#too much thinking about my brain being a dick on multiple levels and feeling spread thin among my friends and worn out socially and also now

[pentanguine]

The next time I’m tempted to have a robust social life, someone remind me: DON’T

[miss-choco-chips]

From Baby to Babe~

I once wrote this  https://miss-choco-chips.tumblr.com/post/190983954737/theres-a-point-in-all-the-rouges-gallerys-lives and @theturdis wanted a fic about it, so... Just remember, you asked for this hon. This ain’t my fault.

Tagging @animemangasoul who just told me to tag them the next time I wrote something. 

Fair warning everyone, I somehow did this in one sitting, and, I can’t stress this enough, there’s no edit whatsoever. Like, none. Enjoy, if you can ignore the eyesore of my multiple mistakes.

----.----

Bruce despairs in the knowledge of his sons growing up hot.

---.---

When Dick came back to Gotham as the new Nightwing for the first time ever… well. 

Bruce didn't like to think about the first suit, back then. All those feathers and glitter, the plunging V neck, the mullet… His son had insisted on it being the trend at the time. Bruce just couldn't grasp how was he supposed to blend into the night and take anyone by surprise. There was too much... everything, and not nearly enough stealth.

He was an innocent man, back then. He looked at a horse gift in the mouth and was completely blindsided when it raised on it’s hind legs and kicked him where it hurted.

When Selina approached him a few weeks after N had come to him with the blueprints of his new suit, he had been quiet relaxed. Or as relaxed as one can be when crouched like a gargoyle and looking over the city. He was just getting back on track after… Jason (it still hurted, and probably always would, to think about him), his new partner helping in ways he couldn’t foresee, violence tampered by Tim’s brilliant smile every time he came to Bruce with the answer to a particularly difficult riddle he had been having trouble with. He had to get his act together, because Tim was so bright, mind so beyond what Bruce could ever aspire to, and he was at such an impressionable age… If Batman allowed himself to fall deeper into despair, he would set a dangerously bad example to the kid, which could be really damaging… to the world at large. He was the kind of kid that B wanted on the side of Justice, because the opposite would be quite catastrophic.

So yes, he had been very distracted lately, merely glancing over Dick’s blueprints, noticing the lack of brilliantine and gold, and giving his wholehearted approval. 

Stupid, innocent man he was. He had needed Catwoman of all people to open his eyes.

(To this day, he still wondered about Alfred’s reason for not warning him sooner. Perhaps, and this was the theory he had running, the old butler had been just so delighted at seeing the Disco suit gone, he would approve almost everything in its place, and Dick’s virtue had never been his responsibility to preserve, so to hell with it.

Betrayal always hurted the worse when it came from those closest to you)

-Hey handsome.

-Cat.

She rolled her eyes, already beyond his brood, and just walked out of the light, joining him into the shadows with a sigh at his dramatics. 

-No theft today?

The woman grimaced a bit, letting herself fall at his side with as much grace as she did everything else. Diamond claws scratched at her scalp, carefully not tearing the frail skin, and Batman finally conceded and turned his head to look at her directly. She was never so hesitant.

-Look. I really, really don’t want to be the one telling you this. I would literally rather leave this to anyone else, but… it’s getting out of hand.

-What is it?

-Nightwing. Hadn’t you noticed anything about him?

That got whatever rest of his attention she hadn’t already caught. Speaking of his sons always had that effect on him.

-What happened to him?

-Nothing, just… He’s been out a lot, hasn’t he? I thought he didn’t operate in the city as much…

She was stalling, which was worryingly out of character for Selina. But since this was about Nightwing, he had to be patient and let her talk her way into whatever information she was going to lay on him.

-I’ve been… -training a new Robin, not that he could tell her that- busy, lately. He’s picking up the slack while I’m focusing on it -a.k.a helping him both patrol the streets and teach Tim. 

-I noticed the changes, yes, whatever therapy you’re doing is great for you -she encouraged, more honest than he thought her capable of. He could already see her deadpan when she figured out the reason for his change, his ‘therapy’ as she put it, was an eleven year old thrusting himself at this dangerous life of his.

-Hm.

-Well… Anything noteworthy about him lately? Crime Fighting related?

Since she was stressing the words so much, he gave them deep thought.

-He has been on a streak lately. A lot more arrests… What’s your point?

He could almost see the second she internally said ‘fuck it’ and just blurted everything out.

-That’s because his new suit is, and this is coming from me, B, indecent, and every criminal out there is focusing more on his ass than his punches and flips so he’s kicking ass easier.

Bruce kicked his way to the forefront of his mind, the father in him hip checking the vigilante out of the way so he could properly freak out.

What? He knew the suit was a lot more tight than the former one, but he’d been so relieved at it being mostly black he hadn’t given more than a cursory look… and he barely saw the man in it, often training together in workout clothes and coming and going to patrol at different times. He… wasn’t prepared for this.

-Excuse me?

-I’m sorry, someone had to tell you. Normally, I’d be completely on board with a suit change from boring to daring, and you know of my good relationship with leather, but I’ve literally seen that kid grow up. If I have to listen to Harley talking about Nightwing’s ass one more time, Ivy won’t need to worry any more about the Joker killing her, because I will do it myself.

He wanted to thank her for standing up for his son, but he was still busy internally screaming.

-You want to hear Riddle’s last work? While looking directly at N, he asked ‘is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them?’. And then he winked. Winked, B. At your eighteen year old kid. You need to get your ass on gear and make sure Nighting changes his. I mean, I’m getting used to it, but you’ve been doing great lately, violent wise, and I’d hate for you to relapse because you heard Zsaasz asking N to tie his ropes tighter and harder.

B… needed to go back to the cave and call N back early. They had to talk.

----.----

When Jason came back, the first thing to break past the ‘holy shit my son is alive’ wall surrounding his brain was just how tall he had grown. How strong, how broad, how big. The little boy he had picked up from the street, underfeed and hurting everywhere, had turned out almost bigger than B himself and twice as brave. The wave of pride he felt was massive, but the feeling was short lived. 

Jason was killing criminals, had even attempted to murder Tim. Even if the father in him could, in his desperation, try and overlook the first bit, the same side couldn’t get past the second. Tim was as much his as Jason, and he couldn't turn a blind eye to it.

The relief of him being back that overflowed from Bruce clashed horribly with Batman’s unbending morals, and the two sides warred for days for control. The attack on his youngest son had been the deciding factor in who finally won; Bruce couldn’t fight the darkness in him when he needed it to help protect Robin from his predecessor, as much as it pained him.

Theirs was a long road, a difficult path to come back together as a family after so many mistakes on both parts (more his than Jason’s, he knew, but admitting so was so hard…), but they had finally, finally came back together. All his children, sitting around the dinning table at the manor, throwing food at each other behind Alfred’s back, Dick failing to give Jason a noogie, Tim succeeding in elbowing his way past both of them to claim first picks over the brownies, Damian rolling his eyes while sneakily drawing in his notebook what B suspected was a portrait of the three of them, Cass and Steph laughing at their antics… His heart felt like it could give out.

Again, his mind was anywhere but in… that. Already used to the dirty looks aimed at Nighting, he focused his anger into strength behind every punch, taking care to kick specially hard when aiming at the criminal’s genitals as light punishment for the lust they aimed at his oldest, but not longer trying to essentially castrate them.

He had the hang of it, and it was just one child. He could do damage control with one, it wasn’t that hard. Stephanie wasn’t really his, just under his protection as a mentor, and even then, she was mostly Barbara’s; Cass could and would take care of anyone who dared look at her in a way she didn’t like, so she was also good. Seventeen year old Tim and thirteen year old Damian were babies, so they wouldn't be an issue for a long, long time.

And then. And then, Steph had opened her mouth.

-Why can’t Tim do this? -she had whined, raising the heels to eye level and studying them with profound distaste- I hate fighting on these. He’s much better than me at that anyway, and he makes a hotter chick than I when he goes full out on his undercover gig.

Red Robin, who was walking past her on his way to the training mats, high fived her.

Barbara’s voice came from the Batcomputer, Oracle’s voice filter not needed while they still were on the Cave.

-Because he and Jason can’t act like a couple for more than two hours before one of them breaks into hives or laughter, and this is an all night long gig. 

-Then why can’t Tim and Dick go? You just need a girl as pretty arm candy distaction, the guy is the one who’s gonna do the work, and Nightwing can take care of a few drug dealers himself.

-While Dick is certainly pretty enough to gain permission to enter this very private party -the man, stretching with Tim, stopped mid motion to give the computer finger guns. Barbara coughed to cover a laugh and kept going-, the goal is for him to be invited into the boss’s personal office, and we can only do that if he’s interested in what he sees. From what Tim gathered for me on his last recon, he favours… Jason’s body types more than Dick’s.

Bruce, who was just getting out of the locker room, suit fully in place except from the cowl, raised an eyebrow at that, stopping to analyze his second oldest. Tilting his head, and still as confused, he asked what would undoubtedly bring him an unhealthy amount of regret in the very near future.

-What does that mean? Jason’s...body type? You mean tall? Dick is also pretty tall.

There was total silence in the cave for a few moments. Dick and Tim got up from their positions, shared a look, and made a run for the showers, claiming they were ready for patrol (they weren’t, not warmed up enough, but he had other things to focus on now). Damian, already fully suited, tutted and dragged the hood of his cape over his face, almost completely covering it. Cass looked on impassively, and Stephanie seemed to be getting a worryingly amount of glee from whatever this was.

Jason himself was… blushing? What?

-Who’s gonna tell him? -finally asked Barbara, amusement breaking her professional facade.

-Oh, me, me! Let me do this!

Apparently still a naive man, he nodded at the blonde, ready for someone to clear this up for him.

He was regaled with a half an hour long rant about biceps, pecs, and thighs that could compete against tree trunks and win. It was supported by apparent citations from different criminals that ranged from appreciative to full on scandalous.

In the end, everyone left the cave, Batgirl with a notorious spring on her step, and Bruce had to stay home instead of going out, needing the night to fully process about his second son, almost twenty one but twelve in his mind’s eye, apparently featuring in multiple Arkham calendars. 

He came out of that realization a scarred man, to say the least.

-----.-----

It was barely a few months after his traumatic chat with Stephanie when it happened again. He’d like to say he was ready for this.

He wasn’t.

When Conner Kent found him, he was completely focused on his WE’s work. For once on the office, with the TV providing some white noise in the background, he was fully prepared for a day catching up. He couldn’t keep letting Tim take over most of the work, the kid deserved to have a normal (or as normal as any of them could achieve) teenage life.

He was of course notified the moment the meta breached the city’s limits, but figured he was here on Titan’s business or hanging out with Tim. The light knock on his office window was a big surprise.

-This is unexpected, Conner. What can I do for you? -he greeted after letting him in- Tim isn’t here today, he’s giving a press conference.

-Yeah, I know. I’m actually here for you. We, the team, heard from Tim you’re making the blueprints for his next suit.

This conversation was already going in a very confusing way. Why did they care about Tim’s gear?

-Yes?

-Well, you need to double check with us before you show anything to him -something akin to indignant surprise must have shown in his face, because the meta quickly raised both hands-. We don’t mean that as you needing our approval, of course you’d know better how to keep a non-meta well protected. We know jackshit about kevlar and armor. But it’s the… style, that has us worried.

He let the anger bleed out of him, replaced with puzzlement.

-What do you mean?

Conner looked down, as if gathering strength, then up and straight into Bruce’s eyes, a feat very few younger heroes could achieve. This was serious.

-Tim isn’t big like Jason, or as… stretchy as Dick, but he has… very, very attractive features. I won’t go into detail with you about how thin his waist is, how shapely his legs or cute his ass. That’s not something I need to say or you to hear.

Yes, it definitely wasn’t. Bruce was having an inkling as to where this was headed, and he didn’t like it. Tim was a baby! Barely eighteen and so damn small!

-But I do need to tell you, his ugly ass suits have been good at keeping that all on the downlow. We made fun of him for them, sure, but never encouraged him to change, because we know what will happen if he does. It would be awful. You think Nightwing and Red Hood have it rough? Tim has Ra’s Al Ghul’s undivided attention and appreciation. If we add attraction to it? Mayhem. Absolute mayhem. We can barely keep him from being kidnapped by older, nasty villains as it is. We don’t need the extra work, sir. I’m begging you on behalf of the team, don’t let him get anything that would look good on him. Like that Untranet suit he told me about, for example. That one would be so bad. Or the Red Robin one with tighter pants and a domino under the cowl so he can take it out and flash the world his luscious hair. 

Bruce fell back into his desk chair. Elbows resting on the table, he buried his face into his hands.

A long silence filled the room.

-You already approved and made one of those, right?

A small, shaky nod.

-...The Ultranet one?

A firm shake. 

-Fuck me. The Red Robin with tighter pants and domino?

Another nod. Conner sat abruptly on the empty chair in the other side of the desk, like a puppet with its strings cut.

-Well, fuck. 

Fuck indeed. 

Bruce despaired.

----.----

This time, he would be ready. He swore it on his honor, on his oath, on his parents.

So when Damian turned sixteen, growth spurt kicking in (he towed over Tim, and it wouldn’t be long until he left Dick in the dust as well), he made a thought but necessary call.

He phoned Talia.

-We need to talk. About Damian, and… sex appeal.

Her shock was evident even through the phone.

-Excuse me? My son is a child. He has no such thing.

He closed his eyes. Once, a long time ago, he’d been just as naive. Now he knew better. 

It was a hard lesson to learn, but she needed to. And quickly. Damian was growing faster than his other children. Time was of essence.

-Let me tell you what I wish I knew years ago, when Dick decided to change his Nightwing suit.

She was probably going to hate him for opening her eyes like this, but Bruce just couldn't do this alone. 

He could deal with Talia’s hate, but criminals lusting after his baby son? Hell no. He might actually go rouge.

[where-s-all-blue]

Okay so I've entered the Alabasta Arc now (I am actually pretty close to the climax in my rererewatch) so here's some thoughts:

Reverse Mountain:

I personally adored the mishaps the crew has on their way to the GrandLine, and the entire reverse mountain is very intriguing to me to this day. One day, I'll figure out just how on earth that thing works.

Laboon's story, tear jerking, absolutely devastating. Luffy being able to talk sense into a WHALE tells all you need about his ability to befriend beings. He also was the first one to hear Laboon, foreshadow for his later on found ability to Hear All Things or Haki?

Whiskey Peaks:

Ahh the time Vivi tried to be a villain. And Mister 9 is an absolute sweetheart. Honestly they made a pretty good team even if neither of them actually knew how fighting works. Personally I would've loved to see more of them, Mister 9 and Miss Monday seemed like interesting characters.

I keep forgetting about Zoro having supersonic speed in these, I kind of miss him just disappearing only to reappear right in middle of the group to mock their reaction of looking at the place he just was sitting on. The speed of him and his ability to momentarily cut through things he later on can't pretty much just tells you that he does have it in him, but it just isn't conscious thing yet. Also unconscious usage of haki spotted?

Vivi being The Vivi Nefertari is one of the more interesting and intense sequences in the pre-timeskip era, even if it takes less time than for example the Arlong Park does and shows just how devastatingly strong both Luffy and Zoro are. I can't believe that these idiots would retort to a fist fight mid battle.

Mister 5's ability is very unhygienic and I'd like to drown him in sanitizer, Miss Valentine needs to be silenced forever, her laughter creeps me out and she honestly doesn't add any value into the conversation. This is a duo I'd like to murder slowly.

Igram blowing up still gets me, the reactions of the characters, the devastated facial expression of Vivi, the sound design, the shocked looks, it's just so well executed.

Vivi's reaction of mixed feelings regarding Miss All Sunday/Robin, albeit just, is very confusing for me. I remember when I met her the first time and all I could think of was "She's a nice person" just based on her facial expression and the words she used.

I forgot that Luffy broke the eternal log pose Robin gave them. Not because he didn't trust her but because the choice Vivi would've been forced to make after the shock of loosing Igram would've been too much. Also because he didn't want anyone to dictate HOW they get there, he's the captain and as such it's his job to make the final decision, he also appears to have been convinced that this way Vivi would be safe.

Little Garden:

Aah, Little Garden, the island I'd simultaneously love and hate. Love because dinosaurs, hate because loud and probably insects large enough to use me as a quick caffeine filled pick-me-up. I might have a problem.

The fact that I can understand the thought process of these giants concerns me greatly. Is this the power of the Monkey Brain?

Mister 3 would be an amazing character if only we could see his self proclaimed genius in action and hear him go through plans etc. I feel like he's just trying to compensate on his lack of battlefield knowledge and experience. Miss Golden Week is highkey a mood and I love her. I, too, want to paint whatever I want and get paid for it.

Zoro actually started to hack through his own leg because he wanted to fight so badly, what a mad lad. Usopp honestly is flexing with his quick thinking and reflexes here. We love that for him. Go you funky little sniper.

Luffy might've used observation haki instinctively in the Mister 3 crowd.

Sanji managing to outright fool Crocodile to believe that he is Mister 3 indicates that Crocodile has never heard the voices of his underlings before and just assuming that the man who answered is Mister 3. The two also apparently have similar sense of humour. That Crocodile is aware of based on what Robin has told him.

Sanji both taking down the Unluckies without any hesitation nor stopping to think about where they came from really tells volumes about him. He also apparently lied so convincingly that Crocodile was 100% sure that it was Mister 3 fighting Luffy and not a chef beating up his long distance murder pets.

Nami was bitten by a bug, which was the carrier of a rare, nearly dead disease. Based on the amount of time one would usually need to wait for the sickness to develop, I'd say that they were about a week on the ocean before Nami developed the fever.

None of the crew members, Vivi included, thought about doing a full body check on her to see if there were any other symptoms than fever, ie her body actively fighting against the infection/sickness. Also her sickness isn't apparently something that spreads, so it's very unlikely for it to be virus based or spread similar to flu.

Drum Island/Sakura Kingdom:

Nami is capable of sensing the weather, and act upon her feelings, under 40C fever. If I have any level of fever, I am rendered near vegetative state until my fever either goes down or raises past certain level. What I'm saying is that Nami is some sort of Goddess or superhero because of being able to do anything with that fever.

Vivi needing to think about whether or not she can afford waiting extra days for being taken to Alabasta or to change the course to find a doctor is one of the stupidest things ever especially since the person who is sick with such a high fever happens to be the navigator.

Warm welcome by residents is warm. And by warm I mean freezingly cold. I can't believe that Luffy thought about yelling to the person before Vivi bowed her head prompting Luffy to do the same (though heavily "encouraged" by Vivi). Vivi saying that Luffy isn't fit to be the captain reflects very strongly her own views and beliefs, but she keeps forgetting something very simple, yet important. Background. She has no idea about Luffy's past nor how he grew up, she hasn't been long enough with the crew to be able to tell just why people follow Luffy, nor is she aware of how he communicates with people. She doesn't realise that when it comes to Luffy, humility isn't a word to describe him with nor that he would be able to set his own pride aside just yet, Luffy is a 17 year old, a mere child, who has just set out on the sea few months ago, who only knows the harshness of the world, where to survive, you must take things with force or be aggressive. She also isn't familiar with Luffy's way of helping others and going all in no matter the situation.

It's interesting to see how from the time Vivi is with them, Luffy is clearly paying attention to how she does things and how she presents herself, the mannerisms and the likes. It's not as clear idolisation and wish for being equal/better than someone as it was with Katakuri's use of haki, but he is striving to learn. If not because he acknowledges how important manners and humility are, but because it makes things easier on certain places. He especially starts to pay more attention to it once Ace joins them.

By the way the sickness Nami is struck with? It's most likely the same as the one that cost the life of Captain Yorkie of the Rumbar Pirates. After all, the ship doctor couldn't heal it, he didn't know how to, he could only prolong his death for a little while, few days max.

Chopper is a joy to have around and I'd physically fight Doctor Kureha at first sight because WOMAN! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING YOUR PATIENTS JUST BECAUSE THEY GOT OUT OF THE BED! What if they need to use the restroom. I don't care if you're a youthful 139 year old lady, you can't just do that. Also how the hell are you still able to move that well? Most people I see start to slowly loose their mobility at 60 as their joints are starting to wear out causing pain and their muscle mass is lowering due to the inability to move as much as during their prime.

I am surprised that a reindeer even cares about something like a blue nose. The devilfruit thing? Yeah sure, but not the blue nose. These local reindeer are dicks with human level of obsession to look like the "norm". News flash, there is no default anything. Your appearances are purely dictated by a set of genes that decide to either activate or deactivate as they please without any warning and genes can skip multiple generations. That's why I apparently look identical to my great grandmother.

Nami is kind towards other women and animals. Men not so much, my assumption is that she is carrying a trauma from the Arlong time that she hasn't yet processed and as such she is even now a bit guarded against the rest of the crew.

Hiriluk's character is closer to that of a mad scientist or a very enthusiastic chemist who keeps forgetting that people aren't test subjects. His curiosity and and enthusiasm are something to strive for even if his methods are questionable, all he does want is to bring people sense of hope, wonder and awe. Though I can't help but to wonder about his story. The thief (him) having a serious incurable heart condition and seeing cherry blossoms that cured him. A metaphor for his past self being relentless and uncaring while thieving, but the indescribable beauty of the scenery he saw changed his heart to be more generous and kind?

Hiriluk's death is one of the most important ones in the series if you ask me, it defined Chopper and who he became; Doctor hoping to be capable of curing any disease there is.

[blissedoutphil]

All The Weights In The World

I am sooo so sorry for leaving this in my inbox for so long omg july just has been and is still a v busy time for me. I hope you’re still here to read your request dear anon. Anyway once again, I cant think of a better title lol.

This fic includes a nsfw link so careful when you click on the **!

2581 words of Dom!Phil, sub!dan, bondage, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, degradation and humiliation, cbt, toys, mouth fucking, handjob

or read on ao3!

Dan’s chest was heaving. His whole body was covered in a sheen of his own sweat. All he could hear was his own heavy breathing. He didn’t bother opening his eyes; he could feel Phil’s presence, knew that Phil’s eyes were on him.

Phil patiently waited for his boyfriend to calm down. He watched as Dan fidgeted around, eyes still closed, head bowed down. His boyfriend looked so beautiful like this, naked and willingly submitting to him. Dan’s ankles were tied to a long spreader bar, and his thighs quivered with the slight strain as his legs were spread wider than shoulder length apart. His hands were cuffed to a pole behind him. Phil smirked as Dan lifted his head to rest it against the pole, mouth open as he panted. You really wanna install a stripper pole in our new apartment? he could hear Dan’s sceptical voice. It’ll be your favourite place in the apartment, Phil had promised in response.

Dan had come twice already since they started the scene less than 45 minutes ago. The first was by a vibrator up his ass, pressed right against his prostrate at maximum power. Quick, a warm-up. The second was by the same vibrator pressed against the head of his cock. Phil was relentless, not giving a break after the first orgasm. Dan had screamed in agony, and then in pleasure. The rest of his cock ached to be touched while his reddened tip tried to shy away from the vibrator. It took longer than the first round, but thankfully not long enough to earn a punishment.

Dan finally, slowly opened his eyes. He was greeted by the sight of his boyfriend staring intently at him. Phil was still fully clothed, but his erection was pressing against his jeans almost painfully. Dan swallowed as he noticed that Phil was holding a riding crop. All that before was just a warm up. Now the game really begins.

Phil brought the tip of the riding crop to Dan’s soft dick hanging limply between his spread thighs. He lifted it with the crop, and that was the first form of contact Dan’s length had with anything since they began.

“Did your clit enjoy that?” Phil’s voice was deep, and he watched as Dan’s dick twitched at his words.

Phil tapped Dan’s tip with the crop. “Pretty sure this ain’t big enough to be called a dick,” he mumbled almost too soft for Dan to hear, but Dan’s whimper assured him that his words didn’t fall on deaf ears.

“Cmon, get that little thing hard for me,” Phil muttered before walking away.

Before Dan met Phil, two orgasms were the most he could achieve in a day. But thanks to Phil, Dan could enjoy multiple orgasms now, something he didn’t think he could ever do before. It took a bit of concentration, but he filled his mind with thoughts of what Phil was possibly going to do to him. How he’s all tied up for Phil to use as he pleases. How he’s allowing and trusting Phil to hurt him, use him, provide him pleasure.

He managed to get fully hard again just as Phil returned back to stand in front of him, naked this time. Phil scoffed softly. “That the biggest it can get? A lil pathetic, don’t you think?”

Dan whined, the words and Phil’s voice sending more blood rushing to his dick. He still doesn’t understand why humiliating words about his size turns him on, but when Phil found out, he wasn’t like Dan’s ex who claimed it was weird. Instead, he immediately made use of his new knowledge to help Dan have one of the most mind-blowing orgasms Dan had ever experienced. That day, Dan realised how lucky he was to have Phil.

Phil stroked Dan’s cock gently with the riding crop. “So small...might as well call it a cunt,” Phil commented, and Dan leaked some precum. Phil chuckled, “See, it even gets wet. Like a good cunt.” He hit Dan’s length with the crop with each word of the last sentence spoken.

Dan moaned at each hit, watching helplessly as his dick turned red from the abuse. “Thank you, Sir,” he whispered, of course he remembers to be polite to his Dom.

Phil reached behind Dan and retrieved a silver ring. Dan groaned at the sight of the ball stretcher**.

“Don’t complain, you know you love this,” Phil said lightheartedly as he fixed the weight onto Dan’s balls.

Once fixed, Dan could immediately feel his balls tighten. There were two hooks at opposite sides of the stretcher and Phil gave a tug. Dan let out a high-pitched moan and Phil smirked, clearly happy with his work. He stepped back and Dan sighed, trying to relax. But how wrong Dan was to think Phil was done.

Phil got out two small ball weights, each weighing 200g. “The last time we did this, you managed 600g. Let’s see if we can raise that to 800g tonight,” Phil spoke as he twisted the weights in his fingers.

Dan gulped. The last time they did this, it became more painful than pleasurable when they tried to go heavier than 600g. But he had his safeword if it gets too much, and he trusts Phil more than he trusts himself. “Yes, Sir,” he answered.

The stretcher was already 400g, and it was already pulling on his balls. Phil was stroking his balls softly with the riding crop, and it tickled his sensitive skin there.

Phil kissed Dan sweet and slow, licking into his mouth gently. Dan sighed into the kiss. When Phil pulled away, he looked intensely into Dan’s eyes, a question silently conveyed. Are you ready?

Dan gave his best reassuring look, and with that, Phil moved to his knees. He hooked one of the weights onto the stretcher, watching it swing a little. He could hear Dan panting from where he was on his knees. Dan was very hard, erection trying to stand up against all the weight on its balls. “Aw look at your little prick trying its best,” Phil joked.

Phil stood back up and gave Dan’s cock a smack with his hand. Dan cried out at the hit and the weight swinging around, stretching his balls further.

“Like it?” Phil asked, flicking the weight when it finally stopped swinging to make it move again.

“Ah, yes sir,” Dan groaned, keeping his legs as still as possible to stop the weight from moving.

Phil began tapping Dan’s balls harshly with the riding crop, and Dan hissed in pain as the sensations were intensified by the stretcher. He felt tears leak out the corners of his eyes.

“Know what a real dick looks like?” Phil asked, smacking Dan’s dick once with the crop.

“Ah, like yours Sir,” Dan answered. Phil was easily a couple of inches bigger and longer than him.

“That’s right, and what’s this?” Phil questioned as he traced his finger feather-light on a vein on Dan’s dick.

Dan sniffed, “Just a ti- a tiny prick, Sir.”

“Yeah, maybe if we help your balls drop...” Phil trailed off. He carefully hooked the next ball weight onto the stretcher, but didn’t let go, instead cupping the ball to hold the weight in his hands first.

“...your tiny prick might grow into a real dick like mine?” Phil continued. When Dan let out a sob at the words, he let go of the weight.

Dan all but yelled. His balls were so tight and sensitive, and he felt as if his whole body was being pulled down by the weights. The weights swung slowly, and even though he was fully hard, his erection could barely touch his tummy.

Phil stood back, giving Dan space and time to adjust. Dan was shaking with the effort to keep still so the weights would stop moving, which was just counter-productive as the weights just kept swinging.

Dan was so far gone from Phil’s words that he barely felt the pain that he felt when they last tried this. All he felt was the desire to please Phil, and all his brain knew at the moment was that Phil was very hard just from watching him, so he must be pleasing Phil, and he’d carry all the weights in the world by his balls if it meant he could please Phil.

“How are you?” Phil’s voice was gentle.

“Green, Sir,” Dan answered clearly.

“Very good, Dan,” Phil praised, and Dan felt pride bloom in his chest.

Dan gasped when Phil lightly touched his sensitive balls, trailing his fingers over the skin pulled tight. Phil’s fingers trailed slowly up, and carefully wrapped around Dan’s length.

Dan sighed when he got the much needed contact, then drew in a big breath when Phil began stroking him.

“Are you a good boy, Dan?” Phil’s deep voice full of lust rang in Dan’s ears.

“Yes, Sir,” he gasped out.

“Think this small thing can please me?”

“Please, Sir it’d carry all the weights in the world to please you,” Dan couldn’t even think properly, he just spoke whatever his hazy mind came up with.

Phil actually tittered at that. His strokes gradually became faster, and Dan’s breathing got heavier.

“It’d do anything huh?”

“Anything, Sir, anything,” Dan blubbered out. He could feel his orgasm approaching as Phil’s strokes got faster, as the weights swung around his full balls.

“Well, it’d please me if it doesn’t come.” With that, Phil let go of Dan’s dick completely, leaving the weights dangling. Dan let out a frustrated whine and banged his head against the pole in defeat.

Phil bent down to release Dan’s ankles from the spreader bar, and pushed the bar aside. He then stood back up.

“Get down there and I’ll show you a real dick,” Phil demanded, and Dan fell to his knees without a second thought. The weights swung around painfully, but Dan couldn’t even register the pain when he was eye level with Phil’s big dick.

Phil tangled his fingers in Dan’s hair, and Dan leaned up into the touch.

“Open up,” Phil commanded, and Dan did as he was told, looking up at Phil wide eyed.

“Good boy,” Phil praised as he slowly pushed his dick into Dan’s warm mouth.

“Very good,” Phil continued when his tip reached the back of Dan’s throat. Dan hummed in response, sending shivers down Phil’s back.

Phil only gave Dan a moment to adjust, feeling Dan’s breath out through his nose tickling his pubes. When Dan swallowed, Phil began.

He thrusted back out fully, before slamming back all the way down Dan’s throat again. His movements were ruthless, his grip on Dan’s hair tightening, his thrusts fast.

Dan barely gagged, but tears were flowing down his cheeks. He was enjoying every moment of the rough treatment he was receiving. The weights pulling on his balls only made him hornier, aching to come. But of course he was a good sub, he wasn’t going to come if that is what pleases his Master.

Dan stayed on his knees, knuckles clenched white behind the pole, looking past his tears up at his Master, allowing him to use his mouth for pleasure. Receiving pleasure from serving, no matter how roughly he was treated. Just willingly taking whatever he gets.

“That’s, what, a, real, dick, feels, like,” Phil grunted, thrusting harshly into Dan’s mouth with every word.

Dan moaned in response, and Phil groaned at the sensation. His balls smacked Dan’s chin with every thrust, and he was panting.

“Better than your pathetic excuse for a dick,” Phil continued, and Dan almost came just from that, but he concentrated on controlling himself.

“Agree?” Phil asked, and Dan moaned again.

That sent Phil over the edge. He stilled deep in Dan’s mouth and came moaning out Dan’s name. Dan swallowed all of Phil’s come like the good boy he was.

Phil pulled out gracelessly when he was done, taking a moment to admire Dan’s red lips, shiny with saliva. Dan’s mouth was still open, showing that he’d swallowed everything.

“Good boy, stand up for me.”

Dan struggled back up on his feet, would’ve stumbled forward if not for his hands tied to the pole.

“Now, does this lil fella deserve pleasure that real dicks get?” Phil grabbed Dan’s dick again, standing behind him and whispering into his ear from his back.

“Please, Sir,” was all Dan could manage to say, shivering from Phil’s breath ghosting behind his ear.

Phil started stroking Dan’s dick again. “Not until I say so.”

Dan looked down to see the weights swinging around, see Phil’s hand working over his leaking dick. He wanted to come so badly, but he concentrated on staving it off.

Phil’s hand moved slowly down to cup Dan’s tight balls. Dan whimpered when Phil squeezed them.

“So full, so beautiful,” Phil’s breath tickled Dan’s neck.

As one hand stroked Dan’s length, the other carefully took one weight off. Dan was so concentrated on not coming that he almost didn’t notice the weight being taken off.

Phil stroked Dan a little more before taking the second weight off as well. Dan was panting, his toes curling and his thighs shaking with the effort to keep him standing up straight.

Phil took his hand away from Dan’s balls, leaving the stretcher on. His strokes on Dan’s dick continued, and Dan began to beg.

“Sir please, need to come please,” he panted.

“Pretty sure that pathetic dick of yours can hang on just a while more?” Phil said, voice patronising.

“Yes, Sir,” Dan sobbed, deciding begging won’t do him any good.

As Phil’s strokes increased pace, Dan became increasingly restless. He got louder, moaning and whining and occasionally letting out little “please”s. He was trying his best not to orgasm, but it was getting harder as Phil continued.

Just as Dan thought he had no choice but to disobey Phil, he felt Phil slide the ball stretcher off of him. At the same time, he heard the words he badly needed to hear growled into his ear.

“Come, now.”

Dan came immediately, moaning high-pitched and covering Phil’s hand with his come. Phil stroked him through his whole orgasm, only letting go when Dan started whining in slight pain from overstimulation.

Phil brought his hand up to Dan’s face, and Dan eagerly licked his own cum off of Phil’s fingers. When Phil’s hand was clean, he swiftly untied Dan from the pole.

Phil held onto Dan’s shoulders, making sure he had support when untied from the pole. He flung the cuffs onto the floor and brought Dan into his arms.

Dan was feeling a little overwhelmed, always felt this way after their more intense sessions. But he felt very safe in Phil’s arms, and he meekly wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist. He rested his forehead on Phil’s shoulder, wetting Phil’s skin with his tears.

Phil stroked Dan’s hair and whispered praises into Dan’s ear. “So beautiful, you’re so perfect, Dan. You did so well, you were great.”

Dan sniffed as he heard Phil’s soft voice soothing him. “Thank you, Phil, I love you,” he whispered into Phil’s neck.

“I love you too, Dan.”

Dan felt Phil press a kiss into his hair, and his mind was floating but he thinks he heard Phil talk about drawing a bath for them. Something about cuddles later. Only one thing his mind was clear about; he truly was fortunate to have Phil.

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

There’s a cute bit in the Philip K. Dick story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” where one character warns another about the lurking threat of kipple, all the useless objects that clutter up our lives.

“When nobody’s around, kipple reproduces itself,” he says. “No one can win against kipple, except temporarily and maybe in one spot, like in my apartment...but eventually I'll die or go away, and then the kipple will again take over. It's a universal principle operating throughout the universe; the entire universe is moving toward a final state of total, absolute kippleization.”

Games are full of kipple. Empty cardboard boxes, old crates, coffee mugs, desks piled high with papers you can’t read and manila folders you can never open.

But Arkane’s latest, Prey, does something neat with kipple -- it weaponizes it.

Like most games you might call "immersive sims" (Deus Ex, Thief, BioShock, System Shock), Prey asks players to spend a lot of time rooting around in cabinets, trash cans and other nooks/crannies in search of hidden gems: useful resources buried in the rubbish.

Unlike those other games, Prey makes that rote and repetitive action scary. It introduces an enemy early on called the Mimic, a common but utterly alien creatures that tends to hide by taking the form of a piece of kipple, then leaping out when the player draws close.

While the nuts and bolts of actually fighting Mimics once they’re revealed can be annoying (they’re small and move erratically), their sheer existence make every otherwise innocuous, kipple-strewn corner of Prey’s Talos I space station feel threatening and alive.

And shucks, that space station. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the way Prey handles space, and sets the player up to tell their own stories within it? 

The game came out a month ago at this point and I know it may have slipped past a lot of people (there are a lot of games!) but after finishing it, I wanted to quickly call out some of the neat things Prey does that are worth celebrating.

Holistic level design

Prey takes place on Talos I, a fictional space station orbiting Earth’s moon. Once the player moves past the opening scene, pretty much the entire station is accessible, and the player can also get outside and jet around the station’s exterior (though they take damage if they go too far.)

That means pretty much every space in the game is understandable and accessible from multiple perspectives, both internally and externally.

A player can spend five hours moving through the station from the Arboretum to the Hardware Labs, then exit into space through an airlock and retrace their path externally in a few minutes. If they happen to float by a viewport on the way, they might glimpse the aftermath of a particularly frenetic fight they had two hours ago, or spot the open hatch of a maintenance duct they crawled through to circumvent said fight.

This is important because it reinforces the illusion that the player is somewhere else. It makes Talos I feel like a real place, a holistic environment that can be explored, learned, and mastered.

This kind of environmental design isn’t easy -- there’s a reason most games run through a linear series of discrete levels -- but when done right, it helps the player feel embodied in your game.

There are lots of great examples of other games that nail this sort of holistic level design, but I’m just going to take the lazy way out and say it’s like Dark Souls. That game had fantastic, complicated environments that all fit together perfectly, lulling players into feeling that they were exploring a real place. Prey achieves something very similar, with the added benefit of being set on a floating space station that can be circumnavigated from the outside.

Dynamic enemy placement

Also like Dark Souls, the lion’s share of Prey is devoid of friendly life. Thus, the game's interlocking environments are chiefly defined by what enemies you find there and what stuff you can pick up.

The enemies also respawn or repopulate across Talos I in some fashion, ensuring (for better and for worse) that players can never fully relax when backtracking. More importantly, there are moments when the nature and number of enemies spread across the station changes in accordance with the narrative.

That gives players new challenges in known settings, keeping those locations feeling fresh and, more importantly, rewarding players for learning and exploiting the environments of Talos I.

Fluctuating power curves

Prey takes a lot of direct inspiration from games like System Shock, Thief, and Deus Ex, asking players to navigate Talos I while fighting/tricking/sneaking past enemies and collecting items, weapons and upgrades.

Since those resources are placed throughout the station and basically the whole thing is open to players from the jump, there are lots of different paths players can carve through the game -- and lots of ways that progression can be impacted by how threats shift and change.

For example, let me lay out my emotional journey through Prey. After about an hour, I was intrigued and felt pretty safe: I had plenty of healing items, a weapon or two, and (naive) trust that the game’s designers had balanced the difficulty level (Normal) so that I couldn’t totally ruin myself.

This seems fine

Five hours in, I was ruined.

I’d burned through all of my healing items, ammunition, and upgrade tools. All I had left was a wrench and a few EMP grenades, which were useless against the monstrosities that stood between me and everything I needed  -- a shotgun, for example, or the fabrication plans for medkits.

I considered restarting the game, but decided to stick with it and sneak past everything in my way. I was terrified. Prey was the worst!

Ten hours in, Prey felt too easy. I’d managed to get both a shotgun and the medkit plans, as well as some schematics for other Useful Things. I was practically bursting with ammo and healing items, and I’d learned the enemies and environments well enough to know no fear.

This is it, I thought. This is the part in every game where you make the jump from underpowered to overpowered. Assuming the endgame was nigh, I caught myself thinking wistfully about how much more immersive and real Talos I had felt when I was inching through it in total abject terror. It would be kind of nice to go back to being underpowered, I thought.

Twenty hours in, I decided it wasn’t actually that nice! I was totally out of healing items (again), out of ammo (again!) and barely surviving as I sprinted across the station, using every trick I knew to try and get away from the enemy.

By this point I’d cleaned out most of Talos I and was having a hard time replenishing my resources and  getting from zone to zone, much less accomplishing quest objectives. With no immediate endgame in sight, I thought again about giving up -- or at least reloading an earlier save.

After ~26 hours of play, I finished Prey. I had to make some late-game upgrade choices to counter troublesome enemies, and chase some side objectives that took me through new (resource-rich) areas of the station, but at the end I felt, if not godlike, at least god-ish.

Most games like this take you from the same start to the same end; the player starts at the bottom of a smooth power curve and spends the game climbing to the top. Prey stands out because it affords the player space to slip, fall, and get back up again, only to slip up in a totally new and terrifying way.

I mean space in a literal sense as much as a figurative one. When lead designer Ricardo Bare talked to Gamasutra earlier this year about the team’s approach to level design, he said the goal was to create a kind of “mega-dungeon” in space “with lots of immersive, simulation-based systems.”

Enter the Mega-Dungeon

By way of example he mentioned the studio’s 2002 first-person RPG Arx Fatalis, which took place inside a giant network of caves.

But my dumb stupid brain went somewhere else -- to the sorts of “mega-dungeons” that are popular in some tabletop role-playing game circles, especially in the 20th century.

If you didn't play D&D or whatever in the '90s, know that these were often sprawling, isolated areas with ridiculously complicated layouts (think like, a 12-level underground dungeon surrounded by a network of caves) and, most importantly, threat levels that varied depending on how far players were willing to explore.

That means players could effectively set their own difficulty by choosing how deep to delve. Pair that with the relative freedom tabletop RPGs afford players in choosing how to circumvent challenges, and you get an experience that's often light on narrative (there's something real bad going on in these caves/dungeons/ruins! Check it out!) but well-suited to letting players tell the story they want to tell.

Making games that give players lots of room to tell their own stories is tricky business. I think if you look at Prey, you'll find some good examples of how that can be done well. 

Players can go almost anywhere and do almost anything (including finishing the game) relatively early on, but Talos I’s interconnected environments are filled with enemies of varying difficulty, letting players choose how to play and what to risk. The threats in those environments change over time, rewarding players for learning the levels and increasing the odds they’ll go through dramatic shifts in power level as they adapt to new challenges.

Of course, there’s a big downside to all this that you’ve probably already sussed out. Prey gives the player finite resources, but the enemies seem nigh-infinite. You might clear out a section of the station, only to come back hours later and find fresh monstrosities lying in wait for you.

That has a chilling effect on the player’s creativity; after all, why risk experimenting with new weapons and tactics when you know that freezing an enemy with the industrial-strength glue gun and bashing them to death with your wrench will A) be ammo-efficient B) totally work and C) present minimal risk of damage?

70 percent of the time, this works every time

This problem really rears its head in the end-game, when the player is likely to be criss-crossing Talos I and facing new enemies while moving through spaces that have already been picked clean.

Still, it's a minor complication in an otherwise great example of good level design and interesting power/challenge systems. I know a ton of interesting games will come out this year (like every year!) but if you have the means to take a look at Prey, do so! 

And if you want a bit more from Ricardo “Mega-Dungeon” Bare, check out this hour-long conversation Gamasutra Editor-In-Chief Kris Graft and Contributing Editor Bryant Francis had with him while streaming Prey on our Twitch channel last month. (I’m not in it, so it should be pretty watchable!)

Alternate blog titles: Beat, Prey, Love; Prey You Catch Me; Let Us Prey; The Prey's The Thing

[alien-earz]

about me

Fancy knowing anything about me?

1: Full name Kirstie Taylor King Turcotte

2: Age: 20

3: 3 Fears: deep water, creepy crawly bugs, pizza place doesnt deliver

4: 3 things I love: music, art, laughing

5: 4 turns on: if you funny, gentle, and can have deep conversations

6: 4 turns off: big ego, doesn’t show he cares, ugly shoes

7: My best friend: nobody wants to be close to me long enough

8: Sexual orientation: str8 

9: My best first date: ohhh maaannnn.... somewhere in a waterfall in a foreign country

10: How tall am I: 5′3

11: What do I miss: not having to adult

12: What time were I born: 7:30 am!

13: Favourite color: dreamy purples and green and blue and anything lovely

14: Do I have a crush: yeessssss!

15: Favourite quote: let it go, let it leave, let it happen. nothing in this world was promised or belonged to you anyway. all you own is yourself.

16: Favourite place: new zealand or anywhere with a beautiful sunset

17: Favourite food: all da food! but mostly hummus 

18: Do I use sarcasm: ....noooo :3

19: What am I listening to right now: bedroom-nostalgic feeling!

20: First thing I notice in new person: the beautiful smiles

21: Shoe size: 7 

22: Eye color: bluuuueee

23: Hair color: dirty blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing: dirty mop grungy just crawled out of a trashcan unique

25: Ever done a prank call?: pretty sure i wasted my adolescence prank calling people

27: Meaning behind my URL: i like to get high

28: Favourite movie: oh maaann! idek. the grinch probs. i know err word. 

29: Favourite song: i have a million favorite songs. but my favorite song at the moment is hodera-breathe easy because the guitar sounds so dreamy and beautiful

30: Favourite band: nevershoutnever is my guilty pleasure

31: How I feel right now: weird

32: Someone I love: everyone who ever made me feel loved

33: My current relationship status: d8ing

34: My relationship with my parents: terrible

35: Favourite holiday: halloweeny because i love being creepy 

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: i only have my belly button pierced but i have 8 tattoos and ive had a million piercings in my life time. 

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: i want to get my septum re pierced annnnndddd i want an avocado tattoo’d on my arm 

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: because it was cool af in grade 10

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: no way, we were friends for a long time before. 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: ermm... sometimes i guess

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: yep! 

42: When did I last hold hands?: yesterday in the car with my boyfriends mom cause i love her and she loves me and shes the best. 

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: 10 minutes at the most

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: loool no? its winter. 

45: Where am I right now?: at work :(

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: probably my self or the cab driver. cabbies always pull thru. 

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: as loud as it can fuckin go

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: no!!!! im a full time adult

49: Am I excited for anything?: summer time 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: yesssssssssss, most of my greatest friends are boys

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: mm  70% maybe. 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: yesterday when i was leaving my friends house. noice warm hugs

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: i would be confuuused. 

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: no! i learned the hard way not to trust a distrusting person.

55: What is something I disliked about today?: that i had to get up at 8 and go to the bank to get money for my rent. and than pay my grumpy landlord. 

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Robert Plant

57: What do I think about most?: im mostly in dream land 99% of the time

58: What’s my strangest talent? i can spread all my toes apart and it looks like i have munky feet. its pretty bad ass. 

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i dont think being closter phobic is strange. but FUCK that. 

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? both! i like to capture beauty and be apart of beauty. 

61: What was the last lie I told? i lied on my time sheet at work because i need the hours but i fucking hate working. 

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? talking on the phone is nice, it keeps the mystery going. 

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: of course.

64: Do I believe in magic?: yes! i believe we all have abilities we cannot access, only some people get to that point. 

65: Do I believe in luck?: sure

66: What's the weather like right now?: sunny, windy. 

67: What was the last book I've read? celestine prophecy 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: i would be dead if i did 

69: Do I have any nicknames?: kerby/kerbz

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: uhm my brother snapped my pinky in half. 

71: Do I spend money or save it?: both haha 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no :c

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? yes! my key chain.

74: Favourite animal? red panda

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? roasting my brain on social media 

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? love 

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? heaven must be missing an angel 

78: How can you win my heart?: be sweet and semi obsessed 

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? tried my best 

80: What is my favorite word? rutabaga 

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: i dont go on tumblr enough 

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love everyone. every leaf. every ray of light. forgive. 

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: nahhh 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: read peoples minds 

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? how do i feel honestly. 

86: What is my current desktop picture? a red panda.. hahah 

87: Had sex? i would be pretty sad if i was 20 and still a virgin. 

88: Bought condoms? yessssssss

89: Gotten pregnant? noooo! 

90: Failed a class? ha ha ha 

91: Kissed a boy? yup

92: Kissed a girl? yupppppp 

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? heh yes 

94: Had job? unfortunately 

95: Left the house without my wallet? all the time 

96: Bullied someone on the internet? ya i was a dick in highschool 

97: Had sex in public? how public? i had sex in a park at night. and in the forest. and in a car parked on the side of the road. idk how public that is. but. 

98: Played on a sports team? soccer! 

99: Smoked weed? everyday.

100: Did drugs? yea!

101: Smoked cigarettes? ive been ciggy free for awhile 

102: Drank alcohol? if i could calculate how much vodka i have drank in my life i could probably fill an olympic pool. js. 

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? vegetarian! 

104: Been overweight? not really. 

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yess

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably. 

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? when i was younger yeah 

109: Been outside my home country? multiple times!

110: Gotten my heart broken? i think my heart is in a constant broken stage now. 

111: Been to a professional sports game? yeah! 

112: Broken a bone? if my pinky counts than yes 

113: Cut myself? for a year i used to cut my self in highschool. 

114: Been to prom? i live in canada 

115: Been in airplane? yeaaaaaaa

116: Fly by helicopter? noooooo 

117: What concerts have I been to? too many 

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? mm no 

119: Learned another language? no! :’( 

120: Wore make up? sometimes 

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? i was 15

122: Had oral sex? duhh 

123: Dyed my hair? not for 2 years

124: Voted in a presidential election? i voted in the prime minister election in canada last year. my dude won. of couuuurse because hes sick. 

125: Rode in an ambulance? yea when my brother shattered his head 

126: Had a surgery? yup!

127: Met someone famous? no 

128: Stalked someone on a social network? haaaahaha i have issues

129: Peed outside? ya gotta do what ya gotta do 

130: Been fishing? yes! i caught the biggest fishy at my bf’s cottage this summer. he was pretty impressed. 

131: Helped with charity? i dated a christian guy in highschool and his parents would take us to the mustard seed to hangout with the less fortunate and feed them :) it was really nice.

132: Been rejected by a crush? YEAA! its the worst. 

133: Broken a mirror? no thats bad luck

134: What do I want for birthday? a big hug and an awesome concert in seattle to happen. 

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2 kids. they will be boys. Atlas/Onyx. maybe Eli? 

136: Was I named after anyone? my dads highschool crush. 

137: Do I like my handwriting? yeah! ive got pretty nice writing id say

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? barbies/teddy bears

139: Favourite Tv Show? one tree hill 

140: Where do I want to live when older? somewhere peaceful, surrounded by nature 

141: Play any musical instrument? ukelele! 

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? my friend put a cigarette out on the back of my leg when i was passed out drunk. that was fun. 

143: Favourite pizza toping? pineapple!!

144: Am I afraid of the dark? if i watch a scary movie or have a scary dream. 

145: Am I afraid of heights? not really but sometimes when i look down it gives me butterflies 

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? HAHA ya. my mom is smarter than i thought i guess. 

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? all the time. 

148: What I'm really bad at: expressing myself. 

149: What my greatest achievments are: moving out all on my own and paying all my bills on my own without any help. 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: my first love told me to go kill myself and that i was spineless. 

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents debt off and move them somewhere they always wanted to go. 

152: What do I like about myself: im funny i guess 

153: My closest Tumblr friend: jen 

154: Something I fantasise about: having my life be a dream pop music video 

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

There’s a cute bit in the Philip K. Dick story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” where one character warns another about the lurking threat of kipple, all the useless objects that clutter up our lives.

“When nobody’s around, kipple reproduces itself,” he says. “No one can win against kipple, except temporarily and maybe in one spot, like in my apartment...but eventually I'll die or go away, and then the kipple will again take over. It's a universal principle operating throughout the universe; the entire universe is moving toward a final state of total, absolute kippleization.”

Games are full of kipple. Empty cardboard boxes, old crates, coffee mugs, desks piled high with papers you can’t read and manila folders you can never open.

But Arkane’s latest, Prey, does something neat with kipple -- it weaponizes it.

Like most games you might call "immersive sims" (Deus Ex, Thief, BioShock, System Shock), Prey asks players to spend a lot of time rooting around in cabinets, trash cans and other nooks/crannies in search of hidden gems: useful resources buried in the rubbish.

Unlike those other games, Prey makes that rote and repetitive action scary. It introduces an enemy early on called the Mimic, a common but utterly alien creatures that tends to hide by taking the form of a piece of kipple, then leaping out when the player draws close.

While the nuts and bolts of actually fighting Mimics once they’re revealed can be annoying (they’re small and move erratically), their sheer existence make every otherwise innocuous, kipple-strewn corner of Prey’s Talos I space station feel threatening and alive.

And shucks, that space station. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the way Prey handles space, and sets the player up to tell their own stories within it? 

The game came out a month ago at this point and I know it may have slipped past a lot of people (there are a lot of games!) but after finishing it, I wanted to quickly call out some of the neat things Prey does that are worth celebrating.

Holistic level design

Prey takes place on Talos I, a fictional space station orbiting Earth’s moon. Once the player moves past the opening scene, pretty much the entire station is accessible, and the player can also get outside and jet around the station’s exterior (though they take damage if they go too far.)

That means pretty much every space in the game is understandable and accessible from multiple perspectives, both internally and externally.

A player can spend five hours moving through the station from the Arboretum to the Hardware Labs, then exit into space through an airlock and retrace their path externally in a few minutes. If they happen to float by a viewport on the way, they might glimpse the aftermath of a particularly frenetic fight they had two hours ago, or spot the open hatch of a maintenance duct they crawled through to circumvent said fight.

This is important because it reinforces the illusion that the player is somewhere else. It makes Talos I feel like a real place, a holistic environment that can be explored, learned, and mastered.

This kind of environmental design isn’t easy -- there’s a reason most games run through a linear series of discrete levels -- but when done right, it helps the player feel embodied in your game.

There are lots of great examples of other games that nail this sort of holistic level design, but I’m just going to take the lazy way out and say it’s like Dark Souls. That game had fantastic, complicated environments that all fit together perfectly, lulling players into feeling that they were exploring a real place. Prey achieves something very similar, with the added benefit of being set on a floating space station that can be circumnavigated from the outside.

Dynamic enemy placement

Also like Dark Souls, the lion’s share of Prey is devoid of friendly life. Thus, the game's interlocking environments are chiefly defined by what enemies you find there and what stuff you can pick up.

The enemies also respawn or repopulate across Talos I in some fashion, ensuring (for better and for worse) that players can never fully relax when backtracking. More importantly, there are moments when the nature and number of enemies spread across the station changes in accordance with the narrative.

That gives players new challenges in known settings, keeping those locations feeling fresh and, more importantly, rewarding players for learning and exploiting the environments of Talos I.

Fluctuating power curves

Prey takes a lot of direct inspiration from games like System Shock, Thief, and Deus Ex, asking players to navigate Talos I while fighting/tricking/sneaking past enemies and collecting items, weapons and upgrades.

Since those resources are placed throughout the station and basically the whole thing is open to players from the jump, there are lots of different paths players can carve through the game -- and lots of ways that progression can be impacted by how threats shift and change.

For example, let me lay out my emotional journey through Prey. After about an hour, I was intrigued and felt pretty safe: I had plenty of healing items, a weapon or two, and (naive) trust that the game’s designers had balanced the difficulty level (Normal) so that I couldn’t totally ruin myself.

This seems fine

Five hours in, I was ruined.

I’d burned through all of my healing items, ammunition, and upgrade tools. All I had left was a wrench and a few EMP grenades, which were useless against the monstrosities that stood between me and everything I needed  -- a shotgun, for example, or the fabrication plans for medkits.

I considered restarting the game, but decided to stick with it and sneak past everything in my way. I was terrified. Prey was the worst!

Ten hours in, Prey felt too easy. I’d managed to get both a shotgun and the medkit plans, as well as some schematics for other Useful Things. I was practically bursting with ammo and healing items, and I’d learned the enemies and environments well enough to know no fear.

This is it, I thought. This is the part in every game where you make the jump from underpowered to overpowered. Assuming the endgame was nigh, I caught myself thinking wistfully about how much more immersive and real Talos I had felt when I was inching through it in total abject terror. It would be kind of nice to go back to being underpowered, I thought.

Twenty hours in, I decided it wasn’t actually that nice! I was totally out of healing items (again), out of ammo (again!) and barely surviving as I sprinted across the station, using every trick I knew to try and get away from the enemy.

By this point I’d cleaned out most of Talos I and was having a hard time replenishing my resources and  getting from zone to zone, much less accomplishing quest objectives. With no immediate endgame in sight, I thought again about giving up -- or at least reloading an earlier save.

After ~26 hours of play, I finished Prey. I had to make some late-game upgrade choices to counter troublesome enemies, and chase some side objectives that took me through new (resource-rich) areas of the station, but at the end I felt, if not godlike, at least god-ish.

Most games like this take you from the same start to the same end; the player starts at the bottom of a smooth power curve and spends the game climbing to the top. Prey stands out because it affords the player space to slip, fall, and get back up again, only to slip up in a totally new and terrifying way.

I mean space in a literal sense as much as a figurative one. When lead designer Ricardo Bare talked to Gamasutra earlier this year about the team’s approach to level design, he said the goal was to create a kind of “mega-dungeon” in space “with lots of immersive, simulation-based systems.”

Enter the Mega-Dungeon

By way of example he mentioned the studio’s 2002 first-person RPG Arx Fatalis, which took place inside a giant network of caves.

But my dumb stupid brain went somewhere else -- to the sorts of “mega-dungeons” that are popular in some tabletop role-playing game circles, especially in the 20th century.

If you didn't play D&D or whatever in the '90s, know that these were often sprawling, isolated areas with ridiculously complicated layouts (think like, a 12-level underground dungeon surrounded by a network of caves) and, most importantly, threat levels that varied depending on how far players were willing to explore.

That means players could effectively set their own difficulty by choosing how deep to delve. Pair that with the relative freedom tabletop RPGs afford players in choosing how to circumvent challenges, and you get an experience that's often light on narrative (there's something real bad going on in these caves/dungeons/ruins! Check it out!) but well-suited to letting players tell the story they want to tell.

Making games that give players lots of room to tell their own stories is tricky business. I think if you look at Prey, you'll find some good examples of how that can be done well. 

Players can go almost anywhere and do almost anything (including finishing the game) relatively early on, but Talos I’s interconnected environments are filled with enemies of varying difficulty, letting players choose how to play and what to risk. The threats in those environments change over time, rewarding players for learning the levels and increasing the odds they’ll go through dramatic shifts in power level as they adapt to new challenges.

Of course, there’s a big downside to all this that you’ve probably already sussed out. Prey gives the player finite resources, but the enemies seem nigh-infinite. You might clear out a section of the station, only to come back hours later and find fresh monstrosities lying in wait for you.

That has a chilling effect on the player’s creativity; after all, why risk experimenting with new weapons and tactics when you know that freezing an enemy with the industrial-strength glue gun and bashing them to death with your wrench will A) be ammo-efficient B) totally work and C) present minimal risk of damage?

70 percent of the time, this works every time

This problem really rears its head in the end-game, when the player is likely to be criss-crossing Talos I and facing new enemies while moving through spaces that have already been picked clean.

Still, it's a minor complication in an otherwise great example of good level design and interesting power/challenge systems. I know a ton of interesting games will come out this year (like every year!) but if you have the means to take a look at Prey, do so! 

And if you want a bit more from Ricardo “Mega-Dungeon” Bare, check out this hour-long conversation Gamasutra Editor-In-Chief Kris Graft and Contributing Editor Bryant Francis had with him while streaming Prey on our Twitch channel last month. (I’m not in it, so it should be pretty watchable!)

Alternate titles for this blog: Beat, Prey, Love; Prey You Catch Me; Let Us Prey