#told him about estele’s warning and everything

[navybrat817]

Resignation

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Andy Barber x Female Reader Summary: You get to know Andy a bit more and put in your notice, but your boss doesn't it take it well. Word Count: Almost 4.4k Warnings: Slow burn, getting to know each other, sugar daddy contraction, tension, flirting, slight insecurities, inner monologue, yelling (apologies to anyone named Sean), Andy Barber (he's a warning, okay?) Graphic talent and thanks: Banner - @sgt-seabass, Divider - @firefly-graphics, Header - yours truly Previous Part: Sign the Dotted Line A/N: Welcome back to my Terms and Conditions AU! Hope you lovelies enjoy. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. ❤️ Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The feeling of floating on cloud nine wasn't something you experienced much in your life. There were high points, of course, but nothing like the elation that filled you as Andy went to make a copy of the contract. It was almost dizzying to think that for the next three quarters of a year, everything was going to be okay. Better than okay.

All thanks to Andy.

Estelle shrieked as she pulled you to your feet. “You're a sugar baby! You're a sugar baby!” she sang, making you laugh as she did a little dance with it.

“I thought you said I was going to be his ‘companion’,” you teased.

She leveled you with a look. “It’s the same thing,” she said, grabbing her bag. “And since your new ‘companion’ is taking you to the diner, why don’t we celebrate tomorrow? You better give me all the details.”

You giggled again at the implication as she squeezed you in a tight hug. If you weren’t happy before, you would've been thanks to her infectious attitude. “You sure don’t need me to head down with you?”

“No, I’m good. You just enjoy the rest of the day,” she said, winking at you and pointing at Andy when he came back. “Have fun and be good to her or I’ll destroy you,” she told him as she walked by with every ounce of confidence you wished you had. “And nice meeting you!”

You half expected there to be an air of awkwardness once the two of you were left alone and were surprised not to feel it at all. It was hard to describe the atmosphere outside of that, but it was something both familiar and new. Maybe that was because Andy continued to put you at ease all while exciting you. The next chapter of your time would be unpredictable in ways that you were looking forward to encountering.

Did he feel the same way?

Andy chuckled after a moment, the sound bringing a smile back to your face as he held up the papers in his hand. “I realize this is probably a bit outdated since everything is done electronically, but I prefer it this way.”

“I don't think it’s outdated,” you assured him as he handed you the contract, his fingers brushing yours. Would you ever get used to the jolt of electricity you felt at his touch? “It’s less of a chance of it getting leaked.”

Though it was you he worried about, you still wanted to protect his reputation.

“Yes, it is,” he said, smiling to himself when you tucked the papers carefully in your folder. “Estelle is serious, isn’t she? She’ll destroy me if I hurt you?”

“Oh, yeah. She isn’t afraid of anyone,” you said as you shifted slightly on your feet. “But I wouldn't worry about her. I don't expect you to hurt me.”

He had to know that.

Andy took a step closer. “She’s a good person to have on your side,” he commented, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the soft look in his eyes. “And I have no intention of hurting you.”

You carefully considered his words with furrowed brows. “Aren't you supposed to say you promise not to hurt me?”

A sad smile touched his lips. “People make promises and usually do so for the right reasons, but they don't always lead to the desired outcome,” he replied as if he peeled back a small layer of himself that still left you with questions. “Take the weeklong silence, for example. I inadvertently hurt you by not reaching out.”

Your cheeks flamed, almost wishing you hadn't mentioned it. “But we talked about that. You didn't mean anything by it.”

“Yes, we did talk about it and I'm glad you told me how you felt. I still caused doubt in your mind though,” he said, his tone gentle and understanding without breaking eye contact. “So while I do want to promise that I’ll never hurt you, I'd rather promise that I have no intention of ever hurting you. Because I don't.”

It took a moment to recall that Andy was married once years ago. While you weren't sure why things ended, did his divorce give him a new perspective on making and keeping promises? Or was it his time as a lawyer?

Whatever the reason you had to respect him for his outlook.

“I appreciate that and I will hold you to that,” you said, falling in step beside him as you headed for the door.

He raised an eyebrow as he held it open for you to go through, allowing you to catch the scent of his cologne again as you walked past. You almost asked what brand it was just so you could get a bottle and spritz your worn in sweatshirts. “Isn't this the part where you promise you have no intention of hurting me?” He questioned.

“I don't think I have the power to hurt you,” you replied, not looking behind you as you headed toward the elevator. You were positive you didn't have that kind of influence nor did you want to hurt him. “But I promise that I have no intention to do so.”

You froze when he leaned in close, his beard ticking your ear and it took all of your inner strength not to turn your head toward him. “Never underestimate how powerful you are, honey,” he whispered, your breath rushing out of your lungs as he stepped back and gestured to the open elevator doors. “Shall we?”

“Sure,” you replied, your voice more breathy than you intended as you stepped inside. You swore you caught him smiling before he joined you.

“I gave my driver the afternoon off, so you’re stuck with me,” he said, pressing the button for the lowest level before the doors slid shut. “I hope that’s okay.”

“I think I can handle you driving,” you teased, happy that the two of you would be alone for part of the evening.

He chuckled before he went quiet again. The silence was comfortable, the soft dings as you passed each floor the only sound in the space. It gave you a moment to admire the man beside you. With his perfect posture, chin held high, and pristine suit, you tried to picture how he looked when he simply relaxed. No eyes on him. No one expecting anything from him.

Maybe he can show me that side of himself sometime soon.

“You’re staring,” he stated.

You smiled, not at all embarrassed that he caught you without looking your way. “I guess it’s because I’m still trying to figure you out.”

That and he was still one of the most handsome men you had ever seen.

But who was Andy Barber beyond his money? Your hero and your second chance at a better life, but what else? What did he do for fun? What did he want out of life, years from now?

Andy swung his head toward you as the elevator came to a stop. “I guess that makes two of us then.”

You found yourself in his car a few minutes later. The Audi still had that “new car” smell to it, the passenger seat sleek and not at all broken in. There wasn’t a spec of dust on the leather interior. Either he didn’t drive it often or he made sure to keep it in next to perfect condition.

Your mind drifted back to Andy’s earlier statement. What exactly was he trying to figure out? If he meant that he was trying to figure you out, he didn’t have to look too deeply. And if he was still trying to figure himself out, that was normal. Searching for your true self was a lifelong journey. And with your newfound sense of freedom at your fingertips, you’d be able to explore your own passions and visualize your ideal self.

But part of you figuring Andy out was getting to know him.

“Why the diner?” You asked, glancing over at him as he concentrated on the road in front of him. “I mean, why go there for coffee or food when you can go anywhere else?”

Maybe upscale places weren’t his usual style. He took you to the Courthouse and looked at ease there, but maybe the diner was an escape. Something different.

“I didn’t grow up with much, but my mom made it work as best as she could,” he admitted, a wistful note in his voice. “We never went hungry and she got creative with some meals so I wouldn’t get tired of eating the same thing. Things like fast food were considered a treat and diners were fine dining.”

You shifted in your seat as you listened, touched by the unexpected vulnerability. “I’ll bet she looked forward to those moments,” you said.

“She did and so did I,” he smiled over at you. “On the rare nights when she was able to save up and take us to a diner, she got a large breakfast or dinner meal for us to split. Best way to stretch her dollar and make sure neither of us felt hungry after.”

You almost reached over to take his hand, but you didn’t want to overstep. He was giving you a piece of himself by revealing a part of his past. That was more than you could ask for.

“I went to diners in college, too, when I was struggling to make ends meet,” he continued, stroking his beard for a moment. “I guess they kind of stuck with me because they reminded me of happier times. They also serve as a reminder to be thankful for what I have. It’s important to remember who I was then and who I am now.”

You let out a breath and closed your eyes as he turned onto the next street, wishing you could thank his mother for raising such an amazing man. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

His hand covered yours unexpectedly when your eyes opened. “Thank you for asking.”

You turned your wrist so your palm met his, your stomach flipping as he held it a little tighter. Opening up was never easy, even if Andy made it sound effortless. You felt closer to him after hearing that important piece of his history. Even the crackle of electricity felt different this time. Instead of a jolt, it was like a steady hum.

Maybe that closeness was the reason you didn’t want to let go when he parked his car in front of the diner.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You swallowed as you glanced out the window, the flashing lights from the sign of the beckoning for you to go in. “I just can't believe I'm actually going to quit,” you said, clutching your bag with your other hand. “I mean, I do believe it. I have my resignation letter here and everything.”

“Even when you had that bit of doubt that the contract wouldn't go through, you had your letter ready,” he smiled.

You toyed with the strap of your bag as you tried to hide your smile. “I guess I did.”

Preparation never hurt anyone.

“But if you’d rather hold off until tomorrow, I understand. I can even drive you back here if you want to wait,” he offered.

For a moment, you questioned if you should wait. As you bit your lip to fight your smile more and squeezed Andy’s hand, you made your decision. You signed the contract. You were more than ready.

Most of all, you deserved to start your path to a better future.

“I’m ready,” you assured him, reluctantly releasing his hand before you unbuckled your seatbelt. “Are you going in or did you want to wait here?”

“I’ll grab a coffee while I wait,” he said, stopping you as you reached for your door handle. “Allow me.”

You smiled to yourself as he went around to let you out. “Are you always a gentleman?”

“Not always,” he said without missing a beat, winking as you joined him on the sidewalk.

You licked your lips and gazed into his bright blue eyes. Could he see the want in yours? What would it take to make him lose control?

“I’m looking forward to seeing that side of you, Mr. Barber,” you smiled, brushing past him as he inhaled.

But first things first.

The bell rang as you walked inside and you paused to take it all in. Taking Andy’s earlier story to heart, you wouldn’t allow yourself to forget that this diner was part of your story. It not only led him to you, but also kept you from becoming homeless. It was a blessing.

“Hey,” Casey, one of the veteran servers, nodded to you from behind the counter before she looked over your outfit. She seemed to forget all about you as Andy as he walked in behind you. You didn't blame her. “Hi there. Sit anywhere you’d like.”

Andy put his hand on your lower back before he leaned in, your breath hitching slightly. “Good luck, honey,” he whispered, releasing you as Casey gawked in your direction. “I’ll just have a coffee, please,” he said as he took a seat at the counter.

The usual warmth Andy exuded was down a notch. Still friendly, but different. Or maybe you were just telling yourself that in order to feel special. “Is Sean here?”

“Yep. In the office,” Casey answered, pouring Andy a fresh cup of coffee. “Just got here.”

“I’ll be right back,” you told Andy, feeling his eyes on you as you headed through the employee only doors.

Sean had his head buried in some paperwork as he grumbled to himself. With a deep breath, you knocked on the open door. He didn't speak to you much outside of your shifts and hardly praised you for a job well done, but he wasn't a bad boss. You felt bad disturbing him, but it was now or never.

“Hi. May I come in?” You asked as he looked up.

“Yeah. Don't shut the door though. Lock’s broken,” he said, nodding to the chair in front of his desk. “Didn’t expect to see you today. What are you all dressed up for?”

“Oh, I had a meeting,” you answered, which wasn’t a lie. You did meet with Andy. “That’s actually what I needed to talk to you about.”

“A meeting?” He repeated with a frown. “Don’t tell me you’re quitting.”

Your stomach began to twist in knots. The last thing you wanted to do was disappoint your boss, even if he wouldn’t be that for much longer. Being a waitress also wasn’t your dream job, but it helped you when you needed it.

Now you have to help yourself.

“Yes, I am. I’m putting in my two weeks notice,” you said quietly, taking the letter out of your bag and placing it on the desk when he stared impassively. “I found another opportunity and I’m going to take it, but I’m happy to take any shifts I can over the next two weeks to help.”

Sean didn’t speak for a moment as he drummed his fingers on the desk. “Two weeks? No, that's not gonna work. We’re short as it is,” he said, shoving the paper away before he leaned back in his chair. Was he serious? “You're gonna have to make it four weeks and then we'll revisit after that to see if we need you to stay on longer.”

“No. I'm giving you two weeks,” you reiterated, your tone unwavering. You wouldn’t let Sean bully you into staying longer, even as guilt crept up since the place was short-staffed. “That's standard and I can't do more than that. I'm sorry.”

“Oh, no. I'm still in charge and you'll give me four weeks. That’s final,” he argued, waving his hand dismissively as you shrank a bit in your chair. “Unless you have anything else to add, I’ll see you next shift.”

You clasped your hands in your lap to keep from shaking. You didn't expect him to react this way. “No, that’s not final. I can't give you four weeks,” you said as calmly as possible, even as you began to feel more uncomfortable. “I would if I could, but I can't. I’m sorry.”

“Can't or won't?” Sean asked, almost making you jump as he raised his voice. “Listen here, you've been a solid employee and I'm not going to lose you in two weeks or four weeks. Do you understand? And if you don't show up you can forget about ever getting a good recommendation from me. Might as well kiss that ‘opportunity’ of yours goodbye.”

Your eyes burned as your mind flashed back to when you were told you were laid off from your previous job, the compassionate tone of your old boss the opposite of the man in front of you. The situations were different, but both made you feel so small. Especially since Sean was essentially threatening your future endeavors. You refused to cry though.

He wouldn’t witness your tears.

You cleared your throat and maintained your resolve. “Two weeks, Sean. That’s it. I said I’m willing to work as many shifts as I can over the next two weeks, but I can't do more than that. I won’t,” you firmly spoke as his eyes widened. “I really don't want to end this on a bad note, please.”

He pushed himself to his feet as he thrust a finger toward your face as if it would somehow make him appear intimidating to tower over you. It wouldn’t sway you. “Listen here, you little-”

“Is everything okay?”

Andy’s voice made both of you jump as you spun in your chair. He stood in the doorway but didn’t look your way. He trained his gaze on your boss, his normally bright eyes narrow and cold.

Your boss must’ve felt malice in that stare since he sat down immediately. “Oh. Mr. Barber,” he said. Did he know him as a regular customer or merely recognize his status? “It’s just an issue with an employee. This doesn’t concern you.”

“There is no issue,” you corrected him.

“Actually, she’s with me, so it does concern me,” Andy spoke as he took a step into the office, staring your boss down with a clenched jaw. The space no longer felt like Sean’s. It was as if Andy owned it along with everything in it. “If you want to raise your voice at someone, I’m right here. You won’t speak to her that way though. Do you understand?”

The deep timbre almost knocked the air out of your lungs, your heart pounding from Andy defending you.

Sean coughed a bit as color filled his cheeks. He should be embarrassed. “I didn’t realize she was with you. I wouldn’t have…” he trailed off.

Your blood simmered. He wouldn’t have raised his voice at you if he knew you were with Andy. Was this a taste of what things were going to be like? How people were going to treat you moving forward?

“Who she’s with shouldn’t matter. Not to mention, your customers and employees could hear you since your door was open,” Andy added, disappointment thickly laced in his voice. “You said she was a solid employee. Why would you speak to her like that?”

Sean’s eyes flickered to you as you waited for an answer. “We’ve been short-staffed and I’ve been stressing over it. That’s no excuse. I'm sorry,” he said to Andy, making your blood go from simmering to boiling. A customer, a powerful man, got the apology, but not you. “Won’t happen again.”

“Maybe remind yourself to be kind to the people who work for you before you raise your voice again. They’re the ones who keep your business running,” Andy said.

With a hang of his head, your boss sighed. “Two weeks, huh?” He asked, the wind completely out of his sails as you nodded. “Okay. Two weeks it is.”

“Thanks,” you whispered before Andy walked over and held out his hand to help you to your feet. Luckily, you didn’t tremble as you took it and gave it a small squeeze. It was nice that he was on your side.

“And one more thing?” Andy added as Sean glanced up. “I’m not the one you should apologize to.”

You held up your other hand when Sean looked your way and opened his mouth. “No. The only reason you’re going to say you’re sorry is because he’s here,” you stated, looking at Andy momentarily. He responded with an encouraging smile. “And I don’t want an empty apology. You can keep it.”

It was nice that Andy wanted an apology on your behalf, but it wouldn't feel believable.

Sean’s face fell, but he didn’t argue. Up until today, he treated you decently. The pressures of running a business were tough, but he had no reason to take it out on you. At the same time, you felt bad for him.

“But thank you, Sean. You gave me a job when I needed one and I won’t forget that,” you added gently. “I’ll see you next shift.”

“Why don't I meet you outside? I just want one more quick word with your boss,” Andy said as Sean audibly swallowed.

Uh-oh.

“Sure,” you said, the knots in your gut unraveling as you left the two of them alone.

You exhaled as you walked back into the dining area, avoiding the gazes from a few of the customers. Your hand shook as you gave Casey a small wave. At least she didn’t look upset with you.

“Quitting, huh? Lucky duck,” she smiled sadly. “You okay? He had no right speaking to you like that.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you nodded, taking another breath. You didn't like anyone raising their voice at you, but you wouldn't allow yourself to dwell on it and didn’t need her to worry. All you could do was make the transition as smooth as possible over the next two weeks. “Didn't expect that kind of reaction. Didn’t expect anyone out here to hear it.”

“Sean’s voice carries and he’s probably just pissed that he’s losing another good one while he’s stuck here,” she guessed, glancing over her shoulder before she added in a whisper, “Oh, and that guy you’re with? He looked furious when he heard him.”

“He did?” You asked, an almost goofy smile appearing on your face.

“Yeah, he did. He had fire in his eyes. Put a bill down, got to his feet, and immediately walked back there. And I wasn’t about to stop him,” she said, her smile widening as she leaned on the counter. “I’d say he’s smitten.”

Your heart skipped a beat. First Estelle, now Casey. Though the latter had no clue about the arrangement. “He’s really something, isn't he?”

“Oh, yeah,” Casey said, straightening up when the employee door swung open.

Andy’s eyes landed on you as he walked through, his eyes soft again as he held out his hand. He also looked pleased with himself. “Ready?”

“Ready,” you said, taking it as you gave Casey a nod. “I’ll see you soon. Hope the rest of your shift is okay.”

“Me, too. See ya,” she said before she went back to assisting other customers.

“You okay?” Andy asked softly as he led you outside.

“I’m fine,” you promised, not wanting him to worry either or get upset. “But what did you say to Sean?”

“Nothing for you to worry about,” he answered, shaking his head. “Listen, I’m sorry if I overstepped by intervening. I just couldn’t let him talk to you like that.”

He easily deflected your question and you decided to let him have that victory for now.

You went in for a hug but kept space for him to breathe. He wrapped his arms tightly around you before you could pull away, your body melting into his. The bustling city around you faded as you focused on the warmth of his firm body. It made you forget all about Sean’s reaction.

“I’m glad you did,” you said, stepping back with a tiny smile. It meant the world that he defended you. “I tried to hold my own.”

“You did. You could've snapped back or walked out, but you didn't. That’s commendable and powerful,” he assured you, his gaze serious. “But I don't care if it’s your boss or a stranger or your best friend, I’m not about to let someone take their frustrations out on you.”

Warmth settled in your chest. You learned something else about Andy today: He truly wouldn't tolerate anyone disrespecting you. He continued to prove that he was a man of his word.

You also experienced firsthand how things worked in his world, how people would bend toward his will. If it was a test, you wouldn’t say you failed since you stood up for yourself. It wouldn’t always be that easy. Whether someone questioned your motives or place with Andy or not, you had to learn to grow a thick skin. Not just for your own benefit, but Andy’s, too.

He needed someone strong by his side.

“Thank you, Andy.”

“And, listen, if you don’t want to work those shifts or if he gives you a hard time-”

“I’ll be fine,” you promised. You doubted Sean would make it a hostile work environment, but you could handle it if there were any issues. “But I think I’d like to go home now.”

Andy blinked and gave you a single nod. “Sure. If that’s what you want.”

Is he disappointed at the thought of me ending the day right now?

You smiled as you tugged him in the direction of his car. “I’d also like you to see my place,” you said, his eyebrows shooting up. It surprised you that you offered, too. “It isn't much, but it’s comfortable. Maybe we can order takeout?”

It wasn’t exactly the ideal way to celebrate, but he shared a piece of himself on the drive over. The least you could do was let him see your apartment. And who knew where the evening would take you?

“Only if you’ll let me pay,” he smiled.

“You're not going to let me pay for anything, are you?” You smiled back.

“Not if I can help it,” he replied, opening the car door. “Let's get you home, honey.”

We all need a man like Andy. And what's going to happen at the apartment? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Andy Barber Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[callsign-joyride]

Fortnight | J.H.S

Summary: You realize that things with Jake aren't going to work out. Content Warnings: Angst (LOTS of it) Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader Lyric: "Thought of calling you, but you won't pick up. 'Nother fortnight lost in America." A note: I've been loving TTPD so I've decided to write fanfics inspired by the album! Each fic will be based on a different track/lyric, and they will all be about different characters! Some will be smutty, others not so much.

You thought that you were happy with Jake. Really, you did. Despite the fact that both of you were out of town, you had managed to stay together for almost a year and you were already moved in. You had met each other’s families a few times, and everything seemed to be going good. That was until you started to have work trip after work trip with your promotion, and he had what felt like back-to-back deployments.You only had two months and some weekends together out of the upcoming year, as far as both of you knew. 

It was starting to get to a point where you were considering leaving and moving back home. Maybe this wasn’t a lifestyle that you were cut out for. Penny would come by the apartment a few times a week when you were both gone to dust and make sure that nothing was stolen, but it wasn’t an ideal situation at all. You finally broke down and cried three months into Jake’s deployment.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore… I did the math and we’ll barely see each other over the next year. We both travel a lot for our jobs now, but I didn’t think it would be like this,” you said, over wine with your girl friends from work.

“Aw, hun, I know exactly how you feel. Things on your end should be calming down in the next few months. I wasn’t home much in my first year, either,” Estelle said.

“But that’s the thing, I don’t know if I can make it a few more months. I feel like I’m missing out on what the other couples are doing because my boyfriend is overseas doing God knows what and I’m always on another plane.”

“You should try to give him a call when you sober up. Tell him what you want.”

You finished your glass of wine and went back up to your hotel room. Calling him late at night would be too much work, and you were too tired to even try it. So, you tried to call him in the morning when you were feeling better, like Estelle said.

“Hey, this is Hangman. Leave a message.”

You sighed and heard the tone beep before taking a deep breath and taking a moment to think of what you were going to say.

“Hey, I really need to talk to you about something. It’s important. Call me back when you get the chance.”

He have good enough service to check his voicemails and text messages until it was around dinner time for you. And of course, his phone was barely working, so all he could get from the message was that it was from you and you were upst about something. 

“Rooster, man, I need to borrow your phone! My girl called, she was upset about something.”

“Alright, but make it quick. I told my wife I’d call her as soon as I got the chance.”

“Thanks, I owe you.”

Jake sat on his bed before he dialed your number. It was so relieving to hear your voice, and you didn’t sound so upset this time.

“Hello?” You asked.

“Hey, it’s me. My phone’s being a piece of shit right now so I only heard part of your message. Is everything okay?”

You sighed and sat on the hotel bed.

“No, actually. Jake, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can make this work anymore.”

“What… What do you mean by that?”

“I love you, but I don’t know if all of the distance and us traveling all the time will work out. We’ll hardly be seeing each other at all this year, I did the math. And, you know, I thought being a Navy girlfriend would be easy, but that was before I got promoted. I know that none of this has been planned, but I’m traveling so much that I don’t know if this relationsip will work anymore.”

“Fuck, okay, well, maybe there’s something I can do, right?”

“I don’t want you to lose your job because of me, and I don’t wanna jinx it but, it seems like I’m the only reason you’d come home early, and there isn’t an emergency.”

“So, what’s next?”

“Well, I’m gonna start looking for places soon. There’s a chance I’ll be moved out by the time you get back. I’m really sorry, Jake. Truly.”

“I am, too.”

You weren’t in a rush to move out, but you did start to put non-essential things in boxes while you looked for apartments. There was a brief moment where you thought of moving back home to New Hampshire, but it wouldn’t really work out because of your job. Between traveling for work and awkwardly exchanging texts with Jake and the Dagger Squad, you were finally moved out after a month and a half. 

The last time that you saw Jake, it was when you met up to fill out paperwork to be removed from the lease. You still felt awful about everything. He’d try to call you over the next few months, but you never answered. You never read any of his texts, either.

“Hey! If you’re hearing this, I’m busy. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!” 

He quickly got used to hearing your voicemail, and eventually stopped calling.

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[warrioreowynofrohan]

LOTR Newsletter – September 17

Today’s entry covers everything from the end of Bilbo’s 111th birthday party (after he leaves), which is also Frodo’s 33rd birthday party, to many years later, when Frodo is 49 years old, in April.

So, what’s been going on (outside the Shire, in particular)?

First: Bilbo’s behaviour before leaving makes Gandalf strongly suspects that his Ring is the One Ring (before that, he had been sometims worried, but unsure). In “The Shadow of the Past,” Gandalf says to Frodo, “He [Bilbo] said and did things then that filled me with a feat that no words of Saruman could allay. I knew at last that something dark and deadly was at work.” At the Council of Elrond, Gandalf says, “Time passed with many cares, until my doubts were awakened again to sudden fear…That was seventeen years ago. Soon I became aware that spies of many sorts, even birds and beasts, were gathered round the Shire, and my fear grew. I called for the help of the Dúnedain, and their watch was doubled; and I opened my heart to Aragorn, the heir of Isildur.”

I find it quite sweet that, while Gandalf acknowledges to Frodo that Bilbo’s behaviour around the Ring on the night of the Party was startling, at the Council of Elrond he obscures the reason (‘my doubts were awakened again’) to avoid alluding to things that could be embarassing to Bilbo in front of a large group of prominent people.

Appendix B confirms that Gandalf’s conversation with Aragorn, and the doubling of the Rangers’ guard on the Shire, happened in the same year as the Party.

Bilbo travels to the Lonely Mountain for a visit, and then settles in Rivendell, as he later tells Frodo: “I got here without much adventure, and after a rest I went on with the Dwarves to Dale: my last journey. I shan’t travel again. Old Balin has gone away. Then I came back here, and here I have been.”

Gandalf and Aragorn look for Gollum over many years without succeess, and Gandalf checks in on Frodo itermittently:

For three years after the Party he [Gandalf] had been away. Then he paid Frodo a brief visit, and after taking a good look at him he went off again. During the next year or two he had turned up fairly often, coming unexpectedly after dusk, and going off without warning before sunrise. He would not discuss his own business and journeys, and seemed chiefly interested in small news about Frodo’s health and doings. Then suddenly his visits had ceased. It was [at the end of today’s reading] over nine years since Frodo had seen or heard of him.

From Gandalf only entering or leaving Bag End after dark, he evidently still fears the Shire is being watched, and does not wat to draw attention to Frodo.

About six years after the Party (about a year before the nine-year-break in Gandalf’s visits to Frodo), Aragorn’s mother Gilraen dies. She has been living among the Dúnedain in Eriador (she left Rivendell a few years after Aragorn fell for Arwen and Elrond told him that she could not marry him until/unless he becomes King of both Gondor and Arnor – in effect, until there was peace and Aragorn had played a substantial role in bringing it about; this suggests to me that things may have been at least a bit uncomfortable between Gilraen and Elrond after that). By the time of Gilraen’s death Aragorn and Arwen’s first meeting is 56 years ago, and they have already been engaged for 27 years

She [Gilraen] seldom saw her son again, for he spent many years in far countries. But on a time, when Aragorn had returned to the North, he came to her, and she said to him before he went:

“This is our last parting, Estel, my son. I am aged by care, even as one of lesser Men; and now that it draws near I cannot face the darkness of our time that gathers upon Middle-earth. I shall leave it soon.”

Aragorn tried to comfort her, saying: “Yet there may be a loght beyond the darkness; and if so, I would have you see it, and be glad.”

But she answered only with this linnod: ‘Onen i-Estel Edain, û-chebin estel anim [I gave Hope to the Dúnediain, I have kept no hope for myself]’

and Aragorn went away heavy of heart. Gilraen died before the next spring.

Over the nine years that Gandalf does not visit Frodo, he and Aragorn continue interrmeittently to search for Gollum. For many years they do not find him, and at some time in these years Gollum enters Mordor and is captured by Sauron. These years are also when even hobbits in The Shire begin to heard dark rmours of outside events.

At some point in the year 3017 (the year before the main events of The Lord of the Rings begin), Gollum is released from Mordor. “The Hunt for the Ring” in Unfinished Tales gives us some dates for the events that follow.

At some point in late 3017 or early 3018, Gandalf departs from his and Aragon’s search for Gollum on the borders of Mordor, and goes to Minas Tirth. As he tells at the Council of Elrond:

“There [on the edges of Mordor] we had rumour of him [Gollum], and we guess that he dwelt there long in the dark hills; but we never found him, and at last I despaired. And in my despair I thought of a test that might make the finding of Gollum unneeded. The ring itself might tell if it were the One.”

He remember’s some if Saurman’s lore about hidden markings on the Ring, and goes to Minas Turith and finds Isildur’s scroll about it, and about the fire-letters.

Not long after Gandalf leaves for Minas Tirith, on February 1st, 3018, Aragorn captures Gollum in the Dead Marshes. Aragorn has an unpleasant journey to Mirkwood with Gollum as captive, lasting fifty days (and covering nearly 900 miles; that’s 18 miles/day, with a hostile captive), and reaches Thranduil on March 21st. Fron Unfinished Tales:

Hoping to escape detection by any of Sauron’s spies he drove Gollum through the north end of the Emyn Muil, and crossed Anduin just above Sarn Gebir. Drifwood was often cast up there on the shoals by the east shore, and binding Gollum to a log he swam across with him, and continued his journey north by tracks as westerly as he could find, through the skirts of Fangorn, and so over Limlight, then over Nimrodel and Silverlode through the eaves of Lórien, and then on. avoiding Moria and Dimrill Dale, over Gladden until he came near the Carrock.

As Gandalf rides north, messengers from Lothlórien tell him that Aragorn has captured Gollum and is bringing him to Thranduil. Gandalf arrives in Mirkwood on March 23rd, and questions him for several days, then leaves in the morning of March 29th, travelling to the Shire as fast as he can. He reaches the Shire the evening of April 12th, right after Sam’s argument with Ted Sandyman at The Green Dragon.

(One other thing I wanted to mention that amused me: apparently in medieval writings the village miller is almost always disliked and antagonistic. Medieval farmers were reliant on the miller to grind their grain to flour, and this left the miller with ample opportunities for overcharging, or for skimming off some of the flour. The Canterbury Tales is one example of a disliked miller character. I found it entertaining that Tolkien carried over this trope in first the Gaffer Gamgee arguing with the elder Sandyman, and then Sam arguing with his son.)

[purplephantomwolf]

Savoring the Finish Line

Chapter Three

Story Synopsis: Max Verstappen falls in love with a woman who owns a bakery.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately. Also, this is not an accurate portrayal with how a bakery works. I did my best with research, but it's not 100%.

Warnings for this chapter: Badly translated French, mention of panic attack

Previous chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two

Next chapter: Chapter Four

Masterlist

December 19, 2021

     I slam my hand down onto my phone, turning the alarm off. I feel the bed jolt as Elise and Lacey jump onto it. I laugh as they nudge my face, trying to wake me up more. “I’m up, I’m up,” I mumble, sitting up. My dogs jump off the bed and run to the stairs. I climb out of bed and get ready to take them outside. Clipping on the leashes, I let Elise and Lacey lead me outside. We wander around the block, the dogs sniffing the same things they do every day. They need to make sure that nothing has changed in the past 24 hours. 

     The puppies take off upstairs once we arrive home. I follow them up the stairs, making sure they have enough food and water for the day. “Okay, girls. I need you to behave for me,” I say, giving both of them kisses on their heads. I reach the bottom of the stairs as Louis and Estelle walk through the front door. “Good morning, Estelle. Good morning, Louis,” I greet them. 

     “Good morning, Adaline. How did the rest of your night go?” Louis asks, heading for the office. 

     “Really interesting!” I laugh. Louis and Estelle stop to look at me, both of them raising their eyebrows. “I forgot to lock the door after you guys left, and I had an unexpected visitor,” I start to explain. 

     Louis interrupts me before I can tell them who the visitor was. “That’s dangerous! You can’t forget to lock the doors!” He scolds me. 

     “I know, I know! But this was a good visitor! It was Max Verstappen!” I respond. Louis’ mouth drops open. Estelle looks between us. 

     “Max Verstappen? Isn’t he that Formula 1 driver?” Estelle asks, looking confused.

     “Yeah, he’s the one who won the world championship this year,” Louis turns to her. He turns back to me, looking sceptical, “Are you sure it was Max Verstappen? You weren’t in some fever dream?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. I put my hands on my hips.

     “Yes, I’m sure. Considering he spent at least 30 minutes here, I don’t think I was hallucinating or having a fever dream,” I smile. “Now come on, we’re opening soon!” I wave my hands, shooing them into the office to put their stuff up. 

     “Too bad it wasn’t Charles,” Louis calls, as I’m about to enter the kitchen. Louis and I have a playful rivalry going on as he’s an avid Charles fan. I laugh, shaking my head. I enter the kitchen, getting everything in the bakery ready for the day. 

     I hear the door’s bell ring right at 6 am, as I’m putting some croissants in the oven. “Adaline, there’s someone here who would like to see you,” I hear Louis call. My eyebrows knit in confusion. I wipe my hands on my apron as I walk out of the kitchen. 

     “Oh, bonjour Max!” I greet him. I walk up the counter. I feel both Estelle’s and Louis’ presence behind me. 

     “Bonjour, Adaline,” Max smiles at me, before looking at the menu. As he looks at it, I turn to Louis, mouthing I told you so. He just shrugs, before I turn back to Max. “What would you recommend? My trainer told me to pick something up for us for after working out,” Max asks, looking from the display to me. 

     I hum, thinking. “Well, I assume you’re going to want something light. I’d go with either some scones or croissants.” Max nods, looking at our options of scones and croissants. 

     “Can I take two of your blueberry scones and two of your regular croissants?” He asks.

     “Of course,” I say, grabbing a bag. As Louis rings up Max, I grab his pastries. “Have a good day, Max,” I smile. 

     “You too, Adaline,” he says, waving bye. I wave back as he leaves. I whirl around, looking at Louis.      “I told you!” I laugh. Louis holds his hands up. 

     “Alright! Alright! I believe you now!” Louis laughs. I laugh as I walk back into the kitchen to continue baking.

************************************************************************

December 28, 2021

     I look up from placing some pastries on the display as the bell on the door rings. “Good afternoon, Max. Did you have a good Christmas?” I grin. 

     “I did! I spent it with my family back in the Netherlands. Did you have a good one?” Max smiles. I nod, finishing up the display.

     “I did. I spent it with Louis and Estelle,” I say, “Now, what can I get you?” Max takes a look at the display and then the menu.

     “I’ll try one of your cupcakes and a pain du chocolat,” he answers.

     “Good choices, good choices. These cupcakes are my guilty pleasure,” I say, grabbing a cupcake and pain du chocolat. I place them in our to go box and ring up Max. 

     “Where are Estelle and Louis?” Max asks, looking around and taking the box from me. 

     “I give them the days off between Christmas and New Years. The bakery never gets so busy that I need to have them working at all, but I like the company. Plus they’re basically like my parents,” I shrug. Max walks to one of our tables and sits down. 

     “Okay. Tell them hi for me next time you see them,” Max says. He shifts in his seat a couple of times. He opens his mouth to say something else but then closes it.

     “Everything okay, Max?” I ask, concerned. I sit down across from him, waiting to see if he’ll tell me. 

     “I wanted to thank you for helping me through the panic attack the other week. I’ve never had one before, so I didn’t know what to do,” Max explains.

     “Max, you don’t have to thank me for helping you. I know how tough they are to go through alone. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience that,” I softly smile.

    “Okay, but I still wanted to thank you, so I thought I’d give you this as a thank you,” he says, sliding me an envelope. I look at him confused, picking up the envelope. I open it and gasp. Inside is a paddock pass to the Red Bull garage. 

     “Max! I can’t take this! You didn’t have to get me anything as a thank you!” I exclaim, pushing it back towards him. 

     “I wanted to,” he says, pushing it back to me. “It’s a pass to the Red Bull garage during the Bahrain Grand Prix. It should get you in on all three days.” I take the pass and inspect it. 

     “Thank you, Max,” I say, looking up. He just smiles and takes a bite of his cupcake. The bell rings as someone enters. “Thank you again, Max.” I stand up and walk behind the counter. “Hello, welcome to Delicieux Gateries!” I greet the customer. As I take their order, Max waves bye. I wave back, before continuing with the customer. 

************************************************************************

January 17, 2022

     “Welcome back, Max,” I grin, as he walks through the door. 

     “Thank you, Adaline. How is your day going?” Max explains, smiling. 

     “It’s been quite alright. Louis and Estelle left for vacation earlier today, so it’ll be just me for the next week. How has training been going?” I ask, taking up my place at the register. 

     “It’s been going well. We have a pre-season track session in Spain here in a month, so training has gotten tougher,” he answers, “I’ve tried your cupcakes, pain du chocolat, blueberry scones, and croissants. What would you recommend next?”

     “Well, we have the choux a la creme or the kouign-amann. I just made fresh batches of both of those,” I think aloud. 

     “I’ll try one of both of those then!” Max exclaims. I nod and get to work packing them up for him. As I pack them up, he asks me about Bahrain. “So, do you have a hotel for Bahrain yet?”

     “I do! I fly in on the Tuesday before the race and then leave on the following Monday. I wanted a few days to explore the city before the race,” I answer. I finish with Max’s order as he nods. 

     “I fly in on the seventh because we have pre-season testing the weekend before. Hopefully, I’ll get to see you before it all gets hectic for the race,” Max tells me. 

     “I hope so, too. If not, I’ll be cheering for you from your garage,” I grin. 

     “You’re right. Well, I’ll see you in Bahrain. Have a good day, Adaline,” Max says, heading for the door. 

     “See you in Bahrain, Max. Have a good day,” I wave bye.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @milaeth

[melswifeasf]

Find my way back to you pt 5

previous chapter || next chapter || series page

Pairing: Samantha Carpenter x Fem!OC

Summary: Estelles past is darker than anyone truly knew. except for one person; Sam Carpenter.

Warnings: angst, description of physical and emotional abuse.

notes: do you guys have anything you’d like to see in this series?

(word count: 6829)

eight years ago

football friday’s were always the best of the fall. everyone including Elias went to watch it. although Elias only went because his sister did and it would be the time in which he sold the most. the first friday into November was no different, Estelle was in a tight black shirt and blue jeans with her hair down as she stood in the parking lot with her girlfriend.

they were arguing. again. it was stupid really, Estelle had been talking with one of Elias clients, the guy had asked for her number but she kindly rejected him. he took it well, smiled and apologized before he walked away. no harm done.

and yet Valerie wasn’t having it and she wasn’t listening to reason. after the whole thing at the party, Valerie had been up her ass about everyone she even looked in the direction of.

“he just asked for my number and i said no!” Estelle repeated for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour.

Valerie scoffed, “i don’t give a fuck!” she yelled, “you’re always slutting yourself out to the first person you see!”

Estelle felt a twinge of pain in her chest at her words but she covered any trace of that as she tightened her jaw, “fuck you. i’ve been nothing but loyal to you! i told Sam to fuck off after that night and she has! what more do you want?!” the girl said desperately as she threw her hands up.

Valerie took a step closer until she was up in her face, “i want you to close your legs for one god damn minute and treat me like i deserve! you’re fucking pathetic” she said lowly, emphasizing each word with a slight pause.

Estelle’s eyes began to water, no longer able to hold back her pain, “i’ve been nothing but good to you, every time you call i’m there, when you need someone to vent to, i’m there. when you’re horny in the middle of the night and want me to warm your bed, im there so don’t you dare say that i’m not because you know that i am!” Estelle responded her voice growing in volume the more she spoke.

the taller girl shook her head, “the only thing you’re worth is a good fuck. if it weren’t for that i would’ve left your sorry ass a long time ago. don’t you think i get tired of having to be around someone as damaged as you? always crying about how your daddy left? it’s fucking exhausting being around you!” Valerie yelled, the veins on her neck popping out as she threw her hands up angrily.

Estelle chocked back a sob. “fuck you. i’m tired of you too, tired of your constant jealousy, of your shitty self esteem issues and how everything is always about you! i’m tired of you too!” a loud slap echoed throughout the parking lot as Estelle’s hand immediately cupped her face.

she was shocked, her eyes wide as the warm burning sensation was starting to build, both of her hands were shaky and she knew there would be a bruise left by how hard it hit and the ring Estelle knee Valerie always wore on her middle finger.

she didn’t get a chance to say or do anything as her wrists were being gripped tightly in a pair of strong hands, the marks that had already been left behind making it more painful.

Valerie had never been one to refrain herself from yelling, screaming, punching anything near her or simply gripping Estelle’s body tightly in order to show who’s in charge but she had never smacked her. ever.

this was the last straw and Estelle wouldn’t be forgiving her for this one.

“don’t you ever talk to me like that!” Valerie yelled an angry color overtaking her face.

Estelle couldn’t hold back her cries as she winced in pain. before either of them could say anything else a loud voice got both of their attention making them both turn toward it.

“hey! hey!” they heard a familiar voice approach them, “get your fucking hands off of her!” Sam said as she shoved Valerie off of the shorter girl.

Estelle wiped away her tears quickly and began to fix her hair so it was covering the mark that had surely already began to form.

Valerie scoffed, “of course you’re here”

Sam stood extremely close to her, one hand reaching behind her to hold Estelle back. she was standing straight, her lip twitching in anger as she starred the girl down. the two girls were practically the same height but Sam was making it so she looked taller and more intimidating.

“you better walk away before i call the cops” Sam threatened.

Valerie chuckled, “and say what? that you saw me and my girlfriend arguing? seriously, Sam. no one would give a fuck” she said amused.

“i think they’ll be interested in the bruise you gave her? or maybe i should get Elias instead?”

the smirk that was once on Valerie’s lips quickly faded at her words. the color on her face draining in an instant, her posture softening with it. she glanced back at Estelle seeing her desperately wiping away her tears as her body shook.

“whatever” she rolled her eyes and walked up to her car. she opened the door, got inside and slammed it behind her. the engine roared to life and the car screeched against the road as it drove away.

a sigh of relief escaped Sams lips once they were alone. she turned toward Estelle immediately, her hand gently touching Estelle’s arm as she held her hand against her cheek.

“are you okay?” Sam asked softly as she took a step closer.

Estelle shook her head, “i’m fine” she answered curtly. “i need to go” she said and moved her hand away from Sam’s touch.

the Carpenter girl frowned at that, “Estelle..”

“no” Estelle shook her head, “please just leave me alone, Sam.” she said and quickly walked away.

“fuck” Sam muttered as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration

Estelle had tears in her eyes as she walked to her car. she didn’t mean to be such a bitch to Sam but she couldn’t deal with it all. she had enough with her now ex girlfriend and had to find a way to hide the mark she had left from Elias otherwise he’d kill her. literally.

present

the young cop approached her ex and her new boyfriend, she had on her bomber jacket with the word ‘deputy’ on the back. she had recently talked to the cop on duty to watch Tara’s room, by now the girl was on an empty floor so they could keep better track of her. initially she wanted to be the one in charge of the room or to at least help but she had another plan.

she had seen enough stab movies to know exactly what they needed to survive this. reinforcements. Gale Weathers was out of the picture just like Sidney Prescott so she only had one person left.

as soon as her steps could be heard Sam looked away from her boyfriend and at her ex girlfriend, slightly confused. she quickly wiped at her tears. “Estelle? what’s going on? is Tara okay?” she quickly asked glancing behind Estelle to see if she had brought anyone else with her to clue her in on why she was there.

she knew Estelle like the back of her hand, even if the Estelle in front of her now was slightly different then the back talking, law breaker she had met eight years ago, she could still see the old her in a sense. her eyebrow still twitched in anger, she was still fidgety as ever, she still walked as if she owned the place and she was still as beautiful as ever.

Estelle shook her head, “everything’s fine. i was thinking and i have a plan” she said, immediately getting both of their attention.

“what is it?” Sam asked quickly.

the short girl glanced at the boyfriend, she really wanted to tell him he wasn’t a part of this but Sam could say the same about her.

“do you know Dewey?” she asked not sparing the boy another glance to make it clear her words were only directed at Sam.

“the cop from the stab movies?” Richie asked. Estelle still didn’t look at him, ignoring his idiotic question. why was he even here? it’s not like he knew Tara and she knew Sam and him had only been dating for a couple of months so it didn’t click on why he would be willing to stay in danger just to keep Sam company. he had no part in this.

“yeah” Sam nodded, “do you think he’d help?”

Estelle sighed as she shrugged softly, “i used to work with him but he got laid off a couple of months ago. he was a nice guy but i’m not sure how willing he’ll be to be a part of this all over again. but there’s only one way to find out” she said slightly hopeful.

Sam nodded in understanding, “we’ll take my car” she said holding up her keys earning an amused chuckle from Estelle.

“absolutely not. i’m the law here, we’re taking the patrol car. let’s go” she said leaving no room for argument as she began walking toward the elevator.

Richie glanced at his girlfriend with a look of dread, he did not want Estelle to be a part of it but Sam ignored him as she began to follow her ex.

the ride down the elevator was awkward. Richie had his arm wrapped around Sam as he stared at Estelle who was too busy looking at the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. she had a faint smirk on her lips, she knew what he was trying to do but it wasn’t working. in all the time she’s seen the couple Sam hadn’t touched him once, not even to hold his hand or at least she tried to not do it in front of her. when they were together Sam couldn’t keep her hands to herself for even a second. maybe things were different, they were older and the situation they were in isn’t exactly easy but Estelle knew Sam and she was the most possessive person she’d ever known. she always liked that about her.

the elevator doors dinged open revealing a slightly crowded waiting room, she didn’t talk as she reached for her glasses and put them on. it was sunny and warm out, the complete opposite of what it felt like inside the hospital. she hadn’t seen the sun since the day before, the only time she went home was to take a quick shower and that was in the middle of the night where the hospital was less busy so the guard protecting Tara could keep a closer eye on her.

once they walked outside she led them to the patrol car and got inside. Sam followed into the passenger seat whilst Richie got in the back.

“wow. i’m in the back of a cop car” Richie said with a slight chuckle earning an eye roll from Estelle as she chewed her gum louder.

“seatbelts” she said simply as she put her own belt on and put the car in drive.

Estelle didn’t have the radio playing, she was listening to the dispatch to make sure there weren’t any other attacks. the air was uncomfortable and all of them could feel it. even Richie who tried to make conversation but Estelle completely ignored him.

it was Sam who got a word out of Estelle. like always.

“Tara said you were the first one at the house when she was attacked” Sam said glancing at the young girl. “you had a security system in place? i didn’t know you guys were close”

Estelle chuckled, she wasn’t accusing her but it almost felt like she was.

“yeah well, when Elias died she was the only one there for me” she shrugged. that wasn’t completely true, Alex and Xavier had been present for the funeral and even helped her financially for a couple of months but it was different. they were Elias friends, not hers and even though they always took on the older protective brother role just like Elias, they held that sentiment for her because of him. things just weren’t the same when he died and they all slowly lost contact once she decided to be part of the police force.

Sam cleared her throat timidly, “i’m sorry Estelle. i meant to call but-”

the girl held her hand up, “don’t. it’s fine. i get it” i wasn’t important enough, that’s what she wanted to say but she refrained herself from doing so. getting mad at Sam now was useless, she can’t get mad at someone for not loving her as much as she did, for not caring enough. how could she?

Sam didn’t have anything to say either, nothing that could make up for the pain she caused and nothing that could bring him back so she didn’t. it would be useless to do so.

“there was an incident a year ago, someone tried breaking in so i was the one who had the security system in place. i’m the emergency contact” she continued still trying to explain why she was the first person Tara contacted. Sam deserved some kind of explanation, Tara was her sister after all.

“oh” Sam said softly as she glanced at Estelle. “thanks for.. taking care of her” she continued with a slight nod.

Estelle shrugged, “she’s my family, it’s what i do”

if only Estelle knew the weight those words carried in Sams heart.

eight years ago

quiet. complete and utter silence. for two weeks it had been radio silent in the Garcias home. the young girl was wrapped in a blanket in her room, the curtains in her room shut with only a peak of sunlight shining inside.

she hadn’t been two school in that amount of time, barely had a proper meal. she’d already eaten all the fast microwavable meals so she stuck with snacks like granola bars or cereal. it’s not like she had much of an appetite anyway.

she felt empty, nothing but the complete and utter darkness consuming her whole. she was alone. Elias had been arrested two weeks ago which like the domino affect, caused more things to follow. she could feel the pain of that affect still linger on her face and body. she still had a black eye, her lip was cut and there was a huge bruise on her cheek. she hadn’t been able to look at herself in the mirror in a week, every time she did she’d end up crying for hours on end. but she didn’t have to look in the mirror to know she still had a huge bruise on her ribs, it was a dark purple the last time she saw it and it hurt as much as the first day.

Sam hadn’t talked to Estelle since the day she stopped the fight between her and Valerie. she expected that much but what did surprise her was the fact that she had disappeared a week later. no one had heard from her. she knew Elias went to jail after being caught with drugs but she knew he’d never let Estelle go down for it. she had no idea where Estelle was and it was nerve wracking.

so she did the only thing she could think of. she went to school like usual to see if she’d show up Monday but she didn’t so Sam got into her car and drove to her home. she’d been there multiple times whether it was for one of Elias parties or to buy drugs.

Sam had knocked on the door but there was no answer. even rang the doorbell a couple times but there was still no answer. both Estelle and Elias car were parked in the driveway so she knew Estelle had to be home. the tall girl sighed impatiently as she stepped away from the front door and walked to the huge window. it was covered so there was no way for her to see inside and she’s sure one of the neighbors are gonna call the cops considering she looked like she was about to break into the home.

so she went around the back expecting to maybe find the back door open but it was locked. fuck.

Sam defeatedly began to walk back to her car, there was no way inside and Estelle wasn’t answering the door. it’s not like she had her number to text or call her. as she was walking she realized that Estelle’s room was on that side of the house, she had seen her curtains open and her inside the room the last time she went to pick up her usual stuff from Elias. she stopped where she was and glanced up at the window, it was closed and the curtains were closed. there was a tree right beside it, she could possibly climb it but there was no guarantee Estelle would let her in.

the girl wiped her hands off on her pants and began to climb. it was hard to get a grip at first, it’s not like she had any experience climbing trees and her foot kept slipping. eventually she was on the closest branch, she held onto it with one hand and reached for the window with the other. her hand closed into a fist and she knocked. no response. she knocked one, twice and finally at the third knock the curtains were pulled apart roughly to reveal an irritated Estelle.

Sams lips let out a small gasp at the sight of her beaten down state. Estelle’s eye was swollen to the point in which it was slightly closed, it was purple and bruised as well as her cheek. she could see Estelle holding her stomach with one hand making her question if she was injured there too. what the hell happened?

the window abruptly opened and Estelle spoke with an annoyed voice, “what do you want?”

Sams mouth opened and closed for a second, she was speechless. what could she say? she knew if she asked what happened Estelle wouldn’t tell her. she’d learned her lesson the time they talked in the bathroom. but she needed to know, god, she had to. what if she needed help? what if Estelle was in danger? had Valerie done it?

“i-i.. you haven’t been at school. i came to check in on you” Sam finally said. she couldn’t bring up the bruises. not yet.

Estelle rolled her eyes. “im fine. you can go now” she said and stepped away from the window. the young girl expected Sam to take the hint and leave but instead the older girl climbed through it and stepped into the bedroom.

“im serious, Estelle. i’m worried about you.. i mean- look at you” Sam finally said not able to bite her tongue about this. maybe the decision to not ask about the bruises lasted two seconds but she couldn’t stop herself.

Estelle scoffed, “it’s none of your business. please get the fuck out of my house” she continued and pointed at the window. Sam didn’t take her eyes off of her though and Estelle was beginning to grow self conscious. no one had ever seen her like this, it’s why she didn’t go to school and she didn’t want Sam to be the first person to ever witness the fucked up life she had. she wasn’t quite sure why even cared, Sam and her had only kissed once drunkenly and her opinion shouldn’t mean anything to her but it did. she wished it didn’t, wished she could not care that the girl in front of her was seeing her in her most vulnerable state.

the older Carpenter girl finally moved from her spot and walked toward the window. Estelle expected her to leave and to finally be alone again but instead Sam closed it and the curtains in the process.

Estelle sighed heavily, “what are you doing?” she sounded as exhausted as she felt and Sam just wanted to pull her into a tight hug and not let go. Estelle would never let that happen though.

“im staying” Sam shrugged as if it were the most simple answer ever. “you can kick me out if you want but i’m staying” she said firmly and Estelle knew that there was truly no room for discussion.

“whatever” she shook her head and climbed back into bed.

-

Tuesday

Estelle had slept through most of the day. it was dark out now and when she reached for her phone she saw it was seven. the girl slowly threw the covers off of her and got out of bed. she needed to take some pain killers, the bruise on her stomach was only growing in pain and she couldn’t deal anymore. she had been taking Tylenol and ibuprofen but neither worked, she’d still feel the pulsing in her face and stomach region. she was so tired of the pain. so instead of reaching for the pill bottles beside her bed she went into her brothers room. she knew where he stored his drugs, in the safe stuffed inside closet. the combination was her birthday. she always thought that was sweet.

the girl grabbed the weed stored in a ziplock bag as well as the rolling paper. she didn’t have much of any experience with it but she wasn’t going to take hard drugs which was the only thing Elias had so weed would have to do.

she didn’t bother walking out of the room to smoke it, she didn’t need the smell lingering anywhere else in the house and Elias room always reeked of weed anyway. she opened the window like she’d seen her brother do countless times before and lit up the small joint. ten minutes later (which she mostly spent coughing) the small bud was too small so she put it out on the ashtray sitting on the outside part of the window.

her throat felt as dry as her eyes, this was why she never smoked. her hands were tingling and the pain was long forgotten, it was instead replaced by dizziness. she wasn’t super high but enough to feel her heart racing in her chest faster than usual. she’d regret this later - possibly but at least she wasn’t in pain anymore.

the girl held onto her stomach with her left hand and held onto the railing with the other as she walked down the steps.

she’d spent all day sleeping she had almost forgotten Sam had told her she’d be staying the day before. truthfully she fully expected Sam to be gone by now but instead of being met with an empty house she saw Sam in the kitchen making what looked to be spaghetti.

had she gone shopping? there was nothing in the fridge or cabinets to make food, especially not considering Elias was the one who did the grocery shopping and he was arrested before he could go on his weekly errand. all of the frozen food that was there was stored just in case they were low on money, Elias hated when his sister ate it. he always said she needed real food.

“what are you still doing here?” Estelle asked with a slight rasp to her voice. she ignored Sam as she prepared a plate near the stove and went to the fridge for a bottle of water.

“i told you i was staying,” Sam shrugged as if it were the most obvious this - which it was but Estelle never thought she’d be serious about it. “and you haven’t eaten all day so sit” she said and pointed at the dining room table.

Estelle glanced at it for a split second and then at the plate that was already resting on the kitchen island. without a second thought she grabbed the plate and began walking to her room.

she wouldn’t be keeping someone company when she didn’t even want them in her house.

-

Wednesday

much like Tuesday Estelle spent most of the day sleeping. she had gone back to her brothers to smoke another joint. this wasn’t like her, she’d never dug into his stash before, it didn’t matter how bad her beatings were but this was the worst it’d ever been. she’d usually be healed in a week tops two but she knew this wouldn’t be going away for another two weeks meaning she wouldn’t be attending school for almost a month. the only way she’d show her face would be if the bruises on her face faded to the point in which she could cover them with makeup. it didn’t really matter if the bruise on her stomach went away by then, she’d endure that pain like she always would.

it was just too painful this time around. tylenol wouldn’t cure the pain and she needed something stronger. even if she hated weed, even if she hated what it had to done to her brother and the people around her. she was a hypocrite but she couldn’t find a single part of her that cared. she deserved this, after everything she’d been through she deserved this.

once she felt high enough she locked the drugs away - except for a small bag that was still in her hand and went downstairs where she was sure Sam still was. she hadn’t heard the front door open all day and she had heard the television playing some comedy movie from her room. it was ridiculous that she was still there. seriously, Estelle couldn’t understand what she wanted.

like expected the girl was sitting on the couch intently watching the movie playing on the screen. there was just something different this time around, she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as before and there was a duffle bag sitting on the floor beside the fireplace.

“why are you here?” Estelle spoke abruptly causing Sam to flinch and whip her head around to face the smaller girl. she was slightly shocked at first but recovered almost instantly.

“i told you already, im not leaving you alone like this” she answered earning an eye roll from Estelle.

“seriously Sam. what the fuck do you want? drugs? fine. here” she said throwing a bag of weed to the girl along with oxy. Sam was obviously confused as she looked down at the bag that landed beside her. “you don’t even have to pay me. it’s all covered just please leave me the fuck alone” Estelle said pissed off by now. who did she think she was coming to her house and staying like they knew each other? like they were friends?

Sam didn’t move a muscle toward the bag as she looked back at the girl, “i don’t want drugs, Estelle. i just don’t think you should be alone right now” she said calmly.

Estelle scoffed, “what the fuck do you even know about it? you know nothing about me. you think we kiss once while i’m wasted and i’m in love with you? please, Sam. you’re just a fucking junkie and i’d never get with someone like you” she fired at the girl angrily.

Estelle knew she had hurt Sam by the look on her face, she regretted it as soon as she said it. the pained look in Sams eyes was enough for Estelle’s chest to tighten in pain. “maybe you’re right” Sam said. “maybe i’m a junkies who isn’t to your standards but i can’t just leave you like this Estelle. you are in obvious pain, you can’t stand without holding onto something and don’t even get me started on your eye!” she exclaimed and began to stand.

Estelle rolled her eyes again, “you don’t know shit about this Samantha. this isn’t any of your business so just leave me the fuck alone” she yelled at the taller girl. she didn’t bother listening to Sam stubbornly tell her she wasn’t going anywhere as she turned around and walked back up to her room, slamming the door behind her in the process.

-

Thursday

there’s a certain point in which a human can go without breaking down. that point for Estelle was ten days after the incident took place. she’d cried before, sure, but not like this. not with sobs racking her body like an avalanche, not with tears rushing down her face with no sign of ever stopping, not with her chest tightening and her lungs rapidly running out of oxygen. she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see and all she could feel was herself slowly drowning in her pain.

it wasn’t just the pain physically, it was emotional and she couldn’t deal with it anymore. she was so fucking damaged and she had no idea how she would ever feel like a normal person again. she had internal and external scars that she knew would never ever go away. it didn’t matter how much alcohol she took, how much weed she smoked, how many times she tried to disguise that pain with it of her girlfriends emotional abuse. she’d always just be this.

the other teen in the house could hear the loud crying from the living room. it was dark outside by now and she had been hearing her cries for the part hour. when the day started she thought it would progress like it had the last couple of days but Estelle never opened her door and went to her brothers room to get high, she didn’t go downstairs to grab a plate of food or lash out on her again.

she simply didn’t leave her room.

Sam had made dinner for them both and she wanted to apologize to Estelle and let her know that if she really wanted her to leave, she would. she understood it was weird to be in her house, they barely knew each other but she’d known all about Estelle’s father leaving and her mother dying. she knew Elias was the only person Estelle had and now he was in jail. she couldn’t leave her alone. not when she was in so much pain.

Estelle heard a soft knock on her door causing her to quickly pull the blanket up to her lips to try and cover up her crying.

Sams voice was gentle and it hurt Estelle even more how sensitive she was being toward her, “i made some soup” she said. “you don’t have to come out, i can bring it up for you. but..” Estelle heard the girl trail off and even though she couldn’t see her, she could almost see Sam biting her bottom lip with her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about what to say next. “if you want.. maybe we can watch a movie. i don’t know but whatever you need just let me know”

Estelle didn’t come down to grab food or watch the movie Sam offered that day.

-

Friday

hot water ran down Estelle’s nude body. at first it made her wince whenever it would hit her stomach region or when it landed anywhere on her face but it all slowly numbed.

she hadn’t showered since Monday, the pain was too much. it felt good, refreshing even, to finally wipe away the dried blood along with the dried tears from all the crying she had done the night before.

the girl soon turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. her mirror was slightly foggy but she could still make herself out. her eyes was only slightly better, it wasn’t that swollen but she still couldn’t open it all the way. the color hadn’t changed and the bruise on her cheek was only healing in pain. maybe that was because of the drugs though. she didn’t bother looking at her stomach, both the pain and the bruise hadn’t changed at all.

she threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of her brothers hoodies before stepping out of the bathroom. her hair was wet and water droplets were hitting the floor along with her hoodie.

she took a deep breath and then opened her bedroom door. it was time to stop being a bitch. time to grow up and realize she had someone in her house that was going through all this effort just to make sure she wasn’t alone.

as soon as she stepped down from the last step she saw Sam on the couch and scrolling through her phone. she didn’t seem to notice Estelle’s presence and the shorter girl wasn’t going to any efforts to alert her.

the younger girl walked to the kitchen and grabbed a clean plate, the noise finally grabbing Sams attention. she locked her phone and placed it on the table beside her as she turned her body to look at Estelle. none of them spoke.

Estelle quietly grabbed some food and put it in the microwave. two minutes later she was walking toward Sam with a bowl of food in one hand along with a bottle of water in the other. she was severely dehydrated at this point.

the girl silently sat down on the furthest end of the couch whilst Sam was still sat on the other. Estelle placed her bottle of water on the coffee table and got comfortable where she was. Sam tried not to look at her as she watched the television. the shorter girl took a bite out of the food and her eyes widened, it was amazing. she wasn’t sure if that was the hunger talking but either way was visibly pleased.

Estelle realized Sam wasn’t going to any efforts to talk which made her sigh. “im sorry” she finally said.

Sam glanced at her with a neutral expression. damn, Estelle couldn’t help but think she had been a bigger dick than she realized. that was a stupid thought considering she’d literally called her a junkie.

“i was really fucked up and i didn’t mean any of the stuff i said” she continued hoping Sam would say something - anything.

her hopes weren’t let down as Sam finally turned to look at her, “it’s fine. you were just saying shit. i know how it goes” she shrugged. Sam was playing it down and Estelle didn’t feel like she deserved that.

“it’s not okay, though. you’re not a junkie and frankly what you do isn’t any of my business. and if we’re being honest it’s me who doesn’t deserve you, not the other way around” Estelle admitted with a soft chuckle.

Sam didn’t say anything but Estelle could see a faint smile appear on her lips and that was enough for her to know she had accepted her apology. but Estelle knew that wasn’t enough, she needed to tell someone. even if it was someone she’d barely known, even if it was one of her brothers clients. she just couldn’t keep this to herself anymore and Sam had done nothing but tried to be there for her these last couple of days.

the young girl placed her bowl on the table in front of her before leaning back on the couch. what she would be saying wasn’t something that could be taken lightly, it was heavy shit and she just really hoped it wouldn’t scare Sam away. “i was ten years old when my mom died” Sam didn’t move a muscle or say anything but Estelle knew she was listening. “my dad had always been an abusive asshole but one day he was really drunk and his fists were hitting a lot harder until suddenly she just stopped breathing” tears were already forming in Estelle’s eyes and she felt pathetic for it. “but he’s a lawyer so he got his most important contacts to rule it an accident and he got left off the hook easily. no one really knew what happened, it was a closed casket funeral and everyone loved him so no one ever thought he’d be capable of such a thing” she chuckled dryly.

Sam felt tears forming in her own eyes at Estelle’s words. she knew what it was like losing a parent but she couldn’t begin to imagine what Estelle went through. sure, her father left but she knew he was still alive, somewhere out there but still alive. Estelle didn’t have that privilege.

“after she died i was his next punching bag. he wasn’t home much considering he couldn’t live with his own guilt but on the rare occasion he did come home, he’d be drunk and angry and he always said i looked like her so he’d come into my room at night and..” she trailed off as her voice broke and Sam didn’t need her to finish her sentence to know what she meant. the hand that was resting on Sams lap made its way toward Estelle. the girl was staring at her lap so she didn’t notice Sam was reaching for her hand until she was holding it.

the shorter girl looked up at Sam with teary eyes and Sam shot her a comforting smile. and it did just that.

“it didn’t last long, once Elias turned sixteen he started to realize what he was doing and one night while… it was happening he came into the room and fought back. my dad always was afraid of him so he when Elias threatened to tell everyone how my mom actually died, he left town and left us alone” Estelle said and wiped at her tears. “but he was angry he had to move away so he stopped giving us money which led to Elias selling drugs.”

Sam squeezed the girls hand to show she was still listening. “we knew if we called CPS he’d just win them over and move back in so we didn’t bother. things were fine up until the first time Elias got arrested. my dad knew he wasn’t home so he came back and..” she couldn’t finish her sentence again but Sam still understood what she meant. “i begged him to pay bail but he never did, he knew he had an advantage. once Elias was released he knew what he did to me and told all of my moms family. after that they started helping out and some even offered us a place to stay but Elias never wanted to” Estelle shrugged.

Sam frowned, “why not?” she wasn’t sure if asking was insensitive but that didn’t sound like Elias, considering he tried to protect Estelle as much as he did, why wouldn’t he want to give her a better life with a stable home and family.

“i guess he just didn’t trust anyone else after my dad” Estelle shrugged once more. “but he promised to be more careful so he wouldn’t get arrested again. up until almost two weeks ago” she continued with a sigh. “my dad came back to town the day after he was.”

Sams stomach dropped at her words. she hadn’t put two and two together but now she knew how Estelle got the bruises. how could a father do that to his own daughter?

“he didn’t.. yknow touch me like that but he was pissed off that he got a call saying his son is in jail and now that he’s in a committed relationship, he was mad that he had to stop his new life to come back here. he took it out on me and yeah” Estelle said as if it were no big deal.

Sam shifted closer to the girl hesitantly but once she was sure Estelle wasn’t going to move away she continued to move closer until she could wrap an arm around the girls petite body. “i know there’s nothing i could ever say to heal what happened to you and i’m so sorry that it did. that man is a shitty person and i promise i won’t let him get near you again” she said firmly making Estelle smile as she let her head fall on the girls chest.

“you gonna be my knight and shinning armor miss Carpenter?” Estelle joked.

Sam shrugged with a sheepish smile. “maybe. i might steal your heart after all” she joked back.

but Estelle knew she wasn’t joking. “maybe you already have” she said lowly as she moved impossibly closer to Sam. the taller girl held her even tighter in response.

she deserved someone like her, someone who cared enough to endure shitty words and the cold shoulder and even an uncomfortable couch simply just to show she wasn’t alone. Estelle deserved a love that wouldn’t leave her. one that would be unconditional and one that wouldn’t cause her harm whether that’s emotional or physical.

she deserved to be loved by someone that cared enough to stay.

[sevi007]

Warning! I will be blogging about my first Tales of Abyss playthrough here. If you don't want to see it or be flooded or smth, blacklist "sevi plays tales of the abyss"

@magicmetslogic get tagged!

Soooo started Tales of the Abyss now! (I kept thinking it's called Tales of Abyss, without the "the", RIP me) Must say, this immediately felt incredibly different of a premise to Vesperia (the only Tales I have finished til now) and Zestiria (which I... maybe barely passed the prologue, lol). I think a lot of that is because of Luke and his situation. Getting into that later on.

But! Let's start from the top.

Absolutely gorgeous opening for one, really loved it. I probably got spoilered without realizing it, but with no context, that's not terrible. I remain blissfully unaware!

It immediately felt a bit faster paced story-wise. A bit more emotionally taxing on the protagonist, too. To start, I open the game and get immediately met with red-headed, hot-headed Luke (who is fittingly spoken by Yuri Lowenthal, who voiced Tidus in FFX) and Ithink he's an upbeat headstrong guy - which he is but -

I barely leave his room to get thrown a skit immediately:

I hit the mental breaks when I read that because what. What. You just kept your kid inside like a pet or something?

I mean, in Vesperia, Estelle had a sheltered upbringing as well, and was certainly a bit on the naive side, but she at least was acutely aware of the world outside of the walls of her prison. Luke is not even given that, which you realize approximately two minutes into the game since his only contact to the outside world seems to be his swordfight trainer Van. I am absolutely flabbergasted. This is damaging to a kid!

(And no, this is no normal response to your kid getting kidnapped. Protecting him is one thing. Putting him on house arrest a whole other. I suspect it's not just a security thing but there is more going on here.)

And then next mental break: What the hell is Flynn Scifo doing here?

I'm joking, I'm joking. And yes I have been informed that technically, Flynn is a copy of Guy since Vespy came out later. But still. With my minimum knowledge of Tales, forgive me for immediately drawing connection to Versperia at every turn. And the likeness is startling! XD He seems to be a good guy that Guy (pft) so for now, I like the boy.

(Stop climbing outta windows like a thief though!)

Ah. Really glad I decided to explore the rooms a little. This is...

Well. I assume this was meant to be one of those anime-typical jokes of "haha, he's afraid of this or that" but... call me old-fashioned or a snowflake or whatever the correct term is but I don't think this is very funny. These two quite literally have him cornered, and he looks outright terrified of them. And instead of backing off - or Luke rescuing him - we just have to leave again? Uff. Don't like.

Never quite liked making fun of things others are afraid of, not even if it seems silly from outside.

... Oh wow. Luke is even more sheltered than I thought. This seems to be general, public knowledge, and he got nothing? Does he not get any kind of schooling while on house arrest?

From their reactions, this is not something he is supposed to know but forgot, but more like, nobody even told him. That's... okay. I seriously question his parents right now as well as Van for not teaching him even basics of the outside world.

(On the other hand, in a sense of dumbing it all down for a new player, this is quite genius. Given that Luke needs to be explained everything, so does the player learn at the same time. but still. Questionable decisions all around.)

Utterly. Questionable. Decisions.

Yes I'm already going full on protective mama bear mode on Luke. Give me a caged, sad kid who tries to put on a loud and confident facade and I immediately go "mine" XD

And now, for that faster pacing...

Ma'am I JUST finished the tutorial would you please refrain from killing me til I got to practice some more!

[coffeeheartaddict2]

A new Friendship

Book: Open Heart (when egos collide timeline)

Pairing: F!MC Casey Valentine, Tobias Carrick

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault and bio attack (brief) language

Category: fluffs

Rating: Mature

Word count: 1802

Summary: the beginning of the friendship between Casey and Tobias.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

He had been working at Edenbrook for a couple of months now. He jumped at the chance to move away from Kenmore. He and Ethan were getting along well for the first time in a long time and they worked really well together too. He hoped that he could fully reconcile their friendship.

One thing he did feel though was shame. Shame at believing the worst about his and Casey’s relationship, even after seeing him with her during the bio-weapon attack. After being on the team for a mere few weeks he could see that the rumour mill was misguided, especially the latest bout after the sexual assault she most recently endured.

He was here today as her co-attending but he wanted more than just to be her colleague, he also wanted to be her friend. A part of Tobias was nervous, the memories of a drunken poor decision then finding out he had been lied to still haunted him to this day. The big difference this time he knew how Ethan felt truly about Casey, without having to be told so he knew there was no room for being lied to but he knew that what happened with Estelle had never been addressed properly and he hoped that Ethan would not assume the worst.

Casey arrived.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Tobias?”

“Can’t I meet an attending who is partially under my charge without it being questioned?”

“Of course you can Tobias, but normally when I am meeting to discuss my performance it is with yourself and Ethan.” Stated Casey.

“True, this is more of a welfare check and social chat and I preferred to do it away from prying eyes.”

“Fair enough.” Says Casey. “To be honest the most upsetting thing about recent events is the gossip that I found out. Professionally I am fine Tobias but personally I am getting there. Therapy and Ethan are helping.”

“Well I am glad, I will admit I was taken aback when you were brought in, not who I was ever expecting to see in that situation ever..”

“Yeah, it was not a situation I expected to ever be in, thankfully I was able to identify the assailant, but I do not trust Leland to keep things fair.”

“ Yeah, I heard he was pretty pissed when he was arrested.”

“I am glad that you are going well considering the circumstances.”

“Thanks, Tobias, so question, what is the deal with you and Ethan ?”

Tobias raises an eyebrow, surprised at the question, sensing his confusion, Casey continued.

“For someone who has been on the outer with my boyfriend for nearly 15yrs, you both are acting awfully friendly.”

“As I said to Ethan on the morning I started, I am here to work. Toxic competition combined with bad decision on my part lead to the fallout we had, even though we were not friends I still had the utmost respect, yeah we still had our moments competitively since but it is the nature of the game but I like to think I have grown and he definitely has too, I would like to think we could be friendly again despite what has happened.”

Is the bad decision on your part relating to the girl you both fell for?”

“Yes but that is a story for another time, this was a meeting to see how you are going, not to rehash med school.”

“Fair enough, thank you for your concern.”

They finished their coffee and headed back.

Tobias went back to work but Casey went and saw Ethan. Ethan had told her about the falling out that occurred and she knew all the Estelle drama and that attempts had been made in the past to reconcile to no avail but with Tobias all but admitting he was hoping they could , well it was a shock.

Casey told Ethan about the meeting and how it did start off as a check in to see how she was going after everything and then she tells Ethan about what was the deal with them lately and how he all but admitted that he hoped they could be friends again.

Ethan was not fully surprised. Tobias had been a man of his word and was here to work with the team and not against it. Working together had made him miss their friendship for sure, but he was not wanting to push it but he had to admit that Tobias was showing he could be trusted again. Ethan encouraged Casey to explore a friendship with Tobias, Casey was shocked but Ethan reminded her that they had both changed since medical school.

Casey pondered Ethan’s words for a few days. Unbeknownst to her, a meeting between Tobias and Leland had occurred which was going to shake the team dynamics eventually. Work was busy and boards fast approaching. Casey knew they were up to something but did not know what, all she knew is that whatever they were upto was either going to end in disaster or them reconciled and personally she was hoping for the latter.

When Casey was implicated with getting their patient into the non placebo group, it added another level of stress but at least it was confirmed that Tobias and Ethan were up to something. She hoped that both men knew what they were doing. Casey had her own stressors too but she was thankful for the support of both men and Caroline also.

Tobias again requested an off site meeting and Casey was determined to hear Tobias’s side to everything that went down.

They met and exchanged pleasantries. Tobias was pleased to hear that she appeared to be going well with everything that had been happening. He knew she was resilient but even the most resilient of people have a breaking point.

Casey then asked.

“You and Estelle from your perspective, and go.”

Tobias raised an eyebrow but given how well he and Ethan were going, it only seemed fair that she heard things from his side.

“We both met Estelle at Hopkins on research projects. She was more friendly with Ethan but at that point we were a package deal so we became friends. Both of us were attracted to her, she was attractive and smart but I could see that she only had eyes for Ethan so I let that evolve. It took awhile for them to be seeing each other romantically, it occurred between Christmas and new year of mine and Ethan’s second year. Things appeared to be going well, I knew Estelle appeared to be head over heels in love, I knew Ethan felt something but it all came to a head towards the end of our second year. They had a discussion about them and where they saw themselves, Estelle had a mind on residency as she was going into her final year. Needless to say the discussion did not end well.”

Tobias took a sip of his coffee to give Casey a chance to ask any questions but they were not coming so he continued.

“I had been out with some other friends, I was wandering a bit to give Ethan the maximum amount of alone time when I happened upon Estelle who was in tears. I was shocked and she told me about the fight that happened and how her and Ethan had broken up. I went to walk her home, we stopped off at a bar, had too much to drink, she kissed me twice. I suggested we should get her home where she kissed me again but I ignored the voice that said stop. We then had sex, I then left a note then left as I was wracked with guilt and could not sleep. Ethan was still up and I said I heard you broke up with Estelle. He then rightfully got pissed off. I then said that I was told differently and apologized . I then state what happened and we had a verbal fight and he stormed out. I then called Estelle and voiced my frustration at being lied too. Me and Ethan never recovered from that. He could not trust me, Estelle made a play for him again and when that failed she tried to get me but I was not going for it. Our competition got toxic and we imploded, me deleting a message from Edenbrook in anger was the last straw.”

Tobias braced himself for anger that did not come.

“ When we were participating in Leland’s cage match, me and Ethan joined Leland and some business associates on a yacht and Ethan gave me a brief version, but he mentioned that he had made attempts to reconcile in the past, why did that not happen?”

“Trust, lack thereof. Pure and simple. The first time Ethan reached out was just after he published Diagnostic Principles. We sat at that table over there, had a coffee, caught up and Estelle was bought up and Ethan at that point still did not know if he could trust me. We did see each other at various other points and were cordial if our paths crossed but I guess it was not our time.”

“Why did you not reconcile after the attack? Surely you would have earned enough trust after that?”

“One would think, I have never seen Ethan as shook as he was that day. I know Dr Hirata was hoping for a collapse, but we did have an altercation after and I thought that was the end of that but when Dr Hirata moved to Kenmore, well let’s just say I saw all the bullshit that I suspected she was capable of and I ended our arrangement and then decided I needed a fresh start professionally and when he decided he did not want in on the team I suggested the counter offer which was accepted.”

“Well, Ethan does trust you with me. After our last meeting here he encouraged me to pursue a friendship with you. Life has gotten in the way a bit…”

Tobias did not know what to say to that. He had always had an apprehension of starting a friendship with Casey, even though he had known from before staring at Edenbrook that she was indeed off limits romantically but to be trusted, well it certainly was not something he was not expecting. He did know that they worked well together, the plan was certainly going to test any trust rebuilt but to Tobias this was a big step into a reconciliation that he was starting to realize that was something he needed.

Tobias smiled and they finished off their coffee. They headed back to Edenbrook, both hopeful of a friendship between them but more importantly for Tobias, the repair of a friendship he ruined that night.

———-

Authors note: there seemed a good point to end it. I envision the second chat happening around chapter 9-10 of my when egos collide series. Our two lovable men have a long overdue chat about Estelle in chapter 11 and their budding reconciliation goes forth from there.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @bex-la-get @ofmischiefandmedicine @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @tessa-liam @lucy-268

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[pterodactylterrace]

Promise

Summary: A promise is a promise and you can’t break one. Especially not a pinky promise.

Warning: character death, grief, mourning, injuries, child loss, alcohol use. Dead dove: do not eat.

“I’m gonna be a bunny farmer!” The little girl declared, kissing her father’s cheek and reaching hopefully for her stuffed toy.

“That sounds like it would suit you, little bunny.” Eskel laughed, passing her the stuffed rabbit.

“Uh-hu.” She agreed.

“You ready to go, Dove?”

“I’d be ready a hell of a lot faster if I was less nauseous.” She sighed, emerging from the bathroom and grabbing her purse.

“Still feeling sick?” Eskel asked gently, resting a soft hand on the small swell of her belly.

“Not as bad as it was.”

“Papa, why is Mama sick?”

“Sometimes grownups just get sick, Bunny.” She explained, smiling mischievously at her husband. He had wanted to tell everyone he could right away. Not just friends and family, either. Literally everyone. Eskel had wanted to shout from the rooftops that it wasn’t a fluke, and that his balls still worked in spite of the chemotherapy he underwent when he was four. He’d been told his entire life he more than likely wouldn’t be able to have children of his own because of it. Finding out they were expecting their first child had been one of the best days of his life. Finding out it wasn’t a fluke ranked right up there with it.

“Come on, if we’re late, Lambert will eat all the deviled eggs again.”

“Ugh, eggs.” His girls groaned in unison, Eskel’s head falling back in laughter. Bunny truly was her mother’s clone.

~*~

“Eskel… we missed you at dinner yesterday.” Geralt had seen his brother bloodied, so sick he couldn’t stand, blackout drunk and completely delirious before, but only once like this. He never wanted to see him like this again. Empty. Hollow.

“Go away.”

“Eskel. What do you think she would say if she saw you like this? She never liked it when you drank hard liquor.” Geralt gently pointed out, slowly approaching. He could smell the whiskey from across the room.

“Don’t.” Eskel growled, sharp eyes biting through Geralt. “Don’t you dare.”

“I know you’re hurting-”

“You don’t know anything!” Eskel lashed out, chucking his empty glass. It shattered on the floor between them. Eskel’s eyes filled with tears at the sound, unconsciously grabbing the stuffed rabbit in his lap.

~*~

“She asleep?” Eskel whispered, glancing in the rear view mirror to try and get a glimpse of his daughter.

“Out like a light.” She laughed softly, taking Eskel’s offered hand as he turned his attention back to the road.

“So, thought of any names?”

“No, not yet. I mean… with Estelle, I knew right away what I wanted to call her.”

“Not that we ever use her name.” Eskel interjected, chuckling softly at the gentle smack to his shoulder.

“I liked it because it sounded like your name. Figured we would call her Stella or something.”

“She’s much more of a Bunny anyway. What about your name?”

“You want to name your son Isabelle?”

“Isaac?”

“We’ll see.” She decided after a second, eyes going wide just before she screamed his name, headlights blinding him as he swerved to avoid the car that had entered oncoming traffic.

~*~

“Esk.” Geralt soothed, stepping around the glass and sitting next to him on the couch. “Why didn’t you reach out? We would have dropped everything if we knew you were struggling again.”

“Struggling. Is that what this is?” Eskel laughed bitterly. “I’m not struggling. Everything I lived for is gone. I’m existing.”

“Did something happen? Was it the long weekend?” They had been keeping a close eye on him since the accident. Nurses had been in for the first few weeks, helping to clean and dress his injuries. They made sure someone was with him around the clock for the first month. They backed off once Eskel had asked for some space to try and heal. He still came every Sunday for family dinner at Vesemir’s house. They had thought he had been doing so well, all things considered. He could carry on a conversation, he cleaned his plate. He even laughed at a few of Lambert’s jokes. What had happened?

“We… We were supposed to go to the beach today.” Eskel admitted sadly after a long pause, gently stroking the stuffed toy in his lap as his eyes swam with memories. “We promised we would go. All of us. S-she was s-so excited. They both were.” Bunny had always been a Daddy’s girl. She’d had him wrapped around his finger since she was born.

“He would have been here by now, right?”

“That’s what we were hoping. It was supposed to be our first trip to the beach as a family.”

“Bunny would have fallen asleep on the ride home. Probably even before you started the car.”

“Would have been too excited to sleep on the way there.” Eskel lamented, gently stroking the ear of the rabbit, the fur worn thin from where she would rub it against her face to sleep at night

“Then let’s take them.” Geralt suggested gently, resting a gentle hand on his brother's back. “A promise is a promise.”

“She would have gotten us up before dawn.” Eskel whispered shakily, roughly swiping the tears from his eyes, his fingers lingering on the healing gashes on his face. “Considering her brother didn’t keep us up all night, anyway. Babies have no concept of day and night.”

“Think Isaac would have been a fussy child?”

“I’ve heard that the first one is always easier. If that was easy, we would have had our hands full.”

“Go shower. Sober up. I’ll clean this mess.” Geralt instructed, carefully helping his brother to his feet.

~*~

“Where are they? Where’s my daughter? My wife! She’s pregnant! Where is she?”

“Sir, you need to calm down, you’ve been in an accident.”

“Where are they?!” Eskel repeated, trying to look for himself, only to find his head held in place by something.

“We need to get him stabilized. He’s lost a lot of blood. We need to get him to the OR, stat.”

Terror gripped Eskel in a cold fist as his world slowly faded to black again.

~*~

Eskel still looked like absolute hell when he returned, his hair dripping onto his fresh shirt. A necklace in his shaking hand. Geralt knew the pendant contained their ashes. He had suggested it as a way to keep them close. An engagement ring and wedding band hung next to it on a thick silver chain.

“It’s beautiful. Certainly would be Bunny approved.”

“Still doesn’t do them justice.” Eskel lamented, slowly hanging it around his neck for the first time since he’d gotten it. “But you’re right. Bu… she… would have loved it.” Months later and he still couldn’t bring himself to say their names.

“Is there another one for Izzy and Isaac?”

“No, they’re all here. Felt… I couldn’t separate them. She would have torn me a new one for even considering it.” Eskel replied softly, his eyes wandering back to the urns on the mantle, one engraved with a rabbit, the other a dove, a small black urn tucked close to it with only a pair of wings to adorn it.

~*~

Eskel stared through the nursery glass, tears filling his vision as he stared at the tiny body in the incubator. He had survived the crash somehow, but his mother and sister had not. The nurses had tried to stop him from coming, insisting he needed rest, but once Eskel set his mind to something, there was no stopping him.

No brain activity. Those words had been a knife to his already crushed heart. He was alive, but he would never have a life. His entire family was snatched away in a single moment. Hope for his son to somehow make it, to be ok had poisoned his mind the last two days. Tubes and machines were the only thing keeping him alive.

“Can I hold him?” Eskel asked shakily, his voice rough from the breathing tube that had to use to keep him alive during the surgery to repair his hemorrhaged insides. “I don’t want him to pass alone.”

“Of course.”

He was so tiny in Eskel’s giant hand. So fragile. Eskel tucked him close to his chest, tears soaking his bandaged face as he held his son for the first and last time. “It’s ok little one. Go be with your Mama and sissy. Tell them how much I love them, ok? Tell them that I miss them so much. Let Mama know I got to hold you. She’ll be happy to know that. I’ll love you all forever. I promise.”

~*~

“Don’t forget Bun Bun.” Geralt reminded, nodding to the stuffed toy resting on the couch.

“Never would have heard the end of it if I did.” Eskel held the stuffed toy like it was made of glass, smiling ruefully as he gave it a small squeeze.

“Come on, big guy. You’ve got a promise to keep.”

“A pinkie promise.” Eskel amended, a small smile tugging at his scarred face as he remembered the determination in his daughter's eye as she held out her tiny finger to him.

“We really can’t break that, then.” Everyone knows you can’t break a pinkie promise. Especially a Bunny pinky promise.

~*~

“What do I do?” Eskel choked, his eyes locked on the empty urns, pictures of his family surrounding them. Their wedding photo, on the beach like Izzy had insisted. Bunny on a swing as Eskel pushed her. His wife holding his daughter in front of the Christmas tree. A picture of when she had been heavily pregnant with their daughter. That one was taken the day before she went into labor if he remembered correctly. His memories were still a little fuzzy. He hoped they would come back; that’s all he had left of them, after all. A lonely sonogram sat amongst them, a broken promise of what should have been.

“Breathe. Just… breathe.” Vesemir instructed. “Just focus on the next breath for now. A minute will pass. Then an hour, then a day, then a week, then months and years. All you have to do is breathe, son.”

“Years… without them. Seems pointless.”

“Live for them. That’s the best thing you can do now.”

“I want them back. Why couldn’t I have died with them?”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“It’s the truth. They died and I ended up mangled. What sort of life can I live now? I have nothing. My wife, my kids, my face even!”

“You have us.” Vesemir soothed, wrapping his arms around his eldest as he sagged against him. “We will always be here for you. You never have to be alone.”

“Promise?” Eskel’s voice was barely a whimper, muffled by Vesemir’s shoulder.

“Yes, son. I promise.”

Tags:  @weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay @packerfan43 @cavillsthighs @poledancingdinos @pretty-toxic-revolver @oh-for-fic-sake @geralt-of-baevia @littleone65 @littlefreya @eldarwen333 @sillyrabbit81 @beck07990 @pandaxnienke @marytudorbrandon @identity2212 @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @stardusted26 @cardierreh15

[mirrorball-writings]

Estelle

Estelle Black is the youngest of the Black siblings, and she has never been excited about anything as much as she is about going to Hogwarts. She simply can't wait to be with Regulus every day, learning about magic and trying to keep the peace between her brothers.

WC: 1.8k

Warnings: blood supremacy, Black family drama

The Noble House of Black was my home, and I wanted nothing more. Sometimes my family could be stressful, but I loved them all the same, even Sirius. My parents hated that I still loved Sirius after he had been put in Gryffindor, but I knew that he was still a good person and a great brother, and I frankly agreed with him more than our parents, although I never told them that. Even though I hated the whole idea of blood supremacy, I was glad to be a part of the family. I knew everything I needed to know, I had plenty of magic, and I was respected.

I had absolutely no worries going to Hogwarts. After Sirius went, I was certainly worried, but when Regulus got sorted into Slytherin my anxieties subsided. The next year, this year, would be my first at Hogwarts, and I was thrilled to finally join my brothers at school. I had bought all my supplies at Diagon Alley and had meticulously packed everything into my trunk. I rolled my trolley right through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾ and was about to follow my brothers onto the train when my mother called my attention back.

“Estelle.”

I turned around.

“Stay away from Sirius. Stick with Regulus and his friends, or make your own friends if you please. Just stay away from Sirius.”

I nodded, curtsied, and bounded off to find a compartment on the train. Sirius grinned at me and offered me a spot in his, but I shrugged, signaling to him that Mother had told me not to hang around him. Instead, I found Regulus’s compartment and he happily offered me the window seat next to him.

The train ride was anything but interesting. I spent most of the time watching out the window at the rolling hills of the Highlands and trying to ignore the hushed conversations of my brother’s friends, although I couldn’t miss the mentions of good blood, bad blood, pure blood, and mud blood that so often repeated themselves. I hoped that whatever friends I made wouldn’t make such a big deal about that, although I knew my parents would prefer if they did. Maybe if I made friends with someone else from a noble family, my parents wouldn’t be upset. I didn’t want them to be upset.

After hours of staring at the scenery that had slowly turned pink and then blue and then black, I felt the train slowing as we approached the school. I had already changed into my school clothes, so I gathered up my things and followed Regulus out, where he pointed me in the direction of the first years. I waved goodbye and he promised to save me a seat at the Slytherin table. I piled into a canoe with a few other first years, although I didn’t know their names. None of us spoke a word more than “Hello.” “Hello.” “Is there another seat available?” “Yes.” “Might I sit with you?” “Alright.” I assumed they may have been nervous about the Sorting. I expect I might have been if I didn’t already know what would happen.

No amount of description from my brothers could have prepared me, though, for the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts. When I stepped in, a collective hush had fallen over the first years as we all stared in awe around the hall. It was a glorious room with sparkling tile and gleaming mahogany, with an enormous stone staircase right in front of us. The walls were a hundred meters high, littered with portraits of all sizes, from the ornate Renaissances to the colorful Impressionists. The light from the candles danced around the walls, creating abstract shapes and shadows of the students. It seemed like forever that we waited to be called into the Great Hall, but nobody really complained.

Despite the second wave of wonder that came over the students as we walked into the Great Hall, there was much more muttering in the group as students asked each other what house they thought they would be put into, or which one they wanted to be in, or, for the muggleborn students, what the Sorting entailed. Soon enough, the stool and the battered Sorting Hat were brought forth, and the Sorting Ceremony began.

I didn’t have to wait long before “Black, Estelle” was called. I walked confidently towards the stool, sat down, and put the hat over my head. It fell over my eyes, and I had the haunting feeling that the Sorting Hat could see much more than I could through its patched and worn fabric.

“Ah, another Black. I have already sorted your two brothers, although in different houses. I wonder where you will fall.”

“Slytherin.”

“Slytherin, you say? But Slytherin is for those much more cunning than yourself. You have a wish to prove yourself, yes, and you do try to please your family, but…”

“I have to be in Slytherin.”

“Oh, no, you should not be in Slytherin if that is not where you are meant to be. Your desire to make people happy is strong, but so is your desire to do right.”

By now, the whole room was quiet. Although I couldn’t see, I felt everyone’s eyes staring right at me. Everyone, like me, had been sure that the hat wouldn’t have needed to spend much time at all in deciding my fate, but it seemed to be much less decisive than I anticipated.

“You would do well in Gryffindor, you know. Your strongest wish is to do what is right, no matter how hard it may be.”

“No, my strongest wish is to make my family proud. If I were brave like a Gryffindor, I would have stood up for Sirius all those times.”

“Perhaps, perhaps. Although some may argue that your desire to stand up for him at all shows your drive to protect the innocent, despite your family’s wishes.”

“Couldn’t I do well in Slytherin, too, though?”

“Yes, you would do very well in Slytherin. You would do nearly anything for what you desire, even if that meant going against your own opinions. You have a great drive, which would serve you well in Slytherin, although you may not find success from your ambition if you have to follow that path. Well… I suppose I must make the right decision.”

The mutters in the hall had begun again, this time anxious as everyone wondered where I would be. The hat had argued with me and itself for a few minutes now, and I felt that surely it would put me in Slytherin. After all, I had all the qualities they need. I was ambitious and I had a fierce drive to prove myself to my family, not to mention that I wasn’t brave enough to stand up to my parents, while bravery is the biggest trait for Gryffindors. No, it made much more sense that Sirius was in Gryffindor, because he was brave enough to stand up to them. I suppose I did —

“GRYFFINDOR!”

A gasp shot up through the hall, or maybe my own gasp had sounded so loud that I thought I heard others. The hat was taken off my head and I stumbled across the hall, not even noticing the stares and whispers that followed me. I didn’t see anything, or hear anything, or feel anything at all, except for the erratic pounding in my chest, the swimming of the colors on the walls, and the hand on my arm and back, pulling me gently into a seat at the red and gold table. Sirius.

I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the Sorting, and nor did Sirius, it seemed. He rubbed my arm comfortingly, and whispered in my ear, although I couldn’t make out what it was he was saying due to the rushing of blood in my ears. I simply stared ahead, blocking out everything, trying to forget about what would happen. I knew what would happen. I had seen what had happened to Sirius in the time since he got sorted, and I knew they would do the same to me. There was nothing I could do, so I tried to forget by drowning everything out. Even once the Sorting ended and the hall went quiet, I continued to stare into space, or perhaps just right at one of Sirius’s friends. I didn’t know what I was looking at, and I frankly didn’t care. I distantly made out the fact that Professor Dumbledore was making a short speech, but his words sounded so foggy that I didn’t even try to comprehend what it was he was saying. Regulus would tell me if I missed something important. No, not Regulus. Would he? Would Regulus still talk to me at all? If I waved in the corridor, would he wave back, or would he pretend he didn’t know me? All those years of being my brother, surely he wouldn’t give it up…

“Come on, Elle, you really should eat something,” I heard Sirius tell me softly. I just shook my head. I knew I couldn’t. All the hunger I had felt coming off the train was gone now.

I wasn’t able to walk with Sirius up to Gryffindor Tower since the first years had to go with the prefects, but I met him in the Common Room. I had planted myself on a chair in front of the fire with my knees curled up into my chest and had resumed my mission of forgetting. Forgetting about what would happen to me. What our parents would do, what Regulus would do. I soon felt Sirius push himself into the sliver of space left on the chair and wrap his arm around me.

“Hey, Elle.”

I turned to face him and gave him a light smile.

He sighed. “I didn’t want you to be in Gryffindor. I mean, not that I don’t want to be with you, but…”

“I understand. I didn’t either.”

“It’ll be okay, you know.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay for you. I’m not brave like you.”

He sighed again. “No, Estelle. It will be okay. I’ll make sure of it. I’m sure it’ll be hard, but it will be okay.”

It will be okay. It will be okay. It will… no matter how much he said it, I knew. I could almost feel the smoking red envelope that would come tomorrow morning, could almost hear the screaming that would echo across the hall. I could almost see the face of my brother turning away in shame as I try to catch his eye. Regulus. The screaming. Mother. The cuts and the curses I would get next time I went home. Father. Mother. Sirius. Sirius. Sirius cupping my cheek as I space out again. Sirius pulling my head to his chest. Sirius. Sirius holding my shaking body close. Sirius. Sirius whispering in my ear as I start to cry. Sirius. Sirius. Mother. Father. Regulus. Father. Regulus. Mother. Sirius. Sirius.

[bookwormonastring]

just told my dad a bit about the invisible life of addie larue and i said “she basically made a deal with the devil” and because of that he said “but the devil doesn’t exist”??? SIR.

1. it was clear that i didn’t mean that was literally what she did bc of the way i said ‘basically’ and how it took me a minute to decide how to say it bc i was considering the full explanation

2. neither does addie larue! it’s a fictional book! of course it isn’t real!

[summercreolefanfictioner]

the crown and the throne (DiaLovers fanfic // Game of Thrones AU)

seize the ladder || reiji

Reiji observed the chess pieces he made for his plan, smiling to himself as every single one of them is as it should be.

So Eve finally has her own kingdom and army at the Dothraki. The Tsukinamis are dead. Subaru and the triplets are nowhere to be found. Now all that's left are the Mukami's, the Queen, and that good-for-nothing.

All his life he has been serving his father, always earning his favor in hopes he would see him as his successor. But now that he's dead, Reiji is sure the clocks of time and the game of thrones are agreeing with him.

Of course, he still can't forget what Kanato warned him. His timely death, as per the wizard's vision.

Reiji didn't know when that time will come, but he was sure it will be far from today. For now, he'll just focus on what he can do before seizing what he believes is rightfully his.

Let's see... My next move is to—

There was a knock on the door. "Milord? You've asked for my presence?" a familiar feminine voice asked behind the door.

Reiji went towards the door and opened it, revealing Estelle with a tray of his usual teapot and set of tableware. She was wary of him, almost as if she was walking on eggshells. Though to be fair, Reiji expects her to be that way.

After all, Estelle was a whore, and his brother took her as his woman once. Of course, Beatrix found out and she sent Estelle away and threatened to kill her if she continues her relationship with Shuu, only for Reiji to find out she was one of his wife's servants here in Vale.

Reiji let her in, telling her to set down the tray on the table so he could discuss something with her.

"What would be the topic about?" she asked, slightly hoping it wouldn't be a dangerous one that involves seeing Shuu.

"I am actually packed with my schedule, so I thought I needed a helping hand," he told her, carefully taking her hand in his to prove his point. "I remember you know how to copy handwriting techniques, so I thought you would be best suited for the job."

Estelle stammered, unable to free her hand from him out of nervousness. It was only when Lady Tiyana Appleton, the queen of Vale, knocked on the open door, clearing her throat to announce her presence.

At this moment, Estelle pulled her hand away, rubbing it on her clothes discreetly to prove her point to the lady at the door who was frowning at the scene before her.

Reiji gave her a sickening smile. "Tiyana, my dear. It's good to see you're doing well after that fever."

And after that, Reiji was attentive to her needs, spending time with her as she makes her usual flower arrangements while complaining about Estelle.

"Why do you still keep her? She's nothing but a nuisance."

"I have to, my dear. Estelle healed you back to health, after all. She's been helpful to us ever since we took her."

But Estelle and Reiji got much closer to Tiyana's dismay. He often relied on her about heavy tasks like sending letters to the Houses, ensuring he got all the ingredients for his poison experiments, handling all his important documents etc.

Tiyana silently seethes in anger every time she sees them, but Reiji meant no harm. Everything for Reiji was business, of course. The way he moves calculatory while keeping a careful watch on their enemies. That's why Tiyana killed for him. They loved each other, so she had to kill all the people who dared tear them apart.

But Reiji had ulterior motives at that. He knew of Tiyana's feelings for him and took advantage of the situation. One time, while Estelle helped him picked out the rare ingredients for his new experiment, Reiji played the victim, telling the stories of a man who's tired of constantly proving himself. And in the midst of his story, he kissed her. But Estelle felt nothing but anxiety about it.

And a few days after that, Reiji witnessed his wife, trying to push Estelle towards the Moon Door, mad and hysterical about how the whore tried to bewitch Reiji.

"How dare you tear us apart, you wench?!" Tiyana screamed, forcing Estelle to look down at the Moon Door. The latter would only beg for her mercy, hoping Tiyana wouldn't push her down the Moon Door and end her life.

"I did everything. EVERYTHING FOR REIJI!" she screamed, crying hysterically. "I killed everyone who got in our way—even my former husband—just so Reiji and I can be together." Tiyana pulled her hair tighter. "And now... Everything! EVERYTHING'S FALLING APART BECAUSE YOU KEPT ON TEMPTING HIM!"

"I have no intentions of Lord Reiji, Lady Tiyana," Estelle cried. "Please, let me go."

Reiji stepped in at the moment before it got worse. "My love."

Tiyana stopped momentarily at that, his presence enough to make her weak.

"My love," Reiji was being careful. "Don't do that."

Tiyana only cried. "Why are you defending her? She was getting in our way! She needs to die!"

"My love, we need her, remember?" Reiji reminded. "Besides, I pledged my life to you. I will never find someone I will spend my lifetime with other than you."

After a few minutes, Tiyana decided to let Estelle go, crying in Reiji's arms and whispering not to leave her behind.

"I wouldn't leave you, Tiyana," Reiji assured. "I would do anything for you."

She sniffed. "Likewise. I would do anything for you and our love."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

And the next thing, Reiji pushed her towards the Moon Door, smirking as he saw the shock and betrayal across Tiyana's face as she fell down. Estelle's mouth was wide open, her scream lost in agony as she watched the whole scene in front of her.

That's when she realized what Reiji had done.

He sighed. "That's one nuisance taken out. There's one more to go."

When he turned to Estelle, he gave her a knowing smile, a smile of the devil who had accomplished his plan. Reiji has now power in Vale, and he can do anything he wanted to crush his enemies.

"Thank you for your good work, Estelle," Reiji commented. "I hope this 'affair' will last for a long time."

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[chasingpj]

HONEYYYYY I JUST READ THE MOST DISGUSTING (IN AN ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE WAY) PERCABETH COLLEGE AU ONE-SHOT and now I'm JEALOUS and in desperate need for just some short headcanons of going to new rome with Percy 😭 pretty pls?

LMFAO OH NO SJFJDJD BYE CAUSE THIS IS SO ME. but don't worry, I got you, babe, <333

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

paring: percy jackson x gn reader

warning: drinking, partying

category: headcanons, college au

a/n: i was gonna answer this when i got it last night but i went a little overboard 😭 i hope you like it!

first off, the road trip you guys took to get there was so chaotic

a part of you isn't sure how you, Percy, and Grover made it to California alive

the number of times where you've swerved off a lane while singing your favorite songs with Percy was too many

this usually made him paranoid, and it's the reason why he insisted on driving most of the way (you definitely didn't mind that)

you guys stopped at every state sign you came across and took a cute group picture

you and Percy had mapped out all the tourist stuff and the good places to eat in each state, so you guys stopped a lot

there were lots of sleepy nights at hotel rooms where you guys crashed the moment you guys got comfortable in each other's arms

the road trip was so memorable, and it set the tone for the next four years of your lives 🥺

those polaroids you took with Percy and Grover would be on the walls of your apartment for so long

for the first few months in new rome, you and Percy were just in a honeymoon bubble

you guys went out every weekend to restaurants and spent mornings studying in the cafes and libraries

living with Percy was just how you imagined it, and even better, you didn't even mind that he is a little messy 😭

you guys found out in your first year that morning classes were not the best choice because Percy was way too good at convincing you to skip your lectures to cuddle with him

it's the reason why most of your classes are in the afternoon because the two of you love to sleep in and get breakfast together before starting your days

but yeah, the first few months was a lot of exploring places and the things to do and establishing newfound independence and routine together <3

Percy, I know, is an introvert, but he's popular regardless because, you know, being a hero and all

I'd like to think that Percy is elected, to his dismay, as the official greek representative now that there will be more greeks attending New Rome and stuff

you find it hilarious cause 1) he wears a toga and 2) he knows all the tea of the council and will spill everything to you like teenage girls in a locker room 3) he complains about it all the time 😭

because he has a title and is popular, he gets invited to parties a lot, and every other weekend, you guys will stop by

one of your favorite memories is Percy accidentally drinking the jungle juice, thinking it's regular juice, and getting plastered 😭

I'd like to think Percy is indifferent about drinking like personally, he's not interested, but he wouldn't judge you for it

but yeah, Percy gets plastered, and you had to get him back home

his arm was wrapped around your shoulders, and the entire time he's just slurring things like, "you're so beautiful. why are you so beautiful?" "I love you. do you love me?" "you're like the best thing that's ever happened to me."

there's no way Percy isn't an affectionate drunk! he'd ask for a lot of kisses, will get offended if you deny one kiss

even if you've given him 10 kisses right before your rejection

the entire time you couldn't stop laughing cause you'd never seen him like this

it was a sticky summer night, and he's heavy, so your face was a little shiny from sweat

he proceeded to call you "his little glazed donut" 😭😭and tell you how cute you looked

you were laughing too hard to even be offended

the following day you had to nurse him through his hangover, but the best part was showing him the videos of him and hearing his groans of embarrassment

he got his chance to make fun of you though

you have a very faint memory of Pollux teaching you how to shotgun a beer

and then you swore you blacked out

Percy literally had to carry you on his back to get home

you were like a big giggly baby; he had to change your clothes and wipe off your makeup for you

Percy was so amused as your hands were a little too grabby that night

it took a while for you to settle down, but when you did, you cuddled into his side and told him "i love you" for the 100th time before you were out like a light

Annabeth and Grover are literally at your place all the time

you and Percy have woken up to them making breakfast in the kitchen or sitting on your couch and eating all the snacks in the house

they barge into your apartment so often that Percy lowkey regrets giving them the spare keys LMFAO

it's not just Annabeth and Grover either

Percy's place is where all your friends and his friends go to hang out, so you and Percy have had a lot of practice being the hosts of small get-togethers

you, Annabeth, and Piper would have sleepovers sometimes and kick Percy out, LMFAO

he had to sleep in Grover's dorm on those nights because you three demanded that there were no s/o's allowed 😤

every December, you guys throw a secret Santa party for you and your friends

you have the cutest picture of you, Percy, and your friends all squished up on your couch on new years eve, and all of you guys wore silly hats and glasses

Leo was laid across everyone's lap with big glasses, pointing a finger gun at the camera. The Stoll brothers were standing behind the couch. Connor puts two fingers behind Annabeth's head, giving her bunny ears, while Travis does the same to Piper, who's still on her right. On Annabeth's left are Rachel and Nico. Nico's face is all scrunched as Rachel pinches his cheeks; the boy has a look on his face as if he's trying to hide his smile. Hazel and Frank are sitting on the floor side by side, smiling into the camera. you and Percy are huddled in the corner, you on his lap as you guys squish your cheeks together with happy smiles while Grover is standing behind you guys, halfway biting into a can of soda

it's your favorite picture of all time, and it's always in a frame on display

sometimes Percy gets homesick, so, often for the holidays and the summers, you two head out to new york to see his family for a little

sometimes Estelle heads back with you guys to Cali to spend a couple weeks with her big brother

that's always fun because everyone adores Estelle, and you guys are always going out and making sure she has fun

it's always so cute when they part, Percy promising and comforting a whining Estelle that she can come back next summer or in the spring

for graduation, you guys make matching caps 🥺

graduation was really sentimental for you guys because it was another chapter in your lives that was coming to end

you and Percy have been through so much together, and everything from stressing about finals together to the crazy nights of adventure was so much fun

it felt like for the first time, it sunk in how long you've been together and how sure it was that you'd be in each other's futures :(((

and the two of you were so looking forward to the rest of your lives together, especially since Percy proposed to you at your graduation party <333

[biographydivider]

Spicy ‘n’ Sweet Bookshop Firting Goodness right here

THIS CHAPTER WOULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL I POSTED IT AND I NEED TO WORK ON MY NOVEL SO HAVE SOME FLUSTERED PANCITA-HAVING BRUNO OKAY GOODBYE

(the beginning of the story is here)

"Now stay on your stool," Tia Julieta warned, pointing the wooden spoon in his direction. "This pot is really, really hot, and I don't want to burn you."

…

                Antonio sat still as a statue, watching his tia stirring the pot of thick, delicious, sweet-smelling arequipe. The smell was one of his favourite things in the world. "Did you know," he asked her, "that I really, really like arequipe?"

                "I know you do, mi vida," Julieta laughed, tossing in a stick of cinnamon. "But this isn't for us. I'm going to make up a jar for Estelle; she told me the other day she loves anything with caramel." She turned away from the pot for just a second and winked. "But she's never had arequipe the Madrigal way before, has she?"

                Antonio shook his head, curls bobbing.

               “So tomorrow, when it’s nice and cool, I need someone to take this jar to the bookshop for me while I work my clinic in town. Maybe I could ask Dolores? Hm, or maybe Mirabel is free…” For a while, as Tia Julieta chatted about nothing, Antonio just sat there quietly; listening to the scrape of the spoon on the bottom of the pan, the spit and bubble of the arequipe caramelising. Then, he said;

               “Señorita Estelle is nice, isn’t she?”

               “I think she’s very nice.” Tia Julieta reached over for her special box of sugar and sprinkled a little into the pot. “She’s been very good to you and your Prima Mirabel, hasn’t she?”

               “Mm-hmm.”   

               Somewhere outside, Antonio could hear Prima Isabela and Camilo arguing. As usual.

               “Hey, Tia?”

               “Antonio?”

               “Why do you like giving food as presents?”

               “Well,” Tia Julieta said, “I like seeing people happy.”

               “An’ you like seeing us happy ‘coz you love us, right?”

               “That’s right. I love you and your brother and sister and primas very much –”

             “And Tio Agustín?”

               Tia Julieta smiled at him, tilting her head quizzically. “…yes, and your Tio Agustín.”

               “He gets a lot of your food presents, doesn’t he?”

               Tia Julieta laughed. “He does. He needs them.”

               “’coz he needs to know how much you love him, right?”

               “Well, that’s partly why.”

               Antonio nodded to himself, thinking very hard. “Hey, Tia Julieta? Can I get down, please?”

               “If you go slowly, and don’t run out of my kitchen.”

               “Okay.”

               Antonio slipped carefully off his stool, taking about thirty seconds to hit the floor. He crept slowly out of the room, keeping an eye on the bubbling pot the entire time, until he crossed the threshold into the hall. Then, he bolted up the staircase, yelling…

…

               “TIO BRUUUUUNNOOOOO!

               “Antonio! Inside voice, please!”

               “Sorry, Mamá. Tio Bruuuunoo….”

               “I’m outside anyways, kiddo.”

               "Okay I'm on my way!"

               Bruno had been trying to meditate a little. He was trying to get into the habit of doing it once a day, even just for five minutes. It helped. And he was feeling less, um, jumpy than he had. But, clearly, that time had come to an end. Instead, he flopped onto his back and prepared himself for the sobrino-tackle coming his way. Sure enough, Antonio fell on his stomach, making him wheeze.

               “Oof. Thanks for that, kid.”

               “Tia Julieta says you gotta go into town tomorrow.”

               “Oh she does, does she?”

               Bruno sat up, dislodging Antonio. “Well, maybe I’m busy tomorrow. Your tia doesn’t know about everything I do.”

               “What’re you doing tomorrow?”

               “Oh, well.” Bruno counted off the list on his fingers. “I gotta clean the rats’ dens out, gotta do my morning stretches, deep-condition my hair – y’don’t get these sultry locks naturally, y’know…”

               He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “After that? Yeah, I could go to town. Why?”

               Rule number one of dealing with a Madrigal; Bruno thought to himself the next day, standing outside Nettle & Daisy, clutching a jar of arequipe and his last frayed nerve, always make sure you know what you’re signing up for.

               Juli had seemed really pleased that he agreed to venture into town with her gift for Estelle. Really pleased. Some would say almost surprised. He wasn’t that much of a hermit, right? That his sister would be shocked he’d agree to help her out while she healed, like, the entire town? But then, he supposed he’d agreed before he knew exactly who this present was for.

               He stared at the door for a good thirty seconds. His hand twitched. He didn’t need to do it. Why would he need to do it? Just dropping off a package. No luck needed, right? Calm down, Bruno. Just open the door. It isn’t a big deal. It isn’t. Just do it. Do it. Do it do it do it do it –    

              The knot of anxiety in his stomach tightened. Was he really breathing that hard? His right knee was bouncing, that was never a good sign, why was he so nervous, she –

               Nope. He needed to.

               “Knock knock knock knock knock, knock on wood,” Bruno whispered to himself, shoving the jar under one arm, tapping the doorframe, bopping himself on the head and taking in a massive breath seconds before the door opened.

…

               Was…was someone knocking on her shop door?

               Estelle stuck her head out the open doorway of her stockroom-slash-kitchen to see a certain familiar, fluffy-haired silhouette just…standing there. Not coming in.

               You’re cute, Bruno Madrigal. But you’re definitely strange.

               So we officially think he’s cute?

               Shut up, brain.

               Estelle crossed the shop and opened the door to see Bruno standing there, fingers crossed beside his head, his cheeks puffed out, his eyes bugging.

               “…what are you doing?”

               The air escaped Bruno in a sound not unlike a balloon deflating. Estelle didn’t entirely know what was happening, so she said nothing and waited for the situation to explain itself.

               It didn’t.

               “I…” Bruno juggled a huge, glass jar from under his arm and held it out to Estelle like it might explode. “Julieta, m-my sister? She…this is for you, apparently.”

               “Oooh!” Estelle said, snatching up the jar, “is this arequipe? Oh, she’s such a sweetheart, I didn’t mean she had to make me some…”

               “Oh, well, heh, you don’t have to try hard to persuade my sister to, y’know, cook something.”

               Estelle read the little note tied to the lid with a smile; ‘To Estelle; for those days when you need a little pick-me-up. Julieta x.’ She knew all about Julieta’s gift; one of the first things she’d been told to do by Alma was to call on her oldest daughter any time she felt under the weather. She wasn’t about to do that – suffering stoically was The English Way, after all – but a lovely big jar of caramelly goodness wasn’t going to be turned down in the Nettle & Daisy. All the best bookshops ran on a healthy supply of sugar, after all.

               “So,” she asked, turning back to Bruno as he trailed after her into the shop, “how do you guys eat arequipe up at La Casa Madrigal? Oooh, it smells so cinnamon-y!”

               “Oh, I mean…” Bruno fidgeted with the spinner by the door, turning it this way and that with one finger. “Well, Juli puts it on cakes, sometimes. We eat it with fruit, on toast…” One of the books flew out and he caught it with a fumble, shoving it back in place with an awkward grin that made Estelle’s stomach flip. “I sometimes catch the kids just eating it with a spoon, heh.”

               Estelle paused. She looked down at the jar. She looked back at the open door of her stockroom.

               “Be right back.”

               “Wha – Estelle?”

               “Mind the shop.”

               “What?!”

                Estelle ran into the back, a huge, silly grin splitting her face. She used to do this all the time with her Aunt Daisy; sneak into the larder, find a jar of the sweetest, stickiest, loveliest stuff and just eat the whole thing with two spoons and zero guilt. Mother would go ballistic when she found out. But Mother wasn’t here.

               She set the jar down on the counter, uncrewed the lid and sent it flying into the sink, clanging against her morning teacup. She dug around in a drawer until she found a teaspoon, sunk it into the arequipe, and –

…

               She. Licked. The. Arequipe. Off. The. Spoon. With her tongue.

               Everything suddenly went white-hot; Bruno’s chest felt like someone had put it in a vice and the only sound he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears and a voice in his head saying ‘Yep. That’s it. You’re a lost cause, Madrigal. You’re gonna be thinking about that every time you close your eyes for the rest of your life.’

               Estelle sighed happily, head tipped back just slightly, eyes closed, free hand on her chest. “Ohmigosh, that is so good. That is literally the best thing ever. Mmm.”

               Bruno swallowed hard. Knocking on wood had either given him the best luck ever, or the worst. He’d work out which later.

               You know if you kissed her right now she’d taste sweet, yeah?

               Ay, Dios – stop that.

               Hey, was it suddenly really, really warm in here?!

“That was such a good idea, Bruno,” Estelle said, fishing around in the sink for the lid. “I’ll try it on toast in the morning; though I suppose I’ll have a sugar crash by…eleven…”

               Over by her till, Bruno was wrestling with his ruana. Like basically everything that had happened in the past five minutes, she had no idea why. It was already over his head, and as he pulled on the hem Estelle caught sight of more of that maroon undershirt he wore. Only this time, it was the ends of the shirt being pulled up by the ruana as Bruno struggled with it.

               He was skinny, but not quite as skeletal as she’d feared. There was a rounded softness to his belly, the barest hint of a curve, with a light dappling of stretchmarks moving down his hips. Before she could stop herself, Estelle imagined exactly what they’d feel like under her palms as she pressed her hands against those hips. The rest was smooth, warm skin, only interrupted by a trail of dark hair leading from his belly button to…to, um…

               Oh.       

               Estelle was suddenly really, really glad no-one else was in the shop. If seeing his collarbone had flooded her mind with thoughts of lips and skin and breath, this was something more akin to a dam breaking. This powerful rush of feeling that was probably going to drown her. She stood no chance at all. And he had no idea.

               In the same second that Estelle finally realised that she had a huge, raging crush on a customer, Bruno wrenched his ruana over his head. It landed in a puddle at his feet, and he straightened; hair flying, eyes wide, lips slightly parted. His face was flushed redder than she’d ever seen it – from wrestling with his ruana, she supposed – and it was the stupidest, cutest, prettiest thing she’d ever seen.

               The two stared at each other across the bookshop. Estelle took one tiny step forward. The bell above the door jingled.

               “Estelle! I’m just wondering if there’s any word on Kingmaker, Volume Seven…? Oh, hi Bruno.”

               Bruno didn’t turn to acknowledge Osvaldo. Didn’t actually take his eyes off Estelle. “I should…go,” he said, in a low, quiet voice.

               Please don’t.

               “…okay,” she breathed.

               Bruno stooped to pick up the ruana, took two small steps backwards, the green mass of material bunched up in his arms. Then, he bolted.

               “So,” Osvaldo said to Estelle, as she watched Bruno leave with a sinking feeling in her chest, “have you heard anything about –”

               “Fantasy’s in the corner, Osvaldo. That’s all I’ve got. I’m just going in the back to…”

               Binge-eat more arequipe and think about my life choices?

               “To, um, book in some stock. Shout if you need me. Please don’t need me, though.”

[duxpuella]

Headcanons of Todd A. comforting (fem!) reader with low selfsteem

<Atention: Modern AU where Neil lives, and Welton’s a boys & girls school.

Warnings: Fluff, Tad of Angst; >

Note: Y/n - your name/ Y/Ln - your last name/ Y/nn - you nickname/ Y/fn - your friend’s name; I hope you find comfort on this piece :)

Requested by: @laraocoileain1995

Also, here’s my Todd playlist, hope you enjoy it!

font;

Todd had been dating you for a while, and everything was going perfectly fine so far. At least that was what he was thinking while walking to his dorm room only to see you crying.

His first thought was "what did I do wrong?". But once he shook out the fear, the boy walked towards you and sited by your side.

"(Y/Nn)? Are you okay?" he immediately mentally face palmed himself. You clearly weren't okay. You were crying. "Do you want to talk about it?" he proceeded as his hand gently petted your hair.

You took your time calming yourself and told him about how you tried some piece of clothing, and it didn't look how you wanted to. And then how that made you spiraling to your insecurities towards your body.

He knows what it's like to have insecurities rooting your brain. He had his own couple of insecurities keeping him up at night.

Todd listened carefully to your vent. Once you finished, he pulled you closer as he set some music in the background. He lay down and brought you near his chest, caressing your back.

After a while, he looked into your eyes and say calmly, "These... things, these insecurities, they will rot your brain. They will corrode it until you're so caught up on it to the point where it becomes your entire reality. And I wish that there was some magical advice or word I could say that would make them go away completely, but there's no such thing. But I can, and will, say that I will love you no matter what. I will love you, and this pretty brain of yours, no matter what or when." he used a thumb to dry out a tear on your cheek. "You see, (Y/Nn), you're stuck with me. I want to be here to dry your tears and take care of you. I want to be your safe harbor, and I'm glad you saw me as one today."

As your face started to get teary again, the boy got worried about what he had said wrong. He got nervous, "I-i'm sorry if that was in-" "I love you." he blushed hard, "I-uh, you're crying...?" "It's from happiness, silly..." you said burying your face on his chest and giving a half-smile. "Oh... nice," said himself, giggling.

After that, he made sure to bring you snacks and cuddle you while you both watch a light episode of Steven Universe ('cause, according to Todd, "No one teaches better self-acceptance than the Crystal Gems.").

Most specifically, 'Mindful Education' (season 4, episode 4), and you get him to sing 'Here Comes a Thought' to you :D

Hope you like it! I take requests by ask! (info on requests);

Also, you’ll find more of my writing here.

[upontherisers]

cari!! :D 🔥+👯‍♀️ for whoever you’d like to talk about!

🔥 for a dislikes headcanon

Lillian hated the clutter. She watched in horror as the men went to and fro, grabbing individual items from piles and shoving them in their packs without any rhyme or reason. There had to be a better way to do this. They were the goddamn U.S. Army, for Christ's sake.

Is there anything we can do about this? she asked the supply sergeants standing by her at the edge of the hangar serving as their supply depot. She winced as she watched Gordon grab more Lucky Strikes than he had bullets for his .30 cal, extra packs falling off the pile and sliding onto the floor.

One of the supply sergeants shook his head. No, ma'am. We just gotta make sure everything's passed out. They're supposed to get what they need by themsel—

She waved him off, having heard enough. She barely trusted these guys to not steal from each other during field exercises. This was a mad house. First and second platoon seemed to have handled their supply pick up just fine, but of course, third had a mess. But lucky for them, she was a cleaner. She called for them to stop moving, and went to work.

👯 for a friendship headcanon

It took Estelle until January to realize why Eugene had told her not to make friends. She’d ignored him when she first arrived with her fellow replacements, her red and white medic’s band unblemished and clean around her arm. Then she saw Holland and death, her soldiers dying and their blood on her hands. She only held on tighter to the ones she had left—Les, Tony, Flo, Babe, etc.—and walked into the Belgian woods hoping to prove Eugene wrong, hoping to show him that having friends wasn’t a mistake, that you needed people to survive.

And then they lost and lost and lost. Les, John, Hoob, Smokey, Joe, Bill, and on. But it wasn’t them who made her heed Eugene’s warning. It was her job to help those men—some of whom were her friends—and sometimes she succeeded, and sometimes she failed. It hurt to see them go, but she continued.

What made her realize the danger of letting people get close was the sight of a frozen Donald Malarkey trudging his way toward the ramshackle aid station in the rear, about to tell his best friend that the other two were gone, that the two nights she had to spend by the CP had spared her life but cost Skip and Alex theirs. Estelle paused restocking her kit to watch the sergeant walk by, a knot roiling in her stomach as she tracked him in the snow.

Eugene nudged her from where he was packing bandages on her right, his voice mixing with the low murmurs of the CP around them. I told you so.

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

Forbidden, Part 4

MASTERLIST

[1] [2] [3]

Character pairing: Thorin x Fem!Dwarrowdame!OC Thorin x Estel

Rating: E

Word count: 1,625

Warnings: Still some insinuations of smut. Swearing, (like a lot) and someone collapsing.

Translations: Afsêl mê: Fuck you

Ishkh khakfê: I shit upon

Damâm Mebelkhagâs: Bloody Elves (derogatory)

Kuf: Why

~~~~

The next few days found me holed up within my chambers, curled up in an armchair with a soft blanket wrapped around me like a cocoon. I couldn’t remove the image of Thorin’s pale face from my mind, nor could I drown out his raspy voice as it replayed over and over.

I felt so guilty that my actions had caused Thorin such harm. I could no longer convince myself that what I had done was for the best. Not when I saw the outcome.

Yet, I couldn’t go back either. I had lost Thorin’s love the moment I had walked out of his chambers that day. In his words, I had betrayed him.

I pulled the quilt tighter around me as I stared sullenly into the flames dancing in my hearth. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t get Thorin out of my mind. He was always—

My door swung open and hit the wall with a thump. My head snapped to look over at the intruder and, well, speak of the devil himself.

Thorin Oakenshield himself was inside my chambers, looking just as horrible as he had when I’d last seen him. Catching sight of me in my blanket cocoon, he hurried over to me with a worried look on his face.

“Estel, what’s wrong?” He asked in a low rasp, and I shot him a confused look. Getting out of my chair I put it between him and I.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I replied warily. Unconsciously, I began studying his face; taking in his unkempt hair and the lines cutting across his forehead. I couldn’t remember Thorin ever neglecting his mane of hair, even on the Quest.

Nor had I ever neglected it when I…

Realizing how far my thoughts had wandered, I reined them back in, quickly turning my gaze away from Thorin and back to my door. Which, oddly enough, was swinging closed.

“Wait—” I called out, hurrying around my chair towards the door, panic spawning in the depths of my stomach.

The door shut with a thud just as I reached it. I turned the knob with the intent of opening it, only to find it wouldn’t budge. I could vaguely make out the sounds of quiet laughter on the other side. “Open my door this instant!” I yelled to no avail.

“Not until ye’ve kissed and made up!” Dwalin called back, and I gritted my teeth.

“Dwalin! Open up the door right now or I swear I’ll—”

“What is going on?”

Thorin was right beside me. So close I could almost feel his arm brush against mine.

Mahal, this was dangerous. My self-control was so fragile.

“Dwalin’s blocked the door. He wants us to,” I made air quotes, “kiss and make up.”

Storm clouds gathered on Thorin’s face and he glared at the door like it was Azog himself. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to them…” He muttered, and I shot him a look.

“Thorin, how does he know about us?”

My words were quiet, but they stopped Thorin in his tracks as he started towards the door. “What did you say?” He asked, turning to look at me.

“How does Dwalin know about our past relationship?” I repeated, putting the emphasis on ‘past’. “We never told anybody.”

A flush rose up Thorin’s neck and disappeared beneath the dark hair of his beard. “Well, about that…” He muttered, and I raised an eyebrow.

“Thorin, why did you tell them?”

“I didn’t do it willingly, Estel. They brought me down—”

I cut Thorin off. “Okay, who is ‘they’?”

“Balin and Dwalin. They brought me down to the pub for a few drinks.” Thorin paused, looking vaguely sheepish. “I do believe I got quite drunk and told them everything.” He finished quietly, and I turned away from him, throwing my hands up in the air. Irresponsible dwarrows!

“So they are bound and determined to get us back together then? Which, speaking of that, why are you even in my rooms in the first place?”

I looked over my shoulder at the obsidian-haired dwarf. He stared back, unashamed. “Dwalin told me you were ill and refused to go see a healer,” he replied.

“So you came to force me to see one?” I questioned, and Thorin finally looked away from me.

“Of course… I couldn’t just ignore…” He trailed off as if realizing his thoughts were wandering.

I bit my bottom lip as his words sank in. After everything I had done to him; after all the pain I’d caused this warrior king, he still dropped everything to rush to my side when I was (supposedly) ill.

“Ah don’t hear the both of ye getting on with it, what’s the problem?” Dwalin’s loud voice came suddenly through the door to break the moment.

Thorin marched up to the door, glowering at it. “DWALIN!” He bellowed, “open the door this instant or I will—”

Dwalin’s laughter stopped Thorin’s angry rant. “Ye’ll be singin’ a dif’rent tune once ye and the lass bed down.”

Thorin’s face grew scarlet and he threw his shoulder into the door to no avail. The wood was quite sturdy, just like the dwarves that had crafted it. “Afsêl mê Dwalin… Ishkh khakfê--”

I cleared my throat, stopping Thorin’s tirade of foul words. “I don’t think cussing Dwalin out is going to get us anywhere.” I pointed out, and Thorin shot me a narrow-eyed look, chest heaving from his exertion. I found it odd that he was already winded after only one go, but brushed the thought aside.

“Then what is your suggestion to get him to let us out? Follow through with his plan?” Thorin’s voice turned sarcastic.

I returned his glare. “No, I was thinking more along the lines of civil negotiation. I have no intention of taking you to my bed.”

Hurt flickered in Thorin’s eyes for the barest instant as I spoke. “Of course not. All of that is behind us.” He muttered, squaring his shoulders.

“Correct, Thorin. It is behind us. Lady Erusa or Lady Ashaki or several other dames are quite taken with you though. I would be more than happy if you pursued one and settled down.” I forced out, pulling a tight smile.

“Mahal, you sound like my sister…” Thorin rolled his eyes. “Would you though?” Thorin’s voice went low. “You would like for me to find another woman to warm my bed?”

I clenched my teeth against the wave of jealousy that poured over me. “Yes, Thorin. I would like nothing more than to see you settle down with a nice dame and start a family.”

It did not matter that such a thing was exactly what I’d always envisioned with him. In my youth, I’d fantasized about starting a family with a boy I fancied, but it was only once I met Thorin that the men actually had faces—his. I could not see such a future for myself without him.

“You are really starting to sound like Dís, Estel.” Thorin watched me cautiously, his jaw set. “But I cannot. When we dwarves love, we stay true to that person. There never will be anyone beside you, Estel. You are my One, I am sure of it.”

So was I. I knew that fact with more certainty than I knew my own name.

But I couldn’t say that. “Allow it some more time, Thorin. I’m sure someone else will catch your eye in time.”

“You don’t understand, woman…” Thorin growled, but didn’t continue the argument I knew he wanted to make. Instead, he shook his head, focusing his anger at the door.

He threw his shoulder into it again, shaking it on its hinges. He muttered under his breath as he repeated the action over and over, his chest heaving beneath his ill-fitting tunic. The fabric was loose—too loose—around his frame, a detail I only noticed now.

“Damâm Mebelkhagâs…” He gasped out as he threw himself against the door again. “Kuf—” He lacked the breath to go on further as the blood drained from his face. His knees gave out and he slumped against the wood, sliding down to the ground.

“Thorin?” A note of panic entered my voice as I stepped towards him. It was so odd for him to act this way. “Thorin?”

I received no response, and I hurried to kneel beside him, brushing the tangled strands of hair out of his face so I could get a good look at him.

His eyes were closed and his facial muscles relaxed. I called his name again, but still got no response. Adrenaline was beginning to course through my body at this point, and I shook his shoulder. Like that would do anything after he’d failed to respond to his name.

When even that failed, I really began to worry. “Dwalin!” I called, “open the door!”

“Nay, lass. On my honour as Thorin’s friend, I canna do tha’.” He answered, exacerbating my exasperation.

“Dwalin, Thorin’s passed out or something, he just collapsed and I can’t wake him!” I pleaded, and instantly, I heard something heavy scraping against the door before it began to open. “Easy, he’s still on the door.” I cautioned, and Dwalin eased the door open wide enough so he could slip through.

He crouched beside Thorin’s motionless form, taking in the sweat beaded on his pale face. “Mahal, ah knew this would catch up te him…” He muttered, “run for a healer, lass and be quick.”

I was too stunned and worried to put up a fight. After all, I still loved the dwarrow lying so still on my floor and deep down, I desperately wanted the future he had painted for me in the darkness as we lay together.

Just, nobody could know.

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