#today is my partner’s birthday and i can’t see them because of issues at home with work and my freedom depending on my parents’ feelings

[pensat-i-fet]

Making memories together (Leon Goretzka x Reader)

**Got this little request and took it as an opportunity to test writing about topics I’m not neccessarily as comfortable with. I hope you enjoy the result. I think it’s pretty cute 🥰**

Word count: 1052

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Is she sleeping?”, Leon nodded when he got inside the room but you couldn’t help but notice he seemed worried. “You ok?”

“Not really”, he said, sitting down next to you. “I found out today that our match has been moved to another day”.

“Why is that an issue?”

“It’s now on Sunday”.

You frowned wondering why that was an issue until you realised what Leon meant. Sunday was your little baby’s first birthday.

“Honey, it’s okay. We can move the party to another day”.

“But her birthday is on Sunday, not another day”.

“Yes, and she’s also turning one. That party is for us and our friends, not so much for her. She’ll be sleeping most of the time and won’t remember it”.

You tried to laugh and joke about it but weren’t getting the reaction you hoped from your partner.

A little cry saved you from dealing with this for now since it was now your turn to go see what happened to little Sophia.

When you got to her room, she was still sleeping. Probably just had a dream that made her cry for a couple of seconds. Looking at her, you couldn’t believe she would be turning one in just a couple of days. It seemed like it was only yesterday when you were coming back home from the hospital with her in your arms, looking so small and fragile.

Kissing her head softly enough so as to not disturb her, you went back to your room and found Leon staring at the ceiling.

“Hey, stop feeling guilty, ok?”

“How? I’m always missing big moments because of my job. It’s really annoying”.

You put your head on his chest, cuddling to his side to give him some comfort. “That happens to a lot of people. But your job just makes that a bit worse. It also means your daughter will have everything she could ever ask for so you know, there are positives and negatives”.

“I just don’t want her to grow up feeling like I’m never there for her. Money can’t buy those special memories for her”.

“She won’t. We’ll do everything possible so she doesn’t, ok?”

He nodded, still not looking so sure. And you were now thinking about how you could show him you meant your words.

                                            **

“Come in, they should be home already”, you told your mum, who was going to stay with you on Saturday night to get everything ready for Sophia’s birthday. “Where are my favourite people?”

“Living room!”

When you got there, you found Leon on the floor with Sophia crawling around him and hitting him with a toy.

“Having a good time?”, you laughed.

“The best”.

You sat down next to them, trying to kiss your little daughter but she was too busy crawling. So you kissed her father instead.

“I have to leave in half an hour”.

“We’ll Facetime you tomorrow after the match, ok? So you can wish Soph a happy birthday at the time she was born. You’d be done playing then”.

“I’ll be waiting for the call”.

Before leaving, Leon showered you and little Sophia with kisses. And you couldn’t help but smile knowingly. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

                                       **

When you woke up on Sunday, you ran to see your baby and sang happy birthday to her. It really was silly to make such a fuzz…she just wanted to eat. But you still gave her a new toy, not being able to wait for the party to give her some of the gifts.

“Go get ready, honey. I’ll get her dressed”, told you your mum.

“You sure?”

“Yes, that way we can leave as soon as possible. Go now. I have this under control”.

A quick shower later, you put on your Bayern shirt and got all the baby stuff you could need, and then some, before heading to where your mum was taking photos of her granddaughter.

“You two done taking selfies?”

“Yes”, she laughed, “let’s go surprise your daddy, Sophia”.

The match was going to start at 5 pm, which meant it would be definitely finished by 8 pm, the time when Sophia was born one year ago. You always joked saying she had waited until that time because that was her dad’s number. It really felt like a very special coincidence.

“He’s really trying to get that goal, huh?”

You laughed at your mum’s comment because she was so right. Leon was desperate to score so he could dedicate it to his daughter. And that melted your heart. So when he finally scored, you screamed so loud that a lot of people around you turned to look at you.

Leon ran to the camera to do a little celebration for Sophia, not knowing his daughter was closer to him than he expected.

When the match ended, your mum, Sophia and you made your way to the dressing room area. The team knew about you being there so you didn’t need to worry about how to get there.

After the interviews and the shower, Leon was sitting down with his phone in his hand, waiting for you to call him.

“Bro, go outside for a second”, said one of his teammates.

“I can’t, I’m waiting to Facetime with my daughter”.

“I know, just go outside. Trust me”.

He got up and left the dressing room, curious but also worried he’d miss the call somehow. But when he was outside, he realised he didn’t need to worry about his phone anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sophia didn’t want to miss seeing her daddy score on her birthday”.

Leon finally remembered how to walk and moved towards you, giving you a quick kiss and taking Sophia in his arms. He always felt so much pride and love seeing her wear her little Bayern kit with “Papa” on the back.

“Happy birthday, my love. I’m so happy I can be with you today”.

“And at the right time”, you said to him, showing him your phone. It was 8 pm.

“Thank you for making this possible. It means the world to me”.

“I know”, you said, putting your arms around his waist. “You might miss some moments of Sophia’s life and I’ll miss others. But we’ll make enough memories together for her. Don’t worry about that”.

[erimeows]

Wanted You

It’s a cool summer day when Gohan turns twenty one and decides to ask Piccolo the question that’s been bothering him since he was a teenager.

The two of them are sitting on a cliff’s edge that overlooks the long river by Gohan’s home on Mountain Paozu. The grass is green and lush, blowing in the wind that’s just light enough to be comfortable so long as Gohan is wearing long sleeves. Piccolo is in his usual attire; purple gi, blue sash, brown shoes, white cape and shoulder pads, purple and white turban. Gohan is dressed in a black sweatshirt and matching pants, an outfit that Chichi accused of not being nice enough for his birthday celebration. He wore it anyway in preparation for his time with Piccolo- just in case the Namekian wanted to train with him.

It’s his twenty-first birthday and his mom threw him a small celebration. Initially, she insisted on throwing a huge party with everyone she knows, but Gohan pushed back enough until the guest list was narrowed down to her, his dad, all of his dad’s friends, Goten, and his friends from high school; Erasa, Videl, and Sharpner. It was still far larger than Gohan really wanted it to be, but it was better than last year. After the party started to dissipate, Gohan snuck out to find one of the only people he actually wanted to see today; Piccolo, who didn’t attend the party because of the crowd.

They’ve been talking for hours. Gohan has his head on Piccolo’s shoulder. It’s a gesture of affection that Gohan got in the habit of doing a decade ago, but it’s different now. It means something other than what it used to mean, something less pure. Gohan remains just as baffled by his ever-changing feelings as he has been since his sixteenth birthday when the realization came crashing down on him. They did the very same thing they’re doing now that day, and a lot of other days, too. Gohan sighs and snuggles into Piccolo’s shoulder, not daring to speak his thoughts out loud. His romantic love for Piccolo grows stronger each day and he doesn’t know how to tackle the subject.

Does Piccolo even feel romantic love for others? He’s never talked about it, and Gohan has never asked. But, he figures now is better than never.

“Piccolo, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask, doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll answer, though,” The Namekian shrugs and crosses his arms, which makes Gohan’s head shift in a way that’s uncomfortable.

The half-Saiyan sits up straight and stares down into his lap as he fidgets with his fingers.

“Have you ever thought about dating?” 

“Dating…? Yes, I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think I’ll ever partake.”

Gohan’s heart shatters into tiny pieces right then and there. It’s a very Piccolo-like answer. Part of him expected it. Still, it stings like stepping on one of Goten’s legos. 

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to date earthlings, they die too fast and couldn’t possibly understand me… And they’re most of this planet’s population. Your father and Vegeta are taken, not that I’d date them anyway… Buu is just weird, and I have no interest in going back to New Namek for the sole purpose of finding a partner when the few people I love are all here. Then, there is one person who’s an exception to all of it, I suppose, but I wouldn’t dare say anything to them about my true feelings… I expect to be alone for the rest of my life in that sense.”

Gohan sits quietly for a moment. He supposes with the whole ‘earthling’ thing that he himself is out of the running since he’s half earthling, so who is it that Piccolo could possibly be in love with? Another Namekian? A full-blooded Saiyan? 

“Oh… Who is it that you do like?”

A pause, and then, Piccolo shakes his head and stands up with a sad, far-off look in his obsidian eyes.

“...I can’t tell you that in good conscience, Gohan. It’s complicated and I don’t want to burden you with it.”

“Okay, um, do you want to spar now?”

“Sure.”

~

A few days pass after that. The issue of Piccolo’s secret love bothers Gohan every second he has the free time to think about it outside of his college classes and familial obligations. He can’t clear his mind of it no matter how hard he tries. He’s jealous, and he wants Piccolo all to himself, but at the same time, he wants Piccolo to be happy. Even if it’s not him, he wants Piccolo to be with who he loves, so he’s determined to figure out who that person is. 

If Piccolo won’t tell him and if he can’t figure it out, he’ll inquire with those they both know to see if it gets him anywhere.

The first person he goes to is his father, Goku, who usually gives some pretty solid advice and offers good insight despite his dense nature.

It’s a hot summer day, hotter than it was on his birthday. Gohan stumbles upon his father training outside after some searching around Mountain Paozu.

“Hey, dad?” Gohan asks, a little awkward since his father is smack-dab in the middle of swimming laps around the local lake. 

He feels like a nuisance for daring to interrupt. Upon seeing him, however, his father surfaces from the water to flash him a smile. The younger of the two stands by the water’s side and waits for his father to swim over to him. 

“Hey, Gohan! What’s up? Did you come to swim, too?”

“Uh, no, actually. I have lab in an hour on campus, but I wanted to talk to you before leaving… Can I ask you something?” 

“What is it, Gohan?” Goku questions with a grin as he bobs up his upper half out of the water and rests his elbows on the edge to hold himself up while Gohan talks.

“Do you know who Piccolo might like?”

“Well… Hm…” Goku pauses, thoughtful. He contemplates for a moment before breaking out into an even larger grin and speaking up like he’s just solved the world’s hardest math problem. “I know he at least likes you!”

“W-What!?” Gohan exclaims with wide charcoal eyes and bright red cheeks.

“Well, you two are friends, right?” Goku shoots back, clearly oblivious.

“Oh…” Gohan responds upon realizing what Goku initially meant. The half-Saiyan lets out a sigh of relief, then nods his head. “Yeah, we are. You’re right.”

“What, is that not what you meant or something?” His father tilts his head in that dumb, innocent way that so endearingly reminds him of a puppy, and Gohan suddenly realizes that this is not the person he should be discussing the issue of Piccolo’s love-life with.

“No, no, it’s fine, uh… I’ll see you later.”

Gohan recovers just enough to walk off, leaving his father to return to Mount Paozu’s clear waters. He’s anxious about it now… Well, then. Next time he asks someone about it, he’ll just have to phrase it differently. His father probably wasn’t the best person to go to in the first place…

~~

Gohan’s next stop in his journey to find Piccolo’s true love is Capsule Corp. It’s been a day since he tried to discuss the issue with his father and after some reflection, Gohan has come to the conclusion that he needs to talk to someone more familiar with romance than his father is. Bulma is a logical and intelligent woman with plenty of life experience and a couple relationships under her belt. Surely, even if she doesn’t know who it is that Piccolo is in love with, she’ll have some good insight about his situation. 

Gohan braces himself to knock on Bulma’s front door. It’s hotter than it was yesterday. West City is sweltering with no wind in sight to ease the heat. Gohan is stuck in a white tank-top, grey shorts, sandals, and an assload of sunscreen with his few stray locks of midnight-hued hair clipped back by Videl to keep them from sticking to his forehead with sweat.

Instead of knocking on the door, Gohan catches himself in time to ring the doorbell. He always forgets that they have a nice one installed when his own home back on the Mountain just has its plain wooden door that’s constantly on the brink of falling off its hinges.

He’s unsurprised when Bulma opens the door quickly, her short cyan hair perfectly combed and a red dress on her small frame as she flashes him a bright smile. 

“Bulma,” Gohan greets with a nod and walks in when Bulma holds the door open for him to enter her home. 

Bulma’s top of the line air conditioning hits him so hard that goosebumps raise on his warm skin. The half-Saiyan lets out a sigh of relief. Despite the hot weather outside, the Briefs’ home is ice cold, no doubt so that Vegeta doesn’t get overheated when training. Gohan can hear the familiar noises of the gravity chamber that’s built inside the house just down the hall as he’s led to the living room.

“Gohan, it’s been a bit, how are you?” The scientist says and sits down on the living room couch.

Gohan sits in the chair across from her. As much as he’d love to sit and catch up with Bulma right now, he’s a man on a mission. He averts his eyes and gets straight to the point.

“I’m good, but I actually came over to ask you something. Aside from me and my dad, you’re the closest to Piccolo,” He starts, and it’s true. Piccolo and Bulma aren’t exactly friends, but aside from Goku, she’s been the only one out of their friend group to really embrace and try to socialize with Piccolo, even giving him a cell phone and a capsule house after the defeat of Frieza. “So I was wondering if you knew about his, er… Love life?”

“Love life?” Bulma places a finger on her chin. Gohan watches with a gulp. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea… Bulma sounds totally confused. Gohan suspects that he may be the only one out of all of their friends and family that has actually stopped and thought about Piccolo’s romantic interests. It makes sense that the others don’t see Piccolo engaging in such things. He felt like that at different points, too. Now, he’s in love with Piccolo. Things are different. He feels like an idiot for thinking about it in the first place, let alone asking both his dad and Bulma for answers as if they’d have any idea. “I don’t think he really has one of those, but Gohan, why do you want to know?”

“Well, um, I just worry for him and-...” Gohan tries to come up with an excuse. The first and easiest one that comes to mind is that he’s concerned that Piccolo. His teacher and father figure (and nothing more, of course) is lonely and needs to start dating someone. That sounds believable, doesn’t it? Before he can get through that thought, however, he senses Vegeta’s ki heading their way and is proven correct when the compact Saiyan enters the room. “Oh, Vegeta, it’s nice to see you…”

Neither Bulma nor Gohan say anything. Bulma shifts on the couch and stares down at the floor like it’s suddenly become the most interesting thing on the planet.

Vegeta walks to the couch and sits close to Bulma with an arm over her shoulder and his brow furrowed. Gohan doesn’t look him in the eye, simply eyeing his outfit instead. Vegeta is dressed in a sleeveless spandex suit that only goes down to his knees, so there’s a lot visible that he’s sure he honestly never wanted to see.

“Why’d you get so quiet all of a sudden?” Vegeta demands, then continues with a sarcastic edge to his tone. “What, are you throwing me a surprise birthday party? Come on, now, don’t let me ruin your little chat.”

“Huh? It’s nothing like that,” Gohan feigns obliviousness. “I just, um, I-”

“What were you two talking about?”

Bulma turns to face Vegeta with crossed arms and a clear glare of disapproval that the other ravenette only slightly slouches at.

“Vegeta! How rude, it really isn’t any of your business!”

Vegeta doesn’t reply to Bulma, simply talking to Gohan once more.

“Just because you’re a man now doesn’t mean you get to come into my home and play these games of secret keeping-”

“For starters, Vegeta, you don’t pay the bills around here. This is my home, not yours,” Bulma chews out her husband (?) and grabs him by the ear. Vegeta lets out a noise of discontent when she pulls at it. “Second of all, Gohan can do whatever he wants. We were just talking about Piccolo, anyway, it’s nothing for you to be concerned with.”

Vegeta huffs, pulls away from Bulma, and lowers his voice.

“What could be interesting enough regarding the Namekian for the two of you to be in here whispering to each other about?”

“Ugh, why are you so nosy all of a sudden?” Bulma snarks. “Not like you’ve ever given a damn about him, Vegeta.”

At that, Vegeta crosses his arms and looks away with a light blush. Could it be him…?

No. No way. Gohan sits there awkwardly, trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together. For a moment, he thinks he senses Piccolo’s ki in the midst of it all, but then the feeling vanishes. He must be so bothered by this debacle that he’s imagining things…

“We’re… Comrades, in one way or another,” Vegeta answers after far too long of a silence. ”Are you really surprised that I’m concerned?”

“Look, Vegeta, it’s a little complicated,” Gohan rushes to explain in an attempt to clear the tension in the air. His intuition tells him that Vegeta’s hiding something, but he refuses to interrogate the older man to find out what that something is. He nervously drums his fingers against the arms of Bulma’s living room chair while trying to find the right words. “It’s more of a personal issue, but Piccolo is fine, I’m just… Inquiring about something.”

“But Gohan…” Bulma interjects before Vegeta can say anything. “Back to the subject of why you came here in the first place, why do you even want to know that about Piccolo? Isn’t it weird for you to think about your teacher’s love life? I think it’d almost be as awkward as you thinking about Goku’s.”

Vegeta’s spine straightens within the same second that his eyes shoot wide open. His cheeks flush pink as he looks at Bulma and speaks with a peculiar sense of urgency.

“Bulma, if this is what it’s about, let the boy figure out his feelings on his own.”

“O-Oh, no, it’s not like that!” Gohan insists with a dismissive wave of his hands and a stutter.

Vegeta only rolls his eyes.

“Bullshit.”

Then, the Saiyan is up and leaving, presumably returning to his training. Another awkward silence ensues. Bulma is the first to break it.

“Uh, Gohan…”

Gohan shifts in his chair and offers an anxious chuckle, followed by-

“Don’t tell anyone? Please?”

“Sure, I promise. It’s not my business, anyway… Sorry about Vegeta, too. You know how he can be. I’ll see you later, okay?” Bulma, seemingly flustered by the whole ordeal, stands up. She straightens out her impeccable dress and looks at Gohan with a guilty sort of smile. “Sorry I wasn’t able to help you out with your problem.”

“That’s alright, thank you for your time…”

~~~

Another week passes after that. Gohan teeters between the line of giving up before he gets too deep in the shit and continuing to pursue the mystery that is Piccolo’s lone love interest. After dealing with his father’s obliviousness, Bulma’s confusion, and Vegeta’s… Well, whatever label could be put on Vegeta’s behavior was last week, Gohan isn’t sure he wants to take the risk of asking more of he and Piccolo’s shared circle of friends about the Namekian’s non-existent love life.

The more people he tells, the higher risk of it getting back to Piccolo. It’s true that Piccolo keeps to himself and doesn’t seek out social interaction, but with Gohan’s luck, he wouldn’t be surprised if it happened after this, hence why he’s now headed toward Kame House to speak with the one person he knows won’t tell another soul. 

Gohan is unsurprised to see Krillin firing Kamehameha waves at the ocean when he lands feet-first in the yellowy sand. Immediately, the shorter man stops and rushes to give Gohan a hug. Gohan quickly reciprocates and grins down at Krillin, who’s the first to speak.

“Gohan! It’s been forever since I’ve seen ya, buddy, how are you?”

“Oh, I’m good, how about you?” Gohan responds with a slight tilt of his head as Krillin pulls away and puts his hands on his hips.

“I’m great! Did you just come to visit, or…?”

“Well, I suppose so, yes, but there was something I was wondering about… Could I ask you something?”

“Sure, Gohan, what is it?”

“I know this is a little bit of an odd question, but you’re good with romance, right? I mean, you’re married and all, and…” Gohan trails off and makes his way to the porch with Krillin following him. They both sit on the top steps, Gohan with his head in his hands and Krillin staring at him worriedly. “Well, to get straight to the point, do you know if Piccolo might be interested in anyone? Like, romantically?”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Gohan. It’s pretty hard to imagine that guy having the hots for someone. If anyone had a chance with him, it’d be you.”

“W-What?” Gohan shoots straight up. A glimmer of hope flashes in his chest. After two instances of it being insinuated that Piccolo isn’t interested in anyone at all, finally having someone tell him that he has a chance is reassuring… Not that it makes his anxiety about their age difference and everyone’s opinions any better. That’s a whole other can of worms that he has yet to open with himself, let alone with anyone else. “Don’t you think that’s a little weird?”

“Why would it be weird?” 

“The age difference!” Gohan exclaims with a blush.

“...You know you guys are only four years apart in age, right?”

“What!? But- but he was an adult when-”

“Namekians age differently, Gohan, he was only eight when he killed Raditz and took you.”

And that’s a whole lot of information that Gohan doesn’t know how to unpack. Neither of them speak for a moment as Gohan processes. He had always assumed that Piccolo was his father’s age if not older. 

“...I see,” Gohan murmurs after a moment and fidgets with his hands in his lap. “So, you think he likes me?”

“Well, I’m not sure about that for certain, but if anyone has a chance it’d be you.”

“But- but don’t you think it’s still weird? I mean, he was my teacher for so long and-”

“Gohan,” Krillin interrupts with a firm, reassuring hand placed on Gohan’s shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s been a long time since then, you’re an adult now. Do what your heart tells you to do and I’ll be behind you every step of the way, alright? Whether you tell Piccolo or you don’t tell Piccolo about your feelings, I’m here for you to talk to. You can come visit me any time- I know Eighteen and Marron would be happy to see more of you around here, too.”

Choked up with emotion, Gohan nods and manages to force out a reply.

“Yeah… Thank you. I’ll be sure to take you up on that.”

“Sounds good. You’ll be fine, okay? Now come inside, I’ll cook us something to eat.”

Gohan lets out a sigh of relief and follows the older man into Kame House, where Master Roshi is passed out on the couch and where Eighteen and Marron are sitting at the coffee table reading a book. Maybe Krillin is right about all of this… He’ll be just fine.

~~~~

Later that night, Gohan finds himself lounging on the living room couch of the Son residence with a pen and notepad in hand. The only light is that of the lamp on the nearby table. Normally, he’d be at his college dorm, but since summer break has started, he’s been staying with his parents to spend some more time with them and Goten.

It’s half past midnight when Gohan hears feet shuffling in the hallway. He hurriedly tucks the notepad (which is filled with a list of pros and cons of telling Piccolo his feelings) between two couch cushions and tries to make it look like he’s just relaxing. Goten is the one who comes into the room, though, and even at only twelve years old, he’s able to read Gohan better than both of their parents. 

“Gohan, what’s wrong?” Goten asks from the doorway, dressed in a t-shirt and pajama pants.

“Oh, Goten, it’s nothing,” Gohan attempts to wave Goten off with a forced smile. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine, are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Goten insists. Then, he sits next to Gohan on the couch and looks at him with a concerned expression. “You’ve been acting off since your birthday and I’m really starting to get worried. I won’t tell Mom and Dad if it’s something that bad.”

“You promise?”

“Of course!” Goten agrees with a hurried nod and puts his hands in his lap to nervously wring them together just like Gohan is doing.

“Hm… Okay, well, I’ve fallen in love with someone, but I’m afraid to tell them. Other people seem to think this person loves me back, but I’m not so sure that they actually do.”

Of course, Goten being Goten, gets to the main point and asks the one question that Gohan doesn’t want to answer.

“Who is it?”

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but…” Gohan takes a deep breath to calm himself down before confessing the truth. He closes his eyes, almost scared to see Goten’s face contort with disappointment or judgment or whatever it is that he’s going to react with. “It’s Piccolo.”

“You’re in love with Mr. Piccolo!?” Goten shouts, to which Gohan pushes his shoulder and whisper-yells back.

“Goten! Lower your voice before Mom and Dad wake up and hear what we’re talking about.”

“Oh, right, okay,” Goten chuckles and lowers his voice to a whisper as well. “Sorry, Gohan!”

“It’s fine, I just… I don’t know what to do. If I tell him and he reciprocates, it’ll be worth it, but then if he doesn’t… It’ll ruin everything between us.”

“Well, yeah, I’ll give you that,” Goten says casually, as if Gohan’s entire world ending because of his feelings isn’t that big of a deal. Then again, Goten has always been like their father, dense about social cues and far too light-hearted about everything… But maybe that’s what he needs right now. “It’ll definitely be awkward if you spill the beans and he rejects you, but I think things being weird between you two for a bit is better than you sitting around miserable like this.”

“God, you’re right… I need to tell him. Okay, I’ll do it later today.”

“Great! You know, we should go catch a movie in the meantime. That twenty four hour theater in West City is still open,” Goten suggests.

Gohan quirks a brow.

“Are you sure we should go this late? Mom will be pissed if she finds out…”

“Eh, who cares? We’ll be back before she wakes up,” Goten argues and stands up to stretch his arms and legs.

“Fine, fine, we can go… You’re such a bad influence.”

~~~~~

The trip to the movie theater with Goten ended up turning into a shopping spree and sparring as well, resulting in them not returning to the Son home until roughly five in the morning. Thankfully, they were able to slip in without waking up either of their parents, with Goten practically collapsing on the couch to sleep upon their arrival. Gohan, unable to even think about sleeping, goes to the lookout to find Piccolo.

He has to deal with the awkwardness of greeting Dende and Mr. Popo, making small talk with them despite the odd time of day. He’d normally be there to visit Dende. This morning, however, is different. He manages to excuse himself to go sit in front of Piccolo’s door, but he can’t bring himself to actually knock on it for a bit. He wastes half an hour sitting in front of the damn thing.

It’s nearly six in the morning when Gohan musters the courage to knock on the door. He doesn’t know why he bothers doing that. He’s sure Piccolo must’ve sensed his intense ki coming from miles away, as he’s so emotional right now that he can’t make so much as an attempt at hiding it.

Apparently, he’s correct. The moment his fist comes into contact with the wood of the door, Piccolo opens it for him, almost as if he’s been waiting on the other side for Gohan to make his presence known.

The Namekian is as gorgeous as he was on Gohan’s birthday, and every other day, too; dressed in a large purple sweater and matching joggers. It’s different from the usual attire, but it makes sense that Piccolo is wearing it. He’s at home, after all, and was probably either asleep or just waking up when Gohan arrived. 

Gohan’s eyes trail up and down Piccolo’s body. It’s large, lean, and a hue of jade green that Gohan would drown himself in pools of if he could. Part of his mind shifts to more unsavory thoughts before he shuts it down and forces words out of his mouth.

“Piccolo, I need to talk to you.”

“Actually, Gohan, I need to talk to you first.”

Gohan freezes. He is standing in Piccolo’s doorway, feeling so very vulnerable. He shifts nervously and raises a hand to rub at his bicep. He can’t look Piccolo in the eye.

“O-Oh, um, okay, what is it?”

“I don’t know how to say this or where to even start, so I’m just going to come out with it. I heard you when you were at Bulma’s last week,” Piccolo admits. The sudden onslaught of emotion is so dizzying that Gohan has to grip onto the side of the doorway to keep himself standing up straight. So, Piccolo knows about his feelings, and Piccolo has known about his feelings for days now. Even worse, Piccolo knows that Gohan was running around probing their mutual friends for information about Piccolo’s love-life. “I was there training with Vegeta in his gravity chamber… I stayed behind when he said he was going to talk to Bulma about something, but as you know, my hearing is leagues above that of the average earthling, so-”

“You heard everything I said that day…?” Gohan asks just to be sure before he lets the well of tears building up in his eyes flow out.

Piccolo nods. Gohan manages to look up at him just long enough to see it and to see the purple blush that’s consumed Piccolo’s cheeks. 

“Precisely.”

“God, Piccolo, I’m so sorry. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us…” Gohan apologizes and uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes before they can pour down his cheeks. The crying doesn’t stop, though, so he has to keep wiping his eyes while Piccolo stands there awkwardly, probably waiting for an explanation that Gohan doesn’t know how to give.  “I- I know you don’t want me, you don’t have to say it. I should’ve just taken the hint when I first asked you about it and-”

Gohan can’t finish the sentence. A choked sob tears through his throat and takes him over so he’s sitting on the ground with his head in his hands and his knees pulled to his chest. Part of him expects Piccolo to slam the door shut and leave him there. The other part of him expects Piccolo to berate him, to call him disgusting for having such feelings for his former teacher, to tell him that he’s never had a chance and never will. What Gohan doesn’t expect is for Piccolo to get down on his knees, pull his hands away from his eyes, and force him to make eye contact.

“Of course I want you,” Piccolo swallows and lets out a heavy sigh- whether it’s from stress or relief, Gohan can’t tell. Gohan sniffles and cautiously stares at Piccolo’s face. As per usual, he’s unable to read the expression on it. Piccolo shakes his head and holds his arms out. Gohan, frantic, buries himself in them and cries even more when Piccolo picks him up and carries him inside. The door is shut behind them as Piccolo asks- “Why wouldn’t I want you?”

“It’s like you said, you’re not interested in earthlings, and you could do so much better-” Gohan starts to ramble again as Piccolo sets him down on his bed and sits down next to him.

“You’re all I could ever want, Gohan,” Piccolo effectively ends Gohan’s rambling with his reassuring words. Gohan stares at him, half-convinced that this is a dream. It must be, right? Because the way that Piccolo is so tenderly wrapping an arm over one shoulder and using his spare hand to wipe Gohan’s tears off of his face feels unreal. It can’t be real. “You’re not just an earthling- you’re Saiyan, too, and even if you were completely human… I misunderstood what you were saying when you asked me about it and thought you were going to try to set me up on a date with one of your friends or something. I don’t want anything to do with anyone if they’re not you, so I tried to throw you off by making it clear that I don’t want to date anyone on this planet. I was hoping you’d drop the subject, but I guess you’ve never given up that easily… Stubborn brat.”

“You really want me…? You don’t have to say stuff like that just to spare my feelings, Piccolo. Really, it’s okay, I can take rejection-”

“Gohan, if you don’t shut the hell up and come here right now I’m going to special-beam-cannon you into the next stratosphere.”

Gohan blinks. Then, in a rare moment of shared vulnerability, both of them laugh. Gohan listens to Piccolo’s words and falls into the older man’s arms, relief flooding him like hot water when those arms are wrapped around him. He buries his face in the crook between Piccolo’s neck and shoulder. 

“I know you’re gonna get agitated with me for this, but are you really sure you want me like this…? I just- I just need to hear it one more time,” Gohan says with a nervous chuckle, all of it muffled by Piccolo’s shirt.

“Of course I’m sure,” Piccolo responds, and though Gohan can’t see Piccolo’s face, he can feel the Namekian rolling his eyes from the way the air in the room changes just a tad. “Why don’t you stay here and get some rest? You look like you haven’t slept at all, and I haven’t either. We can talk more when we wake up.”

“I… I think I’d like that,” Gohan agrees and lays back on the mattress with Piccolo lying right next to him. “I love you.”

Gohan dares to glance at Piccolo, who is already staring back at him with that fondness in his gaze that Gohan has never seen him have for anyone else. Piccolo reaches out and pushes Gohan’s hair out of his face with the slightest hint of a smile.

“I love you, too.”

[daisiesinseattle]

Today is my birthday, and it’s a big one. As of today, I am 30. Because turning 30 is supposed to be a big deal, everyone keeps asking how I feel. Honestly, I feel like nothing is changing. I don’t feel 30. I feel like a young adult who’s only starting to live her life. I still like the same things and do the same things I used to.

I’d be lying if I hadn’t reminisced about young me. About the one who found solace in books. About the one who felt alone and misunderstood. About the one who was bullied by friends and classmates. Tween and teenage me had it rough, and she still suffers sometimes. She reacts when she’s triggered (usually by something small). She cries about herself. She wants to read Harry Potter and listen to her teenage songs when life gets hard. She deserved so much, but most of the time, she wanted to disappear. To get away and start from zero. And she got to do that. 14/15-year-old me survived, and through therapy, I’ve learned that if I survived high school, I could survive anything life throws my way.

My 30-year-old birthday is actually for you: my younger self. I want you to see how far we’ve come, and how much love we have in our life. I want you to know that you don’t read to find an escape, but you do because you love it. You love to find a new book you can’t put down. That’s why we listen to audiobooks now: you don’t need to put the book down.

I need you to know you found friends and a romantic partner who loves you for who you are: intense, caring, loving, and a geek. That your intensity is not a problem, and it’s okay that you feel too much. I also need you to know we’re doing well, and wanting to disappear is not an issue anymore. We got to move to a different town for college where we made friends (some for life). That’s when our “start from zero” thing started.

College was an experience for us. We fell in love and we fell out of love. We discovered our bisexuality, fought for different things, got to live in Portugal for six months, traveled Europe (10 years ago!), organized a strike, and fell in love with life. There were problems and difficulties, of course, but they were slightly more mature. Our first heartbreak was awful but necessary. Breaking up with your first boyfriend made you confident and independent in a way you never were before. You grew a lot after 2014. I'm very proud of how we put ourselves out there, explored the world, and lived. Our early 20s were filled with drunk kissing people at parties to going to live in the US. Our late 20s were about settling into a new adult life with your now wife and cat while managing life during an ongoing pandemic.

Yes. We live in the US now and we're married to the love of our lives. Do you remember reading all the romantic books and daydreaming about finding something like them? Listening to White Horse and thinking that Araraquara was a small town and one day you’d find someone who would treat you well? Well, we left our small town and went to live in Seattle, WA, where we lived for two years being an Au Pair. These two years were incredible, and I’m so glad we got to do the things we did. You met her during this time, the love of your life. I think the universe wants us to stay in small towns, as it took us to another one: Natick, MA. We moved to stay with her, to start a life together. So this time, you’re living in a small town with the love of your life. You don’t need to pretend you’re not something you’re not. You don’t need to hide your interests, your feelings, and reactions. You are allowed to feel. To be. To be who you are and who you always wanted to be. You are happy and in peace. Coming home to your apartment and sitting on the couch with your chosen family is everything you never knew you needed but always dreamed of having. You’re finally in peace.

This birthday is for you, 15-year-old tequinha. Thank you for going through so much. I wouldn’t be here today if you hadn’t dreamed of the life you wanted to have. Happy birthday.

[myfirstandlast]

my depression is reaching unsalvageable levels and i don’t know what to do im quite scared and i don’t have anyone around me for protection or support

[naniwa-archive]

ViVi November Issue (Snow Man cover)

Solo Q/A interview

Nishihata Daigo

Q. What do you think about sharing clothes with your significant other?

A. Wonderful, absolutely amazing! Since I am not as tall that's why it might be a bit difficult but, I want her to nervously say “this is too big”. I guess it's a nice feeling for your significant other to wearing your own clothes? Well, I am not sure since I don't have any experience in dating (laughs)

Q. Have you actually shared clothes with someone?

A. Only with my father. With members, rather than sharing, we have matching outfits more. Just the other day I copied and wore the same t-shirt as that of Michieda-kun, I also have matching rings, t-shirt and bags with Ohashi-kun. Good things are good afterall.

Q. At what situation with what kind of girl would you like to share clothes?

A. The first thing that came in my mind is, at home date. I want to do classic things, something like, my girlfriend saying “this is a bit big~” while wearing my sweatshirt (shy). If a girl who is usually calm and caring let's herself be spoiled only by me it'll definitely make my heart race. Also since I am from Kansai, I want to joke around with my lover. Is the hurdle too high? Its totally fine even if she can't make a come back (to my jokes). As long she laughs at my jokes!

Q. Can you straightforwardly tell “cute” to your lover?

A. Of course! I can even say things that'd make one feel shy with no problem. That's why on the contrary, if it's someone who isn't good with this kind of thing, it might be a problem. Is this what they call occupational disease?

Onishi Ryusei

Q. What do you think about sharing clothes with your significant other?

A. I completely love the idea. Getting caught by “Isn't it your boyfriend's?”. It looks cute when the girl takes the clothes to wear. I adore conversations that goes “Ah, please lend me that clothes” “Sure~”.

Q. What is good about girls wearing men's clothes?

A. The little loose creates a relaxed vibe. You get to be fashionable even without being too fancy.

Q. Where would you go for date with your girlfriend who is wearing your clothes?

A. Park! I want to go to a park. I have an image that we will be in a relax mode as that of living at home, while eating home made bento we will have a laid-back conversation. We will also bring our dog. Uwaa~ That'd be so nice~.

Q. Would you borrow your girlfriend's clothes?

A. If I were to go out wearing girlfriend's clothes, in case I feel her smell on them, I might get excited (laughs)

Q. Do you have a type you are interested in?

A. Someone who likes to exchange meaningless texts, I guess? If I receive texts with dumb contents at random hours, I might think it as cute.

Q. With which Naniwa member would you like to share clothes with?

A. Ohashi-kun. Because his clothes usually have a calming smell to them (laughs). Also he is quite particular about shoulder width or size in general. He is a fashionable person who has a lot of oversized clothes. I want to wear Ohashi-kun's clothes ♡

Nagao Kento

Q. What do you think about sharing clothes with your significant other?

A. If my girlfriend says “I wanna wear it” then it's completely fine but, I won't recommend her anything by myself. Ah, but if my girlfriend is complimented when wearing my clothes then I'll go “You're welcome”. Since I prefer ladies pants more than the normal ones, if I try then I might also be able to borrow my girlfriend's clothes. As I am a man who has plaid skirt, heel boots and such, I absolutely have nothing that I don't like!

Q. The fashionable Nagao-san, are girls who are into fashion your type?

A. No No, there's nothing like that. If we have common interests and hobbies the conversation might extend, but it's okay even if it doesn't match my taste. Rather, I might apologize for being obsessed with my own fashion while not paying any attention to the other person's clothes  (laughs). At the end, it's all about self satisfaction. As for the significant other, I would like her to cherish her own colors.

Q. Do you talk about clothes with the members?

A. Not really. I talk with my clothes loving friends from my hometown. I also often talk with salespersons of clothing shops with whom I'm close with about release information of new clothes, new brands and such. On top of that, I am the type who doesn't want to match outfits with the members. Yet it troubles me as I would often match with them! If my favourite pair of sneakers matched with anyone then my excitement would go down like “Ah..”. I don't mean this in a negative way. I mean, when you go and hang out with the members if you see someone wearing the same outfit as you, won't it ruin your mood? No matter how close you are! kinda (laughs)

Michieda Shunsuke

Q. What do you think about sharing clothes with your significant other?

A. I think it's really good! The little oversized-ness is cute, also whenever my girlfriend would try to borrow my clothes in my absence I want to tell her things like “What are you doing, geez~”. I want to fool around while feeling all fluffy inside (laughs). Imagining it alone is fun!

Q. Have you actually shared clothes with someone of the opposite sex?

A. As a child I once wore my sister's clothes without her permission, that time she was quite mad at me, so now we no longer share. On the other hand, now when my sister wears my clothes I really can't think of that as cute (laughs).

Q. If you get a girlfriend would you prefer thing to her way or your way?

A. Since I will not hold my partner, if she prefers to wear the things she likes the. I guess I'm fine with it. But if she's not really careful about wearing clothes that are quite revealing then my eyes might have trouble figuring out where to look at! If I receive requests from my significant other like “I want you to wear this kind of clothes” then I'll try my best to respond to her request.

Q. Finally, what is your type?

A. If we are talking about appearance, a girl with natural makeup and bob to semi long hair. As for what's inside (personality), someone who is able to attract elegant people with her soft atmosphere. Also, If I make any mistakes or there is anything wromg in that case I want her to tell that clearly to me. On the other hand, I dislike girls who likes to control. It's fine to act all cutesy to be perceived as cute but as we can't see her true intentions so that's still a bit... Though personally I can't usually recognise such actions at all. Amongst the members, not only is my score low in terms of love, I think I'm quite simple as a person (laughs)

Nishihata and Nagao: Micchi sure is naive!

Takahashi Kyohei

Q. What do you think about girls who wears men's or unisex clothings?

A. It's my first time hearing that girls wear men's clothes! There has been times when I wore slender ladies pants but, there's an opposite pattern as well... Eh, you don't mean room wear, right? Well~ that's something unknown to me (laughs)

Q. What if your girlfriend asks you to lend your clothes?

A. I am sorry but, I wouldn't prefer it. I would constantly think if my clothes have weird smell to it. I'm totally fine with matching though.

Q. What kind of fashion do you like on girls?

A. Something that's pretty in general. Style like, tucked in t-shirt with flare pants, I like outfits that have a refreshing silhouette to them (laughs). Especially flare denims are the best. Previously I used to like skinny pants but, I graduated from them when I became an adult.

Q. What is your ideal personality type?

A. Someone who's funny. Not funny like actual comedians, for example, someone who is really pretty but has a weird laugh, has a strong tone when speaking, if someone who has a gap that you wouldn't think of would really make me interested in them.

Q. What if your significant other requests “I want you to wear this”?

A. If my significant other dresses as per my ideal form then I would do the same. Anything is fine but I don't like showing navel! Even then if there's a request to show muscles, I will say “sure, at the beach” (laughs).

Fujiwara Joichiro

Q. What if your girlfriend asks you to lend your clothes?

A. I'd totally lend them to her. It'll have this “In return lend me something too” kind of feeling (laughs). Doing things like, lining up all the clothes on bed, like how they do in drama and saying things like, “What should I wear today?” “How is this one?” “Ah that's no good” kinda. Isn't that super good? (laughs)

Q. What do you think about girls who wears men's outfits?

A. Normally, when a girl who usually wears ladies outfit wears men's clothes then the form and atmosphere in general will change, right? That change compared to usual will make men's heart flutter. It's the contrast after all, you know? (laughs)

Q. Where would you go for date with your girlfriend who is wearing your clothes?

A. It's a place that is particularly really admired by the people of Kansai but I want to go to a cafe in Yokohama (laughs). We will take pictures there which are different from our usual ones. Later when we will look at the pictures, I want to talk about memories like, “We did it that time. That was the first time when we exchanged clothes!” (shy)

Q. Do you have any ideal type for girls' fashion or make up?

A. Instead of black hair, I prefer girls with dyed hair. Your eyes will follow the girl who has an  intriguing hair color, like “What's up with that color!?” kinda.

Q. What is your ideal personality type?

A. The type who prepares food first, suddenly buys present saying “This looked nice” even though it isn't their partner's birthday. Someone who expresses their kindness casually through surprises, someone like that is nice.

Ohashi Kazuya

Q. If you get a special person, would you share your clothes with them?

A. I really want to do that!  I want to share my closet completely like, “It's fine to wear any of my clothes”. If we are at home, then I'd have her wear my hoodie like an one piece, something like, it's an appearance that only I know about ♡ When going outside though, as I'm worried/concerned, I'd have her wear pants (laughs).

Q. What kind of fashion do you like on girls?

A. Street fashion. Something like a big top with loose wide pants, and a knit cap to along with it! If I spot a girl like that in the middle of the road, then I will follow her with my eyes.

Q. What is your ideal personality type?

A. Someone being with whom would calm me down I guess. If I were to refer to a member then.. Nope, there's no one (laughs). I like slightly modest type of girl who is generally seen wearing glasses while studying in the classroom. Along with that if she's actually really strong in fighting then I might give into her gap.

Q. Have you actually shared clothes with a girl?

A. I have! It's with my almost 50 years old mom though (laughs)

Q. Is it true that you have a lot of clothing items that match with the members?

A. There's a lot. The most is probably with Daigo. Micchi often imitates my hats, with Jo-kun it's the pants, with Kyohei we match rings and down pieces, like t-shirt and such.

Kyohei: It's because Ohashi-kun would invite me to shopping saying “Let's match”

No, it's you who invites me! I am sorry, this kid here is a tsundere (laughs).

[jjuzoir]

Homare Arisugawa General HCS

request: “Hi Sora! I never see any art/writing for my boy Homare from A3! (Maybe because his dialogue is so ridiculous.) Would you mind writing something for him?” from tlali

a/n: ahhh i don’t think i’ve ever taken so long in a request jdjdndnd but i just wanted to make it right because i love homare so much❕ he deserves everything and more i just HDHSJJA we need more homare love 🤬 his dialogue is hilarious and i feel like we need to appreciate his style more no more homare slander 🙅

word count: 1667

- He smells like earl gray tea. No one knows why since he uses unscented soaps, he says it’s probably because he spends most of his time drinking or around tea.

- He’s very particular about his hair, he uses very specific shampoos and conditioners that he will absolutely not share or change unless he notices his hair needs it. Talking about his hair, it’s naturally kind of dry so he uses a lot of hydrating products which leaves him with the softest, most fluffy hair ever. It’s like touching a cloud.

- One of his favorite gifts given to him is a tie given to him as a birthday gift by his members. Everyone pitched it, including Izumi, and Azuma picked it out. It’s black, much like his everyday tie, but it’s got a small embroidered snowflake.

- He’s got three main pairs of glasses; his everyday ones he keeps at hand when he goes out, his at home ones which are (according to him) less flattering, and his driving ones. Keep in mind he can’t drive, he doesn’t even own a car.

- He can speak french and latin, and he’s super loud about it too. He’ll sometimes slip in french phrases and no one will understand other than Chikage and it’s just a mess - Muku is always so amazed that he knows two other languages too and probably asks him to teach him sometime.

- Definitely has the prettiest handwriting when it comes to the roman alphabet, he writes in ink and with fancy pens that cost more than Banri’s tuition.

- Absolutely has a bunch of business cards printed out, each with its own quote made by him. Sakyo thought it was such a waste printing them until he realized that no matter how many Homare took when he went to run errands he always gave them all, to whom? No one knows.

- He’s very well respected in the literary community, which still shocks pretty much everyone. He gets stopped often by fans or people who’ve read his work, it happens at least once a day and Izumi really doesn’t… she doesn’t understand, poor girl.

- He’s not that good with phone calls, he’s not bad but he definitely prefers texting or just talking face to face. To him there’s just a certain level of discontent he doesn’t like that doesn’t exist in other mediums.

- His favorite shows are either comedies or heavy hitting detective shows, there is no inbetween. You’ll walk in on him watching a sitcom leave the room and walk in on a serial killer chase down.

- About his love for detective shows, his favorite pastime is trying to solve the mysteries with the main character. He’ll rewatch the episode so many times to try and pick up clues, he’ll take notes and come to a conclusion and he loves the feeling of getting it right.

- In the same spirit as the statement above, absolutely got Tsumugi and Sakyo hooked on some of his favorites and they hang out to talk about the latest episodes and the overarching mystery. The conversations can tend to get kind of heavy very quick, more than once Muku thought they were investigating a real crime and almost fainted.

- He looks like he’s probably allergic to wool sweaters, they make his skin itch and he always needs to use a shirt underneath them - so he tends to buy those expensive anti-allergic ones that need to be washed in a very specific way that could probably pay Tsuzuru’s whole college debt and it takes a lot of restraint from the playwright not to steal one and sell in the black market.

- Talking about Tsuzuru, he often gives him writing advice. Said advice tends to be very useful, like keeping a pen and notebook on him in case anything comes to mind during the day or writing daily to help ease him into a style, etc. Homare genuinely wants him to bloom into a writer and is willing to beta-read anything Minagi needs, be it a script or a sleep deprived rambling about the gay subtext in Nocturnity.

- Arisugawa sets himself reading goals each month, he likes to read at least one book. He prefers poetry books or classic english literature, but he also likes to read romance books or really bizarre dystopian novels.

- Has read more books than most people in the company and can give very detailed recommendations if you give him like a day.

- Sings operas in the shower, unless stopped he will keep going until the second act. Surprisingly good falsetto, but one time Tenma thought it was a Banshee for a second and almost cried into Juza’s chest.

- He’s not only an overly emotional drunk but also a loud drunk, he’s already quite loud but when he’s downed half a bottle of wine and a shot of vodka he’s louder than the Summer Troupe combined. Because of this, Izumi tends to restrict his alcohol intake when they’re at the dorm.

- I can see him being very big into musicals, not all musicals but a very specific niche; classic horror novels turned into musicals. He’s a very big fan of both the German and Korean versions of Dracula, his favorite song is probably “Zu Ende” or the Korean version of “It’s Over”. He also likes the Frankenstein musical too, but overall he finds Junsu’s Dracula more interesting thus his preference.

- He will talk your ear off if you mention any musical though, be it a classic like Phantom or something newer like Heathers.

- A very big fan of Ghibli movies, he told me so himself today. He really likes Spirited Away though, it’s a movie he’s watched so many times but he’s still completely enamoured by it; he probably has made the Winter Troupe watch it at least once and Hisoka definitely knows the beginning of the movie by heart now.

- Homare is also really good at drawing, not like Kazunari but he’s probably the second best. He learned by analyzing and looking at artists he admired and picking up on their techniques. A true Renaissance Man™️.

- I feel like he’d also have a bunch of skills that are kind of, useless? He can probably carve wood and make candles, he also took a course in glass blowing probably. Arisugawa just wants to try everything at least once, his motto is probably to explore and learn as much as possible, not just about art but the world (he can be surprisingly smart if you have a dictionary at hand).

- Very observant, just in general. Which can be both good and bad, it’s good because it helps him understand the situation in ways others might not but it leads to him to sometimes overthinking things and behaving in manners which may annoy or hurt others.

- He also has a hard time trying to react to social cues, as seen in game, with certain people. While he’s worked it out with the Winter troupe and the Mankai company he still struggles when it comes to new people.

- Will make little tunes he sings in the shower that kind of become a little daily song, each day there’s a new one he’ll hum.

- He also canonly makes music and he makes contemporary electro-pop, you cannot change my mind. He probably also mixes opera and classical music into his tunes, which can go from 1 minute to 10, so you end up with a very cool mix of orchestra and techno-pop - it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but he’s probably got his own niche group.

- Now, into more romantic HCs...

- He’s a good flirt, a very good flirt. They may sound weird looking back at it, but his pickup lines work and they work well.

- He knows when to stop pursuing someone too. He senses even a bit of discomfort and he’s backing away, won’t ask anything. Very big on consent and unless stated absolutely explicitly he’ll keep his distance.

- A true gentleman, please - he’ll never let his dates pay, always open the doors for them, will even do the “walk on the inside of the sidewalk” when he’s walking you home.

- His favorite dates tend to be ones where you get to know more about each other, not always necessarily by talking though. Being able to go into a bookstore and look at the books, seeing the ones you pick, what you pick at a cafe or restaurant, it all helps him draw a better picture of who you are and he likes to think it helps you get to know him better too.

- He’s very in tune with his S/O’s feelings but is afraid of overstepping any boundaries which may lead to some miscommunication at the beginning of the relationship. But it’s workable and it wouldn’t be that big an issue in the long run as long as his partner is willing to help him understand them.

- Not big on PDA, thinks certain things should remain inside - not to say he wouldn’t talk for hours about his partner to anyone who listens but things like kissing or hugs tend to be behind closed doors. He’s okay with hand holding and maybe a kiss on the cheek though!

- Likes wearing matching outfits with his S/O, thinks it shows how they’re “one in spirit, heart, and mind” and will not stop pointing it out to the point even married couples feel single as they hear him ramble on about the subtle coordination in your color schemes to create a perfect contrast.

- Notices the smallest things like how much sugar you like in your drinks, the telltale signs of when you’re lying or uncomfortable, how you act when you’re too cold or too hot, and learns it by heart.

- Homare is also the kind of boyfriend who’d confront the waiter if they get your order wrong, he’s not ashamed of it either.

- He kind of just wants to make sure you’re doing well and happy, he’s a gentleman.

- Damn… I love him so much

[stressisakiller]

Hello Sunflower

Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU

Hello Sunflower Part 1

Summary: Your soul mark appears on your 18th birthday. What do you do when your father is a part of Hydra and your soul mark binds you to the Winter Soldier.

Warnings: Mentions and slight descriptions of torture, violence and brainwashing

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: 4/23 New edit: fixing some timeline issues and integrating a little of the steve x reader I’m working on. Ok guys I reread this and decided to edit it and make it longer and add more dialog. I hope that you like the changes. I plan on going back and editing the other chapters as well, but that will be between writing and posting new chapters. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests for future parts. Also I originally got the idea for this after reading Wolf, Partner Gloves... by @revengingbarnes so check it out!

Series Masterlist

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You have always hated your dad. For as long as you can remember you have hated him. Every time he dragged you with him to "work" at Hydra that hatred grew. It came to a point when he decided that you would be the perfect subject for their new round of super-soldier serum testing.

So, here you are at 10, 10 years old, on this freezing metal table with a syringe in your arm screaming your head off as the serum burns through your veins. Pain. All you can think about is the pain. It feels like every single one of your nerves is on fire, and at the same time, they feel like ice. The pain blazes through you as your DNA is rewritten turning you from the child you are to the soldier that they want you to be. 

Faces come in and out of focus as the scientists look you over, studying you to see how the serum is affecting you. Your head is fuzzy, only catching every couple of words that are being spoken around you. Everything is coming into view as your eyes adjust to the lights and the new information that your DNA is sending. Flexing your hand on the table you feel pins and needles from the tip of your fingers up to your shoulder, causing you to wince. A couple of tears slip from the corner of your eyes from the overwhelming ache the is present throughout your body.

A voice drifts in through the door. A voice that you know all too well, your father. 

"She survived?" You have never noticed how sinister his voice sounds before.

"Yes sir, and it seems like the serum took, we aren't sure how exactly it has altered her yet." The other voice is weaker, trembling, scared of the man in front of it.

"Begin testing on her then, we need to know before we begin training her." 

"Yes sir." 

One set of footsteps retreats down the hallway while the other comes closer. You look towards the door, waiting to face the man that is about to walk in. You make sure your face is blank when the door opens, you don't want him to know you heard the whole conversation.

A slight sniveling man steps through the door and you immediately decide that you hate him. He walks over to you and undoes the straps on your arms and legs.

"Come little soldier, it's time to find out what you can do." He orders, his voice is a little stronger now that he isn't facing your father. He leads you down a maze of hallways, your bare feet make no noise as you follow after him. 

Entering a different room you are met with the site of another metal table as well as a two-way glass mirror, a treadmill, and a large set of weights. The man points you to the treadmill and the tests begin. They force you to run, full sprint until your body shuts down and you fall to the floor, flying off the belt as soon as you hit. When you come back to consciousness they force you to lift more and more weight until you feel your arm muscles give out. The weights come crashing down on you breaking multiple ribs. You are given a day to heal before they begin shocking and beating you to figure out what your pain tolerance is, before cutting you in different places at different depths to discover how quickly you heal.

You aren't sure how many days have passed before you are thrown into your new "bedroom" to rest and heal. A meal of bread, milk, and some sort of meat substitute is all they give you to eat. With every test and beating your hatred for Hydra and the man who called himself your father grows. You haven't seen your father at all during the testing but you know that he has been standing behind that stupid mirror and watching as you are put through every test that the scientists could think of. As soon as he had taken you to be injected, you had decided that this man was no father of yours. No real father would willingly subjugate their child to this torture and watch as it happens. 

You are given no rest before they begin to train you, throwing you into a ring with the other assets, teaching you how to shoot every type of firearm imaginable. You are taught how to throw knives and how to use poison, how to kill a man without leaving a trace and how to evade arrest. They make you into their perfect little child soldier, and you despise them for it. 

Your memories from that point on are disjointed, you know that there is a machine that they would force you into, you can remember the pain, but not much else. Then there are these words, six of them. The scientists say them and you lose all control of your own body. But then they take you back to that other machine and you fall into blessed whiteness. After an unknown amount of time, they decide that they no longer need to take you to that machine or to use those words. All you have ever known is Hydra, after all, there is no way you would turn against them. That's their first mistake. You bid your time, and slowly they give you more freedom. The idiots.

  As your 18th birthday had approached you set a tattoo appointment. You would rather die than let Hydra find out what your soulmate mark would be. You had decided beforehand that you would go in and get multiple tattoos on your birthday to mask the one that would betray the person that fate had deemed you destined for.

 Waking up the morning of your 18th birthday you run to the mirror. Seeing the markings on your skin you die a little inside. It can’t be, he can’t be your soulmate, how are you going to be able to save yourself and him? There on your hip, the size of a nickel, in bright red ink is a star, not just any star but the blood-red star that is a prominent feature on the arm of the Winter Soldier. But that isn’t the only thing that catches your eye. You have another tattoo, on your left bicep a bouquet of marigolds, white daisies, baby’s breath, and yellow gladiolus, with the howling face of a wolf emerging from the center. You hurry around your apartment, hiding your marks with a heavy layer of makeup. You can’t run the risk of anyone seeing them now, not before you have the chance to cover them.

You rush to the tattoo parlor in a panic and tell them the two tattoos you want. You insist that they do both of them while you are there. You cut through the protests assuring them that you have a high pain tolerance and that you heal very quickly. In the weeks preceding this day you had contemplated what exactly you needed. You had reasoned beforehand that just one tattoo would be too suspicious, but now that you have two marks you decide that you only need to get one other tattoo. You know that you will be punished for this but it is worth it, he is worth it.

To cover the soulmate mark on your hip you get a galaxy with stars of all different colors that make up multiple constellations. It takes them most of the day to finish it, walking over to the mirror you study the new art on your hip. It stretches from the middle of your thigh up to your bottom rib. It's large enough that the stars fade into the background, making it practically impossible to tell that one of them is your soulmark. 

The second tattoo is a bird in a cage that spans across the ribs on the opposite side as the galaxy. You have them make the bird abstract, using all types of different objects to create the shape of the bird and the cage. You leave the other soulmark alone, it is impossible to tell that it is a soulmark or at least who it pertains to, not with the other two tattoos vying for attention.

  You leave the parlor late that afternoon and head home. As you open the door to your apartment you are met by the overly happy face of your father. You had expected him to be there but the look on his face causes you to pause.

"My daughter, where have you been? I have been waiting for you almost all day?” the fake concern in his voice makes your teeth clench. In response, you shrug noncommittally,

“I had to run some errands and they ended up taking longer than I expected.” He is suspicious of your lie, but it won't take long for him to discover exactly where you were all day.

“No matter my child, you are here now. As you know you turned 18 today, which means your soul mark has appeared. Show it to me so that we may begin to look for the man who will hold your heart." He oozes smugness, believing that he will soon have the key to keeping you in check. You stare him down, you will die before he finds out who your soulmate is.

"Sorry to disappoint dad,” you spit, “ but I had it tattooed over. I didn’t even look at it. So I will never know who my soulmate is but neither will you." as soon as the words pass your lips your father's face contorts. His rage at your defiance shifting him from your father to the lead scientist of Hydra.

His grip is bruising as he drags you from the apartment and to the lab. The table is freezing as he straps your half-naked body to it. He snarls at you as you glare up at him.

“You think that you can defy me and not face the consequences? You think that I would not punish you because you are my daughter? I don’t give a shit about you except for what you can do for the cause. You are nothing but a puppet for us to use.” he walks away ordering for you to be tortured until you reveal what your mark is. The only condition he gives is that you are not to be killed, after all, they still have use for you.

  You spent days on that table, days of being tortured with every instrument they could think of. You were waterboarded, choked, burned and they paid extra attention to cutting every inch of skin that was covered by tattoos. At the end of every day your father would come in and ask if you had something to tell him, and every day you spit in his face. 

After three days they decide to brainwash you, they can’t wipe you since they need you coherent enough to remember what they want to know. The words wash over you, and yet to your surprise, you still have complete control. You quickly use it to your advantage. You allow them to think it worked, answering their questions as if the soldier is in control. You tell them what you told your father. You didn't look at your mark, you immediately had it tattooed over. They believe you.

After all that must be the truth, you are their soldier and their soldier cannot lie. You are just relieved that they have finally given up, you aren't sure that you could have made it another day without blacking out or losing it.

  When they drag you off the table and throw you into one of the cells you can barely move or even think. Curling into yourself on the hard cot, you allow sleep to take you. Your father doesn't allow you to rest for long, as soon as your body is in mostly working order you are thrown back into training.

“Fight or die.” He states, looking down at you as though you are the scum of the earth. “It matters not to me which you choose.” You act as their soldier and obey their commands as well as you can without losing yourself. Walking into the training ring you are dismayed to see that you are fighting none other than the winter soldier, your soulmate. You fight with everything you have, your hatred for Hydra growing with every bruise and cut you are forced to bestow. You use the moments you have alone in your cell to plan. 

When you were younger you were forced to watch as Hydra wiped and programmed the soldier before they made you into one as well, at this point, you know his words by heart. You start to wonder, if they can make a series of trigger words to turn him into the Soldat, maybe you can come up with a phrase that will help bring him back. You spend the rest of the night creating the sentence that you will use, deciding on a nickname for him that has meaning to you.

Sunflower, that is the name you decide on. They are, after all, your favorite flower and if fate is to be trusted then he is to be your favorite person. The next day you begin implementing your plan, taking the opportunity to speak with him in the moments that you have him pinned down or he has you pinned down. 

  Every time it's the same phrase, spoken to him in Russian, “Hello Sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done." This continues for months until one day Hydra decides that you are fit to go on missions with the Soldier, they believe you to be thoroughly under their control.

Every mission you find a chance to say the phrase to him. In the time you spend with him you learn to read him. He isn’t expressive, Hydra made sure of that, but when you pay enough attention you start to see the minute changes in his eyes or stance. You begin to notice a difference in him whenever you speak the phrase, no matter when his last brainwashing was. He begins to recognize you, even when in full Winter Soldier mode. When you speak to him while training his hits get a little softer and less aggressive, and when you are on missions he speaks just a little bit more.

You are 23 when the unthinkable happens, while on a mission, without the winter soldier, you fall into a river in some backwater town in Europe. You are saved from drowning by a man that you just shot. A man you have only read about in the soldier’s files. Steve Rogers. After retrieving you from freezing water, he takes your unconscious body back with him to the medical wing in the Avengers tower.

As you wake up your first thought is where am I, your second thought is this bed is way too fucking comfortable for Hydra. Your eyes shoot open. The blinding light of the room causes you a headache to make itself known. You start to move, feeling a tug at your wrists, you slowly open your eyes and look down. You are cuffed to the railing of a hospital bed, great. You flop back onto the bed, cursing your luck and hoping that whoever has you is willing to listen. Your gaze shifts to the door when you notice a figure behind the glass. The glass doors slide open, and Steve walks in. This revelation causes you to tense up, even more, you did shoot him after all.

“Oh good you're awake,” he says, noticing your open eyes and tense figure. “Now I get to ask you all of the questions I’ve been wanting to ask for the past three days.” He takes a seat next to you, his whole body screams intimidation. "Who are you? Why did you shoot me? What were you doing in that town and where did you get these?" He questions not bothering to hide the anger in his voice. 

He is holding up Bucky’s dog tags in front of your face and waiting impatiently for you to answer. You want to snatch them out of his hand and place them back around your neck, after taking them from his file about a month ago you haven’t taken them off. You were going to give them to him after you got him out, which you were planning on doing within the next couple of weeks. But now you are stuck here and there is nothing you can do to get back to him. You look at Steve, desperation coloring your voice as you explain, praying that he will listen.

"My name is Y/N, my father is Hydra and forced me to become an experiment, a soldier for them. I was planning on escaping but I never could, I couldn’t escape and leave him there. Not when I could do something to save him. I couldn’t leave him there all alone." It came out in a rush. Your heart shatters as you realize that you have done exactly what you have tried so hard not to, you have left your soulmate in the hands of Hydra. You have to convince Steve to help you get him back.

"Wait a minute, you're Hydra?" He spits at you. Fuck, you forgot that he knew what hydra is and that he hates them with a passion. Well, at least we have something in common.

"Not by choice." You answer quickly, not liking the vehemence in his voice, yet unable to hide the hatred in your own. You notice the way his jaw relaxes the tiniest bit when you say that, if you hadn't had years of practice watching Bucky for the tiniest hints of himself you would have missed it.

"Alright then, who is this ‘he’ you keep mentioning?" Steve leans back, crossing his arms as he waits for your answer.

"My soulmate, the Soldier, the man on the dog tags, James Buchanan Barnes." Steve's eyes immediately narrow, his body goes stiff,

"You’re lying. I watched him fall from that train” His teeth are clenched as he speaks. “I watched him die! There is no way he's your soulmate!" you can practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

"I'm not lying! I swear!” you are terrified of what he will do if you can’t convince him. “Hydra got to him. They made him into a weapon, they brainwashed him and put him on ice when they didn’t need him so that they could control him better. I swear I'm not lying!" You can’t stop yourself from becoming slightly hysterical. Usually, you would remain calm in this type of situation, but this time you can’t. This time it’s Hydra and this time it’s James.

A girl, that you had noticed in the corner earlier, steps forward, resting a hand on his shoulder. You hear her murmur something to him, but you aren’t able to make out what exactly she says. His countenance softens when he looks at the girl and you are reminded of how you sometimes look at James. Turning back to you he stares for a moment before he making a decision,

“Fine, I can’t fully trust you and I can’t let you go, so you will have to live here in the tower, under surveillance. If you want us to trust you, you will have to prove yourself trustworthy." He stands, unlocks your cuffs, and strides out of the room, you understand, what you just told him is a lot to take in.

The girl that was with him turns to you, “I’ll make sure that they have a room ready for you as soon as you are well enough to leave the hospital.” She gives you a soft smile and turns to leave, pausing for a moment at the door.

“I have just one more question.” You nod at her when she pauses, you will try your best to answer it. “I know you shot Steve.” she starts. “But you missed anything important on purpose, didn’t you?" You just smile at her, she's right, but you know nothing you say will change anything. She studies you for a moment before walking out of the door.

  Your arrangement works for a year. In that year you have become close to the avengers that live there. During the first six months you and Steve’s girl, Sarah, spend every morning together. She wants to learn how to fight and you are willing to teach her. You become close, she is the first person in the tower to trust you. In return for teaching her to fight she teaches you sign language. Apparently, one of her siblings was born deaf so her whole family knows how to sign. You become closer to Steve during this time as well, he still doesn’t fully trust you but he is willing to tell you more about his best friend. He always calls him Bucky and you find yourself calling him that too. But they end up moving to DC, leaving you in the compound with mostly Tony for company. Natasha and Clint are in and out of the tower and you come to a mutual understanding. You and Natasha have similar upbringings and it forms a bond, not friendship, but definitely trust.  

Then after about a year of freedom from Hydra shit hits the fan. Fury is shot and Steve discovers that Hydra has been a part of Shield since the beginning. You have to escape the tower before Hydra gets to you, so you do. You keep an eye on Steve and Sarah, at a distance, of course, you know they will send Bucky after him and that will be your chance to get to him.

Then the bridge happens and you see your soulmate for the first time in a year. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest as you run towards him. You watch as he attacks Steve, you see Steve's shock as the mask falls off and you hear his heartbroken voice when he calls out for his friend. You hear Bucky’s crushing answer. You run, tackling him to the ground, just like you had done so many times in training. He fights back, you knew he would. You struggle with him, dodging punches and his knife. You are finally able to flip him onto the concrete and pin him down. Your heart in your throat as you stare into the eyes of your soulmate, praying as you speak that he will remember. Knowing that he has an unconscious reminder of you etched on his skin in ink. Here goes nothing. 

“Hello sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done."

Tagged users: @calwitch @writerwrites

[anna-justice]

But We Do - Upstead

Summary: 5 times Jay and Hailey said they were “just friends,” and 1 time they knew they were something more. 

Warnings: swearing, fluff, maybe mentions of violence?

Requested: No

…

1 - they don’t cancel other plans, have conversations with nothing but their eyes…

Jay walked out of the breakroom, phone pressed to his ear and a cup of coffee in his hand. They were wrapping up an intense day in intelligence, they had closed a big case involving a tender age victim, all of them were taking it pretty hard. 

“Hey man,” Jay said quietly as he approached his desk. He watched his partner sigh, running a hand through her tousled blonde hair. 

“Hey,” Will said, “We still on for the game tonight?” 

Jay kept his eyes on Hailey, she looked distraught. “Uh…” Hailey looked up, catching his gaze and giving him a weak smile. Jay furrowed his eyebrows at her and she shrugged, her chest heaving as she looked back down at her report. “Sorry. I can’t tonight, something came up. Raincheck?” 

“Yeah, no worries man.” Will said, “I’ll see you later.” 

“See you.” Jay agreed, finally finishing the last few steps to his desk. He sat down, placing all the reports on his desk in a neat pile. Swiftly, he leaned over the monitor in front of him and swiped a stack of papers off his partners desk, replacing them with his cup of coffee. 

Hailey was startled by the commotion, glancing up at the man across from her. He was focused on his computer screen, deep in thought. Hailey smiled softly, taking a sip of the coffee before getting back to work. Jay felt her gaze on him, he avoided it, focusing on the task before him. If he looked up he’d get lost in those bright blue eyes, and then he’d never get any work done. 

About an hour later, Jay threw his pen down on his desk, groaning. “I’ve written the word ‘offender’ so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a word anymore.” He said. 

Hailey cracked a smile, “You done?” She had been for about 20 minutes, but they were the last ones left, and she didn’t want to make him work alone, especially since he was helping with her work load. 

 Jay nodded, “Yep, just finished, ready to get out of here?” 

“Yes.” Hailey said immediately, grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. “Give Will my best.” 

Jay stood, “I’m not meeting Will.” He confessed. 

Hailey looked at him, confused. “You said you were going to the Hawks game, Jay, you’ve been excited all day.” She frowned, but he just shook his head.

“Will gets tickets for every game, there will be another one.” He jokes, but Hailey doesn’t look convinced. “I’m not really feeling it tonight, not after today…” It was true, he didn’t want to ignore his problems for the night, not when she’d call him out on it later anyway. Plus, Hailey was way more fun than a Hawks game.

She eyed him cautiously, “As long as you aren’t ditching on my account.” 

Jay laughed, “I am.” Hailey glared at him. “Not cause you need it, cause I do.” Her expression softens as Jay grabs his keys and coat, “Come on, drinks on me.” 

Hailey smiled, falling into step behind him. “You spoil me.” 

2 - they don’t call you in the middle of the night, couldn’t even tell you why…

Hailey shot up in her bed, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. She held a hand to it, trying to control her breathing. She hated to admit it, but nightmares were a constant issue for her, it was rare that she slept a full night.

It made sense, the trauma of her childhood, in addition to the horrors she sees on the force. When her mind wasn’t actively fighting against the memories, they were all consuming. Tonight though, was a special type of terror. It was often that Hailey dreamed of her green eyed partner, but sometimes he snuck into her nightmares. Every once in a while, she was transported back to that day, the day she almost lost him. And even though he lived, in her mind at night, the fear that he didn’t was overwhelming. 

She rolled over, clutching her pillow. All rationality said he was fine, probably asleep in his own bed. Her phone caught her eye, like it was pulling her to it. It sat there taunting her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, she just needed to hear his voice. 

Obviously, she had him on speed dial, only needing to click his contact. The ringing started and after the fourth one, she considered hanging up. Then after the fifth… “Hello?” A groggy voice asked. 

“Hi.” She said softly. She had the sudden urge to throw her phone out the window.

Jay sat up immediately, running his hand over his face, “Hailey? What’s wrong?”

Hailey froze, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Nothing.”

“Okay?” He said, not really convinced. 

“I just needed to make sure you were okay.” Hailey rushed out. She blushed to herself, thankful that he couldn’t see her crimson cheeks. 

That woke Jay up all the way, he sighed, his voice laced with concern. “Hailey, I’m fine.” He waited a few seconds. “Are you?” 

Hailey took a breath, she debated confessing everything she had been feeling lately. How affected she was by her dreaming that he was dead. “Uh, just a bad dream.” 

“About?” He asked. 

“That day.” She said softly. He didn’t say anything. “I’m okay, Jay.” She said,trying to reassure him.

She heard rustling over the line, “I’m sorry Hailey.” He said, “For what I put you through.” 

“I know.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening to each other breathe. It was oddly comforting, the constant assurance that the other one was there. “Jay?” Hailey asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay on the phone...until I fall asleep?” She asked, cautiously. It was a strange ask, especially because Hailey knew that there was no way she was going back to sleep, but she wasn’t ready to hang up, and she wasn’t ready to talk.

Jay sat there shocked, there was something so intimate about her request, something he wasn’t expecting, but certainly something he wasn’t upset about. “Yeah, I’ll be right here.” 

They both laid back down in their respective beds, phones laying on the pillow next to them. Eventually Hailey heard the sound of soft snores, she smiled to herself. She closed her eyes and just listened: he was alive and he was there.

3 - they don’t almost say “i love you,” when they’re downtown somewhere just a little drunk...

Jay sat in between Kevin and Will at Molly’s knocking back his third beer. They were celebrating Adam’s birthday, which meant they were in for a night full of alcohol. Adam was a bit of a control freak when it came to his birthday, insisting that everyone was at his beck and call for the day. They all let it slide, after all, he acted like their own personal assistant on each of their birthdays. 

“Okay boys.” Adam called to the long line of their friends sitting at the bar. “Time for shots!” 

Kevin laughed, “Are you paying?” 

Adam shrugged, “The party is on me tonight, but you all are responsible for getting me home alive.” 

Kevin nodded, looking to Jay, who nodded. “Copy that.” He turned to Herrmann, “I’m going to need two of those badboys and a glass of that fancy bourbon I know you are hiding back there.”

“Make that two,” Jay said, holding up his hand. 

Hailey, Kim and a few of the other girls watched the antics from across the bar. Stella came over, carrying a tray of miscellaneous cocktails and bottles. Kim’s jaw dropped and Hailey started laughing. Stella shrugged, setting the tray down. “I heard Ruzek’s buying.” She said, before floating back over to the bar.

“Thank you!” Hailey called.

Sylvie picked up a cup filled with green liquid, “Why is it green?” 

“Absinthe?” Kim asked.

Hailey quickly took the drink from Sylvie, “Believe me, you don’t want this.” 

Sylvie laughed, picking a different drink. “Yeah, probably not.” 

Hailey smiled, taking her pick of the tray. She played it safe, pulling a beer off the back. “Lame.” Gianna teased.

Hailey shrugged, “Someone has to get those losers home.” She glanced at the bar, watching her partner down a shot with Adam.   

Kim raised her glass, urging the other girls to do the same. “Happy Birthday Adam.” She said, and they all took a sip. 

About thirty minutes later, Jay was more gone than he had been in a long time. The man could hold his liquor, but he could not keep up with Kevin or Kelly. He was handed another shot by his brother, who was right there with him. Jay tossed it back, barely feeling the burn. 

He slumped over on his stool and turned to scan the bar, his gaze landed on his partner and it stayed there shamelessly. She was laughing, her head thrown back and her body visibly shaking. He smiled, leaning back against the bar and just watched.

Kevin glanced over, following his friend's gaze. He chuckled. “Jay, man.” He said, nudging his shoulder. “You’re staring.

“No I’m not.” Jay said, his gaze never leaving her. 

“Sure.” Kevin slurred, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around to face the bar. Jay glared at him, Kevin held up his hands in surrender. “I’m just trying to help you out.” 

“Chuckles is staring at you.” Trudy teased Hailey from across the table. Hailey, not so subtly, snapped her head around, causing the whole table to laugh. “Well, he’s not now.” 

Hailey slowly faced her friends again, her cheeks bright red. “Yeah, just checking.”

Sylvie giggled, she had taken a small sip of the absinth anyway. “You like him.” 

Hailey shook her head, “What? No.” She stared down her drink, “We’re partners. He’s my best friend.” 

“Okay.” Kim said, smirking, everyone else following suit. 

Before he knew it, Jay’s gaze was back on Hailey. She was so pretty, he didn’t even understand how someone could be so beautiful. He picked up the full shot glass, downing it quickly. He had spent the whole night thinking about her, and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel the way he did anymore. 

Jay pushed himself off the stool, stumbling a little, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he made way across the bar. “Hi Hailes.” He said, grabbing her attention.

Hailey smiled brightly. “Hey, having fun?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. She could tell he had been just by the way he was swaying in front of her. 

Jay nodded, “Yeah...um...I need to tell you something.”

The whole table watched him eagerly, “Yeah?” She asked, her heart racing.

Will looked over and his eyes widened at the empty seat next to him. “Kev.” He said.

Kevin looked over, “Shit.” He said. He motioned for Will to follow him and they raced over to Jay.

“I-” He started, but Kevin and Will appeared on either side of him. 

“Hi Hailey.” Kevin said.

“Bye Hailey,” Will continued, before grabbing his brother's arm and yanking him away from her. Hailey sat there in shock as they walked away, talk about a let down.

Jay huffed, ripping his arms away. “What was that?” He snapped.

“It was us saving your ass.”

4 - they don’t talk about the future, and put each other in it…

Hailey shifted in her seat, turning her body slightly towards the center console. She held up the camera in her hand, looking through the lens. She snapped a picture of the license plate of the car that just rolled up. 

“You see that?” Jay asked from the driver's seat, leaning back. Hailey nodded, taking another picture. Jay scribbled down the make and model into his notes before they watched the driver re-enter the car and drive away. 

A few minutes went by and they sat in silence once again, they had been on a stakeout for several hours and all they had to show for it was a few license plates. Hailey sighed, “So, the Sergeants exam sign up was posted this week.” She said, bringing up something she’d been meaning to for several weeks. 

“Okay?” Jay said, “You planning on taking it?” He asked, chuckling. 

Hailey shook her head, laughing lightly. “Me? No way. I think you should.” 

“What?” Jay, finally looked over at her. 

Hailey looked at him in disbelief, he really hadn’t thought about it? “Jay, you’ve been a detective for almost ten years, don’t you feel like it’s time to take the next step?” She asked.

Jay shrugged, “I hadn’t really thought about it...maybe in a couple more years. Why? You sick of me?” He teased.

“No,” Hailey said, rolling her eyes. “I just want you to succeed, and Voight has always said you’ll take the unit one day…”

“Yeah, one day.” He said, cracking a smile. To be honest, he had thought about the test, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to potentially move on from Intelligence or from his partner. 

Hailey turned to face him completely, “Well, when one day comes, I’ll help you study.” 

Jay watched her, her smile so genuine. He had just said that he was going to wait a couple more years, and Hailey intended to be there for them. “So, you’re keeping me around?” 

“Yeah, you haven’t pissed me off yet.” Jay gave her a look, “Much.” Hailey took a breath. “I’m serious Jay, I’ve got your back, no matter what, no matter when.”

“Thanks.” Jay said, squinting at her. 

Hailey scoffed, “You sound surprised…” 

Jay shook his head, “I’m not surprised, it’s just nice to hear you say it.” He turned to face her, “We don’t talk like this very much.” 

“Yeah, cause you show emotion once every three weeks.” Hailey teased, slapping his bicep.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.” 

Hailey laughed along with him, leaning her head against the window. “Jay, you know I’d follow you anywhere, even to another unit. I’m not losing this.” She gestured between the two of them.

Jay nodded, he knew she was talking about their partnership, but couldn’t help but hope she meant something else. “I know, and you’ll always have a spot, wherever I am.” 

“Good.” 

5 - they don’t stand around playing with their keys, finding reasons not to leave…

“Jay, can you stop hovering.” Hailey said, turning to face him. He had been following her around her kitchen for fifteen minutes while she did random things.  He had brought her home from the hospital a few hours earlier, and he hadn’t left her alone since. 

She was tackled down by a suspect earlier that morning and after getting checked out by Will, they learned that she had a few bruised ribs. It was nothing too serious, but it was enough for Jay to have a mini aneurysm about it, which is why Hailey was coming close to stabbing him with the knife she was trying to put away. 

Jay took a step back at her harsh words, putting his hands up. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Hailey stood up straight, placing her hands on her hips. “I think I’m capable of unloading my dishwasher.” 

“Alright,” He said, admitting defeat. He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you, thanks for dinner.” She said kindly, before turning back to her work. 

Jay opened the door, watching her for a few more seconds. He was about to leave when heard a thud, followed by a hiss. Within seconds, the door was slammed shut and he was back by her side. “Hailey.” He said, picking up the bowls that fell on the floor.

She huffed, leaning against the counter, hand draped over her stomach to cover her rib. “I’m fine, I just couldn’t reach.” She explained, nodding at the open cabinet. 

Jay sighed, “You’re not fine.” He set the stack of bowls neatly in the cabinet before turning to face her. “Come on.” 

Hailey rolled her eyes and followed him into the living room, sitting down on the couch next to him. He threw a blanket over her before getting up again. “What are you doing?” Hailey called after him.

There were sounds of rummaging in the kitchen, and then a few seconds later Jay appeared with a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. “Here.” He said, “You should take these.” 

He handed her the cup and Hailey took it gratefully. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah,” He took a step back, standing next to the couch. He shifted nervously, keeping his eyes on her. “Well, I guess I’m gonna go. Promise me you’ll stay put?” He asked, and Hailey nodded. “Okay, Goodnight Hailey.” He said, before walking out of the room.

Hailey sighed, as much as she hated being fawned over, she didn’t want him to leave. “Jay!” She yelled.

Two seconds later he was standing in front of her again, “Yeah?” 

“I’m probably going to need your later…” She said, watching a smile appear on his face. “Do you just want to stay?” 

“Yes.” He said immediately, “I mean…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “If you really need me to.” 

Hailey laughed, “I do.” Jay took it as an invitation to reclaim his seat on the couch, pulling the other half of the blanket over him. Hailey leaned her head on his shoulder and stayed put, exactly like she promised she would.

but we do…

Hailey sat with her head resting in her hand as she watched Jay from across the room. She was staring, and it was obvious, but he was too busy chatting up some girl to notice her gaze. Molly’s was crowded, like normal, but tonight she had decided to sit alone. She had been watching the girl flirt with her partner for a while now, and she didn’t want to bring anyone else down with her mood. 

She thought things had changed, that maybe Jay felt the same way about her, but the look on his face right now was telling her otherwise. Hailey sighed, averting her gaze and staring absently at her phone, trying to distract herself. It wasn’t working. 

“You know,” A familiar redhead said as they slid into the seat across from her, “You could just tell him how you feel.”

Hailey sat up straight, looking at the other Halstead in disbelief. “What?” 

Will laughed, “Don’t even deny it Hailey, I’ve been watching you make eyes at my brother for the last hour.” 

“I’m not making eyes.” She snapped, keeping her gaze trained on him. 

“Okay.” Will said, taking a sip of his beer. “Just for the record, I think you would be satisfied with his answer.”

Hailey jumped off her stool, throwing a ten down on the table. She was glad she had decided to only have one beer, she was sober enough to get the hell out of there. “Goodnight Will.” She said shortly before rushing towards the door, not giving her partner a second glance as she passed. 

Jay watched the blur of blonde hair fly past him, noticing that it was Hailey walking out the door. His eyebrows laced together and he stood, “It was really great to see you Marissa, but I need to go.” He said quickly before grabbing his jacket and racing out the door after his partner, he was gone so fast that he didn’t even hear the girl say goodbye.

“Hailey!” He called after her.

Hailey turned around, she was only a feet ahead of him, she blamed her short legs. “I’m fine Jay, go back to your date.” She said a little harsher than she meant to before turning to walk away again. 

“Date?” He asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him. “Hailey, that was Will’s ex-girlfriend, I was friends with her brother in high school, we were just catching up.” 

Hailey scoffed, “That little shit, ugh, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to explain yourself to me Jay, we’re just friends.” 

Jay ran his hands through his hair, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Are we?” He snapped. That got Hailey’s attention, she watched him closely as he took a step forward. “Hailey, I’ve to convince myself that there was nothing here, because you are my best friend. But friends don’t act the way we do, I saw you watching me tonight, that wasn’t a ‘friendly’ look.” He said. 

Hailey blushed, looking at the ground. “Jay-”

He tilted her chin up to look at him. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I can’t. I love you Hailey...and I think you love me too.” Hailey swore she stopped breathing for a second, his eyes were locked on her and she couldn't believe what he was saying. She searched his face for any trace of regret or concern for her, because half of her still thought she was hallucinating. “Feel free to say something-” She reached up and pulled him down to her, attaching their lips. Jay arms secured themselves around Hailey’s waist as he lifted her up to meet his height, her arms wrapping around his neck.

Jay held her tightly against him, his lips never leaving hers. Finally, Hailey pulled away, breathless. “For the record,” She said, taking a deep breath, her hand running down the side of his face. “You’re my best friend too.” Jay smiled, but she knew he was waiting for something else. “And I love you too.” 

…

A/N: I’ve had the idea for this fic for forever, so I’m glad I finally had a reason to write it. I’ve been a Maddie & Tae (ft. lyrics from “Friend’s Don’t) fan since the beginning and I’ve always thought that this song was the Upstead anthem. It’s perfect for them. Thanks for reading!

[dreamingofaizawa]

Obedient

Soft Yan! Erasermic x Chubby Fem! Reader

Summary: Reader gets a new home and is perfectly fine with it, but soon her desires get the best of her.

**18+ Fic**

Warnings: Kidnapping, drug use, NSFW, smut, double penetration, yandere themes, light D/S dynamic, daddy kink like once, BDSM themes, Stockholm Syndrome, overall nastiness

Word Count: 5.1k

Author’s Note: This one’s extremely self indulgent, focusing on a chubby or heavy reader and their insecurities being accepted. Also, I feel like these two would be unfairly amazing with aftercare. If you skip the warnings it ain’t my fault if you don’t like what you read. Thanks and enjoy!

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“Happy birthday to me” you mumbled to yourself as you polished off your third glass of whiskey of the night.

It was late, probably close to 2 am, and you sat at your usual spot on the end of the bar. You rapped your knuckles on the wooden countertop, signaling the bartender to pour you another glass. He obliged with a nod and a warm smile, which you easily returned. It was always like this, sitting alone at the edge of the bar on a Friday night, drinking away your stress where you knew you wouldn’t be bothered by your meddlesome coworkers.

The bar was getting quiet, with only a handful of patrons chatting and laughing away in their drunken states. And they were there again. Always sitting in the corner of the establishment, tucked away in a booth together. The two men were there when you started attending the bar on a regular basis a few months ago, and always stayed after you’d left. It seemed normal at first, just a couple of guys drinking at a bar. But you’d caught them looking at you on several occasions. You never looked at them directly, but you always saw their reflections in the glass bottles of liquor, their eyes trained on you with no clear expressions on their faces. They never came over to talk, never made a move, never even got within 5 feet of you. And that’s the way you liked it.

Until tonight.

Both men stood up, and you watched as their reflections casually made their way over to the bar. You averted your eyes and pretended not to notice, hoping they’d leave you alone. “Hey there” Well, so much for leaving me alone. You turned to see a handsomely rugged man looking down at you, his raven hair loose and framing his chiseled jaw and his dark eyes peering into your own. You notice a curved scar just under his right eye. His friend stood beside him, with long blonde hair tied up in a laxed ponytail and hypnotic green eyes trained on you behind orange tinted sunglasses.

“Hi fellas” you spoke, eyeing the two with a quirked eyebrow. The blonde moved over to your left and sat down next to you, the other choosing to stand on your right. “Hey little listener! Mind if I sit here?” the blonde asked with a megawatt grin, the sheer volume of his voice startled you a little. “Not at all” you said with a warm smile. ‘Listener? What a strange nickname’ you thought. There was a few seconds of silence before the dark haired man spoke. “So, what’s the occasion?” You wondered how he knew there was an occasion, and almost reading your mind he said, “You’re pretty dolled up for a night at the bar” Huh. Looks like they were watching me after all. 

You took a swig of whiskey before speaking. “Nothing special. It’s just my birthday”. And you meant it. Your birthday was never anything special. Just a testament to another routine year on this earth. “I’d say that’s pretty special, sunshine!” the blonde nudged your shoulder as he spoke. You laughed at that statement. “Nah, just another year gone by” The alcohol was starting to get to you, you could tell. You were never this talkative sober. 

The black haired man knocked on the bar, “Next round’s on me. Hey barkeep, one more glass for this pretty kitten here” The pet name made your cheeks tingle a little, but you kept it under control and tilted your head. You scoffed “Kitten? Really?” He looked you up and down and said “Well how would you describe yourself, kitty?” He smirked at you, waiting for your response. The logical side of your brain warned you ‘Don’t do it, you can’t be self deprecating on your 25th birthday’. You didn’t listen. “Well I’m far from cat-like. Chubby, short, chunky. The only thing cat-like about me would have to be my trained posture and eyeliner” You chuckled, matter-of-factly. You worked as a waitress at an esteemed high-end restaurant and you had to learn to be quick on your feet, agile, and most importantly, poised.

“Hmm, pretty and humble” the blonde muttered. You laughed again “Pretty. Right”. Neither of them said anything. You looked at the two men, closely. Where did you recognize them? Why did they look so familiar? There was silence as you studied their faces. Then it struck you. Your eyes went wide and you took a sharp inhale “You’re Eraserhead” you looked over at him, and then turned to the blonde “And you’re Present Mic”. Both men grinned at the recognition, “In the flesh sunshine”. You turned and stared at your drink, feeling your face get warm. You were extremely socially awkward and hated confrontation, even if it were friendly, so you did the only thing that could save you and excused yourself to the ladies’ room. 

Once the door closed behind you you let out a shaky breath and leaned over the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. What the hell were they doing talking to you? Or even looking at you? You backed up, deciding to fix yourself. You pulled your skirt down a little further over your thighs, tugged your thigh-high socks a little higher, and redid your ponytail.Taking a deep breath, you walked back out to the two heroes and sat down, a new glass of whiskey on the bartop in front of you. With slightly shaky hands you grabbed the glass and took a big swig, then glanced between the two men and said “It’s very nice to meet you” Eraserhead chuckled and Mic said “Likewise sweetheart. The name’s Hizashi” “And you can call me Shouta”.

The night went on and the three of you talked for another hour or so. Eventually you glanced at your watch and decided it’s time to go home. “Let us take you home (y/n)” Shouta offered. You declined politely, you couldn’t intrude on them any more than you already had. But they insisted, so you obliged, deciding that walking home in these 4-inch platform boot heels would kill you. Shouta hadn’t had a drink all night so he hopped in the driver’s seat, Hizashi in the passenger and you in the back. You punched your address into the GPS and the car started moving. 

“Water?” Hizashi offered, holding a bottle of water over the back of his seat. You took it and thanked him, immediately chugging the whole bottle in one breath. You didn’t notice Shouta watching you, and you didn’t notice the bottle had already been opened and laced with something. Soon your head became heavy, along with your eyelids as you tried to blink away sleep. “You seem tired (y/n), why don’t you take a nap. We’ll wake you up when we get there” You nodded and sprawled across the backseat, settling into a deep sleep, unaware that you were never going to see your bed again.

You woke up sore and stiff, and you stretched out, feeling the soft silky sheets under your body. It took you a moment to realise these weren’t your sheets, and you snapped your eyes open and sat up to an unfamiliar room. “Shit” you cursed under your breath. You strained your memory to see if you’d gone home with anyone the night before, but the last thing you remember was being driven home by two pro heroes and passing out in the backseat of their car. Your head began to swim with possibilities and questions. Where am I? Why am I here? Where were the two heroes? You tried to cross your legs but your left ankle was stopped short. You threw the blanket off and saw a metal cuff and a thick chain holding you in place. 

You felt yourself start to panic, but leveled your head and steadied your breathing before you lost control. You willed yourself to relax, and think of ways to get out of this predicament. Today is Saturday. Whoever took me would be here, assuming this room is part of a larger house. You stilled your nerves and gently called out. “H-hello? Is there anyone there?” A few seconds later you hear footsteps, and the door opened. The last thing you expected to see was a handsomely rugged pro hero Shouta Aizawa standing in the doorway. “Morning kitty” he said with a smirk.

You froze in place and blinked at the man. You lost yourself in your head, remembering all the yandere fanfic you read, remembering last night and piecing things together. The bottle of water was already open. To be fair, they are heroes. Letting your guard down was only natural. A hand on your shoulder jolted you back to reality. You stared at Shouta like a deer in headlights. “You okay there?” You blinked back at him, and swallowed down the lump in your throat before saying “Let me guess. This is my new home”. He stared back down at you before chuckling, “Well that’s not the reaction I was expecting. You’re a smart little kitty, aren’t you?”

He left the room and you got lost in thought again. You knew you shouldn’t be so calm, so willing, so obedient. But you also knew how boring your life had been, how mundane and lonely. You had cut ties with your family a long time ago, and you didn’t have any friends because of your trust issues and antisociality. You knew, deep down, you wanted something like this to happen. To give up control.

And it shone through the more you explored in your late teen years. You found how much you loved the idea of having a dominant person to tell you you were doing good, someone you could trust to guide you. Someone to take over and lead you. The few relationships you had fell through once your partner learned about your preferences. They weren’t willing to put a collar on you, like you were some sort of animal. They never understood the trust and respect that came with the garment. 

Maybe this was your chance to have the relationship you’d always yearned for. To be loved for exactly who you are. And you knew it was wrong to want to like your captors, the people who kidnapped you. But in reality what were you going to do? Try to escape and risk injuring yourself? Or worse, risk getting caught and be punished for it? There were no realistic scenarios where you got out of here and escape from them completely. If they were the yandere types you thought them to be, you knew it was pointless to struggle.

Shouta came back and broke you out of your thoughts with a tray of pancakes, fruit, and a glass of orange juice. You shifted so you were sitting against the headboard and he placed the tray on your lap. You mumbled a small ‘thank you’ and began to eat, only now realizing how hungry you were. About halfway through the meal he spoke. “You know, you’re taking this really well.” You finished the food in your mouth and looked at him “Well there’s no use panicking. I’d only end up hurting myself. Besides, it’s not like I can get out” you said, motioning to the chain and cuff around your ankle. “You’re not wrong,” he said back, and left you to finish breakfast. 

He came back ten minutes later, took the tray, and returned with a key, handcuffs, and a blindfold. “I’m sure you need to use the bathroom” you nodded, acknowledging the pressure on your bladder “These are just a precaution” he said as he locked the cuffs around your wrists and tied the blindfold around your head. You felt the cuff on your ankle fall off and Shouta’s arms under your knees and back as he lifted you off the bed and carried you to where you assumed the bathroom was. Once inside, he put you down and took the blindfold and cuffs off. He stepped outside and locked the door and said “I’ll be waiting out here. Once you’re done knock on the door and I’ll take you back to the bed”. You nodded, and did just that. Back on the bed, he locked the cuff around your ankle and stood to leave before you stopped him. 

“H-hey, S-shouta?” he turned around and quirked an eyebrow, “Can I…draw?” You had no idea if he’d let you have anything, but you had to try. If you were going to be stuck in here you needed a way to keep yourself occupied. He hummed and left the room, returning with a sketch pad, a pencil, and an eraser. Once he left you began sketching away, deciding koi fish were to be the subjects of your creativity.

Days went by, being served three meals a day by either Shouta or Hizashi. Eventually, they began to question why you were so obedient and calm about the whole situation. They began to think you were just trying to get them to let their guard down, and give you a chance to escape. You always answered their questions truthfully. “I don’t mind it here. My life had always been uneventful so the change is mildly appreciated. And you treat me well, so I can say I’m at least a little happy”. They weren’t anything like you expected. They weren’t overly protective or controlling, never posed any kind of threat. Never tried to convince you of anything, not that they had to.

After about a week, they took the cuff off your ankle and stored it away. “You can roam the house freely” Shouta said, holding his hand out to you. Gingerly you took his hand, slowly standing from the bed. Your legs shook a little, but Shouta held you so you could stretch them out and get comfortable walking again. He walked out, motioning for you to follow. You ended up in the dining room, sitting at the table. With Shouta sitting next to you, you assumed Hizashi was in the kitchen cooking dinner.

“So (y/n), what have you been drawing?”. The question caught you off guard, but you answered “Koi fish”. “Ah, any particular reason why?”. You thought to yourself for a moment, and answered “Well they’re gorgeous creatures, elegant, sleek, graceful. I’ve always loved drawing koi”. He hummed, seemingly pleased with your answer. You then started to ramble a bit about how koi reminded you of dragons for some reason, and how beautiful you thought dragons were.

Soon dinner was served and Hizashi was caught up in the conversation. After dinner you all went to watch movies in the living room, and you dozed off between the two men, relishing in the warmth their bodies radiated. Shouta carried you to the bed and laid you down to sleep, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. He stood there, admiring you for a few minutes before leaving to join Hizashi in their room.

———————-

After a couple months living with the two men, thoughts began to swirl around in your brain. Caring thoughts. And needy, dirty thoughts. You’d push them away as quickly as they came because you knew what was happening. You read about Stockholm syndrome many times, and you tried desperately to remind yourself that liking them was wrong. But you were in far too deep. Eventually the part of you that tried to fight it lost miserably and you stopped pushing those thoughts away, because despite the kidnapping, they were nothing but good to you.

The days they’d both have to leave for their hero duties were the days you’d begin to realize you missed them. You dug through their closet and began to wear one or the other’s t-shirts around the house. Eventually it became normal. You’d always wear their clothes, whether they were home or not, and they didn’t seem to mind. You got closer to them, getting more cuddly and affectionate, giving and receiving more kisses. Soon you were all sleeping together, and life began to feel strangely normal. But the realization of how sexually frustrated you were drove you mad. 

You wanted to feel their hands on you, touching you, caressing you, making you feel good. You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed them. But you had some pride, so you just left hints. You dressed lighter, showing more skin. Not wearing any shorts with their t-shirts, letting the collars drop and expose your shoulders. You could see them looking. Their glances made you ache, you wanted them so bad. But they weren’t budging. So you gave in and tossed your pride aside.

One day after they came home from patrol and dinner was finished, you quickly washed the dishes and tugged them over to the living room couch and sat down on the coffee table, facing them. Their confused expressions only grew more confused when your face burned red. What you were about to ask them embarrassed you to no end, but you had to do it or you’d go insane.

You took a deep breath, looked up at them, and began quietly. “S-so, um, I really like it here, and…and I appreciate everything you two have done for me…” you swallowed the lump that formed in your throat, “a-and I know you’ve given me everything I asked-” you were abruptly cut off by Shouta saying “No, (y/n), you can’t go outside”. The statement threw you off, and you quickly rambled “N-no, no! That’s not…I wasn’t asking to leave! I love it here and I love just being with you two and doing whatever…but it’s not what we do…it’s what we…don’t do…that’s bothering me…just a little bit…”

Shouta’s stern expression turned soft, then after a few moments  a knowing smirk tugged at his lips. Hizashi still looked as confused as before the conversation and said “Sunshine, you aren’t making much sense. There’s a lot of things we don’t do”. Shouta spoke up “‘Zashi, hold on”. Hizashi quieted and shrugged. Shouta looked at you with narrow eyes and a knowing smirk. “Come here kitty” he said and pat his leg. The name sent shivers down your spine. You bit your lip, got up and straddled his lap. He tucked his finger under your chin and pulled so you were looking him in the eyes “I think our kitty cat’s getting a little needy, ‘Zashi. Isn’t that right kitty?”. Your face burned fiercely, and you bit your lip harder and gave a small nod.

Shouta dropped his hand and grabbed your waist, lifting you off his lap and onto Hizashi as he stood up to get something. You closed your eyes and let out a small squeak from the sudden movement. You opened your eyes to Hizashi’s wide grin. He wrapped his arms around your waist, leaned forward and slotted his lips against yours, giving you a soft affectionate kiss. You melted into his arms, letting a haze drift into your mind. Shouta came back holding something, but you couldn’t quite see it in his hand. You looked back up at his face, and he looked at Hizashi. The two shared a look and you couldn’t quite place their expressions. 

Shouta sat down, and began gently rubbing your arm. He seemed to be trying to figure out how to say something, but he decided actions were better than words. He took a small breath and held up what he’d been holding. And it made your breath hitch in your throat. You realized in that moment that they had been watching you a lot more than just at the bar. They knew about your relationship issues, your preferences, they knew everything. 

It was a collar. And it was beautiful. One half was black leather, studded with yellow gems, the other half yellow with black gems, and the center had a silver loop with a little bell. You reached out and touched it, letting your fingers trace over the gems. You look up at Shouta and the question leaves your lips before you can think. “Is it for me?” he nods, and it made tears prick the corners of your eyes. He knew what you wanted. They both did. He gives a sweet smile and moves behind you, looping it around your neck. You hold your hair up, and wait for the sound.

Click

It locks, and you shudder, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Shouta tilts your head and kisses you, soft and deep. He loops a finger through the collar and gently tugs, and you let out a mewl, letting him dip his tongue past your lips. A haze drifts over your mind in a thick blanket, and you melt into the kiss. He pulls away, and you look up at him with lust-blown eyes, then look at Hizashi who leans over and kisses your cheek. 

Hizashi picks you up and places you on the floor and the two stand up, Shouta loops a finger in your collar and tugs, and the two lead you over to the bedroom. Hizashi begins to undress first, and Shouta pulls you into another heated kiss. This time a little more rough, a little more passionate, his tongue gliding over yours. He bites your bottom lip and you let out a soft moan. Hizashi, now completely naked, sits on the edge of the bed and calls out to you “Come over here baby”. You pull away from Shouta and walk over to the blonde. He motions for you to turn around, and he grabs your hips and pulls you onto his lap. 

He pulls off the shirt you’re wearing, groaning after seeing you had no bra on. He pulls you by your arms, pressing your back against his chest, and peppers kisses along your neck and shoulders. You mewl softly, shuddering from the sensation. You didn’t know kisses could feel so good. Shouta comes over and starts to massage your breasts, kneading them with his palms and grazing over the sensitive buds. Hizashi brings his hands to your stomach and gently caresses and grabs at the soft flesh, squishing and kneading the fat gathered there.

You whine from the contact, and feeling extremely self-conscious you grab his arms and try to pull him away. He shushes you and whispers in your ear “It’s okay, baby, let me feel you. You’re so beautiful”. He nips at your ear and kisses your neck. You let your arms relax and drop to your sides, letting the blonde explore your body the way he wants. Shouta kneels in front of you and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling. He grabs your thighs and pulls your legs apart, squeezing the fat there. 

As the two squeeze and grope every part of you that you never liked, you can’t help but feel exposed and slightly uncomfortable. You whimper softly, tears beginning to sting your eyes as you take shaky breaths to still yourself. Hizashi turns your head and kisses away the tears as they fall, and Shouta leans up and kisses your belly and thighs. “Shhh kitty, let us love you. Let us love all of you, kitty cat. You’re so pretty…such a pretty little kitty~”. 

You relax further, and you realize these two beautiful men are worshipping your body like you’re a goddess. You’re far from being comfortable in your skin, but the initial fear is gone, and your body relaxes as they continue their ministrations. “Good girl kitty. Good girl” Shouta whispers as he kisses and nips at your thighs. “Open your legs for us baby” Hizashi dips his fingers down and teases your dripping core, slipping up and down your folds as Shouta pulls your panties down and off your legs. You buck your hips up, begging for more friction. He dips two fingers into your core and a soft moan escapes your lips.

He reaches his thumb up to rub tight circles over your clit, and you mewl at the sensation, rocking your hips into his hand. Shouta continues focusing on your breasts and belly, kneading and kissing and licking. Soon you feel a knot form in your stomach, tightening and burning. Hizashi feels your pussy clenching around his fingers and quickens his pace, curling his fingers to hit your g-spot and rubbing your clit faster. The knot snaps and you’re falling apart on Hizashi’s lap, back arched and legs shaking, you throw your head back against his shoulder and cry out, pleasure racking your body in waves. Hizashi keeps moving his fingers inside you, letting you ride out your high.

After your release you relax back down, breathing hard. Hizashi lifts you up and lays you down on the bed, Shouta crawling up over you and kissing you sweetly. He grabs your legs and wraps them around his waist, lining up his painfully hard erection with your throbbing pussy. “You ready kitty?” He asks, and you look up at him through your lashes and nod. He tugs at your collar “Use your words kitty cat. Are you ready for me?”. Your eyes widen slightly and you answer without thinking “Yes Daddy”. Shouta growls at the name and swears under his breath. He thrusts his hips forward and bottoms out in one movement. You gasp, the stretch around his thick length was almost enough to make you cum a second time.

Shouta stills to let you adjust and leans down to kiss the bruises on your neck from Hizashi. “I’m going to move now kitty. Relax for me” He starts slow, groaning as he watches his length slide in and out of your core. Your warmth feels so good around his cock, and he moves faster, driving his cock deep into your pussy, walls clenching around him. Hizashi lays down next to you and puts two fingers into your mouth. Your tongue slides over his fingers, coating them in your saliva. 

He pulls them out and goes to rub your clit, leaning over and placing open mouth kisses along your collarbone, sucking new bruises onto your skin. Suddenly both men stop their movements, Shouta pulling out and Hizashi removing his hand from your mound and you whine at the emptiness, your pussy clenching around nothing. Shouta moves to sit and pulls you onto his lap, pressing your chests together, and Hizashi sits up behind you, pressing against your back. “On your knees baby girl, hold yourself up” Hizashi says into your neck.

You oblige, holding yourself up as the two men line themselves up with your dripping core. Once they’re ready, They grab your hips and pull you onto them, both of their hard cocks slipping into your pussy. You throw your head back against Hizashi’s shoulder, nearly screaming from the stretch. Your nails dig into Shouta’s back as they bottom out. They still their movements, all three of you panting hard. Despite the lack of movement, you mewl and whimper, your walls clenching and stretching to accommodate the both of them.

You relax slightly, feeling fuller than you’ve ever been before, and they immediately start to move. They pull out until just the tips are still in, and slam you down onto them, setting a brutal pace. You scream from the pleasure, clawing at the muscles in Shouta’s back. Hizashi reaches around to rub your clit and it shoves you over the edge and has you cumming around them, your essence dripping down your thighs and their cocks. They keep slamming back into you, your pussy clenching around them. They slow their pace ever so slightly, feeling their own release building. Hizashi keeps rubbing tight circles around your clit “Do you have one more for us baby? Cum one more time”.

You whine from the overstimulation, feeling every vein as they pump themselves in and out of your core. Tears fall down your cheeks and a familiar tension fills the pit of your stomach. Shouta leans down and bites down hard on the sweet spot between your neck and shoulder, just under the collar, and it pulls you over, crying out as your pussy clamps down hard. Their hips stutter, and they pick up the pace, chasing their own release as you ride out your high. They thrust two more times and they’re both shooting hot ropes of cum into you, filling you to the brim. 

They still their movements, holding you and each other close. After a few moments, they pull out together, the movement making you moan and shake. Your body goes limp and Shouta pulls you to lean against him. You’re sobbing softly into Shouta’s shoulder, your last release washing over your body almost painfully, your bones already beginning to ache. Shouta rubs your back softly and Hizashi peppers soft kisses along your shoulders. 

Shouta picks you up and the three of you go over to the bathroom. Hizashi plugs the drain and turns on the tap to fill the large tub with hot water. Shouta climbs in and sits down, still cradling you, and the slowly rising water begins to soothe you. Hizashi pulls out a tube of ointment and rubs it onto Shouta’s back, relieving the scratch marks you left on him. After tending to Shouta he takes off your collar and sinks into the tub, leaning against you. You let the two massage you and wash you, bringing you back down to earth.

“You okay kitten?” Shouta rumbles into your ear, petting your hair. You nod into his shoulder and grab Hizashi’s hand, squeezing it appreciatively. They both muttered soft ‘good girl’s and ‘good kitty’s in you ears. You felt secure with them, the hot water and the care of the two bring you back down to earth, and you start to feel fatigue pulling at your consciousness. Hizashi notices you drifting off. He takes you from Shouta and dries you off with a towel and loops your collar back around your neck. “Sho, I’m going to take her to bed. When you’re ready come join us”. Shouta hums and Hizashi carries you to bed.

You lay with Hizashi and cuddle into his chest, letting him hold you and rock you as you drift off. After a few minutes you feel the bed behind you dip and look up at Shouta with half lidded eyes. He gives you a peck on the lips before nuzzling against your back. With a long, soft sigh you melt into their arms, and as you fall asleep you mumble a soft “I love you both” into Hizashi’s chest, and Shouta whispers into your ear “We love you too kitty cat.”

[bokutouch]

Hi!!! I was wondering if I could get an eternal matchup pls??

- my names Olivia and I’m 17.

- I go by she/her pronouns and I want to be matched with a male character from Haikyuu!! please.

- My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest).

- I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes.

- I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. I'm currently a summer camp counselor but I hope to be a lab tech one day :)

- If I were to go on a date with a partner I don't really mind what we do, but I like book dates, movie dates, and especially museum dates!! In a partner I'm looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, is kind, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly can understand and work through my emotions with me. I get really bad mood changes so if he can work with me through that I really value it. My love languages are acts of service and quality time.

- I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol.

- To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1.

- I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this! ❤

Hello olivia, thanks for coming to my brand new rocket ship!! 🚀

first of all I apologize bcs I'm not really educated about astrology,

so I'll just use your other description as best as I could okay??

I SHIP YOU WITH AKAASHI KEIJI!

"why akaashi?" you might askㅡ

first of all, some part of you reminded me of bokuto.

and some part of you definitely reminded akaashi of bokuto too. it's not a bad thing really.

Akaashi looks at you and think, "ah, she is my home."

because "home" supposed to be comfortable, because home supposed to be familiar. Being with you bring him peace. You are his home, his tranquility, his safe haven.

Most people told him, "God- you are such a boring person, Akaashi." and as the time goes by, he is starting to believe that tooㅡ but thats until you come into his life.

You're one of his classmate. And not gonna lie, at first akaashi only know you as the quiet girl who always buried her nose in books. "If I am boring, she must be a lot more boring than me." that's what he thought of you, bcs really everytime he sees you, its always you and your books. He understands the importance of having good grades, but should you really be doing that everyday?

The first time you two have a really long talk was when one day akaashi saw you still sitting inside your shared classroom, all alone bcs it's almost 6 pm and of course everybody left already. Nose buried deep in books like you always do, but this time he could hear you humming a song- it's a song that he also enjoyed listening to. He never sing in front of other people before, but for some reason he wanted to join your little secret concert at that time, so he did. He sing along to your little hummingㅡ 1 song turn into 2, turn into 3, and you still didn't notice him at all. He laughed a little because "what's so interesting in that clinical laboratory science book that she doesn't even realized I've been here for almost 10 minutes already."

He tapped your shoulder two times, and you jumped at that.

"H-hey? Um, sorry, I just.. I've been waiting here for you to finally notice me but I guess that book is really interesting, huh?" he smiled at you, feeling a little bad after seeing your reaction at his little tap tap on your shoulder.

"Oh, yes... I want to be a lab tech in the future, so um you know, just preparing." you awkwardly smiled back at him.

"Well, uh.. I know you definitely going to be an amazing lab tech one day. I saw you reading tons of books related to that job everyday in class, so... I believe your hardwork will be paid off."

"wait... that was so nice of him." you stared at akaashi who's currently fidgeting with his fingers.

"Thank you for saying that, Akaashi. That really means a lot to me. People have been telling me that my dream job is just that, a dream. Hearing you saying that someday my hardwork will be paid off really motivate me to prove them wrong. I swear I'm gonna rub it on their face once I got the job." you grins at him.

And at that, Akaashi heart beating a little bit faster than the usual. Was it your thankful speech for him? Was it your cute little grin? He doesn't really knowㅡ one thing he knows for sure though, he wants to keep talking to you. From today, tomorrow, and as long as you would let him.

"Hey, uh... it's going to get dark soon. Do you maybe want to go home together with me?"

You could see how nervous akaashi was after asking you that question, so you just nods and start fixing your books into your bag. Right before you zip up your bag, you remembered the main reason you are still in the classroom at that hour is because you were planning to see the sunset on your way back home, "Wait Akaashi, I actually want to see the sunset today..."

"Oh? I usually go home as the sun set due to my volleyball practice. The sight look really pretty if you see it from on top of the hills behind our school. Do you want to go there? I can show you the best spot."

Of course you accept his offer enthusiastically. So yes, that day is the beginning of your friends to lovers type of relationship with Akaashi.

Akaashi confessed to you first.

His friend circle are full of annoying people. They all be like,

"COME ON AKAASHI!! CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO OLIVIA ALREADY."

"AKAASHI, DO YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER GUY SNATCH HER UP? HUH? ANSWER ME. AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!! WAIT UP!! "

"AKAASHI, WHAT IF OLIVIA DECIDED TO FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND WON'T CONFESS TO HER?"

"AKAASHI THIS" "AKAASHI THAT" "AKAASHI" "AKAASHI"

so during your usual study date day, he just decided to straight up ask you to be his girlfriend.

"W-what?" you just sat there for a whole minute because... what if things gonna feel different once you two put a real label to your not so friendly friendship? What if being friends with Akaashi is a lot more better than being his girlfriend? What if he ended up leaving you because he doesn't like the real you? There are so many ugly things that you hide from him, would he still love you the same after seeing all those imperfection? so many what if(s) going inside of your head, so little time to actually process each one of it.

"Umm, you can say no, you know...." all the messy thoughts inside your head stopped right away after hearing that.

"NO! wait, Keiji- I mean, not no to be your girlfriend, its no to me saying no to be your girlfriend." God, its hard to be in love. You can't control your heart, your brain, and now your tongue. God bless your soul, olivia.

"So.... is that a yes to be my girlfriend then?" Akaashi looks really small in that moment. He is still not sure if he can finally kiss you or not. Only being a friend to you for these past 6 months kept him from doing a lot of romantic stuff with you. Kissing you, holding your hands for no reason, hugging you any time he wants to, actually go on a study date with you instead of a childish study day. So now he really won't waste a single time if you answer his previous question with a "Yes" ;

After having a long talk about your imperfections, all your insecurities, and also tons of frustrated tears coming from your eyes, you finally say yes and there you have your new title as Akaashi Keiji's new girlfriend. He definitely got his long waited kiss from you too 🌻.

HEADCANON(s)!!

Bokuto once joined you and akaashi's museum date and he broke a statue hand after trying to handshake the statue. He grabbed the broken hand and show it to you and akaashi with teary eyes. Can't do nothing but running for your life and never comeback to that one particular museum 😭

You and Akaashi have the same love language, "Act of Service" ; So the two of you enjoy giving each other little massage here and there.

Just like you, Akaashi love being helpful for others too, so he really enjoyed the time he spent accompanying you to all your community service agendas. People that you two have been helping together ship you guys so much, especially the elderly couple. They keep saying "You two will make it until old days like us two."

After a long time dating eachother, you two decided to adopt a cute siberian husky that you named "Bobo". Akaashi rejected that name at first, because "Honestly love, I don't like how you picked a name so close to Bokuto's name. Our dog deserves better." You gasped at that, "How dare you, Keiji. This is our son! And his name is Bobo. I don't take no for an answer."

RUNNER UP(s) !!

OSAMU MIYA

SAWAMURA DAICHI

SHINSUKE KITA

alright this getting too long haha.

I hope you enjoy the results, love 🦋

[taylizmasterpost]

Reconciliation and Late-Stage Tayliz (September 2014 - Present)

Despite not seeing each other for a while, Taylor and Liz clearly still hold a soft spot in each other’s hearts.

During the Secret Sessions for 1989 in Nashville, fans took pictures in Taylor’s home, and you can clearly see she has photos from Charleston displayed:

When it came time to mend the fences between Taylor and Liz, Claire Callaway was the one who ended up doing it:

2 October 2014 - Claire tweets a TBT to the Charleston trip. Liz responds to it:

That seems to get the ball rolling, because when Taylor drops Out of the Woods as a single, this happens:

14 October 2014 - Taylor and Liz tweet about how much they miss each other:

Then, when Taylor walks the runaway with Karlie at the VSFS, this happens:

Taylor is with Karlie at the time, and obviously nothing romantic is happening on Liz’s end either, because...

20 December 2014 - Liz gets engaged to Bryan Brown and has dinner with friends:

16 February 2015 - Liz tweets that Taylor is badass

8 April 2016 - Liz makes this gay post on Facebook that I’d like to think is a response to Style, since the MV had come out a few months before:

And Liz seems to have found a group of gay friends...

Although, that could just be a typo.

15 July 2015 - Liz posts on Facebook that “Thanks to some really talented friends, I got to record something beautiful today. Can’t wait to share this one.” The picture she attaches definitely looks like Taylor:

Liz also tweets this:

We do NOT know where Taylor was that day. However, she performed in DC on the 1989 tour on the 14th and was papped in NYC on the 16th so it’s not impossible she was in Nashville working on something with Liz. Unfortunately, whatever they worked on has yet to surface (unless you subscribe to the theory that Liz is WB...)

3 August 2015 - Shawn Brooks releases a song called Matter of Time that was written sometime in 2014 by Liz.

Notable lyrics include:

She’s got me lovestruck, crazy Going out of my mind She’s got me lovestruck, crazy But sooner or later, she’s gonna be mine It’s just a matter of time

Don’t know what this means for Liz or TayLiz, since Liz has been with Bryan since early 2013 at the latest, but this is very gay and fun.

27 August 2015 - Thirst tweet:

31 August 2015 - Liz calls Taylor sexy in response to the Wildest Dreams MV:

15 October 2015 - Liz tweets about Better Than Revenge:

28 October 2015 -  Liz quote tweets Taylor about OOTW acoustic:

11 November 2015 - Liz responds to Caitlin’s tweet tagging Taylor about nostalgia:

9 December 2015 - Liz congratulates Taylor on her Grammy noms:

13 December 2015 - Taylor’s birthday. Liz wishes her HBD:

29 January 2016 - Liz says her favorite song from 1989 is This Love:

15 February 2016 - Liz and Taylor both attend UMG’s Grammys afterparty at the Ace Hotel Theater :

26 February 2016 - Liz posts a TBT to Charleston:

16 April 2016 - Liz and Taylor both attend Coachella:

6 May 2016 - Liz tweets about This Love:

10 May 2016 - Liz possibly writes STFU and Hold Me (likely about Bryan, since he’s out on tour with the woman he’s going to leave Liz for, signaling to me that their relationship is on the fritz):

4 August 2016 - Liz posts a throwback to the Vogue photoshoot at the Bowery.

3 September 2016 - Liz and Bryan’s last interaction on Twitter:

(Bryan had been on tour with Jillian -- who he’d later marry -- and tweeting at her all summer, much more than he’d been tweeting with Liz). It’s important to note the way their relationship ended for when we start studying who Liz’s songs are about.

26 November 2016 - Liz tweets about Clean, possibly signaling her and Bryan have broken up by this point:

13 December 2016 - Liz wishes Taylor happy birthday with a post about Charleston (captions vary based on site). This also signals to me that her and Bryan are over, since she’s reminiscing on Taylor picking her up off the ground after her breakup with Jason:

11 July 2017 - Liz tells a fan that You Are In Love and All Too Well are her favorite songs from 1989 and Red (guess her favorite song is no longer This Love…):

11 August 2017 - Liz releases STFU and Hold Me:

This MV has a LOT of parallels to the IKYWT video. The lyrics talk about “staring with a bang” (”took off faster than a green light go”?), and reckless abandon (”this path is reckless”). MV parallels are as follows (thank you @mercuryonparklane​ for all the help finding this):

(notice the key necklace?)

So, either Liz is lowkey ripping off Taylor’s work or she’s trying to signal that she was the muse for IKYWT. However, considering Liz is deliberately trying to keep her image separate from Taylor, it doesn’t make any sense that she would try and rip her off. Of course, it could just be a big coincidence...

30 September 2017 - In an interview with The Young Folks, Liz says that STFU and Hold Me is about “getting to that point in a relationship where you’re sick of going around and around talking about the same issue with your partner and it’s time to wave the white flag,” Huett says. “We’ve all been there.”

Of the lyrics “I’m coming from a line of problems / I was born and I became a product” Liz says “I’m not exactly the most polished person. I’d rather be real than perfect and sometimes that means I say things that make people uncomfortable or act out in relationships and test limits, etc… I’m an honest mess but I believe I can and should be loved in light of that. :)”

I still think this song was written about the end of her relationship with Bryan, but it’s still interesting to see how Liz describes herself in relationships.

27 October 2017 - Liz releases H8U

This is another song that I think was written about Bryan. The lyrics reference taking another woman to a Tom Petty concert (Liz LOVES Tom Petty) and generally moving on quickly with another woman, which seems apt for the Bryan/Jillian situation going on.

HOWEVER, the lyrics also reference “our first date two years ago,” which doesn’t make any sense, since Liz and Bryan didn’t break up until 2016 and were together since early 2013. So it could maybe be lyrically about Taylor.

I do think the MV makes a deliberate Taylor reference, though, with the interrupting the wedding scene. Taylor famously had Liz dress as the Bridezilla on the Speak Now album art:

And, at the end of the H8U MV, Liz DOES kiss the blonde bride on the mouth after interrupting her wedding... which is... INTERESTING (especially since Liz is dressed in full RED the whole MV):

I don’t think it’s a stretch to presume Liz could’ve reversed their roles here. IDK.

9 November 2017 - Liz makes her “H8U, love these” playlist on Spotify, which features All Too Well.

1 November 2017 - Liz obsesses over Reputation:

15 November 2017 - Taylor posts an IG story with photos of her Liz and Caitlin in Australia in the background:

13 December 2017 - Liz wishes Taylor happy birthday:

20 December 2017 - In a now deleted tweet Liz obsesses over New Year’s Day

6 April 2018 - Liz releases Don’t LV U Anymore. Here are some interesting lyrics:

I don't steal your chapstick anymore / Don't wake up to your kiss anymore / And I don't have a washer and dryer full of guitar picks anymore / 'Cause you don't come over to my place anymore / Don't flirt with my roommate anymore / And I don't run to your friends / To get them on my side when we fight anymore / And I never say it / I keep it inside / But maybe I'm wasted / Or maybe it's time to get this off my chest, babe / ... / I don't love you anymore / But I don't love you any less / I don't play you my songs anymore / To see if they're good anymore / You don't tell me your secrets / 'Cause you don't know if I keep them to myself anymore / I don't go to church anymore / Don't know what to believe anymore / And I don't remember the beat of your heart / The smell of your car anymore / ... / Two years and counting / Still got all this weight on my chest / Two years and counting / And I can't remember what I can't forget

Based on the “two years and counting” line, as well as the line about a washer and dryer of guitar picks, I’m inclined to believe this is another song about Bryan. 

However, it is a really similar sentiment to that Civil Wars song Liz posted back when her and Taylor first ended things, and the line about running to get friends on a side when fighting is very similar to the “you go talk to your friends, talk to my friends talk to me” in WANEGBT and the image in Battle/Let’s Go of all their friends standing around watching them fight. Could go either way.

9 April 2018 - Liz reposts a Facebook post announcing Dammit that implies it was written a while ago. But we already knew that.

19 May 2018 - Reputation in Pasadena. Liz attends. Surprise Song: All Too Well. Camila Cabello is the opening act.  

27 May 2018 - Liz gives an interview at Bottlerock festival where she says that Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus is a song she used to get over someone (likely Bryan). She also says Havana was the song she last had stuck in her head -- probably because Camila performed it at Taylor’s show the previous week.

14 March 2019 - Liz makes a happy birthday post for Antoni (who’s dating her friend Trace):

27 April 2019 - Bryan and Jillian get married:

3 May 2019 - Liz releases Nothing Personal:

This feels like DIRECT BRYAN SHADE, since she released it right after his wedding. However, you definitely could also read it as being about being let go from The Agency.

Early May 2019 - Taylor shoots YNTCD. Her and Antoni bond over their love of The National (keep in mind Taylor would end up asking a member of the National to work on exile with her):

17 June 2019 - Liz likes Taylor’s post announcing YNTCD is out:

26 June 2019 - Liz posts on IG a video of unreleased song “One of These Days” with the caption “i’m emo” Lyrics:

One of these days I’ll rise above the blue / One of these days when I get sober too / I’ll be flying high you know / Gonna say I told you so / One of these days I’ll rise above the blue / The stars will align / My heart will come back to life / I won’t have to cry anymore / Someday soon, when I / When I get over you / One of these nights I’m gonna get some sleep / One of these nights you won’t be in my dreams / I will lay this love to rest / I will miss you in this bed / One of these nights I’m gonna get some sleep / The stars will align / My heart will come back to life / I won't have to cry anymore / Someday soon, someday / When I get over you

More evidence that Liz does, indeed, struggle with the things that Reddit post suggested.

14 August 2019 - Liz posts on IG a video of an unreleased song called “I Wanted It to Be You” with the caption “I really did” and a red rose emoji. Lyrics:

I’ll find someone else to take your place / In no time at all I’ll be okay / So you don’t have to say it babe / We don’t have to cry / ‘Cause I know you got shit to do / And baby so do I / I’ll find someone else to take your place, hey / I wanted it to be you I’m closing down the bar with / I wanted it to be you I’m fighting in the car with / Who I could push away / Come back and beg to stay / Ooh, I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it / I wanted it to be you

Likely for Bryan BUT maybe a red rose grew up out of frozen ground with no one around to tweet it (lol I’m joking the lakes is very likely not about Liz).

22 August 2019 - Taylor releases the Lover MV, featuring the “breakable heaven” board game:

In the bottom left corner, you can spot a blue 0527. May 27th is Liz’s birthday. What does this mean? I don’t know. I absolutely do not know, but whatever it is is driving me INSANE.

28 August 2019 - Liz posts on Twitter a screenshot of her listening to Cornelia Street:

16 October 2019 - Liz comments on a fan’s video of Taylor performing at the NPR Tiny Desk concert saying “she cute”:

19 November 2019 - Liz says on IG that her favorite songs from Lover are The Archer and Cornelia Street:

22 November 2019 - Liz releases That’s What You Get. This is the one late-stage Liz song that I FULLY BELIEVE is about TayLiz due to a few very specific lyric parallels:

“That’s what you get when you recklessly fall in love” >> “This path is reckless” from Treacherous

“That’s what you get for keeping your armor up” >> “You come around and the armor falls” from State of Grace >> “I would put my armor down if you said you’d rather love than fight” from Story of Us.

“And all your friends are lining up to hate me” >> “You go talk to your friends talk to my friends talk to me” from WANEGBT >> “First shot’s fired everybody’s gathered around” from Battle >> “I can't run to your friends anymore / To get them on my side when we fight anymore” from Don’t LV U Anymore.

It also, just from an outside perspective, doesn’t make any sense for Liz to write a breakup song about Bryan blaming herself when it seems very clear to me that they broke up because Bryan wanted to be with Jillian instead. That’s not her fault. So either this is about another breakup (I’d guess Taylor, based on the lyric parallels), or she’s just very very self-loathing and won’t let herself think it’s Bryan’s fault (which both H8U and Nothing Personal don’t suggest to me).

25 November 2016 - Liz posts a video on her IG story about Taylor at the VMAs.

6 December 2019 - Liz talks about That’s What You get with Earmilk and gives an interesting quote: 

Huett explains, “This song is about facing myself after a brutal season of running from it... I made a self-destructive choice that hurt someone I really value. The angle of the chorus is really sort of a letter to me after that first long look in the mirror. It SUCKED. However, in owning my shit (and sharing this song) my hope is that listeners might apply the sad lesson without having to learn the hard way, or, if they’ve ever found themselves in the regretful position I was once in, I hope this song can at least make them feel less alone."

This is SO DIFFERENT fro mhow her relationship with Bryan ended, but matches up so well with Liz getting help and owning her shit after spiraling in 2012.

24 July 2020 - Folklore drops. Two of the songs are written by the mysterious William Bowery. One of those songs is Betty -- a popular nickname for Elizabeth. Liz tweets at Taylor about the 1 because all of Taylor’s exes wanna think that song is about them.

So, IN CONCLUSION: Liz got help and worked through her shit and they’re on good terms now. They were possibly working on something together in 2015, although that never saw the light of day as far as we know. Liz seems to maybe be referencing Taylor in her music and MVs, but there’s no way to know for sure. Better Than Revenge on the Speak Now Tour was an iconic moment of sapphic energy, and maybe, just maybe, when Taylor re-records her masters, Liz will sing backup for her again.

Thanks for reading!

[cyberp-ssy2077]

Cyberparents 2077: A Day in the Life // Part Two: Afternoon (Johnny Silverhand x Female!V)

Part One

Link to AO3!

A/N: Part two is finally here! Google "shopping cart with car" to see tyhe kind of shopping cart V is using. It's a liiiiittle angsty, so I hope I did okay!

“We should have tacos,” Sam opined with great seriousness from her seat in the plastic car that took up the front of the shopping cart.

“Sure, but what kind though? Beef, fish…?” V ventured, scanning the aisles. She was just there to pick up a couple essentials, but her daughter made an extremely compelling suggestion.

“Bleh, no fish!” Sam giggled, tugging on her little steering wheel. “Can we have chicken?”

“Now, that’s an idea,” V smiled, turning the cart towards the back of the store.

As they made their way, collecting items on their list, they inevitably drew attention. To be fair, V was eye-catching enough on her own; with her edgy haircut, riotous hair color, dark lipstick, extensive tattoos, and alluring figure, she was unapologetically alternative and rocking it. When you pair that aesthetic with a child of all things, it’s so seemingly incongruous that it seems nigh-on unnatural, to some.

Of course, when you add Johnny to the mix and all three went out together, it didn’t get any better. Sure, they got fewer comments (likely because Johnny looked like he was ready to cut a bitch at any moment), but the looks they got were still penetrating in their intensity.

V didn’t mind terribly what other people thought, especially the closed-minded people who took issue with how she presented herself. It was beneath her attention. She knew that Johnny definitely didn’t give two shits. What she struggled with, though, was the agony of Sam having to learn how to rise above others’ narrow views and how to react to them. V cast her memory back as they walked through the store, and remembered the first day that there was a real tipping point in Sam’s understanding of the situations they ended up in when they were out as a family.

V and Johnny had been waiting outside Sam’s school, waiting for the bell to ring and for their little girl to run out to them, excited and beaming, as she did every day. They were chatting and joking amongst themselves, Johnny having tucked V into his side with an arm around her waist. As time crept by, it became apparent that the school security guard was shuffling closer in their direction as he stood idly by the school gate that separated the classrooms from the parking lot.

Anyone who knew them knew that V and Johnny were not the type to be intimidated. So, they kept to themselves and ignored the encroaching party, until he was mere feet from them and began clearing his throat noisily. Johnny, in true take-no-shit fashion, raised his chin and looked the man directly in the eye.

“There a problem?”

“I could ask you folks the same thing,” the security guard replied. “There are kids getting out of school soon, so I need you to stop loitering so that parents can pick up their kids.”

Johnny pulled down his aviators and fixed the security guard with a piercing look. “Yeah, and one of those kids is my kid. Once she gets out, we’ll go.”

The guard looked taken aback at this, mentally weighing his options, and he slumped back over to the gate and pulled out his walkie-talkie, glowering at them as he brought the walkie up to his mouth.

“If he causes a fuckin’ scene…” Johnny trailed off. The sharp trilling of the bell rang out not a moment later, and soon enough kids of all ages began pouring out of the gates. V and Johnny scanned the pre-school area, and after a few moments Sam walked out.

The scene played out in slow motion; Sam’s class was led out by her teacher, and the little girl began making her way over to her parents. V glanced back at the security guard. He was no longer sulking at his post, rather walking towards Sam and calling her over once it became apparent where she was headed.

“Are you kidding me?” V asked angrily, pulling away from Johnny and marching over to where her daughter stood with the security guard. As she got closer, she started to hear what he was saying.

“...wait with me until your parents show up, okay? Just want to make sure you’re safe and nothing bad happens to you.”

Johnny had followed her as soon as he connected the dots himself, and he was fuming. “If you don’t get away from my daughter, something bad’s gonna happen to you, pal.”

Hearing her dad’s voice, Sam turned to face him and smiled. She ran over to cling against his leg and he picked her up and held her on his hip; instinctually, he wanted to be closer to her and he knew that if he had her in his hands, there was less chance that this tool would end up with a mouthful of Johnny’s chrome prosthetic in his mouth. For her part, once Sam had digested the expression on Johnny’s face and the tone of his voice, she appeared to be very confused.

Before anything serious happened, Sam’s teacher stepped in and apologized profusely to V and Johnny for the security guard’s over-zealousness. On the way home, Johnny and V had to explain to Sam why someone might assume that she doesn’t belong with them, and it broke V’s heart to see Sam’s eyes so sad. Later that night, Johnny and V sat together, both emotionally drained and contemplative over the events of the day… That wasn’t the first time something like that had happened, and it wouldn’t be the last, but it was the first time that Sam had noticed and asked about it. They were in for a long road ahead of them.

Today in the grocery store, everything seemed to be going well enough until it was time to check out. As V and Sam went through the line, Sam decided to bring up one of her favorite topics of conversation: dyeing her hair. She wanted badly to have “pretty hair” like her mom, but so far Johnny and V had held off on doing that for her due to the dark color of her locks; in order to achieve any notable change, her raven-black hair would have to be bleached. Despite their own views on self-expression and rebellion, both Johnny and V were holding off a bit when it comes to going that far with their child. In the meantime, they had the secret agreement that they would get her some hair chalk for her next birthday so that she could still join in the fun.

“I wish my hair had pretty colors,” Sam sulked, looking up at her mom with big eyes. “Me and Estrella both want pretty colors.”

Estrella was Jackie and Misty’s little girl, and Sam’s partner in crime. The two of them were thick as thieves and twice as mischievous, and of course they were universally adored by their parents and their parents’ friends. They went to the same school, despite being separated into different classes, and they both took martial arts classes together.

“What are you talking about? Your hair is a pretty color,” V said, tickling Sam’s sides as she climbed out of the cart. She noticed that the woman behind them in line was giving them a curious look, but it wasn’t outright hostile yet so V put it out of her mind. She began checking out, going through the motions of swiping her card and loading bags back into the cart.

“I want my hair to be purple!” Sam declared, smiling big. “I want it to be purple all over, like in my room!” Purple was Sam’s current color obsession, so it was not news to V that it was also the choice for her future hair color.

“That sounds pretty cool, I bet you’ll look awesome,” V replied, brimming with affection.

An intrusive voice piped up from behind them.

“You look rather young, so I’ll give you this advice: parents shouldn’t encourage such things. You never know what she’ll be asking for next.”

V pasted on her fakest smile. “Thanks, but I didn’t ask for your advice.” Ready to leave, V quickly sat Sam in the traditional shopping cart seat, facing her, and looked to make her escape. Before she got too far, Sam’s little voice piped up.

“I think you would look very nice with pink hair, ma’am,” Sam chirped, grinning toothily. The woman blustered, clearly not having a response. V couldn’t help herself, laughing out loud as they left the store. She’d have to tell Johnny about that one later, he’d get a kick out of it.

The drive to drop Sam off was rather uneventful, and Sam was bouncing in her seat by the time V put the car in park. As soon as she was let out of the car, she shot off like a rocket to the front door, with V trailing behind. By the time V got up to the porch, her perceptive (or precognitive?) friend had already let Sam in with a smile and was offering a greeting to V.

“How’s it going? You’re glowing, having a good day?” Misty asked dreamily, examining V as she handed over Sam’s dojo/overnight bag.

“Yeah, something like that,” V laughed. “We’ve had a good day so far. How are you doing?”

Misty shrugged. “Can’t complain. Star’s been bouncing off the walls all day, you’d think she didn’t just see Sam yesterday,” she said, a light smile playing on her lips.

“All right, well mine and Johnny’s cells should be on if anything comes up. I’ve got groceries in the car so I’ve gotta run, but see you tonight!”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Misty replied, glancing over her friend once more with a knowing smile. “You gonna tell him tonight?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” V replied, a massive grin betraying her words. As she hopped in the car and started to drive home, she started to feel a tingling excitement grow within her. Now, just to get through the rest of the afternoon and the evening would come soon enough.

Part Three

[calypsoff]

Fifty Five.

Landing in Vegas, this is my first time here and I am super excited but I will be only here for a day which sucks but I rather be there for Robyn on her birthday, I am going to be at the Agenda show for one day here which will set the tone for the rest of the days here, which I am leaving that in the hands of TJ and Barry but I do have a team, a team I am meeting today here they are flying out so I will be meeting them at my hotel, I am here for one day so I booked myself into the Caesars Palace because why not, it’s one night to just have a little fun. Not too much fun because of course I am here for business reasons but I am having to bring a whole suitcase because I am leaving for London after this, Robyn doesn’t know at all she keeps talking about is be good in Vegas, I won’t even get to have any fun here “we out here bro” looking up from the escalator seeing TJ with the phone in my face “we out here in Vegas, come and check me out at the Agenda show” TJ cackled “check him out, not the clothing line” I would push him if he was close enough, he is dumb. Maybe I worded that wrong, I chuckled shaking my head. Stepping off of the escalator “wild, I can’t believe we are really in Vegas. Who would have thought, come country niggas are out here” licking my lips smiling wide, I am so happy to be here. Everything to me is a new experience, like being here is wild because I didn’t think I would ever come here “yo boy Drake is here actually, I forgot to mention that” I will have to text him then, we can link up “take a picture of me under this, look after my case. It has things in there” I pushed it to Barry, fixing my shades as I walked backwards just standing under thr Vegas sign “ready?” TJ asked, nodding my head as I crossed my arms across my chest smirking “I know he got that light skinned squinting under those shades, looking good” TJ said laughing at me, walking back over to them.

I take too many pictures, I just seen my story and looking through it is making me laugh. Do I love myself; I mean it’s always nice to take a good selfie either way. I got my own hotel room, I was not going to share with them because they will be up to some shit and I can’t deal with that, if they want to fuck bitches they can. They are single but I do not want to be involved, looking out of my hotel window at the views. Life is just amazing for me; I can’t believe how blessed I am right now to be here in this hotel room. I am married to the love of my life also, I am happy. Hearing the skype call go off; I was waiting for that. Robyn told me to wait as she called me, rushing back to my laptop and pressing connect. Sitting down on the chair as it connected “you’re in bed?” Robyn is wrapped up in her bed covers “I am tired Chris, also the time difference. Seeing as you are enjoying yourself in Vegas I won’t take up much of your time, just that any minute now Vogue is releasing the cover photo so we need to post pictures, we can now announce that we are married. Which for me works out perfect because now you’re in Vegas bitches will know you’re married” I laughed licking my lips “whatever happens stays in Vegas babe, you know that saying” Robyn pushed the bed cover back “eh? Say that again I will fly out there just to beat your ass and come back” she is so dramatic “I am joking ma’am. I am going to meet my new team too, there is some pretty fine men in it” I snorted laughing “whatever, you are very annoying” stretching my body out “so, what are you doing for your birthday, going out or anything. So you’re like in the future, I need to work out how to be the first to say it to you, that is a lot for my tiny brain” that is hard “well you have a few hours to work it out stupid, remember it’s tonight. It’s like ten here, and it’s two there so work from there” I am going to be so jet lagged, my phone started to ring “so two hours? Just say that then, hard headed ass, why is my booty call calling me now” grabbing my phone “nigga!” Robyn spat, answer my phone to Cena, he was a founder of a different clothing line and that made a big bang so I am glad he can be on my team “what’s good?” I answered, “we are waiting for you downstairs all of us” least they are here “I will be there in like ten, see you soon” disconnecting the call “who is that?” Robyn makes me laugh.

Placing my phone down on the table “he is the founder of Pink and Dolphin which he sold on, it made a lot of money with it so I got him on it, he is going to help me push my clothing line in ways I may be not able too, he has his business partner Neima she is with him, and I have a little social media team, like three ladies that are going to run the Instagram page and deal with influx of service related issues, but that is a start. Happy?” Robyn shrugged “I suppose, ok. I am super proud of you, you have been so productive Chris, more then I assumed. Like I thought you would have done what I asked but you did above and beyond, and I am so proud of you for that” I cooed out “so you are proud of me, I just wanted to ask. I really hope you’re not upset that I can’t come, I hope you don’t think I am picking this clothing line over you” I just want to know Robyn isn’t upset with me “I am not, I am here and you’re ok with me being here for over the time limit I set. And you’re doing good things, I am not upset. We will celebrate many more birthdays together and you will make it up to me right?” nodding my head “I will” Robyn’ phone pinged “ok they posted it, oh my god Chris. This is crazy. Be super careful out there now, like really please take care of yourself. There will super jealous people out there so please. Ok, so we can post something, what are you posting. I have mine set up” of course she has “you cheated, weren’t they supposed to drop this cover early and it go one sale on your birthday? grabbing my phone “hmmm, yeah something went wrong and they changed it but it’s still being released tomorrow. But what are you posting, tell me” opening my photos, I think I will post the pictures I took of Robyn in her dress, she looked amazing “look then” looking up at my laptop “wait, I ain’t seen that picture. What?” moving closer to my laptop “this you looking at me, Dennis said he took this picture when you was watching me talk to Bravo” letting out an oh “I look so in love, who is that guy” Robyn moved her phone away “shut up, so show me what you posting” I grinned looking down at my phone, I have a lot of photos in my phone of things.

Robyn has been waiting for me to decide, but I found it easy I just needed to write my caption out “ladies first though, you read what you put” looking up from my phone “fine, I put I married my best friend how I wanted, in my home with my loved ones. He is the light of my life and I have never been so happy in my life, we wanted to do this our way and we did. Get you a man that loves you more then you love him is what Dolly told me, and I have. You can’t tell me this ain’t a nigga in love” I busted out laughing “of course you put that, nah that is cute, so I put. We are twins here because I also put I married my best friend, my twin. When I say twin I mean she is my twin flame, the best day of my life is when I saw you in your dress, I look back on this picture constantly and just smile, it’s surreal that I am in this position with you. From high school to now, I can’t wait to put a baby in you” Robyn chuckled “you already did that, you sly with that. Post it then, together” pressing send on the post “man, the world is about to find out now” I grinned “they are, I am so happy that we are married Chris. It has really made my life, don’t you think” nodding my head “it has, but I really need to go baby. I will speak to you later ok?” Robyn rolled her eyes “sure, love you poppa” blowing Robyn a kiss “I love you too twin” I am sure those people will be sick of waiting for me, I have been keeping them waiting.

TJ and Barry are both at the Agenda show, I told them I need to be here to greet the team. I mean we are late, we arrived late anyways but I had some people set up the plot which they did “Chris” this really tanned man came over to me “Cena” shaking his hand “pleasure to meet you finally” nodding my head smiling “likewise, you must be Neima” hugging her “I am nice to meet you finally Chris” she said, moving back from the hug saying “you must be Deja” I pointed, I am sure she is “yes it is, we skyped” I chuckled, shaking her hand “where is the rest?” I am sure there is a few missing “at the show, they the ones watching over everything, so I said I would come here” nodding my head “cool, well come let’s go and talk and eat a little something” I gestured, I have my joint account card with me of course. I can’t be caught out lacking in Vegas now, I have big people around. Cena and Neima are both big people to be coming onto my project “your first time here?” Cena asked as he stopped walking to walk at the side of me “yes it is my first time, I have spent my life just in VA, now I have moved to California to concentrate on the business” walking into the restaurant in Caesars Palace “when you contacted me, I saw your clothing line and I believed in your dreams. I think you are there, but you just need guidance, and we are happy to do that, take your business onto new levels” this is why I wanted this guy on my side.

Replying back to Drake’ text he is going to be a Drai’s club tonight and has invited me to come along, and of course I accepted “sorry about that” placing my phone on the table “so my vision for this company would be going forward is start to go globally, I want to be global. I have started to have celebrities wear my things to give it that kick which is happening, but I feel like once I get a better team and we stick to the task at hand we can do it. I will go back to designing what I need and then have the team work on what they need to do, that means you three” I smiled “so where does Barry and TJ come in this, they are involved. If we are taking their roles in a way what are they going to do?” Neima asked “good question” I laughed “that is something I will discuss with them but for now they will be point of contact when I am away, but I will always be there of course” I mean Cena and Neima are better at this, they have the knowledge there “we need to get a website running, this has all been done by taking order via Instagram right?” nodding my head “ok, so website next. Twitter page, photoshoots. I think we know where we need to go next, you had an accident where this put you back right?” nodding my head “there was actual spike in your sales actually, not sure if that was because people started to take interest, but website is a big thing to do. We need to do” clasping my hands together “we did have a website but it got taken down for some reason and we ended up doing it via Instagram, I wasn’t around then though” I added “sorry I have been so quiet, erm. You are married to Rihanna? I just saw it like half hour ago” I chuckled, that is funny because Deja has been so quiet “is that what you was thinking about? Uh yeah, we got married on New Year, I guess you seen the pictures huh. Yeah, the secret is out” Deja clapped her hands cooing out “wow, my girl looked so good, you both did. Congratulations, this is so surreal. It really is” she looks so hype “thank you” that is sweet of her, I guess I am going to get that now.

I let the team go ahead of me because it’s coming up to Robyn’ birthday, I am not sure if she will be asleep because she was in bed, knowing her ass she is probably breathing heavy and is asleep right now. So I decided to post a picture of Robyn from High School days, she looks so goofy, but this is a picture my mother took of her, I don’t know how she even had this but she did and it’s cute. I am glad I am not in the picture anyways, but my mother sent me it in shock saying I found this picture, typing out a caption “Where you are right now it’s your birthday, well in less then a minute it will be. Wishing you the best birthday twin, I can’t wait to see you when you come back, and we turn up. I want ya’ll to show my wife love, it’s Rihanna day today. Happy Birthday Queen! And I know you will hate this picture, you were forced to have your picture taken by my mother lol @badgalriri’ pressing send on the post and then tapping Robyn’ name to call her, it’s her birthday so we shall see. I am stood in the corner like a creep for this, they are waiting for me in the car, I did say I will be one minute. The phone call is just ringing out, she is asleep because she would have picked up, in my heart I don’t think Robyn cares for her birthday, she is not happy about it because of the situation and her being in London still, voicemail of course but I will leave her a little something “I just called to say, I love you” I chuckled “mouth breather, how you sleep on your day but Happy Birthday baby, I love you so much. I know you listen to your body and if you want to sleep, you do that. Man, I miss you so much but call me when you do wake up, happy birthday” blowing a kiss down the phone and then disconnecting the call.

I finally made it to the Agenda show, I have been looking at other people’ plot. There is some good shit here “how has it been?” dapping TJ “easy bro, things are going easy right now. Are these the new peeps?” stepping to the side “this is Cena and Neima, also Deja. She is part of the social team, these must be the other two ladies” these are some pretty ass girls, not even going to lie “you are Jada?” I hope I got it right “I am, we finally meet” I was going to shake her hand but she hugged me “likewise, just call me boss” moving back from the hug “and you are Sheree, beautiful name ma” shaking her hand “I have really a beautiful ass team, I am blessed. Including you Cena” I chuckled, turning around “ain’t you Rihanna husband?” this woman came out of nowhere, I wasn’t even ready “uh what?” I laughed nervously “I swear I seen you on Rihanna page, you her husband?” rubbing my chin laughing “I am, yes. You caught me out” she gasped “wow, now I didn’t think I would be bumping into Rihanna husband. You own this thing don’t you” she walked inside looking around “I do, everything you see here is what I designed” walking over to her slowly “oh wow, can I take a picture with you. This is my daughters and son, can we have a picture” this is weird “erm yeah for sure, I mean I ain’t famous you know that right?” She waved me off “you better remember me that I was the first person to ask, you are famous now. Come here boy” she really doesn’t care, how the hell do you take pictures with random people, do you hug them or what “erm TJ, take the picture” I said to him” shuffling over to the mom “don’t be scared now, this is Rihanna husband” placing my arm around her “what am I again?” I asked “Rihanna husband” I laughed out; her country accent too just be killing me when she says it.

I entered Drai’s club and it just hit me, it hit me so hard that I didn’t ask Robyn but she is asleep well her ass hasn’t woke up or replied to anything, maybe if I just text a very nice text saying Drake text me to go over for some drinks “shit” I said to myself “my nigga! My fucking nigga. Aye, move back, move all the way back. Come here” Drake spat, it’s too late I am in the VIP section “my brother” dapping him and then hugging him “ah man, I am so fucking happy for you both. I seen the cover and Chris, you look like you modelling, I said we need you on some OVO clothing pieces modelling” I laughed moving back from the hug “thank you, it was a special night and you made it even better, it’s good seeing you though” Drake grabbed the Grey Goose bottle “get some more bottles, we celebrating my boy, he got married to one of the baddest girls in the game, bring more bottle. Take a seat” I laughed sitting down in the VIP section, let me quickly text Robyn something that doesn’t seem like I went but I did want her to say yes, it needs to be worded right.

From: Chris

To: Robyn

Birthday girl, still asleep? I think you are, so I am in a little situation, Drake invited me to Drai’s club for a few drinks and it was last minute, and I know you’re asleep so I couldn’t ask but I am here, call me when you can xx

Pressing send on the message, she cannot be angry with me because she is asleep. What else can I do; I can’t just wait until Robyn has the moment to say yes. It’s making me wonder now, is she still asleep at this time. I mean it’s eleven here, well nearly eleven and there it’s about seven I think so she’s slept very well if so, my night has just started and my flight is at eight in the morning, I will make it, this will be fine.

[nerdygaymormon]

I'm casually scrolling through Latter Gay Stories and there I am! That was a nice surprise

They took the story I shared with Let’s Love Better, added some of my pictures from Facebook, and shared on their page. 

While I’m happy about this, it is emblematic of how once we share something online, it is out of our control. I just wish they’d let me know they were planning to put it up last week. I’ve had the same thing happen to me by LDS-owned websites where they put something of mine on LDSLiving and other sites without giving me any warning.

————————————————————

Hi, I’m David

Looking back, the signs of my orientation were there from the time I was a little boy. For example, I stared at the pictures on the packages of underwear at the store, or there would be boys who I really, really wanted to be friends with, things like that. It wasn’t until puberty when I would have erotic dreams that I figured out that I am sexually and romantically turned on by guys. I denied it for a while, thought I must be defective, perhaps it can change. By age 14 or 15 is when, with great reluctance, I accepted that this is a part of me.

At church it was taught that people are like this because they lack faith, so I tried to be the most faithful person, swatting away any questions or doubts, trying to be the best in class and activities. And every little, minor mistake was crushing because it was making me not good enough for God to fix. That was a stressful way to approach life.

I had a great deal of fear to come out. I continued to try to please God. I served a 2-year mission. I went to the Church schools. While in college is when I really came to terms with this is never changing.

I remained closeted for a long time, much longer than I wanted to. The longer I was in the closet, the harder it seemed to come out because it meant admitting that so much of my life, at least as I presented it, was a lie. Staying in the closet kept my world intact. Much of my family’s life revolves around church. Being a member of this church gives me a social network, a map of life goals, and an identity. Coming out meant I could lose all of it and I had no idea what life would be without those things.

Squashing all my romantic and sexual feelings also shuts down most other feelings. I spent my 20’s & 30’s feeling numb, like I was watching life but not a part of it. I finally reached the point where I was thought, “What’s the point of having a life if I wasn’t going to live?” As I was approaching my 40th birthday, I decided it’s time for a change. It was hard to share the secret I had spent my life guarding, and for a while I was very cautious and only came out one person at a time, no big announcement.

There are many things about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I really like, things that resonate with me. I like that our God isn’t silent, that God answers prayers and is wants to reveal new things to us. That as individuals and as a church, we learn & progress, line upon line, always becoming better. I love the idea that the ultimate goal is for all people to be unified and linked to each other, that it matters how we treat each other because we need each other. Mormons are really good at building community and a sense of belonging. One thing that helps is the idea of all truth being circumscribed into one great whole, including scientific knowledge. Plus, this church taught me a language to understand spiritual things. I’ve learned a lot about being a better person, to serve and to be empathetic. It’s just that where church intersects with how I was made by our Creator, there is tension.

When I was 18 and the bishop spoke to me about going on a mission, I went home and prayed and asked if God could love me, love what I am. It’s really sad that a person can grow up in church and not even know that. I felt waves of love, warmth and goose bumps radiate across my body and a voice say “you are not broken.” That experience sustained me for many years.

Being gay complicates church for me. Questions that have simple answers for others are complex for me. There’s no way for me to complete the covenant path, I can’t achieve the goals that our religion says should be the purpose of my life.

In November 2015 I was serving as the Stake Young Men president when the Policy of Exclusion was leaked. I was so upset by it that I nearly walked away. Only an impression that God had a work for me to do if I was willing to stay kept me in the Church. In January 2016 my calling changed, and this is my 5th year being the stake executive secretary, which means I am in all the highest councils of my stake. This calling also means I get to meet all General Authorities who come here, I’ve interacted with 10 Seventies & apostles. I still get invited to participate in stake youth activities and have spoken to my stake’s youth about being LGBT. I had a blog post go viral and that led to hundreds of LGBTQ+ teens & twenty-somethings who contacted me to ask questions or who were hurting, and I’ve stayed up late into the night many a time trying to keep them safe. I’ve been invited to share my story on several pages and a few podcasts.

All of this is well beyond what I could have imagined in 2015 when I decided to stay. But this isn’t my work forever. I will again have to revisit the decision to stay or leave. Being in this church has caused serious mental health issues, including suicidal moments, that I’ve had to get help for. I want to love and be loved. I’m tired of going to church and then something is said which wounds, which even if the speaker wasn’t meaning to be unkind, those little surprises still sting. I want to be happy.

I have to figure out what a successful life looks like for me, what the purpose of my life is, how God wants me to partner with Him in the work He is doing in the world today.

I think back to how I felt when I prayed to know if God loves me and how that felt. I don’t think God views being gay as incompatible with the gospel. I’m certain the author of diversity has accounted for it in His Plan. I just wish this church could see it that way.

[sincerelyreidburke]

ooh also 4 for Bri and Reid because I love them

Friends! Romans! Countrymen! ARE YOU READY for some good shit?!?! I say this because this is my very first time writing Reid/Bri! I mean, they’ve been in the background a few times in drama club stuff, but I’ve never actually gotten to focus on them. Toby enables me, because xe loves me.

“Who’s Bri?” Reid’s girlfriend!

In today’s episode of prompts, you will get a glimpse into Reid’s post-graduation life! If you want to read more about what’s in store for him after Kiersey, you can check out this post. And even this one, too, if you’d like.

Here, you’ll see a Reid two years removed from graduation and a little down on his luck. You also finally get to see inside his brain. *Slaps hood of Reid Burke* This bad boy can fit so much mental illness in him.

From this list of sappy prompts, which I am still accepting and filling as we speak!

4. “Shut up and kiss me.”

two years after (reid's) graduation | may

 Reid considers himself spectacularly efficient when it comes to fucking things up.

He knows this. Has always known it. He figures it’s a good thing to be self-aware, at least. He’s probably one of the more self-aware human beings to ever have a conscience, come to think of it, given the amount of time he spends policing his own every action. But still. There has to be some benefit in being so well aware of your own flaws that you can constantly predict your fuck-ups before they even happen. It’s like damage control when the damage hasn’t even set in.

Anyway. Reid knows he’s good at fucking up. But if there’s one thing he would really prefer not to fuck up, it’s Bri’s birthday.

Easier said than done.

When midnight strikes on the day she’s turning 24, he’s not even home, which is the first reason he feels guilty and useless. He’s at work, apron around his waist, tie done up too tight, sneaking glances at the clock across the room in between customers and refills. He wishes he had his phone on him, as the minute hand lines up with the second hand at the 12. He could at least text her. He could make up for the fact that he’s not there in person, to ring in the first moments of the day. But his phone is in the back, in his locker, because this is the best-paying place he works at, and he doesn’t want to risk his employment by getting caught with a phone by his manager. Or worse, a nosy customer, who will subsequently rat him out to his manager, and, well— yeah. Not to mention the fact that it’s usually so fast-paced in the bar that there’s no time to check your phone anyway.

The point is. He wishes he could text Bri. But he can’t. It’s probably for the best. She’s probably not even awake. It would actually be bad if she were awake. A healthy sleep schedule is something she deserves.

Actually, she deserves a lot. The entire world. A lot more than Reid has ever been able to give her, and there isn’t a day that goes by when his brain fails to remind him of that particular fuckup in his life thus far. But tonight, he shouldn’t think in huge terms. Tonight, he should just worry about her birthday.

Man, he wishes he were home in bed.

The strike of midnight, although it provides something to focus on, isn’t even the sign of his shift nearing an end, because the bar doesn’t close until 2:30, and the latter two and a half hours of work wind up passing by even more slowly than the beginning of his shift did. When he finally sees his last customer out, after last call, and he’s the only lonely, lingering person in the place— then, the end is in sight. He has closing chores ahead of him, but at least he doesn’t have to wait around to go home anymore.

It’s nothing that out of the ordinary, really, to be working this late. Between three jobs and sneaking in open mic nights between them any chance he can, he can’t remember the last time he had a night entirely off. Or a day, honestly, and tomorrow— or today, since it’s past midnight— isn’t any exception. He has the lunch shift at the street diner he works at, and the jury’s still out as to whether he’s going to bag his shift at the second bar he works at tomorrow night.

All of this is to say: he’s working a lot. Which is fine. Work means money, which means staying alive, especially with the New York cost of living he’s gotten used to since they moved here after graduation. It’s a necessary part of life. He just wishes life could stop, for one day, so he could do this right. So he could at least give her something, to make up for all the areas in life where he’s lacking. Where he’s an extremely underwhelming excuse for a future husband.

And, look— he did actually get her a present, so that’s not the issue here. It’s more the lack of time. It’s more the overwhelming sense that, despite her stability, despite the fact that she’s stuck with him for six years, he doesn’t deserve this patience, and that one day she might finally come to her senses and decide that she doesn’t feel like waiting around while he slums it in New York and tries to make it big, that she wants, like, a normal life, with a partner who makes a salary and a house or at least an apartment with more than one room and, like, basic predictability and success—

Ugh.

For now, for this very early morning, he won’t think about all of that, no matter how much it rings in his ears as he cleans up and closes the bar. For now, he just wants to make sure Bri has the most perfect morning possible. And to do that, he has a checklist.

Step one: finish work. He considers that done as he locks the front door of the bar, and steps out onto the street. It’s kind of breezy but not exactly cold out, since Bri’s birthday marks the last day of May, and summer is pretty much here. It’s not really busy outside on the street, but he’s not the only one out, either. Rule number one of New York City: you are literally never the only person out and about, no matter what time of day it is.

Step two: the bodega. It’s on his walk, open twenty-four hours, and he stops there so often at weird hours of the night after work shifts that he’s established a rapport with the cashier who works the red-eye shift. “Eyyyyyy,” he sings, as he swings through the door into the small, artificially lit space. “What’s up, Charlie? You working hard, or hardly working?”

Actually, it’s not so much a rapport. It’s more that he’s constantly the loudest customer who graces this place between the hours of midnight and four in the morning, and Charlie probably hates him, but still tolerates his presence. So.

He needs flour, half a dozen eggs, a tied-up bunch of yellow and white flowers, and rainbow sprinkles. He also slides three Red Bull onto Charlie’s till, and then grins across the counter to remark, “The necessities.”

Charlie grunts or maybe chuckles, and scans his stuff. “Right.”

Step three: get home and get to work.

It’s, like, six minutes on foot from work to the bodega, and then four more to the subway stop, and then the subway is a whole host of issues that land him back at the apartment building around 3:30 in the morning. Bri’s alarm goes off at 6:30 for work, and he figures he can intercept her for a proper birthday breakfast before she goes to the gallery. Given that he kills one of the Red Bull from the bodega while he’s in transit to get home, he is at least ninety percent confident that there’s no point in not pulling an all-nighter.

It’s fine. He’s not even tired. He has stuff to do, anyway.

The apartment is dark when he gets in, and he tries to make the smallest amount of noise, which, when you think about it, is kind of pointless because it’s only one room and any noise he makes could count as a disturbance, but— but— Bri isn’t a light enough sleeper to wake up at that kind of stuff. A fact he is grateful for. So he puts the bag of groceries down, gently, on the counter, and turns the light on over the sink while he loosens his tie. Or more like yanks it off. The uniform at that job is seriously not his style, but you take what you can get.

Across the room, where their bed is tucked up into the corner, Bri is asleep. Thank Christ. He would be concerned if she weren’t. While he gets out of his work clothes, he looks at her in bed— she’s peaceful, and looks comfortable, and he kind of wants for a second to just crawl into bed with her, but if he does that, he’ll never get anything done in time, and she’ll wake up to a normal old morning. With nothing special. On her birthday.

She doesn’t deserve that.

When he’s finished changing, it’s 3:41 Apple time. The morning is young. He sneaks a kiss to the top of her head and pulls the covers a little higher over her shoulders, then slides across the room in his socks, back to the kitchen side of the apartment.

Sure, he’s great at fuck-ups. But he’s not going to let this one be a bust.

*

It’s a quick three hours.

He blames executive dysfunction. Time passes too quickly when he’s on a crunch, literally every time. He starts with her card, which he bought a few days ago— writes it out, seals it into its envelope, and weighs it down with the corner of one of her vases, which he fills with water and puts the flowers in. It’s glass-blown, psychedelic colors; she made it in the glass studio junior year at Kiersey, and it followed them to New York.

With that done, he gets all his ingredients out for breakfast. He can’t start cooking at 4 in the morning, but he can get ready— a bowl out on the counter, their one good frying pan on the griddle, dry ingredients for pancakes measured out. He’s not the most versatile cook in the world, but he makes a mean Kraft Dinner, and this, too, he can do— birthday cake pancakes. With sprinkles. It’s Bri’s favorite breakfast.

He doesn’t know how it winds up being 6:30. He loses time, doing all of this and also nothing at all. He’s two and a half Red Bull deep, mixing up the actual pancake batter, when Bri’s alarm tone across the room pulls him out of his haze.

“Shit,” he hisses, and nearly knocks over his frying pan. It’s 6:30 already? The kitchen is a mess, and he’s been stuck in the distractible part of his brain for the better half of the past two hours, and now he looks like he’s made a huge mess, and—

The alarm stops going off, and he hears the mattress shift. He’s rinsing off the questionable spatula he’s been using to mix the batter in the sink when he hears her voice. “Babe?”

“Hey— hey, good morning.” He turns, and puts his back to the counter, like it’ll hide the actual disaster he’s created. “Happy birthday,” he adds. “Did you sleep okay?”

Bri is sitting up halfway in bed, and she doesn’t answer his question. “What are—” She yawns, and holds a hand to her mouth, which is really fucking cute, the way her eyes get all wrinkled up like this, and he just— loves her, and wishes he weren’t so useless, wishes he could give her the world. When she finishes her sentence, her voice is raspy. That’s cute, too. “What’re you doing over there?”

“I’m, uh.” And busted. He might as well own up to the mess. “Well, I realize now that it looks like a bomb went off in here, but don’t worry; I’ll fix it. I was just— well, breakfast. I’m making breakfast. But it’s not ready yet. It will be. Promise.” He lets all his breath out at once, then tries a grin. “But did you? Sleep okay?”

Again, she doesn’t answer the question. Instead, she swings her legs off the side of the bed, and gets up to walk across the room. He meets her halfway, as she’s combing back her hair, a blonde, wavy, bedhead-y and beautiful mess. She’s in pajama shorts and a tank top, and he may be sleep-deprived and totally useless, but he is the luckiest guy on this planet. “How long’ve you been up?” she asks.

He rests his hands, gently, on her waist, and looks down to meet her eyes, which are hazy with sleep but always so fucking pretty. “I… don’t know if you would love the answer to that question,” he replies, because she’d see right through him even if he wanted to lie about it.

She smiles, but it’s a sympathetic expression, like she can see the Red Bull coursing through his veins or some shit like that. “Answer anyway.”

“Um.” Okay, busted. For real this time. While she hooks her arms around his neck, he tries to gather an explanation. “Okay, so I may not have slept, but hear me out, okay? I wanted to make sure I had stuff in a row so that when you woke up, it’d all be good for you, since I know we kinda have, like, a limited window here, and I didn’t want you to just have to eat, like, peanut butter toast on your birthday, right? Like, that would suck, and also, I was already up because of work, and I had stuff to do anyway, so basically, I didn’t, uh, I didn’t sleep at all, but on the bright side, there is pancake batter ready for you, and I promise I’m gonna clean up all the cooking shit ASAP because I know it looks like a war zone in this kitchen right now—”

“Reid.”

He stops. Her voice is gentle, and she’s smiling— it’s not the pity smile anymore, but just a regular smile. She threads her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he breathes, almost instinctively. “Sorry. That was so much. You just woke up. Hi. I love you. Happy birthday. You look really hot right now.”

Bri laughs, and leans up, on tiptoe, until her forehead is right on his. “Reid,” she repeats, even more gently, and he lets out all his breath again, closes his eyes. “Take a deep breath.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” He tries to do as she says. It’s really not hard to breathe; he just forgets that’s a necessary bodily task from time to time. No big whoop. “I promise I’ll clean it up. And I’ll make the pancakes, and— wait, shit!” The realization hits him all at once, and his stomach sinks. “Shit. Fuck. I don’t think we have whipped cream.”

“Whipped cream?” Bri asks, and she sort of laughs, like she’s confused, but this is very bad, because that’s a necessary part of any balanced pancake breakfast, right?

“Fuck,” he repeats, and then groans, bumping his forehead against hers lightly. “Fuck, babe; I’m so sorry. I knew I was forgetting something. I can go out, though. Maybe while you shower? I can get it on the corner—”

“Babe,” Bri says, and it occurs to him that he has once again forgotten to breathe. But when he meets her eyes again, she’s smiling, kind of laughing, and she shakes her head. “Shut up.”

“What?” He blinks. His glasses fog up a little, with how close their faces are, and he squints through them toward her. “I really will go out and get it. What are birthday pancakes without whipped—”

Bri slides her hands up to either side of his face, and she shakes her head again. “Just shut up and kiss me, okay?”

The pit leaves his stomach, and he stops in his tracks. “Oh,” he says, and then laughs, too. “Okay. I can do that.”

It’s a kiss that stops the racing in his brain, which it really always does; she just knows how to do that by existing. It becomes two, and then three, and when they pull apart, Reid can breathe normally again.

“You didn’t have to stay up all night because of me,” she tells him, voice still gentle, eyes still on him.

“I’m sorry,” he groans. “I didn’t really— I mean, I really didn’t want you to have a lame morning.”

“Well, that was very sweet of you,” she replies. Her eyes are catching the sunrise light that edges in through the window. He could get distracted by that. By her body. By every freckle on her face. He is, after all, easily distractible. “But,” Bri adds, “as long as my morning has you in it, I promise you, there’s nothing lame about it.”

He laughs, and kind of feels sheepish, like he might be blushing. “Okay.” He doesn’t deserve her, but he’ll take her at her word.

“C’mere.” She pulls him down for another kiss, and, yeah, this he can do. The apartment is way too small, and he is a human disaster, but she loves him anyway, for some reason he still can’t figure out, and he’ll never stop being grateful for that.

“Thank you,” she says, when they pause to breathe again. “I’m excited for pancakes.”

“I’ll make them good,” he assures her, and she laughs.

“I know you will,” she replies, and then smiles with half her mouth, so her one dimple shows, and that is fucking adorable. Holy Christ. He might be sleep-deprived, but if looks could kill… “But,” she adds, with that smirk still lingering, “not yet.”

“Not yet?” he echoes, and blames the sleep deprivation for how slow the realization is. “Right, yeah. Because you should shower, right? Get ready for work?”

“I think I have a distinct amount of time before I actually have to be ready for work,” she replies, and ohhhh. Oh. Okay.

This, too, he can do.

“I think I understand you,” he tries.

Bri winks. “You definitely understand me,” she says, and then grabs him by the hand and pulls him back toward their bed. “And plus, it’s my birthday.”

He almost makes a birthday suit joke, and then decides that puns are not an effective method of seduction today. Not that Bri really needs seducing. Right this second, anyway.

“I’m so honored,” he says, instead, and grins when she pushes him down to sit on the edge of the mattress. He holds her by the waist and waits, still smirking. “You mean to say you want me to be your present?”

“Something like that,” she replies, with a shrug, and then pushes him so he falls backwards, and he gets exactly three seconds to laugh at the ceiling before she’s kissing him and he gets to move on to something much, much better than rambling about his failures as a boyfriend in the middle of the kitchen.

Breakfast can wait.

[bpro-cardstories]

Tatsuhiro Nome SSR

2018 ー BIRTHDAY PARTY [BIRTHDAY PARTY]

“Until it’s time for the audition, how about having Tsubasa playing the role of your dance partner?”

Part 1

(The magazine interview seems to progress smoothly.)

Interviewer: ‘The year has passed and Nome-kun will be celebrating his birthday by the time this issue comes out. What year do you want it to be?’ 

(Now that it has been mentioned, Nome-san’s birthday is only a few days away…..)

Tatsuhiro: ‘Let’s see…. I want to refine my performance and make our fans happy. And, if I can overcome my weaknesses….. Ah.’

Interview: ‘Hee, weaknesses, you say?’

Tatsuhiro (nervous): ‘C-Compared to the other members, my talking skills are weak, so I’d like to work on them.’ 

Interview: ‘Aah, I see. Talking skills are important, aren’t they.~’ 

(It seems that I was wrong about it progressing smoothly. But it’s about Nome-san’s weaknesses, so it must be that......) ______________

Mikado (winks): ‘Tatsu-dono, you said it before in the interview, but wanting to overcome your weaknesses is very positive of you.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘I-I said it without thinking. I thought that it can’t go on as it has been.’ 

Hikaru: ‘Though, it’s sudden? What’s wrong?’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘To be honest, in the stage audition I accepted this time, I’m assigned to do a ballroom dance with an actress…..’ 

Kazuna: ‘I see. And it puts pressure on you.’ 

Tatsuhiro (smiles): ‘Yeah. But I want to overcome it, even if it’s just a bit, by taking this chance. After all, I also want to widen my work field.’ 

(That seems to be the case. I wonder how he’ll be able to overcome his weakness?) 

Momotaro: ‘Then there’s a good method for it.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘What one?’ 

Momotaro: ‘Until it’s time for the audition, how about have Tsubasa play the role of your dance partner?’ 

Tatsuhiro (shocked): ‘What?’

Tsubasa: ‘Me!?’ 

(You’re quite close to each other in ballroom dance. It must be more stressful than when meeting the actress for the first time. Will I be good enough…..)  

Tatsuhiro: ‘Wait a minute, Onzai. That’s…..’ 

Mikado: ‘As expected of Momotasu! I think it’s a great idea. You sure are used to everything.’ 

Hikaru: ‘True, true! If you need to do a ballroom dance then a partner is necessary, right?’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘You aren’t wrong but…..’ 

Kazuna: ‘Sumisora-san, what do you think? It’s not part of your work as the A&R, but you’re suitable, in my opinion.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘If Nome-san is not against it, then I am fine. I am also happy if he can overcome his weakness.’

Tatsuhiro (surprised): ‘.......’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Since I received this chance, I want to pass. Sumisora, will you cooperate with me?’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Of course!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘Sorry for the trouble.’ 

Hikaru: ‘Of course it won’t be just Tsubasa-chan! We’ll also lend you a hand! One-two-three-one-two-three, was it?’ 

Tatsuhiro (smiles): ‘You’re a big, Hikaru. I won’t dance with you.’ 

(The role of the ballroom partner is difficult. I hope the audition will go well.) 

Part 2

ーAnother day, in the lobby.ー

Tsubasa: ‘This is all for tomorrow’s schedule. If there are no questions, I will take my leave…..’

Kazuna: ‘Everything’s fine. Thank you, Sumisora-san.’

Tsubasa: ‘Yes, you are welcome!’

Hikaru: ‘Thanks~!’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘I will head to the studio afterwards.’ 

Momotaro: ‘Practice today, too?’

Tatsuhiro: ‘Yeah, the stage audition is close, after all.’

(Practicing at such a time again…..) 

Mikado: ‘Tatsu-dono sure is a hard worker.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san, is there something I can help you with?’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘No, not really.’

Mikado: ‘Oho, didn’t you ask Tsubasa-san to be your ballroom dance partner?’ 

Hikaru: ‘That’s right, Tatsu! Let her accompany you~!’

Tatsuhiro (blushes): ‘T-This….. I was going to ask when I improved a bit.’

Mikado: ‘If you say so, then it will be the day of the audition in the blink of an eye, you know.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Anyways! I want to practice alone for now. I’m going now.’ 

Hikaru: ‘Ah, Tatsu! Aw, he’s gone…..’ 

Kazuna: ‘Well, practice only just started. Let’s watch over him, shall we?’

Momotaro: ‘I agree.’ 

Mikado: ‘Alright, since Tatsu-dono is gone, shall we talk about the plan from the other day?’

Hikaru: ‘Ooh, now that you mentioned it!’

Tsubasa: ‘The plan from the other day, what do you mean?’

Mikado: ‘Hehehe….. You’d like to hear? If you listen, then you will be our accomplice and can’t turn backーー’

Momotaro: ‘It’s about holding a birthday party for Tatsu.’

Mikado: ‘Momotasu!!??’

Tsubasa: ‘Waah, this is wonderful!’

Kazuna: ‘Because we want it to be a surprise, keep it a secret from Tatsuhiro, okay?’ 

Hikaru: ‘Ah, come as well, Tsubasa-chan! Pi-chan and Mikachin will serve us lots of delicious food!’

Tsubasa: ‘Thank you very much. I am happy about your invitation, but if I am present, Nome-san will not be able to relax…..’ 

Momotaro: ‘No, Tsubasa is fine.’ 

Kazuna: ‘That’s true. If Sumisora-san comes, too, Tatsuhiro will be even more pleased.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘If this is the case, then please let me celebrate with you!’ 

(Nome-san’s birthday party, huh….. I need to buy him a present.)

Part 3

ーAnother day, in MooNs’ room.ー

Hikaru: ‘Tsubasa-chan, welcome! What’s wrong?’

Tsubasa: ‘I am sorry for coming so late in the evening. I am here to deliver the materials for the stage audition to Nome-san. The office entrusted me with this task.’

Mikado: ‘I see. Even though you came all the way here, I have to apologize. Tatsu-dono went to the practice studio.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Is it for the audition?’ 

Mikado: ‘Yes, this is what I assume.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘He really is working hard.’

Kazuna (worried): ‘Yeah. He really seems to do his best but…..’ 

Momotaro (worried): ‘Yeah…..’

Tsubasa: ‘Is there something the matter with?’ 

Momotaro: ‘Because he’s been practicing without a partner, he’s struggling to grasp the image.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘I see…..’ 

Hikaru: ‘We said so many times to ask Tsubasa-chan.’ 

Mikado: ‘Asking you to be his partner was too high of a hurdle for Tatsu-dono, so it seems.’ 

(You can’t simply ask someone to be your partner in ballroom dance, huh. But I’m worried…..)

Tsubasa: ‘I will go take a look at Nome-san’s condition.’

ーAt the studio.ー

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san, good evening.’

Tatsuhiro: ‘........’

(Even though I came in, he didn’t notice. He looks like he’s concentrating…..)

Tatsuhiro: ‘I need to turn here…..’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘......., Sumisora!?’

Tsubasa: ‘I-I am sorry. I surprised you.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘No, I exaggerated. Since when were you here?’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Since a bit ago. Because you were seriously concentrating, I thought it would be bad to interrupt…..’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Is that so.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Ah, because additional audition material came in, I am here to deliver them.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Understood. Put them over there for me.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Is that all? Sorry but it’s distracting, so could you leave me alone. That would be a big help.’ 

(As I thought, when it’s just us two it’s awkward, huh….) 

Tsubasa: ‘...... I understand. Please do your best!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘.......’

Tsubasa: ‘Then, I will ーー’

Tatsuhiro: ‘W-Wait!’

Tsubasa: ‘Eh!?’

(Nome-san is holding my hand……) 

Tatsuhiro (perplexed): ‘Ah, my bad……’ 

Tsubasa: ‘No, is something wrong?’

Tatsuhiro: ‘...... So, is it alright to ask, after all? I want to ask you to be my dance partner.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san……’ 

(His hand that held mine was cold, he must be nervous. Despite this, to overcome his weakness, he’s trying his best…..)

Tsubasa: ‘Of course! Let’s work hard together!’

Part 4

Owing to the nature of ballroom dance, Tatsuhiro and Tsubasa are extremely close to each other during practice.

Tatsuhiro: ‘ーーIt must be like this. Okay, that’s it for today.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Yes.’ 

(I had my doubts at first but during the second half, it became pretty good.) 

Tatsuhiro: ‘It’s a completely different feeling with a partner, after all. Thanks to it, I was able to grasp the image.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Yes, it’s getting better and better.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘You’re right. ….. Uh.’

Tatsuhiro (blushes): ‘....... Uh!?’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Ah…….’ 

(Right, since we stayed like this when the dance ended, we stayed close to each other.) 

Tatsuhiro (blushes): ‘My bad, I…..’ 

Tsubasa: ‘No, please don’t be.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Haa….. Even though it was fine during the dance.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘No, it’s amazing how you overcome your weakness during the dance!’ 

Tatsuhiro (smiles): ‘Now that you said it, until now it was hard for me.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘If you keep up practice in this condition, the audition surely will be fine. Please be confident in yourself!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘Yeah, it’s a step forward.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Sumisora, you must be busy, too, but will you join me during practice from now on?’

Tsubasa: ‘Yes, of course!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘That’s a big help.’ 

Part 5 

ーAnother day, in the evening.ー

Tsubasa: ‘The recording for the Variety show program earlier was very lively.’ 

Hikaru: ‘Absolutely! I also had tons of fun! During the quizー.....’ 

Mikado (sighs): ‘Hikarun, it’s time to go.’ 

Hikaru: ‘Eh? …… Ah~, okay, okay!’

Mikado: ‘Because we have a business to take care of, we will excuse ourselves now.’  

Kazuna: Sumisora-san, we leave Tatsuhiro in your hands.’ 

Momotaro: ‘Goodbye.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Ah, yes. Take care……’

(It was obvious that they went ahead to prepare for the birthday party…..) 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Geez, if you lie then do it more naturally.’ 

(As I thought….. . I wonder if it can be called lying.) 

Tatsuhiro (smiles): ‘Then, let’s take our time going back, huh.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san…….’ 

Tatsuhiro (surprised): ‘Hm?’

Tsubasa: ‘No….. Fufu, let’s do that.’ ______________

ーAfter coming back to MooNs’ room.ー

Tatsuhiro: ‘I’m home.’ 

Hikaru: ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Uwaah! Are these crackers…..?’

Mikado: ‘Tatsu-dono, Happy birthday!’ 

Kazuna: ‘Happy birthday, Tatsuhiro.’

Momotaro: ‘Happy Birthday.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san, Happy birthday!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘Thanks, everyone.’ 

Kazuna: ‘Come in. We prepared your favourite food.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘...... Wow. When did you even prepare all this?’

Mikado: ‘Hehe, we used KitaKore’s kitchen.’ 

Momotaro: ‘We put all our skill in making all the dishes, so don’t hold back and eat.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Thanks.’ 

At that moment a phone call comes in.

Tsubasa: ‘...... Ah, please excuse me, I will answer the call.’ 

Kazuna: ‘Then, shall we start when Sumisora-san ended her call?’ 

Hikaru: ‘Yup! Alright, I will prepare the drinks.’ 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘Hm? What’s wrong?’

Tsubasa: ‘The result of your taken stage audition the other day came in just now…..’ 

Tsubasa: ‘You successfully passed! Congratulations!’

Hikaru: ‘Ooh! Tatsu, congrats!’

Momotaro: ‘Your hard work paid off.’ 

Kazuna: ‘You stayed up late to practice so hard for this audition, after all.’ 

Mikado: ‘Tuunk! It's a piece of information perfectly suitable for this kind of day!’

Tatsuhiro: ‘It’s thanks to everyone. I’m especially indebted to Sumisora.’

Tsubasa: ‘No, that’s….. It’s the result of Nome-san’s hard word.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘No, it’s thanks to you playing the partner role that I could take the challenge without being nervous on that day.’ 

Everyone in MooNs is astonished by this information. None of them expected this when they suggested the idea back then.

Hikaru: ‘Eh, what does that mean?’

Mikado: ‘T-Tatsu-dono, did Tsubasa-san really play the partner role!?’

Momotaro: ‘It’s my first time hearing this.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Haa? Didn’t you all say I should ask her.’ 

Kazuna: ‘We did say it, true but…. To be honest, we didn’t think you would actually do it.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘What’s with that!?’

Hikaru: ‘A one-to-one practice with Tsubasa-chan, how unfair~~! I also want to take a ballroom dance audition~~!’ 

Mikado: ‘Kuuh……! To think Tatsu-dono would take such bold action…..!’

Momotaro: ‘Mika, Hikaru, calm down.’

Kazuna: ‘Momo’s right. Shall we celebrate both Tatsuhiro’s birthday and his passing first?’ 

Hikaru: ‘Oh, oops, you’re right!’

Tatsuhiro (smiles): ‘Good grief……’ 

(Fufu, Nome-san seems to be happy while saying so…..) 

Tsubasa: ‘Nome-san, once again, Happy birthday. This is my present for you.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Are you sure?’

Tsubasa: ‘Of course. They are mobile warmers. If your hands get cold because of the nervousness, please use them to warm up your hands.’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘I see…..’ 

Tatsuhiro: ‘Thanks, Sumisora. I’ll use them with care.’ 

END