#today is sucking a lot so far but its ok bc i expected that much

[leecherish]

.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Bakugou’s daughter brings home a Boyfriend

Bakugou x wife!reader

Ft. Bakugou’s daughter

Warnings: fluff, lowkey Crack, sexual mentions, small angst, cursing, Bakugou being such a dad

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is one of my favorite types of Bakugou. Domestic father Bakugou!! So bc of that fact, this piece was born. Hope you enjoy!

Bakugou as a boyfriend? Bliss. Bakugou as a fiancé? Heaven. Bakugou as a husband? Euphoric

Bakugou as a dad?.......he sure is something

Don’t get me wrong, Bakugou would be the ultimate dad

Baby crying in the middle of the night? Sleep love, daddy’s got it. Baby needs a bottle? He can warm it up with his hands. Baby’s feeling bored? Look at these mini fireworks in his hands!! Katsuki’s got it all

But that’s a baby Bakugou

Bakugou with a teenager

oOf

Katsuki’s teen will be either one of two things

His best friend

Or his mortal enemy (whom he still loves endlessly)

His 16 year old daughter, Katsumi, was both

And yes they loved each other very much, but they also got into battles on who could cook dinner better, who Y/N loved more, hell, when y’all came back from a restaurant THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO MADE IT TO THE FRONT DOOR FIRST

But this battle? Y/N might just let them Kill each other...just this once

——————————————————————————

“WHO THE FUCK IS THI-“

*SMACK* (thx Y/N)

“Daddy, this is Izuru! Izuru this is my lovely mother and that’s my shitty dad that I love so dearly!”

Katsumi definitely inherited her guts from the Bakugou’s

“Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs. Bakugou!”

Ah man, here we go

Silence. Pure, awkward, scary, silence. And of course Y/N’s nervous twitching HOPING that her dear husband doesn’t murder the green haired boy. As the young couple stand infront of the doorway smiling, the older couple is staring at them, one in nervousness, and the other in shock. (I’m talking Denki going 4 million volts shocked)

“Well.....Welcome Izuru! I knew you’d be coming over soon but I didn’t expect it tonight. It’s lovely to meet you,” Y/N ever so kindly said once she let out a sigh.

Her husband almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at her. “Knew?!? You knew about this kid?? And didn’t bother to tell me?!??”

“Well if I told you, you woulda stopped this meeting from happening ya jerk!” Y/N visciously explained.

“YA DAMN RIGHT CUZ-“ silenced with another smack from his wife. Y/N sure learned a lot from Mitsuki. “Please come in you two, I’ll start dinner.”

As the young couple sat in the living room speaking, the older one was in the kitchen preparing food. Well one of them was, the other was too busy burning a whole into the poor boy’s body with just his eyes.

*SMACK*

“Ow.” Continues to stare

“Suki stop that, you’re gonna scare the poor boy.” Y/N said.

“GOOD. I DONT WANT SOMEONE LIKE HIM CONTAMINATING THE BAKUGOU LINE!” The blonde dramatically yelled.

“Contaminating? Love, we don’t even know if they’ve had sex. I doubt he’s “contaminating” anything any time soon.” You said with attitude.

Bakugou just stared at you know with the same look.

“Hmph!” And turned to look back at the kids.

“HEY!” Bakugou screamed.

“Heyyyyy~” Katsumi replied.

“No not “Heyyyy~,” Katsuki began and replied with a girly impersonation of his daughter as he walk towards the couple. “I mean, HEY, as in have you had sex with this kid?” He sternly asked.

“KATSUKI OH MY GOD,” Y/N screamed as she dropped something in shock.

“.......Yeah, so what?” His daughter replied.

Y/N wasn’t even mad. She already knew. She could tell. Mother’s instinct I guess.

Katsuki was fuming.

“NOPE! NO! THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT GO ON! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX!” The older blonde screamed while looking at the now blushing green haired teen and his rebellious daughter. And Y/N was just giving him this...look.

‘What a fucking hypocrite’ you thought to yourself.

“How old were you when you fucked mom?”

(ITS QUIET AINT NO BACKTALK)

Pure and utter silence.

Katsuki started stepping back from the couple while facing them and nodding his head. “.....use condoms,” and walked back to his deceased wife.

As dinner is placed on the table and everyone takes their seats, Katsuki can’t help but stare at this boy. Why does he seem so familiar?

Everyone just ate and talked. Grades, school, when did y’all meet, how long has it been? The usual. But Katsuki remained silent while thinking. And then..it clicked!

Katsuki slammed his hands on the table and stood up from his seat looking at the boy across from him. “What’s your last name?!”

Izuru was nervous because he was well aware of who Katsumi’s father was and how her father’s relationship with his own father was kinda iffy.

“M-Midoriya sir.” He nervously stated.

Katsuki saw red.

“DEKU?!??????!!!!!” He screamed

“Oh come on Katsuki! Like that wasn’t obvious!” You said rolling your eyes.

“There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna let the Bakugou line be contaminated with Deku’s genes! Our family line only brings in the best of the best!” Katsuki proudly and loudly stated.

“So what am I?” Y/N asked.

“The best of the best! You were and are the perfect one for me Y/N! You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. And look at what we created-“ he was interrupted by his wife.

“A mini you?”

“A MINI ME! And who wouldn’t want that?!”

“Dad.” Katsumi said.

Now that caught Katsuki off guard. For the past 16 years, Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl. She never called him “dad,” ew. She said “Daddy,” or “Shitty dad.” As Katsuki turned to his daughter he could see the look in her eyes.

“.......you really wanna be with this kid?” He asked.

“I really do.” Katsumi said while grabbing onto Izuru’s hand.

“...Ok then. You can be with him.” Katsuki calmly said.

Katsumi excitingly got up and ran towards her dad’s seat giving him a hug.

“Thanks daddy,” she said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Dinner continued on as normal as it could. Katsuki was just gonna have to learn how to let go.

Later

As the married couple got ready to sleep, Katsuki was hanging outside their balcony.

“What was up with you Blasty? I haven’t seen that kinda Katsuki since UA.” You jokingly said as you went to stand beside him.

“You’re not scared?” Katsuki asked.

“Of?”

“Katsumi. She’s growing up. She has a boyfriend now. That girl is having sex! She’s not daddy’s little girl anymore.” He sadly said.

“That’s what this is about? Katsumi growing up? Suki, this was always gonna happen. She’s in her prime teenage years. She’s 16! A lots gonna start happening.” You began.

“I know that but-“

“But nothing Katsuki. You can be scared of her growing up, I am too, but we can’t be so scared that we try and stop her. You just have to know that Katsumi will always come back to us no matter how old she is. And she will always, always be a daddy’s girl. Her entire world revolves around you Katsuki, but we gotta let her go at some point. We have to let her grow. That’s how the best of the best are made after all, right? It’s what we look for in a Bakugou.” You finished.

Katsuki couldnt do anything but smile. You were right. He knew you were. And he was willing to let his little cub grow.

“......You’ve gotta stop interrupting me when I talk.” He laughed.

“And you’ve gotta stop saying the dumbest shit in the world.” You teased back.

He pulled you in for a quick peck and just held you there in his arms. He was so glad he had you to keep him grounded. You’re the best of the best after all. It only makes sense.

“Daddy?” Katsumi walked into her parents room, unnoticed.

As the two broke the hug to see their daughter, looking a little timid, Katsuki spoke.

“Katsumi, hey princess. What’s up with you.” Katsuki asked as he walked towards his daughter.

“You’re not...disappointed in me, right? You know, for who I chose to be with. I’m sorry if I chose Izuru but I-“ this time, it was Katsuki who interrupted.

“Hey hey, no of course not baby bear. I would never be disappointed in who your true feelings pulled you to. I don’t want you to apologize for anything when today I caused most of the trouble.” Katsuki said while wiping one of his daughter’s stray tears.

“You know I’m never gonna leave you guys. Right? I’m gonna grow up but I’ll always want to have a close relationship with you and mom. I love you guys, and I’m not going anywhere.” Katsumi said.

“We know Katsumi. And we love you too. And we’re far from disappointed in you. We are so proud of the young woman you’ve become today.” Y/N joined in.

Katsumi ran to her mother and gave her the tightest hug, and Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at his two girls. His world. His entire reason for living. All right there in his arms as he pulled them in for a bigger hug.

“Thanks you guys. Well, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ve got a date with Izuru tomorrow and I don’t wanna be late.” Katsumi began walking towards her parents door until Katsuki called her.

“Hey baby bear,”

“Yeah?”

“Izuru. He seems alright. He’ll be good for you.” Katsuki admitted.

“Yeah. He really is. He’s the best of the best after all. Reminds me of someone I know.” Katsumi said while leaving the room.

Yeah. Katsuki will be just fine.

A/N: Sheesh. This kinda sucked but I did this in my literature class sooo....it’s still credible work since I was writing, right? Yeah..?....No?...yeah ok. Anyways, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT BEAR CUBS🧸💗

P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!! And I PROMISE I’ll get better and produce more work. Feel free to leave requests!

[diaphragmjellyfish]

I’ll Take Care of You

Ok so this is pre-shift Jacob because he’s the only correct Jacob, also I’m ignoring the whole “imprint on Renesmee” thing bc it’s MY fic and I get to pick the plot lmaooo. 

Requested by @bisexualturtledove

Jacob Black was a charmer, to say the least. He’d only had to ask you out three times before you said yes, which is more than any other guy could say. You respected his tenacity, and ended up going out with him for no other reason than to put him out of his misery, fully expecting it to be awkward and a solid end to your guys’ thing. Safe to say that’s not what happened. 5 months later and you were in a happy relationship planning your lives together. However, there was always a bump in the road with you. Something that had ruined every relationship you’ve had so far, and you hadn’t told Jacob in an effort to keep him around as long as you could. But the truth had to come out sooner or later. You couldn’t keep avoiding his heated kisses, his undressing gaze, his wandering hands. 

The truth was, you were terrified to have sex with Jacob. So many insecurities run through your mind whenever he tries to take things to the next level that you freeze up, and Jacob being the sweetheart he is, stops immediately in an effort to make you comfortable. You knew that this was the only thing keeping your relationship from being perfect. You wanted to, I mean really wanted to have sex with him. But you were insecure about your performance. It wasn’t that you didn’t think you could please him… it was that you knew no guy had ever been able to please you and that made them insecure and resentful, which always ended in a messy breakup. You weren’t sure if it was the antidepressants you had been on, the nerves of being intimate with someone, or if you were broken, but for the life of you, you could not orgasm. 

However, you knew it was time for a change. You had to face this head on. If he didn’t accept you for you, then as painful as it would be, he wasn’t the one for you. So you invited him over, putting away anything in your room that could be a distraction to the serious talk you were about to have with him. Jacob climbed in through your open window, his usual suave entrance, and immediately rushed over to you, out of breath. 

“Is everything okay?” he panicked. You took him in. It looked like he got ready in a hurry, hair messy and… Jeez, was he shaking? 

“I think the better question is, are you ok? You look like you just saw a ghost, babe.” you worried back. 

“Well when my girlfriend just sends me a text saying We need to talk. That doesn’t exactly put a good feeling in my stomach.”

“We do need to talk. Or I guess, I need to tell you something. About.. Me.” God, why were you so nervous? Just spit it out! 

“Okay. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me,” he encouraged. 

You grabbed his hand and moved to sit on the edge of your bed. He sat next to you, waiting intently for your next words. After a long pause, you found the words. “So… I’m sure you’ve noticed that we haven’t had sex yet.” Wow. Nice one. 

“Umm, yeah. I’ve noticed. I mean, I know that.” He seemed even more confused at this. 

“Yeah,” you laughed awkwardly, gaze focusing on the carpet. “There’s a reason for it. I’ve had some past experiences that are making me… hesitant, I guess?” you tried to explain. He only nodded for you to keep going, thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. “Okay, this is going to be awkward. So I have a really hard time,” you sighed deeply, already cringing at your next words, “finishing.” You looked up at him at this. His eyebrows were furrowed, but he had the beginnings of a smile on his face. 

“Finishing,” he repeated. “Like, having an orgasm?” You guys had always had a super open, communicative relationship. You could tell him. 

“Yeah. Because of that, the guys I’ve been with normally end up getting really frustrated and mad at me and, I mean, there’s not really much I can do about it but I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t want you to be disappointed and end up resenting me because I make you feel insecure when I won’t cum and,” you take a deep breath, feeling yourself about to cry. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” he moved you onto his lap, rubbing your back soothingly. “Y/N, I would never do that to you. I don’t care if we never have sex. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Okay?”

You nod, tears rolling down your face at his kind words. He brings a hand up to your chin, lifting your face so you are looking him in the eye. He smiles softly at you. 

“Thank you for telling me.” 

“I just didn’t want you to think it was your fault or anything,” you replied. 

“Baby, you know it’s not your fault either, right?” 

You didn’t respond, just stared at the wall over his shoulder in deep thought, brows furrowed. Truthfully, you did think it was your fault. If you could only finish like any normal woman could, this wouldn’t be a problem. 

“Babe. Look at me,” you did, hesitantly. “Its. Not. Your. Fault.” he paused between each word to emphasize his point further. 

“Jacob, how can you say that when I’m the one that’s keeping us from having sex? When I’m the one that’s broken.” Something snapped in him at this. He became stern, grabbing the sides of your face to keep your gaze on him. Gently, but firmly. 

“You are not broken. Don’t ever say that. If you need some extra attention, that’s fine. We can figure all that out. But don’t ever say you’re broken or not good enough. Do you hear me?” 

“Yes,” you murmured. He wiped the tears off your face and sat with you while you  fully calmed down before speaking again. 

“Good. We’re gonna have an open, honest conversation about what you need so that I know how to make you happy. So… what gets you off?”

His bluntness made you huff out a laugh. “Okay, umm. Well, the only thing that’s, ya know… done it for me, is,” you made a gesture with your hands while Jacob waited patiently for you to finish. “A… thing.” 

“A thing.” he parroted, still wildly confused. 

“You know!” You continued making nonsensical gestures, so Jacob knew he would have to start guessing. 

“What? A dildo?” you shook your head, blushing. “A vibrator?” At this, you looked at him, smiling quickly before burying your face in your hands in embarrassment. “Babe, lots of girls need that. It’s not a big deal. I really don’t mind using one with you, I just want to make you feel good.” 

“Really?” you were genuinely surprised. Most guys hated the idea of using toys in the bedroom. They always thought they should be enough for you, when they just weren’t no matter what they did. So you always ignored your own needs to fuel their egos. But you hadn’t anticipated that Jacob might actually be willing to use one with you. 

“Of course. Do you have one?” 

“Yeah,” your voice was small once again, eyes peeking through your fingers. 

He paused for a second. Two seconds. “Can I use it on you?” his voice seemed an octave deeper as he asked. 

You sucked in a breath. In your wildest dreams, you thought maybe he’d be okay with you using one on yourself while you guys were intimate. But here he was, asking to use it. On you. Wow. All you could do was nod. 

“Yeah? Where is it?” at this, you pointed to the drawer of your bedside table. He reached over, opening it. His hand rummaged around for a few seconds before he pulled out a small pink bullet vibrator, holding it up to the light, and testing it. He pressed the button, the toy immediately making a low buzzing sound, as he teasingly held it to your upper arm, laughing as you jumped. “This is gonna be fun,” he smiled wolfishly. You were still perched on his lap. He turned the vibrator off, leaning in to kiss you deeply. Jacob had always been an amazing kisser, and today was no different. His lips were so gentle, sucking at your bottom lip before swiping his tongue over yours, occasionally nipping lightly. You guys heatedly made out for a couple of minutes before his hand trailed under your shirt, and his lips travelled down your jaw and to your neck. He suckled at the skin here as you gasped, tilting your head to the side to allow more access. He’d always been a fan of leaving marks on you, but it never stopped feeling good. The next minute happened in such a frenzy of lips and gasps and wandering hands, that you found yourself lying under him with just a bra and underwear on, him lying over you, still kissing at your neck, with just his own underwear to keep him covered. He still held the vibrator in his hand, but you had forgotten about it until he held it to your inner thigh, flicking it on. The sudden sensation had you jumping out of your skin, breath laboring quickly. He was holding it a good 5 inches away from your center, but the feeling had you squirming nonetheless. 

His other hand came up behind your back to unclasp your bra. You sat up for a second to slip it off your shoulders, and came back down only for Jacob’s lips to latch around your right nipple. You gave a soft moan, only encouraging him to swirl his tongue lightly over it. Your hands found purchase in his long, thick hair, tugging whenever something felt especially good. He was teasing you. You could tell, because your hips were grinding on air, trying to get him to move the toy upwards, but he kept it firmly planted on your thigh. 

“Jacob,” you panted. He ignored you. “Jacob, c’mon,” you tried again. 

“Hmm?” he hummed around your other nipple. 

You were becoming frustrated. “I thought you said you wanted to use it on m-oh!” your back arched off the bed as he suddenly moved it up directly over your clit, pressing down firmly. You were moaning openly at this point, hips continuing to writhe on the vibrator. He began moving it in small, tight circles, letting you grind your hips however felt good. He moved to kiss you deeply once more, your moans getting lost in his lips. You two remained like this for God knows how long, your stomach eventually beginning to cramp from clenching and unclenching, your body practically begging for release. But you just could not get there. Jacob seemed as calm and patient as ever, but you wanted to cum so bad it hurt. You thought you might cry. 

“What do you need?” he whispered in your ear, lovingly. 

You blinked away a tear as you replied, “I don’t know.” He could hear the sadness and frustration in your voice, so he pulled the vibrator away, sitting up. 

“Alright. C’mere love.” You knew he would give up. They always did. God, you were so useless. “Take these off for me,” he tugged at the waistband of your underwear as he reached into his pants pocket off the floor and pulled out a silver square. A condom. Of course he still wanted to get off. He’d given you so much time, it was only fair he get his fill. You did as he asked and slipped your underwear off, tossing them to the floor as he stripped himself of his and rolled the condom onto his painfully hard cock. He moved back over to you still on the bed, grabbed your face between his hands, and gave you a loving kiss. 

“I’m gonna take care of you baby. Okay?” 

Again, all you could do was nod. Wait. Was he still at it? He still wanted to get you off? Damn. This boy was determined. And you were thankful for the effort. He grabbed you by the waist, turning you around to kneel on the edge of the bed, back facing his chest as he stood behind you. He wrapped one arm across your chest, hand landing on your throat. Oh god. He applied a small amount of pressure as his other hand lined him up with your entrance, pushing in lightly. You had been so desperate for any sort of friction that there was no resistance from your body. Inch by inch. By inch. By inch. He slid into you, keeping the pressure on your throat. When he was fully seated inside you, he paused to let your body fully adjust to his impressive size. You grinded back on him, and he took this as his cue to start moving. He pulled out slightly, pushing back in. Again and again and again, each time building speed and force. When your breathing once again became labored, he brought the hand that was on your waist down to hold that beautiful pink vibrator right onto your clit. This time, there were no undergarments in the way. This time, he had his hand around your throat, keeping you in place. This time, he was fucking you, and God it made all the difference. You began to moan again, feeling that knot in your stomach tighten more and more. He kept everything consistent for the next several minutes, encouraged by your moans and grinding hips. Your back was flush against his chest, and you could feel the definition of his abs as he fucked you. 

Once again, you felt right on the edge. Right at the point where you felt yourself about to fall, but something kept holding you there. If you weren’t able to come from this, you might die. Jacob seemed to be able to sense you starting to get frustrated once more, so he began pounding into you at a much harder pace than before, desperate to get you there before he finished. Your moans went up in pitch, that soft spot inside of you practically jolting with electricity every time he hit it. Your eyes rolled back in your head, never having experienced any pleasure like this before. It was raw, animalistic, aggressive. And you loved it. Suddenly, Jacob shifted his hand on the vibrator, turning it up to high. You screamed. Your whole body shuddered, the feeling going from your brain to your toes, and you came hard. Your body was shaking, center throbbing and juicier than ever. The sight of you cumming, the feeling of you tightening around him, had Jacob coming just minutes after you. 

When he had come down, he pulled the vibrator off you, switching it off and tossing it onto the floor. Your clit was swollen and sensitive. Jacob brought his other hand off your throat, not noticing that that was the only thing holding you up. You collapsed forward onto the bed, having just enough energy to turn your head to the side before you hit the mattress. Your legs still trembled violently, and Jake was super careful as he got a damp towel from the bathroom and wiped you off. When you were both cleaned, he lay down on the bed, grabbing you under the arms and pulling you up next to him. Your eyes couldn’t even hold themselves open. He soothingly rubbed your back as he teasingly whispered into your ear, “Told you I would take care of you.”

[skullshoal]

talking about jobs and stuff again under cut bc its all i talk about and if it’s draining you dont have to read. Not wholesale negative but talking about what i wanna do and my mental state.

So after today’s interview fiasco maybe i will try instead to try and see if i can possibly make patreon a viable supplementary income. I am sick of shitty retail jobs draining all my energy away and killing me. Plus as unhappy as i am at my work i would be a lot less desperate to leave if i just had more fucking money. Especially if i could cut down on my hours there to divert energy to something that doesn’t suck the soul out of my corpse.

I have been wary to try for a long time because i have had so much trouble producing art at the same time as working. I think if I could set up a schedule for myself that people were paying to see my work for I would be much more motivated to make it happen. the want-to versus have-to do something thing. I’m also wary of making art my job since. I just like doing it. I know making something your job changes it. But also if the only other choice is retail then well I am willing to take that risk. I wanted art to be my job anyway this is just a lot more direct. I don’t expect big bucks or anything especially not for a while but my out look on jobs is so so bleak right now. I keep applying to places that actually sound worth while and then i get an interview and its either totally bad or they don’t want me. I’m so fucking frustrated and drained and bleeding out and dying and it’s for minimum wage. I like the store i work at and i think if i try to set up the environment to better suit me then i would be less miserable. if i can ask for a certain amount of days off or that i don’t work cashier anymore that would be better. Right now i feel powerless because i need every second of pay i can get but if i have a different source of income even if smaller maybe i will feel more empowered to ask for things to make my life better.

I haven’t fully given up on leaving. I am just greatly discouraged with my failure to find a decent job rn :( I am mentally ill in a major way and the constant feeling of failure is um. Taking a toll! I am going to a psychiatrist next week and i’m hoping maybe getting on antidepressants will help me even though i’m also worried about how antidepressants can make you feel worse at first. Everything feels hopeless like i am supposed to work forever and never make enough money to enjoy anything in life and it sucks so bad. Hopefully the psychiatrist will open the pathway up to other things like therapy and stuff. It’s so hard to be trying to fix my life and also living in a pandemic and in my mid twenties and transitioning and the country is on fire and like every major event in the last decade. My current job is the longest i’ve stayed at a job. and it’s only 7 months. I’m scared i’ll always have a ticking timer on my head for how long i can stand to do something and it will never be long enough to make anything of it. I’m scared i’ll work shitty retail jobs the rest of my life and never get vacations and retirement and my passions. I’m scared I’ll get more depressed than i am now or than i have ever even been. I’m scared the pandemic will never end and that the government will turn the country to the sea and that all the kind people are gone. I feel powerless to change even the smallest aspects of my life right now and its paralyzing and horrifying and exhausting. I just want to take back some control of my future and my present. I want to enjoy my days off and see my friend’s sometimes. I want to go to the ocean.

Thanks for reading this far. I hope we’ll be ok.

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 9- Last Name (Wayne)

ok, so, if youve paid attention, the you know that i can’t write dialouge for the life of me lol.so today…i bring you dialouge in the form of texting :)

Marinette didn’t make a big deal about who her father was. Of course, when she had just met the man, she had relied on her friends to help her navigate the tricky situation. Since then, the teen had gotten good at only saying what she needed to. Chloe knew. Nino knew. Kim ands Alix knew. Max knew. They all knew and didn’t bring it up. They knew that she had processed it and moved on. To her, Bruce Wayne was just her father. She didn’t talk about the money, or all the work her father did. Marinette made a point to just be herself, and not worry about what names were attached.

At school, of course, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. On her ID? On her ID, she was Marinette Cheng-Wayne. Only those who needed to know knew. That how Marinette liked to keep it, at least, if she could help it.

When Marinette was 14, a new girl joined her class. The girl was sweet, if a little delicate. She said she had a lot of different injuries and conditions, but who was Marinette to judge? When the girl started to cling to one of the boys, Adrien, Marinette got a little worried. It wasn’t the end of the world, if he had offered to help, but he looked uncomfortable. When she mentioned this to Chloe, the girl had snarled. “That leech has been worming her way into his head. If you could hear what Gabriel was telling him to do- “her friend shook her head. “If I step in, want to help?” Marinette felt a smile crawl its way onto her face.

“gladly.”

Over the next few weeks, the girls watched what their new classmate, Lila, did. By that point, Nino had brought up his own concerns at fit far too well with theirs. Finally, Chloe decided it was time to take action. The blond stormed into the class and settled into her seat with a scowl. When Sabrina hurried over to join her, Chloe shook her head. Marinette took pity on the redhead and tugged the girl to the back of the class with her, whispering a quiet “watch”. When Nino and Adrien came in, Nino made his to the back, where he plopped down next to Kim. Alix and Max sat across the aisle, and all of them were ready for the explosion that was bound to happen. As Lila and Alya slipped in together, chatting and giggling over some story, the others exchanged glances. They had all been pretty close for years. Because of that, it was hard for others to join their group. The newest addition was Sabrina, and that was only because of her tendency to hang around Chloe. A ding on Kim’s phone drew the groups attention, making them all glance down at their own phones. In the group chat, Alix had sent a video linked to the LadyBlog.

Alix: saw this, this AM. Might be worth looking into. (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled The Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Mari: wtf

Mari: what is she trying to do

Mari: her ass will get lawyered so fast

Max: she obviously hasn’t thought this through

Kim: is she claiming to know them????

Chlo: oml

Chlo: SLANDER

Chlo: please Mari, please tell me that she doesn’t know your family?

Mari: I mean

Mari: she might? But I think her family name would have come up when Tim and I were planning world domination if she did.

Max:!

Mari: don’t worry, its been put on the back burner. Dad has a new kid that keeps trying to stab Tim w/ a Katana lol.

Nino: Mari, aren’t you supposed to go visit soon? Maybe you should just stay here, dudette.

Chlo: ITS SHOWTIME

The friends hurriedly stowed their phones away and returned their gazes to the front of the room where Lila had approached a confused Adrien. The boy had been deposited next to Chloe in the first row, confusion evident in his green eyes. The Italian girl leaned over the desk, trying to garner as much attention as possible. “Adrien, why don’t you come sit with me? I was hoping you could help me keep up with the lesson.” The dangerous flash of her eyes was so fast that most would have missed it. Marinette narrowed her eyes in suspicion. It looked like Chloe hadn’t been exaggerating about what was going on behind the scenes. Moving before things could get out of hand, Marinette skipped down to the desk.

“I can help, Lila! Literature is one of my favorite subjects!” the anger that glowed behind Lila’s eyes was worrying, but Marinette wasn’t worried. She grabbed the other girl by her elbow and tugged her towards the seat the brunette usually occupied. “I’m sure that Alya wouldn’t mind sitting next to Sabrina!” as Marinette settled into the new seat, Lila folded herself onto the bench and pulled out her notebook, shunning her new seatmate. As Marinette got her own supplies ready, she mentally prepared herself for an hour of clod anger directed at her.

After the bell rang, Marinette slowly started to collect her things. The girl next to her was moving faster than the noirette expected. For a girl who was supposed to a wrist injury, Lila sure wasn’t trying to avoid the pain. Shaking her head, Marinette finished collecting her stuff and went to join Chloe where she was waiting at the door. As they linked arms, Marinette realized that there was a sharp voice behind her, crying. “Oh Alya, it was awful! Marinette wouldn’t answer any of my questions, and told me that if I didn’t understand it, I should keep my mouth shut!” Chloe sniggered next to her and strode away towards the lockers, pulling Marinette with her.

“Honestly, Mari? I wish you had told the brat to shut up, maybe then she would be scared of you.” Marinette rolled her eyes at her best friend.

“your only scared of me, because you’ve seen me with Tim, and know that we already are on the path to world domination.” Chloe shook her head and closed her locked with a soft thud.

“Mari, you are worse than all of your brothers, simply because you don’t use your fathers name to back you up. If you did that, then you would have the same royal brat rep I do.”

Chlo: so, is anyone going to put a stop to the liar’s yapping?

Adrien: wait what? Chloe, who are the other numbers?

Chlo: Adrien, please.

Chlo: do you really not have these numbers saved already?

Nino: yeah dude, that’s a little mean

Mari: lol yeah, I’m insulted, Adrien!

Adrien: Wait, Nino?

Adrien: who…is in this chat?

Alix: Me!

Max: Markov and myself

Kim: and me, man

Adrien: that…doesn’t help.

Chlo: oh honesty!

Chlo: you idiot, its Mari, Nino, Max, Alix, and Kim.

Chlo: you are Ridiculous

Chlo: UTTERLY RICICULOUS!

Mari: Chloe, chill. I don’t think he’s been in one of our…unique chats before.

Max: affirmative. Adrien usually spends time with Nino, Alya, and Lila if he isn’t with Chloe and Sabrina

Chlo: back to the topic at hand!

Chlo: the brat has to stop

Mari: I mean…she hasn’t done anything we can stop her with yet.

Nino: we need solid proof

Alix: are we just going to forget this AM? (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled the Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Adrien: is someone going to tell me what’s going on?

Mari: we can’t drag them into this, Alix. it’ll make it worse, not better.

Alix: M, are you sure? we could shut her up real fast. Your fam, mine, Chloe’s?

Max: theoretically, it would be the path of least resistance.

Mari: THEY ARE A LAST RESORT

Mari: I AM NOT LETTING JASON MOCK ME FOR THIS

Mari: bc that ass totally will.

Adrien: ok, but what’s going on?

Max: Lila is trying to use you to catapult herself to fame

Kim: haha yeah, its not going to work if we have anything to say about it.

Chlo: also, very happy Mari never brought Alya into the fold

Mari: fuck no

Mari: do you see the way that girl doesn’t research anything. She latches on and never lets go.

Nino: so, you’ve said, Mari. I still think your over exaggerating on that one, lol

Mari: lmfao

Mari: Nino, she thinks I have a crush on ADRIEN of all people.

Mari: sorry, Adrien, bc you’re my friend? But she latched onto something and won’t let it go

Alix: shit I remember that. She tried to get us to set the two of you up. Those plans SUCKED.

Mari: remember how I kept sabotaging them lol? She just thought that fate was against her

Max: logically, shouldn’t that be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be?

Mari: haha I wish. After that, she tried to set me up with Chat Noir.

Chlo: WAIT

Chlo: that’s what Lady Wi-Fi was about?

Mari: yesssssssss

Adrien: um…should I be concerned about this?

Kim: I mean…no? its normal at this point.

Max: Chloe, plan #3 might work for taking down Lila? We wouldn’t need Mari’s family to join in if we do that.

Mari: if that fails, I’ll call Tim.

Mari: but ONLY if #3 fails, and we can’t make say…#5 work.

Chlo: you got yourself a deal, Marinette.

When the group entered the classroom together the next day, Chloe and Marinette were chattering excitably together. Adrien and Nino were talking about something on his phone while Max was keeping sore for whatever competition Kim and Alix had going on. When Lila approached Adrien and tugged him over to her seat, the others tracked her movement wordlessly.

When Alya came in and found them watching, she smirked at them. “those two make a cute couple, don’t they? Lila was practically glowing earlier when she was talking about the date they went on last night.” The friends exchanged telling glances but otherwise brushed the girl off as they dispersed to their seats. As she made her way to the seat she had claimed at the back at the beginning of the year, Marinette paused by Lila’s desk.

“Lila, do you need help again today? I know that the topics we’re covering are a little difficult if you’re not familiar with them.” The brunette scowled up at her.

“sorry, Marinette, but you can’t really keep up with the help I need.” The smaller girl shrugged.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way, Lila. If you ever need help, feel free to ask.” as she made her way to her seat, Marinette could hear Lila say loudly

“She’s just jealous that I have connections like the Wayne’s and Jagged stone and she’s just a little miss nobody.”

Mari: fuck it, it’s on bitch. I’m calling Jagged and Clara. These are slander charges now.

Chlo: should I expect your family’s lawyers too?

Mari: hell no. Tim is a last resort.

Mari: dad’s friend tho? THEY are defiantly going to be getting a few phone calls.

Mari: hey Jagged, Penny. I have just a tiny question.

Penny: Marinette! We were getting ready to contact you! What’s going on?

Mari: what kind of slander would be bad enough to sue over?

Penny: why?

Mari: this (voice file attached. Label reads SeNd To JaGgEd ASAP)

Jagged: little lady…where did you get this?

Mari: I recorded it during class today

Jagged: this liar is your age?

Penny: Marinette, would you mind if I send this to our lawyers?

Mari: go right ahead.

Tim: so…

Tim: would you like to explain why Jagged Stone is ranting to B in the entryway about a “little lying brat” who is in his “favorite niece’s class?”

Mari: wat

Mari: idk what you’re talking about

Tim: Little Bit, you can’t possibly think he hasn’t name dropped you yet.

Mari: WHAT.

Mari: fuck

Tim: ummmmmm

Tim: WHEN DID YOU START CUSSING?

Mari: tim. Please remember who my brothers are.

Tim: OH neverminded

Tim: why didn’t you get me involved?

Mari: theres no reason for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to know the Wayne fam

Mari: also, we wanted to use #3 and #5 first. If they didn’t work (they are) we were going to rain fire lolz.

Tim: fine. When your ready for the power that comes with the name, lmk

Tim: aslo, I insist on being included in the planning.

Mari: also*

Tim: fuck off

Tim: I wan to be ready for whatever damage control might be needed with the press

Tim: also, I live the kind of chaos that you and Chloe create together lolz

When Adrien turned to Marinette during lunch that day, there was clear confusion in his eyes. “Mari?”

“what’s up, Adrien?”

“who was that guy…Tim? That Chloe kept mentioning?”

“oh? She didn’t tell you?” the blond shook his head, looking worried. Marinette smiled ruefully and sighed.

“he’s my older brother on my father’s side.” When Adrien furrowed his brow, Marinette elaborated. “My father lives in the United States and runs a big corporation. He spends a bit of time in the limelight, but he keeps us all out of the press.”

“the…Dupain family?” Marinette laughed before smoothing over her friend’s confusion.

“no, Tom is my dad, but Bruce is my Father. He lives on the east coast, and I spend most holidays and breaks with my siblings over there.” Adrien nodded and smiled at her.

“I guess that makes sense. Its really cool at you get to spend your time with both sides of your family like that. What is your father’s last name then? I don’t think I’ve heard it.” Marinette winced.

“My father’s last name is Wayne. Anywhere except school, I use the name Marinette Cheng-Wayne.”

ok, thats a wrap. for once, this could be read by itself with almost no context. this will fit intothe overall storyline, but i had to go back and set the stage (this) for when Mari is 15. here, its the begining of the school year that she turns 15. (her b-day is in April bc i want to mess wiht cannon even more than i already do.)

[mousemilf]

I don't know how badly you need this job but if they mentioned appearance several times and even stated they're firing someone because of their appearance (which depending on the situation might not even be legal) and specifically told you you have to look really good all the time, they're either implying that however you looked today is already not quite right OR that they expect you to go to that much trouble every day. You can count on many overt or subtle criticisms of your appearance in this job.

yeah i need it very very badly lmaoooooo...... i wish i didnt have to compromise but the schedule and commute are a lot more important to me than my hangups abt the dresscode and i already quit my job i had for like 2 weeks bcs my circulatory issue bullshit made it like very physically painful. which im tryna get figured out. but the job i just quit came with undue focus on my appearance too...... it sucks but my options are pretty limited since im so physically inept. id love to work at another bakery but the only ones hiring rn that pay enough are really far away... 

also she said that was only part of the issue w the dude shes gonna fire and when i asked what she meant she clarified that he was out of dress code all the time.. but then when i asked abt the dress code she went on for quite a while very vaguely so im worried abt it being so vague... but like if it wasnt so vague ig its normal to fire someone for repeatedly breaking dress code if theyre having other problems too. idk. i kno im definitely not gonna fit in there but like i need a job lmao. 

theres a regular schedule w a three-day weekend (!!) and they might offer 14 an hour and its 6 mins away from my apartment. i wore a blazer and heeled boots to the interview and didnt really do anything w my hair and she said i looked cute so im hoping thats the extent of it bcs id b basically ok w that. i dont mind dressing nice to work i just dont want to have to b like super girly abt it u kno. but even if it was a major issue i dont have really any choice LOL

sorry to ramble. 

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

[ikiruwill]

ok, but what does shinji actually think of his eva? personally, but also aesthetically

OHH omg?? 😭 thank you for asking this, amazing surprise!! mhajsjsj I ended up writing something verrrry long bc my brain kept throwing info at me, so now this a meta I guess rip

For Shinji’s personal thoughts / relationship with Unit-01, there’s extra long detail mainly of Ep1 bc of first impressions / context ( then I’ll try to summarize ). Insight into some tiny details like Shinji’s unspoken thoughts that were maybe missed:

Shinji’s early and personal impressions of Unit-01 is mostly fear if we’re summing things up. The very first scene with it is even a jump scare to emphasize that:

The frame is black, and then after the lights turn on, boom, this:

A GIANT FACE WITH MONSTER EYES THAT GLOW YES I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU NOW SON ( with bby framed right in the middle so you know how tiny he is in comparison / and narratively, that he’s also the subject of focus )

.... can confirm scare. Plz no

Much fear. But even before this scene, it’s great to remember that Shinji is already terrified bc he saw Fourth Angel-kun AKA Sachiel wrecking havoc outside, understandably freaked out by its monster appearance / how it was shooting down military planes like they were pieces of paper. Shinji was also directly caught in that earlier crossfire and legit could’ve died just bc everything happening was too close for comfort until Misato finally shows up in her car to pick him up. Best uber But after that they get caught in a huge N2 mine explosion that hits Sachiel dead on but it comes out with barely a scratch / casually just regrows a head or something. Sachiel seems invincible to Shinji by this point and that fact already scares him— as it should.

But back to the Unit-01 scene: as far as Shinji can remember, he’s never seen an Eva or heard of one and he lets everyone know this once Gendo starts pressuring him to pilot it and do the thing to save the world right now plz or else everyone in city dead including Shinji-kun gg

Ofc to Shinji, it’s not a good feeling at all, he’s running through all the sudden facts : Unit-01 is manmade, looks powerful, and it’s supposed to protect us. It isn’t an Angel destroying the city and nonchalantly killing things of military force so there’s no need to hide and run from it— but it’s still alien to me and scary and now my impression of it is even worse because my estranged father and adult strangers are forcing me to get comfortable with it immediately to fight the ‘Angel’ I saw earlier. So I might die after all today.

Fear of death on top of feeling useless / cowardly / abandoned etc is a lot. Then injured Rei scene AKA Gendo’s master guilt tripping plan happens, and it works, but this is also where his impression of Unit-01 changes for the better : There’s a huge tremor, Rei falls off her stretcher, and giant debris is coming down from the ceiling right above her Shinji—

Unit-01 moves on its own does a giant good thing

So this part : It saved him? This robot that he’s only had bad feelings about so far? Shinji is confused af but now feels a strangely positive connection to Unit-01, one he probably can’t put into words, but it ultimately influences his decision on not to run away. bc now it finally feels like there’ll be at least something on his side if he agrees to do this— AKA Unit-01 is the literal “something that can protect / help him”, which we all know is a concept Shinji desperately wants and chases. In this terrifying mess, it’s encouraging to him. And then Shinji says the thing:

Brave bby ( it’s nice to know that he ends up saving Rei again a few eps later, shamelessly serious and gallant / heroic Shinji is underrated don’t @ me )

Fast forward : after that he gets in, syncs perfectly with it, fights Sachiel but almost dies bc he missteps once, starts to panic, but mainly bc he’s never had any proper training prior gg NERV. Unit-01 goes berserk, violently kicks Sachiel’s ass, scares the living hell out of everyone watching etc.

At the end of Ep 2, after Shinji wakes up in the hospital and moves in with Misato, he remembers everything that night, traumatized:

The blood has settled, an already freaked out Shinji turns to see Unit-01 without its cool sci-fi unicorn headplate thing that it shed earlier in battle:

Oh.

Oh.

It’s once again looking straight at him. Oh no this is much scarier than the first time plz no I want the yellow sci-fi Spiderman mask eyes back

Then Shinji understandably screams his lungs out ( and that’s when he probably fell unconscious? ) So now he’s back to fearing Unit-01 bc his Eva is a beast of a robot, on top of now having PTSD from the fight with Sachiel. Unit-01 protected Shinji twice now by going berserk, sure, but it’s also extremely unknown and frightening to him after in ways he couldn’t have expected when he first saw it— the primal kind of fear. ( side note: Primal fear, primal wants, and primal feelings, primal anything in general are a big thematic thing in nge, so it really lingers and comes back even harder in eoe )

Finally for the rest of his personal thoughts on Unit-01, badly summarized bc this is already 2 fucking long thank you to whoever’s still reading LMAOO: Shinji eventually gets used to piloting and tries to push the existential fear of his Eva to the back of his mind, mostly. He always wonders what it is exactly, once admitting that he really doesn’t know anything about Evas while peering into his NERV manual episodes later ( bc NERV is weird about everything and he’s too scared anyone ask past a certain point, ect ). Shinji thinks his Eva smells / feels weirdly calming to him inside despite being scary, but only when his life isn’t in violent danger. Things only suck whenever Unit-01 goes berserk / he loses control somehow / when he finds out certain truths about it. Youknow

On his opinions about Unit-01 aesthetically, I don’t think Shinji has any preferences that make him go ‘YES I totally vibe with this neon genesis green and purple it’s so me’ or anything, he’s just not caught up in the awesome looking giant robot idea at all ( Unlike Kensuke and Asuka ). For example his reaction was just ‘huh? oh... ok. I see?’ at Asuka when they first met when she was showing off shiny and red Unit-02 to him ( which is cool and cooler with a cape ). If you tell Shinji his giant robot is awesome and that you’re in love with the purple paint job, other than demurely acknowledge your praise, he might try to thank you surface level, very awkwardly bc he can’t take credit for that ( also will 1000/10 think that you remind him of Kensuke depending on who’s more intense LOL )

Confused and serious, I guess that’s Shinji’s attitude towards Evas in general ( minus when he’s not freaking out mhajsja ) and it fits the rest of his mild / boring / unassuming personality— like Kaji and Kaworu both said to his face, he can be clueless about his own position as a pilot and how it affects everyone around him. Like the random girls in his class, lots of people think Shinji’s cool for what he gets to do but to him it’s just a thing he has to do, for the most part.

On a sadder note, makes sense bc the only time we see Shinji enjoying something as a hobby is when he’s playing the cello and smiling, even then he just downplays his talent when asked. I think he would be a lot more passionate about music if his circumstances were better. That probably contributes to why he doesn’t care much about Evas in an aesthetic way either. But I think eventually, he’d come to prefer his own Eva just because of how familiar it would look and feel to him, plus his past experiences with it. Many ones.

Unrelated bonus note!! It’s interesting that Unit-01 is the only Eva with a completely different colour scheme when compared to its respective pilot’s plugsuit— in this case, Shinji’s plugsuit being blue and white instead ( as a side note Unit-13 is also purple and green but Shinji and Kaworu’s plugsuits match this time ) But why purple huh? My guess is that aside from wanting the main character’s giant robot to also stand out bc it’s special and awesome, Yui also wears a purple shirt in one of the later episodes showing a long flashback. That screencap stuck with me, idk why. Purple shirt confirmed in nge holy shit mind blown LOL jk in all seriousness we can only speculate. Maybe Yui’s fav colour was purple and Gendo decided to pay tribute to that when they made the Evas. Whatever headcanon hurts us more!

[adamsvanrhijn]

If you’re still doing the directors cut, would you be willing to do “strange how I fit into you (there's a distance erased with the greatest of ease)” from “York , October 1933” to as far as you want since it’s a long passage? Thanks!

moroh boy oh boy oh boy

ok wel it IS a long passage, so we’ll see how much i get through!

strange how I fit into you (there's a distance erased with the greatest of ease) by smithens

under cut for discussion of suicide + length

York, October 1933

so i chose october to be the Rough Month mostly because octobers i think... can be pretty rough? it’s the middle of autumn and things are starting to really turn colder and grayer, so the seasonal element hits harder, and that’s a factor here for thomas... an extrapolation from canon but not one that i think requires mental gymnastics.

The door creaks on its hinges as it shuts.

Before Thomas can think about what this means for him — all those lies he'll have to keep up with, more stories to get straight, it's never ending and he's just so tired — the bed is shifting underneath him and there's something (Mrs Ellis's knitted Afghan, or Miss Baxter's quilt) (no, there's yarn on his cheek, it's the Afghan) more round his shoulders.

Not just the blanket.

"What'd you need?" Richard murmurs. He is very, very close. "What can I do?"

one sensory element of being up to your eyeballs in depression & brainfog.... everything is hypersensitive but also you’re not entirely aware at the same time, so everything that happens to your body prompts another little mental loop that you’re too exhausted to deal with... that’s what’s going on here

richard could be better at being comforting; he second guesses himself... wants to get it right but the stakes are high if he doesn’t, so he errs on the side of caution and ends up overwhelming him more by making another Decision, although he does figure it out eventually

Thomas shakes his head. Tears prick at his eyes again, but he keeps them shut tight — seeing is the only thing he can put a stopper in, no matter what he'll still have to hear and feel things. No matter how much he wishes otherwise. Not much to see even if he wanted, though, it's the sun's just about gone down and he didn't bother to turn on a lamp before. Dark and cold, even with the curtains open. The days just keep getting shorter; working nights doesn't help. Maybe if it were summer…

more of the seasonal element; more of the sensory element

thomas in this scene is pretty high up on the suicidality scale (i’m leaving what happened before this starts up to interpretation bc that’s an important part of the scene) but he has come down a little now that richard is present. the headspace he is in here is more “i want to go to sleep and never wake up” rather than planning/desiring to actually kill himself, and he’s thinking Around it but not actually getting sucked in again, which is good but still a difficult and exhausting mental position to be in

"What can I do, Thomas," says Richard into his ear. He lies down behind him all the way and slings his arm across Thomas's chest, and the weight of it is soothing as much as it is suffocating.

He wishes he had it easier. That he could only feel one of those things at a time.

He wishes all of this were easier.

"What's happened? Has something happened you've not told me about?"

more richard not entirely Getting it... i think a big part of his character in this is he’s an answers guy, he tends to follow patterns, and as this richard has never been depressed he associates Sadness and Despair with something happening, whereas for thomas it’s almost the opposite where it’s associated more with inertia and malaise, everything’s bad and it’s all blending together, so thomas can’t exactly answer the question properly because while he did have a switch over he can’t pinpoint it, but he’s aware of his mental state as well as that richard doesn’t entirely understand it and that awareness doesn’t help him very much here

also i think spooning can be a very good comfort position so in this verse it’s a coupley thing that they do... the big spoon gets to be the comforter and the little spoon is the comforted

He shakes his head.

Richard takes his mangled hand out from under the blanket and holds it, squeezing tight. It makes his third and fourth fingers cramp, but that's something to feel that isn't dull and numb and nothing, so he doesn't mind it.

He does mind when Richard's thumb traces up on the inside of his wrist.

"Don't," Thomas chokes out.

He lets go.

"If," Richard starts, "if I hadn't come home when I did…"

richard is thinking what if and his actions are betraying that before his words are; thomas doesn’t like that it’s being drawn attention to

he strongly dislikes being vulnerable and finds it very viscerally uncomfortable even with richard, who is the only person he allows to get this close to him anyway

"But you did."

"Yeah," he says after a moment. "Yeah, I did, I – God, Thomas," and he buries his face into his back and shoulder and tugs him tighter with his arm, breathing heavily. "Oh, Thomas."

"It's too hard," Thomas whispers.

A small kiss at the nape of his neck, beneath his ear, at the corner of his jaw.

He barely feels them.

"I wish it weren't."

"I can't."

"I know."

desensitized! this is also when it finally clicks for richard what thomas’s needs here actually are and what the situation is at this point

It's Tuesday. Eventually they get out of bed. When he thinks Thomas isn't paying attention Richard jams the door latches and takes the shaving kits out of the washroom, rearranges the cupboards in the kitchen. Apparently he can't even be trusted in his own home.

the day of the week is brought up in the first four scenes of this fic (monday > friday/saturday > sunday > tuesday) because the anchor of the fic is domestic chores & the process of doing laundry; in this time period there was still an established order to doing this that like, both their mothers and every other woman they know would have followed (which is why it works for richard’s sister to do theirs for them in the first scene) and that thomas implements, so that’s the structure here. tuesday or wednesday is pressing & steaming.

thomas is attributing a sneaky element to richard’s actions here that doesn’t actually exist. richard is fully aware that thomas is paying attention when he does these things because he’s not taking his eye off of him for a second; thomas is in a frame of mind where he thinks that richard will assume, based on him being catatonic, that he is not paying attention, and thus will not pay him any in turn, because that is his experience when he is depressed... but that’s not how richard is, nor how their relationship is

richard is following best practices here but it’s the sort of best practices that makes the suicidal person feel like shit, lmao. eliminate opportunities for privacy + remove methods, “rearranges” is code for hiding/getting rid of poison and sharp things. also the shaving element in this & the companion piece is like a thinly veiled masculinity thing in addition to the mental health thing it also has

it is because richard knows, loves and trusts thomas that he is doing it, not because he doesn’t, but thomas isn’t in the right place to figure that out here

"You won't let me be useful," Thomas mumbles. He's seated on the floor at Richard's feet, a pathetic heap, wrapped in a blanket and with a mug of tea within reach, though he's let it go cold. The sofa is right there, and that's where he'd started, but sitting properly feels wrong, and he's not going to laze about in bed all evening. A few hours ago that was all he wanted. Things can change so quick sometimes.

sitting on the floor... the mood. he’s been there a little while, that’s what the tea is meant to indicate. he’s now conscious of himself and his surroundings enough that he’s back in to being Cognitive, analysing what is around him and what he wants. what he wants is to be useful and feel like he’s contributing, because he’s put a lot of his self-worth into that in the first months of them living together (they both have! it’s a source of conflict!) and now feels like that’s been taken away

one of the big parts of thomas’s canonical depression & suicide attempt is to do with him lacking a sense of purpose and feeling like he cannot contribute; in this scenario he feels that he has manufactured his contributions and he has tied his self-worth to them entirely. he’s very much given himself the impression, due to past experiences, the brain making patterns, that if he’s not useful (if he’s not perfect, in how he sets standards for himself) richard’s not going to want him around anymore. he thinks he’s made up his own worth basically and he expects richard to leave him / feels like he’s deceiving him, and that’s what prompts the spiral, it’s sort of about getting-it-over-with, and that’s also the element of his depression that contributes to the lack of sexual desire & interest that is referred to in the next scene of this fic as well as seen in richard’s pov in the companion piece... big feelings of fraud/imposter syndrome here

Richard doesn't look at him. Too busy pressing a collar. "You do this every week, Mr Barrow," he says. He only ever calls him that when he's flirting or trying to cheer him up or such like.

"And?"

pressing and steaming day! 

"And you might let me for a change," nonchalant in a careful sort of way. "You've just been burning the midnight oil a bit too often…"

"I've been working at midnight," mutters Thomas. They're short of staff: more nights for everybody. He had today off, and he'll have tomorrow off, and then he'll go in Thursday night and make himself useful somehow.

"You're not going back to work for seven to ten days," Richard says sharply. He sets down the iron. It probably needs to be heated again but he won't leave Thomas alone to do it. That's all they need, is him doing a shoddy job of the ironing… "You're ill."’

"I'm not ill – "

"No use arguing about it," interrupts Richard. "Settled it when I telephoned, wasn't even my suggestion."

Flu Lie.... richard telephoned thomas’s job

the iron is made of metal (iron!) and has to be manually heated to work

thomas’s concern about their household is still present even in the circumstances...

ok i’m getting sleepy i’ll publish this now bc you can’t really save asks as drafts properly and then i’ll get to the rest like, tomorrow lol

"Because you lied…"

"Thomas, you and I lie every day of our lives – "

He stops talking at the first sniffle. Somehow he manages to sit even after Thomas has slumped over with his head against his calves; he wraps his arms around him and takes his head into his shoulder. Thomas doesn't know whether he should feel guilty for allowing him to sit on the floor like he is or thankful that he wants to or both. "I'll take the week off, too."

"We can't afford – "

"We've got family," Richard says softly. We, he says, not I. "They'll look after things. That's what they're for, isn't it?"

"You can't quit everything for just me," Thomas says, hoarse. He's not sobbing; he doesn't have the energy for it. But he's not dry-eyed either.

"I can," he returns. "And I'm going to, Thomas."

"Why," he mumbles, "why, why, why," over and over, because that's the only question he's got in his head left to ask. He's not even sure he wants the answer.

"Because that's what I'm for," still so soft, when Thomas doesn't deserve that at all, "that's what I'm here for, love."

"'m not worth it."

Richard doesn't bother arguing with him. "I love you," he says. They don't say it very often; Thomas doesn't deserve him saying it now. "God, I love you."

"You shouldn't."

"But I do," breathes Richard, clutching him close. Nobody's ever held him like this before and especially not when he's feeling the way he is now. Somehow that registers for him. "I do," reassuring. "Fuck, I should've noticed – "

"Didn't want you to."

"I know, Thomas." He kisses his temple. "I know."

[moanbyul-yi]

k so @byulyi dared me to do all the flowers from this and my dumbass thought it was a great idea to accept the dare but my dumbass also fucked up and basically deleted the ask so here it is in a post lmao buckle up bitch!! (u really dont have to read it if u dont want its sm longer than i thought it would be) 

amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of. proud of my ability to find the shittiest and worst tv shows/movies and watch them religiously lmao

anemone - describe a time when you felt abandoned or betrayed by someone you loved. back in yr 8??9?? i had a super close friend (that i was also in love with but i didnt realise bc of compulsive heterosexuality) that randomly cut off ties with me and yike it sucked 

azalea - would you describe yourself as a patient person? in terms of simple things like waiting on a package no lmao but if its waiting for a person or smthn like ykno that deep shit then yeah 

begonia - describe anything you see as a “red flag” (something that makes you cautious about a new friend or love interest) straight up if theyre an asshole,, if they say something homophobic/racist/sexist etc just if theyre not accepting and nice to all people 

bird of paradise - do you like hosting parties, or do you prefer to just attend? i love hosting!!!!!!! i love making sure everyones havin a lit time and organising all the stuff 

bluebell - what keeps you humble? tbh idk how to answer this question just bc ig im not really in a position where i have stuff to flex so like i dont have a lot to be humble about ?? in terms of like achievements n shit 

chysanthemum - describe your idea of a perfect day.  this is kinda gay but honestly just a day i get to spend chilling with my girl whether we go out or just stay home and binge movies all day whatever it is,, just to have a chill day with her with no ‘you have to be doing this!!!!!!’ feeling 

spring crocus - describe your favourite childhood memory. the first one that comes to mind is me and my cousin when we were like 5yo running around the house with a cape on pretending we were superheroes

daffodil - how do you confess your feelings to someone you’re interested in? ive only done it twice, the first time was a complete Mess and the second time they initiated it so idk lol i wing it ig 

daisy - describe something that gives you hope when things seem bleak. honestly idk bc im the kinda person that just wallows in their sadboi but i guess something that helps is just talking to people esp my gf about whatever it is thats sucky

foxglove - when was the last time you told a lie? i told my parents i was going to the city for lunch with a friend today but i went to a dance class for love shot by exo lmao 

gardenia - have you ever had to keep a romance a secret? if so, why and for how long?  yeah bc we were both not out - had to keep it a secret from p much everyone other than a few friends the entire time we were tgt 

purple hyacinth - describe a time when you had to apologize to someone last year,, i had a fight(??) with my friend and yeah 

hydrangea - how much time do you spend on your appearance each day? not a lot i always look like a Mess 

white jasmine - what is something that never fails to make you laugh? !!!!!!!mamamoo !!!!!! 

lavender -  describe your oldest friendship, and why you think it has lasted so long. i have a primary sch friend and we’ve been friends sort of since kindy but properly for like 8 years???? its the kinda friendship where we dont have to talk often but we can hit each other up whenever and it isnt weird its just chill and gucci ( @akicchisano luv u binch no homo)

lilac - describe your first relationship or first love. yeet ok my first pROper rs?? lasted like a year and a half and it was a friend in high school,, uhh it was good while it lasted but im glad its over and i wouldnt go back lmao but it was definitely a learning experience 

calla lily - what traits do you find beautiful in others? in yourself? i guess imma be really typical and say kindness like the kindness in which u dont expect anything in return?? like the way people aim to make people happy and laugh and shit ykno (i just woke up soz this is terrible)

tiger lily - if you had to choose between doing what you love and making very little money, or doing a job you hate and making a lot of money, what would you choose and why? im assuming the very little money is still enough to get by?? but i would choose that just bc if i hated my job idk how long i would last in it but i dont think it would be very long at all. if i had people to provide for or something tho then definitely the second bc gotta get that dough for them 

lotus flower - would you say that you are a spiritual person? if so, what elements of spirituality are important to you? nah im not really  

magnolia - describe your favourite thing to do outdoors. probably just walking around ykno with nothing to do or maybe hiking?? sightseeing?? shit like that 

morning glory - are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection? very lmao if i like you romantically or platonically ill be v touchy and cuddly if u reciprocate it,, i also will give random gifts like stuff ive made or stuff that reminds me of that person just random small things 

pansy - what is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has done for you? idk if this is the mOSt thoughtful bc i have bad memory but that one time the mvp @akicchisano bought me a smol christmas tree bc i kept talking about how i wanted one but couldnt find one that shit got me busting the phattest uwus

peony - describe the top three things necessary for a happy life.  a sugar daddy,, good food,, girls

petunia - what never fails to make you angry? when people borrow shit and dont put it back how they found it >:(

red poppy - what tips or tricks do you use to cheer yourself up when you’re down? i go for a drive (i cant drive so i make my brother lmao) or i watch smthn funny just get my mind off it somehow

red rose - describe your ideal date or romantic evening.  shit idk about ideal but itd be really nice to maybe get dinner and go star gazing like somewhere far where theres less light pollution and hella stars and then after that just coming home to binge movies and cuddle

yellow rose - do you get jealous easily? sO easily its terrible but most of the time i dont do anything about it

snowdrop - have you ever had a falling out with a friend or family member? not in such a way thats resulted in us not ever talking again 

sunflower - do you consider yourself a loyal person?  ye,, ya girl aint no hoe

sweet pea - describe a difficult goodbye you had to make to a friend or other loved one. probably saying bye to all my family bc they came to visit and having to send them off opened up some real emo hours :((((

violet - how important is loyalty in friendships and/or relationships? v important bc u gotta have someone to rely on but it should be loyalty and not blindly following 

wisteria - do you like poetry? if so, describe your favorite poem(s). yeah i kinda just like random poetry theres a lot from an insta acc called poeticpoison that i really like

zinnia - do you have any loved ones in your life that you miss and wish you could see?  yeahh my gorlfriend and all my family since they all live in different countries

[thelifetimechannel]

ROSE: And it's been hanging over our heads the whole time. JAKE: Hold on a tick! JAKE: I may be a newcomer to all this cosmic mythology but i recall being informed that skaia was one of the good guys. ROSE: Informed by who? JAKE: Well... by our sprites and some of the carvings in the ruins and things like that. HALSPRITE: Everyone knows we game guides are completely trustworthy. DIRK: Wait, are you working for an even bigger bad? HALSPRITE: No. But there are certain things I can't say, or have to be party to. HALSPRITE: We've been over this, remember? HALSPRITE: My ectoplasm is still sore from your Emperor Palpatine tantrum. KANAYA: Skaia Controls The Narrative We Are Privy To KANAYA: Especially For Prospit Heroes Who Gain Glimpses In The Clouds During The Eclipse KANAYA: I Thought Those Images Were Random KANAYA: But JADE: but its pretty suspicious that it kept so much of the bad stuff from me! JADE: i might not have been so eager to play otherwise JADE: even if its not like we ever had a choice :/ JADE: and the other calliope said she had a hand in choosing those images soooo DAVE: i thought skaia "sees and knows" and couldnt do jack shit DAVE: howd we get from there to here JADE: we didnt know until today that skaia had a "cherub behind the curtain" :o CALLIOPE: after her speech i'm not sUre whether skaia reflects her will entirely or is only inspired by it. CALLIOPE: bUt it is not a neUtral actor. CALLIOPE: and she admitted to having a hand in the rUles of the game that broUght Us here. ROSE: Feferi mentioned the gods might have had something to do with it as well. ROSE: Aradia, do you know anything about that? ARADIA: i suspected something like it ARADIA: it made sense, considering derse dreamers role as emissaries to the noble circle and each incipispheres presence nestled within the furthest ring ARADIA: how they struck that deal or what it involved i dont know though DIRK: The point is, this game didn't come out of nowhere. DIRK: Someone had to make it. KANAYA: So To Clarify KANAYA: If The Other Cherub Is Skaia You Wish To Depose Her KANAYA: But If She Is The Consciousness Guiding Skaia You Would Replace Her Instead CALLIOPE: hold on. CALLIOPE: i don't trUst myself with that kind of responsibility. JANE: I'm not sure anyone should be! JAKE: Yes its like galadriel getting the ring! JOHN: if you don't make yourself the person in charge, but skaia has like... what did you call it? JOHN: a consciousness? JOHN: could you give it a conscience? KARKAT: HOLD UP. KARKAT: I KNOW ROSE ALREADY CAME TO ME PEDDLING THIS LATEST HERESY BUT I THINK IT OUGHT TO AT LEAST COME TO A VOTE. KARKAT: THIS COULD HAVE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, AND THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE. KARKAT: IF ANYONE DOESN'T WANT TO RISK THEIR LIVES FOR THIS, SPEAK NOW. JANE: Could we get a description of what this plan actually /is/? ROSE: We'll need to work the details out. KARKAT: SHE WANTS TO MEDDLE WITH THE GENESIS FROG'S DNA. KARKAT: LIKE THAT WENT SO WELL LAST TIME. DAVE: the tadpoles already flown the coop on that one DAVE: unless you want to send john all the way back to our breeding session JOHN: oh come on, i can't be the solution to EVERYONE'S problems. ROSE: I wasn't going to suggest that. ROSE: Once we have a better grasp of what we want to change, we have someone with an even better skillset for reshaping reality to our liking. CALLIOPE: my other self got Us into this mess. CALLIOPE: i don't know how exactly bUt it's only fitting i get Us oUt of it. ROXY: soooo ROXY: we need 2 come up w/ a world we like ARADIA: without breaking too much ARADIA: this system works for what its designed to do ARADIA: you cant abolish it entirely without some kind of replacement SOLLUX: she's saying maybe d0n't torch the place with0ut at least reading the manual. ROXY: so we gotta reverse engineer it ROXY: sounds like a plan 2 me JAKE: I could take another look at those carvings... JANE: /clears throat/ JANE: I think Karkat is right, we should have a show of hands. JANE: Everyone in favor of pursuing this? ROXY: this game sux ass ROXY: if i can stop more doomed ppl gettin axed just bc they were in the wrong place then im gonna do it ROXY: count me in DAVE: wait i thought english was the guy behind most of our doomed timelines DAVE: with his alpha timeline forcing everyone to make one set of decisions DAVE: didnt we beat him and get rid of that JAKE: I think its fair to say calliope did! CALLIOPE: ^U^ ARADIA: its true that his influence generated far more fruitless offshots than would exist otherwise ARADIA: and constricted our paths to prioritize a single narrative ARADIA: but timeline dooming is always a mechanism available to players ARADIA: and the game sets up certain loops on its own ROSE: Lord English isn't the one who sent meteors to destroy our planet. JOHN: no he isn't. JOHN: and that's not fair, that is not what any of us signed up for. JOHN: i've been rewriting rules all day, and this sounds like a great one to get rid of. JOHN: i'll help you guys out. DAVE: well then DAVE: might as well go two for two TEREZI: SK414S T4ST3S 4R3 DR4CON14N 3V3N FOR M3 TEREZI: WH4T K1ND OF JUST1C3 SO W4NTONLY T4RG3TS 1NNOC3NTS TEREZI: 1 WOULDNT M1ND T4K1NG 1T DOWN 4 P3G JADE: i dont know how long ill have my first guardian powers back, but im willing to use them JADE: no one should be treated like pawns no matter what your justification is ROSE: My anti-authoritarian streak is already common knowledge. ROSE: I guess they were right warning you away from dreamers from the wrong side of the tracks. ROSE: Derse is a hotbed for radicalism. DIRK: It must run in the family. DIRK: Why do away with a good tradition? HALSPRITE: There's no way I'd turn down an opportunity to fuck with a fundamental component of the universe. KANAYA: Creation Is Under My Jurisdiction KANAYA: But Creation Pursued At Any Cost Can Be Just As Destructive As Intentional Violence KANAYA: Maybe I Can Put My Inclinations To Pacify Dangerous Forces To Good Use JAKE: Im through with being shoved around! JAKE: If this will help some other people out there in the multiverse who might get saddled with all this games expectations then i think its our duty to try. JANE: What kind of Empress would I be if I didn't try to secure the best possible future for whoever comes after us? JANE: Besides, I've sat back in the face of tyranny long enough. NANNASPRITE: I have too. DAVESPRITE: my programming wont allow me to participate in this DAVESPRITE: nah im just fucking with you lets kill the suffering orb ARADIA: ive spent a long time doing things because they had to be done ARADIA: to fulfill some time loop or the will of the game ARADIA: it would be nice to make a momentous decision on my own for once CALLIOPE: my other self said i woUld never be a proper mUse, bUt i take issUe with her methods. CALLIOPE: i think it's proper to set them right. SOLLUX: i feel like i'm c0ming into this discussi0n missing a lot of c0ntext but if it means we'll get a move 0n, sure. SOLLUX: sgrub 0r skaia or whatever cosmic f0rce we're ganging up on can suck my bulge. TEREZI: COM3 ON K4RK4T YOU KNOW YOU W4NT TO KARKAT: I GUESS MY REVOLUTIONARY ANCESTOR WOULD BE ASHAMED OF ME OTHERWISE. KARKAT: EVEN IF HE WAS KIND OF A JACKASS. KARKAT: AND THIS GAME HAS BEEN PRETTY TERRIBLE. KARKAT: LET'S JUST TRY NOT TO GET ANYONE KILLED THIS TIME. KARKAT: OK, WE'VE ALL GOT OUR HANDS UP NOW. KARKAT: THIS STIRRING SHOW OF CAMARADERIE WILL MOVE THE HEAVENS. KARKAT: "LOOK, THEY HAVE THEIR HANDS RAISED! WE WERE WRONG. GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY ASK FOR, AND PASS ME THE TISSUES." KARKAT: GOOD JOB TEAM. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES.

====>

[ua-monoma]

[[ hi here’s a text convo me and dani were having during the iimono text convo woohoo feelings ]]

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:16 AM

iida's definition of alright is "im not completely hurting to the point where it is hard to do or think abt anything else"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:17 AM

THATS A BAD DEFINITION IIDA

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:17 AM

if he can do his duties without being hindered he's "alright"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:18 AM

like tbh monoma's big feels rn are like 

 1) i wanna communicate but it feels like iida doesnt actually communicate with me ever 

2) i wanna be honest but it feels like iida isnt being honest with me 

3) i've been opening up a lot which im! proud of!! i can face my emotions now! but iida isnt facing HIS emotions with me and i thought uHh being a couple means we do that together so i guess i'll go fuck myselfsdfskhdgbg

but ALSO from an outside perspective iida Does Communicate and Is Honest... way more than monoma perceives it but monoma sucks. at being able to identify it

A L S O he cant stand iida taking care of him so much sfhgbsfbhsg hes starting to feel rly coddled and he Does Not Like It

and thats largely just cuz hes so unstable and feels guilty about it now that hes more aware of it and wants to either just shut down and stop emoting around iida or, like, he wants to get to take care of iida if/when he ever breaks down cuz then it'll be Equals

kdfgdfhbdfgs i just had a hunch and it was right, monoma is actually older than iida sdfbjhgs

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:22 AM

WAIT HE IS

HES OLDER,

rickyLast Sunday at 4:27 AM

but yeah i think the other thing is that monoma wants stuff from iida but like has not been able to rly voice it (i feel like this is the first time he has ever talked like This Much about emotional bullshit) but also TBH he feels brushed aside every time iida gives him one of his lil speeches

cuz he doesnt respond very well to positivity and also will just latch onto the negative aspects

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:30 AM

WOW then u have iida whos just like "dude im not a fuckign mind reader tell me what u want"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:30 AM

WHICH I KNOW BUT HE'S WORKING ON IT.....

iida: communicate pls monoma: ok heres a big rambling post about stuff i feel iida: ok thats nice. can you communicate with me pls tho monoma: I JUST DID HSDFKGGBDFSG I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS--

^ is how he feels

also hes scared of the Boyfriend Conversation

which i think i've told you before, hes scared cuz of the sex addiction thing but also,

ppl keep coercing him to sex and he doesnt wanna date iida and then be coerced into Officially Cheating,,, pseudo cheating isnt acceptable either but at least like,,, hes Technically not betraying him,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:36 AM

THE RAMBLING THING isnt clear to iida bc its like yes that is how he feels but he is not telling me What He Wants From Me

rickyLast Sunday at 4:37 AM

YEAH thats what i noticed today +_+!!!

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

its like monoma is offering his stance but not a solution or a compromise

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

monoma doesnt rly know that's what he's supposed to do hjbsjfsg

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

does iida have to spell it out

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

y es

like, the last thing iida said kind of made monoma be like

wait lemme look at it again

ok he said he wanted to know the reasons behind his actions and monoma was like,,,,wha--

cuz... 1) theres like never actually a reason and 2) he didnt know iida wanted that from him

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:40 AM

H

rickyLast Sunday at 4:40 AM

like monoma barely even recognizes half his actions cuz theyre all based on impulses and tbh if nobody pointed them out he'll just move on like nothing's happened

like he compartmentalizes,,, s o much,,,,,, and then represses it like instantly like TBH

like barely anyone talks about monoma's growing alcoholism so he just keeps doing that, and no one has had the chance to tell him to stop communicating with villains so he kept doing that too but like. Because it wasnt pointed out he barely has a problem with it and can function fine

everyone harps on him for the sex stuff tho so he's just like Drowning In Guilt

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:44 AM

is there literally-- any way iida can actually help him because, i just , wow

rickyLast Sunday at 4:44 AM

sfjgkdfg 

iida: here's a list of questions to communicate with, pls answer monoma: dissociates instantly 

whOH YEAH DEFINITELYi know that sounds all depressing sjhsdfghthe fix is honestly super easy tbh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:45 AM

HE ASKED TWO WHOLE QUESTIO-jvhcfdjsjcxsdjhds

god im glad there is indeed a fix

rickyLast Sunday at 4:45 AM

I WAS TYPING UP MORE META I HAVENT GOTTEN TO IT YET

monoma's problem is literally just that he doesnt have the vocabulary for, like, anything

what he wants is an open relationship but he doesnt know what that is and TO BE QUITE FRANK his only knowledge of one is fucking sen and kosei

so like, he's only hesitating so much cuz he doesnt know how to voice what he wants cuz Tbh monoma hates not sounding smart and being emotive means bumbling around like an idiot

he still feels brushed off tho,

iida bls be sad around him more

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:02 AM

IIDA DOESNT LIKE BEING SAD

its weird for him

he always like

how do i put this

he takes his sadness, pisses on it, and sets it on fire

rickyLast Sunday at 5:02 AM

oh God i just realized iida is doing the same thing the guy i was gay for did FUCKMeJFBJHFBGDG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

oh he pissed on his  sadness too? worm

rickyLast Sunday at 5:03 AM

he did the 'im alright is actually crashing and burning in super slow motion for months at a time' thing

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

iida is hollow more often than he is sad

1JDCKCDSNHSDSNDSCJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:05 AM

meanwhile i had the loudly has breakdowns and then gets upset about being taken care of despite him insisting because of his Fetish for taking care of people thing

me: glares at iidas Fetish

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:06 AM

ok this is more of a hc but

iida likes taking care of ppl bc his parents rarely took care of him uwus

o hes like

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

CRIES

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:07 AM

being the Dad and Mom he never had

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

see that Sucks cuz my hc is that monoma was raised to be as self sufficient as possible as Fast as possible which meant wow we aint got time for emotions fam just Put Them In A Box

oh is the box overflowing, put the BOX in a BIGGER BOX

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

emotionally stunted boys sure are great

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

i k r

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

only in theory tho,

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

LOL

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

irl i wouldve just

choked them

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

sobs angrily about iida

share your emotions biiiiiiitchhhh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

hits the back of monoma's head

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

hEY

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

just tell him what u want u stupid fuckJCDFJDSSD

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

HE WANTS YOU TO SHARE HIS EMOTIONS HSFBGJHFGS HE SAID THAT!!!!AND IIDA WAS LIKE, NAH

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

IIDA ISNT RLLY THAT SURE OF HIS EMOTIONS EITHER THATS WHY!!!

HE THINKS HES THIS BUT HES ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE

rickyLast Sunday at 5:10 AM

THATS MONOMAS PROBLEM TOO YOU BUTT DFHBSDFGJGSG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

FUCK

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

OHMY

GODSTRANGLES THEM BOTH

IIMONO: FEELINGS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

w iida its more like. he knows deep down but he doesnt , think , its important enough , to be addressed

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

i i d a b l s

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

"as class rep i must be a leader before anything else!!!!!"

rickyLast Sunday at 5:12 AM

monoma is honestly like 'iida help this is the very first time in my life i have felt Guilt what am i supposed to do with this!!!!!!

iida: whats wrong monoma: IM SAD????  WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER TELL ME WHAT A CONSEQUENCE WAS iida: ,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:14 AM

JXVCDJXCDSAHJSDSDJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:15 AM

and t b h he kind of is like, automatically expecting like... a Reward for getting this far but iida just kind of keeps being like 'okay cool. and what else'

and monoma is like HJSFBKHBFGS THAT TOOK ME 3 WEEKS TO FIGURE OUT B L S

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:28 AM

fuckcdncnddxjsn

rickyLast Sunday at 5:28 AM

,,,, in person or continue the text

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:29 AM

CCCCONTINUE...they rarely text god pls

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

TBH YEAH...

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:30 AM

iida has no Time for his phone he needs to read 30 chapters ahead so he doesnt fall behind!!!

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

monoma is Traumatized by all their other text convos so he doesnt--

im including the times when i post this btw because God Damn i love that its likefucking 5am over here

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:31 AM

GO TO BED?

rickyLast Sunday at 5:31 AM

this is 500% a 'im sad texting my bitchass pseudo bae about my feelings at fucking sunrise after they kept me up crying all night' conversation

whats a bed

[neonstatic]

(transcripted convo)

i’m reposting a discussion i had w a terf. i previously posted screenshots but she messaged me and said she didn’t want her url or avatar displayed. editing the pics to post them again was hell so i’m posting a script instead (i learned my lesson tumblr: you suck). if anyone ends up finding the convo and thus the redacted speaker... idc. this is a public website and we technically had this convo in public - the notes of a post aren’t private spaces afaik. i’m posting this as proof that sometimes calmly reasoning with ppl lead to nothing. (i know anyone could say the same but lmao leave me alone.)

tw for transphobia/transmisogyny 

[redacted] (speaking to a transmasc discourser about the "woman path"): Ok let me explain what I mean :) if your experience was totally different then thats fine :) im 24 and when I was little i was encouraged to play with dolls and learn 'motherly things' like playing with baby dolls while my brother played with toy trucks. There was a lot of pressure at school to wear dresses, and be sweet and polite. @[transmasc discourser] then of course, learning to deal with periods and the shame and taboo around them. Removing body hair because its considered unladylike. Etc

@[transmasc discourser] have you had none of those experiences?

neonbaebae: these are all common experiences for women bc of gender roles/stereotypes but none of that defines womanhood as an identity.

[redacted]: completely agree they are gender roles. But menstruation isnt a gender role. Its a frustrating part of being female. But that said, what IS womanhood then?

(rest under cut)

neonbaebae: menstruation is a biological function that is in no way exclusive to female bodies. remember intersex ppl, who come in all forms and shapes. women aren't all the same and it's likewise for men. there are intersex women who don't fit all the criteria for being "female" yet still identify as women. there is a distinction to make between womanhood as an experience and womanhood as an identity.

the woman experience is what you've described. the woman identity is feeling like one, e.g.: liking female-coded clothes, makeup, hairstyles, feeling comfortable in the societal role of being a woman. identity is essentially abt self perception most of the time

[redacted]: intersex is unique and I respect that not all womens bodies are the same. Intersexuality is complex but it doesnt represent the majority of biological women. I dont have a strong baclground in intersex knowledge so I'm certainly not gonna speak on behalf of intersex women. so if identity is self perception (which I completely agree with) how can a biological man self perceive his femaleness.if he's never experienced it?

neonbaebae: trans women never identify with being male and all in entails. and they can see, thru watching women counterparts and how they interact with the world around them, that they id more w the idea of womanhood and much less w the idea of manhood. it's esp why dysphoria often settles around puberty bc the dissonance manifests physically and that's harder to handle

[redacted]: but what youre talking about is what trans women see women do.  If thats what someone aspires to, its a very basic and narrow understanding of  what womanhood is. Its only what they see. And people are far more complex than this. Does a biological male aspire to periods stigma, beauty conformity and lesser social stance in the world? Or do they aspire to femininity? Something many biological women dont feel comfortable with

neonbaebae: womanhood as an identity is a feeling that is strengthened by a disconnection to manhood, its polar opposite. someone who completely rejects the idea of being man is likely to prefer being a woman (not always but likely!). many trans women do aspire to femininity and it has nothing to do with the cis women who are uncomfortable w it, just like there are many cis women who embrace it too.

many trans women cannot quite explain their transition in another way than "being a man felt wrong but being a woman feels right and authentic to my true self". i'd suggest to ask an actual trans woman for her pov tho since i'm not one, i'm just basing myself on what i've heard them say

[redacted]: but feeling disconnected with manhood (which is understandable and gender roles are frustrating) doesnt make someone the opposite of a man. As society we need to open our understanding of gender expression. But this isnt the same as thinking 'if I dont feel like a conventional man or connect with male social expectations, then I must be the opposite'. Theres no logic in that

we live in a world where gender stereotype binaries are considered natural, and people who dont fit this understandably feel marginalised. In fact Id argue to a greater or lesser degree, none of us truly fit the prescribed gender binary.

but i find it problematic when a man thinks they're a woman based on what they think 'woman' is.

neonbaebae: you're right in saying that a disconnection from manhood doesn't make someone a woman - a connection to womanhood does. it has v little to do with the upbringing of women which you seem to define thru misogyny and menstruation alone which is frankly a pessimistic view of womanhood. it's less not feeling like a conventional man and more not feeling like a man At All. tru it doesn't sound logical but gender is not logical it's abstract and complex

it seems problematic bc one might think men would gain smth from iding as women but stats show that trans women are at higher risk of assault for being out and open, both of bc of misogyny (not directly related to having a vagina or menstruating after all) & transphobia. it's esp telling that trans men aren't targeted as much. do you disagree w trans men as well?

[redacted]: but as a women i dont connect with womanhood. Lol i am a women. It would be nice to think we live in a world where women are equal, but that's not the world we live in. Womanhood is hard. And we do live under a patriarchal society that's cultivated female inferiority over many centuries. We're still negotiating freedoms today.

Its not about gaining or loss. Its about the male right to self define womanhood on their terms, without the biological or social conditioning. In fact, many have recieved MALE conditioning as children. This comes with its own privileges.

I think transmale is a very different experience so no I categorise them very differently to transwomen

neonbaebae: "as a woman" you say. even if the experiences and stereotypes don't fit you perfectly, even if you reject it, you still id as a woman. you feel like one and you suffer the consequences of being one. believe it or not trans women suffer from iding as a woman as well and thrice as harshly. i can provide sources if you want.

trans women don't think like men bc they feel like women. the thought patterns are different. they don't digest the social messages abt men bc their mind doesn't relate to it. male entitlement and all doesn't apply to them. and in sociology alone womanhood is often defined as more than a biological or upbringing thing. it's a social identity and trans women have a right to it if they don't id and reject manhood altogether

my question tho was do you think trans men aren't men either cus otherwise that'd be hypocritical

[redacted]: my point is its not an identity. Its a reality. Im a woman. I have xx chromosomes and the world treats me as such. Similar to my race. I dont identify as my race, i am treated as the world sees me.

male entitlement does apply. Statistically baby boys are fed for longer than baby girls. And little girls are left to cry for longer than baby boys. Little girls learn many motherly caretaker roles while many of their male counterparts are encouraged to conquer the world. Children are raised by gender. Even subconsciously. I can also provide sources :)

there are many more male leaders and men in authoritive positions in the world. Women fight very hard for the same respect, but womens voices are less valued. It takes no genius to see men have greater standing in the world

about transmen. No I dont consider them men but I'll respectfully use the pronouns anyone prefers, male or female. Its common decency.

I think society needs to get more comfortable with non confirmative gender expression

neonboobear: but it is an identity. that's why there's a distinction between sex (bio) and gender (identity & expression). if it would feel wrong for you to be called a man or nonbinary then that'd be bc you don't id as such. (also there are women with chromosomes other than xx maybe you should avoid phrasing it that way.) i id as my race but race has v different roots & impact than gender historically and it cannot be compared. let's stick with gender.

and i'm not denying gendered socialization but it doesn't shape a child more than their personal feelings on their identity, which can differ v early in life bc (some) would rather engage in activities associated with the opposite gender for example. if it were that simple trans ppl wouldn't go at lengths to "play the part"

you're right society does need to accept gender non conformance but that's v different from the trans experience. i rly think you should have a deep conversation with a trans person to try and see their pov

[redacted]: if womanhood is an identity, it totally invalidates what it means to be female. And yes its arguable that there're are women who arent xx but how about the majority of the population that are. Must we pander to the few at the expense of the majority? also what makes you assume I dont talk to trans people? Critique doesnt mean lack of empathy.

Children and gendered socialization is complex. Maybe if 'feminine' activities werent coded as female and just 'childhood play' we wouldnt have the same degree of dysphoria. It goes back to the irrational logic, 'if I like the pink toy section then I must be a girl.'

neonboobear: i'm afraid that is your pov for the ideology that womanhood is an experience but also an identity is considered a v valid theory in the science field. the fact that there are women with chromosomes other than xx is proof alone that xx chromosomes aren't what makes a woman. and i've suggested a deep conversation and an intention to Understand the Other. not just a talk. i said nothing abt empathy.

there would be less dysphoria but i'm sure it's still be there. many think the abolition of gender would solve everything but i doubt so

[redacted]: i have a close mtf friend and we have the debate constantly. We don't always agree with her but there's a lot more common ground then you might expect :) Gender roles damn us all. Hmmmm... abolition of gender is impossible but theres is a lot that can be done to challenge gender expectations. But not an easy battle! neonbaebae: i mean this with the least offense okay but i sincerely think neither of you should be friends. i’m black and i’d never befriend a racist. that’s a lack of self respect on her part and a plain lack of respect on yours. 

i’d like to end this conversation here. i’ve said my point and i’d only repeat myself by continuing. and since i’m not a trans woman i don’t want to misinterpret them (so sorry if i’ve already did. trans girls feel free to bring up clarifications). might sound tedious but i strongly suggest you watch this 50-min long video essay by youtuber contrapoints. her vids are informative and entertaining and so v easy to digest despite the length. i’ve heard she’s not v liked in terf circles but it’s worth it to listen to what she has to say as a trans women.

[saintkimora]

well here is how the past 4 days have been w joel

we started talking on scruff like 5 days ago. it was actually really nice conversation. like i usually suck at talking to people on those apps but w him it came naturally so that was a good first sign

so our first cuddle date was on friday night. i drove to his apartment and i actually drove on the parkway! it was scary but i had to do it bc using the regular streets would have taken like an extra 12 minutes. i was not expecting much bc he said on scruff that he isnt looking for a relationship bc hes been going from relationship to relationship for a while and he felt suppressed so he wanted some time to just hoe around (ok caleb) so i went into it just expecting a decent one night thing. i got there around midnight

 so i finally got there and he was soooooooooo cute in person omg!!! he already looked cute in his profile pic but he was even cuter irl. so i got there and his 3 roommates were all in like the living room area so i had to meet them. it was hard and i was getting more nervous as the convo went on. but the first thing one of them asked me was if i knew who that poppy was and i was like yeah i do lol and they all went wild asfajkdfbheakdfkha they were so surprised that i knew who she was! and then one of them showed me her pet toad lmao 

so then we went into his room. we cuddled and talked and stuff and it was soooooo nice omg. he was sooooooooooooo cute and sweet and affectionate and funny and his voice is kinda dorky. and his hair is SOOOOOOOOO SO nice omg i was touching it like all night. and his ass is so nice omg i finally got a man with some ass!!! his ass is so fat and hairy and jiggly omg! and he had a really cute soft belly too and he has nice titties. and his eyelashes are so cute and he had nice eyebrows and a nice beard and soft lips. AND he likes me hairy and he told me i didnt even need to trim my pubes! now this is a MAN 

so we talked on his bed for most of the night. we talked about drag race (he has bad opinions on it though he hates all the messy iconic queens! like he doesnt like nina or trinity smh) and overwatch and ff and kh and also some more personal stuff. and he has anxiety too! which is good bc now i dont have to worry as much about my anxiety being a burden like i had to do with c*leb. he also told me about some of his past relationships which i will get to later bc i was not happy about this

 at one point we sat on his couch bc he wanted to show me all the playbills for the shows hes been to/been a part of. i do not care for theatre stuff but i still enjoyed it bc he seemed really excited to show off all his playbills lol. he also gave me his mcat book since he doesnt need it since hes already taken it and gotten an acceptable score lol

so we cuddled some more (hes a REALLY good cuddler btw omg) and we did some touching and kissing and oral obv and then we fell asleep. and this was like one of my fave parts omg i looooooooved falling asleep with him and waking up with him. it was such a cute first date! he did leave like 3 hickeys on me though :/

so then i had to leave and go back home to go to my cousins baptism party. it was boring but it wasnt as bad as it couldve been bc joel kept texting me all day telling me he missed me and stuff which was cute 

then he invited me over again that night. so towards the end of the party he was like “btw my friends and i just started watching rent live so take your time bc youll prob get here during the middle of it” and i was like ok that is not happening bc i was not about to sit there and hang out w him and his friends that i dont know at all bc i am not repeating my third date with caleb. so i really took my time and watched the newest drag race. then i got there around midnight again

so we went into his room and he was playing kh 2.8 but we turned it off and we played mariokart on the switch instead! 10th grade me WISHES he was current me omg it was super fun even though he beat me almost every time lol. then we went in bed and did the usual. but this is where a problem started. so we were kissing and touching and stuff and i accidentally moaned calebs name AJKSFADSJFAEJKF i felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad 

he was like “what was that?” and i was like “what?” and he was like “what did you say?” and i was like “nothing” and he was like “it sounded like you said caleb” so then i apologized like a million times lol he said it was ok as long as it didnt happen again. but still i felt sooooo bad about it. i apologized again later on in the night and he said its ok and not to dwell on it lol. idek why i said it bc joel is more attractive than caleb both in terms of looks and personality. i had the same problem when i was with caleb too smh whenever i was w caleb i had to fight the urge to say freddies name. so yeah that was the one mistake ive made so far

so then i tried to make it up to him by sucking his dick. then i also ate his ass and fingered him. now THAT made me horny omg eating his ass was so much fun and his hole was so pretty and fingering him was super fun too! he was nice and tight and he was REALLY enjoying it which made me like it even more! so then i basically fingered him while sucking his dick/jerking him off until he came and it was honestly a religious experience omg he looked SO hot

then we fell asleep again lol but this time i had to wake up earlier bc i had work. work was good bc i got 3 credit cards and my manager sarah was happy about it. but i got SOOOO angry towards the end like we closed at 7 and a whole crowd of people came in at 6:55 and the line was so long even after we closed and when i finally got my last customer she ended up being the most difficult one of the day i hated herrrrrr omg she had like a million returns all w dif receipts and it was even more annoying bc we have to put away the returns along w the go backs after closing so she just gave me even more work to do

then on sunday joel said we shouldnt hang out that night bc we needed to pace ourselves. i was fine w that bc obv i missed him but logically speaking going slow is prob the best thing to do so we dont burn out too quickly. he did text me a lot that night though lol he was not afraid to tell me how much he missed me lol it was cute. then on monday afternoon i saw my therapist and told her all about my new thing w joel and i talked about the doubts i had about it and we had a v good session!

then came last night/today. so this time i got there around like 9pm. i was happy bc it was so easy driving on the parkway this time i was like wow this is actually kinda fun but then i had so much trouble finding parking smh like i can never just have one completely good drive! so i got there and said hi to 2 of his roommates who were in the living room/kitchen area. we went into his room and we watched finding dory and it was so cute! i prob wouldnt have enjoyed it by myself but it was fun watching it while cuddling w him. then there was like a centipede type thing on his ceiling and i was about to die omg he sprayed it w lysol and it fell but he couldnt find it so he thought it would die soon but then later on in the movie it touched his foot and i had to get away while he killed it for good. then later that night when we were in bed there was another bug on his wall smh but this one was easy for him to kill

after the movie he pulled up these youtube videos from this dance show his schools theatre honor society did and made me watch all the songs w him in them. it was honestly really boring im not gonna lie akjfhadshfkfskdjabhd but it was nice seeing him dance and stuff i guess. there was one point where there was a guy in the performance and he was like “oh he had such a nice ass, when i first saw him i was like whoa” like...once again ok caleb like that is not really information i needed to hear. or when this other guy was in the performance and he was like “oh he was my roommate that year, he was one hot piece of ass” like again i really do not need to hear this

then we went in his bed and it was nice! i ate his ass again and this time he ate my ass as well and i ended up cumming this time and i started like laughing uncontrollably after i came idk why lol but it was fun. we fell asleep and this time we could sleep in so it was nice. we kept waking up and kissing and cuddling and stuff. we ended up getting up for real at like 2pm. then he wanted to watch friends so we did that and then he played overwatch while i watched and cuddled him and touched his belly. then we were just laying in bed again and then i had to go back home for dinner. he offered me cereal or oatmeal when he had a bagel for breakfast but im not comfortable eating in front of him yet and i also hate imposing on people so i lied and said i wasnt hungry even though i was starving ashjfadkfhdskjn

so now for the bad parts. so like joel has not shown any signs of being anything but completely 100% interested in me and he has shown no signs of stopping soon yet i cant stop feeling like he just likes me now bc this is new and then he’ll get bored and leave when he gets to know me better. bc thats basically what caleb did and like i have no proof that joel will do it too but i cant get over the feeling unfortunately :/ like honestly out of our 3 dates so far i was kinda tempted to just cancel and then never talk to him again for 2 of them just to end things now so it doesnt get messy later. but my therapist said im not psychic so i shouldnt try to predict the future without any evidence so i am trying to just push the feeling to the back of my mind

now for my next issue: our relationship status. so joel said when we first talked on scruff that he didnt want a relationship but his actions have said otherwise. like he said he wants to take things slow bc he wants to make this work and he keeps saying he wants me to be his and stuff like that and he seems v interested in me beyond just as a friend w benefits. so idk what exactly he wants bc even if he changes his mind and wants to be bfs w me idk if i want to bc i dont want to make him feel “suppressed” again like he said about his past relationship history. so yeah as of now im not taking it too seriously and am just trying to enjoy myself without really thinking of how our situation is going to develop

now for my next issue: his past relationships. he told me the one time he like REALLY fell in love w a guy was w this online long distance relationship. this relationship actually ended very badly for him. but the issue to me is how it began. joel said he met this online guy WHILE he (joel) already had a boyfriend and that he developed feelings for this online guy while he was still w his bf at the time. he said he felt bad about it which is nice i guess. but the way i see it is that if he did this once he can very well do it again and i dont want to be the current boyfriend when that happens. like i honestly cant relate at all bc im the type who doesnt even really check out other guys when im currently bfs w someone. not everyone is like this obv so i cant be mad at him if hes the type to still be attracted to other men. but like, to actually develop feelings for someone else (and not just have it be a physical attraction) while currently bfs w someone? that is just disgusting imo and when he told me this i told him like im ngl thats messed up. so yeah that makes me even more hesitant to be in a relationship w him since he might meet another guy when hes with me and fall in love with him instead. so yeah this is just another thing to note in the back of my mind

and now for something i have mixed feelings about. on sunday he texted me to let me know he deleted all his dating apps yesterday bc he wanted to to focus on pursuing me and he wanted to be preemptive about it bc he didnt want to have any “temptations.” honestly it was cute at first but then i went to delete mine and looked on scruff and it said he was online 10 hours ago but he said he deleted it yesterday! so i asked him about it and he was like “oh yeah i redownloaded them this morning just to check them one last time” like ????????? honestly it was just funny to me bc like why did he tell me deleted his dating apps like it was some big thing if he was just gonna redownload them the next day nnnnnnnnn and like he didnt tell me about the redownloading part so he just wanted me to believe he deleted them yesterday? like idgi what was the point of that lol i think he wanted to do something to look sweet but it just ended up backfiring lmao. also he said he deleted the apps but he didnt delete his profiles so idk what to make of that but honestly i really dont care ive known this guy for 5 days afhkjafkhdaskn it was just kinda funny to me

but this next part is worrisome. its what he said about resisting tempations. like it wouldve been fine if he just said like “i am pursuing you so theres no reason for me to still be on dating apps” but like saying he “didnt want any tempations” so its like...hes admitting that its possible for him to be tempted? like as i said im not tempted by other guys at all like if i am with a man it is just him and only him for me. so idk again it seemed like he was trying to gain points w me by saying that but it just made me even more suspicious. again im not making too much of a big deal over it bc its not that serious yet but its just something for me to keep in my mind bc my therapist said this is the stage where i should be doing research and making note of things that could be red flags and stuff. so *tiffany pollard voice* ive been doing a little research

like it doesnt seem THAT bad on its own but when you combine the temptations thing w his past relationship history stuff it does make it seem like its very possible for him to show so much interest in me now and get with me only to decide he likes another guy more. so yeah for these reasons i am not putting too much stock into whatever we have rn bc im not quite sure yet whether i want to pursue a relationship with him

and i have one more thing. as ive mentioned before joel is good at EVERYTHING. he is good at orgo, playing a bunch of instruments, choreography, makeup, studying, video games, staying on top of his career goals, cooking, and he has a higher gpa than me. i am trying not to be competitive but its honestly really fucking annoying that he is better than me at literally everything! like i wish i just had one thing i could beat him at. i dont want to let it get to me but regardless of how i want to feel the fact of the matter is that i dont like it when people are better than me at anything in general, so when someone is better than me at like everything it REALLY gets on my nerves

and another thing. like all 3 of our dates so far have just been us two alone in his room. i have yet to see how good we are together in like social situations. like w caleb we got along perfectly fine when we were alone just hanging out but the problems started w like going out and doing social things like that. so i need to see what his needs are socially and how compatible our lifestyles are before i can fully devote myself bc if he has the same needs as caleb i most likely wont be able to keep up which will put a strain on the relationship

so those are my issues with the situation so far. i said those first bc i wanted to end on a good note! so now i can move on to the good stuff

joel is honestly really really nice and he gives me soooo much attention and he seems very interested in me atm. he loves my appearance AND he loves my personality and for once it seems like we equally enjoy being with each other instead of me liking the other person way more than they like me. and we have so many common interests and like i dont feel nervous at all when im talking to him! and like he misses me soooo much its so cute! and his personality is just like my fave like it just makes me wanna squeeze him! and hes so funny and like its so cute like if i make a joke and he says like get out or leave or something and im like ok and start to get up hes like “no no dont!!!” and like latches onto me and it is soooooooooo cute. and i literally cannot keep my hands off his hair (and also his ass and tum tbh). and since he lives w his 3 roommates theres no parents to worry about! and he just makes me really happy like i cannot be sad around him and hes so bubbly and he always uses so many heart emojis and calls me nice things like babe and my love and sweetheart and yeah just like he is literally checking off every box rn. all the problems i listed before are somewhat significant but overall i really like him so far so i def want to keep seeing him. and he already lives v close to his school so its not like i need to worry about him leaving anytime soon! and hes really nice like i really liked caleb at first as well (since the problems only really started towards the end of our relationship) but i already like joel way more than i liked caleb! and its nice bc like everyone kept saying when caleb broke up w me that i would find someone way better than him but it was kinda hard to believe at the time but everyone was right! i like joel soooooo much so far and if any guy ive met so far has been boyfriend material its definitely him

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 26} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: I was having a really horrible day. And that's when I realized IWSY is getting updated tonight and it hasn't been as bad as a day as expected!^^  On a side note, do you like 2PM? I just wanted to see possibly. If you do, what is your favorite song? Thank you for being so awesome! 💕😘

I’m sorry you are having a really horrible day *hugs* but I hope IWSY can make you smile a little bit! And yes, I like 2PM, but is it bad to say that my fav song was 10 our of 10? LOLOL I still listen to it occasionally :3

Anonymous said: can't wait for the new iwsy chapter :)))

Yay I hope you enjoy it!!

@hemhings said: I won't be able to read I Won't Stop You tonight because I'm on nightshift, I'm so upset about this!😭😭😨

Awww babe I’m sorry you’re working nightshift! :( that really sucks ugh :( but don’t worry my love, Jungkook will still be here for you when you get home!! :3

@ktaegyo said: okay i just had my first part of final exams today and I fucked it up but then I stumbled upon your story and read all 25 chapters at one go lmao. bless you, thank you for making me feel better. I love you

I’m sure you didn’t fuck it up my love, I’m sure you did the best you can do! *hugs* but I’m really happy that IWSY made you feel a little better, and I love you too :D

@fangirlunnie said: IWSY can have hundreds of chapters and I wouldn't get tired of it 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Oh god I don’t think it will have hundreds of chapters xD But it is turning out to be quite long! I never expected the story to take my to all these different places and ideas xD But thank you so much beautiful :3

@adoppelna14 said: Every Tuesday I have this strange urge to tell you that I am waiting for the new Chapter of IWSY😂 and it's no joke. A lot of times I look at the date and I'm like, Oh no it's not Tuesday yet. And every Tuesday morning it's like, why can't it be night already?😂😭

Please never lose this strange urge because I really love seeing people get excited (cos I get excited too!!) hehe ^^ I really hope you’ll enjoy this one ahhhh c:

Anonymous said: Bc i live in the Netherlands i have to wait till 10:30 bc the time is 1 hour behind, but still I always stay awake for IWSY and I always go to sleep after i read it bc Tuesday is the longest school day i have whaha

Awh bless you that’s so late for you I’m sorry! :( But I hope that tonight’s chapter will be a good one :3

Anonymous said: iwsy is literally the highlight of my day... no lie. my university classes have already stopped for the summer so i have nothing to do today.. and iwsy hasnt come out yet.... so all i did was nap. i woke up, checked the time in the uk, went back to sleep, and checked the time again. you got yourself a dedicated reader here!!!!

You’re literally so cute I’m screaming xD But I’m so jealous that you’re already finished Uni for the summer! I really hope you like tonight’s chapter :3 thank you so much for reading IWSY!!

Anonymous said: IWSY has reached its final ark right? I'm so exited for the last chapters. ^0^

Maybe, maybe not! You’ll just have to wait! :D

@warriorinhealing said: Can I just say I'm literally sitting at the edGE OF MY BED just waITING for IWSY to update 😩 this story is so good and my friend got me into this and I don't regret(okay kinda of bc my emotions are played a lot in this story) and I jUST !!! 😭😩 I don't ship chim and tae but this story makes me wonder if I should and I love yoongi but this story makes me waNNA FITE HIM SO HARD and I want him to cATCH MY H A N DSS !!! and you just write so good 😭 sorry that this is long, I'm vvv emotional

Ahh you’re so cute thank you so much! I’m really happy that you got into IWSY and that you’re enjoying it :3 Tbh i ship tae with everyone lmao he’s so loveable and full of affection ^^ I hope you’ll enjoy tonight’s chapter my love!! thank you so much :3

Anonymous said: First of all, i'm going to calmly say that you are a wonderful writer and that new chapter is no joke. I also want to say something else. Pardon my french, but:  WHAT THE FUCK?  I almost started sobbing.... But its fine... Ill just wait another seven days to see what happens.   [I've never cried from fanfiction before so this was a nice surprise. Thank you for being such a great writer and continuously uploading IWSY. Just thank you~💕]

Hehe :3 thank you so much for saying that ahh~ i’m so happy you read it and liked? it! lolol :3 thank you so much dear!

Anonymous said: fuck.

same tbh

Anonymous said: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YES

@jauntyjin said: IF U KILLED JIMIN ILL BE SO SAD

WHERE DOES IT SAY JIMIN DIED

@talkmemeytome said: Omg im ACTUALLY crying at iwsy youre such a great writer oh gosh

aaaaaaaaah thank you so much yay!!

Anonymous said: I AM SHOOKETH. OH MAN. THAT WAS SO GOOD. YOU'RE PLAYING WITH MY HEART STRINGS. JESUS

You’re so welcome hehe~ thank you very much!

@mysr3 said: Sara!!! Am so MAD at U rn!! That Yoongi bite not supposed 2b on Y/N ahh😖what!!! Am so upset Omg! Ok I know u r the queen of Cliff hanging but this is just the most painful one I ever had! Glare hard at u girl! Nice chapter! My emotions r all over the place again thx to u! Can u spare us n give us reassurance that everything will b okay! Plzz I need this! My tears keep on falling TT Thank you! I Love U n Ur Blog❤️❤️❤️ but should I continue LOVIN U after this hmm 🤔 Hav a good Day Sara! ❤️ Ps I like how u portrayed Y/N to b kind of bad ass this time! But Jimin!!!! Why~

It’s okay~ everyone’s mad at me :( Don’t cry! Keep reading! hehe :) And Y/N has always been bad ass ^^ But she definitely went overboard and couldn’t control her anger in this chapter I think^^ thank you so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: 😯🙁😢😭😵😱  ☝basically how i felt while reading this chapter haha BUT DAMN NOW I REALLY NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS WILL TURN OUT I NEED NEXT WEEK TO ARRIVE (but also no because it'll be one week less to my finals) can't wait for updates!!! Hope you have a great week 😘

Next week isn’t that far away! and same I feel you i have so many tests and finals and assignments that I feel like crying forever lolol thank you so much for reading my love!

@ayedemi said: i'm crying istg, i need more of IWSY, i'm in London with school next week and i will miss it bc they don't know for sure if we have wifi ): but i wanna say ILY byeee ♥︎

Ooooh I will also be in London next week! *shifty eyes* hehe but I hope you’ll enjoy IWSY if/when you get a chance to read it :D

Anonymous said: I know I just forgave you for playing with my heart but now I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take it back becaUSEWHYDIDUKILLJIMIN?!WHYDIDYOUKILLTHEMOSTPRECIOUSTHINGINMYLIFEHUH?!HEWASJUSTAYOUNGVAMIREANDYOUJUSTWERELIKETIMETORUINTHEFUNSORRYMATE?!IFONLYICOULDKEEPMYSTUPIDMOUTHSHUTANDNOWJIMINISDEAD!!!IMSUPPOSEDTOWRITEAPAPERTHATSDUE T O M O R R O W AFTERREADINGTHIS?!THISISTOOMUCHFUDGINGANGSTFORMYPOORFLUFFYHEART?!IHAVEMORETOSAYBUTIMRUNNINGOUTOFCHARACTERSSOILLENDWITHTHIS-IH8USOMUCHRIGHTNOW!HMPH- Vampnip anon

Question; where in the chapter did it say Jimin died *confused face*

Anonymous said: ... .... ..... ...... I Hate  You So Much Right Now HOW.COULD.YOU.DO.THAT.TO.ME Is it sad that I don't actually care about my character I'm just really sad about jimin 😭

no Jimin don’t dieeeee!

@ohheyitsebonyrose said: Omgg Sara!!!! That chapter I'm actually crying! T-T you're such an amazing writer! It's my 18th Birthday tomorrow (well for me; April 13th) and I go see Got7 next week I'm so excited!!!

Happy Birthday to you my love! I hope you have an amazing 18th birthday AND OMG YAY YOU’LL HAVE AN AMAZING TIME! I’m also seeing GOT7 again in May and June and I can’t wait sdfghjk they’re literally the only thing that is stopping me from drowning myself somewhere lol. Thank you so much for reading IWSY my dear, it means a lot to me :D

@sundaymorningblues14 said: I have never felt this amount of anxiety over a fan fiction. But I made it through, and even though my poor heart is beating way too fast right now, I am happy I didn't stop reading it.. Thanks Sara x

I am glad you didn’t stop reading ^^ because everything will turn out just fine!! Thank you so much my love, and I hope you have a wonderful week~

Anonymous said: DUDE THAT CHAPTER I'M ACTUALLY CRYING REAL TEARS RIGHT NOW THIS ISN'T A DRILL HOLY SHIT DUDE I CAN'T TAKE IT I JUST

This is not a drill - this is a real emergency

@im-that-chesire-jax said: OH MY FUCKING GOD IM IN TEARSSSSS

*hands you a tissue* because same

Anonymous said: THAT ENDING! NO! I AM ACTUALLY IN TEARS,, holy crap you're so good at writing i admire you! also! how many chapters are left?

Thank you so much my love! You’re so kind to me :D And I have no idea, I’m sorry!

Anonymous said: NO GOD PLEASE NO. YOONGI DID NOT DO THAT. THIS STORYLINE IS SO CRUEL.

The world is a cruel place my friend

@animeimmortal said: DO YOU MIND WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO KILL JIMIN AND LIKE WHAT WAS THAT ENDING. MY SON IS DYING RIGHT NOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LIKE WHAT IS THIS I Don't know what I was expecting tbh bUT IT WASNT THAT THou I was expecting a fight to break out and the detailed descriptions? Amazing I love reading them they make the whole thing seem so real you're so tale ted aNYwAY MY SON IS DYING THERE OMG WHYTYYYYY ❤❤❤

Where does it say Jimin died? :o hehe thank you for liking the detailed descriptions and i’m really happy it seemed real to you ^^ NO JIMIN DON’T DIEEEEE! Thank you so much dear ^^

@jeonjungkooksshi said: You're an amazing writer! IWSY IS AMAZINGGGGG and the latest chapter... ughhh too much for my weak heart! LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT WEEK!! <3

*blushes* thank you so much my love c: that means so much to me!

@the-golden-jhope said: I WANNA FUCKING DIE YOU CANNOT END IWSY LIKE THAT IM CRYING OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT A WEEK

1. Don’t die pls - 2. I just did~ hehe THANK YOU for reading :D

Anonymous said: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IWSY PT 26 WAS SO SPICY!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN UNNIE!!! fuck i hate cliff hangers but, in this case it's totally understandable. omo, my hearteu my hearteu. Unnie, do us all a favour, STOP MESSING WITH OUR BIAS LIST!!! lol, You deserve around of applause. Can't wait for Tuesdays!!!! hwaiting!!!!

Hot hot spicy! hehe thank you so much for reading the update and I’m glad it brought you pain/pleasure ^^ hehe

Anonymous said: BSKSKSNDND MUMSY IM ACTUALLY CRYING AT THIS IM SCREAMING WHY WOULD YOU OH GOD IM IN NEED OF SERIOUS COMFORT WHY WHY WHY IM SOBBING NDKDKKDEM I CANT EVEN BREATHE I'M CRYING IM NOT READY FOR NEXT WEEK IDKSKEND MUMSYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYY

*comforts you* shhh it’s okay~ it’ll be over soon~~ hehe thank you for reading it my love!!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: oK i'm crying like a little bitch yet again bc of IWSY. the pain is highkey worth it though i'm in love with this story. if i owned a time machine i'd go to next week fr

it’s okay I cry like a little bitch every day~ it’s gr8 hehe ^^ thank you for being in love with iwsy ^^ i’m so happy that you’re enjoying the updates lovely!

@platinumbreak said:  Thank you, you made me lucky haha my exams went well. I hope yours will too. I talked about your writings to a friend and she has been reading it for 3hours straight, she is not even answering anymore haha Ps: This chapter is just amazing thank you for writing and making our life happier haha ×

I’m so happy i could give you a little bit of luck! and I’m glad to know that your friend has seemed to immerse herself in the story too :3 I hope she likes it! thank you very much for reading!

Anonymous said: I'm not even gonna begin to lie, there's actual tears in my eyes after ch26 like, fuck it has me so emotional I'm such a soft pillow I just want everything to turn out okay Jesus Christ I'm sitting nd crying why u gotta do this to me

trust me,I was crying when I wrote parts of that chapter ^^ hehe~ *hugs you* thank you so much for reading the update!

@killingalltheflowers said: Omg this chapter was too much. HOLY SHIT YOU KILLED JIMIN, MY LOVE. YOU MONSTER (I still love you) A-AND NOOO NOW THE READER IS GOING TO BE BOUND TO YOONGI. UGH I- I CANT. I'M SO UPSET ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU FREAKIN GODESS OF FANFICS. T^T Also this chapter was gorgeously written.. T^T

Where does it say Jimin died?! lol ahhh I’m definitely not a goddess but thank you so much for reading and enjoying the chapter, it means so much to me :3

@oramleon said: sara i'm fucking crying right now what the HELL was that update??????????? WHYYYYYYY

I’M SORRY OKAY

@theninjachan said: "Yoongi smiled – baring his teeth and gums as if he found something to be terribly funny."  YOOO I THOUGHT OF YOONGI'S GUMMY SMILE IN THIS LINE AND CAN'T HELP BUT GIGGLE BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM TEARS RIGHT NOW THIS HAS BEEN YOUR MOST HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER YET. I NEED A MOMENT.

Yoongis gummy smile melts my heart every single time fuck-- TAKE YOUR MOMENT ITS OKAY I UNDERSTAND hehe but I hope you enjoyed it my love ^^

Anonymous said: sara you KNEW everyone was gonna be upset what do you mean "some scenes may be upsetting" i was balling my eyes out the entire time

Shit u rite~~ BUT I HAD TO WARN OKAY YOU CAN’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

@moonlighthollow said: OMG NO NO NO WTF NO PLEASE OMG  OK I'm done..😐 I'm an emotional wreck😭 she can't just..... yoongi can't just... oh geez i don't even know what to say  AND JIMIN😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Why u doin dis to me ? My poor heartㅠㅠ (i love your writing tho♥)

Shhhh it’s okay...shhhh now *hugs* eheh thank you so much for reading this chapter even if it was a little sad!

@doubletroublesince1994 said: OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU DID NOT OH LORD HELP ME BREATHE I DID NOT EXPECT THAT HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN BECAUSE HELL I DIDNT ANTICIPATE THIS IM SHOOK

I’m glad I could surprise you in the worst way c: hehe thank you for reading once again my love!

Anonymous said: Hi, how many chapters will IWSY have? 💕

I’ve answered this question a million times before and Im sorry but I have no idea! :D

@wearelivinglegacies said: I'm NOT OKAY OMG I'M SO CLOSE TO CRYING RN LIKE WHAT AHHHHH FIRST JIMIN AND NOW Y/N!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I'M SO ANGRY AND SAD AND THIS STORY IS SO AMAZING THANK YOU, BUT ALSO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE???????? I can't wait for the next part this story has me on the edge of my seat 😭❤

I apologise for any hurt I’ve caused hehe~ thank you so much for being on the edge of your seat, and thank you so much for reading too! :D

@noceurash said:I knew bad things would happen in this chapter but I'm so... gffhu DEAD INSIDE,, my poor sweet boy jimin (I have such a soft spot for this boy why would you hurt me like this ;^;)) and tae too aaah my heart is breaking. Not to mention bby namjoon not wanting to hurt anyone im crying inside. You've hurt my soul this chapter. It's so good ((hurting me but good)). I hope you have a lovely day~~ I love you!!! <3

All the soul and heart hurties :c hehe i hope you’ll have a lovely day and I love you too! thank you so much for reading the new chapter sweetie!

@wastedtaehyung said: WHAT THE FLIPPJNG FUCK DOFMDCKMS KWEKSLXKQOS (Y/N) AND JIMIN WHAT WOFMWKDK APLDLQD NOW I HAVE TO WAIT NEXT WEEK WIFNSKDMSKSKWMS FUCKFKCMSKLAXMLWFKLW

you’re welcome :3

Anonymous said: nOOOO SARA NOT JIMINNN T_T. i expected it but you still got mehhh feeeeeels. your stories are just so emotional and thats exactly whats so great about them ;-;. ive always thought about how these ideas pop up in your mind. :3

:3 i’m so happy that you find it emotional to read, because i find it emotional to write! as for ideas, they just come to me randomly? dreams, through lyrics and poetry I write, i don’t really know^^ thank you so much for reading dear :D

@bekzzz said: Holy Shit. Just.... holy shit. Tuesday can't come fast enough!

hehe thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: straight up forgot that iwsy was coming out today 😭. I'm moving houses so everything is super stressful but i read the chapter and suddenly I am at peace. -tall anon

i hope moving house goes quickly for you! stress is no good~ thank you so much for reading the new chapter tall anon! ^^

@m1n-yoong1 said: The amount of times I've gasped and screamed reading IWSY pt 26 is unreal, your writing always amazes me and I look forward to the next chapter 🙌🏼🙌🏼💖💖

awh thank you, that was so sweet and you made me smile ^^ thank you so much for reading the new chapter love!

Anonymous said: damn sara these cliffhangers tho 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

u know me xox

Anonymous said: I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you 😡

It’s okay. I hate myself too.

Anonymous said: There was a part where you mention how she was essentially able to give life and it was in italics so she can bring Jimin back to life, right? Also if Jungkook marked her in some vampy way, does that mean that Yoongi's plan won't work? Please say yes! 🙏 Joon is gonna be okay too, right? I don't like death. Death is sad. I don't like being sad.

When Jungkook said he marked her, it was sexual innuendo as in - he has already gotten her pregnant ^^ hehe I hope everything turns out well in the end c: ~ thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: I'd like to assume that Yoongi can still be redeemed, because o love each and every one of them. That seems a bit too unrealistic, doesn't it though. 😔

We’ll just have to see what happens! But just remember that it’s not real haha Yoongi’s image is just being used for a character I created! It doesn’t depict him in any way ^^

@thenotsogrownupeldest said: I was screaming reading the ending of IWSY latest chapter! I even wish I was some kind of supernatural being that can intervene that heartbreaking scene and save both jimin and y/n.. you my friend, are a terrific writer. I love you but I slightly hate you right now for the ending. I need a moment to calm my non-vampiric soul from this intense scene.

Jump into the story and save everyone! hehe ^^ thank you so much and I love you too (even tho you slightly hate me) c: i’m glad you liked? the update!

Anonymous said: HOW COULD YOU

WHAT DID I DO

@wanda-rog said: I'm speechless...I really wasn't expecting that...Jimin better be okay next week! You're so good at leaving us all on the edge! I bit all my nails reading that chapter and now I can only hope for Jimin to survive and WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE BABY AND IS NAMJOON OKAY AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN OVER ALL, angst aside that was a really cool chapter I'm seriously looking forward to next one, thanks for always updating on time and lengthy chapters too, you go Sara xx

I hope he’ll be okay too! hehe all the questions, hopefully you’ll get answers soon c: thank you so much for enjoying it and reading the new chapter dear, it means a lot to me ^^

@coppertopging said: Omg i totally forgot it was tuesday until i saw your update! This chapter had soooo much going on!! I have so many questions, but got so many answers, but I can't help but want... no... NEED more of this story! Is it terrible that i just never want it to end?!

trust me, al the days have merged into one for me. I have 4 assignments due and numerous exams to have and I’m losing my grip on reality lolol please kill me :( thank you so much for reading as always dear, it means the world to me.

Anonymous said: Holly Tony Molly SARA DA FEELS ARE SO STRONG stop making me cry why did u kill Cristian Chim Chim :/// I just cant wait for next week arggggh *sobs* I freaking love how all of this is so angsty 💞 --wifey anon

hello wifey anon! Where does it say I killed Jimin? ;o thank you so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: [[SCREAMING]]

*whispers*

Anonymous said: [Error 404] u cant kill chimchim u just cant why ?!😞😞

Where does it say I killed Jimin? ;o

@jynxy24 said: What. The. Hell. Shit feelings. What are feelings anyway? Do feelings even exist? WHY THE HECK YOU GOTTA DO THAT SARA WHY?! I'm happy that Namjoon is good. WE WERE CORRECT!! And damn, badass reader omg. I MISS BADASS VAMPIRE MOM!! Also, if Yoongi frickin doesn't turn good at the end, Istg Sara. Anyways! Thanks for the greatttttt chapter! Stay awesome :3

FEELINGS DONT EXIST :D hehe thank you so much for reading the new chapter ^^ i’m really happy you enjoyed it Jynxy :D

@shineeshawol204 said: So I just read chap 26 of I Won't Stop You, first of all, bitch - I mean that in the nicest way possible - second of all, your writing style is phenomenal! During the fight scene I was letting out audible gasps as the events were unfolding and I feel like I am actually watching it. There's zero gaps in your writing, I am left without questions (other than why bis, ugh the pain I feels) as to what's happening and just ugh, wonderful. Also my friend i sent it to is only on pt.3 and I need someone

Ahh thank you so much I’m so glad you enjoyed the fight scene! I had such a fun time writing it tbh lol to hear you say that there’s no gaps in my writing, it’s really a massive compliment to me. it’s always something i’ve been afraid of happening so thank you so much! thank you a million times ^^

@cheeto-puff-gem said: what the FUCK WHY THIS WHY T H I S

I DON’T KNOW WHAT

Anonymous said: OH SHIT Y/N IS GOING TO BECOME A VAMPIRE (stares intensely at April 18th on the calendar AKA NEXT TUESDAY)

but what if SHE DIES

Anonymous said: ONCE AGAIN YOU GOT ME ALL THE WAY FUCKED. ONE JIMIN NOT DEAD. IF HE DIE IMA LOSE MY SHIT AND TWO Y/N NOT GONNA BE YOONGI'S SLAVE CUZ SHE BELONGS TO JUNGKOOK. it's midnight and I'm laying in the bed crying RN cuz like why? Why you do these things? 😢😢😢 My soul is hurt. I feel as though the world needs to end because Lil mochi is dying and WHAT ABOUT THE FETUS? Baby fetus me is in there like wtf mom calm ya tits and where's my dad? You keep hurting me w/ cliffhangers but I love u 💜~LilKookieAno (cont.) P.S. on a real note I'm dead ass when I say the baby should be named after me. 💜 ~LilKookieAnon

Don’t worry baby fetus i’m sure you’ll be okay! hehe hopfully everything will work out okay in the end :D i love you too sweetcakes~ thank you so much for reading part 26! i hope you enjoyed it even though it was an emotional one :3

@blryface said: I'm honestly so shook at part 26. Like, oh my god I'm speechless. You're such an amazing writer and I anticipate every Tuesday when you update! I can't wait to see how things turn out but DAMN YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP

ahhh thank you so much honestly ^^ i’m so happy you liked it and that you look forward to new updates my love! and i’m sorry if i got you all fucked up hehe

Anonymous said: NO NO NO NO SARA WTHEFUCKWHY TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW IM GONNA AAAAAAA

I called you an ambulance!!

@sunnyoongi2 said: I JUST FINISHED THE NEW CHAPTER OF IWSY AND IM SO HURT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IM CRYING JIMIN!!! NOOO

hehehe thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK JIMIN OH MY GOD IM CRYING BUT ALSO NAMJOON AND IM SO TIRED IT'S TOO LATE ON A SCHOOL NIGHT TO BE THIS EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT OH MY GOD

GO TO BED YOU NAUGHTY CHILD!

Anonymous said: NUH UH HONEY. That is all. (In response to IWSY Part 26)

UH HUH HONEY YES MM

Anonymous said: OH MY GODDDD. IWSY CHAP 26 GOT ME SCREAMINGGGG!!! THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE 💜💜💜

AHH YOU’RE WELCOME AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

Anonymous said: WAIT WHAT

*waits*

Anonymous said: Yeah just slap me right into the feels take my heart will ure at it whats the point of living if softie Jimin is dead 😩

Where does it say Jimin died?!

Anonymous said: What is this pain that I feel in my chest?

Life

Anonymous said: my poor hearteu

*comforts you*

@lostheretics said: oMg iM HAVING A HEART ATTACK WTF YOONGI???????????? I NEED HELP IWSY IS KILLIN ME

hehe~ you’re welcome for the heart attack! :3

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARA NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not thatt!!!!! im so sad!!!!!!!(cont.) I THINK I KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!!! I HAVE THEORIES!!!

*sneaky laughs* I guess you’ll just have to wait to see if your theories are correct! ^^ thank you for reading lovely :D

Anonymous said: you ripped my poor soul in half with iwsy why, why must you bring pain and do this :(   poor jimin my heart

I apologise for all the pain :( but I hope you’re still enjoying the story my love!

Anonymous said: I just cannot with chapter 26, this feeling is so indescribable, no words can explain the pain when I read the last few paragraphs, OMG NO PLEASE DONT TAKE HER AWAY FROM JUNGKOOK PLEASEEEE!!!! ಥ╭╮ಥ

Hopefully everything will be okay!! Thank you so much for reading my love ^^

Anonymous said: oh my gosh Sara chapter 26 was so saddening but so good!!! JIMINNNNNN please tell me a miracle will happen and he won't die!!! and let's hope the mark made by jungkook makes a difference and it is strong enough to overcome Yoongi's... I don't want evil yoongi to become my master T.T btw I've written in a couple of times as anon, but how about I label myself as bunnykookie96 from now onwards :D yes, I'm a 96-liner. may I ask what's your age too? ^^

The reference jungkook made to a ‘mark’ was a sexual innuendo because he got her pregnant haha ^^ and yay bunnykookie96! I am also a 96 liner~ my birthday is 12th of January!! :D

Anonymous said: IDC ABT Y/N RN WILL JIMIN MAKE IT AKSKSKKSKK PLEASE OH MY GOD I STILL NEED TO SEE THAT VMIN SIDE STORY

I PRAY THAT ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE GODBLESS

Anonymous said: im fucking having theories in my head right now loool but i cant put it into words i will wait for the next chapter to see if im right hoho and btw is this ending? :( i feel like im reading a book holy shit i dont want it to end :((

I can’t wait to see if your theories will come true!! And nope, not yet. There’s still a bit to go~ But I’m glad that you’re not getting bored of it! I was afraid that people might get bored of it because of the length of the series haha :( thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT JIMIN WHHHHHYYYY the tears currently streaming down my face could create a lake for him to relax in LIKE WHHHYYY DID U DO THIS TO ME WHY COULDNT YOU JUST TAKE ME INSTEAD he was so young so bright so precious just full of love I'm so sad WHY JIMIN!!! New drinking game!! Drink an entire bottle of wine everytime you cried during this chapter ☹️

Jimin you should have stayed out of it!! Take him? Where did he go? Who said he’s dead? ;o hehe~ thank you so much for reading the chapter my love ^^

Anonymous said: I just looked at a picture of Min Yoongi the love of my life and I? Got mad at him?? Like??? You asshole???? Why couldn't you just stay in the basement of your god damn mansion and let everyone live happily????? Like damn I had to remind myself that I'm not dating a vampire and Jimin didn't actually get stabbed and that I need to stop reading outside because I look crazy crying on a park bench THANKS SO MUCH SARA YOU REALLY STABBED ME IN THE HEART THERE

Awwwwh no! Don’t be like that~ that’s not how Yoongi is - I’m merely just using his image to fit a character that I made! Yoongi is a sweet person for sure :D hehe i’m sorry if I made you cry :( but i hope you enjoed the chapter nonetheless ^^ thank you so much!

Anonymous said: Omg ch 26 was brilliant! All I can think about is what's going to happen to y/n's unborn baby ahhhhhhh >.< my heart goes out to jungkookie, his biggest fear became true. I really loved this chapter and the loved the way you conveyed namjoon's struggles! On another not,I really admire you for updating on time! Thank youuuuu for writing an amazing story that contrary keeps us on our toes. I love it and hate it at the same time lol.

Thank you so much my love! that really means so much to me, you’re so, so sweet thank you so much *hugs* I really hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the story and I’m glad you liked this chapter ^^

@dont-hyuck said: Fuck I'm trying so hard not to ugly sob after this chapter ooooohhhhhh someone help ease my aching heart 😭😭😭😭💔💔 I hope everything ends up right at the end I am so attached to this story it is one of the most wonderful things I have ever read and I mean that with my entire being. Please don't ever stop writing I love you so much 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖

I was ugly sobbing while I was writing it haha :( I hope everything ends up all alright too! awwh thank you so much my love, you have no idea how much your words mean to me! I don’t ever plan on stopping so you don’t have to worry :3 thank you and I love you too my dear!!

[thegeminisage]

more zeldablogging! hello, future me, i hope you’re enjoying these

today: lake hyrule!

the tower is next to not-eldin bridge so maybe i should approach from there and not faron tower

but i can see farosh's bridge from here and it's juuust the right time

maybe i'll just got wait a few moments and see if he appears

AAAH THERE HE IS!!!!

and another scale :3

i wish i could get horn shards tho :/

lol i get super sad whenever i go back to the plateau even just to glide off the tower ): old man ))):

i used to think it was so tall! and now it looks so normal bc i've seen so much taller.

did NOT miss the rain while i was at death mountain

lol i can't believe these two puny lizalfos once prevented me from crossing this bridge bc it was too difficult of a fight

and FINALLY i'm across for real

and map obtained

i feel like lake hylia is about the same size here as in tp, but in tp it feels much bigger than it does here bc this world is already so huge and dwarfs even the massive divine beasts

god i can't BELIEVE i am always so low on arrows. frankly: an outrage

lol instead of going to the lake im getting the shrines i have seen from other provinces first

whoa these colums are cool

this zone is called faron woods? not even in faron province, hahaha

ooh there's a lady here talking about the horse revival fountain! i did see something about a lord horse lake or something on the map, so i guess that's it

ugh why is it ALWAYS raining

i'll admit i'm in the stage where like, i'm okay with not walking BY every tree, just maybe seeing them all, maybe even seeing them from a distant ledge or my glider

which isn't to say the world has lost its charm or im tired of exploring, exploring and crafting is basically all you do in skyrim and it pretty much never gets old, but i'm more anxious now to uncover the plot than i was before, which speaks to the game's storytelling skills, yet still feel the compulsive need to explore Everything before moving on lol

i don't typically do a lot of post-game play so i know after i kill the final boss that'll be that

ah here's the shrine maybe the rain will have stopped by the time i get out

NOOO a combat trial......!

but it says minor test of strength so that should be okay :|

ahaha got it in half a dozen hits

unfortunately i have so many great weapons i can't hold the ones i get from this thing or the one in the chest :| i need my shit to break!! i guess i need.....to fight more. ugrh.

god i have like 12 orbs now i should go trade them in lol

i keep forgetting!!

@self pls remember

jesus. it's still raining.

me: i need to fight more!

me: sees two lizalfos, groans

if i had arrows i would just take them out from afar

that's my instinct in skyrim, you know? i'm a sniper at heart, combat isn't my thing

but i have no arrows and too many weapons so i guess i gotta change it up

lol and learn to block my shields NEVER break bc i don't use them bc i don't really know how

that and i'm always fucking carrying two-handed weapons :| i want more one-handers

MAN i one-shotted both of them when it took three hits before with the same weapon...! this atk+ helmet does not fuck around im never taking it off again

the ruins in these woods are making me feel Some Kind Of Way

i hope the lost woods are in this game

i mean, they gotta be, if the master sword is sleeping somewhere in a forest

i hope it's cool when you get the sword. that's all i care about

i'm lying i hope ganon the man is in this game too but

im trying to keep my expectations reasonable

I HEAR KASS! where are you buddy i can't see you

ooh this shrine puzzle is about a forest dragon....FAROSH, MY BUDDY

lol yesterday my brother texted me like where the fuck are you getting all these hearty radishes? me: faron my dude

faron and apparently lake hylia too are absolutely thick with them

oh my god there's a lizalfos camp here and they saw me coming from MILES away how even

naturally they've ALL got shock arrows in this very marshy watery area

good thing i can one-shot them.

oooh there's a glowing goddess statue here

ah this is where i offer a farosh scale, like i offered one for naydra and need to offer one of dinaal

weeeeellll i do have 3-4 of them now so i guess so!

i'd hate to miss a shrine and have to come back

holy SHIT there's a thunderspear in here! fair trade my dude! glad i broke one of my swords at the lizalfos camp lol

ah and now this goddess statue will let me trade orbs!! YES

i got 1 heart and 2 things of stamina which means i have 2 full wheels. i can do ANYTHING

i just swam climbed ran and glided with the same burst without putting on special gear it was GREAT

YES i found the horse lake and there's a great fairy here!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCK THATS IS ONE CREEPY LOOKING FAIRY

awww it plays epona's song

ah and i found a stable nearby!! good

there's an obstacle course here that i can do w/ my horse for gear, which i Want, but i SUCK at it, so

omg i made friends with a dog ;w; it follows me around

i tried to feed it meat but no dice

the start screen said something cool about befriending them...i wish i remembered what exactly!

ooh there's a quest here to catch the Giant horse...im gonna try it

im riding jemma now as well :3 these places have easy access for horses and i'm not as compulsive in my investigation of Every Single Thing so thats nice

nooooo there's a lynel in the way ;_;

even IF i snuck past it to GET the horse to REGISTER it i never could

i have to fight it. i have no choice

gotta get jemma out of harm's way first

im so nervous )))):

but i put on my soldier's gear and atk helm and drank a defense elixir and gave myself extra hearts so!!!!! hopefully!!!! it'll be ok!!!!!!!

i did it!!! it actually wasn't even too bad with the elixir and the armor

this is gonna be a long boring walk...highkey tempted to go get jemma but im afraid she would get hurt. and like. i know, i can revive her. but god.

THERE IS

ANOTHER LYNEL LOL

JESUS CHRIST

god i bet this WHOLE LANE is full of them

good thing i didn't bring jemma

beat him!! Not Even That Bad

omg I FOUND THE GIANT HORSE

and it looks just like ganondorf's, which my brother spoiled for me hahaha

IM GONNA CATCH HIM

ohhh my god im so nervous. him Big

i know it takes at least two full wheels to soothe him, which i have, but i brought potions too, like i just happened to cook some up last time

GOD I DID IT but okay jfc this is only the beginning i still gotta get him aaaaall the way back to the stable ;_;

and you have to do it at the slowest speed or he'll buck you i think

oh my god oh my god

we did manage a light trot a few times but i don't wanan risk it too much

i soothe it every time it does what i ask haha and it's given me the hearts many times!! so that's a good sign

so far so good abt halfway there

OH MY GOD A FUCKING THUNDER KEESE KNOCKED ME OFF

and shocked him!! poor baby

fucking HELL he ran away

i caught up to him and thank god he let me get right back on

maybe i'll get off and feed him some apples tbh

thank god i cleared out so many of these enemies beforehand tbh

tho i noticed lol the coyotes ran away from it maybe more things do!!

oh my god so i’ve been seeing bigass skeletons on the ground but they don’t move and i thought it was decoration or w/e, rightbut i rode past one on the way to catch the horse, and rode past it AGAIN on the way back, and IT’S A FUCKING HINOX SKELETON UP WALKING AROUND fuck no i’m glad we’re up on a cluff and it can’t see useven the live ones just sleep all the time my dude what the fuck?

HAHAHA I MADE IT

we took the last third of the way at a light trot so we're making progress!

uh holy shit apparently im already at max bond?? god Damn

oooh my gosh what do i NAME him

ganondorf's horse doesn't have a canonical name...

king of something?? idk if i even have room

thief by itself seems a little underwhelming...

ooh maybe phantom? for phantom ganon

midnight is too common, something with flames or fire could be cool for the mane but

i think phantom is what we'll go with

oh my god i'm trying the obstacle course with phantom and i LOVE this horse he turns SO well

AND once he gets to top speed, which admittedly isn't fast, he can stay there forever bc unlimited stamina!!

i still can't do the obstacle course lol the horse just straight up goes around the things most of the time and i looked up like, tips online, and apparently it's really fucking buggy, so, no. i got better things to do

LMAO so im going up to lake hylia finally and i have already run over so many birds this guy can trample anything hes a Big strong Boy i love him

oh hey there's a zora out here at this island!

ohhhh my gosh dude farosh is here at the lake too !! man he is. so cool

he? she? i saw someone online refer to them as shes

theyre named after goddeses but dragons were always boys in this series

i like girls better tho so

she doesn't stay very long here

like, she leaves very quickly as opposed to down in faron where i've seen her circle many times

oh god im at the ruined village again where i saw my first blood moon... #cursed

at least it's daytime now

OMG A FIRE WIZZROBE IM GONNA GET ME A FIRE ROD YES

omg a super fire rod. a meteor rod. #nice

lol wizzrobes are easy to fight you just use the proper elemental arrow and don't let them see you. if they DO see you you die tho

now that im not pissing myself in sheer terror these ruins make me Sad jesus christ im so sad for all of hyrule

BRUH there's a stone talus here!!!!

ugh i wanted to mark the miniboss spot but im OUT OF STAMPS

guess i can't mark cooking pots after all but with the interactive map + my sheikah sensor if i ever TRULY need to find one that should be ok i guess :/

/unmarks them all, SADLY!

killed the talus without even using any special food, haha - don’t have to be afraid of them anymore! becoming less afraid of red lynels, can’t wait for the day when i’m not afraid of guardians

there's a korok seed puzzle here where you have to roll a boulder UP a hill are yu fucking kidding me

ooh maybe i could have used stasis from up there...lmao fuck

maybe i can use it from down here

i hate using stasis tho like it fucks up your weapons and i know i said i need to break some but that's just WASTEFUL

wow and it didn't do anything from down here anyway. ok i'll just come back to this :/

hey and that's all of lake hylia explored :')

tomorrow: gerudo desert!!!! me: HYPE!!!!!!!

well actually my brother's visiting so tomorrow: amiibo, but. yeah.