#trailer was amazing I have watched it for like 10 times

[hydraballista]

Symbiote Spider-Man entrance was one of the highlights of the trailer, I was inspired to draw something like this.

[cameronspecial]

A New Kind Of Normal (Part 3)

Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Fight With A Parent, Swearing, and Fear of Relapse

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.0K

Summary: Rafe has accomplished his goals and is now able to meet his daughter for the first time.

Masterlist

Over the past month, Rafe has gotten a chance to learn more about Stella from his weekly meetings with Y/N. Stella was born on May 17th, 2020 at 10:59 A.M. Her first word was Joshy, said at eleven months old when she was calling for help from her uncle Josh when her uncle Benedict would mercilessly tickle her. At two years old, she became obsessed with witches after her mother read her a book about them and it has been her favourite topic of conversation since. Her favourite colour is dark purple and her favourite food is any soup in general because she likes to pretend she is drinking a witch's potion when she eats it. The most important fact of all to Rafe: Stella Rachel Y/L/N is his little girl’s full name. Y/N had tried her best to come up with a name close to Rafe, but all the names closer she found on the internet didn’t go with Stella. Nonetheless, the action still touched him when Y/N told him that was the reason.

And now, he’ll finally get to meet his little star. His hand fidgets with the small nob on his watch, making the hands go clockwise and counterclockwise. He watches as Y/N reads over his toxicology report. She didn’t require him to do a weekly toxicology report to prove that he was staying sober, but he wanted to show her she could trust him. The logical part of him knows she won’t say that he can’t meet Stella, yet a small part of him fears she might. 

The small smile she gives him relieves him of his anxiety, “This is great, Button. I’m so proud of the work you put into staying sober.” Forming a friendship with Y/N was another amazing thing that happened this month. When she started using the nickname she gave him the night Stella was conceived, he felt the air leave his lungs just like it does now. “Thanks. I was really scared that I might relapse this week after I got into an argument with my dad, but I called Diana, did some breathing exercises and looked at my picture of Stella. It all helped me get through it,” he replies truthfully. He had truly felt fear that week when he found himself on the road towards Barry’s trailer. Luckily, he was able to fight through his desire and pull over the car before he got there. Y/N nods and reaches out to place a reassuring hand on his, “Well, I’m glad you were able to recognize your craving and reach out for help with managing it. So do you want to come over after we finish our coffee?” 

His lips stretch so far apart that people would think he is the Joker. He pulls out his phone to check his schedule, “No, I won’t have enough time to go home and change if I come tonight. I also need to get her a few things before I meet her. How about tomorrow afternoon? Is that okay?” “You know you don’t have to make a big deal about this with the changing and the gifts. As long as you love her and show her that love, she is going to reciprocate those feelings,” Y/N argues. 

“I know, I just… Meeting her is all I have been dreaming about for the last month and I want it to be perfect. Plus, it really couldn’t hurt to get her a few bribery toys.”

“I understand how you feel. When Benny came home the week before Stella was born with the wrong colour paint for her room, I almost threw a chair at him. I wanted Finch yellow, but he got funky yellow. It didn’t matter that they were virtually the same colour. I just need her room to be exactly how I planned it. So you can come over tomorrow. Just don’t buy her too many toys.” 

“I can’t be held to a gift-buying limit. I have to make up for five years.”

——

Y/N watches as Stella tries to get ready by herself, thinking about what is going to happen in just ten minutes. “Mommy, help, please,” Stella cries out for help. Y/N’s focus returns to her daughter and she has to stop herself from laughing. Stella has gotten her shirt stuck on her head because she has been trying to get her head through the armhole. Y/N approaches the young girl and helps put her head through the right hole. “You were almost there, Stells. I’m proud of you,” she praises, giving the little girl a kiss on the head. Stella shouts a thank you as she runs into her mom’s room. 

Y/N follows her daughter to her room and carries Stella over to the bed. Once Stella is safely on the bed, Y/N turns toward her dresser to get her perfume. “One tiny spray for this wrist,” Y/N pushes the top of the perfume so the scent falls on her daughter’s wrist. “And one tiny spray for the other. Now, you are ready to go. Why don’t you wait in the living room for Mommy’s special guest to arrive.” The little girl runs off as her mother suggested and Y/N is left alone in her room. She looks at herself in her mirror, wondering how her life is going to change once Stella meets her dad. It’s not that Y/N doesn’t trust Rafe, he has shown her that he really is trying. It’s that Stella isn’t going to be solely Y/N’s anymore. She will have to share some parenting duties with Rafe and it feels strange for her to do that. She is the one who stayed up with Stella when she was puking all night last year. She is the one who would read the little girl a bedtime story every day. She is the one Stella goes to when she is scared. Now, Y/N is going to have to learn to let Rafe do those things too. 

Rafe nervously wipes the sweat off of his palm and adjusts the hat on his head. The time on the clock shows he is five minutes early, but he can’t wait any longer. He knocks on the door and rocks on the balls of his feet. The door creaks open, yet Rafe is met with an empty doorway. It is only when he looks down that he sees the perfect little star staring up at him with her brilliant blue eyes. “Stella Rachel Y/L/N, what have I told you about answering the door to strangers?” Y/N scolds, walking into the room with an adorable motherly look. Stella looks back at her mother with a pouty look, “I’m sorry, Mommy. But I knows we were going to have a special guest.”

Rafe is in awe at how adorable she is, but he takes this as his chance to do the first fatherly act he will ever do. “Your mother is right, Stella. What if I was a stranger?” he poses, kneeling down to her level. She gives him wide eyes, “But you weren’t. You are the man who Mommy yelled at.” Her words cause pain to shoot through his heart. The first memory his little girl has of him is his argument with her mother. Y/N can see the hurt that crosses Rafe’s face and beckons the pair away from the doorway. “Yes, he is, Baby. But he apologized to Mommy and we are friends again. Did you see his hat?” Y/N points out. The small blue eyes move from his face up to his head and her eyes turn to delight. “You’re wearing a witch’s hat!” she exclaims, reaching up to her father’s head to try it on. “Can I try it on, please?” Glad that his conversation start is working, he takes the hat off and places it on her tiny head. Everyone giggles as the big hat falls over her eyes. 

Now, that the ice has been sufficiently broken, Y/N decides it is time to make the introduction Rafe has been waiting for. “Stella, do you know why I asked my special friend to come visit?” Y/N sits on the couch, bringing Stella on her lap. The little girl shakes her head and rests it on her mother’s chest. “He’s your Daddy, Baby.” The excitement in his daughter’s eyes as she turns toward him sends him over the moon. The tiny girl flings herself into her arms and screams his new name. He never thought someone would call him those words, but now it’s the only one he wants to hear. “Does that mean you can play witch with me? I have a hat you can borrow.” With her now in his arms, he can smell the familiar vanilla fragrance of Y/N’s perfume. It makes him smile that she wants to be just like her mommy. Before he can answer, she runs off to her room to get her toys. She returns dragging a big plastic cauldron behind her. Rafe feels his father's instinct kick in. He jumps off of the couch and runs over to pick her and the cauldron up in his arms. Stella looks at him in awe, “Wow, my Daddy is super strong.” This absolutely kills him and he kisses her on the cheek. 

——

Y/N, Stella and Rafe have spent the afternoon playing various games their daughter wanted to play. When it got closer to dinner time, the three of them worked together to make something to eat. “Button, can you please pour me some more water?” Y/N asks, holding up her glass for him to do it. He picks up the water pitcher and pours it for her, “Of course, Buttercup.” Stella may be three and eleven months old, but she is very observant. Throughout the afternoon, she noticed the tiny glances Rafe would send Y/N’s way. She noticed how his hand would reach to find her skin, yet it never seemed to land. She noticed how he would always ask for Y/N’s approval. And just now, she saw how his lips formed a massive smile because of her mother’s attention. 

The small girl starts to form a plan in her head; she can see how much her father is pining for her mother. He clearly needs her help. “Mommy, I like Daddy’s hair. Do you?” she questions, looking back and forward between her parents. Y/N looks up from her food to look at Rafe, “I do like his hair. It looks nice when the front of his hair falls down like a little curtain.” He stops mid-stab of the pasta to look up at her through his lashes. “I’ll take note of that then, Buttercup,” he brings his hand up to hide the blush on his cheeks. Stella is very satisfied with the results of the beginning of her plan. She feels like a genius. Y/N doesn’t know that she is going to regret letting Stella watch Hallmark movies with her. 

——

After dinner, Rafe is preparing for the roughly hour-and-a-half drive back to the Outer Banks. Stella is holding on to Rafe for dear life because she isn’t ready for him to go. “Mommy, why can’t Daddy stay?” she begs, looking at her mother sadly. Y/N frowns at her daughter, “I’m sorry, Baby. Not yet, there is nowhere for him to sleep. Plus, Daddy has work tomorrow and you have daycare.” Rafe can see the struggle Y/N is having with saying no to Stella and he helps her out. “How about I go over to the diner on Friday? I’ll be there when you get back from daycare. Maybe I’ll even have a surprise,” he offers, whispering the last part in her ear. 

The darling’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree and loosens her arms from his neck. “Okay! I can’t wait to see you. Bye, Daddy. I love you,” she bids adieu. She hops down from his arms and runs to get ready for bed. The quicker she goes to bed, the faster Friday comes. Rafe calls back I love you. The two adults laugh at the child as they watch her run off. The laughter dies down and Y/N turns her body toward Rafe. “It’s okay that I come by on Friday, right?” Rafe confirms with a hopeful smile. 

“Of course, as long as you are sober, I won’t stop you from seeing her. The extra business is good too.” 

“Haha, I’ll make sure to deposit my paycheck before I go in then. Also, please let me know if you need anything. Money for food, rent, toys, clothes, tuition. Anything, okay. I want to pull my weight. She’s my daughter too.”

“I will, I promise. Thank you for coming over tonight. You made her day.”

They both look at each other for a second and then notice the time. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late,” Rafe concludes, taking a step closer to the door. Y/N tries to hide her slight disappointment, “Uh, yeah. Drive safe. See you on Friday.” Rafe nods his head and opens the door. “See you on Friday.” Y/N stays by the door as she watches Rafe walk down her driveway. She waves goodbye to him as he gets into his car and drives away. Once he is out of sight, she closes the door and reflects on the day. It was strange to have Rafe there, but she doesn’t regret the decision. She saw how much he cared for Stella and it solidified the idea in her mind that he is meant to be a father. This is a new kind of normal that she can get used to. 

——

Since Sarah and Rafe moved out of Tannyhill, Ward insisted on having family dinner every week. Everyone knows Sarah’s departure is the main reason why Ward wanted to do so, especially since Ward tried to have just Sarah come to dinner. However, thanks to Sarah, Ward gave in to inviting Rafe. Most dinners start with Ward getting small talk with Rafe about work out of the way before he moves on with asking Sarah about a full second-by-second breakdown of her week. And this Wednesday is not any different, but Rafe has something else other than work to talk to his dad about. 

“Actually, Dad, there is something I want to talk to you about,” Rafe brings to the table, looking Ward dead in his eyes. Ward stops chewing, not really expecting Rafe to have anything else to say. Ward tilts the end of his fork toward Rafe, “Okay, what is it?” “I have a daughter. Her name is Stella. She is three years old, almost four. And she looks exactly like me,” Rafe gets everything out in one go. He may have known about Stella for a month now, but he didn’t want to tell his family until he knew he could step up and be the person his daughter needed. This causes everyone at the table to freeze and look at Rafe in surprise. Ward’s eyes narrow; his brows become one. “What do you mean?” he gets out in a rough tone. 

“I mean that five years ago, I had sex with Y/N and she had a baby nine months after that. I didn’t know about Stella until last month. I didn’t want to tell you guys until I was a month sober and certain that I could be there for her.”

“You better tell me that this is a joke because I can’t believe that you could be that much of a screw-up. How do you even know she is your daughter?”

“I told you, she looks exactly like me.”

“How do you know that’s not because you want to believe she does? How do you know that bitch isn’t lying to you? You were so useless that you didn’t even get a paternity.” 

Rafe stands up at what Ward calls Y/N and points a finger at his father. “You have no right to call her that. I know she isn’t lying because I trust her. I won’t make her get a paternity test,” he yells. Ward lets out a low chuckle, “Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. But I’m going to need you to get a lawyer and write up a contract for child support if that’s what the bitch is after. There is no way you are actually going to raise that kid.” “You need to stop calling the mother of your granddaughter a bitch. And why can’t I raise my daughter? You are always telling me I need to take responsibility and I am. Why can’t you just be proud of me?” he argues, his anger getting to a whole other level. The other members of the dinner see that this fight is not about to end any time soon, so Sarah steps in. “Dad, stop. This isn’t going anywhere. And you should be proud of Rafe. He overcame his addiction just so that he could be a better father. That’s amazing and I’m proud of him for that. I, for one, am excited to meet my niece,” Sarah reasons. Wheezie butts in too, “I want to meet Stella too.” Rafe gives them a thankful smile but gets up angrily.  

“Thank you guys for your support. I’ll talk to Y/N to find out when you can meet Stells. Dad, I wish I could say that I am surprised but I’m not,” he begins. “No matter what I do, I will never compare to Sarah and I won’t force you to meet your granddaughter. I think I’m going to go. Goodbye.” Rafe storms out of the house and slams the door. He gets to his truck and is about to drive away, yet he knows he shouldn’t. If he goes now, he is scared it will lead him to Barry’s. Instead, he pulls out his phone and dials a number that recently entered his contacts. “Hey, Button. Is everything okay?” Her voice is like a light guiding him back to home base. He vehemently shakes his head, “No, I’m not. Do you have time to talk?” Y/N immediately stops what she is doing and gives him her full attention for the whole night. 

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @drewstarkeyswifehoe @kisstaya @magicalyoura @mp-littlebit @loverfu55ii @dark1paradise @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @alyisdead @emeloyy @js-a-writer

[mia-ugly]

In honour of Good Omens Season 2

HAVE A SLOW SHOW FICLET with thanks to @weatheredlaw for the amazing graphic ❤️❤️❤️ how we doing fam

It’s a kid on set that first tells him. 

Not really a kid, but anyone less than thirty seems a kid to him these days (ugh, that’s a loathsome thought.) Jiyana’s a queer and pink-haired punk type, rainbow pin on their jacket, trans-pride flag tattooed on their inner wrist. The first time he met them, the whole wirey confident glittery thing made his gut clench with - what was it - joy and gratitude but also envy? Maybe? (because what must it be like to be that young and that certain of yourself? What must it be like to have the whole world open in front of you? Not that there still isn’t a lot of shit to deal with, and in Merry Old fucking England there is More Shit than Otherwise, but. Still. It’s something Crowley thinks about. Sometimes. When he hasn’t had enough sleep or when he’s had too much of it.)

The kid came up to him Day One to mumble about “being a big fan” and once they wore a Warlock t-shirt to an afterparty (“Vintage!” they said cheerily, and Crowley wanted to swallow his own face at the thought of something from the 2010s being considered vintage, good Christ.)

Anyway, Jiyana tells him first.

“Congrats on the new season!” They’re beside him in the makeup trailer. Crowley doesn’t realise they’re talking to him, assumes they’re wearing AirPods or something, until George gives him a nudge with the powder puff.

“Er, yeah, cheers.” It’s too early to talk to anyone this perky. Then his exhausted, coffee-less brain takes a moment to catch up with his exhausted, coffee-less mouth. “Er, wait, what?”

“Warlock. Heard it’s coming back. Did I tell you I wrote a paper on it in, like, Grade 10? So cool, the GSA at my highschool used to have watch parties, I can’t wait to see what they do with your -“

“Wait -“ Warlock? It’s been bloody years. “Where’d you hear this?”

The kid starts to list off some sites or social media whatsits that Crowley has never heard of, so he just nods and pretends to understand, the same way he does when Az’s niece tries to explain some show called “Jojo’s Big Adventure” or something. Validate, validate, empathise. Just like Pepper taught him.

It’s probably nothing right? A rumour.

But it’s a rumour Az has heard too.

When Crowley gets home that night (they’ve rented a house in Buckinghamshire, even though the studio’s not two hours from their cottage) Az is on him immediately. Heard about it from his sister apparently, who got the news from one of the kids.

“Isn’t that exciting?” His face is all lit up and his hair is wet, bathrobe snugly belted around his waist. The house has an indoor pool, and there are little indents on Avery’s nose where his extremely attractive and sexy swimming-goggles must have been resting.

Crowley presses his lips to each mark.

“Not that we’ve been going hungry or wanting for work –” Az continues.

“You work too bloody much,” Crowley murmurs into his cheekbone.

“But I do love those characters. The whole thing wrapped up so nicely though – what more is there to tell?  I wonder what the arc could possibly be.”

“I wonder what you’ve got on under this robe –”

“Anthony!” Az laughs in fake protest, tilting his head back so that Crowley can get his mouth on his throat. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Az tastes like chlorine, and maybe Crowley should join him in the shower after this. After a day in the studio, he could probably use it.

“Would you really want to do a series again?” Crowley asks after he’s finally let his husband go, turned to hang up his coat and thrown his bag on the nearest chair. “Awful lot of commitment. And you’ve that whole run at the Globe coming up, don’t rehearsals start in the spring?”

“We’ll have to see if Helen can mind the goats again while we’re in London.” Az has wandered into the kitchen, turned on the kettle. Crowley looks at the back of his neck (Crowley always looks at the back of his neck. Sometimes he dreams about it.) “If she’s free. I called her this morning to check in, Elmyra’s eating, so her anxiety must be getting better.”

“Cool, yeah,” Crowley says, casual and nonchalant and no big deal. As if Elmyra isn’t his favourite of the bunch and he doesn’t have a song that he made up and no one knows that he sings just to her. As if he didn’t hand feed her all night once because she wasn’t sleeping or eating and neither was he because he was so afraid this tiny rescue goat was going to starve to death, anyway whatever, super cool, who cares. “Is it weird that no one’s reached out to us, though? Do you think?”

“About the goats? Helen has my number –”

“No love, the Warlock thing.”

Az blinks at him, flutters his pretty blond lashes in an attractive, aggrieved sort of way. “You mean you haven’t heard from Beez?”

“I haven’t heard from anyone.”

“Oh.” Az thinks it over. “Well. Neither have I, actually. Do you – is that odd?”

“Maybe they’ve recast us with younger models.”

“They wouldn’t dare.”

“Gotta up the sex appeal of the whole thing. Jawlines. Cheekbones. Sexy results.”

“I –” Az goes a bit pink. Glances at Crowley and then away. “Fail to see how they could improve upon perfection.”

Crowley looks at his husband’s bathrobe and the slight scattering of silver chest hair and his hand on his tea cup and fuck off, his neck. His neck, his neck, who gives a shit about Warlock actually?

 “Come over here and say that to my mouth.”

Avery smiles, and sighs, and he does.

ONE YEAR LATER:

Crowley opens the email from Beez.

He fuckin' closes it.

[returquoise]

ATLALA, aka Avatar the Last Airbender Live Action

Sooooo, I finished the first season and had thoughts (just like everyone else lol). First context, non-spoilery thoughts, and then spoilers under the cut, yadda-yadda.

Why context? Because for a lot of people OG ATLA was their childhood, and they have super strong feelings about it and about any adaptation that exists. I'm not one of those people.

The first time I watched OG ATLA I was over 20 years old, which means I was an adult and had adult viewpoints about the story – worldbuilding, character writing, etc. It was never the hallowed most perfect show ever for me. It was and still is a fucking good show with some amazing writing and worldbuilding but I did have some gripes.

So when ATLALA was announced I remained neutral – I've seen the movie that shall not be named and din't really like it but shitty adaptations have always existed. When we started getting photos and trailers and news pieces, I was feeling pretty positive about the visuals, but neither news pieces or trailers actually tell you shit about what the writing or worldbuilding is like. However, I was about 70% optimistic.

Because what indications I did get about visuals, writing etc, were very reminiscent of another adaptation that had come out recently, about a series that was actually a bit more important to me on an emotional than ATLA. I'm talking about One Piece, and OPLA which came out last August. I've been a fan of that for 10 years longer than ATLA, and while they did a lot of changes, the spirit of the story was there.

So I copied my optimism and good feelings from that, going into ATLALA.

Now, the thoughts.

Visuals are pretty good. There are moments when I can tell they left some visuals out due to trickiness/budget (the "is Zuko's ship real?" review after the premiere). Some things look fake or plasticy, some stuff is too clean. Bending looks a lot better than in the movie that shall not be named.

Writing has issues. Some of it is very expositiony which makes it wooden and the shots uninteresting (there were so many badly framed shots with characters just awkwardly standing and talking). There are some lovely bits of dialogue that gave me feelings, but those moments were in the minority. And some writing choices were also quite childish, even for an adaptation of a kids' cartoon, so I'm a bit confused about the intended age demographic – except there are some really violent bits in there, which leave me even more confused.

Pacing was either frantic or okay-ish. The writers clearly had trouble paring down the OG series, and then ended up cramming stuff together. I could keep up with it (knowing what certain characters roughly meant for the plot, even if they were at a different place and time), but I'm not quite sure if someone uninitiated in the OG series could. The last 2 episodes had probably the best pacing and even then there were some things that made me go "hmmm."

Some actors have issues emoting – main and extras. I agree that the Gaang has lost some of their flaws compared to the OG series. Maybe some of them will make more of an appearance in season two when everyone's more experienced at acting? Especially considering that they'll likely have stuff more spaced out there – there are some episodes I'm pretty sure they'll outright skip, just based on the choices in this season. But we'll see. There were some fun and interesting bonding moments between different characters.

Sokka, Zuko, and Suki were the standouts from the younger cast. Suki is considerably different from the OG but it was acted and written well, and is an interesting choice. Sokka's quips, while not as numerous as in the OG, were fun. Physical comedy is obviously more toned down because real bodies can't do the same shit as cartoons. More about his arc choices later. Zuko was a bit toned down from the OG but IMO also the closest to it. And as someone who's almost finished with a Zuko AU fanfic, I was positively cackling due to the fact that some of the choices made for the character are similar to something I've done in my fic.

As for the rest of the main kids, there'll be more in the spoiler bits, BUT, they're different, and feel less experienced in acting. They're not bad but some choices were definitely different than in the show and they offer interesting opportunities. We'll see how they pan out, but be prepared for some speculation from me.

Fight scenes sometimes had IMO slow moments in the choreo, and they could have been better. Some were excellent, some a bit ehhh.

On the whole, I think this is about 7 out of 10. Some moments were 8 out of 10. It's a passable adaptation

Spoilery thoughts waaaay down.

Whoo boy. Where to start here?

Let's start with the cramming. As far as I can tell from my notes, the episodes are roughly divided like so:

EP1: 3,5 and bits (Boy in the Iceberg, Avatar Returns, Southern Air Temple, half of the Storm, bits of Avatar and the Fire Lord)

EP2: 1 and bits (Warriors of Kyoshi, part of Waterbending Scroll)

EP3: 3 halves (King of Omashu, Jet, Northern Air Temple)

EP4: 1, 4 halves and bits (King of Omashu, Jet, Northern Air Temple, Cave of Two Lovers, half of Winter Solstice P1, bits of the Avatar Day,)

EP5: 2 halves and pieces of 3 (half of Winter Solstice P1, half of Bato of the Water Tribe, part of Southern Raiders, part of the Library, part of Siege of the North) AND timeskip mention of the Great Divide and the pirates from Waterbending Scroll

EP6: 2, two halves and bits (Winter Solstice P2, Blue Spirit, half of Bato of the Water Tribe half of the Storm, part of Siege of the North)

EP7: 2 (Waterbending Master, Siege of the North)

EP8: 2 and pieces (Siege of the North, Return to Omashu, bits of Northern Air Temple, part of the Library)

Waterbending Scroll is a bit of throughline because you see moments of training in pretty much all of the episodes.

Episode 1 was very full, and felt rushed at times. There were a few places where they could have shortened some parts (like the earthbender spy scene at the start) to give more time for other stuff. Biggest gripes are the convenience of timing – Aang going off to clear his head only for everyone to die that very night. HOWEVER, me and my friends talked about it being likely Spirit shenanigans going "fuck, Air Nomads are gonna die now, we need to deepfreeze the Avatar for storage." We also concluded that the sudden current of Sokka and Katara finding Aang was either physics we don't understand, or Spirit shenanigans. Also the thing about all the Air Nomads coming over for the Great Comet festival? And then having so few of them on screen? Sorry, but I ain't buying it. Having such a sparse population in one temple I could have bought (with caveats) but adding in the gathering, nah.

Episode 2, Sokka-Suki was beautiful. I think it works even with the removed downplaying of girls capabilities (this change also brought some other stuff to Sokka I absolutely adored in later episodes but I'll talk about that when I start ranting about the characters). This was pretty close to the OG episode in many ways and I really don't have other problems with it, besides the somewhat childish end discussion about hope and shit with Aang and Suki's mom (Suki having a badass mom is fun). Manifesting Avatars and being able to talk to them only at their shrines will be an interesting take on stuff. Because that will affect some stuff on later seasons and I'm not sure how.

(And considering how scared Aang is of the Avatar State this early on, we might end up skipping the Avatar State in the next season. At least partially. Because we did get a lot of info now.)

That's a very full itinerary and it was hardest to follow at eps 3-4 because there were so many things going on. Jet's and the Mechanist's conflicting storylines made for an interesting drama (though, again, hard to follow) and gave Sokka and Katara something to do – which they didn't really have in the OG Omashu episode, which was what Aang was mostly dealing with here. In my opinion these two episodes didn't get a proper handling, because they're one of the few instances were we get people from the Earth Kingdom doing questionable shit, but we don't really discuss it. And while everyone know marketing is a mistake (it makes no one happy), considering that this series was trying to sell itself as a more mature take, that feeling is left kinda lacking in regards to Jet and the Mechanist. I do appreciate Bumi being fucking bitter, like Yass, you go king, as well as the bit with the Earth Kingdom soldiers speaking of grief and mistreating Iroh. That complexity is what was left lacking with Jet and the Mechanist, and how Katara and Sokka dealt with that emotionally. Also loved Zuko getting hit by a broom and Iroh taking the fall for him. The Zuko-Zhao alliance was an interesting angle to take (after messing it up pfft) and establishing early that Azula is a master infiltrator? I liked that move, also the fact that there are Fire Nation rebels. Although I fucking loved the quick fake marriage.

5 and 6, despite being about as full if not fuller, were weaven together really well in my opinion. My biggest gripe with that two episode storyline was how the Fire Sage Shyu-Aang team-up was done – not that it was any better in the OG to be fair but it is more jarring in live action. I just about died at the 41st twist because holy shit that's an amazing angst take and I appreciate it so much. And while we do get Aang planting an acorn, it feels like a really small moment and I think the Hei Bai issue should have got a bit more attention as the episode was resolved. Koh was fucking terrifying and the appearance of Wan Shi Tong – and in the last two episodes the appearance of the celestial objects calendar machine, as well as the fact that Zhao got his dirt on Tui and La from a Fire Sage – leads me to believe we won't be getting the Library episode next season.

(The only way I can see Return to Omashu happening is if it's remixed with Imprisoned which was totally left out of this season, or we get the important info aka neutral Jing info all from the Swamp, or from a letter Bumi sent. I personally think Return to Omashu-Imprisoned remix is more likely, just so we can prep Teo and the Mechanist for the Day of the Black Sun which we saw flashing by on the celestial objects machine just before we finally got the confirmation that Sozin's Comet is still a thing. Although The Avatar State could also be remixed into this in a sort of "yes, Earth Kingdom needs to free Bumi etc but I can't do it in Avatar State, we need to be smart.")

Episodes 7 and 8 were pretty chill in pacing issues. I thought Yue was a bit too quick in warming up to Sokka but considering how it was explained I can accept it. Also, the fact that Tui and La are intelligent enough to not be fish 24/7/365 is a change that makes sense although the whole Ice Moon (is it the local Halloween?) thing was very out of left field. Women joining the fight was a wild update and definitely more of a modern take than an early 2000s take. Do I have other thoughts? Sure, but I don't want to write bajillion essays and I just want a general overview in one post.

Zuko is, like I said, a standout. Absolutely love his conspiracy board, and as someone who writes a fic with a more scholarly inclined Zuko, I loved him being able to draw, being the foremost Avatar expert in the world (you can't tell me there can be more than one or two people out there who know more than Zuko at this point, look at his research), and having opinions about calligraphy brushes. Ugh, my heart. There's some absolutely wonderful acting happening and he does action really well. Is he a bit less explosive than in the OG? Sure, but one must remember, that adaptations are just licensed fanfics. His abuse background is in the performance, and my biggest question is the Agni Kai. There was a certain desperation in his face, so he must have wanted to make an impression on Ozai, and maybe felt a bit more like he had the right to it – as this show made it clear he had been invited in the War Council and did not needle his way in. Also the 41st twist oh holy smokes I just about screamed. His flaw is still anger and trouble thinking plans through.

Azula (her bangs in the flashback crack me up, was that her emo phase?) is more obviously affected by Ozai's games in this. I know OG Azula has loads of fans and there are loads of deep dives into her character and abuse and etc, but this is actually the first time her writing has made it obvious to me. She's still cold and calculating, but she's affected by more things and that makes her into a more approachable character for me. I know many fans got this from the OG portrayal so I know this is a me thing.

Sokka is another standout. I saw an interview where the actor was like "I tried to interject and ad lib humour where I could" and I appreciate it, because a lot of them made me cackle. There was some really good humour there. As for his arc and conflict; I think it's really interesting that he tries to live up to his dad's image of a warrior, and doing it very much out of duty. It isn't so much that he wants to be a warrior, but he wants to be good enough and I think that came through wonderfully. He can be a warrior, but it ain't his passion. It also offers very interesting bonding possibilities and parallels with Zuko. My heart broke at that ice-dodging scene in episode 5, as well as his heart-to-heart with Katara in episode 4 (fucking SIBLING LOVE TRIUMPHS). Also absolutely loved the fact that he supported Katara being a warrior in the North. His flaws in the OG are self-esteem issues (nailed here), and a certain level of arrogance, that affected his attitude towards girls at times. The latter has been removed but considering it only lasted until episode 4 in the OG series anyway, I don't see it as a terribly big deal. We can still get his "it'll totally work out this way" arrogant moment at pretty much any point in the story in the future.

Katara has trouble emoting. I don't know how much experience her actor has with acting, but I hope she gets better with practice. There are some very nice bonding moments she has with Sokka and Aang that bring emotion out, but she's very stone faced a lot of the time. One could read it as a symptom of seeing her mother being literally burned alive but that depends on how her arc is written in future seasons, and how it's acted. I really like the parallel with Sokka, of him trying to be a warrior out of duty, while Katara wants to be that and has trouble getting the opportunity to do so. This came out really well in episode 4. The fact that she was made a fucking commander of sorts at North was amazing moment of proving to her that she can be, that she is, a warrior. I'm kinda sad her temper has been left out of the writing, because with her being a self-taught water bender (which I'm okay with because we see her practising every fucking episode) there's a threat of her sliding into so-called Mary Sue territory. Hopefully Toph's inclusion brings her temper out next season. She's also missing some of her naiveté, although having a crush on the first good looking outsider (with fucking mirrored shots) just like her brother is hilarious.

Aang is... to mature. He gets a lot of really good and morally and ethically right speeches, and while he expresses that he's scared and doesn't know what he's doing, it still feels too mature. He also doesn't have that many dumbass child moments (what was that episode he just went "oops" in, that was funny and felt childlike, and then there was the water fight he had with Katara). It could be because we're going through stuff so fast but it'll be hard to fix later. I kinda like how his connection with Katara is being the last of their kind and loss – and then the small really good acting in ep7 when Katara says stewed sea prunes taste like home, and you can just see him go "oh, there's still someplace she can belong to, unlike me." I loved his calligraphy brush discussion with Zuko, because there was the beginnings of a bond there. As a friend said, it's nice they removed the Disney princess like love at first sight thing from the OG. If this turns into a romance (I have thoughts on that... later) I feel like it has a better chance to grow organically. No, I never shipped Kataang, please refer to the context part of this post.

Suki had a fun isolated, but curious, and socially awkward vibe to her. She's obviously different from the OG, but it's a fun and interesting difference, as the most characterisation we ever got for her was badass. Yue was interesting, more assertive and playful, which I liked. I also liked the fact that she had obvious duties and was expected to be the next chief. Even if the Northern Water Tribe sexism was kept, this felt like it added some dimension to it. June flirting with Iroh was hilarious, enough said. Mai and Ty Lee are blanks of wood. Their writing, and the direction they were given was horrible, and they're a prime example of that awkward standing and bad framing issue I mentioned way earlier. Ty Lee could have at least been bending herself into a pretzel, and Mai could have been using a knife to dig stuff from under her nails or something. I hope they get better writing and direction in the future.

Iroh was honestly pretty enjoyable. There were some moments of skilled evasive answering, but I was left missing him saying that Zuko was like a son to him. They do have really good chemistry though and you can see the care between the characters. I hated the long monologue at the end of episode 6, that felt very much beneath whatever target audience they were aiming for, and failed show not tell. Not perfect but can improve. Also, that one part where they played Leaves on the Vine, I almost died.

Ozai being a manipulative, abusive game addict is different but offers him some agency and motivation besides megalomania, which I appreciate. He had a peculiar expression when he burned Zuko, and that smells like hidden lore to me.

That's probably every character I feel like addressing at this point. However, I did mention romance in Aang's section, and I have to agree with the other whispers on the net. The fucking scarf scene. At this point, it's more likely for this show to be Zutara than Kataang IMO. BUT before people go and blow up about it, some points; cartoons offer more leeway in visual age differences, I feel like they would need to extend ATLALA plot line to last several years (instead of like, 9 months it's in the OG) to make it visually make sense. The Fortuneteller (as well as Katara's obsession with love?), and Aang's love at first sight have all been written out. Cave of Two Lovers was used for sibling love on the first season, and we ain't visiting that location again, not with how efficiently we did pretty much all of the Omashu stuff this season. Most of the Kataang iconic moments have been left out deliberately. Does this mean we'll get Zutara? Of course not, but due to the scarf scene, as well as that rivals thing they have going (we literally have two fights between Zuko and Katara this season, and the water sprout she used to thwart his fireball in episode one, and if that isn't a traditional beginning of a rivalry, nothing is), it's certainly more likely at this point than Kataang.

But we'll see, just like with everything else. It's an okay start, it's far from perfect, but it does offer new viewpoints that I find fascinating.

What's in the future.

I already explained my Return to Omashu-Imprisoned-Avatar State mash-up idea above, and that we'll likely miss the Library. I also think Avatar Day will be left out. I do however think, that we'll get the Deserter next season. We also need a way for Aang to learn about the Comet coming again and if Library is out (and probably also the Desert), best chances are IMO the Swamp or the Fortuneteller (remixing those two together is also possible). Or maybe Yeong Yeong has spies and they tell him about the Comet and he tells the Gaang. I also think they'll be foreshadowing/setting up White Lotus a bit more than we got in the OG.

I don't quite have my thought together enough to make any other guesses, but we will get Toph, Ba Sing Se, and Azula's Mean Girls Squad, but no clue yet how they'll be remixed. Season 2 has a much clearer timeline structure, whereas season 1 had a lot of episodic stuff that doesn't timeline wise offer too many roadblocks for remixes, as we saw with what they did with Omashu.

I think that's about everything I can think off. If you have comments, please be nice. This was mostly rambling, and tin foil hat baiting.

[bestanimatedmovie]

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Rise of the Guardians:

It's a fun story with good writing and really interesting characters.

I was drawn in by the white haired anime boy when the trailers first dropped, I was further drawn in by the fact that he was also dead (Hurt/comfort angst potential is HOUGH) But also the visuals are absolutely gorgeous and I fell in love with the story of hope and faith and of wanting to be seen. It's such a wholesome movie and I've watched it repeatedly when it came out in theatres. Did I also mention the SOUNDTRACK?! ACK-! I love it!!!

I was here when this film was HUGE on Tumblr and I get so much nostalgia over it, sure, it was a little cringe*, but I had fun and that's what matters <3

The Emperor's New Groove:

Funny, memorable, guy turns into a llama.

This bad boy can fit so many memes! A great movie. Really good story about empathy. Fantastic villain. Fun family dynamics. The main character is FLAMBOYANT. Kronk is in this. I don't know what else you could possibly want. Oh yes, 2D animation my beloved.

The movie has a pretty silly concept but still contains plenty of heart and themes of cooperation and friendship. Plus all of the characters are iconic. They tend to be just a little bit horrible but still loveable (or at least extremely entertaining to watch).

I have loved this movie for 20 years; like 10 years ago I managed to convert my mom and now it’s our Thanksgiving movie. Infinitely quotable. The fact that Patrick Warburton is genuinely so tone-deaf that Kronk’s humming of the Mission: Impossible theme is UNRECOGNIZABLE.

Has the best character development of all time and also a himbo who likes to cook and Eartha Kitt!! my brother and i would always watch this movie on road trips it’s iconic and the best scene is definitely when Kuzco wakes up as a llama in the countryside and both he and Pacha freak the hell out and Kuzco goes “LLAMA FAAAAAACE” it is HILARIOUS amazing movie fr

It’s so well done! The voice acting is great, the whole movie is campy and fun, and it’s a movie about learning to care about other people.

*Mod note: we embrace the cringe in this house.

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

All Too Well // Eddie Munson

request: none

prompts: none

summary: when you started dating eddie, it was the happiest time of your life. but as time went on, eddie started acting different. and the bond between the two of you suffered because of it.

warnings: language, mentions of drinking and drugs, mentions of drug addiction and substance abuse, chrissy’s eating disorder is mentioned briefly, self image issues, allusions to smut, eddie being an asshole, crying, hints at cheating, and a whole lotta heartbreak

word count: 11.6k

a/n: very off character for eddie, does not follow the plot of season four at all, starcourt didn’t burn down, gn!reader, i know it says he’s an asshole in the warnings but he’s not like that the whole time! there’s also no spoilers for season four!

this is the longest fic i’ve ever written, and i’m so incredibly proud of it! i hope you enjoy it!! :)

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

“Come on! Hurry up!” you called behind you as you ran towards Eddie’s trailer.

The two of you had thought it would be fun to go ice skating on Lover’s Lake, but the gentle snowfall soon grew heavier, and the thought of staying outside any longer made you feel like you were going to develop frostbite. Of course you both had the bright idea to walk to the lake, and now had to run back to Eddie’s trailer for shelter.

Your lungs burned, and your cheeks and the tip of your nose were going numb, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Though the date hadn’t been what you had planned, having to watch Eddie struggle to run in the snow was quite amusing. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t struggle either.

When he finally caught up to you, Eddie unlocked the door and you both pushed inside, feeling the warmth of the trailer against your near frozen skin.

“It’s really coming down out there. I’m not sure you’ll be able to get home tonight,” Eddie said as he peeked through the blinds on the window.

You simply smiled as you pulled your scarf off, tossing it away not noticing nor caring where it went, you could always find it later.

“So, impromptu sleepover?” you asked, giggles breaking in through your words.

Eddie ran over to you and tackled you in a hug, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hissed at how cold his lips were, but you didn’t pull away.

“I like the way you think! I’ll make hot cocoa. Why don’t you pick out some movies?”

You nodded, a bright smile ever present on your face, and walked over to the stacks of VHS tapes scattered around the television. Excitedly, you searched through them, finding some of your favorites, and grabbing some of Eddie’s too.

Tonight was gonna be amazing.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

“Oh my god, I love this song!” you said as you cranked up the volume on Eddie’s car radio.

Eddie’s eyes widened as he turned to look at you, feeling a smile begin to grow on his face.

“You like Metallica?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah! You never shut up about them, so I figured I might as well listen to them. Now I get it though, they’re really good!”

“And just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect!”

You laughed at his statement before turning your attention back to the radio. You didn’t know all the words, considering you had only heard the song a few times before. You tried your best to sing along, mumbling whenever you didn’t know the words.

Eddie smiled over at you, and soon enough he began singing along with you. Neither of you sounded any good, but you didn’t care. It was the most fun you’d had all day, having been stuck in a car heading to who knows where. Eddie said he wanted to go on a road trip without a destination. And while that seemed like a perfectly good way to get lost, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no given how excited he was.

When the song finally ended, you didn’t want to stop singing along. Eddie knew all the words to the next song, but you, having never heard it before, made up your own words, much to Eddie’s amusement.

“Making your own remix I see,” he said in between laughs.

“Damn right. It’s the new and improved version.”

“Well I wouldn’t say improved.”

“Excuse me?” You turned to face him, face growing hot with laughter.

The rest of the car ride was filled with awful singing, terrible jokes, and fits of never ending laugh that made both of your sides hurt.

And I know it's long gone and

That magic's not here no more

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

You sat at a table at Scoops Ahoy, impatiently tapping your fingers against the surface. You and Eddie were supposed to meet for an ice cream date almost an hour ago, but he was nowhere to be seen. You had just about given up hope, and were debating on whether or not to just go home, when you finally saw Eddie walking towards you.

“Where were you?” you asked him as he sat down next to you.

“What do you mean?”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago! I was just about to leave,” you replied, hurt evident on your face.

“But I thought you said we were meeting at four?”

“Eddie, it's almost five.”

“Is it?” He checked his watch, and sure enough it read 4:57. “I’m sorry sweetheart, Hellfire ran long again, guess I just didn’t realize what time it was.”

You sighed and nodded. This is the third time this month he’d been late. It was starting to feel as if he’d rather be with his friends than with you. You didn’t mind it when he hung out with other people, but this was supposed to be your time together. And he kept spending it with people who weren’t you. It felt like he was starting to not care as much anymore.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking' over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

I remember it all too well

“Eddie stop!” you yelled at him, jerking his attention back to the road.

Eddie quickly slammed on the breaks, stopping the car before running through the red light. Your eyes were wide as you looked ahead at the cars crossing through the intersection. You turned to look over at Eddie, only to find him looking at you with a slightly amused expression.

“Why didn’t you stop?” you asked, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“I was looking at something much more interesting than the road,” he retorted.

You felt your face grow hot when you realized what he was referring to.

“You can ogle me later Eddie! I’d really prefer to not get into a crash,” you replied, feeling laughter bubble up in your throat despite yourself.

“Fine, fine, fine! I’ll pay attention to the road,” he jokingly grumbled.

You laughed once more and leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder. You looked up at him, smiling.

“I love you, you dork.”

You kept your gaze on him, waiting for any sort of reaction. But he simply kissed your forehead without looking down at you. Even though you were the one who told him to keep his eyes on the road, it left you feeling a little deflated. You brushed it off, telling yourself that he must not have heard you. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that kept thinking otherwise.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team

You told me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

“Eddie, guess what I found?” Eddie’s uncle said as he walked towards the couch you and Eddie were sitting on.

In his hand he held a book that sort of looked like a photo album. Eddie groaned and buried his face in his hands, seeming to recognize it instantly. His reaction only made you even more intrigued in the book, and its contents.

“What is it?” you asked, turning to Eddie.

He didn’t answer you, and instead continued to grumble into his hands.

“It’s his baby photos,” Mr. Munson said teasingly as he sat down next to you on the couch.

“Ooooh! I wanna see,” you said, excitement filling you at the thought of seeing how adorable Eddie looked as a baby.

“No, please don’t,” he whined, finally looking over at you and his uncle.

“Too late,” you replied with a smirk on your face.

Mr. Munson handed you the album, and you pulled in open, looking over all the photos. Your smile only grew wider as you took in all the adorableness. There was a photo of Eddie covered in spaghetti, having thrown it everywhere instead of actually eating it. Another one was of him in the bathtub with a beard made out of bubbles.

“Oh my god, you were so cute!” You giggled as you elbowed Eddie in the side.

His cheeks grew red at your words, and he desperately tried to pull the photo album out of your hands, but you moved it away and continued flipping through it, watching as he grew older in the photos.

“Ohhh, so this was the infamous buzzcut era,” you joked as you saw Eddie’s eighth grade yearbook photo.

Eddie only continued grumbling and pouting as you and Wayne continued flipping through the pictures, and continuing to poke fun at Eddie the whole time.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "Fuck the patriarchy"

Key chain on the ground, we were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now

He's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was

“Eddie, can we talk?” you asked, turning to look over at him.

He kept his gaze on the road, but nodded to let you know he was listening.

You paused for a second, debating whether or not to go through with what you wanted to say.

“How come you never say you love me?”

You could feel the tension in the car grow as soon as the words left your mouth. Eddie still never looked over to you, but you noticed his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“What do you mean?”

You sighed to yourself before continuing, “I’ve been saying that I love you for a few months now, but you’ve never once said it back. I used to think you just kept not hearing me, but I know you have. You’ve heard it every time. Why don’t you say it back? Do you not love me?” Your voice broke as you finished speaking, and you felt tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s all you have to say? Eddie, how can you not know whether or not you love me? We’ve been together for almost a year! Do you really not feel anything?”

“What do you want from me y/n? I said I don’t know! Can’t you give me some time to figure out my feelings?”

“I’ve given you time! I’ve given you months! Ever since I first told you that I loved you, I waited and waited for you to finally say it back! But you never do! And it hurts Eddie. It hurts so much.”

“Well I’m sorry that it hurts you, but I can’t just wake up and suddenly decide that I love you!”

His words were the last straw, and your tears finally spilled over. You reached up and tried to hurriedly wipe them away, not wanting to make a big deal out of them.

“Well if you don’t love me then why are we even together?” you shouted, all your pain and hurt bubbling up to your surface and spilling over.

“I don’t know,” he said sadly.

You looked out the window, not wanting to see him right now. Even though neither of you confirmed it, you could just feel that it was over. And you brought it upon yourself. If only you had just stayed quiet, and waited. Maybe things would’ve been better. But here you were, sobbing your heart out on a road in the middle of nowhere, stuck in a car with Eddie. When all you wanted to was be back home in your bed, away from him.

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

“Y/n, I’m sorry. Please just talk to me. I miss you.”

You stared at your ceiling, listening to the voicemail Eddie had left you. It had been almost a month since you both had called it quits, but you couldn’t bring yourself to even begin to move on. And here he was, calling you up and apologizing. You knew it was never a good idea to get back with your ex, especially considering how things ended. But in the moment, all you could remember were the good moments of your relationship.

Running through the snow together and then spending all night cuddled up together under a mountain of blankets and watching horror movies. Singing along horribly to the radio and making up your own words when you didn’t know them. Looking through his baby photos and calling him adorable just to see him blush.

You couldn’t bring yourself to remember all the times he showed up late, the growing distance between the two of you, the fact that he never once said how he truly felt about you. But in the moment, when you could only remember the good times, you couldn’t find a way to stop yourself from picking up your phone and calling him back. Consequences be damned, you missed Eddie, and you still loved him. And there was no way in hell you’d pass up a chance to get him back.

You sat up and reached for your phone, dialing the number you’ve called so many times. The phone rang a few times, and your heart was pounding so loud you could hear it. Finally the phone was picked up on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Eddie? It’s me.”

And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

As the weeks went on, you started to remember why things had ended with Eddie.

When you first got back together, things were amazing. You were happy again, and the two of you went back to how you used to be almost immediately. You didn’t care about the heartache he caused, or all the self-loathing thoughts. You finally had him back, and you didn’t want to think about the bad memories ever again.

But soon he started showing up to things late again. He never even acknowledged it, and he just went about as if you hadn’t been waiting for his arrival for over an hour. And he grew more distant again. There were less meaningful conversations, and car rides were spent in silence, except for the low hum of the radio.

You could feel rifts beginning to grow between the two of you, but you didn’t want to acknowledge them. You just wanted to be with Eddie, even if it meant forcing yourself to pretend to be happy. You didn’t realize just how much he was hurting you, because even throughout all the shit he put you through, your relationship still had its good moments. And you decided to blindly follow those moments, pushing down everything he did that hurt you.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

You were sat on the couch in Eddie’s living room, crying. You had just had another meaningless fight, and they were seeming to become more and more common as the time went on. You still loved Eddie, part of you thought you always would, but that didn’t change the fact that it still hurt every time you were caught in a screaming match.

You heard the door to his bedroom open, and you looked up to see Eddie walking towards you. His face held a solemn expression, one similar to the look on yours. Wordlessly, he grabbed your hands and pulled you up and into his embrace.

“Dance with me,” he said, beginning to sway the two of you.

“But there isn’t any music playing.”

“Who cares about that? We can make our own music.”

Eddie began humming a tune you recognized, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. You did your best to hum along with him as the two of you danced around the living room. Your tears subsided, and you felt yourself relax into his embrace.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he whispered softly.

“I’m sorry too,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him tighter.

You could feel your sadness melt away, and all you could focus on was Eddie. How his thumbs gently rubbed circles in your back. How he pressed kisses along your hairline, while still humming the song. How his arms tightened around you when you pulled him closer. It’s like he knew exactly how to make you feel better. And even though you were mad at him earlier, you couldn’t be more grateful to be in his embrace.

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear

To remember it all too well, yeah

You were sitting next to Eddie on the couch, the rest of his friends surrounding the two of you. There was some movie that Eddie had finally gotten on VHS and they were all dying to see it. Eddie invited you along too, not wanting you to feel upset since Saturday was usually your date night.

You brushed off your feelings about the change of plans, and focused on how excited Eddie looked. You didn’t even know what the movie you were watching was, nor what it was about, but you didn’t care. You had spent most of the duration of the movie admiring Eddie, and the excitement that flashed across his face throughout the movie.

You slipped your hand over to his, placing it on top and grasping it. But a few moments later, he pulled his hand away. Your heart shattered at the action as you watched him place his hand in his lap, away from you.

You turned away and looked at the ground beneath your feet, willing yourself not to cry. Not here. Not now, in front of everybody. Despite your efforts, you could feel your hot tears begin to fall past your eyes. You blinked hard a few times to push them out before mumbling some excuse and heading towards the bathroom.

Locking the door behind you, you placed your hands on the sink and looked at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, silent tears falling freely down your face. He pulled away from you. Despite everything, all of the shit he had put you through, all the fights, everything, never once had he pulled away from you before. Nothing else he had done had hurt as much as this.

You couldn’t stand to look at your reflection anymore, and instead leaned against the door, slowly sliding down until you were crumpled in a ball on the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest, letting yourself sob freely.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there

I remember it all too well

“You pulled away! Why did you pull away from me?”

After all of Eddie’s friends had left, he had finally noticed that you hadn’t returned from the bathroom. He knocked on the door, and when he opened it he could tell that you were crying. He asked why, and your feelings exploded out, causing you to yell at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Yes you do! During the movie I grabbed your hand and you pulled away? Why didn’t you want to hold my hand? Did you not want your friends to see it?”

“I don’t know, I just did! Why would I care if they saw us holding hands? They all know we’re dating!”

“Why didn’t you want to hold my hand?” you asked again, softer this time, tears threatening to fall for a second time that night.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to hold your hand! I just pulled away! Does it really even matter?”

“Yes Eddie, it does matter! You’ve never pulled away from me before! We’re growing apart again!” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, all the pain you had felt earlier that night returning once more.

“I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of it! So what if I pulled away? It doesn’t matter! Why do you always have to start fights?”

“Oh, I’m the one starting fights? You never pay attention to me anymore! It’s like I’m not even there! You pick apart every little thing I do! It’s like I’m never good enough for you anymore! You always find something that I’m doing that’s wrong! You always feel the need to fix things that don’t need to be fixed!”

“God, what are you even talking about? Listen to yourself, you’re not making any sense!”

“I can’t do this anymore, Eddie! I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time! I’m tired of you acting like I’m not even there! I’m tired of you starting fights over nothing!”

Eddie fell silent for a moment. You felt hopeful, thinking that maybe, somehow you talked some sense into him. And maybe everything could finally go back to how it used to be. But your new found hope was short lived.

“Fine. If that’s how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore.”

“Eddie,” you said barely above a whisper, feeling your very being shatter.

He didn’t say anything else, not having anything else to say. You both stood there in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of everything you both had just said crash down on top of you. After a while, it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything to you anymore. You slowly walked over to the door, and turned around to look at him one last time before leaving, but he wasn’t even looking at you.

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

“Please let me in. I’m sorry,” Eddie said from the other side of your door.

Your parents had let him into your house, not understanding the way things were left between the two of you. So here Eddie was, standing outside of your bedroom door, begging you to give him another chance.

“Things will be different this time, I promise. Just please, talk to me. I miss you so much. Open the door, please.” His voice broke at the end of his sentence and you could hear muffled cries coming from the other side of your door.

Just the thought of him crying made your heart ache. It hurt to know that you were the reason behind your tears. Which was kinda funny considering how many times he had made you cry. But his pleads and broken sobs only a few feet away from you were beginning to wear down your resolve.

“One last chance,” you thought to yourself.

You stood up from where you were sitting on your bedroom floor and slowly walked over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Your heart broke from how miserable he looked. Despite everything he had put you through, it still never failed to hurt when you saw him cry.

Wordlessly you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him flush against you. He wrapped his arms around you as well, tightening his grip as if he were afraid you’d disappear.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m so so sorry,” he muttered to you, still not letting go.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything in return, not wanting to bring yourself out of this moment with him. You had missed his touch, longing for his embrace every single day you were apart. And now that he was finally back in your arms, you never wanted to let go.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell

Every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine

And that made me want to die

“God, you’re so childish! You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” Eddie yelled as he walked outside, pulling you along behind him.

You pulled your hand away from him at his words, causing him to turn and look at you.

“It wasn’t nothing, Eddie! You’ve been avoiding me all night! I only went to that stupid party because you wanted to! But as soon as we get here, you leave me, and you’ve been doing god knows what since!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what that’s supposed to mean! I saw Chrissy eyeing you up, and then I saw you walk off after her! What else am I supposed to think?”

“I didn’t walk off after her! Jesus Christ, you’re delusional! I should’ve known this was never gonna work,” he mumbled the last sentence to himself, but you still heard him.

You stepped closer to him, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to crying.

“What?” you asked him, barely above a whisper.

“I’m almost 21, and you’re not even 19 yet! Sometimes I just feel like you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship.”

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me Munson! I’m not mature enough? Me? Are you fucking serious right now?”

“See, here you go again! You’re always getting so worked up over nothing!”

“And you never care about anything! You never care about me, or anything I want! It’s always just you! We do what you want to do! We only hang out when you have the time! You never make time for me anymore!”

“So what? Am I not allowed to have friends anymore or something? Is that really what you’re saying?”

“I never said that!” You paused for a second, taking a deep breath, before turning around and heading back inside the house.

“Where are you going?” Eddie called after you.

“I need a drink.”

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

Not weeping in a party bathroom

Some actress asking me what happened, you

That's what happened, you

You stepped inside the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear the cheers of drunk kids and the muffled thumping of the blaring music. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, and soon you felt tears begin to fall down your face.

The words you and Eddie had said replayed in your head. He always seemed to twist everything in his favor. He blamed you for everything, coming up with bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse to push the blame away from him. But his latest one hurt you the most. Your age gap? That’s what he decided to go with?

You would admit that it did feel a little weird to be dating someone almost two years older than you, especially after having just turned 18. But he always said that it wasn’t a big deal, that it was never a problem for him.

“Guess that was a lie,” you whispered to yourself, letting out a sad laugh.

You would spend the rest of the night hiding out in here if you had to, not wanting to face Eddie for a while. You had just barely calmed your tears, but the mere thought of speaking to him again brought them back full force. You heard a knock on the door and tried to quiet your sobs, hurriedly wiping the tears off your face.

“Y/n? You in there?” a voice on the other side of the door said.

You wanted to answer, but couldn’t find enough energy within yourself to do so. After a few moments, the voice spoke again.

“It’s Robin. Are you ok?”

Slowly you stood up and unlocked the door, feeling relief wash over you at the sight of your best friend. She stepped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind her. When she turned back to face you, you immediately pulled her into a hug, and began sobbing again.

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, gently rubbing you back as your sobs continued to wrack through you.

“Ed-Eddie,” you mumbled out through your sobs, struggling to say anything else through the force of your tears.

But the one word was enough of an answer for Robin. She knew everything he had put you through, having witnessed most of the fallout first hand. She didn’t try to get you to say anything else, knowing it would only make you cry harder. So she stood there with you, holding you close.

She wanted to tell you to leave him, to dump Eddie and stop going back to him. Find someone who cared about you, someone who loved you. Really loved you. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of that right now. You were already so upset, and she didn’t want to make it worse. She was going to have to wait. One day she would get through to you, and convince you to leave Eddie for good. But that day wasn’t going to be today.

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show

But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come

And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one"

It was finally your 19th birthday. You were so excited, giddy from the thought of getting to see all your friends again. It had been a while since all of you were together in one place since you had all graduated.

The day was going absolutely perfect. You went to the movies with Steve, Robin, and Nancy, and the four of you had spent the rest of the day at the mall. Every time you suggested returning to your house, they pointed out another store, or some kiosk they wanted to stop at. You had a feeling they were stalling you, especially since your parents loved throwing you surprise parties. But you played along blindly, wanting to humor them.

By the time you had all headed back to Steve’s car, you had more shopping bags than you could carry. You, Nancy, and Robin decided to pile all of your bags on top of Steve, finding it absolutely hilarious when he struggled to carry them all.

After packing all of the bags into Steve’s trunk, you all piled back into his car. Steve was always a careful driver, but this was just insane. He was driving so slow, you were pretty sure that if you got out and walked you would arrive at your house first. But no one else seemed to notice, or at least they didn’t say anything about it. You figured that he was stalling again, so you decided that you wouldn’t mention it. If they really were going through all this trouble for you, the least you could do would be to not complain about it.

Almost an hour after having left the mall, Steve pulled up to your house. There were a suspicious number of cars lining the street, and all the lights in your house were turned off. Your suspicions had been right. You smiled to yourself as you hopped out of the car and walked towards Steve’s trunk to grab your bags.

“We can grab those later, let’s just head inside. Alright?” Steve asked, trying and failing to not look like he was up to something.

You nodded and followed the three of them to your front door. You put the key in the lock and turned it, pushing open the door. And just like you had thought, the lights turned on and at least twenty people jumped out and yelled, “Surprise!”

You faked as much surprise as you could muster, pretending like you didn’t have this whole thing figured out hours ago. You were pretty sure everyone knew that you knew, but if they didn’t want to mention it then neither would you.

You looked around at everyone there, feeling your smile grow wider as you saw family members and friends from high school, both of which you hadn’t seen in a while. But there was one person you didn’t see hanging out amongst the small group of people. And though you were incredibly grateful for everyone who did show, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt that Eddie wasn’t there.

It was as if Robin could read your mind, and she slid up right next to you.

“He said he was just going to be a little late. I’m sure he’ll come,” she said, trying to be hopeful.

You nodded, trying to believe what she had said. But as the time went on, and the party was slowly winding down, you could feel yourself losing hope. Even when you were blowing out your birthday candles, your eyes were locked to the front door, wishing that Eddie would show up.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

It had been almost a week since you and Eddie had broken up for the third time. And you were serious when you told yourself that you wouldn’t be giving him any more chances. You had barely left your room at all that week, not having the energy to even get out of bed some days.

You and Eddie had been together for almost two years, and now it was just over. He was the biggest chapter of your life, but now you had to start anew. And you didn’t have a clue where to start. You were so lost without him. It was like everything made you think of him and the time you had spent together.

But you knew that laying in bed mourning wouldn’t do you any good in moving on. If you really wanted to get over him, you would have to get rid of everything that reminded you of him. Which turned out to be harder than you had thought.

You grabbed an empty cardboard box from the garage and brought it back to your room. And then you got to work. You decided to start in your closet, digging through your clothes and finding everything that was Eddie’s. You found one of his leather jackets, his hellfire shirt, and a countless number of band shirts you had stolen during your many sleepovers. You folded all the clothes up and placed them in the box.

Then you turned your attention to your vanity. Stuck on your mirror was a photo booth strip from one of your first dates with Eddie. You smiled sadly as you gazed upon it, feeling both nostalgia and pain wash over you. You set it down, and you glanced over to the small box that sat upon your vanity. Pulling it open, you found numerous polaroids that you and Eddie had taken together. There were some from different dates you had gone on, candids you had sneakily taken of each other, photos from your sleepovers and the pillow forts you had made, and even a few dirty ones that Eddie had suggested the two of you take. Your stomach fluttered a bit when you saw them, but you pushed the feeling away.

You took all of the polaroids out of the box and picked up the photo booth strip again, tossing all the photos in the box on top of his clothes. You now found yourself standing in front of your dresser. A few framed photos of you and Eddie scattered the surface, and the sight of how happy you used to be only made your heart break even more. You turned the frames facedown and stacked them to one side of your dresser.

Your attention then turned to your jewelry stand that stood on your dresser. With shaky hands you reached for the guitar pick necklace Eddie had gifted you. He saw you admiring his own, so he made you a matching one. You used to wear that necklace everyday, but you had barely even touched it in the past few months. You picked it up, along with the locket Eddie had gifted you that had his initials on it and held a picture of the two of you inside. The bottom of your jewelry stand had a ring tray, but only one ring sat upon it. Eddie’s skull ring. You had loved to fiddle with his rings, so one day he slipped one off his hand and onto your own. Just thinking back to that moment had tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You grabbed the jewelry and picture frames, placing them both in the box.

You spent the next hour digging around in your room, finding everything that either belonged to Eddie or had a memory with him attached to it. You were about to put the lid on the box when you turned to look at your bed. On top of your pillow was the teddy bear Eddie had won you on your very first date. It was the fourth of July fair the town had thrown, and that night held some of the greatest memories you’ve ever had. You and Eddie had spent the whole night wandering around, playing games, going on rides, and stuffing yourselves full of junk food. He had even kissed you for the first time on top of the ferris wheel.

You picked up Mr. Snuggles and hugged him tightly one last time, before placing him in the box. You picked up the lid and admired the contents of the box one last time. His clothes, the jewelry, all the photos, every single love letter and note he had written you, every gift he had ever given you, and now, Mr. Snuggles. Sighing to yourself, you placed the lid on the box, and carried it out of your room. You had gone through all the trouble of packing everything up, you might as well go and give it to him.

When you stepped outside of your front door, you saw a package sitting by the doorstep. You placed the box you were holding back down inside your house and picked up the package. It was addressed to you, but there wasn’t a return address. Curious, you carried it back to your room and sat on your bed, opening it.

Your heart broke even more, if that was even possible, when you saw the contents of the box. It looked like Eddie had the same idea that you did, but he didn’t even have the decency to deliver it to you himself, he had decided to mail it.

You carefully pulled the contents of the box out, feeling memory after memory resurface. Most of the box contained your clothes, since you had a tendency to forget something every time you slept over. There was also your old hairbrush, a package of your makeup wipes, one of your old perfume bottles, and some of your makeup that you thought you had lost.

You thought that was everything, but something shined slightly along the edge of the box. You turned it around and saw the Metallica record you had gotten Eddie last year for Christmas. You waited all night outside a record store to get a signed copy for him. He was so happy when he saw you had gotten him a Metallica record, but he absolutely lost it when he saw that it was autographed. But the fact that he just gave it back to you? It made you feel like you had done all of that for nothing.

He had claimed it was his most prized possession, but yet he had given it back. And for some reason, that’s what confirmed it for you. That you and Eddie were really over. Part of you had always hoped that maybe he’d come back to you, having really changed. But that sliver of hope you had held on to was gone now. And the reality of it all finally sunk in. You and Eddie were over. For good. And nothing was ever going to change that.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

You walked into Starcourt, feeling extremely excited. It was only a few days into November, but you were already doing some Christmas shopping. You had been brainstorming the perfect gifts for everyone for the past few months, taking note of anytime they said they wanted something. And now here you were, buying the perfect presents for your friends.

Giving people gifts was your absolute favorite part of the holiday. And so what if Christmas was well over a month away? You couldn’t bring yourself to wait any longer, not wanting to risk running out of time. You looked at all the stores surrounding you, trying to decide which one to enter first. You had a list of what you were going to get everyone in hand, and were trying to figure out which store you should go into first, when you saw him.

Eddie Munson.

You hadn’t seen him since your final breakup last summer, but here he was. Hanging out in the food court with Jeff and Gareth. You couldn’t help but stare for a minute, just overwhelmed with all the feelings of suddenly seeing him again. Gareth looked up and saw you, waving before turning his attention back to the conversation he was having with Eddie and Jeff.

You waved back and began to walk away, grateful Eddie didn’t turn around to see who his friend waved to, when you noticed something. Eddie was wearing a scarf. Which you thought was weird, considering he said he hated the feeling of them. You turned back to look at it once more, and you could almost swear that your heart stopped. The scarf he was wearing was yours. It was the one you had left at his house after getting snowed in. The two of you spent hours looking for it, but you never found it.

Now you finally realized why. He had kept it. He had held on to your scarf for two years. Even when you had broken up and returned each other's things, he kept your scarf. He had to have known it was yours, your grandmother had stitched your name into the corner.

You decided it was finally time to walk away, but the whole time you were shopping it never left your mind. Why did he still have your scarf? And why was he still wearing it? But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't think of any answer other than him missing you. You fought the urge to go find him, despite desperately wanting to. Talking to him again would only make things worse. And you couldn’t deal with losing him again.

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Seeing Eddie with your scarf had left you shaken up for the rest of the day. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even when you got back to your room and collapsed on top of your bed, Eddie was still stuck in your mind. And even though you didn’t want to reminisce about it, your thoughts wandered back to the last conversation you had with Eddie.

“You didn’t show up! You promised me you would be there! I waited all night for you, and you never even called to apologize, or even explain!” you had screamed at him, tears streaming down your face.

It was the day after your 19th birthday, and Eddie decided that it would be a good idea to show up at your house, despite missing the event the day prior.

“God, how many times do I have to apologize! I said I was sorry!”

“But you don’t really mean it! You never do! You’re always late! To everything! But this time you didn’t even show up at all! And the only thing you have to say is sorry?”

“Well what else do you want from me?!”

“I don’t know, an explanation!”

Eddie sighed and shook his head. “No, I’m not dealing with this. The second I tell you, you’re gonna start attacking me all over again. It never ends with you!”

“Where were you?!” you asked him once more, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness bubble up within you.

“I was with Chrissy, alright?! She wanted some weed, so I sold her some. We got to talking, and before I knew it, I had missed your party. There! You happy?”

You froze as the words left his mouth. He missed your birthday party, the one he promised he would attend, because he was with Chrissy?! You could feel the anger within you rise, and you began to shout at him.

“You were with Chrissy?! Are you serious?! You missed my birthday because you were hanging with Chrissy?! God, Eddie! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Eddie went to say something, but you cut him off, wanting to get all of your thoughts out.

“I’ve dealt with this long enough. I’m done with the way you’ve been treating me! You never show up to my things, you never care about my feelings, and you just keep lying straight to my face! I’ve never missed any of your events, your birthdays, anything! I sat through every single Hellfire meeting because I wanted to make you happy! I did everything I could to make you happy! But it was never enough was it?

“All I’ve wanted is for you to be happy. And do you know why? Because I love you Eddie! I’ve loved you since you kissed me at the top of the ferris wheel, and I’ve been falling more and more in love with you every day! And despite all the bullshit you’ve put me through, you’ve never once said it back! Not once! Do you even know how that makes me feel?”

“How can you expect me to say I love you if I don’t?! You can’t just force your feelings onto me, and expect me to feel the same way!”

You paused, all your anger suddenly disappearing and being replaced with the most heartbreaking sadness you’ve ever felt

“You don’t love me?” you asked, your voice falling to barely above a whisper.

Eddie stayed silent, looking past you instead of meeting your eyes.

“Have you ever loved me?” you asked again.

But as the seconds went by and Eddie remained silent, you got your answer.

“Fine. Well I guess there’s no point being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same.”

“Are you seriously breaking up with me over this?” Eddie asked, scoffing slightly.

“Yeah. I guess I am.”

You brought your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face. Reliving the memory brought back all of the feelings along with it. You thought you were over it, over him. But you were wrong. He had left an imprint on you that was much deeper than you had thought it was. And there was a part of you that had begun to think that you might never truly get over him. You would just soon be able to live with the pain.

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Eddie laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. You were there. You were right there, and he didn’t even get to see you.

When he saw Gareth waving to someone from behind him, he went to turn around but Jeff told him not to. Once you had walked away, they told him that you were there. Eddie knew they were just trying to protect him, but he still wished that he could’ve seen you.

He just wanted to see you again, to apologize for everything. He had been such an asshole. A few months into your relationship, Eddie decided he wanted to try something harder than weed. He talked a big game to his customers, but he’d actually never done anything other than smoke. But unfortunately, once he started, he couldn’t get himself to stop.

The majority of the rest of your relationship was spent with him being high out of his mind. He didn’t want to tell you what he was really doing, so when he showed up late he tried to brush it off. And he had a tendency to be more defensive than usual when he was high, so anytime you confronted him, it turned into a fight.

He wanted to stop, truly he did. But it was just so hard. He had begun pulling away from you, figuring that keeping you at an arm’s length would be safer for the both of you. But he had only ended up hurting you in the process.

Chrissy knew about his problems, and had offered to help. She had gotten over bulimia, and while being “addicted” to vomiting wasn’t the same as a drug addiction, she wanted to try to help him anyways. Eddie had been trying to get clean for you before your birthday, but that night he had really bad withdrawal symptoms. He spent the whole night with Chrissy, struggling through them, only to have you dump him the next day, which made him relapse.

He never said “I love you” either, even though he did. He loved you so much. But he was just scared. Saying the words would make everything real, and if he fucked up something real it would only hurt him even more. Only now does he realize how fucked up it was to never say it back, especially after having been together for almost two years.

He had ruined everything, and all because he was scared. He was too scared to come to you for help. He was too scared to admit his feelings. And he was too scared to tell you the truth. But none of that mattered anyways. It was too late now. And you were gone, for good.

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

Only a few days after you saw Eddie at the mall, you saw him again. This time he was just walking past you on the sidewalk. But he wasn’t alone. Chrissy was walking right beside him, and the sight of them together broke your heart.

You had alway thought that maybe he had been cheating on you with her. And who would even blame him? Chrissy was so much prettier than you were. She was well liked, confident, and gorgeous. She was cheer captain in high school for crying out loud. Of course Eddie would rather be with her than with you.

Hurriedly, you walked past them, not wanting to witness the two of them together anymore. You had walked away so fast you hadn’t noticed that Eddie was still wearing your scarf. Or that he looked so happy to just see you. You hadn’t noticed the hopeful look that crossed Chrissy’s face when she saw you walking towards them. She grabbed Eddie’s arm and was trying to convince him to talk to you, when you blew right past them.

Eddie’s face fell as he turned around and watched you walk away. He didn’t even want another chance. He just wanted to apologize. He wanted to explain himself. He was almost two weeks clean, which was a new record for him, and was finally feeling ready to talk to you about it. But you were already gone.

“It’s alright Eddie, you’ll get another chance,” Chrissy said, trying to be positive.

Chrissy’s optimism was one of the things that really helped him overcome his addiction. No matter how many times he messed up and relapsed, she never gave up hope in him. But now her optimism was only bringing him down. Would he get another chance to talk to you? Would you even let him talk to you? What would he even say? He had so much to apologize for, he didn’t even know where to begin. But from the way things were looking, now he might never even get the chance.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

Eddie sat on his bedroom floor, his back pressed against the wall as he clutched your scarf in his hands. He held it close to him as tears began to fall down his face. The way you had looked at him earlier that day, that mix of sadness and betrayal, it wouldn’t leave his mind. All he could see was the pain on your face. And it hurt him even more to know he was the one who caused that.

He missed you so much. So much so that it physically hurt him. Some nights he couldn’t even sleep in his bed because it made him think of you. You had made so many memories with him inside his bedroom walls, and everytime he stepped foot into his room, he remembered them all.

The time he had tried to teach you how to play guitar, but you had made no progress since the both of you couldn’t stop laughing. The first time you had made a pillow fort on this bed, and the second time, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth. Countless mornings spent tangled together, just soaking up each other’s presence. And all the intimate moments you had shared on this very bed. He remembered all of it. Everywhere he looked brought up a different memory of you. He couldn’t escape it, and despite how much it hurt, he didn’t want to. He was grateful for the memories, because even though you were gone, he could still relive all the happy moments he had with you, even if it was only in his head.

All he wanted was another chance. But he knew he could never put you through that. He had already hurt you so much, and he didn’t want to risk doing it again. Even if he was clean now, he knew getting back with you was a bad idea. He didn’t want to risk relapsing and hurting you again, and he didn’t want to have to drag you back into the mess he called his life.

So he would just have to learn how to live without you. Even though he knew it wouldn’t be possible. He could survive without you, sure. But he would never be able to live. Not when you were the only person who ever truly made him feel alive.

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

You sat on your bed, staring out of your window and watching as the snow fell to the ground. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the time you and Eddie spent all day outside in the snow before getting snowed in at his trailer. That was still one of the best days of your life.

You taught him how to ice skate, and even though he was still horrible at it by the end of your lessons, he was at least falling over a lot less. You had decided that you wanted to make a snowman, and you had challenged Eddie to a snowman building contest. But just as you were about to finish your snowman, a snowball hit your back.

You turned around to find Eddie facing the other direction, attempting to look busy, but you saw right through him. You quickly made a snowball and chucked it at him. You had both forgotten about the snowmen you were building, and ended up having the most epic snowball fight of your life. And you had won of course. He claimed that he let you win, but you knew the truth.

When you laid on the ground to make a snow angel, the snow soon began to fall harder, and the wind picked up. You and Eddie grabbed your things and took off running for his trailer, not wanting to get caught outside in the snowstorm. After you finally got back, and changed into some of his pajamas, Eddie handed you some hot cocoa and then you spent the rest of the night watching movies, cuddled together on the couch, until you both fell asleep.

Even now, two years later, every time you saw snow you couldn’t help but think of that day. Looking back on the memory, you felt yourself smiling. Maybe your relationship with Eddie wasn’t all bad.

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us, I remember it all too well

“Ok, so you don’t want to talk to them?” Chrissy asked, looking at Eddie from across the picnic table.

Eddie nodded.

“But you still want to apologize?”

“Yep,” Eddie replied.

He was beginning to feel hopeless. He knew you would never talk to him again, but he still wanted to apologize. He felt like he owed it to you. A proper apology for all the bullshit that he put you through. But he had no idea where to start. So he called Chrissy and asked her to meet him at the picnic table in the woods.

They spent the first half an hour just trying to figure out what he should say, when he said that doing it face to face wouldn’t be the best idea.

“Hmm,” Chrissy thought, tapping her figure against her chin. “What about calling them?”

“It’s the same thing. They’d hang up before I could even get two words out. This is hopeless!”

Eddie sighed, and put his head down on his arms which were folded up on the table. Chrissy stayed silent for a minute, pondering another way he could apologize and actually get you to hear him out.

“Not necessarily. I think I have an idea! Come on!” Chrissy stood up and walked to the other side of the table, pulling Eddie up as well.

“Where are we going?” he grumbled, following her as she dragged him through the woods.

“Back to your trailer. I think I finally figured something out!”

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

“Do you really think it’s gonna work?” Eddie asked, looking up at Chrissy who was standing beside him.

Eddie sat at the kitchen table, his notebook open in front of him, and holding a pen in his hand. Chrissy had suggested that he write you a letter. That way he could say everything he wanted to say, and if he didn’t sign it until the end, then hopefully you would read it instead of throwing it away immediately.

“Yeah, I do! And besides, what’s the worst that could happen? They don’t read it? Then we try something else! They deserve an apology, and I know you really want to give one to them. I’m not going to give up that easily, and I’m not going to let you either!”

Eddie smiled at Chrissy’s words. It had been a while since he’d had a friend this dedicated to helping him. Sure he had Jeff and Gareth, but when he told them about having been dumped by you for the final time, they just said that it sucked and that they’d help him move on. Which sure, that was nice and all, but Chrissy wanted to help him make things right. And that meant so much to him.

So he began to write. First he just wrote down everything he needed to apologize for, wanting to make sure that he didn’t forget to include anything in his letter. By the time he had finished, the list was very long. But he didn’t want to leave anything out. He wanted to apologize for all of it. Then he began to draft. He had written ten letters already, deciding that each one wasn’t good enough.

“It’s ok. You got this Eddie,” Chrissy reassured him.

Eddie flipped to the next blank page and began writing once more. He made sure he apologized for everything that he needed to, but he didn’t stop there. He came clean about everything. About his struggles, his feelings, and why he had begun to pull away from you. He knew he didn’t deserve another chance with you, but he still wanted you to know how he really felt.

When he had finally finished, the letter was almost three pages front and back. It was a lot longer than he had expected it to be, but that didn’t matter. He had said everything he needed to say and then some. Now he just hoped that you’d read it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Eddie and Chrissy walked to your house, which wasn’t that far from the trailer park. Memories of the last time Eddie had been there played in the back of his mind. He could feel his heart pounding as he got closer to your front door. Chrissy stayed at the end of your driveway, wanting to let Eddie do this by himself.

His hands were shaking as he arrived in front of your door. Anxiously, he turned around to look at Chrissy, who nodded encouragingly, and gave him a thumbs up. Eddie took a deep breath in as he turned to face your front door once more. He placed the letter on the ground right in front of the door, and then he rang the bell. He quickly ran back down the driveway, and he and Chrissy hid behind a car that was parked on the side of the road, watching the front door and hoping that you would get the letter.

Only a few moments later, your front door opened to reveal you standing behind it. You looked around outside, a bit confused, before your gaze fell to the letter on the ground. You picked it up and saw your name written on the envelope. There wasn’t any address or stamp, so you figured that whoever had written this had hand delivered it.

You went back inside, letter in your hand, and walked towards your bedroom. After sitting down on your bed, you stared at the envelope in your hands for a good few minutes. Something about the whole thing seemed strange to you. Like whoever had written you this letter had deemed it so important, that not even the post office could be trusted with it.

You had half a mind to throw it out, not wanting to bother reading a letter from some stranger. But your curiosity got the better of you, and you pulled the letter out. You unfolded it and saw that it was three pages long.

Before you could even read it, you recognized the handwriting. It was Eddie’s. You felt like you should’ve just thrown it out, not wanting to bother hearing anything that he had to say. But that fact that the letter was both hand written and hand delivered made you realize that it might actually be important. So you began reading.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Dear y/n,

I know sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. Especially after everything that I’ve done to you. To us. But I just had to apologize. For everything. Or at least everything that I can remember. I’m sure that there’s more that I don’t, but I’m sorry for all of that too.

I’m sorry for being late all the time. I’m sorry for not showing up to any of your things, but still expecting you to show up to mine. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve lied, and all the times that I’ve made you feel crazy because of that. I’m sorry for leaving you alone at parties, without giving you the real reasons why. I’m sorry for pulling away from you, emotionally and physically. I’m sorry for all the fights. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry for every single time that I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry for never telling you the truth. And I’m sorry for never saying I love you.

That’s my biggest regret. Never getting to tell you how I truly felt, because I was just too scared to say it. But I do love you y/n. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. I love you so much it scares me. That’s why I never said it back. I was scared that if I said how I felt, then you would suddenly wake up and realize you didn’t want me anymore. And I knew that saying how I felt would only make it hurt that much more if we broke up. Well look where that got me, huh?

And I’m sorry for never telling you why I was acting the way I was. I was too scared to go to you for help, so I went to Chrissy instead. That’s why I left you alone at that party when I followed her off, and that’s why I missed your birthday party. The truth is, I was struggling. A few months after we started dating, I started doing more than just weed. And I got addicted. It was really bad. I didn’t realize it then, but being high all the time turned me into such an asshole. And you didn’t deserve that.

I tried to get clean before your birthday, but the night off I was going through horrible withdrawal symptoms. Chrissy came over and helped me. And I went over to your place to apologize the next day, but I was too scared to tell you the truth. And then you ended things. I relapsed again after that, but then I realized that it would never make me feel better. Drugs are what ruined everything in the first place.

I finally got clean after that. And I haven’t relapsed since. I wanted to apologize to you when you were walking past Chrissy and I, but you walked off so fast. And I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.

This was the only way that I could think of to apologize without you running away. Well technically Chrissy thought of it, but I wrote the letter so that has to count for something!

I’m not asking you for another chance. I don’t deserve that. And you definitely don’t deserve having to put up with my shit again. I just needed to apologize. For everything. I know I hurt you so many times, and that’s one of my biggest regrets. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did, and know I have to live with that. But I just hope that this makes things better. Even if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine. I just need you to know how sorry I truly am.

I hope you have a great life, y/n. I hope you find someone who loves you, and treats you better than I ever did. I hope that you find real happiness, and that no one ever hurts you like I did. Because you deserve so much better than that. You deserve the world and more! And I hope you find someone who can give it to you.

I’ll always love you, y/n. I always have and I always will.

Love, Eddie

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

[narumi-gens]

I just saw the zone of interest and despite it being a very serious movie, had an almost comically absurd experience.

I showed up as the trailers were playing and they sound was wayyyy off, like everyone was speaking through a can and zero bass. so I'm kind of worried but hope it's just the trailers. and then the movie starts and it's a very arty movie so the first like 5 min are just a black screen and the score going wild, but I couldn't tell if anything was wrong and then the sound cuts out altogether but it's still a black screen. and everyone is just sitting there in silence for a good 3-5 min thinking "well, it's an arthouse movie so this is normal" until an employee comes in and says "there's a problem with the sound, so we're trying to restart the movie." and so everyone sits there in the pitch black and totally silent for another 5 min.

then the movie starts over again and we have to sit in the dark with a black screen for another 5 min and the score going wild. and then the movie opens, but there's zero dialogue for another 5-10 min, so the entire time I'm just like "oh no, is it fixed??" then finally characters start talking and the sound was fixed and my poor little film nerd heart was so relieved bc the sound design was amazing and I was so worried I was going to miss it.

anyway, def recommend seeing it, it's super timely, but what a movie-watching experience. go back to the cinemas ppl!

[absolutebl]

helloo...

i know i'm late, but i just binge watching Triage last night. i kinda love it that the mystery about the story revealed gradually. and the leads had nice chemistry, despite the low heat. and i enjoyed bingeing on it and pulling an all nighter.

so, i'd like to ask you, do you have any recommendations on bl series like Triage that are completed or ongoing, that the show would be enjoyable on binge watching?

it's super fine if you don't answer this.

thank youu and have a nice day.

10 BL Series to Binge Watch with Complex story elements

Okay, I'm not really a binger so these are my best guesses at keeping the tension alive. Also it seems like you want something on the meaty end in terms of length so only Thai and Taiwanese stuff qualified.

Case study: Triage (so obviously that would be on this list)

1 Until We Meet Again

YouTube

Without question, a work of narrative genius with a powerful and cohesive romantic backbone and stellar performances. It is (to date) the only Thai BL (of c.250 watched) that I’ve rated a 10/10 predominantly on the basis of story structure. That said it is also very well cast (and it’s a BIG cast), with solid production values, and enduring pair branding as well as being the best Thai BL from a storytelling perspective. I think the story is good enough to carry the tensions. I also binges this on my first watch (it was already out when I discovered it) so I can attest to it being bingable. More discussion on why I love it so much here.

2 He's Coming to Me

YouTube

Boy and ghost boy fall in love, must solve ghost’s murder. Peak pining but also pretty tame, features my favorite sweet but important coming out sequence. The third in my precious triumvirate of unbeatable Thai BLs, that are only nominally BL because the story, acting, and production values are so good. (Together with UWMA & 1k*).

3 Not Me

YouTube

GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL, OffGun and THIS WAS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience at the time - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly has a lot of BL elements, but in the end romance was not what this show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still a remarkable moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review.

4 I Feel You Linger in the Air

grey (YouTube for some)

I truly loved this time travel romance BUT for the ending it would have gotten a 10/10 from me. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. If HEA's are NOT important to you, you'll be fine, but I struggled. More here.

5 Kiseki: Dear to Me

Gaga & Viki Y

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan. (Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma.)

6 Make a Wish

grey (Trailer)

(from Sammon - Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel to try and cure himself - naturally they fall in love. Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are often too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

7 HIStory 3: Trapped

Viki

Basically the definition of enemies to lovers from Lin Pei Yu. This is a cop + the mafia man he is chasing but WAIT, they fall in love. Added bonus side couple: assassin and nerd cop ALSO falling in love. It’s great. All the leads are stellar. Its high heat, fun action, and a bit of a mystery drama but pretty about all of it. My only warning is that the main couple doesn’t entirely end up together, it’s implied, but… amorphous ending.

8 Never Let Me Go

YouTube

Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t). Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs in 2023 this is one of the most successful IMHO. It's typically Thai in that it's a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. The Our Skyy 2 follow up is great too. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than 12.

9 The Eclipse

YouTube

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just "a good show." We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

10 Ghost Host Ghost House

YouTube

This is light horror combined with family drama built around a well executed BL trough-line that felt honestly queer with fantastic chemistry from the lead pair. (I hope that we see more of them.) Pluem delivers the softest most seductive krap ever, Tod Techit (Kewin) is one of the prettiest humans on the planet, and watching these boys flirt over noodles is an unalloyed pleasure. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute as well. For me, personally, the surrounding cast, premise, and story didn’t resonate but if you like a touch of gothic in your BL this might appeal.

BONUS!

3 Will Be Free

YouTube

Queer AF crime thriller about three 20 somethings on the run after accidentally killing an assassin: a grifter, a nerdy mafia kid, and a stripper. They're chased by more assassins out for revenge.

It’s actually a remarkable piece of storytelling, using a pressure cooker of tension and suspense to bring about investigations into what love, romance, friendship, and identity actually mean. This show probably doesn’t qualify as BL but it does qualify as very very queer.

What it does well is examine many different aspects of queer identity, morality, and life choices based on repression and or acceptance of that identity using the framework of a crime triller.

It’s an adventure narrative, our three main characters are on the run together, being chased by assassins who are themselves dealing with the grief that results from love, all kinds of love. Meanwhile the 3 protagonists fall in love with each other and explore the boundaries and meaning of friendship/love.

Manner of Death

WeTV

Gay romantic suspense series with added cactus baby. Doctor & Mafia boy can't keep hands off each other, so also end up with chili plant baby.

Am I making sense? No? Well neither does it, but ho boy is it fun to watch MaxTul do... whatever it is they're doing.

I like MoD a lot but I’m conflicted over it being actual BL. It’s a great gay romantic suspense, although the mystery element is its primary weakness.

MaxTul, the Kings of Chemistry, are, of course, perfect and perfectly cast (and chemically unfair), but their romance thread is more a distraction than an addition. Still, I could watch them make-out the phonebook. Watch along here.

(source)

[mmoodd-jobutupaki]

*takes a deep breath* AHHHHHDKAJFKSJA

I JUST WATCHED BOY AND THE HERON AND I LOVE IT SM AND IT'S SO GOOD.

So obvs, it's studio ghibli, it's gna be some of the prettiest stuff you've ever seen. So many scenery frames made me think "I'm gna scour the internet for them and repaint them as art practice. It resembles smudgy oil paintings rather than studio ghibli's gouache style (see spirited away, Totoro) but it's honestly beautiful nonetheless, and seeing it on the big screen made me feel like I was in the movie. There's even a stone passage that looks like the one from Coraline. The animation works so smoothly to make the film an overall wonderful immersive experience.

The character design was so good. You have your classic ghibli, countryside, apron wearing girl. Your boy with spiky hair. And probably the best addition of a butch seafarer, Kiriko, dubbed by Florence Pugh (oh my goodness I am too gay for this). The grannies were so inexplicably lovely and visually distinct I just want a hug from them. The wizard (Mark Hamill having this otherworldly yet grounded design and amazing hair. The heron was oddly grotesque without being scary (this is such a gift only japanese have.) and his various designs fluctuate along with the story. I was surprisingly intrigued by the fact that even in crane form, he had human teeth. And ofc THE WARAWARA.

GOSH THEY ARE ADORABLE I LOVE THESE DAMN TAPIOCA PEARL LOOKING THINGS THEY HAD ME SQUEALING IN THE THEATRE EITH HOW CUTE THEY ARE.

The score is beautiful and I dare say that it's on par, maybe even better than the Spiderverse score (and that's REALLY HIGH praise coming from me, I love the Spiderverse score to the point where it's on my Spotify wrapped.) I loved how the use of motifs, especially in relation to magic in the film. And definitely need to go give it more listens. 11/10 would recommend listening to it even outside of the film, it's just that great, give it a Grammy or smth.

Humor in this film is hilarious without being corny. It's very on the nose, what's currently happening in the scene humor. Characters (won't say who) also have amazing dynamics that supply a lot of humor for the film. Obviously we have that last snippet from the trailer and I'll give you this out of context "Mahito's turned into a parakeet"

The story is very easy to follow. The first half of the story is very grounded. And even in the second fantastical half, the visuals and little sprinkles of just the right amount of information help to guide us through the amazing fantastical world. Nothing ever feels too spoonfed to the audience or too overwhelming.

Spoilers below the cut

Character was great too. The main cast each have a very touching emotional aspect and nothing is what it seems, not from the trailers and not even within the show. Characters go on journeys you never could've expected from the beginning of the show. Such as the heron, who I genuinely thought from trailers was gna be the bad guy but turned into a genuine, squat goblin companion. And the parakeet king goddamn I thought he was gna be a good guy with his "we must protect this world" gig, not some giant cannibalistic parakeet with a surprising penchant for sneaking. Anyway, I especially loved how we meet characters almost multiple times with how we're introduced to different versions of them. Kiriko>>>

The moral of this story had me confused ngl, but I'm fcking dumb and need to go read some analysis so ignore this. The main message I got was that "Life is shit. But it's worth living and I can make it better for myself. Through friends, I don't have to be alone through it all" which made me tear up ngl since I've been struggling with life this year and seeing how our boy Mahito went from being a closed off lil squat to that *cries*. Personally I interpreted the great granduncle and his blocks as seeing what's wrong with the system the older generation has built, and demanding more from it/straight up turning away from it. Also Mahito learning to let go of his mom. The pelicans wanting the best for their children and not always liking what they have to do for survival as a link to war soldiers @hamable . I also read from @simplysparrow14 and @rockpaperimpala the film is also Miyazaki coming to the realisation that 'studio ghibli will be his legacy and it will be put to rest, it won't be the same if continued without him and that's okay' and ow I just got hit in the feels.

To summarize the boy and the heron excelled, slaps, is show stopping, brilliant, awesome, a true work of art and soul and 11000/10 go watch it ON THE BIG SCREEN I am not joking.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group J Round 1: #J3 vs #J6

#J3: Cat demon stuck in cat form, gets adopted as a pet.

XiaoHei is a young cat demon training to be an Executor, someone who maintains the balance between humans and demons. His first mission as a trainee was to steal the Sky Pearl. He succeeded, but he also got injured enough to be unable to revert to his human form. Stuck in his cat form, he gets adopted by the human girl XiaoBai as a pet. The story then follows XiaoHei’s adventures as a pet cat in a human home while also evading the pursuit of his enemy, Diting.

#J6: Students transported to bizarre new realities

Thirty-six students find themselves and their school building suddenly adrift in a void-like dimension. When supernatural powers awaken in some of them, a sense of detachment begins to divide the group. Despite the student council's attempts to impose order, they clash with the students possessing special abilities, who rebel against their strict control.

This conflict leads them to discover that this world has its own set of rules—and following them is necessary for survival. After one of the students decides to take a leap of faith, the school switches dimensions once again. While they deal with the unique challenges and circumstances that each world presents, the students must unravel the mysterious phenomenon and find a way back home.

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#J3: Legend of Luo XiaoHei (series) (Luo XiaoHei Zhan Ji)

[Submitter: Now, I could not find a single trailer for season 1, and this show doesn’t have an opening sequence either, so I’m sharing the s2 trailer instead. It’s not spoilery, so you can watch it.]

Propaganda:

Demons try to coexist with humans and maintain balance; however, most humans aren’t even aware of their existence. XiaoHei himself has had little interactions with humans aside from his master—who doesn’t count since he’s feared by both humans and demons alike. It isn’t until XiaoHei meets XiaoBai that he actually learns more about them and their way of life. Slowly, he gets drawn to the human life and also learns to have fun just like the human kids his age.

But then there’s the antagonist, Diting, who’s out to retrieve the stolen Sky Pearl. As XiaoHei battles with him, we, along with the human characters, learn more about the magic in the world—And I absolutely love this gradual way of unfolding the lore to us viewers. The worldbuilding is quite intricate, but not once does it ever feel overwhelming.

The fight scenes of this show are also very immersive. I don’t know what technical terms to use to describe it, but I love how it’s not just the characters moving around but also our perspectives. It feels as if we’re also fighting along with the characters.

But although there are a lot of fight scenes and supernatural stuff thrown in, at its core, LXH is a story about a young demon learning that there is more to life than magic and fighting. It’s about XiaoHei discovering what it is he really wants to do without fear of losing what he calls his home, for home will always be with him.

The s2 trailer I shared may be action-packed, but s1 is actually more of a slice-of-life. And oh, don’t be mistaken by the fantasy-looking setting in the trailer; this story is set in modern times. The plot of s2 is XiaoHei continuing his training through a virtual reality game (like the Greed Island Arc in Hunter x Hunter), but this time, he brings his human friends with him.

Both S1 and S2 combined, there are only 40 episodes. That may seem a lot, but each episode is only 5-10 minutes long. You can binge everything in a day. But even though it’s short, the show does not lack anything. There are colorful characters, amazing animation, hype fight scenes, interesting supernatural stuff, and also a cute cat. The art style is also nice, reminiscent of Studio Ghibli (and there’s even a Howl’s Moving Castle reference in S1E1!)

Both seasons are something that you can watch when you don’t have much time and energy for plot-heavy stuff but still want something exciting. Even if you end up not voting for this show, I really hope you consider checking it out, as well as its movie. It really is such a beautiful and comforting show.

P.S.: This series takes place about three years after the events in the movie (which has the same title in Chinese, but is more known as simply “Legend of Hei” in English). The series aired first before the movie, though, so it doesn’t matter (still, I recommend watching the movie first).

Trigger Warnings: Child death (it’s fake, but the characters’ reactions feel so real), teens/adults fighting children. XiaoHei is a great fighter, and the people that can match with him are only those older than him.

#J6: Sonny Boy

Propaganda:

Sonny Boy is one of the best shows to come out in recent years. The setting and plot is very fantastical, with superpowers and dimension travel, but fundamentally the story is about the characters. The character writing is really unique. Even the side characters feel like real people, not just cheap gimmicks.

But the main draw for a lot of people are the visuals. Sonny Boy looks like no other anime. The backgrounds are just absolutely stunning, and the realistic character design helps contrast the unreality of the world. There are these amazing visual sequences that just blow you away with how creative the writers must be.

I can't say much without spoiling but it's the kind of show you just have to experience. This is the kind of show where people either love it or hate it. If you are looking for clear, linear storytelling, this is not the show for you. If you're looking for a straight mystery where everything is solved in the end, you might be disappointed. If you want to cry, and feel something, and think about what it means to be alive, then I cannot recommend a better show.

Trigger Warnings:

Animal death - a bird died and is used as a metaphor

Flashing lights - many weird kaleidoscope effects and other sequences

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[pretty-unglad-you-were-born]

3 stars is very generous coming from you🤨😂 Did you like it?? I have to wait until Sunday

here's some thoughts but keep in mind idk much about dune, didn't like the first one too much and only went to see this for z

without spoilers:

- 😢chani bunny😔 is truly the heart(break) of the movie, z's performance is the best part of it all and she steals the final scenes

- same for timothée nothing too crazy at first but he shines at the end where he completely transforms into another character and austin was fun to watch, i wasn't expecting him to be so present, i think he appears just as much or a little less than chani?

- the first hour is good, rebecca gives the best performance here

- the second hour is where i zoned out a little bit and was bored by the end of it. i was struggling to follow some of the storylines at times especially when they moved away from arrakis but this has more to do with me not being into the other characters rather than the movie itself

- the last 40 minutes are my favorite and save it all, it felt like a different movie and the ending is really interesting and leaves you wanting to see the next one

- i don't know if people who didn't like the first one will like this one, there's a lot more things that happen but it's still 90% fights and action sequences/10% calmer and more human moments but regardless i still enjoyed it and didn't feel like it was too long despite the 3 hours

- if you're wondering about z's screentime she's pretty present at the beginning, disappears in the middle but she comes back to eat the last part of the movie like if you don't come out of it thinking about her and her only you're a lying liar

all in all amazing performances (especially z's), visuals and sounds but i couldn't get myself to care too much about the stories that weren't chani's

with spoilers:

- it ends with a powerful scene of chani alone in the desert to remind you once again that she is the star of the movie

- there's no paul/chani baby but they do make sure to show her putting her blue scarf around her arm at some point towards the end which i don't know if it's supposed to mean anything

- i liked the betrayal parts of paulchani's story way more than their happy moments which i thought were weak and most of it was already shown in the trailers/bonuses

- i feel like irulan was not portrayed as a bad person at least not as bad as some of the other characters but her introduction to paul's life and their agreement was way too rushed

- if you walk out of this thinking paulchani is "a beautiful love story" you have issues or you blanked out in the middle of the movie and started daydreaming about your dinner like me

[alotofpockets]

Love interest | Hailee Steinfeld

Pairing: Hailee Steinfeld x Reader

Request: Hailee Steinfeld x reader: Reader is in a Marvel movie and plays Kate's love interest and while they're on a break, and whenever Jeremy and Florence catch the two doing a couple thing, they poke fun both for that.

A/N: This is my first ever Hailee fic, I hope you like it!

masterlist | requests: open | taglist | words: 1050

You're on set filming for Hawkeye. You play a character that they're introducing to the show as a love interest for Kate, meaning you spend most of your shooting days with Hailee and quickly grew close with the woman. You had met her a few times before being cast on Hawkeye together, same as with Florence and Jeremy, but never more than a quick hello at a premier.

The whole process of Hawkeye had been an amazing experience for you. When you auditioned for the love interest part, Hailee had already been cast as Kate. So, you were brought in for a chemistry read with her. It was clear to the casting director even before the two of you even started reading lines, that this was a great combination. Of course, you still had to read the lines, but that just made it even more clear that they had found the perfect combination.

You've become great friends with your castmates, it was really a fun team. You had gotten especially close with Hailee and Florence, since you were all around the same age. So, it was no surprise to Florence and Jeremy that when they came back from filming their scene they found you and Hailee hanging out together. However, Florence noticed there was something different about it this time, the two of you were sitting very close together. Florence raised her eyebrow to Jeremy who just shrugged his shoulders. Florence took that as a sign to drop it. For now, at least. They joined you for lunch until you and Hailee were called to the main stage for your next scene.

When you were done with, yet another scene Hailee went back to your trailer with you and stayed to hang out. It was nice not being in your trailer all alone, you definitely hadn't gotten used to that part of being in the acting business.

In your trailer you grabbed the both of you a drink before joining Hailee on the couch. "You did amazing in that scene, Hails." You complimented her as you handed her the drink. She clinked it against yours and said, "You were pretty amazing yourself, babe." You blushed at the nickname and tried to hide your face by looking the other way. Luckily Hailee didn't notice, or at least she pretended that she didn't.

You turn on the TV and continue watching the show you had started together during your breaks. Not soon after you pressed play the two of you were sitting right next to each other again, knees and shoulders touching. It gave you butterflies in your stomach instantly, but you loved it.

Halfway through the episode a scary scene came on you hid your face in Hailee's neck, she reacted with a small chuckle and placed her arm protectively around your shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." You stayed in the comfort of her hold. Your head laying on her shoulder and her arm hanging comfortably around you.

You were too comfortable to get up when you heard a knock on your door, so you loudly spoke, "Come in." With that the door opened and Florence and Jeremy walked in. Florence noticed the way the two of you were sitting. With a big smile on her face she said to Jeremy, "See, I told you something was going on with those two." This time Jeremy agreed, "Okay okay, you're right.” Then he turned to you, “But love birds, we've got a group scene in 10. So, let's put a hold on the cuddling and get to work, shall we?" He might have some seniority over you, but you all know he was messing with you just as much as Florence was.

Florence and Jeremy leave your trailer with a blushing Hailee and you behind them. Their jokes don't stop you from reaching out for Hailee her hand though. Once they touch Hailee smiles and intertwines her fingers with yours. You walk the rest of the way with the biggest smile on your face.

When you're done filming for the day Hailee walks up to you. "Hey, do you maybe want to go out and get some dinner with me?" She looks a bit nervous before she adds, "Like as a date." Your smile grows even bigger. "I would love to go on a date with you!"

"Yay, I'm so excited." Hailee says as she moves closer to give you a hug. "How about I pick you up from your trailer in about 30 minutes? That way we both have time to take a quick shower and change into our own clothes." You agree with the time and you both head your separate ways.

Exactly half an hour later Hailee knocks on your trailer door. "Hi, are you all ready to go?" You nod and step out of the trailer, "I am." You say taking the hand she reaches out to you.

You have an amazing time at dinner, so much so that you both don't want the night to end yet and end up walking along the river for another hour. Around 10pm Hailee said you should probably get back since you both had an early call-in tomorrow. So, you started walking back to her car.

She drove you back to your rental apartment and even walked you to the door. You thought it was adorable. "So... what are your thoughts on kissing on the first date?" Hailee asks, her eyes glued to yours. As a way of answering her question you lean in, she notices what you're doing and closes the distance. It was a short but sweet kiss, which left you both smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow, y/n. Goodnight!" Hailee says taking a small step back. "Goodnight Hailee, I had a lot of fun tonight." After saying she did too, Hailee started walking to her car. "Wait Hails, my car is still at the studio!" You call after her.

She turns around, "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. How about I pick you up at 7? I'll bring coffee and breakfast burrito's." She says to convince you. "That sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early then, goodnight Hails." And with that you walk into the apartment and lay down in your bed thinking back of the day.

~

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[moaserendipity]

My Top 10 BL's of 2023

I am back with my personal top 10 of 2023. I know I've been super quiet these days but making a top 10 is always fun to do. The #1 has been decided early this past year but for the rest... It was a crazy year for BL but only a few were really top tier...🔥🔥

10. My Personal Weatherman (Taikan Yoho)

One of the Japanese BL's I really enjoyed watching. It was more grown up then the ones I've seen and that was very welcome. I love the dynamics between the main characters a lot. It was a bit of a slow one, with the lack in communication between the two but I forgive that because the chemistry was really good.

09. Wedding Plan

Oh how i looked forward to this one, the second I saw the trailer. I loved the storyline but I thought it was very short, which made them rush through it at times, which was a shame because it was actually really good and I just wanted to see more. I loved the chemistry between Sailom and Namnuea, So I really enjoyed watching them. They are very new if I'm correct but I didn't notice it at all, so hopefully they will get another BL together but a longer one. Also I love the GL in this BL, it was very natural and I in the end hoped they would be the ones that got to marry. Not to forget about the cameo;s of my babies Payu and Rain and of course Prapai and Sky.

08. Moonlight Chicken

This one I've waited for so so long and it was kind of a surprise because I love EarthMix, Like Mix is my man but my attention got taken away from them and got attached to GemFourth who played Li Ming and Heart. I just loved everything about them! I loved how they incorporated Sign language because Heart was deaf and just the overall chemistry between them, was everything. They made me smile so much. Jim and Wen, you know were amazing as well but I sometimes felt frustrated by their interaction. The close moments they had were amazing of course but it was not what I expected from EarthMix but overall this drama was definitely worth the wait!

07. Kiseki: Dear to Me

I absolutely loved this one. I couldn't get enough of it. I am a sucker for the Hate to Love trope and this had exactly that and in a gangster way. Like I loved it. ZeRui and Bangyi were made for each other and you can't tell me otherwise how he went to prison for ZeRui and even got hurt but he still decided to dedicate his bakery to him with his Strawberry cakes, ugh too cute. The second couple made me want even more. The sassiness of Ai Di and the coldness of Chen Yi, they were really something. The way Chen Yi didn't realize that Ai Di loved him until he went to prison or that one hot night made me slap my forehead because nothing was more obvious, so I can not explain how happy I was they finally got together in the end!!

06. My School President

This really was a GemFourth year because this was their first leading BL and boy how they won us over with their cuteness. The OST was also seriously top tier. I think I loved all the songs. This entire Cast was amazing! To think I almost skipped this one...That would've been a mistake for sure, so I'm happy that I decided to give it another try because I fell in love with them and bingewatched it in one go. I can't wait to see the next project from them.!

5. Our Dating Sim

this Korean BL was a welcome one. I loved the office setting of this BL and the fact that the episodes were short as usual, didn't disturb me that much. Their chemistry made up for that! I will never forget how my heart sank when Ki Tae thought Wan had disappeared again, this poor man but I loved how Wan immediately comforted him the second he saw him. I should really rewatch this again.

4. Last Twilight

I know it's still running but I can not leave it out of my top10 for 2023. I am impressed with Jimmy and Sea. These two are everything to me at this moment. Their chemistry is crazy and I am happy they have this BL to show their talents again. I am impatiently waiting every week for the next episode and so far no episode has disappointed me, which is rare tbh.

3. Sing my Crush

Sing my crush was not even on my radar but the second I came across it, I bingewatched it. I am a sucker for music BL's, where the actors can ACTUALLY sing and play instruments.. I loved it so much. from start to finish. I really think this BL was very underrated. I did not hear a lot of people about it but it definitely deserves more!

2. I feel you linger in the Air

Ever since I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this one badly and boy did it not disappoint! I was in awe every episode. I don't think I've ever seen a Thai Bl that was staged in the past. Also this way of time traveling is one I actually like. As long as no bodies get switched I am loving it. Their chemistry was top notch and those intimate scenes. That kiss in the rain, Art I am telling you and that massage scene, HELLO!! I literally forgot to breathe at that point and my face was almost stuck to the screen, crazy!! So yeah this was a true masterpiece!

01. The Eighth Sense

Let's all act surprised by this one...... what can I say? This one touched my intire being. It touched my soul, My heart everything. I cried, laughed and even cursed at 2 people in particular.. This is the biggest masterpiece of 2023 and nothing can change my mind about this. The way I anticipated every week and felt sad when it ended, ugh!! I just want to praise Oh Jun Taek for the way he acted, because if I'm correct this was his first acting job or at least he is very new but he pulled it of perfectly and Ji sub, I am applauding him for the way he portrayed Jae Won. All I need now is a season 2 or an special episode where we see them do the things Jihyun wanted... like just please!! In al seriousness everything was amazing about this one and that's why it's my number 1

I really do think that the Korean BL's won this round. I feel like they are finally stepping up their game. It's still not as Explicit as Thai or Taiwanese but that's not what I am expecting. I don't always have to have NC scenes because without a story, it's not worth a lot. Overal the Bl's were powerful this year and Top tier. Hopefully next year will bring us even better ones!! <3

[dre6ming]

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter XIII- some things are meant to be

Masterlist <chapters 1->12 here>

Instagram photo dump masterlist

Imagines Masterlist

If you want to be tagged click HERE

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: age gap (10 years), cursing, smut, mature content, fingering, fluff, angst…

Plot: you surprise Austin with a live performance at the premiere of Elvis, the entire time thinking only how unfair it is that you have to keep everything a secret.

Word count: 6300

Disclaimer: everything fake

"How much longer?" I ask from the back seat, fighting the urge to bite my nails, wiping my sweaty palms against the material of my black pants. "Not much longer miss." Matthew says, mumbling some gibberish into his station, communicating with the other security guards. I look through the tinted windows at the flashing lights of cameras trying to snap photos of everyone. To keep myself occupied, I pull out my phone, pictures form the red carpet immediately popping on my feed. My smile is like I won a contest seeing Austin, dressed so handsome in a black suit with just one pop of color, a purple star flower attached to his pocket, he told me to look out for a surprise on the red carpet. The small detail is barely noticeable, but it means a lot to me, especially since I can't be there with him.

The past months together have been amazing, we've now been hiding form the public eye for 5 months and even though most of that time was spent over FaceTime, due to work, it still has been the happiest time for me. Timothee keeps asking what's got me in such a good mood for the past months, but I can't bring myself to tell him just yet, the only person who knows is Matt. I'd lie to say that I don't like the secrecy a bit, it's like we have our own little bubble no one ca touch. There have been the occasional rumors and some pictures to back them, but ultimately that's all they were, rumors, no actual photos of us together made it to the press, after the last ones back in February.

I stumble upon so videos from the carpet as well, which only add to my enjoyment, until my eyes land on Austin's trembling hands. My poor baby, he's been telling me how nervous he actually is about the possibility of people hating the movie and the fact that this will be the first time he's going to see it, only adds to his anxiety. Baz asked him a few times to watch the movie before the premiere, but Austin insisted he wants his reaction to be 100% true, it wasn't until 2 days before the festival that the realization that he might hate it, hit him. If you ask me all his worries are nonsense, I've seen the trailers as well as the scene Baz sent me with my cover playing over, the movie looks amazing at a first glance.

Somehow I managed to keep my presence here, in Cannes, a secret form Austin, there were moments when talking to him, when his nervousness and anxiety for the event almost had me spilling the beans. I'm in the car parked somewhere in the back, waiting for my sign to go out to make into the theater, where I'm sat all the way in the back. At the end of the screening I'll do a surprise performance of my cover, just me and a piano in front of everyone.

I decide texting Austin could help the both of us, so I open our conversation, quickly typing a message. 

Me:

⇰ Hey baby, you nervous?

Austin💜🧶:

⇰ Yeah I wish you were here

Me:

⇰ Me too baby

Austin💜🧶:

⇰ What are you doing up this late?

⇰ Isn't it like 3am in NYC?

I playfully roll my eyes at his text, he always worries about me not getting enough rest, which I know it's my fault since I've told him all about my insomnia. It's these small acts that get my heart skipping for him. Plus to be fair some sleep sounds amazing, I flew here straight from wrapping up filming, he of course thought I flew back home to New York, but I'm just a few feet away from him at the Cannes Film Festival, hiding in the shadows.

Me:

⇰ I can't sleep, I've been walking around the apartment all night

Austin💜🧶:

⇰ Everything ok?

Me:

⇰ Dw about it, it's your moment, not mine

Austin💜🧶:

⇰ Baby I always worry

Me:

⇰ I know

⇰ I'll be sure to watch you on tv

Austin💜🧶:

⇰ What if people hate it?

⇰ I've never seen it before

⇰ Maybe I should've when Baz asked

⇰ At least that way I'd know to expect people boo-ing me

Me:

⇰ Austin that's absurd, you've worked very hard and so did everyone else

⇰I'm sure the movie will be amazing

⇰and Priscilla and Lisa will love it, as will the world

Austin💜🧶:

⇰I'm just so nervous

⇰I've never been to something this important

Me:

⇰neither have I

⇰besides the Oscars

⇰I'm sure it's not that bad

⇰plus you have your dad w/ u

Austin💜🧶:

⇰yeah

⇰I still wish you were here

Me:

⇰I know

⇰hey

⇰will you do something for me?

Austin💜🧶:

⇰anything

Me:

⇰I'll be watching the red carpet on tv, shoot me a smile, will ya?

Austin💜🧶:

⇰I'll give you my biggest smile baby

Me:

⇰💜

Austin💜🧶:

⇰my darling

My heart races in my chest looking at those two words on my screen. I close the message app and open the instagram live for the festival, seeing Austin make his way back on the carpet with Baz and Olivia and the rest of the cast. One of the cameras zooms in on his face and he smiles brightly, then he does something I didn't expect, his lips move like his speaking to the camera. He's said those words to me so many times that I know exactly how his lips look articulating the words. "My darling" he mouths over and over again, then blows a kiss to the camera, waving.

"Ready miss, let's move!" Matt gets out of the car quickly coming to my side and opening my door. I put my sunglasses and cap on, walking fast with my head down. We have to be careful not to get caught by the press or anyone else, hence why I'm wearing an all black sweat suit to a huge premiere for one of the biggest films of the year. I'll be sat in the back of the theater and then right before the end I'll have to go change into my beautiful gown. Once again I worked with teuta matoshi to create a beautiful gown inspired by my favorite Elvis Presley jump suit, the dark blue one with silver sequence called the lucky suit form his 1972 concert. The floor length dress looks amazing, with a heart shaped neckline and silver stars decorating the dark blue fabric. Teuta even took it a step further to make me a set of matching gloves.

"Right this way!" Matt screams pushing me gently through the back door, looking back to make sure we are not being seen. I hurry inside, careful not to trip. Once I'm inside, I take a moment to look around, seeing Baz immediately and smiling at him.

"Miss (y/n), I wanted to say thank you one more time and wish you the best, since I probably won't be able too before you have to go on stage." Baz comes smiling with his arms wide open. I slide in his embrace and squeeze him tight. "I'm so nervous" I admit, as he pulls back. Carefully he takes the cap off my head, putting back in place some pieces of hair. "I know sweets, but I'm sure you'll be extraordinary." He smiles softly, looking me up and down, then lifts my right hand up to look at my wrist, where the bracelet from Priscilla sits. Baz walks his fingers over the precious metal, then looks me in the eyes. "Why don't you wait here a moment, I know I said this will be our secret that you are here, but I really think you need this."

He drops my hand, turning around walking away, my heart pounds in my chest, hitting against my breast bone like it wants to jump out. In my head there's a thousand possibilities of where Baz might have run off to. I sit there in the back of the big theater, looking over everything, people getting seated, sharing hugs and greetings. My eyes absentmindedly look for Austin and a smile sets on my face when I spot his blond head, walking through the mass of people, towards his seat. Of how I wish I could just run over to him and kiss him, tell him how proud I am.

"(Y/n) my darling girl, how could you keep such a secret from me." My eyes snap to Priscilla, walking towards me, with her arms extended to hug me. "Miss Presley-" "I told you time and time again, it's just Priscilla" she squeezes me one more time, before finally letting go. "You look so beautiful." She takes my face in her hands, looking at my simple makeup, I have some blue eyeshadow with silver sequence stars stuck on with lash glue. I feel myself blushing and the way she handles my face, angling it to get a better look at my makeup, reminds me of how my mom used to do it. For the first time in so long I feel this hole reopen in my chest. "What's wrong?" I blink quickly trying to hold back tears. "I just miss my mom, I think I wish she was here." I whisper, the lump in my throat making it hard to talk. Her eyes droop and she suddenly seems sad for me, bringing me back in for a hug. "I'm so sorry (y/n). I'm sure she would be happy for you, maybe you can call her after".

Back in March when I recorded the cover for the movie, she and I met for dinner and I told her all about my parents, it felt like opening up to another mother figure, talking to her. "I'll try." I say breaking a smile. "Now, Baz said you're nervous to go on stage. I remember back when I used to sit backstage with Elvis, he must of been doing his 100th and something show, but still he would be shaking in his pants like a little boy every time before he went on stage. Then the curtain would open and he would morph into this star, shining bright, the same will happen to you. I can't wait to see you." If I was fighting back a few tears before, now I'm fighting a whole river. She brings me in for another hug, then kisses the top of my head, whispering "good luck".

I walk with Matt and find our seats, getting comfortable and ready to watch the movie. All the encouragement from Priscilla and Baz sure helped, my nerves, which are seemingly nowhere near what they were. "I'm sure you'll be amazing." Matt whispers in my ear, right as the room goes dark and the movie starts.

The first time seeing Austin on the screen has me breathing a little heavy and I fight everything in me, not to pick up my phone and text him about how beautiful he looks. The way his hips sway with the music, all those little Elvis things he does, you can see how much work he's put into this project. Austin deserves everything big that's coming his way.

I tense in my seat with the next scene, him in his military uniform, on the floor, talking with Priscilla, played by Olivia. As he gets up from the floor, he goes over to the record player, putting on a vinyl to play. Suddenly the whole theater rings with my voice singing "can't help falling in love" . I'm struggling to keep from crying and fail, when I feel a single tear slide down my cheek. "There you go miss." Matt hands me a tissue, which I accept thanking him. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, so even though I'm not supposed to, I take it out to see what the notification is.

Austin💜🧶:

⇰I'd recognize that voice anywhere

⇰it sounded angelic

⇰I have tears in my eyes, baby, how I wish you were here

⇰I know I'm not supposed to be texting during the movie

⇰I just had to tell you how much I loved that

I want to start sobbing, ugly crying right here. There's no explaining how much his words mean. I restrain myself from replying, but quickly take a screenshot of the messages to keep forever.

The rest of the movie is so beautiful and I'm so absorbed in the story that I barely notice Matt shaking my shoulders. "Come on miss, we need to go in the back so you can get changed." I nod and gather my things, following him through the dark. He pushes through a few doors and finally we get into a room where my stylists wait for me to fix my makeup and hair. I can hear the credits of the movie playing as I squeeze into the dress, someone lacing up the corset, while someone else dabs some more glitter to my cheeks. Then there's silence and like on cue, everyone in the room freezes, holding their breath for the audiences reaction. The silence beaks with clapping hands and my team goes back to work.

I don't know for how long the clapping ovation lasted, I think I heard someone say 12 minutes, the longest in the festival's history. "You've got this!" Levis, who joined me halfway through getting ready, says. Holding my chin up, I walk to the piano, sitting down, feeling the cold keys under the pads of my fingers. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, pushing the piano keys. Then in the darkness of the theater a huge light shines on me, bringing me into the view of the audience.

"Wise men say, only fools rush in.."

I'm yet too scared to look at the people I'm performing for, but I hear soft gasping coming form them.

"But I can't help falling in love with you.."

I gather all my courage and spare a glance towards the chairs of people. They are hidden in the dark and only a few figures form the very first rows are visible to me.

"Like a river flows, surly to the sea, darling so it goes. Some things are meant to be.."

My eyes keep searching, hoping to see him, praying to see him. My heart flutters in my chest, but I keep my voice steady, singing softly.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too.."

Then I see him, he stands up, everyone is sat down watching me, but he stands up. Austin smiles at me, wiping tears from his glimmering blue eyes.

"For I can't help falling in love with you.."

My voice cracks as tears start flowing, but I can't take my eyes off of him. We're both crying, looking into each other's eyes. It's like we are the only people in this crowded space, just me and him. And something in my heart becomes so clear, it's because I'm dedicating the song to him. Because I couldn't help but fall in love with him, because now I'm irrevocably and utterly in love with him.

"For I can't help, falling in love with you..."

As I sing the final note, the whole room comes to life, every single person stands up clapping. My feet burn in my shoes against the soft carpet, willing me to move, to run up to him, but I can't, because of all the cameras here. I stand up from the piano, smiling and waving at everyone, prepared to walk away back to my prep room, so I can fix my makeup, for the picture I'm going to have to take. But before I go I spare one last glance at the audience and widen my eyes when I see him. Austin making his way through the people standing and clapping. He's coming my way, looking straight ahead like I'm the only thing he can see. Slowly I start taking small steps in his direction, holding up my dress, careful not to step on it and fall on my face. We meet halfway and his arms reach out to me, but I keep clutching my dress, begging him with my eyes not to do something we will both feel the consequences of.

"I-" I open my mouth to speak.

"(Y/n) oh my, I have goosebumps all over, that was so beautiful, congratulations." Baz cuts me off, placing a hand on my shoulder, pulling me in for a hug, which a reciprocate, looking at Austin over his shoulder. Austin looks frozen, his eyes staring at the ground, hands now resting in his pockets. "Thank you, Baz, it means a lot." I smile, sniffing, still feeling like crying.

"Here you go, honey, a beautiful performance, Elvis would be happy to see his legacy carried this way." Priscilla hands me a tissue and I thank her, using it to wipe some of my tears away. "Smile!" A photographer shouts and all 4 of us pose for the picture. I somehow land on Austin's left and he puts his hand on my waist, inching me closer to his frame. I try to ignore the feelings bubbling in the pit of my stomach, smiling for the camera, prying my makeup doesn't look too bad.

"Miss, one picture over at the piano please, Mr Butler, join her at the piano please." I hold my dress up, walking over to the white piano, a replica of the one Elvis had in Graceland. I sit down on the bench and try to collect all my dress together. "Here" Austin helps, pushing some of the fabric out of the way, sitting down next to me. My pulse is already at high levels because of performing, but him so close, has my pulse flying through the roof. Then his hand goes under the slit of my dress to rest on my knee, under the piano, I'm sure no one can see it, but the breath hitches in my throat and I don't miss the way the corner of his mouth twitches up, at my reaction. Austin's hand stays there for the entirety of the time we spend taking photos at the piano, not moving, not even when Baz, Lisa, Priscilla, Olivia and Tom Hanks joined us for a group picture.

When all that fuss is over, I'm looking through the crowd to spot Matt and have him take me out of here. I want so badly to stay, but I'm scared that if I will, I'll find myself in a very difficult situation, where either me or Austin will take a wrong step and it will ultimately be a PR nightmare. "(Y/n)" I turn around, seeing Kaia standing in front of me, looking gorgeous in a red dress. I feign my best smile, I have nothing against her, but still I have to watch her kiss my boyfriend and call him hers in front of everyone, so you can expect me not to be on my best behavior with her. "You look so beautiful tonight, Austin said you weren't coming, I'm glad you did though."

"I'm not going to stay, after parties aren't my thing really and I'm just-" I start making excuses for myself. "Alex is here, I brought him." She quickly lets out, confessing her small secret. "And how do you..?" How do you fake loving someone, when your real partner is here, is what I want to say, but I don't. Kaia sighs, tapping her foot against the carpeted floor, sadness reading all over her face. "It's difficult, just before we walked on the carpet I was talking to him and I was feeling so bad, all I wanted to do was drag him out on that carpet and kiss him. I know you must feel the same." She says referring to her real boyfriend. It's so frustrating that we have to sit here, have this conversation and talk in code, because of everyone's agenda. "I wanted this to be a surprise for Austin, but I'm scared to go up to him and talk to him, I'm scared a look could do too much damage." I admit, swallowing hard. She looks at me understanding, coming in for a hug. I hold her tight, looking over her shoulder at Austin. He's shaking hands and talking to people and then his eyes find mine and once again it's this energy connecting us. "I think I should go talk to him. Thank you Kaia, you look beautiful tonight, by the way" she nods, stepping away so I could walk up to him.

"Austin..." he smiles looking at me, with heels on I'm tall enough that he doesn't have to look down on me, but his eyes still wonder over my frame, drinking me in. "You're so beautiful, can I hug you?" Austin asks, moving his weight from one foot to the other. I scan the room, no one seems to pay us any mind and it would be just a friendly hug, right? "Thank you, I- do you think we could?" I whisper leaning forward. Confusion passes his features, but then he must come back to reality, realizing where we are and why I'm asking. "I think it's just a hug.." Austin shrugs his shoulders, trying not to look disappointed. "Ok." He couldn't wrap his arms around me faster, lifting me off the ground, hiding his face in my neck, not a friendly hug. I stiffen in his embrace, grabbing his suit jacket, turning my head to whisper in his ear. "Too much Austin, people will see." I warn.

"Let them, I couldn't give a fuck" he grunts, tightening his grip on me, making it a bit hard to breathe. "Aus, baby please, not now, not like this, you just had the longest standing ovation in the festival's history, don't ruin your moment." I reason with him, frantically looking around, making sure there's still no one looking at us, or at least taking a picture. His arms start to loosen and my feet carefully touch the floor again. With a sigh, Austin drops his arms and let's me go, I'd lie to say it doesn't somehow physically hurt to let him go. Looking at me, he does his usual sexy lip biting trick, making my knees buckle. "Are you coming to the after party?" He's keeping our conversation short and to the point.

"No, I'm tired, I flew here from Canada, we wrapped filming yesterday." I explain, not missing the worry showing in his eyes. "Where are you staying?" Austin questions, but his voice is barely a whisper. I smile wickedly at him, wiggling my brows, causing him to crack a smile and a little laugh. "Have fun at the party!" I pat his bicep and turn around, walking away, with my chin up, excited about getting to the hotel, the same hotel he's staying at, in the room right next to him. I had his room number from him and I insisted that I get the one right next to him.

"Ready, for some interviews?" Brianna, my publicist asks, pushing me in the direction of cameras. "Ready as ever." I say, trying to sound a bit excited, which I'm far from, but still, it's for the show of it all. So with a huge smile on my face, I make my way to a few reporters, answering their questions.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

It's two hours later that I find myself, crying, while a girl from wardrobe unties the tight corset of my dress. There's no actual reason for my crying, just exhaustion. "Ok miss, I'm gonna take it off now." The girl lets me know, as another rushes to me with a robe to cover me up. All the adrenaline in my body drained so now my body is just failing, all muscles ache, my bones feel silly in my body, my head is pounding. I dress myself in some leggings and a huge t-shirt, then wash my face one more time, knowing full well I won't have the power to do it at the hotel, so I'm trying to be as rigorous as possible. My legs wobble when I walk, so Matt decides it's better he carries me to the car, where I now wait. For what I'm waiting? I don't know. Cause Matt is in his seat behind the wheel and I'm in the back, with my knees to my chest, ready as ever to go to the hotel and sleep.

"Matt why aren't we going?" I groan, putting my head between my knees, prying that the ibruprofen I took will calm my headache soon. When he doesn't answer I look at him, meeting his eyes in the rear view mirror. He's smiling and just as I prepare to ask him one more time, the door on my left opens. A startled squeak escapes me, as Austin slides in the back seat next to me.

"Aus." I jump on him and he grunts because of the force at which my body hit his. "Baby, you ok?" I nod as he runs a hand up and down my back. Inhaling his amazing scent, I relax, closing my eyes as a relieved sigh leaves my lips. "Just tired." I mumble, further rubbing my face against his shoulder, holding him as tight as my tiered muscles will allow. "Go sleep, I'll be there soon..." he whispers against my hair.

"Can I go to your room? I bet your sheets smell like you." I mumble, making him giggle softly. "Sure, (y/n), I'll have my assistant call the front desk and tell them to give a key to Matt. I swear all I want is to go cuddle with you, but I have to at least show up to this party." I can hear the frustration in his voice and it annoys me a bit, because he just had the most amazing thing happen to him, his work being shown to the world and it being appreciated. "Austin baby, you need to go and have a good time, I'll be there waiting, please enjoy this, you just wrote history baby." I pull back and take his face in my hands, smoothing the pads of my thumbs over his sculpted cheeks. "You made so many people proud, Elvis being one of them, I'm sure of that, please honey, go and have this moment, I'll be at the hotel when you get back and we can cuddle all you want." I lean in and kiss the tip of his nose, but he tilts his head back, catching my lips with his, kissing me softly.

Austin grabs my hips with his hands, pulling me onto his lap, never once breaking our lips apart. I'm the one to finally lean back and take a moment to breathe, looking at him. He has a smug smile on his face and his blue eyes are glossy, shining in the darkness inside the car. "Go my rockstar, I'll be there when you're done!" I touch our foreheads together, breathing in deep, before I crawl out of his lap, back onto the seat. "Ok, baby!" He puts a hand on my head, leaning to kiss the top of my hair.

Before getting out of the car, Austin pats Matt on the shoulder. "Drive my girl safe, ok?" Matt turns around, shaking Austin's hand, smiling. "Of course sir, have a great time, if you need a ride, you can call me." Matt assures. "Thanks man!" With one last kiss to my cheek, Austin opens the door and gets out of the car.

"Thank you Matt!" I sigh, closing my eyes exhausted. A little chuckle leaves Matt's lips as he turns the car on and starts driving. "He's a good man miss!" He tells me, making me smile faintly. "Doesn't mean I won't beat his ass if he dares make you shed a tear, ok miss?" Hearing how serious he is, makes my heart leap with joy, he's really taken on the paternal figure these past months and it somehow made the pain of my dad ignoring me, less obvious. "I love you Matt, thanks for being here." I whisper, holding back tears. "I know, (y/n), I love you too, you're like a daughter to me, sweets. Now sleep, I'll wake you when we get to the hotel." I nod, mumbling a "thank you" that I don't think he hears and I let my body fully shut off, mind going blank as sleep takes over me.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Something softly shakes me and for a moment I believe it's the car moving, but then a hand caresses my face and coming back to the surface of consciousness I also start hearing the faint voice calling my name. "Come on miss, I've let you sleep as much as I could, but I think you'd feel better sleeping in bed." Matt says, as I rub the sleep from my eyes, trying to focus back on the world around me. "Thank you Matt." Dragging my body out of the car with some effort, I walk to the elevator in the parking lot. I slump against the elevator wall, playing with my hair, looking at the buttons lighting up with each floor we pass, until it reaches mine. As we make our way out of the elevator, Matt walks me to the door of Austin's room, handing me the key card smiling. "While you slept in the car for an extra minute, I moved all your belongings to Mr Butler's room, have a good night miss." I thank him once again and he turns on his hills, walking back to the elevator to go to his room.

Sliding the keycard in the door it opens with a click. I make my way in, taking a deep breath, getting a faint whiff of Austin's cologne. Putting all my things away and plugging my phone in, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Coming back, I take liberty to look through Austin's bag, until I find a navy long sleeve shirt, quickly taking my own clothes off and putting it on, enjoying the way it seems to swallow me whole. Getting in the bed and under the covers, I rub my face into the pillow, smelling Austin's musky and citrusy scent. Falling into a deep slumber, I pull the covers all the way up, letting dreams take over.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Sometime later, could be minutes, could be hours, I feel the bed dipping next to me and then a body of heat curls around me. "My sweet baby, my darling girl.." Austin kisses the back of my neck, his wet soft lips sending shivers down my spine. I turn around in his arms, wanting to bury my face in his chest. He smells like fresh soap and one of my hands wonders up to play with the hair at the nape of his head, feeling it damp, he must of taken a shower. "What time is it?" I wonder with my eyes closed, prying it's not morning and I don't have to wake up just yet.

Austin's hot breath touches my forehead as he places a tender kiss there. "I didn't mean to wake you, it's 3 am baby, go back to sleep." I try to pull him closer by his shit, only his not wearing one, but he figures what I need and pulls me tighter towards him, glueing me to his flaming skin. The soft hairs of his chest, tickle my nose and I angle my head up, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, loving the way it fits there, like a puzzle piece. His hands caress my back up and down, running over the soft fabric of his shirt, that I'm wearing. "Kiss me." I request, making him chuckle, one of his hands coming up to hold my chin and bring my face closer to his. Our lips touch and it's electricity flowing through my entire body, awakening every cell and heightening every sensation. We both sigh into the kiss, having missed each other's touch for far too long. His thumb traces the line of my jaw, his hand tangling in my hair, deepening the kiss. I taste the toothpaste on his mouth and when his tongue teases my bottom lip, I open my mouth to him, giving him full control, finally tasting some strong liquor lingering on his tongue.

I pull him in, quivering in his arms, moaning against his mouth. The hand that was tangled in my hair, runs down my body, following every curve and finally settling on my hip. Austin gives my hip a tight squeeze and I whimper, pulling back to catch my breath. I dare to open my eyes and look at him. He's more beautiful than I can describe, the moonlight lighting some of his features and darkening others. Austin wets his lips, biting his bottom one, looking at me with drowsy eyes. "Let's sleep, hm?" He says, nudging my cheek with his nose, kissing it after. I giggle and turn around in his arms, letting him be the big spoon.

Sighing, he pulls me flush to him, kissing my neck. I try to stay as still as possible, holding my breath in hopes of getting my heart to slow down so I could fall back asleep. "Breathe, (y/n), breathe" Austin whispers, spreading his fingers over my belly. "I can't fall back asleep" I say breathless. He hums against my shoulder, kissing the exposed skin there. "Want me to help, baby?" His voice low, as his lips still kiss my neck, causing heat to form in between my legs. "Yes." I moan, reaching a hand behind me to brush through his hair, pulling at the roots.

Austin groans, the vibrations of his chest resonating through me, going straight to my crotch. "Can I touch you?" Austin asks, his fingers working on pulling the shirt I was wearing up, to reveal my underwear. "Please." I throw my head back, giving him more room to kiss and lick at my soft skin. His fingers play with the hem of my panties, making me rub my thighs together, needing some kind of friction against my aching pussy.

Austin dips his long sleek fingers under my underwear, taking a second to play with the hair there, before finally making it in between my lips. He spreads me open, feeling how wet I am for him. "Fuck baby, so wet for me, (y/n)." He moans my name, biting my ear lobe, as he starts tracing circles over my clit. "Austin.." a sigh leaves my lips as I feel his other hand sneak under me on a mission to get a feel of my chest. His big hand squeezes my breast through the shirt, the roughness of the fabric against my hard sensitive nipple, feeling amazing, causing more sleek to gather into my now ruined underwear. "Shit honey, all this for me?" Austin asks, moving his fingers down to my aching hole, feeling the new arousal seeping out of me.

"You, just you!" I move my hips against his hand, needing him to give me the sweet relief I need. Feeling him smile against my shoulder, I tremble in his arms, begging for him to go back to rubbing my clit. "Baby, can I put a finger in? I.." he's breathing heavy, obviously as lost in pleasure just as much as I am. "I won't if you say no, I'll make you feel good anyway." His voice sounds heavenly, stimulating my thoughts.

I feel my heart pounding against my ribs and his finger circling my entrance has me completely at a loss of words. "Baby?" Austin asks seeing as I have yet to answer him. "Please, Austin, please." I pull at his hair with one hand, my other hand going over his one hand, that's kneading my breast and he growls in my ear. His finger slowly pushes in, the new sensation, has me arching my back, squeezing my eyes tight. A pornographic sound leaves my lips, my mouth hanging open, feeling him brush against my walls. "God so warm and wet, you're fucking perfect." Austin chants in my ear, starting to move his finger in and out of me. His thumb touches my clit, rubbing fast circles against it. I'm a moaning mess in his arms.

Austin curls his finger up, touching a spot inside me that has me seeing stars, screaming out his name. "Cum all over my fingers, (y/n), come on baby, relax." Pulling at his hair, my mouth hangs open, whimpers coming out of it, as I feel pleasure washing over me. I squeeze my legs around Austin's hand as he works me through my orgasm. "Aus, thank you!" He pulls his finger out of me, causing me to whine at the empty feeling.

My body feels heavy and suddenly I fight to hold onto my consciousness. Austin kisses my cheek, standing up from the bed and going over to the bathroom. I hear the sink running for a while and then he's back in bed, pulling me into his chest. "I think you're the best thing to ever happen to me." He says, but I'm too tired to answer, falling into the trap of sleep, feeling so warm and loved. And just as I'm about to be out for good, I feel his lips move against my hair. "I think I've fallen in love with you."

Unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her - Austin’s Pov of your performance

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[mobumi]

So Here's my final Bucchigiri review!

Overall a fun ride, but something is missing.

I give it a 6.8/10.

First time I saw the teaser and trailer for this l was so curious because the visuals looked amazing and I couldn't wait to see it. When I finally watched it, I have to admit I was disappointed, not because I thought it was bad, but because I thought the plot would be something completely different, especially judging Utsumi's previous works. I wanted it to be my new Buddy daddies, but alas.

As I mentioned before, I noticed some problems in the pacing and writing which, in my opinion, affected the quality of the show. But what I really enjoyed was how entertaining it was. The comedy seemed just right, the running gags were okay, and just the vibe in general worked for this universe they created. The 1001 nights lore was really well used!

I liked how this anime subverted my expectations and played with the shonen genre and overused tropes, that was definitely the fun part. There were some very good parts and metaphors that I think elevated the show and gave it something special.

But with this finale, you can clearly see all the things that the show lacked, more so in the writing. Ichiya's motivations were nonsensical and it didn't justify manipulating a teenager or killing him just to fight his former bestie. Arajin has such a rocky development and seeing him the exact same at the end felt kind of useless after his face off with Matakara. Added to that, the genie lore that doesn't make sense even with the great metaphor of being a Honki person and some plot holes here and there that are hard to look past. It almost feels like the people working on this project were not fully invested in developing the world more or the characters, just enough to keep the audience guessing. For me it was like eating something good but lacking in seasoning. I wanted more SEASONING, and not just salt and pepper (ok I'll stop with this analogy 😂) but yeah something more consistent.

I didn't expect something incredible though, so in terms of ending it did do the job and overall gave us something more than satisfying for what it was.

I had fun watching Bucchigiri and getting involved in the fandom! Though I have conflicted feelings about this show, it made me watch until the end so that means they did a good job making the audience interested and see its potential.

If there is a season 2, I would probably check it out of curiosity, but I think it'd be better to just end on this note and move on...

[absolutebl]

10 BLs With Bad First Impressions

BLs that sounded terrible in their synopsizes or trailers or in the first few episodes but really are worth watching.  

1. My Lascivious Boss

Vietnam (202) YouTube 

Not that we got much of a synopsis (Vietnamese BL isn’t listed on MDL) but from the trailer I was very suspicious. It’s now one of my favorite VBLs with fantastic queer rep. Yes, the seme is a drunken idiot most of the time, so you have to be okay with that, but it’s totally worth it for the uke character and his hella gay besties. They are beyond adorable. Full review here.

2. He's Coming to Me

Thailand (2019) YouTube 

I hugely dislike the my ghost boyfriend trope because China (and now Korea Peach of Time and Thailand Something in My Room) has made me expect it to be sad. HCTM is one of the few exceptions from GMMTV with two heavy hitting actors and one of BL’s greatest coming out sequences. Full review here.

3. Gameboys

The Philippines (2020) NetFlix?

Pinoy BL is not my thing. Also I didn’t want to watch anything about quarantine while in quarantine. But everyone said I should, so I did, and I loved it. (*whispers* I do like See You After Quarantine? even better, tho.)

4. My Esports Genius Brother 

China (2021) Gaga  

A strangely cute somewhat incomprehensible censored magical realism BL micro series about fated mates who balance each other out and must find the courage to stay together. Way more gay than I thought China could get these days. Full review here. 

5. Great Men Academy

Thailand (2029) ?

I HATE body swap. I love this show. Is it BL? That’s open to debate. But I liked it despite the premise and that’s real rare for me.

6. We Best Love

Taiwan (2020) WeTV 

I read the synopsis for this and I was like, really Taiwan? Have you NO imagination? Just stuffed with classic overused tropes. There is literally nothing unique about this show. Yet it worked out GREAT because WBL is a poster child for pair chemistry carrying a BL and it’s now one of my favorites of all time. Full review here.

7. DNA Says Love You 

Taiwan (2022) Gaga

Terribly weak first 3 episodes but stick with and you’ll be glad you did. As expected from Taiwan the acting and intimacy is on point it’s just the initial paranormal investigation arc is off - fortunately we switch focus to Amber and then it becomes and gloriously queer show. Full review here. 

8. Secret Crush On You

There cringiest cringe to ever cringe (and I watched 90s Japanese comedies, so I should know). Look this one was really hard for me to watch all along (I started and stopped 3x), but most watchers felt like it got substantially better after the 4th episode. The support cast is amazing, the queer rep unprecedented, and the chemistry is fantastic. But the cringe never really stops. Perhaps this is a case of “in knowing it better the cringe is better understood” (sorry Austen). Full review here. 

9. My Tooth Your Love

Taiwan 2022 Viki & Gaga 

Look the pitch was this is a “romance involving a dentist and dentistry,” and that’s true, which is hella weird. For many this was (and is) a turn off but I don’t have that phobia, and I enjoy medical dramas, AND I like Taiwanese stuff even when it gets odd. And ya know what, this is an absolutely wonderful show. My highest rated Taiwanese BL of 2022. 

10. Be Love In House I Do 

Taiwan (2021) Viki 

Apparently Taiwan really isn’t great at beginnings because a lot of them ended up on this list. The whole premise of this show is absurd and the incoming boss with his rubber gloves is creepy, but it becomes such a romantic bit of business once it finds it stride: ridiculously saccharine, domestic, and hella hot. Trust me, just watch it. This is peak Taiwanese BL, if you wanna know what Taiwan does well, this is it, this is what they do. Full review here. 

(source)