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#today: the other shoe has dropped and it's only 6:30 am
hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".
....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.
...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.
I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.
and GOD does This suck
one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude
I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me
but what the fuck dude
why
it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)
but its just so mean
(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.
...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)
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residentrookie · 8 months
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(8/31) prompt: takeout — 1,213 words (implied nsfw) (regulus conveniently forgets to tell james about his birthday) @jegulus-microfic
Regulus wouldn’t say he has a favorite time of day per say, but if he were held at gunpoint and forced to pick he supposes he’d choose somewhere in the range of 5:30 and 6:00 pm. If you asked him why, he’d tell you it’s because he likes watching the sun go down and not because that’s when James Potter stops by his apartment after his daily trip to the gym. 
And it’s definitely not because he always arrives dressed in his tight, slutty tank tops, skin still glistening with a light layer of sweat, salty and earthy and so distinctively James smelling. 
(In truth, it makes Regulus feel fucking insane, but he tries to hide that bit.) 
Today, when he rips open his door at 5:47 he’s met with that exact sight: James, smiling but slightly out of breath, a duffle bag slung over one toned shoulder that’s of course sinfully on display. Seriously, his fucking arms…
“Hi.” 
Regulus smiles back helplessly, the smallest uptick of one side of his mouth. He opens the door wider, tilting his head to invite James inside. They’ve been seeing each other for about a month now (and these evening visits have only been a thing for the past week), but James seems to have a routine already set in place. He toes his shoes off by the front door (Regulus never asked him to, but he must have noticed that Regulus always removes his own and followed suit). The duffle bag comes off his shoulder about five steps inside, set neatly against the wall and out of the way, before he turns to Regulus and gives him “the look.” It definitely belongs in the category of “begging” (Regulus is getting better at identifying that one) but as for what he’s begging for? 
Regulus rolls his eyes but huffs a laugh. “Seriously? Again?” 
If the sex wasn't so good, he'd be forced to believe that James' only reason for coming here was to raid his kitchen.
James’ face grows somehow more pitiful. “I forgot to pack a snack after the gym and I’m starving, Regulus, honestly, or I wouldn’t ask—” 
He would, he’s shameless. Regulus doesn’t mind. 
“Fine. But I’m not cooking you anything tonight. It’s Friday. I don’t cook on Fridays.” 
“Okay, fair.” 
Regulus waves a hand behind him as he saunters to the living room. “Anything in the fridge is up for grabs.” 
“Fuck yes,” James says with the enthusiasm of a growing teenage boy (he’s 25). “You know, I would take this opportunity to shower you with compliments but uh,” he pauses, knowing Regulus’ curiosity will force him to glance back over his shoulder, “I’ll save that for later, yeah?” 
James’ cheeky grin only grows as he watches Regulus’ face get hot. With that, he’s ducking his head down into the fridge and Regulus is left to wonder exactly how fast James clocked his praise kink. He supposes he’s not exactly subtle about it. 
“Hey what’s in this brown box, Reg?” James asks a few moments later, his voice muffled as he rumages through the fridge. “Leftovers? Or takeout?” 
Regulus blinks, remembering. “Oh, uh, neither— that one— actually, that’s—” 
James reappears, his face a mask of confusion as he stairs down into the open takeout box. “Cake?” 
Regulus’ face is burning again, but for a completely different reason. “Um. Yeah.” 
“You don’t eat cake.” 
It's true. Regulus told him that once on a date when James insisted on ordering dessert for them. He’d just forgotten to mention his only exception. 
“Well. I do when it’s my birthday.” 
The takeout container drops from James’ hands, forgotten. He stares at Regulus with utter horror, eyes wide and jaw hanging. 
“Y-your— birthday— When? When the fuck did you have a birthday and not tell me about it?” 
Regulus winces a bit at James’ tone, his brother’s earlier words coming back to him. 
James is a birthday guy, okay? Any chance he gets to celebrate the people he loves is like… like a fucking holiday for him. So just let him have it. 
Okay but I am not a “birthday guy," Sirius, Regulus had pointed out stubbornly. His brother of all people, the only other person with first person insight into their upbringing, should know this by now. Shouldn’t I have a say on who does and doesn’t know about my birthday? It’s not a big deal.  
Sirius had sighed, one of those really put upon exhales that made Regulus roll his eyes at the drama of it all. Whatever, Reg. Tell your boyfriend or don’t, I don’t give a fuck. Just know if you don’t, you’ll regret it. 
Not my boyfriend, Regulus had mumbled, resisting the temptation to add the word “yet.” 
“You were out of town,” Regulus points out to James weakly.
He bats the excuse away. “So this past weekend, then. I was with your fucking brother, he couldn’t have mentioned it?” 
“I asked him not to.” 
“Of course you did. Oh my god, I wouldn’t have gone out of town if I knew, I would have planned something— a nice dinner, like steak or something, or no, you like that Italian place in town— and then we could have had a picnic on the beach because it was a full moon and I could have made chocolate covered strawberries because I know you like those, or actually I could have made you a fucking cake since you seem to eat them exclusively on your birthday.” He pauses his rant, looking increasingly agitated and distressed before turning to Regulus, incredulous. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have— I would have—” 
“James,” Regulus says, stepping back into the kitchen, walking all the way up to him. “James. Hey.” It takes a second for the tension in James’ shoulder to drop completely, but when it does, Regulus continues. “My birthday isn’t— it’s not exactly my favorite day of the year. In fact, I try to treat it exactly like every other day, like there’s nothing special going on at all.” 
“But that’s so sad,” James whispers. 
Regulus shrugs. “Not to me. My parents made my birthdays hell. They were family events. It was about everyone in the world except for the person actually turning another year older and I had to wear fucking ties and I hated them and everyone there. And they never let me eat the cake. It was “for guests.” 
James sighs. “Everyday, I think I can’t hate them more…” 
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Regulus admits. “I should have. I know you enjoy… celebrating.” He bumps James’ shoulder lightly with his fist. When he goes to move his hand, James captures it, holding it to his chest. 
“I want to celebrate you however you want to be celebrated, baby.” James’ voice is soft and warm. Regulus closes his eyes and leans into it. 
“However I want, hm?” he murmurs, his forehead resting against James’ chin. “You mean that?” 
He feels James pull away before looking up, brown eyes engulfing him in a sea of sinful intentions. 
“You know I do.” 
“Thought you were hungry,” Regulus says breathlessly, already pulling them away, backing up in the direction of his room. 
“Believe me,” James tells him shamelessly, “I am.”
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torreshalstead · 10 months
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The Inheritance Clause
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Summary - Tim Bradford had a plan to get out from underneath his father and do some good in his city, but for that he needed his inheritance. His inheritance which he has just found out will not be released unless he is married. His father has a perfect solution - the daughter of one of his factory workers, Lucy Chen.
Notes - for Chenford Week 2023 day 6: Alternative Universe! I hope you enjoy! AO3 Link
‘Father you cannot be serious,’ Tim moaned loudly down the phone. He had been expecting his father’s call today, it was his 29th birthday after all but he had never expected to have such a bomb dropped on him on a day of supposed celebration.
‘I am Timothy, and you’ll do well to remember that it was not I who put this condition in place, you can thank you dear late Grandfather for that,’ his father scoffed, clearly not particularly bothered that his words had just altered the trajectory of his son’s life for good. ‘But I have a plan.’
‘There’s a loophole?’ Time said excitedly, suddenly sitting up straight from where he had been lying across his couch.
‘No, but there is a fellow who works for me who has a daughter…’ his father continued but Tim had switched off. He didn’t want to hear all about some prissy young girl who would happily marry him so she could get a share of the Bradford fortune. He should have known it wouldn’t be as easy as waiting until he was 30 when his inheritance would be finally released and he could step back from Bradford Enterprises and step away from being under his father’s control.
Until this wrench was thrown in the works.
Apparently his grandfather, in his infinite wisdom, had put a clause into the trust fund contract which stated that the money would only be released when Tim turned 30, if he was married. He had no intent on getting married, he didn’t believe in the institution. Everyone in his circle only got married for financial gain, links with other wealthy families and to ensure that the fortunes were properly curated and never fell into the wrong hands. No one got married for love.
So he made up his mind that even if he ever fell in love - which he doubted he would - he wouldn’t be married. His father would try and orchestrate some great match and the girl in question would be some airhead flounce who only cared that the bottom of her shoes were red and her credit card full.
And yet here he was, if he ever wanted to get away from this place he needed his inheritance, he had big plans for that money, positive plans, plans that had nothing to do with Bradford Enterprises and his grandfather had only gone and locked it up so tightly that unless he went against everything he ever believed in, he’d never see a cent of it.
The only reason his father would even be helping him is he expected Tim to invest the funds back into the business and become an official member of the board. Tim had no intention of doing anything of the sort but had never clarified that with his father. Let him think what he wants.
‘Timothy, are you listening to me?’ his father barked.
‘Yes father,’ Tim murmured. He needed to come up with a plan and fast or else he was going to be frog marched down the aisle and goodness knows what would be waiting for him at the other end.
‘So we shall have them over for dinner tomorrow and you can meet her, if all goes well we shall formalise the engagement and you can be wed before the end of next month,’ his father said and before waiting for his son to say anything in response, ended the call.
Formalise the engagement. Wed before the end of the month. Who said these sorts of things. His father, that’s who. The same father who called on his birthday and as Tim fell back into the cushions of the couch realised, one who didn’t wish his son happy birthday once.
‘Sorry Mr Bradford, I thought you were in the office today,’ the quiet voice of his maid Tamara broke through his silence.
‘No carry on Tamara, don’t let me be in your way,’ he said quickly, getting up and grabbing his jacket before heading towards the door. ‘Take a half day today, my treat,’ he added with a small smile. The young girl worked hard and it was the least he could do.
‘Thank you Mr Bradford,’ Tamara said kindly, ‘and happy birthday.’ She smiled as the doors slid shut behind him.
His only birthday wishes were from someone on his father’s payroll, the irony wasn’t lost on him.
——————————————————————————
Tim spent the rest of his day, his 29th birthday, walking around the city. He loved this city, wanted to do some good in it and be a positive presence in the place that he loved. Sure, his father provided employment for a large percentage of the occupants, but he paid them pennies and had monopolised a number of industries so if they wanted to work in that field, they had no choice but to get a Bradford Enterprises pay cheque. Even if that pay cheque barely covered their rent.
When Tim was younger he loved seeing his family name painted across the city; billboards, factories, store fronts - everywhere you looked it was Bradford this and Bradford that. Being the son of a billionaire worked to his advantage as he got accepted easily into his dream school, he was sure his father signed a big cheque but he never questioned it. It added to his ability to bed any girl he wanted, when you can buy them anything they want, you can have your pick. But when he graduated and his father started to train him up in the way of the family business, all the money suddenly felt tainted.
He saw the man he had looked up to all his life treating people like nothing, cutting their wages, upping their rent, slashing their benefits, it was nothing to him. He snapped his fingers and whole streets could lose their income, another snap and the local childcare closed down and all working mothers were forced to find alternative arrangements. The reason Bradford Enterprises had gotten so powerful was undercutting its competitors and not caring who they hurt in the process. Tim was suddenly disgusted that he had flaunted his wealth so much, the money was dirty, hadn’t been earnt through good honest work and the industry wasn’t the glistening beacon of hope that he had thought it was.
For years Tim had thought people were proud to work for Bradford Enterprises, proud that their pay cheques were stamped with his fathers name but he realised that no one had a choice. If you lived in this city then you worked for Bradford, or you didn’t work. Even his maid was technically employed through his father, sure he supplemented Tamara’s income himself and tried to treat her as well as he could, but if his father decided one day to fire her, Tim would be helpless to stop it.
So he had made a plan, when he finally got control of his inheritance, he would take his father down. He was going to provide better paying jobs, better conditions, he was actually going to support the city he loved and the people in it rather than bleeding it dry. His own pay cheque wouldn’t matter, he had enough set aside that he would be fine, he could fully invest his inheritance and everyone would reap the benefits, not just the boss and his golden plated life. He had spent the last 7 years learning the ins and outs of his father’s business, how he had gained his success and just how precarious that success was. He knew he could do it, but without the funds, he would be unable to make the change he needed to.
But now, that was all under threat because he needed to acquiesce to some dead man’s wishes and get married to be able to access what was rightfully his.
By the time he got back to his apartment, fully financed by his father obviously, he had come to the only conclusion he could - he needed his inheritance and to get that, he needed a wife.
—————————————————————————
He dressed for his mother that evening, she would have wanted him to look his best for his future wife. Tim’s mother had passed away just before his tenth birthday, her heart failed according to his father. She was the most loving woman, treated him like a prince and showered him with love. For the first few years after her death, the family home was cold and unwelcoming, his father never allowed visitors of any kind and even the staff were ordered to keep to the shadows and never be seen. He never remarried but something seemed to flip in his father when Tim turned 13, it was as if the shutters were opened and the light was allowed in again. Tim was allowed to talk about his mother again without his father’s glare on him, he was allowed friends over and the staff were allowed to dust and clean in the day - to be honest they were more like his friends than his friends.
He wasn’t sure what his mother would think of this situation, marrying for the sake of a fortune, but he hoped she would be proud of the reasons behind why Tim had agreed to this. He buttoned up his dark green shirt, pulling on a grey suit jacket, a quick glance in the mirror and he decided it was acceptable. If this girl had agreed to marry him anyway, she probably knew what he looked like anyway. His father wasn’t shy about using his good looking son to advertise the business, often wheeling him out to present at conferences and meetings or plaster his face on advertisements.
The dinner was to be held in the large dining room of his father’s penthouse apartment, the floor above Tim’s own apartment. He took a second to steal himself before getting the elevator to the floor above.
‘Timothy, how nice of you to join us,’ his father said loudly once the elevator doors had opened wide into the vast apartment. His father already had a glance of whiskey in his hand - never one to be without a drink in a social situation and he was standing with a man and a woman, both who looked to be unused to the grandeur of the room they were currently in.
Tom Bradford liked everyone to know just how wealthy he was from the moment they walked into the penthouse. It was far larger than a single man needed, full of artwork that he didn’t appreciate, furniture he would never sit on, just knew how many zeros were on the price tag. He used it to suss out the competition, those who were awkward within the space he always knew he could get a cheaper deal with. Those who made comments about the artist or designer, were those he would do business with on an equal level rather than slashing his offering price.
These two clearly fell into the first category, they were dressed nicely but their clothes were from a high street store, both looked like they were too terrified to sit down for fear of making a mess on the furniture that cost more than their house. If Tim had to guess he would say they were the same age of his father, approaching their 60s and he hoped more than anything that it was not the woman he was expected to marry, not to say he was ageist but he had hoped his future bride would be at least somewhere near his own age.
‘Let me introduce you to Patrick and Vanessa Chen,’ his father said with a small smirk playing on his lip as he gestured to the couple.
‘Pleasure,’ Tim said politely, reaching out to shake the hand of the man, Patrick Chen and offering a small nod to his wife.
‘Patrick is one of the foreman in the factory on South Street,’ Tom said. Tim couldn’t even remember what that factory produced, it could have been the one that was making bespoke couches or the one that tinned the beans - they were all factories to him filled with underpaid workers creating merchandise that would be overcharged back to them. ‘Their daughter will be joining us shortly.’
Tim breathed a sigh of relief, there was a daughter. His relief was short lived however as he glanced back to his father and the smirk was still playing on his lips, there was something afoot here and Tim needed to figure out what it was. His father never looked happy unless there was something in it for himself, or he was the one controlling the strings.
‘Lucy was just popping home to change after her shift,’ Patrick spoke up, his wife timidly nodding from next to her. ‘She wanted to look her best.’ There was something about the tone of the man’s voice that was making the hair on Tim’s arms stand on end.
‘I’m sure she did,’ Tom scoffed. ‘Dinner will be served shortly so if you’d like to follow, Stevens will show you to your seats.’ One of the suited man servants stepped forward and led the way into the dining room, but as Tim fell into step behind their guests, his father tugged him roughly to the side.
‘Didn’t want to arrive on time?’ he said under his breath, his anger evident as he spoke through his teeth.
‘I was on time, and the girl isn’t here yet so there is no problem,’ Tim said calmly, not letting his father rile him.
‘On your best behaviour, this deal is as good as done unless she turns up with 3 heads,’ Tom said before leaving Tim alone in the hallway. Just as he straightened his suit jacket where his father had pulled it out of place, the elevator doors dinged as they opened and Tim turned to look. His mouth fell open.
The girl, no woman, who walked out into the middle of the room had to be one of the most gorgeous he had ever seen. She was short, Tim would place her at no more than just over 5 feet, her long dark brown hair tucked behind her ears, and her eyes. Her eyes, even from this distance Tim could see they were the sort of eyes that a man could easily get lost in. She was wearing a pale yellow dress, the flowing material hitting just above her knees.
‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ she said softly, her voice smooth as silk.
‘No, you’re right on time,’ Tim managed to say after a brief moment of tongue tied silence. He strolled over to her and offered her his hand. ‘Tim Bradford,’ he said with a smile, a genuine smile that he didn’t think he would wear this evening.
‘Lucy Chen,’ she said, placing her hand in his and keeping eye contact as he lowered his mouth and his lips connected briefly with her hand.
‘Pleasure to meet you Miss Chen,’ Tim said, standing straight and offering her his arm. She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and led her towards the dining room. Maybe this whole marriage thing wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.
——————————————————————————
The dinner was long and not particularly interesting, neither Tim or Lucy said much, the conversation being dominated by his father with the odd comment from Lucy’s. For all that Tim had noticed about Lucy when she had first walked into the penthouse, he hadn’t noticed how uncomfortable she looked. She barely ate a thing, pushing the delicately prepared food around the plate rather than eating it. A red flag raised for Tim when he noticed her reach for one of the bread rolls on the table and a quick move from Lucy’s mother which Tim suspected might have been a pinch to her side, put an end to that endeavour and her hand withdrew. He wasn’t sure it was his place but he plucked one from the basket and put it on Lucy’s plate without comment, if she wanted a bread roll, she could have one. She smiled timidly at him before breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth.
When the final bowls were cleared from their dessert, his father stood up.
‘Timothy, why don’t you take Miss Chen for a walk in the grounds, her father and I have business to discuss,’ he said firmly. It was a suggestion but not one that Tim had the opportunity to say no to. The term business piqued his interest however, Patrick was a worker in a factory, what business could they have to discuss. Unless it was the business of the marriage.
Tim made a mental note to discuss with his father when their guests had left, just how he and Lucy’s father had come to such an arrangement and what the exact terms of the arrangement were.
‘Miss Chen, would you like to join me?’ He asked her with a smile.
‘She would,’ her father answered quickly, not allowing the girl to speak. Another red flag to Tim, he was starting to have doubts that Lucy had even agreed to this marriage at all. He knew he was on some level coerced into it himself but he still had the opportunity to back out. Sure he would give up his inheritance, his chance at making a change, but it was still his decision.
‘Miss Chen,’ Tim repeated, ignoring her father.
‘I’d like that,’ she said quietly, looking up at him, a silent thank you in her eyes.
He offered her his hand and she accepted, giving them both the grace to leave the dining room and the watchful eyes of their fathers. Lucy’s mother hadn’t said a word all evening, simply nodding in agreement when her husband spoke.
‘Sorry that was a bit awkward,’ Tim said with a chuckle when the elevator doors closed and it was just the two of them.
‘It’s okay,’ Lucy muttered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Tim said, unsure how to broach the subject but it was playing on his mind having witnessed dinner.
Lucy nodded but stayed quiet, her lips pulled into a tight line.
‘Why did you agree to the dinner? To marry me?’
The elevator doors dinged open and the pair stepped out onto the ground floor, the question hung in the air. The lobby wasn’t empty, members of the building staff and other occupants of its many floors were present so neither spoke until Tim nodded at a doorman and the side door into the gardens was opened.
Tim decided not to push the matter, he had obviously made her feel uncomfortable which had been the opposite of his desired outcome. So he changed tack.
‘The gardens here are only for mine and my father’s use, and he is always too busy,’ Tim chuckled. ‘So I guess they are just mine.’ They began to meander their way down the path, the sky was dark but the paths and plants were illuminated by hundreds of small lights dotted about the gardens and strung between the trees.
‘I always knew my father would choose my husband,’ Lucy said after a few more minutes of walking in silence. ‘It’s never been a subject for discussion.’ She spoke so flatly, so devoid of emotion that it troubled Tim.
‘You never wanted to pick your own?’ Tim asked.
‘It was never an option,’ Lucy said with a small shrug. They were still walking, her eyes fixed firmly on the ground but his were locked on to her. There was something interesting about her, something that was drawing him to her and he couldn’t put his finger on it. ‘I either stay at home, or I get married to a man he chooses.’
‘And I’m that man?’ Tim asked.
‘I guess so,’ she shrugged again. ‘He came home from work last week excited about something, more excited than I’ve ever seen and over dinner he said he had found me a husband.’
‘Were you excited?’ Tim asked. He had hoped his future bride would be the one excited for the arrangement, after all he had his own complicated feelings on the matter.
‘To not live under my fathers roof anymore, yes,’ Lucy said absent mindedly and then as if realising what she had said stopped dead. ‘I didn’t mean…’ she said quickly, her voice full of worry as her hand shot up over her mouth.
‘Hey hey, it’s okay,’ Tim said, gesturing to a bench a little way down the path. ‘I’m not asking to catch you out, and I don’t plan to tell either of our fathers what we said down here.’
He took a seat and patted the bench next to him, it took a second but Lucy sat down next to him. He noticed her hands were still trembling slightly as she twisted them in her lap.
‘Lucy, if we are to wed, we must be honest with each other,’ Tim started slowly and she looked up at him, her brown eyes glistening under the strings of lights criss-crossing their way over the path. ‘Do you want to marry me?’
Lucy’s eyes went wide for a moment, the forwardness clearly shocking her. She took a second to consider the question.
‘Can I ask you a question first?’ She said, her voice not quite as timid as it had been before.
‘Ask me anything you like,’ Tim said honestly.
‘Do you want to marry me?’
The words took Tim by surprise, it was a fair question after all and one that he thought he had a clear answer to before he had met her. This marriage was to be about one thing and one thing only, but when she had walked out of that elevator, it started to become about something else as well.
‘Perhaps I should put all my cards on the table,’ Tim said with a small chuckle and when Lucy looked worried he shook his head. ‘Nothing like that but it’s slightly more than just my father picking a bride for me and if you are to be my wife, then you deserve to know it all.’
So Tim spoke, he spoke more honestly than he had ever spoken to anyone. He told Lucy how he had thought his father was a great man and a great business man until he had learned the dirty truth. He explained how he had a plan with his inheritance to help improve people’s lives that his father had all but cast aside, however that plan had hit a roadblock when he learnt of the caveat his grandfather had placed on the money. He told her how originally he had been reluctant, he never wanted to get married and this seemed like one of his fathers schemes, but it was a means to an end.
He paused but decided he had come this far, ‘I originally only wanted a wife so I could get my inheritance, the who didn’t matter to me. I assumed it would be someone who was in it for the money my father would promise them, someone who didn’t care about the people he had hurt to get the money.’ He watched Lucy swallow but she never took her eyes off of him. ‘But then you showed up, and there’s something about you Lucy. I know I probably shouldn’t say it, but you intrigue me. You’re beautiful, but there’s something else and I know my father probably promised you a lot to get you to agree to this but I can promise you that you will be happy with me.’
He wondered if he had said too much, scared her away when she didn’t say anything but in the short time they had been talking he had realised that she thought carefully before she spoke, always worked through what was being said before formulating her reply.
‘Your father never promised me anything,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘I don’t know what he agreed with my father and I know I should care but I don’t.’ She let out a sad laugh and Tim felt his heart clench. ‘I knew getting married would be a way out for me, a chance to live a new life. There’s so much I want to see and do, so much I want to be. But I’ve never been able to.’
‘What do you want to be?’ Tim asked with a smile.
‘You’re the first person to ever ask me that,’ she chuckled and Tim heard her real laugh for the first time. He would make it his mission to hear that beautiful sound everyday if he could. ‘But I want to be a teacher. I want to make a difference, a bit like you I guess.’
‘But your father wouldn’t let you be a teacher? It’s an honourable profession.’
‘He refused to pay for the training so I went to work in the same factory as him, handing over all my wages as a contribution for the household as he called it,’ she scoffed.
‘If you want to be a teacher Lucy, you can be one,’ Tim said with a smile. It felt so unfair that she had had her dream crushed by the man who was supposed to love and take care of her.
‘Really?’
‘I don’t know what sort of husband I will be, it’s never something I thought I’d be, but I will be a good man for you Lucy and the whole reason I am doing this is to pursue my dreams, it seems only fair that you should get to chase yours as well.’
‘You are a good man,’ Lucy said with a warm smile.
‘But Lucy, if you don’t want to marry me. I won’t force you. Whatever deal our fathers have made, I can get it cancelled, this is your decision,’ Tim said firmly, he sensed that Lucy had never been able to make her own decisions in life and he would hate himself if he made this one for her too.
‘I do want to,’ she said quickly. ‘Marry you that is.’
‘Then it is settled, we shall get married. I have one condition though,’ Tim said, thinking quickly.
‘Okay…’ Lucy said wearily.
‘This is a partnership, I want you to be happy in this marriage Lucy, if you want something you can have it, if you need something, it’s yours. That includes as many bread rolls as you can eat,’ he added with a grin and she giggled. ‘If you say this is your chance to be free, then that is what you shall be. And if someday you decide you do not wish to be my wife anymore, then you won’t be. This is your decision, it’s your life Lucy.’
He wasn’t expecting what happened next but Lucy leant across and pressed her lips to his cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured as she pulled back, the tears swimming in her eyes.
‘Do you want to stay out here a little longer or go back upstairs?’ He asked softly.
‘I’d like to stay, if that’s okay,’
‘Then stay we shall,’ Tim smiled and the pair settled into a comfortable silence, somehow happy that the decisions that once had been made for them had been altered and they were now the ones in control. They were the ones who were deciding the future. And they would face it together.
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hyuccubus · 1 year
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15 Tags 15 mutuals
Tagged again by @toribookworm22, which makes me very happy 😊
I don't have a lot of mutuals to tag, though 😶 I'm always looking to change that, I try to follow back, although I have been slacking in searching a little bit.
1. Are you named after anyone?
Funny story abut that, honestly. My father wanted to name me after himself. That would have made my name Teddy, which I would absolutely hate. My mother, whom he was divorcing at the time, hated it as well, and they argued back and forth until my uncle got a book of names from the hospital gift shop and they landed on my previous name, which I still don't have a problem with but is hardly what I'd consider feminine. The surname I use, Allen, is my middle name, which I did inherit from him. I might drop that, too, though, I've been processing a lot of feelings about my dad I couldn't fully come to terms with until he died about two years ago.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Hard? About a week or two ago. Earlier today I teared up during an emotional moment in a Ted Lasso episode. Great show, btw
3. Do you have kids?
Yes, I have one seven year old son. He's a wonderful little guy, and despite my trans-femme identity, I'm proud to be his father for now
4. Do you use sarcasm?
Speaking of having kids, I can say I use it far too much, because he's only just now getting when I'm being sarcastic.
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Typically it's their hair or their fashion sense. I have trouble with eye contact, and I like finding something to compliment about someone that was a choice they made, like their nails or their shoes, that sort of thing.
6. What's your eye color?
Very, very blue
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings. I love scary stories and video games, but scary movies rev up my anxiety too much. I think it's the music, honestly, good sound design makes all the difference, and in video games I still feel in control.
8. Any special talents?
I am very, very, very good at Guitar Hero/Rock Band. 99% likely I am better than everyone else you know. Proof
9. Where were you born?
Louisville, Kentucky, where I've also lived in or near for all of my life.
10. What are your hobbies?
Apart from writing, I spend just about all of my time playing video games. I suppose a more specific thread of that is that I really enjoy emulating video games on their native hardware, which has nothing to do with being pretty poor and not being able to afford retro games that are becoming a speculative market, combined with anxieties about the limited lifespan of physical media. I get a lot of enjoyment out of tinkering with my PS3 or Wii U and making it do something the original creators never intended. The ingenuity of the gaming community never ceases to amaze me.
11. Have you any pets?
Yes, one cat named Piers.
12. What sports do you play/have played?
I was pretty much forced in playing soccer for around 11 years or so. I really like tennis and I'd love to get into more extreme sports like BMX or skateboarding, although given that I'm going to be 30 this year, that'll need to be sooner rather than later 😆
13. How tall are you?
5' 7"
14. Favorite subject in school?
Drama, I'd say. I really like the stage, although I've never had the courage to join any kind of production once I left school. Could be fun if I had the opportunity!
15. Dream job?
Writing for video games, maybe for an indie studio. I don't have much faith in any of the big companies right now
I'll tag @daisywords, since my other new follower already got one from Tori 😋
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88088-8 · 15 minutes
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tbh idk how im taking things these days. the way events have developed... I guess now its confirmed that he was talking to other girls before we even broke up. the girls he then, met up with, and brought to our house. I can't say im surprised. im just again, hurt. multiple times while talking, he got louder, and said "I DID NOT BREAK UP WITH YOU FOR LEXI!!!!" like first of all... no one said that. I didn't consider that possibility until you mentioned it. and I know a few times, (more frequently lately)he would be "going to Seans". never invite me to ride, always be vague about the encounter. If I started asking intently, he would always say it was only Sean there.
Well, come to find out. Sean is not some holed up lonely guy. he apparently has relations with multiple of lexis friends..... not just younger women, his daughters age. but mostly strippers, and people from that walk of life. --- Caleb would go there pretty often to drop off to him. he would get a q (he said) if im not wrong. every couple days. at some point in time I do feel like I remember him mentioning Sean getting a full at some point. I even feel like he mentioned him selling to m** and n**** and of course g*****. because I remember saying then, "wouldn't that kind of take most of your cl****s?" and I never heard about that again.
and then there were times that he came in, and would randomly mention l*xi. "oh my god, I saw **** the other day and she said that the kids ........... " I remember there being another time he mentioned her before easter, but I can't remember what he said.
then easter of course. I realized today while in the closet, that the two pairs of shoes that she put in halies easter basket.... they are both size fucking 8. her exact size. you're going to tell me that she just guessed it right????? fuuuck that. A week later. literally, Easter Sunday, then the following Friday night.. FIVE DAYS LATER. he randomly just chills with her. and she happens to get in his car and ride with him to drop stuff at MY HOUSE while im SLEEEEEEPING.
no no no no.
there was more then wtf I know. there was more talking. there are more lies. and I KNOW that bitch will fucking lie till she's beat stupid because she lied to me even after proof sent to her of my accusations. the VIDEO to be exact. that can't be twisted.
fuck it. I need to get on the I don't even care train. realize that I am better then ALL OF THAAAAAT. like wtf . she tried to randomly move in???? shes just THAT crazy? no. She just grabbed your phone and told you to take your pants off? 30 min after you left my FUCKING DRIVEWAY@!@!!!!!! (Saturday morn @ 3:55 am. the video was timestamped)
y'all spent all that night, into the morning together. got back to your place at 6 am. between then and 3pm you picked up her kids, and her bags on bags of things. your telling me... Caleb fucking Garrett just let all that happen and didn't want it to happen????
text me around 3-4pm and tell me you just picked them up because they ALL got kicked out? which you knew was a damn lie. you wanted to get halie?? bring her to the house with a women and her kids after you fucked her in her MAMAS BED? wHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK---- THE fucking bed she sleeps in with youuuuu.
and if it was terrible and she was so annoying, she wouldn't have been there as long as she was. you would have found a way to get her out. even by force. you've done that to me, why wouldn't she get the same or worse treatment by default? instead, you brought her to my house.....
and you wouldn't have been mean to me the entire time you were with her after I found out.... it wasn't until she was takin to the ER and the other girl wanted to go home, you unblocked me that Monday.
at the end of the day, I know you Caleb. when I found an old letter in a book id forgotten about... you said, "IS IT FROM L**I?? TO ME???" with complete excitement? w h a a a t and then we found her book... "did she write that while she was here" "is that to me" when I read out loud a passage she had written. I don't know if she wrote it, or if it was somet"hing she liked and wanted to read again. but you said "is that to me" like uhm no. its about god bro....
it just makes me sad, because this kind of behavior is what held us back from being so much more THE ENTIRE TIME. just fucking tell me dummy, I am so over the "I don't want to hurt your feelings shit"
and the only reason she got out of your house..... is because she had to go to the ER. And for several days, I asked about her, I was actually praying. You told me she hadnt replied because shes not awake. and Sean told you she was not awake yet. (seizure happened Monday) TRUTH WAS: SHE WAS AWAKE THE NEXT DAY. (tuesday)
and y'all were texting. you called her baby on Tuesday. said you were going to come up there. she sent a picture of her hospital food.
then on THAT Wednesday saw her to give her the bags she left behind that Monday. and lied about THAT. said you hadnt seen her at all since the seizure. told me on like Thursday, when I asked how she was (because I thought she was still in a fucking coma) and you said oh she woke up! shes okay... but truth is you had already talked to her, and SEEN HER AGAIN.
like I am such a fucking idiot for even talking to you.
0 notes
jackrrabbit · 4 years
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Clean /// Sakusa x f!Reader (18+)
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Summary: [College dorm AU] Sakusa can’t stop thinking about you in the shower.
A/N: Indirectly inspired by @seita​ and @bakatenshii​, who made me think about soap and Sakusa’s cum in conjunction…thanks guys :P
Tags/warnings: masturbation, mild cleanliness fetish if that’s a thing?, Sakusa wants you and is in deep denial about it
It’s not like he started doing it on purpose. Not at first.
On weekdays, you wake up at the same time that Sakusa gets back from the gym: 7 AM exactly. He timed it that way because they clean the dorm bathrooms at 6:30—they’re still revolting, but they can’t be as bad as the ones at the gym. He can avoid touching the stall walls if he has to, and…he has to. 7 is the perfect time—even the students with 8 AM class can’t be fucked to wake up that early, so he gets the row of mirrors and stalls to himself.
Except for you.
Your room is right next to the stairwell; when Sakusa jogs up the stairs (two at a time, blood still pumping from his workout even though the sweat is already cooling on his back) he can hear your alarm through the thin wall. Always 7 on the dot: your phone blares an obnoxiously loud ringtone, there’s a muffled protest from you and your roommate curses at you to turn that shit off, it’s seven fucking AM. By the time he’s standing at the bathroom sink brushing his teeth, you’re usually pushing through the door in your pajamas, holding your towel in one hand and rubbing your puffy eyes with the other.
So it’s not like Sakusa plans this. It’s a coincidence. Mostly.
“G’morning…Kiyoomi.” You interrupt yourself with a yawn in the middle of the sentence. Your voice sounds heavy with exhaustion and he wonders, not for the first time, why you bother waking up so early. You don’t seem like a morning person.
The toothbrush is still in Sakusa’s mouth, so he just nods to greet you. You smile sleepily and then bend down to reach your bathroom locker, and—fuck, fuck, you’re wearing the shorts again, the threadbare cotton ones you wear whenever the weather gets a little warmer. They’re thin (so thin he can see the high cut of your panties underneath when they’re stretched over your ass, not that he’s looking), and they’re short.
Do you know how much you’re showing off when you bend over like that to rummage through your locker? You’re basically showing your ass off, the smooth muscle of your thighs rising up into those perfect cheeks, and between them, the dingy cotton stretched tight over your mound—
He’s not looking. He shouldn’t be looking. Sakusa lowers his gaze in the mirror to spit the toothpaste into the sink.
“Hey, can I borrow some of that?”
You’re standing at his elbow now, blinking up at him. Pleading. When he wordlessly hands over the tube, you grin, eyes crinkling up at the corners like he just offered to take your hand in marriage rather than letting you have some toothpaste that he wasn’t going to miss anyway. “Thanks! You’re the best.”
You barely know him. Sakusa’s pretty sure that these early-morning bathroom encounters are the only times you two interact.
“How was your workout?” you ask when you’re done brushing your teeth.
Sakusa has to grip the edge of the counter to tear his eyes away from you when you spit it out—white foam dribbling out of your mouth and down your chin—but that’s beside the point. “It was fine.”
“Yeah? Did you run or go to the gym?”
“Gym.” Why are you so curious? You’re too friendly.
You hum appreciatively, rubbing foamy circles of cleanser into your skin. The smell of it is light—floral, but barely. Lavender, maybe. That’s step one of your morning skincare routine, which Sakusa’s pretty certain he knows as well as you do by now. Next will be toner, and then you’ll save the rest for after your shower—but before you reach for the next little bottle in the row you’ve lined up on the bathroom counter, you turn toward him. “I should get back on a regular gym schedule too. Maybe one day I’ll go with you?”
“If you can wake up that early.” The remark must come out harsher than Sakusa intended, because you raise your eyebrows and your mouth drops open—but a second later you’re smiling again, turning back to the mirror so you can pat the toner into your skin.
“You’re probably right. I don’t know how you wake up at six in the morning every day.”
5:45, he wants to correct. But if he keeps talking to you, you’re going to notice he’s staring. So he just finishes washing his face without answering, puts his stuff back into the locker, and makes his way over to the shower stalls, leaving you and the scent of lavender behind.
There are five stalls. All open, of course. Second from the left has the best water pressure, and the one on the far right has a removable shower head and heats up the quickest. But Sakusa chooses the middle stall. For no reason. Not because he knows exactly which stall you’re going to pick, and he wants to be sure he’s in the stall next to yours when you do. He takes his time—undresses slowly, folding his dirty gym clothes even though they’re going straight into the laundry; sets his shampoo and conditioner and body wash out on the bench in the order that he’s going to use them; turns the knob to just the right angle to get the right temperature and waits for it to heat up until he can see the steam saturating the air.
By the time Sakusa’s under the water, massaging shampoo through his hair and feeling the sweat slough off his skin along with the shower spray, you’re done with your pre-shower skincare, padding over from the sinks to the stalls and picking—predictably—the one next to his. He has to strain himself to hear it over the sound of splashing water but he does hear it: your cheap pink flip-flops slapping against the tile floor, the relieved yawn in your breath as you stretch (you always stretch) and the soft rustling of fabric as you take off your clothes and deposit them in a heap on the bench.
Sakusa tilts his head up into the shower spray and feels the stray drops clinging to his eyelashes and wonders how much he’d be able to see if the walls were made of glass.
Today is Wednesday, and that means you’re going to wash your hair today because you always wash it on Wednesdays. Sakusa can already smell the shampoo you use filtering into the air. What is it? Sharper and more bitter than mint, medicinal almost—he’s considered asking you a few times what it is, but he can’t figure out a way to phrase the question.
Hey, (Y/N), tell me what product you use to wash your hair. Ever since I started jacking off in the shower to you, I can’t get off unless I’m smelling it.
That probably wouldn’t go over well.
Fuck, he’s already hard. The heat of the shower is nothing compared to the heat of his blood pumping down to his cock. Sakusa rinses through his hair quickly, freeing up his hands so he can palm his shaft and give it a tentative stroke.
Through the shower wall you give a light, soft sigh of appreciation, and Sakusa feels his cock jump in his hand. You prefer your showers hotter than he does—white puffs of steam are rising up over the gap between the stall divider and the ceiling, and you always come out flushed. The heat must feel nice, hm? He can almost see you, standing naked under the shower head in just your stupid pink flip-flops, letting rivulets of water drip down from the crown of your head to flow lower…over your shoulders, your back, your tits; your fingers lathering the shampoo through your hair, soap bubbles washing the grease away from you, draining away yesterday’s grime so you’re all fresh and squeaky clean.
You sigh again, and your voice is pushing out behind the breath. A moan, almost. Do you ever touch yourself in the shower? He’d be a hypocrite to think you shouldn’t be able to take advantage of this rare moment of privacy…it’s so hard to get time to yourself in the dorms, he can sympathize… So maybe you let your hands dip lower while you wash, shift your thighs apart so you can fit your fingers between them. Pet that puffy little cunt, push your fingers inside, feel your slick wash off in the water just to be replaced with more.
Sakusa wraps his fingers around his cock and slides his hand up the shaft, moving slowly so he can savor the light friction. Your hands would be soft, wouldn’t they? Softer than his. You don’t have calluses like he does—all that lotion you use must be doing you some good. And your hands are a lot smaller than his are…you’d probably have trouble getting one hand all the way around. You’d have to use both hands to hold him, hold his cock and pump him, jack him off…
If your hands are too small for him, what about your mouth?
The shower is so warm and you’re so close. Sakusa closes his eyes so he can breathe in that sweet medicinal smell and imagine you in here with him.
Your mouth. Soft lips, no makeup, just your natural color dampened from the water and your spit and his precum, closed around him, stretched around him to accommodate for the mass of his cock sitting in your mouth. Little pink tongue flicking out to tease the tip, lapping flat at the underside and then kissing it. You’d be a tease, a fucking tease. Looking up at him with those eyes, batting your eyelashes over your dewy-wet cheeks as you try to swallow him a little deeper. He’d tangle his fingers around the back of your head, push the strands of wet hair away from your face, pull your mouth up and down on his cock while the water splashes down around the two of you—
There’s a click of a cap popping shut and your shoes smacking wetly against the floor while you reach over to grab another bottle. You’re humming to yourself—a song Sakusa’s heard on his friends’ playlists and at parties but he doesn’t know the lyrics. Sometimes you sing in the shower (always softly, under your breath, so quiet he’d barely be able to hear if he wasn’t listening) but today you just hum. Maybe you’d sing out loud if he wasn’t there?
You’re probably being considerate to him...you do seem like the type. After all, you must be as aware of his presence three feet away from you as he is of yours. You probably think about him in the shower too.
Sakusa’s hips buck forward, pushing his dick through his hand as he pumps it with no real technique or rhythm, just trying to match the pace of his breathing to what he can hear of yours. The heat of his impending climax is coiling low in his belly, even though it hasn’t been long—it never takes long when he’s thinking about you. You’ve practically become a part of his own morning routine, to the point where he couldn’t even get off when he went home for spring break a few weeks ago. When the two of you move out of the dorms and go your separate ways, it’s going to be annoying. He should really stop this, wean himself off you while he can…not that he really wants to.
Your voice isn’t bad when you sing, but it’d be a lot better moaning his name.
People fuck in the showers. Sakusa knows that, he’s heard them himself and always been acutely disgusted at the filth of it all. Dorm bathrooms are notoriously foul—there’s a reason people wear shoes when they’re showering, and the thought of people actually fucking in here makes his skin crawl. But with you? He can see it, he can feel it—the soft fat of your thighs in his hands, skin dimpling under his grip as he holds you up; your arms twisted around his neck hugging into him; the hot water streaming over both of your bodies as his cock slaps into your pussy, burying into that tight wet heat.
Sakusa grits his teeth to stifle a groan and wonders if you heard it, and then he’s feeling around for the memory of your sleepy “Good morning, Kiyoomi” and warping your voice in his mind until he can almost hear your lips wrapping around his name, panting it, whimpering it, choking it out between pleas for him to fuck you harder—Kiyoomi, please, fuck me fuck me just like that, fuck my little pussy til I can’t walk straight Kiyoomi I need you!
God, he wants to hear it, he wants to say your name, wants you to know he’s jacking off to you. Sakusa’s hand speeds up and his hips are thrusting into his fist, the water making wet clicking noises every time his cockhead moves up past his fingers as he imagines fucking you right here in this shower. He’d make you cum, make you clench and tighten around him, make you wake up the entire goddamn floor with your screaming, and—fuck, he’s mouthing out the syllables, and then he can hear his own voice out loud and he’s saying your name—
“K-Kiyoomi?”
Your actual voice—lifted, high and clear as a bell ringing even stifled by the stall and the rushing water hits Sakusa and he flinches—and cums, cock jerking under his grip as the sticky white fluid shoots out to coat his hand. It’s good, so good, so fucking good, you said his name, you said it, fucking perfect—the release passes over him so forcefully that he has to hold his breath to bite back the stuttered hiss of pleasure from deep in his throat.
“Kiyoomi?” you ask again from the other stall, voice uncertain. “Did you say my name? I thought I heard you…”
It takes him a long moment to catch his breath, and another to work up enough control to straighten and raise his hand to the spray, letting the cum wash off his skin and down the drain in cloudy white trickles. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, sorry! Guess I imagined it.” You’re back to your cheerful self, humming that brainless melody and soaping yourself up without a care in the world. So gullible. Like always. And it’s not like Sakusa wanted to get caught, but…he can’t help wondering what you’d do if you knew.
Maybe you’d hate him. Maybe you’d call him a creep, stop showering when he does, avoid his gaze when you pass each other in the halls.
Or maybe you’d be into it.
Sakusa finishes his shower at the same time you do, so he can catch you just as you step out of the stall. “Oh—“ you start, barely keeping yourself from bumping into his chest. “Oops!”
Your face is stained pink from the heat of the shower…or maybe it’s the way you’re staring at his bare chest that’s making you blush. Sakusa’s not flattering himself—he knows he’s good-looking, knows what the years of athletics have done for him, and you are staring—but just for a moment before you catch yourself and right your gaze back up to his face, absently watching him towel off his hair. The fact that you let your eyes stray a little gives him permission to do the same, so he takes a moment to examine the lines of your shoulders, your soaked hair sticking to your neck, the dip of your cleavage under the fluffy white robe you’re wearing.
You smell good, all soft and wet and clean. Sakusa can’t help imagining if you taste that good, too.
“Um…s’cuse me,” you say after a moment when he doesn’t move to let you pass through the walkway. You could try to skirt around him, but he’s so big.
“What shampoo do you use?”
You blink and pat your hair self-consciously. “It’s, uh, tea tree oil? It has peppermint and lavender and stuff too I think, it’s really good for waking up in the morning—sorry, I know some people don’t like the smell—“
“No, it doesn’t bother me.” Sakusa’s eyes narrow before he steps out of the way to let you walk past.
I like it, he wants to add. But he doesn’t.
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chai-ssi-latte · 3 years
Text
Prompt 16
Chris Evans
About: Just Chris being jealous about the kind neighbor.
Masterlist | Prompt List | Masterlist (Taylor Swift Songfics)
Send a tip here :) | Donations/Tips are not required but is very much appreciated :> It will help me support myself in uni and my studies :)
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Gif not mine :)
“Thank you!” You said as you closed the doors and inhale the smell of the fresh flowers you’re holding. The neighbor had collected all the grown flowers in their yard. While some of them were sold in the market, half of it was distributed in the neighborhood. 
Your neighbor has always been a kind woman. Most of the time, she would drop off lunch and snacks at your house, saying that she made too much. You’re not complaining though, she’s a great cook and every food she gave you and Chris had always tasted amazing.
You made your way towards the kitchen, and taking out a vase from one of the cupboards. “It’s so pretty.” You said while laying down the flowers on the table. Cleaning up the vase, you filled it halfway with water then gently putting in the flowers one by one.
You couldn’t help but admire the colors of the fresh roses she gave you. There were pure whites, some with a hint of pink at the bottom, then there’s deep blood red and bright reds. Beautiful, that’s the only word that came to your mind when she handed it to you.
One vase wasn’t enough for the flowers so picked up two more vases, one smaller than the other so you can put it on the coffee table located in the living room. It’d be nice to have the fake succulent there to have a friend, even for just a few days.
~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~
“Honey, I’m home!” Chris walked in the home, dropping his bag by the door. I’ll clean that up later, he thought. “Honey!” He called out while slipping off his shoes. Weird. You usually answer right away or even run to give him a hug after his second call.
Chris slumped on the couch, seeing a new vase filled with roses on top of the coffee table. 
Helping out our neighbor for a bit.  I made lasagna if you’re hungry. Love you x
The neighbor again, huh? 
“Well, yes, missy. I am indeed hungry.” Chris mumbled. The smell of fresh roses hit Chris as he walked in the kitchen. How many flowers did the neighbor give today? How hard is he trying to woo my girlfriend?
Chris’ hunger seemed to go away. He made a bee line back to the living room, deciding to just watch a show while he wait for his girlfriend. 
He was halfway through a movie that he didn’t even bother paying attention to when you went home. Chris was constantly looking at the clock hanging on the wall. It has been three hours since he arrive home and you’re still outside. It’s almost 6 in the evening and Chris promised that if you don’t go home by 6:30, he’ll be picking you up. It would be nice to see the neighbor that you keep talking about anyway.
Before the clock hits 6, you walked in. 
“Hey!” You gave Chris a peck on the cheek before going to the bathroom. The sound of water running echoed when Chris turned off the TV. 
“What were you watching?” You asked. You were drying your hands and arms as you sat down next to Chris.
“What’s with the flowers?” was what Chris replied.
“Oh!” Your eyes lit up. “Do you like them? Our neighbor dropped it this afternoon. They’re so pretty, aren’t they?” You brought your face close to the roses and smelled them. “Smells good too.”
“I’ve never met this neighbor. Why is he always giving you stuff?”
You missed the word ‘he’ as you snuggled to Chris’ arms. “I miss youuu...”
“You didn’t answer me.”
“Right, what was it again?” You mumbled. Your eyes getting droopy as you hug Chris tighter. You helped Abby a lot, the neighbor that you happened to catch the name just today; from trimming the plants all the way to sowing the land and planting new seeds. It was fun though, you told Abby that you’ll gladly help her again next time.
“The neighbor...”
“Ah yes. We planted new seeds today. I decided to help ‘cause I was bored.” 
“How come I never met this neighbor.” Chris almost rolled his eyes. Is he hiding from him? Does he even know that Chris Evans is his neighbor?
“You’ll meet Abby soon, for sure. Don’t worry, she’s really kind.”
Chris wanted the couch to swallow him whole. What the f-? Our neighbor is a woman? Stupid, Chris, of course she is! Abby was probably the neighbor that you always passed by watering the plants. Chris thanked God for you being clueless about his jealousy. He would’ve added it to the list of embarrassing things he had done while in this relationship.
“Tell Abby to-” Chris stopped talking when he saw your eyes closed. Your peaceful state and light breathing put a smile on his face. It must have been a long day with Abby. Chris gave you a kiss, picking you up. You stirred a little but fall back asleep quickly. 
What did I do to deserve you? Chris thought as he made his way to the bedroom.
Hi :) it’s me again. Enjoy this prompt that I randomly typed down while on a study break. Thanks for all the likes from my latest work! You’re all amazing!!
Stay safe, always
~chai 
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btswrckd · 3 years
Text
War of Hearts II
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Mafia Boss!Taehyung x Fem!Reader
Summary: Being in an arranged marriage with Kim Taehyung does not mean you have to be civil. Or make his life easy.
Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions o weapons, mentions of blood, slight angst, next chapter will be smut
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Taehyung isn’t sure how you can sleep through the night after the little stunt you’d pulled, but he finds himself tossing and turning through most of it. When he does finally manage to fall asleep at the fun hour of 3 o’clock in the damn morning, he’s woken an hour later by the dipping of the bed from your side. “Going somewhere, princess?”
“I have to pee,” you snap, “or will you be holding my hand to the bathroom as well?”
“Is that an invitation?” He grins, tucking one arm behind his head. Huh. Maybe you aren’t as well rested as he thinks. Maybe you’d spent the night just as frustrated. At least he isn’t alone in that.
“Shut up, Tae.” You stomp across the room and slam the bathroom door behind you. You can hear him laughing from the other side and silently contemplate shoving him off the bed when you return. You hadn’t slept, body anticipating his touch every time he moved but it never came and then you’d deflate in disappointment. You don’t know what time he plans on starting his day and hope it’s soon because you need space. You need room to think back on last night and figure out where the hell your sudden boldness came from. Where had you gotten the idea to touch him from? You were pretty bitter about the incident in the living room, sure, but to play a dangerous game like that? 6 months ago, you wouldn’t even dream of it. Now you’re panicking in the privacy of your personal bathroom because what, you actually want to sleep with your husband? You’re fairly sure you won’t be the first woman having sex with her own husband, but still, it was Taehyung. Tae. The chubby cheeked little kid who’d been your partner in crime at boring dinner parties that both yours and his parents attended. What kind of audacity did he have becoming so fucking attractive? Who allowed this?
“Are you going to actually use the restroom?” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he leans against the doorway. “Or can I brush my teeth?”
You didn’t hear him open the door. You hadn’t even locked it like you usually do. You’d forgotten and that irritates you. It means you’re letting your guard down when you can’t afford to. Not today of all days. You look at him, see the hunger swirling in his eyes, and your stomach drops because it’s been a very long time since any man has looked at you like that. “What time is it?”
“4:30,” he responds with a sigh, rolling his neck to release the tension that built overnight. “Why are you up so early, princess?”
“Why are you?” you fire back quickly and see him grin. He’s always known that you have a habit of deflecting when you can’t answer a question or explain yourself. His eyes drift down to the purple bruises around your neck, a lasting result from his mouth yesterday, and he smirks. You step back when he pushes off the door jamb and stalks forward, lightly gripping your chin.
“I wasn’t able to sleep,” he answers your question, “because my wife likes to play games and leave me with the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.” He watches your breath hitch and his smirk grows wider. “Then she runs into the bathroom and forgets to lock the door after winning said game from last night. As if I won’t come in, bend her over the sink, and play my own little game.”
“Just brush your teeth, Taehyung!” you squeak, shoving at his chest and rushing out of the bathroom before your mouth has a chance to ignore your brain, and most likely ask what kind of game he’s talking about. You throw yourself on the bed and burrow beneath the blankets in hopes of disappearing.
Taehyung doesn’t actually brush his teeth. He didn’t really need to. It was the only excuse he had for checking up on you after 30 minutes of silence. He does, however, splash cold water on his face to cool the heat spreading through his body. Last night is still very fresh in his mind and just being near you sets him off. He makes his way back to bed, falling onto the mattress and praying he’ll get a few more hours of sleep.
You peek out from underneath the blankets when he sighs, burying his face into a pillow. His nose scrunches up in discomfort. You know that it’s because he can’t fall asleep, can’t stop thinking about last night, despite having to be up soon to do...whatever the hell he does. Truthfully, you won’t be falling asleep either, even though you really need to if you’re going to pull off what you have planned for the day. Scooting closer, you see his eyes drift open in silent question, but you dip beneath the weight of his arm and tuck your head to his chest. His breathing stops for a moment before his hold tightens and he shifts onto his side, nuzzling his face into your hair. It’s this way, snuggled up to Taehyung, that you finally fall asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.
The shrill ringing of the alarm clock has you jumping in Taehyung’s embrace. You swear you had just shut your eyes before the screeching woke you, but looking at the time, you see that it had actually been 4 hours later. Taehyung blindly reaches for the clock, pressing random buttons until it finally quiets down and wrapping his arm around your waist once more. The shuffling of feet outside the bedroom door alerts him to Jungkook’s presence and the hushed tones of someone asking how he’s still alive alerts him to Jimin’s company as well. Right. He’d forgotten that they’d be taking you on another book haul after he’d ruined the one from yesterday.
At first, he had shut down the idea entirely when Seokjin texted him after his shower. Seokjin insisted that you be out of the house by the afternoon and Taehyung insisted on tearing his head off if he kept on with that nonsense. But Seokjin had just gotten a call from Namjoon and Hoseok that they were on their way back, and that they’d contacted Cecil for a meeting. To which Taehyung responded by reiterating that you needed to stay in the house until it was dealt with. He doesn’t remember how Seokjin had convinced him to let you go, but he had, and now he’s supposed to wake you up to get ready when he doesn’t want to.
“Princess,” his voice is groggy and barely audible, but you stir nonetheless. “Jungkookie and Jimin are going to take you somewhere today.”
“Where?” you mumble into his chest, brushing the tip of your nose beneath his chin.
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises.” You shift against him, tossing one leg over his hip.
“This one you will.” He smiles against your hair and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s not like you to deny going out.”
“When I have more energy to burn, I like going out.” You don’t know why, but you’re working your mouth against the skin of his neck, teeth playfully nipping at him. “Not when I’m running on 4 hours of sleep.”
“Even if it means getting to pick out a new book?” He teases, and you’re up in a flash, stumbling to the bathroom to get ready. Your love for books and knowledge rivals Namjoon’s and between the two of you, Taehyung isn’t sure how there’s not a daily debate on whatever topic either of you bring up. Yesterday, when you’d rifled through half the shelves at the store, you resembled a kid in a candy store.
“Boss.” Jimin knocks on the door as Taehyung gets out of bed to answer it. He grins at Taehyung when he sees the look on his face. “Morning, boss. How’d you sleep?”
“Don’t let her out of your sight,” Taehyung snaps at him in return, yet Jimin merely laughs. “I don’t care if she brings home the whole fucking store, as long as she makes it home, am I understood?”
“Yes, sir.” Jimin nods, side eyeing one upset looking Jeon Jungkook and gesturing to him. “If it makes you feel any better, Taehyung, you’re not the only one who thinks she should stay in.”
“Are you saying she should be out and about with everything that’s going on?”
“I’m saying that despite whatever progress you’ve made as a couple,” Jimin clarifies, “if she continues to feel suffocated, she’ll lose her mind. You’ve seen it happen.”
Taehyung opens his mouth to argue with him when you duck beneath his arm, fresh faced and dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, a jacket hanging over your arm, and the backpack you’re sure to fill with books. You step up next to Jungkook, nudging his side with your elbow and not so subtly tilting your head Taehyung’s way.
Jungkook looks like he’d rather vomit than say whatever is lingering on his tongue, but you pin him with a look that says he’d better spit it out. “Yesterday,” he clears his throat and looks to his feet as he addresses Taehyung, “I was out of line, boss.”
Jimin reels back in shock, Taehyung following his lead. Jungkook is still young and while he makes for a great marksman and an even better fighter, his mindset can be hard to crack through. Though he’d never been defiant against Taehyung, he could still be stubborn in his ways and would sooner chew off his own arm than admit he was wrong. So, this is what you were up to last night. Taehyung had known you’d been texting Jungkook, he just didn’t know what about and had honestly forgotten all about it until now.
You give Jungkook another hard nudge and when he shakes his head, you stomp on the top of his foot. Both Jimin and Taehyung raise their brows at the way you dig your heel in until Jungkook finally caves and lifts his foot to get you off.
“Arlight!” Jungkook hisses in pain and resists the urge to kick off his shoe to see if you’d broken any bones. “I shouldn’t have overstepped and it won’t happen again.”
“Let’s go,” you announce with satisfaction and shoulder past Jungkook, who limps after your retreating figure.
Jimin waits until you’re both out of sight to throw his head back and roar with laughter, nearly toppling over as he wheezes. “Sh-She really made him apologize. She got the most stubborn person on the planet to say he’s sorry. Oh, my God, I really think she’s my new favorite person.”
“She most likely did it for his benefit more than mine.” Taehyung is still unable to fully process what just happened. “Losing Jungkookie as her bodyguard would devastate her.”
“Even so,” Jimin gasps as he tries to catch his breath, “she still got him to admit he was wrong. That was gold. I should have recorded it.”
“Yoongi probably already did.”
-------------------------------------------------
Namjoon and Hoseok arrive back at the house not long after you leave, refusing to believe Yoongi’s tale of Jungkook’s apology.
“No way.” Hoseok shakes his head. “Jungkook would rather shoot himself in the foot than admit he was wrong.”
“Hobi’s right,” Namjoon agrees with a nod. He’s sitting in the chair next to Yoongi’s in the security room while Taehyung and Seokjin prepare for Cecil’s visit. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Then I suppose it’s a good thing I got it on camera.” Yoongi snickers, pulling up the feed from this morning and pressing play.
Namjoon and Hoseok simultaneously wince when you shove your foot into Jungkook’s and put a good amount of pressure on it for some time. They listen to Jungkook apologize without really using the words ‘I’m sorry’, but it seems to be good enough for you. It’s when he limps after you that Namjoon and Hoseok share an amused look before bursting into laughter.
“Jimin is so lucky he was there.” Hoseok wipes at an invisible tear as Seokjin steps into the room with a questioning look.
“Do you 3 mind getting your asses in gear and getting the hell out here?” Seokjin scolds them. “Cecil just pulled through the gate.”
Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi right themselves before following Seokjin to the living room where Taehyung is already waiting. They move to stand behind him just as Cecil strolls in through the foyer. All but Taehyung sneer at him and the two men at his side.
Cecil is an old, sweaty, greasy excuse of a man that couldn’t be more than 5’5. He’s balding, though he attempts to cover it up with a toupee, his stomach hangs over the waistline of his pants, and he smiles with crooked and yellow teeth. Even his appearance could be looked past if he wasn’t such a piece of shit person. Before Mr. Kim had gotten involved, Cecil had dabbled in human trafficking, mostly targeting women and girls 13 and older. When Mr. Kim had begun building his empire, Cecil was desperate to work underneath him, but Mr. Kim had demolished the trafficking ring Cecil had run in response. Cecil had exploded and accused Mr. Kim of being a hypocrite when Mr. Kim himself had dealt in drugs and assassinations. Mr. Kim admitted to being an awful person, but neither he nor anyone wishing to work with him would ever deal in people. Needless to say, Cecil had never gained Mr. Kim’s trust and very few people chose to work with Cecil anymore. Everything about this poor excuse of a man is nauseating.
“Kim,” Cecil greets with a sneer of his own, “you’re very much like your father, aren’t you? Sticking your nose in my business where it doesn’t belong.”
“Your business with the Seong family is my business, Cecil.” Taehyung peers at the two men flanking either side of Cecil. “What do you want from them?”
“Who says I want anything?” Cecil taunts. “I saw a pretty face and wanted it for my collection. I wasn’t aware she was a Seong girl.”
“And my wife,” Taehyung informs through clenched teeth. “You were aware that this is my home, and that she lives here, so why the fuck are you really circling around here, you greasy son of a bitch?”
“I knew this was your home when my boys scoped it out.” Cecil nods, observing the living room carefully. “I just thought the Seong brothers put her under your protection. I had no idea she was your new whore.”
Fire flashes in Taehyung’s eyes, nostrils flaring, as he steps in Cecil’s direction. “My original plan was to find out what you wanted and be done with you. Now the only way you’ll be leaving here is in pieces.”
Namjoon and Hoseok advance on the two men Cecil has with them. The men fight, but they’re no match for Namjoon and Hoseok, going down quite easily. Seokjin and Yoongi draw their guns quickly, both cocking back the firing pin as Cecil panics.
“I’m not the one that’s after her!” Cecil admits, hands raised in surrender. “I don’t know who is!”
“Don’t fuck with me, Cecil.” Taehyung raises a hand to stop Seokjin and Yoongi from pulling the trigger.
“I’m not!” Cecil insists. “It’s like this, okay? I’m sitting in my office one day, giving over some books for a new product I want to move when I get a call from a number that’s untraceable. They tell me to look into the Seong family, that there’s only one living girl left, and they want to get their hands on her. They tell me I’m the only one who can get it done, and they wired $1 million into my account as payment, but by the time I got to the Seong brothers, the girl was gone. She’d been moved and I told them that the next time they called. They were the ones who told me where to find her, they were the ones who set up the plan to trick your cameras, I just had the perfect lackey, that’s all.”
“What else do they want from her?” Yoongi is the one to ask, hand shaking with rage at the thought of someone getting to you.
“They didn’t say. Just that they wanted her.”
“Boss.” Namjoon looks panicked, and Taehyung is about to ask why when the sound of the front door opening hits his ears.
“Fuck,” Taehyung hisses, swiftly barreling into the foyer. He relaxes when he finds that his father is the one coming through the door. “Dad, you should have called.”
“I did.” Mr. Kim pats his son’s shoulder. “Y/N said she was out and that you’d be busy at home.”
“Why did you call Y/N?”
“Because she’s my daughter-in-law,” Mr. Kim states as if that should have been enough of an explanation, “whom I happen to adore very much, so if you’re done lecturing me, then shall we proceed?”
Taehyung guides his father back to Cecil and his unconscious men, nodding his head at Namjoon when he’s met with a questioning raise of Namjoon’s eyebrow.
“Mr. Kim.” Hoseok beams at Taehyung’s father as he looms over one of two beaten men.
“Always a pleasure, Hoseok.” Mr. Kim returns his smile fondly before turning his attention to Cecil. “I’m not at all surprised that you’re behind this, Cecil. I am, however, surprised that you were stupid enough to believe you could get away with it.”
“My men are expecting me back soon,” Cecil informs the room and is less than enthused to find that Mr. Kim’s smile has not faltered. “If I’m not back, they have orders to swarm this place and swoop down on your girl, Kim.”
“Of course.” Mr. Kim nods at his declaration in the same way a mother would do to a child that’s spouting a lie. “I believe you, Cecil, I truly do. Unfortunately for you, there are no men left to wait for you.”
“What have you done?”
“It’s been brought to my attention that perhaps I’ve been too lenient with you and that I’ve killed men for far less than you’ve done. I plan on fixing that, starting with the complete eradication of your entire syndicate. Well, what’s left of it, anyways.”
“This is your son’s mess,” Cecil bellows, feeling his knees shake at the new information being given to him. If what Mr. Kim said rings true, then he won’t be able to rebuild. He’d already been hanging by a thread as is. “But here you are to clean it up for him while he runs around playing ‘boss’. Pathetic.”
“This isn’t a mess,” Mr. Kim corrects him with a dangerously straight face. “Nor is it something for my son to handle on his own when it affects the entire family. This is us coming to a solution for a problem that will soon cease to exist.”
Hoseok and Namjoon rush to Cecil with a wave of Mr. Kim’s hand, gripping him by the shoulders and dragging him back through the front door to Mr. Kim’s waiting car. They wrestle him into the back seat where two of Mr. Kim’s men sit patiently.
“You’re sure all of his men are dead?” Taehyung asks his father.
“Every single one,” he assures. “We’ll handle Cecil from here. It’ll get bloody and your mother’s used to seeing it on my hands. Y/N hasn’t had to clean you up after a job yet, I’d like to help you keep it that way.”
“Cleaning him up isn’t exactly what she’d do,” Hoseok jokes upon his return to the living room. “More like make him sleep on the couch.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes while his father and Hoseok share a laugh. He doesn’t argue against Hoseok’s joke because it’s true. Though it would be more from being pissed off that he’d get into a fight in the first place than it would out of concern for staining an expensive set of sheets. When his phone rings, he barely hears it over the ruckus that is his father and idiot friend, but he fishes it from his pocket when he finally does hear it. “Jungkook.”
“She��s gone,” Jungkook is panting from having run around the entire bookstore and then around the entire neighborhood.
“What the fuck do you mean gone?!” Taehyung’s voice booms so loud that Seokjin and Yoongi drop the two men they’d been working on disposing of. “Where?! How?!”
“She went to the restroom, but never came out.” Jungkook can feel his chest tightening with each passing minute. He needs to find you. Not just for the sake of his own life. For the desperate need to make sure you’re still alive yourself. “We took all the precautions. No one was in there when she went in. We kept watch, boss, I swear on my life. She just never came out.”
Yoongi doesn’t need to be told to hop onto his tablet and tap into your phone. His fingers are already racing across the screen when Taehyung turns to him. Mr. Kim is rushing out with his own phone to his ear, barking orders to search the entire city, shut it completely down if need be. Namjoon, Hoseok, and Seokjin feel helpless when all they can do is wait for Taehyung’s command. They could attempt to hack your phone, but that’s what Yoongi’s for, and if he can’t find you then they for damn sure won’t be able to.
Taehyung is running through every possibility in his head and finds nothing to clue him in as to where you could be. Yoongi’s frantic ‘I found her!’ has everyone gathering around him, Taehyung’s nostrils flaring at the location on the screen. He still has Jungkook on the phone, informing him that, “We know where she is, Jungkook, calm yourself now. Get Jimin and meet me back at the house as fast as you can. We’re going to pick her up.”
“You want us to ride with you?” Namjoon asks, the concern in his eyes quickly morphing into anger. If anything had happened to you…
“No,” Taehyung sighs as he hangs up the phone. “I want Yoongi and Hoseok to go talk to the Ahn brothers. They have eyes and ears everywhere. I’m sure they can give us some answers.”
“I’d rather go with you,” Hoseok chimes in. “Y/N has a tendency to listen more when I’m there.”
“Everyone has a tendency to listen more when you’re around, Hoseok,” Seokjin points out.
“Which is exactly why you’re going with Yoongi to the Ahn brothers.” Taehyung begins dialing his father’s number into his phone, hoping to stop him before his men turn over the entire city.
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It’s the second month of your marriage when you finally get your phone and laptop back. You comb through both of them to make sure they still work the way they’re supposed to. Yoongi had promised that he didn’t delete or alter anything and you’d snorted in denial. Taehyung had taken them for a reason and if Yoongi was the one returning them, then they’d both definitely been tampered with. You were holed up in your room for hours, answering emails and text messages, scrolling through Instagram and Facebook to catch up on your friends’ lives, editing pictures that you’d promised Soyoung weeks ago, and called the HR department of your job to confirm if you even still had one. They had seemed confused by your questions and had let you ramble on like an idiot before informing you that the leave of absence paperwork you’d submitted had been approved, and they were looking forward to whenever you were ready to return. It was after the phone call that you realized Taehyung had been the one to submit LOA papers on your behalf. That sneaky little son of a---.
“Y/N?” The tapping of Jungkook’s fingers on your door startles you. “Dinner’s ready. You haven’t eaten all day. If anything’s gone wrong with your phone or laptop, Yoongi will fix it. So, please come out and eat something.”
Your heart melts at his tone, looking to the bedside alarm clock to find that it was nearing 9 o’clock in the evening. Resisting the urge to face palm, you scramble out of bed and race for the door, throwing it open. “I’m sorry, Jungkook, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Is everything okay?” He steps back to give you space to move, shutting the door behind you and following along to the dining room. “Is there a problem with your stuff?”
“No, no,” you sigh, shaking your head and running a hand through your already messy hair. “I just lost track of time catching up on some things. I didn’t realize how late it was.”
“Didn’t you get hungry at all?”
“Not when I get busy doing things,” you explain and laugh at the expression on his face, a memory coming to mind. “Namjoon gave me that same look the other day when I was reading a book I borrowed from him. I guess I hadn’t been out of my room all day and missed lunch and dinner, so he came looking for me. I told him that when I was a kid, my mom used to lose her head when she couldn’t find me. At the time, I didn’t fully understand how dangerous it was to wander off by myself. Anyways, her and my dad would tear the house apart looking for me. Turns out, I’d ended up being curled underneath my bed with a book in my hands. The second I learned how to read, I never stopped. It drove my parents nuts because I would become so engrossed in a book that I wouldn’t pay attention to the world around me. They complained that I needed real friends, not imaginary ones, and set up playdates with their friends’ kids. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I actually had made friends, through the equal admiration and love for a specific book.”
“You must miss them,” he notes and winces at the sheer stupidity of it. Of course you miss them. “I’m sorry. That was a dumb thing to say.”
“No,” you smile at him. “I miss them very much. I was 14 when they died, so they didn’t get to see me grow into adulthood. Some days it’s a little harder than others.”
“I’m sure they would have been very proud.”
“Not if they knew what a huge nerd I stayed,” you joke and earn yourself one of his rare bunny smiles, teeth, dimples, and all. “They never met any of the friends I still have now. Soyoung, Yunhee, and Bora are the same girls who’ve stuck by me for so long. Soyoung was actually the girl I met who loved the same book she’d caught me reading like a loner during recess one day.” You laugh fondly as you recall the start of your friendships. “Or attempting to read, I should say. A few annoying boys from our class had taken the book from my hands and played a little game of keep away. Soyoung saw them, came over, knocked the biggest one to the ground, and challenged the rest of them to a fight. They ran away and Soyoung spent the rest of the time sitting with me to make sure they didn’t come back.”
Jungkook isn’t sure what he’s done to deserve the retelling of a happy memory, but he doesn’t stop you from talking, even when he finally steps into the dining room where Taehyung is already waiting. When he sees Taehyung, he attempts to interrupt your story, though he doesn’t as Taehyung shakes his head with a slight smile on his lips.
“That was the first time I knew what protection was,” you continue while staring off into space, not yet noticing Taehyung standing from the table. “Sure, my parents had their own version of it, but having their security guards around wasn’t the same as having someone around that actually listened to you.”
“Princess.” Taehyung almost laughs at how high you jump in place. “Are you ready to eat something?”
With your trip down memory lane on hold, you walk past him to sit at the table. You think maybe you shared a little too much with Jungkook. For two solid months, you’d managed to hold off giving up your friends’ names, even when Taehyung had offered to have them brought over to stave off your boredom. Nothing had ever sounded so tempting and had you said yes, it would have undoubtedly been an amazing day. Still, you can’t risk their lives for your own selfishness. You look down to the plate filled with carbonara, your favorite, and bite back a smile because you know it was Taehyung’s idea to have it served. You’re not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you smile when he had held your phone and laptop hostage for two months.
Taehyung sits beside you as Jungkook stands just a few feet away and Jimin comes in to stand at the other exit. He sees your eyes squint with suspicion and almost tells you that he’s expecting a guest. Instead he taps gently on the table to get your attention. “Is there a specific reason you didn’t eat anything today? Or so much as leave your room?”
You give him a sideways glance, jamming the fork left for you in the pasta. “You had my phone and laptop for the last two months, Taehyung, things piled up.”
“And catching up was more important than eating or seeing the sun?”
“I wasn’t hungry and I prefer the moon to the sun anyways, so yes, catching up was more important.” Only half of that is true and just barely. It’s not that you weren’t hungry at all, it’s that you didn’t notice you were hungry until Jungkook had come to fetch you.
Taehyung rests his elbows on the table, rubbing at his temples and hearing Jimin snicker in the corner of the room. “Princess---.”
Suddenly you lean in close, propping your chin in the palm of your hand and hoping neither Jimin nor Jungkook can hear the next words about to come out of your mouth. Your gaze drops to Taehyung’s lips and then flickers back to the intensity of his eyes, the corners of your mouth tilting up. “Will you fuck me, Tae?”
Taahyung chokes on his own spit as you sit back, satisfied at having rattled him. He’s 100% sure you’re not serious and it’s payback for what he pulled the day he took your computer and phone. Lifting a hand to his mouth, he clears his throat and peers at Jungkook, then Jimin, who hadn’t heard what you said but laughed at Taehyung’s expense all the same. When his eyes land back on you, they’re met with a cat-like grin on your lips, your teeth biting down on the steel fork as you shove pasta into your mouth.
“Cute,” he comments dryly. He’s not completely unamused but he won’t be cracking a smile soon either. You had called him ‘Tae’, a nickname reserved solely for you to use when you’d gifted it to him as children. As a kid, it melted his heart when you would call out his nickname and he would do anything you asked. Now, it brings on an entirely different reaction and he’s adjusting the way he sits, and he knows you know why he’s squirming in his seat.
“Something wrong, Taehyung?” You pretend to be worried, hearing Jimin take a step in the direction of the table in case something was wrong with Taehyung. “You look uncomfortable.”
“I know you’re fucking with me,” he rasps through grit teeth and Jimin freezes in place. “But on the off chance that you’re not, the answer is ‘yes’, princess, I will fuck you tonight. I’m so glad you asked.”
Jungkook lets out an awkward cough as a deep blush creeps up your neck. He looks over at Jimin, the older man nearly doubled over in glee with a hand covering his mouth. He thinks he should step in and give you an excuse to flee, but truthfully, you really should have known better.
“You get on my fucking nerves, Kim Taehyung,” you hiss and hear Jungkook hiccup at the bold way you speak to Taehyung. With a quick glance, you can see his eyes go wide and jaw drop before he looks at Taehyung in a panic.
“Relax, Jungkookie,” Taehyung chuckles darkly, completely abandoning his food in favor of reaching out to grip the back of your neck to pull you close. “I’ve killed for less, you know.”
“Then by all means,” you challenge, have no qualms about matching his glare, “kill me, Taehyung.”
“How charming,” someone quips from the dining room entrance and you snap your head up to look for the unfamiliar voice.
“Hoseok,” Taehyung leans back in his chair and lets you stew in panic for a minute. “You finished your assignment early. You’re not due back for another few weeks.”
“I got impatient.” Hoseok shrugs in response, eyes darting to you. “Ah, so you’re Y/N. I have to say, you’re much prettier than Taehyung gives you credit for.”
“Is that so?” You manage to relax at the familiarity between your husband and this new stranger.
“He really doesn’t do you justice,” Hoseok teases, watching Taehyung tense. “Relax, boss, I’m not going to steal your wife. Though if she happens to fall for my charm then it’s really not my fault.”
Taehyung hears you bite down on a laugh and rolls his tongue against his cheek in irritation. With your attention still on Hoseok, he takes the opportunity to invade your space by leaning in close.“Finish your food, princess, and then go to bed.”
“I’m not a kid, you know.” You turn to him, breath hitching at his proximity. Moments ago, you’d been too pissed to care how close he was, not to mention how mad he was himself. But his face had softened in the last few minutes, now looking at you as he always did.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Taehyung offers, hand coming up to twist your hair in his fingers. “You finish your dinner and I’ll give you anything you want. Sound fair?”
“I want to go back to work.”
Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Anything but that, Y/N.”
“That counts as anything, Taehyung,” you argue through clenched teeth. “You don’t get to change the rules because you don’t like what I’ve asked for.”
“It’s not safe for you to go back to work right now.”
“Then I’ll take Jungkook with me.” You’re not opposed to begging, not if it gets you back to work. “My cousins used to have men watch over me at my job all the time. As paranoid as Joongki is, he still let me go to work, that’s a testament to how uneventful that place is.”
“The answer is ‘no’.” Taehyung’s voice is firm as he sets his jaw. There are many things he’d be willing to bend on. You leaving the house is not one of them. “Don’t pout at me like a child or like I’ve kicked your puppy. You asked, I answered, and now you deal with that, am I clear?”
“Are you, really?” You push away from the table with so much force that the chair nearly falls backwards in the process. “Or are you going to change your mind when it suits you?”
Jungkook moves behind you quickly should Taehyung decide he’s had enough of your attitude and goes back on his promise to never harm you. He isn’t allowed to stop whatever Taehyung may do, but he is allowed to stop it from going too far.
“Sometimes I think you forget how hard I can push back.” You glare down at your husband. “And how painful that can get for whoever I feel like putting in their place.”
Hoseok lets out a whistle of appreciation after you storm out of the dining room with Jungkook hot on your heels. He looks at Taehyung, chuckles at his tired state, and sits at the table while Jimin decides to join them. “She’s a handful, Taehyung. Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“She’s not a handful,” Taehyung counters lamely because what Hoseok just saw definitely seemed like a handful. “Y/N’s lived like this her entire life and, unlike most of us, doesn’t embrace it.”
“Certainly sounds like she does.” Hoseok plucks the glass of water from where you previously sat and takes a sip. “Or does she only talk like that when she’s throwing a fit?”
“Believe me when I say if she plans on putting someone in their place,” Jimin finally speaks up, “she’s going to do it brutally. You’ll feel pretty stupid afterwards, too, so you should do what you can to avoid arguing with her, Hobi.”
Hoseok snorts. He won’t be intimidated by some girl who thinks she can handle the cruelties of this life just because she’s grown up around it. So has he, but he’s never been arrogant enough to throw out an attitude like that, especially not to a fucking boss of all people. Maybe if Taehyung wasn’t so whipped, he’d teach you what respect is.
“I’m serious, Hoseok.” Jimin is no longer smiling when Hoseok turns back to him. He recognizes the look in Hoseok’s eyes and doesn’t like it. If Taehyung, the one who actually gets a say in how you’re treated, says to never lay a hand on you no matter the circumstance, then all of the boys are to keep their damn hands off. His friend is far from abusive, Hoseok simply respects the chain of command with more passion than anybody. If something threatens that, then he’ll do what’s necessary to protect it. “If you can’t handle Y/N’s attitude, then you stay the hell away from her.”
Hoseok watches Jimin march out of the dining room, rolling his tongue against the inside of his cheek before facing Taehyung. “First Jungkookie looks ready to throw himself between you and her in the middle of a fight, and now Jimin thinks he can just go around threatening anybody. That girl’s power trip must be contagious.”
“We’ve been friends for a long time, Hoseok.” Taehyung curls his hand into a fist on the table and notices Hoseok’s eyes dart to the action. “But if you can’t respect Y/N, then I’ll toss you right back where I found you, rotting in the gutter.”
Hoseok looks down at the table and smiles, not at all bothered by Taehyung’s threat. “She reminds me of your mom. Y/N’s so much like her that I flashed back to the Christmas of our senior year in high school. Remember that?” He doesn’t wait for Taehyung to answer before he continues. “Your father had promised that year’s Christmas to be a work free one, but when she’d caught him on the phone, dealing with another shipment, she lost her mind. She screamed at him, hit him, threatened to disappear from his life if he didn’t get his shit together.”
Taehyung laughs at the memory. “Everyone had been home that Christmas. My grandparents, my aunts, and uncles. They all watched my big bad father get chewed out by a woman who could barely reach his shoulders. They likened it to a pitbull being afraid of a chihuahua. I think that’s why my mother loves Y/N so much, because she doesn’t take anyone’s shit.”
“So she has momma Kim’s seal of approval, huh?”
“The only girl who ever has.”
“You did bring some pretty mean trainwrecks through her house.” Hoseok teases him, though his smile drops as he becomes serious once again. “I know Jimin thinks I’ll hurt Y/N if I think she’s overstepped, but I won’t. If anything, I look forward to watching you cowering under the hateful gaze of your wife. It’ll be the most entertaining thing that’s happened in a long time.”
“All of the boys are excited to watch that happen.” Taehyung shakes his head.
“Are you going to let her go back to work?” Hoseok tilts his head in question. “It won’t be too bad if Jungkook’s with her. Maybe she’ll even let Jimin tag along.”
“I can’t take that chance right now. Joongki might have let her work, but there weren’t any threats against them at the time. Now someone’s after the Seong brothers and if they can use Y/N to do it, they will.”
“This is the Y/N you’ve been obsessed with since you were a kid, isn’t it?”
“I wasn’t obsessed,” Taehyung insists. “At least not in a creepy way.”
“She’s married to you,” Hoseok points out. “The girl you’ve been hopelessly pining after since you were a teenager is now your wife. Tell me that doesn’t sound like a creepy stalker.”
“Shut up, Hobi.”
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Standing across from Taehyung in the break room of your workplace, you grip the strap of your backpack tight and clench your teeth. You should have known better. Honestly, you almost didn’t run off because you knew he’d come chasing you down eventually. Even more honestly, if you didn’t actually want him to know where you were then leaving your phone somewhere miles off would have been the best idea. You’re aware of the ‘discreet’ tracking app that Yoongi had installed on the phone, hiding it amongst the music files as if you hadn’t memorized each and every one.
Coworkers gather around to watch the spectacle Taehyung has created. Some have the decency to pretend they’re not being nosy while others whisper to each other about the handsome stranger you’re facing off with. Most women are trying their hardest to catch his eye, but his focus is solely on you. It drives the women nuts and you almost smile at the thought until Jimin and Jungkook flank Taehyung on either side.
You almost flinch at the look of betrayal on Jungkook’s face. He was in charge of you, of your whereabouts and needs, and you ran from him. You’d snuck off from right under his nose and sent him into a panic, leaving him with no other option than to dial Taehyung. His anxiety subsided when Taehyung calmly explained that he was sure of where’d you be, thus leading them to this moment. You want to explain, to tell him that deceiving him was one of the hardest decisions you’ve made in a long time. There’s relief in his eyes, obviously, but there’s also anger and pain. “Jungkookie, I---.”
“Y/N?” Your friend and ex-boyfriend, Seojun, questions as he enters the break room. He scans over Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin, sensing the anger rolling off of you in waves. He steps in your direction to make sure you’re alright. Being broken up doesn’t mean he can’t still care about you. When your eyes cut to him, he catches you wince before the deep bass of Taehyung’s voice recaptures your attention.
“Princess,” Taehyung grits out in irritation when your attention shifts elsewhere. A smirk lights up his features when your eyes dart between him and the man who’d just called your name, panic crossing your features. You don’t want him to know who this is and that’s something he can use to his advantage. “You could have easily avoided my being here if you hadn’t snuck away from Jungkook. You really hurt his feelings, sweetheart. Look at him, he’s heartbroken.”
“Shattered into a million pieces, boss,” Jungkook deadpans, earning himself a spiteful glare. Tilting his chin and raising a brow, he silently questions why you’re the one who’s angry when he’d been running around like a chicken with his head cut off for the past two hours.
“Something of his will be broken soon, but I can assure you it won’t be his heart,” you snap, making Taehyung grin his rare boxy smile that you’d possibly return on any other day. Now though, now you want to slap the smile off his annoyingly handsome face. You see Jimin take a cautious step away from Jungkook in hopes of protecting himself and admittedly, it almost makes you giggle. Jimin always knows how to make you laugh even on the darkest of days, yet as he stands at Taehyung’s side, you know who he’ll always remain loyal to.
Taehyung’s heavy sigh slices the tense air and he’s in front of you in a matter of seconds, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. He can see the internal struggle you have to not recoil at his touch or slap his hand away. Maintaining a public image is something drilled into someone as soon as they step into the mafia life, but he figured you’d be angry enough to not care in front of your coworkers, and expecting you to blow up at him. When you don’t, he suspects it has something to do with the women who haven’t stopped ogling him since he first walked in. “Interesting,” he voices aloud and you jump at the way his fingers slide along the length of your jaw before he tucks his thumb, tilting your chin upward.
Your breath catches in your throat as he steps closer, bridging the gap between you two. It takes everything in you to not bite the thumb currently skimming across your bottom lip. The last time you’d done that, Taehyung had taken it upon himself to return the favor by biting down on the pulse point of your neck. You don’t need a repeat of that incident in front of your coworkers. A sigh escapes you when he wraps his free arm around your waist and nuzzles his face in your hair.
“You don’t want me,” Taehyung whispers in your ear, playfully nipping at it, “but you don’t want them to have me either, do you, princess?”
You grit your teeth, dropping your forehead to his chest, and using your hair as a curtain to hide your mouth. “I don’t care if they want you, Kim Taehyung. You could take any of them home right now if you wanted to and I wouldn’t give a damn.”
“Don’t tempt me, Y/N,” he growls low and it’s then that you realize how angry he truly is. Taehyung doesn’t use your real name with the exception of introductions during a dinner party, charity event, and when you get too stubborn in your ways. “If you want me to take a girl home and fuck her brains out while you sit and stew in your own denial, then I will.”
You stiffen in his arms, the mere thought making you nauseous. You know damn well how eager any one of these girls would be to jump in bed with him. Suddenly, a certain presence looms over the room, something dark makes the place feel smaller than it already is. “Seojun,” you breathe with realization. It’s him, his stare nearly burning a hole into the side of your face as his jealousy blankets the room.
Taehyung grits his teeth, hand sliding up to tighten at the nape of your neck and knotting the hair there. His fingers twitch against your scalp as he’s about to move away to face whoever the hell Seojun is. His grip loosens and fear strikes the air before you’re looping your arms through his to lock together at his back. The embrace is seemingly romantic to everyone else, but he knows that it’s to keep him in place.
He sighs once more and skims his fingers down to massage the tension in your neck, lips brushing against your cheek as he pretends to ignore what you’ve just said. “Can I kiss you, princess? And then every girl in here will know who I belong to. Sound good to you, baby?”
You’re on the tips of your toes, gripping the back of his neck, and tugging him down into a kiss as soon as he finishes the question. The hand in your hair tugs on it gently, silently asking for you to open up to him, but you’re already pulling away before it goes too far. Public affection is never something you could bring yourself to like but Taehyung makes it a little more tolerable. Even so, this was still your place of work and it requires a level of professionalism that you’re one more kiss away from throwing out the window.
Taehyung grins against your mouth as your chest heaves and he straightens up to take the backpack hanging from your shoulder. He tosses the bag to Jimin, who immediately digs through it in search of your work vest. With Cecil’s men dead and Jungkook on a new level of awareness after your disappearing act, enough of the threats to the Seong family have been eliminated for you to work peacefully. You’re not entirely out of the woods just yet, there’s still the matter of finding who paid Cecil, but he’s already spoken with your boss about Jungkook hanging around and keeping an eye on you. He’ll send Jimin down to help after the house has been cleaned up.
Jimin produces your vest and tosses it to Taehyung after swiping the name badge clipped on the fabric. He hands Jungkook the backpack to rifle through the contents, catching a quick peek of your puzzle book. Such a nerd, he thinks as a fond smile spreads across his face.
“I could murder her,” Jungkook mumbles from beside Jimin. “Scaring the shit out of us like that. Almost getting us killed because Taehyung was so pissed.”
“You have to admit that her determination is admirable,” Jimin jokes, nudging Jungkook with his elbow. “Come on, Jungkookie, don’t stay upset with her for too long. You saw the look on her face when we came in. She didn’t like sneaking away from us, but did we give her any other choice? No. So stop pouting and hold down the fort until I get back.”
Jungkook snorts in response. He’s still pissed off at himself for letting you slip through his fingers like that. Jimin only chuckles under his breath and Jungkook is left rolling his eyes. He catches the sight of Seojun in the process, the man’s mouth parted with confusion and brows pinched together in anger. Jungkook looks Seojun over and notes the way his eyes never leave you and Taehyung. Elbowing Jimin to get his attention, he gestures to Seojun, and Jimin clocks the way Seojun’s fists curl at his sides.
Taehyung is too busy swinging the vest around your shoulders to pay any more attention to Seojun. Pulling the zipper up to secure your vest, he tugs you a step closer and fiddles with the pull tab while pressing his forehead to yours. “You can stay, sweetheart.”
“I can?” You break out into a smile before you can stop yourself, pulling back to see his face. If he’s pulling a cruel joke, you’ll kill him. You will 1,000% murder your husband on the spot. But no, he’s not teasing you. “Seriously?”
“Under the condition that Jungkookie stays with you,” Taehyung clarifies, setting his jaw. When you bite your bottom lip in attempt to stop your smile, he tests your giddiness by leaning in for another quick kiss that you happily return. “Jimin will be back in about an hour to help him keep watch. So don’t try to run away from either of them.”
“I promise!” You throw your arms around his shoulders and squeeze him close. To a normal couple, being told that one actually has permission to do their job would be cause for concern. So it was understandably confusing for your coworkers when you practically vibrated with excitement at being allowed to work, of all things.
Taehyung presses another kiss to your lips, holding it just a bit longer than the previous two and smiles as you laugh against him. He’s surprised to find that he can easily slip his tongue past your parted lips, and that you eagerly accept him. When he finally pulls away, you’re looking at him like he just gave you the world, and it dawns on him that this, this is all you asked for. The freedom to make your own choices and keep at least a little bit of your previous life didn’t seem like an option with your cousins and now he was doing the same thing they had. He’s keeping you from enjoying the little things like the job you didn’t necessarily have to keep anymore.
“Thank you, thank you! I’ll see you at home, bye!” You rush past your husband, quickly snatching the name badge Jimin was holding out, and dancing in place as you swipe it through the time clock. Jungkook is basically sprinting after you in an effort to keep up with your newfound energy.
Jimin steps up beside his friend as Taehyung tries to compose himself by shoving one hand in his pocket and clearing his throat. He rolls his eyes as Taehyung uses his thumb to swipe away the chapstick you’d left behind on his lips. “You look like a kid in a candy store, you weirdo.”
“She called it home.”
“Yeah, for now,” Jimin snorts and it’s Taehyung’s turn to roll his eyes. “I give it two days before you fuck up something else.”
“Thanks for the support, asshole.”
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You don’t explore much of the house until about the 4th month into the marriage. You've seen most of the first floor and so far, Namjoon’s miniature library is your favorite place. The second floor consists of the guys’ rooms and you find it odd that Taehyung would have them sleep an entire floor away from you. They’re meant to protect you should anything go wrong, so why?
“Find what you’re looking for, Mrs. Kim?”
You jump and whirl around to face Hoseok, your heart nearly beating out of your chest. “Jesus, Hobi. You scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry,” he laughs, though he doesn’t seem very apologetic at all. He’s drenched in sweat, hair is matted to his forehead, and he’s unraveling tape from his knuckles.
“You were boxing,” you point out with admiration. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
“No, I was done anyways.” He waves his hand dismissively, but notes the way your lips part in curiosity. “Do you want to try?”
“I didn’t know Taehyung had a gym in the house.” You immediately change the subject. Yes, you want to box. Not exactly ‘try’ because you have enough training to defend yourself. This newfound knowledge of a home gym has you excited. The idea of being able to let out your frustrations on a punching bag is thrilling.
“Jungkook requested it before the house was built.”
“Kook did?” You reel back in surprise. If Jungkook was around before this house was built then… “How old is this place?”
“A few years, I believe.” Hoseok finishes unwrapping his hands and crumples up the used tape. “Taehyung had it built for you when he found out your cousin wanted to merge the families.”
“Right.” You clench your jaw. You often forget how long this plan was in the making before judgement day. Or your ‘wedding’, as some would call it. Still, that Taehyung would go through such effort to build a home just for you, almost brings a smile to your face. Shaking the thought from your head, you take the tape from Hoseok’s hands to keep your own occupied. The itch to pick at your cuticles is clawing its way to the surface and you need to stop it before it takes over. “It’s flattering, I know that, but it’s also a reminder of the life I didn’t intend on having.”
“A safe one?” Hoseok quirks one of his brows, watching you fiddle with the used tape and catching the tiny scabs on your cuticles.
“A different one,” you say as the ball of tape is tossed back and forth between your hands. “One where I didn’t feel like a prisoner.”
“What happened?” He quickly snatches one of your hands and the tape falls to the floor. There’s a hint of dried blood on the cuticles of your nails and the skin around the pads of your fingers look to be gnawed on. “How long have you been doing this?”
You try to pull your hand back but it’s useless when it comes to escaping Hoseok. You learned this after spending a month with him as your bodyguard instead of Jungkook, when Taehyung had insisted you build a friendship with Hoseok before the rest of the guys. You had asked why and it had become clear after Hoseok was the one to track you down in a matter of minutes during your first attempt to run away.
“Hobi,” you grunt, twisting your wrist out and away from his hold with ease, instead wrapping your own fingers around his wrist to shove him away and he stumbles back. You laugh at the shock on his face. “Sometimes when I get too nervous or antsy, I chew on my fingers. It’s not very ladylike, is it? I didn’t do it for awhile after my teen years, but recently---.”
“How did you do that?” He interrupts your explanation. “Get out of my grip like that?”
Of course, he knows how you did it. His question is more about who trained you to do it, who taught you to defend yourself, and who taught you to fight. It’s the first time he’s seeing anything like it from you and he’s sure that Taehyung and Jungkook, or any of the guys for that matter, have no clue you can do it either.
You shoot him a teasing smile and pick the tape up from the floor. “My grandfather always wanted to make sure I could do at least the bare minimum if I was attacked. So, he had some of his men teach me to fight alongside Joongki and Jeonghan. I’m sure I’m nowhere near any of your guys’ levels, but I like to think I could hold my own against you if need be.”
“You’re really something else, aren’t you?” Hoseok questions with awe. He doesn’t mean it in an offensive way and he’s glad you realize that as your shoulders tremble with more laughter. “Taehyung always said you were amazing, but I thought it was because he’s so in love with you. Not because you’re a genuinely amazing person.”
You pale at the words ‘in love’ because although you’ve always known about Taehyung’s affections, you’ve never known how deep they truly run. Up to this point, you thought his feelings were more infatuation and lust than anything else.
“Enjoying your little tour, princess?” Taehyung comes from around the corner, leaning against the wall.
“You’re back.” You resist the urge to go to him. The space he’d given you when you first moved in was welcomed, and then you’d gone and given him a reason to revoke that privilege by trying to run away. After spending time together now that he’d been sleeping in the same room, that you had come to learn was actually the master bedroom and he’d been gentleman enough to leave it to only you, you found that you would actually miss him when he was out. There are nights when you sidle up to him as soon as he steps in the door, and you know he’s aware of how dependent you’ve become on his presence because Jimin did you the not so kind favor of pointing it out.
“I’m home,” Taehyung confirms, the ends of his lips almost tugging up into a smile. The way you basically wait for him to come home every day tugs at his heart. He didn’t think it would only take a few months for you to warm up to him, slowly, but definitely surely. He’d calculated that it would take you at least a year to want to be around him. Maybe two, maybe even ten given how stubborn you are. “Finally found your way upstairs, huh?”
“I was bored.”
“I know.” He pushes off the wall and comes to take the tape from your hands. He finally looks at Hoseok and nods. “Did Hoseok teach you anything?”
“Apparently there’s no need,” Hoseok explains while crossing his arms. “Did you know that she can fight? Not that sissy slap fight that some people do. I mean, real fighting, Taehyung.”
“You’re exaggerating, Hobi.” You roll your eyes and try to snatch the tape back from Taehyung, but he’s quick to pull it out of your reach. “You make it sound like we just went a full round of sparring. I was just able to get out of your hold, that’s all.”
“That’s the most important part,” Hoseok says as you and Taehyung begin a playful game of keep away. He’s sure you don’t notice the grin on your own face when you jump for the piece of trash in Taehyung’s hand. “Even if you can’t actually fight, being able to get away and run as fast as you can is the deciding factor in whether you live or die.”
You’re not listening anymore. It’s not to be rude or simply because you’ve heard it already. It’s because you’re trying to pry the tape away from your husband and you don’t even know why. Perhaps because you had it first? It’s childish thinking, you know it, but it’s what makes this part so fun. You make one final lunge for the used tape and Taehyung grabs your wrist, not prepared for you to counter it so quickly. Clamping down on his wrist with your free hand, you pry it away from your own and duck. You twist around, never letting up on his wrist, and pin his arm gently behind his back. A triumphant grin breaks out on your lips, but it’s short lived.
Taehyung spins around on his heel and is able to quickly back you against the wall. His fingers are already curling around your forearm to press against the plaster. He feels the push of your other hand to his chest and he’s shoved away with more force than expected. His chest rises and falls rapidly, winded from the surprising amount of energy this small little tussle took from him. You don’t rush to him like he thinks you will, instead clutching something in your hand that you open to reveal the balled up tape.
“Whoa,” Hoseok whispers, having been present the entire time rather than giving the two of you privacy like the other guys usually do. He was simply too curious to see how this would pan out. He’s going to say something, not entirely sure what words to use, when he looks back at Taehyung to find an all too familiar look on his face.
Taehyung’s pupils are blown wide as he drinks you in. From the cat-like curve of your lips, to the useless tape balled up in your palm, and down to the heaving of your chest. He’s always been an adrenaline junkie, he knows that, but never had a scuffle turned him on. The fact that you’re his wife and not some bulky, sweat drenched man definitely contributes.
“Well,” Hoseok chimes in uncomfortably, “I’m going to go anywhere that’s not here. You guys have fun.”
You don’t even realize Hoseok is still there until he breezes past you to make himself scarce, watching him disappear from the hallway. When you look back at Taehyung, he’s already in front of you and running the back of his knuckles across your cheek. The affectionate touch makes you blush, heat spreading across your entire body as he leans in so close that his nose bumps yours.
“Will you welcome me home, princess?” he rasps against your lips and it snaps you out of your own thoughts.
“Your home, Tae,” you whisper back and bump his nose gently, “not mine.”
“You are my home, Y/N.” His lips brush yours with every whisper before he fully presses against your mouth. A tiny kiss that somehow leaves you wanting much, much more. But then he’s pulling away and kissing your cheek next. “I know you hate being here, and the idea makes you want to puke, but this is your home. Always.”
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Later, when you basically skip into the living room with a very tired looking Jungkook and Jimin, Taehyung is surprised when you plop next to him on the couch. You’re equally as exhausted as the guys, but it’s a good kind of tired, like you’ve accomplished something.
“What did you do to Jungkookie, princess?” Taehyung plays with the locks of your hair. He looks to his youngest member and almost laughs at the way Jungkook’s shoulders are slumped forward, his hair is matted with sweat, and like he’s on the verge of passing out.
Jimin is standing next to him looking pristine as ever, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth at Jungkook’s state.
“I didn’t do anything to him.” You roll your eyes and laugh. “He was just having a hard time keeping up, that’s all.”
“Retail workers are animals!” Jungkook bellows, throwing his arms out in frustration. “And the customers who shop there are even worse! Who raised these people, savages?!”
“Kook, you’re in a gang!” You look at him like he’s grown two heads.
“Yeah well, nobody I’ve ever pointed a gun at has yelled at me for giving them the wrong color sweater, alright?” Jungkook runs his hand down his face before rubbing his tired eyes. “I need a nap.”
Taehyung chuckles as Jungkook stalks upstairs to his bedroom. His shift is over now that you’re home anyways, so the least Taehyung can do is let the poor kid sleep.
Jimin bids the two of you goodnight, making his way to the staircase and quickly following after Jungkook.
“I think Kook’s traumatized.” You turn your head to Taehyung just as he leans in and brushes his nose against yours.
“We should probably get him an emotional support animal,” he jokes, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Did you have a good day, sweetheart?”
You tilt your chin up as his mouth travels lower, leaving open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat. Nodding in response to his question, you ask, “did you?”
“It’s boring in the house without someone to argue with,” his tongue snakes out lick at your skin before he’s pulling on it with his teeth.
“I’m sure Yoongi could have kept you entertained if you pushed his buttons enough.”
Taehyung knows that his being able to touch you within reason is basically a reward for granting you basic human rights. He didn’t like to think of it as keeping you a prisoner in your own home, but he knows there’s no other way to describe being locked inside almost 24 hours a day. He wanted to think you were finally understanding the rules and would stop fighting him. That wasn’t the case, he sees that now, because he practically falls to his knees every time you allow him to touch or kiss you. Little by little, you’re breaking his resolve with how defiant you can be, and then turning him to mush when he apologizes for making you feel a certain way. You’re practically training him like one would a new puppy.
“Tae,” your moan breaks his train of thought, and he pulls away to find that at some point he’d leaned you flat on your back. His hand had dipped into the waistband of your jeans and he was quick to pull back in case you were uncomfortable. You giggle and sit up to cup his jaw, giving him one more kiss before retreating to the bedroom.
“She’s happy,” Yoongi observes as he steps into the living room. “What did you do to deserve that?”
“Why doesn’t anybody in this house ever take my side?” Taehyung readjusts the way he sits on the couch. He beckons Yoongi closer and takes the tablet from his outstretched hand.
“Because it’s easier to take Y/N’s side.” Yoongi smirks. “It’s certainly more entertaining.”
“This Seojun guy,” Taehyung swipes through photos of your ex, most of which consisted of you by Seojun’s side or tucked underneath his arm. “Who is he?”
“A nobody, really.” Yoongi throws himself on the couch next to Taehyung. “Just some guy who was lucky enough to be hired fresh out of high school. He’s been with the company for 7 years now. He and Y/N dated for about a year before breaking up. Jimin asked around and found out that Seojun didn’t like how secretive Y/N was when it came to her family. So he broke up with her.”
“She didn’t look too happy when I showed up today.” Taehyung grips the tablet tighter when a picture pops up of you and Seojun from his instagram. You’re in a bed with Seojun’s arms wrapped tight around your waist and his face tucked in the crook of your neck.
“She never looks happy to see you,” Yoongi counters and earns himself a sneer.
“I’m saying she didn’t want me to know who this guy was, smartass.” Taehyung tosses the tablet back to Yoongi. He runs a hand through his hair and moves for the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. “Did you get anywhere with the Ahn brothers?”
Yoongi pulls up more images on his tablet and hands it to Taehyung. “The Choi family isn’t happy with Joongki and Jeonghan. It seems your family wasn’t the only one hoping to merge with the Seong’s.”
Taehyung stiffens as he swipes through photo after photo of you with Joongki’s men, but there was someone else trailing you. They weren’t close enough for you to think anything of it, and maybe your cousins hadn’t pieced it together yet either, but Taehyung knows this man, and he clenches his jaw. “Meaning?”
“Mr. Choi had been trying for months to convince Joongki to hand off Y/N to his oldest son, Hyunwoo, and he almost did before your father stepped in and told him the truth about the Choi family.” Yoongi leans against the kitchen counter and drops his voice to a whisper as the opening of a door echoes down the hallway. “Joongki didn’t want to scare Y/N or his brother, so he didn’t tell them why he was so quick to go to your father. Neither of the Seong brothers are the actual target. Y/N is.”
“What about me?” you pipe up, stepping into the kitchen while running a towel through your damp hair. You grab the glass full of water and take a few sips, eyeing Yoongi and Taehyung suspiciously. “What are you two up to?”
“Taehyung was curious about your friend Seojun,” Yoongi is quick to throw his boss underneath the bus, crossing his arms and tsking at Taehyung. “Jealousy is not a good color on you.”
“Sometimes I think you really forget what I’m capable of, Min Yoongi.” Taehyung pushes Yoongi out of the kitchen with a hiss. “Don’t think I won’t get you back for this, you son of a bitch.”
You hoist yourself onto the counter, running your hand through the tangled mess of clean hair. It should probably piss you off that Taehyung had Yoongi dig up information on Seojun, but your ex isn’t exactly your favorite person. After he’d broken up with you, he had made it pretty clear that unless you fessed up about your family, he wouldn’t be coming back any time soon. Six months after that, he’d heard about your marriage but was yet to know who your husband was. Protecting him from Taehyung earlier was more out of instinct than anything else. Taehyung just doesn’t have to know that part.
“You don’t like Seojun.” You swing your legs back and forth gently as Taehyung makes his way back into the kitchen.
“I don’t like any man that’s touched you before me.” He takes the cup back and downs the rest of the water. “I imagine you wouldn’t like meeting the women I’ve been with either.”
“Your one night stands aren’t comparable to the relationships I’ve had.” You glare at him with the hope that the side of his face will catch on fire. “Your women were just placeholders in your bed. They were there to warm it, not to become a permanent fixture in your life.”
“And you were planning on being a permanent fixture in Seojun’s life?” Taehyung turns to meet your glare with a sneer of his own. “Were you going to marry that pathetic little nobody, share a mediocre life, and live in comfort rather than luxury?”
“Your definition of luxury is burying someone in the most expensive gifts and then leaving them to their own vices.” You jump off the counter with a huff, snatching the towel you’d set down. “Maybe the women you’ve slept with could live with that, but I can’t. Seojun may not have millions of dollars to throw at anyone he wants, but he makes due with what he does have. And unlike you, his father wouldn’t have to step in to get me to marry him.”
Taehyung braces his hands against the counter as you saunter off, his shoulders tense and chest heaving with anger. He hears the slamming of the bedroom door and he bangs his fist against the counter before he’s storming down the hall after you. When he reaches the door, he’s even more pissed to find that you’ve locked it, and he’s seconds away from tearing it off its hinges when a piercing whistle catches his attention.
Jimin is standing at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall and swinging a key ring around his finger. “Man, I really should have bet a few hours before you fucked things up instead of betting two days. I can’t wait to see how your wife reacts to you lying about having only one key to the master bedroom.”
Taehyung snatches the key from Jimin and growls out, “if you don’t want to be the next person I murder, then I suggest you walk away, Park.”
Jimin only shakes his head with a laugh, raising his hands in surrender and doing as he’s been told. It wasn’t the first time Taehyung threatened him and it certainly won’t be the last. He makes it back to his room in one piece where he finds the rest of the guys waiting. He grins as he looks around and says, “I think Y/N is my new hero. Nobody’s been able to piss off Taehyung like that in a long time.”
“She’s ballsy, I’ll give her that.” Yoongi looks up from the laptop he’d been typing away on.
“She’d make one hell of a leader,” Seokjin chimes in and Yoongi chuckles low in his throat.
“You’re lucky if Taehyung doesn’t have you tossed in a river with weights tied around your ankles for starting that fight,” Namjoon scolds Yoongi and gestures them closer to see what he’d been working on. “The Choi family is gaining quite the reputation for all the shit Hyunwoo keeps pulling. We’re talking gambling debts, jail time for street brawls, even a few women accusing him of sexual assault. I mean, this guy is close to costing Mr. Choi his whole empire. Nobody wants to work with them, even their supply is suffering. They’ll be left with nothing soon.”
“Choi wants to use Seong’s climbing reputation to save his own ass.” Jimin skims his eyes down the screen of Hyunwoo’s rap sheet.
“It goes a little deeper than that,” Namjoon frowns as Yoongi pulls up a different tab. “Hyunwoo went to high school with Y/N, had the biggest crush on her, but she always rejected him. I talked to her friends and they said that Hyunwoo couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Whenever Y/N snubbed him, he’d corner one of them and threaten their lives if they didn’t try to talk Y/N into dating him. He was obsessed with her, still is. So I’m guessing he promised Choi that he’d clean up his act if he got Y/N.”
“Choi must have pursued Joongki for a long time.” Jungkook stretches his arms above his head until his back finally pops. He rolls his shoulders next as if preparing himself for a fight. If they go to Taehyung right now then they’d certainly be gearing up for one.
“He was close, too.” Yoongi curls his hands into fists at the thought of where you’d be now if Mr. Kim hadn’t stepped in. “Joongki almost agreed to the marriage because he was under the impression that Choi still had a good following.”
“So what happened?”
“Mr. Kim happened,” Yoongi explains, letting out a slow breath. “Nobody’s loyal to Choi anymore. Some of his men branched off and told other bosses what the plan was for the Seong family. Luckily, one of them came to Mr. Kim and he was able to get to Joongki before anything became final.”
“Does Y/N know any of this?” Jungkook questions while looking back and forth between Yoongi and Namjoon. When both men shake their heads, he scoffs. “Don’t you think she should? She’d probably be more inclined to fucking listen to us if she knew what was really happening.”
“Or she’d run away and disappear off the map.” Seokjin offers an alternative. He knows you well enough by now and if you knew how much danger you were truly in, then there’s no doubt in his mind that you’d leave. “We can’t take that chance, Kook. She’s our family now and we take care of family. So we’ll deal with Choi soon and be done with it.”
---------------------------------------
“I’m not really sure what you think you’re doing,” you interrupt whatever Hyunwoo is doing at your locker and he whirls around to find you a few feet away, “but it’s not going to happen, Choi. Move on.”
He steps away from your locker, giving you space to open it and shove your books inside. He gives you a greasy smile and leans against the locker next to yours. “You always say ‘never’ Y/N, but I’m pretty sure I can change your mind if you let me.”
“The only way I’m going to give you a chance is if you let me push you off a cliff.” You slam the locker closed just as your friends approach. “What’s your deal, Hyunwoo? Why don’t you get it by now? I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Most girls would kill to be by my side,” Hyunwoo slaps an open palm on the lockers, rattling them enough to make your friends jump, but you stand strong.
“Then you don’t really need me, do you?” You turn to walk away with your friends only to have him clap his hand on your shoulder, and you’re shoved against the lockers. You wince at the impact, the combination locks dig into your spine, and Bona runs off to find help.
“I don’t need your permission to have you, you know?” Hyunwoo hisses in your face, his forearm rests gently on your collar bone, not heavy enough to cut off your air supply, yet. “My father will give me anything I ask for and if that’s you, then you don’t get a choice anymore. I suggest you come willingly while I’m still asking nicely.”
“There’s not a fucking thing nice about you, Hyunwoo,” you sneer and stomp on his foot, digging your heel into the top of it. It’s enough for him to release his grip as he jumps back in pain, and you’re already cocking your arm back to land a solid punch across his jaw when Bona comes rushing back with Jeonghan in tow.
Jeonghan moves for Hyunwoo but you step in front of your cousin before he does anything to get himself in trouble. He stiffens as Hyunwoo straightens up and uses the back of his hand to wipe away the blood dripping from his mouth. Gripping your arm, he gets ready to pull you behind him if Hyunwoo gets any closer.
You shrug Jeonghan off and take a step toward Hyunwoo. “Your daddy may baby the shit out of you, but make no mistake, Hyunwoo, you’re a trash human being. If you keep this up, you’ll run your father’s reputation into the ground and then where will you be? Certainly daddy won’t keep you around if you’re useless.”
Hyunwoo is seething, and if steam could come out of his ears, you’re pretty sure it would. He lifts his hands to grab you once more, but a teacher’s voice stops him. His eyeline is blocked by Mr. Lee, a math teacher that won’t have a job tomorrow if Hyunwoo can help it.
Mr. Lee directs both you and Hyunwoo to the principal’s office, stopping every so often to ask why Jeonghan is following behind him. He gets a mere shrug in response and he sighs, letting your cousin do as he pleases. He sits you in a chair far away from Hyunwoo before entering the principal’s office and explaining the situation.
Jeonghan stays plastered to your side, concern written all over his face as you goad Hyunwoo from across the room. You certainly had grandmother’s temper and, not for the first time that day, Jeonghan wishes you were a little less fierce. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Hyunwoo sneer at you, bloody gums and all. You tilt your head mockingly in response, leaving Jeonghan to nearly facepalm. The only thing that stops him from slapping his own forehead is the rapid footsteps of Joongki, grandfather, and one of grandfather’s men.
Mr. Choi and his right hand man come barreling in next. They blink in surprise at Hyunwoo’s busted lip and your completely unruffled response to him. Mr. Choi is about to ask what exactly is going on when the principal steps out and calls everyone into his office.
“Mr. Choi, Mr. Seong, thank you for coming down.” Principal Chang settles in the chair behind his desk, swiping the glasses from his face to rub at his temples. “Seong Y/N, I wish I could say it’s a surprise to have you here, but it’s really not, is it?”
“Y/N,” your grandfather sighs tiredly in the cramped space, “what have you done now?”
“Nothing that wasn’t prompted,” you defend yourself wholeheartedly.
“You assaulted Hyunwoo, did you not?” Principal Chang looks at the bruise forming on Hyunwoo’s jawline. He wouldn’t voice out loud how impressed he was given that Hyunwoo is twice your size. Unfortunately, his actions speak for him as he nods his admiration for you.
“I didn’t assault Hyunwoo, I defended myself when he nearly choked me to death.”
At this, Joongki snaps his head up to look at the boy in the other chair, rage building underneath the surface. “He did what?”
Mr. Choi lays one hand on Hyunwoo’s shoulder and uses his other to grip his son’s chin. “Look at this. My son is the one bloodied and bruised, and you mean to tell me that you’re the victim in this?”
“Your son doesn’t understand the kindergarten concept of keeping his hands to himself.” You grip the sides of your chair and lean forward to taunt Hyunwoo. “I was simply reminding him of what happens when he doesn’t respect someone else’s boundaries.”
Your grandfather grips your shoulder and hauls you back into the seat. “Stop it.”
“Maybe if you weren’t such an uptight bitch, then I wouldn’t bother you.” Hyunwoo fires back and tries to get in your face as you did him.
Daeseong, your grandfather’s most trusted man, steps in front of you and effectively cuts off any access Hyunwoo might have had. He stares down at the kid with a quirked brow until Hyunwoo seemingly shrinks in his seat. “You’ll refrain from using such language when it comes to Ms. Seong.”
Mr. Choi sputters at the blatant way his son is being intimidated and looks to Principal Chang for some kind of interference. “This girl damages my son’s face and her bodyguard has the audacity to try and scare him. Yet you want me to believe she’s done nothing wrong?”
“Believe what you will, Mr. Choi,” your grandfather’s voice holds the kind of authority that grown men usually cower at, “but given how your son just spoke to my granddaughter, I think it’s quite clear who the antagonist here is. Admittedly, it’s my fault she’s so headstrong. You see, Mr. Choi, my family doesn’t believe in ‘when you’re dead, lie down’, so my granddaughter obviously found it necessary to correct your son’s behavior.”
“You’re aware of who I am, Seong,” Mr. Choi seethes, attempting to be just as vicious. “I suggest you get that delinquent under control before I have to.”
“You’re also aware of who I am, Choi, so I suggest you watch your tone and be careful of who you threaten. Whatever happened here today is just a glimpse of what my granddaughter can do, and unless you want to find out what more there is, then you’ll get your poor excuse for a son under control before I have to.”
Your grandfather is bluffing and it really takes every muscle in your body to keep from reacting. The strength behind your punch is literally all you have, though after today, you’re sure you’re about to get some new self defense lessons. You’d throw your head back and groan if it didn’t give away his obvious lie. Thankfully, Principal Chang’s dismissal of everyone from his office so he can ‘think on your punishment’ saves you from embarrassing your grandfather any further.
Mr. Choi stops you from getting too far by gripping your arm, quickly letting it go as Daeseong latches onto his wrist in return. “You must think you’re so precious, don’t you, little girl?”
“No.” You don’t flinch away from him and you can tell he hates it. “I just know what it means to be a decent person. You’ve taught your son that the world would fall to his feet if he so much as commands it, but he is neither king nor god, Mr. Choi. Hyunwoo doesn’t get to demand the world only to throw a fit when he ultimately breaks it, and then you come in to clean up his mess. The longer you let him believe he’s untouchable, the more likely he is to fall harder than anyone else.”
---------------------------------
Taehyung watches you stomp around the room, pacing back and forth while tugging at your hair because he’d lied about there being one and only one goddamn key to the master bedroom. Tomorrow he plans to do away with the door completely if you so much as think about locking the fucking thing again. He’s sitting on the bed, dressed in sweats and a plain t-shirt, waiting for your tantrum to be over. “Are you done, princess?”
“No, I’m not fucking done!” you screech, picking up the nearest object and hurling it his way. Another frustrated scream bubbles from your throat as he easily catches the bottle of perfume headed towards his skull. “You asshole! You said there was one, one fucking key to this room, Taehyung, and you lied to me!”
“This isn’t about the key, Y/N, you and I both know that.”
“It’s certainly not about the array of women you’ve paraded through here!” You pick up a bottle of lotion, your favorite to be exact, and launch it at him. When he skillfully dodges it, you begin picking up anything and everything that isn’t nailed down and try your damndest to cause him some kind of damage.
“I’m not bitching about Seojun, am I?!” Taehyung counters and peers around for any more loose objects. “I’m not throwing the disaster of that relationship in your face!”
“It wasn’t a disaster!” Your chest is heaving from exertion and you’re sure that if your pulse raced any faster, you’d have a heart attack. “Seojun was the best thing that happened to me and my cousins ruined that! This life ruined it! And yes, Taehyung, if Joongki hadn’t pimped me out to you then I would have absolutely married Seojun. We’d get married, leave this godforsaken city, have some kids, and live happily ever after.”
Taehyung knows you’re trying to get under skin, knows you’re trying to work him up so you’d have an excuse for your cousins to pull you from his home. Truthfully, your words do hurt, they pierce his heart and piss him off at the same time. Joongki didn’t pimp you out to the Kim family, and he for damn sure wouldn’t have let you marry Seojun and take off. The idea of you having kids with your ex-boyfriend makes Taehyung’s blood boil. The mere idea of Seojun putting his hands anywhere on your person is enough to have your husband close to pulling out his phone and calling for a hit on the poor guy.
You can see the gears shifting in Taehyung’s head, the cold calculation of whatever he’s about to do, and you know that if you didn’t diffuse the situation soon, you’d cost Seojun his life. “Stop it, Taehyung. You don’t get to be an asshole about Seojun and then get mad at me for calling you out on it. You for damn sure don’t get to be pissed that I wanted some space after you were the one who lost your shit over nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing,” he growls low in his chest and shuffles up the bed to get comfortable. “It was that you felt like you had to protect him in the first place. You really think I’m some kind of monster that would have him killed because he dated you? Far from it, princess. I’m glad you were happy, but he’s not part of your life anymore. You’re my wife, mine, so you’ll forgive me if I get a little testy when you brag about some other man giving you a better life than I can. Especially when you haven’t even given me the fucking chance.”
“Hauling me into this house and then locking me in is not a better life, Taehyung. It’s barely even a life at all. You can say it’s for my own safety, I’ve heard it a thousand times before, but I know that it’s more about your pride than anything else. That the great Kim Taehyung has what someone else wants and no one can get to it.”
“You think if this was about my pride that I’d keep you locked away? There is nothing more that I want than to show you off to the world, Y/N. To show whoever wants you that you’re protected and safe from them, not because they can’t have you. My pride stems from the fact that I have one of the strongest women by my side who isn’t afraid to put me in my place. Not everyone finds that in this life, so yes, I’m proud to have you and no, I will not apologize for whatever kind of blow your ego takes because you can’t stand to be wrong.”
You walk up to the bed, and for a second Taehyung heaves a sigh of relief that the fight is finally over, but you simply strip the mattress of its sheets and turn to leave the room.
He’s on his feet, striding across the room and boxing you in against the door before you can yank it open. “And just where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
Whirling around to face him, you hiss, “I’d sooner sleep under a bridge than in the same bed as you right now, Kim Taehyung.”
“That can be arranged if you want it, princess.” Taehyung is done. He’s jealous, he’s pissed, and he’s exhausted, so if you want to throw out empty threats then he’ll match you vicious word for vicious word.
“Then do it,” you challenge quickly. If he wants to toss you out because you fought him so hard then that’s all the opportunity you need to disappear.
His hand comes up to slap the door, landing dangerously close to your cheek, but you aren’t afraid of him or his outburst. He curls his lip up in a sneer before he bites down on his bottom lip and takes in a deep breath to compose himself. “We can fight, we can yell and scream at each other all you want, but at the end of the day this is the bed we’ll be sleeping in. You and I, because it’s ours and I’ll be damned if you curl up elsewhere, understand?”
You swallow the lump in your throat when he presses his forehead to yours because damn it, you’re supposed to be mad at him, not craving his stupid touch. You understand perfectly well, but he doesn’t need to know that, nor does he deserve a verbal response. Shouldering past him, you spin around and hold your hand out. “I want the key. Both of them.”
“There’s two for a reason, sweetheart.” Taehyung explains, turning to lean his back against the door and crossing his arms. “If you lock yourself in here and something happens, either me or one of the guys needs to be able to get in here. In fact, for that reason, I think I’ll be giving one of the keys to the boys and keeping the original copy for myself.”
Your fingers curl against your palm and you clench your teeth. “If I could, I’d drown you, Kim.”
“I know that you’re perfectly capable of it,” he smirks and crosses the room to the bed, “yet I’m not afraid to sleep in the bed as you.”
You try to crawl onto the bed next to him, but unlike most nights, he’s chosen to occupy your usual side of the bed. You huff and try to shove him over. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Sleeping.” He pretends to yawn and bury himself into the mattress.
“I sleep on this side, Taehyung, you know that.”
“Not tonight, princess.” He smirks and closes his eyes, knowing how much you hated sleeping with your back against the wall. The bed was pressed into a corner of the very large room simply because after he moved into the room, he’d keep you pinned between him and the wall so you couldn’t run off in the middle of the night. After a few weeks, you’d complained about feeling claustrophobic and he’d relented, granting you the open side of the bed.
“I won’t do this crap again, Taehyung,” you warn with your hands on your hips after giving up on trying to move him. “Move over.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything, instead tucking his arms behind his head and crossing his legs at the ankles to make himself comfortable. The bed dips unexpectedly and his eyes shoot open to find you swinging one leg over his frame as you settle yourself in his lap. He wastes no time in gripping your hips to keep you from falling if you lose your balance. “What are you doing?”
“You didn’t move.” You shrug your shoulders, sitting your full weight on his crotch and bunching your hair up to pull into a bun. “The only way for me to get to that side is to climb over you.”
He isn’t paying attention anymore, his hands grip you with a bruising force as your chest juts out with the way you pull your hair up. Your hips circle ever so slightly and he hisses through clenched teeth. This is payback, he realizes, and doesn’t have time to react before you’re rolling off and throwing the blankets over your body.
You hear him grumble something under his breath, but can’t tell what exactly it is. He’s angry, but it doesn’t stop him from turning on his side and snaking his arms around your waist. You nearly lose your breath when he harshly tugs your back to his chest so you push back against him in retaliation.
“You’re being a child,” he growls into your ear, “and if you plan on pushing against me all night, then you should also plan on not sleeping.”
You turn in his hold, coming face to face and bumping your nose against his. “You’re the one being a child, Taehyung. Not that you need to know, or even deserve it, but Seojun isn’t someone to be concerned about. I may not like that we’re married, but I’m not going to go out and violate the sanctity of our marriage either.”
You duck your head and nuzzle it beneath his chin before he can see the blush forming on your cheeks as you whisper, “I’m yours, Tae, no one else’s.”
He freezes and knows that if you hadn’t been embarrassed about admitting as much, then he would kiss you until you both struggled for breath. Your lashes flutter against his neck and he pulls you closer, burying his face in your hair and placing a kiss to your head.
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Old Habits
pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader
summary: Old habits come back when you meet an ex lover after a long time. Conversations feel like you never stopped talking to them. Sometimes you have to see them one last time to say goodbye like you mean it but most of the time it doesn’t go as planned.
warning: drinking
words: 2.1k
a/n: could be read as part 2 of last kiss but is a stand alone. got a bit poetic at the end. hope you guys like it. and as always, love reading your opinions/reactions. also asks are open. (gif not mine)
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'@tomholland2013 posted a story'
'@tomholland2013 posted a story'
 She picked up her phone to open Instagram. Yes, Y/N still had notifications on for his account even after they were broken up for months. Classic Tom. 
 He posted two of the same picture on his story. No one understood how that would happen almost every time, not even the people working at Instagram to whom they contacted about the glitch.
 Tom had his hair slicked back, standing in a white t-shirt next to Harry, his brother, giving a million-dollar smile. They were holding a clapperboard together. There was text on the picture too, 'day 1 let's go!!' She smiled to herself. Just because they weren't together doesn't mean that she wasn't allowed to feel happy for his achievements. Even though she wishes to know all these big things from Tom himself she is, unfortunately, left here, watching a small part of his life flash in front of her for less than thirty seconds.
 "Are you listening?" Hope, Y/N's date said.
 "Yeah, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Y/N placed the phone back where it was resting, next to the cold wine bottle.
 "You seem distant," they said.
 When she 'met' Hope (she only really met them 30 minutes ago), Y/N wasn't looking for love, just sex, and that is what online dating specializes in. She hoped Hope knew what they were signing up for, sexual intimacy and nothing else.
 "It doesn't matter does, does it? We both know what we are here for. Why not just cut the chase," Y/N replied.
--
It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to shine in its full glory. Y/N could only think of the first time she stayed over at Tom's old apartment but then she turned her head only to find Hope's naked body next to her. Her heartbeat accelerated with the realization that he was not hers anymore. Being in a foreign environment didn't help her growing anxiety, twisting and turning her intestines.
 It's been four months, her feelings for Tom refuse to quit on her because she knows she could never quit on them, on him, even if he has. He probably has already found someone else in Canada, she thought. She didn't want him anymore but she still needed him, one last time just to teach her stupid heart how to say goodbye.
 Y/N wore her clothes and picked up her shoes, going on a trail to find Hope's door to get out before they wake up. Climbing down the stairs, she took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.
 '5 new messages from Sam' 7 hours ago
Sam: hey
Sam: ik it's late
Sam: I am going for a run tmr morning @6
Sam: do you wanna come?
Sam: will go to the new coffee house near my house after that
 Y/N texted him back
Y/N: I'll meet you at the coffee place
Sam: come fast. already here
--
Sam and Y/N were standing in the queue to place their orders. “You look especially shitty today,” Sam said, running his right hand through his sweaty hair.
“I haven’t been home yet,” Y/N reasoned her appearance.
 His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. The person in front of them left the queue, they moved towards the counter. “One hazelnut latte, double shot with skimmed milk,” Y/N gave her order.
 “And you?” the cashier’s question directed to Sam.
 “I’ll have a matcha latte with oat milk”
 Sam turned to Y/N, “Harrison got me on matcha, and now I can’t go back to coffee”
 They paid their dues and moved over to the barista counter to collect their order.
 “So, what were you doing last night?” Sam inquired.
 “I was on a date, it isn't a big deal though. Just had some needs to take care of”
 “Oh, was it any good?”
 “It was fine. I was distracted the whole time. Saw Tom’s story about halfway into the bottle of merlot. Couldn’t stop thinking about him”
 “Seems…sad. But you know Tom is coming back for the Christmas weekend, I think. He might attend Harrison’s Christmas eve party”
 “One hazelnut latte and one matcha latte,” someone behind the counter screamed.
 “That’s us,” Sam raised his voice.
--
Harrison had a bucket inside his house, under a sign that said 'drop your tracking devices here' with an arrow pointing to the bucket. Y/N dropped her phone on a pile of roughly fourteen others. Debating whether to see Tom's face was something she wanted or not made her late and not very fashionably.
 The house was decorated with empty liquor bottles along with red and green streamers from one wall to another. Everyone was drunk in their best dress. There were no signs of Tom yet. Y/N took a deep breath, walking towards the kitchen to get herself some liquid courage to help her socialize.
 The kitchen was rather scarcely populated. Empty glasses were lined up next to the sink. Are they clean or used? Bending down, Y/N opened the refrigerator to see if Harrison had any chilled wine. No luck. "Hey," a familiar voice was heard.
 She looked up at the familiar stranger.
 "Hey Tom," she smiled. The refrigerator light falling on Y/N made her blush visible.
She grabbed a half-cut lemon placed in the egg tray.
 “How have you been?" Tom asked leaning back on the kitchen counter, observing her movements.
 Y/N walked towards the sink to grab herself a crystal glass hoping for it to be clean. "Just busy with work these days"
 "I heard you got a job at Condé Nast, is that true?" he took a sip from his beer.
 "Well, you heard right. You are looking at their new senior brand manager for digital", she said proudly.
 Tom hugged her from the side she was holding a knife to cut the lemon for her gin and tonic. "That's great darling! You always wanted to work there"
 Darling. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering like the first time she met Tom.
 "I saw your story the other day. You started filming your script, right?" she dropped the lemon in the glass.  
 "Yup, it was a long time coming," he grabbed the knife she was using and washed it without even knowing. He was so used to Y/N never washing utensils after using them and, he would always have to clean up after her.
 "Congrats on that babe!" The word 'babe' just slipped out of practice.
 Y/N grabbed a Bombay Sapphire standing still on the marble slab. The blue of the bottle shinning even in the dim-lit room.
 "I missed you," Y/N made eye contact, screwing the cap back on. A long, silent pause.
 I miss you too, so very much
 She cleared her throat, "so, how long are you staying?"
 "Going back Monday morning"
 She opened a can of tonic water.
 "Are you seeing someone?" Tom asked.
 "Wouldn't you wanna know" a smirk on her face grew. "I've been out on few dates, nothing serious. What about you?"
 "Met this girl online, dated for a bit but, she wanted something I couldn't give to her"
 Y/N scoffed, "did she have a foot fetish or something?"
 "No, Y/N. She wanted love, not my feet" they both laughed.
 "On that topic..." Tom calmed himself, "...I was listening to this song a few weeks ago and, there was this line, 'the smell of your hair reminds me of her feet' and it made me think of you"
 "I reckon," she took a sip of her gin and tonic.
 "No, seriously, I really related to that line. No matter how many people I hook up with, it will be hard to find the type of intimacy I shared with you. I still relate to it"
 "I hate going on walks alone and having faceless dreams," Y/N blurted, lacking a proper reaction.
 "You're still the face of all my fantasies," Tom confessed.
 None of them knew what to say next. Anything they thought of saying now included walking over the blurry line of exes to lovers.
 "You look pretty"
 "Classic me, had a glow up after getting my heartbroken"
 "You always looked this pretty. You are beautiful," Tom assured her. The 'heartbroken part did not sit well with him. He already felt guilty for taking a job across the pond which was a great opportunity for him to grow but was only possible by severing his ties with Y/N.  
 --
It had just started snowing on Boxing Day. Tom was alone in his cold home, boiling a pot of ramen noodles. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the burning stove with the pot on top.
Tom: *attached photo*
Tom: I come back after months and my family leaves me alone with no food
Y/N: you should add a poached egg
Tom: Thanks. I shall.
Tom: I think I made too much ramen for me
Tom: do you wanna come over and share?
 Her indecision was visible by the coming and going of the gray dots. Then finally, Tom could tame his anxiety by her simple reply.
 Y/N: sure.
--
There was a loud knock on the door. Tom put two bowls of hot ramen on the dining table and went to open the door. Behind the door, Y/N was standing with her hands inside her brown checker coat. There was dust of snow sitting on her shoulders. Her braided hair was made by the most anxious hands in town.
 The door opened and, Tom’s hands flew to take Y/N in his arms. They hugged like little kids hug their parents after being away from each other, for them, an eternity. It did feel like an eternity to them too but, they hadn’t forgotten each other’s touch.
 “I parked my car at the church, couldn’t find any spot here ‘cause of the snow," she pulled out.
 “The snow seems to be gaining momentum.”
 Y/N hummed in agreement. She took off her coat and hung it in the Holland’s coat closet.
 “Come on, the ramen is getting cold,” she followed tom into the kitchen.
 They sat adjacent on the wooden table in comfortable silence. Tom used chopsticks and, Y/N used a fork. Only the occasional noodles falling in the broth were heard, along with the gushing of wind.
 “It’s really spicy for me,” Tom said.
 “Yeah, I can see your ears turning red.”
She still remembers 
 Y/N raised her hand to cover her mouth while yawning.
 “Since you made the food, I’ll do the dishes,” she got up, grabbed their bowls, and walked over to the sink.
 Wearing the gloves, she turned to Tom, “it was quite tasty”.
 Tom gave her a smile.
 She spread the soap on the dishes and turned the tap on. Tom pushed his chair back to get up.
 “Have you made any friends at your new job,” he jumped and sat on the counter next to Y/N.
 “Yeah, sort of. Kyara works there too so, I have just made her friends my friends,” she washed his chopsticks.
 “That’s good. Have you talked to Emily after the wedding? She told me they are planning on adopting.”
 “They invited me over for dinner when they got the approval from the agency. Kyara made this amazing Hyderabadi biryani, it was her mum’s recipe so, it was obviously better than the restaurant”
 “God! You and your love for Indian food”
 Y/N removed her gloves, “I should go. Thanks for the ramen, by the way”
 “Are you sure you can go out in this weather?”
 “Yeah I think," she started walking out of the kitchen.
 Tom grabbed her hand. “Stay”, his voice was like cotton.
 Y/N turned and made contact with his pleading eyes. She moved closer to him. “Please”, he said. They both were inching in to lock their desperate lips.
--
Y/N did not notice when she had fallen asleep talking to Tom. Their naked bodies were covered by the white comforter. Her eyes slowly opened to a boy with brown eyes and messy hair looking at her.
 “I like it when you sleep. I love watching you sleep”
 She chuckled. “That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?” She had a sleepy voice.
 “You look so serene, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could stare at you for eons”
 “But love, I'm only here till the snow settles,” she caressed his cheeks.
“Then the cold shall frost our limbs," he leaned in to kiss her.
tags: @elios-timotea​
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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years
Text
Our boy - [Reid x Reader]
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Summary: Spencer Reid is anything but calm when his wife, reader, goes into labor.
Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader
Rating: Wholesome AF
Word Count: 2.3k
Category: Pure fluff. Maybe some angst if you squint, just because childbirth is angsty.
Content Warning: None that I can think of.
A/n: This is just a quick little idea that popped into my head earlier. I wrote it all in one go. We don’t get enough Dad!Spencer. 😊 Reader’s labor was inspired by true events. 
y/n = your name. italicized block of text is a flash back.
-- Our boy -- 
“Babe, you have got to calm down.” I didn’t even bother opening my eyes to look at my husband; I was too tired.
His voice was as close to a squawk as I have ever heard. “I am calm, y/n!” That had me cracking one eye open to stare at him, which caused him to huff out a short laugh. “Okay, maybe I’m not calm. But how can I be calm?” His beautiful brown eyes were swimming with worry. “This has taken such a long time, and you’re so tired. The doctor said things haven’t been progressing.”
“Oh, come on, doctor,” I said teasingly. “I’m sure that big brain of yours knows that it’s not uncommon for first time mothers to labor for a long time.”
“But it’s been thirty hours,” he protested.
“I’m aware. Talk to your son.” I pointed to my very large stomach. “This is his show.”
That caused him to smile, the first real smile I had seen on his face since he arrived here, about an hour after I did. We knew this was coming, I was overdue, our son choosing to stay inside my body for 41 weeks and 6 days. The doctors had said if I hit 42 weeks that we needed to discuss inducing labor. Because of that conversation, Spencer wasn’t with the rest of the team, they were on some case in god knows where, instead he was helping at headquarters with Penelope. The same woman I had called when my water broke. I wanted to call Spencer, I really did…but my husband is prone to overact, especially in situations like this.
Turns out calling Penelope wasn’t any better.
--
“Hello, Mrs. Dr. Reid!” she had chirped.
“Hi Penelope. Is my husband around?”
“He is with the second love of his life.”
Which meant he had made a coffee run. I laughed, despite the pain rippling across my stomach. “Okay, well, I need you to pull him away for the first love of his life. My water just broke.”
There was a beat of silence before the screaming started. “YOUR WHAT JUST WHAT?!”
Just at that moment I heard him in the background. “Garcia,” my husband said. “Who’s what did what?”
“Penelope, be-“
It was no use; she had already started screaming at him. “YOUR WIFE! YOUR SON IS TRYING TO EXIT HER LADY BUSINESS! WE HAVE TO GO!!”
They then promptly hung up, only to call back a few minutes later and ask which hospital I was at.
--
There was a knock on the door, drawing me out of my memories. “Mrs. Reid?” the doctor called before walking into the room. She was a short woman with curly grey hair; Spencer and I had never met her before, she was just the doctor on call, but something about her demeanor put me at ease.
I gave her a wan smile. “Hey Doc.”
She marched into the room them, no nonsense to be found; which was unfortunate, I was a very big fan of nonsense as perfectly highlighted by the man I chose to marry. “Mrs. Reid, I need to check to see where you’re at,” she said, already snapping on her gloves.
“Knock yourself out.” At a certain point during labor modesty just vanishes. I don’t even want to think about how many people have seen my vagina today.
I felt some pressure for a few seconds before she pulled back. “You’re still at 5 centimeters.”
This comment got a groan from my husband. “But she has to get to 10!”
“I’m aware, Dr. Reid.”
“She’s been in labor for 30 hours and 23 minutes and 16 seconds!”
“I am also aware of that, Dr. Reid,” she said, suppressing a smile. “Which is why we need to have a little chat.” She turned to me. “Mrs. Reid, I’m concerned about the baby.”
That caused mine and Spencer’s spines to stiffen. “What,” I asked. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“Not yet,” the doctor said hurriedly. “We have been monitoring your contractions and vitals…but we also monitor the baby’s heartrate. It’s nothing to be too alarmed about now, but his heartrate has slowed a bit.”
“But what does that mean? Is he in destress?” My husband asked; he sounded so afraid that I instinctively reached out to grasp his hand.
“It means he’s tired, Dr. Reid.” She offered us a small smile. “Mrs. Reid isn’t the only one going through this. The baby is too. Like I said, it’s not low enough to be an issue now, but if it drops much lower, we need to discuss other options.”
“…he’s tired?” my voice cracked on the last word, tears already pricking in the corners of my eyes.
“Baby,” Spencer whispered, leaning over to place a kiss on my temple. “It’s alright.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. It’s not alright. He’s my baby, Spencer. He’s our baby,” I all but bawled at him. “Our baby is tired.” I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and feel silly for how upset I had become…but I was so tired, and while the epidural numbed the pain, I still felt it. All of that I could endure, but I couldn’t endure this.
“I know,” he soothed. “But he’s fine. He’s okay.”
“I want to discuss other options,” I said, meeting the doctor’s gaze. “What are they?”
The doctor nodded, “Well, we could start a Pitocin IV. That’s a medicine we use to-“
“Cause the uterus to contract and speed up or induce labor,” Spencer interrupted, causing me to laugh, despite my tears. Even in times like this he was still…Spencer.
The doctor did not share in my amusement. “Yes,” she huffed. “That is one option. It runs the same risks, if his heartrate drops, we’ll need to move you to the O.R.” I gulped and Spencer squeezed my hand. “The other option is to take you back to the O.R. now.”
I looked over at Spencer, his eyes were wide and frightened, his always messy, curly hair was in a worse state than usual, his clothes were wrinkled. “I want our boy, Spence.”
He just nodded, bringing our joined hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to my knuckles. “It’s up to you, y/n. You know I’ll support whatever you want.”
Spencer gave me the courage to turn to face the doctor. “Let’s do it.”
--
Things progressed very quickly and very slowly at the same time. The room started bustling with different people doing different things to get me ready. Spencer called Penelope, who called the rest of his team, who were now all in the waiting room. How much Spencer’s co-workers at the FBI cared about him made me smile; they were his family, and by extension my family. Our little boy was going to be the most well looked after child in history.
Before I knew it, I was laying on my back in the operating room, a blue sheet put up just below my boobies. Apparently, most people didn’t want to watch themselves have a c-section. I couldn’t but laugh at the absurdity of the moment.
“What is it, my love?”
I turned my head to look at Spencer. His clothes were covered by some sort of yellow outfit, his hair was stuffed in one of those blue hat’s hospitals make you wear, I’m sure he could tell me the proper name, even his shoes were covered. One of his hands was gripping mine, the other slowly stroking the top of my head.
“I was just thinking about everything. Remember when we met?”
I realized how silly it was to ask a man with an eidetic memory if he remembered something right after I said it, something with which he agreed, given the look on his face. “Yes, y/n, I remember.” His hand squeezed mine tightly. “It was a Tuesday morning, at 7:34 a.m. You had on black pants and a light blue top, you didn’t notice me, but I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.”
That caused a tear to slide down from the corner of my eye, only to be wiped away by my husband. “I didn’t notice you because you were in line behind me,” I teased.
“That’s no excuse,” he insisted. “I would notice you anywhere.”
That made my heart squeeze in my chest. “I must be pretty special,” I surmised. “I pulled your attention away from coffee.”
His voice was breathy, his eyes shimmering. “You’re the most special thing in the entire world, y/n. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t know how I got the courage to speak to you when you walked by me, but I’ll be grateful that I did it for the rest of my life.”
It was my turn to reach up and wipe a tear from his face. “I’m glad you stopped me,” I whispered. “Our little guy probably is too.”
Spencer didn’t laugh like I expected him to; instead he bit his lip, his eyes bouncing from my face to the blue curtain that separated us from the doctors.
“What is it, baby?”
He swallowed, letting out a shaky breath. “I’m scared, y/n,” he whispered. “I’m afraid that I won’t be any good at this. I never had a dad…What if I’m not everything he needs me to be?”
I felt my heart crack in half. “Spencer, that’s not possible,” I insisted, ignoring the way he started to shake his head. “You could never let anyone down, especially not your family. Especially not your son. You are going to be the most amazing father. You’re going to love our son so much; you already do love him that much, Spence.”
He was crying in earnest now. “But, y/n,”
Spencer never got to finish that sentence. The doctor suddenly interrupted our hushed conversation. “Okay, dad,” she called. “Here he comes!”
My husband placed a kiss on my forehead before he stood up, looking over the curtain. He had insisted beforehand that he wasn’t going to look; he said he didn’t want to see me like that, but I knew he’d end up looking. My husband was far too curious to do anything else.  
A shrill cry cut through the air, causing my heart to stop. That was him. I had never heard him cry before, but I knew that sound as sure as I knew my own name; that was my son.
Spencer and I were crying when the doctor brought him around the curtain so I could see him. He was wrinkly, red, and looked positively furious. I had never loved anything more.
They took him to the examination room to make sure he was breathing okay. Spencer had told me after c-section births this was normal. “They don’t get squeezed when they’re born,” he had said. “So, the nurse checks them over, weighs them, all that.”
He looked down at me, tears streaming down his face, then back towards our son.
“Go,” I urged him. “Go get our boy, Spence. I’m fine.”
--
Spencer’s head poked through the door of my room. “Are you ready?” he asked.
“REID. If you don’t get the fuck out of my way and let me see my godson I swear to GOD.”
“Oh,” I groaned, giggling slightly, despite the pain. “Please don’t make me laugh.”
I don’t know if Spencer moved willingly or if Penelope had just had enough, but soon the door was thrown open and a parade of people poured inside.
“Oh, my god, Mrs. Dr. Reid,” Penelope gushed, her hands hovering over my son, then back up towards my face. “You look like an angel. How did you just have major surgery? How did you just give birth, because a c-section is giving birth-“
“Penelope,” I cut her off. “Do you want to see him?”
“Gimme.”
I pulled the blankets down around his body, staring at his little face before I handed him over.
“Oh, my mother effin god,” she whispered, looking around at everyone else in the room. “He is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. He even looks like a genius. I don’t know if you can look like a genius, but I think he does.”
“You don’t have to whisper, Garcia,” my husband said, coming to stand beside me, leaning over to kiss my forehead again. “She is right though, Mrs. Dr. Reid. You’re beautiful.”
“Quit hogging the baby,” JJ said, reaching for him. “I’m the co-god mother. Hand him over.”
Emily leaned over JJ’s shoulder, staring at him with a look of wonder. “What did you guys decide to name him?”
“Arthur,” I said quietly. “His name is Arthur Spencer Reid.”
--
The room was dark when I opened my eyes, my head turning towards the tiny cry that woke me up.
“I know, I know,” my husband whispered to the tiny bundle in his arms. “I miss your mom too; she’s the best person in the world and I wish she could be awake all the time too.” I bit my lip, trying to suppress my laugh. “But you have to let her sleep some, little man.” My son gave another cry. “I know, believe me.”
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.
“Talking to Arthur,” he said simply. “You know, speaking to a child whenever they reach the babbling stage of their cognitive development is actually very important. It encourages them to learn the language they’re hearing. You know, children are actually experts at learning languages. Studies have shown that children that become fluent in a language before the age of 13 are often able to fool native speakers into thinking they’re native speakers themselves.”
“Huh,” I said, smiling like a dope. That was my Spencer. “Did you hear that, Arthur? It sounds like your dad wants to teach you some languages.”
“Only a couple,” he whispered to our boy. Then he looked up at me, his eyes bright, despite the dark circles under them.
“You’re tired, babe,” I said, moving to sit up. “Give him here, you can get some rest.”
He just shook his head. “No, I’m alright. You rest.” Spencer looked down at his son again, who was already back to sleep. “No dream I have could be better than this.”
As usual, Dr. Spencer Reid was absolutely right.
-- 
Taglist: @rachelxwayne​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace 
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parcoeurs · 3 years
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Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.
thanks bestie so am i.
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okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:
but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)
he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.
and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.
they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.
so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.
and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)
they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)
"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.
"not without you again."
so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?
they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)
slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.
the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).
he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.
"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.
"what?"
"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.
his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).
he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.
but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)
the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.
maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.
charles cries when he reads it.
not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]
ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.
pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/
fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(
pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.
not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.
but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.
THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.
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hwrryscherry · 3 years
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The one where Harry and Model Y/N miss their christmas flight and have a little fun on their detour.
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blurb: It's the most wonderful time of the year so Harry & Model Y/ N rented a holiday house on the French Alps to celebrate Christmas with their families. It's finally the day to go and Harry is the one to blame when they lose their flight to meet their families in the Alps. Spoiler: Model Y/N gets furious at Harry's calm behavior.
warnings: fluff. They left Los Angeles on December 20th and arrived in the Alps on December 21st in case you guyst get confused.
word count: 7.1K
author's note: HIIIIIII guyyys! It's officially CHRISTMAS week and it's my favorite holiday ever sooo I imagined what Model Y/N and Harry would do on their holiday trip and I guess I'll post a blurb everyday with Christmas theme. AND i'll be suggesting a christmas song in every blurb. Enjoy and Merry Christmas♥️♥️♥️♥️
christmas song of the day: Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande.
December 19th, 2020 - 11PM
    It was a very cold night in Los Angeles for you to be walking around in your pajamas with no shoes on, a face mask on your face and wet hair that left small water drops through the closet floor as you continued to walk between your clothes and your suitcase that was settled in the floor. You wanted to be laid down in bed, in your cozy and warm bed because you were so tired and a good night of sleep were everything you actually desired.
    As you tried to decide on the coats that you were going to take to your Christmas holiday in the French Alps. You felt a gaze directed to you, what made you bring your head up so you could see Harry stopped at the door frame. He looked very calm. Otherwise, you looked desperate; your flight was scheduled to 6:45 AM. You had to sleep as it was already late and you haven't even packed your stuff but at least you could do it with just some minutes unlike Harry. Anyway, Harry had his grey sweatpants on with a TPKW merch hoddie, his hair, unlike yours, was already completely dry. You probably have to stop washing your hair so late at night but now wasn't the moment to think about this.
— God, why didn't I pack earlier? — You asked rhetorically as you sighed taking some of your favorite pants and folding them right before putting them in the suitcase.
— Exactly! I told ya to do it earlier today but you said you still had time. — Harry said on a convincing way as he drank a sip of his water that he held in a bottle. You just rolled your eyes at him. You hated being stressed and you hated even more when you were stressing over something and Harry says something like "I told you so." You hate conflict and specially when it's with Harry and now was definitely not the moment, so you just shrugged it off.
— By the way, which suitcase are you taking? Because I found yours up in the shelf. — You said, never taking your eyes away from the clothes you were putting on the floor as you created combinations and outfits for you to have an idea before putting it in the suitcase; you were on your knees as you decided to which clothes you'd take with you.
   Harry went completely silent at the moment he heard you. This was the time he realized that with all the things you both were setting up for the trip today, he completely forgot of packing his stuff. Harry froze, he felt it through all his body. He knew how much you were stressed over all the things you both did today to get prepared for the trip, and he'd swear to god that you'd completely lost it at the moment he'd tell you he forgot about it.
   You looked over at him because of his silence and his expression said everything his mouth didn't. You stopped moving your hands immediately and kept a straight face at him literally praying he was only joking, but he wasn't.
— Are you for real? — You'd ask resting your hands over your thighs as you only received silence as a response — Harry, I can't believe you! — You'd say sounding extremely frustrated. You'd pass your hands over your face trying to wake you up more because truly, you were so sleepy right now. You'd feel your cold hands pass through your wet strands of hair before looking at him getting more into the closet now.
— Love, I'm so sorry! — Harry'd say entering the room and bend down next to you avoiding touching your clothes on the floor — It's just... I went all the way today resolving all the other stuff for the trip and I completely forgot about it! — Harry would say with puppy eyes, he actually felt kinda ashamed for just saying to you that he told you to pack before when he didn't even remembered to do it himself.
— I know, I know — You said getting more relaxed on the floor now crossing your legs — It's just, you take so long to do it everytime and we need to grab some sleep tonight — You'd say making an emphasis on the "so long" making Harry sigh. He instantly stand up after you finished talking, walking directly towards the shelf to grab his own suitcase putting it on the floor as he opened it too.
— No, I won't take too much time! I'll just grab some stuff. I'll show you and you tell me what you think! — Harry said as he opened his part of the closet immediately looking through the pants, the many pants he had actually — It's okay! — He'd say, probably trying to convince himself more than actually you. You have no idea why but whenever Harry had to pack his suitcase he'd take hours to do it, he would just take hours to decide on each outfit and then he'd decide when to wear it and if he was actually going to wear it, so yes, it would literally take hours.
   Later, Harry'd think about it all while he contemplated you from the bed. He was lying on his side, propping his head on his hand, so he could get a more proper look at you.
   It took both of you two hours to pack Harry’s suitcase and it was around 1AM now. You don’t think he knows what ‘'It’ll be fast’’ actually means. You were now in front of the mirror. You used the comb to brush your now dry hair while looking in the mirror. You have had long nights at work before and you've been very tired several times but this time, it felt different.
   This is the first time that you and Harry have decided what to do for Christmas and thank God there would be no hosting; but even so it's difficult to organize things for so many people. Harry has been so helpful, and you can't complain. Even though he was tired of being on set, he always donated his time to talk about Christmas, but how could he avoid it? He loved it. He loved being able to get together with his family and spend a good and happy time. Harry remembers the first Christmas you spent together. It was 2018 and you guys went to Holmes Chapel to celebrate. That was also the first Christmas of your life where you wouldn't spend it with your mother because, well, you didn't want to abuse it and take her to Anne's house. Harry realized how sad it had made you and surprised you on Christmas Eve afternoon when he came home from an alleged "supermarket drive" with your mother. He remembers how happy you were, your genuine smile that you just couldn't get off your face, and he remembers how much he fell ten times more in love with you that day. There was not even a year that you were together, god, as time flies.
   You have finished brushing your hair and put the comb in the first drawer of the counter. You left the bathroom to walk to your bed feeling Harry's gaze on you making you frown and smile at him as you lay on the bed covering yourself with the covers.
— Why are you looking at me like this? — You ask taking the covers up to your neck while turning to be able to face the boy's face, who was now accompanied by a tender smile.
— Nothing much, just memories! — Harry said as he watched the yellow light from his lamp reflect in your eyes —You're so beautiful it makes me angry sometimes. — Harry said pulling a chuckle from you. God, how he loved that sound. He then extended his arm to turn off the lamp leaving the room in total darkness, then going deeper under the covers as well.
— Oh, you're just saying that! — You responded by making him chuckled now with your fake modest — You set the alarm clock, right? — You asked him softly, trying your best to keep your eyes open even though they insisted on wanting to close.
— I did! — Harry said approaching you, feeling your body heat under the covers. He brought his right hand to your waist and pulled you closer to his chest, taking the opportunity to kiss your temple. — Let's sleep now okay? I love you! — Harry said feeling you nod and whisper a soft '' I love you too ''. It was a combination of you to say you love each other every night before going to sleep; you did it even when you fought, but in these cases I love you's usually came with "but I'm really mad at you."
December 20th, 2020 — 6:00 AM.
      You were in such a deep sleep, you two were. The truth is: this instability was not your thing. At one day you were in London, the next in NYC, the next in LA, then in Palm Springs and now back in Los Angeles, the hard part would believe you wouldn't be tired of it. And it's precisely because of tiredness that neither you nor Harry heard the four times that the alarm went off, but let's agree that having gone to sleep after one in the morning packing Harry's suitcase was a big factor to consider.
   5:00 AM, 5:20 AM, 5:30 AM, 5:45 AM... Nothing, you didn't even move, well, you did move to pull the covers next to you. For some reason your eyes slowly opened. You stared at the light coming from the curtains content with yourself for waking up even before the clock woke up, little did you know.
   You stretched and took your hands to rub your sleepy eyes then using one of them to get your phone that was powering on the nightstand next to the bed. When you unlock the phone screen and face the hours, you felt your heart beat faster. You blinked briefly to see if you were seeing the right time and got out of bed in a heart beat.
— HARRY! — You said basically screaming. Harry woke up quickly, his heart racing as he sat on the bed and watched you standing, putting on your slippers quickly. He watched you take a hair tie from the drawer of your nightstand and quickly tie your long strands of hair into a ponytail.
— What...What happened? — Harry said using his hands to rub his eyes as he slowly got up from the bed.
— It's already six in the morning, the alarm didn't go off! — You said quickly what surprised Harry, since normally you spoke even slowly — Come on, get up! We have 45 minutes to get to the airport, and it's a 35 minute drive. We need to start getting ready quickly. — You walked directly to the bathroom counter, pouring liquid facial soap into your hands and washing your face. You couldn't see it, but you heard the noise of Harry changing clothes in the room. You absolutely hated leaving the house in the morning without taking a shower, but you wouldn't have any time for that.
   You chose not to wear any makeup, as always in fact. You just put sunscreen on your face and loosened your ponytail feeling your long strands of hair fall over your shoulders as you retreated from the suite bathroom and spotted Harry wearing jeans and an oversized black sweatshirt walking past you to use the bathroom himself now. You opened your part of the wardrobe by grabbing yourself a black jan bell pants, a black t-shirt too and a pink sweatshirt over it in which you dressed up fastly, and put your white sneakers as well. 
— Have you finished? — You said putting your cell phone, charger, wallet and other essentials in your handbag as you approached the bathroom door observing Harry dry his hands on the towel and then saying a brief "Yes" after putting on his rings on his fingers. He turned off the bathroom light and turned to you while the two of you started walking towards the stairs, where you went down with your suitcases in hand. The original plan was to call a car to take you to the airport but clearly, there was no time for that, so you guys would go in Harry's car, which would be picked up at the airport by Jeff who had promised Harry that he would take him back to the house.
   The sun was still cold, that cold early morning sun where the sky still has that lilac color mixed with orange. You left your suitcase in front of the trunk and walked to the passenger seat next to the driver where you sat down and installed the belt instantly while Harry just put both suitcases in the trunk, then closed it and walked to the front of the car as well, and right after sitting in the driver's seat putting on the seat belt, he started the engine and starting to drive as well.
   The drive to the airport was quiet. There was little traffic, nothing compared to LA traffic but there was still a little. Harry prayed it didn't have any fans at the airport, not because he didn't want to see them, but because you were so late and he knew that neither of you would ignore your fans and just keep walking. When Harry parked the car, you might notice some paparazzi's outside, nothing too crowded actually. In less than two minutes, you were already out of the car with your bags on a cart walking, let's say, very quickly until the airport check-in. You were a little impatient to see that there was a line of about five people before you. You looked at the time on your cell phone and sighed, turning the screen to Harry showing that it was now 6:47 AM and there were still three more people in front of you. You had a frustrated and worried look, just the thought that maybe you can't make it to your destination and Harry realized that, he always perceives the smallest things in and about you; let it be a different sigh to a different gleam in the eye. He perceives everything, even though you're wearing a mask now.
   Harry wrapped you in his arms, hugging you tight and kissing your hairline as a form of affection. Your head was between Harry’s neck where you could perfectly smell his scent, and the comforting warmth he emanated; you could have sworn that nothing and no one could get you out of that moment, but then your turn came in line and a man called you.
— Good Morning ma'am! May I help you? — The man said trying to sound sympathetic. You were hoping that Harry could resolve this but apparently, the guy asked you and not him. You put a few strands of your hair behind your ears, and you formed the phrases in your head.
— Good Morning! — You said first, feeling Harry touching the ends of your hair behing your back — So, we had two tickets for the flight of 6:45 AM for Paris but, unfortunately we couldn’t make it in time. Is there any way that you could get us new tickets? Anything would be amazing!  — You said, while mentally praying that there was at least one flight that would take you there. The plan was that you were going to make a scale in Paris and then taking the train to the French Alps which would be a 5-hour train ride, but as you were counting on a direct flight to Paris, it wouldn’t be a problem to stay on a train for five hours.
— Look, ma'am. — The guy sighed looking a little frustrated. Harry touched your shoulders and squeezed a little feeling how hard your shoulders muscle were from tension — I do have a flight for Paris! — In the moment he said it you and Harry let out a deep breath relieved — But, it's going to scale in New York and London!
— And how many hours of traveling? — Harry asked getting a little closer to the counter putting his glove covered hand over the counter as well.
— Around 18 or 20 hours — The man answered and you and Harry sighed. You would be there in the morning on the LA time, and on the French Alps time it will probably be 6:30 AM too. You let out a long breath, and Harry looked at you attentively looking for any sign of giving up; he wanted to go, of course, but if you said it would be better to stay, he would be without a second thought.
— Well, we have to go, right? — You said softly to Harry and then redirected your gaze to the man and nodded. — Okay, we’ll keep the tickets.
—They’re economic tickets, all right? I see here that you had executive tickets — The man asked and you can't hesitate to drop a light chuckle.
— No problems! — Harry replied, and then he returned to finishing to configure the informations of your new tickets.
  It didn't really take long, a few minutes and you already had the new tickets in hand. As you both walked to find a place to sit, you remembered that with all the running from the morning none of you had breakfast. You checked your bags on the conveyor belt and went up the escalators at the big LAX Airport looking for a small restaurant to buy something. You chose the Urth Caffé & Bar because you were used to eating in there whenever you had to travel. It was a very cute and cozy place with a yellow lighting, wood tables and chairs that gave a whole charm to it. You both ordered a coffee; you ordered a latte and Harry ordered a black coffee, and to eat you both ordered bagels sandwiches. There were some fans in there this time. They were all pretty respectful and nice when they came over asking for pictures. You both took the pics and talked with them for a while until you had to leave which honestly made your heart aches. You loved when you could meet and talk to your fans, to create that connection it's so important to you but you couldn't risk missing another flight.
   As you were already settled up on your seats, you re-checked your seat bell probably five times in a row while the "In case of emergency" video passed on the little screen in front of you. Harry noticed you checking it again, and he used his hands to hold yours as a sign to stop you.
— Hey, you already did that... — Harry said looking directly into your eyes — Five times, love!
— Oh... — You whispered then redirecting yourself on your seat. The truth is, you're a model, you date a singer and you're probably more in a plane than in your own house, but you are terrified of it. You've always been, just the thought of being on a plane scares you. And we don't even have to say about whenever a turbulence would occurs. Harry knew that, and he took it as a responsibility of his to keep you calm whenever you were on a plane together.
— Oh, let's watch something together! — Harry said getting his upper body closer to you looking at your little screen — We can choose the same thing and watch it!
— Sure, something on your mind? — You asked as you grabbed the ear plunges of the plane trying to turn it on as Harry now were turning his phone off.
— I don't know! Since we finished watching Bly Manor, I have no idea what we should watch next — Harry said putting his phone on his pocket, and then grabbing himself his ear plunge.
— Oh god, and how good was it? — You said having a fan girl moment. Literally, you were such a fan of The Haunting series and all about it. You and Harry binged watching The Haunting of Bly Manor in like a day. — But.. — You turned on your screen and started to look through the christmas movies, yes you also loved them. Both of you do, who doesn't like christmas movies? — Oh, let's watch Princess Switch 2? We didn't have time to watch it! — You clicked on the movie, so you could read the synopsis to have an idea what would be about. You and Harry watched the first one back in 2018 and you guys really liked it so this could be cool. It's actually kinda crazy all of the stuffs you've watched together. It's crazy how you guys can watch a really serious and heavy movie and then watch all of Barbies movies on the same day.
— Alright, let's watch it! — Harry agreed as he searched for the movie himself — I saw in the trailer that there's a third twin on this movie.
— Love, they're not twins!— You'd say getting your movie ready to be started.
 — They're not? Of course they are! If they're not, then what are they? — Harry said putting his ear plunges on and getting the covers that the airplane company use to put on the seats for the passagers. You actually think it's cute that Harry has this thing on being under the covers and cuddled up whenever he was watching to a movie, and with the weather like this, it would be perfect. I mean, it's cold in LA with 46 F°, as you lived in NYC before you could only imagine how the weather was in there with 32F°. But anyway, you kinda missed NYC a little bit. It's honestly kinda messed up now because you haven't officially moved to LA from New York, but the last time you were in NY was probably in early May, before your birthday because you both celebrated your birthday in Holmes Chapel with Anne and Gemma.
— I don't know — You'd chuckle to answer his question feeling him spread the covers on both of you and snuggle himself on your chest — I think they're relatives in some point, but they're not twins! — You'd hear a soft "oh" from Harry as you put the ear plunges yourself and clicked the movie to play. In general, you watched the movie commenting on the scenes and you both really liked it, it was funny and not tiring at all. And then after it, you both bing watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I know it seems crazy but you've been so obsessed with it lately and anytime you were obsessed with something you'd usually make Harry get obsessed too. And I mean, it was a 5-hour long flight and you both could catch up with some housewives drama. The flight ended, and you both arrived in NYC, you'd have a 1 hour and a half stop and you managed to think you both could actually do something in this hour, obviously nothing to far away from the airport, you wouldn't take any risks. So you'd chose one of your favorite places in New York ever aka the M&M's Store. God, you loved this place, and you loved M&M's, and so did Harry.
   There were some paparazzi on the street, but this is NY and it's just a daily basis thing. You both walked around the store buying some really cool chocolates when you saw a cute one with marshmallows and you showed it to Harry getting a disgusted face from him.
— No, I'm so allergic to marshmallow! — Harry would say grabbing some kind of M&M's to see and you rolled your eyes recalling the number of times you both had this conversation before. You turned around getting right on Harry's front and looking into his eyes.
—  You’re not allergic to mashmallows! You’re allergic to one of the ingredients in it, if you do the homemade one you can eat it normally, oh my god! — You said trying your best to show your sassy side and Harry actually only continue saying this because he knows you'll react like this and he think it's cute, so he'd just get closer to your face and give a peck to your lips.
— I know, sorry! — He'd say smirking a little and fixing his beanie on his head with his left hand — I love the ones you make, by the way.
— I know, I'm such a master chef that's how I made you fall in love with me! — You'd answer him with a smirk on your face when you turn around to look more over the chocolates.
— And who said I love ye’, miss? — Harry said mocking you and you’d immediately turn to stare at his face with the most realistic offended expression you could create now.
— Um, excuse me? — You’d say with your righthand touching your chest with raised eye browns — If that’s how you feel I'm just gonna go over there look for Brad Pitt! — You’d say with your sassy tone starting to walk away from him but you were stopped by him when he grabbed your empty hand bringing you closer to him 
— Oh so you're overlapping me for Brad Pitt? — Harry said making you roll your eyes with a playful smile in your mask covered lips.
— Well, take it as a revenge for overlapping me for Mitch every day! — You'd say making him let out a loud laugh — But, I'll consider letting this go if we go to Victoria Secrets right now and you buy me my favorite fragrance!
— Oh, you're such a blackmailer! — Harry would say shaking his head slowly and crossing his arms close to his body watching you put your best puppy eyes on display — Alright, just because I probably love that fragrance more than you! — He said making you give him a big smile that he could notice by the way your eyes got smaller. This is actually a joke because it was pretty rare for having you ask Harry to buy you anything, you'd always tell him that you "didn't need anything", and specially when he comes home with those really expensive Gucci merch. Honestly, all the expensive things that you have, like, Chanel, Versace, Gucci were usually gifts from the brand and a few from Harry because you're much of a economizer thinking that these are actually pretty expensive things and you don't actually need. Why would you go around with a 3 thousand dollars Gucci bag when you can buy a super cute bag for 50 dollars? Yep, Harry didn't understand that on the many times he got you something expensive so then, now he rarely does it because he knows that the way for your heart it's probably the most simple and genuine he can be.
 In the VS shop, you were looking through the fragrances for you favorite one that was Bare Vanilla, it's probably the best. And you've been using it for years now, literally since you were a teenager. When you finally found your Bare Vanilla Kit, you were actually surprised by Harry behind you holding a set of lingerie on the color of pearl with some baby blue lace details. You looked at it and then later at the lingerie and then at him again with a "what is that?" expression on your face.
— Love, I know ye' came here to buy the fragrance but this would look so good in you! — Harry said making a louder voice while pronouncing the "so good" making you touch the fabric with your hands in silence thinking about it as you looked, yes it was really pretty. What can you do? Your man does have a good taste. — Ok I'll buy it as your christmas gift! — You said taking the lingerie carefully from his hand.
— For me? I was thinking more of you in it, but I can wear it if you want. I bet it will define all of my sexy curves — Harry said putting a hand on his own waist making a pose making you laugh out loud of his words, it's the sass for me.
— No, oh my god! I'll be the present. This could be the gift paper — You'd say winking on an eye at him as you tried to control your laugh seeing the smirk on his face, this little promiscuous guy.
   On your way back to the airport you noticed very similar words on a wall beside you and you couldn't hold your emotion when you saw it. It was a black wall written "Do You Know Who You Are?", as in Lights Up. When you showed Harry he got so smiley and blushed at the same time, it's just the shyness in him. You took a quick picture of it before actually entering the airport again. Right on time.
  You were about to face another flight with a six hour and 40 minutes of duration and god, in this cold weather, with covers, hoddies, M&M's, movies and your love made everywhere feels cozy and warm. On this flight, you agreed to watch The Notebook with Harry, and you liked it very much, not as much as he did, but you liked it.  You had taken your sneakers off staying with your socks only, you had also let your hair loose as you leaned your head on Harry's shoulder this time, fixing your covered legs under the cover and feeling the warm sensation coming from his body heat, it wasn't much until Harry realised that you were completely asleep when he tried to talk to you about how Ellie's mom had such an attitude when she decided to hide Noah's letter from Ellie all those years but instead, he saw your sleeping face on his shoulder and his heart melted at the vision so he just decided to let you sleep because he really thought you deserved to, and also, after the movie ended he did sleep as well.
   Your flight arrived in London by 7:28 PM on Los Angeles time. By London's time it was already 5:28 AM, and it had a 44 F° weather. You had a smaller scale time this time. It was a 35 minutes scale, thank god. You both took your time to walk inside the airport. You loved London. You really did. You loved the weather and the beautiful places to visit in here, oh and the cute british accents, you loved it.
   You both walked through the airport observing everything. The people, the christmas lights and the stores. Harry had one of his arms over your shoulders as you walked through it. As you entered the stores session, you'd spot World Duty Free store and look at Harry. — Let's go to World Duty Free and buy colorful highlighters so you can use it on christmas eve! — You say while stopped walking when you got in front of the referred store. Harry looked at the big illuminated sign with the store's name and then back at you.
— A colorful one? D' you think it'll look good? Maybe a gold one, no? — He said pushing you into the illuminated store. You loved that Harry knew this stuff and how sometimes when you'd have nothing to do he would let you put some makeup on his face because he knew you didn't like putting it on your face often.
— Yeah, a gold one would be better! I'll go find one, try looking for other stuff — You'd say getting out of his embrace and walking to the other corner of the store. You looked through the makeup wall in front of you as you searched for a gold highlight.
— Hello, may I help you? — A very young lady came to you with the store's uniform. You looked at her smiling tenderly and shook your head. — Oh no, thank you! I was just looking for a highlighter, but I already found it! — You said showing her the little package in your hand and she smiled back at you saying that if you needed anything else you could call her and you thanked. You would keep looking through the wall to see if you wanted anything else when you noticed a tall man coming over you. You looked at him because well, he was staring you.
— Hm... Hi, I'm Ryan! — He said shyly to you. You just stayed there looking at him with no moves — Hm, I just wanted to say that your American accent it's really cute and... Would you mind giving me your number? — He'd say nervously, and you let out a chuckle as you closed your eyes for a moment.
— I’m really flattered, but I’m here with my boyfriend, I’m sorry — You said softly as you could see Harry coming over to you guys with a very straight face. — There he is! — You pointed at Harry that quickened his pace a little when he saw you pointing at him.
— Oh, I apologize! Anyway, merry christmas! — He said with a tender smile as he walked away from you when you murmured a "Merry Christmas". Harry finally got to you and frowned his eyebrows a little looking at the guy’s back and then back at you.
— Who was it? — Harry softly asked containing his jealousy. Whenever Harry would say in interviews that he was an easily jealous person, he wasn’t joking. But he learned to contain it now because this was the biggest discussion maker on the beginning of your relationship.
— It was this guy Ryan trying to hit on me — You’d say with a smirk on your face because you knew this would tease him — He politely asked me for my number, and then I told him that I was here with my boyfriend.
—You should’ve told him you were here with your handsome and sexy boyfriend — Harry said with joking tone and you raised your eyebrows at him as you started to walk towards the cashier.
— No, I think just ''boyfriend'', is enough!  — You’d say mocking him before you paid your bill. And walked back to the departuring space for Paris.
   You confess that coming back to Paris made you a little nervous. The last time you were here was in February and it was quite...peculiar. But it would be just a scale and things would occur right.
   The flight for Paris were definetely the the fastest one as it lasted only an hour and fifteen minutes. You both had dinner in the plane while binge watching The Real Housewives of Bervely Hills, a little obssesed maybe? Harry had already warned Anne about both of you being late as you all scheduled to get there maybe 6 or 7 hours ago, but as the iconic Queen of Genovia said once ‘’A queen is never late, anybody else is just earlier’’. Oh, you both could’ve watched The Princess Diaries today, damn it.
— As we’re here, we have to admit it... It was quite an adventure, wasn’t it? Three cities in a day — Harry would say taking the ends of your hair between his fingers.
— It was, but I kinda wished we had a little bit more of time in London so we could go to the London Eye — You’d say causing Harry to happily agree with you as it was one of his favorite attractions to go in London.
— All I know is that when we get in there I’ll sleep for as long as I can.
— How can ye’ be sleepy? You slept all the flight from New York to London and I know it! — You’d ask really curiously about his answer because it actually made you surprised on how easily he could sleep. He could be sitting on the most uncomfortable chair in the world but if he closes his eyes, he’ll easily fall asleep.
— It’s my natural talent! Did you think that I could only sing? — He asked rhetorically with a very convincin' tone.
— I’m sorry then Mr.Sleepy! — You would say mocking him as you turned your phone on to answer your missed texts. Gemma has already sent you tons of texts about the house and how’s the climate in there. She told you that you both better be all wrapped up or instead she’ll push your face, oh the good old family love.
    When the plane landed, you and Harry grabbed your suitcases as fast as you could so you could get a cab to the train station and finally arrive on the Alps. You loved Paris in the winter. You loved Paris by the night, and that hasn’t changed. There weren’t paparazzi which contributed to keep you calm but there were maybe some fans spotting you guys and asking for pictures. They’d ask if you both were going to celebrate Christmas in Paris and you’d tell them that it’s just a scale. You were calm but Harry wasn’t. Since the prank in Paris from February, Harry has been incredibly more protective than he already was, and getting back in Paris actually remembered him of that night and that he wouldn’t let it happen again.
   But it all turned out good, the train ride actually felt so relaxing and that made you wonder why in the world none of you have ever traveled together by train. Neither of you slept, though, you both talked. Talked for hours nonstop. You talked about your jobs, your experiences, what you like and what you don’t. You talked about what you wished for 2021 and you even chuckled a bit when Harry said he was looking foward to put ring on your finger in 2021; bullshit, you'd think. But anyway, you'd talk on how in some way you both were grateful for having each other during the hard times we’re all living, getting to know each other better while there was nobody on the streets because actually, if the world was ending you both wouldn’t want to spend it anywhere else and with anyone else.
   The train ride was so calm, so great, so both of you. You were not the kind of couple that needed all luxury, that needed to go out every weekend to have dinner on a fancy restaurant, that needed to buy each other expensive gifts and needed to share every detail of what you did. You were simple. You were comfortable discovering a new world and experiencing things together on your own way and your own time. Neither of you needed all of those stuff. You only needed each other. You needed to feel the warm of each others body, you needed to be graced by the sound of each others laugh and voice, you needed to see the smile on each others faces and to know that even when times get hard you’d always have each other. Your relationship wasn’t perfect, none are. But in the end of the day love always win and if you love each other and it’s meant to be the rest will be history.
   As the sun was starting to rise, you leaned your back in Harry’s chest so you could both see the view from the big glass window. You had your hair loosened on his chest as he envolved you on his arms hugging you from behind supporting his chin by the top of your head. The light yellow sun made the snow even whiter and more resuscitating by touching it with its rays. The sky had this lilac and orange colors, and it seemed to have a breeze air, you couldn’t confirm it though as the train was warmed by a heater. You’d start murmuring to the song Turning Page by Sleeping at Last which caused Harry to smile tenderly. He knew you were doing it by a reflex and actually didn’t think he was going to listen to it, but he did. And he smiled because this had been you guys song for almost three years now. 
—Your love’s my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain — Harry would start singing really close to your ears. Really close and really softly, causing you to smile now but never taking your eyes of the view of the window — Every kiss is a cursive line. Every touch is a redefining place — You’d close your eyes caressing his arm around you and then opening your eyes again, messing with his rings that covered the fingers on his strong hands.
— I surrender who I’ve been, for who you are — You’d complement the song lycris with your eyes closed, feeling nothing more than peace.
— For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart — Harry kept singing holding you tight, because he never would want to let you slip away of his embrace — If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, I would’ve known what I’ve been living for.
— What I’ve been living for! — You complemented. There’s no other place either of you would want to be now. Of course this wasn’t the trip that you both planned, but it was better. It was different, funny and relaxing, and that’s the one thing for you.
   You both got out of that train feeling nothing more than peace, and that’s the spirit of the holidays, isn’t it? The cold sharp of air hitted your face immidietely and you both rushed to get a car that could take you to the holiday house. Gemma would probably kills both of you for not being properly wrapped up but she actually didn’t, thank god for her to be sleeping.
   When you both arrived at the house you struggled a bit to unlock it with the keys but it worked and you came across a beautiful Christmas decoration with a huge christmas tree with a lot of lights and some other cute decorations too. It almost felt like North Pole but it would probably be ten times colder than it was here. You both left your bags on the living room floor and went to take a small tour on the house, when you arrived at the kitchen there were a plate full of brownies and a small note.
    Harry & Y/N,
we couldn’t wait for you to arrive because we were so sleepy but we did those brownies for you guys. Eat it, you must be hungry! We love you and we're looking foward to see you in the morning
                                           — love, Anne.
— Your mother is the best person on the entire universe! —  You’d say showing the note to Harry and grabbing yourself a piece of brownie as he took the small paper on his hands to read it himself as you took a bite from one brownie—  And those brownies are the best thing I’ve ever eaten.
     TO BE CONTINUED.... Christmas special part 1
118 notes · View notes
graykageyama · 3 years
Text
again.
SYNOPSIS: arguments are bound to happen to couples, especially those in the long-term ones. you just have to forgive the other right? but what if one of you was already tired from always being the one to reach out?
PAIRING: miya atsumu x reader
GENRE(S): angst
WARNINGS: cussing, swear words
WORD COUNT: 2.3K
-----
12:32 AM
It had been 3 hours already, and yet no text from Atsumu. You both had another argument which eventually led him to leave your shared apartment. You never even thought the argument would blow up like this. You don't even know where he went. As usual, he will never text you unless you do first. Not a trace from your boyfriend, you sighed as you recalled your last exchange.
-----
You opened the front door with a heavy heart. Today was a great day, well supposedly. You finally had been recognized for your efforts in the company you've been working for. It was supposed to be a big company party, where you can finally bring your boyfriend as your date. Receiving the trophy and announcing your new position, your eyes scanned once again the halls for the familiar blonde. But alas, he wasn't there.
"Where are you?" (Sent, 2:39 PM)
"I'm about to be called up on the stage soon. I'm so excited about this, TsumTsum!" (Sent, 3:15 PM)
"Finally, got it Tsum! HA! I can finally add a trophy of my own in our collection. I still hope there's some space though, after all, your trophies took up so much space. Tsktsk. Kidding! You know I am so proud of your achievement , babe! Anw, where are you? You missed me receiving my award, but maybe, you can still catch up to the party! Message me, okay?" (Sent, 3:38 PM)
"Hey, where are you baby? I thought you are able to celebrate with me?" (Sent, 4:05 PM)
"Baby.. Will you still be able to come here?" (Sent, 5:45 PM)
"The party just ended. I'm on my way home now. Reply soon babe, yeah?" (Sent, 6:27 PM)
"Home already, love." (Sent, 7:16 PM)
You went straight to the bedroom, and changed into your loungewear. You didn't bother to remove your makeup yet, still slightly hoping that Atsumu would make it up and bring you to a dinner date. You looked at the suit hanging on the handle of your closet. Still no text from Atsumu, you thought. Maybe practice is just running late? But he promised though, he told me he would support me today.
You heard some keys fumbling from the front door, and the lock being opened. You finally saw your boyfriend still in his casual clothes from training, taking off his shoes, and dropping the gym bag at the floor. You walked towards his direction.
"Hey, honey" you said with a weak smile. "Where were you today"?
Atsumu gave you a side hug as he fumbles with the pockets of his jackets to take out his keys, wallet and phone. "Training was so tiring, babe. Coach had us do 6 full sets today, but we were so evenly matched and grouped so each set ended like with around 30 points. But my serves were completely off today, which is why I wanted to work on them for about 2-3 hours after practice. I couldn’t even score a single service ace today." He grumbled as he walked towards the kitchen. "Hey, no food today? You haven't cooked dinner yet, honey? You know your cooking always cheers me up after a stressful day."
"Uhm, sorry honey. I had already eaten at the company earlier today, and I'm still quite full." Guilt coating your words with not being able to feed your boyfriend.
"Huh, well , I guess I have no choice but to order take out then. You should have ordered me one babe if you weren't planning to cook me some dinner." He said as his eyes quickly scrolled through his phone and called the Sushi place, missing the notifications of messages he received from you.
"Mhmm, I'm sorry love. Won't do it again, will make it up to you soon." 
The sushi delivery arrived after a few minutes, and Atsumu immediately scarfed down the meal. You sat across from him, while scrolling through the phone. "Leave the dish washing to me babe, it's the least I can do."
"Thanks babe, you're the best!" Atsumu chuckled as he took another bite. His eyes focused on you, noticing that there was slightly different with your makeup today. "You look pretty today, baby. Where did you go today? You only wear that makeup when there are parties you had to attend to, love" He took the last piece into his mouth, as he waited for your reply.
"I, uhmm, my promotion was finally announced today Tsum, at the company party.” You said with a low You saw Atsumu stiffen from your peripheral vision. He quickly opened his phone again and saw the date today. He also read the messages you had sent him today. 
“Fuck shit, I’m sorry Y/N. I completely forgot today, and training was so rough. I’ll make it up to you.” He said as he held your hands. 
“Uhmm, it’s alright Atsumu, I understand.” Your eyes still remained low as you cannot maintain the eye contact he was giving you. 
“You don’t look okay though, babe. Tell me, what’s wrong? ” He squeezed your hands and rubbed reassuring circles against your skin. “You told me we’ll be open to each other, yeah?”
You squeezed your eyes shut as you took a deep breath. “Well, this was not the first time this has happened Tsumu. You missed a lot of big events in my life. The time I had a successful presentation, the time I scored a huge client for the company, and the 7 times I was recognized as employee of the month.” You squeezed his hands as you tried to stop your tears from forming. “Not once, Tsumu. Not once did you attend any of them. “ 
“But I gave you gifts in return right? I was able to make it up you. I thought we’ve already talked and forgotten about this.” He retrieved his hands from you and cross them in front of his chest. “You’re being pathetic, Y/N. Stop bringing up past arguments, you know this does not have to do anything from them. I said I was sorry, okay? I also gave you those jewelry, and that red dress you absolutely loved. I thought we’ve already settled this”.
“I know, Tsumu, and I am truly thankful for the gifts you have given me. But I was just hoping that you would support me too with my career. I mean, I have always went to support you with your games and I just wanted you to do the same for me. “ Tears were definitely filling up your eyes as you choked up a sob. “Just once, Tsumu. Is it that hard to ask?”
“Well damn it, Y/N! You already know how busy my schedule can be. You can’t keep on demanding these things from me. My time is so limited, and I have to train hard since the tournament is coming up.” He stood up and raised his voice, pointing at you. ”You have always been so needy, so clingy of my time. Why can’t you understand that I am giving you the best I can give with my time? What else do you want, huh? Are you just making this up so I can buy you another purse? A pair of earrings? Tell me what you want so we can forget about this already.” Taking out his card, ready to give it to you.
Your eyes widened with his actions. “What do you think I am, Atsumu? A fucking gold digger? I just wanted your time for pete’s sake. I just wanted my boyfriend to watch me receive my award as recognition of my two-year efforts with this job. I wanted my boyfriend to hug me as I go down from the stage, telling me how proud he was of me.” You stood up as you met his eyes. Rage covered his honey-colored orbs, but you did not back down, not this time. “You just had to attend one company event for me, Tsumu. Just do the bare minimum for me. But apparently, I am not worth any of your time.” You seethed through your teeth. “You haven't even congratulated me ever since you came home late. Even noticed the one thing I wasn’t able to do for you today, and you made it definitely feel like I made huge mistake as your partner. I am so tired from this, Tsumu. It can’t always be me who had to do things for this relationship.” You closed your fists as you brought them up to your chest, like you’re trying to protect your heart from being broken. Tears were streaming down your face, staining the puffy, red cheeks with the smudged mascara. “I just wanted you to meet me halfway, babe. Just even a quarter, just make me feel like I’m not the only one doing things for our relationship.” 
“Well, I’m sorry Y/N. I can’t be the boyfriend you want.” He snapped as he rubbed his forehead. “You know what? I don’t want to deal with this right now. Talk to me when you’re finally okay and all moved on from this drama.” He went to the counter and grabbed his keys, phone and wallet. 
You stood up from your seat and followed him. “You told me to be open with my feelings, and I have just always been honest to you. You can’t just leave during our arguments, baby. Are you just gonna leave me hanging again? Will you really leave this unresolved? This happens every time, and I am so fucking tired --” The loud slam of the door shutting you off as your eyes stared at the empty space where your boyfriend had left. 
-----
This wasn’t the first time he escaped after one of your arguments. He was always like this. You were the type to be the one who wants to solve problems quickly. But your boyfriend was completely the opposite. You sighed as you pinched the bridge of your nose, as you tried to stop crying for the nth time. 
It had always been me. It was always me.
He wasn’t like this before though. At the start of your relationship, he was always the one who initiated the make ups after arguing. He would always try to comfort you and solve through the problems together. But after a year, with your relationship going on for three years, why did it have it go like this? He no longer was the first to message you, or give the reassuring touches.
But Atsumu was still a good boyfriend. He was physically affectionate, and he always tried to make up with you through dinner dates and gifts. He would try to fetch you in front of your workplace if he has the time. He would always respect your boundaries. He would smother your face with good morning kisses, and give you the best hugs when he arrives home. He had never cheated within those three years, well, not that you know of. You trusted him with your whole heart. You were always the happiest when you were with him. You know that he loves you, and he never fails to tell you that each day.
But why do you still feel unloved? 
You always had guarded your heart whenever you feel a problem is about to be brought up. You always tried to think of other versions of how you were going to express yourself to him. You were always scared of how he would react when you would fight. You were always scared that he would never return when he leaves you in an argument.
You felt secure with him when you were both okay, and happy. You had no problems with him being a great boyfriend in those happy moments. But on the other hand, you felt the most vulnerable when you need him the most, and he wasn’t there. It was like seeking comfort and security from the man who left you defenseless in the first place. Ironic, isn’t it?
You know that he would come home once you texted or called him, and told him that you had forgiven him already - that you could forget about it and move on from the problem just as always. Everything will be okay for the mean time. This was just a cycle you had to endure from your relationship with the MSBY setter. 
But is this the relationship you would want to have for the rest of your life?
-----
12:51 PM
Atsumu returned back to the shared apartment the next day, wondering why you haven’t messaged him to come home yet. He massaged his sore shoulders as he had spent the night at his brother’s place, cramped in the small couch in his living room. He really expected a thread of your messages to welcome him in the morning, or maybe a few calls last night telling him to come home to you already, and that he was forgiven. But to his dismay, he stared at his lock screen with no notifications from the one who he wanted from the most. 
He opened the door, expecting you to run to him and welcome him with a warm hug, a cheerful smile, and on your tippy toes as you try to reach him for a kiss. But he received no greetings from you. He walked through the space and glanced around. The apartment was quiet, and a wave of panic rushed through his body. He went straight to the bed room and saw that his closet was already half-empty. Your bottles of skin care and perfume gone, and your work table decluttered. He searched through all of the rooms in the apartment hoping to see those sweet eyes again, hoping to ask for another chance to make your relationship better again.  But, there was no you - no patient and understanding you to forgive him again. 
________________________________________________________________
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baoshan-sanren · 4 years
Text
Chapter 35
of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling – you know what? I suck at titles. let’s just accept the fact that I’ll slap something vaguely poetic on this thing when it’s finished, and that it will probably have no relation to the actual fic
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34
Wei Ying rises while the sky is still dark.
The servants show no surprise, despite the fact that he had gone to sleep mere two hours before. His sleepless nights and early risings are nothing to be remarked upon. There is some bewilderment when he insists on immediately dressing for an audience, but it is well hidden. It is no ordinary audience he is dressing for, that much is immediately clear. The black dragon robe, stiff and severe, is hardly an appropriate morning outfit. It is a robe for trials and executions, and Wei Ying enhances its effect by passing over the intricate hair ornaments for the Dragon Crown, its delicate pearls reflecting the candlelight.
This causes more than one startled gaze, most exchanged behind the hard line of his back. Wei Ying knows that behind the curtain of pearls, his face is partially concealed, giving no hints to his mood, or his state of mind. Today, Nie HuaiSang will rise early as well, and begin to work on the Council, one vulnerable Sect Leader at a time. But before he can even begin, Wei Ying must do his part in bringing the Council to his heel.
The sky has only began to lighten when he finally leaves his chambers. The Jade Sword Palace is hushed, as if holding its breath. He sends two servants to summon the High Councilor to the Emperor’s public study, and admonishes that he will tolerate no delays. Two servants instead of one can be seen as an honor, but Wei Ying already knows that shocked whispers will spread like wildfire in the seemingly empty hallways. The Emperor has dressed for an execution, and demanded the High Councilor’s presence. Speculation will reach a fever pitch long before uncle Jiang manages to slip on his shoes.
Wei Ying sends another servant to the Imperial guest chambers, assuming that the Lan Sect must have risen already, regardless of how late Lan Zhan had lingered on the rooftop the night before. The servant does not carry an order, but a politely worded request, that the Second Young Master of the Lan Sect join the Emperor for noonday tea. It is unlikely that any tea will actually be served, and despite all the unpleasant tasks Wei Ying has before him, it is the meeting with Lan Zhan he frets about the most.
They had not said more than a dozen words to each other before parting. Still, Wei Ying is tentatively hopeful. He cannot help but feel that some type of understanding had been reached, despite the silence. It is possible that he is entirely wrong, and that the day will end in heartbreak and anguish. However, this is a worry for later, one he cannot allow to distract him from now.
The public study is as cold and cavernous as it had been the night before. It has never been a room where one welcomes a friend or an ally. The gilded desk sits on an elevated platform, the chair a monstrosity only slightly less elaborate than the throne in the main banquet hall. Sitting down, he keeps his posture stiff and straight, sleeves draped over the arms. The dragon carved into the back of the seat arches above him, twisting sinuously to gaze out over his right shoulder, a subtle reminder that the Emperor is power personified, his sheer existence a divine blessing on the ordinary mortals.  
Wei Ying resists the urge to wipe his sweaty palms on the robe.
The servants hurry to place a mat at the foot of the desk, and Wei Ying allows them to do so before ordering it removed. He dismisses them immediately after, knowing they will mutter and speculate amongst themselves. In less than two hours, the entire court will believe that the High Councilor’s moments on this plane of existence are numbered.
A part of Wei Ying feels pity for uncle Jiang. The man is no longer young; it is nearly time for him to retire in comfort, after having spent his life performing an invaluable service to the Empire. Another part of Wei Ying believes that uncle Jiang could use a little stress in his life, a little uncertainty, and perhaps even a little bit of fear. The man had grown comfortable in his role. Too comfortable, as Nie HuaiSang has admonished more than once in the past two years. It is time to shake up the ground underneath him, and find out how, exactly, he plans to keep his footing.
Wei Ying had declared that he will tolerate no delays, and uncle Jiang takes him at his word. He arrives not long after the servants have departed, nothing about his appearance giving away the early hour. The man is dressed as if he had spent the night standing perfectly still in his robes, simply waiting for the Emperor’s summons. But Wei Ying knows uncle Jiang well, easily recognizing the caution in the man’s posture.
A single glance tells Jiang FengMian everything he needs to know. The Emperor seated stiffly, as if facing an unpleasant task. The presence of the dragon robes and the Dragon Crown. The lack of a mat for him to kneel comfortably, and pay his respects in the usual way. A lesser man would drop to the marble floors and admit his crime, even if he did not know what crime he had committed. Uncle Jiang does not.
He lowers himself gracefully, murmuring a greeting. Wei Ying knows that the cold marble floors are hard on his knees. It is an effort, to look on cooly, to delay the necessary permission uncle Jiang needs in order to rise to his feet. Wei Ying counts to thirty, slowly, feeling sweat gather on his temples. The black dragon robe is intimidating and necessary, but it is also suffocating, the glistening layers of silk much heavier than they appear to be.
“Rise, High Councilor,” Wei Ying says, his voice hard.
Uncle Jiang gets to his feet.
He will not speak first; Wei Ying knows this. Nie HuaiSang’s court maneuverings and tactics are entirely self-taught; some have come from observation, but a great deal come from an inborn talent that Wei Ying has never had. Over the years, Wei Ying has learned much from his Companion. But this does not change the fact that majority of the lessons on ruling effectively had come from Uncle Jiang himself, and that there are very few tactics Wei Ying can employ that the man will not find transparent.
Uncle Jiang is clearly expecting some reprimand when it comes to the Lan Sect and their treatment. He is also likely to have considered the influence of Xiao XingChen’s presence, the possible reasons for his arrival, and the backlash of any events in the Empire that Wei Ying had not been aware of before, which could reasonably be considered the High Councilor’s fault and responsibility. He may even anticipate Wei Ying’s marriage plans. Wei Ying would not put it past the man to have a list of very sensible reasons why the Second Young Master of the Lan Sect would not make a proper Emperor Consort.
Wei Ying does not give him an opportunity.
“The Jin Sect has overreached one too many times,” Wei Ying says, “Jiang YanLi’s betrothal to the Young Master Jin is no longer pleasing to the Emperor. You will dissolve this arrangement today.”
It is rare to see uncle Jiang visibly reel. Wei Ying does not give him time to think.
“The High Councilor has served me well. The Empire is grateful for your perseverance and devotion. However, it is time for the High Councilor to yield his seat to a more youthful perspective. I am sure you will find that retirement has its own charms. Lotus Pier must be quite lovely this time of the year.”
Wei Ying smiles, a movement of the lips utterly disconnected from the rest of his features, all partially concealed by a curtain of shimmering pearls.
Uncle Jiang opens his mouth, then closes it, his expression no longer calm and collected, his skin color taking on an unhealthy, sallow hue.
“The Emperor has come of age, High Councilor,” Wei Ying says gently, “the Jiang Sect presence at court is no longer necessary.”
In the back of his mind, a steady mantra of do not qi deviate is repeating itself in increasingly alarmed tone, accumulating in a loud exclamation of fuck as uncle Jiang drops to his knees again.
“This subject begs to know how he has offended,” the man exclaims.
Wei Ying fights a relieved breath, and leans back in his seat.
He counts again, slower this time, watching the light of the rising sun move across the marble floors.
Finally, when he is quite certain that uncle Jiang’s knees must be starting to ache, he taps his finger on the arm of the chair.
“Rise, High Councilor. Let us speak of invitations, shall we?”
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sonic-wildfire · 3 years
Text
Emotion Sickness: Diary Entries from Shadow the Hedgehog (Part 1)
Select entries from Shadow’s diary were found and compiled by Sonic (with Shadow’s permission) as an homage to both Shadow’s development and their relationship together. The entries were made between March 2009 and October 2013. This part of the compilation contains the entries made between March 2009 and December 2010.
10:53 PM - 4 March 2009
Hmph. Another day behind me. I crossed paths with Sonic today and he offered to have lunch with me. The request was somewhat flattering, but I turned it down. I don’t really need to eat.
Why is Sonic always so nice to me? It’s a liability to be within ten feet of him at this point, considering how much trouble he gets into. Whatever. I’m better by myself anyway.
5:02 PM - 19 July 2009
Amy visited me today and said she was here on Sonic’s behalf. Don’t know why, but she wanted me to know Sonic was offering to have me over at his place.
Sonic has a permanent home? Who knew?
I thought about it for a bit, but I declined. Again, I don’t understand why Sonic continues to do nice things for me even though I’m the most miserable being on the planet. It’s not that I hate them or anything, but I just can’t get close to anybody else. What if they reject me? What if...
Forget it.
I can’t think about this stuff. I’m going to take a nap. My thoughts are the last thing I need to be with right now.
6:46 PM - 30 November 2009
Wouldn’t you know it, that stubborn blue hedgehog turned up at my door today and again asked me to spend time with him. I was about to just tell him to piss off, but something about this interaction was different. I don’t know what, why, or how, but... it actually sounded appealing this time?
Very hesitantly, I said I’d think about it but don’t expect me to take you up on the offer. He just smiled, said okay, and left. 
Maybe I should at least try to be somewhat charitable for once. I called up Rouge and told her about what had happened and she just teased me over it before hanging up. You know, typical Rouge.
But she did tell me that it was ultimately my decision to make.
Hm. I think I might go after all.
12:25 PM - 2 December 2009
Just got back from having breakfast with Sonic. He was actually surprised I showed up. Honestly? I was surprised, too.
I didn’t talk too much, but Sonic... oh boy, Sonic. It’s like he never ran out of things to talk about. He’s smiling the entire time he’s with me, too. It was almost alluring just how much his bright demeanor contrasted with my moody self.
One of the things Sonic talked about was his friends. I was fully ready to just stop him right then and there (it rubs me the wrong way when anybody mentions friendship), but then he told me I was a “good friend” to him.
I asked him if he was serious. Sonic said yes.
In retrospect, it was certainly more eventful than most days. Perhaps little meetups like this would be healthier for me if I did them every once in a while.
3:59 AM - 28 May 2010
I can’t rest. I keep thinking about Sonic.
We’ve been meeting occasionally like I said I should. The longer I’m with Sonic, the more I begin to see in him what I could’ve been.
He’s a caring, generous man with everything going for him. People like him. He has a purpose in life. He’s coolheaded, rational, and valuable to society.
So why on Earth would Sonic be spending time with me, a reprehensibly depressed alien who is so completely worthless and undeserving of care? How could he possibly like me when I don’t even like myself?
I’m tired and tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes. I need to talk to someone in the morning.
1:51 AM - 29 May 2010
I called Rouge and told her about last night. She wasn’t very vocal, but she did offer a little encouragement. She said I don’t get enough sleep and that a little bit of rest would put me at ease for a bit. But I’m still on edge. What does Sonic see in me that I don’t? Or am I just overthinking this? My thoughts are erratic right now, so I’m sorry to anyone reading if this doesn’t make sense.
Ugh.
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already.
I’m so weak. I’m so pathetic.
Who would ever want to spend time with someone like me?
All I do is brood in the corner of the room all day and be an asshole to everybody. I don’t understand how anybody could be tolerant of me, much less a “friend.”
Yet... I’m still drawn to Sonic. For whatever reason, he’s just so inviting. He’s nice. Too nice.
11:32 AM - 8 August 2010
Over the past few months, Sonic and I have been visiting each other more often, and not much has changed.
From me, at least.
Sonic has been growing even kinder towards me than before. Sometimes, he’ll give me small gifts like a scarf. Other times, he’ll ask me about myself. If I were ready, I would’ve just spilled my true feelings about myself right then and there.
But I wasn’t ready. So I just talked about the very few things I did find enjoyment in. Gardening, space, and Chao. I begged him to never tell anybody about what I said to him, and he looked at me like I had three heads but vowed to keep it a secret anyway.
I just don’t know. Sonic’s a good guy, but... I can’t bring myself to be friendly with him. If I start growing close with people, they’ll just die or leave me and I’ll be heartbroken again just like last time. I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough.
I appear tough on the outside. But the truth is, I’m always on the verge of breaking down. My mental state is so volatile and virtually uncontrollable.
Chaos damn it, just get out of my head already!
3:40 PM - 23 December 2010
The holiday season. A time for joy, reminiscing on the past, looking forward to the new year, and exchanging gifts.
For everybody else, that is.
Ever since I came here, I’ve spent every Christmas alone.
All the others have a big gathering at Sonic’s house, having a good time (allegedly). I was never interested in these and I always declined every single invitation I got from Sonic. Yet, like clockwork, he still sends me one every year. Maybe hoping that I’ll change my mind one year.
After a lot of self-reflection over the past year, though, I’m not sure how much more invitations I can reject before Sonic gives up trying.
I crumble in social situations. Interacting with anybody other than Rouge, Omega, or Sonic for more than ten seconds takes an insane amount of willpower.
Something has to give. Either I go for once or they stop trying.
12:48 AM - 24 December 2010
I’ve decided I need to go. Maybe bring one of my Chao if things go wrong. I’m not necessarily doing this because I want to go. In fact, I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t go because at least I know things can’t go wrong if I’m by myself.
But I can’t stop thinking about Sonic and his friends. It drives me crazy.
9:21 PM - 24 December 2010
Party’s tomorrow. Note to self: don’t fuck this up.
11:17 PM - 26 December 2010
How quickly things can change has always amazed me. Tonight proved that.
Everybody was really surprised to see me showing up, but they said they were all grateful I showed up. Sonic, of course, was the first to welcome me, giving me a hug that admittedly felt like a breath of fresh air after so much time alone. Then again, I have a reputation so I needed to act like he was crushing me to death.
I didn’t spend much time talking with other people, though I did exchange some small talk with Rouge. The usual.
As the party grew longer, I found myself being... complimented by others?
Knuckles said he hoped I was “doing well.” Cream gave me a single flower while wishing me a merry Christmas. Tails shyly waved at me (I put on a smile and waved back). Omega said I was “one of the only creatures made of flesh” he trusted.
I’m sorry. Did these people forget who they were talking to?
Dinner was fine, though I was particularly eager about the sweets. Oh, right, I forgot to mention I have a knack for candy. The more you know.
Of course, then it was time for gifts. I swear you could fill the Grand Canyon with the sheer amount of presents under the tree. I guessed that roughly three of those were for me, ready to be mailed to me if I didn’t show up.
So you can imagine my surprise when I saw eight presents being dropped into my lap and all of them reading “To: Shadow.”
We all took turns opening our presents. I had two presents from Amy (a coffee mug and a Chao toy), one present from Espio (a kunai), one present from Tails (a bag of coffee beans), one present from Knuckles (a Kill la Kill DVD) and... three presents from Sonic?!
The first one was classic Sonic stuff. A sweater with the word “faker” sewed on the chest. He thought that one was really funny. I didn’t really care.
The second one was more genuine. A pair of rocket boosters for my shoes. My old ones are just about dead, so this was welcome.
The third one... subverted all expectation. It was a small box that contained a piece of paper. It read:
“Dear Shadow, stay after the party and meet me upstairs when the others leave. Signed, Sonic.”
The others were curious about what Sonic meant by this. Silver joked that I was being sent to the principal’s office.
Eventually, the party came to a close and people left. I went upstairs as Sonic had told me, and there he was sitting on the edge of the bed.
He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sat down and asked him what he wanted me for, half-expecting something stupid.
“I understand you haven’t had the easiest life...”
I instantly got up to leave. No way I was sticking around to hear this again.
But Sonic grabbed my arm and yanked me back to the bed, his face now spelling genuine concern.
“...I know you mean well. Sometimes, you do things that we think are dumb but actually turn out to be smart. Other times, you just do dumb stuff. But that’s not the point. The point is, I want you to know that I’m still here for you. I can tell you’re bothered by your thoughts. But the bottom line is that I, and we, care about you. We love you, Shadow. I love you. Please don’t think you’re not worthy of being cared about. We have our ups and downs, but we always work it out eventually, right? I know your thought process works differently than mine. That does not make you any less deserving of respect. My greatest wish is that you would love yourself as much as we love you.”
I was stunned. That bastard. Quickly losing my composure, I began blubbering about how I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to someone just to lose them again. How I’m so terrified that I will just be manipulated and used by people pretending to be my “friend.”
Sonic told me that he would never go away and that he would never “use” me.
Fuck. Fuck.
Sonic embraced me and I’m embarrassed to admit that I began sobbing as I wrapped my arms around him. I swore to myself that I’d never show any kind of weakness around them.
“It’s okay to cry,” he told me. “Don’t be afraid anymore. I’m here now. I’m here.”
“And I always will be. That’s a promise.”
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