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butterflydm · 2 years

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wot reread: the gathering storm (chapters 17-25)

spoilers for the gathering storm

1. I continue not to care about the Semirhage interrogation. Anyway, physical force, bullying, and shaming ‘breaks’ Semirhage enough for questioning. Or at least Cadsuane believes that enough that she walks away at this point and leaves the actual questioning to other people. Sadly, no Merise-Narishma update.

2. lol, Perrin thinks about how he needs to overcome his single-mindedness. NOW. AFTER he has already abandoned everything, including his morals, to spend weeks chasing after Faile. Closing the barn door after the cow is already dead, essentially. Also, he doesn’t think about Masema a single time. He doesn’t spare a thought to the women he condemned to slavery either.

3. I do like Grady. He spent time with the damane during CoT/KoD, trying to talk to them about freedom. It didn’t work (he didn’t have any support) but I appreciate him trying.

4. The Aes Sedai in Salidar find out that Elaida’s Aes Sedai now have Traveling, and their tactical advantage is gone. Siuan hopes that Egwene will let them rescue her soon, because they need her.

5. *resigned sigh*. Oh, a PoV from little miss slaver. Points of interest:

still refuses to use Mat’s preferred name, even in her thoughts

constantly surrounded by slaves at every point in this chapter

spends much of the chapter mentally masturbating over how wonderful she is and how important she is to her slaves and the world

honestly, best of luck to the person who becomes Empress/Emperor Over The Sea in Seanchan proper. Rooting for you!

lol she made her Voice and personal slave/bodyguard since childhood her Truthspeaker. yeah, no conflict of interest there, lol.

is on the verge of agreeing to a slave raid on the White Tower when she gets the message that the Dragon Reborn wants to meet with her

The main difference, at least so far, between Jordan’s Tuon and Sanderson’s Tuon, is that Sanderon’s Tuon does at least seem mildly affectionate when thinking about Mat, like you might be towards a stray cat that you see every couple of months and leave food out for, maybe; and the other difference is that Sanderon’s Tuon isn’t particularly bratty, the way that CoT/KoD Tuon is (but Tuon wasn’t bratty in WH, so the difference here may be Sanderson showing that Tuon’s ~public face~ is on, so she can’t throw pottery and otherwise be childish, because she’s actually around people who matter now -- others of the Blood -- and not just around slaves and outsiders, where she cares less about looking like a child -- obsessing over how much she looked like a child was a big thing for Tuon in WH).

The thing with Tuon just in general, though is... I find her so deeply unpleasant to read about and, even worse, she makes characters that I previously liked a lot unpleasant too. Her being an invader and a slaver is an in-world reason why the other characters should dislike her, but the out-of-world reason why I dislike spending time with her is that I find her the opposite of enjoyable. She is incredibly unfun for me, and made Mat unfun too. Plenty of evil characters are fun and engaging to read but... Tuon is not one of those for me.

6. Tuon chapter followed by a Mat chapter. Will this be another chapter of resigned sighs? I do have a New Alternate Seanchan Theory: okay, my heart is definitely in the “Jordan radically changed his mind about how to handle the Seanchan between Winter’s Heart and Crossroads of Twilight because he’d thought up the outriggers” theory, but I have a new one based on Origins of the Wheel of Time!

Here’s the new theory -- the pod!Mat that was forced upon me in CoT/KoD has characterization that was based on the (edited out of the final draft) Fourth Friend Dannil Aybara, who would be “important around book 5″. This was originally going to be the second-to-last book of a six-book series and thus likely would have been when the Seanchan took a more central-ish role like they did in Winter’s Heart. Mat’s character changes so much in Crossroads of Twilight that it really does feel like Jordan just pasted another character on top of him, so I wonder if Dannil was originally going to be the “Prince of Ravens” (or potentially the “Prince of Hawks”, which would make more sense as a Seanchan symbol of royalty) and Jordan ended up merging him into Mat’s character (who was potentially originally going to get his battle knowledge from his Old Blood memories of Aemon & Manetheren rather than from the snakes & foxes). This would explain why Mat literally has Too Much Plot for a single character, leaving large Mat-shaped holes in various plotlines. Dannil was apparently a character who didn’t speak much and was generally very passive in the test manuscript for EotW (which was the whole reason that Harriet said he needed to be edited out), which really fits with how Mat behaves around Tuon in CoT & KoD. Anyway, that’s my new theory!

7. So, Ebou Dar sometimes turns men into raging sexists who despise women. The first “on page” character that Nynaeve noted in shock was actually a “man who hates women” (rather than just Jordan’s own “Men and Women are Two Separate Species Who Cannot Understand Each Other” thing) is noted as being from Ebou Dar (TFoH, I believe). Mat spends several books in Ebou Dar and turns into a raging sexist himself, and spends three pages here on what is essentially a misogynist screed about how all women are in a conspiracy against him (I have the paperback version, so it’s three pages). Ebou Dar is a place where it is culturally acceptable for men to be harassed and abused, so this is... maybe is actually something that seems like it could be a trauma response from having lived there and suffered through the culturally acceptable abuse, yes? That being said, still very unpleasant to read! So far, Mat continues to be as much of a miserable PoV as he was in CoT & KoD.

I do want to talk for a moment about how sad I am that Jordan took Mat from a man who seemed to genuinely enjoy the company of women, even if he was exasperated with individual women at times, to a man who viewed the idea of being friends with a woman as a strange and foreign concept, and then to a man who genuinely seems to dislike women and resent that he's attracted to them. And even though this speech was likely written by Sanderson, it still feels like the culmination of the build-up that JORDAN gave us in the previous books, where Mat was getting progressively more and more sexist with each book. And it's just... really sad.

I will... keep an eye on how things progress from here.

8. Mat wants to leave Altara. I ALSO wish he would leave Altara and never come back. Mat and Tuon’s sham of a relationship still makes my eyes roll real hard, so we’ve, uh, got that going for us.

9. I absolutely think less of Talmanes and everyone else in the Band for not caring that Tuon is a slaver, by the way. Reassuring Mat that his marriage won’t make him ~soft~ but not caring at all that Mat married someone who tortures people to relax is certainly A Choice. One of the things I’m going to keep an eye out for is if literally ANYONE points out to Mat “Hey, you married a SLAVER” instead of just going “lol Mat is married now” and treating Tuon being a slaver as if it were of neutral moral value (which was the thing that I hated so much about Mat’s behavior around her in Knife of Dreams, especially). And there's no way that they DON'T know that she's a slaver, given that she was picked up by a Seanchan 'rescue party' that included sul'dam and damane.

10. At least Olver seems to care about things other than women’s breasts in this book. He’s interested in the problem of sneaking into the Tower of Ghenjei now.

11. Mat is annoyed that Joline, Edesina, and Tesyln aren’t still grateful to him for saving their lives back in Ebou Dar. Dude, you’ve been a complete asshole to them for two straight books, including protecting and marrying the woman who attempted to (re)enslave them. They don’t owe you SHIT at this point. You’re lucky Joline’s Warders haven’t killed you.

12. It is... sad to me how emotionally disconnected I am from Mat at this point (after having gone through rereading CoT & KoD Mat). I just... don’t care about this version of him at all. Mat was SUCH a favorite character for me for BOOKS. And now I basically roll my eyes at his PoV chapters and feel similiarly towards him as I do Perrin. It’s a shame. On the plus side, he DID care about slavery very strongly back in Winter’s Heart, so I don’t think this apathy will affect my feelings about earlier versions of Mat. It’s just pod!Mat that I don’t care for.

...Mat does seem to have some pangs of conscience here over being such an asshole to the Aes Sedai but then he keeps, you know, doing it. So. *shrugs* We'll see where it goes.

13. Okay, Mat’s current plan is to head for Caemlyn, and then after that to go help Thom save Moiraine. But first, we have Hinderstap. I feel vaguely like this is not actually a side quest but wow it gives me such strong side quest vibes.

14. Perrin is finally actually doing Wolf stuff again (the wolf dream). He’s so out of practice that he barely even knows what he’s doing anymore. Hopper is aware that the Last Battle (the Last Hunt) is coming and wants Perrin to be prepared. He’s gonna need a LOT of prep. You have your work cut out for you, Hopper. In fact, Perrin is being so bull-headed and stubborn that Hopper just yeets him out of the dream in frustration. lol, good for you, Hopper.

15. “She had spent less than two months captive, but it had seemed like years.” Cheers to that, Faile. It felt like a fucking eternity. The plotline that refused to end. Faile thinking of Rand as “Rand” here feels fake, lol. She always liked to keep an emotional distance from him. But Faile really did ‘grow up’ over the course of the series (she was so rash way back in TDR/TSR era), while it felt like Perrin regressed. Hopper is treating him like an unruly pup for a reason!

16. lol, they’re a week out of Malden (10 days in a week in WoT) and Perrin finally thinks to wonder where Masema might have disappeared to. Anyway, Faile does not admit to killing him, instead just saying, “oh yeah probs wandered off idk”.

17. I have to admit, I feel kinda sad that Faile believes that being ‘loyal but free of oaths' is “a contradiction that only Aiel can pull off”. Lots of people are loyal without oaths being involved, Faile. It’s called friendship.

18. Perrin finally comes to terms with knowing: a. the Last Battle is coming and it’s his responsibility to actually present and b. Faile WILL BE in danger and he has to actually accept that because the entire world is in danger. Anyway, this is Sanderson basically taking Perrin and hitting a reset to before he wandered off on his Shaido side quest, because before Perrin lost all his perspective, he actually DID understand how important the Last Battle and being there with Rand was (he was the one lecturing Mat about it in TSR). And then he went on a five-book side quest where he forgot all that.

19. Shaidar Haran frees Semirhage to give her “one last chance” to prove herself to the Dark One. Elza is waiting for her, telling her that there is Compulsion in her mind (which we know was placed by Verin) that needs to be removed, and Elza also has the Dominion Bands/black a’dam for Semirhage to use on Rand. So Cadsuane, who was in charge of both Semirhage’s interrogation and keeping the a’dam secure, failed on both counts. Elza is also one of the people that Min told Rand would “serve him in her own way”, so that’s two separate viewings of Min’s that have brought harm to Rand in this one scene, because he trusted Min and followed her advice -- keeping Cadsuane as her advisor on her advice, and trusting Elza in his presence on her advice.

Min’s Actively Harmful Viewings/Interpretations count:

her viewing that “Aes Sedai will hurt you” leads to Rand fleeing Caemlyn (away from Aes Sedai who had zero malicious intent towards him) and going to Cairhien (straight into the arms of the Aes Sedai who hurt him)

telling him that he needs to keep Cadsuane around leads to Semirhage being able to use the Bands of Dominion on him, as well as allowing her general bullying behavior

telling him that Elza will serve him leads to Elza being able to help Semirhage use the Bands of Dominion on him

she tells him that Logain has an ‘aura of glory’ and attempts to poison his view of Logain by saying that she worries it means Logain will try to usurp Rand as the Dragon Reborn (Rand dismisses this when she brings it up -- good for him! but it may have contributed to him treating Logain with more suspicion than he would have otherwise).

Min would have been SO much better if she was only in the role of Rand’s Seer Who (Accidentally) Leads Him Astray rather than double-dipping as his girlfriend imo.

20. Rand gets Ituralde and Bashere settled along the border of the Blight with their soldiers (which is advancing relatively quickly). Narishma is here with him, but it doesn’t sound like Merise came along. Rand thinks here “there were no games with Min” and I genuinely laughed out loud. She spent an entire half a book playing “friends who kiss” with him in order to manipulate him into a relationship (she admits this in her OWN THOUGHTS). It is... fascinating, I guess, that it seems like a lot of readers (maybe including Sanderson?) believe Rand’s guesses about Min as non-manipulative over Min actually admitting in her own narration that she deliberately manipulated Rand into a relationship.

23. Lews Therin tells Rand that ~Min is right~ about breaking the seals. It was YOUR IDEA, Lews Therin! You had this idea books ago!

24. lol, the contradiction of Min’s existence in Rand’s life continues. “he needed to be alone. Relying on anyone would risk being weak when he reached Shayol Ghul”. You are literally snuggling your girlfriend EVERY NIGHT. Does she not count as a person?

Would spending the night with Aviendha make you feel ‘not alone’ in a way that spending the night with Min doesn’t? This is one of the big thing that I mean when I say that Min feels more like a plot device than a character. Because Rand says he needs to ‘be alone’ to be strong and then models this behavior with EVERYONE that he cares about (he thinks about how he needs to avoid his father to avoid emotional weakness in this section) except for Min, who doesn’t count as someone who makes him feel ‘not alone’, like she’s a figment of his imagination rather than another character in the world.

Everything about this would make so much more sense if Rand and Min were "Prophecy Child and his Seer egging him on" instead lovers. If Rand were in a lonely bed every night, then him thinking about how important it is that he's alone would make... some modicum of sense. If Min were Rand's Seer but not his lover, then it would be heartbreaking that Rand and Aviendha are so close but staying apart because they both believe for their own personal reasons that they Need To Be Alone. But because Rand is snuggling his personal human plushie every night, it just comes across as vaguely ridiculous when he talks about how him being alone is what makes him hard enough to make it to Shayol Ghul. Like... that's a hard comedy crosscut -- imagine Rand saying out loud, all brooding, "I must be alone. Relying on anyone risks me being weak when I go to my death," and then we SMASH CUT to him cuddling his girlfriend in bed that night. That's laugh track territory!

25. I feel like we’re supposed to feel like Rand is being ~paranoid~ about Min’s closeness to Cadsuane (especially because he immediately chastises himself for it, reminding himself that Min ~doesn’t play games~ lol) but... he’s right. She actually HAS gone behind his back and told his secrets to Cadsuane -- she spilled about both his Aes Sedai-related trauma and also told Cadsuane about being bonded to Rand. His paranoia is absolutely on point here, though he talks himself out of it. She HAS shown more trust in Cadsuane than she has in Rand. This is the same sort of issue that I ran into in Winter’s Heart, where Jordan seemed like he was clearly trying to frame Rand’s worries about Nynaeve as keeping secrets from him as “saidin-induced paranoia”... but she WAS keeping secrets from him! His best friend got left behind in enemy territory! That’s a huge secret that she was actively keeping from him! Like, idk, if Rand’s paranoia keeps being absolutely spot-on correct, it’s kinda hard for me to feel that it’s as dangerous as it feels like the author(s) want me to believe that it is.

26. Before the conversation can continue, a disguised Semirhage collars Rand, having been hidden as an elderly servant. Genuinely so ridiculous that Aviendha doesn’t get involved in this Event at all. She should feel the acute stress in Rand’s mind! The idea that she just ignores it is just... silly, and an excuse to focus only on Min. But, yes, parts of this scene are somewhat affecting to me, but I have to admit Min being very Damsel here honestly makes me roll my eyes and Aviendha not showing up makes it harder to take the scene seriously. At least Min does attempt to attack Semirhage, I guess, before she inevitably spends the rest of the scene in ~beautiful agony~ (remember, you gotta look Hot For Your Man even when you are writhing in pain! /s).

27. Semirhage talking about how satisfying wearing the Dominion Bands are, how it reminds her of the power using the a’dam gave her. Just baffling to me that we apparently aren’t supposed to view Tuon -- who finds torturing and breaking women to be a relaxing hobby -- with as much horror/disgust as we’re meant to view Semirhage. This tool of torture and subjugation that Semirhage gets off on using is the same kind of thing that Tuon enjoys so much. What Semirhage is doing to Rand here is what was done to Egwene in The Great Hunt and what Tuon and her people want to do to all women who can channel. We are given a visceral reminder here (and in Egwene’s flashbacks) of exactly how awful the world that Tuon wants to create is (she literally thinks in her own PoV section how she wants EVERY ‘marath’damane’ in the world to be in an a’dam -- though she also, of course, completely blocks out from her mind that this should include herself as well).

But in Mat’s PoV sections, we’re clearly not meant to recoil in sickened disgust that he’s willing to kiss a woman who would choose to do something like this to his friends and his sister. The line between the type of person that Semirhage is and the type of person that being a High Blood of the Seanchan Empire forges you into... it just does not seem that different to me. I feel like Tuon & the Seanchan Empire (as an institution) are the exact same kind of “Corrosive Evil but not of the Dark One” situation that happened with Aridhol/Shadar Logoth. There’s a reason that Fain felt so at home and comfortable in the atmosphere that the Seanchan created in Falme.

28. Anyway, Rand uses the True Power to break the bracelets and balefires Semirhage and Elza. It sounds like what he did was use his connection with Moridin to use MORIDIN’S connection to the Dark One in order to use the True Power (much like how Semirhage was able to use the Dominion Bands to use Rand’s saidin).

29. It’s genuinely not believable that the torrent of emotion that Rand was feeling in this scene didn’t bring Aviendha here. Rand doesn’t even note any kind of emotional response that Aviendha might be having to his emotions; it’s literally like they’re still in different countries.

30. Good news: neither Corele nor Merise were among the Sisters killed by Shaidar Haran and Elza when they went to free Semirhage! My ladies still live! Poor Daigan died, though.

31. Why wouldn’t Min ask Nynaeve to heal her bruises in this scene? This plus her “thank the Light I’m not Aes Sedai” moment that she had earlier in the book is giving me... weird vibes. (it’s kinda weird that Nynaeve doesn’t appear to have offered either)

32. Rand teaches Narishma balefire to use on the Forsaken, and Cadsuane jumps in to tell him that that she forbids its use. “I have decided that it is not [forbidden],” Rand says. I like pushed-past-his-limits Rand here, the narrative weight of it. He was forced beyond the morality line that he’d set up for himself (Don’t Kill Women, No Matter What) and now is essentially in moral freefall, but he’s still RAND and he still wants the same things (re: saving the world) that he wanted before and he still hates the same things that hated before too (he doesn’t like the Seanchan any better now). He's just been untethered from some of the limitations that he was previously holding himself to, which puts him on a dangerous balancing beam. THIS Rand actually could accidentally destroy the world while trying to save it, as the prophecies warn.

33. Cadsuane’s utter and complete failure at keeping the Bands secure snaps Rand far enough that he finally banishes her from his sight, despite Min’s viewing.

“Cadsuane,” he said softly. “Do you believe I could kill you? Right here, right now, without using a sword or the Power? Do you believe that if I willed it, the Pattern would bend around me and stop your heart? By... coincidence?”

Honestly, this moment literally had me fanning myself, both now and back when I first read it, lol. Rand has never been hotter. Something about a good person in complete moral freefall really does it for me. Some things we must just accept about ourselves, lol.

I think it’s partly... the embrace/weaponizing of the power inside him (not the Power, but his twisting luck as a ta’veren) that I like? It’s about finally unleashing the monstrous part of yourself and trying to use it for good. Dangerous! But hot! I think it’s also a bit about walking that balancing beam itself, knowing that they could fall off. But this vibe is also part of what draws me to characters like Anakin Skywalker or the various Atreides (Paul, Alia, etc) -- or why I like vampires & werewolves in that sort of fantasy setting.

34. Cadsuane has a somewhat vaguely hilarious moment of regret here -- now that she’s seen THIS version of Rand, she realizes how good she had it with the previous version of Rand. Previous Rand was willing to give her an infinite number of chances (because of Min asking him to) but this Rand is just done with her and out of patience.

35. There’s kind of a funny progression with “Egwene is Amrylin” basically every time someone (who knew her before) learns the information - “Um wtf she’s just an Accepted”; “Oh no she’s a pawn”; “Oh actually she seems to have things in hand”. And that makes... a lot of sense? Of course people who actually knew her are usually startled when they first find out, because their most recent previous knowledge is that she was in the ‘student’ category. People don’t instantly process information from zero to sixty. Egwene herself assumed when she was summoned by the Salidar Aes Sedai that she was being summoned as an Accepted being punished. I feel like a lot of characters end up getting flack for being startled by Egwene being Amyrlin (and not being a puppet Amrylin) but those assumptions make a lot of sense on first blush, given what they know about Egwene (student) and what they know about Aes Sedai (big on tradition). Anyway, Gawyn has pushed past Stage One and is into Stage Two of “Egwene is Amrylin”.

36. Gareth and Gawyn have a big clash of conflicting information when they talk (and most of Gareth’s information is much more recent and more accurate than Gawyn’s, though still clouded by his own perspective) -- Gawyn finds out that Elayne holds the Lion Throne, is told that Rand held Andor together (chooses not to believe it), is told Morgase exiled Gareth on pain of death (chooses to believe she must have had a reason). Gawyn has been sheltered from a LOT of information of current events during all this tbh. They both accuse the other one of not being in Caemlyn when they should be, lol. They ARE the pointing Spider-man meme.

37. Sheriam gets orders from one of the Forsaken that Egwene must be deposed as Amrylin, not having proven to be as pliable as hoped. She feels pretty bitter/regretful about her life choices -- she became a Darkfriend so that she could enact petty revenge on her rivals and work her way up the Tower ladder faster! Not to actually have to be in the Last Battle! Haha, sorry bb.

38. Egwene is now in a teeny-tiny cell in the dungeons, though she is still allowed visitors at times. She’s told that Elaida will face a trial for her abuse of Power against a Tower initiate but the consequences wouldn’t remove her from the Amyrlin Seat. Egwene braces herself to fight as best as she can from inside her cell (tbh, at this point, I actually DO kinda feel like she should tell her Aes Sedai followers that it’s time to rescue her so she can continue her work outside the walls? She’s planted a ton of seeds inside the Tower and now her options have been SEVERELY restricted; leaving the Tower would give her more choices in how to maneuver).

#wot reread #the gathering storm #wot #wheel of time #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #mat cauthon #seanchan warning #rand al'thor #gawyn trakand

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aconissa · 1 year

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I'm so sorry but I saw the "Westworld goes downhill from s1" answer in the tag and I just need to defend the series for a second. If you're here for robots pretending to be cowboys then, sure. Everything downhill after that. And I won't say that it's only up from here, it definitely has its ups and downs.

But if you're watching Westworld for the existentialism, to explore the question of "what is freedom," for the "holy shit the scope is way bigger than i thought," or even just for the enjoyment of watching the struggle between humanity and seeing the consequences of its actions/hubris, I absolutely recommend watching it through.

My only real word of warning is we were supposed to get a final season to wrap things up, but it got cancelled. But personally? I still think it's worth watching anyway.

thanks for letting me know! it is nice to hear that some people enjoyed the rest of the show, and I can certainly deal with the lack of a proper final season (I've been through it enough times with other shows anyway).

honestly I can't say if or when I will get to it though. not because I don't believe the later seasons have anything worth seeing, but I'm just awful at watching tv these days. I don't watch things all that much lately and if I do, I'd watch a film over a tv show any day. it took me a full month to get through good omens season 2, and that's 6 episodes of a show that I was far more invested in lol. but one day I'll watch at least season 2 of westworld. we'll see what happens from there 🤷

#ask #anon #westworld

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comingyourlugubriousness · 2 years

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The Diamond in the Rough and the Boy without a Fairy

OK JUST COMPLETED PART 2!!!

And I have so many things I just want jot dot down my reactions to some of the lines

• Obviously the Legend of Zelda quotes 💕💕

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN BOTH HOW BOTH TDRBF AND SORTED INTO SAVANACLAW CONNECTS WITH EACH OTHER THROUGH OUT THE STORY! I know it would've been inevitable for it to happen BUT STILL! The mention of Jack's injury...ahh I hope he feels better

I SWEAR TO JEBUS FROM PART 1 AND PART 2 THESE GODDAMN PAUSES

MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. IT CATCHES ME OFF GAURD SO MUCH!

"Sebek was yelling his head off, arguing with Silver that HE should be teaching him proper riding teaching instead. Pause." LIKE...PUMPKIN☠️☠️

Also LITTLE CRUSH CRUSH WITH KALIM!? I mean shit I would too- ANYWAYS! That's so cute! Idia is probably kind of grumbling at the thought though

HE WOULD LOWKEY BE LIKE: Hmph it's always the rays of sunshine that captures your attention... LIKE THE JELLY MF HE IS I KNOW IT!

AUGH YUME AND KALIM'S DYNAMIC!!!!!!!!

VARGAS IF YOU DONT SHUT YO CRIMSON CHIN LOOKING ASS UP AND LET YUME AND KALIM HUG!!!

Ok KALIM JUST GO ON AND MAKE ME CRY WHY DON'T YOU!

Goddamn Azul it is not the time

I FORGOT I WAS STILL HOLDING MY BREATH FROM THE WHOLE YUME ALMOST DYING THING

The chat logs will always remain superior throughout this story

BLUE HAIRED MALEWIFE!?☠️☠️

YES MORE HERCULES QUOTES! 🥰💕💕

IDIA DON'T LAUGH AT YUME'S INTEREST!

Idia bud...you need to watch what you say lowkey.

OOF YUME IS HITTING WAYYYY TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Oh…..Oh no..

*Chapter 6 flashbacks*

MY. FUCKING. JAW

YUME NOOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭

PUMPKIN HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?

HOW AM I GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS!?

NO DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE OFF WITH THAT QUOTE!!!!

IDIA GET YOUR SKINNY ASS UP AND APOLOGIZE OMFG…

I am still not ok after that THAT HURT MY HEART! PUMPKIN YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ALMOST MADE ME CRY LOWKEY!

I NEED TO LIKE MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR PART 3!😭

BUT THIS WAS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!💕💕💕

I'm so invested in this story like...YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

AHHH THANK YOU THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!! <3333

comments and such under the cut bc its long:

• The Legend of Zelda quotes were painstakingly hand chosen with love! I had that and the Hercules script pinned in my tabs for 2 months lol and I had like 3 docs separate to keep everything in order! And fun fact: their mostly in order of how they appear in the game, meaning they follow the actual game chronologically! ^^

OF COURSE! @bunnwich was the one who motivated and inspired me to write this. I'd never written fanfic before this, just stuff for OCs. It was really something!

You can blame a certain Youtuber for the 'Pause" jokes. It's literally a part of my daily vocab and I woudln't be me if I didn't put my humor, memes, and inside jokes into the writing. (After all, I wrote it with the mindset that only Bun would read it ^^). I'm glad you share my silly humor!

The pairs for the PE part were actually chosen somewhat carefully by me! I tried to think based on character relationships, personal stories and clubs, which 1st years and second years would actually want to pair up with each other!

Yume's and Kalim's relationship is important to me. I'd love to explore it more because there are more layers to it!

#VARGAS WITH YO CRIMSON CHIN, SHORT, LOBSTER LOOKING, STEAK HANDS, ASS lol

I took care writing Kalim! I wanted to show his growth and his reflection after chapter 4. Sometimes I feel people write him a certain way. I don't think he's naive about things as people always think he is. Especially when it comes to people's emotions. The fact that he wasn't able to see through Jamil's lies isn't a fault on Kalim, Jamil is just that good of a liar/ that good at masking his true feelings. but I'm rambling.

Meme voice: I don't care for Azul. (Yet there are aspects of his character that foil Yume's so interestingly.)

AHAHA yeah yume's big day for sure.

Chat logs are the only way I have communicated with people close to me so I drew from my own chat experience, but still wanted them to be understandable.

is Idia not a malewife?

Ahh yes the...climax of this part was something I had been waiting to get to and wanting to explore. I won't get to into it here.

Idia is notorious for saying shit bluntly and without thinking about it, I feel because he doesn't think about how someone could intemperate his words. He knows what he means so he thinks automatically that the other person should too. Bc its "logical" thinking. (lets just say he's not a reliable narrator)

I got to explore lots of interesting things with Yume here, and I'm glad it impacted you so much! Making people feel the intended emotions, or any really is high praise! It affected me as well when I wrote it because...well like you said it can hit close to home for some people.

I HAD to use that quote.

Please take your time!!! I hope you keep sharing your thoughts with me, I love to hear your comments and feedback!!

I'm glad you are invested. <33333

#the diamond in the rough and the boy without a fairy #twst fanfic #writing commentary #mywriting #comments #fanfic #long post #spoilers for my fic it anywone cares #idia x oc #yume ume #moots #thank you so much viper!!!!

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anyhsalinas · 2 years

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Hi! Im just getting into makeup, and I was wondering if you could answer some of my makeup questions? (you don't have to though)

1. I have shaky hands, would liquid liner or pencil liner be better?

2. are there any specific brands that are really good for beginners?

3. how do I find my right lip shade/foundation shade without spending a bunch of extra money?

4. is foundation *necessary* for a really out-there makeup look?

5. how do you get such straight lines when doing eyeliner/eyeshadow? (and how do I do that? lol)

6. how do I get more confident wearing makeup out and about?

ok, that's all, thank you so much, your blog is so cool. and also you don't need to answer this if you don't want. :)

Hi! Of course! I'm not a professional MUA, I only do makeup on myself, so I'm not the most experienced person, but I'll share what I know in case it's useful.

Sorry I took some time to answer your message, you got some very good questions and I thought about recording videos showing how to do some of the tips I’m talking about to then show you, but I ended up not finding time for that until now, so maybe in the future... But for now, I tried to cover everything in here, so I’m sorry for the gigantic answer. 😅

1. Shaky hands

Here are some things that I do that help me when making precise lines/shapes:

A) Support: I do my makeup on a table, not standing. And when I’m doing eyeliner, to help my hands shake less, I wether support my elbow on the table or I support the side of my hand, or my pinkie finger, on my cheeks.

B) Mirror: I use a table mirror because you don’t need to hold them, like hand mirrors, and you can easily move them, so I can place the mirror in whatever angle or distance I need. The mirror I use have a fix height tho, so to adjust its height I improvise by putting some boxes underneath. There are some more fancy mirrors that are a lot better, mirrors that move to any angle or height and ones that have light on them, but they are more expensive, so I stick with the most basic ones.

C) Visibility: I use a ring light in front of my table while doing my makeup, and the mirror I got is normal in one side and has a 2x zoom on the other side, I also got a smaller one that has a zoom of 5x. I don’t know the proper name of those kinds of mirrors, so I call them “zoom mirrors" and they are great to help you see what you’re doing more closely.

D) Breathing: I also hold my breath while drawing lines on my face and stop drawing everytime I need to breathe.

E) Product: the best types of products for eyeliner:

Powder/pressed eyeshadow: the easiest product for doing eyeliner, in my opinion, is eyeshadow because you can do looks like this one that don’t need to be super sharp and you can always use the tape technique to get the wing straight;

Gel eyeliner: most people say this is the easiest to apply, however some gel eyeliners don’t dry completely and can easily ruin your makeup, so you’ll need to research for a good one before buying;

Liquid eyeliner: it’s the hardest but the most waterproof and “transfer proof” (some gel eyeliners are also waterproof, though) because they dry faster. But the biggest secret lies on the brushes...

F) Brush: the easiest brushes to do eyeliner with are small angled ones or small flat ones, because they are easier to make straight lines with. They are great for doing eyeliner using eyeshadow or gel liner, but I never tried with liquid liner so I don’t know how well this would work to be able to inform you, sorry. 😬

G) Calm: precision requires calm and patience, so eyeliner is definitely not something you should do when you’re running late, specially if you don’t have a lot of practice yet. You have to be slow and careful until you get more confident with it, so take your time. And try not to get nervous afraid of making mistakes because you can always fix anything, just remove the part that’s messed up, reapply the foundation or concealer (if you’re using any) and try again.

H) Practice: and, of course, practice consistently. The more you try the easier it gets. I don’t have super firm hands, but I paint since I was a kid so I already know how to deal with the amount of “shakiness” of my hands (Idk if this word exists in english, but I hope it does 😅). But doing straight lines on a face is different than doing it on paper because papers are plane, faces aren’t. So the best way of learning makeup is by practicing and adapting to yourself, you need to experiment to find the products, brushes and techquines that work best for you. But yes, in this process we can spend a lot of money, so I’m gonna share a few things I do for saving money with makeup...

Things I do because I’m poor 😬: I bought myself a while ago an eyeshadow palette that has a decent variety of colors, and I use the shadows for my eyes, of course, but I also use a dark brown eyeshadow to fill my brows, a medium tone brown to contour my face, warmer browns as bronzer, pink eyeshadows as blush, and if that palette had a light shimmery shade I would use it as a highligher too. So with only one eyeshadow palette that contains some pinks and browns you can already do a lot. And I don’t use concealer, I only use an affordable medium coverage foundation that already covers my dark circles quite well (you could also do the opposite and use only concealer).

~ x ~

2. Brands:

I haven’t tried enough brands and also most of the brands I use are only available in my country, so if you don’t live in Brazil you probably won’t have easy access to them. But I don't think that brands actually matters, because the same brand can have both good and bad products… So I usually look for some reviews on Youtube before buying any product, specially expensive ones. But, for begginers, I think is more important to pay attention to the texture of the products: powder, creamy, liquid, gel… Powder products are usually the easiest to blend. So between creamy highlighter and powder highlighter or creamy contour and powder contour, I prefer the powder ones (like I said, I use my eyeshadows for almost everything 😅). Brushes are important too: brushes with soft hairs are good for blending and brushes with firm hairs are good for precise lines. Here is a guide from Pinterest on what each brush shape is good for.

~ x ~

3. Lipstick and Foundation shades:

This is a very hard one, you really have to swatch some shades to use them as reference. And you'll probably never find the perfect shade, only shades that are good enough… Kkk

A) Foundation: Some makeup stores offer swatches of the products for you to try on yourself before buying, and some brands sell swatches online (a mini version of their products), so you can buy a few to try on before buying the bigger size product. But when I'm indecided between two foundation shades, I prefer to get the lightest one because then I can apply countour or bronzer around my face to look less pale. With a darker foundation, you can apply a lighter loose powder on top to make it less dark, but I personally prefer the bronzer option.

B) Lipstick: for lipstick I would recommend you to start with browns, reds and warm pinks (preferably not so bright) because these are shades that usually look good on everyone. Here are some examples from Pinterest: Image 1, Image 2, Image 3.

~ x ~

4. Is foundation necessary?

Makeup is not math so there's no right or wrong (just don't wear things that give you allergy, of course 😅), you can do it however you prefer and nobody can tell you otherwise. It's your face, your style… And I've already seen a few girls on Instagram do stunning both basic and glam makeup looks with no foundation on. I personally like to wear heavy foundation bc I like my makeup to look less natural and more like a porcelain doll, but it's just my personal style preference. In my opinion, there are no rules in fashion and makeup, we make our own styles for ourselves.

~ x ~

5. Straight lines

I believe I already answered that in the first question, but if you have any questions left, let me know.

~ x ~

6. Confidence to wear makeup

Now that's a question I can't help you a lot with bc I'm quite insecure with that too, kkk But I used to be more insecure, I couldn't even wear just a lipstick outside of my house and now I can wear basic makeup looks… but not creative ones. I wish I was brave enough to wear my most creative looks to go out, but I'm still not. 😅 I'm a very introverted person so I try not to call much attention bc if someone likes my makeup and comes talk to me about it I'll get extremelly nervous, so I like to be invisible, kkk. But what usually makes me feel more comfortable wearing makeup is to know that there are other people in the place where I am that are wearing makeup too. But specially going out with friends that are also wearing makeup. This way at least I don't feel alone, kkk. That’s how I do it.

But always remember that you're not harming anyone with your makeup, you're not commiting a crime and your personality is not defined by whatever stereotypes people have about people who wear makeup. So if somebody gets bothered with your makeup (unless you've litteraly written insults to other people on your face or something, kkk) they are overexaggerating, and this is their problem to fix, not yours. Other people don’t have to like your style, what matters is that you are feeling cool in what you’re wearing and nobody is being forced to look at you, so there’s nothing to feel bad about. And I know this is easier said than done, but let’s repeat it to ourselves until it we learn it. 😅

~ x ~

And that’s it, I hope I helped with something. Like I said, if you have any questions left, just ask.

And I'm so glad to know you like my blog, thank you very much!

Have a nice day/night! 🤗💕

#ask #makeup tutorial #makeup tips

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a-spell-a-rebel-yell · 2 years

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November

right 😂 this is an abomination. i'm two weeks late for this post, as today is already December 13th i fully acknowledge i can no longer offer any form of apologies this time but i swear i was just distracted! i didn't forget you guys!!!

but anyways: hello everyone!!! hoping you lot are staying sane, 2022 will be over soon, maybe we'll get some proper rest this yearend, with xmas and new years' holidays! (i think this is my sole motivation to get through November and December lol)

this November the only highlight and worth mentioning is my Labuan Bajo trip! my dad (again) got another work trip scheduled on my birthday weekend, the place and timing were perfect down to the t! so of course me and my sister took another leave, and honestly thank god i have cool head dentists they didn't ask much and just approved my 7-days leave request.

Labuan Bajo (at Flores island, East Nusa Tenggara to be exact) is one of locations i have on my bucket list, and having my dad's office arranging everything we got to stay at one of the best resorts there. booked a room with a view overlooking Waecicu beach and i'm telling you every second is heaven! the weather was perfect, we have direct view of sunset from the high level every evening, the hotel was great, and most importantly: the food was delicious! i think i gained weight because all i do was just eat and try as many things as possible.

we stayed for 6 days (actually just 4 days, the rest 2 days were for the flights so they were more like rest days to me) and the thing about Labuan Bajo is that the town its located in (West Manggarai district) is a small one, you can explore everything in just 2-3 days.

for the first day, we hired a driver to show us to places. in the main island the tourist spot is mostly caves, the ones that used to be underwater hundred years ago but now is a dry cave. out of the many caves, we picked the most popular aka the Batu Cermin cave. during initial minutes of us entering the cave complex, we were awed. we can't stop ooh-ing or aah-ing because the stones were huge HUGE like a five stories building high. i was feeling fine, because i love height. but then the guide showed us a small opening to a slightly deeper and underground cave system and i was so close to freak out. mind you, i have claustrophobic tendency, so it was almost like a daytime nightmare for me. but i steeled myself and push forward after i put my caving helmet on. turned out it wasn't so bad, i managed to keep myself under control and enjoyed seeing the stalactites and fossils!

after the below ground zero cave experience, our driver (i don't know if he intentionally did this or not) brought us to a tribe village high up on the mountain (it was an hour drive from the cave) so the pressure change was hilarious (to me at least). there we tried the local traditional clothing and took pics on the traditional house. my mum bought traditional textile and my dad got grounded coffee. after that we had lunch and went back to the hotel!

for our second day, we rented a private speedboat to reach the islands and decided it'll be just a 1 day trip scouring everything in one go.

on the islands tour trip day, we all had to wake up early because we wanted to make sure not to waste the good weather (the sea's always a lot more windy from 12 pm onwards). the waves even at 6 am is pretty scary (i might be biased since i have thalassophobia heh) but everywhere you look it's just endless nice blue ocean and tiny empty islands dotting green here and there, it was beautiful!

our first destination is Padar island. where the main attraction is this photo spot on top of the hill with three different beaches as the view. to reach it, we had to climb 815 steps and somehow out of all four in the family, only i made it all the way up 😂 but oh boy it counted as a strenuous exercise for me since i don't workout, but i made it anyway after 30 mins! so i took photos and thankfully there were rangers who helped take pics for me. spent a good ten minutes up there before going back down.

next island is a carefully selected one from the many mini islands by our captain that has 'pink' beach. it's actually a trick of the eye because what's causing the beach sand to look pinkish in color is just smithereens of red corals scattered everywhere. again, it's beautiful and you can do snorkeling here but i was too lazy so all i did was play at the beach and drink coconut water hehehe. we spent almost an hour there to rest (mind you, 815 steps up and down is no joke) before resuming the trip.

third stop is the one and only Komodo Island!!! there you'll find the Komodo National Park where you can hire a guide/ranger to show you where the komodos are. there's an option to explore and hike further into the woods but my parents chose the shortcut track to just go see the komodo. we found a big, chunky one! everyone took turns to take a picture with it, and since it was noon the komodo was sleeping 🥺 i know they can kill you in an instant but they're still so cute 🥺

our fourth and final stop is Kanawa island. much like any other islands in the area, its focal tourist spot is the beach and the sea surrounding it. we had our lunch at the little port attached as we treat our eyes with the view, feeding the fish right below our feet with our leftovers. actually, there were other islands we can go to, but because it was already 1 pm and weather forecast saying it'll rain on the afternoon, we decided to head back to the main island. every other islands are pretty much offering the same thing, and we don't plan on swimming or diving or snorkeling, the sun was super duper scorching hot (our skin got considerably a shade darker even when we already put on sunblock shades and wore clothes covering almost everything) and we were tired anyway, so yup. i think we got back at the hotel at around 2 pm and we all fell asleep 😂

the rest of the trip was spent with, yes you guessed it right, eating!!! being literally so close to the ocean, the popular food choice is seafood. we ate loads of things and tried the local cuisines. local best food is se'i and i think it was the best se'i i've ever eaten in my whole life (yet, so far)

by now you probably can tell (or already established the fact) that my family mostly do touristy & culinary things before staycation-ing because we just don't have that much energy lol so yeah. the next 3 days days we just spent it at the hotel, sitting at the balcony watching the sea and sunset, the harbor, the ships... it was so peaceful, serene, and that's the kind of life i strive to have. maybe one day.

the irony is after we went back to Jakarta, all of us caught cold and flu! i think it was the temp fluctuation (the sun was hot yet the weather is super windy and cold) and i took a week off from work 😂 so yeah, that's how i spend the last week of November and the first week of December leisurely hehehe.

really can't believe it's almost the end of 2022 already. it's been a year since i graduated as a dentist also. time passing is always a mystifying wonder to me, and i can never stop being in awe. i'm a quarter of a century old now! so many things have gone swallowed by the past and seem to be so, so far away from me now. i'm trying as best as i can to enjoy everything i have at the very moment, so it'll somehow lessen the pain when all i can do is to think of them from my memories.

but yeah, we're looking forward. let's see what the future holds, shall we?

edit on 03/02/23: omg i forgot to mention that first week of November is marked with me finally meeting my senior high school friends that i haven't seen/talked to for years!!! it's just a bunch of 4 peeps and what's funny to me now is that we're not alike in any way whatsoever it's like a jumbled mix. but it worked out well? i'm so happy to meet them, and i'll see them again February 12th 2023 (i'll write about this on the Feb '23 post) we went to the mall for lunch, it was a all-you-can-eat day and we talked a lot... it was a good day :) it's quite hilarious the fact that most of the things that find its way back to me are always occurring in the most unexpected way possible 😂

#alhamdulillah #living day by day #slow living is the best tbh #a day in my lfe

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iloveyouw · 2 years

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16 Nov 2022 omg its my brothers bday 9.30am ish

here is my attempt on giving my life review.

1/5 stars. hate the old me actually but here goes. honestly dk if this is what u want, but i think i shall express it in my own thoughts.

when i was with Gary i was young. he was my first love. and it wasnt how i thought it would be. i think he is a great person, but and a subpar boyfriend. thats maybe cos of our age gap. i always felt very small with him and i hate being "shut down", i was young and energetic. i had goals and dreams. i wanted to be an art director. when i was 19, we all had that conv of what do we see ourselves 5 years later. i said i dont know. it feels far away. little did i know the worst years of my life was about to happen. when i was 19 i was already a broken person. what happened to me the first time to an unknown stranger, it felt forced. i wasnt ready 100%. i was pessured because back then the ppl around me were not virgins anymore. it felt like i was in a rush to prove myself. i know. i know. that sounds fucking, incredibly dumb. what can i say? i was young and stupid. i always find the need to lie about my numbers. i told gary he wasnt my first, just because im scared of feeling more than less than if it were the case. i told him he was my third or second. i dont rmb, i rmb lying about it. i was ashamed, he had like 9 or 10. again, incredibly stupid. i could never be myself. as i grew older, i always learn and find myself being ashamed of who i am. who i was. who i would eventually turn out to be. theres just, always a reason to be ashamed of myself.

when i broke up w gary i wasnt in love with him anymore. i did not give him proper closure. he was left in shambles. right away, i went to exploreeee, i am 20 now. i was scared of hooking up. haziq warned me about how the first times would be like. its a thin fine line to thread. i threaded it and narrowly escaped. matt. the first hook up. i took it pretty well. it was awkward as hell. like fucking awkward. uncomfortable awkward. but i wanted it. i wanted to try. i knew i had support. i always make sure i am cushioned if i fall. horrible thing to say yeah; well matt used me. i didnt know that until 6 months later he snapchatted me and ask if i were around. he didnt even remember i dont live there. i met 7 australians in the span of 2 weeks. well sorta. i rmb being ghosted by 1 and i left 1 half way. i rmb i told him (i need to pass my roommate the keys to the apartment, its v last min srysry) and i up and leave, we were at a bar LOL. i was scared. so minus that 2 i met matt, jerry, guy 1 (where we just made out), guy 2 (where i just gave him a bj lol horrible too), alex (the one that begged me to go over). matt wasnt an issue, i forgot how he looked like, but i rmb his dog. and i rmb it being extremely awkward. but i told haziq i think i got attached. but i was not la. i was confused at that time. but it deep down i know it wasnt anything. horrible guy for expecting me to go back 6mths ltr.

jerry. he was a great person. he didnt use me. jerry wanted to hang out with me and get to know me, like actually. within a week, we met like 3 or 4 times? it was different yknow, he treated my like a local and respected me! he brought me to get groceries beers, hummus, snacks and we sat at a park. it was a beautiful day and view. weather was great. we talked. thats the first time. then the next one he brought me to a rooftop bar!! v cool place along the melb street. i miss that place. not the disgusting men. but i fell in love with melb!! then after he brought me over. but we didnt hook up yet. we sat at the porch and listened to our fav music. i shared turnover with him and he shares his with me. i dont remember though. after awhile it go warm we head in, ordered pizza and watched black mirror. he was the one that got me hooked to the show!! he bought everything including ubers and shit. we smoked a joint and it was very common there. everyond had weed in their pockets. like 9 out of 10 people have. then i got comfortable with him and thats when we hooked up! i stayed the night i think. then next morning he sent me back. i think he was in the midst of moving, so the next time we met was his new place? really cant remember. but we hooked up again and he was the first guy that bother to pleasure me. come to think of it. gary like nv go down on me before. not any that i can rmb of anyways. back to it, i didnt know how to cum lol so i pretended it was nice but really i dont know how to feel. and then i cant rmb but i think he send me to school that morning and when he dropped me was like alot of traffic and i almost got banged haha and he texted like be careful u almost got smooshed. so thats nice. thats all ah. to me jerry was a nice cute little relationship that we both got like a lil attached but knew it couldnt be anything. and nothing better than both parties feeling mutual yet agreeable. so i liked that! plus he was essentially doing my dream job, abit different but still hes creative! (back when i had dreams)

and then comes the shitty people that i always try to forget, like the one that ghosted me -.- and the one that i knew i wasnt gna get anything out of it but felt obliged to meet since we agreed. then i sucked him off which honestly, did i want it? back then maybe. but it felt more like, compliance. which i know, again, horrible. then the skinny one, at least he have the decency to buy me a drink... but thats the least he could do honestly. not worth, 0 worth. but i tried saying no. and i wasnt firm enough. so that happened. i will give him credit for sending me back the next day. although it made me feel like shit so he ought to. honestly he ought to do more but ugh whatever.

dumb dumb dumb and dumbest thing about to happen u ready? i came back and that was when i knew kegan. so i give u an example. it wasnt the exact dates ah, but its how rmbed it to be. nov i knew qai, dec i knew kegan, jan i got tgt with kegan. so qai was there all along. he liked me, i just didnt like him like that. we kissed cos i didnt know what to do. I KNOW HORRIBLE TOO LOL but he wanted more and i pushed him and said no. i knew i didnt want to have anything like that with him. i guess i dont know how to say no. its true. then kegan lai liao lor. first time we met i think we talked first. yknow, hes an asshole. he had to cheek to tell me (when we were alrd tgt) that the first time we met he purposely suggested somewhere near my place so i would say yes) i got baited wtf. i have something thats unrelated that i can tell u about kegan, if u wna know i tell u but im not gna write here, but just for my reference it is about matthew.

first time we met, i just came back from australia. im "new" and "changed", yknow, not timid jo anymore. proud of what i did. c00l. so i acted like im not afraid of meeting new people and hooking up. "its normal what" mentality. so first time meeting kegan, i told him "u want or not" HAHA and then he said i was bold and he liked me. and i tell u kegan is the biggest loser of all time. i fucking hate him. hes the biggest shapeshifter, he is NOT who i thought he was and he was amazing at doing that. again, maybe the meth. omg do i have a special spot for him in my heart cos i turned out to be him... living a fake identity and trying to run away but get pulled back by meth.... ok i stop here for now. i go think about that first then cont LOL its been an hour ish alrd. i dont know if this is what u want. i will just post it it can serve as a reminder for me to... although im afraid of whats to come... hais. ok nnww

side note, in melb i walked alot. i walked everywhere. i rmb walking for like 3-4 bus stops and go shopping alone, i just opened my google maps and see a mall, i maps my way there, then this old lady asked me for directions, which was very cute!! i acted like im a local haha and used the map to show her where she was going, then she gave me coins LOL and forgot what she said, but smth like get ice cream or smth. so thats very cute.

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longsilent · 2 years

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Befit mom dvd

#Befit mom dvd how to#

#Befit mom dvd zip#

Honestly, I wish that I had heard about this site during pregnancy, because there are so many resources explaining what type of exercises are safe in pregnancy. It is so informative in explaining how pregnancy really affects a mother’s body. I read about the BeFit Mom fitness program, so I went online and checked out the site (). Classic gym exercises have nothing to do with being postpartum.” Mom’s Favorite Stuff: Real Mom’s Reviews of Everything for Mom and BabyĪfter having my second child, I was really looking for a workout that would help me get my body back in shape, without doing more damage (as I had heard crunches can do). Exercises such as heel slides, toe taps, and belly scoops - which realign the pelvis - are reflective of Byrne’s muscle specificity, whereby, she says, “What your practice is what you get. The mom, former dancer and self-proclaimed “pretty hard-core jock” offers women a back-to-basics, gentle reentry into the realm of conditioning, with proper positioning as a cornerstone. The Alameda resident and author of “Exercise After Pregnancy” is the creator of the new “Bounce Back Fast! Post Natal Core Conditioning” DVD - complete with exercise resistance band. “The body is doing layers of jobs during one exercise.” “I prepare the body neuromuscularly,” she adds. “When that gets tight, a whole host of doors open up to you,” she says of the ensuing, essential dynamic stability that’s created. Instead, postnatal fitness expert Helene Byrne focuses on slowly restoring integrity to the new mother’s pelvic floor and working on core strengthening, specifically the all-important, oft-neglected transverse muscles. Dong a simple sit-up remains elusive and committing herself to a regimen of crunches is not the solution. Her abdominal muscles, however, prove not to be so resilient. Core Strength Proves Key After Baby ArrivesĪ few weeks after delivery, a mother’s cardiovascular strength can return and the discomfort in the low back can feel improved. Why you’ll love it:Helene Byrne, a perinatal-exercise specialist, provides information on reconditioning the muscles most affected by pregnancy and labor. I did like the jeans a lot, other than my big gut-lol.Fit Pregnancy Magazine: Bounce Back Fast! Post Natal Core Conditioning BeFit-Mom, $22 The scoop: Filled with restorative moves such as Kegels and belly scooping, the DVD also features an abdominal-strengthening program. I had a muffin top so I'm going to get going with the exercising and try again in a few weeks. I went and tried the sweetheart fit jeans on tonight. Thank you for the DVD recommendation (and thanks for yours too Serena!) I'm going to check them out while I wait for LO to wake up and eat. so I can't speak to the effectiveness yet, although hubbie says he notices a difference (what a sweetie!)

#Befit mom dvd how to#

Yup, the BeFit Mom DVD goes over how to engage the deepest ab muscles so that you build up strength in the right order (so as not to have a 6-pack on top of a tummy pooch! and not hurt your back) It also covers how to do kegels properly. Just looking for a guide so that I'm not wasting my time or doing any damage to my lower back. Um, wtf? Seriously? I'll fit that in between the bon-bon eating and the weekly facials-lol. When I asked him what the right way is, he couldn't show me but said ideally, I should work with a trainer at a gym. it had good reviews on Amazon and people said it took about a month to lose the belly pooch)ĭoes your dvd include the correct way to do sit-ups/crunches? My doc said I need to be doing them, but that I need to do them the right way. I'm going to try and not buy new jeans which might decrease my motivation to shed those extra lbs! So far, I've been pretty good with my ab workouts (I'm using the Be-fit mom dvd. I start back to work next week and I'm planning to use the BeBand or an elastic band around the button of the jeans to get me back into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

#Befit mom dvd zip#

I'm in the same boat - those extra 5lbs are making all my jeans too tight! I can zip button them, but it's not pleasant and I don't even want to try sitting.

#Befit mom dvd

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 2 years

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Stranger Things Season 4 Volume 2 - REACTION + THOUGHTS

Holy fucking shit, everyone 😭 it was only two episodes and yet I feel drained, it took like 4+ hours to get through two damn episodes but I did it!

My reaction to Episodes 1-7 are HERE!

I wrote my thoughts in a notebook as I watched and I’ve elaborated more on those thoughts in this post below. Mostly it’s a lot of freaking out and fangirling though 😂

⚠️ There are HUGE spoilers below the read more so please read at your own risk! ⚠️

Episode 8 - Papa

Awww mini Eleven is so cute

She was so exhausted after sending Vecna to the beyond that she straight up passed out after

Not me getting triggered by showing 001 being tattooed again 🤧

The gang panicking to find music is so funny but also FIND THE MUSIC FFS

“I want you to tell Eleven… I want you to tell her everything you’ve seen… tell her everything” - oh shit, he didn’t kill Nancy 😮‍💨 but also yikes

Not the Russian demogorgan still alive???

Awww, Joyce patching Hopper up :3

“You’re the hero of Hawkins” - IM NOT CRYING, NOT YET 🤧

Hop asking after El and Joyce saying “she misses her dad” ❤️

“Umm I hate to interrupt” LMAO “but apparently they (the demogorgons) can climb too” … shit

WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ONE STRAPPED TO A TABLE BEING DISSECTED

Tell me the Russians have NOT been experimenting on the demo-creatures 😭💀 and what the hell is that swirling dust stuff???

Eleven’s powers are BACK! 😀

To be quite brutally honest, I forgot what the Cali crew were up to because they were just… there. Not really doing that much. :/

I’m not really digging Mike’s whole “what if she doesn’t need me anymore???”, let alone Will having to reassure him “of course she’ll need you” like… ?? Boys, hello???

OHHHH THE PAINTING

Awww is it based on DND?? Apparently El commissioned it, and Mike in the painting’s coat of arms is a heart because he’s the heart of the group or some shit?

Honestly not really here for Will’s painting/feelings being used to further the Mileven pairing :/

The way Jonathan was looking at Will and Mike, I thought he was thinking “yeah my brother’s got it bad”

“When you’re different, you feel like a mistake” - WILL BABY??? Again, it’s so obvious he’s gay and hiding it???

NOT WILL LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AND CRYING, POOR BOY IS HEARTBROKEN (and at this point I’m starting to think that yes, in love with Mike)

Did sending Vecna through the portal cause Eleven’s speech and language to regress too??? Because I’m S1 she can barely speak and needs to be taught common words, whilst in flashbacks in S4 in the lab, she seems quite fluent?

Has this motherfucker Brenner been searching for 001 this whole time??? Is that what this is about???

Oh god not the autopsy photos 😭

“Your friends are in danger” - yeah but what else is new??? They’re in danger like every 6-12 months 💀

The clock has 4 chimes… which means 4 gates, 4 victims??? Shit, he’s one away???

Eleven using her powers to watch the Hawkins gang :’(

Nancy: We have to go back // Eddie: 🤦 NO

Robin calling him “Henry-slash-Vecna-slash-One” 😂

Because El is watching them, she’s in on their plan too now… interesting

Max: I draw his focus next to me - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN

If Max fucking dies, I will be SO ANGRY

Yayyy Jopper + Murray + Dmitri made it out of the Russian base!

LMFAO at the van just smashing through the gate

Hopper protecting Joyce by wrapping his arms around her :3

Joyce saying “That plane crashed” and Hopper’s concerned “… crashed?!?”

Dmitri threatening Yuri lol

I like that at this point Steve is still not wearing a proper shirt 🥵

Eddie calling Max “red”

“You got a ski mask or a bandana?” - cut to Eddie wearing Max’s Michael Myers mask that she wore at Halloween in S2 😂

Eddie hot wiring a van

HE CALLED STEVE “big boy”, I’M-

Also Steve is STILL barefoot 😂

“Your friends are not prepared for this fight” - right, so maybe go and fucking help them????

Owens at least tried to let Eleven make a choice, Brenner is a dick

No but Steve talking about his dreams and saying in his dreams for his life, he wants 6 kids and to travel America on road trips with them 😭🤧 he would be such a great dad, I’m-

Nancy calling 6 kids “a nightmare” LMFAO SAME

“If only I had some practice” *gestures to the kids he’s always babysitting* 💀

Lucas making the Ms Kelly link and also wanting to find someone else - anyone else - so Max won’t be in danger

Max’s happiest memory involves Lucas, which makes me think it’s probably the Snow Ball dance when they got together?

Is that a helicopter?!! There’s no way that thing is carrying five adults from Russia to America???

“For me, she is still a virgin” - PLEASE DO NOT SAY THAT ABOUT THE HELICOPTER YURI

The War Zone store is like the size of an entire shopping mall :/

Ah, America… no one is questioning young teenagers like Erica, Max, etc buying guns and explosives

IS THAT VICKIE IN THE STORE 💀

WHAT DO YOU MEAN VICKIE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND SHE MADE OUT WITH HIM RIGHT THERE, FOR FUCK SAKE

Robin being heartbroken 😭

NAHHH WHY THE FUCK IS JASON AT THE GUN STORE, why are ALL OF THE BASKETBALL BROS THERE

Jason really needs to back the fuck off, and the scene where he’s talking to Nancy and putting his hands on her gun really proved that

Argyll saying Nina sounds like a “small woman” 😭 he ain’t wrong, “nina” is Spanish for little girl I think

Nahhh is Argyll STILL fucking high 💀

Getting REAL sick and tired of seeing military and army assholes

DID BRENNER CALL THEM, FUCKING DICK

“If my men hear you coming, they’ll kill him (Owens)” - BRENNER IS LITERALLY BLACKMAILING HER WHAT THE FUCK FUCK HIM

Eleven called him OUT and I love it

“You could not let him (001) go” “you are the monster” — SO TRUE

He injected her what the hell 💀

She should have just killed him tbh

“Is this legal?” “Actually, I think it’s a felony” — LMFAO

Eddie and Dustin play fighting and Eddie making Dustin promise “never change, promise me”… why do I feel like Eddie’s imparting some wisdom and is about to be killed…

“Even though you’re a bench riding loser, you’re still my brother” - awww Erica :3

Wait did Steve say Vickie’s boyfriend is a full ass college man 💀

“Not everyone has a happy ending” - ST writers are definitely trying to tell the fans to lower their expectations of happy endings for everyone 😭

“It might not work out for us this time” - FUCK. NO. NOPE.

Oh god did he put one of those collars on Eleven?!?

Not the shootout 🤦

Omg they shot Brenner and he dropped Eleven. Not gonna be sad if he dies tho, he low-key deserves it lmao

Owens saying he could put El in a coma and then if the killings stop they’ll know it’s her, but the gang is planning on taking down Vecna do the killings will stop??? And they’ll think it’s El???

Never mind, asshole army guy ordered them to kill Eleven anyway

EYYYY Cali gang FINALLY pulling their weight and going to the rescue!

Go on, Eleven! Bring it down! Knock the aircraft out the air!

I’m confused tho because I thought he collar subdued her powers but she’s still wearing it in this scene and straight up knocking a helicopter out of the sky???

The Mike and Eleven reunion was sweet but idk Will still feels like a third wheel even when he’s happy to see Eleven and he hugs her

Will crying with happiness at seeing El again and giving her a hug 😭❤️ love the brother-sister relationship

Brenner has a remote control to make the collar fall off???

“I’m proud of you” “you are my family” “my child” — yeah? Funny way of fucking showing it, mate

“Please tell me you understand” - and then she doesn’t say anything, just gets up and says “goodbye papa” 😅

Soooo… is he actually dead this time?

I’m so anxious for this plan, holy shit

THE MUSIC IS PHENOMONAL!!! (It’s Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) by Journey and Steve Perry, and it was in one of the trailers)

The chills I got at them approaching the Creel house again… ooh

Episode 9 - The Piggyback

Strap in, folks, this one is a whopping 2hrs and 20 minutes!

YURI JUST SABOTAGED THE HELICOPTER FUCK SAKE

Hopper and Joyce’s sexual tension is getting VERY obvious Jesus Christ

THEM CHANGING NEAR EACH OTHER AND JOYCE LOOKS OVER AND HE’S SHIRTLESS IM-

Lmao at her Hulk Hogan t shirt though

Hopper’s been dreaming about their Enzo date and starts listing the food, and then… “been dreaming about something else too”

IS IT HAPPENING

HOLY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I LITERALLY SCREAMED THEY KISSED HOLY FUCKING CHRIST

NOT THE PHONE INTERRUPTING THEM GETTING DOWN AND DIRTY

“You can be the hero, Steve” - yes but only if he survives 😇

I’ve got a horrible feeling about both Steve and Eddie, and I hope I’m wrong

To be fair to him, Jonathan is trying very hard to get plane tickets to Hawkins and I appreciate the effort

Soooo Eleven is going to go inside Max’s mind and protect her there? 🤔

*talking about how El needs a “bathtub”* Argyll: Yeah, gotta be clean to enter the mind — I FUCKING DIED LAUGHING

Hell yeah for the Kate Bush reappearing

Them writing notes so they won’t be overheard by Vecna on the other side is super smart actually

Not that dude seeing Erica and tipping the basketball team off 😤

Not Jason target practicing smh

Murray: “I see the mood here is bleak, and understandably so” LMFAO NO KIDDING

So those particles moving… means there’s a gate open?

Part of the hive mind is in Russia… where they’ve just escaped from 💀

Of course there’s another Surfer Boy Pizza shop, of course it’s a franchise

The amount of “dudes” in this one conversation LMFAO Even Jonathan was doing it 💀

Love that their prep involves cooking a pizza in the oven 😂

Also the sensory tank is in the newly emptied pizza freezer???

Robin panicking about getting lost is a whole ass mood frankly

“She’s a super klutz” - bless

Apparently Steve used to crawl backwards as a baby? “Always in reverse” (no joke I actually read a book about a boy who crawled backwards and did everything backwards because his mother and father met on a train that was travelling backwards???) (I looked it up; it’s called “Back To Front Benjy” by Dick King Smith)

He also apparently thumped his head as a baby o_o (Nancy: “explains so much” lol)

Steve calling himself confident but an idiot made me kinda sad, all this self reflection made me think he was gonna die 😭

Him thanking her for giving him “the biggest thump” of his life and discussing their relationship

I can’t believe he really said NANCY was the most important part of his dream… I am really not here for Steve/Nancy :/

LMAO at Robin ruining their moment 😂

Wait, where are the Russian guards?

… ohhh I think I know based on the sounds coming off that radio, my god

Ooh did Dmitri break through with Yuri and convince him to do the right thing? :O

Max writing “hi” and Lucas writing “hi :D” back

“I’m glad you’re here” - AWWWW

He asked her to a movie on Friday and she drew him a cute picture 🤧

Okay but WILL Vecna take the bait or not is the question?

Max taking her headphones off… Here we go.

I had a fleeting thought of what if he decides to take Lucas instead??? They’re expecting him to go for Max but Lucas is there too?!?

Mike made goggles out of pizza boxes, I’m-

Argyll interrupting Mileven to give them pizza!

Ewww okay so Eleven: she’s an 11 but she likes pineapple on pizza 🤢

“Do you remember that time you told me you had Lego stuck up your nose?” - I SPAT OUT MY COFFEE WHAT THE FUCK JONATHAN

“You used to come to me more for help” — aww :(

“I’ve been distanced-“ “Stoned.” - LOL

Aww Byers brothers sharing a hug :3 and Will getting emotional 🥹

“I love you: there is nothing in this world that will change that” - TELL ME THIS WOULD NOT BE JONATHAN’S REACTION TO WILL COMING OUT??? This should have at LEAST been a prompt for Will to come out to him maybe???

Eleven found Max!

… oh no. No, it’s not working??? Vecna isn’t taking the bait???

Max saying Vecna was right, Billy made her life hell, she would pray for something awful to happen to him… “I didn’t know if he deserved to be saved” OOF

“So now when I lie in bed at night, I pray something terrible will happen to me.” - MAX SWEETIE NO 😭

I KNEW AS SOON AS LUCAS STARTED SAYING BAD STUFF THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY VECNA

Oh gosh come on Eleven, save the day

We get to see a little Max memory of her skating

WHOOOO EDDIE SHREDDING THE ELECTRIC GUITAR

“Chrissy, this is for you” - I’M NOT OKAY

Demobats!!!!!

“Where are you going, Maxine?” Oh fuck no I’m out

NOT THE BILLY SAUNA DOOR THING

NOT THE BASKETBALL CREW HITTING AND HURTING ERICA FUCK THEM

Let me say it again, Eddie shred the FUCK outta that guitar solo

Max’s memory is the snow ball dance…

Dustin: “Most. Metal. EVERRRRR!” Bless

NOOOO the Russian glass cage things are broken?!?!

Sooo… monster got in, guards tried to stop it, gunfire shattered the tanks, others came alive :O Particles = The Shadow, which went into the monster(s)?

By the way, this whole plan of “hey, while Max distracts Vecna and probably gets herself killed, let’s sneak up into the attic in the upside down and stab/burn him while he’s in a trance” is fucking stupid 💀

Ohhhh that’s a LOT of vines on the floor

Robin worrying because she’s clumsy, she’ll tread on them, and Nancy holds her hand and says it’s okay??? RONANCY FANS RISE UP

“Shouldn’t you be playing with dolls?” “Should you bag your face?” YOUNG MAX IS A SAVAGE

Wait, the song from the Snow Ball (Every breath you take)?

I was singing along to that song and then I let out a scream because the balloon popped 💀

Speaking of balloons popping, what is this, Stephen King’s IT??? 🤡

Ohhh now the music’s changed to Dream a Little Dream of Me, which was playing in the Creel house and was what Victor was listening to

Well this took a sharp turn… the flowers are withering, blood is everywhere…

LET ERICA GO, FUCK 😤

Oh NO NOT JASON IN THE ATTIC

He thinks Lucas is doing some cult shit to Max (a la Hellfire Club)

JASON PUT THE FUCKIN GUN AWAY MAN

He wants Lucas to wake Max up or he’ll shoot???

“Or are we supposed to read your mind” lmao Murray

Nooo why does Hopper need to he demo-bait 😬

Not Joyce remembering Bob because Bob did exactly the same thing and she watched him die in front of her 😭

“I still got a date to make, remember?” “I am not having another funeral” - I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS I WANT TO CRY

Awww now there’s a tender Jopper kiss in addition to the down and dirty one

The demobats are on the roof… they can’t get in, right?

OH WAIT YEP THEY CAN 🤧

Watching Steve/Robin/Nancy dodge the vines made me extremely anxious to be honest

NOOOOOOOO NOT ROBIN

NOT STEVE FUCK FUCK FUCK

AND ALSO NANCY TOO WHAT THE FUCK

(They’re not dead, just being strangled by vines inside the house)

I can’t do this, I’m not strong enough for this show 💀

Not the demodog chasing Hopper 😭 meanwhile the demobats are coming through the vent

Dustin climbed back through the portal and then Eddie cUT THE ROPE NOOOOOO

Eddie trying to buy more time 😭 don’t do it, Eddie, the town don’t deserve it

Somehow I don’t think barricading the door with fold up chairs is going to stop Vecna, Max lmao

Oh god that chiming is going to haunt my fucking nightmares

Vecna appearing behind Max definitely scared me, Jesus Christ

Nooooo leave Max alone!!!

Lucas trying to convince Jason but of course Jason is a toolbag and too far gone

“I never should have let you in the door” “and I never should have knocked” OH SHIT

Lucas called Jason a raging psychopath, which is quite accurate to be honest

Sinclair siblings once again kicking ass at the same time, we love to see it

WAIT DID JASON JUST BREAK THE MUSIC PLAYER

COME ON ELEVEN HELP MAX PLEASE

“Much braver than your brother” OOF OKAY VECNA JESUS

Oh no no no no he’s gonna do the thing-

ELEVEN YESSSSSS SHE SAVED MAX THANK GOD

V: You. // E: Hi. *throws him through a wall*

Dustin trying to jump back up into the ceiling portal using furniture and then he hurt his leg falling though :(

NOOO EDDIE NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

Jason needs to leave everyone alone smh what an ass

ElMax checking on each other :3

“Are you real? Did I make you?” “I’m real.” “How?” “I piggy-backed from a pizza freezer.” “… what?” — LMFAO

Oh of course Vecna is up again 😭

“If you touch her again, I’ll kill you again” — OOF GO OFF

Vecna is right though, technically she didn’t kill him before, just sent him through that portal 🤷🏻

Max really tried to run up behind Vecna and stab him when she was being noisy as fuck

Yeah no Eleven’s getting her ass beat in this fight I won’t lie

Goddammit now he’s attached El to the door with vines

NOT CHRISSY’S DEAD BODY IN THE BACKGROUND JUST CHILLING

Vecna has Max 😥😓😰

She told him Papa is dead and Vecna paused

“He is the monster, Henry. Not you.” OOF.

“He was just a man. An ordinary mediocre man.” - DAMN TRUE THO

“He did not make me into this. You did.” - … Vecna is telling the truth technically 😬

The flashback showing him exploring this “realm unspoilt by mankind” and it looks like a barren shit hole to me 😫

So the particle cloud… helped him become a predator???

THE MIND FLAYER??? And young Henry/Vecna’s drawing IDENTICAL to Will’s???

So has this all always been Vecna or…?

“Sought a means to open my own doors” (showing S3) - so was THAT Vecna????

I love the contrast of the red lighting in the Eleven/Vecna scene vs the blue in literally all the others but especially Lucas/Jason’s fight

NOOO NOT HOPPER IN THE SAME POSITION AS BOB IN S2

NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONO NOT EDDIE NOT EDDIE

Erica, come on girl! Jason is literally about to strangle Lucas to death!

“But now I just want you to watch” - oh shit

NOT MAX, LEAVE HER ALONE

Mike/Will/Jonathan/Argyll trying to wake Eleven up…

Will telling Mike he’s “the heart” and Mike saying “I love you” to El… I’m so tired. I’m so tired of Will’s obvious sexuality/crush being used to further a straight couple

Not Mike claiming his life was only meaningful after meeting Eleven 💀 and the flashbacks to the very first episode when they met, I’m so done with this

Wait, are the vines uncurling from around Eleven???

COME ON LUCAS PULL THROUGH

Noooo MAX’S ARMS AND LEG ARE DOING THE SNAPPY THING I CANNOT WATCH

Joyce rescuing Hopper by electrocuting that demodog 😥

OH SHIT THATS A DEMOGORGAN

TELL ME MAX IS OKAY NOW, RIGHT?!?

Murray kicking ass with the flamethrower!!!

Oh thank fuck Steve/Nancy/Robin are released and okay

Ewww not the squelchy noises when they all walk around 🤢

Well, Hopper, looks like shooting a demogorgan didn’t work…

IS THAT A FUCKING SWORD?!? HE GONNA FIGHT IT WITH A SWORD?!?

RoStAncy found Vecna - come on, guys, prove this plan wasn’t shit

“The beginning of the end” - eyyy it’s the season 4 tagline!

Not them playing Running Up That Hill again, I’m already a mess 💀

OH SHIT THEY’RE BURNING HIM

Oh wait no he’s up again, ROBIN THROW ANOTHER MOLOTOV PLEASE

NANCY SHOOT HIM OH MY GOD

HOPPER SLICED THAT DEMOGORGAN’S ARM CLEAN OFF

Oh sHIT NANCY ANNIHILATED HIM

Wait… what do you mean there’s still 40 FUCKING MINUTES TO GO?!?!

IS Max okay??? And Eddie???

NOPE EDDIE’S DYING FOR FUCK SAKE I’m so upset he was my favourite newbie 😭😭😭

“I didn’t run away this time, right?“ STOP IT RIGHT NOW

Eddie didn’t even get to graduate 😭🤧 this was supposed to be his year, I’m so upset-

NAH FUCK THIS SHOW FUCK IT

CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR MAX PLEASE I CAN’T LOSE HER AS WELL

No no no no I hate this, this is awful, she’s blind and can’t see and she’s so scared and she’s crying 😭

Max crying and panicking because “I can’t see, I’m so scared, I’m not ready to go, I want to go on” I’M SOBBING, NO, NO, NO, FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW

Lucas sobbing as she dies I can’t fucking STAND THIS FUCKING SHOW FUCK THIS

Four chimes… oh no. Oh no no no no NO.

AFTER ALL THAT, VECNA STILL WINS BECAUSE IT’S OPENING THE BIG GATE ANYWAY???

Karen and Little Holly 😭

Holy FUCK, Hawkins is actually well and truly FUCKED this time

… Is Eleven trying to bring Max back to life??? Is that even possible???

Not the ElMax flashbacks making me tear up again 😭

Don’t get my hopes up, I can’t take it if my hopes are raised and smashed down again

Cut to black and… two days later??? Excuse me??? WHt the fuck happened???

Ohhh that’s a lot of cars leaving Hawkins

Oh shit the smoke coming off of Hawkins?!?!

So they’re saying it was this ridiculously traumatic earthquake???

Not them all believing it’s Hellfire’s fault still :/ and that Eddie is still guilty, fuck this town-

“Doorway into hell” - oof, that’s one way to put it I guess

Eyyy Mike finally reuniting with his family and Will reuniting with his friends, and Jancy seeing each other too!!

“You can forget about college” - LMFAO

Okay, now why is Lucas at the hospital??? Again, do NOT get my hopes up!

Wait, is Max in a coma????

Lucas reading to Max 😭

I can’t get over Lucas and Eleven hugging?!! They’ve come so far since S1 when he hated her 😭

They don’t know if Max will wake up or why she hasn’t yet :( they’re saying she died for like a minute but then a miracle (Eleven) happened

Eleven holding Max’s hand and telling her “I’m here” :’(

Nancy and the others are donating their stuff because of the disaster, that makes sense

I love how ready Steve and Robin are to help 🤧❤️

Vickie?!?! Oh that’s awkward… I love Amybeth tho

“Was my boyfriend” — ohhh aye? 👀

Her saying she should have dumped him for disliking “fast times” lmfao

“It’s like my mouth is running faster than my brain” - oh her and Robin are so suited to each other

Listen… Vickie could still be bisexual, okay, just because she dated a guy it doesn’t mean she can’t date girls 🤷🏻

I hate that people have been graffiti-ing Eddie’s missing poster 😭

Dustin has Eddie’s guitar pick neck chain 🥺

I feel so bad for Eddie’s uncle 😢

When Dustin started crying over Eddie and telling Eddie’s uncle that Eddie was a hero, I lost it

“He fought and died to protect this town that hated him” - I CAN’T 😭 Eddie deserved so much fucking better

Hopper’s cabin???

Jonathan: *pointing to massive gaping hole in ceiling* Well, that’s a bit of a problem — 😂😂😂😂

Aww they’re fixing up the cabin :3

Argyll gathering mushrooms 🤣

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” “I’m actually kinda glad you weren’t… I mean, that you were with Mike” - suuure, Nancy -_-

Why did I feel like they were about to go on a break during this scene 💀

Nancy saying Steve’s grown quite a bit as a person… true but girl seriously

“Are we okay?” “… yeah.” — Nancy, you did NOT sound very sure

Oof Jonathan had the perfect opportunity to tell Nancy about his plans for college but he didn’t :/

Will knowing 001 isn’t dead because he can feel him hurting… o_0

So will Vecna be in S5, and if so will his first target be Will because lord knows that boy has a LOT of trauma to feed off of

Is that coke bottle from when El and Max played spin the bottle in S3? That feels like so long ago now 😭

So apparently Eleven couldn’t find Max in that mindscape/black area thing? (I don’t know what to call it, I’m sorry 😭)

IT’S HOPPER, A FATHER DAUGHTER REUNION IM CRYING ALL OVER AGAIN OH MY GOD

She kept the door open 3 inches always and never stopped believing 😭😭😭😭

“Your hair…” “My hair? Your hair!” - THEY BOTH LOST THEIR HAIR IM SO-

“I kinda stole your look, kid, what you think?” “Bitching” - 😭❤️

JOYCE AND EL REUNITING ❤️

I do wonder if the Hoppers and Byers will be one big family now because Jopper is a thing 🤔🙂

Oh no… no, not the Will Neck Tingle™️

Oh damn, it went from sunny to overcast VERY quickly

It’s snowing??? It’s spring break so it shouldn’t be snowing???

Plants rotting/dying… ash in the sky I think? (So is it ash or is it snow?)

Joyce and Hopper holding hands 🥺

SHIT, THAT’S WHERE THEY END THIS SEASON, ON THAT CLIFFHANGER

SEASON 5 WHEN?!?!?

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rose2jam · 3 years

Text

Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults. I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever. This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something. The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies. But this Leader? This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way. Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered. That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others. Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families. Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in. He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them. I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever. But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin. Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside. And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him. Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader. Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded. Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above. Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters. He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1). Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be. Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her. (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life. And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical. Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back. For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental. This friendship is everything. Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts. Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life. But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up. Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black. So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3). And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat. And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4). What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience. He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible. During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place. It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5). But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6). He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus. On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily. So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this? He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers). But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members. McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol). So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles. As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with. His dorm mates became his family. So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily. Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic? Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8). At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word. He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds. Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse. So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life. By Muggles and Magic Folk alike. And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light. He betrayed her as well, of course. But he did try to show remorse. And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.

So. Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here. Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate. For what? For power, for a family, for a community. For a world where he is no longer the weird one. For a world where he’s respected, strong. For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult. Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House. Maybe he was recruited directly. Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life. And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions. There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play. Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right. (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family. Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult. On the contrary, I feel sorry for them. Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them. Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”. But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end. They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart. I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done. But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany. This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers. There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2. Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware. As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family. The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks. Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry. Back to Snape. There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation. This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this). Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however. In the end, he manages to break away from the cult. The scales fall from his eyes. In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off. What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life. He was brought back by genuine love. Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

#Snape Meta #Severus Snape #Pro Snape #Snapedom #Snape Community #This will be the TRUE test of the tags #Essay Jam #Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

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romeo must die

this one-shot is based on the song Romeo Must Die by Gabrielle Aplin, I highly recommend listening to it! shout out to @eugeniaslongsword for introducing me to it :) i even borrowed some lyrics from it haha. it is also inspired by the entire playlist I made, "being treated badly by someone doesn't make you love them more"

content warnings: past toxic/unhealthy relationship, the uncomfy 6-year age gap between Alastair and Charles

Masterlist | Read on AO3

"Alastair, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

Alastair looked up from what he was working on. He was in the library of the Institute, along with Cordelia, Thomas, James, Matthew, and Christopher. They were searching for any clue as to how Lucie had done what she’d done or what Tatiana and Belial were planning. Alastair wasn't entirely sure how he got roped into the ordeal, but it seemed as though Thomas suggested him as an extra set of eyes, and Cordelia latched onto the idea.

"No," he said curtly, returning to his reading.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm quite busy at the moment." Alastair spoke under his breath, not wanting to draw the others' attention. How many times had Charles barked the same words at him, swatting him away, hacking away at paperwork or planning his next step in his career? The words sat bittersweet in his chest.

"Surely you could spare a few moments."

"I certainly could. But I do not wish to." Charles had a way of getting into his head and twisting his words and his feelings. It was not an experience he wished to revisit. It was better here, with an audience. It had also been easier in the infirmary, knowing that he held all of the power. His father had made him feel the same way, he thought bitterly. He understood now that what he'd done at school was not only to protect himself from the bullies. He wanted to reclaim the power stolen from him by his father; he wanted for once in his life to hold power himself. He hadn't yet come to the realization that holding that kind of power did nothing but harm. It was of no use, anyways, because it didn't matter how much he perfected his tongue and his wit on the other students at the Academy, he was never able to use it when it counted. Not with Elias, and not with Charles.

"It's fine if you need to take a few minutes, Alastair,” Cordelia said gently. All of the eyes in the room had come to rest on the two of them. Now he wished he’d spoken louder.

“It’s alright, Charles was just leaving.”

He had hoped that Charles would give up and leave knowing that everyone was watching him, but he was determined. He grabbed Alastair’s arm. “It’ll just be-”

Alastair stood, but pulled his arm away. “Don’t touch me.”

In a flicker, Alastair saw it: the anxiety began to set in. Charles began to realize that he would not be able to play his usual tricks. “Why are you acting like this?”

“I believe I was quite clear when I told you I don’t wish to speak with you. You’re the one who can’t let this go.”

“Must you act so childish?”

He rolled his eyes. “Must you always call me childish for thinking for myself instead of catering to your every whim?”

“I don’t understand. You said we were fine.”

Alastair sighed. Perhaps for a moment, he thought that was true. For just a second, he thought there was a world where he and Charles could be friends. But Alastair had decided that he would no longer call people who hurt him his friends. “Yes, well, I lied. I wanted to let you down gently, but it’s clear to me now that it must be spelled out for you. How shall I put this? You and I are past our dancing days, Charles.”

“But-” He stammered, searching for words. “What happened with Grace Blackthorn wasn’t my fault.”

“Maybe not. But what of Miss Bridgestock? Am I to pretend that what happened with Miss Blackthorn was not the same as what happened two years earlier?”

“You told me many times that you took no issue with that, that you understood.”

“I understood what you told me, which we both know was never the full truth. I was a sixteen year old desperate for your affections, and the fact that you truly believe I never had any issue with your arrangement is proof that you never genuinely cared about me or listened to my thoughts. I told you in the infirmary that this wasn’t your fault because I thought it’d ease the pain, but I lied. And I don’t have time to sit here and watch you cry over it.”

Alastair wished that watching Charles become flustered would have been more enjoyable. Instead, all he wanted was for this to end. “You- you’re different than when we met. You’ve changed. You’re cruel and callous, I don’t understand how I could not see how heartless you were until now. You are everything that everyone claims you to be. How am I to even know what the truth is when it comes from your lips?”

There was a time when those words would have cut deeply into him, eating at his every insecurity, but Charles mistakenly assumed that Alastair was the same person he was last July, with the same insecurities. “When we met, I was fourteen years old. I’ve grown up, and it is time for you to do the same. It’s been six months, Charles. You need to stop writing me. If that makes me heartless, I don’t care. And if you wish to know the truth, the truth is that the moment you leave here, if I never see your face again, it still will not be long enough.”

Charles stared at him for a long while, unable to find a proper retort. In the end, it was Matthew who stepped in. “Charles, I believe it’s time for you to go.”

He obliged, finally turning to leave the library. As he began to walk away, however, Alastair knew that he was not finished. His heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of such a confession, and faster again when he realized who would hear it, but there was no piece of parting with Charles that he wished to regret.

“Wait,” he said. Charles froze and turned to look at him. “I know it’s unlikely that you have it in the cold depths of your soul to care, but let the record show that I would have given you everything. I would have given you my life, all of the love and trust that I had to give, and then I would have given more. And you gave me nothing. So the next time you’re pondering my heartlessness, you ought to wonder what that means for you.”

Finally satisfied, Alastair did not wait for Charles to turn and leave again to return to his seat and pick his reading back up. He waited for a moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him. He stood once more, opening his mouth to speak, but the words were caught in his throat. Instead, he walked out of the library in silence.

Finding the nearest balcony, he attempted to steady his breath.

“Are you alright?” He heard from behind him. Thomas. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He shook his head. “I just needed some air.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Alastair sighed. He backed up against the window and slid down to the floor of the balcony. “I know- I know that everyone sort of knew already, but… by the Angel, I feel so pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Thomas told him, sitting down beside him.

“You were right, of course you were. I was so… taken with him, back in Paris. I couldn’t see him for what he was. I was so naive, so foolish. I just- After everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve been through, how did I not realize-”

Thomas put his hand on Alastair’s knee. “You wanted to see the best in him. After everything you’d seen and been through, you wanted to believe that there were still good and honest people in the world. And there are. I’m sorry that he was not one of them, but that does not make you foolish or pathetic. It makes you… kind.”

“I bet you’d never imagined describing me as such before.”

“It seems you’re full of surprises,” Thomas teased. “But that’s not true. I always saw the kindness in you, even back at school, when you did everything to keep it hidden.”

“As you can see, my ‘kindness’ has never gotten me very far.”

“You were out of practice. Following me on my reckless nighttime patrols, that was kind. More than kind. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that, for risking your life to protect mine.”

“I didn’t do it for gratitude.”

“And yet I owe you mine nonetheless.”

“I can’t go back in there, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tolerate you and your friends hating me just fine. But if any of your friends give me even an ounce of pity- well, we’ll see just where the limits of my kindness lie, won’t we?”

Thomas stood up, offering Alastair his hand. “Pity comes from those who cannot even begin to understand what you’ve experienced. For what it’s worth, I don’t think my friends will pity you. But if they do, you can ignore them. For Lucie.”

Alastair sighed and allowed Thomas to pull him to his feet. “Fine. Let’s get back to reading.”

“Speaking of reading, do you have the entirety of Shakespeare’s canon memorized, or only the lines you believe may pop up in conversation?”

“Excuse me?”

“‘For you and I are past our dancing days,’ it’s Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it? It’s the only one of his works that I got through.”

Alastair froze. “You haven’t read Hamlet?”

“I tried.”

“Othello? King Lear? Macbeth? Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

He shook his head.

“That’s impossible. And James is friends with you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Wait until my sister finds out you haven’t read Hamlet,” he warned, starting towards the library with urgency in his step.

“Wait, don’t- I just don’t like Shakespeare! What’s so wrong with that?” Thomas’ attempts at reasoning were futile, however, a welcome distraction from all of their recent sorrows finally taking hold.

Thanks for reading!! This was self indulgent af lol. I'm not to sure whether some people only wanted to be tagged in my social media AU, so if that's the case I'm sorry & please tell me!: @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @thecodexsays @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @icouldnotask @shadowhunting-hooligans @melanielocke @clarys-heosphoros @kiwichaeng @lightwoodsimp @thecrimsonsorceresss @theenchanteddreamer @adams-left-hand @yozinha-z @ipromiseiwillwrite @skirtsandsweaters @goodoldfashionednerd

#alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #if you're a charles apologist just block me #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #cw toxic relationship #coi spoilers #fanfiction #fanfic

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gold-kobold · 3 years

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How To Fight A Shadow

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19: Dirt

Dictatious (reluctantly) gets some new perspective.

happy new years!! have more gay trolls lol

(and the light merlin roasting mentioned earlier fhgshdjfg)

Tone was all Dictatious had left these days. He couldn’t use visual cues in body language anymore to warn himself of potential aggression. He couldn’t read facial expressions anymore. He couldn’t anticipate when somebody might take a swing at him. Every waking moment, he was made constantly aware of how defenseless he was to these things. If only his damned eyes weren’t so bloody useless.

Not that Angor would ever take a swing at him… but, you can never be too careful.

Angor Rot was still angry. He must be. He couldn’t see for himself, but he could hear it. He could feel it.

At the same time, he knew he was wrong. Dictatious’s mind was tricking him again. He knew this was the case, he knew he was just overreacting.

But what if he wasn’t?

But he is. Great Gronka Morka’s sake, it’s the very reason why Angor keeps going out of his way to reassure him, why couldn’t his brain just accept that he’s genuinely not a threat?

No matter what logic told him, every sound that came from Angor just sounded angry, whether it was walking just slightly heavier than normal, the way he carved, even the way he’d simply talk with the Trollhunters, it all sounded angry even though it wasn’t.

Dictatious knew, he knew he was just being ridiculous at this point, or imagining it, or whatever the case may be, but he couldn’t turn off whatever part of himself was reacting this way, and he hated it so much. Every involuntary flinch his body made at the most menial and harmless of noises made him want to break something.

Gods, he was going to give Angor some kind of a complex at this rate.

Dictatious had kept his distance from Angor until well into the night, and even then, it was the assassin that approached him first. It was later into the night, at Dictatious’s usual spot in front of the TV to pass the time, when Angor Rot entered the living room.

“Dictatious?”

Hearing that voice stirred up apprehension within him. “Yes?” He replied, trying his damndest to not let it show.

He could hear the larger troll taking a seat in the chair across the room. Perhaps falsely so, Dictatious could swear he felt that lone eye scanning him more closely than usual. “You’ve seemed rather upset all day.” Angor Rot pointed out to him.

It was clearly an invitation to talk again, now that Angor’s calmed himself down, but at the same time, it just brought Dictatious’s attention back to how utterly transparent he was to this troll. Even more so, it brought his attention that Angor kept showing concern instead of the rage Dictatious’s instincts screamed at him to keep expecting.

He already knew the answer to the question he was tempted to ask. But he didn’t. But he did. This was so aggravating. The only proper way to calm his overdramatic nerves was to get an answer for himself. He took a breath, doing everything in his power not to let his voice shake, and very hesitantly asked, “Are you still angry with me…?”

That uncertainty in his voice, along with the slightest note of fear, brought another sigh out of Angor. It didn’t surprise him at all that Dictatious would still be dwelling on their argument.

“I’m not… angry with you…” He said, in spite of his earlier outburst. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t still a little annoyed, but… “I just don’t get how someone who’s usually so intelligent can’t understand something so simple.”

The Conundrum didn’t have a response for that. His ears pressed back, and he avoided looking in Angor’s direction as best that he could manage.

Angor’s eyes rested on Dictatious’s apprehensive form for a long moment more. “... I am sorry if I scared you.” He said quietly.

Dictatious’s first instinct was to deny that claim. His second was to change the topic completely. What he blurted out instead was “It’s okay.”

Like that response was any better. It was basically an admittance of fear. Through gritted teeth, Dictatious tried to push past that, and grabbed hold onto the topic that started this whole problem in the first place rather than dwelling on the fear aspect of things. “What’s so supposedly simple about it, anyway?”

“I don’t know how to explain it to you. It just is.” Angor replied. As if that could be of any help. Frowning slightly, he asked, “Hadn’t you seen Nomura’s interview about these things? She put it into words better than I possibly could.”

Sure, neither of them were there when it first came on, but Angor knew Dictatious had been present when replays and discussions of it were rerun. And with how much Dictatious stays on top of the news…

Clearing his throat, Dictatious hesitantly admitted, “Well, yes, but…”

He thought twice about finishing that thought.

“It’s not really something I…” Another pause, heavy frown as he deliberated his words, then tried again, “I mean, I’ve never really…” Taken it seriously? Paid attention to? All these ways of describing it felt like Angor would take it the wrong way–

“It’s not something you’ve ever cared about.” Angor guessed to finish the thought for him, well aware of where that was going. He highly doubted that Changeling plights were something Dictatious was invested in.

Though Angor was right on the money, Dictatious didn’t even want to admit it anymore. That irrational fear that’d been haunting him all day was being replaced with an even more irrational flicker of shame, one that’d taken root in how harshly Angor was judging him over this. His eyes flicked away, but he did give a slight nod of admittance.

What right did Angor even have to be surprised at these things anymore? Why would he take seriously the plights of a species he so openly scorns?

Gumm-Gumms viewed Changelings as tools. Really, Angor Rot should’ve come to expect Dictatious’s negative view of them. Yet, somehow, this all still caught him so off-guard.

With a snort, Angor pulled out a half-finished totem to work on, and said, “You know, when you speak about Changelings like you were earlier, you sound exactly like those humans that think of all our kind as mindless beasts.”

That comment brought an annoyed look to Dictatious’s face for a split second, though it vanished fairly quickly. Being compared to those idiot fleshbags was something Angor knew would bother him. Plus, it’s not like he could deny it with how he had been acting on this topic. But it was different… wasn’t it?

It felt different, like that comparison shouldn’t be justifiable at all, but at the same time… Dictatious had no argument against it. Nothing he hasn’t already said that Angor’s so fiercely objected to.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Dictatious’s quiet voice eventually admitted in frustration, the troll still pointedly aiming his gaze away from Angor.

“If avoiding a bad reaction from me is still the only thing you’re focusing on, then we’re at an impasse.” Angor replied, chipping away at his carving. “And clearly, nothing I say can help you understand this... There are some things you should hear from a Changeling’s mouth instead, not mine.”

But how likely was that to happen when you’ve made it so clear that they’re dirt to you?

That must’ve been the thought going through Angor’s head right now. Something along those lines, Dictatious was certain. And he was in no position to deny it. But why should he even want to?

Before the discomforting conversation had a chance to continue, a different discomforting presence had shown up. One unfortunately known as Merlin.

“Angor Rot.” He addressed the assassin in that impertinent tone of his. “We need to talk.”

The sigh that comment got out of Angor was a quiet one, but very disgruntled. At this point, Dictatious wasn’t sure if that was his fault or Merlin’s. He would assume Merlin’s for his own peace of mind.

Still, Angor got up, and left the house with Merlin, not another word to be spoken.

Ever since Angor left, Dictatious couldn’t shake this strong feeling of discomfort. Distracting himself with the TV didn’t work. Pacing around the house to stretch his legs didn’t work. Going through their conversation over and over again in his head definitely didn’t work.

Being compared to those humans was really getting under his skin. Along with some of the other language Angor had used.

‘Can’t understand something so simple’... What is there to understand? If anything, Angor was the one not understanding.

It was so hard for Dictatious to wrap his head around the concept of Changelings as equal. Equal in value to proper trolls, anyways… and it’s not like he was in the minority thinking that way, most other full trolls felt the same way, Gumm-Gumm or not. But if Angor of all people was getting so worked up about this…

Maybe the fact that it was Angor was the problem. He liked Angor. He just got Angor back. Is this pointless disagreement causing another rift so soon?

He would have to find a way to correct it. There was that interview that Angor had mentioned… that could be worth viewing, if it made him happy? If Dictatious was remembering correctly, there were supposedly even more of those videos with other Changelings too. But he’d have to wait for reruns, and who knows when that would-

Oh, wait. No he didn’t. The Internet exists.

All he’d need is a laptop.

Claire was the first human of the bunch that’d ran into him next. Asking for the humans’ assistance felt very awkward, but better her than Toby; she’s far less irritating to speak to. And he was lucky in that he managed to get assistance before they all went to bed for the night. Claire found exactly the playlist he was looking for in a matter of minutes.

The girl set up her laptop for Dictatious, bringing him to a playlist of all available interviews so far, was even kind enough to show him which buttons on the keyboard controlled the video play. The space bar to pause was the easiest to hit, but the arrow keys were a little harder to navigate… Dictatious eventually got the hang of it through feeling the spaces between the buttons. Once Claire made sure he had it figured out well enough, she left him to it.

The whole concept of this ‘show’ was a strange one… It always struck Dictatious as seeming repetitive. All the talking points were so similar. ‘How did you feel when you met your first family? Why don’t you tell me your work problems? What was it like for you in the Darklands?’ I don’t know, dark, maybe? It was basically a discount therapy session for the whole Impure population, and it frankly sounded boring to Dictatious.

But it was meant as a place for their voices to be heard. That’s all there was to it, apparently.

Given how hot a topic this is for humans, there doesn’t have to be much more reason than that to justify the show’s existence. As long as it’s raking in viewers, it’ll likely stay running for a while.

The first video was Nomura’s interview. This one he did remember somewhat, although he made more of an effort to tune into it mentally this time. This was the only one, as far as he knew, that had those other talk show hosts on it…

The next video held a pair of voices he didn’t recognize… Twins, they’d clarified.

‘Twins’ in the loosest form of the term, anyways. As if the Impure half can even be counted in that.

This pair, or the Changeling, rather, described their betrayal to the Janus Order, and the ways in which other Changelings would do the same, through ‘faking deaths’ or what have you… An instinctual jab of irritation hit Dictatious as he listened. He knew he was supposed to be coming into this objectively, he knew there were plenty of traitor Changelings around, but hearing them come out of the woodworks and confess to their blatant betrayals just rubbed him the wrong way. He’d have to shake that off, though, as he’d likely be hearing more along those lines…

The next video held an even heavier focus on identity, or lack thereof… the next one even more so… or maybe he was just noticing it more as time passed? He couldn’t quite tell.

Dictatious found himself having to replay certain parts to make sure he wasn’t disregarding any details (even if they were repetitive). Often times found himself wondering why he was even bothering with this when he felt fairly certain viewing these recordings wouldn’t change anything…

Well… he supposed he could consider it ‘interesting’ from a behavioural standpoint, at least.

As each video progressed, more and more Changelings recounted similar feelings of unhappiness in their roles… Identity crises, inadequacy, a whole slew of other mental problems…

They all had different experiences, but the overlying root of the problem was eerily similar. Not in the sense that Dictatious didn’t expect them to share similar feelings to what Angor was trying to tell him, but in the sense that it felt… too familiar.

He tried to push that sensation out of his mind. It didn’t make sense for it to be there in the first place. Nothing about this should feel familiar. His brain was just playing tricks on him again, he convinced himself.

But with each video, that sensation grew the smallest bits stronger. Especially when it came to discussing the Underlord himself. As much as he may have tried, he couldn’t shake this growing uneasiness.

The next Changeling that came on, an older higher-ranked one similar to Strickler, much further irritated his nerves.

She had been calm, for the most part. Discussing time spent in the Darklands, responsibilities involved in mentoring younger Changelings on their duties… but Desmund was the one to bring up Gunmar, and her tone noticeably shifted from friendly and open to a much colder demeanor.

“I didn’t have much interaction with Gunmar in person,” She answered, drumming her claws along her skin, “but he was never pleasant to be around, so that arrangement suited me fine. Going near him is like waiting for a time bomb to go off, except without the luxury of knowing when.”

“I can imagine–”

“No, you really can’t.” She cut him off. “With all due respect, I doubt you know what it’s like to dedicate yourself to someone who gets off on making your life as hellish as possible.”

The harshness of her words was contradicted by the icy calm of her voice. Desmund leaned back in his chair, nodded slowly, and admitted, “You’re right. I’m sorry if that came off as patronizing.”

It was obviously not his intention, so she just nodded and said, “You’re forgiven.”

Desmund slowly leaned forward again. “If I may ask… What was Gunmar like to you in person?”

Not many Changelings dealt with him up close on a consistent basis. Dictatious knew that. In fact, he was often the one to oversee their progress, or pass messages between the Darklands Changelings and the Underlord. Considering how far beneath Gunmar their kind stood, this ungrateful Impure should’ve considered it an honour to be one of the rare few chosen to work closer to him.

And yet, the discomfort in her voice when she next spoke was palpable in a way that Dictatious, yet again, found distressingly recognizable.

Her slitted eye flicked to one side, but she did end up nodding at Desmund’s question. “You know from my colleagues that he thought nothing of us outside of our tactical uses. His disdain was obvious every time he spoke to me. And he often had these…” She paused, clearing her throat, and continued, “... violent episodes. It wasn’t uncommon to lose a soulless soldier or two over his little tantrums… but…”

The Changeling tried to sound calm, distanced from the words she spoke, but it wasn’t hard to hear the tones underneath. Fear, shame, pain… layers upon layers of emotion peeled back with every word she confessed, and it wasn’t hard for the human to catch onto this.

“If this is too much for you…” Desmund said softly, “... we can stop anytime.”

“I’m okay. Thank you, though.” She did take a moment to collect herself, closing her eyes and regaining focus. “... I’m far from the only one who spent my worst years in that prison. Being around Gunmar with that hairpin trigger temper he had didn’t make things any better.” Her voice darkened with every word against him. “He had this… this way of speaking, this look in his eye, where you just knew something was about to set him off. And when it did–”

Click. Dictatious’s hand moved faster than his thoughts did to hit that pause button. He couldn’t explain why he was suddenly out of breath. Nor why he was shaking so hard.

Maybe he could, but he didn’t want to.

His left hands began rubbing their opposite arms, as if some kind of subconscious attempt at soothing himself. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, though each one felt disrupted by his own trembling.

You’re fine, he told himself. You’re fine. Stop being ridiculous.

That’s all this was. Ridiculousness. He’d gone and distracted himself from the topic at hand, and for what? Some slanderous drivel out of a Changeling’s mouth? This had nothing to do with anything he should be feeling, and he cursed himself repeatedly for that unjustified physical reaction.

Quickly getting over himself and his pathetic behaviour, he felt around for the play button again.

Hesitated.

Then skipped to the next video in the playlist instead.

And the next voice he'd heard was an unmistakable one, and caught his attention back immediately.

NotEnrique.

“Aw sweet, you guys got one of these bead maze things?! I thought they only existed in waiting rooms!”

The Changeling had barely been on set for two seconds before he was distracted by… well, whatever the object he was referring to is. Dictatious wouldn’t know.

Desmund sounded completely unbothered by NotEnrique’s distracted start. “We thought you might like that.” He said. “We keep them on set for our younger guests.”

“Oi, I’ve got centuries on you people, y’know!” The Changeling adamantly pointed out. That being said, he still slid the beads around in excited fascination.

The conversation between them started like so many others. They discussed his experiences under Gunmar and in the Darklands, though NotEnrique was far from showing any sort of upset over it. He instead focused on his reputation as ‘the life of the party’ and other such nonsense… They talked about his role in the team of Trolhunters, and he pridefully (and perhaps exaggeratedly in some cases) recounted stories of his accomplishments with them.

Then, they talked about Claire.

“So far we’ve seen Changelings get quite attached to their families… From your heroic deeds, I’m guessing you have a similar familial bond with your sister?” Desmund guessed rather confidently. NotEnrique replied in kind.

“Wouldn’t trade ‘er for anything.” He stated with pride. Then he paused, thought about it, and corrected, “Maybe a few really sweaty socks, but nothin’ else!”

“I’m sure she’s flattered to hear that!” Desmund laughed. Then, ever so slightly, there was a shift in the human’s voice. Not a hostile one, but definitely probing for something when he said, “It must’ve been strange, going from enemies to friends so suddenly.”

“Ehh…” NotEnrique squinted at Desmund for a second, but did end up agreeing. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I never really considered her an enemy, just her boyfriend… But, turns out Jim’s cool too, obviously.”

“Was it a hard decision for you? Changing your loyalties like that?”

Now NotEnrique actually took a minute to think about it. His eyes stayed locked on the bead puzzle in front of him, but they were full of thought and deliberation, lacking the mischief that’d previously outshined everything else. “... Not really.” He answered after some time. “I mean, they’re way better company than Bular and bossman were, so it was kinda a no-brainer after a while. Like I just fit better with ‘em.”

“How so?”

“They didn’t hate me for just existing, fer one thing.” NotEnrique muttered, pushing two of the marbles back and forth along the same path repeatedly. "It's like, y'don't really realize you had no place in the world until you find one, ya know? We’re all told to be this one thing, but how’re you supposed to feel like it’s the right thing when everybody you’re supposed to be supporting thinks you’re the worst, anyway?!" He growled, getting increasingly preoccupied with the contraption on the table. Lesser so as a way to distract from the conversation, more so to distract himself from tapping into his emotions deeper than he'd usually like. "The big bossmen didn't care 'bout us. Never cared about anybody, really, but it's like… It's kinda like us even darin' to breathe the same air as 'em was the greatest insult." Scoffing, NotEnrique added as more of a mutter, "S'not like they needed us for their whole entire plan or anything, geez…"

Even though they were needed, they were treated like dirt. Not just by their enemies, but the very people they served. Again and again, this bitterness was getting brought up, and every time, it made Dictatious fidget.

"But it's… it's different with a family… My sis, my friends, they care 'bout me for me. I'm not just 'some dumb Changeling' to 'em, I'm…" His voice dulled from that usual cheeky energy it often held as he went on. "... It was the first time I really… I dunno. Felt like I really belonged somewhere, I guess."

Desmund nodded in understanding, saying, “That must’ve been… overwhelming for you.”

"Yeah. Sorry." NotEnrique muttered, his eyes locked on the bead maze without budging for even a second of eye contact with his host. "This dumb 'emotional' stuff wasn't really part of the Gumm-Gumm program, either."

"It's nothing to apologize for." Desmund assured him. "You should be proud of yourself for all the progress you've made despite that."

Another short laugh, an audibly more uncomfortable one, was all NotEnrique could find to reply with in that moment. Opposite from the loss of energy in his voice, his fiddling with the toy got more erratic as they spoke.

This was… not a side of NotEnrique that Dictatious had ever experienced. He found himself both fascinated and extremely perplexed.

That little gremlin never took things seriously. Not even when they were trying to get him prepared for his position near the Trollhunter. Dictatious remembers very heavily suggesting other options for a spy, even…

NotEnrique obviously sounds uncomfortable being so far out of his element, so why would someone like him display those insecurities on such a wide scale? Dictatious was not close with NotEnrique by any means, but he knew that Changeling even back in the Darklands, and this was so far out of the usual character he portrayed…

Dictatious came to these videos for clarity, and yet kept finding more questions.

The TV host seemed to have picked up on NotEnrique’s increasing discomfort with the situation. In lieu of continuing with this topic, Desmund switched gears all of a sudden. “You hold classes online for humans to learn Trollish, don’t you?”

"Yeah!" NotEnrique's voice immediately lit up at that topic change. Dictatious could hear the shift in enthusiasm clear as a bell. "See, it all started when I taught my sister Trollish… After the war, it was like, 'Hey, why not teach even MORE fleshbags?' and heck, so I did!"

“Why not if you’re good at it, right?” Desmund chuckled. “Where can viewers find your services?”

“I record the livestreams an’ upload ‘em to Youtube at the ‘StealsYourLeftSock’ channel, but I had’ta put the actual classroom invitations behind paywalls an’ stuff.” NotEnrique explained. "It used t' be for free, but we got too many trolls--" He paused, snickering at himself, "Haha, get it? 'Trolls'? Hilarious. But anyway, r’petitive jokes aside, we got too many Internet trolls, the human kind, that'd flood the chats with dumb stuff. So now it's on more'va donation basis, sorta? Sucks that we hafta do it by payment now, but it means we stick to people who actually wanna learn now, for the most part." Shooting a glance directly at the camera, he added, "And any anti-troll shmucks gotta pay me if they wanna waste my time, ha!"

Admittedly, that was a clever business model given the situation, Dictatious could admit. There’s that Changeling slyness he was used to.

"That's not your usual watching material."

Even though that voice was so familiar by now, it still made Dictatious jump when he'd hear it out of nowhere. He managed to slap the spacebar to pause the video, then turning his attention to Angor Rot. It sounded like he was near the doorway, probably having just returned from his outing… but Dictatious could never be sure how long that troll was ever lingering. He dearly hoped Angor hadn’t been there long.

Clearing his throat, Dictatious replied sheepishly, "Erm, no, it really isn't…" His fingers drummed against each other as his eyes flicked around the room, a habit Angor Rot was used to seeing when Dictatious was avoiding 'looking' at him. "I suppose I was… curious?"

To have found him in such a state of disconcertion would usually be cause for worry. But, in this case, it might actually be a good sign.

He got a small hum from Angor in response to that. The larger troll drew closer, getting a better look at the laptop screen. He wasn’t sure how many episodes Dictatious has watched, but it was definitely Desmund’s Changeling interviews he was looking at. “I’m shocked that you actually decided to listen to those…” He rumbled quietly.

“So am I.” Dictatious agreed with a nervous chuckle. Even that forced smile was short-lived, though. He cleared his throat again, feeling Angor’s quizzical gaze stuck on him, hesitant in finding his explanations because he didn’t fully understand them himself. “... I still don’t quite get it, but…” He averted his eyes awkwardly. “This seemed… important to you, so I’m…” Another pause, but those eyes of his eventually found their way back to Angor’s blurred form. “I’m... trying to understand this better...”

Angor Rot blinked in surprise, taken aback by how little time that switch took. He thought for sure the Conundrum was just going to brush this issue under the rug like he did many others, so this was a more-than-welcome subversion of his expectations.

“That’s good to hear.” Angor said. Dictatious could basically hear how the pleasant surprise melted away the tension in him from before. “I’m glad that you’re trying.”

Dictatious cleared his throat, changing the topic instead of acknowledging that praise that’d felt so uncomfortable for some reason. “How did things go with Merlin?”

A habitual shrug rolled off of Angor’s shoulders, even though he knew Dictatious couldn’t see it, but he only replied with, “Nothing worse than normal.”

“And… how bad is ‘normal’...?”

Realizing that choice of words on his part probably wasn’t the most reassuring, Angor was quick to correct himself. “It’s nothing worrisome, Dictatious. He can just be… tiring to be around.”

Dictatious’s troubled frown didn’t leave his face, but he wasn’t about to test his already-shaky luck by prying. “Then I… suppose you should sleep?”

“Perhaps.”

They both knew he wouldn’t. But there was no point in dwelling on that. Angor gave the house a quick look-over, then left out the back door to start his usual patrolling for the night, leaving Dictatious alone once again.

The Conundrum wasn’t about to sleep, either. There were more videos to go through.

#trollhunters #angor rot #dictatious #notenrique #nomura #trollhunters fanfiction

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

Here is my attempt at portraying Peeta’s camouflage skills convincingly 😅😅

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 19-21 are below the cut.

heart

While I love all the banter between Katniss and Peeta, I think my favorite of these three chapters is: “Trust me. Killing things is much easier than this,” I say. “Although for all I know, I am killing you.” “Can you speed it up a little?” he asks. “No. Shut up and eat your pears,” I say. A classic 😄

mind

I always imagined that Cato went after Thresh before coming for Katniss and Peeta because a) Thresh took the backpack for District 2 (which contained the body armor that would make dealing with Katniss’s arrow so much easier) and b) Thresh killed Clove and Cato wanted to avenge her... Although I have no idea how Cato ended up killing Thresh... he was doing pretty well for himself in his grass-y area... Maybe the Gamemakers wanted to punish Thresh for not killing Katniss and generated that thunderstorm and rain to force Thresh out of his refuge, which would give Cato a fair chance to kill him, I guess...

soul

Lol, honestly, since Peeta just generally seems to be motivated by kindness and love/caring, I don’t think it took much for him to keep the star-crossed lovers angle alive (I could easily imagine him actually noticing Katniss in the willow tree early in the Games and offering to take care of the District 8 girl, so the Careers would get the hell out of there, away from Katniss)

Chapter 19:

Peeta, who’s been wounded, is now my ally. [...] I’d loathe any tribute who didn’t immediately ally with their district partner. Besides, it just makes sense to protect each other. - Honestly, this just highlights what a kind person Katniss is, despite her aloof front; her innermost instinct is always to stick together and to protect. Because it doesn’t really make sense for her to team up with Peeta - she knows he’s wounded and won’t be of much help to her, her chances of survival are way better if she stayed on her own, but it’s not something she’d ever consider now that they are allowed to form a team (and only then does she even factor in the whole ‘star-crossed lovers of district 12′ -angle)

Peeta, it turns out, has never been a danger to me. The thought makes me smile. - Aww 😊 (but also, how heart-breaking that the Capitol will do everything in their power to change that, to make Peeta become a danger to Katniss 😢)

He’s very hard to predict, which might be interesting under different circumstances - Okay, but this just makes me think of that exchange in Gilmore Girls when Paris and Rory talk about how you know a guy is right for you: “Someone who’s compatible but not compatible.” “Yeah, kind of. I mean, you respect each other’s opinions and you can laugh at the same jokes, but I don’t know – there’s just something about not quite knowing what the other person’s gonna do at all times that’s just really exciting.” - fits these two to a T 😏

In fact, I’ve just about decided I’m on the wrong track entirely, that a wounded boy would be unable to navigate getting to and from this water source, when I see the bloody streak - Okay, but how flipping tough is Peeta?! He’s severely injured, with multiple tracker jacker stings and he drags himself to this terrain that is almost impossible to navigate for someone in his condition - a sturdy dandelion, indeed!

“You’re here to finish me off, sweetheart?” - What an entrance after having gone AWOL for quite a couple of chapters 👌🏼👏🏼

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” I jerk my head back but end up laughing. “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.” [...] “Katniss?” Peeta says. I meet his eyes, knowing my face must be some shade of green. He mouths the words “How about that kiss?” I burst out laughing - He’s lying in a river bed, slowly dying, and he can still make her laugh 😊

“You know, you’re kind of squeamish for such a lethal person” - It’s such a small comment, but I can’t help but think that Peeta is just kind of intrigued to discover all these little idiosyncrasies that make up the ever-elusive Katniss Everdeen ;)

Impulsively, I lean forward and kiss him, stopping his words. - Aww, she doesn’t even want to consider him dying, so she spontaneously decides to cut him off with a kiss👀👀 Honestly, at this point Peeta has elicited 2 (!) spontaneous kisses (the kiss after the chariot ride and this one) from Katniss, who generally isn’t that big on touching people

“You’re not going to die. I forbid it. All right?” - Stubborn, protective Katniss... But also reminds me of their rooftop “date” in CF and the “Then you’ll allow it?” “I’ll allow it” - exchange

I kiss him awake, which seems to startle him. Then he smiles as if he’d be happy to lie there gazing at me forever. He’s great at this stuff. - KaTNisSs, gurl... 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Chapter 20:

But I knew he was injured. And still I came after him. I’m just going to have to trust whatever instinct sent me to find him was a good one. - The very best of instincts, Katniss, don’t you worry😉

Peeta’s struggling to get up when I reach the cave. “I woke up and you were gone,” he says, “I was worried about you.” - Gah, why are the both of them so good?! They just care for and worry about each other 24/7

“How do you feel?” “Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud,” he says. “Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag... and you.” Oh right, the whole romance thing. - Oh Katniss...😐 I reach out to touch his cheek and he catches my hand and presses it against his lips. I remember my father doing this very thing to my mother and I wonder where Peeta picked it up. - Where did Peeta pick this up? From a time his family was less dysfunctional? Observing couples in the town square? Or is he a fricking disney prince and these things come natural to him? Questions, questions...

“You didn’t sleep,” Peeta says. “I’m all right,” I say. But the truth is, I’m exhausted. “Sleep now. I’ll keep watch.” [...] I test his cheek. Hot as a coal stove. He claims he’s been drinking, but the containers still feel full to me. I give him more fever pills and stand over him while he drinks first one, then a second quart of water. - These two are just too stubborn to take proper care of themselves - good thing that each of them is adamant to force the other to sleep/drink/eat when necessary

“Besides I like watching you sleep. You don’t scowl. Improves your looks a lot.” - When presented with the choice of being flirty vs being a cheeky little shit, Peeta will choose being a flirty cheeky little shit every time 😂

“I’m going to make soup,” I say. “Don’t light a fire,” he says. “It’s not worth it.” - Okay, but what he’s actually saying is “I’m not worth it” 😭😭

Katniss telling that story about buying Prim’s goat😊... A young buck, probably a yearling by his size. His antlers were just growing in, still small and coated in velvet. [...] Beautiful. - We are all very much aware of Peeta’s appreciation for beauty, but the same does apply to Katniss, too (she’s just overall more pragmatic)

“Was it [the goat] still wearing the pink ribbon?″ he asks. “I think so,” I say. “Why?” “I’m just trying to get a picture,” he says thoughtfully. - Peeta is so detail-oriented! I have this theory that this is actually something that enables him to overcome his hijacking; we catch glimpses in MJ of how he inches himself out of his condition by asking/focusing on small details or things most people would dismiss as trivial (Katniss’s favorite color, the color of her dress visiting District 7, her Dad singing the Hanging Tree when Peeta was 6 or 7 years old...) and I feel like it makes a lot of sense - his tormentors in the Capitol either wouldn’t have access to distort these moments or not even consider them to have any significance (since they are all about big, flashy gestures in the Capitol), so these memories would remain untouched. Luckily, Peeta seems to live by Robert Brault’s words: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. “

“Really? What did you cost me again?” I ask. “A lot of trouble. Don’t worry. You’ll get it all back,” he says. - Well, he’s going to cost her a lot more trouble in the future - but we know he’s going to make up for it and bring her much happiness, too 😊

“You’re not risking your life for me.” “Who said I was?” I say. [...] “Of course I’m not going.” [...] “You’re such a bad liar, Karniss.” [...] Anger flushes my face. “All right, I am going, and you can’t stop me!” “I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I’m yelling your name I bet someone can find me. And then I’ll be dead for sure,” he says. - Soo.. their love language is offering to sacrifice their life like it’s nothing, huh?! 😳😅

Peeta eats without complaint, even scraping out the pot to show his enthusiasm. He rambles on about how delicious it is, - lol, sounds like a husband trying to get back on his wife’s good side after they had a row 😂

I clamp my hand over his mouth and nose hard, forcing him to swallow instead of spit. He tries to make himself vomit the stuff up, but it’s too late, he’s already losing consciousness. - Ah, the most important indicator of true love: having person A force-feed person B a sedative so they can run off to get them life-saving medicine ;)

Chapter 21:

I lie next to Peeta in the bag, trying to absorb every bit of his fever heat. It’s strange to be so physically close to someone who’s so distant. Peeta might as well be back in the Capitol, - Reminds me how in MJ she’s going to be so close to Peeta (mentally/emotionally) while he will be physically so distant (in the Capitol!)

a tiny orange one [backpack] [...] that must be marked with a 12 - Interesting how that backpack is orange, huh? Why is that? Are smaller backpacks generally orange (like the one Katniss already has) to be more visible or is this simply to connect the backpack to Peeta (though we don’t know his favorite color at this point)? Do the Gamemakers care whether Katniss gets a matching backpack? It just seems like an unnecessary detail to throw in🤔

The table has just clicked into place when a figure darts out of the Cornucopia, snags the green backpack, and speeds off. Foxface! - Honestly, this was a truly brilliant move; kudos! 👏🏼

[Clove] carefully selects an almost dainty-looking number [knife] with a cruel, curved blade. “I promised Cato if he let me have you, I’d give the audience a good show.” [...] “I think...” she almost purrs. “I think we’ll start with your mouth.” [...] she teasingly traces the outline of my lips with the tip of the blade. - Okay, but the idea of Clove cutting off Katniss’s lips is just all kinds of terrifying and disturbing 😨

“No! No, I-” Clove sees the stone, about the size of a small loaf of bread in Thresh’s hand [...] Thresh brings the rock down hard against Clove’s temple. [...] and I know she’s a goner. - Interesting how Katniss describes that rock that basically saves her life (or at least kills her assailant) as bread-sized, huh? “Your district... they sent me bread. [...] Conflicting emotions cross Thresh’s face. He lowers the rock and points at me, almost accusingly. “Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl.” - Katniss mentions the bread from District 11 as a proof of her alliance with Rue (and the recognition of D11) and Thresh spares her; bread keeps saving her life (while it keeps representing acts of kindness)

Cato kneels beside Clove, spear in hand, begging her to stay with him. - I appreciate this small, humanizing moment with Cato

The last thing I remember is an exquisitely beautiful green and silver moth landing on the curve of my wrist. - I don’t know much about North American insects (not that I know that much about European insects either - just recently came across a relatively rare moth on my walks that I had never seen or heard of before) - is Katniss describing a special/noteworthy species of moth? Or is this a more literary symbolism kind of moth? (Just looked up some symbolism meaning of moths: change/transformation, seeking light; power of regeneration in some Native American mythology, hmm...)

#thgagain #thg #hunger games #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #thg meta #thresh #my sketches and drawings #everlark

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memorys-skyscraper · 3 years

Text

Took over 3 hours to log in today but we’re here

Endwalker day 3 (somehow these keep getting longer)

LMAO these bunnies talking to Urianger like “yeah you seem like someone willing to do some fucked up shit when needed, pls help”

so the sharlayans are the ones sending shit up here, right. like that seems pretty obvious. they investigated the aetherial sea, found hydaelyn, she was like “hey help the buns”, they’ve been doing it in secret ever since

of course Urianger is up to some shady bullshit once again, the expansion wouldn’t be complete without it. could really do without these stealth sections though

Uriangerrrrrrr ;n; I love him SO much, literally one of my top 3 favs, of course this scene is the first to get the waterworks really flowing. his VA is so good too

STOP not this cutscene of him and the buns, don’t do this..... NOT PUDDINGWAY LMAO, good fuckin save Urianger

GOD the writers were really targeting me specifically with this whole sequence, when Urianger kneels down to talk to someone smaller than him it’s already over for me, though pls tell me this doesn’t mean Urianger is benched for the rest of the expansion

Zenos viator Galvus, huh. interesting. if we get a Zenos redemption arc I’m gonna lose my shit

lol Fourchenault leaves, the twins’ 6 other parents roll up instead, WAIT why do I have to guess who’s at the door??? oh wait am I choosing who it is? ok im manifesting Graha

oh NOT him doing his little tail wag, hand wringing he did as exarch!!!!! Graha im love you!!!!! what a lovely little conversation, def gonna go back and see what the other convos look like, though I wish Urianger was an option

bun boy!!!! and Sid the DRK job tutor in the back!!! there is extremely ominous shit happening and everything is about to go real bad but im glad bun boy is okay (for now)

what the fuck the part of this dungeon where the mom turns into a monster and her kids are so upset that they do too is so fucked up, holy shit

what the FUCK, RIP satrap

holy shit graha going full exarch mode, fuck yeah let’s GO

god damn the animation team sure as hell got a budget this time around, anyway can we do cpr on a baby? wait are you KIDDING ME, NOT MATSYA AND THE BABY, WHAT THE FUCK

oh thank fucking christ Estinien and Vrtra. awwwww baby like big drago

lots of burials in this one, god. always with the twins too

me going around this village during the literal fucking apocalypse telling people “why dont you have some tea and maybe youll calm down”

uh hello? shithead dad? the fuck are you doing here? YEAH THAT’S RIGHT TRASH DAD, VRTRA IS A BIG DRAGON AND HE’S OUR FRIEND, FUCK OFF

Nidhana is such a delight, I love her sm

SDLKFJDSFKHG LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CALLED THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!! LET’S GO GET ELIDIBUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM POPPING ALL THE WAY OFF

im gonna fuckin CRY im back in the first.......... Lyna!!!!!! BEQ LUGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have the biggest dumbest grin on my face, im so happy

tiny elidibus..................... im emotional................. wait WHAT?? TIME TRAVELING WITH ELIDIBUS??? omgggggg WHAT is graha gonna say when I get back and im like “sorry borrowed the crystal tower for a lil time travel and let elidibus drive lmaoo”

fucking shit I talked to Elidibus for all of 3 minutes and im an emotional wreck

LMAO Emet throwing a fucking fit as soon as he shows up, he is such a CHILD omg, anyway thanks for the body, and the height?????? WOW thanks bud!!!!

HYTHLODAEUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way I just GASPED and slapped a hand over my heart, IM LOVE HIM!!!! he’s so pretty omg, so nice, his voice is so pleasant~

Meteion got a higher animation budget than all of the scions combined holy shit

“will I have to remove you by force” oh fucking TRY ME OLD MAN, I’ll kick your ass again, give you a preview of how it’s gonna feel 12000 years in the future

"if I’m thin it’s because Emet-Selch didn’t do a proper job” why even give me other options, of course I’m dragging Emet, LMAO he’s so mad, his VA is so good

LMAO BULLYING EMET-SELCH THIS IS THE CONTENT I CRAVE

ppfphhphhhhhhhhwehhh me n Emet n Hythlodaeus were best friendssssssss ;n;

lmao Hythlodaeus just going on his lil tangent about sharks <3 also Venat was the Azem before me huh, that’s pretty wild........ also she really told Emet “you should smile more sweetie :)” lmao

so am I gonna explain the bit where I killed Emet in this little recounting of MSQ OH SHIT I AM LOL, how is this not creating some kind of paradox or something, pretty understandable he’d be pissed lol

me vs. Venat, no items, final destination, LMAOOOO I GOT FUCKING BODIED also WHAT is this music, WHEW okay got it on the second try, cannot imagine being a BLM in that one, needed my whole SMN kit & allllll that mobility to survive

“do not approach me, do not speak to me, and do not dare to presume to treat me as a friend” BOY Emet’s still extremely mad huh

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS TOO LATE AT NIGHT FOR THAT SHIT!!!!!! GET YOUR FUCKING BLEEDING BLACK EYES OUT OF HERE

WWWWWWWWWWAIT TRUST DUNGEON WITH EMET VENAT AND HYTHLODAEUS?????????? NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! WAY!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE FUCKING BEST I CANNOT BELIEVE

EMET!!!!!!! IS!!!! A FUCKING!!!!!! DRK!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK THEY TELEPORT FOR MECHANICS, YOU FUCKIN CHEATERS!!!!! i am absolutely BESIDE myself right now holy fuck, trusts are my favorite thing in this game, I main DRK when I’m not SMN, this is just................ so much........... I cannot get over it, like here I was thinking Zenos as a trust was a wild idea but clearly I wasn’t thinking big enough

I absolutely adore that Emet has all the standard DRK skills but they’re all named pretentious-ass greek names because of COURSE. yoshi p PLEASE can I keep emet, I need another tank that isn’t Thancred, I love Graha but he needs a break sometimes

boy Hermes/Fandaniel/Amon’s VA is putting in a lot of boss fight work here huh, good thing he’s really good at it

that whole sequence was just. so good. why did Hythlodaeus saying “hey we’ll probably remember all this when we die” hit like a fucking truck though

oh man not original Answers, oh FUCK me not Hythlodaeus giving a casual smile & wave to Emet-Selch as he leaves to go be sacrificed for Zodiark, ANYTHING but this

“henceforth, he shall walk” god damn, well, that’s as good a stopping point as any I think

#rambles #ff14 liveblogging #ffxiv #ffxiv spoilers #endwalker #endwalker spoilers

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katsukisblackteddy · 4 years

Text

You Know What They Say...

Warnings: swearing, fluff Pairing: Bakugou x reader (I originally was going to do Kiri, but this doesn’t really fit him lol)

This uses gender neutral pronouns bc everyone deserves to see themselves in (y/n).

Description: The first date with Bakugou was going awesome, well until (Y/N) and Bakugou went to see one of the worst movies they had ever seen...anyways Bakugou sat there oddly quiet until (y/n) started trashing the movie and cursing out the characters...Bakugou was pretty sure he wanted to go on a second date after that.

Anywaysss GO GET YOUR MANS....

YOU WERE WALKING down the hallway towards your locker since school had just ended, intent on grabbing your books and heading outside to walk back to the dorms. Well, that was your plan until you saw the blonde spikes that belonged to king explosion murder himself. “Hey Baku!” You called, speeding up your steps to catch up with his stride.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that, Big Hair.” He growled, shooting you a side glance. You smiled widely at him, laughing off the hostility as you slid your arm around his. He looked down at where your arms were connected but didn’t say anything about it, surprisingly enough. “I will if you go to the movies with me.”

Bakugou was quiet for a moment as you both walked outside, rolling his eyes before opening his mouth again. “Don’t make me regret it.” He said simply as you stopped, eyes widening in realization.

“Wait so that’s a yes?!” Your smile widened despite his grimace.

“I said don’t make me regret it.” He repeated, his tone harsh, but once again you ignored it.

“Ok! The movie comes out this Friday! I was thinking about the 6:30 showing. We can meet here if you want?” You suggested as he grumbled something to himself before spinning around to look at you again.

“I’ll be at your room at 5.” He said beginning to walk away.

“But the movie doesn’t start until 6:30...”

“We’re getting food first.” Bakugou answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes widened but you said nothing, simply nodding before you sped up your steps again, walking next to him quietly as you both headed back to the dorms.

You got in the elevator with him, the doors closing as you both remained silent, though you would sneak glances his way every now and then. You got to your room, stopping to unlock the door, not even realizing Bakugou had walked out of the elevator behind you, stopping and leaning against the wall opposite your door.

“What color do you like?” He questioned, startling you as you dropped your key staring at him with a hand to your heart.

“Wh-what?” You blinked.

“What color do you like Dumbass?” He repeated a little more irritated than before.

“My favorite color? Why?”

“Just answer the question Dumbass!” His voice grew louder as you chuckled at his outburst.

“My favorite color is (your favorite color).” You answered simply as he nodded once and walked away.

TIME SKIPPPPP

It was finally Friday and you had finished with school and had done your homework. You finished touching up your outfit and putting on your makeup (if you wear it, if not just ignore that).

You turned to glance at the clock, being interrupted when a knock sounded at your door. You grabbed your phone and bag (if you want one, if not just ignore that) and opened your door.

There stood Katsuki Bakugou wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. He stuck his hand out as a faint pink dusted his cheeks, revealing a small bundle of flowers in your favorite color. A smile grew on your face as you took the flowers from him.

“Thanks Baku.” You said softly. “I love them.” You put the flowers on your desk in a half full water bottle, reminding yourself that on the way back you had to stop to get a proper vase for them.

You closed the door behind you, sneakily sliding your brown hand into his paler one as you walked down the hall towards the elevator. He didn’t protest to having your hand in his so you left it, not noticing the faint smile that sat on his lips.

Bakugou took you to a ramen restaurant and ordered the spiciest thing on the menu for himself and the second spiciest thing for you.

“I could’ve ordered for myself, you know?” You said as you both began to eat, the ramen arriving after a short amount of time.

“You can order next time.” He said after a moment causing your face to heat up at the realization. Next time.

“Let me try yours.” You pleaded, holding your chopsticks out. He rolled his eyes yet obliged, as you took some of his and you held your bowl out to him, offering some of yours.

“Mine’s better.” He remarked as you rolled your eyes with a smile. You talked about random things and about the movie which was supposed to be an adaption of a show you loved and that you had been waiting a year for it to come out. (Let’s pretend it’s The Last Airbender movie).

Over dinner, you learned that Bakugou liked it too and you began arguing about which nation was the best. Of course he said Fire Nation, but you said that Water Nation was best because Katara and Sokka were the best.

“You know, Zuko’s pretty hot.” You said before drinking some water, watching as he started rolling his eyes and growing irritated. He was jealous.

“Whatever.” He huffed.

“Not you getting jealous over a fictional character.” You said teasingly, trying to hold in your giggles as his eyes narrow slightly and he scoffs at you, but doesn’t deny it. “Don’t worry Katsu, I only like one Hothead.”

“Damn right.” He replied proudly. “Hey who are you calling Hothead?!”

“You.” You replied. “Come on let’s go to the movies before we miss the previews!” You said as you took out your wallet at the same time he did. He pushed your hand away as he got money out.

“No.” He said simply as you continued to both try and put money to pay.

“Katsuki. I’m not letting you pay for me.” You said simply. You didn’t like when people paid for you. (When the author interjects herself into the character 😙)

“No (Y/N).” He said, shoving the money in before snatching the check from the table before you could do anything. He ended up paying and you pouted at him. “What’s wrong with you now Big Hair?”

“I wanted to go Dutch.” You said as he rolled his eyes, before taking your hand in his again. (going dutch means splitting the bill in half, so you would each pay half.)

“Next time.” he replied simply before pulling you into the theater. Damn it, he did it again! Next time...

You both got into the theater, which was at the moment fairly empty since you had gotten there early to get the best seats. You pulled Bakugou around the theater to find the best seats, doing it twice until you finally decided on the seats right in the middle of the theater. “Are you done now?” Bakugou questioned with a raised eyebrow. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he found it cute what you had just done...though he seemed to be finding everything you were doing cute simply because it was you.

“Yes.” You said triumphantly before tossing some popcorn into your mouth. The theaters filled up a short while later and before you knew it, the movie was starting.

The arm rest between the two seats you were both in moved up, so the explosive blonde pushed it up and pulled you closer to him as you held the popcorn in your lap. You looked at him a small smile on your face, and he was thankful it was dark so you couldn’t see him blushing.

It had only been two minutes into the movie and you already were angry about it, frowning at the way they had already pronounced avatar and it had only been the first lines of the script. “It’s Avatar not Oh-vatar.” You grumpily stated as Bakugou raised an eyebrow not expecting you to say anything, though you had been right.

You were trying your best not to get angry, but M. Night Shyamalan was making it very hard. You were doing fairly alright and stuck to just angrily eating popcorn until this scene came up.

(disgraceful...a joke....can you tell I'm not salty 😒)

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! This movie is a fucking joke!” You said letting some popcorn fall out of your hand as Bakugou tried to hide his smirk by eating popcorn.

It wasn’t like you were the only disappointed one either, the theater was full of fans and they were all disappointed.

“It’s a steaming pile of shit!” You said angrily, looking over to see if Bakugou was agreeing with you. He simply looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“Can you stop cursing? There are children present!” A woman said standing up in the middle of the theater, a few rows below you. She wildly gestured towards her six year old son sitting there looking embarrassed by his mother. He was gently tugging her sleeve to get her to sit down, but she wasn’t budging as she stared at you.

“Shut up Karen!” You called, rolling your eyes. She looked around to see who had said that as Bakugou burst out laughing.

“You are a horribly disrespectful child! Your mother should’ve raised you better! Letting you curse like that, she should be ashamed.”

“Hey shut the fuck up, shitty woman! Don’t talk about her like that!” Bakugou said angrily, creating sparks in his hand, his red eyes narrowing at the middle aged woman. The woman began sobbing and screaming as employees shut the lights on and the woman pointed the two of you out saying that you had threatened her and her son.

Needless to say, you had been kicked out of the theater and banned and the movie had ended for the night, though most people thanked you for them out of their misery.

“What a bitch.” You mumbled as the two of you decided to walk around the downtown area since the movie had ended earlier than you had expected.

Katsuki Bakugou didn’t say anything but the smirk on his lips said enough. “What?” You questioned curiously.

“Nothing.” He said shaking his head as you walked into a store to buy a vase for the flowers that were in your dorm. When you arrived back at your dorm, the two of you hadn’t really talked that much walking back, but you didn’t need to it wasn’t an awkward silence...it was nice. “Next Friday.” He said simply before beginning to walk to his room.

You grabbed his wrist to stop him, confused by what he had just said. “What?” You questioned, your eyes searching his face.

“Dinner. Next Friday.” He said simply. “I’ll message you. Goodnight, Big Hair.”

“N-Night Hothead.” You called back after a moment seeing him walk away towards the elevator. He didn’t turn around, and you couldn’t tell from where you stood but he was smiling. Next Time.

Tags:

#katsukisblackteddy #bakugou imagine #this one is really long lmaooooo sorry not sorry #bnha x black reader #bnha x black!reader #bnha x poc!reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou being a hothead #first date #movie theater #bnha x reader

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