#toph: rude I’m literally right here

[humblesidekick]

Sokka: man, my back hurts

Katara: why? it’s not like you bend or anything lmao

Sokka: it’s from carrying this ENTIRE GROUP’S sense of FUCKING HUMOR

[passable-talent]

part 4 was so so good!!!!! can you make a part 5? i’m in love with your writing and that series!!! you’re feeding my need for zuko content and i love u for that.

it literally took exactly 19 minutes to get a request for part 5

THANK U THO SHDBCNDGS IM HAPPY YOURE ENJOYING WHAT I DO

been excited to get back to this one, y’all aren’t ready 😏

OKAY I SAID YALL WERENT READY BEFORE I EVEN WROTE IT BUT NOW IVE WRITTEN IT AND LET ME FUCKING REITERATE: YALL ARE NOT F U C K I N G R E A D Y

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |

For chapter five, and my five hundred follower special, we will go back to spring of the year 100 AG, right before Azula’s coup succeeded in their destruction of Ba Sing Se . . .

“So what’s happening?” You asked Mushi as the two of you hurried through the streets of the upper ring.

“Come close,” Mushi answered, and your footsteps brought you beside him.

“My nephew and I are more than refugees,” he began, “my name is Iroh, and I am the brother of the Fire Lord. My nephew, Zuko, is the banished prince of the Fire Nation. I’m sorry we lied to you, but we needed to, in order to stay in Ba Sing Se where we were safe from our family.” Your head reeled, but you kept beside him, because still you trusted this man. You were trained to react and to think, thanks to the Dai Li, so you analyzed his words.

“Were?” you questioned, wondering why he seemed to suggest that he was no longer safe.

“My niece, Princess Azula, has infiltrated the city. She tried to capture me- she did capture Zuko.” Your eyes widened, and your speed increased beside Iroh. “I need your help to retrieve him, and the Avatar’s. That’s where we’re headed.” You looked up at the house you were approaching, half caved in from some sort of destruction. What had happened here?

“The Avatar?” you asked, and Iroh nodded, pausing in front of the door to knock politely. You waited beside him, but held your forehead- you were so shocked about everything you were finding out.

Zuko- not Lee. The banished prince of the Fire Nation. You hadn’t even known that the prince of the Fire Nation had been banished! What else didn’t you know about the other nations of the world beyond the walls of Ba Sing Se?

Why had this information been kept from you? You were training to be in the Dai Li, one of the best and most important police forces of the Earth Kingdom, shouldn’t this information be privy to you? Why wasn’t it?

You were pulled from your thoughts as a girl opened the door, and regarded Iroh with friendliness.

“I need your help,” he began, and you watched the reactions of the other two at the door. They seemed frightened by Iroh- what kind of history had they that you weren’t aware of?

Why were you kept in the dark about everything?

“You guys know each other?” demanded the boy you had to assume was the avatar, who didn’t seem much concerned with your presence. Maybe it was the earth kingdom robes?

“I met him in the woods once, and knocked him down,” answered the girl, and with her gaze that didn’t seem focused on the avatar you wondered if maybe she was blind. She, however, seemed like a strong earthbender. It was one of the things you were trained to pick up on in the Dai Li, and relied entirely on how a person carried herself. “Then he gave me tea and some very good advice.”

“May we come in?” Iroh asked sheepishly, and you wondered why there wasn’t more urgency to his tone.

“Who’s your friend?” the clearly water tribe boy demanded, and you lifted your chin, being acknowledged.

“I’m Y/N, a soon-to-be member of the Dai Li,” you answered, “You can trust me.”

“The Dai Li?” Avatar Aang responded, more shock in his face than before.

“That makes us even less likely to trust you!!” the water tribe boy shouted, and your eyebrows knitted together.

“The Dai Li are the protectors of the city!” you said, though you felt doubt gnaw at your spine- they had kept so much from you, their own cadet.

Iroh turned his eyes to you, and something in his gaze told you to hush up.

“Princess Azula is here, in Ba Sing Se,” Iroh told them, his tone stern and serious.

“She must have Katara!” Aang said, and you looked to Iroh. You didn’t know these people- but that Azula would capture both Zuko and a friend of the avatar meant that she was one of two things: insanely brave or insanely stupid.

“She has captured my nephew, as well,” Iroh said.

“Then we’ll work together to fight Azula, and save Katara and Zuko,” the avatar said, and you felt a little lightness crawl into your heart. You’d be able to help save Zuko, and a friend of the avatar? You were about to go on a crazy adventure.

“Whoa there,” said the water tribe boy, walking back into the conversation, “you lost me at ‘Zuko.’ “

“I know how you must feel about my nephew,” Iroh began, and your expression softened. There was definitely history here, and you’d be interested to learn it. “But believe me when I tell you, there is good inside him.” You brought your eyes to the avatar’s, and nodded, trying to fathom something to say that they’d believe. They didn’t know you, didn’t know what you stood for, and it seemed that you didn’t know much of that yourself.

“I’ve known Zuko for a while,” you said, “and he’s never been anything other than a scared and polite refugee.”

“Good inside him isn’t enough!” The water tribe boy insisted, “Why don’t you come back when it’s outside him too, okay?” Your chest deflated further, and you had to wonder: what had Zuko done, what had Zuko been, that they had this strong of a hatred for him?

Did you want to know?

“Katara’s in trouble,” Aang said to his friend, “All of Ba Sing Se’s in trouble. Working together is our best chance.”

On the way toward the catacombs of the city underneath the palace, you learned Sokka and Toph’s names, as well as the true treachery of the Dai Lee. You learned about the war with the Fire Nation, and had a smile on your face as you took in how lucky you were that the two firebenders whom you had come to love were the only two on the right side of this war.

“Well, whaddaya know, there is an ancient city down there,” Toph said, her hand pressed to the stone courtyard, “but it’s deep.” She opened up a large hole in the stone, heading downward.

“How can you tell?” You asked, and she cracked her knuckles in your direction.

“Right, you’re classically trained,” she mocked with a rude laugh, which made you smile. “I can sense seismic activity through stone. Maybe I’ll teach you, when this is over.” You nodded, intrigued, before Sokka grabbed your attention.

“We should split up. Aang, you go with Iroh and Y/N to look for Katara and the angry jerk,” he said. “No offense,” he added in Iroh’s direction, and once again you found yourself confused on the nature of their shared past when Iroh said “none taken.”

“And I’ll go with Toph to warn the Earth King about Azula’s Coup.”

Aang, Iroh, and you began heading down into the tunnel, Iroh holding up fire for light while you and Aang took turns lengthening the tunnel downwards.

“So, Toph thinks you give pretty good advice,” Aang said, seeming to try to make conversation. “And great tea.” A smile came to your face- Iroh’s tea was the reason that you were, apparently, romantically involved with the prince of the Fire Nation.

Imagine that.

“The key to both is proper aging,” Iroh said, and you laughed under your breath. “What’s on your mind?” Aang paused, and took his turn lengthening the tunnel.

“Well, I met with this guru who was supposed to help me master the avatar state and control this great power.” You turned to look at the avatar as you walked, amazed at both his story and his mere stature. You never thought that you’d get to meet the avatar.

“But to do it, I had to let go of someone I love, and I just couldn’t.” You reached the end of the tunnel, and took stance beside Iroh to take your turn lengthening it. However, Iroh began speaking, and you figured it rude to interrupt him.

“Perfection and power are overrated. I think you are very wise to choose happiness, and love.” With a smile on your face you earthbent and opened up the tunnel further, deciding then and there that you would stick with Iroh. Surely you weren’t to stay and train with the Dai Li, and as it seemed he was teaming up with the avatar, maybe you’d get to help fight in the war!

“But what happens if we can’t save everyone and beat Azula?” You didn’t answer, and let Iroh, both because you didn’t know the answer, and because you felt that the scope of your knowledge and importance wasn’t what it needed to be to even participate in this conversation.

“Without the avatar state, what if I’m not powerful enough?”

“I don’t know the answer,” Iroh said, making you gaze to the side at him. “Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving...” Iroh paused as Aang took his turn to break through the stone in front of you, revealing light and a wide open new space, “...you will come to a better place.” You paused, standing on the edge of a cliff, to look out over the ancient city. There was a fountain in front of you, making the air smell fresh even though you were so far below ground. It was amazing, and part of you wished you could have stayed. However, you knew that there was much more pressing matters, and so you quickly moved along with Iroh and Aang into another chamber to hopefully find the prisoners you were looking for.

Aang burst through another wall of stone, and quickly disappeared through the hole as you and Iroh followed.

“Aang!” A girl shouted before embracing him, and you barely put it together that this must be ‘Katara’ before your feet had carried you to Zuko, and hugged him tightly. You yielded this, however, to Iroh, who hugged him with just as much relief as you felt in your heart.

“Uncle, I don’t understand,” Zuko said, a malice you didn’t recognize glinting in his eyes. “What are you doing with the avatar?”

“Saving you, that’s what,” Aang said, and Zuko began to lunge before Iroh caught his chest. You flinched- this wasn’t the boy you knew at all.

“Zuko, it’s time we talked,” Iroh told him, then looking at Aang and Katara. “Go help your other friends. We’ll catch up with you.” Aang and Katara turned away while you stood still, but Iroh turned to you. “You as well. It’ll be alright.” You nodded, and raced down the tunnel after Katara.

“We’ve gotta find Sokka and Toph!” Katara shouted, but you couldn’t answer her before you heard roaring behind you. You didn’t recognize the sound, but when you turned and saw blue fire, nothing could’ve prepared you.

This wasn’t in your training. It wasn’t in your index of attacks to react to. You had no idea what to do- if it wasn’t for Aang and the wall that he raised, you would’ve surely been charred on the spot.

You didn’t recognize the girl that had shot it, but you felt that it was safe to assume it must’ve been Azula.

Katara raced around the wall and picked up water, revealing herself as a powerful water bender before your eyes. The fight between her and Azula created a cloud of steam, and you staggered back even further from Aang’s wall, your chest rising and falling quickly.

You were panicking.

All of that training, everything that your instructors had ever done to harden your will and sharpen your reaction time, it stood nothing against this. This, with the sister of the guy you were crushing on shooting blue fire at the avatar, and you weren’t even sure who’s side you should be on.

That was stupid, of course you knew you should be on the avatar’s side. But something in your head whispered doubts- she was Zuko’s sister. She was the leader of the Dai Li, who you belonged to.

Azula appeared from the steam and shot two fireballs at Aang and Katara, who were forty or so feet in front of you. You just watched, dumbfounded, and realized quickly that she wasn’t aiming at you. She wasn’t targeting you at all.

She landed on a column, which Aang rocked beneath her, and she fell down to stand between Aang and Katara, her back to you. She kept her hands pointed at both of them, but suddenly, her attention turned toward you.

“You’re Y/N, right?” She asked, and your eyes widened. “I remember you. You’re a very impressive cadet, you could be an asset to me. I control the Dai Li, now, and so your allegiance is to me.”

Just for a moment, Katara’s gaze turned to you, wondering if there was any truth to that statement.

Was there?

A fireball impacted the ground between Aang and Azula and you staggered backward, looking up for the source of the flame.

Zuko. Relief filled your chest- at least you knew for sure you were on his side.

As though time was frozen, you watched as he turned his ready stance from aiming at Aang, to aiming at Azula, and your tension melted away. You could fight beside Zuko and the avatar and Katara, and surely between the four of you the princess would be defeated.

Then, from your position fifty feet behind Aang, you saw Zuko’s eyes land on the avatar.

The calmness drifted away, and all you saw was rage.

Fire blasted toward Aang, and he couldn’t avoid the plume, his air bending keeping him from harm but also sending him back beside you. Zuko’s fire kept coming, and you threw up a wall in front of you, turning to the side with your body made into a smaller target out of pure fear.

Zuko had turned on Aang. He’d shot fire at Aang- he’d shot fire at you.

Aang leapt away to continue his battle, which left you behind your wall of stone, paralyzed with fear and indecision and betrayal and anger and sadness.

Didn’t you know Zuko at all? That look in his eye... you had never seen that before. There was pure rage inside him, and you couldn’t understand it, you couldn’t comprehend how this was the boy you’d cared for.

You heard fire roaring throughout the cave, and the whooshing of the wind that Aang sent back. Rocks clattered to the floor and water shot around the cavern, and it was all too much, the sounds of martial arts and groaning and impacts, you couldn’t get a clear thought through your mind.

“I thought you had changed!” Katara’s yell echoed off the rocks, and just for a moment your hands lifted from your temple. Was she talking to Zuko?

“I have changed,” he answered, and it was in the silence that followed that you made up your mind, finally.

Zuko was on the wrong side of this war. Not as you’d thought.

You heard a yelp from Katara and brought up a hunk of earth underneath you, launching you across the cave and into a defensive position in front of her with a battle cry. Both Azula and Zuko seemed surprised by this decision, but before any of you could react, the rumbling of Aang’s reemergence interrupted the fight. They turned their attention to him, which gave you the moment to send a hunk of stone into both of their abdomens, knocking them backward. However, your eyes turned up with the sound of Dai Li stone chains, and you couldn’t pull your limbs in tight enough to avoid their sudden grip on you.

“No,” you snarled as Katara woke, and brought a ring of water around the both of you. You stood back to back with her, small finger movements slowly dissembling the stone chains around your wrists so you could help her in the fight.

But there were too many agents- you knew you couldn’t take them all on. Not even with a master waterbender at your back.

A gust of wind surprised you, and you broke free in time to see Aang rise from shattered crystal inside a beam of light. It was amazing- and you were stunned into awe.

Lightning struck the avatar.

Katara nearly drowned you in the wave she created, but you pulled up a slab of stone just in time to surf on it behind her, just like you had on summer days in Lake Laogai. Mowing down Dai Li agents, and the royal siblings, the two of you raced toward the falling avatar, before he was caught by Katara. Soaked, exhausted, and tears blurring your vision, you stood between her and the siblings, who walked toward her, as though they were predators, and she an easy meal.

Though you knew you should be watching them both, your eyes were on Zuko. Maybe, there was some of Lee left in him, and seeing you would bring it back. But his eyes were firmly on the dead-or-dying avatar, hungry, predatory, and your heart shattered.

Fire cut off their path and you looked up to see Iroh, who leapt down in front of even you.

“You’ve got to get out of here!” He shouted, looking back at you. “I’ll hold them off for as long as I can!” Katara stood and you joined her on Aang’s other side, carrying the avatar toward a waterfall, the sound of fire roaring behind you.

It was terrifying.

“Hold onto him!” Katara shouted, her grip tight on the avatar as she used her other hand to bend an upward spiral around the three of you.

You watched Iroh face Zuko until the rock covered your vision, and you closed your eyes.

Back on Appa, you kneeled behind Sokka, one eye keeping a watch on Katara as she attempted to heal Aang. But mostly, you gripped Appa’s fur, and cried.

The Dai Li had lied to you. Zuko and Iroh had lied to you. The Dia Li turned on you. Zuko turned on you. Zuko turned on Iroh, Azula killed the avatar. Everything was so messed up, beyond proportion, skewed beyond belief. The boy you thought you might’ve loved...

He’d never existed in the first place.

And though the avatar lived, you laid your forehead to the bison’s back, and sobbed.

tag list for this series- @furblrwurblr @eridanuswave

oh yeah request for pt 6 /// already been requested y’all are fine

edit: | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 |

-🦌 Roe

[zukoscomet]

First of all, I wanted to say that your work "stupid electric heart" is just amazing, I love everything about it! And now I am haunted by the scene where Katara and Zuko tell their friends and relatives about the fact that they have a relationship. Something like:

Katara: Zuko and I love each other.

Sokka: Is the water wet and?

Toph: *silently passes the money to Iroh*

Toph: Sugar Queen, why now, another six months and this money would be mine!

Suki: This is a very nice ad, but you are literally the last who will know about it.

Iroh: I'm so glad that I don't have to pretend anymore that I don't notice your sad looks that you throw at each other!

Aang: We literally came up with a name for your couple. Zuko: Have you come up with a word for our couple?!

Toph: Well, it's shorter than calling you "two idiots who are too afraid to tell about their feelings, so they prefer to yearn in silence"

Anon, this is a great concept for a fic, thank you for sending it my way!

I love this idea of prior expectation for some of the characters you mentioned. Like Iroh recognises the importance of the bond between Katara and Zuko in canon, so it makes perfect sense he'd anticipate something more between the Southern Ambassador and the Fire Lord (and would subtly-not-subtly try and encourage it when the feelings are being denied).

Toph also knows it's deeper with Katara and Zuko all along. I like Toph being the most perceptive one of the group just in a general sense - she's the most honest and direct; she 'sees' things how they are - but she can hear those hearts go thump thump thump too much for it not to be more.

Suki, in my mind, would have quite strong relationships with both Katara and Zuko after the war so she almost ends up seeing it through their eyes - like she can see the impact that Katara has on Zuko, how different it is from how he responds to others, and vice versa, so it becomes pretty clear from the beginning.

But I have to say I'm a fan of the Very Oblivious Sokka take. Like after Katara and Zuko tell him they're dating, he looks back on the past few years and it all seems so inevitable and obvious and Sokka has a kind of existential crisis like what else have I not seen??? We see in the show that Sokka is very creative, so I headcanon he daydreams a lot and is very focused on his own field of influence - not in a rude way, that's just how his brain works. So when he was actually living through all Katara and Zuko's relationship development, he just... never really noticed it, or never really thought about it too much, so it comes as a big surprise initially.

For A/ang, I actually like the idea that he doesn't respond well to finding out about Katara and Zuko being together romantically at first. What I personally dislike about A/ang is that he really lacks growth as a character, especially towards the end of the series, and since I like writing ZK so much, it makes sense to me that I'd use their relationship as kind of a device to right my issues with A/ang.

We see in the show that Katara tends to be soft and placating and A/ang is hopeful and persistent, so maybe when she and A/ang break up, he gets the impression that it's not forever. The years that Katara then spends in the South Pole without another love interest cropping up just compounds that idea in his mind. When Katara goes to the Fire Nation as Ambassador, A/ang actually thinks that it's a good thing for him - she's out and travelling again, being present for world affairs, both of which suit him in terms of them being together. A/ang thinks it's only a matter of time - that Katara will want to get back together in the very near future - so when Katara and Zuko share that they're dating, it's a massive shock.

A/ang is devastated, feels deeply betrayed by both of them and some sort of confrontation ensues that the entire Gaang is present for. Katara and maybe Zuko, too, try to handle it in a conciliatory way but Sokka has it up to here seeing Katara always having to sacrifice things. It's not discussed as much as it should be but, from the episode when A/ang accidentally burns Katara's hands, Sokka is canonically very protective of Katara and isn't afraid to act (Off topic but I think that's why Sokka isn't really mentioned in LOK; at the very least, he never would have stood for A/ang treating Bumi and Kya like he did). Maybe when Katara gets upset, he says something to A/ang along the lines of I get that this isn't what you wanted but after all my sister has done for you, why couldn't you just let her have this one moment???

After that, after realising that no one is really on his side of the argument except to be supportive/consolatory, A/ang maybe leaves and spends a while cut off from everyone at one of the Air Temples. I'm not exactly sure of how he'd come across his moment of acceptance and moving on from it, but eventually he comes back and apologises, says that he's happy that two of his best friends have found love with each other. It's a bit of a sore spot for a while after still but in a very different way - for instance when Katara and Zuko have their first baby, A/ang is a bit envious but because he wants to be loved and settled, because he wants to not be the only airbender anymore; it's never over Katara specifically, and A/ang ends up just as supportive as the rest in the end.

[mintchochipkookie]

for the character ask i would like all of the emojis for both long feng and aang pls thanks v much <3

I could give you a non-answer to this like you did to me, but I’m not rude like that, you see. So here’s my Very Serious answer to this Very Serious question.

Send me a character ask (except you twink)

A*ng:

⚧- he/him (/lil bitch) 🏳️‍⚧️- cis 🏳️‍🌈- het 🌌- so apparently cancers are super whiny so (sorry to some of my moots who are cancers dergthytgrf y’all are fine) 🧠- estj sounds like...80% him and the kind of person i would hate so ❤️- no 🧡- no 💛- the gaang 💚- katwa*ng 💙- literally why???? 💜- i don’t even…...bruh idk i try not to think about this kid if i can help it 📖- an au where he gets character development and isn’t a shithead <3 ❤️‍🩹- fuck if i know 💖- no 😋- toph earthbends rocks at him for never apologising for the desert 🥖- idk he’s vegetarian right? In general i imagine the air nomads to have overlap with indian food and that includes cuisine 🛌- ummm...he likes to sleep? 🏡- he’s a flighty dude, doesn’t do shit around the house 🗡- hahaha no ❓- i will be twaccosting you much harder henceforth

Long Feng:

⚧- he/him (also lil bitch boy) 🏳️‍⚧️- cis 🏳️‍🌈- het 🌌- idk aries or scorpio ig 🧠- entj ig ❤️- long feng and a fatal stab 🧡- so i went onto ao3 and searched his name and found long feng/mai and long feng/ursa fics so there you go 💛- bruh idk does he even have friends 💚- long feng/anyone 💙- sigh 💜- double sigh 📖- i’d like to see him in nothing ever ❤️‍🩹- where he’s alive 😔 💖- where he doesn’t exist 🥰 😋- pls i...i don’t know, maybe appa kicks him in the face or something idk 🥖- he can starve for all i care 🛌- fake news, he’s actually a robot so he doesn’t sleep 🏡- ????? 🗡- ????????????????????????? ❓- i want to twaccost you again (:

[imagines-dreams]

Hiya could you do a dating zuko and being really shy headcanon please X?

Ok, I wrote so mannnnyyy headcanons, starting from Book 2 to frickin marriage, so feel free to read part of it of a lot, wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading cuz holy shit this was long and i just didn’t edit it well, so... Hopefully, some people enjoy it though! So, happy reading!

Ok, look, any relationship with Zuko will need a lot of build up. He’s only been in one relationship, and that was with a girl he’s known since he was a kid. Other than her, the only person he truly trusted was his uncle.

And who could blame him? His father abused him, so becoming his friend, let alone someone he’d love, would be a long process.

So, any relationship will be a major slowburn. With someone very shy? It would be that slowburn that everyone would dream of in fiction.

First meet in Ba Sing Se when he was still going by Lee. He was very closed off, but his uncle wasn’t. Uncle would be thinking something along the lines of “A nice, quiet girl?! Who just wants to lay low and would probably make a great niece-in-law?! Perfect for my nephew who keeps getting into trouble!”

Still, neither you nor “Lee” could really deny him. 

Uncle “Mushi” had learned from trying to set Lee up with Jin. No real date. Just friends first. 

There were a lot of dinners with Lee and his uncle among other friends the two had made in Ba Sing Se. Uncle Mushi usually told funny stories, and he commanded the room. Lee was just quiet. He smiled sometimes, you could count how many times you saw him smile during dinner on your hands.

Still, you two talked sometimes, mostly laughing and sharing confused looks at his uncle’s outrageous stories. 

You also would be able to see him every so often when you were shopping or just going about your day. 

You also knew they were firebenders. Or at least Fire Nation. Fire Nation refugees weren’t too common, but they weren’t rare either. After seeing Zuko write firelily once, it confirmed your suspicions. 

You didn’t say anything though. If they wanted to tell you, they’d tell you.

One night, you saw a crowd of people. They were gathered around Lee, and Lee had a sword?! “Lee!”

The boy fighting your friend glanced at you and scoffed. “Is that even your name? Or do you lie to your girlfriend, too?”

Too distracted by your fear for Lee to even process what the other boy said, you bended the earth around his opponent. One wall to block him from Lee. Another three to keep him boxed in. 

Your legs ached. Bending took way too much energy, especially since you hadn’t used it in years. You heaved and fell to your knees. 

Someone said your name.

Lee bent down and held out his hand.

You gladly took it and let him help you up. “Sorry,” you managed to say as you fell into him. You were so weak.

Lee pulled your arm over his shoulder so he could properly support you. He was talking to someone, and from your peripheral vision, you could see the uniform of the Dai Lee. 

Scared, you leaned more into Lee. 

One of the Dai Lee came to you. “Why were you earthbending?” he asked.

“Uncle.” Lee shoved you behind him and right into his uncle’s arms. “She was defending me.”

“She shouldn’t have been earthbending regardless, especially in such a violent matter.”

“Violent?” Lee’s grip on the sword tightened. “The only one who was violent was him.” He pointed at the other boy. “Accusing my uncle and me for being firebenders.”

You reached out, regaining your energy as each second passed, and placed it on his shoulder. “Lee.”

He looked back at you and sighed. Thankfully, he let go of his sword.

“We are refugees,” Lee’s uncle explained. 

A few other people from the crowd rallied for them. They knew Lee and his uncle in for the delicious tea they served. 

All while the boy Lee was fighting was screaming at everyone, how stupid they all were when Lee and his uncle were obviously firebenders. He was taken away with the Dai Lee.

You admitted that you knew they were firebenders that night. And it didn’t go badly! Their jaws dropped, and it was comical to see Lee’s face contort into more expressions you had never seen before. 

After that, the friendship only grew stronger. You picked up a few other things about Lee as well. A father he wanted to impress. An absent mother. A weird knowledge about ships and the war. There were more glances and subtle touches, him adjusting your collar, handing him tea so your fingers brushed ever so slightly, bumping elbows at the table. You even got into the schoolgirl habit of writing Lee’s name and yours and staring at him from across the room.

Then… they disappeared. 

It wasn’t uncommon for refugees to disappear, but usually they’d tell someone where they were going, if they were in trouble. 

You expected them to reappear, but nothing happened. Of course you were sad they were gone, but that’s how life went in Ba Sing Se, and you didn’t know enough about them to go searching, nor the time. 

Especially since shortly after Lee and his uncle disappeared, Ba Sing Se was conquered. Everything changed. Benders were being rounded up. More people were disappearing. The walls were all coming down. Money was scarce. Soldiers patrolled the entire area. 

During this time, you wanted to lay low, but people were getting hurt. You could only stand by for so long. 

You started to train, every night, hoping your earthbending would get better. 

So, when Ba Sing Se went up in flames, you joined in to fight for the city you felt safe in. You found Uncle Mushi there, fighting with some organization called the White Lotus. You also found out that his name was Iroh, not Mushi.

After fighting off Fire Nation supremacists, you were invited to the Jade Dragon. 

“Hey. Zuko, or, um, I guess Lee, here.” 

You had laughed and hugged him tight. “I was so scared for you,” you admitted. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

It wasn’t until one of his friends cleared their throat that you realized this hug was the first hug you’ve given him. On top of that, you were holding onto each other for quite some time. 

So, the two of you split up. 

However, throughout the get together, you stayed close with L- Zuko. You didn’t really talk much to his friends. Just the introductions and listening to their stories. They seemed really happy to tell you about how they defeated the Fire Nation and ended the war. 

Who wouldn’t be?

“You’re the Fire Lord?” you asked Zuko, away from the others.

“Oh, yeah, I am now.”

You gazed up at him. “That’s incredible.” You laughed. “Should I have bowed? I feel like I should’ve done something.”

“No. No, it’s fine.”

“Oh, then, I can still call you Zuko?”

He laughed a little. “Just not Lee.”

Just like that, you had new friends. As the year went on, you developed relationships with everyone. Sokka loved to creatively use your earthbending. (He said Toph would never let them make toys with earthbending.) Aang loved making you laugh, so he loved to tell you jokes and play games with you. Toph loved, well, trying to train you. She wasn’t the best teacher for you, too demanding and very rude, but you did learn the basics of metalbending after a few months. 

Katara was the kindest out of all of them, and you both loved telling each other stories about your lives before the end of the war. Suki insisted on training you. Even though there was no more war to fight, you had to admit, she was the perfect teacher for you. Kind but stern. 

You started to travel with everyone, giving every long-winded plan and daring choice a logical backing. Making sure the risks they were taking weren’t too great.

You visited the Zuko the most. It even got to the point that Zuko had a room made for you, with your own closet and Earth Kingdom decor. 

There were still the longing gazes and fleeting touches. You always took the opportunity to help him with his formal attire. After all, you didn’t want him to stress himself too much with that scar on his chest. 

But nothing ever happened. Even though Zuko trusted you and you trusted him, neither of you were brave enough to make the first move. 

The gaang was very fed up with it, honestly. Sokka and Toph came up with the most obvious ways to literally shove you two towards each other. Once at a diplomatic gathering in the Northern Water Tribe, Sokka pulled you towards the middle of the dance floor while Toph shoved Zuko in your direction until the two of you bumped into each other. 

Aang was in on it, too. He requested music.

Zuko and you danced, blushing and awkwardly trying to sway without being awkward. 

“I hate my friends,” he mumbled.

You laughed, the awkwardness immediately gone. “They are kinda horrible, aren’t they?” 

Still no confession, but you still had a great time dancing with your best friend.

(The gaang wanted to pull their hair out. Seriously, you two were so obvious!)

As the years passed, Zuko and you acted more and more like a couple. Where there were brushes of skin against skin slowly became holding each other’s hand during boring meetings. Where there were short-lived gazes unseen by the other became smiles and knowing looks after an easy fight. Where there were hugs before leaving became long embraces followed by kisses on the cheek. 

There were some more intense moments, like when Ozai’s supporters attacked the palace and you ran out of safety and to Zuko. While you weren’t as great as a fighter, you could still do a solid defense, and when it came to Zuko, you defended him with your life. 

“What are you doing here?!”

You grunted as you put up a wall between the two of you and the Ozai sympathizers. “Stopping you from burning the palace down apparently!”

Even after all those years, he had a tendency to be reckless.

Or the time some Water Tribe assassins tried attacking you and him and he shoved you behind him to defend you.  “Stay back!”

“Let me help!”

Everyone just assumed you were a couple, and really, nobody could blame them. 

The confession came quietly. 

You and Zuko had just finished a shift at the Jasmine Dragon. It was a day of serving the people of the Ba Sing Se, of smiles and laughter, and of shared inside jokes between you, Zuko, and Uncle Iroh.

And when it came time to go to sleep, Uncle Iroh was distraught. “I can’t believe this happened!” He dug through the cabinets, throwing various things around the small apartment. “I knew you were coming, my dear, and I forgot to get a new bed for you!”

You laughed. “Uncle, it’s ok. You’ve been busy.”

Zuko just crossed his arms. “We’ve been preparing for her visit for weeks.”

“Which is why I can’t believe I forgot to make a bed!” Uncle iroh lamented. He stroked his beard. “Hm, I would share my bed, but I tend to snore and move quite a bit. Zuko! Why don’t you share your bed?”

While your cheeks burned in embarrassment, Zuko only glared at his uncle. “Fine.”

To be fair, Zuko and you have slept in the same bed before. Sometimes work went on for too long and you two happened to fall asleep in the same bed. But all those times before were by accident on a bed meant for two. Not on a bed meant for one and not on purpose.

After the awkward tiptoeing around and offerings to sleep on the floor, finally, the two of you agreed to sleep on the bed. Zuko held you close, your back to his chest. Both of you purposely chose that position so that no one could see the other blush. 

As the years, actually minutes, passed by, the both of you relaxed into it, and it was almost natural. 

“You know,” you said softly, “that I love you, right?”

Zuko was quiet, and you hoped to the spirits he was sleeping. After a while with no answer, you took a deep breath and tried to go to sleep. 

That is, until Zuko admitted,  “I’m not good at these things.”

“Neither am I.”

The arm around your waist tightened, and you couldn’t help but snuggle closer into his embrace. 

“I love you, too,” he said. 

That was enough for the two of you, at least for one night. You two loved each other and that was enough.

The next morning was busy. The schedule was just to serve at the Jasmine Dragon and you had an appointment with some historians who wanted to know more about Zuko’s first time in Ba Sing Se. Zuko and Iroh, however, had a meeting at the palace.

Zuko was rushing around, trying to find all the pieces of his popper attire before leaving, while Uncle Iroh was trying to get him to eat breakfast. You were just smiling at all of it, pouring some cups of tea.

Zuko glanced at the window. “Uncle, we’re going to be late! Do you even have your clothes?”

“Of course, I have. But did you have food yet? At least some tea.”

“Yes, tea!” You lifted up a fresh cup of jasmine. “Zuko, you should have something before you leave.”

“I don’t need-” 

His eyes meant yours, and you only handed him the cup of jasmine tea. “You’re welcome. Also, you have some dim sum in your bag.”

He shook his head, downed the entire hot cup, and called again, “Uncle!” He smiled at you. “Thanks, bye.” He kissed you and was out the door. 

It took a few seconds, and he had left you speechless. And judging by the way he didn’t say anything before he ran out the door with Uncle Iroh behind him, he didn’t notice.

It took you a while to realize what exactly happened. 

Zuko downed some tea you gave him.

He turned around, called his uncle, then just kissed you.

He just leaned over, pressed his lips against yours for a second, maybe less. 

Then, he left.

You loved him, and he loved you. The two of you admitted that you loved each other, but the topic was too heavy and scary to clarify it further. Was that kiss a sign? Were you two together? Was that kiss some sort of rite of passage?

The rest of your day went by in a fog. 

You served tea. You smiled and had polite conversations. You listened to historians and corrected a fact here or there. 

And when Zuko finally came home, you were preparing the food you had bought, and you were frozen for a second.

“Uncle’s gone out for dinner.” He let his hair down and ran his fingers through it. 

(He had been growing it out. You had learned that hair was really important in Fire Nation culture, and apparently, before he and Uncle left for Ba Sing Se, they cut their hair, some sort of symbol that they weren’t working for the Fire Nation anymore)

You just hummed and started to prepare a serving for Uncle’s late night snack. But then! Zuko was behind you and looking at the food you had gotten.

And you were silently screaming on the inside! Because if you just turned around, and if he just leaned down, you two would be kissing. And he already kissed you! But he didn’t seem to remember that! He was just! Casually talking to you!

“What did you get?” he asked. Such an innocent question from a man who wasn’t innocent because he had kissed you

You barely managed to stutter, “O-oh, some, uh, pho.” You smiled and handed him his share. “Here!” Immediately, you turned back around to avoid him

And Zuko, baffled, just stood there, unsure as to why you were acting so strangely. You weren’t mad. Whenever you had some sort of problem with him, you would retreat into yourself, unintentionally give him the silent treatment, almost as if he was a stranger to you.

But this, the awkward glances and the too-quick movements, that was new territory. 

At first, Zuko thought it was about what had happened the night before, but just as he was about to ask again, he remembered what had happened in the morning.

The kiss

He groaned. “I’m sorry. I told you I was bad at this!” He didn’t throw the bowl of pho on the floor, but the bowl did make a loud sound and soup did spill when he let it fall onto the table. 

You turned to see him covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” When he uncovered his face, he didn’t meet your eyes. 

Zuko looked so sad.

And you couldn’t have that. You loved him too much to let him be sad. 

Before you could even comprehend what you were doing, you were cradling his cheeks and looking up into his amber eyes. Under his intense gaze, you were a little nervous, but the want to comfort him was stronger. “I’m bad at this, too.”

And then, you were kissing him

And it was everything. Kissing the man you loved, it was the best feeling, because you were trying to take care of him, he was trying to take care of you. Holding you close and rubbing circles into the small of your back, all to comfort you.

And when he pulled away, Zuko told you, “You’re not bad at that.”

You laughed and nuzzled your nose against his. “Neither are you.”

Safe to say that when Iroh came home to find you and his nephew snuggled up together in the bed he forced the two of you to share, he smiled and wrote letters to the rest of the gang immediately.

There were pros and cons to Uncle finding out before you told him. Pro, you didn’t have to tell him. Con, you two woke up to Uncle Iroh cooking a large meal fit for an army and a hug for you while he shouted, “Good morning, my new niece-in-law!”

You were embarrassed, to say the least, but you felt better when Zuko tugged you closer to him and told his uncle, “You can’t possibly believe that we could eat all of this.”

“No, you can’t.” Iroh beamed. “But I can! I’m celebrating! A niece! I have a niece!” 

In two weeks, Uncle, Zuko, and you were back in the Fire Nation. 

There was a party when you arrived. Not for the Fire Lord’s return. No, it was your friends celebrating that you and Zuko were finally together.

“Double date!” Sokka was hanging off of you and pointed at his girlfriend, “We need couple friends.”

“Hey!” Aang said, “Don’t Katara and I count?”

“No, my sister and her boyfriend can’t be mine and Suki’s couple friends.” He grimaced. “I already see you guys kiss enough.”

Katara rolled her eyes and kissed her boyfriend’s cheek.

“Eugh!” Sokka hid behind you. “Save me! I’m being tortured.”

Zuko shook his head and asked Suki, “We’re leaving him home on our double dates, right?”

“Oh yeah.” She laughed and dragged her boyfriend from behind you. “Come on.”

Zuko and you were apprehensive to be seen in public, but you two have known each other for years, loved each other for almost as much time. 

“My mother was forced into marriage,” Zuko said one night, almost a year after the two of you had kissed. “My father was told by a sage that he must marry my mother to ensure the family bloodline. They were right, but in the wrong way, i guess.”

You looked up from your scroll and asked out of curiosity, “Are all Fire Nation marriages arranged?”

“No, mostly for those of an upper class. I was arranged to have a marriage with Mai.”

“How is Mai?”

“Good. I received a letter from her and Ty Lee a few days ago.”

You smiled. “Do you think they’ll get engaged soon?”

“Definitely before we do.”

Before the two of you? Even though marriage was stressful and a huge step forward, you couldn’t help the little bubble of happiness that formed in your gut and transformed into a dreamy sigh of “We?”

Just like that, the Fire Lord went red in the cheeks. “I mean, because they’ve been together longer, so I would assume if we were to get married, well-” He cut himself off by groaning, which only got you to giggle. He stared at the ceiling. “Almost a year, and I’m still bad at this.”

You smiled and took his hand in yours. “You’re not bad at this.” 

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You shrugged, and your voice softened when you said, “I can see us getting married, too.”

He smiled at you. “How do they do it in the Earth Kingdom?”

You hummed. “In Ba Sing Se, if two people were getting married, they just decided they would and move in together.” You bit your lip as you tried to think back on the times before Ba Sing Se. “I’ve heard of a tradition where people hold a party to announce their love and the ceremony ends when the couple leave for their house.”

“I see.” Zuko played with your fingers as he explained, “Here, one partner gives the other a ring, to symbolize- Wait.” He tilted his head. “In Ba Sing Se, would we be considered engaged already?”

You laughed, as heat settled in your cheeks. You and Zuko were a well-known couple in the Earth Kingdom, and since you did move into the palace, to some, you would be. “I guess we would!”

He nodded. “You ok with that?”

There was more to that question that meets the eye. The Fire Nation loved you, sure, but some parts didn’t. There was a group trying to rebel against the peace and prosperity Zuko and all of your friends have fought so hard to gain, a group that wanted Ozai or Azula back on the throne. They have made a few attempts on Zuko, none near successful. But, if you were to get engaged, they’d come after you, too. 

Being engaged to Zuko put a bigger target on your back.

“I’m ok with that.”

But, how could you be afraid of them when you had Zuko by your side?

“Good.”

You nodded. “Good.”

Zuko and you had two weddings. One in private on Ember Island with the gaang and a few close friends. It ended with you exchanging an Earth Kingdom bracelet for a Fire Nation crown. 

There was an afterparty, with dancing and a large feast. There were also speeches.

“You know, if anyone was going to marry the Firlord, I thought it was gonna be me-”

“Sokka!” Suki laughed.

“-or maybe my sister-”

Katara only rolled her eyes with a smile.

“-but if it couldn’t be either of us, I’m glad it’s you!”

“I couldn’t think of a better couple than you two,” Suki started. 

“Hey!” Sokka did not like that statement.

“Honestly, you two are already attractive by yourselves, but together?” Suki was smiling so innocently the entire time. “Hey, (Y/n), you sure you don’t wanna reconsider. I can show around Kyoshi Island sometime.”

“Ok that’s enough!” Sokka couldn’t drag his girlfriend out of the spotlight or stop her from saying how great Zuko and you were, but he did glare at both of you throughout the speech. “I’m watching you.”

“I’m sure you are, Sokka,” you told him. 

Your husband laughed. “I mean, if anyone was to take her away, I wouldn’t mind it being Suki.”

“Don’t test me, Sparky!”

It was funny how even though all of you were well into your 20’s, Sokka’s voice could still crack. 

Toph wasn’t one for speeches. She showed her love by keeping Sokka away from you two and pushing Suki towards you. She really loved the laugh. 

(You apologized to Sokka later with the gift of leftovers.)

Mai actually had a memorable speech. 

“Ty Lee wouldn’t let me put my name on her gift, which sucks.” She glared at her wife, who only smiled. “So, this is my gift for you. Not you, Zuko, but for your wife.” She smirked. “When Zuko was five he thought he could eat all the spicy food in the kitchen-”

“Mai!”

“-it didn’t end well.”

Toph also occupied Zuko while Mai rambled on about Zuko in his childhood. It was very fun.

Uncle Iroh also spoke. “I didn’t know this was supposed to be about embarrassing my nephew.”

“It wasn’t!”

“And that’s ok, because I have something on our dear bride.”

You paled. “Oh no.”

“If you aren’t aware, I knew (Y/n) during our time as fugitives, and she loved to stare at my nephew during his shifts.”

Your husband looked at you. “Did you?”

“Not that much!”

Uncle continued, “I also caught her doodling Lee’s name-”

“Uncle-”

“Please, Uncle, continue!”

Aang shave advice to the two of you. “Please talk to each other,” he said with a laugh. He recounted the times Katara and he didn’t communicate early in their relationship resulting in an unhealthy on and off relationship for a year before the two of them sat down and just talked. 

Katara gushed over how happy she was for the two of you. “Zuko was always grumpy, and I’m glad there’s someone he can be less grumpy with!”

Azula dropped in. She had escaped rehabilitation, and Zuko had let her go. It was near the end of the ceremony, and Zuko and you had snuck out to take a breather. 

He held you close as the two of you swayed to muted music. 

“I do hate to intrude.”

You yelped and the earth beneath Azula’s feet nearly threw her into the air. While her mind was still recovering, it seemed like her agility wasn’t affected. “To be fair, I did expect that reaction.”

“Azula?” Your husband kept his hand in your as he moved closer to his sister. “I-”

“Save it. I’m here to drop something off.” She held out a pouch for him to take. 

“Azula-”

“Zuko, I am not here to talk to you.”

You gulped. “Then what about me?” You smiled. “You can come home, Azula.”

If Azula was affected by your words, she didn’t let it show. 

Zuko took the pouch and by the time the two of you looked up, she was gone. 

Inside were two rings. 

Zuko laughed. “She probably stole these.”

“She could be living an honest life, too, you know?”

“Possibly. We don’t have to use these.”

You took the rings in your hands. They were beautifully crafted, and while gold was the main color, hints of red and green were there too. “If I can’t have Azula as a bridesmaid, then we might use her gifts.”

The public ceremony took place a few months later, and it was grand and very, very public. You were not comfortable. 

You could only change so much of it, though. 

Zuko and you would pull each other to the sidelines when it all got too much. Your friends gladly made excuses when you were absent. 

By the end, you were stuffed full with food and exhausted. 

“Please tell me marriage won’t be like this all the time.”

You laughed and sluggish cuddled up into his arms. “I can’t tell you. Never been married before.”

“The first few months were nice.”

“When no one knew.”

He laughed. “No big ceremonies or dumb speeches.”

“Or embassadors or loud music.” You sighed. “Kinda terrified, to be honest.”

You could feel Zuko stiffen under you, and immediately, you added, “I’m glad you and I get to go through it together, though.”

He nodded. “I do hate life less.”

As Fire Lady, you were kind and gentle, and while you did need breathers in meetings and galas and public events, you enjoyed helping people with policy changes and additions. 

Zuko encouraged you to take risks, and when you were too tired to voice your opinions, Zuko voiced them for you. 

You also were the only one who could calm down Zuko. While his temper wasn’t too much of a problem, sometimes he was so stressed that even the training room couldn’t hold in his anger. 

You’d lead him to your bedroom and just hold him, and if he wanted to talk, you listened. 

The two of you were the definition of quiet strength, and even though assassins and Ozai sympathizers tried to take you two down, you and your family never faltered, especially you and Zuko

[elizabethemerald]

Water Heals; Chap 4

AO3

Today was another of Katara’s visits. Azula felt like she was getting better at telling the days apart, and keeping track of the weeks as they passed. Katara had said that she would bring a guest this week. It would be the first time she had seen someone other than Katara, her brother, or the staff since she was admitted to the hospital. Azula had promised to be on her very best behaviour. 

She smiled her own private smile when the door to her room opened to show Katara, though she kept her face otherwise schooled. As a princess of the Fire Nation she wouldn’t let herself show all of her real emotions to outsiders like Katara’s guest. 

Behind Katara entered her brother, Sokka. Katara has talked quite a lot about her brother and what he had gotten up to recently. It would be interesting to meet him face to face, and for once, not on the other side of a conflict. 

It certainly seemed like peace was suiting him well. Sokka still had the build of a swordsman, though now he was really hitting his growth spurt, he was going to be tall, possibly even taller than Zuko. He had a slightly nervous air about him, though he was masking it well. He smiled a wide, easy smile upon seeing Azula. Her spine stiffened for a moment, fearing he was smiling because of her bonds. Before she could snap at his insolence he clapped Katara on the shoulder and took a seat. Perhaps he was just in a jovial mood?

Katara took the seat next to her brother, returning his smile. Azula felt a hint of color rise in her cheeks. Katara’s smile never failed to bring some warmth to her face, and set Salmonflies fluttering in her stomach. For some reason Sokka’s smile widened, his earlier nervousness dissipating. 

“So Azula!” He said. Azula was suspicious of his friendliness, but she supposed Katara had brought him along first for a reason. “Katara’s told me a lot about her visits with you. How have you been liking them?”

Katara had side eyed him at this question, but Azula felt their mutual companion was a safe enough conversation topic. 

“Her visits continue to be the highlight of my time here. Even at my most dower Katara’s smile brightens my day.” Azula said stiffly, as if she were giving a report to the war council. Her eyes flicked to Katara, and she couldn't help but notice a faint blush dusting Katara’s cheeks, her eyes down cast as she fiddled with her hair. She decided to quickly change the subject, not trusting Sokka not to stray too near sensitive topics. “And how about yourself? Katara has kept me informed on some of the inventions you have made.”

“Oh she has!” Sokka immediately pulled a sketch book out of his satchel. Azula leaned forward as close as she could to look at his drawings. Some of the sketches seemed almost infantile in quality, but as she was able to parse the information she could see he was trying to figure out a way to trap a fire bender’s lightning, so it could be used to power other inventions. “You see, if I can make this work we can create other things that could wildly improve life for the people of the world. I’m just trying to find some way to replicate the lake of Chi a fire bender uses to control and redirect lightning. Though its really hard to get a hold of some lightning to test my theories.”

“It should not be that hard to get.” Azula said with a smirk. “Would you like a free sample?”

Before he could respond Azula took a deep breath, pulling on her own lake of Chi and spat out a flash of lightning. Sokka jumped back with a yelp as the lightning flashed wildly around the room. Without the use of her hands to control and direct the lightning, she didn’t have any where near the control she usually did. She released the rest of her breath as a short pant of blue flame. Lightning bending was far harder than fire bending without hands. 

Katara jumped up, water flying to her hand from the pitcher in the room. Azula couldn’t help her flinch, still battling the fear that Katara was going to turn against her one day and try to kill her. Instead of forming a whip the water around her hands glowed with a strange light. Azula watched, her eyes wide in awe, as Katara used the water to heal any slight mark Sokka may have received. 

“That was rude Azula!” Katara said. Azula couldn’t help but feel a rush of guilt. She had promised Katara she would be on her best behaviour. She couldn’t stand the idea that Katara would take this as a sign to stop visiting her. 

“I’m sorry Katara.” Azula said, her eyes down cast. 

Katara was about to reply in her usual huff, but Sokka, now settled from his surprise, spoke. 

“You know Azula, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize to literally anyone. I didn’t think you knew how to.” HIs words, heavy with sarcasm were at least a game Azula knew how to play. 

“I prefer to reserve my apologies for those who mean the most to me. Not water tribe peasants like yourself.” Azula said, putting her nose up in mock disdain, though she met Katara’s gaze, attempting a small joke based on their first conversation. Katara’s smile showed that the joke had landed, and again there was a dusting of a blush across her cheeks. “Though I guess since the war’s over, I should make right with those I can. Is there anything I should apologize to you for?”

“Suki.” 

With that single name, Azula felt her hard won control slipping. The leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. She had taken great pleasure in ensuring she was imprisoned and in making sure her incarceration was as unpleasant as possible. 

“Do you know what happened to her?” Azula asked, her voice sounding lifeless and mechanical even in her own ears. All she could remember was defeating Suki and shipping her off. 

“Yeah, me and Zuko broke her out of the Boiling Rock.” Sokka said. His voice sounded like it was coming from a cave. 

The Boiling Rock. The start of her fall. She had tried to kill her brother again there. Mai and Ty Lee had turned against her there. Not only had they shown their true colors but she had shown hers as well, first by trying to kill them, then by having them arrested. From there she had known that there was no one she could trust. Eventually everyone would betray her. And she deserved it. She was a monster after all. 

Azula was fading fast, her grasp on the moment slipping as her mind spiraled into the memories of her many failures. She was only distantly aware of a rapid yet hushed conversation between Sokka and Katara. They were probably discussing how to punish her for imprisoning Suki. 

“Did Katara ever tell you about the time I drank cactus juice?” Sokka said. The surprise of the strange sentence shook Azula from her dark spiral. 

“Isn’t cactus juice…” She was trying to focus her brain on the bizarre statement. 

“Hallucinogenic?” Sokka laughed. His laugh was loud. Different than Katara’s soft laugh. “Oh yeah it is. I spent a few hours absolutely out of my mind. I remember seeing a giant mushroom that I was sure was going to be my friend.”

Azula felt a crooked, broken smile creep up her face at the idea. 

“Or there was the time Toph trapped me in a hole in the ground. It felt like I was stuck there for hours. I promised to give up sarcasm and eating meat if I was able to get out. That didn’t last very long.” He said sarcastically. 

Her broken smile crept higher on her face, feeling less broken and more natural. 

“How about the story when me and Katara got sick, I spent the entire time thinking I was an earthbender! Then guess what the cure was?” He didn’t wait for Azula to guess instead continuing on excitedly. “Sucking on frozen frogs! Aang had to go fetch them while we were resting in our sleeping bags!”

Azula could see Katara’s own smile creeping higher on her face as her brother brought back some pleasant memories from their time traveling the world during the war. Azula could feel her own smile grow, a soft huff coming from her nose at the thought of Katara with a frozen frog on her face. 

“Oh or the time we tried to convince those guards that I was an earthbender!” Katara said. 

“That was a good one! Especially because that one guard thought that Momo was the earthbender! Not the brightest guard.”

“Can’t forget the whole adventure in the secret tunnel! I thought you would have a handprint on your forehead from facepalming for a week!”

Azula let out a short bark of a laugh. She felt more herself, like her mind was back in her body where it belonged and less like she was going to start sobbing. 

“It seems traveling with the Avatar wasn’t all hard work and battles.” Azula said. Her voice still sounded a little flat, but it was coming back to her regular tone. 

“It was a lot of work. And there were some things that are going to be in my nightmares for years.” Sokka said, his tone more serious than it had been since he arrived. “But that doesn’t mean it was all bad. Aang’s a fun loving guy. He wouldn’t let us stay to serious for to long.”

“When we first met him, he immediately wanted to go penguin sledding!” Katara said, her smile now her usual full faced and spirit-blessed smile. 

The conversation continued, Sokka carrying most of it, for the next hour or so. By the end Azula was exhausted from the social interaction, but she was happy. Sokka had caused her first genuine laugh in what felt like months, though she couldn’t tell exactly how long it had been. Katara had also seemed to enjoy having her brother there. She fell into good hearted bickering so easily with him, her smile brightening up the entire room, causing even more Salmonflies to buzz wildly in her stomach and a warm feeling to fill her chest. 

When it was finally time for Sokka and Katara to leave for the day, Azula stopped him. He stood at the door, Katara behind him in the hall looking over his shoulder. It took Azula a few moments to gather her words and force them out. 

“Sokka… I’m sorry.” The words felt painful as she pushed them out past the lump in her throat. She wanted to apologize for everything. For the harm she had caused during the war, for the harm her people had caused, even for throwing lightning at him just today, but she couldn’t get all those words. He seemed to understand the enormity of what she apologizing for and gave her a solemn nod. “Please tell Suki...I’m…”

“I will.” He nodded again, that same seriousness from earlier in his voice. 

With that the two Water Tribe siblings left. Azula was exhausted. Her body drained like she had fought for the entire afternoon. However her mind felt like it was fully active. They had given her much to think about. 

She had been inclined to dismiss Sokka, as a non bender, and as an oaf, he was never the same threat that Katara was. However he had clearly earned his place among the Avatar’s closest. He was cleverer than she had ever given him credit for, and he had the ability, almost uncannily, to switch between lighthearted and serious at a moment’s notice. She would have to think more about him. About his ease in forgiving her. About his inventions and ideas. 

Thinking of Sokka was significantly harder considering something else occupied her mind. Katara’s smile. Katara had seen her slipping, had noticed her reaction to the mention of Suki and the Boiling Rock. She had encouraged her brother to joke to offset the tension and help ground her back in her body. Katara had seen her, and seen through her, and some how still visited again and again, and still smiled and laughed with her, not at her, but with her. It was a lot to think about all at once. 

[that-was-anticlimactic]

📂 hmmm let's see... how about Toph?

aw Toph Beifong, how I love you,

Okay. So. First:

Obviously, Toph can tell when people are lying, but much like how the gaang always forgets that she’s blind, they forget that she’s a living lie detector. After the war ends, the kiddos are all obviously traumatized and always ask each other how they’re doing and they usually always say “fine” and Toph can feel that they’re lying but she just... doesn’t do anything. Sometimes it’s obvious a person is lying, but sometimes they can really pull it off and Toph is the only one who knows. She just lets them be, though, because she would want to be left alone too. In her mind, if it was a big enough deal, they wouldn’t say that they’re fine (also because that’s the reasoning she gives herself to not talk about her problems). She doesn’t want to push them.

Eventually, and let’s use Aang here because poor kid suffers so much trauma and no one really talks about that much (myself included, I need to pay more attention to Aang), Aang’s mental health really starts declining and everyone is really worried but Toph always lets it go because she doesn’t want to push him or stress him out. One time, it’s so bad that they ask Toph to out Aang for lying and she just shrugs and says “he wasn’t lying” even though he definitely was.

After a week or two like this, Aang kind of just breaks down and Toph instantly feels guilty because deep down she feels like she could have prevented it, but she didn’t. It’s one of those times when she learns that letting people believe a lie, no matter how good intentions are, is worse and more hurtful than telling the truth.

It kind of starts making her more honest than before. She began by calling everyone out on every little lie until she realized it would probably be better to talk to people in private and I just... mmm... I feel like Toph wields so much power after the war because everyone will always say “I’m fine” and she knows, she knows, they’re lying.

And now for an angsty Toph-related headcanon because I said so:)

Toph’s parents. Mmmm. I have not read the comics and also I heard they were... iffy... so we’re disregarding comics here. Toph’s parents kind of suck. Like, once she talks to them after the war, they treat her like a helpless child again and not the LITERAL HERO she is. She doesn’t live with them, but she wants a relationship with them, even though she physically cannot make her say it out loud. So, eventually she blows up at them and Earthbends and her parents are like “okay, if you’re not a child, then start acting like an adult” and COMPLETELY misread the intention behind what Toph was saying. Ontop of that, they constantly complain about everything to her. Like trivial things. They complain about trivial things to a traumatized child (not to mention they did like nothing during the war smh, they just sat there and were rich). Like, they complain about each other to Toph say all of these things that she never wanted to hear ever and that no parents should actually burden their child with. Eventually she just... stops.

She just never answers letters, never returns to the city, much less the house. And it just... it kills her because she wanted to fix their relationship. She wanted to try and be a family again and she tried. She tried so hard but her parents never pit any effort in.

It was actually Zuko (or Azula...) who kind of made her realize. Like, I’m just gonna say: Sokka and Katara HATE Toph’s parents, like, with a burning passion. Toph offhandedly mentioned some of the terrible things her mom said about her dad and vice versa to the gaang and Katara was about to go give them the biggest lecture they had ever received. Katara lowkey got all mother hen (but sometimes Suki would have to drag her back and be like “you’re smothering her” so Toph wouldn’t feel like Katara was acting like her parents) (and again, Toph would never say it outloud, but she could never think of Katara in that way ever. She’s SUCH a better person than her parents could ever be) and would try and... not be the mother Toph never got to have, but give her the support she never had.

Anyways, Zuko or Azula talk to Toph and are like “take it from one abused child to another, your parents are abusing you” which just confirms the suspicions she had deep down but refused to believe. She was just filled with so much rage because it’s not fair and she was trying so hard but her parents really don’t care about her in the way that they should of and she gave them so many chances to be better but they never took it.

okay so, sadness over, let’s make Toph happy:)

Toph is asexual (and maybe aromantic, unsure as of right now) because I said so:))

Toph takes great pleasure in going to The Jasmine Dragon and just... listening to make sure no one is ever rude to Iroh or any of the other employees ever. If they are, she causes trouble so they can feel ashamed for being mean to people in food service.

no you know what? Am I going too overboard? Yes. Do I care? No. One friendship Toph headcanon for everyone in the gaang.

Aang: Toph and Aang both help remind the other that they’re children because they both forget sometimes. Toph is great at taking Aang away from work and making him take breaks and spend time for himself rather than others. Aang is great at giving Toph the “having friends as a child” experience she never had. He teaches her games he learned from all four nations as a child and sometimes they do really ‘childish’ things like playing bending tag or even like regular tag with each other just because it’s nice.

Katara: oooh the Toph and Katara friendship is one of my favorites in the show. The two are both ridiculously competitive. Like. Out of everyone in the gaang, they are the most competitive (let’s be real, Sokka is too petty and WE NEED TO FOLLOW THE GAMES RULES to be competitive and Zuko just gets angry and rage quits). But eventually, they learn that they’re stronger when they work together and make a competitive truce. So whenever people need to team up for games, they immediately go to each other and they destroy everyone.

Sokka: Sokka and Toph ahhhhh I love them so much. Sokka adopted Toph as his daughter-sister, as in he can’t choose whether he wants to replace her dad and be her dad or be the protective but not overly protective older brother she never had, so he calls himself “father-brother” and everyone hates it, but Sokka was never good at naming things. Also, one time they were really bored, so they decided to try and invent a language that is never spoken, but can be interpreted through Earthbending. Like, different methods of bending meant different things and stuff. It worked... kind of? Sokka likes learning and Toph likes kicking dirt and making people confused about what they were doing. They both have short attention spans, though, so they didn’t get far. They each still remember s=certain things and still talk through it (since Sokka is not an Earthbender, he taps his foot on the ground or kicks dirt a certain way. It’s kind of like morse code, bit different because only Toph can feel the taps).

Suki: Suki Suki Suki I love you! Suki is Toph’s go-to for fake relationships. Like. These two have been in a fake relationship with each other too many times to count. Toph’s parents invite her to a formal event but she needs to bring a date (and also she doesn’t want to go but she wants to repair the relationship)? Suki is her date. Suki needs to attend a royal event because she’s the highest Fire Nation palace guard (because I said so)? Toph comes as her date. A random person is hitting on either of them and they don’t know how to respond without unnecessary violence? Find the other and kiss their face.

Zuko: Zuko and Toph, what a pair. They both find beauty in nature (in different ways, obviously), so they’re walking buddies. They’ve gone on hikes together, like week-long hikes together. They’ll walk around the palace together... sometimes they’ll just sit together in silence because they don’t always need words to be friends.

Azula: (because yes, I am including the three girls): y’all. These two together can scare the entire world. Not just because they are actually insanely powerful, but because they make the most horrific self-deprecating jokes known to man and say it with intense seriousness that everyone has been genuinely worried at some point before they caught on (if it’s serious, they say it as a joke). One time, they both made these depressing jokes at lunch and Aang choked on his food. He didn’t die, but like. He was so unprepared that he choked. What I’m saying is, these two have a really weird relationship that takes place entirely through insults at each other, theirself, and everyone they love.

Ty Lee: Toph was actually scared of Ty Lee at first because of her chi blocking abilities. Not like terrified-scared, but like if you even take one more step towards me I will smash you with a boulder no matter your intentions-scared. Also, Ty Lee was so perky and kind of loud and Toph found that suspicious at first. It wasn’t like an Aang perky or loud, it was like... well, Toph couldn’t explain it (as in, I, op, cannot explain it), but it was a bit overwhelming? And then one time Ty Lee just. randomly visited her at her parents’ house even though they “weren’t friends” and Toph was just ????? but let her come in for dinner anyway because she kind of wanted to see how her parents would react to this peppy girl. Her parents ended up making a kind of snide remark at Toph’s expense during dinner (which was the usual but Toph didn’t realize it was a b u s e) and Ty Lee went off. That’s when Toph knew there were reasons to be terrified of this girl, but she would never be on the receiving end of her fury unless she really deserved it. They have very different family situations, but take pleasure in actually talking about it to each other. Because Ty Lee is a very open person and Toph is not. Toph thinks it’s nice to just let Ty Lee ramble on (kind of like Mai) and Ty Lee thinks Toph gives really good advice and has good insights (plus strives to help her feel more comfortable with her feelings). They become spontaneous buddies and randomly show up at each other’s houses when they’re living at home and it’s just nice.

Mai: last but never least, Mai and Toph! These two. feel for each other. so much. Rich kids, only children, parents who ignore them, ahhhhh, do you smell that? The repression of feelings:) Sometimes, they prefer to just be around each other because everyone else can kind of be overwhelming. They can communicate through few words and they both like throwing things, so they like sparring together a lot, It gives them a chance to throw things with another person who likes throwing things. For them, sparring is like this connection and it’s own method of loving each other (as friends do) and it’s just really nice for both of them.

Okay. I am done. Thank you, Grace, for fueling me.

I love Toph and I don’t give her enough attention.

[nerdybookworm25]

Rambling about Katara and Zutara

Ok so I’m going to kind of just put my two cents out there on this stuff. I joined the ATLA fandom this past summer and just started watching TLOK (my brother and I just finished Book 2 yesterday). This is a hot debate and I just want to ramble on about my opinions on this stuff. A lot of this will focus on Katara’s perspective because I can understand her better than Zuko or Aang due to personal experience. Im just... gonna... get into it now...

I’ll give you some background on me so you guys can understand where I’m coming from. I’m a 15 year old girl with abandonment issues caused by multiple deaths of close friends and family at a young age (my uncle when I was 4, a grandmother like figure when I was 7, my dad’s mum when I was 9 or 10, my great grandma when I was 11, a close friend of my dad’s when I was 13 and many others). I also am the Mum Friend (my friends literally call me “Mum”). I’m the caregiver of the group- the glue, the harmonizer, the therapist, the teacher, the good advice giver etc. (This stuff actually hot me in trouble as a kid and it kind of messed me up). My friends who have seen Avatar have compared me to Katara on multiple occasions and say I’ve got the temperament of a waterbender. You can kind of see where I’d relate, you know?

I do ship Zutara. My brother turned to me during the Book 1: Water- Episode 9~ The Waterbending Scroll and asked, “What if Zuko becomes a good guy and ends up with Katara?” From then on I was on the Zutara hill and I’ll probably die there. It limited ships that I loved from childhood and I thought it would hav been really cool- it would have fit the themes of the show, it would have been a cool thing to see grow and blossom, etc. It had nothing to do with Katara and Zuko being attractive at all- not in the slightest. It also wasn’t me projecting onto Katara. I didn’t really care to notice any major similarities between us until Book Three: Fire- Episode 7~ The Runaway. It was this exchange that changed Katara from my favorite character to someone I could heavily relate to.

Toph: [Sarcasically.] Oh really, Mom? Or what are you gonna do? Send me to my room?

Katara: I wish I could!

Toph: well you can’t! Because you’re not my mom, and you’re not their mom! [Extends her arm at Aang and Sokka, who are sitting on a ledge.]

Katara: I never said I was!

Toph: No, but you act like it! You think it’s your job to boss everyone around, but it’s not! You’re just a regular kid like the rest of us! Stop acting like you can tell me what to do! I can do whatever I want!

I remember bursting out laughing when I heard this. My brother asked me what was up and I paused it and explained that that was a lecture I revived so regularly when I was younger. It really really ended up messing me up. It’s not like I tried to mother anyone- it just happened. I wasn’t controlling it. I didn’t notice I was doing it and I got in trouble. Now things are different and I’ve embraced the fact that I am the designated Mum Freind. Still working on getting over being told off about it in therapy though. Anyway, I think you now can understand where I’m coming from with this “analysis.” Now I’m going to get into it (for real this time lol).

I think I’m going to start with the caregiver stuff. Katara’s mother died when she was very young. It was a very traumatic death. We can infer that Katara blamed herself for this death because the Southern Raiders were looking for the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe- her. That’s a lot for an 8 year old to try to process. Here’s the kicker: I don’t think she ever fully processed it until after Book 3: Fire- Episode 16~ The Southern Raiders. She almost immediately helped her grandmother take up the roll as the woman of the house. She probably didn’t feel like she had anyone to talk to about what she was feeling however true or false that’s what she most likely perceived this to be. When Hakoda leaves for war with all of the men of the tribe, Kanna might be the matriarch and help raise Sokka and Katara but even Sokka admits that Katara became a pseudo-mother for him. Taking care of others doesn’t leave a lot of time to deal with your own issues. Sometimes it feels easier to help others face their demons than face your own.

We continue to see Katara become the glue of the Gaang as the series progresses. She keeps them together in the Si Wong desert after Aang leaves her, Sokka, Toph, and Momo. She’s always the one cooking, cleaning, and mending not because she wants to, but because she knows no one else will do it and it needs to be done. We see her try to coax Toph into helping out around camp when she firsts joins the Gaang. It doesn’t work and this conflict continues for most of Book 2 and the beginning of Book 3. All of this time, she’s making it a point to take care of everyone. When the adults show up after the Boiling Rock, she’s still the one making the dinner and probably does a lot of the other chores as well (except for tea making- this will come into play later).

There’s a running joke about Katara being “Momtara” within the ATLA fandom (more the Zutaraians in the fandom than anything else but it’s a pretty well known concept). We continue to see this when the Gaang is on Ember Island. She brings them all drink during training sessions, watches said training sessions in case someone gets hurt and they need her, wrangles Sokka to the best of her ability, and just generally looks out for everyone regardless of age gap. It’s her natural instinct to be motherly. She retains this quality even after she finds Yon Rha. (Getting closure on her mother’s death doesn’t mean losing what had become a major personality trait).

Let’s unpack that now, shall we? Kya dies and Katara thinks it’s her fault. She doesn’t really talk to anyone about it. A few years later, Hakoda leaves to fight in the war. The Southern Water Tribe recives no letters or news about what happened to their warriors at all. Katara felt like she lost another parent. She nearly says as much during Book 3: Fire- Episode 1~ The Awakening.

Hakoda: You’re taking about me too, aren’t you?

Katara: How could you leave us, Dad? [She attempts to wipe away the tears.] I mean, I know we had Gran-Gran, and she loved us, but we were just so lost without you.

Hakoda moves to comfort her as she turns away.

Hakoda: I’m so sorry, Katara.

Katara: [Embraces Hakoda.] I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I’m so sad and angry and hurt!

The thing that sets off this exchange is Aang running away for the third time since Katara has known him (the fourth time in Aang’s lifetime). The other times he ran were when confronted by the rude fisherman in Book 1: Water- Episode 12~ The Storm, then again during Book 2: Earth- Episode 11~ The Desert. Aang has a, for lack of a better word, chronic running away problem. I’m not mad at him for it. It makes him an interesting character and shows that he too has flaws (even if they aren’t always addressed but that’s an issue with Bryke). When Aang flys away after waking up during 3.1, Katara is distraught.

Katara: He left.

Hakoda: What?

Katara: Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone, that it’s all his responsibility.

Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.

Katara: Its not brave, it’s selfish and stupid! We could be helping him and I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?

Katara feels abandoned by Aang. This is completely understandable. She has every right to be angry at him and feel sad that he flew away. He comes back every time but I feel like if I were in her position, as much as I’d hope my friend would come back and I’d tell everyone that I knew he would, I’d still be afraid that there was an off chance that he doesn’t. This is a natural human reaction to this situation. People were seemingly constantly fading in and out of Katara’s life and that just wasn’t good for her mental health. It couldn’t have been. This also raises the question of if someone has a very serious fear of abandonment, would it be healthy to be in a romantic relationship with someone who consistently leaves? Personally I don’t think so. Be friends? Sure. Date? I don’t know. It doesn’t quite sit right with me.

Katara probably feels abandoned by Zuko too. During the Book 2 Finale: Crossroads of Destiny, Katara and Zuko bond in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se. They relate over their shared fear of being abandoned by those they love (yes I think Zuko has abandonment issues too- among other issues/fears). When he turns his back on her, she doesn’t live him (obviously). She has cared about him enough up to that point to offer to use what is arguably her most powerful possession to heal his scar. She cares. Because she cares about him then, she is downright livid when he betrays her. (Of course the difference between Zuko and Aang with this is Zuko leaves once and comes back and he doesn’t leave again. Aang leaves and comes back over and over and over again).

Katara: I thought you had changed!

Zuko: I have changed!

Katara carries the weight of his betrayal on her mind until she and Zuko go on their life changing field trip to confront the man who killed Katara’s mother. This was her time to finally get closure. She had probably had these feelings bottled up for 6 years and didn’t act on them. When she finally had the chance, her best friend and brother tried to stop her. She lashed out.

Katara: We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.

Sokka pauses and stands up, surprised.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him.

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn’t understand. [Begins to walk away.]

Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don’t think so. I think this is about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe it’s what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Katara: Its not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn’t love her the way I did!

Sokka: [Hurt.] Katara!

Katara gets a lot of flack for this interaction. She says Sokka didn’t love their mother like she did and Sokka I’d understandably hurt. It doesn’t excuse what she said, but people do lash out when they are feeling a lot of emotions and they get defensive when they feel like they’re being ganged up on or attacked (I myself am guilty of this sort of thing). What Katara said was wrong but I have no doubt in my mind that she didn’t apologize to Sokka when he and the rest of the Gaang arrive on Ember Island later in the episode. She is seen walking over to him after she hugs Zuko.

Zuko and Katara go after Yon Rha anyway. For once in her life, Katara is feeling emotions and no one is trying to get her to stop or to push them aside. She doesn’t have to be constantly taking care of someone so she can focus on herself. Katara trusts Zuko more than I think she realizes. I mean she trusts him with a lot and he follows through on a lot of unspoken/subconscious agreements and promises.

Zuko is looking out for her. Zuko has her back. Zuko is allowing her to feel all of these emotions and work them out of her own accord. Zuko isn’t telling her to feel one way or another. Zuko isn’t going to judge her for whatever she decides to do when they find Yon Rha or what she does in order for them to get to that point. Zuko ensures she gets the closure she feels she needs.

When he sees her bloodbend, he’s surprised, but he isn’t appalled. When he thinks she’s going to run Yon Rha through with a giant shard of ice, he doesn’t try to stop her. He lets her be her. He sees a dark side of her in a way that no one else in the Gaang has seen. It’s strangely intimate. Clearly it has enough of an impact to make her forgive him. She knows he isn’t going to abandon betray her and her friend again.

Once they become friends, and even before that, Zuko starts to help out with small things here and there. We see him making tea for all of the kids at dinner. He tells jokes to make them laugh. He teaches Aang firebending. He goes with Sokka to the Boiling Rock to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed or in a prison cell for the rest of his life. With all of this, “Dadko” is born.

If you strip away Zuko’s anger, he just becomes the awkward-turtleduck-first-time-father that we all know and love. There’s more balance in the Gaang with him there to help and become an “authority” figure with Katara. They become the parents of the other members of the Gaang. It’s an interesting shift in their relationship- enemies to unsteady acquaintances to enemies to frenemies to friends. They’re close enough that they show small signs of physical intimacy and they tease each other.

Also if you look close enough when the Gaang walks into the “seedy Earth Kingdom tavern,” Zuko and Katara appear to be holding hands and are near each other from then until the finale episodes. They are clearly just great friends by the end of the show. I mean Zuko also takes a bolt of lightning to the chest for her...

Zuko doesn’t leave when his life gets difficult- not after he joins the Gaang. He made that mistake once and he won’t make it again. Aang was always part of the Gaang but continued to leave (again, I’m not mad at him for it but he never seems to realize the effect it has on the people around him- especially Katara). Zuko also doesn’t all but forget Katara and continue to run around the world. When Zuko fully decides to stick around, you best believe he is sticking around.

This works really well for Zutara. They’re both each other’s rock. They support each other and help each other in times of trouble. Do they argue? Yes. Is that a normal part of a healthy relationship- romantic or otherwise? Yes. Do they take care of and look out for each other while also not smothering or suffocating each other? Yes. I don’t know about you but this sounds stable and healthy to me. They balance each other out so well (I’m not going to get too into that because if you’re reading this you probably already know with the whole Tui and La, Yin and Yang, Oma and Shu thing).

Now, this is a big deal for me and it makes me furious, but Katara is forgotten by history. She has no statue. She is reduced to a housewife and healer- things our wonderful water feminist was afraid of becoming as an adult. I mean this girl

This girl

THIS GIRL

She becomes nothing but a housewife stuck in a healing hut who gets forgotten by the world and left behind by her family just... let’s all of that happen? Yeah that’s pretty unrealistic. I think about this frequently and with starting TLOK I have formed even more opinions and have a little thingy (I don’t know what to call it) for what happened to her.

Kya II is everything Teenage Katara wanted to do and be before settling down. Old Katara is everything Teenage Katara was so afraid of become reduced to/becoming.

It’s an interesting way to think about it and I thought I’d share. Now if Katara was Fire Lady, she wouldn’t end up like that. She’d have the power to change the world and continue to fight for what she believed in. She could have helped with the trail with Yakone. Katara has so much potential to not be forgotten or brushed aside and somehow it happened. It makes me so sad. The potential Zutara had to make sure Katara had a genuine legacy was right there at their finger tips and they didn’t use it. What a shame. What a shame.

With all of the things I’ve talked about, I just feel like Zutara would have been better for Katara than Kataang was. I think that’s more Bryke not developing the relationship well enough and instead choosing to be sloppy and selfish in the way they structured the relationship. Yeah this is my rambling on about the issue. Hope it was mildly entertaining! If you want me to write something about how Zuko would have benefited from Zutara, let me know!

[waywardfacegarden]

burning embers

Modern Au: Zuko centric + The Gaang + Zukka + Friendship/Family feels + Angst and Fluff.

Summary: Zuko learns the meaning of love.

Read on Ao3 here.

.

There’s something so tragically painful about falling in love, they say.

But Zuko wouldn’t know. He doesn’t know what falling in love with someone is, he doesn’t know what it feels like. Love is a concept so alien to him; he can’t even grasp the root of it. He just knows a broken home, the remaining ashes of a devastating, blazing fire that was supposed to be his father’s love.

He doesn’t know what love is. And yet, he understands: the underlying and heart-wrenching agony that comes with loving. The sorrow that comes with it; it is just there, intrinsically linked. It’s something that the small kid—full of unknown love and golden warmth, but also deep, bitter pain—comprehends at the tender age of 11.

It’s just common knowledge for him, the same way he knows the sky is blue and the sun hides at night.

Family. Love. Father.

Those words don’t have meaning, Zuko thinks, lying on his bed one night, still hearing the disappointment in his father’s voice echoing in his ears in the quiet darkness of his room. They’re there, of course. And he knows them. He can say them. But they feel far away, slipping through the space between his fingers, becoming dust that blows away with the chilly wind of an autumn midnight, escaping him before he can place what was there in the first place.

They don’t hold weight. They don’t mean anything. They’re shallow; they just exist, like a couple of letters strewn together, like when you say your name so many times in a row it doesn’t even feel right anymore; but, he supposes only a few people are blessed with their significance, with tasting them in their mouth with something not akin to hate or bitterness or emptiness.

Loneliness. Despair. Dishonor.

Those have meaning. Those have weight, despite being such empty words.

(But they very much taste like something akin to hate, too—and that’s the thing.

Maybe Zuko just doesn’t know anything aside from [self-]hate.)

.

.

Family, love, father. They are concepts that come alive to him the same way a phoenix is born.

They rise, awakening from the ashes that the fire within themselves has burned to death; so beautiful, so mystical, so mesmeric and so incredibly fragile and precious and wondrous, like a mythological creature coming back to life after having known its own death.

He learns the words and their meaning the same way his brain starts learning new things and concepts by reading a book; but he doesn’t learn with his mind—even though a part of him knows that this is where knowledge is stored—Zuko learns with his heart (he has always learned things best with his heart; after all, Zuko wears it on his sleeve; he’s emotional, visceral, volatile—his feelings are way too intense, too much that they burn his chest open; he’s always aflame), with his eyes, with his hands. He learns it in every little gesture that’s given to him, in every little crack (that keeps filling and filling and filling) of the time that goes on, in every little drop of ink that is spilled on the parchment where his life is being written.

He learns the words in the way he begins learning his uncle's tea recipes, in the satisfaction and pride he feels when his uncle congratulates him for a job well-done on a warm, quiet Saturday afternoon as he finishes helping cleaning and serving the tables around the teashop, in the way his favorite cup sits next to his uncle's on the kitchen counter in the mornings, full of Zuko’s favorite bubble tea; he learns them in the ugly, endearing, oversized sweater hanging at the back of his closet, the one his uncle gave him in his last birthday; he learns about love in the gentle smiles of weekends, in the singing of the birds outside his room’s window, in the blanket that rests around his shoulders when he is sitting on the comfy couch on a calm Thursday night, dozing off while trying to study for an English test, in the way the nightmares that used to haunt him are tormenting him less and less every time; he learns the meaning of father in his uncle's ridiculous pajamas, full of tiny drawings of cherry blossoms and tea leaves, in his uncle’s obsession with Pai Sho, and in the wise phrases he keeps throwing at Zuko even when he cannot fully understand them.

He learns, little by little, step by step, like a slow fire burning inside his guts.

And it's a weird, strange thing. Zuko learned that fire hurts you, the same way he learned that love does, but somehow, after years of building his new life, it doesn't feel that way anymore.

His uncle is patient with him. Patient as someone who would teach someone else origami or as someone who’s slowly writing a book. He teaches him, sees him fall, stumble and trip over his feet (both, metaphorically and literally speaking) and he’s there when Zuko gets up again.

It’s a nice feeling. Knowing that someone is going to be there, even if you fall. Even when you fail.

His uncle teaches him, the same way he creates a new tea receipt for the menu; carefully, gently, ever so softly. He takes Zuko, the broken child who looks at him through his pain and hatred, and makes him open his eyes. He points out, over and over and over again, that failing is not a bad thing, that love exists and that it doesn't have to hurt, and that if it does, you can heal from it; he teaches him that Zuko is full of it, full of love, he says that he’s always been.

Somehow, it feels a bit like healing. Of course, Zuko is still broken. Probably, a part of him always will be; but, somehow, he doesn't think that being a bit broken is so wrong now.

.

.

Friendship was a foreign concept to him, too. Or maybe not, but Zuko never wanted to get involved with it.

Too much trouble.

(Or maybe fear—fear of what it carries, what it holds in its nature; fear of failing, of not being enough, of being left out, of getting too attached.)

But just as Zuko was wrong about so many things in his life, this is not the exception.

He comes to learn that, too.

It’s a different process than with his uncle. Maybe because it’s slower, or maybe because it’s, rather, faster. Maybe because he wasn’t aware he was learning at all.

Zuko doesn’t know exactly when it starts. Can’t pinpoint the exact moment he started getting involved. Not that he cares much about that at this point, but he would like to know.

They kind of adopt him in their group (or, er, gang, as they call it), without Zuko noticing. But to be fair, Zuko doesn’t notice a lot of things.

Toph is a friend of his Uncle, and she lives near the teashop, so she’s around more time than she’s not; she’s loud and kinda rude, and always calls Zuko a dork or a nerd or an idiot, but Zuko realizes he likes when she’s there. Aang comes along sometimes, with his scarily bright smile. There’s also Katara and her big brother, Sokka.

He likes all of them, to his extreme surprise. They’re all good people. Aang is way too kind, Katara may be scary but she’s pretty cool, and Sokka is just a combination of a very, weirdly endearing, smart dumbass, which is, uh, new.

He honestly doesn’t know how it happened, or when it happened, but suddenly he’s tucked under a soft fuzzy blanket in winter, sandwiched in the middle of the three-spot sofa, with Aang almost laying over his lap. He’s almost sitting on Sokka’s right leg, pressing him against the arm sofa, his side overlapping with Sokka’s. He doesn’t seem to mind, though. He’s sitting there, cross-legged, with his right arm fully extended on the back of the sofa, almost like he’s hugging Zuko’s shoulders; he’s practically leaning on Zuko.

His arm and his side are really warm, though. Not as much as Zuko generally is, but it’s… kind of nice.

“Katara, Titanic is a classic, dude. What the hell.”

Zuko takes a sip from his hot chocolate, blowing off the clouds of steam gathering over the cup—the warmth of it is pretty welcomed in his throat, to be honest, while Katara rolls her eyes at her brother.

“I’m not watching that for the fifth time in a month and seeing you and Aang both cry for an hour later after the already three long hours of the movie.”

Sokka looks pretty indignant about Katara’s attitude towards his (probably) favorite movie, which is pretty amusing.

“You’re just a monster,” Sokka says, dramatically, “that’s why you don’t cry.”

Katara rolls her eyes again.

“I don’t know,” Toph says, from the couch closer to the TV, sprawled all comfortably over it. “It’s actually a really funny movie,” she points out, and then draws out her voice. “‘Jack, draw me like one of your French girls’.”

Aang laughs pretty loud, and Zuko smiles at the bad impersonation despite himself.

“Well, My Heart Will Go On is my anthem.” Sokka says, puffing out his chest.

Zuko actually snorts into his cup and Sokka shoots him a look. He remembers the time Aang and Sokka recreated that iconic scene, with Toph singing at the top of her lungs in a ridiculously obnoxious voice. He actually laughed at that.

Sokka seems to read his mind, because after a few moments of staring at Zuko’s face, his entire expression lights up. He grins, eyes sparkling, and starts singing really loud and purposely out of tune. Aang starts laughing and Toph doesn’t waste time on joining Sokka in singing. Even Katara smiles.

A few minutes later of terrible singing, they’re all laughing. Toph is cackling so hard she’s on the floor, and Sokka keeps leaning over him, laughing in his ear. He believes it should be annoying, but instead of that, it’s actually infectious and Zuko laughs a bit harder.

After they calm down, Toph is clutching at her sides and Sokka is wiping tears out of his eyes.

Aang smiles, then, softly and content, and raises a hand in the air, like asking for permission to talk.

“I have an idea.” He says, and turns around to look at him. “Why don’t we just let Zuko decide? He hasn’t chosen anything yet for our Friday movie nights.” 

All eyes turn to look at him at that. He stops his movements, mouth hanging open, hot cup halfway to his lips.

“Uh,” he frowns. “Thank you, but, um. Why would I choose? It’s your thing.”

Everyone stares at him like he has two heads, which, okay fair but why.

“What?”

Aang gives him a soft smile, all kind eyes and gentle features, like he’s about to talk to a baby, but before he can say anything, Sokka is putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning all his weight on him, as if they weren’t already close enough.

“This is your thing as much as it is ours, dude.” He says, grinning, “You’re one of us.” He vaunts, proudly, and ruffles Zuko’s hair.

Katara nods, at the same time Toph goes:

“Yup, you’re already in, loser.”

Aang chuckles. “Yes, you’re our friend, Zuko.”

Zuko blinks, stunned.

That’s… 

There’s… 

That’s… the F-word.

Friend.

Friend.

Huh? What? How? When did that happen? Huh? Did he miss something in the past few months?

Sokka, completely oblivious to his emotional turmoil, insistently points to the TV while squeezing him. "So, buddy? Don't you think we should watch Titanic to cry and share a couple of very male tears?"

"You only want to watch it because you have a crush on both Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio." Katara accuses.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes, you do! You even still keep that poster of them behind your…"

"Katara!!!!"

.

.

Friend.

It’s a nice word.

It tastes like hot chocolate in his mouth on a cold night, it sounds like Sokka’s laugh and Toph’s jokes, and it looks like Aang’s kind eyes and Katara’s nice smile.

It feels like something. It holds meaning. It’s not an empty word. At all.

Sokka’s hand ruffling his hair or over his shoulders, Toph’s nicknames for him, Aang’s offer of help in times he feels like Zuko needs it, Katara’s help with homework and advice on his recipes doesn’t let him forget that. ‘Friend’ is never going to be an empty word.

Friend tastes like hope, like warm food and bear-hugs.

Friend is such a nice word.

.

.

The thing with Zuko being generally—and strangely—warm all the time is that summer is a complete nightmare for him.

He's sitting directly in front of the fan at full power, barefoot in just jeans and a light T-shirt, and yet he still feels like he's going to explode. The weather forecast in the morning heralded a heat wave in midsummer, and it's exactly the worst thing in the world that could happen to Zuko's already overheated body. Toph groans beside him, lying with her arms and legs spread like a starfish on the cold ground. It is no comfort to her, however, and Zuko can understand that well.

Katara is looking at something on her phone, fanning herself with a magazine, and Aang remains practically unaffected, just as energetic as ever as he eats the remaining watermelon slices from the bowl they recently filled.

Zuko is wondering if he should go, or if he should fall asleep on the freezing ground that doesn't seem to be freezing at all, when Sokka walks into the living room in his baseball uniform. He has just returned from his morning summer practice; sweat is running down the side of his face, and his shirt is partly sticking to his body from the moisture. He smiles at everyone in greeting before gulping down all that's left of the water on the bottle of his hand. Zuko stares at his Adam's apple bob while he's drinking, and then his eyes trail the trickle of water that slides down his jaw over his desperation to drink all the water so fast. The drop goes down, down, down, dripping over his collarbone and sinking into his neck until it eventually gets lost somewhere inside his shirt. Sokka throws the bottle over the trash can and uses his shirt collar to wipe the water and some of his sweat off his face. Zuko's eyes unconsciously move downward; he can see a line of skin on Sokka's abdomen and stomach.

He swallows. Uh. His mouth is suddenly very dry. He's probably dehydrated. Is he dehydrated? He's starting to feel a little dizzy.

"So? Beloved friends, beloved little sister? Did you miss me? Obviously, you did."

Katara rolls her eyes, but still asks, "How was practice, dumbass?"

"It was cool! I hit twelve curve-balls in a row and sixteen of that weird fastball Suki pitches. Oh! And I'm finally getting the thing about that forkball. Also... woah, Zuko, are you okay?!"

Zuko blinks from where he was staring at Sokka's hair. It's kind of wet. Is that sweat? Shouldn't that be gross? Why is Zuko staring? Does he find it gross? He doesn't think so, but he also can't quite explain why...

"Woah, bud," Sokka says, kneeling in front of him and getting dangerously close to his face. "You're so red, are you having heatstroke or something? Do you feel dizzy?" He leans on his knees and presses a hand to his forehead, pulling up the bangs hanging over it. It feels nice, actually. Sokka's soft hand on his boiling skin feels like fresh water. He kind of wants to lean into it.

He probably does, because Sokka frowns. "Maybe you have a fever..." His mouth presses into a thin line. "Don't you want to take a shower to cool off? I can lend you some clothes, we're about the same height, they'll fit."

Zuko blinks. Huh?

"Here, let me help you." Sokka says, helping him up.

Around an hour later, Zuko feels a lot better, laying with his back on the floor in Sokka's baggy shorts and blue T-shirt with a cartoonish drawing of The Pink Panther. Zuko smiles involuntarily when he looks at it. It smells a bit like Sokka, or at least the detergent he uses. That makes his stomach do weird flips. He's not feeling that hot anymore, but maybe he is getting sick...

"Hey," Sokka tells him, looking at him from above, standing just behind Zuko's head. His toes are barely avoiding touching Zuko's sprawled hair on the floor.

"Hey," Zuko answers back, looking up at Sokka's soft face. His hair is down and still wet from the shower, and a few drops fall on the bridge of Zuko's nose when Sokka hovers over him. Zuko's face scrunches up, more out of involuntary reaction than out of bother, but Sokka chuckles.

"Sorry," he says, not sounding sorry at all. He uses the towel around his neck to messily dry his hair. "You look a lot better, now."

"Yes," Zuko muses, still a bit mesmerized by Sokka's wet hair. And Sokka's face. "Thanks."

Sokka grins brightly at him. "Sure."

He looks like he's about to say something else, but before he can say anything, Toph groans just a few feet away, sitting now on the couch. "Stop flirting and get a room already; it’s gross. We're here, too."

"What? We weren’t—"

Katara agrees, quietly.

"Hey! I was just worried!" Sokka excuses himself. "Weren't you all? His face was as red as a tomato."

Katara looks up from her magazine and gives him a pointed look, with one elegantly arched brow. Apparently, she doesn't even need to say anything else, because it's enough to make Sokka blush.

Oh.

He's cute, Zuko thinks. And then, oh, I think Sokka is cute. And then Sokka stomps over the kitchen muttering unintelligible things, still a faint blush over his cheeks.

Zuko smiles to himself watching his childish behavior. He is, though. He is cute.

.

.

.

It's raining heavily outside, drops pouring loudly against the asphalt of the sidewalk.

Zuko side-glances at Sokka. Maybe it's because after the course of a year, Zuko has learned to recognize many of Sokka's little gestures, or maybe it's the fact that the boy has been so much into his own mind lately, but Zuko recognizes that way he scrunches up his nose, that wrinkle between his eyebrows, that way his eyes twitch.

“Are you okay?” 

He’s asking mostly just to be polite, to be honest; he already knows he’s not. He knows something’s up.

Sokka turns to look at him, and then stares at the rain hitting the glass window of the lonely teashop.

“I’m…” He says, and looks at his hand. Then he presses his mouth into a thin line.

“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Zuko says, awkwardly, because as much as he cares, he’s still a mess when it comes to social cues. He’s never going to stop being a mess. And terrible at comforting people.

Sokka sees right through him, though, like he always does, and smiles softly at him. His whole face mellows. It kind of makes Zuko’s heart flutter in his chest, like a butterfly flapping its wings.

“I’m…” Sokka tries again, looking at Zuko’s face. At his eyes, at his scar, at his neck. He feels weirdly exposed, but at the same time… He doesn’t. It’s just Sokka. Which means it’s okay. “Scared, I guess.”

Zuko blinks and tilts his head to the side. He’s not sure if he should ask, but…

“Of?”

Sokka gives him a wry smile.

“Of failing? Of disappointing my dad? Of not being enough? I don’t know, I can’t quite pick a single one.”

Sokka’s voice is not quite bitter, but it feels like that, in the air around them. Zuko knows the feeling pretty well.

“You are enough.” Zuko affirms, without a single trace of hesitation in his voice. Because Sokka is enough, in every single aspect, and he shouldn’t feel like any less than that. Zuko’s also aware of what he’s worrying about, and for Zuko, it’s just absurd—Sokka is one the very few people that shouldn’t worry about passing the entrance exam of college at all, he’s crazy smart. He should know that. But, to be fair, Zuko can’t judge him nor scold him for self-doubt when it used to be all that he was, along with his self-hate. So he says it out loud, looking into Sokka’s wide, surprised eyes. “You’re also really smart, Sokka, I’m sure you’re going to ace the entrance exam. You shouldn’t worry.”

Sokka rolls his eyes, but he also adopts that playful-kinda-flirty side of him. It’s painful because Zuko can see the sadness underlying in his voice and body language so clearly. Can see the lack of confidence in every single motion.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I am,” he agrees, “but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I really believe so. You’re the smartest person I know. You’re very capable of doing whatever you want, so have faith in yourself just like I have faith in you.”

Once he says it, and Sokka blinks once, twice, thrice at him, Zuko feels painfully aware (and painfully embarrassed) of what he just said.

Oh Lord, what did he actually…

“Ah,” Sokka says, and makes a face that Zuko can’t name. “You’re blushing.”

Zuko covers his cheeks with both hands. Sokka is probably right, they’re so warm, but still.

“I’m not.” Still.

Sokka laughs, and raises both eyebrows. “You sure?” He asks, staring pointedly at his face, which only makes him blush harder.

Stupid Sokka.

He must know the effect he’s having on him, because he laughs again, lightheartedly. Well, at least he’s not upset anymore…

“I’m not,” he uselessly and pathetically insists, even when it’s tragically obvious he is. But he has some pride, okay.

Sokka grins, but it’s all devilish. It makes Zuko’s hair stand on end. A chill runs down his spine.

“It’s just hot.”

Sokka smirks. “Sure, you’re always hot.”

“Shut up,” Zuko complains and groans, facing away from him so that he can’t see his blatant embarrassment. Sokka’s natural flirty personality wasn’t that much of a problem back then, but it’s only gotten worse, and Zuko just can’t handle it sometimes. It feels like way too much.

“Ah, but you blush when you’re embarrassed. That’s cute.” Sokka points out, a wide grin on his face. “Imagine being both cute and hot, what a crime.” 

He sighs theatrically, and Zuko is very tempted to answer, “shut up, look who’s talking,” but he knows he will just get more embarrassed after saying that. He needs to calm down. So he just grumbles while Sokka laughs.

Then, when Sokka has already calmed down and Zuko can feel his face like normal again, they look quietly at the rain, steadily keeping its pace.

“Zuko,” Sokka says, after some time, and Zuko quirks an eyebrow in reply. 

Sokka smiles. “Thank you. For believing me. It means a lot.”

Zuko smiles back. “Of course.”

.

.

Zuko notices it one night. (Though, looking back, it’s weird he didn’t notice it before.)

Well, more like, Aang notices and points it out, and then Zuko realizes that what he said is pathetically true, lying in bed at night because he still mulls things over sometimes before going to sleep.

“You know,” Aang had casually said, holding a can of orange juice, sitting next to Zuko on the bleachers at one of Sokka’s practice games. “You stare at Sokka a lot.”

Zuko frowned. “It’s his game, after all. We’re here to watch him,” he had retorted, like it was obvious.

“Well, yes, but I don’t mean only now. You stare at him all the time.”

Zuko didn’t feel like he liked where this conversation was going. Something about his expression must had given him away, or maybe Aang was just too good at reading him now, because he said:

“Wait.” He actually had sounded surprised. “You mean you’re not aware you have a crush on him?”

Zuko’s eyes went wide. “What? I don’t have a crush on him.”

Aang quirked up an eyebrow. Sure, he didn’t need to say.

“I don’t,” he had pressed on.

Aang hadn’t looked any more convinced of what he had said. If anything, he looked more convinced on what he himself had said. Aang had looked at him for a very long period of 1 minute before lightly chuckling and nudging him in the arm with his elbow, smiling brightly at him.

It was weird, but Zuko has gotten better at reading them, maybe just as much as Aang has with him. Maybe that’s why he knows what Aang means with all of that. Admit it when you’re ready.

It’s not like he was trying to deny or hide it. It’s not like he was trying to lie. He just didn’t think Aang was actually right.

But he is. Zuko can’t stop looking at Sokka, all the time. Thinking about him. About the way he smiles, with his hair up, with his hair down, with that denim jacket that fits him in all the right angles, with his baseball cap, ecstatic after he scored a run in the 8th inning. 

Sokka, practicing on the field. Grinning widely and openly and hugging him tightly when he aced the entrance exam. Leaning in to taste Zuko’s ice-cream into his own mouth. Ruffling his own messy hair. Wearing those silly cartoon t-shirts. Serenading Zuko with Electric Love and the most ridiculous voice ever on his birthday as a joke. Messy eating. Scrunching up his nose while drinking green tea. Reciting 80% of the Star Wars dialogues by heart. Being obsessed with boomerangs and swords (though not as much as Zuko is with that last one). Biting into the end of his pencil when he’s focused on writing an English essay.

Ahhhhh.

Oh, holy honor.

He has a crush. A crush. Feelings.

When did that happen? Why did that happen? He doesn’t know. Was it because of his warm eyes? His pretty smile? His pretty lips? Was it because he opened up to Zuko, let himself be vulnerable around him, bled his heart out so Zuko could piece it back together? Was it because he’s funny? Charming? Cool? Smart? Astonishingly cute? Was it because he made Zuko feel made out of thin air, sometimes, so raw and exposed but yet so safe, so comfortable in his own skin? ...That is, the others don’t necessarily make him feel unsafe, or uncomfortable. He just feels like he can be all open and vulnerable with Sokka better. Maybe because he opened up to him first, about something so personal like his mom (and Zuko knew about losing a mom, too).

Well, whatever the reason, it doesn’t exactly matter, does it? He’s already in deep.

Zuko rolls over his stomach and sighs, groaning loud into his pillow. Why, why, why, why. It’s not like he even has a chance, so why did he have to…

Ugh.

Feelings are stupid. His heart is stupid.

And the way he falls asleep thinking about Sokka’s laugh is even stupider.

.

.

The thing is, because Zuko notices all the little details in Sokka’s gestures and behavior, he also notices the way he acts differently towards… Certain people.

“Me and Yue?” Sokka laughs, and Zuko blinks. He didn’t even mean to ask it out loud. Now, he would just hear the confirmation of what he already knew from Sokka’s lips. How is that any better? Good job, Zuko. 

“Nah, man, Suki would kill me if she sees me wooing her girlfriend. Or at least kick me pretty damn hard.” Huh? Zuko blinks again. Huh? So they’re… Sokka and Yue… They’re not… 

“And believe me, she’s super strong. She kicked me once and I’ve always regretted eating that last cupcake on the fridge.” Sokka makes a face and shudders, like the mere flashback is enough to make him fear. But then he smiles, in that soft way of his that makes Zuko’s knees go really weak. “And I’m pretty sure Yue is immensely happy with her, too.”

Zuko doesn’t know what to say, so he just oh-so-eloquently utters:

“Ah.”

Sokka seems amused.

“Didn’t you know they were a thing? The PDA is so strong when they’re together, you have to have seen it.”

Well, that was… Zuko just thought they were touchy with each other? Sokka is pretty much touchy with him all the time, but that doesn’t mean they’re a thing.

Well.

“That’s rough, buddy.”

Sokka blinks. “Why?”

Zuko frowns. He tilts his head in confusion. “Because you are… Romantically attracted to her? It must be rough.”

Sokka blinks once, twice, three times. Stares. Then, he throws his head back and cackles, clutching his stomach.

“Dude, what the hell.” He wheezes. “Just say the word crush like normal people.” 

“Hmm.”

Then, when he calms down, Sokka eyes Zuko.

“Wait, what?” He says, serious all of a sudden. Or at least, surprised. “Do you really think that?” At Zuko’s lack of response, Sokka looks at him, then at his hands, then at the TV, where the video game they were playing is still on pause. Then, back at Zuko’s face. “No, I don’t have a crush on her. Or on Suki, for that matter.”

Zuko frowns. Sokka must know he doesn’t believe him, because he continues.

“I mean, I did.” He admits. “Back when I met her, when I was, like, 14. But I’m over it, now—Not that she’s not great; she’s awesome and I love her, just… Not in that way. It was just a silly teen-crush, anyway. And Suki is my best friend. We had a thing for a few months like two years ago, but we hit it off so much better as friends. She’s my bi icon, though. And bestest friend.”

“Oh.”

“Besides,” Sokka adds, and eyes him pointedly, “I’m interested in someone else right now.”

Zuko stares. Blinks.

What.

So he does have someone he’s interested in anyway. God, Zuko really doesn’t stand a chance. Why even bothering trying? And it’s not like he knows how to try something, anyway…

From the other corner of the room, Aang shoots him a very cryptic look. Zuko can’t describe what he’s thinking, but he guesses he’s taking pity on him. After all, he knows.

Ah. He really doesn’t like having feelings.

.

.

His mind is a cruel thing. It’s what keeps him up at night, what reminds him of all his insecurities, what makes him feel undeserving of love, what keeps throwing image after image into his head of his broken childhood on bad days. It’s what, as much as his heart, knows about his deepest desires, his longing, his yearning and thinks it’s amusing to play with Zuko for a bit.

“Zuko,” Sokka says, with a fragile smile on his face, his voice going ridiculously soft, his eyes warming up, and Zuko’s heart pounds on his chest like big waves crashing on the shore of a lonely beach. “Zuko, I love you.”

It’s kind of—very—criminal the way Sokka makes him feel. The way he makes Zuko’s heart seem like it’s going to burst out of his chest with how fast it beats after hearing just those three words, the way he makes Zuko’s entire soul ache and want, the way he makes him feel so grounded, so him, yet so tiny and delicate, like he’s made out of thin sheets of ice.

Is this how love feels?

Is this how it should feel like?

He wouldn’t know. He doesn’t know what falling in love is. He just knows a broken home, the destructive, neon-like, toxic obsession with power his dad had, instead of any tender form of anything else that can be called love that his dad should have had for his mom, but never did.

Falling in love is made to hurt. Falling in love is destined to make you feel sad, and alone, and unsafe.

Falling in love is a cruel thing. It’s not cut out for weak people, and Zuko is weak. He’s destined to break. He has always been made out of fragile, easy-to-destroy things.

That’s why his mind plays with him all the time.

He wakes up in his bed, opens his eyes to the dark quiet of his room, feels the way his heart beats so hard that he can almost feel it on his throat. And he feels lost. And sad.

He doesn’t even scream. He just lies there, feeling the world becoming smaller, feeling himself becoming smaller.

Lord, he’s royally fucked. Screwed. He knows. He’s destined to break.

There’s something so tragically painful about falling in love, they say.

.

.

He’s sitting with Toph leaning back on his right side, on the fluffy couch in Katara and Sokka’s living room, cutting up squares out of colorful paper.

They are both terrible in the kitchen. Something coming from being rich kids, Sokka playfully teased earlier. And he guesses it’s true. Either way, they are terrible—Zuko even burned his own kitchen once while making scrambled eggs (and that was. Not a very good day). Sure, he has tried to help Uncle Iroh a couple of times, and he knows a bit of the basics, but besides preparing tea, he’s lost. He can’t cook to save his life. So when Zuko almost lights a fire to bake cookies and mixes up the recipe for the second time, Katara kicks them out and bans them from the kitchen for the next 4 hours. Toph protests just to be annoying—she doesn’t like cooking at all, she has told him, but she loves annoying Katara, it’s her favorite idle activity. Zuko would be offended, but it’s the smartest choice if they want to finish baking Aang’s birthday cake without setting the kitchen on fire, so it’s fine.

Besides, this way he can steal a few glances at Sokka, as he hangs up the decorations he and Toph are making. The muscles under his shirt flex when he raises his arms above his head, his messy hair down from its ponytail, falling over his face when he moves a bit to the left, a line of the smooth skin of his back making its way to Zuko's curious, avid eyes.

Zuko swallows.

Toph sighs heavily and throws her head back. “So, are you planning to make a move any time this century or are you a loser?”

Zuko eyes her, coming out of his stupor, confused. “What?”

Toph smirks. “Right, you’re always a loser, my bad.”

Zuko blinks. Not because of Toph calling him a loser, but because, for a second, he really doesn’t get what she means.

Then, when he does, he buries his face into his hands and groans.

“Even you know?”

Toph laughs. "Yes, idiot, it's stupidly obvious.” She pats his arm. “I can see it and I'm blind, you know." 

Zuko groans again. He’s in physical pain right now. "How?"

She shrugs. "I don’t know. Maybe the way you say his name. Or talk about him."

Zuko feels a bit of panic. 

What? Is he that obvious? How does he say Sokka’s name?

"His name?"

"Yeah,” Toph confirms, nodding exaggeratedly, “stupidly sappy. It's gross."

"Oh my god."

She laughs again, loudly, because his suffering is apparently amusing. "You also talk about him a lot," she chuckles, "and sigh every time you see him. At least that’s what I assume, given that he’s in the room and you keep sighing like a 12-year-old girl in love. Pinning all the way.”

Zuko wants to die. He seriously wants to die. Maybe he should just tell Sokka he likes him, so when he rejects him, Zuko can just die a quick, albeit painful, death.

Toph nudges at his arm, with her typical abnormal strength for someone her age, but she doesn’t mean any harm. “So?” She asks, again. “Are you planning to make a move or not?"

Zuko sighs, "I can't do anything, he likes someone else."

Toph kind of stops where she’s fumbling with a couple of paper sheets. She then turns around and makes this face, where she’s scrunching up her nose and frowning like she just smelled something sour, or like when she’s deeply confused. "Did he say that?"

"Yes."

"Did Sokka seriously tell you that?"

Zuko’s confused at Toph’s relentless insistence. "...Yes?"

Toph’s face goes back to normal, but there’s something about the way she continues to hum that makes it seem like she still thinks Zuko is an alien, or something.

"You must have misunderstood him—which wouldn’t be a surprise, to be honest." She says the last part in a whisper, but he still hears her. That’s probably what she wanted anyway, but it’s not like he gets it. What does that mean? Zuko gets Sokka. That’s one of the few things he’s really proud of. Did he just think that he got Sokka while, all this time, he actually didn’t?

No. He understands Sokka. Sokka himself has told him that.

"No, I didn't. And I don't have a chance if he likes someone else, so I might as well not even try."

Toph looks mad. "You're super pessimistic, dumbass."

"Hmm."

She sighs, looking deeply tired and frustrated, like Zuko has completely worn her out. Then, she raises her fist and punches him. Hard.

Ouch.

Zuko yelps, and rubs at his sore arm. “What was that for?” he grumbles.

She frowns. “To punch some sense into you, big oblivious idiot!" Toph hums a low, guttural sound in the back of her throat, like she’s a feral dog trying to threaten a pedestrian. “Just try, at least. Everyone is kind of getting tired of your pinning, too."

"Ah." Everyone?

"Full offence."

"Ah."

“Even Katara. The only reason she hasn’t intervened yet is because she says it’s not her business to push you, but I don’t think her reasoning is gonna last long.”

Katara too!? Oh, no.

Zuko seriously wants to die.

.

.

Eventually, things go on. 

Zuko’s “crush” doesn’t go away. If anything, it just grows and grows and grows until it becomes almost unbearable. But he still can’t say anything.

“Zuko.”

“Hmm?”

“You know,” Sokka says, looking at him with feign innocence, sitting with his hands upwards behind him in Zuko’s room, “that looks heavy, want me to hold it for you?”

Zuko frowns. He looks up from his work to give Sokka a confused look. “What is, my pen?”

Sokka gives him that little, playful smile—the one that is so incredibly hot for some reason Zuko can’t understand. His eyes gleam, even more than they do all the time.

“Nope,” he says, and his smile grows an inch, “your hand.”

Zuko blinks. Sokka flirting with him is nothing new, that’s why he manages to hold back his blush a bit and remain calm, even when he’s a bit dying inside.

He is just trapped between telling him, “god, I wish you were flirting with me for real,” and, “please stop doing it, it’s not good for my heart,” and, “If only you knew how much I really want to hold your hand”, but neither of those options are actually. Something viable.

“Are you flirting with me?” He asks instead, knowing the answer already.

Sokka would laugh, brush it off, and say something like, “ah, but you didn’t blush this time,” and let it go.

He doesn’t, though.

What he does, instead, is shrug and look at Zuko’s textbook, like he’s completely uninterested in the conversation.

Huh.

But then he speaks up again.

“Have been for the past year and a half or so, but thanks for noticing.” He answers.

Zuko blinks. He’s tempted to answer, “yeah, I know, which is a cruel, cruel thing to do, by the way, given how my heart just wants to escape out of my chest and go with you every time you do it,” or something equally playful to play it down like they always tend to do, but… for some reason, this time it feels… Real.

Maybe he should just laugh.

He doesn’t, though, and, “What?” is what comes out of his mouth.

Sokka looks up. “I said that I’ve been doing it for a year and a half or so, thank you for finally noticing.”

Zuko doesn’t understand. He’s not following the conversation at all. “Wait.”

“Ahh,” Sokka sighs, “honestly, if you didn’t notice by the end of the month, I would have felt deeply embarrassed. I was starting to think I lost my charm and I didn’t know how to flirt.”

“Well, that was a terrible pick-up line,” Zuko can’t help but retort, and like he wasn’t mildly-insulted, Sokka grins at him.

“But it worked for you, didn’t it?” He teases, leaning on Zuko’s personal space, “it made you feel something.”

Zuko frowns. “How would you know?”

Sokka stares. “Your face.”

“My face?”

“I can see it. In your face.”

Zuko covers his mouth, frowning. He can feel his own heart race.

Sokka is still way too close.

“You can…?”

“Yup.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Zuko says, blinking. “That means—are you—are you flirting with me? For real?”

Sokka quirks both eyebrows. “Yes...?”

“But you—you…”

“Zuko, I don’t know where you got the idea, but I don’t flirt with anyone aside from you—at least, I haven’t done it in a long time. So yes, I am actually flirting with you.”

Zuko feels like he just got hit in the head. “Why?”

Sokka blinks. “Because I want to?”

“But why do you want to?”

Sokka shoots him a look. “Zuko,” he says, slowly, “I like you. I thought that was obvious already.”

Zuko blinks. “You have… romantic feelings for me?”

Sokka laughs, amused. “Yeah, Zuko, I have ‘romantic feelings’ for you.”

Zuko blinks again. He’s blinking too much. “So all this time… it was real… when you said… and that time you also said… and… oh.”

Sokka smiles, softly, and ruffles Zuko’s hair. It makes him blush. His heart might also not even work at this point, if it wasn’t for the fact that he can clearly hear it thundering in his ears.

Why is Sokka so calm? Zuko’s about to pass out.

“Katara is right, I’m dumb.”

Sokka grins. “Toph thinks so, too.”

“Toph thinks everyone is dumb.”

“Fair,” Sokka answers; he’s still grinning so wide. God, Sokka is so pretty. “Though I think she only calls us dumb, not that she means it.”

“Mmm.”

He’s so unfairly distracting, too. Zuko can’t stop looking at him.

“Wait,” He says, suddenly realizing something, “so you knew that I—that I—had feelings for you, too?”

Sokka looks at his lips when he talks, and Zuko has to concentrate hard to not straight up pass out from shock and his heart racing so fast it might give him an attack. Has he done that before? He would have noticed, right? Sure, Zuko looks at Sokka’s lips a lot instead than at his eyes, but he would have noticed if Sokka did it, too.

… Right?

He’s starting to feel dizzy. Is he dreaming? Is any of this real at all?

“Noticed it a while ago, yeah. That’s why I’m not freaking out that you noticed my flirting 100 years later.”

For a moment, Zuko is able to set aside  his internal emotional turmoil and state of panic, if only to complain.

“Hey!” He frowns. “Wait—”

“You have said that a lot.”

“Wait,” Zuko repeats, just to be annoying, “if you… liked me, and knew that I liked you back, why didn’t you… make a move?”

“Like asking you out? I tried to, but you’re too oblivious.”

“Huh?” Zuko utters. What does that even mean? He’s not—well, he is, maybe, just a bit, but. “Well, if you knew that, you could have been more straightforward, you know!”

Sokka smiles, then shrugs.

“I guess we’re both dumb.”

Zuko feels his lips curling up, not able to contain all his happiness anymore, his brain catching up with the last 20 minutes of his life.

Holy shit, Sokka likes him. Sokka likes him. Him. Zuko. As in, romantically speaking.

Oh.

Oh.

“I like you, Zuko.” Sokka says, as if Zuko’s brain didn’t shut down already. He reaches out and slides his hand on the table Zuko was previously working, the tip of his fingers touching Zuko’s. “So can I finally, please hold your hand?”

Zuko might pass out for real, but before that, he finally, finally, finally takes Sokka’s hand into his own.

It feels even better than in his dreams.

He feels like burning up, like all of his body is setting itself on fire.

Sokka’s hand is warm, so warm, and soft, so soft, and makes Zuko’s heart flutter like delicate flower’s petals in the wind.

Sokka’s thumb brushes over his knuckles; Sokka’s lips turn into a bright smile, like he’s been wanting to do that since forever.

It feels like home.

.

.

When they tell their friends they’re dating, Yue is the first one to say something.

“You mean you weren’t dating before?”

“Shocking, right,” Katara deadpans, but then she smiles, genuine. “I’m happy for both of you.” 

(Although remembering that minutes later doesn’t make her any less scary, when she decides to corner him out of the bathroom and put a steady hand on his shoulder, feign-sweet smile on her face, and say with a weirdly off-calm voice that, if he ever dared to hurt Sokka on purpose, she was going to break all the 206 bones on his body.)

Toph grins brightly and kicks him enthusiastically on the side with a loud “Well-done, loser!” while Aang jumps on Zuko’s back and clings to him like a koala.

“That’s awesome, guys! Be happy!”

Zuko smiles.

“Finally, I won’t have to hear Sokka’s pinning all the time,” Suki quips, like she’s tired and utterly uninterested, but even the happiness is evident in her voice.

Sokka still complains. “Hey! I had to hear you be head-over-heels for Yue for months, too.”

“It wasn’t months for you, though.” Suki deadpans, but then her face goes all soft, “I’m kidding, So, I’m really happy for you two.”

Sokka smiles, and she gets up from where she’s cuddling Yue on the sofa to hug Sokka tightly, grinning wide, and then look at Zuko (stumbling with a happily laughing Aang on his back and Toph annoyingly ruffling his hair like a proud little sister) and whispers something in Sokka’s ear.

Zuko is glad that he’s still looking at Sokka from the corner of his eye, because he catches him blushing after that.

He’s cute.

Suki laughs. Sokka frowns, still blushing, and when he catches Zuko watching, he blushes harder.

He’s really cute.

Zuko smiles softly, and Sokka blinks, once, twice, before smiling back.

The cutest.

.

.

“Zuko.”

Zuko hums, but doesn’t look up from his work.

“Zukoooo, darling, love of my life.”

Zuko is used to it by now. To Sokka calling him pet-names like those. Of hearing Sokka say he’s cute, or hot, or smart, or witty, or pretty. It still makes his heart flutter, though. Just as Sokka’s laugh does. It still makes him blush sometimes.

(It’s funny because Sokka is the same way—or mostly the same. Zuko said he looked really hot after a baseball game once and Sokka almost died on the spot. He blushed like mad, but after he calmed down, he couldn’t stop bragging about Zuko calling him ‘hot’.

“Look at you, flirting shamelessly with me! You’re all grown up!” and, “I shouldn’t be near Zuko if I’m wearing my baseball uniform, he’ll get a boner,” and a lot of more phrases.)

“Hm?”

“You are—” Sokka sing-songs, and crosses his arms over Zuko’s textbook. He puts his chin over his forearms and looks up at Zuko’s face, grinning, and Zuko would probably be a bit annoyed that he’s not letting him finish his essay if it weren’t for the fact that he’s Sokka. His, ahem, boyfriend. 

“I am…?”

“You are,” he repeats, and his smile grows bigger. Zuko thinks about kissing him; Zuko thinks about kissing him all the time. But, to be fair, he used to dream about that, just as much as he used to dream about them holding hands. And just as if he read Zuko’s mind, Sokka reaches out and holds his right hand; gently, like all of Sokka’s touches. It feels so nice, Zuko never wants to let go. “You are pulchritudinous.”

Eh?

Zuko tries to smile, but Sokka looks at him like he’s looking at a cute baby and throws his head back, still close and still holding his hand.

“You’re adorable.”

“What…?” Zuko is sure he looks as puzzled as he feels; he once caught his reflection in the mirror while playing Scrabble with Sokka and therefore knows how he must look. For some reason, Sokka finds it extremely cute. “What does that mean?”

Sokka laughs again.

Zuko narrows his eyes into slits. Or, maybe Sokka’s just making fun of him. (Not in a bad way, of course, Zuko knows. Sokka never means any harm, but he sure as hell loves teasing Zuko all the time.)

“Are you insulting me?”

Sokka wipes tears from his eyes and looks at Zuko with such a sweet face that it kinda makes Zuko stumble, even when he’s sitting.

His heart flutters alive, his face grows warm. He wants to kiss Sokka.

Sokka does, though, pulling gently at his hand and softly pressing his lips into Zuko’s wrist. He grins up at him.

“You’re adorable.”

(Later, when he’s waiting for a toast on Uncle Iroh’s kitchen, still barefoot, decked out in his pajamas and half-asleep, he finally finds what he thinks is the correct word using the search function of his phone—after 20 lame attempts of trying and failing at remembering—and pronouncing correctly—the right word.

He clicks on the dictionary tab, reads over the meaning, stumbles over, slips and falls flat on his ass.

He almost sets his kitchen on fire for the second time.)

.

.

Zuko is bad at flirting. He knows. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try, hard, and sometimes, sometimes, he succeeds (conscious and unconsciously).

Or maybe Sokka is just too easy to fluster (even when Sokka says it’s the other way around; even when that’s actually, probably, just a bit, true.)

Either way, Zuko basks happily in seeing Sokka get all flustered. It makes him even cuter than he already is.

(Whipped, Toph would draw out, mockingly sing-song.

And, well, maybe he is.)

.

.

Kissing Sokka is like setting himself on fire. Like burning up alive, but not in the bad sense. Not in the way he was burned as a little kid.

Kissing Sokka is like sitting near a campfire when you’re feeling cold; like standing on the edge of a cliff, feeling your chest contract; like tucking yourself in a warm blanket, with fuzzy socks and drinking your favorite drink, while hearing your favorite song. It’s like waking up on a good day, like basking in the sun at twilight, like taking a warm shower after a long day.

He feels too much, way too overwhelmed, even with just a brush of lips.

Kissing Sokka is a blessed thing.

There’s something that comes alive in his chest at the same time their lips touch. It blossoms under his ribcage, spreads over his chest, warms up all the way up to his throat. Beating, growing, marveling in every fiber of his being. Maybe that’s what love is—maybe that’s what Zuko has been searching for all this time; this connection, this overwhelming feeling, this deep, raw, unfiltered emotion, coming off him through waves of desperation for more.

He can’t be sure. But even if it wasn’t something he has looked out for, the discovery of it still feels like a sacred thing.

It’s like watching cherry blossoms falling on the street for the first time, like falling asleep on the comfortable side of your bed after a tiring day, it’s coming back home—or to what home should feel like.

It’s something delicate, at first. Zuko doesn’t have any experience, so he just lets himself feel as Sokka presses his lips softly into his own, carding his long fingers into Zuko’s hair.

Zuko feels an electric chill run down his spine, where Sokka’s fingertips—from the hand that’s not on his hair—make a slow path down. He can feel them burning, even through his clothes, even when Sokka’s hand is not that warm.

But it feels like that.

Zuko breathes shakily, moves his lips experimentally, feeling Sokka’s smile against his mouth.

He wants to do something, so he leans in, feeling Sokka’s eyelashes tickling his cheekbones, feeling Sokka’s thumb under his jaw, angling his head in a better position, feeling himself become aflame. He wants to touch Sokka. He really wants to touch Sokka.

So he does.

He uses one hand to gently touch Sokka’s wrist—the one Sokka’s using to keep Zuko’s head up—and, carefully, tentatively, he wraps his fingers around it, caresses the skin like he wants to print a topographic map of it into his mind.

Sokka makes a low, appreciative sound, and Zuko feels so happy it should be embarrassing.

Sokka has his hair down, and Zuko wants to touch it so much because he loves Sokka’s hair. Sokka’s hair is so pretty—Sokka is so pretty—so he goes for it. He brushes his fingers on Sokka’s shoulder, touches the strands of brown hair that lie there, moves his fingers to the nape of his neck. Zuko does this slowly, he wants to feel everything and he’s not going to rush, not after how long he’s wanted this.

He cradles his head with his hand, touches and touches and touches. He pulls at his hair, lightly, and his hand goes down just a bit; the skin of Sokka’s neck under his fingertips is warm, and so soft. He can feel the gentle echo of his heartbeat thundering in the tender curve of his jaw.

Just then, Sokka’s thumb brushes on his bare clavicle, and Zuko hisses, feeling like he’s on fire. Feeling like he’s become burning embers.

It’s just—too much, and at the same time, not enough—he wants more.

He has always been sensitive, but it’s different now. It’s like all his senses are turned on—he’s hyper-aware of everything around him—of Sokka’s hands, of Sokka’s steady, fast heartbeat under his open palm, of Sokka’s smell, of Sokka’s warm mouth, of Sokka’s soft skin, of the way Sokka keeps mumbling his name, softly against his lips or when he breaks apart to breath. He touches Sokka’s face, Sokka’s arms, Sokka’s neck; breathes his name into his own mouth, makes sure Sokka knows how much he wants this, how much he’s dreamed of this: of kissing him, of him kissing him back.

It feels too good to be even real—just as Sokka always makes him feel, even when they’re not kissing.

He might as well die there.

It wouldn’t be a bad way to go, though.

Linked, bare soul to bare soul, with the prettiest, smartest, kindest boy he’s ever met.

.

.

There’s something so tragically painful about falling in love, they say. But as he sees Sokka laughing in front of him because of some ridiculous joke Toph made, holding Zuko’s hand like it’s the most precious thing in the world, he can’t help but think that falling in love is anything but painful.

Sokka turns around, catches him staring and grins, playfully wiggling his eyebrows.

Zuko smiles, thinking just how much he loves Sokka, how much he loves his life, how much he loves his uncle, how much he loves his friends, how much he loves being alive, being there, curled up with Sokka on his couch, watching a stupid rom-com movie on Sokka’s cell-phone screen, sharing earphones with his boyfriend. Being there, in the house that he shares with his uncle—his real dad—in the house that he has come to call home. Being there, feeling safe in Sokka’s arms, with Toph hearing music on the TV, while Aang and Katara and Suki and Yue sleep, sprawled there and there all over his living-room.

“I love you,” Zuko tells Sokka, like he just revealed the biggest secret of the universe.

Love.

He feels the word on his tongue, and it tastes sweet. It tastes like the color of Sokka’s eyes, like the tone of Sokka’s laugh, like all of Sokka’s smiles—the gentle one, the soft one, the playful and flirty one, the wide one—all of them. Love tastes like Sokka holding his hand while they go for a walk, like Sokka’s voice when he talks about what he likes, like Sokka’s proud eyes after scoring a run, after Zuko shows him his grades. It tastes like a lot of things he can’t name, like the way Sokka says his name, like the way Sokka makes him feel, like that little mole under Sokka’s jaw, like the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles with the setting sun of the beach, like the way his fingertips feel against Zuko’s neck. Like the way he looks at Zuko like he’s not broken, like he’s the best thing that ever existed, like his scar is beautiful and all of Zuko’s failures don’t matter to him because he’s him, and that is enough. Like Zuko is more than enough, and how he loves that he’s more than enough to Zuko, too.  

“I love you,” Zuko says again, in a low voice, and it feels real. It has meaning. It’s not an empty word at all.

For some reason, he feels like tearing up a bit.

Sokka’s face mellows, softens; he brushes his thumb under Zuko’s left eye, just at the edge of his scar, and his eyes become impossibly warm. Zuko wants to kiss all of his face; he wants to taste all of Sokka’s softness on his own lips.

There, in the quiet of Zuko’s living-room, Sokka smiles, and Zuko thinks he’s the most bewitching, stunning, ineffably beautiful being.

It feels like something ethereal. Sokka smiles and Zuko feels blessed to exist.

“I love you, too,” Sokka answers, like he’s sharing one of the secrets of the universe, too, like he’s never told anyone anything more true, and ever so gentle.

Zuko smiles and kisses him.

Falling in love is a blessed thing.

[fanwright]

Gladiator: 200th Chapter Celebration

Tagging: @kigozula @seyaryminamoto

---

Seyary, this is a great milestone for you. Just want to let you know that I’m happy for you and impressed by the work that you have done over the long years of writing this story. You’ve inspired others to get into Sokkla as well as to have fun with the ship. Its been a great pleasure!

When I first picked up this story, I was still in college and rediscovering ATLA. Gladiator, as well as your other stories (which I recommend that others read as well) really cemented my liking for this ship. Years later, I’m still here, though all the ups and downs.

Now, despite me liking Gladiator a whole lot, I’ve admittedly fallen behind on catching up with it, chapter by chapter. That said, I do want to read it at my own pace and as I read more I still find myself loving the story, as there is much to enjoy. 

So, to that end, I’ll be commenting on the parts of the story I have been caught up with, Chapters 1 to 100. I hope that’s okay. 

---

1.) Favorite Character: Sokka

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t like Azula. Of course not. And choosing one over the other is such a hard call to make that I would rather have them both occupy the same spot. But I decided Sokka in this case for a number of reasons. Others have commented on Azula in their own posts, so I thought giving my reasons for Sokka seemed only fair. 

We’ve seen Sokka change a lot over the course of the story and I seeing him morph into the character he is now is such a stark contrast to the one we saw at the very beginning. He hated the Fire Nation and was unwilling to cooperate with Azula. And yet, after trial and error and harsh circumstance, we have seen become a great warrior in his own right and the closest companion Azula has ever had, being her secret lover. It has been such a treat seeing him change and adapt and grow in this story. And as someone who really does like him as much as Azula, it was (and still is) a thill to see him get an all-star treatment in a story. 

And yet there are lingering complexities within him in this story, as far as I have gotten in it. There is still that awareness within him of who he serves and what he is doing, along with a nagging feeling of inadequacy that has hounded him at every turn. Bit by bit, either by his own efforts or with a little help, he is clawing his way forward internally to find some reconciliation. And I find that very compelling. 

And also its fun to see him thrash gladiators.  

2.) Least Favorite Most Dreaded Character: Ozai

Well, that’s not true really. I don’t dislike any of the reoccurring characters actually. 

The best way to describe this particular choice is “Most Dreaded Character”. I chose Ozai for this one because I dread the moment in when he finds out Azula and Sokka’s little affair. Now, again, I’m only on Chapter 100, so things could have changed by now. Yet, I believe still that if Ozai finds about about all this... a lot is going to change for Azula, Sokka, and even the Fire Nation. He will be a consequential character in the chapters to come and dread to see the his wrath and what that will mean for everyone else. It will not be pretty.

3.) Favorite “Antagonist”: Toph

When I first picked up this story and saw Toph introduced as an adversary, I was hyped. Like, you have no idea how hyped and pumped up I was for them to brawl. And I was not disappointed. 

See, for me, Toph represented more than just a metaphorical torn in both Sokka’s and Azula’s side for a good chunk of this story. She is at times a very compelling mini-villain, as if she is straight out of a Disney movie. She loves what she does and enjoys it, and knows just how powerful she is. And flaunts it in spectacular display. She has such a simple yet understandable motivation and was a very real threat to Sokka’s own life in the very first fight they were in. And despite both Sokka and Toph eventually learning to respect and even befriend each other, there was always the nagging thought that they would eventually fight again, and each one knew they wanted to win that rematch. Toph provided Sokka and Azula a reoccurring adversary to strive toward beating. Even as other gladiators came and went, they always knew Toph would be their biggest obstacle. So much build up was focused on training for that eventuality. And all of it was compelling enough to paint Toph as this great rival to them. Her being a part-time ally in some cases and even being a friend didn’t really change that until after they had fought a second time. 

Its because of this that I now believe firmly that Toph should be used as an antagonist more, if a story needs one. She is just so fun and so good as villain that hope others come to use her as one in AUs. 

As I read more, I’m sure this might change in time. But, even with all the fights Sokka has had, I firmly maintain that Toph was his greatest adversary on many levels. 

4.) Favorite OC: Rui Shi

Honestly, I think this guy is a sprit animal to someone out there. He’s just a guard trying to do his job right and the person he protects consistently makes that job harder for him in the most ridiculous ways. “Oh great, my princess is in an affair with her Gladiator and that won’t stop fucking like rabbits. Joy.”

Honestly, this man needs a vacation. A long one. And Seyary hasn’t given it to him, because she likes to make his life hard. Rude. 

For the longest time, I actually thought Rui Shi was much older than he actually is in the story. So until a picture of him was finally made, I pictured him as a 40 year old veteran with a graying mustache and beard. Even with how he actually looks, I wouldn’t be surprised if his job made him grow gray hair from all the stress. 

Good OC, one of a few I like.

5.) Favorite Suitor: Zhao

Should probably be no surprise. Where I am at right now, he’s essentially the suitor to beat as well as having the ultimate Gladiator for Sokka and Azula to defeat. Azula even admired him at some point. Though that has changed, I feel that Zhao has his eyes set on courting Azula further. Its a move that Ozai would likely not object to, provided Zhao pulls off something grand to earn that honor. And although every suitor has made Sokka angry, I feel Zhao would anger him on a deeper level as his interest in Azula grows. 

I look forward to seeing him more.

6.) Favorite Gladiator(s): Jet and Suki (For Chapters 1-100)

Jet being a brainwashed Gladiator highlighted a dark aspect to the games. He was also a brutal berserker when in the ring and one of Sokka’s most bitter adversaries. Suki to me was an interesting contrast to Sokka his situation with Azula. She was to me a kind of noble gladiator, an Amazon in the ring put gentle when out of it. Putting the canon characters in as Gladiators was always a treat for me and actually lends itself to some world-building.

7.) Favorite Gladiator-Canon Pairing: Sokka/Azula

This should not be a surprise :P 

I could go on and on about it, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll keep things short. This should not be surprise because the driving force and the very soul of this entire story is about a warrior-princess falling in love with a tribal gladiator. Their differences and how they reconcile them, their fears and pain, their passion and drive, all propel this story forward. Things have changed in this story because of them and they themselves have changed because fate brought them together.

If that isn’t enough to make them my favorite, then I’m sorry I don’t know what else to say to convince you XD 

8.) Favorite Arc(s): Rough Rhinos Arcs

Two arcs hit me hard on an emotional level - The end of the introductory arc and the Rough Rhino’s arc. They literally crawl out of quagmire, find a dragon in the process, and have one of the most touching and sincere heart-to-hearts in the story thus far. It was one of my favorite arcs to read and the emotional stakes were high. As I read more and continue, this might change, but for now I maintain this is one of my favorite arcs.

9.) Favorite Places/Locations: To Be Determine

This is the down side of having to catch up. There are a lot of locations in the story and in the ATLA universe that I like, and its always a hard choice for me to decide. I am a big fan of settings for a story and when I find a setting I like I usually latch onto it in all its locations. So for now, I will not decide on a solid choice.

... however, in any AU it might show up in, Bs Sing Se is my first choice by biased default. I just love that city and I always appreciate when a story fleshes it out in little ways. Gladiator being set for a fraction of its time in the city was great for me as I got to read more about the city I like so much. 

10.) I wish to see Sokkla in...: More tender, couple-like moments

Surprising, I know. But I what I mean is this - moments where they refrain from arguing, don’t bicker, and just enjoy being around each other, doing small things together. And its hard for them, they have to train they, have to keep their relationship a secret, they can only be a true couple for fleeting moments because of how dangerous and vulnerable it will leave them. And it claws at my heart every time. So I cherish the moments they have when they can be themselves around one another, fleeting as they sometimes are. 

11.) I believe Sokka and Azula’s relationship will be revealed when/like/because of...:

... when they get careless. When they feel that they are safe in their secrecy, complacaent in their routines for keeping their relationship hidden, that’s when it will be revealed. Its a kind of Hubris of sorts. 

And when its revealed, it will lead to something bad and irreversible for the both of them. You can only hide something like this for so long. Even historical royal affairs were never as secret as theirs. And they have taken painful precautions to keep it all under wraps. 

So when it finally does, it will change everything. And that’s going to be quite the wild ride.

12.) I believe at the end of Part 3...:

... that a sacrifice will be made. A death or a relinquishment of something. Sokka and Azula will be together, but something will have to be given up, and it will test them for the final time. 

I can’t say what it will be, but I’m going to enjoy finding out.

[raexxbb]

Critic of Cartoons (SPOILERS!)

KyI figured I would begin doing on here what I do in my life. Rate a cartoon 10 out of 0 (-10 being highest/best and zero being the worst of the worst nonsense-) while telling my thoughts as to why. The third one is older and full of adventure with tales beyond what’s expected. Now on Netflix:

9 -Avatar: the Last Airbender

This may get a bit long ‘cause I want to bring each character justice. I love this show so much. I only deducted one point for the smallest of reasons otherwise it probably would have gotten a ten.

There’s a strong love-hate relationship with this show. All of the characters are incredible in there own unique way. My only issue is with the fact that the ‘hero gets the girl’ and does so by being whiny. It’s such a cliche and literally the only reason this show has a nine. The romantic element has a strong scale to hold but this show does a poor job of holding it up. Aang is fine, and I love Katara just not them romantically. Aang’s crush on her right away just rubbed me weird. I guess, it’s fine to crush on a pretty girl but to push the crush so much until she feels the same way... Katara had multiple boyfriends along the show and didn’t show much interest in Aang other then as a friend. So, them romantically together I never saw it being as Aang also pushes the chemistry. That’s it, my only issue is there in that relationship. Alone every character is very well thought out and placed in such a particular situation it makes them each perfect.

This forced kiss is the most disgusting moment in the entire show. He pushes this on her right after she says she’s confused and doesn’t know her feelings towards anyone. He’s just being childish (yes, I register he’s twelve) but if you want an adult relationship this is the wrong way to go about it. I don’t see why Katara would ever consider moving into a romantic relationship after this. Pushy is such a red-flag for me. Maybe I’m the only one that feels this way but it just outright infuriates me. Just look at how uncomfortable she looks during this moment.

Another thing I’d like to bring to light is the fact that Aang maybe a bit sexiest. I state this lightly ‘cause of the play episode in the third season. The thought came to be while reviewing Korra. Katara fights against sexism and to empower women. However, Aang became overly insulted when a woman was acting as him in the Ember Island play. Toph loved the idea of a guy playing her, but Aang just couldn’t get over his part being played by a female cast member. It is rude. Yes, everyone knows he still isn’t a girl but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t doing a decent job representing him. The fact that Katara still enters into a relationship just makes me feel like she’s going against something she stood so strongly for. 

People may believe it’s because I favor Zuko and Katara but it isn’t that. Honestly, I’m no longer sure I like them as a couple anymore either. They have cute moments. There are just so many issues among all of the romantic relationships. Somehow, I found myself wishing it revolved more around friendship ‘cause the romance in this show wasn’t handled well at all.

The only reason I’d ever argue for Katara and Zuko to be a couple is because of the ending where he saves her life from Azula. I mean, yes, he put her in danger quite a few times but he was slowly redeeming himself throughout all of that. This wasn’t the only time he saved her and tried to give his life for hers. Throughout the third season of him trying to redeem himself, he tried the hardest with Katara because he had already betrayed her trust once. 

Although, I’m still not saying they would’ve been the best couple either. Let’s not forget: they’re young -teenagers and children. If someone has found their soulmate already, good for them. It’s just abnormal and I’m trying to look at these relationships with a bit of a more realistic thought process. 

There are a few times this show has been about friendship:

Toph was once worried about their friendships, however, one line from Roku gave her confidence and soothed her completely.

“Some friendships are so strong, they can even transcend lifetimes.” -Avatar Roku

Really love this quote from Roku~ 

Zuko’s redemption ark was beyond the best point in the show and had me balling the entire time, every time I’ve watched it gets my heart throbbing for this boy! What if his mother had taken him with her? His life would’ve been so different and probably a lot better! The scar would be gone. No father abuse for him! Of course, without him the Fire Nation would be even worse then it ever was.

“It was to teach you respect!” -Ozai

“It was cruel! And it was wrong!” -Zuko

“Then you’ve learned nothing!” -Ozai

“NO! I’ve learned everything! And, I’ve had to do it on my own.” -Zuko

That conversation with his father, where he finally stands up to such a horrible man was beyond astonishing. Especially seeing as it seemed like something Zuko would never do. 

Although, Iroh new all along that Zuko is great.

“Then would you come and take your rightful place on the throne?” -Zuko

“No. Someone new much take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko.” -Iroh

Uncle has always believed in his nephew. That he would be the one to take the Fire Nation and bring balance to the world. They’re the best relationship in this show once Zuko stops being so angry.

Of course, there’s also the Mai of it all. 

They’re occasionally good for each other. Their relationship is highly problematic. Mai is an awesome character alone, standing up to Azula when she’s terrified of her is great! However, Zuko and her argue nonstop and have an on-off dating history. It can be tiresome to watch. There just wasn’t any chemistry between them that I felt.

The only thing that I love about them is the prison scene. (Which could’ve been a friendship scene.)

Even when Zuko locks her away she chooses him. That is when I thought perhaps their relationship isn’t terrible. She still chooses him afterwards. Their behavior before is erratic and not that of a good relationship. Mai alone wouldn’t have been a trouble thing. Honestly, I relate to Mai as a gayer character then straight.

Although, that leads me to think about Azula, the girl of evil.

“My own mother, thought I was a monster...” -Azula

She’s only fourteen and she’s been raised by an abusive mad man. The entire background just makes me wish someone had tried to love her instead of shown her hatred. Her mother feared her, didn’t even say good-bye. Her brother had to fight her in order to save her from herself and father. 

The thing that made her truly snap was her friends (only ‘cause they fear her) betray her. The last people she had on her side! She just needed love as Zuko did. It would probably take her years to recover from the madness just as it took Zuko. She needs love and help. Who was going to give it to her after the third season? 

In the graphic novels, it’s revealed Zuko has her in a special insane asylum trying to give her the mental help she needs. But, she still seems tense and full of rage. It would’ve been nice to see further into that department of the Fire Nation.

These two are both extremely important. Their bond throughout the entire story is amazing. Him becoming his teacher was his true redemption, true honor came from that act. Of course, he learned so much from hunting Aang and trying to kill him as well.

Above all else, Uncle Iroh (-Zuko’s true father-) is definitely my favorite of all the characters. He’s just so warm and always does the right thing. He waited for Zuko when he went down the wrong path continuously knowing Zuko would realize his mistakes.

The White Lotus is one of the greatest things about this show.

“Don’t you know? All old people know each other?” -King Bumi

He’s just so hilarious and random. All of the great masters together in a secret society despite their nation’s differences is the most grandest thing.

Of course, another favorite is Appa.

The episode portraying animal abuse is heartwrenching. Him being taken from the ones that love and protect him only to be beaten and abused. This show goes beyond any other show in displaying all the different types of abuse in the world- emotional, physical... And it covers even more than this.

Another piece of me would’ve been interested in seeing if Aang had died and a water Avatar born to be the last Airbender. *Cough, cough* Maybe Katara? She is the most powerful bender in the show after all.

“I will never ever turn my back on people who need me!” -Katara

Perhaps instead of killing Aang off, just have them be wrong that he’s the Avatar and so whoever was actually got killed during the air temple raid. Causing the line to move on to water. Aang could’ve been trapped in an iceberg to be able to teach Katara air. Of course, that may not work if he weren’t able to waterbend and freeze a bubble around him. But, there’s definitely an air pocket in there. 

It is one of the most beautiful cartoons ever created. Besides the fact I never really enjoyed Aang as the main character. All of the others are just so much more interesting then him, in my opinion.

Toph is one of the many characters I didn’t discuss. That fact just is that Toph is beyond incredible. She is the character that is ahead of her time. She proves that being disabled doesn’t mean she a person that’ll stop trying.That’s all, her blindness doesn’t work against her. Instead it works for her giving her a stronger way to see the world.

I’ll be doing Avatar: Legend of Korra at a later time. Trying to make sure I go back and re-watch everything to properly review it.

I really wish they would go back and create a show called Avatars about all of the past lives. Maybe 2/3 episodes to display each of them. There are hundreds and I’m curious to know more about them. I’d love to see Kyoshi as a badass teenager.

[gloves94]

Sunburn [Prince Zuko] 28

Warnings:   Rating: PG-13   Pairings: Zuko/OC   Summary:   “You have everything you’ve always wanted.” “No.” He said softly. “Not everything…”  His golden eyes looked at her with a melting intensity she had never witnessed before. “I guess not.” She responded with glassy eyes as tears welled up threatening to break the dam of her eyes.

My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T

"Just where do you think you're coming from?" Katara was waiting awake with her arms crossed in the middle of the courtyard. Her angry eyes glared at the younger girl.

"I went to see Zuko," she sighed growing annoyed.

"Her I understand!" Katara glared at Tsai who was just about to walk into the courtyard. "But you?"

"Nice to see you too," the red head muttered sarcastically under her breath before stalking over to her sleeping bag.

"I just wanted to talk to him. I think he can be helpful to us. So, we talked, I think maybe we could work something out. He really is willing to do anything to join our group." Toph explained bored.

"Andthem?" Katara narrowed her eyes to the Fire Nation girl who was laying down to bed. "What were they doing?"

Toph felt the nausea creeping up her esophagus at the sappy duo. "Ugh, don't remind me."

Xxx

"Wake up!"

Tsai opened her eyes and they immediately composed into a deep scowl. That voice. "Wake up!" Katara repeated again. "It's bad enough your snoring didn't let any of us sleep last night." She hissed both hands on her hips as she looked down at the girl. Talk about a rude awakening.

"What could possibly be so urgent?" She spoke through gritted teeth rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"What are you and Zuko plotting?" She sneered still glaring.

"What are you talking about?" The girl sat up.

"I know you're up to something," Katara warned menacingly.

"I just woke up. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about?" She said groggily as she stood up.

"Oh yeah? What is this then!" Katara pulled a paper from her back. It was a note with some writings in it.

"'Tsai, pretend like you are their friend and infiltrate them. Let them let their guard down. ThenIwill attack when the time is right. - Zuko'" She read the note.

"What?" The other retorted. Let me see what, she wanted to snatch it out of her hands.

"Tsai is that true?" Asked Aang sounding hurt as he stood next to Katara.

"I have never seen that note in my life!" She said eyes wide.

"Then why was it in your stuff? Katara challenged with a slight smirk. "You were looking through my stuff?" The girl roared. "Only because I suspected something was wrong and of course I was right!" She clenched the note in her fists.

"That is not mine," she shook her head. "First of all, why would he give me a note if I literally had a conversation with him last night? Second that's not even his handwriting and third if he had actually written that he would've said"We"not "I""She said sternly both fists clenched at her sides angrily.

"Zuko is still clearly dangerous." Sokka stated without second guessing his sister as he pulled out his boomerang ready to go after a rumble "We're gonna have to go after him."

"You're right Sokka." Aang agreed with a disappointed shake of his head, "After this, I don't think we have a choice."

Tsai's mouth opened as she looked at the three of them in aghast in disbelief.

"Zuko's crafty, but we'll find a way to capture him."

"She's telling the truth." Toph suddenly said. "She has no idea about the note."

Both Aang and Sokka looked at her confused. "Then why is the note here?"

"It really doesn't make any sense," Toph said. "I saw them together last night. There was no conspiration or any of that. I don't understand why they would exchange notes."

"We should invite him back here. Whack him and take him as our prisoner!" Sokka said smashing his first into his palm.

"Stop! You all are insane!" The red head roared in frustration.

Suddenly, the ledge above the fountain exploded. Katara gasped and swung her arms, bringing the water from the fountain up to shield the group from the falling rocks. Tsai, Sokka and Aang and Toph quickly retreated, but stopped when they heard Zuko's voice.

"Stop! I don't want you hunting the Avatar anymore."

Zuko ran towards a massive muscular man he looked like a bounty hunter. He was standing in front of him with his arms spread out to keep him from attacking them.

"The mission is off!" Zuko shouted at the man, further shocking the group by the fountain, "I'm ordering you to stop!"

"It's Combustion man!" Sokka said.

Combustion Man shoved him to the side and fired another blast from a third eye in the center of his forehead. The blast hit the top of the fountain destroying it. Aang, Sokka, Katara, Tsai and Toph ducked behind the fountain's edge and covered their heads from any incoming debris.

She looked up just in time to see Zuko rush towards Combustion Man with his hand pulled back and covered in flames.

Zuko charged towards the Fire Nation assassin with his flame-covered fist pulled back, "If you keep attacking, I won't pay you!" He shouted as he ran.

Combustion Man didn't even glance at him as he grabbed the prince by the shirt. Zuko grunted and threw the fireball in his hand but missed. He struggled against the assassin's grip on his shirt, "Alright! I'll pay you double to stop!" He quickly swung his arms down, finally breaking Combustion Man's grip.

Zuko turned on his heel and slammed his foot into the assassin's gut just as Combustion man fired another shot, knocking his aim off and pushing Zuko away with the force of the kick.

Aang peered over the edge of the fountain and stared at the incoming shot with fright the blast hit the pagoda below the fountain, destroying it.

"We have to help him!" Tsai looked at the group who had no reaction to her words. She looked at the man with determination and leaped off from her hiding spot running towards them.

Zuko grunted as he landed on in a crouch and he whirled around when he heard the assassin step towards him, staring at him in shock. He lurched to his feet and turned fully, creating a shield of fire in front of him just as Combustion Man fired a blast at him.

The blast hit the shield and exploded, pushing Zuko across the ground and over the edge of the platform where he vanished. Combustion man was approaching the group walking across a thick cloud of dust and debris ready to terminate them with an explosive blow when he felt a hard blow to the back of his head. It was then that the dust cleared. He winced and snapped his head to the side to see a teenage girl with red hair bouncing a medium sized rock in her hand.

"Hey!" She called as she threw a second rock at him this one hitting him on his temple. The man's head moved back an inch and he glared at her seething. A string of blood ran down his temple. "Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" She shouted out a teasing laugh. A smug expression on her face. As she threatened the man from a safe distance.

The man then looked at her furiously.

"Woah!" She said as she was barely able to dodge one of the man's sudden blasts.

"Uh-Oh.." She said as she saw him angrily leap from across one ledge to the other.

Aang leapt to his feet and ran towards the edge of the courtyard, executing a quick spinning back kick that kicked up the dust around him and jumping straight up just in time to whip a whirlwind of air that made the man stumble on his stance. The man turned his attention to the Avatar who avoided a blast as he spun in mid-air and airbended a mini-tornado then kicked it directly at him.

Combustion Man leapt over the tornado and fired another blast at Aang as he descended.

Aang grabbed Tsai by one of her sleeves and hurriedly rushed over to their friends, all of them watching as Combustion Man slowed his fall by catching a small ledge with his clawed, metal hand. He landed on another ledge and rolled forward, launching another blast at the five friends a moment later.

They tried everything against this man earthbending, waterbending icicles which he simply shook off his body. It was useless.

"What is that thing?" She panted heavily with her back pressed against a large pillar where the five of them were hiding behind. She flinched when a pillar a few feet from them exploded and she turned her head away from the explosion.

"Combustion Man," Sokka repeated simply stating the facts.

Katara peeked out from behind the pillar and recoiled quickly when another blast struck the ground, exploding mere feet from them. She shook her head slightly, "I can't step out to waterbend at him without getting blown up! And I can't get a good enough angle on him from down here."

Sokka paused and thought furiously then he grinned, "I know how to get an angle on him!"

He gently pushed Katara aside and pulled out his boomerang, pressing his back against the pillar. He peeked out from behind the pillar just as another blast caused the ground the explode a little bit a ways. Sokka furrowed his brow in determination and the pillar again as smoke billowed passed him then he watched as two more blasts of energy shot out from behind another stone pillar and hit the ground in a loud explosion.

Sokka raised his boomerang towards the source of the blasts and mentally calculated the blasts' trajectory.

'There is no way in hell that's going to work…'

He smirked when he figured out the right angle and pulled his boomerang back, "Alright buddy, don't fail me now." He threw the boomerang forcefully and watched with his sister and friends as it flew through the air and curved behind a stone pillar.

Standing on a different platform, Combustion Man inhaled deeply and prepared to fire another blast when a sound reached his ears. He turned towards the sound and the boomerang hit him in the middle of the forehead. He grunted and stumbled back, falling to the ground.

Sokka cheered and darted out from behind the pillar with a triumphant grin with the other following him. His boomerang flew back towards him and he jumped, catching it happily, "Yeah, boomerang!"

He and Katara looked up with wide grins that quickly turned to frowns when they saw Combustion Man struggling back to his feet, his hand to his forehead. Sokka looked down at his boomerang disappointedly, "Aww, boomerang..." Sokka said sadly as the group began to run away collectively.

Combustion Man growled silently as he swayed slightly on his feet. He turned towards the fountain courtyard and reared his head back, his vision blurring. He inhaled deeply and tried to fire another blast of energy, but sparks began to fly from his forehead then a small explosion erupted from his head. The assassin put his hand to his forehead.

A massive explosion filled the air and she peered around the pillar, gawking as the pagoda Combustion Man had been standing on fell into the misty chasm below the temple. A glint of light among the falling debris and smoke caught her eye and she watched as the assassin's metal arm flew through the air, landing at the edge of the courtyard with a clang. Behind the group, Teo and Haru peeked out from behind a pillar with perplexed expression while the Duke poked his head out and stared in awe.

"I can't believe that actually worked!" She looked at Sokka with awe. "I can't believe you took out that thing with a boomerang."

Sokka smiled smugly, "Never underestimate the boomerang," he said cockily.

It was then that a sound made them all turn their attention to the upper platform. Zuko was currently hanging on to a vine climbing back to safety. It took him a couple of moments before he approached the group which was waiting for him.

"I can't believe I'm saying this..." Aang commented as he lifted his head and stared at Zuko gratefully, "But, thanks Zuko."

"Hey," Sokka whined slightly and gestured with his arms, "And what about me? I did the boomerang thing."

Honestly Sokka deserved an award.

Zuko stopped a few feet from the group, "Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday. I've been through a lot in the past few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor," He bowed his head slightly and closed his eyes for a moment, "And that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right."

"All I want now is to play my part in ending this war." Zuko said sincerely and he stared at Aang with an earnest expression, "And I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world."

Aang stared back at Zuko for a moment and his expression softened.

"I'm sorry for everything I have done to you all." He bowed lowly to her then straightened, "You must master fire before you can face my father. Fire can be dangerous and wild. So as a Firebender, I promise we will be careful and control our bending well so nobody gets hurt unintentionally."

Aang blinked in surprise and he stared at Zuko in realization. He looked over his shoulder at Tsai who looked her heart was melting. A small smile on her face as she looked at the prince with a dazed love-struck look. Aang cringed a little at this his eyes averted to the ground intently for a moment then turned his gaze back to Zuko.

"I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher." He said and he took a few steps forward, "When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara. After that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people to love." He walked up to Zuko and bowed, "I'd like you to teach me."

Zuko smiled warmly and bowed back to the young Airbender, "Thank you. I'm so glad you've accepted me into your group."

"Not so fast. I still have to ask my friends if it's okay with them." Aang said. "Also, what about the note?"

"What note?" Zuko responded just as confused. Sokka who was standing next to Katara took it from her belt and read it out loud.

"Did you write this? Or did you not?" Sokka said accusingly.

"I didn't write that," he said after a moment.

"He-He's telling the truth as well," Toph said surprised. The group exchanged a confused look between them. And then it all clicked.

"I know who wrote the note," Tsai suddenly said her teeth clenching in rage. "Who else can't even stand the sight of me? Next time try putting a little more effort into your little ploy Katara!" She stomped over to Sokka and snatched the note from his hands tearing it in half dramatically tossing the papers over her head.

"Katara wouldn't do that!" Aang said defensively. He looked at then hesitated. "She wouldn't… Right?" He looked at her with questioning eyes.

All eyes were now on Katara, guilty as charged.

"Fine," she admitted bitterly. "It was me."

"Why?" Aang asked more hurt than either Fire Nationer in their presence.

"I can't stand the sight of ONE Fire Nationer in my presence. I don't know what I'll do with TWO."

"Boo-hoo! Cry me a river!" The red head rolled her eyes. "You know what why we don’t solve things the old way?" Tsai began cracking her knuckles. "Hand to hand?"

"No," Zuko suddenly said. He placed a hand over Tsai's balled fist and lowered it. "No more fighting. This has to stop. If we want to defeat my father. We have to work together. Put all of our prejudices behind." He spoke wisely.

She looked at him almost in awe. When had he become so wise? How much had he actually grown during all of this and why did he suddenly look a thousand times more attractive? Embarrassed the girl lowered her hands and tugged them behind her back.

"He's right." Aang suddenly spoke. "We all have to work together. Like it or not. What do you guys think?" He turned to look at Toph first.

She simply shrugged tugging her hands behind her neck casually. "Fine by me," she said. "Go ahead and let him join," she grinned.

"Sokka?"

"Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord." Sokka replied with a dismissive shrug after a moment of thought, "If you think this is the way to do it, then, I'm all for it."

Aang nodded and approached Katara cautiously. He was so disappointed in her for doing what she had done. "Katara?"

The Waterbender glared at Zuko for a moment and then her eyes bounced to Tsai who was still glaring at her. Then answered reluctantly, "I'll go along with whatever you think is right."

Aang smiled weakly at her then turned to face the girl from the colonies who stood next to the prince. "Tsai? I have to ask." He asked even though he had a feeling he already knew what her response would be.

"I think we should look for another teacher. Maybe a better looking one," she laughed slightly an edge of flirtation to her voice.

"I won't let you down." Zuko said excitedly as he took a few steps towards the group, "I promise."

All the other stood up swiftly and quickly dispersed as well. Leaving Zuko and Tsai alone in the ruined courtyard. She turned away walking away just the same but stopped halfway and turned to face him. He smiled at her slightly. She hesitated if to engage with him or not.

She shouldn’t give him half the time of day but after that stunt he pulled. There was something ardent about the diplomacy and leadership she had just witnessed.

"Don't worry they'll warm up to you," the eternal optimist said kindly. "I am so proud of you!" She turned approached him with a sly smile. "I gotta say, I'm really impressed."

"R-Really?" He beamed and then proceeded to hate himself for stuttering.

"I know Uncle would be too!" She said her smile matching his own. "Come on, I’ll get some tea ready," she nodded her head towards the center of the courtyard both of her hands held behind her back as she lead the way.

Xxx

"So here you go," Sokka drawled uncomfortably after leading Zuko to one of the rooms in the temple. He gestured towards the inside of the room and Zuko walked inside, "Home sweet home, I guess. You know, for now. Unpack...lunch soon." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Uh...welcome aboard?"

Zuko turned towards him and smiled slightly. Sokka returned the smile awkwardly and shuffled out of the room. He walked over to where Aang was leaning against a pillar a little bit a way from the room, "Yeah, okay, this is really, really weird."

Aang smiled in amusement and the two walked away, heading back to the courtyard for lunch.

Zuko sat on the bed in the room and rummaged through his pack, pulling out the small portrait of his uncle. He stared down at the painting for a moment then closed his eyes.

With his eyes still closed, Zuko smiled down at the painting in his hand, nodding his head in agreement. A soft scuffling sound caused him to snap his eyes open in alarm and he turned his head towards the door, staring in surprise at Katara leaning against the door frame.

He stood up and faced her, opening his mouth to say something but she cut him off.

"You might have everyone else here buying your 'transformation'." She spat venomously as she glared at him, "But you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past." She stalked over to Zuko and leaned towards him threateningly, "So let me tell you something right now. You make one step backwards, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang...and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore."

"Because I'll make sure your destiny ends, right there."

xxx

AN: Phew, alright, nothing too exciting happened in this chapter. (I'll admit it was part of the other one but it was waayyyyy too long so I split it into 2.)  We are nearing the end of our story and I've been writing some chapters ahead but boy are they long. So I think we have 5-6 more to go (since I'm splitting them in half ) before we reach our conclusion.

As always thank you so much for reading and all the love and support. - x G

xxx

FIRST https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/621142853126602752/sunburn-prince-zuko-1

NEXT https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/622058111285493760/sunburn-prince-zuko-29

PREV https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/621850624608419840/sunburn-prince-zuko-27

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

[don-quixotine]

I can’t believe I’m posting ATLA headcanons in this 2020 year of our lord, but alas I can’t say I’m complaining

SO. You can’t jump into a bandwagon that YOU NEVER REALLY LEFT, YA LILY LIVERS! I am so absolutely happy that ATLA is finally getting all the love and recognition it deserves and so of course it didn’t take much to pull me back into the hype. I’m not really writing as much these days, but to honor ATLA as the very first fandom I ever wrote for, here are some fanfic plot ideas that have been nagging me and that I wanted to share:

Aang challenges his masters to an airbending-like training session The setting is right after the end of the war and the announcement of the Harmony Restoration Movement, and the gaang decides to take a well-deserved vacation to visit some of their favorite spots during their adventure. One of the destinations is the Western Air Temple and one night they’re just goofin’ around as usual, and Toph says she doesn’t think airbending workouts are hard. Zuko agrees, if only just to tease Aang. He doesn’t burst but he gets annoyed and challenges all his former sifus (yes, including Katara because “hon why didn’t you defend me from the start? rude :c “) to complete an airbending training session. He completely OBLITERATES them. “What do you mean you can’t complete a 1-hour strength circuit AND THEN run 15k? It’s just airbending training. iT’S nOt THaT hArD”

International dinner Again in this vacuum context of them not having to deal with their post-war responsibilities yet, the gaang gets cookin’ all together in the Fire Nation Palace to try and recreate their own nation’s favorite dishes. A few things are discovered: Zuko actually knows how to cook. Toph managed to NOT burn the kitchen. Aang makes a Certified Mess when he’s the cook in charge but hey, at least his food tastes good.

Assorted Kataang moments I refuse to believe Kataang went from 0 to 100 literally over the span of like, 2 years, SO this is just ye old Kataang one-shot compilation of how the relationship evolved as they got older, and just how despite being in a relationship, they also kept being best friends who joke around with each other (which I feel the comics don’t show very well :C )

More may come and I’ll post them here. May or may not turn into fanfics, you know me, I’m the local inconsistent bitch around here :D

[koala-otter]

the teacher and the scientist au: worldbuilding

I am writing some original stuff right now, and as a break where I can keep writing, I’m going to explain some of my worldbuilding/choices that I make when it comes to my modern “the teacher and the scientist” AU. The hope is that it will be fun for others to see what goes into a fic, or give people ideas for their own fics!

*a quick note: I am a white Latina! I have no East Asian heritage! I studied for a while in Beijing and speak Mandarin Chinese fluently, so I kind of defer to my experiences there when making worldbuilding choices in fic (because I believe strongly in writing what you know, especially given the damage you might cause by writing what you don’t know), but will also do research online or through friends on other countries and cultures that inspired the four nations in ATLA. But all of this is just to say that while I do put a lot of thought into this stuff, I am by no means the authority on any of it, and I am open to criticism and of course always want to make sure I’m not doing anything harmful with my writing. I promise to listen and adapt if you approach me about literally anything in my fic or in this post.

Ok now let’s get into it!

1. The setting: Ba Sing Se’s Natural History Museum This is based on a combination of the Beijing Museum of Natural History, the American Natural History Museum in New York, and Beijing’s Forbidden City/Gugong. Beijing I think is probably the biggest inspiration for Ba Sing Se with the ring system and centering of the palace (and I mean the Earth King’s palace is pretty directly based off of Tiananmen Square), so it seems like a pretty solid model for a modern Ba Sing Se to me.

2. The field trip I went on so many field trips to the Natural History Museum when I was little, and they were always the absolute most fun of the year. And I feel like we went to the planetarium basically every time? It was kind of fun to recall and try to capture the experience of being a little kid on this trip in this fic

3. The Lower Ring & the Middle Ring I put Zuko and his students as coming from the Lower Ring for a few reasons. Firstly, I couldn’t imagine Katara and Aang living in either the financial district that is the Middle Ring or the ostentatiousness of the Upper Ring. I think if they were in Ba Sing Se they’d work and raise their family in the Lower Ring (I will be getting into their jobs in later installments of this story, so I won’t explain them here!), which means Bumi goes to school in the Lower Ring, which then means Zuko has to work there in order to be his teacher and for this entire concept to work out (and also the reasons explained in the actual fic where he lived there with Iroh and wants to give back). And the museum is in the Middle Ring because I wanted it connected to the university, which canonically is in Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring.

4. Sokka as an astrophysicist Because Sokka is a smart kid and a huge science nerd, okay??? And Yue and the space sword. It makes sense. Also, because Ba Sing Se = ATLA’s Beijing, I think of Ba Sing Se University as Beida （北大）or Peking University, which is China’s first national university and one of the most, if not the most, selective university in the country (disclaimer: I did not study at Beida!!). But yeah BSSU is the Earth Kingdom’s most illustrious university and one of the best research institutions in the world, and Sokka’s a tenured professor there. My boy’s world-class brilliant.

5. “Teacher Zuko” Ughhh I really struggled with this. Basically, I was taught in learning Chinese to address teachers as “Surname 老师 (lao3shi1),” which is “Surname Teacher.” But! I didn’t want to give Zuko a surname, because that seemed rife with opportunities for missteps (there’s a lot that goes into surnames of literally any country or culture, from geography to family history and occupations, and I didn’t want to co-opt anything that wasn’t mine to use). So I knew the kids would call him by his first name. But “Zuko Teacher” sounded off. And in Chinese, titles like Mr. or Miss or Mrs. go after one’s surname, while in English it’s the opposite, so I figured for this fic it was appropriate to implement the English convention. So! “Teacher Zuko.”

6. Sokka’s appearance Sokka’s one of those hot, young professors that appear only in popular media, or once in a blue moon. He finds out from Katara that white sneakers are an easy way to look in the fashion know while remaining marginally professional for class, and they become a staple of his uniform. I picture him in Stan Smiths. (And of course they’re a little beaten up! It’s Sokka!)

7. The gaang’s ages Okay, so, I can’t find the actual post where this is broken down, but I think canonically it makes sense that Katara and Aang were 22 and 20, respectively, when Bumi was born. I put them in this fic at being maybe a year or two older in this fic, so let’s say 23 and 21, when they have Bumi, in Katara’s second year of med school. So when this fic takes place, as Bumi is six years old, they are 29 and 27, and Sokka and Zuko are then 30 and 31.

oh my god we’re only 700 words into a 4,000-word fic why did I decide to do this to myself

8. Sokka looking at his watch and having a penchant for exact minutes He’s a master scheduler. That’s it. 

9. “My Uncle Mushi lives in Chin City” This was just kind of an opportunity to integrate more from the ATLA universe! Obvi “Mushi” is Iroh’s refugee alias, but whatever another kid can have it, and yeah Chin City is that terrible village with all of those wacky people from “Avatar Day.” So we know the kid’s uncle is wacky. Fat chance of going on a field trip to visit him.

10. Zuko calling Bumi talented There’s that scene in the episode where they go to the Sun Warriors that Zuko calls Aang “a talented kid.” Bumi’s Aang’s son, so I figure by the transitive property Zuko would describe him the same way.

11. Zuko’s scar  I don’t know why but I often forget to mention Zuko’s scar in other fics! Either way, I find kids usually respond to people’s differences better than most adults do. Kids just see things and comment on them, which, yeah, can be rude by societal standards, but I’d imagine it would be very refreshing for Zuko after going much of his life with people trying to avoid either staring at the left side of his face or talking about what happened. Also, I didn’t really want to get into the cause of the scar. Obviously Ozai did it. I don’t have an idea of how. Other fics have done that better. Explaining it within the fic the way Zuko would explain it to his class seemed like a good way to tell the reader, “Hey yeah it’s the same cause as in the show,” but then not have to get into it.

12. Sokka hates intro classes Ughhh no one likes intro classes, and I’d imagine it’s even worse for professors. Prerequisites are often too easy for the kids intending on majoring or too hard and meant to weed out the kids who can’t stick with the department’s program. College is funny.

13. Aang volunteers in Zuko’s class From what I can tell, parental involvement in schools is only getting bigger. And Aang is a great dad and I think he’d take any opportunity to get involved with Bumi’s school.

14. Zuko’s backstory I should probably take the time to explain this! Basically I think of this story existing in a universe where after they moved to Ba Sing Se under circumstances comparable to their being refugees in the show, Iroh and Zuko actually stayed in the city, and Zuko got his education there. And yeah! My boy went to BSSU, too!

15. Stargazing at the South Pole and seeing the moon at the North Pole Oh my god the pure amount of thought that went into this. I worked with the assumption that A:TLA takes place on Earth, and that then the rotations of Earth, and the rotation of the moon, are the same as what we experience now (I’ve thought about this extensively, especially as it pertains to the hemispheres and the seasons, but I don’t want to talk about it here, we simply do not have either the time or space). So the South Pole is essentially the same as our Antarctica/South Pole, except that it is capable of sustaining human life for an extended amount of time, and in theory has greater biodiversity (clearly I have also thought about this extensively, but again, we have neither the time nor the space for my theories). I had to read a NASA report on the phases of the moon as seen from the South Pole! And it turns out you can’t see much of the moon down there, and it is always in crescent form. but yeah, you see a lot of stars (but in the opposite rotation of what we see in the Northern Hemisphere), and I thought that was intriguing, especially given the importance of moon imagery throughout the show. Thus, Sokka’s first seeing the moon in the Northern Water Tribe, which ties in perfectly with his meeting Yue, his first love: “You could say the moon was my first love.” (Which someone pointed out in a comment on Ao3, and it absolutely delighted me that they noticed!)

16. Pipsqueak Just looking for more people from the show to serve as first graders in this fic. Someone commented that they pictured him the same size as he was in canon, and I laughed out loud.

17. Tuyanjing I was trying to think of constellations that look like badger-moles, and I honestly just thought, “Ursa Major. Badger-moles look like giant bears.” And “Tuyanjing” (土眼睛) is my own translation of “earth eye,” which was meant to be a nod to the animals’ connection to Toph and their blindness and earthbending. 

18. All the stars & mentioning the Fire Nation & Water Tribe navigation I was initially going to write something in this scene about ancient constructions, like the pyramids, that were built using the constellations, and then create some elaborate metaphor about them and Zukka. But the only coherent thought I had about it was that it was “Too Much Work.” Instead I realized okay sailors always use the stars for navigation, and the Water Tribes and Fire Nation are the only nations we’ve seen with boats, so let’s go for that, and it works out because if you squint maybe you’ll read something about the stars guiding them to each other. Maybe we’re evoking thoughts of star-crossed lovers. And then we mention the moon again, and Zuko’s really seeing it for the first time, kind of like Sokka did, so hey I don’t know maybe that’s a symbol of something. Maybe.  

And that’s really it I think! Hopefully this was at least entertaining if not entirely informative. I don’t normally write stuff out like this, but it is a good reflection of my thought process while writing most fics. Again, I am open to any kind of communication about the above as well as anything else I’ve posted! And I’d love to hear about any of your own ideas that help you with worldbuilding and writing your own fics :)

[mimzy-writing-online]

Some Blind Things I (and actual blind person) Have Done

I talk all the time about what’s realistic for a blind person to do and how to write a blind character who isn’t a complete media myth of touching faces and super powers... soooo, part of that is knowing what kind of things an actual blind person (me) fucks up doing because I’m blind.

These moments include: Me sarcastically telling people I cannot see the thing they’re doing. Moments where I have zero manners. Moments where I do have manners. Making people uncomfortable because they’re staring at me. Great phrases like, “I have too much ADHD to count to eight.” and “It’s literally illegal for me to drive.” and “Wait, who are you?” “That’s not how we talk to people Mimzy.” My cats’ growing concern that I can’t see them or tell them apart but continuing to love me. Channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong. Updates on the ongoing insomnia writing.

There’s no chronological order to them, I’m not sure there’s going to be any order to them at all, but it’s 3 am and I can’t sleep and it’s called the Late Night Writing Advice Blog for a reason.

(I definitely did not have to double check my own blog title while typing that, definitely not)

Note: This list gets a little long, but it’s a funny read and I was up until 4:30 (this note is from a future Mimzy who’s almost finished posting this, after 1.5 hours)

Additional Note: Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary because I would love if someone enjoyed this. Like, these are stories of my life, please appreciate them.

The Things!

-My best friend and I hang out mostly at night because of his 9-5 job, and he still lives with his parents who probably don’t like me so when we hang out we’re mostly driving around on random adventures and coffee/tea runs and late night dinners. 

So it’s night, and my night vision is awful and I have to wear sunglasses anyway because what I can see is painfully bright headlights so yeah I see basically nothing.

With my best friend, I have

1. after asking him a question: “Did you nod at me and I just didn’t see it.” “I did nod.” or after waiting long enough for a response he’ll realize what he did on his own and say, “I was shaking my head no, sorry.”

2. Reaching into total darkness to touch his shoulder and touched his armpit instead.

3. Dropped something from my bag onto his messy car floor and asked him to find it for me because it all looks blurry and grey-black down there, even without sunglasses

4. Sensed he was going for a high five and I gave him a perfect high five. Surprised, he wanted to test it again. I completely missed.

5. “We’re passing the oil refinery, so enjoy hearing, touching, smelling, tasting that.” plus 3 other identical jokes on the same drive. “Hey, can you stop making blind jokes, I’m starting to hate them these days.” “When did that happen?” “When one not-great classmate slash sort of friend made them all the time.” “That’s a shame.” “Blind jokes from sighted people are also super repetitive. The only blind jokes I seem to like are from other blind people.”

6. Him: “You’re rolling your eyes behind your sunglasses, I can tell!” 

7. Once we saw snow once our way driving home from Las Vegas. It was March, it was after midnight, and the warmest it had been at any point in that night was 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4.4 degrees Celsius. That’s a real comparison?? That’s a scary number to an American who’s barely ever left California. We were driving through the mountainy area of California where the temp really drops and for three seconds we saw snow in the wind. Well, he saw it. Something moved, it was small and flaky but like... that was actually snow and I couldn’t see it? (this was three, almost four years ago)

8. Last weekend we drove around the rich neighborhoods to look at Christmas decorations because I love Christmas lights because for ones light actually looks pretty instead of painful and I can see it at night without hurting, so it’s nice. I love the pretty visual things. Blindness will not take the pretty visual things from me! And the decorations just make me so happy and I wanted to do that last year but never did, so we did that this year

9. I also told him about the cripple punk tag on Tumblr last weekend and he was delighted to know it exists because he’s got other chronic health issues including downright awful knees.

Other blind things not directly involving my best friend

1. I have paused writing to ask a sighted person if it’s realistic for my sighted characters to see X item from Y distance away. Usually my dad with his stupidly perfect vision.

2. Realizing I’m forgetting what sighted people can see. It’s been four years since I saw like a normal person. And all my sighted memories are literally blurry from age.

3. But I still have dreams where I see normally. And then dreams where everything is too bright like in real life and I cannot see and what is happening???

At home, specifically

1. I have three cats who I can’t tell the difference between. I have a small black and brown tabby cat. A black and orange tortie cat who is slightly heavy but medium build. An all black cat who is huge and has the longest fur I’ve ever touched on a cat. I cannot tell the difference between them until I’m up close. Especially if the lighting bad.

2. Tonight I almost set my laptop on top of Remy, my brown and black tabby, because I didn’t see here a foot away from me, curled up next to my leg, somehow blending in with my orange and blue comforter. Her concerned look I did see and was horrified by my almost fuck up and apologized profusely for.

3. Cannot see Felix, my black cat, half the time if the lighting is bad and have almost sat on him, put my feet in his face, tripped over him, etc. because he blends into the shadows and oh my fucking god I cannot see that.

Note: Remy cuddles with me all the time. Felix adores me but will not be caught dead cuddling anyone because dignity, but if he’s in my room and nobody’s around to see he’s insistent on cuddling. Rio (black and orange tortie) is devoted to my mum, and she knows she makes me nervous when she suddenly jumps on me and I get really shifty and squirmy and not fun to cuddle with, so we’re cool and I give her pets but she doesn’t usually crawl onto me unless she wants to make my mum jealous.

4. Can sneak up on family members and friends because I move so quietly, so at least there’s that. Not a blind thing, but it makes up for some things.

5. Have walked up to someone I thought was a friend, realized I don’t know them, and the first thing out my mouth was “Wait, who are you?” and then a close friend (and the party host) grab me by the shoulders and say, “That’s not how we talk to people,” and just like, where are your manners Mimzy, wtf, but I never saw that stranger again so it’s okay.

Side Note: blindness aside, I do have a habit of just rudely speaking my mind in not-appropriate settings because I just don’t care and don’t have the anxiety to at least act like I care. They’re very satisfying, but usually very rare moments.

6. Please stop moving things around the house!

7. “What do you mean there are cobwebs?” *Shines a flashlight at the dark corners of my room* “oh my god...”

8. Me, to my family members, “Please close those curtains, light hurts. Please turn off that lamp, it’s too bright in here.” *me, later turns off most of the lights in the house* Family members: “Why is it so dark in here? I can’t see.” *Me, channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong* “Oh no, what a tragedy!”

9. Mum is the only one who vaguely appreciates my light sensitivity because she also has snow vision (a mild case) and has a little light sensitivity, sometimes, on her bad days.

More Not Quite Appropriate Things!

There are so many things that I say only to realize that there is a very nearby stranger who heard that out of context and it sounded so bad.

1. Best Friend (while I’m walking down stairs just fine, by myself, don’t need anyone’s help, I can do it!) “There are eight steps.” “I don’t need your help.” “I know but--” “I’m fine!” “I’m just trying to help.” “I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway!”

“I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway,” is exactly what two strangers heard while walking right behind me.

Why would you sneak up on someone who’s so obviously blind??

2. “Sea foam green is an ugly color anyway.” I was in a mall, it was well lit and I was using my cane and managing with my crap vision, but I managed to see that specific color I hate on a dress right next to me, and the woman walking on the other side of the mannequin display heard that and did a double take on my obviously blind self.

Or so I’m told by my mom who could see what happened.

3. Similar to above, I was in the Artist Village in San Diego, which is a huge tourist trap, and I was sort of a tourist too, but it’s freaking outdoors, so I have the cane and sunglasses. And I’m in an Artist Village (very visual thing) with my parents, so out of place. And this random dude was apparently staring at me. Cannot see him, absolutely no idea which direction my mum is pointing towards, everything is blank and weird and not see-able, but I turned my head and by some miracle looked directly at him and he freaked out and looked away.

4. “Oh yeah, make fun of the blind person!” sarcastically, but loudly, somewhere public after a joke a friend had made that I was actually okay with.

5. “Driving and hiking are my two biggest weaknesses,” said out of context to people who didn’t know I was blind.

6. “I forgot you were blind.” “Well I didn’t.” More channeling of Toph, I think.

7. “Why can’t you drive?” *points to cane* *he does not get it* “It’s very illegal for me to drive.” *does not get it* “They’re blind dude,” classmate says. “Very blind.” “You seem to get around just fine,” says the man who only see me indoors with the very best lighting scenario for my vision. “Yeah, but that’s because I have the cane.” “So?” You seem just fine, he seems to think. How dumb are you? I definitely think. “Why do you need the cane?” “Because I would die if I didn’t have it. I have almost died. People would die if I tried to drive.”

8. Later: “Did he think you could just drive and use your cane to feel the road or something?” “I guess.”

9. More questions from other people who don’t know me very well asking why I can’t drive. “Because it’s illegal.” Their confusion is wondering specifically why it’s illegal rather than thinking I’m not actually blind. I explain the laws in the driving handbook, because I have read it (unlike some people I guess. How did you miss the ‘drivers must be able to see at least 20/40 with their best corrected eye” and I haven’t been in that category for two years.

Note: My day blindness came two years before my vision acuity reached visually impaired status. So, like, two years of wishing I had a cane but thinking “I’m not blind enough” and still being terrified in certain situations and risking my life walking around without one or some sighted guide.

Similar Public Things

1. I can see indoors pretty well so I get by on prescription glasses and no cane (I see 20/70 - 20/100 with glasses) but sometimes the mall is crowded and nobody gives me space and I’m just not comfortable getting so close to people, so I bust out my cane (and maybe my sunglasses too) so I look extra blind and people will give me the space to walk without running into someone.

2. Have also done that just because the indoor lights were also too bright and I need my sunglasses.

3. Have stared at my phone in public with cane/sunglasses, or tried taking photos with it, and I get so many weird looks because blind people see nothing I guess, none of us have any vision at all! (read sarcasm)

4. Walking into a coffee shop I’ve been to before and I know they change their teas all the freaking time. Also got the cane. “Hi, can you tell me what iced teas you have right now?” “Oh, they’re all on that sign.” *blank look* Do you not realize I’m blind? I’m thinking. “What kind of black tea do you have? Do you have any tropical black tea?” (because they usually do and I love tropical black tea, and they did that day too, so I ordered that.)

5. I cannot read menus. Those restaurants that have the menus above the register are awful, evil. Cannot read. In the wonderful days of my childhood I didn’t have prescription glasses for my moderately not great but still mostly functional vision (my dad has perfect vision and no concept whatsoever about what it’s like to not be able to see those things!) So imagine my parents dragging me to restaurants like that and I’m 10 years old and supposedly can read perfectly fine but I cannot read that menu and I think it’s some personal character fault of mine that I just don’t know how to read those kinds of menus, so I have to ask my mum to help me choose a food to order and eat, and then that’s the only thing I ever order any time I ever go back. So, I’m quickly getting sick of those places because I only eat one item there and I want to try something new with a restaurant with those nice hand held menus, but those are sit-down restaurants and apparently they cost more money, sooo...

6. That was a rant I went on with my best friend last weekend

Side note: It’s almost 4 am, my mum just woke up, saw the light on in my room from under the crack of my door and said hi. I’m at a point right now where she just expects it and isn’t one to judge (unlike my dad who has zero insomnia because he has hypersomnia and I don’t know how humans do that)

Side Note Ten Minutes Later: My laptop is at 10% but I plugged it in because dammit I am finishing this tonight and it will have all the things.

7. “Hey, where’s the trash can? I can’t find one.” *also mistakes a trashcan and a human being just sitting still. All the time* “Why not just litter then?” best friend asks, knowing exactly how I’ll respond. “I have manners!”

8. I hate traveling even a little by myself. My orientation and mobility skills with my cane aren’t that bad, but they’re not good enough for me to feel comfortable walking around by myself anywhere that isn’t super familiar with routes I already have practiced and memorized (school, close friend’s houses or apartments, the blocks in my neighborhood I’ve walked 500 times coming too and from school or walking dogs with my parents). Anywhere unfamiliar or wide/open or crowded or God Forbid, OUTSIDE is a source of terror and will not let my traveling companions leave me alone for longer than a few minutes and certainly not walk away on my own.

9. Will not go to bars because I present female and I am visibly disabled and that makes me look like an easy target and why would I risk that unnecessarily?

I’m gonna cut it off here. This is a long post, and I need to just finally go to bed. Goodnight. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary. I’d like to know that someone liked this.

[hermitknut]

A:TLA watch, part 10

All of my posts on this are here.

Can’t believe I’m finishing this season already…

Appa’s Lost Days

Oh damn we’re going back in time??? Neat!!

Seriously though how did none of these people go “huh maybe he belongs to the avatar with whom I SHOULD NOT FUCK”

I do NOT like this smarmy guy in the red and yellow

HEY. You HEAR THAT MR MACDONALD I DO NOT LIKE YOU

Loll at appa stealing the cabbages

So has appa ended up with the fire nation, then? Not in ba sing se at all?

Go, Appa, go!!

Awww he’ll get there, I’m sure

DREAMING APPA

AND AANG’S DREAMING TOO <3

Serpents passssss he’s close!

LOL IROH

Appa’s hurt :(

THE FIGHTY LADIES

Aww he looks so much better

NO AZULA FUCK OFF

ARE THEY JUST GONNA LEAVE US HANGING ON THIS ONE

Appa went home :(

This guru dude is an interesting twist!

BA SING SE

NO APPA IT’S A TRICK

Wait THAT’S IT THAT’S THE WHOLE EPISODE

Jesus, RUDE

I love it though XD

  Lake Laogai

By the look of the previously on, we’re back on the main plot!!

“why do you feel the need to do that” I love toph XD

“my own teashop!” lol iroh. I feel like this is a risky proposition lol.

Lol at the manager trying to keep him on staff

Oh no it’s stepford wife lady

“control of the earth king” a-HA

I LOVE KATARA’S REACTION TO JET XD XD she’s prepared to full on drown the dude look at that face

*sing song voice* jet’s been hyp-no-tised

Noooo whale-tale island is a fake. Clever way of trying to get the Avatar out of the city.

“I can tell you’re lying” TOPH

“Jet’s been brainwashed” Nice thinking, sokka!

Uh oh blue mask!!

NICE MOVE ZUKO

Ahhh creepy underground lake place

All the stepford wives in unison, yeurgh

Zuko with appa??

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Hypnotissssssm

Iroh caught zuko!! Lol

GOD the way Iroh lays into zuko JESUS

holy shit is jet gonna die

Silent dude spoke!!

god I am. genuinely frightened rn. Did zuko let appa go??

APPA!!!!

But what about the scroll??

Zuko greeewwwwwww bless him

  The Earth King

FINALLY ARE WE GONNA FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRLS (I’m guessing based on the previously on)

Deeply amused that toph calls katara “sweetness”

DAMN at aang blocking the giant rock with one hand without looking at it

LOOK AT THEM FIGHTING HOLY CRAP EVERYONE’S SO BADASS

Special shoutout to toph turning the stairs into a slope

I also love the built-in comedy of Sokka checking doors

Is zuko sick???

“over here!” followed by Aang cheerfully undoing and redoing his rockhandcuffs XD

THEY PUT THE EARTH KING ON A TRAIN

Lolllllllll I’m enjoying the dynamic with the earth king

Hell of a fever dream zuko

“it’s imported” LOL WHAT

It can’t be this simple :/

Idk about this whole invade the fire nation thing, it freaks me out like – eclipses aren’t that long???

Awwww everybody got letters!

“we have to split up” NO WHAT

The goodbyes are giving me feels

DID ZUKO JUST DREAM HIMSELF AS AANG LOL I mean I also have feelings about this but it’s still kinda funny

Sokka WHY would you JINX every body like that

Bad spy guy still in action, naturally

TOPH OH NO!!

A ZU LA HO LTY SHIT FUCK OH NO NOOOO UH OH UH OH [edit: electing to leave this as I typed it mid-episode lol]

…holy shit you guys

you guys I’m not ready

 The Guru

…zuko you’re freaking me out

Sokka and his daaaad I’m gonna cryyyyy

Oh no the plan has been given away to azulaaaa I TOLD YOU I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS

Man there is so much going on in this episode

“even you can’t bend metal” honestly if you piss her off any more I feel like she’s gonna manage it

I love student!aang

Let’s be honest I love all aangs but

Sokka getting fatherly approvallllll

Zuko’s still scaring the shit out of me I can’t deal with this it’s like he’s been replaced with a robot

So glad aang’s getting some actual emotional support here from an adult, ngl

HOLY SHIT TOPH IS GONNA BEND METAL ISN’T SHE I WAS ONLY KIDDING BEFORE

katara getting tea XD I WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING XD XD

Lollllllllllll Katara run!!

“why would I choose cosmic energy over katara” I LOVE YOU AANG

Ooooo yikes the way the water spills out and makes it look almost like katara’s bleeding

Look I hate azula but if she can stop zuko from continuing to freak me out I’m kind of here for it

The whole avatar state dream sequence is trippy and beautiful

Aang’s face when he picks up sokka :(

“we’ve been invited to serve tea to the earth king” *facepalm*

HOW IS THE NEXT EPISODE THE END OF THE SEASON. HOW.

I feel like I’m hurtling into ABSOLUTE CHAOS next ep oh god XD

 The Crossroads of Destiny

Totally not a FUCKING OMINOUS TITLE thanks for that

*jittery*

Okay I just watched the previously on and I am literally grabbing my own head in panic

I AM. SO TENSE.

DRAGON OF THE WEST OH MY GOD you just know he thought that up when he was like, twelve, and honestly it’s so beautifully consistent with his character

They locked up zuko with katara XD

You have no idea how hard I’m trying not to make every comment capslocked

“it’s an old friend of mine” HOLY SHIT

“good inside him isn’t enough – why don’t you come back when it’s OUTSIDE him too” can we please give sokka a standing fucking ovation for this line because

“the key to both is proper aging” omg

oh boy this ain’t good

okay azula’s evil but damn is she good at it

lollll aang and zuok glaring at each other from inside the hugs

do you think azula resents that her super cool lightning ability results in her just making finger guns at everyone all the time because

ZUKO’S HERE

ZUKO IS FIGHTING AANG??

KATARA JUST SENT WATER SHARP ENOUGH TO CUT AZULA’S HAIR DAMN

“…just take the bear” LOL

…

…

... 

So I actually stopped typing because I had my hands clamped over my mouth for like the last five minutes of the episode (in a GOOD WAY though)

I then promptly called @1boo and yelled at her for like 20 minutes because HOLY SHIT I could not get organised enough to type anything

After a brief cooldown period, some thoughts:

1. OSUDHFOSUDRHGOSUDGHFOSIDHFGJOSUEHGTIUSHGFOISUEH GOSIUHGFISHSDFHSDOLGFLOSHGOSUHGOSGHD

2. ZUKO JOINED UP WITH AZULA WHAT THE HELL

3. See I know that season 1 is Air, season 2 is Earth, and season 3 is Fire – it’s on the DVD cases. So I really expected Zuko to join up with the others at the end of this season, with the understanding that he and Iroh would teach Aang firebending? BUT NO

4. I’m guessing we need this twist because Zuko’s not ready to fully give up on the Fire Nation as-is yet – so he’s gonna fall in for a while and then, presumably make his decision to leave. Which he needs, because before when he left the fire nation the decision was made FOR HIM and now he needs to make it FOR HIMSELF. idk. it’s just a theory.

5. AANG NEARLY LITERALLY DIED AND I NEARLY DIED WITH HIM OH MY GOD

6. Bascially, I am apparently going into season three with NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO EXPECT

7. you think I’m kidding, the only thing I know about the next season is “that’s rough buddy” that’s BASICALLY IT OKAY

8. SOIUDFHSIUGHE9U7GHS9D87FGYE54YHGSVOIUDNXFKJWMSEOGIU VHDGNSURODHGVSOFHBUVSFIUDBDHIUSBFHIUSIUHUI1!!!!!!

...

Right so

I’m going to go take a shower and stare into nothingness while I think about how incredible this show is

See you… next time?

H