him with a falsely innocent gaze.
"Like this?"
In an instant, he gently pushed you backward onto the lounge chair, making you lose balance for a second. His body hovered over yours, his hands framing your face, his dark eyes locked onto yours.
And this time, he was the one to kiss you first.
His lips pressed against yours with a softness that contrasted the firm way he had pushed you down. It was a slow kiss, but it carried something deeper—something possessive.
Heeseung wasn’t just kissing you—he was exploring, savoring, claiming every inch of your lips.
A faint moan escaped your throat as the sweet taste of lemonade mixed with his, making everything more intense, more electric. Your fingers tangled in his damp hair, pulling him even closer.
Heeseung felt your body press against his, your breath melding with his, and in that moment, he realized—this was better.
Better than all the filthy dreams he had about you. Better than any fantasy that had kept him awake at night, picturing you beneath him, moaning his name.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes roamed over your flushed face, your swollen lips parted slightly as you caught your breath.
"You’re beautiful," he whispered, his thumb tracing the outline of your mouth.
You lowered your gaze, a shy smile playing on your lips. "Will you say that again?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I bet you hear it every day."
You shook your head, ruffling his hair with your fingers. "It’s the first time someone has said it without jealousy or ulterior motives."
Heeseung frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"
You bit your lip, trying to gather your thoughts. "Girls usually resent me for it, and guys… well, the compliments I get are always shallow. No one’s ever looked at me the way you do."
For a moment, Heeseung remained silent. Then, with a small smile, he lowered his gaze and absentmindedly traced soft patterns along your side.
"So, what you’re saying is… I’m special?" he asked, a mischievous lilt in his voice.
You scoffed, feeling warmth creep up your neck. "Don’t turn this into an ego boost."
He chuckled, but his smile turned softer. "Too late, sweetheart."
You stiffened slightly.
"Sweetheart?" you repeated, surprised.
Heeseung noticed your reaction and tilted his head in amusement. "I can’t call you that?"
You weren’t entirely sure why, but hearing that nickname from him sent a shiver down your spine. You gave him a small nod, avoiding his gaze out of embarrassment.
"Can I ask you something?" you asked, hoping your voice wouldn’t betray too much emotion.
Heeseung stared at you for a moment before nodding. "Tell me." His dark eyes studied you, and the mix of embarrassment and boldness in your expression made him realize you were about to ask something intimate.
His fingers on your waist stilled, his thumb tracing slow circles on your still-damp skin.
You lowered your gaze, biting your lip. Your hands fidgeted nervously, but there was determination in your posture. "I… I’ve never been touched there. Only by myself."
Heeseung’s pupils dilated slightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.
It was strange—he was usually the one who always knew what to say, the one with a teasing remark ready to throw at you. But now? Now he was completely thrown off.
"You…" he started, but then stopped, wetting his lips.
You lifted your gaze and, barely above a whisper, confessed, "I was wondering if… if you wanted to."
Silence. The only sounds were the distant crashing of waves and the frantic beating of your heart against your ribs.
Heeseung clenched his jaw, his gaze locked onto yours. For a moment, he almost looked conflicted. Then, moving slowly, he lowered his face closer to yours, his nose brushing against yours.
"Sweetheart," he whispered against your lips, his voice deeper than you’d ever heard it, "you do realize that if you say something like that to me… I won’t be able to hold back, right?"
Heeseung watched you from above with a mischievous grin, his dark eyes fixed on your still damp body. The costume adhered to your skin, making you feel even more exposed under his watchful gaze. He ran his tongue over his lips and leaned toward you, his fingers moving light on your thighs, barely touching you, enough to make you shudder. "Lie a little lower, pretty.” His voice was low, hoarse, an order disguised as a request. His hand gently pressed on your belly to guide you backwards. “I want to touch you better.” Nod without much thought, cheeks burning with anticipation.
He smiled, pleased. "Good girl," he whispered, sliding his finger along the edge of your bikini. "But remember that you can stop me whenever you want.” You nodded again, but you already knew that you would never do it. Her lips settled on the skin of your thighs, first with slow and soft kisses, then with small bites that made you wince.
His warm breath mingled with the cool pool air as his fingers drew invisible lines on your thighs. He caught you off guard when he looked down and whistled softly. "Cute... this is not pool water.” You opened your eyes wide, a shiver down your spine. "C-What?” Heeseung chuckled, a deep, cheeky sound, and slowly lowered the edge of your purple costume.
“Look. Are you so wet just because I touched and kissed you a little? Are you always so responsive?” You covered your face with your hands, embarrassed. “It never happened to me...”
He shook his head and with a quick movement gently took your wrists, moving your hands away from your face. His gaze became darker, more intense. “Don't hide.” His voice was more authoritarian now, deep and slow. “I want you to remember that the first one to make you feel that way was me.”
Your throat tightened, your breath trembled. His eyes did not leave your face, and you felt every inch of your skin catch fire under his gaze. He was grumpy, authoritarian and arrogant. And yet, you knew you never wanted to run away from him. Heeseung slid his fingers lower, touching your clit with slow, provocative movements. Your body reacted immediately, your hips involuntarily arched towards him, looking for more clutch.
"How cute," Heeseung muttered, looking at you with greedy eyes. "Before you were so cheeky, now what? Where did the girl he was taunting in the bookstore and the pool go?” You glanced at him, biting your lower lip. “I'm still here”
you replied, with a twinge of voice. He sneered. "Oh yes? Then show me.” And without giving you time to answer, he slid a finger into you. A groan escaped from your lips as your body adapted to the new feeling, unlike anything you had ever experienced. Your fingers had never been able to make you feel like this, and you knew it too.
“So tight, pretty, " he muttered, his voice a mixture of excitement and pure adoration. “And so wet just for me. Are you enjoying it?” He nodded frantically, unable to form words.
He chuckled. “Speak. I want to hear from you.” he whispered against your skin, adding another finger and increasing the pace. You felt like you were going to go crazy, and when his mouth drooped to graze your clit with your tongue, you screamed his name without even realizing it.
He moaned at you, the sound vibrating against your sensitive skin. "Damn, pretty you're already losing your slimy cum and you haven't even come between my fingers and between my lips,”
the muttered before returning to work your mouth and pump more of his long fingers inside your poor shiny cunt that he divinely took. His touch, his tongue, everything was too much, too intense, he caught you off guard when he pinched your breasts still covered by the bikini, and the pleasure completely overwhelmed you. Your hands found his hair and you pulled it hard as your body trembled under his touch.
You came moaning his name, no longer ashamed. Heeseung slowly peeled off, licking his lips with a satisfied look. He looked at you as you tried to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling frantically. "Beautiful," he muttered, running a finger down your leg. “And this time I want you to remember it well.”
The end-of-summer party had been organized by the student council on the open part of the beach. From your house’s terrace, you could already see the soft glow of the bonfires, the shadows of people laughing and dancing, the sound of the waves blending with the music playing in the background. The sky, however, wasn’t completely clear—shades of pink and white intertwined with deeper tones of violet, creating an almost magical atmosphere.
You quickly checked your phone: no rain forecast. Perfect.
You slipped into your sparkly butterfly top, paired with a bralette that was both sexy and sweet—just like you. A flowy white skirt brushed against your legs, and delicate sandals adorned your feet. Your curly hair cascaded over your shoulders, with two small braids framing your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled—you felt beautiful. But maybe, just maybe, you wanted to look beautiful for someone in particular.
For Heeseung.
You arrived at the party with a confident stride, immediately welcomed by the warmth of the crowd. Friends greeted you, laughter filled the air, and the salty scent of the sea mixed with the smoky aroma of burning wood. But as you talked, your eyes wandered, unconsciously searching for someone.
Lisa, of course, noticed right away. 'Looking for someone in particular?' she asked with a teasing smile.
You shook your head a little too quickly. “N-No! Just… looking around.”
Emma crossed her arms. -Mmmh, sure. Then why do your eyes keep landing in the same spot?-
You swallowed, trying to play it cool, but then—your heart skipped a beat.
There, near the shoreline, illuminated by the warm glow of the bonfires, stood Heeseung.
He was wearing a white shirt that highlighted the slight golden hue of his skin, paired with dark jeans that fit his tall, lean frame perfectly. His hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d run his fingers through it more than once. He was talking to Jay and Sunghoon, laughing from time to time, but… he wasn’t alone.
Next to him, a girl was clearly trying to monopolize his attention. She laughed dramatically at everything he said, touched his arm with too much familiarity, and tilted her head to the side every time she spoke.
And Heeseung?
He didn’t seem particularly interested—but he wasn’t pulling away either.
A faint sting prickled in your chest. It wasn’t jealousy… right?
You had never been jealous in your life—perhaps because you had never truly liked someone before. But now, with your eyes fixed on the scene in front of you, a faint burn crept from your stomach to your chest.
As if drawn by an invisible force, you turned to your friends. “I’m just going to say hi to someone.”
Lisa and Emma exchanged a knowing glance before nodding with amused smiles. You could hear their whispered comments behind you, but you paid them no mind. You had other things to focus on.
Walking confidently across the soft sand, you approached Heeseung’s bonfire and his group of friends. But instead of heading straight to him, you stopped nearby, pretending to be interested in something else entirely.
From there, you could hear the conversation clearly.
And just as you’d suspected, that girl was blatantly flirting with him.
“Anyway,” she licked her lips, tilting her head to the side, “I just can’t believe you’re still single, Heeseung.”
He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, already visibly uncomfortable. “Uh… yeah, well… it’s not that—”
She laughed, cutting him off. “No, seriously, it’s crazy! I mean, look at you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder with far too much familiarity. “Tall, handsome, those dark eyes… And I heard you play basketball, so I bet there’s a nice body under that shirt, huh?”
Jay and Sunghoon exchanged amused glances as Heeseung blushed slightly, lowering his head.
“Uh… I just play for fun, nothing serious,” he murmured, trying to downplay it.
She giggled again, stepping a little closer. “Oh, sure, sure. But I bet you’re super competitive, aren’t you? Guys like you always are. Tell me, what if we played… one-on-one? If I win, you buy me a drink. If you win… well, we’ll figure something out.”
Her voice had dropped lower, turning more suggestive.
You rolled your eyes.
How much longer did you have to endure this?
Letting out a small huff, tired of the conversation, you decided to step in.
With a mischievous smile, you approached Heeseung—just like you had done at the pool.
Wrapping your arms around his back, you completely caught him off guard.
His whole body tensed for a second before he spun around, eyes wide, his face turning an instant shade of red.
“Oh,” he stammered, visibly taken aback.
And the way he was looking at you… was exactly what you wanted.
His gaze traveled over you slowly, almost as if he didn’t know where to stop. The sparkly top highlighting your shoulders, the light skirt fluttering around your legs… your skin glowing under the firelight. He swallowed dryly, running a nervous hand through his hair yet again.
“Hey, Hee,” you greeted him with a sweet smile, laced with that teasing tone you knew always made him flustered.
“H-Hey…” he replied, dropping his gaze for a brief moment before bringing it back to you.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” you tilted your head to the side, feigning innocence.
The girl next to him looked at you with an expression teetering between surprise and annoyance.
“No, no,” Heeseung quickly interjected—too quickly. “We were just… uh…”
“Yes?” you smiled again, watching the way he bit the inside of his cheek, clearly flustered.
Jay chuckled quietly beside him, while Sunghoon covered his mouth to hide his amusement.
Heeseung cleared his throat, trying to collect himself, but the blush on his cheeks wasn’t going anywhere.
You, on the other hand, simply looked at him with soft amusement. Because you knew that, shy as he was, he would never back down from the game.
And indeed, after taking a deep breath, his eyes grew a little more certain.
“You have perfect timing,” he murmured with a hint of a smile. “I was just about to ask someone to save me.”
You burst into laughter while the girl next to him crossed her arms, visibly annoyed.
“Oh, so I’m your savior now?” you shot him a playful look.
He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I could get used to it.”
When you asked if he wanted to take a walk by the shore, he didn’t hesitate for even a second.
“Of course.” Then, without giving you a chance to say anything else, he grabbed your wrist and started walking, gently pulling you along with him.
The warmth of his skin against yours made you shiver slightly, but you tried not to let it show.
The sound of the party gradually faded as you walked away, leaving only the gentle crash of the waves against the shore and the soft creaking of the wooden pier beneath your feet.
“I never thought I’d see you dressed like this,” Heeseung murmured, breaking the silence.
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “And what exactly does that mean?”
He turned to look at you, with that usual mix of embarrassment and boldness in his gaze. Then, he ran a hand through his hair—a clear sign he was searching for the right words.
“It means that…” his eyes lowered slightly, scanning you carefully. “That you look beautiful.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to hide your smile.
“Oh? That’s already the third or fourth time you’ve said that.”
He let out a quiet laugh, lowering his head. “So what? You want me to stop?”
You shook your head, crossing your arms. “No, but at this point, you could at least switch up the compliments.”
He leaned in ever so slightly, tilting his head to the side. “Alright. Then can I tell you that you’re driving me crazy dressed like this?”
His voice was lower now, deeper, and the way he was looking at you sent a shiver down your spine.
You felt his hand graze your waist, warm against your bare skin.
You swallowed. “Better, definitely more original.”
He barely smiled. “See? I know how to tease too.”
You bit your lip, looking at him with playful amusement. “So, do you prefer me… or the girl you were flirting with?”
Heeseung scoffed, his expression almost irritated. “Flirting? Are you serious?”
His grip on your waist tightened slightly, making you gasp.
“She was the one flirting,” he continued, lowering his voice just a little. “Not me.”
He held your gaze for a few seconds before slowly leaning down toward your ear. His breath brushed against your skin.
“I’d choose you over any other girl.”
Your stomach tightened. Then, with an even softer whisper, he added:
“I’ve had so many dirty thoughts about you that I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”
Your breath caught for a second. You tried to compose yourself, but your cheeks were burning. So, to distract yourself, you teased him about something you knew would work.
“You’re too tall,” you muttered, looking up at him.
He raised an eyebrow, amused. “And you’re too small.”
You huffed, giving him a light push on the chest.
He chuckled. “If you want, I can bend down.”
And as he said it, he slowly lowered himself until your faces were just inches apart.
“Better like this?” he whispered.
Heeseung noticed that you were trembling slightly.
Without a word, he slipped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders with a slow, almost absentminded motion.
You looked up at him, gripping the fabric between your fingers. “Well, aren’t you a gentleman.”
He shrugged, feigning indifference. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
You giggled, pulling the jacket tighter around you. “And yet, you don’t really seem like the type to worry so much.”
He was about to answer when a loud clap of thunder shattered the silence, making both of you jump.
Then, as if the sky had been waiting for the perfect moment, small raindrops began to fall, cold against your skin, still warm from the party.
You burst into laughter.
“Well, I guess it’s fate,” you exclaimed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along with you.
Heeseung let himself be dragged without resistance, laughing softly as you ran along the beach, the rain growing heavier by the second.
“Every time we see each other, we always end up in the water!” you shouted, squeezing his hand and picking up the pace.
He shook his head, amused. “Maybe it’s a sign.”
You both laughed again, not stopping until you reached the small gazebo on your property.
Without thinking twice, he grabbed your waist and pulled you into a sudden embrace.
You felt his chest rise and fall against yours. His breathing was still uneven from the run.
Instead of pulling away, you lifted a hand and tousled his wet hair. “You’re soaked.”
He scoffed quietly. “So are you.”
Your gaze drifted down to his wet shirt, now completely see-through and clinging to his body.
You bit your lip without even realizing it.
“Okay… I have to admit,” you said, tracing a finger from his biceps down to his abs. “This shirt looks ridiculously good on you.”
Your fingers lightly brushed the skin beneath the fabric, cold and featherlight.
Heeseung shivered just slightly.
He raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
You looked up at him with that innocent expression he knew was anything but innocent. “Nothing.”
He knew you were playing.
But he didn’t expect what happened next.
You rose onto your tiptoes and, without hesitation, kissed him.
The kiss was sweet at first, slow and uncertain.
Your lips moved against his with an almost maddening gentleness, as if you wanted to savor him slowly, without rushing.
He gave in immediately, closing his eyes and resting his hands on your waist, gripping you lightly.
But then he felt your tongue barely graze his, a soft caress that made him let out a quiet moan against your lips—and everything changed.
The kiss deepened, becoming hungrier. His hands tightened on you, pulling you against him as his chest rose and fell unevenly.
Your body pressed perfectly against his, the soaked fabric leaving no space between you.
When you finally pulled away, he was panting slightly, his forehead resting against yours.
But then, with a smile that was both mischievous and impossibly sweet, you whispered:
“I want you.”
Heeseung froze, his eyes widening slightly, his fingers—once gently caressing your waist—now going still.
He stared at you, trying to understand if he had heard you correctly.
Okay. Okay, one thing was making up fantasies about you. One thing was touching himself in the shower while thinking about you. But now?
Now it was you—the girl everyone wanted, the sweetest girl he’d ever met—the one who teased him but also smiled at him with such innocent warmth—you were the one saying you wanted him.
And suddenly, he couldn’t think straight anymore.
Heeseung looked into your eyes, his breathing still uneven from the kiss.
“Are you messing with me?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse, that low tone making you shiver.
You shook your head, biting your lip. “No.”
You took his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and pulled him inside.
You could feel him behind you, his steps slow but heavy as you climbed the stairs. When you crossed the threshold of your bedroom, you felt his gaze land on every little detail of your world.
He looked around, curious. Your books stacked on the nightstand, the small trinkets scattered across your desk, the photos taped to the wall, illuminated by the soft, warm glow of fairy lights.
Suddenly, you felt shy.
You didn’t know why, but the fact that he was here, in your most intimate space, made you feel vulnerable.
Slowly, you turned toward him, lowering your gaze.
“Do you want me too?” you asked softly, almost whispering, unable to look at him.
For a moment, there was silence.
Then, you heard a quiet sigh, followed by a smile.
“All of a sudden, you’re shy?”
You felt his fingers brush against your chin, gently lifting your face to meet his gaze. His eyes were darker now, his expression serious—but amused at the same time.
“What happened to the girl who wouldn’t stop teasing me?”
You blushed even more, and he chuckled softly.
“Cute,” he murmured, lowering his face toward your ear. “I’ve dreamed about this moment for months.”
A shiver ran down your spine.
He tilted his head, his nose grazing your skin as his hands slid down to your waist.
“Every time I saw you, every time you laughed, every time you looked at me with those eyes…” His voice dropped lower as he pressed a soft kiss to your earlobe. “…I became obsessed.”
Your breath hitched.
His hands traveled back up, gripping your waist slightly. “You’re perfect, you know that?”
You turned slightly toward him, your heart pounding in your chest.
He smiled, but his eyes were dark, filled with something deeper.
“But do you know what I like the most?” he whispered, his lips just barely brushing against yours.
You swallowed, shaken by the way his body pressed against yours. “What…?”
He smirked, tilting his head.
“The fact that with me, you’ve let yourself go.”
He kissed your neck, his lips warm against your skin, still damp from the rain.
“The sweet girl that everyone loves…” His hands slid down your back, touching you with an agonizing slowness. “…but with me, she loves to tease.”
His teeth grazed your skin lightly, making you shiver.
And then, in a deeper voice, he added:
“You know something?”
You swallowed hard, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt his lips trace down your jawline.
He smiled against your skin.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about you.”
Your breath caught.
“How many times I’ve touched myself thinking about you.”
Your eyes snapped open, heat surging through your body.
Heeseung pulled back just slightly, watching your reaction with an amused smirk.
“Does that embarrass you?”
You shook your head quickly. “No.”
He chuckled. “You’re adorable when you try to act tough.”
Then, with a more commanding tone, he grabbed the hem of his soaked shirt and lifted it slightly.
“If you really want me,” he whispered, his eyes locked onto yours, “then take it off.”
You took off his shirt without saying a word, your hands sliding over his warm skin as you brought your lips to his neck. You began kissing him softly, letting yourself go with small bites and gentle sucks, feeling his breath grow heavier. He chuckled amusedly and, with a provocative smile, asked:
“Where did you learn these things?”
You looked up, a flash of challenge in your eyes.
“From the books you recommended to me this summer.”
His laugh filled the room, vibrant and genuine, as he teased you in return. But you didn’t stop. You continued down, your lips grazing his collarbone, then his chest, lingering on his nipples. He bit his lip, his breath becoming shorter. You went lower, your lips tracing a slow, deliberate path down his abs, until they brushed against the sensitive skin around his belly button. A soft moan escaped him, and you saw him run a hand through his hair. By now, you had learned to recognize those small gestures: he did that when he was impatient... or shy.
Your hands held him gently at the waist as you looked up at him from below, a mischievous smile on your lips.
“I’m a little embarrassed… I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before.”
He lowered his gaze to you, his face a mix of sweetness and desire.
“You can take all the time you want with me. I want you to be sure.”
Those words warmed your chest, but a shiver ran through you when you felt the damp fabric of your top against your skin. You looked him in the eyes, biting your lip.
“Then… take it off.”
He didn’t need any more words. He didn’t even let you finish the sentence before he slid the fabric down your arms. As your top fell to the floor, he whispered, with a genuine smile and eyes full of admiration:
“You’re beautiful.”
When Heeseung saw your bralette, a playful grin tugged at his lips. His eyes lingered on the thin lace that covered your chest, and with a finger, he traced slow circles on the fabric, barely touching you.
“You’re too cute like this… so innocent, it makes me want to make you blush even more.”
The heat rose to your face, but you didn’t have time to reply, because his mouth immediately found your neck, sucking with an intensity that made you shiver. His hands moved confidently over you, and before you knew it, the bra was gone. He pulled back slightly to look at you, a satisfied smirk on his lips.
“Finally... I’ve been dying to touch them.”
The way he said it made you instinctively clench your thighs together, but he noticed and laughed, biting his lip. Then, without giving you a chance to react, he gently pushed you onto the bed and positioned himself above you. His mouth wasted no time, moving down to torment your breasts with bites and sucks, intensifying the heat inside you.
A small moan escaped you as his body slid against yours, and you clearly felt his arousal press against your sensitive center. The contact made you shiver, and without thinking too much, you murmured: "I feel ... your length..."
For a moment, Hee stopped. Then he burst out laughing, raising his head to look at you with an incredulous and amused expression. "Length?!"he repeated, amused. "Do you really call it that? Why are you always so adorably naive?" His tone was full of mischief as he lowered his voice and his pelvis barely moved against yours, making you gasp again. "
Say it right, baby." he whispered against your ear, slowly biting your lobe. "They say fuck." You bit your lip, your face on fire, but he had no intention of letting you go without hearing it from you.
Hee peppered you with kisses along the body, descending further and further down until it reached your navel. He paused for a moment, looking up at you with a mischievous smile. "Can I take off your skirt?"he asked in a hoarse voice.
A shiver ran through your back. Without hesitation, you raised your hips slightly as a sign of assent, and he, with a satisfied smile, slowly slid the fabric down your legs. He whistled quietly, but his attitude changed as soon as he saw what you were wearing underneath. His eyes darkened, his expression became more intense, almost possessive.
"A thong?" His voice dropped an octave as his fingers grazed the thin fabric. "And for whom did you put it?" You shrugged your shoulders with a sly smile, without immediately answering, but your provocation made him lose his temper. Without warning, his hand struck your thigh with a firm slap, making you wince.
"Hee!" his name eluded you in a small surprised cry. "Who did you put it for?" he repeated, the more authoritarian tone this time. You looked down, biting your lip, before whispering softly: "Just for you."
His smile returned, more smug than ever. "Mh ... and tell me, do you like it?"you added in a playful voice. "I have a dozen like that..." As soon as those words came out of your mouth, Hee snorted quietly, shaking his head with a mixture of disbelief and pure desire.
"Damn, y /n..." he laughed, but his gaze was loaded with something deeper. He teased you with a few more jokes, but his mouth wasted no time. He began to kiss you over the thong, brushing every inch of bare skin, making you arch under him. One of his hands slid under you, firmly grabbing your bottom and clasping against you. His breaths were heavy, his control almost nonexistent.
"I'll ruin you..." he muttered in a low voice, his lips touching your skin as he spoke. "I've been obsessed with you for months."
His teeth pulled the rubber band of the thong flat before sliding it off. He whistled again when he noticed how wet you were. He looked up at you, a flash of pure adoration in his eyes.
"Even wetter than that time in the pool..." he whispered with a crooked smile. You bit your lip, trying to hide the embarrassment, but with a thread of voice you told him: "Just for you, Hee." And his last crumb of control faded completely.
His hands explored every inch of your warm skin. His eyes, dark and full of desire, rested on your center now lit by his touch. He ran a finger along the still damp fabric of the thong he had just moved and smiled. "If you really want to lose your virginity to me, I have to prepare you well."His voice was low, hoarse. "But you need to relax… and most importantly trust me."
You looked at him with a defiant smile, trying to play with him as always. "Who said I was tense?" But Hee wasn't in the mood for your little games, not this time. "Don't be smart, Y/ n." he replied in an authoritarian tone, and without warning, he shoved a finger inside you. A gasp ran through you as you clutched the sheets in your hands,the breath breaking. "Be… it's beautiful…" you could say, biting your lip. He giggled quietly, his gaze full of fun. "Oh, yes? Then you could get another one, don't you think?" And without waiting for an answer, he added a second, slowly moving them inside you, making you feel every inch of their presence. The heat enveloped you, your body instinctively moved against his hand, while he laughed quietly, amused by your reaction.
"Look… you're making my fingers touch you so well. What will you do when it's my cock inside you?" His dirty words made your face burn, but the pleasure growing inside you was too strong to think of any answer. Then, in a slow and precise motion, he slid his thumb over your most sensitive point, barely pinching it. A cry escaped from your lips. "Hee—!" "Are you close?" he asked with a satisfied smile. He nodded frantically, his body trembling under his touch. But his gaze suddenly became more authoritarian as he slowed down his movements. "Don't even try." His voice was an order. "You have to be ready for me, so I'll add another one." "No—wait -" But he ignored your protest, pushing a third finger into you. A wave of pleasure swept over you, your back arched as your body adjusted to the feeling of being so wonderfully filled. You could feel the moisture sliding down his fingers, your white, slimy excitement shining on his skin. Your hands ran to his hair, pulling it hard, desperately trying to hold on to something as your body completely surrendered to him. Hee smiled against your skin, his voice a whisper full of satisfaction.
"Now you can come." And those words were enough to make you completely lose control. The pleasure exploded within you, and his name escaped you in a cry as your body trembled under his touch.
Your body was still shaking, your breath broken as the wave of pleasure slowly subsided. But Hee didn't give you a moment to recover. You felt missed when you saw him stooping between your legs, his lips touching your still sensitive skin. And then, without any hesitation, his tongue slipped on you, collecting every trace of your excitement. A groan eluded you as the warmth of his breath caressed you.
"You're so sweet..."he whispered, looking at you with bright eyes. "I'm lucky I was the first to taste you. And it will only be so, forever." You stammered something, your brain still clouded with pleasure.
"I ... you ... Hee -" but you couldn't even make a sensible sentence. He laughed softly, his gaze full of fun and desire. Without saying anything, he pulled himself up, his hands running to the edge of his pants. When he slid them down, revealing his Calvin Klein box Hee noticed your gaze fixed on him and tilted his head with a smirk.
"Oh? Are you embarrassed for so little?" Then, however, his tone changed slightly, becoming more serious.
"Y/n ... are you sure?" You met his eyes and nodded without hesitation. "Yes, I want it." He smiled contentedly and confidently took your hand, guiding it to the edges of his boxer.
"Then take them off." The heat of his order hit you right in the stomach. Your fingers shook slightly as you grabbed the rubber band and slowly lowered it. And then, as soon as the fabric slipped off, its member snapped free, revealing itself in front of you. It was really big, slightly pinkish, with a thin patina of desire that shone on the tip. Swallow, trying to dampen the tension with a shy smile.
"Well ... I definitely didn't expect it that way."
Hee laughed softly, shaking his head. "Are you kidding me now?" Then, he lowered his voice slightly. "You want to touch him?" The heat that enveloped you was almost unbearable. But, without taking your eyes off his, nodded.
"Yes…" As soon as your fingers brushed him, you felt his warm, taut skin under your touch. Hee tilted his head back, a low groan escaping from his lips.
"If you continue like this..." he muttered with a crooked smile. "I may not last as long as I want." You bit your lip, enjoying his reaction, then looked up at him.
"Then...before fucking me can you tease me a little the entrance to fit me slightly?" He looked at you for a moment, his gaze becoming even darker. "For you, anything."
His hands slid over your thighs, slowly opening them. Your heart beat faster when you felt its hot tip touch your slimy folds. Both groaned at the same time, the electrical contact, a mixture of expectation and pure desire. Hee approached your ear, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Are you ready for me?"
His cock began to slightly tease your slimy cunt and you moaned at the inward sensation of his cock teasing your entrance, Hee looked at you intently and felt that you were still slightly tight and he wanted your first time to be perfect.
"Dear, give me your hand, if you feel that it hurts too much you squeeze it and you can also tell me to stop if it's too much"
You nodded as you felt more and more of his cock sliding inside you but he wanted to hear you say it in your voice. "rispond Y/n, answer me, I want to hear that beautiful voice not a simple gesture with the head!" you took his hand and told him that you would do it if it was too much and he gave you a little kiss on the forehead and with one stroke slid its length into you slowly and you moaned together.
"God, you're so tight pretty, is everything ok?"
you looked at Heeseung above you with clumps of still damp hair falling on his forehead and he gave you comfort in having sex with him for the first time.
"Yes, yes, I have to get used to it all again," he pushed himself to escape slightly, and then I told him he could move more. Heeseung pushed for the first few times slightly softly on your poor vaginal lips that still had to adapt to his leaking cock, the room was flooded with your body odor, you could hear only the whistling of the wind and rain. with his of your kisses and your bodies rubbing together.
"Hee, more please" you said slightly embarrassed to feel the feeling of well-being of his cock getting more and more sucked by you, he took your leg and put it slightly over his shoulder. "Look at you, so pretty and good at taking my cock, I had no doubt that under that aura of a good innocent girl there was a good girl to seduce to take me well!"
his thrusts became irregular inside you, it was all too much and you shook his hand to make him understand that it was too much but at the same time you moaned madly in feeling it inside you more and more deep. "Hee, please, I'm almost there" you said with tears in your eyes coming down from pleasure, he told you he was going to make you cum and teased you with his thumb your swollen clit and little twitches ran through your body and you screamed his name as your white cum scned between your thighs and his cock that could not stop hammering your poor cunt now soaked and sensitive.
"Where, where do you want me to come, cute?" you told him inside that you had started taking the pill and after two more pushes deeper and deeper inside you felt his sperm splash inside you and groan with the feeling of your bodies still embraced and merged with each other.
After cleaning you up with a damp cloth and taking you to the bathroom to change, Heeseung wrapped you in his arms, your face hidden against his chest while your heart raced uncontrollably. Your breath was still a little uneven, but you found the courage to whisper the words you had been holding inside for a long time.
"...I love you."
For a moment, there was silence. Then, suddenly, Hee burst into laughter.
You stiffened, and with a sulky expression, you turned away, ignoring the slight discomfort in your legs. You didn’t want to look at him. If for him it was just something to brag about to his friends, then let him. But he would never have anything else from you.
You felt him stay still for a few seconds, his breath barely noticeable against your skin. Then, as if a switch had been flipped in his mind, he gently grabbed you and turned you around, making you snuggle against him again.
"Hey," he murmured, his fingers grazing your side.
You pouted. "If for you it’s just something to tell others to brag about, then go ahead… but know that I’ll erase you from my life forever."
Hee sighed and gave you a small pinch on the side, making you flinch. "Stop saying nonsense and be quiet for a moment."
You looked up at him, meeting his dark eyes.
"I love you too."
His words were direct, without hesitation. You felt your cheeks flush, your heart pounding in your chest.
"I don’t believe it..." you murmured, looking down.
Hee smiled, amused, and with two fingers, he lifted your chin to make you look into his eyes again. "I love everything about you," he whispered with an intensity that made you shiver. "I love your sweet and friendly personality, but also your shyness. I love the innocent girl who blushes for no reason and the one who knows how to tease me without any shame."
His smile widened as he kissed down your cheek, all the way to your neck. "I love the one who gets jealous when she sees me with another... and the one who chose to give me her first time."
Your face was now completely red, your heart feeling like it was about to explode. You couldn’t hold back and kissed him, holding him tightly.
When you pulled away, your eyes sparkled with emotion. "So... are you my boyfriend?" you asked, a hint of shyness in your voice.
Hee smiled, shifting above you to settle you more comfortably between his arms. "Of course," he replied possessively. "I have no intention of sharing you with anyone else."
You bit your lip, a mischievous smile breaking through the redness of your cheeks. "Neither do I, you know?"
He chuckled and pulled you even closer. "Good. Because you’re mine."
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guess who | slytherin boys.
(tw: choo choo 🚂 ! 6 sum? 7 sum? hm. piv, unprotected, multiple people, blindfolded, overstim, degrading, prob more)

includes: theo, tom, draco, enzo, matt, and blaise
2.8k words
𓆙enjoy a fun game of guess who with the slytherin boys and their hands after a fun night of drinking, let’s hope you win and not them ;)𓆙
you don’t know how you possibly got yourself into this situation. here you stood in the middle of the room of requirement with a blindfold over your face, senses heightened despite the amount of alcohol that currently consumed your body. “we’re going to play a game-“ you heard mattheos voice from the right side of you, hand brushing up your cheek causing goosebumps all over your body.
“if you can guess who’s touching you based on where and how then you win and you chose what we do here, however if you get even one wrong we win and it’s our choice.” he removed his hand from your cheek and you heard his footsteps going back “do we have a deal doll?” tom’s voice echoed from afar and your face flushed at the reality of these boys watching and soon, touching you. “yes.” you let out just above a whisper nervous yet excited.
“perfect. alright for the sake of things we’ll take turns deciding what to do and we’ll use a voice charm to throw her off.” all the boys agreed and draco spoke up “let’s see how she responds to a good old choking then shall we?”. “use the charm dumbass” enzo chimed in till you heard footsteps coming towards you and you couldn’t help but breathe quicker feeling nervous.
you felt slender soft hands wrap delicately around your neck along with a tight squeeze, you could feel his breath just above you and it was turning you on. “any guesses?”. you didn’t recognize the voice but you guessed anyways, was it wrong to admit you’ve studied each of their hands before i mean how could you not the way they all have the perfect veins and just everything about them. thinking for a moment you decide you were almost certain of who it was “enzo?”
“ugh” he stomped off and you just assumed you were right. footsteps were once again fast approaching and without warning there was a firm hand grasping your neck squeezing it almost perfectly, just enough for you breathe. “alright alright give the girl some air” you heard theo so you automatically checked him out, “yeah t-tom” you let your words out slowly and he scoffed letting go “you know you liked it”.
your breathing was still heavy when the next set of hands grabbed your neck and softly caressed your cheek whilst doing so, this action out of all the others made you unfathomably red and flustered. you heard a small chuckle and your thoughts of who it was were confirmed, “theo” you breathed out, “good girl” he leaned down whispering in your ear before walking away.
“alright let’s do something different.” that’s all you heard other than faint whispers soon enough there were footsteps, and a hand wrapped its way around your waist squeezing your ass firmly before removing it with a spank. a small moan escaped your lips but there was no reaction from them that you could hear “any guesses?”.. trying to think if it was someone who hadn’t yet gone or not you took your chances “uhm draco?” still unsure you hoped you were right.
all the boys chuckled and you didn’t know wether that was good or bad, until “tsk tsk tsk, we win doll. looks like you’re ours to play with for the night”. the blindfold was swiftly removed and it revealed tom directly in front of you with a devious smirk. you were unbelievably nervous. how could you have gotten yourself into this situation, here you stood now looking at 6 boys staring you down as if you were their dinner.
“well don’t get all shy now love, don’t act like we’re not turning you on” enzo stepped towards you, tom moving to the side. he leaned down to you and your lips met which led to an immediate makeout. “told you she’d be down” matt laughed lowly. “just for that you’re last” you said breaking the kiss and going for theo, deciding to go all in. “care for a turn?” no hesitation he pulled you in and he was exploring your mouth, slightly biting your lip just enough for small whimpers from you.
“go ahead and take some of her clothes off” tom spoke up, and just like that your skirt was pulled down and top was being unbuttoned expertly by theo’s hands. feeling it was only fair you began removing his clothes to which he obliged throwing them off. “fucking come here” tom’s hands grabbed you by the waist bringing you to him, hand snaking up to your neck with a squeeze and a smirk before going in for your lips. you never thought you’d be kissing tom riddle and fuck was he good at it.
“you know im free to touch” you blurted out, tired of waiting to see what was going to happen next. draco walked up behind you leaning into your neck giving you rough kisses and hickeys until he got down to your shoulder, bending down to your ass and just massaging it in circles “fucking hell” he breathed out, standing up and giving it a harsh slap. “can we make this interesting now” mattheo sighed missing out on all the action.
tom swiftly picked you up and threw you onto a bed to which you have no clue how it got there, not asking any questions you looked up realizing this was your current reality. tom, theo, draco, enzo, and blaise all watching over you looking down on you waiting to take you. your face fell red and you were suddenly more nervous than before.
“mm lets give her a warm up” theo looked at you holding his hand out, grabbing it he brought your head to the edge of the bed and smirked down at you, “im sure you know what to do from here troia”. and you did, you pulled his hard, big, really fucking big dick out and took it in your mouth from the odd angle. you could already hear his breathing pattern change and he began moving his hips fucking your face.
without warning you felt someone rip your underwear off and start eating you out, moans immediately begin to escape your mouth while trying to take theo’s dick down your throat without coughing, “such a good girl she is” you heard enzo from aside as he watched stroking his dick at the sight. “you certainly enjoy blaise’s mouth, all i can hear is you moaning like a bitch” mattheo chuckled “give me a turn” he pushed blaise away kneeling down and divulging into your pussy.
matt inserted two of his fingers all while sucking at your clit, your eyes rolling back at the pleasure until he suddenly stopped. removing both fingers he quickly spit on his dick and pushed at your entrance, loud moan escaping over theo’s dick pumping in and out of your mouth and just like that matt was fucking you quick, and fast.
theo stepped back giving you a chance to catch your breath before tom walked over “i believe it’s my turn” he shoved your head back down and shoved his entire dick down your throat, holding both sides of your head and using you as if you were a sex toy. you were covered in your own drool, a gagging moaning mess and it hadn’t even been but 30 minutes, you knew your orgasm was approaching and you couldn’t do anything to control it.
right when you were about to have sweet sweet release mattheo removed himself completely. “so much for me going last”. you couldn’t tell who was coming up next but you heard footsteps until you felt your body being flipped over, taking tom’s dick out of your mouth just for him to grab you by your hair and put it right back in. face fucking you even more when yet another dick entered your pussy, loud screaming moan coming out of your mouth at the difference. you had to know who this was their dick was fucking long and fuck.
the speed at which he was going was making your mind go almost numb. “you feel so fucking good y/n” draco groaned lowly and you got your answer as to who it was, as much as you hated to admit it he had some good dick. “remember this is only your warm up” tom winked, stopping and walking away. enzo walked up to you and caressed your cheek softly “animals, all of them” he chuckled wiping your face off.
you thought finally you were getting a mouth break, until he smirked down and it was like something changed in his eyes now that you were somewhat cleaned up, no words were spoken but he pulled out his dick and yanked your head down onto it fucking up into your throat and immediately moaning out. his moans turning you on the most so far as your orgasm was finally approaching once more and you let go completely, body shaking and moaning as much as possible without choking.
“just because you came doesn’t mean we’re done with you just yet” draco huffed, “go on and cum in her you already know she wants it” theo spoke out causing the others to laugh, “i think you’re right” draco’s pace sped up even more and you didn’t have time to process the words just exchanged, you felt draco’s cum shoot deep inside of you as he moaned and pumped it in deeper. pulling out slowly his cum seeped out of your pussy and dribbled down.
“the perfect lube” tom spoke getting in back of you and finally taking you for himself, dick ramming into you screaming moan leaving your lips adjusting to his thicker size. “don’t act like you weren’t just taking someone else dick, you can take me just fine slut.” tom scoffed slapping your ass, beginning with a harsh pace. it was so overwhelming to all of your senses yet you were so turned on you couldn’t care any less.
his hands stayed holding onto your ass pulling himself in deeper and deeper, “oh fuck not yet” enzo moaned out eyes rolling back releasing his entire load inside of your mouth, leaking slightly you swallowed what you could. “what a bitch cumming from head” matt laughed going for his turn at your mouth “mm no, blaise i want a taste” you turned him away smirking and blaise happily walked over “of course” he smirked down letting out his fucking anaconda of a dick. okay maybe you regret your decisions just a little.
unlike the others he slowly put his dick in your mouth, teasing you, slapping his dick on your tongue and moving it away anytime you tried to go near, finally he put it in your mouth and moved your head up and down by your hair at a slower pace. your moans were way more audible than before and it was affecting all of them. tom’s pace was still driving you crazy and yet another orgasm was coming over you. “i feel you getting tighter you better beg for your release” tom practically growled towards you and blaise removed his dick from your mouth basically telling you to beg.
this wouldn’t be the most humiliating thing you’ve done so you just did it. “please tom please just let me cum i can’t hold it fuck” you were trying so hard to keep your composure to no avail. before he could respond your body was once again a shaking mess and you came all over his dick. hiss coming from his mouth his slapped your ass harshly over and over before one last deep hard stroke inside of you letting out all of his cum and pent up anger on your pussy.
“now isn’t that a view” he pulled apart your pussy lips admiring his ‘work’. blaise walked away from in front of you with no words and you felt the bed dip once again, you weren’t prepared for him to start inching himself in, no dick in your mouth your moans we’re loud and echoing around the room. despite his slow pace he was hitting every right spot and more. “guess im cumming like this” matt walked up to your face and tapped his dick all over it, “go on” he tapped your mouth over and over until you opened it and let him in.
taking his tip and swirling your tongue around it all while trying to keep yourself somewhat upright, he began bobbing your head up and down all while thrusting into you every time you’re closer. it was hard to take all of it at once each time he shoved it down but you kept going. “if i didn’t know any better id think you were bloody close again” blaise groaned deeply starting to quicken his pace.
you couldn’t speak so you just moaned out in response, he wasn’t wrong you felt so overstimulated it was insane. your next orgasm already rushing to you all while being face fucked and actually fucked. the idea of the amount of cum being fucked in and out of you was making your mind go crazy. blaise went faster and faster till you heard his breath begin to get shaky, your orgasm rushed over you and you came eyes rolling back and moaning all over mattheo.
blaise kept going at the same speed, grabbing your ass and slapping it a few times before moving to your waist pulling you back onto his dick even more. your mouth was disconnected with matt’s cock and a screaming pleasure-pain induced moan left your mouth as he slammed all of his length deep into you before he himself let his orgasm take over, cumming deep in your sensitive gushing pussy.
“if im already close might as well.” matt rushed behind you shoving his dick in without warning making you scream moan once more, he didn’t give you and time to adjust nor did he go slow, he went as fast as he possibly could chasing his release wanting to cum inside of you. yanking you back by the hips he grabbed you by your hair causing your back to arch and him to hit an entire new spot, moans now escaping both your mouths he moved one hand down to your clit and tried rubbing on it.
“let me” enzo came over and began to quickly and expertly move his fingers over your clit, you couldn’t control yourself, closing your eyes shut tight moaning and letting go. matt’s free hand reached up to your boobs and pinched your nipples till you felt warm fluid run out of your pussy all over the bed and mattheo immediately cumming inside of you at the sight “holy fuckkk” he groaned pumping himself inside of you a few more times before taking himself out slowly.
you fell onto the clean part of the bed and started catching your breath. “we should do this more often” draco spoke out as he was putting his clothes back on, “agreed” matt added. “nobody asked y/n how she feels” enzo rolled his eyes, “y/n how do you feel?” blaise looked at you, you looked at all of them as if they were dumb, “i was literally just screaming. so, obviously”. you giggled and they all chuckled. “now who’s gonna clean me up” you looked around and they all scattered towards you.
oh em gee this took forever my first ever choo choo train LMAO lmk how u liked ittt<33 also i never write blaise like ever so lmk how that was
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter smut#slytherin boys#slytherin boys smut#slytherin boys react#slytherin boys x reader#smut#draco malfoy#tom riddle#harrypotterboys#harry potter reader insert#fanfic#draco malfoy x you#mattheo riddle x you#tom riddle x you#enzo berkshire x you#lorenzo berkshire smut#theo nott x y/n#theodore nott x y/n#blaise zabini#tom riddle x y/n#theo nott x you#theodore nott x you#theo nott x reader#theo nott smut#enzo berkshire smut#mattheo smut#draco smut#lorenzo berkshire x reader
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diet pepsi.

listen to - diet pepsi by addison rae na jaemin x reader wc - 10k genre - fluff and hotness, shy!reader, flirty!jaemin, suggestive warnings - shirtless jaemin x4, mentions of a "nude" pic, partying/drinking, a makeout session, aloootttt of sensual tension! a/n - HERE IT IS! thank you all so much for the hype over the preview. i hope yall enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it:) comments and feedback are always appreciated!! i read all of them! update: i still can't move on from that jaemin pic.
Accidentally walking in on your best friend's hot housemate half naked with a towel around his waist in the bathroom was never in your plans. But maybe, it was in his?

“Why do you guys have so much Diet Pepsi in your fridge?” There is a slight cadence of disgust in your voice, judgment for the most part, knowing damn well no one drinks Pepsi – let alone Diet Pepsi.
Mark shuts the fridge door that you’ve left idly open as you rummage through the kitchen cabinets for a snack. “It was a late night purchase. The store ran out of all the good stuff.”
“Now, it’s left taking up space.” You snarl, picking through opened bags of crackers, chips and candy that aren’t sealed properly. “You guys never have good snacks.” Giving up, you make your way upstairs toward the only bathroom in this entire shared house.
“Well, last time I checked, you don’t live here.” Mark hollers from the kitchen, a bit of sass in his statement. “Yet you’re here all the time!”
“You’re overjoyed I’m always here!” Your body leans over the railing of the stairs, calling out to your best friend in an unnecessarily booming voice and a light giggle at the end of your sentence.
Mark doesn’t respond and you’re deep in the hallway in search for the bathroom that is shared between four college men. Although you’re solely Mark’s best friend, the other three guys have welcomed you into their house as they would their own. Honestly speaking, you’re only rambunctiously annoying when you’re just around Mark. His housemates know you as his shy and sweet friend.
It’s hard for you to open up to others, despite these people being equally as close to Mark as you are. There is just not enough common ground for you to relate to them, as nice as they are when you’re at their house.
Jeno is probably the most similar to you, a man of few words and a smile that resembles a kind puppy. He doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, but he is always laughing at their shared jokes and silly antics. Haechan is the most different from you, playful and Mark’s nightmare at times. Lastly, there’s Jaemin, a man who you’ve found yourself stealing glimpses of whenever he is near.
Your heart leaps and twirls at any mention of his name, his whereabouts, him. Though, your crush on Jaemin will never come to light. You only let yourself admire from afar, a man as hot and charming as he is already has an entourage waiting on him. And Mark would never let you live it down that you’re practically drooling over his housemate.
So as you find yourself in front of the bathroom door, you don’t hear the shuffling on the other side. You mindlessly turn the knob and open to reveal Jaemin, shirtless with a towel low around his waist.
He doesn’t even flinch at the sudden exposure, clearly engulfed in taking a mirror picture. Both of his arms hold up his soft pink phone, his biceps flexing at the simple position. His broad, wide shoulders are on display and all you see is his bare silky skin. You’re gawking, anyone can see at a mile away, hungry eyes tracing the outline of his toned chest and chiseled abs.
When he finally acknowledges your presence, a big toothy grin appears on his face. Your name rolls off his tongue excitedly, “you’re right. I am overjoyed you’re here.” His lower register catches you off guard and something inside of you spikes at its rumble.
Jaemin watches as you try to find your words, tripping over your own tongue. He drinks up how your eyes bounce between his face and his bare upper body, lost in his canvas.
“Sorry!” You quickly shut the door, odd that you’re the one embarrassed when he is the one who got walked in on. Running down the stairs, you slam right into Mark, causing him to fall back onto the couch.
“Whoa! Are you in a rush or something?” Mark groans. His eyes fixate on your flustered expression. “What happened?”
You’re deciding whether or not you should lie to him, committed to not exposing and embarrassing yourself even further. “Just bumped into Jaemin. Does he normally not lock the bathroom door?”
There is a small quiver in your voice, but you try your best to remain nonchalant and calm. Mark raises a curious eyebrow, a shaky grin grows on his lips. You can’t even imagine all the wild and inappropriate thoughts spinning in this college boy’s head.
“That’s weird. He’s usually good about that stuff.” He snickers, “What did you see?”
“Get your head out of the gutter.” You lightly slap the back of his head, but feel heat spread across the tips of your ears and run its way down to your cheeks. “I didn’t see anything.”
“Bummer, bet you wanted to.” Mark jokes, a fit of giggles erupting from his stomach.
You roll your eyes and proclaim loudly, “I have no interest in Jaemin.” Liar. The image of his hot body still hasn’t left your mind. It’s catastrophic. Crossing your arms, you plop onto the sofa next to your best friend.
Right on cue, another voice chimes in. Coming down the stairs, Jaemin dances his hand on the railing. His muscular arms catches your immediate attention as he flaunts around in a tight white tank, his other hand in the pocket of his gray sweats. “Damn, that really hurts my ego, (y/n), especially after you’ve seen me naked just now.”
Nonetheless, he doesn’t look offended. Instead, a sweet smirk curves upward on his perfect face. You swallow hard, bashful and ashamed yet again that Jaemin continues to ruin you.
Mark is laughing his hardest, but you don’t hear him. Your heart pounds in your ears, rapidly and loudly. “You weren’t naked, Jaem. Don’t give Mark any ideas.”
Jaemin chuckles, tucking in his chin shyly. His charming smile is subtle, but dazzling. You’re absolutely positive you have tiny stars swimming in your eyes just looking at him. He makes his way past you two, toward the kitchen to grab a Diet Pepsi out of the fridge.
“I’m sorry, I’ll remember to lock the door next time.” He apologizes, taking a sip of his drink and grimacing at the taste.
“What were you even doing in there?” Leave it to Mark to be such a curious cat. You nudge him in the rib and he winces noisily. “I want to know what you saw! You guys are acting so suspicious.” He sends a glare at you.
Jaemin comes up behind the couch. He leans over, handing Mark his phone. On display is the picture you witnessed Jaemin take a few minutes ago and the frontal view is even better than what you saw from the side. Your sharp intake of breath doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, but he doesn’t call it out.
The picture could be considered a nude, even if it cuts right at his waistline. It’s so scandalous and he doesn’t seem the slightest sheepish about it. If anything, he and Mark are grinning together at Jaemin’s godly body, like two bros appreciating each other’s muscles.
“Yo, Na Jaemin! This is so crazy, look at that chest work.” Mark giddily hits at Jaemin’s chest, displaying a weird manly affection for his housemate. “All those hours at the gym are paying off. Are you posting this?”
Jaemin shakes his head. “It’s only meant for special eyes.” He glimpses briefly over at you, but you avert contact quickly. You think about all the people the boys talk about during their drunk kickbacks, but Jaemin is incredibly secretive. I don’t kiss and tell, is what he always says when the guys try to probe him with investigative questions.
You normally try to pretend like it doesn’t bother you, always helping him by telling the boys to mind their own business. Nonetheless, you’re probably the only person in the room who wants to know the most about his endeavors.
“This is a nude?!” Mark jumps up and throws the phone back at Jaemin, rubbing his eyes in hopes to rid the picture out of his memory. “I love you dude, but I’m not sure if I want to know you’re posing for nudes in our bathroom.”
Jaemin laughs, “C’mon, Mark. You don’t have to have such a big reaction, just say you want me to send it to you too.” Mark shakes his head aggressively and you’re suffocating at the thought that you walked in on Jaemin taking a nude. A swirl of nasty thoughts circle your mind and you gulp at the desires that fill your lungs.
You get up so suddenly that Jaemin and Mark fall silent and wait for your next move. “I’m going home.” You announce, gaze stuck to the ground and fists balled at your side. “I’ll see you later, Mark.”
“Alright, do you need a ride–”
“No, I’ll just walk. I need to take a breather.” Your legs are moving before anyone can follow after you. You didn’t know what came over you, but spending another second in that room with them meant increasing your chances of saying something regrettable.
The cold breeze of the night cools your hot skin and fresh air clears your mind. It is still early in the evening when you check the time, but it is realistically going to take you 30 minutes to walk back home. You didn’t think it through, frankly, but at least your head is clear from all the dirty thoughts about Jaemin.
Though, you wonder how whoever receives his photo would react. Would they combust the same way you did? Would they be left speechless at such a glorious man? Special eyes. It must be nice to have Jaemin interested in you.
When you’re left with your own reflection and about a quarter into your walk, a car pulls up slowly next to you on the curb. Initially, you’re cautious as to the random vehicle approaching you so intently.
However, the driver’s window rolls down and Jaemin calls your name. “It’s dangerous for you to walk. I’ll take you home.”
That annoying, rhythmic sound of your heart starts up again. Normally, Mark is the one who drives you to and back, but even you didn’t think you could stand being in the car with him as he would endlessly tease you about Jaemin.
“That’s alright. I’m almost there-”
Jaemin gets out of the car and walks around to open the passenger door for you, “it wasn’t a polite offer. I’m taking you home.” His stern tone causes you to comply and enter his car without another attempt to protest.
When he enters the car, the tension in the atmosphere is heavy and thick. He turns off the engine and you can hear the quietness of the night again. You swallow the spit pooling at the back of your throat, unsure how to talk to him. This is the first time you two have been alone together, just you and him in one confined space. You’re usually with Mark when you’re with the other guys.
“I’m actually really sorry, again. I hope you don’t feel weird about seeing me like that.” Your heart crumbles at the genuinity in his apology. Your abrupt leave probably had him thinking he made you feel uncomfortable.
“Jaemin, it’s fine. I already forgot what you looked like and it’s your house. You should feel comfortable doing what you want there.” You’re downplaying all the emotions rising in your throat, but you can’t help feeling guilty at the pout on his glossy lips.
“Mark said that you’re not used to stuff like that. Is that true? Did I make you feel uncomfortable?” Jaemin looks over at you, a hand resting over the wheel.
You look away, his sultry stare being too much for you to handle. “Mark doesn’t know anything about what I’m used to. I don’t talk about that stuff with him.”
It’s the truth. You’ve had your fair share of hook ups, drunk makeout sessions at the club, and a previous relationship. So, you wouldn’t say you’re as innocent as Mark always tries to make you out to be to others. However, you’re not throwing yourself at just anyone and aren’t as open to sharing your experiences to people, Mark being one.
Jaemin nods, acknowledging everything you’re saying. “I noticed you’re usually quiet when all of us talk about our sexual experiences.”
“You are too, though.” You mumble under your breath, twiddling your thumbs.
“I’m too distracted watching how shy you get at the mention of Haechan getting head.” This statement, paired with his deep voice, is glass shattering. Something drops in your stomach, your feelings and thoughts colliding together into something unidentifiable.
Jaemin looks so good under the streetlamp. Even in the darkness, you can still see the twinkle in his alluring gaze and how much charm he exudes with a simple toothy smile. The desire to kiss him is so magnetic, you can feel yourself breaking at any moment.
“You notice me?” Your brain has lost control over the words that spill from your lips. Your lustful and romantic feelings go into overdrive, saying things you’ve never dared to say.
It is his turn to send you a confused look, as if it is the most ridiculous question you could have asked. “Of course I do. It’s hard not to. You… have such an effect on me. I talk about it all the time to Jeno and Haechan.”
This is shocking news to you. You’ve always been under the impression that the other three had no interest or a second thought about you, let alone Jaemin of all people. At the end of the day, you’re just Mark’s best friend and you’re only really there because of him. His housemates are respectful and don’t linger for too long when you’re around, so it never occurred to you that would be a topic in their conversations.
You stutter and approach slowly, “what do you talk about?”
Jaemin chuckles, shaking his head and starts the car. “Can’t tell you. Just know that I like it when you’re around.” He starts driving you home and you can feel the conversation fleeting. But you don’t want to stop, you want to peel him layer by layer until he is at his core.
You two drive for some time in silence. When he approaches your neighborhood, he hits you with one sudden question. “Do you have feelings for Mark?” This is the one of many times he has surprised you tonight.
“No!” You refute excessively. “We’re strictly friends. He is nowhere near my type.” It is a question you get pretty often, given that you two are attached at the hip. Nonetheless, the thought of you and Mark together romantically makes you gag. He is nearly your brother at this point.
Jaemin raises a curious brow, “what is your type?”
He pulls into your driveway and you’re presented with a window of opportunity. You dance with the possibility that Jaemin could actually be yours. After tonight, he definitely confirmed that he notices you.
Jaemin peers over with innocent eyes and a soft smile. His elbow rests on the middle console and his large hands hold the bottom of the steering wheel. And you can’t believe that after all this time, he has been looking at you with such an endearing gaze. Gathering all the courage you have left, you clear your throat.
“Guys like you.” You say, rather breathlessly. You see his pupils dilate and his lips part at the sudden flirtatious confidence. It’s like a lightbulb switches on inside his head. For once, you have left him speechless. “Goodnight, Jaemin. Thank you for bringing me home.”
You exit his car, but he is quick to follow. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk you to your door.” You almost make out the slight shakiness in his voice and you’re giggling at how dazed you’ve gotten him.
Approaching your door, Jaemin turns your cheek to face him. His hand remains hot against your jaw and you think in any second, he might lean down and kiss you. He’d kiss you to the point where you’d turn to goo right at his feet.
Your knees grow weak under his hooded stare, “goodnight (y/n). I’ll let Mark know that I got you back safe and sound.” With that, his hand drops and he starts taking a few steps backwards toward his car. Disappointment is evident in your reaction.
Your shaky hands unlock the front door and you look back to see Jaemin leaning against his car waiting patiently for you to enter. When you get inside, your back slides down against the door, heart beating fast, and you wallow in the emptiness that Jaemin has left you with.
The only noise filling the air is the sound of his car pulling out of the driveway. Then, your phone buzzes in your pocket and the notification causes your jaw to drop.
Na Jaemin (Mark’s Housemate): 1 Attachment
“Holy shit.” Jaemin’s nude flashes back at you and you’re taking everything in. The events earlier today come flooding back into your memory. Lustful desires cause your stomach to stir, tracing the lines of his collarbones and following the protruding vein on his shoulder.
Na Jaemin (Mark’s Housemate): for your special eyes xx
Na Jaemin (Mark’s Housemate): still have no interest in me?
Blinking at the thread of texts, your head is empty and a lump forms in your throat. Na Jaemin, the man that you are.

mark lee-ave me alone: Party tonight, you coming????
mark lee-ave me alone: It’s been like almost two weeks since we hung out, do i need to file a missing person’s report?
you: i’ve got finals
mark lee-ave me alone: you finished finals we literally share calendar schedules… why u avoiding me
you: why are you guys alcoholics
mark lee-ave me alone: sounds good ! see u tn hehe
Tossing your phone onto your bed, you groan into your pillow. It has been a while since you went over, let alone seen Mark. After the moment you had with Jaemin, you aren’t entirely sure if you’re ready to face him again. You had nearly fainted from all the emotions he put you through that day.
He also didn’t reply to your text, but then again, you didn’t give him much to work with. This is Na Jaemin you’re talking to and the last thing you want to do is to scare him away. So, the best response you came up with was the blushing emoji and embarrassment hit you all over again.
Nonetheless, you went back to that photo every night since and its effects remain the same every time. Widened eyes, hot cheeks, butterflies in your lower abdomen, wild thoughts. It has gotten to the point where your phone suggested making it his contact picture, causing the bashfulness to catch up to you.
Your phone buzzes again and you’re rolling over to expect another text from Mark. Instead, your heart rubs at your chest at the appearance of Jaemin’s name on your screen.
Na Jaemin (Mark’s Housemate): can’t wait to see you tn
Mark must’ve told them about you coming to the party. All it takes is one simple text and your feet are kicking in the air. Excitement replaces the dread that you were feeling before and you’re jumping out of bed to find a cute outfit.
When you finally get to the house, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation bubbles inside of you. While you’ve looked forward to seeing Jaemin before, this time is completely different. He unlocked something that you can no longer control.
Mark lets you in, slightly buzzed, and the house is already packed with drunk people. Haechan is on aux as per usual with his perfectly curated party playlist. Jeno has a large bottle in his hand, pouring a line of shots on the kitchen island like a skilled bartender.
You’re unconsciously scanning the room for Jaemin, Mark’s words going in one ear and out the other. “It’s quite a turnout. We didn’t expect so many people would show!”
When you take a quick look around, many are unfamiliar faces. Most of these had to be friends of his housemates, knowing how small Mark keeps his circle.
“What is this party even for?” Yelling over the loud music, you swear there will be ringing in your ears tomorrow morning.
“We’re celebrating the end of the semester!” Mark cheers, excitedly with a big goofy grin. “The guys mostly wanted an excuse to get their friends together and have some fun.”
“That’s surprisingly more wholesome than I thought.” You nod, noting the pretty girls moving their hips in the dark and crowds of guys surrounding the keg. “Very fun.” You say sarcastically and follow Mark through the maze of hot bodies.
The kitchen is unrecognizable. Half empty glass pitchers and plastic cups line the sticky marble counters, they were definitely not getting their rent deposit back with all the tarnish.
It wasn’t your first time at one of their parties, but it had been a long time since they’ve thrown something of this scale. It surprised you, mostly because everyone who lived here seemed so laid back that you didn’t expect the large magnitude that they could draw in.
“Did you want something to drink?” Mark grabs a beer from the fridge, politely squeezing his way through those leaning against the appliances.
You shake your head, “not right now.” He lifts a curious brow at your bottom lip between your teeth. Could he tell you were anxiously waiting for someone?
“So, where have you been lately?” Your mind is extremely overstimulated with everything happening around you, and of course, Mark decides to have an open conversation in the middle of his densely packed kitchen area.
Shrugging, you play it off like everything is normal. “Needed a break from you. You bitched about me coming over all the time, so I chilled out.”
Mark takes a swig, clearly not believing you. “That’s the real reason why? There isn’t anything else regarding someone who lives here?”
He is prying, digging, scheming. You can see it in his smug face when he knows he hit a soft spot. “Do you want to tell me? Because it seems like there’s something going on that you won’t tell me.”
“It’s just interesting.” He shrugs, “Jaemin insisted on going after you the night you walked out. Care to tell me what happened?” Mark giggles to himself like a high school girl sharing secrets. Rolling your eyes, the twitch of your lips curve into a small grin.
“Is that so out of his character?” You cross your arms, “Jaemin has always been a gentleman unlike you, who let me walk home in the dark when you know it takes me 30 minutes.”
Your best friend throws his hands up in defense, “I was going to go! Like I said, Jaemin beat me to it. He just grabbed his keys off the hook and told me he got it.”
“After you told him I felt uncomfortable?” Anger rises in your voice. Quite surely, you sound more offended than you actually are. Nonetheless, that explanation from Mark did irk you a bit when Jaemin had told you.
Mark looks sheepishly at you and takes a timid sip. “Well, didn’t you? Isn’t that why you stormed off?! When have you ever talked about nudes, or having sex for that matter?”
Scoffing, you couldn’t believe him. Your face gets warm from the spotlight he has you under. It’s complete disbelief that fuels your next line and you shout over the music, “That doesn’t mean I don’t have sex. I have sex!”
“Who is having sex?” The baritone voice sneaks up from behind you and a hot hand touches the small of your lower back. You seize up at the physical intimacy, turning around to see Jaemin looking as charming as ever. The pure visual of him has hearts in your eyes.
Mark laughs, not noticing how Jaemin snakes his hand around and rests it on your hip. He pulls you a bit closer so that your body leans against his strong arm. “We were just talking about what happened between you two a couple of weeks ago.”
Jaemin nods, as if he understands the situation completely without much context. He looks down at you and smiles sweetly, “did something happen between us?”
He doesn’t break eye contact with you, barely paying attention to Mark, who you’ve also tuned out of this conversation. The quiver in your voice is obvious and Jaemin’s eyes gleam upon hearing your sudden shyness. “No. You just drove me home.”
“Yeah, you heard it here first.” Jaemin switches to an excited and peppy demeanor, as if all is well and you two aren’t acting extremely suspicious.
Though, Mark is incredibly oblivious so he isn’t hard to fool. He doesn’t press on and gets pulled off to the side by Haechan to fix one of the speakers, leaving you and Jaemin alone among the drunken party goers. Your throat feels like it's closing in on itself, nervousness building your stomach yet again.
Jaemin swiftly turns you to face him fully, both hands holding your arms as he admires how you’ve dressed up tonight. “I’ve always liked this shirt on you. How have you been? I noticed you haven’t come around lately.”
“I’ve been busy.” You’re as quiet as a mouse, but Jaemin hears you loud and clear. You’re extremely conscious of the two of you openly together for everyone to watch or listen in, but Jaemin’s attention is solely on you.
“Busy avoiding me?” The way he asks is lighthearted. He isn’t trying to instigate the way Mark was, it's playful and unserious, even if the question did hold some genuine curiosity.
“I don’t know.” It’s easier for you to be truthful with Jaemin compared to Mark. After that brief chat in his car, you felt like you could be honest with him as he was with you. As if somehow, that one pivotal night changed the dynamic of your nonexistent friendship completely.
You feel connected to him. Seen by him. “If I did something wrong to make you want to avoid me, you gotta tell me.” Jaemin begins, sincerity heavy in his round eyes and tone.
However, you stop him from continuing. “There is nothing wrong with what you did. I liked it, alot. I avoided coming because you make me feel nervous and shy.” Perhaps you are revealing too much too soon, but you can’t help it with the way Jaemin looks at you.
He grins, “you’ve always been nervous and shy around me. Those feelings never stopped you from coming around before.”
You’re stunned at how observant he actually is. All this time, you thought you did a good job at keeping those feelings internal. Jaemin and you never shared an extensive conversation before that night, but you didn’t completely ignore him whenever he was in the room.
Whenever you two would be physically near each other, you’d strike up small talk about classes and ask how he’s been – even if you had to build up the courage to say something.
You would always greet him back when he would arrive home or if he appeared from upstairs. There would’ve been no way he could’ve seen how your hands fidgeted or hear your voice shake or when you’d avert your gaze. Right?
But he did. He saw through it all. And it hit you that Jaemin had really been observing you this entire time, beyond a simple notice. “Sure, they didn’t before. This time, things feel different between us.” “I like when you talk about there being an us.” Jaemin beams, “it’s cute. We never got to have that all this time.” He resembles a happy kid on Christmas day, opening a present that he had been good for all year. It’s hopeful and quite touching that he thought about growing closer to you.
“Do you feel like it’s different between us?” You ask timidly. The feeling of possible rejection lingers in the back of your heart. This could all be a misunderstanding and you read it all wrong.
He ponders for a bit, eyes darting to the ceiling and then back at you. “Yes, but not entirely. I think you’ve gotten more comfortable opening up to me, but my feelings toward you haven’t changed.”
Hadn’t Jaemin brought it up, you really didn’t know that your heart opened up as much as it did for him. It was all natural, seamless. He didn’t have to speedrun questions like an investigator to get you to talk, everything just flowed. The second part of his answer did prompt more curiosity rather than something definitive.
How does he feel about you?
As you debated a follow up question, the two of you get interrupted by a small group of people pulling at Jaemin’s shoulder. He is brought back to the swarm of a party and you’re retreating into the background. “Na Jaemin! We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
Before he could excuse himself, they whisk him away deep into the dark sea of dancing individuals. Sighing, you’re left with the same emptiness you felt two weeks ago. Mark comes stumbling back, the beer in his hand now nearly finished.
“Are you drunk off of a Bud Light?” You snicker at your friend’s wobbly entrance. Your heart is heavy in your chest, but you let these emotions subside.
He takes a final drink, “I’m just feeling a little loose. I think it’s finally time you get some.”
You give in, especially now that Jaemin has reeled you in and left you without any clarity. You need a drink to calm all the nerves that he lit up, ease all the pent up tension he created.
“Only if it’s not what you’re having.” Mark’s head swishes heavily on his shoulders, peering around to find the man with the alcohol supply. He gestures to Jeno from the opposite side of the room for two shots and you laugh at their silly roleplay.
Jeno walks over and greets you with a smile, realizing he didn’t see you come in this whole time. He pours a dangerous amount of Vodka that overflows out of the small glass.
“Dude! You suck as a bartender, you’re fired!” Mark giggles drunkenly at Jeno’s heavy hand and clinks the shot glasses. “Best friend shots!” He squeals happily at you.
You oblige, holding your breath for the intake of alcohol. Wincing at the taste, you down the shot as best as you can. It’s dreadful, but somehow your muscles relax and your mind clears from the running thoughts of Jaemin.
“Another one!” Jeno cheers. This time, he prepares three shots and joins in on the random celebratory atmosphere that Mark established.
The responsible side is signaling alarm bells to slow down, but the side intoxicated with disruptive feelings of Jaemin is silencing them all. So you think, one more shot won’t hurt.
You’re unsure of how much time has passed. Twenty minutes? An hour? Maybe even two hours. It feels late and early all at the same time. At this point, you’re experiencing a good buzz after the last few rounds of shots with Jeno and Mark.
The liquid courage has you asking for Jaemin’s whereabouts.
“I think he’s upstairs in the bathroom with someone.” Mark slurs his words, clearly not knowing the magnitude of this information. Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach, a ton of bricks hitting you. You’ve tuned out the booming music and Mark’s words play on a loop.
“When did you see him go up with someone?” You ask again, not wanting to believe Mark’s words. Could it have been one of the people from the group that stole him away? An old fling. A friend with benefits. An ex-lover. An admirer. The list unravels itself like a never ending scroll.
He shrugs, it’s obvious this man has no actual idea what is going on or how much it's affecting you. “Check for yourself.” The edge of sass in his tone has you feeling challenged. Mark always gets a bit snarky and direct whenever he’s intoxicated.
You’re going back and forth with yourself – stay or find him. If you see him making out with someone else, then what? It would actually hurt you and you only have your own blossoming feelings to blame. If he is alone, then what? Will he finally tell you how he feels about you? Will he finally kiss you? The desire for that is enough drive for you.
And so you go.
Heading up the stairs, the mess of the party downstairs fades into the background. Your palms grow sweaty as you walk down the long hallway toward the looming bathroom. Light flows through the bottom crack of the door. Not knowing what to expect, you’re just hoping what Mark said isn’t true.
Your hand holds onto the shiny knob, hesitant to get your ego bruised at the sight of Jaemin with another person. Taking a deep breath, you open the door.
Jaemin is in the midst of zipping up his jeans, the belt around his waist unbuckled. However, he is alone and oddly enough, the sound of the running toilet brings an ounce of reassurance for you. He looks up and your grip relaxes on the knob.
Upon seeing your figure, Jaemin shakes his head with a sneaky smirk. He goes about washing his hands as normal and says, “we really need to stop meeting like this.”
“Maybe you should try locking the door for once.”
“I do. Somehow, it’s always unlocked when you’re around.” He sounds so innocent lying through his teeth. Jaemin wipes his hands on the hand towel and leans against the door frame, “now are you actually going to use the bathroom or did you know I’d be here waiting for you?”
Your mouth opens to speak, but no words form. Jaemin’s gaze eats you up again, taking in your attire and dolled up look once more. His playful smile disappears and is replaced with a thin line, his jaw tightening. “So pretty.” His low voice whispers, eyes never leaving your lips.
Right then and there, the want to kiss him surges throughout your body. There is nothing stopping you from diving into Jaemin, letting him have you utterly and completely. No consequences filter through your head, no other thoughts besides what his lips taste like. It could be the alcohol, but you’re fully drunk off his sultry stare and his feathering touches on your wrist.
He leans in toward you, head tilting as he inches closer to your face. Closing your eyes, you await the kiss you’ve longed for. Blood pumping in your veins and heart doing somersaults in your chest.
“Did you drink?” You quickly open your eyes at his question and see Jaemin pulling back. The familiar feeling of disappointment floods your body too well.
“I took a few shots.” You’re biting the inside of your cheek, trying to not look embarrassed at how badly you wanted him to kiss you. The smell of alcohol is still hot on your breath and you’re even surprised at how composed you’ve managed to be.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want to kiss you like this.” Jaemin’s tone is sweet, but firm. Although you were nowhere near black out drunk, you understood his sentiments. He wanted to kiss you without any chance of regret. He wants to do it right.
“I blame Mark for this.” A heavy sigh falls at the end of your sentence. You roll your eyes at the sound of Mark’s voice from downstairs. Regardless of your disappointment, your heart is still burning at how he called you sweetheart. You didn’t know how good it would sound until it left his mouth.
In a blink of an eye, he quickly kisses your cheek. “That will have to do for now.” Jaemin smiles, wide and toothy.
You don’t have enough time to process, still stuck at the small pet name, as he whisks you back down to join everyone at the party. Your eyes widen, cheeks grow hot, butterflies grow in your lower abdomen, and wild thoughts swirl in your head. All of which didn’t need Jaemin’s nude for these effects to arise.

“You know, Jaemin has started asking about you a lot.” Mark looks up from his laptop, taking a break from his strenuous essay. It had been a week after the party and everything fell right back into routine. You’d show up to their house as if you never stopped coming around.
The only difference is that you’re not here to see Mark anymore. You’re here for Jaemin. As clingy and corny as that seemed, you left every day happy that you got to talk to him. The two of you had been texting since the night of the party, mostly brief conversations about your day, but he never forgets to wish you a good morning.
Whenever you’re at the house, Jaemin would join you and Mark when he’d come home. Initially, Mark didn’t seem to notice that his housemate would linger for as long as you’d be here or that Jaemin would purposefully sit close to you, or those longing stares you two would share across the table.
It wasn’t until you were drinking water and Jaemin had casually asked for a sip. Then, it clicked. Mark jumped, he pointed fingers, he accused. All of which, you two blinked innocently at him in confusion, Jaemin’s bottom lip touching the rim of your bottle.
Jaemin and you denied everything Mark tried to throw at you two, given that in all actuality, you two are only getting to know each other. He still hasn’t kissed you on the lips. He still hasn’t really spent time with you alone again, though you are incredibly nervous at that potential idea coming to fruition.
After the night of the party, you’ve been wondering and waiting for his move. It did bother you the first few days, but his sweet texts always had a grin growing on your face. Jaemin played a very long game.
“Really? Like what?” You try to hide your undying curiosity. Not looking up from your screen, you pretend to browse through empty tabs to seem like you are too busy to care. But deep down, it has been eating away at you wondering how Jaemin feels.
Mark smirks, “tell me what has been going on between you two and then I’ll tell you.”
Scoffing, you roll your eyes at his deal. “That just sounds like you’re making shit up.”
“So there is something going on between you two!” His voice grows louder, a bit more accusatorial. His eyes narrow, “you know I expected secrets from him, but not from you! You’re my best friend.” Mark’s sad pout tugs at your heartstrings.
A sigh escapes your lips and you give him your full attention. It didn’t feel good having to keep things from him, but you thought to wait until something actually happened before saying anything. Nonetheless, since you can’t stand seeing your best friend sad, you decide to just come clean from the beginning.
“He sent you that nude!?” Mark gasps as you reveal the night Jaemin drove you home. The more you talk about your encounters with Jaemin and your thought process, the more you realize how much you like him. Beyond attraction, beyond his chivalry. A flower has grown from the seed he watered.
“No wonder why there is this weird tension whenever we’re all together. It’s because you two are literally eye fucking each other across the room.” Mark grumbles, but he lets you finish telling your piece. From the nude to the conversation in the kitchen to the kiss on the cheek. He now knows everything you’ve experienced and how you’re wrapped around Jaemin’s finger.
A part of you prepares for the teasing and the gross kissing noises, but your best friend just nods silently. His stare is blank, like he is trying to process the everything and nothing you’ve been through. Growing nervous, you shift uncomfortably on the couch.
“Jaemin asked me about your favorite things. He told me that it’s something that would come in handy one day.” Mark clears his throat and can barely look you in the eye, almost embarrassed to share such an intimate question his friend asked about you. “He also asked if I had feelings for you.”
Your jaw drops, heart falling to the pit of your stomach. This is unexplored terrain – the two of you never touched on the topic of potentially becoming romantic. It had always just felt mutually platonic. Sitting up quickly, you lean closer toward him.
He sends a weird stare at your sudden attentive figure. “I don’t, first of all, don’t get too excited here.”
The anticipation leaves your system, falling back against the cushion and going back to your homework. “I thought you were going to reveal some crazy backstory with the way you’re acting.”
Mark laughs, mockingly. “We’re nearly siblings. I’ve seen every bad part of you, your charm doesn’t work on me.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual!” You ruffle his hair, messing it up between your fingers as he tries to push you off. A fit of giggles fill the room that the two of you don’t hear the front door open.
When the door shuts, you glance over to see Jaemin stripping his shirt. Cursing under your breath, your eyes remain stuck on all his bare skin. His whole chest and abs glisten with droplets of sweat, veins popping from whatever pump he got from the gym. His track pants hang low, the waistband of his briefs peeking through.
Mark laughs at how you’re practically frozen over Jaemin. Jaemin looks your way and his familiar, sweet smile greets you. “Hey cutie, did you finish your project?”
He walks over, his shirt thrown over his broad shoulders. Heat travels across your cheeks, you swear the temperature in the room went up several degrees. You’re batting your eyelashes, but averting any attention from his defined figure as he closes the space between you two.
Jaemin’s heart swells at the sight of your shy antics. He can’t imagine anyone as cute as you, so reactive to every little thing he does. He doesn’t even see Mark in the room, all he wants to pay attention to is you.
“Almost. Mark has been distracting.” Maybe your voice naturally gets airy around him, Jaemin just makes you want to twirl your hair and smile all the time. He takes a seat on the armrest next to you. As he crosses his arms, his biceps make their appearance once again – all voluptuous and strong.
“Oh? How so?” He cocks a curious brow, finally taking a glance over at his housemate. Mark snickers at how differently you react to Jaemin’s casual demeanor. For all he has known, this is how Jaemin is. He’ll walk around shirtless, even pants less, as if it is any normal day. But since Mark kindly warns him that you’re going to be coming around, he complies.
Now, Jaemin just wants to drive you into delirium.
Your mind is absolutely wiped, there is nothing more distracting than a half naked Jaemin – this you knew too well. As you tremble over your words, Mark saves the day by falsely admitting how he’s been trying to chat with you so he didn’t have to do his essay.
“Ah, chatterbox. I’m jealous.” Jaemin gets up and spins on his heel, heading toward the stairs. Your body unknowingly leans toward his fleeting figure, a pout tugging at the corner of your lips.
Jaemin’s finger taps along the railing, drawing a trail as he walks up each step. “I wish I got to distract you from your project, talk to you for hours.”
You’re freaking out internally, trying to decipher if he had just spit out an innuendo or if he genuinely meant it. You fight the urge to completely yell at the top of your lungs how much you’d love him to. Mark also bites back the scream that threatens to escape, not believing what he is a witness to.
“You can!” Your chirpy, forced tone nearly cracks from your nervousness. “Join us after your shower.” Even if you wanted him alone, you’re willing to settle for moments with Mark in them.
“I’ll come, don’t worry.” No flirtation, no smug smirks, Jaemin gently reassures you that he’ll come back for you. And while the heavy tension in the air dissipates, you’re finding your heart to throb at his thoughtfulness.
“Dude, you’re so whipped for him.” Mark giggles and you’re throwing a decorative pillow at his chest, very much embarrassed. “I should let you guys be alone, would you want that?”
The second Mark proposes his question, your heart shakes at the possibility of Jaemin and you finally alone again for an extended period of time. It is a nerve wrecking thought, you can feel your pulse racing. Not that you had avoided such a potential situation, but you didn’t really think you would get the chance to. Now that your good friend knows everything, he has the power to help you out.
“I do.” You’re admitting so much of your vulnerability that Mark actually softens at your tiny request. He nods and packs up his things without any hesitation. “But where are you going to go?” You didn’t want to seem like you were kicking out your friend from his own house.
He brushes off your guilty tone, “don’t worry. There’s a study session happening in 15 minutes for one of my classes.” With that, he slings his backpack over his shoulder and takes a moment to look at you. His facial expression is hard to decipher.
You stand and he holds your shoulders, “no more secrets.” Mark says with glossy eyes and a small smile. “And use protection.” He laughs, breaking the almost sweet and serious moment you two rarely share. You push him off and roll your eyes, though secretly grateful that you have Mark in your life.
It’s agonizing as you wait for Jaemin to come out of the shower, being completely alone with your hypotheticals and expectations eating away at you. There’s no way you have the capacity right now to focus on your project and homework. Jaemin just consumed every bit of you.
When he finally walks down the stairs, fully clothed and hair freshly blow dried, you pretend again that you’re too busy to notice. He heads toward the kitchen to open a can of Diet Pepsi and makes his way back. Jaemin snuggles up next to you, arm draped around the back of your side of the couch and you’re drowning in the scent of his body wash.
“Mark left?” He sips, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his jaw tightening with each gulp. You’re lost in his seeping aura, wondering how the fuck he looks so good doing something so simple.
Clearing your throat, you place your laptop on the coffee table and face up at him. He meets your starry eyes and it takes so much in you to not break away. “Study session.”
Jaemin nods knowingly, leaning forward to also neatly set down his can. Almost immediately, the atmosphere in the room shifts from light hearted to heavy sensual tension. Not that either one of you expected anything to happen, but just being in each other’s presence is suffocating and intoxicating all at once.
Now that you’re finally alone with him, you can’t help all the nerves and flips in your stomach from happening. “I kept you waiting then.” His voice is raspy, causing it to sound deeper than normal.
Shaking your head, you say the first thing your heart thinks of. “I’m always willing to wait for you.” Jaemin lifts an eyebrow at your statement, noting the shock in your face as soon as it filled the air. His arm snakes around your waist, pulling you onto his lap and you’re maneuvering your legs to straddle him.
This intimate position has your heart springing out of your chest, thumping so aggressively that you swear he can feel it against his own. His hands are politely placed on your back and he peers up at you with a sultry stare. You’re holding your breath and unsure where to place your hands, losing your wits already at how things have escalated.
“Is this alright with you? Am I doing too much?” He cautiously asks, ready to set you back down to where he had selfishly pulled you from.
“This,” Scrambling, tripping, cat’s got your tongue! Jaemin doesn’t realize how your mind has been lit with flames all from this one swift movement. “This is fine. I like this.”
He smirks, “you like being on top of me?” When he asks such a nasty question, you’re too bashful to play along. Jaemin chuckles, “you’re driving me crazy right now.”
You are? It’s quite unbelievable that any of this has an effect on him. Perhaps he is better at holding back his reactive facial expressions, but Jaemin seems so laid back and unphased. “Me? I’ve barely said more than a few sentences.”
“It’s not about the quantity, you can say anything to me and I’d be smitten for you.” Jaemin taps your nose, in a loving and endearing way. You’re getting a side of him you’ve never really seen before – this head over heels, heart eyed fool. A part of you craves more of this, feeling special at how he only has eyes for you.
The other part is shocked that you’re even experiencing any of this, how did you get so lucky?
“Jaem, are you going to finally tell me how you feel about me?” When you say his name, his nonchalant attitude almost falters. His ears perk up, eyes alert and a tighter grip on the hem of your shirt. “How did we get here?”
He purses his lips, contemplating long and hard about how he should go about explaining himself. Your voice is more stern, he can tell you’ve been wanting to get an answer to this for a while.
“I like you.” Jaemin says it so easily, those words roll off of his tongue effortlessly that it surprises himself.
“Since when?” You don’t mean to sound so interrogative, but all this time, this didn’t make any sense to you. Maybe your own lovey eyes blinded you from seeing his feelings or that your own self esteem halted you from believing someone like him could like you back. Nevertheless, this all came about so suddenly for you.
A small smile grows on his face as he thinks back to the first time he saw you. Your timid introduction and you glued to Mark’s side, but none of that could take away from how pretty you looked.
And when he first heard you laugh, like really laugh, he swore he needed to hear it again, and again, and again. Sooner or later, he found your shyness irresistibly adorable and he only wanted to interact with you more, but was unsure about your relationship with Mark.
Ultimately, Jaemin decided to keep his distance because you and Mark seemed more than close. However, the more he pulled away, the more you filled his empty thoughts and daydreams.
Whenever you came around, he found himself happier just upon seeing you for a brief second and hearing your silly anecdotes to Mark all the way from his room. If all you two had exchanged was a small greeting, Jaemin would be satisfied.
Until the night you stayed for one of their drunk kickbacks, and something inside of him unlocked. A new sense of desire? The introduction of lust and curiosity.
Jaemin noted the way you’d squirm, dig yourself deeper into the cushions, hide your face in your shirt. Your reactions to his friends’ sexual adventures were typical, full of gasps and slight embarrassment, but your eyes were more than telling of your piqued interest. The one thing that he hated was that you never openly shared a single thing, even when asked.
So, that meant he didn’t either. In a more respectful sense, he normally doesn’t dive into the nitty details as much as his housemates do, but you were such a mysterious person. He wanted to keep himself that way as well, making him as alluring as you were. The art of not knowing, just makes you want to know more.
And when you would stand up for him against the other boys, that boldness only made you more attractive. Maybe you didn’t want to know about his personal endeavors, regardless, you respected his privacy and were willing to break out of your shell for him.
What other layers of you has he not seen? That caused him to wonder how much he could push you, what other reactions he could draw out of you, and gauge if you had any interest in him.
In between your nervous stammers and long stares, Jaemin had some inkling that you might be into him. However, he couldn’t tell if that was just his ego deluding his judgment or if it was the actual truth.
He had something less drastic in mind than you walking in on him in the bathroom. But, he thought if he waited and hesitated as much as he did before, there would never really be another chance. If you were disinterested, it would’ve been a lighthearted mistake and brief awkwardness. If you were interested, then it opens the door metaphorically as well.
So in the spur of the moment, as he heard your voice and footsteps down the hallway, he quickly unlocked the door. His heart pounded rapidly in his chest as he tried to keep his phone steady.
Act natural. Be cool. Be confident.
He just hoped you couldn’t see right through his desperate act. And when you opened the door and everything that followed after, it was enough to wash away any doubt he had before.
After dropping you off, he decided right then and there that he was going to pursue you.
“Would you believe me if I told you it was since the day I met you?” His voice is soft and quiet. Jaemin brushes a few strands of hair out of your face, gently tucking it behind your ear. “I was looking forward to your presence without realizing it. I’d tell Haechan and Jeno how I was excited to hear your voice, even if it wasn’t speaking to me.”
He could be such a romantic, though this didn’t come too much of a shock to you. You couldn’t believe that you’d be the recipient of it one day. “Since the day we met. That feels like ages ago.” Your eyes wander off, trying to regain the distant memory.
You could barely remember the day Mark introduced you to his housemates. It was such a blurry scene, mostly because you were so painstakingly nervous so you tried to bury it in the depths of your mind. The only thing you remember was the tight grip you had on Mark’s sleeve and Jaemin’s gorgeous smile.
“Why didn’t you try approaching me? Be my friend, get to know me back then?” You ask, a small edge in your tone. Instead of months of googly, heart eyed stares, you two could’ve been acquainted much earlier. Your relationship would’ve been so far along, milestones would’ve already been hit. A thousand kisses would’ve already been exchanged.
Jaemin is well aware of his lack of action, “I wasn’t sure about you and Mark. I didn’t want to overstep and initially, I couldn’t tell if you even wanted to be around anyone besides him.” Now his questions to both you and Mark made sense.
He wanted to be absolutely certain that there would be no conflict. No room for anyone else. No blurred lines. Jaemin wanted to do it right.
“So, me walking in on you in the bathroom… was that an honest mistake?” As all the dots connected and all the lines matched up, you’re replaying all the moments that led up to this point.
He can see the gears turning in your beautiful head and laughs, “like I said, somehow, it’s always unlocked when you’re around.”
Rolling your eyes, you settle with your own conclusion that perhaps it was in his plans all along to fluster the fuck out of you. As much as you hate to admit it, it worked. Hook, line and sinker.
“How do you feel?” Jaemin asks, as his knuckles rub lovingly against your cheek. His big hand slides toward your jawline and he firmly cups your face, a quick flicker from your eyes to your lips.
Intense. That is how you feel. At any second, you are a volcano ready to erupt. All these pent up emotions – lust, fondness, frustration – burst at your seams. All of which is unbeknownst to Jaemin, despite being the very spark of it.
“I feel like you should kiss me now.” Spoken confidently, Jaemin is shocked at your response. You didn’t have to ask him twice though, as he pulled you into him without missing a beat.
The kiss is slow and cautious, like he is holding back from doing too much, taking too much. He guides your hands onto his collarbones and across his toned chest. Underneath his thin shirt, you feel how strong and defined he is. You’re hesitant at first, unaware of how much you could feel.
Jaemin could sense it, pausing in between your small kisses to take off his shirt. You’re wide eyed, fully shocked at his chiseled body right in front of you. It’s just like how you remembered from his photo, except now it’s not through a tiny phone screen. All on display, Jaemin takes your shaky hands and places them delicately on his broad shoulders.
“Touch me.” It’s all he has to say until your lips are connected again. His hot skin against your fingertips as you’re dragging them down his biceps, moving along all of his exposed terrain.
Adrenaline fills your system and you can’t even begin to stop all the lustful and romantic feelings that bubble across your chest. So, you fervently kiss him back to signal just how much you want it, how much you wish to be kissed by him.
Jaemin loses it between your sweet touches and your eagerness, both hands now holding your face steady for him to deepen the kiss. The feverish glide of his lips on yours is something unforgettable. It’s inimitable, a passion that solely exists for the two of you. Kissing Jaemin is blissful, like nothing matters more than being here lips locked and hands on his bare chest.
Kissing Jaemin also ruined you. Moving forward, you’ll crave this feeling forever. How are you supposed to kiss anyone else in this world now? How will you ever want to kiss anyone else knowing you’ve experienced this?
You two make out until condensation forms on the outside of his Diet Pepsi can. There is a lingering taste of the soda on his tongue; a taste you once hated so much is now something you can’t get enough of.
When you’re both finally pulling away, your lips are puffy and Jaemin is catching his breath. He could feel his heart bursting at the sight of your disheveled hair and pouty lips. You’re the prettiest baby he’s ever seen.
He’s staring at you with tiny stars in his eyes, ones that reflect your own. And he breaks the silence, “now we can finally tell Mark we kissed.” A sweet, kind smile appears at the end of his sentence.
You’re laughing, and Jaemin’s heart flutters knowing he is the reason behind that melodic sound he loves hearing so much.
“Mark is going to love hearing about this.”
#nct scenarios#jaemin scenarios#nct dream scenarios#nct dream#na jaemin scenarios#na jaemin#nct scenario#nct#nct fluff#nct smut#jaemin scenario#jaemin x reader#jaemin fluff#jaemin imagines#nct dream x reader#nct x reader
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JAMES POTTER | BOUDOIR PHOTOSHOOT
sum. : you have your bridesmaids show James, your, now, husband, polaroid samples from your boudoir photoshoot on your wedding night while you enjoy his reactions from afar
quick note : boudoir is a photography style showcasing sensual, romantic and even erotic images of the subject person. It showcases and celebrates the person's beauty and sexuality.
tags. : marrying james potter ; fluff ; kinda spicy ; you have the best bridesmaids ; inspired by a tiktok ; james is the perfect man for you ; wedding day! ; james loves your body ; no mentions of specific body type; james can't wait for his wedding 'night' ; shy reader shows her wild side~
length : 2k
navi. | more james potter
In preparation for your wedding day, you participated in a boudoir photoshoot. You were marrying the man of your dreams, the most perfect man for you, James Potter. It was your way of expressing your love, to show him how confident and beautiful he made you feel. Not a day goes by without him whispering an affectionate ‘I love you’ into your ear or expressing how beautiful he finds you despite the imperfections you nitpick along the lines of your body. He doesn’t let your toxic, self-deprecating thoughts linger for long; he loves every beautiful inch of you and he’s not afraid to show it, especially when you make love together. He loves you unconditionally and makes you want for nothing more in life. With him, you’re always content.
This was a thank you to him for loving you so wholeheartedly and to showcase the beauty you were able to find in yourself because of him. You worked with your bridesmaids to pick out the perfect set of lingerie to wear for the photo shoot and had the most amazing photographer guiding you throughout. She was the perfect balance of encouragement, support and positive energy. And she was so respectful too. You were always the shy type so the beginning was quite wobbly but you eventually found your flow and it ended on such a high note. As promised, she created a beautiful photo album of the pictures you approved and made small Polaroid samples of the ones you wanted your bridesmaids to ambush James with on your wedding night.
The shoot was weeks ago and now you were on the evening of your Wedding day. Everyone was dancing around, having a fun time, James’ close friends were a good level of tipsy with several of the guests congregating around the wedding live-painter to admire her work. It wasn’t ready yet but you made sure to check on her and keep her well-fed throughout the night; she was a guest too and was doing something incredible for your wedding, it was the least you could do.
You fondly eye James as he dances with your family, a bright smile on his face. You still remember walking down the aisle, smiling at him as he wipes at his eyes, sniffling wetly at the sight of you but he was grinning the entire time. Neither of you has stopped smiling the whole day, you believe. It really was the perfect wedding.
“Are you ready, Mrs Potter?” Lily whispers teasingly, trying to suppress a giggle as she flattens a Polaroid sample of your boudoir shoot to her chest. Your other bridesmaids, Marlene, Mary, Dorcas and Alice have also come to surround you, mischievous grins on their faces as they each tightly hold onto a Polaroid sample, making sure that it wouldn’t be seen by anyone but the intended target by holding it close to their chests.
Biting your lip, you temper a wide grin and nod. They squeal and turn to one another with a buzz in their veins, “Just like we planned ladies,” Alice giggles before they all nod and split up with Marlene heading straight for James. You don’t know what photo any of the girls have but Lily informed you that they formed an order from least to most scandalous. It was devious but a good plan. You move to stand in view of James so you can see his reaction to each photo from afar, the girls also hold up their phones to record his reaction from up close so they can send you the video later on.
James was dancing along happily, not having drunk a single drop of alcohol as he wanted to savour every moment of his wedding ceremony. He wanted to remember everything! He was also pretty sure he didn’t need alcohol to feel drunk, the electric feeling in the air was all he needed to fly high above the clouds. He’s never been so happy his entire life; he married the woman of his dreams and she let him give her his last name. He feels complete. And he was still riding that high when Marlene came up to him with a Cheshire grin on her face.
“Yohooo~ Jamsiekins!” James rolls his eyes but smiles at her nonetheless.
“Yes, McKinnon?” a small bolt of worry flashes through him, “Is my wife okay?”
“She’s perfect! She actually wanted me to give you a present~” James raises a brow and tries to look for you in the crowd but is unsuccessful when Marlene steps closer, her phone raised and flips the Polaroid that was pressed to her chest at him. He gives it a brief glance, barely registering the image before going slackjawed and doing a double take. The second time, he looks at it longer and with wide eyes, wanting to imprint the entire image into his brain.
“So beautiful…” James trails off, staring longingly at the image of you in a see-through nightgown leaning against the windowsill with your hair beautifully done and your beauty on show under the gentle sun. He stutters in place when Marlene flips the Polaroid again. He looks at her like a hurt puppy, “Is th-that for me? C-can I keep it?” He reaches for the Polaroid and thankfully, Marlene surrenders it without a fuss. He grins and kisses the photo before tucking it into his blazer's breast pocket, “Thank you~”
“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr Potter,” Marlene salutes him with two fingers before marching off to pull Sirius away from the buffet table and onto the dance floor. James chuckles at her antics before looking through the crowds until he meets your shy eyes. His gaze softens with affection at your bashful demeanour and he sets out a clear path towards you.
But he’s stopped by Alice who has another Polaroid and also has her phone raised. She, too, shows him the Polaroid of you, this time laid across a bed and sweetly looking into the camera at your side with a hidden smile, a lacy, see-through slip dress draping over your figure. His eyes linger on the curve of your spine and the perfect roundness of your butt. He can make out the small, lacy set you wear underneath and he swears he’s found heaven on earth. His hands immediately go up to cover the Polaroid from both sides as he bites his bottom lip to suppress a feral scream.
“God, I’m so lucky…” he looks up at Alice from behind the camera, which perfectly captures the lovestruck look in his eyes and the soft blush on his cheeks, “That’s my wife…she’s my wife” he sounds breathless and giddy, making Alice laugh before surrendering the Polaroid. She sends you the video of James before looking for Frank and silently wishing the rest of the girls luck.
James quickly puts Alice’s polaroid into his breast pocket too and returns on his path to you. But he barely makes it two steps forward before Lily ambushes him with another Polaroid and a phone to his face. He wants to smile like a madman but his dropped jaw makes it too difficult. He immediately snatches the photo and cradles it preciously, admiring your beauty once more. You’re scandalously raising your nightgown to showcase your cute, lace panties, a matching garter belt and thigh highs as you innocently look at the camera with glossy, smiling lips.
“Ho-ly. Shit…” he swallows hard and begins to pant like an animal in heat, “Oh my– fuck!” he holds the Polaroid to his chest with reddening cheeks and wild eyes. He sags comically, dramatically showing how he’s close to collapsing on the spot. He’s seeing an entirely new side of you, not that he’s complaining, he just wasn’t prepared. A feral, primitive instinct builds up from within him. He desperately fights it and the urge to savagely take you in front of everyone, “She’s trying to kill me! This isn’t fair! She’s so sexy!” Lily giggles maniacally at him and pats his shoulder as if to wish him luck and James both dreads and is excited about what may come next.
He’s soon stopped by Dorcas. This time his brows fly up to his hair line and he forgets to breathe. His hands instinctively shield the photo as he bends down to observe the small image so closely his nose touches the film. He pulls back and releases a heavy breath before leaning in again with the same shocked but appreciative look on his flushed face.
“Woah!” he looks around frantically as if he’s doing something he isn’t supposed to do and looks at the picture of you for a third time, trying hard not to groan at the tightening in his trousers. The image is of you from behind, draped over a decorative vintage sofa with your ass in the air, there’s no see-through nightgown, only a red lacy number with a garter belt and thigh highs. He berates himself for the dirty scene that flashes in his mind; he’s perfectly positioned behind you, his hands gripping your hips as he grinds his—
“Keep it in your pants,” Dorcas laughs at him as she walks away, her phone still raised at him.
“You’re not making it very easy for me!” James huffs in mock anger, hastily pocketing his fourth Polaroid that night.
When Mary comes up to him with the same routine, James doesn’t know whether he groans from suppressed excitement or dread at making a fool of himself in front of you for a fifth time. He knows you're watching him and seeing his reactions closely from the videos the girls were taking. And, although he wants to be a gentleman, you’ve always gotten such a big reaction from him over the littlest things, it’s only natural he gets worked up over scandalous images of you too.
This photo of you was the most scandalous and immediately stole James’ breath away. It’s a top-down view of you on a bed with half-lidded eyes, your bra unclasped and in the process of slipping off if it weren’t for your arm coming across your chest to stop it. The position, however, only further accentuates your cleavage and his eyes linger on the delicious sight for an embarrassingly long time. Your other hand reaches down and fingers just beneath your panty line, a suggestive action he desperately wants you to recreate for him in private later. You looked ripe and ready to be eaten alive and James would gladly jump at the opportunity. It’s the perfect snapshot of you just before he devours you whole. The photo has him reaching to unbuckle his belt but he resists and snatches it up instead, panting like a dog with a wild glint in his hazel eyes. “This better be the last one of my wife or else I’m punching a wall,” Mary shakes her head at him with a laugh, “it’s not funny! I’m going crazy!”
With a wink, Mary confirms that it’s the last one and tilts her head in your direction. Without wasting another second, James rushes to you, his beautiful bride, dressed in white. It was the best day of his life but he wants it to hurry up and be over already so he can finally have you to himself. All polaroids are tucked safely into his inner blazer pocket as he wraps you up in his arms and buries his face into the junction of your neck and shoulder. “I’m going mad over you, love,” he voices with a hidden growl to his voice, kissing and sucking at your exposed skin, whilst desperately breathing in the fragrance of you. You’ve never seen him so… animalistic before but it lights a fire inside you that you happily fall into.
“Wait until you see the whole album~” Your comment has him shooting up, away from your neck and leaning into your face. The feral look in his eyes is unmistakable as he whispers against your lips.
“There’s an entire album of you looking like that?”
“Yes~ And it’s all for you~” James almost faints on the spot.
navi. | more james potter
a/n : for those curious, this is the tiktok it was inspired by hehe~ this was a little nsfw but i hope you darlings enjoyed!
#james potter#james potter x reader#marauders#james potter x you#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfic#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter fanfiction#james potter fic
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lie to girls [l.jn]
you don't have to lie to girls. if they like you, they'll just lie to themselves.
MDNI, 18+
SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.
PAIRING | bff!jeno x afab!reader (x univ student!jaemin)
CONTENT | university!au, best friends to ?, angst, infidelity (no i do not condone this), swearing, miscommunication, drinking, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], nipple play, unprotected sex [dont do this], dirty talk, few degrading names, perv!jeno, voyeurism? [listening in], masturbation, cream pie), lowercase intended, doesn’t end in angst
FEATURING | nct dream, nct 127’s jaehyun, aespa’s karina & winter, le sserafim’s chaewon & yunjin, txt’s soobin, the boyz’s eric
WORDS | 25.9k
PLAYLIST | lie to girls – sabrina carpenter, everytime – ariana grande, focus – niki, wildflower – billie eilish, cry – cigarettes after sex
A/N | quick disclaimer that this is all fiction, and my depiction of the characters i used is far from reality. i wanted to make the characters (mostly y/n and jeno) a bit flawed but idk dont think too heavily and please read with an open heart and mind. enjoy! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (leaving feedback would be great!) <3
“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.
you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.
“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.
“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”
unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.
you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.
“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.
“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?
“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.
jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”
you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.
“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.
you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.
“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.
“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”
jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”
you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”
jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”
and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.
“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.
you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.
mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come? mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together
struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.
“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.
“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.
“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.
karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.
you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?
“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.
“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.
you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.
you: where are u? need someone to talk to
“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”
mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.
just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.
you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.
you were there for it all.
you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.
you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.
you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.
you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.
however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.
every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.
but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.
“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”
“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”
“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping. you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”
mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”
you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”
it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.
there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.
chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.
“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”
you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.
“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”
you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.
you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.
chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”
chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.
“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.
her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.
as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.
you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.
“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.
you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”
their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.
“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.
“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.
“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.
before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.
your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.
“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.
“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.
“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.
the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.
from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.
“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.
jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”
jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”
“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.
“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”
“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.
karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”
chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”
you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.
jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.
meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.
“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.
“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.
jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.
you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.
you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.
soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.
“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”
jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.
jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.
you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.
“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.
you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.
he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.
“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.
jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.
“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?
your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.
“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.
“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.
you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.
“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.
jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.
there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.
what was he doing?
he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.
“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.
jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.
this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.
but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.
“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.
“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.
stop.
stop!
you couldn’t stop.
jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.
jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.
his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?
“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.
“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”
the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.
“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.
“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.
“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.
it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.
you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.
the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.
you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.
you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.
you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.
“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.
chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.
and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.
you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.
jeno: hey jeno: how are u? jeno: we should really talk jeno: let me know when ure free jeno: i miss u y/n jeno: pls dont ignore me
you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.
but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.
“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”
“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.
the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.
“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”
moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.
“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”
“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”
chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.
“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.
“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”
the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.
“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.
chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.
“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?
“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.
shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.
“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.
get a hold of yourself.
you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?
you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.
“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”
“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”
his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.
you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.
“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.
you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?
“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.
haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.
“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.
“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.
the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.
the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.
“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.
the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.
“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.
“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.
jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”
“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“
“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.
“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.
jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.
jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.”
“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”
“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.
“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.
jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”
“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.
“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.
“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.
“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”
“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.
the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.
“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.
the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.
“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.
you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.
eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”
you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.
“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”
jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.
haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.
“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.
a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.
curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.
“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.
the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.
“jeno.” you breathed, .
“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.
jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.
“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“
“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.
“i—no.”
“jeno.” you glared at him.
“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”
“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.
“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.
“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.
jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”
“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?
“does he kiss better than me?”
“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”
“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”
thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.
“i want to kiss you again.”
“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?
“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.
“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.
“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.
“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.
“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”
you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.
jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.
“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.
“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”
“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.
your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?
as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.
jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.
one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.
feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.
“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”
you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.
you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.
“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”
“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.
“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.
his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.
in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.
“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”
“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”
“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.
you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips, mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.
“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”
a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.
“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”
his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.
your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.
lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.
you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.
sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.
“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.
you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”
jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.
“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”
you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.
“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.
you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.
you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.
you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.
“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.
“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.
“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.
“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”
jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.
then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?
you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.
“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”
jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.
your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?
tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.
your little secret was eating you alive.
here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.
the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.
after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.
you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.
jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.
you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.
it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.
“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”
“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.
if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.
from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.
the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone.
his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it.
jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.
“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.
“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.
jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.
why did he lie about seeing karina?
“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.
“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.
you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.
once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.
“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.
“what do you mean?”
“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.
“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.
“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.
“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.
“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”
“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.
“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.
“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”
“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.
they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.
they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.
“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”
as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.
you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.
to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.
jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.
moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.
“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.
jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.
“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.
“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”
jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”
“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.
“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.
jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.
“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.
you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.
“good, that makes the two of us.”
the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.
he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.
jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks
no. it couldn’t be.
“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.
across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.
blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.
you stood still, watching the scene before you unfold. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.
“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.
the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.
“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.
“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.
the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.
you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.
somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.
“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.
your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.
karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”
“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.
“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.
jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.
“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”
you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.
you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno.
jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.
once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.
the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.
“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.
you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.
jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.”
you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.
“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.
jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.
without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.
you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.
the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.
“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”
“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.
“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”
you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.
jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy in the air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.
“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.
you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.
jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.
jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.
but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.
jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.
did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?
as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.
“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.
“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.
“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.
jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.
“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.
you nodded, unable to find the words.
jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.
his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.
he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”
jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”
your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.
“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.
“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.
with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.
“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”
“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.
you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.
“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.
“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.
“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”
you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.
no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.
“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.
chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”
her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.
“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.
a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.
“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”
the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.
“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.
“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.
jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.
how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?
jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?
so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?
jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”
all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.
your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.
“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.
you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”
you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.
it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.
jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.
you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”
you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.
“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.
“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.
“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.
“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.
oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.
“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”
you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him.
you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”
jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.
“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”
“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.
from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.
“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.
jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.
only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.
holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.
jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.
“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.
jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.
your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.
you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.
in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.
“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.
jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?”
you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.
jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.
“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.
“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.
“exactly.”
jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.
the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.
jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.
“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.
you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.
jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”
“how did you—“
“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”
you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.
“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”
you glared at him. “this is wrong.”
“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”
jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.
“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”
jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal.
your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.
“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.
“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.
“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”
jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.
“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.
you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch.
“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.
jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.
“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.
your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.
“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.
a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.
jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.
that was so hot.
you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.
you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”
jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.
you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”
“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.
“don’t push it.”
you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.
you: i need u where are u mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to mark: diner? you: be there in 10
your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.
“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.
you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.
“what’d you say?”
you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.
“it depends.”
“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.
“is this about jeno?”
“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”
“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.
“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”
“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.
you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.
mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.
when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.
“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”
“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.
“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”
anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”
mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”
he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.
“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”
“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”
you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.
after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.
“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand.
jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.
“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.
you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.
“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”
karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.
jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.
you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.
you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.
it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”
you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”
his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”
“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”
“y/n…”
“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”
jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.
“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”
“what—”
“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”
“y/n, its not like that—”
“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”
“mean?”
“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”
“i’m sorry…”
“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.
“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.
“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.
“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”
“you love karina.” you finished for him.
jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever
the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.
“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.
“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.
jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”
you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”
“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”
“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.
“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.”
you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”
“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”
you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.
the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.
your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.
“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”
his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”
jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”
“and then what?”
“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”
your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.
“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.
jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”
and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.
the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.
he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.
jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.
i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.
but you… you were different.
you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.
jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not?
the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.
realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.
he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend.
he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?
jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.
“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”
“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.
jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.
“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.
“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”
his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.
it was you and jeno—kissing.
he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.
jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.
“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”
jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.
what exactly do you say at this moment?
“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”
“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.
“what?” karina asked incredulously.
“she’s not a whore.”
“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.
“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.
karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.
“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”
“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.
“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”
karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“
“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more
the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.
“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”
“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”
“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”
karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.
jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.
“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”
jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”
karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.
jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.
“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.
jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.
“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“
“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.
jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.
“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?
“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.
“what?”
“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”
“but you said—“
“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.
jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.”
“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”
taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.
you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.
the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.
“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.
you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—
your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.
it was jaemin.
jaemin: hey, y/n. jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late. jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. jaemin: i’m sorry.
your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.
what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?
your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?
you: did i do something wrong?
jaemin replied almost immediately.
jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can. jaemin: take care, y/n.
your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.
you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.
what the fuck was going on?
another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.
karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends karina: *sent one photo*
holy shit.
you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.
and karina knows.
your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.
without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.
the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.
“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.
“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.
chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”
soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.
“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”
“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”
chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”
you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.
“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”
even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.
after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.
lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.
it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.
you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.
you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.
it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.
you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.
you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.
you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.
jeno.
“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.
“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.
“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.
“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.
“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”
“i thought you needed time.”
“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.
“karina sent me—“
“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”
your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”
“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. “for real this time.”
“oh.”
“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”
“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”
“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”
“then what is it, jeno?”
“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”
you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.
“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”
your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.
and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.
“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.
“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”
“kiss me.”
jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.
“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.
jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.
jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.
you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”
“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”
“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.
“that you’re mine.”
“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.
“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”
you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.
“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.
in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.
jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.
“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”
jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.
“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.
“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”
“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.
“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”
jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.
“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.
jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.
“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”
you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.
jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”
“hurry up.”
jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.
you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.
“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.
you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.
“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.
“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.
you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace,
“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”
whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.
“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.
jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.
the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.
“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.
“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.
“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”
jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.
“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.
you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.
“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”
“inside, jen.”
“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.
“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.
jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
“i love you, too, jeno.”
relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.
in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.
“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.
you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”
jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”
you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”
the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”
the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.
“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.
you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.
“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.
“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”
“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”
“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.
“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.
“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”
jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.
as the night went on, the teasing and laughter continued. jeno stayed close, his hand never leaving yours. it felt good—natural—to finally not be afraid. throughout the evening, you caught him staring at you on multiple occasions. his eyes filled with adoration every single time, your heart felt content, and you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.
#please leave some thoughts !!!#this literally took my blood sweat and tears#nct#nct dream#lee jeno#jeno imagines#nct imagines#jeno smut#nct smut#jeno angst#nct angst#jeno x reader#nct x reader#jeno oneshot#nct oneshot#jeno scenarios#nct scenarios
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