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etheriadearie · 3 years

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Hello! Absolutely love your analyses! I'd spend breaks during work reading through a piece and I appreciate all the evidence (data as Entrapta would state) you use. I see many people boil Catradora down to being abusive (aimed at Catra) and it's just so hard to argue since there's so much depth to their relationship. What are your thoughts? How would you respond to someone stating so?

:: ... Reflections on the emotional healthiness of Catradora, on Adora's arc, and on SPOP as a morally complex story-

Hi, and thank you so much for this question, I know that some SPOP fans have this kind of reaction, and while I get why they feel bad, I strongly believe such a reaction was not the intended outcome. Which is my first point:

To anyone who feels this way, Hey!!! Noelle wouldn't hurt us like that, and even though we see hurtful behaviors shown in SPOP, this isn't part of suggesting that we forgive our abusers- Noelle wouldn't do that!!

SPOP is unique in that it explores trauma as seriously as it does… this show is so many different things: it's beautiful, it's fun, it's kid friendly, and it's really meaningful. I really, really believe that both Catra and Adora’s stories are meant to be a comfort to people who grew up in situations like theirs… (I, for one, find Catra’s story very comforting).

My second point is that Adora is as much a product of hurtful abuse as Catra is, and this includes that she has some very hurtful behaviors towards Catra, especially as we see the two of them together starting well before her defection. For example-

We all know Adora is a sweetheart, and for her to even behave in hurtful ways is so against her own best nature that it's a sign that she's not really being herself. It's also very wrong in terms of her ability to be She-ra, as Etheria chose her for her ability to love- she is deep down an incredibly loving and generous person, and love is her power. Yet, when we see her with Catra in ep1, she's acting hurtful instead. This- is where their relationship becomes so complex- because Catra really isn't being hurtful, and Adora has a history...

...And, this is a much bigger problem than just her relationship with Catra, because Adora is also hurtful towards everyone in her past life, she vilifies them and fights them- never once does she make an honest attempt to help her former friends- Adora simply makes an assumption that fighting them is a necessary hurt of her 'destiny'.

Yet... this 'destiny' is a lie, and we cannot ignore how Adora's arc from s1-4 ends with her barely avoiding destroying all of Etheria... furthermore, with Horde Prime finding them all as a consequence. Despite Adora's attempts at being a hero through s1-4, it ends with her having betrayed all of her former friends for a 'destiny' which was evil all along- Light Hope never meant to make her a hero, only to use her and the rest of the princesses as a weapon. This is because Adora had followed her 'duty' and therefore failed to be her greatest good as a hero of love.

Her decision of duty and all that goes wrong results because of how Adora believes in duty before all else, including and especially love. This false belief system, where she simply fights rather than looks to help her former friends, and acts hurtfully to enact this false 'destiny', is because of how Adora was hurt by her abuser. And it makes her actions wrong- she isn't valuing love, and, she is being controlled by others, some which are evil, some which are unfair- through her false belief in duty.

This concept of duty, which is so wrong, is what Adora's entire struggles are about- this includes her hero's arc. Her perceived need to serve a false 'duty' is the reason she justifies her hurtful behavior and neglects to help her former friends, it's the reason her s1-4 arc ends in disaster with her destiny being revealed to have been false, (and that she's been manipulated for evil), and, it's the reason she's so hurtful to Catra- betraying all of their love, while failing to make any true effort to understand Catra's feelings

We might not like Catra's reaction, or how terribly wrong the war is (... one which began before either of them was even born-), but Adora wrongly believes in putting her duty so far ahead of all else that she's failing to look deeper. Adora does break promises, and she does hurt people- she hurts everyone in her old life, not just Catra, with her hurtful and blind prioritization of duty ahead of love and all else- her belief makes her vulnerable to further manipulations. Her entire concept of duty before love makes her miss how she's hurting them, and, how she's wrong to do this... ... it results in so much pain. (-in fact, Adora ends up hurting EVERYONE with her stubborn belief in enacting a false destiny, as we'll discuss.) .

So, for the purposes of this question, we need to look at Adora's behavior, and how she's wrong to be so hurtful. Catra ends up very much more wrong- that's well documented- and which we all know- but, Adora is She-ra, Catra is not, and all of Adora's actions matter so much because she is at the center of all that happens as She-ra. And, she's got to learn to value love, going against the hurtful beliefs of 'duty' that her abuser ingrained into her psyche to control her. Even though Adora is trying to do her best, she falls short of what that actually is, and it's all because of her false belief that duty must define her. She is a hero of love, not a hero of duty or destiny- because destiny cannot power her, nor guide her. Love is what must guide Adora, because love is her real power... and as a hero of love, she cannot "leave anyone behind" who needed her help...

Through s1-4, by acting hurtful, Adora is essentially creating a false equivalency by equating evil upon all of her former friends, in a hurtful way which all but ensures further division and misunderstanding. She-ra is supposed to be a uniter, a healer- yet Adora is making no effort to do so. Adora is such a extensive product of abuse that she doesn't even see that she's doing so, and she has to wake up to this in order to become a hero of love...

:readmore:

Also, in part: their division happens because when Adora leaves Catra and everyone else in her former life behind she does so having not once fought for them (see Lonnie in the portal reality, below) - very much like how she didn't fight for her and Catra's love against their abuser. As She-ra, Adora needs to be strong enough to fight for ALL of them, rebellion and the vulnerable people in the horde who are trapped in its abusive system alike- yet, Adora doesn't do so- instead she takes a simplified view of morality, and through it, justifies abandoning her and Catra's love and fighting against instead of helping everyone in her old life. That Adora doesn't try to do better is already hurtful on its own. Adora's choice of such a hurtful path happens out of multiple complex factors, some deal with her history as a abuse survivor- but in reality, it's mostly because everyone else around Adora also is not being their best, either... ...more later

As for Catra- her choices, while very very bad, come out a reaction to Adora's history of hurtful behaviors- her inability to trust Adora is a trauma reaction, just like Adora's, yet, that reaction comes in response to Adora's continued hurtful behaviors: Catra is trying to be apart from someone who has constantly hurt her by naively following duty while showing no effort to understand how she's hurtful or to fight for their love. Adora did this within the horde by playing favorite to Shadow Weaver, and Catra feels that Adora must be misguided, just like she was before, for leaving her- instead fighting against her so willingly and vilifying her... lumping her in with their abuser as evil.

Catra was constantly abused, and watched on as Adora played favorite to that abuser while ignoring how Catra was treated. So, Adora was betraying Catra all along, and had no awareness of it- it shows that Adora has a blind spot- something which she struggles with throughout her hero's arc: such as Light Hope using her for evil. Catra felt as though she had already lost the friend she thought she had years ago, and then Adora's continued hurtful behavior following her defection, while making no effort to save their love, is what causes Catra to feel she must part ways with Adora. By Catra's reasoning, Adora must not really love her- why else would Adora be so ready to hurt her, when she made a promise to love her? Catra doesn't think Adora is actually being a 'good' person by leaving like she does- and Adora's hurtful divisive actions confirm Catra is right- by choosing divisiveness and a false destiny while devaluing their love, Adora is indeed falling short of being the hero of love which Etheria chose her to be...

So, we can see Catra's distrust and Adora's being used by Light Hope as parallel, because Catra is right that Adora is letting people manipulate her, just like she did within the horde- even if Catra is only basing this belief off of her gut feelings in s1. Adora ends up betraying her promises, and being used as a weapon by Light Hope, (and the rebellion, too) for the same reason: her belief in duty which blinds her to all else.

:: 🛑 There's also the matter of whether Adora and Catra are 'in a relationship' during the war. That's dubious- morality of the war aside, Adora divides their friendship for it, not Catra- so they aren't together anymore... And, as we'll discuss, Adora is coming up short of making the best decision by doing so. But, in regards to our question: what happens during the war between Catra and Adora should be considered separately, as apart from this time in their history, Catra was quite loving with Adora: both before, and then after, the war... and so it's important to not falsely equivalate Catra actions in this way- they are not 'together' (...again, morality of the war aside..) ....more later

We'll come back to Catra's motivations later, but here's the quick reference for the meantime- Catra doesn't do what she does out of wanting to hurt Adora, her love confession in s5 precludes that. And she also doesn't do it out of any great allegiance to the Horde- it's just all she knows, and she stays there because she's trying to live free of Adora- who is a constantly inadvertently hurtful person, as Adora had actually been betraying their love for many years. But: most importantly, Catra does what she does as part of her fight against their real abuser, whom Catra sees as the real evil in their lives. This starts as Catra taking down Shadow Weaver herself, and stays true within the meaning of her other actions through the rest of her arc as well. ...more later

All in all, this is part of how Noelle gave us a morally complex story with SPOP- it's not black and white like most stories we've seen (such as ATLA). The war, while terrible, has multiple sides to it, and with it moral grayness: The horde is wrong, yet isn't really made up of evil people. The rebellion is right to defend Etheria, but has a corrupted view of the horde where they summarily judge all horde as evil. That's an amoral belief, as we'll discuss, and it plays into Adora’s confusion over who she really must be, because their hurtful views block Adora's ability to be the hero of love she's meant to be.

... And, of course- the princesses are part of an evil super weapon, as naive enablers of a generational trauma so dark that it threatens them all... ...more later

Finally, the MAJOR PSA REGARDING ABUSIVENESS.. (and therefore this question)

Since we wish to discuss abusive relationships, we must recognize that there is indeed such a relationship at the forefront of SPOP, but it's not Catradora.

All of their bad behaviors- Catra’s isolationism and hurtfulness for self protection, and Adora’s hurtfulness in the name of false duty and vulnerability to naively trusting in false ideals set out for her by others, is because of how Shadow Weaver hurt them.

SPOP as a series is all about believing in love, (even in other character arcs aside from Catradora-) and it really is about both of their struggles with how their abuser hurt them, which they have to get past to embrace love. Their story is one about the how and why we ourselves sometimes struggle to accept love- many people struggle due to having been hurt like they were- and through them, Noelle tells us a story of our own lives. 💢(minor trauma warn to readers, altho, I promise nothing too dark in this post). It's the real truth of Catra and Adora’s arcs: that they both act out hurtfully due to how their abuser has hurt them, and as such, they both contribute to their division, not just Catra. And, they both go through long arcs of self realization and healing to be better from how they've been hurt, to be their best selves and so they can be together again.

This journey of self realization is what allows Adora to start being a real hero in s5, and accepting Adora's flaws in her actions before then is an important part of understanding her arc, because, as She-ra, everything Adora does matters- no matter how unfair what's done to her is, she's got to be her best, and she has to trust in love in order to win in the end...

That concludes the "short" explanation, but, since abusiveness is such an important issue, we'll cover some specifics it in greater detail. This- is Adora's hero's arc- her and Catra's love IS her hero's journey, because she's not trusting in love in how she acts through s1-4.

So, apologies for how long this will be, but we'll be covering the following subjects as part of this discussion-

1- how and why Adora improperly continues hurtful behavior that started within the horde after she finds the sword, which Catra reacts to, and how Catra wasn't hurtful before then,

2- how Adora could have used She-ra as a liberator to help her former friends, and how the rebellion also being corrupt is why she misses seeing it,

3- Adora's self realization of her truth of love, and how it allows her to step past false destiny and manipulations,

4- how Adora was being a false hero during seasons 1-4 as told through Horde Prime forcing her to fight chipped Catra to save her during Save the Cat,

5- Catra’s wrongness and why she believes she's totally alone against her abusers evils,

6- how the love we see in s5 was always the truth.

Back to the topic of Adora’s hurtfulness, as we see it in ep1, that goes so deeply against her better, loving nature... (part 1)

From the moment we see Adora and Catra together in ep1, it's obvious that their relationship has already become very unhealthy-

This is almost entirely unhealthy on Adora’s side, not Catra’s, as every time Adora speaks to Catra, she does so with a tone- she's rude to her, she's hypercritical of Catra's actions, she's incredibly judgemental, and she acts as if superior to her.

Yet, Adora had become the puppet of their abuser- Shadow Weaver, making the mistake of trying to fulfill the false expectation of being perfect as she was told to do. And in doing so, her naive trust in fulfilling that duty made her an unintentional enabler of her own abuse, as well as Catra's.

So, all of Adora's judgments out of supposed superiority come out as false: she's devoted to a woman who means only to destroy them, it shows that she really didn't know what was going on with Shadow Weaver's abuse.

In contrast, when we look at Catra’s behavior, it's clear she thinks Shadow Weaver is evil. And, in terms of how she interacts with Adora, it's obvious that Catra is actually still being a very loving and supportive friend to Adora- we only see any of her negativity emerge in response to Adora’s own hurtfulness. As things stand in ep1, Catra isn't abusive, if anything, it's the opposite (although I wouldn't use that term).

So, we can start to see that Adora has an entire history of deeply hurtful behaviors towards Catra- starting well before the moment Catra refuses to follow her, or before her decision to forsake their love go to war against her following “Promise”. There was no good reason for Adora’s hurtfulness- it was done in respect to a false duty made for her by their abuser.

This false belief of superiority is another way in which we can see that Adora was failing to see the true evil that was happening as she was playing the favorite- she blindly believed that being good, as measured by an ideal set out for her by their abuser, was her only way of solving her problems.

Yet, Adora always had a choice- her assumption shows a failure of reasoning, because fulfilling that duty as she was told to never would have resulted in anyone being safe- much like her trying to fulfill Light Hope's ‘destiny’. Shadow Weaver only made Adora think that as part of her plan to use and then destroy her.

Likewise, Adora always had a choice to intrinsically value her and Catra’s love over the corrupt duty forced on her by Shadow Weaver- she could have kept the faith in their love, with Catra. Instead, Adora became hurtful towards Catra...

Adora was a bad friend- and her being as such in the name of false duties is the same reason she ends up being used as part of Light Hope’s corrupt 'destiny'. Also, being a bad friend is a canon part of Adora's hero’s struggle, (spoiler warn, LotFP) as being a bad friend can also be seen in how Adora acts towards Glimmer in s4: (as Bow says in s4ep8: "...it's hard being friends sometimes... So why am I the only one who's willing to work at it?". (In LotFP, Scorpia outright calls Adora a bad friend, and rightly so..)

In regards to Adora’s failure in choice- she and Catra weren't children anymore, and standing up to Shadow Weaver was always a possibility. She could have refused to play along in a system where Catra was made to suffer while she was given praise. And, the real kicker is: judging by how easily Catra takes down Shadow Weaver without Adora’s help, it wouldn't have even been that hard.

This shows Adora really was guilty of blind devotion to Shadow Weaver, because Catra had been prepared to step free of that abuse, probably for years. So, when Adora leaves Catra, devaluing their love and instead vilifying and falsely accusing Catra of being evil like Shadow Weaver (which is an immensely hurtful thing to do after the years of torture Catra suffered), Catra decides to step free of her abusers control, while also stepping free of Adora’s continued hurtfulness.

So, we see that Adora has a dangerous level of blindness to the deeper evils that people mean to use her for, which we can see in other places throughout her arc, such as with Light Hope’s plans for her. She can't even see how she's been corrupted.

Catra, in contrast, shows us she knew all along about their abusers' true evil: she shows her awareness by her little rebellions against a corrupt system where she was constantly being hurt. Catra refused to stay weak, and prepared to protect herself from her abuser all along. Yet, all Adora ever did was act out towards Catra for refusing to conform like she did...

Let's jump forward to when Adora finds the sword, and we can apply Adora’s naive belief in enacting duty, while being hurtful in the name of it, to that decision as well:

Adora accepts the sword, and her new ‘destiny’, with blindness and devotion- believing it to be her ‘destiny’, she willingly accepts that it comes at the price of hurting Catra as well as everyone in her old life as part of fulfilling it.

This ‘destiny’, or duty, is actually nothing but a lie made to confuse Adora by Light Hope and the First Ones- it's just a manipulation to use Adora for their evil. Believing in her 'destiny', Adora then makes no real effort to understand the darker truth behind what is really being asked of her, instead trusting in that 'destiny' and betraying everyone in her old life with her hurtfulness, instead of helping them, in service to this ‘destiny’. (...more later)

Adora in effect swaps Shadow Weaver for Light Hope, (the rebellion also uses Adora as a weapon in a hurtful way, which we'll discuss), and in doing so Adora acts hurtful to someone she loves, she agrees to hurt and therefore fail a whole group of people who deserve better from her. Adora has no right to vilify them like she does, after all, she was one of them herself. Also, her vilification shows no concept of her own hurtfulness and previous role as an enabler in that system.

Sure, Adora could complain that it wasn't her fault because she was being unfairly manipulated, yet Adora continually shows that she is vulnerable to those very same manipulations, again and again, throughout s1-4. It's all to do with her false assumption of fulfilling duty at any cost.

... and it brings Adora’s entire supposed ‘moral awakening’ into question, because while she's right to stick up for the citizens of Thaymore, her entire hurtful and superior attitude towards Catra while she does it is false: it's just like how Adora was hurtful towards Catra as part of playing her role as the favorite of their abuser within the horde. She was blind to the real evil that was occurring.

She therefore has no business being so hurtful towards Catra throughout s1, even IF she didn't know about the continued tortuous abuse Catra suffered because of her. All that Adora’s supposed righteousness over her ‘destiny’ actually shows is that she’s blind to what is really happening- in the past, and then again when Light Hope uses her for evil.

Also, fun fact: Adora’s supposed 'holier than thou' newfound morality isn't even her own: we know she's vulnerable to accepting others' expectations- in this case she's accepting Glimmer’s hardline view that all people in the horde must be evil. Adora takes this closed minded viewpoint and uses it as she tries to enact her false destiny all the way through s1-4, never once making an effort to help her former friends.

All in all, Adora falls short of being a real hero by doing this. And, Adora really does take things too far in her stubborn pursuit of her destiny (LotFP spoiler warn). She's so willing to hurt Catra, and all of her former friends, and is so far removed from the hero of love we see in s5 by doing so. Catra is right that Adora isn't the friend she used to have- Shadow Weaver's abuse changed Adora into something hurtful instead. (In LotFP, Adora strait up attempts to terminate Catra’s life; ...in contrast, Catra only ever tries to capture Adora...)

Catra, meanwhile, has no reason to trust Adora when she tells her she's defecting because of Adora's past history as an enabler of her (their) abuse. If Adora could hurt her, while being devoted to her abuser, what reason does Adora give Catra to think that anything will be different with her sudden new devotion to the rebellion? The answer is none, and as Catra had to look out for herself to protect herself from abuse, she won't trust Adora. Meanwhile, Adora can't even make an effort to understand Catra's feelings of being hurt by her actions...

Also- at least Catra had a plan- which we know by how she takes down Shadow Weaver to be free of her continued abuse. Nor, also, does Catra just want to leave everyone in her old life, accepting the rebellions belief that people like her are only worthy of being vilified and condemned by the princesses- Adora's self righteous judgements just makes Catra think that Adora is being hurtful and naive. Adora, meanwhile, had no plan- and even after her 'destiny' is revealed, she's still playing into the hands of her abusers while trying to fulfill her 'destiny'. It doesn't matter if Adora doesn't mean to, she's still got to be better than letting corrupt people use her for evil. She needs to learn to not be so naive.

The best theory for the hurtful way Adora behaves- by being so hurtful while ignoring the deeper truths- is that Adora has a deeply engrained hurtful world-view due to how she was hurt by Shadow Weaver, towards her abusers purpose of using and sacrificing Adora. Because of how Adora was treated, she believes that duty always comes at a cost, and that it will be painful- it's a corrupted, painful way of seeing the world where she just assumes pain comes as part of her reality of being charged with duty.

This is false, it's just what her abusers (Light Hope, too) want her to believe, and waking up to how this corrupt concept of duty is used against her by her abusers is something that must happen for Adora to be able to move past it, so that she can start being a hero of love like she's meant to be. She cannot let naive concepts manipulate her into being hurtful, and cloud her from seeing her path of love. Adora in s1 sees none of this- she only sees her concept of duty which is wrong- she does get wiser throughout s1-4 which sets up for her heroic reveal in s5, when we her true She-ra form.

So, Adora's fighting Catra and all of her former friends, instead of looking to help or understand them, is a presumption that it is a necessary cost of her duty. Upholding her 'duty' was always painful for Adora, and so she thinks hurting her former friends is 'just how it has to be', because Shadow Weaver conditioned her to expect that duty would always feel painful. Her hurtful world view assumes evil on them all, while making no attempt to do better. That's not heroic- Adora is accepting enacting a lesser evil as part of 'duty', just like when Catra was allowed to suffer within the horde while she was given promotion. A real hero faces evil at it's source, by simply vilifying her former friends and breaking her promise to Catra, Adora is being no hero of love...

Which brings us to our next topic: why Adora fails everyone in her old life, and how she could have done better to help the people trapped within the horde’s abusive system. (Part 2)

Adora’s hurtful vilification of everyone in her old life, while never finding a way to help them, really is a failure to all of them. In particular, we can see how much Lonnie feels this way, much like Catra does-

Not finding any way to help them was always a failure of Adora as a hero, something which happens because of her trauma belief of 'duty' before all else, and how her new allies in the rebellion wrongly influence her to believe that all horde are evil. Their corrupted, hurtful views makes Adora miss an obvious possibility:

Adora could have used She-ra as a liberator, rather than as a conqueror.

I realize that may sound like hyperbole, but, there's plenty of evidence of how Adora fails her former friends, and even more about how the rebellion fails the people of the horde. ->see the following pics-

So, we need to talk about why Adora never tries to help her former friends, in order to open a path to freedom like she was offered because she was She-ra.

Even though the rebellion may have the moral high ground in this story, they still fall short of being their best with their derogatory views of the horde- it further divides themselves from what are essentially fellow native Etherians, it surrenders all further thought to what is essentially hate. One result of their flawed views is how we see its Glimmer that activates the super weapon: as she says “we’re the good guys, remember?”. Are they really being their best, though?

Glimmer and Angella have pain from the war, which gives them a corrupted view of the Horde where they summarily judge all Horde to be evil out of their pain. These are derogatory views which are based on their own personal feelings of injury, which leads to their views, as leaders, crossing over from needing to protect themselves, to enacting a unnecessarily hurtful exclusion of a group of vulnerable people who needed their help.

This isn't to say that their pain isn't real… it is, it just doesn't excuse an isolationist, closed minded view of their situation. Surrendering further thought out of emotional pain simply is never healthy, they take their feeling so far as up never show any understanding to any individuals within the horde, or to try to help them. As the leaders of free Etheria, this is a failure of their station as those leaders.

So enters our sweet Adora, who, while she does always mean well, is a lifelong product of abuse that makes her highly vulnerable to blindly going along with others' expectations of her. Afraid to fail her new allies, Adora accepts Glimmer and Angella’s ‘us versus them’ close minded view of the horde as evil as her own, she ignores her deeper knowledge of how this isn't true she has from her time as one of them. Because of it, Adora never considers how they deserve to be given the same chance to be better that she was granted because of her Princess powers.

In all of SPOP, Adora is the only person who is ever actually offered a chance to switch sides. This is a failure that happens because of the derogatory and closed minded views which predominate the rebellion's beliefs- it's no secret that they hate horde soldiers, and that no forgiveness is ever offered. It's prejudiced and amoral.

In SPOP, the Horde isn't evil in the black and white sense that most stories present their villains. They are a combination of bad, but also good: we can see that good in the stories of Catra, Scorpia, Lonnie, etc- even Hordak, the supposed leader of the evil Horde, shows he can be better and gets a redemption.

So, Adora’s intimate connections to people from her former life always demanded more understanding from her than just being crushed under She-ra’s golden boot. ... Not that anybody in the rebellion is actually interested in considering this possibility- and Adora is far too concerned at failing in her new duties as She-ra to stop and see it, and so challenge those views.

It was another missed chance to help people, rather than divide, that Adora misses seeing due to her traumas- her addition to their ranks should have been a chance to change the derogatory views of the rebellion for the better, to open a real path towards freedom for people within the horde who feel trapped by its abusive system, so they can find safety from it like she did when she switched sides.

It's a way in which she could have helped her former friends, and it might even have lead to resolving the war more peacefully- losing soldiers in such a way would have weakened the Horde, possibly even seen its collapse… also, Catra would have seen that Adora was no longer giving in to a blanket derogatory view of people like her... -> ->note, Adora's childhood best friend helms the Horde, and yet, Adora still cannot find common ground ? (This is because of Adora's own divisive and prejudiced behavior towards Catra. Also, Hordak is barely the leader of the Horde- as he hides in his lab and only emerges to makes snide comments.....)

Quick aside: yes, Adora does make a few weak offers of this in s1 to Catra, but always coming after Catra had been further abused because of Adora’s actions, and always with Adora acting in her superior way that shows no understanding of how she's hurtful. It makes Catra doubt Adora’s sincerity.

As it turns out, this derogatory view of the rebellion is a much larger failure: it fails the people of the horde, but very importantly, the way their hurtful views affects Adora equals a personal failure of them all to Adora.

What's really so terribly wrong with the rebellion's close minded views is that we never see any quarter offered to the horde: there's no opportunity for such people to be better- no choice given to them to step free of their abusive situation, and to prove they don't really stand for that. Not having that offer in place is an immoral act, and an abandonment of duty.

Glimmer and Angella’s presumption of evil upon all horde with no path to forgiveness in itself traps those very people in the system which forces them to act in evil ways. War is never an easy thing to solve- but presuming the enemy as evil shuts down all possible further understanding, and perpetuates the violence: as leaders of their world, Glimmer and Angella needed to do better.

And, their hurtful views are also a enormous personal failure to Adora, because it frightens Adora and leads to her continued self hurting-

Adora accepts the rebellion's close minded views that are forced on her, she throws herself into battle continuously trying to make up for her failure to be perfect. She's so afraid to fail them that she acts in compromised ways- such as looking to sacrifice herself, or hurtfully protecting her concept of 'destiny' at the cost of brutalizing her former friends in battle, never looking to help them.

It's a hurtful way to live, and Adora does it because she's so afraid to fail her new allies as a former child soldier from the Horde, and so, their views hurt her- Angella and Glimmer's views that being from the horde is synonymous with evil are a personal failure to Adora, particularly from Angella: as a mother, she could have helped Adora to understand her new role as She-ra, and to help Adora understand her trauma.

Instead, Angella judges Adora and treats her like she's evil unless she fights as she's told to... even though Adora, as an orphan, never had a choice in being from the horde. This is an emotionally hurtful failure to Adora as a friend, (Glimmer) and as a mother (Angella).

::This is also the beginning of a series of failures, one which ends with everyone being hurt, because of Adora’s betrayal of being a hero of love, in what could be considered a butterfly effect-

-> Adora takes the hurtful, close minded black and white view of morality of the rebellion, and applies it to her relationship with Catra- she ignores their intimate history and her promises, and implies that Catra must be evil like Shadow Weaver at multiple intervals following her defection. That is a failure of love, and of their lifetime of their intimate friendship with each other.

Catra had been hurt her whole life, she watched as Adora turned from her as a friend to be the enabler of their abuser. She's had enough of being hurt in this way, and Adora isn't even making an effort to understand why Catra feels so hurt by her actions. So, Catra wants to be free of Adora, who hurts her.

Catra fails Adora as a friend- ending the generosity of love we see her have in ep1-2, that she kept giving despite Adora being so hurtful towards her. Catra is done with Adora’s double standards, she agrees to fight the war against them all, since Adora so seemingly wants it as part of her new life and a 'destiny' which ends up being fake, anyways.

And so, the rebellion's close minded views creates Adora’s failure to Catra, Catra goes to war against them, and so, the one enemy they simply cannot defeat is created by their own close minded views that the forced on Adora...

The rebellion fails Adora -> Adora fails Catra (plus all of her former friends) -> and in reverse, Adora fails ALL of them -> rebellion alike, by failing to make the choice of love, of trying to make an effort to preserve her and Catra’s love, she turns Catra against them all with her lack of faith in their love, choosing to act hurtfully instead. It is a failure of being the hero of love that Etheria chose Adora to be...

A chain reaction that starts with Glimmer and Angella’s own hurtful views ends with EVERYONE being hurt- it amplifies the war, because, Adora is at the center of all that happens, and isn't being the hero she should be... you could ever say it causes a butterfly effect...

Still, Adora had a choice to be better.

Just like she had a choice to stand up to Shadow Weaver in the horde. Just like she had a choice to not turn on everyone in her old life, judging them in such hurtful ways, while never looking to help them. And, just like she had a choice to value her and Catra’s love, and through seeing how her actions hurt their love, seen that the duty she was so blindly devoting herself to was wrongly making her hurt people that deserved better from her.

Adora in s1 has so little emotional presence to be able to see her own hurtfulness- it's due to how she was hurt- that she places her concept of duty so far ahead of love that she can't even see the value of a lifelong relationship of love she had with Catra. Why would Catra think Adora cares about her, when she so casually betrays her, infers evil upon her, implies that Catra must be like their abuser ?

If, Adora was a more emotionally present person, she would have recognized that she needed to find a better way that didn't just brutalizing everyone from her previous life. And the rebellion itself doesn't help her, they just place their unfair expectations upon her. Her trauma makes it hard for her to see why love is important- she can hardly see the bond of love that she has with Catra... so, she doesn't choose love out of false belief in duty and fails to be the hero she's meant to be.. and everyone suffers for it.

In the end, Angella and Glimmer are not in themselves blameless for creating the situation they face with Catra’s determined war against them, because as leaders of the rebellion, they had been failing the vulnerable people in the horde all along.

As the saying goes, hurt people hurt other people. It's true in life and it's true in SPOP. Mostly people hurt each other because of trauma, and in SPOP everyone's trauma adds to the sadness of the war they fight for 4 seasons, horde and rebellion alike, not just Catra... or Adora. It's not the war they needed to fight, it never was, and as such they are all mostly caught unawares when their mistakes in this way results in Horde Prime finding them- ie- the true enemy they all should have been preparing to face...

... Which, it must be acknowledged, results from Glimmer's choice of trying to use a despicable super weapon to win a war- one in which her own bad attitude hurtfully influences Adora and therefore helped to amplify. Glimmer's act nearly destroys them all, while exposing their location to their true enemy all along...

Glimmer’s naive decision results in so much disaster that it really makes you wonder if the rebellion ever deserved to win the war with the way they conducted themselves...

I'd argue no…

Glimmer’s act, and how the princesses are caught so unaware of their true enemies- (ie, Horde Prime and the First Ones) shows them to be so naive that they likely would have inadvertently activated the Heart in time, and thus destroyed themselves, anyways.

They failed to be better, acting in way that added further trauma to the system. (..this is likely really a commentary on the chaos of war in general) And, the princesses really have NO excuse for being caught so unawares like they were- they don't know their own world's history- there's no real excuse for this. Especially when we see that it was indeed possible- Shadow Weaver uncovered much of it as part of her evil plans to attain more power. (Shoutout to Bow’s dads, who made a heroic effort to understand it, while starting from scratch- 🥰)

Add to this that Glimmer’s corrupted choice to activate the heart happens much as a consequence of her listening to, you guessed it, Shadow Weaver, and we have all the proof we need that the princesses don't understand their own “hubris”.

Long story short, everyone messes up the first 4 seasons, nobody is being their best- and so, Adora has to go to great lengths and great personal risk to herself to repair all of their previous mistakes during her s5 arc. She does this in a very beautiful way- she does it through the power of her love- *not* out of destiny, or duty, or even sacrifice. (Part 3)

Adora was always a hero of love, love IS her power, and she should have seen it sooner. Trauma is what blocked her.

A bit of sympathy for Adora:

Even though I'm talking about how she's wrong, Adora constantly found herself unfairly forced into bad situations by others' expectations put on her, some of which are evil, others are at the least unfair and corrupted by hurt. So, she ends up making some wrong choices… yet she's She-ra, she's still got to be better than that.

And Adora shows great courage in getting free of her trauma cycle to trust in the power of love instead of duty, like she was always supposed to do. How she gets past this trauma mentality is by simply learning to reconnect to her best self- and her deepest feelings of love and generosity that she was chosen to be a hero for by Etheria.

... Nevermind the First Ones-- Adora was still chosen by Etheria, as she was as a loving child, before Shadow Weaver ever managed to hurt her and make her into something else.

And, Adora finds this truth within herself with almost no help from anyone with her best interests at heart- Angella tries her best for ~3 minutes in the portal reality, to make up for her own hurtfulness towards Adora. (..Bow and Glimmer do help her some, but are very much involved in their own concerns..) Adora is a hero, but not by destiny… love is her truth.

Now... Adora’s burden as She-ra is indeed incredibly unfair on a personal level, yet as She-ra, she's still got to be able to make the right choices to be able fix the big problems she faces, and making those choices must be guided by love, not by destiny or duty.

So it doesn't matter that she's not responsible for the First Ones original evil, for which she was innocently born into- Adora simply won't quit trying to make it better, because that's who she is at heart. Trying to make things better is always a core motivation for Adora, even though she broke her promise of love to Catra. Love was always her guide, and her strength, that's why Etheria chose her, and in late s4 into s5, we see Adora begin listening to her truth of love.

So, Adora’s hurtfulness with Catra from s1-4 is just the most obvious symptom of how she's struggling with a trauma mindset that blocks her from being the true hero she's meant to be. This means that Adora and Catra's relationship issues and separation was always the real story of Adora's hero's arc, because Adora failed to look deeper and save their love because to her flawed concept of duty.

Being that hero requires not surrendering her reason to false judgements which require her to be hurtful to people who deserved her love and understanding, never mind if Catra makes everything worse with her own hurtful reactions. Adora always needed to be better than that, and being able to be so understanding of the moral complexity of their situation isn't easy, but, she learns to do it. Again, Catra isn't She-ra: Adora is.

::So, SPOP is one big story about people learning to not let their shitty attitudes control them, and of getting past them in order to become better people. Adora had a bad attitude in s1: it made everything worse, she turned on her former friends because of it. Catra’s attitude might be the worst of them all, but they all learn to be better- Glimmer, Angella, Mermista… the list goes on. Everyone needed to be better, and in s5 they are- it's what gives them the power to overcome Horde Prime together.

... Adora rescuing Catra is such an important part of her hero’s arc because of how she is a hero of love, but it's also important because she's making up for her previous mistakes of passing hurtful and false judgements unfairly upon her former friends... and against Catra. We also see Adora’s true powers emerge as she saves Catra, because she's trusting in love...

Speaking of Save the Cat… (part 4)

Still, if you're at all doubting that Adora struggles with being a false hero from s1-4, it's all well confirmed as Adora faces Horde Prime during Save the Cat in order to save Catra…

When Adora shows up to save Catra, and to save their love, Horde Prime pits chipped Catra against Adora, making her play out their entire history of hurting each other for false reasons in order for her to save Catra. This is meant to be a sly and forceful character assasination by Prime of Adora as a false hero, and as a bad friend. He wants Adora to feel weak, that her failures as a hero are so total, and her lack of love so hurtful, that it's much too late for her to fix her mistakes.

Because of his belief, he really isn't expecting Adora to succeed… yet, he doesn't know that Adora has found her truth of love…

He starts out by calling Adora a false hero, rubs it in that she's a First One, part of an evil empire that he easily defeated. And then, as she battles against chipped Catra, he tells her “you will destroy the ones you love in the process.”

This is supposed to be a scathing rebuke of Adora’s actions through s4. One where Adora, and the princesses at large, played into the hands of the First Ones manipulations, where she willingly hurt Catra in the name of her false destiny.

He reminds Adora of all of her failures, and how as a First One she's from an evil race of beings, she's totally at his mercy, just like the She-ra’s before her. He throws Catra at her, tauntingly, offering the chance for her to kill Catra, like she tried to do before in the service of Glimmer and Angella's corrupt expectations that she deliver them from the horde at any cost to herself.

Moments before Glimmer destroys the server, and Adora and Catra get their chance to talk, Prime rubs it in just how much Catra had to suffer for her sacrifice to protect Adora- “she was scared in the end, and she suffered”. A cruelty Catra shouldn't have had to suffer, but for Adora’s long standing history of betraying her for false duty.

Adora tells Catra she's not giving up on her, something she did through the first 4 seasons of SPOP with her blind righteousness towards Catra, never stopping to consider how she herself might have been wrong, instead stubbornly trying to enact her false destiny.

Prime compels Adora- it's too late, the damage is done, he's all but assured to win. She is behind enemy lines, and weak.. “then you are a fool, you cannot stop Horde Prime… he will reign triumphant… it is destiny”.

Her and Catra finally get to talk to each other when the server is destroyed, and as Catra reaches out, nearly taking Adora’s hand, wanting to go home again, he steals it away and taunts Adora one more time: “some creatures are destined only for destruction”- like it always was… Catra was meant to fail from the beginning, to die. And Adora was the tool of her abusers, she threw Catra aside as part of their evil plan to make her fail for their corrupt purposes. He sends Catra plummeting to her near death..

Clutching Catra’s dying body to her chest, Prime tells Adora “it did not have to be like this”. He's telling Adora that it never had to be like this, all of her betrayals of Catra, her struggles in vain against her false destiny, were done in a naive blindness that only ever made everything worse.

Everyone was made to suffer because of her naive belief in that 'destiny', she's failed, and if she's lucky, perhaps Prime might save Catra. By submitting to his will, maybe she can spare Catra her death... or if not... perhaps Adora can at least forget her mistakes like Catra has been made to do…

We all know what happens next. Adora is not the naive girl who played by the rules of her abusers, she's stronger within herself and knows she cannot abandon love. She's there for Catra- she's going to find a way to love her better, even if that's hard to do. As she says to Prime: "you miscalculated”.

And luckily for her, Catra, a true fighter for her own sacred life, surviving against a lifetime of death threats and near death experiences, is able to hang on just long for Adora to be able to save her from the brink of death..

None of this makes Catra’s actions during the war ok, but keep in mind that Catra shows great remorse for all of her mistakes. She's learned her lessons, too… and her remorse and then total confession of love hints that Catra never did what she did as part of wanting to hurt Adora..

Still… what really makes Catra fight against Adora like she does? After all… she had a choice, too, just like Adora did... (part 5)

Catra could have chosen to sympathize with Adora's views at the battle of Thaymore, after all, Adora was clearly right that what was happening to the civilians was wrong, yet Catra didn't.

As it so turns out, Catra isn't very impressed by some suffering of people who have lived their whole lives more privileged than she has, not when every day of her life had been a crime- surviving against abuse and torture with nowhere to run or anyone to turn to, Adora included.

Her life was that of an orphan, singled out for total destruction by their abuser, and as an orphan, the only way Catra knew for sure she could get free of that was through her own actions. She can't rely on anyone liking her or helping her because of innate magical powers like Adora does.

So, putting her life in the hands of the people who have only ever seen her as an enemy makes no sense, she's been hurt too many times before, including by Adora herself, to take Adora’s word for it.

But, she at least hoped that Adora would have chosen her out of love. Adora's willingness to abandon Catra so totally, and then continuing to behave so hurtfully in all of their further meetings, seems to tell another story.

All of Catra’s anger, and her worst actions through s4 can be summed up in one thing, of which never had to do with her wanting to hurt Adora:

Catra believes that she is totally alone in the world against her abuser, that nobody else properly sees Shadow Weaver's evil or will deal with it. And so it's up to her to do what must be done.

Everyone around her is an enabler in some way: Hordak didn't care to take a role in the Horde's everyday, only cared about results. Glimmer and the princesses become the worst kind of enablers of Shadow Weaver from s3 onward by taking her in, giving her total freedom in all but name. (And then there's the matter of Glimmer letting Shadow Weaver channel her power in s3ep4, which she uses to torture and nearly take Catra’s life yet again...)

But the saddest example is how she thinks Adora is a naive enabler who will never learn any better. Catra feels that way because of Adora's hurtful behaviors towards her, and how Adora couldn't even choose Catra out of love, instead vilifying her and hurting her as part of her false belief in duty.

She's wrong about this- Adora sees Shadow Weaver’s evil, too, she just doesn't know what to do about it. Adora had hoped that leaving her old life behind would free her from Shadow Weaver's corrupt influence over her, and yet... we see Adora struggle with how she was hurt right up until the end. Still, if she had just had one decent talk with Catra, it could have cleared up so much hurt between them so much sooner. (but they never did...)

Adora, as we see her in ep1, is a person that is so incredibly naive that Catra doesn't even need to feel that Adora ever intentionally enabled- Adora's blind devotion to Shadow Weaver's plan, followed by total willingness to abandon their fight against their abuser, while instead assuming evil upon Catra while hurtfully lumping Catra in with said abuser, means, as far as Catra could tell, that Adora was never going to choose to help her at all.

Adora’s behavior in the horde was so atrociously bad, that her continued hurtfulness after leaving seems to confirm Catra’s worst fears: that Adora really didn't care about her, and only cared about her duty.

If true, Adora having had no plan to help her would have made Adora's continued naive enabling of Shadow Weaver a clear and present danger to Catra's life. Was playing the favorite to their abuser really Adora's only plan? Would she have just continued to enable Shadow Weaver right up until she pulled off whatever betrayal she had for the two of them, killing Catra, or them both? It sure would seem so.

Add to this the fact that Adora just ends up having enabled a different evil manipulator as part of her deserting her, and Catra is done expecting anyone to ever help her with the realities of her abuser. If the princesses want to call her evil, while sheltering her abuser and further enabling Shadow Weaver’s evil, she won't feel bad if they all get hurt along the way. And Adora is naive, something Catra makes abundantly clear during their fights.

Catra does a lot of dangerous and hurtful things in the name of this belief. But, this is a trauma state Catra learns to wake up from, because she's lost just like Adora is, and her trauma mentality is destructive to everyone around her.

It leaves her with nothing… no moment of happiness, nobody to call her a friend, a life of absolute loneliness with nothing to live for except her drive to punish her abuser at any cost, with little to no chance of forgiveness for her violence. She learns every lesson the hard way- that no matter how much your abusers continued existence hurts you, there's simply some things you just do not do… you're no good to anyone if you surrender your heart to that kind of anger.

Catra does show deep remorse for all of her worst actions. And, she's lucky that Adora saves her. (even if she's a bit pissed at Adora for risking herself like that… 🥺😥)

But, in regards to whether she's abusive… in s5 we don't see that. Catra does act out a little bit while coming to terms with why Adora saved her- she didn't think she would ever get a second chance. From that moment onward we only see love and devotion from Catra, she doesn't want to live in her hurtful ways anymore, even if she still has no idea how to feel safe with her abuser running wild (Adora does see and her best to protect Catra from Shadow Weaver in s5). Catra can't keep living like she was, so living to help Adora makes much more sense.

My final appeal to people who have a hard time accepting Catradora… (part 6)

:: We should all strive to not let our personal hurt block us from appreciating people's situations, and understanding them. I know it may seem like I'm targeting Adora harshly, but that's why I went to such lengths to show how her issues play out in the narrative. Adora struggles to be her best self, like Catra does, and accepting this about her doesn't mean we need to love her any less than we already do!

Adora is absolutely precious, as is Catra… they never should have been hurt like they were- Adora as the ‘hero’ and Catra as singled out for destruction because of how she loved Adora.

They were always sweet girls, like the innocent and loving children we see them as in their earliest memories, before that day when Shadow Weaver hurt them so badly.

The beautiful love we see between them in s5 is what they always deserved- they should have been allowed to grow up with innocence and then fallen in love, but instead they got hurt because of the corrupt intentions of others.

They both spend the arc of the series trying to get past how they've been hurt, to get back to each other. And how they do that is by remembering the way they loved each other before Shadow Weaver was ever able to hurt them so much and drove them apart.

That, was always their truth, their love is good and pure like it is in those childhood memories. They were always supposed to love each other, and their division was a mistake that happens out of how Shadow Weaver and others have hurt them.

Both of them show tremendous courage in working hard to be able to step past how trauma controls them to be better, it's not just Catra who has to do this.

Adora does, too, because she's got to trust in love, not duty or destiny or sacrifice to be incredibly strong in the ways she needs to be to do the really scary things she has to do- such as stopping the Heart, and of solving a millennia old war that was never her fault, plus more. Love was always what makes Adora strong enough to do the very hard things which she has to do.

When Catra is given a second chance in s5, she sees that Adora is being hurt, and how nobody really helps her… they just expect her to do whatever has to be done. And that's wrong, because it’s unfair and it hurts her. Catra knows Adora has been hurt all of her life, she just didn't realize how much...

Catra may have been made to suffer because of Adora, but she survived that, and so she heals herself to be free of it as best she can in s5. And, Catra realizes she can help Adora, really really help her, to do the very hard things that are expected of her… Catra puts everything she has into helping Adora in s5. It's what Catra always thought she'd do, as the wiser child that knew how evil the world really was. She just got all mixed up inside, fearing that Adora would never really love her… and that was wrong of her.

Catra isn't really expecting redemption.. or even for Adora to return her feelings of romantic love back to her in the same way that she feels. She's a bit a of a pessimist, and has been left waiting her whole life to see someone show care and real love to her... But, all she has left is her love for Adora, and so she gives everything she has to her.

I think that's really courageous of her, and when she sees Adora is failing in the Heart chamber, she makes a dazzling series of romantic moves during the dream and the kiss- to show Adora that she's loved, that she's wanted, and that she's not alone. Brave, romantic moves which Catra didn't know for certain that Adora would reciprocate, but... she was still willing to do it, she loves her too much to let Adora fail, and die, while feeling so scared and alone. So, Catra does everything she can think of to let Adora know that she's loved. Catra deserves some credit for that.

We see that it works, as Adora has always loved her, too. Adora was just too blocked from expressing her love by her trauma. And Adora’s final test, as a hero of love, is quite simply to accept that she can be loved, not as a hero, but for who she is...

... I don't know what else to say to anyone who can't accept their love, or at least I won't here. I think it is the most beautiful love story I have ever seen.

In large part this is because it's not simplified. Catra and Adora’s love isn't just assumed to be kismet, they have to work hard to be together. They are both really bad communicators, and had to learn to talk to each other. This is true with most relationships, and in doing so they become truly loving partners to each other.

... So, it might have been nice if there had been enough time for Noelle to give us even one more kiss between them... but, I think Noelle wanted to tell us a very mature, grown up story about overcoming adversity to embrace love. And I think that's really commendable of them.

Sorry that took so long… Anyways, Catradora is the best ship, I don't make the rules! 😅🚢 ✨ I realize I won't be able to convince everyone, but that kiss was beautiful, was it not?? So, I hope my words aren't a total loss, and that maybe I can convince just a few people to feel like I do.

Love is power. 💞🏳️‍🌈☺️

:: Hi!! - I will gladly answer anyone's questions, and feel free to let me know what you thought of this. Thank you.

Also, if you've read this far, thank you for that- if you enjoyed it please consider giving it a ✨reblogg✨ or a like!! *humble thanks 🙇*

Peace and Love,

~EtheriaDearie 🕊

Some final notes:

Yes, I do realize these are fictional characters, but it's easier to talk about them this way- they are the nuanced creations of very creative people, meant for us to enjoy… in that way they might as well be real, because they have so much to teach us-

Got time to read something short (yes I mean it!!) that's mostly pictures? Check out this cool theory about Adora's dream it's real quick!! 💞🏳️‍🌈

-all hyperlinks are on tumblr. Here's a list of my other analyses-

LotFP = Legend of the Fire Princess. It's canon, important, a whole lot of fun, and worth checking out!! 10/10 😉

-note: I will not use the term 'toxic' because of how I feel the word carries cultural connotations which detract from discussion. However, discuss as you wish! I have no issue with the word or the concept, I just seek to be very clear in my meanings -

Finally, here's a link to a YouTube video of Adora saying Catra's name (fast forward to 0:40). You can really hear how her tone changes through time, in particular in s3 right before Catra pulls the switch, as Adora is coming to terms with her mistakes as She-ra. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f_WRT3D3n_I

youtube

#she ra #she ra and the princesses of power #spop #she ra meta #catradora #she ra spoilers #adora #catra #my writing

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ginnympotter · 3 years

Text

call it even

Chapter 2: for old times’ sake

A/N: uhhh so spoiler or whatever but this has a small amount of pretty mild smut? which i've never attempted i can't believe i'm pressing post on this thing please don't judge me lol you can also read this chapter on AO3

I’m parked between the Methodist and school.

She read the text, looked at herself in the mirror one more time, and braced herself. She took her coat off the hook and as she was zipping it up she heard her mother coming down the stairs. “Ginny, hun, are you going out?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later,” she said, grabbing the doorknob, trying to get out as quick as she could.

But before she could walk out Molly asked, “You know Harry could have come in, right?”

She looked at her mother’s smug smile and groaned. “Goodnight, Mom,” and swung the door shut behind her.

She walked quickly two blocks down, turned right and crossed the street. It was easy to spot Harry’s old truck, not just because there were only 3 other cars parked on that road, but also because it stuck out like a sore thumb, and also was a staple in so many of their memories. She knocked on the passenger side’s window and opened the car door, hopping into the seat. She looked over at Harry to say hi, and saw him smiling. “Hey, thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course,” Harry said as she shut the door. “But why did you make me park two blocks over?”

“Because I didn’t want it to be awkward, with me staying at my parents’ house, but it didn’t even matter because my mom just knew I was going to hang out with you.”

“Molly knows all.”

“Too much.” She looked over at their old high school building, and then at the field they were parked in front of, nostalgia filling her up. “Nice parking spot.”

“It’s weird working at the school we went to. Where those bleachers are,” Harry responded. She felt a tightness in her throat, feeling both excited and uneasy that he was already bringing these types of things up. “Remember how pissed Molly was when we skipped the prom?”

“Thank God she never found us under those,” Ginny heard herself respond. She and Harry looked at one another, twin smirks on their faces. The school bleachers might not be exactly the ideal, romantic place to lose your virginity, but for them it made total sense. She collected herself before her thoughts would get her carried away. “So, um, where to? Everywhere’s closed.”

“Did you eat already?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay, um...maybe we could just drive around for a bit? And then head back to my place for a glass of wine?”

Memories from last year flashed in her mind. She nodded and buckled herself in silently. He started the car, the engine gave a loud and disquieting noise, and then they took off. “I cannot believe this truck is still running.”

Harry lightly tapped the dashboard. “She never lets me down.”

Ginny rolled her eyes and sniggered. She looked out the window as they drove down the roads. “Believe it or not I kind of missed this place. Has it changed at all?”

“The same as it ever was,” Harry responded. “But I know you don’t like it that way.”

His eyes were on the road but she could feel what he meant without seeing his face. “I do, sometimes,” she clarified, hoping he would hear her for what she meant. “Is Dumbledore still principal?”

“Yeah, he is,” Harry told her. “And McGonagall still teaches math.”

“You were always their favorite.”

“Dumbledore’s, maybe,” he shrugged. “But McGonagall? She still goes on about my dad. They have tea together like, once a month.”

“But McGonagall let you get away with basically everything. She was just sly about it.”

“Much to Snape’s chagrin.”

“Oh God, don’t tell me he still works there?”

“Unfortunately.” Ginny blanched, and Harry laughed in appreciation. “He was so pissed when Dumbledore hired me. I just avoid him at all costs.”

“I can’t believe you willingly accepted a job where you have to see Snape every day.”

“I know. It’s worth it, though. I really love teaching,” he said. They halted at a stop sign and he used the opportunity to look at her as he said, “You helped me realize that.”

“I was a great tutee, if I do say so myself,” she smiled. “How about the coaching bit? Did the kids ever recover from their loss?”

Harry drove them around all the backroads as he talked about coaching and working at the school. Much of the anxiety she was holding inside her had slowly melted away as they eased back into their regular rapport. Her heart felt like it doubled in size as he talked about his favorite students (though at first proclaiming, “I don’t play favorites, but…”). He asked her more about life in LA and her first year being a starter.

When they arrived at Harry’s apartment, Ginny hung up her coat and watched as Harry’s eyes not so subtly raked over her body before he turned to his cabinet and took out two wine glasses. She sat in the same spot she did the last time she was on his sofa as Harry listed off various wine options. Harry updated her on all the most recent Tupelo gossip as they drank and reminisced on the different characters they grew up with. Every time he smiled she felt a piece of her heart break, she missed seeing it so much.

Harry must’ve sensed it- or perhaps he heard the crack inside her chest- as one of those times his smile dropped to a frown as he looked at her with concern. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ginny tried, taking the last sip of her wine and placing the glass down on the coffee table. She then noticed the People Magazine cover where she was in a little square on the top right for her interview with them last month.

She picked it up and held it in front of Harry, who suddenly turned red. “Er, I, um-” he stammered, and she laughed.

“Fred and George were just making fun of me for this yesterday at their party.”

“What’s to make fun of?” Harry asked, attempting to recover. “I think you did great.”

“Just a bit corny of a profile, I guess,” she responded. “Can I ask why you have it?”

Harry sighed, giving Ginny a very pointed look.

“What?”

“I have it because I was proud of you,” he replied carefully, taking another sip of his wine. “Is that a bad thing?”

And before she could register exactly what she was saying, the words “You could’ve texted me” flew out of her mouth.

Harry raised his eyebrows. “About the People profile?”

“Sure,” she said. Her brain telling her shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, but her mouth continued. “Or any other time before that. Or after I left this apartment after my brother’s wedding.”

Just as quickly as Harry’s face reddened before, it had now drained of all color. “I, er… I don’t-” he stopped himself, clearing his throat. “You could’ve texted me too, you know.”

“Well, why didn’t you?”

“Ginny,” he said softly, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to do this right now. Can’t we just...enjoy our time together while you’re here? Before you leave in a few days? I don’t want to fight.”

“Why didn’t you?” she repeated, more quietly this time.

“You know why,” he said defiantly, in an equally low voice.

“I don’t, actually.”

He groaned, putting his glass down next to hers before looking at her intensely. He looked tired, sad. “Because the only thing I wanted to text you was to ask you to stay. And I couldn’t ask that; it wouldn’t be right.”

She had an inkling that this would be his answer, but it still felt nice to hear him confirm it. “No, I suppose not.”

“And I wanted to text you so many times after, but… I was too afraid of what I’d say. And then too much time passed, and- I don’t know, I’m sorry, Gin.”

“Are you seeing anyone right now?”

Harry blinked, taken aback by the abrupt question. “No,” he said.

“Neither am I,” she told him, and then moved closer to him, so close that their legs touched. “You’re right, you couldn’t ask me to stay. But… how about I stay the night, and we could call it even?”

It took Harry a moment to register her proposal. When he did, he swallowed, his adam’s apple protruding against his throat. “Are...are you sure?”

She decided then to let go of her inhibitions, to act on impulse and burning desire, and placed herself on his lap facing him, her knees tightly against his hips, her hands meeting on the back of his neck, lightly scratching the bottom of his scalp. “I’m sure.”

Harry took a deep breath. “Right, then,” he mumbled, and then his lips were crashing against hers, and his arms moved her impossibly closer to him. She opened her mouth and his tongue swept atop hers; Harry moaned as he did it, as Ginny moved her fingers through his hair and pressed her chest against his. They kissed passionately, slow and hot, then fast and urgent, then slowly again. They fell back into their rhythm seamlessly.

When Ginny pulled away to kiss his neck, Harry’s voice was raspy. “Fuck,” he exhaled. She moved her tongue lightly along his collar bone, up the side of his neck, and to his ear as she ground herself more firmly on his growing erection. He groaned, moving his hands to Ginny’s ass and cupping it. “Fuck,” he repeated. “I missed this. I missed you.”

She was too stimulated to think too much about his words for too long, but nevertheless, they still caused her heart to lurch. And hearing Harry express himself- even just the slightest showing of vulnerability from him- always turned her on even more. She blew hot air on his ear, nibbled on the lobe, and then pulled away to take off his sweater. He smiled in a daze as she got the sweater off of him and discarded it. He didn’t waste another second before throwing off his T-shirt (his glasses momentarily getting caught in the process) and then doing the same to her, so he could have the next several seconds to unhook her lacy blue bra and let it drop to the floor. He leaned back and admired the view of her chest, then glanced up at Ginny before touching her. She gave a quick nod and he let himself feel her breasts in his hands again for the first time in almost a year, massaging them gently, then with more power. Ginny felt herself grow hotter just watching how Harry responded to her. He leaned in and took her right breast in his mouth, using his fingers to play with her left nipple in the way that always drove her mad. She allowed herself to enjoy it fully, moaning as she pleased, arching into him, pulling at his hair as he switched from one to the other.

Before long it was too much, and she grabbed his face and disconnected his mouth from her chest so she could kiss him again. She felt her lips tingle with the touch of his tongue, her skin burn as his hands moved to her back, running down slowly to her waistband, reaching under her pants to touch her bare ass, squeezing and spreading her cheeks gently. God, she loved when he did that. After she kissed him thoroughly enough, and her pants felt too wet to wear anymore, she moved to undo Harry’s belt buckle, which in turn encouraged him to unzip her jeans. She removed herself from him so they could remove what was left of their clothes. Seeing how hard he was for her, full and bare, made her weak in the knees yet simultaneously at her most powerful. She pushed Harry back down on the couch, let her knees give in to the floor, and cupped his balls. “Ginny-” Harry grunted, but before anything else could come out of his mouth she took him in her own, licking up his length, sucking gently as she bobbed her head up and down.

It was only around thirty seconds later that Harry stopped her, pulling her head off of him. “Wait, wait, stop-”

Immediately, she felt embarrassed. “Was that...ok?”

“Oh, God, Ginny, of course, it was more than ok, it was fucking amazing but...but I want to help you out first. Please.”

“Harry, it’s fine-”

“No, please,” he said earnestly. “I want to. I really want to.”

She let go of him and nodded wordlessly. He helped her up, laid her down on the couch, and kissed her gently. He then whispered, “Let me make you happy.”

“You always make me happy,” she whispered back. His features changed from eager to wistful. He kissed her again, much more firmly this time, and then worked his mouth from her neck along her body, over each breast, her stomach, the inside of her thighs, before he reached his final destination. Ginny closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh as he pressed his tongue up and down against her clit.

She didn’t have to think or speak or do anything; Harry knew exactly the way she liked it, no matter how much time in between their sexual activities passed, he never lost track of exactly what made her scream, what made her shake in ecstasy, as she did only a few minutes after he began. As she came down from her high, Harry kissed his way back up her body, until reaching her cheek, which he kissed delicately. “You feel good?” he asked hoarsely.

“Mm,” was all she could respond in the moment, panting from pleasure still.

He chuckled sweetly, kissing her cheek again, then her forehead, then her lips. Once her breathing had steadied somewhat, she heard him speak again. “What else do you want?”

“To fuck you,” she breathed out.

Harry moaned at her words as he pushed his tongue back into her mouth, the vibrations sending tingles down to her toes. “Do you want to move to the bedroom?”

“We can go to your bed for round two,” she told him, smiling widely. “But round one is happening right here, right now on this couch.”

“If you insist,” he said hoarsely, moving over her, wasting not another second. They had already lost enough time.

***

Behind her eyelids, Ginny could feel the light pouring into Harry’s bedroom. She felt a twinge of joy as she moved her arms to find Harry’s torso, but all she could find were the sheets. She opened her eyes and saw that his side of the bed was empty. Her stomach fell as she scanned the room for him. She sat up and heard a bit of clanging around in the kitchen. The bedroom door was half-open. She rose from the bed, opened the drawer where Harry kept his t-shirts, and threw his go-to blue tee over her head. She stepped out of his room and walked down the hall to find Harry, wearing only a pair of boxers and his glasses, his hair as messy as ever, pouring an omelet onto a plate with expert ease.

“Morning,” she said quietly.

He turned to look at her and grinned, looking her over. “Morning. Nice shirt.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you alone in there. I just wanted to make you breakfast.”

“That’s sweet, Harry.” She went to sit at the island and he waved his hands. “No, no, not here!”

“Excuse me?”

“Breakfast in bed ,” he clarified. “I’ll bring it in, you go relax, I just am finishing up on the home fries and then I’ll bring it right in.”

“You sure?”

He waved his spatula in the direction of his room. “Go on, now!”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him fondly before turning around and heading back down the hall. “Fine, but I’m using your bathroom first.”

“Do what you must.”

After using the toilet and brushing her teeth, she settled back into Harry’s bed and scrolled through her phone. Only a few minutes later, Harry entered with their plates, handing one to her and planting a tender kiss on her forehead. Her insides melted at the gesture. She softly thanked him, scooted over and dug in. Harry sat on his side but at the foot of the bed, his legs folded and his plate on his lap, that way he could face her. They ate in silence, exchanging occasional grins. She felt slightly distracted by his shirtless form and the way their feet touched. When she finished she handed Harry her plate. “That was delicious, thank you. Compliments to the chef.”

“My pleasure,” he told her. “I like cooking for people.”

“Perhaps if this teaching thing doesn’t work you can go to culinary school.”

“I know you’re joking, but I’d honestly consider it,” he said as he stacked their empty plates and leaned over to put them on his bedside table. He then sat beside her and grabbed her hand, interlacing their fingers. “What would you like to do today? That is, if you don’t have any other pressing plans…”

“I do have a hot date or two lined up, but I could always reschedule them for next year,” she joked.

“How kind of you,” he replied, picking up her hand and kissing it. Ginny was finding it hard to control herself with all the seemingly small, natural affection he was showing. “But really, anything in mind?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, I thought maybe we’d sleep in half the day- just for old times’ sake?”

Harry chuckled, glancing at the clock. “It’s already 10am. You want to go back to sleep?”

“Well, maybe not right away,” she said, lacking subtlety. “Thought we could do something to tire us out first.”

“Hmm,” Harry pretended to think. “What could that be?”

She grabbed him by the neck and kissed him, and he sighed, using his free hand to cup her face. After kissing each other sweetly for a minute or two, Harry let go of her hand to grab her and pull her onto his lap. He quickly realized that other than his shirt she wasn’t wearing anything else at all, moaning as he grabbed her ass. He deepened the kiss and Ginny became wrapped up in its intensity, returning it right to him, her hands wrapped up in his hair. Although her body was in the driver’s seat, her mind and heart were racing, thinking about how much this man meant to her, how much she felt like herself when she was with him, how much he made her feel like she could do anything. She cherished every second she could steal with him, before all she’d have is memories to replay until the next time, cementing the feel and the taste of him into her brain. She didn’t want it to ever end.

But not before long, Harry seemed to slow down, and then he pulled away altogether. When Ginny leaned back in to continue the kiss, he barely reciprocated.

“Harry?” she asked, breathing heavily. “Are you okay?”

He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, I…” He looked at her and she could see the storm of emotions in his emerald eyes. He leaned his head against hers and exhaled. “I’m fine. But...can we pause this for a moment? Can we talk?”

A wave of dread washed over her as she nodded her head and removed herself from his lap. Sensing her tension, Harry grabbed her hand again, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. “What is it?” she asked reluctantly.

He inhaled deeply, his forehead creased. “When you leave later today, I… I don’t want it to be like last time.”

“Well, that’s easy then,” Ginny told him, attempting a smile. “All you have to do is text me when I land back in L.A. this time.”

“And what would that imply, exactly?” Harry questioned. “Me texting you, that is.”

“It-” but Ginny realized she didn’t really have an answer- or, at least, she couldn’t give the answer she really wanted. “It would mean that this wasn’t just some meaningless thing to you.”

Harry frowned, tilting his head to the side slightly. “Is that what you really thought? Or what you’ll think if you leave later?”

Ginny considered his question. “I suppose not.”

“Of course not,” he corrected her, speaking with conviction as he squeezed her hand. “Ginny… I still-”

“Stop,” she interrupted him. “Don’t say it.”

She wanted to hear him say it, of course she did, but she would never be able to leave if she let him continue. She felt her heart break a bit at Harry’s disappointed expression. “What do you want me to say then?” he asked, his voice quiet but his tone stabbing. “That I don’t care about you? That I don’t miss you? That I don’t think about you every time I try to date someone else? I’m sorry if that’s hard for you to hear, but I have to tell you, I can’t even fathom you thinking for even one second that anything between us could ever be meaningless to me. I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I don’t know how to do this.”

“No,” she said as she put a hand on his leg. She couldn’t take it anymore. He was right, hearing all of that was too hard for her. Knowing the feelings are mutual “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… The meaningless thing was an overreaction, alright? I know… we’ll always mean so much to each other.”

Harry sighed, closing his eyes, his thinking face on. Ginny knew that face too well, and she knew he was trying to work out in his mind how to phrase all his feelings. “I just don’t understand why we gave up two years ago. We did long distance from your senior year in high school through all of college and it was fine. I didn’t want to break up. But you were so insistent that this is what was best once you got a spot on the team and I didn’t want to feel like I had to persuade you to stay together and I just…”

Ginny’s heart dropped into her stomach. There was such an ache in his voice… it hurt her to hear. “I don’t know, Harry, I thought… I thought I was doing the right thing,” she settled on. How could she explain giving up on them to him? To herself? “College was one thing, but as working adults? It just felt like we’d never be in the same place, we’d never be able to actually spend time together… I didn’t want to hold you back. I didn’t realize you…that you would’ve… I thought we were on the same page, I’m sorry.”

“No, I should’ve fought harder for us,” he told her, eyes blazing. “It’s not too late, is it?”

Ginny exhaled as Harry squeezed her hand again. “Harry, I can’t stay here-“

“I’m not asking you to.”

“Well, I can’t ask you to wait for me. I don’t know what’s going to come with my career.”

“I don’t care how far apart we are,” he asserted. “I don’t want to be with anyone else- I’ve tried, and I’m sure you have too, but we always end up back here, don’t we? I want to be with you. We can figure the rest out as we go. It’s us, you know?”

He smirked at the end of his sentence, and all the feelings she’d been holding in for two years seemed to boil over at once. God, she missed that smile. The same smile as the one she dreamed about every day when she was only 11 and he spent every summer day over at their house with Ron. The same smile that he gave her after their first kiss, and after they skipped the prom and hid out under the bleachers, and when he came home to visit from college for the first time, and when he visited her in her dorm, and when he saw her standing in her bridesmaid dress at Ron and Hermione’s wedding, and then when he took it off of her later that night, and when they bumped into each other at the airport a few months ago, and just last night as she curled up against him in his bed and kissed him goodnight.

Tears warned to spill over, and she cursed herself for blinking one free. Harry put a hand on her face and wiped it for her with his thumb. He looked deeply into her eyes, which only caused more tears to fall. He wiped another for her, and then he kissed one away, and then he kissed her lips so gently she could barely register it.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, a hint of desperation in his voice for some type of answer.

She looked away from him, staring down at their knees. “I still don’t know, Harry. I’m confused. Everything you’re saying… I want that, I do, but it just doesn’t… seem practical. And… I mean, if we did get back together, what about everything after that? Do you want to stay in Tupelo forever?”

“Not necessarily,” he responded flatly. “I love my job now but I don’t know if I’ll still want to be here in a few years… But do we need to be making those types of decisions now?”

“Well if we don’t, then what? We get back together and three years down the line we break up because we realize we’re still not on the same page? I don’t want to waste either of our time.”

Harry let out a defeated sigh, causing Ginny to look up again. The fire in his eyes was being stomped out by disappointment. “Gin, listen… all I know is that ever since I was sixteen all I’ve wanted is to be with you, whatever it took to make that happen. That hasn’t changed, not one bit, even nine years later. I know we can make it work. If it’s not what you want… I don’t want you to be with me if you aren’t fully in it. But I want to be in your life. I don’t know what that looks like for you right now, but however it does, I’ll be there. Even if that’s only as your brother’s best friend.” He offered a sad smile as he finished.

But you’re so much more than that , she wanted to say, but felt like that’d just be proving his point, and she still felt too confused and overwhelmed. Selfishly, she leaned in and kissed him, long enough to memorize the feeling for later but quickly enough to prevent any further persuasion from the magic of his mouth. She braced herself for her own heart’s self-destruction as she opened her eyes and said, “I think I should go home, now.”

Harry’s sadness lingered for a moment, before he channeled his expertise of shutting down, his features flickering to blankness. “If...if that’s what you want. Let me drive you home, at least?”

She wanted to say no, that she’d just order an Uber, but her mouth betrayed her. “Ok.”

He let go of her hand and stood up. “I’ll, er, just throw on some clothes real quick, then run and grab yours and leave you to get dressed.”

She nodded and watched him throw on a pair of jeans, an undershirt, a jumper, and socks rather haphazardly. She listened as his feet creaked across the hallway floors, and waited with bated breath as he made his way back moments later, handing her a pile of her clothes. She muttered a “thank you” and averted his eyes as she took them.

“Take your time,” he told her gently, and made his way back out.

The moment the door clicked closed, she clenched her eyes shut and pushed out all the tears she could, so none would escape for him to see when she would have to face him again. She wiped her face and felt the warmth leave her as she got up from his bed, her haven. She threw off his shirt and put on her clothes from the night before, but folded up his t-shirt and stuffed it in her purse. It was an unspoken agreement between them that she could take as many of his t-shirts as she liked; he bought extras just for her.

She looked in the mirror, quickly threw her hair back in a low ponytail, and inhaled deeply, as if the air entering her lungs would give her courage to move forward as she opened up his bedroom door and walked towards the entrance.

Harry had his sneakers on, her shoes lined up and her coat ready for her in his hands. She slipped on her shoes and against her better judgment she allowed him to slip her jacket on for her, arm by arm. She hated the electricity that crackled through their every touch. She did not want to leave, she hated herself for leaving, even.

As if he sensed her self-deprecation, he took hold of her hand after it slipped through the sleeve. “Gin, it’ll be okay.”

She didn’t believe him, of course, it was just his typical optimism in order to protect everyone he loved, Except it made Harry look out for everyone else’s comfort at his own expense.

He grabbed his keys and led them out of his flat. They got into his car quietly. Without taking the backroads, the ride was relatively short, only taking 3 songs on the classic rock station of his ancient car radio to make it back to her home, the Burrow.

He parked right outside, which was a mistake, as her mother was out in the front with their family dog, Pig. She was wise enough to just offer a wave and a smile and resume walking with him.

Harry turned to her and asked in a low rasp, “Can I see you again? Before you fly back? Will you still be at your family’s for New Year's?”

“Yeah, I will,” she told him. “I’ll...I’ll see you there.”

Harry nodded. He clicked the unlock button for the doors. “Just...just think about what I said, alright?”

Ginny swallowed, nodding back. “I will.”

He kissed her cheek, his lips burning against her cold skin, and as he pulled away he leaned over to open her door for her. She attempted a smile in thanks, hopped out of his truck, and closed the door gently behind her.

She didn’t look back as she walked through her lawn, as she heard him call out to her mother, “See you soon, Mrs. Weasley!,” as Pig barked merrily at him and Harry laughed out, “I’ll see you soon, too, Pig!” before driving away.

She was grateful that her mother didn’t pursue her as her legs worked their hardest to get her to the door, through the entrance, and up the flight of stairs to her room, into her own bed, waiting for a sense of safety or relief that never came.

#hp #fanfic #hp fanfic #harry x ginny #harry potter #ginny weasley #hinny #au #alternate universe #modern au #harry potter x ginny weasley #harry/ginny #harry potter/ginny weasley #fanfiction #fan fiction

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angelanimedesaray · 4 years

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Wings in the Dark Chapter 10: Reparations

AN: Yaaaaaayyyyy I got this one done. For some reason I’ve been in a weird spot where I write more on my phone and my focus is better when I write on my phone, but I’m also super vulnerable to typos because AUTOCORRECT and its just harder for me to spot on the smaller screen with the tiny text, so excuse any typos.

Characters: Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Erwin, Petra, Oluo (Mentioned), Eld (Mentioned)

Pairing: (Eventual) Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings: Language. Ikr, we just got super tame after a wiiild ride.

Word Count: 5124

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

“I’ll admit, it would have been nice to know ahead of time that you were going to hijack the interrogation like that to antagonize her.”

Levi ignored the pointed jab at his actions down in the dungeons, gaze instead roaming around and taking stock of the people they past in a surveillance instinct too ingrained into his being by now for him to shut it off even going down the street towards a tea shop.

Considering L/N could hear so far out, even when she wasn’t paying attention, Erwin and Levi had decided to leave headquarters entirely to have this conversation. Which was why they were now headed for a tea shop instead of Erwin’s office to discuss something so confidential. Or at least their opinions on the situation, not necessarily the information itself.

"Did you at least get what you wanted out of it?" Erwin asked as they took seats at one of the outside tables.

"I did. Mostly. You?"

"I was skeptical when you told me, but after that little display of hers, she's clearly not human. Not anymore." Erwin leaned back in his seat and appraised Levi, their conversation pausing momentarily as they placed their order with the waitress that came outside to check on them. Once she went back inside, Erwin continued. "If you have more questions, why didn't you ask them before we left?"

"It had nothing to do with why we were there. Personal curiosity. And it didn't seem like the time to ask."

Especially after he'd goaded her like that, making jabs at painful memories for her until she reacted, throwing harsh accusations at her semi-blindly and seeing if anything stuck. The last thing she would want to do would be to give clarifying details about her past traumas to satiate his curiosity.

Her tale made her origins make more sense, but there were a few details that still weren't so clear to him.

The way she explained it, she was attacked and turned by a vampire the night before--for reasons unknown, he noticed. She hadn't said why she was turned, or by who. She'd actually glossed over that part and moved on--and then went home, not knowing what happened to her, thinking she was sick. Her friend came to visit her, Y/N lost control, attacked and killed her, then fled. He was sure there were details to make the tale far more gruesome, but this was what he knew for sure without letting his imagination run wild.

But then she'd shown up dead a few days later as well. That was the part he was trying to figure out.

“Some deaths, okay, fine, I'll come back from it.”

So, she ran away after the initial panic, and then came back solely to fake her death so they wouldn't keep looking for her.

And by fake her death, she went for a...temporary death, something she would come back from.

But why go so far as to let herself be buried? It was a closed casket funeral, so she could have snuck out before they sealed the casket and no one would have known. Why wait?

He hadn't forgotten the fear and trauma in her eyes when she'd mentioned being buried alive was one of her deepest fears. And now the mental image in his mind of a woman clawing desperately at a coffin, screaming for help while no one could hear her had a face to go with it, the face of someone he knew, no less.

It was humanly impossible to break out of a grave and crawl your way out. But if you had vampire strength, and every time you suffocated from the lack of oxygen or the dirt crushing down on you and maybe even getting into your lungs...then it was possible. So long as you died a few times on the way up.

Shit...something like that had to do some damage to a person.

Not to mention what came after. Forty years living in the Underground, roughly. He'd only been down there a little over half the time she had. And he hadn't spent it like she had--skulking in the shadows killing people because what she was demanded she kill to survive no matter where she was, and she couldn't go above ground not because it was denied to her, but because if she did she would literally die. Yeah, he'd killed plenty of people in the Underground as well, but far less, and for a reason that was entirely different even if it could be worded the same. He killed in fights because the Underground was that dangerous, or he was protecting people he cared about. She had to actively hunt and kill people to...feed.

If she'd been in the Underground before he was even born...he wondered if they had ever crossed paths, and he just didn't remember.

Hell, with her criteria for who she hunted and killed, he was surprised she hadn't killed Kenny in all that time with him Underground.

Or maybe she had, after Kenny left. It wasn't like Levi would know. Though he was fairly certain the man had gone topside, which would mean out of her reach and away from her hunting grounds.

If only there was an alternative to her diet. She’d laid out why it couldn’t be helped, and he understood that, they were good reasons. But still, if there was another way...

“You're thinking about something rather hard over there, Levi,” Erwin commented, and Levi realized he’d been staring intently at the table and had even failed to notice that the waitress was in the process of delivering their tea. Erwin was also watching him, though his hands were still in motion, his analytical gaze fixated on Levi’s still form. Shaken out of his thoughts, Levi leaned back so he wasn’t leaning forward intently anymore, picking up his teacup to start drinking before it got cold. Erwin waited until the waitress left to continue talking. “Is it something I should know about her? Another hunch, maybe? The last one was mostly right.”

Levi snorted softly at that. Mostly right his ass. He’d been thinking murder and treason and assassinations, someone out to get them, someone seeking to harm people in the Scouts. Ulterior motives and selfishness, malice.

Maybe the murder hadn’t been that far off, considering her body count, if he did the math right in his head. And maybe she had been hiding a secret. Perhaps she was dangerous, but so was Levi. It didn’t mean she was an enemy.

“No,” he said curtly, putting an end to Erwin thinking Levi might be holding out on him regarding his suspicions after how off they’d both been about this situation. “Like I said, it doesn't have to do with whether or not she's trustworthy and if she should be in the Scouts. Just personal curiosity.”

“So you believe her? About her intentions?” Erwin asked casually before taking a sip from his cup, eyes cast down as he spoke but flickering up to gauge Levi’s reaction once he finished speaking.

Levi eyed him because of the look on his face, but answered nonetheless. “...I do. She was sincere down there, some would say too honest. Most people try to hide the fact they’ve killed hundreds--thousands--of people, or that they could kill the people who didn’t trust them without blinking an eye, but she was upfront about it. She didn’t have to be. She’s dangerous, that’s a reality no matter how you look at it, but she’s attempting to channel that into helping instead of just causing damage.” Levi sighed, setting down his cup. “I assumed a lot about her intentions and where she came from, and it's going to bite me in the ass.”

And he was probably going to have to put some effort into making amends after all this--especially with how he’d antagonized her down there and clearly crossed a boundary. Several boundaries, actually. And now that the moment had passed, the guilt was starting to settle in. He’d accused her about some harsh stuff, some of which she was sensitive about, given her reactions. She was the one who had to live with what she was, so he doubted someone going after the very things you might cling to in order to retain your humanity was something anyone would take kindly to. After she saved his life--even if it had also been her that had almost killed him to begin with--after she protected him from herself and other vampires, even if he wasn’t aware, after she’d gone out of her way to learn from and appease the entire squad, after going through years of training to get where she was now, after putting so much at risk when she could have stayed safely in the shadows, after trying so hard to find a place topside, he’d jabbed at pretty much everything. Her basic motives, her humanity, her intentions, her personality, everything.

He had a lot of damage control to do moving forward if they were going to keep working together. He sincerely hoped he’d only damaged the well and hadn’t poisoned the water. A damaged well he could fix, but a poisoned water supply…

Levi’s gaze narrowed at Erwin as he realized the other man still hadn’t said anything, his suspicions solidifying.

“What about you? Do you think she’s a risk you’re willing to take?” Levi asked, echoing her words from down in the dungeon Levi had immediately known would catch Erwin’s attention.

“I am a man who likes a good gamble,” Erwin said with a bittersweet smile, resting his cheek on his fist as he considered the situation before them. “As long as she’s not attacking other Scouts, she’s trying to keep her bloodlust under control, she’s not causing problems for or bringing more danger upon the Scouts...I don’t see why we shouldn’t let her stay. From the sounds of it, having a vampire willingly join our ranks wanting to use all those abilities to help our cause is a once in a lifetime chance. She’s offering it on a silver platter. As long as she can keep herself under control, which she’s been able to do so far, I say we take her up on her offer.”

“And if she can’t? If something happens and she loses control?” Levi asked, eyebrows raised. She’d said it herself, she was a threat, there was always a chance something could happen, and that shouldn’t be forgotten. But what would they do if she did slip up with no sign of being able to correct herself before it got out of hand?

“Then she’ll be our responsibility to take care of,” Erwin said evenly, gazing at Levi in a way that made him believe Levi would be the one to take care of her if she stepped out of line. He had the best chance, yes, but it would still be risky. “Hopefully we won’t have to kill her if anything goes wrong, she’s valuable, and it would be a huge setback to lose her vampire abilities...but if it ever comes to that…”

“It won’t be a problem,” Levi said flatly. He meant that in the matter of conflict of interest, not that killing her if it ever came to that wouldn’t be difficult.

Erwin nodded. “She stays in the Scouts, then. I’ll have to factor in all this new information about where best to put her. She probably shouldn’t be anywhere near medical, for her sanity’s sake. And Levi?” Levi fixed him with a stare as if to ask what the hell was up with his change of tone, which Erwin ignored. “Considering the strangling tension between the two of you down in the dungeon, are you going to ease up now that you have the story--for the most part--or do I need to switch her to a different squad?”

Levi scoffed. “I’m not going to apologize for being angry about the fact that she kills people, Erwin.”

“It's not like she has much of a choice, from the sound of it. And she’s doing rather well, given her situation. A lot of thought had to have gone into coming topside and joining the Scouts, how to pull it off. She was ready with those questions, and considering she wasn’t planning on us figuring out what she was, that means she already went over those questions herself. She’s going with what she believes to be the best route, and considering she’s more of an expert on the subject than we’ll probably ever be…”

Levi waved him off--he didn’t need this explanation, he already knew this. She wasn’t going to prey on innocent people, she couldn’t afford to downgrade her diet too much considering she needed to be in peak health and control fighting in the Scouts, and she couldn’t just stop unless she wanted to die a slow and agonizing death.

Starvation over decades, maybe even centuries…

Regular starvation was bad enough, he knew that from personal experience. He couldn’t imagine going out like that--he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Especially self-inflicted.

Levi’s gaze wandered to the few people in the street, moving idly from one person to the next, not really paying them any attention beyond basic people watching as he brought himself to his decision.

While he understood her position, that didn’t mean he was entirely comfortable with it. But was he willing to try and make this work, to keep her on his squad--this time as his decision, not a decision Erwin made in the name of surveillance--and see if things could still work out despite the mess this entire ordeal had turned into that almost ended in his death.

Was it a damaged well, or poisoned water?

Was he going to cut his losses, or try to fix this?

“...Don’t put her on another squad,” he finally told Erwin. “She’ll still have her skills put to the best use with my Squad. I’ll figure out how to deal with...everything.”

He was going to try and make this work, despite the current friction between them.

The only question now, was how?

Erwin was the one to tell L/N that she was staying in the Scouts, of course, and by extension he was also the one to tell her she'd remain on Levi's squad, and that it was Levi's job to keep an eye on her and make sure she stayed in line. As for Levi, it was back to business as usual while Erwin handled speaking with L/N.

And two days later, Levi abruptly decided that everyone was going to do a deep clean of HQ, assigning everyone at least one room, with L/N having two considering how fast and how well she cleaned, and himself having three so that he had plenty of time to think while he was cleaning.

Now that his concerns about betrayal and deceit had been assuaged, he could finally allow the softer sides of her he’d glimpsed to settle in his mind, too. Between the darker side he now had a better picture of and the person he’d been seeing since she joined the Scouts, he could finally form a more complete picture of the new person on his squad and start to decide what he thought of her.

Any lingering concepts in his mind that she wasn’t up to the job went out the window--except for a general concern about her being around too much blood. She hadn’t been in the middle of a truly hairy expedition with people dying left and right. She’d been struggling when he was bleeding out in front of her--what would it be like when there were people dying bloody all around her?

Then again, she’d already pointed out that his blood was particularly alluring.

That was still an odd thing to think about--he was probably going to do his best not to think about it.

He wasn’t too worried about her being able to hand the more...psychological stresses of being a Scout. If she could handle being directly responsible for death, and being around it so much after living in and hunting in the Underground, she might fare better than most in the environment.

If it hadn't been the sharper, harder edge he'd seen to her personality in the dungeon, the knowledge of the things she'd already seen and been through, he'd be worried she had too soft of a temperament and personality for the Scouts. It had been what he'd seen from her before the whole vampire thing came out.

She was the woman who went out of her way to comfort the horses and make sure they knew they could trust her. Who sat in the field with the horses and simply soaked in the sun's rays while drawing whatever she could see--namely horses, at least once the man who had been watching her, yet she never said a word. She was the woman with a tea garden in a hidden corner of the Scout’s headquarters so that she could save more of her salary...and use it to shelter and provide for the parents who didn't know, and would probably never know, they're daughter was still alive. The woman who snuck treats out to the horses from her own plate, who'd gotten at least half of Levi’s squad drinking their tea with a bit of white sage for health purposes--only Levi aware of just how much it was actually doing for them. The one who had asked for a different kind of lesson or tutoring from each squad member so they wouldn’t feel like she was some air-headed newbie that thought she was better than everyone because she was put on a fast track to Levi’s squad fresh out of the cadets, so that they could feel like they were still teaching her something, that she was learning from them. She was the kind of person who made little gestures like covering him with her cloak when she saw him asleep at the table without a second thought, or timing a fresh cup of black tea almost perfectly to help keep him alert when despite his insomnia he would start to feel tired in the middle of the day, who'd risked the loss of a leg to make sure Eld wouldn't get hurt even after Levi killed the Titan, and who had saved his life even though, at the time, doing so was a great risk to her, because he could put a swift end to the life she'd been trying to build above ground.

She was a good person at heart. Complicated as hell, still dangerous and a risk, and she had her skeletons, her demons and dark secrets, her flaws...but still, a good person at heart.

He’d been watching her closely long enough to pick up on all of that and then some, even if he’d tucked most of it away for later evaluation considering at the time he was worried it might be a front for some insidious ulterior motive.

And he had to do something to try and mend the relationship they had. They couldn't function as part of a squad with all this tension and friction, let alone as captain and subordinate, definitely not as a team. There had to be some level of trust if they were going to be working together in the future, and right now, there was pretty much none, mostly because of him. And he had to be the one to make a first step towards repairing the damage that he had inflicted so that they could start building at least the groundwork of a working trust in one another. They would need it when they went out in the field, because all that raw ability meant nothing if they couldn’t function with each other.

Levi scrubbed harder at the stone floor, seeing his fingertips turn pale with the rest of his hands red from the hot soapy water and the pressure he was putting on the brush.

"Captain?"

Levi sighed, leaning back and putting the brush back into the water, turning and lowering the cloth over his face to look over at Petra standing in the doorway with a broom in hand.

"Oluo says he's done with his room, he's just waiting for your inspection," she informed him, though the look on her face was enough to tell him he'd be telling Oluo to do it all over again as soon as he saw it.

"I'll do it when I'm finished," Levi answered, raising the cloth over his face and pulling out the brush to start scrubbing again. "Tell him to make sure he's finished while he waits."

"Yes, Captain," Petra said with a small nod, turning to leave.

"Has L/N finished with her two rooms?" Levi asked before she could leave entirely, focused on a new spot of stone as he spoke instead of looking up at her.

"Yes, sir. She actually went outside, out front, to do some extra cleaning while she waited for you to be ready to inspect the rooms."

She was also really good at cleaning. She had to be, right? She'd lived below ground longer than he had, and her senses were extra sensitive. One bad smell must be torture for her, the dust probably setting off her sensitive nose with the slightest buildup, her sight probably making it easier to pick out grime, and her speed making her a faster cleaner than anyone here--when she didn't have to slow down because she was being watched by someone who didn't know what she was. No wonder she was so damn good at cleaning, why he hadn't found any flaws with it to date.

It almost felt like cheating to him, for some reason.

He pressed unnecessarily hard down on the brush again, feeling the bristles bend and strain slightly in the brush, his fingertips turning pale again.

"Tell her when she's finished with whatever she's doing right now to come up here," Levi told Petra, offering no more explanation as he continued scrubbing at the floor.

“Yes, sir.”

Petra left after that, and Levi focused on the room around him--his third room, mind you, and he was almost done. His hands were red, a little raw, too, but it wasn’t anything serious. He just kept getting lost in his thoughts while he was cleaning, and instead of calming down like he normally did when he cleaned, he’d tense up at those moments where he got lost in his thoughts. He was going over his attempt at a peace offering over and over again, well aware that he wasn’t the best...people person, that communication on a social or emotional level was not his strong suit. But he was hoping the intention behind the gesture would be clear. She wasn’t an idiot--she was smart. There was a decent chance she’d be able to see what he was trying to do.

Hopefully.

Levi was just starting to finish up, finishing with a bit of polish on the metal in the room when L/N finally made her appearance, standing in the doorway with similar cleaning additions to her uniform as him, though she had an apron on that was currently tucked up and into her straps to keep any dirt from falling onto the floor while she walked.

She must have been doing some garden and yard work, then. Pulling weeds or something like that out front. At least she wasn’t tracking dirt everywhere, from what he could see--and his eyes were scanning her and her surroundings carefully to make sure she wasn’t about to ruin his hard work.

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” she asked formerly, keeping her gaze fixed on him instead of letting it wander around the room at anything other than him.

That was a start, at least. He’d be worried this entire rebuilding the bridge thing wouldn’t work out well if she couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

But the tension was still there, thick and uncomfortable, enough to put even him on edge. There was a distance in her posture, a different kind of guarded than when he’d been snooping around and watching her every move. Like she was hyper-aware of what he was going to think of her moving forward.

He was still coming to a decision about that one, honestly.

“You’re going to start training with me,” Levi said with no lead up, causing her eyebrows to raise in surprise, opening her mouth like she was about to ask questions before she quickly closed it again, since he continued to talk as if her reaction didn’t phase him in the slightest or give him any kind of pause. “You’ve got some things to work on before the next expedition. Two lessons a day, sparring and ODM gear. Make sure you make the time for it.”

“Ah, Captain...I’m not sure if I...should…” she said hesitantly, caught between obeying what was close to a command from her Captain and a reluctance to take him up on the lessons because...what, was the tension that bad for her that she didn’t think she could train with him? Did she not want to be anywhere near him any more than she already was? Did she think she would make him uncomfortable? Did she not like the thought of being alone with him?

That was a viable concern, actually.

Or maybe she just thought there wasn’t anything he could teach her.

On the contrary--she’d said herself that she was having trouble with the ODM gear. She’d said one of her risks was that she reacted too fast for the gear to keep up with her, sometimes. That was a problem, especially in a situation where one needed to rely on instincts--how could you rely on instincts while also trying to muffle them to lower to the level of the gear, or nearby people?

She needed help finding the middle ground, or at least training herself to instinctually pace herself so she didn’t outpace the gear in an emergency. Like she’d pointed out herself, that kind of mistake could be the difference between life and death, even for her.

As for the sparring...well, the only people here that came close to matching their skills was each other. Who else were they going to spar besides each other? Besides, it would be refreshing to have someone he could actually go all out on that would be a challenge for him. He was sure the same applied for her, now that she didn’t have to hold back to keep her secret hidden.

If that had been the reason she’d thrown the fight the first time they’d sparred.

Plus, all that raw strength and speed meant nothing if she didn’t know how to use it. He could still teach her things, show her some techniques she could use in a fight, that kind of thing.

Is offer to teach her was his way of offering an olive branch to her...and he didn’t take too kindly to her starting to turn down the offer.

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly at her as she continued to cast about for a solid excuse to turn him down. Most people here would kill for one on one lessons from him--a fact he was well aware of. Yet here she was, proving just how out of the ordinary she was as she seemed to be beyond just the vampire thing, trying to weasel out of it. “What? Don’t think you have anything to learn because you’re so naturally gifted?” he asked in a jab much softer than his accusations during their interrogation.

“No, it’s just…” she started to say with a frustrated sigh, looking over her shoulder like she was looking at someone, even though no one was there. “Eld’s already giving me ODM gear lessons…”

Was that really it? He doubted it. Yes, Eld was teaching her a few things, Levi was aware, but it wasn’t the same as what Levi was offering to teach her. And it wasn’t a reason to turn him down in the first place. Just another excuse. Unless she was really worried about what the others would think if she got not only one daily private lesson with Levi, but two. As much as Levi was usually of the opinion “To hell what other people think,” this one he could see where she was coming from if it was the case. She’d just gotten the others to warm up to her despite their grumbling and cold shoulders after the extremely green rookie got sped through all the tape and obstacles right into Levi’s Squad while they put in hard work and were hand picked by Levi after some time in the Scouts after displaying their own strengths and skills over a period of time. It must have looked like favoritism--and Levi giving her double private lessons wasn’t going to help anything.

It didn’t change the fact that she still needed them or could benefit from them. And that it was a way for them to start making amends...in a roundabout way.

“ODM techniques. Special maneuvers: team and solo, correct?” Levi asked, mostly rhetorically, though she still nodded in confirmation. Levi moved over to the table he was keeping his cleaning supplies on, starting to pack up his things so he could leave to start doing inspections of everyone’s designated rooms. “I’m not going to be teaching you what Eld is. You said you were having problems with reacting too fast for the gear, right?”

Levi spoke pointedly, giving her a sidelong glance so he could gauge her reaction and she could see he was serious about this--and that he didn’t have any ulterior motives. She didn’t protest again. She still looked a little uncomfortable, possibly because of the bump this could cause with the others once they found out, maybe because it meant the two of them were going to be spending more time with one another and they were going to have to get over this tension between them really quickly if they didn’t want to end up at each other’s throats trying to kill each other, but she didn’t protest anymore.

“Four a.m. in the woods for hand to hand. Two hours before dinner on the training grounds for the ODM gear. Don’t be late,” Levi told her, taking his supplies and leaving her behind in the room as his way of dismissing her.

Now to go yell at Oluo for not getting his cleaning job done properly, most likely.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethroughs Couldn’t Be Tagged)

Levi Tags: @humanitys-hottestsoldier @clary-quinn @sunny-flo @whalerus @thirstyforsometea

Wings in the Dark Tags: @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse @subtlepjiminie @hakunamatatayqueen @queenofcurse @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones

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yelena-bellova · 4 years

Text

Fault Line: Prologue - Steve Rogers x F!Enhanced!Reader

Prologue - chapter one

Masterlist

Plot: Y/n’s life is a game of hide and seek and so far she’s beaten everybody. But her winning streak may not last as long as she’d hoped it would.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: OKAY. I have too many fics going at once but I got this idea and couldn’t let it go. I tried writing a Steve x Reader series a while back and it sucked quite frankly, so I spent a little more time developing this one. Steve doesn’t appear in this chapter but plenty of familiar faces do. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! (no beta reader because we die like men.)

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Bosnian winters were brutal. It got down to freezing temperatures, the pavement was iced over, you couldn’t go a day without being hit by a snowstorm…It was by no means remote but if you were hiding from something, not many people thought to look there. Which meant I was safe.

I casually strolled through the crowded Sarajevo marketplace, the only care in my mind being what I should eat for lunch. As soon as I stepped foot into the city, I knew I was on borrowed time. Not that it mattered, quick escapes were my forte. I spotted a falafel stand run by a middle aged man, one of the only stalls I hadn’t stopped at in the last few days.

“Jedan, molim,” I said, smiling sweetly at the vendor as I watched him make the dish. As he prepared to hand me the finished product, I faked innocence and rushed to dig through the empty pockets of my coat. The man handed me the food wrapped in paper and raised his eyebrows expectantly. I looked up from my coat pockets and tilted my head, “Izvini.” Before he could understand why I was apologizing, I was gone…Having vanished into thin air.

When I reappeared, I was no longer in the marketplace. I was outside the abandoned shack in the Bosnian forest I’d been calling home the last couple days. I was living a ways out from the country’s capital so the search for the disappearing woman remained unsuccessful. Triumphant in having scored lunch, I turned on my heels to head inside my temporary home.

I hadn’t expected the dozen armed soldiers with their guns aimed at me.

“You boys wanna come in for a drink?” I quipped in English, gesturing to the front door, “I’m not sure I have enough for everyone but I can pop out to the store and get some more.” “I’d stay here if I were you,” a shadowed figure said from the front porch, “It didn’t take us long to track you and it won’t be hard to do it again.” Americans. In Bosnia. Interesting…

“Mind telling me who the hell you are?” I called, squinting to try and make the voice’s body out.

A man came forward, stepping in between two of the soldiers who still had yet to lower their weapons. He pushed back the hood of his winter coat to show his face, “Agent Coulson, we’re with S.H.I.E.L.D. We’d like you to come with us.” I looked behind and around me, waiting for someone to make a move. “So I’m supposed to just go with a group of soldiers with their guns pointed at my head? Is it that simple, Agent Coulson?” “It can if you want it to be,” he replied, for as threatening as he should have been he wore a small smile on his face, “We’d like to talk to you.” “About?”

“About how someone like you has been jumping from Russia to Colombia without a plane. Or India to Canada. Or Jamaica to Scotland.”

I raised an eyebrow and casually took a bite of the stolen falafel I still held, “So you have been tracking me.” “Miss Y/l/n, it would seem that you’re highly gifted,” Agent Coulson continued, taking a step closer to me, “We’re here to help you, not to hurt you. I’d like to bring you back to headquarters to talk to you about your abilities.” I smirked as I chewed, “I’m not a mercenary that organizations like yours can just hire for an assassination.” “That’s not why we’re here. It’s not what you can do for us, it’s what we can do for you.” “Hmm,” I sarcastically smiled, “And what is it that I’m getting out of going with you?”

“A life where you don’t have to steal baklava for lunch.”

Having lived how I had for so long, I prided myself on my good instincts. There was good, there was bad and every once in a while there was a grey area. A combination of right and wrong that was subjective to each person’s perspective. As my eyes scanned over Agent Coulson, a professional yet non threatening presence, and the soldiers ready to kill me if I dared to fight back, I decided that I had just landed in a very grey area. If I didn’t go with them, I wasn’t sure what they’d do. If I did, I wasn’t sure what they’d ask of me.

Then again, I was a bit of a grey area myself.

I held up my food, “It’s a falafel.”

————

It had been a long time since I’d been back in the states longer than the five seconds it took to steal a bag of Cheetos from a convenience store.

Agent Coulson had deposited me in a stark white interrogation room and promptly left. After the twenty minute mark passed without anyone entering, disappearing and landing in Cairo began to sound more and more attractive. Just as I was seriously considering it, the locked door opened.

“Miss Y/l/n,” a dark skinned man greeted, “You’re a hard one to pin down.” “Really? Cause according to Agent Coulson, it was as easy as breathing for you guys,” I replied, tightening my crossed arms.

“It got easier once we developed the right tech,” he said, coming to sit in the the chair directly across me, “But apparently you’d never heard of us until today ergo you didn’t know we were tracking you which begs the question…Who were you running from?”

“Wow,” I chuckled, “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” “I don’t like to waste time.” I snorted before giving him a once over. He wore an eyepatch, all jet black clothing complete with a matching trench coat. He looked the part of Man In Charge perfectly. “If you’re gonna ask me for my life story, I’m gonna need to know a little bit about you too.” “All you need to know about me right now is that I’m a man who sees potential in you.” “Potential?” “Potential.”

“That’s not what people typically see in me,” I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.

“No, they see a thief, a cheat, and I’m willing to bet,” the man leaned forward and put his arms on the table that separated us, “Somebody sees you as a threat.” Oh, if only he knew…

“If you’re a government agency then you already have a file on me, meaning that there’s not going to be much I have to say that you don’t already know,” I spoke up, making sure to continue matching the guy’s intense eye contact.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in concurrence before turning to the double sided glass window. It didn’t take more than five seconds before the door opened and Agent Coulson stepped through carrying a manila folder. He handed it to my questioner before disappearing through the doorway once again, I almost wished he would stay. He was the only person I knew at the moment.

“Looks like you’ve been all over,” the man observed as he flipped through the folder, “Gotten yourself into a lot of trouble and whenever someone catches you, poof! Like magic…”

I was excellent at hiding, but I knew when I was beat. As nice as leaving sounded, S.H.I.E.L.D knew too much about me for me to run.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, lowering my gaze to the table.

“Don’t know what?” “I don’t know who I’m running from,” I continued, “But they’re there. If I stay in one place for too long, someone breaks into whatever rusted shed I’m living in or ambushes me in the middle of a bazaar…Somebody wants me.” The man had stopped browsing my file and was intently watching me recount my story, “How long’ve you been on the run?” “Five years,” I explained, suddenly not comfortable with meeting him eye to eye “I was fifteen, woke up in God knows where with no memory of how I got there. While I was wandering around trying to figure out where I was, a group of men tried to grab me. Fortunately for me,” my lips twisted into a smirk, “I can make a quick getaway.”

“You remember where you’re from?” I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes as I exhaled, “No. Any memories before I started living like this are…blurred. I can almost make out a few, mostly from when I was a kid, but I don’t remember any details about my life other than my name and my age. Got anything in your almighty folder that can fill in the gaps?” “We only know what you’ve told us and what you’ve chosen to shown the world,” he replied as he reopened the packet, “Looks like disappearing isn’t the only trick you’ve got up your sleeve.”

“A girl’s gotta defend herself somehow,” I cocked an eyebrow, by now I’d relaxed my rigid posture and was tracing shapes on the table with a finger, “But if you’ve done as much research as you say you have then you should know I don’t bring any of that out unless I absolutely have to.” “Oh, I’ve seen the security cam footage,” he laughed, folding his hands together in front of him, “You put on quite a show. That’s that potential I was talking about.”

After a beat of silence, I finally asked the million dollar question. “What is it that you want from me, Director Fury?”

He should’ve been surprised, most people were, but it didn’t seem like me digging around in his mind was more of an event than eating breakfast was. “Only when you absolutely have to, huh?”

I gave him a small shrug and waited for him to answer. He kept his eyes locked on me, nodding his head ever so slightly. “Miss Y/l/n, whether you’ve thought about it or not, you have the ability do a lot more with yourself than skipping out on the dinner bill. You could be out there stopping the kind of people that are after you instead of running from them. And if you weren’t interested in the prospect of that even just a little, you wouldn’t still be sitting here.” Now there he was right. I agreed to come with Agent Coulson, I willingly let them bring me into an interrogation room, I’d discussed vulnerable details of my life with Director Fury…There was a small part of me that wanted to be a part of something.

“You wanna keep bouncing between continents praying that you don’t get caught? That’s fine, it’s no skin off my back,” Director Fury held his hands up in mock surrender and promptly lowered them back down, “But you stay and you can be a part of a world bigger than you could possibly imagine.”

The only world I’d ever known was spinning a globe, picking a random location, finding the most remote part of the county, stealing what I needed to get by and living in abandoned houses. I’d never had any sense of security. And while the life that Director Fury was offering me gave no guarantee that I’d live long enough to grow old, it didn’t require me to stay as paranoid as I was in the name of survival. I’d gotten by just fine on my own, but I’d never allowed myself to think of a future where I didn’t have to just get by…

“I already told Agent Coulson that I’m not a mercenary,” I began firmly, “I’m not a weapon for you to utilize whenever you want. I’m not joining some super secret spy organization only to find out after a while that I’m working for the bad guys,” I paused to take a slow breath, “But I don’t particularly enjoy being a criminal and if what you’re saying is true, I’m willing to give it a shot.” Director Fury gave me a single nod and just like that, I’d accepted a job without actually committing to sticking around. Fury turned once again to the double sided mirror and the door swung open, ushering in Agent Coulson, a redheaded woman and a blonde man I had yet to meet.

“You’ve already met Agent Coulson, I’d like to introduce you to Agent Romanoff,” he gestured to the woman, “And Agent Barton,” he looked towards the blonde, “He and Coulson will be some of the senior personnel personally overseeing your transition into S.H.I.E.L.D and I have a hunch you and Miss Romanoff will work well together.” “I work just fine on my own, thank you,” I stated, the thought of trusting someone to have my back sent the walls I’d just lowered shooting back up.

“I hate to break it to you but we work as a team here,” Agent Romanoff said, her voice cool and unaffected by my displeasure. If anything, it seemed like she found it slightly amusing, “Besides, you don’t have anything to worry about. Agent Barton’s my partner.”

Director Fury made for the door, Agent Romanoff and the still silent Agent Barton following promptly. “I’ll leave it to Coulson to get you settled, but I’ll be watching your progress closely.” I could give the man credit, he knew how to wear the whole Tall, Dark, Man-With-All-The-Secrets hat well except for one thing. He couldn’t keep any secrets from me. Once the room’s occupancy had lessened, my eyes flew to Agent Coulson.

“What’s the Avengers Initiative?”

He wore a small and knowing smile, “A work in progress. For now, let’s focus on getting you through training then we’ll work on finding you a partner.”

Standing up to follow him out the door, I protested against his checklist, “I already said-“ “I know, but there may come a time where you change your mind,” he interrupted, his tone had gone from professional to semi-friendly as we walked down the hall, “This job is rewarding, but it’s hard work. Having the right partner by your side makes it all a little easier. You’ll see…”

We approached a railing that overlooked the main floor of the headquarters. Coulson didn’t think twice about the view while I approached it curiously. There were people everywhere, more than I’d been around in a long time. Something about the sight of so many individuals dedicated to doing the right thing made something inside of me relax. Maybe for the first time in my life, I was right where I needed to be.

Agent Coulson must have sensed my peace, he came to stand beside me and turned his gaze to where mine was. “Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

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Translations: Jedan, molim: One, please.

Izvini: Sorry.

#marvel imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 3 years

Text

New Fic: You Are Of Their Ilk

A sequel to my fic where Wangxian meet as children in Yunmeng ('You Need Tending' on Ao3) that immediately follows the events of the first.

I genuinely had no intentions to write a sequel but then I started having feelings about Lan Qiren in this situation and I came up with some bullet points that I think I can make a full fic out of so uhhh..Here we go!

Part 1

[Masterpost]

When Lan Qiren wakes the morning of their departure back to Gusu, for the first time since he was a boy he has to force himself to stay still and meditate. His first instinct, of course, is to gather up the children and leave immediately as soon as there’s light to see by. Quite frankly, the only thing that gives him enough pause to go about his typical morning routine is the fresh memory from the night before of little Wei Ying sagging into his hold like a sack of rice to sleep on his chest while he walked, the boy’s exhaustion and relief in feeling safe enough to sleep out in the open like that far too palpable for his liking.

For his meditation, he decides it’s time to work through the guilt that had slammed into his chest the evening prior upon realizing that he had been in a position to help Wei Ying two years ago, and he hadn’t. Looking back on that experience with the clarity afforded by the future, Lan Qiren can’t help but berate himself for not looking closer to see the truth of Wei Ying’s living situation. Of course there are plenty of reasons and excuses he could provide as to why he hadn’t cottoned on, but they all feel so flimsy in the face of Wei Ying’s uncertainty and loneliness, in the hunger that hangs off his too-prominent bones like the rags of his clothing.

His guilt, though, will help no one now. He can’t go back in time and urge his younger self to ask little Wei Ying the proper questions to have figured out that he hadn’t seen his parents in who knew how long. He can’t return to that day and urge Wei Ying to return to Lotus Pier with them, to have put him in a place where he would have been recognized by Jiang Fengmian and provided shelter so much sooner. What’s done (or not) is done, and the past is in its place. What matters now is that he knows, and he can help. He will help.

Lan Qiren allows the guilt to ebb and fade as he breathes, tucks it away from the front of his mind so it will continue to fade naturally under the repetitive wearing away of time. Its purpose served, there’s no point in hanging onto it any longer and allowing it to cloud his judgement. He stirs from his meditation when he can feel the heat of the sun on his back through the window and he dresses for the day to fetch Xichen from his room next door, the boy already dressed and ready for the day as well.

“You have a question,” Lan Qiren observes as he leads Xichen slowly through Lotus Pier to the kitchens for breakfast.

“Yes Uncle,” the boy says quietly, but he says nothing further. Lan Qiren pauses and turns to face him, one eyebrow raised.

“Xichen?”

“I apologize, Uncle. It’s difficult to order my thoughts this morning.”

Unsurprising, Lan Qiren thinks to himself. Yesterday had been strange. When Wangji had asserted a few days prior in no uncertain terms that he would not willingly leave Yunmeng until they found the boy who had rescued him, Lan Qiren hadn’t..quite been prepared for how seriously he meant it.

Not that Wangji ever did anything lightly nor without intense deliberation beforehand, but he had thought, perhaps foolishly, that Wangji’s desire to find the child would fade after a day of fruitless searching. Instead, Wangji had doggedly led him and Xichen to comb through the city as thoroughly as if they were searching for a single ant in an entire pasture. For three days they had searched, scouring every alley, every street, every possible hiding place a wayward child could be. Lan Qiren’s admonishments that the child was likely gone or returned to his parents had fallen on deaf ears. Xichen’s timid attempts at comforting Wangji and coaxing him away from his searching had been similarly ignored. Neither of them had been at all convinced that Wangji would find the boy he was looking for, but then, all of the sudden, there he was, just as Wangji had described him when he had written out everything he knew could aid them in their search.

Small, filthy, cheerful, his clothes poorly made and in tatters, his shoes falling apart, his hair matted. His eyes like silver, and full of laughter. It had been practically surreal to see him there trailing along with his nephews; particularly when he had looked closer upon the boy’s cry of his name to realize just precisely who he was.

“Why does A-Ying know who you are?” Xichen finally asks, though Lan Qiren can tell instantly that that’s not the question burning at the tip of his tongue.

“He is the same boy Wangji saved from dogs two years ago. I treated his wounds then and so he remembers me now.” Lan Qiren watches recognition light up Xichen’s clever eyes.

“Oh! Right, of course, I remember now..” Lan Qiren waits patiently as he watches Xichen try to work through another thought. “Uncle...last night, before we left the infirmary..”

It would seem there’s a fresh guilt for Lan Qiren to work through at the appropriate time.

Xichen looks so hesitant to even allude to the fact that Lan Qiren had hugged them, almost as if he’s afraid of what his reaction will be, and Lan Qiren had never meant for his nephews to fear him so much. He hadn’t even realized that they do, not until he had been confronted with Wei Ying’s unself-conscious affections - as soon as he realized Lan Qiren remembered him and would help him, he had thrown himself into his arms like he was coming home. It had been a long time since either Wangji or Xichen had attempted such a thing and Lan Qiren had, perhaps foolishly, ascribed it to nothing more than a healthy amount respect and obedience. But it had still taken seeing the raw longing in Wangji’s expression the previous night when he had hugged Wei Ying goodnight to realize that perhaps it wasn’t because they no longer wanted it - perhaps, he had realized, the boys were simply afraid to ask him for it.

“Yes?” he prompts now, doing his best not to sound too curt.

“I..No one has..since Mother..” Xichen says, and Lan Qiren can’t find it in his heart to scold him for not speaking clearly when the boy looks so...confused, and upset. Instead, he sighs softly and, though the gesture still feels unfamiliar and strange, holds his arms open in an invitation that Xichen takes instantly. The boy practically trips over his own feet throwing himself into his arms to burrow into his robes. In response, Lan Qiren wraps his arms around Xichen’s narrow shoulders, holding him tightly right then and there in a breezeway in the middle of Lotus Pier.

“We need to go fetch Wangji and A-Ying,” Lan Qiren says after a few long moments. Xichen immediately nods and begins to withdraw. Lan Qiren holds his shoulders to urge him into meeting his eyes as he adds, “It will not always be appropriate to request this, Xichen, but you may always do so in private.” Lan Qiren is again momentarily guilty in response to the startled look on Xichen’s face, but the boy nods his understanding after a moment and Lan Qiren returns it before they continue on their way to the kitchens.

Once loaded up with a basket of breakfast for the four of them, Lan Qiren and Xichen make their way to the healers’ pavilion. All is quiet inside as they let themselves in and Lan Qiren frowns a bit in confusion as he leads Xichen to the room where they had left Wei Ying and Wangji. Upon pushing aside the curtain that partitions the doorway, Lan Qiren takes in the sight in front of him. Wei Ying has been bathed and clothed and is still currently fast asleep curled up in the smallest ball possible on his side, turned towards the bed’s other occupant. Wangji is lying beside him properly on his back, his hands still resting on his chest though his eyes are open as he looks up at a beam of sunlight on the ceiling. At their entrance, he turns his head enough to spot them in the doorway before he raises a finger to his lips, his little face the perfect picture of stern admonishment as he makes sure to remind them to be silent.

Lan Qiren raises an admonishing eyebrow right back but Wangji is unswayed, and when Lan Qiren looks to Wei Ying again he can understand why. His feet are tucked under the blanket but for the most part he’s not covered at all, and there’s something about the sight of his tiny, malnourished, bony frame curled up so so tightly in clothes that are a size or two too big for him that makes him seem more vulnerable than ever. His back and outward shoulder rise and fall as he breathes. With each inhale Lan Qiren can see the protrusions of his spine pressing against the linen shirt drawn tightly around him and he feels another piece of ice around his heart crack away to fall to the pit of his churning stomach.

He nods his acquiescence at his younger nephew after a long moment and gestures for Xichen to take the basket and sit down at a low table on the other side of the room to wait for their new charge to wake on his own. As the older boy does so, Lan Qiren turns to go find a healer.

They’re thankfully easy to locate, working quietly on the other end of the pavilion.

“Grandmaster Lan,” one of them greets in an undertone so Lan Qiren turns to her.

“Who should I discuss the child’s recovery with?” he asks after a moment.

“Healer Xingfu has put herself in charge of the boy,” the woman replies with a smile, voice still low. “I will take you to her.”

He follows the healer through a few more spaces before they enter what seems to be a personal workroom. The medicinal scent of various ointments and herbs tickles his nose but he does his best not to let it show as he offers a salute to a woman who can only be the head healer from what he can tell.

“Grandmaster Lan,” she greets as she stands from her desk. “Are you here to take away my favorite new patient?”

“As soon as he wakes and eats I will be taking him to Cloud Recesses.”

“Well he’ll certainly survive the journey, particularly with such a dedicated little caregiver,” she replies with a fond smile that Lan Qiren has to imagine is meant for Wangji. “Second Young Master Lan is very attentive, he would make a good healer one day if he chose it. He hasn’t left the boy’s side once, and he refuses to let anyone talk when they step into the room so that the little one can sleep.”

“My nephew is not typically so rude,” Lan Qiren starts but he stops when his statement is met only with a quiet laugh.

“Oh no, Grandmaster, no one is offended. We all find the pair of them quite charming, actually, and they’re both wonderful to have here. Besides, it’s reassuring to see that my instruction that A-Ying be allowed to rest as much as he needs while he recovers will be so thoroughly enforced!”

Lan Qiren clears his throat at that, unsure of what to say, but healer Xingfu takes pity on him and schools her features back into something a bit more professional and less..indulgent.

“As far as traveling goes, I understand the journey from here to Gusu is a relatively easy one, but it will be important that A-Ying not be pushed beyond his limits, which will likely be considerably less than either of your nephews can manage. He’s severely malnourished, dehydrated, and currently recovering from what looks like a sound beating judging by the bruises we found when we bathed him. We’ve treated his injuries as well as we can and he’ll heal with time.

“For now, it’s important that he get to sleep whenever he needs it, and that he is allowed to eat as much as he would like of good, healthy foods without making himself sick.” She gets a shrewd look in her eye as she meets Lan Qiren’s steady gaze. “I have a cousin who is one of your outer disciples, and I know from her letters that there is a rule against eating more than three bowls in a meal. If A-Ying wants more than the proscription allows, you will give him more until the day he has gained enough weight that he no longer looks years younger than he is. That boy needs all the food and rest that his little body can stand.”

“I understand,” Lan Qiren acknowledges with a nod, deciding to overlook the method of delivery for such information and instead just be grateful that he is in a position to utilize it. “Thank you for your instruction.”

Healer Xingfu watches him for another moment or two with that calculating gaze before she nods in apparent satisfaction and steps around her desk to open a small chest and withdraw a bundle of cloth.

“We washed his clothes as carefully as we could, though they are nearly ready to fall apart entirely. He had a few things tucked into his pockets, however, and we felt it would be cruel to him to take away his only possessions without warning. They’re wrapped in the clothing.”

Lan Qiren accepts the bundle of clean but ragged fabric, brushes the pad of his thumb along the frayed edges of a hole bigger than his fist in the shirt.

“What possessions?” he asks quietly as he studies the coarse fabric.

“Some scraps of food, a woven grass butterfly that has seen better days, a few smooth pebbles, the feather of a water bird..” Healer Xingfu trails off and Lan Qiren glances back up and finds himself startled to realize her eyes are a bit misty as she looks at the bundle of clothing in his arms. “Grandmaster, may I speak frankly?”

“Yes.”

“I am unsure how long exactly it will take A-Ying to physically recover from this, it may be a few months, it may be longer. But..while I admit that pains of the mind are not my area of expertise, I can say with some certainty that A-Ying’s recovery in that respect will likely be years in the making. Sect Leader Jiang has already been here to share with me what he knows of the boy’s history, and if he has been on his own like this since his parents’ demise...It’s likely he knows nothing but how to survive on the scraps the world has allowed him. He will not think or behave like other children his age who have not shared his experiences, nor should he be expected to.” She takes a deep breath in and gestures to A-Ying’s belongings again. “A boy who keeps dirt covered melon rinds in his pockets to gnaw on when he’s hungry has likely already learned to expect cruelty where he should have been shown kindness.”

Lan Qiren’s breath catches in his chest as he reflects again on the first time they had found A-Ying, the little boy who had been attacked by four dogs all bigger than he just for trying to pilfer a dumpling to eat. “Yes, I agree,” he says quietly. “I will be sure to bear it in mind.”

“Good,” Healer Xingfu says with a smile. “Then shall we go see if he’s up and ready to eat? I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

Her eyes are glittering in a way that abruptly makes him sure that the..hugging incident has already been spread around at least among the healers. He refuses to feel embarrassed for it, though, and so he simply nods and follows the head healer out of her office and back through the pavilion to where the children are waiting.

When they enter the room A-Ying is sitting up in bed rubbing at his eyes with his fists while Wangji and Xichen set out breakfast for the four of them.

“Good morning xiao-Ying,” Healer Xingfu greets with an easy warmth that the boy immediately responds to, looking up from studying his new shirt with a cautious sort of hope in his eyes. “I am Healer Zhou. Are you feeling better this morning?”

Lan Qiren’s attention is pulled from the scene in front of him by Jiang Fengmian’s typically soft voice behind him.

“Master Lan, could I speak with you for a moment?” he asks and Lan Qiren very seriously considers telling him no. Despite how much he knows he would scold either of his nephews for behaving as pettily as he wishes to, he’s still having a hard time keeping himself from blaming Jiang Fengmian for all of this. It’s so much easier to lay the blame at his feet, and it’s not unfounded either.

Wei Ying is the son of his former myrmidon, and Lan Qiren knows for a fact that the two of them kept in communication after his elopement with Cangse Sanren, and the birth of their son. Their last known location was close enough to Lotus Pier that their toddler had been able to wander his way here most likely unaided, and yet he still hadn’t been found. And, most damning of all, when he had informed the Master and Mistress of Lotus Pier of just who he had found, Madame Yu had needed absolutely no explanation whatsoever before she had accurately understood the situation and, in the next breath, began criticizing both the child himself and Jiang Fengmian for his obvious desire to keep him.

Yes. It’s very easy to lay the years of Wei Ying’s hardship at Jiang Fengmian’s feet.

He follows the man from the room anyway, expression set in stern lines of disapproval. It’s familiar and comfortable on his face, and while in the future he’ll be trying to soften it for his nephews’ sake, he owes no such concessions to the man in front of him.

“We will be leaving shortly,” he says to the unspoken question in Jiang Fengmian’s eyes. “As soon as A-Ying has eaten his fill, which will likely happen quickly.”

“I...yes, of course. As much as he wants. Qiren-“

“You do not have that right,” Lan Qiren snaps, suddenly furious. They were once classmates, yes. All of them. He hasn’t stayed close enough to any member of their generation to give them the impression that they can use his name, and certainly no one of their generation who’s still alive would usually dare. (The only one who had ever had the bravery and lack of decorum to ignore his preference died years ago, and left behind her beloved son.)

“..Master Lan. For A-Ying.”

Lan Qiren unbends his stiff neck enough to see that he’s being handed a bundle of letters written on all sorts of paper, the handwriting on the outside of each packet a jumbled mixture - some neat, others hardly legible.

“What is this?”

“The letters I’ve received from his parents over the years, down to the last before the news of their deaths.”

“I see.”

“They had just decided on a courtesy name to give him when he grew older when they wrote me last,” Jiang Fengmian continues, looking slightly pained and Lan Qiren reaches out to take the offered parcel, tied neatly with cord. “Wuxian. 'To have no envy'. I won’t...I can’t tell you what to do with him, how to raise him, or anything but..if he were to stay with me I would give it to him.”

“Their wishes will be honored,” Lan Qiren says stiffly with a nod of thanks. He hates the concession in the face of his anger with the man in front of him, but he’s not going to deprive Wei Ying of his last real tie to his parents just because of his anger. The boy deserves the name his parents chose for him, and Lan Qiren is already sure that he’s going to grow into it well. “Is there anything else? I need to eat as well before we depart.”

“No. I...I don’t want him to become a stranger to Yunmeng, this is his first home, and the children would be good friends for him. But I leave that decision and all others for him in your hands.”

Lan Qiren tucks the letters into his sleeve and offers Jiang Fengmian a parting salute that’s only barely polite. He says nothing as he turns on his heel to retreat into the healing pavilion where the children are waiting for him to take them home.

#the untamed fanfic #wangxian #Lan Wangji #Wei Wuxian #Lan Xichen #Lan Qiren #I genuinely had noooo plans to revisit this universe or write a sequel but HERE WE ARE I GUESS #I hope the people who jokingly requested it are happy to have put the idea in my head in the first place lol

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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i wanna hear your interpretation of how bill would handle tigers anxiety spells. where she’ll be so anxious, she has trouble handling anything, especially intimacy. maybe it’s been a week since they’d even made out, he’s getting worried, and she even cries from how needy she is, but she’s so wrapped in her own head :(

oh goddddd my heart.

Listen, nani. LISTEN. makeout sessions are the best, you know? And Bill--big, sappy, lovesick Bill--he needs a makeout session at least once every two days or so. It doesn’t have to be planned, nothing too hot or heavy, just his girl on his lap with his hand up her shirt while a show plays idly in the background, getting the sweet sin kissed right out of him. Bill loves kissing, he always has, and kissing tiger is like his second favourite thing to use his mouth for on her.

And for as much as tiger need a good spanking every now and then to set her right--Bill needs a makeout sesh. It clears his head, gets him thinking straight again, helps him figure shit out.

But tiger’s anxiety is not only mildly unpredictable, but it’s also kind of cyclical. She’ll get caught up in circles with no way out, really. The affection is always the first thing to go--she’ll stop initiating it all together, really just won’t even realize that she hasn’t hugged him all day or that she didn’t kiss him goodbye when she left for work, or even that when she climbs into bed there’s like a metre distance between them and she doesn’t seek out his warmth. She doesn’t realize. He’ll only get a few small kisses if he goes in for them, but even then tiger squirms and starts to get uncomfortable if he tries to initiate a little more. Intimacy is probably hard for her under any circumstances, but when she’s this caught up with anxiety? it’s almost impossible for her. That side of her just shuts down. She doesn’t think about any of it--about sex, about kissing, about closeness. That part of her brain is switched the fuck off and not a single thought about any of it creeps in.

But like, here’s what so beautiful right--god I die--is that over the course of a few weeks, tiger won’t even realize how needy she’s getting. But she’ll get real fussy, she’ll get real fucking worked up and uncomfortable and it’s because she’s lacking in all of the things that usually set her right--his comfort, his affection. Bill’s a real affectionate dude with her and maybe tiger doesn’t realize how much she relies on his touch to ground her, to make her feel good, to calm her down. So when she’s shirking his affections without realizing, then she gets really fussy without realizing, and it’s just a fucking mess. She’s needy, she has no idea that all of this discomfort and bad feelings is from neediness, and she really has no idea that it’s because she’s been so withdrawn and pulled away from him.

Bill kind of hates it, when she gets like this--not only because he is robbed of all affection, but because he hates seeing her get in so deep like this. Tiger can really get consumed by things, and anxiety is one of the biggest ones. She’ll spin herself in circles, just to try and gain back control but it’s in all the wrong places: she’ll insist on showering at the same time every day. She’ll eat the same thing for breakfast. She fidgets with the screws on the kitchen chair in the same way. She’ll drive the same route to work. She’ll try so hard to build familiarity and manifest control because she feels so powerless in the face of everything. Bill just wants to wrap her in his arms, kiss her all over, throw her under him and make her feel good until her toes curl in pleasure and her mind goes blank, but he can’t do any of that because tiger whines and squirms if he so much as tries to hug her for too long.

But at the same time, I think this is where their Dom/sub relationship is so key, you know? Tiger is spiralling out of control, all in an attempt to gain control. So what Bill does, is he TAKES the control--because if he has it, then she’s safe. She knows she’s safe. She probably even prefers that he has the control, instead of her--he can quiet her mind better, he can stop this endless spiral and calm her down.

So that’s what he does. When she comes in from work--her eyes all twitchy and her face tight with worry--Bill is waiting for her in the hallway. She eyes him but he doesn’t falter, just keeps steady and calm as she shrugs out of her jacket and hangs it up. He doesn’t say a word, and she regards him cautiously as he keeps her gaze. He juts his chin softly to the floor in front of him, and she slowly makes her way there. She grabs onto his hands, using them to steady herself as she lowers to her knees.

And you know--god, Good Dude Bill--he lets her stay like that for a few minutes. One hand in her hair, scritching softly, he lets her just kneel there calmly to let it wash over her--this glorious feeling of letting go. Of letting her mind go blank. Of calm. She thunks her head against his knee as she lets out a shaky breath, and Bill doesn’t falter--just stands there strong and still, his fingers in her hair, and he lets her start to float a little.

“I miss you sweet girl,” he eventually coos to her, and he won’t make her look at him because he’s pretty sure she can’t take it right now. He just wants her to float there a little, to start letting go, and eye contact would jar her too much.

“I miss your kisses, your hugs,” he gently pushes his thumb into her mouth--her forehead is still on his knee but she opens up willingly and he smiles a little.

“I miss cuddling you, I miss the way you taste,” he playfully presses down on her tongue as he leans closer to her ear.

“Everywhere,” he whispers mischievously, and she whines a little.

“You haven’t let me touch you in a long time sweet girl,” he says softly, “But I think it would really help. I think it would make you feel better. Do you want that?”

She sucks harder at his thumb and while he won’t force eye contact, he does want something more decisive from her.

“Hmm?” he prompts again, “Do you want to feel better?”

She nods, quite vigorously.

“I’m going to do what I think will make you feel better,” he tells her, “And if at any point you don’t want to anymore, what do you say?”

“Yellow,” she mumbles around his thumb, “Or red.”

“Good girl,” he runs his hand through her hair, “Stay like this for me for a few minutes okay? I’m going to get some things ready and I’ll come back and get you.”

He takes his thumb back, but she doesn’t say a word--doesn’t even whine.

“Nod if you understand kid,” he prompts, and she nods softly. With a kiss to her head, he disappears for a second--but he comes back to tuck her stuffed tiger into her arms, so she doesn’t feel too alone. She hugs it close to her, and he smiles.

And listen, Bill sets the bedroom up real nice. Lights a few candles. Piles a shit ton of blankets on the bed, puts a soft rainfall soundtrack on that’s loud enough to block out any noise. Makes sure the room is warm enough. He grabs one of his silk ties, and then he goes out to get her.

“Go into the bedroom tiger,” he tells her softly, “Take everything off and get under the covers. I’ll give you a few minutes.”

He helps her to her feet, and her eyes meet his fleetingly as she raises on her tiptoes for a kiss. He gives her butt a soft pat as she makes off down the hallway, and he waits until the soft rustling of the blankets stop.

She’s settled on her back when he comes in, piled beneath the mountain of warm blankets, her eyes closed. Climbing on top of her he kisses her lightly, trailing his lips across her cheek, down to her neck where she’s so sensitive. She stills briefly, seizing up a little, but when he sucks lightly on her sweet spot she deflates a little as she sighs.

“I have one of my ties,” he murmurs in her ear, rubbing the silk material across her cheek, “I’m just going to put it over your eyes so you can relax a bit more.”

She doesn’t nod, but he gently drapes the silk loosely over her eyes and kisses her deeply, letting it linger.

“Colour, kid,” he murmurs against her lips.

“Green,” she whispers.

And this is a little easier for her. Now that her ears are occupied listening to the rainfall, now that her eyes are covered and she doesn’t have to worry about eye contact, she’s already kind of....calming down. Breaking out of that anxiety. He’s not forcing her vulnerabilities, but instead, he’s putting a little bandaid over them so she can relax. He knows that maybe being naked in front of him, all laid out like that, would be a bit too much for her right now--even though she’s been naked in front of him a thousand times now. Bill is just being SUCH A GOOD DUDE and he’s (literally) putting a little safety blanket over everything that her anxiety kind of flares up.

Instead he keeps kissing her until he can finally feel her relax, until she starts kissing him back with a little more intent. And when he feels that she’s finally starting to feel a little good, to let herself go, he’ll scoot down the bed and slowly lift the blankets. He won’t lift them more than he has to, and he’ll make sure her top half is still covered, but he’ll lift them just enough so he can lie down between her legs. And while he usually likes to devour her while she’s spread wide open for him, he knows that would hit too harshly on some of her vulnerabilities so he doesn’t. Instead he opens her legs just wide enough to be able to get his work done, and he starts licking softly at her. And she doesn’t have to focus on anything this way--she can’t really hear much because of the rainfall playing, and she can’t see him because her eyes are covered. All she can do is just feel it--feel everything. The warm, soft blankets piled on top of her. The scratchy stubble on his chin as he licks up her slit. His wet, warm tongue through her folds. His soft lips wrapping around her clit, suckling softly. Her knees are over his shoulders and he runs his hands up and down her body beneath the blankets, but nothing is rushed. Everything is rhythmic, predictable--and Bill is so, so good at that. Keeping everything the same pace, the same pressure, for what seems like an impossibly long time.

He takes his time, savours it, because god--he’s been deprived of her taste, her smell, this intimacy for so long. He loves doing this for her, loves doing this to her.

She moans, deep and guttural, and grinds her hips down more onto his mouth. Hell even his eyes are closed in pleasure, because god he’s missed this. He takes his time dragging his tongue over her clit, circling it slowly, and she’s barely even squirming--she’s just deadweight on the mattress, nearly fucking comatose in pleasure as she just lets it all wash over her. Eventually there’s some rustling, and Bill sees a hand poke out from the blankets, reaching blindly. He smiles into her, kisses her clit gently, and tangles his hand with hers.

“Colour kid?” he asks lowly.

“Green,” she sighs.

She’s wound so tightly that she probably comes pretty quickly, but even then there’s nothing harsh about it--she just sighs deeply, squeezing his hand, her hips rolling up a bit as it washes over her in waves. He lets her come down for it, kissing her thighs softly, her lower belly, the crease of her hip. And eventually he just starts again, real gently, licking at her entrance. It’s not long before his mouth works her to another one, just as gentle as the first.

When he starts her on her third, maybe she surprised him--taking the hand intertwined with hers and pressing it between her legs, grinding down on it. He kisses her mound as his finger circles her entrance.

“Do you want to be filled up sweet girl?” he coos, “Nice and full?”

She doesn’t respond except for a shaky sigh, but he didn’t really expect her too.

“Turn over for me tiger,” he murmurs, and he helps her flip over onto her stomach. When he goes to get the covers piled back on top of her, she lets out a loud whine--skin, she wants to feel him. That’s always a good sign. He makes sure she’s comfy on the pillow, caging her in his arms and putting his thumb close to her mouth. She sucks on it within seconds, and putting his full weight on her, he pushes into her slowly. She’s so tight this way, and she’s already so wet and so sensitive for him.

“Bullseye,” he groans as he bottoms out.And like, listen--tiger ain’t moving much, but she’s just lying there and taking it all in and she’s completely floating. She finally feels so good, so fucking relieved like this--with her Good Dude filling her up, his weight grounding her, his thumb in her mouth. She’s cocooned in safety and comfort and relief and it’s all just...it’s very good. Bill is already close because god she’s so sensitive for him, so receptive, and she’s gripping him so tight. The wet drag drives him crazy, the push and pull and the smell of her skin and his thumb in her soft mouth.

She comes undone again, and that’s Bill’s complete undoing. She pulses around him and he just drives in deep, moaning against her back as he comes. Tiger’s toes curl, and she even ruts back against him so she gets every drop.

“My girl,” he groans, “My good girl.”

He collapses against her, but listen--she’ll be the death of him. Because she’s small as hell now, she’s completely floating, and she’s feeling real good. So with his thumb in her mouth, with him still inside of her as he comes down, all of her inhibitions just completely leave her.

“Daddy,” she whines, small and needy soft.

And suddenly, Bill is ready for a round two real quick.

#THERE'S SOME HOS IN THIS HOUSE #TONIGHT #FILTH #ALL THE FILTH #BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #sub tiger

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beeexx · 3 years

Text

Part 2 of snippets from Ivan and Fedyor’s season 1 pov. Home is where the heart is.

Loving in a time of war. Read part 1 here.

Ivan’s slept too little to be awake at this hour. It’s barely morning, the sun is just beginning to paint the sky, but the curtains haven’t been drawn properly and light dances off Fedyor’s sleeping face. They’ve moved during the night, Ivan is facing the door, his back to Fedyor, who has snuggled close, one hand wrapped over his waist and his face in Ivan’s neck, puffs of hot air tickling his skin at the steady rise and fall of his chest. Ivan’s lips twitch into a small smile as he carefully shifts out of Fedyor’s grip and gently places his arm back on the soft silk sheets. He scrunches his face up, like he subconsciously knows Ivan’s out of reach and Ivan reaches out to smooth the wrinkles over, pushing some of his fringe away from his eyes. His hair is soft and unfixed like it’s not often these days and Ivan likes it the best this way, when Fedyor, almost always so open, is even more open, the armour even he wears around the palace is stripped back completely and just there for Ivan to see.

“It is too early even for you to be awake.” Fedyor murmurs sleepily and blinks his eyes open. He closes them almost immediately again, shielding them from the sun.

Ivan hums agreeably but considers going outside just the same. He feels restless and his mind is already whirring too much for him to be able to go back to sleep so a walk on the palace grounds when most people haven’t risen yet sounds somewhat appealing to him.

“It is too early for walks too.” Fedyor says like he can read Ivan’s mind and he blindly reaches for Ivan’s arm before he pulls, making Ivan huff. He goes willingly, leaning over him on his elbows.

“Stay.” Fedyor opens his eyes, brown with speckles of golden inside of them and Ivan hums.

“I guess I could be persuaded.”

Fedyor laughs and looks a little bit more awake immediately, attention fully on Ivan, expression a little smug suddenly. The morning light throws his sharp features into stunning relief and Ivan has yet to see a sight rival this man.

“Could you now?”

“Depends on the bargain.”

“You know me, I drive a very hard bargain.” Fedyor’s eyes are crinkled up adorably as he tries not to laugh at their ridiculousness but his hand comes to rest on Ivan’s sheek, fingers trailing over his morning scruff.

Ivan takes his hand in his and kisses each finger reverently and Fedyor’s breath hitches before he grabs Ivan’s face and pulls him down to kiss him roughly. Ivan cuckles against his lips but even when he does it he can feel excitement beginning to pool in his stomach and his toes curl as the kiss grow more heated, the promise of what is about to happen making him feel giddy.

…..

It’s later, in fact probably a lot later when Ivan gets up to get them some water. When he comes back he pushes aside the curtains completely, smiling as the warmth of the sun lingers on his face and takes in the view of the apple orchard that has finally started to bloom. He’s heard that it’s taken it longer than usual this year.

Fedyor stretches like a lazy cat, sheets tangled in his legs but he accepts the water with a small proud smirk and Ivan rolls his eyes at him.

“You want me to heal that?” He asks and pushes the pad of his thumb against the love bite on Fedyor’s throat. The kefta won’t be able to fully hide it, it will peek through if he moves his head, which Fedyor is very obviously aware of.

“No.” Fedyor says simply and Ivan nods. “Do you want me to heal those?” Eyes sparkle with mirth as his own hand trails further down to Ivan’s neckline, dotted with little marks from their earlier love making.

“No.” He mirrors Fedyor’s words and Fedyor smiles, pleased.

“Thought so.”

“We’re late.” Ivan comments but makes little indication he’s going to move away.

“Are we?” Fedyor drawls, aware that they are.

“Yes.”

“No one would notice.” Fedyor moves to sit behind him, placing a sloppy kiss on his shoulder blade.

Ivan snorts

“We both know that’s not true.” But he leans into Fedyor’s touch anyway, his eyes falling shut instantly.

“Well it’s not the first time we’ve been late…”

“No, I recall those other times vividly.” His tone is pointed and Fedyor chuckles against his skin.

“My love, I think you might need to get your head checked, because if you recall correctly you had a bit of a trouble streak back in the day.” It makes Ivan chuckle because while that might be true, Ivan always managed to get away with it back in the day, his reputation of orderly and seriousness serving him well. Less so for Fedyor who got the blame, he took it with a secret little smile and never corrected anyone so the assumptions that Fedyor was the one behind it stuck. He turns his head and angles it so he can capture Fedyor’s mouth in a hot searing kiss, never getting enough of him, not even after years together. He messes up Fedyor’s hair and he shifts slightly, Fedyor’s hand coming to rest on his chest again, responding to the way Ivan’s heart is beating under his palm.

“Good thing I am older and wiser and know not to be late anymore.” He says against Fedyor’s lip before he draws back. Fedyor’s huffs and opens his eyes, brown eyes dark before he frowns and plops down on the bed, frustrated. It makes Ivan laugh and Fedyor waves his hand in retaliation sending blood to the lower regions of Ivan’s body causing him to suck in a sharp breath. Fedyor giggles and Ivan sighs.

“Fine.” He agrees and climbs back into bed, his husband’s delighted face worth all the trouble they will get for this.

…..

Ivan doesn’t often get a moment to himself these days. He rarely has time off and even when he does have some time to do what he wants he’s rarely alone. But he’s more tired than he’s been letting on and a moment to himself is what he needs. He’s found a secluded spot on the palace grounds, by the lake but off from the common path and not visible if you don’t know where it is. There are birds singing in the treetops and the wind that keeps rustling the leaves is a comforting sound to his ears.

He exhales.

A twig snaps suddenly and Ivan freezes for a moment, hands raised the next, ready to defend himself against enemies. It turns out it’s just Zoya, who is clearly fuming as she walks angrily towards the clearing, sending leaves in all directions as she walks.

“I regret ever telling you about this place.” Ivan mutters. She stops, her furious expression slipping for a moment as she spots him before she scowls at him. If there was anyone in the little palace that could rival Ivan in scowling it would be Zoya. He ignores her in favour of closing his eyes, focusing on his breathing to get the moment of serenity back.

But Zoya seems to have other plans and the wind around them come back stronger and colder in a very unpleasant way as she keeps taking her anger out on the environment.

“If you don’t stop this right now I will burst a blood vessel in your brain.” He warns without opening his eyes and the wind abates around them. She stops using her powers to take out her anger, instead she stomps around and growls in frustration like a goddamned child. It is almost as annoying as her earlier tantrum.

“Saints, can you go have a tantrum somewhere else?” He snaps, his patience all but gone. She glares and kicks a rock before she saunters over and drops herself down unceremoniously onto the bench by his side.

“It was not an invitation for you to sit.” He grumbles but moves anyway to make more room for her.

“Good thing I don’t care what you think.” She snaps at him and he bites his twitching lips. Despite how extremely annoying Zoya can be Ivan likes her well enough from time to time.

They both sit quietly for a while and it’s peaceful enough that Ivan forgets she’s there for a moment. Until she groans again.

“Aren’t you going to ask what is wrong?”

“Do I look like I care?” She rolls her eyes.

“If you want sympathy go find someone else to bother.”

“I am realising it was a seriously grave mistake to find you of all people, I should have gone for Fedyor, at least he is sane enough to like me.”

“You will hear no arguments from me.”

She gives him an imperious look that Ivan ignores.

“What are you even doing here?” She asks instead.

“Trying to get some peace.”

“What, here?”

“Isn’t that the same reason you are here? To get away?”

“Maybe.”

“You are getting predictable Zoya.”

“It was this or shove Alina Starkov into the mud.”

That makes Ivan chuckle unexpectedly and Zoya smirks.

“Impressive restraint on your end.”

“Oh I’m nothing if not impressive.”

“She is not worth the trouble you’ll get in.” He offers her and she rolls her eyes.

“Says the one already in favour of the General.”

“I worked hard for that position.”

“So did I.”

“Well maybe you should start looking elsewhere for whatever it is that you want.” Her eyes narrow and the air vibrates between them in her fury.

“Maybe I should hurl you into the lake, that might make me feel better.”

“I’ll put you to sleep before you’ll even have the chance to move.” He doesn’t spare her a second glance, she’ll know the threat is real enough. She sighs before she grows silent, staring out onto the water, eyes distant.

“I worked hard to get where I am Ivan, every day I pushed myself harder to get stronger, better, faster and here she swoops in, all muddy and afraid and suddenly everyone loves her, I don’t get what everyone sees in her.” It’s a rare moment of vulnerability from her he’s not too used to seeing.

Zoya is younger than both him and Fedyor and Fedyor had taken to the angry girl immediately when she came to the palace. She had warmed fast to him, everyone did, but it had taken a nasty incident with some older Corporalki girls where Ivan had stepped in that had made him and Zoya friends. Ivan might be stubborn, hard working and grouchy at times but he did appreciate stubbornness and commitment which she clearly possessed. She averaged fast when she got here and that didn’t go unnoticed by some older students who didn’t appreciate it and had chosen her as an easy target to take out their failings on.

He had held his hand out to her where she was sitting against the wall, her face downcast as she wiped furiously at her eyes.

“I don’t want your help.” She had said, her voice steely.

“Good thing I’m not offering you help then.” He had answered her, just as curt, but his hand was still there between them and she had narrowed her eyes before she had let him help her up. She dusted off her kefta and Ivan had watched the smaller girl pull herself together, her pain masked behind a face of indifference. Fedyor would comfort her, offer up some great advice or something. He wasn’t Fedyor.

“I’d say to keep up what you’re doing at least, the best revenge is success.”

She had studied his face for a moment and he hadn’t smiled or really given any indication that he cared, but a small smile curled at her lips anyways.

“Terrible advice, I already know I am better than those girls.” That made him grin though.

“Doesn’t hurt to hear it every now and then.”

“No, it does not.” She said more somber. She didn’t thank him and he didn’t need it, but something did pass between them that made them understand one another better and the small stubborn girl that didn’t give up had carved out a place in his heart.

“Hope, that’s what they see.” He says, bringing himself back to the moment.

Zoya furrows her brows.

“It’s not something I can compete with.” She mumbles, a little sadly. Ivan sighs, his treacherous heart twinging in his chest.

“No, but maybe you shouldn’t.”

“It’s not my way to give up.”

“It’s wise to know which battles to fight and which to not.”

“I know which battles to fight.”

“Zoya…” He begins, clears his throat from the soft voice that has slipped through. He starts again. “Chasing after the General will do you no good.”

She narrows her eyes again.

“What would you know about chasing?”

That makes Ivan laugh and it catches Zoya completely off guard for a moment, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Did you just… laugh?”

“You said something very funny.”

“Saints, I can barely make you smile on a good day and now you’re suddenly laughing?”

“Do you often try to make me smile?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at him before she averts them to hide what Ivan thinks might be a faint blush.

“Shut up.”

“Gladly, I would like to return to my peaceful moment.”

“Will you tell me about your history of chasing or shall I have go to Fedyor to get that information?”

“Fedyor would keep my secrets from you.” She rolls her eyes.

“He would…” She says after a while.

The birds have gone back to their twittering and he enjoys the sounds of the alive forest around him.

“You’re lucky to have him.” Her voice edges on wistful in its sadness as she interrupts the moment yet again.

“I am.” He admits because it is the truth.

“I would like you to tell me how you met.”

“That will never happen.”

She chuckles.

“I will get the story out of you one day Ivan, I just need to find the right bribing material.”

“That will take you a lifetime malen'kiy.” The old nickname slipping through.

She smiles brilliantly at him and Ivan offers one back in return.

…..

Ivan is in their room when Fedyor comes back, sitting down, in the process of shaving.

“I hear you let the sun summoner out of your sight today.” He comments, meeting Fedyor’s eyes in the mirror. His husband at least has the decency to look a little bit guilty before he shrugs and comes forward, wrapping his arms around Ivan’s shoulders.

“It wasn’t so serious. She just wanted to see the acrobats. Besides, Genya was with her at all times.”

“I see.” He drawls, unimpressed. Fedyor shakes his head, a little peeved.

“Love do you not remember being young? Wanting to be free, have some fun?” He raises a pointed eyebrow, voice a little stern and Ivan’s demeanor falters for a moment as a small little smile slips through at the memories.

“Oh I remember.”

“We used to get in so much trouble.” Fedyor giggles, his annoyance forgotten as he places a kiss on top of Ivan’s head.

“Yes and whose fault was that?”

“Oh I remember your trouble making streak darling.” Ivan grins and goes back to the task at hand, not admitting anything.

“She was fine you know.” Fedyor says after a while. Ivan grunts as a reply and Fedyor rolls his eyes, a little fondly.

“I think it did her some good too.”

“Well she should be focusing on practicing her powers rather than avoiding duties and having fun.”

“What a boring life it would be, to not have any fun.” Fedyor says and spins the chair Ivan is sitting in around before he graciously sits down in Ivan’s lap, plucking the shaver out of his hand.

“Some people could do with less fun.” He comments drily but lets Fedyor continue with the shaving.

“Some with more.”

Ivan huffs.

“She could have gotten in trouble, then all the preparations for the future would have been wasted.”

“Well I told her off if it makes you feel any better. I tried out my impression of you, worked wonders.” Fedyor’s eyes spark like they do when he’s proud of himself, the joy so contagious Ivan can’t bear to be disgruntled.

“Oh, that I am impressed by my dearest husband.” He is in fact a little proud. Fedyor grins.

“And, ah, I also think the General is quite fond of her, don’t you think?”

Ivan rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure she won’t even get in trouble for her little rebellious act, in fact I think he’s a little bit impressed by her.”

“I’m sure it’s not the only thing he’s impressed by.” Ivan mutters and Fedyor laughs.

“My my, is that jealousy I detect?”

“Don’t be stupid, I do not harbour any jealous feelings of the sun summoner, I am not Zoya for saint’s sake.” Fedyor only laughs harder and puts the shaver up to Ivan’t shin.

“No, it would be quite unlikely of you to feel jealous when it comes to women.”

“They are not my type.”

“Oh I’m well aware.” Fedyor smirks and Ivan thinks of pushing him off his lap but he doesn’t want to risk getting his throat cut so he tightens his arms around Fedyor instead and Fedyor smiles sweetly before he continues with a ridiculous precision and care he will only extend to Ivan.

“So, all done.” Fedyor says after a while and takes the towel from the sink, wiping his face clean.

“Good. Thank you.”

Ivan’s eyes travel to the newly arrived keftas hanging by the massive wardrobe and he can’t help but frown. Fedyor puts his finger on the scowl and smooths it over.

“No grimaces when there is a party happening.” He chides without any heat and Ivan’s eyes move over to his face instead.

“You only want to attend this party because of the sweets my love.”

“Ah there are going to be so many baked goods there.” Fedyor says excitedly.

“Only you will get this excited over the prospect of sweets.”

“That is because there is nothing quite in this world that can rival sweets.”

Ivan lifts an eyebrow making Fedyor laugh.

“I said quite.” He defends with a laugh and Ivan stands up, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist and places a kiss on his nose. Fedyor’s legs wrap around him in return and his arms come to rest around his neck.

“Come on, let’s get ready for your party then.” Ivan says with Fedyour’s laughter in his ears.

#shadow and bone #sab #shadow and bone fic #ivan #ivan shadow and bone #ivan x fedyor #fedyor kaminsky #fanfiction #my writings

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percywinchester27 · 4 years

Text

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-14)

Word count: 2.1K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Fluff!

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: Here’s a sweet sweet chapter for y’all

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23. You’re the best

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

27th October 2008

“Where are we going?”

You peeped out of the window. Even though the landscape was familiar, you had never been to this side of the town. Sam was following the highway, so it was easy to keep up with the direction.

“You’ll see,” he gave you a sideways smile.

Contrary to what you had believed, Sam did own a car. Actually, it was more of a minitruck, but a mode of transport nonetheless. He said it was mostly parked out at Dean’s garage, since Sam hadn’t been around to drive it.

You hadn’t even known that the father of your to be child owned a car, till he turned up in Aunt El’s driveway to pick you up today, honking loudly with a huge smile on his face. The truck was nowhere as smooth as Dean’s Baby, but Sam seemed to like it. You rolled down the window and closed your eyes as the wind rushed through your hair.

The events of the past week came to your mind. The way Sam had stood by you, his hand tightly gripping yours as you broke the news to Ellen. She hadn't been happy, not even a bit. Sam took all her anger head on for knocking up her niece, without saying back a word. After she had exhausted herself and plopped on the sofa, face in her hands, Sam had kneeled by her and assured her that he had every intention of taking care of you and the baby, that you were his responsibility now. Even though aunt El hadn’t responded to him, she had mellowed out eventually, and started smiling even. In fact, the night before, she had come up to you to advise you about the terrible morning sickness you were suffering through.

The first trimester seemed to be a whole new ordeal in itself. The dizziness and bloating you could take. The vomiting however...

Jo had been a blessing through all this. She helped you in the mornings and after your aunt had stormed into her room, she had hugged Sam very tightly and congratulated him with a very sincere smile on her face. The scene brought tears to your eyes.

The one reaction that had actually blown your mind was Dean, who had stormed in the next morning and scooped you in his arms, his booming laughter brightening the house. You didn’t think you had ever seen anyone that happy. Even now, the memory of his hug and his words brought a smile to your lips.

I’m going to be an uncle! Oh, this is awesome. YOU are awesome!

“What are you thinking?”

You turned your head to see Sam smiling at you. He smiled a lot lately, like he was happy every minute of the day.

“Nothin.”

You could watch him smile like that all day long, the dimples digging into his cheeks and tongue peeking out to lick his bottom lip.

“Look out the window.”

You did and were awestruck by the expanse of water stretching along the highway.

“That’s the Clinton lake,” he said. “Dean used to bring me here for fishing. I was awful at it.” He scrunched his nose.

You gazed out at the clear blue of the water and the varying shades of green surrounding it. It was serene in a timeless way. Sam parked the truck along a shoulder and helped you down.

"Sam, this is beautiful," you breathed, taking in the perfect spot. It was the edge of the lake and the water lapped at the edges of what looked like a stretch of rocky land… almost a beach but not quite because it graduated into soft grass followed by a stretch of shadowy trees.

"Come." He pulled you by your arm, leading you to one of the biggest trees. You watched as he laid the blanket you had brought along and smoothed it out for you to sit on.

Sam busied himself with pulling out the eatables from the basket- A bag of cookies, two packed sandwiches- Chicken, because Tuna made you sick these days- fresh fruit juice and cheese and cracker, carefully laying them out. It didn’t miss your attention that his hands were shaking slightly. He was nervous.

It was predictable. Afterall, he had only found out a week ago that he was going to be a father.

“I’ve been thinking,” you said, slowly nibbling at a cracker. “I don’t want to go to college this year.”

“What?” The napkin dropped from his hand. “But Y/N…”

“No buts,” you said firmly. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know we talked about me attending the classes while being pregnant and then hiring a nanny, but I want to look after the baby. I feel like I’ll be miserable all day in classes otherwise.”

He gave you a hard look, like he was choosing his words very carefully. “Are you sure?”

Everyone- especially, Sam- had been asking you that question a lot lately. Are you sure you want to have the baby? Are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure you want to move in with Sam? Just so many of them. Aunt El thought you weren’t mature enough to handle moving out of her house, so her questions were tagged on with uncertainty and condescension. You let her have it. Afterall, she was only concerned for your sake. When Sam asked the questions, though, it was always to define what you really wanted. To ascertain that you weren’t doing anything you didn’t really want to do.

“Mhmm.” You answered. You loved that about Sam- he never discredited your opinion. The final decision about your life was always yours. Always.

“There’s one other thing,” you said, slowly. “I want you to take that job in NY.”

This time he looked appalled.

“Hear me out,” you said, “I’m a big girl and it’s my decision to take a gap year. That shouldn’t stop you from pursuing the best opportunity you have. You won’t be starting there until February anyway. We have plenty of time till then to go figure things out, right?”

Sam placed a hand on your arm and gently beckoned you to him. Abandoning the cracker in your hand, you went willingly, stretching out against his long lean body, with your back to his chest. You leaned your head back so that it was resting over his shoulder. His hands automatically went to cover your belly and an unfamiliar warmth spread throughout your body.

He laughs more.

You recalled Dean’s words from a while ago about how Sam had changed. You didn't know him before you entered his life, however, now you did sense a change in him. He seemed… content. Sam was always grinning, and when it was just the two of you, he could help but always touch you in little ways, the pinky finger wrapped around yours, back of his hand gliding against the side of your arm or touching his forehead to yours.

It struck you brand new how incredibly gorgeous he was. Little ‘Chirp’ as you had taken to calling the baby in your head would be lucky to inherit those looks.

“You know, I’ve been doing some thinking of my own,” he said, trailing feather light kisses along the line of your neck, his hand traced the length of your arm till your hand was in his. Something small pressed into your palm, before his fingers closed over yours. You turned your hand over and opened it to find a beautiful ring nestled there.

Stunned, you looked at him.

His brilliant, beautiful eyes melted as he asked, “Marry me?” The unevenness of his voice was enough to almost undo you.

“Sam,” you whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes,” he urged. “Say you’ll marry me and make me the luckiest man in the whole world.”

There was something so primarily vulnerable about his face that you had to close your eyes. This might have been the part of your wildest dreams and almost every bit of you wanted to say- no, to scream- yes, but you held back, trying to cling to that one shred of reason that would not let you do this.

It would be the hardest thing that you might ever have to do, and looking into his eyes would make it impossible, so your eyes remained closed as you spoke. “You’re the best person I know, Sam and I know why you’re doing this. I love you for it, but I can’t let you do this only because the baby is on the way and you think it’s the right thing to do. Because it’s not. This will affect your future in ways we can’t even comprehend right now. I won’t marry you as a compromise.”

“You think I want to marry you because of the baby? As a compromise?”

The words were so flat that you had to open your eyes, if only to see his expression. He sounded angry.

But Sam wasn’t angry, he was incredulous.

Both of his hands came to cradle your face. “Y/N, I’m asking you to marry me because I’m utterly and hopelessly in love with you. You have consumed my thoughts since the day I first saw you. My dreams aren’t complete without you in them. I’m asking you because I’m beyond sure that there isn’t another soul that I would love as much. Hell, I didn’t even know I had the power to love this much.”

You were dumbstruck.

“Baby, I would have asked you to marry me a long time ago, if I wasn’t worried about tying you down to one place. You have wings so wide and you’ve barely even tested them. I’ve always wanted for you to fly and be the best version of yourself. Now, with the baby, and since you’ve already decided to move in with me, I can’t wait to call you my wife. That’s why I am asking you to marry me.”

“What about your job, your career?” You stuttered.

“Easy,” he said. “You want me to take up that job, right? Then come to New York with me. You’re taking a break year anyway. Don’t go back to NC Central. Apply in colleges that deserve someone as bright as you.”

You shook your head, trying to believe that this was actually happening.

“The money… I’ll never be able to afford it.”

“I’ll pay.” His response was so quick, it made you realise he had thought it all through.

“Sam, you know I can’t let you do that for me.”

He bent down to kiss the side of your face. “If you agree- and God, I hope you agree- you’ll be my wife. It’ll be my honor to help you through college. It’s a six figure salary. I wouldn’t even know what to do with that kind of money.”

Your throat tightened and tears made the side of your head ache. He was so incredibly selfless, and so in love with you. Yes, you had believed every word he had said. It was hard not to when he was looking down at you like that- as if you were a supernova, an impossible miracle.

“Yes,” you sobbed. “Yes, Sam Winchester, I’ll marry you.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” he exhaled, swooping down to kiss you with a passion that could have set the lake on fire.

He slid the ring on the third finger of your left hand. It fit perfectly, the diamond glinting in the sun. “Happy birthday, Darling,” he whispered against your lips.

“You outdid yourself with the gift, don’t you think,” you said hoarsely, nestled against his chest, the warmth of his body seeping into your skin through the soft cotton.

You could feel the rumble of his throat as he chuckled. “What’re you talking about? You gave me the best present ever. A week ago I was only trying to crack the bar. Now I’m going to be a husband and a dad! I’m getting everything I could ever ask for.”

“You’re going to be an amazing father,” you said. “Little Chirp is so lucky.”

“Chirp?”

You beamed. “It’s what I call the baby.”

“Chirp,” he weighed the word again, smiling now, apparently having liked it. His hand had subconsciously reached to cradle your stomach.

Did things even get better than this? You wondered to yourself. The two of you could only try to place the entire world at Chirp’s feet, but he would sure rule your entire world.

*******************************

A/N 2: Like I said, the story gets a little slow, for like two more chapters. But trust me, it is necessary. I’ll try to post the next chapter a bit early ;)

PLEASE let me know what you think of this story?

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maysbanks · 4 years

Text

hold out. (jj maybank)

here it is, the second part to hypersonic missiles ! the response to the first part was absolutely amazing, the support & love in this fandom is incredible & i just wanna say a huge thank you to all of you that take the time to like, reblog & comment, every single one means so much !! gotta admit im not loving this as in it's not my best work and kinda all over the place & half way through writing this i almost scrapped the whole thing to rewrite the full series with an oc bc writing as the reader was starting to get to me lol. but alas here it is & as always i hope u enjoy x

warning: swearing, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc

summary: after accidentally inserting herself into a treasure hunt with four teenagers, one of which could be considered her 'friend with benefits', y/n grubbs is left to deal with the complications and misfortunes that come along with it - including her ever-growing feelings for said 'friend with benefits'.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

If someone had told you a week before that you would lose your father, get your house raided by two men you had never seen before in your life, make friends with a group of teenagers, embark on a two hundred year old treasure hunt with said teenagers, and be hanging out with JJ Maybank every day and willingly, all in the space of one week; you'd have laughed in their face, asked them what drugs they were on and could you have some, and then laugh in their face again.

But alas, there you were. You still couldn't quite believe it, especially the JJ part. You'd had worries at first, like would the gang really want you involved, did they secretly hate having you around, were they just being nice and letting you in on this because your dad had died? All the doubts swirled in your mind, running around like clock-work, just ticking away constantly in the back of your head. Surprisingly, JJ had been the one you'd gone to about them.

"I just feel guilty," you'd said. It was after a day of riding around in John B's boat and using fancy hotels' WiFi, and 'borrowing' a drone from JJ's dads old workplace. His eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you, confused. "I mean, you guys have been friends for like, forever. And then I just show up and you conveniently find out about John B's dad and the treasure hunt on the same day when I'm there, and it's just like - I don't belong with you guys, it's your thing and I'm just kinda, here."

"You're part of this just as much as we all are," he'd told you, matter of fact. His body was angled to face you as you sat outside John B's self-proclaimed Chateau, a freshly rolled blunt being passed back and forth between the pair of you. "You need to stop doubting yourself, man. You're apart of us now."

The words had warmed your heart, an instant smile being spread on your lips as you looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. Underneath the setting sun, he looked almost angelic; his golden hair blowing in the slight breeze, tanned skin exposed due to the heat. You had pretended not to notice the tense of the muscles in his arms whenever your fingers brushed when you passed the juul between yourselves.

"You're too kind to me, Maybank," you'd grinned, boot-clad foot nudging his knee gently. "If I didn't know you so well I'd have thought you'd have ulterior motives."

"Who says I haven't?" He'd smirked back. You'd just smiled, teeth biting down on the plump skin of your bottom lip before you'd looked away from his burning gaze and focused your attention on anything, anywhere but JJ fucking Maybank.

You got along with the gang amazingly, you couldn't doubt that. Pope was the smartest guy you'd met, sweet and funny and passionate and so certain of what he wanted to do in life. Kiara, or Kie, as you'd come to call her, was very environmentally involved, almost too cool for the guys, you thought. She cared so much about so many things, and she had a great taste in music too. John B was a bit like you, you supposed. Fatherless, on the hunt for answers, things like that - but other than that he was a great guy, the makeshift leader of the little group, a little lost in life, but that was to be understood.

And then there was JJ. You felt most comfortable around the blonde, but that was kinda a given too, due to the fact you'd seen each other in your most vulnerable states that came with having sex rather regularly, something the other members of the gang didn't share. He was a spit-fire, always ready to throw a punch and fire threats at those who deserved it, head-strong and stubborn. But he was more so caring, God he cared so much for his friends, you'd discovered. He would do just about anything for them, whatever position that put him in. JJ put the gang before himself, always. You'd noticed all different types of things about JJ especially, little things you had never taken the time to notice before.

These little discoveries probably came from watching him too much, you'd thought one night. It was a bit of a problem, though you never mentioned it. The unspoken rule amongst the group was No Pogue on Pogue Macking, which basically meant everyone was off limits to each other. You understood the rule, Kie having been the only girl before you'd arrived on the scene amongst three guys, and after becoming apart of the gang you had no choice but to respect it - which also meant that JJ was off limits. But was he technically off limits when you'd already been there, so far past the line on macking with each other?

There was some sort of agreement between the two of you, that in order to make this work; your friendship with the Pogues, the hunt for the Merchant's treasure, that nothing could happen. You'd spoken briefly about it that first day, outside the lighthouse beside the Twinkie (John B's van, you'd learned had a nickname), we're cool, right? Pretend we haven't seen each other naked, conversation. It had been cut short, but it still happened. And the pair of you never mentioned it after that, a few off-handed comments here and there from JJ, but nothing specific. So you assumed yours and JJ's hook ups were off the table, and you had no idea why that had come to bother you so damn much.

On the day following your talk with JJ on John B's porch, he'd invited you to come along with him and Pope as they delivered groceries for Pope's dad, Heyward. You had almost said no, because really, you could probably do with a break from the Maybank boy, all the time spent with him was doing no favours for your little situation of Fighting Attraction While Hunting For Gold. That's what you were putting it down to in your mind anyway, too much time spent with the person you're sleeping with can begin to mess with anyone's head, and hey, maybe it was the fact that you were grieving and JJ was familiar - but you couldn't be doing with all these thoughts anymore.

Despite the angel on your shoulder urging you to turn his offer down, you'd said yes. But that was little to do with JJ and more to do with your mom and your current home situation, which was unbearable, to say the least. Your mother was barely speaking to you, as if she was scared of letting something slip if she did. In return, you shut her out, too. Told her lame excuses and empty lies when you were heading out with the gang, lying through your teeth when she'd asked where you were or where you were going.

Lana Grubbs wasn't a stupid woman, though, and you knew she knew you were up to something. But she hadn't mentioned anything outright yet, and so you hadn't said anything either. The hole your father had left was huge and gaping, evident in both your lives. You hadn't spoken about it yet, and you weren't intending to until she could be completely honest with you. You didn't want to hear anymore lies, and you were already on the path to discovering the full truth. On your own.

Her words echoed in your mind every time you left the house, voice small and gentle as she never failed to say the same thing. "Just be careful." You'd always look over your shoulder, and she'd never look back at you. She hadn't looked at you much at all since your dad had died.

It was after a certain drop-off of groceries, you'd joined JJ in his delivery whilst Pope had docked the boat and gone off to deliver his own, yours and JJ's strides matching as you walked the seemingly never-ending drive of the abnormally large house that loomed over you. The Kook part of the island never ceased to intimidate you, no matter how much you didn't want it to. There was something about it, the people that lived amongst it, that unsettled you whenever you entered it. Figure Eight wasn't somewhere you usually visited other than an odd job you'd picked up, and you were reminded why of that fact as you walked alongside JJ.

"Just think," he breathed, all starry eyed and parted lips as he gazed around the pair of you. "This could all be ours soon."

You snorted, bumping his side with your own. "Don't be melodramatic, JJ,"

"I'm serious!" JJ protested. His sea blue eyes caught yours when he turned his head to look at you head-on. The intensity of his stare almost made you stop in your spot, but you managed to carry on, gulping when his eyes continued to hold yours. "I'm sticking to my earlier statement, right, we're going to move here, and out-rich all these fuckin' Kooks."

"Out-rich?" You raised an eyebrow, lips quirking. "Your grammar is so adequate, Maybank."

"It's a word," JJ insisted, nudging your side with the point of his elbow. "Who the fuck uses words like adequate these days, anyway? I don't even think Mrs. Humphrey knows what that word means."

You laughed at the mention of your shared English teacher, the grey-haired, short, spectacle wearing woman immediately entering your mind. JJ grinned when he heard your laugh, dimples winking in his cheeks.

"Mrs. Humphrey can't even spell Wednesday," you giggled, JJ chuckling along with you as he nodded. "It's a wonder how that woman has been working there for like, eighteen years or something."

Your steps faltered as you neared the door to the house, pace slowing as you both basked in the time spent with each other, though neither of you would admit it. "She was probably a good teacher at first," JJ said thoughtfully, shuffling the groceries in his hands. (You tried not to notice the way his arms looked when he did that, muscles clenching and on full show with his cut-off tank.) "I bet each year another brain cell of hers just like, dies."

"Wouldn't surprise me," you nodded. "Mine would attempting to teach classes full of teenagers," rather dramatically, you shuddered. "Especially if one of those teenagers was JJ Maybank."

"Hey!" JJ shouted, though his grin proved that he found your jab amusing. You laughed along with him, bumping his side once more as you finally landed at the door, watching as he turned to you, expression trying to be serious and failing, rather horribly. "You better watch yourself, Grubbs. I'm serious here, I can be a pretty scary guy if need be, y'know."

You didn't doubt that, of course. You'd seen JJ in action with your own two eyes, you knew what he was capable of. But somehow, stood with you there, on the doorstep of some filthy rich Kook's mansion, groceries in hand, blonde hair shining golden in the sun, sun-kissed skin exposed to your wandering eyes, grin on pink lips; you couldn't imagine JJ Maybank hurting a fly.

"Trust me, I know." You'd said just as he knocked on the door, shooting you one last toothy grin before the door was opened and he was pulled into a conversation with the woman who'd answered it, talking about all things from the weather to the next semester at school. You watched him all the while, smile growing on your lips without your knowledge as you took him in, seemingly in his element as he sweet-talked the middle-aged woman inside the house. When he turned to you suddenly, you startled, broken from your thoughts and caught red-handed staring at him like some freak. He grinned, tongue wetting his pink lips at the same time you internally groaned.

"I was just saying, the groceries," he trailed off as he pointed to the bags in your hands in which you'd forgotten were even there. You let out an 'oh' as you quickly passed the groceries over to the waiting woman, shooting her an apologetic smile as she looked at you knowingly. JJ nodded his head in your direction, speaking once more to the woman, "New guys, huh?"

You glared at him as the woman laughed, perfectly manicured hand reaching beside her and grabbing hold of her purse, pulling a note out with her slender fingers. She held the note out to JJ, who immediately tried to turn it down, insisting there was no need, but the woman was unrelenting - sending a pointed look your way as she told him, "For your troubles, sweetie."

JJ picked the note from her hands, a gracious smile being sent to her as he nodded. "It's been a long day," he sighed heavily and your jaw almost dropped as you resisted the urge to reach out and slap his arm. What a fucker. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Ramirez. I really appreciate it."

The woman, Mrs. Ramirez, as you learned, nodded and waved a hand. "No bother, sweetie," she told him before turning her eyes back to you. You forced a smile as she simply eyed you up and down, before sending an obviously forced one of her own. "And thank you." She said curtly, and you were ready to give her a piece of your mind before JJ was grabbing your arm and dragging you in the direction of where you'd come from, shouting one last thank you over his shoulder as he walked you back towards the boat.

It was when you were a safe distance away that you shook your arm from his hold only to slap him gently on his own as you glowered, glare smouldering as he laughed, throwing his head back as he stumbled beside you.

"You're such an ass," you huffed as you tried to ignore his chuckling, speeding your steps. "I mean, she literally just tipped you a hundred dollars for showing up and smiling, I'm sure if I had a third leg down there I would have got the same treatment too."

"Are you jealous?" JJ asked, having to jog slightly to keep up your hurried pace. His smile was huge and infectious, and you made a point not to meet his stare when he landed next to you in fear of breaking your fake annoyed stance. "Maybe if you weren't too busy checking me out then you could have talked to her, and y'know, make a small fortune yourself."

You scoffed, whirling around and halting him in place. He almost stumbled into you, and you stepped back when his hands landed on your arms to steady himself, shaking his grip off almost immediately. "I wasn't checking you out," you told him, matter of fact.

JJ grinned and ran a hand through his hair as he replied, "Sure you were," he shrugged. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared, biting down on your tongue as you resisted your own smile as he motioned to his body from head to toe. "Not that I can blame you, I mean look at me."

"I've looked, JJ," your voice was low when you said it, a knowing tone to your words. "I've looked, and I've seen it all, in case you forgot."

A low chuckle slipped past his lips. "How could I ever forget?" He asked rhetorically, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips as you tried not to follow the action with your eyes, and failed, miserably. "Trust me, that image is forever dented in my brain. I think of it, sometimes. Just randomly."

You rolled your eyes. And he's back, _you thought. _He never left, a voice at the back of your head piped up. You ignored them both. "C'mon," you said, already turning on your heel and starting off in the direction of where Pope had docked the boat. "Let's go get these deliveries finished."

The pair of you said nothing more for the rest of the duration of the short walk back, and when the boat was in your sights JJ was off running, more than likely eager to show off his one hundred dollar tip to Pope, as you idled, watching his back as he ran. When you finally landed in the boat, it was silent. You immediately picked up on the tension, heavy in the small space, and shot JJ a confused glance when he looked back at you.

Slowly, you made your way towards where the two boys were up at the front of the boat, Pope situated at the wheel. The dark skinned boy was staring straight ahead, refusing to meet either yours or JJ's eyes. When you looked to the latter, he subtly shrugged a shoulder, letting you know that he had no clue himself what was going on with his best friend.

"Pope?" You questioned softly. "What's wrong?" When there was no answer, you shared another glance with JJ, his concern shining in his blue eyes. You tilted your head as you went to ask him again, but when you did, your eyes caught on to the colour crimson that was slowly streaming down the side of his face. You gasped and JJ startled, chest bumping your shoulder as he tugged the cap from Pope's head, revealing the injury near the top of his head.

"Jesus!" JJ exclaimed when he caught sight of the wound, Pope swatting at his hands that held his hat, pulling it back down once JJ had let go. "What happened?"

"Rafe and Topper jumped me," Pope's voice was slightly wobbly as he informed you both, a tear sliding down his cheek as he recounted, "They said no Pogues on their side of the island."

Your blood began to boil just as JJ demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His own jaw clenched in anger as he looked at his best friend, beaten and bruised in front of him from the hands of some entitled selfish pricks that thought they were better than everyone because they had more money in their pockets. Rafe Cameron was a name that never failed to make you queasy at just the mention of it, and his little gang of followers including Topper Thorton were just as unbearable.

"I have something in mind." Pope spoke, voice and stance determined. And something he did, as he drove to Topper's new boat - and promptly swam over and removed the plug from it, causing the new model to sink into the water as you and JJ watched from Heyward's boat, keeping an eye out for anyone that may have spotted your trio.

And though it was bad, and you knew you probably shouldn't have taken part in such an activity, nor prompted Pope to either; you couldn't deny the rush it gave you as you watched Topper Thorton's boat begin to sink, and maybe it was the fact that you knew that Topper was a Grade A Asshole and deserved it, or maybe it was Pope's own unsure but excitable adrenaline that mixed with your own, or maybe it was just the fact that JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder without a care in the world as he shouted his support to his friend, squeezing you to his side almost unknowingly, like it was some kind of instinct.

You thought, yeah, it probably was, as you immediately felt the loss of it when he moved to grab Pope in a hug. And then you thought, well shit.

There was a mutual share of disappointment when the gang had found just about absolutely nothing when you'd taken Pope's fathers boat out the next morning, drone ready and in hand to go hunt for the gold, where John B Routledge had marked down on the map it having been.

Granted, the Royal Merchant was there. It was just missing the one thing they were after - the gold was nowhere in sight, and the journey had been a complete waste of time. You thought it to be too good to be true, of course it had to be. Four hundred million in gold and you were expected to find it? There was no way, you thought bitterly as JJ steered the gang back to land, not one of you daring to speak as the disappointment crashed over you all in huge waves.

You'd departed with the guys not long after that, after promising Kie that you would accompany her to the annual summer movie night, making your way towards home. The bitter frustration ate away at your insides, you were mad, angry - fucking infuriated, each step the gang got closer to finding the gold, it was as if someone was stood in your path and shoving you all back another ten.

Had your dad really died for this? This seemingly never-ending hunt for promised gold that, for all you knew, could be complete and utter bullshit. You didn't understand it at first, when the pieces began to slot together, but it was like every time the chase got harder it made you want it even more; and then you understood your fathers fascination and Big John Routledge's obsession. This gold meant everything to you and the gang, and you knew, John B especially, would never give up on this chase.

"Hey, sweetheart," your mother called when you entered the house. The front door was still broken, only the screen in place, and was leaning against the wall as you maneuvered past it. Lana was sat at the couch, and when you walked in she'd shoved a box away from her, the lid laying haphazardly over the top. "I wasn't expecting you home so early."

You shot her a small and forced smile, shuffling your bag from your shoulder and onto the floor, landing with a soft thud. "Hey mom," you greeted back, noting her teary eyes and flushed cheeks. "What're you doing?"

When you arrived at the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder, you immediately recognised the box - Family Photos! _written atop _the cardboard.

"I was just looking through some old pictures," she told you, sniffling as she attempted to smile at you. "Just wanted to see his face again."

You nodded, your throat tightening at the mention of your dad. Reaching a hand up and wiping away her tears, she looked at you questioning, "Where have you been?"

"Just out," you said, bluntly and unconvincing. "Doing a few jobs here and there, y'know. Nothing exciting."

Lana hummed, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Mr. Phelps told me that he seen you with that Maybank kid the other day," she informed, your face falling for a millisecond as her words sunk in. She looked at you, tear-stained face and serious gaze, lips pulled to a thin line. "I told you to stay from those guys, Y/N."

"I was helping him deliver groceries, mom," you deadpanned - which wasn't exactly a lie, if that's when Mr. Phelps had spotted you. Most of your time spent with the gang was mainly off the land and away from prying eyes, whether that be on a boat or the Chateau, so you knew that was the safest bet of when you'd been spotted. "For Heyward's. It's not like I'm hanging out with him on purpose."

Lie, lie, lie. It was becoming alarmingly easy to lie straight through your teeth, and to your mother nonetheless, but you couldn't dare tell her anything, and why should you, when she hadn't told you anything? It took two to Tango, you thought.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," your mother reminded, and you let out a sigh as you nodded, faked closed-mouth smile on your lips. "I'm serious, Y/N, please just be careful out there."

"Always am," you promised (bull-fucking-shit). You turned on your heel, heading towards your room as you called over your shoulder, "I got invited out tonight, by the way. To the movie thing on the North Side. Is it alright if I go, please?"

You waited at your door, hearing your mother sigh from the couch. "Yes, you can go." You smiled, this one more real than all the rest, and thanked her gently. She didn't look back at you though, and the familiar unspoken tension was back with vengeance. You couldn't wait to get out of it.

The movie night was a welcome distraction from your frustrations with the treasure hunt, the haunting memories of your dad, and the tension with your mom. It was only you, Kie, Pope and JJ that attended - John B having seemingly disappeared for the day, none of the gang having heard from him. You'd managed to leave the house with relatively no questioning from your mom, and met JJ a little way down the block.

("Woah, keep two feet away from me please," you'd joked, halting in your tracks as you spotted him standing there. He'd furrowed his brows at you, frown etched on his face. "My cover's been blown, everyone knows about us!

He just looked even more confused, eyes squinting down at you as you raised a hand and layed it across your forehead dramatically. "What'd you mean?" He questioned, eyes darting around, seemingly searching for answers in the air around you both. "What, do people know we sleep together or something?"

You'd rolled your eyes, shoving him gently when you were close enough, beginning to walk away. "No, you doof," you chuckled. "Mr. Phelps ratted me out to my mom, told her that he saw us together the other day. I had to tell her that we were just delivering groceries for Pope's dad."

"Ah," JJ nodded, shooting you a mischievous grin. "We better go into hiding then, I'm thinking... log cabin in the mountains, all fur sheets and deer heads on the walls, ooh a hot tub too."

You laughed, "Trying to whisk me away there, Maybank?"

You were joking, but his eyes were surprisingly serious as he looked at you. "Always, Grubbs.")

The field was already packed full of people by the time the four of you arrived, groups of people scattered around, idle chatter filling the air. It was being held on the Kook side of the island, and your eyes swooped over the people, most of them being Kook's themselves, expensive clothing and an aura that just screamed, I'm better than you. It made you feel uneasy, but you tried not to think about it as Kiara led you through the crowds.

"I'm so glad they're still doing this," she tells you all, sighing happily. The faces of the guys revealed they were not nearly as happy to be there as she was, while you were simply just glad to be out of your house once again. "Keep calm, carry on. Back to normal, OBX life, y'know?" She stopped once she found a decent spot, turning to the three of you. "Aren't you guys glad I made you come?"

"Ecstatic." Pope deadpanned, sarcastic lull to his tone.

"My couch was pretty comfy." JJ piped up.

"I'm just happy to be out the house, I guess." You said.

You were aware why the guys were so uncertain about being there; it wasn't so long ago that Pope was sinking Topper Thorton's boat, you and JJ accompanying, and now you were all on his side of the island. Not only that, but you knew that if Topper was to discover that it was Pope who'd done his boat in, it wouldn't just be Topper that confronted him - it would be the full Happy Days Gang. Nothing was ever a fair game when it came to Kooks.

Kiara excused herself to go buy soda's from the conession stand, and you shifted as you seated yourself on the blanket you'd bought, having opted out of bringing a chair. You sat in front of JJ, his legs touching your back.

"What's wrong with you guys?" You turned your head when Pope and JJ began to whisper, the former's panicked eyes landing on you as you frowned at the pair.

"Topper and Rafe are on my ass," Pope revealed. "They know I sunk Topper's boat."

You sighed heavily, muttering a shit as JJ grabbed his friend by the arm, focusing his attention towards him. "They can't prove it, okay. Just deny, deny, deny."

Pope nodded along, muttering along with him as you watched the pair, before your eyes moved to Kie that arrived back, her eyes narrowing as she seated herself beside Pope. "Just saw Rafe," she informed, your blood running cold. You could practically feel JJ tense from behind you. "He said, and I quote, 'Tell your boy we know what he did'. What is that?"

"Um, where is he?" JJ questioned, his tone of voice revealing his hidden anxiety.

"Right there." Kiara nodded her head, right in the direction of where Rafe Cameron and his goons sat, as you, Pope and JJ whipped around, Pope practically turning his full body in their direction. You groaned as JJ desperately urged him to turn back round, and away from their taunting eyes.

"The whole death squad!" Pope exclaimed, anxiety riding off of him in waves.

"Don't stare, bro," JJ urged, hand wrapping around Pope's shoulders. You tuned out the rest of the blonde's words as he informed you all that he'd be coming out swinging if they were to corner him, and you felt dread build as you heard his last words. "If that doesn't work, I got this right here." He patted his bag.

"JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here," Kie practically begged. "JJ, there are kids!"

You focused your attention straight ahead of you as the guys continued to argue; Pope simply telling Kie that it might go down to her line of questioning, her brown eyes darting back and forth between you all. You refused to meet her eyes, however, and were glad when the large screen ahead of you suddenly lit up. "Oh, look," you exclaimed, laughing nervously. "The movie's starting."

And it was left at that - JJ whispering deny, deny, deny to Pope once more before you all turned your attention to the screen, trying to block out the intruding thoughts of having the knowledge that the gang of Kooks were staring you down, awaiting your next move like a predator would its pray.

All was going fine - the movie was good, everyone's attention on the black and white screen. You tried not to think about Rafe and Topper, or the gold or your dad, and definitely not the feel of JJ's legs either side of you, trapping you into his hold. You let yourself believe that everything would be okay, and then Pope had revealed he needed a piss, and everything had gone to shit.

JJ had accompanied him, and the two had set off behind the screen, hidden away from Rafe's watchful eyes. They hadn't done a good enough job to be discreet though, and you immediately took notice of Rafe, Topper and Kelce making their way towards the opposite side of the screen. You swore, catching Kie's attention as she questioned, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Looks like that piss break just got a lot more complicated," you said, and realisation dawned on her face. It didn't take the pair of you long to locate the guys, all in various forms of fighting, as you and Kie screamed at them to stop. You grabbed Rafe's arm mid-swing, his fist raised and ready to send a hit to JJ's face from where Kelce had hold of him. "Stop it, you dick!"

You let out a scream as you were sent flying back from his shove, Rafe's blue eyes wild and crazed as he glared down at you. "Stay out of this, Grubbs!" He barked, and without a moments hesitation sent a fist hurling towards JJ's cheek.

Kiara had jumped on Topper's back from the small distance away from you, and you took a moment to ready yourself before hurtling towards Rafe from your crouched position, tackling him to the ground from his knees, effectively stopping his blows. He seemed stunned for a second, staring dazed up at you before he promptly threw you off of him, shoving you to the ground without a care. "Don't fucking touch me," he growled down at you, and you groaned slightly as the wind was knocked from you.

You heard JJ from somewhere above you, shouting insults at Rafe and repeating your name over and over. You lifted yourself from the ground just as Topper puts Pope in a headlock, his tight grip causing the dark skinned boys breath to leave him in choked gasps. You shoved at Rafe's back once more, sending him stumbling forward before he whipped around, hand reaching out and grabbing you by the face, tugging you so you stood nose-to-nose with him.

"I said," he ground out darkly, eyes boring into yours. "Don't fucking touch me."

You were beginning to fear what would come next before a sudden glow caught your eye from the side, the movie screen lighting up in harsh flames. Rafe dropped you, your hands moving to rub over the imprint he'd left, as you looked towards where Kie stood, JJ lighter in hand. Screams of terror echoed from the other side, as people began to flee, and it didn't take long for the three Kooks on your side to follow, sprinting quickly from the scene. Fucking cowards, you thought.

JJ's hands were on you before you could even blink, eyes earnest and worried as they looked over you, your cheeks red from the earlier grip Rafe had on you. "You good?" He asked you, slightly out of breath. You nodded, repeating the question to him. He smiled lightly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good."

The night had ended promptly there, Kie dropping you off at your respected houses. You'd bid them all a good night, and as quietly as possible made your way into your home, not wanting your mother to see the marks imprinted on your face from Rafe's fingers. Luckily, she'd already been in bed, and it didn't take long for you to crawl into yours, thoughts of the day and a certain blonde running through your mind.

The next morning you'd met the gang (save for John B, who was still seemingly missing) at the Heyward's store; your morning had been spent desperately trying to hide the red marks that Rafe's fingers had left from your mom before she could notice and ground you in your room for the rest of your life. It had a been a success for the most part, and she asked no questions as you left the house, though you took note of her uncertain expression as you bid your goodbyes.

"Have you heard from John B?" You asked Kiara who was working closest to you. You had realised the brunette boy was missing from the group upon your arrival, and you couldn't help the worries in your mind at where he could be or what could have happened to him.

"No, nothing. Have you?" She returned the question, brown eyes meeting yours as you shook your head no, a short sigh falling from her lips. "Neither have the guys. What're you thinking?" Kiara eyed you, gaze suddenly sullen. "Do you think something's happened?"

"I don't know, Kie," you told her because honestly, you didn't. John B had a target on his back, that much was for sure. Son of Big John, once owner of the proclaimed death compass. Your mind thought back to the two men that had raised your home, and chased the guys on more than one occasion, and you couldn't help but think the worst. "I'm sure he's fine, though."

Kiara nodded, though she looked anything but sure. "Yeah, you're probably right." The pair of you continued on with your respected work, JJ's and Pope's voice trailing from somewhere in the store as they talked. "You're working Midsummers, right?"

You groaned, nodding. Kiara laughed at your sour expression. "Oh yeah, second year running. To be honest, I'm surprised they let me work it after last year, my customer service must be better than my right hand hook," you joked, chuckle escaping your lips as you thought back to the Midsummer's party the year before. Your dad had gotten you the gig, because he was a weasel like that - always talking people into getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was the gas bill to be paid, and his face just didn't fit the portfolio to be serving Kook's their drinks at their fancy party, and so it had left left to you to do just that.

The night had ended with Dean Kipp on his ass after his hand had fallen on your ass, and you'd been let off with a warning as the guy clutched his bloody nose and called you everything ranging from psycho bitch to slutty pogue. Your surprise was immense when you were offered a job again this year, and a large amount of the reason you'd said yes was just so you could see the look on his face when he saw you.

"He totally deserved that," Kiara remarked, grinning. You smiled back, the pair of you sharing a laugh as you returned to your work.

For a second, you let your worries wash away as you were pulled into a conversation with the gang, your spirts high for the first time in a while. You were happy, you realised. What had started off as being the worst period of your life was slowly turning into the best, the gang and treasure hunt a blessing in disguise. The four of you shared laughs and joked back and forth as you worked, and you found yourself to be perfectly content.

All that came crashing down when Pope's father entered the shop, police officer trailing behind him. "Hey, Pope! There's someone here to see you."

You stopped dead-on, the rest of the gang halting in their movements as you all stared towards the officer you recognised as Shoupe. "Evening, officer." Pope greeted, gulping.

"I have an arrear warrant for felony destruction of property," Deputy Shoupe approached your group, handing the said warrant to Pope's dad. From beside you, JJ tensed, and when you turned to look at him, his blue eyes glanced down at you, freshly beaten face pulled into an anxious grimace as his jaw clenched. Shoupe had gotten remarkably closer, hands reaching for the handcuffs placed on his belt. "Hands where I can see 'em."

Pope glanced desperately towards JJ, who shook his head quickly, his words, though unspoken, clear as day. Deny, deny, deny. But denying wasn't going to get Pope out of handcuffs, you decided as you stepped forward, tone pleading as you demanded, "Stop, you can't just do this!"

"Out of my way please, Miss Grubbs," Shoupe dismissed you, sounding almost bored as he shoved past you, beginning to handcuff Pope who can do nothing but allow it to happen, his anxious eyes focusing on one spot as reality began to sink in.

"What did he do, Shoupe?" Mr. Heyward questioned in disbelief, watching as his son was getting arrested in front of his very eyes.

"Take a look at the warrant," the cop said simply as he begun to tug Pope out of the store.

It was chaos. Everyone was shouting, demanding answers and hurling insults. JJ is screaming something about somebody paying him, Kiara is in your ear asking what the hell was going on, Mr. Heyward is hurtling questions towards both his son and Shoupe. Passbyers stared at the scene, whispering to each other as they walked by or stopped to watch. Everything blurred together, and you could do nothing but watch the scene unfold in front of you.

Those fucking assholes, you thought. Topper Thorton came to mind, tan skin and bleached ends, million dollar smile and designer clothes. You remembered his wild gaze as he held Pope in a headlock the night before, close to almost killing him. And yet he was off somewhere doing god knows what, probably shopping for a new boat to replace the one he'd lost, not that he probably cared all that much about it in the first place. Rafe Cameron's eyes entered your mind next, and you felt a shudder run through you as you remembered them boring into yours as he held your face frighteningly tight and close to his own.

JJ's voice was suddenly breaking through your stream of thoughts - "It wasn't him!" He was calling out, eyes directed on Shoupe who paused and turned toward him, Pope's face disbelieving from behind him. "It was me."

It sunk in then what JJ was trying to do, and you whirled around from his left, quickly shaking your head as you muttered, "JJ." He ignored you however, and stepped forward towards where the officer was standing, Pope still in his arms.

"He tried to talk me out of it," JJ continued. "But I was mad because he had just been beaten up, I was sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He was stood directly in front of Shoupe, almost boot-to-boot. You couldn't see his face from where you were, and you were almost thankful for the fact as you heard him direct his words to Pope, "I can't let you take the fall for what I did. You've got too much to lose."

"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope demanded. His face was confused, just as much in shock as the rest of you. For a second, his eyes leave JJ's and land on yours, a shaky breath leaving your lips as his eyes were practically pleading.

"I'm telling the truth, for once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth," JJ announced loudly. "I took his old man's boat, too."

"What the hell?" Mr. Heyward questioned, though nobody paid him any mind. Your gaze was too focused on the unfolding scene of JJ Maybank taking the fall for something he most definitely do, and you could do nothing but watch it happen.

Your heart finally shattered when JJ's last words entered your ears, "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."

He only looked back once as he was put into the handcuffs that previously held Pope, and that wasn't until he was shoved in the back of the police car and the door was slammed behind him. You walked closer towards it, hand on Pope's back as he watched his best friend get arrested for something he'd done, and you both knew it. When JJ glanced up and out of the window, bruised face clear behind the glass, his sea blue eyes caught yours and then he smiled.

The fucker.

You could only watch helplessly as the police car was driven away and out of sight, Pope throwing his cap down in a fit of anger as he stormed off, his dad calling after him, Kie landing to your right. The dark haired girl wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you to her side gently.

"JJ'll be alright," she told you, voice confident though her face read anything but as she glanced in the direction the car had been driven off. "He always is."

But what, a voice in the back in your head nagged at you, if this time he wasn't?

And then it dawned on you: you actually really, generally, sincerely and whole-heartedly cared about JJ Maybank.

(And the thought scared you more than you would ever like to admit.)

& to the lovely people that asked to be tagged in this, love you all x @ponyboys-sunsets @mysticsthinking @danicarosaline

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ramblingguy54 · 4 years

Text

Escape From The Impossibin!: An Exercise Of Trust & Hope.

So, I was predicting for this episode to have Della & Louie bonding time together, which there were cool moments with them to be sure. However, what I really liked about today’s story was how it focused on the aftermath of FOWL’s reveal to still be very much alive to Scrooge’s horror and Beakly’s greatly underlying concern. A couple of days ago before Impossibin premiered today, I chatted with some others on Discord about what this episode’s story would explore for its overall message, which the more I thought about, the more I leaned on the idea it would be centered around the notion of trust. Let’s Get Dangerous had a consistent theme of deceitful liars being revealed who weren’t whom they appeared to be, as seen with Taurus Bulba vs Drake Mallard & Bradford’s true nature being known to Scrooge at that hour special’s ending.

Escape From The Impossibin is all about confronting the growing tension that’s become a threat to a content family lineage of adventurers, who now have to defend everything they stand for in their legacy, once again. That’s something I’ve always appreciated about DuckTales is even when it doesn’t entirely match my predictions, it finds other new ways to surprise me for what it can do. Della & Louie didn’t necessarily get the bonding time I had hoped for, which did admittedly disappoint me, but they did a serve a purpose in their own right that I’ll get to later. Anyways, the spotlight is on the older mentor figures, Scrooge McDuck and Bentina Beakly, who are all too familiar in dealing with FOWL’s antagonism before in Season 1′s episode, The Confidential Case Files Of Agent 22, that especially applies to Beakly’s past in fighting them as an agent of SHUSH for very much longer compared to Scrooge. With how much is at stake you’d very much expect there to be old feelings being drudged up, regarding Scrooge’s trust and respect for Bradford, as well as Beakly’s strict over protective nature with Webby to keep her safe from losing that optimism that makes her stand out as a beacon of hope to inspire others, which they do. FOWL isn’t like Magica or Lunaris who want to make themselves known flat out to the world with their egos. They’re very cunning and cold blooded with going about executing their plans for control of the Earth. Particularly, Bradford is the serious threat most of all because he’s the brains of this outfit giving precision in each order to those under his command. Combine Bradford’s knowledge with the muscle of Steelbeak, Rockerduck’s underhanded scheming, Gandra Dee’s scientific intellect, Black Heron’s lust for more power, and Phantom Blot’s ability to absorb all kinds of magic that gives the McDucks’ a severe scenario they’ve never faced. FOWL is the right combination to put an end to Scrooge’s adventuring because Bradford has kept a close eye on him for so many years. Bradford has seen plenty of Scrooge at his total best and worst most of all. He’s studied upon every detail of Scrooge’s life, for who knows how many years, and is finally putting all of it to use against him, where we get to see the extent of just how well Bradford can read every one of his moves. Lunaris’ intellect was simply a figurative puddle compared to what Bradford managed to accomplish with his high IQ.

The scary thing is Scrooge knows this reality himself, too.

That’s one of my favorite elements of Impossibin’s purpose. We get to see Scrooge seriously doubt his abilities. In episodes, like The Most Dangerous Game Night and The 87 Cents Solution, Scrooge has always prided himself in being a very sharp individual who could see every angle and any detail that others couldn’t. Bradford, on the other hand, rivals Scrooge’s thinking that puts an eerie perspective on things for the old man. Scrooge always thought to be one step ahead of the game, but then realizes that someone who’s been by his side for so very long played him like a fiddle all those years. Who’s to say Scrooge isn’t probably thinking back on stuff such as Bradford shutting down his rescue operation for Della, controlling his money usage, letting Louie hang around Bradford in The Richest Duck In The World, finalizing Gyro’s inventions, etc? Scrooge realizes he’s had a dangerous character around the family manor all those years, which makes him doubt his ability to trust himself in protecting everything that he holds importantly in life. Scrooge isn’t just thinking he’s been fooled, he’s doubting every aspect of what made him competent to begin with. Doesn’t help among this moment of self reflection Bradford is there to further rub in that harsh reality of how much he knows about Scrooge.

This moment gave me chills because it completely put a spin upon the story’s concept. I figured that FOWL would hack Scrooge’s security system, with help from Gandra Dee’s abilities, and I’m glad it went this route, since it shows how dangerous things are this time. They’re not even safe within the confines of their own manor anymore, considering Bradford knows every nook and cranny of it. Scrooge thought only he knew the security system’s password, given its based on the amount of all money in his money bin, but Bradford covered that crucial detail, too. Bradford isn’t leaving any loose ends toward Scrooge in how he’ll go about using any little thing against him for future reference. That’s what makes the stakes higher here than compared to Lunaris’ invasion. This is a much more personal story between a clash of ideals with Adventuring vs Control. Lunaris lacked that emotional connection here Bradford is making Scrooge have to face that adds another layer of tension to this situation. Bradford wants Scrooge to know, “I have control over you. There is nothing you know that I’ve already figured out about yourself.”, and going about hacking the robotic version of himself is the best way to send home that message to him. It can also be interpreted as symbolism for Scrooge fighting his own insecurities when Bradford takes control of the robot to start attacking.

I need you, the two most cunning individuals I know, to spot any weaknesses.

Now, Della & Louie did serve a big purpose, despite the Plot A point focusing greatly on Scrooge’s existential dilemma, for they were there to remind Scrooge of just how much of an impact his life style has had on them. Della & Louie’s teamwork together throughout the episode is a perfect way to give Scrooge a reality check reminder for how skilled they are as adventurous fighters against unknown dangers. After all, Scrooge passed on his skills to Della, who’d later pass down her intellectual skills to him, too. Again, tying into the whole theme of legacy and what not about how much family can bring out the best in each other. If it wasn’t for what Scrooge had taught them, then he wouldn’t have been saved by Louie’s defining act of being a badass, by willingly diving into the pile of money, which got hit by a gravity changing rosa rune from the robot and ended up crushing it. I wanted to see more mature Louie, so him lifting Scrooge up about how much pride he has in the family lineage was a great nod to it. That in turn, allowed Scrooge to remember why he and their family are strong together. You know, after recent events that have happened in my life, seeing legacy be explored in DuckTales Season 3 means a lot to me now more than ever.

As for Beakly’s B Plot, in terms of how it ties into a neat bow with Scrooge’s story, shows how intense she’s getting at the notion of eventually facing FOWL again. Honestly, I’m not surprised if she’s getting flashbacks of whatever painful or traumatic events happened to her in those Agent 22 days. I mean, for God’s sake, she tells Webby to straight up incapacitate Huey, who was already so scared. Something Webby refuses to agree with as the best course of training methods to better prepare against the greater threat. Beakly’s characterization has always fascinated me with how well she guards her vulnerability, kind of like Goldie in a way, but the difference here is outta great concern for others rather than herself. My mind can’t stop thinking about this scene, as there could most likely be underlying context for why Beakly is getting so worked up over this training. It seems Beakly is carrying a tremendous weight on her shoulders, probably some heavy angst, that it looks like she wants to say, but can’t because of bigger story reasons we’ll find out later in Season 3′s final batch of episodes. Special mention to Donald Duck putting his foot down on Beakly’s very intense training session. Donald knows the trials and errors of what it means to be a parent. He was once very overly protective of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, but learned to let them experience the world for what it is and not hold them back, so I liked how it ties into Beakly’s dilemma of trying to protect Webby from FOWL’s heartless nature.

Beakly’s plot may have not gotten much focus, but it did a very good job setting up more angst to come between her and Webby’s relationship. Things are gonna get very complicated between them when more things come to light. I’m keeping an eye on Huey’s line specifically. When he said, “The one thing we know for sure is that we trust each other, right?”, Beakly did want to bring herself to apologize of course, but I also think she was close to wanting to confess something else to Webby, too. I’m expecting this moment to be called back to when stuff hits the fan with Beakly’s past and whatever Webby’s origins are.

Escape From the Impossibin may have unsettling stuff lurking around the corner with how FOWL managed to distract them with the security system, so they could steal away every missing mystery the family has found so far, but there’s a glimmer of light in all of that darkness. A light that is a reminder of what makes the McDuck family an unstoppable force of trust, hope, and most importantly love. Frank said that things were gonna start going into overdrive with FOWL’s battle against McDuck and he wasn’t kidding around. I’m so overjoyed were getting more episodes in November after this episode finished because that would’ve been a painful wait. Season 3 is gonna start giving things it built up a big pay off and I’m totally here for that!

#ducktales spoilers #escape from the impossibin!#ducktales season 3 #scrooge mcduck #bentina beakly #webby vanderquack #ducktales 2017 #della duck #louie duck

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rvmmm21 · 4 years

Text

. scent .

summary : sheltered omega wendy doesn’t heed the warnings she gets about wandering into secluded parts of the woods. so naturally, when alpha joy - who’s sitting out her rut in the exact same location - sniffs her out, she doesn’t stand a chance.

requested : yep, by rvmmm21 to rvmmm21.

[alpha(g!p)joy x omega!wendy]

tw : dubcon, overstimulation.

(my first proper a/b/o! good practice, i guess but idk why i decided to go down such a weirdly hard route when i could’ve just made them soft but uh. also it feels weird to write g!p as top? if you know what i mean? i like writing my g!p characters as bottoms or submissive... but oh well.)

...

Seungwan has walked right into the wolves’ den.

Stumbled, more like… but she doesn’t know it yet.

She should really enjoy these final moments of freedom she has while she still can. While she still has a clear head. Although how clear the head of an oblivious young omega – who has willingly – willingly – left the safety of her village to gather various kinds of herbs only found in the densest, most secluded area in the woodlands – must be, is questionable. Dangerously questionable. It’s not like she hasn’t grown up huddled round by the fire with her big sister, listening to their grandmother tell them stories about vicious monsters that lurked around in the shadows, just waiting to devour young children. Hell, it wasn’t like she hadn’t been warned prior to her departure that this wasn’t something she could just treat like a hop and a skip in the park. Oh no, no. There were real threats out there. Blood-sucking demons, perhaps not, but there were threats much realer than that. Threats who wouldn’t hesitate to make an absolute meal out of delicate little things like her.

Old wives’ tales are everywhere, Seungwan thinks now she’s older, just so kids won’t go out and play past dinner time. Monsters? Hah, as if there could ever be such things. She bids her family goodbye and sets off until she’s past their point of vision, nothing but stubbornness and idealism shielding her from any sort of danger. It’s still the afternoon, so she has plenty of time.

Plus, it isn’t like this route is ‘new’. Back when she was a child, her and the neighbourhood kids would often explore the ‘Forbidden Forest’, as they called it, on dares or out of morbid curiosity. Seungwan had her fair share of ‘I dare you’s’, and - once she had gotten over the initial excitement of going against everything her parents had ever told her - had found the woods to be rather serene. Somewhat of an escape, if you please.

So she knew her way there like the back of her hand. Every twist, every turn, every slope and every dip; memorised as well as the tune she hums to herself as she begins the tedious task of gathering. The shade of the trees is marvellous, and it puts Seungwan in an extra good mood. So surely when she’s exhausted from filling her basket with herbs and cooking flowers – surely when she feels the ache in her back from bending over so much – it isn’t totally unreasonable for her to lay back on the trunk of a tree and… rest her eyes? Just for a while?

It can’t hurt, can it?

Yes. As crimson pupils and a predatory snarl will soon tell her, it very much can.

Unbeknownst to the naïve, unconscious omega, her fate was sealed the minute she set foot into the woods she thought she knew so well. This was never hers. It’s hers. The greenery, the trees, and every shadow they casted belonged to her. This is her territory; alpha territory. And this is where the cruellest one of them all intends to wait her rut out. It is nothing but a mild inconvenience to her, a sorry stroke of luck, that Park Sooyoung is no longer part of a pack. Then again, killing another in-pack alpha for no good reason will do that to you. She had left the group without a shred of remorse for their fallen member; it was survival of the fittest, anyway. And in Sooyoung’s case, a hard-hitting reminder that wherever she may go, raging jealousy will always follow. So here she is, secluded and alone, not having anything to take her frustrations out on.

Until now.

It’s her scent that sets the alpha off, all bright and innocent, and it has her suppressing a hungry growl as she pokes through the air with a heightened sense of smell. Finally, through a clearing, she finds her prize, propped up against the oak, eyes closed and dreaming. Dreaming sweet things, of course. There’s no way anything so fragile-looking, so peaceful – so delicious – could dream of anything other than rainbows and sunshine. What on earth is a human doing taking a –

Hang on, Sooyoung sniffs the air again… no. No way. A human omega? Oh. She drinks the sight of her; tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny everything. She’s so incredibly petite, Sooyoung wonders how she doesn’t have an alpha of her own yet. Either that, or she just can’t smell past the density of her own arousal to locate the lingering scent of any potential alpha. If she was really unbound, Sooyoung would love to change that, of course. But she’s not sure she has the space in her head right now for flirting and small talk. There’s a demand in her trousers that’s far too pulsing to ignore. A demand that soon has her creeping up to the blissfully oblivious girl.

…

Cinnamon eyes blink sleepily open at the particularly loud sound of a crushed leaf.

She sees Sooyoung. Then she sees the ravenous glint in her pupils.

Then it’s a struggle. Everything’s a struggle. From trying to kick free of the vice-like grip dragging her face down and backwards, to the panicked efforts of lungs expanding under the weight atop her, everything’s a bloody struggle. A good fight she’s putting up, too, Sooyoung has to admit. If only she weren’t so much taller and so much stronger, Seungwan might not be washing all her determination down the drain. It’s just too easy to flip her over and pin her down, and Sooyoung gladly lets the little omega writhe and wriggle until she’s too tired, too defeated to do anything other than meet her gaze with innocent, frightened eyes and ragged breaths. Park Sooyoung is alpha, undisputed.

God does she even know what she looks like right now?! Sooyoung’s mind goes berserk at the image of the omega trapped under her. Cheeks tinted a deep rose, caramel locks all tousled like she’s just woken up – which, I mean… – and the overwhelming smell of… just her. So soft, so warm, so vulnerable.

Sooyoung barely manages to snarl down at her with how much that lust cloud has expanded in her brain. “What are you doing here, omega?”

She sounds angry, but Seungwan can tell it’s much more than that. The hardness she feels pressed against her core is a pretty big giveaway, for starters.

“I was j-just resting… p-please don’t hurt me,” she whimpers, shivering under the alpha’s scrutiny but too terrified to look away. “Plea – please let me go!”

Though even Seungwan knows that was just a breath worth saving.

The response to her tearful pleas is a deep, throaty laugh and powerfully concentrated alpha pheromones that force their way up her nose, suffocating her. It’s overbearing, and it’s more than enough to trigger her instincts. Seungwan bares her neck, head lolling back onto the soil below them. Feeling those sharp incisors nudging the delicate skin of her throat has the helpless omega whining in submission, unconsciously tilting her chin further back so Sooyoung can clamp down on her throbbing pulse point.

After dutifully marking her, the alpha can take it no longer. She only needs one hand to hold Seungwan down while she unzips her trousers to free herself, hard and aching with the need to mate. It’s too much work to even think about stripping her, and Sooyoung simply pushes her skirt to her waist and yanks her panties to the side. Seungwan lets out a tiny gasp; the late evening mist is crisp and frigid against her thighs and it makes her feel slightly feverish.

Although she has no time to worry about a stupid draft when there’s a scorching heat now overtaking her. She doesn’t even realise how wet she is until she feels two fingers slide far too easily inside her, curling upwards and stimulating the spot that makes her cry out. A sinful grin tugs at the corners of Sooyoung’s mouth when she feels Seungwan try to push herself further onto her fingers, hips on autopilot, grinding down like she has no control over her own actions. Seems like little omega is a lot more worked up than she’d thought. She throbs with desire as she watches the smaller girl fuck herself on her fingers with her eyes rolled back in her head, but it’s so mesmerising that she almost forgets her own needs. She remembers just in time, though; just in time to tear Seungwan’s orgasm from her, laughing as she grabs her hips to hold her steady.

A small whine fills Sooyoung’s ears and she looks down. “Aw, what’s wrong? What do you need?”

It’s too adorable when she feels those trembling fingers paw weakly at her chest in a silent plea for more. Still, she leans forward, letting the girl grab onto the fabric of her shirt. “Voice up, little one,” she purrs seductively, “I have no idea what you want, and I’d never take advantage of a poor, defenceless omega.”

Seungwan tries to resist, but it’s hopeless. Her body needs it.

“Alpha,” she whispers, sending electricity up Sooyoung’s spine at the sound of her title, “plea – ah!”

Seungwan sucks in a breath, eyes screwing shut as the fingers suddenly enter again, teasing her where she aches to be filled completely.

“Alpha, please what, hm?” Sooyoung asks, a little sinister, a little playful. “Please stop? Is that it? I can do that.”

She removes her digits from her dripping heat, acting as though they were really done here.

“N-no! … please don’t leave!” Seungwan can’t help sounding as desperate as she looks, whiny and ridiculously needy, “… please… please fuck me…”

Oh, anything for you, baby.

In one fluid motion, Sooyoung sheathes her length right the way to the hilt. Tears well up in Seungwan’s eyes and cloud her vision with sheer pleasure when she finally gets what she needs. Sooyoung won’t lie either, she’s glad she did it when she did… who knows how much longer she could’ve looked at that pretty face just begging for her cock. Their combined fluid allows the alpha to build a steady, albeit punishing, rhythm, and Seungwan sobs at the arousal burning through, inner thighs coated with slick that continues to drip out of her.

“So tight, little one,” the alpha growls, nipping at a collarbone when she feels the omega’s walls clenching down on her every time she moves to pull out, greedily sucking her back in. Seungwan lets out a restricted sigh at the feeling; the girth stretching her open, the way the ridge of her head rubs mercilessly against her inner walls. It takes a few jerks for her to realise she isn’t being held down anymore. Well, not by Sooyoung, anyway. Her own burning desire still has her very much pinned in place.

For a good moment, Seungwan can only hear the wet noise whenever Sooyoung’s hips meet her butt as she decorates the silence with her own little moans and gasps. Not even the sounds of the surrounding nature registers in her foggy mind.

Sooyoung reaches down in between the omega’s legs, prodding around in search for her clit. She finds it with ease, and a keening whine erupts from Seungwan’s throat as the pad of her thumb rolls against the swollen thing with the perfect pressure. This alpha is immaculate at multi-tasking, she thinks, involuntarily bucking her hips up towards her, begging for more stimulation, begging her to never stop.

Sounding pathetic again is the absolute last thing she wants to do, but – “please, please alpha… I can’t take it, please let me cum…”

“Soo – young,” the alpha corrects her between thrusts, voice noticeably huskier as she gets closer herself.

Okay, okay, anything.

“… ple – ea – se… Soo – young,” she’s panting out now, unable to make a sound louder than a hoarse whisper, “… I’m – gonna…”

Sooyoung feels her tense up, and takes it as a cue to thrust deeper, if that was even possible. With a final gasp, Seungwan’s cumming. Hard. She’s sobs freely, shuddering and twitching at the sparks of heat ripping through her, entire body trembling. It’s immensely pleasurable… for a while.

And that’s when it all becomes too much.

“Ah! Sooyoung, Sooyoung… no, please… I – I came, it hurts,” she whimpers. She carelessly grasps at whatever is around her, trying to shift off the cock still pounding into her, and away from the pressure on her sensitive clit – but Sooyoung won’t let her.

“Don’t you dare…” she warns.

Her nails dig into her thighs, leaving pink crescent marks in the soft flesh, probably hard enough to bruise. She holds the squirming omega in place as she chases her own release, knowing she’s too drained and too spent to put up a fight. The teary omega can do little but lay there and take the overstimulation that’s driving her mad, shattering any other physical sensation she thought she had. She’s limp, but that goddamned tightness is slowly rising again, overwhelming and awful. Oh my god no, she can’t cum again, she can’t, it’s impossible. But apparently, so were the existence of vicious monsters lurking in the shadows of the woods, waiting for their chance to pounce on unsuspecting little things like her – so, she knows there are some lessons to be garnered from what she assumed was impossible and what was really not.

The thought of a second orgasm is terribly daunting, but Sooyoung’s cock and her thumb that never left her clit were pushing her closer and closer, giving her all the stimulation she needs and the heat is rising and she doesn’t think she can stop herself and she’s – she’s – oh god, she’s –

Seungwan’s vision goes stark white as she’s tipped over the edge again, falling apart with a raspy wail.

That does it for Sooyoung. The moaning, the shivering, the way velvet walls tighten around her shaft when she makes her cum a second time has her groaning as she gives a few final thrusts.

“Oh baby, yeah, I’m cumming,” she grunts, curling over Seungwan to lock her in her arms as she pumps into her, fucking her into the ground, the omega’s quivering heat milking every last drop from her.

They stay like that, both too tired to move. When Sooyoung eventually props herself up and pulls out, she’s rewarded with a feeling of satisfaction and the wonderful sight of the little omega who’s blinking wearily up at her, letting out a tiny yawn. Sooyoung wants to slap herself for mating one this adorable. Not for anything other than the fact that she can already see herself weak at the knees for this girl, and she can see herself tending to her every need, when she’s supposed to be the one in charge.

Still, now that she’s found her, she’s not letting go.

Seungwan’s fast asleep by the time Sooyoung gathers her up in her arms, mindful of the scrapes and cuts her poor little omega sustained from their first encounter. She’s so glad she got to her before anyone else did. She’s so tiny and warm and all hers.

...

i’m so sorry, i really don’t know what the heck ‘cooking flowers’ are i clearly just made that up it sounds so dumb lol.

also it’s hard to write smut when the words you hate typing are literally all the words you need to describe the scene??

#red velvet #omegaverse #red velvet omegaverse #wenjoy #wendy #joy #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #smut #it's pretty obvious i need to learn more about omegaverse #and smut #idk if i like top g!p #bottom g!p ftw lol #unprompted rvmmm21 #kpop scenarios #girl group scenarios

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staticscreenwriting · 4 years

Text

Both - Angel Reyes

Here’s a short little something because I missed writing Angel. It’s inspired by the song “both” by Ingrid Andress.

“ You can kiss me goodnight, or kiss me goodbye Baby, love me or don't But you can't do, you can't do both “

The rational part of (Y/N)’s brain tells her she shouldn’t be bothered by this. The rational part of her brain yells at her not to take this to heart. It’s nothing personal, the way his hand rests on the other girls hip. The way she whispers sweet, probably naughty things, into his ear. The way he hasn’t really paid any attention to (Y/N) all night.

What they are, it’s casual, uncomplicated. It’s fun. Nothing serious.

The rational part of her brain knows all of that but her heart? Her heart’s a completely different story. Her heart burns with red hot rage. With jealousy. With sadness.

Angel leans against the bar, a barely dressed girl pressed against his side, trailing her fingers up and down his arm, slipping under his cut as he sips his beer and laughs along to Coco’s story.

She hates that she knows what his skin feels like under her own fingertips. Hates that the taste of his lips still lingers on hers.

It all started out so uncomplicated. She was just a girl at a bar that caught his eyes and he was just this rough but absolutely charming guy who swept her off her feet. They spent that entire night dancing and laughing and kissing and life felt magical.

Life always feels magical when Angel’s around. No matter how casual it is what they’re having, it holds meaning — to her at least. Because Angel makes life fun, he makes loving fun. Those words used to scare her, hell they still do. But it’s the truth and the truth demands to be spoken, demands to be felt, demands to be acknowledged. Even if it’s just on the inside. Even if she only admits it to herself.

That very truth is what’s slowly tearing her heart apart though. You don’t fall in love with your casual hookup. You don’t fall in love with an MC Member and, for god’s sake, you don’t fall in love with Angel Reyes.

His eyes meet hers across the room and (Y/N) hates the way it sends shivers down her spine and makes the butterflies in her stomach cause havoc. And he has the audacity to wink at him. As another girl has her hands on his chest.

(Y/N) hates this. The being pushed to the sidelines. The constant wondering. Most of all though, she hates that she willingly puts herself through this. Because she’d rather have him like this than not at all.

It’s not like her feelings are entirely based on her own illusions or fantasies. A spare change of clothes of his still sits in her laundry basket. The smell of his cologne still lingers on her sheets. The last text on her phone from “2:12 am” reads “ I miss you “ with a black heart emoji next to it. She replied with “come over.” and a red heart. He came. Then he came. Then he stayed the night. Cuddled her. Kissed her. Caressed her skin and let her kiss him where he now lets another girl touch him.

When she first started dating, (Y/N) was quick to learn that men, that boys, don’t like when girls make a claim, when they become possessive. Cool girls don’t do that. Desirable girls don’t do that. They are suave and unbothered and don’t take anything too serious. It is what it is and they play along with the boy’s games and say yes and thank you and “yeah no strings attached, that’s fine with me. “

At 16 she really believed in those words as they fell from her lips. Made herself believe that none of it bothered her. That her heart was secured behind high walls of concrete and bricks.

Growing up though, she realised that those words held no truth. They didn’t make her cool or suave. They made her vulnerable and easy and sad. There was never a “yes” or a “ thank you “ she said for her own good. Never one she spoke because she meant it. To be cool and desirable meant to give up part of herself in order to seem unbothered, to numb a part of her heart that was slowly but surely crumbling away.

She’s not unbothered now. Doesn’t even make herself believe it for a second. Every part of her is fully aware that she is undeniably in love with Angel Reyes.

And yet she plays along, if only for everyone else.

A few nights ago, when the air was still warm from the long summer day that had just given way for the night, he came around. Didn’t call before, didn’t even text. He just showed up on her front porch, tired eyes, tired bones.

He knows he’s always welcome. Open arms are always right there for him to fall back into. Even when she’s angry, even when she’s sad. A life without Angel Reyes is not one she wants to live, not one she even wants to imagine.

So he sat down next to her and they shared a beer and a cigarette and an uncountable amount of kisses. And it felt right, like this is where they were meant to be. Beside each other. Together.

Looking up at the stars, the air felt light and like it was asking for secrets to be shared. So that’s what they did. With every word tumbling from his lips, (Y/N) fell more and more in love with Angel. Not for the things he said, but the strength that she could see in him. One that let him persevere. One that carried him through all the hardships life had thrown at him.

Angel Reyes opened his heart to her that night and how foolish of her to believe that meant something. That anything about them had changed them.

You don’t tell a girl your dreams and hopes and fears and then let another woman touch you. Not if the she means anything to you.

After aking one last drink from her beer that has by now gone warm, (Y/N) places the empty bottle on the bar and makes her way outside. Maybe the cool night air can help her get a clear head. Forget about the war raging inside her.

Between staying silent and keeping Angel in her life and finally shouting out all the thoughts swimming through her mind, breaking her own heart.

“ Hey, where you going? You just got here.”

His voice does both, send her butterflies into a frenzy and give her an anger induced headache.

She takes a big breath, then another, then a third. Tries to calm her nerves. Tries to be cool. Collected. Tries to be 16 again and the kind of girl boys liked. The easy one. The one that didn’t take just gave.

“ You not having a good time? “

Something snaps. (Y/N) isn’t entirely sure what brings it on. Maybe the fact that he doesn’t even realise he did something wrong. Maybe the fact that he’s so casual about everything. Unbothered. Unbothered. Unbothered.

“ No, Angel. I am not having a good time. “ she yells, turning back around and facing him with fury in her eyes.

“ Woah, babe. What’s the matter? “

What is the matter, (Y/N)? You got in over your head. Let yourself fall when you knew there was no one there to catch you.

“ I — god, Angel I can’t do this. “

“ What do you mean? Do what? “

There’s realisation in his eyes. He knows. He gets it. He understands and he’s — scared?

“ This — “ she replies and gestures between the two of them “ us. “

“ Huh?”

“ Don’t huh me, Angel. I just — my heart can not take seeing you get cosy with another woman. I can’t put myself through this. I can’t stand there and pretend it doesn’t hurt. “

Angel is quiet for a second before clearing his throat. “ You knew what this was before it started. We were on the same page here. “

“ I know that. But things change, Angel. Feelings develop. You’re not really helping either. You constantly blur the lines. You make it impossible for me to understand what you want. You push me away one moment then come over and spend the night. You tell me you miss me, then hardly pay attention to me when I’m around. It kills me, Angel.”

“ I never meant to hurt you.”

She knows that. She always knew that and even if she didn’t the pain in his voice makes it abundantly clear. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“ I know. But I need you to say something. I can’t keep going on like this. I’ll just hurt myself in the process. I am not 16 anymore, holding myself back and suppressing my feelings because it makes the boys like me more. I am over that. We’re adults, Angel. It’s either you want me completely or not at all. You can’t have both. Not anymore. “

He doesn’t say anything. For a long long time he doesn’t say a single word. Maybe that’s worse than him outright rejecting her. Uncertainty is the killer of all joy.

This is all the answers she needs.

The music and the chatter from the clubhouse slowly fade in the background as she gets into her car, turns on the ignition and drives off. Tears pearl down her cheeks and a burning pain soars through her heart but maybe this can be the start of something new. Maybe you have to fall apart in order to put yourself back together and become whole again.

It’s 2:12 am and the world is silent when (Y/N) gets woken up by a pounding on her front door. Rapid and impatient and fucking loud.

As she swings open the door her heart deceives her by skipping a beat. Angel looks phenomenal against the dark backdrop of a Santo Padre night. Like a vision of all things she ever desired. Like an image straight from a dream of hers.

He’s all soft eyes and warmth. How could a man like that be the one that broke her heart?

“ What are you doing here? “

“ You told me to chose so I’m choosing. “

“ Okay.”

“ I want all of you. Every little piece, every fault and quirk and all your imperfections. I want to spend nights looking at the stars and for you to tell me about the constellations even though I know all you told me was absolute bullshit you just made up on the spot. I wanna watch cheesy telenovelas with you at 4 am. I wanna take you out dancing. Kiss you. Fuck you. Love you. All of it. I know I am not a good man. I will never be the man you deserve but I can try to be the best man I can possibly be. Because you’re worth it and I love you.”

“ Angel, I — “

“ I was afraid — of opening up and shit. You aren’t the only one who held back on saying what they’re actually feeling. I thought by holding you at arm’s length I could, fuck I don’t know, I thought I could make it easier on both of us. Keep myself from fucking up and keep you from realising what a piece of shit I am. “

“ You’re not a piece of shit, Angel. I want to believe you but I need to you be serious about this.”

“ I am. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. You want me to scream it from the rooftops? ‘cause I fucking will. Everyone can know. “

He steps away from the door and into the street, spreading out his arms as far as he can before he yells from the top of his lungs. “ I love you, (Y/N). Hey everyone, sorry to bother you but I love this woman. I adore her! “

Life doesn’t work like the movies. Relationships aren’t fixed in a night and hearts don’t get put together by some grand romantic gesture.

But maybe, (Y/N) thinks, maybe sometimes we can learn a thing or two from the movies. Like how to be soft and how to forgive. And how to let your heart be vulnerable even when it’s broken and hurt because there’s a silly guy with a big heart standing in the middle of your street proclaiming his love to you.

So she lets herself fall, again. And maybe it’s dumb and irresponsible but at least it’s true.

When her arms wrap around his middle, it feels like home. When her lips meet his, it feels like magic.

“ You don’t ever have to pretend with me. You don’t ever gotta hold back. I want all of you, all the passion and all the feelings, aright? You’re so fucking cool when you let yourself love me “ Angel murmurs against her hair before he places a kiss on her head.

The rational part of (Y/N)’s brain tells her she shouldn’t be so reckless, shouldn’t put her heart back in his hands so carelessly.

(Y/N)’s never been one to listen to the rational part of her brain though.

#angel reyes x reader #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans imagine #mayans mc fanfic #mayans fanfic #mayans mc fanfiction

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