#top on purpose to fight that feeling i have lol

[nikguhsworld]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🎀୧⋆ ˚｡⋆MOVIE WITH GOJO⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🎀୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪...contents : gojo x fem! reader, smut, horny reader, praise, missionary, unprotected sex, pet names (baby, princess, beautiful, pretty), begging, teasing, gojo loves praising you.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪...notes : this is my first writing so pls be nice lol😭

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you and gojo had been laying down watching a movie for the past thirty minutes. as much as you love cudling with him, you simply couldnt fight how horny you felt. the way his arm was wrapped around your waist, warm breath tickling your neck and chest pressed up again your back definetely wasnt helping either.

you slowly started fidgeting against him, moving your hips in circular motions to get his attention. he shuffled slightly, assuming that you were moving around to try and get comfortable but when your hips didnt stop moving he realised what you were up to.

"baby what are doing?" satoru whispered softly, you could feel him grinning against your ear. "mmm, nothing," you muttered in the most innocent voice you could. " just getting comfortable."

"you sure?" he teased "if somethings wrong you can tell me you know ." he knew exactly what was wrong, he just wanted to hear you say it.

satoru loved hearing you beg for him. he would purposely ignore when you were horny until you told him directly and even when you did he would tease you until you were begging him to fuck you.

"im sure," you answered. he didnt say anything back, he just pulled you closer and rested his head against your shoulder. you continued grinding your ass against him, switching your movements from side to side to in a circle every once in a while.

satoru tried to act like you werent affecting him, but the way his grip on ur waist had tightened, his breathing had gotten deeper and his dick was now ridiculously hard told you everything you needed to know.

all this wasnt just for him. with each movement, you found yourself getting more desperate for his touch. it took everything in you not to turn around and tell him how badly you needed him, but satoru was constantly teasing you so you continued teasing him.

satoru was still trying hard not to give into you. his head was burried in your neck, eyes closed trying not to groan into your skin. his grip on your waist was beginning to get painful and so was your aching clit.

you grabbed his hand and moved it down into your panties. his head immediantly lifted from your neck and as soon as he felt how wet you were he snapped.

he turned you around to face him before smashing his lips into yours. usually his kisses were soft and gentle to begin with but this one was rough and sloppy. his hand gripped your ass harshly causing you to moan. he used this as an oppurtunity to swirl his tongue around your mouth, taking in every bit of your taste.

"is this what you wanted?" he spoke as pulled away to lay you on your back and climb on top of you. "answer me princess, was all that moving about just so i could touch you?"

"maybe," you said, pulling on his shirt to bring him back down to you. "so fucking needy," he mumbled into your lips before kissing them once again. you wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking his undercut with the tips of your fingers causing him to groan into the kiss.

he pulled away again, moving down towards your neck and peppering kisses behind your ear. one hand worked its way to ur breast, softly playing with your clothed nipple whilst the other traced circles on your thigh. a soft whine left your lips as you fidgeted underneath him, desperate for him to touch you where you needed it.

"tell me what you want princess," he spoke softly as he stroked your chin. "you 'toru," you said, looking up at him with the neediest face he had ever seen. his dick twitched at the way you looked at him, he really did love making you beg.

"you have me baby, im right here." he wasnt gonna stop acting dumb until he heard you say what you want. your cunt was throbbing with the need to be touched. every second of stubornness you had in you had disappeared. you would do backflips for him right now if it meant he would touch you.

"need you to fuck me," you whined running your hands through his hair. "with what hmm, fingers, tongu-"

"your dick," you hated satorus teasing more then anything. you couldnt decide if you wanted to slap him or bounce on his dick right now.

"such a good girl," he praised, giving you lots of little small pecks for being so good for him. he stopped for a second to take off your top revealing your breasts. each hand cupped one boob whilst his mouth sucked on the sweet spots of your neck. after he was satisfied with the marks he gave you, he pulled away to take off his tshirt and grey sweatpants.

"what position baby," he asked, taking your shorts off and resting his hands on your inner thigh. " i dont mind, but i wanna see you." he smirked as you said this before coming back down to your face.

"you wanna see me fuck my pretty girlfriend?" he asked. "mhmm" you hummed, dangling you hands over his shoulders. "lets stay like this then yeah?" he gave you one more kiss on your lips before finally pressing his thumb against your clit. you sighed in relief as he rubbed you in small circles.

"fuck your wet," he groaned. "dont even have to eat you out anymore before you take me." he took off your panties and then his boxers. his dick sprang out, tip coated in sticky precum.

he stroked himself a couple times before rubbing his tip between your lips. "such a pretty pussy," he whispered, slowly sliding himself into you. you both gasped as he pushed his tip in, as if you hadnt fucked a thousand times before.

"satoru," you moaned, shutting your eyes as he slipped more and more inside of you. "you begged for it so take it," he spoke. "thats it, good girl. just a little more yeah?" you nodded at his words feeling him shove the rest of it in you.

his strokes were slow and gentle to begin with, letting you get used to his size. his hands interwined with yours over your head as he kissed you.

"you can go faster 'toru," you whispered. he immediantly listened quickening his pace. groans left his mouth as one of your hands rug into his back and the other tugged on his hair.

"feels so good toru," you moaned as your eyes fluttered shut. he loved watching the way your face changed each time he hit a certain spot inside you. " you look so beautiful taking me," he breathed out. "so fucking perfect," he used one hand to lift your leg up between the two of you and over his shoulder causing him to reach even deeper then before

"toruu, s'too much," you whined, both your hands raking up and down his back. he didnt mind though, he knew how much you liked seeing the scratches on his back after you guys fucked.

"you take me almost everyday, u can handle it." he groaned looking down at you as he felt you grab of his hands and wrap it around your throat. he felt your cunt tighten around him as he squeezed your throat slightly. a familiar knot began to build in your stomach causing your moans to get louder.

"hold it for just a little longer baby" he whispered. you nodded your head before moaning out his name and clenching around him once again.

satoru was close too, his groans turnt into moans and whimpers and his hips started to stutter into you. "you gonna cum with me? let me fuck that pretty pussy full?" he babbled on "fuck, feel s'good"

you wrapped your hands around his neck bringing him close, taking in the beautiful sight of your boyfriend infront of you. "cum with me baby,"

as if he was controlling your body, as soon as the words left his mouth the wave of pleasure you had been craving came over you. satoru burried his head in your neck as he came, the feeling of his warm cum filling you up made you clench around him, milking his dick.

you both laid there for a minute, satoru resting inside you whilst your hands rubbed up and down his back. "i love you, so much," he whispered. "you did so good for me princess," he pressed a kiss on your lips. " i love too satoru," you smiled, running your hands through his hair.

"lets stay like this for a little 'kay? ill clean us up in a minute."

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[imsilay]

HAMARTIA

MNDI +18, cw: oral (f!receiving), fem!reader ( i don’t think there’s much to warn :/ )

cw: 2.3k

bigger font as promised lol and not proofread sorry :/ my stomach hurts :(

(i need my mouth on his abs. and hands it’s a need trust me. idk the cr please tell me.) it’s royaidni on X guys :> -i might buy patreon for him-

You swore this was the day that you’d kill this man as you tightened your hands around his thick neck. He smirked under his mask, you were strong. You were strong enough to take your anger out of him and knock him to ground when he asked for a fight with you. His words were taunting, irritating even as he did so which was something you happened to not like. You didn’t really knew if he was doing it on purpose. You suspected that he was trying to get the best of you.

And you were undoubtedly right.

He absolutely loved the way you clenched your fists when someone challenged you. He observed you long enough to know you wouldn’t say no to any competition. What a brave girl you are. “You… are weak.” he managed to choke out as you breathed rapidly. Oh how beautiful you were… From the blood dripping down from the edge of your lips to your heaving chest. You were a mess, he wasn’t easy on you, he knew what you were capable of, he knew if he let his guard down you could easily knock him down which was predictable and happened as soon as he froze for a moment. He froze because he couldn’t believe he really punched your precious face, because he couldn’t believe how pretty you were when you spit the blood pooled on your mouth and jumped on him like a lioness. He felt his whole body shivering underneath you, not daring to move away, not daring to do anything to ruin the positions of your bodies because Gott- your form rose heavenly on his stomach.

The angle was just right, he could see- nein, he could feel the way you looked down at him, was it another way of saying him he’s nothing different than a bug without words? Did you hated him enough to not even utter a word? That couldn’t be the case because he saw the burning lust in that gaze, felt it in his bones. It flowed into his skin from your palms around his neck.

“Said the man who’s about to die from my hands.” you snickered, breath coming out short and rapid. You felt a hot sweat rolling down on your spine as he chocked out a dry laugh. It was chocked because you had no intention of loosening your grip. “It would be a honorable way to die.” he finally got a hold of your wrists and pried your hands from his neck.

“But not today, Maus.” he lead your body down from his stomach to his crotch. Oh he loved the dumbfounded expression of your face, eyes going wide and lips forming a small ‘o’ shape. Because what was the thing poked your ass, you hoped it wasn’t his gun- or maybe you hoped it was. You were frozen and only remembered to get up when he tilted your chin up with his nose. You pressed your knees firmly against the floor to have the leverage to push yourself off of him. “Sit down.” he barked, both of you knew you could try more and eventually break free from his grip but you were a little curious thing. You wondered if he was really getting off from fighting with you. You were also curious when you accepted his challenge, wondering that König, the colonel who never talked with anyone unnecessarily but a few people, came to you on his own.

Did you loved to be on top? Or did you prefer to let your partner have the control? Would you like if he had you in a mating press and emptied his balls deep inside you until you break and cried for him to sop? Or would you prefer to ride him until he was overstimulated and panting like a dog?

These were the overwhelming thoughts he had every single night since he saw you kill a enemy which he claimed as his target. Along with 10 others. Your skin was hard, not squishy and soft like he was used woman to be. Your skin was scared from the bullets and sharp knifes. Your skin was tortured, beaten, overworked even. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to cause you any pain. The punch he landed on you made him want to cut his wrist off and feed it to dogs. You weren’t fragile but he loved how sensitive you were. Just like him, you weren’t so used to have someone so close and intimate. He could feel your heartbeat pick up as he pressed his clad lips on your pulse.

You were being oddly obedient and he loved it.

You we sitting on his lap like you weren’t choking him to death just a minute ago. You could be a witch or siren, whatever you name it, because there was no other explanation for your enchanting presence. He felt weak, for the first time in a decade he felt like he could drop to his knees and worship you like a temple.

You weren’t patient as you were strong. You wanted to feel him grow harder, you wanted to feel him as impatient as you so you could have him. So you started to grind your hips against his throbbing length, successfully drawing a growl from him. But not without a smack to your hips.

“Behave. I didn’t knew you were much of a slut. I thought you were just an arrogant brat.” he mumbled, not bothering to leave the confines of your neck. So you grabbed his hair with his mask and yanked his head back. “Are you going to fuck me or do i have to continue where i left of?” you hissed, wrapping your now free hand around his nack and getting irritated with his calmness. “Don’t wanna hurt you Maus, but you give me no other choice.” he purred yet there was irritation matching with yours, maybe even more. “Sometimes you forget who you’re talking to, and i’d be more than happy to fix that.” he pushed you back onto your back and you landed on the ground with a thud. You didn’t expected him to push you off after nuzzling you like a stray cat. You thought you had him in your palm, but he wasn’t like others. You were so shocked that you couldn’t do anything to stop him when he pressed on your torso and tugged down your pants. You wanted to kick him which you could with your current position but something primal in you prevented you from it. You wanted to let him put you in your place, you wanted to see if he could.

Now he was the one breathing heavily as he looked down at your exposed panties. The black ones, his favorite. He saw you in them one time, by accident if you believe. And since then he couldn’t get any sleep. He gritted his teeth, this was his lucky day. “Don’t move.” he retreated his hand from your torso so he could pull your panties with both of his hands. As he pulled down the fabric his hungry eyes drank every bit of skin that was being exposed to him. You thought he was doing it slowly on purpose, you thought he was teasing you for being touch starved but you just couldn’t notice how his hands were trembling and he was thankful that you didn’t noticed. “This wet from a little fighting and grinding? You’re pathetic. And i’m your colonel. Aren’t you ashamed? The strong soldiers everyone’s afraid of is getting wet for her colonel, i bet they would kill to see you.” his words hit just the right spot, it traveled through your veins and rushed your blood pressure. And of course that cocky bastard noticed that. How couldn’t he? His eyes were never leaving you!

But you wanted him to do more than looking, you wanted to feel his hands, mouth, tongue- god you wanted him all over you. “Oh look at that…” He parted your folds with his thumb and catched that glob of arousal dripped from you. “Do you need something in your pretty pussy? I got something you’d like.” he snickered, how needy you were… He’d never thought you would be so cute under him. You’d be hot of course but not that cute. He imagined every possibility but the way you covered your face with your forearm and the way you lifted your hips to chase his thumb never crossed his mind. “Give it to me.” your voice came out muffled by your forearm but he could understand you very loud and clear. “Nein Maus. You forgot to ask properly.” he dab his thumb on your clit, slowly and lightly. “What do you want?” he asked again and you knew it was your last chance. He never liked to repeat himself. You threw your head back when he licked your slit before you could answer. He swallowed thickly and pressed his fingers into your thighs. You had to answer before he lost his control and did something he would regret. “I…” you hesitated, he was your colonel but he was the one who offered all of this. You looked for your morals but they were no where to be seen when König was between your legs, looking into your eyes with his halfway lifted mask and your slick on his chin. “I want your cock. I want to feel you, i want you to fill me up until i am full of you.” oh your sweet voice, your sweet sweet words. “Braves Mädchen. That was what i wanted to hear.” he practically growled when he buried his fingers and face into your cunt. You gasped by intensity of both at the same time. His long and thick fingers dragged along your walls and curled just right as his lips wrapped around your sensitive bundle of nerves and sucked and lapped until your hips rose from the ground by his merciless attack. “Slow down!” you grabbed his hair to pull him away but you couldn’t use your strength due to his teeth gently grazing your clit. Your hips twitched and you could feel the overwhelming pleasure pooling within you, ready to explode with a poke. And the poke was his fingers hitting your g-spot. You pushed his head away- at least you tried but he didn’t left his place. His tongue lapped every drop you offered as you squirted all over him and the floor. “Mein, mein, mein.” he purred as he pulled his fingers out of your quivering hole and kissed your pretty pussy all over. Along with your strong thighs and throbbing clit. He sucked and licked your folds like he’s making out with your pussy. You were still twitching and trying to calm down after your intense orgasm. “König, enough.” you whined, your whiny voice strange to even yourself. Oh but did he love it. He’d kill to hear you whine and beg him again.

“I can’t understand what you’re saying, Maus.” he mumbled against your slick pussy and continued to lick until there was nothing left from your orgasm. He wanted it back. Not just your sweet slick, he wanted your sweet cum on his tongue. But he had to leave your pussy as his cock throbbed painfully in the confines of his pants. He straightened his back and that was when he could get a glimpse of your glossy eyes. His heart kicked his chest like it was trying to rip his skin and present itself to you. ‘Beautiful, pretty, cute, but mine, mine, mine.’ His twisted mind screamed as he hungry gaze drank the sight of you. You were just laying there obediently, for what? For your colonel to sink his cock into you and fuck the breath out of your lungs. He felt the globs of precum dripping from his slit to wetting his boxer. “Open your pretty legs f’me Maus.” he taunted, looking for a defiance or a little light of irritation in your eyes at his order but surprisingly you brought your hands under your knees and pulled your legs open for him. His whole body shuddered and he felt like he had been blessed by the god himself. His hands were erratic as he unbuckled his belt and fished his cock out. He hissed when his painful erection was finally free. He grabbed the base of his cock as he opened your folds with his long pointer and middle fingers. “You’re so ready f’me.” he breathed, you’d think he was talking to himself. He dragged his cock up and down on your slit until it was covered with your slick. You twitched and moaned everytime his tip kissed your clit. As he pushed the tip in he caressed underneath of your thighs and stopped under your knees where your hands hold your legs up and open for him. “Leave it to me Maus.” he softly pushed your hands and replaced it with his. You tried to breathe and loosen up for him but he was just so thick and it felt like he was splitting you open. Finally when he was fully inside you and filled you up like you wanted, you felt him pressing your thighs further into your chest. Your breath left your lungs when he snapped his cock out and inside you to the brim. He thought you couldn’t feel any better than engulfing him like a glove but when he left you breathless your walls clenched around him like you wanted to milk his balls empty.

After a few thrust your moans got louder and louder along with the clenching of your walls. "Scheiße Maus. If you continue to squeeze me like that-“ he grunted and picked up the pace. He felt like he couldn’t hold back anymore but he wanted you to cum with him. So he brought a hand between your impossibly flushed bodies and drew firm circles on your clit until you cum with a screaming of his name and he painted your walls with his relase.

-

a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked the content ofc <3 your comments also makes my day :* and i love to reply all of them :>

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 424: Detroit Tears

Previously on BnHA: You know what, fandom is way too heated about this still so we’re just going to leave that be that for now and not get involved. I have some conflicted feelings about it, but this is not the place or time. This is a happy post.

Today on BnHA: Oh right, Horikoshi still owns the rights to my soul. And I’ve just been reminded of why I willingly signed them over to him so freely.

Quick heads up that this isn’t going to be my usual style of chapter reaction post, in that it’s really just going to be a ton of rambling about That One Scene. Partly because I’m only halfway caught up with stuff, but mostly because tbh, this is the only thing that matters to me right at this moment.

Also this is your friendly neighborhood spoiler warning that I’m posting about a chapter which hasn’t officially been released yet! So proceed at your own discretion. This reaction is based on @pikahlua’s excellent spoiler translation writeup here. I’ve officially lost all of my fucks about spoilers and it’s extremely liberating.

I’m glad that Kacchan’s arm isn’t just magically better and that he’s never going to be 100% again. and also that the doctor mentions him needing to rest his heart as well. because I did feel like there needed to be at least a few lasting consequences from him LITERALLY DYING AND UNDERGOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. but I’m also glad they established that it wasn’t career-ending or anything. he’ll probably have some chronic pain and occasionally aggravate his old injuries while fighting, all of which is great for angst purposes. but it was good to see him being calmly accepting of that while also being determined to put the work in to rehab it as much as possible.

also enjoyed the doctor summing up Kacchan’s highly improbable main character resurrection and subsequent antics as basically being some wild bullshit that nobody can explain. lampshaded the shit out of it. “I don’t really understand” lol. nobody understands. in truth it’s that his secondary quirk is bending reality to his will in order to kick ass.

moving on to the main event now! so Kacchan and Izuku’s reunion was obviously the highlight of this chapter and of my life, probably. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it wasn’t. y’all know how it is.

what really made this scene for me was Kacchan being more upset at Izuku’s loss than Izuku himself. all those callbacks and all that guilt. that careful selection of flashback panels. the fact that Kacchan’s past bullying of the quirkless Izuku wasn’t glossed over or forgotten, and in fact is the emotional core that fuels Kacchan’s reaction here. Horikoshi didn't have to cut that deep, but he knows what he's about.

and then the crying. I need to write a lot of words about this right the fuck now. first off, having Kacchan just flat out sob while Izuku for once is the calm one (at least until All Might goes in for the emotional kill later on), is such a beautiful reversal and really shows how far they’ve come. even better is that none of it was even remotely out of character. I’m always appreciative when an author can produce top tier emotional hurt/comfort like this and have it feel earned and authentic rather than forced. well done.

also, “Na--cchan!!” fuck yeah Izuku. we’ll never let him live this down. (but also, him later trying to reconcile his forever-tough image of Kacchan with the crying, hiccupping version standing in front of him, by blaming it on Kacchan’s weakened physical state... oh, Izuku.)

also the fact that Kacchan so easily reverts to this smol crying boy even after defeating the world’s greatest evil pretty much activated every protective instinct that I have. he’s seventeen. he’s practically a man now. he’s objectively one of the strongest and toughest people in the entire world. and yet his eyes still go so wide and his face is still so young and Horikoshi still draws him so tiny and vulnerable whenever he’s like this. goddamn gets me EVERY single time. let’s be real, it’s been this way ever since the “you looked like you needed saving” scene back in the literal first chapter. just, omg. he’s still just a kid and he’s too small to contain all these feelings SOMEONE HELP HIM.

anyway so NEEDLESS TO SAY, Kacchan full on mourning in between sobs because he wanted to keep being rivals with Izuku cut me to my core. I cried too, goddammit. because in Katsuki’s mind it’s like. he wasted a dozen years of potential friendship by being a giant asshole. and they were only able to start getting things back on track less than a year ago. and that was probably the best year of both of their lives. and that rivalry meant so much to both of them. pursuing their dreams together as equals. and he wanted it to continue!! he missed out on so much, and it was his own damn fault, and now it’s all being taken away again maybe!!

and I think it’s especially devastating to Katsuki because he was trying so hard to make up for how he treated Izuku, and then this comes along and now he’s worried it was all for nothing. he’s scared that Izuku will maybe have to quit being a hero. (we know that won’t happen, obviously, but Katsuki is living this and not just reading it. he’s never met narrator!Deku and doesn’t have the benefit of all that foreshadowing and stuff.) but even more than that, I think he’s scared that it will undo all of their progress toward mending their relationship. not because Katsuki thinks any less of Izuku now, quirk or no quirk; but because of how Izuku might feel about being quirkless again, and because of the memories it might bring flooding back to the surface. I don’t think Katsuki fully believes that Izuku has forgiven him. so that’s a major fear potentially rearing its ugly head once more now.

and of course, he’s also just sad and upset on Izuku’s behalf, because he knows Izuku is sad about it too, even if he’ll never show it and will just downplay it because of his selfless nature. it’s a major loss, and one deserving of tears being shed, even if Izuku won’t shed any of his.

so yeah. it’s a lot. in Katsuki’s mind it’s the potential loss of a partner (if Izuku quits heroics), and a friend (if Izuku does cool toward Katsuki as a result of being quirkless again), and a dream (of them reaching the highest heights together), and his friend’s dream. so it makes perfect sense that all of that would overwhelm him. all of this is stuff that’s broken him down on past occasions as well.

so anyway it’s going be very cathartic when all those fears prove to be unfounded (because they better be unfounded lol). but in the meantime it’s a very moving reminder of how much he really does care and how far the both of them have come.

also Horikoshi really couldn’t resist giving Nobu one last chance to destroy everyone when this scene rolls up in the anime. that’s so reckless of him. there will be no survivors.

All Might telling both of them they’d become the greatest heroes was also the perfect chef’s kiss moment on top of everything else. we already knew it, of course. but it was good to hear him say it. and they needed him to say it. they needed and deserved to hear it.

and I really love that the qualities he specifically praised them for were the same things that each of them had struggled with the most in their respective journeys. he tells Izuku, who had such a difficult time learning how to tell the world “I am here!!”, that he inspires everyone and has become everyone’s hero. and he reminds Katsuki, who struggled with learning how to save people, and has especially struggled with his guilt over what happened to All Might at Kamino, that he saved All Might’s life and is the reason he’s able to still be there with them. both of them just really needed to hear that acknowledgement and encouragement, and it was such a powerful passing of the torch moment. All Might gets so much shit from the fandom, but he really is a phenomenal mentor when he’s in the zone, and I’ll die on that hill.

also a nice touch keeping the focus of those panels on the two boys and their reactions. even though I would have liked to see All Might’s face when he thanked them at the end, it definitely felt deliberate. this is their moment. their soft little tearful smiles afterwards punted my heart off a cliff and then picked it up and held it gently.

lastly, let it be known that I’m still convinced Katsuki has OFA (All Might vestige explanation when??), and it’s not lost on me that that would be a mighty convenient way for Izuku to potentially still go on a-quirkin’ in the end, if that’s how Horikoshi wants to play it. I'm just saying.

also before I forget, just a quick shoutout to Horikoshi for FINALLY showing all three members of the Bakufam in a scene together in which they finally managed to not be completely dysfunctional lol. my deepest darkest BnHA secret is that Mitsuki is secretly super high up on my list of favorite characters. and she was great in this chapter, and I love how she was just “WHAT THE FUCK” aghast at Katsuki using his main character powers to continuously ignore his injuries. and then she and Masaru kind of silently agreeing to step outside the room and let the boys and All Might have their moment. while still secretly listening in. because you know they were. good for them.

lastly for reals, I just want you all to remember that as great as this chapter was, the one thing that it was STILL missing which we have STILL not gotten is a HUG. we demand HUGS. I’m not leaving this manga till I get a bkdk hug goddammit. I will stay here all night if I have to.

[yandere-sins]

A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."

I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!

Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Click

You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days. 

"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"

Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.

"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.

"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."

"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice. 

"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle. 

For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.

"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words. 

In a way, he wasn't that different from you.

"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."

He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all. 

"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"

"You could have told me."

"And you would have dealt with her how?"

A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."

You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind. 

"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.

"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."

"Who'd want that, you sicko."

Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.

"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it. 

"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.

"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."

"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."

Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."

"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears. 

Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it. 

You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.

The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.

You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity? 

"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"

You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.

But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world. 

Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.

That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though. 

"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" 

His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason. 

"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.

"Why you what?"

"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."

Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.

Click

"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."

Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.

"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"

He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal. 

"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"

Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."

He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.

"It drives me insane."

His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."

His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.

"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."

You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted. 

But why would you?

The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here. 

"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."

"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."

At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."

"No, I don't like it."

Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."

"Can I go back to my room now?"

He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"

Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"

"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."

"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."

"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.

"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy. 

"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."

He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."

"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."

[withleeknow]

somewhere only we know.

pairing: ot8 x reader (ot8 in the sense that there's no name mentioned so you can imagine whoever you want) genre/warnings: established relationship, (tooth-rotting??) fluff, half a second of angst if you squint; this is pretty self-indulgent and also i just randomly wanted to write it this way. kinda similar to this but not really word count: 0.6k note: again, imagine whoever you want! mimo is on the cover just for illustrative purposes and also he's my guy so what did you expect from me lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

the waterfront on the tail end of a sunset walk. your hand tightly intertwined with his. sharing strawberry tanghulu and tasting the fruity sweetness on each other's lips. neighborhood children rushing by in a hurry to make it home for dinner. 7:12pm, his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm as dark blue begins its descent for the evening. the wind and her gentle kisses upon your hair. you stop to take a picture of the sunset but he stops to take a picture of you. a rose-colored blush when he tells you you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. love, love, love. him, the stars shining in his eyes before they have to come out and paint the sky. mismatched footsteps and twin smiles.

the middle of your apartment's entryway, not even making it into the living room. your arms around his neck, his hands on your waist and in your hair. a long trip coming to a stop, a big suitcase abandoned by the door. the scent of his familiar cologne that you've yearned to touch for weeks now. 1:19am, wide awake. somewhere in the world, iris by goo goo dolls is playing on repeat. i missed you's and i love you's and fresh tears. feeling like you could hold him like this for hours until the darkness outside falls away. no more facetiming with seas of distance between you. chests pressed tightly together, no space, all love. sweet nothings whispered right next to your ear. home is where the heart is, and your heart is home.

the park five minutes away from his parents' house. your head on his chest, both of you on a large picnic blanket laid out on green, green grass. his heartbeat under your palm, your mind somewhere up there among the clouds. sleepy and lax under the influence of the sun. 3:29pm, an iced matcha latte and a slice of lemon cheesecake sound absolutely divine right about now. there's an urge to voice that thought, but you know neither of you can be bothered to move. his lips pressed against your forehead, then a tender "i could stay like this forever."

the convenience store just around the corner. a spontaneous snack run in the middle of the night because you were craving sweets. empty streets but your hearts are full hearts. the cashier's ringtone is a song that you both hate. 12:22am, no worries in your head. tomorrow is still the weekend. banana milks and chocolate ice cream. he falls for you all over again when you aren't looking, and tells you "nothing," with a coy smile when you ask why he's staring. time works differently at night, almost like it doesn't seem to pass at all. there's no logical explanation to why you feel like you're on top of the world at midnight in sweatpants; maybe it's just being with him, maybe it's just being in love.

your favorite bar on a rainy evening. the argument was stupid, but it was heated enough for you to storm out. only red on your mind; forgotten weather forecasts and forgotten umbrellas. stubborn and angry and alone. the fight was your fault anyway. 8:18pm, a bottle of soju for company. ignoring his calls and texts when your phone lights up with his name. heavy raindrops loud enough to hear from inside your shelter, heavier heart. the way his face fell when you said what you didn't mean. why did you say that? forty five minutes and the bottle is almost empty. far too tipsy to pay attention to the chime of the bell by the door, but sober enough to recognize his presence when he sits down next to you. his rain-dampened hair and your fragile, wounded pride. the apologies are quiet, uttered into the space between the two of you, only for his ears. forgiveness in the form of gentle fingers holding your own. "it's getting cold," he says. "let's go home."

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.05.2024]

[kozachenko]

[Click image for better quality]

I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO FUCKING MAKE THE IMAGE SMALLER FOR POSTING ON TUMBLR WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE ACTUAL QUALITY OF THE IMAGE OH MY GOD

Ok so, what I did is go into the clip studio paint file, make a new file, copy and paste the group in the original file, merge everything, get rid of the extra stuff outside of the canvas, and then make the flattened image smaller and crop the canvas. Once you have that, export it and you're done. This helps maintain the actual quality of the image and also helps shrink the file size down to something actually postable (if anyone has a better way of doing this please tell me)

[Edit]: Ok I guess posting something to Tumblr just naturally compresses the image a bit more somehow because I'm looking at it now and zooming in too much makes it a bit blurry so I'm still gonna have to futz around with image quality for future pieces oof

Artist's Note:

I'm so glad I figured out a way to do this because I like working on a big canvas so I can get as much detail in as I possibly can. Only problems are how laggy it gets while drawing lol.

I had an idea for a drawing with Reimu and Zanmu because I really like thinking about their potential dynamic a lot. I also wanted an excuse to draw Zanmu again but in my normal rendering style because last time I drew her she was in my more sketchy style with generally flat colours so I wanted to draw her again. Speaking of, looking at the sketch for this is a jumpscare that I never enjoy seeing, like, man am I glad I didn't use those for my final piece.

Also about her spear. I was originally gonna make it like the ones she had in game, but it kinda threw off the whole piece. It was too big, too blue, and too flat, so I just went "fuck it" and gave her a different one instead. My headcanon justifying this is that the ones she uses in game are for danmaku battles whereas in any other fight she just uses a proper yari, or she still uses the yari and just makes it all glowy to power it up, maybe both lol. I pulled as much inspiration as I could from Sengoku era spears, and even put in some blue into the decorative part of the spear and also added a little skull to pay tribute to the original spear. Also, in my research I saw some art of izanami and izanagi making japan and saw that the yari izanagi has had a little decorative tassley thingy on it so I took some inspo from that and just made it one of Zanmu's tassles (Idk when that art was from or if the spear was still accurate to Sengoku period Japan but hey, probably the same reasons Eirin puts little bow ties on her arrows, it's just for personalization purposes).

I love rendering hair and clothes so much omg, while I like the super curly hair Zanmu, the longer, wavier hair suits her better for this drawing (I imagine it only does that like how Ghibli characters hair moves when they feel angry lol). I love making Zanmu's hair all messy and crazy, as well as giving her grey hairs, this woman has aged like a fine wine. Also, if the hem on the ends of her sleeves, top of her shirt, and her pants look like gold to you, that's because it is! It's fairly light so she's not collapsing under the weight, but it's gold! (I don't care how impractical it is, it's just cool). Not the undershirt though, it's made of a gold fabric. I had a cute idea with Reimu's hair to make it have a red shine to it. I also changed up Reimu's outfit so it isn't just a blob of red. I like it a lot when Reimu's skirt and outfit is segmented into different layers, so I wanted to incorporate that.

I tried to draw their hands differently as well, but IDK how noticeable that is. Also, I am super happy with how the side profiles for the two of them turned out, I used to struggle a lot with how to make the side profile of a character actually look like the character, so I'm really happy that they actually look like themselves.

Also added in the tree and rocks in the background as an homage to Zanmu's character art in Touhou 19, just because I was getting kinda stumped on what to do with the background lol.

In terms of a story idea with Reimu and Zanmu, idk why but the potential plotline of Zanmu wanting to ascend to godhood is so fascinating to me. Like, it is very possible that if she just convinced everyone she was a god (which would be very easy for her to do), she would become one in a heartbeat. Also, if she were to become a god, with her ability to return stuff to nothing, could she hypothetically get similar abilities to (Jojo Part 5 spoiler btw) GER? Like, idk about the death timeloop stuff, but the concept has been haunting me every night as I have been trying to find loopholes in GER's ability for a while now ( for no reason in particular). Back to the main topic, I imagine that she would probably tell Reimu that if she were to become a god she would take over the Hakurei shrine since the god there might as well be dead, and Reimu just says to her, "Over my dead body bitch." Like, I have no idea how to summarize their dynamic but like, it's the type of hero-villain dynamic where the phrase "We're not so different, you and I" would definitely be a phrase said during a fight. I think that if another IN style game were to release, Reimu and Zanmu would be in a team together. They could also have an interesting mentor and pupil kind of dynamic. Can you tell that Zanmu has been charging my mind rent these part few months? Like, instead of living in my head rent free, she kinda just uno reversed the whole situation and now she's the one charging me rent. What happens if I get evicted from my own brain? Actually, scratch that, I don't think I wanna know.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

what do you think of the rainy day fight bpp? we’ve heard both sides’ version of the story but what really gets me is how jungkook during festa 2020 didn’t even feel any secondhand embarrassment when jimin was telling the story when all the other 5 members were feeling it lol jungkook was kind of endeared by the memory by the way he was smiling

***

Aren’t they just adorable?

Jimin was doing major damage control in that Festa 2020 live lmao. The members were calling it a romance drama, Jimin took over the telling from Jungkook, saying a whole lot without saying too much, and Jung Kook had the silliest most endeared smile on his face the whole time.

When Jungkook calls Jimin his catalyst, I feel the rainy day fight shows us one of the best examples of how Jimin fills that role for Jungkook.

My quick summary of what the rainy day fight was given what jikook have said about it: There was tension in the group due to how (a hormonal teenage) Jungkook behaved and treated his hyungs. Stern words were exchanged and everybody left the practice room, except Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin then had a frank conversation with Jungkook which ended with Jimin saying something to the effect of ‘if this is how you’re going to be, fine. I won’t care about you anymore.’

I feel like Jimin to that point had been Jungkook’s biggest support and most ardent advocate. I’ve talked before about how the attention Jimin showered on Jungkook in their early years was genuine and partly served the purpose of helping establish the maknae centrally within the group. Jungkook is someone who needs a lot of love, by his own admission, and Jimin is someone for whom giving love is instinct. It’s natural to him. They were both far from home and found home in each other.

I think the rainy day fight was one of the first times it really hit Jungkook how much he loved and relied on Jimin. Left alone in that practice room, rain pouring down hitting the roof tops, Jungkook felt a world in which Jimin treated him like any other bandmate was unbearable. He realized that for Jimin to even make a comment like that, he must’ve fucked up royally. It caused him to reflect and before long, he ran after Jimin.

We all know how the story ends, with jikook finding each other in the rain, hugging it out, and talking way past midnight on the roof of their dorm. The guys have said this happened in 2015 or 2016.

There’s no bigger Jimin Stan than Jungkook, and no bigger Jungkook Stan than Jimin. This hasn’t changed in 10+ years. And this is the thing that I find most interesting about jikook: how consistent they are. Not even the most highly awarded Oscar winner can put on an act for 10+ years, and then even when off the clock, choose to spend 18 months joined at the hip while completing a mandatory military service, all to serve a company’s fan service narrative.

Anybody who thinks Jungkook hates Jimin, would do anything malicious to him, or that Jimin thinks somehow less of Jungkook or would put up with bullshit from Jungkook because Jimin is oh so kind… anyone who thinks this is insane. In my opinion.

I’m talking daft as a brush, mad like a rabbit on crack. Just plain delusional, no two ways about it. Jikook are the og “you are me, I am you.” The rainy day fight is one of the key instances we see this play out, crystal clear.

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader ⛏️

(First Kiss Edition!)

(Not my picture!)

(I thought this song was perfect for this, I remember watching this in the movie theaters way back when, loved it and still do. The first time I saw a representation of some of my culture on that scale, such an underrated movie.)

- In any situation you guys are in, working together or having two different jobs? I don’t think it’d be a surprise when I say the first kiss happens very early into the relationship and they’re the one to initiate it.

- No coaxing or dancing around the subject, you’re getting kissed like three days into the relationship tops.

- If you guys work for Overwatch together, and y’all won a particularly rough mission after going back and forth with the enemy, emotions are high as the celebration of the triumph proceeds.

- It happens so suddenly, like you’re next to Venture, happy as a clam after putting your all into your fighting. Then, out of nowhere, you’re getting grabbed and pulled into a sudden and passionate kiss that leaves you stunned and flushed, silent as a church mouse when they pull away.

- You know that one scene in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ Where Roger kisses Detective Valiant as if his life depended on it? It’s along the lines of something like that.

- You probably said something like, “I could kiss you right now!” After they saved you from getting pulverized and in their mind they went “Bet”.

- Trust me, they’re also kind of surprised that they actually did it—

- Time freezes for a moment as y’all kissed cause the team to go silent before an uproar from the particularly positive teammates— Causing even more cheering, especially if you have someone like Reinhardt on the team, he’d hype you guys up so much.

- That or if you guys are archeologists or simply have different jobs from one another it’s more private and Sloane can try to convince you that it was on purpose. But in Overwatch? Fuck no lol.

- The whole roster was like 80% sure you guys were a thing, but that went up 1000% when Sloane kissed you as if they needed it to breathe.

- Spreads like wildfire and by the end of the day everyone knows you guys are a couple, and a rather cute one on top of that.

- At least you guys don’t have to tell everyone that you’re a thing now.

- It makes Venture a little sad. They were planning something big to announce it cause they felt like it needed to be as special as they think your guys’s relationship is. They were biting back the urge to brag about it for 72 hours (the longest time they’ve ever kept something like that to themselves besides their feelings before you guys were a thing), all for naught.

- Reassure them it isn't a big deal and that if they look at it from a different perspective, the first kiss was a great way of doing it.

- They’ll spring back up when you say that, saying something like “Oh I planned to do it like that anyways!”

- You know, like a liar.

- Besides that little hiccup, it was a great first kiss, they wouldn't have it any other way.

- As one might expect, everyone has different views on the matter, with the positive ones that are like “Aweee look at them go!” And think it’s cute: (Ana, D.Va, Junkrat; a mix between neutral but more positive nonetheless, Kiriko, Lucio, Lifeweaver, Illari, Mei, Mercy, Reinhardt, Sigma; same as Junkrat)

- Neutral, like, “Oh, cool, congrats Ig”: (Brigitte; a bit more positive but still neutral, Baptiste, Bastion, Cassidy, Echo, Genji, Hanzo, Junker Queen, Orisa, Symmetra, Torbjorn, Solider 76, Roadhog, Sombra, Sojourn, Winston, Zarya, and Zenyatta: same as Brigitte but a bit more happy)

- Then the negative, the “I don’t need to know about about that you keep that to yourself”: (Ashe, Doomfist, Moira; sassy about it, Mauga; He’s like an annoying older brother that is constantly trying to embarrass their younger sibling— That sibling rivalry between him and Venture is wildddd, Reaper, Ramattra; a bit more neutral, Wrecking Ball; Blunt and mean about it too lmao, Widowmaker; graduated with her master’s degree in the art of being a hater).

(FINALLY! On the last scheduled headcanon post! Yippeee! Hopefully I’ll now be able to get some requests from y’all now that I’m done with this last one!)

[spirit-lanterns]

I'm kind of also thinking that Android!Natasha has built-in spray that is usually meant to soothe nerves and help people fall asleep. She also probably has like, medicines, bandages and stuff, because I half-think that she might've been on the battlefield at some point (her codename being Wildfire). She definitely wasn't in the midst of fighting, like Kafka, or Topaz, but has a bit of experience due to being essentially a battlefield-nurse, along with a typical Healthcare bot. Maybe she had an owner transfer? Or maybe her previous owner was a veteran that had to go back to fighting, and brought along Natasha.

Anyway, now that her uses are mostly for Engineer, I kind've feel like Natasha would also secretly have gotten some kind of aphrodisiac spray!

(I almost feel it would be a little funny for Natasha to have "accidentally" used the aphrodisiac spray before bed when she said she was going to use lavender roomspray to help you de-stress ehee!)

BTW! We now have large-chest-lore! She stores all of the dry-medicine (bandages, band-aids, cotton balls and swabs, uhm... other, not-liquid and non-pills) in her chest for emergencies.

Ps: her scent-spray vents are under the collarbone, and on her lower back. There's two in case one expires, go dry, or if she wants to just spritz a room in passing.

"Hey! Wait a second! That doesn't work with the in-game model! If she were to spray, it wouldn't leave the inside of her clothes!"

You might be saying after you read this whole ask.

And to that I say, "uh... hmm... oh! She has a slit in her clothing for this very purpose!"

Her clothing is a little more low-cut for her top, but not by much. It's just past the collarbone, post-scent-vent

And since I think that the little dress-thingie is cute with the adorable little tassel-frills I'm just putting a slit in the back like I said previously

Huh, these ideas are a bit weird...

Anyway!

—🪽

🪽 anon just casually dissecting each Android’s model and purpose and giving them cool functions that I myself could never think of :0

I love all these ideas so much! So many interesting functions and capabilities for Android! Natasha, I like that you gave her a reason for her big chest to be used as storage for medical supplies lol. Also, I think it’d be unique if the palms of Natasha’s hands could be used as defibrillators like Baymax does, so she is useful for resuscitating people during an emergency.

I also really love the idea of Android! Natasha being an old war Android that healed soldiers on the battlefield. It would explain why she’s a healthcare android who is capable of wielding a bazooka gun 😅

[moonrisecoeur]

IM BACK CUZ IM MENTALLY UNWELL OK. and yes you’re the best sub Leon writer 😏🥱 and yes I liked it, SITTING ON HIS FACE? 😍🥱

I’m so sorry for blasting ur req box but YOURE AN ACTUALLY GOOD SUB LEON WRITER SO can you blame me? concept: idk why but re4 Leon is so free use coded and so imagine he is on a mission with a new assigned partner but she’s an asshole to him (“fuck off man, I can do it myself, “I don’t need your help”, “you’re too nice and gonna be taken advantage of 😐”, etc. You get the gist) and his goofy ass just tryna be nice and helpful, cuz this is leon we are talking about. But the fun part ⁉️ they have cameras installed in the hideout they are saying at for security purposes. But ofc, Leon always tries to check on reader to make sure she’s ok - even if she’s an asshole to him. AND YK WHAT READER DOES 😭 she’s way too horny and just goes at it, girl got a masturbation problem on god. Every night. One night - wrong time and place - Leon opens his laptop to see the cameras making sure she’s ok AND HELP HE SEES HER … yk. And he feels guilty like he shouldn’t watch but he does anyways. And this goes on for weeks. Until one night he’s sick and tired of her always being so mean and he accidentally lets it slip that he’s been watching her LOL AND SHES LIKE UHM BOY WHAT 🙄⁉️ and he tries to play it off like “I didnt mean to” but like, my brother in Christ… you’ve been watching every night for weeks 🤨 wdym you didn’t mean to? ANYWAYS LONG STORY SHORT SHE PUNISHES HIM AND HEAVYYYY ON THE FREE USE THING. Love you bae 😘

i made a couple minor changes just for convenience :) fem reader she/her pronouns!

also i didn’t write the smex scene IM SORRY but i have been working on this all day and i need to get to other asks but i promise i’ll write some more free use in the future because it’s so smexy

-

"look, i know you don't like me-"

"oh? really? tell me what you think you know, kennedy," you scowl at him, and though it spooks him just a little, he tries to seem unphased.

he frowns, not hurt by your words but definitely concerned that you'll make a bad partner, "you don't need to be this hostile. we're allies. we're supposed to have each other's backs."

"right..." your voice echos, and leon knows that if it came down to it, you wouldn't protect him, wouldn't save him, would barely help him. he's practically on his own for this mission, just has an extra body with him to shoot at the bad guys.

it hurts, to some degree, because even without knowing you well, and even with you being cold and rude to him, he knows he'd come to your rescue in a heartbeat. something about him feels fond of you, even though in your entire time knowing leon kennedy, you haven't said one nice thing to him.

he thinks that maybe he likes that you've never been nice to him. he doesn't really know what to do with that thought.

-

leon is proved wrong.

despite the harshness of your words, you come to his rescue, fighting off the villager who almost decapitated him with an axe like both of your lives depend on it (because they do).

he watches you fight nervously, but when you come out on top, aside from the gash wound you take to the hip, he feels his heart skip a beat.

"this is what happens when you hurt my partner," you groan, holding your side, trying to speak through the pain even though leon can see the blood seeping between your fingers.

you whisper something in your victim's ear, something leon can't quite make out, before you kill him. leon wonders what it was briefly. he decides it doesn’t matter.

you both breathe a sigh of relief, but it's short lived as you collapse to the ground. you saved him. you got hurt saving him.

"here, let me help you," he mutters, coming over to you, not even stopping to ask if you want his help because he knows you'll say no, "stop fighting me. you're hurt and i need to patch you up."

the pain is agonizing, but even through gritted teeth and tense breaths, you push through it. he has to commend you a little bit, you're tougher than you look.

but when you try to push his hand away, claiming "i'm fine, kennedy," he sees the struggle in your face, hears the hurt in your voice. his heart seems to stop. he's worried, "i can do it myself, you don't have to- fuck, dude, i don't need your help-."

"-just relax, okay? i got you..”

you don't have the strength to push him away, but you know you shouldn't anyway, so you just slouch back against the wall and try to breathe, "fine, just fuckin... hurry up."

"i'm just trying to take care of you. we're partners, right? i gotta look out for you," he smiles, trying to lighten the mood even slightly. he wishes that this would be the time the barriers come down, that those skyscraper walls that prevented him from coming any closer to you emotionally could come crashing down, if only for a moment.

"you don't have to do anything. you're choosing to put yourself in danger to help me," you groan as you lean back, looking up at the ceiling, "suprised that no one's tried to take advantage of your willingness to help before."

"someone did," he mutters annoyedly, focusing more on the wound then it being your wound, on your body. his eyebrows, almost naturally furrowed from years of stress, somehow make his face even more sad to gaze upon. it's not that he's unattractive, far from it, but he's... worn. tired. a piece of your heart, no matter how far you keep away from him, aches in sympathy.

-

leon carries you back to the safe room, a hideout you both are using to rest and recover in while you plot your next move. he lays his jacket on the ground to at least give you something comfortable to lie on. you don't look comfortable, but he can't do anything else to help you.

he looks through his things, trying to concoct something that will at least make you feel a little bit better. he finds a first aid spray, and his heart jumps out of his chest in excitement. he uses it to take care of your wound, and waits for you to wake up from your unconscious state.

he decides to go back out, hoping to maybe find some other things to help you both on your mission. he knows you'll berate him for leaving on his own, risking his own life needlessly. but god if he didn't imagine what it would be like if he found something you could really use, and watch your eyes light up. even if you didn't like him, you'd be happy. he wants to see you smile, to praise him for a job well done.

he cringes at how pathetic it sounds, but he sets off either way, leaving you wrapped in his jacket with a note from him saying what he's doing.

-

he doesn't do it intentionally. at least... not the first time. genuinely, he just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were alive and breathing and safe. and you definitely were.

he doesn't know why its so hypnotizing, why he can't put his goddamn phone away with the stupid security app on it. of course it's you, though. you're hypnotizing.

he watches every pixel, every distorted view of you touching yourself in the safe room, obviously unaware that he could... see this. he's glad there's no audio, or else he'd be unable to control himself, even in an abandoned building surrounded by zombies. maybe its the years that haven hardened him, burned the fear out of his soul and numbed him to the presence of those things, but he doesn't feel anything but uncontrollable desire right now.

have you been doing it the whole time? you both had spilt off from each other multiple times, and he would almost be upset at the idea that every time he was fighting for his life and barely, barely winning that fight each time, you were getting off a couple hundred feet from him in another room... if it wasn't so fucking hot to watch you masturbate.

he keeps watching until he notices that you're having an orgasm, body twitching and your chest heaving up and down as you take deep breathes. it's so fucking sexy, leon probably could have cum on the spot if he watched anymore.

-

you keep doing it. he keeps watching it. over the course of the mission (of course he had to be stuck on a long, secluded recon mission with you of all people) he's watched you too many times. he doesn't think he has enough fingers to count how many times, which either means he's been on this mission longer than he thought or you have a fucking addiction. he's almost kind of impressed at how efficient you are. takes you 10 minutes tops, and then you just get back up and keep on trucking? his sentimental, post-nut ass could never.

and, though you recovered from your wound, you haven't displayed any sense of gratitude for leon taking care of you when you passed out after getting hurt. not that he expects it, truthfully. you saved his life, he saved yours. you were even.

he just doesn't feel like he's broken any new ground. he feels like, if anything, you feel even further away, emotionally. he's about had it.

"hey, we need to talk," he says, ominously; he doesn't intend it to be so, "i understand you don't like me. it's fine. i don't even care anymore. but i am tired of you talking to me like i'm a pushover."

you look over at him, reloading your gun with a displeased look on your face. leon hates the inner urge he has to cave and apologize to you, as if his body would rather give up any sense of dignity he still has in favor of being slightly more tolerable to you.

"well? are you going to say something?"

you scoff, looking away, "didn't know you were so fucking sensitive, kennedy," and you turn around, ready to walk out, before he snaps, "this isn't a pleasure trip. sorry you're not having a good time."

"clearly you're having a good time with all the pleasure you're giving yourself while i'm trying not to die."

he stops. panicking. trying to think of how to spin the words he just said and make it not sound like he knew every tell you had when you were about to cum or exactly how you touch yourself in order to get yourself off quickly.

you stop as well. and you look back at him with this expression on your face that is completely unreadable.

maybe it wasn't the best move to reveal the only card he had left to play if it mean he would get this reaction out of you considering that, again, you so clearly do not like him.

... right?

"what... did you say, kennedy?" you ask, pure venom in your voice. it's not a question, you so clearly heard him correctly.

"i- i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that-"

"have you been watching me?" you take a step closer, eyes boring into his soul so intensely he can't make eye contact. he has no way out of this situation. he feels out of breath, nervous, god why are you getting so close to him? "answer me, leon," not kennedy, leon, "have you been watching me masturbate?"

he looks up, trying to keep himself from making eye contact. he knows the second he looks into your eyes, he will be putty in your hands, free for you to mold into whatever you'd like. he knows you're not looking at him with distain like usual, it's something else.

something hungry.

"yeah," he breathes, barely getting the world out at all. you take a deep breath, as if you're debating what you're going to do.

"what you did was wrong, you see that, right?"

"yes, i know, but-"

you scoff, annoyed. god why in this moment, just inches away from you, you notice the moles on his neck, the angle of his jaw, the entrancing aura of his eyes. it's so damn distracting, and you have to pull yourself together, "but nothing. you watched me without my consent, you got off on it, didn't you?"

"god, you're making it sound so bad, i... i'm sorry, okay? how can i make it up to you?" he asks, trying so damn hard as always to please.

this is where you come to realize that maybe you didn't hate leon kennedy all this time. maybe you found yourself too comfortable, too at ease in his presence. maybe he was safe and sweet and gentle and it didn't sit right because nothing in a world with zombies and bioweapons and cults and parasites was gentle. but leon is.

you look down, considering your options, "i have an idea. you're free to refuse and we go back to before, and you get nothing from me. do you want to hear it?"

"sure?"

you take a breath, going for it, "i’ll be… blunt. if you couldn’t tell, i’m a bit.. insatiable. i need something to get myself off now that i’m getting bored of my own hands out here. you help me, and i’ll forgive you for watching me.”

his thoughts stop. he genuinely can’t put together a coherent thought, what did you mean? "are you.. are you fucking serious? you barely speak to me, every time you do speak to me you act like i'm the scum of the earth, you act like i'm not here when i saved your ass and carried you and patched you up, i-”

you cut him off with a kiss. it’s not gentle, it’s rough and messy and your fingers dig into the skin of his cheeks, leaving him red and breathless. he finally gets it. you don’t want him to help you, you want to use him.

he lets you push him down, pin his body to the wall as you kiss him breathless. he lets you dig your nails into his neck even if it hurts. he lets you touch and kiss him as rough or as gentle as you like. and you don’t like being gentle, clearly.

“use me,” he whispers between kisses, and when you pull away, eyeing him intently, as if urging him to explain himself, he does, “do whatever you want. just keep going until you’re satisfied. don’t… don’t hold back. whatever pleases you… i want that. i want to please you.”

“awh, you just want me to be happy with you, don’t you?” you coo at him, endeared by his selflessness. truly a good man in a bad world, “that’s all you’ve ever wanted, hm? for me to like you?”

his resolve cracks just a little bit more, “uhm, yeah…” he his voice is shaky, unsteady, and he just needs to give in.

“then you’re going to let me do this every single time in horny and need something to get myself off. i’m going to do whatever i want to you, and i’m not going to ask. you’re just going to let me. if you don’t, then we go right back to being enemies, and you really don’t want that, right?”

he stutters aimlessly, his knees going weak. he’d truly be done for if you weren’t hold him up with a strength he did not know you had.

and you just keep going, “i’m not going to ask or care if it’s a bad time. i want it to be inconvenient, uncomfortable, ill-timed. i want it to be permanently in your head that i can have you whenever i want you. that i can do whatever i want to you.”

“only i get to have you, got it?”

“g-got it,” he mutters weakly, feeling your hands on him, touching him in places he hasn’t been touched in a while. he didn’t realize how desperate he was.

“only i get to touch you, only i… get to fuck you.”

he nods helplessly.

“it’s too bad i didn’t bring a dildo in my bag when we set off for this mission, because i would so fuck you with it until you’re seeing stars and apologizing for going behind my back… but i suppose i’ll just have to satisfy myself with your cock…”

[heartofwritiing]

I don’t deserve you, you deserve the world.

paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

summary: a very drunk wilbur makes a belated confession to you about how he has be feeling lately.

authors note: I literally had this in my drafts since february and forgot about it XD this is two times I've used lyrics of your sister was right as a fic title ahha! this is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only! hope you enjoyyy

warnings: wilbur has negative thoughts about himself (i love writing sensitive boys lol) alcohol consumption, fluff, pet names, wrote wil as a happy little drunk with mood swings, swearing, short, not proofread, unedited!

Wilbur stumbled through his apartment, leaning on a tipsy Joe, who was trying to not let Wilbur bump into anything.

After another very successful gig, the band decided that going out for drinks to end the night was the best thing to do to blow off the adrenaline.

Wilbur had taken one glance at his drink and thought fuck it, with the way his mindset had been, he needed something to numb his brain, even if it was just for a little while, and downed his first drink in one gulp. Letting the alcohol settle into his system.

One drink turned into three, then four, then by his sixth cup he was ready to fist fight a very amused Ash who had truly hadn’t consumed a single drop of alcohol that night.

-

You had been sleeping over at Wilbur's tonight. You said you wanted to see him after his show since you could not make it due to personal circumstances, but you would definitely be at the next lovejoy gig. He told you not to sweat about it and told you he wouldn't be home not too long after the performance.

Luckily Ash had messaged you notifying you that Wilbur would be home late due to getting drinks as a post show ritual after-party. You didn't mind, the band was getting more recognition which they deserved. He was so endlessly talented that he should have the right to celebrate the success along with his bandmates. So it was no surprise that around 11:40 pm you heard noises coming from the front room. You crawled out of your comfy position in Wilbur's bed and pushed yourself to the living room.

You then walk in on Joe kneeling over Wilbur who had fallen to the ground and was giggling incoherently about something. Joe had taken one sympathetic look at you and said “he’s all yours” offering Wilbur's hand to you that was clutching his wrist.

You bid goodnight to the boys, You waved to Mark and Ash who watched the interaction from the front doorway. When they shut the door behind them it was just you and Wilbur in in silence.

Glancing down at Wilbur you couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his state. His hair was disheveled, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top revealing his skin, and he looked so sleepy you felt so bad. He tried to pull himself off the ground, but he tripped over his feet, nearly causing you to topple over him. Luckily you caught yourself before you could fall.

Wilbur looked up at you his lips had the cutest pout resting on them but he shifted into a dopey grin upon realizing you were holding his hand. He was lifting your connected hands up like he was seeing you for the first time.

"darling! What are you doing here?" his voice was hoarse as he spoke, you knew it was the singing and the exhaustion catching up with him finally.

He must've forgotten in all the mist of the evening that you were staying over. Nonetheless, you didn't blame him, he had a pretty busy night.

Wilbur leans forward to attach himself to your waist, wrapping his free arm around your hip and pressing his face into your tummy. Warmth increased on your face at the gesture. Wilbur pressing so close to you made butterflies burst in your chest, which you didn’t mind at all he was being so clingy.

"I told you I wanted to stay over tonight, remember?" you said gently, carding your fingers through his locks. He hummed almost like a cat purring at your touch, nuzzling you further. "is that okay with you? I can leave?"

"no!" he instantly gripped your waist tighter, not wanting you to leave. "please, stay."

"Okay! I'll stay," You giggle, feeling his arms untighten slightly. "Let's get you into bed, yeah?"

Wilbur nods against your belly, and you pull him to stand up.

“I don’t deserve you..” he mumbled in your ear as he leaned on your for support had you walked to his bedroom. You didn’t quiet catch it you thought he was muttering something incoherent to himself. You shook of the frown

In his bedroom you help him to take off his shoes while he stumbles and almost tips over his feet. He mostly got himself undressed and put on his pajamas, which were just an old band shirt and sweatpants. Both of you crawled into bed with the hopes he would sleep off this drunken high and be his old self again in the morning.

Wilbur was curled into your side pulling you so close under the covers. You ran your hands through his hair as he blinked up at you.

“Darling do you love me?” he asked sincerely.

Your brain did a one-eighty with the tender tone of his voice. From his comment a minute ago to now this, It almost sounded like he had doubts about your feelings. You pulled back from him slightly so you could see him. exhaustion written all over his face.

“Of course I love you bub,” you reassured. “Why would you think I don’t?”

He looked away from you shyly like a kid who had gotten in trouble for doing something they knew was wrong. His hand came up to trace along the bottom of your shirt when it caught attention his eye.

“Well… sometimes I don’t think I'm good enough for you, that I have always not been good, and I'm scared that one day you’ll leave me just like everyone has in my life.”

Your heart sank at his drunken confession, but you could tell it was coming from a place of trueness and insecurity. It completely shattered you to hear this coming from Wilbur. Who was so wonderful and beyond anything you ever hopped for. To hear that he doubted himself and your relationship brought tears to your eyes. Your feelings for him were more than fondness, you loved him with everything you were and you couldn’t let him leave your life. he was your light at the end of the very dark tunnel, and you would just have to show him that.

“I'm too busy with my band, with my streaming, I feel like I neglect you too much, and I want you to have something better than all of this,” his lips slightly quiver. He moves to lower his head and bury it in your chest. However, you stop him with your hands coming up to gently cup around his face, to make him look you in the eyes. His eyes widened and his hands followed yours to grasp your face the same way in his woozy state. It was comical and made you smile at how he was trying to mimic your own action.

“I love you more than anything Wil, you’re so kind, supportive in everything I do, and- I would be so lost without you. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. You’re more than enough for me. You’re everything. I would never leave you, not even if you kicked me out of your life I am always gonna be here for you. nothing is ever gonna change that.” You let your heart take over with your words.

Wilburs eyes lit up and gloss over with tears, the contentment of your words hitting him through his senses making him break out into a dopey grin.

“Do you really mean that, love?” he croaks.

You nod.

He lets out a shaky breath and pulls you closer to him until your legs are intertwined.

“I know I'm super drunk right now and probably won’t remember much of this tomorrow but, I love you too, thank you for saying those nice things about me.“

You giggled and pulled him in for a short kiss to seal your own confession.

“I’ll gladly say them again.”

You pampered his face with kisses until he was a bright red giggling mess copying you, delivering even more kisses to your face. Once you finished, the small lamp on the bedside was turned off, and you succumbed to darkness, intertwining your limbs once more to settle down.

Sleep was just about to take over you when Wilburs slurred voice suddenly teased out to you through the dark.

“So what else do you love about me?”

“oh shut up,” you laugh.

-

Im gonna be starting a new tag list so please commet/reblog if you want to be added!

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[square-coconut]

Okay, so, I just finished Yakuza 3, and I have many, many mixed thoughts and feelings. I'm sure someone has said this before but I want to talk about the "parallelism" between Mine and Daigo (in Yakuza 0), because I just realized it and I'm okn't. If they did this on purpose, they are sick.

I'm sure we all understand the ending of Yakuza 3 by now. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. Not being able to establish any genuine relationship was creating a void within Mine that was getting bigger and bigger.

In his childhood he was unable to make any friend because for other people he had no value. This must be very hard for a child's development, but during adulthood it didin't get any better. He earned a lot of money so more people started approaching him, obviously in a interested way. That must have really hurt him and so his "beliefs" solidyfied and he didn't even try any more to connect with people. We know that, he literally says so.

So, in the "Family Heir" substory (Yakuza 0), Daigo talks about how he's experiencing something similar. It's more like what Mine experienced when he was an adult; everyone approaches him out of interest, for his money or his status, but the conclusion is the same; two children incapable of forming genuine relationships/friendships with the people around them.

The difference? Kiryu Kazuma threatening to beat him up (will work with me to, not gonna lie). I choose to believe it's on purpose. RGG really like their connected by fate gays, don't they?

The speech he gives to Mine is similar, a little faster but I mean, Mine was pointing a gun at him lol

And he proceeds to beat him up! That's Kiryu's love language I guess

The sad thing is that in the end he got it, the seed to change was there. It really seemed like he wanted to change but the feeling of "not deserving something real" won, especially after betraying one of the few persons he ever loved. I went into this fight hating this man and ended up crying.

Mine was right, I wish he had met them a little earlier in his life (difficult with both Kiryu and Daigo in prison lol).

And to be honest, I think it worked better with Mine than Daigo because if you look at Kiwami 2, it didn't look like he had any friend (does he have any now? Majima and Kiryu don't count, they're his parents)

In conclusion, being gay in Japan (2009) must have been hard enough to justify going to therapy, I can't imagine dealing with this on top of that.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 157 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 14… IN THIS CHAPTER OF ALL CHAPTERS…????

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

Congrats to 157 for taking 144's crown as the Oshi no Ko chapter that has vexed and confused me the most. Taken entirely in isolation, it's a sweet, lowkey, calm before the storm moment… but it's entirely because it stands in such stark isolation from the events surrounding it that it feels so baffling. It's like an amped up version of the issues with 156 - when viewed in isolation, you can't strictly say there's anything wrong with it, but as a part of the sequential storytelling of Oshi no Ko it just feels off. I'm reminded of the weird, off-kilter pacing of the Movie Arc, where story beats fell at weird places as if the story was falling out of tempo with itself. Because of that, this chapter review is probably going to be a bit disjointed but tbh besties i am fighting for my life on this one

I will say at the top of things though that it's darkly funny to me that we're fastforwarding through so much of the B-Komachi tour lol. Offscreen no Ko strikes again!

Honestly, this chapter in general kind of defies any attempt at a beat by beat analysis though that does seem to largely be by design. As the chapter title suggests, this is simply some pagetime spent on letting us stew in what a calm, ordinary day looks like for the twins and for what it is, it's sweet and chill. Taken on its own there isn't really a ton to pick apart, other than just pointing at what moments I found cute which was like 90% of them. I want a 5 chapter mini arc of AQRB goofing around at the grocery store and squabbling over the cooking together.

I also really like that Aqua is the one to suggest doing something nice for Miyako and that he joins Ruby in waiting up for her to get home and see it. It feels like a sweet and warm acknowledgement of the subtle shift in their relationship after 155, with the two of them properly stepping into their roles as parent and child.

As nice as this chapter is though, it does kind of feel like too little too late. One of the major complaints across the series (that I do largely agree with) is that Aqua and Ruby's day-to-day dynamic is for the most part underbaked and that the two of them don't really feel like people who grew up in the same household for 16+ years. I think a few more moments like this properly threaded through the manga would have helped but… well, considering OnK's pacing, do I really want to encourage much more downtime…

Moving on from the things I liked, as cute as this chapter was it's also just kind of weird that so much of it feels like the framing device is a recap episode lol. I guess it isn't the worst idea in the world to have one as we're heading into the final stretch of the story but… well, again, see my point above about weird pacing.

It's also just baffling as fuck to see Ruby frame these events in a way that distinctly did not happen lol. Like, sure, she was definitely having fun doing idol stuff for a lot of it but seeing her so warmly gas up stuff like Tokyo Blade when the anime airing right now is reminding us that Aqua was going through the SpongeBob horror hallway the entire time is so jarring - especially when Aqua (and thus, implicitly, the narrative) agrees with her. I mean, fuck, even putting Aqua aside it's WILD to see Ruby framing "Dig Deep" as having been fun for her when her major contribution to the show was manipulative drama stirring for the purposes of chasing clout that she herself said was having an impact on her mental health. I've criticized the story for the ways Ruby's black hoshigan arc amounted to nothing but there's a special kind of infuriating in seeing it specifically call back to that arc and still fail to actually acknowledge any wrongdoing on Ruby's part.

This is part of a much bigger trend in OnK right now of Ruby being super coddled by the narrative and coming off in some really unpleasant ways as a result. I didn't mention it last chapter but something that's been percolating in my brain since after I wrote my review is just how fucking bonkers Ruby's total non-respose to Mem's situation is. "Oh, you're getting stalked by the press? Sucks to be you, thank god I'm Miyako's special little favourite tho 🙏". Not only is this just kind of a shitty response to begin with but it feels insane coming from a person like Ruby who, you know, saw her mother's life blighted and then ended by this kind of treatment. No concern for Mem, tho!

Idk. I don't want to dislike Ruby but man. A lot of the ways Akasaka has been playing favourites with her lately has the effect of Ruby coming off, in universe, like a deeply self centered and callous person in ways I don't think narrative intends or even realizes and thus fails to interrogate in a satisfying way. But that's a rant for another day. And I'm pretty sure you guys already know what today's rant is gonna be. Which is to say, uh…

HEY. AKASAKA. ARE THEY GONNA TALK ABOUT… ANY OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE ARC?? ANYTHING AT ALL????

This is what I meant when I said this chapter utterly fucking bamboozled me. The way the story has contorted itself into knots to avoid letting Aqua and Ruby have a conversation even when they're literally in the same room is already insane, but giving us an entire chapter of them alone together with ample opportunity to have any sort of meaningful discussion as to the gigantic elephant in the room looming over their relationship and……. literally nothing happens???

This is made even more insanity inducing by the fact that this is, as stated above, more or less a recap chapter and not only does Ruby talk about the movie specifically but we even SEE a flashback to the HikAi kiss…. but not the one Ruby jumpscared him with at the end of 143!!!

What the fuck is even going on anymore? Was it retconned? Resolved offscreen?? Did we collectively hallucinate it??? Is Akasaka gaslighting us????

If nothing else, this chapter has proved to me once and for all that whatever goes on with Aqua and Ruby, that resolution is going to come entirely at the speed of plot, as and when Akasaka decides to do it and not when it would be natural and organic for development to occur. This is an issue that has plagued Aqua and Ruby's r/s from the start, where Akasaka simply refuses to let them communicate, seemingly for the purposes of drawing out the drama rather than because of any narrative justification. So I'm giving on predicting what direction their relationship is going in and what the outcome is going to be. The inner machinations of Aka Akasaka's mind are a mystery to me.

To pre-pick some nits before I leave off… I've seen some people calling this a 'Tanabata chapter' and insisting this is intentional/foreshadowing aquruby end/etc and uh… sorry to be that guy but no it's not lol. Even accounting for the differences in calendars that scatters Tanabata celebrations across July and August, August's Tanabata falls on the 10th this year - and even in the anime world, celebrations across Japan took place on the 'official' date of 7/7. And while there is a Tanabata festival being held in Sendai today… that's just in Sendai, which is all the way up in northern Japan, nowhere near Tokyo where the series is set (and which itself had its Tanabata celebrations on the weekends surrounding 7/7 as per usual.)

There's also just the fact that this chapter… has nothing to do with Tanabata? There's no imagery or iconography and it takes place in the middle of December lol. I simply don't think it was intentional at all on Akasaka's part. It's a cute coincidence, sure, but still just a coincidence.

break next week. i love biweekly manga, oshi no ko.

[literaila]

I need satoru and reader to actually confront some of their issues bro😭😭😭 I feel like they would after so long and them just pushing eachother away every time they get upset hurts. Like their relationship doesn’t feel serious 💀😭😭 they don’t have to confront everything all at once but I definitely think they would start communicating better and not just keep going in a loop. I love angst and hurt comfort but I need more comfort 😩

the thing about their relationship is that it is so unserious.

i mean, both of them have grown up in places where everything was overtly serious—reader had to grow up and learn how to take care of herself, and satoru has always had to be a grown up, the strongest.

so although i agree that they never really talk out their issues, necessarily (or at least not on screen)—they also don’t need to.

there’s a strong understanding between the two of them. and something a lot of people miss (or i don’t describe very well lol) is that reader needs someone like satoru—someone who doesn’t want to be serious, or talk about everything—and satoru needs someone like reader—someone to care, someone to keep him grounded.

and when they’re avoiding each other, it’s because there’s so much that both of them need to comprehend. and understanding someone like that can be very fulfilling, but also equally exhausting.

also! i must add that i really don’t write about a lot of every day things for them—because it’s not very… helpful in guiding plot purposes. but they fight a lot less than as seen. or there’s subtle corrections:

“satoru, if you keep leaving your disgusting mugs in the sink, i’m going to plunge all six of your eyes from out of your skull.”

“that’s impossible.”

a harsh glare and satoru holds his hands up in defense. “okay. no more mugs. how about bowls?”

“satoru—“

or in a more serious case:

“please stop telling megumi that he should be on the lookout for curses at school.”

“it’s a school,” satoru points out. “and megumi is basically a beacon of cursed energy.”

“that doesn’t mean he needs to worry about it every second of the day.”

“he needs to keep his guard up. it’s good practice.”

“he doesn’t need to do anything.”

satoru smiles. “sweetheart, do you want him to be hurt at school? in front of his classmates?”

“well…”

“he’s a strong kid, and he already knows about them. you can’t just expect him to forget because you’d rather him not care.”

you pout.

satoru kisses the top of your head. “he’s just going to go down to the nurses office and call one of us, just so we know.”

“fine. but i’m not dealing with it.”

“wow, you’re a real slacker, you know?”

readers biggest flaw is that she wants to deal with everything on her own, and she thinks that the world is naturally evil. she’s good at talking her feelings out—but sometimes feelings aren’t logical. they can’t be. and living with two children is definitely helping her realize that.

satoru’s biggest flaw is that he’s spent his whole life holding everyone at arms length. infinity is a huge clue to his character, and how he relates to others (it’s my favorite detail about him, can you tell??). but he has to let it go, release his limitless technique, so he can get close to reader and the kids.

they’re taking steps, albeit baby ones, but steps nonetheless.

(plus, with their relationships in the past, the moment something’s gone wrong, people leave. so they both have abandonment issues, and yes, it’s so much easier to avoid a conversation than risk losing the person you love most in the world).

it also feels important to note that parents (most of them, at least) can’t focus so much on themselves. and it plays a big role in struggling families and relationship problems. because having kids is a devotion, a huge responsibility, there’s less time for other things.

so really, i think they’re doing pretty good. i mean, if toji hadn’t died—or hadn’t existed—their relationship would be more developed, obviously. stronger. but for their circumstance, they’re two very strong and intelligent people.

and they love each other, so what else matters?

[happysparklingshadows]

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚘 + 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝 (’96)

Warnings: Gore, Drug use, Being high and having sex, Smut, Mentions of threats of suicides and self hard, Cannibalism, and mature themes.

Note: So sexy and so hard to write for lol! I hope you like this! @zhivaxo​ @g1rlsriot

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Natalie is such a simp. They will hug you randomly, hold your hand while walking, kiss you when you aren’t paying attention, and draw shapes into your arm while you go to bed. Natalie will do anything for you if it would make you happy and make you stay. Natalie is very intense when she wants to be. Nat doesn’t care if it’s too much, she knows you understand her as she understands you, and she doesn’t care if it scares you. Nat whispers sweet nothings in your ears while you cuddle or when she holds you while you want the hunt beside her. Natalie is a huntress and will fight for you and with you to understand that she is your protector and provider. I just want you not to get worried if Natalie comes to you with wide manic eyes and tells you how much she loves you, how pure you indeed are, and how good you are. You are her purpose. 

Blood: How messy are they willing to get regarding their darling?

Natalie isn’t afraid to do anything to protect and keep her favorite person. But Natalie wouldn’t want you to see her like this, violent and ruthless, so she does any fights or killing behind your back. Nat is more willing to control the situation to keep you than to kill someone. Natalie is the one who comes up with the tiger pits and how they will hunt each other in the wilderness, she doesn’t mind if you are fed and full. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Fuck no. Natalie wouldn’t kidnap you but keep you in an invisible cage beside her. You can’t leave her. She doesn’t mock you because she doesn’t want you to leave her. She doesn’t want to give you a reason. 

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

She would pressure her into having drugs with her. I can see her making you take acid and have a wonderful time and telling you in a vulnerable state that you two were born for each other and were meant to be together now. And you would believe it wholeheartedly, and it would lead to having some awesome high sex. 

“You’re so beautiful…” You sigh as you run a finger down her nose to her lips. An aura shines off of Natalie that is like a rainbow of love radiating off of her. Her baby blue eyes stare into your face with a soft fondness. “God, princess, you are so fucking gorgeous.” 

She rolls on top of you on the bed, and you giggle as you wrap your arms around her neck to kiss her lips. It felt like heaven to touch her. It tingled your fingertips to feel her; it felt like you were in the best place in the world in her arms. Natalie kisses you and lays her body weight onto yours, her pelvis against yours. 

She rolls her hips against yours and sighs; she looks into your blown-out eyes and says as she rubs against yours deliciously, “You were born for me, do you feel it? We were meant to be here.” 

“Yes,” You moan and kiss her lips sloppily as your hand claws into her shirt to let you feel her skin against your lips. 

“Fuck, yes.” Natalie whimpers as she rocks her hips and hitches when you roll back against her. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Teen Natalie would expose her whole heart to you, and she would just love you seriously as she does with Travis. Because Travis isn’t messing with her heart, Natalie feels safe with you and lets you express everything. Everything in the relationship is codependent, and every thought, feeling, and sense is shared. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

I feel like Natalie is not pretty in a fight. I feel like Teen Natalie has an extremely anxious attachment style and will do anything to keep you by her in a fight. If you leave for air, you are abandoning her. If you sigh, you don’t care anymore. If you look away, you don’t want her. She will say some evil shit in a fight to keep you in front of her fight because at least you are still engaging with her. I see Natalie have tears in her eyes, wrapping her arms around you to stop you from leaving and begging you to stop, begging the world to stop. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No, she is very deadass about everything with you. You are her world, and she doesn’t think you even moving an inch is a funny matter. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

She will export her mental illness and threaten to harm herself to various degrees to keep with her. She knows it's fuck up, but it doesn’t fucking matter if you are still with her. 

Lies to you about where the meat came from. It came from your best friend, and she fed it to you in the eyes of it being deer meat, that it was nothing to worry about. You were losing too much weight. You would learn in the morning the truth, and it breaks something inside of you.

 “Get the fuck away from me!” 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry! Please, listen to me!” 

“NO! HOW DARE YOU!” You sobbed violently out in the winter air. The scraps of your best friend on top of a pile of burnt wood and a dead fire. She was cooked. The one who braided your hair, let you cry on her shoulder, talked to you about boys and gossiped about girls with, laughed with, grieved with, the girl you went to pre-school with, and survived a plane crash together. She is gone. You told her goodnight, and now she is dead and gone in the morning like she was nothing but a deer in the woods. 

Gone into your stomach and is digested. You broke her down in your stomach and carried her life inside you. 

“Please! You were starving, and you were going to die!” 

“I WOULD HAVE RATHER DIED!” You cried hysterically as the other girls circled the porch, watching as you died inside. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Natalie doesn’t have a clean-cut plan because she doesn’t have one for herself, let alone her life with you. I see her getting with you in the wilderness, it allows her to be gay and let go of a lot of her comfort, so she just wants to live to see the next day. She doesn’t want to live without you, but it is too painful for Natalie to think about a life IF they get rescued, which is getting bleaker by the minute. 

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Natalie gets jealous, but she copes pretty well. I think Natalie would just try harder to get your attention because, of course, others want you. You are you. It doesn’t feel well, and she wants to fucking cut them open, but she just moves on from it quickly because it’s her that you sleep with at night. 

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Being with Natalie is like that puppy dog “us against the world” love; she treats you like this precious person. You are her favorite person and her only comfort. I believe Natalie has Bpd and would put her partner on a pedestal, always returning to them repeatedly. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You and Natalie were always friends on the team, and you were friends with Shauna and Jackie more than her. And when the crash happened, and you two were the best shots in the team, you two naturally become closer when you are hunting together. You smoke some pot, and things just happen from there. 

Sitting in the plane that almost killed you doesn’t seem to have the dreading and glooming aura it usually does, all because of the girl in front of you rolling a joint. 

You giggle as you watch her lip the paper. You watch her twist the paper gently to close it up for you both to smoke it. She lifts and places the joint to your lips and smirks slightly.

“Okay, pretty princess, take it easy and suck in slowly.” She rasped to you as she lit the end with her lighter, her eyes flicked back up to your eyes. 

As she said, you suck in the joint with your eyes looking down at hers. You wanted to kiss her and have her eyes on you constantly.  

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from how they act around everyone else?

No, Natalie is just Natalie. She doesn't like masking and acting “formal” or “professional” because it is just not her vibe. Natalie is straight up with her feelings, and Nat would never act out of line. She just does her own thing. 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Natalie is into spanking her partners, and she wouldn’t be above tying you up if you were very rotten. But if it was something small, she just rolls her eyes and makes a snarky comment but gets over it. 

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

None, except your free will to leave the relationship. She will do anything and threaten anyone to keep you. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Natalie usually needs to be more patient, but she tries her hardest with you. She gives you time to figure out her instructions, or when you're lining up a shot, or you try to figure out how to grab the antler of a buck you have killed together. Inside Natalie, it feels like a little kid stomping their feet, begging you to hurry up with things in your relationship. She wants to say I love you in the first few days, she wants to have sex very soon, and she wants to have some proof of devotion to your relationship very early. But she understands, and it happens when you are ready to do anything like that with her. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

I believe you and Natalie made a pact to never kill yourselves no matter what happens because you two must live together and keep going on. If you die, she would have to move on because of the pact, but she would never find someone again because of all the trauma of losing you and probably eating you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Natalie would feel bad for how she acts sometimes because she can’t control herself. She feels like a fucking weird imperfect freak that can only fuck things up. That said, Natalie will never let you go because of that. You are the only thing she hasn’t fucked up. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Childhood. I think that Natalie growing up in an abusive low-income home, with parents beating each other and being the worst versions of themselves, really affected Natalie’s idea of love. She always knew her parents were horrible to each other. She would watch princess movies with her parents' screams echoing in the kitchen. Nat always wanted to find an escape, someone to save her, some kind of Prince to come by and save her. As she grew up, she grew bitter at the idea and didn’t even like men if they were anything like her dad. Most are like her dad in her eyes. It became more significant; Nat needed something bigger and more consuming than just being together. Marriage meant nothing to her, but being stuck and interconnected with someone else was all she wanted—someone who couldn’t leave her and someone who would love her. 

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Horrible. Terrible. Natalie would start to cry and try desperately to fix the issue, explain herself, anything. If it were just out of a need to release a feeling, she would be beside you, letting you vent anything you need with a hand on your back. She loves you so much, and it hurts her to see you cry. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic Yandere?

I think that Natalie is not all that uncommon, and her tendencies seem more like a more extreme relationship with someone with Bpd (as someone with bpd), and it would be something that Natalie would try to suppress as much as possible. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit to escape?

Boozes, weed, and her fear of abandonment. She would fold to what you wanted her to do if you mentioned or implied any of them. You can leave her if you need to “escape” from her, but she will always find her way back to you and her together. 

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Emotionally, never physically. Natalie would though some things from her past, how you don’t love her enough, and she would just though things you would never want to hear from someone you love. She has terrible impulse control.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

The ends of the fucking earth. She would do anything for you and fucking hurt, burn, stab, and destroy whatever has to do for you. Nothing will stop her. No morals, laws, or ethics could make her slow down with her goal. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

It takes a couple of days to realize and then act on her urges. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Co-dependence and drug use. I feel like weed and alcohol, and more profound drugs to exploit your vulnerability and love. The events of the wilderness make it impossible for you two not to build a codependent relationship because it is us against the world. 

Yandere Level

 8/10 (You are very aware that you are in a codependent relationship that leads to the toxic side sometimes, but you don’t know how far Natalie will actually go for you) 

Freedom Level

8/10 (You have your own life but Natalie would like to be not that far behind. She doesn’t overstay her welcome but is always at a arms length distance for you to have her)

Lottie  ✿  Misty