#topic: csa

[heartbrainlungut]

Once a kid pops the fun don't stop.

You're a public domain tragedy.

Hands in your guts loading up with finger paint.

You don't get a say about what goes on the canvas.

This is not your tragedy.

It's ours. It's everyone's.

Now quiet down.

[sevicia]

lots of children get fixated on sex as a physical sensation or as a concept at a young age without trauma. it can be from hearing about these things from older people or seeing something on tv. it’s not always necessarily bad when a kid discovers sexuality at a young age if they have an adult to guide them and talk to them sensibly while steering them away from it. some children just mature differently. it can lead to hyper sexuality when the person is older if that interest isn’t properly addressed but that’s another topic. if that aspect of someones childhood was not addressed or was shut down or mistreated by their peers or their caretakers then it’ll cause problems and disturbing mentalities around the topic even with no invasion of boundaries or abuse, ESPECIALLY if the person in question goes on to have other mental issues. sorry if this was intrusive , hope it helped some!

YEAH it helps a lot and makes sense tysm!! its not intrusive at all either, ty again ^_^

[springtrappd]

You said in one post that the author of Solar Lunacy is ableist. Could you explain how they're being problematic? I know almost nothing about them or the story itself, so I wouldn't know if they've said or done anything sus. Also, thank you for actually criticizing the Daycare Attendant stans, almost nobody in this site does that.

thank you for asking! it's rare to see, you're right, but it's also rare that people are willing to actually engage with that critical posting, so -- again, thank you! as for your question: oh boy, can i!

first: the basics. dissociation is a psychological response to overwhelming stress wherein the brain... disassociates from itself, placing a barrier between itself and the harsh reality. the most famous dissociative disorder is dissociative identity disorder (DID), known formerly as multiple personality disorder (MPD) or split personality. did occurs when someone without a fully-formed identity (read: a child) undergoes such severe stress that the 'brain' dissociates from its identity itself, creating alternate identities (personalities) to deal with the things they can't. these alternate identities work together to form a system. it's way more complicated than that and you can read more on it here and here but that's the bare minimum for the ignorant in the audience. we all caught up? good! moving on.

now, the question of whether or not the daycare attendant is a system is a touchy one. i've seen multiple different stances on the matter, seen a lot of arguments, and typed (and deleted) several hundreds of words about it, and the answer that i've come to is that, for the sake of this argument, whether the dca is a system in canon doesn't matter. what matters is how bamsara treats them. how do they handle the characters, how do they frame the switches in personality, the confusion, all the parallels to real-world symptoms -- how do they expect the viewer to feel, what do they pull from the cultural lexicon, yadda yadda. does bamsara -- regardless of their intentions -- depict the dca as a system, and if so, how do they handle it?

the answer is that they depict the dca as experiencing altered identity states, switching (and even blurring) between identities, and even repeatedly acknowledges them as a plural entity.

and it is these behaviours, specifically, that are used to make the dca scary. bamsara's daycare attendant is scary because they experience altered identity states. because they blur identities. because they are a plural entity. because they display the textbook symptoms and behaviours of a disorder most commonly caused by childhood sexual abuse. and it is the fear that this is inspires that makes them (but especially moon & eclipse) sexy.

now, one can argue that this is simply in line with existing horror media, and they would be correct: most pop culture depictions of dissociative disorders are extremely ableist, and have real-world consequences! but what makes it really, really shitty is that... i don't want to think about this stuff. i don't come to fandom to be reminded that people are terrified of what they don't understand, and that that very very often includes the mentally ill. i don't want to be reminded that there are people who don't believe dissociative disorders exist at all. i don't want to reminded that they -- the sick, the survivors, the unlucky 140 million -- are spoken of in the same way as monsters. i don't come here for harsh realities. but solar lunacy is the most kudos'd fnaf fic on ao3, and we all have to live with that.

if you liked solar lunacy or bamsara's content or... whatever, i don't particularly care. i'm not mad about people thinking evil alters are sexy, or engaging with horror content that says shitty things about systems -- it's your life, live it how you please (and i've got a vanny icon so who am i to judge lmao). sometimes the things that make us happy are kinda shitty, and that's okay! our views are shaped by the society we live in, and there is no society on earth that is kind to the mentally ill -- there's no way to undo that, to stop that from influencing you in some capacity. but... all i ask is for you to think about this stuff, and try to educate yourself on the topic. there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, or having flaws -- but there's something wrong with making a space that feels unsafe, that reflects some of the more uncomfortable aspects of our society, that unintentionally hurts people. it's just up to you if that something is something you care about.

i hope that answers your question, anon (and anyone else who's curious). take care, mate!

(edit 13/01/2023: due to some technical difficulties on tumblr's end, the notes aren't quite showing up properly, so here's the link to bamsara's reblog chain if you can't find it.)

[winchestersickness]

Season 2 + csa interpretation

2x05 // 2x10 // 2x21

[monsterhighlovurr]

Deathzazz was half a beautifully written analysis about how adult abuse survivors often find themselves trapped in similar abusive relationships as adults if they are unable to resolve their trauma and tend to still idolize both their abusers and the people similar to their abusers. The other half was hot garbage and easily the worst shit in the show.

[denkies]

Some of yall do not know the difference between "media that glorifies Bad Thing" and "media that portrays Bad Thing and the audience has to use critical thinking skills" and its actually concerning

[biracy]

Hey everyone no offense but maybe staff didn't delete the toonimal callout doc because everyone on staff secretly loves pedophiles maybe they did it because it contained people's full legal names and home addresses and phone numbers and where they were last seen in public and encouraged people to report all that to the fucking FBI. Which goes against terms of service. Just maybe

[sevicia]

Please talk to your therapist about this, children are not sexual at that age obviously if they arent victims of CSA. Im not going to say anything else as to not speculate on your psychology, because I dont want to do that, and because I want to help but the topic triggers me. Good luck with everything !

i will, dw!! and thank you, i hope you have a nice day ^_^

[afieldinengland]

sorry i had to go and find this because i still can't quite believe it

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Genuinely cannot comprehend how people can use terms like "pedoshitter" and "kiddie porn" and still think that anyone should believe them when they claim that they give a single fuck about children being abused.

[spitblaze]

todays award for 'man what the fuck' goes to reddit for making me see pr0/-ship discourse in goddamn 2023. thought we were past that but i guess not

[jules-tells-a-story]

the whole urbanspook/urbanslug situation on twitter/youtube got me thinking about something i've been seeing in the wider horror community, so, as someone who enjoys analog horror and actively writes horror, i thought i'd throw in my two cents.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, child death, and csa below the cut:

the thing about urbanslug isn't necessarily the topics he covers. no topic should be 100% out of bounds to cover, especially in a genre like horror that relies on making people face the things they fear or what makes them uncomfortable. and it's not as if topics like this haven't been covered before. child killings, animal abuse, even csa have all been covered by previous horror projects. urbanslug isn't necessarily doing anything new here.

the problem is that with topics such as animal abuse, child killings, csa, and the like have to be handled with a certain sensitivity, even in the horror genre. things like these aren't just buzzwords to be thrown around in an "and then THIS fucked up thing happened!" mad libs sort of way. these are serious topics, life destroying events for many people, and they should be treated as such. at the very least, treating these topics without their due diligence will just create a lazy story which uses these topics for shock value. at the worst, it's making a total mockery of people who've experienced/witnessed such trauma, using their pain as fluff to make a story seem like it has more substance than it does.

what urbanslug has created is, dare i say it, fetishistic. it makes me so sad because it started off as a project with actual promise. a serial killer who paints their victims as their calling card? come on, that's an intriguing premise! but as things have gone on, it just feels like he's throwing things at the wall to seem as edgy and fucked up as possible without taking into account the gravity of the topics he's covering. (and do NOT get me started on the fact that he's selling csa, albeit fictional, but still, csa, as merch. as of posting, cory is still on his creator spring page. what in the actual fuck.)

there are ways to cover sensitive topics. what urbanslug is doing, for lack of a better phrase, just ain't it.

[samijami]

My father wasted my whole night

Him and mom got into another screaming argument, so ofcourse I AM ALWAYS THE FUCKIN ONE WHO THEY LET OFF STEAM TO AFTERWARDS WHETHER THEY FUCKING HIT ME OR SCREAM AT ME OR WHATE THE FUCK EVER

So I got this wonderful wonderful MOST FUCKING WONDERFUL hour long chat from my father about my mother's whole origin story. He went into details and had no censoring whatsoever to his almost 16 year old kid

He said about all the times my mother let my sister get raped, made sure to empahsis EVERY SINGLE TIME HE MENTIONED IT, 'she was about your age. 12, 13, 14 to your age'. Then he went on about how my mother went cheap on my grandfather's funeral, and how she's fucked my sister out of her side of his will, then about how she's had sex with every drunken man who waltzed into her bar when she worked in one ('black and white, didnt matter'). He even went further into that point for atleast 15 minutes and said that she was lucky she didn't contract something and die, and that she was a sex addict.

And he went into most of this because he was screaming at her and said 'if you fucking died, I'm going to put on your headstone 'it was all her fault, she did this to herself'.' and she screamed back 'then don't give me a fucking headstone, it's not like anyone's going to fucking visit me anyways.'

He kept on saying over and over to me, 'you know like how your mother blamed your sister for getting raped and dismissed her, i wouldn't do the same to you'.

I wanted to scream at him. HES FUCLING DONE THAT BEFORE

HE

HAS

FUCKING

DONE

THAT

BEFORE

THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY A JACKASS NAMED ZACH ISNT IN FUCKING PRISON RIGHT NOW

HE DISMISSED ME SO MUCH AND SAID 'IF THAT HAPPENED, IT WAS YOUR FAULT

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE OMG THE ONLY THING THATS GONNA STOP ME FROM SLITTING MY THROAT RN IS THE THOUGHT OF WHAT MY BF WOULD DO HAHAH FUCKING FUNNY RIGHT?????

[lockandkeyhyena]

as someone who's JUST been raped again this whole story thing you have going on feels like a huge betrayal. sorry not sorry but rape culture already forgives abusers, ESPECIALLY if they're male, and your story contributes to normalizing abuse because "ohhh the rapist is just a little guy!! the rapist ALSO has feewings ohhhh they're sooooo sad they totally regret doing this guys". have you seen how the public response towards sa/csa allegations against celebrities usually goes? the VERY first thing people do is jump to the rapist's defense because they seem so normal, how could they? obviously the accuser is lying. your attempt to "humanize" your abuser oc is deeply insulting and though i do agree that punitive justice does more harm than good in the long run the thread of logic you're spinning wrt this situation more often than not culminates in villifying victims when they're caught venting — as if victims of other crimes (or their families) don't also do this and as if expressing anger inmediately turns us into monsters, you know? i would much, much rather an actual rape victim tackled this rather than someone who needs to do research on how it feels to be raped and is using a deeply traumatizing event as a fun little hypothetical in all honesty. boost our voices if you want but don't twist our experiences into... this.

my advice on what to do with the story: absolutely DON'T post it on this account because warriors has a huge pedo problem and they will jump on the opportunity to absolve themselves via your characters. if you really want to keep going make a sideblog with a different name and trigger tag your stuff appropiately. this is like, common practice regarding nsfw stuff

hey, you’ve just undergone an incredibly traumatising event and are feeling all your emotions very highly right now, i completely understand where you’re coming from but i have given every possible warning and and way for you to avoid seeing this content.

for your own personal mental health, i highly highly recommend you block me and avoid looking at my content if it’s going to trigger you so intensely. you shouldn’t be so attached to my online persona that me exploring different topics in my work feels as though a personal betrayal to you.

the pedophile problem in the warrior cats community is not something i am personally responsible for, nor is it something that i should have to curate my space to avoid. it is not my job to cater to the media illiteracy of potential viewers.

additionally, i don’t intend to, nor would i *ever* create nsfw content regarding such a story and the insinuation that i would is deeply upsetting. sexual assault should not be an adults only topic.

finally, i understand your feelings that this story may be better if told by an actual rape victim- and i don’t disagree, but several rape victims have offered their assistance with this project and volunteered personal anecdotes and advice for writing about it.

ultimately, i feel as though i am doing my very best to handle the story with tact and grace, and while i am not against criticism, i feel as though you haven’t offered substantive evidence of such towards me.

still, i appreciate you giving your feedback, and i hope you block me so as not to trigger you any further. apologies if any of this comes across as aggressive or patronising, it is not my intent.

[nonbinarygamzee]

ok sorry as a warning this is not a lighthearted post but yes god yes lrt, the idea of certain things being both allegorical and textual within homestucks narrative is soooo vital to the stuff i have to say about its themes specifically as it relates to english and undertones of child abuse and csa/cocsa going on with the characters who function as his servants and/or constituents. i always end up exhausting myself out of talking about any of it because i have ocd and just preemptively assume im going to be killed with knives for talking about topics like this but its just what im most interested in so. we are sooo back.

anyways. i wrote this little post a while back, and while as usual i kind of struggled to articulate or expand on what i meant, i think and write about it a lot. in fact i would call it probably my primary reading focus when talking about homestuck and its preoccuption with inescapable cycles and the general unspoken troubles of adolescence. to me you just cannot have a story about how hard and isolating it is to Grow Up, about feeling Trapped, and not find something to say about these kinds of abuse.

and abuse or some sort of overtly negative relationship to sex is an attribute that you can prescribe to.... every character who works under or functions as a part of lord english, who is in of himself both textually and metaphorically a symbol of abuse exerted on all of these children. from equius' sexual harassment to gamzee's being the recipient of it, from damaras blatant assertion of her sexuality in as unapproachable a way as she can following a traumatic event, to scratch's blatant pedophilia, etc etc. it is a Constant in all of characters tied to this demon who himself is representative of averse childhood experience and exertion of oppressive power. theres no escape from it how there is no escape from him and it manifests in ways that are both tangibly and textually being experienced by these characters, and wholly representatively. hell, in ways i think it is even manifesting in ways that ostensibly blur the line between the literal and metaphorical, in that characters like caliborn are sometimes acting as blatant stand-ins for teenage sex pestery while the entire joke is he is not actually particularly capable of the kind of sexual gradification that follows all he is spouting as means of causing discomfort.

theres this constant grappling with autonomy throughout homestuck as a whole, and ina way that definitely manifests as overtly drawing from ideas of abuse especially sexual in nature amd its by no means limited to the handful of characters that have this direct relation to lord english, but that additional proximity and alliance (condtional or not) these characters are also alligned within to me screams very very loudly of the kind of relationship you have when the prepetrator of your abuse is somebody who you are trapped in that close proximity to, and who benefits from that proximity because of the ways that it grants deniability and abstraction to keep it covert.