#to the point where im having trouble sleeping

[slutdge]

god i need winter to be over my skin is so fucking dry 😭

[kettleghost]

having an internet presence has become extremely stressful for me as of recent, sorry for the slower rate at which im posting, hope ur all having an awesome december!

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[tinycoffeeroom]

treat you better | carlos sainz

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and he’s there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you ❤️

cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing

a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3

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November

👤 charles_leclerc liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others

f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?

fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it

fan when i catch you charles

fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro ↳ fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race ↳ fan kmag you know what you need to do ↳ fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror 🙏🙏

fan ok but the girls gorgeous ↳ fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS? ↳ fan im just saying damn

fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting

fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything

fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her ↳ fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week

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liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others

y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)

kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok 🤍 ↳ y/npriv thank u kelly bear 🤍 ↳ kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so ↳ y/npriv 😭😭 hes not voldemort babe 😭 you should have just let him go ↳ kellypiquet now is that really how you feel? ↳ y/npriv ... no but i wish i did ↳ maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free ↳ y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)

carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel 🩷 ↳ y/npriv i love you carm 🩷 ↳ georgerussell63 and me? ↳ y/npriv i tolerate you :)

flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max ↳ y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear ↳ estebanocon ?? hey??? ↳ y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie ↳ estebanocon let it DIEEEEE ↳ y/npriv never 🫶

schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x ↳ y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x ♥️ schecoperez

lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands ↳ y/npriv i fuckin love you lily

lewishamilton he will never know peace next year. ↳ lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x ↳ y/npriv lewis 😭 thank you x

francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour... ↳ y/npriv 😭 ... what are they saying ↳ francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read... ↳ y/npriv pierre i appreciate you ↳ pierregasly i'm gonna kill him ↳ y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie

lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him ↳ y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow ↳ alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head

sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x ↳ y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x ↳ sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x ↳ y/npriv you got it! x

danielricciardo he's a cunt ↳ danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way ↳ y/npriv DANIEL ↳ oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt ↳ y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this ↳ oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age... ↳ y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar ↳ oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest ↳ y/npriv that's better

carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat) ↳ y/npriv carlos 😭 ↳ carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love ↳ y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is ↳ carlossainz55 my plan is working :) ↳ y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak ↳ carlossainz55 something like that ;)

yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :((((( ↳ y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about

kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do ↳ y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!! ↳ kevinmagnussen worth it :) ↳ y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate ↳ nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense" ↳ y/npriv haas i am so sorry

landonorris i may have done a thing... ↳ y/npriv i am terrified... ↳ landonorris i'll text you :)

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📍Monaco

👤 landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others

y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls 🩷

Comments on this post have been limited

carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber ↳ y/nstagram do you really want to know? 🤨 ↳ carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb ↳ landonorris why am i dumber????? ↳ carlossainz55 do you really want to know? 🤨

carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx ↳ y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane 🫶

landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw 🙄 ↳ y/nstagram my saviour xx ↳ landonorris and for stealing leo for you ↳ y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? 😭 ↳ landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture ↳ y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(

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FEBRUARY

(estrellita - little star) (uy, quécarechimba - ugh, that dickhead)

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📍Shanghai

👤 carlossainz55, landonorris liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others

y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x

fan mother has returned!!!!! ♥️ y/nstagram

fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING ↳ fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all ↳ fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace ↳ fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything ↳ fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????

scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname ↳ y/nstagram what else should i call you? ↳ carlossainz55 yours ↳ fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????

landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get... ↳ y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)

lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;) ↳ mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n! ↳ mclaren um no us next?? ↳ alpinef1team no us!!! ↳ redbullracing come to the winning team :) ↳ scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF 🤺🤺🤺 ♥️ carlossainz55

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charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added to their story to their story

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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others

y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch

oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though? ↳ y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so 🤷🏻‍♀️ ↳ oscarpiastri understandable, please continue

danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib ↳ landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u ↳ y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops ↳ landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff? ↳ y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me

maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED ↳ y/npriv 👀👀 carlossainz55 can you confirm? ↳ carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something

francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months ↳ y/npriv apparently not 🙃 texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry ↳ francisca.c.gomes men 🙄 ↳ pierregasly ???? ↳ francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said ↳ y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly? ↳ pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were

scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n ↳ danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv? ↳ y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx

carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it ↳ y/npriv 👀 are you paying? ↳ carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman ↳ y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)

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liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others

f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.

fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it

fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock 🤭🤭 we know who won the breakup

fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together ↳ fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal ↳ fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple

fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things ❤️

fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!! ↳ fan he would treat her so right ↳ fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along 👀 ↳ fan or maybe he's just a good guy ↳ fan that too 🤷🏻‍♀️

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APRIL

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📍 Australia

liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others

carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!

See 98,072 other comments

fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS??? ↳ fan either lando or y/n 100% 😭

fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS

y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎 congrats winner 🥳 ↳ carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan oh they're so sick for this ↳ fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning

charles_leclerc congrats ↳ fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment

landonorris carlando are back baby!! ↳ landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie... ↳ y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname ↳ landonorris oh that was mean

fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man

fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race

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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others

y/npriv oh we eating good tonight

kellypiquet i'm sure we are 👀 ↳ y/npriv KELLY???

landonorris carlos is so sexy ↳ y/npriv real ↳ landonorris back off my man??? ↳ carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando... ↳ landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos

carlossainz55 gorgeous as always ↳ y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos 🤣 ↳ carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous ↳ maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth ↳ danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason

scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple ↳ carlossainz55 😉 ↳ y/npriv not from the main acc damn

francisca.c.gomes need you biblically ↳ y/npriv come here then babe xx ↳ flavy.barla lemme join ↳ y/npriv i got two hands babygirl ↳ oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls? ↳ estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others ↳ pierregasly ^^

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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others

y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)

carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man? ↳ y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it 🙄 ↳ carlossainz55 but do you like it? 👀 ↳ y/npriv i think you know i do x

francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT??????? ↳ lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM ↳ y/npriv SHUT UP RN ↳ carlossainz55 no do go on ↳ lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc

carlossainz55 estás muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariño ❤️ (you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart) ↳ maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog ↳ y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man ↳ maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days

landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS?????? ↳ y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ ↳ landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF ↳ landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ???? ↳ carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines ↳ landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know ↳ landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom ↳ y/npriv lando wtf???? ↳ landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth ↳ carlossainz55 hey? ↳ y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily

danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!! ↳ carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason ↳ y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you ↳ carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((

lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos? ↳ y/npriv ... self timer ↳ lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow

scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!! ↳ y/npriv admin 😭 not u too ↳ scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!

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liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others

f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.

fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!! ♥️ 10,829 others

fan she upgraded wowow

fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it

fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen? ♥️ francisca.c.gomes

user not her being a homie hopper 🤢 ↳ carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :) ↳ fan CARLOS????? ↳ fan oh he ate them up ↳ fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama

fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full ❤️

fan queen y/n we trust your judgement

fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn

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📍 England

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others

y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)

fan the carlando bears 😭 her boyfriend(?) and bestie 😭 ↳ landonorris roomie* ↳ y/nstagram you love me shut up

fan she's so unbothered im giggling

francisca.c.gomes the last slide... ↳ y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x ↳ carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver

landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is ↳ y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed ↳ y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday ↳ landonorris you're on bin duty this week? ↳ y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo ↳ landonorris i hope y'all break up ↳ fan LANDO ? ↳ y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat ↳ landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up

fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing ↳ y/nstagram i'll post some soon x ↳ fan the most unserious soft/hard launch

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👤 carlossainz55 liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others

y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?

carlossainz55 please don't chew me??? ↳ y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz

fan her captions are always so real i love her

fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend ♥️ y/nstagram

scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!! ↳ y/nstagram i love u admin ❤️ ↳ scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever ❤️

landonorris i hate this ↳ fan your ex and your roomie 😔 ↳ landonorris you get it 😔 ↳ carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex 🙄 ↳ landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?

francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil? ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ lilymhe ^ ↳ lilyzneimer ^ ↳ flavy.barla ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x ↳ carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend

fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday 🥺 ↳ y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!! ↳ fan on it!! ↳ fan omg how was it meeting them? ↳ fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him 🥺 they're endgame fr ↳ fan could actually cry?? ↳ fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene 😭😭

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👤 y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others

carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenían razón, mi estrellita ❤️ (they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)

See 198,017 other comments

francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend ↳ carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch ↳ francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.

fan he bagged a baddie wowow

fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE ♥️ carlossainz55

y/nstagram 🥺 carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life ❤️ ↳ carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful ❤️

scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz* ↳ carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow... ↳ scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot

user homie hopper ↳ carlossainz55 eat glass :) ↳ y/nstagram CARLOS ↳ scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account

lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better ↳ carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this ↳ y/nstagram YEARS??? ↳ carlossainz55... 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ ↳ y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ... ↳ y/nstagram he just got up and ran away... ↳ fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk ↳ landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator? ↳ danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb

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a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)

[hyuuukais]

heyllo :3

can i request reader x chan? reader is overwhelmed but keeps it in because that’s what they see chan doing a lot of the time. but eventually it builds to a breaking point where the stress causes them to completely shut down. chan doesn’t know exactly what’s wrong so it might be cute if he just sits on the floor in front of reader and plays clips from a song he’s working on and asks for their opinion (by basically talking out loud to himself) and then after reader calms down they are able to verbalize they just need a human weighted blanket and to be told they are doing amazing and their efforts are not going unnoticed.

im fine. 🥲

just hold me, tell me you love me

pairing : chan x reader

notes : me vs the long title. anyway thank uuu for being my first request! i hope this lives up to ur expectations and can provide u some comfort 🫶 sending u hugs and love 🫂💙 sorry it's taken a bit long to get back to! kind of was getting this feeling myself and have been unable to write, but i think i'm getting back

warnings : reader is overwhelmed, mentions of anxiety, fear of opening up to someone, reader is called pet names (love, baby), reader breaks down

wc : 1.4k

All week there's been a growing pressure in your chest threatening to spill all over the floor and leave you a mess, lying on the ground with nothing else to give. Give, you've given all you can, and now that you're home, you can't do it anymore. You seek peace in the quiet of your shared bedroom, your boyfriend still at work in his studio.

Your boyfriend, who works hard day and night. Your boyfriend, who's loving and caring and sweet. Your boyfriend, who you're scared to open up to when things get really hard, because he doesn't share with you either. Although the relationship isn't fresh, going on a year and a half, there are still things you don't talk about. You don't want to burden him with your struggles when you've always been able to power through by yourself.

Fisting the sheets under you, you can feel the need to cry in your body, the hollow feeling in your chest and the tightness in your throat, but nothing comes. It's like your body knows you're too tired for even that simple of an action, for even one tear to slip. So instead, you sit the the blanket over you, face peeking out to stare at the wall with tired eyes. You can't sleep. If you close your eyes, you know you won't drift off and wake up feeling better, you'll just lie there for hours.

"Baby?"

Something spikes in you when you hear Chans voice ring out through the apartment, curling into yourself more. He shouldn't be home this early and yet, here he is, calling your name and wondering where you are; you're never in bed this early. Chan continues to call out for you until you hear the bedroom door opening quietly.

"Love?" Chans footsteps get closer, and you can feel the edge of the bed dip with his weight as he sits down. "My love..."

His hand brushes over your shoulder, but you can't face him. When you bring the blanket over your head more, he seems to get the hint, shifting to lean against the headboard next to the statue that is your body, unmoving and heavy. You can feel him fiddling beside you, and soon, a soft melody fills your ears. It's enough to distract you temporarily from the raging storm in your head, focusing on the beats, and when Chans voice comes through, it's like you can feel a sense of comfort washing over you. Although it's not enough to completely take these feelings away, you're grateful for what he's doing.

"This song has been giving me trouble," Chan comments over the music, sighing heavily. "I can't figure out if I like the chorus or not, and it feels like it's missing something in general, but I don't know what. What do you think, baby?"

Unable to answer verbally, but still wanting him to know you're listening, you roll around so you're facing him. He chuckles as you bury your face under his thigh when you see he's sitting cross-legged, the pressure on your face oddly comforting. Chan places a hand on your back, his arm resting behind your head as he rubs small circles over your thick layer of blanket. Another song starts playing after a while, another soft one, too. You relax under his touch, feeling the vibrations through his body as he hums along to this one and makes occasional comments about changes he'd like to make.

Exhaustion hits you like a ton of bricks, your eyes fluttering shut as he keep playing different songs and telling you all about them. Both of you are aware that he shouldn't be playing so much unreleased music, but all Chan cares about in this moment is you, helping you, calming you, loving you. The company will never know anyway.

"Chan," You whisper, voice barely audible. His humming stops and he pauses the music, looking down at your limp form with furrowed brows. Moving your head slightly, you're able to look up at him on an angle, the cool air of the bedroom breaching your blanket cocoon.

"What is it, baby?" Chan moves some hair from your face, leaving this palm to rest on your cheek.

"Can you just-" You clear your throat, one hand coming up to play with the hem of his shorts at his knee to calm you more. "Just hold me, tell me you love me?"

Without words, he shifts down to your level and nods. Carefully, Chan guides you to face away from him and brings you close to his body, your back pressed tightly against his chest. His chin rests on your shoulder, now enveloped inside your blanket as he holds onto you tightly, scared that if he let's go, you'll fade away. The thought of you being in so much pain, whether physical or emotional, is something he can't bear; he can't sit on the sidelines and watch you wither away. Neither of you speak as you lie there for what feels like hours, although it must only be a few minutes. The feeling of Chan's breath on your neck is oddly comforting, your own hands finding his arm around your waist and holding onto him.

Something about the way Chan is holding you, comforting you without the pressure of being asked what's wrong, has you finally breaking down. It starts small, holding back a few tears, but a few escaping despite your efforts. Then Chan shifts closer, pressing soft lips on the skin behind your ear.

"I love you, you know that? So, so much," He whispers, inhaling the scent of your shampoo as he buries his face into your hair. "You're doing amazing, baby, and I mean that. I thought... I thought something might have been wrong, but I didn't know how to go about this. I'm sorry it got to this point, I should have asked. I want you to know you can always turn to me, okay?"

His words have the dam breaking and soon enough, the sobs ripping from your chest have you gasping and hiccupping like there's no tomorrow. You don't register the way Chan tries to soothe you as he pulls you around and into his chest. Subconsciously, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and roll his body onto yours, his head sitting in the crook of your neck. The weight feels nice, grounding, and you can finally hear Chan speaking again.

"Shhh, it's okay, you're okay." Chan whispers into the skin of your neck, one of his hands smoothing back your hair. "You're okay, I'm here, now breathe, alright? Breathe, baby."

He inhales deeply, and you do your best to mimic his movements. It's shaky, but you're doing it.

"Good job, you're doing great," Chan keeps his voice low as he speaks. "Keep breathing."

It gets to the point where you don't need to think about breathing anymore, your head throbbing slightly from the sudden outburst of emotion. Chan's body stays on yours, but he props himself up enough to look at you, his palm on your cheek and his thumb wiping away any remaining tears. You can barely look him in the eye.

All he does is stare at you with those pretty, dark eyes, but you realize there's a dampness under them matching yours. You open your mouth to question it, but he shakes his head, a soft smile on his face.

"I don't want you to be in pain alone ever again." His thumb continues to caress your cheek, even though the tears have dried. "I love you too much to let you go through that. Whatever's going on, tell me when you're ready, yeah? For now, just let me gush about my beautiful partner until they're feeling better."

You can't help the small laugh that escapes you as Chan surges up to pepper your face in kisses, saying praises in between each one. With every kiss, you can feel your face heating up until you try and cover it, but he just grabs your wrists and pulls your hands away. Eventually, he slows down, pressing one last kiss directly on your lips, and settles back onto you.

"Let's stay like this for a while," Chan suggests, knowing you need it, but so does he. "My favourite place is in your arms."

-

─── taglist : @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom

[mxltifxnd0m]

boyfriend headcanons ⟡ d. winchester

pairings: dean winchester x reader, dean winchester x gn! reader

word count: 1.2K

warnings: no use of 'y/n', fluff, one suggestive comment, a smidge of angst, reader is to be implied as a hunter, lowercase intended

a/n: SURPRISE! i made the dean version of bf headcanons. i stayed up until 3am making this bc my mind had ideas and i didn't want to lose them lol (ik im crazy 😁) also technically my first fic for dean lmao

i hope you all enjoy and please reblog and comment, it really helps out!!

𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

⟡ before dating you:

was super attracted to you before he even said a single word to you 

it was definitely lust at first sight (he wouldn't have minded sleeping with you) 

then you opened your mouth, and he was like, oh man, they're gonna be trouble, aren't they (as if he isn't trouble as well) 

you guys bickered a lot. like A LOT to the point where sam would have to remove himself from the room or get in between you two in order to stop the bickering 

the bickering got so bad that sam had to lock the two of you in the motel room sam and he were sharing and didn't let you guys out until the two of you could have a civil conversation 

you guys eventually stopped bickering out of malice after finding common ground between the two of you 

there was bickering but it read more of an old married couple bantering with one another 

then somehow, you guys became friends, and the physical attraction that dean had to you had morphed into something else and then he realized that he liked you 

he only confessed his feelings when you had a close call with a ghoul and blurted out his feelings to you when patching you up 

⟡ dating dean winchester:

you would describe dating dean as a roller coaster, but like all relationships, it has its ups and downs 

it was hard to have vulnerable conversations with dean without the infamous hunters' helper (alcohol lol)

you guys fought a lot at the beginning of your relationship bc you were fighting tooth and nail to get him to at least try and talk to you 

you soon realized that you would have to take a different approach to it and eventually let him come to you when he needed it 

it took a while, but once he put his walls down and trusted you, it seemed like a weight was lifted off of him when he finally told you a sliver of what was going on in his head 

⟡ soft dean!

now, this is where we get soft! dean 

we all know that dean is secretly a softy at heart, and you see it in the more quiet moments with him

he'll stare at you when the two of you are researching or when you're bustling around the kitchen, prepping and cooking lunch for the three of you 

and without fail, a cute blush will appear on his face, making his freckles pop against the red hue of his cheeks as you catch him staring at you  "what are you looking at?" you asked with a wide smile on your face.  "just you sweetheart." he tries to play off his flustered state with a wink, but you shook your head, knowing he was a bit embarrassed he got caught staring.

speaking about getting flustered, he loves teasing you and trying to get you flustered with fleeting touches, flirty gestures, and outright whispering the filthiest things that he wants to do you during the most inconvenient times, like if you're on a case or researching 

what he didn't take into account when he started it was that you would dish it right back at him

he loves it when you keep him on your toes 

⟡ pet names

OH another thing, PET NAMES  he loves using pet names for you 

we have the usual sweetheart, babe (not baby bc you know you come in a close third after sam and the impala) (he's tried arguing that's not true, but you knew it and understood you came after both of them).

he would def call you honey, beautiful, angel, and some variation of your name/nickname 

if he's in a playful mood, he'd probably call you borderline cringe pet names like pumpkin, sweet cheeks, pookie these are the ones you roll your eyes at since he knows you hate them

⟡ love langauges

now, his love languages, his main ones to give are acts of service, physical affection, and quality time, while the ones he likes to receive are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time 

⟡ physical touch

now, physical touch is a given for dean  he's a very tactical man and is a sucker for it 

when he can, he'll always be touching you, holding your hand or resting on your shoulder, thighs pressed together while sitting together eating in a diner booth, cuddling while watching a movie or always being in his arms while sleeping together, making out wherever whenever (his favorite place is obviously in the backseat of baby) 

but there are days when he needs physical affection from you, and you gladly give it to him, and he's a sucker for you when you play with his hair 

PDA, man is shameless with the PDA  he doesn't care he will kiss you no matter what and when he can  he loves you, and even if he's afraid to say it, he'll definitely show it to you 

⟡ acts of service

which brings me to acts of service  dean will do anything for you even if you didn't ask for him to do it  makes breakfast for you almost every morning, gives you his flannel when you're cold (he loves to see you in his clothes), replaces the lightbulb in your lamp when you mentioned it was flickering, taking care of you when you get drunk (he did this even before the two of you started to date and bickered the entire time), but the list goes on and on 

dean just likes to take care of the people he loves (it was practically ingrained into him at a young age) 

⟡ quality time

he also likes spending time with you it doesn't matter if the two of you aren't talking and working on your own tasks; he likes being in your presence (it soothes him)  with how crazy his life is, he loves the mundane things/tasks he does with you

sometimes, he'll go run errands with you, not bc he's bored and wants to avoid research (which is actually the main excuse at times) but, he likes the sense of normalcy it brings him when the two of you are together, and when you spend time with him 

⟡ words of affirmation

now, dean would never admit it to you (or to himself), but he needs to be reassured 

his mind is a dangerous place for him, and he can find himself drowning in his self-deprecating and self-destructive thoughts (these are also the days he needs you the most, and your touch is grounding to him) 

your words act as a lifeboat for him in the chaotic storm that is his mind and calms them down significantly 

he slowly works on his self-esteem and self-worth, but with your help, it's a little easier for him 

⟡ protective

this is a given, but he is SO protective of you 

dean is a fiercely protective person at his core and will do anything and everything to keep the people that he loves safe, and now that includes you 

some arguments were had when dean was being overbearing and flat out refusing to let you go on certain hunts with them bc it was too dangerous. you had to remind him that you were a hunter before you met him and will continue being one until the day you decide to try and retire or die 

he doesn't like it when you hunt alone, and so he always tries to come with you or send sam with you if he's indisposed for some reason 

he's only like this bc he can't lose one of the best things in his life 

[ellecdc]

Mother, im sitting here at 4am, eating mini easter eggs and ive had tge most brilliant idea!! (Inspired by @inkdrinkerworld 's fic)

Okay so, poly!moonwater and readers been having trouble sleeping due to tensions/problems with her pureblood family. As a result shes been taking more naps, but they arent restful. So reader were napping in Rems bed (the dungeons were too cold) but after a fitful 30 minutes she gets up groggy, sleep deprived and beyond frustrated. She stumbles her way down to the common room, pin point Sirius lounging across the couch and promptly throws herself down to cuddle with him and continue her nap. Everyone (minus Siri) is shook. Jamie even asks if she got the wrong person because Reggie was sitting over there (in which he got a one eyed death glare before she burrowed into Siris chest and passed out).

Now, what everybody else didnt know was that Siri had more or less adopted reader as his own (she remined him so much of Reggie, being her big brother was 2nd nature). And while Barty was her person, he was a little too crazy to be comforting in this situation ("y/n, i'll get rid of them for you. Its not hard to do so" "Barty, no."). And of course Siri nows how bad their kind of familys are so he'd been taking care of reader on the down low as an older brother would.

Bonus if Reggie then decides that looks warm and fuzzy and wants Siri cuddles too so he joins ( it took him so long to get to a point where he could let himself be vunerable enough to openly allow Siri to take care of him 😭)

aweeee poor reader. this ended up being way more serious than I thought it would be? like it's not funny at all, there's no humour (which feels odd to me, usually I can throw some jokes or banter in there) but plenty of hurt comfort???.......idk, I can't tell if this is any good, it feels very different from my usual pieces

poly!moonwater x fem!reader whose family sucks (but it's very Sirius-centric)

CW: mentions of insomnia, mentions of abusive families, making fun of only children (sorry), hurt/comfort

You were miserable to say the least; you couldn’t remember when the last time you had a restful sleep was, and nothing you did seemed to help.

The closer it got to the Winter Holidays, the more your mind seemed to spiral. Every time you began to relax, your heart pounded as if you’d accidentally leaned too far back in your chair, reminding you of your upcoming visit home. Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with images of angry faces and violent curses being shot at you.

The Slytherin dungeons were too cold, and every time you found your way into Regulus’ dorm, Barty insisted on butting in, and though you appreciated his support, you couldn’t handle his threats promises to burn down your home with your parents in it. 

Remus and Regulus both suggested you perhaps talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting some dreamless sleep or sleeping draught, but you were too embarrassed to admit to your two overprotective boyfriends that you’ve used them so frequently during your life for this very reason that they had lost all efficacy. 

It had gotten to the point that you managed to get the most sleep in the library bent over the table with your face on your book whilst Remus and Regulus did their work (and sometimes yours), and that honestly left you feeling more painfully tired than you had been before your nap.

So, you were nearly falling asleep at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall over your chicken and roast potatoes when Remus gently nudged you and suggested you go lie down for a bit and you wanted to weep into your potatoes which was only slightly less embarrassing than sleeping in them, causing him and Regulus to bring you up to Gryffindor tower.

You’d kicked them both out of the Marauders’ dorm room after some time – Remus for snoring and Regulus because the sound of him turning the pages of his book was distracting you. He promised to stop reading, but then he breathed too loudly and you started crying.

You were overtired, emotional, and running on fumes.

You’d counted puffskeins, you’d had a warm glass of milk, you’d taken off articles of clothing and reconfigured your outfit numerous times (which was currently Remus’ jumper and no pants), and you’d tried every position imaginable to no avail. 

You think you might have perhaps gotten five minutes of sleep before you woke up with a start, a barely repressed scream grating through your teeth.

Feeling disturbingly weepy and no less groggy from your horrid sleep, you pulled on a pair of your sweatpants and grabbed the throw blanket from the end Remus’ bed before trudging down the stairs to the common room.

“You should have seen the look on Filch’s face- oh! Hi Y/N!” James called as you made your way over to the three-seater and stood over the black-haired boy currently occupying it.

“Oh, Trouble.” He cooed sympathetically at you before kicking his feet out, laying back, and opening his arms for you to join him. You quickly climbed on top of him, and he tucked you in between the back of the sofa and his side, bending your knee so that your thigh rested on top of his, and pulled the blanket over the two of you.

You let out a shaky sigh and felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and onto Sirius’ chest.

“Uhm...” James said loudly, looking over to both Regulus and Remus cuddled in a large plush chair from his place on the loveseat with Lily like ‘are you seeing this right now?’. “I think you’ve got the wrong wizard there, L/N.” He said with a nervous laugh.

“No, she’s quite alright.” Sirius gritted back at him, looking far more severe than James thought the situation called for as he rubbed his hand consolingly up and down your arm. 

James looked to your boyfriends, his face clearly asking all the questions that his mouth wasn’t.

“He helps, sometimes.” Regulus admitted, not looking particularly happy that you chose his brother over him, but not nearly as murderous as James figured he might look if he’d found Lily snuggled up like that with some other bloke. And it appeared as though the look of heartbreak on Remus’ face was caused more by your current sorry state and less about your current cuddle partner.

“But...your brother?” James asked, still befuddled over this development. “Doesn’t she usually go to Junior for things like this?”

Sirius scoffed. “Junior’s solution to almost anything is fire or murder.”

“Or both.” You whimpered quietly, causing Sirius to tighten his arm around you and bring his other hand up to continue stroking your arm.

“Besides, Barty’s an only child.” Regulus said flippantly.

“What’s that got to do with it?” James asked, slightly offended at the insinuation that anything may be wrong with him on account of his only child-ness. 

Regulus’ irritable demeanor over Sirius usurping you was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk at getting under James’ skin.

“Let me ask you this, Potter: last summer when Lily returned your letters unopened and called you an arrogant toerag after saying she’d rather date the giant squid, whose arms did you cry into?”

“He didn’t cry.” Lily laughed at the same time as James answered “Sirius’” without any hesitation.

“What?” Lily asked, looking slightly horrified that she may have actually hurt James’ feelings.

“Oh, all the time, every time, actually.” James said readily. 

“He got snot on so many of my favourite band-tee’s, Red. As a matter of fact, I expect retribution.” Sirius commented.

“And why do you think you cried into Sirius’ arms?” Regulus continued.

“Well...because he’s my best mate.” James said simply.

“You may think that’s the reason, but you’re wrong. It’s because Sirius is an older brother.”

James scoffed at that. “Please, that has nothing to do with it!”

“Have you ever cried in Remus’ arms?”

“No, but-”

“Pettigrew’s?”

James grimaced but answered honestly. “No.”

“No. Because they’re not older brothers.” Regulus said definitively.

“That actually makes sense...” Lily mused aloud. 

“You say that like you’re surprised, Evans. I know you’re not used to good idea’s coming out of men’s mouths, but I do assure you it happens more frequently than you might imagine.” Regulus taunted, earning him a pillow being hurled at his head. 

Much to James’ chagrin, his seeker reflexes caught the pillow before it made impact with his face. 

“Tosser.” James grumbled. 

“Would you guys shut up.” Sirius whispered, causing everyone to look over at you. 

Regulus couldn’t even find it in him to be miffed when he saw you sleeping what looked to be quite peacefully in Sirius’ arms. Your eyes were slightly swollen from your tears, and he could see the tracks they had left on your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose, but you looked so content. 

“So... all big brothers know how to do that?” James asked incredulously.

“I doubt it.” Sirius commented quietly.

“Only ones who know what it’s like to live in a Pureblood hellscape and needed to share his bed with his younger brother who was too scared to sleep on his own for years.” Regulus added quietly, staring unseeingly towards you and Sirius. Remus pulled Regulus tighter into his side and began rubbing his arm consolingly.

Suddenly, things started to make a little more sense to James. 

“I’ll write to mum.” James stated, causing both brothers, Lily, and Remus to look at him bemusedly.

“About what?” Remus asked finally.

“Y/N staying with us.” James said simply.

Regulus opened his mouth ready to argue; to argue that James didn’t have to and that he already took in both Sirius and Regulus. James didn’t owe Regulus anything. 

But Sirius spoke first.

“She should be with her big brother, Reggie.” Sirius said, shooting him an encouraging smile and wink.

And seeing how your breathing had fallen even with your mouth slightly ajar as you clutched to the fabric of Sirius’ jumper like it was a lifeline, who was Regulus to argue?

[mikgreo]

denji’s prized possession!!

nsfw, minors dni.

a/n: thinking about how cute and submissive denji would be!! always ready to get a taste of his prized possession. this man will get on his knees anywhere, everywhere, always, no matter what.🧡

warning: exploiting, cunnilingus, dry humping, fingering, denji cums on your stomach and licks it off, also rubs his cum on your pussy, panty stealing.

“babyyy..~” denji whispered into your ear.

“no, go to bed denji.” you said trying to free yourself from his hold.

you two were at his apartment. you were too tired to walk back home, afterall the mission you both got sent over too had taken almost the whole day. you decided to stay with denji, praying all he would do was cuddle and go to bed.

“pleasee. can’t wait til mornin’ pretty.” he was whining in your ear. so annoying, but cute. you thought.

denji had been begging you for almost 20 minutes to let him eat you out. you, of course being too tired, kept denying his request. you didnt wanna go through the trouble of getting up and taking your clothes off and all of that.

“denji, im too tired baby. i cant even get up im so sore. i promise tomorrow, when i can actually get up.” you said, attempting to turn around so you wouldn’t have to little spoon anymore.

“so if i did it while you were asleep you wouldn’t mind?” denji said while kissing your shoulder.

“mmm nope. its better than doing all the work, i would be fine with it.” you laughed jokingly, knowing he would do it, but it never crossed your mind he would, right now, today, tonight.

denji didnt say anymore, so you took it as an invitation to let your eyes rest and get some long, well deserved, sleep.

denji’s pov!

sooo hungry. i cant wait til tomorrow mornin’.

he freed his hold on you waist and slid down the bed, onto the ground, pulling you by your legs to get closer, earning a grunt from you.

he didnt think much of this. he knew you were a deep sleeper, so he had no fear moving you as he pleased.

he tilted your body to the right and raised your legs up, spreading just enough.

he stopped.

would you be okay with this? is this rape? surely not. i hope not, itll be ok. something about this excited him, he knew you would never be really upset with him. it turned him on, seeing you when your the most vulnerable, taking advantage of your body.

he smiled to himself knowing everything was probably okay.

he pulled down your shorts. leaving your underwear on.

he stuffed his face in your cunt, deeply inhaling your smell. he licked your clit through the fabric.

he unconsciously began to rub against the foundation of the mattress. he tried to find the position where he could get the most friction in his sweatpants.

denji grabbed your panties and pulled them up, watching them go up your almost soaked cunt, sinking into the lips of your pussy.

he buried his face once again in your pussy, lapping up all your juices eating you like a hungry dog.

he pulled your panties off, getting a better view of your pussy, sinking in a finger inside your tight hole.

he curved his finger up and down inside taking his time feeling around and exploring your gummy walls, he pulled out and licked it off clean. moaning at the taste.

he pushed his finger back in while flicking his tongue on your clit, occasionally sucking it and rubbing it with his free hand.

at this point denji’s face was a mess covered in your juices. he was a moaning mess, his pants earning a wet spot the more the rubbed against the base of the bed, he had came atleast twice.

he stuck his hand down his pants wetting his fingers with his own slick, taking it up and spreading it inside your pussy, as lube. but also because he found it hot to taste himself on your pretty pussy <3

denji lost track of time, your body had came around 3 times now, he knew if he kept going your body would eventually squirt “or somethin’ ” (his words) and you would wake up.

he found it exciting not wanting to be caught. it turned him on.

he decided to finish himself off by hovering over you relieving himself all over your tummy.

as he finished getting every last drop out his red puffy tip, he licked it off your stomach, licking it clean.

he picked up your shorts and put them back on, but leaving your panties bunched up inside his pockets.

he layed back down in the same position he was in about an hour ago, and took your panties out his pocket.

he spun them around and the air before sniffing them again.

he put them infront of you.

“see that y/n? i wonder who these belong to ♡” he giggled, “they’re my prized possession, along with your pretty soaking pink pussy.”

im soooo sorry if this was something weird to write!!:(

ive personally imagined myself in this scenario amd would fimd it super hot if my partner did this, but thats me.

[chlorinecake]

heyyy, could I ask for a soft fic like jay your fiancé wakes up to you squirming so much and whimpering cause of DAMN CRAMPSS na the doesn't know about your period till it leaks on your guys's bedd. then he tries to take care of it when you're asleep and when you wake up you get all embarrassed (lmao that's how I feel) but he insists on helping you and thought out the day he learns that you his fiancé has bad cramps, lower back pain, nausea, gets cold, often hot flashes and gets dizzy a lot basically bed ridden, can I be

🪻anon thanksskskksks

✿ — let me take care of you | p.js

pairing. 𓏌 fiancé jay x fem. reader 𓏌 contains. just jay being a super affectionate and caring fiancé, mentions of blood, some cuddling, kisses, pure fluff 𓏌 word count. 0.7k 🖱 ⑅ path to the bookshelf ◍

"mmm," you whined in your sleep, tossing and turning to the point that you woke up your fiancé who was sleeping next to you.

he cradled you from behind, hands covering your stomach as your hands squeezed over his.

"what's wrong baby," he pouted, warm face nuzzling in the crook of your shoulder as he soothed you.

still stuck in your slumber, all you did was whine in response, curling over his hands as the pain in your abdomen increase with a sharpness.

"____?" he whispered groggily, worried that you might be having a nightmare.

the softness of his voice somehow reeled you from your sleep, your eyes creaking open like an old door.

"can you just hold me like this for a little longer... please?"

"of course, baby, im right here..." he smiled, kissing your sweaty temple while his soothing hand caressed your figure.

jay couldn't shake how troubled you seemed in this moment, so he tried his best to stay still until you fell back to sleep instead of questioning what was really going on with you.

letting a few drowsy moments pass, he finally heard the sound of your purr-like breaths against the pillow, your body falling fast to sleep as your body grew warmer.

"ohh, you're burning up,” jay exclaimed, not sure if you could hear him as he said, “let me get you a cold towel."

he shimmied from behind you, pulling the covers back so the cool air from the ceiling fan could hit you.

that's when he saw a splotchy patch of scarlet-red blood right beneath where your hips were resting in the mattress, a bit of it having smeared from the sheets onto your legs.

with this, jay immediately knew what the source of your restless pain was now.

he sighed in relief, thankful that it had nothing to do with a virus, but everything to do with your body naturally functioning, just as it should.

as your fiancé, jay understood that it was his duty to help you when he could, and the last thing he wanted was for you to wake up and have to deal with this mess yourself.

he went to the bathroom to warm up a towel with soapy water, wiping at the blood on your legs.

suddenly, your skin sprouted with goosebumps.

"poor baby... now you're cold, too?”

tossing the blood-stained towel which was meant to land at the edge of your shared bed, it accidentally collided with a bottle of soap in the dresser, the heavy container falling to the ground with a loud thud.

the sound was loud enough to wake you back up again.

“j-jay, what’re you doing,” you asked with weak eyes, feeling his large hand smooth out the bumps on your cold skin.

“you got your period last night, ____,” he said with a smile, but you only groaned at his words, turning to see the blood only to crumble inside, "easy now, baby."

"no jay, get away from me, I don't wanna get you dirty," you protested, turning over to move his hands just to end up feeling dizzy.

and nauseous.

"sweetheart, there's nothing dirty about this, i'm here to help you," he replied, your flushed face making his heart swell.

"but I need to clean this up myself- OH gosh, there's even more blood over here," you whined dramatically, groaning out loud before burying your face in your hands.

"don't worry about it, love. you can stay here while I run you a bath, okay?" jay offered kindly, not been able to hold back the chuckle in his throat thanks to your exaggerated reaction right now.

"no, no, I got it-"

"____, it'll give me time to get the sheets washed while you soak in the tub," he interrupted your rambling softly before kissing you. "I'll be back with your clothes and a towel once you get out..."

you let out a submissive sigh, not being able to fight against him anymore after he just kissed you...

besides, he really was only trying to help you, despite how embarrassed it made you feel.

"okay then," you nodded, crawling out of the bed with his hand in yours, both your engagement bands sliding over each other. "oh, and jay...?"

"mhm?"

"can you bring me a pad, please?... one of the bigger ones from the shelf downstairs."

he smiled at how cute you were in this moment, already feeling more comfortable with him being involved in this candid part of your life.

"gotchya, princess," he said with a smirk, taking the sheets and pillowcases off of the bed before going you in the restroom where he would soon run your warm and bubbly soak.

𓏌 Thank you all so much for reading this fic, and apologies to the original anon for me taking so long to get to this ;-;

𓏌 — tags: @squoxle @nikisvanillaccola @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy @wonbinisbabygurl @addictedtohobi @watamotee33 @bachuya

[wileys-russo]

late night visits II k.mccabe x reader

i think this is the longest fic i've written so far but as she deserves, katie is so lover girl coded and no one can convince me otherwise

late night visits II k.mccabe x reader 7.3K words

"katie!" the irishwoman glanced up with a squint, standing taller to try and see over the crowd of drunken bodies packing the bar. finally she spotted her friends jammed into a booth toward the back and pushed her way through toward them.

"jesus is there like a two for one special on drinks tonight or what?" katie huffed as she took the vacant seat beside leah, looking around at the hordes of patrons around them. the little restaurant and bar was hardly unknown, however it rarely got this busy.

"guess our little secret isn't so secret anymore." jen chuckled, sliding katie a rum and coke she'd ordered her earlier as the irishwoman sent her a grateful smile before necking it. "slow down katie! it's not a race." beth laughed with a shake of her head as the irishwoman grinned.

"almost every bar in manchester was like this it took like a half an hour to even be served!" alessia piped up, seated beside leah and across from jen. the small group of girls deciding at training earlier today they'd go out for a drink tonight since there wasn't a match this weekend.

the invitation had been extended to the whole team but a lot had plans to go and see partners or family in the short few days break.

"oh we don't have that issue here, do we katie?" jen teased with a smirk as the girl in question rolled her eyes. "i don't even know if she's workin jen, lay off!" she defended. :please like you haven't memorised her schedule by now." leah joined in with a chuckle.

"i feel like im missing some context here?" alessia piped up with a confused frown, not quite following along with the light hearted teasing.

"katies sleeping with one of the bar tenders." beth eagerly filled the younger blonde in as viv smacked her on the shoulder with a look of disapproval. "are you?" alessias curious gaze turned to katie who groaned.

"sometimes. it doesn't matter anyway its none of any of your businesses!" the brunette warned sternly, sending a particularly harsh look toward laura who couldn't seem to stop herself from laughing at the situation.

"wonderful. you can get the next round then!" leah grinned and gave her a shove almost sending the girl flying onto her ass out of the booth as katie shot leah a glare but nonetheless stood to her feet.

"russo you're coming with me, i need extra hands and you're the least annoying one present tonight." katie gestured toward the girl who scrambled quickly over leah.

"thank you…i think?" alessia frowned as katie slung an arm over her shoulder, tugging her away from the group who resumed their chatter. "so is she here?" the blonde asked looking around eagerly as they finally got to the bar.

"that one." katie gave in with a sigh, nudging alessia and pointing you out where you were busy making cocktails at the other end of the bar. "she's gorgeous." alessia stated with a nod of approval as katie couldn't help but chuckle, small talk made between the two as they waited for someone to come take their order.

someone who katie secretly hoped was you.

meanwhile you joked around around with a few regulars, making sure to maintain the bright smile on your face despite how much harder you were needing to work tonight, the growing frustration inside you that as per usual your boss had understaffed for a busy night to save money.

"well well, i thought i heard security talking about trouble brewing." you greeted the familiar irishwoman with a grin as you wiped your damp hands on your apron, katies own face curling into a smug smile as she shamelessly checked you out.

admittedly the brunette was somewhat of a weak spot for you, there was just something about her cheeky grin which oozed confidence, paired with that strong accent and effortless charm she made your knees buckle.

you wound up a messy of sweaty limbs tangled in one another's bedsheets far more often than you'd care to admit, reaching out to one another at all sorts of hours with all sorts of excuses for your late night visits.

it should have been a seemingly easy relationship, you used one another for whatever was needed without really holding any responsibilities for how the other felt.

the first time you'd slept together was a few months ago and you'd both agreed it was just a one time thing. merely a drunken fling as you and katie had shared a few drinks once you'd clocked off for the night, which inevitably ended in your sweaty bodies pressed up together in her bed a couple of hours later.

yet months later and here she still was, looking you up and down with a hungry glint in her eyes probably imagining the lustful activities she hoped would be happening later on.

there was just one small problem to all of this, which was that you secretly wanted more. you wanted her in a way where it didn't feel transactional, where you weren't just a late night thought but rather could be someone meaningful to her.

but you knew that wasn't on the cards for katie and so you'd convinced yourself into a firm state of delusion where it didn't hurt to continue on like nothing had changed and you didn't secretly hope for more.

your friends had begged you end it, seeing how much it knocked your normally confident persona down, playing on your self esteem and picking at insecurities you didn't even know were there as you couldn't help but wonder why she only wanted to keep it casual if it was such a seemingly common occurence.

you couldn't quite say when things had started to shift,. as at first you were more than satisfied with just being friends with benefits, barely meeting the friends part since you hardly knew anything about one another.

maybe that's what had made it easier in the early stages, that lack of knowledge and impersonal connection. you didn't know anything about football nor did you care to change that, so of course to you she was just a girl, not some big celebrity superstar athlete.

thats not to say she didn't show her athletic prowess in other ways, the irishwoman had the best stamina you'd ever seen and could go for hours without even needing a water break.

and when the relationship was only transactional, impersonal and occasional, you were fine with it.

but lately, lately things had been different. and it had all started a couple of weeks ago.

once the two of you had finished for the night, katie had stuck around. she begun to ask questions, about you, your work, your family, and to your shock seemed actually interested in the answers.

she hadn't stayed the night, only for a couple of hours and a cup of tea but it was out of the ordinary behavior from your usual arrangement. though you'd tried not to dwell on it too much, knowing that overthinking it was dangerous.

but then it had happened again the next time, and again the time after that. katie once more asking you question after question, and if she wasn't doing that she was telling you the more intimate details of her life and her family, or debriefing about a particularly hard training session or her concerns for an upcoming match.

without even realising it she'd kicked down your walls and she'd done the worst possible thing in a friends with benefits situation, she'd begun to accidentally indulge you into what it could be like if the two of you were more.

~

"we're completely out of bacardi and we're running low on jager." nathan, one of your coworkers, popped up beside you as you bent down to grab a cider for a customer from the fridges under the bar.

now counting down until the end of your shift, you were endlessly grateful you weren't on close tonight. though things had begun to die down, the more rowdier of patrons beginning to be moved on by security, you knew there would be some that lingered long into the night.

"there's more downstairs, i'll go stock up before i finish so you don't need to worry about it. can you handle this for awhile?" you offered, the boy sighing in relief and nodding with an appreciative smile.

you untied your apron and tossed it under the counter, jumping over the small gate at the end of the bar and ducking around the corner where only staff were allowed.

busying yourself quickly checking your phone you hadn't noticed someone follow, someone whose eyes had been trained to you most of the night, who'd been relentlessly teased by her friends for exactly that.

"scuse me but has anyone ever told you your bum looks quite peachy in those shorts?" your eyes flickered up from your screen as the brunette grinned cheekily, taking a few steps toward you as you shook your head and slipped your phone into your pocket.

"just drunken creeps who i've had kicked out right afterwards." you smiled, katies hands finding their way to your hips as she gently pressed you into the wall, blue eyes twinkling mischievously.

"send them my way next time, i'll be sure to teach em some manners about how to treat a pretty girl." katies smile widened as her eyes flickered down toward your lips.

"i'm still on the clock here mccabe." you chuckled, pushing her off gently as you knew what would happen next if you didn't. "well then when do you get off?" she asked, pressing her body back into yours as you shook your head.

"in an hour." you revealed watching her lips curl into a smirk. "then i'll meet you out back by your car." the older girl spoke suggestively, face so close to yours you could feel the warm tickle of her breath against your lips but then just like that she was gone, striding off back into the public area seeking out her friends.

with a sigh and a shake of your head you straightened up, banishing the lust which clouded your mind and hurrying off downstairs to the dry store.

~

of course katie wound up in your bed that night, a chorus of moans of plesure and lips smacking together in sloppy kisses, crisp linen gripped in white knuckled fists with sweaty limbs tangled.

this was then once again followed by a cup of tea and soft conversations about your childhood pets, quite the contrast from your previous activites.

then things only became stranger that next morning.

sundays were always your day off so you'd never have alarms set, allowing your body to wake you up whenever it was ready, purposefully never setting up any plans or commitments you needed to arise early for.

so when your eyes fluttered open around eleven in the morning, your room still quite dark due to an overcast and cloudy day, nothing seemed out of sorts.

it wasn't until you shifted tiredly that you felt someone move beside you. your body was instantly jolted awake, and that's when you became aware of the warm arm draped lazily over your naked midsection, an arm that was not yours.

with a sharp intake of breath you slowly turned your head to the side, seeing a mop of brunette hair sprawled across the pillows, duvet only partially covering her half naked form, tanned back moving up and down as she slept soundly with her face smushed into the mattress, and your eyes widened at the sudden realisation that katie had slept over.

she never slept over, even spending a few hours chatting your ear off with a cup of tea she'd never stayed afterwards. you weren't sure if she could hear but your hate rate began to thunder in your ears, thumping like horses hooves against a track as your cheeks flushed scarlet red.

"i can feel your eyes burning a hole into the side of my head ya know." the irishwoman finally spoke, accent somehow thicker in her half awake state as she gently pushed herself up and flopped onto her side with a tired sigh.

your skin burned where her arm had been as she retracted it, running a hand through her hair and flicking it to one side of her head, blinking tiredly with a stretch as your eyes did their best not to fall directly down to her bare chest.

"you can look you know, certainly did last night." she grinned, immediately noticing your internal struggle as her own blue eyes shamelessly roamed your naked body with a hungry glint before you tucked yourself more into the duvet making her chuckle.

"you stayed over." was all you could manage to spit out, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "with observations like that you could give up bar tending for some detective work." katie smiled teasingly as you rolled over and grabbed your top off the floor.

slipping it over your head to somewhat cover up you tossed katie's at hers, the material smacking her in the face as you sat up, snatching your underwear off the floor and wiggling quickly into it.

"you've never stayed over." you made your point a little firmer, slipping out of the bed as katie now sat up, tugging her own shirt on.

"well we were talking in bed and i guess we both fell asleep." the irishwoman shrugged casually, grabbing her suit pants off the floor and slipping into them, buttoning them as she stood. you only hummed not really believing her as the action was so out of character, but you were too tired to argue as you tied your hair up into a messy bun.

"you should come to the game today, there's still tickets." katie spoke up again, sat on the end of the bed as she laced up her shoes. you choking on your own spit at the shock from her statement, the girl glancing over her shoulder with an amused smile before turning back round, not mentioning anything more than that.

you walked her to the front door wordlessly, cogs going into overdrive in your mind, almost in shock katie couldn't hear how loud your overthinking was right now.

"catch you later maybe kid." katie winked charmingly, pressing a kiss to your cheek and stepping out the front door. striding down your driveway without a single look back she slipped into an uber as you touched your cheek and slowly closed your front door.

oh you were down bad, and maybe it was time you started dealing with it.

~

and that exact thought was how you found yourself huddled among a small group of your friends, rain drizzling down on your head and body tucked into itself trying to utilise your body heat to warm up.

your friend mathew was doing his very best to keep you interested, explaining every little rule and tactic that he could as the match dragged on, desperate to try and up your enthusiasm of what was apparently a fantastic game being played.

the poor boy raised a die hard arsenal fan was over the moon when you'd loosely mentioned attending as the two of you caught up for brunch. within five minutes he'd somehow conjured you up a ticket, forced you into a jersey, talked your ear off the entire car ride and here you were.

you'd chosen not to mention that the girl you were so hung up who was in your bed at least twice a week nowadays was the katie mccabe, you'd not told any of your friends her actual name only referring to her as 'bar girl', and so the only ones who could have put two and two together were maybe your coworkers.

though all of you were generally so run off your feet most nights they hardly batted an eyelid into your personal life, too focused on making it home to their own beds rather than being hung up on who was sneaking into yours.

"oh they're doing a lap! come on i wanna get my shirt signed by viv if i can she's one of the only ones im missing." mathew eagerly grabbed your hand, practically yanking you out of your chair and away from the rest of your friends who you hastily waved goodbye to.

"you know if i just gave you my jersey one time-" "no matty, the answer will always be a no." you chuckled, despite not knowing of your late night visitors identity the boy did know the arsenal girls frequented your workplace, and he was forever pestering you about having them sign something

you'd held firm with a no, and would continue to.

one of the main reasons the girls continued to come back was that you all made sure to treat them like actual people, and despite being more than household names your regulars tended to leave them be most of the time as well, most of the time.

you hung by yourself away from the main crowd eagerly chatting to the players, leaning against the barrier and busying yourself organizing to cover a few vacant shifts next week.

trying to save to upgrade your car you would take any extra money you could get at the moment, now only a few thousand away from your goal.

"want me to sign that for ya?" your head lifted at the familiar accent, meeting her mischievous blue eyes as she gave you an alluringly cheeky smile.

"no thanks i'm waiting for a starter, not a bench warmer." you quipped back, slipping your phone into your pocket as katie feigned offence.

"how about a goal scorer then?" the brunette moved a little closer, leaning on the barrier with her hands as your eyes drifted down to her well toned arms before flickering back upwards, which didn't go unnoticed by the irishwoman.

"oh did you score? didn't see." you brushed it off with a shrug, katie opening her mouth to speak but falling silent as mathew appeared back by your side, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

at the sight katies stomach flipped a little and her jaw clenched, she watched the boys mouth move, words clearly directed toward her as she only hummed and sent him a polite smile, barely listening.

"well well well, look who it is. our favourite bartender!" the brunette snapped back out of it as jen appeared by her side with a smirk, closely followed by beth. "i thought you weren't a football fan." beth teased, and katie watched as you gestured to the boy beside you, blaming him for your attendance.

you picked up on katies lack of joining into the conversation, trying to catch her attention again but eventually having to excuse yourself and mathew as you had dinner plans. "oo a hot date is it?" beth teased, shooting katie a subtle side eye, the blonde also picking up on her lack of effort to join in.

"every sunday! she loves me for my roast dinners." mathew grinned, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek as you gagged sarcastically and pushed his face away.

"see you round then." you smiled, directing the comment more toward katie than anyone else, frowning a little as she blanked you and walked off without so much as a glance your way.

~

you didn't see or hear from katie for the next few days, which wasn't all that abnormal seeing as since the two of you were just casually sleeping around you hardly had a regular routine of meet ups.

however when you did finally see her again it wasn't under circumstances you expected.

you were covering the closing shift for nathan tonight as it was his 30th birthday. the seemingly quiet Wednesday not one of your normal rostered days it seemed to be a running joke among the regulars present.

yet no matter how many times you heard the same one liner you still faked a laugh and a grin, watching the tip jar fill up gradually as you did so with a satisfied smile.

given it wasn't all that busy you found yourself people watching in the odd pockets of free time which fell your way, a habit which was easily one of your favorite perks of the job. yourself and your coworkers often busied yourself dreaming up extravagant imaginary lives for the drunken strangers occupying the bar.

but that was how you spotted her, tucked away in a table toward the back and not by herself, an unfamilar blonde sat beside her and the two seemed quite cosy. you watched with a frown as katie mucked about with the blonde, kissing her on the cheek as the girl shoved her away with a grin.

you couldn't but feel as though you'd been punched in the stomach as you wrenched your eyes away, plastering a fake smile on your face and hurrying off to serve a patron.

thankfully you managed to avoid interacting with the irishwoman for the most part, katie too busy entertaining her date as the blonde came up a few times to grab them both drinks, and by some miracle she'd been served by someone else each time.

though of course that luck didn't last.

as the bar began to empty you busied yourself starting to pack down and clean glasses. but you watched on hopelessly as katie made her way over and with your coworker for the night already occupied with other patrons you knew you'd have no way of avoiding her.

"hey." was all the brunette said with a smile that you returned, handing her a rum and a coke like she always ordered and waiting for if she wanted anything else. "oh nah just a water for me i'm drivin, and a glass of house red please." you nodded and wordlessly prepared her drinks.

"just 8.40." you placed the eftpos machine up on the counter as katie tapped her card and hearing the beep you turned back to what you were doing. "hey, can i see you later?" you glanced up realizing she hadn't left yet, lingering at the counter with her drinks in hand and a hopeful look in her eyes.

"i'm on close tonight." you shook your head and katie frowned, unsure why you seemed so upset with her. "i just wanted to-" the brunette started but you cut her off with a scoff, in disbelief she was really trying to come onto you while out with another woman.

casual or not you had higher standards for yourself than that, and maybe your friends were right and it was time you started to treat yourself with a little more kindness.

"i'm working katie, just leave me alone." and with that you ducked out back before the irishwoman could even say another word, stunned at the somewhat aggressive tone which still lingered in the air after your abrupt exit.

~

since the frosty encounter katie had tried to call and message you but with no response and left on read she'd taken the hint and had backed off.

she'd still been around with her team mates over the weekend for dinner in the restaurant but didn't dare come to order a drink at the bar since you were on shift.

most of the girls gave up questioning her about what had happened, noticing that something had shifted between the two of you, and with a stern warning from the irishwoman hadn't dared to ask you about it either.

but ever persistent and hating to see the obvious discontent hidden behind her friends eyes that the others missed, leah continued to press her for an answer.

"oh for fuck sakes cause she's got a boyfriend leah!" katie eventually snapped and gave in as the blonde had once more cornered her for an interrogation. "what! are you sure? since when?" leah frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall.

"i dunno! i met him at that game she came to, he's not even a good lookin fella." katie huffed with a roll of her eyes, sitting down at her locker and beginning to take off her boots. "i thought that she seemed quite into you?" leah sat down beside her as katie sighed deeply.

"i don't know i thought she was. we'd been talking a lot, getting to know each other better, it was starting to feel like more but i guess not. ever since i met him she's been blankin me so i guess whatever it was with us is over now." katie shrugged it off, not wanting to dwell on the subject as she brushed leah off to go for a shower.

"and please don't tell anyone leah!"

and leah tried not to, she really did. but when beth continued to pester katie and she could see the annoyance building, she figured she would be doing the girl a favour by filling the girl in.

"wait that was her boyfriend? i was only joking about the date thing." beth frowned, both girls having filled the other in over a coffee. "did they seem like they were? katie said she's ghosted her ever since so i guess it makes sense?" leahs eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

little did they both know just how wrong they were.

~

"oh! thats him, thats the boyfriend." beths eyes widened as she gripped leahs bicep, yanking her around to look where she pointed, mathew hanging around chatting to a few of their team mates.

"wait him? i've met that guy a bunch times he's here almost every match." leah realised, beth tightening her grip on her and marching the two of them in the boys direction.

"no personal bartender with you today then?" beth plastered a smile on her face, not wanting to go in with all guns blazing and scare the poor guy off. "oh her? please it took me almost twenty two years to get that girl to come to one game!" the boy laughed and re-introduced himself at beths subtle request.

"twenty two years?" leah frowned a little at the timeline, trying to piece it together. "yeah we go way back, grew up together since we were kids. pretty sure our parents were convinced we were gonna get married someday!" he joked with a grin, beth and leah exchanging a look.

"were?"

"well yeah, when they realised i liked boys and she liked girls that put a bit of a pin in their plans." mathew chuckled, leahs face paling as beth bit her lip to hide a smile at their obvious blunder. "so you two aren't..." beth gestured as the boys eyes widened and he laughed harder.

"please! god no. why, are one of you interested?" he winked, well aware of their ongoing presence at your workplace.

"but no she's very much so single. i've begged her to let me get her back into the dating scene but she's hopelessly hung up on some girl she's been sleeping with for months now-" the boy rolled his eyes, and had you been present you'd have smacked the living daylights out of him for oversharing, his favorite habit.

"-but this girl only wants something casual where as she wants more. so i've tried to get her to cut it off but she's convinced it doesn't hurt to keep it going, which i know her like the back of my hand and believe me, it's hurting her." mathew sighed with a shake of his head, eyes widening when he realized who he was actually talking to.

"but i am very very certain that she would kill me for sharing all of that so please if you see her at the bar don't mention it. i'd quite like to live to see next week i have tickets to next weekends match." the boy joked, glancing over his shoulder as a few of his friends called out for him.

"well fantastic game girls it was lovely speaking to you both. thank you for your time and i am very sorry for filling it with my own voice." he winced apologetically, flashing them a dazzling smile before hurrying off after his friends.

"find katie?" "find katie."

~

you looked over your shoulder in surprise as there was a knock at your door, a quick tap of your phone screen showing it was nearly half seven at night, hardly a time for a door to door salesmen to be coming round, and most of your friends knew where your spare key was and never hesitated to let themselves in.

pausing the episode of love island you were catching up on as you cooked, you tucked your phone into the pocket of your hoodie and padded over to the door, cautiously opening it as another knock sounded.

"we need to talk."

you stepped back as katie shot past you, a blur of red having just come from a video study debrief for the teams upcoming match against chelsea.

she knew you didn't work sundays so took a shot in the dark that you'd be home, grateful it paid off as you closed your door. "please, come in!" you scoffed at her abruptness, following after her into the kitchen.

"i'm not sleeping with you." you started firmly, crossing your arms over your chest as katie now scoffed, taking a seat at the kitchen bench. "when i said we needed to talk, i meant with our mouths and not with our tongues." the irishwoman quipped back causing a slight blush to creep over your cheeks.

"what's there to talk about katie?" you withheld a groan at the intrusion, ignoring her patting the seat beside her for you to sit down as if she was in her own home, instead you chose to stay standing a few feet away from her.

"why you're actin funny with me." the brunette folded her arms sternly and raised an eyebrow, now thanks to her faithful blonde friends she knew you didn't have a boyfriend she wanted answers as to why you'd been ignoring her.

"i've just been busy." you lied, turning your back to her and busying yourself resuming the chopping and prepping for your dinner, hoping with some minimal responses the brunette would grow tired and hopefully leave.

"bullshit, ya never ignore me entirely." katie held firm, and you could feel her eyes bore into the back of your head like lasers. "why do you even care? its not like we're dating or you can't get your needs met elsewhere." you added the last part a little bitterly, a pause of silence falling between the two of you.

"and what's that supposed to mean then?" katie scoffed, raising an eyebrow at the obvious change of tone. "you know what it means i'm not spelling it out for you." you shook your head, the only sound being your knife hitting the board as you chopped up the peppers.

"jesus would you stop that and actually talk to me?" katie snapped, standing to her feet with a frustrated huff. "okay. you want to do this? fine, lets do this." you also snapped, dropping the knife and spinning around to face the older girl.

"i thought that whatever we were doing was completely casual, a friends with benefits situation and i was fine with that." you started, crossing your arms over your chest. "but then you made it complicated." you accused, pointing at her as she made a face of both confusion and offence.

"i made it complicated? till yesterday i thought ya had a boyfriend you were using me to cheat on with!" katie defended making you now pull a face. "what on earth gave you that impression?" you asked, face scrunched up in both disgust and confusion at the mere thought.

"your boy mathew or whatever his name was!" katie rolled her eyes and you paused for a minute before letting out a loud sarcastic bark of laughter. "my best friend? jesus no he's not my boyfriend katie i'm a lesbian for god sakes!" you corrected now with a roll of your own eyes.

"and like you're one to talk about loyalty anyway. asking me to 'hang out' right after you're on a date with another girl and at my job of all places, you don't want to be used to cheat with? i don't like being a backup option when your first one isn't interested in rounding the bases with you." you spat, katie scoffing at the accusation.

"a date? when the hell did i go on a date? you're deluded!" she waved you off with a shake of her head, accent only getting thicker the more upset she became, still not understanding why everything had changed.

"don't you gaslight me! the blonde you took to dinner the other night, you two certainly seemed cosy." your nostrils flared angrily as you held your ground, not allowing what you'd seen to be dismissed. "the blonde what-" katie grimaced trying to think back, but then it clicked.

and she did quite possibly the worst thing she could have within that moment, grabbing her stomach and doubling over in laughter, which you assumed was at you.

"okay you know what? this conversation is over. get the hell out!" you ordered angrily, clearing the distance between the two of you in a few steps and shoving at her as the brunette barely stumbled backwards, still trying to catch her breath.

"you're quite gorgeous when you're jealous ya know." the irishwoman smirked cockily and your cheeks flushed red at the sudden shift in tone. "i repeat, get. out." you recovered quickly, pointing toward the front door as katies smirk only widened, advancing slowly toward you.

"katie-" you started to warn, backing up until you smacked into the counter, the brunette pressing her body against yours, hands flushed flat on the marble counter as she smiled smugly down at you. "say that again then, tell me to leave and i will."

you tried to tell her to get out, you really did, but as she lent down and brought her face closer to yours you were consumed by the alluringly comforting smell of her perfume, knees wobbly at her pearly white smile and the cheeky twinkle of her blue eyes.

but as your stomach fluttered and your heart leapt into your throat, you remembered that to her this was all just a game, it would never be anything more than this and for your own peace and protection, you couldn't give in.

"get out, please." you dropped your gaze right before her lips could touch softly to your own, gently pushing her off and quickly rounding the counter, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as you could.

"that wasn't a date ya know." you refused to turn around at her words, instead grabbing your knife again and resuming the chopping of your vegetables. "hey would you stop that, please." you hadn't heard her make your way over to you, her hand grabbing yours as you dropped the knife with a sigh.

"five minutes. just give me that to hear me out and then if you still want me to go i'm gone and ya won't hear from me again." she requested softly, you hesitated but after a quick glance at her pleading face you gave in with a sigh.

keeping a firm grip on your hand the irishwoman lead you over to the sofa, gently sitting you down before she took her own seat at the opposite end, purposefully giving you some space.

"that wasn't a date. that blonde lass you saw me with last week was one of my sisters, she came and stayed with me for a few days to see the game and catch up while she's on break from uni." katie started to explain as you felt your cheeks burn bright red in embarrassment, burying your face in your hands with a gentle groan.

"stop that, listen." katie lent forward, tugging your hands away and nudging you to sit up before she settled back and continued. "and the whole reason that i brought her to your work was so she could see ya, cause i might have talked her ear off about you." katies own cheeks now flushed a rosy pink as you frowned slightly.

"because if you'd have spoke with me that night, i was going to ask you on a date." katie revealed nervously, fidgeting a little in her spot. "you were?" was all you could manage to get out, positively overwhelmed at the thought.

"well actually i was going to ask for some clarification around the boyfriend thing, but then if we worked that out yeah i wanted to ask ya on a date." katie smiled awkwardly, rubbing her hands nervously on her thighs.

"but i don't-i thought you wanted things to be casual." you stammered out. "i thought you wanted things to be casual, i'd have asked you out after we first slept together until you brought up it being a one time thing." katie admitted as your eyes widened further.

"which is why i made sure i always left right after, didn't get to know ya, kept it casual. cause i guess you're alright in bed!" the girl teased cheekily, softening the somewhat awkward tension a little which you were grateful for.

"but then i couldn't help myself. i really wanted to get to know you more so i started hanging around a little, asking some stuff, testing the waters. then when you didn't immediately kick me out i thought maybe you might be into us being not so casual." katie admitted, the shy and nervous side of her she was revealing now not anything you'd ever seen from the brunette before.

"then mathew came into the picture and it threw me off!" katie rolled her eyes, a small smile curling into your lips as the puzzle pieces started to align in your head.

"so i guess that kind of brings us to now, and was really all i wanted to say." katie looked to you somewhat hopefully, awaiting to see what you would say next in return.

"i only said we should keep things casual after we slept together because i thought that's what you wanted, and i was fine with it too for awhile. but then you started to hang around and ask questions and seem interested, and then you slept over!" you paused for a moment to collect your thoughts as katie watched on, intently listening.

"well you made it complicated like i said and then i started to indulge myself into the delusions of what things would be like if we were something more. but i never thought you felt the same way and then you asked me to come to your game but you were being weird and quiet the whole time. then you came in with what i assumed was a date that really hit home for me that all we would ever be was casual." you revealed with a small wince at the obvious misunderstandings from the both of you.

"and i don't want that. my friends are all off having kids or getting engaged and i want something more than just casual sex, i want to mean something to someone which is why i brushed you off and sort of ghosted you i guess." you laid your own feelings down on the line somewhat hesitantly, scared for what it meant but unable to continue holding them back anymore.

"so you're telling me, that we could have been something more for the last few months if we just...talked about it." katie cracked a small smile which you returned with a slow nod, the two of you sharing a look before breaking out into a bout of soft laughter.

"jesus christ what a mess." katie sunk into the sofa with another laugh, dragging her hands down her face in disbelief. "do you want to stay for dinner?" you asked with a soft smile, head flopping against the back of the couch as you stared at the irishwoman a few feet away who perked up at the offer.

"i'd love to."

~

"no you chose last night! give it to me katie, now." you ordered with a huff, struggling to stay balanced as you straddled your girlfriends leg, craning for the remote which the taller girl held just out of your reach.

"i don't want to watch that reality crap you'll put on, can't we at least watch a movie?" katie held firm, pushing you away with her spare hand as you continued to fight her for the remote.

"no! you said that last night and then you fell asleep about ten minutes in." you rolled your eyes at the memory, squealing as a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, quickly pushing you down onto the lounge as she now sat on top of you.

"well here i am wide awake baby girl, so how about we ditch the tv all together and go to bed?" the footballer smiled suggestively, still holding the remote out of your reach. "sure." you smirked, grabbing her collar and pulling her down into a kiss.

"after we watch love island." you snatched the remote from her, taking advantage of her moment of weakness as you pushed her off of you, hastily sitting up and getting comfortable again as you navigated through to find the latest episode.

"are you serious? you would rather watch that crap than have sex with me right now?" katies chest heaved a little at the sudden passionate kiss which was rudely stolen from her, propping her body up on her elbows.

"i can get you in my bed any night of the week you're quite easy, love island is only on wednesdays." you grinned cheekily, clicking into the episode and patting the space beside you. "easy she says!" katie scoffed in disbelief, sitting upright but staying on the other side of the sofa, arms crossed with a frown embedded into her eyebrows.

with a roll of your eyes at her dramatics you shuffled down the lounge, forcefully uncrossing her arms and maneuvering your body to settle half on top of her, back wedged against the arm of the sofa while your legs draped across her lap, shaking out a blanket and settling it over the two of you.

"relax the face baby, at your age you'll get wrinkles." you teasingly rubbed your thumbs against her forehead as she scoffed. "my age! i'm only two years older than ya!" the bruntte shook her head, offence written all over her face as you grinned at how easy she was to wind up.

"you know i've always been into older women." you wiggled your eyebrows as the girls large hand came to cover your face, shoving your head away playfully. "shut up and watch your shit show."

though of course after ten minutes katie was fully invested, asking you all sorts of questions as you'd settled into her arms, her hands sliding under your top and resting on your stomach.

both of you content in the little bubble of domestic bliss you'd created, wrapped around one anothers fingers tightly and very much so smitten, not a single casual thing about any of it.

[wuwapetal1s]

write anything abt geshu lin or calcharo im begging on my hands and knees ill give u my first born or a kidney whichever u want

I don't need any organs can I have a pair of knees maybe (ty for the request anon :3)

Love languages

content: sfw, rambling-ish format, not entirely proofread (it's midnight currently), swearing used, etc.

reqs open!

— Calcharo.

Calcharo is an ‘acts of service man’ through and through. To me, he doesn't seem the best at giving affection verbally though he thinks he's *very* good at it personally. As in, you will ask him for comfort or reassurance and he'll give it to you readily… But it will sound so stern coming from him.

“I feel uncomfortable with [such and such]..”

“I understand. I will rectify/fix that.”

Communication KING, though I imagine it can still feel very intimidating to bring stuff up to him. It will always be met with understanding, and he certainly would try his hardest to accommodate what language/tone you'd rather hear in those moments (autistic.)

Getting back to the original point, he will do just about anything for you. There's hardly any limits or rules to that fact. He will kill for you, he will fight for you, he will get in trouble with the law for you, etc etc. He'll also grab extra of your snacks the moment he's back in town and stops at the market before he goes to visit you.

Tired from a long day at work or studying? He'll clean up as quietly as he can while you sleep. You'll wake up to all the dishes done and your living space looks pretty much spotless.

He's the kind of man to learn how you organize things pretty easily, even if you're a very messy person. He's very clued in on anything that involves you (smitten, much?) and he's also just got a keen eye on him.

"Ugh, I can't find where I left my-”

“Bottom drawer of the nightstand.”

“Oh.. Thank you!”

He loves holding and kissing you as well, it's his favorite thing to be welcomed home to. Just the ability to sink into your arms is like heaven to him. Receiving, he probably likes physical touch a lot more, but he feels 100x more satisfied doing something for you to show he cares :).

— Genshu Lin.

Genshu Lin is a possessive man. It's subtle, but it's definitely there. Above all else, he adores you. He's a deeply devoted person when in a relationship, though I don't feel like he's had a lot of experience to pinpoint that exactly, but it's his nature. I believe he enjoys gifting you things he gets his hands on, trinkets or otherwise.

He mostly enjoys giving you things you can make use of or wear. He always gets a warmth in his chest when he sees you in the bracelet he got you (one that matches his that he keeps tucked away for safekeeping) or using pens he gave you after you kept losing your last ones. As long as it works, suits you, and it means a lot to you, he's snatching it up.

I also believe he's a sucker for stealing kisses in private. He may not seem it to anyone else, but he's a softie. Just for you though. Cooking something or simply sitting around? Funny how his lips just found their way to your cheek!

He's a bit more apprehensive about receiving it unless it's the time you two lay in bed together, then he'd let you rub his back or play with his hair. In return, he most enjoys quality time.

Even if it's something as mundane as running an errand or having to pick something up from the pharmacy he wants you there. He'd tell you “I don't need your presence, I just prefer it” if questioned, but he does need it. More than he knows or even lets on, he wants you and needs you there. He hates having to be away from you. It drives him up a wall almost. Like nearly insane.

After long hours working or even days/weeks of it he wants nothing more than to just lay with you and bathe in your presence as if it's a balm for his soul :’).

I love these men they're so fine

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi!! I'm sososo obsessed with Satyr König oml you're a genius (also I've binge read your whole yandere könig tag it's so perfect). Okay so sorry in advance for my English, but:

I can't stop thinking about a shy (and kinda pervert lmao) nymph reader who sees him, sees how big and strong he is and how well he secretly protects all her sisters (and how irresistible his big, thick cock is) and really falls in love and is wildly attracted to him, BUT she's very shy and the idea of telling him her feelings is too mortifying, so when he's out in the woods she sneaks in his den, tidies the place up, brings him some flowers as gifts (yeah im inverting the usual roles lol), snuggles in his bed of furs (maybe touches herself fantasizing about him-) and König, well, notices the changes in his house and is VERY perplexed, so one day he returns earlier than usual and sees this cute, soft and unaware nymph moaning and whimpering in his den, her face against his furs, all wet and willing and ready to mate while she quietly moans his name, eyes closed and face red- he'd go FERAL

The idea of desperately horny satyr König with a more than willing needy nymph makes my brain melt oml

(And btw, do you think you'll ever write Satyr König again, in general?)

Satyr!König goes absolutely feral, yes.

He noticed the lingering sweet scent at the mouth of his den already, a sugary, floral scent that he knows so very well. He knows it to his core, because his nose wants to follow that scent whenever he catches it.

Only nymphs smell this sweet, like flower meadows and moonlight, like spring water and honeycombs. The distinct scent of a kore is eerie, and only gets stronger when he walks further into his lair, but what’s more is that he recognizes who this particular scent belongs to… He has memorized her in his loneliness, and every time he catches a whiff of her in the air outside, he can’t help but grow hard.

He barely even notices the absence of his usual mess, that someone has washed all his cups and put his wine pots in order. His den has seen a lot of brooming, and there are fresh flowers placed on his oaken table, thoughtful bouquets hanged from the roots of his oak. But before he gets to inspect those odd little things further – he’s used to trampling flowers out in the wild, he never even thought of using them as decoration, but they do look kind of nice, don’t they? – he hears a soft whimper from the back of the den.

From where he sleeps, and isn’t it peculiar how he can now smell something else, now, too… Something irresistibly heady, something that demands action at once, making his cock stir and swell to the point where it’s almost painful. There’s another soft moan, calling to him like an enchanted flute: his whole den has changed from a dark dungeon into a soft, scented temple, echoing with the sounds of a maiden in heat.

He finds her spread over his thick, musky furs, furs that have seen countless lonely nights, and have to be changed every turn of the moon because they’re so grimy. She doesn’t seem to have any trouble with laying down in his filth, the rough furs that smell of seed and satyr sweat, of old musk and maybe a few tears. Satyrs cannot cry, they say, but that’s only because no one ever sees them do so. He’s spilled more than his fill of salt on that makeshift bed, and not all of it was ropes of hot seed…

“P–please…”

She sees him, sees how surprised he is catching her here, in the place all nymphs always try to evade. She sees how hard he is while watching her bare and panting there, all over his furs, lips swollen from lust. Both up and down, her lips are wet and quivering; she’s completely ready to be taken, and only the tiniest sliver of respect prevents him from fucking her senseless right here and right now.

“Please, I beg of you…”

But when she begs for it like that…?

He doesn’t hesitate a moment longer. He simply cannot.

And why waste time on thinking how she got here (or more importantly, why she got here?) Why mull on the hot question of why isn’t the loveliest creature on earth trying to get away from him?

“No need to beg,” he grunts as he lays himself upon her, cock hot and already leaking as it finds her entrance.

The smell of ambrosia envelops him as he glides inside, the whimper from his nymph a song of paradise. She smiles softly at such immediate lust, or is it the sun that comes out of the clouds, somehow reaching under the branches of this oak?

She welcomes him with open arms, a tear falling down her temple and into her hair as he tries to be gentle with her. But it’s not really his size or his lust that makes her cry. Her hands trail up and down his sides, they try to desperately wrap around his wide torso. She looks into his eyes while he starts to rut her, amazed to have been granted such a blessing at all.

“I’m in love with you,” she sighs into the air between them, her eyes glimmering with worship in the dim, earthy dusk of his den.

He messes up with his thrusts, breathing out his shock while hovering over her. She’s so delicate and frail, and so desperate for a nymph who’s supposed to be frolicking in the open fields… She should be climbing in the tall trees and giggling at centaurs from there, she should be admiring the full moon and the stars, she should be playing in the freshwater with her sisters.

He always thought this one feared him the most, slinking into the shadows beneath the trees whenever she saw him. Casting her eyes down as if she didn’t want him to notice her at all, never mocking or teasing him like the others did. That’s why he left her alone: because he didn’t want to break her. She was far too pure for someone like him.

But now she’s here, with flowers and a hot, wet body, trying to grab him so hopelessly in her fragile embrace…

“You can’t say things like that, little one,” he warns, feeling something akin to fear for the first time in his life.

“Why not…? It’s true,” she chimes there beneath him, a few more tears of joy rolling down her cheeks.

His chest is burning, but the only sound that comes out of him is a low growl. A warning and a plea.

“You shouldn’t tease an old faun.”

“And you shouldn’t stop what you only just started...”

He blinks at her answer, at her soft smile.

Then, he shoots down to kiss her neck.

She moans from love when he opens his mouth, careful not to puncture her delicate flesh with his teeth: he only devours his nymph with soft hunger, licking and sucking her soft skin. Her giggles and sighs drive him to the sweetest madness as he starts to make love to her under the earth.

His home has never heard such cries of joy, felt or seen such displays of devotion… He returns her confessions thousandfold, in every way he can. These silly little creatures always fear a satyr’s love is only about lust, and therefore escape such hollow adoration, but he’s not here to just ease the pain in his sacks.

He’s now forever bound to her, whether she knows it or not…

[fabled-fiction]

i see you write for hobie brown omg i like audibly giggled when i read that 😭 i’m so excited he’s finally getting his recognition !!

if you write for him, maybe some relationship hcs?? (gn reader would be perfect!) bonus points if reader and hobie are around the same height

tysm!!

Hobie Brown Relationship Headcanons

Summary: Headcanons for Hobie Brown in a relationship. From PDA to your private moments to how he acts when you aren’t around

Word Count: 961

Warnings: Talk of injury, POSSIBLE SPIDERMAN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE SPOILERS (I’m just putting this here to be careful)

A/N: I hope this is good!! I wanted to include bits and pieces of what I thought could be a glimpse into some of the softer parts of Hobie!!

🕷️ First of all, this man is a charmer

🕷️ One of his love languages is words of affirmation and trust me this man is always finding ways to compliment any and every part of you

🕷️ His goal is to show how much he appreciates you…but also he just loves seeing how hot your face can get. How flustered he can make you.

🕷️ He gets a confidence boost everytime ngl

🕷️ Especially in public.

🕷️ “Aye, ‘ow good does (Y/N) look?”

🕷️ Once you’re settled into the relationship he will never call you by your name-atleast not fully

🕷️ He expects the same. Call him Hobart and he will be visually confused and apauled

🕷️ “ Im sorry, who? I dont see a ‘obart in the room wif us.”

🕷️ Its always nicknames of your name.

🕷️ His go to pet name is “babes”

🕷️ On a seperate note, Quality time is also a super big thing whenever you get together

🕷️ Cause sometimes he’ll feel bad that his time is essentially split into thirds. Between being Spiderman on his Earth, a part of the Spider Society, and his time as Hobie Brown

🕷️ So he finds any and every opportunity to just soak you in

🕷️ Obviously you have the swing dates. Where he’ll usually take you to the top of whatever building has the best view for the night and have a picnic

🕷️ But thats usually for special occasions.

🕷️ Your usual spot it cuddled up with each other either just watching TV or a movie or sharing earbuds.

🕷️ His favorite is when you’re just doing your own things but together. Being in eachother’s presence

🕷️ Normally he’ll be tuning or playing his guitar, writing down cords that work well together while you have a book or sketchbook in your hand

🕷️ When it comes to late nights together, sleepovers and what not his favorite thing is when you two are cuddling.

🕷️ His favorite thing is to hold your face

🕷️ Because of his spider senses he gets to memorize the smallest of details on your face

🕷️ Also this man, if you get his head on your chesr earlier on in the cuddle session he is OUT

🕷️ Your heart beat is his personal lullaby. His security. It calms him down. Especially if he’s having trouble sleeping after a particularly rough patrol. Expect him to just haul your ass onto the bed and just bury himself into you.

🕷️ Also this man is not SUPER into the traditional PDA, dont expect to get any long kisses from him in public or you sitting in his lap.

🕷️ He has his own form of PDA though. He ALWAYS has to be close to you.

🕷️ If someone is standing next to you? No they’re not. Suddenly he’s (not so subtly) making his way back into HIS spot next to you and then standing shoulder to shoulder.

🕷️ This is something he will not move on, his spot is next to you and your spot is next to him. Whatever surface he is laying on or sitting on he expects you to be next to him or sitting between his legs

🕷️ He’s not a full on hand holder (the most you’ll get is a pinky hold) but he is the type to either always have his arm on you SOMEWHERE. Whether that's resting his elbow on your shoulder, arm around your shoulders. He’s just always touching you in some way.

🕷️ He’s always slinging his body over you, smothering you. THATS his favorite form of PDA.

🕷️ Or if he’s just feeling especially territorial he'll have his hand in your back pocket.

🕷️ Its not because of any superficial reason, this guy is the opposite from that. He’s just solid in the relationship, and prefers the super intimate physicalities to be just between you two.

🕷️ Unbeknownst to him though, its not really needed because this mf is ALWAYS staring at you with the most lovey dovey love sick puppy eyes.

🕷️ Whenever he talks about you to Miles or Gwen or Pavitr or Miguel…really anyone that will listen

🕷️ They usually have to tell him to get back on topic.

🕷️ Also always expect to be wearing SOME article of his. Its his way of…making sure he’s always with you. Totally not because he’s vocal about you being his ans when he’s not with you others gotta know.

🕷️ And he’s the same way. He’s always got one of your jackets around his waist or one of your tees. Anything you’ll let him wear (steal) to show off that he’s yours. It gives him the biggest shit eating grin.

🕷️ If you’ll let him, he’ll go as far as to take an old tee you were planning on getting rid off and add a patch of it to his vest.

🕷️ Also uhmm…this mf never stops texting you. ESPECIALLY if he’s away in another universe he’s sending selfs.

🕷️ He expects selfies back, and it gets to the point where his wallpaper is a collage of all the selfies you’ve taken and he’s taken…candids or not.

🕷️ Its also usually the most unreadible shit, because he’s convined he can text and swing which you’ve told him NOT to do

🕷️ On the topic of his wreckless swinging, you two have a rule

🕷️ He doesn’t want you involved with his Spider stuff. He’s got that part of the stereotypical spiderman mentality. He doesn’t want you to get hurt.

🕷️ But for your sanity, any injury he has you take care of (if you can). If gives you some sort of peace of mind to know how he’s going in and what to expect.

🕷️ Ever since you both got together he’s been more careful.

🕷️ Cause he’s actually got something to come back to on his earth.

🕷️ When you get together he’s more passionate about his cause

🕷️ Because now he has a much more personal goal to work for.

[megalony]

A Burden On You

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, based on an anon request. I hope you will all like it, any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme

911 Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) has a chronic illness and begins to worry that she may be relying on Evan too much. When she has an accident at home, she's too nervous to tell him or ask for help.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy birthday," A soft grin lit up (Y/n)'s face and she held out the navy blue and silver striped bag in her hand towards Eddie.

She could feel Evan's arms curve around her waist and a shiver flooded down her spine when he tilted his head to the side and kissed her temple. His fingertips ran up and down her hips and his chest pressed down into her back and shoulders, keeping her pinned against his front.

They both watched Eddie spin on his heels and a glimmer of shock fluttered in his eyes while he formed a bright smile. He happily took the present and leaned to the left to place it down on the table before he reached out for them both. He was careful. He always was when he was around (Y/n), just like the rest of the team. Eddie wanted to hug her but he never knew if he might hurt her or cause her some discomfort.

(Y/n) looped her arms around his shoulders, grinning wider when she became wedged in between them both like they were sardines squashed into a tin.

"You made it. How are you?"

"Good, we're good. I've missed you all, and Chris." (Y/n) patted his shoulder before she sank back into Evan's chest and reached down to hold his wrists that were around her waist.

She hadn't seen anyone from the station in weeks and it always made (Y/n) feel bad when she didn't get to see them or have a catch up.

"He's missed you too."

(Y/n) didn't always like socialising. It wasn't easy to be around people whenever she was in the middle of a flare up. She had fibromyalgia. Chronic pains that affected her in hundreds of different ways; little pains that Evan would barely bat an eyelid at, crippled (Y/n) down in agony. Illnesses flared up her pains and made her feel faint. Cold weather sank into her bones and made her stiff muscles even worse. Headaches felt like hammers tapping away at her head until she was sure her skull was caved in.

When her condition flared, it worsened (Y/n)'s sleep and she had a lot of trouble sleeping. She couldn't usually stay asleep for too long which led her to be tired during the days and if she slept for too long, her muscles seized up and it made walking or bending or any general movement almost impossible.

She had been all ready and lined up to attend the station Christmas party until she has a fall. She had been dosed up on painkillers and on the day of the party, (Y/n) could barely walk. Her leg had shooting pains radiating from her hip to her foot and her leg had seized up for days.

"Where is he?" Evan glanced his eyes around the station while he rested his chin on top of (Y/n)'s head and began swaying them from side to side.

He wanted to see Chris but he couldn't spot him anywhere in the station so far.

They had all decided that since Hen and Bobby were on shift today, they would throw Eddie a big party here at the station. Then at least everyone could be here to celebrate and it was a relaxed atmosphere and there was much more space to party.

"Helping Bobby put the candles on the cake. Which reminds me, I've got a bone to pick with you." Eddie pointed his finger at Evan who was trying his best not to grin.

He squeezed (Y/n)'s hip lightly when she leaned her cheek against his neck. He didn't have to look down to know she was grinning because she knew exactly what Evan had done to wind Eddie up. He couldn't simply turn up to the party and give Eddie a present, Evan had to play some sort of trick on him or mess him about in some way. He had had a quiet word with Chris yesterday ready to wind Eddie up.

"Oh?"

"Thanks for telling him I've just turned forty- which I haven't and you know it. He's been running round telling everyone he can't fit enough candles on my cake."

Eddie hadn't been best pleased this morning when Chris woke him up to wish him a happy birthday and suddenly exclaimed that he was forty. It didn't take long for Eddie to work out where Chris had learned that from. But once they arrived here, Chris gave a handful of candles to Bobby and began telling people he didn't have enough candles for how old his dad was. Eddie wasn't near forty yet, he had a decade to go before he would be forty.

"You're welcome old man."

"Buck we're the same age." The smile slipped from Eddie's face as he planted his hands down on his hips and shook his head.

"I'll go grab us some drinks," Evan kept his voice quiet and hovered his lips over the shell of (Y/n)'s ear. He grinned, brushing his nose against her skin as his grin morphed into a smirk when he knew he had riled Eddie up. He let his lips wander down to (Y/n)'s cheek where he pressed another kiss before he unravelled himself from around her and moved towards the stairs.

"He's just trying to wind you up, don't listen to him." (Y/n) patted Eddie's shoulder before she left him to look through his presents that were steadily piling up on the table.

(Y/n) fluttered around the station floor for a little while and had a quick chat with Hen before she moved towards the stairs. She knew Chris would be up there somewhere and she wanted to see and talk to him. It had been two weeks since Chris had been round to stay with her and Evan and (Y/n) was starting to miss him. He was like their nephew, they were his main babysitters and he regarded them as his aunt and uncle.

It took a while to get herself up the stairs. It didn't matter that her pain was on a very good level today, she still felt stiff today and her legs were barely under her control.

Exercise was one of the main things that helped her condition.

And with Evan being hooked on his training and exercise to help with his job, it was something they did together. Evan would go on runs and do hard training in the morning, but when he wasn't at work, he would train in the afternoon with (Y/n) for a while. They went on a lot of walks as well.

(Y/n) needed to keep moving, if she sat or laid down for too long, her muscles would start to seize up and her pain scale would increase. She was usually on the go from the moment she got up until the moment she went to bed. It didn't matter how slow (Y/n) moved or how little she managed to get done in a day, she was always up and about.

Her eyes found Evan before they scouted round and found Chris. While Chris was trying to fit as many candles on the chocolate cake Bobby made as possible, Evan was stood over near the pool table close by the fire pole.

He had two drinks in hand and his hips were slouched back against the pool table that wasn't being used.

A smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips as she advanced towards him, she could draw Evan into a game of pool while Chris was busy in the kitchen. He loved a game and whenever he lost, especially to (Y/n), he would get fired up and they would keep going until he won at least one round. And (Y/n) was feeling good tonight, she was having a good day and felt able to try and beat Evan in a game or two.

She advanced towards him and tried to see who he was with. (Y/n) didn't recognise her. She was probably one of the new recruits, Evan said they'd had quite a few new recruits in and out of the station in the last week or so.

Evan tried to force himself to smile as he leaned his hips a little further back into the pool table until he was almost sitting on it.

This was the part of parties he didn't like; getting dragged into conversations with people he'd rather not talk to. And Evan was programmed to be kind and polite, it was in his nature so he didn't find it easy to walk away or find excuses to leave.

He didn't want to be talking to Lucy.

She wasn't someone Evan was very fond of, she was very full of herself and she didn't fit well with the team. She seemed to want to do things her own way and work on her own rather than work with them all as a team. And the last time they had all been out to a club after work, Lucy had tried to kiss him.

That night had been forgotten. Evan had politely declined and hurried away as fast as he could, and from then onwards, Evan did his best to avoid Lucy. They both tried to be polite and pretend it didn't happen but he didn't want to be around her when she always tried to get a bit too close to him and she didn't understand he didn't want to be around her like this.

"So, you've brought you're girlfriend this time?" Lucy took a long sip of her beer and leaned her right arm out on the balcony rail. The way she tilted her head to the side and smiled made Evan shiver uneasily.

"(Y/n) always comes with me to the station parties." Evan's lips quirked into a dazed, slightly confused smile.

Why was she so surprised? This was a party and families and partners were always invited to tag along. And this party was for Eddie. He was Evan's best friend and therefore he was close to (Y/n). Of course she would be here to see Eddie and celebrate with everyone.

"You didn't bring her to the Christmas party, did you?"

"No, she wasn't very well."

Evan bit the corner of his lip and looked down at his feet. Why was she doing this? Where was she going with this conversation?

Christmas had been difficult for everyone. They had numerous emergencies, all of them had been called in for extra shifts at one point or another. Chris hadn't been very well, he had a bad chest infection which meant Eddie was stressed. And then (Y/n)'s condition had flared up and she could barely walk so Evan had been anxious and desperate to stay home with her to look after her.

He turned up for an hour at the Christmas party, then he went home to stay with (Y/n). It felt better to be at home than trying to party and have a good time when he wasn't feeling the festive mood.

"Oh, Hen mentioned she has fibromyalgia. Isn't that a bit, annoying, for you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Something dangerous burned in Evan's eyes and his smile turned into a broken grimace as he looked down at her. Whatever she was thinking, she best not say it to Evan because he wasn't going to hold his tongue or mince his words here if she went down this road. He wasn't in the mood for someone to start disrespecting his partner.

And the way Lucy leaned back and shrugged her shoulders gave off such a casual vibe that made Evan feel worse. She was openly being rude and stood so normal as if she wasn't doing anything wrong.

"I just mean that you're always looking after her, you're not meant to be her carer Buck, you have a life. It makes her quite a burden on you."

A tremor rattled through (Y/n) and she turned around quickly before Evan realised she had been close enough to hear. Tears burned in her eyes but she pushed them away and coiled her arms around her waist. She needed to move; quickly. Before Evan turned or looked over his shoulder and noticed she was here. (Y/n) couldn't deal with the conversation that would follow if he knew she had just heard that.

Her eyes locked on Chris who had finished adding all the candles he had onto the chocolate cake. She made a beeline towards the kitchen and stood next to him and Bobby, leaning down to kiss his temple when he looked up at her with a grin that made her heart swell.

A single tear traced down her cheek but (Y/n) quickly swiped it away and tried to take a steady breath to control herself.

"Dad's cake."

"He's gonna love it… although I don't know how long it will take him to blow out all those candles." Her voice came out oddly steady considering how uneasy and wobbly she felt.

Was she truly a burden on Evan? (Y/n) did her best not to call him if he was at work and she wasn't well or had a problem. She always told him to go out with the guys from work or his friends even if she didn't feel well enough to join. (Y/n) pushed Evan to do things and live his life and not stop or hang around for her.

At least, that's what she thought she did.

Did she hold Evan back? Did she burden him and make him care for her too much? Was he becoming her carer instead of her partner?

Evan was a busy man, he had a very demanding job and (Y/n) would hate to be a demanding girlfriend who stole his attention and all of his free time. Maybe she needed to try and make sure she didn't rely on him as much. Maybe, if she had another flare up, it would be best to keep it from Evan and try to look after herself. He couldn't always be there to help her and do things for her or look after her; (Y/n) needed to look after herself and put less strain on Evan.

"Listen to me," Evan pushed himself up off the pool table and took a step closer until he was towering over Lucy with a menacing look and a fire burning deep within his eyes. "I don't know who gave you the right to judge, but you need to stop. Now. I'm her partner, so whether or not I look after her- which is something I have every right to do- that's none of your business."

How could she stand there and talk to him like that when she didn't know anything about him and (Y/n)?

If Evan wanted to look after (Y/n) and help her when she was ill, he had every reason and right to do that. (Y/n) never asked, Evan didn't even offer, he just looked after her because he loved her and he wanted to. Evan had a deep rooted sense of wanting to be needed and if he felt needed, he would do everything he could to look out for his family and do anything for them.

He loved (Y/n), he loved looking after her and making sure she was alright and Evan would never want (Y/n) to think she had to cope alone when he was right here.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that again."

Evan glared down at Lucy until she held her hands up in surrender and looked down at his chest to avoid his furious gaze.

He turned around and left her standing there before he ripped into her even further and caused a scene. The fire burning in his chest simmered down when he looked across at the kitchen and caught sight of (Y/n). She was stood with one arm around Chris in front of a cake with the most amount of candles on that Evan had ever seen.

Evan leaned over and placed the two cups down on the counter beside the cake before he wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s waist. His arm curved around her middle so his hand could curl over her hip and he tucked his face into her neck.

He felt the way she shivered when he kissed her neck but when he looked down, his brows furrowed. She was tapping her fingers against the counter and he could see her biting down on her lower lip so much she was almost drawing blood. She was anxious about something.

His head tilted up and he pecked her jaw, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

"Everything okay?"

"Hmm. I'm gonna record you all, Chris wants you to help him give Eddie the cake."

He muttered a quiet 'sounds good' against her jaw and began smoothing his thumb over her hip. He wasn't entirely satisfied that she was alright, it was almost as if Evan could feel the unease radiating off of her and through to him and Evan hated not knowing if something was wrong or upsetting her.

But if she told him everything was alright, Evan wouldn't push the matter. He would take her word for it.

***

Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s face as she raked her hands up and down her thighs and down over her knees. Her eyes were starting to become puffy and sore and it only made her feel worse when she couldn't seem to stop herself from sniffing and letting herself wallow and weep.

Today wasn't a good day.

She had been tired enough to oversleep this morning and while the extra sleep had done her some good, it didn't help her legs. She had woken with knees so stiff they started to throb when she tried to walk about. Pins and needles had raked up and down her left leg from her hip to her knee and had lasted until mid-afternoon.

Everything hurt. (Y/n) didn't know why today she was having a flare up, but everything ached and burned and felt like she was being cut to pieces. Banging her shin on the corner of the couch had left her a crying mess even though it was a light bash. Small pains felt like the end of the world when her fibromyalgia was playing up.

Every hour, (Y/n) had forced herself to get up and move about, just to walk around the apartment and get some movement back. She didn't go on her usual walk outside because she didn't feel up to doing it alone.

Evan was at work until lunchtime tomorrow and when he was at work, (Y/n) usually skipped her daily walk because she hated to go out alone. She knew she wasn't burdening Evan by their daily walk because he loved his exercise so it benefited both of them.

Reaching up, (Y/n) dragged her hands down her face and wiped away the tears as she tried to take a deep breath. She had been laid in bed for just over an hour and she needed to move about. She would be going to sleep soon and sleeping made her stiffness worse so she had to do another lap around the apartment before she settled for the night. (Y/n) already knew she wouldn't be sleeping well tonight, both because she was in too much pain and because Evan wouldn't be here with her.

A silent string of curse words muttered beneath her breath when she started to walk away from the bed.

Her legs were barely moving.

Her left leg had gone back to being numb and useless and her right thigh was shaking when she tried to walk. She was going to have to keep moving for a while now to reduce the pain as much as she could before she went to sleep.

(Y/n)'s left hand grabbed the handrail and her right hand glided down the wall to help ease herself down the stairs.

Sometimes she felt like a little old woman when her legs barely moved and her fingers didn't want to curl or bend or move the right way. She felt like she needed to go up and down the stairs on her bum or her hands and knees. It was utterly humiliating if she was ever at someone else's house during a flare up. Walking and hobbling around like this was bad enough when she had to do this in front of Evan.

It had taken (Y/n) a while to let Evan see her like this, she didn't want him to pity her or look at her any differently.

And he didn't. If she wasn't feeling well, he would walk behind her and hold her hands or her hips and help her up and down the stairs. He would carry her if she asked or if she just gave him that certain look. He loved carrying her around, it was his favourite thing to do.

"No-"

A gasp burned in the back of (Y/n)'s throat when her foot slipped. She barely felt her heel scrape against the lower step but she couldn't hold onto the bannister and hold her weight up to stop her from falling. The pain of her back hitting the stairs blinded her and stopped her breathing but when she slid down to the left and smashed the left side of her chest against three steps, a scream tumbled past her lips.

Her body turned into a trembling, shaking mess on the floor when she finally stopped falling and landed with a horrid slap at the bottom of the stairs.

Her arms shakily coiled into her chest but her breaths burned into another scream and she stretched her arms back out.

Her chest was on fire. It felt like she was laid on hot coals. The pain was horrendous, like a knife stabbing into her ribs. Tingling sensations shot down the base of her spine. She could barely feel her legs except for the spiking pins and needles tearing through her muscles that went right down to her heels which were thudding and felt like pins were prodding at her heels.

Tears began to pour down her face and her wet lips wobbled and bubbled as she tried to breathe but ended up gasping and crying out loudly.

Her fingers were curled into her palms and (Y/n) didn't have enough control or will power to straighten them out. She shuffled her trembling hand around to the right side of her chest beneath her bra strap.

She had broken her ribs.

(Y/n) knew they were broken without having to touch them. She had broken a few bones in her life and she knew her pain levels. Her pain was more concentrated and a lot worse than what other people experienced. Small things were amplified and things like broken bones or torn muscles felt like she had been shredded to pieces.

Inching forwards, (Y/n) tried to slide until her back was no longer wedged against the bottom step.

Moving wasn't going to be easy. She doubted it was even going to be an option right now.

(Y/n) didn't have the energy to drag herself back up the stairs that had now become her enemy.

She wasn't going to crawl into the bathroom around the corner because she couldn't be bothered to dwell in there and cry. There was no energy to try and bandage herself up and patch herself back together.

The sofa was too far away to crawl to and her phone was upstairs on the bed so she couldn't call for help.

No!

No. (Y/n) was not going to call anyone for help. She didn't want paramedics coming round to take her to hospital. She wasn't waiting all through the night in A&E only to have an X-ray and be told she could be bandaged up and sent home with stupid painkillers that never worked to take the edge off. And (Y/n) wasn't calling Maddie and having her friend and sister see her like this. It wouldn't be fair to ruin her night like that.

She couldn't call Evan.

No way could (Y/n) call Evan when he was at work. She wasn't going to panic him and drag him home and make him care for her. He would have to help her back up the stairs and patch her up and console her and (Y/n) was not going to be the burden everyone seemed to think she was. She had to look after herself, Evan wasn't here and he couldn't always come home to look after her.

It didn't matter how much she wanted Evan to come home and hug her right now, she was on her own and that was how things had to stay.

A groan tumbled past her lips when she flopped onto her right ride and heaved herself to lay facing the stairs. Her arms stretched out in front of her so they weren't cocooned to her chest and causing her anymore unnecessary pain. She did what she could to straighten her legs out and stop them from throbbing and aching as much.

Her chin tucked down into her chest and she closed her eyes, despite the tears pouring down her face that would surely flood the apartment soon.

No, (Y/n) would stay here until she felt recovered enough to get herself back upstairs into bed.

***

It took (Y/n) well over fifteen minutes to heave herself up the stairs. It seemed pointless and futile to try getting up during the night when she was throbbing and aching and still drenched in tears. (Y/n) spent the night on the floor. She knew either way she wouldn't be sleeping and she had no effort to climb up the stairs just to lay and cry in bed.

Staying on the floor was easier and let her recover her energy. It was well into the morning by the time she managed to find the will power to start her ascent up the stairs. Her knees bashed and twanged against the steps and it made her whole body shudder each time. Her fingers dug into the steps and she leaned her weight onto the wall as she sat and shuffled up.

When she was up the stairs, She crawled over to the bed and spent another five minutes trying to heave herself up.

It was surprising how quickly sleep overtook (Y/n) once she flopped onto her stomach on the bed. Her body was exhausted. Her chest was in immense agony. Her brain was on last reserves. She had spent the night laid on the floor, unable to sleep and unable to move.

She didn't know what time she managed to get into bed, just that it was late into the morning. And she didn't know how long she slept for, just that it had to of been for a while because she managed to hear the front door opening.

If (Y/n) was more herself and less drained, she would of tried to get up and meet Evan at the door or at the very least, meet him at the top of the stairs. She wanted to get up and move about and stop him from realising something had happened for her to now be in bed at lunchtime. But she was aching and broken and felt too defeated to care.

Her arms curled around Evan's shirt that had been left on the bed and she burrowed her face into his pillow, breathing in his scent to try and stay calm and drowsy. She shuffled down a little until the cover was over her shoulder and mostly hiding her whole body and head from view.

Why couldn't she just disappear?

Why was Evan with her? Why did he love her when she truly was a burden? She was to much effort. Too much hassle. Demanding. In pain. Needy. Everything was wrong with her-

"Babe… baby, where are you?" Evan's sing-song voice rang out through the apartment as he dumped his bag down by the front door and moved towards the living room.

His lips pulled into a frown when he realised the tv wasn't on and (Y/n) wasn't downstairs. He knew her shoes and keys were still by the door along with her bag so she hadn't gone out anywhere. He knew the bathroom and kitchen were empty so he headed up the stairs.

He could feel his heart racing in his chest when he looked around the bedroom. The curtains were still closed; (Y/n) always opened them as soon as she woke up. She loved to look out at the view in the morning, especially on a sunny day like this. The tv was on but it was showing the news. (Y/n) didn't watch the news; she hated it. There was a glass on the floor and juice soaked into the carpet. Clothes and pillows were thrown onto the floor.

What had she been doing?

"Sweetheart, what are you doing? What's up?" Shockwaves rattled through Evan as he moved to kneel down in front of the bed.

He laid his arms out on the bed and carefully peeled back the cover while his chin propped up on his exposed arm. He brushed his finger across (Y/n)'s cheek and swiped his thumb across her lower lip, pulling it gently until she finally opened her eyes to blearily look over at him.

Evan knew her like the back of his hand. Her sleep pattern was always troubled because like Evan struggled to switch off or stay asleep due to his hyperactiveness and his job, (Y/n) struggled due to her fibromyalgia. They had routines to stop her from being in so much pain. She never slept in, especially not this late. She was always up and moving about to keep her muscles loose and working and from seizing up.

"Tired," (Y/n) tilted her head and kissed the palm of Evan's hand which she knew tickled him because his finger twitched against her cheek.

"Couldn't you sleep?" When she shook her head, Evan moved his hand and slowly carded his fingers through her hair. "Well, do you want to get up with me? Maybe a walk will make you feel better?"

They usually had a walk after dinner. Evan knew if (Y/n) stayed in bed for much longer she would feel worse when she eventually tried to get up and he hated to see her in pain. They could have lunch and go for a walk and try to stay busy for the afternoon so she could feel better and sleep well tonight. Evan would be here tonight anyway and she slept better when he was with her, he always knew that.

"Hm."

"Well I'll go grab a shower then we can head out, sound good?" He leaned across to kiss her before he got up and started to rummage around for some fresh clothes.

(Y/n) didn't dare look at her chest when she tried to get changed. Her fingers felt a little less tense than earlier so it was easier to change her shirt but lifting her arms high had her wincing and gasping in pain. She dragged her fingers through her hair and put it up into a loose ponytail but when she dragged her numb feet towards the stairs, shudders ran through her.

What if she fell again? What if she couldn't walk down properly?

(Y/n) didn't want to go downstairs. She didn't want to take the risk and hurt herself again. She didn't want Evan to see her be so stupid and silly and fall like she did last night.

Shivers rolled through her aching muscles and her chest twinged in agony when she looked at the stairs again. Tears welled in her eyes and she suddenly moved to sit down at the top of the stairs. Shuffling down would have to do for now.

She shuffled down one step before she cried out and leaned nearer to the wall. The thumping vibration made her chest jolt and stole the air from her lungs. Her forehead slumped onto the wall and her nails dug into her knees until she was sure she was drawing blood beneath her leggings.

"Baby, you alright up there?" Evan leaned against the bottom of the bannister but his smile faded again when he realised (Y/n) was in tears.

He joggd up the stairs until he was close enough to kneel down in front of her with her knees pressed up into his chest. He smoothed his hands up and down her thighs and kissed her thigh.

"You're really having a bad day, hm? Come on, let's get you down."

(Y/n) didn't want him to help. She didn't want to ask Evan for help, but she wasn't truly asking and he wasn't being put out. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden, but was she being a burden if Evan was only offering to help her down the stairs? He helped her all the time, did that count as being annoying to him?

And she didn't want to go down the stairs on her own. Not after last night. Her body was shaking just at the thought.

(Y/n) momentairely forgot about her damaged ribs until Evan tried to slip his arms around her waist. When he helped her he usually lifted her up and sat her on his hips so he could carry her on his front. He would squeeze her thighs and kiss her neck and tell her he wasn't putting her down until she had kissed him at least a hundred times.

The moment Evan pressed his arms into her sides and placed his hands down on her back, (Y/n) cried out. It was hard not to scream and she choked on a gurgling cry when Evan tensed and froze in front of her.

"What? What did I do?" Panic surged through Evan's voice and he tried to pull back to look down at her but she wouldn't let him.

Her face tucked into his neck and her trembling arms curled around his neck to stop him from trying to move away from her. Evan gulped when he felt (Y/n) begin to whimper into his neck and her shaking broke through into him and made him rock back and forth on the stairs.

"Baby, you're scaring me."

"J-just a bad day… my chest hurts t-that's all."

He didn't believe that, but Evan wasn't going to push the subject here on the stairs. He tried to think how to get her down without touching or hurting her chest.

"Let's try get you down, tell me to stop if you need to." He moved his hands down beneath her bum and cupped the top of her thighs. He leaned his weight backwards and very slowly straightened up to keep his balance so he didn't topple them both backwards down the stairs. Once he was stood up, Evan kept his hands on her bum and turned around to start walking down.

He could still feel the way she was shaking against him and her breaths were fast and shallow against his neck. She wasn't well today and it was worrying him to no end.

(Y/n) braced her hands on his shoulders and slowly uncurled her legs from Evan's hips until she was stood on her feet again.

Her head started to spin and her breaths started to run away without her. Each breath was starting to hurt. It was like taking a proper breath made her ribs splinter and break all over again and the thought had more tears rushing down her face. But she wiped them away and turned towards the door. She needed to put her shoes on and grab her jacket.

A walk would do her some good and hopefully take some of the pain away and make it more bearable. She would grab some painkillers when they came back and dose up so she could breathe and speak and move without worrying Evan. She wasn't going to panic him any more than this.

"We're not going if you're in this much pain. What did you do, bump into the door or something, baby?"

Evan braced his hands on his hips and cocked a hip to the side when (Y/n) looked down at his arm. He knew she tended to focus on his tattoos to distract herself when she couldn't look him in the eye.

"I'm okay. I need to keep moving, let's go on a walk." (Y/n) swiped the remaining tears from her face and tried to take proper breaths to calm herself down.

Anger tore through Evan when he watched (Y/n) turn her back on him and move towards the door. She wasn't well, he could see it. He could see the way she was still breathing fast and shallow and she was shuffling rather than walking. Her legs must be stiff and him touching her chest made her cry. Something wasn't right and she wasn't telling him.

When (Y/n) leaned down to pick up her shoe, Evan saw the way she winced and moved a hand to cradle her side but even her light touch seemed to burn her and make her whimper.

He wasn't playing this game.

Evan kept his steps light and agile and the moment he stood behind (Y/n), he didn't give her chance to argue or try and ward him away.

"Evan-"

A shriek tore past (Y/n)'s lips and she leaned forward to brace her hand on the wall when she felt Evan behind her. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up before she could stop him. He pulled it up to her shoulders and let the hem of her shirt fold over her shoulders and neck so he could see what she was trying to hide from him.

"Evan, I- I-"

"What the fuck happened to you?!" His hands hovered over her sides but he didn't dare touch her. He let her turn around in front of him and it let him see the damage more clearly. Bruising had bloomed all along her back and around the left side of her chest. Various colours ranging from black to purple to splotches of red and brown. She was a canvas that had been splattered with paint.

What had she done? What happened while he had been at work? Why on Earth didn't she call him?

A small knock to any part of (Y/n)'s body caused her immense pain so Evan couldn't imagine the agony she was going through with these kinds of bruises.

"What. Happened?" Evan held (Y/n)'s chin between his thumb and finger and tilted her head up so she had no choice but to look him in the eye. He could feel his resolve crumbling when tears started to drench down her face but he wasn't budging until she told him what had gone on here.

"I fell."

"You fell? Fell into what, baby? This is bad… Christ baby girl this is real bad." Evan crouched down in front of her and moved his hands to hold her hips. He kissed her stomach and felt a shiver tear through her abdomen before he looked around her chest. He tried to dance his fingertips along her chest as delicately as he could. Evan knew she was sensitive at the best of times but even more so when she was hurt.

He didn't want to touch her and add any more pain, but he wanted to see the extent of her damage. The way she cringed and cried out and grabbed his shoulders made Evan feel tears welling up in his own eyes.

"I think you've definitely broken a few… come on, talk to me."

(Y/n) stayed silent, rolling her lips together as she moved one hand to point towards the stairs.

"What… oh- fuck no. You fell down the stairs?" Evan pulled back up and dragged his fingers through his hair. "Why the Hell didn't you call me? Baby you've broken your ribs, you could have broken your neck why wouldn't you call me to come home? Why didn't you tell me when I came in?"

Tears traced down (Y/n)'s face before she could stop herself and her hands moved up to cover her face. She could feel each shallow breath panting into the palm of her hands and her tears soaked into her fingers. She didn't want to be doing this. She didn't want to be crying her eyes out in front of Evan like this, but she couldn't stop herself.

She couldn't seem to do anything right. All she did seemed to go wrong or make things worse and now she had panicked and upset Evan when that was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Baby why didn't you call me-"

"Because I'm not being a burden to you!"

(Y/n) dropped her hands back down before she smoothed them up and down her thighs to try and stop them from shaking and sweating. She could feel herself hiccupping through her words and her chest felt like it was shredded to pieces with each fast breath she panted.

But it was the look in Evan's eyes that made her heart drop down to the pit of her stomach.

His blue eyes seemed to turn five shades darker until they were navy blue, bordering on black. Redness swelled beneath his eyes and a sheet of crimson burned along his neck and flushed his face.

His brows furrowed and he seemed to straighten up and become taller at the same time as he took a step back.

Evan didn't understand. What had he done to give her that impression? What did he say to her out of context or in passing or without thinking that made (Y/n) wonder if she had become a burden to him? Whatever he had done, he didn't mean it. Evan never wanted her to have that kind of impression and he thought he had done everything right so she wouldn't ever think like that.

"Why would you say that?" The utter defeat in Evan's voice made a sob burn at the back of (Y/n)'s throat and she tilted her head back as if it would somehow push all the tears to the back of her head.

"Because I am."

"What did I do?" His question left her stumped. Their conversations had shifted, he was on a different track completely. "What did I say to make you think that?"

(Y/n) moved her hands and tangled her trembling fingers together, shaking her hands out to try and release some nervous energy but it only made her fingers ache. Why was Evan on that track? He had never done anything that made her feel like she was a burden to him and she had never said something like this to him before. (Y/n) would never want Evan to think that way because there was nothing he could do that would make her think bad of him. Ever.

"Evan…" Her wrist swiped beneath her eye and collected a fresh stream of tears. "Everyone sees it. T-they see how I burden you… I can't rely on you for everything and keep doing this to you."

"Who the fuck told you that?"

Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip deep enough to draw specks of blood that pooled around her tongue and made her cringe. She could barely see Evan due to the tears cascading down her face and she wasn't sure she wanted to see his reaction either.

Her head tilted back to look up at the high ceiling above them when she whispered "Eddie's party."

A gasp tumbled past her swollen lips when Evan's hands suddenly cupped her face. She didn't hear or see him move. He stood directly in front of her, close enough that (Y/n) could feel each turbulent breath that fanned past his lips and mingled with her own. She could feel his rough chest rising and falling less than a centimetre away from her own and she couldn't look anywhere but at his eyes when he tilted her head back.

His thumbs glided across her burning face just beneath her eyes and he brushed the tip of his nose against hers until her breathing hitched and her nose twitched and tickled.

"That was one person who knows nothing about us. Baby, no one else thinks like that, no one else is that warped and stupid. What she came out with doesn't matter-"

"It does! Evan you… you shouldn't have to be my carer-"

"The only thing that matters here is us. If I tell you I wanna look after you then I will and no one can say shit about it. You're not making me do anything. If I wanna carry you up and down those stairs for the rest of my life, I'll do it. If I wanna stay home and help you when you're having a rough day, that's my choice. No one is forcing me to do anything, I look after my girl because I love you."

There was nothing anyone could say that would make Evan feel differently about this or make him see things differently.

Lucy had no right to say what she did and he wished to God that (Y/n) hadn't heard, or that she had at least listened to what he said in retaliation.

It didn't matter what anyone said because they weren't in this relationship. Evan wanted to look after (Y/n) when she was ill, he wanted to stay home and make sure she was resting and had her meds and he wanted to help her go on walks and exercise to feel better. He wanted to pick her up when she couldn't climb the stairs herself. Evan wanted to stay home with her rather than go out alone and have a boring time he would regret.

Evan was never going to regret staying home with (Y/n) or helping her or looking after her because he loved her and he saw caring for her as a sign of his love. It wasn't a habit or a ritual or a job he had to do.

Nothing would make him see this situation any differently.

"You should have called me."

"And say what? Evan you're a fireman, I c- I can't make you come home when you're at work and your job is important-"

"(Y/n) you're important too!" His tone and pitch took (Y/n) by surprise and she shuddered when his thumbs pressed into her cheekbones so he could get her to look at him again. "If you have a fall and you're hurt, then I expect you to call me. I don't want you hiding things like this from me. My job is just that, it's a job and it doesn't mean more to me than my family."

If she got hurt, Evan wanted to know. He wanted her to call him whether she was crying or screaming or half passed out on the floor. Evan wanted her to ring him and tell him she was injured and she needed help. He wanted to be the one to help her and if he couldn't come home right away, he would make sure someone was there with her.

He didn't want to sit at work being none the wiser that she was hurt. It ground Evan down and made him angry beyond reason that he had been thinking everything was fine when (Y/n) had clearly been in agony, home alone.

She should have called him.

"Promise me you won't try and hide things like this from me."

"I promise," Her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper carried away on the wind, but it was enough for Evan. It was enough to calm the storm raging through his soul and make him finally take a proper, deep breath.

He leaned down and closed the distance between them. Tasting her lips, stealing her breath, swiping his tongue across the little flecks of blood welling up on her lower lip. He let his fingers slide down to curl across the side of her neck while his nose brushed hers and his lips stayed hovering over hers even after they pulled back.

"Now please, let me take you to get checked out."

[pumpkin-cake]

(Domestic) Cowboy

Logan Howlett x gn!reader

i can't get logan with cowboy boots out of my head, here you go :3 also im not to the point in x-men where people get lumberjack logan, i just know the gifs lol, so please forgive me if there's any inaccuracies!

summary - you get logan a present (i got out of control and wrote some domestic stuff with him)

a bit suggestive at the end >:)

Logan sat quietly on the front porch of the small wooden house the two of you shared. He rocked himself on the porch swing he had built for the two of you. He watched as your simple little car pulled up in the dirt-paved driveway, and he smiled just a tad. The corner of his lip couldn't help but quirk up when he saw your face through the car windshield. He took a puff of his cigar, blowing it away from the car so he could see your excited face. He watched you lean over to the passenger seat and grab a box, getting out of the car and hurrying over.

"Logan!" You chirped, sitting with him so abruptly that you jerked the porch swing.

"Woah, careful." He chuckled, about dropping his cigar. If it fell on him? No big deal. On you? What if it burned you? He'd never ever forget or forgive himself. "How was the store, sweetheart? I woulda gone with ya. You shoulda woke me up." He said gently. He had just woken up to a note on the little janky fridge.

"No no! I didn't want to." You quickly responded. You never liked to wake him if it wasn't necessary. Logan had trouble sleeping as it was. If you woke before him, you would always let him sleep as long as he could. "Besides, it would have ruined the surprise!" You said joyously, putting the box into his lap.

"I thought you went for groceries?" He said, taking another puff of the cigar.

"I did! In the trunk, I just saw those and I had to get them for you." You answered sweetly, leaning on his broad shoulder and playing with the buttons of his flannel.

Of course, you had just thought of him. It made his heart swell underneath his adamantium ribcage. God, what did he do to ever deserve you?

"Thanks, sweetheart." He chuckled, putting the cigar in his mouth so he could use both hands to open the box. He could feel your excited gaze on him, and he gave you a curious smile, his eyebrows raised. "Maybe we should carry in the groceries first." He hummed out, trying to hold in a laugh when you pouted.

"Logan!! Please!!"

"I dunno, hun, you got cold stuff in the trunk? Should really get that inside." He cooed out, snickering playfully when you got off the porch swing and 'stomped' to the trunk, popping it and taking some bags out of it. He stood up and intercepted you, yoinking the bags from your hand. "I got it." He assured you. God forbid you do any work. Not on his watch.

"Now you won't even let me take it inside?" You complained, exchanging the plastic bags for the cigar in his mouth.

"Nah." He hummed, bringing the bags inside the house and putting away the food into either the fridge or the shuttered pantry. You loved those doors to the pantry, painted them white when you had the chance. He didn't care what his house looked like, as long as there was a roof over your head and a bed. But you wanted it nice, so goddamn it was going to look nice. He went with you to the hardware store and stood with you while you looked at the paint swatches. He didn't understand what the hell the difference was between snow white or porcelain white, but you certainly had trouble picking between the two.

"Can I get a color for the walls, too?" You had asked him with that smile on your face, and even if he wanted to say no, there's no way he could bring himself to do it.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart." He had hummed, taking the white swatch you'd decided on and holding it between his fingers while you browsed the selection of greens and yellows.

"What color do you want our room, baby?" You asked him, eyes still focused on the array of colors.

"Don't care." He said, and you gave him a bit of a glare.

"You have to have a preference." You argued.

"Not really, sweetie. Don't give a rat's ass what the bedroom wall color is as long as you're in our bed." He said in a casual tone. It really was that simple to him.

Your face softened for a moment, and you grabbed a nice yellow. You showed it to him. "How's this? Light Goldenrod?" You suggested, reading the name he personally thought was goofy as all hell.

"Perfect, hun." He hummed, taking the swatch from you and sneaking a kiss to your cheek.

You insisted you paint everything, and Logan wasn't going to argue when you were so stubborn. He did have to come help when you got too short to get everything. It was raining, and the ladder was outside in the shed. He wasn't letting you go get wet, and he just didn't feel like going out himself.

Logan got all the groceries inside and joined you on the porch again, taking the box into his lap. "Alright, let's see." He hummed, deciding to no longer tease you and open it up. He pulled out a pair of boots, his eyebrows quirking.

"Cowboy boots?" He asked curiously, and you grinned happily.

"They'll go great with your clothes!" You chirped, gesturing to his flannel over his white beater, along with his jeans and belt. "Do you like them?"

"'Course, honey." He said, kissing your temple. Even if it wasn't what he was expecting, he'd be damned if he wouldn't give them a shot. He handed you his cigar and kicked off his regular work boots, pulling up his jeans a tad and putting them on. He was surprised at how well they fit. You really did pay attention.

"Walk around in them!" You urged, wanting to make sure they were absolutely perfect. That earned a chuckle, and he got up from the porch swing with an old man grunt. He walked a bit aways and turned a bit sassily, and you giggled. He pulled up his pant leg and flashed the boots to you like a model on a runway. If anyone else saw him like this he would die, but you? Worth it to see you laugh and smile at his silliness. He strutted back to the porch swing and sat.

"They fit well, baby." He chuckled, watching you continue to giggle at his goofy walk.

"Maybe you should get a cowboy hat." You teased, and he cocked an eyebrow. He took the cigar from you, putting it out on the nearby ashtray and grabbing you by your hips. He yanked you (carefully) onto his lap, the porch swing creaking a tad.

"You know what they say." He said lowly with a mischievous smile. "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." He cooed, and you blushed.

"I'd ride this cowboy any day." You countered with your hands now on his flannel, and Logan could hear your heartbeat speed up.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhm!"

"A'right. Let's get to it."

[moonsaver]

i’ve been thinking a lot about that one sunday arranged marriage AU you had at some point, the one where the person marrying him isn’t a halovian so there’s some unavoidable distance between the two. would you happen to have any more thoughts about it to share? 👀🙏

Hello anon! Its been a while since i wrote a good arranged marriage au, so im guessing you're referring to this post?

As for more thoughts..

I imagine although Sunday does sincerely try to be closer to non-halovian reader despite the difference, there's still something that's off.

He speaks with his colleagues, shares meaningful glances at them, says things you don't quite understand. When you ask, he simply tells you to brush it off, and to not worry. There's an invisible wall between you two.

And you know Sunday's trying, but you know he also has his reservations. Although you understand he himself cannot cross over that invisible wall – it still hurts. You can't understand him the way he wants you to.

And his feelings also fester; he wants to be close, but something is constantly stopping him, like there's a stone instead of a heart in his chest. He doesn't admit the way he doesn't like when you laugh with most others instead of him. He doesn't admit the way he feels troubled when he sees your back turned to him late at night, after another conversation that was left unfinished due to an implied "you wouldn't understand". He doesn't admit the guilt that eats him up whenever your eyes dull from hurt or disappointment when he cuts the conversation short during your shared breaks.

It is always his own doing, and yet he curses his own hands. They long to touch you, but to cross over that line – to know that line would not disappear, and it would not be the end of the world to transgress it – he wouldn't know how to continue. His greed will eat him alive, but the longing that aches his chest will rot him before that.

And he does cross that line. He watches that bold, unflinching boundary tremble the slightest bit inside him when he leans over to kiss the forehead of your sleeping form. He teeters that line when his hand inches towards yours on the dinner table. He crumbles that line with his own two hands when both of you pour your hearts out in the middle of the night. And he doesn't flinch when he falls, nor when his sins burn his back, and not when you both kiss for the first time.